#partly why I reread this stuff

[luceafarul-de-dimineata]

I just got done re-reading the main story of whb and I have have come to the realisation that everything happend in only a week at max.

Everything between Chapter 1 and Chapter 2 happened in the same day. Then we fell asleep due to Mammon's curse song thing and we were unconcious for an undisclosed amount of time (though I doupt it was more than a day).

Then Chapter 3 and Chapter 4 happen one after another without any stop in the middle, we get kidnapped by the Hades crew and we go to Hades (again, undisclosed amount of time, but still, probably no more than a day at most)

In Chapter 5 we have some rest time, but still not a lot since Leviathan really wants to go find the original seed of the tree of knowledge, so, again, I doupt that someone like Leviathan would just sit around doing jack shit while hell was under threat and he thinks he found a solution.

So, at most, the whole story so far happened in about a week. It honestly feels like there should be more, but I can't find any indicators suggesting time passing that aren't the ones I mentioned above.

We have been told repeatedly that time in Hell and time on Earth are different, which kind of makes this whole thing even more terrifing. From Minhyeok's perpective we've been gone for weeks or months, but from our POV we just got here.

When I first read Bimet's H-scene, I thought him saying "you're loose" was kind of a haha pun because MC fucked a lot of demons before him, but if we go off the timeline of events, we got done fucking Mammon like 3 hours ago.

I am very confused and I am putting this here to kind of see if anyone in this community can enlighten me.

Admitadly, it would be very funny if everything happened in one day. We should keep this going, cause I want to see how much stuff they can fit in so little time.

[yellowocaballero]

hi I am one of the people who read your no chip au (and serendipitously reread it pretty recently). I am delighted by the prospect of getting to read more (even better??), you have such a wonderful ability to write characters in any setting who suck so badly in ways that are so so interesting. obi-wan had a father figure it was cody that's just what dads are like.

THANK YOU SO MUCH I love hearing that I'm good at writing people who suck interestingly. That is genuinely usually my main goal. I do it on purpose.

There's a lot of reasons why. I think partly just because the stuff I write is usually character-focused, which means that characters need to be the source of drama and conflict, which means that a story is at its most Dramatic if a character is falling off the bad decisions tree and hitting every branch on the way down. Dysfunction is just more interesting than function. But that doesn't mean they have to suck, right? Evil isn't necessarily more interesting than goodness. I find that the reasons why I chase goodness are often far more complex than the reasons I hurt people. Chasing goodness is arduous, intensive, exhausting, and time-consuming work. We need strong motivation to do it.

But I think that's why. I do think of the guys as people who suck, interestingly. But the people I write I think are, by the end of the story, chasing goodness. The path towards chasing goodness is hard. I think we (Tumblr, especially) talks about goodness as if it's an innate desire, that we are naturally good and that evil is a deviation from our natural state of goodness, and that's probably true in an evolutionary sense. Babies are altruistic. But I think that thinking of good as something that good people do can leave us complacent to the great harm that good people are capable of. Goodness is a path you have to find for yourself, and we tend to believe we've found it before we actually do.

OBI-WAN HAD A FATHER FIGURE IT WAS CODY THAT'S JUST WHAT DADS ARE LIKE.

I spent too much verbiage on this post to start dissecting Cody here because that is such a fucking long post - it is, maybe, a 9 story and 200k+ word post [I said 100k before but I was very wrong] - but it's absolutely a story about the ruin love makes of a life. I have, however, been informed that Cody is what East Asian parents are like, specifically. If it's fathers specifically, it's because Cody is an authoritarian. He does great and immense amounts of harm to pretty much everybody throughout the story, and he does it because he loves you, and he does it because he is a fascist, and he does it because being a fascist is the only way he knows how to love you.

I find that (hyperspecifically?) fanfic has issues treating both parents and children as fully realized people and characters simultaneously. This is because fanfic authors tend to skew younger, lmfao, but also because the wish fulfillment tropes used tend to flatten people. Either the parent is an embodiment of our wish fulfillment works for the great parent or a cartoonish devil of evil parenting specifically set up so the perfect parent can swoop in (I fucking hate Batfam fics.), or the child is an accessory for the elementary school teacher/single dad meet-cute trope. Either way, the 'right' parenting is not flawed, and parents are rarely people. And forget about having, like, fascists, be people.

I'll always be sympathetic to Cody. He was a victim of fascism, and his only true desire was to save his family from the pain they were entrenched in. He made hard decisions because he prioritized his family being alive and safe, at the expense of his own soul. I can't blame him for what he did. He had lost so many people and he couldn't stand to lose any more.

And what he did made him actually the supervillain of the entire story, caused every conflict, and hurt everyone around him. It's a sincerely messy situation with a sincerely messy person, and it's a tragedy that would not have happened if Cody's life had been kinder.

I hope that people have empathy for the ways in which Cody and Ben are messed up. There's pain and love in equal measures there.

Also this is both a play on Luke and Vader's relationship (obviously - the Q of what do you do when you have a supervillain dad?) AND a deconstruction of the cutsey family funtimes Dad!Vader and Cutiepie!Luke stories because, I also have them as a guilty pleasure don't get me wrong, having an actual supervillain for a dad CANNOT ACTUALLY BE FUN and no matter how nice and kind he is to you, everything surrounding him has to be SO DAMAGING -

[vxxcte]

TRUMP & LILIUM stageplay + manga spoilers !

hot take!! someone on twt asked me my thoughts on Klauss’s state at the end of the play/manga but I HATE splitting stuff I have to say into different replies like twt or tiktok and this is kinda long SO here we go

Why I think it would be better if Klauss were dead:

To preface, I want to say that this opinion is partly formed because I had SEVERAL misconceptions about the events of the manga for a WHILE.

The manga wasn’t fully translated on the manga websites when I was reading it so I had to read the last 8ish chapters on tiktok. And sometime during constantly switching between the manga panel slides and the translation slides (no shade to the translator who is infact carrying the fandom), I missed some points and misunderstood some others.

One such point is: in the manga, as opposed to the play (which I watched much later), it was not as clear to me that Klauss is supposedly still alive.

When I watched the play I was so surprised by Klauss’s remaining alive, I thought the manga had not stayed faithful to the play.

So what I thought happened here at first was something like, only one immortal HAS to be around at any given time, so Klauss was able to die because Sophie was now immortal, or Sophie is TRUMP now. And given the way that Klauss said, “I finally reached the stars with my own hands,” I also thought that he meant he could finally die.

I felt that the intent behind this statement being, ‘I can finally die,’ gave the ‘I finally reached the stars’ moment a better meaning than the ‘I found a remnant of you and made it immortal’ part.

This is especially because part of the reason Allen affected Klauss so much was because Allen was aware of how awful immortality can be. I thought Klauss said he was able to reach the stars (like Allen wanted to) because now he was able to die.

When Allen always talked about having the stars, and in contrast when Klauss said in the forest that he doesn’t think his hands can ever reach them, it came off to me as a sort of ��Allen is able to think like this and be so hopeful and whimsical because he has not been around for as long as Klauss has, and he has this security in knowing that he will not be stuck here forever.’

