#I genuinely love how that is about 40% of what my blog is now

[inkwolvesandcoffee]

Coy Messages & New Love (Daddy Dom!John Price on Tumblr Headcanons)

Or: More headcanons for a story I might write someday.

CoD Masterlist

Username: CaptainBear

He’s a soft Daddy Dom but with a rough edge. So is it any surprise John is very possessive yet also genuinely caring?

And kinda heartbroken you don’t live in England despite coming across as British.

Is always the first to like your posts.

And despite the rules you set, especially the DNI if you’re 40+ (in my mind, John is about 42), you allow him to interact with your content.

Because there’s something drawing you to him, something inexplicable that craves his attention. Something that keeps you hoping there’s a chance.

Your heart almost leaps out of your chest when you receive a notification.

CaptainBear sent you a message.

CaptainBear: Hey, I just wanted to say I thoroughly enjoy your blog and you seem like a very darling girl. And pretty to boot! You probably won’t respond to this and that’s fine, but I thought I’d finally gather the courage to pop in and tell you.

CaptainBear: Also, if I may be blunt, seeing you wear that choker in combination with that bunny shirt makes it very difficult to think. If you were at base with me, I don’t think I’d be of any use. Mission planning would be nigh on impossible.

(your_username): Base? What do you do for a living?

CaptainBear: I’m in the military. Captain.

(your_username): Wow, seriously?! That’s incredible! But, with all due respect, what is a man like you doing in a place like this?

CaptainBear: Satisfying my curiosity. Maybe on a mission to find something.

(your_username): Which is?

CaptainBear: Companionship. With luck, yours.

(your_username): What’s your name, soldier? If you tell me, I’ll see what I can do.

CaptainBear: It’s John. Sorry, should’ve mentioned that. Quite a generic name too, I know.

(your_username): It’s alright, John. Is it short for anything or just John?

CaptainBear: It’s short for Jonathan, but only my Mum calls me that.

(your_username): But what if I did?

CaptainBear: God, you’ve got no idea how much I now want to hear you say it.

(your_username): Maybe someday you will.

He regularly checks up on you, even multiple times a day. Look, John just wants to make sure you ate, stay hydrated, and are healthy.

When he's on leave, it's not uncommon to get a message from him accompanied by a picture of a pint with the context he's at a pub with his pals. More often than not, it's followed by a confession he'd rather spend the evening with you.

Loves it when you send him photos, especially to show off new lingerie you bought.

Thrives on the knowledge he gets to see more of you than anyone else and loves the thought you’re showing others what they can’t have.

Because it’s all his.

Has confessed to jerking off to them… a lot.

Shares little bits of his day with you. He’d be at a bookshop and ask you to pick something for him to read or your recommendations. Or he’ll be cooking and be struck with curiosity because what is your favourite food? What do you like to eat?

CaptainBear: Y/N, I made a brownie.

(your_username): Oh, is it any good?

The photo he sends you answers the question. Nevertheless, just to be sure and give him the chance to give context, you send a follow-up question. (your_username): Did you use 90% cocoa chocolate or is it…

CaptainBear: It’s burnt… so now you know I can’t bake. I’m a man of many talents, but baking isn’t one.

(your_username): I’m sure you more than make up for it otherwise, sir.

CaptainBear: You’ll find out when we meet, my dear.

Assures you that when he’s away on deployment he’s not making up a lie to be with another. And in order to prove that, John will sneak in photos to show you he’s really in Iraq or wherever else.

Drives the task force up the wall because he gets quite lovey dovey in private.

Leaves compliments on your posts which are laced with possessiveness and his obsession with you (my pretty Dollie, sweet little thing, etc.) on your posts. He tags you in photos and reblogs too to let you know what he's into, thinks you like, and hopes for your relationship and possible future.

Furthermore, he also shows you claimed him via reblogs and by stating he’s ‘taken and proudly devoted to (your_username)’ in his blog’s bio (even before he's asked for your submission, which he is pretty sure you'll give him. Until then, it's a way to stave off unwanted attention).

Gets especially gooey with lust and affection when you show him the plushies you’ve crocheted (totally not saying this because I crochet, haha). Like, he’ll immediately brighten when he sees a '(your_username): John (and occasionally sir or even Daddy later down the line), look at this!' followed by a photo of you snuggling with your new animal buddy.

As time passes by and you two get to know each other in more ways than one, you finally decide to meet. The moment you tell John you booked a train to London during the time he’s on leave he’s overjoyed. Ecstatic even.

The moment you enter King’s Cross, he spots you and practically runs over to wrap you up in a warm bear hug before you can get so much as a greeting out. The only sound you make is a surprised squeal as he lifts you up and twirls you around. “My little lady, finally home.”

At last, you regain your voice. “Hello to you too, Jonathan.”

Though he loathes hearing anyone else use his full name, he melts on the spot when you do. Moreover, he’s flattered you remembered the promise he thought was an empty one, a fleeting wish.

Turned into a dream come true.

Takes you out for coffee and Build-A-Bear as a first date the day after because your first day together gets lost to unpacking and settling into the Hackney townhouse he calls ‘home’. Lost to getting the messages (holding hands all the while), learning how each of you likes their coffee, what his favourite cigars are, what your favourite food is.

Lost to the feeling of what it’ll be like to live together.

It’s surprisingly much easier for John to tune into you than he expected. Henceforth, he picks up on the hesitation that underlines your movements, the slight shudder in your lips while he tries his best not to get completely lost in you.

“We don’t have to do this,” he hastily says between kisses, needing to get the words out before you start something you won’t want to finish.

“No, I want to, John. I want you.” You told him you’re a virgin and have given off clues that the concept of actually having sex is, to be honest, quite frightening. Nevertheless, you’ve put your trust in him and feel secure in his touch, his embrace.

“I know, love, but I mean that we don’t, shouldn’t even, have sex if you don’t want to.” His features soften. “Don’t do it if you feel like you need to to please me because you don’t. I’ll wait for when you’re ready. I told you before, this isn’t about sex or the dynamic. I love you. Love who you, you as a person, are and I don’t want to pressure you into doing anything you don’t want.”

After reassuring him and giving him your consent explicitly multiple times, he picks you up and carries you to the bedroom.

Tries to be gentle the first time, but ends up being rough anyway. He’s utterly enchanted, nay, enthralled by how you look, unraveling over and over again.

All because of him.

Nonetheless, John refuses to cum inside you until you’re on birth control and he has bought a box of proper condoms.

“It’s not that I don’t want to have sex with you or cum inside. Believe me, I do, every minute of the day. Drives me fucking mad, but,” he caresses your hair as he pries your legs away from his waist, ”I have to think about your health as well.”

You don’t protest, don’t want to after a soft kiss on the forehead and a husky “I’m sorry, love”. In response, you lightly squeeze his arm and shake your head. “Don’t apologise. I also won’t force you to do things you don’t want to do. Though it’s nice.”

“What is?”

“You looking out for me.”

“‘Course I do,” John snaps into you, picking up the pace again that has you seeing stars, “I’m your captain. Your man. Your bear.”

Those very words, combined with his warm presence, tips you over the edge.

A content echo of his name fills the room, rings in his ears as a satisfied sigh falls from your lips and tears stain your cheeks. It’s this image of chaotic beauty, of gorgeous ruination, which almost makes him break his promise. Nonetheless, after a few more sharp thrusts, he pulls out. Thick creamy white spurts draw an intricate pattern on your skin.

His mark.

John rests his forehead against yours, basking in the afterglow. “I love you.”

Today and the many days he hopes are ahead of you.

[dontyouworrydaddy]

First of all, I love your blog so much, on god. I never fail to read every single one of your posts. You're a blessing to the COD simps community. Secondly, I'd like to request a female reader this time. Usually, I ask for GN, so that everyone can feel included. Please, TF 141, Konig (and Vaqueros too if it's ok) with a gf / wife who is a pro gamer. Like she can play any video game at the highest difficulty with ease, solo dungeons and even the occasional raid in MMOs and just destroys everyone in every fight. She even has a Twitch and YouTube account and she's one of the most popular streamers out there. She prefers FPS (but RPGs too) because she genuinely likes them, but also as a way to pay tribute to her military man. Women have an unfair reputation of being bad gamers and I hate it because it's completely false. My roommate is a beast of a gamer. Thank you so much and sorry for the long ass ask.

𝐑𝐨𝐥𝐞 𝐦𝐨𝐝𝐞𝐥

Task Force 141 (+König & Los Vaqueros) + fem! Reader

NORA, HAVE I TOLD YOU THAT I LOVE YOU? You got no idea how much this made me smile and blush. I totally look like an idiot right now. THIS IS SO CUTE😖😖😖

I‘m a gamer too and let’s say… we only get hate. ESPECIALLY ON COD. Last night I had my voice chat on for the first time and oh boy… the things I heard…

"go back to the kitchen"

"What hacks do you use"

"No way a female is good at this game"

blablabla. I was like 😃 damn sensitive asf boys.

THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR THE ASK AND I HOPE YOU LIKE IT💘💘💘

✥﹤┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈﹥✥

König

In the world of all the professional gamers all time, your name was always mentioned. Thousands of videos exist about you and your skills. Streamers were honored if they got to 1 vs 1 you, because that would mean that they get to flex by saying they were able to play with you. Even through they’d loose. Your name was known worldwide and so many people were looking up to you.

König admired you. He had always admired your talents and watched your streams with a mixture of awe and pride in the living room while you were live in your gaming room.

One day, your chat buzzed with excitement and cheers. You wondered why they were freaking out because you were having a chat with your fans. The chat was completely going crazy as they all asked the same thing:

Y/N got a boyfriend?

Please tell me it’s just her brother😔

IS THAT A MAN? IN HER HOUSE?

As you turn around you can see König in the corner of your room. He probably forgot you were still streaming and he looks as confused as you do. "Hey love" you finally said, causing the chat to literally explode. König comes a little closer and kisses your forehead. "Just wanted to ask if you wanna eat something" König says and tries to hide himself as good as he can. His heart definitely started beating faster than a few moments before. "hmmm… yes!" you reply and take a look at the chatscreen and see the the people waiting for you to confirm.

"Yes, he's my man" you said, your voice tinged with affection and pride, sharing your secret with your viewers.

König, caught off guard but unable to hide his emotions, blushed slightly, his heart swelling with love and admiration for you. He stepped back into view, leaning in to give you a gentle kiss on the cheek, which you welcomed with a radiant smile.

The chat erupted into a frenzy of supportive messages as your viewers reveled in the heartwarming moment.

