#I feel like such a shaking rat...
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#vent#I feel like such a shaking rat...#he's tired from baby sitting and I don't wanna bother him#but my brain is convinced every action is bothering him#I wanna talk about yesterday I wanna talk about how bad I've been doing#but I don't wanna pile more onto him#he's already overwhelmed#and I wanna cuddle up to him but he smells like some hellish mix of chemicals and essential oils from there#and he doesn't have the energy to shower yet and that's fine!!#but it means I can't cuddle him#I can't bare the smell#I feel so touch starved but there's nothing to really be done about it?#I feel starved for everything#but I'm in such a state of continuous panic that I feel bad for wanting those things#I can't calm down no matter what I do#and every time I want to ask him if he has any idea how to help my throat closes#I can't burden him further--that's the thought that keeps coming back#I can't be a burden but I know I'm not one but the thoughts don't connect#they fight each other for dominance and the liar always wins...#I feel so bad...#and that doesn't help#it's a loop of negative feedback generated entirely in my own head#I hate myself sometimes#I suppose this is also a crash#I hate this#delete later
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Day 163 | id in alt
Nanami is so resolute in what he believes it's actually astounding how he didn't get to have a proper conversation with Kugisaki.
#dailykugisaki#jjk#kugisaki nobara#nanami kento#I FUCKING FORGOT HOW TO DRAW NANAMIS HAIR IM BAWLINGGG#BOY HOW YOU HAIR#I WAS TWEAKIN AND DISTRACTED YHE ENTIRE TIME DOING THIS BUT OFC THE NANAMI HAD TO KICK IN#i would rather die than mischaracterize what he would say#that is the main man himself#i have a video playing on repeat in my head rn its so bad im spinning in circles#WHAT MADE UP LORE DOES TO A BITCH MAN ITS ABYSMAL#i feel like that sopping wet shaking rat thats rotting in the back of my saves gifs#self motivation is loud screaming at a mirror
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The trans experience of getting lucky with a new primary care provider who doesn't care about your transness or transition so long as you're getting the proper care
Manifesting this for every trans person because I finally felt like a normal human being going to a doctor
#trans#transgender#lgbt#lgbtq#ftm#mtf#nonbinary#transphobia#transphobia tw#i have avoided doctors for like... four years now because of how awful they are toward trans people 🤩 (sarcastic star-eyes emoji)#i thought i didn't have anxiety anymore until i made a first appointment with this new primary care provider i have...#...and when they were doing my vitals and got to the blood pressure screen i was shaking (which i normally am tbf)#i will be fair and say i have had more negative experiences with mental health providers though#but since i've avoided doctor-doctors i haven't had the time TO have negative experiences#my dad was actually really kind and asked if my doctor tried being transphobic and i realized... NO! he didn't even try!#my dad's first question was if dr. [redacted] tried to talk me out of testosterone and i was like shit... no he didn't!!#and i felt like a normal person seeing the doctor albeit with a lot of anxiety but i was treated normally :)#it feels SO nice after feeling like a lab rat or like in the movies where a psychiatrist comes out to explain what transsexuality#explain what transsexuality is*
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ok im real fucking pissed bcuz i had to block a follower but just in case u dont know im anti-israel i hate israel omg get out of here if u like it fuck israel and the idf and i don’t stand with israel and get out of here if you do i think you’re fucking scum if you stand with israel get gone get out youre blocked youre blocked youre blocked
#im losing my mind#was about to @ them because i genuinely want war with all these pro-israel fuckers#you can sympathise with the suffering of civilians but the second you start tagging pro-idf propaganda ur done#they post nextgen content too so just be aware of who you follow yall#harry potter#hp#hp nextgen#hp next gen#hpng#hpcc#rewriting#see i couldve put ‘pro-israel DNI’ in my bio but i dont feel like it fully encapsulates the full body-shaking rage them rats inflict upon me
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Made myself ill im so scared of new job. Starts in am. Tarot said itd be fine and my gf thinks itll go fine but im still scared like a bird stuck in a building it didnt mean to go into
#em yaps#there should be a scared shaking wet rat emoji#or anscared bird shooting off feathers. bird hitting a glass door emoji#i didnt even finish my sketchbook#today we just did chores and i tried to forget i was scared#itll happen whether im ready or not but i AM ready and itll go GOOD#i am happy i got this opportunity and im going to be a perfect fit and#i wish i was a mean faced man who felt self assured for no reason at all. strong childhood with high self esteem. im going to pretend#until i feel like its fine#it WILL be fine
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I never feel more like my father than when im doing conflict resolution. 5'1 but somehow get everyone to listen to me. Insane.
