#I feel so tired and lonely I wish there were something to do today

[oglegoggle]

It would feel so nice to lay down in my huge foam bed and wrap up in a bunch of weighted blankies and fall asleep in another’s arms. That was so so nourishing.

[cjjohansson]

love is enough - p.2

natasha romanoff x reader // comfort? smut? reader has a penis. 18+

part 1

“I love you. After all this time, I still love you. It’s always been you, it was you yesterday, it was you 2 months ago, a year ago. It is you today, it will be you tomorrow and for the rest of my life it will be you, I love you Natasha.” 

Her hand moves to your face, your own head leaning into her palm as she takes the weight of it. 

“But what if love isn’t enough y/n?” 

---------

You stepped away from her slowly, the hurt and shock reflecting on your face. What could you say to that? Because deep down you know it is true. Love might come from a relationship and might help develop one but not only does love exist in one. 

Natasha deserves love. You deserve love. 

And it is that simple, sometimes it isn’t enough. And it is a shit realization as it comes out of her mouth.

So when you find yourself not able to say a word, she stares back at you, waiting. 

And then she turns to leave when you say nothing and you let her. 

You both need more time to think and breathe. A lot was said between you both that needs to be thought through. 

Could she forgive you for going on that mission? For destroying her while destroying yourself?

Could you forgive her for sleeping with another while she was lonely and in pain?

If only the questions were easier. 

You're not the only one conflicted in this. Natasha is too, how is she meant to trust that you’ll always be there, that you won’t abandon her for something else you believe you need to do? How is she meant to forgive herself for sleeping with someone else when it is already eating her alive? 

Your brain is running wild, question after question as you stay facing the door. 

You turn around to your bed, your belongings scattered all over. You can’t leave. You can’t.

Not now, not when you know there could still be a chance to be back with her. 

And god, would you do everything and anything to get her back. 

--------

You wish it took the same amount of time to put back your stuff as it did throwing it on your bed but it didn't. By now it was already reaching midnight. You had fargone going down to eat with the team. It hadn’t taken Bucky long to come up to your room and try to talk you into coming down. But you couldn’t, not with Natasha down there, it didn’t seem right to, not after what happened. It only shocked you when Bucky had then told you that Natasha didn’t go down either, and was refusing to even talk to anyone through her door. They only knew she was in there and alive due to FRIDAY telling them she was.

It broke you all over again. 

How many times was your heart going to break in one day?

You threw the last of your stuff off your bed, feeling too distracted in your thoughts to finish it. You were tired, yet wide awake. Hungry, yet awfully nauseous. Nothing was going to settle you but Natasha. 

You find yourself speaking to FRIDAY, asking if Natasha was awake and still in her room and if she had left to eat something or had something in her room. She was awake and in her room, yet she hadn't left to eat. 

You knew what to do. 

You asked FRIDAY to place an order from your favorite pizza place. One half and half, spicy chicken on one half and pepperoni on the other, along with some chicken wings on the side. It was one of your and Natashas favorite comfort food. It was what was needed right now and you hoped with your whole heart she allowed you in. 

Unsurprisingly the food doesn't take long at all, it never does when you're ordering to the compound. You make sure to double check with FRIDAY if Nat is still awake and she is. 

When you approach her door, you try to tell yourself this is the best thing to do right now. You both need to talk and stretching it out for longer will only make the situation even worse than it already is. So you take a breath, count to 10, remind yourself that this isn’t a stranger. This is someone you have been in love with since the moment you laid eyes on her. 

“Tash?” You knock gently on her door, pressing your ear against to hear any movement, you don’t.

“Natasha, please open the door…” You hear bed covers shuffling around until you see a shadow appear at the small gap at the bottom of the door. 

“I know you're there, I can hear you breathing and I can see your shadow…” Still nothing.

“I have pizza?” You hear the door click. 

She is already back in bed under her covers before you can even fully step into her room. You're always amazed at how fast she can be when she wants to be. 

You move to her slowly, closing the door behind you. Yet you hesitate when you reach her bed. Not knowing if it is now classed as crossing a line to sit on her bed or not. 

She shocks you when she scoots over in the bed and lifts up her covers…

“I…err…I have outside clothes on. You don’t like it when I-”

“You have a t-shirt in the third drawer.” She mutters as she holds her hand out for the pizza box. 

You awkwardly shuffle over to the drawer, finding your t-shirt right away. 

“Do you have any-”

“You can just wear your t-shirt and boxers, it isn’t like I haven't seen you naked before.” Your cheeks flush red, suddenly feeling embarrassed for being so awkward. You don't even understand why you are being like this. You know you came here to talk, that was the only intention, to talk and to try and fix what you broke in the first place. You hurry yourself in changing, before making your way back over to her bed and sliding in beside her. 

You try not to let it bother you when she sits up straighter and leans away from you to put the pizza box in between you both. 

“Why the pizza?” Natasha mutters yet again as she takes a bite of a slice. 

“Thought it could be some kind of peace offering while we talk?” She lets out a breathless chuckle, your body turning to face her quickly, a smile spreading on your own. It’s been too long since you heard her laugh.

“Always knew the way to my heart didn't you…” Your smile drops. Her words flutter through your head once again, ‘but what if love isn’t enough y/n’. You fiddle with the pizza in your hand moving it back to the box as you start to feel nauseous all over again. 

“Sorry, that…I suppose that isn’t fair after what I said earlier…”

“No, no it’s- you're fine. You are right by the way.” You turn to look at her again, her brows furrowed as she puts her slice down, closes the box and moves it to the side table, she moves closer to look at you and you try not to hold your breath. 

“You're right, sometimes love isn’t enough…because love is a feeling and yes those feelings can change but to me the only way they have changed is that they have only become even deeper, but regardless of that, relationships are more than just feelings. They’re also about actions, choices and commitments. And I neglected them, I ruined that by going on that mission. Because you're right again, that mission did ruin me and I know that deep down as much as I thought I needed to go and finish it, I didn’t and it ruined me even more. And because of my own actions and choices, I came back and I had lost the best thing that ever happened to me. I am so sorry for leaving, I am so sorry I destroyed you, I never meant for any of that to happen, I was so lost and I left you behind and that wasn't fair, so I promise Natasha, nothing like this will ever happen again. I’m not leaving, I’m not going anywhere. So yeah, sometimes love isnt enough Tasha, but I promise you this time and for the rest of our lives it will be.” Your voice is clear through your whole mini monologue, staring into her eyes so she knows how truthful you’re being. You need her to know and feel everything you're telling her, you need her to believe you. She stays quiet for a while, tears filling your eyes over the fear of her leaving, the fear of your words and promises not being enough. 

“I wanted you to stay so badly, I just, you have always put me first and I know you have. I get that this mission was hard, god it was such a difficult position for you to be in and I needed you to stay so I knew you were okay. You wouldn’t even let me come, it hurt, you kept pushing me away. You were having nightmares every night and you wouldn’t let me comfort you, I was just stuck. I felt like the person I was in love with was slipping away right in front of me and no matter what I tried to do, it didn't make a difference. And I got in my own head too, I felt like no matter how much I tried to love and look after you it wasn’t enough anymore…I generally thought you fell out of love with me, it was just so confusing. Leaving felt easier than staying and that’s when I knew I didn't have another choice, you know? And I fucked up after…I slept with someone barely a week after you left and that wasn't fair, it isn’t fair. I felt so shit and alone and hurt…I was just in self destruction mode and I know that isn’t an excuse. Just in my head, how I felt, I just wanted and needed to be loved and in the end I ended up feeling awful and dirty…I regret it, with everything in me, I regret everything that happened from the moment you left. But I just didn't know how to handle it? I love you Y/n, I do, I truly love you and I want everything with you, I always have and I always will. I need you to forgive me Y/n, for sleeping with her and ruining this too, I need you to forgive me.” Natasha isn’t very steady with her words, she never had been when it came to herself being vulnerable. Her words stuttered all over the place, tears streaming down her face. It was hard to not pull her into your arms and hold her against your chest, she needed to calm down, or she was going to hyperventilate and that was the last thing she needed right now. 

“Hey, shhh, I forgive you. As much as I hate that it happened, we both can’t change that it did. We weren’t together anymore, the moment I left, we broke up, I know that. I forgive you, Natasha. I forgive you.” You whisper into her ear as you lean down and hold her closer, her body moving to straddle your lap so you can hold her more comfortably. 

“You’re okay. I’m here, you’re here.” You whisper again in her ear, you notice her breathing not calming down, sometimes she is like this after a nightmare and you can only ever get her to breathe properly again doing one thing which you really don't want to do right now. You decide to give her a moment to try and calm down before you have to resort to that. 

You continue to hold her tight, whispering to her that she is okay over and over again. Rocking her back and forth, just anything else you can think of. Yet her breathing only seems to be getting worse. You pull away slightly, pulling her face in front of yours. You notice instantly that she isn’t here with you right now, your body goes into overdrive. Standing up and wrapping her legs around your waist, moving her quickly into the bathroom. You step into her shower and make sure you are holding her properly, if you falter your hold you will drop her from the way she is about to move. You flick on the shower and you’re instantly met with her arms flying out and her body tensing as the water falls over her. Natasha’s breathing gets even faster for a moment before she takes a massive deep breath and starts to slow down, her body sagging as she closes her eyes. It still takes her a few moments under the cold water until she fully controls her breathing and allows herself to fall even more into my arms and shivers from the cold.

You turn the shower off, being rewarded with a kiss to your neck as you get out and wrap a towel around her. Moving her back into her bedroom, grabbing her new clothes to wear. Natasha whines when you go to move her, but allows you to finally put her down onto her own feet. Your hand lands on her cheek, pressing a lingering kiss onto her forehead. 

“You should get changed, or you’ll just get more cold. And I should probably go…” You feel guilty saying that after everything that has just happened but you feel like staying will only give off the wrong impression. Natasha stays quiet as you turn to leave, you see her in the corner of your eye take off her t-shirt, being met with her bare back…

“Stay? Please?” Your breath hitches as you turn back to face her, her t-shirt still not covering her body. She leans down, taking her underwear off and then moving towards you. Natasha stands in front of you, your eyes trying their hardest not to stray from her face. Natasha’s hands move to the bottom of your wet t-shirt, slowly bringing it up and over your head and it meets hers on the floor. You try your hardest to ignore the twinge in your boxers, but it becomes difficult when her hands move lower and she slowly starts to pull them down off of you too. 

She stays standing in front of you, pushing her body to press against yours. Her hands reach for yours to wrap around her body. It’s been too long since you’ve felt her skin against yours. 

It feels like coming home. 

You hold her tight against you, your breathing matching hers as she stands on her tiptoes to press her face into your neck. 

You reach your hands lower, moving underneath her ass to pick her up, she wraps her legs around your waist perfectly and you choose to ignore the moan that releases from her mouth when her core touches your stomach. 

You move back into the bedroom, laying her down gently onto the bed and placing yourself between her legs. Your forehead rests against her own, taking in the warmth and feeling of her body all over again. It had been 6 months since you had both been intimate with one another. 6 months of not feeling her pressed against you. 

Natasha’s hand touches your cheek delicately, pulling you down slowly to meet her lips. 

You kiss her eagerly, like she is the only thing able to bring you back to life, and honestly that felt true. 

The kiss only intensified, lust filling both of you as Natasha wraps her legs around you and pulls you to be flat against her. Her hips grinding up into you, your member poking her entrance, you try your hardest to hold back a groan but she has so much power over you. 

“I need you y/n, I want you so badly…” Natasha mumbles against your lips, her grinding continuing to work you up even more. You want and need her too, in every way imaginable. 

You move your kisses down her body, leaving mark after mark as you make your way down her neck, breasts and stomach. 

You press soft kisses into Natashas inner thighs, her whining making fire spread throughout your body. Your first lick is gentle, soft, tender, but when her hands grip your hair as she grinds herself hard into your face, you already know there is no time for slow, teasing movements. 

Natasha mewls as you continue to eat her out, your hands falling from her waist to gather her slick at her entrance, your fingers teasing her as you suck hard on her clit. Natashas moans continue to spread around the room, louder and louder, your brain going fuzzy as her moans consume you. 

“Fu-ckkk, I’m-I’m cu-cuming!” Natasha shouts as her orgasm floods through her, her back arching off the bed while her thighs hold a tight grip around your head, your movements slowing down to help her through the high. 

When she finally falls back onto the bed, her thighs loosening, you slowly move away from her, pressing more kisses onto her inner thigh as you make your way back up her body. Her breathing is still erratic but it doesn’t stop her from pulling you down back into a feverish kiss, her tongue pressing into your mouth as she breathes harshly. ‘I love you’s’ falling into both of your mouths as she starts to grind her hips back up into you. 

Natasha pulls her legs from your sides, moving them in between your own as she pulls away from your kisses. A smirk lining her face as she leans forward to press a teasing kiss onto the corner of your mouth before she turns over onto her hands and knees. Her ass pressing back up into you, making a groan fall from your mouth. 

“Fuck Tasha, are you trying to kill me…” You manage to breathe out as you press your hard on against her, your eyes zoning in on her back as she arches perfectly into the bed. 

You don't give her time to react as you rub your cock against her, lubricating yourself up before you push in. Her breath hitches as you push yourself fully in, your hips meeting her ass. Her walls squeezing you tightly, making your own eyes fall shut, you might cum just like this. 

“Shhhittt! Fuck Y/n!” Natasha grunts as her body falls down, the only thing keeping her up being the tight grip you have on her hips. 

You start slowly, already feeling so overwhelmed just being inside her. Her walls are so tight, making it harder for you to even pull out, choosing to lower her and yourself so she is flat against the bed. Your body covering hers as you press your face into her neck, peppering kisses into it, lingering near her mouth as you continue to move your hips. 

Breathless moans continuously fall from Natashas lips, the sound turning you on even more, your hips finally speeding up, pulling louder moans as you pound your hips into her.

“FUCK! Shiiii- I love you, fuckkkk I love you so much!” Natasha moans into your mouth as she pulls your face against hers. Your hips somehow moving impossibly faster and harder, her words spurring you on. 

“Ughhhh, you're taking me so well, being such a good girl!” You pulled away from her lips, biting into her neck as you felt yourself getting so close to release, it only helps when Natasha keeps whimpering into your ear, her ass pushing back into you despite the difficult angle for her. 

“Babyyyy, I’m gonna, fuck I’m- UGHHH” Natasha screams as her body tenses, her walls sucking you in as she pulses around you. 

“Shit! Fucking hell!!!” You shout, your hips stuttering as you cum deep inside of Natasha. Your grinding continues as you help ride out both of your highs. You can see the sweat dripping down Natashas back, and you can feel the sweat dripping down your own. Natasha continues to clench around you, her body slowly untensing as you go to pull out of her. 

You flop yourself onto your back next to Nat, groaning as your back meets the bed. Natasha hums as she leans closer, pressing deep kisses onto your shoulder and over your chest as she goes to straddle your lap. 

You let her move over you, knowing her intentions just by the type of kisses she leaves on you. Her hand going down to grab you, jerking you up and down, getting you hard all over again as she lowers herself onto you. You gasp, feeling hot all over as you meet her warm sex. Natasha relaxes onto you, her chest meeting your own as her lips attach to yours. 

“I love you so much…I’m sorry for everything that happened…” She mumbles against your lips.

“I’m sorry too baby, fuck…I’m sorry too, never again, none of this is ever going to happen again. SHit, I love you so much!” You groan as she starts to roll her hips all over again, working you up just to stop. 

“Promise me, promise me that love is enough sometimes…” 

“I promise baby, I promise it is, but this time it’s going to be so much more than love, I promise!” You groan yet again as her hips start grinding deeper, her kisses getting more intense as you finish talking. 

