#I feel like that phrase needs to be taken away sometimes because if 90% of the people who saw your post went

[foxgirlmoth]

Imagine being one of the most well known trans streamers (at least that I've ever heard), being allowed to afford for pretty much whatever affirming care you want, and then making fun of another trans women for.... Being a trans woman. And then you throw a hissy fit when people say you're shitty for that. Like damn you have so many people going to bat for you for being a piece of shit to someone else in your own community, you can afford to do this, and then you just say you're not 'quirky' enough to fit in with us. You're just being an asshole. Trying to say 'normal' trans women don't exist is pretty fucking disgusting.

[the-letter-horror-lover]

Suigetsu could be heard yawning before he answered, "The old bastard's out but he should be back any minute. I'll grab the rest of this crazy family though so they can all hear about this urgent and vital information."

Naruto wasn't fond of being made fun of but he knew that this was Suigetsu's personality. He wasn't respectful 90% of the time and often was sarcastic or teasing people to get a reaction out of them for his own entertainment. They all heard what sounded like people shuffling over before they got the okay from Suigetsu to talk.

Naruto took a deep breath, this wasn't going to be easy to say to them but he had to do it, "Mitsuki was sent out on a three man squad mission to the Hidden Stone to deliver a message but they encountered rogue ninja. Mitsuki was wounded and kidnapped by them and taken to an unknown location. I felt as though you should all know and that you would be able to find him far better than any Leaf ninja I have."

"Log, wait! You don't even know where he is!"

"Then come with me, Karin! My little brother is out there and he needs me!"

"You're a fool! He doesn't just need you… he needs all of us…"

"Well, where's my damned father? We need to go, now!"

"… he's been here…"

There was silence on the other side of the snake call. Suddenly there was the loud sound of people running out and then the call was disconnected. Boruto was in his father's face as he asked, "So when are we leaving, too? We gotta get going now or we won't catch up!"

"We're not going. This is a matter for Mitsuki's family to handle."

Boruto was about to say something when he suddenly backed away and stormed out of the office with Sarada in tow. Naruto put his elbows on the desk and held his face in his hands. He felt Shikamaru sit down in a chair next to him. Shikamaru was doing the same as him. This was an unsettling situation but this was something they knew Orochimaru would want to handle.

Boruto grew less and less angry the closer he got to Mitsuki's apartment. His heart felt heavy as he snuck in through the window with Sarada right behind him. Sarada smiled at everything, Mitsuki kept his apartment so clean. She looked around until her eyes widened at the sight of Boruto holding a picture in his hands.

She looked over his shoulder and noticed that he was looking at their old team picture. Konohamaru was in the back giving a nervous smile as he watched Sarada and Boruto glare at each other. It was funny to them now because they couldn't even remember what it was they were arguing about before the picture was taken. Mitsuki was crouched in the middle of them with his eyes closed, tongue out, and both hands were giving the peace sign. The picture brought back so many memories.

"You know something, Sarada," Boruto started with a soft smile, "sometimes I feel like I've waited a hundred years for Mitsuki but I'd wait a million more for him. Nothing prepared me for the privilege of being his a do… I never knew what it was like to be with him because I never really made him mine, did I?"

"He always wanted to be your boyfriend, Boruto…"

"I know… but I realized that when it was too late, didn't I?"

Sarada looked away, she didn't know how to answer that. She was going to try to say something when Boruto walked over to Mitsuki's bed and laid down. He wrapped the sheets around his body, taking in the sweet vanilla scent that belonged to Mitsuki.

Boruto felt a tear in his eye as he whispered, "If I had only felt the warmth within your touch… if I had only seen how you smile when you blush… or how you curl your lip when you concentrate enough… I would've known what I was living for…"

Sarada felt her heart aching for Boruto as the blonde let silent tears stream down his face as he spoke into Mitsuki's sheets, "Your love is my turning page… only the sweetest words remain… every kiss is a cursive line and every touch is a redefining phrase… I surrender who I've been for who you are cause nothing makes me stronger than your fragile heart… if I had only felt how it feels to be yours…"

The girl walked over and crawled into the bed, leaning against the back as she pulled Boruto to her. Neither of them said anything, Sarada just allowed Boruto to cry into her. They were both scared and upset, what was going to happen to Mitsuki?

Mitsuki had been drugged and beaten. His eyes were glassy and his body was shaking trying to fight off the drug. Mitsuki bit his lip as he tried to yank against the chakra restraints that kept his back to the wall. Mitsuki was on the floor, struggling to find a way to get free but the drug was too strong and he was still hurt from the wound be received earlier.

He had managed to heal the wound enough that the skin closed but there was still much pain surrounding that area. Mitsuki felt his body growing colder, as if he was developing a fever. He felt sweat dripping down his face and dampening his hair. He wasn't going to last much longer against this drug. Mitsuki felt water drip from his eyes, he was crying. He was never going to see his family again or Boruto or Sarada.

He was brought out of his thoughts when he heard an explosion. He tried to turn his head but he felt far too weak to even try. What was going on? He could faintly hear the sound of wind and water but he also heard people screaming bloody murder. He didn't even notice that someone had entered the room and released him from the shackles and then carried him out towards where he was hearing the fighting.

"One more move and the little snake gets it!"

Mitsuki was a crumpled mess on the floor, he couldn't even lift himself up but his golden yellow eyes managed to see just who was there. Another tear fell from his eyes as he saw that his family had come to rescue him. His father had come with Suigetsu, Karin, Jugo, and even his older brother. He couldn't even force a smile on his face.

"All of you, throw your weapons to the floor!"

"You do realize what happened to the last person who tried to harm my family, don't you?"

"…"

"They died…"

Before the man could say anything, a snake wrapped itself around him from behind. Orochimaru stepped forward, drawing a blade from his mouth and dragging the tip of it on the ground. When Orochimaru was standing before the man, he hissed, "I will make sure your death is slow and painful… you're going to wish I killed you quickly…"

Orochimaru stabbed the man but it wasn't serious enough to kill him, it was just enough to cause immense pain while keeping him alive. Orochimaru continued to stab at him until he looked over his shoulder and nodded for Suigetsu to have at him. The Kirigakure native grinned, showing off his sharp teeth. He walked over and drew his executioner blade and pointed it right at the man's right shoulder.

"I've got this nasty habit of cutting off limbs… I can't seem to break it…"

Before the man knew it, his right arm was cut off right at the shoulder. He screamed out in pain as the same happened to his left arm at the shoulder. Log walked over next and gripped the man by his hair and grabbed his blade from the holster on his back. He was about to cut his head off when he held the blade right at his throat. He smirked and moved back but kept his grip on the man's neck, exposing him so that Suigetsu had a clean cut to remove his head.

Mitsuki was slipping in and out of consciousness. He could feel someone pick him up and carry them in their arms. He could hear someone telling him to bite their arm but he could barely open his mouth. Someone opened his mouth for him and forced him to bite down on the arm. His eyes closed as he felt himself enveloped in a green chakra that seemed to heal him. Mitsuki opened his eyes and smiled softly.

"I knew you would come for me…"

Karin removed her arm when she felt as though he was fine again. Mitsuki wrapped his arms around her neck and hugged her, thanking her for healing him. She returned the hug and held him close to her body, savoring the feeling of her child with her again. Mitsuki felt two more pairs of arms wrap around them, he looked up to see that Suigetsu and Jugo had joined in. Suigetsu acted like he was reluctant to hug but Mitsuki knew he loved every second of it.

When his caretakers let go of him, he raced over to his brother and hugged him. Log dropped to the floor with his little brother, fighting back tears as he thought about losing Mitsuki. If they were never told about what happened then Mitsuki could've died or been lost forever. Log gasped when Orochimaru brought both of his sons towards him, a smile etched itself on the snake's face.

"It isn't like you to be so reckless, Mitsuki…"

"I know, father, but… I found my sun. I had to protect my sun."

"Who is your sun, child?"

"Boruto Uzumaki."

Everyone looked over as they saw Suigetsu pointing at everyone and screaming, "I knew it! I knew it! I told you all that Boruto was going to be his sun! Karin, you bitch, you owe me twenty dollars now! Pay up!"

Everyone laughed as they saw Karin punch Suigetsu into the ground. She fixed her glasses with a huff and then threw the money at him while he was on the ground. It was time for them to return to the Leaf.

When they arrived back in the village, Mitsuki was instantly tackled to the ground by a certain blonde. Mitsuki shook his head and gasped when Boruto lifted him up and held his hands as he spoke, "I'm a damn idiot, Mitsuki. I never realized how much it meant to you to officially be my lover. I was scared, you know? I wanted you all to myself but at the same time I was afraid of the commitment behind the label…"

Boruto looked away but then he stared into Mitsuki's golden yellow eyes as he spoke firmly, "But I'm not afraid anymore. I want that commitment with you, Mitsuki. I want to be your boyfriend and I want the whole village to know you belong to me. I want everyone to know just how much I love you and only you… be mine, Mitsuki."

"You are the sun to my moon… I have always been yours."

"I'm sorry it took me so long to-"

"I feel as though I have waited a hundred years but I would wait a million more for you."

"M-Mitsuki…"

Boruto spoke those same words before, Mitsuki was definitely the one for him. Suddenly Boruto was more aware that Mitsuki's family was there with them, listening to their entire conversation. Boruto grinned sheepishly back at them. Jugo was the first one to approach the duo, smiling down at them, "Take good care of him. He is one of the only ones who can stop my rampages… and now he is the only one who can complete you."

Boruto smiled and nodded at the orange haired man. Jugo walked back so that Karin could step forwards. She ran a hand through Mitsuki's hair before she spoke with a smile, "I remember the day you were created like it was yesterday… you're so perfect, Mitsuki… so you need to protect him, Boruto, keep him safe and loved, got it?"

The blonde nodded and gasped when he saw Suigetsu's sharp teeth when he grinned. Suigetsu put a hand on his hip as he spoke with a smirk, "You've been a pain in the ass since the day you were created if you ask me but… my life would be boring as shit without you. Make sure you take care of my brat, guppy."

Guppy? Boruto didn't understand why he was called that but he nodded regardless. Orochimaru was the next one to come forward. Boruto was instantly intimidated but he gasped as Orochimaru smiled, "You are the sun my child has grown so fond of. He is in your care while we are away and I put my trust in you. Don't disappoint me."

His last words made him cringe but then a man who looked like an older version of Mitsuki came walking over with a cigarette in his mouth. He breathed in and blew smoke out before he stated firmly, "He's my whole heart and I'll be damned if I get another call about him being taken because you couldn't protect him. I'm counting on you to keep my little brother safe…"

"Keep my heart happy."

Boruto and Mitsuki gasped as Log said those words. Log smiled at his brother and then poked at his chest right where his heart would be. Log shook his head before he spoke again, "I'll always be with you, Mitsuki… right there… I would part oceans for you."

Tears were in Mitsuki's eyes but he blinked them away as he smiled back at his brother. Log nodded and walked back over to the rest of his family. It was time for them to go home. Before they left, Mitsuki put two fingers where Log just poked and then pointed at his older brother. Log bit down on his cigarette as he grinned and mimicked Mitsuki.

They were gone again.

Tonight would be the first night they would go out as an official couple. Boruto could hardly keep his hands to himself as he watched Mitsuki dance around to a sort of samba like song. Mitsuki was wearing black skinny jeans again with a flowy light blue shirt while Boruto had the same kind of jeans on but with a black and red shirt on. All of their friends made a circle around them and let them dance around.

Mitsuki was being twirled around by Boruto when he smiled and sang beautifully, "What is love if it's not with you? I know when you're alone you feel it too… in your arms is where I long to be cause being with you gives me sanity…"

That voice always made Boruto's heart swell up with love. The two continued to dance with each other as their friends cheered for Mitsuki singing, "Oh, listen to me, darling, I wake up every morning thinking about the way you feel! Oh, I wonder if you know it… what good is the party if you're not around? Listen to me now…"

Boruto threw Mitsuki up in the air, who spun around before being caught by his lover. They were both smiling at each other and looked around as their friends were starting to join in around them. Mitsuki and Inojin turned to each other and danced with each other as Mitsuki sang, "What good is love? If it's not your love…"

"What good is love?"

"Am I your baby, love?" Inojin sang back.

"If it's not your love…"

"Is it a crazy love?"

Suddenly, the beat dropped and then changed as Iwabe walked out rapping slightly with a smirk on his face, "This is a crazy party! I'm so glad I'm here with everybody! Baby move your body, shake it to the ground! Break it, break it, break it, break it, break it down, Boruto!"

All eyes were on Boruto and the music even stopped to hear what he was going to sing. Mitsuki walked next to him and smiled, encouraging him to sing. Boruto sounded nervous as he finally sang, "What's a song if you can't hear it, too…?"

Everyone instantly started cheering for him and they all started dancing around when the music came back on. Mitsuki danced on Boruto as he sang back to his lover, "Can't imagine dancing without you…"

"A shooting star ain't really nothing to see…"

"If you're not right here standing next to me…"

Everything felt like it was moving in slow motion for Boruto and Mitsuki, all that mattered to them right now was each other. Their friends all danced around them as Boruto wrapped his arms around Mitsuki's waist and the blur haired boy snaked his arms around Boruto's neck. Their foreheads touched as they leaned in and looked into each other's eyes. This was perfect. They were right where they needed to be, with each other. They smiled at each other.

What good is love if it's not your love…

THE END! Now I know this isn't "Garden Growing from a Black Hole" but I got the idea for this story and I couldn't help but write this! It took me a long time to write because I wanted to cover a lot of things in it, such as Mitsuki's relationship to his family and then working on getting into a relationship with Boruto. I hope you all liked it and if you want me to write anything else or this pairing, please let me know!

Songs in order of appearance: "Saturn" by Sleeping at Last", "I Found" by Amber Run, "Pluto" by Sleeping at Last & "What Good is Love" by the Cast of Rio 2 but I would search "Rio 2 opening song" if you want to hear the version I used!

There may be an author's note coming soon so please stay tuned to that! Thank you for everything and I'm sorry for any mistakes!

Don't forget to favorite, follow, and review! :)

Leaf in Time: Kakashi the Copy Ninja & The Hero Boruto Uzumaki by Elevryn

Anime » Naruto Rated: M, English, Romance & Drama, Words: 8k+, Favs: 8, Follows: 7, Published: Jul 31, 2019 Updated: Aug 4, 2019

3Chapter 1

I do not own Naruto or any of the characters. This story contains mature themes and sexual content. It's my first fanfiction, so please rate and review! Also looking for an editor.

Enjoy~

Chapter 1: A Failed Timeline

Kakashi awoke, cold and alone. He propped himself up on one elbow, looking for Boruto with sleep in his eyes. This was the third day in a row Kakashi found himself alone in their makeshift grass bed, in their temporary hideout, thirty kilometers outside of a vacant town in the Land of Fire. The cave was dark, but the sun was beginning to rise over the mountains, and the fire at the mouth of the cave burned brightly. Kakashi dressed himself and left the cave he had called home for the past four weeks to find Boruto hugging his knees before a flame that was far too large. It had been some time since they last moved. But this location was comfortable and easy to guard. And as of late, Boruto had no mind for travelling or for surviving.

"Boruto," Kakashi began in a soft voice, "You know we can't have a fire that large. You're signalling our position."

Without looking up or missing a beat, Boruto replied, "There's no one left to see it Kakashi." He paused for a long time, leaving out the honorific, "You know that."

Kakashi examined the horizon and sighed. Boruto was right. It had been three months since they'd last seen even a trail of living humans. They knew some existed. Some carved territory for themselves in the new world and survived through the power of their taijutsu and bukijutsu. For the past eight months, since both Naruto and Sasuke died, Boruto and Kakashi mostly travelled continuously, looting towns that hadn't been completely depleted during the rampaging warfare that preceded the end of the world.

So much happened in the final act of the Shinobi Alliance. The Otsutsuki War raged on for five years and preluded the destruction of their future. Once, Kakashi had believed the world was changing with Naruto and Sasuke steering its direction. After decades of war and slaughter, the will for peace had never been greater.

Damn the Otsutsuki! Kakashi's mouth filled with the taste of iron and he spat the curse from his mouth. They brought a war no shinobi could prepare for. They murdered endlessly, and robbed the world of its chakra, leaving only what remained inside the survivors before leaving to devour chakra in another place. Ninja were no longer capable of replenishing their chakra; they must make do with what remains within as the world rots around them.

Beside Boruto now, Kakashi draped his arm over the younger man's shoulder and pulled him back from the flame. "There are others out there, Boruto. Ex ninja that might be desperate enough to attack us for supplies, or god knows what. And if Juugo finds us again, we're dead."

Boruto flinched at Kakashi's remarks. They encountered Juugo a few weeks after the world began decaying and depleted nearly half their remaining chakra attempting to escape his murderous rage. "Juugo is far away. I doubt he's even in the Land of Fire. If anything, he's continuing his rampage West, and he'll never stop." Though Boruto said this knowing that they were located East of Juugo, an uncaged monster who thrived in a world depleted of chakra due to his ability to wield nature energy. "The remaining ninja don't have the chakra for a serious battle. Even between us, we might only have enough left for a few jutsu."

Kakashi nodded, not saying anything. His fingers tightened around Boruto's shoulder. He thought about what might happen once the remainder of the world's chakra disappeared. In the eight months since Naruto's death and the end of the war, society crumbled, and soon, the natural world followed. Trees no longer sprouted from the ground. Grass turned yellow, then brown, then to dust. The Land of Fire, once known for its lush landscape was now a wasteland that reminded any survivors of their failures. The countryside loosely held the bodies of his comrades, hastily buried as they fled the final onslaught from the Otsutsuki.

Anything… Did anything I fought for matter? Kakashi shut his eyes, willing the thoughts to leave before they couldn't be chased away. Obito…. Rin… I'm sorry. I failed again and again. He was a Kage of nothing, capable only of saving his own worthless life, and the life of a boy whose father changed the world, and who Kakashi thought, if the world had been kinder, would lead the next generation.

Boruto interjected Kakashi's thoughts as the teenager pushed his head into the nape of Kakashi's neck. The sun, now fully above the crest of the mountains, glimmered through Boruto's golden hair. "Kakashi…" Boruto took a deep breath, inhaling the scent of the man he depended on and found comfort in it, "What are we surviving for?" He asked, knowing that as the world dies, so too would the remainder of humanity.

Kakashi sighed, taking a moment to look at his young lover. In the morning light, Boruto's youthful features matured, and the boy looked like a young man. His eyes reflected the history of his life; born in peace, now living without purpose. "You're enough for me Boruto. You keep me going." Kakashi held the boy's gaze until Boruto broke it. The truth was—Kakashi was ready to die. He had prepared mentally for it his entire life and couldn't imagine dying a better death; he finally found love and would gladly die for it when the time came.

"My father… what would he have done now?"

Kakashi frowned at the mention of his deceased student, "Naruto? Well, he would probably chase a ghost of hope if it meant even the slightest chance of saving you from this hell." At his response, Boruto retreated into his mind, reflecting on something he would not share with Kakashi. By now, Kakashi knew Boruto's mood swings well enough to let the boy work through them himself. Boruto would come to Kakashi when he was ready.

Kakashi forced a smile, knowing the difference between himself and Naruto. After decades of loss, Kakashi knew when it was time to give in to destiny's plan. Though he and the others had been deceived, thinking that redemption for the ninja world was possible, Kakashi knew now that fate, ever mischievous, would find a way to set the dominoes in motion. Destruction was inevitable, whether it was Orochimaru, the Akatsuki, or the Otsutsuki. Fate was fortunate to have its pick of egos as it selected who would destroy the ninja world's salvation. The world as it was, was inevitable.

It wasn't entirely bad. In the year of preparation before the Otsutsuki War, known as the Absent Year, Kakashi had worked closely with Boruto. Naruto assigned Kakashi as captain of the Konoha Division of the Shinobi Alliance. Reaching maturity, Boruto, with his Karma seal, and his Jougan became an invaluable weapon for the alliance. Kakashi would spend hours with the young man, preparing him for missions that only he with his threatening dual powers, could accomplish. He acted as sensei to the budding leaf and passed on his knowledge of jutsu. Boruto would inherit many of Kakashi's lethal lightning ninjutsu, as well as his keen battle intellect.

It was in those moments that Kakashi grew to love Boruto. Even though he knew it was wrong, Kakashi was perverted at heart, the product of an era where ninja were introduced to sexual art and manipulation at a young age without second thought. He thought that Boruto would never return his feelings, yet still the image of his smaller, toned frame against his own drove him wild with a lust he was grossly accustomed to. As a young ninja, he himself had partaken in sex with older men and women. But the ninja of this generation were different. Without the constant threat of war and with the economy stabilized, the need for young ninja to play this role faded, especially in Konoha. The sexualization of warfare life, and the power politics of sex nearly disappeared in the peace that Naruto and Sasuke brought.

Until the onslaught of the Otsutsuki war, which lasted five years, and would cause the decimation of the ninja world. Suddenly, with the threat of death returned once more to the world, society turned to depravity. When the Leaf fell, Kakashi ensured Boruto was by his side. When Naruto died, and the world was drained of its chakra, the two ninja survived with a small group of shinobi: Sarada, Konahamaru, and a few others. In the struggle to adapt without the use of their abilities, their numbers quickly dwindled. Konahamaru left in search of Mount Myoboku. Sarada, true to herself until the end, sacrificed her life to save Boruto's during Juugo's onslaught.

She spoke her final words then, "Let this world end. But let a new era of Kakashi the Copy Ninja begin." She died in Boruto's arms, blind and smiling. Those words she spoke never left Boruto.

Boruto returned from his mind before Kakashi did and turned the older man's chin towards his face. Looking into Kakashi's dark eyes, currently sealed to prevent the Sharingan's chakra drain, he inched his face closer towards Kakashi and gently kissed his lips.

"You always disappear like that." Boruto chided him.

"I follow you when you go, Boruto."

"Always?"

"Always." Kakashi replied.

In a moment, Boruto had pulled Kakashi by his shirt on top of him and away from the fire. Their lips were locked in a passionate kiss, and Boruto wrapped his legs around Kakashi's waist. Though he was surprised by Boruto's forwardness, Kakashi moaned softly in response and closed his eyes.

They had only gone so far together. Their relationship had only become intimate in the past year, and it happened slowly. The pace Boruto allowed Kakashi into his heart was glacial. To Boruto, it was an admittance that the war was lost and over. For a long time, he denied himself as he denied the hopeless reality he lived in.

It started with Boruto and Kakashi sharing a bed; he felt safer that way. But the closer Boruto got to Kakashi, the more he failed to resist his natural desires. He remembered vividly, the first time he saw Kakashi's face and the handsome lips he seldom stretched into a smile. Kakashi was older than him, and though it was strange to Boruto at first, he found himself desiring the maturity and masculinity that Kakashi had.

Kakashi leaned up and removed his shirt, then did the same for Boruto. They each took a moment to admire the other's body, then fell back into the rhythm of kissing and grinding.

Just as Kakashi began to picture the tip of his thick dick inside Boruto's young mouth, the only sex he was familiar with the boy, Boruto broke away from their shared kiss and rested his head against Kakashi's pecs.

"I'm ready now, Kakashi." Boruto said softly, his lips against his partner's skin.

"Boruto?" Kakashi replied, unsure of what he heard.

Boruto placed his hand on Kakashi's swelling member and spoke confidently, "I want you to fuck me, Kakashi-sama."

Kakashi shuddered at Boruto's admission and his submissive demeanor. He leaned down into Boruto, pressing his groin against Boruto's ass.

"I'll only ask this once. Are you sure? Here, in the dirt?" Kakashi was already panting and erect. This was his fantasy.

"Yes… please."

Kakashi didn't need to hear anything else. Quickly, he and Boruto undressed themselves. Normally, Kakashi and Boruto would only perform oral. Boruto was afraid of the pain Kakashi's large dick would cause him. Now though, it didn't matter. Kakashi's primal desires had taken over, and quickly Boruto was flipped around, his ass in the air. There would be no time for Boruto to get his fix of Kakashi's cock in his mouth.

Boruto reddened as his bare ass was exposed to Kakashi, who leaned in and smelled his lover's entrance. With a soft moan, he spread Boruto's cheeks and gently massaged his tongue along the boy's taint, eliciting a quiet yelp and shudder from his virgin lover. Kakashi's hand found Boruto's dick and began stroking it, and his tongue slowly entered his tight hole. His eyes rolled back in his head at the taste. When he felt Boruto relax at his assault, he spit on his entrance and slowly pushed in a finger.

