#I guess I just don't sleep at all anymore lol kill me

[l1wolf2588]

Foster a week-old kitten, they said. It'll be fun, they said.

[boysbeware2]

all the old tptm girl journal entries w the new (if anyone wants to see them again and compare them)

please proceed with caution as many of these could be upsetting to read

disposable girl (jordyn)

(old)

i cant fucking stand this. i try so goddamn hard to make friends, to be attractive to people, to be even somewhat appealing to them etc etc. it never works. i thought it would get better the older i get. thats what i was told. guess what! i was fucking lied to!!! im alwasy left out of EVERYTHING i never get invited to shit and my own friends ignore me all the time. everyone looks at me weird. i cant go in public anymore im so fucking terrified of everyone. nobody fuckinf wants me, man. im so close to doing something stupid i feel so gross and ugly and dumb i should actually just die id be doing everyone a favor LOL

(new)

man, i havent been on here in forever. the internet is kind of dumb. what is there to say? my friend group celebrated our outpatient graduation anniversary the other day, that was pretty nice. we’re all trying to figure out housing stuff, nora’s been helping with that. freyja + mayra + kairi found a place already (how are they so responsible??) and the rest of us are trying to find places near them so we can visit more often. i never expected to have such a big group of friends. if you told me 2 years ago that i’d be living like this, i wouldn’t believe you. it’s still surreal to me. i’m not sure what i did to deserve them. same goes for my girlfriends. i don’t wanna say who just yet, we’re still figuring things out, but i’m just so thankful for them. i feel so lucky to have a second chance at life. i really didn’t believe people when they said it would get better, and then it did. how funny…..

irreverent girl (kairi)

(old)

I do not want God to see me anymore. I do not want anymore eyes on me. This is near unbearable. I have no one to turn to. My mother is in the church. Many of my friends are in the church. They would tell me to find hope through Christ. They would tell me to pray to Him. They would tell me that He will save me. He must not remember He made me, and if He does, He simply does not care. I know this is unbecoming of me, and I don't mean to be dramatic. I am simply depressed, nervous, and I cannot tell what's real and what isn't anymore. I know I'm supposed to hear God speaking to me, but I do not, and I am tired of straining my ears. I just want to see a doctor. I want some kind of tangible solution. I do not want to pray anymore. Praying hurts. I only do it when I am afraid, but I am afraid much of the time. I don't want to be unheard anymore. I do not want to hold out hope for someone who does not act like they're there. I am hurting. I am hurting. I am hurting. Belief is hurting me. The idea of God is hurting me. I need an out. I am hurting.

(new)

When I have a job and money and I can move away from my shitty Mormon parents

splitter girl (tahira)

(old)

theres something so broken in me thats beyond saving. so i dont know why i keep trying to be saved. i meant to kill myself when i was 18. i didnt. all ive wanted to do lately is kill someone or something. i havent. im too much of a pussy to plan anything concrete, no matter how much i hate everyone around me. no matter how much i get off to videos of people dying or how much i love cutting myself i cant actually take action against other people. i am fucking purposeless. i was born from evil and i will always be evil and i cant even live up to that. i hate myself i hate myself i HATE myself and the universe hates me too. i dont know what to fucking do at this point. i talked to one of my friends about wantingto die and they said smthn about hospitalizing myself. maybe. i dunno. i dont know what else there is for me/. my eyes are fucking burning from lookign at my computer for so long adn not getting any goddamn sleep. i am not a good person. i dont think i can be helped but i just dont wanna fucking keep goign to school and being around people and pretending like everything is norma;l. i cant keep doing it. what the fuck is wrong with me whagt happened. why cant i be loved or feel love for other people when did something change in me that switched the aggression and affection parts of my brain. im hyperventilating ill be back. maybe

(new)

getting myself onigiri from this one good boba place 2nite bc im 8 months clean…… its the little things~ ^^

fainéant girl (freyja)

(old)

i know i dont hate being disabled... i just hate being disabled in a society that makes existing difficult... but sometimes i really just dont want to be disabled anymore. i dont want my family to lecture me about how i could be helping out more, or how i should get a job. i dont want teachers to keep asking me whats wrong or the fuckin uni counselor to try to get me hospitalized. i dont want to be in so much pain anymore, to feel so exhausted that i cant even do so much as prepare food for myself, let alone do anything meaningful or fulfilling. its not fair. i shouldnt have to stay inside and sit in the dark all day,. i should be able to have friends. to talk to people and to go out with them and to feel like i am alive. its lonely and traumatic to suffer through this and on top of that no one around me understands, and they never fully will. i am tired of trying to justify my existence to everyone, to explain the pain that i am in and why i shouldnt have to experience it. i know the problem isnt me. i know i live in a world that isnt built for me. but if the world cant change then sometimes i truly feel that i should just stop living in it. my lifespan is already shorter than everyone else's anyways. what difference does it make

(new)

my qpps didnt seem to appreciate me playing Alien Kids Alien Rap for them. Do they even love me

caliber girl (nora)

(old)

唉～It is 3 AM and I should go to sleep but I can’t. I have a work zoom meeting early in the morning and I gotta hit the gym also because I haven’t done leg day in like… weeks. Oh well, it doesn’t even matter. My value is depleting but I don’t think I care anymore. The turnaround date for my code is also in a couple of days and I haven’t made any progress. I keep getting the same error and I’m too tired to figure out what’s wrong. I might get fired at this rate LOL(笑). If that happens, I think I’ll just consider ending it all. Not that anybody will miss me. God I sound so weak and pathetic right now. When did it get like this. How did it get like this. I’m sure I’ll be fine. I’ve been through worse before and this is nothing. Ugh, why is it so hard to breathe? My chest hurts and I feel like something is wrong but I don’t know how to make it go away. Should I call someone about this? No. No one is awake or around to help. I’ll be fine. I’ll just sleep it off. Shake it off… shake it off…

(new)

My Tamagotchi beeped during a meeting fml

chocolate box girl (morgan)

(old)

i thought i was doing better but i cant stop thinking about them. their touch, their interests, their smile, everything. the worst part is that i miss them, after all of what they've done to me. i was 13. i dont even feel justified calling it rape since our relationship was so muddy... they never yelled at me or was angry at me, they just got so sad when i tried to speak my mind, and got all my friends to hate me when we finally broke up. i never said no so i feel like im insulting actual survivors by feeling violated. i wasnt even trying to get into a relationship with them, it just happened... i feel like everyone around me wants me in the same way they did, even though im an adult now and i dont even try to make myself appealing. i wish i could trust people not to take advantage of me, and i feel disgusting and selfish for feeling like everyone has ulterior motives of getting me to fall in love with them, or worse. that's so self centered of me. i dont know how long i can keep doing this

(new)

girl help i cant stop looking at anime figures on japan yahoo auctions !!!!!

taxidermy girl (mayra)

(old)

I don't remember ever not having a sex drive, is that normal ? I was born and then it was all downhill from there, something happened to me sexually i think, I don't know what happened, because I don't remember much, but something happened and I was beaten for it and yelled at and my mother hated me, and now I am an adult and I try to have sex, and I'm not there mentally, even if my body is participating, I feel like I am in the past again, being beaten and yelled at . I want to keep trying, I want to have fun, to feel safe in someone else's arms, to reach the heights of pleasure, but my mind scares me so much, I haven't been able to eat anything today because I feel so horrified by my body . If I was good I would have been born as a nonsexual being, no parts, no desires, no instincts, a blank slate, too empty to be enjoyed . Do you know what it feels like, to have your mother tell you people want to sexually abuse you when you are a child, and then to be made fun of by your peers for being so ugly, to have your middle school and high school classmates joke about how much they don't want to have sex with you ? I am illicit and undesirable at the same time, I am everyone's last option, I am nothing and still too much, rotting deer meat on the side of the road . I wish I had been born as something beautiful and pure, I wish I could start over, that whatever that initial sin was had never been committed .. I want to start over

(new)

Went to a kink event the other night and everyone was so nice … The low lights were fucking with my vision so one of the hosts helped me navigate the place . I ❤️ you random disabled ally with a pup mask on

chemical girl (joy)

(old)

LMAOOOOO im too angry and miserable to be around. i think i just need to give up at this point because theres clearly like. something broken inside me that cant be fixed. that has 2 be it because i try to talk and i just sound cold, i try to make a joke and it comes out overly edgy and unfunny, i try to be like everyone else but its too much. i cant even be a collection of the positive traits i see in others, i try to replicate it and it comes out warped and wrong. im either fucking enraged or in abject misery or way too happy and nobody can keep up with me. the thing is i dont even blame them. i wouldnt want to be around me either. do u know what thats like? being someone you wouldnt want to know? i keep hoping that one day ill wake up and suddenly be normal, the mood swings will be gone and everyone will like me and i wont do stupid shit that pisses them off. but i know that day isnt coming. theres no hope for me and i want to say sorry to everyone who has ever had the misfortune of knowing me but i know it wouldnt do anything. theres nothing i could ever do to make myself right

(new)

i need to convince my gf to take me to Round One again soon

refraction girl (nataana)

(old)

i don't want to do this anymore. i'm going somewhere better

(new)

talked with my psych and i’ll be starting TMS soon, it’s some thing where they put magnets to ur brain and it’s supposed to treat depression.. trying to temper my expectations bc i’ve tried so many treatments that just do nothing for me, but i’d be lying if i said my hopes weren’t riding on this. i want to confidently say i’m glad to be alive. i feel like i’m getting closer to that

nurse parallel/machine girl (xiomara)

(old)

I am so excited... Tomorrow my experimental outpatient treatment plan begins!!! I'm beyond delighted. I have complicated feelings about my DID being in remission, but it's nice to feel stable enough to be in charge of something this big, and to not have terrible gaps in my memory anymore. I still don't remember everything that happened to me, but maybe I don't need to. At this stage of my life, I feel content. I can confidently say everything was worth it. I want to help others feel that way, too. I think I can.

(new)

I’m meeting up with a new friend tomorrow… I feel nervous, but it’s a good nervousness, I think!

[danieyells]

Rui mizuki’s lines from Tokyo debunker if you haven’t yet PLEASE I will love you for all eternity

They’re edging me with the rui crumbs every chapter I can’t take it anymore

One flirty reaper coming right up!! And by right up i mean almost a week after you asked hhahaha

BUT YEAH WE DO GET A LITTLE OF HIM HERE AND THERE i wonder why he pops up so much. Especially for someone who allegedly tries not to be around other people much due to his deadly touch? Kinda sus--

also this is the first time i've posted all of someone's lines! not that i don't always end up posting 95% of them anyway, but for some reason some of Rui's were ordered weird(they're normally not entirely in order but they're usually sectioned properly, but for some reason one of his affinity chats was way in the wrong place) and I ended up closely paying attention to which one i was looking at and before i knew it i posted all of them lmao. . . .

Hello: (the first time the game is opened after that character is set as home screen NPC. Only happens once per day, unless the character is switched out and back.)

"{PC}, hey! Here's to another day vibing our way through curse twin life!"

You've Got Mail: (whenever there's something in the inbox, usually Arena rewards)

"Huh? Did you know you've got unread messages? Oh, that's why you've been leaving me on delivered! Ahaha!"

no that's just because my adhd makes me hyperfocus on things and it refuses to allow me to attempt to allot attention or energy to things it deems me not having enough attention span or energy or time for and i'm sorry--

Default: (requires no affinity, has no time constraints)

"Aw c'mon Ed, again? Why does he always leave his socks on the floor... It's actually exhausting picking up after him all the time..."

lazy sloppy vampire lol

"You look kind of tired {PC}, you doing okay? Why don't you stop by the bar later? I can be your shoulder to cry on."

"Hey! You on break now? If you're super nice and you're gonna come chill with me now, put your hands up!"

"{PC}...were you just checking me out? Hey, it's all good, don't be embarrassed!"

"Oof, Ed popped out of nowhere so I accidentally touched him and he died again. Now I have to carry him all the way back to the dorm..."

i love the face he makes when he says this lmao like he is so tired of Ed's carelessness!

Affinity 1: (between 5am and 11am)

"{PC}! Did you come here to see me first thing? No way! You just made my day!"

Affinity 2: (between 11am and 4pm)

"Aw c'mon, Ed, what are you doing sleeping out here? Didn't you just take a nap, old man? You're gonna catch a cold!"

Affinity 3: (between 4pm and 8pm)

"Oh hey, it's {PC}! Can't believe I ran into you here, so random! Guess we've gotta go on a date now, huh? It's like, written in the stars!"

i love flirty characters like rui lolol just. there's always More Going On there. and Rui starts off with More right off the bat.

Affinity 4: (between 8pm and 5am)

"I can touch the plants as long as I have gloves on! I mean yeah, I'm pretty sure the same goes for people, but don't you think it'd be scary to test it out?"

Affinity 5: (between 8pm and 5am)

"Come swing by the bar later! I'd rather watch a pretty face like yours while I work instead of a bunch of drunk guys."

Affinity 6: (between 4pm and 8pm)

"What? Ed was praising my good looks? I mean he's right, right? People always tell me my face is my only redeeming feature!"

but rui works so hard!? who's saying that!!

Affinity 7: (between 11am and 4pm)

"Oh sorry, I don't do the whole class thing! You go, I'm all good here!"

