#I fucking hate you !!! leave my life forever and never fucking come back please !!! I hate you!!!

[m-a-d-e-l-e-i-n-e]

If you have anger issues you can’t control, especially if you’re a parent or just live with others, the best thing to do is just never do anything about them and just take it out on your loved ones when something goes even slightly wrong and break and slam shit constantly then get even more mad when people resent you because you rage at them and they have to walk on eggshells around you all the time. Oh and never say sorry because admitting you were wrong is weak, you should always just blame the other person /s

[ikeuverse]

you're my problem | lhs

pairing: heeseung x fem!reader  genres: angst, fluff, humor, suggestive wc: 11.6k+

꒰ 𝅄 warnings ꒱ : swearing, arguing, cheating, divorce, mention of drinking. slightly smut in that there is a section (albeit brief) describing almost – very almost – sex.

꒰ 𝅄 synopsis ꒱ : for some people, it was a problem working as a nanny because of the fatigue and effort it required. but you loved looking after hajun. the only problem was his older brother, heeseung.

꒰ 𝅄 notes ꒱ : idk what's going on, but heeseung's been on my mind a lot these days. 2nd plot in less than two weeks and he's the owner of everything! at first this was going to have a smut, but i felt it would be too long and idk if it turned out that well, so maybe it could happen in a second part that isn't even final. but that's it for now, i hope you like it!

꒰ 𝅄 masterlist ꒱

"What's your problem?" that intonation was already typical when directed at you, but it still never failed to send a chill down your spine.

Sighing, you got up from the living room floor and smiled at the little boy in front of you, trying not to focus your gaze on the man next to the sofa.

"Can't you do your job properly for once?" he said to you again as he followed you into the downstairs bathroom, and you tried to ignore him as much as possible to put the first aid kit away in the drawer and leave the room. But he blocked the door.

"Can you come out, please? I want to go through" you asked, looking at him for the first time.

"I asked you what your fucking problem is" he leaned over and gritted his teeth, now he could cuss since he wasn't next to his younger brother.

"And I asked you to leave" you leaned in too, almost touching the tip of your nose to his chin because of the height difference. This caught the man completely off guard and he took a few steps back, clearing the way for you to leave the bathroom and walk into the living room.

It wasn't a horrible accident, you weren't a terrible babysitter for nine-year-old Hajun. But his older brother, Heeseung, had been a pain in the ass ever since you first set foot in the Lee house.

And it wasn't as if you'd done anything because Mrs. Lee always praised your work highly and you even did a few extra periods just to play with Hajun or stay with him when there were family problems. These, more often than not, were your suspicions as to why the Lee family had hired a nanny for their youngest, and also why Heeseung seemed so down on life. Especially with you.

It was typical for him to make some sarcastic comment, and roll his eyes when you excitedly answered something his mother had asked. Or even mutter a swear word when Hajun chooses to go out with you instead of his own brother. Jealous? Or that intensified the anger Heeseung felt even more, you just didn't want it to be directed completely at you. In your mind, Heeseung was already like that because of something that happened in the family – and you'd always been curious to ask, you just didn't have the courage – so, because you were the only person who was easy to get along with apart from his mother and younger brother, the boy only had you to put it all out there.

You weren't such a bad listener, you could call Heeseung to sit down after your babysitting shift and tell him everything that was bothering you. Why he was so angry and, most importantly, why did he seem to hate you? Your memory tried to capture a moment when you could have given him a curt reply, a grimace or simply been rude, but no.

As soon as you arrived and introduced yourself as Hajun's new nanny, Heeseung just rolled his eyes and left the room.

"Don't worry about him, Y/n" Mrs. Lee smiled lovingly at you "Heeseung is going through a difficult process, I think he'll get better soon. He's sweet."

You hoped he would be. And you waited for months to see that Heeseung was still the same... Maybe his process would take forever and you would have been chosen to be his punching bag. 

But one day it would get tiresome. Surely you knew that you would respond in full, even if you were afraid of losing your job because he might be able to get his mother's head around firing you. 

Back in the living room, you smiled at Hajun when you saw the little boy smile at you too. Your gaze completely ignored Heeseung sitting in the armchair next to his brother.

"Come on Y/n, I was telling Seungie how I fell in the park earlier" the little boy had no idea what had happened minutes ago between you and Heeseung, and you preferred it that way. Your priority was always to protect Hajun and be with him.

You sat down next to him, feeling Hajun's small hands wrap around yours.

"So I went to play ball with some boys, but Y/n told me not to go barefoot because it could be dangerous for me" Hajun formed a pout on his lips as he looked away from Heeseung to his bruised knee, now completely clean and bandaged "And I didn't listen" Hajun looked at you now, showing his newly grown teeth "Do you forgive me, Y/n?"

"Oh, of course" you hugged him as he laid his head on your shoulder.

Heeseung huffed from the other side of the sofa, running his hand through his hair impatiently.

"Anyway, do your job properly next time" he got up and left the room, leaving you with Hajun as he climbed the stairs with his feet tapping.

You felt the younger man move beside you, looking into your eyes while still smiling. Hajun was an amazing child and you felt your heart sink every time you thought that, if it wasn't for you, he might be alone in this house.

Not completely alone, Heeseung worked in his room a few days a week and Hajun could ask his brother for help with anything, as he was extremely protective of the youngest. But if it wasn't for you, the little one wouldn't do his homework. He couldn't go out to the park in the next block, let alone go to the movies in the late afternoon because he was too bored to do anything indoors.

Thanks to you, Hajun had company every day. And that was the thought you had when Mrs. Lee hired you to keep him company.

"Ignore him" Hajun's voice brought you out of your thoughts and back to the reality you were in at that very moment. The little boy was already standing in the middle of the room "Heeseung is a pain in the ass when he wants to be."

"Hey, watch your mouth, young man" you laughed when he grimaced.

"Seriously, after—" Hajun sighed, looking at you "Never mind."

"You know you can tell me whenever you want, right?" you stood up too, walking over to him to ruffle the younger man's dark hair.

Hajun nodded, smiling at you and asking you to make him a brownie. Because he deserved it and he was hurting. This made you laugh because, although the mood changed drastically in that house, you knew that he always tried to take everything in good humor. 

Hajun's slip in the previous few minutes only made you even more certain that something was going on, and your heart squeezed to see that he was aware of the problems within his own house even at his young age. So, more than ever, your determination to take care of him spoke louder. Because Hajun was your priority in that house. And that would always be the case.

With your head in your hands, you felt like screaming as you stared at the computer in front of you. Life as a university student was complete shit, even more so when you were forced to start a project and didn't even know where to begin.

Your two best friends were sitting right in front of you with their projects very well developed, but it was as if only your head was short-circuiting because nothing was good enough.

"You're going to tear your hair out soon" Jake leaned over the table to pull one of your hands away from your face, taking his attention away from his project.

"Can I rip my head off?" you almost cried as you looked at him, both of you looking away to Ryunjin sitting next to you.

"Why are you like this?" she asked.

"Is it because of the project?" Jake was already sitting properly in his seat, his eyes still on you and Ryunjin too. You nodded in agreement, swallowing dryly when the girl sighed.

"Or is it for someone else?" Ryunjin emphasized the question when she looked at you.

The table was now a little chaotic with Ryunjin peeking out with a smile on her lips, you trying to wiggle out of it and Jake looking between the two friends like a lost puppy.

"What the fuck is going on? Because I think I've lost something" the boy finally said.

"Heeseung, again" Ryunjin answered for you "He's still being an asshole to Y/n. Hasn't your little friend said anything worthwhile to let us know what happened?"

Jake opened and closed his mouth to answer but to no avail. He was a friend of Heeseung's, fortunately, or unfortunately, the boy went to the same university as you. Being Jake's friend, he once let slip that his mother was looking for someone to look after Hajun. And since you needed money... you could just combine the useful with the pleasant.

But your friend seemed to be as lost as you were, or at least he pretended very well. As one of Heeseung's best friends, it would be difficult for him to tell you if something was going on that could involve you. But he was also your best friend. This standoff with Jake could leave you confused and feeling bad on both sides, which is why you never pressured him to tell you anything.

"He's just having some problems" Jake tried to be vague on the subject.

"He's the problem, Jake" you closed your computer, giving up on working on a project you knew would come to nothing. Your head was full – unfortunately of annoyance about Heeseung – and nothing could make you concentrate on the moment "He was really rude to me last time, you know?"

He knew.

He listened to Heeseung swear for ten minutes about how you could let Hajun get hurt. Then he let his friend cool off and tried to argue that it wasn't your fault. Heeseung understood and even pondered whether he had been too hard on you.

"I... No, what did he do?" Jake nibbled his lower lip to suppress a sigh as he began to listen to everything he had to say.

From his perspective it wasn't your fault, Heeseung was too hard on you and anything you did. Sometimes Jake felt like telling you everything, telling you how many times he'd lost count by cursing Heeseung for his behavior. Or wanting to punch him just because his friend took out his frustrations on the wrong things.

"You need to talk to him to stop being like that with Y/n" Ryunjin caught Jake's eye, making him look at her "Or I'll shove some architectural material up his ass. Name one."

"A piece of concrete?" Jake frowned. He had no idea which materials were architectural, Heeseung did that course, not him. Jake was a computer scientist, just like Ryunjin.

She smiled with satisfaction at the answer and then looked at you.

"Now don't think about him and focus on your project, my love" Ryunjin reached out to touch your hand gently "I bet your designers are going to be amazing."

"We can't wait to see it" Jake also celebrated, taking your other hand and running his thumb over the back of it in affectionate contact.

Even with all the stuff going on in your life, the daily stress of dealing with the older brother of the little boy you were looking after, being in the presence of your friends seemed to cure everything and then some. Even though Jake was Heeseung's friend, that didn't change the way your friend treated you or how much he wanted to see you well. 

Ever since these disagreements between you and Heeseung started happening, Jake made it clear to both parties that he didn't want to be a part of it. Ryunjin even complained once that she would be part of it and still defend you, but no one listened – thankfully. 

After some time exchanging glances with your friends and smiling, you decided to focus on your project because, even if time was in your favor and the deadline was a month away, being prepared and ahead of schedule was your motto.

Taking advantage of a few vacant classes at college was perfect for going to a remote table on campus and working on whatever it was. These get-togethers with your friends were what got you out of stressful and bad times, even if you saw them on some weekends or in some classes. Just sitting there, chatting away regardless of the subject, made you feel a little better.

"Jake, dude, I finally found you" the voice took you away from your more peaceful thoughts and gratitude for your friends to focus forward. The boy whose name had been called stared after you with soft eyes, but as soon as he noticed your gaze on him, Jake's eyes widened slightly "Are you studying?"

Heeseung's voice was unmistakable to you. And at that moment you wanted to dig a hole and hide, or run out of there just so you wouldn't have the pleasure of bumping into the boy at his study table.

"Tidying up projects" Jake hissed, squeezing Ryunjin's leg under the table when he felt his friend move in her place. Her gaze was locked on Heeseung so angrily, yet the boy didn't notice, too distressed to find Jake.

"Can I join you here?" he asked "I need to finish some university homework and then we need to meet Jay for a game of basketball."

"Sure" Jake gave a small smile and beckoned Heeseung to sit down.

No. Not. Jake and Ryunjin were sitting next to each other, so the only vacant seat was right next to you.

Heeseung sat down without looking in their direction. He smiled at Ryunjin as a silent greeting, but she took it in her stride and ended up nodding at him politely after looking at you at the same moment Heeseung did.

The boy's eyes could come out of their orbs if it were possible, the way he opened them. Fidgeting uncomfortably on the bench next to you, he was in a bit of shock, even looking a little vulnerable given the circumstances that Heeseung always looked fierce when he was around you at his house.

"Y/n?" he asked, afraid that you were real.

"Hey" you said quietly.

He didn't know what to say, how could he forget that Jake was always with you on campus if you weren't with him? Why didn't Heeseung check out the people at that table before he sat down?

There were so many questions circling his mind that, as the boy saw you ignore him to open the computer and focus on your study, maybe he should do the same.

Focusing on his university homework while he waited for Jake to finish his project and then meet his other friends was what he had to do. All Heeseung had to do was answer a few questions that the teacher had given him in class and hope that his friend would finish as quickly as possible.

"Heeseung" Ryunjin called out after a while, her gaze flicking between him and you. You both looked very uncomfortable next to each other and it was so clear. Even more so after he arrived and didn't greet you properly, it wouldn't go unnoticed by your best friend.

"Hey, Ryunjin" he tried to smile amiably, almost feeling a shiver run down his spine when she leaned over the table, resting her elbows on the stone. She smiled strangely; he had seen it before when the girl was sarcastic or about to fight with someone. Was she going to fight with him?

"Is there concrete in your course building?" she asked.

Heeseung frowned in complete confusion. That question had no basis in fact, but at least she wasn't angry with him, so he could relax a little and not feel any more chills as the girl still stared at him.

"We have several, will you need them?"

"Yes" she said.

"Sure, but what for?" when Heeseung asked and Ryunjin was about to answer, you quickly closed your computer. Praying that everything was intact even with the small bang.

This startled the three at the table – even you – so you got up and grabbed your backpack.

"I remembered that I need to go with Ryunjin to the library, now" your emphasis was a complete answer to the fact that your friend would have to follow you. Jake was grateful that she obeyed, even if it was against her will, putting her things away as she picked up the backpack to leave.

"Why did she want concrete?" Heeseung looked at Jake after you and Ryunjin left, laughing quietly and focusing on the questions he needed to answer, missing his friend's gaze, which was a little shocked.

"I have no idea" Jake lied.

Or omitted, exactly. Heeseung didn't need to know the intentions of the girl who had ranted at him minutes before he arrived at the table.

Of all the things Heeseung wanted to put out of his mind, one was to know exactly where to find the person who had hurt him the most. Who broke up the perfect family he thought he had.

Heeseung wanted to be able not to remember the bar his father frequented, but here he was. Across the street watching the large glass windows, and inside the establishment, people were drinking and celebrating something.

He was drinking too. He was already on his third bottle and brought the glass up to his lips to finish off the bitter liquid which, at this point, no longer had any effect. Heeseung was focused on the male figure who was laughing and raising his glass of alcohol to talk to some other men. So this was how his father looked every Thursday night before going home. That's how Heeseung followed him one night, tired of seeing his father come home late only to catch him drinking in that damn bar, with a woman sitting on his lap who must have been Heeseung's age.

His father didn't see him he didn't want to cause a fuss and make his mother even more worried because, frankly, Heeseung was on the other side of town and late at night. But he couldn't hide it when he got home and told his mother. She was an amazing woman and didn't deserve the kind of thing that was happening right behind his back and that of the whole family.

Heeseung didn't know that he could feel as strongly repulsed by someone as he did by the man who, at that moment, staggered out of the bar with another woman hanging around his neck.

He felt nauseous, wanting to throw up the beers he had bought while his eyes stung and blurred. But the figure of the man on the other side who was dialing something on his cell phone was clear, waiting for the app car together with another woman. She was different from the woman Heeseung first caught him with, so his father was with a different one every time. That was even more disgusting.

"Let's go to my apartment, baby" he laughed out loud as soon as the car arrived, letting the woman get in first and him follow behind. Leaving Heeseung's sight as the car pulled away.

"Fucker" Heeseung kicked the glass bottle against the sidewalk to break it instantly.

The tears were already rolling freely down his face and he didn't care that he was crying, he'd held it in for so long since the last two days. He stayed in his room so that he could cry in peace without his mother or Hajun noticing. He didn't want to worry them because he was now the oldest male figure there. While his mother worked all the time at the company, Heeseung needed to be there for Hajun even if you were with him. 

His thoughts were soon interrupted by the sound of Heeseung's cell phone, startling him briefly as he picked it up to see who was calling. His mother. 

Involuntarily, a sad smile formed amidst the tears and he didn't think twice about answering the call.

"Hi son, where are you?" she asked on the other end of the line.

"I came for a walk" he struggled to keep his voice from sounding so sad and tearful, clearing his throat as he sniffled "Is everything all right? Do you need anything?"

"Everything's fine, don't worry" she laughed, making Heeseung laugh too. That laugh that he missed, knowing that it was slowly coming back "It's just that a great opportunity has arisen to close a deal with another partner in the company and I'm going to have to travel to the neighboring city for a week."

"And Hajun?" he asked.

"I've just spoken to Y/n, she's going to sleep at home" his mother just passed on the information, showing that the decision had already been made. And even if it wasn't, Heeseung couldn't do much since he knew that his younger brother needed the nanny's care. He couldn't be available to look after Hajun.

"All right" he said afterward, "I'm coming home."

"Okay, my son. Come back carefully, okay?" she seemed to be smiling as she spoke, which warmed Heeseung's heart "Be a good boy with the two of them at home, please."

"I will" he replied "Bye mom, I love you."

"I love you more, my boy" and saying that, she hung up.

Heeseung felt less bad about his mother's call, but he still couldn't forget the scene he had seen a few minutes ago. He knew that his mother was moving on and accepting the divorce as best she could, but Heeseung couldn't forgive the betrayal. The way his father had acted in the face of everything. He hadn't spoken to the man since he found out, choosing to ignore his calls and messages and telling his mother not to go to the university. Heeseung didn't want to see him. He'd rather pretend he'd never met or lived with a lying father than have to say anything to the man.

Maybe he needed to go home like he said he would. His head was already beginning to buzz with disparaging and angry thoughts, which he wanted to get rid of quickly. 

A hot bath and a video game were all Heeseung needed at the moment to feel cleansed of everything he had witnessed that day. Not that it had been much, but he hadn't come home from university. He hadn't arrived at the same time as Hajun from school so that he could have lunch with him. Heeseung wandered around every familiar corner until he stopped at an app car and went straight to that damn bar. Now it was time to get another app car and go home.

Heeseung felt angry with himself for letting anger take over every fiber of his body, while he could do the same as his mother. Or even Hajun, who was already asking less about the man daily. Perhaps the younger brother wouldn't even remember his father if he wasn't mentioned, and the elder wanted it that way. He wanted his brother not to have the proximity he had to see how disgusting and untruthful the man who once lived with them was.

"Thank you" Heeseung thanked the driver as soon as he pulled up in front of his house, getting out of the car and waving quickly.

He took slow steps to the front door to see that everything was dark, you had probably already put Hajun to bed and that would be a relief. The two of you would be asleep and you wouldn't see the deplorable state that Heeseung had arrived home in.

In as much silence as he could manage, he unlocked the door and opened it, then locked it and looked around. Absolute silence inside the house. It brought Heeseung a little peace to think that the motherfucker he had seen earlier would never set foot in his house again.

He took off his shoes and the jacket he was wearing, throwing the garment on the sofa and feeling his body begin to tire. His throat was dry from the beers and from crying, his eyes would surely swell up because of it and Heeseung always forgot that fact. It was a pain. So maybe a little water would at least save his throat; he'd deal with his morning appearance later.

Heeseung walked to the kitchen only to feel a scream escape his mouth as the fridge door slammed shut. 

"Fuck" he put his hand over his chest as he looked at your equally frightened figure. You had also let out a little scream, but he only heard his own because his ears were ringing "Why is everything out?" he asked when he saw you moving away from the fridge.

"I thought you'd already arrived, I didn't want to disturb you" you held up the bottle of juice, probably something you'd drink while you were there until you fell asleep.

Heeseung just nodded and walked over to the light switch, squeezing his eyes shut along with you when the brightness hit. It didn't take long to get used to it before he looked at you, swallowing dryly as you looked back at him.

"Is everything okay?" you asked. Heeseung was going to ask why but forgot that his eyes and the tip of his nose were probably red because he had been crying.

Shit. Continuing with the light off could have been better.

"I don't want to talk about it" he replied immediately, his nervous tone returning as Heeseung looked away from you.

"Heeseung—"

"You're here to look after Hajun, right?" turning to look at you, Heeseung felt his eyes misting up again. He didn't know why he felt like crying while standing in front of you, one of the only people he didn't want to show himself vulnerable to apart from his younger brother and his mother "So why don't you do your job, and stop asking questions?"

For a split second, Heeseung saw your shoulders slump, the bottle of juice resting on the sink and your lips parting to say something. He blinked a few times to keep the tears from falling.

"What's your problem?" you finally said to him, your chest aching and your heart beating fast from nervousness "I have no idea what's happened to you" with each word, you took a tiny step towards him because Heeseung was blocking the passage from the kitchen worktop to the main door to leave the room. You had no choice but to approach him "But don't take your frustrations out on me!" you wanted to shout the last sentence, but out of respect for Hajun and for him being asleep, all you did was poke his chest a little harder. Pushing your index finger in there.

Heeseung closed his eyes as he felt your finger pushing him, but before you could push him away, he grabbed your hand. 

Your eyes widened at him because that was the first touch the two of you had shared since you started working at the Lee family home. His fingers were warm against your wrist and you wanted to struggle to get out of his grip, but without a doubt, Heeseung was stronger and faster. Pulling your body against his and wrapping his other arm around your waist.

It would be foolish to ask what or why, and even more foolish to try to get out of there because with every reluctant movement you made, he pulled your body even tighter against him. He tilted his face towards you, lowering it enough to touch his forehead to yours, and you took the opportunity to lean in and meet his lips halfway. 

The touch of Heeseung's lips was soft, his tongue pressing against your bottom lip was electrifying and when he wrapped the muscle around yours, you could taste the lingering taste of beer in his mouth. It wasn't as if you'd never drunk before, but feeling the alcohol in someone else's mouth, Heeseung's had made your whole body shiver.

He pulled your body closer until his big hands and firm fingers pressed your waist to your butt. Giving small touches to your thigh, he wanted to signal you to jump into his lap, and without disobeying you did so, already knowing that your butt would be in contact with the cold marble countertop in the kitchen. 

Your legs wrapped around Heeseung's waist and body to pull him closer while you lost yourself in his lips. It would be a lie to say that he didn't notice every detail of your face, and you would also be a hypocrite to say that you didn't look at him a little more closely when he wasn't looking at you. But feeling the softness of those lips that were always frowning in your direction was wonderful.

Heeseung lowered his lips to your chin and kissed down to your jaw, then down to your neck, and like a damn pro, he hit exactly the spot that made your whole body shudder. Your reaction couldn't have been different, letting out a sly moan and clamping your legs even tighter around him. When Heeseung's body tightened between your legs, he instinctively moved his hips towards your, thrusting his hips to give your better friction between his legs. 

Your fingers tangled in his hair, tugging at each strand while your mouth worked wonders on his skin down to his collarbone. 

He moved his hips again, this time you could feel Heeseung's semi-hard cock pressing against your pajama-clad pussy. Moaning once more, you tugged on his hair as he lifted his head to kiss you again.

