#I get that there's a war going on but it really feels like we're speedrunning

[luceafarul-de-dimineata]

I just got done re-reading the main story of whb and I have have come to the realisation that everything happend in only a week at max.

Everything between Chapter 1 and Chapter 2 happened in the same day. Then we fell asleep due to Mammon's curse song thing and we were unconcious for an undisclosed amount of time (though I doupt it was more than a day).

Then Chapter 3 and Chapter 4 happen one after another without any stop in the middle, we get kidnapped by the Hades crew and we go to Hades (again, undisclosed amount of time, but still, probably no more than a day at most)

In Chapter 5 we have some rest time, but still not a lot since Leviathan really wants to go find the original seed of the tree of knowledge, so, again, I doupt that someone like Leviathan would just sit around doing jack shit while hell was under threat and he thinks he found a solution.

So, at most, the whole story so far happened in about a week. It honestly feels like there should be more, but I can't find any indicators suggesting time passing that aren't the ones I mentioned above.

We have been told repeatedly that time in Hell and time on Earth are different, which kind of makes this whole thing even more terrifing. From Minhyeok's perpective we've been gone for weeks or months, but from our POV we just got here.

When I first read Bimet's H-scene, I thought him saying "you're loose" was kind of a haha pun because MC fucked a lot of demons before him, but if we go off the timeline of events, we got done fucking Mammon like 3 hours ago.

I am very confused and I am putting this here to kind of see if anyone in this community can enlighten me.

Admitadly, it would be very funny if everything happened in one day. We should keep this going, cause I want to see how much stuff they can fit in so little time.

[zombolouge]

The thing is, it's not about the Therapy Speak. It's not that everyone who disliked DAV hates healthy communication as a dynamic in fiction. It's not even about only being allowed to be a good guy, really, because most of us did do that anyways (though the option not being there is a loss I grieve even if I never chose it myself, but that's another rant for another day).

It's that DAV does all that stuff at the expense of being believable. At the expense of characters being permitted to have personalities. At the expense of emotions behaving the way emotions actually work for people. At the expense of letting the plot build tension through the stakes we're forced to grapple with.

Half the fics out there take the conflicts between the characters in the previous games and resolve them. I do it myself ALL THE TIME because I like to find a path to resolution through just about any conflict, that's what fascinates me about telling these stories. But the higher the stakes, the harder a conflict is to resolve. You CAN resolve any conflict, you CAN communicate healthily through any emotion, but you can't skip the time it takes to process it all to even be able to communicate it. As someone whose got CPTSD and recovered from many Traumas, I can tell you that the TIME it takes to work through it is not something you can fast track, and the ups and downs of your emotions on that journey can't be skipped. It doesn't matter if you know exactly how to do it, exactly how it's going to feel, or exactly what the end state will be, you CAN'T speedrun it.

DAV has stakes that are astronomical, but nobody treats them that way. Nobody experiences denial - a common psychological reaction to being presented with information that shatters your worldview. Nobody expresses any distrust in the establishments handing out this information - something common among cultures that have at times been at war, even if those wars are "resolved" in the present. Nobody really ever breaks down - something that any person is capable of under extreme circumstances, especially when facing multiple crises of faith that challenge everything they thought they knew about themselves. Nobody blows their lid because they've been repressing the hell out of everything. Nobody grieves for southern Thedas, the entire thing dying off screen and giving you, the player, NO way to engage with it in any way.

Not to mention there are barely any inter-party conflicts, when there should be a lot more. Why is everyone (except Spite) fine with it if Emmrich sacrifices Manfred to become a lich? Why is everyone fine with Illario potentially being set free if he was working with the venatori and Elgar'nan, two sources that have actively attacked everyone in the party? Why doesn't Neve resent Lucanis if Treviso is picked? Why doesn't Harding get pissed off at Nevarra for having a secret society of liches that never helped during the Inquisition's war against the breach and corypheus? Why doesn't Harding feel ANYTHING about Ferelden and the rest of the south? Shouldn't Harding resent the fact that she's stuck in the north while her home dies?

All of these conflicts ARE resolvable, but not easily. And it's not believable that they're never brought up. It's not believable that these characters skip through everything that happens with like, barely a frowny face most of the time. In DAO, Alistair leaves if you don't treat his conflicts with respect. In DA2, your party members try to kill each other if you don't pay attention to their conflicts/emotional needs. In DAI, people can leave or betray you, Cassandra throws a chair at Varric and tries to body him out a window. ALL of these can be resolved but it takes effort, and the characters get to SHOW that they're bothered by them and struggling the way a person would when faced with those emotions.

The problem isn't the therapy speak, or that everyone is loyal and won't leave, or that they aren't mean to each other enough. It's that it's toxic positivity. It's toxic as fuck to imply that anger or grief should be smiled over or else you're giving up, and it's damaging to people to avoid engaging with their own negative emotional responses to extremely negative stimuli. It's pasting optimism over very real, very weighty issues, sweeping it all under the rug, and you keep waiting for the lid to blow off the pressure cooker that creates, but it never does. It never becomes anything that emulates real emotions, which is why the whole damn thing feels hollow. Everything's dying and nobody cares, not even about themselves, and that's NOT healthy communication.

It's bullshit, half-assed storytelling that didn't tell us the actual story, just the vague idea of what it could have been.

[duplicitywrites]

Cindle (@cindle-writes) is someone I cannot say enough lovely things about! I want to give a special thank you to Cindle for all of her amazing Mutuals March posts with this shoutout dedicated especially to her. 💜

I think it's safe to say Cindle has quickly established herself as a pillar of the Tomarrymort community, whether it be to cheerlead, beta, or simply enable those in our little corner of fandom. Not only that, Cindle consistently writes some of the most amazing fics in a wide range of characters, ships, and tropes -- providing us with delicious smut that often includes an amazing plot twist as the cherry on top!

Long story short, Cindle never ceases to amaze me with her dedication to this fandom, both as a talented author and a supportive friend. Her enthusiasm makes this space a better one!

Cindle, thank you for all that you do! We appreciate you so very much. 💜🛐 To celebrate you, here are a few favourite works of yours chosen by some of your friends!

