#I feel weirdly peaceful
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Had a psychologically revealing work dream about leadership insecurity and anxiety set in an abandoned shopping mall. While I was walking towards the exit just before I woke up, a circle pit formed behind and technically distantly ahead of me around a large empty display area. I was the leader and I was bad at setting an example but I tried and people followed!
#what a layered dream#I feel weirdly peaceful#most of my dreams are just random bullshit or amazing stories or fucking terrifying#I woke up from this one feeling like I learned something#maybe my brain was like enough dicking around#make this OBVIOUS#dream#dreams#all the subtlety of a sledgehammer#I wasn’t working retail in the dream#I was going through some kind of interview with an old coordinator at my current job#where she acted annoyed and like I was very blatantly hurting my career by not being confident in my growth and skills#it wasn’t like she was trying to boost my confidence she was like oh it says here you’ve improved on this#can you explain why you haven’t#PHEW#jesspost
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idk if this will mean anything to anybody or will reach the right audience But in the off chance it does-
I used to post art all the time, my username was @reegis and I used to draw a ton of mechanisms fanart??
I was (and still am ngl) having a lot of health issues and logged out because i was overwhelmed and really needed a break that I assumed would only be temporary. its a Very long story but tldr- was logged out, new phone, email accounts didnt transfer over like id thought they would, absolutely no clue what email id used for the blog, tumblr Shockingly not helpful about it.
I only recently started drawing again, and got an overwhelming amount of encouragement from my friends to start posting instead of just keeping to myself.
probably none of that makes sense to anybody!
but if you happen to recognize that username hi! i miss you and im sorry for disappearing
#cant believe i didnt think to do this sooner aau#ik its still basically a call into the void sjdjfjf but maybe if i tag it mechanisms 🤔#or maybe its super past my bedtime lmao#if somehow you Do know my old account ily#not sure theres like. an actual point to this except me missing my old moots and also like#i think itd feel weirdly like betraying my old account if i didnt mention it at some point idk#may it rest in peace ig 😭 tumblr give it back to me#the mechanisms
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Disconnect
#yes I watched the episode aigis op!!#persona 3 reload#persona 3#persona#the song is growing on me#I didn't fall in love with it instantly the way I did with the other songs but#it's weirdly memorable...#doodle#I'm actually not that sad because upon having played the actual game-I learned he was genuinely at peace. the protagonist is satisfied#he did his best and is happy and content about it all. that's what I learned.. I felt those emotions really well#such a beautiful game this is#the sad part is the loss that the others feel
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69 kinks AFOMachia Number 58
58. scent | wc: ~400
All for One grew up surrounded by trash. He used to wear trash. He hadn’t known to be disgusted by it until he confronted that glowing child from China, who’d scrunched his nose up and ignored the fresh blood splattered on All for One’s face and clothes, instead insulting All for One for bringing in the scent of the unwashed masses into his sterile fortress of a home.
Yoichi once accused him of obsessing over his appearance, paying tailors and luxuriating in expensive products, especially if they were scented.
He was reasonably vain.
He was not, as almost every instinct insisted he do, going to shove Machia off the bed for sticking his nose against the sweaty hollow of All for One’s throat and taking a deep, satisfied breath. But his hands spasmed.
“What are you doing?” he demanded. He tried to reassure himself that Machia was totally obedient and loyal, that adding the third meta ability (which had the particularly apt name of Dog) couldn’t be the one that broke this follower’s faith. But when Machia licked All for One’s flesh and groaned, All for One repeated his question at a higher pitch.
“My Lord,” said Machia, sounding dazed. “The doctor--he trained me to detect you by your scent, but all he had were your clothes, and your clothes had you, but it wasn’t really you--”
All for One grabbed a handful of Machia’s wild hair, preventing him from nuzzling the space between his pectoral muscles or even possibly lower than that. “Make sense, Machia.”
The pupils in his eyes were blown wide. Machia spoke in a rumble, a low register that vibrated All for One’s heart, “Your scent. There is nothing artificial affecting it now.” Though Machia did not have a face predisposed to joy, he smiled like he’d been given a priceless gift.