It was breathtaking how he felt between your legs, taken by your lips and touching your body with his fingertips. Your waist was perfect, fitting exactly between his palms as he pressed you even tighter against him. It was Heeseung's turn to moan against your lips when you planted your feet on his lower back to press Heeseung's hips even tighter against yours, nibbling on his lower lip to catch your breath.

"Y/n" he moaned your name and you almost whimpered and asked him to rip off all your clothes and fuck you right there. Heeseung would do it for sure, you wouldn't even think of denying it because of the way he was squeezing every curve of your body and chasing his lips to kiss you again.

If it hadn't been for the incessant crying upstairs. The two of you separated for a few seconds to see if you had heard the same thing. Heeseung's eyes traveled to yours and then to the kitchen door, hearing Hajun's crying again.

With great difficulty, he climbed out from between your legs, feeling the loss of contact grow cold between his fingers as he took a few steps back and took your hand to help you down from the worktop. Heeseung looked at you a little better this time. Lips reddened and the skin on your neck the same, a few bite marks he'd left while kissing there made him smile a little sideways as he saw your eyes go down to his cock.

"Oh" Heeseung threw his oversized blouse over it, even though it only covered half of his lower body, but he couldn't stop it. 

You'd even tease him about how beautiful he looked with his hair messed up – by you – and his red mouth too inviting to keep kissing. But Hajun had called your name, taking you away from all the unholy thoughts you were having in the kitchen with Heeseung.

"Shit" you turned away from Heeseung and watched him throw his head back, as frustrated as you were to get it over with as the two of you ran to the top of the stairs. Climbing each step a little faster until you entered Hajun's room and were followed by his older brother "Hey, I'm here."

"I had a bad dream, Y/n" he was crying, hugging your body quickly as soon as you sat on the edge of the bed.

You kissed the top of Hajun's head and looked at the door, beckoning Heeseung to come in too. And so he did.

"Hey buddy, are you okay?" Heeseung knelt beside the bed where you were sitting with Hajun.

"Seungie" the younger man pulled out of your embrace, this time choosing to hug his brother, "I had a bad dream."

"Do you want to tell us what it was like?" Heeseung asked.

Hajun remained quiet for a while still hugging Heeseung, probably calming down from the fright he'd had as he got out of his brother's arms and lay back on the bed. You dried the stubborn tears from his face with such a gentle touch, that it made Heeseung wonder if you would have done the same for him if you had seen him cry earlier.

What kind of fucking thought is that, Heeseung? He pushed any thoughts of this aside and focused on the scene in front of him, seeing that Hajun looked a little calmer as he sighed.

"I dreamt about my father" the mention of the man, made Heeseung's jaw clenched, and he wanted to curse himself so much for seeing that your eyes were on him now. Surely this could come up as a topic of conversation or, worse, now you could find out about his father. And that was a subject Heeseung didn't want anyone to know about.

"And do you remember what it was like?" you asked.

"Never mind, Hajun's tired—"

"He fought with me in the dream" Hajun interrupted Heeseung who was already on his feet, he didn't want to pace around while listening to his brother's dream "And then I saw him beating up Seungie and leaving the house with my favorite teddy bear."

Before Hajun could cry again, you grabbed one of his hands and kissed it.

"It was just a dream, it won't happen, Junie" trying to reassure the little boy that it would never happen was easier than you thought. He smiled at you.

"Promise you won't let it happen? That you'll look after me, but Heeseung too?"

Hajun's eyes were so pleading and piteous. You wondered if Heeseung did the same thing when he wanted something. But also, you wondered why that had been said. Why had Hajun asked you to do that kind of thing?

Your lack of words made Heeseung restless, moving from side to side until he went to the bedroom door. Perhaps you had been clear in your attitude that you were only there to look after Hajun. He just didn't know why it was bothering him so much, leaving a slight tightness in his chest. It could be because of his brother's dream, of course! That was it, wasn't it? Or was it his lack of an answer?

Heeseung didn't want to think too much, he didn't want to let anything get to him. But he was completely wrong when standing in the doorway of Hajun's room, he heard you.

"I promise, Junie."

If before it was inevitable not to look at you while you were around, now it seemed impossible for Heeseung to look away from you. Even having to spend a whole week with just you, him, and Hajun. 

The boy had the vivid memory of your lips against him in that kitchen every time he saw you say something. Your mouth moved to answer something his younger brother or talk on the phone to his mother because she called and wanted to know if everything was okay. Heeseung wanted to curse himself for remembering the sounds you made and how he felt when he got between your legs. It might have sounded pathetic to any guy who said it out loud, especially if it was about you.

He'd certainly heard half an hour of Jake's lecture about what had happened, especially as he didn't dare to say much afterward.

"She thinks I'm an idiot, then?" Heeseung asked.

"More than usual? Absolutely" Jake wanted to throw anything in his hand at his friend's head, especially after he saw the gleam in Heeseung's eye when he talked about you.

It was clear that all that denial was turning into attraction and Sim knew it would, he didn't read the silly novels that Ryunjin pushed at him for nothing, something would have to do and sure enough, it was the analysis he'd done on your – unofficial – relationship with Heeseung. Something he kept quiet until his older friend opened his mouth and told him everything.

At first, the kiss had been something that had shocked Jake, after all, Heeseung couldn't spend two seconds next to you without an argument breaking out. But as he went on to tell you about the events and how he had been acting around you during that week, something in Jake clicked. It wasn't necessarily a crush, but something in Heeseung about finding you attractive or starting to take a romantic interest in you.

"That's got to be a joke, doesn't it?" Heeseung turned to Jake and then looked at Sunghoon, another friend of the two of them who always listened to the lamentations and frustrations about how Heeseung had argued – again – with you.

"Firstly, you didn't deny it at any point when Jake talked about you being attracted to Y/n ever since we arrived" Sunghoon leaned back even further in the café chair, holding back a smile when he saw his friend's eyes go wide "Secondly, you kissed her, like, do you do that with someone you can't stand?"

Heeseung wanted to say yes, that was exactly it. It would be normal to kiss someone he can't stand, right? But the question would be... Why can't he stand himself? 

After keeping quiet for a while, he tried to forget how right his friends were because he didn't want to dwell on something he was struggling to forget, especially since his mother's week away was over and that meant you'd be going back home. No more seeing you at home all the time, at least not alone. This would give him time to think more calmly and put all his thoughts in order, which could make him even more confused if it were possible.

Sighing heavily after returning from university, Heeseung just wanted to throw himself on his bed and forget about all that mental confusion for the next few days. Isolate himself, do his homework, and pretend you weren't downstairs in his house. Maybe that would be easy. Maybe he could ignore it a little and try not to run around looking like an idiot in front of you because he's had a whole week, uninterrupted, to say a single word to you. But no, Heeseung couldn't.

At least he said good morning and smiled at you every day while you were with Hajun, right? You shouldn't smile back, you shouldn't make him almost scream internally because you were being nice to him. 

Shit, Heeseung. You sound like a teenager, you idiot. He might even have continued talking in his head if it hadn't been for the voices coming from the living room. 

Heeseung didn't want to think that he had arrived at his house after you and that he would see the scene of you fooling around with Hajun. He tried to run as far as he could when Jake gave him a lift so he wouldn't have to wait for you to get home and have lunch with you. At least not that day. But to the boy's surprise, the voices were much more different than his own. 

And he knew – unfortunately – who it was.

"Look, you're here" in the old days, Heeseung would have given anything to hear that voice cheerfully after coming home from school, perhaps if he were in eighth grade again. But coming home from university with a sick feeling in his stomach, he just wanted to throw up as he looked at his father.

"Son" his mother got up from the sofa where she was, not so close to his father, and they both seemed to be having an amicable conversation before Heeseung arrived.

"What are you doing here?" he asked directly to the man who was trying to smile in his direction.

"Your father called me yesterday, he misses you and Hajun" his mother had the sweetest voice of all, and on any occasion. Heeseung wanted to ask her how she was feeling in the presence of that man. It was impossible to have such a beautiful smile and calm voice after everything he had done.

"What the fuck are you doing here?" he knew that his pent-up anger would come out somehow, he just didn't want to explode in front of his mother. At least Hajun wasn't there.

"I asked your mother to spend a weekend with you and Hajun" he took a step forward to try to get closer to Heeseung. The boy did the same, mustering the only ounce of sanity he had not to slam his fist into the man's face. Unfortunately, it was still his father.

"I won't, and you won't get Hajun out of this house."

"Heeseung" his mother called out.

"What's your problem, Mom? Really?" Heeseung turned away from his father and walked to the middle of the room to approach his mother. It was almost like a plea when he let out, "After everything he's done, you still have the nerve to let him in and allow this? No!"

"He's still your father, my son" she smiled weakly "And it's only a weekend..."

"No" he said.

The protests could continue, Heeseung knew that this discussion would be so long that they would spend hours in that room. They shouted and protested that they wouldn't leave, but the door opened quickly.

Hajun's hurried footsteps and the conversation he was having with you were the reason the three of them shut up immediately.

"I can't do without this ice cream, Y/n. Please" Hajun whined. When you laughed, it was the only thing that could make Heeseung relax his shoulders, even if he didn't want to admit it. The sound of your laughter so close up awakened something in him.

"We can go to the other side of town after you've done your homework" you said, making the little boy giggle. Okay, maybe you were right, but he'd still convince you to go across town to the best ice cream parlor you and he had visited last week.

"Dad?" Hajun was the first to enter the room, looking at the scene before him. Upon hearing this, you took a few more hurried steps behind the little boy to be equally shocked by what you were seeing.

The father of the Lee family was there, for the first time since you started babysitting Hajun. Mrs. Lee had a small smile when she saw the little boy go towards her to hug him affectionately. But what caught your eye was Heeseung's furious look. That look you knew because it was the only thing you saw all that time, except when he looked at Hajun or his mother.

So Heeseung was angry at his father, the man who was smiling at you at that moment.

"Hello, you're..." he tried to make conversation when he saw that no one would say anything.

"Oh, I'm Y/n, Hajun's nanny" you approached to greet the smiling man, smiling too. But as soon as your hand almost touched him, a strong tug on your wrist made you stagger backward.

Your eyes quickly searched for the reason to find Heeseung already looking at you.

"Come up with Hajun, please" he ordered.

"Heeseung..."

"Not now, just go up with him" he whispered when he saw that Hajun was engaged in an awkward conversation with his father and mother "And stay there as long as you can."

"Are you okay?" Heeseung didn't want to have another clash of feelings at that moment, especially with your gaze so intensely on him. So he just nodded quickly and looked away to the other three.

"Junie, go upstairs with Y/n. I heard you need to do your homework..."

"But I wanted to meet the babysitter and, well, spend some time with your brother" the older man seemed quite nice, but if that was the reason Heeseung was clenching his hands into fists, it was certainly a false front.

"Hajun, go with Y/n" was the older brother's final word, and from the way the little boy didn't even question it, you knew it was something much more delicate.

As a silent apology, Mrs. Lee waved to you and Hajun before going upstairs to the youngest's room.

"Do you want to take a shower before you start your homework?" you asked, going to his closet to get some clothes that were more comfortable than his school uniform.

Searching for some sweat shorts and a T-shirt, you turned towards him to see Hajun's eyes redden and shine. Running up to the little one, you knelt in front of him before feeling little arms encircling your neck.

"Hey, hey, hey... Are you okay?" you whispered as you hugged him, sitting down on the floor to welcome the little one into a tight embrace.

"I don't like it, Y/n... I don't like it."

"What? What don't you like?" as you asked, your hands went straight to the little one's hair to stroke it as you let him cry in your embrace.

Hajun cried silently for a few minutes, sobbing softly as he felt a little safer in your arms.

"The last time Dad was here..." he sighed between whimpers, lifting his head a little to meet your face "He and Heeseung had a nasty fight, but neither of them knows that I know."

"Your mother knows?" you asked, Hajun agreed.

It was the night the betrayal came to light that Heeseung didn't want to put his mother through all that lying to sustain a marriage that was only for her. His father had been gone for a long time, or at least trying to maintain an appearance that didn't exist.

Hajun was supposed to be asleep that night, but Heeseung's furious shouts woke him up, causing him to get out of bed and open the bedroom door with a crack. Hearing the swearing and shouting, he also heard something. It sounded like a struggle. Mrs. Lee's crying aroused Hajun's despair and he almost went downstairs to see what was going on, why Heeseung was cursing his father. Hajun had never heard his older brother swear like that.

But before he could go downstairs, his mother stopped midway with watery eyes and a silent plea for him to go back to his room.

"Stay here, okay? And don't tell them about it" Hajun knew something was very wrong because he had never seen his mother cry. And after a few minutes, the fighting seemed to stop. 

The front door slammed hard and then Hajun tried to forget what had happened for so long until he only remembered after seeing his father's figure standing there in the middle of the room. They were flashes of the small event that was much bigger, and it made you even more curious because Hajun's words were few, even though they contained a lot of information since you were left in the dark when you arrived.

At least there was something to know, but it wasn't as if you needed to ask him everything either. You just wanted to protect him and you would do that, the questions could come later.

"God, dude, stop drinking" Jake whined as Heeseung poured himself another glass, ignoring his friend's protests.

"Why?" he asked "As far as I remember, we came here because I'm sad and I need to get drunk."

"Drunk is fine, but not to the point of vomiting" Jake took another glass away from Heeseung "I'm taking you away and I don't want anyone vomiting in my car."

It was a fair point, but Heeseung didn't want to make a big deal out of it. He wanted to forget the last few weeks.

He wanted to forget that, unfortunately, his father had had a shitty, friendly talk with his mother, agreeing that he would take Hajun away for at least one weekend to go for a walk or do something nice. Even if the boy's fights and constant swearing came to nothing. He knew he couldn't stop it, not legally, so as long as nothing happened to the little boy, Heeseung vowed not to speak a word to his father. 

Then he became even more frustrated by your presence in his home, and this was because, as the days went by, he realized that he could feel something. Not even the slightest something for you. But what he didn't count on was the fury that went through his whole being when he saw you laughing with a boy in the university cafeteria. Heeseung hardly ever saw you there, or if he did, it was always with Ryunjin, so why did it bother him so much?

The last fact had been a state secret, none of his friends knew anything about it. So they attributed Heeseung's bad mood and sadness to the events with his father and how powerless he felt to let Hajun meet the man he hated most on the face of the earth.

"I might as well go home alone" Heeseung flashed all his pearly teeth in a childish grin when Sunghoon arrived with a few more glasses.

He was such a savior of the fatherland, making his sad friend, who just wanted to get drunk at that moment, happy.

"So why did you ask me for a ride?" Jake raised one eyebrow, smiling "Why did you say you wouldn't drive and I was supposed to take you back home?"

"Because you love me and would do anything for me" Heeseung picked up another glass and turned away from Jake to drink.

There was no point in arguing or stopping the tallest boy from drinking that night, not even Sunghoon could do it. The only way out was to surrender and let Heeseung enjoy as much as he could, even if Jake sneered every time the glass was against Lee's lips.

He wondered what the car would look like if it swayed too much while he was taking Heeseung home, or what he would look like in the back seat or even in the back if he had to take Sunghoon too.

And it was this scene that Jake found himself in, a few hours later, as he carried his two best friends out of the bar. Sunghoon was in the driver's seat to guide the way while Heeseung sat in the back seat, his legs wide apart and his head resting against the back of the seat.

Jake looked in the rearview mirror, afraid that some fluid would come out of Heeseung's mouth or that he would have to stop abruptly so that his friend would run off and vomit. But no, the journey continued normally until the three of them stopped in front of Lee's house. Meanwhile, Heeseung's mind was far away. Closed eyes had been a plague on his life for the past few weeks because every time it happened, your face would appear in his mind. It was something Heeseung tried at all costs to ignore. Something he swore to himself that if it happened again, he would have to take action.

And it was impossible not to think about you after the last scene he saw, your smile at that other boy still played like a memorized movie in his mind and even if you hadn't meant it, Heeseung had no right to feel that way. He was the one who had been a jerk to you all along, you couldn't be expected to be sweet to him about it. 

"Heeseung" Sunghoon called out, turning back to touch his friend's knee. He opened his eyes slowly, getting used to the idea of seeing his friend's face and not his own in his thoughts.

"What's up?" he asked as soon as he was off the bench and sitting properly.

"We're here" Jake said, turning off the car "Do you want us to go in with you?"

A while of silence was enough for Heeseung's mind to wander even further and, without realizing it, it had already come out of his mouth without giving him a chance to regret it.

"Take me to Y/n's house."

"What the fuck?" Sunghoon almost shouted. Jake turned around abruptly, almost hitting Sunghoon head-on.

"Dude, what the fuck? Why are you asking me this?" he asked.

Really, why was he asking this? Heeseung didn't have an effective explanation for it, much less did he think he should. He just felt like it.

"I don't know, I just need to see her now and..." a long sigh came from his lips, Heeseung allowed himself to run one hand through his hair as he looked at Jake and then at Sunghoon "I need to make up for the shit I've done and tell her that I can't stop thinking about her."

"Oh" the two friends said at the same time, Jake swallowing down the urge to shout and say that it was all part of the little novel he'd written in his head about you and Heeseung. But that would be something for future conversations.

"Only if you tell me something" Jake said.

"Whatever you want to know" since everything was screwed up, there was no point in hiding anything from his best friend.

"Your father wasn't the only reason we were at the bar hours ago, was he?"

The shy smile that Heeseung tried to hide by biting his lower lip said it all, he didn't need a specific word for Jake or Sunghoon. It was clear how exactly that said that you had also been a reason, even if neither of them knew what it was. 

Seeing Heeseung like that was new for the two boys sitting in the driver's and passenger's seats, so all that was left was for Jake to start the car again and drive to your apartment. Without asking Heeseung any questions about it. 

But nothing stopped Sunghoon from making fun of him the whole way.

Words of encouragement were a mantra in the boy's mind who, with every step into the building where you lived, felt his whole body tremble. It was strange to be feeling this way, even more so for him who had never been this attached. Heeseung had never really thought that a girl could make him so nervous that he almost tripped over his own feet as he entered the elevator.

What could he say to you when he knocked on your door? That he wanted to see you? That would be something you wouldn't believe, even if it was the only truth he could tell you. 

It made Heeseung rethink everything he'd ever said to you and the way he'd treated you since he met you. He didn't mean to be rude and he knew that it was all a reflection of what he had experienced with his father's disagreements. You, unfortunately, were the only person around and he didn't want the sight of someone new coming into his house. Because the last person to come out from under that roof had made a huge stranger in his life.

Heeseung didn't want to give in to someone like you, who came so easily into the Lee family's life and won over even his mother. The way she talked to you, the way she treated you like a member of the family. Heeseung rolled his eyes every time his mother brought the same candies, but not just for him and Hajun, she brought them for you too. Or how affectionate she was with you when you were at his house, chatting like old friends and laughing at things he didn't understand. He didn't want to understand why his mother was so happy after finding out she had been betrayed while Heeseung was suffering and disgusted by his father's image.

It was something he hadn't understood until recently. Maybe all the answers were right in front of his eyes, he just didn't want to accept it yet. So he needed to throw his hands up in the air and knock on your door right then and there, and that's exactly what he did.

He didn't know how you would react and he didn't want to, just looking at you would be enough for him to smile and walk away. Maybe apologize and say some lame excuse the next day and hope you believed his words.

Heeseung heard footsteps from inside the apartment and some mumbling that you were already on your way, indicating that you weren't ready for visitors or were far enough away to answer the door. Apprehension gripped his entire body as he took a few steps closer to hear what was going on inside.

As soon as you opened it, finishing putting on one of the sleeves of your long coat, Heeseung's world seemed to stop right there.

You were beautiful. More beautiful than he'd ever seen you before. Sharing the same roof with you for a week when his mother went away gave him the right to see you in your pajamas practically every night, but he didn't know that you looked even more beautiful in light silk pajamas and wearing a wool coat to cover your exposed arms. 

"Heeseung?" your voice snapped him out of his thoughts as he looked at your face, the shock and curiosity screaming in your eyes making him feel euphoric. He didn't know what to say as he saw that you were still standing there, slightly startled by his presence.

He opened and closed his mouth for a few seconds to say something, but nothing seemed to come out. It was as if Heeseung had unlearned how to say anything because your gaze was making him shy.

When you took a step towards him, as if to get the attention of the boy in front of you, Heeseung didn't reason enough. He just raised one of his hands to touch the wool of your jacket and pulled you forward. The slow thud of your body against his made you let out a startled cry, which soon calmed down when Heeseung looked you in the eye.

"Jake gave me your address," he whispered "I needed to come here."

"Why?" your low voice sent all kinds of sensations through Heeseung's body and he wanted to be able to run away, but he limited himself. Squeezing his fingers against the wool of your jacket and loosening the fabric little by little.

"Because I want to talk to you, can we?" it was your time to deny it, tell him to go home and carry on without talking to Heeseung because a conversation with him would never end well.

But it wasn't like you to do anything you really should, so you gave him the go-ahead to enter your apartment and guide him to the sofa. Asking him to sit down before disappearing down the corridors. Just long enough for Heeseung to take off his jacket and put it on the armchair next to him, then sit down on the larger sofa and look around. Trying to get as many details as possible in case one day you asked him what he thought of your apartment.

Not that it mattered, he could say he'd need to go there more often to notice anything different. But remembering the first time you were here could be something useful and nice, perhaps.

"Here" you came back into the living room with a glass of water in your hands, walking over to the sofa where he was sitting and handing him the glass.

"Thanks" he said after taking the glass, drinking almost all the water in a matter of seconds. This was an indication of how nervous he still was after feeling your weight next to him on the sofa, the closest you'd been since the kiss you two had shared in the kitchen at his house.

Heeseung placed his glass on the coffee table and continued to stare at his own feet as he sighed slowly, clasping his hands together and playing with his fingers.

"My relationship with my father is the worst of all, and you've realized that haven't you?" you mumbled when he asked, albeit rhetorically, letting him continue his train of thought when he looked at you straight away "He cheated on my mother and ruined our family."

Oh. So that's why Heeseung was so harsh in his father's presence. And you couldn't understand how someone could betray Mrs. Lee, even if she was such an incredible woman.

"When my mother hired you, it was because she wanted to keep Hajun entertained most of the time and she knew I wouldn't be able to do that because I signed up for everything the university offered. Just so I wouldn't stay at home and have to deal with my father showing up."

Heeseung hated to lie that he had been neglectful to his younger brother about this, but he also couldn't risk bumping into his father and ending up fighting with the man in his younger brother's presence. That's when Mrs. Lee hired you as a nanny. Having someone to give the little one the attention that neither she nor Heeseung could be her priority. Someone you knew – even if you and Heeseung didn't speak to each other at the time – made the woman feel relieved because you seemed to have hit it off with the little one straight away.