So kind of, reaching the stars = having the freedom to die. AND klauss can’t reach the stars = klauss can’t die.

This is why I thought, when Klauss said at the end, “I finally reached the stars with my own hands,” that he was able to die, and I thought that this gives that whole thing a better meaning, rather than just attempting to end his Allen-centric loneliness by immortalizing Sophie.

Okay now this one is not as strong of a point but going off how it’s ‘I can finally die,’ VS ‘I found a remnant of you and made it immortal’, it also just doesn’t seem as in line with what Allen would have wanted.

But maybe that was the point actually… now that I’m writing this out, it is pretty good how in the end, in the name of Allen, Klauss ended up doing to Sophie what Allen would never have wanted for himself, as if this was his opportunity to fix what he wasn’t able to do before. It makes it a lot sadder this way. I shouldn’t have doubted u suemitsu oopsies

My other reason for preferring Klauss died would be because it makes Sophie’s character more tragic. He’s spending 3000+ years looking for this guy thinking he has some kind of hope to end being alive for so long, but imagine this guy is not around anymore? then he’s just spent several millennia on a wild goose chase for hope.

And the OTHER other reason is just Sophie is my favorite because of his insane aura and he’d have MUCH more aura if he really was TRUMP. Just reread the last couple of scenes in the manga while imagining he’s TRUMP the aura go crazy..

But yeah!! I think that it just made a little more sense if Klauss had died at the end, because of how they set up that line + the contrasts between him and Allen to come off, and also just the whole point of him saying he reached the stars at all. and also sophie 🐐🙏

I did not mean for this to get this long tbh but yesterday I wrote a little essay for my creative writing class on Ul and tried to keep it short and it was still a page longer than allowed. so uh. we r not republicans but we stay yapping about TRUMP yippee?

and maybe i’m wrong about all this idk maybe it didn’t make sense or I missed something ELSE that was crucial to my understanding of this. if anyone has any thoughts on this or disagrees for whichever reason, please share!! I would love to hear

[carlyraejepsans]

as an erstwhile/current(?) runner of an askblog, and as someone recently acquainted with the experience of Kissy Cutie, do you agree with cunningham's offhand remark that kissie cutie has the pacing of an askblog

lmao yeah! i wasn't sure of what he meant at first but "throwing in random characters in order to Have Stuff Happen bc there's no clear objective in the story" is kind of par for the course. unless you set up your story's objectives right outta the bat, but even then you're still gonna be beholden to the way your audience interacts with your blog: the how, the when, the how much, what they choose to focus on etc. without constantly going back and forth rereading all the entires together as one, it's VERY easy for the pacing to slip out of hand. that's partly because experiencing an ask blog developing in real time is a completely different experience to the "finished product" wrapped with a bow. maybe even more important! it's an inherently interactive medium, after all.

to speak for daemoverse specifically, it's why i'm not actually using it to tell the story! the in character "vignettes" aren't meant to be connected into a narrative, but rather, act as a backdrop for the more traditionally paced story i'm going to make for the characters one day. preparing the stage, setting up character conflicts and themes that will be tackled in the story... and, most importantly, flexing my dialogue writing skills like a cocky rooster LMFAOOO. that's the biggest strength of ask blogs imo. bite sized episodic snapshots that capture the characters' voices and bring them to life, just for a little while

[alexanderwales]

Review: The Case of the Sleeping Beauties

The Case of the Sleeping Beauties is a novella that I wrote back in 2015. Ambitiously subtitled "a Utah Sinclair mystery", it did not make any significant splash. It's got 67 lifetime sales, a 3.8 rating, and a single proper review. Some of this is simply a lack of marketing: back in 2015 I had written some fanfic and not much else, and was still working as a software engineer. I'm not sure why I wrote this novella, or decided to put it up for pay (unlike virtually everything else I've written, it's never once been up for free), but I consider it an abject failure, at least as far as writing for money goes. Also the cover sucks. The whole thing is 20,000 words, so short enough that I can easily blow through it in an afternoon. Also (still) available in EPUB, MOBI, and PDF for patrons, but I don't have firm numbers for how many people read it that way, nor if it did anything to encourage patronage.

But is it an artistic failure as well?

There is actually another Utah Sinclair mystery, it was intended as a trilogy of novellas that together would be long enough (and coherent enough) to stitch into a full book with the three cases being individual "acts". I don't know the last time I reread The Case of the Sleeping Beauties, but my guess is that it was while I was trying to complete The Case of the Slaughterhouse Prophet, and that would have been almost a decade ago.

The story was written at a time when I was playing Malifaux, a skirmish game, and is clearly heavily inspired by that, though with the serial numbers filed off. It follows Utah Sinclair, a private detective of the yonside as he wanders around a rambling city trying to figure out where undead prostitutes are coming from.

Mild spoilers follow.

Prose

The first thing I noticed is just how much noir it's channeling, and how much is being put into descriptive phrases. Stuff like this:

The first human through the portal from earthside had found himself on the outskirts of an empty city, one that seemed like it had been cobbled together by an orgy of deranged architects.

Or this:

There were a few maps of Cathopolis, but they only agreed on the areas that the Priz maintained control over. Everywhere else was a geographical bedlam.

Or this:

He was the sort of person who was waiting to disgorge his thoughts, like a mother bird ready to feed a starving chick.

Or this:

I had a revolver strapped to my ankle, one affectionately advertised in the back of the penny dreadfuls as the Silent Witness. It was supposed to be a subtle weapon, but it was still a gun, and if I’d paid chits for it instead of pulling it off a dead man I might have written a nasty letter to the manufacturer about its supposed silence.

Or this:

It took me a moment to realize it, but he was dressed up like a Catholic priest, all in black with a white collar. Even if he’d been standing in the middle of the Vatican with the Pope vouching for him, it wouldn’t have been convincing. Partly it was the scars on his face, but it was also the head that had been shaved with a secondhand blade. The snub-nosed shotgun at his side didn’t help matters either.

I assume that this is channeling Raymond Chandler, since I read a lot of detective fiction when I was a teenager (my dad had loads of the stuff) and Chandler was always a favorite. I think the density of these flourishes could be higher, and if you're going with this style, it's better that it's liberally peppered in. You don't want to sink into the rhythm "normal" prose only to have a tiny speck of flourish pop out at you.

There were a lot of things that I tightened up while reading, partly because this is the easiest thing in the world when reading in GDocs, but I don't know that I'll push a change to the ebook, partly because I would need to figure out how. Most of these changes are fairly minor. There's an overuse of semicolons, which I think I was in love with at the time, a romance that hasn't lasted. There are a few minor tweaks that are just on the order of "no, the phrase 'mechanical fingers' might be misread as poetic, it should reworded to be clear that these are prosthetic". A few of the tweaks are just to reduce down how much text there is, making it more punchy, so "the Priz didn't tax any property that a person might want to claim in this part of the city" becomes "the Priz didn't tax property in this part of the city", and this is essentially inarguably better, tighter, cleaner prose.

Also I fixed some typos, and those do make me feel like I need to figure out the reupload.

