#and 3. Because i realized Dave would need a support and Karkat made the most sense for reasons 1 and 2

[eyepatchdate]

i have complex feelings about it but in td when karkat is actually like fully integrated, he is much more static because the story is... Less directly affecting him? hes there as Dave's Boyfriend largely

[paintmelikeoneofyourfrenchpoodle]

((Alright, so this is probably way overdo.

Why the heck Jade gets so weird about sex sometimes:

Alright, so this is going to be a little ridiculously long, but if you want to know? I’m putting it under the cut. Also, TW: there is a brief mention of abuse. Not of her, but its relevant. I’ll also put another warning when that part is about to come up. 

Okay so, I’m going to start of with some context. So for anyone who might not know, this Jade is pretty old. I started rping her as her back in… I think late December of 2015 or early January of 2016? Either way, it was a few months before Homestuck actually ended. At this point obviously we had no idea how it was going to end, or what was going to happen to the characters at that point. Heck, if I remember correctly GIGAPAUSE, or whatever it was called, was still going on.

Anyway, didn’t know they were going basically jump start civilization and jump into the future, that’s for sure. So, not knowing how things were going to turn out for Jadey girl here, I basically made some educated guesses based on what we knew at the time, and mixed in my own ideas and head-canons to create the timeline this Jade now exists in. This included the loss of the meteor lab, building a new civilization from the ground up (and actually sticking around to help build it), and having everyone live in a fairly small, tight knit community. Mind you, some minor things have changed to reflect the retcon John did, but mostly I’ve kept things fairly the same.

So what does this mean for Jade or have anything to do with her sexuality? We’ll get to that, but I’m going to prelude things by saying it isn’t just sex she gets worked up about. It’s relationships and intimacy in general, and there isn’t really one set reason why. There is a gosh darn list.

1) She doesn’t have the best social skills. Growing up on an island with the only human contact being through the internet isn’t exactly the best way to nurture healthy emotional development. To top it all off, she spent those 3 years on the ship basically alone thinking she killed John and Davesprite. She isn’t a complete social ignoramus obviously, but she has her awkward moments and she KNOWS it. Which, can give her some major social anxiety in general. And as far as relationships, even friendships go, she is constantly worried she is going to screw things up. She also just wasn’t used to people in general for a good while. 

Mind you, it’s almost been 10 years since the end of the game now from her perspective so she has improved drastically, but there are still some hangups that she has. For example, she doesn’t handle crowds well considering she was so used to being alone. Can Town is full mostly people she is familiar with and the population is only 1,000ish, so she is mostly in her comfort zone still even during busier occasions. However, notice Jake and her chose to move outside of town when they got the chance? There you go. 

2) She isn’t used to physical touch. Which… is really sad considering how much she actually loves it. Again, this is something that has improved over the years, but she still doesn’t like being messed with by people she doesn’t know.

3) She honestly thinks that in the end she will end up alone. Jade, hasn’t exactly had the best luck with romance. Remember, her timeline is fairly small, and pretty much everyone she might be compatible with already paired up with someone else. To top it off, she had (and still kind of has) a massive crush on her timeline’s Dave, and built up a lot of false hope that something might eventually happen between the two of them thanks to John telling her about Davesprite and Davepeta kissing her that one time. Yeah, that didn’t happen. He ended up getting with Karkat finally when they were around 22, and while she is happy for them and supports them in any way she can, it kind of broke her heart. 

She also hasn’t had the best luck with people she’s been interested in online/from other timelines either. Usually, by the time she realizes she might be interested in someone they end vanishing, dating someone else, or they actually… end up being kinda awful people she shouldn’t have liked in the first place. (*cough*Venom*cough*) Also, she has a habit of dwelling on the whole “space players are destined to be alone” thing from time to time. Over the years she has genuinely started to think that she just isn't cut out for being anyones partner romantic/sexual/otherwise, and that people aren’t ever going to be interested in her for whatever reason. She’s built up this shell around herself, this illusion that she has come to terms with things, so that when that eventuality happens, she’ll maybe not be hurt so badly. So when someone shatters that illusion? She panics and gets flustered, and remember… she is related to these guys:

(Mind you Jake had plenty of reason to act like that, but it was the only one I could find with a quick google search.)

But yeah, I think big reactions kind of runs in her family.

4) She’s inexperienced. Three times as of this point. Yep. Thats it. That’s all she has done. Ever. Don’t get her wrong, she has really enjoyed it and really gets into things once she was able to get over the jitters. Plus, she was the one that asked for it each time. But she doesn’t like not knowing what she is doing, and it wigs her out because she doesn’t want to mess things up. Also fun fact, she’s never been on a non pale date before. Just throwing that in there.

5) The whole being part dog thing. As much as she loves being part canine, she actually can be real self conscious about it at times. Also, she *hates* how people will sometimes look at her as a fetish, and gets worried that if someone is interested in her its because she is a dog girl, and not because of who she is. She does enjoy indulging in her dog side (girl likes being pet), but she wants to make sure someone to see her as herself first and foremost. Being part dog should just be a bonus.

6) She’s a bit of a hopeless romantic. She wants to actually have a connection with people, and honestly is that so wrong? One night stands, flings, or casual whatevers aren’t completely out of the question, but at least give her a chance to be friends with you first geez. 7) She’s scared of being hurt. This is kind of caused by a combination of things up top, but she genuinely is afraid of the idea of being fucked and dumped. She’s got enough emotional issues as is, and does not need that on her conscious as well. Getting intimate with her in any way can take a lot of trust depending on the person. Additionally… 

*Okay, so here is the part I warned about up top.* She has had far too many friends who have been taken advantage of and abused. There have been several people that she has been close to over the years that have been seriously messed up by their partners. Jade’s smart and she knows it, but she also knows she can be really naive about certain things as well. It’s kind of the cherry on top of all her paranoia.

Okay bad part over

So yeah! This is ridiculously long, but there you go. I feel like it is important to note that Jade does really enjoy being with someone intimately and/or sexually given the chance. It just can take some work getting her out of her shell. It’s something she knows she needs to work on, and would like to. However, she hasn’t really ever had many opportunities to.

Also, her behaviors really only apply to herself for the most part. She might get a little embarrassed by other people talking about their own stuff from time to time, but she actually can get a real kick out of it sometimes as well. Has been known to have lengthy conversations with people about their own preferences, sexual interests, habits, ect. She will even tease other people about it! It’s when it gets flipped back on her somehow that she starts getting worked up. Heck, she is normally fine with people getting her flustered because she *knows* a lot of her own behavior is ridiculous, and that when people pick at her it is usually harmless friend banter.  She also usually knows when people are being truly malicious towards her and WILL defend herself. Don’t think she is a pushover just because she looks like she is an easy target. This girl has some bite alongside that bark.

Anyway, there is probably some more I could add to this but again it is stupid long at this point. I hope this isn’t too confusing and explains a few things.

[theorynexus]

Double Fives are first, today-- or two together-arranged, 55, I should say.

Also, we’re at Meat 30.   It would seem Jake, Karkat, and Dave are spending time together, this time.

Oh gosh...   I hope Karkat wasn’t made to endure that, considering he supposedly only ever left his house once per year, even if that might be a hyperbole. @w@            His interests and Jake’s are strongly opposed on that from, it would seem.   Thus, it might have been bad for deal-making, for reasons of souring Karkat’s mood; regardless, let’s see whether their other interests might align, or some non-detrimental arrangement (for Karkat, but hopefully for Jake too) might be found between them.

Ouch.    On the other hand, at least Karkat seems to have (likely) become more comfortable with outward signs of his blood’s color.   I doubt he would have failed to realize that it likely gives that impression, even if he originally intended it to be a sign of his closeness with Dave. He almost certainly would have semi-paranoid-ly weighed the pros and cons for his emotional well-being and/or all other consequences involved, and only come to the decision that the suit was acceptable for him to wear after deciding both connotations were acceptable.

