#I feel like talking in tags because I don't want to write another essay

[iamthepulta]

The best thing about Italy and Europe is that linen just- exists here. I can go buy a shitty cheap 100% linen dress like I would go to Fry's and buy a shitty cheap 100% polyester dress in America. Absolutely revolutionary for my wardrobe. I can't actually buy wardrobe enhancements because I have a carry-on suitcase, but the fact I still have the option is amazing.

[olderthannetfic]

Genuine question: what's the point of writing fanfic? As in, what's the purpose? No one in the fandom I'm in comments on fics and I even got told off by one person for doing so, as it "encourages bad writers and makes them think they're good". So it seems that it's a lot like book writing, where people work hard and are creative, but instead of getting paid and getting comments on the work, you just sit there silently hoping someone will press the kudos button and make a number go up. I feel like that time and work could be better spent on making something you might get some kind of profit off of. Don't get me wrong, I love doodling fanart, but I don't post it, as I'm aware that there's no point to doing so, and while it's a nice way to fill the time on a commute, it's not something that takes me as much time and effort as fanfic does. So... why do people bother? Sometimes I describe ideas I have and people I know in my fandom will tell me I should write it, but I don't see why. I get more interaction from just saying "imagine if [thing here]" than I would by sitting down, writing for hours, editing and posting [thing here], so what would the point be? I'm not punching down or going "haha women and their fanfic lol!", I genuinely do not get what the point is and this blog feels like it might have someone reading who knows the answer.

--

Do you make art for profit? Genuine question.

There's nothing inherently wrong with being motivated primarily by external factors, but it's not actually why a lot of people create things, whether it's books or recipes or doodles in a notepad.

I enjoy the actual process of writing.

I think many people lose sight of that aspect in an era where tons of <500-word fics that are mostly outlines and "Imagine if..." posts get disproportionate attention for being easy to consume. But the satisfaction of doing a bigger art piece and doing it right is real and motivates a hell of a lot of creation.

I suppose you might be thinking "Okay, but why not just write it alone and never post?", but I like sharing. Showing off my finished creation is part of the joy, and sharing with other people like me is too. But those aren't quite the same thing as worrying about kudos. It's like dressing nicely when you leave the house because you feel great when you know you look good vs. needing another person to tell you you look good.

To be honest, though, this type of feeling has grown in me the better I've gotten at a craft. The closer my finished projects get to the vision in my head, the easier it is to find them fulfilling and to be excited to share them. When I fall short of my own ambitions, it's discouraging no matter how much attention I might get from others.

I feel like it's time for my regular reblog of Adam Westbrook's video essay series The Long Game.

The third and least known in the series is all about this idea of who you're making art for if you're not getting material rewards in the short term. It talks a lot about autotelicity—being internally driven instead of externally.

--

But if you really just want clicks, anon, start a blog that accepts anon asks and posts about wanky stuff. Actually tag things, unlike me, so people can find you.

No, writing for attention isn't worth it.

The time investment is too great and your brain will always fixate on the times people didn't respond instead of the times they did.

But that's not actually why most people write.

[resident-idiot-simp]

Haya everyone Resi here

Disclaimer for my account

You can find me here on TikTok, Instagram, Twitter , and Ao3.

My pronouns are She/Her (above 18) and I am somehow not any form of fruity ¯⁠\⁠_⁠(⁠ツ⁠)⁠_⁠/⁠¯ (well I might be a bit Aro/Ace but I don't really care)

I apologize beforehand because I cannot type dysgraphia is a bitch (I also use voice to type I am not sorry) and I'm also your local Southerner and Christian (tasteful kind) here in the U.S. of A.

I am riddled with the ADHD and I am here to commit arson and have fun.

I love answering asks and questions (especially about my fics) so please shoot me any you have 🩷🩷🩷

Tags on my blog:

#Resi Responds #Resi's breakdowns

#Resi's shorts #Resi's Life

#wendi!verse #Deer!Ghost

#walks up to mic #09 angst

#Deadclaw's Adoption Agency

#Pokémon au

Most current hyper fixation:

🧼Mw💀 & ❤️Dp&W💛

My fics :

DP&W

(how I picture the characters, constants in stuff I write, feral mutants explanation)

Deadclaw’s Adoption Agency- Wade and Logan end up adopting an army of misfits and create a home for those without one.

Meeting the Uncle- What happens when Laura runs into Sabretooth in the void?

What Comes Around Goes Around- The X-Men don't know how to feel about this new logan and have some horrible realizations about their own

Bloodline Spite- Laura doesn't like the X-men because of how they treated Logan

The Spider and The Mini Wolverine- Peter befriends Laura and the Avengers are in for a shock

Past Ghosts- Steve meets a man he thought long dead

What is the Deal With Thoes Two?- Students POV on Deadpool and Wolverine

Aftermath and Consequences- The Consequences of the Odyssey Monologue

When We Were Younger- What if Logan and Wade were both students at Xavier's at the same time

An Old Friend With New Stories- Steve and Bucky run across Logan

Running Across The Mini Wolverine- Three quick one-shots of people running across Laura Kinney and what I think would happen.

First Christmas With The New People- Dermot meets Laura first (Christmas fic)

Logan and Mew- Logan and Mew meet, become best friends, and chaos reigns.

The Kid He Always Wanted- Wade is really good with Laura and the X-Men can't believe it

COD

(Not a fic but the Captain MacTavish essay also characterization)

The Family Reunion- What if Soap's cousin saw him again after years of no contact?

An Outsiders Thoughts- What do others see when observing Soap and Ghost

The Uncle- What if Joseph didn't die and Ghost gets to be an uncle

Comfort- Soap gets overstimulated and Ghost helps comfort him

The Loaned Sergeant- Since Soap is so used to Ghost as his LT how would he work with another Lieutenant?

The Old Team- What happens when Soap meets his old team?

Soap and MacTavish- What if Soap meets Captain MacTavish?

Time Kept Ticking- Soap's Family thinks he's dead, but he comes knocking on their door how will they react?

Your a CAPTAIN?!- What if the original 141 were canon in the same universe as their reboot counterparts and Soap with Ghost were using the task force as a cover for their own team?

Don't Dish Out What You Can't Take- Soap and Ghost have a badass kid

Hunger- Ghost is a wendigo because it fits so well!!

The BAU Meet SoapGhost- The BAU deal with John 'Soap' MacTavish and Simon 'Ghost' Riley

The Prince & his Knight- Soap is a prince Ghost is a knight what will happen when Soap I told to court someone?

I haven't Talked to You Since last Year- Simon keeps making jokes and Soap is NOT having it

The Mistake- What if after Roba Tommy kicks Simon out?

Favored by the Crows- Ghost gains an army of crows

Task Force Try Playing Games With Civilians- The 141 play laser tag and paintball with some civilians

What People Around and On Base See- MORE POVS ON YOUR FAVORITE IDIOTS

Alone Time Interrupted by Your Team- Captain MacTavish is rudely interrupted by his team during his not so alone alone time

Cowboy Dan- Cowboy Dan is so Ghost-coded I needed to write a fic so decided to make it sad and about Soap becoming Ghost after Ghost died.

