#I got a lovely caring wife
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it’s late night, so it’s time to think irrationally again
#the rare leigh#been feeling lonely again#Which is annoying#cause I’m not alone ya know?#I got a lovely caring wife#Two affectionate cats#And a solid handful and a half of good friends#Doesn’t stop the feeling tho#It’s not just a late night thought; it just happens to be late night rn#thinking about hrt stresses me out too (big thing on my mind lately)#Cause even if the new doc will just prescribe them immediately#I can’t get them#Cause I need the job I have to keep up with all our payments and food and shit#I feel so old too#Barely been around 3 decades#(That really is also stressing me out about hrt and body image)#Cause like#what if it takes longer than expected?#I already have little patience for exercise and healthier eating#But I have a look in mind#And I’m just not it rn#And it sucks#sorry for the pity party#Being lonely makes feel like spilling almost everything on my mind#I should go to bed#take a shower in the morning#All that jazz#sorry for the wall of tags as thoughts#it will likely happen again
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Viet blasts Loop as well ✨✨✨
#in stars and time#isat#isat spoilers#in stars and time spoilers#tag just in case!!!#because of the first pic#its meant to be a subtle parallel to the story of the viet story of the man on the moon#i got on this train of thought because i think the favor tree would def be a banyan tree and then speedrun to chu cuoi with the banyan tree#for those that dont know its a story about a woodcutter that finds the plant of resurrection who heals and gains a wife and dog#only to lose and bring back both of them after their guts were hollowed out and the wife was not the same aka forgetful#the wife accidentally insults the plant that grew into a tree who then leaves the earth while the woodcutter runs after it#only to cling onto the tree as it ascends into the sky and lands on the moon thus the woodcutter caring for it all alone in the sky :)#im really bad at summarizing but thats the essentials#anyways loop is both the woodcutter the wife and the dog all in one#love u loop#the draws
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was talking to my brother the other day after i rewatched dark phoenix and he was like 'why is everyone so mean to charles in this movie?? were they always this mean to him ?? is it cause he's bald now- he lost his pretty privilege??' and i fear i havent recovered
#xmen#xmen movies#dark phoenix#charles xavier#professor x#snap chats#LIKE HE'S RIGHT 1000% I JUST DIDN'T EXPECT HIM TO SAY IT VLERKVJAKLJ#ANOTHER banger of a quote from my brother chat i screamed when he said that#adopting that into my belief system i fear#like really thinking on it they really did only start being especially rude after apocalypse im crying#dont quote me on that i have to rewatch apocalypse but as far as im aware. yeah 😭😭#and its SUCH a travesty cause i love how mcavoy looked in DP SO much he looks so good bald#like please if we were going to wrap up this era of xmen films why did we have to rerun DP#can we try again. please. i need him bald one more time in a movie i dont have to argue with myself i like#see DP wasnt the worst thing ever. probably. like scott got to do things again ..... and kurt .......#and the paris proposal. never forget that.#ALSO THE FUCKIN. 'no one cares charles' BIT ???? 97 ref'd that directly i know they did and i cheered#listen if they can ref the 'black leather suits' from the xmen movies i can believe they called back to that too <- delusional#anyway when james said thats the meanest thing erik could say/do to charles .... he was cooking ....#'thats the type of thing your wife/husband says' he was so right .... we know james never misses with the cherik takes tho#ok bye i have obligations that i need to complete so i can draw my favorite cue ball
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Chilchuck analysis speedrun: As a hardworking half-foot who grew up poor and discriminated against and had his gullibility taken advantage of multiple times in his early adventuring days, Chilchuck thinks optimism is a dangerous flaw. He’s stressed and strict all the time because his job is noticing details like traps that could get everyone killed before anyone knows it, he takes the lives of everyone to be on his shoulders, and with the way he speaks about it that probably partly reflects how he felt about taking it upon himself to provide for his family too. His life’s always been pretty centered around work and has become even moreso now that his wife left and everyone is independent, and due to past events he’s very iffy with bonding with coworkers. He thinks feelings and job are a disaster mix. Like with his wife or with parties hiring him as sacrifice, being open or having good faith is vulnerability which can get you hurt, so he processes and shows all his stress as anger instead of worry. Doing strict dieting probably isn’t helping the irritability what with hunger, and on top of being a hunger suppressant alcohol might be the main stress reliever he has.