Affinity 8: (between 4pm and 8pm)

"Ouch! Aw man, that rose thorn just scratched my arm... Wait, nooo! My rose bushes are wilting!!"

it's so easy for him to accidentally kill anything lmaoooo

Affinity 9: (between 8pm and 5am)

"Are you out here by yourself, {PC}? Isn't that like not super dangerous? ...Wait, did that make sense? Whatever, let me walk you back!"

Affinity 10: (between 10pm and midnight)

"Sorry! A drunk customer broke a glass, so I'm cleaning it up! Everyone's a little pent-up lately, I guess."

Affinity 11: (between 5am and 11am)

"Watering plants in the AM is such a mood lift, right? Whoa, everything's blooming like crazy out here! Better get my pruning shears."

it's a testament to how well he takes care of these plants that they grow super well in permanently-night Obscuary, i think. 8'D

Affinity 12: (between 11am and 4pm)

"Huh? Look, you've got loose threads on your uniform. Give it to me, I'll fix it for you!"

Affinity 13: (between 4pm and 8pm)

"Hey, {PC}, did you eat yet? My door's always open! You can just stay the night after!"

damn already inviting you to stay over at affinity 13--just don't share the bed, you'll wake up super dead

Affinity 14: (between 5am and 11am)

"(yawn) Wow, I am dead tired... but I've gotta take a shower, make breakfast, and do the laundry before those two sleepyheads get up."

it takes a real man to be a single mother. . . .

Affinity 15: (between 5am and 11am)

"Oh hey, what's your poison? Wait, I mean, morning! Man, I tried to take my friend's drink order when we were hanging out yesterday too, occupational hazard I guess."

Affinity 16: (between 11am and 4pm)

"A mission? I'm good, thanks though! Oh hey, you should invite Lyca! He'd totally be into that!"

Lyca also probably needs them to pass the grade lol

Affinity 17: (between 10pm and midnight)

"No way, look at the time! Wish I could keep listening to you talk... Wanna stay over?"

Affinity 18: (between 8pm and 5am)

"Oh man, I'm sorry! I'm closing early, I've got plans with a friend tonight. It'd be awesome if you could come by tomorrow!"

Affinity 19: (between 10pm and midnight)

"Congrats on making it through another day, {PC}! I seriously admire you for working so hard. You're not doing this all for me, are you?"

Affinity 20: (between 5am and 11am)

"Morning! Whoa, you wanna help me with the housework, {PC}? It's all good, thanks though! The thought's more than enough for me."

c'mon, refusing help at affinity 20? let the pc be your little helper at least!

Affinity 21: (between 11am and 4pm)

"Obscuary looks like it'd be full of downers, but it's actually pretty lively in there, right? Not gonna lie, I def prefer it that way."

Affinity 22: (between 4pm and 8pm)

"Lyca's an open book, but the flip side is he says the darndest things... I feel like watching him is bad for my heart..."

he talks so much about his teammates, he really is such a mom. . . .

Affinity 23: (between 8pm and 5am)

"My eyes are red? Huh, that's weird... Oh yeah, I was cutting onions just now when I was preparing the appetizers for the bar!"

. . .idk this is pretty high affinity. . .you were crying about something weren't you rui. . .or romeo paid you in weed and you were getting tweaked up in the back of the bar

Affinity 24: (between 10pm and midnight)

"Oh, don't worry about me, I always sleep late! I'm down to chat till you drift off to dreamland."

Affinity 25(max): (no time constraints)

"Sometimes I wish I could've met you as a regular guy. I guess you wouldn't have given me the time of day if I had though, ahaha."

is it just me or. . .does it feel like he gets a little more distant as his affinity gets higher? like after affinity 17 it feels like he gets a little less flirty and a little more at arms length. . .like he knows his feelings are getting so strong that he might not be able to resist touching you, but he's too scared to do it even with the gloves on. . .so he tries to keep you a little further away. . .and then he admits it, he wishes he could be with you like a normal person, but if he were just some flirt in the street none of this would have ever happened. Poor Rui, he's cursed to be beloved but unable to give love how he wants in return.

Spring: (March-May) (between 5am and 11am)

"Oh man, so nice... The weather's like perfect this time of year, right? Wish we could just chill like this forever."

(between 11am and 4pm)

"Man, you wouldn't even know it was spring with how bleak it is in Obscuary! Aren't there any cuter anomalous plants out there?"

(between 4pm and 8pm)

"I feel like Ed's getting more senile every day... Maybe I should confiscate his tablet."

(between 8pm and 5am)

"So, what do you think of my spring-inspired cocktail? Almost as cute as you, right? I'm gonna add it to the menu!"

Summer: (June-August) (between 5am and 11am)

"C'mon! It's summer, how can the sun never rise in Obscuary!? I wanna get a tan!"

(between 11am and 4pm)

"It's not summer if you don't hit the beach! I used to go all the time back when I surfed. And then I'd pick up girls on my way home... Just kidding, I promise!"

why 'just kidding' lolol you're not together! this relationship is not monogamous even if you were!

(between 4pm and 8pm)

"Ta-da! I've got sparklers! Fireworks are fun and all, but there's something special about holding a light that only sparkles for a hot moment."

(between 8pm and 5am)

"It's so hot out, I bet the bar's gonna be a ghost town... Guess I'll send Harurin and Romi a PR message!"

reaching out to the local population of alcoholic ghouls to remind them to give him business lol

Autumn: (September-November) (between 5am and 11am)

"There's so many dead leaves this time of year, it's a nightmare keeping on top of them! But you can use them to make a fire and roast stuff. Gotta look on the brights!"

(between 11am and 4pm)

"Hey {PC}, when are you free? I have a date idea for us—a romantic walk to admire the fall leaves! I'll pack us a lunch!"

(between 4pm and 8pm)

"Oh damn! You look so cute all bundled up like that, {PC}! We've gotta take a selfie together!"

direct contrast to romeo who sees you in winterwear and calls you a fat slug kekw

(between 8pm and 5am)

"That piano anomaly makes the soundtrack for the bar! The song picks really tug at the heartstrings, right?"

Winter: (December-February) (between 5am and 11am)

"You're a little late today, huh? If you can't get up in the cold, I could be your alarm!"

just gotta be really loud since he'd be too afraid to touch you awake, since he actually wants you to y'know wake up--

(between 11am and 4pm)

"Oh man, how is Lyca so full of energy when it's this cold? You should take him to Frostheim and see if he runs around in the snow like a puppy."

rui pointing at lyca: that dog is my son please take care of him

(between 4pm and 8pm)

"Nothing like winter to make you miss the warmth of human touch... Oh, I'm good! Just getting to talk like this is all I need!"

BBY WE ARE ALL BUNDLED UP. YOU CAN HUG YOU'VE BOTH PROBABLY GOT ON AT LEAST TWO LAYERS JUST DON'T TOUCH FACES.

(between 8pm and 5am)

"Here, this Rui-original hot cocktail will warm you up! I'll blow on it for you, free of charge!"

is this the next step after gamer bathwater. host club host breath.

His birthday: (March 14th)

"Yeah, it's my birthday today! Oh damn, you're gonna celebrate it with me!? No way, I'm like, super touched right now!!"

Your birthday:

"{PC}... Happy birthday!! C'mon, birthday girl, sit down and chill out! This is your day, you should take it easy!"

New Years: (January 1st)

"Happy New Year! Want to start the year off on a high and come on a shrine date with me?"

Valentine's Day: (February 14th)

"Oh damn, are these for me? My heart! Is this your way of professing your love to me? Do I have a shot here?"

White Day: (March 14th)

"Ta-da! Happy White Day! This is for you! What's inside? You've gotta open it and find out!"

April Fool's Day: (April 1st)

"Guess what!? I finally broke my curse! Let's hold hands... just kidding! April Fools!"

this feels more like a joke on him than on you. . .a mean one at that lol

Halloween: (October 31st)

"Happy happy happy Halloween!! Trick or treat! Obviously I'm picking trick, ahaha!"

Christmas: (December 25th)

"Merry Christmas, {PC}! Oh man, I must be like, super blessed to get to spend it with you!"

Idle: (about 20 seconds without interacting with the game) (below 13 affinity)

"Hey, hey, hey! We finally get to spend some time together, it's illegal to take your eyes off me!"

(13 affinity and above)

"{PC}? You seem kind of busy, guess I'll take this chance to get some work done…"

Absent: (logging in for the first time in 2 or more days?)

"{PC}, you're back! I was worried you'd forgotten about me!!"

he's so flirty and clingy, but also he can't be clingy because he's scared you'll die if he touches you, even if he's wearing gloves. . .also surely your curse would cancel out his? Then again I'm sure a reaper i stronger than any other [living] anomaly out there. . . .

but. yeah. rui's a darling haha he just. he's another one of the 'i just wanna be a regular person, i wanna go back to normal' characters whose desire to just be a guy makes him special in a more fantastical world. i'm really looking forward to seeing the Obscuary chapter--probably like a month away, right? 'u'

[hannamoon143]

Work harder

Req by @ot8sworld: Alright so ninth member and y/n is besties / lovey dovey w seungmin if that's ok so there like always together and y/n is really stressed from the new comeback and all themembers are together and she's in the kitchen and starts getting dizzy and yells for seungmin as here and the glass crash down to the floor.im so delulu...Then the members are scared as shit and they all run to her and seungmin is a lil over protective so he's telling them to move and someone teased him but moves then they take her to the hospital and seungmin is really impatient and mad then they get out of there and all the members take care of her. PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE ILY SM 😛😛😛

Word count: 2,9k

Pairings: Skz x fem ninth member

Warnings: fainting,overworking,stress,kinda bad eating habits,mentions of food,crying, Babes and love as name for y/n used once (not meant in a romantic way. i guess,but we don't know what seungmin thinks so..)

a/n: TYSM for the reqqq,i luv itt.The scene where y/n faints is from my own experience,because something very similar to this happened to me two days ago,so i just wrote how it felt lol. Also let’s just not talk about y/n and seungmin idk what they are helpp.Remember to always take care of yourself,drink enough,sleep enough,eat enough,and never push yourself too much.Enjoy now💖

not proofread

„Come on boys, one more time won’t kill you.“ you said rolling your eyes. „But you made us repeat if over and over again.“Jeongin says. His voice sounds strained and exhausted. He was right. You were dancing for hours now. It was because you were never satisfied with the whole dance.

You sighed and agreed. You all started packing our things together to head back to the dorms. The comeback was exhausting for everyone of you.But you,you were a perfectionist. Everyday was the same.no matter If you guys would do dance practice,recordings or whatever. you were never satisfied.You made the boys repeat everything over and over again.You told them that this doesn’t fit,that they need to improve that… you knew it was egoistic because honestly you knew that you only did this because you were never satisfied with your own work.You just had to work harder.You wanted to get better.

Seungmin snapped you out of your thoughts. „Want something from the chinese restaurant when we get home ?the guys are ordering.“ you put on a fake smile and answered that you ate before.Yeah okay that was a lie,but you hadn’t got time to eat.You wanted to practice at home,you jsut didn’t get that one step right,and there was one line in that one song that just never satisfied you.Everything needed to be perfect.your voice,the choreo,the music video… you all sat into the van.

The ride home was filled with laughter and jokes like always.But you pretended to be asleep.You hadn’t got the energy to do anything anymore. You knew that everyone was exhausted.your schedules always were tight since the comeback got announced but in the past weeks it got worse. The nearer the comeback came the more stressed you got.you just needed to work harder.you only slept three hours per night,staying awake with energy drinks and coffee.You also didn’t eat much.It wasn’t that you just didn’t want to eat,no it needed so much time,so you sometimes just forgot it.You could use the time the others spended eating working right? you needed to do that if you wanted to give your best.a few days ago you heard chan talking to lee know about you.

„To be honest i think y/n is the most hardworking of us.“

„Yeah,she is working really really hard“ minho replied slight, concern in his voice.

Silence.you imagined them looking at each other with their worried gazes now.you sighed.

„Minho...i’m a bit worried about her.i know she loves all of this and she wants to do it as good as she can but...maybe she should turn it down a bit.“

you didn’t want to hear minhos reply anymore,so you stepped away from where you’ve been listening and go into your room.

That day another idol would have been happy that their leader is thinking that they are that hardworking. they would of course also have changed their schedule so their members would be less worried.But for you it was more of an insult.You hadn’t worked hard enough to not worry them. Egoistic,disappointing,failing.

You only got snapped out of your thoughts again when seungmin gently tried to wake you. You weren’t even really sleeping but you felt too exhausted to get up,so you just didn’t move and also didn’t say anything.Seungmin quietly spoke to chan.He told him he would bring you to your room and changbin could eat his food , cause he wanted to stay with you. That’s what you loved about seungmin.He was so caring in a way that didn’t annoy you right now for once.You loved every single one of your members so much but seungmin was always a bit different.

When you first met seungmin you immediately liked him.he was a little menace but to you he was always everything. You two were best friends before the group even knew each other entirely.He was there if you needed a shoulder to cry on,he was cheering for you when you achieved something and he was laughing for you if you laughed. Your friendship was a nice one.The best. that’s what it was yeah.But sometimes to you it felt like more. Yeah okay the fact that you two kissed sometimes might say that maybe he felt more too.

When seungmin gently lifted you up,one arm under your knees,one on your back you just let it happen. He carries you into your room,laying you down gently in your bed that was filled with plushies and pillows. He pulled a blanket over you,and suddenly you actually felt sleepy.

„Minnie?“ you whispered when he was about to go out. He immediately turned around.

