#I feel really defeated.
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Did you know it’s legal in the USA for mattress companies to put fiberglass in their mattresses? They don’t even have to label them! So if you wanna commission me so I can buy a new bed I won’t stop you
#deadass might never get top surgery at this rate#I feel so defeated#I just got done decorating my room and now I gotta gut it :(#I know my comics are goofy but like I’m genuinely really sad#like I just wanna give up WHY TF WOULD THEY PUT FIBERGLASS IN MATTRESES
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Blah blah blah
#Feelin really sour about my transition and I wish I could feel better about it#I came out 3 years ago and socially transitioned but the waiting list in the UK is 5+ years and my doctor was unable to prescribe T#Then I immigrated to Canada and so I had to take myself off the waiting list and I had to wait for my work permit#And THEN wait for my health insurance card to then try to find a family doctor that has availability#And now next month I have a meet and greet and maybe I can start the process all over again.... I guess if my doctor isn't transphobic#I guess he could make it harder to get a referral or whatever#I just desperately want to start T and get on the waiting list for top surgery#I feel really defeated.
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I don’t know how to say this exactly but like… fandom and show are kinda weird about Mel and Ekko and it is very much rooted in racism
#like do guys do know that ‘yay this character is perfect in every single way and the only ones with braincells<3’ is not#the progressive statement you think it is#a step up from the insane misogynoir during s1 era but still not great#it’s how nobody really focuses on mel or ekko’s characters on their own and water them down to being ‘perfect#never did anything wrong ever’. which they are but like… how to say this…#i feel arcane didn’t allow them to be fully fleshed characters#i saw this in st with lucas where he’s watered down to lumax#and gets some mvp scenes but that’s not a compensation for actually giving them proper attention and fully fleshing them out#i might be the minority but mel is a step up from ekko since she had more of an arc but again they barely fleshed it out before making her#op enough to defeat leblanc (was it leblanc?) in her own domain#like that is literally insulting to mel it’s a cop out and just reducing her to a cool moment#in compensation for not giving enough attention to her black rose arc#it wasn’t cathartic because there was no build up to those moments#arcane critical#arcane criticism#ekko#mel medarda#ekko arcane
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wolfwood redraws (ID in alt text)
#nicholas d wolfwood#trigun#trigun maximum#tw blood#going to be talking vol 9 spoilers in here pls do not read if u have not read it!!#wolfwood my beloved. he's such a battle genius with such strong survival instincts and incentive to fight. it makes me so sad but also#it's just the way he's been able to live for as long as he has [explodes]#midvalley calling him a demon/devil (iforget which word) and livio being like “victory seems impossible” when faced against him aughhh AUGH#he's clearly not invincible - vol 8 proved that when he almost did get beat if not for vash swooping back in... but the way he carries#the battles really makes it feel like it. especially whenever he “revives” for the sake of protecting another person. i.e. him getting#back up to defeat livio - him battered and worn from the fight but then pushing his body to get up when chapel aimed at the orphanage#and then despite the blood gushing out of him he still regained cautiousness to defend razlo at the end.... ugh.... ugh.....#anyway... i love how nightow draws ww - these were fun to do. ive been meaning to do these redraws esp from vol 9/10#and maybe ill go back to do redraws from his previous fights. all and all i just need to get down how he uses the punisher properly#ruporas art
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you win. try again?
#homestuck#home2t4ck#hom3stuck#dave strider#bro strider#beta bro#abuse#blood#admin draws#fanart#uhh i dont usually say this but please dont tag as ship lmao#i usually live and let live but this is a domestic abuse situation. i wouldnt really be cool with that.#that out of the way. so many thoughts about these 2#its like. bro is a bad guardian right. hes just more than shit at it.#but it never felt to me like it was malicious. hes doing irreparable damage but its something he thinks is necessary#or is unaware of the extent of it. either way.#i feel like in this situation he'd be proud of his little bro. lil guy did something impressive after all.#who cares that he himself got hurt for it. like even tho he might realize this is upsetting for dave. he might hope that its vindicating#but its not. dave is just horrified. because its just violence#defeating the villain and being the hero doesnt feel good. it never has#OUGHGHG anyways i drew more. today it felt like pulling teeth but i have too many ideas and theyre getting otu on the canvas one way#or another
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MDZS Equineswap AU part 1: Bro we are horses. It’s okay to cry around me, we are best friends. Bro we are kissing.