His grey hairs are so earned
#Chilchuck tims#dungeon meshi#analysis#HAPPY CHILCHUCK DAY#You know what yeah understandable have a good day#Alcohol be a ticket straight to chilling out town I suppose#Spoilers#dungeon meshi manga spoilers#Thinking on if I should split my family masterpost into diff posts for max reach hmm#I’m def editing in the second page into that post that “I’ve got three people to think of here” sounds sooo much like that’s#how he’d think about it in a family setting as well. He works so hard for them 🥺#I could have put 100 pics on this post to justify everything I mentioned but this is a speedrun for a reason. I’m planning so many#compilations rn i need a break from rereading lol#He’s just here to do his work!! He just wanna do his work!!!#I’m always rotating him in my brain like rotisserie chicken :( Hopefully this doesn’t sound disjointed or insane to average readers#He’s always on his guard so he has a short fuse and his type of humor & liking for snarky remarks doesn’t help#Also bc he knows nothing lasts he has a very work hard play hard mentality where ‘dying doing something you love. Like drinking’#is nice in his opinion#This post makes it all sound so dry. Chilchuck is so messy thinking about him is thrilling I swear. This is concise but at what cost…#OH ALSO he has weird self-hate issues where he really values his skills but devalues himself on a personal level.#‘I am a coward. I only care about myself. I cheated on my wife (lying for no reason)’ etc etc#Can’t disappoint people and make them leave you if they already have no expectations and esteem of you 😏💡#Laws are important to him bc he knows how bad punishment is if you break them and how they’re the key to getting better rights
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Just don't say I didn't warn you. You're Cid now, and if anything happens to him, we're finished.
#ffxvi#clive rosfield#jill warrick#ffxviedit#ffedit#final fantasy 16#final fantasy xvi#i started this gifset bc i wanted to gif these two in their cool hoods but then i realized#i really love the way this second half of the game is set up#how they both think they're saving the world and expect everyone to thank them#but they're unintentionally making life harder for a lot of people#and what “saving” looks like to them is very different than how others see it#and they can't expect a thank you from people when they never asked to be saved#in fact their presence is making things worse#it's a lesson they sorta learn but Not Really bc otherwise they would have changed course in their destroy-all-mothercrystals plan#but most importantly they both look so hot like this#my husband and my wife#and what a way to open up the second half of the game too bc the writers were like “clive got hotter!! jill's still a beaut!!”#and i was like yES this is all i care about#mine
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professional rugby league player togame who will never forget to kiss the tattoo on his ring finger before each match while he scans through the crowd for you
#rings are obviously a safety hazard so he got a tattoo instead#after the match he's running straight to you#when he reaches you he's already got you in an embrace so tight he's quite literally about to lift you onto the field#he's sweaty and bloody but who cares he's so hot like that#if he gets a medal it's all going to you#there's now numerous post-match pictures of you two because god forbid togame from loving his precious wife#i just want to be a rugby player's wife#togame jo#wind breaker
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the instant downwards spiral of danganronpa’s female characters after thh is so insane to me. like while thh has its issues and is no way perfectly written its female cast is largely treated like Normal People with real motivations and complex inner lives on par with the male cast. and then you get to literally every other game in the series and it’s like. killing women off to enhance male characters’ development. obscenely obvious pedo bait. literally 0 character. sexualized sa victim. killing women off to enhance male characters’ development. killing women off to enhance male characters’ development.
#icarus speaks#dangantag#crit#like again. thh is not the Pinnacle of writing#but comparing someone like celeste to later characters like mikan or tenko#it’s literally fucking mind boggling how we got there#thh does slightly suffer from the fridged wife issue#but sayaka feels different to me because she doesn’t Solely exist/act for the protagonist#chiaki and kanade’s whole shtick is ‘omg protag i love you and support you so you better support yourself after i die to honor me 🤪’#but sayaka’s story is largely focused on makoto supporting HER#and her actions are taken purely selfishly and impulsively#chiaki and kaede died wanting a better life for their classmates#sayaka died wanting a better life for herself#and obviously yes she wasn’t aware the others would get executed if she was successful#she was still ready to leave them all behind. to take a life for her own dream#so like again while there’s still An issue#the approach taken with her is much more nuanced than just ‘wuh woah caring supportive woman died. time to cry over her protag man!’#also sorry not sorry for all the dr posting therm’s series reminded me of how much i fuckign hate this franchise#like yes i love it and was hyperfixated on it for years. i would also easily sell it for a single corn chip
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Cant stop thinking about how Viren destroyed his entire family.
