#I feel like this has been such a journey
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MY GRADUATION IS THIS FRIDAY!!!!!!!!!
#I feel like this has been such a journey#like I got on this website when I was a sophomore in high school#and now Iām about to start my masters in the fall??š«£šµ#but I am SO SO EXCITED!!! I got this beautiful red dress to wear that matches my school colours#I took THE ENTIRE DAY OFF FROM WORK BECAUSE I DESERVE IT!#itās gonna be like a cute long weekend and Iām gonna force my brother to take me out šš¾#Iām like excited to walk the stage and just have my little moment omg Iām so excited#also I have these cute pictures I wanna post on IG BUT I LITERALLY CANNOT COME UP WITH A CAPTIONššššššššššš#I want it to be cute but also funny#idk idk i might just end up saying Alhamdulilah and keep it simple#my post
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dragon meat, you, and me
#marcille donato#falin touden#farcille#dungeon meshi#delicious in dungeon#tw blood#tw body horror#tw gore#as a normal farcille fan this revival has been on my mind since i first read it and getting to watch it is like yippee!!#like messy revivals are everything - the consequences that will haunt u for the rest of the time they are alive#the initial hopeful moments where it all seemed well but quickly descend to That not being the case - losing not only the bit of evidence#evidence that your dream may work out but also someone you deeply care about in the processā¦ marcille my Beloved#ofc wholly thruout the journey - at the forefront of it - getting falin back was the most crucial point but so wuickly :(( it was lost#on the other end its crazy to think about the compoments of falin now - human - dragon (dungeon) - marcilleās magic and desperation#the food the crew cooked (digested) - she is made of many parts!!#also i did not realize how medical it feels to draw smth like this. i dont usually explore the inner parts or use a lot of blood#in my work so rendering everything and looking up refs it felt quite magical (?)#ruporas art
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Thank you all for an incredible 500 days of love and support. I offer you: answers to questions that no one has asked.
(As always, more can be found in the tags <3)
#poorly drawn mdzs#mdzs#wei wuxian#a-qing#jin ling#wen ning#jiang cheng#āHey wait this feels like there should have been way more content for questionsā Yes. There was.#I was not strong enough to redraw *all* of what was lost. Rest in piece the original (lost to tea related accident)#But I'll tell you all the fun other things that would have been drawn out right here in the tags!#Did you know my longest posting streak was 61 days? And my longest hiatus was 6 days?#Did you know I missed posting on 92 days of those 500 days - meaning I posted 82% of the time on a daily basis?#I'm normal about collecting data. I have so much data on this blog for normal reasons. I'm also so normal about art. The normalest.#Honorable mention for the character rankings: Lan Wangji! for āMost improved in rankā.#Sorry Lan Wangji fans but until the audio drama I honestly was...pretty indifferent towards him.#I think a huge part of that was due to the fact he's constantly paired up with WWX; who has *so* much charisma and steals the scene#But I've really come to like him a lot more since starting this project. He rose from mid-tier to being in the top ten!#Dishonorable mention: Nie Huaisang. Who fell out of number 1 spot and out of the top 5.#He just hasn't shown up a lot! And my rankings are fickle! They will probably change once I finish the third season!#My favourite comics are: A lot of them! And the ones I have yet to make!#I'm very sleepy at the moment while writing this but I do want to give a huge shout out to YOU.#Yeah! you reading this! Thank you! If you've been here since the first week or just started reading: THANK YOU!#If you've only ever lurked and never even liked a single post but still read my comics: THANK YOU!!#In creating this blog - I have found 500 days of more happiness that I could have ever imagined.#Thank you for joining me on this journey. Thank you for giving me your time and your support.#It means more than any 'thank you' could say B'*)
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something i promised on my kofi 6 months ago... š«
#sorry for people who has been asking for commission and finding me very unresponsive#literally i don't feel ready mentally ; i think the '6 months' is self-explanatory#frieren: beyond journey's end#fern#sousou no frieren#fanart#frieren at the funeral#actually it was 1.5 years ago; i was supposed to be drawing other character that time#but for 9 months i didn't manage to make myself sit down & finish it; so 6 months ago i re-asked if the person wanted other character#bcs i thought i need to re-start fresh & maybe the person's interest had changed#ko fi#when drawing for money sometimes u sit down & just stop 'working' entirely ; like ur will goes blue screen & refuse to do it#because it's / work / and u have to be more meticulous ; it gives u all the extra pressure#tho i like to have the money again.... but i'll start studying again soon; and i'll need to do my best on this one i think#drawing has always been a distraction on my study so maybe it is a good thing if my drawing drive dies down for a good while#tho not drawing at all also stress me out; finger crossed for good life balance#I CAN'T BELIEVE POPULAR TAG SHOWING THAT PEOPLE ALSO KNOW IT AS 'FRIEREN AT THE FUNERAL'. THAT SOUNDS WAY TOOOO DEPRESSINGGGG.....šššš
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Forget the IF, just wanted to check in and see if YOU were okay dear author? I hope everything is well. I know you have a process lol, but I miss seeing you on my TL from time to time.
