#I guess Ill just break the Law instead

[oifaaa]

I love Marvel’s way of dealing w/ child heroes. I really only read Runaways, Young Avengers, and Champions when it comes to that but they are absolutely buckwild. They either decide from the get go they want absolutely nothing to do with adult heroes, or get pissed at them after doing a team up and unionize with other kid heroes.

Child heroes in marvel before meeting the adult heroes: omg I hope my hero likes me I hope they're not mad I took their name

Child heroes in marvel after spending 0.5 seconds with any of the adult heroes: never mind these guys fucking suck my hero name now lol original who

[butchpeace]

it is so insane to say that doctors shouldn’t practice gender reassignment surgeries, or that hrt shouldn’t be accessible, and not for transgender activism reasons either (though ignoring the enormous number of people that are happy with their transition is just willful ignorance). where do you draw the line on what adults can do with their bodies? do you ban all plastic surgeries? do you ban all the surgeries that require removing “healthy” body parts? Do you have any idea the amount of autonomy that strips cis women of? What about breast reductions? Oh, they can be removed because the woman’s back hurt? What is the level of hurt required, how do you decide which women’s backs are hurting enough and which aren’t? What about cis women who desire hysterectomies for a variety of reasons? how is removing my breast different from say, getting breast implants. do we ban breast implants, and then where do you draw the line? it’s such a non-nuanced way to see things.

“all plastic surgeries should be banned!” what if somebody gets into a car accident and doctors have to reconstruct their face. Probably they can live without it, but are you saying they should? What if somebody breaks a nose, should the doctor do the absolute bare minimum to fix it instead of trying to give it the aspect it had before? What if a woman requires a mastectomy for medical reasons, and lately wants breast implants, should it be illegal for her to get those? besides, what is the level of illness required to perform a surgery that is outlawed? Do you think having to fight the law as well during something like breast cancer or similar would be of benefit to women? worth it if it means transgender people can’t get it either?

and don’t even get me started on hrt, because if you can’t prescribe those meds for a certain mental condition, what is the difference with any other medicine, especially psychomeds? That it has collateral effects? Guess what? Most of them do! That it shows on the body? What is the actual difference, that you can make a law out of, without any overlapping, between something working on your hormones to show a change in your physical appearance and something working on your hormones to show a change in your brain activity? What if a med that’s needed to cure whatever illness has certain effects on the body? I swear you people do not think.

I’ve thought about all of these things, over the 12 years I spent in the trans community and the 10 years I spent on hormones. I still came to the conclusion I did. Actually, going through it myself is what brought me to this belief and cemented my opinion.

HRT and gender surgeries are different from necessary medical treatments and procedures because they aren’t medically necessary. They are medically harmful across the board in every case, to varying degrees. Female bodies are not meant to have high levels of testosterone. It causes health problems. Same for males.

So in order to defend using HRT, they have to prove that the benefit outweighs the harm. How do they attempt to do that? By claiming that everyone will commit if they can’t transition.

And what basis do they have for that belief? Nothing scientific. The only way they could get that data is through a study that gives half the participants HRT and doesn’t give it to the other half, and compares how many people commit.

So right now, they’re just going on the assumption that transitioning helps our mental health better than any alternative mental healthcare treatment option would be able to. (And better than just leaving us alone.)

This is when most people bring up how trying to treat dysphoria in another way would be “conversion therapy”. Because they apparently aren’t aware that there’s a huge difference between using electric shock to try to change people’s sexuality, and using exploratory talk therapy to help dysphoric people work through the issues that caused them dysphoria in the first place.

Proper mental healthcare, medical education, feminist education, and teaching dysphoric people to connect with their body has the ability to get rid of their dysphoria. It worked for me and many others I’ve talked to who have detransitioned or desisted. And sometimes all it takes is just growing up for us to understand ourselves better and accept our bodies. But of course, that idea threatens the entire foundation of the trans movement, so it can’t be true. Right?

In my mind, it’s fucking dystopian that we have all these kids now who never even got the chance to grow up before having these decisions made for them. Being fed the idea that they’re trans, and the only way for them to be happy is to make drastic medical changes to their body, has a devastating affect on their mental health and leads them to medicalization they otherwise may not have needed.

As for elective procedures, yes I also oppose those. I think any surgeon who gives someone a potentially dangerous procedure, or a procedure with a high regret rate, should lose their license to practice.

It’s not “oppressive” to women to say I don’t agree with them getting cosmetic surgeries or electively getting their important reproductive organs removed. That’s fucking ridiculous, to call that “oppression”. The fact that women think they need these cosmetic surgeries is the real oppression.

Anything with a legitimate medical reason, breast reduction, or simple procedures to prevent pregnancy are exceptions to the rule because they legitimately improve quality of life.

I hope that helped you be able to follow my train of thought about all this, and understand better what I’m saying.

[archduchessofnowhere]

BOOK REVIEW: Sisis Weg by Martina Winkelhofer

Empress Elisabeth took a break from court life and dared to escape her assigned role, something that no woman of her time, certainly not of her rank, was allowed to do. Until the death of her eldest daughter, Elisabeth was a product of her environment: the good daughter, the devoted wife, the submissive daughter-in-law. She tried to live up to expectations even in her darkest hours, until her body and psyche sounded the alarm. She knew that in this environment the wounds would not heal. She allowed herself long journeys and stays away from the imperial court, and it did not take long for her transformation to begin: from fragile emperor's wife to self-confident empress. From a woman determined by others to a woman determined by herself.

There are already literally dozens of books about Sisi, and most of them have nothing new to say. So when yet another book written by an author that claims they're presenting "the real story" behind the Sisi myth appears, one is naturally distrustful. But only reading the preview of this book made me realize that historian Martina Winkelhofer actually had something new to say about Elisabeth. This book has been in my TBR for the past two years, and tired of waiting for a translation I just went ahead and used an automatic translator to read it. And guess what: this is one of the best books about Empress Elisabeth that exists.

Martina Winkelhofer's biography starts with Elisabeth's birth and finishes with her return to Vienna in 1862, after being away from court for two years. Something that distinguishes her from other Sisi authors is that instead of presenting a novel-like narrative about the empress' life, she adresses on the text the different sources that we have available, and isn't afraid to state frankly that there are thing we simply lack enough information to know for certain. Speaking of sources, she draws almost entirely from primary sources, and not just letters, but also court protocol documents, which brings the Viennese court to life in a way no other book about Elisabeth I've read before achieved.

This is also the Sisi biography with the most sympathetic and balanced depiction of Archduchess Sophie I've ever read, presenting the complex relationship between mother and daughter-in-law without vilifying either woman. Not only Winkelhofer adresses the problem regarding the sources (Elisabeth's statements about her mother-in-law come from after Sophie's death, and Sophie's correspondance and diary entries avoid mentioning any conflicts or quarrels within the imperial family), but also she understands both that Elisabeth was a very young girl who lacked the skills to understand court schemes and was deeply intimidated by the hierarchy at court - and therefore, by her mother-in-law, and that Sophie ultimately had no ill intentions towards her daughter-in-law, but simply couldn't understand why Elisabeth couldn't fulfill her role as empress as tradition demanded.

Another of my favorite things about this book is the attention Winkelhofer paid to Elisabeth's staff. The working and living conditions of her servants is often highlighted. There is a whole chapter focused on Elisabeth's secretary Leopold Bayer, a bourgeois man that was responsible of controlling and organizing the empress' household and was so effective at his job that years after his retirement his system still worked perfectly. Perhaps if you want to read only about Sisi you'll find this chapter, as well as all the other instances in which Winkelhofer focuses on the staff, uninteresting and disruptive, but I loved it. So many authors seem to think that the people responsible for cleaning, cooking and keeping royal households running weren't glamorous enough to deserve even a mention, so it was very refreshing to see how here it was an important part of the text.

To be honest, my biggest complain about this book is that it ended. This biography finishes when Elisabeth returns to Vienna in 1862; Winkelhofer is going to release the second part of her biography in October, but I wish she had just released it as a single-volume book, because if there is a historical woman you can get away with writing a 600+ pages long book is Elisabeth. And while the book is well sourced (over 500 footnotes!!!), she often made more general claims about the general lives of the aristocracy with no citations. Since Winkelhofer has written books specifically about the lives of the aristocracy before I trust she knows her stuff, I just wish she had referenced further literature on the matter. Also because I'm a Queen Marie of the Two Sicilies girlie, it disappointed me that Winkelhofer didn't mention her two weeks stay in Vienna in 1859, nor how her role during the Siege of Gaeta was one of the things that stressed her sister during 1860.

Overall this is a fantastic book that paints a complex and interesting picture of how the child Elise became in the young Sisi and then in the Empress Elisabeth. Let's hope that an English translation is happening soon!

[fe-fictions]

Gaius x Robin Commission (Robin gets pregnapped and Gaius is,,, super not okay with it >:O )

Since the end of the Valmese War, and your return to the living world, you found yourself back in the busy world of reconstruction and regrowth. 

There wasn’t as much for you to do as a tactician, and since Gaius was a reformed thief turned war hero, he was now on the right side of the law and would become an upright citizen dedicated to helping you restore the halidoms from Ylisstol’s castle.

But what this meant was that while there was plenty of work to be done, there was a lot more free time on your hands compared to war time. Now that things were busy again, it was getting difficult to find time to relax. 

The hustle and bustle of a growing halidom meant that more needed to be done by Chrom’s chief advisor, baby or not. Gaius was the one who was most worried about it. 

“You know, just because everyone else is getting busy, that doesn’t mean you have to as well, Bubbles.”

You glanced up from your work, where you’d been hunched in your office since the dawn. Your husband didn’t waste much time, closing the distance and circling around your desk. He pulled your chair back, forcing you away from the paperwork.

A small whine escaped you, though your glare was more jovial than annoyed.

“Gaius, this is an important budget proposal I have to review. Miriel was insistent that I give her my recommendations on it by the end of the day-”

“That would’ve been fine four months ago.” He put his arms on either side of you, gripping the back of the chair. “But unfortunately, you’ve been given strict rules not to overwork yourself until the baby’s born. And even then, Maribelle said you’d have to take it easy for another three months.”

“Gods…that’s such a waste of time!”

“She just said to ease back a little.” Gaius reminded you, taking your hands and lowering your arms so that they were wrapped around his waist instead. 

He gently rested your head on his chest, smiling fondly at his pouting, pregnant wife.

“It’s still too long.” You sighed, squeezing him close.

“Yes, yes. How ever will you survive without working yourself to death?” 

“Oh, hush.” You rolled your eyes, “How about you let me finish this review, and afterwards we can take a nice, long break together.”

“Is there anything I can do for you in the meantime?” His question was earnest, which received a warm smile and a squeeze of his hands.

“I would actually love it if you could bring me some of that herbal tea in the royal kitchen. It helps a lot with the back aches, and I’ve been feeling it for the last couple hours.”

“Sure.” He helped you up, “And would you like a sweet treat with that bitter medicinal swill?”

“That would be wonderful, yes.” You grinned at him, leaning up to kiss him. “Thank you for being so perfect.”

“Why don’t you take a little walk in the meantime? That’ll help with the aching while you wait.” 

You opted for a brisk walk in the courtyard. It was actually quite relaxing, and did help ease the tension in your back. The tea would certainly take care of the rest.

Within ten minutes, you opted to head back, figuring Gaius would be ready by then. But when you returned to the office, you found your office empty, only a cup of tea and some biscuits waiting on the desk.

“Guess he had something come up,” You shrugged, had a sip and a bite, and continued with your work. But the ache in your back didn’t ease like normal. A stronger, more irritable ache in your skull started, instead. 

“Ugh…” You groaned, pressing your hands to your head. A sudden migraine was abnormal. The world became blurred, a pit in your stomach. This wasn't an illness. It happened too suddenly. 

It was poison.

“Gaius…s-someone…” Your words were too quiet and too slurred to be coherent. You tried to stand from the desk, but your legs gave out from under you. The cup crashed to the floor in your attempt to catch the desk.

You felt the stone strike against your head, and then…there was nothing.

-------------------------

Gaius was held up by the lack of tea supplies. For some reason, he couldn’t find the right kettle, or the medicinal herbs, or even the cup you preferred. 

The cabinet he had kept everything of yours carefully stored in (the one he shared with you, that most of the royal chefs allowed you two to use)...had been compromised.

Everything was gone.