„Stay for a bit?cuddles?“ you hadn’t asked that in a long time.Before everything went so hectic and stressfull you two always cuddled but now you always just sat in your room,working on something. He smiled warmly,walking to you again.He lied down besides you,pulling the blanket over him too.He took you in his arms,and when you felt like you were almost asleep he pressed a soft kiss to your head.Youu nuzzled more into his chest.And in that moment,you felt like maybe everything wasn’t even that bad.Maybe everything would be okay.Then you drifted off into sleep.

But your bad sleeping schedule fromt the past weeks wouldn’t let you sleep longer than two hours. You woke up,feeling sweaty nauseous and cold at the same time. Confused you looked around.Of course seungmin wasn’t around anymore. But you had a weird feeling in your gut. You grabbed your phone and checked the time.you really had only slept two hours,so you still heard the boys voices outside of your room.You sat up,planning on going to the kitchen and snuggle between them.You didn’t want to admit it but you didn’t feel like work.You always worked lately. but somehow there was this weird feeling in your whole body.You stood up but were greeted with a little wave of dizzines. What was happening? You sat down again and suddenly your hands started shaking.You just looked at them,very confused.You stood up again anyways going into the kitchen where all the guys were sitting.

Your legs also had the same shaking like your hands.You felt a bit hot.You were confused what was going on but when you came into the kitchen you were greeted by the happy boys.

„Y/n!you finally made it out of your room once.We all were wondering when seungmin told us you actually fell asleep.“ Felix jokes but with a lighthearted smile.You wanted to respond something clever when also the others started teasing but you just hummed going over to the sink.you needed something to drink, maybe that would make that feeling better.You also felt like your head was spinning now,but your vision was clear. Ok,that was definitely not normal.You leaned to the kitchen counter trying to figure out what was going on. Yeah okay it was obvious that you didnt eat anything than one apple the whole day and also that you never got more than three hours sleep per day the last weeks,and constantly overworked yourself without a singe break but you needed to work. Until now it was fine.You were fine.why were you suddenly feeling like this?

While the other guys teased,seungmin noticed that something was definitely off.ususally you would have snuggled up between them and joined the lighthearted jokes.he got up and walked over to you,laying a hand on your shoulder.

„Babes is everything okay?“ he asked you,looking into your eyes,searching for something he probably might not find.When you suddenly heard his voice next to you your head immediately shot up.You hadn’t heard him coming.You only noticed now that you were so focused on breathing because suddenly your breaths got thin and short. Chan now also noticed something was off,glancing over.

That shit was really scaring.You didn’t know what was going on,you couldn’t control your breaths anymore,your limbs slightly shaking and the weird feeling in your gut mixed with the spinning-pain in your head was so damn confusing. Seungmin was scared.you could tell.He asked you if you were having problems with breathing,he said you need to say something.Then he said your names a few times.But it was like you were trapped in a bubble somewhere wide away from him. He tilted your head up making you look at him.You didn’t know what to do.You clutched to his shirt,panic in the eyes,trying to regulate your breaths.

Seungmin noticed the tight grip on his shirt.Suddenly he also noticed your shaking,the look and the thin breaths.Why didn’t he notice sooner? Now all the other members were looking at you too. You didn’t even notice them going silent.You also sensed chan speaking.He looked at you.Was he speaking to you?You didn’t know.You didn’t care. You suddenly let out a loud sob,greeted with tears. Seungmin was now panicking as much as you did.

„H-hey y/nnie,please talk to me.Hey what is going on?“ his voice is shaky,and all the members look at you.The weird feelings,now all mixed together get stronger and stronger.Seungmin saw the cold pearls on your forehead.He continued his panicked rambling,trying to get a word out of you.The other members are now also stood up,but they are still around the table.

But then suddenly seungmin stops rambling. He hears as your breaths stock.Almost as if they got caught in your chest.Your legs and arms trembling a lot and your eyes searching for something,helpless. He says you need to breath,to focus on his voice,but you couldn’t. So he catches you in the last moment before you crash to the floor.

„Y/N!!“ All the members scream and run to you.Seungmin is holding you in his arms,first helpless.All the members voices mix with some of them cry or scream.All while he is holding you.All while you are not even breathing.

„Stop!!!“ seungmin suddenly yells. All the members go silent.His voice was stern,yet scared.

„Jeongin,get me a towel and cold water,chan call an ambulance,and the rest of you go a step back!“ If the situation wouldn’t have been so serious they would have teased him for playing leader but they all knew how much you meant to him. So they did was he said. Meanwhile he checked your pulse.It was still normal,but you didn’t breath. You didn’t breath. He didn’t know what to do so he did the first thing that came into his mind.He was thankful now,that he watched all these cheesy,hospital dramas with you at movie nights. Mouth to mouth resuscitation.

And it helped.you started coughing.He felt so relived that the sound of your breaths didn’t sound so stuck anymore.Then everything was really quick.and ambulance showed up and seungmin and chan drived with you in it to the hospital.The others wanted to come with you too but chan said they could come after,with the van.

In the ambulance chan spoke to the medic,calm like he always was. Seungmin held your hand,not once looking away from you. You opened your eyes. Where were you? Your eyes went big. „M-min?“ Seungmin immediately responded.He saw your scared look and said: „ Hey it’s okay y/nnie.You fainted and we were all so worried but it’s gonna be okay.We are just driving to the hospital real quick so we can check if everything is okay.“ He gently stroked your hair.You wanted to say so many things.That they didn’t have time for that.That you needed to work,to practice the dance.That you didn’t want to go to the hospital.But you remained silent.

It seemed like you fell asleep or maybe they gave you soemthing to sleep but when you woke up you were in a bed.It wasn’t your bed,it felt cold and unfamiliar.It was a hospital bed.As you looked around you saw the boys standing around a doctor that said something.You tried to concentrate on his voice.

„…. so that means Miss L/n isn’t seriously sick.She seems to have fainted from stress,lack of sleep and food and maybe there is something mental too,but we don’t know what she is thinking so maybe you guys could aske her if something is bothering or stressing her…“

You stopped listening. Of course you were stressed,you all were right?But you thought you balanced everything right.As soon as changbin noticed you were awake he walked over to you.The others immediately followed.Now they all stood around you.Should you say something?They all are silent but seungmin can’t hold it in any longer

„Y/n,why didn’t you tell us you were so stressed?We could have helped you,and you should have thought of a better schedule and god y/n you need to sleep!And i know you sometimes just forget eating when you are stressed but tell us!We can help you y/n,we want to help you.And if you feel like it’s getting too much then please come to us.“

He sounded so desperate,so worried and frustrated.You didn’t know if it was only you but wasn’t there also… diappointment?Of course you knew what seungmin meant.You knew what he was trying to say.But a little piece of you believed that his words meant you were still not working enough.A little voice,that was telling you that you shouldn’t have broke down.That this only showed that you were weak and vulnerable.You remembered that you should probably answer.You hated that your voice sounded so faint and weak.

„I’m trying.“

These two words burned in the boys chests. „Y/n,we know you are trying.You are giving your best and honestly you did even more for the comeback than me.But you don’t need to do this alone.I know something might tell you that you need to work harder,that you need to do this alone but it’s not like that you know.We are a group of nine.There are eight people that you can trust,that love you,that help and support you no matter what y/n.“ chan spoke up.His voice was calm,stern but filled with so much love.

These words slowly managed to get to you,to get into your mind. He was right.This was exactly what you thought but you never realized that it could hurt them,to see you like that. Were they thinking you didn’t trust them anymore?

„Guys...you know that i love you right? Chan you are right,that’s what i thought but not because i don’t trust you,i just felt like i need to work harder.You also do everything so perfect but i never bring so good achievements like you all do.“

„Y/n“ Seungmins voice was now less nervous and desperate „What are you talking about?Your achievements are as good as ours,often even better.And of course we know that you love us.“

Then it was silent again.You didn’t know what to say.All of a sudden felix started smiling and just ran nearer to you and almost hugged you to death. „You are choking mee“i said dramatically giggling.I was glad that the tension broke.Now the others started smiling to and they all joined into a big warm hug.

Maybe it was the warm feeling of having them all hug you,maybe it was the warm undertones in seungmins and chans voice but something made you believe their words. It was like your head was constantly underwater until now and suddenly you got pulled out the water.You finally remembered that you had 8 wonderful guys in your life who would help you,support you and do anything for you.

Bonus: (4 months later)

„Guys the album is released!“ you happily screamed.You all were sitting in front of a countdown since an hour,all nervous if the album would be liked by stays.

You all happily hugged each other.The others did not miss when seungmin was hugging you extra tight. They exchanged knowing grins. „Celebrate our hard work with ramen?“ you asked.the others all agreed,running into the kitchen. Seungmin took your wrist and stopped you in your tracks.The others were all in the kitchen by now,so you were standing alone in the living room. You turned around to him again.

„I’m proud of you Love.“

„What?it wasn’t just me who created this album and prepared the comeback.“ Not gonna talk about the fact he never called you love before and it made your heart flutter

„I’m proud that you actually let us help you,that you finally slept more than five hours again,that you always ate dinner with us and that you came crying to us when it got too much again.“

You quickly thought back of the past four months after what happened.You tried to make a better schedule again,and you managed to get your old sleeping habits back. The guys always took you with them when they were eating dinner,not letting you skip meals.If you were too tired seungmin would just take some of the food on a plate go into your room and watch a drama with you while you ate your food.You also remembered that night when you felt like things were getting so overwhelming again that you couldn’t face them alone so you went into the kitchen,crying and telling the guys how you felt.They took you into their middle,cuddling you and mumbling motivating and caring words, and they helped you even more after that.

You just smiled at him.Not a tired fake smile.A truly happy smile.Seungmin smiled back with his cute puppy smile.Then he pulled you nearer,pressing a soft,tender smile onto your lips.

„Let’s go to the others alright?“

[helpami-flaffy]

EPIC THE MUSICAL OPINIONS, VERY OPINIONS, VERY MINE.

IF YOU DON'T WANT SOME NEGATIVITY DON'T READ. THIS IS NOT PASSIVE AGGRESSIVE I SWEAR.

MOSTLY COMPILED AT NIGHT, SOME REVISION.

PLEASE DO NOT COME AT ME.

.....................

After this saga I'm left kind of perplexed about epic.

What is epic trying to say here? What's the musical's stance on ruthlessness?

Because it isn't very clear to me anymore.

Is it bad? Is it good and just? Is it a necessary evil? Is it worth becoming something monstrous just to achieve your goals?

The thing I'm trying to say is:

Is epic a tragedy or a triumph?

Until the vengeance saga I thought it was the former, but now I'm not so sure.

Throughout the story Odysseus takes desicions that either side with what I'll call the 'open arm mentality' or the 'ruthless' mentality.

He gets punished for both a number of times.

He kills Astianax so he doesn't have to fear his future vengeance.

He spares Polyphemus and that leads to 558 men dying.

He appeals to Circe's humanity and that leads her to freeing his men and helping him get to the underworld.

He sacrificed 6 men to Scylla and that leads to 'mutiny' and 'thunder bringer' where the rest of his crew dies and he ends up in calypso's island where she imprisoned him for 7 years.

First act of ruthlessness= good outcome

First act of open arms= bad outcome

Second act of open arms= good outcome

Second act of ruthlessness= bad outcome

(I forgot to add the sirens, that encounter is kinda strange tho.  Ody kills all of them but I wouldn't call that ruthlessness. Ruthlessness is doing whatever needs doing to get what you want. He needed to know how to get home, and killing the sirens after doesn't matter in that context. I guess it's good for future sailors? I'll count this as an altruistic positive I guess)

This breakdown isn't perfect, lots of other things happen and some things Ody does can't really be neatly categorized by this simple metric imo, but I'll continue anyway as it feels to me the story breaks down his actions in a sort of similar dichotomy.

All in all the 'good to bad' ratio seems pretty balanced, right? It's not always ruthlessness that wins the day, and 'open arms' solutions don't always work out.

So why does it feel like we're supposed to root for ruthless Odysseus? Why does it feel like the story wants us to believe that being the monster is a good if 'somewhat sad' outcome?

Why am I saying this? Well, it's 600 strikes.

Actually just- all the vengeance saga.

Why is what Ody does here supposed to be cool and awesome? Because, like, that is absolutely the angle here.

Complete with a, honestly absurd, anime power up and fighting-god-one-on-one moment.

Why does the story break down it's logic,  breaks suspension of disbelief (at least for me), to get Odysseus into a position were he can torture Poseidon into letting him go?

Wich?? Btw should not work??

Why is this how he wins?

Why are the ghosts of his friends and family no longer spectres of regrets for but terrifying promises of death?

What does this say? Was Odysseus wrong about their sacrifice? Was regret ever only a noose around his neck? I'm looking too deeply into this one lol.

In 'get in the water' we even get the obligatory appeal to Poseidon's mercy just to hammer down once again that 'open arms' doesn't work, even tho it's Athena's appeal to her father's mercy that set Odysseus free in the first place.

The saga ends with Poseidon asking Odysseus how he'll sleep at night after all of this and Ody, in admittedly the coldest line ever written on paper, says:

"Next to my wife"

...

This is cool.

Extremely cool even.

But that's kind of the problem I have with it.

The song ends in a badass way. This is meant to be the final zing to seal Odysseus' cool ass victory.

And in all of this, not once, does the story seem to recognize that...well...

Poseidon won.

Hell not even Poseidon recognized it!