As Kakashi prepared Boruto, the younger man made a show of arching his back and wiggling his ass. He knew Kakashi loved it when Boruto reacted to his touch, and he couldn't deny, it felt good.

Kakashi withdrew his fingers and helped Boruto up. On his hands and knees, he waited patiently as Kakashi spit on his swollen cock. He pressed his thick mushroom tip against Boruto's entrance and rubbed against it, causing Boruto to shut his eyes and moan.

"Ah.. Kakashi… please…" Boruto spoke softly.

Kakashi groaned, stunned that a boy who was previously so sexually reluctant would beg so vulnerably. His hand found Boruto's ass and gripped it tightly, squeezing and smacking it. He was rubbing his cock up and down Boruto's wet ass, working himself up as he groped the younger man. With one hand, he stroked his lubed cock until it dripped precum, and with the other, Kakashi touched Boruto's muscles, losing himself in the thought of Boruto's young, muscular body belonging to him. Finally, Kakashi leaned down and pressed his cock gently into Boruto's entrance. He bit down on Boruto's ear as he forced the tip of his dick inside. Boruto winced and yelled in pain. "Is this what you wanted?" Kakashi purred.

Just as it popped in, Boruto began begging, "Please take it out! It hurts!" Boruto squealed, wiggling under Kakashi's larger body.

Kakashi responded by wrapping his arms around the boy's body. He kissed Boruto's cheek, who by now was panting and whining. "You said you were ready Boruto." He moved his hips so that his dick would retreat a little, only to push deeper into Boruto's virgin hole. He moaned as his cock was enveloped in a tight heat. "Show me you're ready baby. Come on…" He covered Boruto's face and neck in kisses, He couldn't stop now. It was all he could do to keep himself from not forcing himself in completely.

"Kakashi…"

Kakashi waited for Boruto's body to relax under him. He turned the boy's cheek, who meekly allowed his body to be controlled, and kissed him gently. Slowly, Kakashi pressed his tongue into Boruto's mouth, and brought his lover into arousal. His cock was waiting and began to slide into Boruto.

The blond moaned loudly, almost whining. He threw his head back onto Kakashi's body and cursed, "Fuck!"

When Kakashi had bottomed out, he looked down to see his big cock twitching inside Boruto's hole. The poor boy's entrance was puffy and red, but he fit, barely. Kakashi gently moved his hips in a slow rhythm and Boruto responded by pushing himself against every thrust. Boruto's face was bright red, and he couldn't make eye contact with Kakashi.

Kakashi chuckled and pulled out of Boruto.

"Eh? It was just starting to feel good Kakashi." Boruto turned his head around and whimpered.

Kakashi responded by laying on his back. He took Boruto's hands, "Ride me. I want to see your face as you discover how much you love my dick. I want to watch you cum all over my body, just as I breed that sweet boy pussy. Come on baby."

Boruto wasted no time climbing onto his lover. He loved it when Kakashi talked dirty and responded coyly, "Yes sensei, I'm going to be your cumslut!" Boruto roared in pleasure as he slammed himself onto Kakashi's enormous member. He didn't hesitate and gyrated his hips in circles, stretching his insides. He had never felt such a wonderful heat before. The pain was there, but the pleasure was overwhelming. It made the tightness and that painful heat he felt addicting.

Kakashi's body flexed and tightened as Boruto's tight hole milked his throbbing cock. His hands found Boruto's hips and he gripped them tightly, pulling Boruto down to fuck him harder. "Kakashi it feels so good!"

"Boruto…I love you." Kakashi replied.

Boruto leaned down, slowing his pace and kissed Kakashi sweetly. "I love you too Kakashi." He wrapped his arms around Kakashi's neck, so their faces were close. Kakashi began to thrust his cock inside Boruto, timing it with Boruto's effort to ride him. Kakashi's massive dick was tearing Boruto apart inside, who could do nothing but moan uncontrollably as Kakashi took over. With each thrust, Kakashi filled Boruto's hole with precum, striking something inside him that made him weak.

Kakashi's fingertips dug into Boruto's skin and he spoke in a husky voice, "I'm close Boruto… I can't last much longer."

Boruto replied in a high pitch voice, "Kakashi!" His entire body shook, and he closed his eyes, "I'm cumming! Now!" Boruto's eyes sprang open and his pupils dilated. His orgasm came suddenly and washed over his entire body. Without understanding what was overtaking his body, Boruto's tongue hung from his mouth, and he panted as an intense heat washed over him.

"Oh god! Yes! Cum in me Kakashi!" Boruto screamed.

As Boruto began to shoot multiple ropes of hot teenage cum all over Kakashi's thick abs, Kakashi slammed himself into Boruto one final time. His hands squeezed his partner's ass roughly, pulling them apart so he could push in deeper. His cock twitched and he roared in pleasure. "Oh fuck baby! Yeah! Take all my cum boy!" He leaned up and kissed Boruto as his load spilled deep inside the boy, filling him. Boruto was shaking in his arms as the final spurts of cum dripped from his dick.

Boruto moaned into the kiss and continued to slowly ride Kakashi's cock, coming down from his high. As the pleasure began to fade, replaced by a dull pain, he watched the older man's face as his ass tightened around his swollen and twitching member. Kakashi was completely lost in pleasure, laying back panting as Boruto teased his sensitive cock. Still stunned that he finally took Boruto, after all these months, Kakashi couldn't help the stupid grin on his face.

"You're amazing Boruto." Kakashi smiled.

Boruto laid his smaller body onto Kakashi's and rested there. His hands roamed the man's body as their breathing synced. Slowly, Kakashi's dick softened, but remained inside Boruto. After some time had passed, Boruto leaned up and looked Kakashi in the eyes that sealed his friend's sharingan.

"Kakashi," he began in a serious voice, "I've decided."

Kakashi looked up, realizing that Boruto's behaviour these past few days hadn't been his regular mood swings. His mind reflexively darkened. Is he ready to die?

Boruto looked into the eyes of his older lover. The Hokage he had known as a child. The sensei that drilled jutsu into him, and the commander that lead him to survive despite the odds. He placed his hand softly on Kakashi's cheek and smiled, knowing the turmoil inside Kakashi that lead him into nihilism.

Just once more, Kakashi would be asked to stand tall against the spiral of darkness that rages eternally in this world. A force that malevolently stole Kakashi's family and happiness. To Boruto, Kakashi was like Atlas; a man preventing the fall of the sky. Boruto wondered, if after all these years, Kakashi's strong knees would finally buckle under the weight of his responsibility.

Naruto lived on in Boruto. And so long as that ember of hope existed in this world, the hope and ideology Naruto preached, the story of Ninja was not yet over.

"I'm going to perform one last jutsu." Boruto began, building confidence as he spoke, "Then together," he placed his forehead on Kakashi's and closed his eyes, "we will build the world my father dreamed of."

Kakashi's eyes widened and we he was stunned into silence, believing that Boruto intended to die from the release of his remaining chakra. Somehow, he would find a way to live through the world's remaining days, with Boruto by his side. That was the only dream he had left.

2

Chapter Two: Embers Burning on a Budding Leaf

That night, Boruto explained the idea he had been mulling over and why he had been so reclusive. After calming Kakashi down, who was immediately concerned about Boruto's intentions, Boruto explained his theory. The words tumbled from his mouth messily as he tried to convey his will for salvation to Kakashi, a man whom he had a complicated relationship with and who felt the defeat of the war more than any Shinobi Boruto remembered. Boruto understood that. The weight of the Jougan and the abilities it granted him was unbearable. As he slowly realized what his eye was capable of, Boruto, much like his sensei, cycled through fear and dejection. He was balancing the worth of his life and the weight of the world. And while he mulled, he lost himself for weeks. Away from Kakashi. Running from himself and from destiny. He willed himself into inaction and found peace in his partner's acceptance of fate. But Kakashi's eyes were a constant reminder, and he felt Sarada's will and the strength of his father inside him.

This was his Nindo. This would be history's climax, and Boruto would lead them to it. "It's messy, I know that. Theoretically," Boruto broke eye contact as he began to explain, causing Kakashi to frown, "I can travel between dimensions, like Sasuke-sensei, so why shouldn't I be able to affect time?"

Kakashi looked at Boruto in disbelief. Time travel ninjutsu only existed in mythology. Nonetheless, he allowed Boruto to continue.

"Believe me, I tried. When Dad died I…" Boruto took a deep breath. "I used my eye, and I found something I couldn't see, but I could tell something wasn't there. When I tried to look at it…" Boruto held his hands up and mimed an explosion, "it was like an invisible barrier. I almost died before I managed to look away."

It was times like this that Kakashi felt self-conscious of his eyes. He was grateful for the gift Sarada bestowed on him; he only survived the coming months because of it. But now, he had no use for the Sharingan, no one to battle. And with a single glance, the eyes of Boruto's dead friend triggered the memory of her death in the teenager, leaving Kakashi to yearn for Boruto's attention.

"Boruto," Kakashi began in a quiet voice. He didn't know that Boruto had attempted such a risky jutsu and it confused him that Boruto hadn't told him, "Your eye has inherent draw backs. How many times do I have to tell you to only use it in the ways we've confirmed through safe methodology?"

In response to Kakashi's chiding, Boruto closed his eyes and smiled bashfully. "I'll be fine Kakashi! Listen to what I have to say." His sensei kept him cautious. While he was grateful for his protection, Boruto believed it was now his time, as a ninja of the next generation, to protect his sensei and the world.

Kakashi listened to the remainder of his theory. Boruto was a prodigy by nature, but the complexity of his proposed jutsu took time to communicate. Sometimes with chakra, intuition was the guiding force. You had to get a sense of it before you could understand the technique. He explained to his sensei that he believed the wall he experienced when he searched a chrono-dimension was nature energy. It made sense, he stressed. Nature energy was the blood of this world. It was the force of life and chakra in mysterious ways. For it to be required for time manipulation meant that the fabric of time was somehow connected to nature energy.

"But like I said," Kakashi interjected, "You have no safe way to prove your theory."

Boruto replied without hesitation, "This world was robbed of chakra. The world dies, but time continues. Nature energy continues. Juugo in the West and Konohamaru at Mount Myoboku."

"That's not good enough!"

"It has to be damn it! What else is there? Are you saying we should die Kakashi? You want to die with me, is that it?" Boruto screamed, his eyes watering. He knew Kakashi was depressed, and it was a topic he refused to confront under normal circumstances. This time, however, Boruto needed Kakashi to be the Hokage he once was.

Kakashi, wide-eyed, could not respond. If he spoke now, everything he kept guarded and caged deep within his heart would spill from his lips. Yes…. He felt that word rooted deep within his soul. It echoed inside of him and rang pleasure onto his tormented mind.

"I can do this, Kakashi. I want to live, Kakashi," Boruto spoke, his voice trembling slightly as he repeated his lover's name, "I want to save everyone." You, included, Boruto thought to himself.He

"But neither of us can use nature energy."

This time, Boruto frowned. He knew enough to know that Kakashi was hiding the information he needed. "Dad told me there were two ways to travel to the toad village. You can be summoned, or you can travel a month's journey on a secret path. The connection between the toads and Konohagakure runs deep in our history."

"And as Hokage, I would know that path. That's what you're saying?"

"That's exactly what I'm saying."

Kakashi exhaled and fell onto his back without care. "You're a real smart ass Boruto. You really are his son." Kakashi shut his eyes and almost chuckled. Naruto made it a habit to challenge Kakashi's hardened preconceptions, and now, so did his son. The same boy who Kakashi had spent a year loving and a morning claiming as his own. With a shudder, Kakashi chased away the dark thought that threatened his mind. He wasn't glad Naruto was dead. But he was relieved that the most frightening shinobi in history was not here to witness Kakashi's indominable love for his son.

Without waiting for Kakashi to ask his next question, Boruto answered it, "Konohamaru can give us the nature energy I need to open the portal."

"But you don't know the risks. There must be consequences of a jutsu of that magnitude." Kakashi argued. There was always risk to advanced jutsu. And though he knew nothing of time manipulation jutsu, the wisdom he gathered over the years confirmed the truth that powerful jutsu required sacrifice. Resurrection and immortality, genjutsu and senjutsu, they all had consequences.

"It would be worse to die without trying. I am still a shinobi." Finally, Boruto looked into Kakashi's black eyes and held the man's gaze with conviction. The history the two of them shared, the blood of their comrades and the fate of the world, everything rested upon the decisions the two of them made. It was Boruto who realized this first. The weight of this realization had caused him to isolate himself emotionally from Kakashi for weeks. They remained in the cave at his request as he internally debated whether the world was worth dying for, worth leaving Kakashi for, or whether to finally admit his failure in the Otsutsuki war. He failed to protect his father and the Leaf, and then, the world. More than anything, Boruto wanted to shed the unbearable sensation of grief that plagued him at the end of days.

"This is the history of Shinobi, you know. This is the story of Boruto Uzumaki. This is our story, Kakashi-sensei."

Against his better judgement, Kakashi relented. That night, the two packed their camp onto their backs and journeyed to Konohagakure, where the path began. Boruto walked ahead of Kakashi silently. Kakashi followed in contemplation, wishing he knew more about the Jougan. He thought about the time he spent with Boruto, and how the boy would fade in and out of being present. Sometimes he would yearn for Kakashi's touch, or his voice. Then he would be distant for weeks. They would traverse the dying landscape in silence until finally Boruto returned to himself. And ever since Sarada gave Kakashi her Mangekyou Sharingan, Boruto withdrew further and further.

Together, these odd companions took the first steps of an odyssey to avert the end of the world. Side by side, Kakashi guided them along the path that was his privilege as Hokage to know. A few days into their journey, they encountered a problem. The landscape had decayed to an unrecognizable point. A massive forest of rotting trees stood before the two awestruck ninjas.

"There isn't much time left, is there?" Boruto asked.

"When the chakra in ninja finally fades, my guess is that the remaining life will dry up too."

It took them a few days, but they performed a grid search spanning several kilometres in several directions, looking for the next recognizable landmark in Kakashi's memory. When they reached a stream that ran parallel to the mountains, they followed it South towards the coast for two weeks. The walk was painful in the dead heat of summer. By the end of the second week, with their food stores well depleted, Kakashi and Boruto turned to the soldier pills they preserved for emergencies. The water in the stream was poisoned from the surrounding rot, and to be made drinkable, required purifying. Each time they replenished their water, they risked exposure. The mental pressure soon mounted, and Boruto festered anxiously as they walked. Noticing this, Kakashi felt the responsibility of scouting for threats wear away his will to continue.

"Just a little farther." Kakashi told Boruto as they neared the summit of a small hill. The next landmark, dual mountain peaks standing tall against one another with a lush forest the Land of Fire was accustomed, was close.

"You said that to me yesterday." Boruto replied, and Kakashi could hear how dry his mouth was. He offered the boy the remainder of his canteen and watched him drink it greedily.

"Well I mean it this time!"

This was difficult, even for a ninja. At their previous location, Kakashi and Boruto were lucky that the surrounded landscape was well preserved. Food was stable. The water was clean. The transition to scarcity shocked their bodies, causing Boruto to swear himself to train his body to be stronger for the coming battles. He needed a body that was incomparable.

Finally, they saw the mountains. But what restored their energy was the sight of a forest that wasn't rotten. It was a small pocket of paradise to the weary travellers, and they rushed towards it.

"There's gotta be water there!" Boruto yelled.

"Boruto!" Kakashi cried out, holding his arm out. "Don't run ahead like that!" He quickly increased his pace, chasing after the other. He felt the age in his muscles now as they flexed in agony, shocking him with each stride he took. He remembered the stamina he had in his prime and admonished himself for his current state. What a sorry excuse, he thought of age. More than ever, he was jealous of Boruto for his youth.

Boruto laughed at his sensei and retorted darkly, "As if, Kakashi-sensei!" Why were the young always so carefree?

Boruto slipped into the treeline a few paces ahead of Kakashi and when the image of his lover disappeared from his sight, Kakashi's heart tightened. Pushing himself, he ran faster. He jumped into the treetops and scanned the surrounding area for Boruto. With the teenager gone, Kakashi panicked and opened his mouth to shout Boruto's name.

Just as he inhaled, he heard a shout from the direction ahead of him, and the flutter and cawing of crows flying away in distress. Kakashi dropped his pack and grabbed a kunai from his weapon pouch. I told him not to go ahead of me. Oh gods, Boruto! Kakashi's mind spiraled. Time seemed to slow from his perspective, as in the span of a few seconds, he processed the intense terror he felt, then committed himself acting.

He was, after all, still Kakashi of the Sharingan.

He barely had any chakra left. He was lying to Boruto about his chakra stores since they battled Juugo, and he likely only had enough to perform a couple of techniques before he died. Accepting that fate instantly, Kakashi's powerful legs leapt across the treescape. He moved with precision and speed until he reached a small clearing one hundred metres into the forest. Silencing himself and hiding his presence, he saw Boruto on his knees. His eyes were completely white as his eyes retreated into his head. His jaw hung open, and he hummed meekly.

A man wearing dirty robes was standing behind him, one hand around Boruto's neck and the other on his head. The man looked around anxiously, as if he were expecting Kakashi's intervention. Without understanding what was happening, Kakashi couldn't proceed. He needed information, and to get it, he needed his Sharingan. He weaved the sign to release the seal on his eyes. He obtained the jutsu to seal his eyes from Boruto, who learned it from an ancient Uzumaki text that Sasuke uncovered in his research of the Otsutsuki. Much like Ao of this Mist, Kakashi could activate and deactivate his Sharingan because the jutsu forcefully sealed a foreign Kekkei Genkai. One again, he was grateful to Sarada. Without her gift, both he and Boruto would have surely died soon after she did.

As his red eyes flared, assessing the battlefield, Kakashi staggered from the immediate sensation of chakra loss. He felt dizzy and weak, but he focused his attention on Boruto. He was desperate to save his lover but was already reaching his physical limit. He counted the seconds in his mind as he analyzed the scene. Boruto's small chakra pool was being drained from the chakra points in his head. He recognized the technique as a hidden jutsu of the Leaf, belonging to the Akado Clan, where the user absorbs chakra upon physical contact.

He smirked. How fortunate.ow Fortunedas

With enough chakra left to perform his Mangekyou Sharingan combination only once and a few small scale jutsu before he would die from chakra exhaustion, Kakashi activated his eyes. The red commas swirled in his irises and transformed into a new pattern; swirling black fractals that made his eyes look like lenses. He bound the chakra to his left eye and released the jutsu.

Omoikane! His left Sharingan danced.

The jutsu allowed Kakashi to analyse and copy any jutsu. Kekkei Genkai or Touta, hidden jutsu, anything. The only thing beyond his capacity of copying was copying Kekkei Genkai that required specific DNA like the Byakugan. And then with his right eye…

"Don't move." A voice came from behind him and Kakashi felt the edge of a kunai against his neck. He raised his hands slowly, feigning it as a reflex of submission, but Kakashi had already made his move. Wielding two eyes, little escaped his vantage in the battlefield.

The ninja, who Kakashi assumed was the Akado clan's partner, quickly slashed the backs of Kakashi's knees, causing him to fall to his knees for a moment. This tactic confirmed to Kakashi that they operated by immobilizing their target in order to drain their chakra. What a painful death, Kakashi remarked.

But it wasn't Kakashi who fell to his knees. True to his nature and quick to weave signs, Kakashi had substituted himself with a log, and attached his last paper bomb. The fuse was nearly lit, and Kakashi performed another jutsu, Earth Style: Head Hunter.

"Kozuki, get away!" The ninja managed to scream before the explosion set off. Though he tried to flee, his right leg was blown off and his arm severely burned. He fell into the grass and died moments later, completely deaf and numb to his pain. Bleeding out, the nameless ninja felt comfort in the grass as it got warmer and warmer. Finally, he closed his eyes, probably thinking he would sleep and wake up in the morning.

Kozuki, a ninja Kakashi knew and assigned missions to as Hokage, shouted as he watched his friend explode. He reacted by dropping Boruto on the ground and relaxing his guard. At that moment, Kakashi's hands sprung from the softened earth and he pulled the shinobi into the ground, sealing his movement. Above ground, Kakashi did not hesitate and ran to Boruto. Kozuki cursed and screamed in anger at first, then began to cry and wail. Kakashi took Boruto into his arms and checked his vital signs. When he saw that the boy was weak, but stable, he sighed with relief. With his Sharingan he could see the small pool of chakra Boruto had left. He would survive.

With the anxiety of losing Boruto released, Kakashi turned around to see the head of a young ninja he once commanded. He stepped forward to the man and lifted one hand into the air, and with the other, held his elbow like he would if he were to perform the Lightning Blade. His Sharingan once again flashed in his eyes, and he cast his next jutsu.

Hachiman! The technique in his right eye. With it, Kakashi activated the Hidden Jutsu he copied. Now standing above a whimpering Kozuki, Kakashi bent down on one knee.

"P-please! Don't! No! You were my Hokage, Kakashi-sama, please don't do this!" He begged, and he continued to beg as Kakashi placed his hand on the head of his opponent trapped in the earth. He felt a rush of chakra flood into him and after several minutes, he marveled at his newfound chakra level. He released Kozuki's head, and it fell to the side. His eyes stayed open, lifeless.

There were probably few enough shinobi in the world that Kakashi could count them on his fingers. Two of them lay before him dead, and one unconscious. In the end, the value of their lives wasn't inherent, but dependent on the bonds they formed with others who could protect them. He took Boruto into his arms and began returning to the location of their supplies where he could feed the teenager food pills. Then he would prioritize water and shelter. Fortunately, the vitality of the forest meant that what Boruto desperately needed was readily available. Stronger now, thanks to the chakra he absorbed, he clutched Boruto to his chest tightly and whispered to him.

"I will never let you go again, Boruto. I promise. I'll be with you until the end." Kakashi spoke from his heart. He felt a weakness he could not explain when he wasn't with Boruto that he hadn't noticed in the past year because he had been with Boruto consistently. "Always Boruto, in any time you desire."

That night, he never left Boruto. He even expended chakra to create a clone that could fetch water and assist him in setting up camp, attending to Boruto, and guarding the camp. He revelled at the usefulness of the Akado jutsu that absorbs chakra. Kozuki might have been the last remaining ninja on this world before it died, and if that was his destiny, Kakashi considered the death he gave the younger ninja a mercy. He moved on with conviction, willfully choosing to not consider the impact his growing body count would have on his mind.

They rested for three more days and would have taken longer if Boruto had not chased away Kakashi's obsessive protection. If it were up to Kakashi, they'd have stayed a week, but Boruto knew that both he and the world did not have the luxury of time. At his will, the two continued their journey as soon as Boruto felt enough of his strength return. Walking now with great caution to the edge of the Land of Fire, restoring their water only when necessary rather than risking constant fires, foraging where they could when it was safe, and taking turns keeping watch as they slept. It continued like this for ten more days until they both felt lost and weary. But they committed to their routine and maintained it like clockwork. Kakashi was relentless in his mission to protect Boruto on this journey, even if he doubted its worth entirely. The longer they walked, the more Kakashi wondered about the consequences Boruto, and any time-traveller, would face. It had never been theorized, tested, or performed. The requirements were unknown, and Boruto's theory was entirely intuition.

On the final day of their journey, after traversing an unrecognizable wasteland for three days in desperation, Kakashi's jaw fell open at what he saw, and he called Boruto to his side. "Boruto, get over here, you have to see this!"

It took him some time, as he was slower now and a couple of paces behind his sensei. But when he did arrive, he laughed, and leaned onto Kakashi's shoulder. It was the most amazing thing he had ever seen. At the top of the hill they were on, they could see a valley that stretched across the horizon, going deeper and deeper until it seemed to disappear entirely. But the surgency of life and vitality was not the most surprising thing. What shocked them both was that they didn't recognize a single plant or creature. Every blade of grass and tree, every insect and bird, they were all foreign creatures. The ninjas were still well within the country where they knew every facet of its geography, yet they stumbled into a place so strange and foreign it seemed surreal.

"How is this possible?" Boruto asked.

"I'm not sure." Kakashi was puzzled. Mount Myoboku was a secluded region located within their world. It was accessible, but only to those that were summoned, or followed the path. At the end of their journey, Kakashi expected to find an overgrown well that they would then jump into. They would then fall from the sky in the Land of the Toads. But this was unnatural. It looked to Kakashi like the environment of the Toad Village was spilling out of its container in abundance and overtaking the dead environment surrounding it. Kakashi could see that some of the forest that existed before remained as husks of stone, probably morphed by the nature energy itself. "Do you think it's related to nature energy?" Kakashi asked, wondering if they were witnessing the risks of the energy they were attempting to wield. There's no way I'll let him bear this burden. It would be unforgivable.