Gaius was not immediately concerned until he heard from every person he asked in that kitchen if they’d seen your herbs or dishes. To his chagrin, none of them had, save for one…who thought they’d seen Gaius come by earlier to make your tea. 

An impostor.

Gaius was sprinting away from them within seconds. Fear and adrenaline spiked, fueling his system to burst towards the monstrous mess that was coming. He fought the panic back as best he could, but deep down he knew what happened

‘It’s been years…dammit, it’s been this long with nothing-!! Why would they go after her now?!’

Gaius swerved around the corner, clearing the corridors and practically running over anyone who stood in his way by mistake. The door to your quarters was still locked, how he’d left it. Surely you returned from your walk by now. He tore the key from his pocket and thrust the door open.

“Robin?! Robin!!” He called after you, but received no response. He rushed to the office,; and his heart dropped to the floor.

Your tea cup was shattered, spilled all over the stone. Your desk was a mess, and your window, behind the chair…was unlatched. On the windowsill was a single flower; a snapdragon blossom.

The calling card of the thieves’ guild.

“Oh no. Oh gods…oh, oh, Robin-” He stumbled over his feet, trying desperately to turn on his heel and break out of the room. The Exalt was summoned frantically, which didn’t take long to cause a chaotic panic among Shepherds.

Gaius shouting “Robin’s been kidnapped!!”, fomented chaos. He was ripping through the palace, and lighting a fire under every single Shepherd he could find. 

Soon enough, there was a council room filled to the brim with confused and worried soldiers.

“How did she get kidnapped? It’s not even the dead of night-- how did anyone miss that?!” Stahl asked right out the gate. Frederick grimaced, unfurling a map of the continent and another with schematics of the castle.

“I am uncertain, which is alarming. It is not as if we leave the palace understaffed in terms of security. And Robin is extremely capable of defending herself.”

“That’s because these aren’t your run-of-the-mill criminals we’re talking about.” Gaius said, showing them the flower. “This is a message. It was left on the sill in Robin’s office.”

“A snapdragon.” Miriel observed simply, “It symbolizes deceit, does it not?”

“It does. It’s a message from the thieves’ guild.”

“What?” Sully stared at him, incredulous. “No way! We took down that band of fools ages ago. Hells, you were there! You helped us out!!”

Gaius nodded, recalling the days during the war when he’d provided the imperative information to take apart one of Ylisse’s biggest challenges; its organized crime ring.

He had been a part of it, long ago. Though it had served as little more than another avenue for him to bring in cash when he needed it. The ties had been cut long ago in an effort to preserve himself and his own interests. 

He needed to build trust with the Shepherds, and he wasn’t concerned about potential fallout. He didn’t have anything to lose, before. 

“They’re using Robin to get to me. They won’t give her back willingly, and I don’t know what they want to trade with me in exchange for her safety.” Gaius’ hands were on the table, scouring the maps in an attempt to avoid the pitying eyes of his friends and allies.”

“They want revenge.” Chrom’s hand was on his forehead, feeling the gravity of the situation increase exponentially. “If they were able to slip into the palace that easily, they knew how to navigate it. There must be a route that they took, right?”

“There’s a good chance they entered through the catacombs beneath; it would be most difficult to spot them there.”

“And where do these lead to?”

“There’s a network all throughout Ylistol. If they were able to access the royal catacombs, then they likely found an opening. And the entrances to the catacombs are…here, here and here.”

The group gathered around the map as it was marked at the southern and north-eastern sections of the castle.

“If they took that route…it would toss them pretty far from one of their hideouts. Hells, we could throw wyvern riders out there just to be safe, but it’s too open.”

His finger drifted from the southern point to the second marker, tapping his finger against the parchment.

“If they came out here…there’s a hideout 50 miles from here. It’s in the hills, and it’s tough to find; harder to get access to. If they‘re back in their hole, I wouldn’t doubt it’s this one.”

“And if they set up a new hideout? One you didn’t help us find?”

“Then I will spend every waking second hunting them down. I’m not leaving a single stone unturned.” Gaius vowed, his glare furious and filled with purpose. 

They were not going to get away with the foolish choices they made.

“Gaius, I understand your concern. Truly, I do. We’re all worried about Robin and Morgan. But I want to make sure you aren’t going to do anything rash.” Chrom said firmly, “We cannot risk you going rogue and getting injured because you lost control trying to get Robin back.”

“I would never let that happen.” Gaius snapped at him, “But you’re not gonna stop me from trying to find her. I’m not gonna lose her like this!”

“And you won’t. We’re bringing Robin home.” Chrom reassured him, looking tentatively to his knight commander. “But I don’t want you to get hurt trying to save her on your own. So promise you won’t go after her until we form a plan, as a unit.”

“A unit.” He repeated, his voice quieter. He looked around the room, “The amount of time it’ll take to get everyone ready is time we can’t waste. Just let me do this on my own!”

“We’re going to rescue her as a team- and that’s an order. Trust in us, Gaius.”

The thief was not happy. He was angry, and he was afraid. The guild didn’t work slowly, and they didn’t want her unless he came as a result.

There was no time to spare. 

Gaius bit his tongue and nodded, relenting to the Exalt’s command. He watched as the group returned their focus to the map, starting to draw together a strategy. 

They would form a final plan within a few hours, at least, and by then everyone would be ready to go.

As far as Gaius was concerned, a few hours was a waste of your time.

-------------------------

“Lord Chrom!!”

Sully’s voice rang out from the armory, where teh Shepherds had gathered hardly an hour earlier. She rushed to him and Lissa, her face pale and jaw clenched.

“Nobody can find Gaius anywhere.” She reported grimly, “And Cordelia reported that we’re missing a Master Seal from our stock.”

“Oh gods.” Chrom pinched the bridge of his nose. “He didn’t.”

“We need to move, quickly.” Frederick spoke from the side, looking just as grim as Chrom. “If he’s hunting them down we cannot risk letting him do more harm by acting alone.”

The Shepherds were whipped into an even more intense frenzy, rushing to go after not just their tactician, but a thief who likely just changed class to something even more lethal.

It was frightening to think what he was going to do next.

-------------------------

Gaius was able to find the guild fairly quickly, thanks to his lingering connections with Ylisse’s underground. 

Tracking the hideout down to the southern-most point of the kingdom was what caused the biggest headache. But once he found the entrance he was looking for, there was nothing left to lose.

His class change had brought with it a much more vast knowledge of paralytic poisons, with all sorts of fun side effects that might bring them to the edge of death, but nothing more.

The blades in his hands worked quickly in the cover of darkness, striking out and drawing blood at any thief unfortunate enough to pass him by. 

He was rushing through the corridors, the hideout in poor shape and poorly put together. It was clear they were in dire straits.

They would have been welcome to rebuild in his mind, before all of this. Now…well, it was going to be torn down by his own hand.

Veiled in black robes, he navigated swiftly towards their holding cells. It wouldn’t be long before he got where he needed to. 

If they were going to hold a prisoner anywhere it would be somewhere secure…especially given the status of their victim.

He climbed to the ceiling, drawing himself up onto the rafters when he reached the guarded doors.

 Two men, neither had sensed him yet. The wood creaked beneath his feet where he was suspended. Just as they looked up, a dart struck each of their foreheads.

They both fell silently, slumped to the floor.

That would buy him at least thirty minutes, before the poison wore off. He dropped and fetched the keys, swiftly unlocking the doors and descending deeper into the pit of the hideout.

He barely breached the doorway when he heard a familiar, dry laugh.

“It’s about time you came, boy.”

Gaius froze. Standing at the end of the hall, lined by rusting prison bars and stained blood across the stone. There, at the very end, stood his wife, a knife to your throat, your arms and legs bound.

“Robin-” His heart was in his throat. “Baby, are you hurt? What did they do to you?”

“She’s all right for now, Gaius. If you don’t want anything to happen to your wife, or your child, I would put your weapons down and get your hands up.”

They knew you were pregnant. Of course they knew. 

Gaius lifted his arms, taking his weapons out and dropping them to the ground as instructed. Then his hands were in the air.

“All right. It’s all on the floor- I don’t have anything else. Now let Robin go! She doesn’t have anything to do with this!”

“I’m well aware. You gave us all up for a shot at the good life, didn’t you? You thought if you sold out the pepole who took you in and taught you every damn thing you know, that you could live the high life. Have a cushy job in the castle…have a little family…you didn’t think that was gonna really happen, right?”

“Tell me what you want, and let her go- I’ll do whatever you want, so long as she doesn’t get hurt. Just leave her out of this!”

“I’d be happy to…if you hadn’t made such a poor choice. You got to pay for what you did, boy. So here’s what we’re gonna do.”

Gaius’ arms were suddenly yanked behind him, and a boot connected with his stomach before he could even blink.

“Gaius!!”

Your panicked call was quickl silenced with a press of the blade, drawing blood from your skin. Your captor shoved you forward, forcing you to clsoe the distance where your husband was writhing on the floor.

“This is what I want. We’re gonna beat the shit out of you, like you deserve. And then we’re gonna take your wife…you’re never gonna see her again. And as soon as that little brat of yours is born…they’re gonna be a real thief; my progeny. That’s your penance, for destroying the world we worked so hard to build. You spilled our blood…so I’m taking yours.”

Gaius reached his hand out, inches from where you struggled against your captor’s hold. This wasn’t happening. This was a nightnare. He couldn’t lose everything.

“N-no…please…” He gasped, fire burning his lungs with every attempt.

Instead, he got another boot to his stomach. Blood sprayed from his mouth. You sobbed.

“Stop it- stop it, damn you!! H-he can’t fight back!”

“No, he can’t. Looks like little Sticky-Finges Gaius has become a pathetic little creature. And now he gets to watch as we rip his entire reason for living right out of his hands.” The bastard sneered, a sick grin spread wide across his face. “Enjoy this moment, boy. It’s the last time you’ll ever see her face again. Though if you grovel…I might reconsider.”

“Huh…” Gaius’ hand touched the man’s boot, “I d-don’t think so.”

Suddenly, you were released, the man’s body contorting with pain. He fell to the floor, writhing and crying out. Gaius grabbed your wrist, pulling you to his side. He struggled to his knees, holding you to him.

“G-Gaius!” You felt him loosen the bindings, before the rumble came overhead. The ceiling shook, debris falling onto you both. “Gaius what did you do?”

“Poison charms. One of the many…many advantages of the assassin class. Though…I only have a few of those.” He managed, “He’ll be fine in an hour or so…but for now, he can suffer for wat he did…to you.”

“What’s going on upstairs?” You pulled the ropes off, before taking him in your arms, drawing Gaius to your chest. “Is that the Shepherds?”

“I’d a-assume so…they probably aren’t happy that I came for you without them.” 

“You did what??” You gasped, cupping his face to draw his hazy gaze to yours. “Y-you got beaten half to death and they didn’t know you came after me? W-what were you thinking?!”

“I needed…to make sure you…were safe.” He grunted, trying to swallow down the pain reverberating through every bone in his body. His hand fell to your middle, the smallest swell of a baby bump skimmed by shaking fingers. “I wasn’t gonna w-wait around while you were stuck here. If they hurt you…”

“I know. You stupid man.” You shook your head, pressing a kiss to his forehead and hugging him tight. “Let’s try to stop the bleeding while we wait for the others…I don’t doubt they’ll be here soon. And, um…thank you. I can’t imagine what you were going through when you figured out what happened.”

“Don’t worry about it…I wasn’t gonna stop for a second. Not even Blue could’ve kept me from g-getting you two home.”

“You’re a valiant man.” You murmured, squeezing him close. “Now stop talking so much. You’re gonna exacerbate the internal bleeding.”

Gaius nodded, relinquishing control to his dear wife. You did have a good point; the sensations he was feeling weren’t particularly pleasant.

He was able to stay conscious long enough to see Maribelle and Vaike come careening into the holding space, and could hear incoherent scolding when more Shepherds showed up.

When he came to, he found himself in a cot, tucked away in Southtown’s clinic. He would turn on his side to find everything still hurt, and he was tied up in bandages from head to toe…but that his wife was curled up beside him, sleeping soundly with his hand held to your chest.

Gaius accidentally woke you up by throwing his arms around you and hugging you as tightly as he possibly could, and of course peppering you with a thousand kisses that you couldn’t have escaped from if you tried.

You were safe. The baby was healthy, and both spouses would be assigned a long, gentle recovery period until you could return to work.