Simon Riley

It was a usual day and you were 40 minutes into your stream but you noticed that the chat was talking about someone behind you. Curiosity piqued, you glanced over your shoulder and couldn't suppress a grin as you saw Simon, standing there and watching you from afar. He probably doesn’t know that they can all see him, not his face though.

You turned around and gave him one of your sweet smiles which he returned. "You know that they can see you right?" you tell him and by his facial expression you can see that he didn’t know it.

Without missing a beat, you turned to the camera and addressed your chat with a smile, "Well everyone" you said "meet my man!"

The chat erupted with excitement and hearts, and you could almost feel the virtual cheers cheering through the screen. There were a lot of comments about you two now. There were also comments about his frame and by reading those, you could feel your cheeks heating up.

John MacTavish

Today you streamed on Twitch and planned on playing destiny 2. You planned on playing it again since it made so much fun last time.

However, like always John wanted to stay hidden from the camera but still wanted to watch you play while reading some reaction from the chat. Your viewers never knew about him. I mean, how could they when he tried to hide as best as he can.

But fate had different plans that day. His arms occurred with your camera, revealing the glimpse of a man sitting next to you. The chat erupted with curiosity and in that moment, you knew you wouldn’t be able to hide it anymore. John read the comments too and waved at the camera but still not showing himself fully. You let out a small laugh and hugged his arm slightly. "That’s my boyfriend" you clarified and the chat was exploding with excitement.

John Price

One day, as your Twitch chat buzzed with excitement, a curious viewer noticed a familiar figure standing behind you in the frame. "Hey, who's that?" the chat exploded and you knew you wouldn’t be able to hide it anymore since John was able to do anything but stay quiet while you’re streaming.

A smile graced your lips, knowing it was time to introduce the world to the man who held your heart. "Oh, that's my man" you said nonchalantly, knowing the chat would go wild.

In an instant, John's face took a red shade and you could feel his heart melt. He thought that you might be embarrassed to show him but clearly you’re not. He came a little closer to you and the chat got a little clearer view of him and everyone was complimenting him.

With a smile, John leaned in, planting a tender kiss on your cheek. The chat erupted with cheers and hearts, seeing their favorite streamer be so in love was making them happy.

"you guys are so cute together!" was what almost everyone was typing into the chat and you couldn’t help but feel so happy right now.

Kyle Garrick

As one of the most popular streamers on Twitch, you had an enormous following of fans who eagerly tuned in to witness your gaming skills. The thrill of conquering challenging dungeons, soloing difficult quests, and leading epic raids in MMOs kept your viewers on the edge of their seats.

Your love for gaming ran deep, not just for the joy it brought you but because it somehow reminded you of your boyfriend. Kyle was always supporting you and he loved you in your darkest times. He was your motivation to keep going even when you didn’t want to sometimes.

As you streamed while playing Until dawn and the chat was exploding with excitement as someone noticed a figure moving behind your camera setup and mentioned it, which caused the others to see the man behind you too. You stopped the game and looked behind you. It was Kyle standing there with a plate of food and an iced coffee in his hands. You couldn’t help but melt on spot at the sight of him.

"So everyone !" you said, your voice filled with affection. "Looks like my special someone decided to make a cameo appearance. Say hello to man!"

In that moment, the chat exploded with greetings and cheers, expressing their love and support for the unexpected guest. Meanwhile, Kyle's cheeks flushed with a hint of shyness, never quite used to being in the spotlight.

"Uh, hey there, everyone," he stammered placing the plate on your desk along with your drink and a smile playing on his lips. "These are for you, love. Thought you might get hungry after a while."

As the chat continued to shower both of you with love, you couldn't help but steal a glance at Kyle. His presence, even virtually, filled you with warmth and reassurance. Without hesitation, he leaned in, placing a tender kiss on your cheek.

The chat exploded with even more excitement as they witnessed the affectionate gesture.

Alejandro

Among your many followers on Twitch and YouTube, there was one person who held a special place in your heart - Alejandro. Your boyfriend who supports you and who was always by your side when you needed him.

You were streaming your latest gameplay, the chat was buzzing with excitement and admiration for your skills. But a man behind the camera caught everyones attention. The chat was now questioning who it is and needed clarification.

A playful grin spread across your face as you glanced over at Alejandro, who had come to support you during your stream.

With a touch of mischief in your voice, you replied, "Oh, that handsome man? He's my soon to be husband."

A faint blush spread across his cheeks, but he leaned in and gave you a gentle kiss on the cheek, right in front of the camera. The chat went wild with excitement, and you couldn't help but laugh at the adorable reaction.

"See, I told you," you teased playfully. "They love you almost as much as I do."

Rudy

As a popular Twitch and YouTube streamer, your skill and charisma drew in countless fans and followers. The chat would explode with excitement whenever you embarked on a new gaming adventure. It was during one of these electrifying streams that fate intervened.

The chat was lively as always, filled with adoring fans and cheering supporters. You were in the zone, showcasing your skills in a competitive FPS match. Little did you know, a surprise was in store for you. Unbeknownst to you, Rudy had entered the room and was watching you from behind the camera.

One of your fans in the chat noticed him, a smile stretching across their face as they typed, "Hey, who's that handsome guy behind the camera?"

You chuckled, casually replying, "Oh, that's my man Rudy."

The chat erupted with excitement, filled with a chorus of "Awws" and many many compliments. Rudy, initially a little taken aback, couldn't help but blush at the overwhelming show of support and affection for both of you.

[velvees-archive]

TGAA 1-2 Spoilers (Live Blog)!

at the time i’m posting this, i have something to confess: i am currently on TGAA 1-4. i wrote most of this while i was on 1-2 so it’ll still have that real-time accuracy, but i don’t know how i flew through TGAA. it took me a long time to get through 1-2 and then i ate 1-3 up in one sitting and i’m now almost done (i think) with the 1-4 day 1 investigation. i’ll also still post my 1-3 breakdown + some 1-3 reactions bc those are already drafted.

this game is peak. the pacing is rocky and some segments drag on, but i am more than willing to stomach the lows when the highs are as high as this.

i did have various reactions to 1-2 which i will link here, here, and here, so let’s get into the meat of this case. warning: copious amts of glazing ahead!!!

i am in complete awe. this case gave me everything i could’ve asked for and then some. it is impossible to stress this enough, but being funny goes a long way in an ace attorney game. in any media, actually. maybe shu takumi has a really good grasp on humor and comedic timing. maybe it’s the other writers or the localization team that give TGAA that extra oomf. whatever the case, i’ve laughed out loud so many times while playing 1-2, the same way you’d laugh at everything your crush says bc you think they’re kinda neat and sometimes maybe a little funny and-

i will say that the case started incredibly slow despite the reveal abt who died (already talked abt that but ouch?), but considering this case introduced one of the most popular characters in the franchise, slow build up is to be expected. i’ve seen the name “herlock sholmes” around and he did NOT disappoint, especially when he abandoned the silliness and locked the fuck in at the case’s climax. it’s actually peak.

speaking of characters that don’t disappoint, while susato’s presence starts out unimpressive in 1-2, she quickly becomes one of 1-2’s most entertaining characters. they have never missed w the judicial assistants EVER. i love my weird girls and susato is no exception. there are a lot of emotional moments in her dialogue that convey how much respect she had for kazuma. it’s in the music, the word choice, and the sprite usage. i can’t believe how well this game gets characters’ emotions across with the few dialogue boxes they’re afforded. sometimes less really is more.

i got chills during the lead up to the confession. everything that happened was unfortunate, really. i’m bitter bc of how kazuma’s death played out, but god, the logic was good. no doubt in my mind that kazuma was going to consult w ryunosuke instead of ratting pavlova out. i know i keep saying this but the reveal is peak. we’re only on the second case but the characters feel so alive. the atmosphere is fantastic. and again, herlock sholmes actually knows how to lock in!

ryunosuke is written wonderfully in this. you can feel his grief/frustration; more than once, i felt ready to tear my hair out bc of how uncooperative everyone else was being. it is unbelievably cruel to accuse him of murdering his best friend.

i will admit that i expected a court segment and didn’t get that, but you know what i DID get?

this, which, arguably, has way more character!! ALSO! the inspector is back! and did i mention i love herlock sholmes? i love herlock sholmes!!!

in a not-so-smooth segue into character relationships, the depth of ryunosuke and kazuma’s devotion towards one another genuinely leaves me breathless. there’s nothing i like to see explored in media more than a bond like theirs. i was and am a firm satosugu shipper; that should say a lot already!

this isn’t to say that i ship them (though, as with most ships, i do keep an open mind). what i’m really trying to explain is how taken i am with ryunosuke’s loyalty towards kazuma and kazuma’s complete and total faith in ryunosuke. ryunosuke decides to cram study law for 40 grueling days so kazuma’s dream can live on through him. the last thing kazuma thinks about before he dies is ryunosuke, because he trusts him so much he sought his opinion on how to move forward w pavlova’s situation. we as the player don’t have much time to get to know kazuma yet takumi manages to sell their relationship in a way the second trilogy couldn’t sell many of theirs. i am deeply moved. this is so poetic and indicative of an otherworldly kind of love.

i’d also like to take this moment to double down on what i said about kazuma’s katana and his soul, which finds itself in ryunosuke’s possession at the end of the case. SYMBOLISM!

i was holding onto some hope that kazuma faked his death, tho i see that’s probably not possible now? i mean, two people were jailed for his murder. surely he wouldn’t agree to involve innocent people. he’s much too noble for it….

unless, ofc, the thing he absolutely had to accomplish in london forced him to abandon his morals.

ik what you’re thinking: bro’s still coping? and to that i say, yes. yes i am. even tho what we’ve seen of kazuma goes against what i’m saying, i am. do i actually believe my own bs? questionable.

there are definitely things i’m missing, like how the many great deductions + that whole thing abt letting someone’s gaze lead elucidates what kazuma was up to during his final moments…that is A MASTERCLASS on big reveals. beautifully done. there are other things to praise like susato’s fixation w keeping things orderly + her fangirling over sholmes. i love how she extracts knowledge from infobooks and silly magazines. there’s so much depth to her character.

i leave the case with mixed feelings abt the killer. she’s just a kid but god why did she have to assume? at the same time, though, her quick thinking was the difference between life and death for her. i am clawing at my walls!!!

CASE VERDICT: 8.5/10

i love this game.

[srbachchan]

DAY 5602

Jalsa, Mumbai                June 19/20,  2023                  Mon/Tue 12:40 AM

🪔 .. June 20 .. birthday happiness to Ef Arshad Khan .. Ef Nouna from Egypt .. and Ef JANAK Agarwal ..