Boruto looked down at his ankles and watched as a white snake with purple spots slithered past him without a care in the world, holding an oddly coloured toad in its jaw. He stood still, knowing not to move. He waited for it to pass into the tall grass before he answered, "It must be. That snake looked a lot like the sage I met at Ryuichi Cave."

The snake was well fed and an important piece of the immense change that was ongoing in the world. It was pregnant and would soon give birth to a new species born from nature energy. It, like many other creatures in the terrains expanding from the sage regions, was the mother of an entirely new form of life. Though the two ninjas did not realize it, they would soon bear witness to a spectacular genesis of life that would replace the chakra-based world that would soon die.

Beholden to the wonder that surrounded them, and without an explanation to the seemingly illogical environment they found themselves, both Kakashi and Boruto lowered their guard. They were fragile after a month's long journey that began with their intimate connection and ended with their bodies and spirits nearly broken. Kakashi yearned for a night to hold Boruto's soft clean body in his arms. But Boruto no longer had anything on his mind other than the portal that he couldn't see. Each step brought him closer to his objective, and his desire to alter the timeline burned from a will to save humanity into an obsession that fueled his existence. Failure was no longer an option. He would see to it for his father, and for all his dead friends. He would take the world into his hands and oppose Black Zetsu, the Akatsuki, the Otsutsuki, and any other who stood in his way. He was swarmed with a sense of righteous justice, and in this moment, failed to notice the rapidly approaching chakra to their left.

"I would expect more from ninjas of your caliber." A strong voice spoke from the brush of the forest. They heard rustling as the leaves parted and quickly turned to face the unknown presence. Though they saw the leaves move, a moment later, nothing arrived. Instead, they heard a voice from behind them speak in a non-threatening tone, "But then, neither of you could hold a candle to me now anyways." The man laughed, and instantly, Boruto recognized his sensei.

The teenager turned around threw his arms around his lost friend. He hugged the Jonin tightly, happy to see that he still wore his familiar blue scarf. He smelled different, Boruto noticed as the hug continued for several minutes.

"I missed you too, buddy. I'm glad to see you again, before… well…" Konohamaru stammered.

They stayed like that a while longer until Kakashi cleared his throat. He walked over to Konohamaru and smiled, in turn giving the man a warm hug. It really was him, Kakashi reflected, but something was different about him now.

"We've come so far," Kakashi said.

"I know. The Great Toad Sage told me everything. He's waiting for you at the village. Come on, I'll take you there, and we can talk on the way." Konohamaru smiled, his hand still on his student's shoulder. He didn't believe the sage when he said he would see his student again, and in a way he was both familiar with and had forgotten. But now, as the blond ninja and the Sixth Hokage stood before him, Konohamaru began to believe more in prophecies, though he still didn't understand the second half of Gamamaru's rambling.

"No, wait." Boruto began, resisting Konohamaru's tugging. "We need you, Konohamaru-niisan, please."

At that, Konohamaru smiled and took his student's hand in his own. "There's still time Boruto. Nothing will happen until you meet Gamamaru. He says you have a decision to make."

"A decision?" Kakashi asked Konohamaru.

"He wouldn't tell me more, Kakashi-sama. But we've been waiting for you for a long time. The forest has grown so much in that time, Ma and Pa were beginning to worry you wouldn't make it. You're going to get an earful, you know. And I hope you're hungry!" Konohamaru laughed. His energy completely changed the dynamic Kakashi and Boruto had after their journey. His lightheartedness fed their need for vitality, and like hungry wolves, they fed on him. Soon, the two were walking in stride together beside a man Kakashi had truly believed was dead. His own intuition told him that Boruto was right, and that Konohamaru had mastered nature energy and truly could provide them the energy they needed.

But as they walked further into the valley, a sense of dread loomed over Kakashi. It felt like there was a pair of eyes watching him at every moment from all angles but was too far away too detect. It felt like the possibility of watching Boruto die in his attempt to cast his jutsu was becoming more and more real with each passing day. Kakashi looked at Konohamaru smiling, and for a second, he thought that this man, who seemed far too care free considering they face the end of days, would be happy to lead Boruto to death like a lamb to slaughter.

As the trio fell into the well portal, Kakashi reminded himself of the oath he swore. It didn't matter if there were hours or days left, he would remain by Boruto's side.

Author's Notes:

I hope you enjoyed reading the character's I've translated here. This chapter I wanted to show you how I was going to characterize them, and how I write my action.

If you've been enjoying what I have to offer, please leave a review! It really helps me feel inspired.

Thanks~

Elevryn

[espinosaurusrexex]

Hello love!! Would you be able to write a steve x reader where the reader is kinda insecure about their body because she used to be “chubby” and people used to say shit to her now that she is slim she is feeling a little insecure again remembering her past and looking at the models, what would steve do here? This would be very helpful to me if you wrote this no pressure 💕💕💖💖

Bullies

a/n: Hey, babes. I hope this imagine could help you out a little. I’m honored you trusted me for this request and even though it was a little heartbreaking to write, it was fun to get back to sweet old Steve again. Just know that everybody has insecurities and you’re not alone. If you need someone to talk, please don’t hesitate. I know it’s hard to open up to people sometimes (hell, if anything, I would rather solve any problem by crying myself to sleep alone) but I learned that having someone, even if that someone just listens to you rant, does help a lot sometimes.

word count: 2.1k

warnings: mentions of body dysmorphia, overcoming depression/trauma, bullying, flashbacks, down talk, overall sad themes, soft Steve, and a whole lotta fluff

!Disclamer: All bodies are beautiful and I usually don’t do readers with specific body types. So, I tried to still keep it a little open as to what the reader looks like now (but for this request it was kind of difficult). Please know that I don‘t mean to discriminate anybody with this 💓

It hadn’t always been easy. Of course, overall, life was pretty great and you did not have a whole bunch to complain about, but sometimes, your insecurities got the better of you. Didn’t they for everybody? Probably. But the thing was, that nobody talked about them. And it was annoying how fast they could change the mood because of that. One second you were happily sipping on an iced coffee in the midst of Brooklyn, and the next, you were crying in the smelly women’s bathroom of the nearest Starbucks. It was emotionally draining and even though you had already come a long way, it still affected you from time to time. 

It was silly, really, how a simple phrase - an under the breath comment - could cut open long healed wounds so fast. Catapulting you back to high school, where you would sit in the far corner of the classroom, away from everyone's eyes, to get a little peace and quiet from the hell that was every teenager's everyday life. The comment of the tall, skinny woman in the café wasn’t even directed at you, but it still felt like a pushback into the deep horrors of your own mind you had fought so hard to keep quiet over time. 

“Look at her. That skirt is definitely too tight, girl,” was what the woman had said to her 90-60-90 measurement friend. 

And it had lit a fire of emotions within you. But all you could do was sit there, stiff as a board, and forced to watch bad reruns of your life as the “chubby high school girl” before your mind’s eye. After a couple of moments, you had checked back into reality, feeling the burning tears brim in your eyes from the horrible flashbacks. That’s when you stood up and bolted for the bathroom, like a coward.

“Get yourself together, Y/N,” you encouraged your reflection in the mirror after splashing some cold water on your face in hopes of reducing the puffiness in your eyes. It didn’t help a lot, but it did cool you down enough to get back out there. And so you did. Striding through the doors with some newfound confidence and past the two women who had been shamelessly dishing ever since they had taken a seat at the table next to yours, you made your way to the other woman who had become their target for the afternoon.

You leaned down next to her to tap her shoulder slightly. And after she had turned her head, you simply smiled and told her: “You look very beautiful today. I love your skirt.”

The woman’s eyes brightened at that and it released a warmth in your heart, that rewarded you for your actions. 

“Oh, thank you so much,” she smiled brightly and waved once you said your goodbye.

And it was nice at the moment. Being able to brighten a stranger's day felt good, but it didn’t help with the deep uneasiness that had settled in your stomach before that. During your ride back on the subway, you tried to ignore the feeling as much as you could, thinking of coming home to your boyfriend, Steve, and the evening you had planned together. But every happy thought seemed to be overshadowed by a faint voice that told you, what the two women might have said about you. And then it set you back again to freshmen year - the peak of insecurity. 

It wasn’t terrific. You had no friends at the beginning of the school year, and people did everything to gain the crowds they would later call their ‘friends’. You, unfortunately, just so happened to be on the receiving end of the bullying that made kids ‘cool’ back then. It didn’t help that you had a little extra weight on your body, which - honestly - you never had great issues with until that dipshit Brian from PE pointed out that having you on his dodgeball team meant that ‘the hit ratio of the others would triple’. 

Yes, Brian was an ass. And you had wished every day of your life that he was stuck at a boring job with a low pay grade and a wife that was hopefully telling him how much of a loser he was. But it didn’t change the fact that his words had also made you look in the mirror five minutes longer each day, debating whether your favorite shirt made your arms look big or how you could twist your head to make your chubby cheeks seem less visible.

Luckily, after you graduated high school and entered college, people seemed to all have their baggage to lug around. They were all a lot more considerate or just kept to themselves. It was the change you had needed to focus on yourself and to work on a healthy mindset. Surrounding yourself with people who supported you had helped you to get better. And after you joined the gym in your first semester of college and the last few pounds that you had not grown into during puberty had shed to your goal weight, you seemed to be completely fine again. The focus being on seemed here because every so often, situations like the one today set you back a few steps.

So, when you entered your apartment building, searching for the key in your purse, your insecurities had skyrocketed from all the spiraling your mind had done. You weren’t feeling good, a headache was sneaking its way into your body and your shoulders tensed with the constant need to hold your body upright in a more appealing posture. Once you had closed the door to your and Steve’s shared apartment, you leaned against it with your forehead, sighing as your heavy purse fell to the floor with a thud.

“Are you alright, sweetheart?” Steve’s concerned voice traveled through the room. You could hear him shuffling from the couch and placing his glass on the table before you felt two large, warm hands on your upper arms.

You just grumbled in response, and Steve proceeded to press his chest to your back, moving your hair to the side to place a tender kiss on your shoulder.

“You wanna talk about it?” He stepped back and turned you around. As soon as he saw the redness in your eyes, his face fell - being replaced with a caring frown. He didn’t ask if you’d been crying and you were pretty grateful for that because it would have probably sent the tears running anew. 

Steve embraced you in a comforting hug, and you pressed your face into his shirt, inhaling the familiar scent of citrus and sandalwood. You had never really mentioned your body issues, mainly, because that was a part of your life you tried to suppress. And even though, Steve was the most understanding man you knew, some part of your mind had always toyed with the thought of him rejecting you because of those issues. You had managed to quiet that voice every time - telling yourself that he chose you and none of the other amazingly breathtaking, people-saving coworkers he was surrounded by in his line of work. Even if you couldn’t comprehend why on earth you were the one he chose, you were grateful nonetheless.

Steve’s hand traveled to your head and soothed over your hair as he placed a kiss on top. His grip tightened when your hands fisted into the back of his shirt and a silent sob escaped your mouth.

“It’s so stupid,” you breathed out shakily, holding onto your boyfriend as if he would vanish with the falter of your grasp. Steve rested his head atop yours and tugged you even tighter into his chest as he noticed how desperately you clung to him.

“I’m sure it’s not.” He loosened his grip around you and when you felt confident enough to let go as well, he took your hand and lead you to the sofa, where he pressed his glass of water into your hand before proceeding to sit down next to you. His hand found your back yet again, drawing soft circles in your dress, while the other rested on your knee.

Placing the cup back down after taking a sip of water, you peered up at him. The deep blue of his eyes was clouded with concern, but the encouraging smile on his face nudged you to speak up again. “There were these women at the café today, and they were just really mean.” You sobbed again at the thought of the mental distress these malicious women had set you in. You didn’t care that you sounded like a child right now, bawling your eyes out over some sleazy insult that wasn’t even directed at you. But it could have, more than a decade ago, when your insecure high school self pressed against the hallway lockers to avoid giving anyone a reason to talk to you.

Steve’s posture didn’t falter at your words. He listened attentively, scanning your face to register the emotions flooding through you, and it draped a calmness over you - a feeling of being heard and respected. His genuine interest in your well-being paired with the soft touch of his hands made you relax a little more.

“They were bullying someone for being overweight and it just hit really close to home,” you whispered as you wiped the tears from your cheek.

Steve’s expression told you that he understood what you were getting at. And you were grateful that he didn’t make you explain it further. The hand on your knee traveled up to your cheek, turning your face in his direction and making you look into the comforting blue of his eyes. They went deeper than your face, though. As if they could see right through your skin and into your soul where they soothed it with an easing embrace that slowed your pulse and pulled the tension out of your muscles.

“I just get really insecure sometimes.” Your gaze stayed focused on his face and your hand wandered to his wrist, pushing his fingers tighter to your skin.

A couple seconds passed before Steve pressed a kiss to your forehead. His lips lingered on your skin for a moment, and then he pulled away to say the next words with steady eye contact - conveying how sincerely he meant them. “Y/N, I know I can’t tell you to stop thinking about these things, but I want you to know that you don’t need to worry about other people’s feelings towards you. They won’t change just because you look a little different or because you are scared of something. The people who truly care about you will always be there for you. I will always be here for you. I’ll help you with whatever it is you're going through. Because I love you, regardless of what anyone says.” His Captain voice shone through the little speech he was delivering, and your heart began pounding several beats faster at his words. 

It was stupid to think he would be weird about it. If anyone were able to relate to you on body image issues, it was Steve Rogers. The man who had probably gone through the most public transformation of them all. At least, you had the choice to openly speak about your past. Steve had had that privilege taken from him before he could even say ‘America,’ and it sparked another 'peng' in your chest at the considerate man before you, who listened to your troubles all the while having even bigger ones on his own. But he never made you feel that way. You always came first, and you decided to make sure that you would show him how grateful you were for that every day.

“Thank you, Stevie.” You took a deep breath to steady the last traces of unease in your body and placed your hand on his arms. “I love you, too.”

And then you kissed him, capturing the comfort and warmth in his gaze with your lips. Steve pulled you closer to his body and leaned back on the couch, taking you with him in the process. The kiss was eager and loving, conveying as much aid as possible. Though, his mere presence had already done most of that.

When you parted again, you rested your head on his chest, snuggling into his side with his hands warming you with a loving touch. And that’s how you stayed until the sun set outside the living room windows, dipping the room in a glowing, happy yellow. Steve’s hands rode up and down your arms in consolation, and his steady heartbeat lulled you to sleep, sending you into a dreamless slumber.

@cotton-candy-clouds-26

[viastro]

to your heart’s content | kwon soonyoung

ミ★ synopsis: in which you end up meeting soonyoung up on the rooftop after a rough day.

ミ★ genre: trainee!soonyoung, trainee!reader, first meetings!au, fluff, brief angst

ミ★ warnings: there’s like two stinky people but i think it’s fine

ミ★ word count: 1,711

ミ★ pairings: soonyoung x gender neutral reader

ミ★ notes: hi guys ! long time no oneshot. i just wrote this short little thing in a few hours because i felt bad for not having written a oneshot on here in a while. however, i have been writing some oneshots for my lucky 7 collab over on @haokyeom​... mmm. wait i’m getting off track HAHAHA i hope you guys like this short little oneshot! make sure to give soonie lots of love <33

“We’ll call you back if we’re interested.” You let out a smile in their direction and do a full 90 degree bow, before turning and walking out of the room. Your heart thumps within your chest as you head towards the stairs, needing a breath of fresh air before you leave and wait on your results.

You walk up the stairs quickly, heart thumping against your chest as you push open the doors, the brightness of the blue sky hitting your face. You let out a breath, preparing to walk over to the ledge, only to stop when you realize that you’re not alone. 

You see the back of his head, black curly hair sitting atop of it. His hands are on the ledge of the rooftop, staring out at the city as the sun shines brightly onto the two of you. You purse your lips, deciding to turn around and leave the man alone, only to stop when you hear his voice call out, 

“You can stay. I was planning to leave soon.” You glance back at him, only to feel your breath get taken away once the two of you lock eyes. His black curly hair is settled softly over his forehead, his deep brown eyes radiating nothing but kindness as he stares at you. You look away when you realize you’ve just been gawking at him, feeling heat rushing up to your cheeks as you try to redirect your line of sight. The man lets out a small chuckle at you, reaching his hand out in your direction. You look back up at him when your eyes land on his hand outstretched towards you, feeling the wind get knocked out of you a second time at the sight of his smile. “Hi, I’m Soonyoung.” 

You bite the inside of your cheek, before reaching out and grasping his hand, giving it a firm shake, “Hi, I’m yn.” 

You both let your hands fall to your sides, before looking back out towards the city. Soonyoung smiles softly, walking back over towards the ledge and resting his arms onto it. You follow after him, settling beside him as you look out at the busy streets filled with people. 

“Did you audition?” Soonyoung asks, and you nod your head, letting out a breath when you remember what they said. You glance at him, finding him staring at you with interest in his eyes, and you shrug your shoulders with a smile. “They said they’ll call me if they’re interested. Not sure if that’s a good sign.” 

Soonyoung shakes his head, grinning back at you, “Nah, I think that’s a good sign.” 

You purse your lips in doubt, and he chuckles at your expression. You find yourself smiling again, some weight being lifted off your shoulders each time you hear Soonyoung’s laugh. You run a hand through your hair, letting out a sigh. 

“It’ll all work itself out, yn.” Soonyoung tells you, and you stare into his eyes for a moment. You hardly know this guy, and he hardly knows you. All the two of you know is that the other is incredibly pretty. However, you can’t help but believe him.

So you smile again, nodding your head with more hope in your heart this time around, “Yeah, I think it will, Soonyoung.”

“You danced like ass, yn.” You wipe the sweat off your forehead with the towel you brought, choosing to ignore what your fellow trainee members are saying to you. 

“Have you even been practicing? It was like you never danced a day in your life, yet you’re supposed to be the main dancer.” You bite the inside of your cheek as you pack up your bag, refusing to listen to anything they’re saying. You hear another trainee begin to say something and you throw your bag over your shoulder, walking out of the practice room and towards the roof. 

It’s been a rough day for you. You barely got any sleep the night before because you were up practicing, yet at the actual practice you danced like hot ass. You know that you danced horribly, you didn’t have to hear it from all the other trainees in the room. 

You push open the door leading to the roof, the bright lights from the city shining back at you as the moon gleams in the sky. You walk over to the edge, tears finally falling down your face as you throw your bag to the side. You rest your hands onto the ledge, crying your heart out from all the frustrations.

What you’ve failed to notice is that Soonyoung is standing right beside you as he’s unsure of whether to walk away or stay here and comfort you. He internally panics as you continue to cry, a serious debate with himself on if he should just bolt over to the doors. You let out a breath, looking back up at the city, only to pause when you notice a presence to your right hand side. 

“Soonyoung?” You ask as you turn your head, hands immediately rushing up to your face to wipe away the tears streaming down your face. Soonyoung shakes his head, reaching out and resting a hand on your wrist. 

“It’s okay yn, you don’t have to act like you’re not crying. It’s okay to cry, ya know?” You bite your lip, turning away and looking back out towards the city. Soonyoung just stands beside you quietly, knowing you’ll open up if you want to. 

“I had a horrible day at dance practice.” You mumble, and the pretty boy nods his head, understanding what you mean. 

He’s had those days too.

“It gets the best of us. We can’t always be the perfect idol they want us to be.” Soonyoung tells you, and you nod your head. You let out a wet laugh, reaching up and covering your face with your hands as more tears stream down your face.

Who would’ve thought you’d be up on the rooftop with Soonyoung again, except this time you’re both trainees instead of just two people who auditioned for a company. Some would say this being a trainee is a step closer to your goal, but is it? 

“I just, I don’t know what to do. I’m so tired.” You ramble, hands falling back down to the ledge as you breathe in the cold air. Soonyoung just stares at you, before letting out a small smile.

“Scream.”

“I beg your pardon?”

Soonyoung turns back towards the city, before reaching up and cupping his hands over his mouth. Your eyes widen when he lets out the loudest, most guttural screech he can muster. He sucks in a breath once he finishes, glancing back at you with a satisfied grin on his face. 

“What… the hell…” Soonyoung laughs at your reaction, nudging you with his shoulder before gesturing out towards the city. You shake your head immediately, protests bubbling out of your mouth as Soonyoung persists. “I promise that you’ll feel 100x better if you just scream. Sometimes crying isn’t enough, just gotta scream to your heart’s content.” 

You purse your lips, and the black haired beauty smiles at you. Letting out a sigh of defeat, you turn towards the city, seeing the lights of the buildings reflect back at you. You wonder what’s a good phrase to even scream, should you even say something as you screech? 

Sucking in a deep breath after a moment of contemplation you finally scream out, 

“I’M FUCKING TIRED!!” 

The two of you stay silent for a moment, with your chest rising and falling as Soonyoung watches. He’s about to ask you how it felt only to pause when you suddenly begin to screech out a bunch of random shit. It ranges from you being tired and hungry, to you just letting out incredibly guttural screams. 

“I-” You suck in a breath, tears falling past your eyes as the last thought comes to you. “I don’t even know if this is my dream anymore!” 

Soonyoung bites the inside of his cheek once you finally stop, seeing you doubled over as you try to catch your breath. You rest your hand over your heart, standing up straight and turning to look at Soonyoung. You catch the brief concern in his eyes from the last thing you shouted, and you smile, looking away. 

“Yeah, I don’t know. It just came to me in the moment.” You mutter, wiping away the tears from under your eyes. You open your mouth to mutter out more excuses, only to pause when you feel Soonyoung patting your head softly. You glance up at him, just to see that small smile on his face that always seems to offer you reassurance.

“It’s okay, yn. You don’t have to explain yourself to me.” Soonyoung mumbles as he pats your head, his hand lowering back down to his side after a second. You stare at him for a moment, before cursing to yourself when you feel tears building up in your eyes again. 

“God. You-you always say what I need to hear.” You complain with a wet laugh, and Soonyoung shrugs his shoulders. 

“You do the same for me.” Rolling your eyes, the two of you turn back towards the city, arms resting on the ledge as you just bask in the cold night air. The rooftop is like your guys’ spot you suppose. Each time you run up here for a break, you find Soonyoung there without fail. You pause at that thought, turning your head to look at the pretty boy.

“Hey Soonie?”

“Yeah, yn?” 

“Why were you out here before I came?” You ask, and Soonyoung purses his lips. He lets out a sigh, resting his chin on the palm of his hand. 

“I just like looking at the city at night.” Soonyoung answers softly, and you nod your head, understanding what he means as you turn back towards the view. After a moment, Soonyoung glances over at you, watching as the lights from the buildings and cars down below illuminate your features softly. He smiles, letting out a breath of content. 

if only you knew that he goes up to the rooftop every night in hopes that he’ll be able to see your smile.

[justasparkwritings]

Peace: Coming of Age

Pairing: Jungkook X Reader

Genre: Angst / Slice of Life

Rating: PG15

Word Count: 2.6k

Warnings: Swearing 

Summary: Jungkook takes his first steps in creating a life for himself. 

Listening: peace by Taylor Swift 

Peace Master List

         Jungkook paced the room, the grey walls agitating him as he searched for answers. He’d filmed the video five times. Three with a hoodie on, two without. He kept refilming to perfect his vocals, or at least that’s what he told himself. Perfectionism was easier to grapple with than baring his soul to millions. Was he ready to show the world what he’d done?

           Jungkook had spent the last third of his life in the spotlight. The articles, photos, videos, all captured him growing up. He went from a fresh-faced tween barely through puberty to a full-fledged man. He had grown in front of their eyes, finished high school, and debuted with a band that had captured the world’s attention. He had been taken under the wings of Jin and his five other hyungs. They had watched him struggle, both academically and professionally. They had guided him through the drastic changes in his life, from leaving his family to relentless dance practices and endless vocal lessons. They guided him when he was falling apart, and through their love he had grown into the man he could happily say he is. He’d taken little parts of their personalities and combined them into his own. It was hard to tell when JK ended and the six hyungs began.

            Jungkook hadn’t told the rest of BTS of his plans, of what he wanted to do in order to feel that he had completed his metamorphosis. He was cagey, dodging glances and prying questions. He was private, but there wasn’t anything he couldn’t tell them. Except this. It wasn’t until they had snuck up on him one day and caught him reading an article about the significance of tattoos in western culture that they grew concerned that he would taint his flawless skin.

