#I feel like that was its intended purpose
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Sorry I missed you (on purpose)
Buck knew Tommy's schedules and habits, and he knew exactly when Tommy wasn't home.
Tommy's schedule fluctuated from week to week, so how did Buck know this? Well, Buck started anti-stalking Tommy, which is...still stalking, but he was only doing it to avoid running into Tommy. It doesn't make sense. To you, to anybody, but it makes sense to Buck, and Buck's gonna Buck, right?
Tommy liked to keep the porch light on because he fed a neighborhood cat whenever he was home, and he wanted the cat to know it was safe to come on his porch and have a bite to eat. Tommy was just good like this.
It's so hard not to love him.
Monday. Porch light on. Tuesday. Porch light off. Wednesday. Porch light on, and the curtain was open. Buck's heart raced when he saw Tommy walk past the window. What was he doing? Was he alone? Buck didn't intend to stick around too long and find out, so he drove off.
Thursday. Porch light off. Perfect. Buck left a post-it note on Tommy's front door.
"Wanted to drop some things of yours, but you weren't home and I didn't want to leave them on the porch. Feel free to call or drop by anytime! -Buck"
There. Simple enough. Now Buck just had to get the hell out of there before Tommy returned.
Two days passed and Tommy hadn't called, texted or stopped by. Why?
Did the post it note blow away? Did the cat eat it? Maybe he should've reinforced the post-it with some tape or something.
Or maybe...Tommy didn't want to talk to him at all. Maybe he just hated him.
Buck carried that thought to bed.
The next day after Buck's shift, he returned home to find a post-it on his door.
"Sorry I missed you. I have some of your things as well. You can drop mine off and pick up yours this week. Or I can stop by. Your choice. -Tommy"
Buck read the note over and over again. He could hear Tommy's voice in his head with every syllable his eyes scanned on the note. It even had the lingering smell of Tommy's cologne.
Buck stuck it to his fridge.
He missed talking to him.
The next day after his shift, Buck drove past Tommy's house. Porch light on.
Buck kept driving.
The day after, Buck returned to Tommy's again. Porch light off. This was his moment.
"Sorry I missed you again. I just can't seem to remember your schedule. Stop by whenever you can."
He stuck the post-it to the door, but he was unsatisfied, so he pulled out a second post-it.
PS: hope you're taking care of that knee that was bothering you a few weeks ago. You never took that compression sleeve. Should I bring it? -Buck"
It was a little ridiculous, sure, but Buck was talking to Tommy again. Sort of, and it was great.
Buck stopped baking as often, and everyone at the firehouse thought he was making some sort of progress. He told them he was. He just didn't explain the sort of progress he was making.
When he returned home from his shift 3 days later, there were 3 post-its on his door and his eyes lit up with excitement.
"We've gotta stop (not) meeting like this. I can't seem to remember your schedule either. I'm sure we'll sort this out soon." Buck smiled as he grabbed the first post it, before reading the second.
"My knee's better, but I'd still like that compression sleeve. Do you think you could drop it off with my stuff? Or I'll pick it up." Buck smiled wider. He was glad to know Tommy's knee wasn't bothering him as much anymore, but he was happy to know he still wanted his help.
"Let me know what works for you. PS: Is that wrist still bothering you? I hope it's all healed up now. -Tommy"
Buck stuck the post-its to his fridge and smiled to himself. He was almost convinced they'd talked via post-its enough to talk via text, but he didn't feel like it was the right time yet.
He continued anti-stalking Tommy for days, waiting for the day his porch light wasn't on. It had been 4 days since the porch light was off.
Finally. He hoped Tommy wasn't too worried. Then again, he probably wasn't worried at all, Buck assumed.
"Sorry again. I just have a lot of things keeping me busy so I stop by whenever I get the chance. I'm going to try again until we get this right." Buck stuck the first note to the door.
"PS: my wrist is fine now, thanks for asking. I've been putting it to use a lot lately because I'm baking so much."
Buck stuck the second note to the door, but wanted to leave three post-its like Tommy did, just to seem equally as invested in this post-it tag.
"PPS: I almost tripped over the bowl by your front door. Are you still feeding that cat? -Buck"
Buck stuck the final note to the door feeling satisfied. He even laughed to himself when he realized he stuck them to the door in the shape of a heart with the first two on top, and the third beneath.
Tommy probably wouldn't even notice.
When a week passed and Buck hadn't seen a single post-it on his door, he was beginning to worry that Tommy grew tired of their game of tag.
The next day, there was one, single post-it on his door.
"I think maybe I should text you."
Buck's heart was beating out of his chest. Was Tommy going to text him finally?
When? What time? What day? Today? Please be today, Buck hoped.
Buck was back to checking his phone for the next few hours. He started baking again to pass the time so he'd stop obsessing over his phone.
