#I feel like no one likes me 💀😭 kinda sad but it’s true

[pastelpousay]

I’m too lazy to finish this butttt HERES THE ANGST (??) 😻😻

ALSO I LITERALLY TRIED TO POST THIS BUT MY SCHOOLS WIFI IS SO FUCK ASS BRO AND IT DELETED MY LAST DRAFT 😭😭

Anyways art taglist for cool ppl!!

@re3tro0 (the way you literally watched the progression of this lmaoo) @glacier-alchemist @maddieinheaven @delicatestringbean @persephoneflowerpetals @dreamwinged

[florida3exclamationpoints]

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[lixzey]

Hi again babe😊 So I thought of a request, it’s kinda long so I don’t mind if you want to put it off or something but here I go anyway.

Timmy is older than reader by quite a few years (no minors ofc💀) but they’re dating and Timmy starts to feel like he’s manipulating reader because of the age gap so he breaks up with her and is kinda mean to her. Reader is really sad cause she did love him and kinda throws herself at him. then one day she overhears him having sex with another girl and starts crying and he catches her and basically admits how he really felt bad. And then maybe makeup smut and fluff. 👍bye, happy Sunday💕

A/N: Changed it a bit, i hope it's alright! So far, this is the longest out of anything I've ever written. My first attempt at smut! This took me almost five hours to write 😭

wc: 3.4k

Info: angst, age gap, unprotected sex, oral male receiving, masturbation, read with caution

More Than Words.

Y/N loved Timothée more than anything in the world. Timothée was ten years older than her, but it didn't matter to her. The two were paired in a movie and sparks flew almost instantly. At first, Timothée was hesitant to pursue her, being older than her and all. But Y/N proved that age wasn't an issue between them, since they were both consenting adults, nothing was wrong with what they had. But being in his late thirties made him feel like he was using her. Timothée felt like he was manipulating her into being in a relationship with him. Y/N was all that he could ever want, but in the back of his mind, it felt too good to be true.

“Y/N, I don't want to do this anymore.” Timothée blurted out. He had taken Y/N to dinner at a fancy restaurant where there were a lot of people dining. 

Y/N stared at him, “What do you mean, love?”

“I want to break up, I want to end this.” Timothée said flatly, though it was more like he was trying to be intimidating—which he knew wouldn't work with her. 

Y/N was glaring at him, her (y/e/c) eyes were darkening at the sight of him, which made him feel genuinely scared of the younger woman in front of him.

“You took me out to a fancy place,” she said, looking around. “A very public place. Where I'm not allowed to scream at you without looking like a crazy bitch.” 

Timothée winced and looked down, reaching for the glass of red wine that was in front of him and drinking all of it in one go.

“You're smart, for taking me to a crowded place.” Y/N continued, her voice low, “I applaud you for that.”

“Y/N I—"

“I'm not stupid, Timothée,”Y/N snapped at him. “I know what you're doing, you fucker.”

“You're very young, younger than me . . . and . . .”

Y/N's eyes flashed dangerously, and Timothée knew immediately that he had said the wrong thing. 

“I'm going fucking punch your pretty face if you finish that motherfucking sentence.” Y/N growled. He believed her. Y/N L/N wasn't one to threaten a person, but when she did, she would absolutely hurt you. Timothée swallowed hard at the sight of the furious woman in front of him, who looked extremely sexy and made him want to kiss her hard and run his fingers in her long hair. 

Timothée did his best to look intimidating again, but he knew that it was pointless because this woman—who he dated for a year—knew him better than anyone else.  “Y/N, I don't want-” 

“You don't get to break up with me, Timothée Hal Chalamet.” Y/n shook her head defiantly. “You're not too old for me, you fucking shit! How many times have I told you-”

“I'm trying to do the right thing.” 

“Fuck that right thing bullshit, Timothée! We've been dating for almost a year and I've told you countless times, I don't care that you're older than me! I love you for you, not because of your age.” 

Timothée looked around, thankful that no one was paying them any attention. Still, a public display wasn't something that would do their careers good. Y/N being in love with her career, and living her dream. He wasn't going to let her throw her career away—her anger could be explosive, and that wasn't good if this conversation went south. He called the waiter and practically threw money at him, before grabbing Y/N's hand and pulling her out the establishment.

As soon as the two reached his car, he opened the door for the glaring woman. Timothée got in his car and drove back to Y/N's apartment. Once they arrived at her cozy apartment, Y/N had her arms crossed over her chest, glaring at him and waiting for him to explain. 

“I-uh-you're amazing, Y/N, really,” Timothée started, shifting slightly under her intense gaze, “But you deserve . . . you deserve—”

Y/N scoffed and rolled her eyes. “Someone younger? Someone more handsome? Someone who's not as thin as a stick?” 

“Yes! But hey! I am not as thin as a stick, thank you very much!” 

“I don't fucking care, Tim! I want you. I love you. Only you. Please don't do this.” 

“You deserve-”

Y/N closed the space between them and cupped his face, “I don't care what I deserve! I chose you, I made my goddamn choice to be with you, to be yours!” 

“No. No. You shouldn't have picked me, I don't deserve you. You're young, beautiful, and incredibly sexy which makes this so much harder.” Timothée insisted, gently removing her soft hands away from his face. He wanted nothing more than to pin her against the wall and fuck her senseless, but he didn't want to use her. This was already hard enough. Saying no to her took everything, and it was killing him to push her away. “You just don't know any better because we jumped right into this too fast, I manipulated you into this.” 

“What? You didn't fucking manipulate me Tim-”

“Yes, I did!” Timothée yelled, running his hands into his hair, “I manipulated you into being in a relationship with me! You didn't know any better!”

“Are you calling me stupid, Timothée Hal!?” Y/N snapped, “I chose to be with you-” 

“Maybe you are stupid! Stupid enough to fall for my bullshit!” 

“Timothée-” 

“You shouldn't have chosen me, hell,  we shouldn't have been together in the first place!” Timothée yelled, “I'm fucking thirty-eight, Y/N I'm two years closer to forty! And you're twenty fucking eight! Ten motherfuckimg years younger than me!”

“Tim, are you even hearing yourself!?” Y/N yelled back, poking his chest,  “You're fucking drowning in your insecurities!” 

Timothée looked straight into the eyes of the beautiful woman in front of him, “I just want you to be with someone who's better than me.” Timothée mumbled softly, nearly whispering as he looked down at his feet. He winced when she placed her hands on either side of his face. 

Y/N scoffed loudly. “Oh, please. You keep on thinking that you're not worthy, but you are. You are fucking worth it, worth all of the fucking things in this world.” She titled his head using her finger, making him face him. “I love you, Tim. I love you more than anything in this world. You aren't just some older guy,” Timothée winced when she said older guy, but she just chuckled, “You're mine.”

Timothée gazed into her eyes, seeing the soft look of love in them which made it much more difficult to leave her.

“You don't deserve an old man like me.” Timothée mumbled, averting his gaze away from her. 

Y/N stepped back, before sighing and pinching the bridge of her nose, “So you think just because you're older, I don't deserve you? You're going to just toss me to the side? Make it better for the both of us?” 

“Was hoping to.” Timothée mumbled. 

Y/N glared at him again. He was really pushing her buttons. She didn't give a damn that he was older, yet here he was, making a big deal of it like an idiot.

“You're a fucking idiot.” 

“I know, I'm an idiot for forcing you to be with me.” 

“If you say that you forced me, manipulated me, one more time, I swear to God I'm going to fucking break your jaw.” Y/N snapped, throwing him a threatening glare. Timothée fell silent, staring at her as the silence painfully wrapped them both. He was waiting for her to cry and hurt him, throw things at him, call him an asshole and slap him across the face, or literally anything. He was waiting for her to kick him out for breaking her heart or tell him she didn't even love him—even if it was a lie—anything. But she stood there, glossy eyed and fighting back tears. 

“Y/N, I-” 

“No. You're stuck with me, Timothée. I'm not going anywhere.”

Timothée sighed, this woman was going to be the death of him. She was absolutely stubborn, and could be a pain in the ass if she wanted to. “Y/N, you're being stubborn, love.” 

“Did I fucking stutter?” Y/N hissed, “I'm not going anywhere.” She enunciated each word as if he was a little kid or as if he was stupid. Maybe he was stupid. 

Timothée groaned, rubbing a hand over his face. “Y/N, please don't make this any more harder—”

“No.” Y/N outright refused. “Haven't you met me? I'm not letting you go just because you're insecure. I'm stubborn? Hell yes, I fucking am.”

Timothée mentally kicked himself. He should have expected it when she refused to let him break up with her, he knew she wouldn't go down without a fight, and nothing will be easy with this stubborn woman—his stubborn woman. Timothée shut his eyes tightly; just looking at her, fighting for him, was painful. “Y/N,you don't know . . . you don't know what you're saying.”

Suddenly, Y/N crashed her lips into his, taking him off-guard. Timothée shut his eyes tight as he felt his knees buckle at the touch of her lips. Her fingers weaved through his curls, making him moan. Before he had the chance to think, he had his fingers buried in her long hair as he pushed his tongue inside her mouth, taking dominance. She tasted like heaven and sin, he was addicted. 

Y/N moaned, the sound of her moans made him crazy, making his already throbbing cock painfully twitch inside of his jeans. It was usually him taking dominance, and she loved it. But now, it was Y/N taking charge as she shoved him against the door, and he loved it. His hands went down to her ass, taking in handfuls of it. How he wanted to rip the dress off her and just devour her. Her lips felt like drugs, pulling him in deep every time. And then he finally realized what his intentions really were. He practically threw her off of him, feeling guilty when she yelped because she fell onto the floor.

“I'm sorry. I . . . I have to go,” Timothée said in a panic and ran out of her apartment, with Y/N trailing behind him. 

“Tim! Please, don't leave me….” Y/N called out to him from the doorway, tears in her eyes. He turned back and watched the tears stream down her cheeks. Timothée felt his heart break, he was being an dick to the woman he loved. Even if it was cowardice, he turned his back on her and walked away. 

Y/N felt her heart shatter into a million pieces. The man she loved, the man she wanted to grow old with, left and broke her heart. She wanted to scream and shout, she wanted to trash her apartment in rage and heartbreak. How was she supposed to live without him? Her other half? Y/N fell onto her knees and cried her heart out. 

An hour later she tried calling him, but he wasn't answering. She tried leaving voice messages, begging him to think about it and come back to her. She cursed him, yelled, cried, for hours until her body gave out and finally passed out.

A week later, Y/N was still crying her heart out. She was still leaving Timothée messages, still begging him to come back. But still, he wasn't answering. Her friends were getting worried, leaving her texts and calls as well, but she didn't answer any of her friends' calls and texts. 

Meanwhile, Timothée was drinking his guilt away. He kept on repeating each and every one of Y/N's voice messages. Hearing her cry and begging for him to come back made his insides twist, but he just wished that she'd forget about him and move on. But there was a part of him that hated himself for breaking her heart and wanted nothing more than to rush back to her place and kiss her, hug her, apologize for being such a dick. He would be lying to himself if he said that he didn't want to be with her. He wanted to marry her, have a family with her. But his insecurities got the best of  him. The past year of being in a relationship with her was the best year of his life. He missed her terribly, but he fucked it all up. 