           Hoseok sat him down first, tone damning, asking him what he intended to do, and why would he choose to ruin his body? Through the years Jungkook had become accustomed to Ho-Seok’s aversion to anything that would harm or change his physical form. Dying his hair was the closest thing he would do, and even that felt like he was desecrating a sacred temple. He didn’t pierce his ears, he certainly would not get tattoos, and though he had an unusually sunny disposition, body modification of any kind made Ho-Seok’s skin crawl. He respected his members decisions to pierce their ears, two, three, five times, but him? No thank you. He had thought that tattoos were always going to be off limits, even when years prior Jungkook had expressed his desire, on camera, to stain his skin. No member had committed to something so permanent. Piercings close, hair can be dyed back, but this?

          Hoseok couldn’t tell if he was mad at JK for recklessly ruining himself, or worried that his decision would endanger the rest of them.

           So, he pled his case, and a day or so later, Namjoon tried to talk any sense into JK. He knew it was no use, but as leader he was mandated to speak to him.

           “Why do you want to do this?” Namjoon asked. They were seated outside, beers in both their hands.

           “Do you feel like yourself, 100% of the time?” Jungkook countered, glancing at the fading sun.

           “90% of the time, yes, I do.” Namjoon responded.

           “And you feel comfortable in who you are?”

           “Why are you interrogating me?” Namjoon stared at his golden maknae. He had raised this boy, crafted and melded him into the man sitting in front of him. Had it been too much?  

           “You write most of our lyrics, you express your emotions.”

           “Yes, and I understand how you’re feeling,”

           “Do you? I am me trying to navigate this life that I somehow signed up for when I was a child. I have had to conform every day of my life. I have struggled to find my identity, to showcase who I am, without ever having the time to grow or discover myself. Now I’m a man, who doesn’t know any life outside of constant cameras and the six of you guarding me. What’s yours is mine and what’s mine is yours, but what if there’s nothing of me? What if they’ve taken it all?”  

           “You signed up for this Jungkook,” Namjoon felt defensive. His moves, silent and unseen, had pushed Jungkook to this position. His invisible strings had carved him from a child to an adult, his guidance had constructed the golden boy. Namjoon had nurtured Jungkook to be strong in his convictions and fierce at heart. He encouraged his hobbies, to obsession at times, and pared space for him to study and learn, encouraging him to speak English. Didn’t Jungkook know himself better than any members did?

           “The devils in the details, Namjoon,” He countered.

           “So, what, to feel like yourself you need to permanently decorate your skin?” Namjoon felt the anger rising. Big Hit would surely blame him for this.  

           “It’s a part of me, a part of me that I am trying to hold onto. I don’t want to hide part of myself because I’m being told I’m supposed to. I want to be me, I want to make choices for myself,” Jungkook’s passion was evident in the grip he had placed on his glass.

           “And what if that part of you changes?” Namjoon wanted to know.

           “Are you still the same person you were when we started?” Jungkook asked.

           “No, I’ve grown, and I’ve learned a lot,” Namjoon sat back and thought about the challenges he’d overcome in the time BTS had been together.

           “Then give me the space to do the same, hyung, please,” Jungkook pleaded.

           Namjoon nodded, recognizing that molding Jungkook into the perfect band member had done more damage than he realized, the cracks were beginning to form. When Jungkook had joined, RM and Seokjin had been placed as his guardians. They were to protect him, keep him focused, help him grow. He was a child, a baby, compared to the older two. His insecurity and shyness had tried to swallow him, and would’ve if not for the doting care the members had given him. Namjoon had, in a word, overstepped. His grip on Jungkook’s life was impenetrable to the point that sometimes it was hard to know where Namjoon ended and Jungkook began. He wasn’t raising Jungkook, he was manipulating him. The devil had always been in the details, at the hands of Big Hit, that devil was Namjoon.

           “Jin’s supposed to try and knock some sense into you…” Namjoon said, standing.

           “What’s he going to say that you and Hosoek-hyung haven’t?” Jungkook asked.

           “I don’t know, but listen to him,” Namjoon reminded the maknae to respect his elder, something he had thrown away when speaking with Joon.

           Namjoon left, leaving JK to sit in his thoughts. He didn’t know when Jin was planning on showing up, and he wasn’t sure he could handle another confrontation and berating. Jungkook was lost in his thoughts, his glass slowly emptying when Jin strode in, keys in hand.

           “Let’s go eat,” He said. Jungkook nodded, following him.

           As they sat at their usual table, drinks on their way, Jin wasted no time diving in.

           “They’ve all been hard on you?” Seokjin asked.

           “Yes,” Jungkook responded.

           “Well, what do you want me to say?” Jin questioned.

           “That you support me,” Jungkook’s gaze never strayed from the empty spot in front of his glass.

           “What does management say?” Jin asked, ignoring Jungkook’s suggestion.

           “That they can’t technically stop me, but I’ll always be covered. No t-shirts on tour, music videos, anything. If everyone’s in a tank top, I have to be in a tank top with a jacket or long sleeves.”

           “Even in summer?” Jin questioned.

           “Even then,” Jungkook answered.

           “And you’re okay with that?” Jin wondered.

           “Yes,”

           “Alright, have you thought about ARMY?”

           “I can’t imagine they’d be mad at me,” Jungkook said, glancing at Jin. Jin was calm. Jin was always calm, particularly when it came to heady conversations about the direction Jungkook was taking.

           “Okay, if you’re sure,” Jin left it at that. He quickly moved to ask Jungkook what he wanted to order, their usual banter resuming.

           Jungkook sat in the tattoo artists main chair, arm exposed, hand at the ready. The artist asked if he was without a doubt positive he wanted ink decorating his dominate appendage, and he nodded, telling them that each item stood for something. As the artist began, he recounted why.

           “The inverted V is for Taehyung, that’s his nickname. He’s funny, and charismatic. The most indecisive person. He is one of the best dancers, and just makes me laugh all the time. He comforts me when I’m upset and is always making sure that I’m okay. RM is for Namjoon, he’s the eternal leader. He’s wise and thinks before he acts. But he’s clumsy. He always pushes me to think deeper, to find the emotion that a song needs, or to remind me to slow down when I’m pushing myself too hard. RM’s our guiding light. M is also for Yoongi, who understands the parts of me that I sometimes think no one does, but he also doesn’t understand the fundamental parts of me… The Y completes ARMY, I am nothing without them.”

           The phrase had become common place, BTS is nothing without ARMY. They eat, sleep and breathe ARMY. Who are they if ARMY doesn’t stand beside them, encouraging them on?

           ARMY was the reason for his success, but they were also the thorn on his rose. Army watched every move he made, every note he hit, every smile cracked. They’d glommed onto him immediately. Isn’t Jungkook so cute? Did you see how Jungkook dances to Boy in Luv? Have you seen his smile? They cheered when he succeeded and picked him up when he fell. As much as the members had raised JK, he recognized that ARMY was the reason he had to be raised by his hyungs in the first place.

           Being raised by people other than your parents is an odd experience. Leaving home and forging a new path without so much as a safety net below would be scary to anyone, but particularly for a child who hadn’t experienced much outside of his home. Jungkook had talent, anyone could see it. He had potential, because he had potential, Big Hit had taken a chance on him. They had molded him and groomed him into a superstar. So much so that by age 23, a song dedicated to him negotiating his stardom with quality of life would become a sexual anthem. Big Hit’s ownership of his existence had sent him into many a tailspin. He compensated the only way he could: working himself to extreme exhaustion and spending nights drunk in the dorms. The other members addressed it delicately, but when his back was turned, they spent countless hours discussing the “problem with Jungkook”.

          Perfectionism is often a sign of OCD, a way to control what feels uncontrollable, a way to manage anxiety and stress through precise and repetitive habits. If practice was four hours, Jungkook danced eight. If it took Jimin ten takes to nail an eight count of vocals, Jungkook took twice that. He practiced diligently, sweating through layers and layers, never satisfied until his body gave out. He worked out seven days a week, often hours long sessions not including time with trainers. He was obsessed with his physic and how he could make it stronger. BTS often worried and tried delicately to address their concerns. Jungkook wouldn’t listen, until he blew his heel out an needed stitches. What was meant to be a wake up call ended up giving him more focus and increasing his desire to be perfect.

          “Perfect for who?” Suga had asked during an intense discussion of Jungkook’s workaholic tendencies. Jungkook stared at him, Suga, who hates working out, hates other people, and would be content to sleep for days on end, was asking him a stupid question. He turned to Ho-Seok, who nodded.

          “Perfect for ARMY, perfect for him,” Ho-Seok had responded.

          Hoseok and Jimin both nodded. The three of them formed the dance line, the strongest dancers with Taehyung closing in at #4. Together they banked hundreds of practice hours, innumerable tapings and work ups by the medical team, and were responsible for BTS’ dance routines coming together. They bore the brunt of the work, and their bodies, though young, managed the wear and tear. Ho-Seok worked hard, but Jungkook worked harder.

          Namjoon listened to every conversation about Jungkook with ears peeled, writing down any information he needed. If there was a problem with Jungkook, it would soon fall to Namjoon to correct, though his perfectionism had been a drug Namjoon had heavily pushed.

          “What’s the J for?” The tattoo artist asked, pulling Jungkook out of his thoughts.

          “That’s for Jin, Jimin and J-Hope,” He responded, looking down at the work being done on his body.

          “They’re your elders?”

          “Yes, Namjoon and Seokjin raised me. They’re all my brothers, but Namjoon and Jin helped me study, they encouraged me, bought me food and made sure I was spending enough time on studies and training. Jin drove me everywhere before I could drive myself, and he spent years teaching me how to be a good person, and a good man. Jimin’s a terror, and Ho-Seok is the only one who understands my drive.”

          “The plus signs tie you together?”

          “Yes,”

          “The heart? And the symbol?”

          “ARMY will know.”

           Jungkook had waited a few days before displaying his ink to BTS. They were skeptical and unsure how they liked what he had done to his right arm. They were honored he had chosen his hand to honor them and concerned what it meant for him going forward.

           Jungkook wasn’t ready for the world to see, and neither was management. He spent the first few months with band aids on his hand until his ink was healed, then layers and layers of make-up.

           As he paced in the gray room, a cover of Never Not waiting to upload, he decided to honor himself, to honor his heart, and post the video where his tattoos were exposed. Management had said he could share them when he was ready, and it would be at that point that they stopped covering them in make-up, except in specific situations where his ink would be a detriment to the group. He took a deep breath, like his ink, this choice was permanent.

           Once the dust of his ink settled, through a few poor choices and copious empty liquor bottles, he found himself out in Echo Park. A stranger had commented on his ink, and Jungkook’s mind wound back to the conversation he’d had with the tattoo artist about them. His tattoos meant something to him, and their meaning intensified every day.

          This is why, on a chance encounter in a low-light restaurant in Echo Park, Jungkook had been so taken with yours. The delicate ink on the back of your arm, the art creeping up your calf sent a shock through him. Who were you, and what did these symbols mean? He cautiously went up to you at the bar, nodding at the bartender who asked for his ID immediately. He flushed. Should he abandon ship?

           You turned and smiled. It was blinding.

           “Hi, I noticed your tattoos,” He said, thankful he had spent the past few years working on his English.

           “Oh,” You were unsure how to respond.

           “They’re really beautiful,” He said, his cheeks flushing again. Having spent his youth in Big Hits control, flirting wasn’t a game he knew how to play.

           “Thank you,” You responded, your cheeks turning rosy.

           “Can I buy you a drink?” He asked, right eyebrow raising. You smiled at the quirk.

           “Yes, and you can tell me about yours,” You said, already making sense of the ink in front of you, and the man it belonged to.

           “I’m Jungkook,” He said, extending the same hand you had been admiring.

           “I’m Y/N,” You said, extending yours to shake.

           Jungkook swore the earth began to quake at that very second, your skin meeting his for the first time, your smiles blinding the patrons of the restaurant. Everything melted away as the heat from your bodies glued you together. It was in the moment after, when you had unwillingly returned his hand to him that he realized his coming of age had come and gone, he had transitioned into a man, ink and all.

Next: Wasting Your Honor

[xmanicpanicx]

Romanticized Things That Aren't Actually Romantic

1) The "shut up" kiss

It happens in more movies, TV shows, and novels than I can even count. One half of the couple (usually a woman or girl) will be talking, and the other person (usually a guy) will suddenly lay an ol’ sloppy one on her mouth. Often times, she’s rambling about her insecurities, so some people think it’s cute when he kisses her, symbolically laying her worries to rest. Don’t worry, hon! There’s nothing to be insecure about! He likes you! There are two big problems with this. The first is that when someone is speaking, you shouldn’t cut them off; best case scenario, it’s rude. Of course, people cut each other off all the time in conversation, so that’s different. But when a character interrupts another character’s speech to kiss them, they are essentially prioritizing their sexual desires over the other person’s need to express themselves. It’s an action that has an agenda. Everyone wants to be truly listened to when they speak. So if, for example, we have a female character babbling about her insecurities, the male character should hear her out, and then respond to what she says. There is plenty of romantic potential in words — even more than in kisses, in my opinion. His response could still be a kiss after she’s finished speaking (as long as it’s not a rattlesnake-strike type of kiss that doesn’t give her a choice). However, we still have another problem: the female character’s self-confidence shouldn’t be contingent upon the male character’s opinion of her. In other words, a kiss from a guy, no matter how much she loves him, will not and should not heal her negative perception of herself. Not healthy. Real people and characters should accept themselves on their own terms rather than on the approval of others.

Sometimes, the sudden kiss will come in the middle of a female character’s angry rant. The male character thinks she’s cute or sexy when she’s angry, which can be frustrating and patronizing for anyone who voices their anger because they want to be listened to and taken seriously. But regardless of why the character is talking, the other character should stop kissin’ and start listenin’.

2) Female double standards

Women and girls often feel really uncomfortable when men objectify them and make comments on their bodies, so they call these men out — and rightfully so. They also call male authors out for only describing women in terms of their bodies and giving them very little, if any, personality. Once again, rightfully so. Unfortunately, in real life and in literature, there is a double standard here. It’s one thing to write an erotic novel in which bodies of every gender are described in explicit detail and with an express purpose. But I’ve read novels without any sexual content that go into so much detail about guys’ looks. And these male characters are often not well-developed, either (think of the stereotypical jock with a hot bod and no brain). Authors — especially female authors, who are usually the ones perpetuating this — need to do better than this. If it's not okay to do that to girls, it's not okay to do that to guys, either. Also, what is up with that scene from The Notebook? The one where Rachel McAdams repeatedly slaps Ryan Gosling because he’s breaking up with her. How on Earth is that okay? The Notebook is widely considered to be a super-romantic movie, but there is nothing romantic about that scene, and it should be a deal-breaker for their relationship. If the tables were turned and Ryan Gosling slapped Rachel McAdams for breaking up with him, the entire plot of the movie would be different. It would be a thriller, a story about a woman trying to escape a scary ex. We would never root for the two of them to get back together.

3) Overly-metaphorical sex scenes

Cheese, cheese, and more cheese. Would you like some crust and tomato sauce with all that cheese? So many novels shy away from the anatomical details and favor metaphors for how the sex makes the characters (or just the narrating character) feel. In theory, there is nothing wrong with this, but I personally tend to roll my eyes more often than not at the actual execution. The narrator will say something too dramatic, like “our bodies became one and the universe opened up before me.” Or “and then we were flying, soaring with and through one another.” Or something else that is just… not sexy. As far as being poetic, there isn’t anything special about those phrases, either. There is nothing wrong with describing sex as it really is. I realize that novels featuring sex that are aimed at young adults probably cannot describe things too explicitly, but there’s no need to replace dirty details with flowery language. Go for whatever sincerity you can in the situation. There are plenty of different emotions to mine and sensual details leading up to the actual sex that read more thrillingly than the sex scene itself. 

4)  Instalove

It's simply not as much fun to see characters fall for each other right away. And how could they possibly fall for each other right away, anyhow? Is it all about looks? If so, both characters are instantly less likable because they're shallow. And that's not real love, either. You need to actually know someone in order to feel a such a deep emotion for them.

It's also important to note that making the characters "love" each other at the outset of the story does not heighten the emotional stakes. It actually cheapens them. Because how can we take this so-called love seriously when we don't get to know, don't get to care about, the characters as individual people before they fall for each other?

Now, if we get to know each character and watch them get to know each other, and slowly fall for each other, that's much more rewarding.  It's character growth, and it's a whole process that we, as readers, get to experience vicariously though them.

This may just be a personal preference, but I think it's best to even avoid phrases like “my heartbeat skipped” or “my skin tingled when our hands brushed” in the beginning stages of the story. Even though the declarations of love and outright displays off affection may come later on, statements like these reveal instant attraction, which still isn't as rewarding as attraction that grows over time and through events.

5) Love interests being obsessed with each other

From approximately 2005-2015, YA literature saw a horde of books featuring teenage girls and boys who are everything to each other. I almost mean that literally. The first really popular book like this was Twilight, but it had a huge influence on everything in YA that came after, especially YA fantasy. How romantic, some people think, that hero lives for the heroine! And vice versa! Perfect! Meant to be! Everyone wishes they could have that one, true, perfect love! 

Listen. Go back to Britney Spears’s first album and play the song “Born to Make You Happy”: ”I don’t know how to live without your love, I was born to make you happy.” Solid 90s bubblegum pop, but with unhealthy lyrics. An unhealthy mentality. Most of us are familiar with that heady, all-consuming feeling of falling in love, how it feels like that’s the best and happiest part of life as it’s happening. There’s nothing wrong with portraying that. It’s relatable. The glorification of it beyond all else is the problem. The hero and heroine have scares throughout the story during which they almost lose each other, and that brings to light just how strongly they feel each other, to the extreme that nothing matters except each other. Then, of course, they ultimately end up together, happily ever after, never having to part again. But in real life, people break up, or sometimes even die. People have no choice but to be apart from the person they loved so much from then on. And it’s devastating, but it’s not the end, even if it sometimes feels like it. That’s why it’s so important for books to give some indicator that there are other things that matter besides (and dare I say even more than) the one person the hero/heroine is in love with. The characters have to have some sense of self-love or resilience. They have to have other people they care about, or at least values/principles and goals. They have to be an actual person, not just a vessel filled to the brim with love for just one other person. Romanticizing a co-dependent relationship can be hope-crushing message, especially for teenagers who haven’t had enough time to grow, to weather the storm of life and toughen up and become wiser and more self-aware and self-confident. 

7) The super dominant male love interest 

Okay, I’m not trying to kink-shame anyone because I know there are people who absolutely love this trope. I want to say it’s fine, as long as it remains in Tropeland. But even if women want to keep these love interests solely within their fantasies, I do worry about the message it sends to men, if it makes them think that they can be abusive douchebags because women are into that. I already know of far too many men who think that women are only into assholes. 

Personally, I’ll never understand the appeal of a man, fictional or otherwise, who dictates what a woman should wear, her food choices, where they go and what they do for dates ALL THE TIME. And jealousy! Sure, jealousy indicates that someone cares, and it’s a normal human emotion, but I’ll never understand the appeal of a guy who gets so jealous, he won’t allow his girlfriend any freedom. I’ll never understand how cruel, disparaging words could ever be on the same sexiness level as dirty talk. And I really, really will never understand how a man physically harming a woman could be considered sexy. It’s weak and cowardly, hurting someone who doesn’t stand a chance of fighting back because they’re nowhere near as strong.

I get the appeal of a guy who sees a woman as his equal and isn’t afraid to spar with her, challenge her, and maybe even be a little bit rough with her, knowing that she can handle it. I see the appeal of a confident man who isn’t afraid to tell a woman what he wants. When his presence becomes legitimately threatening and completely selfish, that’s when I personally see a problem. But hey, to each their own.

[ifeveristoday]

I got out my DVDs for this rewatch (that’s not actually a big deal. I only have season 3 on DVD. 😂) so let’s get to it.

I forgot they did a cold open for this episode!

I know it’s for ambiance but man does Angel have a lot of candles displayed. Probably too ‘mainstream’ for his taste but the thought of Angel furtively going to a Bath and Bodyworks in the mall during their semi-annual sale and just buying out their whole candle selection gives me the purest joy. Let’s be real though, Angel would shop at some boutique/hole in the wall owned by a wizened old character with a twinkle in their eye and everything marked up 20%. Or it would be a steel and glass monstrosity with a collection labeled Candles for Men. That’s the range.

Back to the enormous fire hazard that this scene is -

Wait. Does fire burn on stone?

Shout out to the stunt doubles.

I think that Angel getting food for Buffy for a sort of alfresco picnic while training is really sweet, actually. Also, can't miss the opportunity for both carbs and phallic symbolism ala bread.

Everyone is so embarrassingly horny in this moment. I'd say get a room except they're in a whole giant mansion.

Always remember the bread! What did Angel do with the food after Buffy fled? Fed the no-doubt cursed pigeons that live in Sunnydale.

Thanks for the workout (insert stereotypical dirty laugh).

Oh yes, the awkward 'let's talk about your birthday without mentioning the last birthday you had at all because it's horrifying' chitchat. God, the anxiety Angel is radiating here and Buffy trying to smooth it over. You can't unfrost that trauma cake!

Angel, you utter dork. You're lucky Buffy finds you pretty. Very powerful himbo energy here. And it's nice to see some light-hearted flirting/banter between them.

How do you know when someone's aura's dirty? Buffy is only asking the reasonable questions everyone has.

Do you hear yourself, Giles. "I'm aware of your distaste in studying vibratory stones..." I can't imagine what that section of the Slayer handbook looks like. Are there pull-out charts?

Faith being conveniently gone for this episode. Boo, hiss.

That workout really did a number on Buffy. I see what you're doing with those crystals.

One of the sad parts of rewatching Buffy is that you just don't have the first time discovery feels of watching it - that magic is gone, but even though I know why Buffy's wobbling in her fight, the reveal is still upsetting. Thinking about how in Season 5, when she does get staked, just as she's questioning her powers - and here, where she's losing them.

Also, obvious observation is obvious - the sexual violence imagery is really, really blatant here - with the vampire crouched over her with the stake aimed toward her heart, just as she playfully staked Angel earlier in a more romantically set scene.

AND THEN THE THEME KICKS IN. Like, damn! Three minutes and you can pretty much tell what the plot is going to be - Buffy and Angel's UST is getting out of hand, Buffy's lone Rangering it, and something is wrong with her. And it's her birthday.

And Buffy's resourcefulness saves the day.

Perhaps you shouldn't be throwing knives in the library, Buffy.

Did they do a geography lesson on Cuernavaca? It's also just fun to say. Like La Cienega. Brief moment to ponder yet again about a show set in Southern California, actually shot in Southern California, with the huge Latine population we have and the Spanish-influenced names and culture and - getting sidetracked by all this casual 90s racism.

"We do it every year for my birthday," except your seventeenth, presumably because of the murderous ex-boyfriend stalking the town you live in and all your loved ones. [Or, he did take her and it was not shown on screen!] Sometimes I wonder if the continuity editors just go, you know, I'm going to let this one go for the 'emotion' and not just so years later, a Virgo with a deep-seated need to obsess over throwaway details will go into a thought spiral to make it make sense.

I think this is also the last time Hank Summers was spoken of with any real affection because then he was Deadbeat Dad for the remainder of the show. Oh, look. The Scoobies are surprised about the traditional birthday ice show that I'm going to nitpick about forever.

Oz is so supportive, and then the clunker of a 'deep' line of ice being cool because it's water then it's not. I do like the Whedonesque school of dialogue, but sometimes you gotta reel it back. I remember the dialogue on Dawson's Creek was getting pinged for the teenagers talking like grad students.

Quiet reflection. Oh you poor girl, you have no idea.

Quarterly projections - is a convincing filler phrase for when you don't need to know what the job is, because it's boring but sounds vaguely official. What does Hank actually do? Who cares! He's an asshole.

Sunnydale Arms, because of course, Sunnydale has a broken down abandoned murder hotel.

Quentin Travers. Boo. Hiss.

The scary music is very scary. Also one of the Council flunkies looks like a very young Vincent D'Onofrio.

This scene with them in the library is so bittersweet because Buffy is fishing for Giles's attention as a father figure substitute ("very sophisticated people go!" breaks my heart) and he pointedly is rejecting this for training talk.

Look for the flaw at its center. THE FLAW IS YOU GILES. YOU YOU YOU.

it's just so terrible, this scene because of how methodical and clinical it plays out. And Buffy is just not there, and then Giles smiles like nothing has happened.

Buffy makes it through another night - next day (another reason why this trial is so horrifying is that it takes place over several days - it's not on Buffy's birthday but leading up to it, so the idea of her getting weaker and weaker and unable to fight to make it to 18 in the first place) and it's time for the Cordelia has had enough of toxic masculinity scene!