And .. to Ef Anjali .. greetings for your 21st Marriage Anniversary on June 20 .. love and togetherness ..

My affection for all the wonder days of the Ef above .. and my greetings to all .. a joy and ever a pleasure to get an opportunity to wish and greet .. assisted ably by the CALENDAR .. and the assiduous efforts of the Ef that send in , with great dexterity, the reminder to me for the wishes .. some that even I do not have on my calendar .. so I follow the Ef .. as must I should .. !

BUT ..

A request .. 

The informed Ef , that informs also through their kindness, gives me details of not just birthdays but several other events in the lives of the Ef .. which is a delight .. however, now the Ef ask for some challenging requests to be put up on the Blog .. 

Remember ..

My effort to wish is from my heart .. a desire .. not a routine .. so .. some ask for other days that are of importance to the Ef to be put up as well .. and some, rather odd ones as well - which I do not wish to make public here .. 

Your demand may be legitimate .. but my reason is not governed by legitimacy .. it is governed entirely by heart .. please do not guide my heart for you .. if and when it comes and I get appreciation , fine .. but I do not seek appreciation .. I do not seek anything .. when I started , did any know that this aspect shall also be a part of the Blog .. ? it was a feel .. a wish of some genuineness from within .. do not give it a nomenclature of a drafted legal document .. and a demand .. !!

And as I write these expressions to you .. I open quite unknowingly the book that lies beside me - a collection of letters written by Babuji , to one who has printed them .. and I find remarkably the very first page I open , quite coincidentally , replies and responses from Babuji to the printer of the book, matter, that is so very close to what I have just written and mentioned above on wishes and writings on the Blog .. 

Let me elaborate on it .. 

His letter responses  :

the letter writer asked him  ..  Othello, a great play of Shakespeare .. how do you write it, why do you write it .. and Babuji responded by saying 

how do you write ? I write just the way I write this letter  !

why do I write ? the reason why I write this letter  ..

if someone asks me something , then I write to reply to him .. the person that asks me may be or could be, just in my mind .. there are questions from those other than that .. those from out of this , outside .. the rest of the news is quite ordinary .. with love .. Bachchan 

Haha .. just too smart a response .. 🤣

Next :

the letter writer, asked Babuji in his letter to him about ‘why’ was , or ‘how’ was the Tulsidas Ramayan written  .. to which Babuji replied ..

the one that writes intelligent, to show his dexterity in difficult words, impressive words and expressions, gives evidence of the fact that his mind is not entirely clear  .. ‘why’ did Tulsidas write the  Ramayan, ‘how’ was it written, could be the ‘study or intelligent required knowledge’ , the intelligentsia, of some limited critics .. most of the people know that Tulsidas wrote the Ramayan .. when ‘what’ has no component, no element, then to beat the drums of ‘why’ and ‘how’ does not give any meaning of any relevance  !!  

hahah .. touché

Next :

the writer of the letter asked Babuji in his letter .. why don’t you write your autobiography .. to which Babuji replied .. 

I write poetry, have written hundreds of them and keep writing .. I have written in my work job as Officer on Special Duty, in the Ministry of External Affairs, all the official Government documents translated by me .. I have written my thesis on WB Yates in English .. I have translated Shakespeare in the language and graph of the bard, in spoken Hindi .. I have translated Russian Poets , and several other prominent language works .. I have written the Gita in the language and graph of the Tulsidas Ramayan .. now you ask me to write my biography .. so a couplet  in Urdu .. 

should I indulge in love , or indulge in remembering khuda, God Almighty ; in this limited life of mine what all should I do O ! Almighty .. 

or words to that effect .. the exact meaning is very difficult to translate .. translations are never pure .. 

SO .. to come to the point in giving you these examples from Babuji  .. I work so much in different fields of creativity .. I do adverts .. I do stage shows .. I do recitations .. I do music and voice overs .. I do son e lumiere of various architectural wonders of India .. I do so much more in fields I do not wish to mention .. 

HOW MUCH MORE DO YOU WISH ME TO DO .. !!! 

in replying or mentioning the Ef requests ..

my love as ever ..

Amitabh Bachchan

[unforth]

I've been trying for ages to figure out how to put something into words about The Youth In Fandom and I still don't think I've quite got it but I did reach an insight about it that I think is valuable enough that I'm gonna take a stab at writing it.

For starters, I want to make it clear, there is no "The Youth In Fandom Problem." Based on my efforts running the art sideblogs for danmei fandoms, I can say with a fair degree of confidence that a vast minority of people of all ages are antis, purity wankers, pro-censorship, ageist, etc. Even among people who mark their bios with their age, it's a shockingly low percentage of people under 18 who are being super weird about this stuff, and I think that's something a lot of older folks bemoaning The Younger Generation could stand to know and be reminded of. This isn't a majority, it's just a vocal minority, and tbh...that vocal minority has always been there, at least in my own fandom experiences.

That said, I've personally been the target of "y r u in fandom, old woman? Go take care of your kids!" bullshit, and yes it's definitely real and yes it definitely happens. (I am not old, I am not a woman, I was here before the people who said that to me were born, and I spend all the rest of my time taking care of my kids, so...).

All that introduction is to posit a theory:

The kinds of people who say "you should grow out of it, you're too old for fandom, etc." don't actually really...like what they like.

I know that sounds batshit. They're here blogging about it 24/7, of course they're obsessed! But I really genuinely find myself wondering...like...are they actually obsessed? Or are they just performing obsessed because that's what their peer group is doing? Are they just following along with their friends, mimicking their friends' enthusiasm, going with the flow because they're scared of what will happen if they say "actually I didn't think that show was very good"?

I ended up with this as a theory to posit because is to arrive at "you should grow out of it," you have to start with "I will grow out of it." And to get to "I will grow out of it," you have to start with "I may be into this now but I will definitely Change." And to get to "I will definitely Change," you have to start with the base assumption that loving certain types of media isn't just part of who you are, but rather a temporary persona you've assumed overlaying some deeper Self that will be revealed with time - or that's already been revealed and that you're deliberately masking for whatever reason.

Lemme put it less abstractly (but more longwindedly, lmao).

When I was 16, I was fucking terrified. There were all these things I loved - Star Trek, Hercules and Xena, Babylon 5, Slayers, Evangelion, Fushigi Yuugi, the Wheel of Time, many others - some I'd been into for years, some I'd only just discovered. And I looked at the adults in the world around me, who didn't sleep with stuffed toys, who got into long-term romantic and sexual relationships, who settled into careers that they stuck with for 20, 30, 40 years, who had heaps of responsibilities, and it was so frightening I literally had trouble sleeping at night. My senior year of high school, I trained myself to sleep with a pillow instead of a stuffie because "what would people in college think if they saw me snuggling a stuffed wolf?" That was something I was prepared to sacrifice to be An Adult (tm), something I was (irrationally) ashamed of, something that wasn't so much a part of my personhood that I couldn't give it up. When I left home to go to school at 17, I left my wolf at home. (I brought him with me a year later, and he's now on my bookshelf. Less disposable than 16-year-old me thought, as it turns out, but that's another story.) But there were things about myself I wasn't prepared to sacrifice to fit in during college. I still wore my Star Wars shirt. I still hung my anime posters. I still listened to J Pop. My roommate might judge me. My classmates might judge me. My professors might judge me. I didn't care. Loving those were part of who I was, and I wasn't prepared to give that up.

I found solace by looking at the adults in my life who hadn't had to give up their "childish fancies." I looked at my mother, who introduced me to Star Trek, and thought if she didn't have to stop loving Star Trek to be An Adult, then why should I? I looked at my grandfather, on whose bookshelves I first found the Lord of the Rings, and thought if he didn't have to give up LotR to be An Adult, then why should I? They might not wear fandom shirts, they might not go to conventions, they might not engage in the same way that I did, but they still loved these things, and it gave me hope.

When I was saw adults who still did fan things, who dressed how they wanted, who had cool hair styles or colors, who had tattoos, I thought "wow, what a cool person. I hope I get to grow up to be like them. I hope I'll be that comfortable in my own skin when I'm that age, because I'm sure not that comfortable in my own skin NOW."

I'll have to change in some ways - find A Career, figure out this "attraction" thing everyone keeps fucking talking about, buy a house, all the rest - but I'll be able to love the things I love.

I will still be "me" when I'm an adult, just Me-Plus-More.

I wanted to grow up to be that adult. I was prepared to take figurative arrows, to fight, to slog through, to retain the part of me that felt most valuable - my ability to love the things I loved without apologizing for it. And I knew I could do that, because I already had. Man, the shit people gave me in middle school for being an out-and-proud Trekkie? smh. It was baaaaad.

Time passes. Now I'm 40, and yes, I have changed. I've had more than one career. I got married. I figured out I never did have to figure out that "attraction" shit because I learned asexuality existed and. uh. Oh. I had children. I bought a house.

And I still have a bookcase of manga and I still have a Tumblr blog and I've found new fandoms - many, many new fandoms - nearly all for franchises that didn't even exist when I was 16 and so so scared that I used to literally break down and cry over the prospect of "having" to "give up childish things."

I got myself through on the belief that I'd still be me, and I was right. More than 20 years later, I AM still me.

And that's what leads me back to "why do The Youth think they'll age out of fandom?" And it leads me back to "I can only assume their fandom participation is mostly performative." Because look. This is who I was when I was 10 and read Lord of the Rings, and it was who I was when I was 12 and I started watching Star Trek when Voyager debuted, and it's who I was when I was 17 and I pulled an all-nighter to watch the second season of Fushigi Yuugi, and it's who I was when I was 21 and spent my birthday totally sober and gaming with my friends, and it's who I was at 26 when I got buried up to my eyeballs in Supernatural, and it's who I was at 37 when I watched The Untamed and knew as easy as breathing oh my god I've found the next obsession.

If it's an embraced, realized, adored part of your persona, there's absolutely no reason to think it's going to go away. And there's no reason nor need for it to. There are always gonna be people who judge others for having passions, and there are always gonna be people who embrace others for having passions, and you just gotta identify and avoid the former and find and adore the latter. If you're young, and you love fandom, and you're afraid you, too, will "have to" give up childish things...congratulations! You've got nothing to be afraid of! You never have to change that aspect of yourself!

But...I know these teens on Tumblr who are bullying others already know that because they can see us everywhere. And instead of going, as I did, "oh wow, those older people who still love the things they love are cool! how reassuring! I can be like them!" they think "EW OLD PERSON NOT ALLOWED THIS IS MY ROOM DO NOT ENTER."