When he heard his phone ding, he nearly jumped across the counter for it.
Buck and Tommy continued to occasionally text for a week. Occasionally became frequently, and frequently became constantly, until they were talking again about any and everything that crossed their minds.
When Tommy addressed them finally meeting in person to exchange their belongings, Buck dreaded the thought. He was convinced that exchanging their belongings would end their text exchanges, so he blew Tommy off several times with various excuses about why he was too busy to meet.
Tommy was willing to wait and continue to text Buck, until one day, the texting turned into a phone call.
"Are you avoiding me on purpose?" Tommy asked.
"I-uh-no-I-I'm not. I'm not avoiding you. Not...intentionally." Buck stammered.
Tommy laughed on the other end of the phone. "Evan." There was that teasing voice Buck so dearly missed.
"Okay, okay. Maybe I am. I wasn't ready to do this face-to-face, in case this was going to be the last time we ever saw each other. So first, I dragged it out with the post-its..."
"I knew I saw your car that night! I thought maybe I was imagining it. Maybe...I dunno, wishful thinking."
Buck listened to the momentary silence and the soft sigh on the other end of the phone.
"The notes were cute, though. I...liked them. I suppose I was avoiding you too. Just to keep this going for a little bit longer."
"Really?" Buck smiled. "Y-you were? I didn't think you even wanted to talk to me anymore—"
"Are you kidding? Of course I do. I just...I know we broke up so suddenly. I...thought maybe we wouldn't work out. I guess it all felt too real and I...ran. I've done nothing but act cowardly since that night."
"I don't think you're a coward, Tommy. I didn't mean to scare you off. If you don't think I'm ready, I can promise you that you're wrong. Since the moment you left, I haven't stopped thinking about you. The baking was just to keep me from reaching out to you so I could give you space."
"I hate space. I hate avoiding you. I miss you, Evan. So much."
"I miss you too."
There was another silence while they each gathered their thoughts.
"Do you uh...do you still want your stuff back?" Buck worriedly asked.
"The only thing I left at your apartment that I want back is you."
Buck smiled so wide, his cheeks were aching. "You mean it?"
"Of course. When are you free?"
"For you? Whenever your porch light is on." Buck answered, getting a lighthearted laugh out of Tommy.
"Well...they're on right now."
"Yeah? I'll be right there."
Leave me kudos <3
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Hello I read your stuff and loved it! Gotta give all the kudos and drop a request.
Ambessa or Mel, you choose, with a soft reader. I feel like neither of them are particularly used to tenderness. But then there is reader well respected, powerful, and strong. It is frustrating to see this person who naturally has that tenderness despite what life has done to them and they don't know how to feel being on the receiving end.
Hallo sweetie,
Thank you for this request. I really enjoyed writing it and may add to it later, but for now you sort of have a smattering of tenderness for them both. I hope it's alright, it formed in an unexpected way
Ambessa's inability to understand the tenderness you exude makes her victim to that very same attitude. Little drabbly thing, SFW.
Ambessa was stuck between fury and admiration.
There you stood, gentle and demure, with the attention of the room perfectly commanded. She had known that Mel had found a mentor of sorts in Piltover, somebody who had aided her rise onto the council, but being presented with such a force was unsettling.
You were so tender. Neither fox nor wolf, you moved like a delicate bird, all exotic feathers and soft song. The worst part was it was not merely superficial. You were not beautiful without any other merit. You were a clear, precise politician with your influence gently glittering across both top and bottom side.
Things in Piltover had mellowed slightly with your interference and it was clear you intended Mel to continue that legacy. You had said as much in your first meeting with Ambessa, praising Mel in more ways in ten minutes than she had done in her whole life. It had not seemed to weaken her, she blossomed under the encouragement, her decisions more cutthroat than yours, though you made no attempts to dull her blade.
Several days later you found yourself cornered on a balcony, Ambessa’s hard eyes staring into you.
“What is it you want with my daughter?”
You laughed, light and sincere as you curled into the interaction, pulling up a chair close to her and pouring a glass of wine, “To use her for my own nefarious purpose,”
She frowned, clearly not in her jovial, charismatic mood, leaning back and spreading herself on the ornate garden chair.
“I want her to flourish, as you do,” You spoke as if you were intimate friends, as you seemed to have a habit of doing, “Though she is her own person, her own wolf as you might say,”
Ambessa’s eyes narrowed further, a smirk of her own forming as she sipped her drink, “You are a very..encouraging person,”
Your lips pursed in consideration, turning the words over in your mind, “I do try, I believe there is great merit to a compassionate approach,”
“Does it not ensure you are very easy to deceive? In blank belief and encouragement of all, you open yourself to many surprise attacks,”
“It’s a good job I have you here then,” You laugh again, holding her gaze, “A notorious General such as yourself, I am sure to escape with nary a scratch,”
Ambessa was rather confounded by you, elusive yet so clear. Her doubts about you were slippery, hard to catch and name, as each conversation that followed was of a simple variation. Somewhere along the way her doubt of your kindness had shifted its very attentions to you.