Timothée sighed, before lowering his boxers. He stroked his throbbing length as he moaned her name. 

“Oh fuck, Y/N, oh baby.” he moaned as he moved his hand up and down his cock, quickening his pace as he relived the memory of fucking her against the balcony of his home. Her body, he wanted to worship her again. Timothée wanted to suck on her breasts as he traced every curve of her perfect body. He thrust his cock in his hand, grunting when he wasn't satisfied. Timothée wanted to drive back to Y/N's place so bad, he wanted her tight pussy to clench around his cock and fuck ber until she was screaming his name and came around him. He would just have to settle for his hands for the time being then. He got his phone from his nightstand and opened his gallery. He clicked open his private album of photos of her that he had taken while and after they had sex. He settled on one where her breasts and face were covered in his cum. 

“Oh, Y/N, fuck!” he moaned as he came, the sticky substance covering his hands. 

Another week later, he couldn't take it anymore. He missed her badly. He missed her smiles, her laugh, her sass, her care, her love, he missed her. Not having her body, not hearing her moans, not having her pussy clench against his cock, made him crazy. Timothée buried his face in his pillow, two weeks without her was absolutely killing him. But his pride was making it harder than it already was.

Suddenly, there was a knock on his door. He got up, silently cursing whoever was knocking on his door at this hour. It was fucking midnight, and he wasnt't expecting anyone. He opened the door and his breath caught in his throat. 

“Hi.” Y/N's soft voice echoed in his ears. Her eyes were red and puffy, and her hair was a mess. She was wearing sweatpants and a shirt two sizes larger. “Can I come in? Or should…..should I just go?”

“Uh, yeah. Come in.” Timothée opened the door wider and stepped aside to make way. “How…how are you?” he asked, scratching the back of his head. 

“Shitty. Absolutely shitty.” Y/N muttered as she made her way to his living room. “You?” 

Timothée stiffened, should he admit that he missed her so bad and was an absolute dickhead for everything? He stared at her, she looked miserable. She looked thinner since two weeks ago, her eyes were dull and practically lifeless. Timothée felt his heart break even more, the woman he loved was miserable because of him. 

“It's bullshit.” 

Y/N smirked at him, “Easier, huh?” 

Timothée chuckled nervously, “Nope, it isn't.” The two of them locked eyes, and before they knew it, they were kissing each other with the passion that burned inside of them. His fingers ran through her hair as his tongue entered her mouth, savoring the addicting taste of her. Y/N pulled away, which made him whine at the feeling.  

“What are we, Tim? I can't do this if you won't give me a proper answer.” Y/N whispered, her gaze slowly going down. 

Timothée tilted her head up, “I'm sorry for being an idiot.” 

“You're my idiot.” Y/N chuckled softly, “Are we okay again?” she asked hesitantly. Instead of answering her, he crushed his lips against hers. “Mine.” he moaned into the kiss. 

“Yours, forever yours.” 

Timothée picked her up, lips still locked together, her legs wrapping around his waist. He brought her up to his room and placed her gently on the bed. 

“I love you, I love you so fucking much, Y/N.” 

“I love you, Timmy. More than anything.” Timothée took off his shirt before pressing his lips back on hers, parting her lips with his tongue. He sucked on her tongue, savoring the sweet taste of her. Y/N bit on his lower lip, that made him moan into the miss. His hands trailed over her body while she pulled on his hair, whimpering at his touch. 

Timothée pulled away, tugging on her shirt, taking it off of her. He unclasped her lacy red bra with ease, taking off the offending fabric off of her chest.

“I missed these.” Y/N moaned as Timothée sucked on one of her breasts while her hands made their way to the waistband of his shorts, tugging them down along with his boxers. His cock was hard and throbbing as it sprung free.

“I still get surprised with how big you are.” Y/N chuckled, kitten licking the tip of his cock.

“Don't tease, princess.” Timothée whined. Y/N licked the tip one last time before bobbing up and down, taking his length in her mouth. 

“Merde! Princess, fuck, your mouth feels so fucking good.” he moaned, thrusting his hips forward making Y/N gag, drool dripping from the side of her mouth. She cupped his balls, sucking him harder and faster. 

“Oh, fuck, I-I'm g-gonna cum!” Timothée moaned as he released in her mouth. Y/N sucked hard, making sure to take every last drop of his cum. 

“Good girl. Now, on your back, princess.” he demanded, his voice husky. He slid her sweatpants down, taking her panties along with it. He slipped two fingers inside of her, making her whimper. He watched her as he moved his fingers in and out her, grinning when she gasped when he rubbed his thumb over her clit. “You like that, don't you, princess?” he whispered in her ear. “So wet for me, eager for my cock, aren't you?” 

“Yes, oh, f-fuck! Right there!” When he felt her walls beginning to clench around his fingers, he smirked and removed them, making her whine at the empty feeling. “Please, Tim, d-don't tease!” 

“What do you want, princess? You want my cock, huh, princess? Beg for it.” Timothée whispered in her ear, sending shivers down her spine. 

“Please, Timmy, I want you, I need you! Fill me up with your cum until my knees give out!” Y/N begged, rubbing her thighs together to temporarily ease her desire. 

Timothée lined his cock up to her entrance, pushing in slow and deep, making her hiss. “So tight, fuck.” he groaned as thrust in and out of her at a slow pace, letting her adjust. He savored the feeling of being inside of her, her walls delectably suffocating his cock. He briefly pulled out of her only to thrust back in hard and deep, Y/N moaned loudly. “Fuck, harder! Please!” 

Timothée growled loudly and withdrew again, plunging back into her and hard and deep. “Mine,” he said in a gasping breath as he quickened his pace, Y/N's arms wrapping around him, her nails digging on his skin. Timothée gripped her hips, thrusting in and out rhythmically.

 “All yours, forever yours, only yours.” Y/N moaned. Timothée panted against her skin, growling and sucking at breasts. 

“I'm g-gonna cum!” Y/N whimpered, her nails digging deeper into his skin. 

“Cum for me, princess. Come around my cock. Gonna cum too, fuck!” 

“Oh fuck!” Y/N cried out, her arms and legs wrapping around him and gripping him tightly as she came hard around him. Timothée grunted as he spilled inside of her, “Fuck, I love you.” he whispered in her ear as he collapsed on top of her, kissing her neck up to her lips.

“I love you more.” Y/N chuckled tiredly. Timothée flipped her over so she was laying on top of him. He kissed the top of her head as she snuggled on his chest.

He missed her so much, and Timothée vowed never to let go of his woman ever again. 

“I love you, more than words can ever describe.”

@helens3amstuff @lovemelikecrazyiloveyoucrazy @gatoenlaciudad @thebetawolfgirl @bobthe-turmpetman29

[petarabbit2]

Realistic Ace Trappola + Headcanons

Ace headcanons + realistic artwork done with Art Breeder and edited in Clip Art Studio:

Okay so getting straight into it, this is my first post about my headcanons and realistic versions of twisted wonderland characters and the first one being introduced is *drumroll* Ace Trappola! Ace fans, you eating good tonight my chickies (that sounds so weird if u dont think of chickens right away LMFAO).

Sidenote: When headcanoning Ace and all my other characters, I take both factual and some of my personal thoughts/beliefs of the character to construct my headcanons.

So for Ace, its evident that I gave him acne due to reasoning such as his diet (fav food being cherry pie and mentioning his liking towards burgers) plus he is literally a teen boy that also has no women in his life and stereotypically the mother is the one to bring up looks as an issue, so without this Ace probably would have never gotten the right treatment for his acne. 

He’s already a red head so I added on that by giving him freckles. Also, it's known that redheads are more prone to acne, so another note as to why I gave him acne.

For his features for a realistic rendition, I went with a heart shaped face (because Ace’s card suit is hearts) but his widow's peak is hidden beneath his bangs. He has a snub nose shape which is quite round and slightly upturned. He has thicker eyebrows cause we all know bro don’t give a shit about his appearance.

For his hair I went wild, it's extremely fluffy, a bit curly and like shoulder length when wet. Bro has had like two haircuts his whole life and probably smells foul. I also tried to keep to the original style pretty closely without it looking really weird like bro came straight out of an anime. 

I didn't draw the bodies for any of them but Ace is more lanky with long legs and a rectangular body shape, but he has pretty big feet and hands.

Yeah and he's got a light British accent gang I’m sorry 😭 – he uses slang often as well.

Without & With Face Makeup:

Personality and backstory headcanons + a bit of character analysis:

Okay so Ace is one of the very first characters we meet in the game and a good one at that, a lot of people just put him in the category of “dumb friend with one brain cell”, and yes that's kinda true but every person had a reason to be the way they are due to personal experiences. We know in canon that Ace has always lived with his father and older brother but due to the literally no backstory on his mum, I’m saying his parents are divorced which he has much more time with his dad, also by his mannerism being so straight to the point and not sugar coated, this could be due to him being raised in an only male household. Which could also hint to why he “didn't feel committed” to his former relationship in middle school, he was so new to this type of love and got scared. After all he is just a teen, cut my boy some slack. (#1 Ace defender) 

Due to this relationship with his mother and seeing how his parents fell out of love, fought or similar, he’s very bad with women which is why he has only male friends. The only way he would have a girlfriend (or woman friend) is if they were not sensitive to his zero-filter way of speaking and even tell him off for it. (not me doing this since my yuusona is a girl 💀)

It's still mentioned that the whole family gets together around holidays (although this could possibly just mean his grandma and such and not the mothers side) so maybe the divorce wasn't messy and they just didn't love each other anymore, which happens all the time with quick relationships.

Ace is also pretty immature and not into deep and emotional conversations which is common with teen boys (especially around his age group). So not trying to hate, but all those scenarios made up with him comforting the reader and helping them feel better, in reality, he probably wouldn’t have gotten why you're so sad and not really know how to comfort you. Which is completely fine! He's not fully grown in body or mind and people need to accept this.

He definitely makes your mum jokes and sex jokes, bro cannot stop himself laughing when a teacher says anything sex related. He's highly competitive and will sulk if he loses a basketball game or bet with a friend.

Also despite being not very empathetic (not on purpose though), he appreciates the little things. For example, he’d appreciate you remembering his birthday or always having a spare pencil for him in class as you know he always loses his. He really appreciates those friends and even though he lacks in some areas, he will always protect them and stay by their side no matter what.

In conclusion, he's just some teen boy who's still learning about life and people. I had a lot of fun making the realistic design and giving him more depth as a character and I'll be doing this for the rest of the cast and after that maybe side characters?? Only if you guys want it though, I’ll also one day release my yuusona 😞. (she’s my queen get ready yall (hi i’m the 10/10 editor and assistant 😋)) (together, we are big brain)

My editor/assistant cause I can’t grammar or spell to save my life: @cyb3rpnnk 

SIDENOTE: DO NOT REPOST MY REALISTIC RENDITION OF ACE OR ANY OTHER CHARCTER I DO AS YOUR OWN. EVEN THOUGH THE BASE WAS MADE WITH AI IT IS STILL MY CREATION!

However you are permitied to use my headcanoing as your own for art or stories or whatever, just not my realistic rendition.

Hope you enjoyed my take on realistic Ace and my headcanoning!

