#I genuinely couldn’t be happier about the end right now

[aengelren]

Linked horizon are back to do a the final Aot opening+theme song-Kohta Yamoto has created 15 new songs…

to our storyboard director Hayashi, thank you. To the Mappa crew who fought against their schedules and let us see the end of our show, thank you.

[drunkinyourbenz]

ALWAYS THERE FOR YOU

☆ SYNOPSIS: your parents' excitment about the election results left you with a pit of dread in your stomach. luckliy for you, you had billie, who helped you through it all.

☆ RELATIONSHIP: billie eilish x fem!reader

☆ WARNINGS: angst, comfort, politics, right wing family, implied homophobic family, long distance relationship (during tour)

☆ REQUESTED? yes, anon

☆ NOTE: hi my loves, i saw this request and just had to write it right away (literally wrote it in half an hour lmao) for anyone needing comfort as well as the anon who requested this, i hope you're doing okay. i'm not from america, but i'm also deeply dissapointed about the election results, and i feel for all of you who are there. i hope i did this request justice, i don't have a family who's like super against my views so i hope this is okay <3 anyone with family celebrating like the readers is in this story, please imagine me giving you the biggest hug rn, i hope you're coping okay. my dms are always open if you want to talk about anything at all, i love you all, please stay safe <33

☆ WORD COUNT: 1.2k words

you and billie had been dating for a while now, and she made you happier than anyone ever had before. she was your other half, and without her you would feel incomplete. you weren’t on tour with her, much to both of your disappointments. but you’d had personal things that took up your time at the start of tour, so the plan was that you’d join her once she came on tour to your city, and you’d join her for the rest of tour. despite not being on tour with her, your mind always drifted back to her, she had a permanent residence in your heart. 

so naturally, on election night, you sat in your room thinking about her. you wanted nothing more than to be held by her in this moment, you’d slipped away from dinner as soon as you could, but you could still hear your family’s excited chatter coming from downstairs. the fact that they were happy about the way it was going, the way they wanted a future that was so drastically different from the one you had in your mind… it stung. your parents genuinely wanted a future that you weren’t sure whether you had a place in, and you didn’t really know what to do with that information.

you were trying to stay off social media, to stay away from the news, because you knew it wouldn’t help you—you couldn’t change a thing. but every few minutes, you’d end up switching back to the tab on your laptop with the live updates, feeling a sense of dread settling in your stomach. you couldn’t quite comprehend how so many more people had voted for him, the man who made you genuinely fear for your future. 

so finally, you texted billie. you needed her comfort, even though it would just be her voice over a call. you needed her. 

can i call you??

billie replied not long after, her text simple. 

bils: ofc baby

her contact calling you came up on your screen before you could even move to call her, and you automatically accepted the face time. her face popped up on your phone after a moment, and as well as the tiredness from tour you’d been seeing so much of lately, she looked just as crestfallen as you. the two of you shared the same opinions on this, and you knew how much billie cared about it. 

just as the call loaded properly, you heard a loud cheer from downstairs, and you couldn’t stop the grimace that appeared on your face. billie’s lips curved down in a soft, sympathetic frown, “oh, baby.” 

a sigh left your lips, the sound somewhat defeated, “i just… i don’t know how they want that. it feels like they want a future that i’m not safe in–” billie cut you off with an understanding sigh, she knew that if she let you keep talking, you’d simply spiral. she knew what you meant, you felt a rift between you and your parents, you felt unsure of what that meant for your relationship with them. billie herself had never experienced it, with her own family being supportive and sharing her views, but she had always been good at comforting you. 

“i’m so sorry, baby. you know that me and my family have always got you, no matter what, yeah? we’ve got your back, we’re always here for you. all of us.” 

your lips curled into a soft pout, her words lessening the sadness you were feeling. “i love your family.”

she smiled softly at you, “and we love you. always.” 

you cracked a small smile at her words, the disappointment behind your eyes still very much evident, but you felt an overwhelming feeling of love for the people in your life. even if your blood-related family didn’t understand, you had your chosen family. that small fact that you had your people, who agreed with you on these things, it helped to soften the blow of your parents wanting the country to go down such a different path than you did. only slightly, but it helped. you felt the pain dull slightly. 

the two of you stayed on the phone for a while, billie distracting you from your parents downstairs by telling you about the tour so far. obviously, she was also upset about everything going on, but she knew you needed this support and that was more important than talking about it. she just wanted you to feel okay. you could feel the emotions hanging around both of you even through the phone, but you appreciated that she wasn’t mentioning them right now. you’d have plenty of time to talk about the election later, once you didn’t feel so despairing about the future. 

after about half an hour of the two of you just talking, you decided to ask her something. 

“bils?” 

“hmm?” she hummed, looking up as if she could sense the importance of what you were about to say even through one word. 

“do you… do you think i could join you on tour a bit earlier than planned? i just don’t know if i can stay in this house for any longer, it’s just–”

“of course.” 

her instant, firm reply cut off your rambling and you sighed in relief, “thank you–”

“don’t thank me, darling. i just want you to feel safe.” she paused, thinking, “you could join us on the minnesota dates, if you want. there’s two days there, so it gives you more time to get here. i can book you a flight–” 

you smiled at her considerate words, the way she was taking everything into account. oh, how you loved her. “that sounds perfect. and don’t book first class this time, jesus. i can put up with an economy flight, i’m used to them. plus,  i get to see you at the end of it.” 

she smiled warmly, “mm, you do. and then i’m wrapping you up in a massive hug and never letting you go, because i love you.” 

you giggled softly at her words, “i think i’m looking forward to seeing maggie more, actually.” 

billie rolled her eyes fondly, her mother just adored you. “i don’t blame you.” 

the two of you talked into the night, and were still on the call when you woke up. you weren’t aware that you’d fallen asleep, and you probably wouldn’t have if it weren’t for her soothing voice.

it was now the early hours of the morning, soft sunlight streaming through the curtains you’d forgotten to shut. the house had gone silent by now, your parents finally asleep, and you felt a tiny bit of peace just laying there in the silence. you looked at the screen for a moment, simply admiring her pretty sleeping face, the way her eyelashes fluttered slightly and her chest rose and fell with each breath. this time in a few days, you’d be in her arms again. 

you let out a soft sigh. the country may be falling apart by the seams, but you had billie. you had her, so you’d be okay. 

[number1mingyustan]

Today, Tomorrow, and Forever ☾ ♡

husband!seungchol x fem!reader, newlyweds au

Warnings: cursing, explicit smut, unprotected sex (missionary), soft sex, oral (f.), multiple orgasms, body worship, creampie, soft!dom cheol, they are so in love

Summary: You mean everything to him and more

Word Count: 2.3k

_______________________________________________

(a/n: school started again and i’ve been so inactive i’m sorry y’all 💔)

You feel like a teenager again. The two of you are giggly and stumbling all over yourselves, drunk off of your love and the little bit of champagne you shared earlier.

Seungchol pushes the elevator button once for the sixth floor, and when it doesn’t immediately light up he starts aggressively pressing it over and over again. You giggle, placing your hand on top of his.

“Calm down baby… there’s no need to rush,” You grin.

“I finally got you all to myself… don’t wanna waste another moment.” He says.

The elevator door is about to close and Seungchol is already plotting all the things he’s gonna do to you when you get upstairs. Matter of fact, what he’s planning to do to you right here in the elevator even.

But before he can act on any of his desires, a hand stops the elevator from closing and a woman steps inside. She’s a little breathless, making it obvious she was in a bit of a rush to get here.

Seungchol has to hold himself back from groaning out loud. He finally got a moment alone with you and it’s been ruined again.

You nudge him when you notice the way he’s blatantly rolling his eyes.

“Thank you, I thought I wasn’t going to make it,” The woman says as she fully steps into the elevator.

“Mhm. What floor?” Seungchol asks with the least bit of interest in his voice.

You nudge him again and he sighs.

“The fifth please,” the woman says with a smile. “And might I just say…. you are gorgeous. Congratulations to the two of you I’m assuming.”

She takes notice of your attire.

Seungchol is holding the bottom of your white dress with the utmost care so it doesn’t drag.

It’s your wedding day, well wedding night really now. It’s the whole reason Seungchol has been so antsy and handsy.

As much as he loves all your family and friends, the reception was meant to be over hours ago. He didn’t want it to end, considering it was still your special day, but he wanted some alone time with his beautiful wife.

Conversation started to get exhausting, hearing the constant congratulations and saying ‘thank you’ and smiling for hours on end.

He truly couldn’t have been happier, but he wanted to spend some time with his beautiful wife.

Nonetheless, today was the best day of your entire life. You can’t help but look down at the gorgeous ring decorating your finger.

“Oh! Thank you,” you smile. “Yeah… it’s our big day.”

“I wish the two of you the best.” She smiles.

“Thank you,” Seunchol smiles. “We appreciate it.”

She gives another genuine smile. “I know you probably know this, but marriage isn’t easy by any means. But just know that no matter what happens, she’s always right.” The woman jokes.

Seungchol chuckles and looks at you with a genuine look in his eyes. “I didn’t have to marry her to know that.”

The woman laughs and the elevator sings when it reaches the fifth floor. “Well this is my stop. It was nice meeting you too and I wish you the best.”

“Thank you,” you smile.

She steps out and waves before the doors shut again.

“She was sweet,” You comment.

“Mhm,” He pulls your body closer to his protectively. “But now it’s just you and me for the rest of the night.”

He starts leaving kisses along your neck. But before it can escalate, the elevator reaches the sixth floor and the door opens in front of you.

He holds the key in his pocket and begins pulling you out the elevator and toward your room for the night. He doesn’t let your dress touch the ground, even as he scrambles for the key and opens the door.

When he does, your eyes go wide at the sight before you.

The hotel room is incredible. It’s spacious and the bed is huge, decorated with rose petals and a bottle of champagne. The pillows are heart shaped and there are balloons touching the ceiling.

“Do you like it?” Seungchol asks.

You turn back at him with glossy eyes. “I love it. I can’t believe you did all this.”

“You put so much into planning the wedding… I figured I could do a little special something for you.”

You’re quick you wrap your arms around him. He nearly drops the train of your dress with how much force you use to embrace him. He holds you in his arms, rubbing your back lightly.

“I know I’ve said it a million times… but you look so beautiful.”

The love in his eyes is pure and genuine. There’s a slight glimmer every time he stares at you and he couldn’t hide it even if he wanted to.

You don't hesitate to place your lips on his. It's a sweet kiss but it escalates quickly. He holds you by the waist gently as he kisses you back. Your lips mold together perfectly as he holds you close to him.

The kiss grows passionate quickly, and he's soon lifting you up and placing you on the large bed gently. He kneels down in front of you and helps you to take off your heels. He rubs your feet soothingly, allowing his head to disappear under your dress momentarily to leave loving kisses along your legs.

He places your shoes upright on the floor before standing to his feet and leaning over to capture your lips in another kiss. Your hands undo the buttons of his tux and the white button up he has on underneath.

He stands shirtless in front of you with a grin plastered on his face. "You're so beautiful," he mumbles. He plants a kiss on your shoulder before his hands find their way to the zipper on the back of your dress. He slides it down with care and helps you step out of the dress.

He takes your wedding dress and hangs it up before returning to you on the bed. He pushes a loose strand of hair behind your ear softly. "Can I take this down?" he asks.

You look up at him with soft eyes and nod.

Carefully, he takes out all the pins holding up your hair and allows it to fall down onto your shoulders. His hand cups your cheek and he kisses you again.

He crawls on top of you without breaking the kiss. He plants his body between your thighs and runs his fingers along your exposed skin.

"Wait! I bought a new set just for tonight!" You break the kiss and sit up on the bed quickly.

He pushes you back down onto the bed gently. "Baby don't worry about it. Save it for this weekend when we go on honeymoon. Don't wanna waste another minute."

Singlehandedly, he removes his belt and tosses it onto the floor before doing the same with his pants. He begins kissing down your neck, trailing down to your collarbone and the curve of your breasts. His hand undoes the back of your bra before he tosses it and continues trailing down your body with kisses.

"Cheol..." you whine when his puckered lips reach the hem of your panties.

"Don't tell me you're being impatient now... you were ready to do an outfit change a few minutes ago," he chuckles.

"That's only because I suddenly remembered. It's what most couples do on their wedding night, no?"

He grins. "When have we ever been like most couples?" He slides your panties down and tosses them before he spreads your legs and dips his head between your thighs.

He doesn't warn you before attaching his lips to your clit and sucking on the sensitive bud. You hiss and arch your back off the bed at the sudden jolt of pleasure pulsing through your body. Your hands fly to his hair, gripping his strands tightly.

He licks a stripe between your folds before reattaching his lips to your clit and sucking. You squirm beneath him, but he doesn't mind. It actually boosts his ego, knowing he can make you squirm so much and so quickly.

"Shit," you breathe out as you tug at his hair.

He grins when he feels your arousal starting to coat his face. He's determined to make his new wife feel good and he's relentless in his movements. His tongue is everywhere, darting inside of you and latching along your clit.

You're still writhing beneath him, struggling as he pleasures you to the max.

Your husband has always been a giver.

"Cheol-ah! I'm close," you warn him.

You can feel him grin against your skin. He wraps his arms around you thighs and pins your body down. His tongue is moving quickly, heart set on making you cum on his tongue.

You're whining above him, unable to stay still even as he holds you in place. He can't help but go faster, nose nudging against your clit as his tongue laps your folds, moaning against your skin and sending vibrations coursing through your sensitive body. He's bringing you closer to the euphoric feeling he's wanted to give you since the words "I do" slipped out of your mouth earlier today.

Your back is arching off the bed when you cum and your hands press his head down against your cunt. You're grinding against his face, hips pushing against him and nearly suffocating him.

Not that he minds. If he ever were to die, he could only hope it was between your thighs like this.

Your body is completely overcome with pleasure. He doesn't stop, simply tilting his head up to watch the way your body trembles and how your chest rises and falls quickly as you come back into your senses.

He crawls back up on top of you, pushing your messy hair out of your face. His face is just a few inches away from yours, you can still the the glisten on his lips from your arousal.

"You're always so good at that.... I don't know how I got so lucky," you breathe out.

He grins. "I'm the lucky one baby."

"Cheol... want you inside of me," you look up a him with lust in your eyes, nudging your nose against his.

He's quick to pull his underwear off and toss them onto the floor. The two of you are tangled beneath the sheets in a matter of seconds. His body hovers over yours once again. He strokes his length slowly, eyes admiring and scanning over your body.

He tip teases your folds before he pushes in to fulfill your needs. He tried going in slow, but you were so wet that his length slipped all the way into you. You both breathe out at the sudden feeling.

Your walls are hot and wet and sucking him in. He holds himself up on his hands with his mouth hanging agape. It feels like your first time with him all over again.

It may be your first time together as husband and wife, but it feels foreign despite the many times you've done this. The intimacy is on an entirely new level. There is so much love and adoration radiating from both your bodies, it makes your heart feel full.

"Good?" he asks.

You nod. "Yeah."

He kisses your cheek before allowing his head to fall into the crook of your neck. He draws his hips back before thrusting back into you. His thrusts re slow, but deep. He pushes into you with full force, filling your cunt every time he moves.

He's in no rush, he simply wants to make you feel good. You feel hims groaning and moaning against your collarbone each time he bottoms out.

Your wrap your legs around his torso, pulling him closer and forcing his length deeper inside of you. Your head sinks into the pillow and your eyes fall shut.

"Ah-shit," you breathe out.

The bed shifts beneath you every time he fills you up. "Feel so good Angel," he coos. "My pretty wife."

You can only moan out in response. It feels so fucking good.

"You're taking me so well baby... really were made for me," he moans.

He begins sucking on your neck, leaving dark hickies along your skin. You really are his, his everything. His wife, wearing his ring while marked up with his love bites.

He never thought he'd see this day. He's been thinking about it since the day he met you and now he can't believe you're really his for the rest of eternity.

His love for you is pure and unlike anything you've ever experienced before. He understands you and is willing to do anything to ensure your happiness.

"I'm cumming... fuck," you warn him.

He groans against your skin, indicating that is orgasm is approaching too. He thrusts deep inside of you a few more times before you both fall apart. You cum at the same time, moaning out in unison as he fills you up and you experience another euphoric high.

He pulls out, licking his lips as he sees his cum drip out of you, mixing with your own arousal. He rolls onto the bed next to you, laying on his side so he can still look at you. His fingers move your hair out of your face again, this time playing with the strands gently.

"I love you so much," he says.

You breathe heavily. "I love you more."

"Impossible," he says before placing a sweet kiss on your lips.

He pulls you closer to him, not caring how sweaty you are or how messy your hair is now. He holds you in his arms, fingers tracing over your skin lovingly.

He'll clean you up later, for sure. But right now, he just wants to lay in bed and hold his pretty wife for a little bit longer.

_______________________________________________

© number1mingyustan - Do not repost without permission.

