#I feel like my mom is going to be able to remember mark
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sluttyten · 2 years ago
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my outfit for the dream concert on Friday is finally all put together, and I have ideas for makeup (but I suck at doing my makeup), and I still don’t know what to do with my hair or what shoes I’m wearing
and earlier I told my mom (since she’s going with me) that I’m going to sit her down at some point this week and make her watch some of those unhelpful guide YouTube videos like I watched when I was getting into nct, so she can learn their names at least 😂
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nexus-nebulae · 3 months ago
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another childhood bucket list item obtained: i finally have a snuggie
#and it's the real thing not even a knockoff#kinda surprised they still exist#but also not surprised bc Blanket. blanket is universal#i just remember a lot of those As Seen On Tv ads like. imploding within 5 years#they still do As Seen On Tv products like there are still boxes marked with that logo it almost feels wrong like an ancient relic#bc most like. ubiquitous 2000s brands from my childhood are just Gone or at least so fundamentally changed it's not the same thing#heard about like 50 more companies going bankrupt probably in the last year alone#anyway ive always wanted a snuggie it's one of those Always Wanted things that never go away#others include: staples easy button (obtained!); mini fridge (not); pillow pet (i had a knockoff once); power drill (not)#i spent a surprising amount of my childhood actually going out of my way to buy stuff i could use in my own apartment in the future#i grew up lower middle class and then just lower class#so like. i always Knew i couldn't just furnish the whole apartment at once i Knew I'd have to build stuff up over time#also bc when my sister got kicked out she had like. nothing. in her trailer. and i did not want to have nothing#i knew if dad was willing to just toss out my sister like that i would absolutely follow suit#and i did! two years younger than my sister when she was!#it just happened that my mom didn't want me homeless at FOURTEEN when i legally could not work for two more years#so she went with me and we lived with my grandma#so take that dad. turns out throwing family members out willy nilly makes the rest of your family not trust you or like you!#and now i get to rub it in his face that HE can't function in a house by himself and still needs to beg my mom to clean up after him#bc i spent so much of my childhood getting berated and called lazy for not doing chores#getting told stuff like 'you have to function by yourself your parents can't always pick up after you'#and then he's literally useless without his wife#he's not disabled and he's not neurodivergent he's never even had a serious health scare he just doesn't bother to learn how to clean#his excuse is that he doesn't know how to use the washer and dryer (it has been almost ten years fucker. learn)#or he doesn't know which cleaning products to use (you have google and a library card. LOOK IT UP)#he's the only person i get mad at for this behaviour bc he's a fucking hypocrite and a child abuser about it too#he is the exception to my rule of everyone needs to be given the space to get things done where they're able and deserve help when needed#and I'll bend over backwards to make excuses for other people so i DONT exclude them from my rule i will try to find every good reason first#he has no fucking excuse though he made two teenagers nearly homeless bc he thought we were too lazy and then he's even worse
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rotthepoet · 4 months ago
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Need theo and lorenzo head cannons 😔
Good morning sweet pookie, i gotchu!! I needed a little break after that threesome so I did some random, some silly, some fluffy, and some smutty, kay? It’s really just a big brain dump on how I characterize the boys <3 Hope you enjoy, love ;)
P.s. if I have any reoccurring anon’s, if you want me to differentiate you, please feel free to assign yourself an emoji <3 unspoken rule i thought i’d say out loud
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Theodore Nott
I agree with literally everyone on this app, he is a smarty pants, but i refuse to believe he sits down and studies
It’s not that he doesn’t care about his grades, he just doesn’t have to try to get good marks. Queen absorbs information like a sponge and retains that shit forever. Doesnt have to waste time with a boring textbook because he commits everything to memory.
That being said, he will remember everything about you. Your favorite movie you mentioned in passing, he saw you eat something particular multiple times he can infer its your favorite and will buy it for you often, he knows your habits, your aspirations, your desires. All of it. Does it for his close friends and lovers <3
Huge smoker. Like. Oral fixation final boss. Needs to have something to smoke or at least chew on at all times
I mentioned before how I think Mattheo and him laugh at people who vape, but Theodore Nott is a two faced LIAR and actually keeps a menthol alto with him at all times. For convenience sake. If you ask him, it’s different because its not a fun lil fruity flavor.
Speaking of Mattheo, those two are best friends. Like ride or die. Like. These two are bread and butter, inseparable and delicious.
Will internalize everything. This is why he gets so worked up and fights people. It may seem like him getting pissy over nothing, but this boy has some unresolved trauma and unmedicated issues.
Theo has ADHD prove me wrong and fuck you for trying(jk love you, but i will die on this hill.) severe anxiety issues, def some depression going on, hes working through some shit.
Theo can process a lot of stimulus at the same time. Watching him hold 3 steady conversations while reading a novel at the same time is a sight to behold.
Smokes weed a lot too. Mostly bud, but he’s smart and keeps a cart on him too for quick bathroom breaks when he needs to chill tf out. It slows down all the thoughts racing around his head. Lets him relax. Lets him feel peace. Let him feel comfortable. He’s been searching for that feeling his whole life.
Mommy and daddy issues check?
Anyways!
Theo is a player, and its not even because he tries to be.
Girls flock towards him, and he needs an outlet.
Sex is a good outlet.
Sex and drugs? Now we’re cooking
He doesn’t care much for the dating scene, didn’t think he was cut out for it. Bad home life. No mom. Depressed and emotionally distant evil dad. Friends and his family are all death eaters? Causes some bad views on relationships as a whole.
Omg but when he falls in love it takes forever but its so hard. Its so devastatingly hard.
It goes from “wow they really make me happy” to “omfg i need to marry them they make me feel complete and comfortable and it feels like i can finally be myself around someone this is the feeling i have been searching for my whole life” really fast when he falls
He’d never love at first sight. Refuse it. He might think someone is pretty or handsome, but he won’t ever describe it as love at first sight.
100% friends to lovers
He’s a quality time kinda guy i think
Just likes co-existing really
Stay in the room with him in silence as he reads and hes so golden
But that will bump up several notches and enjoy every other love language too
He wants to make you love him. He’ll do anything for you. Buy anything for you. Tell you everyday how wonderful you are
He’s being so genuine too
His friends would know
He never shuts up about you
If you had never spoken to his friends, never met them, they’d be able to come up to you in a grocery store and say “oh. You’re <you>, right?”
And dear god he genuinely cries a little in relief when you finally say yes
He’s buried his face in your hair and hugging you so tightly and he tries not to cry because he finally has everything he needs in his arms
He’s such a good boyfriend
Will never question you(at least not at first or without good reason)
Literally worships the ground you walk on
Will apologize first immediately after every meaningless petty fight
Thats different about real fighting though. Stubborn ass bitch
Anyways
Dotes on you everyday
Calls you so many sweet names in Italian
Has an Italian accent but sometimes tries a British accent to throw everyone off.
Argues in italian
Lowkey hates snow
Runs super cold so loves lovvesss hot weather
Will take you to Italy over the summer
Demands you go
Fucks you on the balcony of his family home
Fucks you stupid on the beach
Sorry where was I going with this
Ah yes anyways
Runs super cold so like is a big fan of cuddles. Lots of sweaters for you to steal
He likes turning cuddles into more slow and intimate things
Slowly fingering you as you spoon
Cockwarming in the morning or late at night<3
So much worship.
So much
Just adores you.
Loves fast rough sex but honestly could go on about slow love making for hours
Literally cant stand American reality tv
The biggest kardashian hater
Knows all the gossip because he’s quiet and listens
Doesnt care to share it though
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Lorenzo Berkshire
Bitchboy extraordinaire
If I met Lorenzo Berkshire he would become #1 on my shitlist so fast
I called theo a two faced liar as a joke
But Enzo actually is one
Literally puts on the nicest mask for pretty girls, but every ex, and every guy in hogwarts knows he’s a conniving bitch behind closed doors
One of the richest in the group and it shows
Flaunts his money everywhere he goes
His ears are pieced
Also he likes having his ears bitten it can make him hard as a rock in seconds
Dates, but it usually only lasts a month and Hes the worst boyfriend ever
Dumps them whenever he gets bored
But omg when a person gives him his attitude back
Well first he gets even meaner
But also he likes you so much like… that was hot
And if you ignore his existence? On you like a moth to a flame
Craves attention
Such an attention seeker
Still will fight, isn’t very good, but will try
100% a prefect
Showers his pookie with so much love and attention
When he finally gets the person he wants, hes on top of them 24/7
Never a hand straying to far
Literally obsessed
Big fan of exhibitionism
Will fuck uou on the train, the bathrooms, the common room, the classroom
Its all fair game
Would love to see you all tied up in pretty ribbons for his birthday
Ass man 100%
Likes to just get a fistfull while you hug or cuddle
Mattheo and him are the biggest gossipers
Has like 4k followers on instagram because hes so pretty
Father and mother are hirh death eaters. Does anyone know Berkshire lore because i def dont
Like fr can someone explain him to me
Pairs well with anyone in the grouo, really
Gets along especially with Theo or Mattheo
Amazing at card games, and says he’s amazing at chess too. Hes not.
Literally refuses to snack, says it’ll ruin his physique
On the quidditch team much like everyone else he’s friends with
Slays at herbology
Maybe a bit of a smoker? Not often, and def more weed than tobacco
Light weight for reals
Like severely light weight
He’s the laughingstock of the friend group for it
Him and Mattheo have a running bet on who can fuck the most women
Omg omg omg because they so do the alphabet challenge im so sorry but its factual
Lorenzo is currently winning with 15/26 letters in the alphabet but Mattheo isnt too far behind
Its because Lorenzo is so charming and Mattheo…. Is himself.
Anyways back to being his significant other
Will spoil you
Relentlessly
Lowkey expects head in return but that will wear ofd eventually
109% more likely to start a fwb situation than anything else
Treats you like a girlfriend this whole time
Kisses you sweetly, holds uou close when you sleep, mumbles about how special you are
Just being a girlfriend without the title because then it gets too weird
Loses his shit if you get tired of trying and break it off
Genuinely ballistic if he loses you
Will pull as many favors and as many strings as he can to get yiu back
Seriously considers murder for a while
Anyways he gets you back baby<3
Speaking of babies hes super good with kids
Look at that face
Amazing dad face
Scared of marriage lmao
Bad parents. Fucked up views on relationships
Its a thing for all of them tbh
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thelonelyempath · 4 months ago
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Pregnancy Prompts
1. "Your boobs got bigger. What? I'm your boyfriend/husband. I'm allowed to stare at them."
2. "Well I peed on the stick and it told me I'm pregnant..."
3. "I hear so many women talk about pregnancy glow. I'm not glowing at all! I feel ugly and gross!"
4. "Yeah the dick was great, but was it really that worth it?"
5. "You've been doing nothing but throwing up and eating ice chips. Are you sure you're feeling okay?"
6. "I can't remember the last time I was able to see my feet."
7. "Nothing in that closet fits me anymore!"
8. "I farted and it smelled like a mix of pickles and rotten eggs. Miracle of life, am I right?"
9. "I'm just scared I'm gonna make a bad mom/dad."
10. "You did say you wore a condom, right?"
11. "This little one's gonna have lots of aunties and uncles."
12. "If it's a boy, we should name him ____. If it's a girl, we should name her ____."
13. "So you're a little heavier than you were six months ago. Who cares? I still love you."
14. "I cannot be pregnant. I don't know how to interact with kids. I don't even know how to change a diaper!"
15. "Every single time I think I'm excited to have a baby, my brain, without fail, remembers things like blowouts and peeing a little every time you sneeze exist."
16. "This idiot showed up to my baby shower with a bottle of wine as a gift for me."
17. "I swear to god it feels like the baby is using my bladder as a stress ball."
18. "My boobs hurt, I can't stop crying, I'm horny all the time, and I'm sweating in places I didn't even know had sweat glands!"
19. "I guess we can say goodbye to restful sleep for a little bit."
20. "Was that a kick? It felt like a kick!"
21. "I can't tell if my water broke or I just peed myself."
22. "I'll be happy with a boy or a girl, just as long as it vaguely resembles me."
23. "Relax, you'll be a great mom/dad."
24. "Does this mean we have to get married?"
25. "I'm curious about the whole having-sex-to-try-and-induce-labor thing."
26. "Look at me. You're gonna be okay."
27. "I'm pretty much a good sneeze away from going into labor."
28. "These stretch marks are ugly."
29. "The baby likes when you sing to him/her."
30. "Any Junior name is off-limits."
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thoughtsforsoob · 10 months ago
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ways he shows he loves you - stray kids
a/n: I want to write more to stray kids so here you go! I know I have a bunch of request at the moment and while I do plan on getting to them, I have to allow myself some freedom to create what I want as well! please enjoy and as always, requests are open and so is my 200 event!! (omg im past 300 now and I am so incredibly grateful! thank you so freaking much!)
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bang chan - taking you home
I feel like chan considers taking you home as a huge step in your relationship, since ehe seems to love home so much.
he has a nice connection with his family so for you to go meet them means he's basically already planning the wedding
he likes to take you to places he remembers from when he was little (which are probably not too many places because he was just a little guy when he started training)
he also loves to make plans for you, his mom and his sisters hang out together
"you three go out! im paying for girls day"
he enjoys seeing pictures of his favorite people out, having fun together and getting along
the only thing he doesn't enjoy 100% is the teasing that collectively happens between you and his siblings against him but he doesn't;t mind it in the end because it just means you're comfortable with them and vice versa
and when he watches you and berry meeting for the first time...again...wedding bells are going off in his head
minho - supporting your hobbies
I don't see him as someone who is veery comfortable with just saying I love you all the time so he pressers to show it instead of say it
his way of doing so is by getting interested in your hobbies and most likely participating in them
lets just say you're a big fan of collection photo cards and trading! along with that, you also like to make bracelets for concerts! (lmao so cliche but this is what I can explain best! feel free to insert your own interests during the following!)
he definitely buys you albums all the time and when you don't pull him from a stray kids album, he rolls his eyes and keeps buying more until you pull him
he also loves watching you pack trades so he goes stationary shopping with you and buys you the cutest packing materials
he even packs a few trades for you and sneaks in a bunch of extra stickers and other freebies
he will also partake in bracelet making every time you attend a concert!
he loves sitting at the table, making bracelets with pretty beads (he insists on buying you the fancy glass beads for this project), watching a drama and eating snacks.
just seeing you happy and in your element and being able to support it is how he shows his love.
changbin - planning dates
idk about you guys but I feel like guys always leave it to their girlfriend to plan dates and come up with date ideas all the time
changbin is the exception
he knows all of the spots in the city and wants to take you to all of them eventually
he has a running list in a little journal he purchased when he first met you and started going on dates with you
he writes down the names of places he wants to take you to and crosses them out in highlighter when you eventually go so you can still see what he'd written down
he plans trips that vary anywhere from 2 weeks in LA to a evening picnic by the river
his favorite are "spontaneous dates" (in quotation marks because to him, no date is really spontaneous. he always puts some work into it, even if it's a late night run to the convenience store or a trip to the mall)
he's always navigating and making sure everything is perfect
his favorite part of the date is when you praise him for being so thoughtful and creative
he is so happy that he's impressing you and making you happy
he promises to himself that even when you both are old and grey, he's still going to sweet you off your feet with his amazing date ideas
hyunjin - remembers everything you tell him
(no bc...when people remember details about me I feel so happy)
anyways, he is such a good listener and pays attention to detail
whenever you mention something in passing, he makes a note of it mentally or if he knows he'll forget, he will write is down in his notes app
one example of this is during one exam season
2 weeks ago, you had told him bout your finals schedule and when it would start
on the first day, right at 6am he shows up with your favorite coffee order (or anything else if you don't drink coffee) and your favorite breakfast! along with a care package for the rest of finals!
the care package includes: two hoodies of his, you favorite candies, chips, ramyeon, and a couple other things he knew you'd find useful
he remember you telling him you had to get up at that hour to start getting ready for your 8am calc final
when he shows you, you damn near cry because of his thoughtfulness
he eats breakfast with you and makes sure your fueled up and able to focus on your test so you can ace it
the way he also thinks about you when he's out doing things like shopping
Oh I brought you back some eggs because I remember you said you didn't have anymore. also, this new toner because I noticed yours was running low last time I stayed the night."
jisung - never letting you pay
his love language is essentially paying for everything he can for you
if you deny him and tell him you're going to pay, just the thought of you doing something he is more than willing to do for yo has smoke coming out of his eyes like a cartoon character
oh boy and when you actually beat him and pay, he is red in the face
"sungie, I just paid for two coffee's. why are you all red like that?"
"I could've paid! now you have to let me pay for the next 100 things we get together!"
you roll his eyes at him when he makes these silly compromises with you and just rolls with it
for him, it's not that he thinks you can't pay for yourself because ehe knows you are more than capable
if anything, he's proud that his baby is an independent person and can take care of themselves
the reason he does it because he wants you to save your money and spend it on things for you and he wants to take care of you this being the best way he knows how
oh my god...
god forbid you buy him any gifts
he's all flustered and whining about how you shouldn't "waste your money" on him
after talking with him, he lets you pay sometimes but it's rare
felix - matching jewelry
it's all fun and games until you both get exposed...
before we go there, let's talk about how this started
for your first anniversary, Felix wanted to give you something special but had no ides what it should be
he was scrolling through TikTok one night and he came across a repost from you and it gave him the perfect idea
you reposed a couples post about a necklace with the bf's initial on it and he immediately got one made
you better believe hat we went to a famous custom designer and everything to get this made just the way he knew you'd love it
you gives it to you on your anniversary and to your surprise, not only do you have a "f" on your necklace, he get's a matching necklace with your initial on it...
he can't wear it out much but he always put's it on in private
one day...little sunshine over here has to leave to the airport with the group for an overseas concert and he forgets to take off the damn necklace...
"WHO IS (y/i)?" stays are going wild online and trying to find out who it is
from now on, Felix is more careful but now everyone knows his secret :0
seungmin - bring affectionate in front of others
look, this boy is not very affectionate, much less in front of other people
he's a very 'behind closed doors' type of person
when it comes to you though...he's not afraid to show his affection
the first time you noticed it was when he first invited you to meet his member at the dorm for dinner and movie night
he picked you up and brought you inside
you greet all of the members but right afterwards, he immediately just starts to cling to you
he has a hand on your thigh during dinner and during some shot periods, he's actually straight up holding your hand while eating
the boys look at him like he's finally gone insane and you're looking at him with such a confused expression
finally, jeongin of all people, breaks the silence
"hyung? I know you like (y/n) a lot but you're not letting her eat by holding her hand."
his face goes red because he's been caught and he lets go of your hand, putting a low apology to you
when the movie portion of the night comes around, he insists on your sitting right on his lap but if you decline, he is sitting so close next to you that he's literally going to merge into your body
jeongin - sharing clothing/shopping with you
(cw: I know not everyone feels comfy with the idea of sharing clothes for whatever reason and it's totally valid so I made two different options here!)
as we all know, jeongin loves fashion and anything that has to do with it
it's only natural that he wants to involve you into his hobby!
he wants to dress you up all the time!
sometimes, he'll drag you to his room and start to pick items from his closet to replace what you're already wearing...
you have to glare at him so he won't change your whole outfit
he also loves to take you shopping!
he walks into every store with you and asks your opinion on everything because he knows you're actually the one wearing it so you have to like these items too!
shopping can be a very stressful and traumatic experience for some people (ME!)
he understands if this is the case for you and tries his best to give you all the time you need and not overwhelm you with trying too many things on at once and not showing you 101 options all at once
if you don't like how something fits, he will never pressure you to show him anyway
he also never pressures you to go shopping if you're not in the correct headspace for it
there is always assurance from him that no matter what, he loves the way you look in clothes you both pick together!
he also loves to take ootd pics of you and he lets you take his!
he def never pressures you to do this either if you don't wanna
his soft launch of you is a pick of your latest ootd together but your face has a cute little fox sticker over it :D
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unveranosinseb0514 · 5 months ago
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The Hill House - Prologue
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Pairing: Sebastian Vettel x fem!reader; Fernando Alonso x fem!reader; Mark Webber x fem!reader; Jenson Button x fem!reader.
Tw: Fluff, smut eventually, age gap (slightly big, reader's on her 20s), a little oc!everybody but some stuff are pretty accurate and don't ask me how I know, pet names, small talk about sexual experiences, maybe use of 'y/n' a few times, MINORS DNI!!!, that's it for now!
Words: 4.0K...or something like that
THH Masterlist
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"Dad?!" I asked a little loudly, sitting on my bed with several clothes spread out, the open suitcase on my lap revealed what I was doing.
I always ended up fumbling with clothes, the room looked like a hurricane had passed through, but I decided to just ignored that fact and went back to folding the clothes, since i was little, I was completely clumsy with this kind of things, and we didn't even travel that much.
"Yes sweetie?!" I could hear my dad's voice, somewhat muffled because it was far away, coming from hus room which was diagonal to mine, on the other side of the hallway "What's wrong?"
"Do you know where I put-" I began to speak slowly, distracted, looking under the bed.
"Your slippers?" he asked as if he had suddenly read my mind. Couldn't help but laugh "Yeah...how did you know?"
"You always forget, and yesterday you gave them of to me and made sure I reminded you not to forget them...did you forgot that?" he appeared with an affectionate smile on his lips, offering the red slippers.
"What would I do without you? Thank you!" I thanked him lovingly, sending a dramatic kiss on the air as soon as I picked what he brought me, placing it inside the suitcase, happily.
We were going on vacation, stay for a month in the big house on the hill, it has been in my family for ages, Mediterranean style, it is beautiful in any season, specially the one's that were warm when the sun is up and cold when the sun is down, it's practically a cabin isolated from everything and everyone, brought a certain peace, and since my older brother left home, we never went there again, even though we liked it and had gotten used to it, we have great memories of my mother there, I shared the same feelings as my father and we didn't thought it was as fun with just two people, although we loved the company from one another. We became extremely close after my mom passed away and now we are like flesh and blood.
Right now, i was on summer vacation from college, my father saw this as the perfect opportunity to travel, he has worked with Formula One forever, all I remembered about when I was younger were cars running very fast, Ferrari's and several numbers on the screen that didn't make sense at the time. I became really interested for the first time when I was 16, and went for the first time with 17, but at 18 I was always there with my father, behind the scenes...well, the stock of tyres to be more accurate, the big screens full of numbers. I've always been a girl who's easy to communicate with and I make friends very easily, over the years, I ended up getting closer to some drivers and ex-driver, all of whom were good friends with my father and were incredibly nice to me, but I ended up taking a special liking to four of them.
"You can take the car" I heard my father's deep voice, immediately taking me out of my thoughts. "What?!" immediately surprised, my eyes widening slightly like two balls, he almost never let me drive his car, I walked quickly to where the tallest one was and placed the back of my hand on his forehead, as if I wanted to measure his temperature "are you okay?!"
"I'm fine, hon, I just won't be able to go with you, you know...duty calls me" the oldest said, letting out an awkward laugh, running his hand through the hair at the back of his neck, he already knew what I was going to say.
I was picking up my bags and placing them on the living room carpet when I heard, my shoulders drooping in a certain discouragement, having a slightly uncomfortable look on my face with the news, my father sometimes was up to his neck in work, it bothered me because we only had each other and from time to time it was a bit lonely, he always came home tired, exhausted, and that wasn't good for him either.
"Dad...again?! Weren't we on vacation?! You waited to take your vacations with me! So we could spend more time together" I said, more disappointed than angry.
"I know! but I promise it's quick, I'll sort it out soon, you won't even miss me and I know you'll be in good hands, I'll be there soon, it's a promise, and i don't want you to have to wait for me, okay?! Take my car" he said calmly and lightly, because it wasn't something easy to hear, he had an apologetic smile, because he knew it wasn't what i wanted to hear for sure, then he handed me the keys, which I accepted somewhat disappointed, even though I tried poorly to hide it, receiving a kiss on the top of my head to try to cheer me up, I grumbled, sighing immediately afterwards, couldn't get angry with him, I knew that If it wasn't something important, he would just ignore it, so i slowly looked at him and suddenly gave him a big hug to say goodbye...or at least farewell.
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I actually went to the hill alone, listening to my music, distracting myself with the landscape, however, the only thing that cheered me up was seeing the boys on the moment I stepped out of the car, they all came to welcome me as if they could feel my arrival, and for a few hours, I actually forgot that my father was missing there, missed them so much that didn't even notice anything else. Fernando I could see more often because he's still active - and thank God he is - but the others are retired, Sebastian lives holed up in his beautiful house in the country he was born in, Mark and Jenson are too busy working at Sky, and the Brit is running again! Can't always travel to see them because I have college, so all thoughts about anything that wasn't here, went away, to make room for them.
"So...an actress huh? Don't forget us when you get famous, Darling" Jenson said as he let out a laugh, his accent present - as well as everyone else's -, sitting on the bench at the kitchen island, his first two fingers on the wing of the hot cup, it had a familiar and very subtle smell of peach, he was wearing light blue and plaid pajamas, the freckles drawing attention with the beam of sunlight that entered the kitchen and was almost on his face, it was an afternoon sun, orange, so it doesn't bother that much.
"this should be considered treason, i remember very well that you said you would be an engineer" Seb commented with a smile on his face, teasing me, his arms crossed while he was lying on the kitchen sofa that was glued to the wall, practically lying down as if he were in his bed, with the pillows stuck to his side, wearing comfortable red clothes, which highlights his blonde hair and beautiful piercing blue eyes, he always had a lovely smile too, which can quickly leave someone embarrassed.
