#I feel very stupid and like I wasted my time for no reason
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aside from Adora and Catra...
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Glimmer - too much potential wasted. her relationship with her mother is never fully realized and developed, her friendship with Bow feels oddly surface-level and like it's relevant only because Glimbow is a thing, and i personally don't like how the whole conflict between her, Adora, and Shadow Weaver was written.
Bow - the black best friend, nothing more to him. every opportunity of development was wasted, and he just ends up being a supporter for everyone else ( mostly his lighter-skinned friends ) with no arc, no importance, and no actual happy conclusion beyond ending up with Glimmer, who he had no legitimate romantic chemistry with. his backstory and the arc he had were so interesting to me, but no one did anything with them. that, and he honestly wasn't as angry or on guard with everyone as he should've been, in my opinion.
Mermista - i would've thought she was just another black stereotype, but she's apparently Southeast Asian, so never mind that, i guess. predictable, doesn't seem to care for Salineas at all, her relationship with Sea Hawk is forced and creepy, the only time i've seen her invested ( as far as i recall ) in anything was when Salineas was destroyed, which she didn't care about after 5 minutes, and the stupid Mermysteries episode.
Sea Hawk - unfunny, nonsensical, and creepy. serves no purpose other than to be a romantic interest for Mermista and occasional supposed comedic relief.
Perfuma - eugh. toxic positivity, two-faced, and simply a hypocrite. none of these issues are realized or resolved, resulting in her spouting bullshit about friendship and its 'powers' while she continues treating people she doesn't like ( namely Entrapta ) like trash. completely oblivious or willingly ignorant and irresponsible with Plumeria.
Entrapta - very much wasted potential. severely infantilized by both the writers and cast, even in her design, only considered 'morally grey' because her 'low empathy' ( i tried to look up the scientific name, but all that came up were misinterpretations of autistic people, NPD, sociopaths, and psychopaths, so. ) isn't portrayed well and misrepresents, and it gives a bad taste in my mouth that her time in Beast Island is entirely about her 'not understanding friendship' and not at all about the fact she was betrayed and sent to die. i'm equally for villain or reformed Entrapta, either one is very nice to see from other creators.
Frosta - gonna be honest, though i prefer her character introduction over how she is in the rest of the show, she's kinda an ass for no reason. kinda felt like they were trying to make a 'Toph' like character without understanding Toph at all. there's no explanation for why she feels the Horde isn't a threat to her, especially considering that the two noticeably Horde members ( Catra and Scorpia ) invaded only because Frosta let them, then pinned the blame on Adora for 'causing a scene' at her party?
Spinerella & Netossa - we don't know much about them, and we know nothing about their Kingdoms. literally nothing. we know Net is a strategist and doesn't take shit from anybody ( even if that only came s5 ), but Spin doesn't seem to have... much going for her? i didn't like the "calm lighter person angry darker person" thing they did, that wasn't cute, and i didn't like the thought of Netossa using the fact that Spinerella was involved in a cult and chipped as a way to avoid doing chores in the future.
Scorpia - honestly, there's so much we don't know about her that it drives me nuts. i really wish that we had Catra actually earn something for once, and it would've been awesome ( and tragic, considering s3-s4 ) if it was Scorpia's love, trust, and respect. a lot of her lore is just said, not even really referenced or implied, and hardly ever shown, if at all. and i would've loved her to be called out for her enabling by someone other than Lonnie, since... well, that's kinda just hypocrisy, isn't it?
Angella - ohhh, how she hurts me ( /pos ). one of the better written characters, but still had wasted potential and should've been respected much more, even if it wasn't going to be by Glimmer. dying // being trapped between dimensions while believing that you had been a coward all this time when you actually weren't and not being able to reunite with your husband because he turns out not to be dead is fucking tragic, and, at the very least, her death deserved to be respected and remembered.
Micah - uhh, man, where do i begin with this one? kooky man trope in the beginning, that wasn't cute. don't even recall why he was on Beast Island to begin with. he only got to grieve his wife for a minute or two. the rest of his character either has to do with just being a dad ( when Glimmer isn't even there ) or being chipped, so yay. also, for a supposedly women empowering show, they changed Castaspella from being one of the best sorcerers on Etheria to Micah. and also made them related, with him being the older brother. hm.
Castaspella - speaking of. she's just the unbearable aunt until s5, and even then, she doesn't have much relevance to the plot. the show also made her dynamic with Shadow Weaver fucking weird for no reason. just make them similar ages, if that's the case, you cretins. there's not much input from her about Micah's supposed death, even though, according to the show, Angella doesn't talk to her, for some reason.
Shadow Weaver - RAAAAAH ( /pos )!!! i'mma say it, she was another one of the better written characters and i love her. that said, she does fall under the 'would you look at that, your racism is showing' still, for similar reasons to Hordak and Horde Prime. basically, the bad people... the colonizers... are black. yeah. okay. also, demonizing disfigurement ( ableism ) is not cute, go fuck yourself 🤍.
Hordak - wasted potential, 100%, and could've been an angsty badass bastard if it weren't for how weak the writers made his character. instead of a domineering, powerful lord, he's kinda just a sad blanket that's sometimes cruel and effective. also deals with the racism and ableism issue, wooo.
Horde Prime - ...he's boring, made to sound smarter than he actually is, and falls under the racism ( and potentially under the ableism? ) category, second verse same as the first.
Wrong Hordak - i don't appreciate how he was never taken seriously, in terms of his traumas and struggling to come to terms with it, meanwhile everyone was catering to Catra's. that, and i don't like his name. i prefer calling him 'Horro'.
Lonnie - angry black woman trope. again. is also a bully, never gets that resolved, and somehow ends up with her victim and her enabler?
Rogelio - ... i don't know what to say about him, to be honest, aside from him enabling Lonnie's bullying and not really having a reason for it, considering he's supposedly Kyle's friend. oh, and the fact the only mute character ( apparently he has a speech impediment??? but i don't recall him ever talking??? ) is a big lizard is also not cute.
Kyle - 'everyman' trope, but i love him, and he deserves better than the abuse he faces for literally just existing, and i love when people acknowledge him. i genuinely feel like he deserved either a way out or a villain arc, i don't care how unserious it sounds.
DT - 🤮!!! only non-binary character is a lizard, a creep, act smarter than they are, and simply a plot device for future Catra angst and setting up drama between other characters for no reason.
Flutterina // Peekablue - does it even matter? they're not even real, apparently. ...okay, fine. Flutterina is just a damsel in distress who's pretended ( by the writers ) to be bigger just because it's DT in disguise, and Peekablue could've saved me a lot of headaches if he was introduced to the series earlier. but then again, they never used his abilities when he was introduced, so never mind.
Huntara - repeat after me, everybody: 🎉WASTED POTENTIAL🎉 just like the Crimson Waste, Huntara's character isn't ever explored beyond one episode and, half of the time, it's not even taken that seriously. she could've been an interesting foil or parallel to Adora.
Mara - tragedy. pure tragedy. i think there were a lot of missing details, but i still really like her character and her story ( except for the finale, but i honestly don't consider that the real her? maybe i'm just nitpicking and favoring, though ), and i will always believe she deserved better.
Light Hope - this might get me some heat, but i think she deserved better, too. i would've loved if her character was taken to a 'chained by protocol' route ( COUGHtotally not because i did the same thingCOUGH- ), especially since there were moments we saw her warmth and friendliness, and her attempt to comfort Adora was always kinda nice for me. i get that most people don't like her, or only like her because of her interactions with Mara, but after knowing of how she ( he ) was in the original, i feel like she was wasted and used as an obstacle.
Madame Razz - uhhh... i mean, kooky old grandma trope. once again, lots of waste of potential, especially considering i'm pretty sure that, in the original show, she's the reason the Rebellion could even hide in the Whispering Woods in the first place? or at least part of the reason.
Swift Wind - i prefer elegance and wittiness over this, sorry not sorry.
Imp - i mean. he's. there. that's kinda it.
Melog - deserved sooooo much more than just being Catra's therapy cat. lore was never utilized, the entirely wrong person was comforting them ( Catra. you cannot tell me an overtly aggressive, hostile person would be able to actually help an alien creature that doesn't trust anyone. especially since Catra has no positive relationships. why is she suddenly calm in the face of someone she attacked? ), and they're just an excuse for a 'shipper friend'. that, and i really wish that Melog was able to have an amazing transformation after Adora heals them, like in the original. Melog could've been a great friend to Adora and co. and a powerful asset to the Rebellion. someone talked about the possible trans metaphors Melog could've had and i am FERAL.
essentially, the show's writing is basically:
you had potential. and you fucked it up.
#spop#she ra#spop salt#spop critical#spop criticism#spop critique#spop discourse#anti catra#anticatra
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As the end of the year approaches, I find myself thinking I probably looked very silly wanting to become one of these IDW Sonic cover artists. At the same time, I found a very close family member is probably mega racist and very, very toxic. One thing is more important than the other, but they are both things that I loved but I probably should let go.
And I don't know in which direction to walk away.
#text#vent#I feel very stupid and like I wasted my time for no reason#using tumblr because the public is pretty small in here#this family member might have planted the seeds for so many interpersonal problems I have today.#And I thought things go well because I spent so long away from them and surely I had the attitude and words for things to go well now!#But I only had the knowledge to realize there was never hope
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#ive been stressing all day about a purchase i'm not even making lol#i have mental problems sjfmsjg#no but for real i was reviewing the tablet i had decided on to buy in the distant future#and found out it's actually not very good for drawing which is the sole reason i want to get a tablet#and i got physical symptoms of anxiety and dread as if i had wasted money#on a thing I DIDN'T BUY#but then i found another tablet which is good for drawing and it's a bit more expensive#and once again i got the anxiety levels of someone being hunted for sport#for another product I DIDN'T BUY#but it's just this horrible timing thing that's making me anxious#because it's a lot of money that i have to spend on this#and I don't have a regular income#and my country's economy is hell to the point that by tomorrow the price could double without warning#and there's also there's some sales coming so maybe i should wait til then#but then also i have to catch the sale and the product i want#and also the holidays are coming so the price might spike up#and i never know when the correct time to buy anything is!!#and this folks is why I don't gamble lol#no but for real... i have been panicking all day and I don't even have a proper reason#i could also live without the tablet very well so it feels like a waste of money in general#so...#i have issues with spending money...#especially because I don't know when it's gonna be the next time i get work#could be next week... could be in six months... could be never again...#if i just could get hired for a proper project woth a decent pay...#ahhh the dream :')#ok i'm gonna go to bed now (if my stupid ear '''''infection'''''' lets me...)#life is hell but at least i got to boop people today <3#angel talks#personal
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I’m going to pretend I’m saying things to people I don’t like that I probably wouldn’t say to them irl in the tags
#your unwillingness to think critically about anything I say is a huge fucking drain on my energy and the way you talk to me is very#traumatic and there’s a reason I tried so hard not to come back here and it’s even more largely because of you than my fucking parents#because you’re just that much of a shit ass#ever since you got mad at mom about your Xbox you’ve become so… stupid and unenjoyable to be around#the way you treat me genuinely makes me sick to my stomach#I don’t think you care about fixing family so much as fixing the image of your family#hell freezes over the day you realize oh hey I’m family and fix your fucking self#I hate that I’m even doing this like get out of my fucking brain no like I hate it so much I can’t even express#you don’t understand how much fuCKING time I’ve wasted ruminating about your stupid ass bullshit and how traumatizing that is#you disgust me#so much#I’m so fucking pissed#At half my family#and the world just keeps spinning and my anger does nothing#because the people around me don’t interpret that as them having caused harm and needing to feel bad#it’s just bad for me to be angry at them#bhhhhhhhhhgGGGGGGGHHGGG EXPLOSING EVERYTHING WITH MY MIND FOREVER I GUESS#like I have to vent and get it out so it doesn’t rot in my brain but I fucking HATE having to even do it at all#bc no one else is like actively helping me through any of this I have to adjust and work around and hold space for having the energy to#self soothe bc no one else has done that for me#so much FUCKING waste time
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“You’re gonna die one day you’re gonna die in that stupid costume !!!” But it’s just me pointing at myself in the mirror with the voices of everyone and myself propelling it all
#it’s interesting that ppl always say stuff like that to me or exhibit concern which first of all fuck you and leave me alone#second of all like if you’re gonna act concerned actually show it properly instead of being some annoying fly buzzing around#I give ppl precisely the things I need to feel better yet they waltz around acting deaf dumb AND blind as to what I need whilst continuousl#reiterating the same stupid rhetoric of you should take care of urself and u should get some help#ykw like atp what will get into your thick skulls like do you WANT me to begin telling you abt how I always torture myself just so my#seemingly already concerning situation apparently can lead to you taking pro active steps ? because believe ME idgaf if I end up dead bc of#my habits but clearly ppl who want to comment on it at least act like they do#so go and freaking do something abt it#I’ve never seen a more hopeless population compared to the ppl in situated around#like I give you the tools and answers to what I need right in your hands#if you wish to comment abt how poorly I treat myself then don’t comment and do nothing abt it#don’t waste my time with that useless irritating talk#do something abt it. if you actually don’t care that’s totally fine bc idec myself either but I don’t want to hear a PEEP out of anyone#it’s annoying and a waste of breath bc in truth I don’t care abt the outcome of my actions towards myself#believe ME nobody knows the extents to which I treat myself and I conceal that purposely given how sensitive ppl are about that sort of thi#but do NOT act stupid and annoying around me by being all talk no action … there’s a very obvious reason why I say so often that I hatefool#dora daily
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moving every single piece of furniture in my apartment around because i am doing great in the head rn
#about to talk about recovering from my ed so please protect your sanity if reading about that would be bad for you#i feel like i'm finally snapping after about five years of trying my best to minimize how bad my everything is#probably because i've managed to eat consistently this month (a big deal bc every other time i've done this i've intended to give up and#i don't have that intention this time which is so frightening. it felt very safe being under the cloying control of disease frankly and i a#also very terrified that my stomach is just going to straight up explode or refeeding syndrome or what if i give up but#i woke up today and my skin was a normal color with no weird undertone of grey and my fingernails were pink and i felt goodweird about it.)#so now my stupid brain works and it turns out it's overwhelmed by having wasted five years of my life on trying to slowly kill myself#and all the other stuff. the reasons or whatever#meanwhile i have SO MUCH TO DO i don't have time to be recovering from anorexia!!! i have errands to run!!!!!!#i need to go to the dry cleaners and pick up my dress for the wedding i'm going to this weekend#which uhhhhh being seen. cool. cool!#i need to go to my friend who's getting married's apartment and retrieve the makeup i accidentally left there#i need to go grocery shopping#i need to go cleaning supplies shopping#i need to clean the bathroom#i have company coming and need to set up their room#all i seem to be capable of doing is moving my own furniture around#if nothing else i'm great at picking up a table and moving it to a part of my room and going 'no this is disgusting' and moving it again
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kitty keychains and pudding paybacks
best friend!minho can't help but recall memories of him and fem!reader in the middle of their grocery trip
this is part 2 of silky shorts and stained shirts
genre: fluff, smut, angst (a little), college au
warnings: MDNI! condescending dom!minho, sub!reader, reader is physically sensitive, reader is inexperienced, minho and reader are not straight, pet names, grinding, nipple play, marking, praise, dirty talk, p in v, minho has a huge dick, a bit of pain from sex (just a little), oral f receiving, fingering, minho is really possessive, minho is an idiot when it comes to feelings
w.c.: 11.9k
a/n: i swore part 2 would be sweet, smutty, and simple but my fingers slipped and now we're at 11.9k words T_T hope it isn't too much! i rlly enjoyed writing this i hope u enjoy reading it as well.
you flinch at the sudden flash of light as you stuff sushi in your mouth.
the perpetrator is across you, smiling stupidly while holding his stupid phone in his stupid hand. you notice the people who were just peacefully eating in the dim restaurant look at you both with a disapproving stare which makes you mumble out a quiet apology.
minho doesn’t seem to care, that idiot. you kick him below the table and he just giggles.
“delete that!” you whisper at him aggressively. you both know it’s useless. his phone is a growing waste of every single embarrassing picture and video clip ever taken of his friends. and as someone who’s with him like 90% of the time, you’re unfortunately 90% of his pesky camera roll.
“shh, go eat your food”, he hums, still grinning.
“i was eating until i was so rudely interrupted.”
“in my defense, i didn't know the flash was on”, he retorts confidently as if that makes it better. “and most importantly, i’m storing memories. be grateful you have such a wonderful friend to do that for you. you suck at taking photos”, he argues.
he’s right. you don’t even have a quarter of the amount of photos he has. you keep reminding yourself to take more pictures for the memories since your memory itself sucks, but you always either forget or you’re too slow to capture the moment. minho says the growing amount of keychains on your phone case were the reason you’re so slow. as if he didn’t add onto your collection with a personalized keytag of jureumi.
you watch minho watch you thinking about his words. annoying. you just poke your tongue out at him and he shakes his head at the childish display.
after a while, minho finishes his plate and you notice him eyeing yours. you already know what’s running through that pretty head of his.
by your luck or maybe his excitement from planning his attack, he accidentally drops his chopsticks.
as he’s reaching out for it under the table with a silent fuck, you insert a pretty good chunk of wasabi into the sushi and flip the piece so he won't notice.
you eat the second to the last sushi. you know he’s looking at the very last one on your plate like the greedy man he is. you drink your water to hide your grin.
like clockwork, he grabs the last sushi and shoots it in his mouth in record time, a smug look on his face just a split second before realizing his mistake.
gotcha, idiot.
you swallow your water so fast so you won’t choke from laughter at seeing how red his neck and ears are getting.
he rushes for the water and starts cursing at you. it’s your turn to take an embarrassing photo of him. you’re quick this time.
“you are evil!” he shouts, eyes a bit teary and lips red.
“if it isn’t the consequences of your own actions.”
minho continues downing liquid and you can’t help but stare. if it really isn’t the consequences of one’s actions.
his neck is all red and his lips are burning with the perfect shade of red adorning them. he’s swallowing the water and you follow the liquid that disappears past his lips and down his throat. he has such a pretty throat. you don’t understand how a person's adam’s apple can look so defined and delicious? you snap out of your staring and tell him you should head out soon for the groceries.
he nods, still glaring at you. you can tell from his faint smile he’s trying to contain that he’s not really mad.
the train to the supermarket is a bit packed. it’s the rush hour so you and minho are sitting together, both your thighs squished next to each other.
you notice minho’s ears are still red. no way he’s still affected by the wasabi? his eyes are closed and his jaw is clenched. you laugh.
“your ears are still red? that wasabi really did one on you!”
minho rolls his eyes. it’s not the wasabi. not that you should know when you’re laughing like that anyway.
you sneakily bring out your phone but he hears the little clanging of the metals and he catches you sending the photo of him in the restaurant to han jisung of all people.
he snatches your phone from your hold to try and stop you, but it was already sent so you don’t make the extra effort to get it back. you grin in success and close your eyes while waiting for your stop.
you remember the first time you saw him. it was on this train on the way to university. you decided to leave early after having one of those moments of wanting to turn your life around at 3 am.
you got aboard the 6 am train and there he was, some cute guy with glasses on and a hoodie. he had earphones on and his eyes were closed as he silently tapped his foot to whatever music he was playing. you couldn’t look away. not that you wanted to.
he had an intimidating aura to him which contrasted his cute face. you were a sucker for that so you decided to wake up early the next day too. maybe you’ll see him again.
and yet again, there he was.
you woke up earlier again the next day. and the next. and then the next, until you formed a new habit of waking up early for the 6 am train even though your classes start at noon.
you told yourself it was a good habit to form. you felt gratitude for the pretty boy on the train. you never approached him though. you didn't feel the need to. he never looked your way and you didn’t mind. it helped you develop a routine of waking up early and you were glad just for that.
the speakers announce your stop and minho taps you gently upon noticing your eyes were closed. both of you got out of the train and walked towards the supermarket.
grocery shopping with you was one of minho’s favorite occurrences.
he didn’t think much of it, he just knew it was so much more fun when he’s with you. he always chalked it up to you simply being fun to hang out with and that you’re always able to match his sillier side. almost a little too well. maybe..
“ya! don’t buy too much of that!” he notices you stuffing your cart with 5 packages of the carbonara buldak which interrupted his wandering thoughts.
“it’s my money? it’s the perfect meal for exams!”
minho recalls your late night snacking during last term’s finals and he sighs at the memory.
you were literally consuming that stuff three times a day. sometimes more. he had to hide the rest of it and force you to let him cook you a proper meal.
of course he almost folded when you looked at him with teary eyes, begging him to free the packs, and that you were tired and stressed and you’re really craving it. you were so tempting begging him like that. nevermind that it’s for some stupid noodles. he eventually made sure you ate his cooking anyway.
he takes 3 of the packages from your cart and puts them back on the shelf. he sighs through his nose while you glare at him.
“we’re supposed to die a natural death, y/n. i don’t want you getting a heart disease any time before 90!” he scolds you.
