#I guess this will never change
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troubledtealover · 9 months ago
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time-woods · 1 year ago
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do you think theyll ever be able to escape that cycle of sadness ? or will they be forever stuck in the madness, together ?
they really are bound to that sadness madness
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going through my old journals as part of therapy homework and i'm reading a section written in the emotional wreckage of a full-on breakdown when i get hit with this line:
There is never a satisfying answer to ‘Why didn’t they love me?’
like wow babe. good fucking point
#like you were on the ground biting the carpet and dry sobbing while you wrote that and still. good fucking point#not a shitpost#cptsd#and it's true. there's never a satisfying answer#the truth is i know why i wasn't loved#i analyzed my parent's traumas and abuse to death. i understand why i alienated and was alienated from my siblings#i know why my mom was too overwhelmed to be capable of nurturing#i know why my dad vanished into addiction and avoidance#the details of our cycles of trauma and cptsd and family history i have a phd in all of it#i understood perfectly. i spent years studying and now i knew the answer#and guess what? IT WAS NOT SATISFYING!!!#because they still didn't love me! and i still couldn't change that!#it was still a completely unsatisfying state of affairs!#so like. when the people who are supposed to love you...don't.#when the people who are supposed to take care of you...fail to#you can look for answers and reasons and explanations#but that's not actually going to FIX your situation.#and it's probably not within your ability TO fix the situation. (and definitely not your job)#because you don't need answers--you need a new situation#*inserts Just Walk Out. You Can Leave!!! (Running Skeleton) Meme*#and yes. walking out isn't always possible.#but for you i hope it will be one day soon. and i hope you build the courage to take that leap.#stepping away from the people who failed to love you...it feels like being untethered but also like being lighter than air#new and scary. immensely relieving. the future opens up. empty but empty like a canvas. blindingly bright until your eyes adjust#like climbing out of a pit you called home and for the first time realizing how bright the light of day can truly be#when you aren't just getting glimpses from the bottom of a hole
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mimefish · 2 months ago
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ok so did anyone else jump at the lore potential and imagery and symbolism of joel walking down a long narrow corridor to a red door he created to end his series completely of his own volition only for the trap to not work and embarrass him in front of the spectators who were all watching at the time btw. so he just had to go off and kill himself with ender pearl spam. anyone else
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hinamie · 8 months ago
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truth is, I used to dream about boys like you
jjk atla!au with @philosophiums
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dannypocalipse · 7 months ago
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Sleepy Danny after full Phantom-mode night
I had to redo this pic so many times, but I finished it!! Finally :D
Really like the colours on this art, guess I just enjoy softness???
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gin-juice-tonic · 1 month ago
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random but. Remember a while back when I talked about the trans-centered therapist I saw in college who didnt like that I said I wouldnt start dressing differently just because of medical transitioning?
Well, I also remember at a few different points in time being asked "What are you hoping to look like after starting hormone therapy?"
and I answered with: "I'm trying not to have any specific expectations so I don't become upset if I don't match them someday. I'm happy to experience any of the standard effects of testosterone."
And let me tell you. Neither the therapists nor the practitioners prescribing me the testosterone themselves liked that answer either.
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tubbytarchia · 1 year ago
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@mcyt-yuri-week Day 5, Rose/Thorns I never stop thinking about SL episode 8 never ever
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letsbesharkfriends · 21 days ago
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"a millipede! an ant! they're all..." "bunny?"
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"is it like me 10 years ago?" the way AJ doesn't even sound fazed 😭
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Luke "I feel like you're bringing a lot of reality into this scene" Manning
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sleepyc63 · 1 month ago
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made a ton of canon accurate scugs in my style recently, i think they look interesting so i thought i'd share
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lesbianherald · 26 days ago
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I'm going to be so real here I do not think Jayce killing viktor was done well and I don't think the aftermath was either it didn't feel properly weighted in either of their psychologies and the moment itself was incredibly rushed.
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wasyago · 1 year ago
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whoag magical girl transformation armor???
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3liza · 6 days ago
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According to this study, women diagnosed with [anorexia nervosa] at the age of 15 years are likely to live 25 years less than predicted for the normal population; women diagnosed at the age of 20 are predicted to have 36.6 years of life remaining, versus 60.5 for the normal population; and for those in whom AN starts at the age of 25 the estimate of years of life remaining is 32.2, versus 55.5.
https://sci-hub.st/https://www.sciencedirect.com/science/article/abs/pii/S0378512213001254
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fiepige · 1 year ago
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Compilation of EVERY single time they changed Hobie's filter in the digital version:
Left: Theatrical release Right: Digital release
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You might have to click on some of them to get a better look at Hobie, sadly I don't have a video editor that allows me to make better edits than these :')
#This took so long to make lol#cause I had to edit every scene with Hobie from both versions so I could watch them right after one another to compare them#I did this with ALL the scenes he's in also the ones where he's on screen as spider-punk#but they only changed his filters in these scenes so it was a waste of time :')#sidenote: no it wasn't it's never a waste of time to look at hobie I just couldn't use it for my GIFset lol#I also made a bouns one but I'm not allowed to post more than 30 GIFs in one post apparently so I guess I just won't add it then...#but Hobie was basically filterless during all these scenes in the theatrical version#I like that they gave him more different filters in the digital version#the only change I don't like is in the first GIFs#cause like that one post pointed out it looks like they removed his lipstick for some reason#also really wish I had a better video editor so we could get a closer look at Hobie but I did my best with what I had#also slowed some of them down to get a better look at them#been having this idea for a while and now I finally finished it!#which means I can go back to working on my fics now#hopefully lol#also lemme know if there are some other scens you guys want me to make comparisons of#cause I have both versions#the theatrical release isn't the highest quality though so if you know where I can get my hands on a better version lemme know ;)#hobie brown#spider punk#miles morales#spider man#peter b parker#jess drew#miguel o'hara#spider man across the spider verse#across the spider verse#across the spiderverse#atsv#theatrical version
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hinamie · 2 months ago
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back on my free! brainrot
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kibibarel · 1 month ago
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i've never noticed before but Galarian Corsola is really cute.......
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not to side with climate change but i would love to have a giant squishy plush of this depressed soccer ball beast
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