Honestly, all things considered, Jake is very much correct. Considering the boost from all his rungs on the escheladder, there’s no way his physical capabilities should be that bad.  ... Though Jake’s estimates probably would be wrong for any other sort of being that was traveling with him. I don’t think his expectations are probably all that well gauged to the individuals in his company. It’s not that I think poorly of his intelligence, mind you. It’s just that Jake can be... rather oblivious, sometimes, if memory serves.

Yeah, his judgment is totally based on his own experience. Still, though, even coated in like 5 layers of fur, Karkat shouldn’t be that worn out. At least, from a world-building perspective, this doesn’t contradict the established rule that-- oh, wait, that was ghosts changing to fit the person’s perceptions, not God Tier players’ appearances, wasn’t it?  Hmmm.

Yes. Karkat’s diplomatic skills are impeccable.  There is absolutely nobody that can beat this guy when it comes to maintaining good relationships and reputations among the important powers of the world--- nobody!

I would suspect that Alt!Calliope is being petty, here, but I think it’s just Karkat being so tired that his coordination has dropped a bit.   (Also, this is honestly rather cute, and I appreciate the opportunity to giggle at it.)

Frack, Dave is good at bringing things up in the most awkward way possible. Also, that Karkat only estimates himself as being able to beat 99% of all humans in a “threshecution threshing match” is both quite comical and somewhat sad. ._. One Percent is a whole lot of people.

***facepalms with the greatest of groans***    SHE REALLY SHOULD FRICKING NOT!!!                        (Internet freedom for all!)   That said:  GAH, Dave, are you trying to sabotage Karkat’s chances, here? On the other hand: Maybe this propensity for blunt, careless words is one of the reasons that he decided he didn’t want to run for President, himself.   If so, good on him, I guess, for knowing himself that well.

( I will say, though, that that was honestly a nice segue, despite the fact that he sortof botched the lead-up to this via his rudeness.    Karkat gets a pass, though, because everyone knows he’s crude, and that’s part of the appeal.)

The real question is:  Are these campaign dollars as in a certain allocated amount that is allowed for each candidate, or money which was donated to the campaign by those who support them and/or Dave/Karkat?  That is a pretty important distinction, politically.  Not that either will likely be addressed and/or matter directly to the outcome of the race, probably. Oh, and those adds sound incredibly silly. I am not 100% sure that they will actually in all likelihood be effective, but they sure do sound comic-(sans)-ical. On the other hand:  Jake seems to be trying to mentally suppress what’s happening to him, probably due to his feelings toward Jane.   Welp.   :|

This is a very complicated issue, and for the sake of not offending either side, I shall choose to remain silent on the real world matter at hand, here.  On the other hand, I love the way that Karkat is just like, “SHUT UP, ALREADY.”   XD

Reminds me of Caliborn.     Indeed, that is definitely the reason why such committees are actually put into place (other than the compelling economic reasons incentives).    Doesn’t mean that they actually succeed in doing so perfectly, however.    It just makes it a grey “I guess maybe they were involved,” regardless of whether the person actually suggested such adds ought go into effect or not. Buuuuut... I’m going to refrain from pushing my promised non-commentary further than that-- and only did comment with this because of its relevance to Jake’s thought process.

It seems that Karkat agrees with my assessment of this matter.  Also, Alt!Calliope sure is quite sassy, compared to the grim and highly reserved person I thought she was. I wonder if it’s because she’s been watching essentially television for eons in order to properly understand humanity+maybe the trolls or whatever, or if it’s because she’s doing it on accident, as was my initial guess/impression, as related earlier in my liveblogs.

That’s not the point, Dave. The point is that, for one, it probably makes the audience think of you as irresponsible; secondly, it wastes the most precious resource in politics: the citizens’ limited attention spans; finally, it may actually make the two of you come off as being condescending and/or not having any actual idea what you’re talking about, which would be absolutely horrible for your chances, come election time.    While campaigns can indeed turn around in the latter months of election season, first impressions are also very important!

That is a very interesting point/question. And very ironic for him to ask; not that Dave actually can’t be properly understood through his layers of irony-- but rather, while he does indeed have a talent for that, his other qualities obscure it so badly as to make it seem quite unremarkable and hidden. And there Dave goes again, saying “thats basically true [sic.]”.   Magnificent. ***will not touch the matter of how straight-forward Dirk is***

...     Man.  Hopefully, this will serve as a lesson to the both of them.    Jake’s reaction is so bloody on the point, though. @w@

I do honestly appreciate that too.  Wow, though, he is being surprisingly civil and respectful as a result of this.  It shouldn’t honestly be a surprise, considering who Jake is.  It’s just... wow. I really appreciate the breath of fresh air.

Yeeeeesss!!!~    <3       I love everything about this that follows!    While he can be quite oblivious at times, I have always thought that Jake’s intelligence was top-notch, and I quite appreciate his flexing it, as well as that wonderfully noted breath of FREEDOM whizzing into his sails!

Boooooo!!!~     I really quite appreciate the correct and excellent display of entomological knowledge, here, but DANG, if Dirk isn’t a slimy piece of garbage, sometimes!     I mean, my gosh, the sociopathic logic, here.  It’s horrific! As for Jake:  I am very proud of him, and appreciate his very appropriate question. Everyone should ask the qualities that politicians bring to the table, policy-wise, and their (+ dis-)advantages--- not just how charismatic they are. Of course, such a statement is stating the obvious. ‘s still good to see it in practice. ... Wow, I really love Alt!Calliope’s sass. So much.

HECK YES! :’D

***grooooaaan***    

FINALLY, CERTAINTY!!!

Aside from his lack of attraction for her, which says nothing of importance, I do in fact agree with Karkat, here.  This is essentially the equivalent of the moment when the United States switched to the Constitution, and the country absolutely needed a Washington.  If Adams had actually been elected, instead of getting the second-highest sum of votes, then both the contry and the entire world could have turned out quite differently.  I, too, do  believe that Crocker could be reasonably said to have a fair chance at acting as a President who doesn’t really shake things up too terribly, and actually manages to set a perfectly fine, perhaps above average standard for Presidents to come.��  There are, however, certain points in history which require great leaders if things are going to pan out well in the long-term. Crocker just presents far too many potential problems while not offering enough in the way of positives for me to give a strong endorsement of her, despite my desire to see a female president eventually take office in the United States’ equivalent of the station she and Karkat are competing over.

(SUPPORT KARKAT FOR HIS BETTER APPRECIATION OF FUNDAMENTAL PHILOSOPHICAL ORDERS OF IMPORTANCE.)

Yeeeeaaaahhh...   She was already quite twisted up (read: pained) inside during the session as a result of her concern for maintaining appearances and manipulating peoples’ perceptions of her, unless my memory is horrible in this particular act of dredging up long-ago readings’ implications, so I could certainly see that growing to be a problem as she grew up.    I’d sortof hoped that that would cease to be so much of an issue, after their session was won, considering the rewards involved/gained as a result of that.    :/

...    Yeah, that is a good deal of whiplash. I am honestly pained.

Dangit, I was so swept up in my spiel about the direct political consequences of that decision/strategy that I forgot to emphasize the very obvious danger of it actually alienating Jake from her!

***sobs***   I am so proud of him!    (Though this is not exactly the best reason for choosing one’s political decisions, I can definitely get behind the idea of him striving for independence from that manipulative cur.) 

What Dave said, but less profanity-laced! Also:   Am I incorrect in remembering that God Tier players past a certain Tier are able to wield any weapon they desire, regardless of whether they have a       Kind Abstratus of the appropriate sort in their strife specibus?  That could become relevant, some time in the near future.

[journeysintowebcomics]

Homestuck Liveblog #187

UPDATE 187: Love Confession

Last time Dirk took back the narrative, and Jade was knocked out for months. Also, Jane won the election, it’s a victory for the neoliberal austerity measures. Viva la Crocker! So what now? Let’s see.

We make a quick stop back at Rose’s apartment. She understandably wants to pack a few things before we leave this planet forever.