☪ complete (Tom / Harry) E | 8.7k | Complete | Underage

Everything about this fic is perfect! There are so many yummy angst pieces of young Tom’s sad orphan backstory that are reflected in his (manipulative) interactions with Harry, and it meshes so beautifully with Harry's initial polite treatment of him as they get to know each other. Of course, the 'strangers' aspect speedruns right into 'lovers' once Harry realizes his newly-adopted baby Dark Lord is actually an omega. The ensuing smut is 👏🏼🥵🔥💯😈 !! I go absolutely feral for this dynamic and this fic delivers on every count.

☪ dawn of a death of a dream (Tom / Harry) E | 53.8k | On-Going | No Archive Warnings Apply

This story demonstrates just how patient a young Tom Riddle was when it came to achieving his goals, and I just love how even with Harry being so certain Tom manages to capture him in his own messy web. We get mind games between enemies who often forget they are enemies, and allow their positive feelings for each other to shine through in a bid to trap the other using their intimate relationship. So fun & silly & WAIT WHAT?? 💜💜💜 ( this blurb written by Apples! 🍎)

☪ Everything Green Is Gold (Tom / Harry) E | 21.3k | On-Going | Underage

BABY HARRY BELOVED! Professor Riddle takes first year Harry under his wing and teaches him sooo many things 😏🍆. Cindle really outdid herself on this story -- Tom is super manipulative with everything he does, but he is also so attentive with Harry in the process that even though we know what's happening, we're liable to... forget. Just a little 🤏. A million kudos for such a hot and realistic depiction 🔥!!

☪ in bad faith (Voldemort / Harry, Cedric / Harry) E | 2.9k | Complete | Non-Con, Underage

This fic builds on an already fantastic premise -- an AU of GoF where Voldemort captures Cedric (and Harry!) -- and expands it to include even more angst! The smut is delicious and the plot twist at the end had me going insane. Without spoiling too much, I will say I love the aspects of the original dynamic surrounding Cedric, Harry, and Voldemort that are incorporated into this glorious mindfuck continuation.

☪ i’ve missed you, my boy (Tom / Harry) E | 1.9k | Complete | Underage

One of the BEST plot twists I have ever read! Harry’s complex relationship with Voldemort is done so well in this post-war AU. I don’t want to spoil anything, but the reread value of this fic is incredible -- in the brief span of a few thousand words, we get so much character insight and build up to a truly incredible reveal. It is a delight going back and picking out all the details that lends to just how deeply messed up and multilayered this relationship is!

☪ last rites (Scarcrux / Harry) E | 5.1k | Complete | Major Character Death

Such a HOT fic. Scarcrux knows all of Harry's deepest, darkest secrets -- including just how he likes to get off. Watching Harry's resistance crumble in the face of Tom's careful seduction is one of my favourite dynamics in this ship! And BOTTOM TOM is the whipped cream hat on this perfect PWP parfait. 💜🔥 We deserve more fics like this one, where Tom gets what he wants!

☪ the dark passenger (Al / Harry, Tom / Harry) E | 5k | Complete | Non-Con, Underage

Cindle's next-gen writing is a huge part of why I have any interest at all in those characters, and this story is a great example of why! In this fic, we navigate Al's co-dependent relationship with Harry as his loving father and (though he doesn't know it!) his fated enemy. The merging of Al and Tom's personalities is so well done and elevates both ship aspects of the story, as well as seeing Harry through the lens of Al-with-Tom, in such a unique way!

[ghostly-werewolf]

I'm not used to having fever, and I'm lying here, mildly suffering from 38.5C. Lying on the couch, the lights are on in the other room for some reason, but it's somehow comforting right now; maybe reminiscent of childhood. It's too early for my bedtime, so I'm unable to slip into unconsciousness, and everything hurts just a little bit, so I do what I always do when I'm in pain: think about Cole.

And suddenly I feel such relief I can't help but tear up. It washes over me like a soothing white wave, and the annoying tummy ache disappears. It, and the gnawing void in my belly that's been getting worse over the last few days. You know when you ache to go home despite already being in your room? Can't stop thinking about the future, but can barely imagine anything worth going towards? Or when you feel *wrong*, somehow broken, repulsive and bitter?

It was like all those consuming, sticky, unmanageable feelings became breadcrumbs and someone flicked them off the table in a single motion. It felt so light.

For more than ten years this made up guy is helping me fight demons. Loneliness, doubt, shame, despair. He used to see me through panic attacks caused by undiagnosed hashimoto's and a bunch of vitamin deficiencies. They used to last for hours, usually coupled with unbearable stomach ache, and I religiosity listened to inquisition's party banters to cope. It didn't stop them, but it helped. I also used to re-read the part of Asunder where he kills that girl in the Spire. It was a bit of a guilty pleasure, but it calmed me down like nothing else. I was dreaming about someone caring for me enough to stop the suffering, and the way he was doing it seemed almost... respectable. It's a huge responsibility to take someone's life, after all. And hey, I could even help him by getting stabbed! What a daydream.

It's funny to think about, but I really tried to find reasons for why it wasn't the best course of action when he disapproved of me agreeing with his methods in Inquisition. Gotta understand why suicide is bad because my favourite 2D boy would be upset if I continued thinking that way!.. And imagining him being hurt by my own hurts was so repulsive I speedrunned self-care and emotional regulation like crazy. It wasn't even much of an effort - each time I pictured Cole looking upset by me spiralling into the shadow realm, I just stopped. Poof, humanity restored.

Like, I have a lot of favourite, comfort characters. But they often make me feel... insecure, my mind finds ways to twist the comfort into something poisonous. Or just gets so excited I physically can't do anything. With Cole it's... calm and quiet. When I imagine him saying something nice to me, I can actually believe it. He is a spirit of compassion, after all, he's here to help. So, I finally don't want to run anywhere, and can carefully settle in "the now". Brush those teeth, have that difficult conversation, look at the sky and breathe.

And there's no painful desire for... something. I often want something I see in my favourites, and just as often can't even articulate what it is (to act the same, to have similar bonds or strengths, or to say to myself what I'm saying to them in my thoughts). With Cole, I'm just happy he exists. Nothing else is needed. Someone made him up, a bunch of people brought him to life, and I was able to meet him. How cool is that? Like, I don't even own any merch aside from a bird skull necklace and a couple printed out screenshots. It doesn't sound like a big deal, and it kinda isn't, but to me this... contentment still feels so new and good. The desire to give, not get?