And that's weird. When I try to think, "What kind of mentality would lead someone to feel that way, act that way, etc.?" I arrive at: being in fandom is something that they're embarrassed about. Something they're ashamed of, that they think is shameful. Something childish and therefore only for kids, even when the media they're a fan of is entirely made for and by adults. Something they think is made for them in that moment but that they'll be able to easily discard when they move on to more important parts of their lives. Something they know in their heart is transient. Something they're just doing because their friends are doing it.

That's when they'd think "why would an adult still do this?"

When it's something you "know" will be "just a phase," you don it like you don the identity of "high school student," something that'll get shucked a minute after graduation.

And while I found the idea of giving up fandom terrifying, I again can only assume that for these type of person, NOT giving up fandom becomes something terrifying. "Of course this is transient. Of course I'm going to change. I can't wait to change, I hate who I am now! Why did these so-called adults not change? Changing to not like this kind of thing is a sign of Maturity and Adulthood that I am eagerly waiting for, because I believe there's something wrong with being this way, and therefore I assume the adults I see doing this are immature, have something wrong with them, are childish, cannot be Doing Adulthood Right, because they didn't give up the thing."

"I know, in my heart, that I can't WAIT to change, so if they don't want to change, if they haven't changed, something must be wrong with them."

And don't get me wrong, I'm not saying this is the only reason. People are way too complex for there ever to be One Explanation Of All. I'm sure some of the teens who engage in ageist bullying just think they're ~cool~ and ~different~ and their name is Ebony Dark'ness Dementia Raven Way. Others are just uncomfortable with adults, with or without cause, and think "you don't belong in the same space as me." Some surely have drank the conservative kool-aid even as they've tried to change and are pantomiming the bullshit they were fed by those around them in new and unpleasant ways. Some think "this media was made for people like me and anyone who isn't like me can't possibly be engaging it in the Correct And Proper Way."

Some will grow out of it - out of fandom, or out of thinking that being an adult in fandom is wrong/bad/inappropriate/immature/whatever.

A few especially unpleasant ones...won't.

Unlike young!me, who looked at fannish grown ups and thought "wow, I could grow up to be like them, they're so cool!", you think "ew, I hope I don't grow up to be like them, they're so weird!"

And if that's you...why are you here?

If you don't actually like who are you when you're in fandom, that's okay. You don't have to stay. If you lose your friends because your interests change, then those friends stink and you didn't need them anyway; people who actually care about you will always keep by your side even if your interests and theirs diverge. But just cause YOU are performing your interest in fandom...doesn't mean the rest of us are. Some of us genuinely like it here. And you might think that's fucked up of us, but it's honestly none of your fucking business. You do what you gotta do to grow up, and leave the rest of us already-grown-ups alone.

And if you do genuinely love it and you're just scared because you think you'll have to change - that you'll reach some mystical age of majority and suddenly wake up a different person...you won't. For better and for worse, you'll still be you, so if there's things about yourself you don't like, it'd be better to start working on unpacking that psychological baggage now, because there's never gonna be a miracle point where you Feel Better And Like An Adult unless you put in the effort to change.

Teenagers...you will not grow up to be a new person. You will never give up who you are. You will grow up to be You-Plus-More.

And if that's something you hear and go "omg that's great news!" then I'm glad to be the one who told you. Take heart. There's hope. You can be you and that WILL be okay. You can face up to and grow from the things about yourself you don't like. You can learn more about yourself. You have time, and you will be able to improve yourself, to become more like the parts of yourself you like and less like the parts you hate.

And if that's something you hear and go "oh god no that's the worst" then you need to stare that reaction in the face and understand that the only way change is coming is if you make it happen for yourself. No one is strong-arming you into being a fan. If it's not for you...then stop. It's literally that easy. But don't take out your uncertainty and fear on other random people who are more comfortable with themselves than you are. Most of us are not here because of fear. We're here in the face of our fear, as a fuck you to our fear, because we also grew up being told we'd have to give up so-called childish things to be An Adult, and it turns out that was a pile of bullshit and we can have careers AND anime posters. And we can afford more anime posters, cause our parents are no longer telling us how to spend our money.

If your participation in fandom is primarily performative...just stop performing. Be yourself, and find your OWN passion, and stop shitting on the people who have managed to be more true to themselves and their own interests. You're not cool and edgy and different; you're just an asshole and a bully, and I pity you.

Anyway as you can tell from this rambly mess of a post, I haven't really gotten my finger on my point yet, but idk. I've been thinking about this and I think there's something there???

[run2seob]

5 things you like about 5 of your moots?

turned from subtly fangirling to "i'm (not)subtly in love with u and your blog" but thank u for the ask bcs i have an excuse to >:)

@gyuletters

her ability to write a variety of genres without using cliches

her kindness ^^ she's always complimenting accounts and writng the best reblogs

her theme (it's soo pretty) and how well it represents her. star's personality is so sweet and i feel like her theme reflects that

she comes up with the best prompts too! like i'm envious of her brain

how comforting her fics are (and binge worthy~)

@junoswrlld

even before me and juno became close, they were so so kind to me T0T

her ability to pace herself and balance her fics and personal life (i genuinely could not do this like.. admirable, seriously)

her crack ficshehsh they're so good >< she makes chapters leave you with suspense every time

how many memes she finds. it's one of my fav things because how do i wake up to 40 cat and scrimbo memes 😭

how reliable she is!! i can trust her with my fics and spoilers and it's so nice :> she gives motivation and gained my trust so easily :')

@mazeinthemoon

i can't believe i only have to do five?? i need more space to write about how moon writes. the way emotion is captured into her writing is filled with suspense but also comfort? like, in between dialogue, there's those quotes that you replay in your mind over and over again because how could someone think of that?

^^ adding onto this, the way she incorporates figurative language into her text perfectly captures the moment. it's not blatant and keeps the sentence flow which is impressive. as a writer i respect moon even more because even i struggle with that T0T

i've said this for everyone but can you blame me? they're all kind, moon included! she's always answering asks in the kindest way

^^ additionally, the way she types is so cute. and by this i mean kaomojis and emoticons. i love emoji faces so much hehe

best for last ofc~ her fics in general! glitter and the goalie both had me hooked. like essay long notes and annotations. i might reread glitter because of how on the edge it had me and bcs of her recent post.. detective reader activated >:)

@hueningsloverr

RHIA'S ANGST. that's shakespeare's child now, seriously. the way she writes angst is beautiful.. but like beautiful in a way where it feels like a pretty statue of a little girl crying but it's beautiful. beautiful in the way where it hurts but is pretty... makes you cry tears bcs of how well it was written yk?

the way she views things is soo beautiful. like in her reblogs and how she views songs. (could write an essay) when she wrote txt x time in a bottle it fit with the boys perfect and was just so pretty. there's so many quotes i remmeber and trust i'm not forgetting

i'm gonna make these shorter but how many ideas she comes up with. i could never T0T

her themeee

i wished i talk to her more!! i'm always scared to talk to my moots but i love her pseonality i would be so happy to talk to her more but i'm too scared

@huenation

themethemetheme it's so cute

idk if this counts but i was reading their bf beomgyu texts and was listening to hea and read the "oh my god" as the same time as the song said it and can't forget about that 😭

ugh my top 5 comfort fic being soobin meeting yns parents like.. i love this fic so much and ik this isn't recs but they write so well 😭 the moment is always described in the best ways and i can visualize them so well

i don't talk to amor much but i love their posts/txt reblogs ><

and that i wish them happiness. i know a lot of people's posts and writings reflect their emotions, and i just hope they're doing well. everyone has bad times, but it really depends what mindset you approach them with, you know? i just hope they get to smile :)

[shawtythatluvsurgut]

(If you’re a minor: go finish your english assignment, stop being thirsty, and get off this page.)

Welcome to my blog!

Introduction

I’m a dominant feeder from the United States. I’m a chef and I love to cook! Something that I love even more than cooking is feeding and fattening up feedees. I also love cats, nature, and art. I have an Onlyfans, so subscribe to see some spicy content 😈

Note:

Shitty behavior does NOT and will NOT fly here. That includes (but is not limited to): fatphobia, pedophilic behavior, promotion of violence, threats against myself or others, intimidation tactics, misogyny, lying/manipulating, ignoring the feelings of others, homophobia or any other type of bigotry, or attacking the feelings of others. I also will never share nudes with a soul on here because - let’s be real - a lot of mfs on this hellsite are not great people and I’m not down with that. Don’t bring that bullshit here. Don’t ask me to send you nudes. I will say no.

I will stand up for myself and others who I believe I should defend. If you don’t like that, you’re gonna hate it here so you might as well leave. I only want authentic, genuine, honest, good people following this blog. If that’s not you, don’t waste your time because I will see that and I will leave you on delivered. Don’t be rude or pushy; demanding or demeaning in my dms because that’s a great way to get ✨ blocked ✨

I also will not follow you back if you are a blank blog. No hate because I know some of them are not catfish accounts or scammers, but I still don’t trust blank tumblr blogs.

Okay, now that I’ve gotten that out of the way, here’s what you should know about me:

I’m a FFA and I have been for my entire life (The Santa Clause weight gain scene was my awakening and will forever hold a special place in my heart)

I am a feeder who has a feedee irl

I live in AZ

I’m an athlete and have been my whole life (collegiate level track sprinter)

I am bisexual. I like both men and women, but I lean more towards femininity

cats are the cutest animal on the planet

cats are also every other positive adjective you could use to describe a cat

I love my homies (this definitely includes internet-homies of mine) and I will defend them if I feel it necessary

I’m mad short and I’m mad about it. (Five foot three like are you fucking playing with me?! Give me a few more inches at least!!!)

I’m mad strong and can beat you up

I am an artist. My styles are realism, surrealism, and modern. I paint, draw, and write (though, it’s usually sexual fiction that I have kept to myself)

This blog is KINKY AS FUCK. I have a FAT FETISH. If you don’t like that, then leave because I literally did not ask! Here are things I am NOT into. I draw a hard line at these things:

• I am a dom through and through. Don’t send me asks implying otherwise because that makes me uncomfortable.

• ^^^ NO pet names or possessive language (ie: “my princess” or “my piggy”) (I don’t belong to any of you)

• NO age play

• NO rape/sa/abuse fantasies or you will be BLOCKED

• I want to reiterate: NO FATPHOBIA!!! I WILL COME FOR YOUR THROAT!!!!