A Little Help- Ghost helps preen Soap's wings

A Little Pick-Me-Up With Company- Soap offers fresh blood to Ghost so they can escape a sticky situation while Price is an unwitting watcher

Jailbirds- Soap and Ghost get arrested on a mission gone wrong

A Preventable Fate- 09 Angst regarding Price not being a good person

What is With Those Two?- Model Ghost and Football player Soap are following each other on social media and the fans just realized

Feeding Your God- 09 Ghost as a lore accurate wendigo (Azilver wrote a story based off of this go read it! Also it has fanart that also works for my fic)

Accidental Mate Acquisition- Seal Mer Soap sees Ghost as his mate what will they do?

The Captain Blowing Off Steam- The Captain has his way with Riley who is just happy to be there

Mama Bear- Mama bear Beth

What do you need?- The Captain has visitors while having his way with Riley

Matching Smiles- Soap has a Glasgow smile

How Did This Snowball so Bad?! - Soap and Ghost experience their first heat/rut together

Relief- Soap with swollen balls needing relief and Ghost offering to help.

Wisper From the Woods - Wendigo Roach activities including but not limited to eating Graves

Mending of Broken Souls - Past meet their future selves (part of this event I hosted)

Love Bites- Vampire Riley getting less traumatized with some TLC from his Captain

Team Bonding- Team bonding over how the 141 imagine Captain MacTavish is like in bed and how badly everyone wants him.

MacTavish and Riley Take on the Apocalypse- Wendi!Verse meets TWD and interacts with the termites (also another small snippet for nine lives)

Feed Your Local Vampire they get Hangry- Vampire MacTavish and willing blood bag Riley

FNAF

Empire of dirt- Ever wanted to know what others in Hurricane thought of the Aftons well wonder no longer!

The Ghost & The Bear- Freddy's POV on a ghost Michael

Final Encore- What would happen if Michael met the crew in Security Breach

[skyfallscotland]

@heartfeltletters-written asked me 💥 How do you feel about criticism? and it felt like something that needed its own post, so here goes: the hypocrisy of critics in modern fandoms, an essay.

Criticism. I don't like getting it or giving it when it comes to writing. I struggle to even gently give it to friends, even when they ask me what I think of their work. Writing is such a personal thing that we pour our heart and soul into and like you say, many criticisms aren't necessarily valid. By that I mean, there's a difference between "Amy you use em dashes a lot babe" (I do) and "This story would have been so much better if Remi were a virgin" (actual criticism I have received, lmao). 

Unlike traditional authors, we will never make money from this, we do it for the love of it and it's time we will never get back. For some of us, it's time we could be working on our own original manuscripts too. I don't think people who give the second type of criticism are writers, generally. They don't understand the craft and what goes into it. Whenever I post and someone says a chapter was short or they immediately ask when the next one is, and that's all they say, I die inside a little. I try not to take it personally, but it's hard.

Personally, I think fandom behaviour is getting worse and that flows over into our comment sections and tumblr asks. I have a whole other dissertation on this that we’ll call ‘the slow death of fandom as we know it: an essay’, but that’s perhaps for another post. I don’t know how welcomed that commentary would be. 

You said the word ‘entitled’ in your original ask and I think that’s spot on. People have become more entitled in general and downright rude (which is not restricted to online spaces, by the way). I write for ACOTAR, but you’ve never seen me discuss it here because no matter what you say in that regard, you can’t win. Someone will always attack you and I do mean attack. Even in regards to Fourth Wing, I don't talk about my opinions a lot outside of my own little bubble of friends and readers.

And that's the kicker to this whole conversation, really. If I were to criticise Iron Flame/RY everyone would jump down my throat (as has happened on other platforms), even though I'd never say it to her face. Do I stand by my opinions? Absolutely. But it would be rude to tell her them, unless asked. I’m not allowed to (validly) criticise certain elements of her story, a published novel, without being attacked for it, but those same people are fine criticising my work directly to me. Hypocrisy at its finest.

There’s a new influx of people to fandom spaces who are completely unwilling to integrate and completely unwilling to be kind. You mentioned those who criticised your work could have saved themselves the trouble and read the tags, but the thing is: they don’t want to. They can’t be bothered to take five seconds and figure out how they work, to curate their own experience, because that’s what half these people are like. They want an algorithm to do it for them, gods help us.

For me, personally, I'm my biggest critic. I also have raging generalised anxiety, so just posting on the internet is enough to send me spiralling (seriously, I feel sick just typing this out). It's very, very out of my comfort zone and I've been very, very lucky so far to have cultivated the readership I have, full of very like-minded people. Perhaps due to some of the darker content matter. But the second I get harshly worded comments, I get upset.

I don't say that to elicit sympathy, it's just a fact. I get upset about it the same way I would if you were standing in front of me saying it to my face, and for someone with depression and anxiety, that lingers. I'm getting better at laughing at them, but it's like when someone tells you they don't like you and your mum says "just ignore them"—not that easy, right? 

So yeah, I don't mind if you want to tell me I use a lot of em dashes, or that I've used a word incorrectly in context, but I don't need to hear how much you hate original character fic when you could just use your last remaining braincell the back button and continue on with your day. Just be kind, is all I'm saying.

[anxious-witch]

Since I can't seem to stay quiet and I all but made up my mind to stay away from the tag for the next week or so, let's talk about recent discussions about jance and bokris and this...weird ship war that has been going on, shall we?

Under the cut bc while I am annoying, I will spare you the essay if you don't want to read it, god knows I write too many of these.

I don't know when we as a fandom got to a point where we are even fighting over which ship is more likely, more realistic and if the other ship is "more queer coded" or whatever the fuck. I was under the impression that the fandom is meant to be fun thing we do, but that we are all aware shipping is something that's made up. And that even if guys play into it or even if someone is indeed really dating we are aware that what we think about it is irrelevant. Factually, even if someone "was right" about the ship, our perception of it will be widely different than the truth of real people's relationship. Because these are real people, not fictional characters. They cannot queerbait, and jokes aside, even calling someone queer coded is weird, you guys. At the end of the day, we cannot assume someone's sexuality based on how they look.

As for the whole bokris-jance discourse. I don't even know why this is a thing? Bokris people, you got fantastic solo photos of both Bojan and Kris, full of symbolism and got the fire-water link between them that's just perfect for fics.

Jance people, you got joined photoshoot, with Jan and Nace clearly being very intimately connected, which you can interpret in whatever way you wish in fics and fanart. The fact that there are less pictures speaks volumes about how private whatever they have is.

Both have it's merits. Both have it's weight. I don't understand this aggression and fighting over art. Art all of them participated in creating by speaking with Damon about it before doing the photoshoot.

I have friends who ship jance more and I have friends who ship bokris more. The truth about both is that we simply don't know what's going on behind closed doors. Even more importantly, is whatever it is that we don't know worth losing the community we built here? I feel like every time I get into the tag, there is something new people are fighting over. This is just the last thing that seems relevant and that most people got involved into.

But genuinely, I am just tired. I hope things calm down when the new song drops, although god knows there will likely be a discourse over that as well, but hopefully...less than this.

And yeah, I do know this will probably get me blocked from one or the other side or both but let's just...get it over with. Since I feel like this will happen again, I might as well make my stance clear now. Which is-I am not picking a side. I don't think real people can queerbait and that they'd do a joined photoshoot if they didn't have a very deep connection to one another. I don't think they also need their virtue defended because they definitely knew people will speculate after this. But I also don't think this 100% means they are together. Yes, it sucks that queer people need to outright say these things, but I also wouldn't claim a straight couple is dating unless they publicly announced it.