"Seeing you integrate into the family made me feel angry because no one could like such a broken family with a false front" Heeseung was still looking at you, but his thoughts were a little more distant when he rambled "My mother wasn't happy when she hired you as a nanny. Hajun wasn't so happy when he met you and he only did it because my mother asked him to be nice to whoever was going to take care of him" a long sigh came from Heeseung's lips, looking away from you. "And I didn't accept that someone would be so nice to us because the last person who treated me, my brother, and my mother, so well, betrayed all of us."

You listened intently, seeing how broken Heeseung was inside your home. Opening his heart to you and asking for nothing in return.

He spoke for the first time about what it was like to have caught his father that night at the bar, how he felt the anger consume his body, and how he fought so many times until the man finally left the house. The divorce proceedings were kept under wraps because Hajun couldn't have known that something bad was going on, and your role was important in distracting him.

Heeseung admitted everything. And all the bad treatment he's given you since he met you was because he didn't know how to separate what was bad with his father, and that it shouldn't show to anyone. You wouldn't be like his father to anyone in the family, but amid the whole divorce process, you were there. Doing good for the Lee family without even knowing it.

And he didn't think he deserved it. I knew that Hajun deserved everything wonderful because he would spare his brother any bad feelings, but when you started being nice to Heeseung, he only knew how to be defensive. 

You weren't supposed to greet him every time you were at home, you weren't supposed to flash smiles in his direction, let alone wave after a short answer he gave. Heeseung was rude – even for no reason – and you were still nice to him. Or at least polite. He wanted to believe that it was out of pure politeness and because Hajun was almost always around.

"I know I was a complete idiot and you never deserved that anyway" he slid his hand up to rest on your knee, feeling the slow touch of your fingers against his. Hesitantly, you took Heeseung's hand to intertwine your fingers in each other's "And that day in my kitchen..."

"We don't— Don't need to talk about..."

"I want to talk about it" he interrupted you, squeezing your fingers lightly and looking at you. This forced you to look at him too and maintain eye contact as you listened to every word Heeseung had to say "It was the day I saw my father in the bar, I left very angry."

You wanted to ask why he had gone after his father because Heeseung liked to beat himself up about it. But perhaps that was a conversation for another time, his gaze was so intent on you that all you could think about was every word he said.

"When I got home and you were in the kitchen, arguing was so unbearable that I acted on impulse when I kissed you and..." Heeseung's gaze dropped to your mouth, his Adam's apple bobbing with a dry gulp as he swallowed his saliva nervously "I didn't regret it, because I wanted it again."

"You—"

"I don't know what you did, Y/n, but I can't stop thinking about that day" neither can I, you wanted to answer, but hearing you say everything without a hint of pressure was wonderful. Maybe you'd confess later, but hearing his confession first was much better "You make me nervous, and want to kiss you every time we're near each other."

It was your turn to swallow. Heeseung was still staring at your mouth as if he were mesmerized by every detail of your lips when he felt your hand break away from his and go to the face next to you. You pulled him by the chin and felt Heeseung's breath against your skin from the sudden contact.

"We're too close now, what can you do?" you whispered.

He knew very well what to do and he wasn't going to waste any more time as he had done in previous weeks. Heeseung allowed his lips to touch yours slowly, but showing the urgency he had to feel you like that again.

You completely surrendered to the moment of having to kiss Heeseung again, this time knowing the exact moment when he asked for permission to enter your mouth with his tongue and how much slower his lips were now. Each movement was well appreciated as his hands slid down to your waist and yours ran to the back of his neck. Pulling Heeseung close, almost as if he wanted to fuse him against your body. And he would certainly do that if necessary.

But all he did was lay you back against the sofa while still maintaining the slow rhythm of the kiss, sighing against your lips as you spread your legs to accommodate Heeseung's body between them. It was a scene from heaven to be there again and in a slightly better position than sitting on a kitchen worktop. Heeseung could have sworn he cried in the middle of that kiss at being so close to you again.

Like a memory from last time, as soon as you both felt the need for air and he slid his mouth over yours, a moan came out of his throat. As sly as if he was really inside you when Heeseung kissed a specific spot on your neck.

That sound triggered something in him that, at the same moment, Heeseung pressed his hips against yours so that you could feel the full effect that just one kiss had on him.

"Hee..." you whispered as he returned with kisses all over your skin until he reached your earlobe, nibbling the skin slowly before aligning his face with yours again.

"You wouldn't be able to stop me now, would you?" he whispered back, kissing your mouth as slowly as he moved his hips against yours. It was torturous and at the same time sensual to feel Heeseung's tongue slide against yours at the same pace as he pressed his hard cock between your legs.

You moaned once more, anchoring your legs and holding his body there. Helping with the pressure and making him moan this time, biting his lower lip to break the kiss.

"You're going to be the death of me, Y/n" he gasped as he looked into your eyes. The fucking beautiful expression with the disheveled hair and droopy eyes, red mouth and chest rising and falling to normalize breathing.

"My room isn't too far from here" you pulled him back to you, feeling his lips hover over yours. Heeseung's smile widened even more.

"Good" he sealed his lips to yours "I haven't stopped wondering how this would end since the day I kissed you in that damn kitchen."

He wrapped his arms around you, lifting you off the sofa to pick you up and carry you to your room with your instructions along the way. 

Heeseung just didn't know that you were also thinking about it, about to unravel all that thought.

© ikeuverse, 2024. do not copy, translate or steal my stories.

[eccentricwritingbaby]

i miss you, i’m sorry 

lando norris x reader

summary - breakup, missed calls, and lando at your doorstep. 

masterlist 

-

do you remember happy together?

i do, don’t you?

“hi, you’ve reached y/n! i can’t come to the phone right now but please leave me a messa-”

click. lando stares down at his phone, the daunting contact photo of you two together and happy staring back at him. mocking him. his eyes are brimmed with salty tears, his head mentally begging you to call him back. 

you had broken up one month ago, pressures of life forcing the two of you to become resentful and angry, with a common thought that you would both be better off apart. after two years together he moved out of your shared apartment, giving it to you, and finding his own. but, within a week, lando had missed you too deeply to even recognize any faults near the end, just hopelessly attempting to contact you in any way. he had called you every day since then, always getting your voicemail and never having the right mind to leave one. 

the boxes scattered around his apartment were just inanimate reminders of you, and how much he wished he would’ve never left. how much he wished he would have fought for you and your love, a love that hadn’t disappeared the more you two were apart, it only grew stronger. 

you said ‘forever’, in the end i fought it

please, be honest, are we better for it?

thought you’d hate me, but instead you called

and said, “i miss you”

i caught it

lando fell back into the couch, his dark phone haunting him as he reminisced. what was so bad about the end? you couldn’t make a few races? he knew his love radiated and compensated for that. he could deal with missed races and conflicting schedules if it meant having you back in his life. as he sits, the slight buzzing of his phone catches him out of his trance, and your smiling face appears on his screen. quick and slightly sweating fingers slide across the screen, answering fast with a clearing of his throat. 

“h-hello?” his voice slightly cracks into the phone. 

“hi,” he hears you sigh from the other line, his smile finally coming back as he hears your current voice, “you called?” 

“been calling,” lando tries to lighten the mood, “‘m glad you called back,”

“me too,” your soft voice is music to his ears, “i, i miss you,” your small confession was everything to lando as his full smile returned to his face for the first time since your ultimate breakup. 

“miss you too, love,” he sighs out in relief, “been needin’ to hear your voice,”

“yours too,”

nothing happened in the way i wanted

every corner of this house is haunted

and i know you said that we’re not talking

but i miss you, i’m sorry

“how’ve you been?” he subtly asks, his fingers now playing with the hem of his shirt - a nervous habit he had picked up from you in your years together. 

“have to admit, not that good,” he hears your giggle through his phone and his heart jumps with love, “the apartment feels too quiet without you here,” 

“my new one feels too empty without you here,” lando replies, his hand runs down his face, preparing himself for his next question, “listen, i-i know you said you didn’t want to see me but-”

“come over,” your voice interrupts, already knowing what he was going to ask, “please,” your voice drops into your most vulnerable octave, and lando is already scrambling to retrieve his keys in order to head out the door to your old shared apartment, to you. 

“be there in five, love,” he responds swiftly, jogging out the door in order to make it towards you faster. 

everything i know brings me back to us

i don’t wanna go, we’ve been here before

everywhere i go leads me back to you

the gentle knocking at your door brings you out of your post-call fog and back into reality. he was here. the man that walked out of your life easily and then wouldn’t leave you alone to heal is here. and fuck, you were so happy to see him. 

the breakup hadn’t been your first decision either, the words had just shouted out of your mouth before you could think things through in a fit of rage. and lando listened. and left. but now he’s here. 

opening the door you’re faced with the man you loved, love. his bright eyes and curly hair still the same, his hoodie and joggers making him ever so soft, and the smile graced on his face was hard to miss. 

“hi,” he whispers, almost afraid to scare you off.

“hi,” you whisper back, same fears in your brain as his, “come in,” you gesture to the inside of your once shared apartment, and he easily steps in, bringing a warmth that was missing to the space and making it a home again. just like that. 

“wow,” he states, keeping his same quiet demeanor, “i’ve missed this place,” looking around, his eyes land on you, “i’ve missed you,”

“i’ve missed you too, lan,” you take a step towards him, “i miss you, a-and i’m sorry, for everything,”

“why are you apologizing?” he takes your hands into his own, giving them both a soft squeeze, “i should be the one apologizing, i just left when things got hard instead of working on it and figuring it out, i-”

“no no,” you cut off his ranting, “i should have never suggested a breakup, that was my fault,”

“and i should have never gone along with it, i should’ve stayed, should’ve fought,”

“you did fight, lan,” your eyes begin to gloss as you look up at him, “you called and called, i just shut you out-”

“then don’t shut me out now, give me another chance,” his pulls your hands that are in his to wrap around his neck as his own land on your waist, “please, baby, give us another chance,”

“i love you,” you whisper, “i still love you, of course i want to be with you again,” lando doesn’t hesitate, now knowing you’re on the same page as him and moves forward to capture your lips into a breathtaking kiss.

“god i’ve missed this,” he pants, forehead resting against yours, “please never break up with me again,”

“please never leave again,” you whisper back.

“wouldn’t even dream of it, baby,”

[preciousjoongie]

↯ MAKE HER TAP OUT ↯

↯ synopsis ⇝ jaehyun, your enemy, challenges you and sees how long you can hold off being edged.

↯ warning ⇝ smut, enemies to friends with benefits, college setting, edging, overstim, squirting (all f!receiving)

you were perch against a tree in the middle of campus, a large textbook laid out in your lap. your face was a picture of stress with the way your eyebrows furrowed and your nose was slightly scrunched.

"having trouble?" an annoyingly smooth voice rang out, pulling you out of your deep state of concentration. a shadow of a tall but sculpted figure was casted a shadow on your and your books. if this wasn't going to make you go insane, he would.

rolling your eyes, you looked up at home. jeong jaehyun. the most annoying person on campus. or should i say on earth. you two went to high school together but he never really acted like this. he was actually on the shier side, only have up to 3 friends. but now that he's gotten into college, he tries to act like he's been this way forever.

yes, people can change. but you didn't really expect it to be jaehyun. you excepted him to be a nicer and kinder person but this.. this was bullshit. you should've stuck with your gut feeling and just kept yourself trapped inside of your dorm room all day.

"i'm perfectly fine," your voice was monotoned and laced with annoyance; it made him chuckle. "why do you hate me so much, baby?" you weren't gonna lie and say that him calling you that didn't make you feel some type of way. regardless, you wasted no time to give a response, "maybe because you're an asshole."

you roughly closed your text book and picked up the rest of your supplies, stuffing it all in your bag. jaehyun looked around at the other people in the park, "you don't have to be so loud, you know? it was just a question." he looked back down at you. you got up, throwing your bag over your shoulder. "yeah, well, regardless of how i say it, you're still an asshole."

"maybe i'm not an asshole. maybe you just think i am." he said, trying to match your quick pace. "why are you following me?" you said, now walking down the empty and concrete path you take to get to your dorm.

completely ignoring your question, he brought up something that made you want to snap his body in half. "or maybe you're just mad that i won that scholarship and you didn't." you stopped in your tracks. he stopped just a couple feet behind you.

you turned around, "yes, that is why i'm angry. your family is rich that you could buy my entire bloodline. and that scholarship was the only i could afford to come here! this is one of the most prestigious schools in the world and i could've had a full ride if it wasn't for you. now my family is in life long debt and if i don't become successful then i'm done for." you threw my hands up and brought them back down, softly hitting your plush thighs.

he sighed, always feeling bad about stealing that from you. "now, please leave me alone so i can become successful and save my family." you turned back around and continued walking. but you came to a halt again as you heard jaehyun speak. turning back around, you saw him walk closer. "i'll pay it off. all of it." his hands in his pockets.

you wanted to tell him off and tell him that you didn't need his sympathy money. but in reality, you did. you needed all the money you could get. "only if you can do one thing." and there's the catch. part of you knew it was too good to be true. "uh-huh." you mumbled.

he stepped forward, hovering over you. "i wanna edge you, see how long you can. and if you last longer than my timer.. then, yeah, i'll pay it off. but if you tap out before then.. bye bye money." his voice was low and cold. you could tell he meant it.

your face shifted into disgust, shaking your head. "fuck you, jeong jaehyun." you said before walking off to your dorm room. he watched you walk. walked the way your hips swayed and the way your hair slightly bounced as you did. he knew if he were in front of you, he'd get to see your round tits bounce as well.

it's been hours since that interaction with jaehyun. you sat at your desk, working on your math when you got a call. it was your mom. "hi, sweetie," her sweet voice sounded. "hi, mom." a smile beamed across your face.

you heard a heavy sigh come through the speaker of the phone. uh oh. that's not good. "is everything ok?" you asked. "well, your father and i would lie to you and say it is but, it's not. honey, you're gonna have to come home after this semester. we can't keep taking out loans from the bank. we are so sorry." your moms voice was shaky and she was hesitant to speak.

you pursed your lips in order to try and hold back some of the tears that wanted to fall. you sniffled before speaking, "it's ok. i understand. t-thank you for telling me..?" you didn't know what else to say.

after your mom hung up and you wiped your tears, you remembered what that giant pervert said. how hard could it be to last a couple minutes being edged? you sighed, can't believe you were actually about to do this.

you quickly walked out the door, going down the single suites downstairs. this is what you could've had if jaehyun hadn't have stolen this from you. "hey, hey, do you know where jeong jaehyun stays by any chance?" you asked one of the boys on the hall.

"last door to your left." he said. you quickly thanked you, almost sprinting down the hallway. as you got there, his door was decorated with blue stickers. you rolled your eyes at how childish the stickers were. you took a deep breath before knocking, trying to not think about.knowing if you thought about it, you would've ended up back in your dorm room and packing.

about 10 seconds later, the door opened to a wait haired and shirtless jaehyun. he smiled. you huffed, pushing him into his room and closing the door. "look what the cat dragged in," he smirked with a cocky laugh.

"are we gonna do this or what?" you were impatient. not to be touched by jaehyun but to just live a life where you don't have to live in debt and where it's not eating you and your family alive.

"someone's eager." he ran a hand through his hair. you crossed your arms and your head fell back. he licked his lips looking at you before grabbing his phone. "c'mere." he gestured. you walked over to him, looking at a spiny wheel on his phone. each section had a different number from .30-5 hours. you tapped the middle to spin with furrowed eyebrows.

it stopped on two and jaehyun nodded with a smile. "i'm confused, what does this mean?" you looked up at him. "2 hours. that's how long you belong to me, doll."

"2 hours? what!? and what do you mean by "belong to you"!?" you exclaimed loudly. he threw his hands up, "you work for what you deserve." you huffed before inhaling, ready to finally tell him off but before you could do that he pick you up, throwing you over his shoulder as if you were a sack, "yeah, yeah. i've heard enough of you running your mouth today. how about we hear some of those pretty moans instead." he entered his bedroom, closing the door. setting you down on the bed, and standing in front of you, you started your shit again. he was so tired of it.

"oh, you are such a pervert." you bit back at him. he quickly shut you up by pushing you backwards on his bed. a small shriek rang through jaehyun's ears after action. you sat up on your elbows. "i'm gonna take these off, okay?" his voice was softer, changing the whole mood from tense to calm. you nodded, not even hesitating. you laid back down fully, not even wanting to watch.

jaehyun slid down your shorts and your underwear in one swift motion. you felt so bare, your face heating up and your eyes widening. it went silent after the clothes hit the ground. sitting up, you saw jaehyun staring at your pussy in awe. he bit his lip before looking up at you with a smirk. "you're so wet, baby." he cooed before taking two fingers and running them through your folds. you hissed, your reaction making jaehyun's dick grow harder.

"i can't believe i have finally have you to myself." finally..? your face had confusion written all over it but since jaehyun had already started the timer, you didn't wanna annoy him anymore. he would've probably been an asshole again and add more time if you did.

"ready?" he asked, teasing your tight hole with two fingers. "yes," you squeaked out. he immediately, but slowly, stuck his fingers into your leaking cunt. a stunted groan echoed in the room. he curled his fingers, while quickly pumping them in and out of you. you furrowed your eyebrows and opened your mouth to moan but nothing came out for a second. that was until his long fingers brushed that sensitive spot in your pussy. you moaned loudly, now letting them flow out. his cold rings pressed against your clit, making you shudder but also bringing you closers as they gentle rubbed against it.

"j-jaehyun," you cried out. the sound of your wet pussy being finger fucked echoed throughout the room. "fuck!" you shrieked as you felt yourself about to cum. he saw the way your legs started to close are his arm and how your pussy did the same around his fingers.

he couldn't have that. he wouldn't. he quickly pulled them out before you could cum. a small whine left your lips. you tried to rely on rubbing your thighs together to get off. "good girl. good job letting me know how your gorgeous body works." he stroked the inside your thigh, trying to calm you down a bit before he got back at it. maybe he's not much of an asshole as you though.. still sj assume though.

you didn't hear when he dropped to his knees. all you could focus on the small twitches of your walls and you involuntarily clench around nothing. that was until you noticed warm air blowing on your pussy. before you could even lift your head an inch, a long stripe was licked up your pussy. jaehyun's tongue was flat. his hands gripped your thighs to stop you from moving your legs.

"ah, shit." you whimpered. you pulled up your shirt, and started to softly pinch your nipples. you were doing even more damage to yourself but you couldn't help it. you moaned as receiving pleasure from two different parts of your body. sure, you've played with your pussy and nipples at the same time but having someone eat you like this while you pinch your sensitive buds made it feel so much better.

you hand reached down to grab his hair. he was slurping up your juices so loud, like he was trying to quench his thirst. he shook his head into you cunt softly. you couldn't stop the lewd noises that came from your pussy and your mouth.

jaehyun was so into it. he couldn't care less if you came right now or not. he wanted to taste your cum so bad. but he knew to not let you go this easily. he wanted to work you up and break you back down over and over and over again until your body was shaking underneath him. until your body was like jello. he wanted to see you shattered. he wanted to make you tap out just to get him to stop.

he groaned into your pussy at how good you taste, "holy, fuck." he pulled away from your puffy pussy to mutter. your pussy was so wet and sticky since was covered in your juices and his spit. all thanks to him.

he drove right back in, not wanting to pull away from it again. his tongue fucked into you so deeply and when he softly nibbled or sucked on your clit, it drove you up the wall. "ah, fuck. jaehyun.." yoh legs started to close again making him pull back. you let out a groan, your high slowly faded away again.

that's how it was for next hour and a half. he would do anything and everything to push you close to the edge and pull you right back. he fingers you multiple times, sucked your tits and even used a vibrator he bought an hour before you even showed up, just knowing you were coming.

you body was shaking as jaehyun was back at eating you out. your body shook with every slurp, feeling his now warm rings at the rim of your hole. "jaehyun.. i cant do it anymore. it's too much for me," he staggered out. tears were flowing out of your eyes from some many rejects.

"come on, baby. i know you can do it." he tried to encourage you but it wasn't enough. your legs were too weak to tighten around his head. your hand left his hair to hold on to the covers that were soaked at the end from all your juices. but they're about to be soaked even more.

your core started to tighten but in a different way. it felt like you were gonna piss on yourself. "jaehyun.." you squeaked out which he hummed to. "jaehyun!" that's when hit the bed three times, tapping out. it was kinda of too late since the moment you tapped out, you squirted. it covered the bottoms of your thighs, the bed, and on jaehyun's chest and the bottom of his face and neck. you could hear the faint sound of your arousal dripping on the floor.

jaehyun licked his lips before smiling. embarrassment flooded your body as you thought you just pissed on him. "you just fucking squirted." he sounded amazed. which he was. he'd never made a girl squirt before. and him doing this, this was like an accomplishment. he chuckled a bit.

when you found out you just squirted, you felt relieved. but suddenly, you felt dread. you basically came before the timer. you wanted to sit up and say something but your body wouldn't allow you. jaehyun stood up and looked at your body. "oh, you look so beautiful, baby." he rubbed your thigh.

"look at this mess you made." he said gesturing towards his body. his abs were covered in your juices. you held back the whimper in your throat. even though your body felt like you couldn't even look around just using your eyes, you wanted to fuck jaehyun. you don't care if you have to tap out in the first second.. you wanted to feel him inside of you.

"fuck me." you whispered quietly. jaehyun didn't let you see the shock that went through his body. he thought you'd had enough and to be honest, he was going to let you rest for the rest of the week. knowing damn well you need it.

jaehyun's shorts weren't on for much longer. his cock was now stuffed deep inside of your swollen and abused cunt. you let out a strangled moan as his hips rubbed against your pussy clit. your hands wrapped around his neck. he moved quite slow at first until you asked him to go faster. he waited for you to say that. his hips snaps forward, his abs contracting with each thrust.

by the end of the night, or early morning, you were burned out. completely. jaehyun had to help you bathe and get back into your clothes. he laid you on the couch while he changed the soaking bedsheets. he brought you back into bed, laying next to you.