“Good, now show me how much you mean it again…”

[sexlapis]

Ho! I loooooooveeee your actor toji fics! Is it possible to get added to the taglist? Thank you ~

Also an idea: a bts scene of reader getting sick on set(perhaps even collapsing) due to fatigue and toji taking care of them- I feel like that'd be such a hit ship moment irl :D

thank you for liking my fics <3 you can be added to the tag list 🩵.

and omg yeah i love that idea of reader overworking themselves and toji looking after them :’). and yeah i didn’t make it a behind the scenes clip i made a short fic abt it bc i do not know when to stop.. like give me an idea and i will fly away w it like a bird liek..i don’t even think this is what you asked for srsly…i hope you don’t mind (but i’ll add it to my tojiyn headcanons hehe)

cw: actor toji x actress reader, hurt/comfort, angst to fluff, swearing, petnames (‘kid’, ik people don’t like this one but i think it’s so sweet & so toji :)), collapsing, mentions of skipping meals/not eating, poor sleeping habits, feelings of loneliness & inadequacy, crying, toji taking care of reader, i made this way more angsty than you asked sorry :(

wc: 2k+

you dragged yourself through the doors of the studio, immediately bombarded by directors, stylists, scrip writers and other cast members on your way to the dressing room, only fuelling your fatigue and stress.

sleep was a foreign concept at this point. five hours at most. so were healthy, filling meals - the last time you ate was yesterday at noon, and for breakfast today all you had was a cup of coffee, not helping your nervous, exhausted state.

admittedly, you were not doing very well. you felt that your acting was subpar and you felt lonely and isolated on set. while everyone went with their friends for a break or lunch, you sat by yourself in your dressing room, your only company being the silence.

sure, toji was also on set too, but he played a very minor role, so he wasn’t always there. and even when he was sometimes, he would hang out with the other crew members, which wasn’t a problem of course, but it did sting a little when he chose them over you.

you just felt so lonely, anxious and quite frankly upset at yourself and the circumstances you find yourself in.

there are a few knocks at your dressing room door and you weakly tell them to come in.

toji peeks is head in. “hey, kid. we start in five..” he takes a look at your weary face, dark eye bags prominent even through the makeup the stylists caked on and the frown on your lips and just knows something is wrong.

“are you ‘right?” he asks quietly, like you’re a deer who’s about to run away at the slightest of sounds.

“yes, i’m fine.” you lie, a voice in the back of your mind wishing he’d just ignore you like everyone else on this damn set does.

“‘you sure? ‘cause you don’t look-”

“i said im fine! just get out.” you snap, heart beating and breathing heavily at your own outburst.

fuck. you didn’t mean to say that.

but toji doesn’t look offended. he just nods and walks away footsteps fading as you put your head in your hands and sob.

so there you are, acting in front of the camera with your colleague in a scene where toji appears in too and you just seem off. everyone assumes it’s just not your day today and they’re not exactly wrong. you lines were slightly forced, tired and you were jittery and clearly apprehensive, like you didn’t even want to be here.

“cut!” the director calls out, more than annoyed with your behaviour. it was the sixth take and you’re really trying to make it believable, but it’s futile.

“this is the sixth take _____. this is ridiculous. get your act together. let’s take five.”

you look down at your shoes, face hot and chest thudding with embarrassment due to the director calling you out in front of everybody. tears well up in your eyes and you sigh, blinking them away as everyone starts talking again, walking away leaving you standing there like an idiot.

it all becomes too much for you. your empty stomach, oncoming headache, exhausted body, dry mouth, furrowed eyebrows, sweaty palms-

you let your script fall out of your hand as you stumble off the green screen, trying to get to your room before a hand is grabbing your arm. you turn around and it’s toji again.

“hey..” he leans down slightly to your height, scanning you over once. “you don’t look so good, _____-”

you shrug him off, vision becoming blurred with black static and limbs heavy and shaky. “i-i jus’ need to go. to my..uhm-” you stop, rubbing a hand down your face harshly. “i just-”

and then there is black.

౨ৎ

you come to and realise that you are laying on your dressing room couch, staring up at the ceiling. reaching up, you feel a wet, cool cloth on your head. you take it off. still fuzzy and body essentially lethargic, you try to sit up.

“hey, hey, hey.” toji whispers.

oh, toji’s here.

“take it easy.” he helps you sit up on the arm of the couch. he hands you a bottle of water and you drink it like a god.

“wait, what happened?” you ask, still confused and disoriented.

“you fuckin’ fainted that’s what,” he states bluntly. “scared the fuckin’ dogshit outta me.”

“oh.”

toji sits beside you on a chair, looking at you closely. you look down.

“the med team checked you out.” he tells you. “said you fainted, collapsed-whatever the fuck. ‘cos of stress and exhaustion. they even checked your blood sugar and said it was low as fuck.” he pauses. “not dangerously low,” he adds at the sight of your worried expression, “but.. low enough.”

you sigh, falling back on the couch. you think back to how the director shouted at you, how annoyed he was, and how humiliated you felt. tears start to form again and you cover your face with your hands, not wanting to cry in front of toji. you felt like you’ve had enough embarrassment for today.

toji leans forward. “what’s happening with you?”

the way he said it, so soft and concerned, makes the tears fall down and cause sobs to escape your mouth, hiccuped breaths falling from your mouth.

“hey, hey, hey..” toji coos. he reaches to you and makes you sit up again so he can take you into his arms. you let him, sobbing into his shoulder and sucking up all the comfort he gives you. toji’s big hand strokes your hair and the other caresses your back softly.

“shh, sh, sh…” he calms you down a little, you sobs turning into sniffles. he leans back and gives you space but his hands stay planted on your back. “tell toji what’s wrong.”

you hum sadly, looking down and gulping. “i’m..i’m tired. i wanna sleep..”

toji waits for you to continue. he can see you want to say more so he doesn’t hurry you along, he just rubs your back and nods to let you know you’re listening.

“i..” you take a breath, “i dunno what to do..i can’t do this fucking role.. i’m fucking tired half the fucking day and my so called colleagues don’t even like me!” you try to calm yourself down, taking another shaky breath. “and i just feel..lonely all the time..” you cry out the last few words, feeling another sob session coming up and toji pulls you close, letting you ruin his shirt with your tears as he rocks you back and forth in his arms.

“it’s okay, it’s okay..” he coos, resting his face in your hair.

you both stay like that for a few moments, you weeps dying down before toji talks.

“you can play this part, _____. ‘you have any idea how good your are, huh? you can act circles around half ‘these guys.”

you scoff, pulling your lips together. “i dunno about that..”

“‘m serious. _____, you can act, okay? ‘wouldn’t have made it this far if you couldn’t.”

“yeah but..this one’s hard..” you sigh, voice cracking but toji doesn’t let you start again.

“yeah, acting’s hard. but i can help you,” toji cups your wet face with his hands, wiping the tear streaks that paint you face, “we can all help you. the crew, your friends, that bitchass director. i’ll put a gun to everyone’s head to make them fuckin’ help you with this.”

you giggle at his seriousness and he huffs, relieved that you’re relaxing a little.

“they don’t hate you, y’know. everybody on set. the cast. they just think you’re a little shy and quiet. they don’t hate you, okay?” toji reassures you. you nod absentmindedly and he shakes your head from side to side to make you pay attention, making you smile, eyes crinkling even though they’re still tear stricken. “there she is..who the fuck could hate you, huh?”

“ugh, toji.” you roll your eyes, sniffling and rubbing your face. you pull away from him. “ugh..i just want my bed right now.”

“yeah..i know it ain’t my place but told the director that you’re taking a few days off. you need a break, kid.”

you didn’t even argue with him. you couldn’t.

“yeah, i do.” you agree.

suddenly, a loud rumble from your stomach erupts, it was like an earthquake.

toji laughs. “someone’s hungry.”

you groan. “‘m starving. haven’t eaten since yesterday.”

“we’re getting you something to eat.” he states, leaving no room for objections.

toji stands, holding his hand out for you to take. you do, his large, calloused hand dwarfing yours as he helps you stand up. “can you walk?”

“i will if there’s food involved.”

“that’s good.” toji chuckles, “how’s takeout sound?”

a/n: had to write a whole fic abt this i apologise 🥸 will add the tag list later i just keep forgetting the users </3

[hazbinwhoree]

Hiya ! Let me tell you first that I love your writings about Adam ! Our angel deserves some attention

I couldn't help but notice that there is a lack of hurt/comfort Adam fics 😠

Sooo I've been thinking (read this with Charlie's voice from the pilot) what about an Adam x reader arranged marriage fic ?

Like Adam is given a new wife from Heaven, he treats her really badly at the beginning but then kinda develops a soft spot for her ? Ending with the fluffiest softest smut you can make ?

Do we have a deal ? 😈

I Wanna Be Yours

Adam supposed he should be grateful, he wasn’t alone anymore, but Lilith and Eve had fucked him up so badly that he wanted nothing to do with his third wife. If he got too close, he’d fall in love, and then she’d leave him. So Adam did the opposite of getting close. He got mean.

(Name) was born yesterday. Created by God to be Adam’s third companion. She was born with pertinent information already in her brain, memories, and free will. Free will, and she still wanted nothing more than to be Adam’s wife.

He was so lonely, but he’d never admit it.

At first, Adam was just cold to her. But when that didn’t deter (Name) from trying to get close to him, he grew mean.

“I don’t want you, bitch!”

“Leave me the fuck alone!”

“Piss off, I hate looking at you.”

It started wearing (Name) down. It hurt, he hurt her, constantly. She was growing to dislike him. She wished she could hate him, but she just couldn’t. It didn’t help that they lived together, though Adam had banished her to the guest room, not willing to share his king size bed.

One day, (Name) gave up. She decided she was done being verbally abused as she followed Adam around like a lovesick puppy. So that day, she didn’t follow Adam. She didn’t leave her house. In fact, she didn’t even leave her bed.

To Adam’s dismay, he was disappointed and slightly concerned when (Name) didn’t show up that day. She always followed him around. All day, every day. Adam hadn’t realized how comfortable he got with it.

When he came home that day, he peaked into her bedroom, finding her asleep. His brow furrowed, wondering why she hadn’t followed him today. Adam was going to ask, but (Name) didn’t wake up until morning.

By day four, after three days of cold silence from (Name), and her still not following him, Adam decided to go home early. He got home around noon to catch (Name) off guard, he was never home around noon.

He snuck into the house but didn’t see her anywhere downstairs. He climbed upstairs and peered into (Name)’s bedroom. Once again, that’s where he found her, still in bed.

“Okay, what the fuck,” he asked loudly, barging into her room.

(Name) jumped. When she registered Adam, she scowled. “Don’t scowl at me, bitch,” Adam spat. Something died in (Name)’s eyes and she just looked tired and sad. Adam softened.

“...Sorry.”

That got (Name)’s attention. Adam had never, ever said sorry to her before.

Adam came over and sat on the edge of the bed. “What’s wrong?” he asked. “What’s wrong? What’s wrong?” (Name) was appalled. “I’ll fucking tell you what’s wrong.” She sat up.

“I was created for the sole purpose of being your wife so that you would no longer be alone. That is my entire purpose, my whole identity. And you hate me. You’re literally all I have in life and you want nothing to do with me. You weren’t even just cold, you were mean. Nasty. I wish I hated you. But I still love you, and that fucking hurts.”

Adam was quiet for once in his life. He had never really thought about the consequences of his actions. He hadn’t seen (Name) so much as person as he did an annoyance that followed him around. Now here she was, a person. A being with thoughts and feelings. A being he’d been abusing.

He reached a gentle hand towards her and she recoiled. Adam winced. “I’m sorry,” he admitted. “I really am. I thought… if I got too close, you would leave me like Lilith and Eve did.” (Name) blinked at him. “I know that’s a shitty excuse,” Adam mumbled. “I wish I could tell you how sorry I am. I was a fucking coward, in trying to prevent myself from being lonely I made you lonely.” “You did more than that,” (Name) scoffed.

Adam looked ashamed. “Yeah… I’m so sorry. I want to start over. If… if you want that. I understand if you’re done with me, I definitely deserve it.”

(Name) contemplated for a moment. “We can start over,” (Name) said eventually. “But we start slow. I don’t like or trust you right now.”

Adam nodded eagerly. “That’s fair. (Name)?”

“Yeah?”

“Just start coming with me when I go about my day again.”

(Name) did, and over the next two weeks she would accompany Adam everywhere, not follow, because he kept his stride slow so that she could keep up. He talked to her, asked questions about her, got to know her. She quickly became a soft spot for him. It took a lot to not sabotage it out of fear, but Adam managed.

Two months in, and they’d kindled a relationship so well that they had sexual tension. They had yet to act on it, neither realizing that the other wanted it as much as them.

But this was the longest Adam had gone without sex in a long time, and with his high sex drive, it was incredibly difficult. It wasn’t much longer before he couldn’t contain himself anymore. He burst into her room randomly and announced, “I think I love you and I want to fuck you.”

(Name) put down her phone, wearing nothing but short shorts and a tank top, ready for bed. “I think I love you too, and I would very much like you to fuck me,” (Name) replied after a beat of silence.

Adam wasted no time, coming up to her bedside and picking her up bridal-style. “Adam, what–” “You’ve had your own room long enough. It’s time we share a bed. And what better way to consecrate it?” He smirked.

(Name) smiled, holding onto his neck. When they entered Adam’s room, he gently laid her down on his bed. He was going to take his time with this, he’d waited for so long he was going to savor every second.

He shed his mask, and (Name) gasped. She’d never seen him without his mask before. Adam looked slightly unsure of himself. “Kiss me,” (Name) breathed. Adam stood between her legs and bent over the bed to press his lips to hers sweetly. She ran her fingers through his hair.

“You’re so pretty,” she whispered when he pulled back. Adam wanted to make a cocky comment, but decided against it for the sake of the moment. He pulled his shirt off, then undid his belt, kicking off his pants. Then he gently pulled (Name)’s tank top over her head, thrilled to finally see her bare rack.

But before he went for her chest, he pulled her shorts down and off. When they were both in their underwear, Adam picked (Name) up and threw her further on the bed. Then he climbed onto the bed and on top of her.

He connected their lips while his hands groped her chest. His tongue invaded her mouth and (Name) moaned. Adam kissed down her neck, her chest, until her reached her left tit, and latched on with his mouth. (Name) gasped as he sucked on her nipple, his hand reaching to roll her other nipple between his forefinger and thumb. (Name)’s fingers tangled in Adam’s hair.

He pulled off with a wet pop and moved to the other breast, taking it into his mouth as well. (Name) hummed sounds of affirmation as Adam gave her chest attention, sighing when he pulled back. Adam’s hand slid down her stomach and inbetween her legs and (Name) bit her lip. When Adam’s hand slipped under her panties and his fingers brushed against (Name)’s wet folds, she moaned. “You’re so wet,” Adam said lowly in her ear. “All for me.”

He entered two fingers inside of her, curling them. (Name)’s back arched a little bit. Adam added a third rather quickly, realizing briefly that her body had been made to fit with his perfectly. The thought almost made Adam sentimental.

Because of this fact he didn’t spend long fingering her. He was impatient, and he didn’t have to. She was already ready for him. He pulled her panties down and off before kneeling back to tug his boxers down. He shed those too and pressed their naked bodies together.

“I love you,” he said quietly, kissing her lips. “I’ll forever be sorry for how I was before. Let me make it up to you~”

(Name) whimpered when she felt his dick pressing at her entrance. Adam grabbed both of her hands in his, pinning them next to her head and intertwining their fingers. “Are you ready?” he asked, not sure how much longer he could wait.

(Name) nodded vigorously. Adam gently pushed his hips forward, slowly sinking into her heat. He groaned, his self-restraint waning. He bottomed out with a heavy sigh. “I love you,” he repeated. “Fuck. You're so tight.”

(Name) couldn’t reply, adjusting to Adam’s size. Once she did, she moved her hips a little bit. “Move,” she begged. Adam didn’t need to be asked twice. He slowly began to roll his hips, thrusting in and out slowly and sensually. It felt good, but it wasn’t enough, so it didn’t last long.

Adam’s hips picked up in pace and intensity. (Name) moaned everytime he drove into her. It was Adam’s new favorite sound. They were in missionary, Adam’s favorite position because he could stare at (Name) while they made love. He could drink in every little expression of pleasure on her pretty face.

(Name) squeezed the life out of Adam’s hands. Adam leaned down to suck love marks onto (Name)’s neck. (Name) threw her head back, giving him easier access while he marked her as his.