...okay, the update has barely started and there’s already some big news. So Dirk’s leaving the planet with Rose? Why? Is this an important part of his assimilation plan? Or is he doing this just to spite Kanaya, because he clearly has dedicated a lot of effort to making her run in circles? Dirk, explain!

She’ll have to leave her current body soon if she’s going to survive the absolute realization of her Ultimate Self. The new body I’ve made for her won’t have much use for her usual ensembles. That’s all I was saying.

The first thought I had was that she was going to ascend and turn into some kind of metaphysical existence, then I read the part about ‘the new body I’ve made for her’. Could it be a robot? I remember Dirk is superb with robotics. Pretty creepy of him to shove Rose’s consciousness into a robot, really. Kanaya isn’t going to be happy at all with this.

At least there’s still enough Rose in that head she wants to pick up stuff because of the memories. There’s still hope if she’s taken away from Dirk, perhaps? Hard to know. Rose hardly will be safe as long as Dirk has control over the narration, anyway.

Apparently Dirk knows nothing about jewelry, because he calls a necklace a ‘rock rope’. I know it’s unlikely the version of Earth he came from had any use for jewelry given...well...he was one of the two humans that remained alive and also everything was ruinous and gone, but seriously, Dirk, pay attention, haha! Rock rope, seriously...

I expect at least an aggravated retort, but nothing comes.

I glance back and see that her eyes have grown glassy and distant, like two round-cut amethysts. Her smile seems due less to fondness than stupefaction. The circles under her eyes are dark, and her head is cushioned on an arm bent beneath it. Keeping her eyes trained on me seems to be the only energy she’s able to expend anymore. The omniscience sickness is wreaking havoc on her. I should hurry up.

I’m glad I never had to feel whatever she’s going through. Not everyone can be built like me. It just means I carry a greater responsibility to take care of those more fragile. Especially the ones most important to me.

It sounds like Rose would have been going through a lot of trouble even if Dirk hadn’t been messing around with her head, but nothing of what he has done is good for her. Since she’s not in any condition to make sure Dirk picks up the right things, he just shoves everything in a bag or something and calls it a day.

ROSE: Are you sure Kanaya is going to be ok with this?

She’s so far gone she can’t even tell Kanaya of course wouldn’t be okay with this. Damn, Rose, this epilogue hasn’t been kind to you at all. First it makes you omniscient and have killer migraines, now it’s drying your brain like a raisin so maybe you can be shoved into a robot while you’re being taken out of the planet to who knows where. Then again, who has this epilogue been kind to?

Dirk states he’ll make Kanaya understand, by which I imagine he means he’ll make her go around the Earth as if she was playing Where in the World is Rose Lalonde. Given how Kanaya won’t accept anything that isn’t Rose being freed, talking to her won’t be an option.

Speaking of Kanaya, she’s currently rushing towards the apartment, possibly having noticed Rose is there, and stop to take out her phone and plan what she’ll say to Dirk.

Is she sure she’s not misunderstanding something? Could she have misread the signals, or falsely assigned nefarious intent to a perfectly innocent series of events?

Honestly at this point I doubt anything of what Dirk has said to her can be construed as a ‘perfectly innocent series of events’. I mean, almost all of it has been left up to imagination, but Dirk already admitted he’s okay with messing around with Kanaya, so I doubt he has even pretended to make it look like this isn’t a kidnapping.

By now it’s pretty clear where there’s orange text there’ll be gaslighting. He takes advantage of his narrative powers to fill Kanaya with doubts and make her think she’s misinterpreting so many things. He’s even making her doubt of maybe being with her is good for Rose. It gets to the point where she tries to call Rose again and, this time, Dirk lets her answer, most likely because he knows he has managed to get the reactions and feelings he wanted her to feel.

KANAYA: Rose Its Okay

KANAYA: I Know Everything

ROSE: You... you do?

KANAYA: Yes

KANAYA: I Understand Whats Going On Now

KANAYA: I Just Want You To Know

KANAYA: How Happy You Made Me

ROSE: Oh, Kanaya...

KANAYA: I Wont Be Long

KANAYA: I Just Need To Say A Couple Things

KANAYA: While I Can

KANAYA: Before I Get Too Emotional About This

KANAYA: I Finally Get It

KANAYA: I Know You And He Belong Together

KANAYA: I Really Hope You Will Both Be Happy

KANAYA: Wherever Youre Going And Whatever You Decide To Do

KANAYA: I Will Always Be Thinking Of You

KANAYA: And Be Grateful For The Life We Had Together

ROSE: I...

ROSE: I’ll always remember you, Kanaya.

ROSE: Thank you so much for understanding.

And with this the path is clear and Kanaya won’t interfere anymore. Dirk has once again gotten away with whatever he’s trying to do. Congratulations, Dirk. Now what? He takes the phone to speak to her. Now that Kanaya isn’t upset and raring to rescue Rose, they have a short conversation.

DIRK: You’ve probably heard by now that Jade is sick.

DIRK: In a coma or something? She’s in the hospital.

KANAYA: Yes

DIRK: I’ve got an antidote for that. Medicine of sorts.

DIRK: If you give it to her, it should wake her up almost immediately.

DIRK: I left it here on the counter in your apartment.

I sure as hell don’t trust anything Dirk can give them. I’m almost certain that supposed antidote or medicine is none of that, and will make her worse. What’s more, won’t this make them suspicious? This would certainly show Dirk knows more about what happened to Jade than what he has told them. Heck, as I mentioned last update, this isn’t the first time he has used tranquilizers. Someone should have been able to make the connection, no?

Dirk sedates Rose with his trademark horse tranquilizers and takes her away. Also...

It slips my mind to bring along her bag of stuff.

I find that impossible to believe. No way Dirk just forgot, he intentionally left that behind, Mr. Multitasking, the guy Jane said would be unlikely to forget even little details.

Back at Dave and Karkaroni’s home, they still were in denial about their defeat in the political world, and now are watching Jane’s inauguration. This is such a bad spectacle for them Dave immediately proposes to get drunk. He’s down with alcoholism now. Oh boy. He also has been wondering for a while if there was anything they could have done different that could have led to their victory. Hardly, as Jake’s endorsement was going to be the cornerstone of their victory, but he still wonders that.

DAVE: i just keep imagining what wouldve happened if that absurd rube goldberg machine of life ruining humiliation had been stopped at any point

DAVE: maybe just being backstabbed by his endorsement alone was something we couldve recovered from with some rigorous counter campaigning

DAVE: but what if i had been fast enough to cut him off before hed even said anything

DAVE: what if i hadnt accidentally fallen on him on the stage when i was rushing over there to stop him

DAVE: what if he hadnt freaked out like i set off fireworks next to a nam vet and started trying to fucking scrum me

DAVE: what if id just backed away from his punch with my legs like a normal person instead of warping the flow of time to escape causing him to become so startled he shit his pants

DAVE: what if i hadnt gotten so visibly grossed out by the smell that even the people watching it on tv could tell what had happened

DAVE: what if he hadnt started sobbing when the audience in the front rows started throwing up

DAVE: what if wed had better security and stopped that lady from running onstage during the fracas and announcing that jake has been dodging paying child support for their 3 kids

Ah.

...

You know, I’m not really a fan of Jake. He’s okay as a character, but I don’t like him that much. Still, I keep having the impression his entire existence in Homestuck for quite a while is to be the author’s punching bag. The guy can’t have any dignity, can he? That aside, Dirk wasn’t in charge of the narrative back then because he was busy ogling over John and Terezi’s heartfelt conversations, so all that happened without his intervention. Poor Jake...

Also, so many people are very into getting Karkaroni and Dave together. While I like that thought, it feels rather invasive of everyone to be so invested in it. At this rate they’ll make the relationship fail before it has even started.

Karkaroni is a bit relieved he didn’t win, but...after the humiliation of losing to anyone in such a public manner I imagine he’s not going to be thrilled with the attention. Even if he’s loved by the public it still will get some comments and words of support, and he’s not the type to take those things quietly. Good thing he almost doesn’t leave the hive.