"I didn't promised anything to anyone!" I commented laughing, adjusting myself on the sofa, next to Seb. Button agreed with me while the German said he was the biggest ass kisser to ever exist on earth, but that was his way of showing love... other than teasing someone.
"But what do you do there, exactly? What do you study?" Mark asked curiously, he was making something to eat and ended up getting his hands dirty like the beautiful disaster he is on the kitchen, he ended up picking up his already bitten apple from the counter with his mouth, making me smile, everything they did was absurdly...them. The Aussie wore an orange outfit that looked more like sportswear, the socks with flip-flops almost caught my attention more than his beautifully defined face with his beard that was already starting to grow, now noticing that maybe I liked them with a beard...it gave them a different look...
"What do you think she studies there you bloody Aussie?" Jenson asked laughing with an obvious tone.
"Hey, you don't need to be rude Jenson, the question was more specific, i understood" i said throwing one of the pillows in his direction, which he caught in the air with just one hand, boasting about his quick reflexes right after, showing off his muscles, which made me roll my eyes playfully but i didn't look too much, even though he wasn't in Formula One, he was still strong and didn't need him to catch me eyeing him and tease me for the next few days.
"shorup mate... I don' knom" the tall man said with some difficulty due to his busy mouth, shrugging and biting the apple stuck between his teeth, which fell on the counter as soon as the piece was torn off, he was only holding with his lips. "Nando, what did your ex-girlfriend do when she studied? One of them was an actress, right?" His Australian accent was present in the nickname he used for the Spanish driver, getting a bit distracted and distracting all of us before i could even think to answer
Fernando, who was entering the kitchen, stopped, holding the laces of his gray sweatpants, about to tie them as soon as they called his name, he looked at us slowly with a curious look, wanting to understand the reason for the question, he held the hem of his shirt with his mouth so he could see better what he was doing, giving us a few seconds to observe his slightly tanned abs, not so defined, but strong, which i immediately looked away, no matter how tempting it was, who did something so simple turn something so...hot like that? But I soon remembered that he's the Spanish, and he always had a reputation for showing off. I pretended to be interested in something else before i felt my face heating up any more, hoping they wouldn't notice the small faint of blush on my cheeks, but of course, someone noticed. While the boys talked, the German watched everyone, and without meaning to, we made eye contact as soon as i turned my face, the man just let a slow, sideways smile appear on his lips, realizing how embarrassed i was with so little, but he didn't say anything, as if he wanted to keep my reaction between us, he looked at everything and everyone so intensely from time to time that probably was able to leave me embarrassed more quickly than Fernando's body, however, after being caught, i quickly and a little panicked looked at my lap, he had something in his eyes that I couldn't decipher... but soon i convinced myself that it was just my mind playing games with me and i paid attention to the boys' discussion.
"Just because I dated an actress doesn't mean I know how it works" his voice carried an obvious tone as he opened the fridge after finishing tying his pants
"If not, by this point, Fernando would have learned absolutely everything, he dated a woman with every job, if you count all the women he's ever dated... my goodness" I joked, making the boys laugh and the oldest one sit next to me, ruffling my hair calmly as a 'payback' for the joke, soon i hit his hand only to stop what he was doing, still having fun with the situation as I straightened some tangled or misplaced strands.
"Jealous, cariño? You can be next if you want" he said in a low voice, worthy of a flirt, carrying a beautiful Spanish accent as he slowly moved my hair aside so that it was behind my shoulders, I quickly grabbed a pillow and hit him with it, he ended up laughing with the others after the small tension, this man had a very easy way to make me blush and I didn't need one more thing for them to provoke me, which we already did with each other quite frequently and without much effort.
I simply loved this kind of environment, it was a bit chaotic, funny, a real mess...but it's absolutely them...and it had been so long since I knew what it was like to truly laugh, it was so good to have them here next to me, even got a little lost in what they were talking about, talking loudly, joking, specially with the German and Spanish now taking part in the conversation even more, but my ear caught a word in the most inopportune way possible, I didn't even follow the rest of the sentence but it woke my curiosity, the word was "virgin"
"Wait, what?" I shook my head as if coming out of a trance, blinking a few times, looking curiously at the boys who stopped talking and just stared at me.
"Oh boy, I said that Mark had to be careful or else everyone would know he was a virgin until he got to Formula One" Jenson said letting out an amused laugh, which made my eyes widen. "Really?! Till Formula One? I thought that you, being in this field, would be faster with it, besides... you are men, let's face it, there is no being more desperate for sex than you all" I joked with a depth of truth, making them laugh together
"But you're kind of right, I lost at 16" the British said, adjusting himself in his chair and taking a sip of his tea as if he had said the most 'everyday' thing possible.
"I think mine was at 17" the youngest said, making a face while thinking a little
"Mine too" the blonde nodded
"I had chosen to wait, do you guys have a problem with that?" Mark said sarcastic, getting more laughs from us
"Jesus, you are all promiscuous" I took advantage of the fact that we were all laughing and made another joke that made them laugh even more, the atmosphere was nice, everybody having fun, Jenson on the verge of tears
"I didn't hear you saying your age, Lieb" Seb's voice suddenly came out, which ended up silencing the laughter slowly and making me the center of attention of the relaxed and casual men in front of me.
I simply stopped, feeling my cheeks inevitably heat up a little, they were staring with the most relaxed and curious look of all, but Sebastian, for a few seconds, seemed like he had brought this up on purpose, i wasn't expecting that kind of question, and he knew that. I cleared my throat, looking elsewhere, scratching the back of my head, thinking about the best way to answer that question and to buy myself a little time... would it be easier if I lied? Maybe being honest was the best case? I slowly parted my lips but only after a few seconds, they uttered a sound "Well I..."
"You can't say you don't remember" Fernando said, adjusting his position on the sofa next to me, paying attention to my answer.
"There's...no way...I can remember...what...I never did" my voice reached highs and lows due to shame, avoiding eye contact while speaking so slowly, but even so I could already feel the looks of shock in the agitated silence at this point, words slowly sinking in their brains.
"No, wait a minute, it's a lie, right?" Button asked with a smile, while i sigh, creating the courage to look at him and just shook my head, denying it. I had no idea why that sudden embarrassment by the fact that I was still a virgin, maybe because it was the first time I was talking out loud about it with other people, especially with them, but I was always a girl who was very resolved with that fact, but having them look at me like that, probably made me a little shy... did I really look like I was that "adventurous" in that department?
"Oh, come on guys? There's no shame in that..." I let a laugh with a slight blush on my cheeks, speaking more to myself than to them.
"Do you have any special motivation?" Seb asked curiously, adjusting himself on the sofa as if the topic had become more interesting, while my cheeks burn a little more. "W-Well... no, I just...never believed in that nonsense they put into girls' heads that they need to 'lose it with someone special', it takes away their sexual freedom... but... I never felt comfortable enough to be able to do anything other than kissing someone... I don't believe in the "special person" bullshit but it also doesn't mean I'm going to do it with just anyone, not everyone deserves it, anyway" explained calmly, didactic even, and at this point, i should've wanted to stick my head in a hole after sharing my intimate life in this way with 4 older men that I call 'friends' but... the vibe was comfortable, they made me comfortable, I felt like I could ramble on about this for hours and hours, plus as soon as I finished saying it, I received understanding looks, nods agreeing with me and relaxing smiles.
"It makes perfect sense and there's nothing wrong with that...but have you ever imagined it with someone?" the Brit man asked, as always, curious and attentive.
"Even if you considered the person unreachable" before I could respond, Nando said looking at me, but there was something...strange in his eyes, the question sounded a bit personal and the way he looked at me made me remain silent for a few seconds, analyzing his question, it was as if he knew something, Mark just nodded quickly to his friend's statement.
"Well, maybe...? it's not like I can control that kind of thing... Who i desire...but I don't remember who it was..." I replied, but I lied, remembering clearly every time I wished, even if it was for just 5 minutes, each of the men in this kitchen, I found myself wondering what it would be like to feel their touch, their kiss, their skin on mine... contemplating whether I would feel comfortable enough to lose my virginity with any of them if i ever get the chance... and the answer in these lustful daydreams was always the same: yes. I would never have the courage to tell them this and it's... a little unsettling to talk about it because at some point I could answer a question in the worst possible way and they could end up discovering this secret... Too afraid of ruining things between us to tell...of course it would ruin it, who would think it's normal to hear your friend's daughter admit that she has had sexual fantasies with you? In addition to the fact that it would feel awful to stay on the same room knowing that, and one of my worst nightmares was to end up loosing this bond that we have because of a confession of something that teenage y/n, full of raging hormones, felt and that...maybe they extended into adulthood...either way, it's a no. The silence became comfortable again, despite feeling that they were more curious about this subject, but decided not to dwell on it too much, they didn't want to overwhelm me, make me feel uncomfortable, so quickly i clear my throat and change the subject, which they follow, knowing that i had talked about my intimacy enough for today...and God, I have long weeks ahead with them...
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A/n: be patient with the next chapters 🙏🏻 i'm writing as fast as i can! And the pictures aren't mine!
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urgonnaneedabiggership · 1 year ago
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Host of a Ghost
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Pairing: Miguel O'Hara (Spiderman: Across The Spiderverse) x Fem!Reader
Warnings: Language. Spoilers (Miguel's backstory is mentioned). Mild violence. Very, very light mention of a foiled SA (not to reader). Some angst.
Word count: 4.1K
Short A/N: This man has become my hyperfixation since I watched the movie and I'd been wanting to write something with him and today finally the muse came to me do I deliver you this decent-sized thing I wrote. Hope you like it <3
PART II
“Unusual” wasn’t a word you would’ve used to describe your life at all. At least not until about a year ago.
It was unusual to find a spider with such an odd color palette roaming your apartment since you were used to more dull-colored typical critters. It was also unusual that you didn’t panic enough to turn the apartment upside down to look for the thing before it bit you, but there was too much work to do, and a million notes from Dr. Connors to go over. It was equally unusual that you hadn’t rushed to the hospital the minute you noticed the tiny marks on your thigh.
“I mean, if it was really dangerous, it would have hurt more.” Was your reasoning to ignore it and keep scanning the pages before you. Nobody said pursuing a Ph.D. was without sacrifice. 
By the time you tried to stand up to make more coffee just to end up collapsing on your kitchen floor, it was much too late.
From then on, “unusual” was pretty much every day’s motto.
Having a nightmare that night about being suffocated and unable to escape just to wake up hanging upside down and wrapped in sticky shit was the first clue. Turns out you were actually able to produce said sticky shit at will in the shape of a thin thread, then you discovered the wall-climbing abilities, and before you knew it you were roaming the city at night trying to get comfortable threading between the tall buildings, running across rooftops and challenging yourself to climb this or that building as fast as you could. You felt indestructible, alive. It was wonderful.
You’d never forget the night of your first save either. For several reasons.
It was an ordinary night, right before returning to your apartment, when a violent shiver abruptly ran up your spine and every cell in your body commanded you to stop. When you did, a scuffle in a nearby alley caught your eye. A young girl was violently shoved against a wall by a man who pressed his hand against her mouth. The same second his hand came dangerously close to the zipper of her jacket, you practically tackled him from above and pinned him against the ground, having no clue of what to do besides throwing punches at his face until you knocked him out. A whimper coming from a dumpster behind made you realize you had an audience.
“Shit,” you cursed under your breath, remembering your uncovered face, the only solution at hand is to wrap your scarf around your head to try and hide as much as possible, “Oh god this feels too much like cultural appropriation for my taste,” You kept nervously rambling to yourself as you slowly approached the dumpster.
“Um…hi,” You greeted, “Are you okay? Did he hurt you?”
Being met with nothing but silence, you were about to leave when a soft voice replied.
“No. He didn’t. Thank you so much.”
“Is there…I don’t know; is there somebody you want me to call?”
“I want to call my mom.” She replied, her voice still shaking, “He took my phone.”
“Right. Phone. Okay.” You quickly made your way back to the unconscious man and pawed his clothes looking for it. He let out a groan in protest.
“Yeah it doesn’t feel right, does it asshole?” You muttered as you retrieved it from one of his pockets. Then you shoved him onto his stomach to tie his hands and legs behind his back before returning to the girl.
“Here. It still works,” You just held it over the dumpster, seeing nothing but her pale hand as it reached out to take it before you took a few steps back. 
“No, wait,” She immediately pleaded, “Please don’t leave me alone with him.”
“Like hell I am. I’m staying right here.”
So you waited with her until the police arrived. However, the minute you saw the flickering lights and heard the approaching siren, you retreated into the dark part of the alley and climbed onto the nearest building to escape through the rooftops.
It wasn’t until you were back in your apartment that you realized you’d been smiling all the way home. Carefully shutting the window behind you, you let yourself fall onto the couch and screamed joyfully, the pillow muffling the sound.
She was okay. A person was okay because you could intervene and do something about it.
However, a new wave of shivers flooded your veins so abruptly that you sat down immediately.
“Yeah, I know how that feels,” Came a feminine voice from the unlit kitchen, “Being able to help, I mean.”
You scrambled to your feet and started walking backward. However, the voice didn’t remain hidden for too long. A woman emerged from the shadows, dressed in red with a yellow hairband pushing her near-afro hair back. She greeted you with a soft smile.
“Your reflexes need polishing,”
“My…?” You repeated, dumbfounded.
“And you have to learn how to fight properly. Randomly throwing punches isn’t always going to cut it,”
“I’m sorry, who are you? Why are you in my apartment? Were you following me? Do you know about…?”
“Whoa, slow down, kid. I know you have questions, and I might be able to help you with that. But you’re going to have to come with me.”
“Alright, I’ll…let me just get my car keys,”
“Oh, sweetie,” The woman said in between laughs, not malicious but truly amused, “You have so much to learn,”
You were starting to wonder why she had elongated that “o” like that until, after pressing a few buttons on the device around her wrist, something that you would’ve described as a “black hole on LSD” erupted in the middle of your living room.
That night you learned that her name was Jessica Drews and that she was completely right about you having so much to learn. With a four-second-o.
Over the following months, you became capable of things you didn’t think possible. Walls that took you a minute to climb became easy obstacles that didn’t take up more than fifteen seconds of your time, your fighting skills had also improved exponentially under Jess’s tutelage, and of course, going from a life where you could count your friends with less than one hand to being constantly surrounded by amazing (no pun intended) Spider-People who not only understood the changes you were going through but warmly welcomed you into their circle was more than you could’ve asked for.
Well, perhaps some more willingly than others. And by others you meant him.
He, who seemed to be always around, silently watching but never intervening.
He, who despite being allegedly “always locked up in his lab” always seemed to personally oversee your training since day one.
Whom you’d tried to greet as gleefully as you did the others just to receive, if anything, a vague nod of acknowledgment. In your first three months, you had spoken maybe four times. Well, you had. He only hummed, nodded, or answered in monosyllables. You knew better than to waste your energy with people like that, but for some reason you were unwilling to just accept Miguel O’Hara didn’t like you and that was that.
“For some reason” being code for “I’m one second away from fainting every time he as much as looks in my direction,”
You weren’t a child, for crying out loud. You were aware that no matter how cold, distant, and seemingly indifferent the leader of your new team was, he was an insanely attractive man. Even with the fangs…no, especially with the fangs, for some reason. His whole aura that screamed “completely-inaccessible-frighteningly-powerful-twice-my-size-man” had you harboring a huge crush on him within two months of meeting him. So painfully unrequited that it was embarrassing.   Just the fact he could ignore your greetings and surely never think twice of it but you would spend the rest of the day wondering what you could’ve possibly said to make him at least say “hello” back made you want to scream into a pillow until your throat burned.
It was right up there with the time he’d muttered ‘much better’ when he saw you land a kick you’d been practicing and those three seconds kept playing on your head for the rest of the week.
The night of your first mission you decided you were going to prove your worth, not to your crush but to your team leader.
“I told him you’re ready,” Jess said with a proud smile, “He’s going to call you in sometime throughout the day to let you know where you’ll be going and with whom, probably me. How do you feel?”
“Excited, I guess,” You replied, pressing your lips together anxiously, “Also nervous. I don’t want to screw this up.”
“With me as your mentor? That’s unlikely,” Jess replied with a wink, giving you an encouraging pat on your shoulder as she walked away.
However, the day continued normally. You did some assigned tasks here and there, which mostly included helping Spider-Byte to keep everything running smoothly given your background in the tech field. You grabbed lunch, then thought it would be a good idea to train some more before going away.
You were beginning to lose all hope when, as you leaned down to fix some wiring, Lyla popped right beside your head and called your name so loudly you hit your head against the metal and hissed. One year and still you hadn’t used to the way she appeared out of nowhere.
“Oops, sorry,” She promptly apologized, “Well you’ll have to walk that off, Miguel wants to see you STAT.”
“How am I supposed to walk a head injury off, Lyla?” You joked, rubbing your forehead as you rushed across the halls with the holographical figure floating after you.
“Not in my code,” She replied using her usual excuse.
When you walked into his working space, Miguel’s back was turned to you as he used a digital pen to do some annotations on what looked like blueprints of new equipment. After he didn’t react to your presence for a few seconds, you hesitantly walked closer and cleared your throat.
“That looks nice. Is it a new suit?” You asked, as always, trying to start a conversation.
“I just received an alert about the…” He stopped and sighed as if saying the silly nickname was physically painful to him, “…the Go-Home-Machine. It said there was a small power overload since we sent back that Vulture from the 192-011 Universe.”
“Yeah, but Byte and I are already working on that and it should be fully functional by tomorrow morning,” You replied, a bit confused as to what that had to do with your mission.
“Good. Let me know as soon as it’s fixed.” Miguel hastily replied, not even turning to face you until a whole minute passed and he realized you were still standing there. Even then, he just barely turned his head.
“That’s all, (Y/N). Thank you.”
That’s all? What do you mean that’s all?
“Was there something else you wanted to do?” He asked. Shit. You’d said that out loud.
“I…Jessica told me that I’m ready to go on a mission and that today you…”
“I said I would think about it, and I have.”
He fell silent again. No matter how attractive he was, you were starting to truly get pissed at his stupid theatrical antics.
“And?”
“And the answer’s no. You’re not ready yet.”
That felt like all the disappointments in your entire life added up and multiplied by ten. Especially because of how easily he dismissed you despite being aware of how hard you’d worked, how many nights you decided to forgo hours of sleep just to train and polish every movement until it was as close to flawless as you could.
“Not ready yet?” You practically hissed in a voice you almost didn’t recognize. Hell, it was enough for him to put down the pen. “Not ready yet? That kid Pavitr has been here for what? A month? And he’s already going off on missions. Alone, I might add!”
Unsurprisingly, he did not answer.
“And he’s very, very good, I’m not saying he isn’t. But I’m just as good. And more experienced, both at being here and at being a Spider-Person. I have completed every training scenario you’ve thrown my way, worked my ass off to understand every bit of information regarding interdimensional traveling, and studied the protocol to control anomalies, what is it that you still need me to prove?”
He took a deep breath. So deep that his shoulders rose, flexing the muscles of his back in such a way that if you hadn’t been so angry, you would’ve been too distracted to keep arguing. Even with your blood boiling, you couldn’t help but stare and feel your stomach tense at the sight.
“Do you like being part of this team, (Y/N)? Do you like training in our headquarters, having access to all our information, and maintaining contact with the other members of this society?”
“Of course I do,” You replied immediately. Slowly, Miguel turned around to face you completely and walked towards you, descending the two small steps that separated you until he stood towering over you. Even if your knees were about to give in to this unexpected closeness, this wasn’t the time to fold. You held his glare defiantly and folded your arms in an attempt to mentally guard yourself against him.
“Then I suggest you get in line and do as you’re told,” He said in a low voice. But it wasn’t threatening, or condescending. It was an odd, flat tone. Tired, perhaps. Almost as if…as if he was reprimanding you against his will.
He was almost unbearably close. You could feel his breath hitting your face. If right then all logic flew out of the window and you stood on your tiptoes you could…
“I’ll do that when you’ve earned my respect, and I have a policy of reciprocity when it comes to respect, Miguel. I’ve been in line for a year, I’ve listened, learned, and improved so much that if you’re still looking down on me, then it’s your problem, not mine. And no self-righteous, big-headed…”
“Just get out,” He cut you off, once again turning his back to you and walking towards the blueprints again.
“Oh no, I’m not finished…” You insisted, trying to follow him. However, as soon as you gave one step forward he turned around so violently that you stumbled backward and stared at him with something you hadn’t felt towards him up until then: fear.
“Yes, you are,” Was his only reply. As dull as the others.
While you could only see his face for a moment before he walked past you and left the room, something about his expression stuck with you even hours later, when you laid on your bed at night and combed through the scene over and over. You thought he would be fuming, maybe even shocked that you’d dared to talk to him like that. The last thing you expected was for him to look…upset. Hurt, even. The mere thought of you being able to hurt Miguel O’Hara was as ridiculous as imagining a goldfish fighting back against a shark. Still, you realized that even if you thought he was in the wrong, you felt bad about how things went down back there. You would never understand what being the leader of hundreds of super-powered people was like. Commanding each and directing their particular abilities as best as he could all while maintaining a vigilant eye on endless strings of causes and effects because he knew firsthand the consequences of being careless with them.
Even if he had made a mistake with you and of course you still wanted to address it later, right then all you wanted was to apologize.
And so, not even an hour later you were roaming the halls of the HQ, your heart beating furiously as you got closer to his quarters, wondering what you could even begin to say.
When the automatic doors slid open, you stepped inside and turned back to look as the doors closed behind you. Well, no turning back now.
“Miguel?” You called, looking around the large room, pondering whether a first-name basis was okay. After everything that had happened, going back to Mr. O’Hara sounded terribly stupid. Then your eyes landed on the row of screens where he spent most of his time. An extremely ill-timed wave of curiosity filled your chest as you approached them, taking another look at the seemingly empty room before stepping onto the platform. Getting bolder, you reached out your hand and brushed your fingertips across one of the screens. It immediately came to life with a blue glow, startling you and making you curse under your breath. You were about to look for a button to switch it off when a video started playing automatically from where he had left off. He was in it, holding a young girl. Miguel wasn’t just smiling. He was laughing. His laugh was exactly as you’d pictured it. Not particularly loud, but hearty and low. He had the kind of laugh that made you unwittingly smile as well as a newfound sympathy filled your chest as tears filled your eyes when you pictured that being taken from him just like that. How could one have a family, and then one day be completely alone and keep going?
With a renewed disposition to make things better between you, your hand reached out for the switch that would turn the screen off until a third voice piqued your interest. It belonged to whoever was holding the camera.
“Would you please stop hoarding her? I deserve some mother-daughter time too! Here, hold this thing and give her to me,” The voice said between laughs. There was something about that voice that made an extremely cold shiver run down your spine.
“Fine, you’re right. Bueno pues, mijita, ve con mamá, ¿quieres ir con mamá?”
The picture became blurry as the camera switched places with a giggling Gabriella, who could be briefly seen stretching her arms toward the third figure.
“Alright,” Came Miguel’s voice again, “But when I turn the camera towards you I want both of you to blow Daddy a kiss, can you do that for me?”
Without waiting for an answer, he turned the camera around.
And then you found yourself staring into your own eyes. They weren’t quite the same shade as yours, and “your” hair was styled differently. And “you” had freckles. But otherwise, it was like staring into an interdimensional mirror. Then, your voice spoke.
“Okay sweetie, let’s humor him, shall we? Blow Daddy a kiss. And another one from me because now I have to use both arms to hold you, my big girl!”
Miguel laughed again at the way his daughter’s face lit up at being called a “big girl”.
“¿Saben que las amo a las dos, verdad?”
“And Gabriella loves you too. I think you’re…nice enough.”
“(Y/N), I don’t think you marry somebody for ‘nice enough’, mi amor,”
“I love you too. Against my better judgment.”
With one last interrupted laugh, the video ended, and, in a cruel irony, the once again black screen showed your actual reflection.
Except this time, it wasn’t the only one. With a loud gasp, you turned around. After seeing him in that video, it became much more evident that the Miguel in it was nothing but a memory of the past. And in a matter of seconds, everything shifted into place like a gloomy puzzle. His expression was unreadable, though he wasn’t even looking at you. His eyes were fixed on the empty screen.
“I wasn’t supposed to ever see that, was I?” Was the only thing that came to your mind after a lengthy, tense silence.
“What good would it have done?” He replied, almost numbly.
“So that’s why you’ve always…stared?” You kept pushing. Against your better judgment, you thought.
“It was at first,” Came his only response. Like always, it seemed like you would have to tear the answers off him.
“What’s that supposed to mean?” You asked, turning your head to look for his eyes. Even then, something warm filled your chest. Something that made your heart beat so quickly you felt as if it would stop at any moment, and it spread all over you no matter how much you tried to fend it off. Hope.
Surprisingly, this time he caved in and looked at you. Still, the answer never came. For the first time in all the time you’d known him, Miguel O’Hara was at a loss for words. And that said more than anything he could’ve come up with.
“And you expect me to believe that, by sheer chance, you happened to catch feelings for somebody who is practically your wife’s interdimensional twin?”
“It sounds so much worse when you say it like that,” Was that a hint of a smile? An attempt at a joke? One year and the only time he’d bothered to be decent to you was when you were talking about how much you looked like her?
With an annoyed look, you moved away from him and started to make your way to the exit.