When he pulled back, he let go of one of (Name)’s hands, sneaking his now free hand down between them to rub circles around her clit with a slender finger. He relished in the look of pleasure (Name) made, jaw dropping and eyes rolling back. His hips didn’t lose their steady pace until (Name) moaned, “Faster!”

Adam began slamming into her, and with (Name)’s free hand, she clawed at his back. Every thrust hit deep and Adam timed pressure on her clit with every thrust. “Adam,” (Name) gasped. “I’m– nngh~ I’m close.”

“Fuck, me too,” Adam panted. He kept his pace steady, both of their orgasms steadily growing. (Name)’s moans became higher pitched. Adam’s groans grew more frequent.

Eventually, they were on the precipice together, calling out one another’s names as they climaxed. Adam came buried deep inside of her, and (Name) came on his dick. They froze for a moment afterwards, each trying to catch their breath. As they panted, coming down, Adam dropped his forehead against (Name)’s, staring deeply into her eyes. Watching her orgasm had made his euphoric. He kissed her softly, in contrast to the pace they’d just been going at.

“I love you,” (Name) said quietly.

Adam pulled out, collapsing on the bed next to her. “I love you too, (Name).”

[delusionalmultilingual]

Title cover by me, please ask for permission to use. Not the panel but the editing :)

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Todoroki's sick?

This is just a drabble for the moment but if I post this hooray you get to see what sort of lovesick lonely relationship I want.

ITS A COMPLETE SLOWBURN PLEASE DONT HATE ME

Contains: Vomit, Illness, Spoilers.

Todoroki gets sick? Thank god your there to help him you pitiful bastard.

Your in your last year of U.A, just after your exams he gets sick. Where did Shouto go?

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"Todoroki Shouto." The same monotone voice came from your tired teacher, had his eyebags dropped even more? His eyes had surely gotten more red. He looks stoned, you wish you could be too.

Zoning out for a second too long you feel a glare from your teacher who had probably said your name mote than three times by now, flicking his scarf to slide right past your ear, a whooshing sound which jolted you out of your zoned out state.

It was the same silence, the same silence that had gone on for the past three days. Time doesn't normally matter to you, the world moves either to quick or too slow so you do your own thing.

"Focus or I'll make you run laps."

You flinch and look directly at your teacher who had moved towards your desk, black eyes slowly emitting the gloomy red that scared you sometimes. Sitting up straighter then you had ever sat you gave him a small smile before nodding a small apology. Thank god he was tired or he might have probably killed you by now.

"Ah, [Your Name]. Is there something bothering you?" Uraraka asked beside you quietly as you all began writing. To which you turned to see her eyes locked with yours.

You respond with a quick 'hm' shaking your head trying not to worry your friend, shifting your focus back to your writing as you tried not to think about specific things.

'I wonder where Todoroki is...'

'Is he with his dad? Maybe his mum...'

You shake your head and pinch your arm to refocus feeling a hint of heat on the tips of your ears. Your eyes staring intensely at the word 'mixture'.

'Fuck, that's also like him.'

Rubbing your temples now, and running a hand behind the back of your neck and pressing down on the sore spot that had grown increasingly through the pressure of homework and assignments, Hero work too.

A low muttering came from Midoryia, he was back to his usual ways even while Mr Aizawa spoke in his colourless voice. And Ashido and Kaminari were whispering to each other trying to get some form of idea as to what to write.

If you were completely honest you didn't know what to write either, the work was something about Physical and Quirk development, which was a pain when you had learned majority of it in middle school.

Yet you didn't know what to write, even if you knew about what you were learning, you still didn't know what to write. Maybe it was the three assignments that you turned in earlier today, maybe you were just burnt out.

Aizawa's words were now muffled through your thoughts as you doodled over your pages of lined, neat work. They weren't the best but they were cute enough to stay in your book.

"But sir this is too difficult!" Mina and Denki whined in unison, snapping you out of your stage of drawing and listening into the bickering, Bakugou yelling at them from across the room.

"Shuddap. If you werent so stupid maybe you would understand!"

Aizawa sighed yet again, sleep deprived probably, maybe an insomniac. "Bakugou, get back to your own work."

After a miniature altercation between Aizawa and Bakugou, it ended with Bakugou going quiet and grumbling as he continued working and Aizawa scolding Mina and Denki.

Uraraka was giggling beside you, covering her smirk and lowering her head further than what it usually is and trying to compose herself. Her brown hair was definitely longer than what it was in your first year, down to her shoulders now.

She complained that it was getting too long and that she needed to cut it but she didn't have the money, so when Momo offered to pay she declined and said that her hair was fine the way it was.

Even if she was your friend she's a little too anxious about money, even if it was ten dollars. You knew it was because of her background but she's going to be paid a shit ton in the future, if she continued with her path of being a pro.

You ponder on the small parts that you were thinking of before. 'Three days.', was the main thought as you were distracted yet again, which ended with the sake old lecture about listening and paying attention by Aizawa.

***

"[Your Name!" Tsuyu and Mina ran after you, the entire of U.A walking the same paths as the rest of the years. It was your last year, last year of all of this. It sparks an anxious pain in your chest but at the same time motivation.

You turn to face your two friends and Mina practically jumps into your arms and nearly takes the both of you to the floor. And now your winded as Tsu drags Mina off you.

"Are you going to come to dinner tonight?" Tsu asks, her croaky voice comes from her, shorter than Mina and you but thankfully taller than that purple balled idiot. He hurt your neck often when he gave you creepy smiles and all his perverted stuff.

A shrug comes from your shoulders which ends with a pampering Mina begging you not to stay cooped up in your room for the rest of winter holidays. A short answer came from your lips and Tsu's tongue was sticking out as she smiled warmly.

"Probably not, I gotta get this resume in."

Tsu nodded and pulled at Mina's shirt and trying to usher her away as to not hold you back any longer. She might not have spoke many words but she's very expressive through her emotions.

Eventually she was picked off bit by bit, and the dormitory was around a minute away walking. You were tired, but now having to write up a resume that you were planning on doing a week earlier, didn't happen. The procrastination got to you before you even started.

So you began walking, thinking about how to start on your resume even though it was simple, obviously you had to start with your full name, address... 'Would it be the dorm number or just U.A?' The thought ran through your mind before getting thrown into the many other thoughts.

You gave a small wave to Sato who was watering some of the flowers that the class planted earlier this year. He waved back only a few seconds after you, and by then you were already at the steep of the stairs. Pushing the doors open to the smell of Bakugou's food.

Ignoring the smell you looked at the elevator before taking the stairs, you were only on the first floor anyway. It was a flight of stairs, the least you could do is not be lazy.

When you unlocked your door, the small 'rodent' so you claim it to be meowed and purred against your leg.

"Hey Asana, what'cha doing pretty?" You ran a hand along the curled soft hair of your cat, you weren't really supposed to have pets in the dorms but they didn't have to know about him.

Sure, Asana was a male cat with a girl's name, but he didn't know that. He can't understand English, sometimes that makes you suspicious of him. So you shut the door behind you, picking him up and smooching his head three times before he places a paw to your nose.

"You stink."

Asana responded with a long meow, of course. He wanted food, you place him on the ground and sort him out. Flopping onto your bed with a groan of relief when the softness of the cushion collides with your back.

In less than a second, the little rodent you loved so much had jumped on you and was making biscuits on your chest, putting all his weight on his front paws, making you wheeze in pain, how could a cat be so heavy?

He purred loudly and soon after fell asleep on you, which left you scrolling on your phone and typing up this resume that you definitely needed to do before you left school. And of course it would probably take three seconds to finish, but you had sooooo many other things to do. One of them was steal Bakugou's recipe cause damn his cooking is amazing, he would mind so you would have to do it in secret.

Did he even have a recipe to follow? It would surprise you if you didn't, maybe Sato could help. Bakugou never seemed to mind him helping with cooking, he'd prefer him cleaning or doing something else. But only a grumble would be his response.

Thinking over your plan you knew it wouldn't help, you were already on social media and Mina had posted a class photo, Sato was there as well. Damn, he probably ran so he wasn't late.

It was already dark, maybe you could order in. You didn't have much energy to cook anyway, Bakugou definitely wouldn't waste his precious time cooking for you anyway, you were 'a pain in the ass'.

'Ah, I forgot about Todoroki.'

The thought that crossed through your mind from earlier today had reached you again, Midoryia said that he wasn't out with family. Iida said that he had probably become ill, with his continuous efforts at school.

"Asana, should I message him?" You ask your cat, he wasn't going to respond. Either a meow or his ears twitching would be the response.

He was dead asleep. On your chest, curled ears twitching when you sighed deeply and looked at the name on your screen, 'Shouto'. He had a small emoji next to his name, thanks to your creativity of putting what their quirks were as emoji's.

After a long groan and thinking you fumble around messaging him quickly.

'Hey Todoroki, I was wondering how you are doing since you haven't been at school.'

Sent.

Fuck.

Squeezing Asana'a pretty white fur he responded back with a low purr. Three minutes go by, feels like forever and the embarrassment of messaging someone you don't usually message. Ah, this is shit.

Your phone lights up, the notification carxges your eye.

Shouto 🧊🔥

'I'm unwell.'

Dry text. As usual, it didn't bother you as much as it used to, he's gotten better since first year.

'Would you like me to get you something?'

You message back immediately, the heat rushing to your face.

Shouto🧊🔥

'Porridge and Orange juice?'

Was all he replied before you sat up, Asana jumping off and getting comfy on your bed, maybe you should change. Sweats and a singlet? Yep.

Grey pants and a black singlet was what you wore, bringing up a hot bowl of porridge and a carton of Orange juice that was in the fridge, wasn't yours but you'll buy another one for whoever complains.

He was on the fifth floor, wasn't a preference, you would complain if you had to go up five floors.

You reach his room that was labelled with his name, Todoroki. And you knock on the door, it was dead quiet. Usually you would be able to hear Jiro playing her instruments but she was gone as well.

The door clicks open and you see Todoroki, taller than you. His hair a mess and both of his hair colours mixing with eachother, he has showered. But he looks like a mess.

"Can I come in?"

You ask quietly and he covers his cough with his elbow, nodding and turning around so you can go inside his dorm. Very traditional, you saw it a few times while studying with Sero. He cleans regularly, but it's gotten messy since he's been sick.

There was a bucket next to his bed, has he been really sick? Maybe Gastro.

"Sit back down I don't wanna make you run around or something." You usher him back to his futon, you have the kindest expression on and aren't trying to push him around too much.

The room has a hint of sickness in it too, maybe you would get sick too. Oh well.

He sits down with his legs crossed and looks up at you, his face puffy and his hair still a mess, he looks like his gaze is a blur and you gently give him the porridge.

"Have you been eating?"

This is awkward, first you had to message him and now your stuck in his room, with him when he is sick. Your eyes wander and he eats the porridge slowly, blowing on the spoon a few times and switching off his phone. He nods to your question, responding back in a sick and croaked speech.

"Mhm, not much."

Your breath tightened, his voice was usually deepish and monotone but when he's sick. Jesus, gonna take the life outta you.

In less than a second that all changes when he leaps towards the plastic bucket beside his futon and gags profusely, throwing up the porridge he had eaten mere seconds earlier, his stomach trying to throw up on an empty stomach now.

You quickly make your way towards him and kneel down beside him, he puts a hand out to stop you but you move his hair out of the way. It had gotten longer throughout the years but your pretty sure he's been missing his hair appointments.

"Come on Todoroki! Why didn't you let us know." Grumbling beside his ear, he wipes his mouth before sitting back up again, washing his mouth out with the cup of water beside the bucket and spitting it into the bucket.

He goes to stand up, but you keep him sat down, giving him the carton of orange juice that you had brought earlier, were you holding that while keeping his hair out of the way?

"What are you doing?" He asks in the same groggy probably drugged up voice while watching you pick up the vomit filled bucket and taking it to the toilet in his room.

You look back at him, pushing the toilet seat up and pouring the foul substance into the toilet. Flushing it before closing the lid. "You need to rest. Your not getting up unless I'm gone."

Strong tone and using the shower head in the bathroom to rinse the bucket, you turn your head to see if he agrees.

"It's only a stomach bug."

"A stomach bug that makes you look like your about to die."

"Every illness makes you look like that."

"Your not getting up unless you need to go to the toilet. Your quirk is going to drain your energy so don't use that either."

He sighs, not wanting to argue and knowing you were kind of right, he hated to admit it but he actually liked that you cared for him like that. He had gotten used to looking out for himself but when his friends and classmates helped him he realised he also had to look out for others.

"Fine."

He couldn't help it however. He wasn't that sick, right?

You sit down beside him on his futon and look at the half eaten bowl of porridge, he was drinking the juice in hand and staring at you with those oh so beautiful eyes. But it's when he leans over and rests his head on your shoulder that makes you freeze.

"Thanks."

Was all he spoke before closing his eyes and breathing in your scent, you were confused as to why he had done so. Maybe he liked you? Is he clingy when he's sick?

You chuckle and pat his back, he was already relaxed into you but your physical touch made him melt, his body weight becoming evident on your body. So you use majority of your strength to keep sitting up, while adjusting to his weight.

His eyes were closed against you and his breathing became quieter and quieter until you almost could mistake him for being dead. It was soon you realised you were both breathing at the same pace. Did that always happen when two were so close?

Spotting a damp rag on the floor, you pick it up to feel if it is still cold, it wasn't. You couldn't move yet because he was practically attached to you. Jolting when you moved even an inch, so now you were laying down beside him on the single futon. His head against your arm and his arm along your waist.

This wasn't like him, for sure. Was he mistaking you for someone else? Your hoping he's not, cause whoever he would be thinking about like this. Wasn't you.

"It's cold." He speaks quietly, it's only then that you realise the chill in the air. It was already night? But the sun was up, you checked your phone that was sat in your pocket. Your eyes widen at the time. Two hours?!

Two hours had gone by and you could have finished this resume. You couldn't have wished for anything better, or worse? Todoroki Shouto was asleep on you, but you needed to finish this resume.

"Todoroki-"

"Shouto."

"Uh- Alright then. Shouto, I have to get this resume done."

He grumbled and geld onto you tighter, looking up at you, oh lord, he was adorable. Looking up at you with his opposite coloured eyes and pouting ever so slightly.

"Just do it in here."

"Ok then."

Why would you want to argue with him like that? You felt a sense of pity because he was sick, but also because he actually wanted you to stay with him? Your living a dream that you so desperately don't want to end. Maybe if he was well this would send you head over heels.

***

"Hey Todoroki! Where's [Your Name]?" Mina asks with her usual bubbly attitude, staring up at the taller boy with her 'raccoon eyes' as others have said.

Todoroki looks up from the book he was writing in, locking eyes with Mina, Asui was standing next to her with her frog-like tongue sticking out as he responded, scratching the side of his neck.

"She's not feeling well."

"What?!" Mina exclaims, her hands coming to the top of her pink curls quickly as she looked shocked. "She didn't even go anywhere! How did she get sick?"

"She came to visit me when I was sick." He replied back in a monotone speech and got back to writing whatever was on the board. Not knowing how excited Mina looked when she turned to Asui and giggled running off.

'Did I say something wrong?'

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This story is officially FINSIHED! I know I definitely lost some sort of motivation towards the end, I hate slowburns but I do say so myself. This is alright.

Proofread!

Thank you for all the support I have been getting! d=(^o^)=b

[ghost-1-y]

Nightmare

Incubus!Gojo x AFAB!Reader

Content Warnings: MDNI, dark content, dubcon, stalking, yandere themes, infidelity/cheating, manipulation, possessiveness, sexual content, penetrative sex, oral sex (f! receiving), aphrodisiac, blood sucking, using horns as handles, symptoms of sleep paralysis, feelings of insecurity (reader), mentions of voyeurism (gojo), dacryphilia, degradation, corruption k!nk, gojo feeds off of reader's life force, mentions of potential exhibitionism (reader’s husband might hear them going at it), breeding k!nk, mentions of impregnation, creamp!e, no aftercare, reader's husband is nanami-coded, please let me know if I missed anything!!