[girl side of the swap]
#poorly drawn mdzs#mdzs#wei wuxian#lan wangji#equineswap au#that first teen wwx is so clearly a warm up i almost want to ‘accidently’ let the pasture gates open and let him roam#I really love how YLLZ pony came out though! All of them were made with love and thats what counts#I feel very strongly about teen wangji in dressage braids#its a neat and proper look! Almost overly formal and constricted! He lets it go free as Big Horse Wangji as *Symbolism*#and yes they have cutie marks in this AU. WWX’s used to be a lotus flower#designated chilling in the lake pony#lwj brands himself later on. in memorium for when wwx got his cutie mark branded as well#HGJ pony really *should be an alicorn but I was defeated by the wings#part two (the otherside of the swap) tomorrow!#This is my 3 month anniversary and follower milestone thank you#’OP why’ its my blog and I get to make the equine AU
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What Deku doesn't understand is that the “League of Villains” encapsulates exactly who Tenko - the Crying Child Deku was so adamant about saving - is. He thinks reaching out a hand, smashing that hatred, and saving Tenko means getting Tenko to abandon the League. He is completely wrong - and he would've realized this if he just talked to Shigaraki in all the time he fought against Shigaraki. And listened to what Tenko said in Chapter 418.
The League of Villains is the group Shigaraki Tomura created in order to wreck shit and kill All Might and bring down Hero Society. Shigaraki picked the name and picked the purpose and picked its members and he leads them towards the apocalypse—
—and this is also the group of outcasts that are his comrades and friends; that he gathered and created a place for, where they can be themselves in a society that ruthlessly denied them that. He accepted Twice without care for his insanity and inability to use his quirk, never pushed Twice to do more than he was able to. He accepted Spinner despite being a Stain fanboy and having a weak, nearly useless quirk, and promised him the destruction of the world that hurt him; for all of League. When Toga was pushed by the other members to choose a Villain name despite wanting to live as herself, as Toga Himiko, Shigaraki spoke up in indirect defense of her choice, providing himself as an example of someone who didn't use a Villain name, and who can override the boss' words? Dabi was allowed to come and go as he pleased, and although he was the most aloof member, by the end, he was declaring the world burn for "our" sake - plural; the League's. Mr. Compress believed in Shigaraki enough to entrust an ancestor's dream and family legacy to him; when surrounded by Heroes at Jaku, he was willing to die to save Shigaraki, to let him escape.
The League is a collection of people that Shigaraki cares for - that he saved. That was always the surest sign that ‘Tenko’, sweet and kind and hero-aspiring boy, was alive inside.
Without the League, without having seen the time Shigaraki spent with the League, a reader can just write off Shigaraki and say there’s nothing left in there worth saving. The League is literally the evidence for Tenko have still existed and that Shigaraki was "worth" saving, long before we ever saw ‘Inner Tenko’.
But Deku doesn't understand that.
To go further: outside of the League, Shigaraki still had his distorted but undeniable kindness and fairness. I've spoke about it before, and sorry for repeating myself, but even towards his Villain enemies, he gives them consideration: Shigaraki left Overhaul crippled, but 100 chapters later, he's still continuing Overhaul's work - the quirk erasing bullets - and even laments that Overhaul would be disappointed when Shigaraki sees some of the bullets destroyed. All For One at Jaku tries to take over his body, at the time seemingly only a phantom voice in his head, but Shigaraki still acknowledges that he's grateful AFO took him in. It's only when AFO oversteps that again and again, taking possession of his body, that Shigaraki would tear the AFO vestige from inside out and mock him when the opportunity arises.
And there's ReDestro, and the importance of the ending of MVA. RD and his army picks a fight with Shigaraki - something that Shigaraki explicitly points out; the blame for what happened to Deika is on largely them. RD challenged Shigaraki and the League; blackmailed them, kidnapped their broker, and attacked their pitiful 6-member team with a town-sized militia; insulted Shigaraki, destroyed The Hands, tried to kill him. Shigaraki had every reason to just dust RD while the man was sitting there bleeding out with his legs cut off. Just finish him off without even giving the guy last words. It was more than fair.
But Shigaraki didn't. He went and talked to RD. To mock him for picking this fight, but it was still a talk. And when RD acknowledge his defeat and kowtowed, Shigaraki let him live. Took over his army and resources, but RD was still alive and even made lieutenant.
Without this - if Shigaraki had just dusted RD after defeating him - we would have only seen Shigaraki as a conquerer and not someone who can be reasoned with. He would just be AFO with different minions. And Shigaraki wasn't.
