#I just feel guilty and awkward | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

celibibratty · 8 months ago

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I...i don't know what to do, if mom wanted to hear something, Sorry, i don't know what to say, i don't know what path is wrong or right, I really don't know💧........now we have a depressed mom, she seem so lost....but she hurt us too,.....she needed to know that the way she treated and treat us affect us, poor marina, I hope because of the mini fight with Marina mom doesn't change her mind on finding a therapist just because we were the ones who suggested, sorry mom, even us/me being the wise person, the ones you open up to and seek for answer, for more loving and supporting we are and helps you sometimes, we are.....not the best help, cuz we are your daughters, we have traumas/beefs with you, sometimes what you say(even if it's not what you meant) will offend us, will hurt us, and same vice versa, sometimes we will hurt you, sometimes we will make you feel worse....you broken, but we are also too,.....and you need to understand that, you need to find someone else

#I hate this vibe #I don't want to eat I don't want to shower I don't want to wake up I don't want to do anything #I don't want to live this day #I just want to sleep...forever #If it was me and marina is so easy sometimes we have breakdown fights but we make up so easily i wish all relationships could be like twins #I feeling bad for marina #That will ruin her whole training motivation(which its already lacking cuz of this shitty X suspended situation💧)#I need to study(zero streght to do that💧) cuz I need to do things fast I tired #I like college but god i just can't wait to finish it I tired i tired of being disciplined I tired of doing all of this #reflection #I fear what mom can think or say of us #;ungrateful children; ;that we use her; ;that we are mean;#...It was necessary and idk i don't feel nothing to be real i think i so used to her that I don't get much anxious anymore #And im different now i don't have much afraid anymore #I just feel guilty and awkward

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medi-melancholy · 2 months ago

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it is officially one month till my birthday, and i am still keeping my annual promise to myself to accept whatever kindness or gifts are offered my way for that one month's time, and allowing myself to simply want stuff in peace

here is my compiled wishlist of stuff, if you'd like to give me a present, card, letter, whathaveyou

and here's my kofi, if you'd just like to leave me a tip

as always, there’s no obligation to do anything for me! i will always value any and every kind of support and encouragement. thank all yall so much for everything, especially with this past year being an extra difficult one for me ❤️ thank you so much for even just being around, and i hope you have a lovely day, whenever you read this!!

#i feel awkward and guilty and stuff anyways but i'm a doll of my word #just like i swore to a friend to always leave tips open on my invoices i will always allow myself to be treated for one (1) month each year #thank you again

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kalied0skull · 6 days ago

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I ask 19 and 34: ‘how old were you when you found out santa wasn’t real?’ And ‘what’s your book/movie/tv guilty pleasure?’

silly ask game

chewing on you thankyou for keeping the ask game going i kinda forgot about it already bc no one else sent anything in

19. I THINK I ALWAYS??? KINDA KNEW??? I'm pretty sure i learned for sure though when i was about 5 or 6 though, because it was explained to me he wasn't real very early on — as was most things, but i still had the joy and whimsy of being there for every event 💀

this is funnily enough one of the question i always ask myself because i can never remember the story to it, but if i had to pinpoint a moment where i was fully aware he wasn't real it was probably when me and my cousin used a prank call santa claus on my younger cousin to make him cry, that shit was funny 💔

34. be more chill... IT'S SUCH A LAME ASS FUCKING STORY but oh my god i love it so bad, the novel is absolutely cringe and every ned vizzini book is just full of raunchy teenage angst and lameness but they're GOOD TO ME okay man 💔

I'm just saying that was probably one of my most fun reads, and also shout out to It's Kind Of a Funny Story also by ned vizzini because it's WORSE than BMC ...

I'm also just a bmc musical fan too, but the book has my heart 🙂‍↕️

#yapping about myself #i dunno if it's really a guilty pleasure for liking something cringe #but i also don't really know wtf the term “guilty pleasure” means #it's one of those sayings i never understand #which feels kind of awkward bc you'd think I'd know shit by now 💀#anywho #i say 5 but it could've been closer to 6 honestly just bc that number feels right

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metakirya · 2 years ago

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i ummm... i uhh... uhhh...

