#I got so used to this train wreck I forgot being in a wreck wasn’t normal 😭🤪

[12boogaloo]

Okay, I cant take it anymore. The brain rot is REAL

Been on a writing hiatus since 2019 or 2020 (I honestly don’t remember so don’t @ me)

And what gets me to finally start writing again?

You guessed it ladies, gents, and serpents!

Fucking TROLLS 3

Let’s get this bread or die trying y’all 😈

~•~

So first things first: I didn’t come up with the AU’s I’m using here! They were created by TheMiraculousMat and Keebsification on here and AO3

The AU’s in question are The Eldest and The Youngest and Out The Train Wreck

I just love it when people see John Dory and think “hmmm yes this grown man can fit so much eldest daughter energy in him” cuz SAME

So I thought: what if I just… put em together? OTT! JD and E&Y! JD have a grip on my soul and I’m filling a formal complaint in the form of fanfiction for not just 1, but 2 other pieces of fanfiction!!! Cuz why not

I’m gonna post the notes I’ve had about this idea for the past 2 week, at least the first part.

Well… it’s half notes, half chapter really…

Maybe. MAYBE. I’ll clean it up and post it on AO3. Maybe… probably lets be real

Anyway. Y’all can call me Boog and this is Project: Hyperfixation Won

Actual story name pending…

~•~

Part 1: Author’s Actual Notes because they are a nerd

Got an idea

Gonna scratch the itch

Half brain rot dump and half story here

Combination of the Eldest and Youngest JD and the Train Wreck JD

I also head canon that trolls have tails and claws and fangs

They’re lil creatures

Basically the same stuff happens in TW with the manager and John being Branch’s father.

Branch grows up knowing JD is his dad while everyone else thinks they’re brothers.

He and Luka are dating. He’s basically Branch’s other dad.

Luka gets taken and John thinks he died. He keeps his glove to remember him.

The fight still happens. John still leaves but promises Branch that he’ll come back.

He goes to the Neverglades for the next four years.

When he gets a letter about Rosiepuff and Branch he immediately heads back to the tree to take care of him.

Pretty much all of E&Y happens but with the change of Branch knowing JD is his dad.

Makes the trauma of him leaving worse in a way which adds to the angst of the first parts delicious, but it also makes their bond really solid later on.

John forgot that everyone in the village knew them as brothers until Poppy asks him if John is Branch’s daddy out of the blue. He panics and says “no” on instinct and they both decide to just go with it. Easier than explaining it to everyone.

She still doesn’t know. Nobody does.

John still loses his arm trying to save Creek(nasty ass).

One morbid silver lining John felt was that at least it wasn’t the hand he wore Luka’s glove on. Small miracles. Lol I’m sorry

Branch doesn’t remember Luka anymore, at least not really. He sorta remembers a burgundy haired troll that he thought was important but couldn’t remember anything else about them so he didn’t think too much about it.

John doesn’t really like talking about him and Branch hasn’t ever asked so he doesn’t bring it up.

He starts dating Hickory and he does tell him about Luka. He admits that while he definitely is falling for Hickory, a part of him will always belong to Luka and their relationship will always be really important to him.

Hickory is more than okay with that and even tells him that he would’ve loved to have met the man that made his sweetheart so happy and kept him safe before it was his turn. (John just about cried when he said that same buddy and agreed that they’d probably get along pretty well.)(He shows Hickory pictures of him and Luka one day and they laugh over the fact that John clearly has a type.)(And, based on Hickory’s own light blush, same.)(He immediately said Luka was ‘real cute’ and John still laughs at him for it.)

He also tells him about Bold and how Branch came to be. (Hickory spent solid hours comforting him afterwards and spent an equal amount of time thinking of ways he could get Dickory to help him torture the bastard if he ever saw him.)(He decides in that moment that he’d do anything to protect his boyfriend and his son. Anything.) (He’s also even more grateful to Luka when he hears about how he protected his love the day they met. He really wishes he could thank him…)

Branch makes jokes about not calling Hickory his stepdad till they get married, which makes John flush bright blue. (Hickory just laughs and winks, the traitor.)(Hickory secretly really wants Branch to call him ‘Pops’ and he’s so obvious about it.)(Branch finds it hilarious and doesn’t on purpose. He’d actually love to call him that, he’s just being an ass.)(You’d think he wouldn’t ever want to but no. For some reason, it’s only thinking of Hickory as ‘Papa’ specifically that makes him feel wrong. Like that’s not available to him. I wonder why.)

After saving Floyd, the boys all start spending more time together as a family. Floyd and Clay move into the bunker with John and Branch. Bruce still lives on Vacay Island but he tries to visit at least once a week, even bringing his wife and kids with him if he can.

They still love doing shows together and will do a big one every two weeks at least.

A few months later, they’re getting ready to hangout together after a performance in PopVillage. Hickory isn’t with them, he was actually watching with Tiny in the crowd, so he can’t see them.(Lil dude is really attached to his “Uncle Cowboy” and “Uncle Johnny” it’s adorable.)(And yes Guy is close by, Tiny is still very very grounded.)

Poppy wants to introduce them to a former stage manager that she’s worked with before that had come to see the show from TrollCity. Branch has met him once before and thought the guy was weird and a little creepy but nothing else made him feel suspicious so he kinda just ignored it. He figured if Poppy trusted him, it was fine. (Obviously he still kept an eye on the old bastard, cause your boy isn’t paranoid for nothing. And you never know.)

They all agree to meet and when they get backstage… it’s him.

Bold.

The bros old manager. The man who hurt their eldest unimaginably.

JD basically shuts down as his younger brothers immediately shield him from view.

They need to get out of here without causing a scene. Fast.

“Poppy, I think we need to go…” Floyd mumbles, his usually soft features twisting in both anger and slight fear as he stared the old troll down.

Poppy looks at them in confusion, “Wha- but you guys said you wanted to see everything we set up!!” She looks between the brothers and the older manager, Branch joining her as his eyebrows furrowed.

“Sorry, kids, I don’t think we can do that…” Bruce doesn’t take his eyes off of the old man as he steps back, closer to Clay and Floyd who were holding John Dory’s arms and hands to keep him steady in their safety bubble, their tails wrapped around his waist. “Not when he’s here.”

Poppy blinks in confusion. “What do you mean? Have you met Mr. Bold before?” She asks.

The old bastard chuckles. “Don’t worry, Miss Poppy.” Poppy huffs a bit at being called ‘miss’. (She’s Queen, dammit. Only Hickory calls her ‘miss’ and it’s always as a joke.) “I was the boys’ manager back in the day! It’s just been a while since we’ve seen each other.” He looks over each brother, clearly trying to get a look at John Dory and noticeably souring when he’s blocked. Then he smirks, taking a few steps closer, his wooden cane thunking against the floor. John flinches with each tap, tap, tap. “You’ve all grown up so much.”

Bruce holds his ground, crossing his arms and rolling his shoulders, his bigger body blocking most of JD from view. Clay was growling behind him, both him and Floyd curling closer to John and their ears pressed back in irritation. Bruce gives a humorless chuckle. “Heh. Yeah, we’ve grown up, Bold. We grew up and you’re fucking old now.”

Poppy gasps. “B-Bruce, that’s not nice!” She turns to Bold and smiles nervously. “I’m so sorry-“

The man waves her off. “Don’t fret. I’m sure he didn’t mean anything by it. He’s right after all.” He looks at them again all smugly, leaning on his cane. “Like I said, it’s been a long time.”

Floyd scoffs. “Not long enough.” He growls, baring his teeth. His claws start coming out and he’s thankful he’s holding John’s prosthetic arm as he feels them scratch the metal.

“Woah, okay, what the hell is up with you guys?” Branch finally steps in. That was so unlike Floyd to say something like that. He’s never seen the older troll that angry before, he’s never seen any of his uncles that angry before.

Bruce huffs. “What’s up is that we’re leaving. Now.” He goes to turn around to start steering his brothers out of the room when he hears Bold chuckle, making them all freeze.

“You all really have changed so much,” He says, his tail swaying side-to-side behind him. John looks up and they manage to lock eyes, Bold smiling sickly as John stares in horror. “Especially you, Johnny Baby.”

John feels sick. He feels like he’s gonna pass out. He feels his legs start giving out as Clay and Floyd rush to hold him up. He feels his body going completely limp and his vision blurs and his chest hurts and he can’t breATHE-

Bruce tackles the old troll, immediately landing brutal hits to the bastards face. He screams between punches, “DON’T TALK TO MY BROTHER!” Bold tries to hit him back, only managing to smack Bruce in the side once with his cane before continuing to get pummeled.

Branch and Poppy jump in frantically to pull him off of the man and the three of them stumble back. Bruce shoves them off and glares at Bold again. He was lying on the ground, groaning and clutching his nose, there were scratches and bruises on his face and he was covered in his own glittery copper blood. “Stay. The FUCK. Away. From John.” Bruce pants and shakes out his hands, flexing his exposed claws. He spits on the ground. “Bastard.” He turns back to his brothers. “Cmon, let’s get out of here.” He lifts JD up bridal style and Clay and Floyd follow him as he starts rushing to the door.

“Wait, hold on!” Branch runs after them, leaving Poppy standing in confused horror at what just happened.

~•~

That’s what I’ll give for now lol

I have like wayyy more written out but I’m mean so 😈

Anyway

Thank you for coming to my ted talk

Lmk what y’all think ig

Check out the folks that created these AU’s plz @matmiraculous and Keebsification (idk their tumblr so plz don’t yell at me) both on AO3 where I found them

Later yall

[bamber344]

Whumpee intro: Jordyn's Training - 1

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heyo ik I said the updates for this would take a while but I wanted to get this out quickly so there was some actual whump to sink your teeth into for the story. the 'Jordyn's Training' arc was meant to just be one thing but this first section absolutely ballooned way bigger than I thought it would (just over 2k words) so it will most likely be a 4-parter

Anyway this series actually has a name now! it is Project Genesis, courtesy of my brain in the shower this morning; the birthplace of many great ideas.

Lemme know if you wanna be added to the tag list btw! chapter begins below the cut :3

CWs: broken bones, whipping, emotional manipulation, vomiting, blood, meal restrictions, mentions of recovery, female whumpee, male whumper, superpowered whumpee

(let me know if I need to CW anything else I forgot about!)

Jordyn's Training, part 1: The First Mistake

3 MONTHS AFTER WAKING

The obstacle course stretched out before me, vast and daunting. It wasn’t anything I hadn’t done before, but the fast-spinning metal poles and swinging wrecking balls never failed to make me anxious before I threw myself in for another go. I’d been hit by them more than enough to know how much they hurt. Still, this sort of training was necessary for my rehabilitation, so I steeled myself and prepared to do another run-through, aiming to beat my personal best under Father’s watchful eye.

It had been three months since I woke up in that room, cold and confused, lashing out at anything that moved. If not for Father, I would probably still be in that helpless, animalistic state. He took me in when no one else would, taught me how to speak, and read and write; how to be a functional human being again. I was in an accident, apparently, injured badly enough that when I woke my mind was completely blank, bare of even the most basic muscle memory. Father’s treatment may have fixed my body, but my mind still needed hands-on work; work that he tirelessly took upon himself. He spent countless late nights with me, speaking to me, reading to me, letting me get a feel for English again. He allowed me to lean on him while I was relearning how to walk. He spoon-fed me when I lacked the coordination to feed myself. There was still a lot that I didn’t know, and I got confused often, especially when he used bigger words, but he said that was okay. I didn’t need to know everything. So long as I did good, and he gave me that warm, tingly smile, nothing else really mattered.

Apparently, I used to be something called a ‘superhero’ before my accident. I would use this strange power I had to take down criminals and bring them to justice. If I ever wanted to be able to do that again, I needed to train. My body may have been passably functional, but it needed to be exceptional, or so Father said. He always smiled when he talked about me being a superhero again, so I knew that was where I needed to focus my efforts.

“Jordyn? What are you waiting for?” Father asked, his voice gravelly and stern.

I snapped out of my thoughts. “Sorry, Father. I was just preparing myself.”

He shook his head and something inside of me shrivelled up. “Not good enough, Jordyn. Do you think the criminals will wait for you to be ready? You need to do what I ask when I ask, not when you think you are ready.”

I clenched my fists, tears stinging the backs of my eyes. “S-sorry, Father.”

“It’s alright, Jordyn. Now, go.”

I wasted no more time, charging forward as Father started the timer. I needed to do good on this to make up for my blunder before. Father had spent so much of his time and energy on me; I couldn’t let it all be for nothing.

The beat of my feet against the floor fell into a rhythm as I jumped, dodged, and dashed my way through the course. I’d been running it for over a month now, and it was quickly becoming second-nature. I knew exactly when to duck my head to avoid the spinning beams, how to deftly move between the wooden knives shot from the walls, and just which way I should step to avoid the pitfalls in the floor. The burn in my lungs and legs was distracting, but I didn’t let it slow me down. Just like Father always said: ‘Pain isn’t real.’

Something looked a little different about the second set of spinning poles, but I ignored it. The course was always the same every time I ran it; I was probably just thrown off because of Father’s reprimand. They always stung in a way I didn’t know how to deal with. 

I leapt into the fray of rapidly spinning wooden beams, ducking the ones at head-height and hopping over the ones aiming for my legs. It took a little bit more focus to ensure I wasn’t hit this time; it seemed as though the poles were spinning faster than usual. Still, with all of my practice, I was making good time. My personal best wouldn’t know what hit it.

Crack!

Something slammed into my shin and my leg buckled from under me. That was fine, this wasn’t the first time I’d been knocked down. I made sure to roll out of the way of any on-coming beams so I had a safe spot to catch my breath in before continuing.

Then the pain hit, so hard and so strong that I immediately gagged from the shock, agony shooting up my leg like bolts of electricity. It was hard to breathe. Hot tears spilled from my eyes as overwhelmed sobs tore from my throat. I looked down at my leg to see what was hurting me so bad and almost threw up. My shin had already turned an ugly purple, and the rest of the limb below that point was twisted unnaturally. My heart lurched.

“F-FATHER! HELP!” I shrieked. The pain was too much; my entire body was locking up, too afraid to move in case I made it worse.

“What are you doing, Jordyn? Get up. Keep going.”

Disobeying his orders hurt almost more than my snapped leg, but I couldn’t bring myself to move. “I- I can’t! It hurts! Father, please!”

“That’s not good enough! Use your shadows, steel yourself! The course is not over until you complete it! Get up, girl! Your pain is not real!”

The thought of going on made me want to curl into a ball, but I did as I was told. Father’s orders came before all else, especially my own comfort. I owed him my life; a little pain meant nothing in the face of that. I reached out to the shadows around me, wrapping them around my injured leg like a splint. My skin turned black, sucking in all of the light around it, but the pain did lessen somewhat. A whimper escaped my lips as I forced myself up. Shards of agony stabbed my flesh every time I put weight on my leg, but it was manageable. I could move, albeit slowly. So much for beating my personal best.

It took an embarrassingly long time, but eventually I was able to limp my way to the end of the course, receiving more than a few extra bruises from the traps I was unable to dodge due to my injury. I collapsed at Father’s feet, dropping to my knees with my head hanging low as sweat dripped from my brow.

“That was disgraceful, Jordyn. Even your first attempt was better than that.”

I bit back a sob. “I’m s-sorry, Father. M-my leg, it-”

He grabbed a fistful of my short hair and tugged my head up, slapping me across the face. “I don’t care for your excuses. If you allow something as trivial as a broken leg to slow you down, the criminals out there will tear you to shreds. You should have learned by now how to use your power to protect yourself against this sort of thing without my instruction. I’ve already spent so much time healing you; I will be very disappointed if it turns out to all be a waste. Are you a waste of my time, Jordyn?”

“N-no Father! I’m not a waste!”

He let go of my hair, allowing me to sag back down to the floor. “Hm. I expect not. Remove your shirt.”

I blinked up at him. “F-Father?”

He struck me again, hard enough to whip my head to the side. “If you cannot even follow a simple order without talking back, how can I expect you to perform well in the field?”

I didn’t make the same mistake twice, pulling off the black, skin-tight garment as quickly as I could.

He nodded his head to the side, indicating a metal pole in the corner of the room, with two handles sticking out of it on either side. I’d yet to learn what purpose it served, but I had a feeling I was about to find out.

“Grab the handles of that pole and remain on your knees.”

I shuffled over with my head down, each drag of my injured leg across the floor causing tears to spring up in my eyes. The metal of the handles was cold under my palms, numbing my fingers. The rough floor dug into my knees uncomfortably. Father was moving around behind me, and every time it sounded like he was approaching, I inadvertently flinched and shied away. Anxious curiosity burned in the pit of my belly. What was this all about? I risked a question.

“Father, wh-what’s happening?”

“You need to learn how to ignore pain, Jordyn. The only way for you to do that is to experience it. It isn’t real; just chemical reactions in your brain. You must internalise that.”

“I- I don’t know what that means, Father.”

He ignored me. “While this is because you failed today, it doesn’t have to be a punishment, Jordyn. Consider it a lesson; a lesson on conquering pain. If you use your shadows to protect yourself from this, or let go of the handles at any point, I’ll have your other leg broken and forbid the medics from repairing it. Remember: pain isn’t real.”

“Father, I-”

SNAP

All of the air rushed out of me and a line of fire lit up across my back. It was so sudden that I couldn’t stop myself from crying out. Surely that wasn’t what he meant to-

SNAP

My stomach rolled uncomfortably as the strike shook my entire body. I couldn’t help but scream as the pain echoed through me.  

“FATHER! FATHER, P-PLEASE STOP!” 

“Be silent, girl! Who told you you could speak?!”

SNAP

His command overrode even my most basic need to express the utter agony I was in, and the following scream got caught in my throat. Shadows flickered and writhed underneath me, licking up my legs out of protective instinct before I forced them back down again, Father’s warning ringing in my mind.