You were hellbent on becoming her friend and had somehow managed it. Your only error? Falling in love in the process. Ambessa seemed to speak to parts of you that you couldn’t access alone, and you felt desperate to return the favour. There were glimpses, in the late night chats and whispered quips in council meetings, of her vulnerable and battered soul. She was so restrained though, her mind pulling back as soon as you grew closer. Her emotions seemed to be the prey animal she hoped to eradicate, and she did not appreciate, or could not understand you humouring its presence.
One night, as a cool breeze shifted your lace curtains to and fro, Ambessa sat across from you in a tired state. You had heard of the catastrophic argument from both mother and child, each weaving the tale slightly differently. Their exaggerations complimented each other, allowing you to look through them and piece together the truth. The Medarda pride was a powerful thing, though it blinded them both all too frequently.
Ambessa’s hand twitched, reaching out for the wine bottle she had forgotten was empty. You took the scarred hand in your own, miscalculating her intention. She did not flinch away, though her eyes glazed with confusion. You traced shapes against her palm with your finger, muttering words of support and understanding, making her own to her faults whilst allowing room for her pain. She seemed to fight against it like a soldier fought for another inch of land, predictable and saddening all the same.
“I see you, Ambessa Medarda,” You teased, though the love was impossible to miss in your swirling eyes.
“I know,” She muttered, leaning closer to you, “That’s what I’m afraid of,”
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Patalliro! is fascinating to me because of stuff like this. It's unapologetically gay - even within its anime which aired during primetime hours in 1982 - in a way that many later BL manga would never be, like the ones from the early 2000s which would never dare to call their characters actual homosexuals. Patalliro has actually aged quite well in this regard, there's something comforting about how campy it is.
#i still dont really understand how they got away with this kind of thing honestly#female VAs i get that - but first m/m kiss in an anime in episode THREE?????#theres also the maraich/thomas episode where they are *Both* voiced by women....advanced yuri#patalliro#i love how bancorans gender expression is pretty much explicitly to attract only bishounen#you blushed - so you must not be a girl#etc#i also love how joyful it all is#theres never anything sad or tragic about being gay - only that bancoran is forced to kill the bishounen spies/assassins/etc#when bancoran finds out that gay sex feels good after demian; in the manga he is elated. its basically a positive thing#he awakens to his true power...lol#also notable is that while bishounen youth is glorified maraich is 18#this means it portrays being gay as an adult as normal; not a phase relegated to nostalgic adolescent periods of time#according to the NYT japan's psychiatric body called homosexuality a mental illness until 1995#im NOT going to say patalliro changed that or anything lmao but its just significant to me that banmara get to live their lives happily#even raise children together in the manga....???#especially contrasting that with kaze to ki no uta and other manga of the time (no shade intended)#yaoi#<- for tagging purposes#obviously it also got away with a lot by being a gag manga. but still!#months later edit: want to say im not intending to moralize BL manga from the 2000s either. like gen. no hate on them.#as a gay person i just appreciate when characters who act gay are considered gay textually#and its kind of disheartening how gay-as-identity was treated as something incredulous in those manga a lot of the time#even the mere suggestion of attraction to men as a whole and not just the other male lead...yknow#this post is meant to praise patalliro for being unique in its approach to gay content compared to other titles#ive enjoyed plenty of 2000s yaoi titles despite their shortcomings lol#joseiposting#shoujo
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Hi, I thoroughly enjoyed reading your post! 💗 It’s been quite a while since I engaged with anything related to Storm and Silence. I read the series when I was in high school. I was around 14 years old, and I had such a great time with it. Now, about ten years later, I’ve been thinking about it and decided to search for discussions. Reading through the comments here has brought back memories, but it’s also left me questioning how I now feel about the use of slurs in literature 🤔
I wonder, does your stance apply only to works on Wattpad, or does it extend to all forms of literature?
I ask this because there’s a similar critique and backlash against To Kill a Mockingbird in my country. Here, the book is being phased out of schools because of its use of the N-word. Personally, this deeply pains me because I believe To Kill a Mockingbird is an incredibly necessary book. I see literature as a mirror and a lens that reflect its time and allows us to examine those contexts critically. The N-word in To Kill a Mockingbird, for instance, is not there to glorify racism but to reveal its brutality and systemic nature in a way that provokes outrage and reflection. Yes, the N-word is undeniably offensive, but its inclusion in the book isn’t gratuitous; it serves a purpose. Harper Lee wasn’t racist—she used racist characters to shine a light on the horrifying effects of racism. Removing this book doesn’t protect students; instead, it deprives them of the chance to grapple with these issues in a safe and guided environment.
