#I feel so stupid just ranting like this
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Thinking about the fact that Mabel and Dipper didn't know they had two great uncles.
Yeah they are 12 and at 12 I had a shotty understanding of my family tree- But really? Nobody brought up their great uncle? Stanley? Especially since they'll be staying with his twin brother, Stanford?
Shermie never went to Stan's fake funeral, which to me means the twos relationship was strained on some level. If Shermie is older that means his view of Stan was poisoned in some way, that even as kids they weren't close. If the Shermie is younger then he never even got to meet Stan and all he knew about him was how he failed his family. Hell, people probably barely mentioned Stanley TO Shermie.
The fact that Stan had become a black stain upon the Pines family name makes me so vividly upset. Stanley faked his death and the family just- seemingly decided to strike him from the record. To pretend he didn't existed to spare themselves the sadness and shame.
Stanford and Shermie Pines. The only children worth mentioning of Filbrick and Caryn Pines.
It was never Stanford that was lost to the world. It was Stanley, ever since he had to leave New Jersy- it was always him that had to be struck from the record. Change his name, change his state, change his affiliations, destroy the remains of ghost that was Stanley Pines. Kill him so the family doesn't bring him up, doesn't ask questions, stops asking "Stanford" about his twin.
I just keep thinking about the fact that since the day he made one single mistake all the way up until Ford walks out of that machine- Stanley Pines was killed and did not exist. And Stan himself had no one to blame, he had to play the part in his own demise- He is the only one who ever knew Stanley was alive and has been for decades.
He lives in the multitudes of every personality he's ever taken, all in the hope that he himself can stop being Stanley Pines.
#gravity falls#grunkle stan#stanley pines#STANLEYYYYYY#STANLEY THEY COULD NEVER MAKE ME HATE YOU STANLEY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!#sharky rants#Just. Imagine the fucking shame you have to live with#the shame that you can never be yourself. That anything you were is unwanted and forgotten#The shame of just BEING- Of taking space of- of /breathing-/#Imagine the world; your friend; your family; your colleagues being so ashamed of having known you#that you feel more comfortable with a persona to present.#You feel more comfortable stealing the identity of someone you care for deeply if only to help#If only to feel capable for once. To feel like you belong- Like youre doing something good for once#Imagine the shame that brings you to be comfortable not being yourself for 40 years.#ALL CASE YOU BROKE ONE FUCKING PROJECT??????? COME ON#I mean- the deeprooted shame was started from earlier. He was 'the stupid twin“; 'the troublemaker”; “the cheat and thief”#This was a long time coming#But those werent MISTAKES- The one time he genuinely made a Mistake he lost everything#Like he really mattered so little to the people around him#and he cant really blame them.#My cousin is a genius. Hes smart and academically achieved since I was a baby.#The only thing I had that he didnt was my ability to draw. to be creative. The guy for the longest time had a better social life then me too#I used to get brought to tears seeing his accomplishments- seeing people praise him. The shame lived in me any time I had to see him#The shame that I was the black sheep of the family next to the golden standard for a son- for a student- for a friend.#when I was none of those things#And Im lucky he was my cousin- cause if he was my brother that would have haunted me EVERY DAY rather then once or twice a year#Im better with it now; Im more content with who I am- But trauma dump aside-#I very very very much understand Stans shame in being the stupid one. The unachieved one in a family full of achieved people#the shame thats angry at him for being better. at the family for treating him special. and most of all at yourself that you cant be better#its a visceral feeling that I sadly understand
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I don’t think we talk enough about how being love bombed can like really fuck you up??? Like yeah is it easy to identify from an outside perspective? Absolutely. But being in it and having someone devote that much time and attention to you (even if it is manipulative in nature) to then having it end abruptly when they’ve gotten what they wanted out of you… 🫠
#mine#text post#it’s so devious and sinister the way people can just do this to people#and every time I come out of it#I just feel so stupid and like of course that’s what was happening#why wouldn’t that be what was happening???#and not only does it feel super shitty to feel like you were being used#and also that like everything they said was just a ploy to get something from you#but like the withdrawal of attention is my least favorite part#because it feels nice to be pursued and flirted with and called pretty#and to have someone ask about your day#etc etc#but then when it disappears#you just feel awful#at least I do#and don’t even get me started on how it becomes so hard to believe people after that#to believe anything anyone says#to see yourself as desirable outside of manipulation and being used#just shitty shitty shitty#ruminating on things I shouldn’t#but was thinking about this tonight#having fallen prey to it so many times#sorry for the rant#I’m done now
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Me trying to explain to everyone that Will’s curse DOES make sense and it isn’t that stupid
#like why is this the biggest complaint#idk like not to over hype but I feel like a lot of the complaints with TID are solved if you don’t just mainly focus on the romance#Will I’m sorry people don’t get you the way I do#I think a lot of people automatically assume the curse is stupid bdcause Will doesn’t necessarily make the best decisions#but if you look at it in the story it does make sense#like he’s the one who lets the demon out- his sister gets hurt- and than the demon tells will that everyone he loves will die#the next day his sister passes away#I’d believe I was cursed#not to mention his curse is also an accumulation of guilt for “killing his sister#so he put a lot of that guilt into the curse which is his reason for lashing out#not to say he’s the kindest person ever#I just feel like his curse is very misunderstood#very long rant soo#the shadowhunter chronicles#tsc#shadowhunters#cassandra clare#the infernal devices#tid#Will herondale
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"I was gonna say you're like a son to me.. but you're more than that."
