#I feel so fucking dead. I fell asleep last night when I’m normally awake and didn’t take my meds

[bondagebimbo]

wake up babes here’s some boobs to start ur day off right <3

[cherry-poppins]

Don't Go Baking My Heart - (Underswap!Sans X Reader)

I'll bake my feelings into goods  Just for you to eat them so I feel understood What do you call sharing sweet treats together  A warm kinda love that stays forever 

You sit and stare at your phone, the blue light illuminating your face. The clock reads 1:55am. You loved nights, they were so comforting, peaceful, quiet. You could get so much done. Except tonight you were bored. You sigh to yourself, thinking of the options you had to feed your boredom.

You could go to bed and sleep, any normal person would. Get a nice cup of tea, read a good book or put on a movie. Play some white noise as you sarcoma into slumber. But you were too bored for that, you needed something to do. Then the idea of baking struck you, but as much as you'd love to do that by yourself you always found baking more enjoyable when you did it with someone.  

Which led you to stare at your phone debating whether or not to call your best friend. He'd be most likely sleeping and you'd feel guilty if you woke him up, knowing how much he valued his sleep. But then again he always said that he was up for anything…. Fuck it. 

The phone rang for a few seconds before your favorite skeleton answered, sounding groggy and a little annoyed. "You have three seconds to capture my attention or I'm going back to bed…. Unless you’re dying…. You’re not dying right? or is it a dead body? Stars i always knew this day would come, ok we're going to need-" 

He was unfortunately cut off by your laughter, sounding much like a tea kettle as you wiped the tears from your eyes. “Hahahaha I called you and the first thing that comes to your mind is that I'm dying or that there's a body involved? Geez and i thought your brother had a grim sense of humor”  

You giggled as you heard him sigh, sensing his disappointment through the screen. You didn’t need to see, knowing he was rolling his eyes at your attempt at humor. “Hardy hahaha, real funny. Wow you’re such a comedian you should have your own show. So did you need help with something or??” 

“Oh yeah I was wondering if you’d want to bake with me at my place?” You asked your voice trailing off at the end, now considering if this was a smart move. 

There was a pause on the other end of the line before you hear another long sigh. "Do you know what time it is?" Sans asked, sounding more awake now. 

“Yeah I’m aware…. But I need something to do and before you say anything I have considered all of the above and more. This could be fun plus I know you have a sweet tooth” Listening to the grumbling of a sleepy skeleton made you use your final straw.  

“Come on, don't make me bake by myself Starboy.” 

There was a pause before you heard a fit of giggling from him which soon matched your own. “Oh man, you're really pulling the ol’ nickname card. Alright you got me, you make it really hard to say no to you.”

You grinned, silently accepting your victory. "You know you love me, besides this is payback for all the times I had to deal with your last minute antics."

A totally exaggerated gasp comes from Sans. “Unbelievable, that's so not true. You know it's quite hurtful that you’d say- Pft nah I’m just playing with you. You make a fair point but i feel like we have this pact were you deal with my antics and i have to deal with yours” 

“Ha, cheers to that, but on another note hurry your bony ass up and get over here!” You yell into the phone, laughing as you hear the broken reply of Sans. Something along the lines of don't yell, it's too early for that shit. Bla bla, think of the neighbors. 

Sans then promptly hung up after claiming he’d be about 10 minutes. You waited for a few minutes before throwing him a text, reminding him just in case he fell asleep.... or got side tracked. Which happened often. You didn't mind though, he always made your life a bit more interesting. Kept you on your toes, all though you suppose he could say the same thing about you. 

Just as you’re about to text him again you hear a lil “ thwip ” from outside your apartment. Unable to contain your grin you rush to the front door, quick to unlock and open it. “You teleported here?” 

Standing in front of you with a slightly embarrassed look on his face stood Sans, wearing a blue flannel and fluffy blue pants with yellow stars. You couldn’t help but giggle to yourself that Sans was half dressed in his Pj’s. Not that there was anything wrong with that, he just usually preaches how put together he is.“Heh yeah, first time for everything ay? Also don't tell Papyrus, I know he’ll never let me hear the end of it.”

“Pft nah, wouldn't dream of it. Besides I feel like this’ll be good blackmail for the future” You joked as Sans rolled his eyes. 

“We little Miss Blackmail, may I come inside?” He asked, leaning against the door frame. 

With a large amount of consideration and a pinch of playful sarcastic comments you allowed him to enter. As the two of you walked towards your kitchen Sans asked what you wanted to make. “Heheh… the best i can do is chocolate chips cookies,  not that they’re bad. I make a mean batch of cookies.. But unfortunately that's about it” You smile sheepishly as you leant against your fridge. 

“Oooo that sounds great, who doesn't love chocolate chip cookies?” He reassured me. “Besides, don’t worry I make a mean batch of cupcakes. We’re freakin’ set” 

You smile “alrighty then, let's get baking!” 

Ok, the first thing you needed was the ingredients and cooking equipment. You ask Sans to get the mixer and bowls while you get the ingredients. Checking the fridge you scan the shelves for the ingredients you needed, though you were quick to find that you'd need more butter. 

"Oh come on…. Hey Sans we need more- Eh, what are you doing?" 

You watch as the panic spreads across his face as he gets caught red handed mid eating a handful of chocolate chips. Finishing what was in his mouth he laughs nervously before answering painfully slowly. “Eh… eating the chocolate chips?” 

Good grief. You let out a chuckle, informing him that we didn't have enough butter. Only for his response to be eating more choc chips. "Hey!!  You eat one more handful of chocolate chips and I'm sending you to the shop to buy more!” Giving him a playful bonk on the head as you jokingly  scold him. “Even though technically we have to go anyways because of the butter” 

"What shops would be open this time of night?" he asks. Fuck, he did have a point. You groan to yourself not hiding your disappointment, wondering if yall were even gonna be able to do this 

Sans thinks for a moment before he snaps his fingers as his eyes light up with literal stars in them. "You know my house would be closer, it was shopping day yesterday. We’d have to be quiet though because papy might be asleep."

“Heck ya! Awww, thank you Sans!!! I really appreciate it” You let out a giggle and a squeal, bringing him in for a crushing hug which was eagerly received. 

Despite being late at night ... or too early in the morning the two of you had gotten yourselves into a giggle fit, shushing each other as you attempted to sneak into his apartment. Just when you had thought you were in the clear you were caught by Papyrus with a cup of tea in his hands, although from where he was standing he thought he’d gotten caught by you two. We all stood there silently staring at each other until Papyrus broke the silence.

"Well good morning to you too" he said, giving a sleepy smile, giving you a small wave. 

"Technically the human hasn't slept" he giggles along with you, playfully rolling his eyes as you wave back. 

Papyrus chuckles at that, leaning against a wall. "Huh, well that makes two of us.” He says before taking a sip of his tea, only to nearly choke on the sip as Sans gasps realizing he had in fact been caught red handed. 

"Papy you promised you'd sleep tonight, this is the third night in a row. You can't keep taking naps throughout the day, it's not healthy." Sans crossed his arms and huffs. 

Papyrus sighs and shrugs at his older brother. "yeah, yeah i know but i finally have the motivation to get shit done and i'm taking full advantage of it. My book isn't gonna write itself ya know"

"You write those words papyrus!!" You encouraged him, throwing some finger guns.

The two brothers giggle at your silly attempt at encouragement. With that the two of you are left in the dark hallway, the faint smell of fresh coffee filled the cold air. Gathering the ingredients you'd need quickly and quietly you were back to your apartment within half an hour.

“Alrighty we got the remaining ingredients, we got our recipes and the oven is set to preheat” You say, looking at your fully prepared counter top. You look over at Sans and dramatically point at him, acting like a gameshow host. “You know what time it is Starboy?!” 

Sans smirked, flipping up the collar of his flannel before stroking a pose. “Time to get baking!”

You get back and start baking the cookies and teach sans. While the cookies are baking he teaches you.... Then there was an incident with the flour. you don't get these messes when baking cookies. you both decorate the cupcakes and ice them. 

You first taught Sans how to make your chocolate chips cookies, showing him the measurements, how to make it properly, and that a lil vanilla extract goes a long way and makes things taste so much better. Apparently he didn’t know that you have to mix all the wet and dry ingredients separately before mixing them all together. He then taught you how to make his cupcakes… There was an incident with the flour… and the blue food coloring… And somehow there's yellow star sprinkles everywhere?!

You don’t get these messes when baking cookies, or at least not when you do them. Regardless you had fun, chasing him across the kitchen with an icing covered spatula. Though he did get you baking with a cup full of flour, miscalculating his teleporting jump and ending up crashing on you… with the cup of flour. Now you could say you and Sans were matching colours. 

By the time you both were done the sun was starting to rise. The kitchen was a mess, you had cupcakes and cookies for days. and you both were covered in flour, icing and sprinkles. You both laid against the pantry door, watching the sun spill across the dining room table and across the floor. Sans checks the time before giggling to himself. "Heh usually i go out for my morning jog by now."

The realization finally sunk in, you had kept him up with you for the entire night till dawn, inconveniencing his own routine. “I'm sorry that i've kept you up.... i just thought…." Your spirling thoughts got cut off with Sans handing you a cupcake. The icing was by no means perfect. The icing was kinda uneven and the sprinkles were all decorated on one side but taking a bit of the baking delight it tasted delicious. 

"Don't sweat it, I love baking with you" he smiled at you sweetly, thanking you as you reached over and handing him one of your own baking delights. 

He takes a bite of your chocolate chip cookies and absolute melts, success! That's what happens when you spend years perfecting a single recipe!! Now only if you could put the same effort into your other recipes, or perhaps even your studies? 

“Mmm definitely worth it” Sans praised as he indulged in the cookie. 

“So worth it” you reply, finishing off the rest of the cupcake, wiping whatever frosting stuck to your face. You turn to Sans before asking “You wanna get cleaned up, get in some comfy clothes and nap all day?” 

Sans whined a bit, letting his head hit the cupboard door behind him with a thunk. "Ugh you're starting to sound like my brother.... but i might have to take you up on that. It sounds nice… perhaps Papyrus is on to something with that napping of his” 

[saltyhyunjae]

THE STEALER CHAPTER ONE: PULL THE TRIGGER

genre/warnings: angst, fluff, slow burn, enemies to lovers (?), kidnapping, criminal!tbz, mentions of guns & knives, quick mention of suicide

word count: 2,5k

summary: As y/n is leaved to close the store on her own, the last thing that she expects, happens to her

pairing: tbz x fem reader

“Y/n! You’re closing the store tonight, I have an emergency at home and I need to get going.” You hear your boss, Jiyoo yell from the back of the store as you put some new clothing items up on the racks. You sigh. “Okay!” You yell back at her and look at the time. 8:30PM. The store closes at 9 so you won’t be alone for a long time.

“The store is super quiet right now so I'm sure you can handle the last 30 minutes on your own.” Jiyoo smiles as she walks towards the entrance of the store. ‘I hope so.” You smile back.

She tells you to put the money in the safe and clean the store a bit and then quickly leaves the store, leaving you alone with 2 customers and the loud music of the speakers playing Bad Guy by Billie Eilish.

After the last customers leave, you look at the time again, 9:58. You make your way to the entrance to close the door and turn off the lights so nobody starts knocking, begging you to let them in, then you tidy some stuff up as you make your way back to the counter. As you reach the counter the radio switches to the news.

“The infamous criminal group ‘The Boyz’ have gotten away with yet another robbery just yesterday making it their 12th theft of the month. The police still have not been able to catch them due to the group's large number of members.”

You sigh. Instead of partying with your friends on this friday night you have been put in charge to close the store. “I don’t get paid enough for this.’ you murmur as you grab the money they earned today and start counting them. The sound of something falling shakes you out of your thoughts.

“What the- oh it’s just the broom that fell.” Just as you are about to go back to counting you hear a faint thud in the storage room. “Ok, I'm getting really scared now.” You whisper to yourself.

You decide to shake it off and go back to counting when you suddenly feel cold metal against the back of your head.

Oh fuck.

“Put the money down,''

You hear a male voice say. You do what he says as you start praying internally. You then feel a sharp object pressed against your lower back.

“Listen up, as long you’re doing as we say, you’re not gonna get hurt.”

‘That’s what they always say.’ You think but would never dare to say out loud. You’re on the verge of tears thinking this is your last day when you hear another thud.

“OW!” You hear another voice yell.

“Dumbass.” You hear another voice say.

‘How many of these motherfuckers are there.’ You think

“Grab some stuff over there.” You hear the one holding a gun against your head say as you see another figure grabbing the money you just dropped on the counter.

“I can’t see shit in here.” One of the voices further away from you says.

“Turn the lights on hyung!” The other one says.

You flinch as the lights turn on. Not daring to look at thieves. No Y/n u need to remember their faces just in case they actually don’t kill you. As you look up you make eye contact with the one that took the money. Your eyes widen at how handsome he is. “Bring us to the safe.” The one holding the knife against your lower back says. You slowly turn around making eye contact with the one holding the gun.

Shit, he’s handsome too.

You slowly start walking to the storage room.

“Changmin! Eric! We’ll be right back, grab everything you can!” Gun guy says.

When you arrive at the storage room, you walk to the safe and kneel in front of it, the three guys still behind. As you type in the code you hear a walkie talkie go off followed by another voice.

“What is taking so long.”

“Shut up, we just got to the safe. Anybody nearby?” The one without a weapon, as far as you know then, asks.

“No, it’s dead, everyone is going out a few blocks away.”

“Give us 10 minutes.”

“Fine.”

You take the money out and hand it to knife guy, who puts it in a bag.

“Please don’t kill me.” You plead.

“We won’t.” Gun guy says.

“Hyunjae, come with me. Juyeon, keep an eye on her.” Gun guy commands as he walks away with Hyunjae.

You took the opportunity to look at knife guy, Juyeon.

Fuck, he’s beautiful too.

You guys just stay there in silence till the two guys come back into the storage room. But this time they came back with the two other guys.

“Plan changed, we’re taking you with us.” Hyunjae says. Your eyes widen and you try to get up and escape. Just as you get up, Juyeon grabs your left arm, pulls you back and holds the knife against your neck.

“Do as we say and you will not get hurt.” Gun guy says. Your hands get tied behind your back and you decide to give in and follow the guys outside.

“Took you long enough.” You see three other guys waiting outside. One shows a bored expression, the other is very tall and the last is...very cute? They’re all handsome too. You mentally cry.

“Who’s that?” The ‘cute’ one says with a softer voice. “Our new friend.” Hyunjae smirks. You internally scoff as they walk you to the bus. When they open the bus you see three more guys.

How many of them can there be?!

“Hi, ooohh who’s that.” One of them behind a huge computer screen says.

“They brought a souvenir.” The tall guy that was waiting outside laughs.

They put you in the car and start driving. Tears are threatening to leave your eyes as you think about your friends and family. What if you get killed? Or they never let you go? or even worse… you get Stockholm syndrome?!?!

“What’s your name?” The ‘cute’ one with a soft voice asks you. You still look down refusing to talk.

“Cat caught your tongue.” Hyunjae scoffs.

“I’m jacob.” The one with a soft voice says, you look up to see him give you a soft smile.

“Y/n.” You murmur and the boys start introducing themselves to you. You nod at them and for the rest of the car ride you stay quiet.

After maybe 45 minutes the car stops and they open the door and help you get out. You look up to see a huge villa remote from the city. You guys make your way to the villa and once you're inside they guide you to the couch. They all sit across from you while Sangyeon stands.

“Y/n, do you happen to know who we are?” He asks

You slowly shake your head looking at the 11 boys. Wait. 11 boys? NO WAY! You suddenly remember the new reports for the last two months. You've been kidnapped by…

The Boyz.

You hear the boys laugh at your shocked expression.

“Listen up.” Sangyeon speaks up “It wasn’t in our plan to keep you hostage, but now that you’re here we’ve got to make the best of it haha. As you can see our house is very messy and we’re desperately in need of a cleaner. So we’ll point out your room for you to get some rest, you start tomorrow. Any questions.”

“I don't have any clothes to wear besides these.”

“Well thank God we robbed a clothing store.” Kevin laughs.

“We’ll make sure to buy all the necessities you need.”Sangyeon assures you. He tells you what time they’ll come and wake you up and commands Jacob and Kevin to bring you to your room while Changmin grabs some bed sheets and pillows.

As they open the door to your new room, you see that it’s huge and empty with only curtains and an empty bed in the middle of it.

“You can decorate as time goes by.” Kevin tells you and you nod. Changmin comes in with the pillows and bed sheet and the 3 boys help u set up the bed.

Once your bed is all made up, Younghoon comes in with two pairs of pajamas and some normal clothes for you to wear. All hail one size fits all clothes. Once you put on your pajamas, you lie in bed and think about everything that has just happened until you fall asleep.

—————————————————

The sun shining through your curtains wakes you up. You groan in annoyance, put a pillow over your head and close your eyes again. Right as you begin to doze off again, your door opens. “It’s time to get up.” You hear someone say. You turn around to see Chanhee standing at your door. “Be downstairs in 30 minutes” He says, closing the door again. As you get up, you get a moment of realization.

You’ve been kidnapped…… YOU’VE BEEN KIDNAPPED! YOU NEED GET THE HELL OUT OF HERE.

But how.

While you get dressed you think of all the ways you could escape. Jump out of the window? Suicide. Grab a knife and kill them? You would already have been killed before you stabbed one of them. Sneak out of the house while they’re sleeping? PERFECT. But you needed to stay a bit to figure out the plan in detail. You need to know your way out and their sleeping schedule, you also need to gain their trust. You needed to be super nice to them for them to trust you.

You take a deep breath and step out of your room. When you arrive downstairs you see that all of the boys are awake. “Good Morning!” Haknyeon jumps up from the couch. “Good morning.” You respond back.

“Ah, you’re awake.” Sangyeon walks into the living room. “Sit down, I'll explain what you need to do.” He starts talking about you making their meals and doing their laundry followed by cleaning the whole house. You mentally sigh. This isn’t going to be easy.

Kevin introduces you to the kitchen and offers to help with making breakfast.

“Haknyeon, stop it!” Kevin grabs the spoon that Haknyeon is about to dip in the soup.

For the third time.

“I’m just tasting it for you guys.”

“You’ve tasted enough, get out!” Haknyeon pouts as he walks out of the kitchen, making you giggle.

“So, Kevin, how many times a week do you guys go out to steal?” “Hmm, maybe five to six times a week. Why?” He looks up at you. “Oh just wondering.” You lie. “Must be tiring.”

You continue to make the soup while wondering if it was possible to escape while they’re out stealing. You decide to ask Kevin for more information and he tells you that it usually takes 30 minutes to an hour for them to finish a small mission and that bigger missions sometimes take up to three hours.

He also tells you that he, Haknyeon and sunwoo are in charge of hacking, Younghoon, Jacob and Chanhee are always on the watch and Sangyeon, Hyunjae, Juyeon, Eric, and Changmin are the ones in action.

—————————————————

“Wow this is good!” Eric says, stuffing his mouth with the soup you and Kevin made.

I should’ve put poison in it, you think to yourself.

“So Y/n, tonight we have another mission and since we can’t trust you alone in this house we have to take you with us from now on.” Sangyeon speaks up.

Fuck.

“Sure” You simply say. “So what’s tonight’s mission about, hyung?” Changmin asks. “Tonight we’re robbing the new shoe store in town.”

And they all go crazy

“Finally! I needed new Jordan's.” Eric jumps up from his seat. “We should rob a Balenciaga store next.” Sunwoo sighs. After the boys finally calm down and finish their breakfast, you go wash the dishes while they prepare for tonight’s robbery.

Finally the time has broken for tonight’s mission. While in the car, Sangyeon instructs you to stay in the car with the hackers while the rest of them go to their usual position. When it’s time for the rest to leave the car, you lean back and sigh.

You have no phone, no nothing, all you can do is pray you get out of this situation soon.

“I see you’re enjoying yourself.” Sunwoo chuckles. “Leave her alone Sunwoo. Why don’t you come and look at how we work?” Kevin motions for you to sit next to him.

You sit in between him and Haknyeon and look up at the huge screen. Kevin clicks on a couple of things and all of a sudden a bunch of security camera screens pop up. In one of them you see Jacob, Younghoon and Chanhee on the lookout while the rest make their way around the back of the building.

“If I click on this, all the footage of tonight will be deleted, but I'll do that after the guys come back.” He points at a key on his keyboard. “Now we have to crack the password. Haknyeon?”

You look at your right to see Haknyeon click on a bunch of keys to reveal the password.

“1206” He says, and Sunwoo repeats it into the walkie talkie.

After 30 minutes the rest rushes back in the car with a bunch of bags full of shoes and money.

“We almost got caught.” Eric pants out of breath.

“I saw no one in the store though?” Kevin asks, while deleting the camera footage.

“There was this old lady walking in the alley and Eric started freaking out” Hyunjae huffs.

“So an old lady walking in a dark alley in the middle of the night isn’t sus?!” Eric yells, making the others laugh.

When you guys arrive ‘home’, you decide to go to sleep first because you're exhausted. When you lie in your bed, you fall asleep almost immediately.

—————————————————

“I’m kinda getting bored of robbing, I need more thrill.” Changmin lay’s down on the couch.

“Yeah me too, I want some adrenaline.” Eric plops down next to him. “Try jumping off a cliff.” “Not funny, Sunwoo.”

“Oh! I have an idea!” Haknyeon jumps up. “Y/n is our maid now, right?” “Maid.” Younghoon snorts. “She’s cute, right? And we steal stuff, right?”

“Get to the point.” Sangyeon sighs.

“Let’s steal her heart.”

Hyunjae burst out laughing. “Are you insane? Why would we do that? That sounds so dumb.”

“You guys said you were bored and this sounds like a fun mission to me.”

“I agree, this could be fun.” Eric jumps up from the couch.

“So you wanna make her fall in love with one of us?” Jacob sits up. “Why would she do that, we’re holding her hostage.” Sunwoo laughs.

“That’s what makes it hard and more of a fun mission!”

“And when does the winner get?” Sangyeon speaks up.

“We have to do anything for that person for two whole years.”

“Are you out of your mind?” Hyunjae scoffs.

“I like the idea, I'm with Haknyeon.” Juyeon sides with the younger one.

“Fine it’s a good distraction, we need to get off the radar for a week, the police are still on our heels.” Sangyeon gives in while Haknyeon and Eric cheer.

[helliontherapscallion]

(Y/n) and the Terrible, Horrible, No Good, Very Bad Week: Wednesday

Monday     Tuesday     Thursday (Part 1)     Thursday (Part 2)     Friday     Saturday     Sunday

Spotify Playlist (collaborative)

Warnings: panic attacks, swearing, getting outed, f slur and d slur, homophobia, puking, toxic friends

Word count: 5,160

(A/N): woah, thank you all so much for all the positive feedback, that really makes my day! 

The room was quiet with the exception of the clacking of the keyboard and the soft chirping of crickets outside your open window. The stars twinkled in the sky as the night droned on and on. There was a loud rustling outside your window, but your sleep deprived mind didn’t think anything of it. It wasn’t important at the moment, the only important thing right now was finishing your work. 

Throughout the night, you worked endlessly on your friend’s work. The essays were relatively easy because Adrian and Annie had luckily chosen topics that you’re somewhat interested in, so at least finding the sources was enjoyable. You had gotten your essay completely written and proofread, Annie’s outline finished, and Adrian’s sources analyzed. You would start on Sammy’s presentation after you finished Adrian’s outline. Hours upon hours passed by you as you worked, yet you didn’t notice the time once. You worked uninterrupted with no breaks. Well, one break to talk to your dad about how you weren’t hungry, but you got back to work right after he left your room. You couldn’t waste any more time than you already have.

Your eyes felt heavy as you typed on your keyboard, working on putting Adrian’s sources together cohesively so that the writing would flow seamlessly. You paused your typing to rub at your tired eyes so you could keep working, you couldn’t afford to fall asleep. You had to get these done as soon as possible if you wanted their forgiveness. 

The blaring of your alarm startled you out of your focus, making you fall backwards out of your chair with a yelp. Landing painfully on your back, you laid on the floor trying to calm your racing heartbeat. You looked out your window. Hints of pinks and yellows were starting to make a gradient with the lightening dawn sky. Shit, you were so focused on getting your work done that you didn’t take account of the time. You just knew today was gonna be long. At least after school volleyball practice was shortened because of finals tomorrow. 

You groaned as you pulled your tired form off from the ground. You made your way downstairs and plopped yourself down at your usual place at the table, burying your face into the crook of your arm. You felt yourself drift off into a blissful sleep, the wood of the table suddenly seemed very comfortable at the moment. Not long after, you were jolted out of your peaceful sleep by a loud crash. Jumping up and looking around with wide eyes, you saw Tubbo looking at you apologetically. There was broken glass in front of his feet on the floor. 