[syoddeye]

consequence / ink

price x f!reader | 1.6k words series directory tags: alcohol, miscommunication (resolved) a/n: john is a down bad, as the youths would say. thank you to my beloved @/pfhwrittes for britpicking. ☕

her cast is gone. a sleeve hides the arm, but it’s clearly off.

john holds the door for a customer, unsure if he ought to take another step or retreat while he can. he tried to compose a text on the flight, on the drive, in the shower. a heads-up, a ‘hello, i’ve returned, i’m sorry, don't worry about my face when you see it’—but he couldn’t. somehow, he thought simply turning up would be better.

when she spots him, the look on her face says a text would’ve been the right call.

ah, well.

she glares over the other man’s shoulder as he pays. he’s truly awful because it only makes him happier to see her. if she didn’t care, her face would be a blank slate.

the man takes a short eternity to move to the end of the bar. john checks to ensure he isn’t holding up a queue he knows isn’t there, if only to buy another second—

“yurbeck.” she blurts out.

“sorry?”

slower, she repeats herself, “you’re back.”

“i am. you’re healed up.” 

“you’re not.”

the black eye he sports is ugly but faded. yellowish, with ugly splotches of blood still pooled beneath the skin. he’d like to say, you should see the other guy, but the bastard’s probably jaguar shit by now. instead, he shrugs. “looks worse than it feels. can we grab a drink when you’re off?”

she glances and frowns at her coworker, who’s clearly listening in over the noise of the espresso machine and sighs. her uncertainty is as plain as day.

“no.”

alright. damage control. he can fix this, he thinks, heart crashing into his gut. he didn’t leave her on bad terms. “listen, i know—”

she interrupts a second time. “we’ll go to mine.”

his mouth shuts, teeth clacking. he won’t argue with that.

~~

before you leave the café, you check your last exchange.

>> thanks for dinner the other night. i had a wonderful time. unfortunately, i won’t be by for a bit.

> ominous > prison?

>> not quite. work. i won’t be able to text.

> well don’t be gone too long > i might forget your order

it’s ridiculous, in hindsight, all your worrying over a man you assumed ghosted you. a regular you took a stupid leap of faith for. the shopping trip was a way to test the waters, and despite an awkward intensity he seemed desperate to hide and his bad jokes, john charmed you. even when you extended the exam to your place, he passed. no snide comments about cece or the decor. he helped with cooking without being asked. washed the dishes. it was a wonderful time. he said it. you believed it.

but two months isn’t ‘a bit’. it’s a disappearing act.

you say as much, as annoyed with yourself as you are with him. he quietly concedes he could have explained better. you tell him friends don’t go MIA for weeks. he laughs.

~~

“funny you should say that.”

“what?”

john stares hard at her profile as they walk. this part is always hard. pivotal. he puts it simply: “i’m in the military—special forces. that’s why i was ‘MIA’, as you put it.”

her brows raise, but she doesn’t falter. “oh.”

his lip curls. he’s been cussed out, fawned over, and ditched entirely for sharing his profession. no one usually reacts so little. it’s a divisive topic. everyone’s got an opinion. 

“that’s it? oh?” john echoes, trying to tease something out. he once listened to her harsh critique of the illegibility of packaging at the café—he cannot imagine her indifference as genuine. “you can ask questions, y’know.”

“okay. where were you? what were you doing?”

crawling on my belly through mud and fending off giant cockroaches. shooting. getting shot at.

“seeing the sights, meeting people.”

that withering glare returns, but it’s shorter-lived this time. she huffs. “see, i assumed ‘special forces’ means it’s the type of military business you don’t get answers about.”

“yes and no. i can’t compromise my clearance.”

“what can you tell me?”

he smiles when she sneaks a look, irritation giving way to curiosity. “i sunburn very easily.”

she snorts. “no way, not with that complexion.”

“and, i have thirty, forty mosquito bites where the sun doesn’t shine.”

john’s bruised cheek hurts from grinning as she laughs. this is the first time he’s heard it uninhibited, neither bitten back nor politely smothered by a hand. he needs to brush up on his humor. he needs to hear that sound more often.

“sorry. i’m a mess.”

john aligns their shoes and removes his jacket. it’s hardly messy. her flat appears mostly unchanged, except for the small mountain of citrus on her dining table. a single banana. she starts to sweep it into a plastic bin, but he catches a stray orange, and his thumb drags over an odd indentation. he turns it in hand, eyebrows pitching at the sight of a rose etched into the skin.

“is this…?” 

he watches her press a machine into a foam insert, then hurriedly zip a case shut. the look on her face clearly says he wasn’t supposed to see that. 

she takes the orange and shrugs. “something i’m having fun with. a new hobby.”

“solid work for a hobby.”

“don’t tease.”

“you’d know if i was.” 

she excuses herself to change after setting the bin aside, stepping over a wary cece. the cat stands guard at the mouth of the hall. unimpressed. he can practically hear the and where have you been?

john gives the cat a fond but tight smile. he’ll need to get in good with her again, too, it seems. he checks the water bowl before settling onto the couch. cece follows to investigate, her tiny black nose tapping his knuckles when he offers a hand. 

her aloofness swiftly melts after he coaxes her into his lap, though he suspects that the subsequent stabbing of her kneading paws is her brand of punishment. little thing seems to relish it.

“you can move her if she’s too much.”

his face lifts, and he wonders if the cat feels the palpitations in his chest.

given what he’s only just learned, he shouldn't be surprised, but the patchwork tattoos decorating her arms steal his breath anyway. the impulse to touch is instant. to trace every fine line and jealously ask where she had them done and by whom. 

he grips the arm of the couch hard, and cece pauses her biscuit-making, eyes half-lidded and judgmental. dismissing the cat, he nonchalantly places a throw pillow over his lap and scrubs a hand over his face.

the plot thickens.

“nice ink. didn’t realize you had any. makes sense.”

“yep. twenty-one. mm. no. twenty-two.”

far more than what the shirt shows. “any damage?” 

her head tilts as she cracks the refrigerator, pulling two bottles by their necks. “nope. don’t got anything there.”

john takes a beer as she plops down. she tucks her legs beneath, and he studies the artfully drawn black shapes on the one arm: a network of barbed thorns and flowers, a woman contorted into a skull, a mouse sleeping in a sardine tin, a stamp, and several stars.

“do you have any?” she asks, taking a swig.

nothing as lovely as hers. the first and last instance john had time to sit for a piece, he was clean-shaven and further from the thick of it. but she’s shown him hers; returning the favor is only polite. “one.” he sets the bottle aside to ruck up his left sleeve. she shifts, and the tips of his ears redden. fuck he wishes it wasn’t so—

“traditional. ha, had you pinned for the type. cute.”

cute. the ink has faded into muted tones, the lines softened. the mermaid’s once coy smile blurs into a vague shape, and now that he looks at it, the anchor’s shank is slightly crooked. the subtle, natural distortions of time make the mermaid perched in the curved arm of the anchor appear as aged as his face.

“can i?” 

she extends a hand. has she touched him before? intentionally?

“yes.”

her fingers follow the lines without an ounce of hesitation or hovering. the corner of her mouth quirks when john instinctively squeezes his bicep, the mermaid’s blue tail flexing under her thumb. he can’t tell what she’s thinking despite watching her pretty eyes. he simply laments he doesn’t have more to show her if only to keep her this close.

john’s focus narrows to the heat of her hand as it moves. he imagines five perfect ovals burning into his arm hair where she grabs and adjusts her view. that his skin might melt, and her palm would graft to his limb for all time, barring surgical intervention.

the first words out of her mouth in a minute are a bucket of cold water.

“six inches, right?”

“what?”

her gaze flicks up. “from the tip to the base?” a prolonged beat passes before she adds, “or, i guess, to the fins of her tail?”

she’s gonna be the death of me. 

“i think so.”

“it’s aged well.”

“ah. you’re taking the piss.”

“you’d know if i was.” she echoes. “i’m serious. i’m guessing it’s fifteen or twenty years old? it could look worse.” her nails scritch in a tight circle for a half-second, long enough that he might combust, but she pulls away and swirls her beer. “why’d you stop at one?”

“busy schedule. and i don’t want to be too identifiable.”

“yes. the chops are the subtler choice.” she smiles behind the bottle. “now i’m taking the piss.”

john thinks of precisely three responses to her cheek, none of which make it to his tongue. he sips slowly, catching on a slip of skin when she stretches, the hem of her shirt lifting just so. a tempting black line practically hooks his eye before it disappears.

“oh, you’re funny. got me curious, though. which one was your first?”

her legs straighten, and she pushes to her feet. “it’ll be easier if i show you.”

[tsukasalvr]

Idk if your requests are open or not AAHH! But if they are:

(Possible TW in my request for mentions of depression, anxiety, commiting di3 joke)

Could you do a reader with bad depression and anixety. And maybe one day reader makes a joke about 0ffing themself and then they dont show up to school for a few days

Characters I would prefer(from TBHK): Kou, Teru, Hanako, Akane(boy)

You can add more if you like! :)

Im sorry its not very specific, this is my first time requesting something

Also sorry i know topics like these are difficult for some people <3

depressed!reader who makes su*cidal jokes

Anime/fandom: Tbhk

Characters: Kou Minamoto, Teru Minamoto, Hanako, Akane Aoi

Warnings: I don’t proofread, depressed reader, mention of suicide

A/n: just got broken up w by my pookie wookie☹️💔

Tbhk masterlist | Main masterlist

Kou Minamoto

Is immediately put off by what you’re saying and is immediately concerned, and gets even more concerned once you get together and just stares nervously at you while stuttering, not knowing what to say

“That’s so embarrassing, if that were me I would kill myself no doubt! Being so stupid like that, I wouldn’t be able to live with myself!” You casually said while looking at a post on your phone.

“O-oh… umm…” Kou is at a loss for words sometimes and tries to brush it off by moving onto something happier to distract you from thoughts like those

When you make a joke that’s one day too far he genuinely seems so much more concerned and ask if you’re okay. He gets so worried about you that it’s best not to make jokes like that near him.

If you don’t show up the next day, he gets worried and is immediately trying to leave school early even though he knows Teru will berate him later for it, he needs to see you’re okay and when he arrives to your house and sees you are, he’s very serious about not making jokes like those again and is invites you to his house more often to distract yourself and is willing to help you get help

Teru Minamoto

Gives you a nervous smile when you joke about suicide and even when you you’re dating he still gives you an obvious fake smile to not hurt your feelings. He knows that outright saying that if you need someone talk to talk to can be annoying sometimes so he’ll try to subtly let you know he’s there

Whether it’s from talking about a topic of a documentary of a tragic life of some celebrity and all they needed help to having Kou telk you that you’re part of the family and that you can tell them anything when you’re over at their house

“I can’t stop messing this up! God I really should’ve taken those pills when I had the chance, what the hell!” You said angrily at the fact you couldn’t get the string through the small hole in the needle.

Teru could only smile at you, he never says anything to your ‘jokes’, but then he stops and just goes to frowning hoping that you’re not being serious

When you don’t show up the next day, he’s not super worried and just assumes you’re late but sends you messages. But after a few hours the messages become more frequent and by the end of the school day he’s running to your house scared. When he sees you’re alright, he’s pissed and says enough is enough and he’s not taking anymore jokes and is instead going to help you

Hanako

He might laugh at your jokes, but it’s only so he doesn’t worry you. He’s not an unfamiliar when it comes to stuff like this and he knows you might now want to talk about it right away so he’s fine with trying to take it slow

On the inside though, his ghostly heart is scared that you’re it joking and you’re actually being serious. He can’t bear the thought of you dying—and especially dying this way so he keeps a close eye on you and has Kou and Yashiro even make sure that you’re doing okay

“God, I’m so stupid and useless” you say with a laugh as you look at your test result and shove the paper back in your bag

Hanako stares at you, and lets out a laugh that’s believe enough. He’s conflicted on what he should do, should he ask how you’re doing? What if you lie to him? Would you even want to talk to him?

It seems as if his worries have come true when you didn’t show up to school the next day and asks if Yashiro or Kou have seen you at all and to message you on those weird electronic things. Yashiro only agrees to go to your house when Hanako asked because she too was worried about you. Hanako waits impatiently the next day and sees you and you tell him you were just feeling sick. If he could, then Hanako would definitely cry and basically forces you to promise to tell him if anything is wrong with a scared and worried expression on his face

Akane Aoi

You’re the most precious person in his life so he takes everything very serious when it comes to you. A paper cut? He’s getting ready to call an ambulance for you and is frantically asking you if you’re okay.

So joking about such topics near him immediately alarms him and hea on full protective mode with asking if you’re joking or not. He takes everything you say seriously, he cares about you a lot so to see you laugh about it, hurts him a little

“What if I jump out this window right now? I really do want to do this test!” You whined and looked over at the window that was right next to where you were sitting.

Akane had a prominent frown on his face, he knew you weren’t exactly mentally okay and you’re jokes were becoming more and more frequent

He’s on full panic mode when you don’t show up to school the next day and the worst possible outcomes are immediately coming to mind. He hopes he’s wrong and is blowing up your phone and is willing to mess up his perfect attendance streak for you, he’ll fix it later. But when he sees you overslept and your phone died because wig wasn’t charged, he’s disappointed. He knew it was getting worse if you dying was what came to mind when you didn’t show up so he pledges to help you

[spence-whore]

You are in love

Spencer Agnew x reader

A/N this was inspired by you are in love by Taylor Swift. Yes, I’m a big swiftie lmao. This isn’t so focused on the lyrics or anything specifically in the song. I just thought the idea of him realizing he was in love with his partner was really cute. This is gonna be a really short one but it’s cute. Simple but sweet:) also, forewarning. I do not get to heavily edit this, so you will have to overlook the typos. I have to go study for my exam tomorrow now. Hope you all have had/are having a good day<3

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Spencer realized he is falling harder and harder each day. It was so cliche but he felt like a teenager falling in love for the first time. He honestly felt like there was no time or use for things like this during this period of his life but then he met you. You were new two years ago to the cast. You were hired on in the art department and had to help Spencer out one day with something for one of his characters. It was like love at first sight for him, as cheesy as it is to say. You just had such a carefree energy. You were also always so happy. You were like a big cup of coffee. Anyone who spent any time around you was in the best mood and ready to kick the days ass.

“Hey loser.” You said as you flopped down in a chair beside his desk. It was the end of the day and usually, the two of you would go to his place and order food then watch something or play a game. Tonight, you two were going over to Shayne and Courtney’s home for a little celebration. “You ready to head out?” You asked giving him a soft smile.

Just your smile alone flooded his chest with the craziest butterflies. He felt heat flood to his chest and he smiled and nodded his head at you. “Yep, we’re going to Courtney and Shayne’s house, aren’t we?” He asked while turning his computer off and grabbing his stuff.

“Yes, I’m gonna go get absolutely plastered and you are gonna have to take care of me for the reeeeest of the night.” You said jokingly, throwing your arm over his shoulder.

Just you touching the man sent sparks flying throughout his body. “Yeah, right. You will take one sip of a drink, complain about it not being good, then give it to me to finish.” He said glaring at you.

The two of you headed out of the office hand in hand, to your car. You were in your head thinking about some of the stuff you had to get done tomorrow and realized someone was burning holes into the side of your head. You looked out of your corner of your eye and seen Spencer staring at you.

“Whatcha looking at, pretty boy?” You asked giving his hand a small squeeze.

Spencer tried laughing it off, slightly embarrassed that you caught him staring at you. He shot his eyes forward then glanced back over at you again, “Something beautiful.”

The two of you finally reached his car and got in to make your way to Courtney and Shayne’s home. There wasn’t much talking. You just played music over the aux while zoning out. Spencer could do nothing but stare at you. There was just something different about you tonight. He didn’t know if it was a certain way you had done your hair or the outfit you were wearing or what. He just felt like he was staring at the graphics in a new video game or something. He couldn’t get over how ethereal you are.

You finally made it to the party and started greeting people as the two of you walked in. You ended up splitting up, as he went with Shayne and Tommy and you went with Courtney, Kimmy, and Amanda.

The three of you stood for a while talking whenever Amanda noticed a certain someone kept glancing at you.

“If someone turns his head to look at you anymore, his neck is gonna break.” Amanda whispered while nodding her head in Spencer’s direction.

“I genuinely don’t think I’ve ever seen him so.. love struck before.” Courtney said giggling. “Ever since the two of you have been hanging out, he just seems so much happier. You just bring so much light to him.”

You started shaking your head while smiling, “No, no. It’s not me that has caused that. He’s just happier in general.” You explained while staring down at your drink and stirring it.

“Y/N. I have never seen that boy blush before until he started talking to you. You are like the sunshine to him.” Amanda said softly smiling at you and you couldn’t help but to blush.

“He honestly makes me really happy. Every other partner I’ve had in the past, I’ve never felt so comfortable with like I do with him. He is like my best friend.” You said while pushing your hair behind your ear.

Courtney just starts giggling while looking towards Spencer, “Literally every time he looks over here, his face lights up. It’s so freaking cute.”

Angela and Arasha walked up, so the five of you started talking about work and Courtney and Shayne.

Over at Shayne, Spencer, and Tommy’s table, they were drilling him about you and giving him shit.