Character

I think I've gotten better at character voices through the years, but here I kind of doubt myself, since everything seems fine in that regard. Utah and his partner Ralph don't talk enough early on in my opinion, and there might be a few too many characters introduced in rapid succession, which is a problem when they're not advancing the plot. Cyanide Sally is a bartender who owns the House of Skulls, and she serves a bitter almond special that's (supposedly) fatally poisoned one time in every hundred, and this is very fun ... but it's irrelevant to the plot, it's just fun for the sake of fun.

I do think that Ralph gets speaking lines a bit too late, given that he's the second main character. My advice to my past self would be that he should be getting characterizing dialogue from the word go, and that this central relationship should be better understood by the reader much earlier. And they should be more distinct from each other: the orthogonality thesis is that every set of characters should only overlap where there's something interesting to say with that overlap. Cover up the names and see if you can tell who said what line! This does not work for Ralph and Utah, but I think it does work for most of the other characters. And I guess I wouldn't say this is fatal, since it's not like there's some grounding character arc between our detective and his sidekick.

Utah himself is ... fine. Some of his characterization comes through in the narration, and there were a few moments I particularly liked from him, but I'm not sure that I could sketch him out in a sentence. He's down on his luck, loves to break rules, lies through his teeth, scrambles around and gets back up from the hard punches. I'm not sure that this is enough. A job should be more than a job, I guess, and I do get the sense that he's skeeved out by the necromancy, but ... well, that brings us to the other thing.

Theme

This is, if you squint, or maybe even if you don't, a cop story about sex work. It also kind of doesn't have that much to say about either of those things.

Utah is a private detective, doling out justice for people who can pay him. In real life, private detectives come in a variety of flavors, but one of the most common is just the pursuit of things that are not actually criminal issues, like breach of contract, or adultery. This is a criminal issue within their world, but it's one that no one in power is pursuing. There's some clear contempt for the regular cops from Utah, and some further contempt for the law itself, since he breaks all kinds of laws in this lawless world, including murdering two men, which doesn't greatly affect him. This is self-defense, but still. I don't think there's some great thesis on criminality or justice here, and the novella overall is justice-neutral, seemingly unconcerned with what's right or wrong, only trying to work the problem. This is maybe fine?

And the sex work stuff is seen through the lens of Utah, and this is also seen as maybe being just morally neutral in a matter-of-fact way, something that people do in order to get by, no different from working in a coal mine or whatever. And there's exploitation, but that's no different from working in a coal mine. So I think this story has a viewpoint, but not a thesis.

Does a story need a thesis? Does a little novella like this need to have something to say about the world and the people in it? I don't know, I guess not, but I sure do prefer when there's something to grab onto. I am a sucker for story structure though, and a nice little character arc, and this piece ... does not really have that. Utah is challenged, but he's not challenged to his core, and does not grow and change, and this probably fine for a 20k word novella.

I think in the end it's more of a "wouldn't it be fucked up" kind of story, and in this case I don't particularly like that, since it's not fucked up enough.

Ideas

One of the other things that I look for in any story is cool ideas, and this is one of the things that I like most about reading long ago pieces, because sometimes I've forgotten those ideas.

The idea density is okay, but I would have liked to see more. A weird fiction setting is a playground for ideas, and I feel like especially in the back half, there's just not enough playing going on. It is only 20k words, but that feels like it's enough for easily twice as many little fucked up weird things. So that's what I would do, include more fucked up weird things. (The part where they go to the manor is the one that stands out clearly to me as needing more fucked up weird things, there should have been some kind of magic sculpture there or a steampunk maid or something.)

Of all the stuff that I had forgotten about, my favorite was the necromancy lobbyist, a guy who just really believed that necromancy should be legal, but was supposedly not a necromancer himself. So he's just talking about like regulatory schemes and social mores, and this is funny. I'm glad he wasn't a bad guy in the end, for some reason I thought he was going to be involved in the plot in a more critical way. Instead, he's just a happy little academic.

Conclusion

Fun to reread, and no, I would say not an artistic failure. Definitely feels like it wants a second mystery to follow after it. I believe The Case of the Slaughterhouse Prophet is approximately half written, which with editing work means only a quarter written, but again, the numbers mean that there's just no way that I can justify that as anything but a labor of love.

I wouldn't say that this is the best thing I've ever written, but I think it compares favorably to the other mid-length stuff. Definitely would have been stronger with a thematic core, and with more cohesion between protagonist and plot, but I also think that's fine.

I guess, having read it after nearly a decade, I'm feeling weirdly defensive about it for no particular reason. It might have been one thing if it had just not sold, that's partly just down to the lack of marketing and also the market for novellas being bad. But it also scored poorly in terms of ratings, and on top of that, never got enough reviews for me to get a picture of what was not hitting right, which leaves me grappling in the dark.

So I'd say that I learned approximately nothing from this, except that I had some more ideas for a Weird West kind of story, if I ever end up writing one of those.

[collectionoftulips]

So I was rereading The Ballad of Songbirds and Snakes (still working my way through the reread) and I went with a friend to see the new movie and here are some thoughts on Lucy Gray and Snow and all that stuff, in case anyone is interested, particularly the differences made between the book and the movie.

The first thing that stood out to me was the difference between (from what I could tell) book!Lucy Gray and movie!Lucy Gray. In the book, I think that Lucy Gray is much more of an ambiguous character compared to how she was in the movie (I wonder if it was to help make the main message of the film clearer (in classic 'beat you over the head with the metaphor' Hollywood fashion)). There is so much emphasis placed in the beginning of the book on how Lucy Gray adjusts her appearance, how she makes sure that she looks as good as she can - a tendency that is clearer in the book when she and Snow more overtly also strategise what she should sing when she's on television. The book makes it clear that they have had discussions about what she might or might not perform to get as many sponsors as possible before the event and he is surprised when she ends up singing something other than what they had discussed. To me, it felt like that the book spent more time showing us how similar they are to each other by showing how they manipulate people through impression management. Lucy Gray in the books is okay with singing for strategy, while in the movie, she insists on maintaining some sort of 'authenticity' by only singing when she is inspired to do so.

Something to acknowledge, of course, is that Snow is a character who fundamentally trusts no one. He is aware of Lucy Gray's tendencies and perhaps they are overemphasised to us as the reader because in the book we spend so much time in his head. Perhaps the ambiguity around Lucy Gray is merely a reflection of Snow's suspiciousness, but I like to think that she is similar to Snow in that she knows that there is power to being likeable to the right people and sometimes that's the only card you can play when the odds are stacked against you (Snow's sense of being wronged is obviously much more a product of his own delusion, while Lucy Gray's is much more real). It might be counter-intuitive, but I think having Lucy Gray and Snow be more similar on that level would make the deeper themes of the movie clearer: discussions of 'human nature' is fairly reductive and people have the capacity of both good and evil, sometimes at once, and if you assume the worst in people on your quest to power, you will probably draw that out but also that's how you become a ruthless dictator.

The fundamental difference between Lucy Gray and Snow in the end is that Lucy Gray believes in the good in people, and Snow does not.

So why am I going on about this? Well, partly because these thoughts have been floating around in my head, but also in terms of the romance aspect of the film, I thought it might have some potentially interesting implications. Mainly, do I think that the romance between Lucy Gray and Snow was genuine? Yes and no.