“Sorry, (y/n).”

You just stared at him blankly as you slowly blinked. Philza didn’t spare you a glance as he whisked the short boy away from the glass. “(Y/n), can you please go get the broom and sweep this up?”

You nodded, hauling yourself to your feet and walked over to the storage closet, pulling out the broom and dust pan. You mindlessly sweeped up the glass, your limbs feeling heavy. After throwing the glass away, you rummaged in the cupboard and pulled out a mug. The bitter smell beckoned you welcomingly, working its way through your nostrils and digging itself deep into your brain. Just as you were about to pour yourself a cup, a hand snatched the coffee pot away from you. 

“You shouldn’t be drinking this.”

“You let Techno and Wil drink it, so why can’t I?”

“(Y/n), you’re a full year younger than them and you haven’t eaten anything since breakfast yesterday.”

You felt your eye twitch, “I’m only a year younger than them! There’s literally no-”

“(Y/n),” his warning tone cut you off, putting the pot back into the coffee maker, “you aren’t going to drink this. That’s final. Get a glass of water.”

You huffed and pushed past him to the sink to fill your coffee mug with water. You’ve been drinking coffee for a while behind his back, so you were used to its effects on your body. You supposed that you’d just beg Wilbur to take you to the cafe so you could get your sustenance. He always relented for you. 

You heard him chuckle, “you’ll thank me when you’re older.”

“Mhm.”

You plopped down next to Tubbo nursing your mug of water, trying to make small talk with him. One by one, your brothers made their way to the table. Tommy was talking and gesturing wildly to Tubbo like he normally did, Wilbur looked as dead inside as you felt, and Techno made it a point to ignore you. When someone pissed him off, he can hold a grudge better than he could hold onto his knowledge of Greek mythology, and that’s saying something. Man is obsessed with Greek mythology. 

Breakfast went by in a daze with you struggling to keep your eyes open. At one point, you almost fell asleep sitting up, only to be woken up by Tubbo shaking your shoulder to get your attention. When breakfast was almost done, you had only eaten about half your breakfast. 

Drifting off again, you were startled awake by the screeching of the chairs against the wooden floor and loud shouts coming from your brothers. You didn’t have the energy to race them to the bathroom like you usually did, you’d just freshen up after they were done. You tried to stand up to go to your room to get dressed, but you were stopped by a hand on your shoulder forcing you to sit back down. Looking up, you were met with the concerned, yet stern eyes of your father. 

“You’re not leaving this table until you’ve eaten at least a few more bites and tell me why you’re so tired.”

“I just stayed up later than I normally do finishing up some homework, it won’t happen again.”

“It better not or else I will make you stay home next time. When’d you go to bed last night?”

You avoided his eyes, “around one thirty or two.” You couldn’t tell him that you didn’t actually go to sleep last night, he’d flip. 

“You know, you’re a terrible liar.” Shit.

Looking him in the eye, you spoke more confidently. “Three in the morning.”

“(Y/n)-”

You felt a sudden rage start to twist inside you as he started to lecture you about taking better care of yourself. He was treating you like a child and you were not having it. 

“-young kids like you need to- are you even listening?”

You set your jaw and willed yourself not to explode at him. “Dad, I’m not a child. I know how to take care of myself.”

You saw him narrow his eyes and purse his lips in frustration, “well, obviously you don’t if you’re not eating or sleeping well,” his eyes softened. “I’m starting to worry about you.”

“Well, you shouldn’t because I’m fine,” you snapped at him. “I’m going to get ready.”

You stalked out of the room and stomped upstairs. Passing a shocked Tommy and Tubbo, you made your way into the bathroom to get ready. The person that stared back at you in the mirror looked pale and had dark eye bags accentuating her tired eyes. She had red pimples dotting her face more than she usually did. She was ugly, revolting. The girl you remembered her being was confident in her appearance and walked with an air of importance. Now, she was a decrepit thing that was run down and scared of her own shadow. You couldn’t recognize the girl that stared back at you anymore. You should’ve been able to;  after all, she was you and you were her.

You rushed through your morning routine in the bathroom avoiding looking at yourself in the mirror. You opened the bathroom door only to be met with Wilbur’s chest, his hand poised in the air in a closed fist ready to knock on the door. He stepped back.

“We’re gonna be late if you don’t hurry up.”

You glanced at the clock on the wall. “Wil, we still have twenty minutes before school starts. We don’t have to leave for another ten minutes.”

He gave you a smirk, “well, you want coffee, don’t you? You look dead.”

“Oh thank god. I feel dead, I didn’t sleep at all last night.”

“When’d you go to bed?”

“I didn’t.”

“Christ, (y/n) I knew you were a dumbass, but not that much of a dumbass.”

You rolled your eyes, walking around him and into your room. You felt a stab of hurt in your heart. “Fuck you.”

Before you could close the door, he shouted out a cheeky “love ya too (y/n)!”

You took off all your clothes slowly and stood in front of your open closet deciding on what you should wear today. You figured that since you felt like absolute shit, you should probably put a little bit more effort into your appearance. Picking out your favorite flannel shirt and favorite pair of pants. Smiling at yourself in the mirror in your room, you felt slightly more confident in your appearance. You felt like you could walk around the hallways at school without as many peering eyes trying to figure out your every secret. But maybe that was just the sleep deprivation talking. You tend to be more impulsive and emotional when you’re sleep deprived.

You slung the backpack onto your back with less difficulty than in the previous days. Your back was healing faster than you thought it would. Now, it barely hurt and the swelling completely went away.

You went downstairs and slunk past the kitchen where Philza was talking to Tommy and Tubbo. You didn’t want them to notice you, you felt somewhat guilty for snapping at your dad. You slipped through the front door and hopped into the passenger seat next to Wilbur. You three usually rotated seats counterclockwise and took turns driving each day. Now, you were just waiting for Techno.  

“Well, you look less homeless today.”

“Thanks Wilbur, I just felt like looking a little nicer than usual.”

“Who’re ya dressing up for? Is it Adrian?” He asked with slight disgust. He hated Adrian almost as much as he hated Annie and Sammy. He thought he was nothing more than a fuckboy looking to get into your pants. Little did he know you were secretly a raging lesbian so deep in the closet that you’re froliking with Aslan through the flowerfields of Narnia.

“Wilbur, I’m gay why would I-” you froze, cursing your sleep deprived self for lacking a filter. Your breath caught in your throat and you felt anxiety start to seep into your veins and pump around your body, filling every single nook and cranny with dread. You could feel tears welling in your eyes as you stared at your shaking hands horrified at yourself. How could you just… just out yourself like that? How could you be so careless? So stupid?

You barely felt it when Wilbur reached over to press a gentle hand on your arm. “(Y/n), are yo-”

“I-tha-that was a joke, I’m not gay, I’m straight.” Your words came out in frantic jumbles, desperately trying to fix your slip up. Oh god, you really fucked up this time.

“(Y/n), brea-”

“I swear I’m not gay, I like men, I do. I-”

“(Y/n), breathe with me.” Wilbur’s firm, yet gentle voice demanded. He placed your hand on his chest and took in a deep breath, held it, and released it slowly. You tried your best to follow him, but after about ten minutes, you were slowly but surely calming down. It was a lot faster calming down from a panic attack when you had someone helping you breathe. You’ve never gotten help with a panic attack before, it was nice. Becoming more aware of your surroundings, you took notice of the soft fabric of Wilbur’s sweater, the gentle thumping of his heart, and his worried expression. You also became aware of the extra hand rubbing small circles into your shoulder from behind your seat. It was Techno.

Taking in a shaky breath, you took your hand out of Wilbur’s grip and clasped your hands tightly in front of you, shrugging Techno’s hand off from your shoulder. 

“...Can we please leave? I don’t want Dad or Tubbo and Tommy seeing me like this.”

Wordlessly, Wilbur started up the car and pulled out of the driveway. At the intersection, he turned in the opposite direction of the school. “Wilbur, where are we going? The school’s the other way.”

“We’re going to the cafe for some coffee, my treat.”

“But school starts in five minutes, we’re gonna be late if we go to the cafe.”

“Actually,” Techno’s deep voice chimed in, “school started ten minutes ago. If we’re already late, there’s no harm in skipping first block.”

“Tech, I literally have no idea what’s going on in stats.”

“I’ll give you my notes.”

“Are you sure? I wouldn’t want to bother you.”

Wilbur pulled into the cafe’s parking lot, “don’t be stupid, (y/n). You can never bother us.”

You didn’t say anything as you left the car and headed into the cafe. You could think of plenty of ways you could bother your older brothers. You bothered everybody just by being in their presence. You just had that effect. 

Your brothers followed you into the cafe, glancing at each other worriedly. You three quickly got your orders and sat in the secluded back of the cafe. Soft jazz music drifted throughout the quiet cafe. 

“(Y/n), we need to talk about what happened. Was this your first panic attack?” Wilbur asked you gently.

“...No, I’ve had them before.” 

“Were they always this intense? You’re still shaking.”

“That one was nowhere near as intense as the ones I usually have.’

“Usually? Do you have them often?” Tecno asked.

“Yeah, usually a couple of them a week since the middle of freshman year. Nothing I can’t manage.”

“So you’ve been doing this on your own for three years? You could’ve gotten us to help you.” 

You sighed, looking down at your steaming cup. “...I couldn’t’ve. Don’t get me wrong, I know you guys could help me, but I-I just couldn’t. No one was supposed to find out.”

“Promise us that you’ll come to one of us when you have an attack. We care about you, (y/n).”

“I… I’ll think about it. Thank you.”

The table fell into a comfortable silence as you all sipped at your drinks, the comforting taste of the bitter coffee dancing across your tongue.

“Ya know, we don’t care that you’re gay. A lesbian called me ‘actually pretty funny’ once and I’m still riding the high.” 

“Yeah, you’re still you. Nothing changes the fact that you’re our little sister.” 

You smiled as you felt warm inside. You knew your brothers loved you, but you didn’t know that they loved you for being you. You didn’t think anybody loved you unconditionally like that, and that made you feel genuinely happy.

“Thank you guys, for everything. I-I can’t put into words how much that means to me, I love you guys so much!”

“We love you too,” Wilbur smiled before he dropped it into a stern frown. “But if any girl hurts you, we’ll have a stern talking to her.”

“Yeah, we can’t beat up girls. We’ll put her in her place alright.” You snorted into your coffee, almost spilling it on yourself. Quickly setting it down before you could baptize yourself with the scalding liquid (though, you did consider coffee to be holy), you wiped at your teary eyes. 

“And that’s why I love you guys.”

“We’re serious, she’ll be wishing she got beat up after we’re done scolding her.” Wilbur said seriously before he broke into a grin and started laughing. 

The conversation carried on about your sexuality, how you found out, when you found out, if you’ve told anyone yet (they were honored that they were the first people you’ve told, even if you did it accidentally mid-panic attack). Eventually you had to go back to the school before your second block started. You three split ways to your separate classrooms. 

Annie and Adrian were locked onto you as soon as you walked through the door. They looked angry at you. What’d you do this time to piss them off?

“Where the fuck were you this morning? We were looking everywhere for you,” Annie seethed.

“Yeah, you wasted so much of our time looking for your sorry ass. You ditch us again?”

Oh, that. “Look, I didn’t mean to skip out on you guys again. It was a rough morning.” 

“That’s funny because we also had rough mornings, yet we still hung out with each other. You aren’t special.” Adrian rolled his eyes at you.

“It’s gonna take more to apologize. We don’t let things like the little stunts you pull go off scott free.”

“Oh, Annie I have the best idea,” Adrian squealed, bouncing on the balls of his feet excitedly. 

“What is it Dri?” Annie’s eyes shone.

“Our little (y/n) can set you up with one of her brothers and she can go on a date with me on a double date! It’s foolproof, not even someone as dumb as (y/n) could fuck it up.” 

“I don’t think that’s a good id-”

“It’s perfect Dri! Can it be with Wilbur? He’s literally so hot! Oh, the way his fingers can work that guitar…” Ew. The thought of Wilbur and Annie together made you scrunch up your nose with disgust.

“I’m sorry, but Wilbur’s actually dating Sally Fishmin right now. They’re actually really cute together-”

“God, how could someone as hot as Wilbur go for Sally Fishmin? She’s disgusting, always smells like fish,” Annie gagged, then gasped. “Wait (y/n) do you actually think that she’s more deserving to be with him than I am?”

“No, I nev-”

“Really? Cuz you just did. Glad to see you care about me, (y/n).”

“Annie, you’re literally so beautiful. I never said that you don’t deserve him. You deserve the world. I can’t split them up, but I can do more homework for you.” She perked up immediately, “awe, thanks love! That’s what happens when you actually put effort into how you look.”

“Speaking of, did you get that shirt out of the trash? It’s really not a look.” Adrian snickered to himself. There goes what little confidence you had. You actually thought you looked decent today. You felt grateful for your friends, they always told you the truth about how you looked when everybody else lied to you. 

Before you could respond, the bell rang and everybody took their seats. Luckily, Mr. Todd assigned today as a work day for your final research essays. You had finished Annie’s and got Adrian’s thesis done before the bell rang. While you were working on their essays, they were mindlessly scrolling on their phones and texting someone. 

You, Adrian, and Annie met up with Sammy and went into the lunch room. You tried to line up in the lunch line with them, but they laughed and told you that you’re fat enough and you needed to lose weight. What did you do to deserve such considerate friends? You really owed them one for always looking out for and putting up with you.

While you were waiting for them, you pulled out your phone. To your surprise, Haley texted you a screenshot of her conversation with Unknown. You felt a chill run down your spine. All four pictures were of you. You rubbing your eyes as the light of your computer provided the only light in the room. Your bare back facing the camera as you stood in front of your closet this morning. You sleeping a day ago (you felt sick as you realized that whoever took the picture was standing directly over your bed). Lastly, you and Haley holding each other’s hand under the moonlight last night. Attached to the pictures, Unknown had typed “you have one more day or else sleeping ugly gets it. Do not tempt us.”

Hales : )

(Y/n), how the hell did they get these pictures of you

Did you seriously leave your window open???

Why wouldn’t you close your curtains

Oh god, do you think they saw us in your driveway????

(Y/n)

Haley calm down 

Hales : )

I know you’re not telling me to calm down right now

You have a stalker

One that can GET INSIDE YOUR ROOM

(Y/n)

We’ll get to the bottom of this

Like I said, I don’t care if my pictures get leaked

I care about your pictures

Until we figure out who’s doing this, we need to lay low

Hales : )

Hanging out last night was a mistake

I shouldn’t have gave you a ride

I shouldn’t have tried to kiss you

I’m straight

And you are too

You said it yourself

We can’t talk anymore (y/n)

(Y/n)

I’m not straight Hales

I’m gay

And I like you

Like

Like you like you

Hales : )

I’m sorry (y/n)

But I’m straight

We can’t talk anymore

Goodbye.

With each text she sent you, you felt your heart drop deeper and deeper into your stomach until you felt your heart shatter in your chest, the pieces lodging themselves deep within you and ripping you open from inside out. How could you be so stupid to think that soemone as perfect as Haley Andrews, arguably the prettiest girl in the senior year, go out with (y/n) Minecraft, a known trainwreck. Annie’s shrill gasp sounded right next to your ear, making you gasp and drop your phone onto the table with a loud bang.

“OH MY GOD (Y/N) YOU’RE A FAGGOT? WERE YOU HITTING ON ME EARLIER? YOU FUCKING PERVERT.”

The entire cafeteria fell into silence as they listened to Annie’s shrieking. Whispers started to meld together.

“(Y/n)’s gay?”

“How gross”

“Damn, I was gonna hit it”

“We have a dyke going to this school?”

You felt like you were suffocating as the whispers and Annie’s yelling jumbled together in a disorienting cacophony. Adrian and Sammy both glared at you from behind Annie with a hatred that you didn’t know they had for you. You tried stuttering an apology, but you were quickly shut up by Annie harshly slapping you across the face.

“I don’t wanna hear it, fag. You’re going to finish our essays and you’re never gonna talk to us again. Do you understand me?” When you didn’t respond, she slapped you again. “I asked you, do you understand me?” 

You frantically nodded your head, grabbed your backpack, and sprinted out the door without any real destination in mind. You sprinted before you found the bathroom that nobody used. Ducking into a stall and slamming the door, you felt yourself start to hyperventilate. You couldn’t feel anything except for the tightness of your chest. You couldn’t see anything. You couldn’t hear anything. You faintly tasted bile rising up in your throat as you bent over to empty your stomach. You threw up everything in your stomach until you were left sitting on the dirty floor painfully dry heaving. 

You sobbed on that floor for what felt like hours. Everybody knows your secret now. Your dirty, dirty secret. God, you were a pervert weren’t you? You made people around you comfortable by just being you. Faintly, you felt your phone start to buzz in your pocket, your shaky hands scrambling to fish it out. They were all texts from your brothers.

Wilby

(Y/n) I heard what happened

Are you okay????

Please answer me

Where are you

Technology Sword

I’m gonna kill them

I swear to god they’re dead

Blood for the blood god

(Y/n)

Pls dont do anything or hurt anyone

I’m fine

I’ll see you two after practice

Wilby

Tell us where you are

(Y/n)

I’m fine

I’ll see you two after practice

You silenced your phone and put it back into your pocket, once again feeling yourself start to dry heave again. Your sobs and gags echoed throughout the bathroom. This is by far the worst panic attack you’ve had yet, and it doesn’t seem like it’s gonna stop anytime soon. You heard the final bell ring and students start to rush to their lockers to get home, so you tried to muffle your shaking sobs the best you could. You had at least an hour before you had to go to volleyball practice. Until then, you would stay in the bathroom trying to ground yourself. 

Luckily, you managed to calm down to the point where you stopped crying and dry heaving. You were only shaking slightly. You felt numb and completely drained from your panic attack, practice today was going to be a struggle. You cautiously walked through the empty hallways jumping at every little noise. When you finally reached the locker room, you made a beeline past Zara and Jazzy to your locker. You pulled out your uniform and changed in one of the bathroom stalls.

Practice went by with the girls on the team giving you sympathetic looks and Haley ignoring you. Not that you noticed, you were ignoring everyone and putting all of your focus on the ball. The entire practice, you felt light headed and drained. Fortunately, practice ended right as you felt like you were going to pass out.

You changed as fast as you could and pulled out your phone.

Dadza

Come outside, I’m here to pick you up

You felt a dread pool in your stomach as you stared at the text. Did he find out? Was he going to kick you out for being gay? Wilbur and Techno wouldn’t let him do that to you, right? Reluctantly, you left the sanctuary of the bathroom stall and rushed out of the locker room and out of the school. Sure enough, your dad’s car was parked in the parking lot. You glanced over to where Haley’s car was parked last night and saw glimpses of you and her chasing each other and laughing into the night sky without a care in the world before you ripped your gaze away to stare at your walking feet.

You reached your dad’s car and sat in the passenger seat. Your dad grinned at you. “Hey hun, how was practice?”

You merely shrugged your shoulders at him. You didn’t have the energy to talk to anyone at the moment. You felt extremely drained.

“What’s wrong, did something happen? You can talk to me.”

“...I’m just sad that the season’s over tomorrow.”

“Don’t be sad kid,” a gruff voice coming from behind you made you jump. “That’s pussy shit.”

You yelped and whipped your head around to look at whoever said that. Your uncle’s cocky grin greeted you. You felt yourself grin back at him. 

“Uncle Schlatt!”

“The one and only.”

“How was your business trip? You’re home early.”

He rolled his eyes, “boring as hell. I’m so fucking glad I got out early, I woulda blew my brains out if I had to stay there any longer.”

“Schlatt!” Philza reprimanded him, glancing at him through the rearview mirror.

“What? I’m just telling the truth. I woulda!” He defended himself.

Your dad gripped the steering wheel. “You didn’t have to say it in front of (y/n).”

Schlatt scoffed, “please, she’s heard me say worse.” 

As they bickered, you felt yourself zone out as you looked out the window. Houses and street signs passed by in a blur as the car moved down the road and pulled into your driveway. You got out as quickly as you could and made your way into the house alongside your uncle and dad. As soon as your uncle walked through the door, Tubbo barrelled into him and pulled him into a tight hug. Schlatt laughed loudly and bent over to pick him up into a hug. You smiled at the father and son as Philza gestured for you to follow him into the kitchen. He opened the oven to check on something cooking inside of it and turned to face you, leaning against the counter.

“So what’s really wrong?”

“I already told you, I’m sad the season’s almost over.”

“It’s something more than that,” as you opened your mouth he quickly added, “and you can’t say that it’s because you’re tired. I wasn’t born yesterday.”

You sighed and mimicked his actions. “...It’s just been a long day. I really don’t wanna talk about it.”

Without warning, he pulled you into a warm hug, your face being shoved into his shoulder and him rubbing circles into your back. “That’s okay, just talk to me when you’re ready. I won’t push you.”

That broke you. Throwing your arms around him, you started to sob into his shoulder. He started to rock you back and forth whispering reassurances into your ear. 

“That’s good, let it all out.”

“I love you so much.”

“I’m here for you.”

With each sentence to fall out of his mouth, you felt more at ease and safe. Your dad always did a great job at making people feel safe, that was just his natural talent. After a while, you pulled away from him.

“Do you feel better?”

You smiled tiredly at him, “Yeah, I really needed a hug.”

He turned around to check on dinner, “I bet, you look like you’ve been to hell and back. You don’t have to tell me what happened, but just know that I’m always here for you and I love you.”

The rest of the family flooded the kitchen after a while of you two talking. Dinner went by with Schlatt laughing loudly and telling stories about the people he met on his business trip. Every now and then, Wilbur and Techno would glance at you, but you ignored them. You just wanted dinner to end so you could pass out in your bed. Once dinner was over, you helped your dad gather everybody’s plate and put them into the sink. The rest of your little family went to the living room to start a game of Monopoly. The last time you all played that ended in fresh bruises and shed tears.

“I think I’m gonna go to bed, I have to get some rest for finals tomorrow.”

“But (y/n), it’s Monopoly! You love Monopoly,” Tommy exclaimed.

“That’s alright, you look dead on your feet kid. Go get some sleep.”

“Thanks Uncle Schlatt. Goodnight everyone, love ya.”

A flurry of goodnights and love you’s follow you as you leave the room and drug yourself up the stairs. Without a second thought, you closed your curtains and plopped face first onto your bed. You passed out without even making sure you were fully on your bed.

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[subwaysurf45]

Winter Makes Ice (Ep.1)

Summary: you’re captured after a brawl at the Avengers building, Bucky and others must save you before Hydra makes a new Winter Soldier out of you, Bucky has given up that title. 

Episode: One 

Words: 3948

Warning: depiction/description of violence, kidnapping, killing, PTSD, depression. 

A/N: I will be making a masterlist for this specific series!

Masterlist!

Winter Makes Ice (series masterlist)

Time: 1:36pm

Date: September 23rd, 2024

“Bucky, I swear to fucking god-” You threw the person you just knocked out onto the ground of the common room, “you have to get out of here, It’s you or this entire building!” Bucky gave you a sympathetic look as you fought off Hydra agents, your gun fired three shots behind you to another agent you sensed running up. 

“But I can’t leave you!” Bucky screamed back over the fire and bullets, Hydra agents were running in from every which way. The smoke rising made it harder for him to see you and Sam, who was also there a couple seconds ago. Everyone else was trying to stop the agents from the outside or other levels. It was a complete break-in. 

“Fuck all that Bucky, I love you but I can’t love you if you’re dead- Fuck!” You screamed in pure anger as you began hand to hand combat with an agent, he wasn’t good at all so it was a quick take down. “James!” you looked over to just see him standing there, his eyes were watery from the pain and smoke, “you need to fucking leave! Run!” you shouted, waving him off. 

“I love you!” He yelled over, hands cupping his mouth to make sure you heard him.

“I’ll tell you I love you after this, we’ll be okay,” you looked over your shoulder to find three new agents running in, their eyes weren’t even looking at you. You looked back to find Bucky still standing there, “fucking run!” Your throat felt raw, all the screaming and fighting was taking a massive toll on you. 

Bucky took off in the other direction, the fire was subsiding as he got further from you. The serum gave him lungs like no other, so running through fire and smoke was easy. With a frantic mind and tunnel vision his left and right mixed up, all Bucky was trying to find was an exit and it should’ve been easy but he’d turn back after remembering this wasn’t the right hallway. His hand was gripped tightly on his gun while the metal hand held a knife firmly, after getting his mind back he found he could throw better with his left and shoot with his right- his dominant hand is right anyway. 

“Anyone on their com?” Everyone had quickly shoved theirs in during the start of the ambush; half the SHIELD agents weren’t wearing their tactical gear. 

“Rogers is here,” Steve ended his sentence with a grunt. 