#my step mom says its because when we get serious we get 'crazy eyes'#which like my dads taller and bigger so like okay makes sense#but i feel like when i step up like that people ahould be like “whys the shaking rat talking”#but no somehow it always works its kinda funny#anyway i just dog trained three contractors and a manager
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very Bowie Riddler (to the extent u could be forgiven for thinking it is him, based on a MWFTE scene), but here we have a Riddler fresh out of Arkham in his really cool disguise of a coat that's too big for him and sunglasses at night
this is how Query and Echo first encountered him and he looked exactly like a wet rat pup so they couldn't not take him home and give him a cereal packet with a crossword on the back to make him feel welcome
#riddler#edward nygma#riddler pi au#gouache painting#look at his stupid hair#thomas newton causes similar wet rat pup feelings in me#i want to shake such characters like a sheet of polythene and listen to wobbly noises they make
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There are two people who Brook is eternally indebted towards to a degree that he knows well he would never be able to repay, no matter how many times he may die with his life dedicated towards them. First being Luffy, of course.
While he’s well aware of the entire crew’s contributions, it’s Luffy to whom he pledged his second life to. Luffy had given him back everything. He’d given him back the sun, and with that, hope. Luffy had gave him back his shadow, had offered him a new home, and above all, told him that Laboon waited still. Nothing about that day was any less than a miracle, and Brook knows he would never be able to give to Luffy the same life that his captain gave to him, but his soul be damned if he would do his best to pay back even an ounce of it.
The second person is, beyond shadow of a doubt, Crocus. Crocus had been a true friend in those three months the Rumbar Pirates had spent at the Twins Cape. They’d gotten along well, and Brook had been thrilled when the man was willing to look after Laboon for a few years. Though he’d never once truly doubted the man’s integrity, Brook still knew that — as time had passed in the fog — caring for a full grown whale, at the entrance to the Grand Line no less, was an incredibly taxing request to honor, and one he’d never wanted to have asked from the doctor. To learn that Crocus, after all this time, was still caring for Laboon, and to learn that Crocus had set sail in hopes to find them, it would have broken his heart from joy and guilt, had he still had one. He owes Crocus a debt he could never hope to make up for for having cared for Laboon for all these years, though he can hope to — at the very least — apologize with all his soul for their deaths and delay once their paths can finally crossed again once more.
#[ headcanon ] ─ ♪ 《 the time sweeps my mind 》#[ talked ab b4 but thinks a normal amount of how brook still kind of feels like he Has to do something for the crew#[ and just. general his views of crews vs his role within it feels he's lacking but still does what he can bc he owes it to them#[ on top of genuinely caring for ofc but just thats a whole nother post dsks#[ just!!!!#[ thinks a lot ab how brook feels like he knows he can never make it up to luffy and crocus....#[ and just!! thinks a normal amount ab crocus....#[ CROCUS....#[ me writing roger and brook (n yorki but less relevant) and just rat shakes funky doctor........#[ crocus mvp fr..... caring for laboon for 50+ years..... slams fist on floor#[ i am so very normal ab things that happened pre-canon#[ and the way it impacts canon
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Roger is sooo,,,
#[ ooc ] ✧〖 bid farewell to weaver’s town 〗#tbd.#[ i have been So sleep deprived this week so continues to ramble gjskg#[ but just!!! !!!!!#[ at roger and love again just rat shakes#[ he loves so god damn brightly and purely and wholly#[ he'd move the sun and stars for those he loves#[ he loves Soo sincerely and selfishly#[ but in a warm way fr#[ freedom and love incarnated real...#[ i have So many thoughts n feelings ab roger and his love for life and his friends#[ and how that love ends up hurting those he loves Bc he's destined to leave them by dying first and and and----#[ leaves a mark on everyone he loves pirate king fr#[ anyway always feel free to hmu/send smnth if interested in relationships/pre-est/etc— gskkgkd#[ admittedly. Still not fully online/back bc ogh. Busy#[ but holds roger gently and shakes like rat#[ platonic romantic or secret third things he Loves™ and i think its neat#[ rambles brought to you by Very normal feelings ab roger and rayleigh again—#[ they were Partners...
