#I feel so much less like some kind of alien or half-person after a good long talk w my friend 2night <3< /div> Explore tagged Tumblr posts

[hajihiko]

✨✨🌙✨🚗✨

[transformers-spike]

Human SO giving TFP Ratchet a well-deserved break. Doctor gotta update his knowledge on anatomy, right?

Get his ass

Hours of watching Ratchet slave away at his workstation have taken their toll. You walk up behind him, confident enough he won’t accidentally crush you after dealing with the hyperactive-likes of Miko. “Hey docbot!” you cry out waving an arm at him. He turns around just enough to acknowledge your presence, massive brow plates furrowed into a wide V. “You should really consider taking a break now, it’s been at least…” you tap your chin thoughtfully – “20 cycles since you started your uh…” you gesture at the massive mechanical mass on his desk, “the thing.” To his credit, despite being clearly exhausted, he tones down the annoyance in his voice when he tells you he’s fine. Right, fine and dandy, you think. You’re half considering shimmying up his leg to get to his massive workstation, look him in the eye and tell him to clock in for the night. But before you can so much as touch his leg, he moves away from you, kneeling down to save your sorry ass neck from developing early onset scoliosis. “I appreciate your concern,” he says matter-of-factly, “but our kind can operate without rest for a considerable amount of time.” You almost wait for him to add something about humans being unable to withstand the same sort of stuff after the two-days-and-a-half all-nighter he watched you pull fuelled up on nothing but coffee and spite. Still, you are a shameless being, and so you overlook the judgment of his optics and reel him back in.

“Nope,” you shake your head. “Not when everyone else takes time to recharge, and especially not when you’ve been neglecting your energon intake.” You’re unsure if he seems more proud than frustrated when you give him his usual “get some rest” speech. You offer his pede a “that’s final” pat as he takes the time to contemplate his next course of action. While staring right at the thingamajig on his desk… “Alright,” you say with your hands on your hips, “well if you don’t want to stop working, guess little old me’s going to keep all their human anatomy for themselves.” You hide the evident smugness in your voice with whininess. Said whininess rings out just loud enough in the (thankfully) empty bridge room for you to cringe inside. Cybertronians have thinner face plating compared to the rest of their frames, which gives the energon underneath just enough transparency to come to the surface in what you’ve come to describe as a blueberry blue blush. Holy shit, you think. Did my lack of game actually work? “I won’t let you impale yourself on my spike,” he states with the finality of a death throw executioner. “I know I know,” you mumble sheepishly, “but what do you say?” You flash him a smile promising mischief. He gives you a final once over, ex-vents loud enough to have the noise reverberate in your ears, and gently offers you a hand to climb on.

Back in his berthroom, you grind against his interface panel with enough force to fuck up your zipper. Another pair of jeans ruined in this economy to Ratchet’s bemusement, even if he hides it under a good-natured scowl. “Well shit,” you say, proceeding to remove your pants and everything else on your person in the sexiest manner you can strip, which probably looks more like a headless chicken wrestling with the clothes it evidently shouldn’t be wearing. Not that Ratchet minds. His optics trail from the curvature of your neck to the moles and odd freckles bespeckling your chest before receding down to the stretch marks across your stomach and hips. As odd as it feels having someone – an alien lifeform no less – taking in the many flaws of your body, you feel no judgment emanating from him. You would assume the interest he has in your shape is aesthetic in a scientific manner, like a botanist observing the upturned petals of a newly discovered species – but the softness of his gaze indicates much more than that.

You don’t flinch when he reaches out an exploratory digit to stroke your skin – heck, you turn around and give him 360 access to everything he wants, completely unabashed by your own nakedness. Glancing over your shoulder, you can almost hear the anatomical jargon in his head as he traces a finger over your trapezius.

“Please don’t tell me you’re taking mental notes again.”

“My processor is resting just fine,” he responds. You’re halfway through calling him a liar when he scoops you up with ease and brings you to his lips. The kiss is featherlight, tickling the nerves between your trapezius and latissimus dorsi. You let out a short sigh of content and crane your neck just enough to kiss him right on his nose-ish area. It feels much harder than the rest of his face, probably because it’s part of his helm. Eh, you’ll ask later, you’re already far enough with your one way ticket to fingertown. Right on cue, his eyelids flutter open, blue optics draping warm light over your naked and suddenly too cold body.

You hear the familiar whirring of his interface panel and you send him a look of incomparable excitement as you glance from his rapidly pressurizing spike to his flushed face.

“Can I?” you ask like a child at an ax throwing competition. His vents flip to their third setting, but he nods cautiously.

Mass displacement, for all the three hour and a half explanation he gave you, may be completely off the table with team Prime’s worrying level of energon, but at this point you’re too excited to care.

He sets you down in his lap, close enough for you to finally get a good up close and personal look at his spike. Fuck human flashing, this thing literally glows with blue biolights, grey and metallic with the same orange accents of his frame. If you had any brain cells left, you’d be tempted to ask him if Cybertronians can cosmetically change the paint of their spikes. Sadly, you’re too busy ogling at his valve to care.

You crawl over to it and lean down to look into its upside down vastness like a cave explorer. Not a second later, your 300 IQ brain considers shoving your entire arm up his valve, if only to prove you can be just as good if not better than a Cybertronian in the berthroom (human ego and all). Just as fast as the thought appears, you’re now batting it away reminding yourself it’s too risky considering its piston mechanism. If it can take a 7 foot tall metal dick, you don’t want to find out how easily those walls can close around you and shatter your radius, ulna and humerus, and possibly turn your muscles into organic mush.

Oh shit. Naked and bent over like this he’s definitely gotten a good look at the entirety of your wiggling genitals while you were exploring his open interface panels. Quite the gentleman (and pervert you assume), he hasn’t mentioned your – ahem, situation until now.

Taking it in stride with overinflated confidence, you send a wink his way and immediately shove the tip of his spike into your mouth. If your jaw’s aching is anything to go by, going deep is most unwise – but Ratchet’s startled moan is all you need to go down another inch.

Whatever meager trust you’ve instilled in him is your one way to make your giant robot boyfriend overload so hard it cures his resting bitch face. You throw yourself into your work, mandibles threatening to give out as you bob your head up and down not even half of his spike tip.

“That’s enough,” he calls out, struggling to regain cognizance from the sound of his strained vocalizer.

His warning means well, but at this point you’ve sacrificed too much of your jaw to give up. You take your courage by the dick and go as far as you can without dislocating it, breath cut short by his sheer girth.

This, for all its meager worth, is just what he needs. Your remaining brain cell has enough foresight to constrict your larynx when his transfluid shoots down your throat.

“Spit it out!” he cries out like an underpaid teacher watching a student shove the class pet into their mouth. “You don’t know what it could do to your biology!”

You cough and sputter, but it’s too late, you’ve swallowed it whole. You turn to meet Ratchet who’s looking at you like he’s about to turn into an ambulance and cart you off to the hospital with June on speed dial.

“Hopefully get me pregnant,” you say with a wink, batting your eyelashes at the docbot.

[beevean]

So some recent... discourse put into my mind the concept of "power fantasy", and how people relate to it in different ways. Of course, I'm talking about Hector :P

Is Hector, in the games, a power fantasy? I think the answer is "yes but actually no but actually yes it's complicated".

Let's be honest, first: Hector is a product of his time. He is, in many aspects, Castlevania's response to the wave of edginess that was en vogue in the mid-2000s - I don't compare CoD to ShTH for no reason lol. Hector was always meant to be an anti-hero contrasting the pure heroes the games always starred before him:

—Why did you choose the theme of "revenge" for this game? Iga: Up to now, the Belmonts have been seen as the good guys. I thought it'd be nice to do something other than a moralistic "good triumps over evil" theme sometime. After all, Castlevania has always had an excellent world for telling a "dark hero" story. Alucard would be one such character… though even he is fighting for a just cause: "I've got to stop my Father!" So he's still kind of a good guy. This time, though, I wanted the motivation itself to be impure. So this theme is what I came up with, and then I thought it would be even more interesting if each side was out for revenge on the other.

Hector has "impure" motivations. His quest is completely selfish: while all the other protagonists want to face Dracula (or others in his place) because it's the right thing to do, Hector is just in to kill the man who ruined his life. In fact, he really couldn't care less about the Curse, and multiple times in the game he asks why can't Trevor just deal with the issues he doesn't want to deal with lol. This is in line with other characters of the same caliber, such as Shadow sneering at a city being invaded by aliens until there is something in for him, or Guts who declares that he's willing to let a whole town fall prey to demons, as long as Casca is safe. However, this is not a detriment to Hector's character like it would be nowadays, as he's also very much mean to be "cool": while obviously every protagonist has his cool factor, even going back to Simon in the first games who defeated Dracula all by himself and then had to heroically struggle with the Curse, Hector is cool in that, well, deliciously over-the-top way that was all the rage back then. He can ride wyverns as he slashes them, he can go toe to toe with Trevor himself to the point that even he is impressed, he can forge a gun and an electric guitar, cutscenes show him punching a stone devil with his bare first, he gloats in Dracula's face that he can nullify his Curse... yeah, he's a gigachad lol. The flaws are only meant to make him cooler and not "boring", as paragon heroes were seen at the time.

I, personally, never cared about this part. I'm not the target audience for this kind of power fantasy. Sure, I like that Hector is over-the-top cool and I will always joke about his most outlandish feats, but I'm not so keen on reducing him to those alone. I couldn't even explain why avenging your dead lover counts as part of a power fantasy lol.

This is why I latched on so much on the first half of his story, the one where Hector deals with Dracula, and why I insist that Hector is much more than his admittedly cliché archetype of "angry man on a revenge quest".

Calling Hector "stoic" is not even knowing the meaning of the word. Calling pretty much any CV protagonist "stoic" is factually wrong, as even the more serious ones like Alucard and Shanoa have other depths to them (Alucard is still grieving for his mother and we see it in a nightmare, Shanoa was deliberately made stoic and she subtly longs to feel again), but Hector doesn't even begin to fit the definition of "One who is seemingly indifferent to or unaffected by joy, grief, pleasure, or pain". The whole point of CoD is that Hector was left so emotionally vulnerable by his grief that both Isaac and Zead used him as a puppet. Anger is the complete antithesis of stoicism. "well anger is still a toxically masculine emotion" - memes aside, Hector shows other emotions too, most notably around Julia, the only person with which we see how actually gentle and polite he is when he doesn't have Dracula's influence scrambling his brain. By the way, you cannot ignore the effects of the Curse on both Hector and Isaac when you analyze them, especially the former:

It can't be plainer than this.

And it doesn't come out of nowhere, because not only Julia herself tries to warn Hector that Devil Forgemasters are susceptible to the Curse, he acts vulnerable around her. He apologizes for his unjust outbursts, sympathizes with her plight, is visibly affected by her grief when Isaac dies... sure, it might be all because he's lowkey crushing on her, if you want to see it that way (and I do have my words over the plot point of Julia looking like Rosaly: I would have preferred if the game had more time to show that Hector grew to see Julia as her own person beyond her appearance), but the point is that this behavior highly contrasts with how angry and aggressive he is to everyone else, which the reveal of the Curse recontextualizes.

Also, just saying, while anger can be toxic, the point of these storylines is usually precisely that revenge is bad. Unchecked anger is bad for you, and you shouldn't let yourself fall down that spiral, lest you lose yourself. Isaac got consumed by his own hatred and died as a tool; Hector realized in time that he should snap out of it and survives, also because he was nice to Julia and so she grew to care about him and saved him when he tried to kill himself <- a reaction that is very unmasculine, might I add, as toxic masculinity dictates that men should make other people pay for their pain. bro. bro this is the complete antithesis of "toxic masculinity". Again, this is really not knowing the meaning of the word.

I don't even need to pull examples from the manga, but just for completion's sake:

iunno about you chief, but someone who bursts into tears just because wifey told him that she's happy he was born isn't exactly the portrayal of toxic masculinity to me.

Which makes me segue into the next point!

Hector and Isaac are victims of abuse, and this is another very important angle to understand them. And I'm not just talking about their childhoods, of which we only get hints, although of course it does matter that the two experienced so much hatred and rejection in their youth that Dracula was the better option for them.

We don't see the details, but Dracula affected both of them deeply. He put them in a competitive dynamic, favoring Hector over Isaac: Isaac grew bitter with resentment, which made him double down on his loyalty to Dracula, while Hector only got the appreciation he craved at the price of his very humanity and morals, which weighed on him. The point of this favoritism is not really the core of their rivalry in game, as that one was caused by Hector's betrayal, but it gives a different dimension to the character. It would have been easy to have the mistreated guy the one who decided to turn his back to Dracula, but no, it was the golden child. Isaac was so entrenched in this dynamic that he never broke free, choosing instead to blame Hector and do everything in his power to prove himself to an uncaring Lord, including (in the manga) killing his own underlings so that he would be free to face Hector by himself. From PtR:

"My own body is proof of Your expectations for him" is such a hard-hitting line. Isaac fears that he didn't even disappoint his Lord, because his Lord didn't have expectations for him in the first place. It's Hector the one he's so proud of.

And Hector hates it. By all means, he should be happy to have a home, to be respected and appreciated and free to use his powers. And he used to be!

"Lord Dracula... You once accepted and needed my powers. There was a time when such a thing gave me joy..."

Hector was grateful for his Lord, but he couldn't live anymore in the safety of the castle, if the price was committing indiscriminate murder for the sake of a senseless revenge, going against his morals and being used as a weapon. Hector had to make a choice: keep living under Lord Dracula's protection, but losing his humanity piece by piece, or breaking free and facing the world that hated him, but as a free man?

Hector chose freedom over conditional safety and love. He was ready to die, as long as he died a free man. He put himself first, he turned his back against people who did not truly appreciate him, and despite the mess he left behind it was the right decision. And that's the power fantasy I adore, and that is what makes him a strong character in my opinion. It's the embodiment of achieving self-confidence, the healthy selfishness, the affirmation of the self when everyone else around you only sees you as an object or a prize, the reassurance that even if you fall, you can always get up and try again and become a person you can be proud of.

And Hector, after breaking free, very much acts like a victim of abuse. I spent countless words over how he displays the belief that he needs to do something to earn the right to be loved by Rosaly, unaccepting of the fact that she simply does because, well, he likes him and sees the good in him, and that's it. I wrote a whole analysis on how this belief stems from a sad naiveté on how the world works, because Hector is naive underneath the aloof exterior, and it's not something to make fun of him for, but a tragic result of living under Dracula for so long. I'll also point again to him having breakdowns because he hates himself and sees himself as inherently unlovable.

I could also spend all the words about the parallels about how Hector loves Dracula and how he loves Rosaly:

In both cases, he latches onto the only person who has showed him a modicum of kindness. He wants to give his life for them. The difference being, of course, that Dracula only appreciates Hector for what he does (and I could also go into a whole tangent on how Hector was personally raised by Dracula to be his knight and he has a piece of his essence inside him which parallels how abusive parents see their children as an extension of themselves), while Rosaly for who he is. With Dracula, Hector understands that all the shallow care in the world doesn't matter if he isn't also respected as a person: he still cares about him, in some fashion, but not the point of clinging.

And if Hector is ready to lay down his life for Rosaly because she finally showed him what real love looks like, is it any wonder that seeing her die would spark such a fury in him that it makes him prey to the Curse and to being once again twisted into a tool?

The power fantasy comes from the part where Hector breaks free of the abuse and manipulation - twice over. But he is also relatable, with all of his flaws, weaknesses, and mistakes he makes. The whole point of Hector's journey in the first half of his story is that he feels the need to atone for his sins, and the consequences of his actions all catch up to him in the worst of ways. Ignoring this to reduce Hector to an edgelord who only spends his life angry and then hooks up with a Rosaly replacement (which incidentally also ignores Julia's personality and agency and I might even call as misogynist as the plot point itself) is a huge disservice to the thought and care put into him to make him stand out from his own archetype.

Power fantasies are not inherently bad. Depending on the fantasy, they can be inspirational. Hector is inspirational to me, if that wasn't clear, I see part of me in his circumstances and I admire his arc: it tells you, "you can break free too, you have the strength to do so, and you will find people who will love you without reason". And I just generally speaking find him a very well written character despite stemming from a rather outdated context, because all the details come together to make him fleshed out and tridimensional.

[indignantlemur]

Hello lovelies! Who wants a nice, cozy kitchen scene? I'm not back up to snuff, but as part of my physiotherapy I've been encouraged to draw and write and generally give my arm and hand a good work out with all kinds of horrible contortions and exercises. I'm far from at my previous level, and I can't tolerate the kind of shading I preferred before my injury, so for this piece I experimented with a more cell-shading like style this time. I think it turned out alright! A bit rough, sure, but not bad for a first attempt!

I still can't draw a smooth lines without leaning pretty heavily on stabilizers, but I am improving a little more every day. While I'm not completely happy with parts of the overall piece, I think I managed to more or less hit the target!

Detail shot and rambling below the cut, as per usual!

So the main idea behind all of this was a series of slice of life snapshots that felt cozy and comfortable, focusing heavily on the interactions between characters over drama and big scenes. I didn't have a particular location in mind with this one, but I have always thought that Dagmar's Andoria apartment would be conspicuously corporate-bland, the way a lot of common spaces are in Star Trek - and probably the most common examples Andorian architects would draw from without knowing any better.

In the background, we have Dagmar's little notes and reminders, as she's always struck me as the sort of person who uses her fridge like a personal calendar and organizer rather than a showcase for sentimental things.

Transcribed, they read:

[To Do: - Groceries!!! - New books ] [Language Lessons - High Vulcan!!! (<-Email Comm Lorik @ embassy again) - Coridanese - Refresh Klingon - Aenar dialect?] [DRINK WATER - NOT coffee] [Appointment w/ Miraal @ [indecipherable]]

Food in all its varieties has been a big part of Emigre from the very beginning, and I thought in particular that it would be nice to capture a scene with Dagmar and Thelen focused around that point. After all, if Thelen can teach Dagmar the ins and outs of Andorian cooking, why can't Dagmar return the favour?

So, working off of that, I wanted to try for a scene that feels mostly familiar. As much as I wanted to feature familiar objects and tools, owing to Dagmar's past origins and preferences, I also wanted to add little things that are just a tiny bit alien, too. We have the half-drunk drinks of familiar blue ale; the datapad, forgotten, going into screen-saver mode; the cream tarts in unusual shades; and even some odd little fruits that look like cherry tomatoes and come in dull Skittle colours, for example. Then, there's the ulu-style knife just at the edge of the frame. It's an unusual choice over a standard santoku knife or any other perfectly serviceable kitchen knife, but given its resemblance to a ushaan-tor it feels oddly appropriate. Providing my recovery continues to go well, I'm hoping to do a few more cozy scenes, but I can't promise anything just yet!

[fraudulent-cheese]

Opinions on Zoey?

YES. MY BEGGING FOR ASKS WORKED. REJOICE!

Oooh ok Zoey. She's certaintly an interesting case all right. Honestly if i had to make a tier ranking of characters i'd say canon screwed over in it's writing the most, Zoey would be up there; it's set up early on that she's grown up lonely and likely alienated/isolated in her small town due to her interests. Add her judgmental attitude and seemingly finding companionship quite quickly, and you get a recipe for a very interesting character!

Hell i'd even say some of canon's ideas with her character are good, like her whole retro indie girl thingy going on, or her falling in love with a member of a system and accepting that of Mike after she learns about it + Commando Zoey's entire arc are interesting ideas to add to her; the problem really is that most of her screentime during the season is spent revolving around Mike. I'll be real, i haven't watched the second half of roti yet (as most of my focus has gone into both exams + actually trying to write the script for my Pahkitew Island video) but i do know she gets to be on her own along with Cameron for 2 or 3 episodes, and my opinion on her would probably change after i watch them.

I'd say this problem is even worse in All Stars since (from second hand testimony) she's been dumbed wayyyy down for the Mal plotline to actually work. Granted most of my understanding of what's wrong with all stars stems from youtube videos on it + talks about basically all the characters EXCEPT Zoey's. So uh. don't have much to say. Her friendship with Gwen seems pretty fuckin sweet though!

I feel like if you just tweaked some stuff about her story arc in Revenge and threw out basically 80% of her content in All Stars she'd be such a cult classic type character in the fandom; considering what the fandom likes she'd probably never be a fan favorite but she'd 100% have more hardcore fans if they leaned more into the indie girl outdoorsy kind of person and less into her crushing super hard on Mike and the general Love Triangle/Parallel Line bullshit plotline (that and maybe addressed her being judgemental towards her peers so easily. Implied backstory moment???)

In general however i like her! She's an interesting character to analyze or add to, and im happy to see that she's not that hated on tumblr. god i hate the internet for popularising - and especially weaponizing - the term "Mary Sue" for a multitude of reasons but causing people to call literally any female character that's plot relevant and strong while being nice a "Mary Sue" is ABSOLUTELY ONE OF THEM. god she is not one, nor are Sky or Priya copies of her. Or even mostly alike. gosh.

[bedknees]

I see ur kind of back in the eene fandom. Favorite and least favorite headcanons about the Ed's if your feeling up to it?

Lol hi. And yeah I'm here. Arcane has had such a relentless chokehold on my brain for the past year and a half and it's finally loosening it's grip (inb4 inevitable Season 2 promo shit lmao).

HCs for the Eds? Let's goooo-

HCs I like:

Ed

-I like the HC he has ADHD. It fits him well and has direct canon evidence. As an ADHDer, he fits a lot of the basic stereotypes.

-The kinda popular fandom idea that he will be involved in the filming or general crew of B-tier horror movies when he's an adult. Career path is honestly among the most likely. Can also dig him being an Art Bell-esque radio or podcast host of weird conspiracy stuff.

-Love when he's paired with May. I feel that they'd be the only Ed/Kanker combo that'd work imho.

-Even though he's a fun loving character at heart, I like the idea that we see more of that serious and angry side he showed in Little Ed Blue and BPS. Like as he gets older and more seasoned he learns to stand up for himself more. Not his default at all, but learns to put up with less shit.

-I don't see him caring much about gender or sexuality. I don't ever see him labeling himself or thinking much about it, but I also don't see him as fully straight or cis.

-Can see him really being into Astrology and star charts. He probably has an Ancient Aliens phase 😆

Edd

-Like to think he starts taking college classes in his Junior or Senior year of high-school. Probably gets offers from Ivy-League schools, picking not the one he wants to go to the most, but the one that leaves him closest to home.

-I think it was @eddbedandeddy that came up with the idea that he has trichotillomania, where one pulls out clumps of hair as a very maladaptive nervous habit. Love this and I fully support the HC that it's why he wears his hat.

-Dig the idea he goes on to become a doctor of some sort.