"don't worry. i was going to pay it regardless. and i know i'm a big pervert. but i'm a big pervert with a crush on you." he whispered as you had finally fell asleep, playing with your hair.

divider credits: @adornedwithlight

[mcflymemes]

PROMPTS FOR THE MORNING AFTER *  adjust as necessary, nsfw implied

this... isn't my bed.

i'll make us breakfast.

wait, how long have you been here?

did you stay the night?

you're so beautiful like this.

did i give you that hickey?

don't get up. stay right here.

kiss me again.

nice bedhead.

are you... wearing anything?

this was a bad idea.

i've wanted to do that forever.

did you enjoy it?

i did a number on your back. sorry about that.

is this your shirt?

maybe you should go.

i had a great time.

if you stay, i'll make us coffee.

i shouldn't have stayed over.

come back here. please?

i've never been like that with anyone before.

there's a bra on the ceiling fan.

did we... actually...?

we could do it again, if you want.

you made me feel... incredible.

was it... okay?

you look beautiful in my bed.

what do you remember?

was i too loud?

you can borrow my shirt.

i guess this makes us more than friends.

this can't be happening.

i could spend the day just like this, right here with you.

is that a hickey?

this was just for fun. it doesn't mean we're together.

this wasn't supposed to happen.

should we talk about it?

what time is it? i'm late for work.

how long have you been awake?

i remember... everything.

we should do that again sometime.

i think we cuddled.

that was the best night of my life.

what parts do you remember?

why don't you stay for breakfast?

was it good for you?

the sex was great.

how do you like your eggs?

are we still friends?

sorry, i've got morning breath.

i'd really like to keep seeing you.

i'm glad i invited you in.

finally... fucking finally.

please don't leave the bed.

don't make fun of me if i walk funny.

this doesn't mean anything.

my friends are never going to believe this.

i don't even know who i was last night.

no one's ever taken care of me like that.

let me help you clean up.

maybe we should forget this even happened.

i'm just going to... leave.

you said some wild things last night.

you're wearing my shirt.

maybe we could make this a regular thing.

am i blushing? i'm blushing, aren't i.

where did i put my glasses?

your clothes are in the living room.

i need a shower.

your hair's a mess.

you make a great pillow.

i thought we agreed this would ruin our relationship.

did i do something wrong?

we were pretty loud.

do you want me to leave?

i asked you to stay the night.

i bet your neighbors hate us.

stay like this.

well, that's one way to bounce back.

what about round two?

don't let go of me.

why don't you join me in the shower?

we can't keep doing this.

we're fucked, aren't we.

how long have i been asleep?

i tried to keep feelings out of this. i really did.

[pickingupmymercedes]

Lewis Masterlist

Series/Multichapters

Longer than I care to admit p.1 / p.2 / p.3

“I have loved you for longer than I care to admit. I have not stopped loving you, even when I said I didn’t. Even when hating you was all I wanted.”

It comes with the territory p.1 / p.2 / p.3

“This… this is the hardest thing I’ve ever done. But no love is worth losing my sanity over. Not even ours.”

An Invisible String Theory Story p.1 / p.2 / p.3

"I’ve always felt that string pulling me closer to something. But never, not even in my most beautiful dreams, had I imagined that it was to bind us together."

It was bound to come out p.1 / p.2

"Do I look like I'm joking? This is not a joke! My father has seen a video of us... the one video that couldn’t leave my phone!"

Not just a pretty face p.1 / p.2 / p.3 / bonus

"because even this… even this agonizing dance is better than not having you at all."

Maybe in another life - p.1 / p.2 / p.3

"A what-if that will forever linger in the quiet corners of my mind."

She’s here and she’s ours - p.1 / p.2 / p.3 / p.4 / p.5 / p.6 / p.7 / p.8

You couldn’t really tell if he was telling you or himself that. "How you feeling dad?" "Amazed, hopeful, scared... in love"

Get me out of here p.1 / p.2

“Why are you defending him?” “Because we need to think this through, babe. Toto’s not one of us anymore, you saw it.”

Your future was Ferrari - p.1 / p.2

Surely, it meant nothing for Lewis and you would probably never see him again. Your future was at Ferrari, somewhere he would never step foot in. Or would he?!

Specials (collection of drabbles)

Ways to say “I love you” p.1 / p.2 / p.3(NSFW)

All these little things p.1 / p.2

Small firsts p.1

Firsts - NSFW p.1 / p.2

Ways they show they love each other p.1 / p.2

One-Shots

Angst

It had to be enough - "I’m so fucking tired of fighting, of trying to prove that I still belong here." "I can’t keep watching you tear yourself apart like this. It’s killing me, Lewis."

Home is wherever you are - "You shouldn't have come" "Had to"

An impossible dream - "Don't you ever wonder what could have been?"

I didn't get scared. I'm always scared - “Do you even understand what it’s like for me? To love someone who lives every day like it might be their last?”

Not now, not ever - "You don't have to go through this alone, you know"

I'll come find you - “I’m scared… of how things have been, of how things are going to be.”

If these wings could fly - “I don’t think I’ve ever felt anything like Sunday. It’s been so long and everyone’s worked so hard for that”

And just like the sun, we will rise - “I can’t promise to have all the answers, but please let me in”

Fluffs

Salt and Starlight -“This is exactly how I imagined love when I was a teenager.” “Yeah? Did you imagine me too?” “Shut up.” “For the record, I like vintage Ferraris better anyway.”

A Christmas Carol - “That’s what makes it special, honey. It’s never about the perfect decorations or the perfect dinner. It’s about… this.” “The mess. The people. The noise. The love in all of it.”

What it means - “Since I was five, since I first saw Ayrton race on TV. He was my absolute hero, and I didn’t know much about the world back then, didn’t know what I could be, but seeing him… it made me believe.

Lucky you're hot - The kind of kiss that would’ve been cute—if it weren’t for the fact that I was very much on camera, in a professional setting, with a dozen or so people watching.

A smile like that -"And he’s out there, posting photos like it’s some romantic movie."

A bit mushy - How Lewis and his wife do in a couple's Interview.

Happy you're home - "And trust me, he adores you. He just doesn't know how to express it."

Later it is - “But that safety pin right there is holding on for dear life.” “I only care about what you think.” “Flatterer.”

Of thorns and blooms - "It's meant to be worn by someone who sees the world differently, who tells stories with every thread"

He always rises - "Like I knew I'd given it my all, every lap, every strategy meeting. And finally, finally, it’s paying off. It feels… good. It feels so damn good."

R for Roscoe, C for Coco - "You went through all this trouble just for Father's Day with Roscoe?"

Boy from Stevenage - "you don't need to win over that entire room tonight. You just need to make that brave boy from Stevenage proud."

Whispered fairytale - "The point is in the surprise. The joy of meeting them, whoever they are, for the very first time."

A thousand times over - "Since I still don’t believe it’s true… would you marry me, again?"

It sounds silly - "I'm a grown woman who’s achieved success in life, yet… I find myself comparing to those other women."

NSFW (+18 only)

White Fireproof - “I’m only pointing out the obvious. The 2019 ones were iconic. These? Meh.” “I don’t remember much from that race. But those ten minutes? Burned into my memory forever.”

Can't check out -“Where’s the cutthroat guy who would have had me pinned to the wall by now?"

Utterly gone -“But for the record, I also owe you.”

Very First -“I want this. I want you. And I’m not saying that lightly.”

Salty -"Told you” she whispered, her thumb brushing against his bottom lip. "It’s salty."

Damn him -“I believe you’ve got two things that are mine” “My hair tie you took with you this morning. And you babe, you're mine.”

Give yourself some credit - “I’m gonna give you five minutes to mourn that shit qualy” “You think you can handle me, pretty girl?”

What those arms can do - "Let's focus on you for now, love. And what these arms can do to you."

Warm enough - "Did you know there were no doors in this place?" "I might have known. Thought it could be romantic"

It's not just a win - The 104 special - "I just...I needed this. I needed to win. To prove to myself that I still can."

Improvised Compensation - "My plans definitely involve you" he continued, "but they can be done anywhere"

As good as chocolate - "That's a new way to claim your share"

I'm yours, only yours - Vegas special - “You really thought she was any match for you?”

It always points South - “Your compass tattoo, huh?”

My Venus - MET special - "I can actually feel your eyes searing holes in my dress, Lewis."

I want South - "Hello, miss explorer”

You only need to ask - "Seems like someone's forgotten how we got here in the first place"

It's Mrs. Hamilton - “Mark me, show me who I belong to”

The things we do for fashion - "Like what you see?" "More than you'll ever know."

Show me you care - “I’m asking you to, show me how much you want this, because I know you do”

My mark - “I’m not one to leave things unfinished”

NSFW alphabet

Senna!Reader x Lewis Hamilton

Thank you for everything - "It doesn't matter how long it's been" "Grief doesn't have a deadline."

Under an Ipê tree - “He would’ve liked you I think… would’ve hated to race you, for sure."

Drabbles

Do not under any circumstance plagarize, edit, repurpose, or repost any of my original work. this includes all of my works.

copyright © 2024 pickingupmymercedes all right reserved.

[tallykale]

episode 19

as you can probably tell, i've thought a lot about what post-canon one would look like in my vision... i've said before that i have issues with straightforward fix-its, and i do genuinely love the tragic open-ended conclusion that the series has, but i... am not immune to playing with characters like dolls LOL

here's some writeups about where everyone is at mentally in these pictures. please please please PLEEEASE feel free to ask me more about this cuz i love talking about my beautiful mind palace

charlotte: somehow the most optimistic person in here, mostly out of necessity. when she died, she saw parker leading her out of a cave as her waiting room and was about to take his hand when airy respawned her, so she has a brief moment of bonding with bryce when he talks about the waiting room and seeing stella. with the knowledge that there is potentially a way to get out (bryce and liam being the proof) and the fear of rotting away again she is by far the most actively motivated to help liam figure out the computer. a lot of her days are spent talking to liam over the mic and writing out the code in the dirt so she can try to understand it. she still has to push against her natural misanthropy (and often shouts at liam or bryce for being fucking stupid and useless) but both working on the code and helping amelia give her something concrete to focus on outside herself. she wants to get home so she can make amends with her friends. charlotte is scared of dying! she's really genuinely horribly scared of dying and has awful vivid nightmares about rotting away. she often pushes amelia into talking about her life which causes some tension, but it's because she really hates seeing amelia lose herself like that - a metaphorical rotting away of the self.

subway seat & atom: not on the same level of pure existential depression as the batch 1 contestants, but they both feel the hopeless mood pretty harshly regardless. subway feels very lonely as the only hidden object still 'awake', and likes to carry whippy creamy around rather than just leave him sitting on the ground constantly. tray is too big and unwieldy for him to do that with, but he 'hangs out' with her anyway, talking to her and whippy creamy in the hopes that it'll get them to want to wake up again. atom doesn't talk much, but he still carries his piece of grass. he's definitely the person who's the least affected by the prospect of being stuck on the plane forever, since he… doesn't really perceive existence in the same way as everyone else? he's an atom. but his time in the competition definitely made him view everyone else as friends, and he feels even more powerless than usual in the face of this incomprehensibly difficult problem.

amelia: falls into total hopelessness when bryce rejoins, basically seeing it as the final sign that they're never going home. still calls everyone their competition names (she actually gets into a big fight with bryce about it lol). she gets really clingy and dependent on bryce when he first comes back but it crashes and burns pretty quickly when, during an argument, bryce tells her how much he wishes he could just go back and never have let liam in and forgot about everything… which really sucks for amelia to hear, given that she's part of that everything. after that, with bryce isolating himself, she's kind of reliant on charlotte to keep her going. she blames liam for airy dying and secretly kind of thinks he killed him but just isn't telling them… she also doesn't really believe there's any way of getting out and is just kind of waiting around to die of, like, old age i guess. after how long she's been here, amelia is convinced that she has nothing to even go back to and frequently forgets details about her life. regularly cries and hates being alone. the shift markings on the side of the water tub have changed from being a way to keep track of time and stay sane to a horrible reminder of how long they've been here and how much longer of an eternity they have before them.

bryce: hates himself and liam and airy and the plane and his entire stupid fucking life. bryce is really, really fucking pissed off at liam for losing the notes and letting texty die and every other mistake he's made, and isn't shy about telling him that. as well as being angry, he's also incredibly miserable, because he was finally starting to turn his life around (he quit drinking after the plane) and now it's all for nothing - and even worse, those 7 months he spent getting better were 7 months he did nothing to help the rest of them, especially amelia. he's horribly guilty about that, and that he didn't tell amelia about the fake votes before he was eliminated… but finds it easier to just let liam take the heat for that one at first. after he fights with amelia about it he becomes a bit of a hermit, hanging out by himself next to the plug, and never responds when liam tries to talk. contemplates suicide regularly but pretty much the only option is drowning himself, and the idea of that still scares him more than staying like this forever. would kill for a beer.

liam: tortured by horrible guilt every day over a million different things. these include getting bryce pulled back into this (plus delayed guilt over getting him for real killed), letting texty die and not saying anything about the charger, not telling amelia that everything was fake, knowing that charlotte is going to die if he doesn't get really smart really fast… he's frequently gripped by fits of rage where he almost smashes the computer and has to hobble around outside with the axe for a while to blow off steam. he has really bad nightmares and dissociative episodes, made worse by the isolation and spending hours in a dark cave. liam really wants to fix things with everyone but genuinely has no idea how to start that conversation. he assumes airy killed himself (and views it as an unforgiveably cowardly move) and directs a lot of resentment towards him. he has a lot of things he wants to say, especially to bryce, but the fact that he cant talk to anybody one on one makes things difficult. spends a lot of time just reading through the code, too afraid to actually make any changes in case everyone explodes, but talking it through with charlotte at least makes him feel like he's doing something. more than he would like to admit, liam catches himself staring at the plane as if it's a simulation or a livestream.

[freshloveee]

❛❛ 𝐢𝐧𝐬𝐭𝐚 𝐩𝛐𝐬𝐭𝐬 ❞

summary - chris n singer!reader insta posts

notes - these are just some random ones no specific order/timeline but PLEASE send in some reqs guys its a rare sighting of me being motivated 💪

y/n.l/n

♫ nights · frank ocean

y/n.l/n - me! plus chris is in boston so im trying to get him to miss me

liked by arianagreenblatt and 963K others

view all 654K comments

christophersturniolo its working bro

↳ y/n.l/n good can u come back now i miss my yapper

↳ y/ns.angelll "my yapper" SOBBING.

matthewsturniolo w song

↳ y/n.l/n thank you thank you i know my music taste is impeccable

↳ matthewsturniolo calm down lil bro

madisonbeer MY GORGEOUS GIRL

↳ y/n.l/n come home bbg the kids miss you

↳ christophersturniolo bro?

↳ nickaustin chris come here rn we gotta make them jealous

♫ mona lisa · y/n l/n

christophersturniolo - what do yall know abt singular act 1

liked by lyricallemonade and 678K others

view all 452K comments

y/n.l/n turn this shit off right the fuck now.

↳ y/n.l/n anyways hi sexy

↳ christophersturniolo sup

↳ y/n.l/n bro is nonchalant with it 🔥🥶😈

↳ christophersturniolo why do you say these things

matthewsturniolo bros getting flashbacks to his y/n phase

↳ christophersturniolo never left it wdym

↳ christophersturniolo i came out of the WOMB wearing my y/n merch dont pmo

nathandoe8 TREVVVV MY GUY

nicolassturniolo BOW BOW BOWWWWW

y/n-chris-4EVER i think y/n likes this song

y/n.l/n

♫ glue song · beabadoobee

y/n.l/n - birthday boy !! thank u for making me geniunely happy again love u forever 🤍

liked by larray and 785K others

view all 564K comments

christophersturniolo i love u more

↳ y/n.l/n incorrect

↳ christophersturniolo i was smiling and giggling until the last slide

↳ y/n.l/n im sorry you know i can't be serious for too long

matthewsturniolo get a room you losers

↳ y/n.l/n get a girlfriend you loser

↳ y/n.l/n get a life you loser

↳ y/n.l/n leave the house you loser

↳ y/n.l/n bros mad because he can't pull

↳ matthewsturniolo okay im sorry

↳ y/n.l/n happy bday 🤗

nicolassturniolo i hate the fact that you guys are cute

arianagreenblatt parents! (real not clickbait)

zay-sturns

♫ espresso · y/n l/n

zay-sturns - Y/N WON A VMA !!!!!

liked by et6rnalsun and 1.6K others

view all 846 comments

fawnchives SHE LOOKS SO GOOD OMG !!!

quinnysnursery UGH I LOVE HER

christophersturniolo thats my girl right there

↳ ginswife theyre so cute :((

luckystarlogs MY BABY WON HER FIRST VMA

nicolassturniolo motherrrrrr

↳ thenickgirl HI NICK I LOVE YOU

↳ nicolassturniolo HIIII

↳ thenickgirl OH MY GOD

matthewsturniolo i guess im proud or wtv 😐

matthewsturniolo JUST KIDDING GUYS SUPER PROUD OF Y/N SHES LIKE MY LITTLE SISTER

[myownwholewildworld]

12. MORNING DEW

chapter 11 | ao3 | series masterlist | chapter 13

pairing: post-outbreak!joel x f!reader. summary: you and joel need to discuss what the future might look like for the both of you. whether that's together or on your own. a/n: HI! please accept my apologies, i know it's been like a month since i last updated this series. but fret not, here's chapter 12! hope you guys like it. as always, i appreciate comments, reblogs and likes, they keep us writers well fed and motivated! take care, lovelies <3 x warnings: 18+, mdni. fluff, some angsty hurt/comfort. smut because i got my period halfway through writing this. fingering. handjob. oral (m!receiving). edging. soft dom/sub dynamics. brief references to attempted suicide and attempted SA. reader is female, no other description given. reader is mid-late 20s, joel is 37. no use of y/n.  joel’s and reader’s pov. and a special guest’s pov too 👀 dividers by @\saradika-graphics w/c: ~6.5k. taglist aka the drama wagon at the end of the chapter (let me know if you want to be added/removed from the list pls!)

It never seemed to be the proper time to speak to you, Joel thought. Ever since his fuckup last night, he had struggled to find the words, to explain what his thought process was. A few hours ago, he had talked himself into ripping off the plaster and apologise to you, but when he called your name and you turned around with a composed expression, he froze in place.

He didn’t want to lose you too. Joel was afraid he would say something wrong again that would push you even further away from him. And then he would truly be alone, all because of his own actions, his own words. That fear clamped around his throat, preventing him from saying anything. From reaching out.

It was stupid, really. He knew that. Knew you were expecting him to say something, anything. Your blank expression was just a façade, a wall you had built around your heart so he wouldn’t hurt you anymore.

Joel hated himself for it, for your concealed hurt. Hated he had broken that trust between you two and made you feel like he was no longer on your side. He was, always had been, always would be. But he had let fear come between you, an abyss so vast he didn’t think it was salvable. It had to be though ― couldn’t be any other way.

The possibility of being a father again laid in front of him like a path full of dangers. Joel understood how much he could lose, because he had already lost Sarah. How suffocating that experience had been ― still was, every single fucking day.

He was frightened to go through it all over again. Having to hug another dead child of his; having to witness the light flicker away from her eyes. Sarah had been his everything ― his hope, his pride, the love of his life, the reason he would wake up in the morning to go to work, counting his blessings. And it didn’t matter in the slightest how good she was ― she was taken regardless. This world was cruel and unjust and greedy.

But there was also a sliver of hope, of dull excitement, shimmering underneath. One he wouldn’t allow himself to feel.

He still felt like a failure of a father who could not protect his baby girl when she needed him most. That emotional baggage would forever be with him. And he wanted it that way, because it meant he still remembered. This grief he carried was a reminder of the love he held. And he hoped it stayed with him, that she would stay with him.

Joel could still vividly remember digging with bare nails the grave Tommy had prepared for her. Elbow’s deep in the dirt, his fingers reaching for her as thick tears blurred his vision. The wails ripping his lungs apart, leaving his throat raw and tender. And Tommy hugging him from the back, arms clamped around his shoulders ― crying, begging him to stop.

“Little Sarah is resting now.”

“Let her be, Joel.”

“Stop unburying her, dammit!”

“I’m sorry, truly sorry. God I can’t―”

“She’s at peace now, Joel. No more suffering.”

Tommy’s slurry voice still filled his ears. His little brother had tried his best to comfort him, but at that moment in time, Joel had been too blinded by the gut-wrenching pain, the unbearable loss. He never really thanked Tommy for that. Never thanked you for stopping him from killing himself either.

Being an ass to the people he loved, apparently, was his only strength. Just like he had been with you when you needed him most.

Joel watched you as you struggled to unzip your sleeping bag, the soft material catching on the serrated teeth. You yanked the pull, almost snapping it from the slider, mumbling something to yourself.

He covered your tiny hand with a broad one of his, lightly squeezing your fingers.

“Let me help,” he muttered as you leaned back away from him.

Your subtle physical rejection stung, but he knew he deserved it. His hurt was nothing in comparison to yours.

Letting go of the bag, you faked looking for something in your backpack, avoiding his eyes when they searched for yours. Joel felt that the void between you only grew and grew, like darkness gaining ground to the light outside.

Could he mend your relationship? Your trust? Your love?

With careful hands, Joel managed to release the pinch on the fabric and tested that the zipper worked how it should do. When he glanced up at you, handing over the sleeping bag, Joel caught the rawness in your eyes, the slight dampness clinging to your eyelashes like morning dew on a petal at dawn.

It was now or never. He was hurting from seeing you hurt. Couldn’t take it any longer, he just had to say something, apologise to you. Ask to start the conversation all over again. One more second of this and he would lose his goddamn mind.

“Sweetheart, I―,” he managed to say out loud.

“I’m tired, Joel,” you quickly interrupted him. “Just wanna go to bed now, if you don’t mind.”

Your words were like a sobering, cold shower after a few beers ― stopped him right in his tracks before he could even begin to express what he wanted to say. Slightly shocked, Joel watched you fiddling around with your sleeping bag before you got inside it and turned around, facing away from him.

His slack jaw was soon gritting. But that brief anger quickly shimmered away when reality started to set in.

Perhaps he had misread the whole situation; perhaps you were not waiting on him to talk.

Perhaps you were past that ― past him, his bullshit and his doubts.

Perhaps your relationship was truly beyond salvation.

He paled in the face of such possibility, his hands shaking as they gripped his own sleeping bag.

Joel was up almost all night, eyes transfixed on you as his brain worked out all scenarios.

You faked falling asleep, but rest evaded you for hours until you finally gave in to exhaustion. Didn’t last long though, because a couple of hours later, you were, once again, wide awake.

The whole situation with Joel was overwhelming. You had hoped he would come to the car as soon as you left him behind, but he didn’t. Then that night you waited for him to say something, anything, and yet again, he didn’t. Not a fucking word when you both woke up this morning either, except for your name falling from his lips like a regretted whisper. Then complete radio silence and nothing else.

The silence treatment he had given you today was unbearable. Even if your doubts had lingered, pushing you to postpone the inevitable, deep inside you had hoped his reaction would be different. Shocked, yes, but then he would be… perhaps not happy, but at least a bit more excited? And after the shock had worn off, he would have soothed you, calmed you, told you everything was gonna be alright.