“If you look at Y/N anymore, your eyes are going to burst of your head Spencer.” Tommy said while laughing at him.

“I wasn’t look at them, what are you talking about?” Spencer said while shaking his head and tried to change the topic to a new movie that is coming out. Of course, this didn’t work because he glanced over at Y/N and it was like his brain went to mush. They were standing directly under a light, so it was like a spotlight was on them. They just looked perfect. His words kept getting jumbled together and he kept stuttering. He finally just stopped trying to talk and stared at them for a minute. All he could think about was wanting to go over and kiss them. He was just so enamored by them.

Shayne was looking at him smiling because he knew exactly what it was he was feeling but he didn’t say anything. He knew that feeling because that is exactly how he felt whenever he started falling for Courtney.

It was suddenly like Spencer’s brain just broke down even more than it all made sense to him. All he could think was, holy shit I am in love with Y/N. His chest felt like it was on fire and he started shaking due to nerves.

“Are you okay dude?” Shayne asked noticing that the guy looked like he was about to start crying.

“No. I’m fucked.” Spencer whispered to himself before he chugged the rest of his whiskey.

“What’s wrong?” Tommy asked aloud, looking at the two in front of him.

“I think I’m in love with them.” Spencer mumbled while just staring at the table in front of him. Tommy and Shayne lost it and started shouting nonsense while acting like teenage girls. They never thought they would see Spencer like this because he was always someone who shut down his feelings. They couldn’t get over the fact that Spencer had finally found his person.

Y/N caught on to the two freaking out while their partner sat, looking like he was having a meltdown at their table. You stayed at the table staring at the three till you noticed Spencer was visibly tearing up and starting to cry.

“Oh, shit. I’ll be back, I think something’s wrong with Spencer.” Y/N said before jumping up to go grab Spencer and walk outside. You grabbed a water bottle while on the way and approached their table. “Hey boys, sorry to break up the party for a few minutes. I’m gonna grab curly headed goober here for a second.” You said giving Tommy and Shayne a soft smile.

Spencer just stood up and walked towards the back door that lead to the backyard. You followed behind him and shut the door behind him.

“Hey you, are you okay?” You asked, sitting down beside Spencer on the swing. You placed a hand on his thigh and started rubbing your thumb across his leg then handed him the water in your other hand. “Thought maybe you could use some water. You know, gotta stay hydrated.” You said whispering.

Spencer forced a smile back to you while grabbing the water then shook his head while getting a sip of it. “I’m fucking terrified.” He said while staring at the ground.

“Why?” You asked, taking your hand off his leg and wrapping your arm around his shoulder then resting your hand on the back of his head. You started lightly scratching the back of his head while staring at him, hoping maybe this would calm him down. Little did you know, the little signs of affection you were giving him were driving him absolutely insane. He just wanted to shout that he was in love with you.

You turned a little in the swing to face him but kept your hand on the back of his head. You were giving him a few minutes to try and calm down before asking anymore questions. Out of nowhere’s, Spencer just blurts, “I’m scared because of this.” It caught you off guard. All you could think was, I fucked this up. He’s going to break up with me.

Spencer felt you tense up and all he could do was laugh. “I’m not meaning it in a negative way. Actually, maybe a little. I’m just terrified I’m going to screw this up.” Spencer explained, finally looking over at you.

“Spencer, you could never-“ He immediately cuts you off. “I’m in love with you. I mean I am head over heels, infatuated with you. The second I wake up in the morning, you’re the first thing on my mind. The second I hear news that is exciting, I want to run to find you and tell you. The second I accomplish something, I want to find you and tell you. You give me a reason to be excited about the world, Y/N. I know we’ve only been together for almost eight months but god, I am so in love with you and just want to experience the rest of my life with only you.”

All you could do was just stare at him. “I’m not proposing to you right now, if that’s what it sounds like.” Spencer said while chuckling. “I’m just saying that one day, I want to marry you. One day, I want to do the thing old married couples do with you.”

“Can you say that again?” You asked staring at him in shock.

He looked at you with confusion, “I’m not proposing to you?”

You just laughed and shook your head, “No, no. What you said a minute ago.”

He just nodded his head slowly for a second before turning in the swing to face you. “I am so in love with you.”

All you could do was pull him into a hug and to hold him for a minute. “Is this why you were crying?” You asked laughing a little, pulling back to look at him. He just shook his head yes while looking at you. He looked like he was mentally shitting himself but you realized it was because you had not said anything to him.

“Oh shit, wait, I love you too, you dork.” You said back while giggling. You cupped the side of his face and just brushed your thumb over his cheek for a minute while looking at him.

“God, I am so in love with you Spencer.”

[mapileonxputellas]

Confusion (Leah Williamson x Reader)

Loved this request but I kind of struggled writing it. Definitely not my best work but I got it completed. Request can be found here. 2.4k words x

It’s weird how one single comment can make you question everything in life.

How one single question made Leah wonder if she’d read the signals wrong all this time.

You were all enjoying your night. A games night planned for weeks before the Champions League games against Wolfsburg, a night meant to be fun and light-hearted before you concentrated on final few games of the season.

You and Leah were cuddled up on one of Katie’s sofas, the two of you having teamed up for the game of trivial pursuit. However whilst everyone else was concentrated on the game the two of you were in your own little world, a glass of wine shared between the two of you as well as frequent whispers and giggles as you both stayed on the tipsy side of drunk. Though on days like today you were teased endlessly for it, it was clear as day to all your teammates how in love you both were.

Having ditched the quiz game the group then moved on to a set of ‘who’s most likely’ questions Beth had found on her phone. It was all going well, the questions stayed light and no-one was offended, up until now.

“Who’s most likely to have the most kids?” Beth read out.

“Y/N.” You were slightly bombarded with the flood of responses of your name. Though the odd other name was thrown out, over 75% of the group said your name, including, all though in her head, Leah.

So it couldn’t have shocked her more when you scoffed. “You’ve got that wrong.”

“What do you only want one?” Jen questioned. “Two?”

“More like none.”

“You don’t want kids?” Manu asked.

“Not really. I’ve never really seen myself having kids. I’m happy with Ted.” You said referring to the cockapoo you had recently adopted with Leah.

If you hadn’t have been distracted by the next question maybe you would have noticed the way Leah frowned at your answer. Maybe you would have noticed the way her arm slightly loosened around you, the way she couldn’t bare to look your way. The pure confusion she felt in her mind.

Sadly for her though it seemed that Beth was out to drop as many bombshells as possible. “Who’s the most likely to get married first.”

“Leah and Y/N.” It was clear you were within the top two answers with a few others suggesting Katie and Manu. The spluttering of your name made you nervous and you genuinely didn’t expect to even be suggested for that one, I mean the two of you weren’t even engaged.

All of this just made you uncomfortable, you’d never really thought about any of these next steps when both you and Leah were in the peak of your career. The business end of the season was coming and then the both of you would only have a few weeks alone together before you were back in your separate national team camps. It didn’t seem like something either one of you needed right now. You were happier than ever just how it was right now.

“Can I be a bridesmaid?” Beth asked wrapping her arm around you.

“I’m not getting married so sadly that won’t happen.”

“What do you mean?”

“I mean I just don’t think it’s important. I don’t yeah, I just don’t think about it.”

These thoughts swirling around your head distracted you from noticing Leah’s withdrawal from you. From the way she detached herself from you to grab some drinks to the space separating you once she returned.

You didn’t notice something was fully wrong until you got in the uber on the way home. It wasn’t exactly uncommon for Leah to get a bit handsy after a few drinks but tonight she couldn’t seem to even look at you.

“What’s wrong?” You whispered, gently kissing her shoulder, an action which was greeted by her shrugging you off immediately. “Leah?”

“I think I’m going to go back to my mum’s tonight.”

“What why? It’s late Leah,” You tried to reason but she still wouldn’t even look at you. “I can see something’s upset you.”

“It’s nothing, leave it alone.”

“Leah.”

“Leave it, I’m fine I just want to spend the night with my mum, she wanted to see me.” She lied, trying to force a pained smile on her face.

“If you’re sure?”

“I’m sure.” She agreed, seeing your shared apartment building coming into view but not budging from her seat. “I’ll see you tomorrow.”

“I love you.” You couldn’t let her leave obviously upset without saying something. “I’ll see you tomorrow.”

“I love you too.”

……

Whist you struggled to get to sleep that night, the soft snores from Ted the only sound in the room as you tried to work out what had happened. You had both been fine most of the night and then suddenly she was upset and didn’t want to speak to you.

You tried not to panic but this was very unusual for you both. The two of you were very level headed and after being together for five years you were both very stable in your relationship, you couldn’t imagine life without her now. You’d moved in with each other three years ago and made the next big step in adopting Ted just over six months ago.

“What’s going on with your mama hey?” You whispered mindlessly raking your fingers through his fur. “We love her though don’t we, she’s just silly.”

Meanwhile only a few miles away the very said woman was curled up in her mother’s bed, a mug of hot chocolate in her lap as her mum tried to calm down her sobs.

“I can’t do anything if you don’t tell me what’s wrong.” Amanda whispered, letting her daughter curl up against her. “Why don’t you tell me from the start?”

“We were playing this game and then someone mentioned children, suddenly Y/N just came out and said she didn’t want children.” Leah explained. “We’ve never had the conversation but I just always presumed she wanted them. She’s so good with kids mum, you’ve seen her with babies and children. I just always saw them with us eventually, in the future.”

“Have you talked to her about this?”

“I was going to but then someone mentioned marriage and she just freaked out almost, she didn’t say a word but you could just see on her face she didn’t agree. She almost looked, I don’t know disgusted. Then Beth asked her and she said it wasn’t important, like she doesn’t want to get married. Mum I’ve got the ring and she’s saying things like that.”

“She might not have meant it that way.”

“I just feel like I don’t even know her anymore, I thought I knew everything about her but it turns out I don’t know anything at all, not the important bits anyway. I want to marry the girl and she probably doesn’t even want that now.”

“Leah you’ve been with her for five years, talk to her. Don’t let these thoughts go around your head when it could all be for nothing.” Amanda reasoned. “Sleep here tonight and then go home tomorrow and talk to her. She loves you Leah, more than I’ve ever seen anyone before. Don’t let this ruin it without knowing everything.”

Before tossing and turning trying to get to sleep she glanced down at her phone, a picture of the two of you in front of the Eiffel tower brightening the room, a massive smile on both of your faces as you looked at one another rather than the camera.

Maybe you weren’t as happy as you looked in that moment and that scared her more than anything ever had. You were her world and she could only hope that you were too.

……

You managed to get a few hours of light sleep, waking up every couple of hours almost in hope that you could find Leah next to you. By the next morning though the place next to you was still untouched and the bed felt cold without her. Your mind couldn’t help but worry about whether your relationship was at risk right now even as you tried everything to distract yourself. By 11 you’d already taken Ted on a walk, cleaned the whole apartment and got started on your tea for tonight. You’d messaged Leah to wish her good morning and telling her to ring you but you were yet to get a reply.

The eerie silence in the apartment though meant you were instantly on edge when you heard the door go just before you were about to start on lunch.

“Hey.” You whispered when the blonde came into view, the bags under her eyes a tell-tale sign that she hadn’t got much more sleep than you. “Why don’t you go and sit down, I’ll make us both a tea.”

“Y/N….”

“Tea first.” You ordered, a teasing smile on your face to try and break the awkward silence. Leah thankfully agreed and went into the living room giving you enough time to give yourself a pep talk, Leah was your world and no matter what the issue is you would do your utmost to resolve it. You couldn’t stall this conversation any longer though and once the kettle had boiled and you quickly made up the teas you made your way over, finding her on the sofa. “I can’t help if you don’t tell me what’s wrong.”

“It’s funny my mum said the same thing last night.”

“What can I say, good minds think alike.” You tried to joke but you didn’t even manage to get a smile out of her. “Leah, tell me.”

“You never told me you didn’t want kids.” She came out with and you almost wanted to sigh realising what all this was about.

“That’s what this is about?”

“And you never said you didn’t want to get married.”

“Leah we’ve never had those conversations, did you want me to make it clear on the first date.”

“Don’t joke.” Maybe you made a mistake in trying to lighten the mood when you saw the tears starting to build up.

“Leah.” You tried to comfort her, moving to grab her hand but she moved it before you could. “Can I explain?”

“There’s not much to explain is there, you don’t want kids, I do. You don’t want to get married, I do.”

“You never told me that either.”

“I thought it was obvious, then again I thought you wanted kids. Y/N you’re always around kids.”

“I’m around kids because I have to be. Maybe it came out wrong last night, it’s not that I don’t want kids ever but right now I don’t and that means that right now I can’t see myself being a mother. That’s what I meant. My mum had me very young and they were always busy, they never had time for me. I’ve seen the difference with my sister and I want that.” You explained. “I want to be there for every moment and we couldn’t truly do that right now. We’re both footballers, we’re sometimes away three times a week. I don’t want that for any potential child.”

“Y/N….” Leah could her almost the pain in your voice and it made her want to cry at the anguish you must have felt at being labelled that in the game.

“I just don’t understand why you didn’t talk to me about this.”

“I was going to and then they started talking about marriage.” You could read Leah like a book and you knew from her face that this was the real problem for her by her reaction.

“I didn’t know it was that big of an issue for you. We’ve never really talked about getting married.”

“Obviously because it isn’t important to you.”

“Can you understand that for me though? For me it’s not important, I’ve watched so many people get divorced and it’s almost lost that specialness. Plus I grew up thinking I wouldn’t be able to get married to another woman. Leah I want to be with you for the rest of my life, I don’t need some wedding certificate to allow that to happen.”

“What if I wanted to get married?”

“Then we’ll talk about it. I’m not against marriage, really I’m not. I just see it as more of a celebration of love rather than this like long term commitment because I already am committed to you. Please know that.” You told her, making the move to wrap your arms around her and thankfully she responded by resting her head on your chest. “I love you so much and I think last night maybe it seemed like I was scared of commitments or making those next steps with you but I’m not. I know I want to be with you forever and if those steps come then I’ll be more than happy to experience them all with you.”

“I just feel like it would mean more to me than to you.”

“Leah you don’t know how honoured I would be to be your wife, to show everyone how much I love you. I just want you to know, I don’t know who’s going to propose, but if you want to, marry me because you love me so much, marry me because you want to celebrate our love. It’s a commitment but know that to me it means more than that, it’s about our love. I don’t know if I’m making sense right now but hopefully you get me.” You leaned your head down to connect your lips with Leah’s. “Please just speak to me next time because we’re a team now.”

“I’m sorry.” She apologised.

“We’re good now, don’t worry and I’m sorry for upsetting you.” You apologised too. “I never meant for it to be that way.”

“I understand you now but I know I couldn’t love you more than I love you now. I adore everything about you Y/N and I can’t wait for the future with you, whatever it holds.”

“I love you more.”

[hazshit-hotel-hater]

Surprise! I am going to rant about my own redesign and art! I think this is me mentally preparing for the helluva boss episode next week and praying to god it’s actually good. I’ve also been nursing a bit of a hangover today so forgive me if my wording is a bit more jumbled than usual

Im a big fan of my Angel Dust redesign, but in the general aspect of my art, a lot of my poses are a bit flat. That can be from either posing issues on my end, trouble with facial features, or just some secret third thing, but I think so far Ive been enjoying drawing much more cartoonishly as of recent. That vox canon & headcanon drawing was super super fun to do even though it was supposed to be vivzies style, but I used to have a style with more sharp angles and pointy curves that I honestly kind of miss, I also miss playing with cartoonish proportions!!

My art style may end up changing eventually, but my main pieces will stay in my usual style and my more doodle-y ones will probably be in a more cartoony style like the ones above. While theyre definitely closer to canon and meant to be inspired as such, the difference is that I can draw diverse body types in said artstyle! I also cant lie, Angel’s chest fluff is one of my absolute favourite things to draw and it’s so easy in this style…

About my redesigns though! This is mostly about Angel, but I’m gonna slap this here from DMs with a friend: “Im so pleased with this genuinely im so happy he has his little pedipalps, theyre technically also still his fangs but now he can move them and stuff and :33 typically for male spiders the pedipalps are a reproductive organ but that isnt the case for angel or many other arachnid or insect sinners id say so I think personally most of them have developed pedipalps for primarily other reasons like fangs in Angels case or maybe something similar to cat whiskers for other people”

In my original angel dust redesigns I just couldn’t find a way to draw his fangs in a way that made me happy because I want to keeo the same energy in his face as the original. Big clunky fangs that stick out just didn’t work for him and while they made him look like a spider, he lost that sort of angel-ness that I need when drawing him so I instead looks to the pedipalp aspect of spiders to move them off of his mouth and more onto his cheeks. It’s a very small change but it improved the design in my eyes significantly and just really made me a lot happier. I wont be updating his redesign post as of right now and maybe never will, but if I do yknow why now!

I just really really like drawing this guy a bit rubbery, hes supposed to be fluffy so like he should move kinda soft in a way? I dunno how to explain it rn, its 2 AM at the time of writing this so im gonna lay the hell down now!