SNAP

SNAP

SNAP

It felt like it would never end. My vision darkened at the edges. My abs clenched and a surge of bile spilled from my mouth. Warm blood dripped down the burning, torn skin of my back, my anguish heightening with each consecutive blow.

Pain isn’t real Pain isn’t real Pain isn’t real Pain isn’t real Pain isn’t real

SNAP

SNAP

SNAP

SNAP

SNAP

Seconds passed, and no new wave of pain came. I gasped, sucking in as much air as I could to refill my lungs before it was all inevitably expelled again by another strike. My ears were ringing so loud I could barely hear anything and my entire body felt numb aside from the battlefield that was my back, which was still sending lancing aftershocks deep into my muscles even as time continued to press forward with no hint of the next lash.

“You may release the handles, Jordyn.”

I let go and my whole body went limp as I dropped to the floor into a puddle of my own blood and vomit. The movement sent arcing memories of fire through my torn-up skin, and a sob slipped from between my clenched teeth.

“Clean yourself up and report to the medbay when you are ready. After that, head straight to your room. Do not expect dinner.”

All I wanted was a warm meal and for the pain to stop. “Wh-whyyy?” I moaned.

“I will not reward mediocrity, Jordyn. You did poorly today, and as such, you will not be receiving dinner privileges until you beat your personal best again. Be better.”

His footsteps echoed as he walked out of the training room, leaving me alone to cry. This was my own fault. If only I’d been good like he wanted, he wouldn’t have had to hurt me like that. I never wanted to disappoint him like that again.

“I’m s-sorry, Father… I’m sorry.”

Taglist: @steelandblood @sapphicwhump @urnumber1star

feel free to reblog and leave a comment if you enjoyed :) I like hearing from you!

[chaotic-on-main]

Skyyyyy!! I am so excited for this event! I ran to your ask box.

I’m craving Pralines and Cream for me today. Ima pick Kitchen Sink. I want something about me getting jealous and him reassuring me that we are secure with one another, maybe the first time he says I love you?? Possibly. But def pre-established relationship. Maybe 4th year in school(That makes us 18?19?) I don’t remember. Let me be that young again 😂😂😂 anyway love you so much my little bean (i legit call all my close friends that ignore me) ❤️❤️❤️. Or college AU if you don’t want to do canon!

Off to request one with Levi now 😂. But you don’t have to do both!

Order up!! One pralines and cream with all the works for Bee!!

Sky's Summer and 250 Follower Event!

☾ Pairings ➼ Megumi Fushiguro x gn!Reader

☾ Content/Warnings ➼ fluff, jealous reader, canonverse, love confession

☾ Author's Note ➼ Hi Bee!! This one was a little fun. I always picture Nobara and Yuji as the goofiest little shits so it's nice to have a character that balances the team out by being like Megumi lol. I hope this okay! I'm not very familiar with his character like the others so this has been great practice. Also I realized this is more dialogue heavy than I'm used to, so that was interesting to work on! Thank you for the request!! Ilysm!! (also I love being called a bean, never stop) 💕

☾ Word Count ➼ ~1.5k

Ever since you had met those idiots you called friends so long ago, there never seemed to be any peace for you. Outwardly complaining about them was your favorite pastime, though anyone could tell that you really did love them despite the cutting tone. Nobara and Yuji were two sides of the same coin and you couldn’t have asked for a better set of dummies. Fortunately for you, you had Megumi to help balance out their stupidity. You and him actually bonded early on from the back and forth banter about how annoying they were, yet it was again obvious how much you both adored them.

All of this to say that whenever you hear your name being yelled from across the street, you couldn’t help but groan at the incoming trouble headed your way.

You shut the book you had been enjoying at the outdoor café where you like to get your favorite daily cup of tea. It was small and never overly-crowded, which was one of the best things about it. When you look over to the source of yelling, you’re not surprised to see it is indeed Nobara and Yuji barreling their way towards you.

“What do you idiots want? It’s too early for this nonsense.” You gripe back, scowling over to them.

“Fushiguro is getting hit on!” They yell at the same, both looking over to each other and frowning.

“Idiot, I said I would tell her.” Your orange-haired friend punches Yuji in the arm.

“Ow! I forgot!” He swats at her.

“What do you mean, ‘Fushiguro is getting hit on’?” You raise an eyebrow.

“I mean just what I said.” Nobara says quickly.

“And he’s really into it. I saw him waving his arms around and all that.” Yuji starts flapping his arms in a way to recreate what he saw. He accidentally slaps Nobara in the face in the process. Before she can retaliate, you raise your arms to get their attention.

“Are you sure this was Megumi Fushiguro? Broody, black spikey hair?” You chuckle nervously. “Pffft okay, sure… Regardless, he can take care of himself.” You pick at an imaginary hair on your shirt.

“Well, we know how you feel about him, don’t you wan-“ Your eyes shoot up into Nobara’s nonchalant gaze.

“You don’t know anything.” You scowl again, folding your arms across your chest.

“Keep telling yourself that, but we’re going back to watch this train wreck. You can join if you want!” And then they’re already off. In a huff, you gather your things and follow them. You really hope they’re just blind and got the wrong person. It wasn’t Megumi. It couldn’t be.

.

When they finally stop running, you are completely out of breath. You’re not that out of shape considering the regiment your school puts you through, but you didn’t realize they would be taking you so far away. How they ran to you in the first place is mind boggling. What’s even worse is that as you make it to the concrete stairs leading down to a landing, you definitely spot your friend Megumi - still chatting away with another girl.

The sinking feeling in your chest comes instantly. How stupid of you to not have said how you felt about him sooner. Now here are the consequences of your actions. He points at something, which makes the stranger laugh loud enough that it trickles up the staircase and into your ears. Your legs are flying down the stairs before you even realize what’s happening.

 “There you are, Megumi!” You yell, pulling your lips back into a fake smile.

He jumps at the sudden loudness, whipping around at the sound of your voice. The girl he’s talking to smiles at you and waves.

“What’s going on here?” You ask, your voice coming out a little higher than planned.

“This is-“ You cut Megumi off by grabbing his arm and tugging on it.

“Oh that’s great, it’s nice to meet you. Actually, if you don’t mind I’d love to steal him away from you if that’s okay?” And with that you start walking, pulling him away.

“O-okay! Thank you for your help!” You hear her yell from behind. You don’t give her a second glance as you pull him around the corner.

“Hey, what the fuck was that?” Megumi stops abruptly, grabbing your hand and making you stop as well.

“I’m not sure what you mean?” You face him and smile sweetly. Your cheeks hurt from the forced effort.

“Don’t play dumb with me. That wasn’t like you at all.” His eyes cut into yours and you can’t help but look away.

“I just thought you needed help getting out of being hit on.” You shrug your shoulders, still refusing to meet his glare. Your smile fades slowly.

“I wasn’t being hit on, dumbass. She was asking for directions because she’s new around here and then started asking for recommendations.” Megumi’s glare feels red-hot against your face. Or was it the embarrassed flush that comes with being so completely wrong?

“In my defense, Nobara and Yuji-“

“I’m sure they said something dumb. I just can’t believe you would listen. And why does it matter if I’m having a good time or not?”

“Why wouldn’t I?”

“You didn’t answer my question.“ You narrow your eyes down to your sneakers that you found yourself staring at instead of what was right in front of you.

“Just forget it.” You throw your hands up in the air and turn to leave.

Megumi mutters your name, soft. Low. Curious.

“Were you... jealous?”

“Pfft, jealous?? Of what?” You throw a glare over your shoulder as you walk, only to have your steps falter at the look in Megumi’s eyes. What was that?

“I don’t know. You tell me.” He mumbles, taking a few steps closer to you.

“There’s nothing to be jealous about.” You face him again, folding your arms across your chest in defiance.

“You’re right, there’s nothing to be jealous about.” He agrees. He takes another step to you, leaving about 4 feet between you two.

“I love you, so. Why would I want anyone else.” He mumbles under his breath, rubbing the back of his neck with one of his hands as he looks away awkwardly.

 “Yeah. I mean, you do kinda suc- what? What did you say?” Your arms fall to your sides as you attempt to process what he just said.

“Why would I want anyone else?” Megumi repeats, this time louder.

“No, the other part.” Your heart feels like it’s about to beat out of your chest. You will it to calm down as the blood pumping in your ears makes it hard to hear.

“I said I love you.” He looks up at you, dark blue eyes boring into yours. Sincerity mixed in with apprehension reflects back at you.

“I- Megumi. That’s-“ You stutter. You bite the inside of your cheek nervously.

“You don’t have to say anything. I just thought you should know so I don’t freak you out like that again.” He starts to turn away, but you close the gap and wrap your fingers around his wrist to stop him.

“Megumi, wait.” He plants his feet but doesn’t turn to face you.

“Since when?” You continue.

“Since what?”

“How long have you loved me?”

There’s a deafening silence as you wait for his response. A couple of cars pass by – the rush of air blowing your hair every which way. Slowly, Megumi rounds on you. He eyes you with anxiety, a signature downturn of his lips ever present. His wrist is still enclosed in your grasp.

“Since the end of our first year.” He mumbles.

“That long?” Your eyes are wide in shock as you process how long that had really been. That would make it a little less than 3 years that he’s liked you. No, not liked. Loved. And currently still.

“Why haven’t you said anything?” It’s your turn to frown back, lips pursed in a small pout.

“There was never a good time. It’s hard when we’re always on the verge of being murdered.” He says dryly with an eye roll.

“That’s a fair point, I suppose.” You laugh at that. You all rarely get a break from world ending obstacles. You both stare at each other, the tiny bit of tension from earlier now quashed.  

“Hey, ‘Gumi.” You whisper, closing the small space between you and him and continuing, “I love you too.” You lean in and kiss him delicately on the cheek, noting the softness of his skin against your lips. When you pull away, a shit-eating grin crawls up your face. He’s watching you stunned, a bright pink dusting his cheeks. After a few seconds, the apprehension that clouded his aura was now gone as a small smile replaced his shock.  

“So… if you love me so much, what are you buying me for lunch?” You ask. And then that frown is back like it never left.

“You’re so stupid sometimes. Let’s go find the idiots and-“

“Let them get their own food. I want you all to myself this time.” You release your grip from his wrist and place your hand into his, closing your fingers and squeezing. Before he can say anything, you whisk him away and towards your favorite restaurant.

I don't really have a taglist for anything outside of AoT so if anyone wants to be put on a list for any future JJK writing, let me know in the comments??

[this-is-fox-speaking]

tw parental death. just my own thoughts and feelings on my own recent loss, super long post.

my dads always given me mixed feelings. you can imagine how much worse it got after he died.

when he was alive, he was horrible to my mother. he had the worst anger issues, and was a raging narcissist, my mother says. i’m not sure what a narcissist looks like, but he probably fits the bill. my mother was a brave and strong woman, taking the worst of his anger issues behind closed doors and away from us. the most me and my brother ever saw was loud arguments and my father getting mad over the smallest shit. i never even knew the worst of it until years later after the divorce.

he makes me angry. i fucking hate him for what he’s done to my mother. i hate that he would vent to anyone who would listen but would still create more and more problems for himself, not listening to anyone but forcing anyone to listen to his issues that he fucking refused to fix. he was the worst man in my life. sure, he didn’t murder, my mother wasn’t perfect, what-fucking-ever. but he was fucking god awful. and i’m glad he’s dead.

but i’m only glad that side of him is dead.

the father i had, i can barely remember. he was always gone and whenever he was home, he’d be angry. whenever we went somewhere, he’d be angry. but that’s all i can actually remember, so maybe he wasn’t always angry. but i’ll never really know. i was in elementary, after all. but the late father i had was gentle. he was emotional. he was pathetic, i thought at times. “he has the gall to wish for my mother, when he ruined her life?” it twisted my gut at times whenever i saw him date a new woman- five or four, in total- because i knew what he’d done, but i know he’d never tell them what he’d done. the children he’s abandoned, the mothers he’s left behind, the abuse he’s inflicted on the family that stayed. on the family that didn’t deserve it, that were just trying their fucking best to get by, god damn it. but the late father i had was emotional. but he certainly never let me or anyone forget his roots- his favorite past time being to use the n word like a replacement for the fact he couldn’t say christ’s name. he was ironic for his beliefs. he was mixed, but hated the whites and blacks mix in together. he was grown this way. grown into the part of my family- his family- that fed well on lying to the new generations that unfortunately came to be under their last names. in their blood line.

i don’t know. i’m ranting.

my dad was emotional. i remember at one of my old therapy sessions when i was younger, he started to bawl about his childhood trauma. his dad and everything. i’ve heard the story before. his dad was terrible, he doesn’t know how to be a dad, etc. but i don’t think he ever did- or ever will, even in some belief of afterlife- learn that just because your childhood sucked, there’s no excuse to use that as a crutch to keep abandoning and harming those who are trying to be in your life. it’s never excused, even when you try and help them later on. you stupid piece of shit.

right. the death. i forgot. i’m ranting again.

when i was told he died, i expected a joke at first. i teared up, i silently cried through laughter. i was fine for a few days. i missed school for a while. then it finally hit me all in one day. and i broke down completely. everything he’ll ever miss in my life hit me like a train wreck.

he called me the night before the morning. i told him about my current ceramics project, told him if i finish it i’ll try and show it to him. he said he wanted to come down for halloween, if he could. then he had a heart attack. i joked he could come visit me for halloween, that he didn’t even need to dress up from being a spirit now.

i was fine for a while after my meltdown. i went to school, i think. i don’t remember. his funeral finally came around, surprisingly shortly after everything. my grandma was there. one of my sisters talked about how she shouldn’t have to bury her child, no mother should. my fathers casket was a bright mint. i joked that it was ironic, like one last prank on him. because he used to tell a story that he choked on a mint once during a sports game and puked, so the smell made him sick. we went to a store full of people’s old junk being resold, beforehand. i found some horror themed wreaths, and joked that we should buy one to put on his grave. i don’t think the real dad i had deserved it, not in the slightest. but the dad i had did. at least in some capacity. i bawled at the his casket, as it hit me that he was in there. my father was in that casket, and i couldn’t handle it. they had it closed. i thought i’d regret it later, but i still don’t. i didn’t want to see my dads cold laying corpse. i wanted to remember him how i always saw him. he was always trying to lose weight, but i don’t think i could handle seeing him thinned even slightly. his skin was always tanned, and i don’t think i could handle seeing him any bluer or any whiter. i used to mess with his stomach as a kid, saying how he should never get skinny. me and my brother both did. sorry that your weight loss is being done by maggots, dad. but at least it’s quicker than what you were doing, right?

for all the trouble he caused, he was still a dad to me. he made sure to always tell me he loved me, he shared my interest of horror and the nasty bits and pieces of human nature. we would talk about scary things like serial killers. he loved to look into serial killers, he had such a fascination with them. he actually told me stories about how, when he was younger, he’d have dreams of killing people as jason voorhes. i’d judge, but i have worse taste. besides, what angry little kid hasn’t dreamt of killing people, right? or maybe that was just us.

he went to pawn shops a lot. i always hated going to them, i thought they were boring. but now he’s all i think about whenever i see one. i don’t get emotional, i still think they’re boring. but he lives on somehow, i suppose.

he spoiled me rotten. to a very literal degree. i have a feeling he’s the reason for all my rotted teeth, all my mothers dentist bills. but i can’t blame him.

he always asked me if i’d live with him. no, dad, i don’t want to. i never wanted to. living with you wouldn’t have been good for me, and i’m sorry i was never honest with you. it just.. would’ve broke your heart. i’m sorry i’m such a terrible liar, i’m sorry i was so vague all the time when you asked me.

something that broke me the most was when i thought about what his last thoughts and words were as he passed. the flash of regrets he might’ve had as he died. i’ll never know. he can’t tell me.

i saw the wonka movie today. i started to tear up and silently cry as wonka waved to the figment of his mother in the crowd at his greatest accomplishment, the one she’d promise to be there for. him blowing a kiss to her. when she disappeared into thin air when the man passed infront of her, it hit me all at once. it hit too close. i smiled, i joked, but i cried for a bit. i silently cried, but once the lights turned on i forgot about it, i joked, i defended, i wiped the tears away, i went to the car, we went home.

oddly, i don’t miss him. i never spent time with him, because for the past year or two he’s never come to see me on the weekends like documents said he was supposed too. he was always busy. to me, always running from someone. it was either he couldn’t pay for something, he lost his job, something like that. last time he told me that, he was actually visiting my family 2 days away. he didn’t tell anybody. it feels like he was a deadbeat. an emotional one, though.

i’m sorry to everyone he’s ever dated, ever ‘loved’, ever met, ever touched, ever made. i’m sorry he’s screwed all of our lives over. we all have to live with what he’s done to us, how he’s effected us. but i’m glad we met. you’re apart of the family now, i hope you enjoy us.

i don’t miss him. but i wish he could’ve lasted at least just a few more weeks, just one more year. be there for my 18th, be there for my first job, my first car, my first anything. he’ll never be there for any of it. and it hurts, but not because i wanted him to see it. i didn’t need him to see any of it. i could’ve just told him about it, and that’d be ok. but i can’t even do that. phone calls don’t go to hell, after all. yeah, you didn’t use the lords name in vain, but you weren’t exactly the type to love thy neighbor. not fully. at least you weren’t homophobic, i guess? very racist though.

at least he’s the reason i have a loving dog named otis. he remembered the one and only time i joked that if we ever got a dog, we should name it otis. he remembered, and i didn’t in the slightest.

he did some things right, but all of his life he did wrong. i guess.. i’m glad i don’t have an obligation to see him, anymore? i don’t know. it’s weird.