He may not be real, but the idea of compassion is, and he's an embodiment of that idea... So, every time I try to do something good - for myself or for others - I kind of feel like we're doing it together.

Okay, wrapping up this war and peace. I actually managed to get a little hungry while writing this. A good sign, hopefully.

[autisticempathydaemon]

Hi love! A few of my mutuals have put these beautifully done matchups on my dash and I figured I'd give it a whirl! Especially since despite being here for a while I don't really talk to the community members that much!

I'm gonna try to do as many of the questions as possible so warning for the LONG ask! What song are you fixated on at the moment? What lyric or verse, and why? Keeping You Around - Nothing But Thieves, specifically the chorus! Your lips want anyone else / Mine taste like everyone else Oh, that's a tragedy / Try not to pity myself You fall back into yourself / Oh, what a mess we're in I've got more hope of killin' war / Or seein' sound, ah-ah Than I've got of keepin' you around / Of keepin' you around, of keepin' you around Honestly this song reminds me of pre-confession Gavin and that grey area of the Freelancer's relationship with everyone else at that point during the cost.

Do you love gargantuan Youtube video essays, and if so, which is your favorite and why? Yes!!!! I love watching them with my long-distance partner while we do parallel play and stuff on video call. We tend to cycle between Nexpo who does video game/internet horror long video essays (my ABSOLUTE favorite is his cinematic movie that retells the story of Ben Drowns called Ben Drowns Again) and Speedrunning videos like Summoning Salt or SmallAnt

If you had to change your name, what would it be, and why? (In tandem, if you have changed your name, why did you pick that one?) I have changed my name many times! I have ultimately landed on a new first and middle name! Damien Agro, both are in some part inspired by the channel however they mean more to me than the original inspiration. Damien is probably one of my highest kins (i say that like he's not in fact my highest kin) and also the name is the first one to really FEEL like me, especially after I re-labled as a transman instead of nonbinary

What is your favorite of Redacted’s audios, and why? Damien and Huxley's Solstice Comfort. It was the first time Damien really opened up about the Inversion to Huxley in a video as Damien and Huxley's after shocks took place on different days and Damien's was during Huxley's trip back home. I think it was a really important moment for the two of them and hearing it is a little to close to home sometimes.

What Redacted boy holds no appeal to you, and why? Like, not the one you hate but the one who you don’t get the hype for. (I won’t judge, I promise.) Sam, and I think its partially because I was there for his original introduction during the Bright Eyes series, in which he was not the person that Darlin' fell for. I know Erik had personal reasons for ending that series, but a part of me will always feel like it's because Darlin' would never had fallen for someone who said the things Sam had.

Tell me about that one book/movie/tv show you know all the words to. Clue (1985)!!! This movie has been my favorite ever since I was a little kid and I love it now. On days where I'm super overstimulated I really love going back to this movie cause it's familiar! My partner and I quote it on a daily basis

Which Redacted boy are you platonically attracted to? Like- forget dating, which dude do you want to be your best friend? I want to have the t-boy swag that Asher exudes and I want to be his best friend. We'd share transition tips and he can help me cut my hair.

Do you have a go-to thing you ramble about when you’re tired, and if so, what is it? (For example, my boyfriend knows I’m ready to sleep when I start talking about space.) PLANES PLANES ITS EITHER PLANES OR MARINE LIFE I WILL RAMBLE ABOUT SHARKS OR PLANES OR STINGRAYS OR ANYTHING OCEAN OR AIR RELATED

Tell me your go-to gas station and drink combo. Dr. Pepper (I quit energy drinks 2 WHOLE YEARS ago) or Cheerwine, and probably an Almond Joy or a mini Ice Cream

Tell me about your favorite playlist at the moment.  My Dasher playlist and my Damien and Huxley playlist ;w; those lil guys mean so much to me

What’s your guilty pleasure media, and why? Longplays with no commentary, I love video game ambience and I will just put on like a full playthrough of Five Nights at Freddy's just to hear the noises.

And whatever else you think tells me about who you are! I think I've told you a good amount that calls for more questions if you have them! But thank you so much for having this little game going! -Damien

Ooh, an opportunity to pontificate about one of my favorite ships. I know we all love HuxDami, lord knows I do, but if I’ve got a Damien kinnie on my hands, I’ve got to let you know how sweet you’d be with Gavin.

First things first, we love a t4t couple. I think it’s super cute, and it can be so lovely to share a life with someone who has firsthand experience with what you’re going through. That said, I am so incredibly passionate about Gavin and his choosing of his own name and refusal to change how he looks to please anyone as a trans allegory. Thus, a gorgeous t4t couple who has all the transition tips for each other and would have the best thrift-shopping trips for the best fits. It can be so fun but also so harrowing to shop for clothes that feel gender-affirming while also looking good, and I think Gavin would be an absolute master of that, like having your own personal stylist who you also get to kiss.

Second things second, I think y’all could have a really cute, sweet, domestic life together. We get the idea that Gavin drifted a lot before he found a reason to settle into Dahlia, so I think there’s nothing he’d love more than staying home and binging Nexpo videos. I can imagine lots of chill, cozy nights in with him distracting you both while cooking, lazing about the couch in casual, unsexy underwear, him stealing your Cheerwine because he’d never tried it before he met you and he’s addicted to it now.

Song:

You're sitting on the chair/ Wrapped inside a bedsheet/ Playing with your hair/ Watching people on the high street/ If I wished myself a superpower/ I would make this moment last for hours/ If I had my will, time would just stand still/ Wait for me until I find some magic film/ To take a photograph and live inside

One, we love Cody Fry. What a darling. Two, I love how this encapsulated those cozy, loving, domestic nights that I was telling you about. A bittersweet three, this works especially well with Gavin or any of the other d(a)emons who know they won’t have forever with their human lives and would want this, want to preserve those moments as best as possible.

Runner-ups:

Camelopardalis would be a sweet runner-up, because I think he’d really like your vibes. I can see you infodumping about the ocean or watching your long gameplay videos being both relaxing but also fulfilling for him. Lasko, I love as a runner-up because his story also strikes me as a trans allegory and I think you could be a good influence in getting him to quit caffeine. Bless his heart, that boy does not need it.

note: again congratulations on yours and Pickle’s engagement 💕

Read this post and send me an ask if you’d like a match-up of your own! 💌

[measuringbliss]

Spider-Man Read-Through 036: Thanos - The Final Threat (AV Ann 7, MTIO Ann 2)

MASTERPOST

As promised last time, Thanos is here, ready to smash some heroes!