I understand that Wattpad allows authors creative liberties and is positioned more as entertainment than as a critical engagement with historical issues. And that's what you disagree with? That Wattpad authors may not always intend to educate or provoke critical thought, whereas canonical literature often seeks to do that?
As a Black South African, I also feel that our experiences with racism and with words like the N-word are not the same as those of Black Americans and dare I say it, White Americans. 👀 Our histories, cultures, and struggles are different. Personally, encountering this word in literature like To Kill a Mockingbird was an invitation to understand the weight it carries in a specific historical and cultural context. It offered opportunities to learn, empathise, and think critically, rather than turning away from it.
I understand the desire to protect young readers from harm, but I worry that in shielding them from uncomfortable realities, we’re doing more harm than good.
The answer isn’t to remove these books but to contextualize them. Pair them with works by diverse authors, especially local voices, to create a more balanced and inclusive curriculum. This way, students can engage with a variety of perspectives, all while learning to critically think about the world around them.
It’s funny how much I’ve shifted away from your initial comment on slurs in Storm and Silence 😂 but I'm really interested in the broader discussion about slurs in literature and their place in storytelling. What do you think?
One thing I'll never get over is how Storm & Silence could've easily been so much better if Rob Their(the author) wasn't afraid to actually write a compelling story.
Don't get me wrong, I adore the whole concept of '19 year old Victorian girl dresses up as a man to get a job'. But it's just so poorly written that I think about all the ways the story could be better when I'm in the bus going home from college.
I mean, that's how it is with books, they will be criticized no matter how good or how bad it may be. But then again, this is a Wattpad book. You can never expect too much from a Wattpad book. Every character feels very two dimensional after the first book that every other book after that is just plain fan-service.
The first book is genuinely good, except for the hyper feminist way Lilly is written to be. The author doesn't even bother to add conflict between any of the characters. The ONLY conflict that we ever get is Lilly arguing with Rikkard how she's capable of anything even if she's a women in every single book. It keeps going on and on like this that it just gets boring.
And the way Lilly's intelligence is suppressed makes me mad too. Like in book 3, she literally deciphers a map to find the treasure, but god forbid she recognizes her fiancé's(whether she likes him or not) initials on the waste disposal file and connect the dots on how he and her previous guy(I forgot his name) might've just disappeared. That right there could've been a good conflict. She recognizes the initials, realizes what Rikkard might've done, get angry and argue about not wanting him to interfere with it, then having to find an escape from her next fiancé and choosing to go out of town with Rikkard against her will instead of telling him why bcs she doesn't want a new waste disposal file.
Not to be mean, but the author is a man. At the end of the day, the way female characters are written by men will never be realistic. I know there might be real people out there like Lilly, but the way her "inner feminist"(I hate when she kept saying 'mY iNneR FemIniSt iS prOtEstiNg' stfu) is written truly makes me want to pull my hair out. It will never be same as writing a story from a women's perspective when you already know what it's like. I'm not saying that men are incapable of understanding the female experience, I'm saying that it's stupid and annoying when a man pretends he does.
Also the lack of historical accuracy boils my blood. Rob claims to have done thorough research on every historical details yet somehow Lilly and Rikkard goes on top of the Statue of Liberty despite the story taking place around 1840 and the statue starting its construction in 1876.
SNS was the last and final original story I've read on Wattpad. I really wish I could go back and keep myself away from that app and read an actual book. But it's the only place I could go to when I lost my sanity. Let me know how you feel about the book. I know there's barely anyone in the fandom, but please tell me your perspective.
P.S. can someone tell me where Rob used the slur. I read about many people talking about it but I cannot remember or recognize where it is.
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my controversial gw2 opinion of the day is that i actually like isgarren. dont get me wrong. i think he's objectively wrong about everything and also kind of a brat. that's the thing and the problem though. i like isgarren because he's kind of a massive whiny tantrum baby fussy drama queen.. he took brat summer and turned it into brat epoch !
#my stuff#this is a lot of tumblr friendly words to say i like him bc hes kinda a fruit btw#i do not think that he is smart either btw ☝️ book smart perhaps but nothing else#i think he's MEANT to be a really unlikeable character on purpose in a specific hammy way#like he's literally intended to be read as an interpersonally dislikeable and even interpersonally stunted kind of bookish wizard old fart#i think soto introduced him slightly weirdly bc i think. anet like#acted like we're supposed to consider him more morally grey than he actually is#but#JW SPOILERS IN PROCEEDING TAGS#i think its more obvious he's just plain not a good guy moving forward#now that their writing has found its bearings again#every other character is just like yeah this guy sucks..would be really funny if he was stuck in a torment nexus for awhile right#even the commander is like wow i feel the sudden urge to poke the bear with this guy for no reason#must be his generally dislikeable and negative aura#you could say he's morally grey ig because he technically does 'good' its just very transparent how much he sucks at it#anyways#do you think him and mabon knew each other carnally ?