[dawn-sunlight]

A New Way To Go Analysis

I believe A New Way To Go is the best Lion Guard song because absolutely everyone brought their A game while making it. The visuals are amazing, the tune is catchy, but I think the best thing about the song is how well it illustrates exactly what's going through Janja's head. There's so much character work you can glean from the song and that's what's so good about it.

“Why am I so confused?  It all used to be so simple.” - Jasiri has completely upset the status quo for Janja; she doesn’t fit in his worldview because she’s a strong, capable hyena who follows the Circle of Life, is friends with a lion(the leader of the Lion Guard no less), and has saved him from death twice now despite being on the opposite side as him, and he can’t ignore his growing feeling that maybe everything he’s known all his life is actually wrong. He didn’t know there was another way, he genuinely thought he had to act like this, but now that Jasiri has offered him another way, he can’t get himself to just forget about it and carry on like normal.

“What changed?  Think!” - He didn’t used to have these doubts, and he’s trying to figure out what’s different now.  He’s trying to figure out and understand what has changed significantly enough to make him question his life and his beliefs like this.

“Jasiri doesn’t fear me she’s been saving my hide!” - He wants to be seen as this tough and intimidating figure, and at first it bugs him that Jasiri isn’t intimidated by him as seen in Never Judge a Hyena by It’s Spots, but now it just confuses him.  And on top of that, she saves him, not just once but twice, despite being on the opposite side as him.

“I know she buys the whole ‘Circle of Life’” - The choice of words here(he says Jasiri “buys” the concept rather than she follows it or respects it or something like that) implies that Janja thought the concept was literally made up and not real, which I do believe is a different case than someone who knows the concept is real and still decides they want more than their fair share.

“I mean, Si Si Ni Sawa’s kinda catchy all right.” - He’s trying to justify to himself why he’s been thinking about what Jasiri said so much.  Also, this song confirms he saw at least the last verse of Si Si Ni Sawa because 1. He knows the chorus to the song despite having never having been sung it, 2. He knows Jasiri sung it to Kion, and 3. He imitates the thing Kion and Jasiri did at the end of the song in his last verse of the chorus.

“He’d never give me something a hyena couldn’t handle, would he?” - Janja's trying really hard to rationalize Scar's behavior and treatment of him and his clan, but his faith in Scar is starting to waver. In the visuals, we see Scar with his master plan, and then we see Janja, Cheezi, and Chungu holding the ground up for him because they’re doing the heavy lifting for Scar.  But when Janja asks “would he?” indicating that he no longer has complete and total faith in Scar, the whole thing crashes down.

This shot right here is beautiful, it really just sums up the whole song in one singular frame.

“‘Si si ni sawa’ means ‘we’re the same’” “Oh no!  It set something off inside my brain!” - Janja hates that Jasiri’s words make sense to him, and he hates that they’re resonating with him even more.

“She says I can trust her but I don’t know, could there really be a new way to go?” - Janja genuinely doesn’t know any better and that’s why he acts the way he does.

“It’s like I’d rather be happy then scrapping for food or respect ugh what’s happening?” - I think this is the line that gets me the most because it shows that Janja never considered his own feelings on things to be more important or even of equal importance than living up to expectations, and when he finally considers “maybe I’d be happier on the other side” he goes “this is ridiculous why am I thinking like this?”  To Janja, it didn’t matter what he actually wanted, because the way others saw him and getting food were more important than silly things like happiness.

“Maybe the stuff I thought was wrong was right! I think I like it but I’m still undecided how to choose, what to do!” - He’s torn between what he’s known all his life as the truth and what he’s “supposed” to do vs what his feelings are saying on the matter.

Since Jasiri told Kion they’re the same, if Janja accepts that what Jasiri says is true and Jasiri and him are the same, that means he also accepts that Kion and him are the same, and Janja knows this.  During the first chorus of A New Way to Go, Jasiri sings Si Si Ni Sawa to Janja, while in the second, she sings it to Kion.  While in the first instance Janja seems more worried about the fact that it resonated, in the second instance Janja seems more annoyed about this.  This and the fact that he crushes them with his paw during the second time indicates that he knows accepting what Jasiri said also means accepting that Kion and him are the same, and that’s something he really does not want to acknowledge.

One of the things the visuals of this song really show is that Janja clearly feels separated from the other side, even Jasiri, and doesn’t know if he really could switch sides because of the divide he feels.

The ending shot is very interesting because of this; while Janja still has his Outlander coloring, the Outlander spotlight is gone, making him still stick out but putting him in the same world as Jasiri and her hyenas, indicating that Janja has accepted what Jasiri is saying, even if only subconsciously.

Jasiri’s portrayal here vs The Worst Hyena We Know is pretty interesting, because in that song Jasiri is much more closed off to Janja.  She’s playful and somewhat flirty towards him, but still has a dismissive and “haha losers” attitude towards him and his hyenas.  Here however, she is a lot more sympathetic and open towards him.  She’s lost the snarky and dismissive attitude she had in The Worst Hyena We Know and is just playful now.  This is because before, Janja only had those kinds of experiences with Jasiri and probably thought Jasiri would push him off a cliff if given the chance(given the fact that he was surprised that she saved him from a horrible death via falling into lava I don’t think this is a crazy conclusion to come to), but now, he knows that’s very not true.

There's even this neat part here where you can parallel the two songs and see the difference

[mgnifique-tion]

— worlds apart.

summary || ``sometimes, genuine love isn’t enough for two to let things stay the same.``

pairing: 2012-2013!loki x gn!scientist!reader song recommendations: love you with all my heart – crush lowercase is intended… » part 1 | part 2

— themes and warning/s: angst yet slightly happy ending (?) somewhere in the middle, forbidden love, thorki happy ending (brotherly,, i can't believe i have to put brotherly in this one)

— a/n: finally, the last part is finished! this took me a while to post bc haha, i graduated and got a job (GOAT fr) 🎓 and idk, i'm not really awesome w the time management (un-GOATified) and i also wasn't happy with my first draft of this so i had to write a whole new second half 😭 but ig if you guys want the other - much happier ending, you can boost this up to 20 reblogs (that would be very great!! thx!! 🤘) and i'll post it right away bc it's already written anyway!!

— edit: check out the song rec,,, it’s magnificent. idk what koreans ate to make good OST 😭 + there's a noticeable timeskip from when loki returned to asgard and his imprisonment there + it was also before frigga's passing :(

[ total words: 2.5k ]

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───── ❝ ❞ ─────

loki left...

but at what cost?

now, you were standing in front of him while he was locked away in the cell provided by s.h.i.e.l.d. and he glared at you coldly, just like how he looked at you the first time. but right now, loki’s mind couldn’t unwrap around the fact that you had turned him in… or at least, that’s what he thought happened since he’s known betrayal far worse than everyone else, not even thor.

“loki.” you placed your palm against the glass as he looked away, a frown plastered over his face as a scowl escaped his lips. he really thought you were set apart from all the humans who were terrified of him, the humans who had surrounded him, and the humans who fired weapons stronger than bullets at him.

but in the end, you were still human… and he hated it badly. “you betrayed me,” loki spoke out, “... you don’t know the extent of your power, do you?”

and those first three words he uttered broke you. how could he think you betrayed him? for god’s sake, you’ve kissed him without thinking twice! you’ve followed his rules without complaining! you’ve eaten a midnight meal with him on the top of a mountain and talked to him about the little girl you failed to save… your little sister.

why on earth would he think that you, out of all people, have turned into a traitor?

“loki,” you said his name once more but in a softer manner, “look, you’re not seeing this right. i would never turn you in–”

“i am seeing it clearly.” he grunted, still not looking at you. he couldn’t dare to look at you after that godforsaken kiss; so heavenly to feel but so hellish to remember. “y/n, i–,” he had to cut himself off, knowing that he’s just called you by your name. the name that every friend would address you by. the name that would remind him that there was this closeness between both of you at one point.

for a short amount of time, he’d want to spend more with you but the universe had told him it was too big of a risk. “... i shouldn’t have set you free… i never expected you to be in front of me right now,” he solemnly whispered, now knowing the consequences of falling for a human. after all, how unethical would it be for a god to fall for some earthly creature? 

he found you beautiful in so many ways that he just couldn’t let himself not feel your lips, his mind overly consumed by the imagination of just taking you, claiming his place in you, and turning you as the right hand to his throne.

having you by his side; that was his fantasy. an everlasting one. 

and this fueled his rage even more against his older brother, who could love a human while he had to be kept in this cage, desperately reaching his hands out to you while the windows shielded you from him as if he was some beast; only allowed to watch but never touch. “you’re mine!” he growled loudly, now staring into your eyes while his fist banged against the glass, making you flinch. “... you were supposed to be mine.” 

as selfish and ridiculous as he may have sounded, saying those words broke him. it shattered him. the truth will always shatter the wall of lies he’s made for himself.

when you thought this situation couldn’t get any worse, you heard thundering footsteps from behind, almost as if it was approaching you. on the other side of the glass, loki’s eyes darkened, a familiar smirk creeping up his face like he’s worn a mask. “... so, you’ve taken l/n away from me as well? how generous.” the god of mischief’s voice was mixed with bitterness and disguised wrath as you turned around and saw the storm’s mighty warrior. 

“listen, brother,” thor called his name with a hint of hope, “that doctor did not turn you in, they just wanted to pay you a visit.”

of course loki didn’t believe him. in fact, loki couldn't; the god of mischief had been lied to many times before he turned his back against those same liars. “if they hadn’t turn me in, then why am i here? why are they not with me? why are they standing next to you outside of this room!?” jealousy seeped into the cracks of his mask, the reality of his emotions destroying himself.

he couldn’t bear seeing his brother standing next to you. “because you’re a criminal,” you spoke up, breaking the silence after loki just shouted at thor’s face. taking another step closer to the glass, you stated, “loki, you’ve taken me hostage and you kissed me–”

“no, you kissed me,” loki claimed.

“because you told me to!” you clarified.

“and you desired it.” he insisted.

while both of you fought, thor stood right beside you with a rather awkward stance, forced to listen to his younger, fucked in the head brother express how much he wanted you to be his. needless to say, it was an unpleasant discussion to witness all in real-time. “enough!” roared the mighty god of thunder, catching both of your attention at the speed of lightning.

but the argument didn’t stop there. “you tell me that i left an effect on you but you’re so full of yourself that you wouldn’t let this go.” and anger found you at that moment, showing loki all the consequences of his actions; what world domination led him to. 

“... my god, loki,” you uttered hopelessly, “you know you don’t have to do this. it never had to be like this.”

in those hours you’ve been around him, you knew that you weren’t the only one controlled by such power. his every move had to be right – had to make the plan progress or else, all things fail and by now, you’ve already noticed that loki so despised it.

loki so desperately didn’t want to bring the whole order down.

“please, your brother is willing to give us a chance–”

“if this is an attempt to persuade me to stop, you’re not doing so well at all.”

of course loki wasn’t quite fond on hearing about what his brother thought about the two of you. he couldn’t care less about him anymore; whether he truly wanted it or not, the plan will push through. 

this world will be molded in his hands and his horns will be everyone’s crucifix. 

so, you tried one more time. “... you already have power over me,” you admitted, your voice trembling in shame and pride. thor, who now stood behind you, couldn’t bear listening to this but he couldn’t help but think that his brother was turning you down over his ruling despite needing clarity that all he needed was love. “is that not enough?”

and there was coldness after the fire, filling in the entire room as you waited. there wasn’t enough patience for loki anymore but you kept on holding on because you had to. if this was the only way you could persuade him to stop all of this, then you had to do it.

if you couldn’t save her before, maybe you could save the people she’s left behind.

but there was no response as the alarms had gone off. agents from around the area had already told the rest of the avengers that dr. banner had turned into the emerald beast and you just had to be kept away from loki’s cell to prevent further damage yet what they didn’t know was that loki had given you a promise: that not even a finger from him would leave a bruise on your skin.

a promise that he continued to stand by even if it’s too late.

“forgive me, doctor.” he closed his eyes for a moment, letting his sorrow sink deeper into his hardened heart. soon, his irises stared into his open palm, determination floating above his guilt. 

“but this can’t be stopped.”

not even an hour later, his cell opened and chaos ensued in the rest of manhattan. creatures from other worlds led, buildings – new and old – fell, and the six were united and formed to defend the planet while the people genuinely thought that the end of the world had come for them; all because of the god with that damn scepter.

unfortunately, he ended up receiving a sentence from his father.

“you have a visitor.” the gentle voice of the woman who stood next to you called onto him. the god was facing away from the window, which exposed him to the other prisoners. those who have been imprisoned just like him no longer treated him with respect; after all, how could the son of odin do such a thing?

yet that was the entire problem: he was not odin’s son. not anymore. “a visitor?” he laughed at the idea of it, believing that no one would dare to visit him at this point. even for him, it was a surprise that his mother was doing that exact thing now after everything that happened.

he never meant to make it this far.

all he wanted was to end his pain but in return, he brought it to everyone.

“and who would that be, mother?”

“... a friend of yours. from midgard.”

the moment that damned planet was mentioned, he lifted his head from the floor, slowly turning around. his pupils dilated at the sight of you standing next to his mother as hundreds of questions broke into his mind. but one question remained unanswered: how on earth did you reach asgard?

“... you.” his gaze, voice, and demeanor softened. the idea of you visiting him in an outer space prison was weakening his cold heart on the spot. 

his mother stared at her son before shifting her gaze at you, giving you a small nod. “i’ll leave you both alone. thank you for visiting him…” she thanked you, taking the steps further away from you, the glass, and her imprisoned son after you returned her with a smile. it was the first time in months that loki had actually looked at someone with vulnerability showing in every crevice of his whole being.

carefully, you went up the short steps of the stairs in front of the glass, walking closer to him as you watched him do the same. “... your brother allowed me to pay you a visit,” you spoke, earning yet another one of those sarcastic laughs he always had. 

“oh, i don’t believe you,” he stated blatantly, “thor would never allow such a thing–”

“it was because he found me crying… about you.” you interrupted him, which silenced him right away. after his sentence had been announced around the headquarters, it felt as if a piece of your heart went missing, a void just forming right there. you never planned to visit him; what he did to manhattan was horrible, the entire world could’ve been put at stake if the black order continued.

but thor insisted after hearing you cry alone in your respective office.

“... well.” he shrugged, chuckling at the thought of it. “it’s unsurprising that he wanted you to see me like this,” he expressed as he looked at how much of a mess he was already, his palms resting against each other before placing them both behind his back. “... was it to embarrass me? in front of you?”

you shook your head and told him sternly, “no.”

he was yet taken aback once more, tilting his head to the side in confusion. he’s always believed his brother would only allow things to interact with him if it’ll shame him to the fullest. shame him for all the things he’s done. all the harm he’s caused.

“are you…” he paused, his throat drying up in anxiety. “... are you ashamed of me?”

it was rare for the god to ever ask someone that question. loki’s already made up his mind: he’s unloved, uncared for. a cunning, manipulative being who played with his subjects, leaving no room for regret in his heart.

but for the first time, he felt afraid of what you felt about him.

because all he wanted to be was to be next to you. to feel you. 

to hold the soft palms of your hands in his and never let them go ever again.

and again, you shook your head and placed your palm over the glass. “i could never be ashamed of you even if i wanted to,” you responded softly as loki’s breath hitched. “... but the things you did– they are… just… wrong...” you didn’t dare to say more as you watched how despair filled his gaze, his approaching hand further away from the glass as if he couldn’t see himself being with you. loki, in this very moment, was forced to swallow and embrace the truth – that the idea of you and him will always remain an idea because of what he did.

so, you’ve lowered your palm, too.

loki turned his back and walked away, his mind taken over by regret. if only he had met you differently, things wouldn’t have been like this. if only he hadn’t been so angry at his known family for keeping such a secret from him, you would’ve been his. if only things had been different, you could’ve been in his embrace right at this very moment.

but he knew that none of those would matter. “you should go.” the god denied himself of this privilege, which was something you didn’t want as you shook your head. you swore to never leave him; not in this state at least.

“and please,” he begged breathlessly as he kept his head down. “... live happily for me.” 

and the entire hall fell silent again. even the others seemed tense, listening to the words exchanged by both you and the god. 

“but i want to stay… i still love you.” those were the only words that could come out of your mouth at the moment, protesting hopelessly. 

“... it’s too late.” his voice trembled at the mention of it and before you could say anything back, his brother entered, catching your attention. with a single nod from him, you knew that it was best to follow the avenger instead of staying longer. after all, you were not part of their world… and neither should loki be a part of yours.

the god’s gaze lingered on you as the moment you were gone, he closed his eyes shut for a while until he realized that thor watched him. “what? are you glad that this happened? glad that i pushed them away for them to be finally free from this? for them to be happy?” loki snapped, scoffing at his brother’s observant glare. in response, thor just sighed deeply, slightly leaning against the glass.