“... What do I smell like?”
Machia’s smile cracked into a wry grin. “Sex, my Lord.”
He scoffed to hide his relief. “So I do. But is there truly nothing unique to note? I’ve read plenty of literature that insists on people smelling like strawberries, or coffee, or even freshly-baked goods without the help of perfume.”
“Hmm.” Another deep inhale. “I cannot describe it well. I only know for certain that it belongs solely to you.”
All for One turned his eyes to the ceiling. Absently, he loosened his hold and carded his fingers through the shaggy mess that Machia called a hairstyle. Machia relaxed. He was a heavy weight, sprawled on top of All for One. “Like rot and ruin, I’ve been told.”
“Surface smells,” Machia replied, dismissive. “Whoever told you so, ignore them. They did not have my nose.”
#bnha#afomachia#all for one#gigantomachia#shih.txt#asks#anon#weirdly sweet for these two. ah well.#the glowing child did not live long#so i really feel obligated to make him deeply fucking annoying; spoiled; and sheltered#like okay sure. 10 million followers and a self-imposed mission of 'peace' and 'returning society back to normal'?#(1) that's an influencer baby (2) he got the buddha treatment but did not have the space to actually achieve spiritual enlightenment
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saoirse ronan in 2016. this is one of my favorite photos of anyone ever really. if you imagine me as a concept, whatever that means, this is it.
#i can't even properly describe it tbh#i love everything about it and that's what i wish for myself i guess be at peace in this light and mood#i also love saoirse so that's an added bonus haha#and the joanna pic you're all thinking about that too but i feel older and there are other joanna pics that feel so me it's scary lol#anyway#this is the most random an weirdly personal post but i feel insane today for some reason so come be insane with me#saoirse ronan#c'est moi#p
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House of M: Avengers (Vol. 1/2007), #5.
Writer: Christos N. Gage; Penciler: Mike Perkins; Inker: Andrew Hennessy; Colorist: Raul Trevino; Letterer: Rus Wooton
#Marvel#Marvel comics#Marvel 58163#House of M: Avengers#Moon Knight comics#Moon Knight#Marc Spector#Iron Fist#Danny Rand#I guess I wanted to give these panels their own post because there’s just….something about them I wanted to discuss more#this is diving dangerously close to «personal opinion» territory (so please feel free to ignore all that follows)#but I guess I just wish this point had been developed a bit more because for the past 5 issues Marc’s refused to change because the cowl’s#«spiritual significant» to him and I’m (again personally) of the idea that something that important to someone is not easily foregone#idk this is probably stemming more from the long conversations I’ve had about «when outward displays of faith become dangerous#when should you start changing what you do? Should you ever? Is it a greater show of faith to continue on despite the danger?#Do you only practice in secret? Or is doing whatever you must to survive a greater show of endurance#living and working to make the necessary changes within the system so that one day you might be able to practice openly in peace?»#sorry for getting philosophical and sorry for being perhaps unfair to a friggin comic book particularly for a minor character#but I’m feeling a little uncharitable because I was dodging violence against women/close up shots of women’s rears this entire series#(if this post looks a little weirdly cropped it’s because I chose to exclude the panel where unlike what Danny + Marc get here#there’s a very male-gaze look at Angela and Felicia undressing)#and again! (at least on that second point because that might have been entirely Perkins’ doing) I might be being a little unfair#but that sort of content doesn’t inspire me to believe that the creators were asking complex questions when they had Marc hang up his#spiritually significant hood but maybe were thinking things like «is spirituality really /that/ significant compared to tactical efficacy?»#something that…gets me when about a guy who has demonstrated that spirituality is uniquely/complexly important to him#anyway this is entirely my opinion on something that is very much up to reader interpretation so please ignore me rambling#(and quite possibly simply blowing things completely out of proportion) in the tags hahaha
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Easter Greetings by the President of Ukraine
youtube
Great People of Great Ukraine!
