#I feeling bad for marina

[celibibratty]

I...i don't know what to do, if mom wanted to hear something, Sorry, i don't know what to say, i don't know what path is wrong or right, I really don't know💧........now we have a depressed mom, she seem so lost....but she hurt us too,.....she needed to know that the way she treated and treat us affect us, poor marina, I hope because of the mini fight with Marina mom doesn't change her mind on finding a therapist just because we were the ones who suggested, sorry mom, even us/me being the wise person, the ones you open up to and seek for answer, for more loving and supporting we are and helps you sometimes, we are.....not the best help, cuz we are your daughters, we have traumas/beefs with you, sometimes what you say(even if it's not what you meant) will offend us, will hurt us, and same vice versa, sometimes we will hurt you, sometimes we will make you feel worse....you broken, but we are also too,.....and you need to understand that, you need to find someone else

[annabelle--cane]

a minor tma fandom thing that has amused me for a few years is that, after the show ended, a very obvious way to see the different approaches people had been taking to engaging with it became to hear their recommendations for what media you should try if you'd liked it. suddenly the veil parted and I could be like ooohhh of course we never saw eye to eye, you're listening to it like the way you listen to heart-warming found family actual play ttrpgs and I'm listening to it like eighty hour hamlet.

[squidthusiast]

Smollusk looks so much like wet slime, I bet you could throw it at a wall and it would make a wet slap noise, pathetically

Pearl would throw it at walls like those sticky hands for sure

[jessmalia]

PRINCE CASPIAN (2008) dir. Andrew Adamson

[jiiniix]

sketching with this new brush, it feels like painting w watercolors, it was kinda tricky because it has a horizontal shape

[mayasdeluca]

Station 19: 7x07 'Give It All'

[pcktknife]

'its out of character for frye to get upset abt the splatfest loses' ....is it tho??

[genshin-silliness]

I feel like we collectively moved on from the fact that Cyno's parents literally sold him to some random temple for mora a bit too fast.

On that note, might be a hot take, but both Bamoun and Cyrus suck as people. Bamoun more than Cyrus obviously, but it really irked me how Cyrus was more worried about "oh that power is yours you can't let anyone else have it" then. Idk. His adoptive son?? (I know that wasn't exactly what he was saying but like damn).

Throughout the entire quest they kept bringing up Hermanubis and all that stuff while almost never acknowledging that both Cyno and Sethos were forced into a quite frankly cruel ritual as children, and had to deal with their superior's beef and issues as they grew up.

[pass3ra]

cressida's storyline was genuinely shameful tbhhh it's like they started rewriting it in the first half of the season then completely forgot about the changes they'd made to make it fit the book plot and it just ends up making everyone else look bad😐 every character in the second half got a "penelope did nothing wrong" lobotomy so we ended up with eloise completely ignoring cressida being sold off to an horrible man (when she made every effort to support her in the first half of the season) and for some reason resenting her for pretending to be lady whistledown? Then they somehow frame her ignoring colin's offensively bad pleas as it being her turning away from redemption when all she's trying to do is escape being trapped in the country with her likely abusive aunt... and it ends with her meeting her horrible fate and it still being framed as tragic only to immediately juxtapose it with the bridgerton family winning the idgaf war while gleefully seeing off francesca and her future dead husband. The bridgertons were the villains of the season frfr

[salamikegs]

as soon as I heard of the amputated head feature i thought of the painting "Salomé recevant la tête de Saint Jean Baptiste" that i had photographed in a museum 3 years ago!! so i redrew it with marina and samarie... dont worry its a crime of passion.

[dollypopup]

interesting how polin is all here for multishippers when it comes to penelope being shipped with literally everyone and their father, but the second someone ships colin with marina, it's suddenly controversial and bad and wrong and they should be totally fine with people talking shit about her and acting like she's the worst and how dare you post anything in the archives about it or in the tags, don't you know that he'd be miserable and the two of them would never work and I HATE HER AND AND AND.

this fandom will lose their shit over penelope with literally every bland whitebread man in her general vicinity and fics on fics on fics get written about her with OCs and his brothers and his sister and people she's never so much as shared a room with but heaven forbid you think Colin and Marina were cute during their canonical courtship

[rainybraindays]

Okay, apparently shutting the fuck up was never an option but the way no one likes to look at the marina situation and go "wow what the fuck is wrong with portia"? Crazy.

Like she immediately didn't like her, not because of anything she'd done, but because she took attention from her daughters no matter how bright she dressed them.

It didn’t matter that the main reason is that, honestly all 3 of her daughters are painfully awkward, and in ones case literally 17. It didn’t matter that Marina was only there at her fathers instance, or that theoretically through having someone thats clearly popular in her home she could have used it as a jump off mark to match her daughters, she was seen as her big hurdle to marrying them off. Marinas immediately othered, to the point that when shes being dressed the maids helping put on her shoes is enough to piss Portia off. She immediately puts Marina in the same ring as her daughters, fight for my attention and maybe maybe it'll be positive. But Marina doesn't do that because she doesn't want to even be there.

