#I feel like they have taken something from me lol

[ampheenix]

What is this feeling, so sudden and new?

TAGS: Sonadow, 2k, post-Sonic 3, fluff & crack, that one trope where a character has a crush and thinks it's an illness lol

SUMMARY:

The surprise attack had taken Sonic completely off guard. He’d been wandering the old lab, gently placing a hand against the cracked glass of Shadow’s old containment pod, wondering just what had happened here…

Then out of nowhere, a gloved hand slammed Sonic against the tank, the impact rattling the glass behind him. A familiar thumb pressing painfully into his cheek, air knocked from his lungs, and the world seeming to narrow down to a single point- the weight and sheer strength of the hedgehog holding him in place.

That very moment was when the symptoms began.

Or, after Shadow survives the blast, Sonic finds himself saddled with strange symptoms. Heated cheeks, a racing heartbeat, dizziness…

There was only one possible explanation.

Sonic was allergic to him.

He had to be coming down with something.

Sonic was sure of it.

After miraculously saving the world, which was just a hair’s breadth away from total devastation, as per usual (with just a liiittle help from a certain ebony hedgehog), then going through the traumatic realization that the ebony hedgehog in question was dead after not surviving the blast, grieving for days only to come to the slightly less traumatic realization that no, he’s alive, he’s literally the Ultimate lifeform and crazy strong and why would you think he died in the first place-

Well. Needless to say, it had been… a lot.

But aside from the illness currently ailing Sonic, the aftermath of that whole incident had been surprisingly peaceful!

Tom had been healing up just fine, looking to make a full recovery (thank goodness), G.U.N had finally stopped trying to head-hunt them after they literally saved the world, and, well…

Shadow.

It had been quite the shock to everyone involved when the small, mournful eulogy they had been holding in honour of him was crashed by none other than the hedgehog himself. He did it all cool, too, walking in casually like it was just good ol’ regular game night and not, you know, his literal funeral.

He’d stopped in his tracks when he saw the tears welling up in Sonic’s eyes and the shocked expressions on everyone’s faces. “Did I… miss something? Why are you all so- oh. Right.” Shadow had realized, eyes widening.

Sonic had then barreled into him with all the grace of a falling piano, arms squeezing him tight and getting his fur wet with tears. He’d then jumped back, looking momentarily embarrassed as he scrubbed his arm across his face. “Where the hell have you been, Shadow?! We all thought you were dead, it’s been like- two weeks!”

“Vacationing.” Shadow had said dryly, only to get a hard punch to the shoulder. He’d moved his gaze to the blue hedgehog, confused. “That almost hurt.”

“This is no time for jokes, man!” Sonic had exclaimed, upset. Then he’d stopped, emotions temporarily on pause. “Wow. I never thought I’d be the one saying that.” Off to the side, Maddie couldn’t help herself as she let out a snort, exchanging a glance with Tom.

“But I wasn’t joking. I landed in New Mexico after the blast.” Shadow had stated, folding his arms. “I ended up paying Gabriella a visit while I was there, and she gave me a tour of the city.”

“Gabriella?!” Knuckles had thundered all of a sudden, racing over. His eyes were huge, looking at Shadow with uncharacteristic excitement. “You met her in the flesh? What was she like?!”

“Woah, Knucks, slow down a sec- who the hell is-” Then Sonic’s mouth dropped open, glancing from him to Knuckles and back again. Because there was only Gabriella he knew of that his brother would get this excited about.

“YOU WENT TO SEE THE GIRL FROM LA ULTIMA PASIÒN?!”

Everyone started laughing, and Shadow growled quietly, looking irritated. “Not intentionally. It was on the way, so I thought I’d stop by and remind her that she’s not a prize to be won. That she should be her own person.”

Sonic was full-body laughing now (though not unkindly) lifting a gloved hand to wipe a tear of mirth from his eye. “God, Shadow, you’re a riot! You do know they’re all actors, right?”

“I know that now.” Shadow had muttered, a bit embarrassed. It was almost cute, Sonic thought to himself absent-mindedly, the way he’d narrow his eyes and glance to the side, cheeks tinged with a hint of pink.

Then Shadow’s eyes had found the humans and their chortling, zeroing in on the tall man with his arm in a sling. Remembering the other reason he’d come (aside from seeing Sonic, of course), he inhaled, readying himself.

 He’d turned to the couple with his gaze on the ground, looking almost… guilty. “Tom?” He’d said softly, voice cutting through the light atmosphere in the room. Almost instantly, every eye was on them.

Tom stiffened, giving him a slightly suspicious look as he’d nursed his injured arm. He hadn’t really been wary of Shadow so far (mainly because Sonic had given them all the full story afterwards- considering the guy had helped saved the world, he hadn’t really held the injury against him. That and the fact that he was supposed to be dead.)

Shadow had winced at his rejection, almost imperceptibly so, but Maddie caught it. She had given her husband a gentle pat on his arm along with a smile. “Come on honey, hear him out.”

Tom had met her eyes for a moment, unsurprised- Maddie never did have the willpower to resist sad hedgehog eyes (and neither did he, to be fair.) Raising an eyebrow at her regardless, Tom turned towards him.. “Alright then… Shadow, was it?”

“Mmm.” Shadow had affirmed. Sonic and his brothers had watched them with curious eyes, wondering what was about to go down.

“I am… sorry, that you got hurt. It wasn’t my intention- I… I thought you were Commander Walters, the man who ordered for my imprisonment fifty years ago. But then the technology, the hologram- whatever it was, glitched out and it was only then that I realized my mistake. I apologize.” Shadow bowed his head.

Before anyone could say anything, he had lifted his head again, turned towards the door. “Thank you. Goodbye.”

In the blink of an eye, he was gone, leaving everyone gaping after him. Sonic had called his name over and over, frustrated that he had disappeared so quickly (he still had so many questions!!), but the hedgehog had disappeared.

Fast-forward to a week later, where Sonic was pacing across the floorboards of his bedroom, mind racing. He was sure of it- Shadow had infected him with something terrible.