And the Avengers are ready to smash him back!

This batch thoroughly impressed me, I must say.

Adam Warlock is here, and he's determined to fight Thanos, the Mad Titan. He asks the Avengers to help.

He explains that Thanos fell in love with Death and killed a lot of people, including his own mother, which is how you know he's the real deal.

Suddenly, Spider-Man!

There you go.

Back to our regular scheduling!

Thanos has been vanquished before, but he's back, and pissed off since Death abandoned him. So he got all 6 cosmic stones and fused them into a giant one.

Oh wow, we're really speedrunning Infinity War, huh!

Thanos plans to get Death back by destroying every star in the universe, which is completely batshit but also, I kind of love it. Love truly knows no bounds.

While Warlock is catching up everybody on who did what, Pip the Troll (don't ask me who that is) arrives on Sanctuary II and is surprised by Thanos.

Our heroes depart, and each one of them has a moment to collect their thoughts and fears, and it's remarkably well-written.

I didn't expect to actually be invested, but it reminds of the last issue of the Dark Phoenix saga in how grandiose it feels.

Suddenly...!

It's really impressive, actually.

Thor and Iron Man are deployed, and IM surmises that he can take care of the smaller ships, given how powerful Thor is...

And he would be right. How cool!

This is also really cool!

And this immediately what follows. The action sequence is really good, each Avenger has time to shine and it's overall well paced.

Unfortunately for Warlock, it turns out Thanos left his cherished Pip dead just for him to find on the vessel.

Warlock and Mar-Vell go to Thanos's ship first, they're quickly beaten, but then...

Damn, it's really a good issue.

Iron Man shatters the big gem. Thanos is quite enraged and disappears.

I was asking myself the same question, but you know what, the middle panel is incredibly raw and I don't need justification for that.

What I figure is that it's some sort of reincarnation thing à la Dax from DS9.

The dead hero awakens in the Soul Gem, with Gamora and Pip! Aww.

This is such a nice ending, I really love it! I'm sorry for all the pics, but it really was a stellar issue.

In the following issue, Peter is called in his dreams by Avenger Moon-Dragon, who makes him watch Infinity War and Endgame in 4K Ultra HD before DVDs even existed.

Except the happy end isn't quite there yet.

I gladly objectify the waking man. Well, he's already an object, but I'm looking respectfully.

In space, some stars discuss how it's totally fate that Peter and Ben Grimm aka The Thing fight together to save the universe. Huh-huh.

Spidey decides that he's going to need help, and naturally comes to the Fantastic Four. There, he finds Ben who just so happens to have a space shuttle ready for take off. And off they go!

I like how depressed Peter is. We rarely see him so quiet. It helps to convey the gravity of the situation.

The two heroes aren't doing too bad, but they eventually get knocked out.

Ooooooooh! Oh :( Wasn't it enough to give him peace?

Good for you, Spidey.

However, he changes his minds and successfully frees the Avengers, which I like because it's more of a Spidey thing. I couldn't see him quite fighting Thanos head-on.

Ah, I see again some of the brilliance of the previous issue.

Spidey successfully frees Adam Warlock from the globe that contained him, and the latter hero quickly annihilates Thanos. His crew surrenders immediately.

Aww.

Damn was that a great double issue. I largely preferred the first one, but the second one was fun too, wow.

[fractualized]

What is your thought on Mind Bomb by Zdarsky?

Trepidation? 😅

Like a year ago I was feeling positive, having enjoyed Zdarky's writing in The Knight and then that preview of the Zur storyline in "I Am A Gun." TMWSL was in early days, and it was fun to make connections and wonder about how it might all tie together.

But after that, Bruce getting zapped to an AU and Gotham War felt like speedruns without real emotional payoff. When Zdarsky brought in Joker again, it was with Darwin Halliday, who apparently created not only Joker himself but three of them, not only calling back to a Black Label story I was praying DC would leave behind, but bringing back three Jokers when we already had a separate title with two Jokers. The idea that different DC titles could tie together in some cool revelations became laughable once I realized the timeline issues were getting worse and worse, and Gotham War only affirmed that continuity is a fool's errand. When I read/hear writers assert that they definitely totally collaborated on an event that was rife with inconsistencies, I just feel stupid expecting a payoff.

Which is all to say I'm reserving judgment until I see how Mindbomb ends— but really I'm waiting to see how Joker: Year One goes. It's not that I think that the first two Mindbomb issues are bad. But they are… kind of rote? They hit many batjokes beats, to be sure, but I think I'm too comics-tired to really enjoy them. The only thing I've found really interesting is Joker's seemingly suicidal behavior, and I assume we're going to get more into his mindset in the J:YO storyline.

Where apparently we've got some version of three Jokers waiting. And I'm already expecting that it's not going to tie into Joker's mindset in TMWSL, which I guess is just as well after how that ended.

But maybe I'm wrong! I was wrong about Deadly Duo, after all. Maybe Zdarsky will get back to the storybuilding that pulled me in before. Maybe whatever his 3J take turns out to be won't make me want to tear my hair out. Only way to know is to wait and see.

Something I've been thinking about is how I would probably react differently to some comics if I read them five, ten years from now. With older comics, I'm jumping around the past, reading stories in isolation, already knowing what the future holds. Definitely more entertaining than trying to get a full picture of the present and seeing a mess. 😬

[violetdisasterzone]

STRIKE THE ZITHER BY JOAN HE

FULL REVIEW - CONTAINS SPOILERS - CROSS POSTED ON GOODREADS RATING: 1/5 I had heard about this book well before release and was really looking forward to reading it. I don't like leaving such negative reviews, and I never have before, but for this I'm making an exception. To say I'm disappointed would be the understatement of the century. The writing was not good, the plot was impossible to follow, the characterizations were horrible - at times I found myself genuinely questioning how on this was published, much less how so many people were finding this good.