Maybe you had expected too much of Joel, your little delusion blinding you. After all, he had already lost Sarah. So now, in retrospect, this announcement might have unearthed bad memories, but especially regrets.

Was that it? Had you unburied his most primal fear? You had been so focused on what laid ahead, you had not stopped to consider what laid behind ― what this would mean for Joel. You had briefly contemplated he could perhaps see this as a blessing or a curse, but didn’t dwell too long on the thought, preoccupied as you were with other pressing matters.

You felt sick and it had nothing to do with pregnancy.

And then, when he had tried talking to you before going to bed, you had shut him down. But you were so tired, so mentally drained, you didn’t have an ounce of energy left to deal with a conversation like that. Because you truly didn’t know what he would say ― he wore such an impassive expression on his face, it was really difficult to tell.

You turned on the hard, creaky, wooden floor and faced Joel. One of his arms was resting on the wooden planks, extended towards you, as if he was trying to reach for you in his sleep.

You were in an abandoned cabin just outside Oswego. It was bare and completely stripped of furniture, but at least had a roof that would protect you from the cold, wet weather outside. It also had a covered chimney, but being so close to civilisation, it had to stay put out. Sleeping in the bag was not ideal, but it kept you warm.

Taking a deep breath, you then felt some sort of cushion under your neck that had not been there before you fell asleep. By touch, you realised it was one of those inflatable travel neck pillows that you had seen people use in airplanes. Frowning, you gathered Joel must have found one and tucked it under your head in your sleep.

You carefully studied Joel’s handsome, weathered face from the safety of your sleeping bag. Even in his sleep, his eyebrows were bunched together, a deep wrinkle ploughing through his skin almost permanently, giving him a worried look. His aquiline nose was buried in the fabric of his sleepsack, his long eyelashes caressing the top of his cheeks.

He would roll his eyes at you every time you called him “gorgeous” or “handsome”, but he really was. You loved to tell him, to help him see through your eyes. You knew he sometimes needed to hear it, to remind him of his own humanity. It was normal to lose sight of it in the current world you lived in.

And you loved him, the whole of him and his ghosts, even though he was a tactless prick sometimes. You had come to learn that when cornered, Joel could react like a beaten dog ― crouched back and showing teeth, ready to bite at the slightest provocation. Couldn’t blame him, even if you tried.

Feeling restless, you carefully unzipped your sleeping bag, not wanting to wake Joel up, and put your boots on. God knew you both needed some rest. Silently you stood up and stretched your back and arms, then one hand mindlessly stroked your belly. It wasn’t swollen at all, but the idea of a life growing inside you sat snugly in the back of your mind.

“What are we going to do, little one?” you whispered to yourself before grabbing your coat.

Needing some fresh air, you walked outside in the middle of the freezing night. It had been snowing, because there were at least three inches of white fluff blanketing the ground. Which meant the car battery could quickly drain and leave you stranded, so you went to check on the hidden Jeep.

Joel’s body jerked uncontrollably, one leg shaking as if he was falling off a cliff. Instantly waking up, he nervously looked around him, trying to recall where he was.

His hand patted the wooden floor in the dark, and when he located your sleeping bag, his breathing hitched at finding it empty. Then he heard the front door creaking, a sliver of moonlight coming through.

Were you leaving him in the middle of the night? Had he completely broken your trust, your relationship? Had he no chance of mending his mistake? Were you so hurt you would go without a word, without saying goodbye?

God knew he deserved it. He wasn’t cut for a relationship; he always ruined it. Should have known better than falling for you and giving in, but you were so warm, so effortless to love, so natural… How the fuck could he not? He was only human after all.

With a deafening pulse in his eardrums, he kicked the sleeping bag off as he got up with jerky, edgy motions, running towards the door to stop you from leaving him. For you he would fight, he would give you a whole motherfucking speech of why he loved you and how sorry he was. He at least had to try.

Joel swung the door open, and a frosty breeze greeted him, his skin bristled almost painfully at the feeling of frostbite.

You were walking through the snow, wrapped in your coat and with the hood on ― you looked so ethereal, your side profile bathed by the moonlight like a night fairy. Your features glowed under the lunar lustre, and he couldn’t help but fall for you even more.

Barefoot he followed you, his soles numb after a few steps through the snowy mud.

“Babe, wait,” he muttered, one hand reaching for your elbow.

You startled at his touch, and Joel didn’t know if it was rejection or that he had surprised you.

Your big, beautiful eyes widened when you saw him there. You wore a tired expression, and he knew himself the culprit.

“Where are you going?” he questioned in a whisper, heart still and lungs empty.

“I―”

“Please don’t go, don’t leave. I can do better. I’m sorry,” Joel stumbled with his words.

Had never felt this exposed as he was about to split his core in half, to undress emotionally in front of someone, allowing himself to be hurt by the only person it mattered.

But it had to be done to keep you by his side. So he did.

“I panicked. I wasn’t expecting― it didn’t even cross my mind that you… well, could be pregnant. It caught me so off guard, the news didn’t sink in. I’m sorry I reacted like a fucking idiot; I know I’ve disappointed you because of it. It’s just… ‘s hard, you know?” Joel swallowed to dissolve the dense knot forming in his throat, “I already had a shot at fatherhood, and I fucking blew it. I couldn’t protect her despite loving Sarah with all my heart, so the possibility of having to go through all that heartache again… I just, I don’t―”

Joel took in a deep, trembling breath as he unconsciously palmed his broken wristwatch, trying to soothe himself. He attempted to read your expression ― your lips pursed and eyes teary. Was he breaking your heart even further? You were about to cry, and he didn’t know if that was a good thing or a bad one.

Anxiety was taking hold of his throat and gut, strangling him.

“Look, I’m not gonna lie to you. I’m fucking scared, so scared I don’t think words do it justice. But I’m also thrilled, baby, I swear I am. I owe it to you, to myself, to this baby of ours… I ain’t going nowhere. Wherever you go, I’ll follow you both,” he husked, almost breathless. “I’m sorry I said what I said. Neither of us have a choice, but even if we did… I wouldn’t change a thing. This baby is happening for a reason and whatever that is, I’m all in, come what may. I love you, I really do, and I hate myself for having hurt you like this. I just suck at expressing my feelings and―”

You placed a gentle hand on his naked forearm, which made him lose track of what he was saying. Your fingers gently squeezed his cold flesh as you took a step closer to him. Your free hand slid across his left hip, dipping under the tee shirt he was wearing, until it reached the small of his back and you pushed him towards your body.

His taut muscles visibly relaxed at your touch and hug, his lungs filling up as he drew in the deepest breath of his life. Wrapping his arms around you, he held you close to his chest, chin resting on the crown of your head.

“Joel, I wasn’t leaving,” you murmured, cheek nuzzling against him, a tentative smile lingering on your mouth.

Joel’s eyebrows knitted together. From his perspective, it was more than obvious that you were actually leaving.

“Oh? I thought―”

“I was just going to check on the car battery since it’s freezing out here,” you interrupted him, glancing up at him.

Joel pursed his lips together, then licked them nervously.

“Well, everything I said still stands. I am truly sorry, sweetheart,” he said, mouth lightly pressed on your forehead.

A deep sigh after, you took a step back, your hand travelling from his forearm to his fingers, intertwining them with yours. Your palm was so warm in comparison to his, he just realised how little clothing he had on.

“For being a man who “sucks” at expressing his feelings, dare I say you’ve just spoken like a professional orator?” you jested, a grin curling the corners of your lips. “And I am sorry for not being straightforward with you. I was afraid of how you would take the news, and, well…” you shrugged, “you can’t blame me, can you?”

Joel shook his head vehemently. He definitely couldn’t ― the proof was there for both of you to see.

“But I understand how frightening this is for you. I can’t even begin to comprehend how you must have felt when… when Sarah left us. I was so blinded by my own insecurities, I didn’t dwell for too long on how this would affect you emotionally. So I apologise and―”

“Don’t. Don’t apologise, please. That’s a pain for me to bear, you shouldn’t have to think about it.”

“But I do, Joel. I want to bear it with you, so you don’t have to do it alone. That’s the whole point of this, of us. After all, we are going to be a family now,” your voice dropped to a low hum.

A pang of nerves traversed his stomach. No, not a pang, more like… butterflies? Joel had not felt that―the purest form of ecstasy―in a long, long time. The idea of being a dad… it always called him, always felt like that was what he was meant to be, nothing else. Sarah had been the center of his world and while no one could ever change that for him, the possibility of having another child to shower with the love he had buried… it was so overwhelming it brought tears to his eyes, his breathing shallow.

“A family,” he repeated, voice raspy with emotion.

You nodded and laughed, teary eyes too.

“A family, Joel. You’re gonna be a dad,” you snickered, now sobbing.

He couldn’t help but join you, draping his arms around you to bring you against his chest.

He didn’t deserve you, your forgiveness. The second chance you were offering him, in all the senses. A second chance with you. A second chance to form a family. A second chance in life, really.

Joel cradled your flushed cheeks, tilting your face up so his mouth hovered over yours.

“I can’t believe my fucking luck, honestly. You, the mother of my child…” he didn’t finish the sentence because he would choke on his own words if so. Took a second to compose himself. “If I’m ever such a dick aga―”

“Are you planning on being a dick often, Joel Miller?” you said playfully with a cocked brow.

He laughed, feeling completely at ease.

“I hope not. But if I ever attempt to be, just kick me in the balls so I may come to my senses quicker, please,” he replied with a lopsided grin.

His thumbs caressed the apples of your cheeks before bowing down to kiss you. A slow, loving stroke of his tongue over yours and he felt everything was right again. Your sweet taste soothed him, his mind finally at ease. How you achieved that for him with the mere brush of your soft lips, he didn’t understand.

You were the one to break the kiss, pecking his lips a few times before finally taking a step back.

“Let’s go back inside, you must be freezing only with those sweatpants and a shirt.”

And with that, all the anxiety, the mental struggle, was forgotten.

Joel took your tiny hand in his broad one and led you back inside the cabin. Dried off his feet quickly before helping you out of your winterwear and settle back in in the sleeping bag ― his sleeping bag. Luckily it was big enough for the both of you.

You hugged each other, trying to get back to sleep, but both of your hearts were fluttering so hard, it was difficult to ignore the excitement.

“I’m so thrilled right now, I don’t think I can go to sleep just yet. I can’t believe this is happening,” you whispered with a beautiful grin.

Joel couldn’t help but notice how you were beaming now, how much worry you had carried the last couple of days because of him. He felt infinitely better now that the joyful spark had returned to your eyes.

Dragging his thumb across your jawline, tracing an invisible line on your soft skin, Joel tilted your face towards him, his heart swollen with love. He hadn’t felt this alive in ages.

“Neither can I,” he admitted in a rasp.

His right hand roamed your body under the sleeping bag until it found the perfect spot to rest: your belly. Joel splayed his fingers over your lower tummy protectively, wanting to shield you both from any harm.

You hovered one of your hands over his, your palm stroking the back of his hand in a light caress. It felt like such an intimate moment, a respite among all madness and darkness, that he knew he would treasure it forever. When days would become hard, he’d only have to think back to this exact moment in time ― both of you cocooned in a sleeping back, warm and loving, calm and happy.

Fuck, was he happy and grateful. It still felt like a dream, but this was real. You were real. Yes, he was fucking scared out of his mind too, but the joy he was feeling right now eclipsed everything else.

With rough lips, he coaxed yours apart, the tip of his tongue tentatively swiping your teeth so you would let him in ― the place where he felt most at home. And you happily complied with a subtle sigh. Your tongues curled around one another, your sultry taste and sweet scent overtaking all his senses.

Joel felt your hand dragging his downwards and only took him one second to catch on. Soon his fingers were buried under your panties, his hand cupping your mound possessively while his middle finger dipped in your slit ever so slightly to faintly stroke your hooded clit.

Just one stroke.

“Joel,” you cooed, and he inhaled your breathless plea.

“I know, baby,” he hummed back, gifting you with another light stroke.

Your thighs trembled around his hand, and you parted them involuntarily, your body telling him everything he needed to know.

So he obliged, his finger slipping from your clit to your crying hole, gathering the wetness on the tip to bring it back up to your sensitive nub. With languid touches, Joel paid precise attention to your bundle of nerves with his thumb, while his index and middle fingers rubbed your dripping furrow incessantly, his fingertips hitching in your entrance from time to time.

You gasped, chest heaving and back arched, when Joel finally dived those two fingers in your slick, warm entrance. He groaned at your responsiveness, your eagerness, always ready for him. He could never have enough of you; of that he was fucking sure.

Joel nipped your neck, his stubble tickling your skin, then lapped at it while the rhythm of his hand increased. He knew you loved it when he curled his fingers, stroking that heavenly spot that would drive you wild with lust.

Then he suddenly stilled and you grinded your wet pussy against his palm, desperate for release, your hips tilting underneath.

“Joel, please,” you begged in a whisper, your walls clenching around his digits.

“Please what, sweetheart?”

“I wanna come, please let me,” you pleaded with half-lidded, glassy eyes, melting under his touch.

“What a good girl, asking for permission,” he grazed your slack jaw with his bare teeth, then soothed the bite with a kiss. “No, not a good girl, a good momma, aren’t ya?” he corrected himself, his erection swelling at the thought. “Not yet, baby.”

He teased you a bit more, dragging the pleasure, letting it build and coil inside you the way he knew you liked it.

“F-fuck… Joel…” you moaned, his fingers still and deep buried inside you, your hole squeezing uncontrollably.

Your pleas worked, because soon enough Joel was fingering you relentlessly, pumping in and out of you fast ― your gushing cunt making obscene, squelching noises under the sleeping bag. Your moans grew louder as the pace between your thighs increased, your back so arched Joel feared you might break it.

“You can come now, baby,” he spoke softly, knowing you were holding back until you got his permission.

Then your walls furiously fluttered around his digits, choking and clamping and clutching. And Joel fucked you with his fingers through your orgasm, his thumb smothering your clit, applying the right amount of pressure. You keened, breathing heavy, as you came down from your climax, eyes shut and mouth agape.

Joel leaned to kiss you, his wet, pruney fingers still embedded in your leaking hole while your hand teasingly caressed his tummy, his muscles straining in anticipation.

“Feeling calmer?” he asked, the tip of his crooked nose nuzzling your ear as his fingers slid out with a pop.

“Mhmm, way calmer now,” you husked, tipping your face to trap his mouth with yours. “Let me help you relax too, gorgeous.”

A deep rumble coursed through his chest as your tiny fist dove and wrapped around his swollen girth, your thumb gently caressing the leaky head under his underwear.

He was ready just by working you, that was the power you held over him and Joel was fully aware of it. And he didn’t care one bit, he loved that you could get him hard just like that. It was lust, but it was love too; a deep, shared connection ― something he’d not felt before with anyone else.

You pumped him slow at first, your teeth scraping the skin over his Adam’s apple, then his jawline, until you hunted down his lips, swallowing his gruffy moans. Your playful hand stroked him faster, your fingers gripping harder, and he was close to losing his mind.

Then you licked his neck and nibbled his earlobe, and Joel had to summon all strength he could muster to not come there and then. You giggled at his intense reaction ― his muscles so tight he could snap at any moment, his breathing heavier and erratic.

Your hand imposed a devilish pace upon his throbbing cock, jerking him off fast and furious now, seeing how far you could take him before he broke. His balls felt tight and heavy, ready to spill his warm load on your hand.

Joel couldn’t stop groaning even if he fucking tried ― it had only been five days since the last time he fucked you, but those were too many days already. He pursed his lips together, eyebrows knitting in concentration to not come yet, while your mouth ghosted his. A few moans ended up slipping out and you breathed them in as you masturbated him with a tight grip.

And whatever cue he gave you, you knew he was close ― his orgasm imminent. Swiftly you dived your head under the sleeping bag and Joel lost sight of you. You freed his erection and a second later he felt your plump lips seal around his mushroom head.

His hands curled into tight fists, your little licks, taps and laps maddening. Then you suckled the swollen tip as if it was your personal pacifier.

“Holy fuck,” he huffed, shutting his eyes, as your wicked tongue commended him to come, your hand working his shaft dextrously.

Joel couldn’t hold it any longer. With a deep moan, he blew his sticky load in your mouth, and you drank eagerly from him. He felt your plush lips pecking his balls, then his column, and finally the tip, showing gratitude to his softening dick. Tucking his cock back into his underwear, you patted his bulge, gently, for a sweet second.

Then you popped your head out of the sleeping bag with a sinful grin, your thumb swiping across the corner of your mouth to gather a drop of his cum and guiding it back inside. Joel cupped your chin to bring your face closer to his.

“Thanks, baby. Always so thoughtful,” he joked before tasting himself on your tongue.

“Anytime,” you snickered.

You settled across his chest, warm bodies and calmer hearts, and a comfortable silence filled the room. Soon after that, you both fell into a peaceful slumber.

You woke up first, Joel’s arms draped around your shoulders in a solid hug, almost suffocating you. The first morning light filtered through the bare window, casting elongated shadows of the trees outside across the floorboards. Morning dew condensed on the windowpane, frozen like tiny, sparkly snowflakes. Some birds chirped, their melody pacifying. The whole scene was so tranquil, you didn’t want this moment to end.

Loafing about, you nuzzled Joel’s sternum, his thorax slowly rising, then coming down. His heart beat steadily too, so calming it almost lull you back to sleep. Something about Joel sleeping so profoundly made you feel at peace. Both of you had a very much needed rest after a tense couple of days.

You stroked the hairy trail down his belly button absentmindedly.

Joel grunted and stirred under you, his curved eyelashes fluttering a few times before his beautiful brown eyes stared at you. A boyish smile curled the corners of his lips before he closed his eyes again, hugging you closer. Joel buried his nose in your hair, then inhaled audibly.

“As much I’d love to stay here forever with you, I think we should get going,” you laughed, palming his chest.

He groaned, pinching the bridge of his aquiline nose. He wasn’t a morning person.

“Alright. I’ll get up just ‘cause you’re asking nicely,” he conceded, one hand reaching out of the sleeping bag to unzip it.

The cold air hit you both and you regretted your decisions, but if you wanted to find Tommy soon, you were not going to achieve that from this cabin, as idyllic as it felt to be here, in your bubble with Joel.

Half an hour later you were both up and fully awake. Joel was packing away the sleeping bags when he suddenly stopped.

“Fuck. You didn’t check on the battery last night, did you?” he asked, rubbing the back of his neck.

You bit down your bottom lip and shook your head no.

“Shit. No, I didn’t. I, well― got distracted,” you replied apologetically, a nervous chuckle slipping.

“You mean I distracted you, right?” the teasing edge to his voice made you smile. “Don’t worry, love, ‘s alright. I’ll go check on it before we go into town.”

Joel brought you in for a hug, his hands lacing on the small of your back. He brushed his lips against yours in a chaste kiss and you wanted to laugh so badly, you sniggered. This man, pretending to be so decent now.

“What’s so funny?” he enquired, a cocked brow, not letting you go of his embrace just yet.

“You being so gentlemanly and proper now with your decorous kissing, as if you didn’t make me come with just your fingers last night. As if I didn’t eat yo―” you jested bluntly, butterflies filling your belly.

Joel growled at your provocation, interrupting you, his hips flush with yours.

“That nasty mouth of yours is gonna be my downfall one of these days,” he muttered. Then he kissed you, his tongue quick and ravishing. “Enough. Stop being so damn tempting.”

He let go of you, taking a step back and turning around. You took the opportunity to smack his ass before he walked off with a smirk on his lips.

You stayed inside, gathering all the bits and stuffing them back in your backpacks. You were going to venture into Oswego today again, stake out the town and the area where Joel thought Tommy and his group would most probably be.

Shuffling through your belongings, you found the pregnancy test you took a few days ago. The digital screen was still displaying the positive result ― one you dreaded, but then embraced.

In the span of forty-eight hours, you thought your relationship with Joel had crumbled down and reduced to nothingness, to then come back stronger like a phoenix rising from its ashes.

The look on his face when he thought you were leaving him still haunted you ― you hoped he would forget that feeling sooner rather than later. His confession had tugged at your heart so much, you had forgiven him after the first sentence. But you had let him keep on talking, because the self-indulgent part of yourself wanted to hear him say all those things. It wasn’t often that Joel Miller would make use of his mouth to verbally express his feelings.

You smiled to yourself, tremendously happy with how the situation had turned out in the end.

Throwing your backpack over your shoulders and Joel’s hanging from one arm, you walked outside with the pregnancy still on your hand, daydreaming ― your grin now permanently sculpted into your features.

Then you heard a voice you quickly recognised.

Tommy’s.

You froze halfway through the three steps on the porch, your gaze scanning the area until you found them.

Joel had a very schooled expression, almost blank, while Tommy frowned, gripping a shotgun close to his chest.

“You’ve been following me?” the younger Miller asked, visibly upset.

“Yes, we have, you dickhead,” Joel replied, his voice restrained. “You just left a―”

“We?” Tommy scoffed, taking a step back. “You’ve not ditched her body yet?”

Joel’s hazel eyes found yours, still glued to the steps. A silent plea for you to go back inside, sensing this would not end well. And you tried ― you took a step back to run back into the cabin, but Tommy was quicker.

Tommy turned around and almost jumped back as if he had seen a ghost. Probably because he thought he had.

You raised your hands up, showing him you were no threat.

“Hey, Tommy,” you greeted him with a feeble smile. “If you keep pointing that gun at me, I’m gonna start thinking it’s personal,” you joked to diffuse the situation.

“Tommy,” Joel’s firm voice made his brother looked at him askance, his pupils fixed right back on you. “Hey.”

Joel’s fingers wrapped around the barrel, pushing it down so it wouldn’t point at you anymore. You could see Tommy’s stiffness from the distance, ready to do whatever it was necessary.

When Joel yanked at the shotgun, Tommy broke eye contact with you to stare at his brother, not letting go of the shotgun.

“How’s she alive?”

“It’s a long story, bu―”

“She’s fucking infected. You’re fucking infected!” he screamed in a panic, stumbling back with his own feet and then directing the gun back at you.

Joel tried to approach him while you stayed as still as possible, your breathing hitching. Would he shoot? You hoped not, but he looked scared enough to do so.

“Tommy, listen to me―” Joel attempted to talk to him again.

“What’s that you’re holding?” Tommy snapped at you, ignoring his brother.

You paled. You had forgotten the pregnancy test was on your hand, lost as you were in your train of thought when you had walked out of the cabin.

No words left your mouth ― your orbs quickly found Joel’s. Both of you, frightened to death. Not for yourselves, but for your baby.

Tommy wouldn’t hurt you, would he? Unconsciously, your free hand dropped to your belly, wanting to protect this new life you were harbouring, growing.