First off, the hedgehog was living rent-free in his head, and it was weird.

He spotted a red thing next to a black thing? His thoughts immediately jumped to Shadow.

Noticed a kid gliding around on rollerskates? Shadow again.

And every night when he went out to gaze up at a sky of stars, he couldn’t help but think about the soft words they had exchanged, when he and Shadow had been watching the sun slowly rise over the Earth.

“A light shines, even though the star is gone.”

And it wasn’t just that, oh no!

Whenever Sonic remembered those times they’d spent together... He’d start feeling oddly dizzy and warm, his heart would start racing, he’d feel a weird fluttering in his stomach, and strangest of all…

 He’d feel the strange urge to bury his head in his hands and roll around on the floor.

The first time he’d noticed the symptoms was during the battle- the one just before Shadow had attempted to vaporize them all with a black hole. (But hey, forgive and forget, right?)

The surprise attack had taken Sonic completely off guard. He’d been wandering the old lab, gently placing a hand against the cracked glass of Shadow’s old containment pod, wondering just what had happened here…

Then out of nowhere, a gloved hand slammed Sonic against the tank, the impact rattling the glass behind him. A familiar thumb pressed painfully into his cheek, air knocked from his lungs, and the world seemed to narrow down to a single point- the weight and sheer strength of the hedgehog holding him in place.

Sonic found himself stunned, eyes widened and his senses overwhelmed. His nose had filled with Shadow’s unmistakable smoky scent, a mix of ozone and gunpowder and something faintly metallic. It was a scent Sonic recognized instantly, one tied to lost battles, bruised limbs and tense conversations, but he’d never smelled it up so close like this- it was sharp, intense and almost.. intoxicating.

Shadow had practically reeked of fury and frustration, even more so than usual- distracted by the strong scent and too shocked to even attempt escaping his rough grip, Sonic was reduced to useless putty in his hands as Shadow tugged his head back and hurled him against the wall.

But that adrenaline, that zing of energy that always came with a surprise attack- it still didn’t explain the peculiar warmth in his cheeks when Shadow had hissed directly into his ear, roughly pushing his head into the glass to the point where he couldn’t move (and Sonic was strong, so that was not an easy feat.)

Before he knew it, Sonic found himself rolling around on the floor again with his head buried in his gloves, letting out a high-pitched squeal. What was with him?!

Sonic could tell his family had noticed too… he’d been quieter than usual, too lost in thought to infect the house with his usual contagious grin and razor-sharp wit.

Tails kept shooting him furtive glances when he thought he wasn’t looking, Tom and Maddie had been having more and more whispered conversations late at night (Sonic had caught his name being muttered more than once), and heck, even Knuckles was feeling the weird vibes!

Knuckles! That was how you really knew something was wrong.

It didn’t help that Shadow still hadn’t shown his face in the week since his funeral, not even to say hi, which was just plain rude if you asked him! What kinda guy showed up at his own eulogy, claimed he was ‘vacationing,’ and then just… disappeared?

The mysterious illness… the symptoms only seemed to appear whenever Shadow was involved, so could it be that- wait, no, that was just silly.

But it made too much sense…  Sonic’s antsy pacing slowly petered to a stop as his eyes widened, his mind racing.

He had to be allergic to Shadow. That was the only possible explanation.

Sonic was sure of it. But, well, just to make sure-

“Tails!! Tails!!” Sonic raced down the stairs, taking them three at a time before skidding to a stop right next to his brother. Tails glanced up at him from where he was watching TV with Tom and Maddie. But where was- ah. Sonic’s ear twitched hearing Knuckles rustle around the kitchen- probably hunting about for grapes.

“Sonic?” Tails said, understandably confused. “What is it?”

“If you’re planning another adventure, I hope it can wait another five minutes.” Maddie smiled sensibly, sounding a bit sleepy from under the blankets where she was cuddling with Tom. “Bluey’s about to start.”

“Oh! Wait, really?” Sonic paused, indecisive. On one hand, he’d wanted to ask Tails to give him a quick medical checkup with his scanners. You know, just making sure he didn’t have some other strange disease- that would prove once and for all that his allergies were tied to Shadow, right?

“You should watch with us!” Tom smiled, patting the empty couch cushion next to him. “Though there isn’t much blanket left, thanks to Maddie…” He shook his head at her, bundled up in the fluffy blanket with a shameless grin.

But on the other hand… “Which episode is it?” Sonic asked pensively, this information vital towards his final decision. Chances were, it was one he’d seen a million times-

Tails grinned, knowing they’d won. “The 80s one.”

“Sold.” Sonic said instantly, and in the blink of an eye he was nestled on the couch with them. Hey, it was his favorite episode! Sometimes you just had to prioritize- he could investigate the allergies afterwards.

Knuckles re-entered the room from the kitchen, holding a large bowl of fresh green grapes (as Sonic had predicted). He then stopped in his tracks seeing the blue hedgehog on the couch, frowning. “Hedgehog, you stole my spot.”

“What can I say? You snooze, you lose!” Sonic grinned, sinking further into the couch cushions and making sure to get extra comfortable.

“I will not stand for this disrespect.” Without missing a beat, Knuckles walked over and easily lifted him up with one hand, other hand holding the bowl, before unceremoniously dumping him on the other side of the couch.

He then sat down to tuck into his grapes, sending Sonic a triumphant grin of victory as he did so. The others all snickered, Tails trying his best not to laugh as he gave his brother a consoling pat on the shoulder.

Sonic just rolled his eyes with a good-natured sigh, accepting his fate. Still, that didn’t mean he couldn’t be petty about it- he scrambled over everyone (getting some annoyed groans as he did so) in order to steal some grapes from the Echidna, swiping them quick as a flash before he was back on the other end of the couch.

He nibbled on them with relish, grinning at Knuckle’s sour expression. Hey, these were juicy! Yum.

Sonic settled in to watch TV with his family, and his mind definitely didn’t keep drifting back to Shadow, over and over again.