[wrvtchedhearts]

Bez had to wreck their brain for a moment when it came to MMA, not completely sure what it meant until the memory came back. Though they weren’t sure if they got it right. “So… wrestling?” they asked, hoping it wasn’t too obvious that fighting sports were very far from their bedside. Bez had learned how to fight as part of their training in the USA, and as a Pakistani in the UK, they’d been taught to defend themselves. Not that they had to use it often, or at all. Self-defence techniques were far more useful on the ground. “That’s too bad,” Bez said, when she told them about an injury resulting in having to quit. It was always hard to say goodbye to something you loved, simply because your body didn’t participate. “Detective,” Bez admitted, though he had no idea how their physical prowess gave the other that quick conclusion. It told them that perhaps they would need to be a bit more on their guard. “And I’m just really quick on my feet.” Definitely a combination of sugar and caffeine coursing through their body this early in the morning. And praying five times a day. 

The firm handshake, the question about where they were from, and the compliment all threw Bez off enough that they instantly forgot they were going to keep their guard up. How could they? Hearing a slightly familiar accent, getting to talk about home, and being told they were fast, they were too easily wrapped in familiarity. Even after twenty-five years, they still considered the UK their home. “Loughton,” they said. Which was technically not really London, but about fifty minutes out by car and by public transport. And growing up Bez remembered always wanting to be from London, not just from near London. As if being part of a world city made them more interesting. “Thank you, I’m still running on a good dose of sugar and caffeine.” Too honest, always too honest. They looked down, where the spilled contents of their coffee and donuts were waiting for them. “Speaking of which… I guess I’ll need a refill.”

𝐒𝐎𝐌𝐄𝐓𝐈𝐌𝐄𝐒 𝐎𝐂𝐓𝐀𝐕𝐈𝐀 𝐅𝐎𝐑𝐆𝐎𝐓 𝐖𝐇𝐀𝐓 it felt like to be underestimated, considering her appearance. tough, rough around the edges. some had said she looked like a fighter, but it seemed that not everyone thought the same. " yeah -- professional mma. my dad too. " like father, like daughter, in more ways than one. she doesn't mention ralph's immediately, for she wasn't quite sure if any buzz had gotten out about the undergrounds fight. assess what they know. that was what was the most important. " injury took me out just as my career was heatin' up... but i like to think i've made quite the life for myself. " it wasn't a lie, even if she had taken up the criminal legacy her father had left behind. while there was a time when she had fought it, the time that she both wanted to and could have had long since passed. " and you? i'm gonna take one guess -- some kind'a cop. or you're just really fuckin' quick on your feet. haven't seen moves like that in a long time. "

at the mention of her mother, octavia can't help the softer expression she now wears. now that she's taken on her father's mantle, she understands the woman more than she ever did when she was alive. " i suppose you're right. " she speaks rather simply -- avoiding any further mention of her mother other than that. " oh shit -- what a coincidence -- what part? " she takes their hand with a firm shake, both a sign of respect and simply being unaware of her own strength. she's gotten quite used to this body, after all. " octavia. nice'ta finally put a name to a face... well... a flash. you're pretty damn fast. "

[scoups4lyfe]

Ikki sweety your hearts in the right place and obviously you can't do nothing but given that part of Daiji's issues are hella insecurities related to I don't think this 'Fight Daiji' plan is gonna work out tbh. In all seriousness though I can see what Ikki's trying to do and under normal circumstances it might be a good idea to get to what Daiji's really feeling but I think right now Daiji just needs someone to listen to him. I think the best thing for Ikki to do is bs and stroke Daiji's ego just a little to get a conversation going and work from there. I think it's unfortunately a difficult situation in-universe as they obviously don't have the meta insight we do.

Oh sh*t

I was so caught up in the euphoria of beating the shxt out of Daiji I forgot the fact that would only make things worse—

[rhodesrider]

Hunting for a Rabbit -P2-

NSFW! 18+! Minors DNI!

Warnings: Rough sex, cumplay, creampies, Degrading names, anal sex, train, double penetration, taking pictures, oral sex

(Part One is Here)

~

“Fuck that’s it.” Dean chuckled as he started to fill up Y/N for the second time within the hour they captured her. “F-fuck daddy~” She moaned out and soon a fat dick was shoved in her mouth, she gagged on it slightly and soon her mouth was being used like a flesh light. “Shut up bitch and get my load off next.” Roman growled low as he used her throat. She let her tongue hang out as she gargled and drooled over his dick going in and out her throat. “Dean move I want next.” Seth said as dean was still going. “Wait come on one more please? I want my cum leaking out of this slut.” He chuckled kissing on her back. Seth rolled her eyes and soon Roman finished up fucking her mouth pumping a load in her. “Keep it in there baby.” He smiled and got his phone out taking a picture of cum stewing in her throat. “Now ain’t she pretty.” Roman smiled kissing her forehead.

“Swallow.” Roman commanded and she quickly gulped down the load. “Good girl.” Dean finished up and picked her up, his dick slipping out and cum dripping out of her pussy. “That’s beautiful.” Seth bit his lip taking another picture of her filled wrecked pussy. They haven’t heard her safe-word yet so they are using her like the sex doll she is after being hunted. Seth sat back and they sat her down on his throbbing dick and he groaned grabbing he holding her close fondling with her tits. She shook crying out as Seth was a bit for her. He sigh grabbing her and tossing her on the bed. “We were so focused on one thing boys we forgot to give this tight thing attention.” He took his creamed covered cock, spitting on her asshole for lube slowly going in. She gripped the blanket shaking and crying some. Seth stopped and halted the boys.

“Princess are we too much for you?” Y/N shook her head no. “I’m sorry it’s just your big and this is my first time doing anal with you guys…” she said wiping her tears away. “Baby we don’t have-“ “No p-please I wanna at least try Seth…” she looked back and he nodded starting to go in. Roman smiled kissing you to comfort you some. “Baby it’s ok just a few more inches.” Seth said as he started to get the rest in. He was finally in bottoming her out. “See baby. It wasn’t that bad.” Dean said giving her kisses too. “Y-yea just give me a minute before you move please.” “Ok baby.” Seth said trying his hardest not to wreck her ass. She sighed ready after a minute and he started to move slow groaning some from the tightness. “Fuck baby you feel so good.” He moaned out. “F-fuck…” she was still getting comfort but also stroking Dean and Roman blushing. “Can I go a bit faster baby?” Seth asked starting to pick up the pace. She arched her back squealing and soon felt water go down her legs. She squirted. Roman leaned over to rub her pussy more as it splashed everywhere. She cried out tongue kissing Dean riding her orgasm out. Seth groaned as he leaned forward and started to cum in her. “Fuck yes~” Dean and Roman watched her face as she was finally fucked stupid. “Hey Dean…I call bottom.” Dean nodded as they got Y/N together for a double penetration pose.

Roman knew he was too damn big for her to go in her ass, he would tear her. So he let Dean get her ass. He went in her leaking pussy as dean slowly went in her ass and they started working together on using her up. She drooled from pleasure and Seth sat in a chair watching as he was done for tonight. She kisses Roman squealing as Dean roughly fucked her ass, moaning out. “Fuck baby you’re so perfect angel~” he said gripping her neck. He held still for Roman to get his hits in and he soon hit her spot. “THERE!” She cried out holding on to Roman and she started to cum. They both came in unison and pulled out, laying in the bed, Dean holding Y/N.

After a while no one moved. Y/N sat up a bit and looked around seeing the three tired. She started to scoot off the bed going to give herself a shower but Roman stopped her. “Guys get up, Y/N is still up.” Y/N thought she was gonna get fucked more but no, she was helped by Seth, who held her and Dean groaned getting a bath ready. “Rock paper scissors on who cleans her?” He asked. They did a quick one and Roman won. He smiled and he helped her to the bathroom putting her hair up humming and watching the bath, while the boys fixed the room up. “You good baby girl?” He asked rubbing her shoulders. She nodded and watched as he turned off the water and added some of her bath essentials. He got her in and sat behind her, holding her. “You did a great job tonight baby.” He assures. “And you were amazing during hunt.” She smiled getting forehead kisses. “Angel! You hungry!?” She nodded yes, not taking much to recover her voice. “Yea she is!” Roman spoke for her.

They all sat in the living room, watching tv, Y/N was cuddled in the middle of Seth and Dean as Roman was on the floor getting his hair messed with. “I love you guys.” Y/N said getting an individual kiss from each man. “We love you too baby.” Seth said smiling. “More than anything.” Dean said kissing behind her ear. Roman yawned agreeing. She just smiled.

My boys.

Thank you.

[sevikasmainwhore]

I just came across your arcane pregnancy HC's and they're so good!! Can I request the ladies of arcane finding out you're accidentally pregnant with another goblin? [if this makes you uncomfortable then you don't have to do it :), pregnancy can be a big trigger for some]

“AGAIN???”

Arcane Ladies finding out you’re pregnant again. 😭

Requested ⇢ Yes/No

Type ⇢ Headcanons ❥

❤️ Vi had been a bomb of emotions when she first found out, it took maybe a span of 3 weeks to get her back to normal. Everything was going smoothly and Vi and you sex life was better than ever. Well not completely. Ever since you got pregnant Vi was scared she’d get you pregnant again. You kept telling her it was a one time thing, it won’t ever happen again. This calmed her down a bit and one night she went all out. After that you didn’t feel abnormal or anything but Vi kept bugging you about checking just in case. You went for an Ultrasound just to ease Vi’s nerves. Bad Idea. “Congrats you two, looks like you’re having another” Vi fell out on the floor and didn’t wake up until around noon. You both got there at like 9am.

💙 Caitlyn had that thought and it made her scared to ever have sex with you. It was bit of teasing here and there but all together that’s where it stopped. She was happy with what she had now, you both were doing what you can to raise your child but to have another one would be a pain and Caitlyn didn’t want to risk it. That is until one night she couldn’t help herself. She was tired of the teasing and made you feel like you were on top of the world. After that it was like she had a feeling she fucked up. She had this look on her face that screamed “I fucked up” up until your appointment. And she did. “Congratulations Kirammans, looks like your pregnant”. She didn’t know what to do, but one thing she did know was that she should’ve listened to her gut. It was gonna be a wild ride for her. Two times.

💛 Mel let everything go to be a mother. She meant her every word when she said she wanted a family but it was best if she was a on the slow side of things rather than jumping back into things so sex was always a second thought. Until one day she came home a bit stressed so you gave her a massage to ease it off. Bad Idea. Mel woke up stressed at the possibility of having another child. She immediately booked an appointment. Yes she wanted to have a family with you but she still hasn’t gotten completely used to just one, and it was a possibility of another???? Oh no she couldn’t do it. At least not right now. It was the day of the appointment and Mel was a train wreck. Did she want this? Did you want this again??? “Well Counselor Medarda, looks like your gonna be a mother once again” Okay. That did it. Mel had to take a walk around the office for a good couple of laps. You were pregnant again. You really were pregnant again.

🧡 Grayson was conflicted. She doesn’t want to get you pregnant again and have you go through any of that at all but on the other hand she hated going to bed all frustrated and bothered when your right next to her all soft and naked ready to be used. So it was a scale of what she wanted to do. Until one night you went to bed wearing a lingerie set she bought you and forgot about. She couldn’t help herself. It was a long night. But the next morning Grayson could hardly remember anything until 2 weeks later you bring up the idea of you being pregnant once again. She immediately booked the earliest appointment possible. Here you were sitting having your belly looked at while Grayson sat next to you looking calm as possible but her leg bouncing up and down. It was calm before the storm. “Congratulations Sheriff-..” The doctor could barely get the words out before Grayson was out on the floor. You couldn’t help but stare while the doctor called for help “I told you Grayson”

🤎 Ambessa didn’t really care, but she wasn’t careless. If you got pregnant again then oh well but she kept that possibility in mind whenever you both did it. Well one night she got a bit carried away. You have no clue what happened but the next thing you knew you were screaming her name, almost positive you were gonna wake up the neighbors. The next morning everything started flooding back to her. She didn’t immediately go into “I fucked up” mode because maybe you were lucky so she waited. When you complained about feeling sick, that’s when an alarm set of so she booked an appointment. So here you are with Ambessa pacing the room. 2 minutes had passed when- “Well you two, looks like you’ll be eating for two from now on” Oh no. Ambessa was feeling a mix emotions. It was her fault. She shook her head, chuckling. “You’re pregnant…again…” For the whole ride home she couldn’t stop saying that. It was really annoying but you were almost positive it was out of shock. It shouldn’t last too long.

💜 Sevika didn’t take that chance. She was already stressing about the first child and her dirty work on top. If you were to get pregnant again then who knows what would happen. So with that she held off on having sex with you for a good couple of weeks. Key word weeks. Sevika had to let out that pent up stress and you were so willing so every thought of you getting pregnant just flew out the window and she went crazy. It was most likely the best night of your life. Sevika on the other hand was going through everything at once. She actually didn’t make an appointment, on her day off she just walked right in with you in her arms. She didn’t want that chance of you getting pregnant again. Sevikas sitting across from you staring at the monitor, not sure what she’s hoping for while you’re gleefully sitting in the seat. A couple minutes later- “Well Sevika, you got your hands full” Sevika shook her head. She knew it. You weren’t sure if she accepted it or if she was still in awe because once you both left she’d have random burst of thoughts like “I can’t believe it” “We have to do that again???” “You really are pregnant” It took some getting used to but you were sure she accepted it. I think.

💟 Renata was still a bit confused on how you got pregnant in the first place so she was a bit hesitant to have sex with you for a month. What if you got pregnant again? Even worse, what if she got pregnant?? Renata KNEW she didn’t want that so she just stuck to the side and whatever happens happens. Well it was maybe late and she was still at her office, bothered and annoyed, when you came up there to visit her. You looked so beautiful and so easy. Renata couldn’t help herself. So maybe a few days after that Renata had a sense of mind to make you an appointment. Even after you telling her “Hey, it’s okay, i’m on birth control” She still wanted to make sure. Now you both were in the doctors office with Renata sitting across from you while your in the chair having your stomach looked at. Her leg was bouncing up and down and her arms were crossed. You didn’t know what she was feeling. “Well, Congratulations you two-.” Renata couldn’t even let the poor doctor get the last few words out before she’s cursing up a storm. Every swear word possible. Even made up a few. Seeing such a sophisticated women loose her cool was so funny yet so disturbing.

note: hey :)

[folkloreguk]

French Class [6]

A/N: You guys might want to whack out your love song playlist for this one…I cried writing this BYE I'm posting this from my grave!!

genre: optional bias (m) x reader (f), fwb, f2l?, college!au, fuckboy!bias, nerd!reader, ANGST, smut

words: ~ 3.8 k

✽series masterlist✽

taglist (lmk if u wanna be added!): @lovely-ateez, @runaway-fics, @mainexiii, @awfullytiredbuthealing, @erikyoong, @etherealuv, @staysuki, @justcuz-ican, @yeostars, @hyuckthangs, @teenloves, @mexious18-blog, @sunghoonied, @mailobjaeyoon

couldn’t tag: @chorizoek

You: can I come over? I kind of need u

H/N: you need me huh…you’re lucky I’m home alone

It always starts differently. Some other question, or a subtle message of telling him you’re bored, or a flat-out confession of being horny. The ending is always the same. You, naked in his bed. You just had to get there, and things were easy when you were already on his dorm’s doorstep.

The moment he had opened the door, you had fistfuls of his hair between your fingers and attacked his mouth in a feverish kiss. He made a noise between a laugh and surprise but reacted quickly. His lips parted right away, letting you in, and you tasted mint from the chewing gum he liked so much.

“Let me- at least- close the door,” he mumbled. “Jeez, what’s gotten into you today?”

You stepped aside and mirrored his grin. He was acting surprised, but the way he instantly locked your lips after he had shut the door told you he was enjoying this as much as you were. You ran your hands down his torso and along the side of his thighs. His happy hum only poured oil into the fire, and you saw no reason as to why you should have kept your clothes on any longer. In minutes, in the middle of heated kisses and clumsy chuckles, your clothes were discarded, and you were left in your underwear. You stumbled into his bedroom in a tangle of arms and legs and heads barely pulling apart.

“Will you tell me about the date you had today or are we skipping over that part?” he asked, as he pushed you down by the shoulders onto his bed. You groaned a little, not even knowing where to start.

“Didn’t go well, huh?” he asked. Only a few nights ago you had consoled him after his failed date, now the roles were reversed.

“That’s one way to put it,” you said. He was climbing on top of you now, and the weight of him between your thighs still did the same things to you it had done the first time. There was one of his random playlists playing quietly from the speakers, but you were both too occupied to even consider switching the music off. You weren’t in the mood for a chat, not when he was biting and sucking bruises into your chest, pushing aside your bra just enough. But you knew he wasn’t going to let it go this easily.

“Tell me about it or I won’t take one more piece of clothing off your body,” he threatened. You shot him an are-you-serious-look while he only blinked at you innocently, like he was awaiting your response.

“Fine,” you groaned. “But hurry, now.”

“That’s my girl,” he said, before unclasping your bra and throwing it to the other side of the room. “Go ahead, I expect a story.”

You had rolled your eyes at him, but when he sucked on your nipple all of a sudden, and his tongue flicked over the sensitive bud ever so perfectly, your eyes moved to the back of your head involuntarily. And, before he could complain, you started to retell today’s events.

“Alright. First of all, he acted all gentleman-y. Pulling back my chair at the restaurant, letting me have a look at the menu first, letting me order first, asking me if I was okay with our seats because they were in the sunshine, or whether he should have requested we get a different in the shade table, blah, blah, blah.”

With the lewd noises he was making, kissing your chest and fumbling with your breasts, you almost wondered whether he was paying attention to you at all.

“I’m waiting for the plot twist,” he chuckled. “If he had been this great, you wouldn’t be in my bed right now, would you?” He was now on his way to your lower regions. Your breaths came out shaky when he gripped your hips with familiar fingertips and placed a few kisses there, right above the material of your underwear. Nonetheless, you had to continue your story.

“Oh, it’s coming,” you said. “Because I suspect, the only reason he was acting that way was to compensate. For the fact that he was an hour late.”