“Do you think I wanted this?” He spoke rather loudly, his whispers going out of the window as he started to follow you across the room.
Miguel O’Hara following you to keep you from leaving. Just hours before you would’ve died of happiness at the mere thought of this scenario. Right now, your brain was a flurry of thoughts and emotions that you didn’t know how to handle.
“I was doing an amazing job at keeping my distance. Watching you from afar, seeing you laugh, grow, win everybody over with that awfully big heart of yours, and still I reined myself in,” He continued, “Today’s the perfect example. You thought I didn’t respect you, for fuck’s sake! I respect you so much that every single day I have ignored you and pretended you are nothing but another face in the halls. Damn it, (Y/N), I couldn’t even look you in the eye when for months you’ve been all I’ve wanted. All because I didn’t know if I loved you or what was left of her. And I didn’t want you to get involved in shit that’s mine to figure out.”
Hearing him not only withdraw his previous statement of you not being capable of doing things and accepting the problem was his and not yours made you stop in your tracks.
Fine, the sudden (though odd) love declaration had something to do with it too.
“So you don’t think I’m not ready?” You asked, turning around and even taking some steps towards him.
“Are you serious? I’ve watched you closely all these months. You learn in days what others do in weeks. You push yourself way more than so many of our members and yet I’ve never, ever seen you become overconfident. Today you never said you knew everything. You said you knew enough.”
This time, it was you who remained silent. There was something else you wanted him to elaborate on, and from the look in his eyes, you realized he knew damn well what it was.
“You were right. The problem wasn’t yours. It was mine all along. I could manage to push you away and keep my feelings at bay. But knowing that you were eventually going to go out there and take so many risks...worst case scenario, you could get hurt or not come back at all. That was too much for me to handle, s’all.”
“Were you afraid of losing me…?” You started to ask just for him to interrupt you.
“Yes. Very much.” However, you lifted a hand to stop him. You weren’t finished.
“Were you afraid of losing me, or were you afraid of losing her again, Miguel?”
Three seconds later, when no answer came out of his mouth, you were about to turn around once again when he rushed and stood in front of you. For a second, you thought he was going to grab your shoulders to keep you in place. Not wanting to come off as if he was forcing you to stay, his hands just hovered on both sides of your shoulders without touching you.
“Listen, she wasn’t a picky eater like you are. But I swear that woman never drank enough water and every time I see you there’s either a bottle in your hand or laying around. And she was so, so messy. It took us at least ten minutes to find the keys every single time…and Spider-Byte said you sort your tools by size and color. Color. (Y/N), I don’t think even I…”
“Are you getting somewhere with this?”
“You’re not her, (Y/N). You have never been, and you never will, I know that. I want you to know that I wouldn’t want you to be any other way. I love you.”
After that, he moved out of the way and folded his arms.
“If you want to go back to your dimension and stay there for a while…or for good, I don’t know, I completely…”
“I love you too, you know?” You cut him off, pressing your lips together after blurting out the three words that’d been haunting you for the past months. Words that up until now you were sure would never leave your chest. When you turned to look at him, you saw in his eyes what minutes ago had filled yours. Hope.
God, his face was so hauntingly beautiful when his features softened.
“What do you want from me?” You finally asked him, your voice shaky from the effect you knew his answer would have regardless of what it was.
Miguel moved closer to you almost hesitantly, his eyes never leaving yours. When he was close enough, he reached out with both his hands and slid them up the back of your neck, his thumbs tucked in front of your ears as his warm palms engulfed the back of your head so he could hold you while he brought his face down to press his forehead against yours.
“Mi amor, I’d give you all I am and be happy with whatever you’re willing to give me for now,”  
You knew it would take some time for you to get used to hearing him say things like that without wondering if you were the only one in his mind when he did. It would be a while until you felt completely certain that you were made of flesh and bone and not just a ghost in his eyes, but it would happen. You saw his eyes as he drew his face closer to yours and when your lips touched, you knew that it would definitely happen sooner or later. Until then, you thought as you stood on your tiptoes when he almost desperately pressed his lips onto yours, he was very much worth the wait.
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oh-koenig-my-koenig · 6 months ago
Text
returning home
(cw: age gap 26/41; nsfw, mdni, smut, a bit of angst and drama, fluffiness and a lot of tears)
the part before: it's the parts of König that she didn't see
a/n: i'm sorry, this got a bit out of hand :') over 9k words, buckle in, we're in for a ride
I have been a mess those past four months. This has been the worst breakup of my life. I mean, not that I had that many partners before. And the only one I still sometimes cry after is my highschool sweetheart.
But this… we weren’t even an official thing. König and I spent a lot of time together in those few weeks, yes. But we never even clarified if we were in a relationship or not. Dating. Being exclusive. And sure, I was basically living at his place after only a week of knowing each other. But that didn’t mean anything in retrospect. Apparently.
You can’t really call in sick for a broken heart and I wasn’t able to leave my bed for a few days. Sleeping a lot, listening to all the sad love songs, barely eating. Until my mom came by, basically kicking me off my mattress. Forcing me – in a loving way – to get a grip and not mope around like a heartbroken mess.
The worst part was when I found one of his hoodies in between my stuff, I must have accidentally packed it with my clothes when I got everthing together, and it still smelled like him. It doesn't anymore because I have been wearing it nonstop when I'm at home. Not outside though, because the piece of clothing looks ridiculous on me with how big it is compared to my size. I could fit myself in there three times and the hem falls over my knees. If I press my face into the fabric, I still pick up hints of his scent. At least that’s what I tell myself.
The marks on my body faded too. The hickeys he left on my skin becoming fainter by each day, until they were gone.
I looked at all the pictures we took together. Well, more like, I took them and König is also in them. And the selfies we sent each other. The only ones I didn't keep were the filthy ones, because it felt wrong, so I deleted them. But I didn't have the heart to do that to the pictures of us, the ones that carried the memories. And it stopped hurting as much over time. At least that’s what I tell myself.
Lying in bed. The one he bought and we built together, because he broke mine. It's unfair, really, because he is gone and I can't escape him still. Repeating his words to me in my mind.
You should be with someone your age.
It never had been a topic for me, not something I would've spent a second thought on, at least not like this. But apparently, it had been on his mind.
Someone who can promise you that they'll come back every time.
And in the back of my mind there is still the little voice that wishes that he would just have had the guts to be with me. Despite the possibility of him not coming back in one piece, leaving me to mourn him. Because like this, he isn't in my life either. And I still worry about him, because there is no way for me to know that he still is in this life.
He didn't even want to hear my side of things. Or maybe he wanted to, but I was just too blindsided by it all, frozen in place as he “broke up” with me.
Afterwards, when I thought about what he said, I wanted to scream. To shout at him. Even if I could never really do that. I wanted to grab him by the shoulders and shake him and ask him, what the fuck he was thinking. Why the fuck he was thinking that.
Fuck. I’m so sorry, Liebes.
His apologies didn’t help either. Because I wanted to be mad at him. I was mad at him, and I still am. At least that’s what I tell myself.
Because even though I get it - I get what he was telling me - I still don’t fully understand.
And I remember the look on his face as he was crouched before me. When it became painfully clear that I couldn’t read him.
I never meant for this to go this far or… this deep.
Well, I didn’t either. But it did. And he left, even though he felt the same way. Or at least so I thought.
After a few weeks I finally feel better. I’m okay with how it is. That’s what I tell myself.
Not at all ready to go out on dates again. Not that there is any rush. Not that there had been that many occasions, but still. The thought alone of being with somebody that's not him…
I get back to work, meet my friends, hang out with my family, and when they ask me how I’m doing, I can convincingly tell them I’m okay.
Almost every night the thing on my mind before I fall asleep is him. Nothing, but him, and how I wish he was lying right next to me. I still just want him to come back.
And I know I’m not making any sense. It’s just gonna take some more time to get over this.
When I wake up one morning and see the messages on my phone, I don't even realize what they mean at first.
I'm coming back tomorrow I don't deserve you, but if there's any chance that you'd want to see me again... I’m landing at the airfield in [REDACTED], at 1130 I'm sorry, and I understand if you've moved on or maybe we can talk sometime this week if you're busy whatever works for you or maybe you don’t want to talk to me at all which is fine as well, of course just let me know in Liebe, König
I blink, reading the messages over and over again. The little incoherent ramble until it finally clicks. He's coming back.
I groan, putting the phone away, hiding my face in my hands. Contemplating what I should do as the possibility of seeing him again churns in my stomach. And all the emotions come flooding back, tears pricking in the corner of my eye. God damn it.
Men and women are disembarking from the aircraft and I crane my neck, looking for him.
I’ve been waiting here for some time cause they were running late. And I’m not the only one, there are quite a bunch of people waiting. Probably families and partners? They all seemed relaxed, at least more relaxed than me.
I’m hopping from one leg to the other, my hands feel a little clammy as I knead them. And honestly, I’m a little nauseous.
More people in gear than I would have thought come off the plane, meeting up with their relatives, mingling with each other or just leaving.
I already fear that I completely misunderstood his messages, but that couldn’t have been possible, right? Maybe I shouldn't have come here, and just told him I’ll see him some time this week, maybe I shou-
Two more figures emerge from the cargo hold, coming down the ramp. I don’t recognize the man on the right, but the one on the left…
Beige cargo-pants, protectors on the knees and shins. A simple longsleeved shirt, black of course, and a bulletproof vest. Gloves and more protectors on his arms. The band of bright red beads around his wrist.
The mask, the hood fashioned out of simple fabric, red streaks down underneath the eyeholes, held in place by the helmet atop his head. Hiding his face away.
Fuck.
I only saw a picture of him in gear once, when he showed me, but I still would have recognized him instantly. His tall build, the attitude with which he carries himself, gives him away. This get-up can’t hide it.
He stills. Frozen in place, and from the distance I can’t make out anything.
I just stand there, unsure if he already saw me. And I lift my hand, just a little wave, before I drop it again.
Shit, maybe I should have told him that I was coming.
But then he starts running towards me. A slight jog at first, his strides getting longer with every step. I can’t just stand here either, my legs almost moving on their own.
Dropping the bag that hung over his shoulder. His gloved hands are fumbling with his helmet, until he gets it off, just throwing it away, and pulling of the mask too, and when I see his face for the first time in month, I feel tears prick in the corner of my eyes. Running a little faster, only a few meters between us now. The skin around his eyes is smeared with eyeblack, his long hair is clinging to his head, as he also gets rid of the balaclava, just pushing it down, so it sits around his neck, and then…
He stops, just a step before me, not to run me over, but I don’t, jumping up, jumping into his arms, the full impact of my body against his not moving the big guy a little bit. I’m clinging onto his shoulders as he catches me in his embrace. I’m burying my face in his neck, and when his scent hits my nostrils, a little sharper than usual, gunpowder and sweat mixing with his warm soothing scent, the tears flow free, staining his balaclava, wetting his cheeks. Sobs are shaking me as he presses me against him, my legs hugging around his waist.
“I missed you so fucking much.”, he says, his deep voice shaky, and I can’t even answer because it just makes me cry more. “Ssssh, Liebes. Don’t cry.”, he tries to comfort me, but hearing his favourite term of endearment only lets the tears flow freely. “I didn’t wanna make you cry.”
“To-oo late for - that.”, I press out between two sobs.
“I’m so sorry, fuck.”, he sighs, his arms closing even tighter around me. “I don't know how I will ever make it up to you.” His gloved hand is softly caressing down my back.
“I missed you too.”, I finally manage to say, my voice thick with tears, pressing myself against him, and I never wanna let go.
But I need to pull back, only a little, just to look at him again. Touch him. Convince myself that this is real.
My vision is blurred, but that’s still him, his face so close to mine. His gaze intently on me, while one of my hands grabs him, my fingers caressing over his jaw, the stubble a little longer than I’m used to, the smudged black colour around the eye area making him look a little different. He leans into my palm, the eyebrows pulling up and the tension melting away.
His hand cups mine, his thumb softly caressing over it, such soft touches and another small sob is shaking me.
“I don’t want to overstep anything.”, he whispers. “But I would really like to kiss you.”
And I nod, not able to speak the words yet. And before he can lean in, I already press my lips to his. When my mouth meets his, and I taste the saltiness of my tears intermingling with his scent, the wave of relief that floods me is indescribable.
It's as soft as I remember, something that always surprised me. How soft his kisses are.
The way his lips press against mine, like he's searching for something, tasting me. Nipping at my lower lip, his nose rubbing against mine. His stubble scratching over my skin as he tilts his head.
He presses kisses to the corner of my mouth, my cheeks, my nose. All over my face, slowly drying up my tears, and I take a deep breath, calming myself down. He really is back.
When I finally take a look around, I realise that we’re off to the side a bit, but not that far away from the others on the tarmac, so… this must be quite the spectacle for his colleagues and the people who waited for them. Some of them are in tight hugs or talking with the civilians, but some are also looking in our direction, every once in a while. I don't have any time to feel self-conscious though, about being a teary mess.
And the guy who disembarked the aircraft with König comes our way, a little hesitantly, but smiling at us both.
“Köni.”, he says in a deep, but friendly voice, omitting the g in his name.
“Horangi.”, König says, setting me down, but keeping me close by his side, and I wouldn’t have moved an inch away.
The man in front of us is dressed in green and beige camo, quite different from what the big guy is wearing except for the pants. A similarly coloured balaclava around his neck and sporty sunglasses on his head, sitting on top of it in his hair, complete the look.
“I heard so much about you.”, he says lightly, addressing me.
“You did?” My eyebrows shoot up, almost colliding with my hairline.
He nods, grinning, not fazed at all by the threatening stare from König. “Yes. Every time he drank just a little too much, he wouldn't shut up about you.”, Horangi says. “You did a number on the guy.”
I don't know what to say to that at first, honestly a little gobsmacked. “I did?”
“Yeah, yeah, now fuck off.”, König says to Horangi, patting the other man’s back, the frown on his face turning into a grumpy smile.
“See ya, Colonel.”, he says with a grin. “Enjoy your leave.”, adding a little joking salute, before stomping off.
I wave after him, confused for a moment. Colonel?
“Don't mind him.”, König grumbles as I turn to him again, but he doesn't look mad in the slightest bit. “He doesn't know how to behave sometimes.”
My arms closing around his waist, and he repositions me a bit, so the straps on his bullet proof vest don’t press into my cheek.
“So, you really did miss me.”, I say pulling him tighter. Not a question, a statement.
“I did.”, he answers almost solemn as he brushes a stray strand of hair out of my face.
Some of the soldiers are still standing around, talking to each other and the people around them, but I can’t make out what they’re saying.
“They’re still looking.”, I whisper to him, unsure what that means.
“Yeah, cause they’re all seeing my face.”, he whispers back, smiling down at me.
Right, the hood!
“Oh shit, I forgot about the mask thing.”, I say, my hand clasping over my mouth. “I didn’t mean to-”
“It’s fine.”, he says softly. “They'll survive seeing my face. And I will too.”
“Right, still.”
“Don’t worry about it. I asked you to come here.” He pauses for a moment. “More on a whim, cause I didn’t really think you actually would.”
I take a deep breath. “To be honest, until this morning I didn’t know either.” My eyes pan up to meet his. When I woke up, I knew that I wanted to see him. But only when I got into my car, I called into work to take a personal day off and instead drove here.
“I’m glad you did.”, he says, holding my gaze.
“Me too.”, I whisper back.
“Cause Horangi was right. I was miserable.”
Just like I was. “Really?”, I ask him again, almost soundlessly.
“I was fucking miserable without you.”, he repeats, picking me up again and pressing another kiss to my lips.
I think I don't wanna leave his embrace ever again. But we still have stuff to talk about. Stuff to sort out. And we really can't do that here.
Plus his kisses have their usual effect. As the emotional turmoil and tears dissipate, a familiar feeling spreads through my body, my lower belly tensing up.
“You’re here in your car?”, he asks quietly in between two more kisses. Getting more desperate.
“Yeah.”, I say. “I parked it around the corner.”
“Okay, you wanna get out of here then?”
I just nod, kissing him again, and his little hum against my lips lets tingles erupt all over me. Then we're out of here.
Not before picking up his helmet and hood that he shed on the way, me still in his arms, getting his duffle bag, and I can’t help the little giggle escaping me, because he refuses to set me down when he bends down. Carrying me like I weigh nothing, also not willing to leave my side even for a moment.
On the way to the car, it gets even a little more heated and I’m glad when we turn the corner, hiding away from other eyes.
He’s taking huge strides, heading right for my car, that he spotted in an instant, the small silver one.
My fingers are tangled in his hair, his hands grabbing my ass and thighs, and I pull the car key out my pocket and unlock it. He opens the car door, lying me down on the cushioned seat and I scoot back to make room for him.
Reminders flood my brain how we did it in the back of his car, much bigger than the Toyota I drive. It’s way too small for him, but that doesn’t stop us.
I push off my shoes and get my pants off quickly as he climbs in over me, his shoulders pressing up against the roof of the car, while he sheds his protectors and gloves and shuts the door behind him.
A moment later, I’m folded in half, my knees against my chest, the feet up in the air brushing against the frame of the car. His hands gripping my thighs, spreading me for him.
König is eating me out like a starved man, soft mewls and grunts dropping from his lips, the vibrations of them against my sensitive skin.
“Oh fuck.”, I groan.
His hair is falling over his face, but I just want to see him, brushing the strands back. His gaze burning into me as he looks up at me, the eyeblack giving him a rugged look.
Desperately licking me, my juices glistening all over the lower part of his face. The stubble that is longer than usual is scratching against the insides of my thighs, but I don’t care about that right now, in the contrary, the soft scratch right there makes me even hotter.
It’s him. in this get-up, a little different than I was used to, but it’s him.
When he slips his fingers into me, his lips closing around my clit, sucking on the sensitive bud, something that always made me lose my mind fast, and this is no exception.
The way he fills me up, his thick digits stretching me. His tongue working my pussy, knowing exactly what makes me cry out. His mouth wandering, littering my inner thigh with kisses and hickeys.
The bites and nibbles send shivers down my body, my hips rutting forward, pushing my pussy into him. His arm comes over tummy, holding me in place, so I can't escape his touches.
“Yes, please, just-”, I sigh, and I can feels how he curls his fingers inside me, hitting just the right spot.
I come around them, my cries a bit too loud in my own ears in the small space, and I almost bump my head into the car door behind me as he doesn’t let up, but dives in again. His tongue is toying with my clit, dragging over it, slow, broad licks, and my body shakes and convulses.
“König…”, I plead, my hand tangled in his hair.
He finally pulls back a bit, still lapping everything up, even putting his own fingers in his mouth. His lips closing around them, his lids fluttering for just a moment.
“You taste so fucking good, Kleine.”, he whispers, not breaking eye contact as he meticulously licks my arousal off them, and I can’t help the blush on my face, especially when his tongues darts through between them. Fuck.
Instead of an answer, I pull him into me, to kiss him again, tasting myself on his lips, my hands dropping to his belt, fumbling with the clasp. I want more. I want him.
“Wait.”, he says, his hand coming over mine, I can feel the lingering wetness on them, and I still for a moment. “Shouldn’t we like…”
“You…. don’t want to?”
"No, of course I do, Liebes… I just want to do it right, you know? Make it right. In a proper bed."
I pull one of my eyebrows up. He thinks about that now after eating me out. "We can still do that later, no worries."
"But- I-"
"Yeah, that's all really noble, but right now I just need you." I kiss him again. "So shut up and fuck me. Please.", I say, still fumbling with his belt.
“I don’t have any condoms with me.”, he says, still not helping me to get his gear off.
I pull up an eyebrow. “And?” We did it raw many times, why would it be…
"Did you not... You didn't...?", he stammers, his eyes searching mine.
And then it dawns on me. "If you're gonna ask, if I slept with somebody else in the meantime, I suggest you don't. Because I fucking didn't." Adding after a moment’s pause: “Did you?”
"Fuck, no.”, he answers without hesitation, but his whole body is still shaken with agitation. “Fuck, I'm sorry, I just-" His hand strokes through his hair, exasperated, straightening up a bit and almost hitting his head on the roof of the car.
"König."
He stills, his eyes on me again and I can see the turmoil in them.
"I didn't want anybody else, I just wanted you back.", I say, my voice a little shaky. "And now that I've got you back, I just need to feel you. We can talk and do all the other stuff after getting home, okay?"
Home. The word slipped over my lips before I could think about it. It's out there before I can take it back.
He doesn't move a bit, just looks at me incredulously, and my hand shoots out to grab him which pulls him from his thoughts.
“I do not fucking deserve you.”, he whispers, and then it all happens very quickly. Pulling the zipper down and getting his dick out, the tip slipping between my folds.
He doesn't wait a moment longer and we both groan in unison when he slides into me, and the familiar feeling floods me, the stretch deliciously making me squirm.
Yet my eyes don't leave his for even a moment, not daring to close them, in case this is still a dream and he did not really come back.
But when he grasps my chin, tilting it up and leaning down to press his lips to mine, the tears that have been welling up again roll down my cheeks, the wetness blurring my vision.
I wipe them away, aggressively, a little mad at myself that I just can't stop crying. “Fuck, just… I-” I sigh. “Those fucking tears.”
He’s not saying anything, his thumb brushing over my cheek, a soothing gesture. His lips are peppering kisses all over my face as he starts to fuck me, slowly and sweetly.
I look down to where we are connected, seeing him push into me, seeing and feeling his dick slip into me. As deep as he can go.
With the position I’m in, folded in half, my belly is bulging with every thrust, just a bit, but still. And when he bottoms me out, time after time after time, I inadvertently squeeze around him.
“Fuck, you feel so good.”, he groans.
He’s not fucking me fast, more hard and deep. The sound of skin against skin when his lap collides with the plush of my thighs, loud and quite heavy. And I’m underneath him, framed by his strong arms, holding onto them.
Every single one of his thrusts lets a moan slip out of me, especially with how his pubic bone is pressing up against my sensitive clit, over and over again.
My breath hits his face, the look on it still a little incredulous, the almost enamored smile.
His breath is getting heavier too, rattling grunts shaking his chest. I wanna feel them, I wanna feel his rapid heartbeat against my fingertips. My hand slips under his vest, the other one holding onto it. The soft fabric of his compression shirt is warm, feeling his heartbeat strum against the palm of my hand, as I look up at him. Back in one piece. Alive.
The telltale signs how close he is are written on his face. The breath that halts in his throat every so often. The way his jaw drops. His brows draw together, not his usual frown, the ever-present scowl. Ecstasy visible on his features. And his eyes pressing together, for just a moment.
Looking down at me again, he’s still fucking me, my knees pressed up against my chest, his propped-up arms carrying most, but not all of his weight. My fingers are grabbing his bulletproof vest, needing him closer. The buttons of his waistband and the belt pressing into my ass with every thrust.
But all those sensations get overtaken when my second orgasm washes over me abruptly, just holding onto him, and I can’t keep my eyes open anymore, when he doesn’t stop. The pushes of his hips, how he rolls them into me, getting a little more desperate, almost losing the rhythm, as I clench around him.
He’s buried deep inside me, filling me up when he comes, and groans drop from his lips. His face contorting in pleasure. I missed his stupid face, and apparently I also missed his O-face.
He takes a big breath, backing off a bit, giving me a moment to reposition my legs. When his dick slips out of me, I sigh, feeling a bit empty and the wetness against my stomach as it rests over it.
His big heavy body slumps over me, and we just stay like that for a while. Cheek to cheek. My arms around his neck, his hands softly caressing down my body.
Maybe I could even stay like this forever.
Again I remember the time we did it on the backseat of his car, that was much more spacious. Half an eternity ago. Only the second time we ever did it.
Softly kissing now and then. The little sounds and our breath the only thing in the calm silence around us, until he breaks it.
“Can I take you home?”
“Yes.”, I answer without hesitation. We still have some stuff to sort out, and we should get going.
He’s zipping himself up, I put on my pants again, his cum seeping into my panties now, but I don’t even care and get into the driver’s seat, the doors close behind us.
And for once he is in the passenger’s seat, my car still way too small for the big man. It’s almost ridiculous how his stature fills the car. He almost has to duck his head like this, even without the helmet, dwarfing the whole space.
I chuckle a little, put on some music and start driving.
“So Colonel, huh?”, I ask him, pulling an eyebrow up.
“Yeah.”, he says, scratching the back of his head. “I don’t know why I never told you.”
“It’s okay.”, I say. “I guess, that doesn’t really matter in the civilian life.”
“It doesn’t.”, he agrees. “But it also feels like I wasn’t fully honest with you. Which is shitty.”
I clasp my hand over his for a moment, squeezing his fingers. A little reassurance. I don't care about his rank cause it doesn't change anything anyway, and I also never bothered to ask.
“So, I wouldn't get in trouble for insubordination if I called you Sir and not Colonel?”, I ask him, teasingly.
His brows furrow, that certain look in his eyes like always when I was being bratty - and I missed that too.
“You won't.”, he grumbles.
I can't help the little laugh. “Good to know.”
I look to the side, and there he is. It’s him, even in this get-up, it’s him. In my car.
And he’s grinning back at me, not as bright as I was used to, but still. I shake my head as I look back onto the street. He really is back.
I pull into the driveway, the sight of his house alone pulling at my heartstrings. The heavy feeling hits me, the lightheartedness I felt before taking a little hit, even before turning the motor off, getting out the car and heading inside.