If Karkat had anything resembling a spine, he’d turn to Dave with those big, sparkling shoujo eyes and finally open his tsundere heart to consummating their painfully obvious and mutually reciprocated passion

How quaint, my eyes somehow went blind momentarily as soon as the words ‘sparkling shoujo eyes’ were said in reference to Karkaroni. What a curious phenomenon.

Somehow, trying to manipulate Dave into confessing his feelings towards Karkaroni is the line Dirk refuses to cross. Really? That’s your line in the sand? Okay then. So he’s going to let these two handle things their way, although with some prodding via narrative, I suppose. Oh, that’s what this page will be about! I see! Alright, continue.

Karkaroni begins by thanking Dave for everything.

KARKAT: EVEN IF WE DIDN’T WIN, I’M GLAD WE TRIED.

KARKAT: I’M GLAD WE WENT THROUGH THIS TOGETHER.

DAVE: me too

KARKAT: MORE THAN ANYTHING, I... YOU...

KARKAT: YOU BELIEVE IN ME IN A WAY NOBODY EVER HAS BEFORE.

KARKAT: MORE THAN I’VE EVER BEEN ABLE TO BELIEVE IN MYSELF.

Aw, that’s sweet! He really appreciates the support and it’s easy for him to believe Dave means everything he says. When anyone else tells him they like and support him it feels like condescending kindness, but it’s different with Dave. That’s what Karkaroni is saying.

KARKAT: YOU’RE ON MY LEVEL. AND I’M ON YOURS.

KARKAT: I BELIEVE THAT YOU SEE ME IN FRONT OF YOU THE WAY I ACTUALLY AM, FOR BETTER OR WORSE, AND STILL LIKE ME ANYWAY.

KARKAT: SO EVEN THOUGH IT’S STILL HARD FOR ME TO BELIEVE IN MYSELF A LOT OF THE TIME,

KARKAT: I BELIEVE IN YOU, SO I DON’T NEED TO.

DAVE: so what youre saying is you believe in me who believes in you

They’re kindred spirits, pretty much. Even if they don’t get together, they’re likely to be good friends for a very long time, if not forever. That’ll do them both some good, especially in these coming times of bad economy and neoliberal austerity measures. Besides, without Jade messing around with ridiculous threesome thirst, things are bound to be less tense around here. The future is...not looking bright, but at least they’ll have each other as support.

KARKAT: YEAH, KIND OF?

KARKAT: FUCK, MAN. THAT’S KIND OF DEEP.

DAVE: i know

KARKAT: SO, YEAH.

KARKAT: THAT’S WHAT I’VE NEVER REALLY FELT BEFORE.

KARKAT: AND I’M GLAD YOU’RE...

KARKAT: THAT WE’RE...

Come on. You’re so close.

KARKAT: I’M GLAD YOU’RE MY FRIEND, DAVE.

Aw, that’s fantastic! Look at that, Karkaroni said aloud he appreciates Dave this much, and he did it to his face! This kind of thing is real difficult for him, so the fact he felt the spontaneous need to tell this to Dave is pretty nice. They have come quite a long way since their first interactions in like Act 3 or so.

Dave pretty much says ‘oh. Same.’, which is as much emotional reciprocation as Dave can give, I suppose, so I can’t give him much of a hard time. Dirk, on the other hand, is pretty much dying. If Dave and Karkaroni’s conversation is what makes Dirk quit controlling the narrative I’ll be so amused. This is going so well Dirk decides to press things a little, making Dave have some weird mental images and similes, but it does get Dave to continue talking.

Kind of rude to forget what you were talking about Karkaroni’s feelings, pal. Top notch friendship/almost romantic effort. But yeah, it’s now Dave’s turn to talk about his feelings, saying ‘same’ in more words.

DAVE: like maybe we feel the same way about certain things

DAVE: but what were saying and what were feeling

DAVE: maybe those arent exactly the same thing

DAVE: and maybe... we should...

KARKAT: WE SHOULD WHAT?

DAVE: maybe its time to

DAVE: talk

DAVE: about... that

Well, I guess this is progress?

KARKAT: THAT???

DAVE: yeah, like

DAVE: how... when you say were friends

DAVE: what... does that mean

KARKAT: THAT WE’RE FRIENDS?

DAVE: yeah but

DAVE: is that it?

DAVE: just friends

Oho, he’s pushing for it! Maybe Dave really feels something romantic towards Karkaroni. I’m actually a bit surprised he’s acting on that. While I personally did believe he did, I wasn’t really going to take it for granted unless more indication was given in the text and here it is. Alright!

KARKAT: OF COURSE NOT.

KARKAT: YOU’RE MY...........

KARKAT: B......

KARKAT: ......EST FRIEND.

DAVE: oh

DAVE: i see

It’s so unlike Karkaroni to hesitate like that. Does he feel the same too? I feel like, if he had no doubts about it, he’d have outright said ‘best friend’ without any ellipsis. Something in your mind, Karkaroni? Dave accepts it anyway, and that’s that. At least until Dirk keeps pressing things forward again. Geez, give them a break.

Alright, Dirk, can you not. Being too descriptive is a thing, you know.

Dave’s actually leaning forward for a kiss, Dirk making sure every little action Karkaroni does seems like he’s receptive to romantic overtures, until Dave realizes he’s having thoughts he’d never have. Which is true, really. The narration is really invasive.

KARKAT: WHAT’S WRONG?

KARKAT: DID I DO SOMETH—

DAVE: no

DAVE: i just cant

DAVE: shit

DAVE: it just feels like

It feels like nothing, Dave. Don’t worry about it.

DAVE: what the fuck is going on

DAVE: this feels really off

KARKAT: ????

DAVE: idk

DAVE: i just keep having thoughts i know id never think

He’s right. This is precisely why I say forcing things to happen is not a good idea. Look at that, it’s interfering. Way to go, Dirk, now stop metaphorically holding their head together as if they’re dolls you’re making kiss. All you did is make Dave all confused.

I take a deep breath and get myself under control. My light psychological intrusions may have only made things worse. Invested as I am in the outcome of this encounter, I know forcing their hand would be a mistake.

NO KIDDING.

If Dave passes that threshold not of his own will, it’d be a hollow victory anyway. There’s nothing I can do but settle down, step it back, and trust my boy to bring it home.

I think if Dirk forced things to happen this wouldn’t last, unless Dirk keeps his attention on their romantic relationship 24/7, and he obviously wouldn’t want to do that. Things would fall apart irreparably, I’d say, because these two are so emotionally constipated they would refuse to even consider the possibility of trying again. Just let things happen, if they happen.

What follows is several paragraphs of prose so purple I’m surprised the font is orange. Despite that it’s pretty well written, it’s descriptive and paints the scene pretty vividly. This may be the one time I like Dirk’s narration. Also, all that is being funneled into Dave’s head, so it’s like he has a narrator describing everything, which he doesn’t like. Dirk once again ruins everything when Dave had already progressed, and let me tell you, your loved one shouting in your face to some unseen influence is not attractive.

Before Karkaroni can ponder if Dave is losing his mind right in front of him, Dave just goes ahead with the kiss. There they go! What they wanted has happened. Now the thing to wonder is if it’ll last. Good luck to them!

God damn. I’m sorry. I’m blowing the description here, and missing a lot of good shit. It just caught me so off guard.

Honestly it’s better this way. No need for more, that was all that was needed. Brevity is the soul of wit, Dirk. Not that you have ever known the meaning of the word ‘brevity’.

I’m not going to intercede with a single word further, and I won’t let you, either. I won’t cheapen this beautiful moment with my base editorialization just to satisfy your voyeuristic curiousity. Frankly, I’m offended you’d even expect me to.

I expected it because you have as much tact as a baseball bat to the teeth, pal.

What they’re getting up to here is nobody’s business but theirs.

Davekat is canon, and that’s really all there is to say on the matter. Let’s give these crazy lovebirds some privacy and move on.

Thank goodness, make this twice I’m okay with Dirk’s narration. I better check outside and see what color is the moon right now. Oh, look, it’s blue. No wonder he’s being discreet.