Yes in the sense that they did have a connection and whatnot, but also no for a few reasons. Firstly, because I think one of the main aspects of why Snow becomes attracted to Lucy Gray is because his vanity is flattered. He likes the idea that this now immensely popular girl likes him, that he managed to win her over, that despite that he's Capitol and part of the Games, she trusts him. He likes the idea of the romance, once he gets to District 12 (I'm not there at the rereading yet though) it's not like that he has a lot else to do, and it would make sense for him to try carve something out with Lucy as a backup as it looks like his future in the Capitol for all intents and purposes is toast.

Secondly, I think Lucy Gray is genuinely intrigued and attracted to Snow. But she's also someone who was deeply betrayed with the Reaping, deeply traumatised, and still reeling from the breakup that caused her to be in the Games. Then this handsome, charming man shows up who seems to care for her and goes above and beyond expectations as her mentor. At the start, she is very aware of the fact that he's Capitol is in the back of her mind. She also knows that she needs to keep him on side while she is in the Games (as she clearly sees that he's more invested than 99% of other mentors and she is gaining advantages from that investment that other tributes could only dream of). But over time, he demonstrates that he wants her to survive and he helps her out. When he then shows up in 12, she is surprised and she never expected to see him again. But he seemed to be a good person from everything he did for her in the Games (some of it she could barely guess at), and she's now basically forced to live in the same district as her ex and the girl who made her compete in the Games. He shows up, seemingly offering this fairytale and she happily goes along with it - after all, she likes him well enough. But she also has very little sense of who he actually is and she's (probably) still hurting a bit too much from her previous relationship for it to be a relationship where she is truly and deeply in love.

And then when she realises that he set up his seemingly only friend to be killed, she realised that her dream prince is actually not the kind of man she thought that he was, and that everyone is expendable to him. She is the apple of his eye at the moment, but eventually the shiny romance of it all will fade, so the best thing to do was to escape.

I don't know, maybe I just like the idea that Lucy Gray and Snow were people who had potential and that they were essentially two people who the world had broken in two, clinging to each other, and if it wasn't for Snow's narcissism and ruthlessness, if he had essentially been a better person, they could have really had something.

[cinemastyles-blog]

Can I Take You Somewhere?

Summary: Anon request on Wattpad - “could u do one where y/n is a virgin and it like takes place in highschool? and like harry is really gentle”

Warnings: fluffy SMUT18+, strong language, lots of caring gestures, praise talk, oral (f), gentle!harry, lots of fluff and fluffy smut

I wasn’t sure if it was meant as doing it in the high school, or Harry and y/n are high schoolers, so I wrote it as the second option. If you want the first option, let me know!

Master

FRAT BOY HARRY

“Hey Harry.” You smile as you sit down in the desk next to him, “Have a good weekend?”

He nods, “Yeah, for the most part.” He gives you a small smile and shifts around as his mates file in around him, “Wild party last night Styles!” Louis says as he flops down into the chair, “Crazy shit happened.”

Harry nods and glances over at you, giving you a look that you’re not sure how to take.

You look down at your desk and open your book, making yourself act like you don’t really care, but at the same time you do.

You care so badly because you’re in love with the boy who you aren’t even sure likes you back.

He acts so different when he’s around his friends, almost like he doesn’t want them to see the softer side of him.

“Alright class, take your seats.”

——

At the end of class, Harry gets up and grabs his books. He lays his hand on the corner of your desk. When he lifts it up there’s a note that you quickly snatch and shove into your sweatshirt pocket.

You gather your things and grab your bag before walking to your locker. You turn the dial, entering your three digit code before opening and throwing your belongings in with a loud slam.

You don’t even care. You’re worried about what the note said.

You rest your hands inside your locker as your fingers shake with excitement mixed with nervousness.

You smooth out the folded paper and your lips form into a smile as your eyes glide over the words.

Meet me out back at my bike after school.

You bite your lip, rereading over it again to make sure you’re brain isn’t tricking you.

Your stomach does a flip each time you read the word ‘bike’ because Harry on a motorcycle is to die for, and you have a feeling you’d be on the back of it after school.

——

Final bell rings and you’re up and out of your seat within seconds.

You go to your locker, throwing and keeping anything you don’t need into it. You play with the cuffs of your sweatshirt as you head towards the back lot.

You pushed the door open and a smile slowly forms on your lips as you spot Harry and make your way over to him.

“Hey. Got your note.” You look up at him.

He smirks, “Good, I was hoping you would.” He hands you his helmet, “Can I take you somewhere?” You take it in your hands and nod, “Sure.”

He swings his leg over his bike, kicking the kickstand up as he turns it on. You put the helmet on and he flips his hat around backwards and nods for you to get on.

You lay a hand on his waist and swing your leg over, situating yourself before wrapping your arms around his torso.

“Ready?” He looks over his shoulder at you.

“Ready.”

Harry starts moving the bike slowly, stopping until a car finally lets him go.

Harry is the only guy in school to have a motorcycle, which is partly why he’s considered one of the popular cool kids.

But you know him as something other than that. You know him as the gentle, likes to study and laugh at stupid stuff but super, super caring Harry.

He doesn’t show that side very much or just to anyone really.

——

At every red light, Harry would check to see if you’re still okay and rub your knee with his fingers as you waited for the light to change.

When it did, he would wait for you to tighten your arms before moving.

He pulls off onto a road and it’s just you, him, his bike and the road for a little while until he pulls off and stops the bike.

He taps your leg to get off and you comply, swinging your leg over and getting your balance before you take off the helmet and handing it to him.

He clips it and hands it on the handle bar. He extends his hand out and you take it, walking with him over to the single bench.

He sits down and you sit next to him. You gasp as you look out into the overlook, “This is beautiful.”

He smiles and admires how happy you look, “Yeah, I found this place a while back, kept thinking about taking you here.”

You look over at him, “Me?”

He nods, “Yes.” He presses his lips together and takes a deep breathe through his nose, “I brought you here so I can, um.”

Your stomach starts to flip and you bite your lip, “Harry.” You whisper lowly, “It’s okay.”

He smiles slightly and you can tell he’s a bit nervous, “I want to ask if.. you’ll think about being my girlfriend?”

You smile and nod, “I don’t have to think about that.”

He looks over at you and smiles, “Really?”

You nod, “Harry.. I have liked you for a while now..” you turn towards him, “I wasn’t sure if you felt the same.”

“I don’t treat you like anyone else. You’re special to me and I just-“ he blows air and laughs, “I just wasn’t sure when or if there was a right time.. so I just decided that today was the day.. that’s why I was short with you today.. I was nervous.”

You laugh slightly and move in towards him, “It’s okay.”

He lays his head on yours as you lay it on his shoulder and he takes your hand into his. You slowly turn your head to look up at him. He smiles and cups your cheek, bringing his lips down to yours.

You kiss a few times before it graduates into a slow make out.

You know what you wanted, and you can tell Harry wants the same thing.

He goes to pull you into his lap but you stop him, “Not here.” You whisper against his lips.

He nods, “Oh, alright.”

“No, I mean.” You look up at him, “Let’s go to your house. You said no one would be home for a few days right?” You bite your lip, hinting that you’re ready.