He stifled a laugh, and you slapped his head playfully. “It’s not funny! I stood outside that restaurant on a busy street like an idiot for an hour. During exam season!”

“I wonder, if studying is so special to you- ,” he said. He tugged on your underwear, and you barely cared about his words when you were already imagining his mouth on your pussy. “Why aren’t you at home right now, doing just that?”

“Too frustrated,” you groaned, spreading your legs, practically inviting him in. “You don’t get it. That was only the beginning of the date. It gets worse.”

“Oh, damn,” he laughed, and you were going to slap him again. Harder, this time. But his tongue kitten-licked over your clit and you didn’t dare interrupt him further.

“First of all, he turned out to be boring. An economics major. And look, I’m not generalizing, I’ve met some cool economics majors. But when I said I never really understood the whole thing with inflation and deflation, I wasn’t asking for him to explain it to me. I know what it means, I just meant to say money is the root of all evil,” you said, little moans slipping inbetween your sentences. He laughed whilst sipping on your clit. You couldn’t be mad at his laughing anymore. In fact, at the sound of his chuckles, your own lips curled into a smile, too. God, he was so good with his tongue.

“But turns out he loved money. Like it was the sole reason he was doing anything. When he showed me his gold watch I almost yawned,” you continued.

“Dating a rich guy can have its upsides too, though,” he said, but you knew he was joking. He was running the tips of his fingers over your core, and you whimpered at how badly you wanted him to put them inside of you. You loved watching him, loved feeling his hair tickle the side of your thighs and having his free hand laying on top of your hipbone. The familiarity of it all, his little habits, made your heart heavy, so full of emotion, all of a sudden. But you had to snap out of it.

“Not this guy. He kept saying these lowkey sexist things I won’t repeat now. It’ll only make me mad again. He was one of those who thought money would buy him a girlfriend. And I was really trying to see the good in him…only there was none,” you said.

“Alright, I’m starting to understand why you needed some cheering up,” he said. “Good thing you’re at the right place. I know just the thing.”

At this, he slid his digits into you. You hummed and dropped your head into the plush pillow. Slowly, you exhaled, happy you finally got to relax after being so upset. But of course, he had to interrupt. Again.

“Did I say you could stop? Was that the end of the story?” he said. How did he expect you to form a coherent sentence? He fingered you gently, but the slowness of it all only drove you crazier. You felt every tiny sensation, every new bit of you he touched.

“No,” you sulked. “Fuck, it feels so good.”

“Go on, then,” he encouraged you, grinning because he was proud of your reaction he had caused.

“Fuck- okay. He was super shitty to the waiter. I’m talking about criticizing everything. This man had the audacity to complain about the food. I’m not a food critic, but I swear the food was amazing, there was nothing to fault at all,” you said, and then whined when he switched from licking your clit to sucking it between his teeth. You knew he was doing this on purpose. To make speaking harder for you.

“Oh my god, H/N. Wait, let me finish this. Not only was he horrible to the waiter in person, but he also made fun of the waiter’s appearance behind his back. And all along he expected me to find him funny. I used to think he had a sense of humor but not after today. Blech.”

“At least you got a free dinner?” he said, and without awaiting your answer, went back to work. Your head was spinning in pleasure, and you could only laugh sarcastically at his suggestion.

“Yeah. And after that train wreck of a date, he really thought he’d get to stick his tongue down my throat,” you said.

“Did he at least ask permission?” asked the boy between your legs.

“Mhm…but I told him I don’t do that on the first date,” you said. “Safe to say there won’t be another date, though.”

He looked up now, laughing more than before. You grinned, mainly because the sight of him was so cute. He folded his hands on your belly and put his face down onto your skin to giggle. In no way could you be upset or urge him to keep giving you head. In fact, you had forgotten about all of that for a while, as he seemed to enjoy your misfortune a little too wildly. You should have been hungry, eager to have the half-naked boy inside of you. Yet, you laughed at the way his breaths tickled your stomach and when he finally made eye contact, it was a wholly different sort of hunger which overcame you. Instead of the heat he usually made you feel, it was a comfortable warmth that was in your chest. It reminded you of a bonfire or of drinking your favorite hot drink on a cool autumn day.

“I want to watch you come,” he said, casually. “Were you close?”

You were so lost in his trustworthy, dreamy eyes, you almost forgot to reply. Quickly, you nodded and hummed.

“I would have already come, had you not pestered me to tell you all the details of my date,” you said. The way his cheeks beamed when he smiled made you feel as if your insides were turning into mush.

“I’m sorry. I’m your friend, aren’t I allowed to ask how your day went?” he asked.

“Of course you are,” you said. The word ‘friend’ echoed off every wall in your head until you wished you could have deleted it from the dictionary.

“I’ll make sure it feels extra good now,” he said, kissing your stomach. You shivered as you watched his gentle lips move lower, to your hips and the insides of your thighs. The touch felt like butterfly wings on your skin, and the tardiness of it made you impatient. When his tongue came in contact with your clit again, you sucked in a breath of surprise.

He tried to start slowly, but then you gripped his hair tightly, and carefully pushed him further. It was something you did often, a way to tell him you wanted more without having to use words. After all this time, he understood perfectly. Your clit was between his lips and his tongue flicked over the sensitive bundle of nerves with just the right amount of pleasure. It felt incredible, creating a funny sensation in the pit of your stomach. His fingers grazed over your slit until you were whimpering and shifting your hips, trying to make him hurry.

One of his digits slid into you easily, curling against your sweet spot, and it hit you only now how much you had missed him between your legs since he had stopped a few minutes ago. It made you feel as though you were suddenly overwhelmed with all of him, but you were willing to let the heat crash over you if it meant you could be close to him.

“Am I making it up to you now?” he asked as he pulled away merely for a breath. “I’ll turn your day into a good one after all.”

In a different tone his words would have sounded like the exact thing one would have expected to hear from a fuckboy in the bedroom. He could have boasted and bragged endlessly about how great he was with his tongue and fingers – he would have been right – but he didn’t mean it like that. You could tell from the uprightness and the authenticity in his voice that he really was doing his best because he wanted to make you feel better and turn your day around. Because you were special to him. Or so you desperately hoped.

Your legs wrapped around his shoulders as if you were trapping him between your thighs. But he was right there, and he would gladly stay for so much longer, and to say it puzzled you was an understatement. The boy who belonged to everybody, who was known by all of the campus, was treating you like you were royalty, and not the other way around. You moaned, his name inevitably falling from your lips. He added another finger and the slightest stretch made you lose your mind for a split second.

“That guy could have never made you feel this good, could he?” he suddenly asked. Your initial response was a helpless whine. You had been so close, and his talking had interrupted the otherworldly bliss for a moment.

“No, never,” you then whimpered shortly. ‘No’ was such a tiny word. It could barely encapsule what you truly meant to say. Which was that it would have never even gotten that far. That other guys couldn’t even have you at all. They didn’t get their turn to try and beat him. Not as of lately, at least. That you didn’t so much as dare to think about sleeping with other guys. That even before you had gone on the date, you had known it wouldn’t lead to anything. No guy could let you develop an interest on him in the same way the boy between your legs had done it. No other would be able to kidnap your brain like that. H/N was always there. Even when it was only you and your sex toys, you would automatically pretend it was him getting you off. You were so far gone that it was embarrassing how long it had taken you to admit it to yourself. But it was a colossal thing to confess to him, and you would never do that. Rejection would hurt a billion times more than whatever it was you two had now.

Your heart was racing as you closed your eyes. You had been so lost in thought, it was wondrous you hadn’t fallen yet. But you were right on the edge, making your breaths come out like puffs and a string of moans and swears sound from your lips. He too had stopped talking, concentrating on the task at hand, and judging by the way your back arched he was doing one hell of a good job.

“Oh my god- “ you whimpered. “I’m so close, H/N.”

This time he didn’t reply, which was for the best. Only a few seconds passed until you started to quiver and whine beneath him. You were going to outer space behind your eyelids as your high rushed through you. Your fingers curled and tightened in his locks while your legs clenched around his head. He was quick to pull your thighs apart again, still not being finished. For long seconds you swam in pleasure, with nothing on your mind but bursting stars. He was heaven, knowing precisely how far he could take it until you were too sensitive to take any more.

When you were at that point, he finally pulled away and looked up at your crumpled form. There was a lazy smile playing in the corner of your lips and your vision was hazy after having had your eyes closed for a while. He climbed up your body until his chest was against yours so he could really look at you.

“I get all of this without ever having been on a single date with you? I’m so lucky,” he said. You only smiled at him, at a loss for words. What were you to say? The two of you were clearly past the awkward dating stage already.

“I’m lucky you let me come over all the time,” you said. “I would have expected the campus fuckboy to be busier. To not have an empty spot in his bed every night.”

“Ah, shut up,” he said. “I’d rather have you here than a girl I don’t know at all. Look, I’m really tired so I don’t know how this will go…but can I?” He was on his knees, a tent visible in his boxers. With a questioning look, he was tugging them down his legs now.

“Of course,” you said. As you watched him roll on a condom, your ears perked up. Did that song have to come on shuffle just now? The coziest, most romantic love song you adored so much? You knew if you looked him in the eyes you’d be done for. But there wasn’t anywhere else to look when he settled between your legs and held up his weight with his forearms. His eyes were deep enough for you to get lost within a second. Distracting yourself was impossible. The one last thing you could do was to reach between the two of you and guide his length into you.

The song’s chorus came on, you looked at him once again, and suddenly you were all his. You didn’t need to tell him so. He thrust gently, almost carefully, like he had never done it with you. Your heart hammered against your ribcage so vivaciously, you wondered whether it had turned autonomous and was now trying to jump out of your body, onto his skin and through it, so it could nestle next to his own heart.

Neither of you spoke. Yet, there had never been so much chemistry, such a heavy amount of uncommunicated emotions between the two of you. You were ready to hang on his every word, should he decide to speak up. In your head rampaged a billion sentiments you needed him to know, but there was no option to express them adequately. Perhaps there were simply no words in the English language to declare your feelings for him.

Small whimpers and moans left your lips only for him to hear. Sometimes he moved a little quicker, gifting you with the most perfect sounds he could make. And to know you were the cause for it sent you into overdrive. His mouth was right above yours. If you lifted your head slightly, you could have kissed his sweet, sweet lips. But you were so afraid. What would he think? You had never kissed him during sex. Not softly, like you wanted it so terribly.

Even worse, you craved so much more than that. You wanted to pull him in, envelope his mouth in your own, crawl over the edge of his lips and reside in his chest for safety. Because that’s what he was. Comfort. Reassurance. Home. How foolish you had been, pretending this little fling would lead to nothing more. You really had told yourself this would work. No feelings. Just fun. You couldn’t deny having fun with him. He was the best company you had ever known, and he had become your most precious friend quickly. It was as if you had only been waiting for the silly, flirty boy to sit across from you in the library and make weak advances towards you.

The love song tuned out slowly, replaced by something more sensual and sinful. In accordance with the new background noise, he gripped your hips a little meaner and went faster. You barely noticed how his breathing had sped up as he was getting closer to his orgasm. A trance had overcome you, transfixing you on his godlike features and how much it hurt to know you couldn’t call him yours. In your head you were made for each other. They always said to date your best friend, didn’t they? You could try to turn back time, go back to your first meeting place, at the party. See if things would turn out different. But you knew they wouldn’t. As much as your fear tried to suppress it – you would take the same path again, stumbling head-first into his arms and letting him into your life like a crashing wave of laughter and heart-crushing conversations.

Now you reflected in despair, how he had taken your heart in a storm, without having to try too hard. And worst of all, you were okay with it. Your heart was secure with him, you thought. The feelings yearned to be spoken out loud, but you couldn’t bring yourself to do it.

“You feel so good,” he said. “Always, so fucking good.”

He snapped his hips against yours, burying his cock deep inside of you and all you could muster was a hum of agreement. This is what you got for keeping him at arms-length from the beginning. Wasn’t it you who had challenged him to be friends and only that? Perhaps you would be okay, so long as no one else called him theirs either. You could go on like this, letting him use you for sexual relief and making him laugh when he needed it. Gladly, you would take the pain of not being allowed to love him with your whole being if it meant you could see him whenever you wanted. Exposing those silly emotions would wreck your friendship and you wouldn’t let it happen.

He grunted and only then, when he lowered his head into the crook of your neck and moaned your name, you realized he was reaching his high. Softly, you cradled his head in your hands, as if it was the last time you could hold him like this. When he put his forehead against yours, he had his eyes closed and his chest was moving steadier than before.

“You’re the best,” he whispered. “Stay the night?”

Should you have gone home, and missed him all night? Would you have regretted saying no while you curled up in bed with no Cheshire-cat-grin-boy to hold? Or were you to remain in his bed, and pray you would survive the torture of not speaking your mind? His skin radiated the most wonderful warmth and you wanted to trace his lips with your eyes until you fell asleep. That’s how quickly it was decided.

“Okay,” you answered.

[mc-lukanette]

GOD Furious Fu genuinely pissed me off SO MUCH so hopefully you don’t mind me coming over here to ask for some kinda Lukanette fix it for that train wreck??? Like, not even anything super detailed, if you don’t feel like it, maybe just “Marinette caves, gives the Miracle Box to Su-Han, gets spotty memories and Luka (+ Kitty Section and Kagami, maybe) help her out and worry over her.” Maybe Tikki even realizes she screwed up. If not it’s fine but Lukanette makes everything better so I had to ask.

Warning: it’s gonna be a ride.

��————

Luka looked over as his phone started ringing, brows raising at the sight of Marinette's icon popping up on the screen. It'd been rare for her to call him after all the complications that came with them dating, so he was surprised to say the least.

Nevertheless, he rested an arm on his guitar and reached across his bed with his other to pick up the phone, answering the call and moving the device to his ear. "Hey, Marinette."

"Hey, Luka..."

His heart sank at the sound of her voice. It was a whole mix of emotions, but above all else, she sounded tired. He wondered what she'd gone through for her voice to play those sorts of notes.

"Did anything happen?"

"No," she answered almost instantaneously. She paused, then let out a small whine. "I-I'm sorry. I'm so used to lying, but—I guess I don't have to do that anymore."

He stayed silent, allowing her to continue.

"I—" Marinette took an audible breath, then let it out, her voice lowering to a whisper as if she were scared of someone else hearing.

"I'm...I'm Ladybug, Luka."

Luka's first reaction was shock, though he couldn't be sure if it was the identity bomb she dropped or just the fact that she told him at all. Then, once the surprise died down, the idea that Marinette was Ladybug wasn't that surprising in itself. and he couldn't imagine who else it could've been otherwise.

Smart, talented, caring, selfless... it all added up.

But that also made it all the more painful when he realized what it meant. Immediately, all the dates that she'd missed and all the things he'd been concerned about made sense, and it hurt.

That was the secret she couldn't share with him, no matter how badly she might've wanted to.

The last thought in particular was odd to him, and he couldn't help voicing it, "I... thank you for telling me, Marinette, but... why now?"

She took another breath, more unsteady this time, like she were a guitar with something jammed inside the base. "Because—I'm about to forget it, and now I can't stop thinking about everything I might forget; how I want someone to know. You were the first - the only - person I thought of." Then, hesitantly, she asked, "Is that okay?"

Luka swallowed, feeling the whiplash of another dropped bomb right before the kind of casual compliment that made his heart race. "Of...of course it is."

She sighed in relief. "Thank you."

He tried to keep quiet, but couldn't hold back from questioning, "You said 'forget'..."

"Yeah, because I'm guardian now. There was someone else before and they gave me the ladybug miraculous, but—" She paused, as if considering something, then seemed to shift the conversation. "See, I didn't know anything about being a hero at the start, and... I screwed up." Before Luka could ask or recall the event, she continued, "I let the first ever akuma go, and it let Hawk Moth spread his butterflies everywhere when Ivan got akumatized again. I fixed it, but it was still my mistake that started it."

"Marinette—"

"—and I always tried. I tried my best no matter what I did. I tried to be a good Ladybug, a good student, a good daughter, a good friend... and I tried to get Adrien's attention." She groaned, though the sound seemed muffled, perhaps by her hand. Her voice cracked as she went on, "That's where everything went so wrong, Luka. I knew I had bad luck, but no matter how hard I tried, things would go bad. It was humiliating, and I kept thinking that maybe I just wasn't trying hard enough. My parents had such a happy relationship and I wanted that, but I was just wasting my time. He was barely in my life but he got put into everything I did, and I made so many mistakes from him. There's a liar in school who wants to turn everyone against me, and Alya thinks I'm just jealous because of Adrien. Chloe convinced me to do things I'm not proud of, and it took a while for me to be Kagami's friend. I didn't listen to my kwami and used my miraculous for my own gain, and..."

"What's wrong with that?" he questioned, voice pained. "What's wrong with using your miraculous for you? You save Paris every other day—"

"—because bad things happen, Luka," she stressed as if it were something urgent. "Bad things happen when I... feel."

There was a pit in his stomach. He knew he shouldn't ask - knew he wouldn't like the answer - but he hoped for better regardless. "Feel... what?"

"Anything."

He hunched forward, not strumming his guitar but running his fingers along the strings, desperate for something to busy himself with. His shoulders were stiff and his chest felt tight, unable to fathom what she'd been going through compared to what he'd merely seen on the surface.

"No matter what I did, no matter what I felt... it was wrong, Luka. I embarrassed Chloe in front of the whole class and she wanted to move to New York. She'd bullied me for years and I was so happy." She sounded conflicted, like instruments that didn't go together. "Adrien told me it was terrible. He didn't know why I could celebrate it. I felt awful, so I gave her a chance; I gave her a miraculous."

Luka anxiously rubbed one of the strings between his thumb and index finger, torn between seething and trying to reassure her despite knowing that she'd cut him off.