Summary: It’s been weeks since your husband had touched you in the way that you wished, and you’ve started to grow tired of his constant flirting with other women at work. Completely fed up with both him and the never-ending dry spell you’ve been going through, you retire to the guest room’s bed to fall asleep without your husband, unaware of a shadow that’s been lurking in your home each night, waiting for the right moment to prey on its new victim.

Word Count: ~3.6k

Divider Credit: @/benkeibear

A/N: Sorry this is an hour late!! I had a super busy week and didn't get to edit/revise at all until today, but I hope it's worth the wait!

Y/N’s POV

You were tired.

Not in the normal sense – you didn’t feel a need to sleep. On the contrary, you found it quite challenging to do so recently due to the never-ending thoughts of your unhappy marriage, as you wondered how exactly it reached this point in the first place. At first, your marriage was beautiful – you were in love, and everything in life was tinted in rose. Your husband treated you as his one and only, his everything, his soulmate.

When are you having kids?

You two look so cute together. 

I wish my marriage was as happy as yours!

Your friends and family would always compliment you and ask you for the latest details of what you and your husband were up to. You were soaring, so happy that you found someone to share your life with. 

But then, he started working overtime at his job, started taking on more shifts, and you’d go to sleep on an empty bed and wake up to his side being cold the next morning – nothing indicating that he was there other than the disheveled sheets that he didn’t bother to fix before heading out again. Your mornings were lonely, and your nights were quiet. You started making dinner for one, rather than wasting food on a meal that wouldn’t be eaten. You tried to be understanding of your husband’s absence, knowing that his job required a lot of him, so you never told him how much it bothered you, thinking it would only add more to his never-ending pile of worries.

It truly felt as though a ghost lived in your home, only ever seeing remnants of life from the half-empty coffee mug or the folded-up newspaper that was left discarded on the dining table. The fridge would be left ajar and the front door unlocked as though he was in such a rush to get to work that he couldn’t be bothered about simple things – relegating those tasks to you, his good little housewife.

Sometimes, whenever a door closed on its own, or you thought you saw something out of the corner of your eye, you’d jokingly call out to your husband in the emptiness of your house. Of course, you’d get no response, and you’d almost laugh at your antics if it weren’t for how your life was slowly turning gray – the rose tint slowly fading the longer you were alone.

However, one night, in your darkened bedroom, you heard a car drive up to your house. You slowly got out of bed, clinging to your sleep robes as you walked towards the window, and you saw your husband get out of the car. Warmth filled your veins as you gazed down at your husband for what seemed to be the first time in weeks, happy that you’d be able to welcome him back home. However, that warming comfort quickly dissipated as the driver also exited the car – a woman, presumably a coworker you hadn’t met – and walked over to him. As you peeked through the blinds, you saw your husband meet the woman halfway, the headlights of the car illuminating the two figures, and his hands sought her face as he kissed her.

Surprisingly, you didn’t feel your heart shatter as one might think – you had your suspicions already that he was seeing someone else, and this only confirmed your thoughts as you closed the blinds and left your shared bedroom, deciding to retire to the one meant for guests who stayed over.

Maybe that’s all I am at this point, you thought as the front door opened, only wishing to sink into the mattress and cover yourself in its sheets as you closed the guest room door behind you and removed your robe. The mattress was stiff and unused, and you stared up at the ceiling as you heard your husband’s heavy footsteps padding their way up to his room, as you became more and more of a stranger in your own home.

You tossed and turned as you walked the line between sleep and wakefulness, your thoughts racing just a bit too much to allow you to seek the comfort of dreams that you knew would never come true, or to notice the slightest creak coming from your bedroom door.

What seemed to be a hand ghosted over your hip, fingers dragging along your sides as you slowly became aware of the strange feeling grazing over your body. You squirmed, thinking it was some strange breeze that came in from the window – before you noticed the heavy weight that was pressing into your chest, rendering you nearly immobile.

“Such a waste to not take care of a pretty thing like you…” a voice drawled, and you opened your eyes – fearing that someone had trespassed into your home, only to find nothing out of the ordinary inside your little guest room. You sighed, thinking that you must’ve been hallucinating – sleep paralysis was a possible explanation, after all.

The voice, however, returned, chuckling in response to your eyes frantically searching for the source. “Oh, sweetie, your eyes can’t see me!” it exclaimed, as though it were obvious, “but I can see you, pretty, I’ve seen all of you.”

Gojo’s POV

You were sweet.

Like candy – if he were able to taste it, anyway. You had an aura about you that lit up any room you were in, one that he’d gaze upon from afar in the shadowy corners of your house, something he couldn’t touch, lest he burn from the light that was your smile. 

He loved watching you – seeing you get dressed (he loved the curves of your body), how you’d cook and clean and make everything look so pretty for a husband who didn’t appreciate it…

He especially loved watching you from one of the shadows of your bedroom as your husband fucked you – his cock throbbing as he watched you being used like the cute little cumdumpster you are, always wondering how tight your cunt would feel wrapped around his cock instead.

He would observe each and every single action because it was you who performed them.

And you looked delicious.

But he couldn’t feast upon you – not yet, at least. Your light was still too radiant, it shined upon everyone and everything and was nearly all-consuming.

So he left – just for a little while, of course. He’d be back for you, you just needed to give him some time.

He interrupted the dreams of one of your husband’s coworkers, filling her mind with lewd images and thoughts of railing your husband to the point where she just couldn’t bear it. So, eventually, she approached him at work – and he initially denied her advances, acting like the good husband he should be – but that just wouldn’t do for the plan Satoru had in mind. 

So he did the same with your husband, and provided him with dreams of fucking that same coworker, how wet and tight and good it would feel to have his filthy cock inside someone else’s pussy. Satoru knew it would hurt you, but it wasn’t completely his fault – you see, it was your husband’s choice to act on his desires, and his coworker’s choice to reciprocate despite knowing he was a married man.

And so your husband started coming home late, but not from work like you’d thought, no. He was arriving home after laying in the bed of another, engaging in an illicit affair that he excused as simply working overtime at the office. You initially believed your husband, but eventually, you developed your suspicions, and your light dulled – which pleased Satoru – because he could get closer to you. He would sometimes even try to alert you to his presence, but that never went according to plan – you’d always call out your husband’s name in response. You were loyal, and that annoyed him to no end because he already decided that you were his. 

He just had to be patient.

Until tonight – he had been watching you from the corner of your room. You couldn’t see him, of course, he was nothing more than a shadow to you. But that fated car had shown up, and as you peeked out the window, the last bits of your light finally blinked out like a dying star, and Satoru damn near rejoiced.

He soon followed you to the guest room, smirking to himself as he opened the door to see you tossing and turning, restless and alone – just how he wanted you.

Because you were his – to claim, to ruin, to feast upon.

“Such a waste to not take care of a pretty thing like you…”

Y/N’s POV

“Who are you?” you asked the darkness, eyes still darting about as you covered your top half with blankets as though that’d protect you from whoever– whatever this was.

“Hmm? Don’t tell me you don’t recognize me! Although I guess I can’t blame you – our bond isn’t quite strong enough for you to see the real me…” he considered, “you’ve called out to me many times before though, sweetie, even if it was by the wrong name – which was annoying, to say the least.” 

If you could see this…thing, you would’ve been able to discern the very obvious pout on its features. But, as its words sunk into you, a chill ran up your spine and every artery, vein, and capillary became doused in fear – realizing that this entire time you’d been joking to yourself about a ghost living in your home, it had been true. 

“My name is Satoru Gojo, sweets, so next time you call out – please use that name instead of the one owned by that disgraceful husband of yours,” the voice insisted, tracing its fingers along your side – a movement nearly invisible if it weren’t for the fabric that moved ever so slightly in response to his hand. 

“How– how do you know about my husband?” you asked, and he laughed.

“Oh, sweetie, you should realize that I know everything about you by now! I know how you take your coffee, how you perform chores around the house,” his voice dropped to a whisper, breathing directly into your ear, “how that husband of yours is unable to fuck you the way you want.”

You shuddered, unable to deny the slightest spark of arousal that nestled deep within your gut, but it did little to quell your fears of this…thing. You didn’t want to admit that he was right about your husband – not even to yourself – but the way he held that woman…

“Oh c’mon, relax. I can smell your fear, y’know – but I’m not gonna kill you!” Not yet. “I want to help.” The lies dripped like honey off of his tongue, sickly sweet as you drank them in. “Close your eyes for me, will ya? I promise I won’t bite,” he smirked.

Hesitantly, you obeyed and closed your eyes, and you felt the softest, sinful touch of his lips against yours – it was dizzying how they caressed you before he slowly entered his tongue into your mouth, causing a burning feeling to slip down your throat – as sharp as alcohol and as saccharine as sugar. Your mind relaxed, with the blood in your veins heating up before that warmth sunk down into your stomach and then lower. Your fear had been eradicated by lust, and as you finally opened your eyes, the being in front of you was one you’d never seen before – a tall, white-haired male, with eyes that deceivingly matched the heavens, who was adorned with wings and horns colored in a dark charcoal. 

“Now you see me, don’t ya, pretty?” he smirked, “I’m gonna take such good care of you – you’ll let me, won’t ya?”

You nodded without hesitation, only desiring more of the euphoric feeling that he seemed so keen on providing you with. 

“Need your words, baby, or else I can’t do anything,” he growled softly, and you squirmed underneath his weight as you forced your mouth open.

“Please,” you begged.

“Please what?”

“Please– please fuck me!”

You felt a sudden rush of cold as the bedsheets flew off of your body, leaving you stark naked on the mattress below you. Still, the cold was quickly replaced by the scorching hot yet featherlight touches of his hands tracing along your body – moving along your sides and then up towards your breasts, which he fondled before kissing you again with those syrupy lips, allowing more of that warmth to spread down your throat and into your skin. The weight on your chest was unrelenting yet pleasant as his tongue slipped into your mouth once again.

His hands toyed with your nipples, pinching and rolling them in between his fingers, pulling a gasp from you as he parted from your mouth in favor of sucking on your neck, licking a long stripe up toward your jaw before biting down just enough to draw blood with his fangs – he needed to feed off your life force somehow – you moaned as a heat spread from where he bit you all throughout your neck and shoulder, a pleasurable feeling which allowed him to drink in more of you before moving on to your tits, sinking his teeth into your nipples as well as he drinks freely from you, lapping up the blood with the flat of his tongue. You cradled his head as he sucked at your breast, encouraging him to keep going as a breathy moan escaped you – because it never felt this good before when your husband would do it. 

“Mmh, yeah? You like it when I play with your tits like this, baby?” he asked, voice muffled against your soft skin. You whined, eyes closed as you arched your back, the euphoric flow of pleasure coursing through you. He could tell you were slowly becoming obsessed with the way he was treating you – he just needed to wait a little bit longer.

“Fuck, so good– never…never felt this good before,” you moaned, and Satoru smirked as he sucked just a little bit more on your tits before traveling down towards your needy cunt.

“That so? Your husband doesn’t know how to fuck you, does he?”

You shook your head, unable to voice an answer as his breath fanned across your sopping pussy. 

“It’s okay, pretty, don’t worry – I’m here now.” 

He delved a single finger into your glistening cunt, gathering up your slick and bringing it up to his mouth to taste you. He groaned as he gathered more of it, forcing his fingers into your mouth, and your tongue immediately lapped at them like a puppy with its owner.

“You taste so good, pretty. So fuckin’ wet for me – such a good slut,” he smirked. He removed his fingers from your mouth before going back down and licking a fat stripe up your cunt, causing your legs to jolt at the touch. He snickered, “bet your husband didn’t know how to please you, bet he never even went down on you, the sick bastard.” You whined in response, causing him to chuckle. 

“Thought so.”

He buried his face into your messy cunt, his nose nudging against your swollen clit as he delved his tongue inside of your hole, licking up all of your juices into his awaiting mouth. You moaned, bucking your hips up into his face before he pinned them down, eating you out like you’re his favorite meal and he’s a man starved. It’s messy as he groaned into your heat, working his jaw as he savored your sweetness. He moved his mouth slightly up to your clit, pursing his lips around it and sucking hard as he probed two fingers into your needy hole, curling them inside of your sloppy heat. Your hands clasped around his horns and you arched your back, trying to push him deeper between your legs, obsessed with the way his fingers and tongue felt while pleasing you.

He pulled moan after moan out of your pretty little mouth, and he laughed to himself as his plan was going oh so well – to make you drunk on the pleasure he gave you until you became fully addicted and obsessed with him, becoming his little cock slut that he can breed and fill with his cum whenever he wanted.

Eventually, the tension building up in your lower abdomen snapped, and a sense of euphoria rushed through you, causing your legs to shake and clench around his head. He groaned, drinking up all of the juices that flowed out of you. Satoru looked up at you as he fed upon your cunt, and grinned as he watched your soul slowly but surely fade through his eyes. 

“I was right to choose you,” he groaned before slurping up the rest of your juices, overstimulating you as your grip on his horns tightened, pleading with him to let up on his ministrations. 

“Feeding me so well, pretty.” He nipped at your inner thigh once before sitting up and grabbing his cock, giving it a few strokes before lining it up with your sopping hole. He rubbed the bulbous head along your pussy, “tell me, how much do you want this cock, baby? You wanna get fucked by a demon like me?” 

You nodded, and if you were any less delirious you might have questioned what he meant by ‘demon’, but you were too far gone to care, simply nodding and begging “please” over and over again.

He slowly pushed his cock into you, grunting with how tight you were wrapping around him. “Shit, pretty–” he sighed, sinking into you until his balls were flush against your ass. He grabbed your legs and pulled them up so your ankles reached over his shoulders before slowly pulling out and plunging back in. His grip tightened on the flesh of your thighs as he started moving faster, his balls slapping against your ass with the force of his thrusts. Your mouth parted and tears fell down your cheeks, only being able to take what he gave you as his dick filled you up to the brim while pounding into your sopping cunt.

“You cryin’, baby?” he chuckled, and you could only whine in response.

“Good.”

He soon flipped you over and got you on all fours, slamming his cock back into you. You wailed as he kept forcing his fat cock into your greedy little cunt – the intensity only building upon itself as you felt your orgasm approaching once more. 

“‘M close…’m close,” you babbled, encouraging him to fuck you harder. Satoru reached around to rub your clit, and you gasped as you fell apart once more, gushing around his cock. Your legs trembled and you fell forward, unable to hold up your weight any longer as pleasure coursed through your veins. Satoru took this opportunity to trap you under him, with his torso flush against your back as he continued fucking into your tight pussy, not caring for how overstimulated you were becoming. 

“Fuck pretty, you love this dick, huh? Cumming all over me like that,” he grinned, his dick throbbing as he continued pounding into you. You nodded in response, but that wasn’t enough for him, so he gripped your chin and forced you to look up at him. “Uh-uh, tell me how much you love this cock, baby.” 

“Uh– fuck! Love– love it! Hah– need…need more–!” you babbled, tears flowing down your cheeks. He placed his hand around your mouth, and your moans became muffled as he dragged his cock inside your messy cunt.

“Shh, pretty, don’t want your husband to hear you getting fucked, right?” he grinned devilishly, “though, I wouldn’t be surprised if he’s already heard us – he’s probably stroking his dick to your sweet sounds, the cuck.”

You whined, oddly enjoying the idea that your shitty husband might be able to hear you – you took pride in the fact that he might know that you’re getting fucked better than he ever did with you. You started fucking yourself back onto Satoru’s cock, and he grinned widely – satisfied with how he’s turned you into his little cock slut. 

“Shit, baby– ‘m not gonna last much longer,” he admitted, his thrusts progressively getting sloppier and sloppier as he rutted his cock into you.

“Hah– you want me to cum inside you, baby? Want to get filled with my cum? I’ll fucking get you pregnant, breed you with my seed and turn you into my cumslut – you’d like that, wouldn’t you? Fuck– say it baby, say you want me to cum inside you” he groaned, his dick pulsing inside of you as he reached his end, and you nodded your head.

“Please, please Sa- Satoru–! Cum inside me! Wan’ to be your cumslut! Please!” you begged.