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thinks ab them.... sengoku/garp....
#{ ooc } ✗ 「 WENP reporter 」#[ everyone asleep time to think ab old men holding hands----#[ continues to think of them in the context of one sided for majority of their careers#[ sengoku recognizing feelings but recognizing that they're approach to their jobs are too different / it would be too much of a distraction#[ so saying nothing#[ and garp just utterly oblivious / never rly thinking about it because they're friends / has no understanding of romance#[ everyone in marineford wondering if they're official or not.....#[ tsuru isn't paid enough for any of this#[ acting like bickering husbands and yet </3#[ knowing each other morals/stances clash but still caring deeply for each other and being there when they can be for each other#[ the fleet admiral and the hero of the marines#[ rat shaking it all#[ don't think anything would rly work until like after sengoku retires but thinks ab it...#[ slow burn material----#[ dshjsdlk#[ sighs#[ head in hands i want to write So bad but the energy... has not been.....#[ tryin to get something done for the roger pirates week thing n got drafts but struggling to finish anything </3#[ january isn't real it can't hurt me---#[ anyway if anyone ever picks up sengoku as a muse--- /lh /lh
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I look at Cylva and whatever part of the brain that makes me get obsessed with side characters starts whirring like an overheating laptop
#ff14#ffxiv#cylva#ffxiv cylva#digital#doodle#glad i finally went back and did my ShB roles#meeting her and learning her story feels like unlocking the secret character on the fighting game roster#or the secret route in a dating sim that only unlocks after doing all the others and turns the whole thing upside down#am now shaking like a little rat dog at the idea of her and unukalhai#and possibly the bounty hunters#being relevant in all this void stuff in MSQ
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Finished my isat playthrough. 💥💥💥
#rat rambles#stars posting#I didn't get to do everything I was planning on doing but I have no regrets god acts 5 and 6 are so fucking good#almost cried like 20 times despite the fact I've watched all this a billion times already lol#although I did get to see a Lot more dialogue than other ppl usually find so that can be my reason#always gotta tripple check everything you never know#also I feel bad for neglecting the doll through my run examining it in act 6 nearly made me cry my eyes out#Im sorry bestie I just didn't feel like going back to dead end rooms over and over again#maybe next run lol#if I do a second playthrough I wanna do it on pc tho I need those achievements#but yeah shakes siffrin violently and slams them into a comfy bed#also me looking at odile and going tee hee (<- thinking abt au stuff)#Ill engage in the horrors later rn Im going to drink some water and appreciate this very good video game
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I just got a Charley Horse in my fucking neck. What the actual hell.
#I couldn’t move my head and it hurt so fucking bad I couldn’t breathe and that was triggering a panic attack#but I was trying to stay calm and wake up my husband but I could barely move and he was asleep and so he wasn’t hearing me#so he got jabbed in the ribs (couldn’t see where I was poking) with my pointy ass elbow#I feel really bad how I woke him up#my anxiety from that is making me shake like a tiny rat dog
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every time someone draws klavier gavin with short hair an angel loses its wings
#🎸me#i'm being dramatic#but STIIILL#let me have my wonderful locks...#again if any klavs see this and they cut their hair. good for them /gen#i just feel like that rat that shakes its fist in anger when i see short hair bc its like#i have a severe case of my canonitis#aceattorneykin#rambling
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Traitors Among Us
SIMON 'GHOST' RILEY x Fem!Reader Task Force 141 x Fem!Reader (Platonic)
PART 2
Part Three: The Guilty Plea
Part Four: The Verdict Due
Summary: You're a rat, a traitor. At least that's what Task Force 141 believes due to the evidence and claims scattered against you. It doesn't matter what you say, everyone's against you, ready to end you for it...until the truth comes out.
Warning(s): Torture, Heavy Angst, etc.
If you liked this would you Buy my a Coffee?
---
Drip.
Drip..
Drip...
Your shoulders seize up involuntarily as freezing droplets continue to hit your skin, eyes squeezed shut to try to ignore the sound that had been going on for who knows how long.
Another drop of water hits your spine from the faucet placed above you, it's cold as it runs down your bare skin. It feels like ice. Hitting the same spot over and over and over...
Drip...
Not even able to take a deep breath, you release a strained cry, it can hardly leave you, not that you hadn't cried enough already. You could feel the dried blood, tears and snot still on your face and a testament to your torment. You haven't been able to get the metallic taste of your blood of of your mouth since you got in here.