[gyarucoded]

reviewing loki s2 ep4 (major spoilers!)

i was bit hesitant thowards this ep cuz i started noticing how this season parallels the previous one, which went very downhill after ep3 however, i think it seem to get better this time? 🤔🤭 this is so far my fav episode and hopefull they'll keep this energy for the last 2 eps. ok let's get into it:

i don't think this was timed like this on purpose but love how we're 3 days away from halloween and this episode fits with it so well. i could be biased as a horror fan but i loved the eeriness (is that even a term?)

brad you stupidass why are you listening to ravonna when she clearly doesn't care about any of your lives on the time line 😭

ooouu the box scene 😧 not miss minutes' psycho ass smiling like she's getting creepier each ep- also as someone who watches gory movies i expected to see what was left of all the prisoners but then i remembered disney tries to keep shit as "family friendly" as possible altough i am not complaining cuz it's a lot more cinematic to just hear the blood droplets & it leaves space for our imagination!

why does it feel like b-15 is lowkey the true leader of the tva now? i can definitely vibe with that.

"which way, wizard?"

B-15 is strong af for not throwing up at *that* scene but ig she has seen more gruesome sights before.

i just know ppl gonna ship o.b, casey & victor as a poly-couple and i'm a 100% there for it lmaoo

even sylvie calling it "bromance" like miss ma'am's gay radar was going havoc, and her smile when HWR death was mentioned plss🤚 😭

i know sylvie meant well when she snapped at mobius for yk, "not reading the room" but i still felt kinda bad for mobius cuz i can deffo see him as the stress eater-type.

loki mentioning thor !!!!

the parallels between thor & jane and loki & mobius hmmm.....hmmmm...

what sylvie said about anhiliation & starting from scratch reminded me of thanos in endgame, sry baby 💀

well despite of that, still think sylvie is in the middle of her positive character arc/development

we're also witnessing loki's growth !! (notice how in 1x04 mobius told him to grow up?) he's possibly even more mature then he was in the sacred time line but that was due his sctripted fate of being a "loser" that sabotaged him from more rational choices but now he's free to think & do what he wants n i love that for him.

goodbye miss minutes i assure you that nobody's gonna miss yew. 💁‍♀️

now why did x-5 had to ruin that wholesome moment this badly ><=$^[_=

despite of sylvie & loki not fully agreeing on moral issues and stuff, i enjoyed them working together, it was finally sylvie's turn to show off her magic 😋

loki was so soft & reassuring with victor timely only for him to be spaghettified ?? i knew they'd probs kill him off but i didn't expect it to be such a weird & immidate death 😭 kinda sad cuz i don't think they'll bring that version of him back.

idk how to feel about ravonna getting pruned. not sure she'll get redeemed cuz it's too late for that now but pruning doesn't kill an invidual so it's likely that her story doesn't just end here.

love the soundtrack in this series generally but in the latest episode it's outstanding ! natalie holt truly added her whole 🐱 into this ost 🙏

the cliffhanger is absolutely killing me, i'll have to absorb all the theories until next friday like i fr cannot wait ngfddjfsvbm

[secondchoice-ragdoll]

Am I the only one who is a little sad that the moment Trixie was single she didn't take a second look at Katya and immediately went to the ex? She could've given her a chance. And I wonder how K really feels now that she wants kids. I know she doesn't want them herself, but I'm afraid this will change things between them and I really really hope they don't.

ugh okay first of all: im totally w u and i a 100% see ur point. these have crossed my mind too, and i can easily get to a place where these topics make me sad for a while. but genuinely i dont think we should worry too much abt any of it. at the end all i want is for them to be happy, no matter how that looks like🤝

on a further note, we cant be like *actually* sure abt any of what is going on? like yes it seems pretty clear, and it might as well be exactly as we think it is, its all spelled out, isnt it? its really just that we were the ones who spelled it out, and not T, or any other person who is practicipating in the situation. all im saying is that i wouldnt advise anyone to bet on whats going on w T rn (if for nothing else then just out of respect), and im sure eventually we will hear either a confirmation or a fully different story that will clear things up.

specualtion is free tho, and also pretty interesting, so as long as we keep it kinda hush-hush i think its okay that we entertain ourselves w these anecdotes. like im totally in, and i do think *the* ex is now truly an ex, like that much id even dare to place a bet on. the rest is just questionmarks😭😭😭 like i could see this new guy being actually something, or just a rebound-fling, or just a friend(?). and its also possible that he is the old ex, and then i do have even more questions, but the bar is under a frog's ass after the last guy, so im appriciative towards anyone who is slightly better than him, and it would appear to be a true challenge to be worse than him💀 sooo idk i do believe yall that that guy on the pics is really old KY guy, im just not sure if they r friends or fwb or dating or a secret fourth option? doesnt matter as long as T is okay and having fun. (also, i do think she could have spent some time being single IF she is in a relationship again, but hey, anything is better than how we were around a year ago, no? and as long as a guy doesnt treat her like shit im happy for her!!!) ((and yes. i am really sad miss K got looked over again if thats the case. even if i dont think we will ever get to live in a world they r actually legit dating. in another universe for sure. but in this one? too many hangups. these creatures cant even fucking talk abt the fact that they'd like to hang out more tgthr. like..... be fr😭 they r stooooopid, and thats okay. its sad, its tragic, but its okay, and they have a really special relationship regardless of whether they ever go that far or dont. there is always hope, and even if they fall out now, maybe they need it to break and actually confront the fact that they want to hang out? like there r so many ways for things to go. soooo many. i could sit here and spin this wheel on for hours with no end, i promise. i do think it could have happened in like 2020-2023? maybe even beginning of 24. but as things stand now... eeeh i think it wouldnt be such a clean cut, but they do tend to do things the more complicated way, at least thats how it seems to me. the thing is that they r such complex ppl and they have so many motives that i could make literal lists about what their excuses might be (such as work, but now that T says it doesnt matter that much maybe it changes, or such as age, or what-ifs, or fear of ruining what they have, or thinking that maybe they have missed their chance, new/old confidence issues, mental health states? ...these two...). on the other hand, do we really think K got looked over? Ts literal god? im not so sure, but only time will be able to tell wtf has been going on.))

i see ur concern, and yeah change is fucking scary, especially if such comforting things change. but u see, this could be exactly one of their hangups too. things keep changing no matter what, all we can do is hope they both r okay and happy and nice parts of each other's lives.

i understand that T keeps speaking abt wantimg kids, and sure, pop off! but like, i reaaaally doubt she would be actually having kids this year? like i feel like its maybe a new thing for her to think of having kids as an actual possibility she considers for her future, thus she speaks abt it openly since its one of the things she is interested in now! but like, having a kid is not this quick of a process, even a pregnancy takes 9 months😭😭 and also im pretty sure that her life isnt at a place where she could pick up a kid tomorrow and just go on and be her best self as a parent and i feel like she must be aware of that? T and K would both be at least okay parents, thats for sure!! but like, considering Ts past year... yeah i dont think it will be such a quick happening. once, in a few years, sure! even in 2, why not! but not tomorrow. she'd do fine as a single parent, she'd do fine w a partner, it will be fine, just really not as soon as some ppl r concerned it might be😭 let her just get that birdie first, i think that could be a logical and nice next step!

finally, i really dont think K would have such a problem w children? (even if she did, dont u think shed make an exception for T? im pretty sure she'd do almost anything for/with T.) like she absolutely adores her nephew as far as i know, so im certain she wouldnt delete T's contact info if/when she had a kid. im pretty sure T wouldnt block Ks number either just bc she became a parent, she also seems to know how nice K is to kids despite not necessarily getting them (see: her gifting a lot of money to her nephew's, like, 4th bday? but i could argue that thats a great gift, just more long term great😭). and what if T gets that kid and eventually calls K for help (more likely for herself and not the kid, but this is besides the point), and then K does help, and then they spend even more time together with this newfound excuse, and they realise how well they function as a family, and then they can finally move in together and be lesbians and be disgustingly in love and live happily ever after??? what then???? anyways, my point is that even if they r in a tiny bit of a divitation i highly doubt it would be due to T wanting a kid. i think its more that they both were afraid during T's break that if they reached out more they would annoy the other one, bc "omg what if she needed a break from me too???" (like. T needed a break from her god. and K needed a break from the person who tethers her to this earth. sure jan. emotionally they do have some challenges, thats certain!). and maybe they need to drift a bit apart to then get back together and be even closer (if that is scientifically even possible). things arent as linear and easy as we would like them to be, and since our perspective is and outside one, im pretty sure that from their pov it seems or at least feels sooooo much more complicated. while i just sit on the floor and go "just date ffs its not that hard!!4!4 look back footage of ur faces while u look at eachother!!! thats all u need!!44!", and we r both right! it is very complicated but it could also be manageable. (what i think might be more painful here is if T has the kid w a partner, bc that seems pretty, uh, *certain*, or unchangable, final? obvi its not ***that*** drastic, but it is a bigger deal. so yeah, but i stand by my op that none of this will happen in the blink of an eye, we'll see as it unfolds ig and hope for smth real nice)

[carmenized-onions]

Chap 13 STRAP ON IN MOTHERFUCKER

tumblr not notifying me of this WHEN I HAVE NOTIFICATIONS ON is a crime, like be so fr rn

1. OMG FIRST MEET WITH MIKEY OH SHIT. was this inspired by napkins perchance?

2. i love the word ‘indulge’. you kinda went off when you invented the english language

3. unrelated to this but the age thing. it’s so funny that we were all shocked by mikey’s age when his best friend literally said “dude i think i’m 45 polishing forks”

4. Yoink!

5. it will be HER sandwich indeed🥺

6. MIDDLE-AGED i mean it’s true but dang you really did them like that,,

7. THE COFFEE MACHINEEE. BABYYY WE’RE GETTING ALL THE TIDBITS

8. the mirror to carmen broke my heart. also we get his pov of the *situation* now so im gonna be sick

9. UGHHH YOUR WRITING!!!!! >>>>>> it deffo feels like we’re in his head

10. every time you tried food for him - IM ACTUALLY CRYING SHUT UP

11. gary with the ‘ick’🥺🫶🏼🫶🏼

12. CARMEN ARE YOU NOT GONNA THINK ABOUT HOW HE WANTS WINE GIRL’S NUMBER

13. he cannot get it to smell like you again. - babyboyyy

14. He thought he didn’t want that? - 😭😭😭 BRING THEM BACK

15. You looked so good. You always look good. Better, in his clothes, but you always look good - BARK BARK BARK

16. It’s probably the onions from the broth making her tear up. - THE ONIONS👀

17. You’ve been out of Carmen’s life for 0ERR minutes. Yeah. That’s exactly how long it feels like. - YOOO YOU FUCKING KILLED WITH THIS

18. oop the thin line for the mikey / flashback parts !! we back. (or maybe it’s the same as it’s always been and i’m dumb) ALSO MARCUS<333 the bread guy💀 he IS the nicest

19. “My ears, kid.” - T🥹🥹🥹

20. ugh here we get to see chippy be such a nerd, no wonder her and squid are besties