He unlocks the door and goes inside, putting down the duffle bag, as I follow him. I stand around a little unsure, taking my shoes off, before heading to the living room.
When I see the couch, I have to swallow my emotions down, not ready to cry again. The memories come rushing back and I just need a moment to take it all in.
Heavy steps behind me, warmth emanating from his body. His presence so tangible, even when he’s not touching me. I’m still so tuned into him.
And I turn.
God damn, I almost forgot how big he is. He fills the doorframe that has been fit to his height. His shoulders seeming even broader in his gear. His head almost grazing the top of the frame.
And I have to tilt my head back to look up at him. We just stand here for a moment.
“I need to shower.. you, uh-”, he starts.
“I’m just gonna wait here, okay?”
He nods. “Yes, of course.” He hands me his phone. “You wanna order something to eat in the meantime? For us.”
“I can do that.”
“Pick whatever you like.”, he tells me before rushing up the stairs with huge strides, taking his bag with him.
I sigh and take a seat at the dinner table we barely ever used. Not daring to sit on the couch like I usually would have.
Unlocking his phone, only clicking on the delivery app, of course. Searching for his favourite take-out place, the grill with the nice little garden out back.
Does he deserve it? I don't know, maybe not. But I'm not gonna be petty over food. I’m adding another dessert for myself, though.
After I placed the order, I put his phone away, picking up mine instead. Scrolling on the usual apps, waiting because I don't know what else to do. He’s taking longer than I’m used to for the shower. And I can feel myself getting a bit restless. My mind coming back to the things he said. When he broke up with me and then today when he came back.
Heavy steps are coming down the stairs, him emerging in a get up I’m more used to, a simple black shirt and shorts.
His hair is still a bit wet, clinging to him in strands. He’s freshly shaved too, the stubble he had before gone. And I can smell the clean and sharp tone of his after-shave when he walks up to me.
“Food will be here soon.”, I tell him, because I don’t know what else to say.
“Okay, thank you.”
“Your favorite.”
“You didn't need to do that.”
“I know.” I hand him back his phone. “And I didn't snoop through it or anything.”
He nods, acknowledging my comment. “I trust you.” He steps a bit closer, taking it. “But you wouldn't have found anything noteworthy either. My phone is embarrassingly empty.” He looks up from the device, to me, a lopsided wry smile adorning his face. “Mostly work emails and photos of you I couldn't bring myself to delete.”
“Yeah?”
He nods.
“What’s the other stuff?”
“Photos of Mimi.” His smile is turning into a grin.
“That little minx. I should have known.”, I say exasperated, but jokingly.
He’s still standing there, swaying from one foot to the other ever so slightly, and almost wanna tell him to just sit down.
“I thought about calling you. I just didn't know what to say.”, he says, his voice quiet. “I wasn't even sure you'd pick up.”
“I don't know if I could have handled talking to you over the phone.”, I say carefully, but honestly. I probably wouldn’t have picked up.
He just nods. “I understand.”
“I actually didn’t know what to think when you texted me.”, I continue. “It was a lot. After a few months of no bleep, no nothing.”
“I wanted to text you. I just chickened out every time.”, he says. “But Horangi kicked some sense into me.”
“Does he do that often?”, I ask, biting back a grin, when remembering the conversation with him earlier. How he basically snitched on him, painting the a bit pathetic picture of drunk König who missed me so much that he wouldn't shut up about me. After he broke up with me of his own volition.
He tilts his head to the side, grudgingly admitting: “Sometimes.”
“And we all need friends like that sometimes.”, I say.
He laughs a little and confesses. “Yeah, he actually helped me phrase the messages because I just didn’t know how I-” He breaks off. “I meant everything I said though.” His eyes find mine again. “I would've understood if you didn't have time or if you just didn't wanna see me. But I still had to try. And I meant it earlier, when I said that I’m glad you came.”
The look on his face, almost pleading. And I feel the same way, but being here with him still feels a little… overwhelming.
“I-”
The doorbell ringing disrupts our conversation. He turns and hurries to the door. I can hear him talk to the delivery person as I get up and hurry to the kitchen to get plates and cutlery.
We’re both coming back a few moments later, setting everything down on the dinner table, taking a seat next to each other. Opening up the containers of food, laying everything out. Loading our plates up, my stomach grumbling. I hadn’t eaten all day, too anxious and nervous. I dig in, taking spoonsfuls of the veggies with rice, and I feel how his eyes are on me, how he’s watching me.
I meet his eyes when he breaks the silence again.
“I missed your birthday, didn't I?”, he asks, but judging from the look on his face he already knows the answer.
“Yeah, a few weeks ago.”, I say, nodding.
“Now there's ‘only’ 15 years between us.”, he says, matter-of-factly.
“There are.”, I agree. “But it doesn’t matter. 15, 16, what’s the difference.”
“Yeah, you’re right.”
I put my fork down for a moment and just tell him outright what I have been thinking: “When I teased you, it was never about that. Our age difference never was an issue for me, you know. But I will never call you an old man again, if there is a chance that you will throw it in my face like that.” I pause. “Again.”
“I’m not gonna do that - again.”, he reassures me.
“Good.” I take a deep breath. “If I had known that this was plaguing you, I could have put your mind at ease. Or at least tried.”
“It’s not on you.”, he says with a sigh, his hand dragging over his face for just a moment, rubbing over his eyes. I can feel the frustration emanating off him. “I just- I tried to hide it.” Like he also tried to hide it when he had shit days. I wanna grab him by the shoulders and shake him.
“I figured. Because the whole… conversation came out of nowhere for me.”
“Yeah, I felt like such an asshole afterwards. I went about it the most blunt way. The whole thing anyway… it was a mistake.”, he continues, point-blank. “And I’m sorry for that.”
If we had this talk only weeks after he left, I would have been so mad still. The distance helped. It's also helping right now. Acknowledging that it had been a mistake, it doesn't make the "break up"-thing go away. But I feel like I still needed to hear that.
“It’s okay.”, I whisper.
He shakes his head. “It’s not.”, he says. “It wasn’t okay.”
“I know.” I reach for him, our fingers intertwining, my thumb softly caressing over the back of his hand. Our eyes meet and I can see his emotions in them, clearer than ever before. Not trying to hide them anymore. And I understand. A little smile stalks onto my face.
“Let’s just eat, okay?”
And I never have to tell him that twice.
After we finished up, he carries the plates and leftovers to the kitchen, refusing my help, and I finally take a seat on the big couch, slumping into the cushions.
König emerges in the doorframe, just standing there. Frozen in place. I put my phone down and for a moment we just look at each other. The same familiarity hits me, but the guilty look on his face tells me why he’s not moving an inch closer.
It's a bit ridiculous. We fucked, we ate together, we talked about some of the shit that went down. He apologized - again.
I softly pat the cushion beside me. “Come here.”
He’s taking a few steps, hesitatingly approaching and sitting down. But he stops there. I look up at him from the side, and I have never seen him so unsure. It's almost a little sweet.
Grabbing him, I pull him down to me and he just lets me. Positioning his head in my lap, cradling his face, and he lies down the feet dangling over the side of the couch. When my hand caresses over his chest, he sighs. Relaxing into the cushions. I can almost hear the weight drop from his shoulders as he melts into my touch. His hand clinging onto my arm. His brows turning up as he looks up at me.
For a moment we just sit in silence and I let the calmness flood me that his proximity brings. Playing with the long strands of his hair. Softly straightening out the waves that always form when they are freshly washed. Looking down at him.
“I don’t fucking deserve you.”, he whispers.
And there it is again. That sentence. It bothered me when I read it in the messages he sent. And then when he uttered them today.
I grab his face and make him look at me. Squishing his cheeks. “Don’t say that.”, I tell him, my voice trembling. “Don’t fucking say that.”
He stills, his eyes flitting between mine, his mouth dropping open a little.
“I didn’t- I…” I’ve almost never seen him speechless, but today every time I’ve said something that he seemingly didn’t expect he just looked at me like that.
“You think it's flattering or whatever. It’s not.”, I say, exasperated. “It’s like I’m on a fucking pedastal. It doesn’t make me fucking feel good, okay?”
“I’m sorry.”
I shake my head. I don’t need anymore “sorry”s from him. “You already thought that before you broke up with me, didn’t you?”
He hesitates for a moment before nodding. Silence between us as I only look at him, reading what’s in his eyes.
“Beating yourself up over this isn’t gonna make either of us feel better. I don’t want you to grovel like a beaten dog. I just want you to be honest with me what’s going on in this thick head of yours.” Tapping on said thick head.
“Yeah, you fucking hurt me by just dropping me off in my flat and fucking off because you thought it was the right thing for both of us. I don’t need you to think for me. I just need you to talk to me.” Damn, I’m laying into him right now, but I fear otherwise I’m not gonna get through the thickheaded stubborness.
“I didn’t mean to go over your head like I did. I was too in my own head already, so it was the only thing that made sense to me.”, he says as calmly as he manages. “I thought it was the right thing for you.”
“Because you didn’t deserve me anyways and I would be better off with someone else, right?”, I summarize. I can’t help but sound a little bitter. And I realise now that that was the thing that hurt me the most.
He nods again.
I feel the jab in my heart. Not knowing what to say to that. It's not nice to have the person you're with express the sentiment that you should be with someone else. Well, it’s pretty fucking far from nice.
He casts his eyes down, fidgeting with his wristband, not daring to look at me. And I can practically feel his self-deprecation prickling at my fingertips, the hand still lying on his chest, clearer than ever before.
“I thought I would be selfish to have you wait for me. And I realised that the opposite is true. I was a coward, I just fucking ran away.”, he sighs, and I can hear the shame in his voice.
His hand clasps over mine, squeezing my fingers.
“You did.”, I simply say.
“And it didn’t fucking solve anything.” He laughs, a barking joyless laugh. “For the first time in a long time it was worse without someone else, you know.” He pauses for a moment, finally looking up at me again. You don't need to be Sherlock to know who he's talking about.
I nod, swallowing back my emotions again, squeezing his hand back. “And it didn’t have to be like this.”
“Fuck. I know, I just- wanna kick myself every time I think about it.” An exhausted and frustrated sigh rising up from deep in his chest. “I don't know what I can say to make it all okay again. I don't know what to tell you to-”
“Just show me.”, I interrupt him before he can go down that spiral. He stills
“I’m gonna make it up to you, I swear.” His hand grabs mine a bit tighter. Pulling it up to his face and pressing a kiss to my knuckles.
I nod, a little smile stalking onto my face. “Okay, good.”, I say, adding a “And don't ever say you're undeserving again.”
“I won't.”
“Thank you.” I lean down and press a soft kiss to his lips, and he answers it like it holds the promise he just made.
When I pull back, I don’t get far cause he is cradling my cheek, not letting me go anywhere.
“Did anybody ever tell you that it’s hot when you get all bossy like that?”, he whispers, a small grin forming on his face.
“Yeah?”, I say, tongue in cheek. “You like getting ripped to shreds?”
“Only by you, Hexe.” which makes me laugh. “But I deserved it too.”, he says.
“You did a little bit.”, I say graciously, and we both laugh.
We just stay like this for a while, holding hands, and I can take a deep breath feeling most of the weight drop away from me that I felt walking into the living room.
He turns to the side, his cheek pressing against my belly as his arms close around me, around my waist. As close as he can get.
I’m brushing his hair out of his face, playing with it. Massaging his neck and shoulders, softly caressing.
He almost falls asleep like that, and I don't think I’ve ever seen him so peaceful. Deep calm breaths. Not a wrinkle on his forehead as I brush over it with my thumb. His eyebrows are turned up. Not even a hint of a frown on his face.
He grabs my hand, pressing sweet kisses to my fingers. “Stay with me.”, he whispers. “Please.”
“You sure?”, I ask.
He nods, not letting go of me. “I just want my bed and you in it, like I dreamed about those last few weeks. So… please?”
And it finally sinks in that the break was just as painful for him as it had been for me. Because I dreamed of the same thing. “Okay.”
He doesn't need anything else, just gets up off the couch, picking me up as well.
I can't help the giggle rising up my throat when my legs close around his hips and my lips find his neck, kissing the sensitive spots, the ones that always make him shiver. My fingertips are digging into his shoulders. The soft lingering touches I know will get him riled up.
He hums. “Glad to see that your ass is still as bratty as before.”, he grumbles, but he can't hide the grin as he playfully places the tiniest spank on said butt.
“Never.”, I tell him before he kicks open the bed room and lies me down on the bed.
We both scramble to get rid of our clothes, pulling them off quickly. He crawls over me, his dick nudging against my pussy while he settles between my thighs and his lips land on mine. His long hair falls over me like a veil, the tips tickling my naked skin.
His hand drops down, his fingers rubbing over my clit as he pushes into me. Carefully enough. And I sigh taking him in.
His mouth is coasting over my neck, making me shiver as he kisses, nibbles and bites. Leaving marks where anyone can see. Licking the sensitive skin, his tongue drawing wet tracks over it. His heavy breath hitting the shell of my ear as he pulls my head back and sucks on the sensitive spot right beneath it.
My fingers are digging into his shoulders and back, his muscles, leaving my own marks with my nails. Dropping down further until I grab his asscheeks, pulling him into me.
He chuckles, pushing deeper, his thrusts picking up pace. I arch my back to meet his movements, my chest against his, the sensations making me throw my head back.
His hand catches my chin, and he’s telling me: “Look at me, Liebes, please just look at me.”
My eyes meet his, a satisfied deep hum rising up his throat. And I never felt more at the center of anybody's attention than in that moment.
He turns, and suddenly I’m on top, riding him, my hands placed on his hairy chest. Slowly sliding up and down his length. One of his arms around my waist, the other on my ass guides me. I almost can't handle it, the way he fills me up in this position, his tip nudging against my cervix. But fuck. I have missed this.
Not just the sex. The closeness. The familiarity. Him.
König looks up at me, the same look on his face that I have seen a few times today, the one that I still can’t quite place what it means. But I love when he looks at me like that. If the warm fuzzy feeling in my chest is any indication.
We spend the rest of the day in bed, talking, fucking, listening to music, sometimes almost dozing off. Until it’s late, almost a bit too late.
My head is resting against his chest, his heartbeat strong and steady, his legs entangled with mine. His burly tattooed arms embracing me, pulling me against him. His cheek resting atop my forehead with the way I’m nuzzled into the crook of his neck, so his hair is tickling me when he moves a bit.
His body all around me, with nowhere else to go.
I didn’t like sleeping like this ever before I got to know him. But I really don’t mind anymore. I really don’t.
When I open my eyes the next morning, I need a moment to catch up where I am. König’s bedroom. In his bed, the soft sheets against my naked skin. I stretch a little and turn to the side, expecting to find him still fast asleep. But I’m greeted with a smile on his face, his eyes on me. Wide awake already.
“Good morning, Liebes.”, he says softly, catching my hand and pressing a kiss to the back of it, and I have to swallow to not instantly burst into tears.
“Hi.”, I answer, trying a little wobbly smile.
His hand shoots out and he caresses over my cheek. A simple gesture, one he did so many times before, but right now it has me crying again.
“Oh Liebes.”, he coos as he sees the tear rolling down my face.
“I swear, I don't wanna cry! I must be getting my period or something.”, I grumble while he presses kisses to my cheeks, softly kissing away the tears.
“I’m gonna make you laugh and come twice as much for every time you cried.”, he says, and the twinkle in his eyes tells me that he is joking, yet at the same time seeming earnest.
I break out in laughter. “That would be a lot of jokes and a lot of orgasms.”, I gasp out, wiping the wetness from my cheeks.
He leans down and gives me a kiss. “That’s okay. Cause I’m not going anywhere.” He pulls back a bit.
“Don't make any promises you can't keep.”, I say.
“I wouldn’t.”, he says, his voice serious and his gaze soft. “I promise.”
I nod. “Okay.”
“Now let me start with it. I already got a laugh out of you.”
“You insatiable man. Let me go get my teeth brushed first or-”
“No time!”, he exclaims, pulling away the blanket, to position himself between my legs.
I burst into laughter again, the sounds turning into moans when he pulls away my panties and puts his mouth on me.
“Another laugh… that means I need to keep up with the orgasms.”, he quips, mischief lighting up his eyes as his tongue dips into me.
I sigh, snuggling myself back into the comfy sheets, grinding my hips against his face. Meticulously he eats me out, getting all sloppy with it.
His hands are grabbing the swells of my ass, my legs over his shoulders, until he is buried between my thighs. They are littered with all the marks he left there. Faint bites and hickeys. And he’s leaving even more. Oh god, I missed them.
He spits once before his fingers push into me, soft squelching when he fills me up. I’m still a little sleepy, yawning once while I stretch. Meeting his movements and touches.
“Feels so good.”, I tell him, and a little smile forming on his lips as I look down at him.
“Yeah?”, he quips, his thumb rubbing over my clit while he fingerfucks me, slow and deliberately.
I barely can hold the eye contact, almost a little shy, although we did this what feels like a million times. “Yeah.”
He slips his fingers out of me, taking over with his mouth again. I feel the wetness on his fingers as he grabs my thigh again, his fingertips pressing into the plush.
In the time apart nothing had changed about this. It still feels like he has memorized every little part of me, which buttons to push to make me cry out.
His own moans and grunts give away just how much he enjoys this, and I don’t think I will ever get enough of him. Seeing how his hips restlessly move, almost fucking into the mattress, while his tongue dips into me, fucking into me, over and over again, it does something to me as well.
When he nips at my clit, I jolt, my hips lifting off the mattress, but he doesn’t let me go anywhere. Repeating the same move and I come on his face. My back arching, my fingers grabbing at the sheets, curses dropping from my lips.
With a deep breath I look at him again, the big man still very comfortable between my legs, his chin and lips glistening with moisture before he wipes it away.
“And that’s the first one.”, he says with a little grin, and I can’t help the little laugh.
I sit up and grab him. “Yeah, but it’s your turn now.”, I tell him as I pull him up to me, needing him closer.
A wry smile adorns his face. “I’m sorry, Liebes, I already...”
“You… what?”, I ask a little dumbfounded. Looking down while he sits back on his knees, his tummy all sticky, coated in his come. The sheets beneath him soiled, like he humped himself to completion spilling all over them, while eating me out. My jaw drops. “Oh.”
“Yeah.”
This man. The lop-sided smirk, making him look younger than he is. The long hair all messy. Not ashamed in the slightest that he came like that, just eating me out.
“Just give me a few minutes, okay?” He grins down at me as he crawls over me. “And maybe a shower.”
“But I need to get to work!”, I tell him.
“Who said, you'll ever leave this house again?”
“König!”
“I’m keeping you.”, he says, like a definite statement, while he scoops me up and tosses me over his shoulder.
“Brute.”, I say poutily while I can't hold back my giggles.
He just laughs, grabbing my ass as he carries me to the bathroom. “Gonna fuck you in the shower, two birds with one stone. Still need to make you come one more time.”, he lays out his plan.
And I could never say no to that, could I?
We manage to be on time though, even drinking a coffee in the kitchen together, and then he drives me to work.
He also picks me up again, not ready to spend any possible moment apart.
The stupidest biggest grin stalks onto my face when I head out of the office and see his car already parked, faint drum and bass sounds penetrating through. I run up to it and open the door, recognizing the song as Shadow of Intent’s ‘Oudenophobia’, one of the songs I showed him some time ago.
I get into the passenger seat, his hands already grabbing me before I’m properly sitting. Pressing his lips to mine in a kiss. The simple greeting turning into something else with the way he kisses me. Like he doesn’t want to let go.
“Hi.”, I finally manage to say, a little out of breath.
“Sorry, missed you all day.”, he whispers apologetically, backing off a bit, just looking at me.
“No, come back here.”, I say, my hand grabbing his neck, fingers tangled in his hair, and I pull him down to me again for another kiss.
When he pulls back now, he’s grinning down at me. And I don’t need to tell him that I missed him too. He knows.
König straightens up in his seat, shifts the car into gear and pulls out of the parking lot. (The only thing he ever pulls out of, really)
“What’s the plan for today, Prinzesserl?”, he asks me then.
“Oh oh, there is this new Asian fusion place that opened up a few weeks ago.”, I say. “I haven’t been yet.”
He pulls up his eyebrows. “Asian fusion?”
“Yes.”, I say. “They have all kinds of stuff from all over.”
“Spring rolls too?”
“I bet.” I grin up at him.
“Then let’s go.”, he says, the expression on his face mirroring mine.
I sit back, crossing my legs and snuggling into my seat. His hand lands on my thigh and mine clasps over it.
It’s like he never left. Well almost, at least.
And I know that not everything’s forgotten. It doesn’t work like that. My heart is content, but my mind is still catching up. Sometimes thinking about what he said when he left. The promises he made when he came back. Working out how this relationship between us will be from now on. Working with him on that, for both our sakes.
Because despite what happened and my efforts while he was gone... I still do love him.
And we both deserve it.
the whole story in the Masterlist
i'm sorry, i'm so in love with this man that isn't real :') (well, he is, in my mind)
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mvltisstuff · 1 year ago
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how to never stop being sad - e.b
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summary: bucks parents believe they can just forget what they put him through as a child, but y/n won’t let them.
evan buckley x reader.
og gif
a/n: i realized that buck found out about daniel way later than i thought… my image was the dinner for buck begins, and then my dumb brain thought he knew abt daniel for a while 😭 just pretend he knew while you read :))
bucks mother and father somehow think that evan doesn’t remember everything they did. they think he doesn’t care about every scream, every argument, every neglectful moment between him and his sister. but, really, buck remembers all of it.
he loves his parents and he always has, but he doesn’t understand why they make it so hard to like them. he craved love and affection from them, only to be met with their hand in his face and their words in his mind. he knows all about grief, it makes you a different person. he feels awful for his parents, but he wishes they could deal with it better than leave him in the dust.
on a brighter side, buck was finally able to stop begging for adoration. when y/n came into that station, his entire purpose was changed around. he knew he was made for loving her, and he was finally accepted. buck finally felt smart, loved, important to someone.
y/n left a mark on buck from the moment they met. he could tell by her bubbly but confident personality that they’d fit together like stars in the sky. whenever y/n was around, he never once felt like he was asking for the compliments or love she showered him with. she looked genuinely proud to call him her boyfriend, and it melted the heart of the little kid inside of him that just wanted someone to tell him that he was important.
she gave him everything his parents never did and she never once complained. y/n have buck a definition of love, and when someone asked him what it meant, he’d say her name.
now, even years after they’ve been dating, y/n never once spoke to bucks parents. maddie had told them he was in a healthy, happy relationship, but they never cared to check in on him. the days had drastically changed, along with the life of his sister.
she’s becoming a mother, so their parents are becoming grandparents. y/n didn’t really think it would be a problem that they came to visit, until it quickly backfired.
buck quickly realized that they weren’t here for him, and they he barely existed in their book. he hoped that maybe he was overthinking it, but noticed the lack of care they had of his life and the severe amount of judgement in their words. it’s like when they walked in the door, buck felt like the small boy standing at the top of the stairs for his parents again, or the teenager sitting at the table taking every insult they had.
their parents pulled out maddie’s “baby box”, but they must’ve left bucks at home to collect dust, if there was even anything to leave. they crazed over maddies belly and the life she was carrying, praising her for the life she had built for herself. buck just sat there, just wanting to go home and lay in y/n’s arms and get his own comforting.
the night of the dinner came rapidly, buck critiquing everything about himself in the mirror before he went, perfecting his words and his appearance before y/n came grabbing his hand. “it’ll be ok.”
“i know, it’s just been so long and i don’t want them to be rude to you, too,” buck sighs, turning to face y/n.
“they don’t hurt me, you know that. i just don’t want you to get upset.”
“let’s get this over with, yeah? and then we can come home?”
“don’t have to tell me twice.”
y/n and buck arrived soon after his parents, seeing them stand from off the couch with his mothers hands clasped together in front of her. maddie pulls y/n into her grasp from not seeing her due to a busy schedule. chimney and buck hug casually, even though they’d just seen each other. he notices his parents standing there, looking at y/n as she cautiously steps over.
“oh, mom, dad, this is y/n,” buck tells them, his hand landing on her waist. “my girlfriend.”
“it’s nice to meet you guys.” y/n says, exchanging awkward glances with his parents. they nod politely.
“y/n, we got your favorite!” maddie grins, holding a bottle of wine in her hands and looking at it long-fully. y/n laughs, walking over to take the bottle from her as they converse.
“maddie, i’ll make the table for you, sweetie.” their mother says, grabbing plates and napkins for everyone as she starts placing them by the seats.
“here, mom, i’ll help you,” buck says, offering a hand to his mother as y/n stands besides his father.
“so, y/n,” the tall man with the glasses speaks. “what do you do for work?” he asks, sipping his beer.
“oh, i work at the fire station with b-evan and howie.” she remembers the little things, the dislike of nicknames and how buck and maddie never had one. y/n can see the slight disappointment in her fathers face, but can’t quite place why.
“i see.” he says, his voice raising slightly but she can tell he’s slightly unimpressed. y/n just keeps pouring wine into her glass. maddie can already sense the tension, silently cursing her dad for the reaction he had.
“dad.” maddie whispers so buck doesn’t hear.
“yes, maddie?” he questions back, not understanding his tone toward the woman besides him that he’s known for twenty minutes.
“nothing, it’s fine.”
“hey, honey,” buck whispers in y/n’s ear, placing his hands on the counter in front of him.
“hi! how are you feeling?”
“i’m fine, it’s only been like a half hour.”