90 is a bit too much, you think. you just poke your tongue out at him again but you move on with only the 2 packs.
you are so annoying. he can't help but smile while watching you struggle pushing the cart.
you look back at minho from his sudden quietness. minho just nods at you to continue walking. his heart warms. you always glance back to see if he’s still behind you. always. whether you’re on a narrow sidewalk or whether you’re ordering in line in front of him, or when you’re both in bed and you can’t sleep due to stress, or that one time you were cheating off of him during an exam. he smiles at the thought. for all kinds of reasons, you always glance back, and for all kinds of reasons he vows to himself to keep being there.
both of you walk to the candy section. none of you really like candy that much but hyunjin kept begging minho to get a brand of gummies that can only be found at that supermarket. minho saw you looking at the cherry lollipops. you’ve had that before. he knows because it’s what you had in your mouth during a small get-together for his birthday where he introduced you for the first time to his friends.
some of the boys have already met you. you got comfortable real quick with the rest of them and he remembers being so happy that they’re getting along greatly with you.
seungmin teased him about you that night and he just threatened to put him in the oven before muttering something about how she's just a friend. seungmin just leaves him alone with a sarcastic “sure”.
he recalls changbin being late that night because of a project. everyone was already on their 4th or 5th game of the night. hyunjin bought a bunch of candy and the lollipop was one of the prizes. minho remembers scolding him for being so childish but he didn’t really stop him since he knows how childish all his friends are anyway.
you were definitely childish too with two cherry lollipops poking through each of your cheeks. why the hell do you have two? you don’t even like cherries.
apart from definitely childish, you were also definitely drunk from the drinking games you were playing with the rest of the guys. you were getting too close to felix for his own liking and he was unknowingly glaring holes at the younger boy’s freckles, hoping they’ll burst or something.
he knows you’re a clingy drunk and he wanted to intervene, but he realized seungmin was looking at him looking at you and he’d rather not ignite whatever dumb things the mutt is thinking. he remembers cursing felix inwardly, repeating get your own friend, get your own friend in his head.
when changbin arrived, he introduced you once more. you sat up immediately to bow at the blonde man politely.
and with you being drunk as hell, you blinked at his friend a few times before your jaw dropped, both the cherry lollipops that were just in your mouth falling on top of minho’s head. hyunjin doubled back in laughter and jeongin had to hold the back of the hyunjin’s head to keep it from smashing against the furniture. minho picked up the cherry lollipops in disgust and saw you look at changbin all dazed and pathetic with a “you’re really handsome” slipping past your cherry-stained tongue. changbin laughed shyly and the guys just lost their shit even more at the whole thing.
minho knew you were way out of it at that point and decided to get you to bed while the rest of them continued with the night.
he dragged you to the bathroom, brushing your teeth for you since you were too drunk to do it yourself.
he got you to his bed, lifting you up and rolling you in his duvet like a cat being put on sock timeout.
“don’t argue. you’re gonna have a terrible headache in the morning. sleep. now.” he said a bit grumpily while making sure you’re still comfortable even after restraining you with his sheets. you whined at him, still not wanting the fun to end.
“but i was winning! you- ch- chan was about to take another shot!” you were putting up a fight although he could see how weak and tired you already were. minho just clicked his tongue at you.
“and you’ve had too much. you’re sleeping now. i’m not hearing it.”
minho closed his bedroom door shut after turning the lights out and he was right about putting you to bed since you passed out almost immediately.
after a few hours of messing around, minho got tired and left some of the guys in his living room who still had way too much energy.
jeongin was already asleep on the couch, chan was in the bathroom puking his head out on the toilet (the photos haunted him the next day), and the rest of his friends were so loud screaming “draw 2!” “draw 4!” “draw 8!” that he got a complaint the next morning.
changbin followed him that night to ask about you.
“so that’s y/n”, changbin said in an amused tone while handing the birthday boy his gift.
“mhm”, minho took the gift and smiled at him. “glad you could come. thanks for this.”
“is… she dating anyone?” the younger one asked and minho’s heart sank so low on his stomach that he thought he was gonna have to pull chan from the toilet so he could have a go next.
changbin looked at him expectantly and minho just blinked before deciding to pull something from his ass.
“she’s not. but she doesn’t really want to date anyone right now. says they’re a distraction. so you probably shouldn’t”
he wasn’t completely lying. you told him you didn’t wanna date around, that you weren’t actively seeking for it. but if anyone nice came, preferably someone you can trust and not a total stranger, then why not?
minho gulped and changbin looked at him weirdly but ultimately just nodded his head in understanding.
“ah… i see. it’s too bad. but i respect that. i’m gonna hang with those idiots for a while. you heading to bed now?” minho nodded. he walked to his room with a heavy feeling on his chest that he blamed on the food.
he forgot all about it when he saw you. he chuckled at your position: head falling off the edge of the bed, arms in a marty mcfly sleeping position, legs somehow on top of his headboard? he took his phone out to immortalize the sight. how the hell did you even get out of the roll?
he sighed and gently laid your head back on the bed. he maneuvered your body until he had enough space to sleep next to you. he knew there was a high chance that you would be kicking some part of him later on but he never minded.
minho plopped his heavy leg over you and took you in an embrace to keep you still.
he started feeling a bit guilty for making shit up to changbin. but he figured you won’t mind. not that he would ever tell you.
he never thought about any of his friends seeing you in a romantic light. nor did he think about it himself. all he knew was he’s really possessive over his friends and that should extend to you.
but he also knew changbin was a good guy and you’d definitely click well with him. that didn’t mean it would sit right in his stomach if you did click too well.
get your own friend, he kept thinking. you’re his friend. he doesn’t want you spending less time with him. it would be unfair since he found you first. he should be enough. he huffed one last time before hugging you even tighter that night than he ever had.
“yo! you said you’d buy me two extra cups of pudding. let’s check the aisle.” minho snaps back to reality and follows you.
the pudding.
normally, he wouldn’t even consider replacing it with one yet he offered you two.
his guilt from… earlier events made him think you deserve just as much and then some. he knows you know that it's unlike him to even pay you back for his greedy schemes so you're taking advantage of the newfound generosity that you didn't know was actually guilt.
somehow they’re all out of the regular pudding. what’s there is rows and rows of the nasty strawberry pudding both of you tried once. he remembers how your face scrunched from disgust.
the cute little designs on the pudding cup made minho wanna try it with you. you ate at the same time and both of you immediately spat it out.
“this is absolute shit from a butt! the goddamn devil’s butt, blergh!” you drank minho’s sparkling water to wash out the definitely-not-strawberry strawberry flavor.
“yeah, you’d know” he laughs hard and calls you weird.
“it’s an expression, you piece of shit. a piece of shit from the devil’s butt too, mind you. and you’re weirder than me, don’t give me that.”
“i’ll stuff this pudding in your mouth,” he threatens and you fake gag at him. none of you tried any strawberry-flavored pudding again.
“looks like you really just don’t deserve pudding today” he chuckles at the sight in front of him.
“maybe if you left my pudding alone”, you mutter and he just basks in successfully annoying you.
you both continue on your separate shopping carts while still walking around together. minho is about to go crazy. why the hell does he keep being reminded of you in this stupid store? for every little thing too. like, seriously?
the meat section reminded him of you absolutely fucking up the steak you tried cooking for him when he won with his team on a dancing competition. you still ate it all, trying your best to chew the overcooked meat, not wanting to waste it.
the fruits and vegetables section reminded him of the time both of you were fixated on mango smoothies for months.
the onions reminded him of that one time he taught you how to cook kimchi sundubu-jjigae, and when you offered chopping the onions, you were silently sniffling to hide your crying. he laughed like a madman when he noticed. that picture was marked favorite in his phone.
the damn spring roll wrappers reminded him of your thin shorts just this afternoon. spring roll wrappers, for fuck’s sake.
the frozen foods aisle reminded him of the time he scolded you for not bringing out the tonkatsu he told you to bring out so you both could have dinner. you ended up sleeping all day in his bathtub and they were still frozen by the time he got home. you felt so bad that you paid for both of your food that night, which then made him feel bad so he went with you to the convenience store to try out the interesting strawberry pudding with the cute packaging.
the dairy section took him back to that one afternoon where you were both here doing your groceries, and an old couple asked him to reach for the milk brand at the bottom shelf, saying something about bad joints. he remembers the goosebumps that ran through his body when the old lady whispered to him that both of you will have beautiful kids like them someday. she proceeded to show him said kids on her wallet, pictures faded from how long ago those were probably taken. he just smiled politely at her. he was certain if you two had kids, yours would be cuter than theirs. not that he kept thinking about it from time to time afterwards.
he exhales in relief when you two get out of the supermarket, light bags of food in hand. you look at him and he looks at you and there’s a pause before he starts talking.
“let’s pass by the convenience store. maybe they have your pudding there.”
you know the convenience store is a bit farther from the station since it’s the other way. you’re not even craving pudding anymore.
“let’s go”, you say as you both walk towards the other direction, groceries in hand.
you always linger when you’re with him. a few hours more to see him laugh with and at his friends on his birthday even though you already feel your eyes getting heavy. a few seats more distanced from the train door to see him a bit longer, not wanting to leave before him. a few blocks more in the opposite direction just to be in his presence a little more. the weight of the grocery bags are nothing. not when minho’s next to you.
once you arrive, both of you plop the bags on the tiny table while he checks on the pudding aisle. you notice how peaceful it is like this with your tiny routines you formed with him over a few years. your heart beats faster, realizing the domesticity of it all.
you pinch your thigh to stop daydreaming about your friend. you tell yourself to just pay attention to your surroundings.
the cashier is giggling at someone on the phone, there’s a cat meowing for something outside, the convenience store is rather empty, and you can hear minho clicking his tongue from across the store.
“nothing?” you ask and he nods.
“you know, there should be compounded interest in these things. i say one more extra pudding with every day that passes where you still haven't paid me back”, you offer a very bad deal for him. you continue pushing your luck. “besides, that was the last pudding. i was looking forward to eating it after a hard day at uni…”
minho raises his eyebrow at you.
“you’re a spoiled brat, you know that?” he chuckles.
“and you’re a thief! i’m just saying…” you add, still trying to convince him.
minho just shakes his head and gets some sparkling water for himself. you follow him to the counter and the cashier brings his phone down to scan his item.
“is that all?” he chews his gum with a smile while taking minho's money. minho nods.
you’re looking at the other products near the counter. you notice the magnetic cat keyrings on the side and eye them closely. it’s a little too expensive. maybe you can convince minho to get this instead of the pudding.
“you need condoms too?” the cashier blurts out too casually and you can't help but get flustered at the implication.
“w-we don’t. we’re not- he-”
“i’ll take a pack. thank you”, minho says also too casually and you avoid looking at him while you head back to the table with both your groceries.
it’s none of your business, really. you knew minho liked to fuck. well, most people your age do, it’s no big deal. there are multiple times when you wanna come over to his place but he’ll text you a little “busy” so you knew not to come.
there was actually a time when you just strutted in his place without informing him, much like he is with you. it ended when you realized that of course he had a whole life that didn’t include you.
you were in his new apartment, relaxing in his bathroom since he could now afford an apartment with a bathtub. you were taking a warm bath, almost dozing off when you heard the door open and slam shut which was immediately followed by wet kisses and people bumping into furniture.
you heard them giggling as they went inside minho’s room. you swore you felt your heart melting into the warm water and down the drain that you started to open after figuring out what was going on. and yet you can feel the familiar warmth in your belly because of the same, familiar person.
stupid lee minho with his stupidly soft voice.
you moved as quietly as possible to get out of the tub but you’re sure they wouldn’t hear you anyway from all the moaning that’s going on. minho sounded a bit mean to the guy but that embarrassingly turned you on too. you felt like a creep squeezing your thighs in his bathroom after a few minutes of minho groaning and telling the stranger how much of a good pet he’s being for him.
from then on you always told him every time you’re coming over. he doesn’t do the same to you, very much loving going in and out of your place like he pays for it.
he knew you never brought anyone over anyway. minho teased you for your lack of love or “lust interests”, as he called it. that earned him a flying boba ball hurling from your straw and straight towards his cheek. your “lust life” isn’t his concern anyway. and it’s the same with him. minho liked to fuck and it’s not any of your business.
he stuffs the condoms and sparkling water in his bag of groceries.
“let’s go”, he says while blinking at you. you head out and walk back again towards the train station.
the wind was cool on his skin. you are right beside him, the air making your hair flutter as you talk about jisung calling you earlier this morning about some prank he pulled on changbin that minho hasn’t even heard of yet.
you and jisung have already gotten closer since you two met on his birthday. and since then, minho kept appearing in your apartment more often so his title won’t be replaced.
he wanted to listen to your story. he really did. especially when it concerned his friends being absolute idiots. but all he heard was “jisungie”, “pink”, “butt”, and “burst” while the rest of your words were getting carried away by the cool wind.
he nods at every word with a smile, trying to focus as much as he can. but seriously, how can he when the light from the streetlamp is making your features soft and all perfect for him to stare at, and when you’re letting out airy giggles that interrupts the story itself.
he laughs at that. you clutch your stomach, as if his laugh pushed yours to intensify tenfold. you don't have to know he’s laughing at you and not whatever jisung did to make poor changbin suffer.
you calm down after a few minutes and sit at a nearby bench with a sigh and a faint smile adorning your face.
“i can’t breathe. let’s sit for a while”, you say, eyes closed.
your eyelashes are kissing your face and he has never wanted to imitate something so bad. at this point he doesn’t care where his thoughts wander to. he doesn’t think deeply about the implications. not when he can look at you right now.
a few silent seconds and then you jerk your head to the bushes on the right. he looks at you confused. a faint meow can be heard and you all but melt when you see a tiny kitten hiding but seemingly wanting attention.
he holds in a deep breath as you call for the cautious little stray in front of you. he gives you a packet of the cat treat he always brings, and you gently coo at it so as to not scare the poor thing away.
“it’s okay, baby. you have to eat”, you say as you kneel in front of the little guy. he smiles at that.
he told you before that cats would feel less threatened if you make yourself smaller in front of them. you always listen so well. he realizes how both of your little habits, like feeding stray cats or doing groceries, have seemed to intertwine with one another over time.
you’re talking so sweetly to the cat and it overwhelms him. if he exhaled, he thinks he wouldn’t be able to stop himself from yelling or something.
the kitten comes closer, suspicious of the stranger offering him the food. he takes a sniff, you’re as still as possible, and it eventually licks the treat. you beam. your eyes turn to crescents and it’s the most overwhelming thing ever that he ends up finally exhaling but not before clenching his jaw so hard so he won’t be able to startle you or the kitten.
you start petting it and the little fellow allows him. he knows it’s the greatest honor in life for you. much like when soonie finally sat on your lap. eventually, he collects himself and the little stray allows him to pet it too.
“wish i could put every stray cat in my bag and take it home”, he says as the kitten starts purring like an engine.
“i’ll bring my bag too so we have space for more.”
minho smiles at your statement. the little guy keeps purring as minho rubs just under his ear.
to his shock, this one suddenly jumps on your shoulders and nestles itself on top of your head. you go completely still, afraid that if you move it will jump back down.
minho inhales so deep. he starts thinking you’ll make him break breath-holding records someday.
he grabs your phone that he still somehow has, trying not to make the array of keychains jangle. you laugh at his attempts to not startle the kitten with your dangling keyrings. he takes hold of your phone and takes the picture.
you look at him, still smiling, and the little guy starts making biscuits on your head. minho keeps holding his breath. you try very hard to stay really still despite feeling the ball of fur tickling your scalp. you’re trying so hard not to laugh and squirm at the kitten’s massages and minho can’t help but sigh out all the air he’s been holding.
“marry me.”
the words are out before he knows it. it takes him a second to realize what it meant. he looks at you and it’s so silent. you’ve gotten completely still and you’re no longer smiling as the kitten makes biscuits on your head. he can hear his heart beating too loud. he fucked up.
he fucked up. stupid stupid stupid. the kitten jumps from your head and runs to a distant meowing sound, probably its mother, and you’re still completely unmoving. you’re blinking at him, an unreadable expression on your face.
he takes your grocery bags and puts them in your hands.
“i- i gotta go. text me when you get home”, he mutters, still not looking at you.
when you move on from the shock, minho was already across the street and heading inside the train station hurriedly.
what the fuck?
you get up, still confused, and you try running to get on the train he’s in. it shuts before you can, and you’re standing there on the platform, confused and worried.
the ride back home is too loud for minho. loud and fucking heavy. minho was never good with confrontations. he was never really good at expressing what he felt either.
marry him? what the fuck? he never paused to really think about the possible feelings he might have towards you yet the words slipped out of his mouth anyway. it slipped out faster than he realized that he might actually like you. and when he did realize, it was immediately after saying those stupid words which was why he started panicking instead of the obvious choice of laughing it off.
but he fucked up and fucked up again when he left you there. minho groans, bags heavy in his lap, and the ride home felt longer than usual.
he remembers this is where he met you, right on this train on the way to university. it was a normal day, he was on the 6 am train and you were outside rushing to get on board with a “pleasepleaseplease” leaving your mouth.
by your luck, or his, you made it inside and sigh in relief.
minho noticed your damp hair, baggy hoodie, and ridiculous-looking pants with too many pockets.
you were still breathing heavily and you're holding onto one of the poles. when you looked up, your eyes directly met his.
he blinked at you before deciding to pat the empty seat next to him. by definitely his luck, you sat there even though there were other free seats.
“thank you”, you mumbled out shyly, avoiding his gaze. he just hummed. you made no advances to talk to him after that which made him a bit disappointed.
when he noticed you bringing out your phone to check your emails, he inwardly thanked the also ridiculous-looking keychains hanging on your phone case.
“isn’t that heavy?” he asked with a teasing tone.
you looked at the voice who just spoke to you and he couldn’t help but smile wider at the shudder laced in your words.
“w-what?”
“your keychains.”
“oh, these”, you mumble and he nods. “they don’t feel heavy to me. actually, they feel too light for my liking? i want more. some of them i bought, some are given. it’s like a collecting-thing.”
he softly laughed at your rambling that you didn’t seem to notice.
“can i see?”
you handed him your phone and your hand brushed against his. your soft hands. he inspected the thing and gave you back your phone, making sure to brush his fingers past your hand again.
“i have one in my backpack. would you want one?” minho offered.
“r-really?”
minho laughed at your nervous state. why were you so nervous?
“yeah. it’s probably buried in here though so i’m not sure if i can get it right now. i can give it to you some other time, maybe?”
“you don’t have to bother, really.”
“no. it’s cute. the keychains. it would be an honor.” minho said.
“i um.. i’m al- a student in the university at the next stop. i-”
“great! me too. i’ll look for it there.”
when you two got to the university, minho dug through his backpack for one of the keytags in there. he found it under layers of crumpled paper, then noticed his jureumi doodle on it. he handed it to you with a smile and you gladly took it.
“this is quite… interesting. you drew this?” you asked.
“yeah. i- yeah.”
you laughed and immediately stuck it on one of the other keyrings on your phone.
“there! i will make sure to take care of it”, you said, bowing at him in gratitude.
“well, i gotta make sure that you make sure to take care of it. what time’s your break?”
the rest was history. the train beeps and announces his stop so he gets up and leaves.
it’s been four days and he hasn’t seen you since. you messaged him that night telling him you got home to which he sighed in relief but he didn’t reply back, feeling too awkward to do so.
he didn’t come over to your place either. he can’t face you after that.
he supposes you’d either a) tease him about it and he can finally say it was a joke but you’ll both know about how he feels anyway which will drive you away; or b) act normal and pretend it never happened and he can be relieved but you’ll both know about how he feels anyway and he wouldn’t be able to stand ignoring it.
you actually went with option b, he thinks. he knew you weren’t good at confrontation either. you messaged him the next day if you could come over like usual but he replied with “busy” so you don’t push.
you tried again the next day, then the next, but he kept saying the same thing. you still asked earlier this morning, the fourth time now, and he was about to reply the same four letters until his phone came flying across the couch thanks to kim seungmin.
“do you wanna get sma-”
“i can’t stand it”, the boy interrupts.
minho still looks at him angrily and a bit confused.
“i really can’t stand it. you asked to hang out but i can tell you’re angry at something and you’ve been passive-aggressive the whole time”, seungmin finally breathes out.
“first of all, i asked jisung first but he said he was busy-”
“there you go again. what’s wrong, minho?” seungmin interrupts again.
minho just sighs. he’s feeling a bit guilty now. seungmin always meant well. maybe that’s why he called him next. even if he sucked at confrontation, seungmin read people well and maybe he just needed someone to understand without him having to say it out loud. minho didn’t realize that and apparently, the younger man was already fed up.
“it’s y/n, isn’t it?” seungmin asked. minho closes his eyes. he really is too observant.
“jisung told me that she told him you have been ignoring her” oh nevermind. so jisung told him. minho sighs, not sure if he should say the words out loud.
“i… i think i love her.”
“you think?”
seungmin is just baffled. he laughs at his friend’s stupidity and lack of awareness of his own emotions.
minho groans.
“so why are you ignoring her?” seungmin sat more comfortably, although a bit far from the older boy, just in case he says something that would make minho wanna smack him with a pillow.
“i told her i wanted to marry her”, minho says quietly and seungmin can’t hold himself back from laughing but minho continues. “it’s so fucking stupid. i told her that and then i realized that maybe i liked her. i just stood there like an idiot then i left.”
it felt good to get the words out, he realizes. seungmin is still laughing with a hand clutching his stomach. minho throws a pillow at him and the younger boy calms down.
“you’re cute, minho. but you still didn’t answer my question. why are you ignoring her now?"
“didn’t i just tell you?”
“no?” seungmin interjects. “did she reject your ridiculous marriage proposal?”
“i just told you i left.”
“and there it is. you had no right to leave! you weren’t the one to say yes!” seungmin shakes his head, still smiling.
minho never considered that maybe you liked him back. he just… never did.
he recalls back to that time he met you on the train. from the first time he laid eyes on you, you piqued his curiosity. from your wet hair to your oversized pants with too much pockets to the keychains on your phone, he really wanted to get to know you better. when you told him you were free until your 12 noon class, that also spiked his interest because why the hell were you rushing to get on the 6 am train when your classes start six hours later?
your childlike wonder made him immediately want to be your friend. he didn’t question it since his close friends are a bunch of grown men with the interests and loudness of children anyway. not that he's any different.
so you two became friends. best friends over the span of two years. he was too afraid that two years is all he’d ever have with you so he didn’t consider that maybe, just maybe, that there's a chance kim seungmin is right.
he was about to speak up again before hearing his doorbell ring.
“i got it”, seungmin says.
instead of the pizza they were expecting, you were standing there, hair damp, and in pants with too much zippers this time.
minho’s heart skips a beat.
you look at seungmin then look at minho then look back at the guy in front of you.