“So is Romanoff,” Nat sounded a bit more composed but still out of breath. 

“y/n is down on the main floor, she told me to run because all they’re after is me, someone needs to go down and help her,” he received a few confirmations before focusing back to the task at hand. The bright light of the afternoon sun blinded him for a second, with all the lights shutting off and the smoke it made it seem like it was night. Bucky reached up to rub his eyes to help adjust to the sun but ended up just rubbing smoke and fumes into them, “fuck!” He stumbled back against the closed door as he used his shirt to rub his eyes but that was also covered in his smoke. 

Bucky reached back and grabbed a completely full water jug that was the size of his palm, Bucky could feel his heart shatter as his eyes cleared because it was you who- only a matter of hours ago -was leading a very relaxed meeting about these water bottles, ‘you need to hydrate to stay on your feet’ you had said a couple times. His mind was as clear as his eyes, the way you were screaming at him to leave, the way you stood directly between him and the Hydra agents so they had to shoot through you to get him, the way you kept looking back to him with tears in your eyes because all you wanted was for him to stay but you knew better and sent him away. The tears mixed with the water as he sprayed his face, the smoke clung to his sweat like he did to you after a nightmare. The entire Avengers building was slowly caving in on itself, he could feel his heart lurch with every new piece of the building fall on the inside, he just hoped it didn’t hit you. 

He kept walking further from what he once called home, trying to get a better view of it all. He wanted to look away because he felt like all at once the building could crumble to pieces and consume you with it, there was no saving the building; and quite possibly you. 

“Wh-gent-hu?” Bucky had walked too far away from the building and the coms, all of them were close to low battery because of the last mission. Bucky ran towards the building and couldn’t see anyone on the roof, but as he ran closer the clearer the coms got. “Where-agent-I can’t-what is happ-sto-!” It was three different voices screaming together at once, Bucky whipped the doors open and saw just how much the inside changed. 

The walls weren’t a sophisticated grey anymore but rather charred and black, there was no roof, at all. Bucky ran into the common room to find everyone looking under fallen planks and bars of steel, he started lifting them too. Everyone was running around and screaming at eachother, everyone had a different level of injury. Steve was throwing support beams like nothing, Bucky ran over. “Who are we looking for, Steve?” 

Steve just looked at Bucky with tears falling down his face, his skin was brown with dirt but his tears left trails down his skin. “Bucky, man, I’m sorry…” Steve sniffled and covered his mouth. Natasha had walked over, her hands were shaking and clutching something close to her heart. 

“I think we have our answer,” Nat cried and handed Bucky the water bottles you introduced. 

“Who’s-” he was cut off when Bucky flipped the bottle to check the bottom, and there in your hand writing was your name, and a little heart next to it. 

Bucky felt as though his soul had just left his body, everyone was getting close to giving up the search for you. If your body would be found it would be a miracle for you to still be alive, your lungs would have been fried due to the smoke and a pillar could crush you like it was nothing. Sparks flew off of snapped electrical that could be electrocuting you at this moment, small fires still burned which could be living off our ashes, any of the pure destruction could be killing you. And yet people were giving up, by the look on Steve’s face Bucky knew he should as well. 

Time: 11:45am 

Date: September 23rd, 2024

“So you’re saying we have little squirt bottles, this is fucking great!” Sam laughed, he looked at the clear bottle that was shaped into a big teardrop, the kind marathon runners keep on their belt. He pulled a sharpie out of his pocket and wrote his name. 

You sat next to Bucky who was still feeling the effects of the last mission, it was at a Hydra base to just get intel but even then, it was still hard. Everyone got back a day ago and decided to push the debrief for the next day because of the shared exhaustion. Bucky slept for twelve hours because of it. 

“Do you like them?” you asked, referencing the bottles, you both held yours as you waited for the marker to be passed to you. 

“Anything you do, I like, sweetheart.” Bucky pulled you into his side and cuddled with you for a bit, he had always found your touch was a good way to stay grounded. Your heart beat could be felt anywhere, and Bucky would always try and match it. The marker was passed to you both and you wrote your names, a little heart found its home next to the last letter of your name, Bucky could only smile wide and shake his head and he took the marker and wrote his. 

You and Bucky made your way back to your shared room before cuddling up in bed, a movie was thrown on and you both watched it as your eyes started to close. Bucky was awake, he kept looking down at your head on his shoulder to leave a little kiss, he’d always let his lips linger on the top of your head so he could smell your shampoo. Normally you were clinging to him for warmth but he could feel you were radiating heat, your sweater was actually his and the covers were tucked to you and Bucky got the edge, this wasn’t new for him. You were almost asleep but still every minute or so you’d subconsciously snuggle your cheek deeper into Bucky’s shoulder, small little circles in Bucky’s shoulder as you got more comfy. 

Bucky ended up falling asleep too, it was weird when he would wake and realize how vulnerable he was to be asleep with you beside him and the door unlocked, he would smile at himself and make a mental note to bring it up to his therapist that he slept soundly again. Bucky probably could’ve gone the entire night but was woken up by a hard time breathing, something was caught in his throat so his cough woke him up. Then his dry cough woke you up, right away your nose turned up at the smell. 

“Smells like burnt,” you said and stood up, a couple joints popping back into place. 

“Ya, that’s what it was,” Bucky nodded, he pulled his shirt over his nose. 

“Wanda needs to leave Nat alone with the cooking thing, Nat doesn’t like to cook so I don’t know why Wanda keeps bugging her, right?” you turned back to Bucky, he was nodding along. “Everyone has their thing, cooking isn’t Nat’s thing but that's fine,” you sighed, “I’m gonna actually talk to Wanda about-” 

Three bangs landed right on your door, you jumped back from it and Bucky stood up. Two guns were pulled out of the bedside tables, Bucky tossed one of them to you. The banging went again and it wasn’t a friendly bang, you both knew this wasn’t one of your friends. The safety of the guns were both pulled back with a ticking sound, Bucky put his clip in his gun, you like to use a revolver and it was already ready. The top hinge blew off and the door slightly fell forward, the lights were off and the emergency ones gave little light, there was smoke crawling through the cracks in the door. Bucky had made his way to the other side of the bed to you, now you were both in front of the door. 

“Who do you think it is?” You whispered to him, your shoulders rubbed against his with quick breathes. 

“No idea,” Bucky muttered back, his lips barely moved. 

The door busted down and because you both were ready the guy didn’t stand a chance, the intruder fell back in an instant at the rapid fire from the guns, the sound would be as loud as the banging on the door. The intruder wasn’t even ready to fire, his gun flipped out of his holster and slid a tiny bit on the tile floors before stopping. The emergency lights hit the silver gun perfectly, you noticed red on it but it didn’t look like blood, there was some type of symbol or branding on it. You slowly walked closer, your bare feet not giving away you were moving in case someone was waiting before the threshold of the door. 

“Bucky…” you whispered and turned to him, “you gotta get out of here,” you slowly bent down and picked up the gun, the Hydra symbol was hard to see now that it was not getting any light. Bucky’s nostrils flared as a way to hide what he was feeling, his mouth opened to try and talk this through but the sounds of coughing, guns, and screams took its place. 

You both ran to the common room, everyone was there, fighting an agent. Coming from a third angle you took out some of the agents with your gun, they didn’t see it coming; neither did Nat as she pointed her gun in your direction. 

“They want their intel back, go to the computers!” Steve screamed, you turned and ran. 

Bucky joined the fight in the common room, he kept looking back to see you getting smaller and smaller down the hall. All he had was his gun and a knife he picked up from his dresser, both were used as more and more Hydra agents ran in and came from the ceiling that was falling apart. 

You turned quickly into the room, computers and wires everywhere. Your time was spent in the training room rather than here, but you logged in mission reports on the computers. Hard drives of every mission, every person, and every thing were connected everywhere. Tons of information that could give Hydra the upperhand, there were still hard drives you had just stolen from Hydra that no one had looked into yet. This was all they wanted, but it was weird to see how many agents were coming in and not making their way to the intel room. You stood on guard with your gun out and ready, you weren’t wearing anything protective so you stood behind an old computer that was yet to be thrown out. 

A man walked in, he was tall and slim. Brown hair curled down to his shoulders and his eyes were a dark green, they pierced right through you. You were about to shoot but he just put out his hand, his index finger coming up and wagging you off. “I wouldn’t do that,” he warned, his voice was like gravel. 

“Why not?” You grunted, finger ready on the trigger. 

He didn’t even reach for his gun, his hands out in front of him. “Because, you’d never shoot the messenger, would you?” His hands lowered but he kept them out. You slowly lowered your gun but kept your hands ready, fingers still holding the trigger. “I came on my own terms, no leader sent me,” He added and pulled a chair out. 

“Out with it, I don’t need your cryptic bullshit!” your gun was raised again, “hands up!” 

He raised them, “we don’t want intel.” 

“What?” 

“You stole our intel, that’s fine.” his nose stuffed up, “but you steal our weapon, rid him of his purpose...then we have an issue.”  

“He’s not a weapon!” you knew exactly who they were talking about, “and we didn’t steal him, we saved him, we saved Bucky!” you yelled again, tears gathering in your eyes. 

The man sat back on his chair, “I don’t care at this point, none of us do, you either give us our Winter Soldier or we will burn this place to the ground.” He stood to size you up, “the message has been given, shoot me if you want, I heard humans are flammable so I’d help burn this place-” 

The man's brain flew out and hit the walls, blood sprayed over you and the computers. His knees folded in and the hole in his head slammed against the floor, you should have let him suffer but he probably was working for Hydra, and that’s suffering everyday. The man’s skin whitened in a matter of seconds, all the blood rushing out of that one spot was getting near the electrical, so you ran back to the common room. 

Bucky was there, “most of them went to the roof, we got it down here!” He screamed. 

“They’re after you!” you yelled and shot a few agents down, “this isn’t intel, they want you Bucky!” The smoke was flying up and with all the fast movements, it was getting harder to see him, but you saw the metal arm in the reflection. 

“It doesn’t matter, I’m staying here!” He stopped to reload, but you knocked someone down and turned to face him. 

“Bucky, I swear to fucking god-” You threw the person you just knocked out onto the ground of the common room, “you have to get out of here, It’s you or this entire building!” Bucky gave you a sympathetic look as you fought off Hydra agents, your gun fired three shots behind you to another agent you sensed running up. 

“But I can’t leave you!” Bucky screamed back over the fire and bullets, Hydra agents were running in from every which way. The smoke rising made it harder for him to see you and Sam, who was also there a couple seconds ago. Everyone else was trying to stop the agents from the outside or other levels. It was a complete break-in. 

“Fuck all that Bucky, I love you but I can’t love you if you’re dead- Fuck!” You screamed in pure anger as you began hand to hand combat with an agent, he wasn’t good at all so it was a quick take down. “James!” you looked over to just see him standing there, his eyes were watery from the pain and smoke, “you need to fucking leave! Run!” you shouted, waving him off. 

 Bucky took off but as he ran away, right before you lost sight of him, an arm wrapped tightly around your neck. You couldn’t see a face but you heard a voice, “he’ll turn himself in if he knows we have you, now this will hurt.” the butt of a gun slammed your temple, all you saw was black. 

Time: unknown 

Date: unknown

Your head hurt so bad, right as you were waking up it was a pulsing ache everywhere from between your eyes to your neck. It felt like waves, for a moment the pressure would drop but then slowly crawl back in, nothing was rigid. In the room you found yourself in there wasn’t much to register, just a cell that was a little longer than arm's length and some black box on the ceiling, it wasn’t a light but it seemed to hold something. There was no bed as well, you were sat up against the wall in a corner. As you moved to look around your neck all the way down to your knees ached; not to mention the pressure building in your head. It felt like you had been struck in the back of the head even though you thought it was in your temple when you were knocked out, your hand cupped high on your neck, right where your hair started. There was a sting and you pulled away with a hiss, a few pieces of scab came with it. 

There were no windows, no source of light to see what time it was. But the fact that whatever cut was made to the back of your head was a fully scabbed and not bleeding gave away you had been asleep for a bit, that almost made it worse. 

“Welcome, Soldat,” a voice with an accent came through, it was one you couldn’t figure out. “It seems our other weapon got away, we were gifted you instead; we are happy about it no less.'' the voice was coming from a speaker in the top left corner, not the black box directly above you. 

“Where am I?” your voice sounded like sandpaper. 

“In your cell,” you could hear the smirk, “but you’re not in Avenger’s territory anymore, would you like to know where you are?” he didn’t wait for you to answer, “I’ll give it to you if you follow this simple task, would you mind getting on your knees?” the voice asked, you stayed still, “right, I forgot. Soldat, get on your knees.” right away your knees smashed into the concrete floor. “Would you look at that, how pretty?” 

“What that fuck?” you gasped out, your hands folded neatly on your lap as you sat back on your calves. 

“Now that we know your abilities, you’re in Iceland, Hydra gifted us you.” 

“You’re not Hydra?” you asked, this time louder and looking at the speaker. 

“Oh, we are Hydra.” the voice laughed, “just not how you think we are...” 

Time: 9:59pm

Date: September 27th, 2024

Bucky didn’t know how long he’d been curled in his bed with the curtains drawn, there was no perception of time at all. All he did was cry, all day. His body ached and crumbled into itself more and more as time went on. Everyone was mourning the loss of a friend, but to Bucky it was a lover. He held the picture you framed after your first date as a couple, that was one of the first times Bucky had truly smiled. 

You both went to a really nice restaurant and when you were finished you waiter offered to take a picture because they saw you getting self conscious when your arm was up to take a selfie. The both of you leaned over the table and close to one another, right before the picture was taken Bucky reached over and placed his metal hand over yours, allowing it to be seen in the picture. It was something he regretted but after you framed it and kept it on your side of the bed, Bucky looked at it everyday with a smile. 

The picture was still in the frame but it wasn’t on the bedside anymore, rather pushed up against Bucky’s chest. He’d pull it away to look at you from time to time, after picturing all the good times with you, your face seemed to change and warp until it wasn’t you. Bucky would run his finger down the glass and try to imagine the feeling of your skin again, he’d lost almost everyone in his life, all he wanted was to feel you one last time if it really was your time to go. Your smile was so bright it lit up the pitch black room he was crying in, your smile and your personality could keep an entire country running for years. 

He ran out of salty tears and all that was left was wheezing and rocking back and forth in his bed, the emotions were working him out, sweat lines the neck rim of his t-shirt, but he’d also use the neck line to wipe the tears that slipped past his nose and lips. They would roll down and hit his pillow, he had already flipped it to get a dry surface. 

Steve walked in, he didn’t need to knock because he knew what’s coming. Steve had watched you and Bucky grow from barely speaking to napping on the couch for everyone to see, it took a while but Steve knew from the beginning that you were perfect for him. Steve brought Bucky a sandwich everyday at noon because he refused to eat dinner and breakfast. Some days he wouldn’t eat at all but noon seemed to be the best time for him to eat everything. 

“Wanda made it today actually, she added some chips on the side and made it real nice, Buck,” Steve went to the windows and opened the blinds, he did that everyday but  when he would come back 24 hours later they’d be closed. “I also have news, about y/n…” 

Steve saw for the first time in four days Bucky sit up, he saw the grief fade and a small shred of hope appear.

A/n: if you want to be tagged in this series let me know through an ask or anything!

[stxvercgersslut]

Love Without Doubt

Pairing: Steve Rogers x Female Reader

Part 1: It’ll be over and I’ll Still Be Asking When

Other people mentioned: Natasha, Tony, Clint, Wanda & others

Warnings: Mentions of death, heartache, language like normal, angry reader, sad steve, dead Tony, smut in the future, pregnancy, a whole load of angst and a whole lot of fluff in future parts.

Description: Losing Tony Stark was the worst thing to ever happen to you. But finding out that you were 3 months pregnant with your late husbands baby hit the nail on the head. You were alone, heartbroken and Scared. Steve’s riddled with guilt, knowing you were out there alone and pregnant hurt him, how could he leave you like that? Exactly he couldn’t.

A/n: I know the pictures are of a white girl but this is by no means a white girl fic. In fact this is reader insert! Meaning that you get to imagine yourself in this fic as y/n, so I will not be addressing the colour of her skin because that is for you to do! :) I know that this chapter is just a short one but this is the prologue. I didn’t think it needed to be that long.

A/n: ahhhh it’s been a while. I’m sorry for my absence I didn’t really plan on writing this again. But after a lot of thinking 🤔 came to the conclusion that I honestly adore this fic too much not to continue it.

Positive.

Shit!

'No no no no no! Y/n this can't be happening right now! How on earth could you let this happen?' You screamed in your head. Just some of the thoughts that were running wild in your brain as you continued to stare hundreds of tiny little holes into the pregnancy test.

Tony had always wanted kids, ever since the pair of your had begun to date those long 7 years ago he'd been open with you about his longing for children. But now the moment you should have shared with your loving husband was shared with you and your reflection in the mirror. The man you loved would never get to meet his beautiful baby and that fact alone was enough to shatter your heart into slivers. There truly was no coming back from this pain.

How could this be happening right now? More importantly, how could this be happening to you right no! After everything you'd been through the world just wouldn't give you a break?!? With Tony gone how on earth were you even going to provide of a baby? Let alone looked after it on your own!

As these questions continued to race around your brain at 100 miles an hour, your hands began to shake uncontrollably whilst tears began to fall from your eyes. It was no surprise that you were understandably distraught with the cards you'd been dealt by the world.

————————————————————

Despite your pain, Steve was going through heartbreak just as much as you were, completely traumatised due to being forced to watch one of his best friends sacrifice himself in order to save not only the world but also the universe it's self. Not only did he have the trauma but he also had the guilt of your pain looming over you.

Due to what he'd witnessed Steve would find himself experiencing nightmare after nightmare every single night, barely managing to sneak in any sleep before the images of his former best friend, Tony Stark, dying in front of him reappeared in his brain for what felt like the millionth time. It had only been 3 days since that dreaded day yet he'd been tossing and turning ever since. Living alone in his currant state was never a good idea. But since he had no one to help him through the PTSD he had to just struggle on through.  With all his failures coming back to haunt him it was tough but he had to try. Otherwise what was the point in anything?

As the early hours of the morning sunshine began to shine through his half open curtains, Steve jolted awake. Once again awakened by the deadliness of his nightmare. However, this time, unlike any other time, he woke up with an overwhelming sense of guilt towards you. His entire heart burning from what you must have been going through.  After all he knew exactly how close you and Tony use to be, how could he have been so cruel to rip that away from you when you'd been so happy?

Knowing that you'd be all alone in that huge cabin, alone with your thought eating you alive just like his were, truly didn't sit right with him. It was just in his blood to help people, whether or not they actually wanted his help was a different question but if someone was in distress, which he somehow had a feeling you were, he had to at least try and help.

Grunting, the still slightly panicked soldier stretched out his limbs, releasing all tensions from the night before as he did every morning even before the blip. It was just apart of his routine now and he'd never be able to stop that.

'Alright, time to get up I guess' the male mumbled to himself as his feet met the hard wood of his apartment bedroom floor. Ever since the blip Steve hadn't been able to stay at the Avengers compound, too afraid of having to relive all of those failures again. Now, with the compound completely and utterly destroyed, it was just an added reason for him not to go back there. Especially with everything that had gone on in there before.

He may have looked okay from the outside but on the inside? Oh he was a broken man alright. What did anyone expect from a super soldier who'd been through as much trauma as him?

As the male prepared his morning coffee his mind wandered back to you, wondering what on earth you could have been doing in a cabin all alone by yourself. Maybe you were still asleep in bed , shaking off all the loneliness and all the heart break with as much sleep as you could? If that was the case then maybe Steve could rest easier knowing that for the most part you were okay. Maybe he would have been able to forget about you if he knew for certain that you were able to slip into a state of peace when you fell asleep.

But for some reason Steve just couldn't shake the idea of you maybe crying yourself to sleep every night. Or even worse, what if you were listening to that damn hologram again? Or his voicemail again? What if you still hated him? Oh he had to put this right.

Deep down Steve knew you hated the way that he'd handled things, the way he'd brutally dragged your husband away from you. Bursting the bubble surrounding the two of you in the process. But if there was any possible way that he could put all the heartbreak right and ease his Conscience in the process then he had to try right? No matter how much you hated him right now he knew that you'd need a friend right now.

So without a second thought, the super soldier poured his morning coffee into a travel mug (one Bucky had bought him one year), threw on a t-shirt and jeans, grabbed his leather jacket as well as his keys and left the house. There just had to be a way to put this right.

As Steve made his way to the cabin that used to be shared by you and Tony, he couldn't help but lose himself in deep thought. Struggling to comprehend how life had just fucked everyone over so awfully. Yeah they managed to get their lives back and bring everyone home in the process. But what good was that when Tony didn't arrive back home to you safely? What use was bringing all the blipped back when Steve had to explain to you that your husband was never coming home. The world was cruel, that he knew for certain.

It hadn't taken him more than an hour to finally arrive at your cabin, sucking in a deep breath as he slowly exited him car and made his way up to the front door.

Was he really about to do this? Was he really about to attempt to talk to you even though he knew that you most likely hated his guts?

Apparently so since his he curled his hand into a fist and gently knocked on the door, staring is hung that he could hear the sound of joyful laughter. But in reality all he could hear was painful sobs. That was the hardest part, hearing you sob was already breaking his heart. It was times like these he truly did wish that his hearing wasn’t as strong as it happened to be.

With one more breath, Steve finally pulled himself together and knocked 3 times, hoping you’d opened the door for him.

————————————————————

You'd been so caught up in your emotional agony that you'd barely had enough time to hear the first couple knocks, but by the third knock your senses seemed to finally come back quick enough to only slightly hear the very last knock.

After straightening yourself up a little you finally made your way towards the door, dreading the panic attack that was most likely coming your way after everything you’d gone through. However, nothing had prepared you for who you found at the door upon opening.

“Steve?” You groaned almost angrily; practically spitting it out.

Tags: @jtargaryen18​ @chuckbass-love​ @et-lesailes​ @harrysthiccthighss​ @cevans-fics​ @dwights-new-plague @sweetllamaparadise @jessyballet @lharrietg @patzammit

[sunjaesol]

written kind of caffeinated, kind of stoned, kind of sleep-deprived juke | 2043 words | pure fluff

He knew that, rationally, he shouldn’t do it. The word “boundary!” blared in his head and the whole thing was really inconsequential and it was so stupid, but Luke simply couldn’t help himself. Was it because of his crush on her? Most definitely. Should that awareness stop him from doing dumb shit like this? Yes, except here he was.

While Julie was at school, she accidentally let the lights in her room on. And so, Luke poofed from the studio into her room to turn them off. Saving power, right? Doing the right thing, being a good person, definitely not going into her room because it was her room.

There was something relaxing about the space though. A sense of serenity falling on his shoulders every time he stepped inside and let his eyes wander and settle on new nooks and corners he hadn’t discovered yet. F+J scratched in the wood of her wardrobe, a box of pretty seashells, four tubes of the exact same mascara in her vanity. It felt familiar and human and simple and so, so Julie.

He flicked the lights off, the only light source being the sun pouring in and casting the room in a gentle glow. Her pink walls were gentler now, the colour of peaches and reminding him of summer nights with his boys on the beach. (It also reminded him of Julie’s peach deodorant that always hung around her and involuntarily made him zero in on her. Alex would argue he was always looking at her, but that wasn’t the point. The point was that the thought of peaches only held fond memories - new memories that now included her too.)

Alright. The lights were off. He did his good deed. He should go back to the boys… 

His feet moved on their own accord and plopped down on her bed, sinking into the mattress. His hands caressed the soft comforter, a smile tugging on his lips that thank the fucking music gods, he could still touch and feel things. He would’ve gone insane in an instant if they weren’t able to be in contact with anything or anyone. It was unfathomable to Luke - not hugging Reggie or massaging Alex’s shoulders or grabbing Julie’s hand. To him, music was just another way to share that sensation of contact with people. Didn’t matter if it was loud and rough or quiet and intimate, a ballad or a rock anthem. Connection: that was all he ever needed. 

His fingers slid further and suddenly he was laying on his back, staring at the ceiling. Oh, man. Now he really couldn’t leave. Her bed was so comfortable! Definitely better than the mattress he had at his folks or, even worse, the couch. That thing broke his back the last months. Ha, Luke noted bitterly, maybe it was better that he hit the bucket then. Rather dead and setting the stage on fire than living with a hernia, right? 

Though Luke still slept (habit? he guessed?), he has never felt sleepy. The boys just hung around or hit the streets and then eventually felt that tug of human normalcy. “Maybe we should go to sleep, guys. Big day ahead.” He didn’t dream. It was just black. It wasn’t unwelcome; just… empty. 