“i know, just checking in.” she places a hand on his cheek, making maddie smile at the affection she has toward buck.
the food had eventually been delivered, and everyone sat around the table to finally eat. buck pulled out y/n’s chair, letting her sit and then taking the one next to her. chimney sat with maddie, and then their parents took the other end of the table.
the conversation turned almost immediately into the subject of work, maddie talking about some of her calls and chimney speaking about paramedic duties. it seemed they had no interest about buck, not finding much impression in the details about his job, despite it being one of the strongest.
“well, speaking of hospitals, i’ve heard that evan has been spending a lot of time in them.” bucks dad speaks up, placing his napkin folded on the table.
“you’ve heard?” buck mutters under his breath, not wanting to cause a scene but secretly hoping they heard it. y/n could feel the burning tension between buck and his parents, so she ran his hand over his thigh, trying to find his hand that rested near his knee before locking fingers with him. “you could’ve seen for yourself.”
“oh, evan you know how-“
“you don’t like hospitals, got that.”
“i don’t like seeing my children in them.” the womans eyes start to water, thinking back to all the horrific times in the hospital. maddie mumbles to her mother before shaking her head, bringing her moms statement to a close. “we never lost hope on you, evan.”
“yeah, like you did on maddie?” he snaps, leaning back in his seat and staring down his parents.
“evan, let’s not do this.” maddie says, the discomfort clear in her face as everyone’s heart races, fearing the conflict in the room.
“you guys didn’t even go to her wedding, let alone go back for her when she made a mistake and you cut her off!”
their parents barely look at buck. “maddie, we didn’t know he was hurting you, i swear-“
“you should have! you should’ve known, but it checks out because you never knew what was going on even when we was living with you!” he stands up.
“buck, c’mon,” y/n speaks, attempting his hand before he gets too far away. he manages to slip out of her grasp, leaving her to rest her head in her hands as he continues.
“you think my job is dangerous- i have walked through fire every single day of my life because of you. that is why i’m in therapy! because nothing i ever did was good enough!”
“we tried! you guys didn’t make it easy on us” their dad speaks up, making y/n shoot her head up at the older couple at the table next to her.
“we were supposed to? we were kids.” maddie says sadly.
so, buck stands there, begging for love in the center of the room, feeling like a circus act. if he didn’t know better, he’d think they’d all be pointing and laughing at him. besides one. y/n sat there, staring at his parents before looking back at him. she stands up, letting buck try and grab her hand and walk out. if he wants to leave, she will always follow him.
he opens the door, and he steps out, unable to hear the next sentence from his mother.
“neither of you think about how hard it is for your father and i! you only think about yourselves!”
y/n stops in her tracks, “buck, go wait by the car i’ll be out in a minute.” he just goes out, not wanting to waste another minute in that room that he could be spending alone with y/n. “only think about themselves?”
“what?” their mother whimpers out.
“you’re insinuating that you have selfish children, and it honestly checks out considered how much you’ve missed. did you forget what your kids do? did you forget about the lives they save on a daily basis? maddie is the reason half of our calls come out successfully, and buck is one of the highest ranked for his position. and you want to call him selfish? you don’t get to call him anything until you take an actual look at his life. you don’t see him walk out of these buildings with scared and hurt children or people yelling in pain and he can somehow manages to give them hope! you don’t see the effect you have on him and it honestly breaks my heart for him. you don’t see how you casually ripped him up and expected other people to put him back together. you don’t deserve to just come back here and act like you’re completely innocent! you sit here and act like you are angels. truth is that evan did everything on his own and didn’t deserve the shit he got from you. the person he is today has nothing to do with you and you don’t get any credit for how he became the man he is.”
y/n doesn’t stay long enough to see the effect of her words on his parents. she can imagine the tears from the confrontation that their mother can’t handle. it infuriates her that they think they can fix the damage they did in a day, if they even think they did any.
she storms down the stairs, eager to see buck outside and make up for all the loving he missed previously. she sees him leaning against y/n’s passenger door, staring at the concrete with his arms crossed. his hair is lightly blowing in the wind along with his sweater being pressed against his body. y/n can see the subtle shimmering in his eyes as he looks at the ground and she can almost hear the cracks in his heart. it’s like they managed to add another wound to him, just confirming that they didn’t care about him.
y/n steps on the cement sidewalk toward him, her heels clicking loudly against the ground so he could hear her coming. he doesn’t look up. he keeps his eyes glued to the ground in almost a shameful way. he hates that he can’t stand up to his parents, and he hates that y/n had to do it for him, but he needed it.
“let’s go home, baby.” y/n says, standing at the front of the car. “buck.” she speaks his name again, anger still radiating off her body as she waits for him to look up at him. his head tilts up, looking at her as her gaze softens at his expression. she doesn’t hesitate to walk over and grab onto him, letting his body fall into her, taking some of the weight off his shoulders.
“i know, it’s ok.” she whispers into his ear sweetly as the tears run down his face. he doesn’t want to be sobbing in the parking lot with in his girlfriends arms, but he can’t help it.
he doesn’t bother to say anything, he just lets himself feel. he lets himself feel her hand rubbing his back and the other wrapped around his shoulders. he lets himself listen to the gentle words escaping her lips and allow them to soothe his mind. he lets himself tower over her and almost fall into her grasp and he lets her take over. he knows that she has him, and the safety net beneath him was built by her.
he might not have his parents support or their faith through his life, but the surplus that y/n gives to him is enough to fill every ocean in the world.
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sylusjinwoon · 8 months ago
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{ 137 }
like you do.
jinwoo sung x fem.reader
notes: this story is going to get so meta, so my apologies in advance. also, despite my status of requests being technically closed, this one was too good to ignore. full request description and story under the cut ♡
p.s. - listen to joji’s like you do.
{ and everyone else… they don't matter now | you're the one i can't lose | no one loves me like you do… }
anonymous said: Thank you for answeringgggg. This gonna be long. Be ready to get bored✨🫶 I keep thinking about your Jinwoo post. The divergent one to be exactly. What I've been thinking is kinda similar theme. What about, a reader who's always there for Jinwoo but not visible? Like she's a system or a quiet constellation that supports him from behind but under shadow. In the early chapter when Jinwoo is running out of coffee. Suddenly he found a thermos inside his bag with a warm coffee. He didn't remember to prepare it, but since it was already inside his bag maybe Jin-ah put it in or he forgot, but it was the readers! Another chance, readers always help him in silence like, sometimes heal him a little by little, didn't want make a big question mark if he suddenly fully healed in a sec right? Helping to take care of Jin-ah and his mom whenever he's not there for them, healing the resident when war so there's no much loss happen and many little things that she do to help him. She gets jealous seeing him asking Hae-in to the amusement park, but what she can do though, she just loves him too much to be happy for him to find love. In the end, when he reaches his happy ending, the reader finds the courage to say goodbye. Whispering to Jinwoo's ear softly, saying goodbye and hoping he'll be happy. Then it felt like a snap for Jinwoo. It's... Warm, it's felt like it's always there, the reasons able to fight every problem and challenge, then it's gone, he doesn't feel complete anymore. This time for Jinwoo for searching readers! 📸📸 Sorry if my English is not good, it's not my first language 😔😔. Just want to drop this idea instead let it run around my mind and make me crazy to thinking Jinwoo and his readers who are always there🫶🫶🫶 Love you, my top list favorite person❤️❤️😼
{ ... }
it was pathetic, really.
sung jinwoo wasn't even someone that existed-
so why was it that your heart raced each time you would see his achingly handsome features against your phone's screen?
why does your heart continue to pound and fill your chest with butterflies with each new volume of solo leveling that came out?
and why did you have to get so jealous, witnessing the pure love jinwoo had in his eyes for cha hae-in?
it was so obvious that you were in love with him; genuinely in love with him despite how he would never be real.
in reality, you were bit of an introverted person, attending university with your head bowed down in a manner that let your peers know that you were closed off and shy. that you never could find the confidence to be your true self while in front of those who didn't know you.
perhaps that was why your heart was so drawn to a character like sung jinwoo. after all, he started out as being known as the weakest in the world; a meek and timid man who hid his anxieties behind a kind smile.
but you loved him all the same.
even when knowing he would never be able to see you-
or how you would never get to feel the safety of his arms around you-
or see the passion in his glowing eyes each time he would protect you from danger.
it would never be a reality for you-
yet still, you cherished jinwoo deeply,
like a lover would.
so, you spend your days reading stories pertaining to him, inserting yourself within these various daydreams as you tricked your heart into believing that he loved you, too.
after all, it was the one thing you could do to assuage the heartache you constantly felt whenever you saw jinwoo chasing after hae-in, even after he reset everything in order to protect the world.
even if you could never be his true lover, no matter how hard you tried to shift into his reality and be with him.
with a heavy heart while being surrounded by the various volumes of solo leveling, you lay still in your bed and put your phone down. you had finished re-reading the side stories that pertained to jinwoo's life after the reset and how his shadow soldiers were so happy that he found hae-in again-
and you had to stop because you felt your throat closing up due to the heartache and jealousy of it all.
feeling the warm tears streaming down your face, you close your eyes and fall into what you hoped would be a dreamless slumber-
only to be proven wrong the moment you lost your consciousness.
{ ... }
[ ... resetting ... ]
[ ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ]
[ now loading ]
[ SUNG JINWOO'S GUARDIAN ]
a strange sensation was felt coursing through your veins, and you awaken with a gasp, feeling your heart pounding as your eyes take in the scenery that surrounds you.
it takes you a minute to reorient yourself, with you standing shakily on your two feet, wiping the sleep from your eyes. you were dimly aware of the translucent screens that block your periphery. but... you weren't paying attention to that.
you allow your eyes to look around, widening upon feeling the sudden nostalgia that fills you. somehow... you knew that you recognized this city. but something felt... off.
for starters, the colors were so much brighter than what you were used to. it was as though the city were made by an artist who was passionate about their drawings coming to life. as you were left feeling awed, all while wondering why this all looked familiar to you was when you finally realized-
you were in seoul, south korea-
specifically, the seoul that was the main setting for solo leveling.
you felt the air rushing out of your lungs in labored puffs, your heart seeming to palpitate out of your chest when you allow your eyes to look in front of you, finally seeing the translucent screen and its message:
[ the system welcomes you... ]
"i... can you understand me?" you were speaking to the screen, feeling your heart jump against your chest when another message appears.
[ yes. i have chosen you to help with the development of the future shadow monarch. ]
you recognize jinwoo's title, ready to say something had it not been for the fact that you saw sung jinwoo himself running past you. your heart was caught in the confines of your throat, seeing jinwoo who had yet been awakened.
even with his frumpy appearance and lackluster clothes, your heart still managed to race for him. his grey eyes was much softer now, not attaining the edge of his post-awakened self quite yet. he was uncertain and shy, but you knew that deep down he had a heart of gold that wanted nothing more than to care for and protect his mother and little sister.
that was the sole trait that never changed-
and you loved him for it.
filled with a longing to be with him, to reach out and touch him, you didn't even think twice when you extended your hands out to him. you wanted so badly to touch his shoulder and tell him how everything was going to be okay-
that all of his dreams (and more) would come true as long as he remained vigilant and brave throughout each trial and tribulations he had to face-
yet the moment your hand was placed on his shoulder, you felt it pass through him…
your eyes became wide once more, looking down at your hands as you saw that they were also translucent. that your appearance seemed to mimic that of static itself, not quite taking a physical form despite how much you knew that you existed in this realm.
[ i am sorry, but i cannot have your existence meddle with the monarch's story. ]
you turn your gaze back to the screens-
back to the system's way of communicating with you.
[ however, i do know that your heart and soul are pure, and that your feelings for sung jinwoo remain true. ]
[ so i will grant you your desire of helping him. the system i have made for you is deeply tied to sung jinwoo. whatever item you wish to give him shall appear as the young man continues to level up. ]
[ do you agree to remain as SUNG JINWOO'S GUARDIAN? ]
"...yes."
your voice suddenly became much stronger now, being filled with a determination that you didn't believe was even possible. just the thought that you were given this chance to be close to jinwoo was enough to bring you an immense amount of joy.
"i accept being his guardian... and helping him whenever he is in need."
[ ... very well. go on and carry out your first mission. ]
with one last nod, you await the system's next message as it read.
[ MISSION 1: FOLLOW SUNG JINWOO TO THE FIRST GATE; CONSTRUCTION SITE ]
already knowing the scene that was meant to play out, you keep your gaze honed in on jinwoo as he quickly crossed the street, with you chasing after him.
your movements were fluid, and you were so happy that the system gave you the ability to fly, allowing you to keep track of jinwoo and where he currently was at all times. you bask in such freedom of flight and stopped when you reached the construction site.
as if flight came as natural as breathing to you, you gently land next to jinwoo, seeing his forlorn gaze each time the older hunters insulted him, referring him to the weakest in the world. all you wanted to do was comfort him, and despite how you knew he would never feel you-
you couldn't stop yourself from wrapping your arms around him.
"it's okay, you will become stronger. and... i will be with you every step of the way." you say while keeping your arms hovered over his shoulders, your lips press against his skin in a phantom kiss while whispering lovingly within his ear.
suddenly, you take notice when he perks up, grey eyes filled with a newfound determination. you weren't sure what happened, but jinwoo seemed to find a bit of confidence as he steps closer to the coffee stand and speaks to the worker.
"hi, may i have a cup of coffee?"
the worker gives him a nervous smile while giving jinwoo a gentle shake of his head.
"ah, hunter sung jinwoo... i'm sorry, all the coffee ran out just now."
you watch as a look of disappointment appears on jinwoo's face, hearing him let out a sigh as you quickly called out to the system.
"please, give me a thermos filled with warm coffee, made the way jinwoo likes it."
the system then flashes you a screen, showing you your inventory as a green thermos was seen with the words FRESH COFFEE printed below it. you reach your hand and touch at the screen, allowing the thermos to appear at the palm of your hand before disappearing completely from your inventory.
with gentle movements, you manage to move the thermos filled with hot coffee towards one of the pockets seen on jinwoo's backpack, the sudden weight and appearance of the thermos making jinwoo take a step backwards.
"what the...?!"
you stand off to the side, feeling your heart beginning to race with happiness the moment jinwoo reaches into his backpack and pulls out the warm thermos, his eyes going wide. you couldn't help but gently laugh at his bewildered expression.
he was just so cute to you.
with a smile on your face, you watch as he opens the thermos, taking a swig out of the coffee while letting out a happy sigh. "wow, just how i like it, too. maybe jinah made this for me?"
"i'm really sorry about this, hunter sung jinwoo!" the worker calls out to him, but jinwoo simply smiles back at him.
"no worries! i think my sister packed some coffee for me before she left, so it's fine!"
before you could watch jinwoo enter the gate, you were suddenly pulled back by a force, preventing you from moving forward.
[ MISSION 1, COMPLETED ]
with a look of absolute yearning, you call out to jinwoo,
"STAY STRONG AND BE BRAVE! I BELIEVE IN YOU!"
and for a brief second, before you were ripped away from this tiny portion of his life, you could have sworn that jinwoo turn around to look in your direction-
{ ... }
despite how this all felt unreal to you, you couldn't deny the sheer amount of happiness you felt, being labeled as jinwoo's guardian by the system.
in fact, you had felt so blessed, being a part of jinwoo's most prominent moments in his life.
from his second awakening, being resurrected due to the system's choosing while giving him several side quests and missions-
to helping him heal even the most grievous of injuries when he had to go against kang taeshik-
you were just so elated by it all.
never once did you leave his side, using your own system in hopes of making jinwoo's life easier.
[ COMPLETE ]
[ COMPLETE ]
[ COMPLETE ]
it was strange, but each mission that was given to you was tied deeply to your desire to help and protect jinwoo. whenever jinwoo had a need for a certain potion or elixir to help with replenishing his stamina or mana (especially during his earlier stages of leveling up), it would always mysteriously appear in front of him.
and during the moments where jinwoo showed his concerns for his mother and the well-being of his little sister, you would always stay behind and make sure that they were doing well. you knew that someday soon, jinwoo would make the holy water of life for his mother, but still kept watch over her to make sure that she remained undisturbed.
you kept going through the motions of his life, and once jinwoo was able to safely awaken his mother, you left jinwoo's side to give him a moment of privacy between him and her. even though you knew what would happen (burning the image of his crying face filled with relief and joy into your memories), it didn’t feel right to intrude on such an intimate moment.
yet you leaving the scene in the hospital suddenly brought you to a different part in jinwoo's life.
it had to be sometime after his mother's awakening, as jinwoo was seen dressed in all black. his hair was blowing gently with the wind as he remained seated on top of a building. his eyes were glowing, and it seemed as though he was waiting for something. you trail your gaze up towards the skies, seeing it being painted in an ominous, glowing violet hue.
you suddenly felt a strange pang against your chest, recognizing this scene as being the one that made you so jealous that it hurt.
it was the scene where jinwoo ask hae-in out to the amusement park before showing her the starry skies.
you watch with your heart clenching so painfully when he chooses cha hae-in's number and gives her a call, his voice filled with a gentle fondness as he asks if she was free. knowing what would happen in the chapter, it was clear that she would drop her training, just to be with him.
despite how you felt your throat clenching in response, you were given little time to react as the scene suddenly shifts once more, leaving your form cast to the side as you landed haphazardly against the street of the amusement park.
you could feel the heat dyed against your cheeks, finally grateful that no one could see you. you look to your front to see jinwoo and hae-in walking together, feeling your heartache reach even new levels. surrounding you were people who looked at the two hunters with awe, clearly admiring them as they stepped aside and made room for them, allowing them to walk freely around the amusement park.
if you thought reading this chapter was difficult, then your past self was dead wrong-
for witnessing this in action hurt far worse than this.
you shake your head just then, fighting back your tears as you stood back to your full height. with a determined nod, you take to the skies once more, following the future couple as they continued their endeavors within the amusement park.
you kept your focus on jinwoo, ignoring the pain in your heart each time hae-in was beside him.
like a movie playing out on the big screen, you watch as they rode every ride the amusement park had to offer. their expressions were left blank and filled with a boredom, not feeling the thrills like normal people would.
in fact, the scene was so funny and cute that you couldn't help but laugh.
after spending a few hours tailing from close behind them, you follow jinwoo and hae-in as they had lunch together.
"are you getting bored?"
"hey, no. i'm having fun."
hae-in admits to jinwoo while taking sips of her soda.
you could hear the amusement in jinwoo's voice when he asks, "then how come you haven't cried or screamed at least once?"
he sighs while playing with the straw of his own drink, resting his cheek against the palm of his hand while stating, "the games are a bit 'slow', aren't they?"
"hm, ah... yes..." there seemed to be a bit of an awkward silence when hae-in trails off.
suddenly, your heart was felt clenching once more when jinwoo gives hae-in a charming smile.
"so should we get on to something more exciting?"
her blush was evident, and you could barely breathe when the scene shifts once more.
you were back to the skies now, with jinwoo and hae-in riding on one of his shadow soldiers, a large dragon that flew across the heavens while seeming to cut through the setting sun with its shadowy wings. even as the tears were felt streaming down your face, you couldn't deny that such a scene was utterly beautiful to you.
you could not hear a single word that was being said between them, but you recall their words clearly from reading it so many times, back when your pain felt so fresh- just like an open wound against your heart.
you continue to hover above jinwoo and hae-in, allowing your tears to fall down against his cheek as his eyes seemed to widen in response.
"what... is it raining?" jinwoo trails his eyes up at the sky, and you had to move away from them as hae-in gave jinwoo a questioning glance.
"no, there are no clouds... it's not raining at all."
forcing your heart to calm down its rapid beats, you let out a shaky breath, wondering if somehow...
he could feel you after all...?
you shake your head at the thought and continue to follow them, knowing exactly where jinwoo planned to take her as the scene shifts for you once more. you watch as they arrived at a gorgeous meadow surrounded by the gentle forest, remaining up high in the sky as they admired the stars together.
"system... could you do something for me?"
[ of course. ]
you close your eyes and allow the tears to freely fall now. "summon a meteor shower... a show of the stars and heavens themselves for the lovers to enjoy."
[ as you wish. ]
you allow the system to summon a gorgeous meteor shower, hearing hae-in's gentle gasp while looking up at the stars. streaks of light trailed behind each meteor as the starry skies seemed to glow in response to the strange and ephemeral phenomena.
"it's so... beautiful."
your smile was filled with a hidden sadness, yet you couldn’t deny just how happy you felt being able to do this for him. and as you look over to see jinwoo's own reaction, you felt your heart stop in response.
for he was not looking at the skies or the falling stars-
he was looking directly at you.
"yes... beautiful."
yet before you could even speak, you saw the system's message as you were pulled away from the moment once more.
[ COMMENCING FINAL MISSION: FAREWELL ]
your heart was pounding as the tears fell freely down your face, suddenly taken to what looked like a more peaceful time.
your feet were staggering, trying to maintain your balance when you take shaky steps against the sidewalk. the sun was setting, and you saw what looked like jinwoo in his university years, standing with hae-in as he spoke to her while admiring the setting sun.
you knew what you had to do. now that you had done what your heart had always desired to do, you step closer to jinwoo to whisper in his ear.
"jinwoo, even though i am certain that you never saw me, i thank you for giving me this chance to be with you... to help with making your life even the tiniest bit better."
you let out a sniffle before shakily continuing,
"you have always been a sole source of comfort for me, and i know i need to take this chance and let you go so you can find the happiness that you deserve."
as jinwoo continues to smile down at hae-in, hanging on to her every word, that was when you let your tears fall once more before telling him one last time.
"i love you, and i'll always wish for your happiness."
with those finally words set free from the depths of your heart and soul, you felt a warmth filling you, with your form disintegrating into thin air as you felt your consciousness slowly return back to your world. yet even though you knew you would never see him again, you felt... content-
at peace, even.
[ well done, it is time for you to awaken... ]
the last thing you recall was seeing a blinding light… allowing your body to bask in its brilliance one last time…
{ ... }
there was a sudden emptiness felt within the depths of sung jinwoo's heart-
and he wasn't sure what was wrong with him.
jinwoo was never the same after he lost... something; even after he had used the cup of reincarnation while proceeding to live his life as a normal human being, there was a gaping hole left within his chest.
he remembers the feeling of a warmth surrounding him; of the sounds of a gentle voice calling out to him while encouraging him. it may have been silly, but...
jinwoo developed a great courage and strength thanks to that gentle voice alone.
yet now, he felt as though he had suddenly lost it.
no longer did he feel such warmth coursing through his veins. no longer could he feel that comforting presence that made his courage soar to new heights-
heights that he never could believe he could even reach.
such feelings of emptiness was what ultimately made his heart feel closed off from those that he loved...
from his parents and sister...
from cha hae-in.
he spent the following days being lost in a trance, and he didn't know what to do to feel whole again.
"my, i did not believe that the loss of her presence would affect you so deeply."
jinwoo lets out a gasp, suddenly finding himself within the same meadows ashborn had confronted him in; the moment he had died and was fully reborn as ashborn's successor- the shadow monarch.
the wind was felt coursing through his hair, and he could not bring himself to speak to ashborn, eyes losing what little light it once had.
had he fallen asleep? was that why he was back in the land of repose?
"you are unhappy." ashborn's voice echoes throughout the realm, and jinwoo could no longer ignore him.
"am i unhappy?"
jinwoo was dimly aware of the bitter laugh that escapes from ashborn's parted lips before suddenly changing into someone-
an unfamiliar young woman as his voice takes on her tone.
"have you forgotten? i am you and you are me."
jinwoo recognizes that voice, eyes going wide as he reaches out to the unfamiliar figure-
he was certain he had never seen such a young woman before in his life-
yet that voice-
that resounding voice who always always always seemed to comfort him when his fears had taken over him-
the strange image of the young woman and that comforting voice-
it had to be one and the same.
"who is she?! and... how come i can't seem to find her, or even know her... yet- i-i know her voice! she-"
"the woman hails from another universe, one that is like the world you currently reside it, yet different."
jinwoo could feel his head begin to spin upon hearing such a revelation. "she... she is-"
"she is not from your world. your lives would have never collided had it not been for my intervention."
the young hunter's throat began to turn dry, unable to form a coherent thought when ashborn continues to speak.
"the world she lives in is a safe one; one where the only monsters that exists are simply those selfish humans and their own dark desires. gates and the presence of rulers and monarchs have never touched her world..."
he watches with a fascination, seeing the alluring girl flash him a smile.
"in fact, your whole life may be nothing but a mere story within her world."
jinwoo finally snaps out of it, hands clenched into fists when he asks, "how can i reach her? is there a way for me to be with her with the way i am now? can i use my powers as a monarch to find her?"
"... don't you think it's foolish to give up all that you've known for her?"
ashborn's words were enough to make jinwoo freeze in his tracks.
"think carefully about my words, i told you she comes from a world where beings like monarchs and rulers do not exist.
if you decide to find her; to join her in such a world that is so vastly different from your own, then you will lose your powers as a monarch. you will be reverted back to a normal man.
will you truly give up your peaceful life here? your family, your friends- every battle you have faced will be all for naught if you decide to reach her."
jinwoo allows his hair to fall across his eyes, covering them from ashborn when he steadily asks, "why did you allow her to come here, then?”
a silence was felt permeating at the air, becoming thick with tension as ashborn decided on whether to tell him the truth or not.
"i sent her here, allowing her to live certain moments of your life together solely because of the strength of love she held for you."
that was all the answer jinwoo needed as he met with ashborn's gaze, telling him his answer with a determination seen within his glowing, purple eyes.