Also, Willow blithely ignoring a person's feelings and treating Amy as just a rat is played for laughs and cuteness, but yeah...you can't treat people like puppets or rats [law and order sound]

I love Cordelia's coat. And also, while it does suck that she stood him up, he's not entitled to her time or attention and certainly not to threaten her. Go, Cordy! Fight like a girl! Yes! Pummel him into the hallway.

I also love Willow's outfit here because I think the colors are so complementary and warm and it's a cute outfit. Okay, the knit wooly hat is a bit too Blossom-esque, but whatever.

Buffy is tiny, we all know this, but I do think they purposefully dressed her in larger than her size coats in this episode to make her look even more tiny and vulnerable.

Giles is TOO BLASE for this scene also shut your mouth about throwing knives like a girl

"It's an archaic exercise in cruelty." SO WHY DID YOU GO ALONG WITH IT, BRAIN TRUST. (I am going to be very mean to Giles this whole rewatch, deal with it.)

"But I'm the one in the thick of it." No, you're not. You are going to be adjacent to it, at best.

Hey it's that guy!

Okay, in better lighting, flunkie does not look like Vincent D'Onofrio.

It's impossible to pin down one type of Vampire in the Whedonverse, except for the delineation between Grunt Bait Vampires, and Special Guest Star/Master vampires, but Kralik is the only other example of a vampire with mental illness besides Drusilla, yet he's medicated. Makes me wonder how exactly they got Kralik...he was a monster before he was a vampire, but who vamped him? I don't put it past the Watchers to have vampires created for this purpose.

Curse against lawyers!

Xander and Oz bonding over comic books is so fun. I regret they didn't really get closer until after Xander and Willow cheated because Oz was the one male friend Xander had.

They mentioned her birthday! Thinking about Buffy's love of poetry later on, this is a nice little detail, and it *is* a thoughtful, sweet gift. Also those poems: horny. Oh yes, maybe in a restrained way, but Elizabeth Barrett Browning knew what was up.

The Buffy and Angel relationship in season three is full of these starts and stops that I can see why and agree with others about how it's frustrating on a number of levels. They know why they can't be together, but they still try to find a common ground because they want to need the other one. They still have their identities to figure out - Buffy as the slayer and a young adult, Angel as a person, separate from Buffy and being Buffy's ex sort of maybe.

But this conversation in Helpless is genuinely sweet and a glimpse at what a normal couple at the crossroads would talk about - I think I'm also being soft on this because the other Important Male Figure in Buffy's life in this episode lets her down so spectacularly bad, that Angel being supportive and kind in his awkward way is a nice respite. It's good to be away from the angst and the horror that their relationship has had.

And the self-aware puncturing of the Moment between them is something Buffy does very well. "Taken literally, incredibly gross - I was just thinking that too". Look, it's cute and soft and I will allow it.

The horror of this episode (and there are so many) is that we have to watch Buffy become the helpless blonde in a slasher flick who is being chased by the monsters and she can't do anything about it - that she has to be rescued or die. That the real world with men catcalling and bystanders who ignore women's cries of distress is far scarier than the literal demons that inhabit the town - and Buffy brokenly saying she can't just be a person, she can't be helpless like that [like women are, still, today] is a gut punch. It's uncomfortable and unhappy because Buffy is supposed to be the hero, the [sigh] strong female lead who can kick ass and take names, and this episode is all about finding who Buffy is, separate from her super powers. Also an exercise in emotional torture, but must be Tuesday.

The physicality - the weakness that both Buffy and Giles display in this scene is so, so good. The way Buffy's hand trembles toward the needle in the case and the dawning realization of what Giles has done, has chosen to do - and he bloodlessly tells her what the Cruciamentum is.

Her tiny little "Liar."

GOD WHY DIDN'T SHE GET AN EMMY (rhetorical we all know genre tv only matters if it was Game of Rapey Thrones)

"You will be safe now, I promise you." LIAR.

Another puncturing a heavy moment - Cordelia as cavalry - I love it. Cordelia taking the most obvious approach to the situation - 'oh Buffy might have lost her memory, well he's Giles,'

I can't believe they robbed us of a conversation in the car scene with Cordy and Buffy.

Kralik had to have found a polaroid camera and a metallic sharpie for this whole scenario -- OH I KNOW WHO HE REMINDS ME OF. The Night Stalker and any number of serial killers that terrorized SoCal. Is the show being self-aware of the problem with mothers and parents in general?

Probably a glib accident.

I don't have much to say about the part where Buffy hunts Kralik because it's so masterfully done with the atmosphere and music.

Nice of Giles's backbone to enter the chat now.

This is not business. Ooo.

Buffy's "I thought I killed a man" emo overalls!

Like it's shadowy, but there's still enough light to see facial expressions. Lighting guy, I salute you.

Little red riding hood metaphor. Oh, that's so her stunt double.

CREEPY SEXUAL VIOLENCE REARS ITS DEFORMED HEAD AGAIN

Jump stair scare. I remember the first time I saw it, I jolted in the living room.

Serial Killer Shit. Why are vampires such drama queens?

THAT'S RIGHT, BUFFY DID THAT

The ending scene in the library is cathartic in that Buffy gets to stand up for herself finally, and recognizes what Giles gives up by helping her, delayed as it was, also there's the feeling of hate punching Quentin Travers via your eyes.

Still don't think she should have forgiven Giles so easily, but we don't get to see a lot of aftercare for Buffy when she gets hurt, and it is a very tender scene.

The Scoobies are being way too upbeat if they knew about the fact that Giles poisoned Buffy, which is why I'm assuming she told a very abbreviated version of events ending with Buffy killed the bad guy and Giles got fired, oops.

Xander's big strong man comment and then looking immediately to Willow to open the jar and not Oz...

I could watch this episode again with episode commentary from David Fury, but another day.

[saedii-gilwraeth-simp]

This post but I wanted to do it all with BillyxArsinoe - Part 2: electric boogaloo (REPOST BC I FINISHED IT THIS TIME)

How do they fall asleep? Wake up? Any daily rituals?

Billy always says hello to Arsinoe first when he gets home. It doesn’t matter if it’s a party and there are 50 people between Arsinoe and the front door, Billy always says hello to her before anyone else. And Arsinoe always kisses Billy’s cheek before she gets out of bed because she’s too groggy to say hello properly.

How’s their team work? Do they share well?

Wins three-legged races every time. They are masters of communication so they work together really well and tend not to step on each other’s toes. They share pretty well unless it’s blankets.

Are they open about their relationship? How do they feel about public displays of affection?

Billy and Arsinoe fucking love talking about each other to other people because they love being together. In terms of PDA, they are… very enthusiastic and it has definitely gotten them in trouble before.

First impression of each other? Was it love at first sight?

They really didn’t click when they first met and it was definitely not love at first sight. I call it the “Billy is the epitome of a privileged white man” effect

Nicknames? Pet names? Any in-jokes?

They only call each other pet names when they’re tired. And they probably have a million in-jokes that I’m not funny enough to come up with

Any tasks that are always left to one person?

Arsinoe always makes the bed bc she knows Billy likes to get into a made bed at the end of the day. Billy always washes and puts away the dishes bc the repetitive motion messes with Arsinoe’s bad shoulder

What annoys them the most about their partner? Would they change it if they could?

Billy gets upset over how far Arsinoe takes things when it come to helping/protecting her friends and family because it can get her hurt, but he wouldn’t change it bc he knows he would do the same thing. Arsinoe doesn’t like that Billy wants to protect her constantly but she wouldn’t change it bc very few people (basically Jules and Mirabella and that’s it) have ever cared about her enough to protect her

What do the like best about their partner?

Arsinoe adores how gentle but fierce Billy is and Billy loves how much joy Arsinoe brings to the lives of everyone she meets

Do they discuss big issues? Religion? Marriage? Children? Death?

They discuss it when they first start permanently living together. Neither are religious bc Arsinoe has trauma from the temple and Billy just doesn’t really care about religion. Both agreed very early on that they wanted to get married and have children. Neither wants to talk about death, they’ve had enough of that that they just want to push the conversation away.

Who drives? Cooks? Does the handiwork? Cleans? Pays the bills? Handles the public?

Billy drives, neither cook, Arsinoe does the handiwork, both clean, Billy pays the bills (bc patriarchy). Neither handle the public.

Do they celebrate holidays? Anniversaries?

They like to celebrate holidays bc it gives them a chance to get everyone together to celebrate. And they both go ham for anniversaries.

Is there a wedding? What was the proposal like? Any kind of honeymoon?

So Billy just proposes on a nondescript Sunday in summer when they’re chilling on the porch and he looks over and the sun is lighting Arsinoe up and he just knows that this is the perfect moment, so he grabs the ring he’s carried around for months out of his pocket, puts it on the table open and says “Hey babe, let’s get married” and that’s it, they’re engaged. So, the wedding is nice and the reception is rowdy but also very intimate - Billy and Arsinoe definitely cried during the vows they wrote themselves and their flower crowns were gorgeous. And for their honeymoon, they go to this really nice manor in the country and do typical honeymoon things ;) ;)

What do they do for fun? Do they have a favorite activity or do they like to switch things up?

They go on fun dates around the city - lots of horse-racing, boxing and rugby. Their favourite though is to try to find different, better places for picnics each week. It’s began to get very competitive.

Anything they both dread?

Both really don’t enjoy being separated. Which is not to say that they always have to be together or that they can’t exist without each other, but they enjoy each other’s company so long periods of separation make them sad.

How adventurous are they?

I mean, this is a couple who recreated “We’re going on a bear hunt” so they get pretty wild.

Do they keep secrets? Lie? Cheat?

They might keep secrets to surprise each other time to time, but they both value and love each other too much to even consider lying, cheating or keeping big secrets.

What would make them break up? Would it be permanent?

Nothing and if something did, it sure as fuck wouldn’t be a permanent break up.

What are their dates like? How long do/did they date? Do they ever feel the need to take a break from each other?

Their dates are pretty fun and involve food and laughing, regardless of what they do/where they go. They “dated” for like 3 years simply cause they’re both young and have all the time to get married. and they don’t really feel the need to take breaks but they do sometimes, just to feel independent.

What do they fight about? What are their arguments like? How do they make up?

They don’t really have big explosive arguments and fights because they’re good at expressing themselves. But when they do fight, they both yell and then they get really silent and then they talk it out. And then makeup sex.

What does their home look like? Their room?

The townhouse in the city - where they are normally - is mostly shades of baby blue and has the vibes of a rich 18th century family home. Their bedroom has sapphire blue walls and curtains with a four poster bed and a dresser and a wardrobe against the opposite wall. They have an ensuite with a massive bath and double vanity and a walk in robe. They also have a farmhouse and that is a lot more quaint.

Do they share any interests or hobbies?

Both enjoy looking after their chickens and the horses they own at the races but other than that they have their own hobbies.

Does their work ever interfere with the relationship?

Billy’s work requires a lot of travel that Arsinoe can’t go on sometimes, so they have to shift how their relationship works sometimes, but for the most part, it doesn’t matter how far apart they are.

How do they hug? Kiss? Tease? Flirt? Comfort?

Billy sometimes hugs Arsinoe around the shoulders and will kiss her temple, usually when he feels talking will ruin a quiet moment. Otherwise, Billy tucks Arsinoe into his chest and wraps his arms over her shoulders when hugging her. Arsinoe always puts at least one hand on Billy’s neck and Billy always puts on hand on Arsinoe’s waist/hip when they kiss. If Billy wants to tease, he holds Arsinoe’s hips and kisses her neck. Arsinoe could reveal an ankle and Billy would blush tbh. Both are terrible flirts so they don’t flirt very often. And in terms of comfort, a hand hold or a good hug is really good for them.

Any doubts about the relationship?

Nah, their solid

How much time do they spend together? Do they share their feelings, or hold things in?

They spend a lot of time together (to be clear, they definitely are comfortable to ask when they need independent time) but it’s not like they’re constantly speaking, touching, they could just be sitting in the same room and it’s comfy. And they’re the best at sharing feelings, mostly bc they’re both shit at holding things in.

How do their friends feel about their relationship? Their families?

Their friends think they’re an excellent couple. Billy’s family tries to focus more on Billy’s happiness than how unconventional Arsinoe is as a Mainlander partner

Do they have kids? Grow old together? Split up?

Billy and Arsinoe have four children, triplet boys and a girl who are agents of chaos but grow up surrounded by so much love and acceptance (unlike how their parents grew up). B*A do grow old together and are still a fucking power couple in their 90′s

What are their vacations like?

Both work quite hard day to day so when they’re on holiday they usually relax, stay in bed late or meander throughout local towns. 

How do they handle disasters or emergencies? Minor injuries? Sickness? 

Both are very calm, cool and collected during disasters or emergencies. Billy stresses about injuries and sickness while Arsinoe’s pretty nonchalant bc she usually knows how to fix it. However, neither like it when their kids are sick.

Could they manage a long distance relationship?

They could but they wouldn’t want to

Do they finish each other’s sentences? Pick up any phrases or habits from each other? Know when the other is hiding something?

They definitely have the ability to finish each other’s sentences. Arsinoe has picked up Billy’s habit of tapping fingers on any surface that is nearby and Billy has taken on Arsinoe’s habit of rubbing a cheek when nervous. And yes, they know when each other is hiding something but they trust that whatever is being hidden will be revealed when right.

Do they ever get into trouble? Is it serious, or are they just mischievous? 

Oh boy they get in trouble so much but in the fun, saucy, “we’re a young couple in love” kinda way

What kind of presents do they get each other? Do they only do it on special occasions?

They usually will get each other something heartfelt or practical, sometimes a mix of both. They aim to stick to holiday/birthday sharing but every now and then, it’ll be a matter of “I saw this and thought of you.”

Do they have any pets?

More chickens than they know what to do with. A couple of cats that come and go and a golden retriever that their kids got but won’t reveal how, they just bought it home one day.

Do they bring out the best in each other, or the worst? Do they have a fatal flaw?

They bring out the best in each other and they’re the definition of married people who are best friends. They don’t really have fatal flaws.

What’s their greatest strength as a couple? Their weakness?

Greatest strength is how much they love each other so they create an environment that is so comforting. They’re weakness is that they’re so cute it makes people angry.

How much would they be willing to sacrifice for the other? Any lines they refuse to cross?

They wouldn’t do anything a morally sound person would consider deplorable but they would definitely sacrifice a lot for each other. 

What are they like in the bedroom? Any kinks/fetishes/turn-ons? Anything they won’t do?

Look, they’re def 50/50 vanilla/kinky but in terms of specific turn ons, Arsinoe has a thing for Billy’s hands and Billy likes Arsinoe’s legs and butt (very valid takes). I also think that they would try different bedroom things at least once, for experimentation purposes.

Who initiated the relationship? Who kissed who first?  When did they realize they were in love?

They both kind of initiated the r/ship and technically Arsinoe kissed Billy first. Billy realised he loved Arsinoe when she jumped in front of the bear and Arsinoe realised she loved Billy when he tried to save her from the priestesses.

Any special memories? Do they have a special place they like to go to?

Their special memories come mostly from when Arsinoe came back from Fennbirn to the Mainland, their wedding day and their kids birthdays. Their special place is on the townhouse roof bc it’s quiet and they can see the stars really well from there. 

Are they party-goers? What are they like when they’re drunk? Does it happen often?

They go to the occaisional party if they like the people who will be there. Arsinoe can’t get drunk and Billy doesn’t drink bc he doesn’t like how angry and aggressive it makes him.

Do they let each other get away with things that would normally bother them?

Yes, but only to a certain extent. If it really bothers one of them, then that person will make a comment and that will prompt a change in behaviour from the offensive party.

Do they talk often? What about?

They talk all the time. Sometimes it’s dumb jokes or to check in with each other but mostly it’s just fun and boring married couple conversations.

Are the comfortable with each other? Anything they have to have their privacy for?

Billy and Arsinoe are very comfortable with each other. There’s nothing specific they require privacy for unless it’s for a surprise.

Any special dreams or goals they have as a couple? Any heartbreaks? Regrets?

I mean, they just really desperately want to have a normal “white picket fence” life with each other, marriage and kids included. They don’t have a lot of heartbreaks (simply bc at some point, the amount of trauma they’ve suffered has to stop) and they don’t have regrets because that’s not how they choose to live their lives.

[shiftysdogtags]

MA’AM I have come for some headcanons where you’re in a relationship with Malark and Skip is your best friend PLEASE 🥺

I honestly can't begin to describe my love for Skip and Malarkey. I really really had to include all the little gifs, partly because it's an excuse to use them all and partly because they’re needed to understand where my ramblings were going. I went a bit mad on this and I didn’t know where to stop and sorry I'm not sorry😂 I really hope you love it half as much as I do (so many gifs🙈)

There is so much love in this friendship and it is verbally said. Love in platonic relationships need to be normalised and it's something I am very much here for.

All requests are OPEN. (ships, headcanons and fics for the pacific and band of brothers)

Taglist: @hellitwasyoufirstsergeant @floydtab @curraheewestandalone

The first time Don mentioned you, Skip knew it was love. He couldn’t wait to meet you and see who the girl who stole his best friends’ heart. He knew if Don loved you, you must be really special, and he would love you too.

Skip was slightly jealous of you though because Don spent a lot of time with you. You were all Don could talk about and while Skip knew his friend was in love and he wanted the best for him, he just didn’t want to be forgotten.

When Don introduced you to Skip the first time, he was really nervous because he knows how Skip can be. Skip has no filter and one of his fears was you would take offence to somethings Skip would say, even though he wouldn’t have meant anything bad by it. You are the two most important people in his life. He really wanted the both of you to get on.

What he didn’t expect was the two of you to get on as well as you did. Skip brought out a side of you that Don didn’t know existed. The last thing he expected was for you two become friends straight away and you talked for hours without running out of things to talk about. Poor Don was so in awe he barely said anything and even if he wanted to, he couldn’t get a word in edge ways.  

Sometimes it was like you and Skip were in your own world and there was no one else around to interrupt you. Anyone who was looking in at you two had literally no idea what was going on, except that you were having the time of your life.

Skip loves to include you in on his jokes. Even when he doesn't actively say ‘let’s mess with Don’ you just know by the way he says things and the look that is on his face. Don can be quite gullible, and he believes 90% of everything the both of you say.

He hates it when you team up against him and on occasion, he can get a tiny bit snarky and he goes away on his own to sulk. Both you and Skip act like little school children and beg for forgiveness.

When Don feels like he isn’t getting enough attention he pouts, and he won't stop until he gets a kiss on the cheek. Once he gets his kiss he is back to normal. But I can really see Skip making fun of Malarkey by making kissy noises as he tries to peck his cheek too. Sometimes if he is feeling particularly brave, he will make the kissy noises while pretending to kiss your cheek and Malarkey has to physically pull him off you. It's Skip’s way of telling him to grow up and that he hasn't forgotten about him.

People have asked you if you and Skip were in a relationship. Neither one of you have laughed as much or as hard in all your lives. You're more like the crazy cousins at the family reunion. You just have this deep bond you can't explain to other people. Don has accepted that sometimes it's him that is the third wheel and he has no problem with this because he is so secure in his relationship with you as a partner, and Skip as a friend.

When the three of you are together, and you tell Don you love him, you always tell Skip you love him too, because you do love him. It's not a romantic love so it's said very innocently. You love Skip in a completely platonically way and there is nothing between you but amicable friendship. He says it to you too when he leaves and when he’s feeling particularly emotional. And you better believe Don chases after him if Ship doesn't say it to him.

When you and Skip get together, nothing is off limits. You egg each other on and it's almost as if you're trying to outdo yourselves each time. Everything in your path gets turned upside-down and nothing is spared. Sometimes things get out of hand, and while you have no problem in apologising and admitting wrongdoing, Malarkey is always nearby to help you out.

And if you though the anarchy only applied to you and Skip, it only gets worse when Malarkey joins in. The little trio is sometimes known as the ‘triple threat’. The chaos multiplies tenfold, but it is also somehow more restrained. It is anyone’s guess how this is possible, but it must be due to Don’s restraint and unwillingness to get into trouble.

The three of you have managed to create a whole new level on the sarcasm scale. When most people would hear the three of you and think the joke was taken too far, you all laugh and try to come back with something more sarcastic. It is always harmless banter that flows between you, and you're such an iconic little trio. 

There have been countless times Don has come home and you're chilling with Skip on the sitting room floor looking at the ceiling with crazy straws in some fruity drink. He has learned, the hard way, not to ask questions and more often than not he grabs a cushion and joins in.

Other times he has gotten out of bed and Skip has you covered in flour dancing around the kitchen while attempting to make pancakes. Scenes of mayhem like this are normal. If Skip isn’t around, it almost feels weird as if something is missing because it's too quiet.

As much as Skip loves hanging around with you and Don, he also knows that you both need time alone as a couple and he has no problem with making himself scarce. After all, he knows you're basically all but married to his friend and he doesn't want to outstay his welcome.

Despite them being grown men, they're always messing and they can fight like two kids when one accuses the other of stealing their toy. The only ‘fights’ the two boys have had are little five-minute spats and then all is forgiven. They can never stay mad at each other because they're already onto the next joke, laughing loudly between them.

They have their own little language between them. It’s filled with sarcasm and private jokes. You've picked up on a few key phrases and meaning throughout they years but everything else is a mystery.  

You love to hear them talking about the most random of things and you only get involved if they invite you into the discussion. A serious topic of conversation is rare, but it does happen. There is no judgement between them, each offering advice to the other. The bond between the two men is something you have never experienced before, and you can see the love they have for each other.

Don is Skip’s best friend, end of conversation. Although you have a great relationship with Skip, you know Don comes first for both of you.

[amydancepants-peralta]

89, 91 or 98 please if you're taking prompts!! i can't decide !!!🥵🕊🕊

Me neither haha!  So ... here’s all three. 😅👶🏻💖

(89: “Mondays are your diaper days”, 91: “Oooh... someone’s got a tummy ache and 98: “I think we should have another.”)

i think our story needs more pages

There’s an unmissable smile of contentment on Jake Peralta’s face as he wipes down the last section of the kitchen bench, softly humming the theme song to Transformers while he rinses the washcloth under the tap.  (The original, of course - the remakes all have their merits but when it comes to theme songs, nothing beats the classic version, and that is the hill he will die on.)  

Not so long ago, a perfect day for him would have undoubtedly involved some sort of high-speed chase (or diffusing a hostage situation … or jumping from an exploding chopper with a knife between his teeth … he’s not fussy when it comes to the details, really) - but after spending the majority of today at their nephew Aaron’s third birthday party, he finds himself completely unable to hide the sheer joy that is thrumming through his veins.

He knows that he could attribute a certain portion of his great mood to the lasting effect of that second slice of ice-cream cake he’d had mere hours ago (or the light-up keyring he won during pass the parcel), but it all really came down all of the sweet moments in-between: standing in the shaded sun, surrounded by family, and watching as his son played with all of his cousins.  

It’s the kind of life that once upon a time would have seemed totally implausible, but now was absolutely his reality, and just the mere thought of a thousand more days like it put Jake on an all-time natural high.  

It has been fifteen months since the birth of their son, a child born of liquid fire that went by the name of Mac.  Fifteen months of diaper changes, screaming fits and mashed food everywhere.  And also; fifteen months of the softest of cuddles, impossibly tiny hands wrapping themselves around his fingers, and the deepest of brown eyes that took in everything imaginable.  He misses sleep (oh, how he misses real, uninterrupted SLEEP), but if that was the tradeoff for having a miniature version of him and Amy taking wobbly steps around their apartment, Jake would do it all again in a nanosecond.  

He had no idea how powerful the sound Dada would be, but the first time he heard it on his son’s lips, he straight-up cried.  And … maybe again when Mama followed shortly after.  Now, Mac’s vocabulary has expanded to five whole words (including Wowo, which both he and Amy are 90% certain stands for Aunty RoRo, and have agreed that it’s best for everyone if Charles just simply doesn’t know), and both parents couldn’t be prouder if they tried. 

There’s been an idea in the back of his mind for a few months now, one that has grown all the more after today’s festivities, and after pouring both he and his wife a half glass of wine each Jake makes his way over to the living room, still unable to wipe the smile off of his face when he takes in the scene in front of him.

Mac lay stretched out on the couch, his tiny duck printed pyjama shirt riding high and exposing his belly button as he rests his head on Amy’s lap.  Fast asleep, his eyes remain closed as Amy’s fingers run gently through his hair, his tiny chest rising and up down in even breaths.  It’s a sight Jake’s seen a hundred times before, but one that he never truly gets enough of, and after quietly placing the wine glasses on a nearby table he reaches out to tug Mac’s shirt a little lower.  