But here, laying on Julie’s bed and letting his eyes blur and rest, Luke felt sleepy. Sufficiently exhausted. He didn’t know where that sudden slam of the hammer came from, but he kind of liked it. It made him feel like he was the one that went to school today, or had a tiring shift at some fast food shack, or played a gig. He stretched himself like a star, grinned as all the joints in his back popped, and then rolled on his side. Fucking heaven. 

‘What’re you doing here?’

The faraway voice lulled the groggy Luke awake. He felt like he was hit by a truck. Where was he? 

‘Hmph?’

She chuckled, his mind speeding up at just the sound and realising that shit, he did fall asleep on her bed and she caught him. His eyes cracked open, coming face to face with an amused Julie hovering on the side of the bed. His brain supplied him with the thought that she looked pretty, reminding him once again that yup, he still liked her. A sheepish smile crawled on his lips. 

‘Hey, Jules.’

She rolled her eyes and then roughly pushed him to the other side of the bed. He squeaked, grabbing onto the comforter as to not fall off and gawked at her. 

‘Dude!’

‘This is my side of the bed,’ Julie said, pointing at the indent he made. ‘If you’re going to sleep here, it’s on the other side.’

He let out a relieved breath. ‘You’re not mad?’

‘Depends.’ Her eyes narrowed. ‘Why were you in my room?’

Waving his hands towards the ceiling, he muttered. ‘Your lights were still on.’

His reply visibly mellowed her, so much that it kind of surprised him. Her smile melted into those she gave him whenever he found a gnarly lyric or impressed her with a riff or met her halfway for the mic onstage. During those moments, it was hard to deny there wasn’t more, that both knew there was more, but couldn’t really do anything about it. It was really depressing. “Yeah, Jules, I’m fucking crazy about you. Wanna make out and hope I don’t disappear the next day?” Even his impulsive streak wasn’t that extreme. 

He hadn’t expected her to smile like that right now. Not when he laid on her bed and her hair was begging for his fingers to slip through and the spot he slept on was still warm. He almost poofed away. Were they going to touch on the “more”? Was this it? 

‘Thanks,’ she eventually whispered, eyes dropping and meeting his again with a shyer smile and he knew he was sporting the exact same. A beat passed between them, eyes locked and unwavering. His fingers twitched. 

‘Uh…’ Mustering back some rationality, he said: ‘Do you want me to leave, or?’

Her hands stretched out. ‘No!’ Face twisting to something he could only describe as “cringe”, she went on a little calmer. ‘You can- it’s fine. I’m just going to do some homework anyway.’

He watched as she and her backpack found a place on the bed, both very close and very far away all at once. It shouldn’t be intimate, but it was. He was seventeen and she was sixteen and he was pretty sure his crush wasn’t completely one-sided and she just allowed him to stay. There wasn’t music or a guitar or a songbook to hide behind and it sort of terrified him. But in a good way? Like when he went cliff diving and stood at the edge, stomach whooping at the thought of jumping, or when he was at the top of a rollercoaster and the cart slowly began to tilt. It was that. The feeling of quiet exhilaration. 

All of that just cause Julie sat next to him bend over a history worksheet. Get a fucking grip, dude. 

He didn’t know how long she worked on her homework or how long he stared at the ceiling, hands weaved beneath his head, but it mustn’t been long. The weight shifted and suddenly Julie’s head fell on her pillow with a sigh. 

‘No, no, no, Julie,’ he teased, ‘gotta keep those grades up, right?’

She rolled on her side to stick her tongue out. ‘Very funny. You maybe don’t remember it anymore, but school’s exhausting.’

Luke also shifted on his side, chuckling. ‘Jules, it haunts me. That’s why I dropped out.’

‘Cute pun.’

‘Thanks.’ And then, because Luke was never one to overthink: ‘I like this.’

That smile of her came back, the one he always wanted to see. Her eyes crinkled and her lips slightly parted and so incredibly beautiful. He heard music when he looked at her. Death became sweeter if it meant he’d get to stare at the girl of his dreams. It was a morbid thought, but then again, he didn’t deem himself dead whenever he was around her. Luke probably felt so alive around her that it surprised him later on that he wasn’t. 

He wasn’t a ghost. Not to her. She didn’t need to tell him for him to know that. 

Julie tentatively held her hand out in the space between, palm up and smudged with ink. When he placed his on top, fingers barely intertwining but the sensation like a shot of oxygen, she murmured: ‘Me too.’

They didn’t plan for it to become routine, but it also felt kind of inevitable. Nearly every day, Luke would go to Julie’s room when he knew her day at school was nearing its end and waited on her. She’d come in and briefly recapitulate the day (usually some story regarding an annoying teacher and Flynn with a killer comeback), sliding down on her side of the bed and hold his hands. Some days, her fingertips quietly wandered the lines on his palms, some days his did. It was always quiet. Though the only ones in her room, they whispered. This wasn’t a secret (the boys were keenly aware where Luke spent his afternoons), but it felt wrong to speak at a normal volume when the other was so close.  

As the days progressed, they shifted closer. Not intentional, but once again inevitable. Everything about them felt like that nowadays. The longer he was around, the more he realised that this - the bond he shared with Julie - was always meant to happen. Whenever his thoughts meandered to those cosmically impossible ideas of serendipity and couldn’t wrap his head around it, Julie was always there with her smile to bring him back to earth. Or, well, to bed.

And then one day, Julie came home from school, saw him, and without saying anything, crawled right into his chest. His heartbeat didn’t pick up like he expected. It eased and relaxed, sinking deeper into the matress as his eyes fell shut from pure fucking bliss and hugged her closer. Her peach deodorant overwhelmed his senses in the best way possible, burrowing his face in her neck and her smile stretching against his sweater. She was warm and perfectly fit into the curve of his body and he was in love. The acceptance should’ve ached, but it didn’t. How could he think about tomorrow when Julie Molina was wrapped in his arms?

Time froze those afternoons. As long as she kept her head on his chest, as long as they didn’t leave the bed, their island, then nothing could hurt them. 

One afternoon, when the sun was reflecting pink and purple splotches on the walls and he was contently dissecting each curl, his heart so full it could explode, he said it. ‘I wanna do this forever.’

He felt her chuckle. ‘Inspecting my hair like a monkey, or…?’

Luke squeezed her closer. ‘C’mon, Jules.’

Her giggles quieted, chin sliding up his chest to look at him. If she found devotion shimmering behind the green, she was correct. He hoped that the warm flickering in her brown ones was the same. 

Her voice was small. ‘You do?’

He nodded, every movement too big or too loud, afraid it would ruin the perfect quietude surrounding them. The room melted away, her face all that was left. Before he let the tug in his chest (the same thread that looped them in this embrace) guide him closer, she got there first. Julie surged upwards, barely needing to close any distance to softly find his lips. He cradled her cheek, warmth brimming from every pore on his skin, love pouring from his lips onto hers. It was short and sweet, but their smiles as they did were anything but. It felt like the first flower blooming in spring. Giddy, he kissed her again. He loved her. (It was inevitable.) 

Julie hummed an unknown melody in his ear, lilting and just as giddy, her fingers circling right above his heart. It stammered to blend with hers. Luke met her gaze, noses brushing and smiles private and eyes adoring. She loved him. (It was inevitable.)

‘Then let’s do it forever.’

[bleachluna]

What Do You Dream Of?

My fic for day 11 of @ichirukimonth! Also on AO3.

The first time it happened Ichigo didn't really think much of it. They had barely known each other a week, and he'd known she was sleeping in his closet for even less than that. He'd woken up for god knows what reason at 2:13am, turned over to try and fall back asleep only to realise that he could hear Rukia tapping away on her phone. He thought about getting up to tell her to go sleep, his big brother instinct kicking in for a split-second before figuring that it wasn't his business. He's sure Rukia can look after herself and besides, he doesn't know much about how shinigami work, maybe they don't sleep as much. They're the dead right? Maybe they don't even need to. He rolled over in bed again, facing the wall instead of the closet this time, and went back to sleep.

Then, one night a couple of weeks later, Ichigo was struggling to fall asleep. His thoughts just couldn't seem to settle down enough for him to slip into dreaming, only cat-napping at best. He was tired, frustrated, and very aware he had school the next day, which just made it worse. He opened one eye to look at the time: 1:44am. It wasn't horrendously late, he could still get a solid five hours if he fell asleep soon. He shuffled his head further back into his pillow, closing both of his eyes. It couldn't have been more than a minute when he heard a sudden gasp from Rukia, even through the closet door. Ichigo sat up, one leg swinging out of the bed, assuming a hollow must be on the way. Normally he'd be pissed to have to deal with that at this time in the morning, but maybe it meant he could burn off some excess energy and finally fall asleep. He swung his other leg out, moving to stand up before realising that Rukia hadn't left the closet. He could hear her shuffling around, breathing heavily. He sat there for a minute, waiting. He listened as she slowly got her breathing under control, going from shuddering gasps to deliberately drawn out breaths. Listened further, part of him still on high alert, as her breathing went slower still with a regular rhythm. She'd woken up from a nightmare. So she did definitely sleep, even managed to fall back asleep after being jolted awake. He wondered if she got nightmares regularly. She certainly fell back asleep quickly enough. Putting it out of his head, Ichigo got back into bed, getting his legs back under the covers and flipping his pillow over. He lied down on his side, facing the closet with his eyes closed, part of him still listening out for Rukia's breathing, and slowly fell asleep.

The next time was another couple of weeks later, a hot night, the type of night where it's a fight to actually stay asleep. The type of night where you wake up because you need to kick off the covers, but your unconscious self keeps pulling the covers back on because that's how you always sleep, so you end up going round in this stupid cycle every two or three hours. Ichigo woke up at some point past midnight, he already can't remember the exact time but he knew it was before one in the morning, and had heard that Rukia wasn't asleep either. He hadn't worried about it, it wasn't that late yet and it was hot, it was probably even worse in the closet, tucked up in what is effectively a sealed box. He had just thrown his covers off, flipped over to his side and fallen back asleep again. Sure enough though he woke up again, aggressively kicking his covers down the bed with his eyes still shut. He went to roll over only to realise that he could hear Rukia breathing heavily again. He turned his head and reluctantly cracked an eye open, spotting that it was 3:37am. He tried to ignore her and go back to sleep. Rukia was a big girl, she could look after herself. He tries to, but his mind wonders regardless.

The thing is, Ichigo doesn't wake up in the night all that often, not any more. And yet, whenever he does on the rare occasion, it seems like Rukia's never peacefully asleep. He's had bouts of nightmares before, he knows they suck, and well...the thing is, he knows Rukia better than he'd care to admit. He knows damn well she'd never ask for help, for anything really. Something about this feels like crossing a line, he doesn't know why he's doing it, maybe it's just the heat getting to his head or maybe, just maybe he does care about her, a little bit, but he gets out of bed. Knocks quietly on her door. Listens out but doesn't hear anything change, if anything her breathing just got heavier. He slides the door open, watching as her eyes suddenly snap open, the rush of air presumably waking her, staring up at him in genuine surprise.

“Wh-What? What are you doing?”

Ichigo scratched the back of his head, instantly feeling awkward. “I just-, I think I heard you having a nightmare, just wanted to make sure you were ok.”

She stared at him for another moment before looking away, quiet as another moment passed. “Of course I'm fine.” She finally looked back up at him, all vulnerability gone from her eyes, “why wouldn't I be?”

“Just wanted to...check.”

Rukia makes an aborted head movement, like she couldn't decide between nodding and shaking her head and ended up doing neither, before sliding her door shut again. Ichigo stares at the wood panel for half a minute, not knowing what to make of any of that, finally snapping back to himself and getting back into bed. He isn't sleepy any more. He lies down on his back, staring up at the ceiling, waiting for Rukia to fall asleep. She doesn't. So neither does he. A couple of hours later Ichigo turns his alarm off on the first ring, and they both get up, getting ready for school, with Rukia completely avoiding his eyes.

After that, Ichigo ignored it. Evidently he did cross a line, he had clearly bothered Rukia, so he ignored the fact that she never seemed to get enough sleep, and the sleep she did get seemed to be filled with horror of some kind. Ignored that Rukia occasionally nodded off in the day, ignored that she seemed to sleep better if he was around, and he definitely ignored the one time she slipped into sleep while he was piggy-back carrying her, her leg injured in a fight with a hollow.

It barely lasted three weeks. Ichigo had woken up suddenly, groggy and unable to figure out why he was awake. Maybe he had had a nightmare? It took him a minute to orient himself, rubbing at his eyes when it hit him and he shot up out of bed. Someone was crying. Assuming it was one of his sisters, he went to leave the room, passing Rukia's closet before realising that it was her. Rukia was crying. Rukia, the strong, confident shinigami, was crying. His hand hovered over the door handle. She wasn't happy the last time he did this, he doubted she'd want him to check on her. But was he supposed to just leave her like this? Pretend she wasn't clearly upset? It was hearing her choke on a sob that decided it for him. No, she probably didn't want him to check on her, but that didn't mean she didn't need it. He slid her door open. Rukia's head shot up before hastily going back down, wiping furiously at her eyes as she snapped at him. “What? What do you want?”

Ichigo rolled his eyes, reaching for her, firmly grasping her wrist. “Don't give me that.” He pulled, encouraging her out of the cramped space, “just come here already.”

“Huh?” Ichigo pulled a little harder, making her get out of the closet with a sharp glare on her face. “What are you doing?”

Ichigo ignored the question, wasn't really sure what to say, so he just pulled her over to his bed. Rukia rooted her feet to the floor in response, a foot away from the bed, yanking her arm back, speaking harsher this time. “What are you doing?”

Ichigo sighed heavily, a little too half-asleep and frankly too bewildered by the whole situation to come up with sensible words, he figured it would be pretty obvious at this point. “We're going back to sleep.”

She turned to him, more confused than angry now. “We? In your bed?”

He shrugged. “Yeah.”

Rukia didn't move, still looking at him, looking like there was about a hundred different things she wanted to say in response. Ichigo glanced at the clock. It was already past four in the morning, he didn't have it in him to argue about this. He quickly put his arms around Rukia and lifted her in a bridal carry, ignoring her surprised protests to deposit her carefully on the bed, close to the wall, and slipped in behind her, pulling the covers over both of them. “Go to sleep.”

She rolled over on her side to stare at him. “Are you crazy?”

Ichigo sighed again and rolled over so he could stare at her back. “What?”

“What if your sisters walk in? Or your dad?”

He looked at her for a moment before reaching for his alarm clock, changing the time it would go off. “There. It'll go off before dad's. You can't tell me with how jumpy you are that you won't wake up to that going off.” He wiggled his head into the pillow, closing his eyes. “Can't promise I'll wake up to it, but fuck it at this point, you can just climb over me. Go to sleep already.” He could feel her still staring, but he was tired enough to fall back asleep despite it. He's not exactly sure if she stayed, when he woke up she was already out of bed and changed into her uniform, but he has a feeling she did. She was embarrassed around him that morning, avoiding him, but her eyes were a little brighter and she was a little more energetic despite the sudden shyness.

The sneaking suspicion that she had stayed, and more importantly that it seemed to work, that she seemed to sleep better if she was with him, meant he did it again without hesitation. A week or so later Ichigo had woken up needing to go to the bathroom. A few minutes later he was partway getting back into bed when he heard Rukia moving around, tossing and turning, obviously awake. Without even thinking about it he knocked on her door, warning her before sliding it open. She gave him an exasperated look and shook her head. “You know you can leave me alone right?”

He leaned forward and went for her hand, before quickly deciding against it and grabbing her wrist instead. “As if. How am I supposed to sleep with you moving around like that in there?” He pulled her out of the closet, noticing that Rukia wasn't exactly fighting back, leaving the space perhaps a little too easily.

“Well...sorry, I won't move around then!”

“Uh-huh.” He just kept pulling her towards the bed.

She stopped moving just beside his bed like last time. “I can't keep sleeping in your bed.”

He shrugged and put a hand on her side and pushed her gently forwards, willing himself not to smirk when she went, shuffling over to the far side. “Why not, the twins sleep in here sometimes when they get nightmares, Karin went through a whole phase of it at one point.” He got into the bed after her, automatically getting on his side to face her.

Rukia rolled over onto her side to stare at him. “I'm not your sister.”

“Thank god.”

She slapped him on the arm. “Ichigo you just said if they get nightmares they come in sometimes. What if one of your sisters come in while I'm in your bed?”

“Wouldn't be the worst rumour I've heard about myself.”

“Ichigo!” she whispered as loudly as she thought she could get away with.

Ichigo propped himself up on one arm to look at her properly. “Look, you obviously can't sleep and I can't sleep with you tossing and turning and waking up all the time. So you know...one problem at a time, if one of them does come in then I'll deal with it then.” He went back down, closing his eyes.

Rukia went silent for a minute, still looking at him, before talking quietly. “I didn't mean to disturb you.”

Even half-asleep Ichigo caught the self-deprecating tone. “That's not what I meant, it's not your fault.”

“Still, if I'm interfering with you getting sleep maybe I should...I could find somewhere else to stay.”

He opened his eyes at that. “Where?”

Rukia shrugged as best as she could in bed. “Uraharas?”

“Like hell.” He closed his eyes again. “Just stay here.”

“I don't want to burden you-”

“With nightmares?” He asked incredulously, eyes open again. “It's fine. I just said Karin went through a phase of them, I've had plenty of them too so I get it, it's fine.”

She searched his face for a moment. “You get nightmares?”

“Yeah.” His eyes darted away from her. “They used to be a lot worse when I was younger, like every night kind of bad at one point. It's better now but I still get them sometimes, especially after, um...Grand Fisher.”

Realisation hit Rukia, looking down at the bedspread. “The night your mother died.”

Ichigo took a deep breath. “Yeah.” A moment of silence, neither of them looking at each other. “What about you?” Rukia looks up, questioning in her eyes, so he clarifies. “What are you having nightmares about?”

She sighed, shaking her head a little. “Just...a mistake I made. Well actually a whole series of mistakes I made that led to...A really bad night. For everyone involved. I, um...I did something that I can't ever take back.”

Ichigo hummed to let Rukia know he heard her, unsure how to respond. She rolled over a little, half on her back, half on her side, looking out of the window, watching the droplets hit the surface. “It's always worse when it rains.”

He huffs out a small laugh. “Huh, same.”

Rukia's mouth upturned ever so slightly as she looked back at him. “You didn't pull me in here so I could protect you from your nightmares did you?”

He gave her a gentle smile. “Wasn't my intention, but hey if it works.”

Rukia rolled her eyes with a smile and pushed at him, almost making him fall off the bed. Ichigo made a noise of offence and pushed back at her, more gentle than she was, getting resettled on the bed. Rukia watched him for a moment before quickly rolling over to face the wall instead. Ichigo waited for her to stop moving, shuffling forward slightly now that he had more room, careful to not actually bump against her. Minutes pass and he finds himself waiting for her to relax, listening out to see if her breathing will slow. He wants to make sure she can get to sleep, it seems to escape her so often, surely she's exhausted, but she's just lying there. Part of him wonders if she's waiting for the same thing for him.

He sighs. It goes against all his instincts, to fall asleep before her when she's the one having trouble, but he's also not interested in playing a game of chicken where neither of them gets any sleep. He knows Rukia doesn't know how to deal with feeling vulnerable, maybe she literally can't sleep until she knows he is. He focuses on his own breathing instead of hers, trying to will himself to sleep. He can't quite manage it. He really does want to make sure she falls asleep. In a decision he'd never make fully awake and well rested, he slides an arm around her waist with his hand gently resting on her stomach, keeping a metaphorical eye on her while he falls asleep, feeling the rise and fall of her breathing. If she has a problem with it, his sleep-addled brain notices that she doesn't say anything and well, it's Rukia, she would say something. Or at least push his arm off. Without thinking he tightens his arm around her, pulling her close to make sure she's safe, and finally falls asleep with his head almost tucked into her neck.

[aureolusfirewrites]

Ugh due to some realization being crammed down my throat by minecraftninjerkid I've decided to write something that doesn't end in Ben being beaten to a pulp or dead it's still angsty as fuck though don't kid yourself.

Waking Nightmares

'No. Not this dream again.' He thought as he realized what was happening.

Unbeknownst to the general public Ben Tennyson, savior of the universe, was someone who generally suffered from night terrors. And those night terrors were something that he could only imagined being concocted from a hellscape.

True some were less horrifying than others but there were seldom ones that didn't cause him to wake up in a cold sweat screaming. And this one, this nightmare, was one of his worst.

He kept getting plagued by it and personally it terrified Ben what his mind might be trying to get him to do.

His dream started out just as viscously as the rest of it. He was standing with nothing but black surrounding him. No horizon, no escape, nothing but black until... The crowds, people so many people, everyone they were surrounding him. They yelled he couldn't actually hear them there was no sound in this awful place. But still he knew they were yelling and fear from it gripped at him.

Then the crowd parted and made way for someone special. For a moment he felt relief as his now grey colored cousin walked towards him. He smiled and reached out for her rushing forward. Trying to hug her something to tell him he'd be okay because Gwen would help... Right?

When he got to her though he stumbled when his body passed through hers like she was a ghost. Ben turned to look at his cousin, a horrid cruel smile plastered over her face. She pointed behind Ben and be turned around. The people who had been shouting were slowly one by one turning to dust. All of them silent as if to tell him it was his fault. Terrified he turned back to Gwen in time to watch her disintegrate before his eyes.

"n- no! Stop please! No no no" he begged in shock.

He fell back hitting the ground trying to scramble away. Loud crackling split the landscape and white cracks spread across the floor under him. Within seconds it had broken and plunged him down.

<><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><>

He plunged down into freezing cold water. The water was grey turning to black and white air bubbles went up around him. He tried to swim. Get closer to the surface. But he only went down further.

His lungs were screaming in pain it felt like he was burning from the inside out.

His sight was dimming not that it was much different than what he would see if he was focused but a key difference made his eyes snap awake again.

Kevin. The taller teen was covered in metal but wasn't sinking any faster than Ben was as he carefully glided over to him. Ben looked at his friend expectantly.

Kevin reached over and gripped his shoulders. For a second Ben relaxed as he grabbed ahold of Kevin hugging him, but then there was a new sensation. It was slow at first as he felt something else curling around his midsection. He looked up to Kevin. The metal had his body and wrapped in a tight binding around his chest. Surprised he let go of Kevin who just waved before sinking back into the dead black water.

For a second Ben just stared looking at where Kevin had dissapeared to but then he saw something else. Fast as a whip a metal cuff snapped over his left hand and a chain connected to it. Fear jolted through his body as slowly it made him sink faster then another chain snapped around his right hand. He struggled pulling against them but more chains wrapped around him dragging him deeper.

His lungs couldn't take it anymore. He couldn't take it anymore. Ben let out a howled scream but the sound was lost as bubbles burst from his mouth and water filled his lungs.

<><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><>

Suddenly the water released him and he fell hard to the ground. He laid there spluttering and panting for more air as he coughed up more water.

He shuddered and fell to his side. The pain, the shouting from all those people, everything, it was all getting to be to much. It just hurt to bad.

For what felt like a long time he just stayed there curling in on himself shaking. Then he heard footsteps.

Soft thudding drawing closer to him. When he looked up relief washed over his entire body. "Rook!" He stumbled running over to his partner and fell down in front of him. Ben stayed sitting down on the floor not wanting to look up so Rook wouldn't see him breaking. "R- Rook I- I- I can't it hurts, and it's loud, it's so loud I- I can't-" he stuttered. Then Rook knelt down in front of him and lifted a hand under Ben's chin turning his face towards him to make eye contact. Ben searched his eyes for something but all that was there was a dead condescending smug look that radiated 'I'll make it better' but in the worst way.

They stared into each other's eyes for a moment then Rook reached behind his back. There was a soft click when the object was set in his arms.

'So it's the prototool this time huh?' Ben thought outside of his dream.

He looked at the weapon for a moment understanding what this part meant. He slightly shook his head not looking up from his fixed spot on the floor. He felt something brush against him as Rook got closer to him. Then the alien whispered something right into his ear and whatever he said must've broken him because silent tears formed and fell down his face.

Ben gulped and numbly picked up the prototool, in gun form, and turned the barrel to his chest. He made a hiccuping noise clenched his eyes shut and pulled.

He bolted upright. He was panting, gasping, his body trying to force air into itself to make sure it was still alive.

He was still sitting there rigid when he felt something warm wrap around him. He flinched for a moment but soon recognized his boyfriend's arms around his waist and chin resting on top of his head.

"Nightmare again?" Rook asked quietly not releasing Ben from his grip.

"Y- yeah it's nothing Rook j- just go back to sleep sorry I woke you up."

There was a discontent sigh as Rook pulled him closer.

"Ben."

"Yeah?"

This is the fifth time this weak you have woken up in tears. I highly doubt that it is nothing."

Ben flinched at the words. "You heard those to?" He tried to dodge the subject.