Tommy’s façade fell, his jaw slack.

“You’re PREGNANT?!”

Joel reacted first, standing in the way, the barrel kissing the center of his chest. Then he pushed Tommy back, his composed expression gone. He was angry, you could tell. Really angry. You had only seen him that irate the night those two men almost raped you.

“If you ever point that gun at her again, I swear to fucking God, I’ll kill you myself with my bare hands, Tommy,” he growled.

Tommy blinked rapidly, his resolution coming back as he cocked the gun again.

“You both have lost your fucking minds,” Tommy scoffed, walking backwards towards the woods. “Don’t follow me anymore. Leave me the fuck alone.”

A minute after, the younger brother disappeared between the trees and Joel rushed to your side, his anger transforming into urgency.

“We gotta go.”

His words were impregnated with the same panic you were feeling.

Unbelievable, Tommy thought.

Had his brother gone mad? What the fuck was he thinking? And how were you alive? What kind of sinister magic was that?

He had so many unanswered questions, his head throbbed with an impending headache. Tommy needed the distance and the time to think this through. At first, he had been elated at seeing his brother after so long, but the excitement quickly shifted the moment he saw Joel accompanied by you. And fucking pregnant, by the looks of it.

Shaking his head, Tommy hooted like an owl, letting the people keeping watch know that he was approaching the two houses they all had been living in. The two buildings were on the forest boundary, far enough of other homes but close enough to town.

Bursting in through the doors, Laney met him in the corridor, hands on hips.

“So?”

“They are here. And what’s worst, she’s alive and pregnant,” Tommy almost spit the last word out.

Laney’s scowl deepened.

“Pregnant? Like, with a fucking zombie-like monster growing inside of her?”

The emphasis on that specific word made Tommy frown. He wouldn’t go as far as to say that. Laney could be a little dramatic sometimes.

“Well, I don’t know. No, I don’t think so? I mean, she looked fine, so I guess―” Laney walked past him, interrupting what he was saying. “Where are you going?”

“On patrol. Need to go into town for some supplies.”

“Need a hand?”

“No. Stay here, keep watch.”

And with that, she stepped out and closed the door behind her, leaving Tommy in the middle of the hallway with a nagging doubt picking at the back of his brain.

@yesjazzywazzylove-blog @pedrospurplerain @missladym1981 @fancyyoouu

@smolbeanzzz @guelyury @bishtrouille @harriedandharassed

@thepalaceofmelanie @eternallyvenus @theoraekenslover @vickie5446

[sweetenerobert]

𝐄𝐍𝐉𝐎𝐘 𝐓𝐇𝐄 𝐒𝐇𝐎𝐖

DAY FOUR OF HAUNTED HOEDOWN

oberyn martell x male!reader

genre: enemies to lovers, MINORS DNI, modern au

prompt: cuckhold au + "i can't stop thinking about how perfect we would be together." "crawl to me"

summary: trying to think of ways to get back at your boyfriend for cheating on you; the result is you having sex with your nemesis, oberyn martell, in front of him

warnings: infidelity, cocky!oberyn, breeding kink, dirty talking, fingering, edging, mild praising kink, male masturbation, use of a vibrator, unprotected p in a, oral sex, spitting, handjob, cuckolding kink! (forced cuckholding ;)), no use of y/n

word count: 5.0k

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a/n: dividers by @saradika

a/n: I FORGOT ABOUT THIS! SORRY THIS TOOK FOREVER! SCHOOL TOOK OVER MY LIFE, consider this a Christmas gift, that's been in my drafts for months

The noises played in your head like a neverending record. The moans, the yelps. The squeaking, your boyfriend’s voice – all those noises played in your head. You came home early from work, noticed your boyfriend was also home, and didn’t think of it. That’s when you went upstairs and made a dreadful discovery. You saw your boyfriend fucking someone else – a woman, in your bed. And you hated yourself that you stayed at your door, knowing that it would make your stomach churn and twist with each moan escaping her lips.

You’d left right before your boyfriend had cum – not wanting to bear with that, you went and acted like you weren’t there. You had driven to your favorite coffee shop and ordered a coffee, and you’d been sitting next to the large floor-to-ceiling window ever since. You often kept glancing at other people and noticing groups of friends and couples, and you wanted to cry; seeing the couples reminded you a lot of you and your boyfriend until your gaze landed on Oberyn Martell.

You and Oberyn weren’t the closest bunch – you practically despised him, and he enjoyed making your life hell on earth at work. The both of you worked together, and you loved your job but despised Oberyn – and hated that stupid nickname he gave you: Dove.

You drove your gaze back to the window, hoping he didn’t see you. Your curiosity got the best of you as you slowly glanced toward Oberyn’s position, and you saw him glancing at you – quickly looking back at the window, shaking your leg, hoping he didn’t see you.

Once you heard a chair screech in front of you, you knew it was undeniably Oberyn sitting in front of you. You could feel his penetrable gaze traveling on you. This feeling of sadness turned into a feeling of annoyance, and you were ready to thrash at Oberyn.

You could hear an exhale escape Oberyn’s lips, and you just wanted to bash his skull in with the coffee mug in front of you. “Hey, Dove, fancy meeting you in a place like this.”

“Fuck off,” You spat.

Oberyn whistles. “Feisty, aren’t we, dove?”

“I’m not in the mood to play Oberyn. I’ve had a rough day,” You announced.

Obeyn crosses his leg to rest on his other leg as he studies you. He could see your face written with distress and sadness written all over it. Something had made you look the way you did, and he didn't know about it.

“What’s wrong, Dove?”

“You, you're bothering me when I want to be alone,” You exclaimed loudly. Noticing people had turned their heads, looking back at you and Oberyn.

“Please, just leave me alone.”

Oberyn had a scowl slowly coming on his face; his jaw had tightened. You’ve never seen Oberyn mad before — he’d enjoy making you annoyed, but you’ve never really been angry.

“What happened.” it came out more of a statement from Oberyn than a question — a command more than concern.

“And you care because?” You question, turning your head to him.

“Anything that makes my dove mad doesn't deserve to live.” His tone made a chill travel down your spine, and your heart stop for a split second. You didn't want to answer him. If anything, you wanted Oberyn to leave and forget he ever saw you here. But, you knew he was persistent, and he wouldn't go anytime soon unless you told him what happened.

“It’s been like ten minutes, and I’m already going to tell the person I hate the most my business,” You huff a breath as you rub your hand across your forehead.

You slide your hand from your forehead — connecting with your thigh, making a twahp sound on impact.

“I’ve been having a rough afternoon,” You shrug. “Came home to find the supposed love of my life, fucking some woman, and you know what sucks? I stayed.” Oberyn looks shocked by your statement but doesn’t show it. “Yeah, I stayed and listened to everything. Did I get off on it? Hell no. I hated everything. I left before it could get any worse.”

You intertwine your fingers — a knuckle placed on the tip of your nose. A sniffle escapes your nose, reminding yourself of the terrible events that happened minutes prior. Your tear ducts felt heavy, and your nose felt congested. A tear slid down your cheek as you placed your palms on the table, and your head felt heavy.

Glancing at the wooden table, you felt your head get picked up — seeing Oberyn's finger pick your head, and you could see the concern on his face; his thumb wipes the tear slowly crawling down your face.

"Dove, you shouldn't cry over someone like that. You shouldn't cry at all. You're too perfect.” “Oberyn smirks, caressing your cheek. You slowly push Oberyn’s hand away from you and glance at the window again, trying to avoid any eye contact with Oberyn.

“Dove, look at me.”

You shook your head like a stubborn child. “Dove, I need you to look at me so you can listen to what I will say.”

“I can listen to you like this.” You shrug.

Oberyn was getting annoyed now — which would’ve been the first time, only if you saw his face. Oberyn fixes his legs to be next to each other and outstretches one of them to reach you. His foot made contact with your crotch — rubbing his foot along the print in your pants. You yelped in retaliation — looking at Oberyn. “What are you doing?”

“Getting your attention, and now that I have it. I need to ask you something.” Oberyn states, placing his legs in their original position.

You cross your arms and huff a breath. “What?”

“What are you going to do?”

“What do you mean?”

“I mean, he obviously can't get away with this.”

“What exactly am I supposed to do?” You question.

“I don't know, kick him out?” You shrug. “It's the only thing I can think of.”

“That’s all?” Oberyn questions.

“You can come up with the most creative insults you can throw at me, but when it comes to your scumbag boyfriend, you’re fucked?”

“Well, what do you have in mind, evil genius?”

“I’ve heard the best way to get over someone is to get under someone,” Oberyn smirks.

You shoot an eyebrow up and look at Oberyn with an annoyed look.

“Is that what you want me to do? Sleep with someone to get back at him? What is this, high school?”

“Not just anyone.”

“Then, who do you suggest?” You shrug and cross your arms.

Oberyn points at himself with a smug look on his face. You look at him with an annoyed look on your face. “Please tell me you’re kidding,” You spat.

“C’mom, I’m the best option.”

“Ethan, the homeless guy down the street, is a better option than you.”

“You know me—” Oberyn started.

“I despise you — and I hear the stories about you; you're a player — a playboy. I shouldn't get involved with someone like that.”

You’ve been aware of Oberyn’s “activities” for a while, ever since one of your Co-workers ranted about him to you — one of the many reasons you hate him. He was known for leaving people hanging after quote, “giving them the night of their life.” It frankly made you want to barf hearing anything involving having sex with Oberyn.

“Look, you’re one of the last people I want to hurt, but I want to see this scumbag crumble, knowing he lost someone as perfect as you.” Oberyn started.

You couldn't tell if he was messing with you or being genuinely serious, but all you knew was heat rose to your face.

“But, I promise. I won't hurt you. I want to see your ex suffer a little bit.”

“You promise this will work?” You question.

Oberyn places a hand over his heart. “Cross my heart, and hope to die.”

“Hopefully,” You scoff.

“But, you have to give me a week.”

“Give you a week for what?” You asked.

“Ah Ah Ah, it's a surprise,” Oberyn smirks.

“I hate surprises,” You grumble, crossing your arms.

“C’mom dove. You’ll like this one.”

“One week,” you firmly spoke. “That’s all I’m giving you.”

“Splendid, That’s all I need, dove,” Oberyn winks.

You essentially had to act like you still loved your ex-boyfriend: every talk, every hug, every kiss, and every interaction you had, you had to pretend like you cared. When, in reality, you wanted nothing to do with him.

And Oberyn was being more secretive than his usual outgoing personality. It often made your skin cold thinking about it. Oberyn was never closed off or reserved — always outgoing even when work needed to be accomplished; he always had time to talk or flirt with someone.

The end of the week had come faster than expected. It made you uneasy but also ready for anything. You heard a knock on your door while pacing — waiting for Oberyn. Your breathing became rushed and nervous.

As you opened the door, an exhale became longer than you expected. Seeing Oberyn wearing a long chestnut-colored lapel coat.

"Surprised to see me, dove?"

"Yes, I thought my "boyfriend" came home earlier than expected," You breathed.

"If I had a dollar for every time I heard that —" Oberyn started.

"Oberyn," You insisted.

"Kidding, can't take a joke, can you, dove?"

You step to the side to let Oberyn in. He walks in, and you close the door behind him. "I'm about to trust you with something so vulnerable about myself, so no, I can't take a joke."

Oberyn turns to look at you and rests his hands on your shoulders. "Dove, with me, you don't have to be afraid. Your body's a temple that I'm going to respect. Don't be scared."

"What do you think I'm going to do to you?" Oberyn questions, taking his hands off your shoulders and on his hips.

You took a breath, looked at the floor, and then up at Oberyn. "With him, he treated sex like a mission to complete — a side quest before returning to the main story. But with that girl, it was like she was something important, and I don't want to feel that way again." you find yourself looking back at the floor, a tear building in your tear duct.

Oberyn lifts your chin with his finger and plants his lips on top of yours. The kiss was soft, and the feeling of Oberyn's lips on yours made your body fire up — a feeling you've never felt with your boyfriend. Backing his head from yours — finger still on your chin, a smirk on his face. "Too stunned for words, dove?"

You push his hand off your chin. "No!" You exclaim, a wave of heat rushing to your face. "You don't have that power over me."

This rush of energy was coursing through your body like a drug; you yearned for more of it.

“So, where is the bedroom, sweetheart?” Oberyn asks.

You don't answer his question and walk towards your room. Opening your room door and seeing the bed made your anger boil — for the moment. Your boyfriend made it, and you find it as a sign that everything is normal — when, in reality, it isn't.

“Quaint, your boyfriend got a drawer?”

You point the nightstand next to the bed. Oberyn takes his jacket off and places it on the foot of the bed. He drops to his knees in front of the nightstand and opens the top drawer.

“What are you doing?” You question.

“All cheating assholes have something to hide. You aren't the least bit curious?”

“No, why would I be—” You start; as you thought about it, you somehow found yourself on your knees next to Oberyn. “I get top, you get bottom.” You state.

“I’m usually the top, but you know, there is a first time for everything.”

“I will punch you in the face if you keep these innuendos up.”

Oberyn laughs as you shove him. “Let’s get to searching.”

You open the top drawer, trying to find anything. After pushing things around, you found nothing worth explaining, closing the top drawer and looking at Oberyn. “Your turn,” You shrug.

Opening the bottom drawer, you back up and stand up to your feet, lying on the wall far away from him. Your eyes travel to see Oberyn bending down and his pants accentuating his rear end. You were tempted to whistle and compliment Oberyn.

“You like what you see, Dove?”

“It’s not the worst thing I’ve ever seen,” You admit.

“It's a nice ass, thanks for noticing,” Oberyn smiles.

“It’s a little hard not to notice. Is that what girls from the office are after from you?” You question.

“Girls and guys,” Oberyn corrects. “I’m not a manwhore for just girls, Dove.”

“Well, I didn't know that,” You shrug.

“A lot of people don't know I swing for both teams.”

“You learn something new every day,” You mutter.

A thud made you look at Oberyn as he pulled a box out of the drawer. You question the image you see on the box as Oberyn just sneers. “Is that a—?”

“A vibrator? Yes, Dove. It is,” Oberyn nods.

“Why would he have—?”

“Oh shit. Do you think my ex’s used it on that girl?”

Oberyn shakes his head. “The tape’s still on it. Meaning: hasn't been opened, or he’s waiting to use it.”

Hearing that a vibrator hidden in your ex’s nightstand drawer hasn't been used was a huge relief for you in a certain way. Oberyn holds the box as he has an idea and then looks at you. “Should we use it?” Oberyn asks.

“What? I wouldn’t even know what to do with that.”

“Let me do all the work, Dove.”

“What would you even do?” You state, crossing your arms.

“That’s a surprise, but first,” Oberyn States, walking towards you. “I need you to get on your knees.”

To say you were shocked was an understatement. Your eyes wanted to pop out of your head after hearing those four words. ‘get on your knees.’ Something about hearing those words made you want to fumble on your words but be mad at the same time.

“Make me,” You smirk.

Oberyn smashes his lips against yours in a hungry kiss — surprising you. Your teeth almost clash, his tongue exploring your mouth as his hand slowly trails down your chest to your bulge. It felt hard under Oberyn’s palm — betraying your hatred for him and weakening your knees.

Your knees dented the wood under you as you broke the kiss. You see Oberyn smirking and walking to the foot of your bed — placing the box on the mattress. Seeing him slip his shoes off, hearing his belt unbuckle being undone, and seeing his pants slide off. You notice that Oberyn wasn't wearing any underwear. Your face would've exploded if you didn't contain yourself.

Seeing Oberyn's cock made you feel like you were in an out-of-body experience. It felt like you were shocked but didn't show it. Watching Oberyn sit at the edge of your bed, wags his pointer finger towards you — arching his finger towards him.

"Crawl to me," Oberyn commanded.

Your body had a mind as you placed your hands on the floor and slowly crawled toward Oberyn. A more giant smirk appeared on Oberyn's face as he saw you crawl closer to him. "Such a good boy, dove," Oberyn muttered.

Your face was close to Oberyn's shaft — covering your face. You wanted to make Oberyn shiver, make him feel a way you've never seen him before. Placing your tongue on his shaft, bringing your tongue to his tip and back to your mouth.

You watch Oberyn release a breath — sounding like a whistle. "Such a tease, dove."

You hoist yourself off your hands and look at Oberyn — winking at him before you take the tip of his cock in your mouth, quickly retracting away from him. Watching his hips buckle forward, you can't help but sneer. "Desperate for my mouth, Oberyn?"

"You know what you're doing, dove. It's written all over your face," Oberyn grumbled. "So why don't you do something about it," Your question sounded more of a sarcastic comment. Oberyn takes notice of that. Tracing his hand on your cheek — thumb trailing your bottom lip. "We're going to whip that attitude of yours into shape."

Holding your face, Oberyn leads your mouth towards his cock. A long exhale leaves his lips as your mouth goes down his shaft — agonizing slowly. You pick your head up as you bring your hand to the base of Oberyn’s cock and start stroking his dick as you bring your head up and down.

Oberyn leaned on his elbows and enjoyed the pleasure your mouth brought him. Apart from Oberyn being secretive for the past week. He hadn’t jerked off and slept with anyone, so the build-up of cum had been stored in his balls for the week, and Oberyn was ready to burst.

“Baby, you're so fucking perfect. I don't know what is wrong with that dumb ass.”

Removing your hands, you start to go down deeper on Oberyn’s cock as you feel the tip of his cock hit the back of your throat. Clenching his teeth together, his moans escaping his throat — through his teeth like water.

“Baby— Ah— your mouth has a grip. I could cum fucking your face right here.”

“Why don't you then?” You ask, stroking his cock. You have a one-sided grin on your face. With inhuman speed, Oberyn picks you up to your feet — planting his lips on yours as your hands find the back of his neck. The hatred between you and Oberyn vanished in this moment. His hands explored your body as he touched your pants button — undoing them and sliding your pants past your feet. “Get on the bed, Dove.”

You complied with Oberyn. Your bare knees make contact with the mattress; you watch Oberyn grab the vibrator and take it out of its package. He held the device in his hand, hitting the button. Oberyn watched it vibrate in his hand.

“Asshole already put the batteries in. Bad for him, good for us.” Oberyn crawls after you, his face close to your cock. It twitches against his breath against it. “Has he made you cum before, dove?”

You reluctantly shake your head. "Like I said, there is a first time for everything," Oberyn snickers as he lowers the vibrator on your cock. Once you made contact, your eyes snapped shut, and you arched your back and fists towards you. Oberyn places a firm palm on your navel, forcing you to stop moving. "No squirming, dove." His firm demeanor sent shivers down your spine and made your cock twitch in anticipation of what was coming.

You heard your front door close, and your eyes snapped open. You attempted to move, but Obeyrn's hand on your navel prevented you from getting up. "Ah, Ah, Ah, dove. Where do you think you're going?" "He's back. We should stop." Oberyn looked at you with annoyance. "Do you think that asswipe cared whenever you came home?"

"But, Oberyn —"

"Let me make you feel a way you haven't experienced before."

Your breathing hitched as you looked at Oberyn. "How would you make me feel?" You gritted. "Happy, loved, wanted, cared for, everything someone as perfect as you should experience."

You calmed yourself — eyes drawn away from the door and closed. Feeling yourself grip the sheets — your moans intertwining together with your breathing. You felt as if you were about to cum, and that's when you heard your bedroom door squeal open.

“What the actual fuck is going on?” You heard Issac, your “boyfriend’s” bellowing voice. You kept your eyes shut so you didn't see Oberyn turn his head.

“Ah, just the guy I’ve been wanting to see. How are you doing?” Oberyn asks. In your head, you were laughing, but in reality, you were trying so hard not to cum right now.

“How am I doing?” Issac repeats. “How do you think I feel seeing some guy — pantsless next to my boyfriend’s dick?”

Hearing Issac emphasize that he’s your boyfriend made you want to punch him in the face; you would’ve — if your legs didn't feel like jelly. Spiritually Oberyn could feel your anger rising to your cock as it shifted for a split second.

“I don't know, dove, how should your cheating-asshole boyfriend feel knowing you're feeling more pleasure than ever before?” Oberyn smirked.

“Cheating? DOVE?” Issac exclaimed. You could see Issac’s eyes pop out in your head, and when you heard his tone.

“He -hould feel fucking dumb,” You gritted. You brought your arms resting above your head as you felt yourself about to cum any second.

“I should beat your ass for putting dumb thoughts in my boyfriend's head, man — and overall being anywhere near him.”

“But you’re not.”

“And why is that?” Issac asks, cocky.

“Because you’re going to go through my jacket and see the Manila folder and its contents inside, you're going to sit yourself down in that seat in the corner and watch me fuck the hell out of your boyfriend and cum deep inside him that I get him pregnant.”

You slowly open your eyes and see Oberyn smirking at you and Issac looking shell-shocked by what he just heard. And being honest, you were shocked yourself.

“I would do what he says. He can be pretty convincing,” You breathe. Oberyn smirks.

You turn your head — eyes strained from closing them. Issac rummages through Oberyn’s coat and sees the Manila folder he quietly dreaded. Sitting in the corner, he opened it, and the look on his face made it seem he got caught in a big lie. “Do you want to tell him, or should I? I don't mind either,” Oberyn shrugs.

“How did you get these?” Issac seethed.

“Okay,” Oberyn starts, ignoring the question. “Dove, what he’s looking at are photographs of himself and the girl he’s been cheating on you with — going on dates, going out, the whole nine yards.”

You wanted to scream, but the pleasure Oberyn delivered you on a silver platter brought you into overdrive, so you stayed mute.

“Fuck, Obeyrn. Your intense,” You spoke between clenched teeth.

“You close, baby?”

You nod. “I’m about to cum,” You exclaimed.

Your body wanted to give way, just to feel the immense pleasure you've yearned for.

Until Oberyn retracted the vibrator away from you, you looked like a deer in headlights while Oberyn had a shit-eating grin on his face. “W-what are you doing?”

Oberyn shrugs and looks at you. “Making you squirm.” His hands are firm against your inner thighs — feeling his nails press into you, his mouth slips onto your cock, and you arch your back in satisfaction. With Oberyn's mouth going slow on your cock, a rush came through your entire body. On the brink of cumming -- Oberyn cupping your balls in his hand, you wanted your cum to shoot down his throat.

Bearing your teeth, you grip the sheets again, glancing at Issac. He was pissed, but that made you want to cum even harder. "Hurt, doesn't it? Watching the love of your life enjoy someone else."

"Baby, it didn't mean--"

"Save it," You sucked in a breath. "Save it for someone who cares."

"Fuck, Oberyn. I'm close."

Oberyn takes his mouth off your cock; you watch your cock twitch on your navel, seeing precum leak from the tip. "Can I please cum, Oberyn? Please, it feels so good." You beg.