-Is a really bad cook. Underseasons and overcooks a LOT. Usually keeps it to cup noodles, sandwiches, or takeout if the responsibility falls on him.

-Definitely has big bi or pan energy.

-Though he can't cook, Edd is very good with gardening and plants in general. Super good at keeping them healthy and cultivating them.

-Mellows out a bit when he gets older. Still a tad neurotic but not a full blown nervous wreck.

Eddy

(So warning: Eddy is my favoritest, most special little guy(TM) so there is a little bias for how many HCs I have for him compared to the others. Sorry lol.)

-It's funny when you think about it, because in terms of Eddy's personality after BPS it's actually pretty nebulous to nail down. Despite being one of the brashest, most outspoken characters he's actually the most mysterious when it comes down to who he truly is. He hid behind a facade for the majority of the show's runtime, after all, so what he truly is like underneath that leaves a lot up to the imagination.

-HOWEVER, I HC Eddy returning to his Season 1 and early Season 2 personality after BPS, with a decent amount of self reflection and maturity tacked on. I think how he acted in Season 1 is the closest to who he really is at the core. A good example of how I see Eddy (as a teenager, at least), is that he would share a lot of traits with Amethyst from Steven Universe, I guess? Closest example I can think of, tbh.

-He's closeted gay kid. Home of sexual. 👬🏳️‍🌈🌈 I used to see him as a bi, but rewatches changed my mind a lot. (Part of it is that he's always been my favorite and I was projecting tbh.) It takes him till his mid-to-late teens to start to accept it.

-Excellent cook. His mom's side is 100% Italian in my personal HC and she and her side bestowed a ton of culinary knowledge on him from old family recipes etc.

-Piggybacking off this, I see Eddy being a line cook for quite a while if not as his staple career. I can also see him doing car sales and bartending and even working at a deli. Bounces around jobs a lot, but always is employed in some way or the other.

-He loves baking and is very good at it. Don't give him shit about it or he will cry in private.

-Eddy is ADHD like Ed, but on the more impulsive and moody side of the large spectrum ADHD consists of. He also is bipolar af.

-Is heavily into music in general, especially as he gets older. He also has a penchant for musicals and Broadway, but he WILL get defensive if you tease him for it. But yeah, music is his biggest hobby and interest by far.

HCs I don't like:

Ed

-That he's too stupid to live. Leave him alone, he's dim but functional.

-The idea he can't function independently from Edd and Eddy. He absolutely can and is his own person!

-When fanfics or works in general make Eddy and Edd act like parents to him. He's their equal 👏

-Anytime he's explicitly third-wheeled when Edd and Eddy are paired. You absolutely can write the former two paired up without excluding him.

Edd

-When the fandom makes him an uwu softboy. Stfu. He's a little asshole with a smart mouth and a truckload of sass. Erasing that makes him so BORING 😴

-The HC that he will 'outgrow' Eddy and Ed and move on from them. He's right where he belongs and they complete each other. Stop.

Eddy

-Where do I begin? Firstly, him acting the same exact way as he does in the show after what happened in BPS. The entire movie was explicitly about Eddy becoming a better person and learning his lesson. At least show some growth.

-Him becoming an even more ruthless and corrupt scammer as an adult. Paired with the above point, but still.

-Any HCs that he's heterosexual 🤢

-MAKING HIM TALL.

-Fanart that makes him skinny.

I could go on but those are the main ones. Ty anon!

[gerogerigaogaigar]

David Bowie - Low

This was the first of Bowie's Berlin trilogy where he worked with Brian Eno. Influenced by krautrock bands and Eno's own ambient experimentation it is drastically different from anything he'd done before. The first few tracks recall some of the angular rock that was on Station To Station, but the entire latter half of the album is populated by spacey, ambient electronic explorations. The album basically becomes less and less rock and more ambient as it goes on. By the end Subterraneans is just an ambient track. Flickers of ideas pop up and fade away as songs evolve within their musical motifs. It's probably Bowie's artsiest album.

Cat Stevens - Tea For The Tillerman

I think I like Yusuf/Cat Stevens just fine. His music is good? I'm certain. I dunno it just doesn't do much for me. I can't really identify why. I like a lot of other artists like him so why shouldn't this album be up there with Neil Young or Harry Chapin? Oh well I'm indifferent to Cat Stevens.

Kanye West - Graduation

https://youtu.be/wvgehVhF9D4

https://youtu.be/e7e5BFJa-Ug

After two game changing albums Graduation is absolutely a victory lap. Ye seems content to prove that he could do this as much as he wants and we are just not gonna get sick of it. He's right. Graduation mainly continues what Kanye was doing on his previous two albums, beautiful lush beats with soul samples and strings. That isn't to say that he doesn't innovate on Graduation, in fact the best tracks feature significant electronic influence most notably Stronger and Flashing Lights. In the end we know where the story goes and Ye would not continue on this way, but the bleakness of 808s And Heartbreak only makes Graduation an even more triumphant finale to the trilogy of albums that marks phase one of Kanye West's career.

Nick Drake - Pink Moon

Nick Drake is kind of a hidden gem among the late 60s folk rock scene. Hipsters love him on account of how he died young and is obscure, but he never hit the mainstream. Drake's delicate airy voice is the aural equivalent of autumn leaves blowing in a gentle wind. He is the sound that old trees make in the winter. And if his previous records with their lush but haunting string arrangements didn't take him into the public eye then Pink Moon definitely wasn't going to. Stripped down to nothing but Nick Drake's voice and guitar Pink Moon is an album that sound like it might fall apart if you so much as breath on it. Gentle arpeggios make up the instrumentation and they are carried by Drake's unique sense of melody that is equal parts folk rock and tin pan alley. The album is stark, stripped down, and speaks of alienation and fear at every turn. It's one of the most beautiful and personal albums of all time and, despite what reviewers at the time of its release said, it's actually quite inviting as long as you meet it on its own terms.

Björk - Homogenic

Every step in Björk's career is a step towards further weirdness. Homogenic is a defining album in her career as it establishes the point of no return for her experimentation. The trip hop from Post is leaned into harder, but with more strings and crunchier drums. The drums have been fine tuned into a bit crushed nightmare and the cold string and distant vocals make the album feel apocalyptic. Björk albums are, as a rule, bizarre and unsettling but Homogenic manages a cold powerful dispassionate energy unlike any of her other work.

A Tribe Called Quest - Midnight Marauders

The first three albums by A Tribe Called Quest form a sort of stylistic trilogy. Midnight Marauders is the final piece of the trilogy and incorporates bits of both previous records. It's a little looser than Low End Theory and a little tighter than People's Instinctive Travels and I actually think that hurts it a bit. It doesn't manage the jazzy cohesiveness of the former or the free spirited just vibing attitude of the latter. Now being the weakest of the first three is kinda nothing, Midnight Marauders is a nine instead of a ten boohoo. But I might not put it on a top 500 albums list. Either way it's still a fantastic record with that unique A Tribe Called Quest sound, jazzy but not in a new jack swing way. They just kinda bop around dealing with serious and lighthearted stuff alike in a casual conversational style of rapping.

Sade - Diamond Life

Sade Adu manages to ride such a fine line on her debuted record. She manages to have the best of both the soul and sophistipop with neither of their downfalls. She is suave and sexy with a cool attitude but always avoids the bourgeois pretention of most sophistipop. She can manage lengthy love songs without the occasional tedium of 80s soul artists. She's somehow extremely catchy while also being low key. She manages these sweet bass grooves without it feeling like it's going to become funk or hip hop. She brings everything into her wheelhouse. It's an impressive piece of artistry. A singular vision recognized.

Pavement - Slanted And Enchanted

Slanted And Enchanted is a fantastic album. The second best of Pavement's output. I support this album being in the list but strongly oppose it being rated higher than Crooked Rain, Crooked Rain. Slanted And Enchanted is the most straightforward Pavement album. It has the quintessential 90s indie sound and it shows in a lot of their contemporaries work. Kind of wistful, thoroughly modern but with one foot in the garage rock of the 60s. Pavement really nail a sound that is exactly one step removed from the mainstream alt rock.

[halothenthehorns]

Chapter 13: I TAKE A PERMANENT VACATION

Merry Christmas to all who celebrate it! This is a depressing freaking chapter to infuse the holiday with, lol.

For everyone else, I hope you enjoy your day and your life and your year and the hour you spend reading my insanity!

PJOPJOPJOPJO

Nico read the new chapter title with a sense of ill. The idea of running across Percy's ghost had come to him plenty in the darkest parts of that maze, he'd been convinced for months at a time those would be his only friends. The one who had gotten Bianca killed had himself died in his own Greek tragedy of trying to come after him and becoming lost in a place Nico was slowly conquering, but Nico would find his wandering spirit and nurse him back enough to guide him to where he needed to go.

The idea that Percy might have died in this volcanic eruption and he didn't even get a hint of knowing that disturbed him slightly less than his old creepy thoughts about how his part in this would end, so he tried to read like it was any other.

"Oh hell," Magnus yelped. "Are we finally going to get an explanation for how you wound up down here? Are you permanently sleeping with the fishes? Did someone," he cut his finger across his throat with sound and everything.

"I don't think I'm actually dead," Percy studied his still trembling hands with uncertainty though, patting absently at his shirt and pants too to make sure it was real.

"And it wouldn't explain the rest of the books?" but Jason's sounded more like stacked questions, because really none of this made to much sense given they had no answers to start with outside of a gods will.

"As far as I'm aware, you are not actually dead," Thalia managed casually enough, but she dreaded this chapter more than anyone. Calypso was not a myth she'd ever dealt with personally, and she knew all she'd be hearing while Nico read was Annabeth's desperate voice through their connection begging her to help find an answer other than the obvious. She'd been prepared to go down to Tartarus and drag his soul back to get that look out of her little sister's eyes.

I woke up feeling like I was still on fire. My skin stung. My throat felt as dry as sand.

"The fact that you still have feeling is the impressive part after being a literal comet," Will told him with a kind of critical, stern tone like he thought Percy was still tempted to try again.

"The kind that only comes around in one lifetime," Percy assured.

"Hopefully they don't name anything after it, or worse, you get some kind of crazy superpowers from it," Alex offered.

"Or worse, aliens." Magnus agreed.

"Why would there be an alien free riding on my comet?" Percy asked.

"I don't know, just seems like every sci-fi movie comes with aliens masquerading as comets," he shrugged.

"My life is weird enough without adding bad costumes and CGI," Percy sighed.

I saw blue sky and trees above me. I heard a fountain gurgling, and smelled juniper and cedar and a bunch of other sweet-scented plants. I heard waves, too, gently lapping on a rocky shore. I wondered if I was dead, but I knew better. I'd been to the Land of the Dead, and there was no blue sky.

"The fact that that is a more normal sentence than you, a child of the sea, not waking up on the beach more regularly, really says something about your life," Magnus couldn't help but inform Percy.

"Who would want to wake up with a sunburn every day?" Percy shrugged. "Plus, that sand really does get everywhere. Nah, I'm good."

Apparently only normal people, Magnus sighed as he answered himself.

I tried to sit up. My muscles felt like they were melting.

"I hear to much exercise will do that to you," Will said wisely.

"And here I thought the more obvious punchline was global warming. We must save the planet, think of the Percy," Nico snickered.

"You're all missing the obvious joke that Percy is clearly an evil green witch in disguise," Thalia chuckled.

"I was just half cooked alive like a lobster, can't I get a pass on all this?" Percy smiled knowing the answer.

"No," they all laughed.

"Stay still," a girl's voice said. "You're too weak to rise."

She laid a cool cloth across my forehead. A bronze spoon hovered over me and liquid was dribbled into my mouth. The drink soothed my throat and left a warm chocolaty aftertaste. Nectar of the gods. Then the girl's face appeared above me.

She had almond eyes and caramel-color hair braided over one shoulder.

She was...fifteen? Sixteen? It was hard to tell. She had one of those faces that just seemed timeless. She began singing, and my pain dissolved. She was working magic. I could feel her music sinking into my skin, healing and repairing my brain.

"Who?" I croaked.

"Shhh, brave one," she said. "Rest and heal. No harm will come to you here. I am Calypso."

"It's nice she came out front with her name," Magnus said. "But huh?"

"If they start by introducing themselves, they're probably going to be very powerful and more fun to defeat," Alex rubbed his hands together in excitement.

"I already feared for my life enough without that, but thanks," Percy sighed.

The next time I woke I was in a cave, but as far as caves go, I'd been in a lot worse.

"I mean, compared to the cyclops cave where Grover was being held hostage, a bear cave sounds like a vacation too," Jason nodded.

"Does the underworld count as a giant cave?" Magnus asked.

"Um, yes?" Nico admitted.

"We did not go into a cave on your last adventure, but you've been mostly underground in this one to make up for it, so I'd say you are a credible enough person to judge this," Thalia nodded sanctimoniously.

Yet in all this talk, Percy's empty hand tingled as if Annabeth had brushed against him, wanting to lock her fingers through his. She had a habit of holding his hand in places like this, but she sure wouldn't be this time, some part of him knew.

The ceiling glittered with different-color crystal formations— white and purple and green, like I was inside one of those cut geodes you see in souvenir shops. I was lying on a comfortable bed with feather pillows and cotton sheets. The cave was divided into sections by white silk curtains.

Against one wall stood a large loom and a harp. Against the other wall were shelves neatly stacked with jars of fruit preserves. Dried herbs hung from the ceiling: rosemary, thyme, and a bunch of other stuff. My mother could've named them all.

"You haven't said anything about Sally being into gardening," Nico said in surprise, though he well remembered that flower box he'd once appeared next to.

"She knows them from cooking, not much of a hobby she can keep up with in the middle of the city to grow her own," Percy said with a wistful kind of smile. He wanted that for his mom. He bet Poseidon would have granted her a whole biome of nature if she asked. Just tap on the bathroom door three times or something, and poof, a hidden world she'd love to be part of.

There was a fireplace built into the cave wall, and a pot bubbling over the flames. It smelled great, like beef stew.

I sat up, trying to ignore the throbbing pain in my head. I looked at my arms, sure that they would be hideously scarred, but they seemed fine. A little pinker than usual, but not bad. I was wearing a white cotton T-shirt and cotton drawstring pants that weren't mine. My feet were bare. In a moment of panic, I wondered what happened to Riptide, but I felt my pocket and there was my pen, right where it always reappeared.

"I'm starting to wonder if there's even a limit on what that pen won't come back from," Jason looked more than impressed while he had that critical look on his face again. "If you threw it into outer space would it still come back?"

"I don't currently have any friends with a rocket ship to test that theory, but I'll let you know," Percy shrugged, holding his pen tight to him now just in case Jason wanted to try for himself.

Not only that but the Stygian ice dog whistle was back in my pocket, too. Somehow it had followed me. And that didn't exactly reassure me.

"Yeah, me either," Alex heaved a great sigh of remorse, and he really wanted Quintus and his dog to be a good guy. "Maybe he's trying to be like Chiron, he came across as a creepy stalker at first too."

"Hopefully," Percy wouldn't turn down another cool mentor who gave him good advice and cool gifts, but he was still too suspicious to really hope it would work out.

With difficulty, I stood. The stone floor was freezing under my feet. I turned and found myself staring into a polished bronze mirror.

"Holy Poseidon," I muttered. I looked as if I'd lost twenty pounds I couldn't afford to lose. My hair was a rat's nest. It was singed at the edges like Hephaestus's beard. If I saw that face on somebody walking down a highway intersection asking for money, I would've locked the car doors.

"Percy, you don't have a car," Nico told him.

"My mom's car doors just doesn't give the same ring to it," Percy rolled his eyes, fighting the urge, and losing it to sag in his seat with remembered exhaustion. Thalia was looking like an awfully comfortable prop right now.

Magnus kept his lips tight shut about that. He never spent much time looking in a mirror for a few years now, but he was pretty sure he'd looked that bad before Hearth and Blitz found him.

I turned away from the mirror. The cave entrance was to my left. I headed toward the daylight.

The cave opened onto a green meadow. On the left was a grove of cedar trees and on the right a huge flower garden. Four fountains gurgled in the meadow, each shooting water from the pipes of stone satyrs. Straight ahead, the grass sloped down to a rocky beach. The waves of a lake lapped against the stones. I could tell it was a lake because...well, I just could. Fresh water. Not salt. The sun sparkled on the water, and the sky was pure blue. It seemed like a paradise, which immediately made me nervous. You deal with mythological stuff for a few years, you learn that paradises are usually places where you get killed.

"Are you telling me I'm most likely to die at a Pottery Barn?" Alex demanded.

"Paradise probably isn't even subjective enough to argue," Thalia agreed with a sigh. "We half-bloods can die somewhere like a dog park or a freaking mall."

"The only paradise we have is places where monsters aren't, and then we inevitably attract them to that place," Jason frowned. "What kind of paradox is that called?"

"Shit, does that make this place a utopia?" Magnus groaned.

"Well this is just getting more depressing the longer it drags on," Nico reminded, and he wasn't even the one causing it. He kept reading loudly and decided he'd blame the book, and Percy's life, rather than himself on the continued trend.

The girl with the braided caramel hair, the one who'd called herself Calypso, was standing at the beach, talking to someone. I couldn't see him very well in the shimmer from the sunlight off the water, but they appeared to be arguing.

"I really don't think it's just a joke when I say Percy attracts fights everywhere he goes, even to a tropical paradise," Will shook his head in exhaustion.

"Task failed successfully," Percy hoped. "They can keep that up while I escape I'm sure." He hadn't felt trapped though, he vividly remembered that. His feelings of this island were more dreamlike than any memory yet given back. Like that old apartment he used to live in with his mom, maybe the few short years before Gabe had come along. A home he could never go back to, but some part of him would always want to.

I tried to remember what I knew about Calypso from the old myths. I'd heard the name before, but...I couldn't remember. Was she a monster? Did she trap heroes and kill them? But if she was evil, why was I still alive?

"All excellent questions," Jason sighed.

"Percy will get answers to all of them as he's running for his life I'm sure," Alex offered, which made nobody feel better.

I walked toward her slowly because my legs were still stiff. When the grass changed to gravel, I looked down to keep my balance, and when I looked up again, the girl was alone. She wore a white sleeveless Greek dress with a low circular neckline trimmed in gold. She brushed at her eyes like she'd been crying.

"Well," she said, trying for a smile, "the sleeper finally wakes."

"If he's Sleeping Beauty, does that make Annabeth Prince Charming?" Magnus snorted.

"Percy sleeps enough to fulfill the role," Thalia chuckled with amusement, "and Annabeth would rock a horse and sword if she needed to."

"I would rather get to the monster killing me part than indulge this further," Percy groaned, or he was going to be suffering kiss of life jokes and endless Halloween costume ideas for days.

"Who were you talking to?" My voice sounded like a frog that had spent time in a microwave.

"What a noble frog, putting up with that to be such a comparison to you," there was nothing but dread in Nico's voice though as he tried not to wonder how Percy knew that.

"Science lab got weird during the dissection class, you don't want to know," Percy shivered.

"Oh...just a messenger," she said.

Will snorted softly, though he felt bad he was the only one who got the joke. Nobody else read that deep into it.

"How do you feel?"

"How long have I been out?"

"Time," Calypso mused. "Time is always difficult here. I honestly don't know, Percy."

"You know my name?"

"Not a shock anymore," Magnus grudgingly admitted. He wished it still were, but the days of Medusa creeping him out for a multitude of reasons were in the past, and that one had never even been able to rank to high considering everything else.

"You talk in your sleep."

I blushed. "Yeah. I've been...uh, told that before."

"How nobody's ever tried to smother you for that I will never know," Thalia said with her own mystified face. The few times she'd slept around Percy, they'd been out in the open taking turns keeping watch for each other, so she'd never had to actually try and fall asleep to his nonsense.

"Yes. Who is Annabeth?"

"Oh, uh.

Percy's brain fried and short circuited in his head like another volcano had gone off. He would be more surprised if steam wasn't coming out of his ears. It would take him less time to say who Annabeth wasn't...

A friend.

He exhaled in relief at how well that summed it up, glad he'd been to tired back then to even try and articulate anything else as his lips still felt more prominent on his face than they ever had before.

We were together when—wait, how did I get here? Where am I?"

Calypso reached up and ran her fingers through my mangled hair. I stepped back nervously.

"I'm sorry," she said. "I've just grown used to caring for you.

The others were oddly quiet, clearly trying to judge for themselves how much they believed her sincerity. She'd had ample opportunity to hurt Percy true, but for all they knew she was just lulling him there and keeping him from getting back to full strength until Luke showed up. She could be slowly sucking the life out of him. There was just no telling what motive could be going on or who she was arguing with until it was to late.

As to how you got here, you fell from the sky. You landed in the water, just there." She pointed across the beach. "I do not know how you survived. The water seemed to cushion your fall. As to where you are, you are in Ogygia."

She pronounced it like oh-jee-jee-ah.

"Was the second jee really necessary?" Magnus huffed. "It feels like they're just being extra."

"No noun should be more than two syllables, it's just exhausting," Percy agreed.

"Your name is three," Thalia looked at him strangely.

"And I stand by what I said," Percy nodded.

"Is that near Mount St. Helens?" I asked, because my geography is pretty terrible.

"Sure Percy, it might be if you travel back in time or something," Will chuckled.

"Maybe I'll find them constructing the Statue of Liberty next door," Percy smirked.

Calypso laughed. It was a small restrained laugh, like she found me really funny but didn't want to embarrass me. She was cute when she laughed.

Percy felt a dull sense of dread thud in his chest, but again, it wasn't vicious. He didn't feel like ripping his heart out in fear it was attacking him. Just an aching feeling, a muscle he'd long since stopped using.

He watched as six pairs of eyebrows shut up around him now with a vague amusement as well. Magnus and Alex seemed immediately suspicious and weary what kind of spell he was being put under, whether he realized it or not. Jason and Thalia looked amused, like they were thinking how best to tell Annabeth about this for maximum teasing.

Will and Nico exchanged weary looks though. Not the, 'Oh Gods, Percy's about to die kind,' but the sort where they weren't sure if they wanted to know the outcome of this. Percy didn't talk about his time out there, and while it was interesting to get some first hand lore on this place, it was coming at a pretty personal cost to Percy.

Nico read swiftly, he didn't want to linger on this.

"It isn't near anything, brave one," she said. "Ogygia is my phantom island. It exists by itself, anywhere and nowhere.

"I wonder if there are other islands out there that can do a bit of both." Alex grinned. "You really didn't explore the Sea of Monsters enough to be sure there's not an island out there that's sometimes there and sometimes not."

"If I find a haunted ghost island that only appears during high tide, I'll call you," Percy promised. Mostly so he could blame Alex for its existence.

You can heal here in safety. Never fear."

"It's not himself he's afraid for," Jason muttered.