"Ben despite what you may believe it is hard to not be woken up when the person sleeping with you suddenly jumps and begins crying, much less the two nights of screaming."

"sorry" he mumbled.

"You will be forgiven when you tell me what is wrong."

Ben let out an exasperated sigh and leaned further back against Rook.

"Please tell me?"

"Alright alright fine. It's one nightmare, it keeps repeating. Everything is loud and it hurts and then everythin- it's to much. I- I feel trapped and then..."

"Then...?" Rook prompted trying to get Ben to continue knowing that at any chance he would shut down the conversation and act as if it had never happened.

"and then you show up and for a second I think it'll be okay but- but then you just tell me that I'm right and there isn't any fixing it, that there's only one way that it'll all go away. Then I get- I get a choice. And- and I always choose the easier way."

Rook had frozen at the description starting to get a good picture of what Ben was describing. It certainly explained why he had been screaming if nothing else. He was staring to really regret having asked but still felt the conversation was necessary. Ben needed him right now, he needed a listener.

He could tell there would be no stopping now until Ben had finished getting all of it of his chest.

"s- sometimes it's just a normal human weapon, sometimes it's something Ive seen some bad guys use when we fight in undertown, tonight it was the prototool, and then sometimes..."

Another shudder ran through his body and Ben shook his head. Heaving out deep breaths while His boyfriend ran long fingers through his messy hair.

"And sometimes it's the omnitrix. It- it zaps me and electrocutes me and it burns. It feels like I'm burning from the inside out and all I can see is green. And it just- It just hurts Rook. I- I don't know maybe something's wrong with me."

"You are right." Rook simply said catching Ben off guard.

"huh? W-What you- you do think there's something wrong with me?"

Rook nodded.

"Ben, there is something wrong with all of us. With everything you have been through I am not surprised at all of your flaws but the good in you is still much greater than all of those "problems" combined."

Ben sniffed and stayed quiet for a long time taking in what his boyfriend told him.

"Hey Rook?"

"Mmhmm" the cat like alien responded sleepily.

"Thank you"

A small chuckle came from his partner and he gave his last words before they fell asleep in each other's embrace.

"Trust me Ben If there is one thing I know about it is that Ben Tennyson never takes the easy way out."

[writing-for-the-people]

Vanilla Twilight

Pairing: Reggie Peters X Reader

Fandom: Julie and the Phantoms

T/W: Brief abuse mention, a tiny fight (Reader throws the first and only punch.)

A/N: I’m sorry it’s late! My friends had been gone for the weekend and got back last night, so I decided to spend some time with them, but here’s this! I was listening to Vanilla Twilight by Owl City when the idea hit me.

-----------

He hadn’t slept in two days. Reggie hated when these days hit. The days where you were all he could think about and he couldn’t sleep because of the thoughts of you keeping him awake. For once it wasn’t the loud voices of his parents ringing in his head, they had fallen silent, only after one of them (his father, Reggie knew) stormed out of the house, peeling out of the driveway, and most likely heading to the bar. No, it was one of the nights that his thoughts were consumed by you.

You had been his best friend for as long as he could remember. You were the one that he would come to when his parents’ fighting became too much. You were the only one, other than his other friends and bandmates, who had seen him when things became too much. Recently, Reggie had realized that his love for you had eventually grown to more of a romantic love, rather than just the familial way he had for a good chunk of his life.

Of course, it was Reggie’s luck that his realization hit him after you had already found someone else who made you happy. You had been dating your boyfriend for three months by the time Reggie realized what the burning feeling he felt in his chest each time he looked at you was.

And because you were his best friend, he would let you go. You seemed happy. Reggie could deal with someone else holding you if it meant that bright smile would forever stay on your face. 

It didn’t matter that he spent his time thinking about what things could be if he’d only figured these feelings out sooner. It didn’t matter that he wished that you would notice him looking at you. It didn’t matter that he felt like you were spending less and less time with him. It didn’t matter that he would lie awake at night and miss you. It didn’t matter that watching the sky change from blue to the oranges and reds wasn’t the same, because it took two to whisper quietly.

You were all that mattered to Reggie. More than anything. More than-

He was pulled from his thoughts by a soft knock on his window. He crawled out of the blanket cocoon he had made for himself and padded softly over to the window. He gasped as he pulled the curtains back.

You were there, with tear stained cheeks, a red mark bright on one, and your eyes were puffy and red. Your hair was frazzled, and he didn’t know how you had managed to climb the lattice to get to the roof outside his window with how much your hands were shaking. He unlocked and opened the window, (the screen was long gone from many nights of Reggie sneaking out or you sneaking in through the window) words instantly tumbling from his mouth.

“What are you doing here? Are you okay? What’s happened to your cheek?” you flinched away from him when the boy reached out to touch the red mark, and Reggie felt his heart drop. You never flinched from him. Something happened, and he wasn’t happy with the outcome that had developed from it.

“I’m sorry, Reg. I know we normally plan these things out, but I couldn’t stand to stay with him, and I can’t go home. Not with a mark on my face.” You were one of the few friends he had who had a relatively stable home life. You loved your parents and they loved you, and things  were good. It’s one reason why Reggie enjoyed going over to your house, because your parents would treat him as if he was their child as well, and he felt like he was a part of something good.

“What happened, Y/N?” Reggie asked, keeping his voice low, no matter how much he wanted to scream. He knew at least one of his parents was home, and he didn’t want to draw their attention, not to mention he didn’t want to scare you off, you looked like you would take off at the slightest misstep. Reggie didn’t want that. 

“He hit me, Reggie. We were arguing, and he raised his voice and hit me. He’s never done that before.”

Reggie felt anger boiling in his chest, but he kept it at bay, opting instead to focus on you. “Oh honey.” He murmured softly, and held his arms out. You didn’t hesitate before you threw yourself against his chest, your tears coming stronger than they had been. Reggie wrapped you up in his arms, one hand resting on your back and holding you close while the other stroked through your hair.

You were babbling into his chest, quick and muffled enough that Reggie could only make out a few of the words that you were saying.

“If he did it once…..I broke…..going nowhere….can’t believe….seen the signs…. I was so stupid.”  Reggie shook his head, pulling back from you only enough to look down at you.

“Absolutely not, Y/N. You’re not stupid. You didn’t know. Chaz really didn’t seem like the type that would.” he didn’t continue. You didn’t need a lecture right now, you needed your friend. Someone to sit with you and help you feel better. He led you over to the side of his bed, pushing you gently so you were sitting down on the edge of the bed. Luckily, it was Saturday, so neither of you had to worry about getting up early in the morning and try to make it through a school day with this hanging over you. He turned from you. 

The two of you had been friends for so long that staying over in each other’s rooms was just a natural thing in your life. That being said, Reggie had a drawer of his dresser that was dedicated to you and the clothes that you would leave there for impromptu sleepover nights. That wasn’t the drawer that he got into. Instead, he pulled out your favorite shirt of his, a goofy rodeo shirt that you had gotten him one year as a present. He knew you liked to be wrapped up in something familiar when you were upset, and he hoped this would be good enough for you. He also grabbed a pair of pajama pants and turned back to you, handing the clothes to you. 

Reggie hummed in response to your thanking him, turning around to let you change in peace. When you were done, he took your other clothes from you, dropping them into the hamper that sat in the corner of his room. He untangled the blankets from each other, holding them up for you so you could crawl under the covers.

During this small, familiar ritual, the both of you were quiet. Even in your distressed state, you didn’t miss the irony of the moment. Usually, everything that Reggie was doing for you, you would do for him on the nights he would come over to your home in the dead of night, bleary eyed and vacant, when his parents fighting got to be too much for him. You couldn’t recall the last time that the roles were reversed like this. Or the last time the two of you had done this. While you were with Chaz, Reggie had kept his distance, not once coming over as he did before.

You climbed into the familiar bed, curling on the far side of the bed. You felt the bed shift as Reggie climbed in behind you. He reached out, a hesitant hand resting on your hip. You turned, and rather than facing the open room, you turned to face Reggie. He pulled you closer to him, and you settled against his chest, letting more tears fall. Reggie would let you cry and cling to him for as long as you needed, never once judging you.

Once the tears had subsided enough, and your breathing seemed to even out, Reggie thought you had finally fallen asleep. He shifted the covers, pulling them more securely around the two of you, making sure you were protected from the cold air of the room around you. He pressed a soft kiss to your forehead, before resting his cheek on the top of your head.

In different circumstances, having you wrapped up in his arms like this would make him sleep peacefully through the night, but knowing that you were hurting, that you were upset made everything different. Reggie wanted to protect you. That had always been his goal. And now here you were, and he had failed in that goal. He wanted to wash all of your pain away and make you feel special again. 

He fell into an uneasy sleep, waking each time you shifted next to him. He wanted to make sure that you were still there each time, that you were okay, and that he was doing all he could for you at the moment.

------

You were the first to wake up the next morning, the sunlight from the window streaming into your face. You blinked, not fully registering your surroundings at first. Slowly, the events from the night before came flooding back to you, and you felt your heart break all over again. You had truly believed that Chaz was the one. You loved him with the pieces of your heart that weren’t already dedicated to your boys. But clearly he didn’t think the same thing about you. His words came streaming back to you, making you wince and cuddle closer to the warm body next to you.

“Ungrateful little thing. After all the time and effort I put into making this work, and trying to thaw that god-damned frozen heart of yours, you’re gonna run off on me and spend time with those boys?”

“What are you talking about? I’m not running off with anyone.”

“Yeah fucking right. You can’t spend all that time with those posers and then turn around and tell me you aren’t going behind my back and seeing one of them.”

“I’m not! You’re not listening-”

CRACK!

“No! You’re the one not listening to me.”

“You just hit me!”

“I should have done it when I first realized.”

“You know what, we’re done. This is done. I can’t stay here anymore.”

“Good! Get out of my house, you frigid bitch!”

You didn’t realize that Reggie had woken up, or that you were crying, until he pulled back far enough to wipe the fresh tears from your face.

“Hey.” he murmured softly.

“Hi.” you croaked out softly, looking up at him. He looked worried. You nuzzled into his chest again, making him laugh and stroke your hair softly.

“I missed you, Cuddlebug.” you hummed softly, realizing how true those words were when you said them. Something had felt off the past few weeks, and you were only just now realizing that it wasn’t just something shifting in your crappy relationship. It was the loss of your best friend and the little time that the two of you had spent together in recent times due to said crappy relationship. He hummed softly, dropping a usual peck to the top of your head.

“I missed you too, N/N.” The two of you lapsed into a comfortable silence. Daytime in Reggie’s house was usually quiet, with his father away at his job, and his mother either locked in her room drinking, or away at the bar. The two of you laid there for a little longer before Reggie noticed the time.

“I gotta go to practice.” He hummed. On Sundays, the band usually practiced earlier in the day, taking advantage of the fact that they all usually had the time free. You sighed dramatically, detangling yourself from him. He laughed at your antics, sitting up and stretching. 

As he climbed out of the warm bed, Reggie asked, “Are you feeling up to coming to practice today? You don’t have to, but I know the others miss you just as much as I did.” He asked you over his shoulder. You grinned.

Reggie and your other friends had a band, called Sunset Curve, that they had started two years ago. They were amazing and you loved to hear them play. In recent months, they had been getting bigger and bigger gigs. You thought they were close to their goal, playing at the Orpheum, and used to go to practices regularly to cheer them on. 

“I think that it’ll be good to go.” you hummed. “Give me something else to focus on rather than…” You didn’t want to say his name. Reggie nodded, and supplied a good substitute for you.

“Douchebag.” You laughed. 

“Yeah, Douchebag.”

------

An hour later, you and Reggie were sitting side by side on the leather couch in Bobby’s garage, which had quickly become the boy’s studio space. You were talking quietly, catching each other up on the things that you had missed while waiting for the other boys to show up.

Unsurprisingly, considering it was his garage in the first place, Bobby was the first out of the others to arrive. He did a quick double take when he realized that you were sitting on the couch next to Reggie. He smiled at you, though, lifting his arm to bump forearms with you. He wasn’t usually one for much physical affection, a stark contrast to Luke and Reggie who both craved the contact.

“Hey, Y/N, good to see you in here again. It was getting a little too bogged down with idiocy for my taste.” Bobby teased lightly. Reggie flipped him off, a smile sitting on his face despite his action. You grinned.

“Well, I’ll be happy to bring the balance back again, then.” You played along with him. He grinned back at you, dropping down on the side of you that wasn’t already occupied by Reggie. 

In hindsight, that probably wasn’t the wisest idea. Luke was the next to show up, nose buried in his songbook. You grinned.

“Hey, Luke.” You called out, gaining his attention for a split second.

“Hey, N/N.” It took him a moment to realize who you were, but when he did, his head popped back up, and a wide smile broke out over his face. “Y/N!” He called out, tossing his songbook onto the coffee table before throwing himself over you, and incidentally also landing half in Bobby’s lap. Bobby complained but didn’t move him off, knowing if he did, it would just make Luke pout, and a pouty Luke wasn’t what he wanted to deal with at the moment. Instead he delt with having the other boy half in his lap. You wrapped your arms around Luke, holding on to him, feeling a lightness in your chest that you hadn’t felt for a long time. You couldn’t believe you let Chaz take you from your boys as long as he had.

Alex was the last to arrive, stammering out an apology about his parents holding him back. The others waved him off.

“It gave us time to reconnect with our little N/N, anyway.” Luke spoke from his place, still in your lap. Alex paused, a happy smile playing at his lips, before it turned to a concerned frown.

“It’s good to see you, Y/N, but what happened to your cheek?” Alex asked. You felt three more pairs of eyes fall to you as they only just registered the light bruise that adorned your cheek. 

“Let’s not go into that.” Reggie said softly. You shook your head. 

“Please. Can we just leave it alone for now? I can’t guarantee that I’m not going to cry and you guys need to practice, not worry about me. 

“We’ll always worry about you. You’re one of us, kid.” Bobby smiled. Luke and Alex nodded their agreement.

“You don’t have to tell us now. But you will have to talk to us eventually.” Alex said softly.

“I promise I will tell you guys what happened eventually. And we have forever, now. I’m not gonna be disappearing for a while.” Luke and Alex smiled, but you didn’t miss the look that crossed Bobby’s face when you said that, and you knew that he picked up on what he thought had happened. You reached for his hand with your free one, and he surprisingly took it. The five of you sat for a little longer before the boys had to get up and start practicing.

You listened and watched them jam out, realizing once again just how much you missed your best friends. 

-----

Within the week, Chaz only tried to approach you once. He unfortunately tried when Bobby was with you at your locker. By this point, you had already told the boys what had gone on, and they were all wary of the other boy. So the moment that he tried to approach you, Bobby was immediately on guard when he approached you. 

“Y/N?” Chaz sounded hesitant. You barely glanced at him.

“What do you want?” You asked. Bobby stood off to the side, keeping quiet, waiting before stepping in.

“I just wanted to say I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have snapped.” You slammed your locker closed, turning towards him and crossing your arms over your chest.

“You shouldn’t have snapped?” you scoffed. “That’s the only thing you did wrong that night, Chaz.”

“I know.”

“Apologies don’t make up for it.” You huffed and turned away from him. Chaz reached for you, grabbing your arm and turning you back around, ignoring the fact that you stiffened under his touch. He couldn’t ignore Bobby, though, who had stepped forward, placing a hand on his chest. 

“Step back and let her go.” He told Chaz. Chaz huffed and did as he was told. 

“You’ve got a security detail now?” He huffed again at you. You snapped.

“No. I’ve got friends who actually give a fuck about how I feel.” You were too focused on Chaz to notice Reggie showing up next to Bobby. “We’re done, and I regret ever saying yes to you.” Chaz’s face morphed and he looked angry.

“You were never worth the time anyway.” Before you could think, your fist was colliding with his face. Chaz stumbled back, and you shook the stinging feeling out of your knuckles. You were lucky that it was after school and the only reason you were still around was to wait on Reggie. The group of bystanders that had gathered cheered.

“You weren’t either.” you turned to Bobby and Reggie, smiling. Bobby looked surprised. It was rare that you would even yell or raise your voice in the slightest, so seeing you punch someone else was a break in your character. Reggie on the other hand looked absolutely starstruck, but you didn’t wait around to find out why that was. You headed out of the building, knowing full well they would be following close behind.

You guys sat in Bobby’s old car, waiting on the other two to show up, and once they did, the ride back to the studio was quiet, which you were fine with. Once you were back to the studio, though, Reggie sat you down before disappearing and reappearing with a first aid kit. He held out his hand, and you looked at him, confused.

“Your hand, N/N.” He said softly. You looked down at the knuckles, not even realizing that they had split from the one punch. You handed him your hand and let him set to work, cleaning the cuts and putting bandages over them. 

You heard Bobby on the other side of the room, telling Alex and Luke what had happened, and why you seemed to be really tense. You could feel their eyes on you, but you ignored them, opting instead to focus on Reggie’s hands on your own.

In the past week that you had been separated from Chaz you realized just how much the raven haired boy in front of you meant to you, and you felt dumb. You regretted wasting all of that time with the ungrateful man you did, and wish you had instead realized that the best thing was right in front of you all this time. You hoped that it wasn’t too late for something to happen.

It took Reggie calling your name a few times for you to realize that you had zoned out, and had been staring at him while he had tried to talk to you. 

“Hm?” you felt your face heating up. Reggie laughed softly.

“I’m proud of you.” He said with a smile. He continued after he saw the confused look on your face. “You stood up to Chaz. That’s not something that you would have normally done, N/N. I’m proud that you finally did.” 

You smiled shyly. “I just realized that I had had enough. He had been trying to tear me from my friends. He didn’t support me the way you would.” You froze when the last few words left your mouth, and you wished you could take them back, especially with the way the boy was looking at you. 

“What do you mean?” He asked softly.

“I mean the way that all of you guys would support me.” You said softly, looking down. Reggie shook his head, squeezing your hand, which was still settled in his. 

“No you didn’t.” You pulled away, sitting back on the couch and pulling your legs up to your chest.

“I’m sorry, Reg. I didn’t mean anything. I just-“ you broke off, but you knew the harm was already done. Reggie stayed where he was for a moment. 

“What if I wanted it to mean something?” He asked, voice soft. You looked up at him, cocking your head. 

“Why would you want it to mean something?” You asked softly. ”It’s not like we’re anything more than friends.”

Reggie moved to sit on the couch next to you, and he gently loosened one of your hands from where they were tightly wrapped around your legs. “I realized a couple months into your relationship that I had wanted more with you.” Reggie said softly.

“Oh, Reggie.” You sighed softly.

“You seemed so happy with him, so I didn’t say anything. But now I have the chance to, and I don’t want to let that go.” He shot one of his signature soft smirks at you, and you laughed softly.

“I’ve realized in the past week the same thing. Look at us taking forever to figure out that our best friends were our best loves all along.” You teased softly. Applause sounded from the other side of the room, causing you and Reggie to look over at your other friends.

“It’s honestly about time.” Bobby rolled his eyes. “Now get over here so we can practice.” Reggie smiled at you before jumping up and moving to join his friends. He paused and turned back to you, pulling you up from your seat on the couch, making you laugh again. 

He pulled you in for a tight hug before pulling away enough to press a kiss to your lips. You might have had some bumps in the road, but here you were now, happy and knowing that you would remain so for the time to come.

-----

JATP Taglist: @spooky-scary-lesbian​

[klixxy]

weekly fic recs

(ft. my bookmark comments - mostly mha and voltron)

boku no hero academia:

what is right and what is easy - theroyalsavage

(bnha; tododeku; fluff + angst; 2k words; oneshot)

Midoriya Izuku is not chosen to represent Hogwarts in the Triwizard Tournament. He does not slay a dragon, or rescue innocents, or brave a maze of dark magic. He does not win accolades, or fame, or glory.

Instead, Izuku meets the son of the greatest dark wizard of the age, a Durmstrang student with hair like a sunrise and eyes like a war. And maybe, he just might win something else.

If I'm Being Honest.... by I_dont_know_man 

(bnha; tododeku; fluff + crack/humor; 26k words; oneshot; truth quirk)

Midoriya scrunched up his nose in confusion. “Uh, Shouto, why are you glaring at me like that?”

“I-” Todoroki began to lie, until nausea slammed him like a door to any room that Bakugou entered. “I--” Todoroki grit his teeth, and glared daggers into the wall behind Midoriya. Goodbye, friendship. It had been absolutely divine while it lasted. “Because you’re very attractive.”

They say honesty is the best policy, but it sure as hell had a knack for Todoroki making a complete and utter fool of himself.

Or: In which Todoroki is placed under a mysterious truth-telling quirk and suffers, Uraraka laughs at him, Midoriya is confused but smitten nonetheless, and Twitter is the thirstiest site on the planet.

paint on our lips (paint on those fingertips) by spicanao

(bnha; tododeku; angst + magical realism; 11k words; oneshot; gallery au)

Galleries are wonderful places. The works seem so vibrant, so beautiful, so alive.

Until they're actually alive.

(Ib AU)

[my bookmarks: holy shit this is beautiful in an odd, poignant, dream-like way]

Todoroki Shouto’s Amateur Guide to Not Fucking Up The Timeline by Anubis_2701

(bnha; tododeku; crack/humor; 13k words; oneshot; time travel; future fic)

All that Todoroki had wanted was milk. Nothing drastic, nothing dramatic, just milk.

Unfortunately, in his quest to get milk, he ended up running into one of the saltiest, most impulsive people this side of the globe. Who also just so happened to have a volatile time-travel quirk.

So yeah, he was fucked. Just slightly. Being punted randomly through time wasn't exactly how he'd wanted to spend his Saturday morning. At least the younger versions of his friends are cute.

awake and (un)afraid, asleep or- by driedupwishes

(bnha; tododeku; fluff + angst + The Feels; 54k words; oneshot; social media/future fic)

“You,” Shoto says, picking his head up from where his screen is filled with The Worst Photograph Ever, curtesy of Shinsou, Jiro, Kaminari, his brother, and nearly everyone they know. “You are so dead to me.”

Kirishima blinks, mouth half open while Izuku mutters oh god, it’s too late, isn’t it on the other end of the phone, before Kirishima is leaning into his space to see his screen.

“Oh,” he says, in response to the photo someone in the crowd of civilians watching the fight had taken of them. “Oh, that’s-” he cuts himself off for a minute, leaning back to eye Shoto’s face while on the other side of the phone Izuku smothers what is probably a laugh, and then changes tracks.

“It’s super manly to love and support your friends,” Kirishima tells Shoto haughtily, as if this whole thing isn't his fault in the first place.

-

or: Kirishima and Shoto accidentally start trending on Twitter and in retaliation Shoto decides to make an Instagram to showcase all his Hero Deku merchandise, so that everyone knows how much he loves his boyfriend Izuku, and no one expects how quickly it will all spiral out from there

[my bookmarks: broke my heart. i teared up multiple times and even now I'm barely holding back tears.

pure beauty. pulls an incredible amount of emotion from the descriptive language and conveys the love and loneliness and that pulsing ache so well that i thought that my chest would cave in from the force of all the fucking feelings in it. this entire fic was a perfect, awe-inspiring package of fluff, beautiful shoto and class 1a interaction, heartfelt long distance tododeku feels, and almost every single paragraph had my heart fucking squeezing so hard in my chest that i could barely breathe.

i am in awe.]

Hooliganisms by aphrodaisyacs

(bnha; gen/todofam; crack/humor; 17k words; series; social media)

In which an anonymous artist’s street art of Bald Endeavor goes viral, causing a chain of coincidental events and ironic situations to ripple through the lives of everyone- heroes, villains and civilians alike.

[my bookmarks: i'm crying so much from laughter]

Part 1: Where it all begins- the origins of the street artist known as the "Bald Hooligan" and their rise to infamy

Part 2: The spin-off focusing on the unlikely trio whose friendship was borne from the events of Part 1

Daydreaming by AnonymousTwit

(bnha; gen/todobakudeku; angst; 7k words; oneshot; todoroki-centric)

If he'd been more careful, then they'd be fine. If he'd been paying attention, then he wouldn't be alone right now.

But he wasn't and he hadn't, so it's just him, now. It's him, his thoughts, and the unconscious bodies of two of his closest friends as he waits for someone to reach them.

Whether they be friendly or not.

Or

Author has writer's block and coughed up some Todoroki angst in retaliation.

A Study in Firsts by Oceanbreeze7

(bnha; gen; angst + fluff + humor; 76k words; ongoing; class 1a-centric)

There’s a first time for everything.

The first time everyone crammed in Momo’s room to study, a mess of limbs and books on her bed.

The first time Mina burned crepes so badly the smoke alarm went off.

The first time a jumpscare got Sero so badly, he flipped off the back of the couch.

The first time Uraraka fell asleep at the table and accidentally sent it floating.