“you do truly love them… if you want, i'll watch them for you. i’ve never expected you to love a human since you weren’t fond of the idea.” it took loki a long pause before he knew that his older brother really was willing to protect you from danger as long as he’s in prison because somehow, they both knew that he’ll escape someday. 

and for the first time, his lips curled into a tiny smile. “thank you… brother.”

[of-many-fandomss]

Mob!AU with Pietro Maximoff x Stark!daughter reader? Either they’re from rival mafias or Pietro works for the Stark family, whatever you think works best. Maybe a Romeo & Juliet vibe where they see each in secret, but with a happier ending?

AHHH IM OBSESSED WITH THIS- THANK YOU FOR REQUESTING

—————

“Guess who,” That infuriatingly flirtatious voice floated into your ear, the breath of its owner hot against the back of your neck.

“Stop,” You huffed, trying to push yourself out of the arm he had slid around your waist, not playing into his game. You ignored the butterflies that had erupted in your stomach and the fire that lingered wherever he touched, “We can’t do this right now.”

Pietro smirked down at you as you pivoted to look at him, an all too familiar glint of mischief lingering in his eyes, “I couldn’t think of a better place.” He tried to play it off innocently, but you knew better.

You rolled your eyes and crossed your arms over your chest, desperately trying to convey that you were annoyed at being pulled into a random supply closet you had been walking past on your way to the kitchen. He didn’t need to know how the crammed conditions to him were making you feel.

“My dad will actually kill you, Maximoff.” You tsked, “We already know that he’s just looking for an excuse to do it.”

It was then his turn to roll his eyes, though there was a great playfulness about him as he did so, “Psh, we both know I’m his favorite employee.”

Employee was a loose term for deadly assassin.

And while Pietro might not be Tony’s favorite, he definitely was one of the biggest assets.

“No,” You poked his chest, the task itself not being difficult considering you had mere inches apart between you two already, “We both know that you enjoy pissing him off a little too much.”

“The don would’ve killed me long ago if that’s what he had wanted.” The man gently took your hand off his chest and held it in his own, squeezing it once.

You sighed irritably, eyes fluttering shut as you suddenly softened and spoke, “We can’t keep sneaking around like this, Piet.”

He smirked, leaning close and beginning to leave a trail of kisses along your exposed neck- you, unable to help yourself, sighing slightly and titling your head back as he did so.

“And why not?” He muttered against your skin, “It’s so much fun.”

Before he could get much further, you got ahold of yourself and mustered every bit of strength that you could to gently push him away.

His eyebrows furrowed momentarily as you gingerly took his face in your hands, making him look you in the eyes.

“I don’t want to keep sneaking around anymore.” You clarified in a whisper.

For once, the man was silent, his eyes searching yours for some unknown purpose.

After a few moments, he finally breathed out, “I don’t either.”

“Good.” You took his hands into yours, being the one to squeeze them this time, almost eagerly, “Then let’s not. I’m tired of acting as if I don’t know you whenever we’re in the same room as others.”

Pietro carefully detached one of his hands from yours and swept a stray piece of hair behind your ears, “Weren’t you just the one saying that your dad will kill me?”

“I won’t let him.” You promised earnestly.

He was silent for another moment before he leaned in and softly captured your lips against his, “Then let’s do it.” He breathed out when he pulled away, “No more hiding. No more lies.”

A genuine smile broke out onto your face, “I can’t wait.”

[sergeantbuckybarnes]

jealousy, jealousy // ben barnes

Summary: Ben was eager to catch the latest episode of your tv show. However, a surprising scene featuring you and your co-star sparked a heated argument.

Pairing: Ben Barnes x Reader

Word count: 3.6k

Warnings: jealousy, insecurities, angst, implied smut, a bit suggestive at the end but nothing too graphic

A/N: As always, remember English is not my first language. This isn’t proofread, so I apologize for any grammatical errors this may have

main masterlist  |  ben barnes masterlist

It was Friday. 

And that meant it was movie night with your boyfriend.

From the early stages of your relationship, you both established a beautiful tradition of spending Friday evenings in the cozy confines of your apartment, indulging in a delightful combination of film, pizza, and delectable treats.

This tradition had become an unwavering commitment over the past three and a half years— a steadfast ritual that neither of you dared to skip.

Even when circumstances forced you to be apart, such as being away filming, you still respected this tradition. You would connect via Skype or Zoom, syncing up the start of the movie in your respective locations. As the film played out on your screens, you would engage in lively discussions, intertwining conversations about the movie with updates on your day.

You guessed it was one of the things that made your relationship work so well — the commitment and the effort you both put in right from the beginning.

In the early days, your friends warned you that dating another actor would be a recipe for disaster. They believed that the constant filming and conflicting schedules would pose insurmountable challenges, leaving little room for quality time together. But those naysayers couldn't have been more wrong. 

Your relationship with Ben flowed so easily. Of course, there have been setbacks along the way, but you have faced them together. Like a team.

And you have never been happier. 

He understood you on a level that no one else did. He listened to your thoughts, your dreams, and your fears without judgment or interruption. With him, you felt comfortable opening up about anything and everything, knowing that he would always provide a safe space for you to share. He seemed to know your needs before you even expressed them, always anticipating how to make you feel loved and supported. He was attentive, empathetic, and patient, consistently demonstrating that he genuinely cared about your happiness. It was refreshing and exhilarating to actually feel seen and heard. He was everything you had ever wanted in a romantic partner.

Now, going back to your movie night… Things weren’t going the way you expected.

“I thought we could bend the rules a bit tonight,” Ben suggested once you were settled on the couch, pizza at the ready, and Netflix on the screen.

Intrigued yet cautious, you paused your scrolling and fixed your gaze on him. “What do you mean?” you asked, confused, not understanding what he meant.

His arm casually draped over the back of the couch as he got closer to you; his eyes sparkled with mischief, and a mischievous grin played on his lips.

You could tell he was up to no good.

“Maybe we could watch a TV show instead?” he suggested, the innocent tone of his voice didn’t match his face. “Your show. The latest episode aired just yesterday,” he clarified. 

A groan escaped your lips. “Really, Ben? You know I don’t like to see myself on TV.”

But then, he unleashed his puppy dog eyes and his best pout, and you were completely under his spell. 

It was as if his eyes held an invisible power, drawing you closer and coaxing a smile from your lips. Surrender was inevitable; his adorable charm had effortlessly won you over.

You rolled your eyes. “Alright.” You accepted the surrender.

A triumphant grin spread across his face as he pumped his fist in the air, a glimmer of excitement shining in his eyes. He eagerly pulled you closer, wrapping you in his embrace, and planting a tender kiss on your lips.

This was another thing you loved about your boyfriend—how supportive he was of your career. It didn't matter if your roles were small in movies, TV shows, or any project you were part of; he was always genuinely thrilled to see them. He was genuinely proud of every accomplishment you made, no matter how big or small. The sight of his radiant smile as he watched you on-screen never failed to fill you with immense joy. His unwavering support was a constant reminder that you were truly blessed to have him in your life.

You were the same with him. Just as he cheered you on in your acting career, you reciprocated his unwavering support in his. From the smallest role to the most significant breakthrough, you were always there, eagerly anticipating his performances on the big screen. The excitement in your heart swelled as you witnessed his talent come alive, immersing yourself in the characters he portrayed.

You cherished the moments when you saw him on screen—the familiar sound of his voice, the spark in his eyes, and the passion he brought to every role. His talent captivated you, just as it did to countless others. And with each new project he took on, your admiration for his craft grew deeper.

It wasn't just about the successes. You were there for each other during the auditions, the callbacks, and the moments of self-doubt. You provided the other a shoulder to lean on, offering encouragement and reminding each other of your incredible talent when you both needed it most. You understood the industry's ups and downs, and your belief in your abilities never wavered.

“Alright, alright,” you chuckled, gently pushing him back as he started peppering your face with sloppy kisses. “I’ve already agreed; no need for bribes.”

Ben chuckled and planted one last peck on your cheek before settling comfortably on the couch. He grabbed the remote and switched the streaming platform, searching for your show.

The show was called ‘Behind Closed Doors’. It delved into the tumultuous life of Amelia Hartfield, a young woman forced into an unwanted marriage with Sebastian Whitmore, the scion of a wealthy family, all due to dire financial circumstances. Not only did Amelia harbor reservations about this union, but her own sister harbored a forbidden love for her soon-to-be husband and was willing to go to any lengths to eliminate her as a rival. 

As the opening credits rolled on the screen, Ben's leg began to bounce with fervent anticipation.

“Why are you so excited? It’s just me.”

Ben turned to you with a playful grin. “It’s not just you. It’s Amelia and the mess her life is. She was forced to marry a man she doesn’t love, and, in case you haven’t watched the episode from last week, which you haven’t, her sister tried to kill her! If it wasn’t because Sebastian was there, she would be dead!”

You chuckled. “You know she can’t die, right? She’s the main character.”

He playfully rolled his eyes. “Always so humble.”

“Anyways, Sebastian admitted to his friend that his feelings for Amelia are genuine. And guess what? Isabella, Sebastian's childhood friend who secretly harbored feelings for him, overheard his confession. And at the end of the episode, she joined forces with Amelia's sister to hatch a sinister plan to end Amelia's life.”

You found it amusing how he narrated the story as if you weren't already familiar with every twist and turn.

“I think you got yourself too invested in this show,” you chuckled, attempting to snatch the remote from his grasp. “You’re starting to take this to another level.”

“No, no. I promise I won’t get too caught up! I promise!” He gripped your waist tightly, and you couldn’t help but laugh at his childish antics.

Gently extracting yourself from his tight grasp, you managed to retrieve the remote from his hand and playfully held it out of his reach. “Alright, Mr. Overly Enthusiastic, let's watch the episode. But you better behave, or I’ll turn it off.”

Ben's eyes sparkled with mischief as he feigned innocence. “I always behave. I promise to keep my reactions in check.”

You settled back on the couch, leaning against Ben's side as he draped his arm around your shoulder.

As the episode unfolded, you started to regret agreeing to watch it. You remember filming it. At the end, your character, Amelia, and Sebastian, who was portrayed by Bill Skarsgård, laid bare their emotions and consummated their desires in a rather explicit manner, devoid of any subtle undertones.

Both being actors, you and Ben came up with a mutual agreement to disclose whenever a steamy scene was to be filmed. This arrangement was born out of a desire to fortify the foundation of trust between you both. And so, even if it is acted, no one wants to see their partner being intimate with someone else. You both have followed this rule for years, but for some reason, you forgot to mention this scene to Ben. And you knew it was going to lead to an awkward and uncomfortable moment, and, quite possibly, into a fight you didn't want to have.

It was too late to turn it off now.

As the scene unfolded on the screen, a knot formed in your stomach. You could sense the tension building, knowing that the explicit nature of the scene would undoubtedly make things awkward between you and Ben. Your gaze discreetly darted towards him, studying his reactions with keen interest.

At first, he appeared engrossed in the storyline, his eyes fixated on the screen. But as the scene progressed, his expression shifted, and you could see a flicker of discomfort in his eyes. His grip on your shoulder tightened ever so slightly, and you knew he had realized the nature of the scene.

A whirlwind of emotions swept through your mind. On one hand, you empathized with Ben's potential unease, realizing that you would feel the same if the roles were reversed. On the other hand, a pang of guilt pierced your heart for neglecting to give him a heads-up about the explicit content. You desperately wanted to shield him from any unnecessary discomfort.

When the episode ended, you reached for the remote and turned off the TV. Swallowing your own apprehension, you took a deep breath and mustered up the courage to address the situation. “Honey... I'm sorry. I should have told you about this scene beforehand. It completely slipped my mind.”

Ben's face remained impassive, his gaze deliberately averted from yours as he digested your words. A heavy silence settled between you, filled with unspoken tension. The air in the room suddenly felt thick, and you could sense his growing frustration.

Finally, he let out a sigh and turned to face you, his expression tinged with disappointment. “You should have told me, Y/N. We made a promise, remember? To always let each other know about intimate scenes in our projects. I thought we had each other's backs.”

Guilt washed over you as his words sank in. He was right. You had broken the agreement you both had made, and now you were facing the consequences of that oversight. You had let him down, and the weight of your mistake hung heavily in the room.

“I know, Ben,” you said, your voice filled with remorse. “I messed up, and I'm truly sorry. It was an oversight on my part, but I truly forgot. I understand why you're upset, and I want you to know that I didn't do it intentionally. I value our trust, and I don't want to jeopardize it.”

Ben's gaze softened slightly, but his disappointment was still evident. “Trust is important to me, Y/N. It's the foundation of our relationship, both on and off the screen,” he expressed, his voice carrying a tinge of sorrow. “When we made that agreement, it was about ensuring that we never had to see each other being intimate with someone else. It's not just about the physical act, but the emotional impact it can have.” 

For a brief moment, you thought this would be solved without an argument, but then he spoke again.

“I mean, do you think it was fun for me watching you naked, moaning under Bill Skarsgård while you seemed to actually enjoy it?”

“Actually enjoy it? Are you serious right now?” You raised your voice, your body heating up with anger. “I can't believe you would even suggest that I found any pleasure in that scene,” you fired back, your frustration seeping into your words. “As an actor, it's my job to portray the character and the emotions they go through. Just because it looked intimate on screen doesn't mean it was enjoyable for me. You, of all people, should understand this. It was a professional commitment, and I take my work seriously.”

Your heart raced with a mix of anger and hurt. You had always been open and honest with each other, but this situation was testing the boundaries of trust and understanding. The fact that Ben would question your commitment to the relationship and your professionalism stung deeply.

“Oh, so I’m the problem now? I’m the one overreacting?”

You let out an exasperated sigh. “That’s not what I said. Are you even listening to me?”

“I’m listening. And you’re acting as if it’s okay that you filmed this and didn’t tell me about it.”

“I’ve already told you that I forgot!”

“It’s a sex scene, Y/N! How on earth does something like that just slip your mind?” His body tensed, and he began pacing the living room, intensifying the already charged atmosphere.

The room crackled with mounting tension as Ben's frustration reached its peak. His restless footsteps reverberated, amplifying his exasperation. The sheer force of his anger seemed to permeate the air, causing a tumult of emotions to swirl within you.

“I mean, come on, Y/N,” Ben continued, his frustration evident in his voice. “Bill Skarsgård is like every woman's fantasy. He's tall, handsome, and let's not forget those intense blue eyes of his. It's no wonder women all over the world swoon over him.”

You crossed your arms, annoyance bubbling up inside you. “Are you seriously comparing yourself to Bill? Is that what this is about? You being jealous?”

Ben stopped in his tracks, his eyes narrowing as he glanced at you. “You can't deny that he’s attractive, can you? I mean, let's be real here. He's a Hollywood heartthrob, and women drool over him.”

“Don’t make this about Bill or any other external factors. This is between you and me. I'm committed to you, and my love and dedication for you don't waver just because I have to portray intimate scenes on screen.”

“Is it just an intimate scene, or there’s more to it, Y/N?” Ben's frustration seemed to dissipate slightly, replaced by a hint of vulnerability in his eyes. He paused for a moment before speaking again, his voice softer this time. “You and Bill have spent a lot of time together on set, and it's natural for connections to form. Do you think he sees you solely as a friend and co-star?”

You let out a heavy breath, recognizing the depth of his insecurities. “Ben, I understand why you might have these concerns, but I want to assure you that my relationship with Bill is strictly professional. We work together, we act together, but that's where it ends. Just as I have complete trust in you, I expect the same trust from you. Accusing me of having feelings for Bill based on a scene we filmed is unfair.”

Your words hung in the air, the weight of the situation becoming more apparent. The room fell into silence as both of you processed the intensity of the argument. You could see the conflict in Ben's eyes—a battle between his insecurities and his love for you.

He let out a frustrated sigh, his voice laced with desperation. “I know it's irrational, but I can't help but imagine all the things that could happen on set. You think I haven’t seen the comments of people praising your chemistry? Emotions can get blurred. It scares me, Y/N.”

Tears welled up in your eyes as you listened to your boyfriend’s words. You had never seen him like this before, vulnerable and scared. It broke your heart to see the person you loved so deeply consumed by jealousy and fear.

Drawing nearer to him, you reached out and gently took his hand in yours, hoping to offer him some comfort. “Honey, I understand that it's natural to feel insecure sometimes, especially in our line of work. But you have to trust me when I say that my heart belongs to you and you alone. There is no one else who holds the place you do in my life.”

Ben's grip on your hand tightened, and his gaze met yours, searching for reassurance.

“Ben, you are more than enough for me, and I love you with all my heart. I chose you, and I choose you every single day. I want to build a future with you, and nothing will ever change that,” you continued, your voice filled with sincerity. “I can't control what others say or the fantasies they may have, but I can assure you that my feelings for you are unwavering. I'm committed to our relationship, and I want us to face any challenges together. If you ever feel insecure or have concerns, I'm here to listen and support you.”

Tears trickled down Ben's cheeks as he listened to your heartfelt words. The weight of his insecurities seemed to lessen, replaced by a glimmer of hope in his eyes.

“I'm sorry, my love,” he whispered, his voice filled with remorse. “I let my fears get the best of me, and I allowed them to cloud my judgment.”