So after these parts where Dirk was acceptable as the narrator, naturally he has to go and ruin it by meeting Jake the next page, where he immediately showers himself with rose petals and preens by bragging about any virtues he thinks he has. I’m not looking forward to him talking to Jake, especially not after the way he was talking about Jake back at the stadium for the endorsement speech. At the first sign of ridiculous gaslighting I’m calling this a day.

My guy Squarewave is here too. I need his help today, because there’s a lot of cargo to wrangle. He’s wheeling something around on a hand truck. Something about the height of Rose, roughly Rose-shaped, and wrapped in a cloth. I know she’s gonna love it the first time she sees it. But the only way she’ll be able to do that is when she’s awake and looking in a mirror.

Okay, it definitely will be a robot for Rose. Golly, there’s something really creepy about transferring a friend’s consciousness to a robot, especially when she’s in no condition to do anything about it. Then again, I suppose a robot’s processing power would help to deal with the sensory overload of all the visions and stuff. That must be Dirk’s reasoning, no? I wonder for Rose will react once she’s inside the robot, able to think clearly – if Dirk doesn’t stop her from thinking, of course.

Dirk goes straight to the point, telling he needs a spaceship, although he doesn’t mention it’s to run away from the planet. All he wants is something fast, to run away as quickly as he can to where nobody can bother him while he keeps his iron grip on everything from a distance, I suppose.

Apparently Jake thought he was going to join Dirk, so Dirk sets that straight. Now that this matter is settled, Jake asks a sensible question:

JAKE: So um... how long will you be away? Does kanaya know about all of these shenanigans?

DIRK: Yes.

DIRK: We’ve discussed it. She’s ok with it.

JAKE: Whew good to see theres no trouble in paradise. Theyve always had the most lovely marriage.

Boy that’s going to be awkward to discuss, if they ever do. There’s plenty of trouble in paradise, and all of them are shaped like Dirk.

Jake hasn’t gotten over his failed relationship with Dirk, and he asks him when he’ll be back from this romp in space. The news Dirk is never coming back devastates him. Oh hey, I just realized: is Terezi coming? This is what Dirk meant about letting her come along, right? Is she going to join them, dragging John’s corpse in a wallet? Should I expect a Terezi robot in the future?

Jake can’t come, not only because Dirk doesn’t want him anywhere near him, but also because he’ll have to support Jane in a reign that’s likely to last millions of years. Jake argues he knows nothing about strategy or policy, so I suppose he’ll stay because of his political capital? Whatever political capital he has left after the...shameful spectacle of the endorsement speech.

DIRK: Uh, Jake. Nobody wants you to do any of that.

DIRK: Well, I know Jane sure doesn’t.

JAKE: Then... what...

DIRK: You’ll just be, you know.

DIRK: Her candy boy?

JAKE: CANDY BOY???

DIRK: Yeah. Being on call.

DIRK: Serving a multimillion-year term of giving her the right kind of “presidential action” she needs to keep going. To keep her morale up and such.

DIRK: To provide her with many heirs.

DIRK: Doesn’t that sound cool?

I’m losing my patience with this ass and also with Condesce Jane. Scrolling down. Jake basically confesses he can’t live without Dirk’s presence, and Dirk puts all the blame on Jake. Where’s the arrow for the next page...ah, there it is.

Kanaya is looking for Jade’s hospital room, antidote in hand. She finds it and shows Roxy the antidote, ready to apply it to Jade. She doesn’t even explain what it is, she just injects it right away, and it doesn’t take long at all for Jade to start moving. An effective antidote! And when Jade opens her eyes, they’re green instead of black. She’s not possessed. Ah, so that’s why Dirk was okay with letting Jade wake up, she’s not under Dead Calliope’s control anymore.

Looks like during her trance there was still some sort of consciousness in her. She knows a lot, possibly in the same way Dirk, Rose and Terezi know a lot – by seeing a lot of alternate Jades. She’s taking it all rather well, without headaches or anything debilitating like what Rose had before going to see Dirk. She does have something, though: wrath. And it’s all directed at one person.

JADE: DIRK STRIDER HAS TO BE STOPPED!!!!!!!!!!

Damn right! Buuuut he’s kind of getting on a spaceship, so you’re running out of time for that. Then again, this is Jade, the one with space powers. That has to be some sort of advantage.

The next page is Dirk’s justification for his actions. It’s nothing really worthwhile, mostly that he wanted to be a good person and thought of himself that way, but given what he had to do and what powers he had, it was impossible to come across as anything but the villain, and that he admitted he was the villain now. From all this page there’s only a couple things worth going deeper into, I’d say. Let’s see...

If my agenda was to try as hard as I could to make sure no one thought I sucked, what the fuck would ever get done? How would I go about taming this world, or shaping reality for the better? And if I didn’t bother pursuing those goals, and thereby tacitly accepting the untold suffering that resulted from my inaction, wouldn’t that make me a bad person? If I try and succeed, I’m a hero, right? And if I try and fail, at least I made things interesting on my way to the grave. There would be a tragic nobility in that. And the way I see it, settling for anything less from my arc would be, frankly, pathetic.

Right. Can’t say I understand what Dirk’s plan is, other than it seems like it’s to assimilate everyone under one big god or something – most likely in a metaphorical manner – but other than that there hasn’t really been any kind of information about it. That aside, there’s something else to touch in this part.

Be okay with everyone hating you because you know what you’re doing is for the better? It’s more than fine. Has a lot of potential and grounds for some good personal conflict. It’d indeed be tragically noble. Buuuut none of what I read in this epilogue says it’s a tragically noble. In terms of writing, Dirk seriously is going to succeed on making every character in Homestuck loathe him, judging by the way Jade already woke up and is ready to scream her head off about how Dirk has to be stopped, so he has that much right. All that is more than fine, and it certainly would be a hella interesting story if it wasn’t an epilogue.

The problem is that Dirk controlled the narrative and showed exactly what was going on in his head. The reader could see very clearly what he thought of everyone, the reader saw what kind of choice words he had to say about people like John or Jake or anyone else. The reader saw all the disdain towards pretty much everything and how Dirk kept patting himself on the back. After all that, this entire page of Dirk justifying how it’s okay if he’s the villain comes across as very delusional. It’s pretty hard to think of any of this as ‘tragic nobility’ when the narrative showed very well he’s pretty rotten to the core.

Which would have been excellent if this had been anything other than Homestuck, really. It’d have been such an interesting thing, and so enjoyable. Alas. Still going to talk about that once I’m done with the epilogue.

The other thing I think is worth seeing is this:

That’s why when someone finally comes knocking for the price I owe, I’ll fully welcome it. By then it’ll have been a long time coming, and I’ll probably have done more than my share to make sure, somewhere along the way, it all got put into motion. What good is a villain who doesn’t have a satisfying dramatic comeuppance in store for him? So yeah, the next time I die, let’s pencil it in as a Just Death. And let’s also have it on good authority that the next time Dave cuts off my head, it’ll be for good.

I’ll be looking forward to that day just as much as the next guy.

He already has decided how it’ll be. I don’t doubt he’ll let it happen because, well, he controls the narrative, and my guess is that he wouldn’t let anyone but Dave kill him. Who better than him? And in what other manner but making the meme happen once again? Even during death Dirk Strider has to stick to his memes. Wouldn’t be surprised if when the time comes he intentionally writes things so Dave decapitates him instead of, say, stab him through the gut with the sword.

Aaaalso, is this implying said ‘satisfying dramatic comeuppance’ isn’t coming in this epilogue? Kind of say that coming, really. I heard the Meat epilogue has forty-something pages and this is page 41. There’s not really a lot of space left to do a dramatic confrontation that’s not rushed, unless you forgo everything like setting it up and just teleport everybody to the moment of Dirk’s death. Then again, this is Homestuck. Clean, tidy conclusions aren’t really its thing, haha, so I didn’t really think there’d be any kind of confrontation with Dirk. If Lord English didn’t get one in the story itself, why would Dirk Strider of all people get it?