Percy heard, and grinned at him. It was a good feeling for at least a moment, to know your friends knew you so well.

"But my friends—"

"Annabeth," she said. "And Grover and Tyson?"

"Yes!" I said. "I have to get back to them. They're in danger."

She touched my face, and I didn't back away this time. "Rest first. You are no good to your friends until you heal."

As soon as she said it, I realized how tired I was.

Magnus still shivered with distaste as he waited for the shoe to drop. That this vacation was just another Hotel, and Percy was soon going to start forgetting everything that mattered to himself except this girl who he had no choice but to fall in love with because she told him that's what he needed to do, or maybe he'd start seeing puncture marks on his neck and this was another kind of vampire, like a subspecies of Kelli.

"You're not...you're not an evil sorceress, are you?"

She smiled coyly. "Why would you think that?"

"Well, I met Circe once, and she had a pretty nice island, too. Except she liked to turn men into guinea pigs."

"A sad fact that is such a major exception," Alex sighed.

"There's no such thing as the perfect utopia," Thalia agreed.

Calypso gave me that laugh again. "I promise I will not turn you into a guinea pig."

"Or anything else?"

"I am no evil sorceress," Calypso said. "And I am not your enemy, brave one. Now rest. Your eyes are already closing."

She was right. My knees buckled, and I would've landed face-first in the gravel if Calypso hadn't caught me. Her hair smelled like cinnamon. She was very strong, or maybe I was just really weak and thin. She walked me back to a cushioned bench by the fountain and helped me lie down.

"Rest," she ordered. And I fell asleep to the sound of the fountains and the smell of cinnamon and juniper.

Percy shivered. The kind of ghost breathing on his neck feeling. Because there was no sense of danger in him. And it was creeping him out.

Where was the adrenaline? Where was the fear and worry? Where was that sense that had guided him through all his past memories of what to trust and to know when he should be about to run?

He kept wanting to watch Thalia for some kind of hint he was missing something, but she seemed as somber over there as he felt. Like a long lost friend had died.

The next time I woke it was night, but I wasn't sure if it was the same night or many nights later. I was in the bed in the cave, but I rose and wrapped a robe around myself and padded outside. The stars were brilliant—thousands of them, like you only see way out in the country. I could make out all the constellations Annabeth had taught me: Capricorn, Pegasus, Sagittarius. And there, near the southern horizon, was a new constellation: the Huntress, a tribute to a friend of ours who had died last winter.

Nico did not like himself for the distaste he had of those words... Why didn't Bianca get a whole constellation? It was Zoe's choice to go on this quest and be slated for death the moment she heard that prophecy, and his sister went in almost blind...

But Thalia was making some stupid joke at Percy about never seeming to find his own constellation and his sister probably would have been over there laughing with them without batting an eye at that passage. She probably would have smiled for her lieutenant.

"Percy, what do you see?"

I brought my eyes back to earth. However amazing the stars were, Calypso was twice as brilliant.

Percy had always wished Annabeth here from the moment he'd opened his eyes. He still did now, to know she was safe and away from volcanoes he'd exploded. He wanted to hear her explain to him already who Calypso was fully.

Most of all, he wanted to watch how she'd be reacting to this. If she was rolling her eyes at him, or jealous, or hurt, or uncaring at all.

He found himself watching Thalia, his best friend in here to figure out the same, but she seemed to be avoiding his eyes as she played with her bracelet. He didn't know what thoughts were plaguing her, and a part of him wondered if it had something to do with why Annabeth wasn't here and what she might know about that.

Or was it something simpler and she already knew the choice he felt stretching ahead of him?

I mean, I've seen the goddess of love herself, Aphrodite, and I would never say this out loud or she'd blast me to ashes, but for my money, Calypso was a lot more beautiful,

Nico winced and looked very much like someone was about to blast him to ashes just for saying that sentence. It would be just his luck to get obliterated into nothing because he'd said what Percy once thought and got away with.

There was a dramatic pause as everybody waited for it to happen, and when nothing did, Nico kept reading with an odd smile on his face like he got away with something.

because she just seemed so natural, like she wasn't trying to be beautiful and didn't even care about that. She just was.

Annabeth's like that too, Percy realized in surprise. Unlike Kelli, who was a terrifying kind of beautiful in her natural way of looking like Aphrodite actually did have a kid with Hephaestus, Annabeth always brushed her hair up into a careless ponytail and had dirt on her at any given time and didn't realize her own allure. The one time he'd seen her in a dress it had shocked him stupid. He was rather glad looking back he'd been a guina pig for that, it made it seem lesser, more like a dream than real memory of how alien perfect she'd been.

With her braided hair and white dress, she seemed to glow in the moonlight. She was holding a tiny plant in her hands. Its flowers were silver and delicate.

"I was just looking at..." I found myself staring at her face. "Uh...I forgot."

Nico heard some of them laughing around him, but it still sounded nervous, they were still waiting for her to sprout into a monster or reveal the 'gotcha' or something. Even knowing that wasn't the case, Nico and Will exchanged a tired look. The usual flippant, enjoyable energy just wasn't getting up in this chapter as they felt how confining this moment in Percy's life was. It didn't feel right to mock him when Percy looked isolated with his confusion over there.

She laughed gently. "Well, as long as you're up, you can help me plant these."

She handed me a plant, which had a clump of dirt and roots at the base.

The flowers glowed as I held them. Calypso picked up her gardening spade and directed me to the edge of the garden, where she began to dig.

"That's moonlace," Calypso explained. "It can only be planted at night."

I watched the silvery light flicker around the petals. "What does it do?"

"Do?" Calypso mused. "It doesn't really do anything, I suppose. It lives, it gives light, it provides beauty. Does it have to do anything else?"

"I suppose not," I said.

"Sounds to me like it's doing plenty," Alex agreed. Not every plant had to poison or cure something, nourish or indue. Things just existed without a purpose, which was their purpose.

She took the plant, and our hands met. Her fingers were warm. She planted the moonlace and stepped back, surveying her work. "I love my garden."

"This is a very odd evil plan," Magnus found himself scratching his head the longer this dragged on. "Is she trying to turn you vegan? Is her ultimate goal to use you as fertilizer?"

"Grover might not bother to rescue me if so," but Percy's smile was lackluster at best. He was growing less convinced by the word this was some trap at all, but this was a Greek legend, he knew that much. He was still waiting for the bad part to show up.

"It's awesome," I agreed. I mean, I wasn't exactly a gardening type, but Calypso had arbors covered with six different colors of roses, lattices filled with honeysuckle, rows of grapevines bursting with red and purple grapes that would've made Dionysus sit up and beg.

"Ah, I see," Jason theatrically clapped his forehead. "They caught the wrong demigod. This is supposed to be a trap for a child of Ceres."

"You've been eating there, haven't you?" Magnus confirmed. "Is this like an underworld situation? You're imprisoned forever because you ate from this awesome place?"

Percy pressed his lips together as that sense of longing only grew. He couldn't find in himself to play along. Imprisoned. Maybe it wasn't him who was on the permanent vacation really.

"Back home," I said, "my mom always wanted a garden."

"Why did she not plant one?"

"Well, we live in Manhattan. In an apartment."

"Manhattan? Apartment?"

"Oh, well, maybe she's not evil after all," Will chuckled. "It's common knowledge all people who are associated with big cities are evil. Clearly, having never even heard of the concept, she's immune to this. Purely innocent and good in her hide-a-way pasture."

"Aren't most horror movies out in the boons where nobody can hear them scream?" Nico asked. Quite a few kids asked if he was born out there enough to make him look up what they were getting at.

Will opened, and closed his mouth with a laugh instead of answering.

I stared at her. "You don't know what I'm talking about, do you?"

"I fear not. I haven't left Ogygia in...a long time."

"Well, Manhattan's a big city, with not much gardening space."

Calypso frowned. "That is sad. Hermes visits from time to time. He tells me the world outside has changed greatly. I did not realize it had changed so much you cannot have gardens."

"Why haven't you left your island?"

She looked down. "It is my punishment."

"You know Percy, I'm starting to suspect your luck is bad enough to get roped into somebody else's bad luck," Jason admitted. Nothing bad had happened yet, and judging by his silence over there and nobody nearly dying, he was beginning to suspect this wasn't going to be that kind of chapter.

"As long as she doesn't take her punishment out on me," Percy's heart was doing an odd beat in his chest. A thudding, painful number that hurt to concentrate on. Calypso, her name kept swimming around his mind like a piranha that was well fed but shouldn't be ignored. There was just something about her that had nothing and everything to do with Annabeth he was missing.

"Why? What did you do?"

"A classic Percy," Thalia sighed. "A classic boy. Blunt as an arrow to the face."

"I've never used a boxing glove arrow," Percy grinned.

"I? Nothing. But I'm afraid my father did a great deal. His name is Atlas."

"How many kids did this guy have?" Magnus asked in surprise.

"That's like asking how many kids Zeus had. You're just happier not trying to count them all," Thalia sighed.

The name sent a shiver down my back. I'd met the Titan Atlas last winter, and it had not been a happy time. He'd tried to kill pretty much everyone I care about.

"I mean, that's most evil people you meet," Nico said fairly. "I don't know what happy times involves trying to kill people."

"Maybe if Calypso had been there instead of Zoe things would have gone better," Alex snorted. "Girl should have opted a jailbreak for her half sister before the quest."

"I don't think there was really time for that," Thalia reminded with a strained smile. She didn't think it inherently insensitive to laugh about Zoe's past decisions, gods knew she'd done enough of that herself, but it wasn't a topic she wanted to continue to discuss either.

"Still," I said hesitantly, "it's not fair to punish you for what your father's done. I knew another daughter of Atlas. Her name was Zoë. She was one of the bravest people I've ever met."

Calypso studied me for a long time. Her eyes were sad.

"What is it?" I asked.

"Are—are you healed yet, my brave one? Do you think you'll be ready to leave soon?"

"What? I asked. "I don't know." I moved my legs. They were still stiff. I was already getting dizzy from standing up so long.

The fact that he could stand up for any length of time and wasn't sprinting and threatening to get out of there still gnawed at something in Percy. Something about this place, this girl. He wanted to help her, to stay, and it was nothing evil or magical making him. Just Calypso was enough.

"You want me to go?"

"I..." Her voice broke. "I'll see you in the morning. Sleep well."

She ran off toward the beach. I was too confused to do anything but watch until she disappeared in the dark.

"No, that's a classic Percy," Jason couldn't comprehend how Percy hadn't interrogated this girl to know everything about what was going on by now. He was the dopiest, deadliest guy Jason had ever met, and he was quite positive of this fact not even remembering anyone outside this room.

I don't know exactly how much time passed. Like Calypso said, it was hard to keep track on the island. I knew I should be leaving. At the very least, my friends would be worried. At worst, they could be in serious danger. I didn't even know if Annabeth had made it out of the volcano. I tried to use my empathy link with Grover several times, but I couldn't make contact. I hated not knowing if they were all right.

On the other hand, I really was weak. I couldn't stay on my feet more than a few hours. Whatever I'd done in Mount St. Helens had drained me like nothing else I'd ever expected.

Nico could hardly believe the words out of his own mouth. If he hadn't already been struck repeatedly in here that Percy wasn't the guy he'd dreamed he was, this more than anything put the final nail in the coffin. Percy had the motivation to go home, he'd always done everything up to this point by his driving factor being to help others.

He just, was choosing not to this time. It wasn't even a big heroic sacrifice, he had no idea of Calypso's curse yet. He was just, hesitating, and Nico found himself fascinated what had made Percy leave. Had he been unable to put down the mantel of the hero? Had it been Annabeth?

I didn't feel like a prisoner or anything. I remembered the Lotus Hotel and Casino in Vegas, where I'd been lured into this amazing game world until I almost forgot everything I cared about. But the island of Ogygia wasn't like that at all. I thought about Annabeth, Grover, and Tyson constantly. I remembered exactly why I needed to leave. I just...couldn't.

And then there was Calypso herself.

She never talked much about herself, but that just made me want to know more. I would sit in the meadow, sipping nectar, and I would try to concentrate on the flowers or the clouds or the reflections on the lake, but I was really staring at Calypso as she worked, the way she brushed her hair over her shoulder, and the little strand that fell in her face whenever she knelt to dig in the garden. Sometimes she would hold out her hand and birds would fly out of the woods to settle on her arm—lorikeets, parrots, doves.

"You fell into a fairy tell land my friend," Magnus told him. "I bet she turns into an ogre, or a dragon or something once you decided to stay."

Magnus wasn't really kidding, but Percy laughed like he was anyways. That didn't feel like the right answer either. Nothing had felt like the right thing to do since he'd blown up that volcano.

She would tell them good morning, ask how it was going back at the nest, and they would chirp for a while, then fly off cheerfully. Calypso's eyes gleamed. She would look at me and we'd share a smile, but almost immediately she'd get that sad expression again and turn away. I didn't understand what was bothering her.

"She's using reverse psychology on you and makes you think she wants you to leave while really wanting you to stay," Alex joined in.

Percy blinked at him. Something in there finally did feel like an answer, but twisted. She was no manipulator, he knew that, felt that in his memory like his instinctive trust of Thalia.

One night we were eating dinner together at the beach. Invisible servants had set up a table with beef stew and apple cider,

"Is that all she had to eat there? Is that the secret torture?" Will frowned. "Also, where does the cow part come from?"

"She's making those special veggies that taste like beef," Nico snickered.

"Maybe Hermes delivers her yearly rations she can't grow, like toilet paper," Thalia smirked.

which may not sound all that exciting, but that's because you haven't tasted it. I hadn't even noticed the invisible servants when I first got to the island, but after a while I became aware of the beds making themselves, meals cooking on their own, clothes being washed and folded by unseen hands.

Magnus threw his hands up in exasperation. "This is officially the best vacation ever. Can I blow up a volcano too Percy?"

"Not without following the proper steps by sitting through a sex ed class, being chased by Telkehines, and nearly dying." Percy shrugged.

"Geez, I might still consider it," Magnus huffed at this luxury.

Anyway, Calypso and I were sitting at dinner, and she looked beautiful in the candlelight.

"If you mention how pretty this girl is one more time, I might have to revoke your crush on Annabeth," Jason snorted.

Percy brushed at his gray bangs, his stomach in knots. He wished he had some snippy rebuttal for that, but he was disturbingly silent.

"People can have a crush on more than one person Jason, broaden your mind," Alex finally chuckled into the awkward silence.

Thalia was studying her best friend with those electric blue eyes. She'd been really relieved to see him at the beginning, like he'd been missing for a long time. Is this where he'd been? Was she angry with him having taken to long to come back?

I was telling her about New York and Camp Half-Blood, and then I started telling her about the time Grover had eaten an apple while we were playing Hacky Sack with it. She laughed, showing off her amazing smile, and our eyes met. Then she dropped her gaze.

She was scared, Percy tried to put into words that expression, but that didn't quite fit right. She wasn't telling him something about this place, and if he could not resist one kind of torture, it was temptation.

"There it is again," I said.

"What?"

"You keep pulling away, like you're trying not to enjoy yourself."

"You probably scared her with that story Percy," Magnus rolled his eyes. "I might still have nightmares about Grover using a mega-goat bite on me if was drinking apple cider."

"I don't think she could have nightmares on that island," Percy frowned. He certainly hadn't been having any. The more he thought about it, the more he realized it was oddly similar to their current prison. Invisible servants, all the food one could eat, the company was mostly tolerable when they weren't annoying. He still missed Annabeth, his mom, Grover and everyone like a physical ache, but there was nothing stopping him from refusing to relearn his memories, hide in a room and stay here forever. The idea was just loathsome if he thought about it for more than a second.

It hadn't been there though. There had been something about Calypso, the constant rest he got. The problem with staying on vacation for to long was that it made going back seem harder than it had before.

She kept her eyes on her glass of cider. "As I told you, Percy, I have been punished. Cursed, you might say."

"How? Tell me. I want to help."

"Don't say that. Please don't say that."

"Tell me what the punishment is."

He wanted to help her, Percy finally realized the obvious. Once he found out how to help break her curse, he could leave with a clear conscience. Of course, it seemed obvious now. This place probably played exactly into one's fatal flaw. He might have just met her, but he could have been life long friends with someone like Calypso.

She covered her half-finished stew with a napkin, and immediately an invisible servant whisked the bowl away. "Percy, this island, Ogygia, is my home, my birthplace. But it is also my prison. I am under...house arrest, I guess you would call it. I will never visit this Manhattan of yours. Or anywhere else. I am alone here."

"Doesn't sound like much of a punishment," Alex muttered. He preferred being alone, all people did was disappoint and judge you.

"Maybe for one lifetime, but all of them?" Magnus frowned. He never would have made it on the streets without Hearth and Blitz. He missed the boy he used to play with who always stopped running too fast when he had to grab his inhaler. He missed being in the back of a class reading and ignoring the teacher until he had his book taken away and then begrudgingly laughing and playing a game of tic tac toe with a random kid in detention. Maybe he'd learn why they were there, maybe they'd just sit in silence together. The idea of never being allowed around another soul again sounded like a curse to him.

Alex heard all of that in his short question, and sighed as he practiced signing the alphabet to himself in random order.

"Because your father was Atlas."

She nodded. "The gods do not trust their enemies. And rightly so. I should not complain. Some of the prisons are not nearly as nice as mine."

"I guess she heard what her dad's going through," Jason said in agreement.

"It's, nice, the gods took it easy on a random kid," Will tried to say in his usual upbeat way, but he wasn't so sure how confident he was of that. He didn't actually know what crime Calypso had committed other than support and what that entailed, yet he'd heard plenty of the gods unjust punishments for lesser things.

"But that's not fair," I said. "Just because you're related doesn't mean you support him. This other daughter I knew, Zoë, Nightshade—she fought against him. She wasn't imprisoned."

"But, Percy," Calypso said gently, "I did support him in the first war. He is my father."

"Ah," Magnus said in understanding as the final piece of it all fit into place.

"One man's vacation is another man's punishment huh?" Alex said with distaste, though for Calypso or the gods nobody was sure.

"What? But the Titans are evil!"

"Are they? All of them? All the time?"

"I've yet met a good one," Magnus said in disgust.

They weren't inherently evil, Nico knew though as he toyed with the edge of the page. Iapetus the Impaler had been cleansed of his family ties and come out as Bob, an innocent who willingly helped. Luke was a child of the 'good guys' and yet he was leading the rebellion. What made good and evil was not an answer he was privy to no matter how many ghosts he talked to about it.

She pursed her lips. "Tell me, Percy. I have no wish to argue with you, but do you support the gods because they are good, or because they are your family?"

I didn't answer. She had a point. Last winter, after Annabeth and I had saved Olympus, the gods had had a debate about whether or not they should kill me. That hadn't been exactly good. But still, I felt like I supported them because Poseidon was my dad.

"And we're back to that whole corruption of infinite cosmic power business," Alex scowled.

"It's more like a few really rotten apples and some bad tempers that need work?" Will offered with a hopeful smile. He could easily understand Percy questioning such a thing, it would have made less sense if he never had. Things had been getting better since Percy demanded of the gods his reward to prevent this all happening again though, some of them had even come around a bit for a brief time before Dionysus mysteriously stopped being there.

"Perhaps I was wrong in the war," Calypso said. "And in fairness, the gods have treated me well. They visit me from time to time. They bring me word of the outside world. But they can leave. And I cannot."

"You don't have any friends?" I asked. "I mean...wouldn't anyone else live here with you? It's a nice place."

"I bet those Hesperides would, sit around and shit talk about half-bloods all day. She might like to hang out with her half sisters," Thalia sounded reluctantly sorry for her. A maiden trapped alone in this eternal place struck a particular cord in her, one strong enough for her to ask if her punishment might ever be lifted. If she asked Artemis to let her join the hunt, would that be an insult to the gods original punishment? Thalia might even consider hiding Jason away on this island once they got out of here while she figured out what had happened to him if this underwater place didn't work out long term.

A tear trickled down her cheek. "I...I promised myself I wouldn't speak of this. But—"

She was interrupted by a rumbling sound somewhere out on the lake.

Percy groaned, a painful sounding noise deep in his chest that usually meant they should all duck and hold their breath for something disastrous about to happen.

It wasn't like that this time. Percy was angry with himself, and this situation, and no one set thing. The ocean sloshed all around them like somebody shaking a jar as he shifted around to try and get comfortable in his seat with no clear ending in sight.

A glow appeared on the horizon. It got brighter and brighter, until I could see a column of fire moving across the surface of the water, coming toward us.

"Because at this point why wouldn't aliens show up," Magnus frowned.

"Why is that your first thought?" Jason looked at him like anything left could be a strange sentence in here. "It's more likely Mercury is popping in again. Maybe he decided to use a pillar of flames this time."

"Haven't you heard stories about aliens appearing as columns of light?" Magnus asked in amusement. "I know this guy on Beacon Street who swears up and down he saw them while flying in WWII, described them just like this. I bet he'll think I'm just as crazy if I tell him it was just a god passing by."

"We're all a little crazy in some ways," Alex cheerfully reminded.

I stood and reached for my sword. "What is that?"

Calypso sighed. "A visitor."

"She doesn't seem that thrilled about it?" Alex frowned, which was weird right? Shouldn't she be jumping for joy when anyone shows up if she's so lonely? She had been cut off though, about to offer Percy something, and it wasn't particularly hard to imagine what.

As the column of fire reached the beach. Calypso stood and bowed to it formally. The flames dissipated, and standing before us was a tall man in gray overalls and a metal leg brace, his beard and hair smoldering with fire.

"Lord Hephaestus," Calypso said. "This is a rare honor."

Will scratched absently at his chin as he said, "yeah, I imagine so. Like I'm trying to think of a scenario where she's ever even met him." If he so rarely visited anyone, why would he go to this random girl. Did he study her plants to make machines out of them?

"Maybe a child of Hephaestus has landed there before," Nico shrugged. She probably hadn't met every god, he doubted they were all kind and sporadic enough to visit on their own and she probably only knew of them through the random demi god kids who passed through.

Thalia kept the thought to herself she was a prisoner because of the war she'd been in to the two. It was plenty likely Calypso knew of every Olympian because she'd had her turn to try and kill them all, possibly by learning of their favorite foods and practicing poisions even. Who knew what she'd been up to back then before coming there.

The fire god grunted. "Calypso. Beautiful as always.

"If I hear how beautiful this girl is described one more time, I'm shaving her head," Alex rolled his eyes. "Aphrodite wasn't praised this much. Annabeth isn't praised this much!"

Nico lost his composure and burst out laughing hard while Percy sighed at the pair of them. They didn't get it, they hadn't seen her in person.

Would you excuse us, please, my dear? I need to have a word with our young Percy Jackson."