The premise itself was great -- a gender-bent retelling of Chinese history, a brilliant strategist caught in a tough spot, surrounded by enemies and forced decide what is worth sacrificing in order to survive -- what's not to like? Yet this potential was ruined practically from the beginning. We immediately jump straight into the action, and while normally that's how I like my stories to start, in this case it made the plot near-incomprehensible unless you were already familiar with the actual historical events the book is based on. This immediate jump to the plot also meant we were given no time to get to know the characters. Zephyr herself certainly fills the arrogant, witty strategist archetype. She fills it so well that she is nothing else - we know her only as full of herself, calling everyone 'peasants' every other line, and over-confident to the point that we are supposed to go along with anything she does, no matter the consequences, because it's all part of her master plan. We were barely introduced to the other generals or to Xin Ren, the lordess we are supposed to believe is deserving of Zephyr's fierce loyalty, before we leave them behind entirely. Why are we fighting this war at all? Why should we care about it? What is the point of any of this? All of these, of course, remain unanswered.

Here's a summarized list of illogical plot points that follow: -- Miasma's quick acceptance of Zephyr's sudden and dramatic change in loyalties, to the point that she trusts her word over the word of ALL of her own trusted advisors -- Zephyr has a sister and a tragic backstory now! -- Cicada being convinced to hear Zephyr out from only her saying "I never betrayed my lordess" -- The whole relationship with Crow felt like an imitation speedrun of every YA enemies to lovers trope. I did not feel anything between them at any point, and Zephyr's own contradictory thoughts and actions regarding him did not help to improve her characterization in the slightest. The way she spoke of Ren was 10x more romantic and emotional than any interaction we had with Crow.

And then, the big plot twist: Zephyr was never Qilin at all, and is in fact a god who was sentenced to being human for farting over the edge of the sky and causing a famine. Are you serious? Aside from being utterly ridiculous, this plot twist came out of nowhere, and entirely shifts the worldview we're supposed to have. The worldbuilding in this was already a bit confusing - it's a normal world, except they have qì, the extent/powers of which are never explained. But now Zephyr - oh by the way, she has 2 "real" sisters now, 1 of which is present for about 5 pages yet is spoken about as if she's a fully established character the one other time she'll be mentioned - is a god, and the Masked Mother is now the true antagonist, though her motivations aside from not liking Zephyr or her involvement in the human realm remain unexplained. The extent of the Masked Mother's intentions seem to be dragging Zephyr back to her domain and likely punishing her, which would potentially cause Xin Ren to loose the war - and, so what, exactly? Sure, Miasma is a crazy overlord and we don't want her in power, but I wouldn't exactly be emotionally devasted if Xin Ren's army didn't win, because we were given no reason to be.

For the rest of the book after the body swap, Zephyr lives as Lotus - a plot point which I absolutely hated. Did she really think hiding it from Ren was doing her a service? Did she really think it was completely okay for her to "become Lotus"? I don't think she once expressed actual regret for stealing her body, even after she was exposed to Tourmaline and Cloud. This entire part of the book was just a mess. New plot points were constantly thrown at us, and we were surrounded by characters that were portrayed as though we already knew them well, when in reality they had had maybe a page or two of presence 200 pages earlier. The last 30% of the book dragged on; every scene seemed either totally meaningless or so packed with action that I didn't even know how we got there. Many times throughout the book I found myself flipping back a page or a scene, wondering where I had missed the transition to the new content or the context for what was going on - but no, it just hadn't been written.

Ren's betrothal to her cousin was another odd detail that was completely irrelevant, the banquet and subsequent coup could have been carried out exactly as planned without that, and her ignorance about the whole affair did not increase my confidence in her as lordess. Not that that should have been necessary, considering we had been fighting (and watched Zephyr literally gave up godhood) for her for the last 300 pages.

And at the very end, we learn that Cicada wasn't actually on our side and has a whole plan of her own, which involves working with and, assumedly, betraying Miasma.

Here's some other more arbitrary complaints I have: -- What's with the names? Half our characters have Chinese names, and half of them go by English names? Reading "November" and "Dewdrop" in the middle of talking about Chinese war tactics really pulls you out of the setting. Maybe there's context I'm missing but where did these names come from? Why aren't we just calling them by their Chinese names? -- The fluctuation in writing style gave me whiplash. Half the time we were meant to take it fully seriously, and half the time it read like young YA in its immaturity. I knew this was YA when I picked it up, and there is nothing wrong with that tone. But the back and forth between tones just added to the disorientation. -- Plot twists aren't supposed to confuse the reader. Shock, yes, but there's a big difference between, ‘Oh my god, I totally didn't see that coming' and 'What is going on? Where did that come from?' There were so many twists in this, right up to the end, but none of them felt like they were actually pushing the plot forward, just twisting it up - literally. I think this book would have been greatly improved if it was longer and written as an adult novel. Given space to explore and define the worldbuilding, time to get to know our characters and what makes them them, and time for us to understand what is worth fighting for and why in this world, I really think this novel had a chance to live up to what I thought it would be. A more mature novel would allow the deeper themes to be explored, and the lack of more ridiculous plot lines and painful-to-watch choices made by our teenage protagonist would make both immersion into and affection for the world much more within reach. I don't know if I'll read the sequel to this - I'm honestly surprised I got through this one. I was just so excited to see Chinese historical fantasy represented in a Western YA novel that I couldn't give up. Overall, I'm just really disappointed.

[onebillionghosts]

okay since i finally beat side order half a year late in the span of a day, here is my personal thoughts on it, and what i liked vs what i didnt like:

it was. okay. but nowhere near as good as octo expansion. my main problem is that i feel like they didnt do enough with it. like the story is so minimal. it's like…. that's it?

i was hoping they would go more into eight's history and trauma and all that. and they did reference that a little bit, but only ever in hints. but then again i havent beaten the post-game yet so i could be wrong

also i kept hearing people talking about how hard it was, but for me personally it didnt feel nearly as hard as octo expansion but maybe thats just because ive been playing splatoon for a long time so i've gotten better at the game since i played octo expansion

i did love the visuals though. so pretty. and ngl one of my fave parts of the game was asynchronous rondo. because it seems that that boss is supposed to represent tartar. and also its design and song that plays during it was SO fucking cool

i just think the game has a great concept, but the story did not deliver. also the gameplay is too repetitive after a while. maybe im just biased and have too high expectations though because octo expansion is my favorite game of all time (yes im counting it as its own standalone game because it basically is)

at least this made me appreciate splatoon 3's main campaign better. because at least that one had fun story, lore, and banter, even if the ending and villain being a blatant octo expansion ripoff was disappointing