21. Sometimes you think about asking if she needs you anymore. - clutching my chest

22. mikey calling her ‘kid’ is so accurate

23. OMG SHE WAS COOKING WITH THEM TOO🥺🥺🫶🏼

24. Like he can see the invisible snake coiling around Carmen. - oh you popped off onion

25. “Can we step out, for a second, Chef?” - OH FUCK

26. “You should reply!” - her being an angel to carmen before they even met i’m so🥺🥺🥺

27. “No, no— Oldest.” - REAL, or like only child but not in the spoiled way - in the had to be the mediator way cause they’re the only one there

28. Mikey is really good at being an older brother, you think. - mikey being a caring older brother figure to her is soooo cute

29. Did his mouth taste bad, every time he’d kiss you? Probably. - NOOO CHIPPY WANTS TO GIVE YOU ALL THE SMOOCHES - well not rn but hush

30. I just— I just made the—The only fuckin’ good thing in my life leave - STOP OMG THEIR LOVE IS EVERYTHING IM GONNA BITE AN XLR CABLE

31. “Heard and resented.” - RICHIE IS SO CUTE STOP chip and richie are my fave besties

32. “Want your coffee?” - I too would fold immediately

33. “Fucker.” - I LOVE THEM

34. He kisses your temple as you pass him, making an all too aggressive ‘muah’ noise - STOPPPP HE IS THE CUTEST GIRLDAD EVER I WANT TO BE HIS BEST FRIEND 😭😭😭

35. the syrups<3

36. “Cousin!” - okay bad timing but she called him cousin🥺

37. naloxone kit - i had to google this and OH SHIT

38. “You got her number, by chance?” - PUKE

39. I’ve had her number for three years, memorized - actually fuck it all, THEY are everything to me

40. I would be so fucking lucky, if a woman like that— - this had me crying, he’s so special to me actually

41. And he pivots his head, to speak very deliberately, to Carmen - man he’s just the best friend and guard dog

42. If fuckin’ only. If I had someone like that— I’d be on hand and fucking knee, for her. - biting into a pillow because oh my god ?? their friendship owns me

43. It also wouldn’t hurt to get your number, you’re perfect. - 🚶‍♀️🚶‍♀️🚶‍♀️

44. There’s a joke in here somewhere, and it’s probably Carmen. - STOP HURTING ME ONION THATS SO SAD

45. “I’d fucking kill him.” - are they talking about lee😁 cause go for it bestie!! kill that fucker

46. “Hard to speak in those rooms.” - he’s so intelligent and that just makes it all so much sadder

47. “I would’ve said something.” - So true but chip is a superior being so

48. Like you can take the compliment, but you can never say ‘I know, I’m doing it on purpose.’ - crying again. the way you write mikey is just unmatched. better than the show - *tamisha iman voice* I SAID WHAT I SAID

49. because you’re the guy, too. - this scene is so special and precious

50. “Like a nerd?” “Like a nerd.” - something about chip’s friendships with middle-aged men is so dear to me

51. There was this girl - her girlfriend!!

52. also love that we get to hear some of her addiction story🫶🏼🫶🏼🫶🏼 and the way you handled it was beautiful❤️

53. “Oh don’t you point a finger when it comes to burying a fucking lead.” - GET HIS ASS

54. “Michael The Bear Berzatto, you have officially been sober for twenty-four hours.” - YOOO this is the cutest thing, them spending time together so he won’t - yeah:’)))

55. he’s still your guy - big brother🫶🏼🫶🏼🫶🏼 ugh like i *kinda* get why carmen was jealous cause it’s like mikey was SUCH a big brother to her that it makes sense that carmy would wonder why mikey couldn’t be that to *him* - his actual brother

56. “That’s what she said—” “Fucking gross!” - amazing

57. this chapter is fully like 7 chapter shoved into one worth of content and i love that

58. “[…]Don’t forget that. That we’re on the same team and I love you.” / “I’m not gonna forget you love me, Chip.” and neither of you know this is a lie, yet. - 🥺🥺🥺

59. “And I don’t want that shit for Chip, either—“ - he’s always protecting her 🥺🥺🫶🏼

60. “Cousin, what the fuck did I say to her?” / “You said she failed him.” - the tears are coming back. i’m really alice crying in wonderlanding this chapter

61. zero pulse - oh the throw backs

62. Mikey desperately trying to escape the freezer - I KNEEWWWW HE WAS STUCK IN IT AT SOME POINT. maybe you actually mentioned this in a chapter but !! anyways this wasn’t the way i imagined but this was better

63. YOU WROTE THIS SCENE SO SPLENDIDLY MY LOVE I AM IN AWE OF YOU

64. “Don’t open it.” - he’s trying so hard 🥺

65. “Because the last person that helped you just ran out crying.” - GET HIS ASS RICHIE!!!!

66. Thank you, for softening him up, because if you hadn’t, again, Carmen would be going headfirst through the fucking window right now. - love that

67. “You want me to take all my money, okay, and place it in a fucking furnace? Is that right?” - LMAO UNCLE JIMMY IS SO FUNNY

68. “So I’m sensing—” You curl your hand in the air. “A touch of hostility, which is fair.” - they’re so funny i just - also she sounds like squid, love that

69. No, the manager at Wells Fargo was. - OH???

70. “She could be my daughter!” - the chipxmikey allegations are dead🥳🥳 a win!

71. And I’m gonna bring Carmy on, and we’re gonna do like - omg this is better than canon🥺

72. it’s the blind leading the fucking blind. - you make the drama funny

73. “Every week that you keep going, that’s ten grand.” - JIMMY!!!

74. Fingers crossed he likes you - 💔💔💔 don’t do me like that😭😭😭

75. “If that’s what getting a star takes, I don’t want it.” - ayo???🥺🥺🥺 (no pun intended)

76. “Can you stay after close?” - OH OH OH!!!!

77. no fucking idea where he’s been putting it - and she would not be able to guess it because that’s insane

78. It’d be more accurate of him to say he likes the sticky notes you tack on to each mug - she really is just the cutest ever

79. “I know. But I wanna prove I can, too.” - 🫶🏼

80. “Child incoming, no expletives please!” - EVA COMING!!!!! chippy being the gay aunt LETS GOOOO (also shout out richie for knowing big words)

81. “You’re gonna break your neck, Mike.” - can it just be this? the three of them? forever?

82. “I don’t wanna plan your funeral.” - YOOOOOOOOOO

83. A LITTLE PATOOT IS RIGHT

84. removing your hands from Eva, but then she holds them there. - i combusted🥹😭💕

85. kiss your cheek just short of a million times. “The perfect woman—” - hgnnh inlove them so muchhhhh. i need this to be in the show, WHERE IS CHIP IN CANON (i like to think that whenever we don’t know what richie or syd is up to they’re with chip:’))

86. “Not Italian!” is the synchronous reply from you and Mikey. - love this

87. Eva interrupts him, taking as much as a shining to you as she does her father. “Exp—Expultive!” She looks at you for approval and you nod in delight. - 😭🫶🏼��😭🫶🏼💖😭🫶🏼💖

88. richie calls eva sweets!!!!!

89. “I want you to start talking to Carmen, when he comes back.” - their biggest believer besides me!!

90. “Cause you’re you.” - speechless

91. “Are you trying to hook me up right now?” “He’s a virgin, so it’s definitely not a good deal for you—” - IANDJDIEJEIEIEJEJEIRJFHRJ

92. “I just want you to be prepared for what you’re getting into, he gets performance anxiety so—” - aiaiwneoeneiwhrjrje?!?!!!

93. “Thank you! I ask for so little.” - this is just PEAK

94. He grabs the notepad and rips off the twenty seven points. - richie is so funny actually

95. deli containers of coke. - sniff sniff?👀

96. “Solve it hard and fast—” “Why hard—?” - BALEGDEH

97. Richie’s got lists of books now, instead of zingers. They somehow hit harder. - YOU GO RICHIE!!

98. “We know.” - that’s so cute!! he soft launched their relationship without knowing

99. Carmen’s gonna do right by you, for the rest of his life. - ONION🥹🥹😭😭

100. He’s gonna be your man - *in the arms of the angel🎶🕊️*

101. When he knew you’d be out of the city. - that is so heartbreaking and i’m crying again

102. Maybe Carmen will figure it out. It’s meant for him anyways. - i mean technically i already knew this, but it’s so sweet to see it written anyways

103. With his three month sobriety chip hanging off of it.  - 🚶‍♀️🚶‍♀️🚶‍♀️

104. “Nephew didn’t take a liking to you?” - STOP YOU CANT BE THIS FUNNY WHEN THE CHAPTER IS THIS TRAGIC

105. My best friend died on February 22nd. On the State Street Bridge - and the tears are rolling

106. “Go inside, soon. Come home.” / “I will” - crying again

107. MICHAEL FUCKING SAW HER

108. Wells-Fargo will ask if you want to close your account. - ohhh that’s why they asked about the baby

109. Next time you’ll think of everything, next time you won’t fail. - chiiiip🥺

110. You will go, and you will sit on the curb across from the church, and you will not go inside. - THE MIRRORING OF HER AND CARMY UGHH IT’S SO POWERFUL

111. You will stare at the little stuffed bear, the roses, the picture frame of him, and you will finally say it aloud. - more crying

112. When Carmen shows up, two hours later, not honestly that long after you finally left, he will add a bouquet and a prayer candle - they’re so meant to be and just ugh these moments are so special

113. “Guys I— Guys I don’t know how to run bar, and I don’t think I should’ve been trusted, with this.” - LMFAO

114. “I’m gonna fix it.” Carmen will tell you -🥺 i’m soft🥺

115. No more fucking shoes, because it's all out now. -😭💖

116. It’s not negotiable. - YOOOOOO THE MIC DROP AT THE END OF THE CHAPTER YOU FUCJING ATEEEEEEE THIS AND THEN SOME

I think you’ve gotta be crowned for longest ask? I believe you’re currently number one fan of the blog (like in terms of the literal activity stats), so perhaps that’s enough of a reward. 

LETS STRAP ON IN I MEAN I won’t respond to every point because that would be insane but let’s GO

We’ve messaged about it hhehehe BUT FOR THE CLASS!! Had the intro planned pre-napkins!! Slash this whole chapter. I was very much going off of Fishes for my flashback inspo but then they gifted me Napkins and I got to YOINK that scene like Mikey yoinked that sandwich. and for that Mr Storer and Ayo I thank u

THE AGE THING LISTEN I NEED TO REWATCH FORKS BECAUSE I THOUGHT RICHIE SAID 40 NOT 45— It’s WHY I was so shocked about Mikey being 43— I shouldn’t have been, it’s only 3 years, but in my minds eye I was like “well surely they’re the same age, they give ‘went to highschool together’ energy because when the fuck else would you meet— But I can’t remember a single freshman I STAYED friends with in both high school AND college for that matter so WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED

Writing in Carmen’s head for Friday was so fucking fun. No wonder they make him freak so much in S3 it’s just FUN TO MAKE HIM SQUEAK. Also man idk if I ever have the best grip on Gary/Sweeps but I felt like bro HAD to be thinking “what? You want the number of the kitchen princess? The personality hire that also actually does things here? I’m going to threw up.”