oh, kjsdhfjskdf . how sweet<3 thank you for this! I am doing well, crafting ouro alongside some personal shifts and growth and setbacks and victories. it has been a godsend to take all this pressure off for this period and do things my way. though, I'll say: while it has taken and will probably take another while, this silence will be broken at some point. I'll avoid saying soon only because I'm staunchly sticking to my pace&process. however !! I finished the draft for the first book yesterday. !! I am currently doing some hefty edits, collecting art and testing coding (&learning something new a hundred times over, over, again, whether it be storycrafting, interactivity, ui design, social media, art, code ... the list goes on) and so for the most part, I'm having a good time, as long as we count the entire spectrum of the human condition as a mostly good time. pfft.
I miss hanging out here too! I genuinely can't wait to get back to online shenanigans once I feel ready for it; if you'll have me, of course. I can imagine that this type of secret development is frustrating and everyone has their limit. It means a lot that you sent this my way. Hope you're doing well too. <3
#OUROBOROS#ouroboros-if#interactive fiction#so much has changed that i see the public demo as an entirely different work at this point. It has been a fun but daunting journey and some#part of me is sad that I couldn't handle sharing that process as much as I'd like. but life takes precedent and that's just how it be#im so pleasantly surprised that the majority of people who advocate for mental health first actually follow through on the compassion#they promise. do you know what I mean? ouro & the community around it is tiny in the grand scheme but#I have never felt so supported in my entire life#every time I feel scared or hopeless the people around me (and you know who you are. I love you!!) have given me nothing but grace#and the joy of their friendship. that's enough for me-- for now >:3
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The growth from K saying her and Evan didn't work out because it's hard telling and showing someone how much you love them and having them not believe you, to seeing Evan a couple years after that breakup tell Sam that it was an unfair assumption of him to make that she wasn't being sincere and genuine in her kindness to him, and that he used to think love would fix things but that alone isn't enough and he does need to work on himself and accepting the love his friends give to him.
And even then!! The growth isn't done because he's still trying to adjust HIMSELF into making sense in other people's lives, instead of adjusting his THINKING to accept the love freely given, which Sam reminds him of. It's just so beautiful to see the journey and it's not complete yet, Evan still has some work to do, but he's not doing it alone and it will ultimately be so healing for him ššš
#dimension 20#misfits and magic#saw some bad takes about k and the k/evan ship and i just think these players put so much more nuance in this#it's like that 'i wish you wouldn't think about me like that' quote which is the point evan has now arrived at in his healing journey#that in his unlearning of his self-hatred he has realized he's been unfair to his friends by not accepting their love#and learning to do that is the next step in his healing#even if he's not quite got it down yet#very 'he's a little confused but he's got the spirit'#anyway all this hits in the evan kelmp AND evan buckley feels so 911 enjoyers got a double whammy tonight!#brennan when i catch you!#and don't even get me started on danielle who just CRUSHED this scene
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played dragon age 2...just simple scribbles
#dragon age tag#i doubt that will see much use again..but who knows. vvv rambling below#weird game..the characters dialogue stuff and ending were good tho :')#i've played some of the first game but it kept crashing. i knew already despite knowing nothing that this guy was going to be my type#it doesnt feel right making video game art any more bc games like this end up feeling really personal - an experience that happened to me#if i design the main character a bit and fall in love then..that happened to me..i can't make Fan Art of that..only ive been through that..#like i cant make fanart of my dear companions in bg3 despite it having been a huge part of my heart in the last year#almost 1000 hours of playtime in something i can barely talk about bc it means too much.... lol#tons of ideas and conversations and extra thoughts and scenes and emotions about all the incredible times i've been through in bg3#and the maelstrom just rotates around intensely in my own heart forever...but that's ok too...that is so precious to me#but fortunately i already knew people that have played this game and talked/drew abt it recently so it was saved from that for me#sharing scribbly fanart on my Blog is a way to capture the feeling just after experiencing something so it has good points#witch hat atelier escapes that by not being a GAME. games are so immersive. but my wha art & feelings are incredibly immersive too#which makes it difficult sometimes now. i live a complicated and emotional life <3 i am not suited to fandom <3#my character ended up looking so much like oru without me realising that's what i was doing. Kind bearded fireball throwing gay mage. Hmm.#falling for a sad white hair memory trauma fellow that keeps you at a tragic distance. Hmmmmmm.#i see also how very much bg3 is inspired by stuff like dragon age now lol so i'm glad i experienced it. I WANT MY KIRKWALL LIFE BACK...#so dated though as well and unpleasant at times (the city and the dismal atmosphere was depressing.) i hate violence/horror..#bg3 is SOOOO very dismal but it feels like I am killing people and going through horrors because i have to survive i have to be free#Well anyway. ahh it's so refreshing to fall in love. my gay journey continues...