Percy felt immediately humbled and worried. Was this about Annabeth?!

Hephaestus sat down clumsily at the dinner table and ordered a Pepsi.

"I wonder if he ever goes to a restaurant, and they tell him they only have coke, and he just like, changes reality to make it so they only have Pepsi now," Magnus frowned.

"I thought it would be simpler, like he just breaks their machine so no soda is carbonated," Will admitted.

"You're both evil for taking it out on the soda," Percy told.

The invisible servant brought him one, opened it too suddenly, and sprayed soda all over the gods work clothes. Hephaestus roared and spat a few curses and swatted the can away.

"Stupid servants," he muttered. "Good automatons are what she needs. They never act up!"

"I do not believe him in any way, shape, or form," Thalia scoffed.

"I think he needs a tune-up in his mind," Percy agreed.

"Hephaestus," I said, "what's going on? Is Annabeth—"

"She's fine," he said. "Resourceful girl, that one. Found her way back, told me the whole story. She's worried sick, you know."

Percy made such a sigh of relief that he cleaved out a gap of air in front of him that made a terrifying noise as the water snapped back into place.

Nico kept reading over him like he heard his life about to end every other day while the others rubbed their ears.

"You haven't told her I'm okay?"

"That's not for me to say," Hephaestus said.

Magnus shivered deep in his seat. He longed to be there for her, how alone she must feel right now. Was she back in the maze by herself? Marching into Daedalus' shop ready for murder because she thought she'd lost her best friend? He had nothing to offer her but his companionship and still couldn't even give that as he sat uselessly in place.

"Everyone thinks you're dead. I had to be sure you were coming back before I started telling everyone where you were."

"Everyone, everyone?" Jason asked critically. "Like Neptune? Who exactly was asking Vulcan where you were?"

"It wouldn't surprise me if some of the gods kept an eye on his quest and knew Hephaestus was the last god he'd seen," Thalia reminded with a scowl. Like Hera, she'd probably been keeping tabs on him enough to know he'd gone missing.

"What do you mean?" I said. "Of course I'm coming back!"

Hephaestus studied me skeptically. He fished something out of his pocket—a metal disk the size of an iPod. He clicked a button and it expanded into a miniature bronze TV. On the screen was news footage of Mount St. Helens, a huge plume of fire and ash trailing into the sky.

"Still uncertain about further eruptions," the newscaster was saying. "Authorities have ordered the evacuation of almost half a million people as a precaution. Meanwhile, ash has fallen as far away as Lake Tahoe and Vancouver, and the entire Mount St. Helens area is closed to traffic within a hundred-mile radius. While no deaths have been reported, minor injuries and illnesses include—"

Hephaestus switched it off. "You caused quite an explosion."

Percy's hand leapt to his mouth like he was going to try and hold in another scream. He just looked so ashamed Thalia instinctively leaned over and hugged him. He cautiously returned it, but his hand stayed in place, the guilt in his eyes more plain than the dark water around them.

It wasn't okay, Thalia knew as she leaned back, and she didn't say as much. Percy looked as torn apart as if he wanted to evacuate his own body, that volcano might as well have erupted inside of him and then proceeded out to the lava.

I stared at the blank bronze screen. Half a million people evacuated? Injuries. Illness. What had I done?

"I-" but Percy couldn't say how sorry he was. He couldn't see the others around him, if they looked at him with fear now. All he could feel was that dormant power in him, the one he touched every other page in here it seemed. Even now he couldn't get a handle on his emotions, his capabilities. Perhaps this place wasn't a punishment at all, but a place to learn why he should be kept away from others.

He'd always been a really bad student though.

Thalia slugged him on the shoulder and said, "and this is why boys should be kept at the bottom of the ocean! I bet if you'd gone to visit the Cyclops forges too you'd have a handle on this, it's all your dad's fault really." Like she wasn't massively speaking from experience her dad had never given her any help on her chaotic powers either.

Will and Nico were muttering away about something as usual, the book held casually in Nico's hand, the kid who had once made the dead vanish without thought and nearly taken the camp with him. Alex was lounging in his seat waiting for things to keep going while Magnus and Jason just looked reserved for the worst.

They'd all been dealing with him nearly killing them since they got in here. This vast showing of his powers didn't surprise a one, it was just a part of who he was. It wasn't a great part of him, but Percy sighed and knew what Annabeth would tell him to do once she was done strangling him for making her think he was dead. All he could do was build a better foundation next time. He had to work on getting control.

"The telekhines were scattered," the god told me. "Some vaporized. Some got away, no doubt. I don't think they'll be using my forge any time soon.

"Oh look, he got what he wanted out of it," Alex scoffed.

"Not exactly a win, win, scenario," Percy muttered. Why couldn't the gods have shown up to stop the volcano from erupting and saved all those people?

For the same reason they hadn't voted to kill him he supposed. They had their own plans, own agenda, other things better to do with their infinite time than worry about him right this moment. A part of Percy still hoped he'd asked his dad to make a few anonymous donations to help... somehow. He didn't even know, he just knew his next prayer to his dad as he scrapped food off his plate would be for this.

On the other hand, neither will I. The explosion caused Typhon to stir in his sleep. We'll have to wait and see—"

"I couldn't release him, could I? I mean, I'm not that powerful!"

The god grunted. "Not that powerful, eh? Could have fooled me. You're the son of the Earthshaker, lad. You don't know your own strength."

Percy felt a horrible pressure deep in his chest at a god telling him that. He'd taken on Ares and come out the other side without a scratch.

His friends didn't see him as a god though. Thalia was nothing but sympathetic beside him. "I've hardly touched my powers since I caused this massive storm once, nearly tore a whole city apart the news later blamed on a hurricane." She admitted. "I don't often need them more than just the minimum with the Hunters. You're still coming into it Percy."

Chiron had warned him of this, way back when, but he still felt like he didn't fully grasp all he was.

That's the last thing I wanted him to say. I hadn't been in control of myself in that mountain. I'd released so much energy I'd almost vaporized myself, drained all the life out of me. Now I found out I'd nearly destroyed the Northwest U.S. and almost woken the most horrible monster ever imprisoned by the gods. Maybe I was too dangerous. Maybe it was safer for my friends to think I was dead.

Thalia fought off the urge to smack him with the greatest of restraint. "That's not for you to decide who we hang out with Percy!"

"You've said yourself what a bad influence I am," Percy said with a reluctant tease.

"You're a pain in the ass who I would never trade away for some boring kid who couldn't blow up a volcano," she huffed.

Percy was rubbing at his arm like she had tried to pummel him, and Magnus couldn't stand watching him beat himself up. Percy had been a good friend to Annabeth, and to him this whole time. It wasn't his thing to say really, but he didn't really think Hearth would begrudge him offering to Percy, "hey, listen, Hearth's told me about how strange it is to hate a part of your own body. Just because it's something you can't control in yourself doesn't make it a bad thing, just something to live around."

"Hearth's not going to blow up half a continent because he doesn't know what he's doing," Percy said sullenly, his eyes on the floor. He assumed anyways. What did he know about elves?

"I might," Nico wasn't to happy about reminding. "Thalia might. Would you want us to stay on an island?" He was very confident of the answer he got, enough he didn't feel any major emotion at still knowing who Percy was. Percy didn't want him, his answer would be the same no matter who's name he'd given.

"No," was of course his automatic response.

"Then you're not that special," Thalia happily concluded.

"How do you think I feel?" Jason agreed. "I couldn't begin to guess what I'm capable of until it erupts out of me too, gods knows what form it'll take since I can't begin to guess at my parentage."

Thalia kept her face very straight to hide her continued guilt over leaving him in the dark on that. He'd know soon enough when she figured out for herself all the answers she could give him. She was not like her father, keeping him at arms length until she was ready...

"You can blame your dad if you need someone to be accountable for this," Alex said in that calm, confident way as he absently played with a strand of green hair. The pale amber eye glittered with a secret, while the dark brown one seemed heavy and tired. "Don't let that excuse you from practicing what you have to all its might though."

Percy rubbed his fingers together, still unsure how much he could let himself agree with that. What would happen one day if he went all out, who would get caught in the crossfire next...

"What about Grover and Tyson?" I asked.

Hephaestus shook his head. "No word, I'm afraid. I suppose the labyrinth has them."

"So what am I supposed to do?"

Hephaestus winced. "Don't ever ask an old cripple for advice, lad. But I'll tell you this.

"Don't ask me for advice but here's some," Alex rolled his eyes.

"No wonder his machines always go haywire, I bet their coding is just as sporadic," Magnus agreed.

"You guys have got to stop saying that kind of stuff," Will said with a nervous laugh. "Just because a god hasn't popped in here yet to kill us doesn't mean they won't."

"Pssh, we've got Percy," Alex brushed off.

Percy blushed. He wasn't sure if Alex meant he was a bigger threat, or he would get between whatever god got annoyed with their commentary. He considered both true.

You've met my wife?"

"Aphrodite."

"That's her. She's a tricky one, lad. Be careful of love. It'll twist your brain around and leave you thinking up is down and right is wrong."

"Never have I said truer words," Nico muttered for himself. It perfectly explained why he always felt...everything he'd ever felt.

I thought about my meeting with Aphrodite, in the back of a white Cadillac in the desert last winter. She'd told me that she had taken a special interest in me, and she'd be making things hard for me in the romance department, just because she liked me.

"And I still haven't forgiven her for that," Percy scowled, now fully suspecting his time with Calypso was a part of this.

"Um, be grateful she doesn't seem to be sending random guys to Annabeth's house?" Magnus offered, but he knew how unhelpful that sounded.

Percy didn't seem to think much of it either, his mind swiveling to Luke and always worried what he was up to.

"Is this part of her plan?" I asked. "Did she land me here?"

"Possibly. Hard to say with her.

Percy made an exhausted noise. He had a headache again and he wasn't even trying to pressure himself to remember what his decision had been. He just knew what it was going to be now. If Aphrodite had put him here, he had to leave. There had never been a choice, just more manipulation by the gods he was helping to win this war. Like a dog doing its job for the reward every night of a good bed and food.

His family was more than that to him though, he instantly regretted his thought as he played with his clay beads. He was picking the winning side not because any god had told him to. His choice was clear. If Kronos won, his family wouldn't.

But if you decide to leave this place—and I don't say what's right or wrong—then I promised you an answer to your quest. I promised you the way to Daedalus. Well now, here's the thing. It has nothing to do with Ariadne's string. Not really. Sure, the string worked. That's what the Titan's army will be after. But the best way through the maze...Theseus had the princess's help. And the princess was a regular mortal. Not a drop of god blood in her. But she was clever, and she could see, lad. She could see very clearly. So what I'm saying—I think you know how to navigate the maze."

"You're going to bring your mom in there?" Magnus asked like he was nuts.

Alex smacked him on the back of the head, and he yelped in surprise before he realized, "oh shit, Rachel."

"There you go," Alex nodded.

"Wow, I've never seen someone literally smack sense into someone," Thalia snickered. "If only it worked on you," it was no guess who she redirected that at.

"Try it Tinkerbell, I will eat your storms for breakfast," Percy smirked. Thalia laughed, mostly out of relief he was trying to pull himself out of his funk.

It finally sank in. Why hadn't I seen it before? Hera had been right. The answer was there all the time.

"Who would have thought of that?" Jason demanded. "Nobody would have thought, hey the girl that can see through mist should go down into the crazy dangerous dungeon and see if she can see...oh. No wait. Yeah it sounds kind of obvious when you put it like that."

"Everything is clearer with hindsight," Will snorted. "I should start carrying a flashlight on me, just in case I ever need to shine it on something already fully lit."

"A UV light," Nico added. "That way we can put secret stamps only we'll know to find."

"Brilliant!" Will cheered.

Nico smiled and shook his head in exasperation he seemed fully jazzed about this joke...but the temptation was there to really do it. Go back into that maze and put up some secret clue or path to let a half-blood know others had been here, and they'd gotten out. So no kid would be trapped in there alone again.

"Yeah," I said. "Yeah, I know."

"Then you'll need to decide whether or not you're leaving."

"I..." I wanted to say yes. Of course I would. But the words stuck in my throat. I found myself looking out at the lake, and suddenly the idea of leaving seemed very hard.

Percy didn't often feel the need to kick everybody out of the room so that he could have some personal privacy, but this. This was definitely one of those moments.

Thankfully, it went without commentary. Not even judgy silence. Percy finally guessed what that reserved look on Thalia's face was. The same one she often had when she stared at her tree to long. Nobody could force him to go back, he had to want to. He could have stayed there and maybe Annabeth would have joined the Hunters after all or anything else that could have happened. He didn't though, he knew that about himself. Nobody had made Thalia take a stand on that hill, but her spirit had lingered in that tree instead of vanishing long ago, enough of her had wanted to come back the fleece could work its magic on her.

"Don't decide yet," Hephaestus advised. "Wait until daybreak. Daybreak is a good time for decisions."

"Will Daedalus even help us?" I asked. "I mean, if he gives Luke a way to navigate the Labyrinth, we're dead. I saw dreams about...Daedalus killed his nephew. He turned bitter and angry and—"

"It isn't easy being a brilliant inventor," Hephaestus rumbled. "Always alone. Always misunderstood. Easy to turn bitter, make horrible mistakes. People are more difficult to work with than machines. And when you break a person, he can't be fixed."

Percy thought of Luke. His broken body at the bottom of that mountain, his crooked smile slashing that sword at him. He knew Hephaestus didn't mean physically fixed.

Though a cyborg would be a lot cooler to fight.

Hephaestus brushed the last drops of Pepsi off his work clothes. "Daedalus started well enough. He helped the Princess Ariadne and Theseus because he felt sorry for them. He tried to do a good deed. And everything in his life went bad because of it. Was that fair?" The god shrugged. "I don't know if Daedalus will help you, lad, but don't judge someone until you've stood at his forge and worked with his hammer, eh?"

"He gives pretty good advice for a god who doesn't want to," Jason chuckled.

"I'll—I'll try."

Percy wanted to laugh that off, pretend he'd never have a clue where Daedalus was coming from...but his dad's words from that party he hadn't died at came to mind. How Luke had once been Hermes's pride and joy and look how far he'd fallen.

Percy had spent a lot of time in here wondering at how useful the gods were, how he'd be better off without their constant interference, this of all treacheries putting such a choice in front of him just to see how he'd react.

He didn't have to try anymore to get where a good deed could make you feel punished for the rest of your life. He'd tried to stop an army of monsters from recreating Kronos's full blade and blown up a volcano with his hammer. Daedalus was not perfect, he'd done many a horrible things, but if he was stuck in some punishment now Percy would have to help get him out of, he would without hesitation. Not because they needed him for this quest, but because the gods shouldn't get to decide anybody's eternal fate.

Hephaestus stood. "Good-bye, lad. You did well, destroying the telekhines. I'll always remember you for that."

It sounded very final, that good-bye. Then he erupted into a column of flame, and the fire moved over the water, heading back to the world outside.

"I just like to imagine all of Hephaestus's goodbyes are like that," Will said as cheerfully as ever. "The gods never fully expect to see us again. They blink and it's been a hundred years and oops, that guy died of old age I think."

Percy often thought this guy was a goofball. Nobody could be that naturally happy all the time, he had to be faking it at least every other smile. Not this time though. Will had been in this world longer, he'd had siblings to stay up late laughing about this with.

I walked along the beach for several hours. When I finally came back to the meadow, it was very late, maybe four or five in the morning, but Calypso was still in her garden, tending the flowers by starlight. Her moonlace glowed silver, and the other plants responded to the magic, glowing red and yellow and blue.

"He has ordered you to return," Calypso guessed.

"She'd like that, wouldn't she," Alex sounded blunt, but not cold. "The perfect way to make you stay."

Percy laughed, even though they both knew it was no joke.

"Well, not ordered. He gave me a choice."

Her eyes met mine. "I promised I would not offer."

"Offer what?"

"For you to stay."

"Stay," I said. "Like...forever?"

"You would be immortal on this island," she said quietly. "You would never age or die. You could leave the fight to others, Percy Jackson. You could escape your prophecy."

I stared at her, stunned. "Just like that?"

She nodded. "Just like that."

"But...my friends."

Nico was still adjusting to the feeling of admiration he had for Percy from when Percy had discovered he was a child of Hades and declaring himself the prophecy child. Percy took on the role of leader and responsibility so easily and naturally in a way he shared with Thalia Nico felt nausea over just the idea of.

But it wasn't the power that propped him into the position. It was the people around him he willingly led. Percy hadn't wanted to go back to camp to be the hero, he'd gone back because of them.

No matter how messy his shadow traveling ever got or what near-death experience he might find himself in, Nico was confident he'd never wind up on this island. Calypso would never fall in love with someone like him, but even still he stared absently down at the book for a few lingering moments. It was probably silly to think if he'd even be invited to stay, what reason he'd have to go back.

He wouldn't have had one before he got thrown into this room.

Calypso rose and took my hand. Her touch sent a warm current through my body. "You asked about my curse, Percy. I did not want to tell you. The truth is the gods send me companionship from time to time. Every thousand years or so, they allow a hero to wash up on my shores, someone who needs my help. I tend to him and befriend him, but it is never random. The Fates make sure that the sort of hero they send..."

Her voice trembled, and she had to stop.

I squeezed her hand tighter. "What? What have I done to make you sad?"

"They send a person who can never stay," she whispered. "Who can never accept my offer of companionship for more than a little while. They send me a hero I can't help...just the sort of person I can't help falling in love with."

"Huh," Alex couldn't help but sound admirable. "Somebody got really creative with that curse."

"Can we not compliment someone who tormented someone else for more eons than you can name," Jason sighed for this poor girl.

"I can admire the structure of a building without wishing it would fall on someone," Alex assured.

"Besides, this is Percy here." Magnus grinned. "You can't convince me he's not going to find some way to sneak this girl out. I bet he comes back through the labyrinth connecting to this place and gives her that freedom."

"Does she deserve it though," Alex raised a challenging brow. "She's not a victimless kid here. Who knows what she did to earn a life sentence. The gods are more than capable of just putting her right back and then deciding to destroy the labyrinth to suit their needs if he does."

Magnus looked intently at Alex as he considered debating that. Atlas felt like he deserved that life sentence because of what he'd done to Annabeth and Zoe, but the cruelty of his punishment came with no end in sight. It didn't feel right for these all-powerful beings to smite out immortal punishments that lasted longer than a lifetime.

Nico kept reading, and Magnus didn't get into it right now because he was still an atheist at heart, and had a great distaste of any 'justice system'. These gods were mighty but flawed beings to him, but it was an endless debate that had no resolution they should have to have someone to be accountable to.

The night was quiet except for the gurgle of the fountains and waves lapping on the shore. It took me a long time to realize what she was saying.

"Me?" I asked.

"If you could see your face." She suppressed a smile, though her eyes were still teary. "Of course, you."

The brief laugh that echoed around the room fell on deaf ears to Percy. He felt like he was still processing her warm brown eyes and the smile on her face for the first time. She was the kind of girl he bet his mom would have wanted him to settle down with, a nice normal girl who would garden with him all day and never flee a school on fire with him. The kind of girl who wouldn't have to hide her knife from Paul Blofis and have to explain why she might be on the run from some monsters.

His mom loved Annabeth, Sally Jackson had always nurtured his creative side and had never ordered him around, but this was the girl his mom would have wanted him to pick, he was sure of it.

And he wouldn't have agreed with her.

"That's why you've been pulling away all this time?"

"I tried very hard. But I can't help it. The Fates are cruel. They sent you to me, my brave one, knowing that you would break my heart."

"But...I'm just...I mean, I'm just me."

"And what's so wrong with that Percy?" Thalia chuckled with a glint in her eyes that spelled trouble. "It seems more than enough to get you by."

Panic shot through him as he thought Thalia was talking about herself for a moment, before her eyes darted to Nico and he laughed supremely awkwardly. He had no idea if Annabeth still loved him outside of a single memory he had of her that seemed to get more wildly out of context the more this went on. Nico had apparently fallen in love with him at some point too?! He even felt like he was still missing the obvious in someone. Now Calypso...Holy Poseidon, Thalia wasn't wrong, and he felt a tiny kernel of panic if Aphrodite really had placed some kind of curse on him.

"That is enough," Calypso promised. "I told myself I would not even speak of this. I would let you go without even offering. But I can't. I suppose the Fates knew that, too. You could stay with me, Percy. I'm afraid that is the only way you could help me."

I stared at the horizon. The first red streaks of dawn were lightening the sky. I could stay here forever, disappear from the earth. I could live with Calypso, with invisible servants tending to my every need. We could grow flowers in the garden and talk to songbirds and walk on the beach under perfect blue skies. No war. No prophecy. No more taking sides.

The truth was Percy could see how easy it would be to fall for someone like Calypso. Annabeth didn't need him, she was a better hero than him in nearly every way. She would probably figure out a way to convince Luke he was being stupid and stop being evil and this prophecy nonsense would be put off for another thousand years or so.

Calypso thought he was funny. She'd been alone for a really long time and needed help. He bet she'd help him build an awesome skate park and he could sit around all day doing things he'd always wanted to, like learn to play guitar and get an unbeatable high score. It wasn't so much that he wouldn't do it.

"I can't," I told her.

He couldn't spend his time waking up every day in a garden, blissfully happy. He couldn't sit around learning to weave and cook beef stew. He could not step away from his prophecy, his friends who needed him, no matter how much Calypso did too.

She looked down sadly.

"I would never do anything to hurt you," I said, "but my friends need me. I know how to help them now. I have to get back."

She picked a flower from her garden—a sprig of silver moonlace. Its glow faded as the sunrise came up. Daybreak is a good time for decisions, Hephaestus had said. Calypso tucked the flower into my T-shirt pocket.

Nico studied the book in surprise. He'd always greatly wondered why Percy had been rooting around and dumping his canteen in that flower box when he'd shown up. It had felt like a warding off gesture to him, considering how much Nico detested plants and Percy must have somehow known this. Instead, he now understood, it was just a very, very sad reminder at the hint of white that had sprouted up.

She stood on her tiptoes and kissed me on the forehead, like a blessing.

"Then come to the beach, my hero. And we will send you on your way."

It would have been easier if she'd argued with him. If she'd begged him to stay and cursed him and the gods out for doing this to her again and thrown a fit, ripping up her precious plants.

She was so kind. She'd accepted her life was just going to be like this, and endless cycle of heartache. She accepted her inevitable defeat.

It was that part of her that he knew he would never be happy with.

The raft was a ten-foot square of logs lashed together with a pole for a mast and a simple white linen sail. It didn't look like it would be very seaworthy, or lakeworthy.

"This will take you wherever you desire," Calypso promised. "It is quite safe."

I took her hand, but she let it slip out of mine.

"Maybe I can visit you," I said.