"It ain't that complicated!"
How quickly that shoulder pat of comfort turned into a condescending one.
#he makes me feel so emo#this life was never meant for you but your fate was forced#the way dutch (and hosea) talks to arthur like he's stupid will never sit right with me#like they've been by his side over 20 years they KNOW he isn't stupid because if he was he would have been gone a long time ago#not only is arthur incredibly emotionally smart but he's a trained conman vault breaker gunslinger horse rider you name it#the fact that his own adoptive parents break him down like that hurts#it's a manipulation tactic on dutch's end - break your victims self esteem to make them chase your praise and approval#hosea I believe has just gone along with that kind of attitude but in a different way he just likes to jest lightheartedly#arthur doesn't see the difference though and it's understandable but he takes it to heart#the worst part is that hosea sees through his tough guy act and has called arthur out on it#his act is a defence mechanism to protect himself from being too vulnerable - in arthur's mind#and it isn't a sudden thing it's very likely something that has built over the years given the life he has lived#and hosea notices he knows this#but they still jab at arthur#oh it hurts#is he your son dutch? or is he your guard dog? your personal workhorse?#playing through the second time is opening my eyes more and more#rdr2#red dead redemption 2#mick squeaks#mick rants#mick gifs#arthur morgan#dutch van der linde#liveblogging#you guys gotta understand - arthur seeks and longs for dutch's approval he'll never say it but it's the key motive behind his loyalty#and arthur *rejects* dutch's comfort#he doesn't *want* dutch to pat him on the shoulder because he knows dutch is digging them an even deeper hole#he doesn't want that touch he craves#it's so insanely monumental for such a small scene because it shows us how arthur feels without telling us
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the company i work for decided that its switching from the german formal "You"(Sie) to the informal "you" (Du) in all of our websites so now we have to scour the entire database to change it and i quite frankly hate that, not just bc the unecessary extra work but especially bc its such a weird and unecessary change
i bet its bc everything here is getting englishfied (both literally and culturally it feels like, when my new boss talks its half in english bc every second german word is just replaced by an english one despite there being perfectly fine words for it in german too, its so annoying) and bc they want to sound more personal in hopes of getting more clients bc 'company is your fwiend uwu!!', i know this here is the amercian tm site so you wouldnt understand really but i do not want to be greeted with 'du' by companies, no, thats too personal, you dont know me and im not giving you my data, stay away!!