With plans in place to make sure that should Gaius ever have to leave your side again (which he would make absolutely sure happened as little as possible), he would be easily accessible and could hurry back to you.

The nightmare was over. Mercifully, he was able to bring his family back home. A fear he would spend the rest of his life ensuring would never happen again.

[balkanradfem]

I’ve had this idea for a book a while ago, and started thinking of it again today. I don’t feel like I can write it, but I can at least present the concept in a text post.

The book begins with an underground temple of an ancient female goddess; she’s been watching the state of her wards, and she’s angry. She’s been sealed underground, but she’s been festering anger and power, and finally, her seal breaks. The night sky lights up, and consequently, every m*n on the surface on the earth finds that he can no longer move.

Some are motionless on their beds, some have fallen to the floor, finding themselves completely immobile. They cannot speak either. They’re found by their flatmates and wives who are concerned, but ultimately unable to do anything about it; they can bring water and food, but he’s not able to eat or drink. Women quickly realize it’s all of them, and it’s not an individual illness. Female researches, scientists and doctors hurry to figure out what is wrong; but there’s no cause whatsoever, they’re all just immobile and mute. They can’t go to work, they can’t eat or drink, they can’t do anything.

In absence of m*n in the work force, women are quickly forced to take over their shifts and get their work done for them; some work is taken over by co-workers, and sometimes it’s a sister or a wife who is called to guess his passwords, and stays for the job. A lot are facing unpleasant discoveries about the m*n in their life, such as their p**n habits, proofs of pedophilia, stalking, exploitation of prostituted women, cheating, grooming younger women, misogynistic ideas online. The women get even less friendly-feelings towards their male counterparts once they have access to all of their finances - they quickly figure out just how selfish and secretive they’ve all been.

Meanwhile, there is some progress in the male condition. Some males have managed to move around a little, not to speak, but some have realized that the bed/floor they’re laying on, has gotten pretty dirty, and decided to clean it. As soon as they had this thought, an ability of movement was granted to them, and very relieved, they were managing to drink water and wash themselves, only to find themselves immobilized once again, this time on their bathroom floors. Few of them have managed to get up again. Few of them figured out just why. None of them have been able to get out of the house, or to get to work.

Women taking the places of CEO’s get access to the financial records of the companies, and very clearly see just how much it’s possible to pay the workers, vs what they’re actually paid, in order to increase the profits. And women decide to put that practice to the depth of hell. New laws are made where all the profits are equally redistributed to the workers, giving them all a chance for a safe and comfortable life. And these workers, are now women only, so for the first time ever, women are the only ones with significantly big buying power.

Women generally use their money to provide food and safety for their families, so with the increased availability of food, furniture, clothes and weather-protective items, the economy is experiencing a new type of boom, where things geared towards women are now sold easily, and women are gaining the power to purchase their own land, houses, farms.

The women are also having some angry confrontations with the still-immobilized, still speechless m*n on the floor; about their misogyny, about the cheating, about the lies, sexualizing minors, leading businesses that cause massive damage and harm to the workers, about how life is suddenly, easier somehow, instead of being harder and more miserable. Domestic violence victims, for the first time, are safe to walk out of their homes, to report, to start their own lives, because now the entire earth is a safe place. Victims of pedophilia, incest, rape, imprisonment, pimping, are now free to speak up, to do in fact, whatever they wanted to the now motionless abusers who are lying on the floor, unable to hit, rape, abuse, murder, talk back, unable to deny anything.

The m*n who did realize they can move, have managed to figure out how to do it more. They won’t be able to move if they’re thinking about their jobs, or what they need to say to their wives to make sure things go their way, they don’t get to move if they want to do anything for their own satisfaction. But, they can move if they decide to wash the floor. Or wash the toilet. If they think about making a meal for his wife. If they’re doing laundry. Same as it appeared, the ability to move disappears as soon as they fail to be doing that specific tasks. They’ll be allowed to eat or drink, but only as much as it’s necessary for them to be doing the manual labour.

They women notice, and convey this information; m*n, if you want to move, think about domestic labour. Some m*n are just grateful to move, and start cleaning the houses, washing the windows, doing laundry, making meals - but they also don’t get to do meals they like themselves. They get to move if they make food their wives like. Some m*n decide this is beneath them, and refuse to do anything until they’re at the very brink of death by dehydration. Some decide to die rather than to take this role upon themselves. They go angrily, but quietly. They don’t get to yell their indignation at their housemates. The women sadly realize there’s nothing they can do at this point - the m*n have chosen their own destiny. They could have lived, if they just did a bit of housework.

The world is looking for an explanation of what is going on, and the book follows a team of female archeologists, who have recorded some explainable findings, patterns and rocks leading close to the underground temple, that we have seen in the beginning. They feel they’re onto something, and their exploration is being reported on social media, the women hoping to find out what has caused this world-wide event of m*n losing their power to move.

Some women decide this is an act of god and something that cannot be influenced or explained, and the reasoning for it is mysterious, but they’re doing the best they can to keep leading their lives, now free of harassment and sexual abuse. Some women decide, that since it destroyed their relationships and love, it must be an act of a demon or a devil, and they gather and start a cult of blaming other women for it, trying to find which horrid witch was evil enough to do this to them, personally. They’re wreaking havoc on the most vulnerable women in the population, before they’re seized and stopped in their tracks, other women refusing to tolerate the religious nonsense, and violence towards their own. 

The women  gain power to reduce carbon footprint and exploitation of the third-world workers and resources; now that the goal is no longer to increase profit, these issues become resolvable by paying for the resources fairly, and quitting the practices that cause insane amounts environmental damage. The women are taking several months to get it down, but within a year, practices have changed, and new laws have been put into motion to prevent the development of more harm.

It’s now months since the m*n have been rendered motionless, and some have started recovering, and walking around to some point; but never outside their house. They’ve been grateful they’re allowed to eat meals, and sleep in a bed. They’re spending their days doing housework, and they also found out, that there’s differences in what each of them has to do in order to move. If this specific one had a woman continuously cook for him, and clean for him, then these specific actions are what he has to do. If the woman has been taking care of his child around the clock, now he has to do it, in the same way she would, or he goes limp again. If he wasn’t specifically counting on a woman to do these tasks, then he’s recovering a little bit faster than the others, allowed to get some free time, only unable to tell when it’s going to end.

They discover they can talk, if they’re saying pleasing and loving things to women. They can clean themselves, as long as the soaps they use are nice-smelling to women. They can fix their appearance, as long as women like to see them like that. They can make themselves sexually appealing, but only if a woman is in the mood for that. If they reach to touch her, to make her, the ability to move is denied for days. Some of them learn the first time; some of them fail to survive this.

The team of the female archeologists, after going through multiple perils, finally find their way down into the ancient goddess temple, and they’re rewarded for their effort; they’re allowed to speak to the goddess directly. They ask, for how long is this going to last? And she replies “For as long as the opposite lasted.”

-

With a book like that, I’d want to put all m*n into a situation where all women have been at one point or another. Where their survival depends directly on being useful and convenient to m*n. Where their appearance, demeanor and behaviour is allowed to exist, only while it’s convenient and attractive to m*n. Where their only option is to appeal to m*n, offer up their labour, their time and energy, their love and compassion, to be rewarded with nothing but continued survival. Where the only place they’re allowed to exist in, is a property of a male. Where the laws are being made not for their success, but for them to be stripped from protection and rights. Where people in power have no regard for their interests.

This is not a revenge fantasy; no m*n is murdered, tortured, raped, dismembered, sold into sex slavery, or turned into a corpse against his own will, they all have a choice, and it’s a choice women have been invisibly making for centuries. I’d like m*n to be aware, just for a moment, what that position feels like, what it means looking at a life of servitude, versus ensured silence and death.

It also calls attention to how bad our situation really is, or was at some point in our lives. We had all but no choice, but to do housework for males at some points in our lives. To cook for them, to clean their property, to take care of their children/animals/possessions, to comfort them, to please them, to appeal to them, to endure whatever abuse they put our way, if we want to keep living and to be acknowledged as human beings. We don’t get rights if we don’t prove to be useful. That is painful. That feels like being motionless and useless and in danger of perishing, unless we do as we’re told, as we’re conditioned to. I want us to be aware as well, that this is a crime against our humanity. We never should have been in that position. Nobody should.

[clickerflight]

Joseph: Part 5 - A Friend

Masterlist

Part 4

Had something happen today that made me lose a bit of steam for this story, but we're going to keep trucking. I probably got too caught up in looking for validation with my writing, but I think we'll be okay. I have plans for it and I'm going to keep going, I just might have to take a short break.

Content: Vampire whumpee, human caretaker, hospital setting, panic attack, grief, detailed memories of a character death

..................................................

Joseph enjoyed his music for most of the day, his eyesight coming back enough for him to see the small device where he could search for music and play it. He didn’t recognize the app, but he was glad for the music. 

He was bobbing his head to ‘Eye of the Tiger’ when he smelled someone familiar. He looked over into the hall, waiting until a man came into view. The man that had to be Joshua Muir looked to be of Mexican descent, clean shaven and wearing his hair just long enough he could pull some of it back into a little wolf tail. 

He wasn’t wearing a police uniform, instead wearing well worn jeans and a t-shirt. 

Muir opened his mouth in greeting and Joseph realized he was still wearing his headphones. He pulled them down, the sounds of the hospital greeting him again, but he could focus attention on Muir and it wouldn’t bother him. 

“Hi,” Joseph said, feeling once again safe as Muir sat down in the chair by the bed. 

“How are you feeling?” Muir asked.

Joseph shrugged. “I’m completely regenerated. The nurses said they were going to get some more blood into me overnight and then get me set up to go to a rehab center.”

“Nice. That was pretty quick,” Muir commented. 

Joseph nodded as the situation dawned on him for the first time since waking up. “Oh, stars, you, I….. Sorry. I shouldn’t have forced you to ride in the ambulance with me. You didn’t get in trouble, did you?”

Muir laughed. “No, not at all. Well, maybe a little but it wasn’t a problem. You needed someone to be there for you, man. It happens.”

He nodded a little. “Thanks for coming back. I hope I’m not keeping you from anything.”

Muir shook his head, a hint of sadness entering his expression as he said, “No, you’re good. I, ah, I moved to the city pretty recently. I don’t have many friends yet outside of some coworkers… but I guess we don’t really hang outside of work. This is…. Kind of nice, actually.”

“Oh,” Joseph said, surprised. “Alright then.”

There was a moment of awkward silence before Muir asked, “So, got any questions? 3 years is a lot of time.”

Joseph shrugged. “Haven’t really seen enough to have questions, I guess…. Have the fledgling laws passed?”

“Not yet,” Muir replied, looking slightly annoyed. “Well, parts of it have. People with terminal illnesses can apply to become a fledgling, but the stuff around people with chronic illnesses and terminally ill children got tied up in the courts last year.”

“Well, I guess it’s good there’s been some movement on that,” Joseph said.

“Yeah,” Muir said. “So, what do you like to do?”

“I like reading,” Joseph said with a shrug. “And D- my bondmate was teaching me how to play the piano. I used to work at a tech shop. I guess I was kind of, I dunno, stuck in a rut. Wasn’t really sure what I wanted to do with my life…..”

“Well, there’s plenty of time to figure it out,” Muir said with a shrug. 

Joseph nodded. “And you? What do you like to do?”

“My job takes up most of my time. I’m working my way up to being a detective. I’ve been a cop for a few years now and I’ve been studying to pass the tests they’ll need me to do. I’m pretty excited. The Chief has been pretty hard on me, which makes me think it’s going well.”

“How’s that?” Joseph asked, curious.

“Well, she’s a tough love kind of lady,” Muir said with a mischievous smile. “She’s been criticizing my work a lot lately, which tells me some big guns are watching me, trying to decide if they should try me out. It’s a bit early in my career for it, but I’ve been proving myself and I think they see it.”

“Oh,” Joseph said, intrigued. “That’s awesome, then! I hope it all works out for you!”

“Of course! And you’ll be the first to know if it does!” Muir said, his grin splitting his face. It drooped and he hesitated. “Er, if you want to be friends, that is. Maybe I can help you figure out what you want to do with your life.”

“Oh yes,” Joseph said eagerly. “I could definitely use a friend.”

“Good,” Muir said with a grin. “I wonder…. I want to talk to the nurses real quick. I’ll be back.”

Muir hopped up and left, the smell of his excitement still hanging in the air. Joseph slipped the headphones back on, not really paying attention to the music as he waited for Muir to come back. 