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I am always like: I should really use my Tumblr instead of my locked twitter more. I need to use Tumblr like it's my only website. And then proceed to check it once every two weeks alskjdfh
#having a locked twt is great b/c i can just leave random thoughts and never have to worry abt them leaving my small circle of irl friends#but tumblr feels like a far more honest portrait of myself#and I really wanna engage with it more as a platform#but the second I try to use it for anything non-art related#i get this creeping sense of duty and guilt that i'm doing something annoying or wrong by using the website for its intended purpose#and not the one I've made up in my head which is just like#LOZ and fandom posting only#no fun allowed
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it boggles my mind that I still see reminder type posts about not consuming Harry Potter content, not because I expected everyone to agree to stop engaging but because I did sort of expect that the people engaging with hp in 2024 would at least have the decency to not grovel on the internet for random transgender bloggers to validate that they're still a good person and not transphobic for liking hp still. like these posts are not redundant they are FILLED with defensive responses and excuses for why actually its fine and its like not only can you not stop engaging with Harry Potter but you also want to be able to post about doing so non-stop and you never ever want to even see a transgender person point out that JKR is actively funding and directly influencing transphobic organizations and legislation. to the point that when someone does you are incapable of simply scrolling by because you need so badly to be reassured that this internet rando doesn't think you specifically are a bad person for doing the thing they said is bad. unreal main character syndrome. if you have committed to being an hp fan fine i am not a cop or your mom and I cannot make you do anything at all. but I am not, nor is any other trans person, going to give you 'permission' or absolve you of your own guilt for doing so. that is your problem to reconcile yourself and is not the job of random trans people. like jesus christ enough already
#good idea generator#this isnt exclusive to hp fans this is a pretty pervasive issue on this site#where someone will be like well i think x action is bad and harmful#and 10000 people will come out of the woodwork to be like well i do x action am i bad 🥺 am i a bad person 🥺#oh i have to do x action because of [extenuating circumstance obviously not intended by the op] you think im bad you think i should die???#like. ok you know when any big social movement is getting traction#you suddenly see 100 posts about how actually its okay to not do anything or say anything tumblr is escapism!!!#even though for the VAST majority of users. they are not expected to say or do anything by the ppl who follow them on tumblr#so really the purpose those posts serve is to justify legitmize and spread around the idea that you can do literally nothing ever#and still be a 'good person'. it is to assuage your own guilt#and it serves ZERO purpose other than to detract from ongoing conversations#bc if you were really serious about supporting something but being unable to help in xyz ways for various reasons#you would shut the fuck up!!!! and not post about not being able to do anything!!!#the same way that you shouldnt say that you cant donate to a fundraiser when you share it even if its true and reasonable#bc it makes other people who read that less likely to donate themselves even if they DO have the means#these tags are getting incoherent but hopefully my point gets across idk#i just feel in general we should stop begging internet strangers for absolution. youre not going to get it from there.
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Fish you are so good at building to me your the Bdubs of people I know
Pheo ;w; ty
#its odd because i generally dislike being compared to hermitcraft members#specifically when its from people who dont know me#because a lot of the time when youre being constantly compared to professional builders it can feel almost shallow as a compliment#because when random people do it theyre looking at your work and turning it into the work of another person#when its a stranger its less about what ive created and more about this other person who i may not even know#but the fact that youve been my friend and mutual for so long changes this#and also the fact that you chose bdubs as your specific link means so much to me#because hes where i get the majority of my technique and ethic from#so the compliment feels deeper#if you had said grian i probably wouldnt have been the same#partially because im pretentious as hell when it comes to him and the fact that he isnt where i draw inspiration from#and the fact that tou specified 'of the people i know' also means a lot to me#because its not putting me on any relative level compared to bdubs its just stating that my style is a sucessful reflection of sorts to his#though obv with his many years and age and technique he can build circles around me#thas not the point#on the other hand of the comparing to hc memebers thing i understand it completely#most people who see my work are very likely ti be in that fandom#and their first impression is often 'hey! this thing reminds me of other thing that i enjoy! it makes me happy!'#which is great but not really the intended purpose of the build you know#im not making it to be like other people im making it for me and to realise my creativity or whatever#i do get annoyed when people compare my jokes or my actions to youtubers though#like no sometimes things happen with unique circumstances and unique jokes#anyway not important at all#um basically pheo; thank you for this compliment it means a lot to me#i just also happen to have spent time exploring my opinions on compliments like this and how i like to be seen as an artist and this#happens to be the perfect example#and the compliment wouldnt have been as meaningful if it was coming from someone other than you#i probably looked way too deep into this but it gave me time to appreciate it#pheostag#fishasks
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what is the likelihood of dacre showing up on the st5 premiere red carpet...
