#I guess I'm back to posting a single thing to this blog because I wanted to share this here...

[hiomaika]

[soaps-mohawk]

I'm so sorry to everyone that I freaked out with the last post, I was trying so hard not to 😭 I have that like instant fear as soon as I see "we need to talk" or something in the same vein. I always think it's something bad.

This isn't bad, at least depending on how your perspective I guess.

So...I'm having thoughts about CRCB in October. I planned out posting schedules for Kyletober and CRCB and my Patreon stuff and it's going to basically be a post every day, sometimes multiple in multiple places.

That's a lot.

So, I am set on doing Kyletober since all of the fics are already written, but I was planning on continuing CRCB during October as well. But...I think I need a little break from CRCB. It's been about eight months of posting almost every single week and it's been a lot. I'm struggling with chapters right now and with work it's vastly limiting the time I have to write and focus on things and I'm kind of burning out right now.

So, what I wanted to discuss was potentially putting CRCB on hold for October while I focus on Kyletober and everything involved with that. Trying to do both is a lot and I'm not sure I can handle all of it, plus life, plus work.

I was planning on not necessarily putting CRCB on hold, but doing more of a "whenever I can/am inspired" random posting chapters kind of like I did in the beginning when I first started writing the fic, in November/December because those are very busy months and I will be dead tired from work and just general life.

I think I might still do that for November/December and possibly into the new year since there's no way the fic will be finished even if I posted every week until the end of December.

BUT

That's something I'll think about and make a decision on later.

Right now, my thought is...would you hate me if I put CRCB on pause in October? IF I do, I promise I won't end Chapter 39 on a cliffhanger. I wasn't planning on it anyway, but I promise I won't end it on a cliffhanger if I decide not to post any chapters in October.

That way if I do put it on pause, then I can not focus on it for a bit and give my brain a refresh, and I can also focus all my energy on Kyletober.

So yeah, it's going to be a lot doing both at the same time, and honestly I'm ready for a little break from CRCB. It's been going for a long time and it's a lot of words to get out in a week. I've been super stressed lately and I'm just struggling a lot trying to get through chapters.

So yeah. That's basically the dilemma here and the discussion to be had. I know y'all will tell me it's my blog and I can do whatever I want, but I would like opinions on it. Are y'all okay with me putting CRCB on hold to focus on Kyletober? Then pick it back up for probably just whenever I can chapter updates for the rest of the year? In January things will calm down and I'll have more time to relax and write and maybe get close to finishing the story. Plus I know a lot of my readers will be busy the next three months with the holidays and vacations and family and school and all of that, so you won't have to worry about getting behind and having to catch up with a bunch of chapters.

So...let me know...

[myfandomrealitea]

Your post regarding specifc places for things and some places dont need a vent channel it helped me realise that the people i follow online were damaging to my health. They were constantly sharing real people who died horrifically and saying things like "if you dont share you're supporting violence " while i only joined social media to view art.

I actively speak about real life events offline with my family, we always talk about whats happening in the world once a week and mention anything new within the local and worldwide news. I didn't understand why social media was worsening my mental health around these topics since i could speak about it in real life with my family. i assumed i was horrible for simply not wanting to see it online, When your post about a safe space came up i realised why it made me feel so bad, the artists i followed no longer were posting art and were just constantly sharing news daily about horrific events. It became inescapable and i was unknownly doomscrolling for hours on social media while hoping to see art (that just made me feel bad viewing after seeing so much death) , my only escape was going offline. I already made new accounts just for art and Im so thankful for your post since i did avoid everything that was about real world events since the account is only for art and i feel so much more.. i guess happier.. but definitely more mentally healthy if that makes sense? It felt like my mind was drained or foggy when scrolling through social media, and i wasnt actually paying attention before but now its a lot more, clear, healthy and positive. Im able to think properly and actually pay attention and appreciate the good things online

I'm so glad I was able to help you on your journey to bettering your wellbeing. Its an aspect of why I run this blog and talk about the things that I do.

So very often people don't actually register or realize what parts of their lives are causing stress. They attribute it to 'working too much' or 'not sleeping enough' without realizing that there are direct causes for things like not sleeping enough. And I'm not saying every single part of life comes back to activism, but very often we don't even realize how much negativity and forced awareness we're exposing ourselves to.

I used to religiously follow accounts on Instagram which posted about animal abuse. Other than a handful of celebrities my Instagram feed would be the most graphic videos you could imagine of people hacking into live dogs with axes, boiling cats alive in huge vats of water, jockeys tearing at horse's mouths until their teeth were loose and they were leaving a trail of blood as they walked the winner's circle.

I used to think if I wasn't constantly forcing myself to acknowledge that these things were happening, if I wasn't constantly reminding myself the extent at which these things happen, I was a bad person. I wasn't a real animal lover. If I truly loved animals why wasn't I sharing these videos? Why wasn't I sitting there with thousands of other people acknowledging what animals go through while I sit comfy at home doing nothing?

It got the point where I'd be throwing up constantly, I refused to sleep because I was terrified of the nightmares and my hands would shake as I opened up the Instagram app because I dreaded what I'd see today.

It wasn't helping me. It wasn't helping the animals. I'm just as aware now of what animals go through without having to see any of it.

But now, I have the wellbeing to actually devote myself to meaningful activism. Not just tormenting myself to no outcome. Now, I have the willpower and the energy to sign petitions and do research and take steps in my own life to better the welfare of the animals in my care.

Now I can sleep at night and wake up well-rested with the energy and the motivation to do things both for myself and for other people. Now, I can scroll Instagram and leave polite, correctional comments on misguided videos about animals. Now I have the knowledge to devote my attention and my efforts to where it actually makes a difference and changes animal's lives.

It is such, such a hard thing to drag yourself out of. We're so conditioned into thinking suffering shared is suffering lessened. We're so conditioned into believing that by spamming words anywhere we can we are the direct cause of change.

Its a hell of a learning climb. A steep one. But I genuinely believe the world would be better off for learning and changing as we both had the courage to.