"She got it in her head that she deserved it, but with Mayura around, it wasn't safe to let her keep having it. I had to tell her 'no,' and..." She let out a defeated noise. "Do you remember that day? At the park?"

She didn't need to specify, and his voice lost all life at the memory. "Yeah..."

"Adrien and Kagami were together. I let them go. They seemed so happy together and it was the right thing to do, but..."

She paused, and he braced himself.

"When I was going to see the guardian to get a miraculous, I saw them. I got distracted and I forgot to de-transform. Because of me, Hawk Moth found the guardian, and he got the miraculouses from him. By the time I realized what happened, it was too late, and Chloe got akumatized again to ruin me. Those bees you saw—they were hers. They mind-controlled everyone, and that's why your identities were compromised. The guardian had to give up the box with all the miraculouses in it to me - ladybug me - because Hawk Moth was probably about to kill him and become the next guardian." She let out a sob. "Giving up the box... it takes your memory with it."

Luka gripped the string he'd been rubbing.

"I don't know how much he lost, but... anything about the miraculouses was gone. He didn't recognize me. He didn't even recognize the love of his life. He had... feelings, but that was it. All because of me."

"Marinette—" he desperately tried to interject.

She cut him off, as he'd feared, "I'm just fixing my own mistakes. People think I'm a good Ladybug because they don't get that. They don't get that I'm just going in circles. My friends don't believe in me, my parents think I'm too clumsy to carry a tray, and... it always feels like someone - somewhere - is laughing at me, with every screw-up." She whimpered. "What good is a ladybug who gets people akumatized? Who gets her own boyfriend akumatized?"

"I don't blame you for that!" he shouted, intentionally raising his voice to talk over her.

He heard a small noise in response, though he couldn't tell if it was another whimper or a giggle.

"I'm sorry," she said, though what she was apologizing for seemed vague, "and thank you, for always being there for me. I'm glad I have time to talk to you before he gets back."

Luka had to calm himself down to ask worriedly, "He...?"

"The guardian; the one that came before the one I knew. He showed up in my room today and saw how I had all the kwami outside of the box; I guess you're not supposed to do that, and he wasn't happy. He told me about all these rules I broke and how I had to give everything back. I took him to meet Chat Noir, but Chat ran for it when he realized that I'd forget about him. The guardian is chasing him down now and I'm just here, with the box, waiting for him to get back."

Luka leaned back and stared at the ceiling, overwhelmed by the rush of information she'd thrown at him all at once. He hadn't even been the one to experience any of it and he still felt worn down as if he had.

"I—" He paused, not liking how his voice shook. "I wish I could've helped you, Marinette. I wish you hadn't had to do all of that alone. I know you feel like it's your fault, but even the best musicians miss notes and mess up. Please don't blame yourself."

She let out a non-committal noise and he knew then that nothing he said would help her. He was sure that she believed him, but words could only do so much, and unlearning what apparent months of suffering had taught her would be difficult.

Though, he supposed it wouldn't matter. "Will you forget... everything?"

"I don't know, but at least everything about Ladybug or the miraculouses will go." She let out a half-hearted chuckle. "I guess it was all for nothing in the end."

"It wasn't," Luka replied. "Marinette, no matter how many times you feel like you screwed up, you were still an amazing ladybug. Everything you said didn't change my mind about that." After a moment of thought, he added, "And that other guardian... how is he?"

He heard her take a breath, as if to give an automatic answer, but she stopped herself. "...He's away from Paris, living with the love of his life."

"See? That sounds better than being the guardian, in Paris, where Hawk Moth is," he pointed out. "Maybe he forgot more than he would've wanted, but—"

"Luka," she interrupted, as if something had just occurred to her.

He considered finishing what he was saying, but stopped himself in favor of wanting to hear her out. "Yeah?"

"A-ah... mm." She struggled briefly while trying to get the words out. "If—if I forget too much... if I forget you... would you still visit me?"

It wasn't that he hadn't thought about the possibility, but it hadn't been on the forefront of his mind either, mostly for the sake of keeping himself grounded.

After having an internal debate with himself, he settled for asking, "Would you want me to?"

"Don't say it like that," she pleaded. "Don't leave it all up to me. I...I'd understand if you decide you don't want to see me again. I wouldn't blame you, I just—" Her voice lowered to something both shy and fond. "—I'm my best self when I'm with you, Luka. We didn't date for that long, and maybe it would've been better for you if we never met, but I..."

The pause she made had him holding his breath, his grip on the phone tightening. He couldn't believe she would dare to imply that he wouldn't do it all over again; meeting her, writing songs about her, dating her...

Marinette let out a breath, and Luka noted that it sounded so... final, like this was really the end.

"I love you, Luka."

His heart hammered in his chest. "Marinette."

"Thank you, and I'm sorry," she whispered. After going quiet for a few seconds, her tone suddenly shifted as she said, "I have to go now. He's on his way."

Luka took a sharp intake of breath, but the click of the call came before he could speak. He could only stare down at the phone, Marinette's contact image staring back as an emptiness washed over him.

Then, he was on his feet, guitar tossed aside, and he'd never moved so fast before in his life.

—————

Marinette gazed at Luka's picture for a few more seconds, as if doing so would permanently imprint it into her memory, then sighed and tossed it onto her chaise lounge. She rubbed at her eyes, wiping away tiredness and unshed tears, unable to help wondering if Fu falling unconscious after his memory loss was something peaceful for him.

When she uncovered her eyes, she noticed the kwami, all distancing themselves from her but staring at her like she was a corpse in a coffin.

"What...?" she asked, though part of her already knew the answer.

They all exchanged glances, like they were debating telepathically, then Wayzz flew forward.

"I - we - we're so sorry, Marinette," he said. Bowing in respect, he added, "We got so excited, and we only caused you more problems."

Marinette shrugged, only able to offer a defeated smile. "There's nothing we can do now. It's too late to change anything."

Tikki approached, her body hunched over and making her look even smaller than she already was. "I-I should've said something. I let him talk to you like that and I didn't do anything to stop him."

Marinette reached over, tempted to pet or touch her kwami in some way to help reassure her, but pulled back at the last moment, too conflicted about it.

The sound of something landing on the balcony followed, and Marinette stared up at it like she could see through her ceiling.

"...He's here," she stated. After giving one last look at all of her kwami, she focused specifically on Tikki and said, "Spots on."

Su-Han descended into her room, Ladybug standing in the center and wanting nothing more but to get things over with. He approached her, raising his fist and then opening it to show her the ring inside; Chat Noir's ring. Plagg, meanwhile, hovered aimlessly around the room, not meeting anyone's eyes and probably sensing the tension.

"That crybaby was even more of a fool than I'd thought," Su-Han commented, "giving a miraculous to a boy whose face is all over this village."

"What?" Ladybug blurted out. A boy whose face was all over—but that meant—"Adrien?"

Su-Han raised a brow. "A friend of yours?" He promptly scoffed. "That makes him even more foolish."

She couldn't even find it in herself to respond, too busy grappling with so casually being told something she'd intended to never learn about if she could help it.

Adrien was Chat Noir? It explained a little bit of everything and made her feel a lot of everything at the same time, like the two personalities meshed together to create something both shocking yet profoundly upsetting. She saw her memories with Adrien in place of Chat Noir and vice versa, unable to separate the two and pursing her lips as she recognized that, perhaps if things had been a little different...

"Young lady," Su-Han called strictly, pulling her out of her trance. "I don't have time to waste here. Relinquish the Miracle Box to me, at once."

"A-ah..." Ladybug could only nod, still dazed but at least focused enough to respond. She stared down at her hands, staring at the red and single black spot on the back of each, then sighed and closed her eyes, accepting that it was the last time she'd see them.

"I, Ladybug, hereby relinquish the Miracle Box..."

The last feeling she'd remember as Ladybug was a deep, unrelenting regret; regret for all the things she did do, didn't do, and the things that weren't even in her control.

Then, as her mind was fogging and she was slipping into darkness, she felt something else.

She felt free.

—————

Luka didn't bother saying a word to Tom or Sabine when he charged inside the bakery, both of them letting out various shouts of concern as he bolted past them and ran up the stairs. He nearly tripped multiple times, but he never stopped moving. He dashed up each flight until his eyes locked on the door to Marinette's living room.

He opened the door in a hurry, ignoring the sound of it slamming against the wall, and headed right for the stairs to Marinette's room. He threw caution to the wind and pushed open the trap door in the same fashion, his eyes scanning the place in a panic.

Then, his gaze fell upon Marinette, lying there on the floor, earrings gone, and he realized that he was too late. If he were honest, he hadn't known exactly what he'd rushed there to do - try and prevent the memory loss? tell her how wrong she'd been during their call? call out the guardian for treating his beloved so cruelly? - but now that he was there, all he could think about was being there for her.

He took a moment to catch his breath, then approached and knelt down next to her. Slipping his arms underneath her, he lifted her up and brought her over to her chaise lounge, wanting to at least get her off the floor. Her phone had been resting on the chaise’s cushion, but he simply moved it to the table after setting her down.

He paced around the room, raking his fingers through his hair and ruffling it. His mind was still racing, as was his heart, and his running had nothing to do with either. He knew that, whether Marinette had her memory or not, she was the song in his head, and any pain that would come with her not knowing him couldn't compare to the pain of not seeing her again. She wasn't a burden, and no matter how many excuses he might have to come up with, he wasn't going to let her be alone, especially not when she trusted him with a secret that she'd only let him hear.

He was so distracted by his thoughts that he almost didn't hear the slight shuffling noise, though the sound of Marinette stirring was what made him fully turn around to look at her. While she laid there, her eyes were half-lidded and unfocused, darting aimlessly around the room as if in search of something.

"Marinette," he whispered, rushing over to her. Bending over the chaise lounge, barely thinking, he asked gently, "Are you okay?"

"Mm..." Her eyes found his, and she blinked a few times before she actually seemed awake enough to answer him. "Luka?"

His breath, his words, his very sound, all caught in his throat. If he were a guitar, his strings would've snapped from the sudden release of tension.

"Y-you... know who I am?" he asked in a small voice.

She tilted her head at him, confused by the question. "Of course I do? You're my boyfriend."

Boyfriend. She said boyfriend. She didn't just remember him, she remembered her feelings for him.

He got misty-eyed from the realization, and Marinette's eyes widened in alarm.

"L-luka?" she called, brows furrowed with concern. She reached up with a hand, sliding it along his cheek. "What's wrong—what happened? I swear I'm okay, I—"

He shook his head, gently holding onto her wrist and feeling the steady rhythm of her pulse to ground himself. "Nothing, Marinette. Nothing happened. You—you just had a bad fall."

"O-oh. I...I'm sorry." She pushed herself up with her free hand. "I'm so clumsy. I didn't mean to worry—"

He couldn't wait any longer. He hugged her, squeezing her with every ounce of love that'd been accumulating since they'd originally broken up. Marinette didn't seem to understand the intensity of his actions, but didn't hesitate to hug him back either, even humming with content and burying her face into his shoulder.

Her song sang freely to him. It wasn't torn or twisted up, playing openly instead of staying locked in a music box. He couldn't have been happier after she'd given him such a scare before, and any remaining questions could come later.

For that moment, he just let their duet play free-er than it'd ever been able to before.

—————

"Luka~" Marinette called from the kitchen. When he looked over to her, she raised two different bottles of iced tea, waving them a bit for emphasis. "Which one do you want?"

He hummed, then pointed to the one in her left hand. She nodded at the decision, then put the other bottle back in the fridge, retrieving a bottled drink of her own before leaving the kitchen to join him on the couch.

The last few weeks had been a bit of a rollercoaster, but not necessarily in a bad way. He'd had to deal with Marinette's memory loss and simultaneously piece together how exactly it'd all worked out, but all in all, it was good for her.

Most of Marinette's memories outside of being Ladybug were in tact, and Luka had realized soon after she'd woken up from her memory loss that the reason she’d forgotten about their break up was exactly because it'd been related to her being Ladybug. He'd tried vaguely to explain it to her as if he hadn't known that she was Ladybug, wondering if those negative feelings still lingered, but they both still wanted to date each other and thus concluded that not dating after all that would've been silly. He knew full well that she wasn't going to be stressed or strapped for time anymore, so it wasn't a subject worth debating over, especially if it meant that they could move back into dating without issue.

She'd initially cried when he assured her that he was happy to continue dating her. She couldn’t comprehend why and he'd merely hugged her in reassurance, imagining that he was also hugging the Marinette of the past who didn't believe he'd want to date her again.

Outside of that, there were additional gaps in Marinette's memory that she couldn't explain, and Luka was certain that they were either Ladybug or guardian-related. Her parents had been particularly concerned by the losses, but Luka noted to himself that the lost memories were for the best. It was as if all of the memories that had caused her stress had evaporated, leaving only good ones behind.

Adrien was the big one, as she hadn't been able to remember him at all. At best, she was uncomfortable around him, and Luka did her the favor of removing any pictures of the guy from her cork board and phone. It took him a while to figure it out, but once he put together that Adrien was Chat Noir, things fell into place. Marinette had explained during their phone call that the previous guardian had lost his memory of the love of his life, but Luka imagined that she might've been his confidant for so long that thinking of her as anything else was impossible. Factor in that Marinette had also explained that her crush on Adrien had seeped into her being Ladybug, and it all added up; so long as the connection between the person and the miraculouses was unavoidable, they were forgotten.

And Marinette seemed all the happier for it. To some degree, it was tragic that Paris didn't have Ladybug anymore, but as far as Luka was concerned, Marinette needed to be rid of Ladybug more than Paris needed her, and Marinette's health took priority over all else.

The new ladybug holder was no replacement from the original, but Luka had expected that. Despite them being an adult and having access to as many lucky charms as they desired, no one could substitute Ladybug's instinct and ability to think on her feet.

But that wasn't Luka's problem, and he wholly intended to make sure that it wasn't Marinette's either. She'd heard that there was a previous ladybug, but had no interest in anything relating to the heroes nor their miraculouses. The most she'd said about them was one time where she'd idly commented that her homeroom and PE teachers had been "busier than she remembered," though she'd brushed it off as being related to her mild memory loss.

He'd giggled at that. He had been prepared to have to fall in love with a slightly different Marinette, but she honestly hadn't changed much; still caring, still generous, and still the adorable mess that he loved so much. She could afford to work on her confidence, sure, but he didn't fall for her due to what Ladybug had given her.

"Luka?"

He blinked, then looked down to her; her and her bright, happy eyes, the darkness underneath having faded long ago. She smiled at him, oblivious to his thoughts and a brow raised in amusement.

"Were you daydreaming?" she asked curiously, her hand covering his and giving it a casual squeeze.

Luka still couldn't quite believe that he was hers and she was his. He recalled Desperada, that fateful day where she - Ladybug at the time - had given him the snake miraculous, presumably after she'd tried to give it to Adrien. He wouldn't have admitted it at the time, but there was a pride in being able to do something that Adrien couldn't. He'd never forgotten her words either, knowing now that they were Marinette's.

"You were the right choice, Luka."

He sighed blissfully, bending down to press his forehead against hers and replying, "I'm just happy."

She let out a small whine at the sudden and sweet gesture, but still pressed back in return. "Me too."

They stayed in that moment until a sudden thumping noise brought them out of it, Luka jerking his head up to stare at where it'd come from: Marinette's room. Immediately recognizing what was happening, he groaned and rubbed his face in irritation.

As expected, the man Luka had come to know as Su-Han emerged, descending the stairs and locking eyes with Marinette. She recoiled, her hands clutching Luka's sleeve as she murmured, "Not you again..."

Luka gave her a reassuring pat on the shoulder, then got up from the couch and walked around to face Su-Han himself.

The man huffed. "I'm not here for—"

"Marinette wants nothing to do with you," Luka said lowly. He went for the living room door, opening it and gesturing outside. Su-Han followed with an air of self-importance and Luka closed the door behind them, leaving Marinette safely out of the conversation.

"The former ladybug had not even informed me of what she'd done," Su-Han explained. "Therefore, it's time she take responsibility and—"

Luka snapped, "You don't get to blame anything on Marinette. She did everything you asked her to and you made her give up her memories." He purposefully left out the fact that she was better off without said memories. "You're the one who insulted her song before you even got to hear it."

Su-Han squinted, the phrase clearly going over his head. "...What?"

At that point, the sound of footsteps came from downstairs, Luka glancing past the railing to see Tom coming up, perhaps having heard the voices even if he didn't hear any specific words.

The moment he saw Su-Han, Tom glared.

"Honey! That man bothering our daughter is back!" he shouted.

More footsteps followed, this time from Sabine and simultaneously much faster than Tom’s. Su-Han clearly caught on that this would be a repeat of "last time" (one of Luka's fonder memories of seeing the man be dealt with) and quickly fled back into the other room to return to Marinette's balcony and escape.

Once Luka had confirmed that everything was okay, he returned to the couch to sit at Marinette's side again. She tilted her head at him, but didn't ask any questions, Su-Han having become something on a "frequent but harmless weirdo" who she didn't understand.

Luka held an arm out invitingly, then wrapped it around Marinette when she snuggled against him. He used his free hand to open the bottle of iced tea - finding it difficult but also not worth leaving their cuddle to allow for both hands - then tipped the drink to his mouth to take a sip.

"Hey, Luka?" Marinette called, slightly shy in her delivery.

Luka met her gaze, setting the drink back on the table so he could give her his full attention. "Hm?"

"Could we... go on a date tomorrow?" she asked, one of her hands idly fiddling with the fabric of his pant leg. "I was thinking we could go buy a movie to watch? The one with Jagged Stone?"

He didn't know if the request had anything to do with the failed date that she may or may not recall anymore, but regardless, he was grinning like a fool. He pulled her closer, his free hand falling upon one of hers as he nuzzled her. "I'd love that."

He silently looked forward to the day where all the new memories he made with her outmatched the time lost from her old ones.