He nods and smirks, “Yeah, yeah I did say that.”

You stand up and hold your hand out, “Let’s go.”

——

You hop off of Harry’s bike and carry the helmet up to the door as you follow him. He unlocks the door and opens it, letting you walk in first.

“I love it here. It’s so nice and cozy.” You set the helmet down on the table and turn to look at him. He smiles, “Yeah, my mom likes to keep it that way. No wonder you guys get along so well.”

You laugh and shake your head.

Harry walks up to you, brushing hair from your face, “Hi.”

You smile and tilt your head into his hand, “Hi.”

He leans down and kisses you, gently pulling you closer to his body.

“Remember..” you say leaning back, “I haven’t done this before.”

He smiles and rubs your cheek with his thumb, “I’ll walk you through it.”

You smile and take his hand and walk with him as he leads you up the steps to his room.

You’ve been to Harry’s house multiple times before, you know his family every well. They’re always teasing about you two being a thing, but you guys weren’t sure if you both felt the same way, so neither of you bothered to talk about it.

He lays you down on the bed and lays beside you, laying his hand on your cheek, giving you a smile, “My beautiful girlfriend.”

You smile and bite your lip, “You have no idea how long I’ve been wanting to hear you say that.”

He leans in and kisses you. Your lips move with his in the most perfect way.

He pulls you over onto him so you’re straddling him, “Just grind your hips down, love.” His hands grasp firmly on your hips, pushing down.

You bite your lip and start to move your hips downward, gasping at how good the friction feels, “Oh, fuck.”

“Feel good?” Harry groans out.

You nod, “Y-yes.” You lay your hands on his chest, fisting his shirt as you grind down harder.

Harry watches you for a few minutes before sitting up and wrapping an arm around your waist, “Can we try something?”

You nod and watch as Harry moves down your body, sliding his hands up your legs to the button of your jeans.

You watch his hands as they swiftly undo and pull them down, tossing them aside as he leans in to kiss your skin.

He smirks and hooks his fingers in the band of your panties, “I want to eat you out.”

His words cause you belly to somersault, “Yes.”

He slides then down and gently pushes your legs open, biting his lip as he lays eyes on your pussy, “You’re so pretty.”

His words make you blush, “Thank you.”

He slides his hands up, placing his thumbs on either side and spreading your folds apart. Your breathing starts to get more rapid as you’re excited to feel his mouth on you.

He leans in, his tongue gently swipes up and down your folds a few times before his lips attach to your clit.

Your hand lays on the back of his head as you moan out, moving your hips as you indulge in the pleasure, “Harry.” You gasp out, “That feels so good.”

He hums against you, gripping your thighs, “You taste so good.”

You look down at him as he glances up at you before pushing his tongue into you. You let out a whine and arch your back. You eyes shut as your head falls back, “Fuck.”

You’ve touched yourself many times before, so you knew what it felt like when you were about to cum, and Harry had you there already.

“Fuck, fuck. Yes yes!” You call out and grip his hair, pulling as you cum around his tongue. You walks clench and unclench as you come down from your high.

He leans back, “How was that?”

You smirk and look up at him, “Why haven’t we done that before?”

He chuckles and takes off his shirt, tossing it to the floor. He undoes his belt and your eyes fixate on his hands again.

You loved his hands.

He stands up to kick off his jeans, leaving him in his boxers, “Are you ready?” You nod, “Yes.”

He walks to his dresser and grabs a condom before walking back over. He lays it on the bed next to your head, “Just to be safe.” He winks and moves his body to hover over yours.

He brushes hair off of your forehead and presses a kiss to it, “If it hurts too bad, just tell me. We’ll stop.”

“Okay.” You lay your hands on his cheeks and pull him down for a kiss. His hands travel up and down your body, under your shirt that you haven’t taken off yet.

“Can we get this off of you?” He asks in a whisper as he tugs on your shirt. You nod and sit up as he does and pull the thin fabric up over your head.

He smiles and shakes his head, “I will never get over how beautiful you are.”

You throw your shirt down and look back up at him with a smile. His hands slide up your sides and he pulls your bra straps off your shoulder to lean in and kiss where it laid.

You reach behind you and unclip it, sliding it off and throwing it with the other discarded clothes that lay on his bedroom floor.

He lays you back and pushes his boxers down. Your eyes move to his cock and back up to his eyes.

You were worried that it was going to hurt because of how big he looked.

He leans up, grabbing the small square packet and ripping it between his teeth. You watched as he pulled the rubber from it and took it down to put it around him.

He slid it on and looks up at you, “I know I said it already, but tell me if anything is wrong.” He run his hand through your hair and waits for you to give him the okay.

You nod and he grabs his cock, rubbing it against your wet folds before he gently and slowly starts to push in.

You gasp and tense up quickly. Harry stops and rests his forehead on yours, “Relax, baby. Try to relax.” He dips his head down and presses his lips to yours.

He feels you relax so he continues to push in. You whimper against his lips and squirm around, “Keep going.” You whisper quickly, “It’s okay.”

You wrap and arm around his neck and lay your other hand on his chest. He moves his hand up to your clit, gently rubbing circles onto it as he continues pushing in.

You let out a moan, “Fuck, fuck.”

“Hurts?” Harry stops and looks at you.

You shake your head, “Feels more good than anything.”

He smiles slightly, “That’s good, baby.” He starts kissing you again as his fingers start rubbing your clit, “You feel so good already and I’m not even all the way in yet.”

You smile against his lips and moan as he gets more of his cock inside of you. He groans against your lips, “Shit. Almost there.”

You nod and whimper as you feel his cock in you fully. Your walls clench around him and he moans, “Fuck, y/n. You feel incredible.”

“M-move, please. Slowly.”

He leans up slightly, watching your face as he slowly pulls out. Your face crunches up and your eyes shut as you moan, “H-Harry, fuck.”

He bites his lip as he slides back in, listening to you moan, “Feel good?”

You open your eyes and look at him, “So good.”

He slowly pushes back in, moaning as you clench around him, “Fuck, baby.”

He slowly gets into a rhythm, slowly thrusting as he kisses you. You dig your nails into his shoulder, moaning into his mouth.

He lays his head on yours, “Doing so good baby.”

You’re a whimpering, moaning mess under him. You wrap a leg around his waist and arch your back up off the bed, “I feel so close.”

He nods, “Go ahead baby.”

Your eyes roll back and you lay your head back as he kisses down your neck. He leaves a trail of little bite marks up and down as he kisses across to the other side, “Cum for me, baby.”

You feel it coming as he pushes his cock deep into you. You gasp and cling to him as your orgasm rips through, “Fuck fu-“ you let out a long moan.

Harry leaves gentle kisses all over your face as he works you through your high, “You feel so good.” He whispers lowly, “Taking me so good.”

You moan and whimper at his words, closing your eyes as he covers you in kisses, “M’so close, love.”

You nod and turn your head to press your lips to his. He slides a hand down your body, hooking his fingers under your knee to hold your leg close to his body.

His hips rock slowly into yours as he moans against your lips. You wrap an arm around his neck, pulling yourself closer to him.

He kisses back your jaw line and buries his face into your neck, “Fuck.”