And then they find out she's pregnant and shes othered even more. She immediately tries to send her back, and when she's not allowed to do that shes locked away and the other girls aren't even allowed to talk to her. She literally tries to freeze her out, like Marina has any say in being there in the first place, before lying to her about her being abandoned by George.

She makes no attempt to find out if George has family, she doesn't care enough to try even though that would have been a way to get rid of her "problem". She tries to push Marina onto a man old enough to be her grandfather and slaps her across the fucking face when she tries to stand up for herself.

Theres no concern for her safety, for the babys safety, just getting her out of her house as fast as fucking possible, and I'm meant to be surprised that when Colin saves Marina from her elderly suitor she turns her attention to him?

Like the nicest guy, who everyone likes, who's attractive, who isn't multiple decades older than her and most importantly not going to literally assault her? Yeah not a big shocker. Should she have lied to him? No, but she wouldn't have had to or felt the need to if she wasn't in the most hostile fucking house. Even Penelope, who she likes, why does everyone forget that she fucking likes Penelope and viewed her as a friend, becomes aggressive towards her. Shes cornered, shes scared, and all of this could have been avoided if Portia was a slightly better person and said "hey soilder boys not written back, you're gonna have this kid, does he have any family?" instead of setting this entire mess in motion.

[annabelle--cane]

say it with me everybody: personal health is completely immaterial to morality, including mental health. leading a mentally unhealthy lifestyle (or what you perceive as a mentally unhealthy lifestyle) does not a bad person make. no one has to socialize, exercise, have healthy coping mechanisms, or lead (what you perceive as) a fulfilling life with fulfilling hobbies in the same way that no one has to go to the doctor to get a broken bone reset. both of those types of management of personal health are likely to be beneficial to the individual, but they are in no way moral requirements or debts owed to society. they do not actually say anything about a person's principles, personality, or actions towards others. additionally, people know themselves and their own situations better than you do. maybe a person judges that the physical and financial toll of going to the doctor outweigh the benefit of getting their bone reset, maybe a person just does not have the capacity to develop healthy coping mechanisms at this point in their life, and yes, maybe a person feels like they are totally fulfilled by "media based" hobbies alone and would feel no difference in their life if they picked up a loom. just like. let people be sick without accusing them of being representative of the lazy, degenerated state of modern society.

[sexynetra]

Can I interest you in some DameRina? 🙊

YOU SURE GODDAMN CAN AAAA

[thataddylady]

Analysis: Phillip Crane 'To Sir Phillip with Love' Pt. 1

So I was asked to do a fleshed out analysis of Phillip Crane as a character and what on earth is so appealing about his romance with Eloise for those of us who loved not only her character but her book as well. It was meant to be one post but honestly it turned into a novella so I'm gonna do this in sections. His book with Eloise was my favorite in the Bridgerton series. Phillip Crane is a very complex character. He isn't charming or dashing, he isn't setting off fireworks anywhere. The ones who aren't a fan think he is a toxic rapist at worst or a boring nerd at best. I am not here to argue against that case. I'm just gonna make mine.

Regarding Sir Phillip

Before I can get into why I loved him with Eloise, I thought I'd do a breakdown of Phillip and his back story as presented in the books. So much of his character and mannerisms are informed by his history so to miss it is to misunderstand him IMHO.

Phillip Crane as a character, is a deeply emotionally scared man. He has so much compounded trauma it's not funny, starting from his father's abuse from childhood onwards, his brother's death, his marriage to Marina and ultimately her death which was both tragic and traumatic. Now I know many of you who are familiar will go "She was depressed for ten years and ultimately committed suicide, how is this HIS tragedy?" This is a fair point to bring up. #man pain. I will get to that, I promise.

The book however only has Phillip's POV and when it opens he is six months out from her funeral so not much time has passed. A snapshot of Phillip's life as presented in the book is he and his brother suffered from horrific abuse at the hands of their father. He has visible scars on his back as an adult from the beatings he endured as a child. His escape was two things, his brother George and attending school. He's a plant nerd, and he comes into his own through academic scholarship. His brother, who was a real paragon by all accounts dies at Waterloo, and Phillip is yanked out of school by his father for more abuse to whip him into shape as his heir. Part of this is forcing Phillip to marry Marina. They are both still mourning his brother. His father as some point drops dead of a heart attack right in front of Phillip mid abusive diatribe and Phillip inherits the baronet.

From Phillip's recollections he and Marina were had a decent marriage until her depression becomes extremely bad after the birth of the twins. There is an unfortunate scene (not the first in the Bridgerton series) where Phillip visits Marina at night after receiving permission from her. The sex is horrible because she is not in a good place and he doesn't clock it until it is too late. Going off of their previous times having sex he assumes he is doing something wrong which is why she is not responding. He doesn't realize that she is in fact legitimately not in the mood and her consent in her current mindset is not reliable.