[bernadettefoxs]

friends don’t kiss me like you do

summary: lou and debbie have to fight their feelings for each other while working/living together + one very jealous lou miller.

length: long (and gay) enough

warnings: extreme fluff!! and a little angst

—

“Just leave it there, TamTam, Jesus.” Debbie spoke with an angry tone while Tammy was sitting at the other end of Lou’s couch, trying to fix Debbie’s heel that broke when she and Tammy ran home together after getting out of the cab on a rainy New York city night.

Debbie almost twisted her ankle stepping on a cobblestone and Tammy laughed, tugging her arm and helping Debbie steady herself, but one of her heels was now wrecked and the brunette was cursing under her breath, meeting an impatient Lou waiting for them by the door, whispering “what the fuck” when both women showed up looking like train wrecks, both a little drunk too. It was supposed to be a business dinner with one of Debbie’s old friends who worked at the bank, and it ended up with margaritas and endless vodka shots.

Lou was a bit hurt, not ever admitting that to anyone, that Debbie didn’t ask her to come with her, calling Tammy instead. Sure, Tammy was her best friend too, but she wasn’t Lou, and Lou wondered why not just ask her when Tammy had to leave four snotty kids at home and Lou was always just… there. She welcomed their drunk mess with tea and dry towels, and now she was watching the silly shatter from the kitchen as Debbie snatched the heel from Tammy’s hand with a giggle.

“Leave it to me, honey, I can do it.” Lou knew it was all part of the banter, but hearing someone else call Debbie those stupid pet names was one of the worst things she’d ever witnessed. It only made her wanna throw up, thinking she’d been somehow replaced by Tammy as the best friend, and maybe as something else too. And it hurt her even more that Tammy was her friend, and that now she was starting to act and think like an immature teenager. Put it together, Miller.

.

Lou was in love. She couldn’t deny it. As much as she really, really, truly wanted to. She and Debbie had decided on staying “just friends” until they could really work things out between them and also get the heist successfully done. But every time Lou let time pass carelessly she’d find herself attached to the brunette, physically, almost too many times.

It would either happen after Debbie had a rough day assembling new members for the team or after Lou didn’t have a good day at the club. They would always find comfort in each other after midnight when Lou was about to go to bed but Debbie always stopped her before the australian could even step into her bedroom.

It was 1am, Debbie was sure because she’d had dinner with Lou three hours ago when she came back from the club, and afterwards she texted Tammy good night, assuring her that she was okay and thanking her for the help with the banker guy the other day, “also, fuck you, I ruined one good pair of heels because you thought you were Usain Bolt in the rain.”

She heard Lou turn off the kitchen lights and knew the australian was headed to bed, and she suddenly lost interest in the cooking book she was reading. It was Lou’s and she wasn’t even so sure Lou herself actually ever read that thing ever, but it was something to kill her time.

“Lou? Can I sleep with you?” the whisper filled the silent living room. All the lights were out except for the yellow ray from the creepy skull lamp Lou had gotten as a gift from her brother Rusty, she put it on her coffee table at first not really knowing what to do with it and she would always find Debbie sitting by the corner of her couch, using the light to read in the dark. She liked to sit there because she could always see when Lou walked around the place.

Debbie’s eyes followed her like a flashlight and even after almost fifteen years of knowing that woman the effect the australian had on her was still the same. Lou didn’t change at all. Being in prison for five years, she missed seeing that on the daily, and to her surprise, the first night she spent with Lou felt like home again. She never got used to being without Lou. And Lou didn’t either.

It would all fade to black again when Debbie decided to distance herself from those feelings, from Lou. She couldn’t escape the fear of fucking things up with the most important person in her life, so she would pretend to look away when Lou looked at her with that look, wouldn’t go out with her even just to run some stupid errands when Lou asked her to, every moment did something to her and she couldn’t bear it anymore. She couldn’t bare being Lou’s sidekick, even if she knew she wasn’t just that to her.

“Can I?” she whispered again.

“You- uh-“ Lou looked her up and down, her body covered by the robe she hadn’t known the brunette borrowed from her. She smirked, thinking about how she too would often just grab some of Debbie’s clothes and not even give them back later.

“I know we’ve talked about it. It’s not that. I mean- I just can’t sleep. I’m probably reading this stupid book for the 20th time only because I can never fucking sleep. It’s hard, without…” Debbie’s eyes would start to get watery if she hadn’t known any better, feeling so vulnerable in front of her partner. But she felt grateful for Lou’s silly smile growing wider, and the pang of pity as well. Usually that would piss her off, make her feel like she was nothing, like people were always just trying to be nice to her out of politeness and not because they cared for her, but this was Lou. And she knew the truth whenever it came to Lou.

“Yes, c’mon. Leave the bloody book there.” Lou walked to where the brunette was sitting on the couch and helped her stand up, grabbing the book with her right hand and Debbie’s waist with the other. Debbie looked at her with guilt in her eyes.

“Lou, I…”

“Yeah?” she watched the blonde rub her eyes in a sleepy way before yawning and sticking out a hand to her in the most loving, Lou way possible.

“Nothing. Thank you.” she closed her brown cardigan tighter around her shivering body, taking Lou’s hand and walking upstairs to Lou’s room.

Lou let Debbie make herself at home as the brunette tucked herself in and waited for her on her side of the bed. Lou usually slept in the middle of the bed, but she didn’t mind this, at all. The room was a bit dark and had one big window that shone the night lights from the shore outside. Lou loved hearing the waves break inside her head and how the shadows coming from outside the window made living shadows on her walls, it always helped her fall asleep faster, but tonight she didn’t mind that either. This was one of those nights where Debbie was all she would think of. Touching her and having her scent all over her and the room, felt like she could stay like that forever, falling asleep in the brunette’s arms as she scared Debbie’s nightmares away.

She cuddled closer to her, feeling the Ocean sniff her neck as they held each other tight, and Lou covered both their bodies with the heavy white blankets.

“I think we forgot to turn off the lamp, Lou.” Debbie whispered as she felt the blonde run her fingers across her arms.

“What?” Lou glanced at her, confused, making Debbie flush at how cute her stupid little frown was.

“In the living room.”

“Oh. That’s okay, Debs. Just sleep, alright?” she kissed the crown of Debbie’s head and held her like that, letting Debbie get closer and closer. “And you never know, maybe Tam will wanna barge in in the middle of the night to try and fix your heel for you. She might need the light to see.”

“Lou.” Debbie warned, holding back a chuckle.

“Sorry. It’s true.” Lou laughed, turning her back to Debbie.

“Lou?” Debbie called again, almost too scared to speak up.

“Yeah, Debs?” she answered like a mother angry at her child, making them both laugh.

“I miss this.” Lou’s heart stopped, and she looked at those dark eyes facing her in the dark. She could barely see Debbie, but she knew every inch of that face and that woman even more than herself.

“You miss sleeping with me, Ocean? Well that’s fucking impossible because you’re always in my bed.” they shared a laugh and Debbie rolled her eyes.

“You know what I mean, Lou.”

“I do.” Lou could feel her heart break inside her chest like never before. They both knew what they felt for each other, and how they’d left things between them before Debbie went to jail, and they hadn’t walked so far from that point after she got out. Five years later. They just knew it was still there, all of it. The painful silence, the electric touches, the desperate exchange of looks in a crowded room. The longing.

But they had agreed on staying like this for a while and that was the plan the had to stick with no matter what. No matter how much they wanted to go home together after a party with the team and just jump at each other with kisses and teeth, no matter how bad they were in love with each other in a way that nothing else could ever live rent free in their minds like each other.

“I miss… sleeping with you.” Lou smirked, covering her face with her arm.

“We really had it all didn’t we?” the australian whispered.

“We still can.” Debbie said, almost like a plead.

Lou shook her head, lying with her back facing the ceiling and her elbows supporting her weight.

“We couldn’t figure it out back then, Debs. What makes you think we could now?” Debbie cupped her face, bringing it impossibly close to hers.

“We were young, Lou. And stupid.”

“Yeah, well-“ the blonde scoffed, thinking about a 19 year old Debbie Ocean kissing her for the first time. “We still are. Stupid, at least.”

“I wanna be stupid together.” her voice came out broken, her hands finding Lou’s above her brown locks. Lou smiled.

“You do?”

“Yeah. I really fucking do. I can’t be just friends. I wanna kiss you all the time and every fucking day and I wanna be able to tell people that I’m yours and you’re min-“

Lou’s lips met hers with a calm pace, both in a way of saying “please shut the fuck up” and “I love you more than you’ll ever know.”

“I wanna be stupid together, too.” Lou whispered, kissing her again, and again, and again, and again, until they were both finally deep asleep.

[lovclyboncs]

Everything I Wanted (Todoroki x Reader) Soulmate Au

inspired by Everything I Wanted by Billie Eilish.

TW! Mentions of contemplated suicide and insecure thought that could be triggering.

soulmate Au! Where your soulmate tattoo appears on your wrist after you touch your soulmate for the first time.

F!reader x Todoroki

F!reader x Bakugou (brotp)

Plot: the reader is Todoroki’s soulmate, but he doesn’t want to let some mystical ink on his wrist dictate who he should love, so he rejects reader as his soulmate. This story is about how reader first reacted to the rejection and how slowly reader lets herself heal, but what the universe wants it will get.

Part two out now!

This is my very first post on here! I hope you guys enjoy!

I had a dream I got everything I wanted Not what you’d think And if I’m bein’ honest It might’ve been a nightmare To anyone who might care

Every night you’d wake up drenched in sweat, panting as you tried to calm your breathing, tears staining your rosy cheeks. Every night you had the same nightmare, you wished it was just your mind overthinking, but sadly it wasn’t. Even in your dreams you’d replay that memory in your head over and over again.

“ I’m sorry (y/l/n), but even if your name is tattooed on my wrist and even if fate says we are meant to be together, I can’t return your feelings. My heart belongs to another. I’m truly sorry if I’m not what you expected as a soulmate.” He told you with nothing but sincerity in his voice. The sad and hurtful truth. 

“I-It’s okay. I understand Todoroki-san. Don’t worry about me I’ll be fine” You said holding in the need to cry, and the need to let the crawling feeling in your throat free, to scream and yell how once again this world was nothing but cruel. 

He gave a slight nod of his head before walking away from you. His other half as written by the universe and written on your left wrist.

You looked down at the floor clenching your fists and look up once again to see him standing with the rest of the A-1 class who was chatting as they waited for class to resume. A lone tear raced down your face.

“I’ll be fine” You whispered to yourself.

‘I have to be’ you thought.

As a young girl all you ever did was fantasize about your soulmate. You thought it would  be a dream come true for you when you would finally get to meet them. You would get your happily ever after like in those princess tales you’d love to read before going to bed. You thought you’d have the perfect white picket fence life to look forward to. 

As a young foolish girl you thought life would be easy.

you didn’t know your parents were going to sacrifice their lives to save others.

you didn't know that you weren’t quirkless and that your parents had been using ‘vitamins’ to suppress your quirk because of how dangerous it was when your emotions went haywire.

you didn't know that it wouldn’t get better contrary to what your therapist would tell you.

you didn’t know that you weren’t going to make as many friends as you had hoped you would.

and what hurt the most was that you didn’t know your soulmate wasn’t going to be your knight in shining armor like you had hoped. 

Thought I could fly (fly) So I stepped off the Golden, mm Nobody cried (cried, cried, cried, cried) Nobody even noticed I saw them standing right there Kinda thought they might care (might care, might care) 

It had been a month since Todoroki rejected you as his soulmate. You thought you could've gotten over it  but as always it seemed like the universe wanted to punish you for just existing. You didn’t participate in class anymore, You made sure to cover your soulmate tattoo so that no one would accidentally look at it, you didn’t tare your gaze from the floor, you thought that  it wouldn't hurt as much if you didn't have to look at him, but then the rumors started spreading and then the rumors weren't so much of a rumor. 

“ Todoroki and Momo made it official!”

“ I knew they were soulmates, I mean just look at how perfect they look together.”

“ Did you see the picture Momo posted of their soulmate tattoos? I'm so jealous!”

It was all too much for you, so you ran and you ran until you found yourself on the rooftop of U.A. and you let the tears you were holding in fall. 

You let the monster crawling at your throat free, letting yourself scream, letting yourself voice the hurt you had been bottling up.

why weren't you good enough for anyone?

not good enough for your parents to live for, they would rather die for others than to live for you. 

not good enough for your classmates, they barley talked to you or invited you to places like they did with each other. 

not good enough for your soulmate to want you. hell he’d rather cover you up than let people know fate had chosen you for him, were you so disgusting that you weren't even worth mentioning as the soulmate he rejected?

“stop” you whispered to your thoughts.

“ please just stop” your voice sounded hoarse.

“I just wanted everything to stop. To end” you said louder to no one, because no one was there, because no one cared. 

you slowly walked towards the edge of the roof and looked down at the ground.

your eyes were void of anything, they looked empty.

shakily you put one foot out into the nothingness, into the only thing that could stop you from letting the pain overwhelm you. you closed your eyes ready to fly.

‘This world is so cruel and yet so beautiful’ you thought before letting your eyes snap open and gasping.

your eyes regained a light and tears began to swell once again, you let yourself fall backwards away from the edge of the building.

Yes the world was cruel and life wasn't fair, but it was also beautiful. there was still so much you wanted to experience, still so much that would be worthwhile. 

after sitting on the floor for what felt like hours, you heard the distance sound of the bell signaling the end of lunch. you slowly picked yourself of the ground and cleaned your tears with the sleeve of your uniform jacket. 

you made your way back to class 1-A. you were the last one to walk in, and some of your classmates glanced up at you, but they didn’t say anything about your puffy red eyes, they didn’t ask why you weren’t at lunch, they didn’t ask how your day was going so far, they didn’t ask if you were okay. 

because you were not okay.

you once again felt a heaviness in your chest. 

you thought they would care at least a bit, they were heroes in training after all, yet it seemed like they hadn’t even noticed.

they hadn’t even noticed your absence and maybe they didn’t mind it in the slightest. 

I had a dream I got everything I wanted But when I wake up, I see You with me

Maybe you were too wrapped up in your own mind or maybe you finally lost it, but for the life of you, you couldn’t figure out how you ended up like this. Eating spicy noodles quietly with your class’ very own lord explosion murder sitting across from you.

If you were to ask Bakugou why he demanded you have lunch with him, he’d say it was because your dumbass face was the only one he could stand enough to willingly share his homemade noodles with, and if you were to ask him why he was sharing noodles in the first place, he would tell you to shut the hell up and just eat without questioning him.

What Bakugou would never admit is that when he was roaming the school grounds during lunch two weeks ago he saw you standing at the very edge. He stood frozen in place, not sure of what he could do, but before he could will himself to move he saw how you feel backwards and out of his sight. He knew why he froze because he remembered a comment he made to deku before they entered U.A. He obviously didn’t mean it, but seeing you so willingly to just dive of a building made something in him feel guilt for making such an insensitive comment even if it was to deku.

He really didn’t know you well. He knew that he had never actually seen your quirk in action though probably more than half of the class could relate to that since you never really used it. He knew pretty much that he didn’t know you at all and that unsettled him. Sure he wasn’t the most sociable guy or easiest to approach, but he at least knew a couple of things about each of his classmates friends.

So he decided to pay more attention to you, he noticed how you really didn’t talk to any of your classmates and how they wouldn’t try to include you in their conversations. He noticed you always walked with your head down not really looking at where you were going. He noticed the bags under your eyes making themselves more prominent. He noticed how sometimes when you would space out in class you’d be staring at the back of the class where the half and half bastard would sit. He became aware of your being but he still didn’t know how to approach you.

The opportunity came after an awkward encounter.

Everyone (or so you thought) had gone out to who knows where and like always you hadn’t been invited. You decided to train for a little while. You had been slowly progressing with being able to control your quirk, but after your conversation with Todoroki you were back at square one. Your emotions were a train wreck making it hard to control your quirk. Becoming frustrated with yourself you decided to call it a day but since you were sweaty you went to take a shower first. You forgot to take your clothes with you, and since you were by yourself in the dorms you didn’t think it would be that big of a deal if you ran to your room. Midway there you bumped into a wall that wasn’t there this morning. You looked up and there was Bakugou looking down at you.

‘Oh shit I’m going to die’ you thought but then you saw Bakugou frown as he looked directly at your uncovered wrist.

‘Shouto Todoroki’ Bakugou narrowed his eyes. He finally understood why you had been acting more closed off than usual, and maybe if you had looked a little harder you wouldve seen the understanding in them.

“Sor-” you began to say but he cut you off

“get dressed and meet me in the kitchen” he said before walking away.

After that day things changed for you. Who knew eating noodles in silence with an angry blonde could set you on your path to healing?

Every time you saw them holding hands you didn't have enough time to let yourself question what you could have done for that to be you.

“hey dumbass hurry up or I’ll kill you” the red eye blonde would yell at you once he noticed you lagging behind. Making you forget about the black ink on your wrist and making you worry about how bakugou was going to react to you getting a C- on the test he spent a whole afternoon helping you study for.

And you say, “As long as I’m here, no one can hurt you Don’t wanna lie here, but you can learn to If I could change the way that you see yourself You wouldn’t wonder why you’re here, they don’t deserve you”

It was close to the end of the school year and if you were to say that much hadn’t changed you’d be lying. 

thanks to practing your quirk with bakugou and him suggesting meditation to help you stay calm you were finally able to control your quirk enough to use it without fear around others.

Through him you also became friends with the rest of the bakusquad and they helped you warm up to the others.

all the second guessing and the comparing yourself to others didn’t cross your mind often anymore. 

unbeknownst to you every time you peeled off the layers of insecuirty that held you back from expressing yourself bakugou would smile glad that you,just like him, could get passed the pain left by an unrequited soulmate bond.

also unbeknownst to you, as you began getting along with the rest of the class and opening up, he couldn’t help but be captivated by some of your quirks. How you would help the likes of denki study even when you weren’t better off yourself, how you were the only one who entertained Midoriya’s rambling and even added comentary.