How he refused to listen to Kpp'ar and attacked him, how he broke Lissa’s heart when he couldn’t see the error of his ways, how he fed into Harrow’s anger during his time of grief, how he used Soren for his own personal gain, how he stopped treating his daughter as his child and more of a assest
How he whittled down everyone he had to nothing
#kpp'ar treated his children like his own grandchildren#his wife loved their children and couldn’t bare to split them up#harrow saw him as a brother and welcomed him into his life#soren looked up to him and wanted nothing more than to make him proud even if he didnt have the stomach for dark magic#Claudia cares for him so much and takes after him#he loved so hard he got rid of everything#jelly tarts#the dragon prince#tdp viren#viren when i catch you its on sight#‘im ensuring the safety and security of my family’ YOU HURT ALL OF THEM#YOU HUBRIS HAS LEFT YOU IN SICILY ALL ALONE#tdp magefam
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tease tidbit tuesday 🫧
hi friends, i'm procrastinating doing my fema courses in favor of watching season 4 <3 have a lil bit of eddie vs the hoa
It’s just—Buck is big and it kind of drives Eddie a little crazy. Like? God, okay. He’s a little stupid over it. You’ll have to forgive him. He is so big, right, larger than Eddie and Eddie isn’t a small guy. He’s filled out since finishing his probationary year, settling in his career and getting comfortable in the life he chose for himself and Chris. He’s more functional muscle than big gains; his stomach’s soft, protected by a sweet layer of fat, but his core’s solid and his arms are twice the size they used to be when he was twenty-seven. See? He isn’t small. But, like, Buck’s just bigger, wider and broader and thicker, and there’s something so delicious about having somebody that large at his mercy, at his every beck and call. Buck has this quality about him, no matter his size, like he’s always ready to drop to his knees and let himself be taken care of, and it has Eddie’s head buzzing in a way that most definitely isn’t from the beer.
tagged by @wikiangela, @jeeyuns, @devirnis, @disasterbuckdiaz, and @daffi-990 <3
tagging @spagheddiediaz, @puppyboybuckley, @evanbegins, @honestlydarkprincess, @exhuastedpigeon, @thewolvesof1998, @theotherbuckley, and @monsterrae1 if any of you wanna share!
#i've got 4 tests to take/procedures to read#and you know what? watching jinx eddie is one of my favorites but i don't think we talk about bobby and eddie's dynamic enough#what the fuck do you MEAN mr eddie told bobby word for word 'i'm not over her' in reference to shannon when they were#discussing ana and then a few episodes later eddie has a panic attack because somebody assumed ana was his wife?#eddie's story with grief (over shannon and himself together and separate) is so quiet and so glorious and so beautiful#i can't get over it? he loved shannon so much and god. GOD. he tried to move on and he wasn't ready but he had fun#he had so much fun with ana until it wasn't anymore and then. and then GOD. GOD?#i'm gonna have a little fit if i'm not fuckin careful?#and the way eddie's like 'you of all people should understand' and bobby's like 'i do that's why i'm telling you'#the bobby and eddie parallels here my god :)#also buck running and falling after brian the impersonator is never not going to make me laugh#mwah#tag games
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there’s probably something deeply wrong with me because every time i see someone react to the pok gukgak interrogation scene it’s like “oh no oh my god is riz’s dad a bad guy?” when the first time i saw that scene my only thought was “oh my god is riz’s dad HOT??”