And that night, when he gazed up at the galaxies and stardust swirled across that inky expanse, he absolutely didn’t hear Shadow’s soft, gentle words echoing in the back of his mind. Nope. Not even once.

…Allergies were really the worst.

If you enjoyed, feel free to leave a kudos on ao3! <3

https://archiveofourown.org/works/62019349

[soldearestsoulmate]

Character + Prompt/Request:

Sol x GN!Reader, for the beginning, then Sol and GN!Reader (spoiler. you break up)

One angsty torturing of Sol coming right up! pfff <3 (More could of been added to this...A continuation? Maybe Reader comes back...Even after all the red flags there, and suspecting what was done...What if they still come back? Only time may tell. lol)

Warnings: Attempted drugging with sleeping pills, manipulation, toxic relationship.

“Why would you put so much hope in me? Things have clearly never worked out for me!”

Rarely he rose his voice at you, unless he really was affected by his emotions, which clearly he was right now.

You've heard him say this before though, done this before. Over and over again, things go well, then they fall, then you work to try to rebuild it all with him, for him.

You loved him, you did. Cared for him deeply. But everyone has their limits, and you finally reached yours.

"You're right...They haven't, and maybe it's a sign this won't work out after all." His eyes widened at your words. He opened his mouth to speak but nothing came out at first. Then he started to panic, you could see it clearly, he quickly grabbed your hands, with pleading eyes.

"NO! THIS WILL WORK! IT WILL! IT HAS TO! YOU'RE MY SOULMATE AFTER ALL! WE'RE MEANT TO BE!" You felt his hold tighten, it was starting to hurt...

"Sol...Maybe you've been wrong though? What kind of soulmate can't make their love truly happy?...Help them with their problems when needed most? Make them more happy than sad, and feel more love than sorrow? That's no soulmate...at least one you deserve. You deserve better."

"No no no please don't say that. Don't believe any of that. I'm sorry! I'm sorry I keep screwing this up! I keep making it hard for you, for us! But I'll try, I'm trying! I'll do better. I'll--I'll try therapy again. I'll talk to Hyugo and--"

"And what? We repeat this all over again? Sol...Please...You know we've been hanging on by a thread for too long...I love you, I really do but...I love you too much to keep making you suffer like this...I...I can't stand to see you hurt anymore...And I know I'm mostly to blame for it all..."

"NO! YOU'RE NOT! IT'S HIS FAULT! ALL ICHABOD'S FAULT! EVEN AFTER RIDDING OF HIM HE STILL--"

"...What?"

Sol let his grip go, taking a step back, realizing what he said. "I mean...I..."

"Sol...What about Crowe? What do you mean 'ridding of him'?"

"P-pumpkin...I can explain. Let me just--" Sol attempted to hold your hands again but you stepped back, moved away from him. Eyes widened in confusion and fear.

"...What happened to Crowe? Solivan, god help me if you did something to him--"

"Pumpkin please! I swear it's not like that! Just let me explain and--"

"Then explain right now what happened to him. Explain or I will call the cops." Sol felt his heart skip a beat and tighten from your threat. Yet he forced a smile, trying to act calm.

"Of course...But let me please make you a drink, some tea, it'll help calm you while I explain...Okay? Please..." Sol's pleading eyes never failed to have a affect on you...So you nodded and let him go get that drink for you.

As Sol left the room, he texted Hyugo, a simple text, saying "They found out." sent out and then he put the phone away to focus on you.

He went to the kitchen to prepare that tea he promised, but pulled out something he thought he'll never have to use again.

"...You just need some sleep, pumpkin. I promise you. It'll all be better soon." He softly said this as he mixed in the pills into your drink. Then looked at the drink in his hands. He knew this had to be done, but wished it didn't come to this again. "I'll make this better again. I promise..."

After a moment of making peace with this decision with himself, he made his way back to the room where you were at.

"Here you go, pumpkin. One warm cup of tea made with lov--" Sol froze as he entered the room, to see no sight of you. Then saw the window wide open, your one and only exit taken. He didn't even care about the cup of tea he dropped, that both shattered and spilled over his shoes.

All he was focused on now was running to the window, to look around outside, in hopes of seeing you but you were nowhere to be found.

"PUMPKIN?! Y/N!" His breathing quickened, his heart raced, he felt his panic rising more as he started to pace the room. Looking for a sign of where you could of went. He even flipped the house upside down for a possible chance of finding you, hoping you were just hiding but you weren't there. You were gone.

Then with trembling hands he grabbed his phone to try to call Hyugo but kept messing up. He was scared, not over you getting the cops after him though. He was scared of losing you, of you being away from him.

He wasn't thinking straight anymore. He left the house in a panic now to look for you, to find you and bring you back home. To make this all right, but you wouldn't be found...Not anytime soon that is...

So he'll just run, and search for you for hours, calling you out, begging and pleading for you to come back. All while he ignores Hyugo's panicked texts and calls...

[ro-bee]

THE COTL X EPIC AU CHARACTER LIST I JUST MADE

no beta we die like pancake polites

The Lamb as Odysseus.

I think lamb is perfect to picture the change of character ody experience, at first they have a pure heart, merciful! But with time and pain the old lamb dies and the ruthless monster is born.

(Fun fact this is more in line with my headcanons for goat but is time to let lamb shine🔥)

The Goat as Polites.

A bit ooc for my goat but I think it's ok, despite them being a little shit I think they are very reassuring and caring for lamb. Funky little goat 🔥🔥

Ratau as eurylochus

I think is an honest role for dadtau hmmm

Narinder as Athena oooor... Hear me out: PENELOPE!

Ok so... Athena is obvious because 1 I'm making a narilamb animatic with warrior of the mind and nari is Athena there obv but also her songs really give me nari vibes idk

But Penelope... Is basically just for the ship nari doesn't fit much with her... But still... will you fall in love with me again IS MAKING ME GO INSANE but yeah... Idk I can't chose...

Leshy as Polyphemus.