So yeah can we all just please try to chill and do fun stuff again, please?

[azullumi]

ayato and alhaitham — boyfriend messages ☆彡

summary — phone calls and messages exchanged between you two.

characters — ayato and alhaitham (w/gender-neutral reader)

tags — fluff, modern au, established relationship, no use of emojis in text ; headcanons

word count — 736

note — i fell asleep early yesterday so i couldn't write anything. ignore the mistakes bcs i didn't proofread this yet.

KAMISATO AYATO

He's formal when it comes to his typing, always making sure to have the proper capitalizations on his texts as well as punctuations and grammar. You barely see him—actually never see him using emojis nor emoticons to add more feelings on his messages as he reasons that he could just call you to show you what he's feeling. He did, however, try it once but it didn't go quite well as the emojis he used often didn't match what he was saying.

On that note, he prefers calls with you than texts, especially when the camera is turned on for the both of you. It makes him happy seeing your face especially when he works and it makes it easier for him to talk to you as he doesn't have to hold the phone the whole time and struggle with finishing his tasks. He also loves hearing your voice—he could listen to you talk for hours even when everything that you are saying is just pure nonsense and he can't process anything inside his head.

It is clear and obvious that he wakes up earlier than you because of the fact that the first thing you see in the morning when you open your eyes and check your phone is his good morning messages sent at the time the sun is either still down or is still just rising, he's always the first one to message you each day as if he's having a silent competition with others to see who messages you first. You never want to guess what time he wakes up—or wait, does he even sleep?

Always expect to have messages from him to hangout, go out on a date, or anything—he always comes and picks you up, insisting on it when you denied at first but was persistent so you just got used to it— and honestly, the majority of your messaging history with him is just him inviting you out as conversations are mostly held when the two of you are face to face together. He prefers to talk about everything while you two are having a meal or taking a stroll instead of having a screen in front of your face.

ALHAITHAM

Sarcastic remarks being said, banters exchanged to one another, and teasing that leads to small fights or arguments and ending up with either of the two of you apologizing only after 12 hours—minimum— to 2 days later at most. Can't stand his personality? Just sit down, he tells you. Sometimes, you question yourself: does he even care? But then you remember how he always makes sure to text you every day and check on you once in a while or how he never replies late to your messages despite being known for not even reading or answering to others—only when he wants to.

However, despite all of those banters and arguments, there is still affection in your messages—no matter how small or simple it is, no matter how obvious or subtle it is—like him calling you and willingly helping you with your research and projects after calling you stupid in text, at times you'll ask him to accompany you to somewhere and he'll go with you without asking, or when you'll tell him about how you're stressing about your essay and how you will print them because you're busy and you might end up forgetting it, but then he'll show up to your class with a cup of coffee and your papers in hand even when you didn't ask him to.

He's not a fan of calls or facetimes but he wouldn't mind it—when it's you—to be honest. He doesn't talk a lot though and would prefer just listening to you and responding to your rambles from time to time, making comments and asking questions especially when it's about gossip and tea—you probably don't know how his interest always gets piqued whenever you tell him about those stories. He's a gossip guy, you see.

However, even when you and he aren't talking on call and are just doing their own thing, he doesn't complain because he gets to watch you as you go on complete focus, either because you're studying or finishing something that is nearly due already. Your eyebrows scrunched, eyes narrowed or squinted while reading, as you purse your lips into a thin line, he's amused by the expression on your face and couldn't help the light chuckle that emits from his throat.

© azullumi — do not plagiarize, copy, repost, nor translate any of my works.

[eemamminy-art]

people i want to know better!

tagged by @milkywaystarboy 🥺🙏 I don't think we've talked before but I always notice your name in my notifications!! 💛 Thank you for the tag!! Stuff like this is always so fun!

last song: 1994 by Cavetown :3 I like it very much... I'm listening to him so much lately and plucking a zillion songs for my malex playlist ehehe

favorite color: Brown, specifically like, umber :3 That's the best!!! Close follow-ups are olive green and teal.

currently watching: Nothing currently?? Not to be that "I don't watch TV" guy but I usually listen to youtube video essays and narrations.. Last series I watched was the Fallout tv show though and I'll probably be watching rings of power soon

last movie: Prisoners (2013), I put it on yesterday on my other screen while I was working! Really disturbing movie but the performances were outstanding, really enjoyed it from like an acting craft sort of way

sweet/spicy/savory: Spicy!!!

current obsession: FFXIV and Stardew Valley. Uh... can I say my own fanfic? I'm thinking about it all the time as I'm writing it haha

last thing i googled: "endwalker behind the voice actors" wanted to double check if Erenville's VA did another voice in endwalker, because I could swear he did (and he did! It was a loporrit)

Tagging:

@azurecatboy @may-coops @may8elle

@sebille @bell-bones @plainlyray

(I tagged people I follow but don't feel like I know that well, but also like, anyone who sees this and wants to do it please do! I will read any/all if you tag me in the post :3)

[gwenllian-in-the-abbey]

apologies for being callous in asking this, but seeing as so many aegon-centric (or those who had tagged him) blogs, no matter how good their dissertion and dissection of aegon is, gets called/is assumed to be a rapist defender/apologist, have you ever received an ask/comment calling you that? if so, i hope it never bothered you at all. apologies for bringing it up but i feel like getting called that would probably stopped those from actually enjoying/talking about him and his other qualities (such as his alcoholism, his bond with his dragon, his actions during the dance, his desperate survival.) because it actually stopped me from enjoying his character (because i initially felt so bad liking a character like that), going through his tag as well as looking for fics because of the vitriol. well that was until i stumbled upon your AKAB and OFCiR, which gave me so much perspective on aegon. and your opinion on the dyanna scene (which is oh boy, such a hot topic) was so beautiful.

No worries anon! So actually, I've never received an ask or comment with the rape defender/rape apologist accusations (and now that I've said this, I'm sure I'm sure someone will want to break that streak lol). I've participated in discussions in general in which those sorts of attacks were tossed around, but I've never had them aimed at me directly.

I'm honestly pretty surprised it hasn't happened, but I sort of chalk it up to two things. 1) I block prodigiously and pre-emptively and 2) I tag my discourse posts judiciously and try not to antagonize other fans by posting critical things in the main tags. And although I know opinions vary on this, using anti tags and team tags is also another way of making sure that people who have certain tags blocked will not see my posts, so I do use those when I feel it's appropriate. Beyond those two things, I think I also have a habit of writing pretty detailed responses and providing evidence to back up my assertions, which probably discourages people who are just looking to get a rise out of someone and don't want to read a five paragraph essay about why they're wrong.

I'm really sorry that those sorts of accusations have stopped you from enjoying Aegon's character in the past, and I'm glad my fics helped you to enjoy him again. Obviously I think he's an interesting guy with a compelling, tragic story! I will say this: I've been in the greater asoiaf fandom for well over a decade now, and characters who are far more morally dubious than Aegon have always had fans. Ramsay has fans. Euron Greyjoy has fans. I don't know if you were watching GoT when the show first aired, but so many show only people hated Jaime at first, not knowing his arc, and by the end he was one of the more beloved characters on the show. And by the end of the Dance, no one's hands are clean. Rhaenyra herself allows Dalton Greyjoy to reave along the coast of the Westerlands, which results in hundreds of women being taken as salt wives (and we know what that entails!). If we can only enjoy the most morally correct characters, our choices for the Dance era are pretty slim, and mostly limited to literal children.