#my art #guilty gear #robo ky #venom #yuri #i feel kinda awkward drawing them cuz i don't know a shit bout guilty gear i just find them silly and funny #and uhh.... robo ky.... i like robots (a normal amount)

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mccoyquialisms · 3 months ago

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does anyone ever actually get fucking actively romanced. does anyone ever get pursued. is anyone ever actually confident they're actually wanted in romantic relationships. is there any hope for me at all or should I just resign myself to constantly feeling unloved in every relationship I have or give up on romance all together and be alone my entire life lol

#hey so it turns out 8 years of not getting committed to for vague reasons that ultimately boil down to 'there's something wrong about you'#really fucks you up! who'd have thought lol #and now I'm even worse off than before because I waited in vain hope for so goddamn long and now I'm Old and Undesirable #I'm 32 years old and I have no money no prospects I'm already a burden to my parents etc #and on top of that #I feel so guilty bc I KNOW my parents want to be grandparents and have resigned to not being ones and it makes me want to WEEP #god knows my sisters won't be doing it so it's all on me #i'm not even opposed to being a parent!#but mom dad I'm missing some crucial ingredients over here unless you guys get really cool with wedlock all of a sudden #and I'm TRYING I'm going on all these stupid awkward dates but it all feels so POINTLESS because #god knows I'll just end up in the same bullshit situation I just left because I love and love and no one ever loves me BACK #because the problem is ME. I'm not a person people want to keep. There's something WRONG with me.#anyway #don't mind me it's sad sack hours and my therapist is unavailable atm so you guys are my diary rn <3 #shut up keri

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thedreadvampy · 3 months ago

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honestly I've been bitterly wracked with fuckor every time someone who knew me as a teen (my best friends from school, my mum) have said something along the lines of

"yeah we were worried about you generally but obviously you were never going to develop a drug problem, you were way too Sensible*"

FUCK YOU I COULD HAVE A DRUG PROBLEM IF I WANTED TO. IT'S JUST THAT I HAVE TO BE UP IN THE MORNING FOR WORK AND IT'S SO EXPENSIVE AND WHAT IF SOMETHING GOES WRONG AND I NEED TO SOBER UP REALLY FAST TO DEAL WITH IT.

harumph. grumble grumble.

*Sensible here is being used as a shorthand for neurotically self-aware and consequence-focused not like. sensible.

#red said #otoh this is something of a self fulfilling prophecy cause the first 2 times it came up were me saying like #hey you guys got a lot of help from weed to get through the Horrors huh. how come you never offered me any?#oh we just assumed you wouldn't want to cause you were always the sensible one when we were getting wasted #BELIEVE I CAN THEN MAYBE I WILL MOTHERFUCKER #anyway at this stage i can firmly say it would have been wasted cause i don't think weed does a huge amount for me #i don't dislike it but i think the effects are mostly smoke inhalation cause i get the same thing from tobacco #coke as we've established is not for me. just makes me feel guilty and awkward at turbospeed.#so far the only winner is sensibly-sized portions of mdma and when i tried a bigger dose i didn't like being that high #so again. fuckor. these judgements are Not Wrong.

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prettyokwizard · 7 months ago

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man. I really do like drawing my guys blushing n suggestively steamy expressions ect ect but I wish I could show like, 3 people, giggle about it, and then call it a day sometimes. However, I know I need to get over those feelings. it's a ME problem

#feelings half rooted in just starting to draw like this and its a little awkward but I want to share with the enjoyers #and the other half feeling guilty for subjecting people to it with no warning #I will probably delete later. I'm just writhing in my weird feelings this morning

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s4tvrnsays · 4 months ago

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I love the miraculous trio so much they're so silly. Their entire team is glued together with Ladybug's hopes and dreams and a little bit of codependency. So beautiful

#patrol nights without ladybug are so disgustingly awkward they just end up wishing she was here until its all over #chat and cigognelle call a truce on those days just so she doesn’t feel guilty for not being there #“hey i hate you and everything you represent but lets just chill this time”#ffafw rambles #oc #mlb #miraculous ladybug #mlb oc #ml ladybug #cigognelle #ml chat noir

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jaggededges123 · 13 days ago

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man idk how to respond to someone wanting to give me prompts rn. like normally i love taking them, but... sorry, my life is unideal for now and idk when it'll get better and i already have fic-writing obligations i need to fill first and i haven't been able to do even those because i'm just trying to like, tread water emotionally

#like obviously i'm not mad or upset it's just like... awkward #because i *want* to take prompts again #i just can't because i know i won't be able to do them and then i'll feel really guilty about not being able to do it #coffee vents

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imp-thing · 2 months ago

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So I kind of just realized that I might've lost the fixation I had for Detective Grimoire, a special interest I've had for like 2 years and a half, to The Crucible. The Crucible by Arthur Miller. One of the books I read in English class.