[ohnomytummy]

Hi, I have a story from this Thanksgiving that I thought this community would like, and I don't have a kink blog to post it to so I'm gonna share it here cause I know your box is always open. Lol

I'm relatively thin, severely underweight for a good chunk of my childhood, have always been poor so I've never gotten to indulge too much in feasting, not in this economy. But long backstory short, I had the house to myself for pretty much 4 days straight for Thanksgiving break, along with all the leftover food from the entire family thanksgiving.. I was asked to toss most of it because we didn't have room in the fridge and it would go bad, but I didn't want any of it to go to waste.. you can probably tell where his is going..

I have a pretty sensitive stomach since I get full pretty quick, and I'm also lactose intolerant and most meat makes me gassy (and sweaty for some reason?), but for some reason none of that mattered to me, I put a YouTube series I've been itching to watch on my phone and munched on everything that was in front of me which included:

-almost half of a turkey that had been sitting out on the table for a day

-a platter of cheese and cube/slice things and pepperoni/some other meat I forgot

-I wanna say maybe 20 small sugar cookies (the puffy Walmart ones with frosting)

-about 2 litres total of a miz of lemonade, sprite, ginger ale, and coca cola

- 5 bread rolls with melted cheese and butter

-uncounted handfuls old candy I still had from Halloween....

I didn't even realize I'd been eating so much, but I guess since it was all over the course of about a day (9 hours-ish?) It was gradual enough that I didn't realize I'd gone overboard until the end. I remember reaching for the next thing getting ready and thinking "wow i wonder how much ive eaten" and seeing that the answer was all of it. I was wearing an elastic tank top, and I looked down and holy shit I looked pregnant. The tank top is kind of long but there was maybe an inch of belly sticking out from underneath naturally, and the tank top itself was like vacuum sealed tight to my skin!

This is where stuff gets crazy. I put my hand on my stomach to rub it and I could feel it churning under my hand, from the inside ofc and through my belly. I'd been burping throughout the whole stuffing absent-mindedly, but now that it was all setting in, I felt like I was going to puke. I couldn't even feel nauseous at first, it was just PAIN in my middle and I could barely get up. I'm so glad I was alone because I was moaning and rubbing my belly with both hands, holding it as I tried to get up. I could feel myself bringing up burps with every exhale, they were like.. soft and quiet but also really deep and sick, coming out with every breath, like "... urrrrrrp.. hic-hurrrrrp... uurppp. ur-urrp... hic-hUuuurrrrrrrrrp..." and with groans after each one lmao. I made my way to the bathroom eventually and sat by the toilet, sure I was gonna be sick, but I wasn't. I almost wanted to be, but I think I was just too scared to puke. So I sat back against the tub, facing the toilet, my whole body was covered in a cold sweat atp and i was rubbing my belly, and I could feel every single rumble as it ripped through my stomach and rose up as a belch. I couldn't stop burping like I was just about crying on the bathroom floor, bloated as a tick, belching helplessly. After a few minutes the burps started slowing down, but they were much more wet when they did come up. I think the meat and lactose was probably digesting now because I actually started to feel queasy. I started holding in my burps in fear that the food might come up, but then the air started xoming out the back. Starting with small short toots, leading to nauseous farts that, much like the burps, WOULDNT STOP. I was uncontrollably farting, small short bursts every few seconds and idk how to describe it but the farts felt pukey somehow. My stomach was churning like crazy and I could hear it from the outside (still felt intense as I rubbed it too). All the while the original belches never really stopped, so I was just on the floor, gas from both ends pouring out. My stomach was so hard and tight it felt like a bowling ball attached to me and my shirt was so tight it was so hot in hindsight but I felt like I was dying in the moment. Anyways I eventually fell asleep on the floor, woke up feeling sick, burped and farted next to the toilet again and tried doing the doggy-style yoga pose (best that I could, anyways, with my bloated upset tummy still filled with rotting undigested Thanksgiving leftovers) and kept farting until out of nowhere I almost shat myself, I think the position I was in moved the air along but the air took some stuff with it, so now I had to abandon that and sit on the toilet with a trash bin next to me because I couldn't fit it between my legs (my tummy took up the room lol) and it was mostly just me being sick from both ends, along with super uncontrollable rumbly burps and farts that just would not ever fucking stop.

Once it was all out things went back to normal, other than me being really gassy for a few more days.

I will let my uh *cough* community have this 😳🥵

[prin-does-art]

Stucky Comic Snippet Pt 3

Don't even bother, Steve! Hi I'm back, and as you can see I'm not immune to the cliché of someone knocking on the door at just the right time. Sorry to keep you waiting, but here's the disappointing part: this snippet actually just ends here. I started making it as an exercise, to start getting comfortable with drawing digitally, so I just thought of a cool scene in my head that I wanted to see, and made it. I do plan on making some more snippets and comics regarding these two (and also other original characters) that I have a storyline for, only this snippet isn't part if it, or at least I wasn't able to fit it in yet. Thing is, like I mentioned in a previous post, I'm thinking if I should make my style simpler so I can pop more of these out, because it takes me a really long time to make "just 3" of this pages, or if I should just keep it like it is. I know I'm only one person and not a team, but alas, I guess this blog will end up being a series of snippets that I'll do my best to put in chronological order. I even thought of uploading somewhere else for that, but anyway, that's for another time. On the meantime, thank you so much for every single one of you who liked my posts, but especially those who commented or reblogged with their thoughts! I really really appreciate each and every single one of you, and it motivates me to keep doing what I'm doing. If you have any questions, feel free to send me an ask or comment and I'll be happy to answer! Or, you can comment who you think is knocking on the door and why :D Anyway hope you're doing well! 💖

[wispscribbles]

hi i just discovered your beautiful art so i obviously needed to scroll down your whole blog to catch up on everything you posted haha

i just wanted to say that i got way too emotional after reading that post of yours regarding mw3 and your mental health… on one hand i’m so sorry that you felt that way, but on the other i feel it with my whole heart

ghoap content especially for me helped me these past few months with my mental health in ways i would never have expected, it was my solace and inspiration, i started working out too and got back into drawing, got a lot better at it as well!

but unfortunately i get way too fixated on fictional stuff and there comes a time that my brain switches up and connects the things i liked and comforted me with things that make me extremely uncomfortable and stressed out, especially if i fall down a fandom rabbit hole that i would never have searched up, beacuse i know myself, i know my limits and triggers but i feel like i’m not a part of the fandom if i don’t like and interact with every single headcanon, art and ship

these past days i was really down because of that, and the things i read (why did i do that???) and now when i think of ghoap i think of that stuff and im scared that i alienated myself from the one thing that made me happy

but discovering your art and with that your post reminded me that im not alone in these feelings, even if it’s not the same exactly, and i wanted to thank you, for sharing your thoughts that time i guess haha <33

((sorry for rambling))

Long reply under 'keep reading' !! CW: talk of triggers and MCD

Always feel free to ramble my way!!! How nice you could find some comfort in my art and ghoap stuff. Especially in my mw3 post. I've been considering deleting it a few times, but hearing it maybe helped to read in some way makes me happy I left it up.