I doubt most people throwing out those accusations could even spot actual rape apologia in a fandom context, considering all of the other types of apologia I see flying around unchecked. Rape apologia is not the existence of rapist characters, enjoying those characters, or even analyzing why those characters did what they did. Rape apologia is not questioning why the show decided to make Aegon a rapist, or hoping he might get more character development in the future. Rape apologia is making excuses for rape, or outright denying that it happened. So, saying "Dyana was probably lying" or "Dyana was probably into it" or "Dyana was scamming the royal family," or even what Aegon himself said in the scene, "it was just a bit of harmless fun," that's clear cut rape apologia. And here's the thing, when something is wrong, it's usually because it causes harm, and unlike simply enjoying a character, actual rape apologia does cause harm. Making excuses for or denying even fictional rapes perpetuates rape culture in ways that make it harder for women to speak up against assault, and harder for rapists to be prosecuted effectively. But again, I have never seen actual rape apologia among the team green fans I know.

Finally, I'll just say that while fandom in general can be a fun, positive thing that helps people connect with each other based on shared interests, that drives people to think and to create and to do, on the other hand, fandom can also feed some pretty shitty modern impulses. It creates cliques, empowers bullies, and worst of all, it encourages a kind of brand driven consumption that in turn perpetuates this idea of fandom as activism. Activism is getting involved in your community, volunteering, fundraising, protesting, labor organizing, boycotting, etc. Activism is not scolding people online for enjoying media the wrong way. People who think this way need to reconnect with the outside world, and anon, I hope you continue to enjoy whichever characters fascinate you, including Aegon.

[storiesbyjes2g]

There's been a sad lack of Sims tag games lately so I decided to bring back one of my faves: 'Song tag - Couples Edition'! Rules: Simply pick one of your OC couples and choose the song that best represents their relationship. Then post the song on your Simblr with a screenshot of your couple. Post the lyrics too if you want, it's up to you! Send this ask to some of your mutuals who also have OCs, or tag them in your post! No obligation, just have fun if you decide to do it! 💖(Note: This is for when you're not busy!)

I don't like reusing pics, especially when I don't take many to begin with, but this will have to do for now. My couple is the one and only Kameron and Nadia Pierson, and the song I feel describes them perfectly is All of Me by John Legend.

Kam and Nadia are opposites in a lot of ways. Nadia can be hot and cold. Kameron keeps everything close to the vest while Nadia wants to talk it out. Their relationship has been a tug-of-war with heavy emphasis on war lol. But even through all of that, they still loved each other like crazy. We all know Nadia has been on a journey, but Kameron never pulled back or gave up on her. He's like the slow drip of water that erodes away rock and eventually forms canyons. He luh dat woman, sharp tongue, questionable morals, and all lol. And she loves him even though he annoys the crap out of her sometimes.

Another part of the song makes me think about Nadia and how much she gained when they got together. She had a full life before meeting Kameron. She enjoyed her career, had a nice house in the city, nice car, freedom, and a powerful, wealthy, problematic man who had a knack for expensive gifts. I'm sure she had some hater friends that thought she was giving up too much by moving in with a man who had a kid and worked nights, and then she eventually gave up her career to raise their children. Though she may have given up many physical things, she gained so many invaluable intangibles in return. "Even when I lose, I'm winning." And Kameron too! I'm sure there have been many times he's felt like he's losing this life game, especially when he's sleeping in another room (or she is), but he still wins because he found his person. It's a tough relationship, but he still finds beauty in it and finds it to be rewarding. He can see through all her masks and loves the woman behind them. They each could have found someone easier to deal with, but they stay together and fight because it's worth it. They balance each other out in some ways even though the scale is never completely at zero lol. Just like their opposites, they are strongly aligned in some areas, and those things unite them way more than the things that pull them apart.

When Kam and Nadia are involved, I can't not write an essay lol. The lyrics are under the cut.

What would I do without your smart mouth? Drawing me in, and you kicking me out You've got my head spinning, no kidding, I can't pin you down What's going on in that beautiful mind? I'm on your magical mystery ride And I'm so dizzy, don't know what hit me, but I'll be alright

My head's under water But I'm breathing fine You're crazy and I'm out of my mind

'Cause all of me Loves all of you Love your curves and all your edges All your perfect imperfections Give your all to me I'll give my all to you You're my end and my beginning Even when I lose, I'm winning 'Cause I give you all of me And you give me all of you, oh-oh

How many times do I have to tell you? Even when you're crying, you're beautiful too The world is beating you down, I'm around through every mood You're my downfall, you're my muse My worst distraction, my rhythm and blues I can't stop singing, it's ringing in my head for you

My head's under water But I'm breathing fine You're crazy and I'm out of my mind

'Cause all of me Loves all of you Love your curves and all your edges All your perfect imperfections Give your all to me I'll give my all to you You're my end and my beginning Even when I lose, I'm winning 'Cause I give you all of me And you give me all of you, oh-oh Give me all of you, oh

Cards on the table, we're both showing hearts Risking it all, though it's hard

'Cause all of me Loves all of you Love your curves and all your edges All your perfect imperfections Give your all to me I'll give my all to you You're my end and my beginning Even when I lose, I'm winning 'Cause I give you all of me And you give me all of you

I give you all of me And you give me all of you, oh-oh

[atrophiedemotion]

hey Cast! uh so this ask is about. alien stage. but imma send you another about some random shit because why not. anyways

the tags that you had on that previous post with me and plip (the one about ivan and till and how they show honesty differently and how we know about their characters a different amount because of how forthcoming or not they are) and my question for you is, how many of Ivan's actions do you think are representative of his true emotions? I don't think his body language, in general, is very forthcoming but I do agree that his actions can be pretty revealing (he strikes me as an acts of service person especially with trying to escape with Till) but uh yeah I'm wondering if there are any specific examples that you think of as being revealing of his actual thoughts or specific examples of him pretending to be someone else?

thanks for listening to me yap uh I hope you're doing well and that you have an awesome day!

rock... oh boy... this is gonna be a long one. wonderful question. thank you for the ask, i hope you have a great day as well!!

so, i didn't fully explain in the tags because i didn't want to write a full length essay on plip's post (ty plip for dealing w the rambling)(i was also very tired so i wasn't fully articulate lmao) but i meant that ivan shows his emotions through the outcomes/projected outcomes of his actions. he certainly isn't very forthcoming in the way he acts and portrays himself, but there is undeniable truth in the intent and meaning behind everything he does, even things that seem counterproductive.

i think that since ivan genuinely cannot fully be upfront and honest (due to trauma, his lack of self worth, and his decided survival strategy) his main truths show in the deeper meaning of the things he does for other people and himself. with ivan, it is all about intent. i've said before that the only way to understand ivan is to dig deeper and this is very much true here. he uses a lot of subterfuge to throw people off from his actual intentions, but they're there.