i guess thats how i would describe it .. the formal you is like a polite distance, like someone you dont know staying outside your personal space, but when its the informal 'you' it feels invasive unless i told you you can call me that, and that goes double for companies
maybe its a small thing that doesnt seem important but i cant stand it, im just a little part time worker doing data work so i got no say in it but the companies founder also announced hes giving his post to his kids some time ago so ...... since then theres been alot of changes and new projects that solely aim to imitate whats popular and whats done by other companies, despite ours being one that is, or used to be, intentionally different, like, that was the POINT, but i guess chasing trends is just too appealing for CEOs
#ganondoodles talks#personal#rare personal rant#theres more and more changes that feel so weirdly forced#like man#i thought being different was the whole point#like climate and ethics are .. or were .. the core idea and now i guess its just fine to do whatever conventional companies are doing#yeah woohoo lets also do an app thing that forces people to sign up if they want reasonable prices!#smartphones the standard everwhere!#who needs anything physical if you can put it in an a phone so syphon off data directly out of people fingertips!! yea!!!#lets use AI pitcures bc we refuse to hire more graphic desingers and they are jsut so overworked uwu#climate? ethic? whats that#argh#sorry this needed to get out#recently had a stupid conversation with a coworker bc i asked them why we are okay with AI shit now when it goes against what this-#company was presumably founded on#and he was rly defensive and said welll we dont have time and its cheap and also maybe we should got WITH the time#like that last thing especially pissed me tf off#but i cant afford to lose this job#im starting to hate it more though so the dream of being able to stay like this might not be real#i cant get a job in this place that is as nice to my mental health so idk man#i wish i was good enough at merch and online stuff so i could live of that#but even trying to find out how taxes work on that stuff is a nightmare to me
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ok top 5 least favorite parts of that article lol:
1. taylor sings on her tour even when she’s stressed!! (she did have to reschedule one night after a girl died bc of unsafe conditions. taylor was so sad 💔)
2. girls have been told that our natural feminine interests, like love and glitter, are silly. but if we monetize those things, then more “female art” gets made! #feminism
3. horcruxes, infinity stones, gandalf
4. i thought about bringing up the fact that taylor’s career never actually died or even suffered that greatly, but then i decided not to, because what matters is that she felt canceled
5. “female rage”
#spent a full hour going thru it paragraph by paragraph w my twin#just so that i could stop & complain every few seconds abt how inane it was#why can’t people like her music & leave it at that…..she is not a feminist deity lmao#anyway. this feels like SUCH a stupid thing 2 be posting abt but. well it’s my stupid blog….#swiftie mutuals look away etc….#ranting and raving#txt
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#can i yap for a moment#im extremely sleepy but im feeling very upset and mad and confused#also lowkey questioning whether me feeling all that is justified or if i am overreacting#anyway#made out w a boy tonight#and he wanted to go to his place#and i was like no i wanna stay and dance with my girlies#and he gets upset??#asking why i'd kiss him if i don't wanna hook up and i said i just wanna have fun?#made me feel so stupid#that anger in me led to a little fight with another boy (who was unfortunately very cute) and i just wanted to punch him#i just hate when boys think they're so superior#so i argued with this stupid but hot man#until an ex? friend shows up and he was pretty drunk just yapping about things#anyway he basically told me he'd like to rekindle our friendship#but not in a heyy haven't talked in so long let's meet up again#it was in a heyy let's hang out again got a new big car and moved out of my parent's house 😋#which gave me the ick bc that's why we aren't friends anymore and i told him no multiple times#and got sad bc he was one of my closest friends#anyway and then we left the party#this guy pulls me aside the parking lot#and i was so embarrassed bc there were so many people and they were all looking and i could already see people gossiping about it#and i just wanted to die#and then he just CONFESSES??#gives me flowers and all which is saur saur cute#but i legit have zero feelings for him </3#and have commitment issues and have never been in a relationship and don't wanna be in one#actually grosses me out thinking about relationships </3#the confession was so random and i kinda lost another friendship? even tho i wouldn't rlly consider him a friend we just share sum classes#but yeah boys are so stupid and confusing and i dunno how and why i get myself into these situations :') m sorry just needed to rant </3
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one thing I have learned about being poor is that you cannot for a moment stop thinking about it
#theres no peace#every little thing reminds me we are poor#seeing friends having electricity wifi heat food gas. it all costs money. and bills and fees and charges happen all the damn time#im constantly worried that i am measing up somehow or im not keeping track of my finances properly#the person handling our disability assistance application keeps coming back with question after question about my job#and i have so much doubt and fear that ive made some mistake in my answers that will disqualify us from support#and theres this sick backwards stupid thing where applying for and being on disability support is discouraging me from trying to make money#because the more i make the less likely we'll get support but i need to make money to live#its just fucked. and once we're on support i have to make monthly reports of my income so ill feel like im explaining myself all the fuckin#time#cus the system isnt built in a way that makes sense for self employed ppl who have business expenses to account for#sorry for the ranting i cant sleep#truly truly i think poverty is making me a worse persin#more anxious more resentful more jealous more miserable more spiteful#i have so little and there is so little i can do to help it#i want things in a more desparate and even childish way than i used to eant things#spend a lot more time fantasizing about magically having expendable income#not to mention the constant exponential guilt that comes from asking for help or recieving help. its guilt i need to unlearn but i feel it
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I just need everyone to know that I fucking hate Hamlet prince of Denmark. This stupid fictional man makes me so goddamned angry I need to squeeze him like one of those rubber toys where the eyes pop out and shake him so violently like a child discovering snow globes for the first time. I fucking hate Hamlet prince of Denmark oh my god.