She shook her head. "No man ever finds Ogygia twice, Percy. When you leave, I will never see you again."

Some god owed him for this. Losing his memory, being trapped in this room. Reliving each and every moment of his past as raw and painful as ever.

He didn't know how, he didn't when, but he knew he would not let this be the case. It was a gut feeling. He would see her again.

"But—"

"Go, please." Her voice broke. "The Fates are cruel, Percy. Just remember me." Then a little trace of her smile returned. "Plant a garden in Manhattan for me, will you?"

"I promise." I stepped onto the raft. Immediately it began to sail from the shore.

Alex had never been to Manhattan, but he was pretty confident they had a plant conservatory garden, and he pretended he couldn't hear Percy's ragged breath for a moment as he instead vividly imagined security chasing Percy with pitchforks and trowels for trying to plant something.

As I sailed onto the lake I realized the Fates really were cruel. They sent Calypso someone she couldn't help but love. But it worked both ways. For the rest of my life I would always be thinking about her. She would always be my biggest what if.

"One even the Fates might not know," Thalia murmured gently. Not even the Titan's had been able to outsmart them. Percy had been the child of the Prophecy. Somehow, some way, he was always going to fulfill that role.

Did that mean there were paths even they couldn't see? A tapestry even they couldn't make? A world beyond the oldest beings?

Within minutes the island of Ogygia was lost in the mist. I was sailing alone over the water toward the sunrise.

Then I told the raft what to do. I said the only place I could think of, because I needed comfort and friends.

"Camp Half-Blood," I said. "Sail me home."

Alex couldn't help but break the tension like a firecracker. "What if you asked to go back to your mom's apartment? Would you appear in the bathtub?"

Percy laughed at this guys never ending sporadicness. It was genuine, but still a little sad as he watched Nico pass the book to Will.

He had somehow been taken out of time over four times in his life already. His life, his choices kept speeding past and around him, colliding with everyone around him whether he wanted them to or not. He could never have stayed on Ogygia anymore than he would willingly stay in this room...but somehow a part of him felt so disconnected from his own future as he floated out on that raft he couldn't begin to guess what came next.

PJOPJOPJO

This was a very big revelation chapter for little kid me. One of the very first instances of showing another point of view.

Reading this chapter, making me realize that Percy was not fighting for the 'right side', but the side his family was on. It wasn't just an obvious choice for good and evil anymore, it was the obligation of family vs duty, the first story this concept was ever introduced to me, and I'll always remember Calypso for that.

I will never understand people who hate Calypso for turning into a shrew by the time Leo comes around. This girl has been dealing with her curse longer than you can conceive of a timeframe, she's earned the right to be pissed and not nice anymore. She was at peace with it for as long as she could be, until she just couldn't handle it anymore. Can you imagine if a god popped in and delivered the news that Kronos was defeated once more and all the gods were now supposed to be taking more responsibility for their kids, and maybe even let slip that she should be let out of her punishment, and they just, didn't?

I imagine it being Demeter or something, all a flutter with excitement for all these new developments and then dropping this bomb, getting distracted by Calypso's beautiful begonias, and then cheesing it leaving Calypso in an understandably bitter future with her curse.

[crashingmeteor3]

My absolutely marvellous review of Yoke Guy Watch T!!

So I just finished the game (just as in yesterday) and I haven't done much post-game stuff other than favours and my daily things. But, I can say I definitely enjoyed the game.

But I'm going to go over the things I found difficult or just didn't enjoy in the game.

I found the whole supermarket thing difficult, especially the chase at the end, it took me an embarrassingly long time to time my jumps correctly. But the boss battle was fun and not too challenging. Zombie Night isn't half as bad as I thought it would be, but I still don't enjoy it very much lol.

The Clown time thing gives me the creeps, I don't like clowns in general so being chased by one suddenly? I barely made it lol.

Terror time is terror time. I still suck at it.

As I said before, I wish you could do more storywise as Hailey that's not getting stuff after the stories merge. While I found playing in BBQ as Nate more fun, Hailey's character is a lot more entertaining. So I wish I could've played as her more.

Not a nitpick, but I still haven't got Sighborg Y after so many attempts. I guess I'm just not lucky lol.

More of a personal problem but the fact it took me up until chapter 5 to get Dimmy and Dazzabel because they hardly showed up is a pain in the butt. But I got my children and unfortunately, I had to swap Ratelle out for Mee2 to have a second healer since I desperately needed one. Auntie Heart is the punching bag and having a backup healer in case she goes down is helpful. I also wanted to use Allnyta but never found bothered to figure out where Tengloom is.

Again not really a problem but I feel like quests were a lot less relevant in the main story, sure you have the detective agency but once I got Mirapo unlocked and I didn't have to do any quests there to progress the main story I totally forgot about it and Sparkopolis altogether. I didn't see many quests at all on Nate's side. This is good because I got to focus on the main story more but I do enjoy getting sidetracked and doing fun quests.

Unpopular opinion, but I didn't enjoy the alternate dimension quests (at least the ones I have done so far). I skipped most of the cutscenes for the first quest because of how uninteresting it was for me, I didn't enjoy the concept, but I did like playing the game as Katie! For the second quest, I don't understand why the tour was changed to some heroine competition? They probably didn't want it to be the same tour again, but they could've changed some things to make it more interesting.

And in the end, we get the most (in my opinion) unsatisfying ending, with the shark winning the whole thing? But seeing No-Bot was cool in the quest, especially when you see him in the Bada-Bing Tower later. This makes me wonder if Yopple Bot would be at the tower instead in Katie's dimension. Or if the whole Ghoulfather thing has happened at all there.

I wish Buck had more involvement, his whole personality for the most part was adventure, aliens and ufos. I thought the Hazeltine Manor chapter would give us some more information about him, but we hardly saw him at all. He doesn't do much outside of the three things I mentioned either, which kind of sucks. Or maybe he does, and I just forget. I still love him though. I feel a similar way about Jessica, she's Hailey's best friend or something and it would've been nice if she had a role similar to Katie's as a good friend character. I kind of wish she got involved in the yo-kai stuff to at least some degree so she could be like how Buck is to Nate. But that'd be messy in the end so I understand why they didn't.

I didn't find many of the Merican/New yo-kai very interesting, the ones I found most interesting are the S-ranks, unfortunately. I still like some of them though!

And now the good parts!

The characters are fun, and while the main characters are great apart, they're so entertaining together I enjoyed the times in later chapters when they were together doing stuff! Whisper, Jibanyan and Usapyon are wonderful, as usual. Blunder and Folly, while I question their relevance, were also entertaining to watch.

I like the involvement of the Blasters House, it was a nice surprise. I liked seeing them again seeing as I didn't enjoy playing Blasters much game-play-wise. Which is probably why I didn't play Blasters T very much. I liked the yo-kai heroes too.

One of my favourite parts of the game was the Yopple Tour, seeing old characters like Kyubi, Venoct, Arachnus, Toadal Dude and Komasan and Komajiro was awesome. And Spect-Hare and Double Time were entertaining.

I loved the Dukesville storyline with Unnbearaboy and Jane, it was very sweet, but sad how they had to split again so soon.

Deadcool. All I have to say.

The boss battles were fun, yet difficult. I lost to Slackajack a couple of times. I was worried I wouldn't like the grid system, but it's fun to strategize where to use my yo-kai and being able to dodge attacks.

Yo-kai watch blaster go pew pew, all I have to say.

And there's a lot more stuff, but just so I don't write a whole book here. I'll stop listing stuff XD

My final team was Usapyon, Blandon, Sgt. Burly, Mee2, Mama Aura and my Originyan called Nyanplay (pun on Nyan, as most if not all of the jibanyan variants, have nyan in their name, and cosplay!) . But I also used Jibanyan, Wydeawake, Ratelle, Demandi, Intune, Thurston and others. I tried to use the new yo-kai, but that failed. Maybe on my other save file, I'll do a Merican yo-kai-only run.

[alyjojo]

Leo Yearly Career & Finance Reading 🪖2024

Preshuffle: There’s an exciting new beginning being shown that you’ve waited patiently for. Could be regarding work, which is showing up as financially rewarding and beneficial to you, you could be teaming up with a person or being gifted a loan of some kind, in order to make a big purchase. There’s mutual love and respect between those around you.

Meditation: 50/50. Half of you were with a big group of people at a strip club, throwing money at the people on stage, and the other half of you were the strippers. It was a big party atmosphere, everyone drinking and hollering out goofy things, laughing about it. This could nod to parties, gatherings, social occasions, drinking possibly, sex work or entertainment generally. Good times 🥳

Main Energy: 3 Pentacles rev

For most people, I would see this as other people being difficult, but this year it could definitely be you that’s not willing to listen or work together in cooperation with others. There’s a lot of independent energy in you, for the first half of the year, you don’t feel like you need anyone - life is great - and you are happy with that. Later on through, that becomes an issue, and Collaboration is here as advice, allowing yourself to be inspired by others while not necessarily doing *exactly* what they would do or what they tell you. That’s everyone, you have to be yourself too. You could be aware of some shadier characters around you, and you trust yourself to not fk yourself over, so you’d much rather just tackle things solo. It’s a mantra of “I got it.” With this comes Obstacles, Overwhelm, and Worry, I don’t see 10 Wands yet but I’m feeling it. Everyone needs someone to rely on and that’s what feels like is lacking for you this year, maybe by choice. At work, be careful of alienating coworkers by acting like a one-man show. If you act like you can do everything and you know everything, people will gladly step out of the way and let you stumble, it’s on you, and less on them. There’s a note here that if you are always relying on others, it could be them hanging you out to dry, having enough. 9999 is being shown clearly with Collaboration, 9 Pentacles & Cups together in April, and The Hermit in July. It’s important to be independent and confident, going after what you want. But what fun is that, alone? For how long?

January: 8 Wands & 4 Swords

Oracles: Principle

Zodiac Signs: Libra & Sagittarius Sun/Jupiter

Principle is about personal beliefs, mantras, habits & practices, particularly over 4 Swords, your health. Sleep. Queen of Cups clarifies, this is about self-care. Eating better, exercising more, specifically in small routines like an avocado a day or a protein shake every morning while you walk the dog. You’re definitely active and taking care of yourself, and if not then you’re probably learning more about things like this. Signing up for a gym membership, hearing about a certain diet, getting an allergy test because something you ate made you splotchy. Whatever it is, you intend to stick to a regime from here on out, which is totally fine. The issue is with the heavy Sag energy, which can be quite bossy and fanatical, so say you’ve stopped eating dairy, now the whole house isn’t eating it because YOU won’t buy it. Sewing seeds for rebellion or conflict. You could also be getting test results back, I’m not seeing any worst case scenarios for that. Some of you may have faced a health issue and acted quickly, maybe having to miss work for a bit. Or a partner has. In few cases, you could be hearing of cutbacks at work, whether lay offs, postponed or canceled bonuses, the building gets shut down due to health hazards or everyone just gets sick, you or others, and whoever is around has way more to deal with. It’s possible a vacation is being scheduled or taken at this time, mental health days, I don’t get anything being wrong with this. You could also be messaging a friend a job offer if they’ve hit hard times, or switch it. There could also be a breakup based on what I’m seeing in February, if so it’s quick, cut off & done.

February: 5 Wands, The Lovers & Judgement

Oracles: Adaptability

Zodiac Signs: Libra, Gemini Sun & Moon

It looks like someone is moving on really quickly if this is a breakup, but they’re being quiet about it. An old lover may return, especially if you have children together, and you could argue over who is dating who and what’s appropriate as far as kids are concerned, can we not do this in front of them until you’re serious about a person, curb the hoes, something like that. There could be an affair going on at your job, or with an ex…ex spouse even. Messing around with the baby mama/daddy. This person could be a single parent. I don’t see deception, it feels more like trying to be respectful and allow pieces to fall where they may before the world needs to know. It’s private. Or you’re fighting a person you’re with / were with for keeping secrets in this way. Could be at work, regarding work.

Specifically work wise, you could be developing feelings or a crush on someone that’s obviously good looking. And you may not be the only one after them either. You may stay quiet about your feelings or trying to get invoked with someone because your financial situation isn’t exactly how you’d like it to be, especially if you’ve lost a job or have missed out on some sort of bonus/perk/tax check? I don’t see major debt, but maybe a struggle. Some of you are trying to sort child support or finances generally with an ex, and you’re already feeling someone, but it has to wait, or that’s switched. Someone isn’t happy with the decisions being made, it could be something new, a relationship, a direction in life or hobby, a job, there’s a vibe of “who put you in charge?” - or swap it. Especially if this is regarding something close to your heart, why should anyone else make that decision? This could simply be a new passion or hobby you’re keeping quiet for fear of judgement, especially from a partner.

March: The Sun & Queen of Wands

Oracles: Resourcefulness & Endurance

Zodiac Signs: Aries, Scorpio, Cancer

You won’t be keeping yourself quiet or small for long! This month you are confidently showing off whatever it is you’ve been holding back, and you’re hoping for support, hoping others are rooting for you as much as you’re rooting for yourself. Are they…I’m not sure, I don’t actually see anyone here, or their responses. If you have a new lover, you’re proudly displaying them. If you have a new hobby, you’re going ALL IN, your new obsession over dirt bikes will lead you to buy one or more of them, and set up a trip or five in order to act on this new obsession of yours. You could be redecorating a home, or traveling somewhere you’ve always wanted to go, maybe even bringing back art or souvenirs to decorate the home with. You’re either feeling attractive (especially with all the effort you’ve put into health), or you’re with someone new that you are just drooling over, they’re hot 🤤 If single you could be traveling with the hopes of finding some hot Brazilian lover or an affair to remember, there’s an EatPrayLove vibe about you that’s #goals fr. Single goals. You or someone else could be gifting each other something in the realm of your new obsession, showing at least one person supports this. I can’t tell about family, either they’re the ones that do or definitely don’t, it depends on what role you have been playing vs. this confident & excitable you. 9 Pentacles shows you being unbothered regardless, your main goal right now is living your life, and you’re enjoying every second of it! Some of you could be side hustling with feet pics or sumsum of that work, and you feel great about it, so does your bank account. If you’ve got it, flaunt it! I can see where family might be an issue there though.

April: 9 Cups & 9 Pentacles

Oracles: Seduction & Submission

Zodiac Signs: Gemini, Virgo & Pisces Venus/Jupiter

Someone is definitely into sex work, or paying for it possibly. 9 Pentacles flexes their cash on extravagance, especially with 9 Cups. Everything here screams sex, possibly with multiple people or having some kind of double life with this…at the bottom is the ex, the baby mama/daddy, the one not really knowing what’s going on while you’re over here living the high life. Not that they need to know, your energy feels 100% single, 9’s are single. The bottom of the deck can show you need more sleep, need to take a break, or this may be that vacation/travel I saw earlier in the reading, coming to fruition. Someone is going to sweep you off of your feet and you’re not going to stop them, financially you’re doing just fine and then some, this is a high that’s going to be hard to come back down from. Up all night, over and over again in every room of the wherever you are, romance, passion 💋, and no care or forethought with money. You’re willing to spend it all without a second glance.

May: 6 Wands rev & Knight of Swords

Oracles: Patience

Zodiac Signs: Leo, Virgo Jupiter

The comedown, the release, the reality check. Welcome back to earth or home etc. You’re not gonna like it here 😆 I don’t see craziness or too much chaos, but I do see conflict, possibly regarding an ex spouse and any children involved. Maybe you don’t talk to them or miss your days. You don’t pay attention or communicate something necessary. I get the intention being to just be patient, reunite, and wait for someone to get over it. If this is work, I don’t think you’re telling anyone about your sexual exploits or adventures (or you’re leaving that part out). No one you know really well, no one with some deeply ingrained version of you in their head. Like your parents. If only they knew! You’re trying to act morally above board, follow protocol, fit in with the narrative of whoever surrounds you. Responsible, old fashioned, logical. Not that you’re not those things, it’s just more of a mask you’re trying to wear until you can get back to your real life. Fun, passion, joy…and smut 💋 In some way you may be trying to come forward with some truth, but it’s sugar coated for others to swallow easier than if you just laid it all out there. You’re not trying to create conflict. For many it’s just “back to work”, back to real life, your ego & high are deflating like a balloon, while simultaneously getting shit done - you’re reliable like that.

June: The Hanged Man & Page of Swords

Oracles: Speculation & Charity

Zodiac Signs: Heavy Cancer Sun/Saturn/Jupiter

Your perspective may change on the very thing that had you feeling over the moon in March/April. It’s all becoming a burden, a heavy weight, more responsibility to carry. Some of you are managing two different careers, lovers, lives, and it’s getting hard to maintain. If there’s a lover, I assume they live at a distance, because distance between you is what you’re kinda pissy about at the bottom of the deck. You wonder if someone is giving this as much as you are, emotionally, in your brain space, etc. Are they genuine? If you have an online sex business going on, the watching is the burden, could be specific requests or things people say, you’re starting to get uncomfortable and feeling defensive like you could be being degraded or something (people are into that idk), and you’re like wait a minute…no. Any job that’s commission based or based on the public giving you money, tips, sales, etc., it’s becoming more of an issue than a blessing. You could put more energy into researching marketing ploys or different ways of advertising. It could just be someone says something that really gets you in your head, and you start questioning everything. That’s not a bad energy. All of the Cancer placements going on here could point towards children, the home, the family, certain responsibilities and expectations of you, it could just be that weighing you down. Keeping you from traveling, travel keeps showing up as something you really enjoy, but you may need more money. Side note: there could be people of a specific race or from a particular country that are bothering you somehow, I’m not getting hate or anything from you. Like if you have a TikTok you could be obsessed over in idk Russia but in a degrading way, or you’re a meme now, it’s that vibe. Or there are just less people overall, less attention, less spark, but why? If you’re trying to keep something quiet, it’s hard for you to do, you could feel like you’re interacting with your life from the outside, and not even being authentic to yourself.

July: 2 Pentacles & Wheel of Fortune

Oracles: Concentration

Zodiac Signs: Sagittarius & Gemini Saturn

Opposite signs, you’re living opposite lives or it feels that way. Could just be your fantasy vs reality, what you want vs what you have to do, it’s a reoccurring theme throughout the year. Could be because you don’t say anything. 2 Pentacles is constantly going back and forth between two issues, two people, weighing pros and cons, unsure what to do. This can also show you being extremely busy and kinda scatterbrained, you don’t even have time for yourself much less anyone else right now. If there is a family involved, you worry about consequences, judgement, confrontation, karma. You worry about being alone. All of this is going on inside of you, you could be very introspective around this time, slapping on a smile for friends, family and coworkers but really just trying to be patient, trying to work through whatever you’re needing to work through before you get what you want - The Star ⭐️ Or you deeply believe you’re on the right path, even if it’s hard right now. You could have too much going on right now, and also don’t want to “bother” anyone, or make anyone upset. You’re also easily distracted and will have to continue pulling your nose back to the grindstone, being too chatty or distracting with friends or coworkers could get you in trouble.

August: Page of Pentacles, 6 Cups, The Star

Oracles: Innovation

Zodiac Signs: Virgo & Aquarius Sun/Jupiter

Beautiful energy, very progressive, thoughtful, intelligent, and forward thinking. This seems to be a very healing conversation you’re having with someone close to you, formerly close to you, could be the ex spouse, an old friend, a sibling, etc. Some sort of group dynamic in your life is getting fresh life blown into it, you could find yourself being very nostalgic, while simultaneously seeing how far you’ve come from the days when you didn’t know xyz. You could have big plans to change something in your family or friend group - for the better. Maybe you’re coaching a kids team or volunteering to be a Girl/Boy Scout leader, doesn’t even have to be that big, but whatever it is falls under “visionary”, healing, and positive. Work may be the same way, you could have a conversation with a supervisor about a vision you see for something that you think would make things a lot better - and you’re probably right. Collaboration is going to work very well for you this month, you are someone that’s very giving to the whole of some group, team, could be charities, but you’re giving a lot of yourself and it’s definitely being appreciated. If you’re involved with some spicy lover 🌶️ they could be a Twin, could live enough of a distance away that you can’t see them often (Brazil? I heard that) and you’re planning for the day where you can. You’re committed to whatever you’re doing and taking it very seriously.

September: Page of Cups & 7 Swords

Oracles: Quarrel

Zodiac Signs: Leo & Cancer Mars

This Queen of Pentacles clarifying keeps coming out as the old person, the spouse, the friend you’re making up with, the ex. They’re the ones you’re having a deep healing conversation or experience with, and then this month they find out what you’ve been hiding? There’s a big fight, you’re defending your position on the matter, they’re angry with you for whatever it is you’ve done. Being happy? Moving on? Keeping something to yourself if nothing else, they might have been under the impression there would be a reunion or a rekindling and then find out the truth that you’re not even on that page with them. This could be showing you’re being kinda sneaky and strategic with your money, maybe because an ex is still on your case or you owe them and aren’t paying? Queen of Pentacles can be a single parent, that can be you too, if the other parent isn’t trying, or did a lot last month and then disappeared altogether, there will be an argument where someone is called out and things are brought to awareness. You or they have waited on the other person for who knows how long, and meanwhile they’re operating in the shadows for themselves. Someone may be defending a lie or shady behavior because of the shock value, could be your work too, or someone you work with, a highly charged emotional reaction is here.

October: Knight of Wands & Ace of Pentacles

Oracles: Bluff

Zodiac Signs: Sagittarius & Gemini Jupiter

Jupiter will actually be in Gemini by this time, and that may be beneficial for your career & finances - however, this oracle is about bluffing, tricks, persuasiveness, someone is very convincing. Could be you, lying like a rug, and it’s about money if it is. You may be trying to hide side money made however you do it, so you don’t have to pay the ex more? Child support, more alimony, more whatever it is. Straddling the line of illegal. For some it’s someone else, rushing in all excited with a new opportunity, maybe even a job. This is a warning to not take less than you deserve and not fall for pie in the sky ideals, you have the ability to see a spade as a spade and you should wait for proof or some tangible thing, a contract, a ring, a signed something that shows you this is legitimate. For most, it’s not. If you find something amazing you spontaneously want to buy, this is showing it’s fake, but there is one much better if you save some more money. Be smart with purchases 💯

November: Page of Wands rev, Knight of Pentacles & 5 Pentscles

Oracles: Companionship

Zodiac Signs: Taurus, Sagittarius, Virgo, Heavy Libra Sun & Moon

Either you’re coming off as immature or someone else is, could be a whole group of them in the family or work. I keep hearing “you’ve lost your sense”, this could be a slip up, not paying attention, something gets lost, damaged, forgotten, brushed aside, and it’s deeply hurtful. You could just forget, or last minute cancel on someone because work has you swamped, maybe you’re claiming to not have enough or you can’t spend on xyz. People are waiting for you and you’re doing the right thing, working, taking your time, being patient, but whoever is against you doesn’t care. If you’ve had a flirty things going on this year, this could be the month that ends, because of distance, jobs, family. Maybe you were planning on relocating across the world because why not, but your kids are here, so is your job, and your parents, it’s like stability and legacy keeps you tied to something you’re not even fully with but is it enough? No. 3 Swords may be outside yourself as well, this distant lover may move on to someone else and you’ve waited all this time, you’re hurt. Your career may have done something one way for the longest time, but now they’re being more unreliable and not showing up for you like they were, cutting hours, cutting benefits, money is lacking. It could simply be a lack of money that keeps you from traveling, seeing someone, reuniting with people - maybe for the holidays. Or that’s others towards you. You could find out you have to work or be on call and there’s nothing you can do about it.