I get where you're coming from - I very much use these fictional characters as a safe space, but ppl view them very differently. There's room for it all, "don't like, don't interact" is very much a policy I agree with. It's important to mute words and be aware of your own triggers as you browse stuff in this fandom, because there's such a wide variety of stuff out there. You do NOT have to interact and agree with every thought people have on this ship, that's impossible and super stressful. There's plenty of stuff and headcanons I don't vibe with. There are no 'requirements' that you have to meet in order to enjoy fiction.

It's part of why I enjoy ghoap - that their dynamic resonates and has sparked so much creativity and outlets for so many - but it also means there's gonna be a lot of stuff u don't necessarily agree with or feel comfortable with. For example, a lot of folks use the MCD in mw3 as a way to explore grief, which I think is really cool, but on a bad day that could potentially get my brain in a bad headspace, so I only check out that art and those fics when I feel okay. There's also a bunch of stuff I'd never want to interact with, and that’s fine !!

I'm personally quite vanilla and a sucker for exploring the softer, more domestic aspects of these characters. It's what brings me joy. I know there are parts of this fandom who don’t vibe with what I make at all, and would call it untrue to the characters. Some creators enjoy exploring the more violent or toxic sides to the source material. That's just how it is, we all need different things from fiction. As long as we're capable of chilling in our respective sandboxes, then all's good.

But if you're like me, and enjoy the softer things, then definitely be aware and careful while exploring this ship and fandom. I've seen takes on these characters that are so far removed from how I view them, that they're basically the complete opposite, and it can leave a very bad taste, especially if you're the type to hinge your safe space on fiction.

Just... be mindful of yourself and your potential triggers, be respectful and don't interact with things that make you uncomfortable to the point of feeling unsafe. Shape your own online experience to your best ability.

Hope you're doing okay and still find joy in ghoap <3

[darkkitty1208]

on fic writing and fandom: where am i going forward?

So. It's a bloody dull Friday and I'm writing this post--have been meaning to, for a while--because I can't stop thinking about it. It's just a few (a lot, actually) thoughts I've had in my mind the past few days that I've decided to spill into a single post, which turned out far longer than it needed to be, but nothing too important. Under the cut.

I've been a fanfic writer for a while now. Not a long time by any means, but a while nonetheless. My first fic--which is now orphaned like a few of its brothers for undisclosed reasons, though if you're an og you might be able to guess why--was dated back to the 18th of November 2021. 3 years later and I've got a humble 89 works and counting (the orphaned works and unposted wips unincluded). I can safely say I've improved quite a lot since then.

Where are you going with this, then, Kitty? Surely you aren't here just to brag about your writing progress?

Well. Not exactly. But I'll start with this: I guess what I'm trying to say is I've lost the spark.

You know. The old feeling. That boost of serotonin you get after you finish a piece you're proud of, or when you get lovely reviews on ao3, or when you get a kudos email, or a new mutual, or some wild tags under your silly post. The spark. I haven't felt it in a long time, now. The last time it's been so palpable was... I'm not sure. Probably last year's October. That was a lot of fun. I was most prolific in fic writing, that year. It shouldn't feel like a long time ago. Because it wasn't.

Don't get me wrong. I love all this. All that's going on right now. The comments I'm getting--even if fewer than I had before--and all the other interactions, I appreciate and enjoy and love them so, so much. And writing my newer fic projects are well exciting. But it just isn't the same anymore. I'm afraid it never will be.

(Maybe it has something to do with the lack of interactions lately. Maybe? I don't really know, either. I'm sure we're all well aware the fandom is past its peak, and with the current developments in the MCU I am frankly unsurprised, but I dunno.)

I guess that's part of the reason I've been less active lately. I've been inactive as a whole this year, admittedly, and disappearing far too often for far too long (and I notice some of my friends are, too). I just didn't get the same joy from being in a fandom like I had when I first started this blog, or my ao3 account.

In hindsight, I've probably been a little too dependent on fandom to provide me serotonin. The past few years have been hard, the years before that, too. Life just keeps kicking me in the arse time and time again. I guess I've been using fandom and fic writing as a coping mechanism, and once I've had my fill, the joy dies off to something a little more dull. Like a gum I've been chewing for too long that the sweetness has since worn off.

Honestly? I don't want it to be this way. I want to live without being so dependent on my presence online. I want to live without only knowing joy through internet interactions. I've got to learn to. It sounds silly, but it's true. (I think I may be slightly chronically online, oh no. x'D)

So naturally my first instinct is to distance myself a little. I contemplated quitting, but I can't do that. I don't see myself ever doing that, no matter how many times my brain convinces me that I might.

When this year started, I had set some goals for writing. One of them was to write for more whumptober prompts than I did last year or complete them all. I did like 21 prompts or something last year. Of 31. Within a little more than a month. While still balancing all the life stuff I had going on. This is, if not obvious, an extremely ambitious goal. I am not insane. I don't know what I was thinking. I can't possibly do that now, can I? Not with all the stuff that's been happening.

...

Can I?

...

Yeah, no. Definitely not.

See, that's another thing: writing. Probably the thing I'm trying to get at in this post but otherwise derailed completely from. Fuck my brain.

I'm sure many of you have noticed that I've been writing significantly less. I still post, obviously, but not as much as like, last year when the number of works I had went from a few to far too much. That had helped me improve quite a lot, actually, but those days I barely slept because I just insisted to replace my sleep time with Writing Shit For The Gays. It was pretty unhealthy now that I look back at it. My sleep schedule is still shit now but, yk. Some things just never change.