Muri came back after another 20 minutes, a bag in his hand. Joseph pulled the headphones off and Muir said, “Alright. The nurses said you can check out tonight.”

“Check out? Where am I going? With you?”

“Yup! I had some extra clothes in my car so you can put these on and we can get out of here. I thought you’d probably like to sleep somewhere quiet tonight.”

“Oh, I certainly do,” Joseph said, pushing the blankets off his lap and turning to sit on the edge of the bed as a nurse, the same one who brought him the noise canceling headphones, came to unplug him from the drips. 

Once that was over and the small holes in his skin healed, Joseph stood up, taking the clothes and heading into the bathroom to change. 

The clothing was a bit big on him, but after rolling the top of the pants down inside once they held just fine. He stepped out, shifting the shirt to sit properly on his shoulders before taking the shoes Muir held out for him. 

“We’ll get you some better shoes later,” Muir said with a smile. 

Joseph nodded, grinning. The two walked out, Joseph shuffling a little to keep the shoes on his feet. Muir had already registered his address with the lady at the desk and they were set to go. 

“I think the rehab people will come to meet you around 2 tomorrow? I’ll be at work, but the hospital will let them know to go to my house.”

“Cool,” Joseph said, his shuffling steps feeling strange. They were smoother than he thought they would be, as though there hadn’t been three years and a regeneration in between the last time he walked and now. 

“And then we can get you clothes and stuff tomorrow night,” Muir said as he got into his car. Joseph entered on the passenger’s side and buckled his seat belt, relaxing as heard the familiar sound of a car starting. 

They soon left the hospital parking lot and drove down roads as the sun to the left of them as they hit the highway. Joseph watched the world pass by in awe, the rumble of the car soothing to his fragile mind. 

Maybe he’d be fine. Maybe one day he’d be healed and forget about what happened and he could move on. Maybe when he had something good to do with his life and-

But who would he share it with? His bond with David was empty. It was gnawing on him, crushing his soul and begging to be fed. He had been without a pairbond for three years and his body and mind were beginning to realize it. David was gone and he could still remember feeling his pain through the bond, could still hear his screams. He remembered when the blade had entered David’s heart and killed him. The pain and fear had been unlike anything Joseph had ever felt. His and David’s mingle fear, the pain, David reaching through the bond searching for comfort, searching to be sure Joseph was still okay, and then the knife had come down. 

It was like losing a limb. Crushed in a combine’s mechanics, shattered and torn and shredded and bloodied and violently taken in a moment that could never be changed and never be reversed. The emptiness had consumed Joseph’s mind entirely. Going from all that noise to dead silence where his own fear and pain echoed down and back again through broken links. 

He would never get David back and the pain would last forever. It felt like it would last forever. How was he supposed to deal with it all? How was he meant to survive this?

He grabbed on tightly to whatever was pressed against him. He couldn’t breathe, he couldn’t hear, he couldn’t feel. All he knew were the memories of David’s gargled screams and the broken bond as his sire and bondmate died. 

He knew he would need to pairbond again eventually, and that sent a new wave of sorrow through him. Was it not enough to be on his own? To always remember David and cherish his memory? He was Demijeoa. He would have to pairbond again to heal, but he couldn’t imagine it. He couldn’t imagine pairing with anyone after that. 

He pressed his face into soft fabric, sobbing desperately, unable to alleviate the pain. He realized someone was running a hand through his hair, untangling it and running down his back in strokes, and then he recognized the smell. 

He lifted his head to find Miur looking out a window, though Joseph’s stirring brought his attention back down. “Hey, are you back?”

Joseph felt a wave of sorrow and embarrassment so strong it sent him to hiding in Muir’s shoulder again. 

“Hey, man. It’s going to be alright. Promise. Do you want to talk about it?”

“”S not gonna be alright,” he mumbled. “He’s dead.”

He felt Muir tense up, but he didn’t stop rubbing Joseph’s back. “I know, I’m really sorry.”

Joseph let out a shuddering sigh, simply letting Muir quietly comfort him. “I don’t know what I’m going to do.”

“You don’t have to. Not right now. Right now, it’s enough to just grieve. I know losing a bondmate is painful, even if I can’t really understand it.”

Joseph nodded before peeling himself away from Muir, scrubbing his face. 

“Are you going to be okay?” Muir asked.

Joseph just nodded so Muir turned off the hazard lights, signaled, and got back on the road. It was dark now, and Joseph was so tired he just laid his head against the window and let the rattle of the road bruise his head repeatedly. 

Joseph was asleep by the time Muir pulled into his driveway. He got out and went to the passenger seat, opening the door quickly and propping up Joseph to keep him from falling on the pavement. The vampire slept like a dead thing as Muir closed the car door with his hip and walked up the steps to the house. 

After some awkward shuffling, he managed to unlock the door and step inside. He walked through the house to his bedroom where he set the vampire on his bed. He coaxed the blankets over him and went back to the front door to lock it. 

After a quick snack and a shower, he got ready for bed and slept on the couch in the living room. 

………………………………………………..

Joseph woke in a comfortable bed wrapped in blankets that smelled enough like Muir to tell him that Muir had given his bed up to Joseph. He sighed, pressing his face into the pillow for a moment before rolling over and out of the bed. 

He poked his head out into the hall, looking around. There was another room set up with a desk and walls lined with cork board, though only one was in use. He soon found the bathroom and cleaned up before going to the living room. 

Muri laid on the couch, bundled in blankets and snoring very softly. Joseph hummed and decided to make breakfast. 

There wasn’t much in the kitchen and he ended up just improvising with some quick oats and eggs, as well as getting some coffee ready. 

He heard Muir wake up and smiled when he heard Muir’s small confused noise when he smelled food. 

He stumbled in, wearing sweatpants and a blanket cape as Joseph turned, scooting a plate of food across the island to him. 

“Got the coffee started a bit late but it should be done in a mo.”

“Thanks,” Muir said, surprised. 

“You're welcome. And no offense, but do you live on oatmeal, eggs, and canned chili?”

“Er, no. I tend to grab food while I’m working,” he said, fishing a fork out of the dishwasher and sitting on one of the stools to eat. 

Joseph rolled his eyes and sat down next to him once the coffee was done. Muir took the coffee eagerly, taking a sip and closing his eyes in delight. They ate in silence for a minute before Muir said, “So I guess this means you want me to buy more food.”

Joseph snorted. “Yes. You’ll end up with kidney stones if you keep eating like you are.”

Muir shook his head and downed his coffee. “Alrighty, then. I’d better go get ready.”

“Kay,” Joseph said, enjoying his breakfast a bit more slowly. 

When Muir came back, he was dressed in his uniform and ready to go. “I left a note on the computer with the password. Feel free to surf the web while I’m gone. Just remember-”

“The meeting at 2:00. I got it,” Joseph said, putting the dishes in the sink while he unloaded the dishwasher. 

“Yup. I might stop by on one of my breaks, but we’ll see.”

“Alright. See ya.”

“Bye.”

The door closed, the key scraped in the lock, and Joseph was alone. 

Joseph stood in the kitchen, his heart pounding in his throat as the silence pressed in on him. Silence like silver. 

He shook his head. He was not interested in having another breakdown today. Not right now. He was going to hold it together and if he needed to cry himself to sleep that night, then by the stars he would cry himself to sleep. 

He rifled through the kitchen, putting things away as he went along until he’d taken care of the dishes. He loaded the new ones into the dishwasher and closed it. 

He supposed the next thing he could do would be to catch up on what he’d missed. 

He went to the room with the cork board walls, glancing at the images and notes tacked there. It was a missing person’s case about a little girl. He hummed, looking at the little girl’s face. Did anyone look for him and David like this? Did someone in the world string up their names and faces, staring at them in the hopes that it would provide some clue?

Joseph shrugged off the image and sat at the computer, typing in the string of letters and numbers from the sticky note and opening up the search engine. 

He stared at the blinking bar for a moment, uncertain of what he should do before he started pulling up the social media accounts he’d had and opening them up to see what there was to see. 

Joseph: @not-a-space-alien @why-not-ask-me-a-better-question

From Dust to Ashes: @writereleaserepeat @currentlyinthespiral

Part 6

Let me know if you want to be on the taglist

[surpriserose]

i cant get over how fucking fascist the dark knight rises is which like...i knew going in it would be if only because its based on frank millers the dark knight comics (and also no mans land???) And frank miller is the biggest piece of shit in comics whos not alan moore or garth ennis but christ i think nolan managed to go even more mask off

Okay grain of salt im not the biggest comics guy i just read the good stuff sylvie sends me so im not as knowledgeable about comic stuff but i stay silly anyways im gonna go character by character thats easiest for me

So batmans barely here except to become disabled and then practically heal overnight so very cool point number one 😐 but half of the movie hes stuck in the scary pit prison (because the Lazarus pit is too silly for nolan) with all the arab guys who didnt get whitewashed and its so boring and it sucks and only white people made it out of the pit ever basically who gives a shit it sucks honestly the only reason im mentioning this is because i honestly forgot bane wasnt the main character about an hour in because like? He should be? and ill get to that

Joseph gordon levitt is there and his character has a name and i do just want to call him joseph gordon levitt instead but thats long as fuck and hes robin so im just gonna call him robin even though he sucks ass. the whole point of his character is to be the good cop to gordons bad cop but it doesnt really work because thats a shitty fucking thing you see in media all the time because they always just go for the its just some bad apples approach look at this good apple dont you love apples approach but honestly nolans deepthroating the boot so much its even worse here. and yeah dudes robin but hes like.... nolans oc as robin because thank god i dont want dick in this movie (which would bring the whitewashing count up to 4 characters) or god forbid jason todd but i think its really telling how even robin in this universe has to be a fucking cop instead of like any of the disadvantaged kids bruce actually takes in like yeah this robin is still an orphan but thats way less important to the narrative and to nolan than being a cop.

gordons also barely here and i dont give a shit about him i wish he died i mean i always wish he died because hes a cop he is THE cop in every batman piece of media (except when he was jack the ripper one time or something?) and why even the most benign batman media is copaganda because theyre fucking besties. really i just want to talk about one scene before I get to the bulk of this post bane. late in the fucking almost THREE HOUR LONG MOVIE theres a scene where gordon is rallying the cops and goes to some cops door and hes like "why did you let your wife answer the door dont you know whats going on out there?" as if women are being raped on the streets of gotham which we never even see a fucking hint of??? the actual main issues affecting gotham at the moment are food issues and even thats not a problem because aid is getting in slowly and thats actually how gordon gets MORE FUCKING COPS into the city its insane and im gonna come back to this again with bane but while we're talking about the misogny -

-lets talk about catwoman who just kind of exists doing the catwoman thing of oh im on batmans side but not really and im on banes side but not really and it sucks but lets start with the misogyny before i talk about catwomans spineless centrism. when catwoman is caught by joseph gordon levitt shes taken to prison and the cops specifically point out shes taken to a mens prison (?????) because of the new laws because shes such a risk that a maximum security womens prison cant hold her but a mens prison can because womens prisons are all knitting circles i guess. This is really just an excuse so she can be in the prison that bane stages a prison break on (based) and come back for the climax and also have a hashtag girlboss moment where she does a sexy flip attack against a man threatening to sexually assault her which is just so classy nolan. and i want to fucking point out that this is blackgate prison which in most batman media is ALREADY FUCKING COED this shit was so unnecessary and gross and i just...its still pissing me off obviously so lets get to catwomans shitty fucking robin hood shit and why robin hood narratives are rarely ever radical. yes stealing from the rich and giving to the poor is cool but here and in most narratives its really only cool because its..one person or a small group. A society wide redistribution of wealth? out of the question thats too scary just go back to helping one kid steal an apple lady and hating that bane is literally crashing wall street (based) and breaking into rich peoples homes and bringing them to sentencing trials for crimes against humanity (based). Catwoman will have no part of that thank you and will instead just kind of...hang out until batman gets back.

side note what the fuck is up with the timeline in this movie batman gets his back broken and taken to the pit which is located in....an "ancient part of the world" the batman wiki tells me which holy shit okay the racism continues forever. but batman is not in gotham and again his back is literally BROKEN until it gets healed because he....was hoisted into a standing position with a rope? and idk how long that takes whether its months or a day because the movie seems to suggest both???

okay lets talk about talia al ghul and ras al ghul really quick before i get to based bane. Ill start by saying they're really fucking whitewashed like probably the worst example ive ever seen? Talia (or miranda tate as she's called for most of the movie) is played by a white french actress and Ra's al ghul is played by white irish actor and racist liam neeson. Because the comics are also racist ras al ghul never is really given a clear country of origin besides vaguely arabic slash east asian partially because hes so old but also again the racism but hes certainly not white again...because of the racism. and neither is talia who is only slightly less vaguely chinese and arabic. nolan gives even less of a shit than most batman writers though which is a high bar. talia was so boring and poorly written i barely remember her but they gave her half hearted attempts at environmentalism (incremental and done by begging the rich for everything though of course) before saying oh its actually because she and bane want to blow gotham up with a bomb which...god its all so stupid i honestly forget the bomb shit exists because it makes no sense and seems to have a detonation timer of 24 hours which again is why i literally have no idea what the timeline is. this shit is so stupid and unnecessary except to be the secret reason banes populist revolution of gotham (based) is actually bad but its so fucking tacked on even beyond most reasons why communist characters in media eat a baby to show theyre actually bad and so is communism because communists love neutron bombs.