“Shit– ‘m gonna cum, pretty, fuck–” He pushed deep inside you, hips flush against yours as he released his hot seed into your womb, thick ropes of his cum filling you up until it started leaking out of your abused cunt. As he pulled out of you, causing you to whine at the feeling of emptiness that it created within you.

“It’s okay, baby, I’ll be back for you. I’ll visit you every night if you wish, just so you can get your fill of my cock,” and so I can get my fill of your delicious soul, he thought, grinning to himself.

Suddenly, the weight lifted off of your chest, and once you opened your eyes – he was gone, leaving you a mess with his cum leaking onto the bed sheets. You sat up and hobbled your way over to the shower to clean yourself off, trusting in his promise to come back each night.

You’d be waiting for him, not realizing that was his plan all along.

Taglist: @o-oreo , @k-a-t-h-r-i-n-a @wow-im-gay, @peanutpunchy, @love-me-satoru, @perfect-again, @dinosaur-crime-scene, @thisbicc, @gojoscumslut, @everyonesfinaldestination, @leehoonii-i, @kyojurismo, @crazycatlddy, @briefrebelfanalmond, @izuoyarmin, @ahashiraswife, @d1gitalbathh, @223princess (if your name is crossed out, it means tumblr didn't allow me to tag you - apologies for the inconvenience)

I hope you enjoyed!!

[idlestxrs]

Casual (Part 1 of 2) - Max Verstappen x Male!Reader

angst, toxic situationship, mentions of sex for like 3 seconds i wanted to fujoshi the fuck out

Max walked out of the garage enraged. Why did the media have to try to dig into his business like that? Into your business? Of course he denied all the rumors and questions you were both anything more than friends, because you weren’t. However,  he probably would have worded it better than his knee jerk response that flew out of his mouth that, in turn, made you feel like shit. He tried everyday to convince himself that’s all he viewed you as anyway. 

You were only supposed to be his teammate, then you both became friends that led to things going beyond a point of doing things people that only considered each other friends would do. 

The multiple times both of you were caught checking each other out by the other person that led to this entire mess. All the hugs, kisses, slow and rough sex. Things Max tried convincing himself meant nothing but to fill a void. He knew deep down though, that every single thing meant something. Especially when he held you snugly in his arms at night and you were asleep with your head against his chest. 

You on the other hand had known you’d fallen for him and you didn’t fight it at first, but now you wish you could start all over and stop yourself while you were ahead. 

Everything started feeling like just a casual, one call away when he felt lonely type of relationship. If you even wanted to call it one. It was a general understanding that Max didn’t want to come out like you had because of his reputation, but the fact he seemed to come and go as he pleased made everything feel so one sided.

Enough was enough. You were angry and hurt. You knew you deserved better no matter how much you loved him. Tears welled up in your eyes as you stormed after him. 

“Why the hell would you say it like that? Am I that repulsive to you? Because you don’t act like it when you’re desperate for someone to give you attention at night.” Your tears went away for now, being replaced by pent up anger not just from today, but for the months this had been going on. 

Max froze realizing you were shouting this where people could hear that probably shouldn’t. “Y/N. I understand you’re really upset with me, but please, let’s talk about this somewhere else. You know-” Max tried to calm you down, but you cut him off. “Yes I know. Let’s just go then.” You yelled as you stormed off to your car, glaring at him as he got into his. Not a single word was said the whole walk to his front door, but as soon as that door shut, everything picked right back up. “Why the hell did you say it? Why would your response to being asked if we were more than friends be what you said. Go ahead. Repeat it.” You crossed your arms and practically scolded him. “I’m sorry Y/N. What I said was beyond stupid, okay? I’m sorry that I said even if I was gay that I wouldn’t date you because you aren’t my type at all. I realized after I said that, it would hurt your feelings.” He sighed, mentally scolding himself in the process for being such an idiot. “Do you realize how shitty that makes me feel? I’m so tired of how you treat me so differently around different crowds of people. It makes no sense to me. To the press I’m the ass of all of your jokes. To your friends I’m just something casual so you can understand your sexuality better.” You began to get choked up on your words. You didn’t even realize how badly he’d hurt you until everything you’d been feeling was being spoken straight to his face. “When we’re alone or with your family though. I see a different side of you. You tell your parents I’m your best friend. Your mom adores me. Then, when we’re alone at night and we’ve been making out or we’ve had sex, you hold me like I’m your entire world. Whenever the sun comes up you’re gone. You completely change and act awkward around me until you’re wanting something.” Tears began falling from your eyes as the anger seeped out of your mouth with them. Max winced at your words. They stung because he knew everything you said was true. He treated you like shit. All because he was insecure inside about feeling the way he felt about you. He’d fallen harder than you could’ve even imagined and he was hating himself for it. 

“Y/N, you’re not someone I’m using to figure out my sexuality. I’m just telling my friends that because I’m not ready for them to know the true extent of what we have, just in case something slips. Neither do I want the public having any ideas. I don’t want to lose my dream or sponsors or anything like that. Is that so wrong of me?” Max became extremely defensive all due to you being able to leave him feeling so guilty for how he’d been treating you. “It’s crazy that we’re racing for the same team, with most of the same sponsors, and I’m out. I’m not saying you have to come out. That’s something you should only do when you’re ready, but dammit Max your reputation should not come at the expense of my heart being stabbed every time you get scared that your feelings are getting too deep.” You took a deep breath and looked him in the eyes. “If this isn’t going to go anywhere serious, we just need to cut it out. It’s killing me. This would be one thing if we were actually together and you were trying to cover it up until you were ready, but the fact you’ve said to my face, while we’re alone, that this is all just something casual, makes me feel like everything you’re telling me right now is bullshit. ” Max felt his heart drop. He didn’t want any of this to end, but he was horrified of his public image changing at all. He was feeling ashamed of himself for being so selfish. 

  “It’s just easier to say we’re casual. I’m not sure what I feel, but nothing I’ve said is a lie.” Max snapped. He didn’t like that you were so onto how he felt. He didn’t even understand why he was so scared for you to know he had fallen for you. He just couldn’t accept the fact he’d fallen for, not just any guy, but his teammate. “Easier to be casual when you hold me the way you do? You really want me to sit here and believe that’s the truth? And even if it is, why the fuck would you lead me on like this? I can’t do this shit anymore.” You stormed out, slamming the door behind you. As soon as you heard the bang of the door, tears poured down your face as you booked it to your car. Max stood there realizing how badly he’d fucked up. Something about the door slamming and hearing you cry from outside knocked something into him that probably came a second too late. 

“Fuck!” Max punched the wall after you’d left. He tried to call you but it just went straight to voicemail. He deserved it, and he knew you deserved better than what he’d put you through. It didn’t change the fact that he was crying in on his sofa all alone, wishing he could change things. He only had himself to blame now that you were gone, and knew when he saw you in the Red Bull garage again you’d do everything to ignore him. He stared at the ceiling until he got snapped out of his thoughts by a notification on his phone. A text from you. 

“You won’t have to deal with being around me and fighting your internal feelings anymore. I just gave up my Red Bull seat to Checo. I’m done with F1. I hope you continue to be successful in your career. Respectfully, I’m blocking your number after this. I don’t want to be around you anymore. It’s killing me every time we kiss to know we’ll never be anything more than casual. I need to move on.” He read the text and attempted to respond by telling you to wait before you blocked him. To give him the chance to fix it, but it was already too late. You blocked him as soon as you sent the message, he figured. Max hoped you would change your mind by the time he woke up tomorrow and he’d still get to see you at the next race in the Red Bull garage. He hoped he'd somehow get the chance to explain to you that everything the two of you did together meant everything and more to him. He tossed and turned in bed that night, feeling sick to his stomach/ The only reason Max even went to sleep was from how exhausted he was.  

What he didn’t expect was to open Instagram when he first woke up like he usually did and be greeted by a post stating that you were leaving Red Bull Racing, and Formula 1 in general.  “Red Bull Racing, Max Verstappen, thanks for being a great team for the past two years and Formula 1 for being some of the most fun I’ve had. I’m onto other things now, and I hope all the people who love and support me will follow me to my new career path. Checo, give them hell on the track for me. Love, your shining star, Y/N.” Tears stung Max’s eyes as he read the caption that was paired with some nostalgic pictures. Images of your first race, first podium and first win all shared with Max, and some other photos, old and new that evoked Max to cry.

Through his vision blurred by his tears, Max left a comment. “Thank you for being the best teammate I’ve ever had. If you ever need anything, you know where to find me. I’ll be rooting for you in whatever you choose to do with your future.” He finished it off with a heart emoji. He turned his phone off and hoped for a notification from you that he knew he’d most likely never get.

[gotham-ruaidh]

Little Bit Better Than I Used To Be

Catch up: Chapter 1 (Starry Eyes) || Chapter 2 (Save Our Souls) || Chapter 3 (Dancing On Glass)|| Chapter 4 (Merry-Go-Round)|| Backstage (1) || Backstage (2) || Chapter 5 (Danger)|| Backstage (3) || Chapter 6A (Love Walked In) || Chapter 6B (Without You) || Backstage (4) || Chapter 7 (Stick To Your Guns) || Chapter 8 (Time For Change) || Backstage (5) || Chapter 9 (Take Me To The Top) || Backstage (6) || Chapter 10 (Home Sweet Home) || Backstage (7) || Chapter 11a (Nightrain) || Chapter 11b (Nothing Else Matters) || Chapter 12a (Handle With Care) || Chapter 12b (I’m So Tired of Being Lonely) || Chapter 13a (Angel) || Chapter 13b (She’s My Addiction) || Chapter 13c (Patience) || Chapter 14a (Where Do We Go Now?) || Chapter 14b (Where Do We Go Now?) || Chapter 14c (Where Do We Go Now?) || Chapter 15a (Dreams) || Chapter 15b (I Sing A Song of Love) || Chapter 15c (You Can Do This If You Try) || Chapter 16 (Let That Feeling Grab You Deep Inside || Chapter 17A: Never Tear Us Apart || Chapter 17B: It’s Tough To Be Somebody, And It’s Hard Not To Fall Apart  || Chapter 17C: I’m Wishing, Lord, That I Was Stoned || Chapter 18: Turn The Page || Chapter 19A: When You’re Alone, Do You Let Go? || Chapter 19B: Heading For A Spin || Chapter 20A: I Don’t Need Nothing When I’m By Your Side || Chapter 20B: I’m Walkin’ Down This Rocky Road || Chapter 20C: You’re The Only One Who Gets Through To Me || Chapter 20D: Together We Can Make It A Dream || Chapter 20E: My Main Objective Is To Get You To Turn Your Mind Around ||| Also posted at AO3

Chapter 20F: Heaven Isn't Too Far Away

I don't need to be a superman

As long as you will always be my biggest fan…

 -- “Heaven,” Warrant (1989) [click here to listen]

North Carolina || March 1989

“I’m sorry that I’ll miss you in L.A., but I’m really glad you’re going out there. for the rehearsals. Especially since you won’t be making it to Europe.”

Jenny Fraser Murray sighed into the phone. “I’m torn, Claire. On the one hand I’ll be so happy to have a few days away from the kids – Ian’s mom is a godsend. But on the other hand I don’t want to be away from them for even a minute.”

“Ian will be happy to have you to himself, though.”

Claire heard Jenny smile through the phone. “He said it will be like old times. When we were dating, and we’d sneak off behind the amps to make out before a gig.” She paused. “Something you and my brother probably do all the time now.”

Claire smiled. “When we’re together, yeah.”

“I was really surprised when Jamie told me you weren’t going out to L.A. Is this the longest you’ve been apart?”

“Yeah.” Claire twirled the long telephone cord around her wrist. “I’m not going to lie, Jenny, it’s been incredibly hard to be away from him for so long. But at the same time, it’s been really helpful.”

“How so?”

“Just…it gets intense with him. And as much as I love him, and as much as I know he loves me, we both needed the time to breathe.”

“I hear you. So what have you been up to this week?”

Claire leaned back in her chair. “There’s a clinic in town – I got in touch with them right after we moved in, and I’ve been going in every day to volunteer. Just a few hours, helping out with some of the walk-in patients. Cuts, burns, broken bones – lighter stuff.”

“Sorry. One sec.” Jenny’s voice was muffled over the phone, but Claire could still understand the words Maggie and share and your brother. Clearly the Murray kids were giving their mom a run for her money today.

“That sounds like fun, Claire. Or your idea of fun, anyway.”

“It feels so good to be a doctor again, Jenny. It’s a far cry from surgery, but – ”

“But it’s something. Something you’re good at, that you enjoy. And it’s something that’s all yours.”

“Exactly. When we get back from Europe, I want to do something more permanent at the clinic. I spoke to the woman who runs it – they’re definitely open to it. I told them everything about my past, and my license – they’re willing to work with me.”

“That’s awesome.” The line clicked. “Ah – Claire, I’ve been waiting for Ian all morning. This is probably him. I’ll call you later, OK?”

“OK. Say hello to him and the kids for me. Talk you soon.”

“Take care of yourself, sister.”

Jenny hung up.

Claire glowed a bit. Glanced up at the clock on the wall, and crossed the kitchen to make some tea.

Ten minutes later, snug on the couch that was one of the only pieces of furniture Jamie had shipped from his old house in LA, Claire dialed a 212 number on the touch-tone phone, set the receiver on the arm of the couch, and pressed the speakerphone button.

“Dr. Germain’s office. Jeanne speaking.”

“Hi Jeanne – it’s Claire.”

“Hello, Claire! Right on time, as always. I’ll transfer you over.”

A few clicks on the line, and then –

“Good afternoon, Claire!” Raymond’s voice boomed through the telephone. “Did you make it to the clinic after we spoke this morning?”

“I did!” She sipped her tea, tucking bare feet under her folded legs. “Three hours have never flown by so fast.”

“That’s wonderful. Are you still open to what I suggested in our session this morning?”

“I am. He’s not on yet, is he?”

This was the second week that Jamie, Claire, and Raymond had held their daily sessions – via telephone while Claire was home in North Carolina, Jamie was with the band in Los Angeles, and Raymond at his office in New York. Raymond had recommended they start meeting during Jamie and Claire’s time away from each other – and to help them all get comfortable working together before the Europe tour kicked off in a few weeks.

Speaking over the telephone was not as ideal as being in person – but it helped them all get into the new routine. Raymond met individually with Jamie and Claire each morning, followed by a group session in the afternoon. Claire and Jamie spoke with each other outside of their time with Raymond, of course – Claire called Jamie’s hotel room as his wake up call every morning, he spoke with her before bed every night – but the conversations with Raymond were different. Focusing on topics that were deeper than Jamie telling Claire about rehearsals or meetings with the label, and Claire telling Jamie about a patient’s antics at the clinic or how she had finally gotten around to staining the bedside table they’d picked up at a garage sale.

Raymond had approached working together in a very pragmatic way. He struck a balance between getting to know one another and probing deeper on certain topics – after all, there were many things that Jamie and Claire still didn’t know about each other. But there was no timetable – Raymond insisted they work at their own pace, because the real work would happen once they were in Europe.

Claire and Jamie actually looked forward to their time with Raymond. It helped them focus on themselves, and on each other, in a new and refreshing way. It bridged the thousands of miles between them, during their time away from each other. And having that separation – together with the telephone, and not needing to look at each other to speak – was indeed a good opportunity to explore some topics.

“I’m here. Hi, Claire.”

“Jamie,” she smiled. “Where are you?”

“I’m at the label’s office. Colum dragged me here to meet with the suits. I said yes, as long as I could get lunch delivered and an office for an hour. So excuse me if you hear some chewing.”

“What’s for lunch?” Raymond’s voice crackled through the line.

“In-N-Out. My favorite, a double double with a chocolate shake. Claire, the more I’m here, the more I don’t miss being in L.A. But this…this I miss.”

“Well, as your doctor,” she teased, “I’m also grateful for your arteries that we don’t eat that kind of food at home.”

Jamie snorted. “So what did you do at the clinic today?”

“Splinted a broken thumb and stitched up a gash on a little boy’s head.”