You breathe slowly, trying to relieve the pain in your chest. Body positioned downwards, chest pressed down to your knees, a leather buckle holds you down and over a metal stool. Wrists torn open by old shackles and stretched upwards to connect to the steel pipe in the middle of the room.
The stress position had been Johnny's idea, putting you in it to begin with. The bastard...
Kyle had been in and out to collaborate with Price on the interrogation, he didn't have the heart to do you any harm like his Captain. But, that didn't stop him from stomaching your screams as he turned the handle up, piercing cold crashing down atop you, it beats down on your back, by the time it's done your shaking, and your skin a bruising purple hue. It goes on like that for hours, even as you beg. He reads you the files again.
Price would then take the baton from the corner of the room, the side of your face already swollen from the last strike, you were seeing red out of your left eye and soon you wouldn't be able to see out of it if the swelling continued.
"Please..." you shivered, miserably.
"Over in a jiff, love, but i need somethin' from you, you know that." Was his reply, he tapped the baton against the metal below you, the reverb makes you jump each time, leaving you to stare at it as you watched his boots walk around you.
"Cap'n, It's not...It's not--me..." you tried, breathless. "I'd never.."
The steel baton came down on your shoulder, first. There was an immediate response from your constricted muscles, limbs that had all tensed up at once despite their numbness. Pulling at the shackles that kept you in place, the hit shocks you, nearly silencing you completely, it hurts, then it burns. Mouth open in a silent scream, you squeeze your eyes shut in an effort to block out the pain that crawled through your shoulder. "It's not me!"
You've been suffering from hypothermia for a few days since then. Your shoulder crushed right out of place or just plain broken, you weren't sure. It's not like you could feel much of your arms in this position.
It hurt. Not just the painful strain that this position was currently putting on your muscles, but everything else...
Of course, you've handled torture alike this before. Captured and tortured by enemies, ransomed for pay and fought tooth and nail to live, then found your way from that hell...only for the men who you'd kill for, to do the same thing to you with no remorse.
In the quiet of the empty room, you sobbed in agony. Squeezing your fists, but you couldn't even feel them, as far as you knew your fingers could only twitch in response to your demand.
You weren't sure what you were doing here.
Well, you knew. There was a mole, all evidence pointing to you, whatever it was had completely stunted their mission earlier in the week, left them hiding in a safe house for days until they were picked up by evac. Apparently, you'd leaked mission details to some hostiles over seas, you weren't sure which ones, they were hoping you could tell them. You had absolutely nothing, lost.
Of course, they didn't believe you. Although you expected to have at least a sliver of trust, someone to speak up against these claims and believe you...
It must've been too much to ask.
It came out of nowhere, at first you had been in bed with Simon, your fucking Fiancé, then that meeting with Price, then just...they'd cornered you in that room. Knocked you out without even an explanation, woke you up strapped down, confused, stripped of your uniform and feral as you demanded answers. Nobody listened to you.
That first night you thought you were gonna die. The second night you thought you had. The third night you were just convinced this was your hell.
You were soaked to the bone, and unable to stop shivering. The only sound you could hear was your own chattering teeth in this never-ending void of darkness.
It was so fucking dark in here, your eyes darting around to every corner, hoping for even a measly crack of light that your eyes could adjust to. Every sound, scratch, scrape or click made you jump, you couldn't see shit in here, so just about everything made you hyper aware. You couldn't help your anxiety as the sound of the faucet, the constant drops against your spine, the jingle of your shackles and the whimpers that echoed against the walls as you struggled to comfortably breathe. Maybe it was the thought of a mouse crawling up the stool and along your skin, or someone in here just staring at you in the corner, or the door finally opening for Price to start slicing into you demanding answers you didn't have.
You were on the cusp of losing your mind. If you hadn't already.
But it's been a few hours since then...
Maybe even a few days...
It could even have been a week.
You weren't too sure.
Simon had been the last one in here. He'd pulled the strap loose around your neck, hauling you up to an upright position by your jaw, eliciting a whimper from your lips. Able to breathe a bit easier, your lungs finally decompressing and you gulp down air greedily, "Simon..." this had been the first time you'd seen him since. He wears his balaclava, he is Ghost, not your Simon Riley.