BANE TIME! I'll also start out by pointing out that bane is whitewashed since hes supposed to be from a fictional south american slash caribbean island prison which......man. He's just tom hardy here though. Lets keep talking about communists eating a baby so theyre bad now. I think this is a trope people associate more with the mcu which is fair the falcon and the winter soldier pulled some shit because of course it did but i think we should consider the dark knight rises as a prime example instead. Not the originator since anti communism didn't start with nolan although i wish i could blame him for that too. Banes list of crimes batman has to stop him for are killing cia agents (based), crashing the stock market which he didn't even kill anyone at (not as based as he could have been), stage a prison break as previously mentioned (based), revealing police corruption (based), forming a militia to govern gotham while theres a transition of power from the rich and the police to the people (based), killing a bunch of cops (based), exploding some of gotham including all but one of the bridges out of the city (really just a strategic decision since hes about to have the american military on his ass and needs to counter that), and blowing up the pittsburgh steelers (extremely based). hey why is this guy the villain again? hey why does gotham have a wall street now why is this such a big deal is it possibly because the occupy wall street protests happened before during and after production of the movie? no that certainly couldnt be the case theres no way nolan would hate peaceful protests and create a movie where god forbid they werent peaceful and cops were instead treated like they treat protestors so we feel bad for them instead of people who are literally sick and tired of their labor being exploited by capitalism for the benefit of the rich. like jesus christ this movie is so blatantly fascist explaining the plot should have anyone going hey wait a minute. and you may say im biased in favor of bane as a communist but jesus christ are you seeing the shit nolan is pulling im being even handed in comparison i mean the fucking climax is batman showing up to rally the cops against bane and the mostly citizens militia of gotham like jesus fucking christ. banes not even a fucking dictator hes literally just some guy in most of the scenes after gotham is taken back by the people hes not even the guy sentencing and killing the rich and the police thats scarecrow! hes just on the sides like everyone else. and while im on scarecrow (jonathan crane hes not called scarecrow in the movie but he is that judge guy) nolan treats it as unreasonable that these are not hearings to determine the guilt of the police and the rich they protect because the people have already determined that theyre guilty but they just fucking are by definition. you dont get rich under capitalism by working hard you get rich by exploiting hundreds of thousands or millions of people out of their labor and livelihoods these people are fucking guilty even if they havent killed anyone with their own hands. but because bane does kill people on screen we're supposed to think hes worse but he only kills rich people and cops and the pittsburgh steelers!!!! like holy shit i hate this fucking movie i hate christopher nolan

[squarebracketsmileyface]

vaguely points towards the direction of fourth of july by fall out boy. i was talking to my friends ab it being a brian&tim song but honestly? its soo "sorry its licked" jaylex sometimes. "you are my favourite what if, you are my best ill never know." / "oh im sorry, i didnt mean any of it, i just got too lonely, in between being young and being right you were my versailles at night" / "i said id never miss you but i guess you never know" its them.

- lynxb3 (hii!)

Hi Lynxb3 :D (Lynx?) no no, you were right, I'm changing the name to "Sorry, It's Licked" forthwith and rewriting the entire story so that Jay licked Alex's keys so that they belonged to him, as per the ancient laws of the universe

Also you're SO right with that song, there are so many lyrics that work so well for Jay and Alex, and honestly just the comparison to fireworks all the way through the song works for them as well. because like, when done properly fireworks can be fun and beautiful, but if you fuck up even a little bit when you're setting them up they can shoot off in the wrong direction or too early or too late and really badly hurt people. Like, yes, they can be beautiful, but you can also get severe burns from them and stuff like that. Which, yeah that's Jaylex in S,IL alright lol.

Anyway, looking at specific lyrics under the thingy bob cos it got long:

"I said I'd never miss you, but I guess you never know, May the bridges I have burned, Light my way back home on the fourth of July" is one of the lyrics that really feels like Jay and Alex to me, like, specifically the idea that after everything got SUPER fucked up in uni and they finally parted ways, neither of them realised just how much they'd miss each other? Like, i think especially Alex wouldn't have realised it, because he's gonna break it off fairly impulsively (it's still a good decision, but it's a fairly split second one all the same) right after Jay really badly hurts him, so obviously he wouldn't think he'd miss Jay, because the last time he saw him was a time when Jay did something that really fucked him up, y'know?

and then like, the bridge between them is burned, duh, but they still find their ways back to each other years later during the events of MH. And that bridge is still burned, but instead of being a blazing inferno it's just glowing coals. Which obviously isn't gonna be fun to walk across, you'll burn your feet and there's the constant threat that a board will give way and send you plummeting into the water rushing below. And, yeah, that does happen, they both get burned then Alex purposefully shoves Jay off the bridge and sets it back on fire because that's the only thing he can think to do to stop Jay following him back across it, which would get Jay killed.

"You are my favorite what if, You are my best I'll never know" Jay and Alex both definitely had at least a phase of thinking about what they could have been if the other person hadn't fucked it up. or, well Jay would have thought about what they could have been if Alex hadn't fucked it up. Alex would have thought about what they could have been if both of them hadn't fucked it up.

Alex isn't unaware that his own actions and behaviors had a hand in their relationship failing/not going further than FWB's, but he doesn't think he's solely to blame. I think for a long time he did just purely blame himself, mostly because Jay verbally/outwardly blamed him too, like, just straight to his face made him feel like it was his fault. But (especially after he got together with Amy) he'd eventually come to realise Jay was at fault too, that they both fucked it up and chances were that they could never have worked out while they were both still 'themselves'. They'd have to have been so different than they were for their uni relationship to have worked out/been healthy.

"And I'm starting to forget, Just what summer ever meant to you, What did it ever mean to you?" Honestly, I can't decide which of them would have been more upset to find themselves forgetting things about the other, like, after a year or two of just not talking to each other or seeing each other at all after Uni.

Maybe Jay would be the most upset if he did forget anything, but I don't think he would forget that much? If that makes sense? Like, I think that relationship in uni had such an impact on him that he wouldn't forget nearly anything about it, and i think that he'd honestly hate that because he'd be so angry at Alex for how it ended (i have evil plans to give them a terrible 'break up' lmao, they do about it so fucking badly) like, I think Jay remembered Alex's birthday more easily than he remembers anyone elses, even the people he actually cared about actively, I think he would still remember Alex's favourite meal and his favourite songs, I think he'd remember the bands Alex told him he used to listen to before he met Jay, all the random ass shit. and he would hate it.

he'd hate that he remembers more about Alex than he does about his current partner or his current friends or anyone else. (no I'm not projecting. No i don't hate that I struggle to remember my best friends' birthdays but I remember a certain not-technically-my-ex's birthday without even having to think about it, because I got hyperfixated on him and my brain decided to keep weird random facts about him, what are you talking about?)

On the other hand, I think Alex would forget a lot about Jay, whether that's because of Operator mind fuckery or just as a natural thing he would have forgotten no matter what, and I think he'd hate it. I think he'd hate realising he forgot something about Jay, especially as he slowly came to terms with his sexuality and realised that he had in fact really liked Jay and just hadn't known how to deal with it, so had just shoved it down and vehemently ignored it. I think he'd hate it if he realised he could no longer remember Jay's favourite colour, his favourite season, his favourite whatever.

I think it'd make him worry about what else he didn't remember about Jay, it'd make him worry that he was forgetting good things about Jay and making it so that his mind could only paint Jay in a bad light when actually there were things he'd forgotten that would place him in a getter one.

"Oh, I'm sorry I didn't mean any of it, I just got too lonely, lonely, whoa" God, Jay and Alex say so many nasty things to each other that they don't mean in S,IL (like, over the whole series not just in the main starting fic) Like, in chapter 2 of S,IL with Alex saying anything and everything horrible that he could think of to scare Jay away and make him hate him so he stopped trying to find out what happened to Alex in uni to make him the way he is now with all the Operator stuff. and then also in chapter 3 of "If It Ain't Broken" Jay remembers a fight he and Alex had, and remembers some of the really nasty shit he said to Alex during that (and probably forgets a whole bunch of it too, because he struggles to remember stuff that happens when he's like REALLY angry, everything just kinda greys out and he doesn't remember anything much about what happened)

god they're both so horrible to each other sometimes 💀

I am a cruel god forcing their hands.

They could have been happy but I'm just here like "dance for me my pets, dance for me and perhaps I'll reward you with some sliver of fluff for you to wrap your wounds with."

And then I give their promised fluff to someone else 💀

"Don't tell me you cried, Oh, honey, you don't have to lie" (i thought this line was 'don't tell me you're fine, oh honey you don't have to lie' literally until just now when I finally looked up the lyrics for this post, so well done me) Honestly though, I think if Alex told Jay he'd been upset about ending their FWB relationship in uni Jay wouldn't have believed him. Like, if Alex had told Jay he'd cried over it, that he'd had to ask Amy to reassure him that it was the right decision and it didn't make him a bad person for ending it, Jay would think he was bullshitting him. He'd think Alex was just saying it to stop him from hating him for it, or to make him feel sorry for him.

"I wish I'd known how much you loved me, I wish I cared enough to know" Alex alex alex alex alex

alex

Specifically alex after uni realising he liked Jay back and wishing he knew how much Jay actually liked him. Like, he knew Jay liked him, obviously, but he didn't know the extent to which he did, he always shut the conversation down the second it strayed too close to real talk about real feelings, and now he's regretting that. he wished he knew, he wishes he'd cared enough to ask about it. He wished he'd consciously cared enough about Jay to get over his fear of being in love with another guy, but that wasn't how it turned out and now he's left thinking back on what they had and picking through every little thing he remembered Jay doing and saying, trying to find something to tell him exactly how much Jay liked him.

did Jay just like him casually? did Jay love him? did jay like to think they could have ended up being partners for life if Alex had just gotten over himself? or was the furthest he saw them theoretically getting just a short-ish relationship once they got out of uni, before they eventually parted ways, or maybe remained friends after that?

Alex would feel bad about not having cared enough about Jay to get over caring about himself and his fear of himself and how people percieved him. Even though he'd know that his fear of people thinking/finding out that he was queer in some way was a very valid fear to have. Y'know?

"I'm sorry every song's about you, The torture of small talk with someone you used to love" honestly this one is just the awkwardness of Alex seeing Jay again for the first time since he gave him the tapes after Uni. Like, Alex has done all sorts of introspection and come to terms with his identity and has realised he did like Jay back back in uni and just hadn't known how to deal with that. And now he's lost Amy, and he's face to face with someone he's realised he actually used to really like, and oh god maybe he still likes him, and he just doesn't know what to say, he doesn't know how to talk to him, he doesn't know how to make it so this isn't awkward.

[feluka]

what's up i'm still very ill with this bug/flu/whatever and i'm going to start binging all of good omens season 2 in a minute. but to spare you all 59850 posts on your dash about something you might not care about, i will instead use this post to liveblog! i will be going back to this post and editing it with every update, so if you're interested in hearing my thoughts you can come back here (and if you're not it should be easy to avoid)

here goes!

update #1: when i started watching i SWORE to myself i would let it all play out before obsessively rewinding the bits i liked after it was all over. less than 2 minutes in and i failed.