He began to get to know you and he could see how the universe could’ve blessed him with a soulmate such as yourself. you were the complete opposite of what he was used to, the todoroki home wasn’t exactly the most affectionate.

He was seeing you bloom right before his eyes and all he could feel was guilt as he diverted his eyes to look at his left wrist.

‘Momo Yaoyorozu’

He softly caressed his thumb over the name and even with his soft touch the fake dark ink smuged.

He thought he had what he wanted.

He thought the universe had been wrong. 

He thought it was for the best.

but as he saw you bickering with bakugou he found himself wondering what he could’ve done for that to be him, for you to be open with him like that.

he knew he was wrong but he was too far in to fix it.

If I knew it all then would I do it again? Would I do it again?

lastly Todoroki knew that even if you found it in yourself to forgive him, he still wouldn’t deserve you. 

Thank you so much for reading this far if you did! I don’t know why I couldn’t get this out of my head and so here it is. Also I threw in an AOT reference to cope with the pain.

[crumbledcastle28]

Chapter 13: An Understatement

Warnings: blaster fire and descriptions of battle, mentions of injuries, Mando gets pretty hurt and the reader is a wreck (as usual)

Author’s Note: Enjoy Chapter 13!

Mando’s POV

All Mando could think about was you.

Did you protect the child? There’s no way you leaked their info to the Empire and betrayed them, right? Were you dead?

Somehow, the third option scared him the most.

As if this could not get any worse, Moff Gideon opened his mouth yet again.

“I have just received word that you seem to have a very valuable asset on your side,” he said, and Mando knew exactly what he was getting at.

He was referring to you.

Mando’s mind raced a million miles a minute. The Empire were after you, and they had to know you had the child with them. You could hold your own, he knew that, but against an entire regime of soldiers?

Mando knew you would rather die than get the child caught, he would do the same thing, but he wanted you alive. That’s all he wanted.

“It’s ironic, really,” Moff continued. “You put your trust in the Empire to get away from the Empire.”

Moff Gideon could insult Mando all he wanted. He could insult his religion, his creed, his past, but something about him referring to you as “the Empire” when you had worked so hard to get away from it rubbed him in all the wrong ways.

You had helped Mando start to put his violent ways aside, but you weren’t here now, and Mando wanted to kill the Moff where he stood.

“It’s time you face the fact that she will return to where she belongs. My side. I hope her betrayal does not hurt your feelings too bad,” Moff said, and Cara scoffed.

Mando’s last button had been pushed.

“She didn’t betray us, Cara,” he said sternly, and Cara rolled her eyes.

“Oh, so you’re on her side? The Empire’s side?,” she responded, and Mando tried to keep his cool.

It wasn’t really working.

“We are on the same side,” Mando snapped back. “It’s time you realized that.”

You would not betray him. If you were any other person in the galaxy, Mando would start to give up now. But you showed him, in the very brief time you were together, that even people with the worst pasts can still have good hearts.

You made him feel like an idiot. Like a joke. He hadn’t genuinely cared for a person since his parents, but then the kid came along, and then you came along. It’s like the galaxy was showing him perfect prizes, but the game was impossible to win.

But the very worst part of it all, was that Mando was willing to try.

What had you done to him?

Your POV

To say this day did not go as planned was an understatement.

One second you are running for your life, the next you are being scooped up by a metal hand. It happened so fast you barely even had time to register you were lifted off the ground and placed onto a speeder bike.

Once you finally did register what had happened, you immediately thought it was the Empire’s doing, so you turned around and aimed your longspear at the driver.

“Please don’t,” the droid responded. “Me being dead would make this much worse for you.”

The nurse droid, you thought to yourself. From Kuiil’s house!

You were in such a haze of mourning and sadness those couple of days, you barely remembered meeting the droid. You even forgot it rode on the ship to this planet!

You relaxed a bit and lowered your longspear, smiling internally at the thought that a piece of Kuiil was still alive, but you didn’t put your guard down.

You hadn’t put your guard down in days, so it’s not like your overall body language changed that much.

You made sure the child was ok, and once your head finally cleared, you realized Mando was trying to reach you again.

“Kuiil, Y/N, somebody come in.”

The droid picked up the comm device before you could get it, and responded in a very monotoned voice.

“Kuiil has been terminated.”

That ought to make Mando feel better, won’t it, you thought to yourself.

You were going to take the comm device out of the droid’s hand, but you froze when you heard Mando’s tone of voice speaking through the comms again.

“What did you do?” he asked, and you swore you could hear the venom dripping from his mouth.

It always surprised you how scary Mando could really be when he tried.

“I am fulfilling my basic function,” the droid responded.

“Which is?” Mando asked.

“To nourish and protect.”

With that statement, the droid sped up the bike, and you held the child in your lap. He looked up at you with confused eyes, and you could tell he was asking why you weren’t going home.

“We are going to save him little guy,” you said with a stroke to his ear. “We will be home before you know it.”

You smiled lightly to yourself, and before you knew it, the speeder bike was roaring through the town and taking out every trooper in sight.

Blaster fire surrounded you and you tried to focus on what was ahead.

Mando was trapped…. But where?

Finally, you squinted your eyes and saw a regiment of soldiers ahead, and you knew Mando and the rest of the team were trapped inside the building.

“There!” you yelled, pointing to Mando’s cage, and the droid turned you and the child around for protection while he continued to fire.

It was slightly disorienting at first, because you honestly didn’t expect that to happen, but you felt better about the child’s safety.

This droid is no dummy, you thought to yourself. Kuiil did a good job.

Your heart pulled slightly at the thought of Kuiil, still laying out in the desert, but he would get his proper burial.

You just had to make sure Mando didn’t get one of those first.

The droid finally slowed down, and you took the opportunity to jump off the speeder bike and dive behind a pillar.

You got the child situated in your arms well enough so he could be protected, and started making your way out of your hiding spot.

You knew you couldn’t fight with the child in your arms, that’s just stupid, but you did reflect blaster shots from the troopers and took as many out as you could.

You had to start making your way to Mando somehow, but out of the corner of your eye, it seemed Mando was coming to you.

Mando charged out into the open with Karga on his tail, and he fired at will. He kicked and punched the troopers who were close enough to him, and you couldn’t help the smile that graced over your face at the sight of him.

You couldn’t see it, but Mando was smiling too.

You stuck close to the buildings surrounding you, slowly making your way around to where Karga was, but the chaos was insane. You could barely see where the shots were coming from, let alone where you were sending them.

You looked around to find some other way, but what you did see was way better.

Mando was running to a huge cannon, and you watched him rip it off the tripod and start firing it at the stormtroopers.

Your hopes were on the rise.

You saw a dark black death trooper place a detonator on the wall of Mando’s former cage, and you panicked when you realized Cara was still in there.

You started to make your way over there when the explosion hit, but you were far enough away so that you didn’t feel any wave from it.

You continued to make your way over to her.

Your senses were going so crazy, that you didn’t even feel Moff Gideon enter the scene.

What you did feel, however, was the pain Mando felt when the Moff fired a shot directly into his helmet.

It hurt like hell, and you heard Mando cry out in pain.

You turned back to where Mando was, and you saw him take aim at Moff with his canon.

This is it, you thought. Moff Gideon is dead.

You wish you hadn’t been trained in the force so well, because the very next thing you felt was the pride in Moff’s chest when he realized how to take Mando out.

Your eyes widened and panic struck you like lighting.

Moff is gonna kill him.

“Mando,” you screamed, but it was too late.

Moff Gideon had already fired at the generator next to Mando, and you had no choice but to dive for cover. You shielded the child with your body, and you were lucky enough to not feel the effects of the explosion.

But Mando felt it all.

When the dust cleared, you saw Cara dragging, his body back inside while Karga and IG-11 followed her in.

You didn’t care about anything in that moment. And if you would have known merely weeks ago that you would run across a battle field with no armour and a child in your arms, you would have smacked yourself silly.

But you did it anyways.

You made it to the door right before it closed, and you stopped in your tracks when you almost ran right into Cara’s gun.

It was pointed right at you.

“Get out,” she said, and you raised the hand not holding the child in surrender.

“Cara please,” you plead. You could see Mando laying on the floor behind her, and your heart was breaking.

He was badly injured. You could feel it.

“You can kick me out as soon as you’d like. I promise. Just let me see him,” you ask.

The tears were starting to cloud your vision and you tried not to let your voice crack. You didn’t want Cara to think you were trying to manipulate her.

But your Mandalorian was dying behind her.

“I promise,” you say, and she finally lowers your blaster.

“Thank you,” you respond, letting a breath out of your mouth as you do it, and you run to kneel beside Mando.

Of all the pain you’ve experienced in your life, you had learned a lot about it. You had learned that you personally deal better with pain when you have something to squeeze in your hand, like a pillow or the arm of a chair. You’ve learned that there are people in the world who enjoy making others feel pain, and no matter how many times you try, you just can’t understand why. You’ve learned that bacta shots work wonders for physical pain, but mental pain is almost impossible to numb.

But worse of all, you’ve learned that watching people you care for in pain is the worst pain in the world.

And this one hurt.

Tag list:

@leahkenobi @pinkninja200 @farfromjustordinary @440mxs-wife @bookloverfilmoholic

[maddiwrites]

Scared to Love

Pairing: JJ x Reader

Summary: You go from being best friends, to friends with benefits, to strangers with JJ Maybank. You tried your best not to fall in love with your best friend, but how could anyone not love the infamous Pogue?

Note: Sorry, I really suck a summaries. But I wanted to post something outside of my OBX rewrite so I hope you like it(:

Word Count 3.3k

Warnings: Mentions of abuse and divorce.

The beach is loud with teenagers holding red solo cups and cheering on their friends as they compete to out drink one another. The sky is dark and glittered with bright stars, but the night is still young, filled with both promises and threats. It’s another typical Friday night, surrounded by friends and strangers alike. You usually thrive at these kind of parties - the queen of beer pong, the hot girl dancing in the middle of the crowd like no one’s watching. You attract attention from all Outer Banks social groups - Pogues, Kooks, and Tourons. But now...

Now you wish you could hide from all of it.

If it were up to you, you would be at home, locked away in your room, watching Nicholas Sparks movies until you were no longer capable of crying. But lucky for you, you have best friends who don’t allow you to wallow in self pity. Sure, they let you cry on their shoulder, they rub your back, and tell you everything’s going to be okay. They compliment you. They tell you that you’re gonna go far in life and that you don’t need any man to make you feel like you deserve the world. But they also make sure that you don’t stay in your dark place. They would drag you out of there by your teeth and skin if they needed to. At the time, you can be pissed about it, but you learn to love them for it.

“I don’t think I’ve seen you smile once tonight.” John B walks up to you and offers a teasing smile. He moves to stand next to you, shoulder to shoulder, as you look out into the depth of the party from the edge. 

“I’m trying to find a reason to,” You answer honestly. Your eyes stay trained on the blonde Pogue with a cute redhead wrapped in his arms. They’re swaying to the beat of the music that plays loudly through someone’s portable speaker. They both look happy, and the sight of it makes you physically nauseous. 

John B follows your stare and sighs when he sees what’s got you so down. “Look, I don’t know what happened between you two -”

“It doesn’t matter.” You sip on your now lukewarm beer and tear your eyes away from the happy couple, or whatever they want to call themselves. 

“It does,” John B says, making you look at him. “Because I can’t be in the same room as my two best friends anymore. I mean, seriously, what happened? Did you guys have a fight or something?”

You gnaw at your bottom lip and flick your gaze down at the sand. What you and JJ had was different than what you have with the rest of your best friends. The two of you have always been the closest. Your friend group first started as just you, JJ, and John B. John B always felt like the brother you never had. You loved and fought like siblings usually do. He told you the cold hard truth even when you didn’t want to hear it. You loved him, but not like you loved JJ. You were always aware of the way your heart swelled when JJ laughed, or how your skin tingled when he touched you, or how your chest tightened when he would come back to the Chateau and brag to everyone about his most recent hookup from the night before. The blonde held a special place in your heart that no body else could replace. Not even now.

It all started when you and JJ were left alone at the Chateau for an entire night. John B was somewhere else - probably with Sarah Cameron, who knows. JJ had come from another run-in with his dad and asked that you stay with him because he didn’t want to be alone. The two of you ended up getting high off of JJ’s good stuff. You think it was the most you ever smoked in your life. The two of you ordered pizza, and laughed at dumb youtube videos. For a few hours, you forgot that JJ had an abusive father or that you were caught between a custody battle with your own parents. 

You don’t remember how or when it happened, but the air grew thick with tension and neither of you were laughing anymore. You remember looking into his blue eyes, the color of the ocean, which you always said fit the surfer perfectly. Next thing you know, his lips are on yours - softly at first, then into a rhythm that most resembled an insatiable hunger. He took you into the room he claimed as his, and then....and then he claimed you.

You woke up first that morning. Your stomach swirled with some kind of emotion you couldn’t exactly pin when you looked over at JJ’s bare back as he slept on his stomach. Maybe it was excitement, joy, bliss. Or maybe it was dread, guilt, fear. It wasn't a secret that you and relationships...well, they never ended well. You never stayed long enough to catch serious feelings for the other person. Kie seems to think it’s due to the disastrous relationship your own parents had, and you couldn’t help but wonder if she was right. Your parents spent the second half of your life tearing each other down, competing over who was able to hurt the other one more. You spent a lot of nights hiding under your covers as if that would protect you from your mothers screams or glasses breaking from your father’s rage. You saw what loving someone could do to people. Loving someone can make you hate someone.

And you didn’t want that to happen with JJ. You knew you were already in too deep. You became a bubbly school girl whenever he came around since you were ten. But you refused to let you and JJ become like your mom and dad. If you wanted to keep JJ around, you we’re going to have to keep him at a distance. 

You knew you should have stopped it after the first time, but JJ was like a magnet you couldn’t detach yourself from. You both made a silent agreement that this would be a no strings attached situation. So off the books that even your closest friends didn’t know about it. At first it was fun and harmless - each of you got what you were craving the most, whether it be the comfort of the other person’s company or the high only that person could give the other. But inevitably, lines started to blur. You found yourself staring at your phone on days you didn’t spend together, wearing his hoodies just to feel closer to him because it hugged you in his scent, staying latched to his side at boneyard and Kook parties. You didn’t know if he felt the same way, and you didn’t let yourself find out. You put space between yourself and the infamous Pogue, only showing up in the middle of the night once a week instead of three to four. You tried talking to Tourons at parties - never going home with them but always having them as a back up option. You chose the seat furthest away from him during lunch at The Wreck, and made up excuses as to why you couldn’t go surfing with him in the early mornings. Slowly, you tried to go back to the way things were, but the further you separated from JJ, the greater the crack in your heart became.

Surprisingly, it was JJ who cut things off completely on a night you wanted to use to take your mind off the latest fight between your parents. Even with your father moved out of your family home, the screaming matches never stopped, and now they were trying to use you to pick sides. In the end, JJ did take your mind off your own family, but never in the way you expected him to.

“I don’t think we should do this anymore,” he told you as he slowly lifted your arms away from his shoulders. 

“What? Why?” You looked at him with a tilted head and narrowed eyes. Your breathing became static and shallow, like you were on the verge of a panic attack. 

“Because this was a bad idea, and it’s not healthy - me using you to forget about my dad, you using me to forget about your parents -”

“Using you?” You scoff and shake your head in disbelief. “You think that’s all this is?” “Why did you come over here? Why today? Why right now?”

You clenched your teeth together and looked away from the boy who was now staring at you with a look that resembled pity. You wanted to tell him that sex wasn’t the only reason you find solace in his company. He made you feel safe and happy. He made you forget about the world’s problems with his jokes and stories. He made you laugh harder than anyone else could dream ever could. JJ is the first person you think of when you wake up and the person you dream about at night. But you couldn’t tell him this. Because that would mean admitting your stronger feelings for him. That would mean possibly destroying the relationship you already have with him,

Little did you know, not answering him would do the same thing.

“Fine,” You swallow back your tears and turn away to leave. You couldn’t stay here, standing in front of him for another second. Your felt embarrassed and ashamed. Like you had made a mistake that you can’t take back.

“Y/N -” JJ tried calling out to you, but you ignored him and slammed the door behind you.

You down the last of your beer and shake the empty cup. Ignoring John B’s question you walk past him. “I need another drink.”

John B shakes his head with frustration. Rolling his eyes he says, “He asks about you all the time. Talks about you non stop but won’t tell me why he won’t just call you up himself. And I don’t know what to tell him because by shutting him out, you’re shutting me out too.”

You swallow the lump in your throat and look down at the sand covering the toes of your sneakers. You hate that what John B said is true, and you hate even more that you don’t know how to fix it without seeing JJ Maybank. And you’re just not ready for that.

You didn’t see JJ turn his head at the sound of his best friend’s rising voice. No one in the crowd seemed to recognize the tension only a couple feet away, but he did. He watched from afar, noticing the space between you two and how stiff your bodies are. His heart tore into two, knowing he was the reason for their dispute. But he didn’t know what to do or how to fix it. 

He thinks about you everyday, contemplates calling you up, or going to your house and apologizing personally. He misses you. He never meant to hurt you. But...he had to think of himself. And staying with you was killing him slowly. Because he knew you wouldn’t give him what he always dreamed of. A lifetime with you as his partner in crime. The love of his life. The mother to his children some day.

But everyday without you felt like another year had been tacked onto his life. Sometimes he thinks he’d rather just live through the heartbreak than never having you at all. 

“You know what?” You say, “This was a bad idea. I’m just going to go.” 

John B doesn’t stop you. He just watches you walk away. He bites his tongue because he knows whatever he wants to say in anger will only mask how he really feels - which is pity and sadness. Because he know something is is going on with you and he can’t help you - not until you let him.