The first time someone realized Todoroki walked far too quietly, and far too cautiously around the dorms to be normal.

The first time Midoriya broke his toe on a door frame and kept walking through it.

The first time Kirishima woke up screaming through the walls.

The first time Tsuyu blanched at the sight of a needle.

The first time Bakugo dropped, clutching the back of his neck with eyes scarily vacant and detonating everything around him until Aizawa had to intervene.

It wasn’t always pretty, but the dorms were filled with firsts.

Responsibility by deafmic

(bnha; gen; angst + hurt/comfort; 94k words; series (complete); todoroki-centric; dadzawa + papamic)

“I told you outside,” Aizawa chooses his words carefully, reiterating the same point he’s made before. “My responsibility for you doesn’t end at the classroom. Every part of your life is partially my responsibility. Your father doesn’t scare or intimidate me. If you need help, I can get it for you, but you and I both know that you need to ask for it first.”

Aizawa organizes a way for the students to go home for the holidays. Todoroki Shouto, however, gets left behind by his father. Aizawa, annoyed at Endeavor, takes Shouto under his care for the night, and is joined by a certain Yamada Hizashi.

[my bookmarks: *unholy screaming sobbing noises*

an incredible and emotional journey from start to finish.]

the drip of melting ice by walking_through_autumn

(bnha; gen/platonic shintodo; angst + fluff; 19k words; oneshot; todoroki/shinsou-centric ft. dadzawa)

Aizawa found out within a day. It was quite likely due to the dish Todoroki had washed and left to dry in the shared kitchen after the kitten had been fed off it. Hitoshi was forced to reflect that it wasn’t any good hiding the litter and cat food in their wardrobes if Todoroki was going to make a fundamental mistake like that.

Aizawa stood in his door frame and raised an eyebrow. “Well? Where is the cat?”

Hitoshi gave his most disarming smile. “What cat?”

Todoroki chose that moment to exit his room, eyes on his phone, other hand holding a cat toy. He bumped into Aizawa and looked up slowly, like in a horror movie.

“...oh,” Todoroki said. Aizawa raised the other eyebrow. Hitoshi rubbed a hand down his face.

Herbal tea, weekly floor gatherings, spoiled surprises, movie marathons, shared custody over a cat, rain and ice and blankets and plushies, and the journey of falling into a friendship.

(Or: Hitoshi moves into the 2A dormitory at the beginning of his second year, learns who his neighbour is, and makes the friends he had declared he isn't there to have within the space of a semester.)

Hand in Hand in Hand by kngsbrg (Citlalcoatl)

(bnha; todobakudeku; fluff + strangers to lovers; 10k words; oneshot; tea au)

Boiling the water, choosing the right temperature for the right kind of tea, using quality leaves, scooping the precise amount, and letting it steep for just the perfect time...

All that and more is needed to make a delicious cup of tea.

A business that Shouto was quite knowledgeable about.

*

Spring begins and brings with it the hint of new fresh air, buds waiting to blossom, and just a bit of change.

[my bookmarks: featuring: oblivious teamaker shoto and pining firemen baku and izu]

even if i die (it's you) by monomoon

(bnha; todobaku; fluff + angst + strangers to lovers; 75k words; complete; paramedic au)

Or; where Todoroki never went to UA and, in rejection of his father's ambitions, became a paramedic; and where pro hero Bakugou Katsuki is just a little bit too intrigued with the heterochromatic man who always glares daggers at him whenever he sees him.

When Bakugou was suddenly and abruptly met with two cold, heterochromatic eyes glaring daggers right back at him, he had two immediate thoughts:

"Why does he look like he's plotting my assassination?"

and

"Why the fuck are his eyes so pretty?"

[my bookmarks: UGH THIS IS JUST FUCKING PHENOMENAL- GORGEOUS LOVELY INCREDIBLE HEARTSTOPPING HEARTBREAKING BEAUTIFUL RIDICULOUSLY GOOD POIGNANT I AM RUNNING OUT OF ADJECTIVES BUT IT'S GREAT TRUST ME AKDHJSFNW]

This Is Now by colormesherlocked

(bnha; gen; angst + hurt/comfort + fluff; 193k words; series (ongoing); todoroki-centric)

Todoroki Shoto will be a hero.

...But not just yet. Right now, Todoroki Shoto is a bitter, pessimistic, hurt teenager who doesn't want help, friends or hinderances of any kind getting in the way of his misguided goals.

Thankfully, there will soon be people in his life who will be more than happy to drag him into a place of happiness, safety, and acceptance - kicking and screaming the whole way, if they have to. All he has to do is survive his first meeting with them and all the incredible changes that will come after.

This is Todoroki Shoto's Hero Academia.

(Semi-canon compliant up to a point and told from Todoroki Shoto's POV.)

the league of anti-villains by aizawa_wears_crocs (avenris), avenris

(bnha; gen; angst + fluff + humor; 35k words; ongoing; todobakushinmono-centric)

When he's secretly tasked to find the UA traitor, Todoroki isn't expecting help. He's especially not expecting it from the three other first year students perceived as villainous in their own ways. Unfortunately for him, Shinsou, Monoma and Bakugou have all got something to prove, and his solo mission turns into a team effort that rapidly spirals far beyond what they were expecting to find - but hey, they're in too deep now.

Or: in which the gang solves the mystery of the traitor feat. todoroki family shenanigans, copious amounts of dadzawa, backstory for my favorite 1-B gremlin, and good old-fashioned illegal vigilantism.

such eloquent graffiti by firelilyblooms

(bnha; todobaku; angst + hurt/comfort; 9k words; oneshot; todoroki-centric; future fic)

Todoroki Shouto is sitting cross-legged at his coffee table, hunched over a bowl of instant ramen, when he finds out along with the rest of the world that the Flame Hero, Endeavor, is dead.

Or, Shouto's guide to dealing with death.

[my bookmarks: i am in ✨pain✨:)]

Tell-All by HopeNight

(bnha; todofam; angst; 4k words; oneshot; todofam/natsuo-centric)

When Natsuo is twenty-years-old, he publishes a tell-all book on his father and growing up in his house. This starts a domino effect, of course. With the book comes an investigation and sets the groundwork for the Hawks scandal in several years’ time that will see the disbandment of the Heroic Public Safety Commission and the ascension of pro hero Deku to the Number One slot. This will also lead to a decades long chain of change and progress with Deku wielding his influence and charisma like a sword and shield to make society and the world a little better than when he found it.

In essence, you can say, that Todoroki Natsuo is the true hero of this story with his fake quirk and an anger burning in his gut. Just one small book and suddenly…everything changes. The future is brighter for its existence. The curtains are thrown back and the light begins its work to disinfect and cleanse.

When Todoroki Shouto is in his second year of UA, his brother, Natsuo, publishes a tell-all book of essays about growing up in Endeavor's house.

This is Natsuo's story about how he really changed the path of things.

like an open wound by filzmonster

(bnha; gen; angst + hurt/comfort; 5k words; oneshot; todoroki-centric; manga spoilers)

It's a Sunday and Shouto is making gyoza in the dorm kitchen - or: It's a Sunday and Todoroki has an existential crisis over food.

[my bookmarks: oh my GODDDDDDDDD

*screeches while crying**is a blubbering mess*]

Shouto Todoroki and His Stuffed Eeyore (And Also Childhood Trauma) by ThatSpicySeaFlapFlap

(bnha; gen; angst + MORE ANGST; 42k words; complete; todoroki-centric)

Aizawa looked him in the eye, placed a gentle hand around his bicep (not like Endeavor, his father had only ever touched him with the intention to burn) and asked, “Are you okay?”

People don’t usually ask him things. They like to tell him things, like where to sit or what to wear or how to talk or how to be a hero or how to be himself.

‘Am I okay?’ He thought. He realized he doesn’t ask himself things, either.

Shouto didn’t have an answer to Aizawa’s question, so instead he said:

“A very long time ago, my mother did something....highly upsetting.” The boy was tracing the outline of his scar, his calloused finger stopping and jumping around the bumps and ridges of the burnt skin. “Something today reminded me of that.”

“Do you want to talk about it?” His teacher asked.

“No.”

“Okay. I’m here when you do. I’m always here, kid.” Shouto only responded with a sob. He felt as if he’d earned that right after all the emotional labor he had been put through tonight.

days by chibistarlyte

(bnha; todobaku; angst + hurt/comfort; 19k words; series (complete); todoroki-centric)

Most days, Shouto is fine.

But some days...

Some days, Shouto falls apart.

Location Sent by sunflowerstorm

(bnha; gen; angst + hurt/comfort; 15k words; oneshot; todoroki-centric; third year 1a)

In their first year at UA Midoriya sent his location to the class 1-A group chat during the Hosu incident because he didn't have time to do anything else before rushing to Iida's aid.

Now in their second year, Todoroki sends his location to the group chat at 6:30am on a Saturday morning after going home for the weekend. Midoriya knows immediately that something is very wrong and takes off, Bakugo hot on his heels.

-----

"They’d known each other long enough to be able to communicate practically wordlessly. The quiet rage on Midoriya's face was extremely telling, this was bad. Bakugo braced himself as Midoriya shuffled to the side to show where his hands were hovering over what was most certainly a burn and a serious one at that. Todoroki’s own fire didn’t burn him but they all knew that didn’t make him fire proof. Bakugo could do the math."

Faith by phinnium

(bnha; gen; angst + hurt/comfort; 7k words; oneshot; todoroki-centric; manga spoilers)

"You wanted to open a case?"

Aizawa frowned, "uh, yeah. Someone showed you Dabi's video, didn't they? And I don't doubt Todoroki himself has told you bits and pieces."

Izuku did not expect this to be how the conversation went.

"Yeah. But Todoroki isn't being hurt now. He's fine. Endeavour's changed."

Or: Midoriya trusts the Hero Commission far more than he should, especially given the situation at hand. Todoroki isn't available to explain what's what, so Aizawa and Bakugou do it instead.

(Written after the release of issue 293 of the manga, and in the aftermath of the current arc. Spoilers ahead.)

Incendiary by macrauchenia

(bnha; gen; angst + hurt/comfort; 17k words; ongoing (hiatus?); todoroki-centric)

"You're going to die, little Todoroki. And if you don't, your classmates will instead."

A training exercise backfires when Izuku and Todoroki become tangled in an escaped villain's vendetta against Endeavor. Alone in a perilous situation due to the villain's barrier quirk, Todoroki must take desperate and creative measures to save his classmates.

[Class 1-A Teamwork/Bonding]

Parallax by petrichor (findingkairos)

(bnha; gen; angst + hurt/comfort + fluff; 64k words; ongoing; todoroki-centric)

Todoroki Shouto has memories that he didn't make on his own, motor skills that his brain doesn't know how to parse, and a love of science and mathematics and physics that means he broke down his Quirk into its most intricate, universe-bending components at the age of seven.

In one universe, he wants to become a hero. In this one, even though he doesn't want to, he might have to.

(Featuring: a rapidly developing Shoutosquad, Quirk science, headcanons of all flavors, healthy and supportive sibling and sibling-like relationships, and Dadzawa.)

[notes: one of my current favorite fics that i’m eagerly following for the next update. :D]

Caturdays by staqua (aka my fav todobaku author)

(bnha; todobaku; fluff + angst + enemies to lovers; 10k words; oneshot)

"Hmm... It's lunchtime now isn't it? You should have lunch with him."

"With Bakugou?" He blanched. "I think he would refuse and then murder me."

Rei chuckled softly as if death was a joke and held his hand tenderly. "If he's in the hospital, someone he cares about must not be well. I think anyone going through that should have a nice meal with good company."

"You overestimate me," Shouto pointed out and she gave another laugh.

OR: Shouto's usual Saturdays included visits to his mother and the cat cafe; he wasn't expecting Bakugou to get thrown in the mix.

voltron: legendary defender:

*hacks twitter in space* by Zakyuu 

(vld x marvel; gen/klance; crack/humor + fluff; 17k words; social media au; ongoing)

the voltron paladins arent as popular as the avengers, obviously — in fact, no one even knows they exist. but they still radiate the same kind of dumb gay energy like the rest of the world.

or: pidge somehow manages to connect voltron's communicators onto earth and virtually nothing is the same. voltron also collectively makes everyone lose their marbles while they play hot potato with the fact that theyre in a ten thousand year war with the galra.

the fear of falling by amillionsmiles

(vld; gen; angst + fluff; character study; 3k words; oneshot; keith-centric)

Keith can pull off a downward spiral. It's the kind of maneuver he does in his sleep.

[my bookmarks: stunning. beautiful. breathtaking. poignant.]

Recoil/Release by Cheshyr

(vld; gen; angst + hurt/comfort; 22k words; oneshot; keith-centric)

When Keith is bitten by an alien creature with venom that causes your dominant emotions to be amplified, the team is ready for a day of dealing with an incredibly angry paladin.

Which means they're not ready at all for what actually happens.

hound by story_monger

(vld; gen; angst + hurt/comfort; 47k words; oneshot; keith-centric)

Keith has a lot of practice being alone; you might almost say he's good at it. When he finds himself seriously injured and stranded on an unknown planet, he knows he's not alone there. And here's the worst part: even after rescue and after things return to normal, Keith gets the distinct sense that whatever was on that planet has followed him. He doesn't have proof. But he knows it's there. He knows it's not going to stop until it gets what it wants.

Keith's 'Physical Contact' Initiation Program by alisayamin (sh_04e)

(vld; gen; fluff+ angst + hurt/comfort; 26k words; oneshot; keith-centric)

Keith didn’t move and neither did Pidge. It was a little awkward until Keith finally said, “Maybe we could officially officiate this..?”

“What do you mean?”

“Fist me.”

Pidge recoiled and sputtered, “Keith, what the f-” She was cut off by Shiro’s bellowing laughter from the observatory deck.

With his straight face unchanged, Keith lowered his left hand with the stopwatch and lifted his right hand, fisted.

Pidge actually sighed with so much relief, “OH. You mean fistbump! Right.” She slapped her forehead to remove the very very wrong image her imagination drew for her, “Holy shit, Keith, we need to work on that but yeah sure, I’d be honoured to officiate your physical contact program whatever.”

Or

That one time Coran realized Keith was too distant and decided to make him undergo the 'Physical Contact' Initiation Program which then led to --> 5 times the paladins realized Keith was an actual cat.

The Red String by Le_Tournesol

(vld; gen/klance; angst + fluff; 19k words; series (ongoing); keith-centric; pre-voltron au)

Lance and Keith keep coming across one another at different points in their lives.

[my bookmarks: this is so sad and sweet and lovely]

All that is gold does not glitter by Rangergirl3

(vld; gen; angst + fluff + hurt/comfort; 28k words; complete; keith-centric)

Keith isn't what most would call a 'people' person, but that doesn't stop him from caring about his team.

aka

Five Times the other Paladins learned something about Keith, and the One Time he learned something about them.

[my bookmarks: fuck. just- fuck.]

Miscommunication Celebration by SleepySsnail

(vld; gen; fluff + hurt/comfort; 4k words; oneshot; keith-centric; birthday fic)

Keith was never too focused on his birthday, but when it rolls around he hopes his team remembers it. When Keith's birthday is full of quality time and fun, he doesn't even question why his friends haven't said "happy birthday" to him.

Or: Where Keith thinks everyone is celebrating his birthday when they really forgot about it.

Keithtober 2019 Day 23: Birthday

avatar: the last airbender:

Change of Address by hearmerory

(atla; gen/zukka; ANGST + fluff + hurt/comfort; 89k words; series (ongoing); zuko-centric; modern au)

A collection of instances in a modern AU of Zuko's shitty childhood, featuring Ozai's dislike of his son's autism and sexuality.

[my bookmarks: FUCK F U C K WHAT THE ACTUAL F U C K.

I CAN'T WITH THIS ANYMORE.]

[dontshootmespence]

Teetering on the Edge

Summary: You and Dean are meant for each other, but in his line of work, he deems your relationship too dangerous for the long haul, pushing you away, leaving you both worse for the wear.

Pairing: Alpha!Dean x Omega!Reader

Word Count: 1,893

Warnings: Cursing, nausea, vomiting, fever, seizures.

A/N: This will fulfill my ‘pining sickness’ square for @spnabobingo​, soulmate au (same mark on each other’s skin that reaches for its counterpart when there’s distance between you) for @spnfluffbingo (sorry I never seem to be able to do strict fluff with supernatural characters XD) and ‘I’d rather be in danger with you than safe without you’ for @spnquotebingo​.

“What the fuck is wrong with you?” You screamed, racing down the stairs after him. There was no way he was going to walk away and pretend this wasn’t happening. Not anymore. “Don’t fucking walk away from me!”

Dean rounded on so fast it scared you. “Y/N, I am toxic!” He bellowed, stopping Sam in his tracks behind you. “Every, single, time I get involved with someone, they die! Monsters, hunters, angels, demons, shitty fucking humans! It doesn’t matter. They will use you to get to me!”

“So what?” You stormed into the kitchen and grabbed a bottle of beer, snapping the cap off through sheer anger before taking a long sip. Even alcohol wasn’t helping your rattling nerves. “When you love someone, you do things you wouldn’t normally do! Did I expect this life? No way, but I’m in it now and I’m in love with you, you fucking moron!”

He hesitated slightly, your words undoubtedly getting to him despite himself. “Well, I don’t feel the same way.”

Sam glared at him disbelievingly, not saying a word. Dean elbowed you out of the way of the refrigerator and grabbed another beer, downing nearly half of it before continuing. “I care about you. And I care about you enough to turn you away from me and this life.” 

“Don’t you fucking dare pull that neanderthal bullshit with me, Alpha!” You yelled your throat hoarse. Sam dipped out of the area and back toward his bedroom. It didn’t matter. Whether he was here or not, you’d be seething. “You don’t get to decide my life for me! Have you ever thought that maybe I’d rather be in danger with you than safe without you?” He readied himself to respond but you pushed against his shoulder with a force that startled even you. “Did you ever stop to think that I’ve waited my entire life to find the person I was supposed to spend the rest of my life with? And that now that I found him, I’ll be damned if I let him go?”

You were on a roll. Dean wanted to speak, but you wouldn’t let him. “No! You didn’t fucking think about what I want! Because your number one priority is to make sure you don’t have anymore blood on your hands. Well, guess what. You don’t get to do that. Not with me! When you care, you get blood on your hands. That’s just the way it is. I get to make my own damn decisions!” It all just exploded out of you. You kept screaming and crying and drinking to the point where you weren’t even sure what you were saying anymore. As you kept going, your arguments shifted from his demeanor to your own health. “You claimed me,” you said, pulling your sleeve aside to shove the mark in his face. “You know what’ll happen to me without you? I could fucking die!” 

Dean waited for you to stop ranting, steadily finishing his beer. Once you were all yelled out, he chose his words wisely. “There’s medication. You’ll be fine. You’re not going to change my mind,” he said flatly, trying to keep any sense of emotion out of his voice, even though you could tell he was right on the edge of acknowledging every amazing and shit feeling he was feeling in this moment. “I need you to get out of the bunker as soon as possible. For your own good.”

Without thinking, you reeled back and slapped him, open palm to cheek, relishing in the sound of the crack that reverberated throughout the bunker. “Fuck you, Alpha! Fuck. You.”

You kept his gaze as you dipped down to grab your bag. If he was going to pull this bullshit, he was going to look into your broken gaze and suffer while he did it. You weren’t going to be the only one to feel like jumping off the edge of a cliff. Fuck him. 

As you climbed the stairs, you glanced down at your hand and glimpsed the ring he’d given you. Boiling with anger, you ripped it off your finger and threw it at him, turning to leave before he could see the tears rolling down your cheeks.

----

You knew the possibilities. It could be as little as a fever and nausea that plagued you. Or it could go to the other end of the spectrum and kill you. With tear-stained cheeks, and no care for who saw you in this state, you headed out the night after your fight with Dean and meet with a doctor at an urgent clinic that specialized in working with omegas. After he checked your vital signs, he leaned against the wall. You felt no threat from him. He was an unassuming beta, which is why you tended to come here. “What can I help you with?”

“I was wondering if I might be able to get some medication to combat pining sickness?” You swiped the silently falling tears and snot from your face with the back of your sleeve. 

“You’re mated?”

“Yes, but my Alpha is a pig-headed, son-of-a-bitch in a dangerous line of work that thinks he’s doing me favors by staying away from me.”

“He knows how dangerous pining sickness can be, right?”

Nodding, you stared down at the mark on your hand, cursing its movement as another tear slipped down your cheek. “Yea, but he said there’s medication and he’s adamant that he’s too dangerous for me to be around.”

“He should’ve thought about that before mating with you,” the beta said angrily. When he met your gaze, his own softened. “I can give you something. I hope he comes to his senses, but if he doesn’t I can write up refills for as long as you need, okay?”

A strained smile was all you could muster as you took the prescription from him and bid him a good day, thanking him again for his time and understanding. Less than an hour later, your prescription was filled. One pill a day. Down the hatch.

----

Shakily, you took another pill. Five days since Dean had shoved you out of his life. It started with shakes and a fever, despite the pill. If you didn’t have the pill you might be dead already. 

Pain racked your body, tensed every muscle so badly you could do almost nothing but sleep. Pulling the covers back up over your head, you attempted to shut your eyes against the pain. Bile burnt at the back of your throat. You barely made it to the sink before the little food you’d been able to eat the last few days found its way back up and out. 

Wiping the remnants away, you fell back against the wall and slipped to the cold, hard tile. It took all the strength you had to reach into your pocket and call Sam. Dean wouldn’t pick up, but Sam might. And maybe he could convince Dean to pull his head out of his ass. 

“Hello? Y/N?” Sam asked, his voice growing more concerned when you didn’t answer him. “Y/N, are you there?”

You replied, your voice barely above a whisper, despite trying. “Sam, I’m not well. Dean won’t pick up. I’m shaking. I have a crazy fever, even though I’m on meds. I can’t sleep and it’s only getting worse. Every day. I feel like my insides are boiling. Please, talk to him.”

“You’re on medication?”

“Since the day after I walked out. It’s not helping. Without it, I’d be dead already. Please, Sam. Try. Or I’m not gonna make it.”

Sam’s reply got caught in his throat. “I’ll get him to pull his head out of his ass, I promise.”

A laugh escaped you, but it hurt. “It’s really far up there, Sam.”

“I know.”

----

Every movement felt like climbing a mountain. And every waking moment was a fight to keep living. You started having seizures and could barely keep any food down. Water was all you could stomach.

Another three days past before you heard from Sam again. “He’s immovable, Y/N. Is the medication helping at all?”

“No,” you sobbed, though no tears slid down onto your pillow. “I’m having seizures. I’m burning up. I’m trying to stay on my side so that I don’t choke if I have a seizure, but I’m- I’m not gonna make it. I need you to tell Dean that despite everything...I loved him.”

Hanging up, you tossed the phone across the room with the strength you could muster and teared up again at the sight of the mark on your hand. It had always reminded you of an oak tree, but now the leaves looked like tendrils, crawling across your skin in search of its counterpart. You ran your opposite thumb across the mark and fell asleep, not knowing whether you’d wake up the next morning.

----

Dim light shined into your eyes the following morning, practically blinding you. Your muscles were stiff, barely limber enough to prop yourself up in bed without searing pain, but you managed, taking another pill even though it probably wasn’t doing anything.

Taking a trip to the bathroom was a monumental affair, but on the way you grabbed your phone again. You were so tired. You weren’t going to make it another day. Teetering on the edge of an abyss.

Once again on the bed, you called Dean this time, not surprised when it went to voicemail. “Hey, Alpha. I just...I needed to call you one last time. My temperature’s 105. I can barely move my muscles. I’m having seizures. I won’t make it another day. I know I asked Sam to tell you, but I needed you to hear it from me. Despite everything, despite your bull-headedness and completely dumbassery...I love you. I knew when we first met, even before I saw the mark on your hand, that you were my soulmate. And even though I’m not going to make it, the years we spent together were the best of my life.”

The phone slipped from your grasp after you hung up, thudding against the sheets. Through the gossamer curtains, you marveled at the sun, remembered what it looked like the day you met Dean, before drifting off to sleep.

----

A strong grasp shook you awake.

“Alpha?”

“’Mega, ‘M here.”

When you opened your eyes, you saw his soft greens gazing back at you, filmed by tears as deep as the ocean. “Am I dead?”

“No,” he sobbed. “Mega, I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have pushed you away. I was a fuckin idiot. Stay with me.”

His hands slid up the dry, cracked skin on your arms and up your face. His touch was warm - home. “Fucking idiot would be an understatement.”

Something between a laugh and a sob left his lips. “I know. Baby, ‘Mega, open your eyes.” His thumb traveled back and forth over your cheek, coaxing your eyes to open. “That’s it. Just...stay with me, okay?”