• I’m not turned on by burps or farts, and especially not unsolicited nudes so please keep that stuff to yourself

• I’m not mean. I swear. I just know how I should be and deserve to be treated. I don’t tolerate bullshit because I don’t have the patience, nor is it my responsibility to teach anyone the basics of respect. Your lesson if you choose to cross my boundaries will be getting blocked by me, and I will simply continue on with my life.

• NO vore

• Not really into the expansion kink

• NO diaper, loli, or little kinks

• Do NOT message me if you are 40+ (because I’m too young for that)

• NO age play

• NO bossxemployee or teacherxstudent power dynamics

• NO death feedism (I stress this one because I want y’all to at least try to be a bit mindful of what you’re consuming large amounts of. I don’t want y’all dying on me)

I AM into:

• feedism

• feedism-related art/writing

• weight gain denial

• force feeding

• Shibari (bondage)

• femboys

• thicc/fat women and men

• submission (to me hehe)

• WEIGHT GAIN!!!!

• belly kink

If you are curious about whether or not I’m into anything not listed here, feel free to ask.

My social media handles are:

Instagram @feedernico

Tumblr @shawtythatluvsurgut

If you follow/message me on there, the same guidelines apply. Don’t try anything malicious over there because you will get exposed and blocked. Please message me on here before/when you request to follow so that I can accept it. If I change my handles at any time or get a new social media, I will update you guys here.

I use the hashtags #ffa #female feeder #fit female feeder and #it me on posts I make of myself. I also watermark every picture of me because I’m not about to deal with catfishing. I don’t fuck with that shady behavior, or any shady behavior. Don’t try to manipulate me because I can see past it. Don’t lie to me because I can see right through it.

Now that all is said and done…

Have fun and keep eating! 😈 I love and appreciate all of my respectful followers and I hope you all have a beautiful life!

[jackoshadows]

Why do you think there’s such a strong fixation on Jonsa? I watched the whole series and didn’t see it. I just finished A Game of Thrones and didn’t see it. I’m a big supporter of Jonerys (although I don’t think Kit and Emilia had very good on-screen chemistry but that was partially due to a bad script) but I’m very curious about the mindset going on with people who enjoy other Jon pairings. I can at least see where people are coming from with Jonrya even if I’ll never be able to see them as anything but siblings. They’re very close and think of each other often but at least in book one, Jon and Sansa’s relationship is non-existent. I guess Jon and Dany’s is even more non-existent, but the show at least planted a seed of what could be, and the same cannot be said of Jonsa

I think you are the nonnie who send me the Dany ask and I always hesitate to answer these (rather sensible and intelligent) asks because you have not finished reading the books and I hate to spoil the story for you 😂!

Have you read Pride and Prejudice? The equivalent of the Jonsa ship would be like shipping Darcy and Jane because one likes Jane Bennet and then argue that Darcy actually falls for sweet, gentle Jane and not Elizabeth and that Darcy/Jane is canonical. And if we disagree with this it’s because we are sexist Jane haters because Jane’s a girly girl. Absurd right? That’s pretty much the absurdity of Jonsa for book readers.

So why is Jonsa so popular? Briefly, Jonsa is the result of Sansa stans not liking the canon suitors the author has given the character in the books for various reasons. They want Arya's canonical relationship with Jon possibly turning into a romance for their favorite character Sansa or they want Jon and Sansa falling in love instead of any future romance between Jon and Dany. Which is why 80% of their blogs is devoted to tearing down Dany and Arya and involves an unrecognizable mess of a character they call Jon Snow.

Sansa is also the typical beautiful girl who is into romance and songs and fashion and knights, feasts and tourneys - that’s why she gets shipped with everyone. I think she’s the most shipped character in this fandom. And that’s always been a thing since this series started in the nineties. SanSan or Sansa/Sandor Clegane (The Hound) was one of the most popular ships of the series and GRRM has even commented on it.

[As an aside the funny thing is that GRRM is trying to subvert tropes and also write romance for the non conventional girls like Brienne and Dany and Arya (Lyanna is the equivalent of Helen of Troy and Arya is a mini Lyanna) and still this fandom disparages girls like Arya as being ‘male-coded’, ugly and undesirable.]

With the show, they totally ignored SanSan (Which makes sense considering Rory McCann was like 40 or something on the show and Turner is so young - the show cannot go where the books do in terms of these relationships) and instead gave Sansa the story of another tertiary character in the North. Combining characters meant that she got dumped into Jon Snow’s plot and now all of a sudden we have these two good looking actors Sophie Turner and Kit Harington sharing scenes and Jonsa is born (Despite their characters fighting and arguing in 90% of their scenes, and Sansa lying and betraying Jon).

Benioff and Weiss’ Sansa fanfiction meant that Sansa now gets all of Arya’s story beats and narrative themes on the show. And instead of treating it like a crack ship/AU fanfiction, they try to shove this ship into the books and attack anyone who tries to point out how absurd this ship is. And despite GRRM insisting that his story is different and going in different directions, they think that the garbage writing of the show is going to happen in the books

I would also like to point out that, from my experience in fandom, most Jon Snow fans don’t ship Jonsa. And I am talking about fans who genuinely like book Jon Snow. Not the one’s who claim to be a Jon fan and their blog is 90% about Sansa.These two characters have nothing to do with each other in the books!

Jonsa is a Sansa ship for and by Sansa stans. Jon is simply a prop there for Sansa to become QITN, get a direwolf Ghost, get her disney princess happy ending with ten babies. Their version of Jon Snow has nothing in common with the book character.

To refer back to my original P&P comparison, to make Darcy fall in love with Jane one would have to change Darcy’s entire personality.  If Darcy falls for Jane’s beauty and gentle nature instead of Elizabeth’s wit and intelligence, then that’s no longer Pride and Prejudice is it? That’s an AU version of Pride and Prejudice. Or fanfiction based on Pride and Prejudice.

A Darcy who falls in love with Jane Bennet is not the Darcy in the story Austen is writing. In the same way a Jon Snow who falls in love with Sansa Stark is not the Jon Snow in the story George R R Martin  is telling.  

For Jonsa shippers their Jon Snow will be repulsed by Arya Stark and does not care for her, only helps out his friends because they are stand ins for Sansa, is shallow and self-loathing because he thinks he’s not good enough for beautiful Sansa who ignored him because he’s a bastard and craves for the approval of the woman who abused him, Catelyn Stark.

In fact, the Jonsa fandom came up with one of the worst, most nonsensical iterations of Jon Snow I have ever seen in all my years in this fandom. Let me introduce you to the horror that is Political!Jon. You can google it.

Political!Jon is Littlefinger 2.0, a sociopath who will pretend to love Daenerys to get her dragons, deceive her and then kill her, all his true love Sansa Stark can become QITN. And oh, because he does not want his true love to take care of any undesirable bastards, political!Jon will also give Dany some moon tea to abort her baby - that’s abortion!Jon. And Jonsa shippers think that Jon Snow seducing a rape victim, stealing her children (the dragons), aborting her baby and then killing her for Sansa is all so romantic!!

And if not Jon Snow, then it will be Arya who will kill Dany. That’s the whole point of the sword Jon gave Arya - it’s not about their bond and their love and being symbolic of home and identity for Arya. No, Needle is so that Arya can kill Dany and Jon and Sansa can get together! Arya will then turn into a Jonsa cheerleader and fuck off into nowhere on a ship.

I have always compared the Jonsa shippers to the flat earthers of this fandom. Some of the most ridiculous and absurd theories have come out of that side of the fandom and debating with them is like debating with a wall. One can smush all the book text and quotes in their face and they will still be there talking about how Jon Snow loves Sansa because some snow fell on her face in one of the chapters....

[mommypieck]

Hello! I've been here for a while and seeing how much you've been through so far makes me sad that you've experienced so much sad shit. I recently came back to your blog since I wasn't on Tumblr for a while(I've been following you for sometime now) and decided to snoop around for a bit to see what I missed, congratulations on 10k followers btw🥺. Also I'm sorry in advance this will probably be long knowing how I can go on for a while.

Some things you've been through I can relate to, my family isn't a step family but it's definitely incredibly dysfunctional and can be shitty. It's almost 4am here so excuse any mistakes I make in writing this, I literally told myself if I didn't send this to you now I'm not gonna be able to later so I'm fighting sleep. Also your friendships I'm sorry you're stuck with people who don't deserve you in just about every aspect ☹️.

You seem like such a genuine sweetheart. I had an experience with a friendship I wanted to end before and I remember being the same as you were, wanting to stay in that friendship but couldn't leave because I was so attached to that person. I thought the end of the world was gonna happen when I left because I was so codependent on them. But I realized that the feelings I had when it came to them shouldn't be taken lightly, the bad feelings, every single one should never be taken lightly. I'm not gonna sit here and make any promises towards you that certain things are gonna be perfect but I can at least say that it's gonna be okay. Not just when but comes to friendships but living apart from your family. I know you've probably heard this shit a million times but you're not gonna be stuck in the same situation forever. If you have decided to leave that friendship I hope you felt the relief I did when I left mine, if you haven't decided to yet, you most likely will feel relieved even if there's always gonna be a longing for the good moments you might have had before, don't let the good distract you from all the bad.

When we all are teenagers or were teenagers, we are constantly told how grown up we have to act that we forget how young we really are. You are 19, you are so incredibly young and you have so much time to become whoever or whatever you want to become. I remember Jane Fonda saying that if you can't do something in your 20s,30s,40s or even 50s, you can still do it in your 60s. I DON'T mean that you won't accomplish all you desire now, because I'm sure you'll definitely get there, but you have a lot of time to get there, to think, to breathe, to exist, to have fun, to have new experiences.

Please remember that you haven't even met all the people who are gonna love you yet. You have so many people who will enter your life later on, as long as you allow them to enter and stay, that can and will love you so much.

If your family is shitty or weird, then you can have your own family, family is not defined to me by blood but by love. So I'm not telling you become pregnant or anything, but your friends can be your family, people you meet along the way can always become family, maybe even family members you'll eventually meet again will rekindle your family relationship.

I'm a bit forgetful (ADHD and trauma not a good combo)so I'm trying to remember what else I was gonna add omg.

You're a sweet girl, you're incredibly talented, if your desire is to become a writer then you're perfect for it already. Honestly I live by, "if Colleen Hoover and Anna Todd can write and publish those damn books, you damn well can too." And I know your books won't suck like theirs do. Full offense to Colleen Hoover fans btw🙃 I expect if you're reading stuff by mommypieck then your taste isn't bad.