"I'd hate to see you getting into any trouble." now what if i chewed my arm off.

update #2: crowley shielded aziraphale first before aziraphale shielded him in the garden of eden???? what if i cried.

update #3: the power is finally back so i've finished episode 1. all this talk about the book of life is raising my goddamn hackles. terrified to see how it comes into play. it's very interesting to me that crowley hasn't told aziraphale about it, too. i personally think aziraphale would still hide gabriel even if he knew about the extreme sanctions.

also, shelly conn is fabulous but i feel her version of beelzebub is *much* more animated than anna maxwell martin's. she's incredible and i love all her mannerisms but at the same time i was very attached to the stoicness of the previous beelzebub so it'll take a little bit to get used to.

update #4: aziraphale doing the little 'one two three four' with his finger before singing to maggie. he's so precious to me he's the specialiest little guy in the world for me and i understand crowley because i, too, would get into trouble with both heaven and hell to keep aziraphale safe

update #5: episode two done. thoughts:

1- this is just a romcom isn't it. i mean.

2- the music that played while aziraphale said crowley needed to take him to hell invokes the music that played during the bandstand scene in episode 3 of season one. i LOVE each and every scene that examines the themes of 'your side, my side, our side' <3

update #6: i'm (not unpleasantly!) surprised that they're addressing aziraphale's classist rant from the book. on one hand i'd just considered it one of the things the adaptation decided to do away with, but now that they've acknowledged it, i'm now very excitedly anticipating a resolution to that conflict. because if i remember correctly in the book the matter didn't really get resolved, aziraphale just dropped this bombshell on me and i had to put the book down for a minute lol

i guess they've been hinting at beelzebub spying on the bookshop using the flies, but i'm curious as to why they would have that knowledge and pretend they didn't. what's the benefit for playing coy here? either there is, and we don't know what that is yet, or the flies are a red herring.

update #7: finished episode 3 and i'm honestly not sure i understood a lot of it! what happened to crowley after falling through the gorund?? did they send him to the pit of torture or whatever for stopping the suicide? also aziraphale is my favourite character but if he says something like "the virtues of poverty" again i'm going to bite his head off. anyway. crowley. don't you know you're a fictional character and that according to all laws of fiction, if you say "if any harm comes to aziraphale" it means it's probably gonna happen? smh

update #8: i still haven't watched any more since last update but. oh dear. i'm too worried to click 'next episode' because 1- the more it dawns on me what might've happened to crowley after getting pulled into the ground i get so hopelessly depressed and 2- 'it's too late. it's always too late' is a very worrying note to end on and i'm positively terrified!! for future reference don't watch anything emotional or worrisome while having a stomach bug. i'm writhing in my seat lol.

update #8: the chat between "jim" and crowley. i am gonna need a short break before unpausing :)

update #9: so i haven't updated for a while because i couldn't think but i just finished the series. i think i can't think. i think i need to sleep and i think i'm very very very very very sad.

[happy-emmdings]

on OUAT season 6 finale

One thing that still baffles me to this day is how OUAT’s season 6 finale managed to be so astoundingly nonsensical and just an absolute dumpster fire all around. This is where I complain about bad writing and wasted potential of a dead show🤗

Mostly it’s two things…

1) What really bugs me is that they set up a plotline with Killian and David climbing the beanstalk, that made some sense at first and was actually the most solid plan… only to throw it away and have it come to a ridiculous dead end. The absolute lack of effort to make things make sense this show sometimes exhibited istg. What upsets me the most is how nonsensical it was that they didn’t end up using the bean and how the writers bent over backwards to not let it happen. 

Killian and David climb the beanstalk, Killian gives a little stressed out passionate speech about wanting to go back to his wifey and I love all of that. But then they set things up for the story to continue in an organic way, they set up a possible exciting Captain Swan/Captain Cobra plotline where Killian gets to Storybrooke and… don’t use it? What was the point of having Killian fall dramatically from the beanstalk if he wasn’t going to use the bean at the last moment to survive and go help Henry convince Emma that they were all real? It was the perfect opportunity! How is it possible that that wasn’t how that episode went? How was that obviously, objectively not the best continuation of that plotline? So much Captain Swan and Captain Cobra potential wasted. What they did instead was so unsatisfying. Can someone please explain to me why they had Killian fall down and than he was just… fine. Somehow he fell on his back from skyscraper height but didn’t break his spine or become a greasy stain and a pile of shattered bones? What was the point of that? Were the writers trying to embarrass themselves? They set up a good plot and replaced it with infuriating nonsense instead. It’s like they completely gave up on not only the laws of physics, but also satisfying narratives.

And even then, when Killian miraculously shrugs off that unbelievable fall like it was nothing (why did that happen in the first place if it wasn’t going to mean anything at all?), even then he still doesn’t use the bean! Snow tells him to go to Emma and he walks all the way to Regina’s castle for some reason (there is no reason, it doesn’t make sense), and by then they’re like “oops, actually the bean doesn’t work now. nothing means anything and no character gets to be useful🤷‍♀️” ??? 

What annoys me is not that it didn’t work, but that it had every reason to work and yet the writers shot themselves in the foot and created ridiculous reasons for the bean plan to fail. They made extra effort to make it nonsensical. Ugh.

2) It’s really a problem when the whole premise of the episodes is utter bullshit. Am I the only one that hates what the concept of the “final battle” turned out to be? Again, please explain to me how the sole determinant of the very existence of numerous entire realms was the personal belief of a single person, Savior or not. How was the existence of something so vast and so much older than her dependent on Emma’s belief in it, especially when she had erased memories and was being gaslighted into thinking she was mentally ill? Those realms had existed just fine for probably thousands of years before she was even born. And suddenly her disbelief turns them into nothingness? Even realms of which she is not the Savior (like Agrabah, that had Aladdin, not Emma) and that have nothing to do with her, like Oz for example. I guess somehow the curse made it possible? Because fuck any rules and restrictions, magic can do anything and everything, right? Except when your magic system gets overpowered like that, it can be really hard for the viewer/reader to swallow.  Dare I say half-assed worldbuilding?

It makes me want to rewrite at least the last episode and unfold the wasted, obvious storyline that got thrown out of the window for some stupid reason.

[clambuoyance]

I love Kon but one think that really annoys me abt the comics is that they never acknowledged how messed up it was that he was dating older woman (Tana, Knockout) as a 16 year old. Does Kon even know it was wrong? WHERE WERE ALL THE ADULTS IN HIS LIFE WHEN THIS WAS HAPPENING!!

ugh yeah, i know his solo comic is not the only case of this happening, but its why i avoided reading his solo for a while (and why i prefer the latter half of his solo and his yj comics instead). and why im glad thats one thing we left in the 90s. so okay this is about to get into some fucked up things and general ranting about completely unnecessary comics bullshit so tw: grooming, p*dophilia, SA

So yeah, as much as I love him and his comics, i do have a lot of criticism for his solo. (but there are a lot of issues i do like so ill try to make a list of my faves one day)

in his solo comics, kon dates this 23/24 yr old reporter named Tana, and later has this brief fling with a villain named Knockout. And kon's character is obviously meant to be the "cool teen" which i guess in the 90s meant being into older women. That, or the writer is pushing his weird fantasies onto him, which happens quite a lot with comics (Idk comic book romances are usually so weird to me they push for really strange stuff). At the same time though, there was a letter i read from a reader at the time that expressed concern over letting kon date older women, bc they were worried his feelings would get hurt, as well as question why no one has really taken kon under their wing, so there were definitely people in the 90s that thought that shit was weird as fuck. But I also saw a recent comment from a dude that didn't bat an eye at it which says a lot about that guy like come on dude we r in the 2020s :/

Anyways, the thing with Tana frustrates me because it was such a missed opportunity for an interesting female character of Hawaiian ethnicity and they could have easily made her Kon's age and make her like a member of the highschool's newsclub or something, but the writer had to fuck it up and make it weird...Kon can be uncomfortably flirty in this era of comics, but the fact Tana returns it and even acknowledges their age difference and still pushes for it is even more uncomfortable. She even says she feels more like his mom at one point and even reports on his school activities. I mean when Kon is first introduced, she expresses concern that the news outlet is just taking advantage of him bc he doesn't know any better, and her boss says she's doing the same, but then she grows to care more about kon as a person :/ She only breaks up with him after his operation that gets him stuck at 16 for a while, because she doesn't wanna date a dude that will never grow up or mature, which is fucked up to me bc he is 16 of course he's immature T-T

But at the same time, this was never weird to the writer's mind, so he writes Tana as being superboy's guiding figure that sort of helps him learn about morals and about being a person. So she's still very important to him, i just wish it didn't have to be so WEIRD.

(Tangent, and not at all exclusive to superboy comics, but I truly do hate how women in 90s comics, especially those that are not white, are treated as 'exotic' almost, and while Tana was wrong for dating a teen, i also blame the writer in the treatment of her character, even if there were other Hawaiian characters present that I did like like Sam and Hillary)

Of course, the Knockout situation is like 10x more fucked up, because Tana was at least kind and caring to him, but Knockout straight up manipulates him. This one is even more uncomfy so i'd skip over #23-31 (tw for SA) if you wanna avoid it, but it does affect Kon a lot after. I think the writer was trying to lean into the "rebel bad boy" schtick by making Kon get swept up by a hardcore fury. They do have other characters address the situation, but they point out that it's bad to hang with a villain and run from the law rather than point out how he's being taken advantage by someone older than him. In this arc, Mae Kent/Supergirl says he's unworthy of being a Super, and he almost believes it. The ending to this arc is really intense tbh, bc kon slowly realizes how wrong it all is after knockout tries to get him to kill a person. he goes to confront her and she literally attempts to SA him, but instead they have a showdown in which kon attempts to drown the both of them in order to stop her, before saving her instead because he can't kill her (he never kills and shows empathy towards his antagonists). he's clearly shaken up by it, but the comic writes that he's mostly shocked that people could ever act like that, again never explicitly saying that her being older or sexually using him was fucked up, just that her being a villain was fucked up. But this arc did serve to show kon fight for what’s right and show that he is worthy of being a super, and that he’s lost some of his innocence but not his faith in good

anyways, i highly doubt any of this will ever be addressed in canon, bc as time goes on with comics, side characters such as these fade away to the point where they might not even have played a part in a character's life, so who knows. not only that, but this sort of stuff is just casually thrown into comics in general and barely ever addressed again? id like to say its only a 90s thing but ive read some 2000s stuff with other characters have weird shit too.

i think the closest thing you're ever gonna get is this panel of serling, who is kon's age and probably the only love interest i actually kinda liked, telling kon that she understands the feeling of meeting someone who's seen and done it all (like say, an older person) and how exciting that can be for someone like her and kon who have never really experienced real life, only to realize that there's often something far darker underneath. again, not explicitly stated enough imo, but its there and does imply why Kon got so easily taken advantage of and that he does realize on some level that it was wrong . (i could be missing other panels that address it but idk i just remembered this one mostly)

So yeah, sorry for rambling. it's just a very messed up situation. i do think it's weird that none of the adults stepped in and watched out for him more, but at the same time, the writer clearly didnt see the need to.

i don't blame people for ignoring it or leaving it out in their canons, bc you can still explore the "being taken advantage of" from different angles that aren't as uhhhhh gross but yeah that’s that sorry for the rant 😭

At least his appearances in yj comics are much happier ☹️

[lesbianralzarek]

Greatly respect being obsessed with and theming yourself around a character that you don’t respect in the slightest

(the first part of my url is important here, lesbians will never respect their male blorbos gfhhjgfds)

oki oki ill defend him a bit here. it bothers me when people frame him as incompetent, when he is instead the mtg equivalent of tom from tom & jerry. tom can never fucking win, or the plot would fall apart

there was nothing wrong with his plan nor the execution of said plan in dragon’s maze, it just turned out to not be a race at all and instead require you to be the multiverse’s most powerful telepath to win. he got all the guilds to agree to a guild summit, but then the woman he thoroughly vetted ended up breaking it apart (isperia did deserve it tho, no disrespect for vraska). he designed a machine capable of suspending the laws that bind ravnica’s reality (laws that were put into place by an oldwalker) but i guess it doesnt count because dovin baan fuckin sabotaged it. he couldnt beat tezzeret because the machine that tezzeret did not even build himself made him immune to his magic

ral cannot win, because he has never been in a situation where that wouldnt derail everything. he couldnt beat jace because plot armor, he couldnt beat nicol bolas because fuckin obviously that would kinda ruin the next two novels (but also, yanno, hes bolas), and he couldnt beat tez because hes a main antagonist in the next story arc. i dont know why people act like hes an idiot, when the text plainly shows he really fuckin isnt. he just isnt allowed to win

which is honestly a lil bit funny ngl

[sirikenobi12]

War & the Jedi

This will be a long meta rant, FYI.

