#I guess this will never change
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#black butler#kuroshitsuji#ciel phantomhive#sebastian michaelis#yana toboso#anime#mine#i guess some things never change lol
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do you think theyll ever be able to escape that cycle of sadness ? or will they be forever stuck in the madness, together ?
they really are bound to that sadness madness
#simon petrikov#betty grof#fionna and cake#adventure time#adventure time spoilers#im so excited for the new episode today#guess whos staying up just to watch it#this deranged fellow#also realized ive never drawn betty before so i had to change that
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going through my old journals as part of therapy homework and i'm reading a section written in the emotional wreckage of a full-on breakdown when i get hit with this line:
There is never a satisfying answer to ‘Why didn’t they love me?’
like wow babe. good fucking point
#like you were on the ground biting the carpet and dry sobbing while you wrote that and still. good fucking point#not a shitpost#cptsd#and it's true. there's never a satisfying answer#the truth is i know why i wasn't loved#i analyzed my parent's traumas and abuse to death. i understand why i alienated and was alienated from my siblings#i know why my mom was too overwhelmed to be capable of nurturing#i know why my dad vanished into addiction and avoidance#the details of our cycles of trauma and cptsd and family history i have a phd in all of it#i understood perfectly. i spent years studying and now i knew the answer#and guess what? IT WAS NOT SATISFYING!!!#because they still didn't love me! and i still couldn't change that!#it was still a completely unsatisfying state of affairs!#so like. when the people who are supposed to love you...don't.#when the people who are supposed to take care of you...fail to#you can look for answers and reasons and explanations#but that's not actually going to FIX your situation.#and it's probably not within your ability TO fix the situation. (and definitely not your job)#because you don't need answers--you need a new situation#*inserts Just Walk Out. You Can Leave!!! (Running Skeleton) Meme*#and yes. walking out isn't always possible.#but for you i hope it will be one day soon. and i hope you build the courage to take that leap.#stepping away from the people who failed to love you...it feels like being untethered but also like being lighter than air#new and scary. immensely relieving. the future opens up. empty but empty like a canvas. blindingly bright until your eyes adjust#like climbing out of a pit you called home and for the first time realizing how bright the light of day can truly be#when you aren't just getting glimpses from the bottom of a hole
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ok so did anyone else jump at the lore potential and imagery and symbolism of joel walking down a long narrow corridor to a red door he created to end his series completely of his own volition only for the trap to not work and embarrass him in front of the spectators who were all watching at the time btw. so he just had to go off and kill himself with ender pearl spam. anyone else
#like ok. symbolism cancelled i guess#but also it was so insanely fucking funny like joel never change oh my god#bonus points if you are also a tma fan and started thinking about the spiral. you get it. not anymore though hashtag failwizard#like thats sooooo embarrassing i love it. imagine winning but youre so cringefail you cant even kill yourself with your own trap so you just#have to start literally throwing shit at the wall and seeing what sticks (will kill you)#wild life spoilers#trafficblr#elfy talks#life series#life series spoilers#life series smp#smallishbeans#joel smallishbeans#wild life#wild life smp#mcyt
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truth is, I used to dream about boys like you
jjk atla!au with @philosophiums
#my art#jujutsu kaisen#jjk#itafushi#fushiguro megumi#itadori yuuji#fanart#jjk fanart#jjk atla!au#atla!au: art#atla!au: illust#lmhs#timelapse#2.5 hours niCE#i mean its still 2am but it could be and has been worse#realized while looking at this tht this au has Vastly increased both my use of and love for the colour green#she will never dethrone red but she definitely gets the award fr most improved#megumi especially looks . sososo good in green which is unsurprising but i am surprised anyway#speaking of megu#i love th timelapse feature so much u get to see me fighting fr my life with yuuji fr like 20 minutes then get megumi first try#there's a reason i needed a ref sheet for yuuji and not megumi. drawing megu is like riding a bike fr me#like minor adjustments r inevitable but his overall face/hair/expression come so easily and i love him all the more for it#anyway#i could have sworn i used adonis fv lyrics for a caption before??? it was so long ago#i guess i must have changed my mind on tht other post bc adonis remains free real estate >:3#PLEASE listen 2 adonis fv........pls i beg.....pls it is so itfs coded.......#hina pleading fr someone anyone to listen to former vandal goes unanswered episode 542346 :(((
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Sleepy Danny after full Phantom-mode night
I had to redo this pic so many times, but I finished it!! Finally :D
Really like the colours on this art, guess I just enjoy softness???