{ ... }
you wake up with a start, your breathing coming out in shaky breaths as the tears couldn't seem to stop. with a sigh, you cover your swollen eyes with both of your hands, struggling to catch your breath as you sorted through your every emotion.
you felt happy-
you felt love and adoration-
and the pinpricks of heartbreak coming into full fruition at the memory of jinwoo and hae-in together.
yet perhaps more so than that was the feeling of utter peace you felt after waking up from your dream.
feeling your smile going wide, you decide to wake up and begin your day.
you collect the volumes of solo leveling that you owned, making a note to yourself to buy the next volume when it came out. as you placed the solo leveling manhwa on your bookshelf, you begin to tidy up your room (making your bed and charging your phone in the process.)
it was strange; despite how you were 100% certain that you had been dreaming about being close to jinwoo as his guardian, you couldn't deny how much happier you felt once you woke up. it was true, the heartache was still there, yet you knew that as long as jinwoo was happy-
then you would be happy, too.
letting out a content sigh, you decide that it was high time that you changed your life for the better-
all while using the courage jinwoo had given you to become stronger.
{ ... }
there were rumors going around about a cute new freshman who transferred to your university, and despite how you held zero interest for any new students (because truly, new students came in troves each semester), you couldn't deny that you felt intrigued.
apparently, he was korean, with a face that could match with any current idol. according to the rumors, he had messy locks of black hair and dreamy, grey eyes. several girls had already tried speaking to him, practically throwing themselves at him-
yet he would always turn them down and tell them that he already had someone he liked.
but that didn't seem to discourage the girls (and some of the boys, too) from crushing on this handsome freshman. and admittedly, their antics seemed to greatly amuse you.
after completing your study sessions with your friends, you tell them that you had to go back to your dorm and make some dinner while working on your paper that was due soon. despite how they didn't want to see you go, you admitted to them how you would be too distracted at wanting to talk to them to get much work done.
in the end, they relented and allowed you to leave. you were simply walking back to your dorm, finding safety and comfort from within the street lamps that lit up the sidewalks. as you continued your trek, you look up to see an extremely tall young man walking down in the opposite direction.
the sight of him dressed in a hoodie and jeans makes you stop dead in your tracks, unable to look away from him. he also takes notice of your stance, yet instead of ignoring you and walking away-
he takes several steps towards you.
you were frozen on the spot, left staring up at him as the young man pulls down his hood, revealing unruly locks of ebony hair and a kind smile to you.
"hey, i've been looking everywhere for you."
his tone had a hint of an accent on it, but you couldn't deny that his english was impeccable. his presence made you feel butterflies all across your abdomen, and you weren't sure why that was.
"d-do i know you?"
you hear his rich chuckle echoing throughout the campus as he steps closer to you, allowing his large hand to gently touch at your cheek in an almost tender manner.
he whispers your name all while tracing at your bottom lip with his thumb.
"you do know me... i think you know me better than anyone else in the entire universe."
you then trail your gaze up to his eyes, only to see the perfect grey quality of them.
"sung jinwoo?!" his name comes out as a shock to you, yet before you could even fully process it, he takes you in his arms, allowing you to bury your face within his chest as a sense of relief courses through him.
"you have no idea how utterly lost i felt without you... how much my life had gone stale the moment you had said your goodbyes to me."
words were unable to come from your parted lips, your breathing coming out in ragged gasps as you suddenly felt the tears dot your vision. unable to deny the love you still held for him, you allow your arms to wrap around his back-
almost greedily.
"y-you know who i am?"
jinwoo's chuckle was a light one, and you felt something soft touching at the top of your hair when he admits to you.
"ashborn showed me your actions through the system... and once i realized how you were always there for me, i knew that i could not let you go."
he gently pulls you away from his chest, his eyes filled with emotion as tears streamed down his cheek, "i know that it was selfish of me, giving up everything that i have known just to be with you-
b-but in the end, it was worth it because i know that no one loves me like you do."
unable to hide back your happiness, you lean up to meet with his parted lips in a searing kiss. you could taste the saltiness of his tears as he held on to you, not daring to let you go as you basked in the arms of the man who loved you enough to give up everything he had ever known-
a man who would choose to cross universes, just to be with you.
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a.n. - damn, this story was 5k words 🥹 but i hope that this was a story that you dreamt of, sweet reader of mine; one that would help put your daydreams to rest as i tried to bring each word to life. this is unedited, but i promise i'll make any edits after i post this absolute masterpiece of a request
all stories are written by rei; reposts, translations, and plagiarism are not allowed.
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ladykailitha · 2 months ago
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The Caged Bird Still Sings Part 7
This story is just coming right along. I've decided that it is split into three acts. The Arrangement, The Turn, and The Embrace. The first is about Steve adjusting to his new life. The second is thinking he needs to get out of the situation. And lastly the third is about finding acceptance and love with Eddie.
Yesterday for WIP Wednesday, I finished act 1. I figure if I pace this right, each act will be roughly ten chapters. But we'll see.
In this Eddie is sweet as always, Steve goes clothes shopping, and Chrissy misunderstands what Steve is trying to do.
Part 1 Part 2 Part 3 Part 4 Part 5 Part 6
~
Steve woke up to the sound of someone knocking on his door. He looked at the clock on the nightstand blearily. It was a little after nine am.
The knocking began again and he got unsteadily to his feet and wandered over to the door. He opened it.
Behind the door was a porter. “My apologies for the rude awakening, sir. But this came for you, marked ‘Urgent’.”
In the porter’s hands was a small box. Steve nodded and took the box. He set it on the side table and grabbed his wallet. He tipped the porter and grunted his thanks before slamming the door.
He trotted back over to the bed and flopped face first back into his pillows.
The next time he awoke it was more naturally, and closer to 10:30am than 9am. He rolled over on his back with a sigh. He’d missed breakfast, but he didn’t mind. He was tired. Just the feeling of nothingness clung to his chest like a heavy blanket.
He sat up and spotted the box. He picked it up and padded over to the desk. He looked around it for a moment and to his delight he found a letter opener.
“Thank god, for fussy hotels,” he murmured as he used the letter opener to open the box. He set the letter opener down and then took the box over to the sofa. He loved comfy it was despite it being black in color.
He pulled at the packaging to reveal a pair of designer sunglasses. Steve smiled as he pulled it out. Eddie must have thought of it when he heard Steve’s message about his day. All the driving around he did.
He picked up the phone and called Eddie.
“Hey, little Canary,” Eddie purred. “Did you sleep well?”
“Nearly,” Steve said with a hint of smile in his tone. “I got this urgent package from this hot rich guy that the front desk just had to wake me up for.”
“Whoops!” Eddie said, chagrin. “I didn’t think it would get there until this afternoon, sweetheart.”
Steve laughed. “It’s okay, I was able to go right back to sleep. Even remembered to tip the porter.”
“All’s well that end’s well,” Eddie said softly.
They talked for a bit before Steve said, “Oh, I was meaning to ask you. I have something I wanted to send to you. Is there an address or something I can send it to, to make sure you get it?”
“Aww...little Canary,” Eddie teased back, “you don’t have to send me anything. I like buying you things.”
“Oh I know,” Steve replied. “But I think you’ll really get a kick out this one, though.”
“Sure thing, baby,” Eddie said. “I’ll talk to Chrissy and she’ll give you a call with the information. How does that sound?”
“That sounds perfect, Eddie,” Steve murmured.
“What are your plans for today?”
Steve licked his lips as he thought about it. “Probably some clothes shopping now that I have this fancy black card to splash around.”
Eddie laughed. “You do that, baby. Just tell me which stores you’re going to so I can make sure they’re warned ahead of time about the card. Places like that are super weird about new people coming in with that kind of cash.”
“Ooh...” Steve said with a grimace. “Yeah, I saw that happen once. This woman had won the lottery or something and she came into the shop when I was there with my mom. The sales woman was absolute horrid to her and chased her out. My mom threw the newspaper on the counter and walked out. The front page had the picture of the woman and her three million dollar prize check. It was one of the few times I ever saw my mom do something remotely nice like that.”
After they hung up, Steve got up grabbed the box of truffles. He took a couple out to the box to eat while he gather up his things for a shower. He thought about hitting the gym again, but he wasn’t sure if the pink bitch was still here and he wanted to avoid her like the plague. And while he knew he could swim instead, he decided to take the day off.
Yesterday had been rough and he wanted to do a little bit of retail therapy.
Steve got dressed in his most high end clothing he had and made his way out to his car. Which he knew would be another indicator that he had come from money. His new wallet was designer, just like his new sunglasses.
He primped in the mirror a little to make sure every hair was in place and then he gathered all his stuff and made for his car.
He pulled up to the row of boutiques his mother used to frequent before she started getting her clothes from Paris and Milan. Steve personally thought these places had better quality stuff, but he wisely kept his mouth shut.
He walked into the first boutique and looked around. He kept his sunglasses on until one of the sales women came up to him. Then he lifted him and set them on top of his head. He smiled at her brightly.
“Welcome to Le Chique!” she said cheerily. “How can I help you today?” She was dressed smartly in a knee length pencil skirt and cream silk blouse. She wore high heeled pumps and had her hair pulled back into a tight bun.
“Hi,” Steve greeted back. “I’m just looking to update my wardrobe. Get a little more of an adult style.”
He could see the fucking dollar signs lit up behind her eyes. She clapped her hands together and rubbed them greedily.
“Right this way,” she said, waving her arm in front of her and Steve stepped forward, further into the store. “I’m Olivia and I’ll be happy to assist you today.”
Steve tried on so many clothes he thought his head was going to spin. But never once did Olivia falter. He finally got an updated look. It was similar to what he usually wore with the jeans and polos. But he also got button down shirts and tailored slacks and pants. Everything that fit went with him and everything else that needed to be tailored would be picked up by a PA of Eddie’s and brought to the hotel.
In fact when he got back to the hotel, the mysterious PA had struck again. On his bed was a large box. As he got closer he could see it was from the shop he was at earlier today.
He didn’t know what it could be. He had everything he wanted from the shop. He had even gotten help carrying all his bags up the hotel room by a couple of porters, both of whom Steve tipped well. He kept an eye on the package the whole time he took off the tags and put away his clothes in the dresser and closet.
Once Steve was done he walked over to the package a tad warily. He knew it had come from Eddie. There was no one else it could have come from. He undid the silk ribbon and pulled it off gently. He lifted the lid and set it to the side. He then moved the tissue paper out of the way.
Inside was the most beautiful cream colored suit he had ever seen. He opened the jacket touched the black silk lining. Sticking out of the pocket of the breast pocket was a note. He pulled it out. In the loopy handwriting of the sales woman were the words, “I wanted to get you something special. I hope you’ll wear this for me when I get back to Hawkins.”
Steve shook his head, smiling fondly. He walked over to the phone and called Eddie. He bounced on the bed as it rang through.
“Hey, little Canary,” Eddie purred. “How was your shopping trip?”
“It was marvelous,” Steve giggled. “Though if you want me calling you at times other then when you buy presents, you’re going to have slow up a bit. It’s gorgeous, by the way.”
Eddie laughed. “You got me there, hon. But I’m glad you like the suit. I wanted to surprise you with it. I when I called about the card earlier, I told them that once they got your measurements to set it aside.”
“How did it get here before I did?” Steve asked, twirling the cord around his finger.
“See, I knew you would have a lot of clothes and couldn’t carry it up yourself, so I just made sure to have my little elf slip in while you were dealing with the porters.”
“Sneaky!” he crowed. “I love it. I even bought the perfect shirt to go with it. It’s black and grey in kind of watercolor like stripes. Add a black pocket square and some nice shoes I bought and I’d be the talk of the town.”
“Well you’re already the talk of my world,” Eddie murmured, causing Steve to blush dark red. “Have you eaten yet, little Canary?”
Damn. Steve knew he had forgotten something.
“No...” he whined. “I just got so excited about shopping that it slipped my mind.”
“Don’t you worry, I’ll have dinner sent up to you. I think you’ll really like their hamburgers.”
Steve smiled at that. He had gone out to Benny’s to get a good burger, and they had them here. “Sounds good.”
They talked for a little bit more before Eddie had to go so that he could order Steve dinner, so they said their goodbyes and hung up.
Steve decided to take a shower while he was waiting on his food. He gathered up his things including his new hair products he bought yesterday.
He got undressed and turned on the hot water, letting the steam fill the bathroom. He looked at himself in the mirror. He looked at every angle of his face and had to admit that he actually looked happy. And wasn’t that a fucking trip.
He had thought he was happy before all this. Yeah, sure his dad was a jerk and his mom was useless, but he had friends, money, a car. Hell, he even had a boyfriend in this backwater hick town.
And then it all fell apart.
He hated how all his friends scattered the second the chips were down. He hated how Tommy turned tail and didn’t even try to take Steve with him. He had no doubt that soon enough the town would be all a twitter about Tommy and Carol and how cute they were together.
It was all bullshit.
The only people that cared about him were the people that would get hurt the most by all this and Steve was determined to keep them out of it.
Just before he got into the shower, the phone rang.
He let out a sigh and went to go answer it. There were only three people who had his number, Eddie, Dustin, and Eddie’s manager, Chrissy. All people Steve didn’t want to leave hanging.
“Hello?” he greeted.
“Steve?” a cool female voice asked. “This is Chrissy, Corroded Coffin’s manager. I understand you wanted to send Eddie something?”
“Oh!” Steve cried. “Yes, thank you for getting back to me so soon. Yeah, it’s not very big, say about the size of a 3x5 picture frame?” He hurried over to the desk, dragging the phone and stretching its cord to the limit to pull out a pen and some hotel stationary.
She hummed. “It’s not, risque is it?”
He laughed. “What? No! It’s nothing like that I promise.”
“Okay,” Chrissy said skeptically. “We have people opening packages before they get sent to the band so don’t send anything you don’t want a total stranger to see.”
“I promise it will mean absolutely nothing to the poor soul that opens their mail,” he informed her, “but he will absolutely get a kick out of it.”
Steve could tell she was still leery about it, but he wasn’t going to ruin the surprise.
She let out a sigh. “Fine. Here’s the address to send it to.” She rattled off an address and Steve dutifully wrote it down. “By the time it gets there, they should be back in LA, so it’ll go to their main mail box.”
He wrote band PO Box over the address and underlined it. “Great, thanks.”
“Now do you need anything else that isn’t their personal information?” she huffed.
Steve winced, he could tell she wasn’t happy being Eddie’s errand girl and by extension, his.
“No,” he said, “Just that. It’s just a small token that I think he’d like.”
“All right,” she said. “Good evening.”
“Good evening!” he chirped back.
Once she had hung up, Steve shook his head. He knew it was her job to to look out for the band. But it wasn’t that big of deal. What she think she was going to do send his dirty panties to the guy?
Not!
He looked down at himself and sighed. He had carried that whole conversation completely naked. He padded back to the bathroom and stepped into the shower.
He stepped under the stream of water and let it soothe him. He was still smarting a little from Chrissy’s attitude. She seemed friendly enough at the bar and genuinely wanted to see Eddie and Steve hit it off.
But something between then and now she had completely soured on him. That was a problem for future Steve, though. Right now in this moment he was going to enjoy his shower, watch some TV and enjoy the burger Eddie was having sent up.
~
Part 8 Part 9 Part 10 Part 11 Part 12 Part 13 Part 14
Tag List: CLOSED
1- @rozzieroos @itsall-taken @redfreckledwolf @zerokrox-blog @beelze-the-bubkiss
2- @gregre369 ​@a-little-unsteddie @chaosgremlinmunson @messrs-weasley @cryptid-system
3- @maya-custodios-dionach @goodolefashionedloverboi @val-from-lawrence @carlyv @wonderland-girl143-blog
4- @justforthedead89 @irregular-child @bookbinderbitch @bookworm0690 @forgottenkanji
5- @anne-bennett-cosplayer @yikes-a-bee @awkwardgravity1 @littlewildflowerkitten @genderless-spoon
6- @dragonmama76 @ellietheasexylibrarian @thedragonsaunt @useless-nb-bisexual @disrespectedgoatman
7- @counting-dollars-counting-stars @tinyplanet95 @ravenfrog @swimmingbirdrunningrock @lingeringmirth
8- @gutterflower77 @a-lovely-craziness @just-a-tiny-void @w1ll0wtr33 @sticknpokelightningbolt
9- @scoops-aboy86 @kurofuckingshi16 @watermelonmite @eyehartart @dreamercec
10- @little-birch-boy @yearningagain @micheledawn1975 @blondie1006 @sadisticaltarts
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jennifer-jeong · 9 months ago
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Hi there :)
Can I request some headcanons about Xiao and Wanderer (separated) with an old s/o? Like, they've been together for decades, but reader is a mortal and they're not, therefore they don't have many years left to live now that they're in their 80s. I would like something sweet but feel free to add some angst in it.
HI ANON TY FOR YOUR ASK! Ok so I’m literally goiNG TO CRY because I actually purposely make my own self insert immortal because this makes me so depressed but dw I will make it a fluffy happy ending. I would be unwell if I didn’t make it a happy ending LMAO
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Fluff + Slight Angst | Xiao/Wanderer x Reader Mortals
CONTENT Fluff, some angst, gender neutral reader, HAPPY ENDING WOO, CHARACTERS ARE 18+
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XIAO has been alive for longer than he can genuinely remember and most of it was spent suffering alone. He’s scarred so deeply that even until the end of time, the marks will never fade. He can’t get rid of his past but you came along and he realized he could at least start to heal from the centuries of pain. Your time together has been the best years of his life and it makes his heart ache to think that you’re about to come and go before even living for a fraction of his life. He’s watched your mortal body age but he still thinks knows that you’re the prettiest thing he’ll ever encounter. Xiao has always treated his time with you like it was limited, even when you were younger. He’s been getting desperate recently though, your body has slowed down, and you’re well into your elderly years. He’s always wanted to ask you if he and Zhongli could help you with this, return you to your younger body and help you live forever. But, he thought it would hurt you. Immortality is more of a curse than a blessing and he of all people should know that. But as your health deteriorated, he started to plan how to ask you without pressuring you. Honestly, when he finally brought it up, you giggled at him and said “I didn’t even know you could do that.” He blinked as he realized how much time had passed and how he really had been avoiding it all these years. It was just somewhat unfathomable to a 2000 year old being that all these fun years with you had already been a few decades. He explains why he felt bad suggesting it, but you quickly comforted him and thanked him for even bringing it up. You said you needed some time to think about it but you knew that you wanted more time with your beloved. It’s near impossible for most people to find their soulmate and so since you found yours, you wanted to somewhat selfishly hold onto him as long as you could. Of course he secretly felt the same though. Your time together might end soon as the traveller discovers the underlying mysteries of the world or it could end millenia later. Either way, you knew you’d be able to face it, together.
WANDERER has been through so much over the past few centuries of his life and he’s believed his emotions have been so useless to him as he isn’t even human. His suffering, pain, and desire never made sense because he always lacked a heart. He thought he’d be doomed to this forever until he met you. You breathed life into his mechanical body and into his new anemo vision heart. He felt truly alive with you, it was like he was freshly born as a real man when you came into his life. He took a while to properly warm up to you before he could express himself in a healthy way but you always had the patience for him. The problem was that he couldn’t have the same patience, not because he wasn’t a healthy partner, but because your life had a definite end. He was impatient because he couldn’t lose you and he didn’t know what else to do. He consulted Nahida/his mom about it and she suggested using his body as a template to create a body for you. One that would last forever with him. He was immediately overjoyed to hear that there was hope and he almost forgot to consider that you might not want to live forever. He probably tries to gauge if you would want to by prodding you with small questions but you see straight through him. You know something’s up, and you tell him that you know there’s enough trust between you two for either of you to speak freely. So he does. You take some time to debate it and decide to do it because even if at some point you can’t take it, you’d talk to him about it and come up with a solution (but you doubt that'll come up <3). There was a lot going on in Teyvat at the moment but just knowing that you’d have more time gave both of you peace. He was worried that afterwards you might not be the same, and that you might become emotionally hollow. But you knew that with him there, you’d never feel any less alive. Even without your physical body, you both had your souls, and it was all you’d ever need.
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|| MASTERLIST ♡ || Thank you for reading! ||
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msgexymunson · 1 year ago
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Forbidden Fruit Part 5
Description: the situation has come to a head, and you prepare to run off into the sunset with Eddie. But, will you be able to come back? 
A/N: so, this 'one shot' turned into a 5 part freakin' torrid romance! Thank you guys for the support! This is the final part, I hope you enjoy it. Remember, I live for your reblogs and comments, I need them like Tinkerbell needs claps. 
Warnings: NSFW, 18+ Minors DNI this ain't for you! Dom Eddie, Fem reader, age gap, reader 21 Eddie early 40s, fingering, p in v unprotected sex (that's how you make babies) anal (that's NOT how you make babies), eloping, spit play, like one spank, parental confrontations, angst with happy ending.
7.5k words
Masterlist Part 1 Part 2 Part 3 Part 4
Is this even happening right now? 
Your breath catches in your throat as you take in the figure in front of you. He looks frantic, eyes wide and a little wild, hairs flying free from the low bun on his head. The mark your father gifted him has blossomed on his eye; it's a little swollen, glowing with a flesh flower of purple and yellow.
"How did you even get in-" 
"Oh, your Dad forgot he gave me a spare key. I saw your mom leave. I've been waiting for days, your house has been like fuckin' Alcatraz." 
You nod, fully aware of how crazy it's gotten.
"Eddie… Vegas?" You say, reaching for his face with a soft touch. Wincing, he holds your hand with his, enveloping it as he brushes his lips against your fingers sending a shiver up your spine. 
"Listen. The weekend we had, all I could think was that I wanted it to be real. Every time I heard Mr and Mrs Munson, it fucking hurt." He looks away briefly; it's like this is difficult to admit. You wait patiently, hand still in his. 
"I- I love you sweetheart." Gaze back on yours, his eyes are soft and glassy. 
"I love you too, so much. But Eddie, you still haven't said. Vegas?" Prompting again, your heart in your throat, airway constricted with feelings. You know what he's saying, but you want him to say it. You need him to say it. 
"I wanna marry you sweetheart. I want… no, I need to wake up with you every day, in my arms. If you'll have me?" Large hands find your waist, holding you in front of him as you look into his bourbon whiskey eyes. 
"Yes. I'll have you." Grinning like an idiot, you wrap your arms around his neck, the gesture so natural and right it brings tears to your eyes. The kiss you share is soft, but brief. 
"As much as I want to just hold you right now, we need to go, in case you're widowed before we even get hitched." He's chuckling, but the edge of nerves is prominent in his voice. 
"OK, gimme like five minutes." 
Never has a duffel bag been filled so fast. Clothes, underwear, shoes, toothbrush; you're not even sure what you've packed, but the bag is full, so that will have to do. Eddie grabs the bag as if it's weightless and throws it on his shoulder, ushering you out with his hand on the small of your back. 
"Wait, I need to leave a note at least, otherwise he might call the police or something."
He might anyway, he's lost it. 
You scribble down that you've gone on a trip and you'll be back, so you can all talk about this like adults. That last part is underlined. Signing your name, you both hustle out of your house and into Eddie's waiting truck. 
As he drives away, the magnitude of what you're doing truly hits you. Is this what you want? You and Eddie, Mr and Mrs Munson, until death do you part? 
You steal a glance at Eddie whilst he's driving. His strong jaw, the spackling of day old stubble, his serious concentration face he wears when he's driving. Any doubts you have melt, disintegrating into those beautiful eyes. He's the one. He's always been the one. 
********************
Sunlight is dwindling, fading over the horizon slowly as you pull into a motel car park for the night. The room is… well, it's there. A bed and a bathroom, fitted with outdated decor that would look more at home in the 70's, including the lumpy mattress. It will do for now, merely a pit stop on the road. 
Flumping down onto the ancient mattress, a dust cloud fluffing up, you stretch your arms towards Eddie, making grabby hands at him. 
He laughs, dumping your bags before dramatically falling on top of you with all his weight. 
"Eddie, I'm dying…" you croak out in a feigned weak voice, shutting your eyes and allowing your tongue to loll out of your mouth. 
The drama is short lived however, as he runs the tip of his tongue over yours. 
"Eddie!" You admonish, "I'm trying to die here, stop making it sexy!" 
"Sweetheart, I can't help what turns you on." Smirking, he lands sloppy kisses on your mouth, all wet spit and smacking noises. 
"Baby, you animal, can we eat first?" 
"I was planning to." The kisses turn sultry, lips and nips trace up to your earlobe, sucking the skin in the way he knows you love. 
"Eddie…" a warning tone, but there's an obvious lack of bite. 
"OK, food. Gotcha." He's off you then, bouncing to his feet, leaving you breathing hard and heavy on the bed. 
Eddie knows. The grin he's wearing is sinful, but for once he doesn't tease you. All he does is grab leaflets for nearby places and gets you to choose. Settling on a nearby pizza place, a gentle kiss is perched on your forehead as he leaves to get your order. 
The grime that had gathered on you for the last few days is getting to you, so you take a long shower whilst he's gone. At the very least, the showers are hot. Basking under the steaming water, you rinse the dirt away and grab a less than fluffy towel from the rack, drying off. 
You slip on the silk robe you managed to bring and sit cross legged on the bed just in time to see Eddie hustle through the door. 