“i- i’m sorry-”
“no. it’s alright, y/n. i was just about to leave”, seungmin reassures you.
seungmin goes back to the living room to gather his things that were scattered like he was definitely not about to leave.
minho stays silent, finally picking up his phone from across the couch and he opens it to the unsent message on his screen.
seungmin gives you a goodbye and a quick hug, and minho grimaces at the action. since when did seungmin hug his friends? the door shuts and you’re heading towards him.
he’s still. he can’t ignore you forever but he thinks he can’t face you too soon.
“look at me. i’m right in front of you and you’re still ignoring me?” you pout and minho finally looks up at you, your damp hair sticking to his shirt that you’re wearing.
you’re wearing his shirt. you really went with option b after all.
“you suck at proposals, you know?” you throw something on his lap and his eyes go to the familiar cat keychain that he saw you look at in the convenience store. “asking me to marry you and you didn’t even get me a ring.. tsk.”
your words barely sink in and his heart is still beating in a speed like never before. he looks up at you again and there you are, smiling down at him like you also feel the same.
“you-”
“yes, dumbass. i accept your horrible marriage proposal.” you’re grinning from ear to ear as you finally sit down on the couch next to him. you bring out your phone and show him the dangling other half of the magnetic keychain, attached to the jureumi keytag he gave you two years ago.
minho laughs. you accepted. you accepted the proposal that wasn’t really a proposal but more like a confession. you accepted it. you accepted him. he smiles wider at the ridiculousness of the moment.
“and i suppose these are the rings?” minho teases.
“mhm! want me to put it on your finger?”
he laughs at that but nods. you insert the wide ring of the keychain on his finger and he giggles at the empty space.
“ya, you didn’t even get my ring size right!” he teases, eyes sparkling and heart practically bursting. he thinks he’s never been this happy.
“you really shouldn’t complain”, you retort back with a smile. “i mean, really, you proposed while i’m the one kneeling down, without rings, and then left! you’re hopeless, lee minho. at least i got us something”
minho grins while shaking his head.
“i’m sorry for leaving, y/n”, he takes your hand and kisses your fingers one by one.
goosebumps run all over your body while his soft lips grace your skin. “in my defense, i didn’t know i’d be proposing.”
minho stops kissing your hand, taking your ring finger and inserting it into the empty space in the keychain right next to his.
“there. it fits perfectly.”
he looks at you, almost too fond, and you aren’t smiling anymore. you’re looking at him like you’re about to cry.
“you are so sappy. i’m in love with you, you know?” you whisper like it's a secret you are never meant to tell. minho looks at you and notices how glassy your eyes have become.
“shh. it’s okay.”
he tucks a hair strand behind your ear. “i’m in love with you too. good for us, honestly. wouldn’t want us to marry when we don’t love each other.”
he’s sure your soft laughter is better than any music ever heard in this world.
“can i hug you?” you ask him shyly.
the butterflies in his stomach are going crazy at that point but he lets out a chuckle at your question. he doesn’t quite understand how you’re still able to get so shy with him after all this time.
“you don’t have to ask.”
“i know, but just to be su-” minho interrupts you, removing the keychain from your fingers and quickly maneuvering you on top of his lap. you squeak and he encages you in a tight embrace.
you wrap your arms around his shoulders in return and you just about melt into his hug.
“you smell so good”, minho mutters while burying his nose into your neck.
your previously damp hair that is now dry made him aware of your fresh-out-of-the-shower scent, and he inhales you in so deep, wanting to stay there forever. he can’t help but press a lingering kiss on your neck.
you whimper at the unexpected kiss. minho smiles at your reaction and peppers a few more kisses. you being so close to him is much better than smelling your scent in your bathroom. his lips continue kissing and he feels you let go of the hug, deciding to grip onto the material of his hoodie instead.
“minho”, you sigh, trying to even your breathing.
“mm? what’s the matter?” he gets lost in your scent and decides that him inhaling isn’t enough. he licks the skin and groans at the shiver that runs through your whole body. “you’re so sensitive..”
he can feel you gripping the fabric tighter. he chuckles right next to your ear and that simple thing makes you shiver again which further amuses him.
minho licks another spot and he was about to suck on it, but someone rings the doorbell. he ignores it with a huff and proceeds to suck on the area. you let out a tiny moan and he smiles, sucking on it a bit harder.
to both of your dismay, the doorbell rings again and minho gathers all his self-restraint to remove himself from you.
he kisses your neck one last time before removing you from his lap. the grumpy look on his face is evident as he gets up to see what was so important that he was interrupted from marking you.
apparently it was the pizza that seungmin ordered. he thanked the delivery guy with a tip, and placed the food on the table.
you’re focused, putting the other half of the magnetic keychain on his phone case. he feels his heart melting.
“seungminnie ordered this with his money. i suppose we can enjoy this.” he grins at the mention of eating seungmin’s food and you just nod while blinking at him slowly with a blank expression. “or maybe we can eat this later.”
minho hovers over your figure and encages you on the couch. you’re just looking at him, smiling like a fool with dazed eyes.
“you wanna continue, pretty girl?” minho asks in that sickeningly sweet tone. you could’ve sworn that there was concern laced in his voice if his hand wasn’t rubbing your thigh firmly which definitely overwhelmed you some more.
“min, i..” you start speaking but the rest of your sentence dies in your throat as you look at his hand inching higher.
“mm?” he smiles down at you, noticing your hands digging into his couch. “don’t worry, baby. i’ll take care of you. will you let me?”
you nod at him. minho smiles.
“but i… i’m not sure-”
“if you’re not ready right now, it’s okay. we can just eat-”
“no!” you interrupt him quickly. “it’s okay. i mean, i want it. now. i just- i’m not sure if i can be good? i don’t know what to do.”
minho’s heart skips a beat at your words. you’re just too cute. how can you ever think you won’t be good? you’re already being so good right now.
“shh. it’s okay. you’re already perfect. i said i’ll take care of you, yeah?” minho kisses your forehead and you know for sure that everything his lips touch makes you a bit dizzy.
“sorry. i’m acting like i don’t know shit. but like, practically, i don’t? i’m not a virgin but i- i uh i’ve only slept with one person so far.”
he giggles at your nervous rambling. you’re too adorable.
“yeah. you mentioned that before. it’s okay, pretty. don’t be nervous. it’s just me.”
“i didn’t tell you it was with a… woman. the person i lost it to. so i, um, i don’t know how to handle stuff with a guy.” you confess.
minho’s cock twitches at the confession. not a single guy. he’s the first man you’ll ever have. you notice his jaw clench and he squeezes your thigh.
“you still want me?” minho asks, hoping for the obvious answer.
“want you now.”
minho nods and finally kisses you on the lips.
your lips are so soft against his. it’s so soft and perfect and somehow familiar.
he’s kissing you like it’s something he’s been practicing for his whole life. he lifts you from the couch, carrying you in his arms. your lips are slotted against each other. he licks over it and you let a moan escape making his tongue slip inside.
your mouth is so fucking perfect. so wet and so warm. his cock envies his tongue at the moment and he hurriedly opens the door to his bedroom.
he lays you down on the bed and you let out a little stretch. he laughs at your cuteness.
“take it off.” you point at his clothes. he has such a smug look on his face. this can’t be happening. no, this really is.
he removes his shirt and lays on top of you.
he’s so beautiful like this. you trace your fingers on his skin, mouth agape at your crazy hot best friend, looking down at you with a smile. you trace the scar on his abdomen that somehow makes him prettier. minho laughs at your actions.
he takes your wandering hands and pins them right beside you. he kisses you again in the same breath, harder, messier, more forceful as if he wants to consume you whole. you whine into the kiss and he all but swallows your noises, licking and biting and sucking all over your mouth.
when minho’s hands let go of your pinned arms, you scramble to hold onto his shoulders. he kisses down your neck, hands touching everywhere and eventually bunching up the fabric of his shirt you’re wearing, up and over your head.
“shit.”
his mouth kisses all the way down to your collarbones, then to your shoulders, and he pulls one of the straps down, kissing the spot where the bra strap was.
“minho, need you already.” you desperately sigh while tugging at his hair. he kept kissing all over your shoulders and down your chest, before pulling down the cups and letting your breasts spill out. his jaw clenches. even better than he thought.
“i know, baby. but let me take my time, yeah?” he says sweetly with a furrow in his brows before groping one of your tits and licking your nipple. he feels you whine and shudder at the sensation. “fuck.”
he keeps his hands full of them, continuing to lick and suck while humming in content.
at that point you can no longer help but squeeze and scratch his shoulders.
minho lets go of your nipple and grins.
“kitty likes to scratch? is this too much?” he says with fake concern in his voice while he pinches the hardened bud. your eyes close, hands gripping him tighter because of how sensitive he’s making you
“i asked you a question, baby. look at me when i ask you a question.” he brings himself back up to look at your cute face all scrunched up, his hand stroking your cheek with his thumb. this is too much. how can he be demanding yet fucking soft about it?
you open your eyes, brows furrowed in frustration.
“there we go. now answer. is this too much?” he goes back to your chest again, slowly this time, dragging his finger downwards. when he reaches your breast, he encircles your nipple and rubs it lightly, his feather-light touch making you tremble.
“yes”, you whined. “minho-”
he suddenly pinches hard and rolls it in between his fingers. you moan out loud and he chuckles, admiring how much of a mess he’s already made of you.
he unclasps your bra and dives his tongue into your mouth again while his fingers pull down the zipper on your pants. he tugs it off but is met with resistance. confused, he breaks away from the kiss and sees that it was the wrong zipper. you giggle after realizing what happened.
“you and your weird pants.” he zips down the proper zipper this time, and pulls it down along with your underwear.
your jumpy thighs immediately close at the cool air in his room but he spreads them wide for him, negating your attempts.
“shit, you’re made for me.” he runs a finger through your folds, gathering the slick that formed and spreading it all over your cunt. “so wet, baby. knew you’d leak for me just right.”
you bite your lip, muffling your sounds when his fingers come into contact with your pussy. he takes a thumb to your clit and rubs.
“min-”
“i know, baby. it’s been so long, hasn’t it?” he coos, applying more pressure. “i’ll play with it for a bit. you’ll let me, yeah?”
minho’s position in between your legs kept you from your poor attempts of bringing your thighs together. he pinches your clit softly and your hips jerk even more.
“you can’t keep still, can you?” minho chuckles. “it’s okay, i’ll make you.”
minho lays down, eyes right above your cunt. he spreads your pussy with two of his fingers before diving in for a taste. he groans. too fucking good.
your thighs enclose his head. he takes both of his arms to hold your hips down while he greedily laps at your cunt.
“mmh” he mumbles onto your wetness, alternating between lingering flicks to your clit, licking down to gather more of your slick, then back above. “hold your legs, baby. be good for me, yeah?”
you listen to him, hooking your hands below your knees. you’re crying out his name and he takes it upon himself to add his fingers to the mix.
he slips his middle finger inside, groaning at the resistance. god, your’e so fucking tight. his tongue starts sucking on your clit and you whine for him so cutely. he buries the whole finger in, making you gasp, and he temporarily releases you from his mouth.
“mm. there we go.”
minho is already drunk on your cunt at this point. he goes back to licking and sucking and thrusting and playing with it like he said he would.
he adds another finger afterwards and starts scissoring you open.
one specific curl of his fingers gets you moaning his name, more high-pitched than the previous ones. he chuckles directly on your pussy and does it again while simultaneously dragging his teeth across your clit.
you thrash under him, gripping under your legs harder, still following what he told you to do. so obedient.
minho is fucking livid. he’s messy with it. you can feel his heavy tongue and plump lips all over you. your moans are getting more frequent, your legs starting to shake.
“you feel it baby?” minho says in between licks, his fingers continuing to abuse that one spot. you think you’re about to burst.
“min- please. i’ll-”
“cum on my tongue.” he orders and your body follows him. you cum so dizzyingly hard and minho continues dragging his hot tongue on your cunt. you let go of your thighs and push his head crying about it being too much.
he pulls off with a smile, licking his fingers that were just in you. intoxicating.
you’re breathing heavily, eyes closed from the intense orgasm and thighs practically vibrating. your hair is messy on his sheets, parts of your sucked red and purple, your pussy glistening because of him. all of it, because of him. you’re so fucking insatiable.
he runs his hand up your shaking thighs and you flinch at his touch. he rubs his hand on your swollen clit and you flinch harder, still sensitive.
“poor baby is twitching. can’t wait to be buried right here.” he drags his hand up from your cunt to your lower belly and pushes down. you squirm. after a while, you finally open your eyes and look at him.
he’s smiling wide, mouth a whole mess, even his nose was a bit wet because of you. you’d be embarrassed but he’s so fucking pretty and it turns you on even more.
“n-need a moment, min.” you say in a hushed tone, still trying to even your breathing. minho nods and lies down next to you, tucking your hair behind your ear again. how is he so soft?
“take your time. you’re so beautiful all spread like this.” his voice is so fond. “could stare at you all day.”
“you’re pretty too.” you tell him with a smile, eyes traveling down his form.
he’s still wearing his sweatpants and you notice his dick poking through it. your curious hands travel down his stomach to the bulging outline in his pants. minho hisses and grabs your hand.
“you’re going to drive me insane.” minho is too fucking hard and he’s trying his best to wait since you needed your moment. but the way you look in front of him, fully naked with your innocent eyes and soft hands wanting to grab his dick, he might just lose it.
“wanna see it, min. can i?” you ask.
you’re a goddamn angel. you’re asking permission and that somehow makes his cock twitch. he can’t really resist you, not when you’re looking at him like that. and not like he wanted to anyway.
he sits against his headboard, motioning you to sit on his lap. he rubs your thighs gently. you’re so warm on top of him. so pretty.
“pull it out then.”
with shaky hands, you pull down his sweatpants just enough to pull his hard cock out. he bites his lip when your soft fucking hands touch his dick. he can feel his ego inflating when you gasp and look at it with wide eyes.
he’s big. you haven’t seen a lot of dicks but you know it's big. thicker than what you’ve seen in the media, and a bit more than average in length.
“it’s..”
“hm?”
“it’s really pretty like you.”
minho laughs at your statement. you have his hard cock in your soft hands and you’re calling him pretty. you’re too fucking cute.
you notice it’s already leaking a considerable amount. you swipe experimentally at the tip and he grips your thighs harder.
“baby”, he speaks in warning.
“mm?” you continue caressing his dick, admiring how his thigh muscles clench and his breathing hitches.
“don’t be a brat. you said you needed a moment.”
“but you’re so sensitive here too?” you return the faux concern to him. you squeeze just below the tip and he moans. “wanna play with it, min. like you did with me.”
oh? you’re getting bold? minho clenches his jaw, glaring at you. he wanted you to stop before he cums too soon, but your soft and warm fucking hands felt too good on his cock. he tries to distract you.
“grab a condom from my drawer, baby.” thankfully, you obey. you notice it’s the new condoms. who knew he really was gonna use it for you.
you open the foil, and he guides you to slip it down his cock. eventually, you start stroking him again and he whimpers.
“see? you like it!” you say confidently while minho’s brain starts glitching. “you’re gonna lay there for me, won’t you?”
you’re getting cocky. and somehow it’s turning him on more. you’re on top of him acting like a big girl. he likes that. he’ll put you back in place eventually.
“yeah? you wanna play?”
you nod with a faint smile, still softly stroking his dick.
“we’ll play on my own terms, pretty.”
he grabs your hips with rough palms and sits you right on top of his cock. both of you moan at the wetness. he grips your hips and grinds you down.
“minho-” you whine, gripping onto his shoulders.
you’re squirming again, trying to get out of his hold on. your clit is still a bit sensitive from earlier yet he’s dragging it on his wet cock like he wants it to overwhelm you. minho grunts.
“said you wanted to play with it. you don’t like this?” minho says, his voice like honey right next to your ear.
he’s fucking pressing you down on it. your thighs are so fidgety but his strong hands are still holding your hips down, making you take it.
you just whimper and he laughs.
“your moment passed, baby. i’m gonna fuck you now.”
minho swiftly pins you down under him, tapping his cock on your clit.
“shit, min-”
“you ready, baby?”
“still sensitive. don’t know if i’ll last”, you answer honestly. minho kisses your forehead.
“it’s alright, y/n. it’s just me.”
you nod at him and he collects your slick on his cock, hissing through his teeth. he pushes one of your legs up, his other hand slowly inching the tip in your entrance.
“fuck.”
you’re clutching the sheets. it fucking hurts. you’re both so wet against each other but his huge fucking cock felt too much.
“hurts, min.”
minho hums, stopping his movements. his tip is already in, and he starts to press soft kisses on your neck again.
he rubs on your clit and you twitch under him, inserting his cock in you even more slowly.
you’re so fucking tight. tight and wet and fucking perfect. you’re clenching so hard on him, he can barely slip inside without using his hand to guide him in. he’s breathing heavily above you, and he notices you stopped breathing altogether.
“baby, breathe.” he caresses your thigh softly. “i know it hurts but i promise it’s gonna be good later. breathe for me. try to relax.”
his soft voice is washing over your senses. you nod as you try to follow his words. who knew taking his cock would be so fucking hard?
“there you go. not used to taking big cocks, huh?” minho teases which gets you laughing airily. “i suppose you’re not used to taking cocks at all. so i should really make this good for you.”
you take a moment to try and focus on something else other than that thing penetrating you. you look at minho smiling down at you, eyes fucking sparkling like he’s waited for this his whole life. he’s really so beautiful. if you knew he’d look this pretty for you right from the start, you would’ve approached him sooner on the train. it doesn’t matter though. you have him now.
“you can try moving again.” you softly mutter.
minho rubs on your clit a bit more firmly, and keeps whispering in your ear while situating himself inside.
“so good, baby. you have no idea.”
“you’re clenching so much. try to relax. for me? don’t wanna cum while i’m not even halfway inside you.”
“shit, feels perfect in here.”
“there we go. shh sh, it’s alright you’re doing so well.”
“just a few more. still hurts?”
“feels full? i know, pretty. but just a bit more.”
he talks you through it and you swear your mind is already fuzzy by the time he bottoms out.
“you took it all. i’m so proud of you.” he says with a kiss on your cheek. he feels your cunt clench around him at his words and he smiles.
“min- fuck, it’s so deep.”
“i know. let me know if i can move, yeah?” minho is gripping onto the sheets. you’re so fucking snug and wet around his cock. it’s better than any fucking thing ever. he could stay buried here.
after a few soft kisses and involuntary clenches, you decide that you’re ready for him to move. minho pushes your leg higher, dragging himself out and slowly sliding back in with a little force.
“shit, minho.”
“you’re so tight. fucking gripping me.”
minho repeats the motions, slow but hard, and soon enough you’re squeezing his arms and moaning his name. you can feel him rub against a certain spot and you’re sure you’re about to explode.
“p-please go faster.”
“you sure?”
“yes, min. fuck- just. please.”
minho kneels and presses both of your legs to your chest. he slips his cock inside you hard and gets to a pace quicker than before. he fits so well. you start screaming from him as his dick rubs against your g-spot even better and he starts kissing your mouth again. he licks and sucks on your tongue, and lifts your hips a bit higher and angles his hips a bit differently then rams his cock into you.
“f-fuck, minho. n-not so hard.” you cry out, wincing at the pain of him nudging your cervix. it’s fucking painful. minho apologizes and pulls out, rubbing his head on your clit to get your mind off the pain.
“i wanna try something. wanna take you from behind. you alright with that?” minho says softly.
“o-okay.” you nod, and minho presses a sweet kiss to your lips before flipping you over.
he manhandles you to a position he likes, ass up, face down, spreading your legs a bit wider. you’re a dream. he taps his tip on your pussy, which gets your whining, before slipping inside and continuing his pace.
you’re squirming and moaning much more. somehow, his dick felt even better in this position. minho grabs your ass and thrusts just how he likes. you’re crying out his name.
“mmm. letting me do this to you.. you like taking big cocks, baby?” he says, gripping your bruised hips so tight like it’s his job. you’re nodding, hair messy all over his pillows.
“o-only yours.” you cry out loud. you’re already drooling but he can’t see that.
“that’s right. only mine. i’ll train you to please it. train you to crave it. you’ll like that, won't you?”
he angles his hips and slams into that fucking spot which gets you twitching under him.
“i asked you a question, baby. what did i tell you to do when i ask you a question?”
he gets one of his hands to pull both your arms together, tugging so your head would be lifted up. minho takes his other hand, holding your jaw firmly. you look behind you, staring at him, and he sees how fucking beautiful you are. your cheeks are stained with tears, your chin wobbling with drool over them, your eyes glassy and dazed from how good he’s fucking you.
“that’s right. thought you forgot.” he keeps thrusting and you’re moaning so loud as if it’s the only thing you’re good for. “so? would you like that? train you to be mine?”
minho is so fucking mean.
you try to answer. you really do. but every time your mouth moves, he just slams into that spot that gets you moaning his name instead.
“can’t even speak?” minho laughs and decides to let go of your face. you fall back into the pillows.
“i’ll let it slide for now since i have to make sure to fuck you good.”
he carries on with his thrusts. you’re trying so hard to prolong your orgasm, not wanting this to end. he starts groping your tits from behind you, his other hand rubbing your clit in quick motions. fuck.
minho is so close. your pussy is so fucking wet and the recoil of your ass from his thrusts is driving him insane. you can’t control your moans and he knows you’re close as well.
“you close, baby?” he huffs.
“yes, min. i’m- s-o close.”
“hold it.”
you fucking groan. minho’s brows are furrowed, he’s focusing on your wet fucking cunt squelching so loud from his rubbing and thrusting. your legs start to shake violently, minho slaps your ass from how fucking dirty you look and feel around him.
“min, i can’t-”
“you can.”
“no-”
“just a little more. you’re cumming with me.”
minho is thrusting like a mad man. his grip on you is so tight, and you’re fucking begging for him to let you cum.