I'm not even saying "OoOh if it was realistic Poseidon would have have won!" (Tho yeah, ask me about that, lol)

In the great ideological battle that's at the center of Epic: the musical, Poseidon was the ultimate victor.

Ruthless is what wins at the end, it's what gets Odysseus home. Odysseus might be a monster but he's a victorious one.

I feel people and the musical both don't really acknowledge that.

That even if Poseidon lost the battle he ultimately won the war.

Were is the irony? Where's the bitterness and sorrow? We're Poseidon's bloodied, mocking smirk revelling in his victory?

Is Epic a tragedy or a power fantasy?

[batz-uid]

Co-Frontman AU Seong Gi-Hun (Based on MY ART)

(This is based on my art and it's an AU!!! So it's canon divergence not canon so don't attack me 😭)

Okay I'll keep this kind of short 'cause I've been brainstorming and is still in the drafts but I needed to publish my ideas cause I'm quite open to new ideas and stuff.

enemies to "friends" to enemies again to enemies and lovers

Also Kinda Toxic (maybe some dubious consent)

⚠️Mentions of suicide attempt, violence, and sexual themes⚠️

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I'll start off with the main couple, Gi-hun and In-ho.

Gi-hun

He's the same as canon but I guess a little more traumatized (he just saw his best friend get killed in front of him)

Before he became the Co-Frontman, he basically was "caged" and literally believed for days that all his friends that helped in the rebellion was dead (Young-il included, he didn't know Young-il and In-ho was the same person yet).

Gi-hun actually did love Young-il; at first when he realized he loved him, Gi-hun believed it was because Young-il reminded of Sang-woo. But as time went on, Gi-hun did truly fell in love with Young-il.

Gi-hun had a lot of guilt, guilt with never telling Young-il that he loved him; so believing that Young-il wasn't in this world anymore and that everyone that he cared about was dead, broke the mirror in the bathroom, taking a shard and attempted to kill himself.

The only reason he didn't die was because the bathroom had a secret camera and In-ho saw that Gi-hun breaking the mirror so he ordered a pink guard to basically stop Gi-hun.

(In-ho was also near him when Gi-hun was recovering, checking up on him every single day)

When In-ho told the truth about who he is, lets just say Gi-hun didn't take it too well and wouldn't properly eat, sleep or even talk to In-ho anymore.

When In-ho made a proposal of Gi-hun joining him, Gi-hun at first rejected the idea, but after In-ho told him the rest of the rebels (minus the dead ones) were still alive, Gi-hun was still reluctant.

After In-ho basically threatened that he would kill them all (He wasn't going to kill everyone, he was going to let player 222 live cause she reminded him of his dead wife) Gi-hun finally agreed.

Maybe he might learn to love In-ho in the end

In-Ho

I'm a sucker for obsessive and possessive In-ho, so he is that in this AU.

He loves loves loves loves loves loves loves looks up to Gi-hun, after all Gi-hun was someone the opposite of him, Gi-hun came out of the games with his humanity still attached; something that In-ho didn't have.

When he was Young-il he didn't think he would fall more in love towards Gi-hun, but he did. (He fell first and fell harder 😨)

He replays the dalgona scene in his free time and it literally gets him hard and was stupidly jealous of Sang-woo and Jung-bae (Jealously definitely wasn't the main reason why Jung-bae died.)

He definitely doesn't look at Gi-hun's ass whenever Gi-hun arches, crouches or any other poses that shows how fat his ass is lol

When Gi-hun accepted to be his Co-Frontman, In-ho was elated. Like really overjoyed that he literally created rings with their numbers engraved inside of it for the both of them; he felt that this was the closest that he could have a wedding between the both of them. This also could one of the reason why Gi-hun's outfit is white.

When Gi-hun attempted suicide, In-ho didn't take it well (He killed the two guards that were supposed to look after Gi-hun) and stayed by his side until he recovered. He also put a lot of safety measures in every nook and crams of their rooms so Gi-hun wouldn't try to commit anymore.

Did I mention In-ho is overprotective, possessive and obsessive towards Gi-hun?

In-ho kind of forces Gi-hun to watch the games; but if Gi-hun doesn't want to continue watching it then In-ho wouldn't force him to continue.

In-ho also listens to Gi-hun and would almost (he won't stop the games or make the games too easy/making it unequal) do anything for him (He is such a simp for Gi-hun it's crazy 🔥)

Why does Gi-hun have a white outfit? It mostly to show that he still has his humanity compared to the dark outfit of In-ho. I wanted to show their contrast in how they view humanity. Gi-hun sees the good while In-ho sees the bad.

I have Gi-hun's outfit have a belt around the neck area and the waist to basically show that even though Gi-hun still has more freedom compared to him being a player; In-ho still "controls" him, Gi-hun isn't completely free from In-ho's grasp.

Why is Gi-hun's mask basically the same as In-ho's? One reason is because I literally didn't want to draw a brand new mask for Gi-hun, but another reason is to show that they both are still similar. They both were winners of their own year's games and both lost someone special to them because of the games. Also to show that Gi-hun is willing to sacrifice some people just so his goal can be accomplished, just like In-ho.

(And that's mostly it, I might add some stuff or even delete some parts; the AU would definitely change when S3 comes out)

If ya'll have questions or anything just ask!!!! I'm open to suggestions, critiques or anything else.

!ALSO PLEASE SOMEONE CREATE A FANFIC OF THIS. I REALLY WANT TO SEE THIS IN WRITING FORM! 😭😭😭😭😭😭

[brotherwtf]

Scientist or Mathematician Gale being guarded by spy Bucky.

oh now this one is very interesting,, hmm let's see let's see

Gale is a well respected scientist, got his PhD at Harvard in astrophysics and continues to research and teach

However, some stuff he's been presenting recently has put a target on his back and he's constantly in danger whenever he goes

He's put under the protection of an agent, Bucky, who's supposed to stay with him at all times, almost like a bodyguard but mostly to keep him safe and transport him to safe houses

Gale doesn't think he needs the protection, he's a scientist, no one actually wants him dead, but Bucky is adamant on staying with him the whole time

What if he's speaking at some point and someone comes into the stage and threatens to kill him, has a gun out and everything, and only then does Gale realize he's in trouble

Insert Bucky being all "I told you so", and Gale rolls his eyes and apologizes for doubting him

They spend a lot of time together moving across the country, Gale still tries to do some research while Bucky just sits back and makes fun of him (affectionate)

Gale is trying to get Bucky to tell him his real name, but Bucky says something stupid like "That's only reserved for my family and my lover" and now Gale is dead set on finding out his name

Of course they start to care for each other deeply while Bucky is taking care of Gale; Gale will hound Bucky about not getting enough sleep and Bucky will push him off, swears it's fine and he can sleep later

Imagining them on a train together where there's ONLY ONE BED (and the crowd goes wild) and Bucky says he can sleep in the chair, but Gale insists on having him sleep in the bed and hilarity ensues

Cue them waking up in each other's arms and Gale just so absolutely flustered while Bucky has a smirk on his face and Gale asks Bucky to never speak of it again

What if they get intercepted before they get to a safehouse and Gale is in real danger, getting shot at and chased through the train station while Bucky tries to protect him

Oh no!! Bucky gets hurt!! and Gale has to get them out of this situation!! He's able to heroically drag Bucky to a hotel room away from the danger and just shakes the entire time bcs Bucky is really hurt

Here's how the conversation goes:

"Come on Bucky, don't die on me, come on"

"I ain't gonna die Gale, just, fuck, come on I'm losing a lot of blood,"

"I know, god I know, I just.... I can't lose you, Bucky" "My name's John,"

"John?"

"Yeah kinda silly, ain't it? Not as big and tough sounding as Bucky,"

"John... what does that make me then? Your family or your lover?"

"Take a wild guess"

and then they kiss for like four hours even though John is still technically hurt lol

I really liked this prompt!! it made me think of some stuff I never would have, thank you for the ask!! lmk if y'all have anymore hcs for this concept

[venriliz]

10 random facts about me

got tagged by @druidberries @alientown @papermint-airplane TY <3

u literally tagged the most boring person but that's probably what half of all people think of themselves, huh? °-° i might regurgitate some of the facts i used for my introduction post in the sims of tumblr community. i wrote a lot so i'll put a cut with the facts below here. °-°

my birthday is the 4th of july and when i was a kid (prolly like 5 or 6) i saw an american parade on the news on tv. after i asked my dad why these people are celebrating he literally told me that they're celebrating my birthday °_° i believed for several years that americans celebrated my fucking birthday bc i wasn't aware of independence day existing lmfao. my dad just loved fooling me V.V he might be dead but i'm still holding that grudge lol.

i'm kinda lucky to be alive i guess? when i was a kid i was hit by a car in what we in germany call "Spielstraße" which is kinda like a street in dense neighborhoods where kids are allowed to play freely and cars aren't allowed to go faster than 7 kph/4.3 mph. i don't now how fast the driver was but it probably was something around 30 kph/18 mph. i didn't have very bad injuries but still °-° i could've died.

i was a typical horse girl as a kid (i still like horses but i'm not riding anymore because i'm a very old 20-something with knee problems lol) and i was fucking INSUFFERABLE abt it.

i don't want to have kids or get married. i'm not one of those people who hate children like i love my nieces and my nephew BUT i have a lot of mental health issues and can't possibly take care of another life if i can barely take care of myself properly, right? marriage to me is just a weird concept. i can totally respect people getting married and if i'm invited to a wedding i'm obviously attending but i personally can't really subscribe to the idea of binding myself to someone with a piece of paper and it then being such a stupid process when it doesn't work out. also... it costs too much money lol

i have kind of an affinity for finding missing pets (i also photograph every missing poster i see so i guess that helps with recognizing them?)

i was NOT good at school like i kinda sucked and i can probably blame a mixture of mental health issues, trouble at home and also being a lazy teenager that just wasn't really built for school life lol. i barely managed to get the "Mittlere Reife" (if you're german u know what i mean. i could explain what that means but explaining the german school system would take years). english, german and biology were my only good classes. i absolutely hated math like we're lifelong enemies.

speaking of germany, i am from germany or to be more specific from the most northern region nearest to the danish border and i LOVE living here. the north and baltic sea are close to me and people here are usually quite chill. the only thing i don't like that much abt living here is kind of the regional cuisine bc a lot of it is fish and i don't like eating fish T.T

i HATE going shopping (i'm an online shopper °-° EMP my beloved) and my friends just don't take me with them on shopping trips bc they know i'll kill the mood by complaining like a child and wanting to go back home lmfao

the first sims game for me was the og Sims and i almost fried my dad's old ass pc playing it. my first vivid memory of the game was noticing that here and there random houses appeard out of seemingly nowhere. the goths got a new house that didn't fit their vibe for example lol. years later my dad told me that he used to play the game when i was sleeping and just built these houses lmfao. so i guess my dad was an og simmer oO.

i remember 9/11 (yes i'm old enough don't age shame me T.T). i was in kindergarten at that time and just came home from a friends house when the towers fell. i saw it on tv and even though i was very young i understood that a lot of people were getting hurt. definitely had an impact on me as a kid.

yeah that's it. i rambled a lot but yeah °-°

tagging @landgraabbed @olli-online @living-undead @moonwoodhollow @microscotch @crazy-lazy-elder-sims @aniraklova @tiallussims @skaterboi108 @faerun-s @cristalviper @none-of-these-days @fadingforrest @acuar-io @elderwisp @lilamausmaus @simpleratattack @azeterna @butteredfrogs @mmonetsims and everybody else who reads this! HA!

[bluewhitehues]

Hug | Kim Mingyu

Summary: You secretly like your bestfriend chan,he has no idea and sets you up on a blind date with his friend and hyung Mingyu.

Genre: Angst? (Little bit), comfort, strangers to lovers, fluff

Pairing : Idol Kim Mingyu × (f) reader

Warning: mentions of anxiety

Part 3

The drive to your apartment was quite awkward, mingyu dropped you off and you guys parted ways saying bye.

There was a longing in Mingyu's heart.. he really had prayed and hoped that you both will get along, may be will go on few more dates to know each other . But alas that didn't happen.

After going home you showered and made yourself some quick dinner ...you were eating when you got Chan's call, at that moment all you wanted to do was curse at him shout at him so you picked up his call, " you should've told me if you had a death wish why pull such a stunt chan? " you were talking so calmly he got scared "hey why are you talking like that you're scaring meeee"

"YOU SHOULD BE SCARED CAUSE THE MOMENT I SEE YOU IM GOING TO KILL YOU, DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA WHAT YOU DID , YOU SENT ME ON A DATE WITH KIM MINGYU DO YOU KNOW WHO HE'S? LIKE YOU SHOULD'VE ATLEAST WARNED ME , IM NOT A CELEBRITY IM A NORMAL PERSON-"

He cut you off "FIRST OF ALL STOP SHOUTING..and what's wrong with it if he's a celebrity and you're not? I'm also an idol and you're bestfriends with me I don't see any problem here? And about the other thing ..y/n I'm really sorry I lied about it being a blind date but if I had told you you'd have said no.. he really likes you ,that idiot thought we both are a thing can you imagine lol, and then I guessed that he likes you and he didn't deny so I came up with this plan ...also he thought you knew and said yes to the date with him ,he didn't know okayy? He might be coming for me I'm so dead ...see.. I worked so hard for you and you're not even grateful-,"

You huffed loudly "Grateful my a$$.. you should not do this with anyone's feelings chan he must've felt so bad he thought I said yes and was all excited do you know how bad Im feeling?"