He can be brutal, and he seems like he's destroying for evil fun; but Shigaraki has his compassion and justice. A Villainous Hero for the Villains. It's why he destroys; it's why he doesn't regret his actions, why he wishes good luck to Deku to continue it, even after Deku smashed his core of anger and hatred. Shigaraki saved his League, and he refuses to disavow doing so. Because he shouldn't.
And Deku just doesn't understand that.
#nalslastworkingbraincell#despite. the everything-ness of the last two chapters#and despite Deku being entrusted with 'that depends on you guys'#and despite Shigaraki fucking dying because the Heroes failed#I think I actually like what Shigaraki said to Deku#I feel like it fits. it makes sense for Shigaraki#the problem is that it's Deku#but yeah#the potential sarcasm of 'really. do your best'#is very Shigaraki as well#'if you want to defeat noumu you gotta get your hands dirty and tear him apart piece by piece'#cruel - egging All Might to cruelty - but a tip#'you're the great senpai of us criminal filth' to Stain#mocking but true#'you're a wakagashira so where are your manners'#also mocking but true#deku said 'you already destroyed it'#and shigaraki responds 'depends. holding you responsible for that being true. good luck.'#sincere but also sarcastic and also dragging Deku down to his level and intention of change and destruction#maybe i'm deluding myself#blinded by hope
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miscellaneous roman nonsense lmao I very briefly thought about un curling octavian's hair, but cleopatra 1963's influence remains as strong as ever
#wahoo. wild storms took out power for a while but i remain undefeated (i was defeated. on account of i do not control electricity)#this was just. well. it's whatever i was drawing back when i thought the power would be out for One Day and not Several#otherwise i wouldve drawn comics instead with the limited charge my power bank has heghghhhh. moving on!#writing anything serious with crassus and friends feels like im shredding the side of my face down with a cheese grater#there's just. heugh. lots going on in there.#so naturally there's been an uptick in unserious bullshit on the side to balance it out#i need to carve out some time next year to really do geta and caracalla so i can combine the cheese grater feeling#with the batshit whimsy of unrestrained melodrama#roman republic tag#drawing tag#unrelated to any of that. tagalog is a specific choice for the romans but it's also a trap. for me. i keep wanting to change magandang#to maayo and my god you would not believe how close i can to falling for it
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Warrior Nun: Beatrice’s journey reconciling the mission with her love for Ava was beautiful to behold
#Warrior Nun#Avatrice#Ava Silva#Sister Beatrice#When Bea lashes out at Ava#it's 90% because she is angry at herself for letting her feelings for Ava cloud her judgment#and yet she can't deny to herself after Ava's fall just how profoundly she cares for Ava#but they still had a mission to complete#they still needed to defeat Adriel#In the end though#post-kiss#we see Bea fully accept that she will prioritize saving Ava's life#above everything else that used to rank more highly#like the safekeeping of the halo#like the safety of the whole world really#So saying I love you back isn't just the completion of a romantic gesture#but an endpoint to this struggle that we've seen the whole season#God it is so profound and beautiful I can barely stand it
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How is my best friend Arthur has he helped you baldur any gates
He’s been good! My washing machine broke last week and I hauled it out the other day in preparation for the new one and he’s been loving his new Top Secret Hiding Spot.
We are taking a little bit of a Baldur’s Gate break right now just because I was getting burnt out. We’re slowly making our way through Mass Effect Andromeda for the second time. I’m very excited to get back to BG3 tho.
I left off right at the start of Act 2. I’m playing a Githyanki monk named Ez’rai and spent way too much time coming up with a backstory for them. I’m going to be romancing Wyll this time. I think Ez’rai growing up in such a harsh culture that didn’t have room for soft romance will go together in such a fun and cute way with Wyll. A noble’s son who is just so sweet and romantic and good.
#been too busy to play much vidya games the past week or two#I spent SO much time on DND wiki#and I feel like it’s plausible with the already set lore. which obviously doesn’t really matter bc it’s just for fun#but it’s important to me that it feels plausible lol#their crèche went rogue. anti Vlaakith teachings as well as teaching that the githzerai and githyanki should reunite#to have a better chance of defeating the mindflayers#for obvious reasons Vlaakith was NOT a fan of this#Vlaakith sent people to destroy the crèche and Ez’rai was one of the only ones who survived#all the survivors eventually either died or ended up split up somehow#makes for an extra interesting dynamic with Lae’zel and also Orpheus (even tho I have to imagine it all in my head lol)#anyways BG3 was my first introduction to DND lore so if you’re a seasoned pro and this seems so far fetched to you I’m sorry#I’m just having fun with my blorbos#my post#Arthur#ask
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As an attempt at a polite "going forward" comment...