#I read hamlet for the first time a few weeks ago for class and I'm writing abt it in an essay#I liked hamlet the play though less than I thought I would based on how hyped up it is#and oh my god do I hate this stupid man so much#I don't know if this is the intended reaction#I know you're not supposed to Like him but I think he makes me angrier than probably the average audience member#he's like the 16th century version of chronically online I don't know how to explain it but he is#hamlet would love reddit#like so many of his problems would have been solved if he just talked to people he makes me so mad#anyway#hamlet#shakespeare#hamlet prince of denmark#that asshole#you know the jurgen leitner rant? that's how I feel about hamlet#not exactly the same obviously but the same energy#the heir speaks
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#ughhh i need to get my stupid eating back in order im sooo fucked up i feel like shit and i cannot sotp thinking about food day and night#i feel like im some vampire thats starving and is about to suck dry the first person it sees ughhherfjvrbng#im crazy broooooooo#i googled it and apparently this can be a sign of illlness or something but ive been struggling with the whole disordered eating things for#years and years and years#im wondering if i dont just have atypical depression tho cause that would. explain some stuff#and the whole eating thing too ig idk its so hard to think about regulating my diet in any way and not swing right into one of the extremes#literally unable to not just eat everything in sight or starve goddam#uhhhh sowwy for the rant vent thing but im just really tired of the situation... -.-
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Wtf is this expression.
This looks more like a face Hypnos from hades would make than a lady facing her abuser.
This is a face you make when you’re giving the himbo prince of the underworld advice not when killing the man that r**** you.
#anti lore olympus#anti lo#lo critical#lore olympus critical#lo criticism#lore olympus#I’ve seen fastpass spoilers on Reddit but wtf#also that design?does not slay#I’ll make a separate post on how much I hate the design later#at this point lo is just a joke#but then again I have a rewrite to learn how to draw for and I like to analyze these things so ehh it’s not that bad#I just hate this chapter it’s not even funny#is this what the others who’ve been in the business feel?#the worst part is that the monologue is cool in theory but once you think of it for more than five seconds it becomes stupid#but anyways I don’t want to save the actual rant in the tags so yeah
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stiff ahh pose but crazy how its taken me Seven Months to draw a nagito that looks even somewhat remotely close to how he looks in my head. Big day
#nagito komaeda#sdr2#danganronpa#danganronpa fanart#fanart#art#finished#wikoart#ok im just gonna rant about how he looks ive done this before in ts but#Hair. ok you guys know those like cheap ass wigs that have been crimped or wtv you call it. Nagito#Not like the shiny plastic ones but like. The ones that have been really brushed up? i dont know it just feels very coarse i guess#not in the way that he doesnt like wash his hair bc he def does but thats just how his hair is#his mullet type thing is so important to me i can never really translate it well into my art#i got it here tho so. :33333#other important nagito design aspects because i love him a lot#back profile. big ass hood. semi baggy jeans. stupid eyelashes. the fold on the back of his jacket like midway down where it like goes out#the WALLET CHAIN.#the 55 on the back of his jacket#i just really like his jacket. its so ugly#wide ass shoulders#freakishly tall#i know hes only like 5’11 but you know thats still like a foot taller than me hes freakishly tall to me#bony hands#hes such a freak#i love him so much#his skin is def dry as hell#sandpaper#anemic so hes like freezing to thr touch#COLLARBONES
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Tfw you wanted to get some Halloween outfits out for Fiddlestan and BillFord (possibly the twins too) on Halloween but your schedule is fucked, your busy with other projects and inspiration for costumes flew out the window so you’ll have to post way later then you actually wanted 😭
If I could plan my art better and ya know WORK DURING THE DAY INSTEAD OF SOLEY AT NIGHT this would be way easier lmfao
#gravity falls#the book of bill#bill cipher#billford#ford pines#fiddleford mcgucket#stan pines#Fiddlestan#mabel pines#dipper pines#Halloween#Halloween costumes#my schedule is fucked#I have so many projects I need to finish 😭#that’s a REALLY bad thing with me I accept and think of more projects before I can even finish my ones#it’s a problem#I really need to fix it#soooo yea#by the time I finish Halloween will be over 🥲#ani rants about stupid shit#ani rambles#I was MAYBE gonna do some ocs too and just slap em onto TikTok but I’m not sure#don’t mind me i’m just rambling#I like celebrating holidays ok#it feels like they’re not really celebrated anymore and it makes me sad#Hell I’ve STILL got FinnFern ideas I need to draw/finish lmao#send help
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I never thought I'd say this, but there's no way I'm one of the only ones here that isn't chronically online. Right? Right??