The Jedi Order, specifically the Prequel era Jedi Order, gets a lot of hate these days particularly regarding their involvement in the Clone Wars. Accusations are tossed at their feet constantly ranging from corruption all the way up to warmongering. 

Let’s first look at the Oxford English Dictionary definition of these two accusations, shall we?

Corruption - having or showing a willingness to act dishonestly in return for money or personal gain.

Warmonger - a person who encourages or advocates aggression towards other countries or groups.

The definitions of these two words are so very misunderstood when it comes to relation to the Jedi. If the Jedi are truly “corrupt” then where are the examples of their dishonesty for wealth or personal gain? In fact, I’d argue that canon (and Legends) makes a point to show us that it is the Sith who are in it for personal gain, not the Jedi. The Jedi have absolutely NOTHING to gain from this war on a personal level, in fact they are losing members in terrifying numbers.

The Jedi are also not advocating aggression towards the Separatists, in fact what we see instead is the Jedi DEFENDING against the Separatists. I have yet to see in either canon or legends an instance where the Republic forces invade a Separatist planet who doesn’t have an army or some military involvement (i.e. weapon factories). However, time after time we see the Separatists forcing peaceful planets who want nothing to do with them to either bow to their cause or die (i.e. Ryloth, Lurmen planet, Kiros, Mandalore) the Jedi and Republic Troops will then follow the Separatists to these planets, but they try to do what they can to liberate the planet from the Separaist invasion and then they give the planet the OPTION to join the Republic for safety and economic reasons, but they never force them, as is super evident with Mandalore.

Yet people don’t seem to see this and continue to drag the Jedi through the mud. 

Here are the top 5 other “woke” takes I hear - 

Jedi are peacekeepers and should not have gotten involved:

 First things first, let’s look at the definition of Peacekeeper - a soldier, military force, etc., deployed to maintain or restore peace. 

I’d argue by that definition the Jedi were still peacekeepers, it’s true that they weren’t a 3rd party as they normally were before the war, but their position was trying to maintain or restore peace. Peacekeeper is not the same thing as a Pacifist, the Jedi were skilled warriors (training from childhood to wield a lightsaber), the difference is Jedi used their skills for defense not attack which is what we constantly saw throughout the Clone Wars. 

With regards to the idea that Jedi “should not have gotten involved” I ask you then what exactly were they supposed to do instead?

 We see at the beginning of Attack of the Clones that the Jedi are worried things will escalate to war, they have obviously gone to the Chancellor hoping that a diplomatic solution can be presented to avoid bloodshed. Or if that isn’t possible then that the Republic have some way to defend themselves other than relying solely on the Jedi (i.e. an army). The Separatists are the ones pushing them to a breaking point, were the Jedi just supposed to stand back and let innocent people be invaded/killed because they didn’t want to get involved? The Jedi were “Guardians of Peace and Justice” which means it was their duty to help bring about peace in the galaxy while also enacting justice. 

Then after Geonosis (where they lost approx. 187 members mind you) they learned that the Sith are leading the Separatist army - the Jedi are duty bound by their code to fight the Sith, they had no choice but to join the war. 

So, I ask again...what were they supposed to do instead?

2.  Jedi used a slave army for their own purposes:

 Okay, I can (and probably will) write a whole argument based on just this accusation alone. There are so many fallacies I don’t even know where to begin but I’ll try. 

I guess my first question is the same as #1, what were the Jedi supposed to do instead with regards to the Clones? 

Technically speaking the Clones didn’t “belong” to the Jedi, they were “property” of the Republic (as stated by Lama Su in Attack of the Clones). In fact, the Jedi Council not only didn’t know about the order, they had vehemently denied Syfo Dias’ earlier request to raise an army in the first place. The Sith KNEW the Jedi would be against it, this was all part of their plan to trap the Jedi (as was EVERYTHING about the war) - they clouded the Force, they literally deleted Kamino from the Archives so the Jedi wouldn’t discover it until the Sith WANTED them to (i.e. Jango just happened to use a Kamino dart?? Come on people). Yoda even states “blind we are if creation of this clone army we could not see” he fully admits they missed it because the Dark Side was clouding their vision. 

Regardless, the army was created, there was no changing that fact. Had the Jedi not taken command of the army do you think the Clones wouldn’t have had to go to war? Do  you actually believe that the Republic who couldn’t get their citizens to give 2 craps about the war would’ve taken up the mantle and fought instead? Do you think if the Jedi were like “thanks, but we didn’t order this” that the Kamioans would’ve just let the Clones go free? 

The answer you’re looking for is...no. 

So, like absolutely everything about the Clone Wars the Jedi did the best they could with the cards they had been dealt. They chose to lead the army on the front lines, putting themselves in just as much mortal danger as the men they were leading. They even sent a member of the Jedi Council to oversee the creation of future clones/training to ensure they were being treated humanely (something the Kamioans thought was ridiculous). They were the first to tell the clones that they were individuals, they constantly put themselves in front of their men to protect them (i.e. season 7 Obi-Wan deflecting the rocket from blowing up his men). The Jedi did what they could, just because we didn’t see on screen Jedi stopping to grieve every time a clone died did not mean that they didn’t care - real life Generals can’t stop in the middle of a battle to grieve over their fallen soldiers either, so why is it we consider it a moral crime if the Jedi don’t?

Another thing I’ll add is once the Jedi had evidence that the Clones were actually ordered by Dooku, did they immediately stop and say “oh hell no, these flesh droids can’t be trusted, we should just have them decommissioned”?? NO! They defended the Clones, stating that they were good men and should be trusted (and look where that trust got them in the end).

The Jedi were forced/coerced to fight this war as much as the Clones were!! Why are we willing to forgive the Clones, but not the Jedi???

3. Ki-Adi-Mundi killing Geonosians was the same as Anakin’s slaughter at the Tusken camp: 

This is another moment where context is everything because there is a HUGE difference between Ki-Adi-Mundi on Geonosis and Anakin in the Tusken camp. The fact that I have to even spell it out makes me wonder how people can even dress themselves in the morning. 

The Geonosians were an opposing military force, attacking Ki-Adi and his troops. Anakin slaughtered unarmed women and children out of vengeance. 

Now, had Ki-Adi turned to his men and screamed “to the catacombs!” brandishing his lightsaber with a murderous glint in his eyes and proceeded to cut down the unarmed bugs below the battle then you’d have an accurate comparison on your hands and I’d be appalled right there with you.

But, as it stands this is not the same thing...not even close.

4. The Jedi sent children to war: 

So, this is a tougher one and I can even understand the concerns behind it, and I even share some of those concerns. The thing I will say to this is, given what we see throughout Star Wars, what constitutes a “child” seems to be different than our own real world definition. 

Padme, for example, was 14 when she was elected Queen, and she wasn’t even the youngest ever elected. She (and her handmaids) were trained as children to defend themselves and their people both politically and in battle (much like Jedi), but you don’t hear people condemning the people/traditions of Naboo the way we see the Jedi being condemned for theirs.

Jedi children arguably mature faster than your standard person, and with regards to Star Wars there are also species’ age ranges to keep in mind. Grogu for example is still a baby at age 50, could it be possible that Ahsoka at age 14 is on the same maturity level as a human in their early twenties due to her Togruta DNA?? We don’t know, it’s never stated other than Anakin saying something about because of her advanced skills he forgets how young she is. 

Obviously Boba Fett is treated like an adult by other Bounty Hunters - no one even questions when he picks up a job and is placed in charge of a group at age 12 or 13 (and he is placed in an adult prison without anyone questioning it). It could be that by law according to Star Wars that 13 is actually considered an adult. Throughout history (and in many different cultures) 13 was when people were considered to be “coming of age”, So, once again we’re placing our cultural biases onto a fictional space fantasy world without realizing it might not even be an issue in that world.  

But even beyond all of that I ask you again - what else should the Jedi have done? 

Their young Padawans would eventually have to grow into Jedi Knights, even before the war by the time they are teenagers they usually followed their Masters on missions (often very dangerous missions) in order to get real world experience. At the time of the Clone Wars the real world they were living in was one at war. If they hadn’t brought their Padawans onto the battlefield how else would they have learned how to strategize, or how to cope with the emotions of battle? They would’ve been ill prepared if the war had continued on for years and years as it had looked like it was going to do...once again, the Jedi had no real choice in this. 

5. The Jedi lost their way because of the war: 

Did they though?? I’d argue they actually didn’t. We first have to ask ourselves what is a Jedi - well, according to the very first time we hear any type of a description about a Jedi they are introduced as the “Guardians of Peace and Justice for the Republic” I don’t see how the war took that away from them. 

The Oxford definition of Guardian is a defender, protector, or keeper. I fail to see how the Jedi stopped being any of these things because of the war.

Here’s the bottom line, the Jedi’s biggest mistake was that they fell for a plot 1,000 years in the making. The Sith spent over a millenia perfecting/hatching this plan, there was nothing the Jedi could’ve done to prevent the war by the time the trap was sprung. As always, I’m not saying the Jedi were perfect (I hate that I have to always specify that when I argue that the Jedi were good), all I’m saying is they tried to do the most good that they could with the situation they fell into - few groups/characters can claim the same thing.

Everyone seems to forget that the Sith controlled BOTH SIDES to that war, there was nothing - absolutely NOTHING the Jedi could’ve done that would’ve changed or won that war. So, instead they saved as many innocent lives as they could and to me, that’s very Jedi. 

[archduchessofnowhere]

Ok I do have another take about the musical. This has been bothering me since forever. So you know the "sinking world" part in which Lucheni talks about different people connected to Elisabeth having met tragic fates during those years, like her brother-in-law Maximilian and her cousin Ludwig II? Well he also mentions her sister Marie, last queen of the Two Sicilies (or Naples if you prefer).

The only problem is that this is straight up false. Marie didn't went mad. In fact, she doesn't seem to have suffered from any sort of mental illness. It is mentioned in some of Elisabeth's biographies that "her sisters" also suffered from depression, and Marie tends to be included in this statement. However I haven't read any first nor second hand account that explicitly refers to Marie as being depressed (I'm not saying it's impossible tho, just that I haven't seen any evidence backing this up). For what we know, until her last years she kept the clarity of her mind. The US consul general in Munich during WWI met Marie and wrote in his memoirs that "Her Majesty had now reached her seventy-fifth year, but was still sound in body and mind", a grand-niece of Marie also said that "even at her age, she was in good health. No problems moving or walking. Her posture was perfect, and so was her memory" and "she read the newspapers in German, French and Italian. They were delivered to us in Munich a few times each week, and I recall her saving articles she felt were worth keeping".

My guess is that they mixed her up with Elisabeth's sister-in-law Charlotte who did have a mental break down from which she never recovered when she was only 26 years old. But still this is a really weird choice because Marie did fit pretty well into the "sinking world" that Lucheni is talking about. She was the consort of one the last absolute monarchs of Europe until they were deposed when she was only 19 years old, and she lived in exile for the rest of her life. They should've either mention that she was deposed, or had Charlotte in this part instead of her.

[buckyownsmylife]

hold up - andy barber fluff

The one where Andy gets you pregnant but you’re young and haven’t been dating for long.

Warnings:  Age gap (Divorced!Andy w/ College!Reader, so she’s legal), pregnancy, light angst, supportive!Andy, mentions of abortion, fluff, mentions of smutty thoughts so I don’t think I advise minors to read this, AU! where Jacob is alive and in college and Laurie and Andy are divorced, minor medical scare from Andy’s confusion, miscommunication that leads to slightly asshole!Andy but it’s quick A/N: Special thanks to @navybrat817​ and @angrythingstarlight​ for helping me choose this collage. This fic was requested a while back. I ended up focusing more on the fact that the reader was younger than Andy (which wasn’t even part of the request) than on the fact that they hadn’t been dating for long, mostly because in my mind, this was happening in the same universe as this fic. Hope you guys like it and respect the reader’s decision to keep the baby the same way you should respect it if she decided to abort it or give it up for adoption. 

Andy’s P.O.V.

Another day, another case, another headache. Working in law gets more tiring every day, and yet I persisted. Even through a divorce and its subsequent complications, I persisted. Sometimes, I forgot why.