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Ukes deserve to be thicccc.
Jiang Tian isn't sitting behind Sheng Wang in The On1y One for nothing...
It's not just Wen's complicated living situation that seduced Uncle Jim in Moonlight Chicken...
Karan didn't have a secret crush in Cherry Magic Thailand for eight years just because Achi was good with pens...
Ukes deserve to be thicc.
In fact, thicc ukes should also get to be thiccer in the future, and we should have more of them.
#the on1y one#cherry magic th#moonlight chicken#listen there should be awards given to whoever fitted the pants on newwie in cherry magic th#and i know mix is on his fitness journey rn but there's a big 'but' I'd like to offer to that plan#and we got so many full moons on the On1y one this week except the one that Jiang Tian has been mooning over#there's a long way to go with body diversity on these shows i know but just giving some praise for what we've got so far#feel free to add more in reblogs#thai bl#taiwan bl#mix sahaphap#earthmix#taynew#benjamin tsang#liu dong qin
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Perilous Journey AU where Curtain does end up with the duskwort and successfully puts everyone to sleep except it fails because it simply makes Number Two take a twenty-minute nap and then she's up and chasing Curtain with a baseball bat
#ngl this concept is actually terrifying for Number Two if I took it seriously#A. you're literally the only person awake. everyone else has been asleep for days. you're the only one that can stop this#B. there's something so deeply wrong with your sleep that this insanely powerful sleep plant just makes you rest for a few hours#not that there's something truly wrong with her but I think she'd be a little unnerved by that#and maybe feel like she was a bit broken. idk#ANYWAYS. back to the silly. everyone's lying around snoring while she chases him up and down the streets somehow keeping up with his chair#the mysterious benedict society#number two#the perilous journey
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-- "It's plain she cares for you very deeply." -- "And I her. Which is why I had to let her go."
#joshua rosfield#ffxviedit#final fantasy xvi#jote#ffxvi#i have so many feelings!!#i think it's really interesting that jote and joshua have never had an equal dynamic in their relationship#jote has been a protector of joshua's since she was little#even before he regained consciousness she was caring for him#the undying weren't sure he would ever wake up and when he did they must have been so afraid to lose him again#the undying in general are really fraught with their approach to the rosfields and the phoenix/the all-too-willing self-sacrifice#joshua never stood a chance of having a normal childhood regardless of where he grew up#and presumably jote also grew up in the undying so she has never truly experienced a peer to peer relationship with joshua#as soon as joshua woke up she was helping him to stay well and accompanying him on his journey#and in this scene she can't imagine not being by his side#she's scared for his safety but also probably very lost#what does she do with her life now? where does her energy go if not to protecting the phoenix?#i wonder about how jote and joshua feel about each other romantically#i know that they may not feel that way toward each other at all#the romantic shipper in me would like to think they do#it's just such a complicated and special and tender dynamic between them
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My little bebes ā¤ļø