ivan often uses unconventional, roundabout ways to achieve his goals/get what he wants- especially when they mean something to him. he is a guy who is caked in layers upon layers of meaning only if you pull back the acres of curtains he's covered them with. he doesn't want people to know what goes on in his head, so he covers it up valiantly. this is due to his low self esteem of course, but also full on survival. in order for his plans to work, no one can be in on it. no one can know what he's thinking. all of his true feelings and thoughts need to be hidden in order to achieve success, but in the end it's fucking hard to not leave a trace of your true feelings.

with all that being said, examples!

the biggest and most obvious examples are mainly related to till (of course they are) and i also feel like they're the most telling. ivan's teachers specifically pointed out that he was only childish around till (they were relieved by it, too, because he was so damn serious the rest of the time and didn't behave like a child should). ivan has the hardest time hiding his true emotions around till, which makes sense, because till makes him feel the most emotion when his are always dulled. that doesn't stop him from going the 'i must hide my crush by pulling his pigtails' route but, y'know.

since most of these are talked about frequently and i dont want to keep beating a dead horse in an already long post, here's a (hopefully) brief list:

-the biggest one, the meteor shower. going through all of that to escape with till, specifically during a meteor shower that it seemed ivan was desperate to show till (to introduce his shooting stars to each other or smth im sure). ivan offered till freedom and denied himself of it when till turned around and he followed him back without question.

-his good behavior can arguably be considered to be due, in part, to the perks an obedient pet gets. this isn't just a till thing but ivan's obedience is very telling of his need and drive for survival, which considering his uhh,, track record is likely largely so he can protect till. gaining perks and learning insider information, like how to take collars off and gain access to isolation cells, assist him in assisting and caring for till.

-the sometimes silent companionship they share. the way ivan will poke at him to get his outright attention but is still at times satisfied with just existing in till's space and enjoying his presence says a lot about his genuine adoration and admiration of till

-his sacrifice. i don't think i need to say much about this as it's pretty self explanatory lmao but it is a Great example of what im trying to convey. ivan does honest things and has to cover them up at the same time. the 'violence' was to end the round of course, but it was also kind of like a familiar bandaid over the painfully honest feelings he conveyed with the kiss. even if he didn't really hurt him he couldn't just be honest

there are definitely more (most everything he does in regards to till tbh) but i wanted to talk about some others too

the comic conversation with sua about her sacrifice! such a big one. ivan's feelings about sua are very complicated, but to me i feel like he cares about her to an extent, almost pitying in a way. he's horribly jealous of her and the love she has, but he sees so much of himself in her that what he says in that conversation is probably at least half projection, even if he's not aware of it.

the way he looks at her without trying to hide his distaste feels like the way he would look down on himself. the whole thing shows not only his disgust with himself, but his anger towards someone who is so similar to him that she makes the same plans in her head even though she has something he believes he'll never have. it's envy, tried and true, and he doesn't even hide it at the time. he hides the self loathing behind it, but still. that might be the most honest we've seen ivan aside from the end of r6.

that conversation also does kind of show the fact that he cares for sua and mizi. sua in a way he acknowledges less to himself, but certainly mizi.

and speaking of mizi, my last example for right now is the way he watched round 5 like he was barely holding it together and sort of did his own recreation of it in round 6. the strangling was reminiscent of the way mizi lunged at luka and he almost certainly got the idea for his method of sacrifice from what she did. it kind of feels like an ode to her, in a way. an ode to mizi while offering himself up for till, which. is very sad but almost a little sweet, that he had a piece of mizi in what he was doing for till.

okay okay im sure i could keep talking about this but ive been writing for. a long time LMAO so i will stop here but! yeah. ivan shows his emotions inadvertently through his actions and about fifty levels of subterfuge. but it's all we get, so...

thank you for the ask again my dude, i really enjoyed answering it!

[eldritch-elrics]

ok continuing from my tags on the "what does your blorbo think of gay sex" poll. here's what i'm thinking about wrt james sunderland. it's my blog so i can put whatever i want on here so i'm just going to talk about this now.

first of all i've only played sh1&2, so if james turns up in other games i may change my opinion... well anyway

so normally when i think about characters i like, i default to them being bi because that is fun, but in the case of james, i think he is straight. i don't think this is something he's thought much about, because he is not a guy who thinks much about his sexuality. all that shit is repressed as hell. we know this. moving on

all that being said, i don't think james would be actively opposed to the idea of gay sex. it's just not something he would consider at all, under normal circumstances (/even if he didn't have a wife). james is, however, absolutely not in normal circumstances by the time we meet him. does this mean there is a plausible scenario involving james and gay sex?

you may have guessed where i'm going with this. the real question is: could pyramid head represent repressed homosexuality? (well, bisexuality?) pyramid head sure is juggling a bunch of symbolism, and ymmv on the specifics of that symbolism, beyond the obvious (that he represents the judgement & punishment james feels he deserves). it's pretty easy to argue that he also represents james's repressed sexuality as a whole (given the mannequin cutscene, the symbolic penetration of maria, you know what i mean). in both of these instances, he's also trying to cut away distractions so that james can get to his goal & to his final realization with clearer eyes. why does he do that in such a sexually charged way, though? uh... idk. let's see if i come up with an answer by the end of this post

you've also got the "is pyramid head meant to be sexy" question. well... he is definitely a muscular guy. his particular design on the ps2 version makes it kind of difficult to tell where his clothes and skin begin & end. i would argue this makes him less an object of desire and moreso something like a sexual rival for james. like - this sort of sexual hypermasculinity that james sees himself as distant from or weaker than. maybe he represents james's fear that his own instincts and his own wants from his relationships (not necessarily sexual wants) are ultimately predatory or harmful for the people he loves. (yay i did come up with an answer!) (also bookmarking this thought as i want to expand on it in another, better post)

coming back to the central (?) question of this essay (??). could james fuck pyramid head? is there enough thematic precedent for it? if he did... under what circumstances would that even make sense? it feels pretty clear to me that this would have to be an extension of a sex-as-punishment complex - james manifests pyramid head (sexual edition) to put him (james) in his place / establish dominance over him, thus validating his own feelings of weakness/helplessness and lack of control over things that happen in his relationships.

if pyramid head's whole goal is to get james to recognize his guilt about mary, though... i'm not sure. it feels like james would go into this whole thing as a distraction (but in a different way than how maria is a distraction - i legitimately do not think james would view sex with pyramid head as "real sex" ie. something that would count as cheating on mary). pyramid head, though... i think there's something to be said about the raw and tactile nature of sex. it could be kinda like their first fight: they rough each other up, and then PH leaves. PH would refuse to be anything permanent, and just leave james with lots of questions about what the hell he's doing here.

idk. many questions. it's very late and idk how much sense this makes. maybe i'll write a fanfic about this or something lmao

[cloudmancy]

i don't want to be mean or anything but like. the cr/t/cal r/le girlies in the dimension 20 tag are just sending me like, i just Knew these people be just all over this season and diving in and dissecting every little detail and speculating for the larger picture (of six episodes) (plus a season that's already been out for a year) as though people like. haven't been having to Sit with the Very, Very unfinished/untold part of the world of this campaign setting for Years already? (the Widely Established Fanlore of it all XD) although that's also been also been folding in the face of. all the colin posts (like Specifically colin too past even colin+raphaniel or colin+deli). like they fell for the cr bait so hard- group of fans starved for mlm content based on their typical cr diet, see a guy (Just Some Guy) looking the way he was, see his mysterious past and divorce and arc and glowup and post-divorce talks and. yknow. whaddya gonna do. that's all they're gonna talk about when the EXPLICITLY mlm radish priest who's been grooming that VERY SAME cheese guy for five years is right there.