I was really, really caught up on wanting to be good at writing. Like, really good. I wanted to make awesome things. I wanted to write like a real fucking pro. Like all the more popular fandom authors I look up to. I want to be like the big dogs in fandom. It sounds so silly. I did everything; sprinting daily, setting a minimum of 500 words writing sessions every day, trying new writing styles, churning out works after works, writing for prompts and events and gifts and the like. I was enjoying it, yes, but was it really something I did for myself? Or was it because I wanted to please other people or impress other people for their validation, which is something I'm entirely too dependent of? Was it for the numbers?

Well. It was more for that than for me, I realised a little too late.

So yeah. Fuck wanting to be good. I want to write for the hell of it. I want to write something that's for me. Not what the majority of the fandom or other people want to read, but for me. Which is why I absolutely loved writing works like just a matter of time, how to kill a god, or how to become a god, because they're not meant for other people but myself. (Ironically that last work is a gift but, yk. I still liked it.) I know I joke about self-projecting a lot, but it's been seriously helping me rediscover the joy of writing that doesn't come from the incessant need to be good or perfect or focus on producing more and more and more. It makes me feel like a kid again. Also, I'm only realising this now but I'd rather get like 5 people who enjoy reading my works so much and express them to me rather than 100 people who silently thumbs up at me and then go away to consume another fic or demand more. (All this to say I still love interactions, it just shouldn't be my no. 1 priority to get them when writing fanfics.)

But yeah. None of those works are perfect. They're not meant to be. But they're mine. They're me. They represent me. And it's so, so great to feel that in writing. I've been so stuck up on being some sort of content machine. I'm doing this for myself, how could I forget? I've been saying this since the beginning, I don't know why I'm still struggling to do it. God. It's ridiculous.

Anyway. That's that. This has become a very long ramble. Thank you for listening to my Ted Talk. And for letting me waste your time, if you make it to the end of this post.

[margareth-lv]

🦹🏻‍♀️ Dreams come true or an unexpected superpower 🦹🏻‍♀️

As this is my fourth year in the fandom, it is perhaps an abuse on my part to use the term "newbie" in the description of my blog. This is my fourth year in the fandom, so I can't help but notice (with a sense of satisfaction) the strength, and perhaps even the superpower, that we have.

What we are writing here a moment later is what we have. And it's so obviously aimed at the fandom that there's no mistaking the interpretation. After all, who else but the fandom would associate a piece of dog's back with a 'flamboyant romance'? Or a piece of a sports shoe with the possibility of an epic sex session under a palm tree? *** *** ***

It would be fair to say that this bit of news from March 2022 was targeted at the general public:

Caitríona was at that time in the dying days of the Belfast publicity frenzy (and on the eve of the Oscars, which she didn't win). So yes, this one-off thing was aimed at a wider audience than just the fandom.

But a piece of dog fur in the background of a post about Cocumber Cowboy? 🤦🏻‍♀️

Who but a propaganda-driven fandom would have guessed that it was about a fiery romance with a very minor maiden?

And let us not forget that he published Cocumber Cowboy the day after Caitríona's father's funeral.

Now we've got athletic footwear to prove rough sex on a sunny island. And as we've been complaining that Sam only gets the chance to get laid when he goes overseas, his muscular new chosen one is from Glasgow. And since we've been bored to tears repeating that a single man wouldn't build a snowman or play with LEGO bricks, his latest female conquest is a single mother. You see: When we want something, we get it. We have superpowers as a fandom.

💪🏻

You know what? It looks like he has a gun pointed at his head again.

But for him to agree to play this paranoid game one more time, what do the TPTB have against him, against them?

And you're probably right, @2truthsandalie5 , There is a possibility that Caitríona may have cut her bangs again because she is once again out of control in their life.

But of course I'm delusional. And I know nothing.

[January 19, 2024]

[strangegutz]

Idk if you need to hear this or not or whatever but I like your art. All of it.

I love hearing about your ocs, seeing your drawings, and your dolls once you finish them! I don't know why a big chunk of your audience just... doesn't care about your drawings, but I hope you know that it ain't all right to me.

I think some people see you as this doll-creating machine when you're not. I think it's mostly because the attitude towards art and posting art online has been super tainted by tiktok and such. Viewing art as something to just look at for a moment rather than taking just a little more time to think about even just the work that goes into it.

Anyways I think you shouldn't have to take that, and you do not need to apologize for just making other art. It's your blog and you're a grown man, post whatever you feel like, if people really don't like that they can just kick bricks.

I guess I don't know you in full, but I guess you have posted about sometimes needing the money that comes from your art, so I suppose that sometimes it could be hard to apply the same mindset that an unemployed dropout that has the stability of their parents to support them has. But I guess I'm saying that it isn't right, people's attitude towards you sometimes.

Anon you're totally right, should say it, I do need to hear it, and I completely agree, and also hear everything u say in the back of my head.

Instead of an angel and devil on my shoulders I have "it's so over" and "we're so back" fairies and the "it's so over" one is really loud and makes me anxiety post online and apologize profusely for drawing beefy dudes when most people are just waiting for more orange slices LOL

I really don't have any ill will towards people that like one over the other (though I do feel relief when people prefer my OCs bc I'm thirsty for it) but it does make me sad when people straight up unfollow over it (that's why I tag things!) because I love them so much. And I get a tad frustrated when the dolls I really like are overshadowed by ones I really don't care for. That's just how it is on this bitch of an Earth, people will like what they like and can curate their experience however they want though. The frustration is personal and nobodies fault

I do assume that everyone is being fair and understands how much time art takes, but yeah some folks crawl out of the woodwork not realizing These Things Take Time. I can only go so fast, everything is sculpted and sewn by hand!

But yes, at the end of the day this is just straight up my art blog, and I post my art here. I appreciate every single set of eyes on my art, I'm thankful for love I get, and I am especially grateful to everyone that just wants to see whatever the hell I have to offer

[winteriron-trash]

pinned faq

hi, my name is roman. i used to be a semi-popular winteriron blog, but now this blog is mostly dead. so. rip, gone but not forgotten. but i still get some pretty common questions so here's a one-stop shop for most of them as well as links to the important things.

My Tumblr Fic Masterlist

My Ao3

My (dead) WinterIron Discord Server

Did you write the Tony Stark wifi tower fic?

yes, i wrote that fic! it is by far the most popular thing i've ever written and it will probably outlive me.