The next page starts with quite the long conversation. Let’s see...

So, Jade is immediately alarmed while Kanaya is appeasing her, saying everything is okay. Roxy is going to be so confused, being the only one here who hasn’t been involved in Dirk’s antics at all. Now that I think about it, Roxy is the only one who hasn’t been kicked to the curb by this epilogue, I suppose it’s because she’s been pretty much a nonentity during the epilogue except for a conversation or two that didn’t really have anything to do with the other plots. Then again, Calliope had even less and she ended traumatized.

KANAYA: Hes Going To Take Good Care Of Rose

KANAYA: Probably Much Better Than Id Ever Be Able To

KANAYA: Ill Miss Her But Im At Least Thankful For That

JADE: THANKFUL??

JADE: kanaya...

JADE: did

JADE: did dirk KIDNAP ROSE?!

Yes! He very much did! Make sure when you rescue her her mind is in her body instead of inside a robot. I wouldn’t be surprised if he tries to convince everyone to take an empty husk away, saying she’s in a coma or something.

Things are so bad Roxy sounds indignant. I feel bad for her, it’s going to be tough to hear such things about one of her oldest friends. Jade asks questions to find out if Kanaya being okay with these developments was an attitude she arrived to by her own volition or if Dirk influenced her in some manner. As soon as the answer is said she knows it’s Dirk’s influence.

It’s fine, Kanaya. Why don’t we just say I’m invoking the mercy rule here. Jade is onto me obviously. But I wouldn’t have even let her wake up if there was anything you all could do about it by now. As the cherub resurfaces in her mind, I’ll be fading out of here soon anyway. I don’t see any reason to keep my dear friends in limbo any longer than they need to be.

So he doesn’t mind if Dead Calliope takes over Jade again – and possibly the narrative. Sounds to me like Dirk got away with whatever he was doing, then. If he can let go of the narrative, then he doesn’t need it anymore. Oof, not good. He cares so little he even gives Kanaya her own sane judgment back. How smug of him.

KANAYA: Wait

KANAYA: I Dont...

KANAYA: Im Confused

ROXY: ???

KANAYA: Why Didnt I At Least

KANAYA: Demand To See My Wife Before They Departed While I Had Dirk On The Phone

ROXY: omg u didnt even SEE her before she left??

KANAYA: No

KANAYA: At The Time It Didnt Feel Right To Ask I Guess

KANAYA: I Was So Devastated I Thought

KANAYA: That I Should Just

KANAYA: I Dont Know What I Thought

KANAYA: What

KANAYA: What Was I THINKING?

JADE: :(

She must be furious. It’s not everyday she lets go of her quirk like that. From the position my scrolling bar is at right now, I see more full caps. Kanaya, do you still have chainsaws? I can imagine Kanaya revving up the chainsaw right now. Dirk should consider himself lucky he may be already in outer space.

Seriously, it’s pretty hard to think of Dirk’s actions as ‘tragically noble’ when he’s patting his own back so hard he’s going to sprain his shoulder.

Without even knowing the details Kanaya is already certain Dirk has corrupted her in some manner, because otherwise Rose wouldn’t have acted like she did. She’s not wrong! And then she vows to make him pay, and pay dearly he will. That part I’m afraid won’t happen, as I’m pretty sure Dave will be the one to give the final blow, and chainsaws kind of make deadly injuries so she can’t do anything.

Since Jade’s the one with the answers, Kanaya demands to hear them, impatiently ignoring Jade’s words about anything that doesn’t seem related to Dirk at first. True to dramatic yet cheesy writing, all Jade manages to say is...

JADE: im trying to get to that!

JADE: the thing with dirk is...

JADE: is...

Whooops, here comes Dead Calliope. Hi! And this time Dirk is okay with it because his plans are already underway, so he doesn’t mind giving the dead cherub this advantage. Dead Calliope will give Jade back only when Dirk is so far away he’s not a danger to anyone, and given how he’s already far away and in control...well that’s going to be a long while.

they will know what to do, when they are ready.

Ha ha. Sure. They’ll all just hop in a spaceship and go on a wild goose chase trying to hunt me down. I know that already. It’s really not rocket science. Except for the fact that it literally is.

Can it really be called a wild goose chase when it’s a foregone conclusion they’ll succeed? You know they will, you’re even expecting that with some eagerness. It may take them a looooong time, but they’ll reach Dirk someday. A few of these people have an eternity to do so, after all. I imagine others will come along once they find out what happened, too. I’m pretty confident Jane would be the only one who wouldn’t, and that’s because she’ll be too busy implementing her reign of terror.

kanaya drops to the floor and begins weeping again. she feels the sorrow anew from her wife’s departure, with a sense of rage and pain unshrouded by the veil of the prince. neither she nor her friends will have to worry about him anymore, so long as they remain on this planet and under my protection.

Well! Sorry to disappoint, Dead Calliope, but the odds they’ll remain on this planet and do nothing after two of them stated pretty clearly Dirk has to be stopped and kidnapped someone are...pretty low. I just hope Dead Calliope isn’t going to get in their way when they finally get going.

KANAYA: He Has To Be Stopped...

KANAYA: He Has To Be Stopped...

huddled on the floor, she repeats this pledge to herself. theoretically, he could be stopped before he leaves, if they hurried. they would need to know what to do, where to go, and to have the motivation to do it, but time is short. i could push them to, with a certain degree of intervention, but i will not. my unwillingness to do so is what separates me from him. and what corporeal life needs now is someone presiding over them who is nothing like him at all.

So Dead Calliope would just be an observer narrating everything, I guess. She wouldn’t intervene or push anyone around unless they were insulting the mighty lollipop. That’d be the extent of her actions, hm...having free will sounds really nice, I must say. It wouldn’t be so bad for this to be the status quo.

This is the end of the page. This update is already quite long, so I’ll cut it here. In the next one I’ll finish the meat epilogue.

Next update: next time

[utopianparadoxist]

Knights and Pages - Serving, Service and Ownage

[Author’s Note: This is a repost of Love, Faith and Fantasy--my piece on Jake and Dirk’s character arcs and the relevance of Knights and Pages in understanding them. I thought breaking it up into chunks would make the content more accessible, and give me room to flesh out each argument. Thus there will be some updates to the content. Hopefully this will mean more people can easily approach it!] [Pt. 2 - Faith and Fear] [Pt. 3 - Fearful Heart] [Pt. 4 - Noble]  [Pt. 5 - As You Wish]

In my last post, I advanced the idea that Pages are an Active class and Knights are Passive. In so doing, I made the mistake of implying Pages are all secretely hyperintelligent supergeniuses who use everyone knowingly. That wasn’t exactly my intent, but that’s fine--sloppy execution on my part. My bad.

What I didn’t do is discuss the potential key verbs Knights and Pages might operate under--because I honestly didn’t have one I felt confident in. In the wake of discussing the piece with @theworstpersonintheworld (misleadingly named), he made a suggestion that struck me deeply, and once I started thinking about the story in those terms everything truly fell into place.  

I think it will be useful in explaining the dynamic between Jake and Dirk as I see it, so I’d like to make the case for it here before we move forward.

The key verb for both Knights and Pages is ‘Serve’. This puts them in direct thematic opposition to Rogues and Thieves, who ‘Steal’, which lines up with those dual systems Sburb loves so much--after all, if Princes and Bards are ‘Destroy’ classes, it’s reasonable to assume there is also a ‘Create’ set, right?

Knights Serve their Aspect to others. Pages use their Aspect to Serve themselves. To establish this and contrast against Jake’s actions later, let’s see how this model applies to Dave, Karkat and Tavros. First, the Knights, and an outline of the different executions the Serve verb can take.

Serve can mean:

1. To provide, or give (a counterpoint to Take)

2. To provide service for

3. To own or defeat, in literal or rhetorical battle (in the colloquial ‘You Got Served’ sense). 

From the outset, Dave has a reputation for providing his friends with his Time, serving them long rambling diatribes to consume and enjoy.--often far exceeding the time they’re willing to spend on the conversation.