“pleasepleaseplease-”
“cum.”
you jerk violently under him while moaning his name, and he’s cumming. he’s cumming so fucking hard. harder than he ever had in his life. it’s so good. so fucking addicting. he’s moaning in your ear, you’re clenching around him so hard and it’s so wet and overwhelming. he tries to pull out but you’re gripping his cock fucking tightly like you’re made to keep him there. he feels himself weaken and he slumps on top of you.
it takes him a few moments to regain himself, and he slowly removes himself from inside you.
you were in a faraway place. your body feels too light, but also so heavy that you can’t move. you can’t think either. you feel minho flipping you on your back. he’s talking so sweetly but you can’t really register his words while he kisses your lips, then your nose, then your forehead, then the top of your head.
he mutters something about cleaning you both and you’re too far away to respond. it’s good. you feel fucking great. after a while, the bed dips and he’s running a warm cloth in between your thighs.
you’re so pretty, he thinks. like his personal angel. you’re laying their dazed, and he thinks he’s the luckiest fucking person in the world. he can see your eyes getting droopy, about to pass out from the amazing sex you both had.
minho dresses you both, and wraps you in his blanket.
“you’re too cute. i’ll be here when you wake up.”
after a few hours, you wake up with your entire body aching. it’s usual for you since you manage to sleep in odd positions. but this time, it ached in new places. you chuckle at the memory. you sit back up and rub your eyes.
minho enters his room, glad that you’re already awake.
“sleep well?”
you nod. you notice he’s carrying a paper bag in his hands. minho drops it on his desk and heads to your soft form on his bed. he kisses you on the mouth and you freeze with a blush.
minho notices and laughs at you.
“i already had my tongue in you and you’re blushing at a little kiss?” he smiles widely. his words make you blush more.
“you took me by surprise is all...” you try defending yourself. you know you wouldn’t get used to your friend being so physically intimate with you any time soon. you can’t help but feel all shy.
it’s minho, for fuck’s sake. your asshole friend who keeps stealing your food and taking horrible pictures of you. but that’s exactly why.
it’s minho. your asshole friend who’s too sweet and pretty and funny for his own good.
“what’s going through your pretty head?” minho asks, tracing his fingers on your bare thigh.. your smooth thigh he can now touch like this.
“i can’t believe we skipped the marriage and went straight to the honeymoon” you tease. he laughs with you.
“yeah we kinda suck at this. skipping the boyfriend-girlfriend phase and straight to engagement..” minho mumbles with a smile while kissing your bruised neck. “then skipping the marriage and straight to consummation.”
you shiver while giggling at his kisses. you’re so sensitive for him. he likes that.
“wouldn’t have it any other way.” you say.
his hands inch higher and higher on your thighs until he gets interrupted by the grumble of your stomach. both of you laugh.
“we have all the time in the world to continue later. let’s get you fed.” minho grins, pulling you from the bed.
“oh and”, minho smiles widely, giving you the paper bag. you look at the contents with a grin of success on your face. “there’s your pudding. compounded.”
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a/n: that was a lot. stretch a bit, drink some water, wash your face. that's what i did after writing lololol. i rlly hope this wasn't too much.. ALSO i tagged ppl who were asking for a part 2. if u want to get removed pls lmk!
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tags: @stayinlimbo @all4minnie @emmaluvsjisung @ddiidi @8bigguys @sunnysidesins
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Forward Beckons Rebound
Dad!Stanford x teen!reader
⚜ 9,8k words OH MY GOD is anyone actually going to read this?
⚜ this was such a pain to complete but writing it was so fun? mixed feelings
⚜ book of bill major spoils
⚜ quick summary: ford is soooo obsessed with finding the secrets of gravity falls and learns to regret making a deal with bill because he almost loses you and he lost fiddleford?? erm...
⚜ bit of gore and blood is described here! u r warned! it's not bad tho i promise
⚜ angst!! + gender neutral reader also instead of stan and ford not seeing each other for 10 yrs, i changed it to 17 cuz it didnt make sense before 😭
⚜ DONT KILL ME PLS but i unintentionally wrote fiddleauthor BUT IT'S NOT LIKE, in your face, nothing is ever stated so take it as you will?
⚜ to anyone who fully reads it, i hoped you enjoyed!! this might flop ngl
Ford stared at his billboard that was filled to the brim with photos of all of Gravity Falls anomalies. A thin string of red was strung across the board, ultimately leading to the middle where a big question mark was laid. For days he’s been theorizing theories on where all the abnormalities came from. Was there a rip in their universe where it expelled all their strange creatures into your world? Or was this a natural occurrence that happens only in Gravity Falls. Ford couldn’t figure it out. Tapping his chin with his pen, his mind raced with thoughts. “Where did it all come from?” He uttered under his breath, eyes squinting in thought. “Where did what come from?” You slip in his lab, placing a plate of food on his table.
“Oh!” Ford yelped out in surprise. “You scared me there, Kiddo.” He says, chuckling.
“Sorry,” You sheepishly smile. “I brought you dinner.” Ford’s eyes graze the plate for a second, making a mental note in his head to eat the food you prepared later. Eating was a waste of time and he can’t waste any time when he’s on the brink of solving the mysteries hidden within this town “I’ll eat it later.” He said with a dismissive tone, his attention going back to the board.
“This again?” You roll your eyes. “Dad, can you back away from this just for a second and eat dinner with me?” You walk into his view, hands locked together as you pleaded with him. “It’ll be quick! You’ll be back to your work in no time!” You add. Your eyes search his face for any sign of him changing his mind but none came. All he did was side step you, his attention so sucked up in his own head he didn’t even notice what you were saying. He only noticed that you were standing in his way. “Dad,” You let out an exasperated sigh, hands falling down to your sides.
“You’re not even listening to me.” You said, your eyes landing on a table. An idea sprouted in your head. You kicked the leg of the nearby table, eyes darting over to Ford, looking for a reaction, anything that’ll give him a reason to look at you but be doesn’t budge. Your heart shatters a bit, he’s been so caught up in his work that you and him haven’t properly spoken in awhile. Him being wrapped up in his work wasn’t abnormal, but to this degree, it was very rare for him to cast everything aside and hyper-focus on his findings. You mindlessly kicked the floor, eyes glued to the ground.
“I’m gonna…” You pause for a moment, voice getting caught in your throat. You couldn’t fully focus on what you were trying to say. You were too absorbed in retaining the tears in your eyes, too ashamed to let them fall. You felt so pathetic for being so deeply wounded that your very own dad pushed you and the food you spent a lot of time making away. There are other problems in the world and you’re over here, on the brink of tears because your dad was being too dedicated to his lifelong work? It all felt so stupid in the grand scheme of things, but it didn’t alleviate the sadness that was bubbling inside of you.
“I’m gonna go,” You meekly said, rapidly wiping the tears that escaped with your arm.
“Not now, sweetie. I’m this close to breaking this case. I can feel it!”
Silence overcasted him instead of your usual banter. Odd, he thought. Whipping his head over to where you stood, he visibly deflated. You were no longer there.
Ford smacked his head in annoyance that was directed at himself. He was doing it again. Discarding the pen in his hand, he went to look for you. “Sweetie?” Ford calls for you, heading towards your room. Not wanting to intrude, he cautiously knocked on your door. “Can I come in, kiddo?” He had his forearm resting against the casting of the door, hand over his eyes.
After hearing some shuffling and quiet sniffs, you open the door. “Yes?” Your eyes are glassy when you look at him and his heart cracks in two. He’s the cause of this. “I came here to apologize.” He said, voice audibly full of regret. “I’m sorry for the way I acted. It was out of line and not a way I should treat you when all you wanted was to spend time with me.” You wracked your brain for a moment, debating whether you should accept his apology or mull over this heartbreak just a little longer. You fidgeted with the door, moving it side to side as you continued to think, prolonging it just to purposefully bug with Ford.
Falling right into your trick, Ford bit his lip, anxiously chewing on the skin. “Are you going to say anything or you’re going to leave me hanging over here?” His hand dragged down the trim of the door, finger tapping on the wall, nervously waiting for your answer. You couldn’t stay mad at him. A small smile pulls to your face and you wrap him in a bone crushing hug. “You better not ignore me like that again!” Your voice muffled through his long sleeved sweater. His arms wrap around you tightly, kissing the top of your head. “I won't, I promise.”
He wasn’t lying when he promised you he wouldn’t get so enraptured by his work like that ever again. He saw how he secluded himself from you and swore up and down he was going to spend less time researching, even if it meant that he had to shove his hungry curiosity away.
But he would be lying if he said he never laid in bed thinking about what he could be doing instead, what mysteries he could be unsolving and what discoveries he could make that would bring him closer to the question that had been gnawing on him ever since he arrived to this peculiar place.
Many nights were spent restlessly imagining what could be the final piece to his concluding mystery. And one day, he had enough of sitting around. Curiosity killed the cat, a phrase you’d tell him whenever his relentless interest in the unknown occasionally backfired on him, circled throughout his brain but he paid no mind. The yearn to find answers was too great. Slipping on his trench coat, he grabbed his bag. Stringing it over his shoulder, he told you that he was heading out. Completely unaware of his plans, you bid him goodbye from your room.
Ford came back a little while with nothing new other than discovering an old inscription carvings in a cave. He had hoped that reading them outloud would at least summon something that would give him answers! But his actions were fruitless. Defeated and annoyed, he came back. Entering the house, he called out for you.
“In the kitchen!”
He removed his coat and hung it on his coat hanger, along with his bag. He walked over to the kitchen, the smell of spices and cooked meat lingered in the air. “Smells good, kiddo.” He comments, grabbing a Pitt Cola from the fridge. You turn over to him, exaggerating an angry look on your face. “I would have normally taken your compliment but I’m more curious on where you went for practically the whole day!” Ford playfully rolled his eyes at your joking tone. “I was out, sweetie. I lost track of time.” He says, popping the soda can open. Your eyes lock on the Pitt Cola can in his hand. “You don’t drink soda,” You turn off the stove, putting the dirty cooking utensils in the sink “Drinking some once and awhile doesn’t hurt.” He shrugs, ruffling your hair. “dad!” you smacked his hand away from your hair. “Go sit down!” You grumbled, to which he complied.
While you were setting up dinner, a terrible headache overcame Ford. Clutching his head with his free hand, he threw away the Pitt Cola, thinking the soda was the cause of his headache. When you called him for dinner, his brain squirmed in pain. He walked over to the table, sitting himself down as he gripped his head. Too lost in the mind numbing pain, he fails to hear your calls.
“Dad?”
No response.
“Dad?” You called out again, kicking him from under the table. He jolted up in surprise.
“W-What?” He groaned out, his hand still on his forehead. “Are you okay?” You reach out to him, hand on his arm as your thumb moves side to side. Ford weakly smiles, appreciating the gesture. “I’m fine, sweetie. Don’t worry about me.” He looked at you, offering a timid thumbs up. “I’m just getting old.” He said, the pads of his fingers pressing against his temples.
“Do you want me to get you tylenol or—?” Ford waves you off. “It’s okay, kiddo. I’ll tough it out.”
For the past few minutes, you’d catch him staring off into the distance, eyes wide and mouth half open. Everytime you would have to snap him out of his trance, worried if he stayed like that any longer something bad would have happened. Abruptly getting up from the chair, he mumbles, “Heading to bed.” Leaving you alone in the dining room. Unsure on how to react, you watched him leave. No goodnight? No kiss on the forehead? You frowned and got up from your chair, grabbing your plate and his. While washing the dishes you thought of all the possible reasons on why he’s acting so weirdly. But nothing came to mind. Drying your hands on your pants, you walked over to his room.
Opening the door, you peeked your head in. You found him fast asleep on his bed. Carefully stepping inside his room, you pull his blanket over his shoulder and pressed a kiss on his cheek. “Sleep well, Dad.” You whisper.
The next morning was weird to say the least. You woke up to the smell of breakfast wafting into your room. Curious and hungry, you quickly brushed your teeth and skipped down the hall. “Dad?” You walk into the kitchen to see him cooking up breakfast, a large smile to his face. “You look happy?” You say rather confused, watching as he flipped the pancake up in the air.
“Today is a good day, kiddo!” He said with so much energy you were convinced that your dad was kidnapped and replaced by a poorly made replica during the night. Never once in your life have you seen him so chipper to be up so early. “Is that so?” Ford finishes up the pancakes and sets them on plates. He hands you a plate and puts his down on the table.
He grabbed butter and syrup from the cabidents, popping the syrup bottle open and drenching his pancake with the sweet syrup. “Want?” He asks you. “No thank you.”
He sits down on his chair and picks up his fork. You watched him closely as he cut a piece of the pancake with the side of his fork, the smile never washing away from his face. “Did you have a good dream or…?” He laughed, stabbing the piece of the cut pancake with his fork. “Guess you could say that.” He looked at you, a flash of yellow ignited in one of his eyes. You blink and his eye is back to normal. You shake your head, brushing it off as your mind tricking you. “Okay?” You looked down to your plate, the fluffy pancake suddenly looking unappetizing. The whiplash of his sudden change in attitude really struck you hard. You pushed the plate away from you, taking in a breath through clenched teeth. “I’m gonna eat later, okay?” You got up and headed to your room before Ford could respond.
“That was weird, wasn’t it, Sixer?!” A voice boomed in his head. Ford jumped, dropping his fork. “Can you give me a heads up when you do that?” He grumbled under his breath, recollecting himself. “Oops! Sorry,” Bill laughed loudly in his head. “Heads up!” He warns.
“There’s no point if you say it after.” Ford mumbles, grabbing his fork to continue eating his breakfast. “You humans and their foods,” Ford could imagine Bill rolling his eye. “Hurry up or else I’m going to rip my eye out of boredom!”
Months ticked by and Ford was still strung up on building a portal. When you’d ask him about it, he would vaguely respond by saying; “This will break the boundaries between our worlds!” And continued to mumble incoherently to himself, pacing around the room as he stewed in his thoughts. He also began to collect weird art of this godly being. His lab was shrouded with tapestries, paintings and statues of a yellow triangle. Questioning about the art led you nowhere. Ford would act like it wasn’t such a big deal and make it seem like you’re the crazy one for finding an issue with his sudden obsession with this triangle. You just pinned it as him obsessively worshiping whatever this god is. As long as it doesn’t get too out of hand.
Even if he was knee deep in his work, he still managed to find some time to spend time with you. Outings were pretty common and you made it known that you appreciate him stepping out of his little man dungeon just to spend some time with you.
Everything was going good for Ford and you. He was slowly reaching his answer he’s been desperately looking for this whole time and you were happy to see him in such high spirits all the time. Not that he never was! He just seems more confident in himself, like he knows his self-worth. You wondered what exactly happened to him to make him so assured of himself.
Although, there would be times where his usual outgoing spirit was washed out for weeks at a time, even months. You were always there to cheer him up, to ground him, to tell him that everything was going to be okay during those times. You never thought much of it, just chalking it up as him going through mental exhaustion. It made the most sense to you. After all, he practically spends most of his day going out to that UFO crash landing site to collect scraps for the portal. There’s days where he’s all beaten and bruised and you’re left to take care of his wounds. You pestered him like a mother would to their child.
Ford sat down on the couch with a loud sigh, unbeknownst to him, you were in the kitchen browsing the cabinets for any snacks when Ford started mumbling to himself. “My muse,” He says. “Gone without a word once again.” He groans. You could hear him take off his glasses and place them somewhere. “Muse?” You whispered under your breath. You waited for him to say anything else that you can latch on to, but unfortunately for you, the TV sparked to life. Latest news reports filled the room and you were left stumped with new information.Was this supposed muse the reason why he gets all sad and anxious? Is this Muse a partner he hasn’t introduced you to yet? Your head is thick of conspiracies and feasible reasons but it was cut short when Ford interrupted your thoughts by walking in.
“Sweetie?” He’s surprised to see you in the kitchen, hunched over in thought. “How long have you been standing there?”
“Uh,” You look at the open cabinet, flipping your eyes between the cabinet and your dad. “Not long! I was…looking for snacks!” You grabbed a bag of chips. “Oookaayy?” He walks to the fridge and grabs a bottle of water.
“Are you seeing anyone?”
Like a flash of lightning, your face is sprayed with Ford’s mouth water. “I’ll take that as a no,” You said, voice raspy. You waddle out of the kitchen, dripping water onto the floor. “I’m sorry, kiddo!”
At some point, he needed a few extra hands to help assemble the machine. Ford chose you and an old friend of his, Fiddleford, to be his helpers. Meeting Fiddleford was a delight. He’s a kind hearted soul who had the brains of a genius. When there were slow days in building the portal, he’d play a song on the banjo to lighten up the mood. You all grew close as time went on and you felt like you had your own little family. You cherished every laugh, smile and conversation that passed between you and the others.
“What songs can you play?” You ask Fiddleford who was strumming the strings of his banjo without any thought. Catching his attention, he takes in your question. He considered his answer for a minute or so. “I don’t think it’s a song you’d know.” He says, beginning to play the opening tune on his instrument. “I know Ford will know this one though!” He smirks, head craning over to Ford who was drawing the outline for the portal. As Fiddleford smoothed into the middle of the song, Ford was turned over on his chair, head swaying to the beat. Once the song came to a close, the lab erupted in rounds of applause. “Thank you, thank you all!”
“I remember that song all too well.” Ford grins. You furrowed your brows. “I’m curious. Why do you two know the song?” Your finger switching between Ford and Fiddleford. “There’s nothin’ really special behind it,” Fiddleford lightly shrugs. “I just played this song whenever Ford had trouble concentrating on his work.”
“And it worked?” Ford nodded his head. “Worked seamlessly.”
You weren’t surprised when Fiddleford would start playing the song whenever Ford was stressed out.
June 15th rolled by, Ford’s birthday! You and Fiddleford secretly planned a surprise party for him, something small between the three of you to remind him how much you and Fiddleford love him. You knew he never was a fan of his birthday. Celebrating one without his twin grew harder each year, but you seemed to lessen the ache in his heart and with Fiddleford a part of the little family now, his birthday surely won't be as bittersweet!
Walking over to his lab, you felt your shoe press against something squishy. Looking down to the floor, you saw a pile of dead rats that spelled out his name. The one you stepped on was flattened, mouth hung open as its bloodied guts pool out of it. You let out a scream, stumbling backwards in disgust and horror.
The door to Ford’s lab flew open, a concerned Ford stood behind it. “Kiddo, are you alriighht…?” His words trailed off into the air, his attention now shifted to the pile of dead rats on the ground. “What the…?” His eyes flicker between you and the rats. He looks equally horrified and disgusted. “I’m gonna get something to clean—“ A gag interrupts you. “To clean that up!” You said in a hurried flash, hands cupping your mouth as you scurried away from the scene.
When you came back with a mask covering your nose and mouth, disinfectant spray, a broom and a trash bag; You saw Ford sweetly smiling at the pack of dead rats. “Uh, dad?” Why was he looking at the rats like that? His head flew up, eyes locking with yours. “Oh, kiddo! Th-Thanks! I’ll clean this up, don’t you worry.” He says, grabbing the cleaning product and broom.
“Uh, okay? Me and Fiddleford are upstairs. We made you something.” You tell him, fidgeting with your fingers. A quick “mhm,” leaves him and you’re left to walk back to the kitchen, a little weirded out by his smile. “Did you clean it up?” Fiddleford asked, adding the finishing touches to the cake. “dad’s cleaning it up. He was acting weird though,” You look at the cake. Gorgeously decorated with white frosting all by Fiddleford’s amazing handiwork. “Weird in what way?” He curiously asked. “Like, there was a pile of dead rats that formed his name and he was disgusted at first, but when I came back with cleaning supplies he looked…” You stop, searching for the word in your head. “Touched?” Your voice high pitched with uncertainty “He looked at the rats as if they were a gift almost.”
“Now ain’t that something.” He looks at you with a shake of his head. “Listen, I love your dad but he’s been actin’ weird.” He pushes his glasses up, setting the piping bag aside. “I sometimes catch him talking to himself. I knew to a certain degree he talked to himself, but I don’t remember it being that bad.”
“I notice that too, do you think it’s that–”
“What is all of this?” Ford asked, amusement trailing his voice. The conversation between you and Fiddleford evaporated in thin air and was replaced with you and him both yelling out, “Happy Birthday!”
His birthday went smoothly and perfect in your eyes, if you ignore the hiccup from earlier. Your dad was laughing heartily at what Fiddleford told him, drinks in both of their hands. Plates of eaten cake were left on the table, confetti was strewn about and you were more than satisfied with you and Fiddleford’s work. You watched as the pair happily conversed with each other, sharing old memories of college together. As the mini party came to a close, Ford turned to you as he hugged Fiddleford goodbye. “Thank you for this, truly. I needed this.” Hugging him, you gave him a kiss on the cheek. “Anytime, dad.” You smiled.
Soon enough, Christmas was right around the corner. The small little town of Gravity Falls was celebrating the festive cheer by blasting music from every corner and littering their house with decorations. Something you also partook in. Standing on top of the very tall ladder, you decorated the roof with Christmas tree shaped lights.
“Kiddo!”
Looking down, you saw Ford waving at you. “Hi, Dad!” You wave back, slowly ascending down the ladder. Once you reached the bottom, Ford had shoved a snowglobe and a 6-fingered mitten your way. “Look at what Fiddleford made me.” Ford beamed, a small hue of pink flushing his cheeks. You picked up the snowglobe and shook it. You watched in awe as the glittery snow cascaded down to the bottom. “He’s so good at making things.” You say, handing back the adorable snow globe. “And a six fingered mitten?” You slipped the glove on. It covered your whole hand and almost up to your forearm due to how big it was.
“Give me that.” Ford chuckled, removing the mitten off your hand with a swipe. “That’s so sweet.” You say, seeing Ford bleed out utter joy. “And look what he got you!” Digging in his pocket, he pulled out a picture frame. Within the frame was a photo of you, Ford and Fiddleford at Gravity Falls local park. All three of you were stupidly posing in the photo, faces pulled in different ways to make the weirdest face ever. The frame was decorated with a mini wreath and tinsel. On the back, he wrote “To my family,” with a tiny heart scribbled as a period. “He thinks of us as his family!” You held the picture frame close to your chest. “dad! I’m going to cry. This is so sweet.”
“He’s one of a kind.” He says, staring at his gifts longingly. “Where is he? I need to go thank him.” Your eyes search around the premise. “I’m afraid you’re too late, kiddo.”