what i liked about the game: -the visuals -the concept -the designs of the enemies and bosses (especially asynchronous rondo; i love the callbacks to tartar in its design. it feels like the closest we're getting in the game to addressing 8's trauma) -def1sh finally appearing in the games wahoo -pearldrone is so cute -pearl and marina flirting lol -is fun the first few tries, before it starts to get boring and repetitive

what i disliked about the game: -poor writing, not enough story -it just feels so… hollow. there isn't the emotional investment in it that was present in octo expansion -wished it delved more into 8's and marina's psychology instead of only doing that in hints and implications -while there is some funny and unique dialougue like in octo expansion, it feels like there isn't that much. i kinda ended up skipping through most conversations because they were pretty bland, and weren't nearly as entertaining as the banter in octo expansion -it kinds gets really repetitive and boring after a while, especially compared to octo expansion where every level is super different. it needs more level variety and types of objectives imo -the ones where you gotta kill all those sunfish things are WAY too easy. all you need to do is speedrun getting enough points for a special and then you can just one-shot them all lol -i wish there were more bosses, because going against the same ones over and over gets tedious really quickly -why isn't there an infinite mode? i want to challenge myself to see how high a floor i can get :{ -wish it went more into dedf1sh, because it feels like they're just kinda. there. doing nothing. for the entire story. kinda wasted potential. you could remove them from the game and nothing would change -when will tartar (my fave character) return from the war it's one of my fave villains of all time oughhh.. the closest we got was asynchronous rondo. and also the main villain which is yet again an obvious tartar expy

[msfbgraves]

Capitalism speedrun

I have nothing to go on to support my opinion but some everyday observations and yet. I feel like capitalism is somehow accelerating? Ever more profit for ever fewer inhumanly rich people made by ever fewer megacorporations who have already colonised the entire world. The 'products' and so called 'services' they put out are being worse sometimes even after they have been sold. If indeed they have been sold and not merely leased. Newspapers are also owned by corporations, so whether or not they report any resembling facts can only be ascertained by extensive fact checking and or compairing of sources. The Internet is a group of maybe six social mediums being mined for data to be put into machines to completely replace the cost of human labour. Regardless whether or not anyone wants this. They control the entire supply of raw materials on the market, so you'll take what they give you and you'll like it. They'll decide of you're exploitable enough to be allowed survival, and if not, you can go and die. Those exploitable enough are so overworked or underpaid, that they won't have any initiative, ideally, to make anything or do anything outside of this system of exploitation. And they're not hiding it. "Cereal for dinner!"

I know capitalism as we know it has always run on extraction on a planet that is built for feeding things back into it. Anyone with the slightest bit of interest can see that since the planet's resources are finite when not replenished, at some point there is nothing left to mine. Similarly, if you mistreat peole until they die, you won't even have the workers left to build your robots. They've been trying to combat this problem with AI, because seemingly, a planet full of dead forests and dead people save your few slaves is a nice place to live on. "Ah, no," they cry. "But we'll simply colonise Mars next!"

I'm not sure whether they think that this will fly unopposed, or that they're trying to extract the last riches until in 20 years all the boomers will be dead and those left can rebuild another system on the ashes of this one.

Because they can't be trying to keep the status quo alive. If they were, they would have had to start feeding back into the system. Whether that is by being decent to people or renurturing soil. The boomers are selling their very own grandkids because even with their money, your flooded Malibu beach house is not a nice place to stay.

So far, most people angry with this have been doing what they're supposed to do, namely vote for fascism. But that'll only bring war and more destruction. But so far, every act of human cruelty and natural disaster has only ever led to more cruelty. A global pandemic? Let's jack up the price of healthcare! And attack Ukraine, disrupting global food security. Which, you know, is an excellent incentive to raise the price of food! Don't talk about petrol/gasoline, because that's been at a record high so long that people don't even blink anymore. So what if they simply don't heat their house in winter? And while the world is busy with Ukraine, let's play "genocide, what genocide?" again; the last time we did that was 1994. We're due another round, yeah?

It's not even for the money or the power anymore. They must be partying on the vulcano for the thrill of it. Do they want to see the world burn? Are those shareholders this dead inside?

Because they're being mean for the sake of it even if it is actively detrimental to them. The WGA strike, with $500 mln in losses, only not to have to pay the $47 mln originally demanded. They're scraping Tumblr for data because they've been everywhere else even though everyone can tell you nobody wants to get a Goncharov synopsis when they're looking for Martin Scorcese's work. But it hasn't been exploited yet and so it must be.

They've spent the last two decades telling us that evil is really complex actually, and rooted in trauma. Those cartoon villains were there to illustrate the concept to elementary schoolers, but real villainy is actually almost heroic.

No it isn't. It is exactly as shortsighted and as banal as it has always been depicted, or that's we're all experiencing in real time.

I'm so scared. I am as scared of being crushed by capitalism as being crushed by the inevitable fallout of this.

If it all blows up within the next five years, where are all these billionaires even going to go? Cuba? Africa? If the banks topple there won't even be any money anymore. Do they really not think about that? Is it fun living in underground bunkers? Or don't they think that far...?

[kae-karo]

Biggest hype moment in the new livestream?

ASLKDFJLJSDFLKJ okay i'm using this as an excuse to give the play by play of the stream that nobody asked for thank u nadej here we GO

tl;dr: biggest hype is for the potentially unsettling nature of sumeru's story + hopefully more lore!

half a second into the trailer: irminsul tree mention !!!!! i am DEEPLY in love with how eerie this is all set up, with very wholesome commentary placed over very unsettling imagery/music. i hope that's the exact vibe we're getting in sumeru generally - i feel like mond had an upbeat vibe and kept it through the whole mond story, liyue had an elegant but historical vibe, inazuma was troubled but up front about it in the way it was presented...i'm legit hoping we're gonna get a 'there is no war in ba sing se' feeling through sumeru

i'm intrigued by the sages "finding" the newly born dendro archon and what that might entail lore-wise - i'm inclined to mistrust, based on what we've seen so far, but if that gives us more lore about how archons are chosen/decided/etc that could be very interesting too

i'm already a big fan of the environments they've showcased, they feel unique and hopefully will manifest that way in-game. i'm also hyped for the new charas - collei has a special place in my heart lmao but tighnari and dori both look cute as well. ultimatley i'm more hyped for cyno, dehya, and alhaitham as characters but i'm patient :) lmao

i am VERY intrigued by the prospect of the akasha terminal both from a lore perspective and worldbuilding perspective. i suspect it has some nefarious intentions and implications and i am VERY hyped to see it in action >:}

me, screaming quietly at "mark my words, our god shall return" (idk who exactly said it in the trailer but i am 👀👀 greater lord rukkhadevata perhaps??)