December: The World rev, 5 Swords rev, Knight of Cups rev

Oracles: Versatility

Zodiac Signs: Aquarius & Gemini

It looks like you’re trying to fix whatever went wrong in November, trying to heal, apologize, make up for some lack that happened before - maybe just your lack of presence. If the problem wasn’t you, then you’re probably forgiving whatever the situation was in the first place. Worry is attached to a particular outcome happening the way *we* want it to, and here it’s being shown as “delusional” or Knight of Cups rev, not realistic, not seeing the truth of a situation but hoping for some sweeping romance or change that’s not going to happen because xyz. Family. Life. Work. Money. And maybe it’s just right now, but you’re coming around to seeing things the way they need to be seen, or you will. Everything in divine timing, rejection is just redirection, you never know what disaster you’re actually avoiding by being pulled in another direction. Versatility calls for being flexible and air calls for detachment from any particular outcome, just go with the flow and enjoy whatever it is - while it lasts. At the bottom of the deck is doing the right thing, working hard, being morally correct and standing by some code of ethics, beliefs or standards in order to keep the peace, go with the flow, maintain happiness, or to be an example - whether at work or home. 4:44 on the clock as I finish this reading, 4’s are about home, stability, solid relationships, structure, boundaries, commitment and celebration. That’s a great ending to a year.

[strawberryspeachy]

I was scrolling through my pictures and found a guide for things to study to prepare one of my students for moving to america

Its pretty detailed and makes me wonder if im getting stupider as time goes on because i forgot about several things that i came up with without even researching 2 years ago

While looking at it i remembered

The boy asked me actually. He asked me about school in the states and he was worried about some of the classes. I tried to put his mind at ease for the transition and assure him that he’ll have help for most things.

He was half white and his dad was american. His dad was a writer actually and he told me about his books during a speaking test. So he spoke english fluently. Actually that was something he was worried about. He said his dad told him he has an accent - he really didnt.

But on that I started to ask him about things we do in English class back home. He had no idea about even the basics. Not surprising. They dont do things that involve critical thought in japanese schools.

I started briefly explaining some things to him and told him id make him a guide

Then. We were cut off

The teacher came and told me he needed to go eat lunch.

Later she came and apologized to me because he told her that he asked me for advise and that he was nervous realizing that he wasnt prepared for American English classes.

She thought i just went to talk to a kid. Stopped him from going to lunch. And was stressing him out.

Not because i do that but because thats how japanese teachers see foreigners here. Being weird idiots that bother ppl

And the thing is id forgotten about that till just now.

I HATED that feeling as an ALT. Im s weird person - but not a fucking weirdo who harasses children to talk me. I hated when the teachers tried to make me do that. And i hated when they assumed thats what happened whenever a student came to talk to me.

Theyd always look worried and annoyed when students were talking to me and theyd shoo them away. And i couldnt say its ok or anything. I couldnt say or do anything. Just smile and encourage the kid that the jaapnese teacher had a good reason for telling them to not talk to me

The thing is. I liked the teacher i just mentioned. She was one of the nicest ones i worked with as an ALT. I forgot about all the shitty times with her. She got nicer to me after my mom died. All the teachers did. I noticed and i know. But somewhat also forget.

It took a horrible thing for them to see me as a human. And to just look at what i do as another person and not a strange alien they must protect the children from.

I came to japan for a paid vacation. I wanted to explore and enjoy traveling going to concerts meeting ppl and just having a good time.

Id planned to go home and take care of my mom. I thought i could write stories while i was here and look for a job back home.

Then corona hit and ruined everything. I never even got to see my mom again

Never got to feel stability

Now the money ive saved up is worth half the value back home

I have nothing to fucking show for my time here

I cant afford to go back to america

My moms not there

I dont even have a house to return to

Im so much worse off now than when i left if i go back

But i also cant deal with that degrading treatment again. Even as a legit teacher in a school working through a company middleman im treated as less than.

As an ALT i was treated like a fucking idiot mascot play toy. Like equipment. Not a person.

And as a native teacher - last year - god do you know how fucking annoying it is to have ppl who can’t speak your native language tell you whats correct?!? To be told to keep students in line, motivate them, teach them, and entertain them all while having someone undermine you at every turn. Them complain the students dont respect you. I mean that was only with 5 kids in 432 students. And thats the other fucking problem. Last year my schools students were wonderful. They were friendly smart motived and kind. Except 2 bitchy girls and one boy - the girls turned like 3 more kids in their class against me. But the rest of my students liked me. And because the PE turned English teacher didnt like english he bitched about me and used those few kids against me. I have more than 420 actively improving their assignments and having full english conversations with me. I have the two loud classes all the teachers hate because they refuse to do their work - coming to me and asking if they did my assignments correctly and asking when they need help - but because a handful of kids dont like me - that teacher turns me into a bad guy and gets me the boot.

And thats the shit to expect with even the better job i have.

The school im not rn has a native teacher who uses his charisma to make life better for the native teachers at the school. This is the best im gonna get

I cant find another job. Im trying but too many ppl want to come to japan rn

I really cant afford to go back home

And im entirely out of the patience to be treated like a fucking slave. Literally at this point. Between the shit wages that keep going down and high costs. I cant afford the shit job that wants me to act like the japanese assholes dog. Treating me however they want and i have to just smile back

I want my mom. I want to go back to when i had my pets and my house and lived near my friends.

I keep saying it but its true. Im living the future that i used to have in my nightmares and wake up screaming from. I want to wake up again back before 2011

[five-rivers]

Life's Great Lie 2

Danny watched the alien – Loki, he called himself – carefully. 

As much as Danny knew what mind control felt like from the inside, he was even more experienced in detecting it from the outside.  He had met Spectra long before Freakshow.  Walker’s invasion had been a lesson in paranoia. 

Whatever else Loki was, he wasn’t in control, and he hadn’t been for a long time.

In theory, that put them in the same boat, on the same side.  That is, the side against whatever person or force was pulling their puppet strings.  In practice…

Well.  Danny had met Dora, too, and as far as he knew, her brother hadn’t needed mind control after everything else. 

He pushed up against the boundaries he had been set inside, trying to get a feel for them, for what was allowed and what wasn’t.   As much as this was like Freakshow, it also wasn’t.  This had been designed with the living in mind, not the dead.  He needed to know what he had to work with. 

Danny looked outside himself, too.  Dr. Selvig, the archer, and the other SHEILD people who had been taken by Loki didn't act like Danny was.  They acted less like automatons and more like Loki had hijacked their loyalty, their passions, and harnessed them to his own aims. 

Danny could feel something like that in what was pressing against his own mind.  But that structure was too delicate, too… familiar to affect him, which left the more robust but rather crude method of direct control.  He’d follow Loki’s instructions to the letter unless Phantom pulled Fenton up short. 

Or if Danny let himself be affected, if he stopped resisting.  Which, obviously, he wasn’t going to do. 

He could figure out some way to play literal genie with Loki.  His experiences with Desiree should do him some good. 

“So,” said Loki, reclining as indolently as he could on the hard seats of the SHIELD vehicle, “your powers interest me.  Tell me about them.”  Despite his position,

“They’re ghost powers.”

Loki waited. 

He kept waiting. 

He frowned.  “And what can you do with them?”

“Ghost things.”  Apparently, questions counted as orders.  Good to know.  

“And what are ghost things?”

“Scaring people.”

“How?  Show me.”

Yeah.  There was no way Danny was making this easy for him. 

Danny launched an ectoblast at Loki’s face.  Next thing he knew, he was on the floor of the jeep, the staff pressing against the back of his neck.  Loki could move faster than expected. 

“You will not attack me again,” ordered Loki, his voice a hiss.  It barely sounded like he was speaking English. 

“Sir,” said the archer, “we need to get clean transport.  Fury will be tracking us.”

“Indeed,” said Loki, distracted from Danny for the moment.  “We will also need more soldiers for our cause.”

“Can you show them what you showed us?” asked the archer. 

“I…” said Loki, turning the scepter over in his hand.  He looked at it almost as if he was surprised it was there.  “I would like to hold that kind of revelation in reserve.”

“I know a few groups,” said the archer.  “Might be easier to convince them with a display of force, though.”  He looked at Danny, who hadn’t yet been allowed off the floor. 

“Hm, yes,” said Loki, also looking at Danny. 

Wow, awesome, amazing, Danny had always wanted to be dumb muscle for a wannabe alien overlord.  Great.  

(… the alien thing was still pretty cool, though.)

“I don’t suppose,” said Loki, turning to the archer, “that you know the boy’s capabilities.”

“Fury briefed me,” said the archer. 

Okay.  Fury told this guy all about him, too?  Well, then, screw Loki and Fury.  Danny didn’t even know the archer’s name, and the archer knew everything up to Danny’s new and rarely used telekinetic powers?  That just wasn’t right. 

At least it seemed that the archer only knew about Danny’s ghostly abilities, not his human ones, although he wasn’t sure how useful that would be.  It was, after all, Danny’s human half under control, and Danny couldn’t see his ability to pilot a space shuttle, play hours’ worth of video games, or turn his eyelids inside out saving the day. 

Obviously it wasn’t impossible (thanks again, Freakshow, Technus, and Youngblood), but it didn’t seem very likely.

Danny watched passively as the archer, Dr. Selvig, and Loki started to make plans.  There wasn’t anything else he could do.

Being mind controlled was really boring.  Even when the one mind controlling him was from outer space. 

Come to think of it, wasn’t it really weird that Loki looked human?  Where humanoid aliens common?  What was Loki’s planet like?

.

So.   Danny might have zoned out a little.  In his defense, he’d spent a fair amount of time training himself to zone out during road trips.  It was a thing. 

When he zoned back in, Loki was ordering him to hijack a car.

His exact words?  “Go get me that car.”

Danny happily walked over to the car, even as the archer stalked over to another, weapon raised.  Danny gently phased the (shaking, terrified) driver out and picked up the car before turning back to face Loki. 

Hm.  Danny could hit Loki, but then the car would also hit the other mind-controlled agents standing next to Loki, so…  Danny tossed the car so that it landed behind them, on the SHEILD Jeep, crushing both vehicles into uselessness.

Loki gazed at him appraisingly, and Danny wondered if he hadn’t just made a mistake. 

.

They got in the car the archer had stolen and drove to what the archer called a ‘safe house.’  They stayed there for a while.  When they left, they had twice as many people and four times as many cars. 

The new people made Danny’s hair stand on end.  He didn’t like them. 

Their next destination was a tiny airstrip, and they loaded themselves – and far too many guns – onto a small plane.  Being trapped on a plane was even more boring than the car.  He couldn’t even eavesdrop on the conversations because no one had given him a pair of headphones and it was too loud in the plane otherwise.

It hurt his ears.  He wanted to curl up on himself.  But, of course, all he could do was stare blankly. 

He didn’t know where they were when they landed, but when they did, they were met by even more disturbing and armed to the teeth men and women. 

Loki started to talk about business deals – that’s all Danny could catch after the beating his ears had taken – but the situation devolved rapidly into violence, both sides shooting. 

Danny… stood still and did nothing.  He had not, after all, been told to do anything.  For a moment, he panicked internally, because gun battles weren’t places he wanted to be while human, but then he made the not at all disturbing discovery that, when his brain was disconnected, intangibility was reflexive. 

(Okay, it was actually massively disturbing, but Danny was mostly just glad that he wasn’t bleeding out from a bullet hole in his gut.)

“Boy!” snapped Loki.  “To me!”  The alien waved his hand, and Danny felt something cold and almost-not-quite like the Ghost Zone wash through the area.

With a flare of light, the airport tarmac was filled with duplicates of Loki. 

“Defend me,” barked the real Loki. 

Danny obeyed.  That, at least, was going to be one order he couldn’t throw off at all.  Too simple.  Too short.  Too in line with what he was as Phantom.

They retreated into a hanger, both sides of the battle taking cover behind or underneath planes and maintenance equipment.

“Take them down!” ordered Loki, pointing. 

Well.  English was a funny language.  ‘Them’ could refer to oh so many things.  Planes for example.  Or walls.  Roofs, even. 

He spread his arms and sent ectoplasm flying in all directions.

.

“Were you trying to kill me?” roared Loki, hand resting on, but not yet constricting around, Danny’s throat.  The battle was well and truly over, but only just.  Dust sifted from Loki’s hair and shoulders.

“No,” said Danny, honestly.  Case in point: Loki was still alive.

Loki barred his teeth.  There was a surprising amount of humor in the expression.  “Oh, you think you’re clever, don’t you, little ghost?”

“Not usually,” said Danny. 

“Ha!  Well, I’ve been thinking about how to bring you to heel since

.

Danny exhausted and pulled apart.  Fenton wanting to go one way under the pull of the scepter, Phantom steadfastly refusing to budge.  Loki could ask questions.  More importantly, he could make an entire Fortune 500 company’s worth of elite lawyers cry. 

Maybe he should have waited to act out, played at obedience until he could do something, until he could figure out how to escape.  Too late for that now. 

“To summarize,” said Loki, “you will stay at my side.  You will not harm me, either through action or inaction.  If I am in danger, you will protect me.  You will not create situations in which I will be harmed.  Do you understand?”

“Yes,” said Danny, hating the word as it forced its way past his lips. 

“Good,” said Loki. 

.

They had a base, now. 

Danny wasn’t sure who it had belonged to originally, but now it was Loki’s.  They’d had to fight for it.  Danny hoped that when the SHIELD agents woke up, they didn’t remember what they’d done. 

There was a lab in the base, a pretty good one, too, if Danny was any judge.  Dr. Selvig’s delight upon seeing it made Danny nervous. 

Everyone else was running around, putting things together, setting things up.  Danny was standing next to Loki, as was becoming usual. 

Loki, meanwhile, was…  Meditating?  Sleeping?  Did Loki’s type of alien even need sleep?  Judging by the way he’d been making everyone work, sleep was a foreign concept to him, regardless. 

Something felt wrong. 

Yes, yes, he was being mind controlled by a megalomaniac alien.  Of course something felt wrong. 

This was something different.  Something… 

Loki began to twitch, his breath coming faster.  That scream of wrongness peaked and Danny reached out, grasping Loki’s shoulder, letting his hand phase in just a little bit, just enough to brush against Loki’s mind and—

Loki gasped.  “You!” he said, his eyes finding Danny’s.  “You—What—Why?”  His eyes went narrow and sharp with the last word. 

“You were in danger,” said Danny, neutrally. 

Loki regarded him for a long moment.  Danny could tell they were both disturbed.  Whatever had just happened was not right.  Was that related to whoever was controlling Loki?

“Very well,” said Loki.  He stood up.  “Come with me,” he said.  “We have much to do.”

[blisschi]

Hi, can i request a zhongli x male reader angst to fluff hanahaki au where male reader was a God a long time ago who died to hanahaki because of zhongli and guizhong, but male reader is resurrected as a mortal and zhongli sees them again

Hey! I'm not completely sure if that is what you meant nonnie, but this idea was stuck in my head for a while now and I just had to write it! It's certainly not one of my best pieces but.. I hope you like it.. 💕

🌸In another life🌸

Pairing: Zhongli x Hanahaki! M! Reader

Warnings: Major Character Death, Angst to Fluff..? I think.. It's really bittersweet.

Notes: u_u ... I can't english

Zhongli turned his head towards the storyteller, who clearly caught his attention with the words that just left his mouth. Although for most people it was unknown, forgotten, Zhongli never forgot a single event in the story he started.

"Once upon a time, there was a young god who loved every creature in Tayvat."

He lowered the cup that he was holding, focusing his attention on the words of the story.

They always started out the same.

"The god that loved every creature in Tayvat, the same god that would offer everything to everyone by his love, lost life."

They always ended the same way.

Zhongli closed his eyes and took a deep breath, remembering the moment he met the young man with a smile on his face.

The man told him that he was visiting Liyue out of sheer curiosity, and that he was coming back to it out of curiosity as well.

"Do you think I could be any kind of a threat to you?" You laughed softly, turning your head towards your friend. Although you were a weak god and you were far from strong, somehow the Geo Archon decided to devote a moment of his attention to you. The moment that sprouted into feeling.

Morax smiled slightly and walked closer to you, gazing out at the sea of ​​clouds.

"Things that are dangerous, not often have to look like a threat."

Just like love.

Love can be beautiful, but won't it turn into poison in the blink of an eye as soon as you lose control of it?

Like flowers, can delight with their amazing charm, when their roots must dig into the very center of the heart, almost breaking it.

"He taught him to understand."

"The young god introduced himself by the name [Y / N]. He befriended Rex Lapis, despite different views and observations." The storyteller continued.

Zhongli looked down at his cup, half full of tea. His mind was full of the thoughts he always chose to leave to himself. He thought that from the mortals, he probably would never hear this name again.

Morax sighed softly, smiling as you pulled his hand along the fields of flowers. He never really understood why you loved them so much, but he could accept that the time you spent with them made you feel relaxed.

"You have some really beautiful plants here, you know?" You laughed as you let go of his hand and ran to one of the trees, immediately sitting under it. The other male calmly approached you and watched as one of the butterflies sat on your finger.

Maybe it was your charm that all creatures loved so much? Until then, he was unable to answer this question. Why did he choose to protect you? Is it because he really thought you were a dear friend to him? Maybe it was because you seemed so vulnerable and weak, just making him feel pity.

You lifted your hand up, showing the creature to your friend. It's wings were golden that gleamed like the light of the setting sun.

"It's so small. but it was not afraid to sit on my finger.. just like I was not afraid to make contact with you, Morax." Glistening pupils looked at you now, taking their attention away from the butterfly. "If you wanted to, I would have been lying underground a long time ago. If you only thought that I was a threat.. ha.."

You laughed softly as you watched the butterfly fly away from your sight.

"You wouldn't hesitate to attack me, would you?"

"He taught him to look up to the future."

Sometimes being weak has its advantages. Not everyone sees you as their enemy, the stronger will usually ignore you, or offer help caused by feelings of pity. Pity over your existence and weakness.

Where do you see this land in a few hundred years, Morax? It was one of your first questions to him that he had to think seriously about. Of course, he cared about Liyue, but admittedly he never thought about what everything would look like in the future.

Will he still dominate these beautiful landscapes? Will he still be able to be called their Archon?

"He taught him to take care."

Zhongli smiled, closing his eyes. He would never have thought it would end this way. True, his life was not over, but the divine era certainly came to an end. People, although weak - will cope.

A soft laugh broke the silence in the room as you ran one hand through the god's hair. This was one of those days where you spent time together, without any worries. You gently braided Morax's hair, smiling to yourself.

"Maybe you should wear this hairstyle more often?" You asked, gently tangling some pieces of flowers into his hair. He just closed his eyes and relaxed in the feeling of your touch. Your hands always seemed extremely delicate. "No? The great god who rules over all Liyue doesn't have time to spend a few minutes making a hairstyle?"

"I didn't say anything." The man sighed and turned to face you. "Why should I worry about a trivial thing like my hair?"

You raised your eyebrows and tilted your head slightly, apparently surprised by his answer.

"Isn't it nicer to look at Liyue when everything is in its place?" You asked, getting up from the ground and placing both of your hands on his shoulders. "If you take care of every smallest element.. eventually these elements will fit together and create perfection.. No matter if it is the perfect weapon.. power.. or hairstyle.."

You were happy watching your friend become attached to more people. At first you enjoyed it, you thought you helped him open up to the world. On your journey together, you met a large number of amazing beings, but suddenly one goddess appeared that seemed to take the person dearest to you away.

"The young god taught him feelings that Rex Lapis did not understand before. He helped him open up to new things, to new people."

Zhongli gritted his teeth as he remembered the rest of the story. Even though you taught him so much, he still understood so little back then.

"[Y / N] had feelings for Morax stronger than to any other being. But it was not his will that made the love strong." The storyteller continued, drawing the attention of more people. "For one-sided love is the strongest. For one-sided love hurts the most."

Goddess of dust, beautiful and gentle, good-hearted and wise. She was a weak god, just like you, maybe that was why Morax had paid more attention to her back then? Maybe he forgot that in fact your strenght was nothing, but his presence near you. He spent every free moment with the goddess. You dreamt that he could give you more attention, but apparently it was not given to you.

You taught him so much and all he offered you was jealousy. Jealousy was eating you from the inside as you saw the goddess slowly pull Morax towards her. It hurt your heart when you had the opportunity to meet a man less and less. But you yourself didn't have the heart to stop it all, because you knew that this goddess meant well for him.

You understood that it was easy to fall in love with someone like him.

"The years passed, the gods drifted apart. The young god was helping Rex Lapis to understand the newer and newer feelings that the goddess had helped him to experience this time."

You understood that you are not the only one who deserves this feeling to be returned.

Zhongli shook his head and opened his eyes, staring at his reflection in the already cold tea. If he knew you thought so.. If he knew he was slowly breaking your heart while spending time with the goddess, it would have all ended differently.

Anyway, it never came out of his mouth that they were 'just friends', it never came out of his mouth that they were something more..

Zhongli clenched his fist, remembering your last moments with him. He remembered your tears, your painful, but smiling face.

"Over time, his feelings did not diminish, but bloomed like the flower buds that he admired so much on his first visit to Liyue. The feeling became unbearable, breaking his heart, hurting him, making him even weaker. The young god then wanted the feeling of love to become something alien to him. "

He remembered you asking him to tell you one of the old stories that he once told you at the beginning of your friendship.

"Why do you suddenly want to hear it? I must say, it's not one of the most interesting ones.."

You laughed quietly, but apart from the laughter, a choked cough escaped your mouth, which you tried to hide with all your might.

"It just.. this story really brings me good memories.. remember? You told it to me when we were sitting under the same tree.. years ago.."

Morax closed his eyes and leaned against the tree, staring up at the sky.

"Well then.."

Zhongli stared at his hands placed on the table in front of him. If he himself lost his life, would he be able to meet you again?