Carmen spiral being very sweet as he actively ignores the elephant of his EC being a creep,,,, ohhhhhhh babbyyyyy highway to the DANGERzone. I really felt like that moment was simply “I literally cannot process this information so I’m just not going to”

THE THIN ASS LINES!! They’re the same colours as before (though I did debate changing them, I couldn’t think of a colour scheme that would suite Mikey/Chip’s flashbacks better, but maybe I’ll ninja edit and change them in the future, we’ll see.)

Chip was/is SUCH a nerd I loved writing her back when she was in Syd’s position of being completely new to this family and needing to integrate (YOU’RE NOT INTEGRATED IN THE DREAM WEAVE!!!)… ahhhh

100% Chip could also be an only child i see that in a million ways, A MEDIATOR FOR SURE!! I think any childhood dynamic could work for her honestly, I made her a baby truly for the sake of representing the other babies out there like me— WE ALSO ARE DEPENDABLE!! WE CAN BE DA ROCK TOO!! And I honestly think Carmen needs someone who was a baby sibling in his life. Babies work very well together. 

BITING AN XLR CABLE IS SUCH A SPECIFIC FEELINFDKNVJFD been there. How many times have I hung an XLR around my neck? Too many times (for convenience I swear!!) (those equipment hauls SUCK ALRIGHT!!)

Girldad big brother Rich !! My beloved!! I love that after the naloxone scene comes Richie’s “I’ve had her number for three years, memorized— You know why?” — He never actually gets to say why— And is it cause they’re besties? Yes 100%, but it’s also BECAUSE OF THE NALOXONE SCENE!! Chip was absolutely his borderline emerg contact for awhile. I absolutely headcanon he considered calling her when he went to prison. That would’ve been his version of Syd calling her during opening night. Her two besties KNOW Chip is the most dependable person they know (My legacy is to be an excellent emergency contact !! aah shit)

Mikey does the same shit Chip did with Lee/Carmen!! Tried to justify/critically think through the emotions of the other people/person in order to emotionally recover!! CAUSE THEY’RE BOTH THE GUY I’M SICK. IM WRETCHING. CHIP AND HER SUPPORT MIDDLE AGED MEN DOGS ARE SOMETHING THAT CAN BE SO PERSONAL

BETTER THAN THE SHOWOWWJLFKJSF I try I try. I really do hope I was on point with my Mikey characterization, because I do think if he had a chance to be vulnerable this is how he WOULD speak because it’s VERY clear in his episodes that he’s extremely emotionally intelligent, and like a fucking sniper, I see me in him and him in me and i can TELL that motherfucker is doing it on purpose. FUCK. He knows what he needs to be for people! And he knows he does it for people! We always know! We always fuckin’ know! We’re the guy on purpose!!

Her girlfriend!!!!!!!! There’s nothing to this point besides her GIRLFRIEND!!

It compLEETTEELYY makes sense for Carmen to be jealous of Chip for being so close with Mikey— But I think the thing that he’s started to realize— Is that yes 100% Chip got to be Mikey’s guy when Carmen didn’t, but Chip very specifically got those last two extremely turbulent two years, like it was NOT all good. The only memories Carmen has of Mikey are either positive or ruined purely by the rest of his family— HE never had to see Mikey go through HALF the shit that Richie/Chip saw him go through, and I think he’s realized, Oh I don’t have legitimate reason to be mad over a time that literally was not even that fun

Richie’s always protecting her!!! Fully prioritized her!! Parking lot scene softened the shit out of Richie for this fight honestly because after crying with Chip he managed to realize “oh yeah Carmen’s just a fuckhead. He’s wrong about everything he said. I’m going to go kill him to avenge you now.” love him. Love him love him.

There’s a shocking amount of title throwbacks in this one, I can’t remember, but if you keyword search you might find a couple. Zero Pulse, Doing too much I know is in here. Something to do, obviously. Tony Terry Or Tommy, not exact title but that’s here. Some version of do the thing is in here. Easter eggs? Yeah let’s call them easter eggs. 

MIKEY IN THE FREEZZEERR It’s referenced in the first chap (which I imagine you caught on your reread, and in Chap12) but like you said, I think both times I worded it in such a way where it was like, oh he got stuck the same way Carmen did— nononono I DID SOMETHING WAY MORE FUCKED UP!! That trio was trying so hard man. I love them as a trio, I never wanted to stop writing for them.

Put my money in a furnace you say? I’m in. (Uncle Jimmy to both of his nephews 1 million times)

Chipxmikey the ship has drowned. The ship has careened into the ocean. The ship is getting visitors from billionaires in a barely functioning submarine. The ship just killed the submarine. 

AYOOOOO If that’s what a star takes I don’t want it— BITCH. MAKEOUT!

The sticky notes on the mugs!! And they end up being the sticky notes in his ICE folder!! The ones that Carmen loses his shit over!! Fucker feels real bad now, I bet. 

Eva’s whole moment is inspired by my co-workers kid who immediately upon meeting me and finding out I know what Sanrio is— Fell head over heels for me as a best friend. Fully kept asking me to come out of the office to watch her do backflips and then ask if I could do that, and I went “Honestly no but I think I can kind of almost a little bit do the splits”

I SO WISH CHIP WAS IN CANON MAN,, SYD AND RICHIE CLEARLY NEED A PERSON— I know inevitably their person will likely end up being each other, but like, Chip is so good for both of them. Made me so sad when either of them were lonely in S3 cause I was like baby. Your Work Wife is just offscreen. Just look over there she’s right there man what do you mean she’s not canon

Mikey shipped CarmTony before it was cool. ALSO CAUSE YOU’RE YOU is one of my favourites. I think Tony says it to Chip first at one point, and then he says it back to her in Doing too Much, ahhhh houston the house boottts

TOO MANY PEOPLE FREAKED OVER THE PERFORMANCE ANXIETY— LISTEN I DONT THINK MIKEY KNOWS HIM LIKE THAT BUT LIKE CLEARLY CARMEN GETS PERFORMANCE ANXIETY IN EVERYTHING HE DOES ALRIGHT? ALRIGHT???

I love going from “I ask for so little” to Richie/Syd asking Carmen to completely 180 his entire life in a week. Like that’s so fucking funny to me. As is “oh Good” and TEARING off the list lmao

We cANT MAKE COKE JOKES IN THE SOBRIETY CHAPTER!!! This one did slip by me though honestly I had to fucking change coke to Diet Coke in the intro of Zero Pulse to make it clear that Carmen did not fall asleep on his couch covered in chip dust and cocaine. Or did he…

Chip thought she was so slick soft launching with the jacket when Carmen did it immediately by accident. 

This whole final scene I’ll try to condense down into one point because if I don’t we’ll all go insane listening to me fucking yap again about it. But MIKEY SAW HER MAN!!! This last call sucks so much because he’s STILL the fucking guy in it. He’s still making sure she and everyone else are okay and trying to make her laugh with the nephew thing DESPITE the fact that he’s got a clear plan— i’m soooo—- I’m gonna reach into heaven and beat MB’s ass. 

The mirroring of their mourning!! Hell!!! I imagine they drove past each other not knowing the other was doing the same shit. How fucking different would their lives be if they overlapped at that vigil man i’m ill

HE’S GONNA FIX IT!!!! IT’S NOT NEGOTIABLE!!!! ALSO SOMEONE PLEASE HELP FAK RUN BAR HE’S FUCKING DYING!!!!

Thank you for these thoughts as always, can’t wait to see what you think about my bullshit with Chapter 14. YOU’RE GONNA LIKE IT. I THINK. I HOPE.

I literally had to take the numbers off this because the block was so long tumblr would not let me post it. this has never happened before JESUS CHRIST

[sphericalbee]

this is long asf and i know it STARTS w me being like 'i should kms' but im gna spoil it for u all and say that's NOT where it goes lmfao im just dumping out all my thoughts

!! very very rambly, not proofread even once, probably makes no sense and is very cheesy

i wrote a fucking novel holy shit LMFAO no hard feelings if u skip

if i can be kinda depressing for a second i think ab killing myself too much for someone who is basically fine (that might be a lie idk i don't feel like thinking ab it more rn) 😭 like the world just has so many issues i dont wna deal with,,, yk? and it would be so much easier to just move on to whatever's next, bc i KNOW ill have a fuckton of debt in college and have to live through miserable relationships and watch the earth fall apart bc our leaders r so incompetent. even now im living through like 5 genocides, insane global warming, a poverty crisis, inflation, and all of this can be boiled down to greed and hatred

also a lot of kids my age are so horrible for no reason and it's sad to think how many people just absolutely suck ass

but at the same time i won't kill myself bc there are people who i wna make sure get through everything alright, and ik i have good things to live through too

so ive compromised and decided i get to shoot myself in the head when im like 60 if i don't have a wife and the world is still a mess 💀 like i don't wna live longer than i'll enjoy it (lets be reallll global warming will kill us all before i have to do anything anyway)

surprisingly, i got a lot better after reading philosophy books? making sense of the world and appreciating the genius of the philosophers, who were ppl just like me, helps

i feel like ive found so many new ways to think ab and experience the world through philosophy. it's a beautiful part of humanity, trying to understand and having genuine fascination about the way things are and what everything means

good music helps too. yerin baek to fall in love with everything and cry over every single feeling you've ever had ever, universe mongae when that's too much and i have to detach

i listen to universe mongae a lot in class bc my classmates fuckingh SUCKK and she sets me apart from my emotions or feeling lonely when im leaving myself out on purpose bc they're not good people

a few days ago, i was listening to yerin baek as i walked back to school from lunch and the world was suddenly so beautiful and i realised how everyone else has a consciousness and worlds just as real as mine and i fell in love with everyone (by everyone i mean like 30 people)

suddenly i couldn't even care how much i missed out on or the people who i wish loved me more because in the grand scheme of things, im allowed to be careless and love without reciprocation and it won't matter because i hold no more worth than a dragonfly... to have zero expectations for what you could and should feel or be and just enjoy yerin's voice in the moment might be one of the happiest moments i've ever had, honestly

yk whats ironic? it was a love song directed as another person that made me realise i could feel love and not care if i was still no one's favorite. life is beautiful anyway because i can love and make it beautiful on my own

not that my state of 'im fine with loving everyone alone' will last very long. i mean,, im just a mammal LMAO i can't deny my own brain chemistry

even just earlier today i finished the math test earlier and accidentally started thinking ab my childhood. idk why it happened but i did

and i remembered how i was so selfish and couldn't let anyone see i was anything less than perfect

there's one memory where i mispronounced a word and a girl corrected me. and i immediately tried to say, "no i know, but my brother says it that way and i do it too on accident". she called me out, obviously, and i rolled my eyes before whispering "it's true though" in the hope that someone would hear and think "oh she actually knew that"

it's sad to think how i used to be. that's from around 7th grade, i think, so i would've been 11 maybe?

up to a few months ago i would randomly remember that and feel insane anger and hatred for my younger self

it seems so foreign to me now and weird that i could hate a child for being brought up with horrible conditions and lacking emotional maturity. i thought that if i could go back in time i would just look at her and feel bad bc i got so much better since then

maybe even love her idk she's not having fun either 💀 do u think she enjoys holding herself to absolute perfection and looking like a dumbass in front of everyone when that's inevitably impossible??