#i mean admittedly my instinct was that he was lying about what he was saying & he was a good guy (which i was right about) but#it truly was like pok: i don’t give a shit about my wife & kid i only care about this job / me: pok gukgak save me… save me pok gukgak#fantasy high#dimension 20#pok gukgak#riz gukgak#in my defense i really love spies so watching someone convincingly act indifferent about the most important part of their life… CRAZYYY#but i still feel like i’m setting back feminism so many years but also. he got acid splashed on his face & didn’t even flinch… that’s hot#guy who would literally go through hell & back bc it’s for the greater good but would also if he had to do it for the people he loves#but like. the greater good always came before the people he loves. that was the job. he loved them so much but he also missed so much#how much WAS he willing to sacrifice for the sake of the job? work is a great form of love but it can’t be the only form#especially for a young kid. but yea idk i have complicated feelings#pok gukgak u r so fascinating to me#pok sklonda riz & work as a form of love or whatever#truly would not work as a campaign & would be better as a book but young pok young kalina young sklonda… i need to know EVERYTHINGGG#the shameful thirst post -> character rumination journey of these tags is truly Something but also par for the course w/ my brain
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"Your son?" "My apprentice, but I think of him like a son."
#pentiment#andreas maler#casper ziegler#my art#it took me about two seconds to go full 'if anything happens to my beloved casper i'm killing everyone in this town and then myself'#'and then no one will be around to solve this murder mystery because we'll ALL be dead'#(some spoilers to at least where im at in the game>)#my andreas loved his son but found no love with his wife#(though he wanted to. he really wanted to.)#drifting off alone and finding this kind of 'what if' when he took casper on and began travelling#and it wasn't fair to anyone involved. not his wife who had to face loss alone#not andreas who was trying to cover up the hole august left with another family's son#not casper (though he wouldn't know this- since he didn't realize the extent andreas really cared about him like a father)#but most things went unspoken and most consequences unseen#so there was just this deep undercurrent of silent fatherly love and worry beneath every interaction#between the two#and it KILLS me even though i know 99% of this was me reading between the lines they let me choose#i wonder if my andreas kind of secretly wished casper's family didn't make it through the turmoil#it's a fucked up thought and i think he'd feel extremely guilty if he ever caught himself thinking it#but there's got to be some extreme dread there about the idea of the apprenticeship ending and this boy he considers a son cutting ties#and really having to face going back to his wife who he (rightfully) feels guilty about leaving.#even if she never loved him#and even if only pain was there to return to#ANYWAY#I FEEL TOTALLY NORMAL ABOUT ANDREAS MALER#edit: guess who just completed the game. guess who’s own art is now making herself SAD
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I'm the wife in my marriage.
It's funny to me anyway. Funny to me because my wife is the very picture of femininity, loving, caring, sexy, pretty, beautiful wife, loving and adored by all her children. And a satisfied and hot for her husband.
But to me she is beautiful and terrible as the Dawn! Treacherous as the Seas! Stronger than the foundations of the Earth! All shall love her and despair!
And yet she chose me.
So to all the hella ladies who rejected my advances? Y'all missed out. Because she saw in me what way too many people couldn't. And sometimes still can't.
And she wants to run my life. And the lives of our whole family. And we all kinda love it. Mostly. But it ain't worth the headache or heartache of fighting her on anything. She's Daddy's little princess and her mother is the loving matron and queen bitch of the family and we all stay in line. Mostly. I love to do my own thing too much for my own good. But it keeps our fights about stupid stuff instead of my weed use again.
(I'm dead ass functional and present from 6am on till I finally get my insomniac ass too sleep while high just to escape the constant anxiety about my sick daughter's upcoming surgery, my dying suegro, my mourning wife, disturbed autistic son, special needs princess Daddy's girl I'm spoiling her to death to make her just as powerful and ungovernable mother and it's working too well already. Have you ever negotiated with a hostile bitchy entitled as fuck child? )
Anyway, you wouldn't know it looking at me or talking normal chitchat, but I'm pretty fucking manly. In the way my culture defines manliness. I'm not very masculine. But I'm very manly.