“I think someone’s got a tummy ache,” Amy whispers, mirroring Jake’s responding pout as he settles down on the couch, their sleeping son in between them.  “He only had the smallest taste of the cake .. but I guess when combined with the excitement of the day and all the dancing he did, the poor little guy is just completely wiped.”

(Mac’s ‘dancing’ was really just an unsteady yet adorable bouncing in place, both feet planted to the floor as his arms flail about to whatever music just happens to be playing, and the similarities between that and some of Amy’s dance moves have not gone unnoticed.)

Jake furrows his brow in response, instinctively reaching out to run a soothing hand over his son’s stomach.  “He’s all Mac’d out.”  He’d watched from the rear view mirror on the drive home as the gentle bumps of the road lulled Mac to sleep, his tiny curls squished along the edges of the carseat he was buckled into.  His (at times, endless) energy had been renewed by the time Amy had carried him up the stairs, the sneakers that Uncle Charles had given him making high-pitched squeaks as he’d run with tiny toddler steps around their apartment (the contents of which by now were entirely child-proof) for the rest of the afternoon.  

It was exhausting chasing after a toddler, but also strangely exhilarating, and watching Amy settle onto Mac’s play mat and help him with his building blocks as Jake had began to prepare dinner had just felt so right, it was hard to imagine what their afternoons used to be like pre-child.  

With his fingertip gently tracing the outline of one of the ducks on his son’s pyjama set, Jake watches as Amy uses her free hand to take a sip from her wine glass before speaking.

“I think we should have another.”  

His eyes squeeze shut as soon as he’s blurted it out, twisting his mouth into a wince.  There were a thousand different ways he could have phrased it (and lord knows he’s practised a few versions in the past few weeks), but nooo.  Great work as always, Peralta.

Amy’s head is cocked slightly to the side when he opens his eyes again, and she gestures vaguely at the glass.  “Another wine?  I’ve only just started this one.”

“Oh.  Ahh, no - sorry.  Ugh.  That was my terribly unsubtle way of saying that I’ve been thinking that maybe … we should try and have another baby.”

Raising her eyebrows, Amy’s hand stills amongst their son’s curly hair, and after a (thankfully brief) pause, she replies.  “You do?”

Jake can feel a soft smile begin to grow on his face, and he nods.  “Yeah, I do.”  Lifting his hand so that he can run his fingers ever so lightly along the bridge of Mac’s nose, he gives Amy a half shrug.  “I mean … I’ve watched you with your brothers over the years, and it’s just amazing the kind of bond all of you have.”  Mac’s eyelids begin to flutter, and Jake pulls his hand away before he accidentally wakes him.  “Even when you hate them with a passion, you still love them, and there’s just some things that you intrinsically know about each other without any prompting.  It’s the kind of closeness that can’t ever be replicated, and I would just really love to give Mac that kind of childhood.”

Amy smiles at the thought, giving Jake a tiny nod of encouragement to continue.

“I know that I had Gina a lot of the time, but at some point she would go home to her family, and then it was just me and my mom … and don’t get me wrong, that was great, but there were definitely times when I had wished that I could have had somebody to hang out with.  Especially when my mom started working two jobs and I saw her less and less.  TV and cake did an okay job raising me, but I do sometimes wonder … what if.”

With her nods growing bigger, Amy glances down at Mac.  “I’d be lying if I said I hadn’t been thinking the same thing.”

Jake’s heart skips a beat, and he leans forward slightly.  As much as he might want to try and expand their family, it all really came to do Amy, and how she felt about it.  He’s never pressured her into anything, and he certainly wasn’t about to start now.  “You have?”

“Yeah.  Been thinking about it a lot, actually.  My family was loud growing up, but it was also kind of great.”

They grin at each other over their son’s sleeping form.  Maybe, this was actually going to happen.  

Mac wriggles in his sleep, his sock-covered feet stretching out slightly and nudging against Jake’s thigh, and Jake lifts them up to rest on his lap as he shuffles a little closer to Amy.  “This morning, when I picked him up out of his crib, he just had the biggest, gummiest smile on his face, and then he hugged me like there was no tomorrow and I just … it’s only the best feeling and … well, you know.”

“I do.  That little Mama! that I heard this morning?  I wish I had recorded it, it sounded so sweet.  He’s just the cutest.”

“Exactly!”  Jake reaches his left hand out, resting it on the portion of Amy’s leg that hasn’t been occupied by their sleeping son.  “And honestly, I just keep getting this image in my head of a mini Amy walking around; with tiny little binders tucked under her arm and the same gorgeous eyes as her mother, learning so quickly whenever her big brother shows her how to do something.  Can’t you see it, Ames?”

Laughing, Amy shakes her head.  “She wouldn’t have binders, Jake” and he nods because obviously a toddler wouldn’t have a binder, but then she continues.  “She’d have a notepad.  Binders are serious business.  You gotta work your way up to them.”

“Right, of course.  My mistake, babe.”

Covering his hand with her own, Amy links slides her fingers in between Jake’s and rests them there.  “It does scare me a little, though.”

Picking up on the sudden softness of his wife’s voice, Jake looks over carefully.  “Having another baby?”

She nods, a tentative smile lifting the edges of her lips for a mere second before falling.  “Yeah.  I mean … it wasn’t exactly easy last time.  What if next time, it’s even harder?  Or it just … doesn’t work?”

Jake’s eyes fall back down to their son, this miniature version of both of them had wished so hard for.  Amy was right - it hadn’t been easy last time, and there honestly weren’t any guarantees that it was going to be any better the second time around.  It’s one of the main reasons why it had taken him so long to talk to her about it.  But as he feels her fingers gently shift against his own, Jake realises the most simplest of truths, and looks back up at his wife.

“I know that this is probably going to go against all of your instincts, but when it comes to this I think we just kind of need to let fate play it’s hand.  We can only try, you know?  If it doesn’t work, it doesn’t work.”  Shifting his weight, he rests his shoulder against hers.  “We’re a family, no matter what.  Whether there’s three of us, or four, or five.  We can get through anything, Ames.  If there is anything the past ten years have taught us, it’s that.”

The side of Amy’s head rests against his, and he feels her nod.  “I love you, Jake Peralta.”

Squeezing their fingers, Jake cranes his neck marginally to the left to leave a kiss against Amy’s hairline.  “I love you too, Ames.”

From below them, Mac rolls onto his side; one hand curling into Amy’s sweater, and both of them seperate slightly to watch him sleep.

Taking another tiny sip from her glass, Amy sighs happily.  “You know … if we do this, we’d really need to look into moving somewhere bigger.”  Her eyes wander over the room, eventually landing on a framed photo of the three of them that had been taken five months ago.  “Maybe even buying something, if we were really careful with our finances.”

Jake’s smile grows impossibly bigger, and briefly he wonders if he’s going to have sore cheeks tomorrow from all of it.  “Honestly?  That sounds kinda amazing.”

“Yeah?”

“Yeah.  I mean …” Jake pauses, sliding his right hand along the back of his neck in a move that his wife has long since called ‘The Dropping of Peralta’s Guard’, feeling one side of his mouth slide up ever so slightly as he turns his attention back to Amy.  “I love this apartment, and living in the city, but … the only thing I’ve ever really owned is your heart.  And that beat up Mustang I had for a while there, but money-wise that was mainly on loan, so … yeah.  Just you.”  His hands raise quickly, showing his palms in surrender.  “Not that I own you or anything, because that’s ridiculous, I just meant that you totally own mine and that’s - mmff” the rest of his sentence is muffled, the press of Amy’s lips against his stealing the last fragments of thought, and by instinct his arms wrap tightly around her waist, as best as he can with Mac still resting on their laps.    

Amy’s smiling as she pulls away, her hand sliding down his cheek until she’s resting her thumb in the tiny dimple at the bottom that he’d always hated until the love of his life made it a favourite, and honestly, how she makes his heart flutter even after all this time is just pure magic.

“I know what you meant, babe, and I love you for saying it.  You absolutely own my heart … well, you and Mister Mac do, anyway.  And I wouldn’t have it any other way.”  

Sliding his right hand further up his wife’s back, Jake pulls in her for another kiss.  He would happily share the space with Mac, and any other children that they might end up having, for the rest of his life (and maybe a hundred or so more years after that).  Toying with the ends of her hair as they part, Jake’s shoulders rise in a tiny shrug.  “Honestly, falling in love with you is the best investment I’ve ever made.  But the thought of actually buying a house with you, and turning it into a home that our kids will grow up in?  A backyard filled with toys and swing sets and maybe even a cat or two?  It sounds like the greatest idea ever.”

“And maybe a park nearby, where we can teach our kids to ride a bike?”

“Plus a basketball hoop over the garage door - because their Dad can dunk, and he’s totally going to show them how.  Not to mention a study lined floor to ceiling with bookshelves, all of them filled to the brim.”

Amy’s eyes begin to glisten slightly, and she leans in to rest both of her hands on Jake’s forearm.  “Don’t forget the front porch for us to sit on when we’re older, rocking in our chairs and stealing all of the other kid’s frisbees when they land on our lawn.”

“Of course!  We’re going to be the COOLEST house in the neighbourhood, with the dopest Halloween decorations.  Acting purely as a distraction, naturally, while we carry out whatever version of the heist we’re up to by then.”

Raising her chin slightly, Amy’s eyes turn suddenly serious.  “Your mind is going to be blown when you realise what I already have planned for then, Peralta.”

“Yet another reason to have a second baby!  One on each team!”

One of Amy’s eyebrows raises coyly, and she whispers “That’s what you think” as she leans in for another kiss, shortened by the soft laughter that falls from Jake’s mouth.  

“I really do love you, Ames.  Pre-emptive plotting for my children to heist against me and all.”

She giggles, and Mac lets out a tiny grumble as he begins to wake.  Scooting his butt to the edge of the couch, Jake slides his hand along his son’s back, holding him warm against his chest and tightening his grip as Mac nuzzles into his neck, still half asleep.  “Okay, time to take this party animal to bed.  Say goodnight, mommy!”

Raising herself up until she’s kneeling into the couch cushions, Amy leans in to press a kiss against Mac’s cheek, replicating the action on Jake’s as she pulls away.  “Goodnight, my sweet prince.  And babe, I think a diaper change might be in order.”

Wrinkling his nose, Jake nods.  “Yeah, I agree.”

“Want me to do it?”

“Nah.  Mondays are your diaper days, Sundays are mine.  I’ve got this.  You sit back and relax, and have a look at our schedules for when we can book a babysitter so that we can … practice.”

Resting her weight back down on her heels, Amy sinks her teeth into her lower lip.  “You know I’m a big believer in practice makes perfect, Peralta.”

“Indeed I do, Santiago.”  Lifting up one of Mac’s arms to mimic a tiny wave, Jake heads slowly towards Mac’s bedroom, intent on getting him changed and into bed with minimal disruption.  

(There ends up only being one tiny meltdown, but it’s nothing that a combined goodnight hug from both Mommy and Daddy can’t fix.)

*

In fifteen years time, there will be a house in Brooklyn - just outside the city centre, so close enough for the daily commute - that has contained so much love within its four walls that it has long since seeped into its foundation.

There will be a doorframe near the kitchen, marked with a variety of ascending lines drawn in marker, catalogued by both name and year as they rise.  A myriad of photos and commendations will line the walls (in no particular order, a fact that is made very clear), and the memories of each captured moment will last long after the images have faded.  

It will be their home - the Peralta-Santiago fortress against the rest of the world - and although life will forever throw curve balls their way, if there’s anything their children know for sure it’s that as a family, they’re always going to be there for each other.  No matter what. 

(Also, that Wario cheats.) 

[neversatisfiedswitch]

Obey Me! Tickle Headcanons

I’m so obsessed with Obey Me! rn, and considering that’s where my brain is, I wrote some headcanons for all the brothers, starting with the oldest and ending with the youngest.

Pls help, I’m blushing now from writing these, especially the teases. Why must these boys destroy me like this. ;0;

Also I almost posted this on my normal RP blog and I had a mini heart attack fkdsjkfl--

Lucifer

Lee, Ler, or Switch?: 110% Ler. He will wreck anyone who attempts to tickle him... except the main character, but only when he’s feeling generous.

As a ler:

This one could go under the lee category BUT I feel it’s necessary to put it at the top: You cannot and should not attempt to tickle him. He will W R E C K you

He probably finds out you’re ticklish while you’re not paying attention in class or something and he pokes you, and you jump, and he just smiles sweetly at you while his eyes say that you’re screwed and he just says gently “Oh, sorry. I didn’t mean to startle you.”

He’s the second-most powerful demon in the Devildom (second only to Diavolo) and he’ll absolutely use his strength to his advantage. He doesn’t even have to TRY to be able to pin you down, he can do it without any effort

Is the master of gentle, agonizing tickles, but being the oldest of his brothers he can definitely be rougher if he needs to, especially if the gentler touches don’t break you

Knows where and how to dig in with his fingers, and since he always wears silk gloves his fingers tickle even more on bare skin— but if you’re close enough with him he might nuzzle your neck or ear too, maybe even nibble if you’re comfortable with it

I imagine since he doesn’t really know how to be affectionate that he won’t tease you in a normal way, mostly just makes observations and noises like he’s studying you. And tells you that you should be regretting messing with him, which you probably will

“Hmm...” “This seems like a particularly ticklish spot.” “Sensitive there?” “What’s that? You’re sorry? Good. You should be.” “Begging so soon? But we’ve only just begun.”

His expression doesn’t even change either, just the same old concentrated look he gives assignments or problems while he’s tickling you to death

And if you irk him to the point that he goes into his demon form, YOU ARE D E A D because you better believe he’ll use all 4 of his wings to torment you along with his hands, and then you’ll be screwed

Depending on what caused him to tickle you, he may sit with you and hold you to be sure he didn’t accidentally kill you via tickles, or he might just tell you to think more about your actions next time and just walk away

Also just as another note: it is nigh-impossible to startle him. So if you go after him, 99.9% of the time you’re going to be the one laughing and dying, unless you get lucky

As a lee:

As previously stated, Lucifer is EXTREMELY difficult to sneak up on. No one has taken his picture while he’s asleep, and only one person has even seen him shirtless— he’s nigh-impossible to catch off-guard

So if you do, or if he decides to let you tickle him, you’ll have to distract him from holding his laughter back. He can really hold it in for a long time before he breaks

On the home screen he’ll sometimes say “Are you trying to tickle me? You’ll have to do a better job than that.” or the phrase in the picture above. This is what he’ll say if you try without warning. Every. Time.

He’s honestly not very ticklish, probably like a 5/10 on the sensitivity scale

Because no one ever sees him without his clothes, I feel like his torso is the most sensitive area. Mostly his ribs, sides, and back, though his waist is a good spot too

Once you get your fingers on him and he’s either too tired or too distracted to not hold his laughter back, he’s doomed— he can’t even beg for mercy (and won’t bc his pride won’t let him) bc he’s laughing so much

He’ll basically crumple to the floor and be a giggling laughing mess, but you have to follow him down or else he’ll turn on you

If you really want to drive him crazy, spider your fingers over his back. He’ll laugh so hard that his face will turn red immediately, and he’ll just... collapse onto the floor, completely helpless

His genuine laughter is soft and melodic, almost angelic— considering he’s a fallen angel, and considered the most beautiful in all of creation, it makes sense that it would be. It’s softer and lighter than his speaking voice and can certainly be contagious if he’s laughing hard enough

Don’t take pictures of his blush or take any videos of you tickling him. He will immediately gain his strength back and wreck you until you delete them, and probably wreck you further for good measure

As long as you don’t tease him too much, he’ll probably let you go and smile genuinely at you as you leave— but don’t tell anyone bc he WILL find out, and he WILL destroy you

Alternately, if you decide to stay with him, he’ll probably get you back immediately, though it won’t be as bad as if you didn’t manage to catch him off-guard

Mammon

Lee, Ler, or Switch?: Thinks he’s more of a Ler, but in reality he’s 80% Lee and 20% Ler. He’s too ticklish to really get anyone besides you.

As a ler:

He doesn’t ever need a reason to tickle you, he just wants to— maybe he wants a little money, maybe he needs a pencil, or maybe he’s just having a bad day, but he’ll tickle you bc he feels like it

You can also goad him into doing it pretty easily, he’s a hothead (but not a violent one) AND he’s perceptive so if he knows you’re trying to make him tickle you he’ll just do it

Finds out bc as the first demon you make a pact with, he probs sleeps in your room a lot (or you sleep in his room bc he asks you to), so he pokes you to make you wake up one morning and he recognizes that the noise you just made was a squeak, and by that point it’s all over for you

Despite how much more powerful he is than you, he likes to roughhouse— he’ll tackle you (gently and on carpet/a bed/a couch etc) and roll around with you before he pins you, but he’ll always be the one pinning you if he’s decided to tickle you

He’s a master at tickling— whatever gets you hysterical is whatever he does, whether it’s spidering, digging in, light touches, raspberries, biting, or using tools, he’ll drive you crazy

His favorite is definitely nibbling though— he’s a dork who loves being close to you even if you don’t romance him, so you can guarantee he’ll be nibbling somewhere, probably your neck or tummy

Also: TEASY A F BOIII— he will tease you so damn much the entire time and laugh along with you, and probably try to make you praise him

“Why’re you laughin’, eh? Somethin’ funny?” “Tickle tickle tickle, ya little nerd!” “What? You want me t’stop? Hmm, maybe if ya paid me... with giggles.” “You laughin’ at me, punk?! Guess I’ll have t’punish ya.” “Say ‘Mammon’s the greatest’! C’mooon, you can do it!”

He’s always grinning and making faces while he’s tickling you, because he’s a dork like that

His wings in his demon form are bony and batlike, but that won’t stop him from dragging the tips across your skin in an attempt to drive you up the wall

He’ll flop down next to you when he stops tickling you, probably still poking you and teasing you for a bit, but making sure he didn’t go overboard— and he’s always up for cuddles, so unless you ask him to leave he’ll cuddle you afterwards

As a lee:

It’s easy to tickle Mammon, you just poke him anywhere and he’s giggling

On the sensitivity scale he’s the most ticklish out of his brothers, a definite 12/10– he’s just that sensitive

You’re the only person he’ll give in to when it comes to tickles— he’ll give them and receive them from you without any fuss, but with anyone else he’s grouchy about it

If you’ve seen his demon form, and noticed the fact that the top part of his outfit doesn’t cover his torso, and you think he’s not ticklish there? Think again, his tummy, belly button, and hips are his worst spots

If you tell him he should cover up his torso if he doesn’t want anyone to tickle it he’ll just sputter in embarrassment

Once you’re tickling him, even lightly, he can’t take it— he’ll just drop to the floor shrieking and begging you to stop (but don’t bc he kind of likes the attention, though he won’t admit it)

If you get your finger in his belly button his laughter will go completely silent, and squeezing his hips will make him squeal

He cannot take what he dishes out— teasing makes him a blushing, sputtering mess, and all of his own tactics work against him, including (and ESPECIALLY) nibbling

His laughter is adorable and completely contagious, and higher-pitched than his speaking voice— he also snorts when he laughs, and if he realizes he snorted he gets flustered

If you take a picture of him he’ll threaten you to make you delete it, but he doesn’t really mind as long as you don’t show anyone else

Just like when he tickles you, he wants cuddles afterwards— and he might use that as an excuse to get you back when he’s not out of breath, but he’ll also just take cuddles either way

Leviathan

Lee, Ler, or Switch?: Totally a Lee, but if you challenge him on anything he’ll tickle the hell out of you. So like 90% Lee and 10% Ler.

As a ler:

He’ll only tickle you if you ask him to, if you did something to irritate him, or if you’re making him jealous because of something you have that he wants (or if you know more about something than he does)

He’s an otaku, so he’s probably already delved into the world of tickling bc of the tickle scenes you see in media, and he’s probably watched Mammon wreck you a few times so he guessed pretty quickly that you’re ticklish without being so hands-on himself

Not as powerful as Mammon or Lucifer, but still a demon nonetheless— and even tho he’s a shut-in and doesn’t get out much he’s still pretty good at pinning people down, though he might see the position you’re in and think it’s a little suggestive, maybe even blush bc he’s easily embarrassed

He approaches tickling like he approaches his games— dives right in, testing everything out, then goes full-on with whatever works the best, babbling excitedly all the while until you’re a screeching mess of laughter

He mostly just teases you by saying he’s better than you, but he doesn’t really mean it... also he makes video game/media/nerdy references a lot

“You can’t defeat the mighty Levi! Muahahaha!” “Playing games is fun, but it’s more fun to wreck you.~” “This is just like that scene I watched in this anime called—“ “You’re a lot squishier than my keyboard, but at least my fingers don’t hurt now!” “Get wrecked, nerd! Lololol”

He’s basically treating this like a game— that’s what tickling is to him anyway— and while he’ll definitely stop if you’re desperate enough, he’ll always ask if you give up before he quits, and then gloat that he won

And if he gets you in his demon form, there’s no escape— he’ll wrap you up in his tail and get you even worse, now that he has more room to work with

Usually offers you a snack or something when he stops tickling you, maybe suggests you lay on his bed and watch him game, or even lets you beat him in an easy game so you feel better— but he won’t admit he’s being soft toward you

As a lee:

He has a few tickle spots, but he only lets his guard down when he’s at home in his room— and once you get him started laughing, it’s hard for him to stop

He’s a solid 9/10, surpassed only by Mammon, and he’s different from the others in that he very much likes tickling— it just makes him blush a lot

He’s a sensitive baby, his sides, waist,  thighs, and armpits are all very sensitive, but his death spot is his tummy

Doesn’t beg for you to stop, but will deny that he enjoys it or that he’s even laughing— the fact that he doesn’t fight back doesn’t help him any... it’s clear he enjoys it bc when you rub his character model during certain interactions in the game, he giggles, and it gives the most amount of intimacy and a large amount of hearts (as seen in the image above)

If you use the “claw” tactic on his tummy he goes ballistic, shrieking like he’s dying, and his face will turn bright red while he tries to cover his cheeks with his hands

He hates being teased, and will always tell you to shut up, and that you’re lying, but if you’re silent he begs you to say something

He has an adorable, sweet little laugh, and his giggles are angelic— it makes anyone feel better to tickle him, but he hates his laugh and will threaten you if you compliment it

He’ll blush himself to death if you try and take a picture of him, he’d really rather you didn’t but as long as you keep it to yourself he’ll let you keep it on your phone

Gets clingy after tickles and will crawl over to put his head in your lap and ask you to pet his hair, then asks if you’d want to watch something or read a manga together

Satan

Lee, Ler, or Switch?: Ler, full stop. Thinks of tickling as bonding and likes doing it more than having it done to him.

As a ler:

As seen when he and his brothers attempt to get Belphegor to crack a smile, he’s very sneaky and knows how to creep up behind someone to grab them

He’s very mischievous when it comes to tickling, he’s the Avatar of Wrath so making someone smile rather than making them mad is new to him and he enjoys it more than anything else

Probably found out bc you offered to help him fix his books, and so you were on a ladder reaching up and your shirt pulled up and he poked at your exposed side, nearly making you drop the book on his head, to which he only said “Oops.” and gave you a grin that said you were done for

Relies on the element of surprise to pin you rather than just strength, though as someone born of Lucifer he’s not weak at all and he can really hold you down if he needs to

He’s slow and methodical, testing out every spot to see what gets you laughing the most, then starts from your least ticklish spot and works his way up to the most ticklish

Being a book lover he has to write occasionally too, so he has all kinds of writing utensils around that he uses to tickle you with— quills, pens, pencils, calligraphy brushes, etc

Mostly just laughs along with you, but if he’s using something to write on you with he’ll tell you to be still and tease you about messing up his writing, though mostly he just teases about your sensitivity— and he may even use you as a book holder, tickling you and scolding you if you move the book too much

“Stop squirming, you’ll mess up the ink.” “This is illegible... Oh, well, looks like I’ll have to start over.” “Your laugh is adorable, you should do it more often.” “Oh, was that a bad spot? I’ll have to file that away for later use.” “Your laughter is distracting me from my book. Tone it down or I’ll really give you something to laugh about.”