Today we celebrate a significant holiday — the Resurrection of the Lord. Easter. Easter symbolizes the liberation of the human soul from the slavery of evil and darkness. It symbolizes the victory of goodness and justice, the victory of life over death.
We have been fighting for all of this for 802 days in a row. 802 days of freedom standing up to darkness, valor standing up to terror. 802 days of our resistance, which can be described by the words from the Gospel of John: "The light shines in the darkness, and the darkness has not overcome it…"
The exact same words are dedicated to one of the exhibitions at St. Sophia Cathedral, where I am now. Together, this exhibition and the other works by various Ukrainian artists convey a deep meaning. These are the icons on ammunition boxes. They are saturated with the smoke of our land and the spirit of our people. They are the symbols of great trials and great power that helps us overcome them. Each of these icons is like a divine manifestation, a proof that the heavens are with us, an answer to the question of why Ukrainians have withstood. It is because in the most difficult circumstances and in the darkest times we are able to create light. We can do it on boards scorched by fire and grief, that came from Ukrainian cities and villages exhausted by suffering. We can do this by combining the seemingly incompatible: the war and the Lord, by overcoming evil with faith, overcoming adversity with hope.
When taking a closer look at these icons, one can understand the feelings of our entire nation. It's a mirror that reflects our reality in times of war, the path we have already taken, and this Easter, and our entire present. This is what our amulets look like today. This is how we feel that God is protecting us through the hands of our warriors. This is how we see the protection of the heavenly forces, embodied in the Security and Defense Forces of Ukraine, every Ukrainian who devotes themself to the sacred cause of defending their native land from darkness and evil.
These icons bear the names of heroes who sacrificed their lives to protect us. They showed that Ukrainians kneel only to pray. And never do they kneel in front of invaders and occupiers.
The Bible teaches us to love our neighbor. And the present has shown us the true meaning of this word. When we support and help each other even hundreds of kilometers away from one another. We protect each other. We pray for each other. When we all have become closer to each other, we have become each other's neighbors. And our former neighbor, who was always making us take him for a brother, remains distant from us for centuries. They have broken all the commandments, coveted our house, and come to kill us. The world sees it.
God knows it. And we believe that there is a chevron with the Ukrainian flag on the shoulder of God. Therefore, with such an ally, life will definitely prevail over death.
As we overcome a common path and experience common pain, we are all united today by one common prayer. We pray for all our warriors who are celebrating Easter in the trenches and on the positions. We pray for our warriors of light, who restrain demons in all directions. We pray for those who keep another commandment in their lives: to defend Ukraine. We pray that they all come back alive.
We pray for all our civilians who work hard every day to strengthen our state and ensure that it successfully overcomes evil. We pray for those who live and work for this purpose.
We pray for all our children, for all the boys and girls brave far beyond their years, whose childhood was stolen from them by Russia, but who, despite everything, have not forgotten how to smile and believe in miracles.
We pray for all our mothers and fathers who were robbed of a happy, peaceful aging, and who, despite everything, are holding on and taking care of us.
We pray for all our cities and villages, that should feel the Lord's grace, not the constant terror of evil, and which have black clouds hanging over them, and bombs and missiles coming from those who belong in hell, not in the Ukrainian sky.
We pray for our lands and our people, whose spirit cannot be broken. And we remember the words written in St. Sophia Cathedral above the Oranta image, which came true in our lives: "God is in the midst of the city, and it will not be shaken. God will help it before dawn.”
Today, we are praying for all Ukrainians who are waiting for this dawn and will certainly see it. They will find peace, truth, and God, who will return to the scorched land, the land scarred with craters and trenches. He will return with peace, tranquility, and flowers instead of mines in the fields. He will return with children's laughter instead of the roar of an air alarm. The light that will return to all of our Lord-given land, to all the territories that are temporarily occupied by the devils. God will return to Mariupol. To the slag heaps and the seashores. It has always been so. It will definitely be so. I believe in this every day, especially on this glorious day in this glorious place, the history of which reminds us that neither the Horde invasion, nor the Nazi occupation, nor the Russian terror will be able to wipe us off the face of the Earth.