Now chan got alarmed , "hold on, why are you feeling so bad? WAIT TF UP DID YOU BY ANY CHANCE SAY NO TO HIM ??? I SWEAR TO GOD Y/N-"

And now in this one fine moment your pretty brain realised you gotta tell chan ..AND WHAT WILL YOU TELL HIM ???? OMG ...I said no to Mingyu because I like you? Because I like someone else? He knows literally everyone in your life and would not believe your lie and now you're freaking out you don't even have mingyu's number, what if you tell one lie and mingyu tells another you'd be caught right away so no you need to talk to Mingyu.

So you blurt out, "N-NOOO we just- we just went through it...AND OMG I'M REMEMBERING IT JUST NOW I left my purse in his car and I don't even have his number IT'S ALL YOUR FAULT send me his number right nowww" and you saved the moment just like that (you hoped it didn't sound too fake or extra)

Chan thinks something is fishy but thinks he'll find out anyway so he doesn't press you anymore.."you couldn't even ask for his number yourself seriously y/n you've got no game-" That brat thrives on teasing and annoying you.

"if you don't shut up and just send me his number right now you won't only have to worry about mingyu coming for you... sleep with one eye open cause I'm also coming for you-"

He laughs at you, " ok, okay let's all calm down..check your messages I sent the number..also you owe me full explanation and details tomorrow"

"whateverrrr bye."

"hey atleast tell me how was the date."

"NO.. someone once said *That's all you're getting* " you quoted his words from when you asked him about who is gonna be your date.

He whined about how that wasn't fair before you ended the call.

You were nervous as fuvk because what are you going to say to Mingyu it already feels bad enough but now you've to come up with a plan to tell chan. So before chan could go to Mingyu,you called him.

After dropping you off Mingyu went to his and wonwoo's shared apartment, where as soon as he entered wonwoo asked him about the date. Mingyu said it was okay, good, wonwoo then asked him why does he look so sad ..mingyu said he doesn't think it'll work out that's why ..and asks wonwoo to not to tell others about anything because he knew just like that all of them will know, that means chan will know as well and he promised you he would not let him know,he'll keep it a secret.

He was about to go to bed when you called him he was surprised but he picked up the call.

"uh Hello Mingyu? It's me y/n ...sorry ,did I disturb you?"

"Hey no you didn't ..what's up everything ok? "

"yeah everything's fine just uh Chan called me actually and I don't know what to tell him..I just I thought we should tell him the same thing so he wouldn't doubt ...I'm sorry I feel terrible to trouble you like this".

"I told you not to say sorry ..you can talk to me comfortably just how you talk to your friends it's ok .. "

"okay I won't say sorry again."

He smiled a little ..he has never talked to you that much, that too on call it's first time hearing your voice..he thinks you sound so sweet and he wishes he'd get to talk to you more often.."hmm that's good ..also about chan what options do we have?"

"if I say I like someone else he won't believe me so that's out of the option ..and If I say I said no he'll ask me the reason.." you sighed "I can't seem to find any reason to tell him"

"I see um then...we can just say we decided to be just friends? "

"that sounds good" you thought that's the safest answer.

"yeah soo.. is it ok for us to be friends? " He really wanted you to say yes .. he'd manage with just that.. being your friend.

You can't see him yet you can picture his hopeful eyes..."will you be ok?..with being my friend" You ask.

Mingyu thinks a little ..he thinks he'll take it as much as close he'll be able to stay with you he'll take it, it is dangerous but right now his heart,mind, soul everything just decides that yes they want it..

"Honestly, I've mostly seen you from distance yet I thought you were amazing so..I...I would like to be your friend and who knows someday you'll realise I'm hotter than chan and finally confess to me ..wow I would like to see that day." He's mischievously smiling right now and then he hears it your laugh..one of his most favourite things in the world ..he could hear it forever.

You laugh.."Mingyu seriously" he also laughs a little with you.

"I'd like to be your friend too mingyu but ...I know how it's like to be friends with someone you like..and I wouldn't recommend that ...it can be hard sometimes." You don't want to think about those moments again when you're trying to move on but you wouldn't want mingyu to feel like that as well.

He sighs," well I'm a tough guy " he's not...but he'd do anything to get to know you better ..he doesn't want to regret anything in his life.

"Ok then it's settled ... we're friends from now on"...you're smiling now

"yeah we are ...I like it" he's smiles softly.

.

.

Author's note: Hey everyone this is it for today, hope you enjoy it❤️

Part 4 👇🏻

[oogaboogaspookyman]

Lmfao N says fuck fic how original

[SNAP]

"So, N..." Uzi sits down on her Spinny Chair Of Genius™, as she likes to call it, as N sits on a beanbag. "Since i am your new apparent admin, this means i have some form of control over you and V, yeah?"

"I guess?" N shrugs "I mean- i don't know, i'm not the human that made me, i don't know my inner workings..."

He suddenly has a small thought start to grow in his head, and immediately lets it slip out of curiosity. "Wh- what are you trying to do?? Are you gonna look through my settings..?" He scratches his head in a bashful manner, blushy as it's literally some very delicate and probably private stuff.

Uzi grins like the absolute gremlin she is, sharp teeth shining like the blade of a knife, as she fidgets with her fingers at the most chaotic thought she's had so far. Key word being: so far.

"I'm just gonna make a test, nothing harmful~" She giggles. N looks at Uzi with a metaphorical drop of sweat running down his visor as he thinks of the times Cyn giggled back in the mansion. She definetly made giggles way less scary than Uzi's.

Next day...

It started with Uzi's alarm going off. She slaps her own visor, turning it off, and promptly gets up. N seems to be deep in his sleep... Wonder what he's dreaming about? She kinda hopes it's her, but it's not something she'll reveal to any one schmuck at ALL, so thank me later.

i don't want to kill you. i don't want to kill anymore. i need you. don't go. don't leave me. please. i don't want to kill you. the universe is at risk. i can't lose more people in my life. i have to protect the universe. but you are my universe. please. no. don't go. please. i love you. i'm sorry.

XDXDXDXDXDXDXDXDXDXDXDXDXDXDXDXDXDXDXDXDDISASSEMBLYREQUIREDXDXDXDXDXDXDXDXDXDXDXDXDXDXDXDXDXDXDXDXDXDXDXD

M1S5 M3? :)

"N!!" He wakes up screaming, startling Uzi who's sitting conviniently really close and in front of him. On top of his lap. Like in those bits in movies where the love interest is uncomfortably close to the main character. Like that. Yeah.

"Hi Uziii...??" N whispers in bashful surprise as she processes the situation. Okay so i'm sitting here right in front of him and he just woke up and sat up really close to my face it's looking like something else is gonna happen and oh my robo-god i am going to fuckin' pass out hhhhh-

"aaaaaooOKAYWEGOTTAGOORELSEWERELATETOTHEFUCKINGSCHOOLSHITAAAA" N yelps Uzi pushes him away by the face in a rush. N gets back up to yell (but like- not angry or anything, more like yelling so she hears him clearly) "Language! Your dad's around, you know?? It's why i say"biscuits" instead, i don't wanna be rude!". It's a long pause of silence as he thinks, realizing... "How can you even swear at all by the way???"

It started with a horrible, terrifying, traumatic, very lore heavy nightmare along with a scare and rush to school. This day is certainly not gonna go all too well and i am here for it he's boutta SNAP lol.

Next it was Lizzy doing her usual popular girl spoiled brat bullshit, and N cannot kill her because murder as a whole is wrong and it's no solution to anything at all. Uzi knows this and it bothers her so much more than i can describe.

Next was the teacher being this smug idiot doing whatever, giving the class a dumb thing to do without caring about anything, only looking through his phone either busy with other work or straight up messing around. Uzi and N are very much bothered by this and Uzi wants to speak up... Which she does. To no avail, as the teacher ran out of fucks to give. N just tolerates and tries to lighten up the mood by being his friendly self (got a dude and a chick head over heels for him and he doesn't realize, thinks they're just extra friendly), but it's mostly very little effect. All because he doesn't wanna be rude. It's gonna get real soon enough though.

Next was the discrimation towards N, as he is a Disassembly Drone and they're pretty scared of him... Well at least it's not ALL of them, some are very much enjoying his presence. Why that is i'll tell you in the dms because i don't think i can say it here lmfao.

Next was the teasing. Yes some drones in the school figured out the whole Nuzi shebang and are now teasing them about it. "Hey purple girl, how's the biting like?", "How does your murder buddy kiss? I'm just curious~", "How's it like living with a small girl like her? Bet she likes it when you pick her up~", "N you are so much better than her, there's that other murderous girl out there that killed Doll's parents, she seems right up your ally!", and it just doesn't stop. Ever. N is genuinely bothered by this, he's very uncomfortable.

Inconvience after inconvience, minor and major, impactful and not, it just doesn't friggin' STOP.

Luckily that's all there is, they're going home! Albeit not very happy but they're going to their comfortable space of a home nonetheless!

But i did say he's gonna snap at some point.

"Uzi, have you seen my glasses? I gotta read something important" Says Khan, not actually needing glasses as he's a robot, he can see just fine, but everyone in Copper 9 is all mimicking humans so Khan doesn't realize that and needs glasses anyway.

"I'm getting them, Mr. Uzi!" N chirps, happy to help like all the time, as he jumps up from his seat and walks around, looking for Khan's glasses. "Thanks, Uzi's very lucky to have you as this potential boyfriend!" Uzi lets out a very UNHOLY screech of embarrassment as she yells "HE'S NOT MY BOYFRIEND". N does sigh at this, but he's too busy looking for Khan's glasses to care.

"Ooh! There you are!" N whips out a pair of glasses from inside... Uzi's wardrobe?? Does she prank him often??? Anywho, he found the glasses!

"I got 'em Mr. Uzi!! I found them in Uzi's wardrobe which is very weird and raises a few questions but i found them nonetheless!!" Khan processes the statement and wheezes as a response.

"What? What's funny??" N is very confused. Khan chuckles as he pats N in the back, "What just happened while i was sleeping was that Uzi just hid them away as a prank of sorts, she's very mischievous!" He's giggling as he explains, and so does N because come on it's funny how could he not?

Oh and N drops the glasses in his giggle fit. Resulting in them breaking upon landing. They stop laughing as they notice this.

N's eye twitches as his hands vibrate.

"N it's okay, i'll just get new ones-" says Khan, immediately interrupted by the next paragraph under this one

"MOTHERFUCKER!!!"

Khan is startled and frozen up in shock. Uzi heard that from the other room and is also shocked. If there were birds in Copper 9 they would fly away in flocks.

"Are you- are you okay-" Khan's interrupted again. "NO I'M NOT OKAY SHIT JUST KEPT HAPPENING AND I'M FUCKING PISSED ABOUT THAT AND BECAUSE I COULDN'T FUCKING DO ANYTHING ABOUT IT. SON OF A BITCH THEY KEPT ON TEASING ME AND BEING WEIRD AROUND ME AND OH MY FUCKING GOD WHY CAN'T I JUST BE TREATED LIKE A NORMAL FUCKING DRONE?!?!?!"

Khan is frozen in shock as Uzi silently giggles to herself from the other room. "It worked! I turned off his filter holy shit it worked eheheheheee!"

"I'M... I'm going outside for a breather, be right fuckin' back" N storms out through the front entrance, as Khan holds a hand out trying to stop him, "it's sunny outside, careful-" but it was too late.

"FUUCK!!" And so N storms right back in, with burns on his casing, "I'm going to Uzi's room then"

"I DID IT!!" Uzi whisper-yells to herself. Somehow.

Twas a very loud and messy day, hope you enjoyed this lmao

[samthecookielord]

(Intro) - (Previous)

With a bit of convincing, Ivor gets Jesse to take a potion of eepiness! yay!

And with that, you get Jesse to take a goddamn nap already. You only realize after they’re already snoozin' that you probably should have kept them awake to teleport everyone back

Oops lol.

So you have to take them back on foot. ‘Cause they snooze for a while. Ivor and the entire redstone block he added to the potion <33

On the way, Jesse talks in their sleep! How cute and quirky of them. They say things like “we need to get rid of the sun, it’s bad for him” and “i gotta kill romeo” because they’re just so silly and quirky.

The player regains control of Jesse. The first thing they see when they wake up is a picture frame. It’s the picture from before except they fixed it and jesse isn’t obscured anymore. Maybe there’s like notes from each of the friends next to it. insert another group hug here. We don’t have a ton of ideas for this episode lolll i guess it’s like a slice of life episode about repairing your relationship with the beacontown citizens? Also stella is there! Stella probably had a silly sitcom B plot while all the wacky stuff with the main cast was happening. Maybe she made up with Lluna too. We love to see it

Also you can show Twoben to the guy with the pigs. You know the one. You can show him Twoben. And Twoben’s little booties. Also maybe kevin from stampy is there because why the hell not. omg yay

Radar is now honest about being a zombie and you get him an umbrella so he can walk around during the day without overheating. Since you’re god you can just set the time to night if need be anyway. Provided you light up beacontown really good. Also you go to him privately and tell him that if he wants to quit his job on account of the manslaughter that would be ok

Jesse: Hey… Radar: Yeah? Jesse: Just so you know, if you don't... feel comfortable still working here, I get that, and it's okay. I can help you find someplace else, if you want.

Radar thinks for a moment.