anyways i'm going to write all that off anon and pretend i'm not deathly scared of invoking the wrath of cr fans after that thing on twitter

IT'S ACTUALLY REALLY FUNNY YEAH. gonna address the colin part first then talk about my problems with the season under a spoiler. listen I think deli & colin are very real in that deli wants him SO bad but it's crazy that people are dancing around colin's whole thing with raphaniel. like what do you guys think was going on there 😭 'he's his babysitter' SAY IT OUT LOUD! he was fucking that radish

now for my thoughts about the plot and pacing of ravening war

I do not like that this season (that was supposed to be about a war covering 7+ years of intense political conflict and full-scale warfare involving every country in the continent) got boiled down to 2 massive timeskips & 3 battle episodes of five guys fucking around in a cave because the entire war was actually started by a secret cult. there were no battles involving the actual war + 1 skill check for entire 5 years at a time + almost nothing politics wise + they missed the ENTIRE climatic final push for the end of the war because they were underground. it's so poorly paced, I really don't know what to say. am I the crazy one here for wanting a season about the ravening war to be about the war? it just doesn't feel like the characters had any impact on the plot past episode 3 and they ONLY because they kill the queen of candia because a cult told them to. because we get alliances forged and broken and conflicts ended and rulers crowned within the span of a single sentence from the DM before we chug back off to the mycelium hivemind main plot. hot take but every season does not in fact need a plot twist big bad to fight

all of the characters in the season are genuinely the most interesting characters I've seen in YEARS. it's a goddamn shame we didn't get to spend more time with them. it sucks that each of them brought so much intrigue and backstory to the war, but every single one of them ended up contributing not much at all to the scale of the campaign because, again, the final boss turned out to be a cult within the top secret cult of mushrooms that was ALREADY a secret but there is also ANOTHER, more powerful deity to fight in the very last episode. we needed more episodes, or less time spent on battles. we needed to not bring on a DM known for having all the time in the world to wrap up years-long campaigns in 5 hour chunks at a time, for a 6 ep miniseason. we did not need two more powerscaled deities for no reason to a war that should have been about the people and not... random alien eldritch forces. we needed closure on amangeaux's child, we needed to know WHY raphaniel was poisoning the king and starting a war in the first place. aabria wrote a whole essay about karna's backstory that I would've loved to see in the show itself, but... we didn't get to see it! there were almost no politics. we did get 4 separate secret underground mushroom fights though. in a campaign about a war.

"real life is messy! not everything gets wrapped up neatly! it reflects real wars!" this is a dnd show sir and when you spend 20 minutes out of 12 hours of content actually talking politics and the rest of the time fucking around with mushrooms in a cave, it starts to look less like a deliberate artistic choice and more like poorly paced plot threads that didn't get a chance to finish.

[arokel]

10 questions for 10 writers

thank you so much for the tag @strangethings-everywhere ! secretly I've always wanted to do one of these

1. Is writing a hobby or a way of life?

Way of life for sure; I'm basically never not thinking about it. I start to feel awful and purposeless if I go too long without writing at least something.

2. A journal full of notes or a clean completed manuscript?

Clean completed manuscript, unfortunately. I wish I could be less persnickety about my first drafts but so far that hasn't happened. I do sometimes make extensive outlines though and those are always by hand, but they're usually pretty clean too :/ no scribbly scribbly for me

3. Who or what inspired your writing?

I've been writing since I was five years old and telling stories since I could talk, so I guess I'll say that when I was first reading chapter books I asked my parents why books always have a few blank pages at the end and they said it was so you had space to continue the story yourself if you wanted. They made it up on the spot and they don't remember saying it at all, but it's always stuck with me.

4. Which is worse: Someone you ‘idolize’ reading your first draft or listening to you sing?

Listening to me sing, 100%. I post my barely-edited first drafts on ao3 all the time lmao. But I also feel like with a first draft it's easy to say hey this is a first draft, if there's stuff you don't like I'm happy to hear criticism! Whereas with singing, that's just your voice. You can practice the song but at some point whether they like it or not just comes down to something about you that you can't change. (Although I am a hashtag classically trained singer so my feelings of needing to live up to that might not be universal.) (Don't ask me to sing opera for you because I don't actually like opera.)

5. Has writing from someone else’s POV changed your perspective?

I think most of the perspective changes that have come out of stories have been from reading for me? Like the first time I was really exposed to the idea of transness was a Harry Potter fic (suck on that, JKR) and that obviously really stuck with me. But I think the desire to write from queer povs really helped me come to terms with my own sexuality, maybe more than actually doing it. I guess writing narrative essays, which I do less frequently than straight up fiction, is usually a way for me to explore things I feel about myself and about the world.

6. Tumblr, AO3, LiveJournal, or FFN?

AO3 foreverrrrrrr. I was on ffn in my misspent youth and Very briefly on lj, but ao3 has been my home since 2014 and it would take a lot to get me to move.

7. AO3 word count? And are you satisfied with it?

646,046, and soon enough it'll jump another 100,000. Honestly not sure how I feel about that.

8. What movie/book gripped you irrevocably?

I will never not love Tamora Pierce's Tortall series. I know they're kind of dated and don't hold up in some places, but they've been in my bloodstream so long that they're basically a part of my understanding of the world. They shaped so much of my ideas on literature - how to create compelling characters and relationships, what makes a world believable, what fantasy even is - and honestly I think they're responsible for about 50% of my sense of humor and at least a quarter of my relationship to gender. They were my first fandom and in the end I'll always come back to them.

9. What’s the highest compliment you could ever be given, and have you been given it?

One of my plays deals with a very difficult emotional subject and is quite frankly pretty depressing the whole way through, and after the premiere a friend of mine came up to me and said "it was so so funny; I was laughing the entire time." That's what I always want my writing to do, not so much in fic but out in the world - I want to give people catharsis, and I hope they leave the reading or viewing experience feeling a little better than they did going in. And also I want people to laugh at my jokes.

10. What defines your writing style?

Can I say inconsistency? No but really it's definitely dialogue. I struggle with descriptive prose sometimes, but I never have to work at dialogue. I think it's my strongest area and people always tell me it's snappy (thank you Tamora Pierce). Other than that uhh... too many commas probably.

tagging @violasmirabiles @fregata-magnificens @kjxlll @borealopelta @uwu-dowoon @teaforarteza @icegreyrose @shadowquill17 @ris-d-deridex and using my 10th tag for anyone else who wants to participate!

[kyomunosaki]

I started Hypnospace Outlaw

...and I've noticed a few small things that are super interesting, mostly with the idea of tutorialization.

I didn't plan to do a writeup on this, so I don't have any of my own gameplay's screenshots. I remember most of the gist, so I can probably write a few sentences on this topic that really stuck with me. I would've gone back for more screens but I'm feeling very lazy and I might repost this with editing/photos in the future lol

So Hypnospace Outlaw is basically a pre-2K "internet janitor simulator" except that you don't do it for free. You're like a free contractor/PMC janitor, where you get comissions to hunt down certain infringement of internet/Hypnospace law.