He’ll smile fondly while he’s tickling you— he can’t help it, seeing that he makes someone else happy and laugh is so refreshing for him

Two bad things about his demon form: first, his tail is long enough to snake around you and the scaly feeling of it would drive anyone up the wall, and second, he wears a feather boa that he most definitely would use to wreck someone with, or even tie their wrists or ankles together

Will help you sit up, rub your back and run his hand through your hair once he’s stopped tickling you, and will let you lean against him while he reads to you so you can calm down

As a lee:

Satan has to be in the right mood to laugh— trying to tickle him when he’s mad will upset him, but if he’s in a good mood he’ll let you do it

He’s about a 6/10 on the sensitivity scale, since he’s not deathly ticklish it’s more of a bonding experience for him than anything else

His neck, ears, and armpits are his worst spots, which is ironic considering the feather boa he wears has to be sitting a certain way so he won’t tickle himself accidentally

Will squirm minimally, doesn’t want to knock you off and hurt you, and enjoys the contact though he wishes it wasn’t tickling that you chose as your method to get close to him

If you get your fingers in his armpits he’ll cackle himself silly, and brushing feathers against his neck will make him blush so badly that it spreads across his body

Covers his face as much as possible when he’s being teased, scrunches up his shoulders and giggles out half-hearted pleas for you to stop, and sometimes threats that you can’t take seriously due to his laughter

His laugh is deep and soothing, even when he’s hysterical, and it can instantly relieve the stress of whoever’s tickling him

He’ll allow you to take a picture of him blushing, but only if you don’t tell anyone why, and you let him compose himself a little first

Will lean against you like a cat, reading to calm himself down, and tell you exactly when he’s going to get you next— sometimes it’ll be right after you’ve finished tickling the hell out of him

Asmodeus

Lee, Ler, or Switch?: Ler all the way, except for you— because you tickling him means you’ll touch him.

As a ler:

Despite loving to touch you and being the Avatar of Lust, he’s respectful of boundaries, and won’t tickle you the first time until you ask him to or let him know it’s okay

After that it’s clear he loves making you laugh, though he’ll only do it when he knows you need it as opposed to pouncing on you out of nowhere

Found out bc during a cuddle session he stuck his hand slightly up your shirt and you started twitching, and he immediately thought you were uncomfortable— but then he saw the little upturn of your lips and figured it out immediately

Also knows tickling could turn into more, but when he knows you just want it to be fun he refrains from being too terribly suggestive

He’s small and quiet so he can totally sneak up on anyone and jump on their back, or pounce on them when they least expect it, but will always warn you before he does that so you’re not startled

Depending on what mood you’re in he’s either gentle and sweet or rough and merciless, though he can’t resist digging into your worst spots when he finds them

His teases are compliments— he wants you to feel good about yourself, to admit your best qualities, and he takes the opportunity to tickle the positivity out of you

“I’ll stop tickling if you say you’re cute.” “Come on now, say something you’re good at, or I can stay at this spot allll day.” “Stop bringing yourself down or I’ll go for your worst spot.” “You have ten seconds to say you’re beautiful or I’ll tickle you for ten minutes.” “You’re practically glowing today— did you do something different? Don’t lie to me, I’ll knoooow!~”

He’ll giggle and smile brightly  while he’s tickling you, and often he’ll hum and make up his own little songs to sing to tease you

He can’t really get you with his wings in his demon form bc they’re too short, but that form does make him a lot more cuddly so he’ll tickle-cuddle the hell out of you if he catches you in that form

Will pull you into his lap and rub your back, ask if you’re okay, and hum softly to calm you down— maybe even give you a massage if you need it

As a lee:

Considering how much Asmo likes it when you touch him, he’s basically down for you to tickle him anytime

He’s about a 4/10 on the sensitivity scale— the least ticklish out of his brothers, but he does have a tickle spot

His palms and knees— front and back— are sensitive, but not enough to make him really laugh, his one bad tickle spot is his feet and they’re sensitive enough to make up for his lack of sensitivity everywhere else

Still tries to seem dainty despite the fact that he’s falling apart while you’re tickling him— he might kick a little and shove at you, but he’s honestly just happy you’re touching him

Going after his toes makes him shriek, and he may start begging for mercy if you go after them too long, though unless he’s crying from laughter he won’t actually want you to stop

He can handle teases better than anyone else, mostly because he’s honestly self-absorbed and anything you say to him comes out as a compliment— so teasing does nothing to him

His laugh is sweet, soft, and rather delicate, like him, and his giggles are extremely contagious— he says he likes his laugh quite a lot

If you want to take a picture, he has to be sure his hair is perfect first— but even if he’s blushing, he never minds when pictures are taken of him, and even if you tell others you were tickling him, he won’t mind

He has to freshen himself up after being tickled, but once he’s done that, he curls up against your side and tells you he loves laughing with you, then goes back to cuddling with you like he was before

Beelzebub

Lee, Ler, or Switch?: Equal switch— he loves tickling, and usually enjoys being tickled, depending on who’s doing it.

As a ler:

Won’t hesitate to just throw you over his shoulder, carry you off to either of your rooms, and absolutely destroy you—  if it seems like you need it, or you goad him into doing it

Third only to food and being around Belphegor, your laugh is what brightens his day the most— he likes being able to unwind after a lot of stress by tickling you and letting his worries drift away with your laughter

He found out when you were trying to get some cookies off of a high shelf, because Beel was too weak from hunger to stand on the chair, but when you lost your balance and almost fell, he caught you with one hand on your hip and the other under your arm, and when you spasmed he immediately knew why

He doesn’t sneak up on anyone— if you’re going to be tickled, you’re going to be tickled. You’ll hear him coming and get a chance to hide, but you probably won’t be able to because he’ll find you eventually

Despite his size, he’s gentle when tickling you, at least with his hands— though he enjoys acting like he’ll eat you, due to how many funny noises you make, so he uses his mouth and teeth to tickle more often than not

His teasing is mostly food-related, as are most things with Beel, and he always says he’ll eat you, though it’s clear he’d never dream of actually doing it... he also uses the standard “tickle” tease, drawing it out to fluster you more

“Your ribs look rather tasty... I’m going to nibble them.” “What fruit is that named after again? Raspberries? Fitting, you match one right about now.” “Nom, nom, nom... your belly is tastier than a cheeseburger by far.” “Tickle tickle tickle... what, is that funny?” “If you buy me food, I’ll let you go... nah, never mind, I won’t.”

He’ll chuckle and make funny little faces while he tickles you, and try to make eye contact as much as possible to really make you blush

His wings aren’t that useful in his demon form, but the fact that his teeth sharpen is— he’ll be even more gentle when nibbling you, but you can bet it’ll tickle ten times worse to have demon teeth scraping across your skin

Will pull you into his arms and offer you some food, then rest his chin on top of your head and hug you to calm you down, smiling like a goof the entire time

As a lee:

Generally, the hungrier he is, the less strength he has to fight back— but it’s best to catch him when he’s not so hungry that he might go on a rampage if he doesn’t eat, so there won’t be any danger toward you, but not after he’s just eaten, which makes him less sensitive

A 7/10 on the sensitivity scale, he has quite a few tickle spots and genuinely loves laughing and smiling, especially if it’s with you or Belphie

His tummy and navel are very sensitive, and so are his thighs and the backs of his knees

Knows he could easily hurt you if he struggles too much, so he tries his best not to, holding onto something like pillows or blankets to keep himself from shoving you away, and always tossing his head back and forth to hide his blush and his smile

If you trace a finger down his abs to his belly button and wiggle your finger inside, he’ll wheeze and usually grab a pillow to bring up to cover his face— you’ll know when he wants you to stop, he’ll tap out by weakly smacking your leg with his hand

If you turn the teasing back on him, he becomes more responsive to the tickling, trying to curl in on himself and laughing harder than if you were to just tickle him— the harder he blushes, the more he can’t take the teasing

His laugh is very deep and rumbly like thunder, seeming to shake the whole house the harder it gets— he hates his laughter, but he knows how much you and Belphie like hearing it, so he doesn’t mind that much

He’ll always hide his face if you attempt to take a picture of him while he’s blushy and giggly, but if you manage to get one he’ll just ask you not to share it

He’ll sit up and rest his chin on your shoulder, then ask if you can go get him a snack— tickling tires him out— then he’ll wrap his arms around you and munch on whatever you brought him, content to calm down in your presence

Belphegor

Lee, Ler, or Switch?: Like Beel, equal switch— he doesn’t mind being tickled, and he enjoys doing the tickling just as much.

As a ler:

Usually feigns sleep to get people to drop their guard, then pounces on them when they least expect him to— he’s the Avatar of Sloth, he’s the best at acting like he’s asleep

Like his brother, he sees your laughter as his third thing that makes him happy, with the first two being Beel and naps, and so he always wants to hear your laugh every chance he gets— it also makes him sleepy because he says your laugh is soothing

He found out after he invited you to nap with him one day— you were trying to get comfortable and shifted a little too much, and Belphie prodded his finger into your side and told you to stay still, making you squeak... thankfully he was too tired to act then, but it was already too late

Almost like a cat, he likes to hide behind furniture, under blankets and beds, or even above doorways, and pounce when it’s least expected— and if he’s well-rested, he’ll chase you down if you run from him

Loves building anticipation and being slow and gentle with his tickles, only to dig in unexpectedly— he also likes to nuzzle a lot, mostly because he knows his hair tickles and being that close would make /anyone/ blush

Sings little lullabies and replaces words with “tickle” in order to tease you, but also points out your sensitivity and how much you’re blushing, and asks how tired you are

"Your face is so red right now. It’s so cute.” “Are you getting tired yet? I don’t think you are, you’re still laughing a lot.” “C’mon, this can’t tickle /that/ bad.” “You’re making me sleepy, laughing this much.” “If you’re not sleepy yet, then I don’t know what to tell you. Guess I’ll just have to keep going until you’re out cold.”

His tail in his demon form is a very useful tickle tool, he can swish it anywhere he wants and drive you up the wall with how soft the hair on the tip is

He’ll curl up next to you and pull you close to him, nestling your head under his chin and letting his breathing calm you down— and he’ll probably go to sleep, he can tire himself out no problem

As a lee:

Waking him up from a dead sleep is the best way to catch him off-guard, and ensures he won’t be able to get revenge as quickly as if he were already awake

Only slightly above his twin on the sensitivity scale, he’s an 8/10 as he’s a little more ticklish than Beel— but if you were to ask him, he’d say Beel is more ticklish

Shares his brother’s death spots, aka his tummy and belly button, but his hips, knees, and toes are other bad spots

Is very squirmy, considering he’s the smallest he knows he can’t hurt you if he squirms a little— but if you keep his favorite pillow near him, he’ll smack you with it if the tickles are too much to handle

Even looking at his tummy wrong makes him giggle, and the best tactic is to tickle his tummy and belly button at the same time, rapidly vibrating your fingers— he’ll lose it and screech with laughter, and flail helplessly

He hates being teased, and will attempt to swat at you every time you do it, despite being weak when he’s tickled and not being able to fight back like he normally would

His laugh is the sweetest of all of his brothers, light, gentle, and delicate, and his giggles are adorable— he hates when people tell him his laugh is cute, though, so that’s another way to fluster him

He’ll smack you with his pillow and run away before you ever catch him smiling on-camera— he hates getting pictures taken, they make him feel shy and he doesn’t want anyone to see him so vulnerable

Like when he tickles you, he’ll curl up next to you and yawn, and tell you he’s sleepy, then fall asleep soon after— and he’ll definitely cuddle you, mostly to be sure you can’t get away when he wakes up and wants revenge

[dekuimagines]

Hi, I love your blog! I was wondering if you can write a breakup head canon with iida, todoroki, and hawks. I barely see anything related to breakups in the bnha fandom, so I thought I'd ask for it. Thank you in advance!

// So i know I haven’t been super active on here lately but this request just really caught my eye okay

tenya iida

It had been nagging at you for a while, you just didn’t feel the same for the sweet navy haired male anymore, you weren’t sure why you had fallen out of love but the spark that was there just wasn’t anymore. 

It wasn’t that Iida wasn’t a good guy, he was but maybe he was just too good for you at this moment in time. This was a question that had been nagging you for quite some time and he noticed the shift.

“ Y/N/N “( your nickname) he had called out to you while you were sidetracked once again lost in your thoughts while packing up for the day.

“ Yes Tenya?” you asked breaking from your thoughts as you gave him a quick glance and then looked away. 

Another sign in his mind that something was wrong. “ I think we need to talk” he said in a plain manner. 

Your heart raced , what did he mean talk? Slowly nodding your head in response you finish packing up and go to his side where he leads you away from the school. 

“ So. “ you started your voice low and slow as you waited for the male to start. 

“ There is something you want to tell me isn’t there,” he said finally breaking the silence as you looked at him slightly surprised. You forgot how smart he was sometimes and that even if he seemed oblivious he noticed things, especially things about you. 

“ I ...yes there is. “ you finally said as you looked over at your loving boyfriend, you wished your heart raced like it used to but all you felt was this sickening guilt as the phrase left your lips. 

“ I think we need to break-up” you said looking away hands gripping your backpack straps tightly. 

Tenya, someone who always had something to say, some kind of input was for once in his life, silent. There was a hurt look on his face which he quickly hid it. “ I see, well. I respect your decision but could you possibly tell me what I’ve done wrong?” he asked keeping his voice steady.

As much as he tried to hide it though you saw straight through it the gaping hole in your chest growing wider and becoming cavernous. “ You did nothing wrong, “ you said not able to hide the waver like your counterpart. “ But I simply don’t feel the same way anymore and you deserve someone better. “ the last part you said barely above a whisper. “ I want you to be with someone who has the same amount of passion towards you as you have towards them and I’m afraid I’m just not that person” you finished. 

It felt like his heart was breaking in two as he nodded his head. “ I understand. “ he said “ Have a good day....... (y/n/n) i mean ( y/l/n) “ and with that, he left.  

It took some time, but slowly things turned back to normal, it turned out to be for the best and you and Iida are still very close friends but there might always be this tug in both of your hearts that you ignore till possibly a later time * wink wink *

Shoto Todoroki

It started out as small things, Shoto would take longer to text you then usual and his eyes seemed to wander when you were speaking to him as if he wasn’t really listening. 

Then the excuses, it was a tradition to go on a small date or just hang out with each other for a couple of hours every Tuesday, to catch up since you were both busy with trying to be heroes. You respected that and he respected that you were also busy but he started to skip out on those too. 

What you didn’t expect though was for him to pull you aside after class and saying those fateful words. 

“ I think we should stop seeing each other” his voice was cold and Stonic, it held no emotion as you looked at him with wide eyes. 

Of course, you should have expected it, all the signs were there, staring at you mocking you yet you had foolishly ignored them. 

“ Did you hear me ( Y/L/N) “ he asked snapping you from your melancholy thoughts. 

“ Yes, I heard you, “ you said in a small voice. You couldn’t even look at him. 

 “ Good so you agree,” he said, how could he have no emotion, it was like he was going through the steps almost as if someone had coached him on how to do it rather then his own thoughts. 

“ Agree? Why would I agree? “ you finally spatted out and looked up to see that cool composure of his start to split for a second. 

“ I thought you would because it’s clear that we don’t work,” he said as he shook his head. 

“ That’s because you stopped trying!” you raised your voice causing some eyes to fall on you but you ignored them. “ I put in so much effort but I can’t put in 90% all the time sometimes you have to care too, god, I love you Shoto,” you said tears pouring out of your eyes.

“ But perhaps we have different forms of love “ you finally said as the other nodded his head keeping his face clear of emotion. 

“ Yes I suppose that might be” he said in a steady voice as you gritted your teeth. 

“ I suppose, god how can you be so emotionless at a time like this, yes alright let’s stop seeing each other, don’t talk to me ever again you hear me Todoroki” you shouted at him as you pushed him away before leaving. 

As you left he finally broke a stray tear falling down his cheek as he shook his head looking down at the text message from an unknown number. 

“ I broke up with them are you happy now, “ 

“ Very, remember this is for their safety” 

( sorry i like adding spice and i also was reading a comic earlier that just gave me the idea)

Kiego Takami ( Hawks)

Was dating a pro hero hard? Of course, it was, but Kiego always made it worth it, he was charming funny and had no problem keeping you a secret from the public. 

Though it seemed to keep you a secret from the villains was a little bit harder as they were just a little too intelligent and he had to make a choice, your happiness or your safety. 

The answer was clear in his mind as he called you to his apartment to do the one deed that he was already regretting. 

You were excited to see your boyfriend of a year and a half now since he had been so busy lately that you were so fast to get to his apartment upon his call with a tub of fried chicken in tow. 

Ringing the doorbell you rocked back and forth waitng to see that warm smiling face that you had come to love, though that wasn’t what you were greeted with. 

Keigo couldn’t hide the sober look on his face as the door opened it felt like his heart was shattering as he saw that bright smile on your face falter, oh god you even brought his favorite chicken. He really didn’t deserve you. 

“ What’s wrong Kiego?” you asked softly cocking your head to the side while he sighed softly. 

“ (Y/N) we need to talk,” he said as he opened the door wider to let you in. He was always under surveillance so this was risky what he was about to do. 

“ Sure of course” you said though hesitant you walked into the apartment. 

“ We can’t be together anymore, I just I don’t love you and I’ve been playing you this entire time I can’t believe you haven't seen that,” he said as your heart shattered into pieces. 

“ Kiego, “ you started you wanted him to put that goofy smile on his face, tell you that he was just kidding, this was a joke right? It had to be. 

“ I think it’s better if we stop seeing each other, you were just a burden anyway” his voice was cold as he hides all emotion from his face. 

“ You’re joking this is some kind of joke right?” you ask now desperate. 

“ No joke baby, “ he said clicking his tongue in annoyance. 

“ Kiego..... please” you tried to reason as he rolled his eyes causing your heart to break even more. 

Taking a step closer he parted his lips to whisper in your ear. “ I really am sorry but I need you to leave this apartment crying, this will explain everything” slipping a note into your jacket pocket he takes a step back and snatched the bucket. 

Tears welled up in your eyes but at this point, you weren’t sure if they were happy or sad tears as you nodded your head. “ Goodbye Kiego” you finally say as you leave the apartment tears kept pouring down your face as you walked back to your own apartment. 

Reaching into your coat you fumbled to pull out the note. 

I still love you, but it’s not safe right now, I promise that once things are taken care of I will come back for you. 

Holding the note tightly, “ Please be careful “ you mumbled as you get to sleep. 

[thehighestmountains]

evermore review and ranking:

overall, i found this album to have more skippable songs than folklore and the middle of my ranking definitely feels like the middle whereas in my folklore ranking, #14 was still a fav. folklore was a true anomaly where i was just adding the whole album to my playlist. evermore really feels like folklore’s little sister getting the hand-me-downs, who just doesnt know who she is or what shes doing with her life, what is the theme exactly. 

tis the damn season. i fell in love in the first five seconds. i love the moody mature guitar strums and drum beats amping up the entire song. the story of coming back to an old love in your hometown reminds me of the show ‘the normal people’. im a real sucker for sagas, timeless loves that pull you in time and time again, familiar feelings that just feel right because you experienced them at such a young age.  this song gets me.

There's an ache in you, put there by the ache in me But if it's all the same to you It's the same to me

So we could call it even You could call me "babe" for the weekend ​'Tis the damn season, write this down

Sleep in half the day just for old times' sake I won't ask you to wait if you don't ask me to stay So I'll go back to L.A. and the so-called friends

long story short. this is such a banger r u joking. i feel every single one of my blood cells pumping as soon as this song starts. i even love the post-chorus, a great break from the chorus and the verses. i could post the whole song as my favorite lines.

And you passed right by I was in the alley, surrounded on all sides The knife cuts both ways If the shoe fits, walk in it 'til your high heels breakAnd I fell from the pedestal Right down the rabbit hole Long story short, it was a bad time When I dropped my sword I threw it in the bushes and knocked on your door And we live in peace But if someone comes at us, this time, I'm ready

ivy. hard not to compare this to illicit affairs, but this is like an upbeat version. if i didnt even pay attention to the lyrics, i would think this is so fun and catchy, it sounds good. there is no anger, there is a joy. and i just like it.

Oh, goddamn My pain fits in the palm of your freezing hand Taking mine, but it's been promised to another Oh, I can't Stop you putting roots in my dreamland My house of stone, your ivy grows And now I'm covered in you So yeah, it's a fire It's a goddamn blaze in the dark And you started it

willow. im really glad this was the leading single because this is a beautiful stringy piece with a great melody. when i was reading the lyrics before listening to the song, it sounded extremely cheesy with “thats my man”, “i come back stronger than a 90s trend”, but in the song, i love it. theres a lot of heart and oompf to this.

And if it was an open-shut case I never would've known from that look on your face Lost in your current like a priceless wine

The more that you say, the less I know Wherever you stray, I follow

coney island. i wonder why she picked coney island, a very summery location with the bright lines and merry go, when the whole album is supposed to be a winterscape. i barely understand what this song is about but i enjoy the sounds.

Did I close my fist around something delicate? Did I shatter you?

evermore. i love when justin vernon starts singing with that beautiful falsetto “cant not think of all the cost and the things that will be lost”.

Or the violence of the dog days I'm on waves, out being tossed

champagne problems. before i get into this, i like this song, im impressed with the bridge and the chorus, i enjoy the story. just a small thing: title phrase. i just dont vibe with it, the rest of the lyrics couldve been more connected with champagne, i dont believe champagne to be any alcoholic’s choice of drink. and one more nitpick, who likes that random piano mash at the end, anyone?

Your mom's ring in your pocket My picture in your wallet Your heart was glass, I dropped it

One for the money, two for the show I never was ready so I watch you go Sometimes you just don't know the answer 'Til someone's on their knees and asks you

tolerate it - this is a good mellow song, i can relate to the deep sadness of feeling ignored, every thing you do is just dropped. i feel this could grow on me, especially because at the end we really get that jolt of energy, i can leave, i can do it.

I wait by the door like I'm just a kid Use my best colors for your portrait

gold rush. this song is a little too sweet for me, specifically “i dont need a gold rush gold rush”. its just an upbeat and repetitive pop song. i also find this specific high school energy of really wanting someone but also despising their appeal to just not relate to the headspace im currently in.

no body no crime. whoooa that blast of country. it kind of feels weird in this album. i think the chorus is incredibly boring, “i think he did it but i just cant prove it” over and over.

No, no body, no crime But I ain't lettin' up until the day I die

closure. i cant get over the constant banging of industrial pots and pans throughout this whole song lol. i really went back and forth between do i like this, no i hate it, ok i could get used to it, no no it doesnt fit with the lyrics and how shes singing. i also dont care for “yes i got your letter, yes im doing better”.

we have a large pile of songs at the bottom, they all mush together in a sad corner. these could maybe grow on me but i also would be fine never listening to them again. with folklore’s sad songs, like epiphany or my tears ricochet, there was still something that appealed to me. most of these, there just isnt anything.

happiness - similar to tolerate it, i think the lyrics carry and convey a specific feeling very well, i have definitely felt this way, but i dont feel like the instrumentals match her emotional singing. i think she really carries this song and the instruments just let me down.

No one teaches you what to do  When a good man hurts you And you know you hurt him too

marjorie - i feel like a song about her grandmother could have been so great instead we get “what died didnt stay dead” over and over and a bridge that is mostly about herself. “shouldve kept every grocery store receipt cause every scrap of you would be taken from me” is the worst of the lines, thats what you want to keep? grocery receipts? the song should be about her grandmother leaving all her “backlogged dreams” to her, and im not getting much of that.

cowboy like me - takes one... to... know... one...... this song does not embody  the type of cowboy shes talking about, perhaps a 80 year old woman singing about her tendencies to run away. im not convinced taylor is singing from a place she understands enough about. my least favorite line in the album goes to “the tennis court was covered up with some tent-like thing”. tent like thing? lol ok. although i will say one of my favorite lines is “forever is the sweetest con”, but that gem cannot save this song.

dorothea - this is the worst version of seven from folklore. its about ten times less interesting, very bare bones, hardly any story or background information. i dont particularly like the name dorothea. giving me major grandma vibes, these last three songs are major grandma vibes. 

[kathleen-meyer-lyme-survivor]

DISCLAIMER:  I have signed a waiver and become a contributor to an upcoming book by a fellow, healed Lyme patient. Some or all of this story may be published in the coming months. I have added and updated some of this information 9.12.2020, so hopefully I will not violate any copyright laws. 

 

NOTE:  Do not assume everything I write here or on my Facebook Lyme page will help. Everyone heals differently. Working with a knowledgeable, sincere doctor and finding the right combination of medication, herbs, personal lifestyle and diet changes will help. One size doesn’t fit all for Lyme disease treatments. Don’t be afraid to research and consult with your doctor. Get a notebook and write down EVERYTHING; diet, exercise, symptoms, dates, times, and ANY physical or emotional stress-causing events. Stress seems to be the biggest culprit of all diseases. Hypocrites stated, “All disease begins in the gut”. HE WAS RIGHT!! 