#danny phantom#danny fenton#dp fanart#art#there is still a lot of work to do but I guess that this way I will never finish it completely#so i'll just stop and go to the other drawings#Danny's room is kinda REALLY empty in cannon???#And it changes with every episode :P
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random but. Remember a while back when I talked about the trans-centered therapist I saw in college who didnt like that I said I wouldnt start dressing differently just because of medical transitioning?
Well, I also remember at a few different points in time being asked "What are you hoping to look like after starting hormone therapy?"
and I answered with: "I'm trying not to have any specific expectations so I don't become upset if I don't match them someday. I'm happy to experience any of the standard effects of testosterone."
And let me tell you. Neither the therapists nor the practitioners prescribing me the testosterone themselves liked that answer either.
#they hate a man who tempers his expectations i guess idk#as someone who has not experienced many changes i think it's a pretty good thing i didnt picture some imaginary version of me#who never came to fruition#but what do i know im just the trans guy here
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@mcyt-yuri-week Day 5, Rose/Thorns I never stop thinking about SL episode 8 never ever
#gempearl#pearlgem#shinyduo#shiny duo#trafficshipping#I tried to word it a few different ways but I feel like its still so easy to interpret this as negative but noo its positive#because the thorns here are referencing the scarlet persona that Pearl's embraced. being left with nothing but it - the thorns#But it's not that Gem likes her just for her scarlet persona. She likes her for her. Pearl's not just thorns#Gem doesnt really care about the “thorns” or the petalless rose stem. she cares about Pearl. She thinks Pearl's cool (thumbs up emoji)#Pearl changes into her scarlet fit like she has many times before with the purpose of scaring people & leaning into her feared witch thing#but Gem's just like “omg slayyy” and its the best. And to Pearl it's like whoag#Gem never saw how she changed. Never saw her be ostracized and the aftermath#But she thought that the Pearl she did see in SL was cool and so easily accepted her when Pearl herself though herself so unacceptable#she got love from the Mounders and BigB and that warms my heart but Gem being a newcomer immediately embracing Pearl is just#it hits different#whoa jimbo way too many tags hghghgh#mcytyuriweekvalentines#at first I thought about smth like “where the others saw thorns you saw a rose” but I thought it was more fitting this way#I guess you guys be the judge of that haha idk what Im saying#tubby art
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"a millipede! an ant! they're all..." "bunny?"
"is it like me 10 years ago?" the way AJ doesn't even sound fazed 😭
Luke "I feel like you're bringing a lot of reality into this scene" Manning
#okay but the “hello little person” was so cute#I love the guessing games#I was choking from laughing#“Vince the con!” “vince-con!” “other way around” “con... vict!” “VINCE!” “con... vince!"#AJ you sweet confused summer child never change#shoot from the hip#sfth#shootimpro#sam russell#luke manning#alexander jeremy#tom mayo#sfth sam#sfth luke#sfth aj#sfth tom#own post
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made a ton of canon accurate scugs in my style recently, i think they look interesting so i thought i'd share
#they decrease in quality overtime#you could probably guess the timeline of these based of the effort i put in#sorry saint + nightcat#haven't gotten around to them yet#yes these are the same drawings i used in my ref sheets just recolored and slightly changed#thanks for asking#rain world#rain world fanart#rain world downpour#rw inv#rw enot#rw rivulet#rw spearmaster#rw artificer#rw gourmand#rw survivor#rw monk#rw hunter#i will never get over monk's in game color#truly THE piss boy
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I'm going to be so real here I do not think Jayce killing viktor was done well and I don't think the aftermath was either it didn't feel properly weighted in either of their psychologies and the moment itself was incredibly rushed.
#my spicy opinion of the day i would never share on twitter because things would get very annoying very fast#it happened so fast it was almost comical#fortiche did amazing but it feels they were not given the time#the way we have to slow down the scene for jayces mircoexpressions to get a sense of things#im not really looking for someone to erm actually me or try to change my mind i am very stubborn and its unlikely to work KDFJLHDSj#im sure its because old man viktor told him off screen#but i do wish they did way more to explain why jayce just started blasting then even trying to talk#my guess is the hexcore as i proposed in my fic but still#THATS A PRETTY IMPORTANT CHARACTER MOMENT YOURE LEAVING OUT#season 2s favorite thing is oh that happened off screen#show it to me rachel ???!