Is it well written? We can debate it. But what it is meant to convey is a tricky situation where sexual consent used to mean something and now it does not. This experience ends up being scaring for both of them because even though he received consent which used to be reliable, this time it was not and he feels like he raped his wife. Marina is upset because the whole experience was probably demeaning for her and she isn't in a place where she can understand or communicate her wants or needs. There are those who argue that Phillip is a rapist but to me seeking consent and receiving it moves this more into really bad or traumatic sex. The consent is never rescinded.

At worst he should have noticed sooner, but at best he's better than Daphne.

Either way this event sets the tone for the next decade of Phillip and Marina's marriage. He swears off sex with her because he realizes that she isn't in a place to consent to it, and instead spends the years raising their two children and trying to help her out of her depression. With what is available to him he does his best but a modern audience knows that this is a losing battle for both of them once Marina's depression becomes what we would classify as clinical. In the end after a decade long struggle on both their parts, Marina tries to drown herself. Phillip stops her and she succumbs to 'lung fever' or some related illness shortly after.

About Marina

Marina Crane is a tragic character; she loses George (Phillip's older brother) the love of her life and is forced to marry his brother with little ceremony or time to grieve. She is written as already having issues with depression before the death of her fiancé, and develops what seems to be postpartum depression after the birth of her two children with Phillip which is left untreated (cause it's 1800') and it devolves over her marriage with Phillip. Because this is set in the 1800's there is no real help for the level of depression Marina suffers from for a decade. She is unable to connect with her children or live well, her husband is unable to help her and in the end she dies from the effects of a su**ide attempt locked inside her own personal hell. It is rough going.

Now while it is true that Marina is a tragic figure, I feel that it is too easily ignored that Phillip is as well. He is someone who has compounded trauma, who also had no escape from his situation and is doing his best to help someone who cannot be helped without any proper tools or assistance at all. He's not Mr. Rochester in Jane Eyre who's annoyed about his mentally ill wife and locks her in the attic and denies her existence. He actively tries to help Marina any way he knows how. He seeks advice from neighbors or health professionals, tries every approach and nothing is effective.

Just as Marina was trapped in a marriage with a man she didn't love with an illness she couldn't win against, Phillip was also trapped in a marriage with someone who couldn't communicate, who was a ghost of themselves and everything he does is ineffective.

In this day and age with the medicine and knowledge we have the awareness around mental illness is still sorely lacking, but it is a better understanding than the 19th Century.

All of this is to say both can be and are true. They are both victims of a series of tragic and unfortunate events and circumstances.

There is a reason there are support groups not only for those with depression but the caretakers of those with clinical depression and those who have lost loved ones to it. It is deeply traumatic to feel that you are the reason someone cannot get out of bed in the morning, that if you just tried harder they would be able to pull themselves out of it. If you have been in close to someone who is depressed clinically or otherwise, you know it takes a toll watching it. The longer you are witness to it the harder it is to stay 'logical' about the truth of what is happening. That it isn't personal, the individual isn't "not trying" because of self pity or laziness, they simply cannot control their thoughts or emotions.

If you are a person who encounters it upon occasion it is a bummer but you can shake it off. If you are living with someone suffering from it, it is mental and emotional torture, especially when you feel responsible and ARE responsible for the person's health and wellbeing. The feelings it engenders are dark and complicated. It leaves you twisting between bitterness that they won't try harder, shame that you didn't try harder or be better to help them and are blaming them for your incompetency and grief over the fact that they are slipping away and you cannot help. There is also a 50/50 shot between anger and numb resignation about the entire situation.

These are Phillip's actual feelings when it comes to Marina. Phillip does not see himself as a victim of her depression. He's not just 'pissed that he couldn't get laid by his sad wife'. He's someone who is trying to cope with the result of being handed a series of increasingly bad cards with no room or space or help to manage it all.

He has been second choice his whole life and by all appearances (to his mind) has failed to be the person he was meant to be. Namely, his brother George. George dies because he's serving his country while his baby brother gets to go to learn about plants. His father is abusive and dies because Phillip wasn't good enough to match George. Marina took her life because Phillip wasn't George.

He cannot separate his marriage from his grief over his brother that he never got to process, his feelings about watching his parent drop dead and the life he's been enduring since birth. It has been blow after blow by the time we meet him in the first chapter and it is probably the first time in over a decade that he has time to begin to process his life.

Only he can't because he has two children who are used to having their father around and don't understand why he locks himself away in his green house all day and cannot play with them.

Ok I think that's enough about Phillip, Part 2 will tackle him and Eloise in the book.

Feel free to leave your thoughts but I am not gonna tolerate attacks. If you have beef keep scrolling please.

@whatsaweekend here's the first part of what you inflicted on yourself LOL.

[stylespresleyhearted]

goodnight princess ✨ thinking about how much better she deserved