Oberyn shakes his head. "Not yet, baby.” Oberyn looks around and sees the look of despair written on Issac’s face — Oberyn’s cock twitching in retaliation. “Don’t be sad, Issac. Come on, sit right next to your boyfriend, and you’ll feel all better,” Oberyn smirked.

“Fuck off,” Issac spat.

Oberyn sucks in an inhale through his teeth and tsks at Issac. “Come on, don't be a poor sport; go ahead,” Oberyn nods to the open spot.

Issac reluctantly gets up and sits next to you. The look on his face read anger but was hidden by despair underneath it all. He was mad at you and Oberyn but angry and sad at himself.

“Come on, we don't have to do this. I mean, you already made your point with this whole “show” you’re putting on,” Issac argues.

“Oh, then I must haven't made it more explicit,” Oberyn nods.

Oberyn slides the tip of his cock slowly inside you. A sharp exhale. “Fuck, Oberyn. You could’ve warned me,” You groaned.

“Where’s the fun in that?”

Your hands dig into Oberyn’s shoulders, making crescent moons etched onto his skin. His thrusts start slow and gradually pick up the pace. Your moans bounce off your bedroom walls. “You like hearing those moans, Issac? Having to hear them off someone else cock?” Oberyn breathes.

Issac can't help but stare at your face with each pump Oberyn was pushing into you. He knows that enjoying each thrust Oberyn delivers. Issac couldn’t tell if he was pissed off or sad at the moment.

“C’mon, you love that cock, don't you, Dove.” Oberyn grunts.

You nod, snapping your eyes shut again. “Fuck, Yes. I love it so much, You whine.

“Your cock is so fucking amazing.”

“That’s it, dove.”

“You see, Issac, this is how you treat art. You treat it with the love and respect it deserves.”

Hearing Oberyn refer to you as art made your cock dribble with precum. Inhaling a breath through your teeth. Oberyn’s hips quicken, and you can't help but snap your eyes open.

“Ugh! Fuck! Oberyn! You’re so fucking big.”

You couldn't if you said that to praise Oberyn or piss off Issav, but overall, you were stating the truth. You haven't felt this good during sex in such a long time. Oberyn loved the moans, the yelps, and the cries that escaped your mouth.

Oberyn’s hands slide on your cheek as he trails your bottom lip with his thumb. Looking into your eyes, he plants his lips onto yours as his thrusts start to slow down, and your nostrils breathe out air of relief.

As Oberyn backs up from your face, he looks up to Issac, seeing the sadness ride his face but then quickly to anger as he sees Oberyn’s face staring at him.

“Dove,” Oberyn breathes, backing his hips from you. “Turn around for me, I want to see that perfect ass.”

You happily obliged as you got on all fours, your feet dangling off the edge of the bed. His cock pressed up into your ass, but you could also feel it lift off of you. Oberyn spits again, and this time you don't pay any attention to it until you feel Oberyn’s cock gently glide in. You take a long, deep breath in.

“Damn, dove, I can barely fit it in,” Oberyn growled. “You’re so fucking tight.”

Oberyn’s cock was slowly and brutally stretching you out, relishing every inch of your insides. Oberyn’s thrust began slowly as his thighs slammed into your ass, but his hips had other ideas. Oberyn’s gradual thrusts grew more intense, yet you were smitten with the whole thing. Your moans would not stay on your lips, and as you advanced, Oberyn’s cock would slip out of you with every clap.

“Fuck, you’re intense, Oberyn,” You breathe.

“You haven't seen nothing yet, dove.” Oberyn teases you by sliding his cock between your ass cheeks. "You want this dick... right, dove?" Oberyn sneers, looking at Issac.

“You want your worst enemy to get you pregnant?”

You nod your head, almost begging for Oberyn to fuck you. “Yes, I do.” Oberyn notices your begging tone as he shrugs his shoulders and slides his cock inside you.

Oberyn’s thrusts get hotter, more powerful, and more animalistic. It was like something that you never experienced in ever. Your enemy making you feel this way and letting you enjoy the moment with him was something you didn't know you needed.

"I can't stop thinking about how perfect we would be together,” Oberyn grunts, glancing at Isaac shooting a wink.

"Damn, Oberyn. I'm about to cum,” You ignored Oberyn’s statement.

"Cum for me, dove," it sounded like a command more than a statement. Your cock throbs, and you exclaim your moans as stings of cum hit the sheets below you.

“Fuck, Dove. I’m going to cum,” Oberyn gritted his teeth. As Oberyn’s hips keep going back and forth into you, you grip the sheets under you as you hear Oberyn’s sudden groans and feel his cum swim inside you.

“See, that’s how you treat someone as amazing as dove here.”

“I see you enjoyed your little show so why don't we —”

“Get out,” You breathe.

“What?” Issac questions.

“I want you out of my house, all your shit gone by Thursday. I never want to see you again,” You state.

Issac can't believe what he’s hearing even though he was expecting it, as he expected a slap to the face. “Where— where will I go?”

“I don't fucking care, anywhere but here.”

Issac suddenly stands up, Manila folder in his hand, and storms out of your bedroom, slamming the door.

“You okay, dove?”

You nod. “I feel great. Thank you.”

Oberyn brings his palm to his chest and acts fake shocked. “Did you just say thank you to me?”

“Don’t make me regret it,” You snapped.

Even though you were both covered in sweat, Oberyn couldn't get enough of you when his lips connected with yours, his tongue slipping into your mouth as his hand hooks under your arm onto your chest.

“You are the best sex I’ve ever had,” Oberyn admitted.

“That needs to be on a shirt; I need that in recording.”

“You’re suchan oddity.”

“You love it,” You smile.

“Yeah, I do.”

[jasonshousewife]

I love a toxic relationship with Jason. him being super jealous and possessive is so sexy to me... he has to fuck you by telling you that you are his, and only his. He'll cry, afraid you'll leave him and you'll hug him saying no. Jeezzz like... FUCK It might be weird, but I love the fact that Jason cries

😭 🤝 ANON YOU AND ME BOTH

toxic relationship jason todd x reader is my new obsession lmao

Warning: Including secual content

tbh i'm not really a big fan of jealous type but Jason is always an exception!!! He should be jealous and posessive like you're the one thing he never wants to lose in his life that he gets so frustrated when he sees you with someone else! He hates to share, he easily gets angry, he tries to control you even though he knows it's wrong. He needs you for his own comfort and peace and he doesn't know how to stop loving you so he begs you not to leave...

I like when he's your ex but still thinks of you as his. He knows you'll come back to him. You have to, that's what's righteous. He wants you in his arms. He needs your lips around his cock. He needs you screaming his name under him.

And you always end up in the backseat of his car or in his bed, the familiar feeling of letting him in again after you swore you're done with him. But god he's so hot and his lips on your neck makes you forget everything. He's whispering sweet nothings in your ears and taking your clothes off slowly.

When he's got you exactly where he wants you, he doesn't miss the opportunity to fuck you deep and slow. He thrusts in slowly, stretching you out. You're biting down on your lips to keep the moans from escaping your lips, but he wants to hear you crying out his name. When he feels you getting closer and closer, he withdraws and rests his cock on your wet pussy. He doesn't let you come until you swear to him you're his and beg him to keep going.

"Fuck, Jason.... Please..."

He hears your needy cries and he pushes his cock deep inside and lock it there. He feels you tightening around him as you come and lets out a satisfied sigh. He wants to keep you here forever, a beautiful mess under him. Not a part of your body he hasn't touched or claimed.

toxic jason todd nation we rise!!!

[k5ashe]

promising forever

I broke up with my boyfriend so time for some angst

She stayed quiet for a while, thinking. Then it hit her, and she sighed

"I can hide. We don't have to break up."

For the first time in a long time, he hesitates.

"Hide? What do you mean? Hide where? How?"

He takes a step closer to her, studying her expression. His gray eyes betray a mixture of frustration and a hint of sadness.

"This is because of those men, right? You think they will come after me." She spoke, looking at him with a nervous expression.

"Of course it's those fucking Dragons!" He snaps, his frustration evident. "If those bastards find out about you, they'll do anything to screw with me using you. I'm not going to let them hurt you." He runs his hand through his hair, sighing deeply as he lowers his eyes. "You don't know what they are capable of. Trust me, please. You don't want to be involved in all of this."

"I'll wait. I'll wait for you." She said, grabbing his coat, pulling him closer to her trembling form. ''I'll wait, so--.. Don't break up with me. Please.''

God-fucking-damnit, he can never say no. He's not strong enough. He looks at you for a long moment, searching for the strength to push you away.

"...I-" his voice catches, the words dying in his throat as he tries to break your hopes, but his arms, moving on his own, wrap around you in a tight embrace."No. You can't. Please. You deserve better than me."

He murmurs as he holds you against his chest, one hand caressing your hair. "You're so sweet and innocent. I am darkness and violence. I live for fighting, for the chase. You deserve someone better than me. Someone who can love you truly. Who can give you a safe life. I can't do that for you. You know I can't."

"I'll die without you". She screamed, voice trembling. "Please don't leave me. I'll wait-.. So please."

There are few things in the world more painful for him than seeing you cry. His heart feels like it's been stabbed as a tight knot forms in his chest. His eyes are also glassy with tears, but he doesn't shed them. Him, being an extremely stoic and closed-off man, would rather cut open his veins than show his tears. It's a weakness he refuses to show.

"Love. Lov-" he whispers, his voice strained, his fingers digging into your waist. He shakes his head, swallowing hard. His heart is breaking, he's unable to see you cry. Unable to hear you beg. He's is losing his composure as the knot in his chest tightens further. He wants to fight it, fight his feelings, but he cannot. His arms tighten around you.

"Alright. Please, please stop crying. I won't." He whispers in a cracked voice, pressing your face against his chest. "I won't break up, my love. I'm here, I-I'm here." His voice falters, barely audible. "I'm so sorry," he whispers, his voice low as he presses a kiss to the top of your head. His fingers press into your skin, needing to feel you close. To have you near.

His eyes are closed, tears welling up and he hates himself for being so weak. "I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry." He can hear his father's disapproving voice in his head, telling him that he shouldn't be crying. That he should be strong. That a man should never cry.

Without a word, she sat beside him and placed a hand on his back. He flinched slightly at the contact but didn’t pull away. She began rubbing slow, soothing circles, waiting for him to speak, but he stayed silent.

“Hey,” she said gently, her voice a soft melody in the silence. “It’s okay. Whatever it is, you don’t have to face it alone.”

He shook his head, his hands dropping to his lap as he wiped at his eyes hastily. “I shouldn’t be like this,” he said, his voice raw and barely audible. She knelt in front of him, her hands gently cupping his tear-streaked face. Her voice trembled, raw with emotion, but her words were steady.

“I’ll wait, okay?” she whispered, pressing a tender kiss to his forehead. Her lips lingered there, as though trying to pour all her strength into him. “For days. Months. Years. I don’t care how long it takes—I'll be here, waiting for you to find your way back.”

She pulled back just enough to look into his eyes, her gaze fierce, unwavering. “But don’t you dare die on me. Don’t even think about it. I swear, if you try to leave me, I’ll follow you. To the ends of the earth, to the edge of whatever comes after this life—I’ll chase you, and I’ll bring you back.” Her voice cracked, but her grip on his face tightened. “You can’t escape me. You don’t get to leave me here, not like this. Not ever.”

[aajjks]

Debt (m)

synopsis. you’re so unlucky that he’s lucky.

warnings. yändērē, sädïstïc bëhävïöür, öbsëssîvë thoughts, öbsëssïön, hê ïs sö ËVÏL, ünhëälthy rëlätïönshïp, yändêrê jk 10x, mäfïä köök, mëntïöns öf kïdnäppïng.

note. HAPPY KNJ DAY! send asks? ENJOY!

“Aren’t you tired of fucking crying all the damn time?”

His words pierce you, how can he be so insensitive to you? He kidnapped you, of course he doesn’t care about your emotions.

He never did.

That’s why you left him.

You only sob harder and don’t look at him, what is the point? His face is the only thing you get to see these days, you feel like you’ll go insane.

“What e-else can I do! P-Please let me go..” your body temperature is burning, you sit on the dirty floor, your clothes are dirty, your heads hurts but this man doesn’t care.

He’s cruel, you hate him.

“Yn. I won’t let you go. So stop fuckin crying, it’s starting to annoy me.” Jungkook groans, you push your head deeper into your lap, he frustrates you to no end, if only you could kill him so you could leave.

“I hate you! I’ll never love you!”

“Do you honestly think that I give a fuck about that? Baby you should know me better.” He tsks, you want to scream from frustration but you can’t.

Because you’re too numb.

“Yn are you seriously that dumb? Huh? Really?” This man makes you want to pull your hair out of your skull, you want to die.

“Yes! I was dumb enough to love you once!”

He tsks again, you roll your eyes as you turn your head in his direction, tilting your body, biting the inside of your cheek.

“Jungkook, sincerely fuck you.”

“Oh but you have, so many times, remember?” He smirks, locking his eyes with yours, you want to wipe that smirk off his face, but you don’t have the energy.

He’s too strong for you.

“We broke up jungkook, get over it. You never deserved me, you lying asshole!” His eyebrows furrow in amusement, you’re entertaining him, oh he’s so sick.

“You broke up with me, baby I never did so it’s not over until I decide it is.” He folds his arms, the tattoos so visible, he’s sitting on that chair so comfortably while you’re on the cold hard ground.

“And you even had the audacity to try to replace me in your life, it makes me laugh at how you think I can be replaced, baby.” You notice him grit his teeth.

Oh now he’s the one that’s getting frustrated?

You want to laugh, he is such a narcissistic person, he thinks he’s so special to you, he was, once. But not anymore.

“What’s his name? Kim Namjoon, eh?”

You scoff, “what a fuckin stalker you are, Jungkook.”

“Of course. You are mine. I kept my eye on you every single day. My men did some digging and guess what, turns out that your boyfriend is in debt.”

“I know everything yn.”

He stands up, while you gasp in shock. You watch him walk towards you, his black shiny shoes hit the surface, his eyes never leave yours for a minute.

“W-What?! You’re a liar, why would you think that I’d believe you?”

He leans down infront of you, matching your level, “I never lie when it comes to you yn.” He looks at you with intensity. “You know that.”

“So, him and I had a little conversation. I approached him of course. And… let’s just say, you are a very unlucky woman in love.”

You feel tears well up in your eyes.

“But I’m lucky, guess what baby. We had a deal. I offered him humbly to clear up his debt and… in return for my favour to him…”

You don’t like this at all, you know this expression of his soul too well, his lips curl up into a smug smile, his eyes are twinkling, yet a dark hue covers them, oh you’re so in trouble.

“I get you back, forever.”

You let out a sob, you finally let it out, Jungkook doesn’t try to comfort you, he just watches you, “n-no…”

“Oh yes baby. Looks like he sold you. And I put my price on you.”

He chuckles, a sadistic cruel bastard.

“And now you’re mine forever, baby. Forever this time.”

[domesticgoddess22]

wish upon a cowboy

chapter 3: down bad

pairing: raider!joel miller x fem!reader

Summary: A rugged raider takes you under his wing after hunters leave you for dead. The two of you form a team and you quickly grow attached to him–mumbling, grumbling, protective Joel Miller. When you divulge your wishes to experience life before the outbreak, Joel decides to make them come true. All of them.

warnings: age gap (early 20s/mid 40s),praise kink, breeding kink, daddy kink, unplanned pregnancy, unprotected piv, canon-typical violence, light choking, dom!Joel, angst word count: 3.3k (chapter 3) rating: 18+ explicit MDNI masterlist here

A month had passed since the cabin getaway, and you hate to say it, but things between you and Joel have pretty much gone back to normal. No kissing, no sex, just the usual surviving the lands of good ol’ Texas.

Not a word of what transpired that night ever came up in your conversations to the cornfields. 

Not even the morning after when you crawled out from underneath his naked body, quietly lifting the weight of his arm that pinned you to the couch. You slipped outside and washed yourself clean of what he spilled between your legs with the well water. 

By the time you returned to the cabin, Joel was awake and fully clothed with his bag slung over his shoulder. “You ready to go?” he grumbled, his face forming that same hard-lined frown he’s had since the day you met him, the man before you receding into his shell.

The cabin vacation had come to an abrupt end.

Now, you're back to the old grind of survival, tension thick in the air between you two. Each night, you sleep on opposite sides of the camp you’ve put together. It’s been your temporary home for a few weeks now. It’s deep enough into the woods where no one will stumble upon it, but close enough to the city rubble for you to run and do raids.

“Joel, can we stop here?” You ask as the faded red of a once-was Target comes into view.

“No,” he says firmly.

“Joel.”

“How many more places do you need to stop at?” 

“I need pads.”

He rubs the skin between his brows, squeezing his eyes shut.  “Alright, Jesus Christ,” he mutters. “Why didn’t ya just say so?”

You watch his muscles tense as he digs the sharp curve of his crowbar into the crevice of the sliding doors. Metal scrapes against metal until there’s an opening that fits your width and you take a step inside. When he follows after you, you tell him that you’d rather do this alone.

“It’s nothin’ to be embarrassed about,” his voice is low, softer.

“Can I just go alone, please?” you groan, shifting uncomfortably as your eyes dart around, refusing to meet his.

“Fuck. Fine… Just… be careful. We don’t need any trouble.”

“Careful is my middle name,” you say, stepping over the door frame and leaving him behind in your little white web of lies. You weren’t going in for pads. In fact, pads were the last thing you needed right now, and careful was definitely not your middle name or even an adjective that describes you.

The truth is, it had been six weeks since your last period, and you were never late–a stark reminder that your night with Joel hadn’t been your imagination.

This morning you felt your stomach curdle at the sight of food, and when Joel had asked if you were alright, you just told him that you had some bad canned tuna the night before.

Stepping into the faded red walls of Target, the ceiling has caved in the center of the store, allowing light to pool in and illuminate the rubble. The cold air stings your cheeks as you stare at the shelves, littered with remnants of another time. 

Please have it please have it please have it.

As much as it terrified you to have an answer, especially one you knew would change your life–lives?--forever, it was better to know now than later. 

You swallow, fingers brushing across the shelf as you pass scattered boxes of pads, vitamins, empty condom boxes, and–there, a box labeled First Response in weathered lettering. 

You snatch the box, disappearing somewhere behind a different shelf, just in case Joel came stomping in to scold you for taking so long.

So you squat and pee on the damn stick right next to an old hot dog machine and a cardboard cutout of some family looking chipper in their new home filled with crap from Target.

And then you wait. And wait.

Wait for the little stick to show you one line so you'd laugh and run back to Joel and pretend it never happened. 

You chew your lip, willing the line to appear, and in the seconds that you wait, there's a fleeting thought in your head of you and Joel and your baby and there's a warm feeling in your chest when the images of your little family flash in your mind. 

Joel's protective nature would make him a perfect father, and you want to scream at your ovaries to shut the fuck up.

That little daydream could never happen because he doesn't love you. It was a one-night thing, and he sure as hell doesn't want a kid, in the apocalypse–with you.

Everything's gonna be alright.

That’s what you tell yourself as you take a deep breath in, squeezing your eyes tight and then peeling them open to look at the little device that held your future. Tears well up at the corner of your eyes when you see what the little stick reveals.

Two pink lines.

You’re pregnant.

Somewhere towards the front entrance, Joel is hissing your name and your head jerks up. You shuffle the little stick into the back pocket of your jeans.

“The fuck are you doin’?” He says when he finds you, now standing by an old cash register twiddling your thumbs. “Thought you were gonna grab ‘n go?”

You shrug when he looks at you expectantly. 

“Well? Did ya get what ya needed?” 

“Yes I got what I fuckin’ needed, Joel.” You brush past him, anger fueling each stomp out the door.

You half expect him to scold you again. To use the same irritated tone when he asks what the fuck your problem is, but he doesn't.

He says nothing and lets you stew in silence while the two of you walk to a safe spot for the night, a little clearing in the woods. Joel pitched the tent you found back in Woodcreek. You’ve gotten into the habit of switching shifts so one of you is always on watch, and neither of you is ever in the tent at the same time.

“‘S everythin’ okay?”

“Right as rain. Why?”

“You've been quiet. Thought maybe you were still feelin’ sick or som’.”

I'm pregnant.

“I’m fine,” you say, your tone even and dry.

“Hm.”

The truth sits on your tongue, a heavy weight that rolls around but you can't quite spit it out. Goosebumps decorate your skin at the thought of telling him about the two pink lines–the possibility of him rejecting you for it. The thought of him abandoning you by morning has your stomach doing summersaults.

When did you become so attached to him?

You knew for a while now that you've had a crush on him, and the thought of losing him left you feeling empty, but now that felt juvenile. There was so much more at stake, a baby that needed to somehow survive this cruel world and would have a better chance with Joel as their father than not. 

This realization gives you enough courage to try to tell Joel the truth. “Hey. Maybe we should…” You trail off, trying to find the right words. Are there even the right words for something like this? “I think it’s time we talk about somethin’.”

“I’ve been thinkin’ the same thing–look, about what happened between us that night…”

You straighten your spine, cranking your neck up, swallowing back a lump in your throat in anticipation of what Joel is about to say. You weren’t expecting him to take the lead in the conversation, but you shouldn’t be surprised, Joel takes the lead in everything he does.

“I had a lot to drink that night. More ‘n I had in quite some time… so I figured I’d just say uh–” Joel’s hands are on his hips as his eyes bore into the pebbles next to his boots. 

Your heart is pounding like a drum, your hands are clammy, and you’re starting to think you might actually be sick.

Big brown eyes flit to yours and you swear this is the first time he’s fully looked at you since that night. “‘M sorry, darlin’. You’re so young n’ it just wasn’t right what I did–it was a mistake. ”

A mistake.

“Of course…” You feign agreement, hoping that you can somehow conceal the look of disappointment in your expression. Your eyes flit to anything and everything at the campsite that will take your mind off of this horrific moment. 

“It won’t happen again,” he says with booming finality, the final arrow to your bleeding heart.

“Ain’t gotta feel guilty about it, Joel. It’s fine. We can forget it ever even happened.” Eyes cast downward, you awkwardly avoid his gaze.

“Right–okay let’s do it then.”

“Are we gonna still be…?” Your mouth twists into a contorted angle while you chew at your lips, anxiety still settling into your bones.

“I think we make a pretty damn good team–if you’ll still have me.”

You scoff, a playful smirk creeping up across your face. It’s a facade, but you’re going to have to fake it til you make it. “Who else is gonna get me food?” 

“‘S that all I’m good for? Twizzler runs and huntin’ game for you?”

“Ya aren’t much for conversation, but you aren’t terrible company either. In all honesty, though, I wouldn't survive a week out here alone–so you’re good for a lot more than that.”