I feel terrible but I legit can't even cry about it, not just cause I don't have the tears to cry about a past fixation that no longer gives me the adrenaline it used to, but because I lost it to something somehow more niche and stupid.

Fuck my English class nerd life

#I LOST THE FIXATION THAT SIMULTANEOUSLY SAVED AND RUINED MY LIFE. TO A FUCKING PLAY #ALL CAUSE I WAS ASSIGNED TO PLAY JOHN PROCTOR FOR THE DRAMATIC READING #on a more serious note this feels so odd #like i made my entire presence online to surround being obsessed with detective grimoire #now that my not as fixated on it as I used to I can't help but feel this empty somberness of grief #these games used to mean so much to me and in a way they still do but now I feel bad cause they don't make me violently happy anymore #I not only grew emotionally attached to the games but to said emotional attachment #again now that it's gone it feels so weird. what do I even do with myself now? normally I wouldn't care but for some reason I do #of course I still like the games but it's just a regular interest now if anything. it feels so awkward and weird #again apart of me feels lost and guilty. which is silly I know. but again these games used to mean a lot to me. like. a LOT.#well. sadness rant over. crucible shitposting will continue tomorrow.#detective grimoire #the crucible #autism special interest #special interest #hyperfixation #rant

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xxplastic-cubexx · 5 months ago

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do u think either charles or erik had trouble coming to terms with their love for one another?? like religious guilt, internalized homophobia, etc.

Many such cases really … not hard to imagine them dealin with that …

#snap chats #erik might depend tho. depends on when he realizes hes in love with charles #before going Full Magneto i can imagine SOME internalized guilt but post prob not #under the whole ‘why be ashamed of what i am in ANY regard’ and all that #charles def probably has a worse time dealing with feelings of guilt #tho thats just charles in general being in love with someone i fear fjOWDJAKS #i cant imagine gender has anything to do with it tho. just charles Being Charles #hang on im sitting here thinking about it now #i think charles and erik wouldnt DOUBT the love they have for each other just- again depending on what era of erik this is- may be hesitant #magneto erik reads more as Bitterly in love with charles do you know what i mean #like ‘i love you and its painful i love you because of how incompatible we are now’ type shit #charles got that tired divorced-but-still-in-love dad energy about him towards magneto #fuck i was supposed to talk about their First Feelings Of Love im so off topic djOAZJSJ #my brain refuses to think of them younger than their thirties im so sorry let me try again #yeah no i could see them both accept the fact they have feelinfs about each other but for one reason or another not act on it #esp if they were with gab at the time. Oops. its kinda awkward now #in THAT RESPECT THEN i can see charles feeling conflicted and a little guilty #ditto on eriks part if he acknowledges charles’ feelings for gab #but without gab in the picture? i could see charles making a move and not being so ashamed of himself #maybe. after some time together i do see charles making the first move #would erik reciprocate and admit his feelings in that moment ? maybe not. give him like. a day or two tho diOEDJSJ #i typed all that bullshit for nothing sorry i put the answer at rhe very bottom we know how i am at this point #see now i just imagine charles talking to erik about accepting his queerness and erik getting snooty #like No Erik Im Not Saying This So You’ll Date Me I’m Saying This So You Love Yourself or something to that tune #and charles is truthful in that hes all about helping others accept themselves. and thats exactly why erik falls harder in love with him 😔#and then they make out sloppy style the end

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tariah23 · 1 year ago

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Man, I still remember participating in one of the many jjba zines that I took part in and how my piece was placed as the first page (for the second time) and how one of my mutuals/artists that I’ve always admired, hit me with the “oh… you’re on the front page again… 😅…” like man, that kind of killed me lmfao. I never got over it like man, what was that about.