There is a line in Polyphemus song that goes "I take from you like you took from me" and that's so leshy coded... Idk I headcanons leshy like a big chaotic beast yes but also like the actual legend of leshy, specifically the ones where he's more of a neutral god that coexist with humans but kills them if they take too much from nature. Also bro get blinded too

Heket as Circe

I love a strong woman that only cares about protecting the people she loves the most, I think Circe is the perfect choice

Also Circe allures men in her palace, cooks for them and then she transforms them into food basically haha is funny in my head.

Kalamar as Poseidon

Before you tell me "but he's pathetic! " yes he is and Poseidon is as well!

I like it to be an escalation of confidence to cowardness. He starts all angry and at the end he's crying in the shower.

Shamura as Zeus maybe but also hear me out : ATHENA!!

Is funny because shamura and Athena have so much in common lol

But first choice was Zeus because Athena was/is taken and I wanted them to still be one of the gods... Also I can see them making lamb choose between themselves and their crew... Evil like the time they made me kill my faves >:( but idk...

But Athena again they have so much in common but also... Having shamura on lamb's side is strange to me but aaaadfd you feel me?

The red fox as scylla

We are the same you and I... I don't think I have to say more 🥴

Claunek as the prophet

Yeah I think is obvious

Chemak as Hermes or Aeolus

Mostly for the vibe and because both give lamb something really important lol

Sozo as Aeolus or Hermes

Same as before

Jalala as Calypso.

Yes yes is because of the crush on lamb

Webber as Telemachus.

Just for the vibes and he's my child

Helob as antinous

Again vibes...

Baal as apollo.

You know at this point I'm going for exclusions but I can see that and I like what I see

Aym ar hares.

Because angry kitty is my fave

Forneus as era

Because she's mother 🔥

Kudaai as Ephesus

Another obvious one, more because of the character than the song I guess

Monch can be Aphrodite

But idk... It's hard because my head goes back to the hares and Aphrodite relationship...

So Aphrodite is open to changes

Mystic seller as Charybdis???

Maybe??? Or maybe not

is hard chat

Anyone that was left out: I don't know who I should give them lol pls help

[unhappy-sometimes]

a 2024 writing retrospective (for sxf fanfic)

ignore the fact that i’m a few days late. i’ve been unbelievably busy the past couple weeks.

in this post i’ll go over the fics i wrote in 2024 think of it as an extremely extended author’s notes. i love to talk and will do so when given the chance.

i’ll start from my latest fic and work my way backwards. spoilers for everything i’ve written in 2024.

(Very) Stupid

Something that I try really really hard to maintain in my writing is believability, specifically when it comes to writing characters. Characters acting out of character is one of my biggest fanfic pet peeves: if I wanted to read about someone’s oc, then I would’ve read a regular book. That being said, I think a lot about how Twilight would actually act like if he were in love. I had an interesting conversation with @cantareincminor forever ago about how he’s so emotionally constipated that it’s kind of difficult to write Twilight in love without making him a bit ooc. Right now in canon it’s hard to imagine him falling head over heels for anyone (in my opinion, anyway).

That being said there are moments in canon where he acts flustered in situations that could be interpreted as romantic. So, for right now, my hypothesis is this: if and when Twilight falls in love, he’s going to be an absolute fool. He’s going to do his usual overthinking and overanalyizing, so much to the point that he starts hesitating over the smallest things.

(Very) Stupid is how I imagine all of that unfolding, although for the sake of comedy I did push things to the absurd. Sometimes Twilight does things in canon with such certainty of “Yes, of course normal people do this, I’m nailing this normalcy thing” that he fails to realize he’s being kinda ridiculous. I also wanted to take that element and incorporate it into a fic.

I also wanted to try subverting expectations (ooh fancy literary term) by having them do romantic things that lead them nowhere. I tried to cram in as many tropes as I could—feeding each other with a fork, only one bed, first kiss—but do so under the guise of Twilight completely missing how dumb he’s being the entire time. He only realizes his feelings until after their first kiss, specifically when Yor surprises him with a quick peck on the cheek. This, of course, was deliberate. I figured that it’d make the most sense if Twilight would only realize his feelings in a situation where he wasn’t the one initiating a (somewhat) romantic gesture because he theoretically wouldn’t be overthinking it. Instead, Yor just sneaks in when his guard is down <3

Endings are usually the hardest things for me to write and (Very) Stupid was no exception. I almost had Twilight pass out at the breakfast table when he kisses Yor but then I realized I’d made him faint in almost every fic I’ve written this year and that felt like a cop out. But I figured it out and I don’t mind the way the ending turned out :D

Also, kind of a random reference, but the title is slightly inspired by VERY NICE by Seventeen lol

Holy crap I’ve written so much for only one fic so far. My apologies in advance.

21 Eden Street

I won’t go into too much detail for 21 Eden Street because it’s still ongoing, but I just wanna brag about how fun it is to write hehe. It’s really enjoyable to write pure crack and come up with stupid and insane ideas with Cantare. You don’t need to have seen either iteration of 21 Jump Street to understand what’s going on. Honestly, we’ve taken very little from the source material and treated it more like a loose guide and a basis for brainstorming.

Don’t worry, we haven’t abandoned it! Cantare is waiting on me to finish writing my chapter (hehe sorry, Cantare!) and soon it’ll be back up and running.

Seeing things

Ah, Seeing Things, my beloved <3

This fic has the least amount of hits out of everything I’ve written (which is not surprising to me) but I hold it very dear to my heart. There’s not a specific reason why other than I just really enjoyed writing it. I also spent a ton of time making supplementary drawings and a whole hype campaign for it, too, so I kinda am obligated to feel some sorta way about it.

Anyway, the way this fic came about is simple; I just had the things I am most afraid of happen to Twilight. Yes, I’m scared of serial killers and my loved ones dying like everyone else, but something I am absolutely terrified of are hallucinations. That and doppelgangers.