You gently brushed away his tears, your touch soothing. “We all have moments of insecurity, and it's okay. What matters is that we address them and work through them together.”

Ben nodded, his eyes filled with love and relief. “I never want to lose you, Y/N,” he admitted with a shaky voice. “You're my everything.”

“And you're mine,” you whispered before pulling him into a warm embrace.

A sensation of calm rushed through you as you held each other tight. At that moment, the world seemed to melt away, leaving only the two of you in a cocoon of serenity.

“Besides,” you began as you stepped back, “Bill doesn’t stand a chance next to you.”

“And why’s that?” He asked, raising an eyebrow, his voice tinged with curiosity.

“Well, by now, you should already be aware that I like my men with floppy dark hair, beautiful dark eyes, and, most importantly… British.”

A soft chuckle escaped Ben's lips, his eyes twinkling with delight. “Ah, so it's the accent that does it for you, huh?”

You nodded, playfully poking his side. “Absolutely. It's impossible to resist.”

He pulled you closer, his arms enveloping you in a warm embrace. “Well, lucky for me, I happen to possess that irresistible quality. Though, I must warn you, it can be quite addictive.”

A genuine smile blossomed on your face, the warmth of the moment washing over you. “Yes, you definitely do.”

Ben’s lips drew closer to yours, the warmth of his breath brushed against your cheek, causing your heart to quicken in response. With a gentle touch, his lips grazed yours, leaving behind a tantalizing blend of mint and his unmistakable essence, intoxicating your senses.

Breaking the kiss, you couldn't resist the mischievous grin that crept onto your lips.

“Oh, and have I mentioned what an exceptional kisser you are? You certainly have a way with it,” you playfully teased, wiggling your eyebrows suggestively. 

A chuckle escaped him, his cheeks turning a shade of crimson. “You're really boosting my ego here, sweetheart.”

“Just stating the facts... Oh, and should I also mention your incredible skill with your hands, like—”

He cut you off, closing the gap between you again. His lips molding perfectly against yours, as if they were made for each other. And in a surge of fervor, the kiss deepened, growing more passionate and filled with intensity.

Your fingers traced the contours of his face, while his touch ignited a fire within you, sending shivers down your spine.

With a swift motion, Ben's strong arms enveloped your thighs, effortlessly lifting you off the ground. You eagerly wrapped your legs around his waist, feeling an exhilarating surge of warmth and electricity pass between you. His hand tightened its grip on your body as your kiss intensified, and your fingers instinctively tangled themselves in his hair. A soft moan escaped his lips as you tugged gently on his silky locks.

Reluctantly, you broke the kiss, your foreheads lightly brushing. Both of you were left breathless, but your hearts overflowed with contentment. The worries and insecurities that had clouded your conversation melted away.

“I love you,” he breathed, his words melting against your lips.

“I love you too, Ben,” you replied, your voice barely above a whisper. “You mean the world to me.”

He lowered you back to the ground, but his arms remained securely wrapped around you. 

“Wanna watch that movie like we originally planned?”

Your boyfriend shook his head. “I have other ideas in mind.”

You noticed the glint of mischief sparking in his onyx eyes. 

“Oh, and what would those ideas be?” You inquired, playing along.

A devilish smile played on his lips as he leaned in, planting a trail of kisses on your neck. The intensity of his touch awakened a fiery passion within you.

“You, in bed, naked, under me… and on top of me. In any position…No limits, no boundaries. Just pure, unadulterated pleasure,” he murmured, his voice low and husky against your ear.

Heat flushed through your body. Your heart pounded in your chest, sending a thrilling shiver down your spine at the mere sound of his words. The rush of excitement that overwhelmed you was intoxicating.

"Sounds like a perfect plan to me," you whispered, your voice filled with desire.

He lifted you effortlessly into his arms again, and carried you toward the bedroom where passion consumed both of you for the rest of the night.

[lycandrophile]

I cannot thank you enough for your posts about top surgery. I'm hoping to get mine in a couple years. Your updates are really comforting to me, even (maybe especially) the bad stuff because it makes me feel more prepared. I hope your recovery keeps going well!

On another note, how did you decide whether to keep your nipples or not? I like how chests look with and without them, so it's hard to choose

for me there were a few factors that led me to go nipless:

the biggest thing was that when i imagined my body post-op, i naturally always saw it without nipples. that was just what felt right when i thought about how it would look — i didn’t even have to think about it, that’s just what came to mind. i figured, if i’m automatically picturing myself like that, that’s probably a good indication of what i would be happiest with.

i’ve also always had sensory issues related to my nipples. i basically wore a sports bra constantly, including when i slept, because i hated the feeling of loose fabric touching them and moving against them. so if i had kept my nipples, i would’ve ended up with either no sensation or more discomfort, not anything positive.

i really didn’t want to deal with the healing process for nipple grafts. my skin is super sensitive and finicky, so if anyone would be almost guaranteed to have problems with graft healing, god only knows it would be me. i also know i’m more prone to infection than most people, so avoiding the part of the surgery that has the highest chance of infection seemed like a good plan. on top of all that, i’m also a huge baby about having to touch any sort of injury on my body (just putting moisturizer on my mostly healed incisions was something i had to work up to), so i knew doing the graft care would be difficult for me too.

i know that i can be super picky about the way things look, especially when it comes to things like spacing and symmetry. so if i had gotten nipple grafts, i think it’s super likely that i would’ve ended up feeling like they were put in the wrong place or being bothered by any asymmetry in how they healed. obviously i wanted to pick the kind of surgery that was the most likely to give me results i would be fully satisfied with, so getting grafts despite knowing i’d probably end up nitpicking them for years to come just seemed silly.

i honestly really love the idea of having a chest that’s visibly different from a typical cis man’s chest. the goal of my transition has never been to look cis and i take a lot of pride in being recognizably trans, so having a kind of surgery that isn’t just trying to imitate what i would look like if i were cis was really appealing to me.

going without grafts is just cheaper, so given all of the other reasons i didn’t want grafts, there was just no reason for me to spend extra money on them. i want a few extra hundred dollars in my bank account way more than i want nipples.

and in hindsight, i genuinely couldn’t be happier with my decision. when i look at my chest, even now while it’s still not fully healed, it looks just like how i always imagined i would look with a flat chest and feels like the most natural thing in the world.

if you’re having trouble deciding which you like better, i would try just closing your eyes and imagining both on your body. this was one thing i did if i saw someone with grafts whose results i really liked and felt uncertain in my decision, because what i always ended up realizing was that no matter how good they looked on other people, it felt super weird imagining them on myself. in fact, most of the time i struggled to really even picture it at all.

you could also try gathering a bunch of pictures of both types of results and seeing how you feel about all of them. maybe when you look at the results with grafts, there’s only a few that you feel like you would be dissatisfied with, but when you look at results without grafts, there are a lot more that you probably wouldn’t want. or maybe it’s the other way around. like i said, you’re going to want to go with the kind of surgery you’re mostly likely to be happy with, so if you seem to be more critical of one kind of surgery’s results than the other, that can help guide your choice.

and if you really don’t feel any differently about them, consider the other factors: how do you feel about the healing process? is sensation in your nipples something you find pleasure in and would consider trying to preserve? what does the difference in cost look like for you and how important is that to you? how important is it to be able to pass as cis if necessary? and so on. your decision might end up being made based on something other than pure aesthetics and that’s totally okay.

[bronx-bomber87]

Happy Monday Fandom :) This episode is all kinds of cute. I love it so much. We get to see the depth of what Lucy would do for Tim. After he just showed up what he’d do for her in 5x12. It’s so good. Let us get started.

5x13 Daddy Cop

We start with Lucy in roll call. I would like to point out Lucy picking a spot in the back of the room. She’s never once done that before. Doing it so she can check in on her husband. Lucy is somewhat subtle about it. But she can’t help but check on him. Knowing the bullet he took for them. She literally can’t help but look back on her man. Such lingering glances too. *heart clutch.* You can see in the second one he’s looking back at her too. How can these two kill me so much with such subtle glances? Damnit I love them so much.

Lucy could not be cuter running up to see Tim before her shift. Physically turning his chair around. He couldn’t be happier to see her. First time we’ve seen him light up today. You guys are so loud and I love it. Little work flirt before her shift. Lucy saying looks like he has a lot to uh....Liaise LOL Tim straight lying to his person like he thinks he can get away with that nonsense. Lucy replying she thought they would never lie to each other.

Tim shooting back 'That was a lie.' Lmao I’m dying their banter on point as usual. The sassy face she gives him. Be more married you two please. Love these idiots in love. Lucy can’t stand it and says he’s miserable. Tim with a very unconvincing ‘No…’ Lucy isn’t buying what you’re selling....Babe your girlfriend sees right through you. Always has. She has the book of Tim locked away in her head.

Tim trying to convince her it’s not that bad. 'Nice people…Low stress….'The more you speak the more she knows you’re dying Tim. A subtle cry for help. Or not so subtle really lol He doesn’t regret doing this for her at all. But she can’t stand him doing this when he’s so clearly miserable. Lucy knows this man. He will suffer in silence if it makes her happy and they get to be together. A decision I know he would make again. Because she is his person also as we saw last ep his blindspot. So he would do anything even at his own detriment.

Her big friggin dork of a man giving her a thumbs up and telling her to 'Be safe out there.' LMAO I love this man so much. Dork Tim has been activated. She loves this goober in front of her nonetheless. Lucy’s cute head tilt knowing he’s putting on an act for her. Then he lights up like a Christmas tree saying he’ll see her at the end of shift. He can’t wait because he has someone to go home to now and I love this.

The most genuine he is the entire scene. Knowing he will get to see her end of shift. The best part of his day will be seeing her and I love that. It’s written all over his beautiful face. Lucy however isn’t smiling as she walks away. Knowing this job is making him miserable and she can’t stand it. His intentions being the best and purest. But also knowing she needs to fix this for him somehow. She just doesn’t know how just yet…

Lucy sees Metro piling in and immediately thinks of her man. How well he would do there. How good he would fit in. I just adore her conferring with Harper one this. Also her spending the entire episode trying to find him a better position. Earlier in the episode they had a convo about a 5 player trade. Trying to create an opening so one could open up for Tim.

Metro has now become a potential option for Tim. She wants to start her trade. Harper warns her this could come with consequences. For her and Tim. To Lucy that’s worth it though. Tim blocked her making a sacrifice in 5x12. He is WORTH the risk of her ruffling some feathers to get him a better position. Never be over them consistently doing whatever for each other. Makes my soul happy.

So much to love about this next scene. I adore Lucy seizing the opportunity to solve Tim’s job problem with the group. They’re all gonna be at Nolan’s anyways... Might as well be one giant brain to save her man from his desk job. Super brains assemble and you know Nolan lol Their sticky note game is strong as they try to figure out an opening. Just as they crack it Tim shows up at the door.

John says his name loudly so they all hear him. Which causes them all to scramble to disassemble their brain storm session. So funny to watch them get the post it’s down as fast as they can. Then trying to get back to their seats as John does horribly at stalling Tim. I mean it's so horrible and awkward. Tim's face when Nolan is speaking is too funny. Wondering if he made a mistake in coming over here... LOL

I love him pointing out Lucy’s car and no one else’s. Could care less there are other cars out there. He points out his girl's car only and asks about it. This makes me giddy on so many levels. The minute he enters the room they could not be more obvious. The looks say everything. Also all these scenes just hit differently knowing they’re together. Makes me so happy. Look at Lucy above she couldn't be more obvious if she tried. You're a UC Lucy you can do better LMAO Being under pressure is the name of the name and you fall like a cheap house of cards here haha. It's too cute though especially with her little eyebrow pump.

Let’s not gloss over how delicious Tim looks in this scene. I always love me some street clothes Tim. But hot damn that tight t-shirt and those jeans. His hands in his pockets showing off those biceps.*fans self* Angela’s face when he talks to Lucy I’m dying. If she didn't know at this point she sure did now. Look at her in that first gif. So telling it's hysterical. Tim sensing something is off but he isn't sure why. Like did you think your man wouldn’t notice this?

So he zero's in on his girl and asks if she's ok? Not anyone else in the room just her. I LOVE how softly he asks if she’s ok? Looking right at her. Tim lights up when he speaks to her. Which gives me all the feels. His Lucy demeanor on full display in this scene. Seriously be more obvious you two. Lucy looking smug as hell and trying to keep it under wraps. Angela continues to crack me up with her expressions. Angela Lopez you are a treasure.

Lucy comes to Smitty he is the final piece in this 5 player trade of hers. They figured out how to get it done but he is sadly an essential piece. Lucy goes into this scene prepped and ready to go because well it's Lucy. This scene is hilarious because Smitty already knows the plan if Fuji retires. Flooring Lucy completely. I commend Melissa and her facial expression here it’s so funny. She gets Smitty to agree to help her in getting his friend to retire. He wants a favor though. Lucy immediately says 'Nothing weird.' LMFAO. Oh the things we do for love.

Tim eagerly comes to find Lucy end of shift. He’s so excited he’s going to come out of his skin. He heard about Lauren Fuji retiring. He's so excited as he explains this all to her. Look at that man. Bursting with joy to share this news with her. I love the pre-excitement on her face as he speaks. Saying she doesn't know how he keeps its all straight. Well played Lucy hehe

I adore him running to his person the moment he has news for her. Lucy is his safe place. One he goes to for all things good and bad. What I love most about this is Tim allowing himself to be this excited and keyed up around her. The man is glowing most of this conversation. Not holding back one emotion from her. Being as genuine as we’ve ever seen him. It does my heart good to watch him thrive in this relationship with her.

I’ll probably say this multiple times in this season. But this is what it looks like to be truly and unconditionally loved. The background this man came from, the relationships he had before her. It's hard to express emotions when they're always suppressed like his have been in the past. It's a joy to watch him like this. He's never experienced what he's had with her before. We’re watching this new Tim come out and it glorious to watch unfold. To see what it looks like when he properly loved on. To be put first and built up.

We watch as Tim tells her his tale. Explaining what all this means. Getting more excited by the minute. The way he leans into her as he tells her everything. Lucy pretending she doesn't know any of this. Playing dumb about it all and damn well at that. He has no idea. Lucy acting like this is all "new" to her. Tim getting all amped up letting her know there's an opening in Metro now. Well that there was.... Alluding to his reply down below.

What is getting her all smiley and excited is his excitement in this moment. It’s infectious and she is beaming with happiness for him. Knowing all the effort she put in was so worth it to get this reaction. She knew he would be a good fit and this proved it. He is BEAMING with excitement when he tells her he got the Metro Job. No one else he would rather share this with. This whole relationship is such a good look on him it’s insane.

Lucy's affectionate hit is everything. He loves it and is it's only adding to his already insane amount of excitement. All his other work achievements she had to regulate herself. Now she can fully be herself and be excited for him. Hence this cute reaction of hers. Loud and proud wifey right here. She is so damn excited and proud of him. No one has been a bigger cheerleader for this man than her. it’s only amplified now that they’re together.

Tim tells her he got a rock star review from Grey. Then we get some massive heart eyes from Lucy. Look at her above. If you wanted to see what being in love look it's her expression. What I love about this is Lucy getting to tell him he’s amazing. To his face. For years she’s told everyone around her about this amazing man. Gushed about him. This is the first we get to see her say it to his face. For him to hear her say it. Not only that but to hear it with so much love, pride, and affection in her voice. Love in her eyes for him. *squee* Building him up once again in a way only Lucy can. This is so precious I cannot.

Tim is feeding off her positivity and love. That nose crinkle might be the death of me. He’s SOOO amped and being this excited in front of his girl has me feeling things. He is so bright and happy it’s making me a puddle of giddy goo. Lucy brought this man back to life in so many ways. She is bringing out this new side of him and I’m so here for it. I’m so giddy for him and Lucy is feeding off it as well. I continually ask. Have we ever seen this man this excited? This happy?

We can thank that beautiful powerhouse standing in front of him. All he wants to do now is go out and celebrate with his girl. Which is massive growth btw. He’s not one to be excited outwardly about promotions or awards. But this is post-in love with Lucy Tim Bradford. He is bouncing off the walls he’s so excited. He gets to have his cake and eat it too. See his person every day and have a new exciting position. Love this first thought being he wants to celebrate with her. This man has changed and grown so much. It's glorious to behold. Truly.

Lucy wants to go out and celebrate with him so badly. If it was up to her they would leave that station right now and do that. Sadly her favor still needs to be cashed in…I love his little puppy face when she says she can't. He wasn't expecting to be spending tonight without her and it shows. All over his handsome face. You can see it's killing her to say no to him right now. But sadly Smitty and his favor can not wait. Even if she doesn't know what the hell it is yet LOL

I adore him immediately asking if she needs any help? I love this man so very much. Such a soft puppy for her. Only ever see him like this with her. He is thinking they may going out but least he can be with and help her with whatever this favor is. Ever the sweet supportive boyfriend and I love it sfm. Man really would do whatever for that woman in front of him. They could watch paint dry and Tim would be in cause he would be with her. Lucy tells him it’s something she has to do solo.