I do not plan to draw for Three Houses or Hopes for a long while. I know a lot of my followers are from the past four years and I appreciate that you followed me at all! But if you are only interested in the art of those characters I wanted to be clear and say you can unfollow me at any point if what i draw no longer aligns with what you want to see.
I might draw for other FEs (like Heroes or 13/14/17) but I do not want to get involved with 3H any more. I do have other interests and across tumblr, twitter (now inactive), and sometimes on discord I've heard enough "I thought it was (FE3H character)".
This is not one person doing it and it is not simply one character being mistaken. I simply want to distance myself from 3H and have unfollowed a few people that reblog art of it because it just leaves a lingering bad taste in my mouth.
Thank you very much for your time and I hope you can find artists who can provide art for topics you like.
#moe talks a lot#not art#again this is NOT the fault of one person its been accumulating for a loooong time#its not even other franchises entirely being labeled as 3h oopsies!#i think one of the most frustrating was a twitter exp where i drew felicia and flora from fates and someone said thought it was marihilda#its just very demotivating and makes me feel like im nothing but a machine for the 3h fans and i want to move past that#i would far prefer no comments or tags than the constant barrage of mistaking a character when i draw for anything else#i know (or rather hope) people who do this are not doing it to be mean! but ! it hurts to put time into something to have it devalued#im sorry to those that really liked my 3h art but i am extremely burnt out on some comments and being asked to justify my doodles#i just want to draw stupid things and it got to the point i had to explain my stupid things#which defeated the stress relief of it being stupid#half of the asks i never replied to were like this so again it is NOT just one person doing this ! its just finally added up#to me needing to be open and clear#i tried to be concise in the main post but it still looks really wordy#opened the ask box again temporarily but not open to anons so we will see how this goes
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rbs > likes
is this overkill for a stupid silly iterator story? Yeah absolutely. But i meant to make a more simple map and got too into it... this isn't supposed to be 100% realistic but more give a general feel for the regions and Vibes
#rain world#rain world fanart#rainworld#rain world oc#i guess#?#story tag: bending horizons#i debated putting paths for the campaigns on here but i feel like that kind of defeats the purpose of it being a 'campaign'#the scugs take whatever path yaknow#esp ones that go really long distances like mercy
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#marisa kirisame#touhou#furry#my art#i will make a proper design for her later i just really wanted to draw her#i was feeling a bit sad.. but now im not#this is based on her defeated sprite from the early fighting games she looks so sad and pathetic in it aww
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the zine’s officially out, so I can post my contribution for the @extraordinaryzine :D!
my piece is an interpretation of the caverns on Iron Island 🏝️ so I wanted to incorporate more of the water surrounding it by creating a sea cave to have light spill inside (akin to the modra špilja/blue grotto)
the focus of the zine was on the daily lives of trainers and their pokemon, so Riley uses a spot inside the caverns like this to meditate with his team, although any new Riolu he trains can’t resist wanting to jump into the water to play υ´˶ ・ﻌ・ ˶`υノ”
this piece alongside a ton of amazing artists can be found free to download digitally here! (and lastly some closeups bc I liked getting all the little deets down)
#kagarts#trainer riley#stat trainer riley#pokemon dppt#pokemon zine#this one definitely proved to be a bit of a challenge since. backgrounds are a whole other thing#but this got me interested in worldbuilding on a location#got me incorporating various elements from both the games and anime bc they both have their own specific strengths and limitations#that make it fun to interpret and feel more lived in#I can ramble a bit about it but for one the island in the games is just limited to being >place to defeat team galactic at#there’s only really leftover caves after mining expeditions so it’s mostly just abandoned mines type of deal#and riley’s singular house you can visit of course#but the anime includes a port town and scientists studying different parts of the island#so it fills in the gap left behind from game limitations#if there’s a town on an island specifically full of stronger pokemon that adds onto what riley’s job is on said island#to make sure either side of the town and caverns on the island are kept in check/at peace#adds to that job of being iron island’s guardian (and I haven’t even gotten started on aura yet LMAO)#I have a lot of notes but I’m saving any extras for later#go get this digital zine!!! it’s free!!!!!!
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the winged lion extra is fucked up dude .. the demon finally knowing what it is to be human through laios... perhaps the only reason laios was able to eat the demon's desire in the first place was because the lion had a taste of Being Human, and simply wanted to live
#dungeon meshi spoilers#i may be misremembering but#what the Hell... like it recontextualizes the defeat..#the only reason it was defeated in the first place was bc it became human#in the same vein tho Wow laios really thought this through#laios: okay let me just make this abstract entity into something human to make it concrete = defeatable then slay it .. linear but boring#winged lion; unknowing: you wanna be a beast too as a +1?#laios: .. Yes#i feel like everybody knows this but me because in hindsight this was glaringly obvious . am slow#delicious in dungeon#winged lion
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God what even do I do with this chapter 😭 but here are some of my thoughts.