there was another time that made me so sad to think ab

i got dragged along to my brother's friend's birthday party and some kid did smth rude

and i watched as the kid got chewed out by his mom and then went to apologise to the birthday kid

and the birthday kid just said, so seriously, "I accept your apology"

and i remember thinking smth like 'whoa that's cool id be so embarrassed talking like that'

thinking ab that time (i think i was 12ish maybe) is so crazy. like my parents did such a shit job that i thought i had to be SO ALOOF and above it all that accepting an apology was weak and embarrassing?? jesus i cannot wait to move out 💀 ill send them an email when im gone telling them everything they'd send me back to therapy for

ive been reading too much philosophy, and a lot of that revolves around the meaning of life and how to achieve happiness/catharsis. but i think i have my own conclusion of what it means to be happy even without plato haha

ive never been happier than when i began to forgive and understand myself

it feels like i can live as i want and it's not important. one of my favorite quotes is "i could die tonight and hold no more significance than a dragonfly's death". i wouldn't say im a nihilist but i do like the idea that nothing means anything other than the worlds we have in our minds

it's my mission to make those i care about happy and carve out a good future for myself

ive tried to follow a lifestyle of "i work for my future without ruining my present" but ngl i just ended up anorexic literally three times in the past 5 years 💀 idek what i did wrong like DAMN?? chill tf out hggsdhgfsgd i had a panic attack over eating an extra bit of cheese one time

also fuck my parents for giving me no life skills. raising urself is really hard and you end up with so much internalised bullshit

im honestly so proud of myself for turning everything around after 8th grade

i guess i owe a lot to my classmates for not letting me get away w bullshit and caring ab political issues

it's pretty wild that i cry at movies now when last year i was apathetic all the time

i think i like having feelings? pretty undecided still ngl

i think it's a step up

but i can't even talk to my parents ab how they fucked everything up for me and i had to pull myself out pf the absolute trenchessssss or theyll make me do family therapy and ill end up forgiving them which id rather explode than do

anyway ig my point is if you're having trouble with existence or mental health, pls don't give up on yourself. i promise there's people out there who either love you or will in the future and you just need a few quality coping mechanisms to make it through the day

whether that's antidepressants, the powerpuff girls, philosophy (:33 which it should be), yerin baek (which it also should be), or vent art, find ways to make life liveable until you're ok again. bc you always will be in the end

i probably don't know you but i love you because you have a life and a consciousness

please recognise that about everyone

i read somewhere that everything will always be alright in the end and if it's not okay yet, it's not the end either. it sounds dumb and doesn't really make sense (where's the logic lmao site ur sources at least) but it's such a nice sentiment

i think ummm i will go to school and give all my friends a big hug tmrw so pls don't be sad in the meantime

anyway loossemble's new album is good im so happy for them

this is the happiest and healthiest hyeju's ever looked i lowkey wna cry over how well theyre doing ;v;

also highkey want her to put me in a chokehold like GHSFDFJFSDHGJK those ARMSSSSSS MOTHER??

fuck modhaus tho i hope artms r doing well... fucking jaden jeong ugh

[thesungod]

Haven't read the books yet but judging by the posts I've seen will has the vibes of like. A pathetic injured tiny drowned wet little cat 😭😭 idk if it's true but I saw a post say he didn't even bring a WEAPON to Tartarus? And also Nico made him cry, like CRY cry? (What was that ab btw? I don't mind spoilers) yeah weirdly enough this makes me like will more he seems to be going through it 💀

it’s exactly that vibe and it’s crazy because one of the few things we’d gotten from previous characterization was that will was supposed to be cool. maybe kind of a dumbass (affectionately <3) but yk. being the only one who’s never scared of Nico, being a combat medic ever since he was 10, bitchy attitude, glows in the dark, attractive to his fellow campers, a good leader. Cool.

He does NOT bring a weapon to Tartarus. Not one. He claims that he didn’t even think about it.

And (spoilers under the cut)

Basically when they arrive in Tartarus Nico faints because he used too much power all at once and Will has to keep an eye on him because he’s defenseless and asleep.

But he kinda starts wandering around instead (half because he’s a dumbass and half because Tartarus lures him in) and gets momentarily kidnapped by some flying monsters. When they find each other again, Nico tells him that he’s a dumb bitch and Will bursts into sobs and apologizes frantically.

(Okay, fine, he doesn’t tell him he’s a dumb bitch, but you get it. He shouts something like “You abandoned me!” which I mean, valid. But it’s still a sad fucking scene, especially as Nico is kinda mean to Will the entire book so it feels like the nail in the coffin.)

[mchiti]

a few things:

thank you for the reassurance and perspective on the support hakim gets in morocco 😭 it made me happy and also it makes me happy to see him having a great time there right now

did you notice how the bulk of the players saudi have gone after are muslim...i don't know if i'm reading too much into this but i suspect that they are targeting these players and trying to shill the "we're a muslim country don't you want to play in a muslim country and help develop it blah blah" thing. Which, if true, makes me very annoyed because a lot of the things they do are very unislamic lol. like spending the first ten days of dhul-hijjah (literally the most sacred days in the entire year) doing shady deals with the shadiest club in the premier league

that racist white girl in footyblr who made the sabiri/ghazali post a while ago made another post basically saying that hell isn't hot enough for the players going to play in saudi because they are funding the yemeni war and famine 💀💀 i wish white people would stick to talking about what they understand

hii anon!! Ohh really, no need to thank me. ♡♡ You can't imagine after world cup 2018, I was in Fez/Tanja (Tangier) and then we went down to our usual trips as usual (Marrakech, Casa etc) and all I could see was his shirt everywhere. And my cousins were telling me all the time of the amount of craziness around him growing even more and more (also 2018 was our first world cup in 20 years can you imagine loool. And he played a big part in that qualification. Now we're here but look what we were even 5 years ago...and what we were when he joined back then...yeah anyway). Like, look at him now when Morocco train, he's always subjected to a lot of media attention etc. Moroccans love him, don't worry about a few of them on twitter. YEAH I love to see him there. I always think how he didn't get to go until he was in his teen years which is so so so sad, a lot of maghrebis can't afford trips to visit more often and it's heartbreaking.) ... to see him in Morocco is. Special. ♡♡ To see so many of them home!!!! Either Marrakech or around in their places of origin, I was watching Sabiri's latest ig stories and mashallah. It makes me so emotional. As if they kinda decided to be there at the same time. 😭I miss it so much i can't wait to be back inchallah.

I'll put the rest under shortcut

yeah the narrative of muslim players x a muslim country it does seem to me like being part of a developing plan. At this rate I wouldn't be surprised if Saudi will truly be competitive in a few years time, now we're joking about it but - it seems way different than MLS now or what China tried to do years ago. You know, I do have conflicting thoughts about it- bc on one hand I agree with you, it is upsetting given the high percentage of poverty in Saudi. A country with so much money and so much power in the hands of a few oligarchs... of course leaning on those players' religion seems like a big fallacy. But then again, you have the same oligarchs in the US, in England, in China, in Russia (and nobody gave a shit about it before the war) in the very heart of Europe... also billionaires, rich, powerful, investors in every major top league. And so you do wonder if somehow we're also being affected by the same double standards. When Arab people tell you: after everything Europe has done, it's our turn, why are we the only ones subjected to your moral standards? - When you put it that way, can you blame them? As a Muslim you get upset because again, I totally understand your feelings and they are also mine. But I also wonder about these stuff, you know

WHICH WELL I guess it also applies to this white girl on tumblr (not kidding I tried to find their blog bc I was so curious fodjsha) are we have to blame players for going Saudi? What about players who are paid by Saudis in Europe? Bohely's bought part of Strasbourg - what about players payed by americans in Europe? Arsenal is owned by an american who both financed trump and israel - are we have to blame arsenal players too? These double standards are just....unreal to me really. It's so easy to blame one part of the world and dismiss what happens in the heart of your own continent or your own part of the world. White privilege as its finest.

Players ain't to blame. You can question their decisions and whatever but they are just players in this system - lots of them grew up poor and weren't born into the massive privilege these multi billionaires were born into. And i'm sure they are gonna love putting all the blame to Muslim players for going Saudi - what can you do, shit white people do.

thank u for writing to me anon! sorry for the long reply ghgh

[onlyjaeyun]

Honestly, I'm not even a damn singer, and if Enhypen was all you wanna feature on our song, my ass would have came up with a verse, like maybe it's just praise kink coming out, but I would want to impress who I'm working with since you think you would want your feature to add something to a song, not just sing over the original song, like this ain't karaoke babes. I feel like the perfect song length is like 3:40, not too short, not too long, but all Hybe is making lately is like 2:20, like I think they are allergic to making long good songs, the longest song on both &Team's album and Enhypen's together is 3:48, and it's not even a real song, it's the prologue Mortal. Like War Cry is even shorter than Sweet Venom, like you don't have time to jam or get into the song, you get the vibe and just boom over, give us longer songs, like it's ridiculous, not every song needs to be short so it's easier to stream. I saw a Sweet Venom line distribution video, and it was probably the worst one I've personally seen for Enhypen; like Sunghoon got like 8 seconds, Jungwon got 10, Jake got 14, Niki got 15, Sunoo got 16, Jay got 18, and Heeseung got 46. Like I get it Heeseung main vocal, but you telling me the others couldn't have each hit one of those swee-hee-hee-t venom-nom-nom. Like War Cry is somehow better distributed with 9 members, despite Fuma getting only 4 seconds, Jo who has the most only got 22. Honestly, it do seem like that, like Enhypen with Bella, TXT with Anitta, and BTS with Sia. I honestly just want one question for Hybe regarding the next comeback, Chamber 5 studio version when, since it was just a cute song, and I think we need it, like Chamber 5 mv and all, I know Sunghoon would probably hate it seeing how he hated when Sunoo picked him to perform it, but that Chamber 5 dance practice with them dressed like fruits lives rent free in my mind, and we need a studio version. Also you listening to 10 Months while writing angst reminds me how I wrote this sad fic while listening to this song called Heartbeat by Carrie Underwood on repeat the whole time. Like the song is all 'I love the way you look in a firefly glow', 'dancing to the rhythm of your heartbeat' meanwhile I'm writing "No matter how long it took, even if he never found his way back to you again, you would never love another, and your heart would always ache for him, the one you believe is genuinely your one true love."

i wholeheartedly agree with the first part! i feel like ever since not only enha's but also new jeans' debut they've been making their new groups' songs shorter and shorter but i just dont get why? there was still so much potential in sweet venom as well as bite me so why not add another verse and make the song just thirty seconds longer??? i honestly dislike this wave of short songs like let me have at least 3 minutes to enjoy ???? i cant even get into the groove bc by the time i do it's already finished?💀 but yeah, genuinely wishing for their future tt's to bw a tad bit lobger to make the line distribution a little fairer 💔 i love love love jungwon's and hoonie's voices and would have loved to hear them more but we got them in still monster so i'm super happy (plus jay got to shine a lot this time and it makes me so 🥺 bc his voice is kind of my fave? but yeah)

also personally i just know those features are nothing but a way to promote bc she wasnt bad or anything but she also didnt add anything to the song imo 😭 i liked their harmony but that's it? she didnt even get a verse (which makes sense as the so g is so short already) but looking at proper collabs from their seniors like bts x nicki minaj it's just kinda disappointing but expected atp

and omg i love listening to happy songs when i write angst bc it kinda makes me write it even sadder than it is LMAO