Not being able to tell reality apart from fiction activates the flight or fight senses in me. Real life can be scary, yes, but reality is bound by the rules of reality. Literally anything can happen in fiction. The most horrific, awful things are possible in fiction and if those things suddenly become possible in reality???? Girl I am GONE. Passing away. Curling up in a fetal position in the nearest corner. I don’t know if that makes any sense. If I ever start seeing things that I can’t be sure are actually happening or not, I am choosing to die right then and there. Doppelgangers as a concept are also really scary to me. It’s like stranger danger but times a thousand because you can’t tell who the strangers are anymore.

In my initial draft, there wasn’t nearly as much of a tension between Twilight and Yor. If I recall correctly, by then I’d written to nearly the end and realized that for Yor this whole experience has been Loid acting just a little more weird than usual. It might’ve been Cantare’s suggestion (just assume everything after Guy’s Night has been beta’d by Cantare and you’ll be mostly right) but I realized that Twilight probably would start to suspect the people around him were screwing with him. I added the scene where his room was messed up and it all fell into place hehe.

I don’t like writing gore or the like because I feel like typical gore quickly starts escalating into levels of pain that the average reader has no possibility of comprehending and it loses its efficacy. Instead I tried feeding into Twilight’s paranoia, adding things that in isolation are just weird but when put together are unsettling. I shamelessly stole the fourth room hallway from Impossible Landscapes, a Delta Green campaign that I highly recommend you check out if you enjoy surreal horror. I purposefully kept some things vague, like the things Anya sees in Twilight’s mind, the way Handler’s face gets warped, or the description of “the watchers” because I felt like going into detail would lose the unknown-ness of it all. That and I’m lazy heehee.

In some way, canon Spy x Family does deal with ideas of doppelgangers and paranoia. Spies are constantly afraid of being listened in on, they don’t know if they can trust anyone, and they always have to keep an eye over their shoulder. For someone who is always a little scared of being spied on (I cover my phone and laptop cameras for that exact reason), that kinda sounds like torture. Seeing Things was a fun way to crank that paranoia up to a hundred. It was especially fun writing the museum scene because I tried thinking of things that are just ever so slightly off, things that theoretically could exist but clearly don’t.

I also threw in other things I’m scared of, like being watched, being followed, the dark, and the bathroom at night just to be extra mean to Twilight <3

Anyway, I’m rambling and this analysis post will be a novel if I keep this up.

Guy’s Night

I do recognize the insane tone shift going from Seeing Things to Guy’s Night.

What is there to even say about Guy’s Night? I got the idea from Psych (the Last Night Gus episode) who got the general basic from the Hangover movies. I wrote it all out in a few days, one of which I was sick in bed. I don’t know what to say.

Looking back on it, I don’t love the way it turned out. I’m glad I wrote it but where I usually don’t mind rereading my stuff for fun I do kinda cringe at Guy’s Night. It relies on a lot of contrivances which I tried masking with humor but it’s still a bit obvious. If you make a timeline of the previous night’s events, it only kinda makes sense.

It doesn’t help that I went into it with no plan whatsoever. I just sat down and said what happens happens. When I wrote in chapter one that something had happened between Loid and Yor, I didn’t know what that was. When I wrote Loid saying “we need to see what’s on that camera film” I was right there next to him saying “buddy, so do I because I have no idea.” When wrote Franky saying that his friend Marko might have answers, I was hoping he would too because I, like everyone else, didn’t know what was going on either.

The ONE thing I DID know was that Twilight got a tattoo the night before. That was it. That’s all.

I don’t typically plan out everything when I write but I usually have a good idea. For Guy’s Night, I had a bad idea in that I had no idea. It kinda shows. Sorry.

That being said, it was incredibly fun writing their drunk shenanigans and banter. The dynamic between Twilight, Franky, and Yuri was so goofy that I’ve seriously debated writing a sequel of sorts. However that’s incredibly unlikely. If I ever do write a sequel, it’d be a Girl’s Night with Yor and a combination of female characters, probably Sylvia and Fiona.

After Peace (and Glimpses of Happiness)

A quick heads up: I don’t go into detail but I do discuss mental illness in this segment.

I am incredibly proud of how After Peace turned out. Not only did it receive a really good reception for being my first fic ever, but it also helped me work through some things in my own life. It’s important to give some context.

I wrote After Peace shortly after graduating college. I won’t go into specifics, but college was really, really difficult for me. I had been so excited for this next step in my life after graduating high school but instead it turned out to be one of the hardest experiences of my life. Depression came out of nowhere and stomped me into the ground.

I used to have very high expectations for myself; I had a clear vision of what I wanted to do with my life and I was taking steps to work towards those goals. Then my mental health tanked and suddenly everything just felt so difficult and pointless. I’d sleep all day and then hate myself when the sun started to set because that meant I’d wasted an entire day doing nothing when I was supposed to be working towards something. But I just couldn’t do it anymore.

That’s something I’ve noticed that a lot of media gets wrong about depression sometimes. It doesn’t always make you feel sad. Sometimes it just sucks everything out of you—sadness, happiness, anger, everything. I stopped drawing, stopped listening to music, stopped eating, stopped exercising, stopped doing everything that I enjoyed because it felt like the equivalent of doing the dishes. Everything was a chore, even the things that I liked.

What really changed things around was when my poor roommate, who was sick of me sleeping for twenty hours a day, dragged my sorry self to the free counseling services on campus. It’s doesn’t fix everything, but having someone who cares about you and you care about can really help your mental health.

Anyway, let’s not forget I’m talking about an anime fanfiction here haha.

After Peace really did start out as a couple of doodles but as I started to write it, I noticed that there were a lot of similarities between myself and Loid. No, I am not a former spy turned grumpy hermit, but I did once have great aspirations and now have to settle for what reality offers me. Realizing that worth comes from simply existing was something that I had to understand in order to begin my recovery process.

I’ve always found it kind of sad that if you took away the goal of world peace from Twilight that you’re basically left with nothing. He doesn’t really have hobbies, no real friends, and he never takes a day off. That’s hardly sustainable. Would he really be happy when there’s nothing left to do? I’d like to think so, but I wanted to see what would happen if he wasn’t.