#spesilverweek#IDK IF THIS COUNTS BUT I DON'T CARE#(ā) ļ½”ā .ļ¾ā Red#(ā) ļ½”ā .ļ¾āā Silver#THEY ARE SIBLINGS#I've been thinking about them lately.... wiwiwi#I did this super fast since I'm kinda busy today BUT I NEED TO MAKE MORE THINGS WITH THEM WAAAA#imagine little Red telling Silver about his journey... big brother but it's still a baby too š#I'm so emotional about them rn#MY HONI TOLD ME 'IMAGINE RED TEACHING SILVER TO RIDE A BIKE' AND THAT IS JUST ššššš#ughuhguh my bebes...#I feel like Silver respects Red A LOT and it's still kinda shy talking with him the first days he started to live with Maroon....#Red it's just excited to know he has a little brother now but he gives him his space but tries to be friendly and make him comfortable#I love my bebes that's it#I should make a tag for Silver too#mmmm#I'LL THINK ABOUT IT LATER#pokespe#pokemonspecial#šļø āā Silly doodles
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Bad drawings
something about learning to love the joy of creating and letting go of the pressure to achieve
#art#comic#original comic#this feels so strange to post because it's bad! but that's the point!!!#this premise has probably been done before. but i wanted to do it. badly.#anyway I'm not expecting this to reach any audience at all but in a weird way i like this. i like my green weird pig bear#we went through a Journey#... i should probably go to sleep if this is the stuff I'm making. at 4 in the morning.#anyway love u goodnight
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Lady Bone Demon: "Do not lament your fate child, you can rest knowing you served your purposeādestiny has found you."
(2x10 This is the End!)
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Lady Bone Demon: "A reminder: it seems you can not be trusted to willingly follow the path of destiny. But know this: If you betray me againāone misstep, one failure in any wayāI will erase the very memory of you."
(3x04 The Winning Side)
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Tang: "You're wrong. I know I'm not a strong as they are. I may still be searching for my purposeābut what I do know, is that doing it alone is not the path I'm destined to take. Deep in my heart, I know my place is alongside my friends."
(3x08 Benched)
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Lady Bone Demon: "I sent you a taskāyou were to retrieve the Monkie King and his protĆ©gĆ©, yet you refused the path of destiny and so there will be pain."
(3x08 Benched)
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Tang: "STOP! It was me! I mean, yeah, Macaque forced me to do it and I am definitely starting to have second thoughts on the whole thing now but- I don't know how and I don't know why, I just felt like I had to. Like it was...destiny!" Lady Bone Demon Voice Over: "Destiny can not be undone Sun Wukong."
(3x10 The Samadhi Fire)
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Lady Bone Demon: "No matter what you do, you cannot change the path of destiny." MK: "I don't know if this all happened because it was destined to, but I have to believe that I found the staff so I could use it for good." [...] "If you really believed that destiny can't be changed, you wouldn't be using every ounce of power you have to keep him contained!"
(3x14 Destiny Fulfilled)
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Lady Bone Demon: āKnow this, monkey, you and I are not so different. We both fight for what we think is rightāthat pursuit only leads to one thing." MK: "Hmmhm. To destiny, right?" Lady Bone Demon: "No. To pain." Ā
(3x14 Destiny Fulfilled)
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MK: "I can't believe that worked!" Tang: "Eh, if that was destined to go wrong, then it would have!"
(4x03 The Great Tang Man)
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Tang: "If your bonds of friendships our strong, then you will always find your way back to one another!"
(4x04 Pig Napped!)
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Macaque: "Wukong was on a path of self-destruction, we all were. But when he met the monk, it set him on a different path." MK: "Ah! The path of the good guy! Making those good life choices?"
