#I feel like my mind has been freed from a cage holy fucking shit

[brandondoesstuff]

Yoo, take your meds for real.

[velvetporcelain]

fuck. no need to problem solve, I am just venting-

Jesus fuck is my catch phrase. it used to be just the word "motherfucker," but that died with the old me-- so I created Jesus fuck. which I don't know is any better-- but its just what warns everyone so clearly, so intently, immediatly.

I am struggling a little today, but not really, maybe I am now with my anger but here I am releasing it into the darkness, my darkness. this is why it says don't read, this is the fucking cringe, unfiltered mind. --- however I am getting good at becoming smart about my word choices when I choose to release these truths into reality. an etiquette of some kind. the stupid fuck at the gym confirms my hypothesis about men. when you are pretty, they do not care about your brain, they only want sex. how disappointing, but not really because I was fucking right. disgusted. I want to slap him across the face, so-- im keeping his earrings cuz I want him to know that they are in my ears, way closer to my brain that he will ever get, and I will no longer engage, or feel pity for this man, I won't even acknowledge him. I know this will hurt, but good, GET THE FUCK OUT OF MY WAY YOU DICK FUCK. god damned him, the minute he dropped a holy angel on the floor when she wouldn't fuck him. tisk tisk. now I am going to be the biggest cunt. so sick of being the nice bitch. it just gets me impatient and out of control and I do not like when I feel like that-- or do it? is this fem rage? how do I use it a weapon? my only fucking weapon-- how do I use it to protect myself and punish others?

I lost count of how many days it's been since a cigarette touched my lips and all the sudden I'm seducing myself. ---- kinda turned on from the thought of me smoking one. I want one and the sadistic part of me is saying, there are other things killing you in this world that you can't control so you might as well just do what you love. and it makes sense to me, but its also weak. yes the world is full of uncontrollable horrors, but that doesn't mean I have to turn into one consciously-- kill me silently if you have to---- I would be devastated if I died at my own hands.

I am tired of little miss sunshine. sunshine- has my nickname my whole life--- my brother's kids call me honey----- what does that say about me? it says that my fem rage is THE SOURCE of my creativity- I fucking love being angry. I am very two fold. not back stabbing, because I will tell you to your face-- and if I can't tell it to your face I will say that--- i.e. ----" would you call me selfish?" ----- me: "no, not to your face" ------ it is my muse, so I am my own bitch, no one else's. i didn't understand half of the shit he was saying to me at the time was an insult. yes the dreaded HIM--- the only who has ever truly shattered me,--- most of all my psyche. but do you know what happened when he shattered me? I WAS ALMOST SET FREE. he showed me the way out of his cage-- I was a bird and I could fly all along------, and I freed myself, and now I am afraid that I am the cage, looking for a bird.

-x

[wickedyan]

It says your requests are open. Could I please request a yandere Light Yagami x shy virgin female reader? NSFW, non-con. I love the older more evil Light/Kira. Like how he is after the time skip. I’d like him possessive, demanding, controlling. like the reader is a weak shy and innocent little thing that he wants to control and make his. She is pro-Kira too so that is how he found her similar to Mikami maybe she was seen sticking up for Kira on tv or something? Is that okay? ,xD

Devoted

Character: Light Yagami, Deathnote

Warnings: Yandere, nsfw, asphyxiation, dubcon, pain/burns, slight breeding kink, blowjobs, cum eating,,,,, u h this shit is nasty.

A/N: I couldn't make this noncon, because honestly, I can’t see Light needing to force himself on anyone. I mean, his whole thing is that he’s hot, smart, athletic, successful and a master manipulator etc etc. So even if the person was uncertain, he would be able to coerce them with ease.

But thank u so much for letting me write this nasty fic. I hope you don't mind the kinks I added fjgkrfk

-

You were a supporter of Kira. A fan, a follower, a lover. When you had first heard of Kira, however, you had been conflicted.

On one hand, Kira’s morals were strong, only killing those who had wronged the world. But you knew that in the eyes of the law, Kira was evil.

But when Kira did it, when he finally freed you from your abusive ex-partner, had judged him as unworthy of the new world and saved you from a life of torment and misery, you knew you would do anything to show your saviour your love and support. He had saved you. He cared about you, cared for those who had done no wrong. He was your protector, and only he could bring you salvation. So, it was decided. You had to do something, anything, to get God’s attention and thank him.

You had been an author, and with your new life, you knew what you had to do.

Utilizing your writing experience, you crafted a bible, one that you and other Kira supporters could follow and read to show your support and love for your God. For Kira, your saviour.