“You’d make it without me.”

Your eyes narrow into slits. “Don’t patronize me.”

“I’m bein’ serious, darlin’. You just need a little bit of trainin’ and the right attitude and you’d survive out here just fine” He takes three long strides in your direction until he’s towering over you from where you sit, hand resting on your shoulder. “We’ll start your trainin’ tomorrow mornin’, first thing. Be ready.”

The weight of his hand abandons your shoulder once more, but his warmth still lingers. He heads into the tent, taking the first shift. Usually, Joel only slept a few hours at a time. You’d wake him by eleven and then it’d be your turn to sleep until morning.

“Goodnight,” you say with empty enthusiasm. He grunts in response and then zips the tent shut.

**********

Early morning light peeks through the crack of your tent, illuminating the threads of your blanket from dark purple to a soft shade of lilac. You can tell from the color of the light that it is far too early for you to be awake yet, so you snuggle back into the sleeping bag–which still smells smokey like Joel–and doze off.

“Rise and shine, sweetheart!” A gruff voice rips you back into reality and your eyes peel open. At the front of the tent, you see Joel, bent at the knees, peering into the opening of the tent. “Today, we’re teachin’ you to hunt.” 

“Five more minutes…”

“No can do, sweetheart.”

“You’re such a fuckin’ stickler!” Mornings were never your cup of tea, there was no good reason to be up before the sun lifted its ass from the horizon. Maybe there was a reason before, but not now.

“What happened to wantin’ to experience school? If you were in school, class would be startin’ soon.”

“Did you know that the world ended?” You sit up, making sure to cover your bosom with the sleeping bag–not that it was anything he hadn’t seen before.

“Not for the whitetails. They’re are out ‘n about in these early mornin’ hours, so now is the perfect time to catch ‘em by surprise.”

“First class of the day: huntin’.”

“Is that part of a normal university schedule or are you just pullin’ this outta your ass?”

“Pullin’ it outta my ass.” 

“Then you better make me a delicious school lunch.”

Joel bellows into a roaring laugh and your heart flutters at the sound.

“That funny?” 

“More ‘n you know. Ain’t no school lunch that was delicious, least not where we’re from.”

“Huh, you’d think they’d feed the kids the good stuff.” The more you hear about life from before, the more it feels like a distant alien planet where people did odd things.

“Get your stuff on ‘n let’s go. Next class’l be math.”

“Math?!”

“Come’on.” He zips the tent shut and leaves you to change.

After you slip on your cargo pants, you tug on your boots, mumbling under your breath as you fumble to tie the laces. From inside the tent, you still converse with Joel. “I’m startin’ to sound like you old man, no wonder you’re so cranky. You don’t even get any sleep!” 

“Yeah, I’m busy huntin’ food while the princess sleeps,” he says from a distance.

“And I thank you for it every day, Joel.” 

It was playful bickering, really, and there was a tugging feeling inside your chest that made you feel like the two of you were an old married couple.

“Just want you to be able to take care of yourself if ya ever have to.” 

Something about that doesn’t sit right with you as you're bent at the knee, tying the knot on your left shoe, holding the once-smooth lace between your fingers, frozen in thought for a beat of time before you give it one final tug. 

The opening of the tent feels cool against your palm as you enter the camp, sticks crunching beneath your feet as you make your way to Joel, his back is to you, broad shoulders tense underneath the green flannel of his shirt. He’s strapped with his rifle and working to fill a bag up with ammo when he notices you.

“What are we bringin’?” You’re at his side now, getting yourself familiar with the gear he’s packing for the hunt when he turns to you. 

The silent response has you spin to face him, hand on your hip as you gesture for him to respond. 

His eyes are fixed on yours, left hand flexing as he looks at you expectantly. 

“What?” You mutter, still very ripe with early morning grouchiness.

And then he says cooly, “You gonna wear a shirt, darlin’?”

A shirt. You forgot to put on a damn shirt.

You swallow, cheeks probably stained red as your heart pounds violently from the embarrassment of it all.

He probably thinks you’re trying to seduce him by showing up in a frilly pink bra that barely holds the weight of your breasts–not by choice but more so thanks to lack of availability. Your last bra had the straps snap. A push-up bra was about all you could find on your recent raids and one that was about one size too small at that.

Play it cool.

“I was gettin’ to it,” you say, real snippy and sharp. “Wanted to see what all the noise with all your packin’.” 

“Same noise I’ve been makin’ every morning. Loadin’ my bag with ammo.” Joel’s eyes are firmly locked onto yours and not on your nearly bare chest. Either his behavior is out of respect or disinterest, you can’t really say.

Your mom once told you that men typically get bored once they’ve laid with you.

“Very good. I’ll finish gettin’ ready then.” You wiggle your brows and then dip back into the tent, grabbing a plain white T from your humble selection of three shirts. The mundane task of pulling the fabric over your head helps calm your nerves.

About twenty minutes deeper into the woods, Joel finally speaks. “You should try coffee. Might help ya in the mornin’.”

“Hmm, maybe. Never tried it before.”

“That’s another thing we gotta add to the list.”

“Not the crap you drink, I meant real coffee from a real coffee shop.”

“We’ll see what we can do.”

“We really don't need to do the whole list thing–” you begin before Joel hushes you, the elbow of his arm is pressed to your breast to stop your movement. You swallow, your eyes trailing on the veins of his thick arms and then he points to something in the distance. 

If you squint hard enough, you can see a deer up ahead, golden coat stark and shimmering against the green landscape of the clearing. 

Joel loads the chamber and then rests his trusty .308 in your arms. You’re shocked by how heavy it is, having seen Joel effortlessly sling it over his shoulder for weeks. It’s been his prized possession since he found it, because it means the two of you can eat something more than just canned goods.

Your face starts to feel clammy and the grip feels slippery in your now sweaty palm.

“No, I can’t do this–really.”

“Yes, you can, darlin’.” His voice warm against your ear and you feel his chest against your back as he guides your arms to hold the gun.

“Right hand on the grip, left on the handgrip. Let her butt rest steady against your shoulder. Does it feel steady?”

“Yeah.”

“Press your cheek to the stock and aim down your sight. Aim right above the shoulder, don’t miss ‘n hit the stomach otherwise, she’ll bleed out. You want to get her in one shot and put ‘er out of ‘er misery.”

“Wait what? You’re telling me I can’t miss?”

“You’ll be fine,” his tone is nonchalant.

“I can’t do this…”

“Just aim your sight.”

His calloused hand steadies your shaky hold on the handgrip, tilting the gun up slightly as he urges you to check your sight. You do, and when you land right on the spot he gently removes his grip on you and tells you to breathe and squeeze the trigger.

With hesitance, you obey, swallowing hard before you hook your finger on the trigger and pull. Palms still slippery with sweat, you feel the gun shift just a hair to the right the very second before the bullet launches. 

The problem is that you forgot to breathe. 

“Shit! I missed!”

“Nah, you didn’t.” Joel leaps up, bolting through the trees and into the clearing. You dart after him, but his long legs and ferocious stamina take him to the fallen deer before you.

When you reach your kill, you realize very quickly based on the heaving chest and labored breathing that she was still very much alive.

Tears water your eyes and cascade down your face at the image of another being suffering because of something you did. It was one thing to hunt for the sake of eating, it was another to hunt poorly and leave the animal to suffer unnecessarily. How can you live with yourself?

“W-What do we do?”

“Close your eyes,” Joel reaches for the handgun tucked into his belt and then the blaring noise of a gunshot leaves your ears ringing. Your heart is pounding like a drum, your stomach swinging, and you feel the blood rush out of your face in a matter of seconds. 

“I told you to close your eyes.” His voice is muffled and there’s an odd sense that you, and him, and the whole world is deep underwater, and for some reason it makes you want to–

Vomit. Violently. 

Your fingers are tangled in the grass beneath your palms, yanking on the green strands to stay balanced on planet Earth. Everything is spinning so you heave, and heave until you can’t anymore. 

“Baby…”

The next thing you know, you’re in Joel’s arms, head pressed to his chest. You sway to the rhythm of his footsteps as he carries you through the trees and back to camp. He lays you down in the tent and for a brief moment of consciousness, you catch him watching you, his eyes piercing into your soul as he appears deep in thought. And then he leaves, zipping up the tent behind him, his footsteps fading off somewhere into the trees as you drift back to sleep.

~~~ Thank you for reading, more chapters to come soon <3

masterlist here

[miley1442111]

memory fails- c.berzatto

a/n: this is lowkey saddddd but wtv. this was intended for fem!reader but it's only mentioned once so feel free to imagine what you like :) also I fucking love Monk.

summary: there's no way carmy forgot such an important date, right? You'd better go down to the restaurant and check.

pairings: carmenberzatto x reader, platonic!syndeyadamu x reader

warnings: breaking up, parental loss, failing relationship, mean carmy, brief mention of sex, mentions of feeling used in a relationship, smoking.

Everything was too loud. His head hurt, his body ached and all he fucking wanted was to be at home, with you. He stepped outside the noisy kitchen and lit a cigarette, a habit he knew you hated but he just couldn’t take this anymore. Why did I leave my bed this morning? He asked himself again and again.

This morning, you were beside him, arms wrapped around his neck as he lazily kissed a trail up your neck, electing small giggles from your drowsy state. Today was meant to be his day off, but fucking Nat called him in for a meeting with Cicerio, a meeting that didn’t even happen. So now, here he was standing outside his own restaurant, the last place he wanted to be right then. He had spent the day practicing fucking timing in the kitchen. The sun was setting, he knew he’d missed the day with you. He knew you’d be upset. Never mad, always just upset, or frustrated. Just never fucking mad. He didn’t think he’d ever seen you mad. He brought the cigarette to his lips again as he smiled at the image of you that morning, one that will be burnt into his brain forever. 

“Cousin! Your girl’s here!” Richie shouted from inside and Carmen’s daydream was shattered. He exhaled the remaining smoke and off he went, back inside where he saw you, arms crossed against your chest, looking guarded and upset. 

“Hey, what’s up?” He asked as he pulled you into his office for some privacy. Richie, Tina and Sydney gave him stern looks. 

“You remember what today is, right?” You asked him, a slight wobble in your voice. He scoured his brain for a few seconds and that was all you needed. “You don’t.” 

“Sunshine, I’m sorry I-”

“Carm, if you don’t have time for this relationship anymore then what are we doing?” you sigh, sitting on the small black couch in the corner. “I’m sick of feeling like I don’t matter.”

“Sunshine, what? You matter more than anyone, more than anything! Wh-where is this coming from?” 

“It’s my dad’s anniversary. You didn’t show up. Sydney showed up, Nat showed up, Tina showed up, hell, even fucking Cicero showed up! And my own boyfriend didn’t? What the fuck is wrong with you?” You were getting mad. For the first time ever he was seeing you get mad. His heart broke. He had made you mad. He made his sunshine mad. “I just wanted 45 minutes of your time to visit his grave!” That’s why it was just him and Ritchie in the restaurant earlier.

“Fuck…” He sighed out. 

“Yeah Carmen, ‘fuck’! At this point, I’m kind of ready to break up Carmen! If this is how important to you I am, then maybe we’re fucking done!” You shouted, the entire restaurant and kitchen could hear you, thank god there were no customers but fuck, how could he miss such an important date? 

His face dropped. You couldn’t actually mean that, right?

“Sunshine please-”

“No Carmen. I come second to fucking everything in your life! Today was the day you promised to be there for me! It’s not fucking fair.”

“Sunshine, you know that work is important,” he tried to reason and when he looked up he knew he had made a grave mistake. 

“More important than me? More important than my dad’s fucking one-anniversary? More important than being there for me?” you challenged. 

“Yes! Sometimes, yes! Not everything is always about you!” He shouted, and trust him, he knew he shouldn’t have. What he really wanted was to apologise and spend the next few days making it up to you. But he didn’t. He just dug himself a deeper hole. “Fuck’s sake- sunshine, just drop it!”

Had he had the emotional strength to look up, he would’ve seen the hurt evident in your face. He would’ve noticed the way your eyes glazed and how you started shaking. 

“Fuck you.” You practically whispered. “Fuck your restaurant and fuck this shit. I have to at least allow myself some fucking self-respect Carmen! You don’t get to treat me like this anymore! We’re done.” You turn on your heel, walking out of the restaurant as Sydney follows after you, and Richie starts giving Carmen hell. 

“Yo, that seemed pretty heated back there-” She started saying, trying to catch up to you. 

“Please Syd, just… leave me alone,” you sighed, leaning against the wall outside the restaurant. 

“I’m sure this is just… like he’s just being a dick-”

“He forgot the one thing I needed him to remember. The only fucking thing I asked him to remember. I never care when he misses my birthday, any and all family things, fucking date nights. I never care. I’m always understanding. But I’m so done. I’m done with this feeling- I-I’m just… I feel like I’m the only one who cares, y’know? Like I’m the only one who ever puts any fucking effort into our relationship, a-and when he finally does, it’s like he’s expecting a fucking medal for just… being a boyfriend. And I understand that he’s struggling, but there’s only so much comforting and support I can give before I feel like I’m being used. I am being used Syd. All he does is come home and he's either crying or manic, or mad, so I comfort him, and then he asks if he can fuck me, and of fucking course I say yes, because he’s looking at me with those puppy-dog eyes. And then he turns over and falls asleep, and I’m fucking alone again. I’m struggling too! My dad died! My…” You trailed off as Sydney pulled you into a comforting hug. “I fucking hate myself for staying with him, just hoping he’d be better,” you explain as sobs wrack your body. There’s a moment of silence between the two of you.

“He’s an asshole, and I think we both know you’re better without him, but I get this is hard too. How about we go back to yours and watch some Monk? It was your dads favourite, right?” She offered, a kind smile on her lips. 

“Yeah, thanks,” you smiled through your tears. 

“I’ll go grab my stuff, be back in a minute,” she smiled and walked back inside the building, leaving you with your thoughts. 

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

“I-is she ok?” Carmen’s eyes were on Sydney as she walked back inside the building. 

“Fuck you Carmen,” Ritchie sighed, as Sydney started grabbing her things from her locker, ignoring his question. “You don’t deserve to know if she’s ok!”

“You didn’t go either!” Carmen pointed out.

“Yeah, cause I went with her to the grave yesterday, y’know, since I have my fucking job today?!” 

Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck.

“Look, I’m heading out, night,” Sydney mumbled out as she slung her bag over her shoulder, walking swiftly towards the door. 

“Wait! Just… a-are we broken up then?” Carmen asked, terrified of the answer. The restaurant stilled. 

“Yes,” all of them answered, Tina’s voice the loudest. It was unanimous. You were gone from his life. Carmen stalked into his office and slammed the door, a loud “Fuck!” could be heard, as well as things falling to the floor. 

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Sydney walked back out to you and grabbed your arm, whisking you away from The Bear and to her couch, binge watching episodes of Monk with her and her dad, popcorn and beer in your hands until you inevitably fell asleep on her floor.

Carmen didn’t sleep that night. He just kept thinking about you that morning, the small smile in the darkness. Your soft skin against his lips and hands. Your lips against his. Your kind eyes. Your sing-song voice. Your sweet smell. Your perfect smile. Your determination and unbreakable spirit. You. 

He had a lot to make up for, but how?

[itsmeatballworld]

| it ends in heartbreak |

pairing | daryl dixon x f!reader

summary | you both knew he would break your heart. he couldn't help himself.

wc | 1400

warnings | cursing, sadness/heartbreak [aka the title]

a/n | I've had this in my drafts forever lol I forgot about this one! Also this is the first time I've ever written pure angst so go easy on me <3

continue... [ part 2 ] - [ part 3 ]

You always knew this day would come.

There were signs pointing to the downfall of your relationship, signs you chose to ignore to enjoy the moments of happiness.

But the signs couldn’t be any clearer–it would never last. It couldn't.

It was the end of the world, for starters. Life was always in shambles. The group never stayed in one spot long enough. Even the prison wasn’t safe. With everything unstable, it should’ve been obvious this would happen, but you were naive to think you’d would be any different.

Because the reality was: this was always how it was supposed to end.

He was built on a fractured foundation. He set up walls and built his life around a broken base, worn down by his past that he couldn't escape. First, parents had cracked and hardened his outlook on life. Then his brother taught him he meant little to others by leaving him behind. Not once did he ever learn how to fix the ache in his heart.

Yet when he met you, things changed.

It was gradual. Pieces of him started to align and heal. The tough outer shell wasn't as indestructible as he first imagined. After some time he opened up and let you in.

But you both knew he would break your heart.

He couldn't help himself. It was in his nature to push back, to fight and wrangle away from anything that became too real. Too good.

But for the time being, you enjoyed the blissful moments of his affection.

When he kissed you goodnight it was over.

He lingered, almost as if he was allowing his lips to memorize the feeling of your skin on his. His fingers fell against your curves as you pressed into the cellblock’s cool cement wall. It was in these seconds of quiet where you both had a chance to breathe.

Pulling back, Daryl rested one arm above your head. He leaned in close, gazing sweetly down at you. His other hand slowly traveled to your face and Daryl’s thumb brushed against your bottom lip.

Without hesitating you whispered the words he never imagined hearing from you.

Love you.

There. Right there. You saw the spark in his bright blue eyes dim. The crystalline color washed away into a deep ocean blue. Rocky and turbulent. Daryl’s eyes were no longer filled with love, but rather, fear.

You lost him, right there, pressed against the concrete wall of Cellblock D.

This was destined to fail.

“Please don’t do this.”

“Have to.”

“No…no you don’t have to, Daryl.” Your chest tightened. It was like the air was on fire. No matter how deeply you breathed in and out, pain still resided in your chest. He was crippling you.

“Daryl–”

“Ain’t up for debate.” He stepped back, snatching his crossbow from the watchtower’s metal flooring.

Your hands fumbled to find your shirt, hating how he sprung this on you in the middle of the night. He didn't have patience to wait, apparently. Just break your heart and go, like it was nothing.

“I’m not trying to…I just…” you groaned. “What happened? Was it me? Did I do something?”

His eyes went wide. That scared, fearful expression washed over him once again.

Fuck, you squeezed your eyes shut. That was it. That look. It was just like the other night. When those stupid words stumbled out of your mouth, falling to the ground at Daryl’s feet. Just before he crushed them with his silence.

“Was it something I said?”

He didn't answer and his silence (unlike most nights) wasn't good enough. You needed answers.

“So that’s it then. You say ‘I’m done’ and leave before sunrise?”

The broody man fought to glance in your direction. Instead, he focused out towards the tree-line. He grabbed onto the windowsill and squeezed so tightly that the white of his knuckles appeared. But his tactics to avoid the conversation at hand weren’t getting past you tonight.

You shot up from the floor. “Daryl.”

“I ain’t got time for this.”

“You fuck me, say we’re done, and leave? Like this was all nothing? Like we mean nothing to each other?”

Daryl paused. He turned to you with lips curled into a tight frown. Even in the darkness of the watchtower, through the bright white moonlight, his frustration was clear.

“I said ‘I love you’, Daryl.” There was a desperation behind your words. Your voice was so deeply distressing it made your chest ache. It was heavy and exhausting to display your feelings out to him in the middle of the night. But you wanted more–deserved more–than a shitty ending to whatever you had with him.

“You think this is love?”

You gawked, “yes!”

He paced the small room like a caged animal ready to pounce.

You love this man.

“This ain’t love.”

You love this man. This jerk.

“Then what the fuck is this, Daryl? Tell me.” You paused, tears welling in your eyes but you refused to let them fall. “Fucking tell me!”

The shirt in your hands balled up tight around your closed fist. You were hurt. Everything about him was trouble and you let him in.

“I said ‘I love you’. I said it and now you’re pulling away.”

As he watched you, just for a moment, his eyes didn’t fill with fear or confusion. There was something there. Between the declarations, he looked apologetic. His blue eyes softened, letting the emotions he desperately tried to conceal slip past those walls he built back up.

“Well, shit! I’m sorry I said it. I fucked this up, didn’t I?” The gravel in your voice scratched your throat. Everything burned.

The apologetic stare turned pitiful. A deep scowl crossed his face and your heart sank. “Can’t mess it up when there was nothin’ here, sweetheart.”

Sweetheart. It was so condescending as his drawl pulls at the syllables. That tightness in your chest balled into a pit of rage. Fire that burned you before ignited an anger inside.

You moved closer towards him. “You sleep with me every night. You kiss me before leaving on runs. When you think nobody’s looking, you hold my hand. We talk about our past. Our future. This is real, Daryl.”

“Nah.” He grabbed his belt, twisting it through the loops. “This ain’t real.”

Your fingers tightened on the fabric as you tugged the shirt on. “That’s not true—“

He huffed, staring out into the cloudy night sky. “You’re better off without me anyway.”

“Don’t. Don't say that. I’m not better off without you. I’d be worse.”

Daryl paused.

But the hurt and anger fueling your body didn’t stop. “So don’t make me feel crazy for falling in love with you. Like it was a choice? If I was fucking smart, I would’ve ran far away from you the second we met. But I didn’t. Because I saw you for more than the asshole you pretend to be. So excuse me for feeling blindsided by your decision to leave me.”

“Leave you?” He spat. “Get it through your head, girl. You ain’t mine! You’re just some bitch I screwed.”

The frogs croaking down by the creeks ceased to exist. Trees stopped rustling in the breeze. Crickets no longer sang under the stars. The world froze as his words were thrown at you with such haste. Like he didn’t think twice.

Your arms wrapped around your waist, tugging at the fabric clinging to your body.

He didn’t look back at you. His eyes seemed to drift anywhere but you like he couldn't face the fact that he said it out loud.

No, no. He doesn’t really think that…

Your voice cracked as the tears from earlier were not going to wait much longer. “Daryl–”

He turned on his heels and was out the door. Down the ladder, each step was louder than the last. You paused, bawling your fists as the tears finally spilled across your cheeks. Loud and heaving gasps, muddled together with hot tears.

He broke you down within seconds. The tears and sobs continued on for what felt like forever until you finally had a moment of rest. The tightness in your chest subsided, thankfully, but this was the easier part. Tomorrow will be harder when you’ll have to put on a fake smile, wipe away tears in the dark prison hallways, and avoid him.

Forget him. Forget him…right like it would be easy. It’ll be fucking impossible to forget him.

You wished you could hate him. But you don’t.

So for tonight, you let yourself feel the heartbreak and planned to stand taller tomorrow. Because in the end you knew it would never last.

But it didn't matter.

You loved that man.

Yet after everything, he might have been right. You weren't truly with him.

And maybe he never really cared for you at all.

-xx-

-xx-

a/n 2.0 | daryl PLEASEE {as if I didn't write him to act this way}