“What?” You quickly turned around. “Is he dead?!” You practically yelled out. “What? No, no.” He shook his head. “He’s out of town. Spending time with his wife.” You let out a breath you didn’t realize you were holding in. “Why did you say it like that!” You shoved his shoulder with your hand. He let out a snort. “Sorry, sorry!” He raised his hands up defensively. “Whatever,” You said jokingly. “Are you done decorating the house?” He wonders, peering his head up to see the lights flashing on the roof. “Not quite. I still need to decorate the front porch and such. Wanna help?” Ford didn’t hesitate to agree. He grabbed your gift and placed it inside where it was safe and started helping you decorate.
Wordlessly, you disappeared into the house for a moment. Ford was puzzled but it all made sense when he heard loud Christmas music grow near. The door burst open and there you were, radio in hand with a multitude of DVD’s in the other. “I had to play some music.”
“Just don’t play the songs Fiddleford plays!”
“Those are the exact songs I’m playing.” A groan was heard from Ford and you had to stifle a laugh. That day was spent entirely accessorizing the whole house. The next few days progressed nicely. The christmas spirit was thick in the atmosphere and nothing could shatter it. And as if it was a Christmas miracle, Ford had told you that Fiddleford came back earlier than intended due to relationship problems back home. He also slid in that he had just met The Krampus before crashing down on the couch. The next hour was you trying to shake your dad up from his slumber to get the full story. How could he drop the mention that he met Krampus and knock out like that?
Later that day, Ford was magically possessed by the spirit of Christmas and chose to decorate the portal with lights and a ‘Happy Holidays’ banner. “What’s all this?” You point towards the portal that was covered in flashing lights. “I just wanted to make the place look festive.” There was another reason why he did this and you read him all too well.
“I bet it’s for Fiddleford.” You tease. He scoffed, waving you off. “I may or may not have called him over.” You squeal, hugging Ford with all your might. “Is this how having a full family feels like?”
“What! Did you not like when Christmas was just us two?” He took your comment very personally, even though a smidgen of him thought the same thing. “No. I loved it, but it’s nice to share the festivities with someone else.”
After a bit of waiting around, a knock resounded through the house. Ford perks up from his chair. “That’s him!” He exclaims. Quickly turning to you, he throws the remote to the lights to you. “When we walk in, turn on the light and throw the christmas confetti.” He instructs you.
“You can count on me!” You said, puffing out your chest. Hiding behind the wall, you heard Ford’s footsteps lull to whisper. Quiet chatter was heard and soon, the footsteps drew near. Your finger hovered the On button. You overheard a tiny little yelp and the sound of something unraveling. Looking towards the portal, you saw a little gnome hanging upside down by his foot.
“Oh, c’mon!” You smack your head. You didn’t have time to unwrap the lights off his ankle. Mouthing a “hold on!” to the gnome, you watched as Ford and Fiddleford’s shadow crept into view. You smashed your fingers on the On button, the lights flickering to life.
A gasp left Fiddleford. “First you decorate the house and now the portal? Gee, Ford! And to think I thought you were a mini grinch.” He jested, delivering a slight punch to Ford’s arm. “I’m glad you like it, Fiddleford.” He said softly. He then coughed to his hand, his eyes moving to the general direction where you were at. “Imagine if we had CONFETTI thrown at us. That would be AWESOME.”
Your eyes widen. You forgot the confetti! Jumping right in front of them, you threw the ball of confetti in their face. Your vision was full of confetti fluttering down. When it cleared out, you saw Ford’s unimpressed face and Fiddleford’s large smile. He cracked into full blown laughter, hunched over as Ford coughed out confetti from his mouth. “Really?”
“Oops?” You awkwardly laugh.
“Is that a gnome?” Ford points over to the gnome who waved at him enthusiastically. “Ignore him…” You said quietly.
Half of the cold night was spent warmly tucked in the lab, all huddled up behind blankets and hot cocoa in hands. Sooner or later, they swapped out their hot cocoa with nog. They both told you stories from their past together, stemming from embarrassing stories to really heartfelt ones. Each story either had you hooked on every word that left their mouth or a messy ball of tears.
“You know,” Ford begins, leaning back, looking at Fiddleford and you adoringly. “Maybe we should stop building the portal.”
Shock strikes you and Fiddleford. “What happened to making scientific history?” He asks.
“Don’t get me wrong, I still want to make history but…” His eyes trail to the portal. “I just want to spend time with my favorite people in the world outside of this lab.” His fingers tapped the floor mindlessly. “I have people around me who love me. Why waste that, you know?”
“Am I goin’ crazy?” Fiddleford whispers to you. “I think it’s the nog talking.” You whisper back.
“I can hear you guys talking!”
Facing Ford, Fiddleford had a light blush on his cheeks. “You tell me I’m the sappy one but I think I’m rubbin’ off on ya,” He nudges him. “Don’t make me take back what I said.” He threatens with no actual meaning behind it.
“Why don’t we go outside to build snowmen? That way I can see you wear that six-fingered glove I tirelessly worked on.” Fiddleford suggested. Liking the idea, Ford got up to his feet. He lent out a hand to Fiddleford who graciously took his hand. “Last one to go outside is a rotten eggnog!”
You and the boys rush to their respective rooms, hastily changing out of their thin long sleeves to their thick jackets and pants. Throwing the door to your room open, you stumbled out of the house and onto the snow where you tripped. Laughter sounded around you. Lifting your head up from the fluffy snow, you saw Ford and Fiddleford already out, all bundled up to protect themselves from the cold. “No way!” You gasped, scrambling to your feet. “Yes way!” Ford said.
The other half of the night was spent building snowmen, making snow angels and snowball fights. You tapped out after a while, hugging the both of them closely. “Best day ever!” You said, throwing some snow in the air. “I’m glad you had fun, kiddo.” His hand patted your back, giving you a kiss on your temple. Fiddleford ruffled your hair endearingly.
“Night, guys. Don’t go too crazy on the nog!” They did exactly what you told them not to do.
A month passed and you believed everything was going alright, you thought everyone was getting along but something happened to Ford a few weeks ago. He’s been more paranoid now, snapping at you or Fiddleford and erratically going off on tangents of how he needs to finish the portal. The talk of discarding the portal many nights ago was lost to the wind. Now it rested as some silly little pipe dream.
Fiddleford was noticeably putting less and less effort in the project. You’d often find him daydreaming on his desk, mind far away from the lab. Your work was beginning to become sloppy, head full of thoughts and worries. You stressed over the thought of how everything was just fine a few weeks ago. Now it was slowly falling apart.
You were taking a break outside of the lab when Fiddleford stormed out. His face pinched with a mix of anger and sadness. “Fiddleford?” You rushed to your feet, running over to him. “Fiddleford, what happened?” You stood in front of him, stopping him in his tracks. His lip trembled, looking off to the side. “I don’t wanna talk about it. Go ask your dad since he’s so keen on yellin’ at me.”
Your heart drops to your stomach. Your dad did what? “D-Do you wanna stay here? I-I can talk to him and you guys can make up or something!” Your words stumbled over each other. You can see your whole world crumbling down right in front of you and it was all because of your dad. “It’s alright, pumpkin. I’ma head home now.” A somber yet reassuring smile pulled to his lips.
“I’m going to talk to him, I promise.” You tell him with a firm nod to your head. “Thank you.” His voice was weak, something you’ve never heard from him before. You brought him into a hug, squeezing him before letting him go. He wished you a good afternoon and left, leaving you alone to deal with your dad.
You sucked in a deep breath and trudged towards the lab. Walking in, you saw Ford pacing around anxiously, a scramble of words tumbling out of his mouth at rapid speed. “Dad?” His head snaps to you, a light yellow glow in his eye. The same one you saw almost one year ago. He blinked and suddenly it was gone. “What do you want, kiddo?” His tone was harsh and clipped.
“I just wanted to talk to you.” You cower a bit. His anxious energy and rude tone shook you to your core. He’s never talked to you with such anger before. “Are you here because of what happened between Fiddleford and me?” He inquired, taking a step towards you. Seeing his face better, you could see that it was pulled into an irritated scowl. “What happened, dad?”
“He was going through my stuff! Without my permission!” He said, his hands cupped towards him, directing them at himself. “And to think I trusted him!”
“He probably got the cabinets mixed up or something.” You shrug, not getting the whole show he’s throwing. Ford pinched the bridge of his nose, muttering to himself. “You don’t understand.”
“Understand what?” Your lips quivered. You felt so little compared to him. He towered over you with such burning anger you couldn’t process that he was your dad. “You don’t understand what’s going inside my head!” He jabs his finger to his temple repeatedly. “You can’t trust anyone, especially him!”
“This is Fiddleford we’re talking about, Dad! He wouldn’t even hurt a fly.” You said. You couldn’t grasp the words that were coming out of his mouth. Since when did he start doubting Fiddleford’s loyalty? What planted this ridiculous idea into his head? Your heart was pounding in your ears.
“So explain to me why he was rummaging through my belongings!”
“I’m not Fiddleford, I can’t answer that question!”
Ford scoffed, he opened his mouth to say something when it faltered close. He was quiet for a moment, lost in his thoughts when he took a step back. His expression screamed betrayal. “Unless you’re siding with him to work against me.” He murmured, eyes narrowed at you.
Your stomach twisted into knots. “Seriously?” Your voice wavered. You closed your eyes, biting your lip to suppress your cries. When you opened your eyes, you were locked on a tapestry of that yellow triangle. That’s when it all clicked. Swallowing your sorrows, you pointed to the tapestry.
“That triangle,” You start. “Ever since you started hanging up those stupid paintings or whatever, you’ve been acting strange in all kinds of ways.” You walk over to it, fingertips brushing the material. Ford eyes you warily. “Is this your Muse I hear you talk to yourself about?” Your fingers wrap around the tapestry.
“Don’t.” His finger pointed at you. You felt like you were a kid again, being disciplined by him for acting irresponsible, for breaking something you shouldn’t have. It made the reality of the situation a lot more serious. This wasn’t something that Ford could shrug off due to your poor impulse control. This is something you chose to do. “Please don’t.” He begged, his eyes glossing over with tears.
You yanked it, ripping it in half. Ford reached out to grab the ripped tapestry but you were too quick. You moved to the side and observed the art designed on it. A flying yellow triangle was depicted as the saving grace of our world. In the background there were people on their knees, while some stood behind them. What stood out to you the most was their eyes yellow, their pupils replaced with a black straight line. You’ve seen those yellow eyes before. You turn your head over to Ford, your heart crushing against your chest. You could barely recognize the man in front of you. He had deep dark eye bags under his eyes, the whites of his eyes had dark crimson veins that irritated his eyes. His hair was disheveled and his chin had little stubbles of hair growing out.
“What is this?” The back of your hand smacks against the tapestry. “Who is this? Why am I just making sense of all of this now?” You shoot questions at him like rapid bullets. “Why haven’t you told me anything about this?”
Closing his eyes, he leaned his head back. “I don’t know if I should tell you.” He says, voice low. “I don’t want you to jeopardize our main goal.”
“What main goal, Dad?” You shot back. “The one you said you didn’t want to do anymore because you didn’t want to lose track of what’s in front of you?” Your hands clenched the tapestry. “I changed my mind.” Ford rubs his forehead, looking away from your eyes, clearly ashamed of himself. “Clearly!” You stared at him for a moment. “Why?” He looks over to you, his face riddled with exhaustion. You soften your tone and repeat it. “Why?”
“I don’t know.” He responds. “Did the triangle guy give you shit for it?” You watch as he winces. Right on the dot. So this entity, this being, it speaks to him. “Does he talk to you?” He nods slowly, as if he’s unsure that the information he’s sharing is allowed to be told. “Dad…” You drop the tapestry. “What have you gotten yourself into?”
A prolonged silence entraps you and him. You stare at him and he stares at you and he looks so terribly conflicted with himself. He looks at you like he doesn’t know what’s right or wrong. He pushes his glasses up, his lips pressed into a thin line. “I need you to get out of my lab.”
“What?” Your whole body tingles with cold chills. You can’t tell if he's joking or not. He has to be joking, right? There’s no way he’s demanding you to leave, right? “Dad I—“
“—I said that you need to leave. Why haven’t you done that already?” His voice is dangerously low. His irritation seeps deeply into his words and punches you right in the heart. You open your mouth, ready to protest, ready to fight with whatever energy you had left in you but closed it.
You backed out.
Kicking the tapestry over to him, you forcefully knock your shoulders with him as you leave. Hot tears escaped your eyes as you ran to your room, shutting the door of your room.
Ford sighs out, despair riddling his body. “And you’re sure that [Name] and Fiddleford devised a plan to turn off the portal?” He asked Bill who floated in front of him. Bill flicked his hand down. “Don’t you worry, pal! You did the right thing.” A distant look was evident on Ford’s face.
“You do a good job at listening to me, you know that, Fordsy?” Ford could only grumble in response.
Bill spun around to face the portal “When do you think this portal can turn on?”
“Tomorrow.” Ford firmly says. “Do you think you can rally those two knuckleheads tomorrow? You need a test dummy afterall!”
“I might be able to.”
The morning blooms to life and you’re left rotting on the bed, not wanting to move from the only place that provided you constant comfort. Hours pass by when you hear Fiddleford’s voice. You sprung up from the bed. What is he doing here? Making a beeline to the bathroom, you quickly brush your teeth and hurry on down to the living room. They’re nowhere to be seen.
You rush to the lab and open the door. The ground shifts as the portal powers to life. You watch as they approach the roaring portal, test dummy in hand. What happens next all happens too fast. Fiddleford’s wrist got tied to rope that was on the test dummy and got pulled along with it, his head getting sucked in. You run over to your dad, hands latching on to the rope that was conveniently on his ankle. Together, you and Ford pull him back in. You fall back to the floor. Fiddleford violently trembles as he speaks some garbled nonsense.
“Fiddleford?”
He sits up, staring blankly ahead of him. “When gravity falls and earth becomes sky, fear the beast with one eye!”
“Fiddleford, get a hold of yourself. You’re not making any sense!” Ford reached out to Fiddleford but he flinched away before he could. “This machine is dangerous,” He states, hugging his arm. “You’ll bring about the ends of the world with this!” He grabs onto Ford’s shoulder. “Destroy it before it destroys us all!”
“I can’t, Fiddleford. This is my life's work!”
Fiddleford looks down to the floor. “I fear we unleashed a grave danger on the world.” He looks petrified. Whatever he saw on the other hand has mentally taken a toll on him within a matter of seconds. He looks up to Ford, his eyes brimming with tears. “I’m not gonna ask again.” His body tremors in fear. “You need to destroy the machine, Ford. Please, I beg of you.”
“Fiddleford. I can’t just throw this all away.” Ford says.
Fiddleford studies his face, hoping that a part of Ford was lying. But when Ford’s stern face unwavering, Fiddleford broke. “Then I quit.” He stands up from the floor, his eyes gazing at you one last time before he marches out of the lab, leaving you and Ford stunned.
“Fear the beast with one eye,” You echoed, your mind instantly flashing to the image of the yellow triangle Ford has everywhere. Ford had seemed to make the same revelation. He shuffles to his feet, still shaken up by what had just happened, he stumbles a bit as he goes back inside the lab, pulling out his journal 3 notebook. “Shut off the portal!” He commands.
You don’t waste a second getting up and switching off every knob, lever and button. Sneaking careful glances to Ford, you can see him writing, his pressure on the pencil is so hard that the words he writes come out thick and black. You just stand there and watch him visibly break down, his mental health deteriorating as the minutes go on.
“I need to destroy the portal and burn the journals,” He finally speaks up after a long minute. “And we’re leaving Gravity Falls once I deal with everything.” He slammed the book shut and tucked it inside his coat. “We’re what? Leaving Gravity Falls?” You follow him closely as he leaves the lab, eyes clouded over with fear. “It’s not safe here, [Name].”
The whole day is such a messy blur. Too overwhelmed with your emotions you couldn’t grasp the severity of the situation. You were still hung up on the fact Fiddleford left. The look in his eyes will be forever ingrained in your memory. Everything around you is falling apart and you can’t seem to pick up the pieces and fix it. Sleep was unachievable. Closing your eyes would replay the memories of what happened hours prior.
Footsteps approached your room, but they weren’t the ones you were familiar with. These were messy and uncoordinated. Bangs of someone slamming against the wall shook your room and before you could have any time to react, your door whips open, revealing Ford. You breathe out in relief. It was just your dad.
Ford’s head pulls up as if it’s being controlled by a string and stares you down with a wide smile. His comforting brown eyes weren’t there anymore. Instead, they glowed a disgusting yellow. His pupils were a black slit and you felt your blood run cold and the world around you stopping. You felt like a fool to think you were safe.
“Nice to finally meet you!” Another person’s voice spoke using your dad’s mouth. “Names Bill, Bill Cipher!” He hung out his hand for you to shake. Your body felt like cement was encased in your veins, preventing you from moving. His eyes switched from his hand to yours a few times before pulling his hands back. “I see you don’t do handshakes. I get it! You’re probably thinking where’s my dad right now? What is inside of him? What is going ooonnn?!” He lets out a laugh. “Right? You’re thinking that?”
Your voice dies in your throat, your words failing you. “Hmm, maybe I chose the wrong day to come out…Should I have done it tomorrow?” He thinks out loud, tapping his finger on his chin, exactly the way your dad did. “Well, too late to think about what could’ve happened!” He jolts towards you, his hand grabbing your wrist. You break out of your trance “Let go of me!” You screech. Your fist clenched, ready to blow a punch to Bill’s arm when it hit you, this is your dad’s body. Any injury you inflict on Bill is also harming your dad. “What? Are you too scared to hit me because I’m in Ford’s body?” A cackle leaves Bill. “This will make this so much easier then!”
“Make what easier?” Not knowing what Bill was scheming made everything feel so much scarier. “I’m breaking into Sixer’s lab! But I just need your help.” A warm sensation drips onto your hand and slides down to your arm. You feel bile climb up your throat when you see that it was blood seeping out of the various open wounds Bill had given to Ford on his knuckles. “W-what did you do?!” The wounds weren’t deep, but the skin was ripped open and Bill dragging you down to the lab only peeled the skin open even more. “Just tried bashing the door down. Is it obvious that it didn't work?”
You reached the lab’s door. Blood was smudged on the door, some dripping down to the floor. The strong scent of metal hung in the air and you could feel your stomach churning. “Unfortunately for me, Sixer can be a real genius at times. He implemented this stupid security system so I couldn’t get in!” Bill’s other hand grips your hair. “It won’t work with my eye, but it’ll work with youuurss!” His hand in your hair pushes your head towards the eye scanner. You yelp out in pain. “Oh, stop complaining!” His finger pressed a button and the scanner began inspecting your eye, before it could do a proper scan you screwed your eyes shut. “Oh no you don’t.” Bill pries your eye open and starts the scanner all over again. You tried struggling against it, but his boot stomped down on your ankle, twisting it sideways. “I just wanted to do that!” You screamed in agony, tears pouring out of your eyes.
A loud beep sounded and you thought you were granted access when Bill cursed under his breath. He throws you against the wall, you head knocking against it. “So useless!” He delivers a punch to the door. “I will get access to that portal.” He shoots over to you, a large toothy smile that spreads ear to ear unnaturally took over Ford’s face. “Or maybe I can think of other ways to convince him to–” His eyes roll to the back of his head and he falls back. “Dad!” You crawl over to him, hands on his cheeks as you watch his eyes flutter open. No longer were they yellow.
“Oh, thank god!” You wrap him in a hug, tears falling down your face. “D-Did I fall asleep?” Ford slurred out. As Ford’s surroundings came back to him, his face scrunches up when he’s assaulted with the stench of blood. “[Name], what happened?”
“Bill tried breaking into the lab to use the portal.” You say, giving him a squeeze before giving him space. “Did he get in?” He groans as he sits up, body terribly sore. “No, he didn’t.” His eyesight focuses on you, eyes blowing wide when he sees blood staining your hand and arm. “Did he hurt you?” He grabs onto your hand, looking for any damage. “He didn’t make me bleed. Just gave me a tiny concussion and a twisted ankle probably.”
Ford stays silent for a moment, his head replaying your words. Anger boiled in his chest as he thought of the ways he hurt you while he was possessing his body. “Don’t worry, Dad. I’m fine!” You assure. “I’m more worried about your knuckles.” You say, looking at the splintering skin. “My knuckles?” He casts his gaze over his knuckles and winces at the sight. “He does not know when to give up.”
The rest of the night was you patching Ford up and him patching you up. Conversation floated between you and him as if the previous days were nothing but a nightmare. That’s when he unloaded everything about Bill onto you, from the moment they made the deal to when the portal was revealed to be nothing but a way for Bill to take over Earth. You could see the remorse on his face as he talked, speaking on how he felt so stupid for falling into his tricks, believing the lies he told and how he almost caused a rift between the two of you. You already figured out most of what he told you prior to the conversation, but having it proven to be true and not baseless guesses was astounding.
“I’m sorry for how I’ve been acting for the past year.” He says, holding you tightly to his chest. “It’s okay, Dad. You were under his influence and believed him more than you believed yourself.” You tell him.
From then on out, you and Ford searched for anything that’ll help defeat Bill. Ford stumbled across a book with armor that was supposed to keep Bill out of the mind. The machinery was horribly outdated but by growing on their ideas, you and Ford had a solid outline of a modern alternative. Assembling it was another story.
“Does this go here or here?”
“No..I think it goes here?”
The idea was scrapped and Ford was back to square one. Without Fiddleford’s brilliance in machinery, the protective armor was pretty much unachievable. And right before you knew it, the inevitable came. Ford fell asleep. You walked into his room with what you originally thought was him hunched over his desk, sticky notes stuck to every part of the wall and desk. Bill heard you walk in and shot up from his chair. “Oh, am I glad to see you!” Bill approached you with open arms.