He must have seen you on the television, using your platform as a popular author to persuade the public. In an interview promoting the book, you received word from Kiyomi Takada, Kira’s spokesperson, that the Holy Book you had created was approved by God himself. He had praised you. God had noticed you and had authorised usage of the thing you had created for him.

You couldn’t be happier.

But in fact, you could.

His name… Light Yagami. This man, he had asked to meet you, to speak to him and the Japanese Police about Kira for their investigation. It was surprising, you knew you should decline, but there was something so interesting about this Light… you found yourself alone in a hotel room with him.

“Miss y/n… thank you for meeting me on such short notice, you must be so busy with the success of your recent book, I appreciate your presence.” You nodded in reply, ensuring him it was quite alright. He had yet to look you in the eye ever since the two of you sat down, in opposing seats.

“But I must ask, why does the Japanese Police wish to speak with me? I am a supporter of Kira, but I can’t say that I’ve ever had contact with him, nor do I know anything about him…”

Light paused, like he was tossing an idea around in his head before he replied. “If it’s appropriate, I’d like to know the reason why you are so devoted… to Kira.”

You answered him, explaining how Kira was the reason you were even still alive. Light apologised, seeming slightly uncomfortable for bringing up a sore subject. But he made no attempt to convince you that it was merely coincidence, or to tarnish your image of Kira.

“He saved me, Mr. Yagami… and I wrote this bible to show Kira that I am someone he can rely on, that I will support him even if the Japanese police won’t. I hope… that I can someday thank him for his work to create the new world… I want to show him my appreciation.”

A smirk pulled at the corner of his mouth, eyes sultry and you could feel the heat blooming to your face. “Well then, Miss y/n, it seems your lucky day has arrived. The truth is… I am Kira, and you, my dear follower, are someone special.”

Your eyes widened, and you could feel your hands shaking as you brought your gaze up. He stood, loosening his tie and unbuttoning his suit jacket.

“The Kira investigation is stuck at a standstill at this point in time… So, the police must follow any lead, no matter how small. But that is only a front, the real reason I am here is to commend you for your outstanding work… you truly understand what Kira’s idea of justice is, and have created guidelines that clearly outline how one much express their devotion. I am thoroughly impressed.”

Elation. Euphoria. How else could you describe your emotions other than pure and utter euphoria? But there was a small seed of doubt… You stood as well, backing up as he moved to the bedside.

“Before you ask me to prove myself as Kira, I’ll show you and squash any doubts.”

Light switched on the television, turning up the volume and watching you as you slowly turned to check the tv. You watched as Light checked his watch, a smirk pulling at the corner of his lips as he clicked his fingers, “Now.”

Two… no three of the supposed Kira spokespeople shouted, eyes bugged and faces red, clutching at their chests before collapsing.

“Now, does that diminish your doubts, hm?”

You turned back to face him; a grin plastered on your face as you stared. “God… I-… I don’t know what to say…”

Light strode towards, pushing you back into your seat and caged you in with his arms. “Then don’t speak.”

His lips pressed to yours, harsh and demanding. He moved his lips against your own, groaning at the feeling. He tilted his head, deepening the kiss as one of his hands crept up your neck and slid into your hair.

“You deserve a reward for being such a good girl…”

Kira was kissing you. God was kissing you and fuck was he a good kisser. You almost felt jealously bubble to the surface before you popped those thoughts… But you couldn’t just keep sitting there frozen when you were hot, everything was so hot and Light- no, Kira was hot and fuck….

Slowly, with shaking hands, you cupped his face and began to kiss back. He tasted of mint and a hint of coffee, his lips wet against yours and you could barely concentrate, he was addicting. He growled into your mouth, tongue sliding into your mouth and invading all of your senses.

You couldn’t help but whine when he pulled at your hair, keeping your head in place as he pulled away. A string of saliva connected your mouths and he made a lewd show of sucking it into his mouth. He looked like a feral wolf. His hair was ragged and unkempt, falling low over his eyes. His eyes… glowing red with carnal desire.

Wet kisses down your neck until he found that sweet little spot that had you clutching onto his shoulders and biting your lip to hold in your moans. You squirmed as his teeth sunk into your flesh without remorse, no doubt leaving purple splotches in places you just knew wouldn’t be easy to cover. It sent heat straight to your pussy, knowing that God himself was claiming you.

“Uh uh, you’re gonna moan for me, baby. No holding in those gorgeous noises, hm?”

You shook your head, cheeks flushed and panting.

“No? Aw, baby… that’s just not what I wanted to hear.” He mumbled into your throat, before biting down with enough force that blood pooled at the teeth-shaped dents in your skin.

You screamed, tears pooling in your eyes and nails digging into the man’s broad shoulders.

“That’s better, wasn’t so hard now was it?”