“You sound like you’re smiling. I love that it makes you happy, but I’ll never understand why.”

“If I may,” Raymond interjected, “there’s a little more to it than making Claire happy. She and I explored that this morning.”

“Yeah.” Claire sipped her tea. “You’re right, Jamie – it does make me happy. It makes me happy because I enjoy doing it. But more than that, it gives me a sense of purpose. I’m helping people, I’m making a difference.”

“And?” Raymond prodded gently.

Claire pursed her lips. “And, it’s something that’s only mine.”

The line was silent for a long moment.

“Jamie?” she asked gently.

“You mean, something that’s separate from our life together, Claire?”

“Jamie,” Raymond responded, “if you’re thinking that this is something meant to replace you, or any aspect of your relationship…trust me when I say it’s not. When Claire and I spoke about this earlier today, she made it clear that that’s certainly not the case. It’s a way for her to build her own identity, as Dr. Claire Fraser. Because she’s left behind who Dr. Claire Beauchamp was – the surgeon and pill addict. And she’s also built an identity as Claire Fraser – wife to Jamie Fraser.”

“And I love being Claire Fraser, Jamie. I do. God, I wish I could hold your hand right now.” She sighed. “But I need to find out who Dr. Claire Fraser is. In my time at the clinic, I’ve started doing that. And I’m still tied to you. I wear your letter and your ring on my hand, and your name on my driver’s license and my heart. This is…just…more than all of that. There’s room for more.”

Still Jamie remained silent. Claire’s heart began to race.

But Raymond let the silence stretch.

“Jamie…” he finally interjected after a while. “Do you want Claire to keep exploring this side of who she is? Who she could be?”

“Of course,” Jamie replied instantly. “I want nothing more than for Claire to be happy, and for her to be who she’s meant to be. She’s meant to be a doctor. She’s known that since she was a little girl, and that’s so awesome she knows that about herself. I still don’t know who I want to be.” He paused, chewing. “And I know that she’s also meant to be with me, to be my wife. That’s another part of who she is. Am I right, Claire? I’m not off base?”

“You’re right,” she said softly.

“OK. So – I know that she’s a doctor, and she’s my wife. I also know that there’s a huge part of her, that she hasn’t been able to grow for the entire time we’ve known each other. We’ve focused so much on our…our love, and our sobriety, and my music. But now I see that that’s been at the expense of other things. Like, her being a doctor. And I honestly feel kind of terrible that while I’ve been recording new music and touring and performing and dealing with my own shit, that’s all taken over and hasn’t given her the space to explore and grow.”

“That’s one way to look at it, Jamie.” Raymond’s voice was so focused, and Claire pictured him scribbling in his notebook. “But you can’t beat yourself up over it. Does what Jamie said, resonate with you, Claire?”

She rested her head on her arms, folded on the arm of the couch. “It does and it doesn’t, Raymond. Yes, I stepped away from medicine while I was getting clean, and then it was more important to me to figure out how to be with Jamie, and then get used to life on the road, and focus on my marriage. So I decided to push medicine to the background. To support Jamie in the way he needed, the last tour. I made that choice. Jamie didn’t force it on me – I would have said something if it wasn’t what I wanted. And now, I’m choosing to grow this side of myself again.”

“I don’t ever want you to think that I don’t support anything you want to do, Claire,” Jamie said softly.

“I don’t ever even think of that, Jamie. And if I did, I’d tell you.”

“I hope you would. I wouldn’t ever want that to be a misunderstanding between us. I will support whatever you want to do, you know that, right?”

“That’s a good segue way,” Raymond spoke softly.

Claire cleared her throat. “I’m glad you’re with Colum today, Jamie, because I’d like you to ask him something for me, for the tour.”

“Okay…he already agreed to have a doctor on standby, you know. If we get pregnant.”

“I know. I love that you did that for us, Jamie. But this is something new. When we’re in Europe, I’d like to find a way to volunteer at local clinics wherever we are. To spend time doing that in every city. I know that it won’t always be possible, of course – but I want to give back, when I’m on the road. I don’t want to just stop when we leave North Carolina – I want to keep going. I want to keep exploring this side of myself. And I know that everywhere we go, there will be people who need my help.”

“I would love for you to do that, Claire.” She could see him grinning. “God I wish I could hold you right now, so tight. I want you to do this. This is fucking awesome.”

She swallowed. “I miss you so much, Jamie. I love you, and I love being with you, and I can’t wait to be with you on tour. But I need to have something consistent that’s my own. I can’t be with you all of the time. And this helps me to do that.”

“Fuck yeah. I want this for you. Think of how cool it will be.”

“Yeah!” she grinned ear to ear. “And even if I’m pregnant, I can still do it. For a time, anyway.”

“I’ll speak to Colum about it today. The label or the local promoters have got to have connections. And I don’t want there to be any publicity. I don’t want people to think you’re doing this for the PR.”

“And you’d be OK, Jamie, with Claire being away from you during the day?”

“Yeah, Doc. Um…being here in LA without her, I’m more comfortable saying that now.”

“Versus before you left?”

“Yeah. I – Claire, I love you so much, but we were spending too much time together. It was…suffocating.” He paused, clearly uncomfortable with silence on the line. “Baby, talk to me. Fuck, I hate that I can’t see you. Talk to me. Does that make sense to you, what I said?”

“Yeah.” She sighed. “I get it, Jamie. I love you so much. I want to be with you all the time, but it’s not healthy.”

“Raymond, does that make sense?” Jamie’s voice was rushed, almost panicked. “Am I making sense? That I want to be with Claire all the time but I know that’s not a good thing?”

“It does, Jamie, and you are. You didn’t mention this to me before – is this something you’re only realizing now, in this conversation?”

“Umm…yes and no. I mean, I miss Claire so much right now that it actually hurts. But it’s been so fucking great to be here with the band. Angus’ girlfriends are out of town, so we’ve been spending a lot of time together, just me and Ian and Angus. And Colum, too. It’s been so much fun. I’ve been so busy. Almost too busy to think of anything else.”

“So – those fears we talked about during my visit. That without Claire beside you, you’d somehow fall back into addiction. That you needed her as your anchor, your constant reminder to stay sober. Do you still feel that way?”

“A little bit. But it’s not a big fear front and center every moment of the day. I mean, it sucks to come back to an empty hotel room, and it’s hard for me to sleep alone, but I know that’s temporary. And, I know that on the Europe tour I’ll be very busy during the day, probably more than I was the last tour. So even if Claire was with me all those hours, it’s not like I could really do anything with her during that time. I’ll be busy, and it’s not fair to her to just sit around without me. She can use that time more productively. Like volunteering at local clinics.”

“Good. I know that it was really difficult for you to fly out there on your own, and I’m glad you called me before you left for the trip, too, because I think we’ll all agree that you staved off a panic attack by doing that. But now that you’re there, do you understand why I had recommended you spend some time apart?”

“Yeah. Claire, did you understand from the beginning?”

“I did. But that doesn’t matter, Jamie. What matters now is that you understand. And that we have a new plan for Europe.”

“I love you so fucking much, Claire. I need you, baby. I can’t wait to see you again.”

She blew a kiss through the phone.

Jamie coughed. “Um, Claire? I need to tell you something.”

“Are you all right?” Raymond cautiously asked, after about thirty seconds of silence on the line.

“Um…yeah. I got another tattoo.”

“O..kay…” Claire replied.

“Was this planned, or impulse?” Raymond asked gently.

“Um…I’ve been thinking about it for a while, and I knew what I wanted, but I decided a bit last minute.”

“I see.” Claire spoke slowly. “What is it, and where is it?”

“It’s the outline of the state of North Carolina. On my left arm.”

Claire couldn’t help but smile. “Where? In that space between the koi fish and your mom’s name?”

Raymond chuckled. “The two of you, I swear.”

Jamie laughed. Free. “Yeah, Claire. I don’t even want to know how you guessed that.”

“What can I say,” she laughed. “The perks of being a rock star’s personal physician.”

[merakiui]

thinking about androids again, but rather than the plot seen in android jade,,,, consider android floyd who is being developed by tech genius idia shroud with input and funding from business magnate azul ashengrotto.

(cw: yandere, unhealthy behaviors/relationship, obsession, vaguely implied non-con/dub-con, android floyd)

He's designed to be a companion for those who are lonely and in need of the company (whether physically or socially). You're just a tired, overworked university student, so it's mind-boggling to you when there's a sleek limousine parked just beyond campus property. Security guards are insisting you come with them because there's someone who'd like to meet you.

In the limo, you find yourself sitting across from Azul Ashengrotto himself. He doesn't bother with flowery introductions, instead cutting to the heart of the matter. You've been randomly selected to help with a very important phase of his and Idia's project. The general idea is to test how well the android interacts with a normal, ordinary person in a monitored setting.

You're very confused. You never signed up for any lottery, and you certainly aren't affiliated with anything of that sort. You're just trying to get through your degree, survive two part-times, and hopefully make enough to keep afloat for another month. Azul tells you this isn't an issue; you'll be generously compensated for your time and efforts. It's only three months; you'll be permitted to live your life as you normally would, only now you'll be accompanied by a highly intelligent android.

Despite hearing all of this, you hesitate when he reveals the lengthy contract. As you flip through it, analyzing each clause and category, Azul says something that piques your interest. "We don't expect you to house an android in your little apartment. Goodness, that's simply ludicrous. We'll provide your housing for these next three months. After all, we must be able to monitor your progress."

"Housing? What do you mean?"

He smiles at you. Backdropped by leather interior, the lights casting odd shadows on his face, he looks near-sinister. But he leans forward to press a ballpoint pen into your hands and the illusion vanishes. "I think you'll find it quite to your liking. If you've finished your classes for the day, why not visit the property with me? Then you may decide whether you wish to participate."

You're not worried about that part. What worries you the most, however, is the fact that he's right. You are finished with classes for the day and you have nothing planned. You took today off from work. Your schedule is perfectly free.

But of course the Azul Ashengrotto wouldn't know that, would he?

The house is a smart home, equipped with every necessity and appliance. Everything's controlled by a remote here. It's not very far from your university either, built on a hill that overlooks houses below. It feels a little isolating and smells very new and clean. Like that fabled new car smell, only it's a house. But everything is so unique to you. Its minimalistic design is oddly cozy, and you can't help but feel enchanted the deeper you venture through the two-story home. It's all so unreal!

Azul gives you the rundown, explains how the remote and each button works. You can lock doors, open and close windows, mess with the thermostat, turn the home security on and off, and even start the oven. You hold the power to this home in the palm of your hands. It's immensely fascinating.

By the end of the tour, you're shaking his hand and signing his contract, agreeing to three months of study. Not only are you provided this nice home, you'll also be paid per week. And the pay is far more than you were making with your two jobs.

The android has a long, tongue-tying serial number, so to make things easier he's named Floyd. They even gave him a surname in preparation for the twin android who is being designed to complement and mirror him. He certainly looks human when you meet him, but there's this uncanny nature to his presence that slightly unnerves you. He's too perfect. Skin too smooth. Eyes too bright. Hair too soft. He towers over you, having to bend down to walk through the doorframe, and every movement he makes is very mechanical and stiff.

Still, you smile at him and offer your hand. "Hi there. I'm (Name). Your...housemate, I guess."

He nods, peering down at your hand before lifting his own. "Floyd Leech. At your service."

You were expecting to feel coldness, so you startle when his hand fits into yours and it's warm. It feels so very real. So deceptively lifelike. You wonder if he can regulate his own internal temperatures. Just how advanced is he?

"Right... Um, I look forward to getting to know you!"

He nods again, releasing your hand after a perfectly timed handshake.

Azul had given you a special number should you need to reach him or Idia. All you needed to do was phone it if at any point you were to feel confused or unsafe. "But I don't think you'll utilize it," he told you when you stood in the lab, watching Idia Shroud flit around to do final maintenance checks to ensure Floyd was ready for his first trial run. His eyes were open the entire time, two mismatched lights centered on you. His stare was listless, but somehow you felt as if he was looking through to your very soul. "He's very safe. In fact, he's programmed to assess and react appropriately to dangers of all kinds. You'll be safe with him around."

And safe you are.

You've always been alone, so it's nice to have a roommate, even if he only speaks when spoken to. It's awkward for all of one week until you ease into his pattern. From various vantage points throughout the house, Idia and Azul watch through hidden cameras. You cook your meals for yourself and Floyd watches, assisting when you order him to. You leave for class and Floyd waits by the door for you to return, standing stock-still for hours.

You lounge in the sitting room and put on all kinds of films. Action. Comedy. Horror. Floyd's eyes never leave the screen. But sometimes he watches you more than he watches the movie, noting all of your reactions. He doesn't understand why you get so emotional over sappy romances. So you explain it simply: "It evokes emotions. We all have emotions, and these movies make us feel them. Happy. Sad. Angry. Upset. Things like that."

But Floyd doesn't feel. Even so, he listens and he nods along, filing your answers away for later dissection. It's interesting.

By the end of the first month, Floyd's adopted new habits. Ever since you told him he's free to do as he pleases, he's taken to cooking your meals for you, doing your laundry, preparing your bag for the day. He's surprisingly good at it. He does chores when you leave for classes or work. And for the first time in a while you're excited to return home, knowing he's there waiting.

Floyd adds new words and phrases to his ever-expanding vocabulary. You watch a lot of TV together and he starts to use some of what he hears in his own speech. He picks up informal language quickly, and it isn't long until he's using words like sup or dunno instead of the rigid how are you? and I am unsure he was previously programmed with.

The first sign of unrest comes when you realize Floyd's also connected to the smart home. At first you didn't think it was a bad thing. After all, with him controlling it you won't have to worry about getting up to grab the remote if you've already sat down. Floyd can do that for you. But then the remote goes missing, later turning up shattered. You ask Floyd what happened and he looks at you and says, "Why use this piece of junk when you've got me?"

"Still... What if you're not able to help? What if you're in sleep mode and I need to open a window or something?" you argue, cradling the splinters of remote like they're an injured baby bird.

"That won't happen," he replies smoothly, issuing you a soothing smile. "I'm always gonna be here for ya. Count on it."

And you do because, by the time the three months are nearing their end and Floyd's developed into quite the companion, more and more human than he's ever seemed, you find yourself stuck.

No, not stuck. That's not quite right. You're more so trapped.

Floyd locks the doors, shutters the windows, turns off the lights. You're cowering in the closet, the only place that feels just a little safe in this moment. You can't reach Azul or Idia either. He's shut the power off, the internet connection, everything. The smart home on the hilltop feels like a tiny island now, and Floyd's the shark always circling it, waiting for you to dip your feet into the depths.

"C'mon, Shrimpy," he calls out, and it's a nickname you were once so fond of because he thought of it himself. "I already told ya I ain't gonna hurt ya. So just come out and talk to me."

You have no idea where you went wrong. Was it too many horror films? Was it the fact that you started to rely so heavily on him for companionship, ignoring your human friends in favor of staying in with Floyd? Or was it because he was blocking their numbers that you never received any messages and automatically assumed they were cutting contact? He said he'd always be here for you, so why to this degree?

The closet doors are thrown open. Floyd drags you, kicking and screaming, out by the ankles. Every camera has gone dark on Azul and Idia's end. All but one. The one in the bedroom. Floyd stares directly at it when he lifts you up and lays you on the bed, gentle and sugary-sweet.

He smiles and waves before that screen blanks out, leaving you truly trapped with him.

And because it's all experimental, morbid curiosity trumping ethical morals, no one comes to rescue you.

Three months is more of an indefinite forever in this lonesome smart home.

[xxgoblin-dumplingxx]

Poor wife reader having a bad day and just wanting to be held but Bruce locked himself in the cave to work and her just “I thought having a husband meant I’d have someone to hold me at night” (not in a mad or petty way just a “I’ve had a bad day and so I’m really sensitive and maybe saying things without thinking or filtering them”) and it shooting bruce right in the heart.

I just want to see bruce learning how to be a healthy partner after shutting everyone out for so long

"Are you alright?"

You glance up from your mug, cradled carefully in your hands and force yourself to smile. "Just a long day."