As your bloodshot, swollen eyes raise to look into his cold ones, so unfeeling. You hadn't even realized you were so hopeful for his trust in you until then, looking at you like you were absolutely nothing to him, the same look he always had before pulling the trigger. "Simon, please, stop this..." your words slurred by your shivering, exhausted. "You know me...please."
Your tears slide over the leather of his gloved hands, while he holds tight to your face and cuts your pleads short with a painful squeeze. "Shut up," he says. His eyes are blank, but his voice is low and seething. "Shut the fuck up!" Simon harshly grits out to you, jostling you harshly. You squeeze your eyes shut, weeping miserably, throat closing up to your agony.
He had to know that you would've never done this to him. He should've known that. Given you the benefit of the doubt at least. You'd have never done this to him...
"I'm sorr-" you try, he squeezes harder to silence you swiftly, and snatches a tiny bowl off the tray he'd brought in. Raising your jaw a bit higher, he pours down a chunky broth into your mouth, letting it all just fall down to your throat. It's disgusting. He doesn't ease up for even a second as you toss and turn your head to breathe.
"Don't say a fucking word," he seethes, his hand enveloping your neck and keeping your head raised upward. "As if I should believe you..."
He then takes the next cup to do the same, your eyes bloodshot wide and you jerk away from him as you choke, unable to stomach anything, but he doesn't let you. This time you inhale accidentally, blocking your airway, eyes watering as you writhe for oxygen, your shackles clang violently as you attempt to retaliate, the first fight you've put up in days. His grip doesn't let up, even as you struggle and start to vomit up whatever he decided to shove down your throat.
When he finally lets go, you curve over and heave up whatever's left in your mouth, hyperventilating as you empty your guts on the floor. Hacking up whatever you can, it hurts, your throat burning from the sobs that leave you in between coughs. "If you love me, if you--ever had--" you spat at him. You'd given him everything, every part of yourself, nearly given him your life in the battlefield, and yet...it wasn't enough. "You would fucking believe me!" your voice cracks with the effort it takes to scream at him, to curse him to hell.
"My trust? That's what you want," Hollow eyes stare back at you, his attention flickering around to the uncomfortable shift of your shoulders in those cuffs. Your swollen left eye that had been hit so hard, the white of it had filled with blood. The black and blue littering your sides and your spine, the loss of color in your skin from the stress position and the cold that had you uncontrollably shivering. "You've had it before. You must've sold that to them too."
Your head drops to the stool again, releasing a heavy breath. "It wasn't worth much, if it was so easy to lose..."
Usually it's not very easy to set Simon off, you've known him always to be quite mellow, besides the barely concealed rage he had settled in his chest since you've known him. But, today, you were an exception.
Fisting a hand in your hair, Simon yanks at it, pulling you upwards for your to face him. His other hand coming up to wrap around your throat before your tortured scream can even manifest. In that moment, it feels as if he'd snapped your spine in half, having not used the muscles to stretch that area in over a week. Your shackled wrists shifting in the cruel position.
His eyes are wild and rageful, the balaclava that covers him twists just the same, his grip very telling to his violence as he squeezes down any chance at air or even a sentence. "Easy to lose..." he repeats, spitting in your face as he strangles you. "Easy t'lose your life! If you don't tell me the fucking truth," he pulls out the knife you'd seen him slit so many throats with before, you hear the familiar sound of it first then its cold steel pressing into the side of your ribs. "I'm gonna carve out your heart, and I'll take it real slow, let you feel every little thing I do to you in here," he shakes you harshly as a startled cry escapes you, your tears are burning hot against your cheeks. "You don't get to cry. Or whine. Or beg!"
"Stop--" you try to squirm away from him, to get as far away as possible, from this place, from this moment.
"Just tell me the truth," Simon's face twisted in agony, for just a second, his thumb drags along your jaw, meaningfully. "You'd be doing us both a favor..."
As his vast hand finally loosed around your neck just enough to hold you up, awaiting the bitter truth. Simon's knife catches on the protrusion of your ribs, nicking the skin, drawing blood on purpose. You stare up at the ceiling, the flickering old lights, the dripping faucet that's tormented your already fragile state for weeks now. "The truth..." you spoke, hoarsely. "You've all shown me...it doesn't matter to you. If it ever... Believe what you want--" you close your eyes, you're exhausted. Sleep had evaded you for days. "You and your truth and this team, you can all go to hell."
And finally he lets you go, letting your fall forwards, unable to find the relief of a cold floor but back to the strenuous position you'd been placed in. "AH!" nearly popping your shoulders out of place, or maybe they had, you bite down on your tongue, shaking in silence.