"It was their last meeting. The young god left after him nothing but flowers, which slowly choked him from the inside. Rex Lapis never lost the abilities he had received from his friend. Rex Lapis never forgot, he carried his feelings to the end. One can only hope that after the death of the God of Geo, the two met again."

"Master Zhongli, right?" A soft voice snapped him out of his thoughts, making him look up at the person that called his name. "Can I sit here?"

A joyful smile on the face of a stranger, unusually similar to the smile of a young god who left this world many years ago. The same gaze, that looked at his face with love and affection.

Zhongli nodded slightly, not taking his eyes away from the face of the newly met person.

"I see you here a lot, so I figured I'd introduce myself!" The male laughed, painting a smile on Zhongli's face as he reached towards the consultant. "[Y/N]."

"Maybe in another life, they'll be happy together'."

[platoniclokiimagines]

Hello Mama Loki, it's Kacey (Clint), I'm still alive and kicking and recently watched Venom, so I've fallen into Symbiote hell. I was wondering how Loki would react to Best Friend hiding the fact that they have a Symbiote for months, then suddenly it just pops out during a fight or something?? (Sorry for bothering you and sorry I haven't been around lately)

W/C: 730

Rating: G

TW: None

A/N: First of all, no apologies necessary, except maybe on my part because this prompt is like two years old and I don’t think ANY of has been in the Platonic Family Discord in about the same time length, as well. Also, I took a crash course in Symbiotes on Quora to write this, so I hope it’s Accurate because I know nothing about them aside from having seen Venom a handful of times, and Spider-Man 3 maybe twice literal decades ago. But I hope you enjoy this~

Your particular skillwas not something that could casually come up in conversation.

It wasn’t that you were ashamed that you had a Symbiote. Notat all. In some ways, it was almost comforting. Like a warm hug that never leftyou. A constant friend that was always at your side, figuratively and literally. You were never alone.

But for all the goodparts of having a Symbiote, there were also some… less than thrilling sideeffects. Sometimes you felt like you were a different person due to the literalalien creature tethered to your body. There was a negative stigma surroundingthe very idea of bonding with a Symbiote after everything that had happened inSan Francisco. You were never alone.

And so you had found it much easier to simply not mention what your power was,whenever the conversation was brought up. You’d avoid training with anyone, outof fear of judgment and what would surely be an endless barrage of questionsabout the situation, you’d change the subject with a nonchalant grace you’dhoned perfectly in your want to keep your secret hidden for just a little whilelonger.

And it worked.

No one ever pushed anything further, and you took care totrain only when everyone else was sleeping or away from the Compound.

The closer you became with Loki, however, the harder itbecame to continue the façade of pretending you didn’t hear someone else’svoice in your head ninety-nine percent of the time. You could tell Loki wassuspicious about something,especially when you would have a bit of a personality snap as your Symbiotelashed out, or would be so absolutely exhausted from training half the nightthat you were nearly falling asleep in your cereal.

You went the better half of a year before your secret cameto light.

It was supposed to be a simple mission. Just you and Loki, sentto monitor a minor situation happening in the city, but it had turned much moreviolent than both of you had predicted, and so you’d had to intervene.Unfortunately for you, interveningmeant that your Symbiote was a part of the fight, as well, whether you liked itor not.

After that, the fight was over rather quickly. Fights oftenwere, once the Symbiote came out to play, and as you closed your eyes, lettingit sink back in so that you could come back to yourself, you could feel Loki’sgaze on you.

“Y/N, what wasthat?” Loki’s voice was calm, but you could hear the edge of absolutebewilderment to it.

“….you just met my Symbiote.” You finally opened your eyes,expecting Loki to be looking at you like you were a monster.

“…does it hurt?” Loki’s voice held such genuine curiosity and worry that you couldn’t help but tohuff out a laugh.

“Ah… No. No, not... Not really. I mean, it’s… weird, sometimes, but… but not really painful.” You shrugged a shoulder,relaxing a little, now that you knew Loki at least didn’t seem to want to runfor the hills.

“…why did you never say anything?”

Again, you shrugged, looking at your feet awkwardly. “I supposeI was… a little worried that you might think me some kind of… monster orsomething.”

“Y/N, you are my friend.Just because you have this weird… thing-”

“Symbiote. She doesn’t like being called a thing.” You feltbad for interrupting, but you just needed to set that straight to avoid neverhearing the end of it in your head on loop.

“…my apologies. Just because you have a Symbiote doesn’tmean that I’m going to think you’re a terrible person, and certainly not amonster. Look at me. I’m literallythe monster Asgardian parents tell their children about at night. But you don’t think I’m a monster, do you?”

“Well… No…”

“Well, alright then. We’re all fine. Yes?” Loki patted yourshoulder gently, watching you intently until you nodded in agreement.

“Yeah… Sorry I never said anything.”

“It’s okay. I understand why you didn’t.” They patted yourshoulder again, and then straightened up. “Shall we head back to the Compound?Relax for the evening, get some dinner? What sounds good?”

You grinned. “Tater tots and chocolate.”

“…that’s a new one.” But Loki only shrugged as the both ofyou started walking. “Now. Tell me more about your Symbiote.”

[cjsinkythoughts]

FATWS One Shot #2 - The Beginning of a Family

Word Count: 1804

Warnings: Cursing, Mentions of Human Trafficking (once, it was a mission Reader did), Minor Character Injury

Setting/Characters: The first half-ish of The Avengers in 2012; Reader, Steve Rogers, Nick Fury, Natasha Romanoff, Tony Stark, Bruce Banner, Thor, Mentions of Loki, Phil Coulson, and Clint Barton, OC!Agent Anderson

A/N: Here’s One Shot Number 2! I was thinking of making it longer and adding the actual Battle of Manhattan, but I dunno if I’m gonna do that. I just wanted these to be One Shots of first meetings and other smaller events. I didn’t want to do scene-for-scene two parters. If you want me to, I can, I don’t mind doing it, I just wasn’t planning on it. I’ve kinda been slacking today, which is why I haven’t cranked out more than this one, but I’ll see if I can finish one more for tonight. Tomorrow’s another late night for me at work, BUT! Tomorrow night FATWS comes out! So I will be doing the next Episode! I also don’t have Friday off this week, so the Parts might bleed into Saturday, but they will come this weekend!

Reminder that this has nothing to do with FATWS the show, but I don’t have a title for my FATWS Series, which is what these are based off of, so this is what they’re called for now! If you have any ideas for names, feel free to send them in! I’m just too lazy to come up with something clever for the whole Series.

Thank you so much for reading! As always, not beta’d so please excuse any mistakes! Be kind to yourselves and others! Stay tuned and enjoy!

FATWS Masterlist

cjsinkythoughts Masterlist

You were exhausted, coming back from an assignment that lasted a little over two months. It’d been your first one since you were assigned to help Steve adjust, and you were guessing they’d keep you on desk duty for a few months before sending you back out again. Which frustrated you to no end.

But then you got back your personal cell phone from a fellow agent and, seeing you had a few  voicemails - which you never had - you flipped it on.

“Hi, Y/N.” Your lips turned up at the man you started growing close to over the past year. “I-I know you’re on a mission right now. I mean, you just left last week. Anyways, I just…I hope you’re doin’ okay. You probably won’t get this until later, but…still. I hope you’re safe. I, uh, I got that book. The one you were joking about me getting. The U.S. History for Dummies one. It goes farther back than I need to know, but I still read all of it. It helped. I wish you were here though. But I know you’re working. And that’s important. Um… I guess I’ll see you in a few months.”

The phone beeped before the next message played. “I took your advice. I got a sketchbook and some other stuff. There’s a ton of new supplies. I’m kinda excited to try them out. Maybe they’re not new but they’re more accessible now than they used to be. And I found a gym. In Brooklyn. It’s kinda run down - a hole in the wall type place - but they don’t do memberships and they don’t care how long you stay as long as you pay for your time. So that’s nice. I guess. Anyways…hi. I don’t think I said that earlier. It’s Steve, by the way. But you probably guessed that. Um…that’s all. I just wanted to let you know. Stay safe, honey. Abbyssinia.”

You listened to the next couple ones, all along the same lines. Steve telling you about his day; about the dog he was allowed to pet on his run or the different coffee he tried this morning at your previous suggestion. You snickered a little, shaking your head. You would never guessed that Hitler hitting, Nazi punching Captain America was so…soft. Cute.

His last voicemail was from earlier that morning, and it made her brow furrow. “Hey, honey. I, uh…God, I really wish you were here. I was told you’d be getting back last week, but then they said it might be another couple weeks because something happened? I hope nothing happened. Please be okay. I’ve really missed you. I know it’s only been a year, but…you’re the only familiar thing I have right now. I guess Fury was right to choose you since you were the first person I saw. There’s a, uh, problem. Fury’s got a mission for me. Some guy named Loki stole the Tesseract. Which was HYDRA’s secret weapon. That blue cube thing. I was just getting used to laptops and fast food and this…it’s just a lot. Overwhelming. You were always good at making things less intimidating. I’ve gotta go. Some SHIELD personnel are picking me up now. We’re going to…somewhere. I’m sure you would know, but they haven’t exactly told me. Hoping to see you soon, Y/N. Please be safe.”

You frowned at the information, looking up at one of your fellow agents, Anderson. “Hey.” He turned his head towards you from his conversation with the copilot. “Is something going on at HQ?”

“The Helicarrier.” Anderson corrected. “Fury just called it in. Something with the Tesseract. And some guy’s mind controlling people. He’s got Barton, apparently. The director is bringing a few people on board; Banner, Stark, Romanoff. Rogers, too, I heard. He wants you to be there ASAP, so we’re going there now.”

Letting out a sigh, you rubbed your eyes and nodded. “Alright. Let’s go see what’s going on.”

*************************

Fury met you as you walked off the jet, lugging your duffle bag over your shoulder. You were still in your clothes from the mission; a human trafficking ring in Guam. Dirty, torn up jeans along with a white tank top hugging your torso and a flannel, unbuttoned, over your shoulders. One of your sneakers had a hole in it, too, and you were walking with a slight limp from the dislocated kneecap you got a few days prior.

“Agent.” He nodded in greeting, passing you a file. “The others are waiting. We just brought in Loki.”

You chewed your cheek, narrowing your eyes as you scanned the information in the file. It had personal files of the others, but you didn’t need to look through those. You knew Natasha very well, considering she taught you half the things you know, along with Barton. You knew Stark - of course you did - especially after you helped set Natasha up to be his secretary a while back. Banner you were also knowledgeable about, seeing as you went undercover to find him when he first took off and had been part of the tracking team on him ever since. Thor you had learned about after his fiasco in New Mexico from Coulson. And, last but certainly not least, Steve Rogers, who you knew better than any file could explain.

“Walk me through this; Thor and Loki are the real Thor and Loki? Like, from Norse myths?”

“Apparently so. You know about the New Mexico incident with the two last year, don’t you?”

You nodded, pinching your lips together tightly. “Well, yeah, but I thought…I dunno. I guess it just didn’t click. So,” you tucked the file under your arm securely, raising an eyebrow at Fury. “We’re fighting a god? An actual god?”

“With an army of aliens.” He confirmed.

“Wonderful.” You huffed as the two of you turned a corner, making your way onto the bridge, just in time to hear Stark talking to Banner about him turning into the Hulk.

“Dr. Banner is only here to track the cube.” Fury butted in. You crossed your arms behind Fury, leaning on your good leg. “I was hoping you might join him. Before you do, this is-” 

“Y/N! You’re back!”

You shot a grin to the blonde, who perked up upon seeing you. “Hi, Steve. Just in time, too, huh.” You nudged Natasha slightly. “Hey, Nat. Sorry about Clint.”

She shrugged. “I’m just glad you’re here to help.”

“I’m sorry.” You looked over to find Banner frowning contemplatively at you. “Do I know you?”

You opened your mouth to answer, but Fury beat you to it. “Formalities later. Y/L/N, we’ll bring you up to speed-”

“I’ll get there, sir. How are you boys planning on tracking down the Tesseract?” You questioned, nodding in the two geniuses’ direction.

“I’d start with that stick of his.” Steve suggested, turning to look at the duo as well. “It may be magical but it works an awful lot like a HYDRA weapon.”

“I don’t know about that, but it is powered by the Cube.” Fury stated. “And I’d like to know how Loki used it to turn two of the sharpest men I know into his personal flying monkeys.”

A tall, broad as hell blonde looked at Fury, confused. “Monkeys? I do not understand-”

“I do!” Steve jumped in, pointing at Thor, before leaning back in his seat at the silence that came after his exclamation. “I-I understood that reference.”

You chuckled and shook your head, winking at Steve when he smiled bashfully at you. As the two scientists - was Stark a scientist? - started heading out, Steve hopped up, padding over to you.

“You’re back early.”

“Late, technically.” You shrugged, letting him pull you in for a hug, your hand rubbing his back. “I got your calls.”

He pulled away, his ears turning red. “Oh, yeah. I, uhm-”

You sniggered. “It’s fine, Steve. You can call me whenever you need to. I’m just sorry I couldn’t answer you sooner.”

“You were working.” He shrugged half heartedly. “Did it go okay? Are you okay?”

“Yes, Steven. I’m fine.” You rolled your eyes just as a yawn threatened to escape your lips. “If not a little tired.” You tapped on the star against his chest. “Nice suit, by the way.”

“Ha ha.” He grinned, eyeing your own clothing. “You’re matching me.” He tugged on the red, white, and blue flannel hanging from your arms. “You also look like shit.”

You snorted. “Wow. What a gentleman. Let’s get this whole Loki situation over with so I can go to bed, yeah?”

He chuckled a little with a nod. “Sounds like a plan, honey.” The two of you started out of the bridge. “You should shower first, though.”

“You’re a bully, you know that?”

“I’m just sayin’!”

“I’m just sayin’!” You mocked with a huff. “Leave me be, Rogers.”

His laughter was cut short, making you look over at him curiously, only to find his slitted eyes studying your movements. “Why are you limping?”

“Relax, Captain. I just dislocated my knee. It’s fine. Shit happens on missions, you know that.”

“Is that why you came back late?”

Shaking your head, you lead him to one of the private rooms the Helicarrier had so you could shower and change. “No. I just needed a little more time. That’s all. Now let’s focus on the problem at hand. We can talk more later.”

He hesitated, leaning against the doorway and watching you set your bag on the small cot.  “Okay. As long as you’re alright.”

Your heart jumped a bit at the concern laced in his tone, the apprehension in those blue eyes - which you found out had some green in them - making your breath hitch slightly. “I am.” You spoke softly with a firm nod of your head, trying to assure him and his worries. “I promise.”

“I’m gonna go check on Banner and Stark, then. Come find me when you’re done.”

You cleared your throat to recover yourself, throwing him a cheeky grin. “Aye, aye, Captain.”

He rolled his eyes with a smile, before turning and walking out, leaving you alone and confused.

What was that? You’d never had that reaction to anything. Your heart doesn’t race whenever someone walks in the room. Not like it did with him. What the hell did that even mean?

You shook your head, clearing your throats. You didn’t have time to dwell on that now. You doubted it was anything more than a fluke. You were just tired and seeing someone familiar, who was genuinely excited to see you was like a breath of fresh air after your operation. That’s all. Yeah.

With that decided, you headed to the shower, head spinning with new thoughts of this problem with the God of Mischief and that stupid blue cube.

All Works Taglist (Open):

@happygoreading​ @bibliophilewednesday​

[literaila]

always, kitchen floor

loki x gn! reader 

summary/request: reader is tony’s sibing, they’ve had a fight with him. loki just happens to be there... and again, a while later. 

content warning: alcohol, fighting, sibling things, murder. 

*

so you weren’t expecting the crash.

so you weren’t exactly the picture of grace on the floor.

so you weren’t supposed to be in here.

it’s not like he knew that. but what he did know was that as soon as he bashed into the room, you were falling towards the floor.

the small chuckle you could hear from behind the cabinet did not soothe any anger you were feeling. it was just digging itself a deeper hole in your chest, just making itself a home while whoever had scared you laughed along. it might’ve made you angrier.

“it’s alright,” an unrecognizable voice said, low and sour. someone was moving around. you didn’t even attempt to get up off the floor. you didn't care. 

“i’ve been told i have that effect,”

an audible sigh from you made the movement stop.

you closed your eyes, rapped your head against the floor softly. this was only one of the many things you couldn't deal with right now. a human interaction, a conversation. an effort. maybe you’d drunk a bit too much, maybe this was a dream.

you really didn’t want to get up. you were hoping for a hallucination. anything non-real.

“do i know you?” you croak out instead of crying. at least, if you’re going to die, you’ll get to know who killed you. at least, if you have to do this now, you can call the bastard by their name. 

“probably,” the voice sings out. perfect.

probably.

you stop your head, squeeze your eyes until they sting. you’re not sure why you’re not supposed to be in here again, but maybe it has something to do with this.

meeting perfect strangers you probably know.

“do you have a name?” you croak— again —your patience gone from every trace of your body. your effort extinguished from the fire that is building in your chest. the fire that's been there a while. 

“the god of mischief.”

you sit up. only a little. just enough to lean your head towards the voice.

it’s not like you were expecting that response.

“excuse me?” you say in your half-deflated, half surprised voice. your neck is straining from the glance you’re trying to get at the voice, but you keep attempting to lift your head

the footsteps start again, and it’s only a moment before the person comes into view.

before you see them, you hear the bells ringing in your head. this isn’t your house, this isn’t their house. you don’t know this person, and you’re acting completely sane.

it’s honestly not that bad of a situation.

it only takes one more pinch of your ligaments for your eyes to meet their face.

for your brain to touch them with all the memories you have.

probably.

yeah, well, probably was right.

maybe you’re starstruck for a moment, maybe your eyes widen, and maybe you’re staring at this giant person in front of you for way too long.

it doesn’t matter, because in what seems like a second to you, you lay back down. close your eyes.

“i’ve seen you on the news,” you say, a nonchalant mention, a passing sentence.

you were wrong, then. an alien interaction. 

the god of mischief— actually, if the news anchor from earlier had anything to say about it —is standing right next to you. right next to your practically dead body, and you don’t move an inch.

you’re sure you can feel his eyes on you, but you don’t check. who cares, anyway? hes going to kill you soon. 

“have you?” he asks, an annoying disruption to your wallowing.

you grunt, don’t say anything else.

it’d be nice not to die in your own home. at least then no one will have to clean up any blood. they can sell the apartment again. it’d be nice to watch your brother's face as a ghost when he realizes. it’d be nice to get your revenge in the form of a bloodstain on the hardwood. it's a terrible thought that almost fills you with glee.

loki, who moves past you, opening cabinets and carrying around a ridiculous scepter (?) does not turn to look at you when he asks

“you’re not supposed to be here, are you?”

your snort is nothing more than a yes. is it really that obvious? i mean, yes, you look pretty bad, but that shouldn’t indicate to him that you’re in the wrong place.

he shouldn’t know that already.

“what makes you say that?”

loki puts down the bottle he’d been messing with, some expensive thing your brother would kill him for touching. not that you’re going to tell him that, you don't really mind. he turns and bangs his scepter against the ground, not completely on accident. “this countertop is engraved ‘tony stark’”

you roll your eyes, but he doesn’t notice.

“and, from what i’ve seen on the news” he teases the unfamiliar word around his lips “you aren’t him”

“ha,” you say, voice void of any emotion. it must really be that obvious, even to a god who has only been on earth for a few days and has never met you before. even to you, who’s been trying to catch up to tony for so long. “you’ve got me,” 

you grab the bottle you have next to you, the bottle you’ve been cradling all night in your hands like its some childhood blanket you dont want to let go of, and take a sip. its hard on the floor, and that fact is maybe the only thing that could actually convince you to sit up at this moment. 

so you do, and you look loki straight in the eyes while taking another sip. 

theres still half a bottle left, you dont really need to slow down. 

loki looks amused, looks so much less threatening than you would’ve thought after watching him get a group of well over a hundred people to kneel before him. so much less threatening without his words to back him up. or maybe, thats what makes him a villain. 

he looks kind of cute. 

“can i help you?” you say then, looking him in the eyes, bottle in hand. its your best impression of a salesperson, but he doesn't know that. hes just a god, after all, hes just a murder, definitely. 

“actually yes,” he moves towards you, scepter banging, his voice a slow river. “i was looking for someone-” 

“if its tony, you’re fresh out of luck, mr. mischief,” you sigh and stand up, pretending not to notice the substantial difference in heights between the two of you. “it would seem i’ve run him off,” you pause, take a sip, hold your finger up in a gesture for him to wait. “must’ve been my ceaseless charm.” 

loki doesnt say anything, just watches you with irritating eyes and waits for you to take another drink. you do, but not because of him. you’re thirsty, obviously. 

you hate that hes already predicting your movements, you hate that he looks so calm. you hate that if you werent still in your right mind you would probably tackle him without a moments notice. 

still, you watch him anyway. this isnt scary. nothing is scary right now, not even the prospect of death and the murderer in the room. not when you’ve just been left alone in this stupid building while tony runs off to do something else. 

not when your voice still hurts from screaming at him. 

“when will he be back?” loki asks, interrupting your thoughts and looking you up and down. any other day, you might’ve taken it as a compliment, might’ve smiled at him.

“never, if i had anything to say about it.” 

loki doesnt hesitate. “you seem awfully angry for such an angelic-looking person,” 

you snort, turn around to go searching through the cupboards again. “and you seem awfully murdery for a god,” 

“you’d be surprised,” he moves forward, leans his scepter against a chair, and continues to watch you. something about this, something about him is easing that feeling in your chest. the annoyance is almost gone, you know, if it werent for the fact that hes still certainly going to kill you. 

you know that he’d brainwashed other people, maybe thats what was happening now. 

you grunt instead of answer and grab a glass. its strange, this need you feel to keep him from murdering you. loki watches with curious eyes as you poor some of your bottle in the glass, then offer it to him. 

in fact, his eyes almost bludge out of his head as soon as you lift it towards him. 

“you’re giving this to me?” 

you smirk instead of scoffing, as a peace offering. “is it really that obvious?” 

he doesnt acknowledge the snide but takes the glass with careful hands. maybe he thinks humans have murderous cups. maybe hes just very untrusting. it doesnt matter, it makes you smile anyway. 

you grab the bottle, now more than half gone, and take a sip as loki thinks deeply about this drink you’ve given him. at least he isnt asking you why you’re angry anymore. 

“is it good?” he asks while staring at the contents of the glass. 

“you could just try it, you know.” 

he quirks a brow. sets the glass down on the counter. takes a step back. “how do i know you havent poisoned it?” 

you set your bottle down, lean your hands on the counter, and lean closer to him in a challenge. “you, quite literally, just watched me pour it.” 

loki considers this, tilts his head, and then steps forward and takes the glass. you laugh when he sniffs at it, but watch with hopeful eyes as he finally takes a sip. 

then promptly gags. 