I'm feminine as fuck in my household. I mother the kids, help their emotional development, work on my wife's emotional and mental well-being, and I'm the one never in the mood for sex. And I do every single thing she says. And then she does the discipline and management of the family's affairs. And she's the one who has to seduce me. Did I mention she was sexy as fuck? (While I'm awkward as fuck every time we even roleplay.) And a horny Latina. (That's why these horny sexy, nice, Latinos are taking over. It's natural selection. The Whites just can't compete and as usual are getting their panties in a twist over not being able to compete even with everything in their favor to out reproduce them all but it was too many kids for a nuclear family to handle Whites.) So beautiful hot queen sexy as fuck Latina seduces me every night. #blessed. So fuck yeah I don't wanna fuck up this arrangement. So I do everything she tells me to and treat her real good and let her win every argument and over apologize. Except when I make a rare exception to make a stand in something important or just to make some trouble and have some fun.
Oh yeah. She's a clean freak 😮💨 But she's an impatient Latina housewife perfectionist clean freak. So she gets mad at my perfectly good job when company isn't ever coming job and tells me to stop even trying to clean. Go play Minecraft with your daughter to keep her occupied.🤣
I have the best living situation ever. I'll be your bitch my bitchy highness. Just please keep playing with my hair on your lap. Oh, and that sucking my dick the way you do and being right 95% of the time on judgement calls.
So yeah I'm the wife.
And I got a pretty good life.
#and know you know the rest of the story#when i was s younger man i had a good paying job at a factory plant as a temp worker#i liked this job#and it was easy clean indoor temp controlled light labor with a jovial#kindly and generally loving crowd of people all just trying to earn a living in this shit economy#and care for each get along with each other#it was a really nice atmosphere. there was only a little manager taking advantage of a woman's situation to force a relationship.#but she was petty please about the whole arrangement because she was lonely and he was kind and likable and#good looking younger guy#and it made her job impossible to get the boot#even as it got easier to boot#anyways i worked my ass off and just tried to get along with the boss#and it paid great#We could have been poor and happy working jobs like that for life if i really had to got some reason#but anyways this bossman manager sees me sweeping my ass off a clean floor and instead of telling me to go lean on a post for a bit#tells me I'm doing a good job#and that I'll make a someone s fine wife someday#i wanted to slap that smug mother fucker up there head w my broom. But i was laughing to hard at that fuckers joke because i liked the guy.#and i liked my job#anyway#here i am being a good little wife#and I'm living the life of Reilly doing it#i don't know the etymology of that phrase is. only my Dad says it in my experience#it might be good own little creation.#you're welcome#And the mother fucker just let me keep sweeping my dumbass all over a clean floor!#Union strong
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"The outer reaches of space remain unexplored by humankind to this day, but its greed is relentless. We grasp and yearn and hunger for knowledge— answers to questions we cry out into the endless void expecting to understand, expecting the stars to respond. The stars will not, but one day something else will— and we will not like what it has to say." — Rome Solomon, Beyond the Exosphere (1965)
taglist (opt in/out): @shellibisshe, @florbelles, @ncytiri, @hibernationsuit, @stars-of-the-heart, @vvanessaives, @katsigian, @radioactiveshitstorm, @estevnys, @adelaidedrubman, @celticwoman, @rindemption, @carlosoliveiraa, @noirapocalypto, @dickytwister, @killerspinal, @euryalex, @ri-a-rose, @velocitic, @thedeadthree
#obscura#edit:rome#nuclearocs#nuclearedits#ok so. ok hi. red and i made a new universe hi. sorry. morris quincy victor and eleanor belong to them the rest belong to meee :3#the pictures i used are basically the patron saints of their occupation / line of work! so that's not what they look like#anyway it's a mix of paranormal stuff + lovecraftian horror + sort of zombies :^)#they're like. the domains of lucifer (demons) behemoth (zombies) and leviathan (the eldritch horrors that happen in space and oceans)#who are like. the three evils that torment the mortal realm#it's all in a historical setting kind of parallel to our world? so a bunch of historic events are the same but it's like#a little bit more advanced with technology but at the same time it's not. it's Just A Little Different y'know#rome's sister went to space for a mission and just straight up went missing which prompts him to become an astronomer#and he's the first one to start speculating the existence of leviathan as eldritch god#morris is a technician at the academy who has an angel stuck in his computer#eve is a nun and herbalist who witnesses the influence of behemoth firsthand through some sick travelers#that she and the other nuns of her convent take care of#anatoly and quincy are both from different space missions who end up as the only survivors who are not basically a plant#the other two survivors have secretly been replaced with some sort of parasites. annihilation style if you've seen that movie#eleanor is a demonologist and works together with her brother victor who's her cameraman#clarence is a blind psychic who lost her sight because of an angel trying to warn her and in return got her psychic abilities#and lazarus is one of the two most famous demonologists in the world but his wife (the other one) passed away#so now he's alone and since he's not from an upper class family like his wife was he's not all that loved as she was#there's a lot going on but it's SO fucking fun to work on so far. feel free to send any asks i would love to explain more :^)#if you've made it this far also hi i love you. kiss for you
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I’ve been so caught up thinking about the fight sequences and the animation styles and the writing and the antics aand the everything about Spy Family Code White that I forgot about the Ferris wheel. Oh my god oh my god oh my god the Ferris wheel.