#i have a feeling cuz its the final season theyre gonna invite like every person whos ever been on the show regardless of if an appearance is#made in season 5#like no way is this show ending without a big spectacle of itself be serious#and all the red carpet interviewers are gonna be jerking the duffers off live on camera#invite ME to humble their asses#this post is getting away from its intended purpose my bad#thought about the duffers for more than 2 seconds. got mad. you know how it goes
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I meant to add something onto the relevancy post:
If you're looking for relevancy? Being positive kicks being negative's ass 100% of the time.
You are going to get a lot of engagement initially with negative stuff, but it's just like real life, yeah? No one wants to hang around someone who is constantly picking fights and complaining all the time. It's normal (even cathartic) to complain about your relationship with your buddy every now and again, but if all your buddy ever does is complain about their partner? That shit is emotionally exhausting after a while.
That's why fandom presences built on negativity don't tend to have the same reach or legs as fandom presences built on positivity. People seek community and connection to be lifted up, not dragged down. If your community cannot exist without a degree of pervasive (often self-inflicted) negativity, then it is not going to be a community healthy people stick around in for very long.
I think that's something certain people don't entirely understand about the guy they're desperately trying to replicate the success of. No one who is genuinely beloved by the broader Edelgard fandom (not JUST the terminally online stan variation. People who are actually loved by the whole community) got that way by "owning the haterz" or "correcting the bad takes" or shitting on other people's favorite characters. They got their notoriety by creating Edelgard-positive content that genuinely tried to say something and was genuinely enjoyable for that subset of the fandom. And that's what they're largely remembered for, even if they, uh, might have gone off the deep end the longer this goes on.
Aaaaaand even if I don't agree with a lot of what was actually said, I can at least acknowledge that it was saying something and people liked that because it resonated with them. They weren't just picking fights, stalking, harassing, and generally regurgitating the same chewed up shit points over and over and vomiting it back on anyone unlucky enough to come within spitting distance.
#ALSO not to say I haven't participated in this or I'm immune from my own criticism here#Like I use this blog a lot less specifically because aspects of it do genuinely make me feel drained and it's not that fun#And to some degree yes no matter how hard I try to keep it isolated some of that negativity does spill out into the world#But I created this blog as a container away from my main (positive) fandom presence#Not as my ONLY fandom presence#And it has been serving its purpose exactly as I'd intended#for the most part lol
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Various images from the past year or so... posting my evil little photo diary collections once again..
#image commentary in tags once again since they don't allow captions anymore and I feel weird using the alt text for that --#1. one of the billions of pastel sky photos I take and post constnaly because I'm obsessed with the sky lol 2. I got#a gardening mama (like cooking mama) game from a friend a few years ago and don't really play it that much since it's not#as interesting to me in some ways but.. I do like the graphics a lot. It'd be cool if in real life when you did something correclty a bunch#of little rainbows and sparkles appeared in front of you lol. 3. Everyone makes fun of me but this is how I like to have sandwiches#.. basically a salad in between two pieces of bread. barely any meat and cheese but then like 2 inches of lettuce and tomatoes and stuff..#half an entire head of iceberg lettuce on one sandwich... the Cronch... 4. Weird little light colored spider doing a split on the netting#of this strawberry garden. 5. ice creambe... 6. tiny tiny babey strawberry son.. 7. Went to someone's house and they#had this weird channel (I guess for halloween?) where it was like 8 different channels playing at once and you could watch them all#simultaneously (I don't think this is the intended purpose of it I think it's more just to show what's currently airing)#but it's kind of surreal and interesting.. with how on tiktoc and stuff they have those weird sensory overhwleming#videos where its' like 3 videos playing at once with unrelated audio. I wonder if one day people will just watch 8 screens#of tv at once like this after everyone offically has only a 2 second attention span lol. To me its kind of hard to pay attention#to but is an interesting excercise I guess. Like it was a cool challenge to try to watch it all at the same time#8. THE temperature indoors at NIGHT during the late summer........... AUGH.....#9. a pleasant little breakfast of scrambled eggs with green onion. baked salmon. sauteed corn. and a few almonds pecans and pineapple#leftover from making smoothies with it the day before. I eat basically the same rotation of things for every single meal every single#day (like literally I have had the same exact breakfast for about 2 years with zero variation except for special occasion) so whenever I do#actually have the energy to make something different or I have some interesting food for some special occasion reason. I feel more#inclined to document it lol.. like.. oooooo...eggs.. Which are normal to some people. but to me it's like.. wow... revolutionary.. so#different from my usual Scheduled Bland Stomach Problems Safety Gruel lol.#photo diary#spiders tw
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help my brain is stuck in i want to watch something i've never seen before but anything new i could watch sounds not good mode.