I mentioned this in the end note, but After Peace was also influenced by this comic I was working on years ago that had the similar premise of “grumpy man learns to enjoy life with the help of a young girl” (very original, I know). I doubt that I’ll ever release that comic in the capacity I once intended, but it does live on in my secret second tumblr account of you ever manage to find it.

Anyway, I was worried about writing After Piece because Anya plays a big role and I am Not Good at writing children. It was hard striking a balance between making Anya likeable but still realistic. I don’t interact with children often and, as a youngest sibling, I don’t have much experience with them. Anya has so many layers—being a test subject, being a telepath, being a child—that it was hard managing them all. But I’m okay with how she turned out.

There is a slight problem in that she basically disappears once Yor shows up D:

I debated having Yor in the fic at all but then I realized that without her the emotional climax would have to rely on a four year old’s emotional intelligence and then decided right then and there that Yor had to be in it haha.

Yor’s whole deal with accidentally killing the wrong person was kind of a last minute addition. I do wish I was able to explore that more, but I also feel like she’s emotionally mature enough to forgive herself more quickly than Twilight would. She ends up serving a bit of a role model to him. It was also nice to be able to write them interacting with the truth out on the table and for them to be honest with each other.

Pacing was something that I was very concerned with. Looking back on it now, I’m still worried that things move along a bit quickly. However, I am reminded of some advice my graphic design professors gave me: “Good design is when nothing more can be take away.” And, because I was writing this as fast as possible, you best believe I was taking things away if I didn’t need them. I didn’t want to fall into the trap of dwelling on Twilight’s thoughts for too long so I instead opted for showing him progressing through experiences instead. I think it worked out.

However because I took so many things out I decided to start Glimpses of Happiness, a supplementary fic to After Peace that fills in the cracks, so to speak. I wanted to have more moments between Twilight and the other characters, like stargazing with Anya and growing close to Yor. Right now there’s only one chapter, but I have plans for at least a few more. I also thought it was important to highlight that mental health recovery never truly ends. Just because Yor and Twilight had a nice chat on the roof doesn’t mean that things are suddenly okay. It’s a long process that sometimes never ends and I wanted to show that.

Of course, I can’t talk about After Peace without addressing the Midwest allegations. As I said, yes, this fic was inspired by my childhood in the American Midwest, even though I was nowhere near any mountains. The Midwest is a silly place full of nothing to do but go to your local Walmart for fun, but I think it served a good enough setting for Twilight to chill out and slow down. If I really wanted to do full Midwest, I’d have Twilight watch a tornado touch down on a cornfield from his truckbed, but that feels sort of out of place.

I feel like there’s more to say but I can’t think of anything and I doubt anyone’s actually gonna read all the way down here anyway. But yeah, that’s After Peace.

Oh, and the A.M. AM by Damien Jurado Youtube video currently has nine comments that mentjon falling from a five story building, which I think is really funny.

So now what?

Against my better judgement, I’m still writing. I have a couple projects in the works, especially one big big big one that hopefully I can start publishing soon. Keep an eye out for that.

In the meantime, thanks for a great year! I hope 2025 holds more great things in store for us all!

-unso ^. .^<

[kcalsforhim]

𓏲.ೃ࿔❀˙˖ ｡ sunday 6 jan 2025

༄.°

guys this is weird lol.. i think (?) i already said yesterday in the entry i would go do drugs with my friend and usually the next day i remember but… i don’t remember

so we’re going to piece together my day based on what i can find on my phone…

taken at 07:59 in the morning

- tuna in a bowl — (116) — with some mayo —(115) — and a teaspoon of greek yogurt — (12)

- hashbrowns made from courgette — (27) — and eggs — (65) — and a bit of flour — (36)

- 3 dates — (70)

- either 0calories lemonade or fanta , i think the first tho but i do know i had fanta at some point too…

i remember the tuna being gross but the courgette was good. this food was calorie counted in my app and i texted eli in the morning saying i was ready to count my calories…

at 11:15 i have these pictures.. cardio

red bull the winter edition — 115

at 16:36 typical failure getting a non sugar free drink just cause it tastes good and ur not paying…

after that, no pictures untill 20:48 where i took some bodycheck pictures, a dick pick, a “you can’t screenshot this” from instragram and a whole paragraph my ex sent me about how she misses me and wants me to give her a purpose and save her from her uselessness.

i read my messages with my ex, my friend who i did drugs with and eli to get some more clues lol

nothing interesting was said between me and my ex just very typical bickering and arguing as usual

my friend i sent nothing but 2 instagram reels to, one about an anime girl falling on the floor and i wrote “me” and the other one was about some cringe anime clip about savouring food your friend buys you and being grateful and he said, and i quote “Dude you were straight gulping it down” so i don’t want to even ask what happened there i’ll just reset my binge counter and.. erm not think about it

then eli wrote me a lot of very nice things to wake up to i actually sobbed LOL, also i wrote to her that my friend at some point got an erection while i was on him when we were hanging out so that’s something ;; i also decided i would go on a protein bar diet ? i mean sure. i wrote that id eat nothing but a protein bar daily but i do want to add allowing myself a bit of steamed vegetables too cause come on it’s vegetables ;; im fine with everything else tho cant even lie

alright, that’s all i got in terms of my day yesterday.. very interesting T_T i think maybe i either need to bring my own munchies or maybe stop doing drugs for a bit cause mentally i don’t even feel like binging so what is this LOL

love this song

𓏲.ೃ࿔❀˙˖ ｡ stats for today

streak : 0 days T_T

calories : half uncounted

steps : 20.3 k

disappointed but excited for the new diet that was decided ? idk where it came from or well i likely just don’t remember;;;;; i wrote to eli i had been thinking about it for days but um i don’t even know if i have school or not and its 12pm …

༄.°

[charmac]

i just read your post about charlie and dennis being csa victims and how that affects their characters-- i thought you did fantastic job with your analyses. i feel like i learned a lot and i better understand these characters now. dennis being hypersexual as a result of his assault and charlie being fearful and avoidant of sex were really insightful points that I never realized, especially the point about charlie regressing as a result of his trauma.

the point you made about dennis pursing sex as something only for HIM to enjoy was another great point, I always felt like he went for younger women and enjoyed coercing them into sex because it is the only way he could feel in control and safe while having sex, as control was so completely taken from him when he was 14 by mrs klinsky, whether he realizes it or not.

the comparison of these characters as well as their wounds is so important imo and really highlights how much this show gets right in terms of trauma. even though on it's surface iasip is just a haha funny poop joke show, i feel it is truly one of the better depictions of trauma on tv in recent times

I love hearing that something I've laid out has helped someone understand/reckon with the characters better, that's very much why I think it's worth dissecting (other than to like, just to get it out of my head lol).