His moans are music to your ears. It fills a part of you that you didn’t know needed to be filled.

“Y/n.” He moans and you feel his cock twitch and empty into the condom that’s inside of you, “Fuck. Fuck.”

He gently pushes his hips against yours and rests there for a few moment, breathing heavy as you run your fingers through his hair.

He slowly pulls out and discards the rubber, “How was that?”

You sit up and smile, “Really great.”

He leans in and kisses you.

“Harry, sweetheart you home?” Anne calls from downstairs.

“Shit!” You both exclaim quietly and jump off the bed to quickly put your clothes back on, trying to be as quiet as possible.

——

Sorry this took so long! I hope you like it!!

If you have any requests you can send them here

I do have about seven requests to get through so bare with me.

[alparlaboratories]

Gonna ramble about Inyssa for a little bit.

Is it conceited to make a post about your own character's themes and stuff? Maybe. Whatever.

@inpurpleandred has been rereading and commenting on CoT and some of the stuff they said gave me ThoughtsTM about Niss, so here they are under the cut. It's long, and y'know... warning for all the stuff Niss goes through.

So you know that tumblr post that goes something like 'I'm probably X (trans, queer, bi, etc.) but I got much more pressing shit going on to deal with that at the moment'? That's how I viewed Niss'... everything while writing CoT. Partly because yeah, Niss really has so much shit going on that more urgently requires her attention during much of her story, 90% of it being Shadi's fault of course.

And she does deal with a good amount of it during the fic itself, mostly regarding her own self-worth, her feelings about her family and her own warped view of strength and heroism. And it's only near the end and the epilogue that she can even begin to consider anything else about her life.

And I think in that time, in those years between CoT and my future story, Niss does think about it, and tries things out, experiments and tries to find a place for herself in herself. And she realizes that she both has severe self-image issues and also some gender stuff going on maybe, but they're not actually related.

During much of the fic, Niss sees her body as separate from herself, as early on as the first chapter. It's a form of detachment that allows her to be angry at herself in self-harming ways that -in her head at least- don't clash with her vow to never hurt herself again like she did in the past.

And she is very, very angry at her body. It's a bitterness that keeps boiling under the surface of her skin whenever she's unable to do something she feels like she should. She sees her body as just a thing covering the real Inyssa, and feels like a chick who never got to break out of its shell. And though she tries not to admit it, one of her biggest fantasies is to literally rip herself apart like a molting snake and for the 'real' Inyssa to come out of the dregs, pristine and perfect.

And in a way, it's true, but it's not her fault. It's both Shadi and Johanna's (And Sarah's too, but for different reasons). Who is the most to blame is debatable, but regardless, it's because of them that Inyssa feels this way.

Because yeah, as one of my readers once said, the Dawn family is full of women who are made of stick and stones, but Inyssa takes that to an extreme. There's a chapter where Barry mentions that Niss was once noticeably taller than him, and she was! And she would've continued that trend, eventually growing as tall as Shadi if not taller, if she'd had a normal childhood.

But she didn't. Johanna neglected both of her daughters, and partly because of that -and her own bad tendencies- Shadi ended up doing much worse, especially psychologically, to Inyssa. And then she left. So Inyssa was left severely depressed and gaunt for arguably the most important years in terms of physical growth and development. Johanna says so herself; she practically starved herself, eating only as much to keep herself alive and not doing anything else. And she kept getting worse, and worse, until eventually she attempted suicide. Which, of course, only made the situation worse.

And by the time she was forced to start taking care of herself, it was too late. Her body was frail, and the malnutrition she'd suffered caused invisible scars that stunted her growth for the following years, making Inyssa feel like there was a disconnect between how strong her willpower was compared to her actual body. And so she went on hating said body, cursing it for all her problems because she didn't know who was really to blame.

It's also an endless spiral, because she could've gotten better if she'd taken better care of her body, but why would she, from her own perspective? So she treated her body worse, and it inevitably got worse, so she got even angrier, etc. It's only when she goes on her trainer journey alongside Barry, someone who cares to help her, that she starts getting better. And of course, following the end of the fic and the Epilogue, she's actively trying to eat and sleep more, to treat her body more kindly, like it always tried to do with her.

And it's only then that she has enough time and peace of mind to think about herself, her gender and all that. Now, Niss has always been bi. One of the few good things about Johanna as a mom is that she was unapologetically bi herself, and supported her daughters in learning their own sexual identities, Niss coming out as bi eventually, and Shadi as a lesbian.

After that, I think Niss would happily try new things, whenever she got the time. And though she would keep doing so even years and years after the fact (well into this new Hoenn fic and beyond) from an author perspective I think she'd eventually see herself as a baby butch, a pretty boygirl who loves wearing suits and ties and looking like she's straight out of a visual novel full of bishonen men.

And I love that for her, honestly.

[witchhuntress]

I’ve been trying to write an hour or so sprints the past 2 weeks, not just on GH Day, & I just remembered once again how much writing moves me.

I often think about why people read my fanfics when my English wasn’t so good back then, & I guess I can partly understand it. I guess my love for writing shows so much? When I started rereading my fanfics, despite the embarrassment at the bad grammar or English usage mistakes, I found how far I really went into plotting despite actually having less time w/ school & work back then. I dared to write despite knowing that it’s not perhaps my best work.

I guess, in short, I could tell I poured my heart into these fanfics despite not being the most easy to read, & I guess that’s a feat in itself? I also wrote stuff that I now find actually make the stories unpredictable for readers, w/o totally intending it to lol Examples of that is definitely parts of Reminiscence, most of Dollmaker, parts of Naru’s Moving Castle, Cloud, & the one-shot, The Idiot Scientist. Infinity also has some of these parts, especially chapter 3, from the ones released.

Reading my past writing really just makes me reflect about how hard I worked on stuff that I couldn’t believe I had written this or that before. This isn’t to flex lol Because my writing was definitely still mediocre, but it was also exciting to reread despite the bad English. And I’m glad that it moved readers despite my problems in writing. That people still reviewed despite such problems.

I guess I’m really just amazed people read my stories even when there are better written ones out there.

[modern-inheritance]

*slurps coffee*

Something that I'm starting to find amusing is the difference between my emotion when I write/read/reread vs the emotions that I get when I'm mumbling dialogue/character moments aloud and when I'm freaking out over the canon stuff.

I'm very monotone when I'm writing. Not like...vocally monotone but more like...facially, emotionally, etc. I just...exist and write. I do not really feel the emotions of the characters as I write, I guess, unless I get super super deep into a 'they write themselves' bit. That's part of the perk of writing in 3rd person and not fully adhering to a single POV most of the time.

This is why I might seem surprised, embarrassed or not understand all that well when someone says they had an emotional reaction to something I wrote. It's taken a long, long time for me to even partly comprehend that my writing can evoke emotions in others. Whenever I read something I enjoy, it's less an emotional reaction and more kinda like a uh...hm...like an urge to know what happens next. Last time I did a full, dedicated reread of IC, I remember being very eager to get to cafe one day so I could sit down and 'See what Eragon, Saphira and Brom get up to next' despite knowing the general plot. As far as I can tell/remember right now, it's hard to get emotional responses from me when I read. Same for writing. I write what comes out of my fingers and my brain. I 'feel' it but not emotion feel it.