 

NAME:  Kathleen Meyer 

I live in Northern VA. I am a retired, 60+ year old Grandmother. I am widowed, and I was living alone when Lyme hit. Symptoms began between September 12-14, 2012. 

 

BACKSTORY:  September 12, 2012. I felt something prick my lower back. When I reached around to check, the area was very hot to touch. This was in my car in Reston, Virginia, on a 90+ degree day. I had left the car windows open slightly during the work day. 

The previous two weeks, I had been on vacation to the Pacific Northwest, to visit my Sister. While there, I visited a national park, which is highly populated by deer and other furry animals; large and small. There was hiking and a few photo ops while sitting on a rock wall. Deer roam around freely in the town where my Sister lives. 

After going to my family doctor almost daily between 9/14-10/12 to complain of strange symptoms, I was finally tested for Lyme, West Nile virus and Rocky Mountain Spotted fever. My doctor was skeptical at first, but I kept insisting the symptoms weren’t normal for any flu I had ever had. When I mentioned living by woods and recently spending time in a national park, I was taken more seriously.  

 

I was diagnosed with Lyme on October 12,2012, (clinically by relating symptoms) and blood work. Side note: Because I had Mono at age 18, I was also diagnosed with Mono “exposed”. I was instructed to go home, stay on bedrest and get clearance from an infectious disease doctor, before returning to work. I was on sick leave and coworker’s leave donations between 10/15-11/13/2012. I was also instructed NOT to work or look at work email while out sick; which I now understand completely. The philosophy seems to be, “Being out on sick leave means you’re too sick to be at work, so don’t try to do any work at home”. Never mind that after two weeks of bedrest, going stir crazy and wanting to do something, is very normal. 

 

TREATMENTS:  I was immediately placed on Doxycycline 200 mg, by the family doctor, for 20 days. That didn’t work. Then Doxycycline 200 mg for 10 days. When that didn’t work, there was 30 days additional. When I ran out, I waited between prescriptions about a week or two, to see if symptoms would come back. Symptoms kept coming back. I was on/off Doxycycline for a total of 60 days. My insurance company wouldn’t authorize more than 60 days, so I was given Cefuroxime 500 mg for 30 days. 

 

NOTE:  At the beginning of the Cefuroxime prescription I doubled the dose for the first 4 days, just to see what would happen. I realize that wasn’t a very smart thing to do, but I wanted to kill what was making me so sick. After the 4 days, I used the prescription correctly. At the end of the 30 days, no symptoms returned.  

 

NOTE:  I always eat yogurt in between any oral antibiotic dose. The reason is because all antibiotics kill all bacteria, including the beneficial bacteria we need in our gut, where the main part of the immune system is located. The other part of the immune system is our brain. The brain and gut communicate with each other UNLESS we have an illness like Lyme. The brain is affected and doesn't communicate correctly with the gut during Lyme, and probably during other autoimmune illnesses. 

 

MYSTERIOUS SYMPTOMS BEFORE TREATMENT:  High blood pressure, cardiomegaly, chronic bronchitis, prolapsed mitre heart valve, GERD, Barretts esophagus, large hiatal hernia. Other symptoms; short term memory issues, difficulty with vision, floaters, reading, sensitive to bright light and sunshine. Difficulty walking, bumping into walls, problems with grip and dropping things. Insomnia, sometimes several nights in a row. Constant buzzing, tingling, pain throughout my entire body. Chest pain, head and neck pain, difficulty with bowels, difficulty swallowing and anxiety from feeling so ill for no known reason, except Lyme. I was able to swallow correctly again, after an endoscopy and scraping of webbed growth (non-cancerous). 

 

WHAT THE WORLD NEEDS TO KNOW:  ALL doctors, nurses including E.R. personnel need to be made aware of how many hundreds of symptoms Lyme can have. It is known to mimic at least 400 other illnesses and syndromes. Millions of people worldwide are being mis-diagnosed or given catch-all diagnosis out of frustration. Doctors have about 15 minutes per patient and don’t have time to research and address everyone’s symptoms. More research is needed and the patient’s symptoms need to be taken more seriously. The phrase “The customer is always right”, needs to apply to patients as well. Haphazard treatment of symptoms and covering up symptoms DOESN’T WORK FOR LYME!! 

 

NOTE:  Most medical schools are funded by big pharma. They do not provide enough education to upcoming doctors about Lyme and similar illnesses. They don’t stress enough on nutrition or healthy eating as a benefit to patients. I have asked my doctors and chiropractor about this, and they said the same thing. 

Do NOT listen to any doctor who tells you your child has “Growing Pains”. Find a doctor who is knowledgeable about Lyme, preferably a young doctor with a growing family of his/her own. My family doctor diagnosed and treated me correctly, was THAT doctor, not a specialist, a general practitioner. 

 

HOW HAS LYME CHANGED MY LIFE; GOOD AND BAD:   Lyme caused me to be bedridden for over 3 weeks, afraid to drive for fear of getting lost, and feeling like I had early onset Alzheimer’s. I now feel that it was an eye-opening experience, which awakened me to how poorly I had been managing my diet and exercise on a daily basis. I also believe the 2012 influenza shot might have been flawed, because I never felt healthy after that, and it possibly weakened my immune system so Lyme and Mono could sneak in.  

I went from quick and easy meals and very little exercise to self-improvement. I learned from the Lyme pages on Facebook from reading other people’s stories. It was almost like putting a really large jigsaw puzzle together, very slowly and not having all the pieces in front of me. 

 

SOMETHING I DO NOW THAT I NEVER DID BEFORE LYME:  I now pay closer attention to my physical and emotional health, what foods I eat and the amount of daily exercise I get. I also developed pre-diabetes type 2 during the Lyme period. I am now eating real food and watching my weight in order to keep the pre-diabetes under control, without medication.  

 

NOTE:  Doctor’s won’t tell you unless you press them, that medication for everything is NOT the best way to control anything, because you’re stuck on the medication for the rest of your life. Our bodies are capable of healing, with help by US.  

 

THE MOST FRUSTRATING PART OF LYME DISEASE:  I would have to say, lack of compassion for what patients are going through on the part of medical professionals, insurance companies, news media, and the general public. “Take these pills and you’ll feel better”. This doesn’t work with Lyme disease; trust me. However, I know many people who believe everything their doctor says and I hear, “My doctor says it’s__________. More research is needed and the actual CAUSE should be researched and treated instead of pills to cover up underlying symptoms. 

 

MY BIGGEST SUPPORTER(S):  I have a private Facebook page called “Where is Lyme Disease”, which has 249 members. I consider all of them to be my supporters; we support each other. I have been posting there since March, 2015, before any of us realized Lyme is EVERYWHERE!! I HAVE POSTED HOW I TREATED, HEALED AND WHAT I AM DOING NOW TO STAY HEALTHY. Those answers were not readily found using an internet search in 2012. Everything I post on the page is from what I went through. I am trying to help others with Lyme get through it and not give up. 

I give all credit to healing to authors of books about Lyme struggles. There are too many to mention, but “Cure Unknown” by Pamela Weintraub was the best one. I read it several times, because the first time I tried to read, the words ran together and blurred because of Lyme. I am now able to read again, and have re-read several books I couldn’t comprehend before. If there’s a diagnosis of ADD or ADHD, suspect Lyme!!  

 

BIGGEST DAILY STRUGGLE:  Praying it never comes back and thanking God for every day which I am granted. Experimenting with different diet plans and keeping healthy. Getting away from white sugar, white flour and other overly processed, easy to fix foods and getting real food into my body is a daily challenge. 

Continuing to learn about and helping others deal with Lyme. I have helped quite a few people NOT give up. I wish I could help everyone or was a millionaire so I could donate money for a cure.  

[overstimulatethis]

Schlaflose Vögel: Chapter 1 [Pharmercy fanfic]

Fandom: Overwatch

Pairing: Pharmercy

Rating: M

Summary: Angela doesn't need to sleep very much. Fareeha, on the other hand, isn't getting nearly enough. Caught between her duty as a doctor and her feelings for the Egyptian captain, Angela has to navigate her new role within Overwatch and her loneliness, while Fareeha struggles with a secret (or two) that could cause a lot of grief to the people she cares about.

Chapter: 1/2 (Next)

~

Angela rarely slept. It wasn’t a worrisome thing; her body simply required less sleep because of the nanites she’d developed. Combined with the fact that she desperately needed the extra time to complete her work during the day, she actually had a slight distaste for sleeping. Because of this, though, Angela often found herself with a lot of quiet time around the Watchpoint.  

For instance, it was almost 0500, and Angela was already showered, caffeinated, and working through the day’s research. She’d been sitting in complete silence in the med bay for over half an hour, and was expecting it to continue for at least another two hours. If she were being honest with herself (and she usually wasn’t, with these things), it got lonely sometimes. But, again, she didn’t usually entertain those thoughts.

Angela was truly surprised when Athena announced Captain Fareeha Amari was entering, not even at 0530. She tried to ignore the strange blip in her chest. It occurred every time the captain showed up, and it was becoming a nuisance. Before the recall, the last time Angela had seen Fareeha Amari had been when she wasn’t even 21, the young Egyptian a mere 16. When Jack had first informed her a year ago that Fareeha would be joining the unofficially-reformed Overwatch’s ranks, Angela had not expected… well, Fareeha.

She should have known better, looking back; she remembered the Amari daughter as a rambunctious girl, anxious to follow Ana’s and Overwatch’s footsteps and protect the world. However, there couldn’t have been any way for Angela to not be surprised by the tall, built, frankly-gorgeous woman she had grown into.

And here she was, surprised yet again, though not for a very good reason. When Fareeha walked through the med bay doors, Angela was taken aback by the captain’s appearance. Her normally-radiant skin was now dulled. There were unmistakable bags hanging dark under her eyes. If she was being excruciatingly honest, Angela also got the sense that Fareeha hadn’t showered in at least a few days.

As her training helped her to cover up the strange emotions Fareeha brought out in her, so it did with keeping her reaction to herself. Instead of frowning in concern, she smiled brightly at Fareeha and waved for her to sit on the examining table.

“Well, good morning, Captain,” she greeted, smile kept in place as she adopted a teasing tone. “You’re here a bit early for your appointment, aren’t you?” By about three hours, if Angela remembered correctly.

Fareeha’s brow furrowed before a stream of words came out in a rushed breath. “My apologies, Doctor—I didn’t mean to be an inconvenience—I didn’t even think—I was awake already, so I thought—I’ll come back later.” She stood very suddenly and stiffly, in the perfect soldier’s form, excepting the way she avoided Angela’s eyes.

It was admittedly strange to see the captain so… out of it, for lack of a better phrase. She was definitely sleep-deprived, if the dazed look in her eyes meant anything. It was concerning, to say the least—not only as Fareeha’s doctor, but as… a friend?

(When Angela had first joined Overwatch, she had made sure to keep everything professional. She was barely an adult, yet had been treated as one for years already. She was Overwatch’s primary care physician first, and she couldn’t let feelings get in the way. Now, though… if Overwatch was to be different this time around, maybe Angela could change along with it?)

Angela quickly stepped forward to keep the taller woman from leaving the med bay. She softened her smile. “You can call me Angela, and you’re no inconvenience, Captain. You were my first appointment of the day, in any case.” She tried to brush past the failed ice-breaker. “Please, sit, and we’ll get you taken care of. We’re just here for a routine checkup, is that correct?”

It took Fareeha a moment before she moved to sit again, slowly nodding as she did so. She still wouldn’t quite meet Angela’s gaze. It seemed to the doctor that even the tattoo (that familiar, yet distinct tattoo) under Fareeha’s eye was faded with exhaustion. Once she was settled, Angela set to work.

“How have you been feeling lately, Captain? Any complaints?” she asked smoothly as she powered up the bio-scanner. As she input the necessary information to take Fareeha’s vitals accurately, she waited for an answer, but none came. Angela looked back over to see the captain with a faraway look in her drooping eyes. “Captain?”

Fareeha shook her head, as if to clear it, and her eyes focused back on the doctor. “Fareeha,” she said.

Angela couldn’t help the raised eyebrow she gave in reply. Nonetheless, she instructed the bio-scanner to proceed as she said, “I’m sorry?”

Fareeha shook her head again, her eyebrows furrowing the same way they had earlier. “No, I’m sorry. You can call me Fareeha, and, um….” She ran a hand back through her unwashed hair—a nervous habit Angela had only witnessed a few times in the past year. “I haven’t been able to get to sleep very easily, lately.” She quickly dropped her hand, remembering that she wasn’t supposed to move while the bio-scanner looked her over.

Angela made a small, neutral hum as she waited for the machine to process the data scan, trying not to give away the fact that she’d suspected correctly. “How long has this been happening?” she asked after quickly analyzing the results. The captain’s blood pressure was a bit on the high side, for her healthiness. There were other signs that also indicated that Fareeha hadn’t slept in... at least two weeks? That couldn’t be right.

“About a month, now,” Fareeha hesitantly replied. By the way her eyes widened afterwards, Angela assumed that she hadn’t quite succeeded in keeping the shock from her face, this time.

Angela leaned against her desk, giving the other woman her full attention. She fought to make her face more neutral before speaking. “What happens when you can’t sleep?”

Fareeha looked away again, passing her hand through her hair once more. “I get… tense. I can’t get comfortable, no matter what I try, and my mind is just….” She squeezed her eyes shut and let out a frustrated breath. “It’s constantly racing. By the time I’m exhausted enough to fall asleep, it is morning.”

Angela’s chest ached. She held her breath as she watched her own hand reach out—almost of its own volition—and land on Fareeha’s wrist. “What’s going through your mind that keeps you up? Is there anything you’d like to talk about, Fareeha?” Sensing the captain’s hesitation, she continued quickly. “I’m not just saying this as your doctor or therapist. I can just be a… friend.” There was that word again.

Fareeha was studying her with such an intense look that Angela almost had to look away. She forced herself to stay still, though, for some reason determined to show the captain that she was there for her. After a very long moment, Fareeha broke the gaze.

“Thank you, Angela. I appreciate it. But it is nothing in particular—just racing thoughts about anything and everything.”

She was lying, Angela was positive. She didn’t really know how to proceed, though. It was a clear rejection of her offer—should she push, as her doctor? Or respect her privacy, as her friend? And this was with ignoring those other feelings….

“Fareeha, I don’t want to push, but I can’t truly help you if I don’t have the full picture,” is what is ended up saying. She figured it was a compromise between both of her stances.

The sound that escaped Fareeha next nearly broke her heart. Caught between a sardonic laugh and a sob, she said, “God, Angela, I can’t even begin to explain how much I wish I could tell you.” As she curled her fingers in her hair, tears started escaping. Before Angela realized what she was doing, she lifted her other hand to wipe tears away from the udjat with her thumb.

It wasn’t until she met Fareeha’s wide-eyed gaze that she snapped her hand away. Taking a step back as smoothly as she could, she cleared her throat. “If you ever change your mind, the offer is always open.” As soon as the words left her mouth, she cringed—combined her with her embarrassment over the too-soft touches, it sounded like too much of a proposition to her. “If you ever need an ear, or a shoulder, or a licensed physician and psychologist,” she recovered lightly with a smile, “don’t hesitate.”

Fareeha swallowed, cleared her throat, and then smiled in return. “Thank you, Angela. I appreciate it.”

Angela allowed herself to bask in the glow of the captain’s smile for only a moment before forcing herself back into doctor mode. “For now, I can give you some nonaddictive sleeping supplements to take; they’re mostly melatonin, but the nanites have improved its effectiveness. In about 90 percent of cases, patients see results the first night. Is that something you would like to try?”

When Fareeha nodded, Angela turned to a cabinet by her desk. She entered the passcode and prescription information on the screen next to the cabinet door, and a labeled bottle popped out with two weeks’ worth of supplements. She walked back over to Fareeha and handed her the bottle. “Take two tonight, right when you get into bed, and come see me in the morning so we can discuss its results.”

Fareeha nodded, glancing over the label. “Yes, ma’am,” she replied. Angela was happy to see a small smile still remaining on the captain’s face.

“Might I also suggest you take the night for yourself? There is a spa next to the gym that is impeccably clean and yet hardly used, if ever. Why don’t you take a trip to the hot tub for about fifteen minutes and try to relax before bed?” Angela started to file away the results of Fareeha’s scan as she talked, since nothing else had been cause for alarm.

Fareeha laughed. “I have no time for relaxation, Angela. I don’t believe anyone on base does.”

Angela shook her head. “Everyone on this base could do with a bit of downtime. It’s not good for their health to be working nonstop.”

“Everyone, including you?”

Angela looked up to see Fareeha with a smirk and an eyebrow raised in her direction. She breathed out a chuckle. “I am the only exception, actually. My body literally does not need as much sleep or relaxation as the rest of the team.”

Fareeha’s eyebrows dropped to create a crease between them. “It does not mean you shouldn’t take a break simply because you don’t need to. How about this…” She stood up from the examination table and pocketed the medicine. Angela gulped as the captain was suddenly closer once more, now hovering five inches over her. “I will visit the hot tub tonight, if you join me.”

Angela knew her face was on fire immediately, but she could not move her eyes from Fareeha’s. The captain’s smile widened into that open grin that always took Angela’s breath away, even if she didn’t want to admit it. Verdammt noch mal, even with stringy hair and tired eyes, Fareeha Amari was stunning.

What was happening, though? Was Fareeha flirting with her? Or was this her accepting the friendship she’d offered, albeit in a different way than Angela had been expecting?

“Okay.” Scheisse. Her body was seemingly not her own around Fareeha. But she couldn’t regret it, since that smile shone even brighter in response.

“Let’s say we meet there at 2300?”

It was still a bit later than the doctor in her wanted for Fareeha, but she could use the extra time to finish some work, anyway. She agreed, and then Fareeha was leaving the med bay.

She didn’t realize that she’d frozen stock-still until Athena spoke to her. “Doctor Ziegler, you have not moved in ten consecutive minutes. Do you require assistance?”

Angela shook herself out of her daze. “No, Athena, I’m quite fine. Thank you, though.”

She returned to her seat at her desk, picking up Fareeha’s file and staring at her name. What had she gotten herself into?

(Next)

[heroicadventurists]

Batgirls: The Legacy and Discord among fans

My journey into comics started in the 90s, thanks in large part to the X-Men cartoon. I loved everything about The X-Men; their powers, their fight for equality and their strong female characters. I started reading X-Men comics religiously until I graduated from college and started working at a bank.

Fast forward 9 years, and I go to my first comic book convention and I'm sucked in again. This time around, I'm interested in the Batfamily. I start buying bat related comics and my favorite character changes from Gambit to Red Hood. I actually love all of the Robins; and of course the only Batgirl I have ever known, Barbara Gordon, from the 90s cartoon.

I joined Tumblr to engage with the fandom and to my surprise, there is discord among Batgirl fans (specifically Babs, Cass and Steph). Some fans refuse to call the current Batgirl, Barbara Gordon, her vigilante name; and instead refer to her as Babsgirl?!?! Some Cass fans think Stephanie didn't deserve the mantle; and Stephanie fans don't think she gets the respect she deserves. I'm blown away, and slightly entertained by all of this. The rivalry is real among the Batgirls, moreso than what I've seen with the Robins. Let's talk about it.

Transitions of Power

When I think of Batgirls, I think of Robins. They are both equally important to the Batman mythos. At some point, for whatever reason, a Robin or Batgirl has transitioned out of the role. The transitions between the two groups have been slightly different.

Robins do not give up their mantle readily. They become jealous, angry and downright scary when they are "replaced".

Dick wrestling Robin Jason after a mission; Tim defeating Robin Damian in a fight; Damian defeating Robin Duke and the entire We are Robin crew; Jason defeating Robin Tim.

Now let's compare the Batgirl transitions.

In both Batgirl situations, the predecessor supports the transition of power (even if begrudgingly). There is no violence. The Batgirls handle the situation with more dignity and respect than the Robins. In the Robin's defense, their mantles were either forcibly taken from them or they were not aware they were replaced. The bitterness with The Robins is real.

You Deserve It 👏🏽..👏🏼.. 👏🏻👏🏾 ..👏🏿

I have been seeing several posts lately saying Stephanie didn't deserve the Batgirl mantle, and I wholeheartedly disagree. Again, let's compare the Batgirls to their male counterparts. Robin was created by Dick Grayson, however he outgrew the mantle and Batman's control. Missing Dick, Bruce made Jason his Robin after catching him trying to steal the tires off the Batmobile. That's all it took.

Tim truly put in the work to get the mantle of Robin, so it was probably a slap in the face when Dick took it from him and gave it to Damian. At this point in Damian's arc, he was insufferable. He was violent, arrogant and full of rage (not his fault). He did not deserve Robin; but to stop him from leaving Gotham, Dick handed it to him.

So we have 2 Robins who deserved it and 2 who did not, but by the end of their runs, all 4 made the mantle their own and are dynamic characters to this day.

Stephanie 100% deserved Batgirl. Before becoming Batgirl, Stephanie was already in the batfamily and operated as Spoiler. She even had a brief (and disastrous) stint as Robin. Stephanie was an ally to the bats, and "promoting" her to Batgirl was Bruce's way of saying he recognized her efforts and growth. This was a way to show Stephanie that she truly belonged in their ranks. It was well deserved.

The Batgirls love each other

Another difference between the Batgirls and Robins is their love for one another. These girls support each other, which cannot be said for the Robins. While the relationships with the Robins has vastly approved in New 52 and Rebirth, they still have their moments of discord. I say this because it's ironic that the Batgirl characters get along extremely well and have a sisterhood but the different fandoms have issues.

Babsgirl

When I first saw the phrase "Babsgirl", I didn't understand what it meant. It was only recently that I discovered it was a way to not acknowledge Barbara as the current Batgirl. What a slap in the face to her legacy and history. That's like calling Batman "Bruceman" because you preferred Dick's run better.

Barbara first appeared on the 1960s show Batman and eventually made her way into comics in 1967 (52 years). Barbara helped popularize Batgirl in mainstream media by appearing in animated movies, cartoons, live action shows and video games.

Barbara may not have been the first Batgirl to have a solo series but she laid the foundation for the modern day Batgirl (respect also to Bette Kane).

The Real Issue

The real issue isn't who carries the Batgirl mantle but what they are doing with Barbara, Cassandra and Stephanie. Again let's take it back to the Robins. All of the Robins have had their mantles removed but they continued to utilize Dick, Jason, Tim and Damian very strongly in comics and across media platforms.

Dick as Nightwing, Jason as Red Hood, Tim with Young Justice and Damian with the Teen Titans

All of the boys, except Damian right now, actually have personas that are better than Robin. The Robins have been allowed to headline their own comics, lead teams and interact with the larger DC Universe as a whole.

The only Batgirl who has been afforded this luxury is Barbara, which I attitribute to the strong foundation she has built in mainstream media. She has her own comic, she has created and led her own team, and she participates in DC crossover events as a main player.

I believe the divide between Batgirl fans is because the same is not afforded to Cassandra and Stephanie.

After Stephanie stopped being Batgirl, she became Spoiler once again (which is a great character) but she took a supporting role. As far as I know, she has not been on a team outside of a Bat related group. She just showed up in 2 episodes of Young Justice Outsiders that were cameos at best. I haven't seen any plans for her character at the moment, with Tim (her only storyline) being lost in the multiverse.

After Cassandra stopped being Batgirl, she took up the Black Bat mantle (awesome name) but due to legal reasons, DC couldn't continue using the name. Cass dissappeared for a while and returned as Orphan. This name is truly disrespectful because her adoption has been retconned, so it's a constant reminder, in my opinion, that she is not truly family. Things are looking up for Cassandra as she is on a new Bat sanctioned team and is getting a graphic novel. Her live action movie debut is also around the corner.

I think if Spoiler and Black Bat had been priority characters and participated in DC events, and joined teams outside of the batfamily, the discussion of who should be Batgirl wouldn't be a topic. Cass not getting a push isn't a Stephanie or Barbara issue and vice versa. Sometimes characters, no matter how great, don't get the pushes they deserve. There are tons of characters who fit this mold (Stargirl, Vixen, Booster Gold, Blue Beetle, Firestorm etc...). And this is not to minimize the situation. I can't imagine how it would feel to have your favorite character missued (Wally West, Roy Harper).

The Batgirl mantle has been held by 5 amazing women. The three in discussion have all brought something unique and special to the mantle. They have all deserved that mantle and represented it with dignity and respect. When I think of the Batgirls, I think of strong women who support one another. Role Models. Instead of creating dissension, fans of the Batgirls need to unite and push for better opportunities for both Stephanie and Cassandra outside of that mantle. Batgirl does not have to be the highlight of their career.

**I know this does not apply to all Batgirl fans

Much respect to the Batgirls