“humans are disgusting creatures,” he says while gagging, moving far away from the glass. 

“and thats why you’ve come to conquer us, right?” you’re still smirking, still sipping, and still wondering what the hell this god is doing here. 

“think of it as a favor,” hes wincing, opening his mouth in what looks like an effort to get the taste out of his mouth. but still, he doesnt threaten you, doesnt curse you out, doesnt accuse you of poisoning him again. but then, he looks up. “in return, you might tell me where stark is?” 

there. thats it. no threatening, no murdering, no accusation. but still, he just wants something. your brother, of course. 

whats different from usual? 

“i dont know,” you answer, smile gone, moving away. you make sure to take the bottle with you, wherever you turn to go. wherever you want to run away to. 

you dont know, you’re not sure. this place is so big, and all of it is a prison you’ll never actually leave. the curse of blood relations. 

loki though, stops you before you can even attempt to leave, before you can make your escape before you start sobbing to this god who isnt even here for you. 

really, you should be thankful, really, you shouldnt care this much. really, you should’ve left ten minutes ago. you’re not even supposed to be here. 

the thought fills you with dread. effort, effort and pain. 

“you dont know?” he asks, doubtful. as if he knows you, as if he can already tell you’re lying. you scoff, then scoff again. damn the god of mischief, and damn your brother. arrogance does not look good on anyone. 

you try to push past him, shaking your head with hurt eyes that arent really for him. you try to move forward, but hes so much bigger than you, and hes got the upper hand. he knows you wont try to murder him, no matter what he wants to do to everyone on earth. 

“you are related to him, are you not?” another question, another shot of fuel to the fire that you thought had burned out. to the flame inside of you that doesnt seem to leave. 

“i dont like that you know that,” you say it softly, much softer than you mean to, and without noticing take a step back. put up the walls, so to say. get away from this alien that knows more about you than you do him. guard yourself before you actually get hurt. 

dont give him yet another reason to yell at you. 

“its not hard to guess. you have...erm” he pauses, looking small, looking more nervous, looking anything but godly. “the same mannerisms. and you talk a bit like each other.” 

you frown. dammit. 

“also, the way you talk of him reminds me of my brother.” 

you look up then, look up and see this god, this alien, this murderer that you dont even know. is he drunk now? you wouldnt have thought him to be such a light-weight. 

“okay...” maybe you’re weirded out, or maybe you’re tired, but you try to move away from him anyway. this is effort, and you dont need it. 

“you really dont know?” loki says, before moving out of your way. he sighs, looks defeated now. you’re not lying, but something in you kind of wants you to be. just so he’ll leave you alone, of course. just for some peace. 

just so he stops frowning at the floor. god, you dont even know him. 

and you, you just dont understand. hes the villain, hes evil, so why is he looking so innocent? why arent you scared of him? why havent you run in terror yet?

maybe you’re about to ask something, but loki moves first. he steps back, or forward, and grabs the glass you gave him, again. takes another sip. he doesnt gag this time, doesnt change his expression at all. 

“i thought you hated it?” you ask, shocked by this small thing, hurt still, by his words. maybe by his defeated look. 

loki sighs, smirks, does something with his face you cant comprehend. “its better with disappointment.” 

now its your turn to sigh. you cant leave this alien alone in tony’s kitchen. that’d be rude, plus, curiosity is human. 

its not his fault, really, that he needs to murder your brother. 

you go back, back to the counter, back to the floor, back to loki with his sad eyes and your bottle. you just go back, sitting down on the floor, where you were when he came in, and waiting for him to join you. 

it doesn’t take long, you can feel his cool from the five feet of distance between the two of you. 

its a moment before you ask. “do you really need my brother? i can probably call him.” an olive branch, so to say. 

loki laughs, chortles, something. maybe you’re feeling the effects of the alcohol now. he doesnt speak for a moment, just looks around, observing the room once again. you look with him, wait for his answer, hope its “no”. 

“no, not really.” he pauses, sighs. “well, yes. but, you seem very opposed to seeing him, so i’m guessing talking isnt on the table?” 

“you’d be right,” you take another sip, give him a smile you dont really mean. 

you’re not even sure why you’re here now. this is surreal. this is stupid of you. its in the name. 

“is he really as bad as he seems?” loki asks, tracing something on the floor. maybe gods are similar to humans, because you think you’ve seen this somewhere else. 

you laugh, though, anyway, and forget everything. “not really. hes sort of a good person, he just.. doesnt come off well.” to say the least.  

never has. never liked you much in the first place, but you have memories of him gifting you toys when you were kids. you have laughs, smiles. you had a family, once upon a time. 

you dont tell loki that though, you have enough sense not to. 

“i wonder if my brother would say the same thing about me?” 

and something about the way he says it, something about his face, about his words on the news, all of it. all of it reminds you of where you are, reminds you of who you are, and who you’re trying so hard not to be. 

emotionally compromised, you’re sure. this is a stupid thing to be doing. 

“well, you were going to murder me.” its a joke, but its better than what you wanted to say. its better than the truth you want to tell to this stranger you’ve just met. this god who feels peaceful somehow, behind all the terror. 

loki scoffs, so you know its okay, so you know you havent said the wrong thing yet. you know you havent gone insane, not yet, not now. 

“i would never murder someone so beautiful,” 

and maybe its the alcohol, maybe its your fight with your brother, maybe its loki’s kind words, maybe its everything. maybe you really are insane. maybe you’re angry enough for this to seem okay. maybe you’re stronger than you think, than tony thinks, to be here. maybe it’ll turn out okay. 

it doesnt matter, because the next thing you say, changes lots of things. 

“i guess you’re not so bad.” 

* 

“i’m old enough-” 

“you’re a child.” 

“tony, you dont get to decide whats best for me! in case you forgot, you’re only my brother. not my dad, he already died-” 

“in case you forgot, i’m in charge. you’re the most irresponsible, reckless person, and you’re not leaving here until i say so.” 

“you dont just get to decide-” 

“you will stay here. try not to mess anything else up.” 

*

2 years later.

the hallway is cold while you speed through it. 

you’re not actually moving that fast, but everyone else insists on keeping the air conditioning on at all times, so even the slightest of movements invites the goosebumps to attack your arms. 

maybe you’ll complain some more about it today. its a trivial thing you care about. it matters. 

what else matters? well, theres a meeting-- one you’re late to, who cares? theres a meeting and you were supposed to be there over a half an hour ago. 

but, to be fair, you were sleeping, everyone knows you were sleeping-- what else do you do during the days when they dont invite you anywhere? so why, honestly, would they schedule a meeting for now? why would they expect you to be awake? 

why are you so goddamn late. 

these are the irritating thoughts that get you moving faster to the conference room. these are the things you can think about while you prepare your excuse out loud, and hope that no one is listening. 

and these are the thoughts that you’re thinking as you crash through the door. 

literally. 

“oops,” you mutter before looking up. this is normal for you, but, you could’ve picked a better time to fall on the floor, or any other time rather. you’re already in enough trouble as is, you dont need the shame on top of that. 

it takes a moment, but your eyes glance forward, cautious. they scan the windows, the chairs you can barely see, and hesitantly, they look at the people sitting in them. 

tony, of course, is the first one you see. head of the table as usual. arrogant and staring at you like only a brother can. 

and then, with one more tilt of your head, you see someone else. you see him, sitting next to thor, next to all of these people who are staring at you-- most of them with amusement, all of them with amusement. you see him. 

hes here. 

but, you... you thought? you cant even get up-- now. because now you’re on the floor, and now those memories are flooding back and now, oh god, your brother is coming over to you and you’re still on the floor. 

this is ridiculous, this is impossible, and this is so so embarrassing. 

“loki,” tony starts as he reaches a hand out to you, throwing you a glance that is completely rude and not necessary. “this is y/n, our clumsiest avenger.” you’re sure you can hear him mutter something after that, and judging by the snickers across the room, you’re guessing it wasnt good. none of this is good. 

as soon as you’re standing next to him, you elbow him. small enough no one could see. he deserves it, and honestly, you need it. at least, you can get this shock, these pricks of pain on your heart, out somehow. 

“sorry,” you say, maybe to everyone, maybe to yourself. but you’re still looking at him, and hes still looking at you. you cant stop staring, cant stop, wont stop. 

you wonder if hes thinking the same thing you are. if he remembers like you do. 

loki stands then, presence of a god, smile of a bastard, lips that you’re sure you recognize. is this the same person? the same god of mischief? is this him? really? 

“hi, loki, lovely to meet you.” 

and, hes definitely got to be kidding you. hes definetly got to be joking, right now. 

you dont reach out to grab his hand, you dont move away from tony, and you dont even try to hide the glare from your eyes. you dont even attempt to make an effort. 

really? i mean, really? hes going to just.. 

okay, fine. fine. breathe, smile, breathe, yell. 

theres nothing you want more than to scream at him, in so many ways, for so many reasons. 

“yes, sorry, i dont shake hands. just bodies.” 

theres a chorus of clearing throats across the room. you pretend not to notice. instead, you smile at loki, pretend to also not to notice the threatening eyes tony is trying to throw you. pretend, again and again, that you dont know who this is. 

loki’s hand slowly falls, and he glances toward his brother worriedly, but even that couldnt annoy you more than his face does at this moment. 

“i’ll let you decide how, my prince.” you snide, smile, hate. 

and then, you walk to your sit and promtly sit down. you dont bother to look up from where your glance has landed on the floor. 

and you remain like that for the rest of the meeting. its fine, you’ve already missed half of it anyway. 

who cares? 

* 

“no, but really, where’d you get that?” 

“its asgardian,” loki leans forward, teasing you with his raised eyebrows. 

“i want it. how much?” you lean forward as well, completely serious. alcohol be damned, his scepter will be yours. you’re not one to kid. 

“you cant bargain with me, tiny human. you have nothing i want.” 

“im sure i could think of a few things... you dont even know how to be a proper villain!” you exclaim with a smirk of your own “you’re gonna want money when you’re thrown in jail.” 

“ill just take it off of you when i’ve decided im bored and offed you. plus, i’m a prince. and a god. i dont need money for anything.” 

“ha! like i could ever bore you. you seem awfully interested in me, prince loki.” 

you’re both closer, faces inches apart. really, its just the alcohol talking, but still. 

you’re smiling pretty big. 

*

you’re not sure how you got here again. how you ended up on this floor, in this kitchen, with this bottle, with these thoughts. not sure, but still. you cant really bring yourself to care too much. 

at least your throat doesnt hurt this time. at least you’re older, smarter, and most definitely not drunk. at least its not exactly the same. 

it takes more than that, now. it takes more than anything to make you angry, now. it takes a lot more to push you over the edge. you’ve grown, at least, in that aspect. 

but, you’ve been thinking of this for two years, you’ve been watching and waiting with hopeful eyes and this... this just isnt it. this isnt the dream, this isnt anything like what you’ve wanted. 

you’re still brainwashed and you’re still angry. you’ve been on the edge of the cliff for years now. 

it doesnt take much to fall off. 

you dont even know why, why you’re here, why this is happening, and its making it worse. 

you havent even seen him in two years, so why do you care so much if he wants to pretend that you’ve never met? you havent so much as spoken of him in two years, so why does it matter now that hes here? why is it so significant that he doesnt seem to care? 

you’re a fool. immature, idiotic. you’ve known this, you know this. you could’ve mentioned it every time you sat with hopeful eyes when an alien showed up, when a certain god of a certain storm appeared and you thought that maybe this time, he might’ve taken someone with him. 

you could’ve told yourself this every time you thought of him, every day you’ve thought of that night. you’re ridiculous, hopeless, and drunk. 

you’re drunk now, and you were drunk then. so why does it matter this much?

you’re drunk.

and really, this time you really arent expecting it when he walks in. 

its different from last time, different because you were already on the floor. different because now you’re mad at him, and because now for some reason you cant even explain, you know that its him. you can feel him from across the room. 

and this time, you’ve drunk a lot more. you’ve downed more than half a bottle, and you’re angrier. you’re happier, but so mad.

still, his quiet “hello” into the kitchen leaves your flame sparking. the lights are on, so he knows someone is in here. he knows you’re in here.

you’re not going to answer though, why would you? 

he doesnt repeat it, but his footsteps are clear, not accompanied with the banging of a gold scepter this time, no horns in sight. this is different, but you know exactly whats happening. you know exactly how he looks, now. 

these two years have felt like nothing, these two years of making up with your brother, of dreams of a certain god’s lips, of hoping that one day he might appear again, all of it means nothing now. there are too many memories, and you have known you’re insane for years. 

the footsteps stop again, and you know this time, hes waititng for you to answer. 

you’re drunk. that explains this feeling. you’re drunk now, you were drunk then. loki should leave because you really dont have the energy for fake pleasantries. 

“can i help you?” you ask, and try and breathe while you wait. you’re different now. 

“actually yes,” he says and its quiet. 

it leaves your stomach aching. 

“i’m looking for someone,” 

* 

“no! never, i will never ever-” 

“technically, you just did,” 

“i hate you.” 

loki laughs, throws his head back in a motion that is unnecessarily attractive to you. “you dont even know me, darling.” 

“i can hear your thoughts, actually.” 

you’ve been leaning on him for maybe the past five minutes. you’ve been sharing this second bottle for the last half an hour. somehow, it tastes better when he’s put his lips on it. 

“is this a human trait i’m unaware of?” he sounds so serious you giggle. 

“no, just me. you picked the wrong person to drink with,” 

“and what am i thinking about now, then, since you can hear it?” 

you turn to him, you turn and theres something different in your eyes. 

“exactly what i’m thinking,” you whisper, staring down, staring at him in the same way hes staring at you. 

what are you thinking of? well, thats simple. 

*

“fresh out of luck, prince. theres no one here.” 

your voice is quiet, your head is pounding, but you cant have a hangover already. you cant be sick now, in this moment. 

its not pounding because of that, and you cant even pretend. 

its dark outstide, which you know, considering that its the middle of the night and you shouldnt even be awake. you shouldnt even be in here, considering tony banned you from stealing from his cabinets. considering, you’ve been here before. considering, all of it. 

arent you only supposed to make the same mistake once? 

“really?” he asks in an amused voice you recognize. hes closer now, you can feel it. you can hear it, the goosebumps are all over you. the buzzing started minutes ago. 

you lay down, on the floor, breathing in and out, feeling your stomach clench with every step he takes. this is ridiculous, you should be asleep, he should be on a different planet. 

“its late. go to bed, loki.” your voice is still quiet, but theres a warning in it. 

“i have a vague inkling that you arent strict with bedtime,” 

his voice is stupid, you’re stupid. why are you just sitting on the floor? 

“no, but i am strict about lying. in that, i hate it. go away.” 

maybe he wasnt expecting the sharpness in your voice, or for you to be laying on the floor. but his eyes when he stands over you, his eyes are almost how you remember them. 

* 

“did you brainwash me?” 

you’re breathless. you cant breathe. and you cant be drunk now, because you never want to forget this, you never want him to move away. 

he tastes alien, he tastes different than anything you’ve ever tasted before, and you just cant stop. 

you lean in again, let your mouth be filled with the sweet cold of his. hes cooling you down in only the best kind of way. 

“not yet,” he says, he says and lets his hands roam across your hips, across your skin in a completely tantalizing way. you cant be drunk now, because you’d never feel like this if you were. 

you’re both breathless. you both cant breathe. 

“are you going to?” 

another kiss, another moment, another taste. you want to smile, but that would require you to move away from him, and you just cant do that.

“i dont need to,” he says, he promises. he smiles, and its evil. evil in how much it stops your heart. this cant be happening. “you’ve been dreaming of this.” 

you’re sure, he knows something you dont. hes done something to you, but you cant complain. 

you really can’t stop.

*

“are you upset?” he asks. its nothing he would’ve said before, its not a question that would’ve crossed his mind two years ago. this isnt him. 

you dont know how you know that, but you do. you know. you’ve met him before, and you’ve known him since then. in case he forgot. 

you laugh at the thought, laugh and laugh. you’re drunk. “is that sympathy i detect in the god of mischief’s voice?” you ask, and laugh. 

maybe he’ll leave just because you’re laughing so much. wouldnt that be nice? wouldnt that break your heart again, off you for good, finally?  

“well, you’re definitely intoxicated.” its sarcastic, its serious, and it makes your blood boil. who is he to judge you? who is he to say anything to you? to be here now, and expect you to answer questions?

you sit up, stare at him for too long, and then your face is a scowl hotter than the sun. you hope hes terrified, but you feel so small. you hope hes terrified, but you know hes not. how could he be, when you’re sure you look like a mess, worse than last time? 

“you would know a lot about that, wouldnt you loki? considering you were so drunk that you’ve forgotten all about me?” its rhetorical, its cruel, and it makes his eyes falter the tiniest bit. 

this. this is what you dont need. this is an emotion you never want to feel again, because you’re tired of the anger. you’ve been living it all your life, and you’e tired of it. but maybe thats what drew loki to you, maybe thats what he likes best. maybe thats why hes still standing in front of you. 

maybe thats what makes him a bad guy. 

he doesnt answer, and so you continue. you continue and you should just stop speaking. “excuse me, your highness, but i really just want to be alone right now. so, if you wouldnt mind, i’ve already claimed the kitchen floor.” you laugh, gesture somewhere you dont know. “tony has plenty of other spaces for you to infiltrate.” 

you think maybe its enough. you think hes going to leave, you think you’ll get to be alone for the rest of the night, maybe drink enough to forget that you ever met him, but then hes still standing there. he doesnt move an inch. 

you dont know what hes still doing here. you can see the light reflecting on his face, you can see his blank eyes, you cant see anything in him that you want anymore. of course, except everything. 

“loki,” you groan and stand up. you set the bottle on the counter next to you, and cross your arms. waiting. for anything, for everything. 

“i didnt forget you, and i wasn’t drunk.” 

oh, really? you scoff, scoff and take another sip before answering. 

“well, thats lovely for you, but-” 

“i was trying to be considerate, in case you didnt want your brother to know we’d already met.” 

some part of you, one you left behind two years ago when you woke up all alone, some part of you thinks thats sweet. some part of you wants to smile just because he said it. some part of you. 

the other part, just wants to scream. 

“well, thanks loki, but ‘considerate’ would’ve been, maybe, not leaving me to wake up alone in the morning.” 

really, its time for bed now, so, promptly, you try to past him, you try and try and. 

you’re back in the past again. goddamn, him.

*

“we shouldnt be-” you gasp before you can finish. you gasp and loki laughs against your skin. “this is a kitchen-” 

“there are worse places,” he promises in an awfully smooth voice, a voice you think you’ve maybe been dreaming of for years, a voice you want to drink. you’re intoxicated, and its not the alcohol. 

“loki, i’m drunk, you’re drunk.” 

“i am not drunk,”

“okay, mr. god, but this is still a kitchen.” 

he smiles up at you, kisses your skn again. 

“shh,” he says. 

you gasp again. 

* 

“..i had to leave. i didnt think it would...” he stops, stares at you for a moment before looking down. hes standng in front of you, not letting you move, not letting you think. “i didnt think it would worry you. i’m terribly sorry,” 

it sounds sincere, but then again, so did his promises before. 

“okay, loki.” you relent, you sigh, you take a step back and smile at him. none of it is real. “cool, thats nice. i’ll be going to bed now-” 

“i’ve wanted to see you for two years,” 

your mouth drops open. your eyes buldge, and you almost want to smack him. this, this is really all grand. 

this is so unfair. this is a cruel reminder you never wanted. this is a nightmare, come true. 

“i’m drunk. i’m leaving,” 

but again, he stops you, he stops you and you dont know why. why he wont just let you go, why he sought you out tonight, why this matters, why you care. 

why you got so goddamn attached to him that night, why you’d felt like a new person when you woke up the next morning and he was gone. 

you take a breath in. you smile again, you push down the flames burning at your throat. “we can both forget it, if you’d prefer. i promise i wont tell anyone, and we can just move on.” 

the words, the words you’re trying to offer him as a method of peace, those words, they send loki away from you. they make his face shift, they make him move back. 

he looks angry now. he looks how you feel.

“you want to forget it?” he asks, even though you just said it, even though you’ve already answered that question. even though, he knows what you meant. 

you arent slurring your words. 

“i just want to...” you cant finish that sentence though, and instead you nod. its enough, it doesnt take effort and its nothing special. it’s the truth, so, he’ll have to accept it.

you’ll go to bed now, you’ll forget that you’ve wanted to talk to him, that you still want to kiss him now. you’ll forget, and so will he. 

it will be easy. nothing more than a piece of cake. 

* 

“i’m sorry,” he whispers later, later when you cant remember your name, when you’ve remembered that you still havent even told him. 

“for what?” 

he kisses your neck instead of answering. 

‘you’re beautiful,” he says, you cant breathe, and hes still speaking. “i didn’t tell you before,” he breathes in and you can feel it in your stomach, can feel that sweet swirling deep inside. “i’m sorry”

“don’t worry about it..”

its late now, too late. you dont want to go to sleep. you never want to fall asleep again, not when you’ve just.. 

not with him. 

the kitchen floor is awfully comfortable. your eyes are falling, faster than you want them to.

*

“just want to what?” hes not hearing the words, and no matter what you might’ve said, you cant read his mind. 

“loki,” its another warning, because hes moving closer, because you can feel him again, because you still remember how he tastes. because that buzzing, the buzzing you’ve felt for so long, its digging itself deeper into your skin. 

“i dont want to forget,” he saiys, and no matter how much you want to believe it, it just sounds like another empty promise. sounds like something you’ve already heard. 

its not enough, but its just want you want. what you want is just there.. 

“i was drunk that night, i was sick. i was...” 

angry is the word you’re thinking of, but his lips are the ones you can feel. but his smile is the one you want, but his eyes, but his face, but his skin. 

his lips, his face, his skin, his touch. its been in your mind since then. its been glued to your thoughts. its stuck, and you want to peel it off. 

you arent supposed to be here, you arent supposed to be in this room, you arent supposed to be drinking this liquor, and you arent supposed to kiss him. 

you’ve gone insane for sure now. you aren’t supposed to do this.

and so, you do. 

*

you’re on the floor when you wake up. your head is pounding, your eyes are glued shut, but somehow they’re open. 

you dont remember where you are, you dont remember why you’re here. 

but you do remember... loki. loki, murderer, god, thief. he was here, you’re in the kitchen. 

his eyes, his lips, his peace, his lips, his skin, oh god. 

he was here. 

you look, you look around, you feel the pain in your body, you feel the anger piling up, you feel the ache in your neck, you feel it all and you look around. 

hes gone. he is. 

your head is pounding and hes gone. you cant remember why. 

*

masterlist here.