All this to say...

lol if I post the current unaltered memory I'm working on for Arya that the Breath in MIC alters and she has to change back...

I'm so sorry. I don't know for sure (obviously), but I think this might make some people sad.

[asirensrage]

Hello hello 👋🩷👋🩷👋, I was just rereading your Lost Boys story for like, the hundredth time and it got me thinking about the feelings I've been having with fanfic's recently. There's no such thing as being too old for fanficton but I find myself unable to emerse the same way I did years ago. When I've now surpassed these characters in age, and when I read the reactions of the MC's, I can't relate anymore. It feels melancholy.

Then there's the fact that I can't read stories where the mc is out of character anymore, and that is just ridiculous. Like, why the hell can't this nutjob, serial killer be affectionate and loving? None of this is real, it's fiction, it shouldn't throw me off to view these characters in a different light.

I feel like I've lost the ability to really fall into a story and when it's taken up so much of life, I feel sort of lost.

Have you ever felt these sort of things?

Hey! It's been awhile but I hope things are going well overall.

As for your question, yeah, I get it. I totally do. There are times when I can't find myself invested in the same fandoms or characters that I used to take such joy in before. Even fanfics I loved sometimes I reread and can't fully get immersed back, but that's okay. It happens. It doesn't really have to do with aging, it's more about how priorities and interests shift in time. It sounds like you're looking for more depth in what you're reading.

Usually, when I find myself struggling to relate to characters or MCs it ends up resulting in me writing my own fics, tbh. Because I get frustrated at the reactions and then go to make my ocs react in more realistic ways imo. Sometimes I'll write things that age up characters just so I can give more dimension to them (also usually when I write darker stuff lol). (This is partly why i end up with a million wips lol)

I think you have to give yourself some grace. There's nothing wrong with you, or in the writing you're finding yourself in, but it may not be what you need in that moment. That's fine. It happens. That doesn't mean you'll never enjoy it again, you just may need to take a break or even shift in what you're reading (character, fandom or other).

If you continue your search for fics that fulfill that feeling, I hope you find more than you expect.

[wrongcaitlyn]

i started rereading tyt and i had a question. it’s probably answered within the fic but my english is not really that good but what exactly happened between nico, jason and bryce in the start of the fic??? was it a cupid situation or something totally different??

ahh no worries!! yeah it's intentionally made pretty vague, i think that i gave a short-ish summary of it but if that wasn't super clear that's 100% on me lmao - basically, i think towards the end of their freshman year-ish? or like mid freshman year. not entirely sure when but some time during their freshman year, it was bryce, jason, and nico in an empty classroom (i never put a reason why, but the image i pictured was like nico accidentally forgot smth like a pencil or his phone or something in the classroom and went to get it, meanwhile bryce was holding up jason and trying to get him to talk about stuff/be friends... like clout-chasing shit. he's an asshole but anyway

jason being the people-pleaser he is just stands there and kinda listens as bryce brags abt things that he doesn't even care abt, and then nico walks in to get his pencil or whatever it is, and bryce just takes this as an opportunity to like - gain jason's approval? or something? keep in mind that bryce is just a total dick, and jason is not, but bryce does not know that about jason. but anyway, i don't think he *actually* knew that nico was trans/gay, but just made assumptions/very negative remarks in relation to that in a sort of mocking manner.

it wasn't really ment to parallel cupid, because cupid most definitely knew that nico was gay. and he's a literal god. in this case, it's just a teenage boy doing a very shitty thing because he thought it'd make him cool (not excusing that at ALL hopefully this doesn't come off in a "boys will be boys" way because that's not what i'm intending)

nico, obviously, when hearing the implication, immediately dashes, assuming that bryce has somehow figured it out, and will then be telling the entire school, but really, bryce just picked on nico because he was in the wrong place at the wrong time. unfortunately, nico doesn't see jason do a complete 180 on bryce (he's no longer just tolerating him), and eventually gets him expelled too. jason doesn't necessarily *know* if what bryce said was true, but he makes the assumption that based on nico's reaction, it was true to some extent, and it leads to him deciding on sitting at nico/leo/will's table the next year (partly because he's like, ah, gay friends for piper because i am totally a straight ally, and partly because he just doesn't know anyone else at this school who isn't a complete asshole- seeing that octavian and the others were friends with bryce)

so yeah it's pretty vague in my head, and it's not necessarily "nico was outed by someone who very definitely knew about his sexuality" but rather "bryce was pulling assumptions out of his ass to try and make bullying seem cool when it really really wasn't and nico was just unfortunately the one who was there at the time"

but obviously, that's not going to make a huge difference in nico's opinion. there was no way for him to know that bryce was just guessing. and so when he's able to very vaguely and briefly explain the situation to will and leo, he just thinks that he's been outed. he's shocked when he gets to school the next week and realizes that literally no one knows, and no one cares about him, just the same as last week

thank you for the ask!!

[thisis-elijah]

[ mulberry ]

  [ mulberry ]  what tips would you give someone with writer's block?

🌿    /    oh, i love that! welcome to my (*drumroll*):

step I:        do something else first! for me personally i always consume a shitload of different media. no matter if it's books, movies, music or video games. i usually just tend to watch one of the gazillion fantastic movies out there (if you ever need a recommendation just hmu, i'm your friendly walking movie encyclopedia) and that alone helps me overcome any writers block. documentaries help, too! just anything that broadens your horizon really, that make you deal with situations you don't have to deal with. it doesn't neccessarily have to match the mood of your texts, but it helps. 

step II:   ​​​   plotting & planning. before i start writing any text i plot it beforehand. that doesn't mean that i know every little thing that's gonna happen, but i loosely build my structure beforehand. some scenes live very vividly in my head before writing them down, other ones just start to form on the go and sometimes i don't even know how i'm going to connect scene a) and scene b). when i hear anything that inspires me i write it down somewhere. even if it's just a couple of words. for me personally, thinking about how the scene's going to look also helps me massively. i often work with the senses in my texts. for example: you have that eerie basement waiting for you, there are shadows hidden in the corners, looking like people. the dust particles are reflecting the warmtoned light of the flashlight in your hands, barely shedding enough light to see anything properly. your palms are sweaty, it's the tension and the fear you feel rushing through your veins. the silence is almost deafening, sometimes you don't really realize it's there until you feel it weighing heavily on you. and then the smell: that god-forsaken smell of decay. the smell no one actually ever gets used to.  and now you have a setting for your character to interact with. things your character can react to. it's just like in the movies, where you're constantly in awe because of the magnificent set design. from there it's easy peasy lemon squeezy.

step III:        the right music. sounds like the most obvious thing out there, i know. i make playlists for every text i write and just listen to them over and over and over again to get myself in that kind of emotional level. for example: i've recently been listening to the soundtracks of se7en, haunting of hill house, far cry 5 and doctor sleep when writing elizabeths latest text, and then changed to kristofferson 2 (fantastic mr. fox), stuff we did (up), in another life (eeaao), mia & sebastian's theme – celesta (la la land) and magic tree and i let myself go (great gatsby) when writing another (very sad, haha) text from elijah's past. i usually just stick to instrumental music but sometimes other tunes with words can help to put you in the right mood, too.