(4x11 A Lifetime of Mistakes)
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Purpose, Pain, and the Path of Destiny
#originally this started as like ''huh Tang said the thing LBD said'' and then it turned into a 3 way thing between Tang LBD and MK#Like 2 sides of the destiny coin and the guy who undoes/changes destiny#''Destiny has found you'' ''You will always find your way back to one another!''#I FEEL FUCKING CRAZY#THE JOURNEY. THE PATH THERE. FINDING THE SCRIPTURES. YOUR FRIENDS. YOUR PURPOSE. DESTINY. IDK#lmk really was like ''Everyone's destiny is pain. Cope with that fact'' and I've been losing my mind for a year#Like whatever#''No matter what I do it's going to lead to pain''#LIKE THAT'S. THE PATH OF DESTINY (''path of self-destruction''). Okay. Okay#Not even that relevant to the post I'm just in so deep rn#''All doomed to play a role in tearing this world apart'' and then s5 being the world literally tearing itself apart. Like jesus#They really just wanted to completely decimate MK's little positive growth from the special like. Immediately.#''At least we fixed something for a change- instead of destroying it'' AND THEN THEY DIDN'T FIX ANYTHING#WHICH I'VE BEEN SAYING WAS HOW IT WOULD GO FOR A WHILE. BUT ON GOD TO BE PROVEN SO RIGHT#You know I hope Mei also has a terrible time next season I really feel like she was going through it in s4. But like subtly#Not MK's monkie mental breakdown way#*cough* tag rant over#lmk#lego monkie kid#lmk parallels#lmk Tang#lmk LBD#lmk MK#lmk theme: destiny#to pain
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If all we need to live is up to time No one's sure what made it brought me to our way of life
#persona 3#persona 3 reload#p3 reload#ryomina#ryoji mochizuki#oh my gosh I love this song#I never thought.. another song would be able to fit where burn my dread is (I LOVE soul phrase ofc but that was for femc) but this one#it works... it adds a different flavor#it feels like someone who's been watching the protagonist's journey's singing this song with him#WHICH IS WHY.. I KEEP ASSOCIATING RYOJI W THIS ONE..#doodle#but isn't it??? doesn't seem like it's ryoji or aigis?? I'm goin for ryoji bc aigis already has the ending and this one works so well w him#THINK ABOUT IT!!!!#a lot of the lyric's second person's perspective or has āweā or āyouā#that's why I immediately started drawing a lot of ryojis after having seen that opening video and I'M REALLY CONVINCED NOW#spoilers#not really#but implied#persona
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I go off about Catholic/christian religious influencers of all kinds and I do so for many reasons but one of the main ones is just. the feeling theyāre selling (and it is a feeling and theyāre selling it, even if just for views) it doesnāt feel like that for everyone. That whole simplistic set-up of struggle struggle struggle, breakthrough, clarity, emotional peace, tears streaming down the face. Thatās not real. Or at least itās not real much of the time in MANY cases and even when it is real that isnāt the only part or the most important part of having a relationship with God. Itās probably the least important part, the feeling. and so it fills me with RAGE when the emotional part of religion is sold and packaged and paraded and presented on Instagram as āinspirationā! it distorts the whole reality of a relationship with God and puts a literal and figurative Instagram filter over the whole thing.
#I mean. pray in silence where your Father who is in Heaven can see you. like??????#Iām sure Iām getting the direct reference wrong but.#anyways it just bugs me so much because Iām a highly emotional and intense person and religious experiences just arenāt like that for me#and faith isnāt like that for me. and it just isnāt this soft-hearted feel-good thing all the time!!!!!!!! most of the time it isnāt#and it makes me feel sooooooo bad and awful when some Instagram influencer with woman femininity or grace in her handle#shows up in my feed ready to talk about the waters that the Lord has led her through#like I canāt even begin to articulate my own journey with God#nor do I feel compelled to do so. but seeing other people do it makes me feel so instantly awful and alienated#and ā¦. grubby#it makes me feel grubby because I am not seeing the world through soft pastels and lens flares#and because I donāt experience Godās love for me as a feeling#never have probably never WILL#and itās just upsetting and maddening and I think itās so bad for the culture#also Iāve started reading a little bit of st. Francis de sales every night#much against my will at first because pretty much all spiritual reading makes me bristle and makes me anxious#but honestly itās been so good and he finds that kind of insta-influencing DEAD#because it isnāt fake and it isnāt performative and it is practical#and generally itās realistic and hopeful and simple#anyway just ughhhhhhhhhhhhh. I have so many feelings about this
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a very polite animal very politely waits her turn at rally class.
#3 years#dogblr#australian shepherd#rally obedience#i asked our instructor if we could do some RO-1/2 (beginner level) courses today and it was lovely :)#the instructor even noted at the end that kaija seemed to be gaining confidence while working on these easier courses#(vs when we work on more difficult signs she can become stressed and deflated and eventually disengage)#and overall it was just pretty nice idk#i'm trying very very hard to get the joy back#this winter it will have been 3 years since we started training in rally#a lot of this journey has been very fun and enjoyable#and i feel pretty shitty sometimes for essentially giving up#but i still don't see a likely path for us to get back to the trial ring. so.#oof these tags got away from me#i have many emotions wrt rally right now in case you couldn't tell
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