#spy x family#spy family code white#spy family#spy x family code white#babbling and spoilers beware:#LIKE???????? that was so intense in the best way#my man got on his KNEES. ON HIS KNEES. and said no stop my oh need to hear this.#you need to hear that you matter and that I chose you and made a promise to you#that you are a mother and a fantastic one and our lives are better with you in them#he got on his knees and skipped past proposing and said let me restate my wedding vows#and I genuinely think if he had been allowed to keep going he would have told her he loves her and wants her to stay.#bc my dude had MOMENTUM and just kept going. he showed no sign of stopping.#he started yammering about how wonderful his wife is and couldn’t physically stop#he won’t admit it to himself but he loves his family so much#he won’t admit it to himself but the moment either of them starts to doubt that they are cared for he will drop everything and remind them#fuck I love spy family it’s so good#I’m so excited for more#I should read the manga finally#ALSOOOOOOO#The cute little teaser at the end that was like ah well time for a family trip this time to the south!!!#LIKE PLEAASSEEEE CAN I GET A BEACH EPISODE#A BEACH MOVIE IF YOU WILL#I want Spy Family Movies like Hercule Poireaut stories. throw those guys in an episodic mystery or mission for 90 minutes and give me 46 plz
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Eddie: What? I'm not aggressive!
Steve: Last Tuesday, you wacked me with a pair of crocs and stole my chocolate chips?
Eddie: Survival of the fittest, bitch.
~~~~~~~~~
Eddie: That’s the longest worm I’ve ever seen.
Steve: That’s a snake.
~~~~~~~~~
Steve: State your name, rank, and intention.
Eddie: Eddie, Eddie, fun.
~~~~~~~~~~
Eddie: I can’t believe all these people are wearing black. black is supposed to be my thing, they’re all just posers.
Steve: Eddie, for the last time, we’re at a funeral.
~~~~~~~~~~
Eddie: Which is correct, seven and five IS thirteen, or seven and five ARE thirteen?
Steve: Neither.
Steve: Because it's twelve.
~~~~~~~~~~
Eddie: I need you to come meet me, and I need you to come alone.
Steve: And I need you to be less vague and weird.
~~~~~~~~~~
Steve: I have to say, I'm a little embarrassed for you.
Eddie: This is a sports-related injury. It makes me look cool!
Steve: Tripping over a basketball on your way to the bathroom is not cool!
~~~~~~~~~~
Eddie: Hey there Vecna, It's me, ya boi.
Steve: Eddie, NO!
~~~~~~~~~~
Eddie: I was going to suggest we do Marilyn Monroe and JFK roleplay, but I’d get way too into it.
Steve: What- how?
Eddie: You’d be like “come to bed … Mr. President” and I’d be like, “I need to increase the amount of American military advisors in South Vietnam by a factor of 18.”
~~~~~~~~~~
Eddie: Y'know, I once knew a man who said to me: “When life gives you lemons, make lemonade.” He also had a pair of sideburns that would cause even Jude Law’s face to weep in forfeit. You put those lemons in a sack and beat your enemies with ‘em! And maybe if you beat ‘em hard enough the bag will split open and lemon juice will spray into their eyes, causing intense burning pains as you crush them into a citrus-y pulp!
Steve: Wait, wait, wait, wait. Their heads or the lemons?
Eddie: Whatever caves first!