Trauma response, especially related to CSA, is a really hard thing to wrap your head around outside of experience, and it's almost a little surreal to me how Sunny manages to tackle it almost absolutely to a tee (though I do think a lot of it is established in retrospect, it's still impressive they got there).

And of course, as you say, it's important to highlight these aspects of the show, not to excuse the actions of the characters (though I do think pointing these things out helps people put words/evidence as to why they feel for them when they hit low points, and why they're watchable and likeable as characters, in almost all instances), but to provide evidence of its complexity and the deep, emotional attachment people have to Sunny that they often can't explain. The "rawness" of the show is evident in so many aspects, but genuine complexity of that rawness is sometimes hard to articulate when it's baked beneath dark comedy and satire.

[dynamicccsworld]

Why Little Shop of Horrors may parallel some things in Wills life.

Spoilers for Little Shop Of Horrors, duh. (And I'm Making this literally only because of Will's poster, lol)

First of all, the ending.

In the original Little Shop of Horrors, Audrey II takes over the world, killing off all of humanity.

However, In the other ending featured in the theatrical release, instead features a good ending where Audrey ll is defeated and Seymour and Audrey get to live together happily.

Now, after thinking about this for a while I came to the conclusion this is something that could happen in Stranger Things.

For example, swap Audrey II with Vecna.. in a way.

Imagine the "bad ending" is what Vecna is going to make people see, instead of what actually happens. This also would go along with Nancy's season 4 vision.

And the the good ending could be what really happens at the end of ST. (And instead of it being Audrey and Seymour living happily together, it's Will and Mike 👀.)

Second of all, the theme of ST.

Now, one of Stranger Things's themes is about outcasts/ being different.

Although the themes for both media are different; Seymour is shown to be a outcast at the very beginning of LSoH.

Seymour is a outcast until he becomes popular after getting Audrey ll.

If something were to be taken from it and put into ST; it would likely show a character going from a outcast to a hero/popular person. (Maybe someone in the party becomes famous? Like the characters in IT chapter two..)

Third of all, going back to the first release.

Audrey sacrifices herself by asking Seymour to feed her to Audrey II, because she believes it is the only way to ensure Seymour's success and well, happiness.

Now.. imagine if this means a certain someone will sacrifice themselves to Vecna to protect one of the members of the party. I could definitely see Will sacrificing himself, but it failing. (Because no, Will cant die because I said so.)

This would be in character considering that Will has been shown to be self sacrificial before, and I wouldn't doubt the show would showcase this aspect of his character again.

And lastly, the songs.

Skid Row:

• Seymour talks about Mushnik's mistreatment of himself, which may parallel Lonnie or Ted.

"He took me in, gave me shelter, a bed, Crust of bread and a job. Treats me like dirt, calls me a slob."

Seymour dreams about leaving Skid Row, claiming if he doesn't he'll rot there.

"Someone gimme my shot or I'll rot here."

The general outlook of Skid Row by its residents is negative; which is the same outlook some of the characters have of Hawkins.

This could foreshadow members of the party moving out of Hawkins in the show. (Which would also be similar to IT; which Stranger things is inspired by.)

(No lyrics for this, quite literally because the whole song is about people disliking living in Skid Row.)

Da-Doo:

•Not much I could see that would parallel in this song, other than Audrey ll being described as something from another world the first time Seymour sees it.

"And there was this strange humming sound, Like something from another world"

This could parallel Will's first time seeing the Demogorgan, I guess.

Suppertime:

•I originally thought Suppertime wouldn't have anything that could be shown in stranger things, but alas I was pretty wrong.

"He knows just what you've done."

Perhaps Mike knowing about what Will was going through in Season 2. Mike knew Will was a Spy, Mike knew what Will had did.

"You've got no place to hide. You've got nowhere to run. " Parallels Season one, quite obviously.

Audrey II taunting Seymour about Audrey may mean Vecna will taunt Will about his feelings for Mike in S5.

Also, Suppertime is a song which happens when Mr. Mushnik tries to find Seymour guilty of killing Orin.

It ends when Seymour causes the death of Mr Musinik by leading him to Audrey II.

This has faint parallels to Season 2; when Will was being possessed by the mind flayer, which caused Bobs death.

Mean Green Mother:

•Nothing at the moment sticks out to me, but I feel it definitely could parallel how Vecna treats Will in the future?

Prologue:

•Do I even have to say it? Id say a lot of the words in the prologue song match up with Wills life.

"Tellin' you, you better, Tell your mama, Something's gonna get her. "

Directly parallels Will telling Joyce to run with the Christmas lights.

And as Noah stated, Will will be protecting Joyce more in S5.

"Call a Cop"

Cough cough, Hopper.

"Ooh, hit the dirt, baby."

When Will first sees the Demogorgan, he bikes into the dirt.

"Something's comin' down, down the street for you!" When Will first sees the Demogorgan, it's on the street.

Somewhere That's Green:

•I don't think most of the lyrics here mean anything, but..

"And I dream of a place, Where we could be together at last"

Will probably dreams of a world where he can be supported for being queer, a world where him and Mike could be together.