If you could see Simon's face, you could've relished in the uncertainty flickering in his eyes, the sudden doubt that led his knife back in its holder and his nails to bite into the flesh of his palms. He opens his mouth to say something, but nothing leaves him, instead he stands there.
You can't say a thing to him now, everything that's happened was just a little reminder that whatever you said, whatever you did, it didn't matter. Their minds had already been made. You really would die here.
Simon stands there a little longer, he doesn't say anything, you're not sure if he stays there to watch your suffering a little longer or to wait to say another heart-wrenching thing. Maybe he's just there to wait for you to die. But, he just watches as you wretch and cry in a ball atop that stool.
He leaves not long after, he didn't bother to strap you down this time. He left the old light on, but it must've been older than you thought.
The single bulb fizzled out completely hours ago. Not unless one of them decided to cut the silence and turn on the light to start another 'questioning', so suddenly being able to see more than darkness wasn't anything to be excited about.
They'd leave you in the dark until then, to await the next moment any of them would grace you with their presence.
To be honest, you'd imagined you'd be stronger than this. But, there was nothing to hold onto, so what did strength matter?
It was too late anyway.
They'd broken you days ago.
---
The truth had come out, two days later.
"Oh god..."
"Oh my fucking God," Simon rushed down the corridor, Price tailing right behind him. "Oh my God!" his normal monotone voice now a mess of fear and panic, breathing harsher, on the cusp of hyperventilating with every stride as he ran faster than he ever had in his life.
Finally getting to the interrogation wing of the department, he bangs his fist on the plexiglass of those silently monitoring the rooms, "Open the fucking door!" he's buzzed in before he can pull on the handle another time.
Rushing down the hall to the now green lit room, lights flickering to life with every step closer down the hall of empty rooms. He nearly rips the door off its hinges as he bursts inside, the lights of the your tiny prison don't come to life as they should. Light spilling into the cell, to hit your limp figure first.
He doesn't deserve to say your name. "(Y/n)," Simon rushes over, to his knees instantly. A puddle of vomit, water and spoiled broth soaks through his uniform.
"I'm sorry! I'm sorry," he sobs out his mistakes, unhooking your chains and cutting through your buckles as fast as he could. "Oh my god, I'm sorry. I'm so sorry!" he catches his fiancé as you collapse, turning over and off the stool, your legs having lost all sense of feeling. You fall into his arms, catching you carefully. "Price!" he cries out, desperately.
"They're on the way!" Your captain assures, he sees the medical team rushing down the hallway, a stretcher, a box of medical supplies. Christ.
You're freezing to the touch, your skin a hue of blue, not to mention the bruises, the cuts and the swollen areas throughout your face and spine. You suddenly inhale, sharply, coughing terribly. You're sick, breathing shakily, "Simon...?" you breathe, confused. You can't see. Your eyes swollen shut from your torture at their hands.
"It's me, it's me," Simon assured, although he knew it probably brought you no comfort. He snatches the blanket offered up by Price, your captain a mess of himself, holding himself together at the doorway, nails biting into the steel.
As Simon wraps you in the first glimpse of warmth you've had in days, you ease up a bit, fingers twitching upwards to pull the threads closer around yourself. "It wasn't..." you shiver, Simon listens intently as he rises with you in his arms, running off to meet the medical team halfway. "It wasn't me..." you gasp out. "It wasn't..."
Simon can't say a thing as he hears your tormented voice stutter in fear of him, lips pressed tight together, heart sinking and as the nurses take your body, he collapses to his knees.
Part 2
#simon ghost riley#simon riley x reader#ghost x reader#simon ghost riley x reader#simon ghost x reader#cod x reader#ghost x yn#call of duty x reader#cod angst#simon riley angst#ghost angst#simon riley angst x reader
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part 2 lol
so apparently it's really fucking hard to get into the SAS. and ontop of that I've been getting tiktoks of people going around an army base asking why they joined. most responses were to pay off student loans, bills, school, (someone said there's was 6 years of prison or school and *mental note for idea*), the recruiter lied or spoilt them, barracks bunny.