May the heavens strengthen our will in the battle against thralldom. May they give us courage for new achievements and wisdom to appreciate all that we have already gained. May they give us the strength to maintain unity, and give us unity to enhance our strength. May God grant eternal rest to all those who gave their lives for Ukraine and everlasting peace to their descendants, to all our children and grandchildren, and to all our future generations. They have the sacred right to know what a peaceful Easter in a peaceful Ukraine is.
Today we pray for it and we fight for it.
And the light shines in the darkness...
Happy Easter to all of you, dear Ukrainians!
Christ is risen!
He is risen indeed!
#what a touching and moving greeting#perfect words again after over 800 days of full-scale war#always amazes me how he and his team are able to (still) do this#the shade at russia and all the “russia is your neighbour” people...#also loved the images he painted with his words#god wears a ukraine chevron...#for some reason this easter greeting felt a lot like the on in 2022#maybe because the situation feels so weirdly similiar#lets hope this also means the same successes for ukraine and they can liberate land#i love how he always talks about the “we”#including all of his people#these videos are never about him and praising himself#theyre always about ukraine and its people in the end#a servant of his people i have said it before and i will say it till the end#this man breathes and lives for his country and his country alone#he is committed to it and his goal and only that#ready to sacrify himself if necessary to give them peace and a future#his people and all the kids of ukraine and with this also his kids#he may be small but he is one of the greatest#i always have to think back to that one interview where he said he wants to be of use#he wants to feel needed#he really wants to change something for the better#and he does#and he is needed so so much#even though this is the worst period of his time and he has to give up and sacrify the dearest thing to him#he probably finds his purpose in it#may he find peace and calm afterwards#surrounded by friends and family to grow old#Youtube#volodymyr zelensky
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i got my pathology results back at my one week post-surgery appointment with my oncologist yesterday and all the margins looked good with no evidence of lymphatic spread, which means there's no need for radiation or chemo atm - instead i'll be having imaging done every three months to watch for any recurrence and we'll go from there 🙃
#by all accounts great news and i'm definitely very lucky#i feel weirdly blah about it all#i think because i first got diagnosed right before finals week and pretty immediately had to start planning for surgery#so i just flat out didn't have enough time or bandwidth to process it properly#but now i'm in a couple week break from school and the surgery's done#and since i'm still laid up *from* the surgery i'm doing a lot of just lying around.....thinking™.........very dangerous#my oncologist mentioned they have a survivorship group with a doctor who helps you navigate the 'new normal' of it all#and how to get back to living without constantly worrying about the rug getting pulled out from under you again#honestly i might need some of that#she's having me do some genetic testing too so that might help give me some peace of mind for my risks for recurrence/other cancers#cancer //#medical //
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i'm a woman but only in the way where sometimes a male musician from the late 90s/early 00s decides to write from a woman's perspective but that's not immediately clear until they say "i'm a woman" in the lyrics and you immediately google whether the musician is trans and the answer is no but you've already decided to relate to the song in a trans way anyway
#this post is about 2 songs: ''your woman'' by white town and ''fifty eight'' by the customers#obsessed with that second song lately tbh it unlocked secret emotions in me lmao#''some men do right / and some men do wrong / but i'm a woman and i'll do what i want''#''i've got some big ideas now / just like when i was young / i'm gonna find ya‚ kill ya‚ move on''#like. no idea if this was the song's actual intent but it resonates with me in the sense of allowing yourself to be angry on behalf of your#younger self who wasn't able to feel anger back then‚ and even more than that being angry enough that you're like ''i will destroy them''#but recognizing peace doesn't come from ''killing them'' it comes from moving on and not having to worry about them anymore#anyway i literally only found that song bc i'm making a playlist where ever song title is a number#and between this and ''29'' by demi lovato it's become a weirdly cathartic playlist regarding one specific person
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//my favorite thing lately has been scrubbing the internet for decades old samurai jack edits and amvs and watching them. there’s so much love for samurai jack in them, faith that he would be back to finish his tale one day, and it fits perfectly with the time it came out lol. the edits aren’t as great as they would be with technology nowadays and the music is often linkin park but there’s always an open love for Jack and the series in there. and there’s something about seeing people love Jack even when it’s not at it’s most angsty, when it’s just seasons 1-4, without the novelty, without anything else to focus on but what makes Jack Jack.