I found that fic on [insert site here], do they have your permission?

probably not, no. i have found that fic everywhere. and i mean everywhere. pinterest, wattpad, facebook, instagram, tiktok, mediachomp, and so on. honestly, it's been years and i can't control or chase down every single copy and i have no interest in doing so. i don't love that it was stolen from me (especially on for-profit sites) but it just is what it is. it's a fanfic rite of passage to have your stuff stolen, honestly.

can i do a translation/podfic/write something inspired by one of your fics/posts?

yes! there is always a blanket permission to do any sort of transformative work with my work, especially my older stuff. if it sparks joy and creativity in you, run wild with it. i prefer to be credited, but honestly, i'm just happy to see my stuff still inspiring people.

will you ever write winteriron/mcu fanfic again?

well, you should never say never. but in this case, you might want to say never. i have very little interest in winteriron or the mcu in general outside of nostalgia, and i likely will never write anything substantial for them again. it's sad, i miss it too, but i just don't have that spark for marvel these days. mostly i write dc comics fanfiction.

did you write [insert winteriron fic/post here]?

idk. maybe. probably. i wrote and posted a lot of things. you can scroll the tag on this blog to find all my old posts, some more popular than others. if you think it was me, chances are, it probably was. i got around a lot from like 2018 to 2020.

do you have a tagging system?

i used to but lord if i'm going to use it now. i don't even remember it, so your guess is as good as mine. tbh i just use tags as a place to ramble these days so navigating my blog is about as easy for you as it is for me. which is to say, it's not easy at all. because tumblr's search function is ass. i do know one of my old tags has my deadname in it. you'll probably find it if you look hard enough, but that is what it is.

are you going to revive this blog?

probably not consistently, no. if i have something i really want to say here, i'll say it, but i don't have much interest in maintaining this like i used to. i want to be able to, i miss posting here a lot, i just don't think it'll spark joy for me the way it used to, which sucks but that's just the way things go.

why did you leave this blog?

idk. life happened. i was an 18-year-old fighting chronic health conditions and mental health issues that led to me dropping out of high school so, tumblr sort of fell to the back burner, then got forgotten about entirely. eventually, i lost interest in the mcu as i felt the quality of it took a turn for the worst and i went back to dc, which i'm still into. i read some marvel comics, enjoy an occasional mcu project, but largely i just don't have the interest i used to. it sucks and i miss it, this blog probably kept me alive as a teenager. but now it's mostly just an archive of my past, and i'm okay with that.

can i talk to you/send you an ask/befriend you anyway?

sure, if you want, don't know if i'm good company though. but i'm always open to making friends and reminiscing about winteriron, marvel, and all that good stuff. i've gotta warn you though, tumblr fucking eats my DMs on this blog like no fucking business. i'm regularly fighting it. my discord is devilbonesofmetal if you wanna yell at me there, just say you're from tumblr.

[freetobeafcknriot]

Okay but hello! I saw your post about a Soulmate!AU for TUA and with season 4 coming I feel like I need to know more sooooo may I?

anon the way you made me screech and giggle and cry tears of joy because of course you may know more?? i've been waiting for this??? for reference, this is the post and this is how i'm tagging the au to keep track of it on my blog. because i may not have a title, but i'm an editor and sometimes a writer and almost always i just have an overreacting imagination. so i definitely needed a tag. anyway! i'll... idk i will give you a few details? hcs? this is the gist of it, buckle up !

the psa for this is that there are two kind of soulmarks: the ones you already have when you are born (if you're born with it; not everyone is and as a matter of fact the only two brellies to have a twin flame are allison and klaus) and the ones that appear through life (way more common). a case could be made to differentiate between these two categories, for which we either talk about twin flames—allegedly what once was one single soul now split in two perfect halves who are said to recognize and yearn for one another—or soulmates—two souls drawn to one another out of compatibility or remembrance who connect and form something.

this may vary from one culture to another, but there generally is no fixed standard regarding romantic or platonic bonds, as every soulmark and soul bond are unique in form and shape and meaning. this is the core of it all.

now. . . when they're little, reginald makes six of his seven children get the umbrella academy tattoo. in this universe, that tattoo is sort of a faux mark, because reginald had a strict and precise stance on soulmarks and at the time claimed that such things were foolish compared to the duty the academy had towards the world. the team should have formed a united front, be a unit, so that tattoo was a symbol that was to be seen as binding. marks and bonds can be made not just by fate, after all! at the time, little viktor was exempt from it because he wasn't part of the academy.

(little did they know that years down the line, in the sixties, an actual mark would appear on that same spot. this time though there would be seven of them.)

anyway, i don't know if you want a rundown of the soulmarks and whatnot? i have an in-depth list of bonds (both marked and not) with backstories and considerations and hcs regarding canon events that is quite lengthy because i imagine the au splitting in two branches at some point—one canon compliant up to season 4 when it's out and one canon divergent post-season 1 or 2—and  i'm also writing down a list of the soul bonds within the academy that is basically an abstract from viktor's book (because he would have included it too). i'll keep it short for starters because otherwise i'll end up unloading too much on you all and i'm afraid of being too all over the place, but basically. THE SOUL BONDS:

there's the tattoo of the series/faux mark and the actual soulmark that in my mind appears on top of it mid-season 2 and is shared by the brellies. team zero, hey? then from the oldest to the most recent to manifest we've got. . .

FIVE & VIKTOR, the rings ┈ because i nicknamed them all according to their soulmarks they have this small pigmented ring on the right ring finger that changes in shade depending on the physical distance between them. very subtle and cool and with much lore following canon, as you may guess. the only thing i'm gonna say for now is that five and vik's soul bond goes back to when they were four and it played a small role in the leaving lights on and sanwiches out situation.

LUTHER & ALLISON, the cryptolect ┈ it means that they can speak a language of their own. literally! it's impossible for anybody but them to understand it, reginald probably tried and failed to identify patterns or elements from various linguistic branches to make some sense of it but it just can't be picked up or taught as it's basically second nature. given how luther and allison were as kids it was such a big deal and so obvious that no one even remembers a time before and obviously due to recent events it's kinda cool to me to see it as a bit deteriorated but still ever-present bond.