step IV:   ​​​   practice makes perfect (and the dullness of perfectionism). you're now getting advice from someone who's (partly) paid for their creativity so it's somewhat professional lol. creativity is something you have to nourish and take care of just as your body, your mental health, your habits and whatnot. the more routine you get in being creative the easier it gets. that doesn't neccessarily mean that everything you create, write or think about will be damn good. sometimes you have really really really shitty ideas. sometimes you gonna reread your texts and have this "i started walking and my legs were walking"-typa shit going on. but that's okay. it's all a process. you just gotta start. that's why i start with trying to grasp the atmosphere my character's navigating through, because it gives me a head start. your stuff doesn't have to be perfect. it will never be. and the sooner you're accepting that perfectionism is a construct that's more of an utopia than anything else, you start to feel less pressured in many ways. perfection is boring, that's why perfect characters with barely any flaws at all are boring.

step V:   ​​​   the little things. we gonna get a little sappy here and this might not work for every person, but it sure as hell helped me. inspiration is everywhere. just as joy and beauty and moments we deem as perfection is everywhere. i noticed my texts got way better when i described very "simple" scenes that happened and filled them with fragments of memories like smells or little details. thus i started to pay attention to my surroundings more: started to look up when taking a walk, how friends of mine act around each other with their little quirks and habits, found beauty in the smallest little moments, like when the person you hug just tightens their grip halfway through. or when you cook dinner and this ray of sunshine's hitting your hands in just the right angle. or you listen to that one song that makes you remember this stupid thing that happened seven years ago. find beauty in the little things because there really is beauty in everything. even in our darkest moments, even in sadness, even in grief. i think we all have a gift with our creativity, because we can put the emotions we have into words and share them with people.  

⸻ (original post here)

[that-starry-freak]

Okay I wanted to talk about something that I've been thinking about for awhile

Cw for mentions of proshipping

Okay, uhm- God I'm bad at starting these

-

I dont think we should ever judge someone for being a proshipper

And, I know, a few of you (maybe?? I feel like most of the people who are going to see these are going to agree but for those who dont-) are going to be like "well Echo! Its wrong! Those things are digusting!"

and, yes! The content of things in proships are disgusting, I will not fight that at all. I'm not advocating for those things or defending those things irl at all! However, that doesn't mean the people are.

Let me explain.

I used to think proshipping was terrible (which partly because I first heard about it in the wof fandom on the wiki, and they're strict af about it), but recently I met someone irl. Let's call them C for the sake of simplicity and anominity-

C is.. an interesting person. They're my friend and they're nice! But they often talk about- interesting things. they're openly a proshipper, at least to me and my friends. It really turned me off at first, but as I got to know them more I realized they were relaly, really traumatized. And I realized there is a really good chance this just a way to cope.

Now, even before this I had been fine with people who did it to cope, but was still disgusted with people who were doing it just because they found it interesting. But recently I realized that.. you can't relaly tell the difference-? Unless they tell you directly at least. If you just see their art of two characters you have no clue why they did it. And even if you ask, if they are doing it to cope you could bring up some really bad memories.

I guess what I'm getting at is that I've come to realize that we should just.. leave people alone. We don't know why they do things, or what they've been through. We shouldn't try to cancel anyone or harass them for proshipping, because they may have a reason for it. Or they don't, but you don't know that.

I mean- proshipping isn't terrible in general ig-? Idk, I just don't think about it. I've just decided I dont care about what people ship. But for people who do, who are absolutley disgusted by the thought of it, I hope this helps to sway you to just.. leave people alone. Block them, block the tags, and move on.

So uh- yeah 👍

(This is not directed at anyone btw!! These have just been my thoughts in general, and I wanted to share them- also sorry, this is probably poorly written, I really just wanted to get all my thoughts down and stuff- and I dont like rereading posts-)

[musicalsiphonophore]

I finished Annihilation.

Oh, my God. Oh, my God. Give me 2-5 business days to process what I just read. I would give it six stars if I could.

I could have devoured this in an hour - but I had to reread chapters, reread pages, annotate, and sit there staring into space considering the implications of the words. Even doing this, I read it in 2 days I enjoyed it so much.

The actual narrative is hidden behind the sentences, it's not stated outright. That's the appeal of it, partly. You are bewildered alongside the biologist, you lose your sense of what the reality of Area X and the world outside it is, just as the biologist does.

You know what I love? None of the horror of Area X is the area itself. The area itself is not frightening. The horror lies in how it transforms people. The horror is the way people change, the way they lose their sense of self and dissolve into the environment.

Also, it's deeeeeply creepy. Especially Chapter 4. The [SPOILER!!! SEE BOTTOM OF PAGE***] I tried to read that chapter while having a snack and I had to delay my snacking because I felt profoundly nauseous.

It really reminds me of Scavengers Reign. Especially at the start. So if you like Annihilation and don't know Scavengers Reign, try it out, and if you haven't read Annihilation but you do know Scavengers Reign, read Annihilation.

Fantastic book.

***psychologist's terror at seeing the biologist, at seeing what this world has done to her. The screaming "annihilation", which in itself frightened me, and then when you found out why... my god. The hypnosis stuff really gets to me.

[dpsisquared]

For the Fic Writer Ask:

🍱 Do you read your own fics?

🍘 Is there a fic or idea for a fic that you've abandoned?

🍙 Is there a fic you wish had gotten more attention?

🍱 Do you read your own fics?

I do. I'm not sure *why* exactly lol. I think it's partly the compulsive way you reread an email you've already sent?? 😅 But I find myself rereading older fics when they happen to get comments bc I do forget a lot about what I write.

🍘 Is there a fic or an idea you've abandoned?

For longer fics, I have them pretty much finished when I start posting, so I've never abandoned one in that sense. But ideas/WIPs?? Countless times 😅 There's tons of WIPs with anywhere from a few hundred to a few thousand words where the inspiration just fizzled. Although, I've occasionally picked stuff like this up a year later and ended up finishing them so who knows. Here's a small sampling:

The one where VW Byleth rescues Dimitri but he rejects her because Dimitri™️ and she's manipulated into a political betrothal with Claude

A Felileth time travel fix it where they accidentally come back to the academy after Gronder (this one has 15k words written but I hit a wall with Edelgard's part)

Modern royalty/tutor Dimileth AU

Academy shenanigans as told through the letters Rodrigue receives from the various blue Lions

A messy FWB turned arranged marriage disaster (I think this one came from a Tumblr ask)

🍙 Is there a fic you wish had gotten more attention?

I mean, I'm human, so I crave more attention even on ones that did well 🙈 I am definitely an anxious person and get these lovely crippling bouts of imposter syndrome so sometimes I get fixated on the stats and sometimes I am more rational about it.

I guess I would say my fic for a flash event based on Roman Holiday. Posting in an event can be a double edged sword, because it's a fun sense of community with the other participants but it also kinda creates a flood of similar themed fics all at once, so it's easier to get missed. At least that's been my experience. Roman Holiday has always been one of my favorite romance movies, so I really enjoyed writing this one.