#『 out of robes 』#samurai jack#ok to rb#//I love season 5 but man. it’s so saturated it feels like people forget that’s not Jack’s natural state#//Jack isn’t John Wick. weirdly controversial statement lol#//jack at his core is an honorable gentle kind and good man. the gruff and sharp exterior was forged and is necessary#//but he doesn’t LIKE fighting. he wants peace. he seeks a peaceful solution before he fights#//he’s an extremely well trained and steely warrior don’t get me wrong. he kicks ass and he takes a measure of pride in his abilities#//but s5 is the furthest he is from himself. the show even acknowledges that. Jack loses himself (understandably)#//it’s hard to put into words idk I feel like I’m going in all directions here but like#//the essence is that there’s a difference in the way jack fights and survives in s1-4 and the fighting and survival of s5#//there’s a balance there. Jack hasn’t gotten rid of the kind young man underneath the warrior he fights USING that#//meanwhile in season 5 he thinks that’s lost forever and loses himself in being a weapon and brutal survival#//there’s something that significantly lessens the impact of s5 when all people focus on is Jack at his worst#//ignoring how he started#//bc the thing that’s significant to me about samurai jack ISNT the incredible fight scenes and badass moments#//it’s the quiet. it’s the gentleness. it’s the tenacity to do good no matter how much BAD is done to you.#//no matter how much you have to sacrifice. refusing to leave anyone behind#//there was truly nothing like the original samurai Jack series and there never will be again.#//a main character in an action series who is quiet gentle honorable respectful and kind and stubbornly hopeful no matter what#//the fact that Jack isn’t what you’d expect from someone in his position. that even when he stumbles even when he’s angry#//he refuses to let others get hurt. he can be grouchy and prickly and stoic but he’s still showing he cares through his actions.#//the thing that is most important in Jack’s story is always that he doesn’t stay broken. that every sacrifice he made#//every loss he felt and everytime he helped others at his own expense wasn’t for nothing#//that every single action he took sowed the seeds of hope that meant he would be lifted up in return#//as Jack’s father said ‘your castle is strong.’
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A girl fell asleep with her head on my shoulder on the bus today
#no innuendo btw#it was not a yearning I was aware needed to be satisfied#the bus was packed there were people standing in the aisle and everybody was just super tired#she had long hair and it touched my hand#it was weirdly calming and peaceful#like I’m really going out and about in the world as someone a stranger who just goes to my school feels safe falling asleep upon#but tbh if we are both tired on the bus and we both spent all day studying and now we’re going back to campus and the sun is going down#yes you are my sister it is not awkward to lean against me and doze off ok.
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Got a paramount+ trial subscription. Just finished watching all of Strange New Worlds (review: solid star trek shenanigans, pretty much all bangers with the exception of the Spock-is-human episode which just suuuuuucked and the Klingon war trauma episode about which I have let's say Philosophical Reservations in that it could have been more Space M*A*S*H. not as gay as I was promised, in fact I would say disappointingly heterosexual. adore uhura, hemmer and la'an. cannot believe they gorned my boy 😢)
Off sick all week with COVID can't really do anything except lie around and watch TV.