FIVE & BEN, the wisps ┈ literally what five started calling the two flame-like little spirits that represent his and ben's soul bond after ben pointed out that they looked like the will-'o-the-wisp he'd read about in a book. but also because of the way they would appear and always lead the way to one another. that was their thing. nobody but five and ben has ever been able to see the wisps, not even klaus, so they had a theory that maybe they were an echoed apparition of their souls or something like that. there's a lot of lore/hcs here, too, especially regarding five's disappearance and time in the apocalypse and ben's afterlife as a ghost. all i can say is ‘so close yet far’ and ‘never truly gone’.

KLAUS & BEN, the timers ┈ it is as it says, only there were speculations about what the timers led to given that they weren't aligned (read: they were counting down to different dates) and not even made out of conventional numerals. the soulmark itself was a bit above the inner crook of the left elbow, no darker than a sunspot, regularly in motion and indicating years, months, days, hours, minutes, and seconds in roman numerals, which is part of the reason why it was a bit difficult to interpret with no previous familiarity. even more so if you're oblivious or in denial. again, lore and angst and delayed realization came with a row of light null characters in its stead. quite a bit of baggage because i love them and canon says so.

DIEGO & KLAUS, the compass ┈ more specifically, i have it jotted down as a moving indicator that appeared more or less when they were around thirteen or fourteen. it might have seemed out of the blue then, but all things considered it wasn't that unexpected, especially when you look at season one or if you too think that diego used to haul klaus from the streets or drag him to rehab if they ran into one another. anyway, their soulmark is kind of a compass if you go by its shape. it's embedded on the lower part of the palm of their right hand, towards the thumb (below klaus' hello tattoo), and it does move and spin, but instead of pointing north it points you towards the general direction of the other.

OG!BEN & VIKTOR, the blossoms ┈ the most subtle and late soul bond of them all. i like to think that the lowest numbers were close as kids, given the information we were given, so even though their relationship might have stilled a little in their teens it was still tender enough to grant viktor and ben a soul bond. they were never sure of when it happened because the only instance where the soulmark in on itself becomes visible is when they touch. physical contact equals a tiny luminescent outlined flower appearing near the knuckle of their left middle finger. to which i feel the need to remind you all of this:

so these are the soul bonds within the hargreeves siblings! without taking into account sparrow!ben (or the sparrows in general) because stars do i have something in store for pookie as well.

i was tempted to add more, but i also wanted to emphasize how there doesn't always need to be an actual, visible soulmark for a bond to be important plus i'm waiting to see if season 4 makes me add more lol. diego is a primary example of this because, without spoiling anything, he secretly craved that kind of bond as a child, even though his siblings love him just the same regardless. it's also the reason why i have a list of non-marked bonds as well as one for soul bonds featuring characters outside of the academy. there might also be a playlist somewhere, because each bond has a song in my mind, but i digress!

this has gotten super long already so for now, that's it that's all. but i'm tagging this au and working on it and my inbox is there if you uuh, wanna chat about it more? ngl it was hard not being able to rant about it with anybody, because there are some elements and facts and implications there that genuinely alter my brain chemistry daily. so thank you for the ask, nonnie! <3

[xbruised-peachx]

I love your hcs! And I love that you write for Gromsko and Fender!! ❤️❤️❤️

I checked your blog to see if you're accepting requests but I couldn't find anything. 🤔

I wanted to ask how you think those two act around their crush before they confess to them/how they go about asking their crush out?

Please ignore this if your requests are closed 😅

(thank you!!! for a ref, my writing requests are open! pretty much only req i dont do is render request, but my writing requests are always open!)

Tags: fem!reader, not betaread, one shot, slight angst in fenders section

Gromsko w/ a crush

I've gone into this in Sowa Team but he's kinda the type to genuinely not believe you're single and just assume you're taken. I mean... come on, how could you not have a lucky someone? He admires from afar, adoring the way you talk, you walk, your smile. He notes the way you react when he talks to you though, looking away when you catch his gaze, a softly blush barely appearing on your laughing face. He never asks directly, instead hearing from others or from an implication from you that you aren't taken. He takes that and starts to flirt a bit more, starting to call you little pet names but only in Polish, assuming you wouldn't understand and if you do understand... then you'd get his hint. Kochanie, malenka (everyone is small to him), kotku, he'll even tease light-heartedly; "Whatever you say, piękna..." He'll play off your words, making you smile and laugh however he can because he just can't get enough of it. That's how he finally asked you out too, catching him looking at you while eating lunch.

"You're staring at me like you're a cartoon character," you called him out and you were right, head in his hands and slightly tilted. "Only thing missing is the hearts in your eyes."

He chuckled, shaking his head as he broke his gaze. "Yeah... I can't help it I guess." He paused, looking back at you with such soft eyes. "...I could just look at you for hours. I think seeing you smile would be my sunrise in the morning."

You laughed, your cheeks starting to blush. "Gromsko... have you thought of waking up to me?"

His smile dropped slightly, realizing he slipped up, his eyes darting as for once, his confidence fell. "Maybe..."

"Mhmm... and how long have you thought about that? Why were you thinking of that?" You teased him playfully.

He smirked, gaining a bit of self-assurance as he looked back at you. "I think you know why..."

With a sly smile, he let his hand slip over to you, letting that be his answer as he looked at you with adoration again... and you accepted.

Fender w/ a crush

With the way he is, knowing his father's fate... love terrifies him. He's tried to keep it out of his mind and for the most part it had been successful. People would catch the way he'd be struck by you, lingering looks for longer than he has for anyone else... and when called on it it struck him in a different way. He'd notice how his heart skipped a beat when he saw you smile in pure joy. You'd never catch him looking though because he'd look away just as quick, snapping himself out of it. He wanted to keep you smiling, but to him the only way to do that was to keep away from you. He lived a dangerous life... his heart ached just thinking about hurting someone by leaving them. And he could avoid that by simply never coming into your life. But he could only avoid for so long. Once you started talking to him and he got to know you more... he started falling more and more. But he remained in denial, despite how often you insisted on wanting to hang out with him, showing how much you enjoyed his company, he convinced himself you didn't like him like that. But as he got more comfortable around you he also got more comfortable sharing, eventually sharing his fear... even his fear of love and why.