The first case is to find instances where the copyright for a 1968 of a cartoon character named Gumshoe Gooper is being infringed upon. I found this case to be a phenomenal tutorial for both the game mechanics and the philosophical(?) questions the game wants to ask.

Gumshoe Gooper (Hypnospace Outlaw)

At first upon getting this case, I was still grappling with the game mechanics, exploring the Windows 98-ass interface with the skill of an old man in a nursing home. At the time I entirely forgot about the search function, so I just explored by going through various web portals and webrings, a la Geocities.

I found a lot of interesting sites that I don't really have the time (nor screenshots) to talk about and do justice with, but there's a lot of awesome things to find in Hypnospace if you're willing to just take time and look around. I do want to possibly talk about that later if there's interest.

After just stumbling around the internet and remembering how hard it is to find stuff through web portals, I remembered the search function existed thanks to one of the sites I ended up on having tags that open up the search window. So I searched for "gooper"

You find 3 sites from that search, two from AbbyWrites58 and another from another woman who's name I can't recall right now. The first site is a typical late 90s personal site you might find, for a first-grade teacher. It contains mentions of memorials to dead lost ones, a Hypnospace Heaven or something, and is part of a "Spirituality" web ring, but otherwise not much to note. The first link however, is a link to "Drawings of Gumshoe Gooper by my first graders"

Webrings on Abby's World (Hypnospace Outlaw)

On the link, its filled with pencil/crayon sketches of Gumshoe Gooper by a bunch of children, but also 2 gifs that seem like legitimate copyright infringement. I still felt apprehensive about reporting this page to the Hypnospace Enforcers, because it felt like a teacher just wanting to share the work of her students and I was hoping to find other violations to fit my quota. Regardless, even if I were to fill out my quota there were only 2 very clear examples of copyright infringement on the page.

So, I went back and checked out the other site by AbbyWrites58, and this one was... a political support website for a local politician? Who was seemingly a politician that had different views than, I, the player did? And she was using a GIF of Gumshoe Gooper saying that he supported her? I didn't have much hesitation just hitting her with the copyright violation on this page.

The third page was just another site but with an official Gumshoe Gooper strip posted on it. As you can tell the rest of this essay is lazily thrown together and just a retelling of events, but I do not remember the exact details of the page. I just remember still feeling apprehensive about reporting stuff on the page with children's art, so I think I reported that strip.

I still hadn't reached my quota of 3 violations reported, so I begrudgingly made my way back to the initial site I had landed on in my search. I decided to report one of the GIFs, and didn't feel too bad about it since while she did teach first graders I did find her political views somewhat, off-putting. I was going to make my way back to the case page to finalize it, but I got a notification on the not!Clippy software, telling me that if I find more violations I could get a bonus on closing the case?

A child's drawing of Gumshoe Gooper (Hypnospace Outlaw)

So, I decide to report the other GIF on the page as well, and look at that: more money. And then I have a dark urge to test something out. What about this first grader's art? What if I file it for copyright infringement, what would happen? Would the kid get in trouble? Will the teacher get the blame? Did the teacher even deserve any blame? Well, I hit the report. It works. So I go through the page, filing every crude drawing of Gumshoe Gooper by children as a violation of copyright law.

I get a lot of money, and I don't feel too bad after learning more about AbbyWrites58. Besides, the other members of her webring were openly fascists! That sort of association makes you liable to uh, getting in serious trouble over copyright infringement of a 1968 cartoon character right? It's just my job! I needed to hit the quota! And what if I flag her account to the authorities, her account with her location and other personal information tied to it?! What is the worst that could happen, and maybe I would feel a bit more bad about it if her political views weren't so, wrong?

This sort of self-justification I found myself doing just felt fascinating. It was some of the most engaged I felt with a game's narrative in so long, and it's only been made more fascinating by later cases like even the one just following this with ZANE_ROCKS_14. If you liked this post, maybe I'll actually try to edit this one down properly and actually take screenshots too. Regardless, if you got this far thanks for reading!

Edit: I can see how this makes me look like kind of a dumbass but I guess what's more accurate is "what her political views were being signalled as" is more accurate for some of the stuff I say above lol, but I'm too lazy to edit the post more than this

[that-starry-freak]

Okay, wow. Uhm.. I'm honestly kind of tired of all the fandom discourse. So i- I want to talk about it.

 This is honestly about to be really personal. So CW for mentions of hypersexuality and grooming(that ones at the very end), as well as mentions of harassment and aphobia. I also vaguing a bit, but its not too explicit (I do name 2 people at some point but im defending them and talking about how they dont deserve to be harassed, so-) and I'm not talking negatively about anyone!

Also please ignore my terrible grammar/spelling. This is kind of just me ranting and in no way is meant to be an actual well written essay or anything

Okay- so- god I was writing this all in my head but now I'm trying to type this out im coming up short

Okay, lets try this- there's no way to really neatly and perfectly segway into what I want to talk about, but I'll try my best

I just really want to talk about the harassment that's been going on in the fandom. Because its really just.. frustrating.

First is the allegations of aphobia.

Yes, aroace people can be aphobic! But can we please learn the difference between projecting and aphobia. 

There are aroace people in this fandom seeing Moon and Nexus and deciding to make them not sex repulsed because they arnt. Ive seen people get called aphobic for making them demiaroace, or aceflux, or just non-repulsed aroace. And I've seen people make fics of awful acts, "correcting" their asexuality, and being purposely tagged wrong.

Which one of these is actual aphobia, hm?

Should have started with this but, yknow, it's too late for that now- ehem, 

Hi! I'm Astro, a aceflux lesbian who struggles with hypersexuality. I, personally, am actually really uncomfortable with people making Moon not aroace and shipping him, even in aus. Im uncomfortable with them even making him not repulsed most of the time. What do I do though? I dont harass people. I just don't interact with the content!

And I have no problem with people making Nexus not repulsed/aroace. Why?? Because canonical hes confused and unsure about if he's aroace or not! And I know a lot of people on the ace and aro spectrum(s), including me, can relate to that feeling. The unsureness of if you are, and even if you know you are, not knowing where you are in the spectrum. I personally love making Nexus somewhere along the lines of demi or gray, because that would add more representation! Especially with Old Moon back now, we have our repulsed rep. That doesn't mean they can't both be repulsed! I'm just saying that having another character be another side of the spectrum (whether its non-repulsed aroace, demiaroace, demiaro and alloace, etc.) Would be nice. 

Personally, I've been tempted to make an au where Nexus started experimenting with sex and it starts clogging his mind. Because I enjoy his character, and I want to project my own experiences onto his character. There's nothing wrong with it?? Self inserting into canon characters is a tale as old as time, just as old as ocs.

There is literally nothing wrong with wanting to have more representation or have a character that represents you. That isn't ace or aro phobic- i don't get how people don't understand that. I know multiple aroace people who like dating, or who are dating. I also know aroace people who just like qprs and can't stand dating. I know aroace people who have been confused and have fluctuated with their sexuality as I've known them, trying to figure themselves out. There are different types, and people want to see themselves in a character that is similar to them. Whats wrong with that?