“What are you doing, Bill?” You tried your best to sound menacing but your voice betrayed you. “I’m just trying to convince your dad to talk to me again. Do you think that’s possible?” He grabs your arm and pulls you to the desk. “Or maybe shedding your blood on the post-it notes would fasten the process?” His hands dig in the cabinet, pulling up a box cutter. You watch in horror as the blade pops out. “My blood won’t solve anything!” You said, trying to yank your arm away from his grip but it was too tight. “Then should I spill your blood and his?” He has the blade to your arm and you do your very best to stay still. Any movement and you'll surely rip some skin open. You sit in a pool of your own anxiety, waiting for Bill to slash your arm open but he never does. He drops the box cutter and shoves you. “Doing that will only make him hate me even more!” He yells, bashing his head on the wall repeatedly.
“Hey!” You pull him back by the shoulder. “Are you trying to give yourself a headache!” Bill ignores you and sits back down on the chair, obsessively writing post-it notes where he begs for Ford’s forgiveness. And for a while, that’s how they communicated. Through notes. At some point, the whole room was covered in writings of both Bill and Ford. When that didn’t work, he tapped a snake to Ford’s journal. It was back and forth of childish antics between the two of them.
The more this progressed the more sleep deprived Ford became, the more paranoid he grew. “There’s no other options left.” He said, running his hands down his head. “I was stupid to believe I could defeat Bill and I thought Fiddleford would’ve had something, but he didn’t. Just a ripped up picture of us from college.” In his hands were the two pieces of the photo. You reached a dead end and you’re not sure if you can escape this one. “Has Fiddleford answered your calls?” He asks, thumb caressing the photo of Fiddleford.
“He answered.” You crack your fingers. “He, uh…Doesn’t remember us.”
“What do you mean he doesn’t remember us?”
“I don’t know, he just asked who I was and why I kept calling. And when I told him about you and me he said I got the wrong person and hung up.” Heartbreak, after heartbreak. Nothing good seemed to come out of this situation and you were growing tired of all of it. You haven’t even gone outside to catch a breath of fresh air. You were too afraid Bill was lurking, waiting for you to be alone so he could find a twisted way to convince Ford to be on his side again.
Ford clenched the hand where the photo of himself was. Tears dripped from his eyes and down to the floor. “I’m so sorry for pulling you into this, kiddo.” He says. “You didn’t know that this was going to be the outcome, Dad. It’s okay.” You pull him for a hug. “I was so obsessed with finding answers that I–” Ford stopped himself with a garbled sob. “You didn’t know, Dad.” This was all too real, all too scary. You didn’t even want to think about how it would end.
The months passed through your fingers and before you could sit back and relax, winter was here. Your favorite season. You were unsure on how to feel. The last winter was filled with memories to remember but thinking back on them only brought a chill to your heart. One day, a knock was heard from outside. “Dad!” You run over to get him, your heart bashing against your ribcage. “There’s someone at the door.” A year prior to this, you would’ve been more than happy to open the door, but considering what has happened the last few months, anything that dealt with leaving home was mind numbingly terrifying. “It’s okay. If anything happens, hide in the lab.”
Arming himself with a crossbow, he opened the door. Aiming the crossbow at the person in front of him. “Well, I can always count on you for a warm welcome.” A gruff voice spoke. “Stanley,” Ford drops the crossbow. “Did anyone follow you, anyone at all?”
“Eh, hello to you too, pal.” Ford grabs him by the collar and pulls him in, shutting the door behind him. “[Name], flashlight please! And hurry!” Ford holds out his hand and you place the flashlight you found discarded on the floor in his hand. “W-What? Who?” Ford flashes the lights in his eyes. “Ah! Hey,” The man in the beanie pushes Ford’s hands down. “What is this?” Then his eyes trail over to you. “And who is this?” The gears turn in his head and his eyebrows furrow in shock. “You have a kid!”
“That’s not the point.” Ford urged him to come in. He followed, his eyes never leaving you. “Hi, Uncle.” You nervously waved at him. “Does he talk about me?” Stan asks but he was pulled away from you before you could answer. Ford began spilling to him how he couldn’t trust no one, no one except him. Collecting all the books in his hands he went to the portal, you and Stan behind.
Showing him the portal, he explained how he’s the only person he could trust with the last notebook. He tells Stan to sail far away to keep the book from getting into the wrong hands. ”That’s it?” Stan clenches the book in his hand, a scowl on his face. “I finally get to see you after 17 years and the first thing you tell me is to get as far away from you as possible?”
“Stanley, you don't understand what we’re up against. What we’ve been through!” Ford walks past Stan, his hand gripping his hair. “We? C’mon, Stanford. Don’t tell me you dragged your kid into this.”
An argument unfolded and no matter how hard you tried to stop them from fighting, they continued on. It got to the point where it got physical and where Stan got injured. Ford came to his side, asking if he was okay. Stan, overrun by anger pushed him, Ford’s back slamming against the lever which powered on the portal. Your stomach drops. Last time that portal was on, you lost Fiddleford, you can’t lose your dad too.
Shoving the book into Ford’s chest was the last straw that broke the bridge. The portal sucked up Ford, suspended in the air he threw the book towards Stan. You ran over to grab your dad but he was too far beyond your reach. Your breathing was quickened and your head was spinning. You couldn’t believe this was happening.
“Uncle Stan, do something!”
“Stanley, do something!”
His name was being shouted in his ears, overwhelmed he didn’t know what to do. Ford was fully sucked in and the portal shut off, blasting you and Stan back. When you recovered from the initial blast, you got up to your feet and grabbed the switch. You pulled with all your might, but nothing worked. “Uncle Stan!” You sobbed out. “Do something, please! Help me!”
“K-Kid, I…” He walks towards you. His words were failing him, he didn’t know what to say. He had just ripped your father away from you and he lost his brother. Not knowing what else to do, he wraps you in a hug as you painfully sob into his jacket.
“I’m sorry, kid.”
@catr4dora @squ4respace i hope u guys liked it!! i wrote it with u guys in mind LMFAO and if u didn't im so sorry gulp
#gravity falls#gravity falls x reader#stanford pines x reader#stanford pines#stanford pines x child!reader#stanford pines x daughter! reader#stanford pines x daughter!reader#ford pines x child!reader#ford pines x daughter!reader#ford pines x daughter#ford pines x reader#ford pines#fiddleford mcgucket#stanford x fiddleford#fiddleauthor#fiddleford x stanford
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HI I JUST READ YOUR "SIMON BETRAY YOU" AND YOU KNOW WHATTTT IT HURTS SOO GOOD OMG THANKS FOR MAKING THATT SJWISHWBSHSJSBWJSBWBS
...
and.. maybe can you write for a part two? pleaseee🥺
HIII TYSM IM SO GLAD YOU ENJOYED!!! here's a pt 2! i am very sick at the moment, though, so this might be a bunch of gibberish (i sincerely apologize if so). hope you like it <3
simon riley betrays you pt. 2
simon "ghost" riley x reader || pt. 1 || masterlist
☆ ☆ ☆
-miraculously, they let you go.
-you half expected someone to drag you out of the car with the barrel of a gun pressed against your temple with the intent to fire, but no. after a few excruciatingly long hours alone with your arms and legs bound, someone new came to cut your ties and let you loose.
-maybe they were just bad at their job, you thought. after all, why would they let you, essentially a witness, go free without any repercussions?
-a few years pass. you try to move on, but its impossible when your entire world was shattered in one night.
-you never heard back from your father since then, but that wasn't the thing that hurt the most. you couldn't go a single day without thinking about the sting of betrayal. any happy moment you had was spent comparing the time you felt that same feeling with him, before anything in the world was wrong to you.
-what's worse, there was something telling you that you shouldn't tell anyone about it even if you wanted to. a voice in your head kept telling you that maybe, maybe they're keeping you on a leash. maybe someone was watching you at this very moment ready to take you out the moment you spilled your experiences.
-in a way, your fears are confirmed when you meet simon again miles away from the last place you lived. you had moved for this exact reason; you never wanted to see his face for as long as you lived.
-it happens when you're walking alone in the street. you moved to this area specifically because you heard it was quieter and, more importantly, safer. but how much of that could you escape, really?
-your attacker approaches you as you're making your walk home from work, a kind of confidence on his face that makes the common individual want to roll their eyes.
-"what's a sweet thing like you doing out alone at night, huh?" he asks, his footsteps staggered like he's had one too many drinks.
-you give him the usual speel of, "oh, my friends are waiting for me... yeah, i've got a boyfriend. haha, i'm okay, no need to accompany me, thanks."
-your soft attempts at rejection only seem to agitate him, because next thing you know he's stepping toward you and putting a hand on your arm with a bone-crushing grip.
-"c'mon jus' let me-"
-his voice is cut off by the sound of a loud thud and the stranger's yelp of pain. it takes you a second, but you realize the defense on your behalf came from beside you.
-oh, thank god.
-you and your now injured attacker now adjust your gazes to sit on the silent newcomer. just like that, your settled sense of dread has come back and increased tenfold.
-there he was, with that stupid mask over his face and his hands curled into fists for preparation of what he was going to do next if the man didn't scurry off.
-"you'll leave," he says darkly under subtle pants, as if he ran before coming to your rescue. "if you know what's good for you."
-the stranger wastes no time in running off into the night, leaving you with your worst nightmare.
-for a while, you both stare at each other like you can't believe the other is real. it takes everything in you not to cry or beg him for answers. no, after everything you worked for, you're not going to throw away everything you built in the past few years to recover from him just to throw it all away now... right?
-"why are you here?" you ask coldly. "come to finish the job?"
-although your eyes were icy and your questions came with a rigid tone, there was genuine fear in your question. what if the soldier that untied you wasn't supposed to? what if you were supposed to be dead all those years ago?
-"no. never."
-even though he knows the reason why, his heart still hurts at the thought of you believing he'd just up and kill you like that.
-"really? that's rich," you scoff, except you're terrible at hiding the tremble in your breath and the tremors traveling through your body.
-spotting your growing fear, he scrambles for something, anything, to make you fear him less.
-"i was worried, that's all. after that night," he pauses, eventually deciding to skip the details of what he did to your father. "i didn't know where you went. thought i could just get over it, but i guess i just knew i needed to check in on you just in case."
-you resist the urge to roll you eyes. "right. you're back again to 'check in on me'? to come back and meddle in my life again?" you're struggling to keep your tears back as they form in your eyes. "you've already taken so much. how selfish can you be?"
-he stares at you for a moment before slipping his hand into his pocket and taking out a gold watch that belonged to your dad.
-"i'm sorry about your father, but you have to understand that he-"
-"not that, simon. it was never that," you push his hand away and the offer that came with it. his eyes became confused. "i mean you. it's always been you. you just come into my life telling me you love me, that you want to be with me so much and then just take that all away? and you never even bothered to tell me it was a lie, just let me get tied up by some stranger to be left alone and scared!"
-there's a new look in simon's eyes at your words, but it's hard to decipher them from behind the mask.
-"it wasn't a lie," he says slowly, lowering the hand with the watch in it back to his side.
-"oh, please." the trembling has not died down in the slightest. "i bet you're still mad that worker of yours took pity on me and let me leave before you could do anything about it. like i said, back to finish the job."
-your eyes are now trained on the ground. there was a conflicted feeling in your body at the moment. on one hand, this was the man that let you get tied up and left in a car while he "handled" your father. on the other, this was the man you loved. the one who was kind to your ever desire, who always understood you in ways you never knew possible.
-"i told them to let you go," he finally manages.
-"what?"
"i..." he hesitates. "i told my captain that if i was going to give them your father's location, they were to let you go no questions asked when the whole ordeal was over with." and it was true. he hated even imagining poor you, being interrogated by his colleagues in an isolated, barren room. you had been through enough.
-and even if you had been a part of your father's scheme, there was a part of simon that loved you too much to care (though he'd never admit it to himself).
-it was a good thing price trusted his judgment. he didn't know what he would've done had he said no.
-the tears are now streaming down your face and you can do nothing to stop it. it all felt like so much. you were so, so confused. if he did love you, why did you feel this way? how much of this could you trust?
-cautiously, he goes to wipe the tears away from your face, murmuring a quiet, "hate it when you cry." for a second, it was a familiar feeling. you felt like you were back in your shared flat with simon while having a breakdown over life's struggles. in moments like those, you never would have expectated that life's struggles could take the form of simon himself.
-you can't help but lean into his touch. maybe you were insane for allowing him to touch you like this, but you wanted nothing more than to let him into your life again. the resolve you worked so hard to build was crumbling away the longer you spent with him.
-"the reason it took so long for me to find you..." he's holding your face in his hands, now. "for so long, i thought i ought to leave you alone. i know i should. i wasn't lying about when i said i was worried if you were still alive, but," he swallows the lump in his throat before continuing. "i also miss you. 'nd i know, 's incredibly selfish of me after everything i've done to you, but i can't help it."
-one of his hands leaves your face to slide the mask and balaclava off his face. there he was again, his aged brown eyes and soft jawline, the sides of his face littered with small scars you still remember to this day.
-"i'll make it up to you," he whispers. "anything you ask, i'll answer. about my past, your father, anything. you ask me to get you something, i'll have it for you wrapped all nice 'nd pretty. hell, i'll get on my knees and pray to you if you order me to, love."
-it was like your nightmare turned into a fantasy, having him here begging for your forgiveness.
-"anything you want, i want to give to you. jus' let me be a little selfish, too."
-you bite your lip as you think it over. you know the correct answer would be a clear, hard no, but you can't bring yourself to do it. not after all those nights wishing he was encasing you in his arms again, whispering all the things he adored about you as you drifted off into sleep.
-as much as you shouldn't be believing him, you do.
-"...anything?" you ask hesitantly, and it takes everything in simon not to pull you in close and never let go.
-again. no, he needs to be sure he won't scare you off again.
-"anything," he promises, fingertips tracing the edge of your jawline.
-"okay," you agree, the tears finally having stopped flowing. happiness does not even begin to describe what simon was feeling. "for starters, you can walk me home."
-with the watch long forgotten and broken on the edge of the sidewalk, he holds your face for a bit longer before letting go. eventually, he offers his arm to you and you take it.
-there's a part of him that mourns the years lost that he could've had with you. maybe, if he came to you sooner, he wouldn't have to be so careful about being around you, now. but, no, these were the consequences of his actions.
-at the very least, you were still giving him a second chance, and he was intent on not fucking it up this time.
#call of duty imagine#call of duty x reader#cod x reader#cod imagine#cod mw x reader#simon riley imagine#simon riley x reader#simon ghost riley imagine#simon ghost riley x reader#ghost x reader#ghost imagine#simon riley x you#simon ghost riley x you#ghost x you#cod angst#call of duty angst#simon riley angst#ghost angst#rarawrites
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okay hear me out... nerd!annyeongz (g!p) who take the reader to pound-town for teasing them🤭🤭
[new anon unlocked!]
-🐶
lordt apologies to 🐶 anon IT'S BEEN LIKE... MONTHS?! 😭 this ask was collecting mold in my drafts omg BUT EHE i'm lucky i had some stuff on it so i can just continue where i left off :DD this is gonna be a bit long too so bear with me ya’llll 😭✊
you weren't their bully, per se... but you would be lying if you said that you didn't make fun of them every once in a while 🤭 they just looked like the biggest losers ever, how could you not? 😭 baggy sweatpants, big hoodies, thick glasses, noses glued to their textbooks, always scribbling something in their notebooks... but at least wonyoung knew how to style herself, yujin was fucking hopeless! and you always made sure she knew,, either by making fun of her outfit for that day, her messy hairdo, and the rugged way she carried herself around the halls... you're always on yujin's ass for no reason 😒😒
and then there's wonyoung who could totally climb on the very top of the social hierarchy if she so wanted to. she was extraordinarily pretty, moderately rich, can definitely fight bcs you were always impressed with how stingy her side-eye is, but she wants to stick with her loser best friend 🙄 stupid girl...
seeing them together always made you excited bcs they were your daily dose of serotonin, for all the wrong reasons! but the thing doesn't happen until you catch them alone in a mostly empty classroom one day, huddled up in the back corner engaged in casual chatter with their textbooks and notebooks cluttered on their desks as usual... you were bored so you decided to pay them a visit!
"you know yujin, i always wondered—" you rudely interrupted their conversation, earning the usual frowns you get from them whenever they see you. ugh wonyoung was so cute glaring at you since you were once again attacking her bff just for the fun of it,, yujin was even cuter. head hanging low, fidgeting with the cuffs of her sleeves... but god she looked pathetic :(( "—how you would look without these..." you pulled yujin's glasses off her face before either of them could react,,
DSKHKSMVK your breath getting caught in your throat after seeing yujin without her glasses??? "well damn.. who knew you could be so sexy, ahn?" you teased, licking your lips and shooting the tall girl a suggestive look bcs she genuinely did look fucking hot???? "you should keep this look! or else you'll never get laid! that's gonna be a waste of that big dick." ofc that was the one thing about yujin that was appealing to you :((
🫠 wony being the one that gets the courage to stand up, trying to snatch yujin's glasses back but you raised up it in the air, laughing and just being a little shit 😭😭 it was funny until you found your ass backed up against their desk, now wonyoung looked intimidating bcs of how much she towered over you and that scary little glare she had on 😰 “leave unnie alone. this is the first and last time i’ll ask.” see now that made you laugh again! she was intimidating, sure, but oh her face was just too cute! and you couldn’t take her seriously when she wore that stupid sweatshirt with the university mascot on it! she even matched with yujin! “what are you gonna do? punish me?” you teased, tilting your head and giggling.. you were so annoying 😭
and then wonyoung sneaks her knee in between your thighs, shutting you up immediately bcs now she was wayyy too close 🫣 “that’s a great idea actually. i always wanted to know if the ‘campus whore’ deserved her title.” whoawhoawhoa 😳😳 you wouldn’t even be able to spit back since wony raises her knee and presses it against your cunt! and ofc you whimpered… and ofc wony doesn’t waste the opportunity to grab your hair from behind and force you to look up at her… “unnie, you wouldn’t believe how wet she is.” wonyoung tells yujin, dark eyes locked onto yours while she slowly moved her thigh… 😵💫
“i-i wanna feel too…” yujin was quick to put her hands on you! bcs in truth, even when you're so horrible and straight up rude to her, she secretly gets off to you 💔💔 she’s kinda creepy with it too… stalking your social medias, admiring your pics and jacking off to them from time to time… and every time you’re all up in her face being a bitch all she can think about is using your mouth and filling it up with her load… maybe she’ll get that chance today! 🤤🤤 while wony’s making your ride her thigh, yujin has already ripped your uniform open and pulled your bra down to fondle your tits with her shaking hands… god she was so clumsy! 🙄 (she has never touched a girl in her life, give her a break!)
and both of them make their little dreams come true with their favorite position: yujin seated on a chair while you’re deepthroating her as you’re bent over with wonyoung pounding your tight ass with her own monster of a cock 🫣🫣 you couldn’t believe that the two losers filled you up better than any of the guys or the hot girls you fucked before.. it was almost humiliating how into it you were! allowing the dumb virgin ahn yujin to grab the back of your head and move you up and down her length.. she was so obnoxiously loud that people wandering around the halls probably heard her 😳 and then there was wonyoung who clearly had a lot of anger to express towards you! ramming her cock in your hole and driving herself crazy with how well you can take both of them! fuck, if she was petty enough she could get you pregnant… but that was a mission for another day 🤭 for now she needed her revenge, and that she will get, that’s for sure! 🫢
poor yujinnie who’s too caught up in the feeling that she practically forces her cum down your throat.. she doesn’t hear your gags or feel how you’ve drawn blood on her thigh with your sharp nails 😣 “f-fuck… yujin-unnie, y-you have to fuck her for real… so fucking tight i can’t believe it.. ah!” ugh being talked about as if you were some kind of toy by jang wonyoung of all people was degrading by her voice was unnaturally high-pitched and whiny.. she (and yujin) was so cute and this all felt too good to fight against! 😵💫
and that was how the two biggest losers(?) of the campus got their way with the school whore with the big mouth 🤭 they may or may not have kept you in the classroom for a couple hours more.. just fucking you to their hearts’ content.. and it got even more fun when you ended up feeling like you didn’t have enough of them and invited them to your dorm room.. 😳
#🐶 anon#ive smut#ive x fem reader#ive x reader#ive imagines#ive scenarios#ahn yujin smut#ahn yujin scenarios#ahn yujin imagines#ahn yujin x fem reader#ahn yujin x reader#jang wonyoung smut#jang wonyoung scenarios#jang wonyoung imagines#jang wonyoung x reader#jang wonyoung x fem reader#girl group smut#girl group x reader#girl group imagines#girl group x fem reader#girl group scenarios#g!p ive#g!p ahn yujin#g!p jang wonyoung#g!p wonyoung#g!p yujin#g!p idol
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AITA for "using" a cucumber and putting it back in the fridge?
(🥒👌 to find later)
Please, I know it sounds nuts but hear me out. I feel awful and I need to know just how bad this is. Also, I intentionally left as much as possible vague as I am a minor and I do not want this to get removed for being too explicit. But the story will not make sense if I don't include certain things, please understand.
So I (16M) grew up in and currently still live in the bible belt, with extremely conservative evangelical parents. As a taste of what it's like, we have church 3 times a week, and church camp every summer. We are only allowed to access Netflix through a stupid content filter app and we can only use a restricted smart phone that is regularly checked at random by our parents. We get an hour and a half of computer usage every other day, and the internet on the computer is heavily filtered also. The only reason I have access to Tumblr and am able to post this now is because my best friend's older brother gave me his old android for my birthday a few years ago. His family is much more open minded, and I'm very close with them. I also think they have always felt a little bad for me with my family being the way they are.
I'm also gay. Obviously, my family does not know, and I intend to keep it that way. I won't go too deep into it, but it will suffice to say I struggled a lot when I was younger over this. The good thing is that in the last few years, I've been able to accept myself more and come to terms with what my own feelings about religion and faith really are. I came out to my best friend and his brother a little over a year ago, and they've been very supportive. I have yet to tell any of my other friends.