"I... can understand that," you said sympathetically. "I'm sure seeing your mom all your life post... I can't even imagine but I can understand."

"...It's hard still. She always said I looked like him... the way her face dropped in fear when I told her I was joining but... I also remember her pride in telling me to protect my face..." He paused, looking away from you and to the floor, shutting his eyes as he took a deep breath. "...Even if I don't date anyone... the idea of leaving her alone is..."

He couldn't finish his words before a releasing a shuttering breath. You let him have his moment of quiet before scooting close, putting your arm around him to help ground him back to reality before dark thoughts took him. "I know you're scared but... Fender, you don't have to suffer alone with these thoughts... I'm here for you, no matter what."

He slowly looked to you, tears just barely pricking his brown eyes as he hesitantly leaned into your touch, enjoying it but still having anxiety. "...Thank you......" his voice was soft, and his smile showing his absolute gratitude. It took a while for him to gain the trust needed to let you love him... to let himself show love to another. But when he did, he couldn't be happier allowing himself to be vulnerable in a way he never has before.

[trashpandacraft]

I have a question if you'd be willing to answer

I'm very much a beginner with spinning, but I recently decided to make my first project using my handspun yarn. I know it's wool, but I don't have any information on what type, as it was given all to me as gifts.

My issue is that it feels very sticky. Which I am assuming is because of the lanolin, and would be helped by washing it. I can't seem to find any resources on that though, so I was wondering if since you talk about it a lot if you could point me to any? Just normal washing in water (and soap?) seems like a recipe for felting.

I'm not sure how relevant this is to the washing process, but just in case it is I haven't plied any of this, mostly because it is already much more thick than I would like (definitely need to work on that!)

Thank you for everything! Your blog has been a huge help to me with figuring out what exactly I'm doing (or in many cases, what I'm doing wrong)

i'm gonna answer this, but i have to be honest that i've tried spinning without washing the fibre first, and i don't love it, so have very little experience with this specific thing. i'm going to give you my best guess, and then probably people who are more experienced with this than i am will tell us both why i'm wrong. (this is an invitation; i am comfortable being wrong.)

i'd wash it the first time the same way you do for washing fleece, which is going to sound scary, so before i go any further: felting needs heat, water, and agitation. you've gotta use water and heat to get the lanolin out, so all you can do here is control for agitation. don't manhandle the yarn in the water, don't run the water directly onto the yarn, don't go from hot to cold water, etc. it's honestly not that bad—once the yarn has been spun, it takes at least a little more effort to felt it. think about how heavily some people finish handspun yarns—shocking it, thwacking it, snapping it, etc. i (intentionally) fulled a singles skein a while back and went at it for several minutes with a (clean!!) toilet plunger in a bucket of hot water, and even after that, it's lightly fulled, not felted.

so to wash your yarn: soak it in water to get it fully wet, then toss it in a bath of hot (like 60c/140f) water and dish soap. dump the water after twenty minutes, and repeat until the water you're dumping is at least mostly clear, then do one more water change without soap for a rinse. i'd expect this will take several water changes—this blog post has great visuals of what it looks like as the lanolin washes away, and what kind of changes to look for in the water. you could follow their entire process, if you wanted, though it's more effort and maths than i find my situation necessitates.

which is to say that i'm sure that they're objectively correct, especially if you're working with very greasy fleece and/or hard water, but i have neither, and have chosen to go with the 'blurp some dish soap into hot water' method, which has worked fine for my admittedly very low-key uses.

so that's my best guess for how you'd wash it. i think the next question is probably when you'd wash it, and my vote for that one is going to be after you've plied it.

i have two big reasons for it. first, if there's enough twist in the yarn to ply, i think you're going to have a tangly mess of woolen spaghetti if you wash it without plying first. i'm sure that someone will suggest that you could wind the spun yarn onto some sort of Contraption that would keep it under tension and wash it like that, but: it sounds like such a monstrous pain in the ass that while you could pay me to do it, you would need to pay me an amount of money that has at least three digits in it.

the other reason is that washing will help set the twist, but my feeling is that you want the twist active for plying. i've plied yarn that i'd, uh, 'rested', we'll call it, for six-plus months between spinning and plying, and it plies...ok? not great, though, and i found it harder to get a balanced yarn. i'm guessing that washing will give similar results—yarn that's just a little more resistant to plying than it should be, and requires more management to get it to ply nicely. i don't think that it'll totally destroy your yarn or anything, but i do think that the finished yarn is likely to be less nice than it would otherwise be.

i feel like this is sort of a half-assed answer, for which i'm sorry—i'm not really my best or brightest self right now, but didn't want to let this sit.

i'm also sure that there are people here who've actually done this exact thing and can speak from experience rather than semi-educated guesses, so hopefully some of them will chime in.

[wobblyprinny]

Well, I've never written a blog before but I've always toyed with the idea so, well, here I am.

Anyway, I'm not really sure where this will go, nor do I have any especially big plans for it but...

I'm tired of keeping these things to myself, especially after seeing that there 'was' a community out there for people who've been where I am and yet, unlike ne, took it further with their own relationships.

To be honest, I hadn't thought about these things in a long time but, a lot's happened and I've had tine to really think back on things.

I guess it was during all that downtime and, to a lesser degree, the amateurish creative stuff I'm doing, that the thoughts and feelings came back to the front of my mind.

Or more like, they never really left, I guess.

Anyway, I.... was, and likely still am, very much attracted to my younger sister.

How did it happen?

Why did it happen?

No clue.

We grew up together but I'd never say we were all that close.

If anything, I thought she didn't like me at all... maybe she doesn't now. Who knows.

Well, at some point, and without even noticing it, we just kind of... noticed we were looking at each other differently. Tension was definitely there, and our relationship became.... a bit more unconventional than was typical of more 'traditional' sibling relationships.

A lot of 'will we, won't we' energy and tension.

She was, really good at teasing me. I'll just leave it at that.

We came VERY close to crossing that line but never did....

But, things were already rough at home at the time and only got worse as more time passed.

Nothing because of us, but still effected us because of the fallout.

Anyway, a lot happened and well, we all split up and moved on with our lives, for better or worse.

Damn near two decades pass and only now do I realize just what it was I felt; that I was sexually and romantically attrcted to my younger sister.