#red said#an addendum to the snw review is like#bearing in mind I'm a big time ds9 guy#i really like every episode of this i think it's fun and delightful. however there are certain philosophical undercurrents I'm#at best kind of iffy on. wrt militarism.#there's points where it feels sort of like the message of the show is that it's naive and harmful to seek peace#or reconciliation#and i think that if i hold it up to tng or ds9 or even tos on that front that's a philosophy that doesn't match up with what i like in trek#like both ds9 and tng are very much about commanders doing extrajudicial war crimes but there's something about the framing#i guess like. it feels To Me like when sisko does a war crimes it weighs very heavily on him#whereas idk. it feels like the message of all the time shenanigans in snw keep coming round to You Should Feel Bad For Not Doing War Crimes#and particularly the arc with Pike staring down his fate concluding with 'you shouldn't try to change this'#compared to like. the foundation of Star Trek being 'in between two unacceptable solutions you have to look for a third way'#it sits a bit wrong for me. like. maybe they're planning more on that but it feels like they've concluded that arc with#'guess i have to let people die to prevent a future where i try to make peace then fuck it up'#like the message of season 1 is You Can't Change Your Fate which is. a weirdly doomery one.#don't get me wrong I've really been enjoying snw i think it's probably the most flat out Good Star Trek since DS9#buuuuuuuut. i have Reservations. as i always do.#also callout post for my pal saying this is the gayest star trek. there's no fucking gays here and the nonbinary character is a 1-ep villain#i mean ortega is for sure a dyke but not explicitly#2 seconds of Andrew Robinson and Alexander Siddig sharing the screen in DS9 is gayer than this whole season and a half of SNW#literally are ANY of this cast canon queer? feel like there's a couple of lines of throwaway bisexuality but be real#we had that in the 90s#it's not toppling DS9 for gay rep any time soon and DS9 was made in the era where you weren't ALLOWED to be gay on star trek#(unless you were evil or a worm)
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i’m losing it
#Guys. Guys.#i refuse to uhaul this relationship bc i Rly want it to work#but she is just. genuinely incredible#i am going to fall so hard my feelings for her are already so strong and so are hers :(#she’s genuinely everything i cdve ever wished for in a person & soon to be partner if all goes well and makes me feel so safe#i feel lucky as hell & every time we text or call or hang out together i feel so at peace#thank u universe bc how the hell did i stumble across this#also she went to my college so we wouldve crossed paths probably hundreds of times and never knew#now here we are nearly 5 years later and the timing of absolutely everything cd not be more perfect#it’s just wild. theres so many insane coincidences#and ill never get over her matching my energy shes just like me fr <- both mildly insane and obsessed w each other#we keep hallucinating each others perfume man 😭 im so done for#valentina talks#Sorry guys once we get over the honeymoon period ill probs talk less abt her (lying)#ive never been so sure abt anything like i am abt her and it’s so effortless and easy to be honest and we’re both whores for communication#like when i say the energy is matched it’s Matched. it feels so healing 😭#im obsessed but i also know its early days so im not saying it’s gonna remain this good but like. i feel weirdly confident in it. idk im#trusting my gut tbh. things only fuck up when i Dont trust my gut sdgsjfhs#my lover
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it’s officially midnight over here which means i’m officially 30 years old... feels weird to say but here we are
goodbye youth, hello wisdom 🍾
#i feel weirdly serene about it after spending most of the year leading to it freaking out but i’m happy with my life so i've decided#i'm at peace with being 'old'#let's do this!
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TW for talk of funerals and grief down here 🖤
#my grandma's funeral was this week#and weirdly i feel so calm about it all now#for ages i couldn't process that she was gone#but now i feel less sad and so much more at peace with the fact that she's in a better place#i feel like i can finally move on from grieving now and start remembering the happy times rather than crying every time someone mentions her#anyway it feels like it'll never get better but it turns out it does a bit
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soso tired of thin girls dressing in "hippie" clothes on instagram
#like do you understand my issue with these people#maybe not with the people but with how weirdly white and thin all are on the damned hippie hashtag#it feels very?? idk doesnt feel very peace and love when the point of their phoyos is to show off how flat their stomachs are#maybe im unfair abt this but like where are the fat hippie girls??? i need you fat hippie girls#its almost as if being a hippie is treated as a fashion style by many people online#vik complains#but like actually complaining this time
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