Anyway this has been so long and I don't want to overwhelm you, so I'll end it for now, stay safe, and I hope you have a beautiful forever because just wishing you one day isn't enough💖🥺💖.

i am at loss of words.i seriously don't know what to say. thanku so much for this message. it means a world to me really. i am so happy that i have people here who stick with me and actually care what i have to say.i kinda feel bad that you spend so much time, typing all of this. but you seriously gave me hope for better life. thanku so so so so so much. i love u and i appreciate you. thank you again.

[aromanticgarbage]

Hi!!! What do you honestly like about our boy Joji? What got you into him? Favorite song? Favorite quote from him?? Cool blog BTW. ❤️

Hiiiii <33333

Putting this under a read more because it got long af.

God i think part of the reason why im so obsessed with him is the duality of his character and artistic expression. He used to describe himself as conflicted a lot, especially in his earlier interviews and that pretty much hits the nail in the head i think. I love both his music and filthy frank a lot but I wouldn't be so fascinated with the person behind either of these things if they weren't made by the same guy. I just think he is a fascinating character.

What got me into him? I'm honestly pretty late to the party, i stumbled upon slow dancing in the dark on some random playlist at some point mid 2023. Slow dancing in the dark got famous for a reason: its so fucking good, i was playing it on a loop for weeks. Later i stumbled upon pretty boy, once again by pure chance. I was playing it on loop for a looong time as well. I hadn't even noticed that both of these songs were by the same artist at the time.

Fast forward a few months later, someone i follow here on tumblr dot com rebloged a post that expressed ops utter bafflement that filthy frank had turned his career around so dramatically and that he was a "sadboy musician now". The term slursona was thrown around. The ballads 1 album cover was included in the post and i recognised it imediatelly but i also recognised the name filthy frank.

You see, back in the day my older sister was a huge fan. She was really into this era of youtube bless her heart but ff was one of her faves. She had showed me human ramen AND hair cake back then but i was pretty young and I didn't really speak english well enough to fully understand what was going on. Nonetheless, i was morbidly fascinated but i never got into ff myself. Still i knew who he was.

Finding out that i was listening to his music a DECADE later from a random tumblr post gave me the whiplash of my fucking life. I genuinely got so scared i went and removed sditd from my character playlists and spotify liked songs lol. I let that revelation shimmer within me for a few months until one day i finally decided that i should do some research on the matter. I think i watched the slow dancing in the dark mv first and it completely blew me away. Then i watched the weeaboos video and it made me cry from laughter.

Somehow i ended up listening to his entire discography and watching Every Single filthy frank video ever made. At some point i discovered the notorious filthy frank exposes himself video and that once again blew my mind. I realised that he was the one who accidentally started the harlem shake trend back in 2013. Blew my mind. I listened to pink season ans i realised that the help song ive been seeing around since forever was a pink guy song. Blew my mind. I went home for the holidays and i talked to my other sister about my newfound obsession. Turns out she knew him from glimpses of us. Blew her mind too. Talked to my brother, he knew him from glimpses of us as well. We were all screaming about it for a few days.

This whole phase of mine started at some point in March and its only been getting worse. I don't know how we got here but im not complaining.

If i had to choose a favourite song.... sanctuary is my most listened to song of the year so far, so i probably have to go with that but also sditd, you suck Charlie, like you do, pretty boy, yukon, Mr Hollywood, no fun, demons, see you in 40, nightrider, modus (just to name a few)..... they all hold a very special place in my heart... I just love pretty much most of his songs a whole lot.

As for favourite quote im afraid I don't have a super serious answer to this question fjdksdks. "I just wanna make people sad and horny" is a strong one but also "sorry for being An Fag" and "fucking everyone smokes weed in central park...." fascinate me to no end.

Thank you so much for your questions !! <33 its always nice to have an excuse to ramble tehe.

[deadcactuswalking]

REVIEWING THE CHARTS: 10/02/2024

Noah Kahan’s “Stick Season” is still #1, it’s a short episode, you really probably should skip it - there's nothing of value discussed here... welcome back to REVIEWING THE CHARTS.

Rundown

This is not a good week. You could call it a stale week, it’s probably accurate, because there’s not much of interest and what is here is mostly utter garbage. Potentially, up there with the worst weeks ever in terms of new arrivals to the UK Top 75, which is what I cover, and speaking of what I cover, notable dropouts are songs exiting said top 75 after five weeks in the region or a peak in the top 40, and this week, we bid adieu to: “Skin and Bones” by David Kushner, “neé-nah” by 21 Savage, Travis Scott and Metro Boomin, “Practice” by Drake, “Pink Friday Girls” and “Everybody” featuring Lil Uzi Vert by Nicki Minaj and finally, “Paint the Town Red” by Doja Cat. One highlight of this dire week is that I’m not really complaining about any of that.

Lewis Capaldi’s “Someone You Loved” returns to #67, what a joy, as well as “Anti-Hero” by Taylor Swift at #62 and “Flowers” by Miley Cyrus at #51. Can’t help but think the GRAMMYs had some influence on these. As for notable gains, we see boosts for Taylor’s “Is it Over Now?” at #68, “MY EYES” by Travis Scott at #65, “What Was I Made For?” by Billie Eilish at #58, “Would You (go to bed with me?)” by Campbell and Alcemist at #52, “Perfect (Exceeder)” by Mason vs. Princess Superstar at #39, “Runaway” by Ye featuring Pusha T at #35, seemingly because well, there may or may not be an album coming because that’s what we needed: more discourse. Then we have “Scared to Start” by Michael Marcagi at #31, “Selfish” by Justin Timberlake at #29 (why are we doing this?), “exes” by Tate McRae at #23, “Alibi” by Ella Henderson featuring Rudimental at #16 (Christ), and we end with two positives at least, as YG Marley and Benson Boone both get their first top 10s with pretty damn good songs, in my opinion: “Praise Jah in the Moonlight” at #9 and “Beautiful Things” at #5, which brings us to that top five, which is otherwise completely the same as last week. Jack Harlow’s at #4, Teddy Swims at #3, Sophie Ellis-Bextor at #2 and for a sixth week, Noah Kahan at #1. You know the song names off by heart by now, and I need some time to let off a deep sigh before rattling off the new songs. Oh, boy, the new songs.

New Entries

#75 - “Out for Love” - Andrew Underberg, Sam Haft and Daphne Rubin-Vega

Produced by Andrew Underberg and Sam Haft

So, Hazbin Hotel was a web pilot by Vivienne Medrano or “ViziePop” that was later picked up by Amazon as a television series this year. It is a musical animated series hence has several soundtrack singles, and given the weak charts and viral nature of the show, some of them have ended up here. I watched the pilot and first four episodes of the series, and found it genuinely quite difficult to stomach - I love adult animation, I love musicals, I actually even like the art style - it was the narrative elements of the show that killed it for me, and this is not a TV review blog, it’s a music review blog. I knew at least one song would debut as the midweek update showed one song at #73, I figured that would be the only song and it could potentially not even appear, so I wrote a very tersely-worded review for that song in particular. It’s a bit… not all that useful anymore, for lack of a better phrase. So I’m largely not going to be covering these. This is from the seventh episode, which I haven’t seen. Song doesn’t make any Goddamn sense to me. Journalism.

#74 - “Thank You (Not So Bad)” - Dimitri Vegas & Like Mike, Tiesto, Dido and W&W

Produced by Dimitri Vegas & Like Mike, Tiesto, W&W, Bassjackers and Renze Michels

Okay, if you’re going to credit a grand total of five EDM producers, why not go the full mile and have all eight pick out a lead? Also, I would ask how eight people were involved in producing this if I had any doubts that it wasn’t just an uncredited guy who got paid to sell this lazy sample flip off to people with actual star power. A sample flip of what, you may ask? Sigh… well, if there’s anything vaguely positive I can say about “Alibi” is that it’s influential. This is somehow even lazier, however, so I guess let’s start with some kind of history.

First of all, Dido’s “Thank You” is a perfectly fine, honest song that peaked at #3 in 2001 - “Do You Really Like It?” by DJ Pied Piper & the Masters of Ceremonies rightfully took #1 that week - and whilst I’ve never been a big fan, I can definitely see why the melancholy downtempo ballad resonates with people, and on a bad day, I can definitely throw this on and feel a little hope. This is a bad chart day, and if “Thank You” were to chart in its original form, it could perhaps be a reminder that things are, despite everything, it’s not so bad. So I imagine rap fans will know one of if not both of the uses of this song in popular hip hop, the first being Eminem’s classic “Stan”, probably my second favourite of his. It actually did #1 for one week in 2000, before the original had charted. It’s a stark and incredibly clever recontextualisation of the song that I’m pretty sure has already been discussed as much as possible, there’s a reason why many consider it Em’s crowning moment. Rae Sremmurd, “Lean’s Gone Cold”… maybe not so much. That one didn’t chart, but it’s funny.

Now there is precedent for house remixes of “Thank You”, and whilst I’m willing to consider interpretations and reimaginings of practically any song as any different style, I feel like making “Thank You” more danceable than just a vague nodding of the head skews some of the narrative’s tone? It definitely makes for a weirder, more dissonant listen, and whilst the Deep Dish remix, actually a GRAMMY Award-winning remix, does its best to maintain the atmosphere in its nine minutes, turning “not so bad” into a faint, looping mantra under a constantly developing house groove, to the point where it is a genuinely pretty great house song production wise… it still doesn’t feel like a great adaptation of “Thank You”, just a different product entirely, which makes sense and honestly makes for a better song. It doesn’t try and be “Thank You”, despite not even registering itself as an original song, just a remix of the original still credited solely to Dido. In 2016, European electro house duos Dimitri Vegas & Like Mike and W&W made a song called “Arcade”, it’s a loud, compressed smorgasboard of cheap synth sounds made for a live festival setting and being practically unlistenable outside of that context. In 2020, German producers Felix Jaehn and VIZE made a much more conventional and, at least in terms of how much it cribs from the original, a more faithful rendition of “Thank You”, subtitled “Not So Bad”. It’s a flavourless tropical house riff that I think the world would be better off not hearing, it’s like “Thank You” by Dido if she was commissioned to make it by an advertising company looking for a soundtrack to gym commercials.

Somewhere across the line, I guess it must have been Tiesto who said, “What if we made a version of that Felix Jaehn song but basically in the soundfont of “Arcade”?” - the latter even being directly listed as a sample on Genius. I mean, otherwise, I don’t know what the Hell Tiesto is doing here but, generally, you have to be shitting me, right? This is two minutes and 20 seconds constructed out of bits and pieces of songs I may not like but had a lot more purposeful artistic intent to them, if that’s a correct way of phrasing it. This is a vaguely functional crap-shoot molded from genuine song ideas, starting with a gentle singer-songwriter track that actually means a Hell of a lot to millions of people. I’d believe that to many fans, that Rae Sremmurd rendition means a lot to them. What does this mean to anybody?