I don't quite know if I was, or am, in love with her, but.... she was clearly very special to me.

I guess this first post is something of a confession to just... get it all off my chest and say that, I fully support consenting adult relationships of any configuration or orientation.

LGBTQ+, poly, consang, whatever...

If you're both fully consenting adults, or even close in age, then you should be free to have those relationships with the person/people you love without fear of discrimination or rejection.... or, like me, regret at never taking the plunge in the first place and instead try to bury those feelings for the sake of 'normalcy'.

...I'm sure a LOT more people out there can at least relate to that much, if nothing else.

Honestly, if I could go back in time and tell her how I felt, especially now that I better understand my feelings, I would.

But, she moved on, married, and had kids, so I can't.

I lost my chance.

I guess the whole, 'what could've been' element to all this is my biggest hang-up about everything but, as long as she's happy, then that's fine.

I just wanted to finally open up about it seeing as I've had these thoughts and feelings for so long... even if these are just coming from just another single loser in his mid 30's, haha.

Well, that's it for now.

Dunno what I'll post next, but I'll be back before too long.

[chemighoul]

Geez, Isley, it's only been 10 hours since your initial post and you're already bored with the asks? I have to wait up to a month for my St. Joseph's Coat cactus to decide it wants to grow a single new tubercle, but I guess we can't say you have the patience of succulents.

What's the point of your whole plot here? You invite the boy in to observe your garden under the pretense of a white flag, and then take over his blog? Your actions seem quite arbitrary and, dare I say, human.

You know, an observation from a non-human friend of mine is that the "meat beings" currently infesting this planet rarely operate as individuals. Like a fungi colony, what you do to one can have effects that reach throughout their entire social system, which will react accordingly.

All right, so uh.

First, you guys are ride or die, and I appreciate that. Threatening a rogue via my inbox where they're gonna see it? That takes guts, and I do have shooters out there.

However, there's more to this situation than what it looked like, so lemme explain.

As you all saw, I went to her place on her terms, and I brought some derivative toxin kinda like the worst pepper spray that I boiled down from leftover meds I "found". Bad for people, plants won't care, all that goodness. She offered me an inoculation like she gave Ms Harleen: immunity from plant toxins and all kinds, never will I threaten an orchid with the sniffles again during hay fever season. Won't even have to wear a mask and goggles. Of course, I said yes. What I didn't account for is that uh...when people get vaccinated, they can get a dizzy spell from all the shit they just injected, and this one was hefty to say the least...so, I got dizzy, laid down, and took a nap for 10 hours until she woke me up at sundown and told me to go home.

What I came back to was a buncha missed calls, texts, and some rude fuckin' comments that came tricklin' in while I was getting over it over the weekend. (Some of you oughta be ashamed of what you said to her. I'm not posting that shit, so if the misogynist shoe fits, choke on it. ) Do I love that I got frisked? No. But here's the thing: I understand why she did it. I would have too: there's some trust here between us, don't get me wrong, but we're still rogues. We have some mutual respect because we both know we can ruin each other if we decide to, and the crux of it is that we continually choose not to. Make of that what you will.

All that to say...have a little more respect, huh?

[calumhoodgoss]

horror story of a teenage 5sos blogger

let me set the scene - its the mid 2010s, I'm 17, in the height of my 5sos fan career, im watching keek compilations all day and scrolling tumblr all night. Life is good.

Fast forward a few months and I start talking to this cute boy at school. we start going on dates, having first kisses - and first everything elses. we're falling madly in love. it's intense (and so cringy to look back at as an adult) but again, life is good! not a worry in the world!!

eventually.. it somehow comes up that my boyfriend and i both have tumblrs (of VERY different nature's mind you). we wanted to show eachother things we'd found online but we were both adamant we didn't want to see eachothers blogs (FOR OBVIOUS REASONS). instead of following each other, we would send each other screenshots of funny textposts, pictures, etc. - blacking out our respective blog names and url's to protect our online anonymity. life is good!

now by day, I'm spending all hours messaging my totally hot boyfriend but by night... by night, I'm reblogging hot gifs of calum hood, smut fanfics, imagines, general gifs of hot couples making out (ifykyk). it's the HEIGHT of tumblr fanfiction and imagine culture and I could not get enough. i was exploring things in real life with my boyfriend while also exploring online through fics. reblogging every single thing along the way. i was having my cake and eating it too and it was a fucking good time to be alive. life is so good!

of course, like any normal person, I was using my tags as a stream of consciousness. a way to get out my feelings about cal, about my boyfriend, about being a teenager, about LITERALLY EVERYTHING. Unfiltered, hormonal, teenage girl writing about the boys she likes. every. damn. night. life! is! good!

until.. all until.. my boyfriend and i were lying together in a park, under a tree, light filtering down on us as we talk and laugh and kiss - a perfect afternoon UNTIL he says there's something he has to tell me. 'what does *name of my blog* mean?'

TURNS OUT, the very first time I sent him a screenshot of something, I didn't black out my url properly and he had been SECRETLY STALKING MY BLOG FOR MONTHHHSSSS.

MONTHS

MONTHS!!!!!!

Literally just months worth of calum hood smut, so.much.smut, smut requests too!!!, soft porn gifs WITH TAGS LITERALLY EXPLICITLY ABOUT MY BOYFRIEND, countless text posts about our dates and whatever the fuck I was thinking or feeling that day, 5sos drama, EVERYTHING. EVERYTHINGGGGG. ABSOLUTELY EV ER Y THIN G

needless to say that blog was immediately scorched from the surface of the earth. and since then, I virtually haven't been on 5sos tumblr - until now. I was so mortified that I wasn't just throwing my thoughts into the void, I was literally scarred.

we're still together though lol I guess he some how liked me enough to look past the 5sos blog HAHA. he's a much stronger person than I because if the roles were reversed and he had some obsessed teenage fan blog, I think i would have gotten the ick straight away. Especially since I literally NEVER talked about 5sos with him because I was soooo embarrassed that I was obsessed with them (this was album one era guys HAHA and my boyfriend was way cooler than me in highschool). now I don't care, I play them in the shower all the time - he can deal with it hahaha

moral of the story is, idk don't tell your teenage boyfriend you have tumblr cause he will find your blog