He spoke to you as he stripped himself of his clothes and you of yours, crawling into bed behind you. When his skin melted into yours, you felt a modicum of relief. Something that gave you the slightest bit of hope. “Don’t leave me,” you whispered. 

His hand grasped yours, the mark on his hand melding with yours. “Never again.”

[nemesis-is-my-middle-name]

#13: Relax

(Read it on AO3 here!)

It’s the morning after everything happened at Kingsmen Mechanics. Things are quiet now. Arthur and Lance are both asleep in their rooms. Vivi’s passed out on the couch, and Mystery is settled into a corner, asleep on a blanket. In a different corner of the living room, Lewis drifts curled up, not truly asleep but not really awake, either.

He stirs when he feels something shift, and then Arthur comes into the room. He’s trembling slightly, his hand pressed against the space between his shoulder and neck in what’s becoming a familiar nervous habit. He glances around as he enters like he’s worried about waking somebody else up.

Unfortunately, Vivi also manages to detect his presence – Lewis has to wonder if she ever really fell asleep – and shifts upright, running a hand through her hair. “Oh, hey, Arthur. Mm… what’dya want?”

“Just- uh- j-just came in to- to-g- to get a drink.”

Lewis frowns, finally uncurling all the way and standing up. His stammer is stronger than normal, his voice shaking and cracked – something’s not right. He looks almost panicked, too.

“You sure?”

“Y-yeah.”

“Arthur, seriously. You look like…” it takes Vivi a moment to think of a good analogy. “You look like you’re gonna shatter if someone breathes on you too hard.”

He shakes his head, the movement too twitchy to be at all convincing. “S-s-seriously, I- I’m- I’m f-fine.”

“No, come on. It’s totally reasonable to be upset! After last night-? But if you tell me what’s going on, I can help-“

“I’m fine!” he snaps, shouting her down despite the crack in his voice. “Just- st-stop. I’m jus- ju- just tired, th- is all.”

“Is it Lewis? If-“

He backs up abruptly, spinning and walking out of the room.

Vivi and Lewis exchange a look.

There's a pit of worry growing in Lewis’s stomach. Is it him? It's perfectly understandable that Arthur might not be comfortable with- with him, not after he’d tried to kill him so many times, nearly succeeded, and given that he barely even looks like himself anymore. But… he’d said it was fine, and he’d sounded so honest – surely he couldn’t lie that well, not if he was this scared, right? Lewis knows him well enough to be able to tell – right?

After answers, or maybe reassurance, he stands and follows his path out of the room.

He finds Arthur in his room, sitting on the bed, glaring at the wall. At a glance he just looks angry, but Lewis knows even before he looks closer that he’s not – he almost never is. And sure enough, there are tear-tracks running down his cheeks and his breathing is shaky and uneven.

He knocks on the doorframe, and Arthur’s head snaps up, brow unfurrowing into confusion when he sees him.

“Arthur, can… can we please talk? About… whatever’s bothering you?” Arthur inhales, but Lewis interrupts him. “Even if it’s nothing.”

His expression darkens again, and he shifts a little on the bed, moving closer to the headboard. “F-f-fine. Come in an-and close the door.”

He does so, carefully watching Arthur for cues as he sits down opposite him on the bed.

“You’re not gonna t-t-tell anyone, ri- r-right?”

Lewis can’t answer the question honestly, but Arthur seems to understand that when he meets his eyes. He sighs and looks down at his knees. “It’s… it’s Mys- m- Mystery.”

Oh.

Lewis silently replays a scene from last night in his head. After Mystery had explained everything – and admitted to keeping it all secret – Vivi had been furious. So had Lewis and Lance, to some extent, but Vivi was the angriest. She’d defended him, comforted him when Arthur was afraid of him and hurt his feelings, went head-to-head with a tree demon to protect him – and he’d never even bothered to tell her the truth? About anything?

He’d let everyone think Arthur’s fear of him was irrational, that Lewis’s disappearance was just a disappearance, watched Vivi struggle with her memory loss and said nothing? He stayed silent while Arthur tore himself apart searching for someone he knew was dead? He knew who Lewis was – and knew why he was chasing them – and said nothing! He still called himself their protector, even as he hid the truth from them!

And that wasn’t even counting that he knew full well why the tree monster was after him, and that he honestly should have expected this, and knew that she wasn’t evil she was just upset – and he still pulled Vivi out of the van and silently watched as the two of them fought each other, each not understanding what the other was thinking, and only stepped in when Vivi was about to die.

The only one who hadn’t agreed with the others, also the one who had the most right to be angry, was Arthur. Even with a shaking hand – that they’d all attributed to exhaustion and injury at the time – he’d reached between all the shouting and argued against them. Mystery was just doing what he thought was best, he said. He was trying to help everyone. He wasn’t omniscient or all-powerful and besides he was hurt, couldn’t they just leave this until he was healed?

Vivi fell silent at that – just as she had earlier, when Arthur was defending Lewis. She couldn’t find the words to keep arguing with him. The same exhaustion that was making her anger so hot made it impossible to debate rationally, so she’d given it up and warned Mystery to stay on the couch while everyone else went to bed.

And now Lewis knows that after defending him against his friends, Arthur went to bed and probably laid awake, tense and terrified, precisely because he’d let one of his biggest sources of trauma sleep right outside his room. Right after the events of last night, Mystery’s possession and sudden rampage, opened that trauma wide up. He tries and fails to imagine how he’d feel if Arthur had, of his own free will, instead of just pushing him off a cliff, taken a weapon and violently cut him apart. And then he watched him do something very similar the night before he returned to the group. The only emotion he can muster is a gut-wrenching fear.

He’s been silent for too long, and Arthur starts talking again, pressing his hand against his collar between his shoulder and neck. “I mean- I- I know it’s it- itr-r- ira- st-stupid, but I don’t- I can’t- get myself to, t-to believe it, and I’m tr-trying, I don’t- I d-don’t want him to-“

“Arthur,” he says sternly, and immediately regrets it when Arthur shrinks back, shoulders tensing. “It’s not irrational. It’s not stupid. No amount of good intentions erases the fact that he attacked you and seriously hurt you, and then-“ he takes a breath before he starts ranting. “And last night, he very nearly did the same thing again. You deserve to be afraid of him."

“But it- it d-doesn’t mean I get to ki- kick him out!”

“This is your house! And besides – I think all of us care more about you feeling safe than about Mystery’s feelings getting hurt.”

“I… but…”

“We’re all upset with him too, you know. And he’ll be fine if he leaves. It’s not like he has nowhere else to go.” He tilts his head slightly. “Be honest. Would you be more relaxed if he wasn’t here? Not just out in the parking lot – if he left.”

Arthur stares at the blankets for a long while, apparently thinking. He nods. “…yeah.”

“Good. Then he’s gone.” Lewis almost reaches out and takes his hand, but second-guesses himself at the last moment. He stands and walks to the door.

Vivi’s still in the living room, draped over the back of the couch and looking mostly asleep. He feels bad about disturbing her – but he knows she’ll agree that this is more important than a few minutes of sleep.

She picks her head up when he enters the room, anyway. “Mm- Lew… is. Did you… talk to him?”

“Yeah.” He walks a little closer, and she doesn’t stop him, just blinks the sleep from her eyes. “It’s… it’s Mystery.”

She huffs at that, sitting up a little more. “Of course it is!”

“What’s me?” The dog – not a dog – in question is awake now, stretching his paws out and yawning, unconcerned with the bandages still wrapped around his midsection.

“He’s really freaked out, huh?”

“Of course he is.”

“You know, I’ve been wanting to do this.” She rolls to her feet and puts her hands on her hips, glaring down. “Mystery! Out.”

He bristles. “Excuse me?”

“You heard me! Get out. You’re not welcome here. Find somewhere else to lick your wounds.” She points sharply at the door.

“You forget that Arthur argued against you when you tried this last night! I will not-“

“Oh, don’t you dare play that card, you know what he’s like and you know that’s a bullshit argument. Get out.”

“And what would you have me do? Go and leave you undefended? What if-“

Vivi’s fist slams down on the armrest. “No! Shut the fuck up! You don’t get to talk about protecting us. You have lost that fucking privilege! After everything you’ve done- or, excuse me, haven’t done? You are not our protector. You haven’t protected shit in years. That role is not yours to claim anymore.”

He falls silent, staring at her. She- doesn’t relax, but she stands a little taller, still glaring down at him.

“You can leave now, or I can go wake up Lance. Your choice.”

He folds his ears tightly back and picks himself up, careful not to pull at the bandages. “…Fine.”

She has to open the door for him. When he's gone and the door falls back into the frame, the little bell above it chiming, she sighs and leans against the wall, putting her face in her arm.

“I still can’t believe I tried to defend him. While he just watched.”

Lewis wants nothing more than to comfort her, to go and reassure her that it wasn’t her fault for believing him, for not realizing how much he’d lied about what he was – but he hesitates. It isn't his place. This is his fault too, for dragging Arthur into the truck and leaving her to fight the tree monster alone.

Eventually, he speaks up. “I… can go tell Arthur he’s gone.”

She nods. “Yeah, sure, okay. I’m gonna… go lie down again.”

He doesn’t have to go far, it turns out. Arthur’s hovering in the doorway between the hall and the living room, rubbing his shoulder and looking… significantly less panicked, but still worried and uncertain.

“You- you d-didn’t have to yell,” he says when he realizes they’re looking at him.

“Yeah, well, I wanted to. He earned that.”

He swallows hard, taking a step back.

“You wanna come sit down?” Vivi asks, pointing to the couch.

“Actually, I- uh- I’d rather go- lie down- in- in bed.” He hesitates for a moment, looking between the two of them, and then his gaze settles on Lewis as he asks, “do… you guys- can- uh- d’you wanna… come too?”

“Is that a genuine offer?” Vivi says, pausing in her slow descent onto the couch. “Because, yeah, I do.”

Any question as to whether the offer was genuine is answered when she says that and Arthur relaxes, shoulders slumping out of their tense posture. “‘course it- it was.”

Lewis follows them cautiously, still unsure if he’s really included. Halfway there, he can’t resist calling out, “Arthur?”

He turns around to look at him, tilting his head. He still looks exhausted and twitchy, but it’s miles better than he was doing a few minutes ago.

“I… be honest, please. I… I have plenty of other places to go, so… do you want me to leave, too?”

He’s about to continue, nerves making him ramble, but Arthur closes the distance between them and snags his sleeve cuff, meeting his eyes. “Look- Lew, I- I know- I probably s-s-seem… still, uh, ne-t- nervous, but- I’d be more freaked out if- if you… left.” His eyes are shiny, and his voice breaks on the final sentence, “I… I don’t want you to disappear again.”

Oh.

He can’t help but think, as Arthur leads him down the hall by the hand, that he doesn’t deserve this – not after Mystery was kicked out – but he does his best to convince his uncertain mind that there's still a huge difference between the two of them. And as Arthur had said last night – completely honest – Lewis had never managed to truly hurt him, and now he’d realized he didn’t even want to. He was… safe.

It didn’t feel right, but there was nothing to do but accept it.

[sirowsky]

The Flowers Always Know

Description: When a mad scientist uses you as an experiment while you’re on holiday, the Heroics only just manage to save you. And in your recovery you become very close to the leader of the group. (Slow burn)

Rating: Mature

Warnings: Language, Angst.

Link to Masterlist

Comment: This was painful to write. If you don’t do well with angst, I recommend skipping this chapter. BUT - there is a happy ending!

Chapter 30

  “Ah, there you are. We’ve been waiting. Now, before you try anything, I have fail-safes in place in case you try and stop me, and they all end in tragedy. Like this nasty little explosive underneath their chairs, for instance.”

  You stood frozen to the spot, trembling with fear, and not an inkling of it for yourself.

  “Don’t… Don’t do this.”

  “Not to worry, my sweet. With the help of your data, I’ve been able to streamline the process. Theoretically, I should be able to directly transfer powered cells from Marcus into his daughter. The familial DNA should help alleviate any foreign-cell attacks. Though, I’m afraid it will still be painful.”

  “My data? Someone’s been feeding you my medical information?”

  “Oh, yes. I don’t think you realise just how many people in this world are interested in levelling the playing-field. I mean, how’d you think I got out of prison?”

  While he spoke, he made the final calculations to start his experiment, and as the machines started whirring and clicking, your fear escalated into full-blown panic.   They were both unconscious, for the time being, but you knew that once the pain started, they’d be forced awake. You didn’t actually remember that from your own experience with this experiment, but you still knew that it was true.   You sneaked a ghost hand towards one of the machines and unhooked a tube that was connected to Missy’s arm, at the other end, trying to buy time.   The machine started beeping to indicate that something was wrong.

  “Now, now, sweetie. Don’t go sabotaging this, or your precious family might not come out of it quite as alright as both of us would like.”

  As he walked over to reconnect the tube, he tapped on something on his belt, and you recognised an identical device to what the Inventor had used to protect himself against powers. Someone in HQ had betrayed you all, and the feeling burned through you with an aftertaste of hate.

  “My family are not your fucking toys!”

  The room shook significantly, and he looked around with real wonder in his eyes.

  “That’s impressive. See, didn’t I give you a wonderful gift?”

  “No. I would’ve preferred to stay ordinary and dull for the rest of my life if it had meant not having to live through that shit.”

  “Do you really expect me to believe that? Look at where you are. None of this would have happened if I hadn’t taken you. You should be more grateful.”

  “I do see where I am, and I would rather have never met them at all, if it meant they were spared from this.”

  “People are inherently selfish, which is why I don’t believe you. Now, let’s get started. And a word of warning, my dear – if you disrupt the process once it’s already started, you’ll kill them both. And I doubt if you could bring both of them back from the dead without killing yourself.”

  He hit a button on the computer keypad, and the Machine connected to Marcus came alive, and started siphoning out powered cells from his blood-stream.   He woke up after just a few seconds, unable to move at all, and you could see the pain in his eyes.   Helpless to do anything else, you reached out to him with your ghost energy, trying to let him know that you were there and that you were trying to save him. You could feel him trying to use his powers, but the machine disrupted it, and caused him even more pain.

  “Please, stop!”

  The second machine, the one connected to Missy, started whirring and moving, and your blood instantly flipped from freezing to boiling.   You couldn’t stand the thought of her even knowing this amount of pain, much less being forced to suffer it, for god knows how long.   And as she woke up, and that pain became visible in her eyes, something old and sure and endlessly powerful took over your mind.   There wasn’t a single thought, not so much as an echo of anything rational or logical or sensible. The maternal instinct was all-powerful in a way that nothing else could compare to. And the power it created together with your abilities, was beyond belief.   The house disappeared, and so did Dr. Prince and all of his equipment, and you could feel the moment that both Marcus and Missy’s hearts stopped beating.   But it didn’t frighten you, because you were a healer.   Moving up to crouch in between them, where they now laid on the bare ground, you took one of their hands in each one of yours, and exchanged your life for theirs.   You had hoped to be able to stay alive long enough to see their faces one last time, but the energy required to heal them, combined with what you’d already spent, was too much, and you needed the single grain you had left, for one last thing. One small, but so very important thing.   You fell away without seeing anything but the blue sky above you.

  It was okay, though. They were worth it.

 ***

  Marcus was working in his office when Missy came to find him. It had been a long day, and he was so tired he could have fallen asleep sitting up.   But he knew that even if he were to lay down in a soft and cool bed right then, he still wouldn’t have succumbed to that blissful nothingness.   He hadn’t slept more than a couple of hours at a time, since the incident, and he was long past exhausted.

  “Dad, are you coming?”

  She came to get him every day after school. She had for the past month, and he didn’t have the heart to ask her not to.

  “Yeah. I’ll be right there, sweetheart.”

  She turned and headed off to medical, and he got up to follow her. A part of him wanted to turn around and run in the opposite direction. A part of him wanted to never have to set foot in that fucking room again.   But that was just the fear. The love was so much stronger, and it relentlessly dragged him back there, day and night, no matter how badly it hurt.

  Missy was already hopped up on the bed, sitting cross-legged by your feet, when he walked in. She was so hopeful still. So positive. All Marcus could feel was pain.   Every time he saw you, he saw those moments. Those short, few seconds that had taken everything away.   He’d seen it in your eyes just before your power erupted. The complete lack of thought as your mind reverted to pure instinct, to protect your daughter. His daughter.   He’d seen how you’d dispatched the entire house, and everything that threatened your family, into one of the dimensions that you had access to, a feat that had almost completely drained you.   Then, he’d woken up to seeing you fall, and in his heart, he’d known that you couldn’t be saved. Not this time. But he’d still tried. He’d tried so hard that Missy had eventually been forced to be the one to beg him to stop before she lost him too.   He’d never screamed so loud for so long before.   And yet, somehow, that still hadn’t been the worst part.   That had come the next morning, when medical had informed him that you’d been examined that day because of nausea, and that they’d discovered that you were pregnant. The timeframe had matched that day in his office, when your bodies had reacted so differently, and you’d cried out of pure love for him.   It had broken parts of him that he had never even known before.

  He walked silently to your side, and took your burned right hand between his. He tried not to look at your face, and the tube that disappeared down your throat, the slight blue tinge to your eyelids, and the way your skin hugged your collarbones.   When the team had reached the disappeared house, they’d wasted no time in getting the three of you back to HQ, and you’d been rushed here immediately. They’d found residual brain-activity, and the decision had been made to keep you alive artificially, in case your powers had somehow been able to protect you. In case you could have found a way to cling to some thread of life and hold on until your strength could be returned.   There had been no change in your condition since that day, and if it hadn’t been for Missy, he would’ve already asked them to just let you rest in peace.

  “Hey, alma. We’re here. So, today’s story comes from Noodles. He managed to get out-witted by a squirrel, and it is too funny not to share.”

  She told you one story every day. Something that had happened during her day that she knew you would’ve wanted to hear about, and would’ve listened animatedly to, before enthusiastically sharing your thoughts about it.   Marcus didn’t hear the stories. He came and sat with her while she talked, because that’s what she’d asked him to do, but for him, being there wasn’t about hope. It was about survival. He didn’t want to hope, didn’t want to give himself that potentially crushing second wave of loss. But he also needed to see you. He needed you, and no amount of pain could crush that feeling.   Since they didn’t have a home anymore, they were living at HQ during the weeks, because it was closer to Missy’s school than Anita’s house. But they still stayed with her over the weekends.   Marcus made Missy dinner every evening, and sat with her to help her with homework or watch some show before she went to sleep, trying to keep her life as close to normal as these circumstances would permit.   But as soon as she fell asleep, he came right back here, curled up next to you on the bed and cried until there were no more tears, and sleep forced itself over him.

  This night was no exception. He walked in on legs that were impossibly heavy, refusing to look at the machines and the tubes, focusing on your hands and the parts of your skin that were bare and unbroken by needles.   It was so strange that your body was unharmed, that there wasn’t a mark on you to signify the violence and destructive nature of that incident. You were still perfect, even in death.   Wrapping one arm over your chest, careful not to disturb the breathing apparatus, he took his usual place on your left side, burrowed his face into your neck and breathed in the familiar scent of your shampoo.   He was so tired that the tears fell without the laboured breathing, or shockwaves of grief rocking his body, the way it usually did. He just laid there, completely drained of will and hope and desire, waiting for the restless, nightmarish sleep that would inevitably drag him under.   A sudden incessive beeping of one of the machines, tried to gripe at his attention. He closed his eyes and burrowed deeper into your neck, certain that if he turned his head towards it, all it would tell him would be that the time had come. That your body had finally weakened to the point where not even artificially sustained organs was enough to keep you there.   He hadn’t wanted to hope, and he’d thought that he didn’t have any left, but as he laid there and waited for the machines to declare your final departure – he realised that he had. A small part of him had clung to some imagined scenario where you could’ve somehow clawed your way back, and now that part was dying with you.   It felt as though someone had shrunk his lungs. He struggled to draw in more than tiny gulps of air, and his arm involuntarily tightened around you, pulling you into his chest, as though your lifeless body could somehow free him.

  A hand found his arm, and held it lightly, but he didn’t look up to see who it was that was trying to soothe him. He didn’t want to be soothed, he wanted to drift off into the nothingness with you.   But then the doors to the room opened, and he could hear it. So, why hadn’t he heard the person that was holding his arm, when they entered?

  “Oh, my god… Marcus, look.”

  It was one of the twins, and the tone of her voice made something inside of him wake up.   He pulled his head away from your neck, and the first thing he saw was your hand, holding his arm. The touch was light because it was weak, not soothing.   Not daring to believe it, he moved his arm, so he could take your hand, and when you squeezed it, ever so faintly, he fell apart.   He sobbed and hugged you, and tried to tell you how much he loved you and how grateful he was, but the shudders and trembles that kept coursing through him made it all garbled up and unintelligible.   He never heard the twins working around you, never felt them change the equipment, after they’d removed the breathing machine, and made sure that you could breathe on your own, before pulling the tubes out of your throat.   He didn’t notice Anita and Missy walk in, however much time later, but he felt them hug him, and he wanted to thank them, to tell them how much he loved them too, but the relief was so overwhelming that all he could manage was grunts and sobs.

  They let him cry himself into absolute exhaustion. He was so tired that it didn’t take long. He fell asleep still cradling you to his chest, and they didn’t have the heart to lift him out of the bed.

***

  A couple of days later, Marcus was sitting on the side of your bed, just staring at you while you ate.   You had to eat carefully and slowly, since your throat was still sore from the tube, but you were already strong enough to sit up in the bed, and eat by yourself.   You’d been expressly forbidden from trying to speak, until your throat was less swollen and irritated, or you might permanently damage your vocal cords. But it didn’t bother you. You and Marcus knew each other so well that your eyes and expressions were enough to let you know what the other was thinking. And Missy was enjoying getting the opportunity to blab incessantly without you being able to stop her with a well-placed quip.   You knew that big conversations would have to be had, in the near future, and while you could feel how nervous and anxious Marcus was about that, you really weren’t. There were things you needed to tell him, things you needed to try and help him understand, but none of it was bad. Not from your perspective, at least.

  You finished eating, and took a few long and slow sips of water. You could tell that there was something on Marcus’ mind, and when you put the glass down, you shot him a look to say ‘tell me’, and he sighed.

  “It’s not… I don’t wanna talk about it until you can actually talk to me.”

  You just kept giving him the same look, crossing your arms in front of your chest to let him know that you weren’t leaving the subject alone any time soon. Whatever this was, it was causing the wrinkle in between his eyebrows to deepen, a clear sign that it was something that hurt him, and he’d been hurting for so long already, it was time for him to start getting some of it out.   He saw your persistence, and he knew you weren’t gonna let it go. His eyes dropped to his own hands in his lap, and he took a minute to consider how to phrase it.

  “They told me… about the… baby.”

  His eyes were still downcast, so he didn’t see your face soften, or your eyes turn warm. But you wanted him to keep talking, so you made no effort to get his attention yet.

  “And I know that you did what you did to save us, and that you couldn’t have made it a priority right then, and I don’t blame you for doing what you had to. I just can’t help but think… what if that was it?”

  His hands were trembling slightly, but you couldn’t tell if it was with sadness or fear. His voice seemed so small.

  “What if that was our only chance? I’ve never felt the kind of… loss… that I felt when they told me that. The loss of what could have been, of the possibility. And I just…”

  He took a deep breath.

  “I had no idea how much I wanted that baby, until it was already gone.”

  He finally looked up at you, and blinked a couple of times with confusion as he took in your expression. Because you weren’t sad. You were smiling.   You picked up the notepad Amaire had left you for answering medical questions, and scribbled down the few words required to explain yourself, before turning it around to show him.

  --The baby is safe—

  You watched his eyes as he read those words, staring at them for several seconds as though he couldn’t understand them. And then his eyes snapped back to yours and there were a million questions in them, but he had no idea where to start or probably even what most of those questions were yet.   So, he just kissed you instead, and the depth of emotion that he poured into that kiss, had you both in tears.

Authors’ Note: I love criticism, don’t be shy to let me know if there’s anything you like/don’t like/have questions about.

@blueeyesatnight​ @farfromjustordinary @allmyspideys @hrk-fic-recs @strawberryperegrine @lucrezia-thoughts @computeringturtle @sarahjkl82-blog

[floral-and-fine]

Heaven Bent part 1

Daryl Dixon x female reader

A/n: My first time writing anything for The Walking Dead fandom, but this idea was too cute to pass up! Thank you @ewokiee for all the help!

Summary: The reader finds Sophia lost in the woods, too bad neither of them have any sense of direction. 

You stopped in your tracks, taking in your surroundings. You found yourself in a small clearing amongst all the tall trees. This part of the forest looked familiar…maybe.

You furrowed your brows and spun back around, looking to where you just emerged, then turned your head back to look ahead.

“Fuck,” you muttered to yourself, it all looked the same to you. Just leaves, bark, twigs, not a damn thing stuck out.