honestly what's intriguing me most so far is the glitchy effects...i was really caught off guard by them during the end of the inazuma archon quests post-signora fight, so to see that again....i am hype for possible implications there lmao

and!!! i'm very intrigued by the concept behind the withering and the implications of it being caused by something below the earth. my brain is spinning with possible theories lmaoooo

i'm also already a bit more than just a bit suspicious of the akademiya specifically cause they seem to be devout followers of rukkhadevata - are they possibly the ones suggesting that "their god shall return"? or refusing to recognize the authority of kusanali? also thrilled to see that rukkhadevata was a woman, if the rumors/lore abt the tsaritsa being in love with the prev dendro archon are true lmao

i'm really pleased to hear the devs say that they feel that this is a new stage in the journey, both for them and for us - i'm hoping this will start to really crack open some of the big lore questions and speculations that've only been hinted at in the past

i've mostly steered clear of how all the new reactions work not out of any disinterest but bc i think i'll understand better by seeing it in action and working on it myself lmao but i think it'll be interesting for sure

the subject of the little forest spirits is actually pretty interesting? it reminds me a bit of the koroks in botw, i'm interested to see how they function in the environment of sumeru and the story itself

unrelated to the events but it bears mentioning: i absolutely ADORE the efforts of the set designers??? like, they don't have to go that hard in building out the sets for the program but it's very wholesome and adorable that they do and i am very appreciative of the efforts involved

OH i am also hyped for the addition of so many artifacts to the mystic offering list!! now i can speedrun blizzard strayer and viridescent disappointment :) lmao

okay i THINK that's the main stuff lmaoooo tyty for asking nadej !!!!! 💜🙏

[imuybemovoko]

I die inside while dissecting Jesus music, part 4

I don't understand how they can justify still making more of this stuff. It's not like they say anything new...

Anyway, here's another round of psychic damage I could avoid by doing literally anything else, including healthy things like sleeping or finding a better job and a fucking therapist, but here I am anyway :^)

Since I mostly just Deadpool my way through these, I might come across as very fuckin sarcastic in a way I don't really intend (at least not this time. I might've in the past, I forget because it's been at least months since I did this to myself.) So I'd like to clarify this time that I don't mean this as a dig against Christianity as a whole, nor do I presume to analyze the way every Christian approaches this song (unless I do a Bethel one, then I'm going to feel pretty free to assume only the unhinged ones engage with it since that's my experience). Bethel aside, I'm looking into the way the people I used to run with interpreted these songs and how fucked those interpretations get. They do worse shit with the doctrines in general than many do, and music is not only a useful way to analyze it, but in evangelical and fundie circles literally functions as a way to speedrun the practice of inducing a panic attack in everyone present and marketing that as the presence of God. In the past I've kinda just been venting with these, but I can probably shoehorn it into some kind of useful analysis of a specific fucked up subculture if I'm not lazy about it.

Today, no guarantees on consistency in that. I should be asleep instead of writing this at the moment.

Anyway.

CW: extensive discussion of toxic religion, also I manage to bring up conversion therapy somehow.

Today's victim source of absurd suffering that I could've avoided: None But Jesus, by Hillsong United featuring Brooke Ligertwood.

That's right motherfuckers, we're getting into Hillsong.

I chose that one because I liked it when I was still cringe enough to unironically enjoy this kind of music. I don't think that's exactly what they mean by "kill your darlings", but fuck you, language changes, I can death of the author a phrase thank you very much >:(

alright. Strap in.

The particular version I linked above is an acoustic version of a song that maybe they do in other ways? I'm not aware of them if they exist, at least not anymore. Not being able to remember shit like this off the top of my head is kind of nice. I'll be getting lyrics from Genius like I typically do.

The format is a pretty standard verse-chorus-verse-chorus-bridge-chorus kind of situation, with a prechorus that's different each time it shows up. Hard to go wrong with that format.

Nah, they find other ways.

First verse:

In the quiet, in the stillness I know that You are God In the secret of Your Presence I know there I am restored

I think the stillness here is a reference to an incident from 1 Kings 19 where the prophet Elijah fucks off into the mountains, where God hits his favorite mountain with a downright apocalyptic wind followed by an earthquake, and then a fire?!, and Elijah finds God's presence in none of that but rather in the calm afterwards.

And then for a reason I forget, God says "bro what the fuck are you doing on this mountain?" I remember Elijah being a bit of what God would call a dramatic lil shit and I would probably call "fuckin relatable, I mean holy shit the guy goes through a new life-altering trauma a week in his role as prophet, no shit he wants to disappear into the hills and never come back sometimes, I feel that way and I haven't seen a few dozen murders, several wars, visions of an apocalypse that I'm supposed to share, and to crown it all, some eldritch horror with nineteen wings and a crust of eyes all over its body". It's not super relevant to the song. The reference to 1 Kings that I pick out of this might be a bit less than conscious anyway, the idea of God's presence as a voice in stillness is pervasive. Maybe the singer is just referring to just like reminding herself of her faith during quiet times, an incredibly common practice across probably all branches of Christianity including the sane ones, and also common in quite a few non-Christian faiths. I didn't need either of these paragraphs, but I have them anyway because fuck it.

Anyway I don't know why she would call the Christian God's presence a secret in the second half of this verse, they don't treat their ideas around God's presence being healing/cleansing/etc. as any kind of secret. Maybe there's context I'm forgetting or maybe it's a neat way of referring to it for the song because it does carry over some of that quiet place vibe. In either case, she's saying that this presence is restorative.

Nothing super fucky just from this verse, which is actually unlike the deathculty vibe from Even So Come, the pretty surface-level gaslighting of Gracefully Broken, or the "Jesus is my boyfriend and dying for him would make me cum" vibe of Even Unto Death. This one is honestly just "God has been a positive influence in my life", the song. Where this gets fucked up in the churches that weaponize this stuff is where just how intense they are about original sin and making people feel like absolute piles of shit for existing comes into play. I spent a couple of years in a Pentecostal campus ministry cult (AoG affiliated, if you know what that is I'm terribly sorry) and a couple of years involved with Calvary Chapel and in both cases, "restored" here is going to carry connotations of having any shot at being a moral person, being "right with god", being plucked out of eternal suffering despite having no fucking right to that, etc. We didn't tend to do a lot of interpretive work on songs, but this is the role it would play.