Radar: Actually, I think I’ll be okay.  Jesse: Really? Radar: Yeah. It was… really scary, but we’re friends. I know you never wanted to hurt me, and it was scary for you too. It’d be kind of nice to stick together, I don’t know. Jesse: If you’re sure.

Radar goes to Romeo to help make sense of his notes on Jesse’s powers. He is the only one who can do this because he is really good at not immediately punching him for everything even if he really wanted to. He is so brave. Gold star for him.

and then uhhhh that's the end of the doc! aside from dedicated episode to oc shenanigans. theres probably a lot we missed simply due to forgetting to put it on the doc LOL but we hope you enjoyed!

...

it's not over yet?

(? You can now play as Radar)

[kawareo]

For no particular reason, what’s a line/song that reminds you of your durgestarion ship? Both pre- and post-tadpole since I haven’t decided on said no-particular reason.

Hi Novae :) Very excited for that no-particular reason 👀👀

If Shayfer James is my top Durgetash music, then Nico Collins is the one for the angsty disaster that are Durgestarion. Hate me is one I listened to a lot while writing Unsaved, and a lot of verses work for them (obviously Astarion's POV)

Got both feet on the edge Are you gonna come and save me? I'll take one final step All you have to do is make me

Damn you always get your way Guess it's written in your nature You know everything to say Just as long as I'm in danger

I know that I'm stupid, I make a mistake And repeat it a million times But it's better to see your familiar face Even though it's been killing my mind

Or this line from I'm So Sorry;

You must live a fucking nightmare Awake and in your dreams Looking for someone to hold your misery

And while I don't want to get too into spoilers for their relationship post-tadpoles since I'm really excited to build it up, song GRRRLS is very nice for it, as well as pre-tadpoles

I am the latest colors, I sing the newest songs I read all the lyrics, so I can sing along I am the latest colors, I stand above my throne Waiting for an invite to never come along

More under cut because i dont wanna spam lol

Be nice to me by Front bottoms! works so well for both of them, especially post tadpoles!

What's it matter anymore? You believe the lies I tell There's no meaning to words But we still sing these songs well And we all left it alone I'm sure it will work itself out fine They are playing with your numbers And we are running out of time

You're a killer and I'm your best friend I think it's unfair, your situation You say I'm changing, Sorry I didn't know I had to stay the same Can we talk about this later? Your voice is driving me insane

I try to write you poems, but the words they don't make sense The hand tries to grip the pencil, but the fingers are too tense I try to show emotion, but my eyes won't seem to wet I'd love to tell you stories, but I can't remember how they went

Young minds by Rare Americans is one that's less negative!

I know I don't always treat you right I get fucked up to drown out, the noise inside I've felt alone my whole life

But don't give up on me Cuz I'll show you the man that I can be We're learning as we go Young minds, in a world, that we don't know Young minds with a long way to go

Another really nice one is anything from April to Death by Flower Face

I think I saw him slow-mo crashing on the interstate Think I saw him sleeping through a hurricane He's a violent man and his heart's decayed He's a liar, but I just can't stay away

This one is more just for Tadpoled Strike, but entire song Bordeline by Nico Collins

I'm in purgatory Middle of the story Pulling back and forth from surrender and glory All the pressure internally It could very well be the death of me

This is my favorite verse but it really is the whole song

But if I had to just chose one I'd go with "What's it matter anymore? You believe the lies I tell, There's no meaning to words, But we still sing these songs well" (Astarion) or "I try to show emotion, but my eyes won't seem to wet, I'd love to tell you stories, but I can't remember how they went" (Strike) or anything else from Be Nice to Me

[bthump]

hi! i wanted your opinion on something, if you are interested in this of course. i was thinking how guts still looks for griff's attention, even after everything. his behavior has changed tho, as seen in elfhelm when he is questioned and he does not reply in rage as he may have earlier. why do you think this change happened? do you think there is a way guts could have lived on ''letting go of his obsession'' and be satisfied? and thirdly, what do u think would happen if ngriff gave attention to guts finally?

Oof, sorry for the wait, this got buried in my inbox and I forgot about it til I went back a page and saw it again.

I think the biggest difference between Guts needing Griffith's attention in the Black Swordsman arc and Guts trying to move on in the Millenium Falcon/Fantasia arc, is that NeoGriffith was born, told Guts he doesn't think about him at all, and left lol.

I think it kind of made Guts' need to force Griffith to acknowledge him feel futile.

Griffith appearing human now rather than demonic might also have an impact, since Guts says seeing him looking like the old Griffith made him forget his urge to kill. It's probably easier to move on from your revenge campaign when a part of you is now reluctant to kill the guy because he looks exactly like the dude you were in love with.

Also the fact that he has a different goal helps too - while he's focused on taking Casca to Elfhelm he has a distraction. I think he's also lowkey hoping that when Casca gets her mind back they can get back together and that will also help him forget Griffith, the way he was able to bury his realization that Griffith loved him and threw his life away because of him, after sleeping with her the first time.

Then that didn't work out and Griffith showed up naked in front of him and Guts still couldn't touch him and now he's having a breakdown all about Griffith lol, so he didn't manage to actually move on.

I think for Guts to actually move on he'd have to acknowledge his very complicated feelings towards Griffith. The hate, but also the love, the guilt, the inadequacy, the loneliness, the regret, the fear, etc. He'd have to talk it through with someone, I guess kinda like his rambling flashback to Casca mid-sex, and then he'd have to start over with new friends and a more emotionally open attitude with them, rather than the mysterious broody thing he's got going on.

And if Griffith did give him attention again, I think Guts would drop all attempts to move on, and if that attention was positive he'd even drop all attempts to kill him and just straight up reconcile. I mean narratively I think it's theoretically possible for a version of Berserk to have Guts manage to move on, and for Griffith's attention to be a test that he passes, essentially, but based on where we're at now with Guts having a breakdown after fighting him I don't think that's how this version of Berserk is going lol. I don't expect Guts to reconcile with him either in any way but maybe a dying confession of some sort, but like, hypothetically, in a fanfic type scenario, it's so easy for me to see Guts forgiving NGriff.

Guts' sense of morality is based pretty much entirely on his social circle and his sympathy for children. He doesn't care about anything else, so it doesn't matter to him that Griffith filled the world with dragons and trolls and stuff. All he cares about is his dead friends and Casca's rape, and if NeoGriffith expressed regret over that, and/or suggested that Femto was a different version of himself and he's not that demon anymore but more like the old Griffith (similar to Guts' Beast of Darkness), Guts would no longer blame him, and imo he'd leap at the chance to reconcile. He wanted that chance back at the Hill of Swords, when he was searching for a trace of the old Griffith in NGriff, and demanded to know if he feels anything now. He didn't get it, and he still moped like Charlie Brown after NeoGriffith "deserted" him lol.

So yeah, I don't think Guts would have any reason to maintain his hate, and he wouldn't want to. He'd be glad to have an excuse to return to him, imo.

And if Griffith's attention was negative, like say, he realizes he's still in love and goes out to kill Guts to save himself from it, then Guts would consciously do everything in his power to kill him, including becoming a monster, but subconsciously might hesitate (as would Griffith in this scenario) and ideally they'd semi-purposefully die together. Would love to see this happen in canon.

Thanks for the ask!

[bamboobrat]

succession s4 e5 recap: swedish elon and his logan roy tribute band

time is a flat circle and we are back to ken hyping himself listening to rap, driving to the office.

anyone feeling nostalgic yet?

he is immediately caught off guard by the fact that roman and shiv are already there.

also he seems like the worst boss ever.

i really don't like ken when he is not hitting rock bottom.

(there is a movie about a sleeping robot in a cave that takes up too much time in this episode. let's not get into all that)

the old guard checks up on the CE-bros before their trip to norway.

matchy matchy&lt;3

turns out mattson wants them all there (why wouldn't he?) so THE GANG IS GOING TO NORWAY! lets bleed the swede!*

*as a norwegian, i approve this message

mortality has set into team krank, as they put on compression socks before the flight.

krank is not here to have fun. krank has no young mistress to impress. krank is serious.

shiv has noticed ken's leaks to the media from last week because she is boss. it's the comeback we've been waiting for.

but most importantly, she is waging a very important war against tom and his stupid new sneakers:

the sibs say they can kill tom for her. that's brotherly love.

hugo is not having a good time.

i am tho.

gerri rallies the troops by shitting on europeans.

yes mommy tell me i'm weak because i have free healthcare! sit on my face

gerri for CEO. always.

they accurately depict what it is like driving in norway:

(this is why i don't have my licence)

the gang arrives in the motherland and it's beautiful, but rainy (so authentic) and are all like WHY THESE WOOD CABINS SO SMALL?!

ironic because jeremy lives in fucking denmark.

anyway, whatever this is:

I DO NOT APPROVE!

the trip up to mount olympus is interrupted by con saying he can send a picture of their dead dad to the group chat.

nobody wants to see it.

also, marcia is putting logan in a kilt like the fucking bay city rollers and con had to cancel a room full of working class whites in cleveland. the sacrifice.

they give con carte blanche for the whole funeral thing, which is probably a terrible decision.

the funeral is going to be one big campaign rally, i'm serious.

the others have to settle for a nice lil scandi brunch spread. what a hard life.

i don't say this often, but i would be hugo in this scenario, piling onto my plate like it's nobody's business.

karolina has a cute lesbian moment.

she says something in swedish at some point, but let me tell you, i understand swedish and i didn't even pick up on it. no shade to dag, but lol.

hugo doesn't understand how ski jumping works.

i thank the writers for putting this joke in there, even if literally no one other than random scandi people will get it.

it's like the opposite of danny boyle's the beach<3 give back to the community<3

roman enters negotiations and puts his fingers in the caviar.

you think i didn't notice? after all this time, you must know i notice everything.

the CE-bros make the village elders proud, as mattson offers 187 per share as long as he gets ATN.

also, gerri does a second take looking back at roman. these are the crumbs i am destined to live on, i guess. roman doesn't want to give up ATN tho, probably because 1) his dad wanted ATN 2) his dad told him he wouldn't make it at pierce and belongs at ATN 3) he is, somehow, the most rational of the siblings right now????

speaking of rational: how are we feeling about the shiv/mattson potential here? i honestly have zero objections.

shiv is like fuck yeah, sell ATN, that shit is toxic.

agreed, but who gave mencken an open line to ATN-meetings? sounds like something logan told cyd to do during one of those late night calls.

"even dad had a line" rings true zero percent. pass.

get rid of atn. word is, they don't even have tucker carlson anymore? just keep a sweater, much less racist.

we get some important leo dicap representation:

and greg is the bringer of all that is exposition, telling us there is a kill list with 8 to 9 names, ever evolving.

now, as most readers of these recaps would know, i would like to avoid spending any time on greg whatsoever (made even more poignant by the recent rumors about nick), however, this must be one of the best exchanges of dialogue ever made:

greg: da fam shiv: da fuck

that's all.

tom tells the swedes that americans don't care about the rest of the world and it's funny because it's true.

and alex being like "you're ALL related?!"

i see you, succession writers, i see you.

mattson calls waystar a parts shop and has a good take on right wing media:

"i dont think news for angry, old men works"

instead, he opts for bloomberg grey: simple, cheap, huge, ikea'd to fuck. i do love ikea.

he calls the sibs a tribute band which is harsh. even for a scandi, it's fucking harsh.

anyway, SAUNA! SAUNA! SAUNA!

GERRI. IN. SAUNA! (chant with me)

i will never forget what the succession writers took from me.

krank out here just chilling.

i've never shipped anyone more.

we are introduced to ebba. i can tell i'd have more to say on this in any other situation, but it just feels weird (all norwegian know each other, i guess).

anyone else here for the shiv/mattson dynamic?

i'm sorry, i kind of ship it????

ken wants to tank the deal and roman immediately calls him out on his destructive bullshit:

and then immediately caves.

"i think we are good at running the ship" they say after doing it for approximately 24 hours.

i wish i had their confidence.

also, pinky can't dance, according to ken, so they keep shiv out. meanwhile, she gets cozy with lukas, who asks her about her marriage (bad) and tells her he sends liters of blood to ebba (also bad).

shiv shows us why she is paid the big bucks for political advice:

we don't see the end of their night, so i'm just going to assume they fucked. because she's worth it.

also, talking up gerri and karolina? girlies stick together<3

big bi vibes here. huge. idc if she's pregnant and drinking.

meanwhile, the CE-bros use greg to leak that the negotiations are souring. why would you trust greg with anything?

in an attempt to fuck the deal, the CE-bros show a terrible film to the swedish team, as if being scandi doesn't mean you've sat through enough terrible cinema already....

we get the strangest fight in tv history:

lol @ us for thinking this was an important moment for the two of them and then it's a fight about white sneakers and fat earlobes.

i sure hope shiv fucked lukas.

roman receives a photo of his dead dad and it doesn't really put him in the right place to negotiate with mattson:

ouch.

leave it to kieran to make an emmy-worthy speech across from alex skarsgaard peeing.

the plan was: tank the deal, but in a subtle way. what they did: try and tank the deal, but in a not very subtle way. did the deal tank: no.

i hope you understand.

the question is, if a deal collapses in the woods and no one hears it, is it a SEC violation?

mattson ends up offering 192 per share. karl jizzes his pants.

shiv gives the little spelunker tom a lil treat, telling him to fire cyd.

then she asks him out?

and ignores him again because she is taking a call from mattson?

idk my dudes, but i'm into this shiv comeback.

mattson seems happy and flirty and i sure as shit hope this goes somewhere.

as long as it doesn't involve liters of frozen blood.

i have a feeling it will be all good vibes until he learns about her pregnancy. there's always something rotten in the state of denmark (or norway, or sweden, but it's all the same).

the waystar-team receives the kill list after the offer and it's very stressful for a few people who made themselves suffer through a session in the sauna:

not on the kill list: karolina gerri tom because shiv fucking did the thing!!

oh, and karl and frank are on the kill list, but i think they are just fine.

maybe the real treasure was the compression socks we made along the way.