[blupengu]

Oh my god I just finished Lucas’s route… oh my god I’m so mmmmmmmm I don’t even know bruh y’all oh my god 😂 big fat spoilers for virche and long ramblings as usual under the cut

Oof where do I even begin my word vomit like, ?!??!??!?!?!?? The funniest thing to me is still the fact that they they didn’t bother trying to hide him being Bourreau with the exact same fucking sprite poses lmao, but I guess that wasn’t really the mystery

CAPUCINE BETTER WATCH THE FUCK OUT THOUGH IT’S ON SITE 🔫🔫 (and whoever this mysterious benefactor is… better not be some shit like, it was Salome all along lmao)

Like okay I know Lucas is a lil extremely way cracked in the head in his despair ending (oh boy oh boy) but… he’s so pretty? When he’s in his Bourreau outfit and his hair is tied up?? Covered in blood??? Stab me harder please 👀 … Do I have a problem? Perhaps… but I’m just keeping true to my dubious taste in anime men 😌

You can’t give me a pretty character with long hair and blue eyes with a gentlemanly “oh ho” personality who’s such a sweetie, while everyone thinks he’s delicate but is secretly (obviously) super strong and very sus, and then tell me how super fucked up his situation is and *NOT* expect me to fall in love????? Boy you had me at the first “ehehe” laugh, you saint-germain-esque motherfucker, I 100% have a type in these games I am very predictable 😂

Aaaaaah I don’t wanna think about Nadia… 😩 girl, sweetie, honey, GIRL. Girl. Too good for this world. Too pure, too innocent… Girl I am so sorry you’re in this game LMAO jeez. I knew… I knew shit was gonna be bad, but oh I was so hoping it was not gonna go that way………. But with everything being all about despair you knew it was gonna happen…….. Big FMA fucking “big brother Edward” and oddly enough hatoful boyfriend vibes… I DID NOT WANT IT THOUGH NO I DON’T LIKE IT!! 😭 I am so scared about what Lucas’s salvation ending is gonna be now, and where it’ll start changing from this end… because BOY. IF THIS DOESN’T GET FIXED…! I am going to be so heartbroken, family in fiction just get me y’all ;-;

… God I know it’s not all gonna get fixed though, there’s just no way, there’s too much shit going on, something’s gotta give, especially in a game like this? If it was your normal otome game maybe, but… I don’t think Nadia’s making it… and honestly I wouldn’t be surprised if Lucas didn’t either… even if they both do, they’d barely be able to live another year so I can only see bittersweet endings lmao I’m very worried 😭😂 I NEED THAT FANDISK LOCALIZED NOW!!!

Also I did NOT expect Ankou to suddenly show up at the end?? Aight sir I see you, don’t worry you’re right behind Lucas for me… knowing he got his ass absolutely demolished by Lucas though is kinda hilarious, like I thought Ankou was gonna be some all powerful magic dude but nope. Lucas cut him into little bits LOOOL rip in pieces literally 💀 humanizes him surprisingly for me 🤔

And wtf was Ceres’s plan…? Like… hey lemme go die?? Hope Lucas snaps out of it after he stabs me??? GIRL PRETTY MUCH EVERYONE’S ALREADY DEAD. That’s such a shit plan how was Ankou okay with this 😂

At least uhhhh…. We’re his wife now………? Consolation prize… sorta…………?? 👀😬 yikes lmao but at least all his CGs are so pretty 😌

Wait I just checked his CGs actually… there’s… three left??? And 11/18 (oh shit that’s today’s date LOL). Oh yes, oh hell yes that means more for the salvation ending with variations, give me MORE!! I’m kinda sad now that the “good” endings are locked behind the final route… I need to know what the “good” ending is (BIG quotes around “good” lmao)

I’m gonna need to make one of those “do it for him” memes now to feel better, but I guess I’ll have to hold off until I get all his CGs LOL

OH MY GOD WAIT THERE WAS SO MUCH GOING ON I DIDN’T EVEN TALK ABOUT THE CAGE HOLY CRAP 😂 ah how could I forget?! Actually, after finishing his route I don’t have a lot to say about it… it was super hilarious when I first saw it and my only thought really was “not this shit again” lmao, but at least in this case it made more sense…

Ah okay I’m think I’m done venting… off to do Scien’s route next… maybe I’ll give Lucas a day to cook in my head though, this is the longest rambling text post I’ve ever done lmao… or maybe I’ll finish up the happy bits I have left to do from the even if tempest fandisk 😭

These two are so precious I can’t 😭

[sunatoru]

SOBSSOBSSOBSSOBS OK I MAY BE A MONTH LATE TO THIS BUT LISTEN MY HEART CAN'T HANDLE THE END SO SOON 😭 Also so many things happened and I've been trying to find the right moment and atmosphere to read the end yk? I'm still sorry for being so late to it bc of smth weird sksksjsksksk OK ANYWAYS—

Y/N IS HEALING SO NATURE IS ALSO HEALING BUT I FEEL SO BAD FOR HER LIKE GIRLY CAN'T EVEN GO OUT OF THE WATER WITHOUT THE TRAUMA ANDD IT'S SO SAD LIKE ACTUALLY— BUT I'M SO GLAD SHE'S GETTING HER LIFE BACK TOGETHER AND THE RELATIONS OF MERMAIDS AND SIRENS ARE GETTING BETTER 🥺 , my god it's so nice to see her a ok 🥲 I mean not AS ok as she was pre rin but yk and the way she's now more cautious of red flags and stuff like damn you know she was hurt BADLY for that, but at least her tail isn't a skinny chicken bone 😭😭😭 no more are the days of pirates and hurt, just yn doing cute yn things with her boyfie

SPEAKING OF HER BOYFIE, MERMAN KITA LET'S GOOOOOOOOOOOOO YES 100% THE BEST CHOICE I SUPPORT THIS DECISION and like it feels like I kinda added something to the final decision to have kita as the true luvr boy but if it's not true then let me live in a lie just this once 👉👈 okokok back to him, HE IS SO SWEET OMG LIKE GIVING HER DIFFERENT ROCKS LIKE C'MON— 😭 I JUST IMAGINE HIM ON LIKE A JOURNEY OR SMTH AND WHEN THE MER PEOPLE FROM OTHER KINGDOMS GIVE HIM SOUVENIRS HE ASKS FOR ANOTHER SET FOR HIS SIREN GF 🥺🥺🥺 ACK MY HEART— Gosh, the way he knew he should be cautious of Rin despite being long time best friends bc he acknowledged that what Rin did was shit and will absolutely hold it above him for the rest of time (probably) like Ugh can he BE anymore doting???? And don't get me started on how he waited for her to be comfortable with coming out of her shell again

THEN RINTAROU SUNARIN TAROUSUNA HOW'S IT BEEN???? I have major questions abt like what was he doing in the shack or maybe it's his now? Like maybe the woman wasn't actually a mer person who lives above water and she yk 💀 idk but anyways, I can't believe I felt smth when he put his hand on Y/N's cheek like GURL What I thinking but GOD I can feel the way he still loves her and regrets what he did all those years ago, how he inspected her face to see if there's any remnants of his past mistakes but also to remember the face he fell for so long aho and how stupid he was to ever cause pain to it (or not but that's my HC and I will die beside it) he is such a little wet napkin aksksksksk the way he was shocked when he saw Kita made me chuckle a bit to cope </333 but it's nice to know that he was really ready to lay down his life for forgiveness, it shows that he REALLY thought about what he did and I think that's admirable

THIS WHOLE SERIES WAS A ROLLER COASTER MAN, THE STAR CROSSED LOVERS STORY TURNING INTO A BETRAYAL THRILLER AND FINALLY TO A TALE (TAIL heh) OF HEALING AND PAST REGRETS I'M IN LOVE, How it started with a love you think could work if they fight for it hard enough to a love you think shouldn't be after the actions of one to a love you know could never be yet something that could teach someone the importance of cherishing those you care about no matter your selfish desires. MAN THIS STORY IS MAKING ME SPOUT OUT POET SADNESS like actually it's just such a nice story and the fact that it doesn't end with them getting back together the right way this time gives it a sense of bittersweet endings, Rin might still love her but YN loves Shin now, yet that doesn't mean the love she had for Rin was something she'd forget about, it was part of who she is today and the times when they truly did seem in love were happy moments. YN understanding that her experiences changed her for better or worse, but it taught her so much and it led her to Shin. This feels so bittersweet and I can't have it any other way :) This series is amazing and I hope you continue to write in ways that could invoke the old man writing with a feather pen in an old study in people (specifically me)

P.S ACK OK I WANNA SAY AGAIN THAT I'M SORRY FOR BEING LATE BUT I KNEW THE SECOND IT WAS POSTED BUT HAVE BEEN PUTTING IT OFF BC IT'S THE END END LIKE 😭😭😭 My heart— And and I decided to not ask on anon bc of the last ask I sent so 👉👈 I MEAN It feels so good to like be brave enough to yk be known but like I was also scared like how am I gonna prove it's actually me 💀 but I decided to just do it :)) AND ONE MORE THING I really do wanna reblog this series to my hearts contents but I feel bad for endlessly reblogging stories while I still don't have a masterlist cause I imagine people seeing smth I write and going to my blog to see what else I write and having to scroll through a mountain's worth of reblog just to get to my little pool of drabbles 😭 But I'm working on that masterlist so uh watch out for them reblogs from yours truly 💕 Anyways,see you in the next Suna redemption arc maybe 🙏

WAAAAAAAAAA IM SORRY I DISAPPEARED AND LEFT THIS ASK TO COLLECT DUST IN MY INBOX!!!! ALSO VERY NICE TO MEET YOU OFF OF ANON!

ngl you kinda did give me the idea to make yn get with kita 🤭🤭🤭 like after your asks i was like “omg… anon’s onto something holy shit” and their dynamic was so good 🥹

I ACTUALLY HAVE PLANS FOR MR MERMAID!SUNA but i think we (me) all need to be very patient before it gets released 😞 AND YOUR HC ABOUT HIM ARE KINDA SPOT ON WITH BOTDB CANON NGL, we will definitely see more of him, his past and the years without yn soon 🥸

thank you so much for your constant kind asks and the length is always huge omg (in a good way) it makes me so happy and excited to keep writing!! LIKE GENUINELY YOUR ASKS WERE ONE OF MY BIGGEST MOTIVATORS FOR BOTTOM OF THE DEEP BLUEEEEE THANK YOU SO MUCH AAAAAAA

[slytherinshua]

Sorry I meant to reply to your last message (I have a terrible habit of being social and then go radio silent for like a week after ahaha). I listened to a few of Hyunsang's songs and oh my goodness, genuinely is he ok?? They were really good and I loved them, but all the ones I heard were so sad?? Does he need a hug?? Who do I have to beat up?

Your post about people is so true though, it's honestly so hard to make friendships (or even just be nice to some people tbh). Sometimes you just don't vibe with a person, but I don't think there's anything wrong with that. I mean irl, there is someone in my friend group who I just don't vibe with at all, but all of my friends really like him and enjoy hanging out w him. It is quite hard sometimes to be friendly ahaha (it does make me feel like a horrible person tbh, but what can you do? But I think the whole thing of how he got into our friend group is a bit strange. Without context it sounds bad, but I promise it is genuinely kinda weird lol). But definitely if you ever find that our convo is too dry or weird, don't hesitate to tell me!! I think sometimes you have to prioritise your comfort and if the other person is willing to change, then that's probably a good sign!