Eddie makes it inside, shutting the door behind him, moving with purpose. Until he sees you, that is. He staggers back dramatically then, as if he's about to faint. 
"Sweetheart, you expect me to eat whilst you're in that robe? How can I concentrate on food with you looking hotter than sin?" 
You smirk, tying it tighter around your body, perky nipples creating peaks in the fabric. 
"Give me my pizza and then you can have what you want." 
"Oh… might have to hold you to that" He smirks, passing you the take out boxes. 
You both sit and eat, drinking a couple of beers between you. The pizza is soon demolished and you lie back in lumpy pillows, sated and content. 
"So…do I get my dessert now? Please?" 
Eddie's raking over your form with hungry eyes, mentally stripping you bare of clothes with just one heated glance. A nod and he's on you, sucking a bruise so hard in your neck you fear it might be permanent. 
As he starts to run his tongue down your throat, you push him off with a little force that shocks him completely. 
"What's wrong? You OK?" He asks as he pulls away, deeply concerned by your actions. 
"We're getting married right? I forgot, I need something old, something new, something borrowed and something blue!" 
"Really?" He chuckles, looking at your panicked eyes, "right now?" 
"Yes! I mean, it's bad luck, isn't it? What if we get there and I don't have them, or what if-" 
"Stop. Just breathe sweetheart." His soulful eyes drill into yours, finding the calm and bringing it to the surface. You take a deep breath and squeeze his hands with yours. 
"OK. I mean, I've got something old, my birthstone ring, had it for as long as I can remember." As you speak you flash your hand at him, indicating the tiny band with the small sparkling stone set in it. 
Eddie plants a kiss over the top of it, setting your insides on fire. 
"Right, one down. As for something borrowed, you can always borrow this." 
He takes a small unassuming ring off his finger. It doesn't sit well with the rest, tarnished and old looking; what looks like a mood stone is set in the centre. Wordlessly he hands it to you. 
Turning it over in your hands, you look up at him with glistening eyes. 
"It was my moms." 
"It's really pretty." 
"So was she." 
Seems that's all the information he's willing to give. You try it on a couple of fingers before you settle on your thumb. 
"Hmm, tiny hands" He laughs, rubbing your palms with his thumbs. 
"So, what about-" 
"Listen. I was gonna wait for this, but if you need this now…" 
He gets up, striding toward his abandoned leather jacket and fishes around for a moment. Then, he's back, a small black ring box in his hand. 
"I was gonna do this in Vegas but-" 
Flipping it open, you see a dainty ring inside. A beautifully cut diamond nestled in the centre, surrounded by what appears to be a ring of rubies, set in a thin white gold band. 
"Eddie, what the- when?" You ask, a lump forming in your throat, constricting it with emotion. 
"The day after my little confession. It was wild I know, I thought I might have a chance to talk to you, talk to your dad, but he lost it and I… I panicked." He shrugs, like buying some expensive engagement ring is normal behaviour. 
"Eddie…" words escape you momentarily as you stare dumbfounded at Eddie. 
"Do you like it?" 
"Do I like it? It's like you pulled it out of my brain, it's gorgeous!" 
Eddie grins massively, slipping the ring out of the box and sliding it gently onto your ring finger. Surprisingly, it fits. Turning your hand this way and that, you watch the stones glimmer in the lamp light. Words cannot express the feelings churning through you as you watch the light refract from the diamond. 
"Eddie its too much-" 
"Nope. Not having it. It's for you, if anything it's not enough. You deserve, like- a herd of ponies and a private island or something." 
You laugh loudly, sheer joy overrunning all senses as you stare at the ring.
"So, you wanna tell me what this is really about sweetheart?" 
"Huh?" You tear your eyes away from the sparkling rock and look him in the eyes. 
"Come here." He says, patting his thigh. 
You swing your legs over him, thighs sitting side saddle against his muscular jean clad legs. Immediately he grabs the back of your neck, his other hand stroking at the inside of your knee. Face forced to look at him, you can't escape the serious look in his eye. 
He continues, "what is this about? You having doubts about this, 'bout us?" 
Shock widens your eyes. 
"No! Not at all, it's just… well it's silly." 
His look softens as he begins to stroke your inner thigh. "No it isn't, not if you're worried. What is it?" 
His hands are all consuming, filling your senses with nothing but his touch. 
"It's just… I'm a student. I'm not earning any money. And after that, I've got more training so I can be a teacher. I don't want you to have to… I dunno, provide for me I suppose." Your eyes dip downwards, almost ashamed of your own deepest thoughts. 
"Hey. Look at me, my good girl." 
Your body won't let you disobey the command in his voice, no matter how soft it is. Your eyes flash up to meet his in an instant. 
"I want this. I want you, and everything that means." His hand on your leg traces higher, whispering over the soft skin and dipping unseen, but not unfelt, underneath your robe. 
"I know you're still getting your qualifications and that's fine. I've got a big house sweetheart, two cars, hell I own the mechanic shop outright. I've got more money than I know what to do with." 
His hand trails even higher, rough fingertips grazing your slit making you gasp. Running his fingers up and down your folds gently, gathering seeping wetness, he continues. 
"The only thing I'm missing- is you. I can't stop thinking about you being mine, my partner, my wife. I'll pay for your schooling if I have to, I don't care. I need you in my life." 
"Eddie… I don't know what to say. Do- do you mean it?" You ask, eyes glossing over. 
"Sweetheart, I've never been more serious in all my life." 
His middle finger breaches your entrance then, just enough for you to feel it and start clenching. It's toying with you almost, just up to the first knuckle. 
"So, you still want me, sweetheart?" 
"O-oh of course- oh fuck!" 
He plunges two thick fingers deep inside you suddenly, pulling a needy howl from you at the unexpected pressure. Plunging them in and out of your wet heat he continues to hold your neck in place, keeping you staring at him. 
"Keep looking at me. I need to see you come. Can you do that? Can you come for me sweetheart?" 
You whine in response, a shake working its way over your skin and outstretching into the air around you, the room practically humming in anticipation. 
"I asked a question…" his voice is lilting, as if amused. His fingers keep his persistent drilling into your soaked cunt, the squelching noise echoing through the trashy room. 
"Y-yes Eddie" you respond, a whisper, a shadow of a promise. 
"That's my girl." 
The relentless pounding of his digits into your sodden pussy continue, unrelenting. You wail, convulsing almost, your slick heat contracting around his fingers hard as a ring of your creamy wetness circles them. 
Pressure mounts in your abdomen, the force pressing on your belly in waves. Eyes flutter shut briefly until Eddie's grasp on the back of your neck borders pain. They snap back open. 
"Eyes on me sweetheart." 
His gaze on you is unwavering, staring straight at you and into your soul. 
"You gonna come for me my girl? My beautiful, dirty girl? You look so pretty when you come." 
His words push you over the edge, striking straight at your cunt. You fall apart on his command, the magnitude of your release shaking your limbs. You're only dimly aware of the impossibly loud squelching sound that keeps going as he works you through your orgasm. 
As the stars start finally clearing from your vision you stare back at him gormlessly. 
Eddie finally removes his fingers from your core and shows his shining hand to you. 
"Soaked me sweetheart. Pretty sure you've ruined my jeans." 
Swinging your legs away from his lap you see the full extent of your release. The dark patch on his jeans is surprisingly large, absolutely drenched with your cum. 
"Fuck, I'm sorry-" 
"Don't apologise. That's hot as hell. Now, take my pants off for me sweetheart." 
Quirking an eyebrow at his request, you still oblige, unhooking the belt and shimmying his jeans off of his taut frame. You notice, with a flash of embarrassment, that your release has even soaked through to his boxers, leaving a damp patch on one side. Removing those too and flinging them away, you gawp at his rock hard length. Every time you see it, you think it's not going to fit, even though you have literal evidence to the contrary. 
"What now, Mr Munson?" You jokingly ask, mischief lacing your words. 
"Hmmm" He hums deeply, eyes impossibly dark, "so polite. I want you to ride me a little. I want to see that sexy body of yours bouncing in my lap. Think you can do that for me sweetheart?" 
You're nodding enthusiastically before you realise, slipping your silk robe off to join his bundle of clothes. 
Straddling him, you tease him just a little, your soaking lips dragging across his hardened length. Almost expecting him to admonish you for your bating movements, you stare into his eyes. Oh, he just looks amused, lips pulled into a playful half smirk. A look you have seen before, many times, which makes you realise that you were really in for it. 
Petulantly you tug at the hem off his shirt and give him a childish pout. "Off." 
"As you wish." The grin remains as he pulls his shirt over his head and throws it into the void. 
Stunned by his body for a second, you run your fingertips over muscles, tattoos and chest hairs, feeling him tighten under your ministrations. 
Enough teasing, you need him now. 
Holding his throbbing member with one hand, you line him up and slowly sink down until you're sitting flush on his lap. A mutual groan flies out of both of your lips; the feeling of him filling you completely, unsure where one ends and the other begins, is simply otherworldly. If you could bottle it you could make a fucking fortune. 
Eddie's hands grasp you firmly by the hips, dragging you forcibly up and down his staggering length. You do your best to keep up, using your thighs and your hands on his chest as leverage, but he is relentless today. Before you realise it, your head is lolling to one side, bones in your neck a distant memory. You can't think, only feel. 
Eddie knows. 
"Aw, sweetheart, fucked dumb already huh?" He asks, mocking words dripping from his tongue like bitter sweet honey. 
"I- I can't" are the only words you can manage, his unbroken pounding into you filling your entire being. 
"Shouldn't tease me so much then," he half laughs, and sits up, climbing to his knees to flip you backwards onto the bed. His arm hooks underneath your knee to bring it close to your chest as his powerful thrusts continue. 
"Holy shit, Eddie!" You squeal, cunt clamping around him hard. 
"My sweetheart gonna come again? That's it baby," his words are soft, juxtaposed against his ruthless drives into your sodden heat. 
You clench even harder if that were possible, fingers winding into his hair and pulling hard. Eddie grunts in satisfaction at the gesture as he bites his lip. His pleasured face pushes you over the edge, falling into the deepest depths of your orgasm, moaning your release to the heavens. 
"What a fucking good girl" He groans, releasing your leg so he can grab both of your hands, holding them above your head as he pumps out his release deep inside. You feel the throb of it which gives you that extra wave of pleasure. 
Lips crash into each other, arms pulling tight, the need to be closer palpable. 
You're kissing, and kissing, until an unexpected ringing brings you both out of your post sex daze. 
Is it the phone in the room? Who knows you're here? Panic sets itself deep behind your eyes. Maybe your parents had tracked you down? 
Eddie must sense your unease as he shushes you gently, planting a soft kiss to your forehead which helps release some of your tension. 
He gets up, pads naked over to the phone and picks it up as you tug the bedsheet around you. 
"Hello?" 
You hear the scratchy sound of a shitty phone line, no real words, just noise. Eddie starts smirking bizarrely, twisting the cord with one finger. 
"Of course. We'll keep it down. Sorry." 
Replacing the receiver with a click his grin spreads further as he looks at you. 
"Reception said they had two noise complaints, and asked us to be a little quieter." 
"Oh my God." Your cheeks flush with heat as you pull the blanket higher up to hide, only your eyes and the top of your head visible. 
"Don't be embarrassed." He says, laughing. 
"Easy for you to say, you're proud of yourself!" 
He pulls the cover down to get at your mouth, kissing you softly, and breathes the words on your cheek. 
"Yeah, maybe a little." 
Giggling, you slap his arm and he pulls you in for a squeeze of a hug, strong arms pinning yours to the side. 
"Hey, I've got a young, hot fiancée, I'm allowed to be a little cocky." 
********************
The first thing you noticed about Vegas was the noise. It was early afternoon but the place was a bustling hive of activity; loud chatting groups of excited tourists mingled with the cries of people pushing pamphlets and coupons into their hands. The dings and crashes and tinny music blaring from casinos, along with the honks of car horns and engines, and the weird and wonderful racket of street performers all blended into an overwhelming cacophony which filled your brain like some sort of drug. You could understand how people could get lost in the pull of it; hours, days passing in a place that never sleeps. 
The hotel you were staying in was at least better than the motel, but it was still a little… odd. Only dumping bags and running you had little time to take in your surroundings, but what you did see made you laugh. There was an actual stuffed tiger in the lobby, along with several pieces of erotic art. The weirdness didn't stop there; the massive mirror over the circular bed in your room piqued your interest, as well as the sparkly wallpaper and fake zebra skins on the floor. Not that any of it mattered. You and Eddie were getting married, and that was at the forefront of your mind the whole time. 
Mr and Mrs Munson. Mr and Mrs Munson. 
Stupid things were making you panic. You needed to practise your new signature. You would have to change your passport. Why your brain was focusing on the craziest things, you had no idea. Chalking it up to pre wedding jitters, you walk arm in arm with your future husband, eyes seeking out the next goal: a wedding dress. 
A glitzy store with full glass frontage and brass fixtures caught your eye, and you stopped to look at the dresses in the window. It wasn't a bridal boutique by any means, but the gowns in the window were more tasteful than any you had walked past in the hour or so you'd been searching. 
"This, this is the place." You halt in front of the shop, squeezing Eddie's hand. 
"OK, let's go." 
"No." You say forcefully, placing your palm on his chest. He looks at you confused, and a little hurt, but doesn't say a word. 
"You can't see it, it's bad luck!" You explain as his features give way to a smile. 
"Fine, you win. I'll find a Chapel. Anything I should know before I do?" He asks, cocking his head with the question.
"Yes. Please, no fat Elvis impersonators. I wouldn't be able to keep a straight face." 
"You sure? Don't wanna be married by The King?" 
Your scrunched up face makes Eddie laugh, throwing his head back. "OK, I get that. I'll find somewhere… tasteful. Well, I'll try to." He smirks, placing a card in your hands. 
"What's this?" 
"My credit card. Go nuts sweetheart." 
A lump firms in your throat at the level of trust. Despite that, it just doesn't feel right. 
"Eddie, I can't accept this." 
"You don't have a choice. Just take it, I'll feel better knowing you ain't counting pennies. Honestly, it's cool. This way you can get what you want." 
Shoulders slumping in defeat, you give in, accepting the card and slipping it into your pocket.
"Now, wait for me here. I don't wanna lose you." 
He plants a kiss on your forehead and walks off. 
Inside the shop, you know Eddie giving you his credit card was the right choice. It even smells expensive. The woman waiting for customers greets you with an enormous smile, and you explain what you are looking for. After a little search and a try on, you leave the shop with your dress, new shoes, and even a small veil from another place the store sent out for. You were ready. 
Eddie finds you twenty minutes later, with a love sick grin on his face. 
"I found somewhere, I think you'll like it. So, you find what you need?" 
"Yeah, I'm good" You smile back, handing him his card. 
"You can keep hold of it sweetheart."
"Nooooo" you say with feeling, forcing it into his hand, "that's just fucking dangerous." 
He laughs and takes your hand in his, ushering you into a waiting taxi. 
The cab pulls up to an unassuming building, pastel pink stucco covering the outside, along with a tiny steeple and fake bell. Taking a deep breath, you walk in, Eddie's hand firmly in the small of your back to guide you. At this point, you'd let him guide you anywhere. 
They know you are coming, the smiling ladies at the desk, and one of them leaps up in a cloud of perfume and blonde hair, leading you away immediately. 
"Heard all about you, so lovely to meet you! We've got somewhere for you to change, just come with me!" 
She introduces herself as Brenda, and leads you to a tiny back room with a full length mirror and a clothes rail and insists on helping you with your dress. She's talking a mile a minute, helping you to calm your nerves. 
"Oh he is handsome isn't he! And you are just lovely, I can see why he likes you. And the way he looks at you! Oh it's just so lovely. Let me help you with the zip honey. Oh, aren't you just a vision! Do a twirl, that's it, just perfect! You ready?" 
Am I ready? 
You stare at your reflection; the last time you'll look at yourself single. Butterflies dance in your belly, but searching your feelings you know it's excitement and not nerves. You want this; you can feel deep in your soul that this is the right decision. Staring down at your engagement ring, your birthstone ring, and his mother's ring on your thumb on the other hand, you smile.
"I'm ready." 
With a final spritz of perfume at your retreating back, Brenda waves you off and you walk into the room where you will marry the love of your life. 
The wedding march plays on a creaky organ as you walk down the short aisle. 
As your gaze lands on Eddie, your heart beats in your throat. He's wearing that tailored suit of his, but a white shirt now hugs his torso. No tie, as you could have predicted, but a sprig of cornflowers is tucked into his suit jacket pocket. 
Something blue.
It makes you smile, and cements the fact that this is right. He couldn't have known you'd pick a blue dress for the same reason, but here you were, matching. 
Your beautiful satin gown mirrored the powder blue in the flower, flared slightly at the waist to sit gently on your knee. The tasteful neckline scooped, sitting at your chest with an elegant fold. You had blue paper flowers interwoven in your hair, with a net veil tucked backwards away from your face. 
Your eyes never left him for a second. Vision locked, you stared at him pouring every ounce of your love into your gaze with each step you took towards him. Eddie's eyes seemed glassy. Was he about to cry? The thought made tears of your own well up. 
Reaching the end, you stop and face him. 
"Something blue huh?" You whisper, nodding at his flower accompaniment. 
"Something blue" He smiles, gesturing at your dress. "You look incredible." 
Keening at the praise, you look down for the first time and notice his heavy black biker boots. 
He shuffles uncomfortably in place. 
"I, er, forgot my shoes." 
"It's perfect. Very you." Smiling, you grasp his hand, and nod at the officiary in front of you. 
The officiary goes through the vows, up until it's time for the rings. 
The rings! How could I forget the rings?! 
Eddie's small smile is enough to calm you, as he reaches into his inside pocket and hands you a simple white gold band. He's holding a matching one. 
You flash a warm smile at him, one he reciprocates with a disarming wink. This is the man you fell for; always ready, fixing a situation, making everything OK with just a glance. 
The service ends quickly. They must have a quota to meet or something as before you know it, you are ushered outside and another couple are making their forever I Do's. 
"So, what now, Mr Munson?" You ask, threading your arms around his waist. 
"Hmmm, whatever Mrs Munson wants" He replies, nudging his nose with yours. 
The giggle that bubbles out of your mouth comes unbidden and doesn't seem to want to stop. 
"I think we should drink to our happily ever after, don't you?"  
"OK" he sighs, "one drink. Then, hotel. I wanna consummate this thing right now." 
The giggle turns into belly laughs as you respond, "I bet you do. But first a toast!" 
********************
Well. It turns out, Vegas gives a lot of things to newlyweds. A free steak dinner, some free spins, and free drinks. A lot of free drinks. The afternoon had bled into late evening, and your cheeks hurt from the permanent smile etched on your face.
You both stumble towards the rented room and open it with a key card on the third attempt. Making your way into the room, Eddie stops you in your tracks. 
"No, I gotta do this right" He mutters, as he lifts you up and cradles you in his arms to cross the threshold. 
"Eddie!" You shriek, wiggling in his arms as he lifts you into the room, banging the door shut with his foot. 
Eddie places you less than gracefully on the bed, the mattress wobbling under your weight. He hovers over you, looking distressed for a moment. 
"Fuck" He says, almost defeated, his knee forcing your legs apart.
"What?" 
"I used all my moves on you. Dunno what to do" He huffs into your neck, the hot air making you shiver. 
"You silly bastard" you laugh, grabbing at his arms in a futile attempt to pull him in.
"No, 'sgot to be special!" He whines childishly. 
"Eddie…" you attempt to get his attention, but he continues to look distraught, lips dragging soft and sloppy kisses over your neck. Inhibitions have truly left the building; the alcohol, eloping, and the feel of his hands all over you had you feeling rebellious.
"Well, you can always- stick it in my ass." 
The statement pulls him out of his overcome revelry and lifts his head to gape at you, soft brown eyes trying to judge if you're being serious or not.
"Huh??" 
"Well, you want to. You said it before. It'll… mark the occasion." You smirk at him, lifting your dress over your head and discarding it on one of the garish rugs in the room. 
Pretty underwear displayed, Eddie's eyes rake over your frame. All barely there light blue lace hugs your curves. His gaze covets your physique, roaming up and down your body with reckless abandon. 
"Well, you want to?" You ask, turning around beneath him so that your ass is pointing at him, almost wiggling in anticipation. 
"Ooh you dirty fuckin' girl" He breathes out, quickly freeing himself of his suit jacket and shirt. 
The rough pull of his hands forcing your hips up elicits a squeak from you, and before you know it he's running his tongue across your clothed pussy, dragging it up and up, and over your hole. Whimpering at the new sensation, you find yourself pushing back unconsciously onto his tongue.
"Fuck, my dirty girl. My dirty wife." 
Suddenly he hooks his tongue into the flimsy stripe of your panties, and you feel it against your bare ring. The sensation is new; different but very welcome. Moaning wantonly, your fingers grip onto the bed sheets. 
Eddie wrestles your underwear off you then, roughly working them down your thighs and off. Your bra goes too, flung into the abyss. Manhandling you back into position, your ass unceremoniously up in the air, he massages your cheeks with coarse hands. 
"Legs wider for me, sweetheart." 
You shuffle your knees, starting to feel self conscious in your position, but it's not good enough. 
"I said wider." 
A sharp smack to your ass takes you entirely by surprise, buzzing over your skin. A moan comes out of you at the sensation. 
"I think she likes that!" You can hear the smile in his voice. You move your knees further out to accommodate him. The lack of sound coming from him is making you feel uncomfortable, until you feel a soft kiss, just a simple brush of his lips against the cheek he just struck. 
"So fuckin' beautiful." 
He's licking into you then, tongue breaching your hole as he slips a finger deep into your cunt. 
"Oh fuck, Eddie!" 
It feels so messy, so naughty; the wet noises of Eddie's wiggling tongue, and of his thick finger pulling squelching sounds from deep within are loud and salacious. He hums satisfaction into you, the vibration driving you wild. The need is throbbing from you, your clit twitching at nothing. 
It's almost getting too much to take, his incessant movements making you feral with desires. 
"Eddie, please!" 
You expect teasing from him, a sarcastic comment, a pouting voice, but nothing comes. You just feel the emptiness of his tongue and finger exiting you, leaving you clenching at nothing. Then, the sound of his belt, clear as a bell. There's rustling, and a very quiet 'fuck'. 
"What's wrong Eddie?" You ask, trying to look over your shoulder. 
"Forgot my boots" He laughs, as he frantically tries to rid himself of his pants, boxers and boots in one go. You giggle at his eagerness. 
All laughter stops however when you feel him release a globule of spit directly on your hole. It has you clenching around nothing, thighs clenching at the seediness of it all. 
Then, his arms are on either side of your shoulders as he crowds over you, bare skin sliding on your back, his cock pushed between your legs. Hot breath fans the shell of your ear; his wavy hair tickling your neck. 
"You sure you wanna do this, pretty girl?" 
"Yes, please Eddie." 
He kisses your cheek, then your shoulder, soft, loving kisses that make your insides melt. 
"You tell me if it's too much sweetheart."
Kneeling up, he lines himself up with your hole, spitting down again at where you are so close to being joined, and pushes against you. 
The tip slides in and you gasp. It's not painful as such, just uncomfortable. Eddie's large hand strokes down your back, soothing you. 
"Just relax sweetheart." 
Heeding his words, you breathe through your nose and out through your mouth. 
"Look at you, doing such a good job. I'm gonna go further, OK?" 
"Y-yeah" you manage, the praise fluttering in your tummy. As he softly caresses your back with his hand, he pushes his length into you slowly, until he's fully seated inside. 
"Fuuuck… so tight sweetheart, holy shit." 
His breathing is laboured, both hands now grasping onto your hips for dear life. 
You feel… full. Not unpleasantly so. As you relax around his length, your pussy begins to flutter in the absence of attention. A mixture of your slick and his spit is wetting your thighs, a cooler contrast to the heat throbbing inside you. 
"Eddie, you can move." 
"No I fucking can't" He half laughs, though it sounds slightly strained as he's stroking your skin. 
"Eddie!" 
"OK, OK," he mumbles, pulling out slightly and pushing back in. The feeling is odd, foreign, but with each thrust it pushes the sensations into those of pleasure. You're moaning now, losing yourself in it as pressure mounts in your abdomen. 
"Fuck" Eddie's hips stutter slightly, "forgot about the ceiling mirror." 
He stops for a moment, clearly losing himself in staring at the two of you conjoined in your sinful position. From here, you couldn't see even if you tried, and the heat pooling from you, the pulsating need, is taking over. So, you push back on his cock, moving your own hips back and forth, chasing your release. 
"Holy shit, look at you, think I married a fuckin' porn star, fuck" 
His grip tightens again as he thrusts into you harder, grunting with the effort. 
Your climax is hurtling towards you violently, the force of it shaking you from the inside out. 
"Eddie, Oh I'm gonna- I'm cumming!" 
You explode, liquid fire running in your veins, pulsing out with each roll of Eddie's hips. It doesn't burn, how could it? You're barely there, floating to the heavens on a cloud of ecstasy.
"Sweetheart, gripping me too tight, w-where-" 
"Inside, please baby, cum inside me I wanna feel it!" 
Eddie releases in you with one final powerful thrust. The throb of his orgasm extends your own, wildfire licking at each nerve ending in immeasurable waves. 
Finally, you slump into the mattress, sweating and spent. Eddie flops on top of you, peeling away the hair that had stuck to your neck. 
"You alright there princess?" 