#leaning towards. le otto montagne rewatch. because it MAY put me to sleep but also it might upset me#like martin eden which i feel like i watched too recently but it probably will work for its intended purpose (knocking me the fuck out)#(in a good way. that movie makes me sleepy)#neon has thoughts#could watch. grand budapest hotel. want to watch something familiar unfamiliar#i.e ive seen it before i just don't remember all the plot points so i haven't seen it enough for it to have imprinted onto my brain. which#is unfortunately most of my usual go to movies#might be a martin eden rewatch kind of day after all
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i have complex feelings about it but in td when karkat is actually like fully integrated, he is much more static because the story is... Less directly affecting him? hes there as Dave's Boyfriend largely
#Shitpost#it doesnt help that like plot wise hes literally an accessory#and im sort of. Like. Its On Purpose?#i feel a little bad about it lmao but in a way its also like. To me.#like. How its going to be when a character (metagamer nonetheless) ends up on an adventure that wasnt intended for him#hes literally Not Supposed To Be There#and hes only there because 1. Actual Coincidence 2. His Aspect (which is used to foil him and Hal)#and 3. Because i realized Dave would need a support and Karkat made the most sense for reasons 1 and 2#because if i had no karkat dave would struggle way more in ways that dont assist the story#In my original concepts i was going to have a 'this universes karkat' but doubling the trolls was going to be too much work#so i just uh. erased them instead and decided no trolls in side A#what happened to them isnt the story and i dont want to make room for something unnecessary#(see: me keeping calliopes game offscreen even though i do know it)#(Shes playing darts by herself :) )#Anyways. Karkat is Important he just is like a secondary cast member#And sometimes i feel bad about that but if he wasnt the story would get too crazy lol#and its already too huge haha#Not tagging with the fic tag because idk
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i hope they change dispel arrows at some point,, i feel like they need a serious buff? i was hunting a proudhorn with two other people and we all had dispel arrows (which we used the entire time - no one switched to fine), and that thing was still teleporting... took us from statue garden all the way to the flooded wall... i'm okay with the dispel arrows stopping the magic for a short amount of time and not forever, but they literally felt useless the entire time. i get that they want us to hunt them together and the dispel arrows being too beefy would encourage solo hunting them but like,,, they shouldn't feel useless???
#has anyone else felt like dispel arrows are a waste to make?#like.. it didn't immediately teleport and then it did and kept doing it the rest of the hunt#like im sorry devs but your fancy anti magic arrows shouldnt feel like normal arrows for 99% of the hunt#like i want to clarify - it didnt teleport for One second and then immediately did and kept doing it#again im totally cool with the effect not lasting forever but i do think it should last longer than it does now#especially when everyone is shooting it with anti magic arrows and it still does its magic? cringe.#im sure there are more important things for them to work on but i feel like more people would be inclined to hunt-#-proudhorns and azures if the dispel arrows actually did something#like i dont know if its a bug but i hit two different azures with a dispel and both immediately cloned#i literally thought it was a bug at first#and maybe it is?? but i also dont know??? is it an intended feature for the dispel arrows to just not work????#does anyone have some insight on this... is this on purpose... have the devs said anything about it...#im still going to hunt the magic animals because i like hunting but ik there are a lot of players who arent going to bother#because its just not worth it#and slightly unrelated but i do feel like the antlers and tail should always drop for the proudhorn and azure#if we're going to go through the pain of being run in circles for these things i think we should get guaranteed good drops aldhg#its kind of insane that we dont already actually#like im willing to trade less meat and fur if it means guaranteed antler and tail
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no because how can maki catch a bullet point blank and then be slower than... a punch
I mean she. she's a sorcerer. clearly some of what she's got going on is Sorcerer Rules Don't Abide By Normal Physics.