[rollercoasterwords]

Fanfic writer asks — 4, 5, and/or 20!

hi!!

4. Share a headcanon about (character name) in (story title)!

left it open not sure if i'm mean 2 do this for one of my own stories or just any story...suppose i will take this opportunity 2 weigh in on the reg birthday debate & say that i see him as a capricorn. could perhaps be convinced of virgo as well...but that boy is not a cancer sorry

5. Is there a tiny detail in one of your fics that you feel goes tragically unnoticed?

not sure if it's something that's been noticed/brought up before but i don't think it has...i love a full circle/mirrored ending moment so in atydsp the very first line is him being awake + the very last line is him falling asleep <3

20. Is there anything about any one of your fics that you have been dying to discuss but haven’t had the chance to?

oooh idk...honestly zar has been getting quite a few voicenotes recently abt different parts of wfrau so there has been quite a bit i've wanted to discuss lol but some of it is just stuff abt the lily interlude + epilogue that i can't talk abt without spoiling...

i guess one thing i've wanted 2 discuss/one thing that's been interesting to see is (again) the way people have responded 2 the whole james/lily/regulus ambiguity...like i know that much of this fandom revolves around shipping etc but sometimes i've just wanted 2 be like it's not happening!!!!!!!! how can i make it more obvious!!!! but then again that's just part of putting ur writing out there in the world like someone can read something & interpret it completely differently than how u expected regardless of what u do...remember one person commented talking abt how they loved the polyamorous rep w james in wfrau & i was baffled bc in my mind i was writing him as aromantic...also was interesting seeing people expecting jegulily bc i thought i'd done a pretty good job writing reg + lily as platonic lol. also has just been interesting in a broader sense to see the different ways people think abt + interpret sex vs romance...like the idea that james enjoys sex but doesn't find it romantic isn't all that crazy to me bc sex & romance don't necessarily go hand in hand in my own life like. sometimes u just hook up for fun u don't have 2 be in love...but for some people those things r very tied together & it's difficult to conceptualize a guy who just wants to sleep w his friends! so that's been interesting 2 discuss...like the whole expectation that where there's sex romance must follow etc...

one other thing i've been wanting to discuss is like. r&s as they currently stand lol sent a whole long voicenote abt this the other day so have already gotten some of it out of my system but. it's interesting again seeing the amount of feedback from people who really wanted them 2 reconcile + have a happy ending at the point where things currently stand/the conclusion of the main story--or who are holding out for a happily ever after, etc. like to be fair their story has changed a lot as i've written it & i didn't know when i started the fic that the main story would end as it has. that being said ever since the obliviation became a key part of the story i've known that r&s simply would not be getting back together after voldemort's defeat...like sirius genuinely does not love remus anymore bc how could he! he doesn't remember him! they're practically strangers! & remus doesn't wanna give sirius another chance bc why would he! after all the hurt he already went through! knowing that the person in front of him now is essentially the guy who killed the person he loved & took his place! or perhaps more accurately is equivalent to the reanimated corpse of the person he loved...came back wrong narrative etc...u get the point (hopefully). anyway it just seemed clear to me that reconciliation would not be in the cards for them & it felt like brushing past that or trying to patch things up would detract from the emotional impact i was going for...perhaps even diminish the depth of the feelings they did, at one point, have for each other--like, it's only because they cared about each other so much that things are so unfix-able now. of course i do have my interlude + epilogue left 2 play around w but also bc i am mean + contrary + like making people sad every comment of someone being like "please make them happy :((" makes me want to not do that lol

& last thing is just a fun detail abt james that i'm not sure if anyone's noticed...putting it under a cut in case anyone wants 2 put the pieces together themself but a fun little detail abt his death:

james's recurring nightmare abt a bright light + his boggart being that bright light was him seeing his own death <3 bc he lost his ability to see color the 'avada kedavra' didn't look green to him; it was just bright light. & that was the last thing he ever saw! fun <3

fic writer ask game

[mi-rae07]

Song Mingi : Burning Desire (Part 5/5)

Pairing : Song Mingi (Ateez) and named character (Moon Aeri)

_____________________

A/n : so guess what, there's going to be a second season to this fic. I'd thought of cramming it all into one season with five parts but that didn't happen. Since it's enemies to lovers it's taking more time than expected to put them together lmao. So I'll probably have a second season with more parts to this after some time.

That is, if all of you want it to happen. So please let me know whether you'd like a second season or just leave it at this. And if you have any suggestions on the story line you can tell me that too!

But thank you for reading (this part is also going to be a bit long lol) and I love you!

______________________

Mingi remebered everything that had happened even when he was in a hazy state of mind. The medicine didn't wipe away his memories, although it did make him more vulnerable. And now as mingi followed aeri to wherever she was leading him, mingi not only felt embarassed, but also angry at himself for having been so emotional.

His bestfriend had betrayed him, but mingi should've known, given han's actions and negligence towards him lately. And he had been the only one to know that aeri was stabbed on her leg, not the heart that day.

But now, looking at aeri entering mingi's office room, he'd realized he'd fallen into aeri's trap. She had taken pure advantage of the situation. He had forgotten how cunning she was, how manipulative she could be.

Aeri : what is your mother's name?

Mingi paused on his tracks as aeri shut the door behind them, sitting down on mingi's chair as she said nonchalantly

Aeri : are you not going to answer?

Did she just sit on his chair, leaving him to stand? Mingi let out a breath in part annoyance as he looked away before saying

Mingi : jung mi-seo.

Aeri : is she alive right now?

Mingi : what does that matter to you?

Aeri : are you really going to show me that attitude given our situation, love?

Mingi rolled his eyes as he whispered

Mingi : she's long dead.

Aeri : how did she die? Did you kill her?

Mingi : she killed her herself, now can we just stop?

Aeri sighed, leaning back against the chair as she said

Aeri : it's han, isn't it? The traitor? That's why you let yourself get stabbed.

Mingi hated his answer.

Mingi : yes.

Aeri : you have to find him, and kill him.

As if he wasn't already going to do that.

Mingi : is that an order, your majesty?

Aeri : yes it is.

Mingi : consider it done.

Aeri : there's more. After you have brought me his head on a spike, you need to leave.

Mingi : pardon?

Aeri : leave, mingi, you're going renounce being China's emperor and you're going to go back to Korea.

Unbelievable. Mingi scoffed as he said

Mingi : you think I'll do that?

Aeri : you think I can't kill you, then? Either you do this your way or I make you leave my way. But if it goes my way you will not only lose China and Korea, but also your own head. So do it the easy way, mingi, just leave.

Mingi : is that why you did all that when I was sick, your majesty?

Aeri looked at mingi as he walked closer, her realizing he was doing that thing that he always does, intimidate her through her own past actions. She wouldn't fall for it this time.

Aeri : did what?

Mingi : oh don't act clueless now. If I know of it, you definitely do.

Aeri : mingi-

Mingi : you called me that when I awoke from a nightmare, didn't you? It was what put me back to sleep. I responded well to the call once, you think I want you to keep calling me by my name?

Aeri chuckled, shaking her head as she said

Aeri : what are you going to do about it? Kill me? You aren't powerful enough to do that anymore, mingi. Because if you do that the soldiers will know who did it and then the people. They would burn you to death, humiliate you. And I know of your greatest fear now, mingi. It is to not live a life of glory, to not die with dignity. Being humiliated is your biggest fear.

Mingi clenched his jaw, closing his eyes as he realized aeri had done her research while he was away, and she was smart enough to have taken something away from it. Mingi should've killed her much sooner.

Aeri : we have a ball tonight.

Mingi : what?

Aeri : to celebrate you getting better, of course. So dress in blue, royal blue.

Mingi stared at aeri in part shock as she stood up, walking towards the door before saying

Aeri : that was your mother's favorite color, was it not? It is mine too.

______________________________

Aeri looked at the mirror as the maids rushed around her, getting her ready for the ball. It was a beautiful royal blue gown with gold linings and pearls on it, perfect for an evening ball celebrating the health of her husband. Mingi hadn't directly told her about his mother's favorite color, she had figured it out through research. While aeri was plotting the taking over of the nation's powers she had figured it would be a good idea to know how mingi had ruled for the past 5 years in Korea as it's sole king.

The Korean crown was known for it's diamonds on it, but mingi had had it all removed and replaced with the finest sapphires that could be found. And his royal photo, he was wearing a royal blue suit in it. Moreover, as aeri looked at her wedding ring she came to the realization that the sapphire was more emphasized than any other jewels on it, even the main diamond.

It was obvious the obsession he had with the color, and she figured it would be because of his mother. Now she confirmed it.

Aeri didn't trust anyone anymore, not even Mina. Which was why she hadn't told mina of her plan to take over the nation while mingi was unconscious. No one wanted a woman on the throne, so aeri was going to put her there herself. And the people would not be able to do anything.

Right now aeri would play the role of a dutiful and good wife who was happy her emperor has surpassed death. And then when mingi leaves after han, she is going to appear to be weak, she's going to blame mingi for leaving the kingdom and condemn him for being an unfaithful husband. That will gain the people's sympathy, and then, soon aeri will be on the throne. She will not marry again, and neither will anyone be able to force her.

She will be China's sole empress, as she was always meant to be.

Aeri let out a small smile as she looked at the mirror in front of her, knowing that her time had come.

______________________________

Mingi had never seen so much extravagance for a ball, and as he walked down the stairs with aeri's arm wrapped around his, the ministers below clapped for him, bowing at the sight of their emperor. Aeri smiled as she looked at mingi, her eyes indirectly telling him to not look so blanked out.

Mingi sighed as he nodded at the people around them, aeri almost dragging him to the home minister as he started conversing with them. Mingi stared at aeri as she started talking about something, smiling as if nothing was wrong.

He still remembered how nice he felt when aeri had held him in her hands, how warm she felt and how soothing her words were. No one had ever held mingi like that, no one had ever told him such kind words. Now mingi knew those words were nothing but a trap aeri had skillfully set to get rid of him. But even then, mingi's body still longed for hers, he wished she could run her hands along his hair again, put him to sleep.

Aeri : my love?

Mingi quickly looked at aeri as she gave him a knowing smile, mingi looking back at the minister as aeri said

Aeri : mr kim was just asking you whether you would return to court tomorrow.

Mingi : oh, yes. I shall be returning to my duties tomorrow, if god wills it.

Minister : that is good to hear, your majesty. We have missed you very much. The court has been empty all this while long as well, since, you know, the empress refused to leave your bedside and took care of state matters from your chambers itself.

Mingi looked at aeri with raised eyebrows as she smiled at the minister before saying

Aeri : I am a wife before I am an empress, minister. Now if you'll excuse us, we'll need to talk with the other ministers.

The minister bowed with a smile as aeri led mingi away from the home minister to the defense minister that was standing a few meters away from them. Mingi leaned down as he whispered

Mingi : so you did not even leave my side, my good wife?

Aeri : in their eyes, I did not. My plan had to be foolproof, husband, being a woman is not easy.

Mingi looked at aeri as the defense minister quickly bowed down at their presence, smiling as he started talking about something. Except mingi couldn't focus, aeri looked too beautiful in blue.

It was now his favorite color too.

______________________________

Mingi sat back against his chair as he took another sip of his wine, staring soullessly into the carpeted floor of the palace ballroom.

"You are too weak, my son, you will love anyone no matter how bad they treat you, like a street dog. They can hit you, bleed you, kill you, but you will still love them as if they've been an angel to you. Your heart is too fragile for this world, you will never be able to control it"

Those had been the very words that had caused mingi to lock his heart away, caging it in stone and never letting it control him. But then the world had called him cruel, they had called him a monster for it. So mingi had realized that the people were going to hate you no matter what you did so he'd learned to stop caring about that too.

And then he'd met aeri, the cold cruel empress of China who ruled only with her head, seeming to have no heart. And yet the people accepted her. Mingi had kept his heart away from her and her feigning actions, but then…then what was this feeling? Why-

Aeri : it is time to dance.

Mingi looked up at aeri, her gloved hand held out for him to hold. Mingi knew he had no choice so he kept the wine glass away before taking her hand, leading her to the dance floor as the band began playing a fast romantic tune. Aeri put her hand on his shoulder as mingi led the waltz, wanting to finish this as soon as possible.

Aeri : do you know something, mingi? While you were unconscious, I'd thought of killing you then and there.

Mingi looked at aeri as she smiled and continued

Aeri : I thought of taking a blade and stabbing it into the same wound I'd helped heal, watching you thrash around helplessly as you tried holding onto whatever was possible. Watching you bleed dry as the sun rose and your eyes turned soulless and your body cold as ice.

Mingi suddenly felt breathless as aeri twirled herself around him before holding his hand once again. For the others around they would seem as a happy couple, the lady hopelessly in love with all her heart eyes and beautiful smiles. Only the both of them knew the words the lady was saying with those same eyes.