I hope you are doing well! (I watched another clip from a Lucy concert and got jealous of you again 😡)

lol don’t worry at all!! LMAO STOP IJBOL 😭😭😭 it’s so true whenever i listen to hyunsang im like WHAT HAPPENED TO THIS BOY?? imagine debuting with an ep titled “my poor lonely heart” AND EXPECTING PPL TO THINK UR FINE DIDJKS 😭😭 and if you watch any live performances or his covers HIS EYES LOOK SO SAD WHILE HE SINGS LIKE HE COULD CRY AT ANY MOMENT ☹️☹️☹️ so literally when he smiles I melt so much cause I’m not used to it anyway he’s so cute and I love him and his emo music and pretty voice 🥹🥹

yeah I feel it a lot lately cause I always want to be nice to everyone especially if they talk to me on my blog but if we don’t click after a bit of talking I feel awkward 😭😭😭 and they’ll keep messaging me and then idk what to do cause the conversations are literally like “hi hru” “I’m good wbu” AND THATS IT 💀💀💀 damn that must suck I’m sorry that’s a thing 😭😭 it’s even harder when it’s a friend group situation cause you can’t just stop talking to one person if they still have connections to all your other friends and you also can’t bring it up with your other friends cause they won’t see the problem :( but don’t worry our convos have been anything but dry since you first sent me an ask 🥹🥹 I love talking abt lucy or anything else with you I could do it all day lmao

I’m doing pretty good!! I have my first piano lesson in like 2 days.. I’m really nervous for it because it’s my first one in over a year since I took a break and it’s with a new teacher. I had lessons with her for a bit in 2020 but they were mostly over zoom because of covid. these ones are in person and I haven’t had in person lessons since 2019 🧍‍♀️ I also haven’t practiced piano since last year when I was taking lessons and even then I feel like I didn’t practice at all between lessons cause I was losing motivation.. so realistically I probably haven’t practiced properly and consistently for 2 years fml 😭😭 but hopefully everything will go well. I’m hoping I’ll like this teacher again I don’t really remember having an opinion on her when I had her 4 years ago, but I remember switching back to my old piano teacher who had moved to England since I was doing online lessons anyway. I’ve had her for around 6 years total so I’m very comfortable with her she’s basically made me the pianist I am today lol. but I think in person lessons would be beneficial which is why I’m trying this out instead.

I have nothing to help you about the jealousy but I did get the group photo back recently (kinda sad they didn’t give us 2 cause we did take 2 and I was so nervous when the first pic was taken that I didn’t have a pose and sangyeop was telling me that he was gonna do a flower pose and I didn’t know wtf a flower pose was until a day later when it clicked in my head LKSJSKS) but I am the one w the pink heart and yes I was RIGHT next to sangyeop and wonsang aka my bias and wrecker skdjsksk how did I survive

[ishikawayukis]

after two freaking long and busy months, I’m back to talk about OP✌🏽✨

el trauma fue grande la verdad JAJAJA todavía nada me ha hecho llorar como marineford, keyword todavía porque ay dios ya me veo JAJAJAJAJAJA

no literal, porque como básicamente ✨I’m binge-watching✨ hay momentos que yo digo “siento que hace unos cuantos arcos atrás mencionaron algo de esto” and it’s crazy bc when you connect those episodes (most of the time with the help of recaps too lol) you’re like “damn, Oda WAS cooking”

LITERAL YO ASÍ DE “ojalá Law me salvé a mi niño” Y MÁS QUE- ay no te vayas a reír de mí pero, la vida me dijo que me iba a volver loca y yo dije “pues voy a ver one piece para no volverme tan loca” y que ya estoy en Whole Cake Island😶‍🌫️ JAJAJAJJAAJJAJAJAJAJA BELLE I MIGHT HAVE A PROBLEM AND I MIGHT CRY IN THIS ARC TOO I CAN FEEL IT AJSJWJ- ✨en fin✨ después del mini susto al inicio de Punk Hazard, estoy tan feliz de que Law se haya aliado con Luffy y que ya básicamente sean amigos por siempre aunque finja negarlo🫶🏽🫶🏽🫶🏽 my favorite emo boy with emotional issues fr

I’m hoping that Mackenyu does come out with more merch for season 2 bc Chopper and Robin merch?? PLEASE I NEED THAT (hasta podría sacar merch para Ace, por favor Mackenyu las posibilidades son infinitas, mente visionaria okay? JAJAJA)

literally the more episodes I watch the more I feel like I could write an essay about the different friendship dynamics between them and why they are all so strong and special in their own way: Zoro diciéndole a Luffy que no pueden volver a perder en Punk Hazard, Luffy diciéndole a Franky sin dudar que él podía comerse la fruta de Ace y Brook admirando el buen corazón de Sanji en Zou- I can talk and cry about each dynamic and I won’t take any slander against them🔪🔪🔪

BELLE LOS POSTERS AAAAAAAA- cuando sacaron los nuevos posters y vi el de Sanji mi mente dijo “JUSTO LO QUE LE DIJE A BELLE” AND THEN I READ IT SAID ONLY ALIVE AND I WAS LIKE HOLY SH*T WAIT WHAT IS THIS????

I swear everything was so cruel, but at least after Fishman Island it started being more emotionally healing bc seeing how much they all improved?? me sentí tan orgullosa de ellos<3 (aunque me hayan empezado a blanquear a Robin, Zoro y Usopp😔💔) and Sanji was so silly that man almost died out of true joy JAJAJAJA y casi me mata al Chopper pero de estrés también😂😭 and then it all became sad and cruel again with Dressrosa🤡😭 pero ay no, yo sentí que fue más largo que Alabasta en serio por un momento dije “ya no más por favor” JAJAJAJAJAJA but at least we got Barto and some Corazon flashbacks 🥹🫶🏽

Hoy ya puedo ver esos edits de Ace con la canción y apreciarlos como debe de ser JAJAJAJAJAJA in fact, I’m glad I can see more memes and stuff bc I’m slowly reaching Wano but it’s also getting harder to not get spoiled so it kinda feels like a russian roulette when looking for memes/fanart 💀😭

under read more because i got a bit long too LMAO

no escupas al cielo q vas a terminar perdiendo AJJAJA no but i don't think anything made me cry as much as marine ford did tbh, i'm thinking about all the arcs post time skip and if anything i was just Stressed LMAO

LLEGASTE A WHOLE CAKEEEEEE omg i am no one to judge or say anything because i did watch it at an incredibly fast pace too LMAO and not to be sanji biased (but i am) but whole cake is literally one of my fave arcs, i suffered a lot with it but man it's just so good. literally the only arc where i can tell you the specific episodes that fucked me up LSKDHGL y laaaaaaaaw no te mentiré cuando lo vi en punk hazard siendo un maldito dije ay no me lo cambiaron de bando, pero era todo una mentira AJAJAJ su alianza es literal lo mejor :')

NO EXACTOOOOOO, ya sean sutiles o no todas las relaciones entre los strawhats son tan importantes y ahí tienes a estúpidos q sólo se fijan en quien es más fuerte like who caaaaaaaares!!! i'm gonna join you writting that essay because Man, i have so many thoughts

NO BUT THAT WAS MY REACTION WITH THE NEW ONES i saw sanji's and was like oh my god what a fucking loser i love him and then like wait... wait a Second what do you mean only alive is this gonna be addressed because what do you MEAN (it was you know it since you're in wc already LMAO)

ver a todos como mejoraron en fmi es demasiado bonito pq de verdad valieron los dos años lejos aunq hayan sido lo peor :') dressrosa is ridiculously long i think it's the arc that took me the longest because i was like please....... please Enough with the flashbacks we get it please let's just move ooooon. i think that part of that is that everything happens within one day so a minute is literally one episode and i was like what is this hunterxhunter?? but the introduction of barto and cora were honestly worth it (even if cora made me cry LMAO)

es tan difícil evitar los spoilers al final, ahora yo estoy entregada a spoilearme con el manga pq es casi inevitable con lo metida q estoy AJAJA

[yuyu-bi]

…this is probably the best episode of the sopranos that I’ve probably ever watched and that’s saying a lot because I’m just really sitting here watching their relationship just like deteriorate in front of me over a freaking rumor that actually is not true for once and I think that’s fantastic but for real like this episode is not really how I thought it would go at all 😭😭

it’s literally like mean girls esque and i’m not even kidding bro w how this rumour spread through out the ranks from now on when men say that women are incredibly dramatic and they overexaggerate I’m gonna direct them to this particular episode because this is a class example of someone really going off the rails but christopher is 100% valid in thinking that something might’ve happened between like Tony and Adriana because it’s is sus but this episode was also so weirdly set up though where all of a sudden tony had more of an interest and feelings for adriana and vice versa and they both started having more of an interest in each other and ofc this happens while christopher was away on a run but him being paranoid and embarrassed by this is so true and real i dont blame him 💀 like why *were* they driving home at two in the morning and like they got into an accident in the middle of nowhere 🤨 and tony telling him otherwise and him just not believing him is also valid bc tony literally sluts around and everyone knows it even praises him for it!!!! gross lmao

i do think he’s going about it a very incredibly dramatic way but i’m surprised and also kinda sad that this is the one thing that made him relapse because the thing is he was actually doing a good job at not being annoying at all like in this season at all like granted this is only five episodes in, but I think he went to rehab like halfway through season four and like maybe came back like a couple episodes or even like the very next episode, but he was fine like he really was not bothering me at all or annoying me he was like very bearable actually especially w all the other shit happening in season four but i didn’t think he was gonna call Tony out I thought he was just gonna shy away from it bc like he looks up to him and everything

but I guarantee you probably at the end of this episode there they will have no relationship 💀💀 he cannot come back from this bro he like shot up his fucking car while drunk see I personally don’t really think he’s fully relapsed until he starts do drugs again which will probably happen it’s just so messy 😭 even w the crew playing telephone w all these rumors even getting uncle jun the dementia patient involved and my dude bobby 😭😭😭 gentle giant bobby participating in this like noooo

personally i would argue that Tony didn’t go far enough in trying to prove to him that nothing happened like they weren’t doing anything because he was just like ‘i know what you’re thinking it wasn’t true’ and i’m like you’re not really convincing at all dude 💀 and like christopher like just like straight up just like told him he was like a manwhore like he was just like you’ve been ‘snatching cooze’ like the last like four or five years 🤣🤣 that was actually really awesome of him not gonna lie like I absolutely loved him for that bc is he wrong??? absolutely not and tony didn’t even say anything to him about it

poor adriana though :( she was literally just in an accident w a neck brace having to deal with all of this of all things but it does make me wonder if he’s actually going to die 💀 but yeah I just don’t want to see the aftermath of this he literally shot up tony’s car and went inside the bar and continued going like 💀 I don’t even think he had bullets in the gun, but he was just like waving the gun around 😭 i will say he really did like have to drink to do all that it was insanely out of character for him but how did reach his breaking point so 🤠

he might be my favorite character now lmaooo