Recently, I've been trying out alcohol since my friends found a hookup. Something I have discovered is that I tend to get lewd feelings when I drink, which has nearly caused a few embarrassing moments around friends. Coincidentally, I have also been experimenting with... certain things. Being a minor, I obviously can't enter any of the adult stores around me, nor would I feel comfortable asking any of my friends to drive me there if I could. I also can't order anything online because my bank account is connected to my parents, and I don't have a shipping address I'm comfortable using for those items either. So instead, I use household objects that belong to me and can be sanitized easily. You might see where this is going.
Yesterday evening, I came home from best friend's house with a full bottle of wine in my backpack. We and a few other friends had already been sipping on a few beers that afternoon, and I still felt a little buzzed. After my family went to sleep, despite already having a little alcohol in my system, I proceeded to get wasted on this bottle of wine in my room. I don't have the clearest memory of all of this, but at some point, I got hungry and lewd-feeling. Went into the kitchen and, through some kind of thought process I can only imagine now, came back into my room with a cucumber. From the title of the post, you can hazard a guess as to what happened to this cucumber. Once I was done, I drukedly and quickly washed it in the bathroom sink and threw it back into the fridge. I went to sleep.
I started freaking out as soon as I woke up this morning. There were four cucumbers in the fridge, I was pretty positive at least two were going to be used for dinner tonight, and I had no idea which cucumber I did the deed with. To make matters worse, my mom was inviting the pastor of our church and his family over for dinner. I have practically no money currently, no license or vehicle, and no friends with vehicles free to pick up new cucumbers for me (and no reasonable explanation as to why I needed them to spot me for four cucumbers specifically). I also have no believable reason to give for why we shouldn't have cucumbers added in the salad mix. My mom knows I love them, and they haven't gone bad. Can't say I ate them because who the hell eats four raw cucumbers? And she'll interrogate both my brother and I until she gets a satisfying answer if I just throw them out. I didn't know what the hell to do about this and I was close to having a panic attack, so... I took a nap.
Evening came. Guests came over, dinner happened. We had porkchops with macaroni and side salads. Cucumbers were in the salad, and I along with pastor's family and my own, ate it like nothing was wrong. My parents, the pastor and his wife had an engaging conversation about politics, religion, and some mild church gossip after dinner. My little brother continued to read his book, and I had a very awkward and one-sided conversation about Young Sheldon with the pastor's daughter. Then they left. And I went to my room to mentally implode.
To say I'm horrified is a major understatement. I don't think anyone is going to get sick because I scrubbed all of the cucumbers with soap multiple times and cleaned the vegetable drawer with bleach when I woke up this morning. I guess I also don't know that the violated cucumber was one of the ones that was used for dinner tonight, but then it's only a matter of days until we have salad again, or if mom cuts one up for water. I've rattled my brain for any way I could get some new cucumbers without telling anyone the details of the event, but I have nothing. Don't even have the money, anyway. Gave up the last bit of cash I had for the damn wine yesterday, and I have $0.43 in total on my debit card.
Admittedly, there is a very small part of me that doesn't even really care if they have eaten or end up eating the damn thing. I can't stand my family. My parents are invasive, controlling and neurotic, and don't give a shit about how I'm doing in so far as it pertains to god and the church. I'm a little more sympathetic to my brother as he's been stuck in this hell with me, but at 13 he's already begun to regurgitate way more religious dogma than I ever did at his age. And I know for a fact that they would want nothing to do with me if they found out I was gay. They'd probably kick me out on the street and spit on me if I had to guess. But even still, this is only a small part of how I feel. What I did was still so gross, and no amount of animosity I have for them can change how mortifed I am. I do have at least a semblance of a conscience.
So...AITA for all of this? WIBTA if I did nothing about the other two cucumbers? Please help.
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THE ENTIRE DRAGON AGE AMA IS A DUMPSTER FIRE
They avoided all the high-rated questions with genuine criticism (not blind hate!) and went for questions that were safer and allowed them more leeway. After that awful IGN article and that treatment of Davrin...God, just put it down. I have no faith that BioWare will be able to continue Dragon Age or Mass Effect with the respect it deserves.
Edit - They had an opportunity for genuine discussion with fans who were concerned/unhappy with the way Veilguard was -> people unhappy with the story, the marketing, the lack of 'RP' options in an RPG, etc... Instead they just doubled-down even more, avoiding those critical questions, with no real acknowledgement that fans have very reasonable problems with this game.
Some Highlights & My Initial Ramblings Below:
The Executors
"They attempt to manipulate events in the most subtle way they can manage."
So, very clear that they're not simply observers of what is happening in Thedas: they're manipulators...
"Magical Illuminati Confirmed! Lizard People Did 9:30 Dragon!!!!"
All that complexity of character -> his hatred of Orlais, his experience as a general, his relationship with Cailain, and the influence of Howe...all diminished. Any influence from a shadow cabal is too much influence - all the humanity of Loghain's choices/consequences...God, what a waste.
Not to mention what this does to other events/characters in the series -> they imply they've been intervening as far back as the magisters breaking into the golden city. I do not find this compelling! At all!
2. Solas and the Executors
Oh my god, he sounds like such a fucking Mary-Sue I'm so sick of Solas at this point -> "Actually, I know more about the Executors than anyone alive - not even the rest of the Gods know as much as me."
("I'm also, like, an Ancient Elven God, I'm responsible for the Blight and the Veil, and I kind of locked the Gods away cause they were evil - but, like, I'm really sad about it. Also the Herald of Andraste thinks I'm cute <3")
<- Previous comments: massive oversimplification, obviously
But I miss the days when not everything was about Solas. It removes so much interest and wonder in this world when the fucking egg is behind it all. I loved him as a character in DAI and now I just feel this bone deep tiredness when I see his stupid face.
Don't you dare threaten to bring Gareth David-Lloyd back -> keep him away from this mess!
3. The Fate of the Rest of the Evanuris
Yay. I'm so looking forwards to "The Return of the Elves: Electric Boogaloo 2" - it was done so well the first time!
"It was the elves all along!"
The only character with any potential to be interesting is Andruil*, but how they handled all this lore was done so shallowly and so poorly that I find it hard to give a damn anymore. Not to mention that the game literally mentions Ghilan'nain mourning Andruil - so is this a retcon/redirection/or have you confirmed that one of the most interesting members of the Evanuris' is dead?
*interesting in that she's established in lore to potentially have a tonne of really cool things attached to her (the void armour, the great weapon she has etc...). The rest of the evanuris are nowhere near as well established as she is.
4. Southern Thedas, Sociopolitical Issues, and Future Games
NOW YOU WANT TO INCORPORATE GEO-POLITCAL EXPLORATION?? You avoided any meaningful discussion like the plague in DATV but now you're acknowledging it?? OkaY. okAy.
They couldn't even give us the long-term ramifications of the mage/templar war how the hell am I supposed to believe that they will be able to pull off 'elven gods are real' etc...? For a game series that totes : your choices matter -> they have not proven that they have been able to show that in a meaningful way. They literally cleaned the slate with this game to avoid doing that.
So, what, does that mean that the Veil is never going to come down now? Or are you going to have the entirety of Thedas build themselves up again just to have the Veil fall and send things into chaos once more?
What a fatalistic, miserable outcome for Thedas -> why the fuck would anyone bother to live in Thedas if you're going to keep throwing meteorites at them? By all means, change/conflict has to happen for the series to move forwards...but this is just so miserable at this point.
(The Elder Scrolls, at least, gives people room to breathe between crisis' or sets them up in different areas of the world! Bethesda treats past installments/your decisions with greater respect than DATV does.)
Even, then, if the Veil remains up, that means that the spirits are just trapped in the Fade being miserable for the rest of existence. The entire series has been humanizing spirits, from Justice to Cole, and now they're just throwing in the towel? I guess they can stay in the fade now! Problem solved!
What do you mean the Evanuris are not a threat anymore? IN A PREVIOUS QUESTION YOU LITERALLY SAID SOME ARE STILL POTENTIALLY KICKING AROUND THE BLACK CITY?
Weakened, sure, but Solas was 'weak' in DAI. You're giving yourself an out if you decide to go back to the elves again. Please do, I'd love more content on how the elves alone fuck everything up!
5. More Southern Thedas, the Chantry, and Tevinter
Thanks for the confirmation that things in the South are so fucked up that they have to work alongside the 'Slave Capital' of the known world to rebuild!
Slavery was one of the biggest things that caused a rift between the north/south chantry system -> one of the reasons why there were exalted marches -> a uniting belief in the south is that slavery is fucked. They didn't address slavery in DATV - what hopes are there that they will do so effectively in a future game?
Don't tell me that Dorian fixes everything off screen either -> either he solves slavery off-screen or the south is being forced to work the slaver-capitol because their land is nuked and they have no ground to stand on.
I'm so thrilled.
6. Solas and the Idol / The Blight
I will never get over Solas fucking curing the Blight off-screen and no one asking questions/giving a shit. Hello?? The Hero of Ferelden would like a word with you???
So the Blight is calcified in Minrathous, at least, but everywhere further away is still fucked! Once more, the South is doomed to suffer from the long-term effects that regular blights have -> not to mention the red lyrium (which still exists according to the AMA) across the south.
I don't care; it's lame. It's a lame way to conclude the blight and I hate it. This game did not earn 'cure the blight from thedas' at all. You could have had us learn how to soothe a titan and see how that can diminish the blight but you did it this way.
Another 'magical ritual' because Solas has such a good track record with them lmao.
7. The Agents of Fen'Harel / The War with the Qun / The Crows
Turned him against the idea of being a leader???!!
Fen'harel's Call to the Elven People After the events at the Winter Palace, elves left the Inquisition under mysterious circumstances, as did elven servants across Thedas. None could say where they went, but those who believed the Inquisitor's story about Fen'Harel wondered just how large the Dread Wolf's forces were... and what the ancient elven rebel had planned. This is from the Trespasser Epilogue, Epler!
Your concept art for Joplin literally had him as a leader of a faction of elves. Just be honest that it's a retcon and you changed course - don't try to save face with this reasoning.
About the Antaam: "We needed some big mindless bad guys to fight and so we did this because we didn't want to address the Qunari War/Invasion we set up in Trespasser".
You had to canonize Sten as being alive and Arishok in order for this reasoning to work -> you didn't even come up with an alternative Arishok to take Sten's place.
Yeah, the exchange that set up the Crows we see in the game as "idealists" did not make the game. I can confirm that!
I'm sorry, "Caterina kept Illario in check?" as in, 'kept him an idealist and not the usual Crow'? The woman that beat him with a cane and starved him and his cousin to train them as Crows. Fuck off.
lmao -> tell me you're coming up with this on the spot without telling me that you're coming up with this on the spot.
8. World State Discrepancies - Isabela
Outright ignores the very real criticism about the marketing from this game and World States.
"there are absolutely places where we unintentionally suggested there was a hard canon (...that Isabela is always assumed to have joined Hawke's party.)"
Unintentional?
Excuse me, you have her talk about Merrill and the Kirkwall Crew as family - that was not unintentional in the slightest. Not to mention Sten, Blackwall, Sera, and Cole are canonized as being part of your world state no matter what.
You had a story you wanted to tell - one that only fit a few world states - and you went ahead with it and disregarded those choices. Don't try and lie about this all being a big misunderstanding.
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Edit - They could have taken the opportunity to address the very reasonable criticisms that people had with this game but they cherry-picked questions and avoided/minimized anything remotely critical.
They could have provided us some insight into the game development time but each time they approached the topic they settled for "we're happy with what we delivered and it was well optimized."
They had an opportunity to acknowledge that people were bothered by the handling of the lore/stories (to potentially mention they could course-correct/ rethink their plans) but instead they doubled down on everything that they did and even 'justified' some decisions. They doubled down on the Executors, Solas's changing motivations, the destruction of Southern Thedas, and the elves/Solas being at the heart of everything etc...
This AMA basically confirmed that the only reason they did what they did to the south was for a reset -> It's not a compelling or fulfilling narrative to have everything we've done reset back to ground zero off-screen. BioWare games differentiate themselves from other RPG's by their import system from previous games - it was compelling and exciting! With DATV they set the expectation that BioWare can outright throw out entire games worth of choices/build up, not solely retcon them.
Justifying your choice to water down the lore/world of your story by saying you'll address it in the 'next game' does not instill me with confidence, BioWare! It doesn't explain that lack of it in this game either!
They avoided every question that, rightfully so, pointed out the misleading comments made by devs in the pre-order period of the game:
the fact that there were only 3 imported choices from previous games was leaked by a reviewer -> BioWare was vague from the start about choices
that this game was the most 'romantic' in the series
that world states/ headcanons wouldn't be disrespected
that there are 'lore' reasons for bad darkspawn design
that there are lasting, impactful choices/consequences to be made in this game
that the lore/world was not watered or toned down
that companions are deep and you can disagree with them etc...
BioWare's behavior towards their customers in the lead up period to this games release was downright scummy. I absolutely felt misled after playing the game for myself and recalling what I read in interviews put out. While EA is undoubtedly poison, you can't hold them solely accountable for this.
I feel for the individual developers who worked on this in what was undoubtedly a toxic environment from EA - but I feel that it's pretty clear that BioWare itself has a lot of problems within and in their leadership/executives. Working for EA does not give them an excuse to mislead their customers.
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I already had a very grim outlook on the franchise from the end of DATV but this literally look my interest out the back and sent it to God. What a disaster.
#what a dumpster fire#I thought it would be bad but not this bad#that IGN interview was awful too - how did anyone think it would help their public perception???#the lore and story has absolutely been ruined by the game#epler i will never forgive you for your godawful take on davrin - absolutely gross#does bioware's pr office hate them? is this some internal fuckery?? lmao#I'll have to edit my lore post because this makes everything worse than what I thought it was#its just such a grim way to end the series - with everything blighted and ruined#obviously don't attack devs! I'm not wishing for them to be harassed or anything - bioware as a studio is not in a good place imo#if you like it then I'm glad but this series is going in a direction that has absolutely no appeal to me :/#this game feels like it punishes me for caring about the world they created#edit - my bafflement has died down and I can add some more critical thoughts about what they could have taken this AMA opportunity to do#I've loved this series for around 12-13 years now and its just sad that its ending this way for me :(#datv spoilers#datv critical#dragon age the veilguard#bioware critical#veilguard critical
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end of beginning
summary: your perfectionist self can't settle and wants to improve your grades. no matter the cost... pairing: johnny x reader genre: smut warnings: professor/student dynamic, age gap (unspecified), dubcon, power play, neck-kissing, biting, spanking, fingering, slight dumbification, size kink (duh), unprotected sex, creampie, forbidden relationship, pet names (angel, baby, sweetheart) word count: 1.5k
You have never felt so foolish as you do now, standing outside of your professor’s cabinet, waiting for his office hours to start. This isn’t like you at all. You are usually at the top of each class, amazing students and teachers alike with your well-written assignments and outstanding participation in the discussions. You are usually the one that professors praise.
To say you feel embarrassed would be an understatement. You are not used to this, asking for help, admitting that you are falling behind, that your grades have never been worse. But if you want to graduate successfully, you have to swallow your pride and face the problem head on.
You don’t know what it is about Professor Suh’s lectures but you just can’t seem to focus. You try to take detailed notes as you do in your other classes, but you end up getting so lost in his beautiful voice, staring at his pretty face and thinking about his big hands as they flick through the pages that your notes end up being messy, incoherent and awfully inaccurate.
You have tried different strategies such as asking other students for their notes but nothing seems to work. So, in your desperation, you end up here, waiting for Professor Suh to put you out of your misery. You hope that no one else shows up during office hours ‘cause it would be too mortifying if other students find out and start making fun of you for being so behind on the material.
“Oh, Y/N!” Professor Suh exclaims in surprise as he unlocks the door to his cabinet, letting you in. “How long have you been waiting? Usually no one comes to these office hours so I’m a bit late. You should have emailed me.”
You stand nervously, your fingers digging into the tender skin of your already sweaty palms.
“I’m sorry, I didn’t realize…” you start to explain.
“No, you don’t have to apologize, it’s just unusual. Take a seat, make yourself comfortable,” he tries to reassure you in his calming voice.
You take off your bag, putting it on the ground and sit in the chair against his. God, you feel so stupid…
“So, what brings you here?” Professor Suh asks.
“You’ve probably noticed but my grades have been plummeting,” you murmur awkwardly.
“Well, if that’s what you call a couple of B’s, then sure, I guess,” he laughs softly.
“You don’t understand…I know other students may be happy with such grades but this is unusual for me.”
Professor Suh looks at you over his glasses in disbelief.
“You do realize that in real life nobody cares about grades, yes?”
“You’re right. I’m sorry I’ve wasted your time,” you reach to grab your bag but he stops you.
“I didn’t say that I wasn’t going to help you.”
You exhale in relief.
“What is troubling you the most? Is it the material?”
“I don’t know…It doesn’t make sense because I love literature, it’s always come easy to me. I just have a hard time focusing during your lectures, for some reason.”
“Must be my fault, then,” Professor Suh smiles knowingly. “My teaching method isn’t engaging enough.”
“N-no, that’s not what I m-meant,” you stammer nervously. “I’m just…easily distracted, I guess.”
“Oh? Are you like that in your other classes, as well?”
“Not really, no,” you admit, feeling even more embarrassed.
“See? Then I guess I need to improve. Find a way to help you focus,” Professor Suh insists.
“Please help me. I really don’t want to fail your class, it’s very important to me.”
“Is it important to you because you care about your grades or because you don’t want to let me down?” Professor Suh asks staring into your eyes.
The question is so direct that it takes you off guard. You want to look away but you are so captivated you don’t dare to blink.
“I…don’t want to disappoint you, Professor Suh,” you confess. “Your lectures are very engaging and I enjoy listening to them.”
“Do you enjoy the content or the sound of my voice?”
“Professor…” you break eye contact and you are far too gone to think clearly. What is this man doing to you?
Suddenly, he stands up in all his glory, walks to your chair and lifts your chin up with his finger.
“Answer the question.”
“What…what was the question again?” you ask dumbly.
He shakes his head in disapproval.
“Just as I feared. Helping you focus would be quite difficult.”
“I’m s-sorry, I’ll try harder.”
“You better.”
Grabbing a book from his desk, he opens it and puts it in front of you.
“Read. Out loud. Don’t stop unless I tell you to, understood?”
You nod eagerly and start reading.
“We like to think of the old-fashioned American classics as children’s books. Just childishness, on our part.”
Professor Suh starts playing with your hair gently, surprising you but you don’t dare to stop and continue reading to the best of your abilities.
“The world fears the new experience more than it fears anything.”
He is kissing your neck, biting even, eliciting soft moans out of you. How is that going to help you focus?! You feel like your brain is no longer working.
“Keep reading,” he reminds you.
“Cutting away the old emotions and consciousness. Don’t ask what is left.”
Professor Suh makes you stand up and then pushes you down abruptly so that your breasts and tummy are lying on the desk and your ass is up in the air.
“And you can please yourself, when you read the Scarlet Letter, whether you accept what that sugary, blue-eyed little darling of a Hawthorne has to say for himself-” you continue to read, voice shaky and lacking any confidence.
He lifts your skirt up, touching you in all the right places in all the wrong ways. You are so terrified of what is happening but you are even more terrified of stopping to read.
Professor Suh spanks your ass harshly the second you pause briefly.
“N-no, it h-hurts,” you cry out.
“Read,” he orders you and you have no choice but to obey.
“They didn’t come for freedom. Or if they did, they sadly went back on themselves.”
Professor Suh takes your panties off and slides his fingers inside your pussy easily, as you are embarrassingly wet. He assaults you vigorously, expecting you to keep reading.
“They came largerly to get away. In the long run, away from themselves.”
“You skipped a few sentences.”
Damnit, how did he catch that?
You go back to the parts you missed but your reading continues to be full of mistakes. Eventually, Professor Suh grows tired of that and takes the book away from you.
“I’m not sure this method is helpful,” he sighs and starts unbuckling his belt. “Might have to find another way for you to acquire knowledge.”
“S-sir?” your voice trembles, though you already anticipate what is coming.
“Stuff you full of it,” he explains calmly and enters you from behind.
You want to scream but you are so afraid of someone hearing that you bite your hand.
Professor Suh seems to notice your concerns, moves your hand away and presses his own against your mouth.
“Shhh, it’s okay, angel, I’m not going to hurt you,” he whispers gently while doing the opposite of what he’s saying.
He is so big that you feel as if he’s splitting you in half. Miraculously, you are still alive.
“You’re not good at focusing in my lectures anyway so I might as well give you something to remember during them,” he laughs. Oh, he’s so mean. You deserve it, though. For being so greedy. Not satisfied with a B. Stupid girl.
He removes his hand from your lips, trusting you not to make any loud noises.
“Do you want me to stop?”
Why ask now? He’s already gone this far…
“N-no, p-please,” you whimper helplessly.
“No as in stop or no as in keep going?”
You genuinely don’t know what the right answer is. If this is a test, then you’re surely failing.
Apparently, Professor Suh does not care what you have to say. Perhaps it’s your fault for being so slow…He keeps fucking you, going deeper inside of you than any man has ever been. Soon enough, he paints your walls white as if he’s an artist and not a literature professor.
You feel so dizzy, so brainless, so silly.
“Are you alive?” he asks, scooping you up into his big arms.
“N-no?” your response comes out with a questioning tone.
“Take all the time you need to recover,” he tells you thoughtfully.
“Can I ask you something, Professor Suh?”
“You should call me Johnny when we’re alone.”
“Oh, um…Johnny, what if someone had walked in?” you ask fearfully.
“Relax, sweetheart, I locked the door,” he laughs gently.
“Ah, that’s good.”
“Anything else you’re worried about?” Johnny plays with your breasts lazily as you sit in his lap.
“Um, yeah…”
“I’ll write you all A’s from now on if that’s what…”
“I don’t care about that anymore,” you confess teary-eyed. “Was this a one time thing for you, Johnny? Will I have to pretend nothing happened during your lectures?”
He caresses your hair just like how he did when this all started. For some reason, it doesn’t feel like the end.