"Yeah" you breathe out, "didn't think it was gonna be that good. I think I left my body for a second there." 
He chuckles, slipping out of you and rolling onto the bed. You lie next to him, snuggled contentedly into his chest. You glance up and see your two bodies entwined, legs wrapped up in each others, fitting together like perfect puzzle pieces. 
"The mirrors a bit creepy." 
"That's a shame, I kinda want one now." 
You giggle, lightly smacking his chest. 
"Pervert." 
"Hmm, now, who was the one who was begging for a dick in the ass?" 
"Eddie!" You shriek, embarrassed. 
"Just saying. We're both perverts. Wanna take a shower, Mrs Munson?" 
"Only if you join me, Mr Munson." 
You feel the smile on his lips as he presses them against your forehead. 
"See? Pervert." 
********************
Your stomach is tied tight into a clump of a knot, stressed strands intermingling and tugging on your organs. You try to breathe, feeling the tension in your head subside slightly, but it's still there. Glancing over at Eddie in the driver's seat he gives you a small smile and a reassuring pat on your knee, rough thumb brushing encouragement. It helps. 
You're parked outside Eddie's house, having driven back after a couple of days of marital bliss, but now the real world is knocking. Eddie had to go back to the shop to check on things, and you need to talk to your parents. 
"You can do it, I know you can" Eddie whispers softly. 
"Yes, I can. Come on." 
Setting your jaw in determination, you reach out for the handle to let yourself out of the truck. 
Both of you stand on the sidewalk, his hand firmly grasped in yours. 
"Are you sure you want me to come with you?" Eddie looks worried, discomfort evident. No surprise considering what happened the last time he saw your dad. 
"Yes, definitely. They need to know we're serious. Let's go." 
He lets you lead the way across the street and outside your parents house. Both cars are in the driveway, a good indication that your mom and dad are both home. Taking one final deep breath, you knock on the door. 
The door opens a crack, and your mom's face appears. Then it's flung open wide crashing in the frame and she's crushing you in a bone crunching embrace. 
"Oh thank God you're safe I was so worried! Honey I'm so sorry, come in, come in!" 
She's dragging you inside and Eddie sheepishly follows just behind you. Her hands are cradling your face, as if she's looking for signs of pain. 
"Mom, I'm OK. I'm great. I'm happy" You reassure her with a tight smile, pulling her hands down to her sides. It's as if she just notices Eddie is there, eyes flitting between you two as you grasp his hand firmly again. For your strength, as well as his. 
"Honey, you know all I want is for you to be happy. If he's the man you want, I'll stand by-" 
Her encouraging words are cut off by the gruff tones of your father from the kitchen.
"Is that her?" He booms, and you jump slightly, trying to will the confidence that you just held back into your spine. 
He appears then, cheeks an angry red, the stern look set into his face slightly marred by the tears threatening to spill from his eyes. 
"Now Mick, we discussed-"
Your mom begins but he moves her aside to try and step towards you. His eyes quickly move to Eddie but you stand in front of him like a shield. 
"You can get out of my house right now!" 
"Dad, can we just-" 
He points a finger at you, eyes dragging away from Eddie and towards you again. 
"Now you listen here young lady-" 
"No!" 
It comes out loud, louder than you expected it to. Shock emanates from him in waves as he stares at you open mouthed. 
Softer, you continue. 
"No. You listen. You've said enough and you've not let me speak, through any of this." 
Your father attempts to regain composure. The accusing finger is laid to rest, and he nods at you. Taking it as the best sign you can, you finally have your say. 
"I'm not a kid anymore. I'm a woman. I can make my own decisions, and I've decided. I love Eddie. I love him with all my heart. He's the one for me, now and always." 
Eddie doesn't say anything; he's letting you have your moment, so he just places his hand on your shoulder and squeezes. You reach up with your own hand, your left hand, and squeeze right back. Mom's eyes widen when she notices the rings. 
"I want you to accept this, to accept us. This happened, whether you like it or not. Eddie's a good man, you know he is. I love you all. Please don't make me choose between you, because-" biting back tears, you try and stay strong, "because I'll always choose my husband." 
The silence is loaded and deafening. All you can hear is your own heart hammering in your ears. 
Your dad's voice breaks the quiet. It's low, bordering on a whisper. 
"So… this is serious then?" 
You can't help it, a laugh barks out of your chest before you can contain it, the release of emotion allowing a tear to run down your cheek. 
"You could say that." 
"Honey, I- come here." Your father opens his arms to you and you fall into them, tears tumbling freely down your face. He's crying then too, bubbling sobs that he buries into your hair. 
"I'm so sorry honey, so sorry" He blubbering, wet apologies spilling from his mouth like a dam has burst. "You're my little girl, I just w-wanted to p-protect you." 
You shush him, rubbing his back. 
"I know dad, I know." 
He finally releases you from his grip, wiping tears furiously from his face. 
Eddie steps around you, holding his hand out to your father. He takes it in his, and then grasps it with the other as well, holding it firmly as he looks him in the eyes. 
"You love my daughter?" 
"More than anything." Eddie says emphatically. Your dad nods, but doesn't let go. 
"You promise to take care of her, make her happy?" 
It feels like you're saying your vows all over again, only this time it's to become part of the family. 
"I promise Mick. I'd do anything for her." 
Your father pulls him forward suddenly, taking Eddie by surprise. He whispers something in his ear, and envelops him into a crushing embrace. 
You look over to your mom. Tears are cascading down her cheeks and she grabs onto you for dear life. 
"You're married?! I didn't get a chance to buy a hat!" Your laughs and tears intermingle at that, smiling broadly. 
After a few more hugs and tears, you excuse yourself, going upstairs to collect yourself and freshen up. Two minutes later, Eddie's barging in, clearly forgetting how to knock again. Not that you care anymore. You're in each other's arms immediately, his large hand stroking the back of your head. 
"Well, that went better than last time." 
You laugh, nodding agreement. Pulling away to look at him, you can't help but ask. 
"What did my dad whisper to you?" 
He chuckles back and fills you in. 
"Something along the lines of, 'if you break her heart I'll break both your legs.' " 
"Wow, extreme." 
"Fuckin' fair if you ask me sweetheart." 
His lips are on yours, soft plush pillowed against you. 
"I gotta go to the shop, sort some stuff out. Oh, and get a key cut." 
You tilt your head at him. "A key?" 
"For you, for your new home. Our home." 
Your tears brim with tears anew. 
"You want me to move in, what, straightaway?" 
"Hmm lemme think" He says, index finger dramatically tapping his chin. "Hell yes?" 
You don't answer. You don't have to. You just fling yourself into his arms and kiss him over, and over, and over. 
********************
Tag List (Thank you for all of your support it means so much to me)
@hereforshmut @g4ys0n @winchester-angel @eddiemunson95 @corrodedcoffincumslut @shazzie33 @severusswife @daluamaia1 @callsignraver @lightvixxen @newlips @eddiethefreakkmunson @ali-r3n @bebe07011 @roanniom @eddiesprincess86 @eddiemunsons-missingnipple @daisyridleyyyy @lolalanaie @dandelionnfluff @latedawnsearlysunsets92 @luv-flor7777 @topaz1983 @pixxie2004 @harmfulb1tch @findmeincorneliastreet @eddies-puppet @fertilitygodkiszka @freshsagegarden @josephquinnsfreckles
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seiya234 · 4 months ago
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21 grams lighter
that website, amirite? anyway can't fucking believe alex did it again.
----
“Uncle Dipper, the school said you had to sign this?”
“Me specifically?”
Hank frowned. “Well, an adult in our house.”
“You’re the first one we found,” Willow added.
Dipper picked up the paper, skimming it quickly and. Oh.
Oh my god.
“Mabel are you in here?”
As the triplets wandered off, task done, a head covered in googly eyes popped out the kitchen door. “Mmmyes?”
Dipper brandished the papers. “Do you remember MADD?”
“Moms Are Down with Drugs? Yeah. We had to do those worksheets, and go to that rally in the gym, and there was a dog in a jacket.” Mabel paused. “Also, I don’t think they actually knew what it meant when you say you’re down with something.”
“Okay, so MADD… but for selling your soul.”
The googly eyes, with impeccable comedic timing, all fell off of Mabel’s face.
“No.”
“Oh my god, there’s a pamphlet.”
By now, Mabel had joined him at the table. “’Soul Selling: Not Even Once!’ Oh. Oh Dipper, this is bad.”
He was trying to hold in peals of laughter. “I know!”
“I don’t think this is going to discourage anyone.”
“I know.”
“And look, they basically give you the directions to summon five different demons in the name of Not Doing That, this is really, really bad.”
“I̶t̷'̴s̵ ̸f̸a̷n̶t̸a̴s̶t̷i̸c̵!̴”
Mabel looked at him, just looked at him for a minute, sadness welling deep in her eyes.
“No. No it’s really not.”
------
Trillions.
A number that is truly incomprehensible, much less in the context of time.
There were souls that rotted in that stomach longer than the oldest rocks of Earth.
--------
[from the M.A.D.D. Brochure, 2285]
“So remember kids, selling your soul doesn’t just effect you. It effects every version of you! It is an indelible mark that will linger for eternity, never changing, never going away. Paths, choices, loved ones, all will wither in the face of the horrible decision that you made! Eternity is forever, don’t make it your fault!”
[penciled in the margins, a note: “so we aren’t going to talk about social inequality or systemic racism then are we?”]
------------
(the most eternal, sacred part of a being)
Dipper had been a demon for all of a month, if that, when he was offered his first soul. For a while, he… didn’t really do anything with them.
When he did, it was of course super traumatic for everyone involved but eh, that kind of went with the territory of everything that was happening in his life lately.
Point being, he never was sure why Bill kept everyone trapped inside of him, constantly screaming, constantly playing beach tunes to drown them out. No, better to eat them, get the power, set them free.
Like, obviously, not great to be eating souls in the first place, and yeah, yeah, he could tell, even ten thousand (ten million) (ten billion) years later who he had crunch munched through, but like, they were able to be out there living their lives! Doing stuff. Cycling back through.
Honestly. What had Bill been planning to do with them?
--------
For the first week after it happened, animals ran away from Mabel.
Not just cats and dogs but all animals. Flocks of birds would fly off at her approach, deer would get near the Shack and then run off, and Gompers disappeared into the woods.
After the bear ran screaming from her, Mabel put two and two together, and called Dipper.
“Is this forever?”
Dipper frowned. “What do you mean?”
Mabel waved at her body. “This.”
(it wasn’t fair, it wasn’t fair she was only 16/18/22/17, she didn’t mean for this to happen, she only wanted to live, he only wanted her to live, this wasn’t f a i r )
“Oh. Uh. Um.”
“Dipper. Just. Tell. Me.”
“Hold on.” He reached into his stomach, and pulled out something…. Ineffable.
It felt like every single cell in Mabel’s body was reaching towards it, she found herself walking towards Dipper’s open hand.
The demon looked at her.
“You can have it back.”
She was crying. When did she start crying? And more worryingly, why did it feel like this was the first real, true thing she had felt in a week?
He pushed the Ineffable thing into her chest, and Mabel sank to the ground, sobbing. She felt whole again.
She didn’t realize that she hadn’t been whole, not truly, not until now.
Alcor smirked. “Consider it… out on lease. I’ll take it back eventually.”
She should have challenged him on that. Should have asked him about that. Should have done a million trillion other things.
But Mabel was human. And scared. And so, so very young.
---------
(you were birds)
A young man with fluffy brown hair, mixing his blood with his sister and his new brother-in-law, making a promise.
(you were trees with roots entangled)
They made a family together, it was a beautiful family, they let him stay, stay when anyone else would have told him to leave.
(wherever we go next, whatever you choose, I will always be right there with you)
They fit, like spoons in a drawer, like yin and yang, salt and pepper, ketchup and mustard, literally a million different pairings you could compare the two of them to. They weren’t perfect but love doesn’t need to be, and shouldn’t be perfect.
(that’s done buddy)
One grave
(congratulations)
Another grave, but eighty years later.
(you chose Alcor instead)
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abbyromanoff · 1 year ago
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Can I request Natasha Romanoff X reader. "The last of us " AU . Angst and maybe some smut if you feel like it ?
THE LAST OF ME AND YOU
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PAIRINGS: Natasha Romanoff x reader, Wanda Maximoff x reader
WORD COUNT: 1,959
WARNINGS: smut, strap on use, reader is a mom, depression, angst, break ups, death, tlou au (I’ve never played the game so bare with me), killing, praise, arguments, abandonment, think that’s all :)
NO ONE IS PERMITTED TO STEAL, COPY, OR REBLOG MY WORK AS THEIR OWN!!
Nat continued her harsh thrusts into your tight hole as her hot breath landed on your face. The strap she wore abused your cunt in the most delicious way possible and had you chasing for more.
Your head was thrown back, allowing your girlfriend to mark your neck. Your hand went to the back of her neck, pulling her further in while scratching her scalp.
“You gonna cum for me, baby?” You nodded, struggling to speak as all that left you were broken sobs and choked-out moans. Your legs wrapped around her waist and your free hand went to her back, creating red lines with your nails.
“Please- I’m gonna-” Your legs were shaking as her pace slightly faltered, the pain causing her to hiss out mumbled word. She permitted you to let go, your cunt clenching around her as your juices covered her cock.
“Just like that- oh, you’re doing so good, such a good girl.” Her praises made a small smile plaster across your face and a breathless ‘thank you’ escaping your lips.
She soon pulled out of you slowly, trying to withhold any pain that could be a result. You whimpered out a few disagreements but let her continue.
“It’s alright, you’re okay.” She tossed the toy to the side and wrapped her arms around your figure, inhaling your scent that brought her comfort.
“What are you thinking about, sweetheart?” She hummed, afraid to give you a response and see your reaction. You noticed this and pulled her head away from you, giving her a soft squeeze to her hand and a kiss to her forehead, trying to ease her into talking.
“I’ve been thinking about some things,” You gave her a slow nod to show you were ready for her to speak once more. She sighed, gulping down her fears with a shake of her head.
“No, it’s stupid.” She tried to stand, only to be pulled back down by your grasp.
“Hey, talk to me. What’s going on?” You patted the spot next to you and let her take a seat, cuddling into her waist as you stared up at her.
“She deserves to be avenged.” Her sister, one of the only people she had left, was killed only last year. It was devastating, she was barely able to recover. You and your child were the only things that helped, and even then it would never solve the pain she felt.
“Nat, we talked about this.” She had mentioned it before and was quickly shut down by you. You knew it wasn’t exactly fair, but you deserved to be selfish just this once. You couldn’t lose her, neither you nor Gabriel, your son, would be able to handle that. He had the right to grow up with both parents in his life, not just one.
Natasha wasn’t his biological mother, his father died shortly after you found out about your pregnancy. But she stepped up, and she earned that spot as his mother and caregiver. She loved him like he was her own because, in her eyes, he was.
“But I need to do this, Y/N, why can’t you understand that?” You sat up, throwing the blankets over your bare body and grabbing the clothes that you were previously wearing. She followed you as you voyaged into your son’s room, standing in front of his crib and gently picking him up.
“Hi, handsome, did you enjoy your little nap?” You spoke to the young child in hand, chuckling as his small hands tried to grasp onto you.
“Don’t ignore me, Y/N.” You blinked away tears and sat on the near chair to pull down your shirt, letting your son suckle on your breasts. He was still so young at only twelve months, if she disappeared, he wouldn’t even remember her.
“I’m not discussing this anymore with you.” She walked out of the door, leaving you and Gabriel alone in the lowly lit room.
“Don’t worry, Gabe, momma isn’t going anywhere.” He didn’t seem to understand and you wished it would stay this way forever. You didn’t want him to age, he was so perfect like this. But you wouldn’t know how to handle him on your own in the dangers of this world. Neither of you were safe, but Nat made a promise to always protect the both of you or die trying. And she always had, you were beyond grateful for all she had done.
The next morning came quicker than expected and you ventured into the kitchen to make breakfast for the three of you. You went outside to grab one of the tomatoes from your garden and returned to your spot, cutting the fruit into circles and placing it on top of the eggs for more flavor.
The plates were placed on the table as you went into your son’s room to find him awake and smiling as usual, he was always a happy boy.
“C’mon, it’s time to eat, kiddo.” When you walked into the kitchen you found Nat standing there with bags next to her legs. You shuddered, stalling for a moment before placing the young child into his high chair. You took the spot next to him and let him drink from the bottle Nat was able to make.
“I assume you’re leaving.” Her lack of response was all you needed. You turned to face her, the tears hidden in your eyes nearly escaping against your will. She held onto the handles of the bags that held her weapons and a small amount of her nutrition. She tried stepping towards you, only to be stopped in her tracks when you backed away.
“I promise I’ll be back for you two, I’m not giving up on us.” She reached for your cheek and you let her, interlacing your hand with her own as she kissed the back of it.
“I love you so much, angel.” She then turned to your son who seemed to be clueless to the whole ordeal. “And I love you so much, my baby boy.” When she tried meeting your eyes you looked away, wiping your nose that had become sniffly. She picked up her bags once again and slowly turned to the door, every creak from the floorboards making her miss you even more.
“If you walk out those doors, that will be the last time you see your family.” You two were the only real family she had left, everybody else had passed on and left her alone. She considered joining them at one point in her life, but she couldn’t do that to you both. Yet, she was still able to leave you both.
“Yelena didn’t deserve this, and I’m going to bring her the goodbye she deserved.” She wasn’t able to look at you, it would only break her more.
“Killing them won’t bring her back to life, she’s gone and you can’t do anything about it. I’m sorry to say it but it’s true, there is no bringing her back.”
“I know that, but they shouldn’t be able to roam the Earth when she no longer can because of them.” You knew there was no convincing her to stay, there never was. But you were hoping she’d realize the cost even if she didn’t seem to care about anything other than the blonde.
“Goodbye, my loves.” She knew deep down that it would most likely be the last words she ever spoke to you, you were always one to keep a promise. And you did, later that week you packed up everything you had and left with little to no destination in mind. All you knew were that a group of travelers came by often, you had even made small conversation with one of them. Most gangs were ones to fear, but not them. The woman welcomed you with open arms, even greeting the baby that was secured in your hold.
“My name’s Wanda, Wanda Maximoff.” The rest of her group was almost as kind as her, and you couldn’t help but thank all gods that she came into your life. If she didn’t, you wouldn’t be alive and neither would your son.
You told her about Nat, how she left you like it was nothing. Seeing you look and sound so hopeless caused her to sob later that night while she slept beside you. There were no terms shared between either of you, but she was so unbelievably in love with you after only a few months of knowing you. You didn’t know where you stood, you still held a deep love for your past lover, but you knew you’d never see her again.
You noticed how Wanda cared for Gabriel and protected him with every bit of her. You later found out that she used to be a mom herself until the breakout traveled across the entire globe and left her as the only member of her family left. You also found out that she used to have a husband, Vision was his name. You held her close to you as she spoke, and that’s when it happened. She kissed you, and neither of you could stop the magical feeling from repeating itself. You weren’t over Natasha, and Wanda understood that. She gave you all the time you needed before you were ready. Gabriel spoke his first words while laying on top of your chest with Wanda having an arm behind your head.
When he eventually became more fluent the more you two taught him, he uttered a parental nickname to the brunette. She hadn’t felt this happy since the times she spent with her family. It caused a small ache in your heart when knowing that Nat had been teaching him how to speak as she waited for the day he’d call her his mother alongside you. But it wasn’t your fault, she was gone now and she was the one who made the decision to do so.
When the redhead returned to your home she found the place to be empty with only dust and spider webs in sight. It had taken two years but she achieved her goal, and she knew Yelena was looking down on her, but she didn’t know if it was out of shame or happiness.
You were right, no wound caused to the men who had taken her life helped soothe the pain of losing her sister and now her family. Gabriel was most likely more grown by now, and she wanted to imagine how you two were doing but it only brought a sob from deep in her chest. She fell to her knees, punching the floor as hard as she could and causing a hole to appear. That’s when she noticed something falling from the counter and landing next to her.
It was a Polaroid of you and Nat before the curse broke out. At the time you two were just friends while your boyfriend and the father of your child was still alive. There were words written on the back ‘forever my love’, she had secretly added them there when you didn’t know. At the time, she had held a longing for you that she hoped would be filled, and it eventually was but it only lasted a year. It wasn’t enough time for you to know how much she loved you and how long she had loved you.
But you were gone, yet her love for you never would be. She wanted to find you, to tell you how sorry she was, but she knew deep down you were probably better off without her. All she wanted was to avenge her sister, but now she was left completely alone with no one to mend her broken heart.
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crow-ur-beloved · 4 months ago
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various jrwi headcanons because the worms in my brain (potential autism) wont shut up. no real plot spoilers except for one, but its marked :]
the suckening:
shilo is like vampire immunocompromised, which added to the pile of reasons his mom used to keep him inside the castle because she didnt want him to immediately get 37 different diseases and Die. (if vampires can have allergies then id like to think they can also get sick. i dont actually know if thats possible in the vtm system but i dont care they can in my heart)
genderfuck/genderpunk afab emizel. i feel like thats the only label he'd use, if he had to have one. i dont think hed label his sexuality because he wants to be an enigma. but he Definitely likes men.
bizley said in the qna something that can Only let me think of shilo as aromantic. maybe aro And ace... i dont remember what he said exactly aughhgh i wish i did...
shilo fidgets with his hands like all the time. his mother and uncle tried to get him to stop and sit still because it wasnt very princely and whatnot but my boy needs a fidget toy. i think hed go craaaazy with an infinity cube
i feel like me saying arthur bennett is a bisexual doesnt even count as a headcanon like i think thats just a given. i feel like itd be more surprising if i said i thought he was straight. all beautiful beautiful vampire men have to be lgbtq. its the law actually
arthur never officially broke up with mary. mans just Left one day without warning. probably left a note that said "sorry. -arthur" on it. i doubt he had it in him to say goodbye to her face or his reasoning for it (he thought hed inevitably hurt her because of what he is and what he did to the people he loved in the past, because bad luck seems to follow him everywhere... oughh he makes me ill). he definitely used finding a new lead on anya somewhere else in the country as a good reason to dip. at least, as good a reason as it couldve been for him.
maybe controversial but i 100% think arthur and magnus had a one-night stand at the beginning of their relationship, before magnus met jerome, and they never talked about it again and pretend it never happened. cannot explain how real this is to me.
riptide:
ftm chip who 100% innately knew he was a dude since the moment he could think. like when the black rose pirates picked him up, he got confused when they started referring to him as a girl at first. probably never got The Talk from them, so was Very confused when he hit puberty. Reuben reluctantly helped him steal to pay for top surgery.
since tritons live at the bottom of the ocean, they would have eyes that are far more sensitive to light to allow them to see better since little light gets all the way down there. gillion was Immediately blinded by the sun when he surfaced and still gets headaches from how bright it is in the oversea, but they've gotten better the longer he's been up there. tritons are built to adapt to all kinds of conditions, so his eyes have slowly been getting a darker bluish-purple the longer he spends above the ocean; they were originally more of a light blue-grey.
in tandem with the last one, chip thinks hes either going crazy or a bad friend because he Swears gill's eyecolor is different than last week but how could that be possible, thats not just something he can do, right? why would he be able to do that???
if gillion gets knocked onto his back without warning he does that thing that sharks do where they get paralyzed for a bit when they get flipped upside down. its scary because he can see everything but cant do anything. he also definitely forgot to tell chip and jay about this fact and scared the Shit out of them the first time it happened around them.
gillion can also change his sex like some fish can. its the reason he can lay eggs. i think this makes it safe to say genderfluid/nonbinary/generally trans gillion tidestrider is highly possible and even probable in this headcanon. what im saying is t4t fish n chips.
not to headcanon all my favs as trans but i cant help it. it is the highest honor i can bestow upon them. anyways. mtf jay ferin. ava always knew and was the first person jay came out to. jay was also 100% named jayson after her father and went by jay most of her life anyway as a nickname and just decided to stick with it instead of picking anything else. may was always very openly-supportive of her. jayson was as supportive as a generally strict, overbearing, unsupportive-in-everything father can be. jay totally came out to him and the first thing he said to her was something like, "as long as it doesnt interfere with your navy training," and may promptly kicked him under the table and made him say something nice.
kiras trans too btw. she came out before jay and helped jay discover she was trans. and that she liked women.
(spoilers for 109 and beyond) chip can't entirely remember what he looks like. everytime he focuses on the illusion of hiding that hes practically just a skeleton now, it changes just a bit. freckles in the wrong places, the wrong shade of orange for his flame tattoos, too much light in his eyes, too much muscle on his arms. jay notices it but cant bring herself to say anything. she knows the illusion is meant to keep everyone from worrying, but, everytime she sees something off about it, she just remembers what he really looks like underneath, and that somehow feels worse.
blood in the bayou:
all these bitches gay as hell. kian is pan. rands got a lot of internalized homophobia. rolan probably too. its the 80s, man.
apotheosis (haven't finished it yet so idk how true these'll be lol):
agender rumi. godbless.
also rumis a theater kid. he got the lead in every musical he auditioned for because he could literally just shapeshift. theyd make up a new identity and appearance for every role and get to know everyone on the cast and then mysteriously drop off the face of the planet as that person when the production was over and nobody would know it was them.
peter has actually tried All Kinds of things. weed. yoga. multilevel marketing schemes. you name it, big chance hes done it at least once and didnt like it. he doesnt know how he ends up in the situations to try it, either.
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