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whoag magical girl transformation armor???
#jrwi riptide#gillion tidestrider#my art#sketch#another armor design that im never gonna use yeaaahhhh!!!!!!!!!!! and when i do ill probably change it anyway let sgoooooooooo#he looks so weird wearing full armor.... where are your fins boy. why are you wearing shoes.... contained him 😔#at least he's protected so i guess its alright...
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According to this study, women diagnosed with [anorexia nervosa] at the age of 15 years are likely to live 25 years less than predicted for the normal population; women diagnosed at the age of 20 are predicted to have 36.6 years of life remaining, versus 60.5 for the normal population; and for those in whom AN starts at the age of 25 the estimate of years of life remaining is 32.2, versus 55.5.
https://sci-hub.st/https://www.sciencedirect.com/science/article/abs/pii/S0378512213001254
#jesus christ#this is what i was talking about earlier about how teen girl suicide mortality stats are in a sense “wrong”#because the eating disorders teen girls tend to choose as a suicidality outlet are on a time bomb and aren't counted as successful suicides#and im not arguing that they should be#im just saying a lot of girls try to starve to death for a good ten years of their teens#but cant because children's bodies are extremely resilient#and then they end up dying later from the suicide attempt#same can be said from organ damage/hypoxia from overdoses i guess#anyway i never see this discussed in the teen suicide conversation and im not advocating definitions be changed i just think its important#eating disorders#disordered eating#anorexia#anorexia nervoa#anorexia nervosa#bulimia nervosa#i should put a bunch of pro-ana tags on this but i cant be fucked to look up the current ones im sorry
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Compilation of EVERY single time they changed Hobie's filter in the digital version:
Left: Theatrical release Right: Digital release
You might have to click on some of them to get a better look at Hobie, sadly I don't have a video editor that allows me to make better edits than these :')
#This took so long to make lol#cause I had to edit every scene with Hobie from both versions so I could watch them right after one another to compare them#I did this with ALL the scenes he's in also the ones where he's on screen as spider-punk#but they only changed his filters in these scenes so it was a waste of time :')#sidenote: no it wasn't it's never a waste of time to look at hobie I just couldn't use it for my GIFset lol#I also made a bouns one but I'm not allowed to post more than 30 GIFs in one post apparently so I guess I just won't add it then...#but Hobie was basically filterless during all these scenes in the theatrical version#I like that they gave him more different filters in the digital version#the only change I don't like is in the first GIFs#cause like that one post pointed out it looks like they removed his lipstick for some reason#also really wish I had a better video editor so we could get a closer look at Hobie but I did my best with what I had#also slowed some of them down to get a better look at them#been having this idea for a while and now I finally finished it!#which means I can go back to working on my fics now#hopefully lol#also lemme know if there are some other scens you guys want me to make comparisons of#cause I have both versions#the theatrical release isn't the highest quality though so if you know where I can get my hands on a better version lemme know ;)#hobie brown#spider punk#miles morales#spider man#peter b parker#jess drew#miguel o'hara#spider man across the spider verse#across the spider verse#across the spiderverse#atsv#theatrical version
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back on my free! brainrot
#my art#free! iwatobi swim club#free! eternal summer#free!#free! fanart#nanase haruka#makoto tachibana#rin matsuoka#haru#rin#makoto#i am not going to pretend to know the tags fr this fandom hdsgfsdjffjdg#but the iron grip this show has regained on me all of a sudden is insane idk where it came from#i am of the belief tht u never forget your first sports anime yaoi and this is living proof#these 3 i s2g they made up core portions of my personality#dumped so much of them into my ocs they fundamentally Shaped my taste in characters i think#bet u cant guess who my favourite is. /s#i wont keep up w that bit i cant keep it secret fr the life of me i am sooooo enamoured w makoto im SO crazy abt him#i thought maybe my tastes wld have changed upon rewatch but no th moment i saw him it all came rushing back#in terms of ships makoharu and rinharu still fight fr dominance in my head so i compromise by imagining All of them kissing#world peace <3 makorinharu <3#13 yo hina wld b going crazy stupid insane if she cld see me now
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i've never noticed before but Galarian Corsola is really cute.......
not to side with climate change but i would love to have a giant squishy plush of this depressed soccer ball beast
#and Cursola is AWESOMMEEEE#i was wondering how i never noticed and i guess it was a version exclusive...of course. :\#they gotta put this thang in more games. INCREASE THE CLIMATE CHANGE
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