Lucy follows up she wants to celebrate him tomorrow. I love her saying celebrate 'You.' Not his job but to celebrate YOU. Look at this man above as she says this. He is legit basking in her praise, excitement, and love right now. What I really love is as she continues to congratulate him he leans closer to her. Looks like he wants to kiss her. Once again forgetting they’re in the bullpen. Their magnetic pull activating in the final moments of this scene.

Lucy saying her line above with so much love and affection. Her words having an effect on him. It shows in this next mini moment. We can see him grab her hands and pull her towards him gently in that second gif. The amount of squeeing I'm doing. Tim friggin Bradford grabbing for her girl. Pulling her closer at work out of instinct. In the bullpen of all places. Not caring they are in public. He is high off her excitement and this new job. Looks like he just wants to kiss her in this moment. Pick her up and spin her around he’s so happy.

She has to break the spell sadly. Remembering they are at work and she has to go do her favor.. but not before telling him 'Good job!' Look at this man's face as she departs. That’s a ‘I’m going to marry that woman someday.’ face. He is glowing with love and it makes me so happy to see him loved right. He is a different man since they got together. He is exuding so much love for her and pure joy. Just looking and being happier in general since 5x10.

Gah Eric killing me softly good sir. Happiness looks SOOO good on you my love. He’s earned every ounce of what he’s getting from Lucy. Just love this character so much. To finally see him be treated right getting me all in my feels. Best girlfriend ever and he has no idea what’s she done for him. She didn’t want credit. She just wanted him to be happy at work. Once again putting that beautiful man first.

I saw someone posted watching this scene was like ship crack cocaine lmao it’s so accurate I can’t haha. I’m getting high off their happiness in this scene. Tim is bouncing off the walls and Lucy is absorbing it all. The only payment she needed was knowing he was happy. Ugh they’re so cute I love it sfm. I’m so gone for these two. I haven’t loved a ship like this in a long time. I knew when I started this show they were going to be something special. Proven me right so many times over. This season truly is a gift.