Sighing, you continued to trudge forward, you didn’t even have a mild clue as to what direction you were traveling in, but it was better than just standing in one place, right? It’s not like there was anybody out there looking for you.

Getting lost wasn’t a big surprise, necessarily, you had always been directionally challenged your whole life. Growing up, you used to live by woods similar to these, as a kid you believed there was something magical about it. Spending hours exploring, not realizing you were lost until it started getting dark out.

But that was back when the world was a safer place. Usually, the sounds of things like car horns and roaring traffic would help guide you to the nearest road, or your mother would come looking for you, shouting out your name so you could follow her voice, but not now. Now the world was eerily quiet, just the occasional bird or rustling of the trees.

“I should get a compass and a map,” you mused to yourself, wishing you had something to help you out of this. “That is If I ever find my way out of here and back to what’s left of civilization.”

It’s not like you were exactly prepared for or even expecting the end of the world to happen. Hell, even before shit hit the fan, you were barely scraping by week to week.

Most people thought of you as a free spirit, constantly moving around, never staying in a place for too long. And while you had your fun and had seen all sorts of wonderful places and had met the most interesting people, a part of you regretted not putting down any roots or living closer to your family.

Under normal circumstances, you loved your lifestyle and wouldn’t have it any other way, but now that you were on your own in the middle of all this mess, you couldn’t help but wonder how it could’ve been had you been with your family or close friends.

Your ears perked up at the sound of water, it was faint, but hopefully, it wasn’t too far away. Automatically, your pace picked up as you moved towards the sound.

You stumbled down a small hill, finding a creek at the bottom. You smiled to yourself, just relieved to see something new. At least it was something more memorable than trees. It could even serve as a little landmark.

You knelt down, dipping your hands into the cool water. It probably wasn’t safe to drink but it felt nice on your skin. You splashed some water on your face, helping you feel a little more awake and refreshed after your hours of walking in this heat.

You were almost tempted to strip and get in just to cool the rest of the way off, but you’d settle for just dipping your feet in.

As you were undoing the laces on your boots, you heard whimpering coming from some place close by. You stilled your movements and focused on the sound. The cries were muffled, whoever it was was trying their best to stay quiet.

“Hello?” You whispered, not wanting to draw any unwelcome attention to yourself, the last thing you needed was to have to run or fight off any zombies.

You waited a moment for a reply, then took a deep breath, and spoke up a bit louder, “Anyone there?”

After a few seconds, a young girl with light brown hair peeked her head out from behind a nearby tree. She was clutching a doll tightly to her chest.

Immediately your body relaxed. The poor girl looked terrified, not that you blamed her, if you were her age, lost in the woods with living corpses on the loose, you would’ve been petrified.

“Did you get lost?” You asked softly.

She nodded, taking a tentative step closer to you.

You smiled warmly at her, hoping she’d come a little closer. “I’m y/n,” you started. “What’s your name?”

“Sophia,” she answered in a small voice.

“Hi Sophia,” you smiled. “You come closer, I don’t bite.” You patted the spot next to you, and watched as she cautiously sat down.

“How’d you get separated from your family, Sweetheart?”

She stared at the water, recalling what had happened the day before. “We were on the road, and a bunch of walkers came out of nowhere.” Her eyes started to water, “we all hid underneath the cars… but one almost got me, so I ran.”

You gently, rubbed her back as she started to cry.

“Mr. Grimes came after me,” she sniffled. “But there were more walkers. He told me to hide, so he could distract them… I was supposed to run back, and I did but I got lost. I-I couldn’t find the road and I was so afraid I’d run into one of those things.” Her shoulders shook as she cried harder.

Wrapping an arm around her, you pulled her in for a hug. “It’s going to be alright,” you murmured. “We’ll find them together.”

You now felt a renewed sense of determination to find your way out of these woods, you wanted nothing more than to get this girl back to her mom.

…

“I like your necklaces,” Sophia spoke up all of sudden causing you to smile. The two of you were walking hand in hand, hoping to find that highway she was talking about.

“Oh yeah?”

She nodded, her eyes fixated on them, specifically the long ones with pretty crystals hanging off of them. “They’re very pretty.”

You slowed down, coming to a stop. Sophia looked up at you, curious as to what you were doing.

“Can you let go of my hand for a second?” You asked, smiling at her. “It’ll be alright.”

Reluctantly, she released her hold, freeing your hand.

You wiggled and stretched your fingers for a bit. Ever since you found her, she had held onto your hand with a death grip. Not that you minded, you figured she was scared of getting separated and being alone again, and in all honesty, you were afraid of the same thing.

Reaching around behind your neck, you pulled one of your necklaces over your head. “Here,” You knelt down and held it in front of Sophia, it was a simple necklace with a single crystal pendant.

“The crystal is an amethyst,” you pointed out. “It's for spiritual protection.”

You placed the necklace in her cupped hands, watching as she ran her fingers over the crystal. “You can keep it,” you chirped happily.

She looked at you wide-eyed, before putting it on. “Thank you,” she whispered.

You nodded, and offered her your hand again, curling your fingers around her palm. “Which way do you think we should keep going?”

…

A couple of days had passed and you started getting worried. You kept it all to yourself though, putting on a brave front for Sophia’s sake.

But things weren’t looking good. You were already running low on food and water. You did your best to ration what was left between the two of you, often giving Sophia a little more than you gave yourself.

You knew the more time that passed the less likely it was that her group would find either of you.

In the daytime, you did everything you could to keep your and her spirits up, like playing little games of I Spy, quietly singing songs, asking her questions about her group.

It sounded like they were a good group of people, for the most part, you wondered if they’d accept you. It had to be better than surviving on your own.

The further the two of you walked, the more lost you felt. It was as though the forest was endless, your own personal hell in a way.

The nights so far had been the worst part. Once you’d find a semi safe-looking spot, you and Sophia would sit against a tree, she’d fall asleep curled by your side, while you stayed awake through the night keeping watch.

That’s when things seemed the most hopeless to you, sitting alone in the dark with just your thoughts to keep you company. You wasted the hours worrying about all the things that could go wrong, how inevitably you’d run out of food, that one or more of those walkers, like Sophia called them, would find you…

Not to mention, you were physically and mentally exhausted, you weren’t sure how much longer you could keep any of this up.

As the sun was beginning to rise, you spotted a walker out in the distance. However, you didn’t want to wake Sophia up yet, she needed her rest if the two of you were going to keep searching for your way out of this forest.

You dug through your bag and took out your knife. Carefully, you stood up, trying your best to be quiet. You observed the walker carefully, it moved slowly with a limp.

You had only killed a couple of them total, usually, you preferred just sneaking around and avoiding them.

Sighing, you gripped the handle of the hunting knife tighter and tiptoed towards your target.

Despite how many of these walkers you had seen, it still made you sick to your stomach, between the smell and their appearance you weren’t sure if you could even imagine anything more disgusting.

You approached it from behind, taking a deep breath before taking a hold of its shoulder and plunging the knife through the back of its skull.

Just like that, it fell to the ground. Stepping down onto its back, you reached down and tugged the knife back out. You tried your best to ignore the unpleasant squelching as you wiggled the knife free.

Quickly, you returned to where Sophia was still soundly asleep. Taking out a rag, you wiped off the bloody knife, before slipping it back into your bag.

…

Daryl huffed as he packed a bag and prepped for venturing out into the woods again.

He couldn’t stand the sight of Carol’s moping, he felt bad for her, he truly did, but comforting people wasn’t his strong suit. Made him feel useless watching someone cry and not being able to do a damn thing about.

He never received much comfort or sympathy growing up, his father and brother weren't compassionate types. So he didn’t have a clue as to how to make anyone else feel better. He had seen how Lori and Dale were with the others, always saying the right words, knowing what people needed to hear to get through the bad.

The only thing Daryl could do was go back out there and find Sophia, which was a hell of a lot better than sitting around this farm twiddling his thumbs while everyone else was having a pity party.

“You’re going back out there?” Carol asked softly, she appreciated all his efforts. It honestly surprised her when he volunteered to search for Sophia. A part of her had expected him not to care.

The more she got to know Daryl, the more obvious were the differences between him and Merle. On the surface, he was tough and brash just like his brother, but somewhere inside of Daryl, he cared about the group, about people.

“Ain’t like anyone else is gonna,” he answered, slinging the backpack strap over his shoulder.

Carol placed her hand on his forearm, squeezing lightly, “Thank you.”

Daryl glanced down for a moment before shrugging her hand off.

“Someone’s gotta do it,” he muttered, tightly clenching his jaw. He headed towards the stables, figuring he’d be able to cover more ground by horse then just on foot.

…

“Sophia!” Daryl shouted on the top of his lungs, he didn’t give a damn if he drew the attention of every damn walker in the whole state. He was determined to find her.

It felt like it was all up to him to find her, cause if he didn’t no one else was gonna step up.

Rick had his hands full with Carl, and Daryl could tell that Shane had already given up on the girl. He understood why, little girl lost in the woods, no food, no water, the likelihood she was still alive was slim to none, but there was something in his gut saying otherwise, and it pushed him to keep searching.

Each time he went out looking for her, he honestly believed that this was going to be the time he found her. That he stumbled across wherever she was hiding, and she’d be there, alive.

He continued at a slow trot, keeping his eyes peeled for any movement, before picking up the pace.

…

Neither you nor Sophia had any energy left to keep going.

You offered to carry her when she started falling behind and stumbling over her own feet. You crouched down, allowing her to wrap her arms loosely around your neck as you looped your arms to hold her legs.

For a few hours, you had mustered up just enough will to keep pushing forward, but then it was like your body just gave up. You collapsed to your knees, and couldn’t find the will to stand back up.

Sophia had passed out, and your eyes were growing heavy, you had no fight left, but you tried you to at least stay conscious. You drag yourself over near a tree, so you and Sophia wouldn’t be completely exposed.

You wrapped your arms around her. No matter how much you wanted to keep going, you just couldn’t. Days without sleep and water had finally caught up to you. You felt so heavy and limp.

Looking up to the sky, the sunlight seeping through the leaves and branches was bright and warm.

Your eyes started to water, this was probably your last day alive. It wouldn’t have been so bad if it had just been you, but you failed Sophia. You thought about Sophia’s poor mother, out there somewhere close by looking for her daughter. You had hoped you were going to be able to reunite the two of them.

You began to openly weep as a wave of emotion crashed down on you. Maybe Sophia would’ve been better off without your help.

You squeezed her shoulder gently and whispered an apology.

Suddenly, you froze, you couldn’t believe your ears but it sounded like there was someone shouting in the distance. But he was too far, and you couldn’t quite make out what he was saying.

Wetting your lips with your tongue you tried to speak. But you could barely get a word out.

“Sophia!” The man yelled, sounding like he was heading towards your direction.

“Here,” you croaked, your voice cracking as you tried to speak louder. Your eyes watered, frustrated that he hadn’t heard you.

“Sophia!” He shouted again. He sounded like he was closer, this was your chance.

“HERE,” you repeated, straining your voice as you tried to shout, praying that he heard you this time. You watched closely in the direction you heard the voice. “Please,” you whispered, “we’re here.”

Time seemed to slow down, and it was absolute torture. You balled your fists tightly, waiting for someone, anyone coming to your rescue. Just as you were about to lose hope, a man with a crossbow emerged.

He was covered in sweat and was panting. His short brown hair was a mess and there were bloodstains on his clothes.

Daryl took a couple of steps forward, he couldn’t believe it. He had actually found Sophia. Although, he wasn’t expecting to find anyone else with her.

“Is she alive?” He asked you.

You nodded in response. “Are you with her group?” You asked, your throat still sore from earlier.

“Yeah,” he answered, trying to figure out how the hell he was going to get you both back to the farm. Sophia was out cold, and you didn’t seem to be any better off.

Daryl scooped Sophia into his arms, then turned back to you. “Got a horse nearby, we just need to get ya to it.”

You nodded, just grateful that he wasn’t going to abandon you out here. You weren’t anyone to him, or to their group… the easiest thing would’ve been to leave you, and you would’ve understood.

As you stood up it felt like your legs were going to give out at any moment. Daryl allowed you to lean against him, as you made your way towards the horse.

Somehow, you managed to find the strength to mount the horse. Daryl instructed you just to hold on, as he grabbed the reins to lead you and the horse back. With Sophia in his arms, he started walking back towards the farm.

You rested against the horse, clutching its mane with your fingers. Your eyes felt heavy like you were going to pass out any minute, the world around you was blurry. Watching the trees pass, you thought you could see figures standing between them, tall dark shadowy figures.

Shaking your head, you tried to focus on your and Sophia’s savior walking ahead of you instead.

You smiled noticing the white wings on his back. You couldn’t figure out if it was another hallucination or if they were real. But maybe he really was an angel.

You sighed, feeling safe in his company. Everything was going to be alright. You rested your eyes, the movements of the horse gently lulling you to sleep.

Daryl stopped in his tracks when he heard a loud thud behind him like someone had dropped a sack of dirty laundry on the ground.

Looking back, he saw the horse saddle empty and you laying in the dirt like a rag doll.

“God damn it,” he muttered.

He gently sat Sophia down, before wandering over to you. He crouched down to your level, making sure you were still alive. God, you were going to end up being more trouble than the girl.

“Hey,” Daryl said sharply, patting your cheek, causing you to stir.

Your eyes slowly opened, blinking a couple of times before they were able to focus on his face. You smiled at him, a warm sweet smile. With the light of the sun shining down on him so brightly, it looked almost as if he had a halo.

“You really are an angel,” you mused in your partially delirious state. “You’ve got wings, a halo, and everything.”

Daryl scowled, “The hell you goin’ on about?”

You giggled, it was pretty funny to hear an angel curse.

Daryl sighed and muttered something under his breath about how you probably went crazy out there. Before helping you sit up.

You looked over to the side and noticed the horse standing there. Tilting your head to the side, you asked “Did I fall off?”

[shesclearlya3]

i loved you first p.4

pairing: Xavier Plympton x Reader

word count: 2,332

warnings: violence, language, fluff, oops

part 1 | part 2 |  part 3 | part 4 | epilogue

4.

Your life seemed to flash before your eyes.

Chloe Smith was in tears; her red hair matted while her makeup from the night before smeared under her eyes. You had never seen her look like this. She was always fabulous. You'd admit it now, even knowing she was crazy.

"Chloe..." Xavier said softly, his hands slowly rising as she continued to cry with her eyes on you. Your eyes fell to the gun hanging by her side, her finger fiddling with the gun. She was going to cock it eventually. 

"Sit down!" she shot at you, and you didn't hesitate to take the spot next to Xavier. You realized you should have stayed away from him, but Chloe didn't comment, only raising the gun at the both of you.

"You don't have to do this," Xavier said, his voice hesitant. You knew he was trying not to cry, and you were right there with him. "This isn't worth it."

"You're worth it!" she yelled, pointing her gun directly at him now. "You're worth it, Xavier." she cried, her voice wobbly. You had never heard anything like this in your life. This all had to be a really fucked up dream.

You knew it was probably best to keep your mouth shut. Chloe hated you; you didn't want to push her any farther and risk putting Xavier in any more danger than he already was. 

Your thoughts were overshadowed when Chloe turned her attention back to you, her voice venomous when she asked, "What do you have that I don't?"

I'm not psychotic, clearly.

 You instinctively snickered at that, which was a huge mistake. You watched as Chloe's eyes went dark before moving the gun just inches from your face and fired. 

You and Xavier both yelled; he grabbed you and pulled you down as the bullet whizzed right by, almost hitting your ear. Your heart was now in overdrive as Xavier took this opportunity to rush forward and tackle her to the ground. You screamed as they wrestled, desperately looking for a phone to dial 9-1-1. 

You hoped that a neighbor would call the police. You weren't particularly close with them, but you were friendly enough to keep an eye on one another. You started to cry when you realized your phone was dead, and you didn't know where Xavier's was. 

There was no way you could sit back and watch this unfold. Chloe was screaming, cursing your name as Xavier wrestled the gun away from her. You looked around for something heavy, figuring this could be your Paul Sheldon moment.

You spotted an ugly vase that Xavier's mother had gifted you when you moved in together. It always sat underneath the accent table, collecting dust. You snatched it, looking to see that Xavier was somewhat able to pin down Chloe. But the struggle for the gun was still ensuing. Your ears rang as another shot went off, striking the lamp your grandmother bought you.

The last thing you wanted was to hurt him accidentally. You lunged for the pair, catching Xavier's eye last minute as he fell off her, falling to the ground. You smashed the vase against Chloe's head. A cry escaped your lips when a jagged piece broke the skin of your palm. Chloe shrieked, before falling unconscious. 

You gasped, falling to your knees as Xavier wheezed on the ground. You glanced down at the now bloody head of Chloe, who was still breathing. 

"That fucking bitch!" Xavier snapped, sitting up. You watched as he grabbed the gun, switching on the safety. "We need to call the police."

"I-I couldn't find your phone," you said shakily, stumbling to your feet, your eyes still on her unconscious body. 

Xavier had to dig underneath the cushions, but he found it. There was just enough battery to report the incident, and he stayed on the line as you both moved far away from her, almost sitting on top of each other in the corner. 

Your chest felt like it was on fire. The tears wouldn't stop as you hung onto Xavier, who gently shushed you while he spoke to the operator. You wanted Montana, you wanted Brooke. 

You were so shaken up that the panicked knocking on the door caused you to shriek. The operator on the phone was worried, as Xavier got up to investigate, before letting out a "fuck!"

"XAVIER! Y/N! IT'S ME, IT'S CHET AND MONTANA! OPEN UP!"

Xavier wrenched open the door, explaining to the operator that you were still waiting on the police.

"We already called the police, they're not here yet!?" Montana yelled, rushing past the boys to where you were cowering in the corner. "Chet was outside when he saw Chloe arrive and called them."

She brought you into a hug as you hid your face in her neck, wishing for all of this to stop. You heard Xavier ask why Chet was outside, in which he replied, "Because I'm not dumb, I knew the bitch would be back."

You always adored that Chet was so protective of your friends. You had to smile, feeling your heart lift slightly as Montana held you tightly, shielding your face from Chloe.

It seemed like an eternity when the police and ambulance finally arrived. Ray ended up showing up sometime later while you were outside, claiming that Brooke was stuck at work and wished she could be here. 

You watched with your friends as Chloe was wheeled out on a stretcher; her hands cuffed as they loaded her into the ambulance. Your debacle caused some attention, as concerned neighbors and strangers gathered around. You slowly started to feel better, but the fear of almost being killed kept creeping on you. The paramedics cleaned up your wound and bandaged it.

Because your apartment was now an active crime scene, you and Xavier were forced to room with Montana and Brooke at their residence. You had gathered your things before riding over with Xavier in the back seat; his grip on you was still tight. 

You were pleased when Ray and Chet came over later that night with packed bags. They insisted on the group being together for support. You had hugged your friends more in the past few hours than you have all year. You knew they were as equally scared as you were, while simultaneously trying to ease your stress. 

That night after everyone settled into bed, you were restless. It was well past three in the morning, your boss already notified about what transpired and you needed some time off. Xavier was in the bathroom, almost begging his boss to give him some time, too. 

You waited until he finally came out, visibly lighter as he crawled down next to you, peeking to see if you were awake. The unexpected action caused you to snort, and he smiled at your laugh. 

"I'm sorry if I scared you," he whispered, settling down beside you. "My boss finally cut me some slack for once in his life."

"I think you should just quit, they don't deserve you," you whispered.

"Trust me, I've been telling myself that the day I started," he joked, and you felt hopeful that things could be normal again. "y/n, I just wanted to let you know that you saved our lives today."

You frowned, shaking your head, "You had her pinned to the ground. If anything, you're the hero."

Xavier shook his head, scoffing, "Don't be ridiculous, you knocked the crack-whore out."

You cackled at that, hiding your face in the blankets as Xavier's blue eyes widened, playfully shushing you as Ray snorted in his sleep a few feet away. "Keep it down!"

"Then don't make me laugh!" you seethed, yet your tone was playful. "You should know by now that you make me laugh without trying."

Xavier beamed at that, settling down to lay beside you. He was delighted to hear that, now smiling like an idiot at your compliment. You moved closer, putting your head on his chest as he wrapped an arm around you.

"I don't mean to make light of the situation," Xavier said softly, starting to run his hands through your hair. You closed your eyes in peace. "But I'm glad we were with each other today. I could never live with myself if something happened to you because of me."

"I need you to stop blaming yourself," you scolded. Xavier's face flushed, and he was staring at the ceiling with a hurt expression you couldn't see. "I told this to the others, and I'll say it to you. You didn't know. Montana..." you smiled, "She has a suspicious nature, and she's right ninety percent of the time. Montana had an equal hand in this."

"I should have known, though," Xavier said, frowning. "I was her boyfriend. I was going to move in with her!"

You smirked, "They say you don't really know a person until you live with them. Or something like that."

Xavier finally smiled at you, "Something like that?"

"Yes. That's what my mom said when I told her we were living together."

"Huh," Xavier said, his hands still running through your hair. "Your mom is a wise woman."

"Of course she is, why do you think I'm the way I am, hmm?" you joked.

"I guess that would explain a lot," he said softly. You laid there, your head still on his chest as you listened to the sound of his beating heart. 

In mere seconds he could have been taken away from you. 

You didn't realize your nails dug into his chest until he winced, "Ouch, y/n?"

You gasped, "Oh, I'm so sorry, Xavier." you said, rubbing the spot on his chest where you hurt him. 

"It's alright," he said, before placing his hand over yours. "I'll be here when you wake-up."

You tried to fall asleep then, but images of Chloe holding a gun in your face was a plague. Xavier was still awake, staring at the ceiling as he stroked your hair. He could feel your wildly beating heart, and he wished there was something he could do. 

Xavier was always the strong one of the group. You could always lean on him whenever you needed, even if he was struggling with something himself. But he wanted to save everybody, even though he knew it was impossible. His own past haunted him, and this was just the newest addition. 

The clock slowly ticked towards five in the morning, and you were still unable to find peace. You eventually sat up, Xavier's arm falling to the side as you sighed, rubbing your eyes.

"y/n?" he asked, sitting up beside you. You gave him a weak smile, which he frowned. "Do you need me to call someone?"

You shook your head, "I just think sleep is off the table for us tonight." 

He laughed quietly, looking around the dark room to see Montana hanging partially off the couch. Brooke was right on the floor beneath her, her legs over Ray's stomach, snoring.

"I feel safe with everyone here," you admitted, glancing at Chet, who was curled up with a pillow. "I always felt safe with you guys."

"Me too," he admitted, taking your hand. "I know I've made a lot of bad decisions in my life. I always felt like I wasn't supposed to be here, you know?" Your heart hurt hearing that. "I got myself in so much bad shit, and I guess I still do that. But I'd always find my way back... I had my friends. I have you."

You wiped at your eyes, knowing Xavier hated to see you cry. "You've always had me." you laughed weakly.

"I wish I would have stopped being so stupid-."

"Are you kidding?" you laughed now, a little too loudly, you may add. "You just told me last night you were always flirting with me! You're the clueless one? Please."

Xavier gave you a smirk, and you reached up to pat down his messy hair. His blue eyes were bright in the night, and you knew you'd always be able to get lost in them. 

"Do you think it would be inappropriate if I kissed you?" Xavier asked, tilting his head at you playfully. You blushed deeply, thinking of all the times you dreamed of this happening. 

"I don't want you to feel like you have to rush into anything with me..." you admitted, smiling shyly at him. 

Xavier nodded understandingly, "I normally would say that too. But today was an example that we're not promised anything, y/n. I don't want to waste any more time with you than I've already had."

You couldn't believe this was happening. After a silent agreement, Xavier leaned in, pressing a deep kiss to your lips. It was better than you ever imagined, your hands gently twisting in his hair as his arm slid around your waist, pulling you in tight. Xavier kissed you until you couldn't breathe, pulling away with a satisfied smirk. 

"That was amazing." he grinned, keeping his arm around you as you smiled back. 

"I know, thank you." you joked before you were startled out of your wits when you heard Montana mumble into her pillow, "Oh, thank God they finally kissed."

Your mouth fell open when Brooke tiredly said, "About time!"

"You guys heard them kiss? Gross!" Ray slurred.

"Were you guys listening this entire time!?" Xavier yelled, your shock finally wearing off as you laughed loudly, hiding your head under your blanket.

"Only the last few minutes," Montana said, turning over. "Thank fuck, you guys were driving us all crazy, not dating each other."

"You guys are the worst!" you cried out as Xavier laid beside you, a broad grin on his face. 

"But you love us, y/n," Brooke giggled softly, "Goodnight."

You and Xavier finally fell asleep minutes after your friends fell back asleep. Chet stirred, peeking at you guys from his thick pillow. He smiled before laying back down to sleep.

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