141 (poly?) x notsobaddasssoldier!reader
and now i can't stop thinking of soldier!reader. who really half-assed their way through everything - only doing the job for the money and to pay off student loans + they had nothing better to do.
who somehow ends up being adopted by Price (kinda like Gaz i guess ???) all because reader happened to be in the right place at the right time and saved Price's ass while managing to complete a mission the Task Force were doing.
and it's not that you saved his ass or completed the mission that makes Price go *this is mine* - it's the fact that afterwards all you can say is-
"this shit is so not worth paying off my student loans."
"oh fuck i forgot to cancel my subscription. fuckk- waste of fucking money"
- all the while a building is burning in front of you but yeah just not at all concerned about what had just happened. so price just *grabs you by the back of your neck and holds you up, claiming you as part of his task force now.*
(lol you probably can't do that irl but this is fiction sooo suck my ass.)
and laswell's just like no... they are very much still green john. way too green. no.
but it's too late. he's already introducing you to the task force. singing your praises and you're just like
"man he promised to pay off my student loans and give me food." basically how ur recruiter got ya ass.
enough said. you get the whole off the books speech, saving the world by doing things others wouldn't like. but u couldn't give a rats ass - you should but nah...
and like... you know you're the rookie... you're still green... but some of the shit 141 do you just...
"so you just gonna kidnap the wife AND the child...? right... kid, you wanna watch bluey? here..."
"and you do this often...? crazy."
but you don't exactly protest. how could you with how much you get paid. you kinda just side-eye and look away when it's geta a lil crazy. *bombastic side-eye*
and the other 141 guys - oh my days. become just as enormed as price and want to start really trying to amplify your skills. but every time, they start explaining how to do things - the best way to go about a situation or how to fight a certain way.
you pull this face. like your top lip pulls back, your eyebrows scrunch together, and there's a slight frown on your lips as they speak. like you look confused/disgusted. but you don't even realise cause-
"why're you pulling that face?" 141
"that's... that's just my focusing face..."
"oh..." 141 feels bad
then when they do take you in feild you're shaking your head no. like you haven't been around that long. what the fuck? now you're bout to infiltrate an enemy base!?!?!
"can i just wait in the car?"
"no." price
"i'm gonna vomit."
"aim at the enemy." ghost
people think that because you're suddenly in this badass task force that surely they're just using you for your assets.
they all think you're the 141 barracks bunny. and maybe you should be pissed or annoyed or grossed out. but all you can do is sigh and pause from the burger price got you, and let out a long exhale.
"fuck... maybe i can just do onlyfans or be a pornstar... shit maybe it's not too late..."
"military is bascially sex work - selling my body..."
"not that different from what i'm doing now. body being used, check. body sore in the strangest places, check."
your tone so empty, blank and nonchalant, but there's a serious look in your eyes that when you grab your phone out to maybe do a little research on how you could do that, your phone is snatched from your hand by one of the guys and they walk out the room without a second look back.
with an annoyed huff, you go back to eating your burger. but suddenly, you turn to the person who genuinely thought you were a barracks bunny.
"hey you think if i be a barracks bunny i get out of missions and shit?"
"...that's not how it works..." rando.
"fuck."
and maybe you try...
like you go to price's office and the guys are already in there, chatting about something that you should really pay attention too but you can't be assed. instead you unashamedly start to speak...
"if i suck ya'll dicks can i get out the mission?"
"no. you still have to join." gaz says amused
"even if you-" *que long sigh from price* "even if you suck our dicks."
"that's fucked up. i should've done porn."
and with the most hurt and broken-hearted look on your face, you leave the office, closing the door with a dramatic sigh. the guys just stare at the door in... confusion, amusement, and maybe arousal if ya'll dig that
idk man just gimmie more soldier!reader who just really ain't the fucked, there for money, lowkey hungry and doesn't know what the fuck is happening. kinda a pet or little sibling energy that the 141 love.
bonus*
"wait so they aren't sucking our dicks?" *soap says getting slapped in the back of the head by ghost
a/n: brain is rottinnggg. i should be doing so much other shit but... cod just consumes my brain 24/7
#my post#x reader#poly 141#poly 141 x reader#john price x reader#kyle gaz garrick#simon ghost riley#kyle garrick x reader#simon riley x reader#johnny mactavish#johnny mactavish x reader#johnny soap mactavish#captain price x reader#captain john price x reader#platonic 141#?#task force x reader#task force 141#platonic!141 x reader#boowrites#cod mwii#mwii#cod#simon riley#ghost x reader#kyle gaz garrick x reader#simon ghost riley x reader#cod mwii imagines
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