Aeri : but then I thought, oh, but if I do that then the people will surely know that I killed my husband and they will burn me to death before throwing the ashes into the river. So I decided to wait.

Mingi tightened his grip on aeri's waist as he lifted her up, twirling her around before putting her back on her feet again.

Aeri : I could kill you even now, my love, and oh how much I wish I could. If only there weren't so many rules and protocols.

Mingi felt his head spin, the suit suddenly feeling too tight on his body as sweat dribbled down his forehead. Before aeri could say anything more mingi whispered

Mingi : let go of me.

Aeri : you cannot leave in between a dance, that is impolite.

Mingi : let me go, aeri! I do not want to continue this.

Aeri : you don't have a choice-

Aeri cut herself off as mingi forced himself out of her hold, turning around as he rushed out of the ballroom. The band suddenly stopped playing at that, the couples and people around looking at aeri in part confusion as she smiled

Aeri : the emperor felt too giddy from the wine, and the dance was getting too much for him physically all of a sudden. I shall take my leave too now, noblemen. I will see you all in court tomorrow, thank you for coming.

The people around bowed at her as aeri gave them all a last smile before walking out of the ballroom as well. She looked around the place for mingi as she saw him rushing towards the garden area, her quickly following him.

She soon paused in front of the fountain area as she saw mingi sitting at the edge of it, his pant cuff drenched in water as sprinkles of it decorated his face and body. Aeri lifted her skirts up as she walked towards him, the cold water now falling on her as well as she said to mingi

Aeri : do you not understand my words, mingi? I told you not to leave-

Mingi : go away.

Aeri scoffed, walking further to the edge of the fountain where mingi's back faced her as she said

Aeri : you think I'll listen? You-

Mingi : LET ME BE MOON AERI!

Aeri looked at mingi as he stared up at her, her realizing that his eyes were red, his shirt now drenched from the fountain water. Was he…aeri stepped back as mingi stood up from his place, walking past her. Aeri let out a breath as she ran to him, holding his arm as she said

Aeri : what is wrong with you? Did the medicine cause something-

Mingi : the medicine caused nothing, I just need time away from you. So please, just let me fucking go.

Aeri : time away from me? Mingi you need to catch han soon and we need to attend to the court tomorrow-

Mingi groaned as he pushed aeri away from him with all his force, causing her to stumble back as she tripped over her skirts and fell down. Aeri gasped, looking up as she glared at mingi.

Aeri : did you just-

Mingi : I TOLD YOU, I DO NOT WISH TO SEE YOU RIGHT NOW! PLEASE!

Aeri stared at mingi in part confusion as he let out a breath and walked away, disappearing into the palace. Aeri let out a breath as she looked at her palm that had cut through a sharp piece of stone during the fall, blood oozing out of it as she muttered under her breath

Aeri : what the bloody hell is wrong with that man.

__________________________

Mingi stared blankly at the floors of the palace as he walked towards his chambers three hours later, the half asleep guards bowing at him. Mingi had no idea what had happened to him, why the hell had he reacted like that? He'd sat and thought about it for a whole three hours and he still had no answers. Fuck this, why was he so triggered by what aeri had told him? It wasn't the first time. What changed?

Mingi opened the door to his chambers as he saw aeri fast asleep on the bed, one of her hand dangling down the bed. Mingi frowned as he shut the door behind him, walking closer to aeri as he realized the skin on her palm had split open, probably from him pushing her in the garden.

Mingi sighed, bringing the first aid kit as he kneeled down the floor. He began taking care of the wound gently, not wanting to wake aeri up. He had no idea why he was doing this, but seeing her blood did something to him.

As mingi bandaged up the hand that had once buried itself in his hair, running along his back bringing him comfort no one else had ever offered, he realized how much he'd wanted to go back. Yes, he was not in the right state of mind and yes, he had recurring nightmares and the pain had been terrible. But if that meant having aeri take care of him, if that meant feeling her touch on his skin and her voice that held no sharpness, he'd go through all of it over again.

Mingi kept the first aid kit away as he laid his forehead against the edge of the bed, closing his eyes as a tired sigh fell from his lips. And just like that he'd fallen asleep.

______________________________

Han : he definitely loves her.

??? : what?

Han : I'm telling you, san, song mingi loves the empress.

San scoffed, taking a sip of his gin as he said

San : he, song mingi, the great emperor of China and Korea, has fallen in love?

Han realized how hard that was to believe, given mingi's stance in the political realm and his ways with people. But he saw the way he looked at her.

Han : believe it or not, it has happened. We can't defeat mingi face-to-face, he's too strong for that. We need something, someone, else as leverage.

San : so you're saying we should just kidnap the empress instead and lure him to us?

Han : yes, and he'll fall for it, 100 percent.

San supposed kidnapping a woman would be much, much easier than a man, she was too weak to fight back.

San : if this fails-

Han : it won't, san. Love can win battles, but it can also cause great wars, remember? When in love mingi is weak, he will do anything for her life, I am sure of it.

San : well then, I suppose moon aeri it is. By the way, do you think I could have her after all this? She's a pretty thing, I'm sure.

Han : I have nothing to do with that lady, san, I only need her crown. The rest of it is all yours.

_________________________

Aeri opened her eyes as she felt a weight on her hand, something smooth tickling against her skin as she looked to her side and realized with a start that mingi was fast asleep beside her, only his head rested against her wounded hand. Why the hell was he on the floor? And why was her hand bandaged?

Aeri let out a breath as she sat up straight, that waking up mingi as well as he woke up with a small groan.

Aeri : did you do this?

Mingi's sleepy eyes looked at the bandage that was wrapped around aeri's hand as he said

Mingi : yes, is it not from yesterday night? At the garden-

Aeri : where you started acting out like a teenage boy? Yes.

Mingi : I-

Aeri : I would appreciate it if you don't do that again, mingi. Now get up, we have to attend to court.

Mingi stared after aeri as she walked towards the bathroom, that same stone cold expression on her face. He wished he could see her smile at least once before she sent him away.

____________________________

3 weeks later :

Mingi was now walking towards a secluded area in the city, his fingers wrapped around the royal sword's hilt as he looked around him. He had ignored aeri for weeks now, hoping to get rid of these stupid feelings he had for her. He didn't want to decipher them, he was afraid he wouldn't be able to return from it. And so he'd lost himself in trying to find han, and yesterday he had gotten his first intel saying that han was living in a small place close to the old city market that had been abandoned years ago.

As mingi reached closer to the only small three storied building around, he saw lights lit up in some of the rooms, mingi looking around as he noticed that there was no one around here, it had gotten dark as well. This was seeming more to be a trap than it was now.

And just as mingi was about to step forward the door to the building opened, revealing han who already seemed to have expected him with that smug look on his face.

Shit, shit.

Han : so you're here, your majesty! I see you're healthy again?

Mingi : where did you get the men from?

Han chuckled as he said

Han : you're too smart for your own good, song mingi. But too bad I'm smarter than you.

Mingi let out a breath as han walked into the inside of the building, a bunch of men rushing out of the house after him with weapons in their hands. Mingi quickly pulled out his royal sword as he whispered under his breath

Mingi : god save me.

__________________________

Aeri had been sitting on that dining table for half an hour now, picking at her food. She felt no appetite for some reason, as she hadn't felt for the past week. Mingi had been ignoring her for everything other than work purposes, and aeri supposed that was what she ideally wanted, right? He had been focusing on finding han, and that means the sooner mingi would just leave this nation for good.

Except aeri had seen mingi with that puppy the other day, she had seen him smile and laugh for the first time, feeding the stray puppy food and water. The dog hadn't left mingi's side since then, and he had taken it in and was raising it in another room entirely. He hadn't told her about it, but she'd seen him take it for walks, and how happy he had looked with it.

Aeri had tried to ignore it, but then she hadn't seen mingi for a few hours now, and she had little idea where he'd gone. Aeri sighed as she said to the guard behind her

Aeri : did his majesty take the carriage with him?

??? : no your majesty, he went on a single horse.

Aeri : no guards?

??? : none, your majesty.

Aeri let out a breath as she stood up, saying to the maids as she walked towards the door

Aeri : dinner's done.

Aeri quickly walked towards the stables, picking up her bow and arrows along the way as she muttered under her breath

Aeri : damn this man.

_________________________

Mingi groaned as he pushed another man away from him, stabbing his already bloodied sword into the man's heart as he pushed him back. There were too many men, and mingi didn't have enough weapons. He had already killed dozens without getting wounded, but mingi felt like he would fall soon. Mingi felt sounds behind him and turned around to see a man running up to him with an axe. Mingi was just about to raise his sword when an arrow was shot straight into the man's heart from behind, causing him to fall down.

Mingi looked up with widened eyes as he saw aeri riding up to him on a horse, a bow and arrow aimed at the men behind him. Mingi stared as aeri shot arrow after arrow past him, her tilting the bow slightly as one of the arrows went right past his ear, causing his earring to jingle as aeri quickly rode up to him and said

Aeri : CLIMB UP!

Mingi looked behind him one last time before climbing aeri's horse, his chest pressing against her back as aeri handed the bow and arrows to mingi

Aeri : shoot.

Mingi held onto the saddle as aeri quickly turned the horse around, mingi raising the bow as he started shooting at the men close to them one by one.

Aeri : are you stupid?

Mingi : what?

Aeri : ARE YOU FUCKING STUPID!

Mingi : han, he has an army now, your majesty.

Aeri : I don't fucking care, mingi!

Mingi : you're the one who wanted me to find out-

Aeri : NOT BY KILLING YOURSELF!

Mingi did not understand why aeri was suddenly being like this. He shot his final arrow as the men finally stopped running after them, aeri leading her horse into a nearby forest as mingi looked around before asking

Mingi : are we going to get lost?

Aeri : no.

Mingi let out a breath as he kept the bow away, letting out a small hiss as he looked at the side of his right arm to realize that there was a deep cut on it. It was probably the only serious wound he'd gotten today.

Aeri : are you hurt?

Mingi : no.

Mingi paused as aeri slowly stopped the horse in between a small clearing, getting off of it as mingi looked at her in confusion

Aeri : get down.

Mingi let out a breath as he got off of the horse, aeri quickly holding his arm as she started inspecting him with worried eyes. Mingi stared at her blankly as he asked

Mingi : what are you doing?

Aeri : checking for any injuries.

Mingi : what does that matter to you?

Aeri : mingi! You just escaped death and now you're putting yourself into it again?

Mingi : you asked me to find han, your majesty. It was an order.

Aeri : you don't have to do it like this! If you die so soon who's going to kill han for me?

Oh, so that was why she'd come to save him. Because she still had uses for him, why did mingi even bother to think otherwise?

Mingi : han tried hurting you, and I'm sure he would do it again your majesty. I need to kill him before that happens.

Aeri : why would he do it to me? Why not you?

Mingi : because…look it doesn't matter. We-

Aeri : mingi, tell me.

Mingi stared at aeri as she looked up at him with those same eyes that mingi felt shone brighter than the stars above him.

Mingi : is that a command?

Aeri : yes.

Mingi : because you are my only weakness, because getting to you would be the best way to get to me, my heart. If they can't defeat me through physical force, they will do it this way.

Aeri : what…what is that supposed to mean?

Mingi : you've already researched about me, your majesty, you know how it gets when I…fall in love.

Aeri : what? Fall in love with who?

Why the hell was this lady so bloody clueless, mingi thought.

Mingi : we need to go back to the palace.

Aeri : I did not get my answer-

Mingi : it doesn't matter.

Aeri : it does to me!

Mingi : GOD DAMN IT, IT'S YOU! YOU…I've fallen in love with you.

Aeri stepped back in shock, her eyes widening as she scoffed and whispered

Aeri : this is a trap. You're trying to use my own moves against me-

Mingi : I am not so cruel, your majesty, and I am not as good as a liar as you are.

Aeri felt her heart beat faster as she muttered under her breath

Aeri : this cannot be true.

Mingi : I wish it wasn't.

Aeri : why…no, why would you fall in love with me? I have-

Mingi : I do not know, okay. Now can we go back to the palace, please.

Aeri watched as mingi got on top of the horse, holding out a hand for her to hold as aeri sighed and took it, using it to lift herself up onto the horse back as mingi started riding the horse through the forest.

For a few minutes neither of them said anything, mingi was too embarassed and aeri was too shocked. That was until she realized.

Aeri : do you know the way around this forest?

Mingi : how else do you think I came here, your majesty?

Aeri sighed as she looked around, the place getting darker as time passed. If they didn't reach mainland soon they'd be doomed.

Mingi : we need to prepare for war.

Aeri : war?

Mingi : han has an army now, your majesty, I told you. And there is only one way he could've attained it. Choi san.

Aeri : the king of our neighboring kingdom?

Mingi : yes, do you know him?

She didn't know him but she knew his body.

Aeri : he used to be my muse once, when my old husband got quite boring.

Mingi : what?

Aeri rolled her eyes as she started

Aeri : we used to have sex-

Mingi : no. no no I get it.

The last thing mingi wanted to hear right now was her past sexual relations and how it went. Aeri smirked as she moved her hair away from her face. Once again there was a pause for few minutes before mingi suddenly asked

Mingi : do you still love him?

Aeri : love? I've never loved him, mingi, or anyone for that matter. I have only ever used him for my own pleasure, as I have for everyone else in my life.

Mingi sighed, riding the horse faster as he whispered

Mingi : this is going to be such a mess.

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