We see what the favor is. Smitty wants her to deep clean his RV. Says he hasn’t in years. Telling Lucy since the Bush administration. Lucy’s eyes bulge out. Asking 'Which Bush?' LMFAO. She finds out she’s doing it solo. We then get this great shot of her in a hazmat suit. Chemicals and cleaning supplies at the ready. Knowing it won’t be great. Her ‘Oh dear god.’ Hahaha things we do for the ones we love. Her cleaning his nasty as RV so her man could be happy ❤️❤️

~~~~

Side notes-non Chenford

I love the Cold Open for this one. Daddy Cop is hilarious. If this didn’t get stuck in your head you're lying lmao

I loved Tim helping Celina out with her mom. Also what is about this man saying Spanish words with that inflection that gets me every time? Ovary explosion for me. When her says Celina’s mom’s birds names. Lorca and Neruda does it with inflection and I’m a damn puddle.

Also her asking if she single LMFAO He very is not Mrs. Juarez haha Also the way he says Juarez does thing to me lmao I have no shame in how i feel haha

[buckyarchives]

Metal Arms and Short Skirts [Drabble]

summary: you and bucky run into a small bump when he brings up kids.

word count: 6k

author note: i, personally, have a strong hatred towards the “girlboss has tradwife ephihany after meeting a man” trope so here is me doing the complete opposite

second (sober) note: i wrote, edited and posted this stoned as fuck so tell me if you like this more than usual fics so i can make a note to write high more often

read on AO3 | masterlist

It was a well-known fact after two years into the relationship that you and Bucky were the ‘it’ couple, both inside the compound and outside. Especially due to the rise in the avenger’s popularity, your hobby of walking red carpets and mingling with the rich and famous (you’ve even been over at the Kardashian for dinner once — yes, Sam was beyond upset he didn’t get an invite) helped with that fact too. Many times have you brought Bucky along as your plus one, so much so that he started getting invited and being plastered on magazine covers and Twitter feeds.

So when the news - no, rumors of a breakup came out? Dear god, Nick Fury would have thought the world was ending. 

no one was sure what happened, and no one saw it coming either. you guys had been absolutely thriving since announcing it officially. Steve saw a complete difference in Bucky’s demeanor, he still wasn’t the old Bucky — but a new, healthy, and not despair ridden. He was happy. and maybe Tony wasn’t happy about it in the beginning, considering he saw himself as a sudo-father figure. He couldn’t deny you seemed happier with life, your work sure shows it. 

Natasha noticed it first when Bucky's shoulders sagged more and he was spending more nights in the compound instead of your apartment. as well as the continuous night eating and sleeping in. Then, Wanda, she gossiped a lot. about good and bad, so when you skillfully began to avoid the man in every conversation. she began to realize something was wrong.

Soon everyone noticed it. because once Bucky's depression turned to blind hatred and his sparring partners (Sam) were getting beaten a little too hard. snide comments were being made and he just became a genuinely unpleasant person to be around. Sam and Steve more than jumped to find out what the hell happened.

Wanda and Sam stood before the stove, flipping pancakes and eggs. The morning hue showed on everyone’s face and hair. Natasha's red hair looks wild in her messy bun, if you can even call it that. She sat next to Steve, trying not to publicly flirt since their relationship started to flourish. mostly not to miss Bucky off too. 

and Bucky sat hunched over like an old and angry man, shoveling bacon into his mouth with the seemingly permanent scowl he’s worn for the past few weeks.

they had a loosely put-together plan to figure it out, but Wanda couldn’t help but slip up out of frustration, she missed the days when you sleep over and join them on their team breakfasts. “what happened to breakfast at y/n?”

Bucky visibly flinched at your name, his breath hitching in his throat and almost choking on his bacon. they had danced around the subject of you once figuring out the obvious separation, your appearance at the compound got less and less to the point someone would think you got transferred somewhere else. 

Sam sent a surprised glance towards Wanda, whilst all other eyes were on Bucky as he gaped his mouth open and tried to find a response. Steve was practically on the edge of his seat after not getting a word of you from Bucky for weeks.

clearing his throat, and gulping down both water and his nerves. “we’re not on good terms right now.”

“Well, if that wasn’t obvious” Natasha murmured under her breath, focused on her food. Bucky sent a glare out of the corner of his eyes. rolling his eyes, he threw the now empty plate into the sink. not wanting to be bothered by the looks of the other, he headed for the door.

“ah! not so fast, tin man. we have some serious stuff to talk about.'' Tony popped up from literally nowhere and stood before the exit, blocking Bucky from leaving the kitchen and to his room or the gym.

“move, Stark. I'm going on a run.” Bucky said - a lie - he was most likely wallowing in self-desperation in his room.

“Wake up on the wrong side of the bed, honey?” Tony snarked.

Bucky went to shove his way around him, but then Tony stepped to the side and suddenly the common room was on lock down and the door slammed shut in front of his face.

“no one is leaving this room until I figure out what happened to you and y/n, and fix it,'' Tony said, taking a seat with an annoyed and almost angry face. Bucky’s jaw clenched as he stood awkwardly, half of the avenger's eyes on him, staring at his feet. “because my best worker is lacking in worK and most important — trying to leave the company.``

“What?” the brunette's head pops up, as well as everyone else’s in the room. a matching concerned face was shared through the avengers, wilder on Buckys.

“she won’t tell me why, but I can only assume it has something to do with you so don’t mess up my life anymore and tell me why.'' Tony lectured, the usual blind and comedic annoyance turned to actual anger towards Bucky as he explained. Then everyone soon realized you weren’t just distancing yourself from Bucky, but everyone and it hurt Tony - someone who (despite popular opinion) actively tried to keep the family together at all cost. because he was losing one of his longest friends now.

“He's right, man. we’ve all noticed how this thing has affected you.” Sam spoke up, much more concerned than tony.

Bucky noticed all the eyes on him, stripping him down and making him feel seen and vulnerable. he felt small. Bucky huffed disappointingly as he shuffled to the small couch in the common room. falling dramatically on it as he clenched his jaw, “y/n and I have come to some… disagreements about…” Bucky's words were slow and shaky, trying to figure out how to describe what happened. “our future together so we’ve decided to see other people.”

glances were shared of confusion and concern, and Bucky’s gaze stayed glued to the air. He really, really did not want to talk about this. it sends a cold and painful chill down him that aches.

“what the fuck is that supposed to mean?” Tony shouted, still frustrated and mentally done with Bucky’s grief spared attitude. He just wanted you back at work and happy again or he’ll try choking out a supersoldier today.

“It means she broke up with me, okay?” Bucky choked out, not wanting to dwell on you anymore. 

“But why?”

Bucky groaned, “because we had a disagreement!”

“About what?” Tony shouts back, growing more and more frustrated as Bucky dodges the real question.

Bucky shot up, beginning to grow frustrated as well. He yelled, “I can't tell you if you're going to yell and look at me like a caged animal!”

“Okay, boys. Tony chill, Bucky - sit and just explain to me what happened." Natasha shot up and nudged herself in between the two, breaking up whatever brawl was going to happen.

Bucky was so drained mentally and depressed that he just plopped down and sat next to Natasha, Natasha gave bucky such a warm comfort he didn’t fight against it, he felt safe enough to talk about this with her (and maybe more if Sam, Steve or Wanda didn’t continue to stare down his neck as Bucky mustered up any words)

“I brought up our future… kids and marriage.” bucky started, “and we disagreed on a few things, and it sparked an argument. We both said some very hurtful things and we decided to end it, or at least a break.”

“Like officially breaking up?” Natasha asked.

Bucky wore the pain he felt on his face, he just missed you and felt speaking it out loud would give it a mouth, and then he really would never see you again. “I don’t know, maybe? We were too busy yelling at each other to figure that out.”

“Okay, “ Natasha breathed out, Sam and Wanda were quick to join the impromptu therapy session. Bucky was glad it was them rather than someone like Tony or Thor. The one time Thor gave Bucky relationship advice it was along the lines of having an orgy because “it builds trust and passion.” or something along the lines of that.

“Have you talked to her since?” Wanda asked, approaching the topic gently as he sat across bucky with soft and understanding eyes. Realizing he should have brought this up sooner with the group rather than his therapist, the girls came to him with a much more understanding and comforting approach.

Bucky shook his head shamefully, “the morning after the argument, she said she wanted space and to possibly seek out other people. Told me to explore other options.”

Everyone shared confused looks, either bucky was lying through his teeth or something really weird had gotten into you. None of this sounded like you, “what type of disagreement did you two have for her to come to that?'' Sam perked up.

“Um, well.” Bucky's head fell down as he fidgeted with a loose string on his shirt. “I brought up having kids, and other things like marriage and moving in together, but mostly kids. She didn't want it and I don't even know how the argument started but we were both really frustrated and tired and it did. By the end of it it seemed she practically gave up on us because our idea about the future looked different and now- now, I don't know how to fix it.”

Bucky's voice croaked a little toward the end, showing how absolutely hung up he was on the possibility of losing you. Since the gala he's known that you were it for him, the one secure thing he could come back to at the end of the day and you were stripped away from him so abruptly. 

It didn't help that fact Bucky was very adamant about having a family, since he technically doesn't have one anymore. Not blood anyways, so eventually retiring and starting a family was one of the most important things to him now that he was free.

“She did always says she wasn't going to have kids,” Tony mumbled under his breath, but Bucky heard it and it definitely did not help his mental state.

“Anyways, by the end of it - we both said very hurtful things and I don't think she wants to speak to me right now.” Bucky sighed.

“Did you apologize?

“She hasn't given me a chance to yet,” Bucky admitted, he tried to – not very well. But you've done more than enough to avoid it, it hit bucky in the chest like a spear. So far you were trying to transfer to San Diego and work for Pym. And everyone knew Hank would be more than pleased with the idea of that, so yes - it scared Bucky to death that he was slowly losing you.

Everyone sat silent for a moment, unsure of where to go from here as it seemed Bucky had hit a brick wall with you. Everyone knows how stubborn you can be.

“You are all a bunch of idiots.”

A low and raspy voice snarked from the doorway, and a blonde archer stood with a less than disappointed look as he leaned against the wall.

“How’d you get in here?” Tony perked up. 

Clint decided to ignore the questions, “you’re asking advice from a bunch of single people, a girl who's dating a literal toaster, and don't get me started on Pep and Tony's dynamic. I am the one happily married person with kids on this team.” 

Everyone was left dumbfounded as Clint continued his speech, striding in front of the slouched and sorrow-filled Bucky Barnes, leaning down with his hand on his knees to meet Bucky's face. 

“Do you love her?”

“Yes.” bucky quipped like it was second nature.

“Like, really, really love her. Like take a bullet for her or have to snake the drain every 2 weeks love her.”

Odd questions but Bucky already was snaking the drain frequently for you, for a doctor-engineer you were weirdly squeamish. And Bucky knew he'd step in front of a bullet for you with absolutely no thought, and that didn’t even scare him, as long as you were safe. 

“Yes.”

“Okay.” Clint's voice rose and fell stern, almost in a lecture-type voice he'd only heard from a mother. “Snap out of it, get off your ass, buy her flowers or something, and go get her. Because you are losing her every second you don't.”

“But I don't know how to fix it.'' Bucky realized he was starting to sound whiny and desperate now, but he felt it inside too. He was a complete mess, and Clint was going to shake it out of him one way or another.

“God, you really need help. How have you survived these two years.” Clint mutters, “you compromise! That's like 60% of keeping a long-term relationship. Communicate and compromise, if you love her that much you will do that.”

Bucky felt stupid now, but maybe he would have tried that out earlier if he had the chance. “But she's made it very clear she doesn't want to talk to me.”

“Doesn't matter, she's had three weeks of space and I'm sure the one thing she's waiting for is for you to seek her out.” Clint explains simply like he's gone through the situation before. “I don't care if she’s already found a new place in California, go to her and beg for forgiveness for whatever hurtful things you said and just. Talk.”

Bucky carded a hand through his brunette locks, his hair was getting grease from simply being too depressed to shower and letting his emotions out on the poor punching bag in the gym. He nodded slowly, hyping himself up in his head to do exactly what Clint was explaining. 

“Okay, I'll find her and talk.” was all bucky could say, he still had a lot of thinking to do.

“And shower first, please. You smell like a dog.”

Bucky just nodded. 

/

Three weeks ago.

Maybe it wasn’t the best idea to bring this up now, Bucky had just gotten back from a 2-week-long mission, and being stuck with a fake identity with Sam in Tokyo had made him beyond frustrated but equally happy to come home to you. Bucky didn't know it then, but you'd been working yourself to the wit's end after the new discovery of nanotech between you and tony. Many nights were spent up late and awake early, since Bucky wasn't there to drag you to bed and away from the lab.

But, It's been on Bucky's mind for a moment now, on the tip of his tongue every time he got a moment alone with you. And now as he sat across from you, the kitchen light shining down on you as you went through the new research on nanotech. Your eyebrows furrowed as you concentrated on the words, gently tugging at your bottom lip. Bucky let himself watch you for a moment before bringing up the topic that's hovered over him for the past couple of months.

“Baby?” he stared, your head perking up towards him.

“Hm?” you hummed, closing the file to put your full attention on bucky.

He fidgeted with his thumbs nervously under the table, licking his lips before starting. “We’ve been together for a while and I was just wondering about something…”

You instantly put on a defensive face, many assumptions swirled in your head about what he could be alluding to. Many things but all you knew is that it was going to be a hard conversation to have. “Yeah?”

“I was thinking about trying for kids, you know? If that's something your able to do…” Bucky spoke slowly and cautiously, this was the first time he’d seriously brought this up. Only a few jokes were shared about kids' names and how you'd raise your children, always lighthearted and mostly unserious.

You gulped, unsure of how to exactly approach this topic with bucky. You knew his stance on family and how important that was to him, “yeah, I can get pregnant. but, I'm not too sure about kids, buck.”

“Why not?” Bucky asked innocently, he didn't mean to sound pushy even if it may have translated like that towards you.

“I- I don't know, I just don't think that'd be good for us right now.” 

Bucky tried to bite his tongue, but that had never worked in the past, especially not now. “I think it'd be nice, you don’t want a mini us running around?”

In truth, you were beyond tired, you had been barely keeping your eyes open as you read. Your hazy mind was caught off guard by such a question, especially after work has been so hectic for each of you. Bucky was either away on a mission, or you'd be in the lab or flying out for research and meetings. Barely anytime for each other right now and suddenly, Bucky asking to start a family now?

Frustrated, you sighed. “I didn't say that - I know how important family and kids are to you but I just don't know if I can do that.”

“You don't have to agree because I want to, it's your body – you do what you want.” bucky shot back, growing equally frustrated, he started to regret the timing of this conversation but he opened the pandora's box and he wasn't sure how to close it now. “It was just a suggestion.”

The attitude and words left your mouth before you could even understand how harsh it was, but you were working with half a brain right now. “Well, it kinda feels like you're pressuring me into this, Bucky.” you huffed, abruptly getting up from your seat to put the files away. You'd had enough reading for the night.

“I'm not!” bucky quipped, almost instinctively following you around the apartment. “I just think we’ve been together long enough to seriously talk about our future.”

A headache began to grow and you just wanted to go to bed. “Well, I'm sorry but I can't give you the answers you're looking for, bucky.”

“I just wanted to at least talk about it together.'' Bucky pleaded, he was trying – at least. Yes, he was frustrated and equally tired but somewhere in his head was telling him to stop and finish this later, but maybe the desire of starting a family was too strong. 

He realized soon after he got his mind back that most of his bloodline was killed off by either the war or simply just died off by old age. He remembered the night he looked for nieces and nephews, hoping Becca got married and lived a good life. Only to find nothing and then truly realize he was alone at this time, Steve and you – sure. Maybe he was getting greedy but he wanted someone he could call real family.

But now he realized he shouldn't have pushed.

You threw your hand up, almost angry now as you shouted back. “I’m sorry, but I’m not 100 fucking years old and looking to reproduce right now!”

Bucky's face dropped, “really? You have to bring that shit into it.”

“Yes, because I have other things to be focusing on right now,” you yelled back.

“Like what?” Bucky argued back.

“My job!” you shouted like it was completely obvious, which it sort of was, and that made you even more angry that bucky couldn't see that.

“y/n, your net worth is nearing eight fucking figures! It's not like you're going to starve anytime soon!” Maybe Bucky was bitter, for many reasons. Growing up poor, and the feeling that sometimes you pay more attention to your work than bucky. “What about us?”

You stood back, mouth gaped and utterly taken off guard by bucky. Narrowing your eyes at him, “really? I cannot believe you actually said that.”

“I'm serious. I feel like I've been left in the dark recently and just want to know the endgame with us.” 

“Okay,” you snarked, “we finish this conversation and you figure out I can't give you what you want? What happened then?”

“I don't know but-”

You quickly cut him off, bitterness dripped from your words and your head grew hot from anger. “You find out I can’t give you kids, or marriage or I don’t turn into a 1940s fucking trad wife you expect out of me. What then? You gonna go find someone else?”

“I don't expect any of that out of you! And I don't want anyone else but you.” Bucky shouted, his hands shaking with nerves and anger at your jabs at him. Never expect you to bring up his more than unfortunate past. “Do you want that?”

“At this point, maybe! Because what's the purpose if I can't give you a life you're happy with?” you choked out and the fear that washed over Bucky was unreal, if what you're alluding to is true. 

Bucky's face scrunched up in anger, and confusion and his heart pounded in his chest and threatened to break. “Really? Are you really saying we need to end this?”

“I'm not going to continue a relationship if either one of us is unhappy, no amount of love can fix that crack, bucky.”

Bucky's breath hitched and he can only assume that his heart has broken now. He's been a hopeless romantic since his first crush in elementary. So the words coming from you hit him like a train - and he is not a fan of trains – and caused tears to threaten to spill as he bit back any further hurtful words. 

But the damn was broken and both tears and his words came out with no stopping, he scoffed. “It's great to know how much faith you have in us.” sarcasm and anger dripped from his words and equally hit each other like a knife. 

“Bucky–”

“No,” he croaked out, hurt and defeated by this argument. “I can't do this right now, I'm sleeping on the couch and we can talk about this tomorrow.”

Bucky didn't want to end it like this, you've had arguments before but never like this. Always fixing it before you could leave the room, never leaving words unsaid or arguments hanging unresolved. You two have never gone to bed angry with each other or worse – separated. 

And you let him snatch his pillow from your bed and leave the room, despite the urge to pipe up and ask to stay. But you were stubborn and held grudges, it was a well-known fact and one bucky had too. Which was the last way each of you needed to be acting right now.

Because as each of you woke, the tension in the air was thick and hurt like a fire. Bucky stayed in the kitchen making food for both of you and kicking himself as he heard you successfully avoid him for half of the morning by taking your sweet time getting ready.

It hit bucky like a knife when you shamefully stared him down, arms crossed and jaw clenched. Telling him that this was it and to see other people, he choked on the swarming thoughts and just held his tongue and nodded. Frozen in fear of actually losing you, unable to stop you from walking out the door and going to work.

You had the final word and Bucky cursed to himself as he left the apartment for what he thought would be the last time.

/

“I don't know. Hope.” you sighed, balancing the phone between your shoulder and ear. “I said some mean stuff, and buck wants a kid but I just can't do that right now.”

“I know, but are you really going to separate because of it? Not to be mean, but that seems pretty dramatic.” hope scoffed, slightly distorted as she spoke from the other line.

“He deserves a good and happy life though, after everything he's gone through. If kids and marriage and the white picket fence thing are what he needs, I just can't give him that.” you sighed, “I tried to go on a date with an old classmate, and he tried to kiss me. I felt like I was cheating somehow. I just kept thinking about Bucky.”

“Isn't that like a perfect sign to talk to him?”

“Maybe.” you sighed.

The past few weeks have been a little less than torture, bearable if you threw yourself into work but that also meant going to the compound where you would most definitely run into bucky. This is the last thing you need if you were trying to move on for him, it's for the better – you'd tell yourself at night when you were close to just calling him because you miss falling asleep in his arms. 

Work and money have been the top priority in your life since you got your first job working at a car garage at 15. It wasn't stopped anytime soon and the way bucky spoke made you feel as if he expected you to stop that for him. Which sounds selfish, yeah – but you knew how men thought back in the 40s and you were the farthest thing from that. Your mistake for thinking bucky would understand.

“Well, you know my dads been trying to steal you from Stark for years now so if you need that much space you have a job over here.” Hope offered, referring to moving to San Diego. You lived near the area for a while after college, you didn't like the hot weather and slowness of the city but stayed for work. It would be a sure way to stay away from Bucky and maybe get over him, but that commitment and sureness of it being all over scare you.

“Maybe, I'll think about it.” you rubbed your hand on your neck to soothe your anxiety and nerves, the thought of bucky recently had done nothing besides spring tears in your eyes.

Ding!

The doorbell rings through the apartment and snaps you out of your self-wallowing thoughts. “Hey, hope. I'll call you back.”

“Sure, y/n. Just send me a text if you want the position here, it's open to you anytime you want it.” Hope reassures. 

“Mkay, bye.” you bid your goodbyes and quickly hung up, taking a deep breath as you set your phone down on your bed. Your feed padded as you went for your front door, and whoever was waiting patiently behind it. You hoped it was your new self-indulgent purchase from Prada.

You experience something short of whiplash when you swung open the door, your mouth gapes and you swear you stopped breathing. Definitely not Prada.

Bucky had somewhat planned this appearance, with the help of Clint. He shaved a little, but not full because he knew you liked him with stubbled. His long hair was tucked behind his ears neatly and he wore that one blue sweater you bought him, your favorite. Bucky held your favorite flowers in one hand, a bouquet the size of your head by two. And in the other, if your nose was correct, your favorite food.

Oh, he's good, too good. 

You both stood awkwardly in front of each other, Bucky had to restrain himself from either bursting into tears or dropping everything to hug you as if his life depended on it. 

“Can we talk?” is what he settled on.

You nibbled on your bottom lip nervously, going over your options quickly. But everything in you was telling you to bring him in and never let go, despite how much it hurt. “Using my favorite food against me is cold, sarge.”

Bucky's heart ached and leaped at the nickname, being deprived of your sweet words for weeks did something to him. With a cheeky grin, he held up the pack. “Spicy Thai soup with shrimp. Just for you.”

It was way too hard to be mad at him when he was so attentive and so good-looking.

“Come in.” you sighed and moved out of the way to let him in. 

hesitantly, keeping you at arm's length as he walked in and set the food and flowers on the island. You watched him intensely, he kept his gaze away and bit his cheek. You settled down on a bar stool and watched as he found an empty vase in the pantry.

 With no words shared Bucky cut the ends and put the flowers in a vase of water to be displayed. A routine he knew by heart, getting flowers every week or so was normal and you didn’t realize how much you missed it until now.

You gritted your teeth, shame swelled in your stomach for pushing him away so aggressively, someone who loved so fiercely. You felt like you were going to hurl when his gaze met yours, he looked so sad. 

Looking down at the counter, not moving an itch. “I'm sorry for using the fact you're 100 years old against you.”

The phrase was so comedic and stupid that Bucky couldn't help but stifle a small laugh, it worked in his favor when he saw you bite back a small grin. How could he stay away this long? 

“I think it's actually 102 or 103, I lost count after 90,” he mentions, but you looked at him and his face fell seriously. “And I'm sorry for pressuring you to have kids, that wasn't my intention.”

You nodded, “I'll have kids with you, I want to. Just not right now.”

Bucksy face lit up and nothing could stop you from swooning over him now, biting back a grin as he spoke. “Really? I'm serious, you don't have to go through that just to please me.”

“I want to, I really do,” you reassured, taking deep breaths. “There's just so much going on right now and I panicked because it felt like you were asking that of me now, and I'm sorry for working so much and pushing you–”

Bucky sprung up with a more than sympathetic face and he cut you off by holding your jaw in his hands. You forgot how warm and welcoming his embrace was, you almost collapsed into him there. “Hey, don't apologize for being the badass, genius, hard-working woman you are.” he spoke with an adoring grin, “I shouldn't have put that against you.”

“No but you’re right, I've been putting Stark industries and my projects before you and I shouldn't be doing that.” you leaned farther into his touch. Chasing his comfort, bucky just smiled down at you because he missed this too much, being starved of you is high on his list of torture tactics. “And you are right about needing to talk about our future, it's just that…”

You trailed off, avoiding bucky’s eye contact again and nipping at your bottom lips from nerves. Bucky was quick to run a thumb across your lips to stop you and get your attention once more. His voice was unbelievably gentle and soft, “What is it? Come on, let's talk.”

“I know I don't talk about my family but my mom was a lot like me, you know? Workaholic, always trying to rack up the digits on her paycheck, lavish and indulgent lifestyle,” you explained and bucky was so attentive to your words - it took everything to not kiss him right there. You exhaled a shaky breath, “but then she met my dad and had me and she kinda stopped all of that. Stayed at home and got a small part-time job, letting my dad bring in all the money and there's nothing wrong with that! I could just tell she was miserable like that but kept at it because it was what my dad wanted.”

“Oh.” Bucky sighed, urging you to continue.

“And I think I took your words the wrong way that night and got scared of ending up like her, I know you wouldn't do that but I panicked and pushed you away because of it.” you finished and let your eyes travel to your lap, but bucky was having none of it as he urged you to look him in the eye. 

“Hey, I forgive you and I'm sorry for scaring you like that, but it's important to me that you know I wouldn't force that lifestyle on you.” bucky smiled, a tease to the end of his next words. “If anything, I'm trying to be a stay-at-home dad and live off your paycheck.”

You couldn't help but laugh at his statement, a smile growing from ear to ear. All the past emotions rushed out of you as a few happy-sad tears sprung to your eyes, chasing his embrace when you pulled him close and hid in the crook of his neck. Oh, how you missed his smell, “I love you, James.”

Bucky handheld your back as he pulled you even closer, he felt warmer than ever and smiled to himself. “I love you too.”

You stayed tucked in Bucky's arms for a while, you missed him too much to pull away right away. Bucky’s hand caressed your back as he soaked up your touch. Mumbling into his shoulder, “let's try not to fight over something stupid again and actually talk.”

“Agreed.” bucky nodded to himself, slowly pulling you back to peck your cheek. A mischievous grin fell on his lips that made you quirk an eyebrow.

“What is it?”

Bucky pursed his lips, “so no babies right now, correct?”

“Correct.”

“Okay,” he hummed, his hands falling to your waist and pulling you against him. “Then let's just practice for when we want to, yeah?”

“Bucky!”

/

Bucky's phone began to ring annoyingly from beside him, somewhere hidden in the couch cracks. Gently reaching over to grab it, not moving too much so he doesn't wake the sleeping beauty on his lap. 

After catching up on about 3 weeks of sex, a few rounds on the kitchen counter, and a few more on the couch. You both ended up half-naked and heating up the now-cold Thai food. Bucky was surprised it didn’t get knocked to the ground when he quite literally bend you over and fucked you hard on the counters. You both settled warmingly onto the couch and begged Bucky to watch Pixar movies, and of course, he couldn't say no. 

It was dark now and empty containers of food littered around the coffee table, getting fucked good and hot food sure can wear a girl out as you fell asleep on Bucky. probably the best sleep you've gotten since the fight. 

Steve was calling, definitely to check up on the talks. Bucky glanced back down at you before pressing accept, still sound asleep and slightly snoring. Bucky put the phone to his ear.

“So, how'd it go?” Steve asked.

Bucky wore a warm smile when he replied, gaze not leaving you. “Good, really good. We talked it out and it mostly boiled down to miscommunication.” 

“Just talked or?” Steve teased, something bucky wondered if the blonde could read his mind.

“Oh, zip it,” Bucky said, a chuckle coming from the other line. “I don't want to wake her, so I'll call you tomorrow?”

“Alright, don't get yourself into any more trouble.” 

“Don't plan on it, pal.'' Bucky bid his goodbyes to Steve and hung the phone up, throwing it to the side.

Bucky knew he had to wake you and get you into bed, clean up the apartment, and slip under the covers close to you. But for now, he was just enjoying the safety he felt with you in his arms, and not alone in the compound with you in California. It was more than true that you were it for him, and after getting a taste of what it was like to lose you. 

Well, he'd be damned if anything got in between you two now.

tags; @matchat3a @sebsgirl71479 @heavenswrld @ivywasmaroon

@nt-multi-fandom @michaelfuckinglangdon@fand0mskullfa1ry

@athenabarnes @almosttoopizza @genlovesdcb @mavrellover91

[dani-ya-dig]

Ok now that I’m fully awake. It’s time try and organize my thoughts on that audio oh my god.

Also trigger warning for mentions of suicide under the cut

That’s actually the first thing I wanna talk about, and is the only gripe I have with the entire video. Why the fuck wasn’t mentions of suicide tagged in the description??

Like I understand the concept wasn’t dwelled on and Sam didn’t outright say “I’m gonna fucking kill myself” but he PRETTY EXPLICITLY talked about how he planned to commit suicide even if he didn’t say those words. idk “chosen morality” doesn’t seem like the right warning for that? I’m not gonna complain abt it like too much, I just was a little confused on why it wasn’t tagged.

But anyways onto my jumbled up thoughts about the actual audio! Because as a member of the Sam Collins fandom, I have thoughttsssssss!!

THIS AUDIO MADE ME SOB! I couldn’t sleep because of how sad I was over it. Sam and Darlin need to be happy just for fucking ONCE, god give them a BREAKKKKKK.

The idea of them just silently holding each other on their roof with the night sky above them, a few tears probably falling from both of them. IM DUHXSJDIJFDJFHFHJ

AND MOTHERFUCKER THE VIDEO ENDING ON “Brown. My eyes were brown” I FELL TO THE FLOOR SHUT THE FUCK UP!

On a happier note about that, I KNEW Sam’s eyes were brown. I feel like almost everyone did tbh. I’ll tell you what gave it away though, the gentle way he says “please” to Darlin in some of his audios. Automatically gave it away that he would have had the biggest brown puppy dog eyes you have ever seen in your life. I’m physically sick over it, it’s not even funny.

Now back to the thing I desperately don’t wanna think about. Sam telling Darlin that he wasn’t planning on living forever.

That’s where the dam broke for me, I started bawling. It totally makes sense, I get it and I can’t say that it’s not a choice that makes sense given that Sam never wanted to be a vampire in the first place.

Do y’all think that he was planning to watch the sunrise on his roof? Because that was my first thought and it hurt real bad. Sam finally getting to feel the sunlight after so many years of having been deprived of it, only to be ash when the sun was fully in the sky.

Also I know damn well he probably would have done it after Darlin died and that’s what hurts so bad. If Darlin chose to be a vampire I think he would happily spend however long their eternity would be by their side, but once they were gone he probably wouldn’t feel a reason to stay. Especially because if Darlin turned into a vampire the two of them probably would have completely pulled away from all mortals before that would happen.

On that note, I don’t think Darlin is gonna want to be turned. I never really thought they would, unless they were under very specific circumstances. Sam telling them to spend time in their wolf form and with their pack before deciding solidified that for me 100%. I don’t think they would be able to lose their wolf which we know is a pretty big part of shifters, talking from Milo’s audio where he breaks down worried he was never going to be able to shift again. I don’t think they would be okay with the idea of watching their friends, and their family all start to wither away and eventually die while they remain.

Now, do I think Darlin is going to want to be turned? No. Do I think the dynamic of Darlin choosing to remain mortal opens a lot of really good angst possibilities? Yes. Do I fully trust Erik to not turn them anyways? Not really no.

If I had to put a bet in for how it would happen if Darlin got turned, it would be by Quinn. Quinn would find out or catch wind of the fact that they chose not to be turned (if he didn’t already know they would chose that) and turn them anyways just to hurt them.

(I think Alexis turning them is an interesting idea to think about, from any angle but I highly doubt that’s gonna happen lmao)

All in all I genuinely think that was the only audio that has affected me that much (aside from maybe listening to the inversion for the first time??)