#RAHHH#I kinda forgot I had this in my drafts#wellllll Ik y’all don’t care cause this is not my fic butttt here’s an update on it:#um well. writers block. is happening. I’m not even that far. I wrote like two paragraphs today. progress ig#but in other news if I keep this up ill start a new fic#I have it all planned out (literally not even close to all of it)#I just got the main concept. which is what I said abt this one. SIGH#also if y’all didn’t see my post#pt two is on ao3 now#anywho#I love tv girl#and my wife (I don’t have a wife. if I ever reference my wife just know I am talking about Maya Hawke.)#anywayssss#steddie#stranger things#eddie munson#steve harrington#stranger things incorrect quotes#incorrect quotes#incorrect steddie
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Sometimes I think of Amy Pond, who grew up being called mad by those who wielded the word as a tool of exclusion and shame —
Amy Pond, who though forced into the hands of four psychiatrists, still clung to that which they called madness until those systems which elevate psychosocial conformity above humanity stripped it from her —
Amy Pond, whose imaginary friend reappeared for a single hour after twelve years and reignited that faith before disappearing for two more years —
Amy Pond, who spent those those two years under the same implicit threat ingrained in her through psychiatric violence, and thus began to believe the man who stopped the invasion was “just a madman with a box,” only for him to agree, and to also call her “mad, impossible Amy Pond,” reframing madness as non-negative for the first time in her life —
Amy Pond, who ignored the disembodied voice of her imaginary friend even as she ran away with him for real, who still lived each day with the traumatic internalization of deviancy dictated upon her by the psychiatric-industrial complex that shaped her from childhood —
Amy Pond, who wouldn't acknowledge the Doctor's voice, such that it took an Angel in her eye that was literally killing her to ensure she couldn't reality check herself —
Amy Pond, who stood before a room which muttered about “the psychiatrists we brought her to,” and though afraid, escaped their rigid parameters of acceptable existence.
#I like seeing it as indicating she began hearing his voice when he was gone for all those years! why else wouldn't she say anything?#actually psychotic Amy agenda#Amy Pond#eleventh doctor#reclaimed language#oh look its another antipsychiatry themed doctor who post#sumn abt in Fairies At The Bottom Of The Garden audio AND Imaginary Enemies comic we see Amelia bein called slurs against psychotic people#(shes called psycho in both)#like!!! and SO MUCH OF AMYS STORY is about her claiming her agency in ways that previous companions weren't allowed to-#companions whose status as a Wife was a signifier of an to end of their value individually- 'this is no place for a married woman' etc#in some cases Wife-ness forced upon them *as* a denial of agency 'I spent all that time trying to find you I'm not going back now!' etc#whereas Amys story deconstructs that; Amys “Choice” is an illusion- Amy being a Wife doesn't demote her agency as an companion#anyways I love that aspect of reclaimed agency for Amy but ALSO#“madness” as an expression of agency against systems of oppression is SO relevant. the mind defends itself and the alternative isnt better#the oppressive system in this case being ableist structures and the psychiatric system ITSELF which is a whole other layer#the moral being that even if the Doctor WAS a delusion? he'd still be a needed coping mechanism for a child who says “ppl always leave”#and instead of examining her feelings of abandonment they insist 'aLiENs DoNt ExIsT' as seen in the 'sTaRs DoNt ExIsT' psychiatrist in TBB#they don't care that she's in PAIN- why would they?- they just care that she's 'abnormal' and therefore not deserving of humanity#(eleventh) doctor is neurodivergent tag#I mean technically this is about Amy but I once (twice) used that tag on the post about the Master. its the spirit of it!#and Amy Pond + her Raggedy Doctor as “mad” people is very *chefs kiss*#((you know what im putting the tag on my last Amy post :D ))#Mels experienced this very differently and I'll make a post about her at some point- I just wanna make sure my points are got across better#sumn abt Amelia's “crazy” was Mels' “delinquency.” Amy treated as if she doesn't know her own life while Mels treated as threatening#sumn abt adultification of Black girls while Amy is infantilized#Amy Pond who could rewrite reality in a reborn universe because she grew up with a Crack in her wall that no one believed was special —#ableism#saneism#unreality#because I mean Amy's stand against psychiatric dehumanization was to REWRITE THE UNIVERSE with her Crack powers
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