“Oh, baby, this is just the beginning.”
The End
#nct smut#johnny suh smut#johnny x reader#nct#johnny#johnny smut#nct 127 smut#johnny suh x reader#nct johnny smut#nct imagines#johnny imagines#nct hard hours#nct scenarios#nct reader smut#writing
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“cause I'm a jealous girl”
— ( 🎙️ ) " it didn't feel like that when you were talking to her" she says her eyes almost looking hurt and mad
— ( 🖋️ ) fluff and angst , arguing , jelous lara , swearing, possessiveness (?) , some parts are lyrics!, drugs , drinking , party ,if I have forgotten any tags please tell me mwa
— ( 🎬 ) new theme! hope you guys like it ^^ , my themes are heavily inspired by @/ninguitar so please do check out their blog
the party was packed—people were squished together , many were passed out drunk and not to mention some were taking drugs
the only reason you came here in the first place was for your girlfriend lara, she loved parties and lively energy that surges throughout the place—it kept her alive and thriving
as usual lara was drinking and having fun with some of her friends, you decided to stay in the corner with some liquor in your hands , taking a swig — the burning sensation quickly made it's way to your throat making you wince
"you look amazing!" you hear someone compliment lara, she in fact looked amazing—she truly is a masterpiece in your perspective
"thanks!—i could say the same about you" lara replies her hands are now on the woman's waist — a little too much for your liking but you trust lara she's just naturally friendly right?
"ooh someones jelly" manon teases as she looks at where you were staring, "am not" you said with the same playful tone , you were , actually you were very much jelous — lara should be with you not with her either way you let it be
"whatever you say — besides you are practically just sitting in the corner the whole night! , talk to people you might just make new friends" manon suggests which you took into consideration
wasting no time you lift yourself off the couch and walk towards the table where some drinks were placed , men were glued to this spot which icked you but you saw some girls here earlier , maybe they'll come back
"hi there!" you hear a woman say behind you , you turn around to be greeted by a short woman , you knew her she was talking to lara earlier — either way she looks nice and honestly someone you wouldn't guess goes to parties like these
"hii~ I'm y/n how about you?" you ask giving her a warm smile , "ezrela! , you're lara's girlfriend right??" she replies with the same enthusiastic voice
"yep! , and you participated in the dream academy too right??" you ask a bit of doubt in your voice since you weren't sure , "sure did! — it was honestly very fun" ezrela replies to which you ask more about
a good 20 minutes passed by and you didn't even notice ezrela was really nice and friendly, her humor was a lot like yours
you felt a pair of eyes glued to you , surprise surprise it's lara she was watching you and ezrela talk like you two had been friends since birth , gosh her rbf was stronger now
"i hate to say this but I have to go" you said frowning at ezrela, she smiles instead and asks for your number to which you gave her "see you soon??" you ask , "sure!" she replies
you walk towards your girlfriend who looked like she would beat the fuck out of you , you knew she could never but she just looked so mad
"you remember me?" she says her voice dripping in faux surprise, here it starts, you could never catch a break can you? , "what do you mean? love don't tell me you're mad"
"what — I'm not just curious what you guys were talking about , you were smiling like a stupid kid" she replied, first she said you look like a stupid kid which A. you didn't and B. shes just mad , second she was very jealous
"we were talking about her experience in the dream academy" you replied hands on her arms , you can smell the air around you it smelt like cheap beer and sweat but lara smelled amazing like a musky and fresh one
she didn't reply for a minute seemingly thinking about what you said her face was still — like rbf? or maybe confused you didn't know
"oh her experience?" lara said emphasizing her , her fists curl into a ball , you knew she wasn't mad at ezrela she could never that woman was like the sweetest soul you know next to yoonchae
"baby why are you mad?? — you know I love you right?" you said reassuring her , as you take her hands into yours massaging her palm with your thumb
"it didn't look like that when you were talking to her" lara says her eyes looking hurt and mad , you messed up big time
"baby I love you so much" you tell her kissing her lips, repeating the words like a mantra , "I love you so much, I'm all yours don't worry" you said as you place the last kiss on her hands
"really?" lara asks there was no doubt in her voice , you knew that she knew you loved her
"really, now can we enjoy ourselves — I can't waste the night when you look so pretty" you say a giggle escaping your mouth you walk her towards the middle and dance sensually to the song
"baby I'm a gangster too and it takes two to tango"
"you don't wanna mess with me (mess with me) cause I'm a jealous jelous jelous girl" she repeats the lyrics
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FAVOURITE PERSON — AJ (SWEETPEA)
masterlist
pairing: aj (sweetpea) x reader
description: in an attempt to get over your feelings for your best friend aj, you’re out on a date — but when aj calls to say he’s at your door with food, you can’t help but rush straight home to your favourite person.
warnings: bit of swearing but otherwise just fluff and cuteness and awkward confessions, may be a bit ooc as i’m still figuring out how to write aj !!! but hopefully you enjoy
author’s note: the aj fic drought needed resolving so i’m here to help! not well atm so it may not be my best work — i’ll come back and edit when i’m feeling better, just wanted to get this out <3 please please let me know your thoughts & enjoy!
———
“Oh just a second, I’d better get this.”
Your date, sat across from you in a bar you’d never normally frequent, looked less than impressed as you lifted your phone from the table and rose to your feet.
He’d seen the contact name before you’d had the chance to pick it up, but that was a conversation for later.
AJ was your best friend — and given that you’d not told him you were on a date, you didn’t want to leave him worrying if you didn’t answer given that you were usually chronically on your phone.
You slipped into the quiet of the ladies bathroom, pressing the answer button with haste.
“Hey AJ, what’s up? Sorry I—,”
“Have you got your headphones in or something?”
Your brows furrowed, “No, I’m—,”
“Well I’ve been ringing the doorbell for like ten minutes and I’m— shit, are you out? Shit, shit, shit, why didn’t I think of that?” you could practically hear him beating himself up for not considering the prospect sooner.
Why did your chest seize up at the idea of telling him you were on a date?
“Sorry,” you bit your lip, “Is everything alright?”
You heard him sigh, “In an apparent effort to win biggest idiot of the year, I’m at your door with an insane amount of Chinese food without having checked if you were even in the house first to eat it with me.”
“In your defense, you’re usually the only reason besides work that I do leave the house.”
That wasn’t a lie.
Since moving here, you’d made little effort to make friends.
You’d met AJ on your very first day in the area and clicked instantly, and now any spare time not reserved for binging shit TV was instead spent with him or, at most, his small circle of friends.
You’d toed the line between friends and something more for a long time, but given his awkward charm and the way women seemed to look at him (however oblivious he remained) — you’d never wanted to risk ruining your friendship by telling him it was something more that you wanted.
You’d settle for friendship, even if it was hard to ignore the butterflies that seemed to multiply in your stomach each time you were with him.
And that was how you’d found yourself on this stupid date, in a stupid skin tight dress and drinking cocktails you’d never touch with a man you could so far hardly even tolerate, let alone fancy.
Your attempt to move on from the schoolgirl crush you had on your best friend was so far proving immensely unsuccessful.
“Where are you, then?” he enquired, and you could tell he felt intrusive asking despite it being a totally valid question, “Since—since like you said, it’s unlike you. Not that you can’t be— I can leave you to it? More food for me.”
You gulped, eyeing the toilet cubicle door and considering how worthwhile this date really was.
“I’m just out for dinner,” you gulped, “But we’ve not ordered yet, I can leave.”
He coughed, “Oh nice, who wi— Oh shit, are you on a date?”
“It’s a waste of time, really. I’d rather be at home with you. In fact I’m craving chow mein, really.”
The embarrassment at your blurted honesty, combined with the guilt at calling your date a waste of time, made you want the earth to swallow you whole.
“You don’t have to say that, Y/N,” the disappointment in his voice was palpable, and you only hoped you weren’t imagining it.
“I’m not just saying it, AJ,” you sighed, “Why do you think I rushed off to answer the phone to you?”
He chuckled, believing you a little more now, “Who knows, maybe you were just worried I’d done something stupid and needed help from my best friend? Sorry, just had a long day at the Gazette and thought I’d burden you with my whining and sweeten the deal with some food.”
You shook your head, “I’ll be ten minutes, alright? Spare key is under the mat if you haven’t got yours — make yourself comfortable and don’t eat all the chow mein before I get there, okay?”
“Promise.”
—
Your date, whose name your AJ-hazed brain could barely remember, definitely did not believe your excuses for rushing out for a family emergency.
But you didn’t care — you’d sacrifice any chance of dating someone if it meant you could spend more time with AJ.
“Home, sweet home,” you announced the second you stepped through the door, your nose immediately catching the scent of the food AJ had brought over, “Fuck me, it smells good in here.”
Immediately AJ’s head peered round the door from your kitchen, about to make a jokey quip about how fast you’d arrived but stopping when he took the sight of you in.
The dress clinging to your skin was not like anything you usually wore, and for a moment you worried he was judging you for having gone out to meet a guy in such a low-cut daring outfit.
That fear dissipated, though, when you noticed the crimson blush staining his cheeks and the subtle bite of his lip that he tried to hide as he cleared his throat.
“Hey, you were, uh, quick,” he gulped, stepping out fully now and wiping his palms on his jeans, “Food’s all ready. You look—well, he’s a lucky guy— well, I guess he would’ve been. Or—or, he was for a bit. I’m—,”
You giggled, sauntering over to him and enveloping him in a hug, “It’s fine, AJ, I get your point. And thank you, but I’m going to have to get out of this horrible dress and into something comfy because I plan on eating twice my body weight and I can’t do that if I can barely breathe…”
“That’s cool, yeah sure,” you could see him trying desperately not to admire the way the dress suited your figure so perfectly, “I’ll just look for something to put on TV, yeah?”
“Mhm,” you hummed, before grunting when you realised how hard to reach the zip was. The cocktails you’d consumed so far had definitely gone to your head… Or at least that’s how you’d justify your next words, “Oh, do you mind helping me out with this stupid zip?”
“Oh, uh, sure.”
Trembling fingers reached up with only a moment’s hesitation, the warmth of his hands against your skin making you jolt away from his touch at first.
He was quick as ever with his apologies, but as were you, “Sorry, your hands are just warm.”
In leaning back into his touch, your proximity grew a fraction closer, and you could feel his breath on your neck as he finally made work of your zip — agonisingly slowly.
You knew he was just nervous, but the slow pace with which he unzipped the dress made you involuntarily tip back your head a little, savouring the contact.
“Ah, I can breathe again,” you joked, straightening your neck in hopes he didn’t see your moment of weakness, though your words were only half true as said breath caught in your throat at his hand still lingering at your waist, “All this for a bloke I don’t even fancy.”
He laughed, a small chuckle that fanned warm air over your neck again and pricked goosebumps on your skin.
“What, you practically running home just for chow mein didn’t for a minute suggest that you weren’t into this guy,” AJ joked, and you could hear the smile in his voice.
“I didn’t just run home for chow mein, AJ,” you hummed, spinning around to face him and placing your free hand on his arm to steady yourself as the other held up your dress.
His eyes narrowed as he carefully considered your words, unsure whether he’d correctly read between the lines.
“I wanted to see you, dummy,” you rolled your eyes, melting under the gaze of his soft brown ones, “My favourite person.”
His grin couldn’t possibly have been any wider in that moment, “Your favourite, huh?”
“Oh c’mon AJ, you know you are,” you shook your head, “Annoyingly, actually. Anyway I’ll go and get changed, and then you can watch me eat like a pig and forget I stood here with my dress unzipped boosting your ego, yeah pretty boy?”
“Pretty boy?” he smirked, raising his palms for a moment as you teasingly flipped him off and walked off to get changed, returning moments later in shorts and a tank top.
You both plated up your food in comfortable silence, curling up on the sofa and devouring your food in front of the TV with continued quiet, acutely aware that you were sat even closer than usual and your previous conversation was still lingering in the air.
Placing his empty plate on the coffee table, AJ cleared his throat, “So, uh, what was the problem with this guy then?”
You gulped, “Just wasn’t interested. Not my type? And we went somewhere shit.”
“Right,” he nodded, “Yeah, no, I get it.”
“I meant what I said,” he was so close to you again now, and something about the proximity made you brave again, “I wanted to be with you, that’s the reason I rushed home. I like nights in with you.”
“Well I’m glad you did,” he was staring into your eyes with such intensity you thought you might pass out, “I like nights in with you too.”
“Look, AJ—,”
“Can I say something really stupid?”
You furrowed your brows, “Sounds ominous, but of course. Anything.”
“I really like you,” he said with urgency, “Like, really like you. Like more than friends like you. And I hope this doesn’t mess our friendship up, and I’m sorry if it does, but you came home in such a rush from that date and I was so relieved and I just got a little hopeful because I feel a bit, like, sick at the thought of you going on dates with other people and I liked that you wanted to—to be here with me instead.”
Your heartbeat sped up exponentially, the thrum so loud against your chest you were sure he too could hear it.
“If it’s not obvious, I really like you too,” you leaned in a little closer, your legs touching now, “The idea of you with anyone else makes me feel a bit sick too. Very, actually. I’ve been so worried about ruining things between us but then you were here and then you helped me with my dress and I—,”
“I had to try so hard not to say anything when you—when you leaned back into me. And that dress…”
You blushed pink, a small smile gracing your features, “I was hoping you’d not noticed, especially because I assumed you’d judge me for such an un-me dress that hardly left much to the imagination…”
“Oh it still left plenty to be desired,” he paused, “Oh wow that sounded creepy. It wasn’t supposed to. You looked gorgeous, I mean you always do, but I only didn’t like it for like a fraction of second out of stupid jealousy that you’d dressed up for him, whoever he is.”
You giggled again now, reaching out to interlace your hands as you bit your lip. It was a relief to have your feelings out in the open, even if you weren’t yet sure what this meant for you.
“So where wouldn’t be a shit place for a date?”
You clicked your tongue, feigning deep thought for a moment, “I think the company was more the issue. I’d drink tacky cocktails and eat shitty food if it was with someone I really liked.”
He nodded, his usual tight-lipped shy smile returning for a moment, “Great — I’d really like to take you on a proper date soon.”
“Bold of you to assume I meant you, huh,” you poked out your tongue, watching his eyes flit to your mouth as you did so, “No seriously though, I’d love that.”
Comfortable silence resumed for a moment, until his left hand reached up to pull you into his lap and his right one rested on your jaw, his lips capturing yours in a kiss.
You settled in his lap immediately, arms circling his neck as you reciprocated the kiss enthusiastically, heart hammering against your chest.
You weren’t sure quite how long you stayed like this, pulling back only to gaze at each other for a moment and catch your breath every once in a while.
“Mm,” AJ’s hands both held your face now, the pad of his thumbs soothingly rubbing over your cheekbones, “We should probably put a movie on, as much as I could stay like this forever.”
You bit your lip, “It’s been a long day, I’m actually a little tired.”
For a moment AJ looked confused, and then disappointed, and it took a lot for you not to giggle at his clear misinterpretation.
“Oh, yeah, sure, I can go,” AJ fumbled, dropping his hands to his side, “Sorry, I didn’t think about the time.”
You shook your head, “Babe, I wasn’t trying to get rid of you. I was going to ask if you’d like to stay over.”
His eyes lit up again, a smile returning to his kiss-smothered lips, “Oh— yeah, yeah, I’d love that.”
He was almost smirking now, scooping you up in his arms and quickly clicking off the television as he turned towards your staircase.
You leaned into him further, pressing a small kiss to his neck, “I could get used to this.”
“Believe me, so could I.”
———
ok once again i lost my way half way through and this was a slog to finish because i haven’t figured out how best i can write AJ yet … but it’s my longest fic in a while & i hope you enjoyed!!! please let me me know what you think and feel free to request more aj imagines, and if you’d like to read more of my works, here is my masterlist <3
#aj sweetpea#calam lynch#aj#sweetpea#sky sweetpea#aj x reader#sweetpea imagine#sweetpea imagines#calam lynch imagine#theo sharpe x reader#theo sharpe#camnir
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Reach for me.
Pairing: Soldier Boy x fem!reader
Summary: he couldn’t love—or didn’t want to love, and you loved too much, so he did what he does best—push people away, push you away.
Warnings: angst, mentions of alcohol consumption, reference to physical violence (not to reader), internal conflict/self-loathing, self-sabotage (Ben), no use of y/n, English isn't my first language
A/n: okay, I was suppose to be working on 'sing a song for me" part 2 but I am very very stuck so I decided to write this. I promise it'll come out soon, I know it's been so long :'(
Word count: 1.2k
You thought you'd seen the worst of him already. The anger, the bitter sarcasm that he tossed carelessly, the silent stretches that left you feeling invisible. And it wasn't as though Ben was ever easy to love. He was a wreck half the time, and he did everything to make sure you knew you were disposable.
He had been in plenty of beds, all warmth and fleeting sighs—but empty. Nights were easy—it was everything that came after that he had no patience for.
Commitment? Stability? It wasn't his thing. He wasn’t the settling-down type, he’d tell himself. And he sure wasn’t made for a "forever." And yet… he’d come back to you, again and again, as if some part of him couldn’t help it. You, who’d been there in all those small, ordinary moments. The kind of quiet loyalty he didn’t know what to do with.
So, Ben had this way of making every little kindness of yours seem like it was nothing. A late-night meal you made him? "That all you got?" He would spit it right out. Patience with his anger? He'd scoff and say, "What, you really think you can fix me?"
And when you'd touch him, hand on his shoulder or your fingers tracing a line across his jaw, he'd look away, just enough so you'd see the faintest flicker of something. But then it would be gone, and he'd shut down again, like all the times before.
But you loved him anyway.
For some messed-up reason, you could see through it. Even when he pushed you away, you stayed. Patient, offering a love he didn't deserve—and he knew it himself.
Maybe it was your patience that made him resent you, that gentleness in your eyes when he spat venom at you. He had gotten used to people leaving the second they saw what a monster he could be, the second he showed them the violence he kept just under the surface. But you stayed, and he both loved and hated you for it, because you made him feel things he'd tried so hard to bury. And somewhere deep down, that terrified him.
Because Ben did love you. That was the worst part. He'd feel it sneak up on him in the quiet moments, when you were sleeping beside him, or laughing at something stupid he said or something he'd mumbled. He felt it every time he reached for you. He loved you in a way that made him feel vulnerable and open, like he had nothing left to hide.
Then came the night that changed everything. A night you'd never forget. When he came back stumbling in, blood on his knuckles and bruises across his jaw—he had gotten back from a fight. You took one look at him and knew he was aiming for another fight with you, eager to burn the only good thing he had left just to prove that he could.
He sneered at you, and you just waited, waited for him to burn out. And he did.
The sharpness and anger in his eyes burned till it was nothing but a wavering sight of lost and hurt, his body slumping against the wall and he couldn't bother to look into your eyes again. He might have broken down.
But then he did what he did best. Push people away.
"You think you love me? Fuckin' waste of time. I don't love, sweetheart. And it's pathetic that you keep hangin' on like this, thinking you're special." he spat, eyes filled with resentment when his eyes met yours again.
You held his gaze and didn't flinch. "I know you don't mean that."
That was when he snapped. His voice went cold, the kind of anger that ran deep. "Maybe you're just too stupid to get it. I don't want you here. Don't need you lookin' at me like I'm some fuckin' wounded dog." His words were harsh, but he knew they were bullshit, just another excuse he used to push you away.
And it worked. It worked.
Ben saw the way tears started to well up in your eyes as you stared at him, and that was what finally made him feel something close to regret. But he couldn't go back now. Couldn't unsay it. It would have been too painful to admit the truth, to admit that he was terrified.
So you left. Quietly, without another word, because there was nothing left to say. You just gathered your things, gave him one last look, and walked out, leaving him alone in that dimly lit apartment.
He'd won, hadn't he?
He had pushed you away. He got what he wanted. No more vulnerability, no more of that insufferable feeling of being known and loved despite everything he hated about himself.
He told himself he'd feel fine. After all, he'd done this before. He'd been alone, and he'd always been better for it. But lying in bed that night, staring up at the ceiling, he realized the silence around him had changed. It wasn't a silence he was used to—it was hollow, cold in a way he couldn't ignore.
Days passed, and Ben tried to drown it out, with alcohol, with meaningless fights he'd pick, with anything that might numb the ache, but they all just made it worse.
He'd find himself in the bathroom, throwing up from one too many drinks, and he almost missed the feeling of your hand on his back, rubbing soothingly as he heaved, your touch steady and comforting, even though he reeked of liquor and shame. When he was done, you'd wipe his face with a cold washcloth, taking care of him like he wasn't just some disaster you walked into.
He'd lie on the couch, afterward, barely conscious, the side of his head pressed against your lap as you stroked his hair. Even through that kind of haze, he'd feel your hand smoothing over his forehead, your thumb brushing against his temple.
Now he was throwing up by himself, sick and alone, and how he wished you were here with him right now. He'd lift his head up and catch himself looking over his shoulder, as if expecting you to be there for him, a hand rubbing his back through it all, like before. But you weren't.
He hated it. Hated how much he wanted that same kind of comfort again, that sense of security he let himself get used to. The same kind he didn't know he craved until you were gone. But most of all, he hated himself more for needing it.
He had pushed you away, and he really didn't have anyone to blame but himself, didn't he?
So he sat there, taking in the silence, the first time he's felt so... alone. He let himself feel it, the way you weren't there with him anymore. All the hurt and vulnerability, the pain he’d spent his life trying to shove down. He was alone, and he'd done it to himself. Because loving you had terrified him more than anything, and instead of facing that fear, he destroyed the one good thing he's ever had.
In the end, he did the one thing he was best at—and that was pushing you away.
#soldier boy#soldier boy x female reader#soldier boy x reader#soldier boy x y/n#soldier boy angst#soldier boy x you#soldier boy imagine#soldier boy the boys#soldier boy fic#soldier boy fanfiction#the boys#the boys amazon#the boys imagine#the boys au#the boys fanfic#the boys tv#jensen ackles
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