this is. about as much a gotcha. as going "well what the FUCK is QUANTUM TUNNELING then a BOWLING BALL can't just DECIDE THAT IT CAN TELEPORT THROUGH A WALL, BOWLING BALLS DON'T TELEPORT THROUGH WALLS TAKE THAT" well in the case that the bowling ball is the size of a proton it. uh. can bc quantum rules apply instead of classical rules, and it's where they interact at the boundaries that you get weird cool shit and fun technology and realize just how bullshit our world actually is
she's got some Sorcerer Stuff going on, the Sorcerer Physics applies there, whatever's happening can't be perfectly modeled by a classical understanding of the world, it's not that much weirder to catch a bullet and not a punch than for bowling balls to randomly teleport through walls
#and I *KNOW* that she does not have enough cursed energy to really be technically considered a sorcerer on her own#but heavenly restriction IS sorcery bullshit so it gets to fall under sorcery physics rules#also y'all I'm mostly here to rant about physics and have a good time and like.#mildly feel like world that don't go hard sci fi with how their magic system works but also don't fill in that corner#leave a sandbox and that sandbox is where I like to play!!! bc I find the implications COOL!!!!!#there is nothing I'd love to be more than a physicist in a world that has just discovered magic going#'okay how the FUCK do we model this and does this make a universal theory of everything more possible or less'#'how many more fucking symmetry groups do we have to impose to try to get Magic Force in there too'#like! I'm just here to have fun!#and one of the things about having physics fun in a system that wasn't designed to be hard physics is that you're playing with hypothetical#and DEFINITELY not canon nor are you using canon for its intended purpose#but it's still fun!
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Bluey in the genocide by Omar Sakr (posted January 2, 2024)
I am maddened by how apt it is that in trying to find this poem—a stellar example of how people gloss over the presence of politics “even�� in children’s television programming—I kept running into articles with headlines like “inside News Corp’s Bluey genocide beat-up” and “Iconic Bluey cricket episode is accused of promoting ‘genocide’ by Muslim poet Omar Sakr” and “Poet Omar Sakr Alleges ‘Bluey’ episode ‘Cricket’ Genocide Themed.’ There is no accusation; there is acknowledgement. Sakr has not screeched onto the page with a list of grievances. He has rather gently described watching a cartoon with his son, a cartoon they were both enjoying until the moment where his experience of the world, the various lens through which he sees and has been seen, creates a pause of realization. It’s a realization that would fly over the heads of those who do not share those lens, who are free of the burden of carrying all of the extra meaning. Rusty’s dad could have been anywhere, away and missing these moments of learning and bonding for any reason, but a creative choice was made for deployment to be that reason—and in that revelation many viewers probably worried for the pup, taking in the notion that his father may not return. The intention with the storyline—I gather—is to provide acknowledgement and understanding to children of deployed parents, as well as describe simply to their peers those particular circumstances. This scenario invites me to ask further questions: why was the parent deployed? Where was he deployed to? On either side of this equation, how many other children are cleaved from their parents by governments and the notions of “duty” and “just following orders”? How many lives are destroyed by imperialism and so-called “peacekeeping”? Asking these questions takes nothing away from feeling sympathy for Rusty’s situation; it broadens the scope. What Sakr’s poem does is quietly turn your face to see the rest of it.
Whether you acknowledge it or not, whether it affects you or not, whether you’re just watching things for escapism or you’ve turned your brain off or you’re not paying attention, every creative endeavor is informed by some aspect of politics both personal and broad. Nobody is forcing you to think about it, to analyze, to identify every theme and potential piece of commentary. But those things are still there, and they tug at the strings of our experience. Being able to overlook or ignore those things can be part of our experience, and merely having them made visible to you is not an accusation or a condemnation. Seeing them may provoke feelings and questions. If those feelings are mostly defensive, there is an option other than fighting someone else’s reality: consider how those feelings and questions can help you see things to which you are not ordinarily subjected and, in doing so, learn something.
everything has political content. sorry. theres some guys who get really really angy when you say this but its true
#look I’m not an expert and i don’t have all the answers#and i don’t always think this deeply about stuff either!#but when i do i tend towards analysis and rambling so go right ahead and scroll by because I’m not scolding anyone#I’m doing poetry student things#i was accused of reading too much into things when i once offered up a gentle analysis of the character Chandler Bing on Friends once#but there’s a wealth of things to be uncovered and said about attitudes towards sexually ‘ambiguous’ men in the ‘90s#and how in making these milquetoast ‘haha he’s probably gay’ jokes they were also erasing bisexuality#and of course i think about these things because I am bisexual and i have loved bisexual men that struggled with their identity#so it’s only natural that i have something to say about it#and ordinarily i probably wouldn’t think much about children’s programming#i did get really pissed off when HBO acquired Sesame Street and put a paywall between its purpose and intended audience#and I’ve thought a lot about the impact of Warner Brothers cartoons as something I was just plonked in front of as a child#…and I do call Paw Patrol ‘Fash Pups’#okay so I think about it a lot#and i want to talk about these things but then I’m accused of taking things too seriously#when i just want to talk! i just want to discuss! i want to see the world around me and consider all of its facets!#even when i feel too dumb to really be putting an opinion out there because boy howdy i feel like an idiot most days!#anyway thinking’s free so I’m going to do it regardless#thank you for reading or not#go follow Omar Sakr#Omar Sakr#poetry#politics! politics everywhere!
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