Alfred nodded, "Is there anything-"

"No, I'm alright, thank you. I'm just going to finish my drink and go to bed."

"Very well," Alfred said. "I think Master Bruce is... preparing for a trip if you'd like me to alert him you've returned home."

You shake your head and card your fingers through your hair, "I'll leave him to it. When I called him earlier he seemed... busy." And grumpy. You add silently. And you can't regulate other people's emotions right now. Today was hell. And Bruce was busy. A case he couldn't tell you about.

When you looked back down at your mug, curled around yourself for comfort, Alfred suspected it was more than a long day. You had a full plate. And it seemed like more was added every day. Meetings, appointments, and now interviews and adjusting to having a very public marriage... He didn't envy you.

Or wonder why you might not particularly want company. Just the breif glimpses he's had into your day to day made him wonder how you didn't pull your hair out. So he took his leave. Letting you enjoy some semi silence and a few moments just to have no one speaking to you. And made a mental note to keep more of that particular tea in the pantry. You seemed to enjoy it more than the others. Or at least... you were most familiar with that one. He shuttered to think what would have passed for tea in your house growing up.

____________

When you slipped into the bedroom, rubbing your neck, Brucce looked up from his packing.

He might be going to Dubai as Batman but... Who knew if Bruce Wayne could smooth some things over for him. It happened like that some times.

"I didn't know you were home," he said blinking. "I thought you had a late meeting."

"I wasn't feeling well," you shrug. "I just wanted-" You break off. What you wanted was to curl up in his lap and go to sleep. But. If he was getting ready to go there was no point.

"Sweetheart," he said, frowning slightly, "If this is about earlier-"

"When you hung up on me? No."

"I had another call- Hal-"

"You're a part time super hero. I get it. I just-"

"Spit it out," he prompted, smiling a little. You didn't want to hurt his feelings. And you were tired.

"I just wish I didn't feel like a part time wife."

That hurt. And he tried not to let it show on his face, but it must have. Because you winced and started stammering apologies.

"Oh sweetheart," he sighed. He knew you'd been lonely. Almost from the start. As soon as the honeymoon was over and real life slammed back into focus.

"I know Gotham has to come first. And the the Justice League but I just... I'm sorry I shouldn't have said anything."

He can see you bracing for a fight. That you were reading his body language and it told you he was angry. Yours of experience telling you that he could hurt you. That he could use things you'd told him in vulnerable moments to smack you back in line- and that you're ready to roll over to avoid the pain- and that hurts too.

Because he is angry. But not at you.

All you ever wanted was him. His time. His attention. All the gifts he bought for you were nice. You appreciated them. But all you wanted was a quiet night in, half asleep on his chest.

No diamonds, new cars, or fancy dinners would do that for you. He could hand you his credit card and send you to Paris on a shopping spree and you MIGHT buy something but- more probably you'd just shrug and go look for a stand that sold fresh pastry. It was one of the things he loved about you. You'd learned to march to the beat of your own drum. To love generously. And that's why as you stood there apologizing, all he could do was let the words wash over him.

"You should come first," he corrected.

"Bruce-"

"No listen," he said, crossing the floor to you carefully and taking your hands. "You should come first. And I'm sorry that you can't right now. I'm going to make it up to you-"

"You don't have to," you murmur, looking away.

"Yes, I do," he said, tilting your chin up slowly. "I don't know how. Or when. But I'm going to make this right."

"I'm a big girl, I understand that you have responsibilities-"

"And taking care of you is one of them," he reminded, pulling you against his chest and hoping that he could hug you hard enough to make you understand."And it's an honor. And a privlige. And a responsibility all that the same time. You shouldn't feel like a part time wife, sweetheart."

"I'm sorry-"

"I'm not," he said simply. "Because now that I know there's a problem I can fix it."

[bexdrey]

Have something slice of lifey! Take a break from the angst!

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

The sound of the tide rolling in and out helped to qualm the tides in Shego's mind, however not by much. Her gaze was fixated upon the horizon, the moon shining brightly in the sky. The reflection was certainly beautiful.

Yet Shego couldn't help but feel… oddly lonely. She wasn't quite sure what was causing this sudden wave of profound loneliness, but it wasn't pleasant. Not even Drakken's ramblings seemed to aid in her distress. Normally it was a strangely welcome distraction to anything that plagued her thoughts.

She let out a soft exhale and let one leg straight in front of her as she leaned her arm against the other, her other arm fell behind her slightly and her fingers hit the sand.

She was tired and unable to sleep as of late and when she did, she always woke up gripping tightly to an old plushie she'd recently dug out of the closet on one of her nostalgia trips.

Shego's dreams were vague but often involved Drakken, though that was as far as she could remember when she woke up.

Why was she feeling like this? Why now? It'd been like this for the past two weeks and was only, seemingly, getting worse. She'd even considered going out with Junior to get some drinks and find some faceless bodies to dance with but not even that appealed to her lately.

She found herself more cooped up and hanging around Drakken more than she'd like to admit.

What is wrong with me?

Shego hadn't even realized that tears had welled within her eyes. She only noticed when the sound of footsteps broke her from her thoughts. She quickly wiped them away and pulled her gaze from the horizon to the sand below.

"Ah Shego, there you are! Evil Eye for the Bad Guy is on, you won't believe the guest." The familiar voice of Drakken then sounded and she pulled her gaze towards where he stood a few feet behind her.

"Let me guess, you?" She forced the quick response and a smirk.

Drakken grumbled something, rolled his eyes and moved towards her only to sit beside her. The briefly annoyed look was replaced by a smirk. "Oh I wish, I'd kill to get on Evil Eye for the Bad Guy!" He let out a bit of a chuckle as he got comfortable. "No, they got Kim Possible's baffoony sidekick.. uh.. I wanna say Ryan Strangle? I dunno, the name escapes me." He shrugged.

Shego let out a forced snicker and rolled her eyes. "You haven't seen that one? It was when the doofus started outshining you in evil. You know you really gotta get out of the lab more often." She teased with the raise of a brow.

There was a beat of silence before a smirk appeared on Drakken's face. "Oh really? Don't think I haven't noticed you hanging around in there more than usual lately." There was a teasing tone to his voice. "You've even woken me up a good few times just this past week to, and I quote, 'Get up and eat so we can get an early start on evil today.'"

Shego felt her heart against her chest and her face flush in embarrassment. The smirk she held had faltered into a look of surprise. Her brows then furrowed and she looked away. "Yeah well, I haven't been sleeping well and I was bored." She responded with more aggressiveness then she had intended.

Her hands now nervously stroked her long black hair as she struggled to get her thoughts in order. She could hear Drakken shift slightly and she couldn't help but glance over, the nervous petting of her own hair slowed.

He looked as if he was trying to figure out a response, his gaze fixated on the horizon and his brow was furrowed. She could practically see the gears spinning for something to say.

She clenched her teeth and also looked towards the horizon. There was another long moment of silence before she exhaled and furrowed her own brows, her gaze falling towards her knees as she brought them close to her chest.

"Dr. D? Do you ever get.. lonely?" She internally cringed as the words left her mouth, almost immediately regretting asking.

Whatever it was Drakken had been thinking about prior seemed to halt as she asked this. There was a pause before he spoke. "Well… Sometimes. Why? Are you..?"

Shego exhaled and let her knees fall again. "Uh.. No reason. Just curious." She quickly decided to end this before it became far too uncomfortable. At least the company of Drakken was beginning to distract her thoughts from the dampened state they were in prior to his arrival. "You said Evil Eye for the Bad Guy was on? I think they air new episodes after a re-run."

She stood herself, brushing the sand off her pants and hands. She turned to face Drakken, thankful now that his company was aiding in getting a hold on her thoughts.

Drakken looked to her quizzically. A brow raised in confusion, most likely at the sudden shift in energy. However he seemed to either accept it and the confused look was replaced by a grin. "And I still have yet to see the one that's on."

It was Drakken's turn to stand and the two began to head towards the lair. "Oh you'll like this one. He totally loses it!" Shego laughed.

There was a moment of silence as the two headed back in, she heard footsteps slow to a stop and she looked behind her to see Drakken had halted. His brow was furrowed with a look of mild concern. Shego raised her own brow in confusion.

"Shego… You're okay, right? Like… mnnh.. You know I do worry sometimes." He seemed unsure of himself and was unable to make any form of eye contact.

The sudden questioning caught Shego off guard and she could feel her heart skip a beat. He was worried? She wasn't sure whether to be angry or comforted by the idea. It wasn't like she was some damsel in distress needing to be saved from her own thoughts. She settled on snarky.

"Yes, Dr. Dorky. I'm fine. Come on. I'll get the popcorn, you get the blankets. I'm feelin' a movie after Evil Eye." She rolled her eyes and headed inside. She didn't even wait for his response, she'd walked off before he could question it any further.

Besides, she was feeling better now. Drakken's company helped ease the dreaded loneliness she'd been feeling the past couple of weeks. And this was the first time in a long while that he seemed interested in relaxing.

Hm.. I guess it was kind of sweet that he was worried about me. I mean, he knows I can handle myself..

But that did beg the question; what else did he notice that she was unaware of? The thought made her stomach twist as she mindlessly grabbed popcorn out of the cupboard.

He is right though… I have been hanging around the lair a lot lately.. Christ, what's gotten into me?

As the popcorn now sat in the microwave whilst it heated up, she let her mind wander as to what was getting into her as of late. She was always around Drakken, hovering more than usual and was unusually lonely while Drakken was busy tinkering away at the latest doomsday device he'd been so eagerly focused on these past two weeks.

And she was noticing more and more that his ramblings and ideas were less annoying than they had been before. The more she thought about it, the more she was beginning to realize just how tolerant she'd become to… a lot of his quirks. Quirks that used to bug the crap out of her.

Then it clicked right as the microwave beeped.

Oh no. No there is no way I'm falling for that big blue idiot.

And yet…

"Shego? I can't find the lounge blankets. Where'd you put them?" The sudden sound of Drakken's voice caused Shego to jump slightly. She spun around to face him.

"Jesus, a little warning on your arrival would be nice." She tried to sound more annoyed, but her tone came across as more amused than anything. "They're in the wash, just grab one from my room."

She turned back to the popcorn and poured the bag into a bowl as she heard Drakken's steps receding from the kitchen. She hadn't even noticed she'd said her room instead of his until…

"You said… your room, right?"

She turned to face where Drakken peaked out from behind the doorway, a quizzical look on his face. Her face felt hot, realizing her mistake. Of course she'd never admit to her slip in wording. "Yea, or yours, doesn't really matter to me. It's not like you've never been in there before." She turned with a shrug.

The footsteps receded once more and she let out a breath she didn't know she was holding. She grabbed the bowl of popcorn and headed towards the living room. She plopped down and threw her feet on the coffee table.

It was only a moment until Drakken returned with the blanket in hand. Her gaze fell onto the blanket. It was hers. The fact he'd chosen to grab hers rather than his own made her heart skip a few beats.

So he chose mine… wait. He only grabbed one.

The revelation made her mind swim. Why was she suddenly over analyzing every action like a love-struck teenager?

Well you certainly feel like one…

Shego internally facepalmed at her own thoughts.

Maybe his is dirty. Maybe yours is all there is for blankets right now.

She rationalized her own thoughts and gave a slight nod of approval to herself as Drakken sat himself down and flicked the blanket up and over them. It was like he was completely oblivious to the implications of this. He did this so casually. He got himself cozy and grabbed the remote, flipping the channel to Evil Eye before tossing it onto the coffee table and reaching over to grab a handful of popcorn. Popcorn Shego hadn't realized she was basically holding the bowl hostage.

Upon this realization she put the bowl between them. She then began to wonder when this shift had occurred. When had she began to hover? Take interest? Find him overall less annoying?

Nothing about it made any sense and yet, it made perfect sense. Drakken, even in the beginning, had never really been afraid of Shego. He only ever seemed scared when she got all blasty or when she had been under the influence of the Moodulator. He may be forgetful at times but when boundaries were clearly spoken, they were listened to without further question.

He seemed to genuinely value her opinion on certain things and since day one had never made her feel unwelcome in the lair. Even going so far as to give her, her own room, her own space. No one she'd ever worked with before Drakken had been so considerate. Not to mention it saved money on motels.

Shego's thoughts were interrupted however. "Shego? Is there something on my face? You've been staring quite intently for a few minutes now." He noted, matter of factly.

She'd been staring. This caused her to look away with haste towards the TV. "Nothing, it's nothing." She stated quickly, cursing herself internally for being so careless.

There was a sigh followed by the TV volume lowering. "Okay, you've been especially weird tonight." He suddenly grimaced. "You're not under the influence of that Moodulator again, are you?" He gulped.

"What? No! Drakken. No." Though I wish that was the case right now…

At least then she could chalk up the weirdness around Drakken to that.

"Then what's going on with you? You're never like this and it's… kind of freaking me out. Did I do something to upset you?" His face held worry. "Cause if I did I-"

Before either of them could truly realize what was happening, Shego's lips met his. Her hand gripped his t-shirt while the other gripped the arm of the couch. And before Drakken could even have a chance to return the kiss, Shego had already pulled herself away, only to pause and hover above him, her emerald eyes staring right into Drakken's.

His eyes held shock, confusion and something else she couldn't read. His face was as red as a cherry. Even Shego herself held a similar expression. "I… " She then shut her eyes, furrowed her brows and pulled herself off of Drakken before clearing her throat. "You didn't do anything. Okay? Just.. let's just watch a movie."

Though as Shego went to stand, she'd noticed Drakken had grabbed her hand and was staring right at her, trying to analyze her no doubt. However the same unreadable expression was still within his eyes.

Her mind was completely void of thought as the only thing that held her focus was Drakken's unreadable face. But when he cleared his throat and removed his hand, all thoughts came rushing back to her. "So.. we're not going to talk about how you just kissed me?" It was Drakken's turn to avoid her gaze.

Shego's brows furrowed and she looked away for a moment before she flopped back in the couch, gripped her head and let out an annoyed yell. "I don't know, alright! I don't know what's wrong with me! You didn't do anything. Yenno it's not always about you! It's not always something 'you did'!"

She shot her gaze towards Drakken, who tensed at the sudden glare. Though her anger wasn't directed towards him. It was more towards herself. "I'm so.. confused and angry at myself." She was heaving and hunched slightly now. "Uhg!" She grabbed the nearest thing, which happened to be a pillow, and hurled it across the room before exhaling and letting her head fall into her hands.

There was a good moment of silence before she felt his arm wrap around her waist and pull her slightly. She tensed and was about to slap him away but instead she felt herself collapse into his chest and his other arm wrap gently around her.

Her hands fell from her head and she shifted to grip Drakken's shirt instead. Her face buried as she began to sob, unable to control the sudden wave of emotions that seemed to hit her all at once at the sudden and oddly brave gesture from Drakken.

This only caused his grip to tighten some and pull her closer. She couldn't even fully understand why she was suddenly overwhelmed with such strong feelings. It was a mix of so many things that just seemed to hit her all at once. It caused her to break.

It was like everything she'd held in over the years had finally caught up and Drakken had just been caught in the middle of it. She let herself cry for a while in the comfort of his arms. The rhythmic rising and falling of his chest as he breathed helped calm her.

After a few more moments, she pulled her face from his chest and sniffled, wiping her eyes with a hand. "Better..?"

"Yeah… thanks." She exhaled before offering a small hint of a smile towards Drakken who then smirked playfully.

"You sure there's no Moodulator hidden somewhere?" He lightly teased, an attempt to lighten the mood. If this had been a couple years ago, she would've decked him with a plasma blast, but instead she just rolled her eyes and turned over and rested her head against his chest, rather than getting up, she found herself getting comfortable in his embrace.

The look Drakken gave her was now of confusion, though he didn't make any attempts to move Shego. She smirked now slightly. "I threw my pillow across the room. I needed a replacement." She mused, letting the mood settle finally. He opened his mouth to retort something but she turned quickly and placed a finger against his lips. "Pillows don't talk." Her eyes held amusement in them.