Karkat does the same thing--often offering Pacts and Bonds to friends that he likes while simultaneously offering his services in helping them figure out relationship problems. 

Davesprite comes back from the future and literally empowers not just Dave, but John by providing him Time in the form of a Hammer with Time powers. 

Dave’s primary contribution to the Beta session is to run loops around the session, constantly gathering all relevant resources possible so that his friends don’t need to worry at all about limitations like money or access to weapons and can do whatever they feel like. 

Essentially, Dave takes care of the minutiae. He provides a service to his friends--putting them in the best position possible to act out their own wills. 

Karkat’s ultimate contribution to his session is similar--ultimately, Karkat’s main role was to maintain the bonds between all his friends. LIke Dave’s, Karkat’s nature affects every single other player, keeping them bound towards a common goal and thus bettering their odds of winning the game. (it’s worth noting I think Vriska’s view of Sburb is wrong here.) 

This predisposition to giving service to others is also likely why Knights seem to end up helping out with Frog Breeding duties so often. This is essentially the most important game objective, and so helping the Space player in completing it is also helping every other player in step. 

And then there’s this. There’s a colloquial definition of Serve that derives it’s use from the term “Get Served”, which Urban Dictionary defines as: To be completely owned or shown up by someone. Kinda like Dave does to us here--which Karkat also does, by the way, before going on a rant outlined by his ambitions and silhouetted with Blood colors. 

When Karkat wants to make something bite, he ends a relationship. Refuses to continue offering his Aspect, basically. This is also something Dave does repeatedly--he overwhelms Tavros with a time-consuming and epically sassy document, and makes Time-based power plays against Karkat as a gesture of antagonism. 

To serve someone in this sense essentially means to defeat them in rhetorical or literal battle, explaining why Aradia describes Knights as a powerful Warrior class--one of the definitions this wordplay allows for is a class that uses its Aspect to deal devastating, embarrassing defeats.

Dave obviously uses Time powers to fight, thus enabling him to Own/Serve his enemies in this sense, but Karkat is much more interesting here. Karkat also seems to fill the second stipulation Calliope puts onto Passive classes--that is, that they tend to function with less awareness of their Aspect, their Aspect working through them rather than under their direct control, as if through “The Will of the Aspect”. 

Every time Karkat wins a confrontation in Homestuck, he does so by establishing a connection. You can argue Karkat’s aware he does this with Gamzee, but he doesn’t really parse it as doing a Knight of Blood thing. But with Clover he doesn’t realize what he’s doing at all! He thinks he just beat this green elf dude, but what actually happens is Clover wanted to enter a relationship with him. 

What goes ignored is how unlikely a win this is--because Clover is so lucky, he straight up could not be defeated normally. Clover loses this fight not because he’s overpowered, but because he benefits even more than Karkat does. Clover is a horndog, and in his view there’s no better outcome to this fight than Getting Lucky. Karkat wins unawares, as if through the Will of Blood. 

Contrast this with Jake’s win. Jake beats the felt, shocking Crowbar--but Crowbar doesn’t benefit from this at all. Jake does. Jake is the one who wants to be seen as an impressive adventuring hero, and by exposing Crowbar to an unforeseen possibility, he achieves that. 

I’d like to posit a corollary attribute that I believe holds true for all Classes, as well. This one is not explicitly advanced textually, but I believe I can back it up. It takes place along a different axis. I posit that just as the classes affect their Aspect, so too they are affected BY their Aspect.

So in addition to the Active/Passive distinction, we could read both Knights and Pages as ones who are Served by their Aspect.

This is true of Dave, as he gets owned by his Bro in an explicitly time-consuming fight. And the trend continues as he then gets saved by his future selves over and over again throughout the session--being served in both senses:

In this sense, Dave also operates “As if through the Will of the Aspect”, even as he’s in control of his actual powers. He’s presented with stable time loops that he has to obey, and it’s kind of a loaded question whether any given Present Dave would have taken the same path had he not already been given the path to follow from his future selves. 

Now, to contrast before we move on to the rest of this series, a few notes on Tavros:

Tavros’ main psychic abilities correspond to his Classpect--he’s able to move animals to serve his will, providing them direction. The reading that Pages inspire their Aspect in others isn’t totally off, in my view. What it misses is that Pages seem to inspire in others a desire to serve or help them. To benefit themselves somehow. 

Vriska clearly perceives her actions towards Tavros a kind of twisted service, and while I don’t want to put the picture here, Tavros certainly ends up getting Served through Flight--a Breath concept. Tavros also gets the ability to fly early on, like John does--and Tavros gets it directly through Vriska’s service, one of the few times her efforts are actually helpful. 

This doesn’t extend to just Vriska, though. Tavros inspires Kanaya and even Equius--who ordinarily wouldn’t help on account of the Hemospectrum--to provide him with robot legs, extending his freedom of motion, again a concept linked to Breath. This again benefits no one except Tavros. 

Perhaps more telling is this visual language, which suggests Tavros was about to actually Do the Windy Thing--when he was acting under his own will and directing it for a goal he had in mind. Possibly healing? Who knows, we never find out, because this is Vriska. Needless to say, when asked to do things HER way and the way she would most benefit from....Tavros can’t do it. It’s not what comes naturally to him.  

And of course, this reading puts a whole new spin on Tavros’ final act in the story. If we’re reading Pages as intrinsically kind of selfish and self-motivated, then Tavros’ motivation here isn’t to provide a useful service to Vriska. It’s to do something so useful she can’t possibly deny it, so he can have the pleasure of owning her. 

This is Vriska getting Served. This is an immutable fact that is being stated for the record. That it is genuinely helpful does not mean that Vriska getting fucking wrecked isn’t what is taking place here.  Notably, Tavros immediately gives power over the army to Meenah, because he doesn’t give a shit about responsibility. Tavros had a goal, and the ghosts helped him achieve it. 

A final note:

If this reading of Knights and Pages happens to bother you because it means that the Beta session has an uneven distribution of Active/Passive classes, consider the dynamics of both sessions:

In the beta session, Rose essentially takes and follows orders from the Horrorterrors and Doc Scratch, whilst also distributing orders to Dave and John (who each take further orders from troll girls and Jade).

 All of this is ultimately in support of the plan Jade commits to herself, plans herself, and executes herself--taking Active control of the entire session in one fell swoop at the last instant.

In the Alpha session, all three Active players flounder and stifle themselves and each other with nothing meaningful to do and no way to receive substantial benefit. 

Ultimately, it is the Passive player--Roxy--who rises above the constraints of her session and achieves more or less competence at understanding her role and powerset by the end of the session.

In the session that requires constant action and change, there’s Three passives to one Active. In the session that requires patience, introspection, and connecting with each other, the inverse is true. The incentives and natural skills of the players are set at odds in both cases, stacking the cards against them.

In fact, @arrghus  makes an insightful point about these unbalanced sessions: 

Namely, that this puts the kids in the exact same position as the Trolls’ Red and Blue teams--which ALSO have an uneven distribution of Passive/Active classes under this reading, only reaching equilibrium when added together. 

This segment covered, we can move on to Jake, and how this reading of Pages reflects on him. 

This series has been a passion project, but also a side project to my youtube series aimed at welcoming and explaining Homestuck to new, incoming Hiveswap fans. If you find yourself trying to make it easier for a Hiveswap fan to understand what Homestuck is about and how it connects to the game, I hope you think of me.

If you like my writing and have a buck to spare, you could also really help me out by enabling me to focus on putting more of this content out there through pledging on Patreon. Doing so will also give you access to my private community of enthusiasts trying to advance new and interesting readings of this wonderful property.

See you again soon, everyone. Until then,

Keep rising.