#63 - “Bandit” - Don Toliver

Produced by ReidMD

I don’t like Don Toliver, really, or Tame Impala for that record, but there’s a level of inherent quality here, right? Don can sing, Tame Impala can construct a vibe and the sample here is “One More Hour” from their 2020 album The Slow Rush, it’s completely serviceable, could make for a good song. So why the sample is rendered in such low quality screeching is beyond me, but hey, maybe a powerful beat could work? Oh, the trap skitter is not only completely rote and overdone, it’s really high in the mix and distracts from the bass, which could really help make this song work? Okay, well, what’s Don doing? Being basically a cartoon character with his flows and incessant ad-libs? Well, that could be fun - oh, he’s comparing himself to Marilyn Manson? Barely rhyming? Catching a good, intense flow only to mumble repeated lines mostly about having sex that make up much of the song, with a tiny verse in the middle? Well, maybe the outro can make up for it - oh, he’s doing a Cookie Monster impression. Welp, all hope is lost.

#55 - “Poison” - Blake Roman, Sam Haft and Andrew Underberg

Produced by Sam Haft and Andrew Underberg

This is an upbeat synthpop jam that soundtracks a sex slavery montage. It sounds like a song by The Weeknd covered by a SpongeBob AI voice model. Next.

#53 - “Loser, Baby” - Andrew Underberg, Sam Haft, Keith David and Blake Roman

Produced by Sam Haft and Andrew Underberg

This was the song that made me turn the fourth episode off in disgust. I had a massive review prepared, covering its treatment of sexual abuse, which probably gave it a higher degree of nuance and generosity than many others are willing to give it, but I’m not compelled to rant about cartoons in this series. I want to write about animation more often but preferably animation I like or actually find compelling. With all respect to those who enjoy it and power to them, Hazbin Hotel was not something I would like to grant any more attention than the brief necessity of my format. Thanks for understanding.

#40 - “Home” - Good Neighbours

Produced by Good Scott and Oli Fox

I was very much willing to give this one a good shake because, I mean, what else do we have? Scott and Fox teased this on TikTok months prior before releasijng this as their official debut single together, after malformed, quickly aborted solo runs a few years ago. Sounds like a recipe for chart success and oh, the song’s terrible. It has a whistle about as charming as the American Authors’ milennial whoops, really insufferably screeching vocal tones that remind me of Passion Pit more than anything - that isn’t really a good thing - and sentimental lyrics about what home means to him, which would be completely serviceable without the stiff, grooveless splodge of grey matter that calls itself a chorus. Oh, and you know those sentimental lyrics? They’re gone by this point, it’s an incredibly manipulative breakup song with some really gross attempts at poetry - “wrap my name across your mouth when I let my feelings down”? Ew, man, Charlie Puth is less contrived than this. Naturally, the song goes nowhere and sadly, that probably won’t be its chart trajectory. Yet, once again, this song is practically unlistenable.

Conclusion

…Don Toliver gets Best of the Week. Somehow. Thanks for reading, I guess? See you next whenever.

[cottonundiestf]

I posted 253 times in 2022

That's 253 more posts than 2021!

146 posts created (58%)

107 posts reblogged (42%)

Blogs I reblogged the most:

@cottonundiestf

@candis-thots

@bimbosanddolls

@hypno-dolly

@pretty-bimbo-baby

I tagged 152 of my posts in 2022

Only 40% of my posts had no tags

#ooc - 76 posts

#layla rose - 26 posts

#the layla game - 21 posts

#iq loss - 12 posts

#self oc - 8 posts

#sex sigil game - 7 posts

#transformation kink - 7 posts

#brainwashing - 6 posts

#writing - 6 posts

#caption story - 5 posts

Longest Tag: 52 characters

#that's a whole lot of words to say you're anti-trans

My Top Posts in 2022:

#5

I know the kinds of kinks I peddle in

so I DO want to be VERY clear, especially as election season looms over us. This account is:

pro-abortion pro-feminism anti-patriarchal systems (outside of kink) pro-LGBTQIA+ pro-BLM anti-capitalist pro-deconstructing toxic faith trauma

and pretty much just incredibly fucking leftist.

If you are genuinely anti-women's rights, anti-queer, or support racist power structures or politicians that enable any of these things, I have no love for you. My blog is not a safe space for you.

Stay safe and happy, comrades.

280 notes - Posted November 2, 2022

#4

Mona didn't remember how she stumbled on ComfyGoddess' stream, but she'd gotten hooked on the pink aesthetics and soothing music. As a competitive gamer, "titty streamers" normally bugged her, but after a stressful day, Comfy's streams were the perfect way to clear her mind.

Comfy gave Mona so much attention in chat, and they even talked in DMs. Comfy had some great videos and advice to share, improving Mona's makeup and fashion game. She didn't used to think much about her appearance, but she got it now; she was less stressed and way more comfy now!

See the full post

314 notes - Posted August 18, 2022

#3

"Thanks for letting me stay in your dorm for the night. My girlfriend asked me if she could have the room to herself. I'm ready to crash, I just gotta put on my headphones before bed. What am I listening to?"

Summer offers her headphones.

𝐺𝑜𝑜𝑑 𝑔𝑖𝑟𝑙𝑠 ℎ𝑎𝑣𝑒 𝑒𝑚𝑝𝑡𝑦 ℎ𝑒𝑎𝑑𝑠. 𝐺𝑜𝑜𝑑 𝑔𝑖𝑟𝑙𝑠 𝑙𝑖𝑠𝑡𝑒𝑛 𝑡𝑜 𝑠𝑚𝑎𝑟𝑡 𝑝𝑒𝑜𝑝𝑙𝑒. 𝐺𝑜𝑜𝑑 𝑔𝑖𝑟𝑙𝑠 𝑘𝑛𝑜𝑤 𝑡ℎ𝑒𝑦'𝑟𝑒 𝑖𝑛𝑓𝑒𝑟𝑖𝑜𝑟.

Summer smiled at you as you listened to the mantra with a blank stare. Mistress said you would; now Summer just had to call her over.

343 notes - Posted August 31, 2022

#2

Jenny stared at you from the back seat as you drove, still miffed. You told her your new car had state-of-the-art seatbelts that always rested snugly and securely.

You neglected to mention that it did that by adjusting her breasts, not the belt. Now her massive jugs fit perfectly in your car, but less so in her shirt. Adjustments had to be made.

543 notes - Posted August 14, 2022

My #1 post of 2022

Twitter: Exploding. Tumblr: This could be our chance to finally regain some of our loss membership numbers! The People of Tumblr: Bitch, I don't think you remember how hard we worked to make this place unprofitable.

626 notes - Posted November 7, 2022

Get your Tumblr 2022 Year in Review →

FOR THE RECORD, that was NOT my top post in 2022. Tumblr is lying and hind it because my TOP post was the cow bikini transformation! The censorship of it all!

[gettingreallyintobeatlesyaoi]

Day 5 of reading Beatles RPF

On our way back home by Kathleenishereagain || 5/56

Reading a chapter while my laundry gets dried (and hoping the dryer actually works today XD)

Though, first things first, I feel I should mention that thanks to @indiekidsupremacist and @the-bluebird-you-need, I now know that not only is there one Beatles movie, but multiple! I think I'll need to put time aside to watch them at some point. When in Rome, do as the Romans do. When reading Beatles fanfiction, watch Beatles movies. For research purposes. Obviously.

In the meantime, I did think of something else I could do. A few songs have been mentioned in the fic so far, and it seems a little silly to go on like this without listening to their music. How can you understand why people are fans of a band without hearing what the band's most known for? So, I picked the first one the fic brought up, "I Feel Fine".

This was so fun. The song itself is great (and catchy. Yeah, that's going to be stuck in my head for a week.) And at one point in the music video, one of them (the comments say it's Ringo) just?? gets on a bike?? and stays on it the rest of the song?????? Brilliant, fantastic, no notes.

Anyway, we're here for fic, and I absolutely have to share this passage that made me look away from my phone for a minute and just absorb it.

He did not have anything to tell him that he actually could say, anyway. Sorry I was an absolute wanker to you. Sorry I didn’t try to talk to you sooner. That I didn’t make more effort to patch things up between us. Sorry you died. I miss you. I have missed you for almost 40 years and I will never stop missing you. Seeing you so young and clueless is more painful than you could ever imagine. Talking to you makes me want to scream. It makes my head turn with happy fireworks and my belly burn with grief. He could not say any of that.

Just. Holy shit. That struck hard and fast, and the rest of the chapter didn't pull any punches either. I'm a huge fan of time travel related angst, so it's like this was tailor-made for me. With every chapter, I'm drawn more and more in.

(I think I mentioned before that I started this blog on a whim, half-joking. Not disrespectful, I should hope, as I didn't want to come into a fandom I'm not a part of and make a mockery of someone's hard work. I'm genuine in my desire to experience this and understand what draws people to it (and I suspect, will become a fan myself in time), but I won't lie and say I didn't come into this with preconceived biases about RPF. Which, to be honest, was a little hypocritical of me. Don't laugh, but my side projects are mostly Supernatural fanfiction, and I can see how easily someone might approach that with the same feelings I did this, whereas I, on the inside and putting my heart into it, take it very seriously. So, solidarity there, I think. We are all weird guys on the internet writing heartfelt love letters to things that matter to us.)

It's still fascinating to me getting little crumbs of knowledge, some of them devastating, chapter by chapter. I expect someone fully immersed in the history of the band and each member would take these in stride, facts they already know well, but some of them really throw me for a loop. The one this chapter was a mention that Paul didn't go to his father's funeral, or couldn't go. It wasn't specified why, and it's a drop in the bucket of this chapter, but it stuck in my mind nonetheless.

Oh, and I have a solid grasp of the distance between London and Liverpool now. The fic said a trip between the two would take about four hours by car, and Google provided me the helpful number of 354 kilometers. (Or, in American, for me, 220 miles.) That's further than the distance I used to go to visit my Grandpa in Mississippi.