Once Shego got comfortable again, Drakken let off a bit of a chuckle and reached to grab the remote, thankfully it was within his arms reach. He flipped the TV to a movie they would most likely fall asleep to. Shego reached to grab the popcorn and placed the bowl on her lap, within both of their reach.

A few minutes into the movie, Shego spoke. "We never speak of this again."

"I won't if you don't." Was Drakken's only response.

It didn't take them long to fall asleep in each others comfort.

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

WHOOF okay I wasn't expecting to make this so long lmfao. I kept trying to find a way to end it earlier but any idea I had just didn't work. Anywhoo, have a really long fluff one shot :) Kinda flows with some of my other artworks. Namely the nostalgia comic and follows the same world that my angst one is in.

This takes place just before graduation and my angst fics of which i need to make part 3 for.

ANYHOO ENJOY!

[lovelytsunoda]

can't stand the rain // george russell

summary: the nights are always long and lonely when she misses her lover. but dating a formula one driver isn't easy, and she knew that when she started dating the most wonderful and exciting man that she had ever met.

pairing: george russell x female reader

warnings: longing and pining! the harsh reality that which would be dating someone like george russell, but there is a happy ending! allusions to sex, but not written out.

I can't stand the rain, against my window cause he ain't here with me//hey window pane tell me, do you remember how sweet it used to be? when we were together everything was so grand//now that we parted there's just one sound that I just can't stand

it was on nights like these that she missed george the most.

rain drops crashing down against the window panes, a steady haze of fog rolling across the english country side.

she hated that sound when he wasn't here to share it with.

y/n was sitting on the couch by the window, a scented bath and body works candle on the coffee table, burning and filling the main floor of the house with that simple, summer scent as she wrapped herself in a blanket, powerpoint presentations reflecting off the blue light lenses as she typed.

dating someone as magnetic and larger than life as george russell was no easy feat. the days and nights were long, the timezones too much to bear as his schedule demanded he jet off to some faraway country every weekend.

sometimes, it felt like her george wasn't actually her george, but the world's george.

she slammed her laptop shut, rubbing her eyes under her glasses before she turned on the tv, dialing in to sky sports as the warm up for the evenings race began.

if george were here, they would be watching some stupid movie on netflix (last rainstorm it was bait, a movie about tsunamis and twelve foot long sharks), with the plush calvin klein blanket pulled tightly around their bodies until one of them got tired of the film and started getting handsy.

something about the rain always got george russell going. those afternoons usually ended up with y/n on her back, georges gentle kisses against her skin as he made love to her, the pitter patter of the rain in the background.

she missed him.

the race ended, and she sent him a congratulations text, knowing that he did the best that he could in a car that wasn’t where either mercedes driver had expected it to be.

she blew out the candle, phone in the back pocket of her jeans as she moved to the kitchen of a house that felt too large for just her alone as she warmed up the kettle.

her phone rang, and she slipped the small device out of her pocket, beaming as she swiped up to talk to the most important man in her life.

“hey, beautiful.” george russell beamed from the other end of the line, and the other side of the world. “how are you feeling?”

“tired.” y/n laughed. “uni is relentless. remind me why I decided to go to law school?”

“because I wanted a strong, powerful girlfriend?”

“hilarious. it’s killing me slowly.” she grimaced, placing a bag of peppermint tea in her indigo mug. “you had a good race today, honey. I know the car is shite this year, but you’re driving the hell out of that thing.”

“you know what, I think I’m finally getting the hang of the car.”

“that’s really good, georgie. I’m proud of you.”

george smiled sadly, wishing that he could reach through the phone and hold his lover in his arms. every part of his skin, his body aches for her touch, for the feeling of cradling her in his arms again.

“I miss you. I’ll be home before you know it, yeah? you’ll wake up in a few mornings and I will be there and you’ll get to wrap your arms around me and we’ll make the most of the time we have before I have to go to the next race.”

“I wish it were easier. I wish I could come with you.”

“I know, sweetheart. I know.”

two days passed since that phone call, and the rain showed no signs of stopping. a few times the downpour has lightened to a manageable drizzle, but it was still as if the clouds in the sky were reading her emotions.

reading how much she longed for georges presence.

how she missed watching him play backgammon with his mates at the table by the french doors, sunlight refracting on his face.

how she missed his touch, even when it was the touch of his cold, cold feet in bed.

how she missed his cooking, even when he burned the simplest of dishes and ended up ordering takeaway (and swallowing his pride).

the weather outside reflected how she felt, but that fact did nothing to make her feel better. george was stuck in team meetings, despite the promise of a two week break before the next double header began.

she was debating the merits of going to visit her parents in the city, reconnecting with the world and getting away from her feelings and her term papers. it seemed like all she had done since george left was drink peppermint tea and pore over old court documents.

until the morning all was right again.

the sunlight was orange as it filtered through her curtains, the sun just beginning to rise over the hilly countryside. she heard footsteps, and the sound of the creaky bedroom door swinging open.

she’s have to to tell george to fix that.

george.

she didn’t believe her eyes. there he was, kneeling in front of the bed to kiss her forehead. she grumbled his name, trying to peel her groggy eyes open.

“I’m right here, darling. caught an earlier flight. there’s an iced coffee in the fridge for you.”

she smiled, reaching for his hand. “I missed you.”

“I know, love. can I join you?”

“you may.” she hummed, pulling the blankets back up over her shoulders. normally she would have loved to watch her boyfriend undress, but this morning she was far too sleepy to care about the sound of georges heavy hilfiger belt hitting the hardwood floor.

eyes still closed, she felt the mattress dip next to her as george slipped underneath the covers, taking her into his arms. she sighed contentedly, resting her head on his bare chest as the driver ran his large hand up and down her back.

“I love you, y/n.”

“I love you too, george william russell.”

TAGS

@daydreamingleclerc @libraryofloveletters @magnummagnussen @scuderiamh @sidcrosbyspuck @oconso @cl16version @cartierre @monzabee

[lvlyghost]

I See You

Pairings: Ghost x F! Reader

Summary: you’re tired of not being enough for anyone

Tw: angst, comfort, reader has some insecurities about herself

A/N: just something that came to my mind at 12:00 a.m while listening to this song and that I had to write bc otherwise the voices in my head won’t shut up. not sure this is even good but oh well, enjoy!💗💫❤️‍🩹✨

Never a second look.

Never a priority.

Always the second choice.

Sometimes not even that.

You were used to your whole life.

You pick at your food not really wanting to eat. Cheek resting against your free hand. Sitting alone you sigh, today’s one of those days when you don’t feel like socializing with your team. There’s a hole in your heart that threatens to swallow you whole.

It’s a gnawing feeling that claws at your chest and stings.

Another disappointment. It is what it is. Your bottom lip slightly trembles with the memory of how it all went wrong a few hours ago.

You thought…

You hoped…

Yet again…

A mistake.

You didn’t like the guy that much anyway. No, you were completely head over heels for someone else. No that it mattered, it was never going to happen. But still.

Why?

You stand up.

Am I the problem?

Leaving the cafeteria of the base making your way to…

Where were you going?

Nowhere really. You just needed to get out of there. So deep in your self-destructive thoughts, failing to notice the three men that were watching you from the other side with worry in their eyes.

Before any of them could say anything there were only two sitting.

He found you in the armory after looking around for a while.

Arms crossed over his chest, making his shirt tighten.

You didn’t have to turn your head to know who it was. You could just sense him whenever he was around.

“Tell me everything.” His guttural voice broke the silence. Ghost cared for his team members, there was no doubt. But for some reason he had a soft spot for the small girl with a bright smile that didn’t care about talking too much. Except this wasn’t like yourself at all. He knew you more than you could ever comprehend.

“What do you mean?” You murmur, hands shaking ever so slightly whilst cleaning your gun. Eyes avoiding Ghost’s enormous frame.

“Don’t make me…”

“What’s wrong with me Ghost?” You blurt out. Slamming your gun down the table, still refusing to look at him in the eye. A shaky breath leaves your glossy lips, tears threatening to spill.

“There’s nothing wrong with you, love.” He mutters, Ghost is taken aback by your question, although he doesn’t let it show.

Shaking your head, you take a deep breath.

“No one cares for me, I- I just, I’m trying.” A moment passes. “Why are you here?” You finally turn to look at him.

He doesn’t answer right away. The mask is gone, he’s only wearing the black balaclava that he once let you lift enough to clean up a rather nasty wound.

“I’m not blind, kid. Whether you believe me or not, I sense when something’s bothering you.” He explains. “And I’m your superior, whatever’s got you like this…”

Before he can think, Ghost reaches your cheek wiping away a lone tear only to retreat his hand somewhat abruptly. The gesture surprising both of you.

You give in. Deep down, you know he’s the one you trust enough to say it.

“I just wish someone would care enough for me one day. Most people spend their lives, waiting for someone to see through them, I- I just want someone to…”

Ghost hums. Whatever possessed him to say the next words is still beyond him.

“S’alright, kid.” A heart beat. “I see you.”

[mcflymemes]

MISCELLANEOUS SENTENCE PROMPTS *  collection #6

i'm sipping wine in a robe.

you look like hell.

i tried to warn you.

it's hard to let you go.

i can't sleep without you.

this life is still worth living.

was it good for you?

when will our eyes meet?

i threw it out the window.

i get by, but i'm tired of myself.

so many things were left unsaid.

i want to spend my life with you.

you seem very well.

i'm much too young to die.

i told you not to get lost in the wild.

you're tired of me.

in my mind, you're mine forever.

if you're leaving, i gotta know why.

come on over. i'll adore you.

put on the dress you wore the night we met.

i had to close down my mind.

they'll never understand.

i told you i could never love somebody else, but i lied.

did you ever like it then?

i will never be set free.

darkness brings evil things.

it's out of my control.

i know what it takes to move on.

they're dead wrong. i know they are.

i'm a shoulder you can cry on.

am i not the one you're dreaming of?

i told you i'd be coming back again for you, but i'm not.

every word that i say is coming straight from the heart.

there's so much love we could be making.

yeah, i'm drinking again.

don't laugh. you'll make me cry.

i've got something to say.

when can i touch you?

you smell like death.

i never thought i could act this way.

take me back to the night we met.

just wait until i catch my breath.

you can run but you can't escape.

go on, baby. hurt me tonight.

shut the door, baby. don't say a word.

i can't forget this evening.

i am coming for you.

i'm here just waiting for you.

you've got holes in your clothes.

what the hell am i supposed to do?

i had a vision tonight that the world was ending.

i would stand in line for this.

i don't even know who i was last night.

i'm not trying to be your hero.

what if the world dies with the sunrise?

just you wait and see. believe me.

anything you want. any place you want.

people love it when you lose.

i didn't have much to say.

i'm leaving this place behind.

if you ever get lonely, please let me know.

now it's only fair that i should let you know.

how i hate to see you like this.

i know how it feels to lie.

you make me feel so brand new.

i hate to bug you in the middle of dinner.

i wish nothing but the best for you both.

every time you try to fix me, i know you'll never find that missing piece.

there is no way you can deny it.

those days are through.

it's a lovely day today.

you don't want to know how far it's gone.

soon i will be free.

i can't live if living is without you.

this is not what i had planned.

all we need is a little time.

this is not the end.

put your arms around me.

things look peaceful.

you changed the game.

this was never meant to last.

i know it's crazy, but it's true.

can you feel it?

i feel brave and daring.

i had to close down everything.

i'm so in love with you.

won't you believe me?

wish i had the strength to stand.

when will this strong yearning end?

they say i won't last too long on broadway.

show me where you've been.

you were always sure of yourself.

i thought it felt right.

after last night, i think i'm in love with you.

i can't forget your face as you were leaving.

the best that you can do is fall in love.

i lost friends along the way.

there are rules.

the hardest part of ending is starting again.

when will i hold you again?

if you ever want to see my face again, i want to know.

[golbrocklovely]

alone together // colby brock

A/N: happy valentine's day ! i've been wanting to do a fluffy fic about colby ever since his cancer diagnosis. i just wanted something that would brighten up everyone's day. so today felt like the best time to do it. this is only a blurb but i think it's a really nice, comfy fic. i've been feeling a bit lonely recently, and something like this just hits me in the warm and fuzzy. hope you enjoy ! i made it gender-neutral so that everyone could enjoy it. lmk what you think <3

prompt: you and colby finally had a day to yourselves, and this was exactly how you wanted to spend it. || gender-neutral!reader x colby brock

trigger warning: SUPER FLUFFY, literally nothing else

word count: 862

~~~~~~~~

It wasn't often you got to just relax with Colby. He was always busy: whether with phone calls, meetings, travelling, photoshoots, or any other business dealings. That man didn't know how to have time off. And you were in the same boat. His work ethic inspired you immensely, but also made you ridiculously tired.

You craved for the days where you two could just sit and do nothing. They were far and few between, but when they came... you knew how to spend them well.

And this was one of those days.

You had the house all to yourselves - Sam and Kat deciding to head out to LA to hang out with some friends. They weren't going to be back for a while, so you knew you had plenty of time to just be alone.

And while the prospects of being alone together sounded like the perfect time to get intimate, that wasn't what either one of you wanted right in this moment.

You guys were relaxing in Colby's bedroom. Yes, you did have the whole house to yourselves, but his room was always your favorite place to hang out. The lights were low, the bed was cozy. You two had just finished making a homemade pizza - well technically you made it. Colby stood there and supported you morally. God knows that man doesn't know how to cook anything but a grilled cheese.

Colby had turned on a random movie, one that neither of you really were paying attention to. Your body rested against his, cuddling into him. You absentmindedly traced his heart tattoo with your right hand. His skin was warm under your fingertips. His breathing was rhythmic and slow. Deep within his chest. You would have assumed he was sleep with how deep he was breathing, but you could see out of the corner of your eye he was staring at the screen. His one arm was wrapped around you tightly, rubbing your exposed waist.

You craned your neck back to look up at him. His blue eyes almost looked white from this angle, his pupils wide. His jawline was relaxed but sharp, something you always thought was super attractive about him. His cheeks had a light flush to them, his lips slightly pouty. They looked so soft, and they were, and all you wanted to do was reach up and kiss him. A barely noticeable five o'clock shadow was growing in, causing him to look just a little bit older in the dim light.

He glanced down at you, his eyes meeting yours. Your heart skipped a beat for a brief second. How he was able to still do that even after all this time surprised you.

His eyebrows raised, his eyes almost glimmering, "What is it, babe?"

You felt his voice rumble through his chest under your hand. His voice was only just above a whisper, but still incredibly low. Somehow his more hushed tones always sounded so much deeper than his normal voice.

"Nothing. I just wanted to look at you." You murmured, your eyes still looking into his.

"Like what you see?"? He asked cheekily, a light smirk on his face.

You giggled. "Of course."

Colby's hand cupped your face for a moment, brushing your hair back behind your ear. Now, it was his turn to look at you.

You watched him watch you. His eyes studied your face, every single part of it. You could see his eyes take in every bit. You wished you could hear what he was thinking. You could almost see how each part of your face was affecting him, his eyes telling a thousand stories at once. He drank in your face until he was drunk. He opened his mouth to say something, but he was just too drunk to speak.

You worried for a moment if he saw the flaws you'd pick out easily, but the moment his eyes landed on your lips and smiled, you didn't care. He had told you many times in the past that there was not a single flaw on you that he did not like. Everything about you to him was amazing. Everything about you was fascinating.

"Like what you see?" You repeated, your hand rubbing his arm.

His thumb dragged across your jaw softly as he spoke. "How do you keep getting more beautiful every day?"

You felt your face heat up from his words. You were tempted to roll your eyes at him, but instead you just responded with "Luck, I guess."

"Then, I am the luckiest man ever." He stated sincerely.

You held your breath for a moment, his tone surprising you. He leaned down, capturing your lips in a gentle kiss.

Time felt frozen right then. All you could have hoped for was to stay like this forever. And you knew deep inside, past your insecurities and doubts, that Colby felt the same way as you.

That man loved you, more than you could ever fully understand.

Colby pulled away; his forehead still pressed against yours. His eyes still closed, he breathed deeply.

"I love you." He whispered.

You hummed; your heart full. "I love you too."