SPOILERS FOR CH. 268
- what the fuck
-“Maybe it’s time to try living for someone else” okay the itafushi shippers really won with that one, I can’t lie. But at the same time it feels like Megumi’s always been living his life for someone else specifically Tsumiki. so it kind of feels like the stronger message would have been to decide to live for himself? Kind of how yuuji’s journey went from finding this greater purpose to live and fight to simply just living is okay as well. But that’s just me. Im interested in hearing other people’s take on the situation
- this is from last chapter but I so really like the parallel of yuuji in this fight for his life with Sukuna and Mahito and being so weighed down by everything that he has lost and everything he is still trying to save and then Kugasaki hits that resonance and Yuuji sees that he’s not alone and god something about it always being Nobara and her insanity breaking him from that sorrow and giving him that last push to fight like he's not alone.
- also I do think seeing Nobara’s resonance after having to be the one to break it to itadori that she wasn’t recovering, really solidified that there where things still worth living for.
- I don’t know something about Sukuna finally after all these chapters acknowledging itadori by finally saying his name is so very Sukuna off him. It’s like the inverse of him going into Jogo’s flashing life and telling him he’s strong. This time he’s the one dying and he’s finally acknowledging the boy that killed him. Say what you want about Sukuna but he ain’t no sore fucking loser.
- God how fucking Yuuji Itadori of the whole thing to after everything all the terror and the torture and the pain to still offer Sukuna a chance to live and live better. A chance to not be a slave to his nature to this curse in their blood. God Yuuji what do I even do with you.
- okay so not even a fucking frame of the Hakari/Uraume showdown. Really 😭😭. It looked like things were happening too. With that final parting it looked like they’d reached some kind of understanding and not even a fucking frame. Gege the way your mind works.
- really not even one punch? Not even one gambling shot. I’d have payed good fucking money to see Hakari explaining how a pachinko machine works to a 1000 year old curse servant.
- the little “you’re just lucky is the best compliment for a guy like me” and the “yeah I guess it is” was a great exchange tho. Which is is why I wonder. Really not one fucking frame😭. I wonder if mappa will just ignore this and give them a fight scene anyway like they elongated the Sukuna vs Mahagora fight.
- and now finally, some good fucking food.
- Gojo’s little I killed your daddy note is so funny. What the fuck is wrong with him
- again. What the fuck.
- Nobara being as rude as fucking always god I love her. She is taking no prisoners. Fuck you mean you aren’t weeping at her feet at her return.
-Them trying to do the whole box suprise for Megumi and him catching them in the act is so stupid I actually can’t 😭. They really only have one braincell
- Nobara not giving a single fuck about her mom like what. Also what did she mean by “Special grade authority”
- crazy that they all got face scars now. They’re a matching set.
- I wonder what Yuuji’s talk with gojo was. I wonder what parental figure gojo exposed for him.
- I dunno this chapter making me feel like he might come back. Gojo Satoru just might make a come back.
- I’m glad that atleast after everything it’s gunna end with the three of them. Maybe a little damaged and worse for wear but together and that counts for something.
-lastly…..what the fuck m.
#I’m glad he gave them this#yuuji itadori#god in the middle of writing this the bus is been waiting for for half an hour slipped over my stop and#I’ve never actually been so angry in my life I literally had to draft this and cool down.#but yeah here we are#crazy only 2/3 more chapters left#after everything sukuna’s defeat just feels a bit anticlamatic which honestly works for the themes of the series#honestly this whole saga will probably translate better in animation but yeah#it’s not perfect but what is it was good enough for me. I had a good time and that fine in my book#but yeah I’m also just left wondering what’s the curse situation like now#like the death of sukuna wouldn’t have stopped it infact everything leading up to it will probably have made it worse#it hurts my head a little the idea that they can’t even really rest after all this there’s still so much left to do still curses to kill#and honestly real#but yeah good chapter#throwing thoughts to the void#jjk meta#jjk spoilers#jjk ch 268#itafushi#itafushikugi#favorite trouple for real#kugisaki nobara#fushiguro megumi#itadori yuuji#sukuna jjk#hakari kinji#jjk gojo#gojo saturo#jujutsu kaisen#jjk manga leaks
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