“Leaving so soon?” A certain voice makes you stop in your tracks on the edge of the beach where people have parked their cars. 

You squeeze your fists together to stop your hand from shaking and take three deep breaths to calm your racing heart. You slowly turn to look at him and suck your bottom lip in between your teeth. He looks the same. Shaggy blonde hair, beautiful tan skin, sparkling blue eyes. Although, he looks sheepish with his hands tucked into his cargo short pockets and his eyes narrowed in your direction. He looks sad. But that doesn’t make sense because he broke it off with you.

“I guess I’m just not in the party mood tonight,” You respond. JJ takes note of how empty your voice sounds.

“Y/N Y/L/N not in the party mood?” JJ tries to joke. “That’s unheard of.”

“What are you doing, JJ?” You ask impatiently. The longer you look at the boy you...well...the boy you don’t want to love, the harder it is to breathe. “Don’t you have a girl to entertain? She’s pretty, clearly into you-”

“Why are you doing this?”

“Doing what?” You play dumb.

JJ sighs. “Look, I understand if you’re mad at me or something -”

“I’m not mad,” You deny with a shrug. “We fucked around for a little bit and then you moved on-”

“Don’t do that. Don’t act like what he had meant nothing -“

“Well did it? Mean anything?” You narrow your eyes and take another step closer to him. “Because from what you said, I was only using you! And you were only using me. That’s what you said!”

“I didn’t mean it like that. I -”

“What did you mean then?” You challenge him. You feel your eyes heat up with fresh tears and no matter how many times you try to blink them away, they threaten to fall. You feel a red blush rush up your neck as you look deep into his eyes, remembering the shame you felt that night. You never meant to make him feel like that’s all he was to you - a distraction or a quick fuck. He was still your best friend. And you ruined that, and there’s no one else to blame but yourself. Yet here you are, yelling at him because it was easier that way. 

“I never meant for any of this to happen. I just - I just wanted my best friend back!”

You take a step back and look at him like the blonde just grew two heads. “I never left. I was there the entire time. You’re the one that ended things.”

“Because I loved you!” JJ yells at you, rendering you absolutely speechless. His words ring over your head like a chime, dancing beautifully through your ear drums. Despite his outburst of admittance of affection, he glares at you because how could you be so stupid not to see it? 

“What?” Your voice is barely above a whisper and your own scowl is gone. 

JJ runs his hands through his disheveled hair and curses to himself. “Fuck, Y/N, I loved you. I still love you. But I know how you feel about relationships and love and -” JJ sighs. “I didn’t want to lose you, but my god, it was killing me that I was giving my all and you would never -”

You feel your feet moving forward despite your brain and thoughts freezing completely. 

You didn’t know how to feel.  You just knew you needed to be near him. You wanted to feel his heart beat against his chest and his breath on your skin. You wanted to look him dead in the eyes and read his brain like an open book. You just wanted to be near him and somehow show him that you felt the same way.

Your hands cup his jaw to make him look at you. He looks pained - like a boy who had just been punched in the gut by his worst enemy, and it killed you to know you were the cause of it. You didn’t mean to. Little did he know you felt the same way. It was the reason you distanced yourself from him in the first place. You loved him. Fuck, you loved him so much. But you were scared. You didn’t want to end up like your parents. You’d rather die than learn to resent the blonde Pogue in front of you. But by trying to save your relationship, you ended up hurting yourself and JJ. 

He keeps his eyes closed and tries to move his face out of your hands, but you stay strong and move even closer to him so that you’re chest to chest.

“I would.” Your voice is a whisper and your breath sends a rush of goosebumps down his neck. “Hey..” You whisper again and JJ opens his eyes to look at you. “I would. Because I love you too.”

JJ’s brows furrow. “What?”

“I was scared. I am scared.” You correct yourself. “I tried to turn it all off by distancing myself from you. I thought that maybe if I stopped -” You pause as a silent tear runs down your cheek. “I tried not to love you. God, I tried so hard. But I do, JJ. I love you so freaking much. But I’m terrified that -”

“Hey, hey.” As your hands fall, JJ’s go to your face to wipe away your tears with his thumbs. “We’re not like them.” He reads your mind perfectly. He knows about your parents’ divorce and the mental damage it’s caused you. “We’ll never be like them. You hear me?”

“How do you know that?” Your voice cracks.

“Because if I’ve got you, what do I have to be miserable about?” JJ grins as you giggle. You turn your head to place a kiss against the palm of his hand, ripping open a set of flutters through JJ’s abdomen. 

“I don’t want to hurt you.”

“You won’t. And I won’t hurt you either. I promise.”

You sniffle and bite your bottom lip as a smile spreads across you face. “So, are we really doing this?”

JJ nods as he leans in closer to you and pulls your chin up. “Yeah. We’re doing this.” He leans down and kisses you gently at first, letting the fireworks spark throughout your entire body, then moves his lips more passionately against yours. 

Neither of you knew, but from afar, your best friends were watching behind a couple of trees with open mouths and wide eyes. 

“Oh my god!” Sarah jumps up and down like a school girl. She always knew you and JJ had something stronger than the rest of the Pogues but never said anything. 

“I knew it,” Kie shakes her head with a smirk. 

“It’s about fucking time,” John B wraps his arms around his own girlfriend and kisses the top of her head. “I was going to kill them.”

“What?” Pope looks between his two best friends with furrowed brows. “You knew about this all along?”

John B scoffs, “How could you not?”

“Even I had a feeling something was going on,” Sarah giggles. 

“Why do they have to be so fucking stubborn?” Kie says.

“Should we...I don’t know...congratulate them or something?” Pope asks awkwardly. 

Kie pats Pope’s shoulder as she walks past him to go back to the party. “Absolutely not.”

“Yeah, I’m not going near them until morning,” John B says and grabs Sarah’s hand to lead her back to the keg to get another drink. “In fact, we should just steer clear of the Chateau for the entire night.”

You still had a lot to learn, but not letting your parents’ divorce dictate your life was the best lesson you learned. They can take whatever they want from you, but they weren’t going to take away your relationship with JJ. Because he’s the best thing that could have ever happened to you.

[jujutsu-headcanons]

Gojo Satoru general headcanons

Let's get one thing clear: this man is absolutely chaotic. He is always full of energy. His energy levels never reach below 50%. He is loud and proud, always running, and never takes a minute to relax.

Do not give him Monster. Shoko did that once and it took her forever to get him off the ceiling. Also, avoid caffeine. Shoko replaces his normal coffee with decaf and he still hasn't noticed the difference. Keep it that way.

He was the class clown when he was younger. He wasn't exactly a trouble maker, but he may as well be. I cannot word that sentence and I am sorry. Next.

All of his teachers assumed he never listened in class, so they always called in him when they thought he wasn't paying attention. It still shocked them every time he rattled off the correct answer.

Not only did he answer the question correctly, but he could also explain his reasoning behind the answer, and if it was multiple choice, explain why the other answers were wrong. 

This tall man child would march up to the board and absolutely fill it to the brim with work, turn around, drop the chalk-like a mic drop and walk back to his desk with the smuggest look on his face.

That doesn't mean he did the work tho

Idk how schools in japan work but we all know schools in America only care about the amount of work you do and not what you actually know so we'll use that for the sake of the headcanon: he had straight D's bc he never turned in his work

Despite not doing the work snd goofing off, teachers actually really liked him

A lot of people liked him and he was super popular, but he still felt alone

Fake friends, you know how that works, he didn't meet any real friends until he became a shaman

Clean freak. This dude actually makes his bed. He scrubs his bathroom twice a week. His desk can get cluttered but he straightens up once a week. He's not exactly a germaphobe because

He cannot respect your personal space and that's actually canon but let me take it a step further 

He's a slapper. Especially when he laughs. It doesn't hurt, it's playful dw. He hugs you from behind especially when he's cold. He picks you up and carries you around. He will grab your wrist, arm, or hand and lead you around even if you're following him. He lays his legs across you or lays across your lap. Puts his head on your shoulder. Platonic cuddling between friends is mandatory. He's just so hands-on it's ridiculous.

Unless you explicitly tell him you're uncomfortable he won't stop

Don't worry, if you aren't in that type of relationship, your no-no square is safe. Except, if you seem chill, he will slap your ass regardless of friendship status. His ass is also slappable. You can't tell me Geto and Gojo didn't run around slapping each other asses, okay

He was weird and scrawny as a child. He didn't start beefing out until he started training to be a shaman and he's still kinda smaller than most beefy boys

He can pick you up and throw you around easily. He carried around a 170 pound Yuji like a sack of potatoes and can easily carry around three times that weight

It's amazing he's so tiny because you remember 2014 Shane Dawson making all of those wack ass desserts that was just s pile of chaos wrapped in chocolate?

He can eat every last bite of one of those monstrosities without getting a stomach ache, gaining weight, or dying basically

He knows bc Yuji dared him to do it

He has really cold hands and feet

He sounds old. Let me elaborate. He's constantly cracking his joints. They also creak when he moves. He complains about body pains like he's 80 y/o

He also shares wisdom with the kids as if he's actually 80 y/o

It's irrelevant advice that doesn't make sense but is also useful. Megumi can't count the number of times he's asked Gojo for feedback on his technique but had been told to remember to chew 40 times or never go to bed angry

Starts off sentences with "now son" and "when I was your age"

He uses his blindfold as a headband when he wants his hair out of his face. He also uses headbands as... Headbands... When he wants to wear sunglasses but get his hair out of his face

He owns so many pairs of sunglasses but he always wears the same pair

He's only bought a handful of them himself, most of them are gifts

No one knows what to get him for Christmas or his birthday bc he has everything, so they resort to sunglasses

His favorite pair is a pair that Shoko and Geto bought him as a gag. He thought they were dead serious, though, so he wore them around for a month

They were heart-shaped, rose-tinted glasses

Can you believe this man doesn't use any gel or anything to keep his hair spiky with the blindfold on? It just naturally defies gravity when the blindfold is on

Tell this man he's pretty because he already knows. He's narcissistic but not the cringy kind

Photogenic as hell. Takes great pictures from any angle. 

He gives everyone a different story as to why he covers his eyes. Sometimes he says it's because his eyes are too pretty and are a distraction. Sometimes he says it's because the sunglasses/bandages/blindfold look cooler than his eyes. Sometimes he says it's to protect the six eyes from seeing things he doesn't want to see. The world may never know

He's tried covering his whole face before, but he thinks he's too pretty for that. He at least wants one of his many amazing features to be shown at all times.

So about his driver's license;

He knows how to drive. He can be a good driver. When he wants to be. He just doesn't have a driver's license.

Now he TELLS people he just never got around to getting one, however, there's a rumor he lost it due to too many parking tickets

It's amazing the only tickets he's ever gotten have been from that and once he got caught without a seatbelt; he would have gotten out of that one if he hadn't been flirting with the police officer so bad

This doesn't stop Gojo from driving places though

He steals Ijichi's car a LOT and Ijichi DOESN'T KNOW HOW like??? The windows are never broken and it doesn't look hotwired-

Gojo has a key

You're not even supposed to be able to duplicate car keys but Gojo did 

Also; none of the first-year trio knows he doesn't have a driver's license, though that much should be painfully obvious

He whips around corners, speeds up at yellow lights, goes "watch this" and does a donut, it's just a mess

The poor students have to sit in the backseat too. Just imagine Megumi with all three seatbelts around him like that one meme.

He thrives off of Nobara and Yuji screaming from the backseat, and he can see Megumi being smooshed because he thought the middle seat was the safest through the rearview mirror

Which he doesn't even need because of the six eyes

Despite being such a reckless driver, he knows when danger will happen, so he's never once gotten in a wreck

He blasts the radio, which makes up for the driving.

Has a habit of getting in a car and ending up in the McDonalds drive-thru

Steals other people's fries and keeps the fullest one for himself.

He was rebellious as a kid and teenager, but hey, at least his juvie record is sealed 

He's been detained and in the back of a cop car many times, but the reason was never really bad enough for him to be arrested. Mostly he's just being mouthy. And the time he got caught spray painting on the side of a building. And that one time he and Getou hopped the fence to get into the local pool. And that other time-

It got worse after Getou wasn't around to get him out of trouble. Suddenly, breaking the rules wasn't fun anymore and he mellowed out. 

Tried alcohol and cigarettes before he was legal. Decided neither was his thing, however, he did start drinking occasionally when he was legal.

He's a fucking chaotic drunk. Oh my god he's absolutely feral

Most bars in the vicinity know him by name and they sigh whenever he walks in

Shoko is his emergency contact. She hates it

Shoko has to drag drunk Gojo home at least twice a month and is not happy about it

Once she left him in an alley. He made it home okay so she guesses it's fine

Once he got so drunk he spilled beer on his sock. The thought the fastest way to dry them was by sticking them in the microwave. Forgot about it until someone asked, "Who the fuck is cooking socks???"

I feel it important he was in the break room of the local grocery store and no one knows how he got there

As he was escorted out he stole a grocery cart and rode away in it while singing Don't Threaten Me (With A Good Time) by Panic! At The Disco

He has no alcohol tolerance at all what so ever

He will literally just stare at you and giggle

It's funny he's really flirty but also doesn't seal the deal. Literally, every woman in that bar is willing to get in his bed but he declines every offer. No one knows why

Its because he respects women

He helps his students break the rules as long as they're within reason. Once night Yuji was really hungry and after having a temper tantrum he couldn't order Uber eats bc the school is supposed to be secret Gojo helped sneak him out to get food. Who needs curfew anyway.

The shirts in his closet range from like twenty bucks to the iconic rich bitch shirt the kids ruined in that one chapter we all know the one 

He still wears that by the way, he calls it "art" 

When he was younger, Megumi drew a picture of Gojo being eaten by his shadow dogs. Gojo found it and now it's framed in his room.

He keeps up with current trends and memes like no one's business. This is how he bonds with his kids.

Don't call him old, but also, he'll tell you to respect your elders it's a mess

He has a lot of games on his phone. You can usually find him holding his phone sideways playing some RPG game he probably spent too much money on 

He did hop on the Pokemon Go hype train but after becoming overpowered he got bored

This happens to a lot of games. He pays way too much money, gets to be the strongest in the server, and gets bored

He likes games where you can kill other people's troops and likes to watch as they lose all their power

I canon him as being borderline sadistic

This is why he's Sakata Gintoki reincarnated

White hair, sweet tooth, black leather clothes, dad vibes, never takes anything seriously bc when he does he's scary as fuck, the works.

He is Sakata Gintoki

He liked Gintama growing up. He watched a lot of iconic shows as they aired. He considers himself an og

He's hella bilingual

Because he's the strongest he goes overseas for missions a lot. Because of this he speaks a lot of languages and knows a lot about international cuisine 

He takes pictures of himself eating disgusting foods like snails. He never likes them but he loves the idea of Nobara gagging back in japan

Has paperwork sitting untouched on his desk from three months ago that he will not touch for at least another three months

Does the crossword puzzles in the newspaper every week

Uses humor as a coping mechanism and it honestly just became a personality

Constantly popping his joints. I'm sorry if you find this gross I too find it gross.

Probably brought home every stray animal he ever met ever until he was at least like 22 y/o

Tags: @wasabito @kittaliapenn

[the-record]

The Soulmate Who Wasn’t Meant to Be pt. 2

Based off of 'A Soulmate Who Wasn't Meant to Be' by Jess Benko.

Part 1

Pairing: Wanda Maximoff x GN!Reader

A/N: I am finally back with part 2! I decided to just write a short part 2 and let you all decide in your minds what you want to happen. I’m just a people pleaser with writers block tbh. I finally got my butt in gear and wrote this because I’m dumb and forgot my iphone password and it’s been disabled for 4 hours now (help) so here it is :)

When you had woken up, you immediately kicked Wanda out, needing time and space to think about what she did. 

Needing “time and space” away from her ended up being 2 weeks. And for 2 whole weeks, Wanda longed to see you again. Of course, she still loved you. She always had and probably always would. She had thought that her love had faded for you when you spent months apart, but it hadn’t. After seeing you crying on the bathroom, her heart shattered. She had done that to you and it only made her love you more. Wanting to protect you and love for all eternity.

The first week you had spent almost entirely in your bedroom. Only going out to grab food from the kitchen because Nat refused to bring you any. After that, you came out more often. Going to train or get food from a local bakery. You and Nat even went to the movies together one day. It was fun. It helped take my mind off things for awhile, but you had to talk to her eventually.

Your form of communication had been a letter. 

Wanda had gone back to her room one day, wanting to take a hot shower and nap after a tiring training, to a small white envelope on her bed. Her name written in cursive across it. She set it on the nightstand and took a quick shower to wash off the grime before coming back to her bed, not even putting on clothes. 

If she thought her shattered 2 weeks ago, it was pulverized tonight via your letter. Tears streamed down her face as she read. Sobs wracking her body as she read your handwriting over and over and over again. It hurt more than anything to see what you wrote.

Dear Wanda,

     I hope you know why this letter has arrived in your room. If you haven’t, please use context clues my love. 

     I’ve taken my time to think over your actions and my decision was difficult and tearful. I never wanted it to come to this, because I love you so much. My dear, you mean the world to me and I love you more than anything. However I need to think about myself as well.

     As we both know, we work long tiring hours and are often put in situations where we may struggle to find time in our very busy schedules to even talk to each other. It has put such a large strain on our relationship but I’ve held on.

     I’ll be honest. Seeing you and Vision destroyed me. My heart was wrecked and I wanted nothing more than to forget about what you did. To go back to the way we were and cuddle up together and watch a movie on the couch. But seeing what you did hurt, and I couldn’t forgive you.

     I love you more than life itself and knowing that you couldn’t feel the same for me hurts. Vision is a great guy person thing robot? companion. I trust that he will treat you well and fairly. You deserve it. I’ve also decided to stay at the compound and hope that we can be friends again.

I love you always and forever. 

Yours always,             Y/N

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