Now, I am not defending the people who constantly are like "well aroace people can date too", completely ignoring the fact that some are repulsed. I'm not defending the people that say that whenever you mention that a character doesn't like to date because they're repulsed. I've seen it happened to people who literally have aus and are talking about their versions if the character and how they never want to date, and people say that. It's fucking annoying. And ya, pretty aphobic.

But non-repulsed aroace people saying that about their own au versions of characters isn't the same thing. Defending their headcanons of a character because it helps them better connect to it isn't the same thing- im like, so confused about how we don't understand this already??

Another this is- and I can't believe I have to say this -can we NOT fucking harass people??? Like holy shit why do I have to say this?

Yes, this includes people who support terrible things. This includes people who just don't like the same things as you. Yes, this includes people that don't like you.

Because, fun fact, that just makes the situation worse. Someone saying something bad about somebody, and then a bunch of people swarming them and telling them their wrong, isn't going to change their mind. It'll actually just make them have an even more negative view of the person.

Now, spreading awareness about a person who is actively harassing people is different. But that also doesn't mean you should see that awareness and go harass that person. Again, its going to make it worse.

Instead, report. Block. Do whatever you can to keep yourself and others safe. Please don't harass people though. Please.

And yes holy shit this includes if they ship things you don't like! Holy fuck why do I even have to say this- if you disagree with someone, block them. Don't fucking spread rumors. You fucking people keep complaining about all the discourse and then attack shippers. What the fuck?? Stop it. The ones you are attacking don't even do shit, they're just chilling. Some people Eccpecially!! I feel bad about mentioning directly, but people like @/kuuchaos and @/zthesheep (not tagging because I don want to bother them and also im a coward. Wishing them all the support in the world tho) haven't even done anything! They're just getting harassed because they're associated with people these harassers don't like.

Hell, i- who has barely done anything but support people -am terrified of getting harassed. Because I'm associated with these "big blogs", I'm at risk of being harassed. Its ruining my mental health, which was just finally getting better- its frustrating. I literally had to take a break from tumblr because I was so anxious, and I felt sick to my stomach and was shaking a bit. I just want to make friends and have fun and post art, but I'm scared of being yelled at literally becuas elf people who I associate myself with.

I know im at risk just because I'm mutuals with two of these blogs. Just because I post and reblog ship things, and reblog things from these "big blogs". Im- augh. I luckily haven't been harassed, and have blocked the harasser in question, but that doesn't stop the crippling anxiety of the fact that i may be in the future. That's not okay. Its awful that this fandom is so fucked up that people who havnt even done shit are afraid of being harassed- or are actually being harassed!

Can I remind everybody that the VAs literally asked everyone not to harass each other and to just chill out? Sure, I'm all for death of the author, but thats not what that is. You can't just take canon and use it to harass people, but completely ignore the people who made that canon. That's fucked up. Either ignore canon all together, or listen to the VAs. Either you, you have no reason to harass people.

Anyway, I hope soon we can all be a lot nicer to each other. Seriously, I dont care about disagreeing with ships. I dont even think we should all be friends, im not a fucking elementary school teacher. But I think we should all at least be respectful to each other and not literally harass and send fucking gore to people. Eccpecially fuckimg CHILDREN like im sorry whos idea was that?? Those gore anons need to be put in prison because that is one of the most disgusting things I've heard in a fandom- and I've been in some pretty horrific fandoms (*cough*dsmp*cough*)

So uhm- yeah

Please dont harass me for speaking out against harassment, like seriously. I'm not promoting harassment or aphobia, or incest or anything. Especially grooming, considering i may have been groomed by one of my friends in 3rd grade??? Idk, the more you know-

Im also not inviting an argument. Please dont argue with me, please. Or even disagree with me in reblogs or comments or tag me or anything. It may seem childish, but I instinctively want to argue back and I just want to avoid that. Please.

But yeah, let's just be decent to each other pls. Use that nifty block button more, please and thank you <3

(THIS WAS NOT REREAD OR EDITED! plus I was having extreme pain at the end cause of cramps- and I was emotional and frustrated at the beginning. So this all may be a bit incoherent/rude, but im trying

Again, please don't harass me- especially over me talking about my hypersexuality and things- its hard for me and personally <3)

[nevermindirah]

fic writer interview! thanks @energievie for tagging me as part of your lovely annual tradition! tagging @sindirimba @gaal-dornick @laviejaguardia @sweetwithheatwriting @mongoose-bite @what-alchemy if any of y'all feel like it <3

How many works do you have on AO3?

40

What’s your total AO3 word count?

268,965

What are your top 5 fics by kudos?

problem solved it's dissolved (my first BoN fic! my first ever smut!) My Bags Are Packed (I'm Not Ready to Go) (my first Nile & Booker fic!) I See Your Eyes Seek a Distant Shore (my 65k BoN epic with like another 10k+ in footnotes) Imagine Your Dessert Platter (cute lil SamSteve au! ahhhhh I love this fic it's aging so well) Seneca Falls Selma and Stonewall (MCU ensemble / stucky, spiritual predecessor to ISYESADS but full of things that in hindsight I would've written very differently)

Do you respond to comments? Why or why not?

always! I love the back-and-forth of comments, on my fics and others'. what a lovely way to get to know people and talk more about our blorbos and learn things about writing. and as much as I love to get wordy in comments, I also treasure the keysmashes and emojis and respond in heartfelt kind.

What’s the fic you’ve written with the angstiest ending?

yeah I don't really do angst

What’s the fic you’ve written with the happiest ending?

any ending where our main characters are in love and getting a good night's rest

Do you write crossovers?

sometimes! I have several crossovers among my wips but I don't seem to have finished any… yet

Have you ever received hate on a fic?

many many years ago on what in retrospect was an undertagged and poorly considered mess of a Spuffy fic

Do you write smut? If so, what kind?

Sure do >:))))))))))))

Have you ever had a fic stolen?

no thank you!

Have you ever had a fic translated?

no but that would be so cool!

Have you ever co-written a fic before?

yeah! a few times now!

What’s your all-time favorite ship?

Book of Nile <3333333333333

What’s a WIP that you want to finish but don’t think you ever will?

Eartha Grit 😭😭😭😭 drag queen Sam Wilson!!! will the planets ever align so that I can finish this? 😭

What are your writing strengths?

I have them! can't think of specific ones right now

What are your writing weaknesses?

various writing skills etc etc but above all EXECUTIVE FUNCTION DEFICIT MY BELOATHED

What are your thoughts on writing dialogue in other languages in a fic?

I have a thousand-word essay in me about this which I may sit down to write and post eventually. short version, the role of "other" languages in my own day to day speech is significantly different from how most characters in fics would experience "switching" languages, and my thoughts on this in fic are changing as I think more about that and where the line is between that and Gratuitous Foreign Language TM

What was the first fandom you wrote for?

Buffy

What’s a fandom/ship you haven’t written for yet but want to?

a certain crossover that has been in my wips for TWO YEARS now! it would be not only my first time writing this ship but the first time anyone has posted this ship to ao3! unless of course someone beats me to it, in which case I will be very enthusiastically 👀 about theirs while continuing to work on my own.

what ship might this be? Meeka/Vincent from Coming 2 America and Disorder respectively >:)

What’s your favorite fic you’ve written

Not a Gentle Laughter continues to be the fic I go back to for comfort. off the charts Jewish Booker feels with a happy ending because BoN are both in love and in political solidarity, so of course it is, you can't get more me than that.