[asymmetryestablished]

valentine fandom ask meme: homestuck for all the odd ones and rvb for all the even ones

oH GOD okay let's see how this goes***Spoiler Alert*** by the way1. Your favourite non-canon ship? I don't particularly have one, though to be clear Homestuck has a hell of a lot of ships. I like pairing people up with Sollux tho, if only because I support Sollux getting lots of love.2. Is there a ship you didn’t like at first but ultimately started shipping? Tuckington and Lolix. both are things my friend who got me into RvB ships hardcore, but when I first encountered all the relevant characters I couldn't see them in the pairs. Tuckington I saw once they actually started interacting, in S11 or so; Lolix, after having seen their episodes in S14, although I shipped them as exes before then - like, I watched them and agreed that they'd had something but it fell apart before we met them.3. What is the rarest rare pair (that you ship)? I'm not really a rarepair kind of child but I do like Sollux/Dirk and Sollux/John, because programming and hands, respectively4. Name a popular ship you don’t get the appeal of. probably Chex I just really strongly believe that moving on is the best damn idea Church ever had5. What is your most fluffy + happy ship? fun question, because a lot of my ships could be fluffy or angst depending on what you look at. short answer: Davekat.6. What is your most angsty ship? FELIX/TUCKER OKAY HOLY SHIT MAJOR SPOILER ALERT FOR THE CHORUS TRILOGY BUT just picture when they're in Armonia and Wash is presumed dead and Tucker is having to come to terms with losing someone he hadn't realized he loved so much and also coming to terms with his love AND HIS SEXUALITY on top of that and Felix just slides on in because he's a slimy bastard who isn't above getting off on other people's emotional pain and/or just generally being an emotional sadist but also tactically brilliant and fucking Tucker while he's broken and I currently have an in-progress fic that is literally this and entitled "Felix Tucker emotional abuse" on my computer (ABUSE in my binder)7. A non-canon ship that should be canon? again, Homestuck has quite a romantically promiscuous canon. I think most of my really serious ships are canon??? but it's also been a while since I last acquainted myself with HS so I'm not sure. I do like Sollux/Karkat in basically any quadrant tho and I don't think they canonically did any quadrant stuffz or at least not all of them8. Your oldest ship; the one you’ve shipped for the longest time? Grimmons. still ship it. GRIF LITERALLY CONTAINS PARTS OF SIMMONS IF THATS NOT POTENTIAL FOR A ROMANTIC CRISIS FIC THEN IDK WHAT IS9. What ship represents the kind of relationship you’d love to have? Davekat as presented in canon, all soft squishy feels under a shell of crunchy banter and sarcasm; that, or Rosemary, which I read this fic once that mentioned them being a universal constant? like, there wasn't a single timeline where they didn't get together, and that makes me really happy. I also really like how Nepeta and Equius are complete polar opposites and both really fucking weird but don't care10. Is there a ship that makes your skin crawl? Churboose the way most people portray it. Caboose has the mental capacity of a child; I don't know if it's canon or not, but I am firmly of the belief that he is not entirely capable of distinguishing between romantic and platonic love, if at all, and sex isn't even a thing that he acknowledges. I can get behind the idea of Church accidentally and bizarrely and inexplicably falling in love with Caboose in a purely emotional sense, and Caboose loves everyone on all the teams in his own way, except the ones his family (because that's what they are, his family) genuinely hates, and those he does his best to fuck up something fierce. but don't pretend that Caboose and Church having sex would be anything but creepy as fuck and completely out of character. Also, the Director/Tex, because vicarious relationships, and Felix/Tucker but that one's a good skin-crawly one if done right (which it will be when I do it).11. What is a character you can only imagine in one particular ship? Calliope I can only see with Roxy, but damn do I ever see it.12. What is your favourite canon ship? if we're going with the cutthroat definition of canon, there aren't any, so going with the practical definition, Grimmons, because I'm not saying the secretly-married jokes are true, but I am saying they're extremely well-founded, even if one or both of them needs to pull his head out of his ass and notice.13. Name a ship that deserved more content. I feel like Vriska/Terezi, especially Game Over timeline Vriska/Terezi, deserved more, but I definitely needed more Terezi/John, because John learning firsthand about kismesissitude is a beautiful image.14. Is there a ship you feel gets undeserved hate in fandom? no??? the RvB fandom tends to agree that most of the characters have banged or at least that they could, so I haven't actually seen, like, *any* ship hate.15. What is the first ship you had? Davekat, which I shipped before getting into Homestuck, for which I blame the friend who got me into it in the first place.16. Is there a ship that made you realise something about yourself? uhm. all of them made me realize that I have a thing for temporarily inflicting emotional pain on characters, if that counts???17. Is there a type of ship you always go for? this goes for everything: banter. banter banter banter. example ships outside of these two specified fandoms: Bond/Q (Craig era), Romeo/Mercutio (yes, Romeo and Juliet), Rosencrantz/Guildenstern (Rosencrantz and Guildenstern Are Dead, specifically), Kate/Petruchio (yes I'm Shakespeare trash get over it), Skye/Jeffrey (The Penderwicks), wow I ship a lot of things I hadn't realized I shipped.18. Is there a ship the writers have ruined for you? no. unless you count the emotional abuse that is Ohio shooting Sherry and thereby ruining any chance they could've had, which nearly made me cry19. Is there a ship the fandom has ruined for you? not unless you count that tumblr post about Gamzee's relationships all being meticulously calculated and executed to do the most damage ruining my ability to enjoy pale Gamkar due to my new perception of Gamzee20. Have you ever created fan created content for a ship? hell ye. I have an AO3 but refuse to attach it to my tumblr. currently I've only got one RvB work and it's a really minor ship of mine, but I've got like four Tuckington, one Lolix, and that Felix/Tucker emotional abuse on the go.21. Favourite thing you’ve ever created for a ship? see previous comment re: not sharing my AO3, but my Snowman/Spades Slick WIP makes me really happy and I've got some damn good Davekat22. Is there a ship you’ll never admit you have? nope. not for anything I don't think. I'll even admit to shipping Annie and Teddy from the Magic Tree House books, and Dink and Ruth Rose from the A-Z Mysteries. I have always been a trashbaby and never given half a fuck.23. Have you ever started shipping a ship because of the fans? see previous comments re: Davekat. there was at least one more but I can't remember right now.24. What is one scene you want to see happen for all your ships? meeting in a bar, for the first time or after a long time or whatever. there are so many damn ways a bar meeting could go that it satisfies so many of my ships, and in RvB, all of them.25. Is there a ship you wish you didn’t know existed? all forms of Stridercest, particularly since I can actually tolerate Dirk/Dave. also Kurloz/Mituna because Kurloz is a confirmed creepy abusive fucker and Mituna is my precious pandamaged child26. Name a ship that ended like you wanted it to. Church/Tex, actually, if you disregard my temporary disappointment at Tex being female. the end of S9 gave them the best possible ending.27. Name a ship that deserved better in the end. Dirk/Jake but I can't complain too much because at least the abusive relationship ended28. Is there a character you have several ships for? Tucker's a slut, so yeah, but also I'm a big believer in breakups being a good and healthy part of life, so I ship relationships in the past tense. example: I support York and Carolina being together, and also thoroughly support Kimball finally getting Carolina to open up and fall in love again.29. What is the ship you ignore 98% of canon for? that's not really a thing I do, so. there isn't one.30. Is there a ship you like but you dislike the fandom? if we mean the fandom stuff for the particular ship, yeah, Churboose and Lolix in particular but I generally hate when people miss the point of what makes characters themselves in order to just make fanfic or whatever of their ship. in more general terms, I read the Maze Runner a while ago in order to be able to watch the movie for the sake of Thomas Brodie-Sangster (which I decided not to actually do because it's a really bad book), and I fucking hated the book, it's a really fucking shitty book, but Newt and Thomas all the fucking way man. (I think it was the nickname that really got me; nobody else calls him Tommy, and Newt doesn't give anyone else a nickname as far as I can remember, and also I'm really pissed that they cut the kiss scene from the movie because I might've suffered through it just for that)HOOOOOO BOY thank you anon that was way more fun than sleeping. also I'm having so much trouble figuring out who you are because most of my people I know are in one fandom or the other but not both, and the other people I can think of I can't imagine sending me an ask like this. aaaaa it's a mystery thank you for the excuse to ramble