#PLEASE don't tell me this is genuinely how all of you view this#I'm not gonna make a longer post unless prompted but. there's no way so many of you are this chronically online. there's just no way#I mean this is the nicest way possible btw#some of y'all need to get some friends IRL. like genuinely.#if y'all are thinking that its evil to draw teens smoking weed or for there to be 2 year age gaps in high school relationships-#you do NOT know enough people. I'm being serious#don't get me wrong; some of the things being talked about are serious issues#(I am basically only referring to Louis when I say this. I hope you're doing okay man)#but the rest is stuff that is just so stupid I swear#I don't like engaging in drama hence why I'm not gonna tag the fandom or make this a big post outside of the tags#So much of this is the kind of thing you'd see in a 2018 DA ranters video and that is NOT a good thing#the combination of a lack of nuance + being teens with no life experience + hard opinions is soooooo ass#like this feels like the beginning of a clique who hates artistic expression#I saw one of the posts talking about how people in this fandom should basically be only wholesome or else you're evil and just. What??#Not how art works. not how liking a thing works. stop trying to police the people around you#when I say 'you' I am referring to the amorphous blob of people I'm targeting this rant at and not everyone btw#and I thought that me with my mental health testing approved black & white thinking pattern was bad. god damn#sorry for these tags being so long and ranty I just needed to yap about how I think a lot of this is stupid#if anyone following me doesn't want to follow me anymore due to this that's fine. idrc tbh#I could also like explain anything I mean in an actual post if anyone is confused by any of this#but otherwise this is my two cents#andy rambles
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so ... that stupid totk masterworks book has been out for a while hasnt it?
does anyone know if its possible to find a version somewhere you dont have to pay for? (especially the german version) so i can avoid that at all costs of course, i definitely totally plan to spend money on it
#ganondoodles talks#zelda#i know i asked this before but?#doesnt hurt to ask again#especially since it has been a while#idk if its been out everywhere but i havent heard anythign of it in a while#to be clear i dont want it bc i like it- if i liked it i would pay for it#its just so i can make my full rant be truly fully complete#i have been holding back writing on it bc i dont want to write pages full of stuff only for it to be completely changed by the book#....yeah one of my goals before the end of the year is to get that at least properly started#the other is to get at least one update for chapter two of destiny out#i am so torn between working on different projects#like i also feel like i can only do the rant if i got my rewrite fully done with all the concepts in presentable condition etc#which ... is just ... kind stupid to do but i feel like if i dont put as much effort into it as possible its gonne be dismissed-#-if i brough it up in the rant at the end like i planned#to present a fully reworked version and everything that might convince people i do got at least a lil bit of a feeling for that stuff#and its not just whatever unrealistic dream gamer game tm or something#though its also not what i wanted or expected- its just what id do#.. anyway ... totk rants been haunting me again
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Having Ace as a fav is weird because the takes I see on him are either the type I've always wanted on my favs, digging into his character despite the low screentime and sharing fascinating views or the most brain dead, disappointing, shallow takes known to man
There is no in-between
#the way his fans see him makes me so happy as someone who always wanted others who looked as deep as I did#we are an insane bunch but we aren't alone so it feels so good#there are so many interesting views#then there are the wildly stupid ones#like if you aren't gonna bother looking at a character past surface level just move on and shut up#the way powerscaler dudebros' brains function is downright embarrassing#nothing wrong with enjoying cool fights and the action ofc#but judging everything by strength like some elementary schoolers is :/#it's mostly grown men too#sorry for the rant I just can't believe some of these people#I'm sure it's the same for the other characters too#lulu rambles#one piece#portgas d ace#portgas d. ace#dunno if I'm having the time of my life or wanna pull my hair out#I'm sick my brain isn't functioning normally lol#God forbid you have to think about a character beyond what the story directly feeds you
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