[pandoratheprocrasticreator]

Homestuck Poll Round 1 Results:

Beta Kids: 226 votes

Dave Strider: 31% - Winner

Jade Harley: 27%

Rose Lalonde: 22%

John Egbert: 20%

Lowblood Trolls: 275 votes

Aradia Megido: 41% - Winner

Karkat Vantas: 30%

Sollux Captor: 15%

Tavros Nitram: 14%

Midblood Trolls: 356 votes

Nepeta Leijon: 31% - Winner

Terezi Pyrope: 28%

Kanaya Maryam: 23%

Vriska Serket: 18%

Highblood Trolls: 314 votes

Feferi Peixes: 40% - Winner

Gamzee Makara: 24%

Eridan Ampora: 22%

Equius Zahhak: 14%

Alpha Kids: 655 votes

Roxy Lalonde: 51% - Winner

Dirk Strider: 28%

Jake English: 13%

Jane Crocker: 8%

Miscellaneous Characters Pt. 1: 171 votes

Calliope: 42% - Winner

Meenah Peixes: 24%

Caliborn: 23%

Aranea Serket: 11%

Miscellaneous Characters Pt. 2: 164 votes

Davesprite/Davepetasprite: 46% - Winner

Mayor (WV): 30%

Dad Egbert/Dad Crocker: 30%

Doc Scratch: 9%

Cursed Characters: 35 votes (I forgot to tag this one)

Lil Cal: 37% - Winner

Sweet Bro: 26%

Hella Jeff: 20%

Andrew Hussie: 17%

Villains: 164 votes

Spades Slick: 45% - Winner

The Condesce: 25%

Bec Noir: 24%

Lord English: 6%

Comments:

The kids and trolls got a lot more votes than the miscellaneous characters. That makes sense. We spend more time with all the kids and a lot of the trolls compared to the miscellaneous ones so I guess more people searched up their name in the Tumblr tags

That being said a sample size of only a few hundred is WAY too small. Especially for a fandom as big as Homestuck. I'll go off of this in the next poll ofc but to get a good idea of who the fandom ACTUALLY likes I need like at least a few thousand votes. Maybe more idk how big the Homestuck fandom is now. I know @abraxas-calibrator is planning to make a comprehensive poll with every single character in HS someday and they a) have more followers than me probably so more people will see the poll, b) is more of a "Homestuck blog" than me so more people will know what they're talking about, and c) will probably organize this poll better than I did so. Check out their poll when they do it I guess.

The alpha kids got a LOT of votes. From the tags it seems people have been trying to get their followers to vote for Jane and Jake who were less popular. Didn't work, as you can tell. I love Jane but I don't think her reputation in the fandom ever recovered after HS2 unfortunately. Also I guess ppl just didn't pay attention to her before HS2 either.

The midbloods had a lot of people voting and a relatively close race between Nepeta and Terezi. In the tags of the poll I said Terezi was my favorite but I didn't expect her to win. I expected Vriska to win. Vriska made waves a few days ago bc ppl were APPALLED that she was having such a tough race against Katya Goncharov. Can't believe she's one of THE Tumblr Sexywomen but she came in last in a poll against characters from her own comic. I mean I voted for Katya in that poll bc Vriska sucks (affectionate) but still. She deserved to win that one and I'm surprised she didn't win this one.

That being said for both the midblood and the highblood polls I get the feeling that people assumed that more Tumblr Sexyman characters like Vriska and Gamzee would get all the votes so they voted for the least controversial characters to compensate? Like I have no doubt in my mind that people ACTUALLY like Aradia and liked her enough to beat out Karkat. But. Do people actually like Nepeta and Feferi more. Actually maybe they do. Maybe I'm just cynical. I like characters that are a little problematic bc they're more interesting that way. I guess a lot of people don't see it that way and like the characters that they would genuinely want to be friends with. That's valid tbh.

Some of these brackets weren't well done tbh. The midblood bracket had all popular characters and there were several miscellaneous brackets with characters that aren't most people's favorites. But because I put them together in one poll it forced people to choose their favorite out of the selection. The winners of different polls will be going into the next round but it doesn't really reflect the actual popularity in the fandom. Maybe doing them in batches of 2 would have been better than 4. Ah well. I'll do that for the Tumblr Sexywoman poll I'll eventually put on. I don't have the energy to do all that for this one. Same with the Danganronpa one I want to do later they're still going into batches of 4.

Roxy is literally the only character who won the majority vote. And that's only by 1%. The other polls all have votes split more evenly 3- or 4- ways between the characters. Again, I wonder if any characters would have come out on top if I did a 1v1 poll for them?

Yall really like girls. 5/9 winners of the polls are girls, and 4/5 of the kids/trolls polls had girls win. And for a bunch of the polls where a girl didn't win a girl was the runner-up if there was one in the group. In conclusion wamen I guess.

I have homework so round 2 of polls will be up tomorrow. There are 9 winners in round 1 so for round 2 I'll put them in batches of 3. And the final round will also be in batches of 3. I tried to make 8 batches last time bc it was the Vriska number but also bc then I could do 1v1s but I thought of more characters in the last second. Ah well, I'll refine my methodology for other polls. Peace.

Pandora

[oraclekleo]

Kleo you're the only blog i found who celebrates getting older & becoming mature. You always mentioned your age without any shame. No cutting back a few years to seem "younger". Society really demonized getting older when in reality, it's so much better than being a teenager.

I'm not naive anymore. I can control my emotion. I'm calmer. I earn money. I don't involve myself in useless fight like fandom fights 💀

These are are not even half the benefit of getting older. As for health, your 30s is not 70s lol. We're fine.

-LS

Hello!

😂

Honestly, I still feel like a child even in my 30s. I know I haven't figured everything out, I still struggle to properly adult but yes, just like you say, 30s are great!

I mean, in your 30s you don't really go to school or university so you basically only learn what you are genuinely interested in or when it's for your career and you get paid for improving your qualification instead of getting meaningless marks. In your 30s, you know you don't need to impress anyone because same as you, they don't care whether your handbag is Prada or reusable cotton shoulder bag you bought in Tesco 5 years ago to carry your groceries home. Unless you actually have some conditions, your hormones and periods are pretty much settled down and you can predict your mood swings based on your cycle and give warnings to those of concern. In your 30s, you usually know what you want and don't want in life - I know I don't want husband and children and I knew it in my 20s but only after reaching magical 30 people started to take me seriously. And that's another thing - people actually listen to you and respect your values and opinions in your 30s. Finally you have the authority to actually completely decide about your life. Yes, people might critisise your decisions but the great thing is that you don't have to care about their opinion because you're pretty much well established on your own and if they keep bitching about something you can easily tell bye bye to them.

Yes, I have back pains, I need regular sleep schedule, I can't spend a day eating fastfood or my internal organs will let me know very clearly I made a mistake while in my teens I could live on chips and fizzy drinks for a week and still feel at the top of my game. But honestly, these are actually good things. Back pains motivate me to stretch and exercise. Regular sleeping shedule is healthy and really, really great. If you never had a regular sleeping schedule, you have no idea what utter bliss you are missing. And the fact I need to eat nutritious and balanced meals in order to feel good is also pretty ace.

I love being on my 30s. And quite frankly I'm looking forward to my 40s. If I'm smart now, I might be able to actually achieve some of big dreams that seem unreachable now but might be much accessible when in my 40s. I actually like growing old.

And to all those who think they know how world spins in their teen years - YOU HAVE NO IDEA! Don't you dare shaming people older than you. We have been through shit you can't even imagine. I didn't have internet when I was your age. We had to go to libraries and read or at least browse through actuall thick books for hours to find a little piece of information you can Google in 2 seconds. I miss spending hours in library now... I should spoil myself with a library day sometimes... 😏 Because I have a nice job and so many days of paid vacation that I can just randomly decide to spend a day in a library! And that's what you get in your 30s... Plus a nice salary to spoil yourself even more. 😂

So yeah! Thank you for celebrating 30s with me, dear! 💜💜💜💜

'We rock!' we whisper to our mirror reflection before moisturizing and going sleep at 9 pm. 🤣

Kleo 🦄

[ballsballsbowls]

I suspect my insights into the new tumblr Core Product Strategy are no dumber than anyone else’s. To be fair, I workshopped an idea in my gc a couple of years ago that was nearly identical to Blaze, so while I don’t have my finger of the pulse of the youth, I have had a few good guesses what would fix tumblr. 

I understand they are kind of frantically balancing the needs of Someone Like Me (a 2013 sign-on who will be here until they shut the lights off and posts a good bit if not in a way that gets viewed and reads a lot more than 25 posts on the average day AND is like 80% browser user which like...seriously, use fucking browser it’s so much better) with the kind of Line Go Up forever growth that justifies spending money on a fucking sinkhole like tumblr.

I am also very interested in seeing if they can improve their algorithmic content because I’d be interested in the algorithmic content (explore, for you, even if they added something else I’d be interested as long as I have a chronological followers-only feed as one of my options). But I don’t use these things unless I’m desperate to Look At Post because...the algorithm is either very very good or very very bad, in that it nearly always serves up posts I’ve been seeing all day (so points for guessing what I am already seeing) but had no interest in interacting with. 

Please tumblr I WANT to see more posts I am not already seeing. I cannot look at the same out of context undated twitter screencaps passing as political commentary all day every day. I just also want the option to not see that shit in my chronological dash. In tumblr’s heyday I never hit my post limit but I was posting upwards of 100 posts a day, and now you rarely get double digits from me because there is simply not that much interesting content.

Unsure about the threaded comments. I think it COULD work but I’m unsure if it will depending on how it’s implemented.

ALSO pleased to see The App on their list. The app is dogshit and it’s been dogshit for a couple of years now. It’s genuinely hard to SEE more than 30-40 posts on the app in an WHOLE DAY of intermittent scrolling because of the app’s tendency to freeze/crash/only show you those 30-40 posts no matter what you do. I have mutuals who LEFT TUMBLR because they were app-only users and the app just got so unpleasant to use they quit tumblr, and I’m sure they are not the only people who did so.

I desperately would like more control over who follows me/who can interact with me/who can interact with my posts. I’d love a native mute function, especially something that would let me choose how long I don’t want to see posts for. Sometimes I just need like five days so they can get their untagged blorbo stuff out and I don’t have to see it, you know? 

I’d love an option to not allow blank blogs to follow me, or blogs newer than 7 days, or blogs that have NEVER generated an original post (which also tend to be spam). You have everyone’s birthdays now, you should be able to generate a “nobody under 18 according to the account birthday can follow” (I care less about that but I also am not generating much of my own content.) 

tl;dr I am not sure the issue is tumblr is difficult for new people, but I think a slow, buggy app and the lack of new and different stuff on the site is what keeps them from coming back.