"Far from Skid Row, I dream we'll go, Somewhere that's green."

Once again, I don't think anyone in the party wants to stay in Hawkins forever. That's just my perspective though.

Suddenly, Seymour:

•Self explanatory.

"Suddenly, Seymour is here to provide you."

"Sweet understanding, Seymour's your friend"

The song is about how Seymour treats Audrey, which could parallel how Mike treats Will, or vise versa.

"Nobody else treated me kindly. Daddy left early, Mama was poor"

Well, this is obviously a parallel. The Byers are definitely far from wealthy, and Lonnie did leave. And Will has stated before that Mike is the only one that doesn't coddle him.

"Please understand that it's still strange and frightening"

Having queer feelings in the 80s/90s along with the whole UD thing is pretty frightening.

Feed Me Seymour:

•Could possibly foreshadow Vecna trying to manipulate Will into joining him.

But the most likely parallel is it could be representative of the Mind Flayer in Will's mind in Season Two. In LSoH, Audrey II quite literally manipulates Seymour in a way. The only reason Seymour killed Mushnik and Orin was because of Audrey II.

Which lines up with Will saying "He made me do it" in season two. (Also, the whole Feed Me narrative can be viewed as how Will fed the Mind Flayer information.)

The Meek Shall Inherit:

•As I stated before, this song could parallel a member of the party becoming famous. Other than that, not much else can be said.

"And you're a meek little guy"

Meek; an attitude or quality of heart whereby a person is willing to accept and submit without resistance to the will and desire of someone else.

Sound familiar?

Grow For Me:

•Doesn't seem to have any parallels to Will, but it's similar to the whole Dustin & Dart arc.

Some Fun Now:

•Alot of explosive talk, and there's been a lot of fire/explosives in ST.

"Then he lit a fuse and give him room."

"He started an explosion, holy cow!"

"That thing went bang, kaboom"

Conclusion..

I feel like LSoH has many similarities to Will's life, and there could be even more in S5.

But, who knows! These could all just be coincidences and I'm just looking too far into it.

[messy-does-cosmology]

Lol there is this LGBT bookshop near me run by this married couple and they mostly just stock their own self-published books and graphic novels

[mazojo]

Anyways XO Kitty love interests summarized

Dae

Min Ho

Yuri

[angelmush]

went to the state fair yesterday and tried so so much good food !!! my favorite things were the pickle lemonade (literally my favorite drink ever since i first tried it a couple weeks ago) and the fried pickles and the roasted corn. feeling like a true midwesterner after that :-)

[torgawl]

if wriothesley doesn't appear in any quest once we get to remuria, what even is the point?

the parallels between wrio and king remus are crystal clear. remus who descended upon meropis (a name very familiar to anyone who knows of the fortress of meropide) in his golden fortuna, the legendary ship of remus that is also called the bringer of civilization and glory (wrio who built a ship to deal with the misfortune upon fontaine) is an example of it.

wrio also has connections to hades with the cerberus motif as guardian of the underworld. it's curious that the tower in remuria is described not only as not built to receive heavenly oracles, serving as a guide to ships traveling between islands, but also as a border of reality and dreams. if this is not necessarily literal but a metaphor or allegory, it could fit very well with the idea of a portal between domains or realms, like life and death.

wriothesley also parallels another character in the genshin universe and that person is arlecchino. they were brought up as orphans, taken in by an institution with corrupted leaders, which they reformed and achieved a leading position of. and funnily enough, she has ties to purgatory (a place for punishment, much like the fortress). as i have said in another post, purgatory has been described by dante as a tower leading to heaven. but we also know that celestia in the genshin world is associated with the demon realm - archons being named after ars goetia, an anonymous grimoire on demonology. although the concepts aren't the same in theory, is it impossible that the game has used elements of both? wriothesley and arlecchino's themes are similar enough to overlap. even though i don't expect wriothesley to be lore revelant anymore, i do think his ties to remuria and his role as someone who punishes others for their sins, much like arlecchino, is very much purposeful.

[scrawlingskribbles]

not me blearily waking up at 5:30am almost in tears bc I had a dream that Ian had apparently been making more little OK KO shorts on the side and the utter joy I was feeling as dream!me was scrambling to find & watch them only to wake up before I could........ :((((

[meownotgood]

chapter one word count = 34k, chapter two word count = 36k

that means finally, 70k word count in total 🫡

[bigmammallama5]

i turned in my paperwork to start selling pots in our art center's gallery shop, so now i gotta bust my ass again to get some more work churned out (which this is very cool, and i need to provide some mugs for a special instructor's "mug event" now). i went and looked around and there wasn't a terribly broad array of work? cups, bowls, mugs, some smaller serving dishes, mostly functional work. i'm thinking i'll do cups, mugs, some small bowls for ease, then i'm thinking some pumpkins (with or without a face or a lid idk), some little shroomies which are easy and cute, and then if i can get them right maybe some of those tumblers with the half lid for straws? maybe some wild clay slip...

but now bc i'm teaching more and i might have a little extra from this now, idk if i'll have the time to dedicate for illustration commissions like i had been hoping to do. im still gonna think about it, and at the very least might find a new online shop to offer prints that isn't redbubble. it's not a light decision to consider. :/

[scarlettfevor]

Looking back, the way Garroth was acting in the last episodes of season one of diaries was ridiculous. Like, you're a grown ass man WHY are you, as the head guard, sulking in your room all day just because you saw the girl you've liked for literally 2 months kiss another guy when your village is on the brink of war???

[smallsies]

listen the thing that really sticks in my head about woe.begone is the potential that the utilization of time travel within the canon storyline changes the events relative to the way we (the audience) experience it.

maybe this has been addressed in the pod or is altogether just too meta, but the idea that, for example, something could've happened to some version of mike that now, thanks to continuity/corrections/ the like, we (as meta w.bg pod listeners/in-canon listeners to w.bg as "mike's podcast"?) don't remember, because the iterations of him that initially experienced the event in their timelines, for one reason of another, are equally unaware that it ever even happened.