I missed the days I remembered why I got into law in the first place. Those idyllic mornings, when I still thought I could change the world. Now all I wanted to do was to get home and eat my girlfriend’s pussy until she passed out from pleasure.

Just the thought of her sweet cunt had me licking my lips as I drove back to my place, wishing I could stop by hers instead. It still weirded me out that I was now in a relationship with someone that was my son’s age, someone who was still in college, but then I remembered all the moments we shared and was overcome with the realization that I simply didn’t want to let her go.

I knew it was selfish of me, but I believed I deserved at least this good thing in my life after my separation. As long as she wanted me, I wouldn’t let her go. And I was pretty sure that if she decided to leave me, I’d still fight for her to stay.

I loved her. I loved her enough to get through the hazard that was coming clean about our relationship to Jacob. I loved her enough to dream about a future together, even if it looked too far away for now. 

Still, I’d caught myself daydreaming about coming home to her more and more these days. It seemed that the more exhausted I was, the more I wanted her to be waiting for me when I crossed the apartment’s door, and I found myself thinking about buying a ring too many times for someone who had gone through such a lousy divorce and was dating a girl who still had college exams to worry about.

I knew our future together - if there even was one - was still too far, but I couldn’t help but want it now. Like, right now. So the fact that I wouldn’t be able to see her for another week or so while she prepared for finals was the closest thing to hell I could go through right now.

Which only made the sight of her by my apartment’s door that much sweeter. “Baby girl, what are you doing here?” Not even giving her the chance to explain, I pulled her into a needy kiss, desperate to taste her again.

I didn’t even notice that, in my eagerness to have her in my arms once more, I had dropped my briefcase and coat on the floor, opting to pay attention to the girl I held in the middle of the hallway.

I only saw the tracks of tears in her beautiful face when I released her, too. Immediately, my heart started to pound against my chest. Could something bad have happened to her? Was she hurt?

Cradling her face in my hands, I automatically started to wipe away her tears. “What’s going on, sweetheart? Why are you crying?” For whatever reason, my words only served to cause her crying to become more frantic, her sobs breaking out of her chest freely now.

My heart felt heavy at the sight of her that desperate. The urgent need to do something, to help her, but not knowing what could be done made my throat feel like it was closing. So I did the first thing I could come up with - I picked her up, not caring about my personal belongings at all as I managed to open the door and take her to the couch with me. 

“Shh… It’s alright, baby girl. I’m right here with you. Just tell me what happened, I’m sure I can help you somehow.” Again, it seemed like it was the wrong thing to say. My words took her to the verge of a panic attack if her breathing pattern was anything to go by, so I bit my tongue and focused on what I knew I could do at that very moment to help her, even if it was very little. I pulled her even closer to me, so her head was resting on my chest, and softly cradled her while rubbing her arm with one hand, while the other played with her hair. “I love you,” I repeated, over and over again. “You’re okay.”

It took some time, much longer than I hoped for, but at last her sobs started to come in bigger intervals, her breathing becoming deeper again. Slowly, she started to calm down and focus on me, and I waited until she was ready to speak, terrified of making her start crying again by pushing her to share what had caused such a terror.

“I went to the doctor today,” she started, and if at first my mind drew a blank because I had in no way anticipated this to be the start of her explanation, my heart quickly started to pound against my chest when I managed to process what she had said. 

Was she sick? I knew she had been feeling a bit under the weather recently, even throwing up some mornings, but I thought it was a bug that had been going around. She was in college, after all, and those environments were filled with bacteria, just waiting to spread any sort of illness they could provoke.

Was it something serious? For her to be that way, it had to have been. My hands started to sweat at the prospect of losing her. Automatically, I held her tighter, in desperate need to hear more but terrified of what was coming our way.

But she didn’t seem able to say it, whatever it was. Her eyes that had finally connected to mine since she started crying, suddenly fell down to her own hands, and her sniffles warned me that she had started to cry again.

“Y/N…” I begged, covering her hands with mine. “Princess, please, please talk to me. I’m going crazy here, sweetheart. I feel like I might pass out any second now.” Surprisingly, that granted me a giggle, and then, through sniffles and tears, she finally looked up at me again.

Y/N’s P.O.V.

I didn’t know how to drop this bomb on Andy. How do you tell your much older boyfriend, who already has a child who’s your exact age, that you’re pregnant with his kid? I was terrified. Terrified that he wouldn’t want anything to do with me anymore, that he would try to force me to get an abortion.

Terrified that I would have to do this alone.

But I had to tell him. Of course, I had. So taking one last deep breath, I squeezed the hand that was holding mine before confessing, in the bluntest possible way, since it was the only one I could come up with right now, “I’m pregnant.”

I don’t know what I was expecting. I hadn’t actually had the time to figure out how to tell him the news - hence my blurting in the simplest possible way - but that also meant I hadn’t really imagined any outcome for this. I had a lot of fears, of course, but no actual expectation. Still, Andy’s reaction managed to catch me by surprise.

At first, there was nothing at all. He just sat there, his huge hands still covering mine as he stared at me with a blank expression in his face. My heart pounded in my chest, and I could even hear it, amidst the silence in the room. Then, out of nowhere, he pounced on me, effectively knocking me back on the couch when he captured my lips with his. 

I couldn’t catch my breath as he enthusiastically devoured me, his hands cradling my face and caging me in as he forced me to make out with him on his sofa, like two teenagers after school. Andy was such a great kisser that it was hard for me not to melt against the soft cushions, instinctively opening my legs further so he could fit perfectly between them.

The way his strong body made me feel when it was covering mine was precisely what had got us in this mess, in the first place.

“Andy…” I tried to speak and push him away, but he was still kissing me desperately, opting for quick pecks around my face since I didn’t let him deepen his kiss again. “Andy!” I admonished when he continued to ignore me, choosing to suck tiny little bruises from my jaw down to my neck, instead. 

“Baby, I’m terrified over here. Can you please stop trying to distract me and tell me what you’re thinking?” That caught his attention. He finally reduced his kisses, slowly going back to his seating position on the couch and bringing me with him, laying me over his lap again.

“I’m sorry, sweetheart. It’s just… I’m so fucking relieved. First, I thought you’d break up with me. Then, since you talked about going to the doctor’s, I thought something was wrong with you. I was desperate, baby girl. Desperate. I figured, one way or another, I was going to lose you. And I don’t want to lose you.”

Hearing what was going on through his mind while I struggled to figure out how to explain what was happening made my heart feel heavy with guilt. I guess that, in the state I was in I kind of thought he would have realized what I was going to say, or simply not anticipate any sort of information whatsoever, so to hear that his mind jumped to these worst-case scenarios was heartbreaking to me.

“You’re not gonna lose me,” I assured him, reaching out for his hand and squeezing it in a small show of support. “I’m right here. But we need to figure out how we’re going to do this.” Andy blinked a few times before managing to voice his confusion.

“Do this what?” And then it was my turn to be confused.

“This… kid. What are we gonna do about this?” I watched as his nostrils flared, his grip on me momentaneously hardening, before he managed to get his emotions in check through a long exhale.

“You’re not seriously considering aborting my child, right?” The question - the tone - was like a slap to the face. In all honesty, that option had never even crossed my mind, but the way he was saying it, like I had no say in the matter, killed me inside.

“I’m gonna give you the time to figure out what the hell is wrong with you. I know that this is a pretty overwhelming situation and I just sprung this on you, but that is no excuse to address me in such a manner. Especially if you consider just how much I’m the one who’s really going to have my entire life turned upside down because of this.”

Andy’s P.O.V.

I groaned as I watched her leave the room in the direction of the bathroom, knowing this was her way of letting me know I shouldn’t look for her until I was prepared to apologize. But I was already ready. I knew how terrible my words had sounded, but it came from a place of love and happiness with the situation other than possessiveness. 

So, with that in mind, I rubbed my face before getting up and following her, just in time to find her reentering my bedroom. “I’m sorry, princess. I-I just didn’t know how to react when the thought of you getting an abortion popped into my mind. It’s not like you’re a fucking one night stand or a fling to me, but you’re absolutely right. It’s your body and you should do what makes you comfortable. I just ask you to keep in mind that I would love to have this child with you. I’d support you - I’d support the both of you unconditionally. I know we’ve only been dating for a few months, but I’m serious about you. I’m serious about us. I’d marry you tomorrow if it’s what you need to know how serious I really am about this. And yeah, it’s gonna be hard, but I’m here for you. I’m always gonna be here for you, every step of the way.”

By the time I was done with my speech, she had tears in her eyes again, only this time, I knew what it was about, so I only chuckled. “Come here, sweetheart.” I pulled her to me, hugging her close to my body as I caressed the back of her head. “We’re gonna be okay, one way or another.”

“You sure you’re not just gonna abandon me with a small child?” I knew that her question came from a place of insecurity, but I still couldn’t control myself as a growl escaped my chest, my hands tightening around her, as I reminded her, “You’re mine, baby girl. I’m never gonna leave you. Don’t even think that.”

Slowly, she stopped crying, until only a few sniffles were heard every once in a while. “Okay,” she mumbled in a small voice, clearing the bedroom from what was once a silent atmosphere.

“Okay?”

“Okay, let’s do this. Let’s… Let’s have a baby together.”

A huge smile slowly took over my face as I cradled hers in mine to make sure there was no trace of hesitation in her eyes. “We’re gonna be parents?”

“We’re gonna be parents,” she confirmed, accepting my hug again. “Well, you’re already a parent.” The reminder had me chuckling to myself.

“I can’t wait to tell Jacob about this. He’s going to flip.” The mischievous tone in my voice earned me a playful slap on the shoulder. 

“No teasing him more than necessary, Andrew. He’s already going to be pretty affected by this.”

“Can’t make any promises.”

[freddiefiction]

Anon, fuck off and do something productive with your life instead of crying on the internet about Freddie Mercury’s toxic ex. You’re just embarrassing yourself at this point, sweaty 💜

But for the sake of entertaining your points:

Multiple people have acknowledged Jim as Freddie’s boyfriend. Including Brian May, Phoebe Freestone, Peter Straker, Thor Arnold, and even Mary herself. Joe Fanelli’s comment to Jim about not seeing him as Freddie’s boyfriend was, according to Shaun Matthews who grew close to the GL boys while helping them move out, referring to the early days of Freddie and Jim’s relationship when Freddie was playing the field and not that committed. It was when Freddie became ill that Phoebe and Joe realised how much he meant to Jim, because Jim stayed and helped nurse him. Jim was not a “servant.” None of them were “servants.” Freddie considered them family and Jim his husband. Have some damn respect.

Mary was not abandoned. As soon as Freddie was gone, she felt no need to pretend that she cared about any of his family and friends anymore, and cut them all off. This included Freddie’s parents, who were very upset because they considered her a daughter-in-law. She then had the audacity to go to the tabloids and complain that she was abandoned because everyone was “jealous” of her. She did this not once, but twice. Yet multiple people have refuted this, saying they tried to contact her and she didn’t want to know. Hell, Jim contacted and visited her after Freddie’s death and even sent her a postcard while he was on holiday. But she ghosted him. Now she’s a miserable hermit, and has no one to blame but herself.

Show me evidence that the article where Mary said she didn’t want men with AIDS around her son is fake. I know tabloids are unreliable, and I take the story with a pinch of salt, but it seems to be that nearly every interview Mary gives has homophobic/seraphobic undertones to it. She literally refers to Freddie’s coming out as “he became a gay,” and “he decided he was gay.” Good luck trying to convince me she wasn’t homophobic, lmao.

You’re right, Mary never wrote a book. She ran to the tabloids and trashed Jim instead. Saying that she “wasn’t threatened by Freddie and Jim’s relationship because it wasn’t a heterosexual one, and she couldn’t be threatened by something she didn’t understand.” Mary also bashed the band, saying they didn’t deserve their share of the royalties from Innuendo and said all Freddie’s friend used him, except her. Jim, on the other hand, refused to bash Mary in interviews when prompted and even said in his book that he believed she didn’t mean to be malicious and he would be there for her if she needed him. But I’m guessing you’ve never actually read the book and are just vomiting up nonsense you’ve read on Quora.

“Mary wasn’t jealous.” That’s the funniest thing I’ve ever heard. Hate to break it to you, but people who constantly play the victim and act like everyone dislikes them purely out of jealousy, are usually shitty people who are jealous themselves.

If you want to kiss Mary’s ass, that’s your business. But if you’re going to fill our inboxes with bullshit, at least get your facts straight first.