First prechorus:

When You call I won't refuse Each new day, again I'll choose

Sane Christians are probably going with something a bit resembling reciprocity here. Like a "God is a stabilizing influence on my life and sometimes I do things for him because I'm thankful" kind of situation. The source material they're drawing from frames this as an obligation, so they do that incredibly often as well, and I'm actually not aware of Christians who don't, but I'm sure there's a lot of healthier approaches than what I was learning from 2015 to 2019. Because in fuckin Chi Alpha or Calvary Chapel, this becomes "Trying to have my own agency is Satanic and I have to fight it every day, I'm a lifeless hole empty vessel for you God".

Yes, that's a reference. Dorian Electra is cool.

The chorus is a touch weirder just on the surface of it:

There is no one else for me None but Jesus Crucified to set me free Now I live to bring Him praise

It's giving "Jesus is my boyfriend" meets, in the last line, "Agency? Who's she?". I assume sane people think, "yeah, there's only one son of god, I only worship one god and he did do the whole sacrificing himself for my sins thing, I really like him" or something. In my series of cults, they take this something more along the lines of "hello yes i am either addicted to Jesus and my sole purpose is singing neat little songs to him and yelling about him in places where no one wants that and abusing children so they do the same thing, or i am not only deeply evil but not trying to do the impossible task of becoming not evil". These people literally want to fucking delete their own agency and be empty vessels for God. One guy spent like 20 minutes telling me about how he wants to rely on God rather than the mechanisms of his own fucking body to breathe and held that up as an example of what we should be. These lyrics are a little "agency? who's she?", but holy FUCK does what's inherent to them pale in comparison to how they had me trying to live. These people also lean incredibly hard into sin as a thing that makes a person thoroughly fucking evil. The last time I ever spoke to the pastor at the Calvary Chapel I subjected myself to, he pointed to his grandchild, a literal baby, touching a stove when he said not to as a sign that this kid is evil to their core and not as a sign that they didn't know what "don't touch that, you'll burn yourself, it's hot" means at this early point in their life. Every fucking thing you do is, to these people, a sign that you're infinitely bad and deserve to die and then burn forever.

Oh, and being queer in any way? Very much worse.

I need ✨therapy✨.

Verse 2 is also a touch hard to divorce from the insanity, but I can imagine it being, in the right hands, about as ambiently toxic as it's unavoidable for Christianity and its authority-based language structures to be.

In the chaos, in confusion I know You're sovereign still In the moment of my weakness You give me grace to do Your Will

First half is more of the normal actually stuff from the first verse, just like... the singer reads God as a stabilizing influence on her life. "Sovereign" here is an example of that ambient authoritarian language, which means culty people will do insane shit with it and sane Christians will just say that God is... I don't know the exact takes, but like an underlying force of the universe and has a good plan or something. And what is life except a parade of chaos and confusion punctuated with some nice chill moments? It's just how we exist, and that's neither here nor there, but it can be nice to feel like you have a stabilizing influence.

The second half is where this not only gets a bunch worse in culty settings, but becomes a little harder to avoid problems from, the latter mostly because I honestly fail to see how this doesn't end up becoming shaming. Like "God gives you everything you need to avoid fucking up, so why do you, asshole?" is a thing that I don't see being absent from this bit in any circumstance at all, it's just that sane Christians will go "eh, learning experiences amirite????!!1?" and cultists will go "we are all living proof that every single human deserves D̸̟̫̙̮̝̃̍̊̊̊̾͋̎̒É̶̛͚͓͙͎̈́̓͋̎̽͑͌̂̈́̏̕͠͠A̶̹̳͚̰͓̰̾͑̎́͌̀̄͋͜T̴̛̪͓̹̲̋͋̌̍̅̒̓H̴̟̳͈̔̈́̃̆͛̈́̏̕͝͝ for literally just existing, go forth and hate yourself until you're better".

Oh, also, conversion therapy rests on this premise. Christian bigots typically say "God says don't be gay or trans, and God can change you, so change, [REDACTED]".

That is, it rests on strained, uncharitable interpretations mixed with hate and a copious amount of outright bullshit.

Second prechorus:

So, when You call I won't delay This my song through all my days

First bit feels a bit ambiently authoritarian, just "God says frog, we jump" vibes that can't really get out of it there. Answering God's call is important to the singer and they express it in a way that's like "oh, ok yeah sure just hand the bastard a weapon why don't you". Christianity has that as a structural problem. Second line is a lifelong commitment. Nothing too weird there, I mean, people do that with other humans too, sometimes for worse reasons than someone who has a positive experience with a god might have for saying this.

Or, as AoG or Calvary types would put it, "Hesitating to obey God's commands is a sin and God might kill you for it." Because they're at best not approaching the faith in a healthy way and at worst, weaponizing the ever-loving FUCK out of it.

Time for the bridge.

Bridge is just this, twice:

All my delight is in You, Lord All of my hope, all of my strength All my delight is in You, Lord Forevermore

This is very "all your eggs in one basket" for me, but hey, I'm not a monotheist, plus the god she's referring to here didn't deliver for me. A sane person's approach to this might be something like "God is the source of these good things and also I like him a lot".

AoG and Calvary both told me:

that unbelievers are incapable of happiness (bullshit, but scary)

that people, even Christians, who don't yeet themselves as deeply as possible into God are pushed around by every idea that gets thrown their way and also probably fully want to die as soon as life gets fonky

that people who aren't the right kind of Christian who say they have any hope are either bullshitting, deceived by Satan into thinking that, or both

that people who enjoy things other than God are idolaters

and probably a lot of other similar shit that I'll uncover in therapy sessions one day

being God's literal puppet slave forever will be like cumming for all of eternity actually (of course they're far too prudish to actually use those words, it would've been funny in retrospect though)

or, in other words, they take all these ideas in the worst direction possible, of course.

I should sleep now. And probably also find a therapist.

Deste hságâneutá, sa dorá se hajse dlázo, se termíneko...