You couldn’t answer, not when his hands were ripping your blouse open and you were watching the buttons bounce away. You couldn’t help but squeal and cover your chest.

“Now answer me.”

His hands ghosted down your frame and moving to tug at your skirt. You lifted your hips and he pulled your panties off with your skirt. He pocketed the panties before beginning to unbuckle his belt. But before he could finish undoing his pants, you were pushing him back, falling to your knees before him.

“Thank you… I don’t know what I- ah! …did. Please… oh please…to deserve this...” You spoke between broken moans. He snickered.

“Oh?” He looked over you with curious eyes.

Making quick work of his zipper, you pulled down his boxers and freed his half-hard cock from its confines. “Oh fuck…”

It was long with little girth, matching his lanky frame. But you knew that you would struggle enough with how fucking long it was, it was probably a blessing it wasn’t that thick. Hands tangled in your hair while you began to kiss down the length of it, feeling it twitch in your soft hands. Precum dribbled out the slit, salty on your tongue. He gripped your hair harder, silently hurrying you.

You took the head into your hot mouth, tongue circling it and tucking your teeth away. He growled at you to stop teasing him as he used his grip on your hair to choke you on his cock. You sucked hard and hollowed your cheeks, pushing your face into his pelvis, nose tickling the hair at the base. You continued even when your eyes filled with tears, skin burning scarlet and lungs screaming for air. You would die sucking your Gods dick if it was his wish. Anything for the God of the new world.

He pulled you off his cock, groaning as his dick weighed down on your tongue, heaving hot puffs of air onto it as you caught your breath. Light’s hips bucked into your face and he held you in place. He loved the way you looked, fighting your basic human instincts to survive just to please you. You were devoted, he would give you that.

“Oh fuck… look at you. Willing to suffocate on my cock… what a fucking slut.”

Erratically fucking your throat, no rhyme or rhythm. Chasing his high. Gagging on his cock only spurred him on more. Drool covered your chin, your juices leaking onto the floor from your sopping pussy. Doe eyes locked on his feral grin.

He fucked your mouth, pushing deeper and deeper into you as endless praise left his lips. “Yes… take this cock, y/n… fuuuck…...” he was losing composure quickly.

A hand slipped down past your hips but was kicked away promptly. “Nuh-uh, you’re gonna cum on this cock.”

“…But first, take my seed.”

His hips stuttered as thick strings of cum hit the back of your throat, swallowing around him until it hurt, wailing around his length.

“Fucking swallow your God’s cum.”

When he pulled out, he admired the white fluid staining your tongue. And then you swallowed, savouring the salty taste.

Strong hands pushed your shoulders, back thumping against the carpet and his hands were between your legs once more. Two long fingers thrust inside, knuckle by knuckle until they curled upwards and began stroking the soft spongey flesh of that spot. The palm of his hand rubbed against your clit. You moaned, loud and long and it had him thrusting his fingers in and out faster.

So close. Just a bit more. “Please….. please oh please Kira- hnngnhhh please…”

Just before you could reach euphoria, he removed his fingers, scooping up your juices to spread across his cock that had sprung back to life.

He rubbed the tip across your slit, dipping in the hole and giving you a taste of what could be, but then he was pulling away and grinding gently again. It circled your clit, never quite touching it. He thrust so that it caught on your fluttering entrance and slid upwards, pulled back and repeated the action. He did this until his cock throbbed against your cunt and you were racking sobs through your shaking chest, begging oh please, can you fuck your aching cunt oh please sir-

You screamed, your arms flailed wildly, desperately grappling for something to hold onto as he split you open on his dick, his guttural groan resounding throughout the empty room. Leaving no time for you to adjust as he pulled out part-way, slowly and teasing before bucking back into you with a force that had your tits bouncing and your skin burning against the carpet.

Lights hands slide down your legs, holding onto your ankles and hauling them up over his shoulders and bending you in fucking half, reaching so much deeper inside your drenched cunt. Your hands held onto his shoulders for dear life as he fucked a symphony in your pussy that you’re sure even Beethoven would be proud of.

You’re so close, the pleasure in your core building as your whole body heats up. You’re so close… Light smacks away your hand as you reach for your clit, using his own fingers to tease it until that pleasure reaches its crescendo. Your walls squeeze his cock in a vice grip as you release over his cock. Distantly, you hear someone screaming, and you realise it’s you.

He’s laughing, driving his cock into you at an erratic pace as he chases his own high.

When he finishes, its while his hand is on your throat and his length buried deep into your still-spasming cunt.

 You hear a door close. You sit up. A blanket was placed over you and you were alone. The sweat and cum had been cleaned up by a damp washcloth, presumably by Light… no… Kira.

Kira.

A note had been left on the bed, you winced as you stood to go over and read it. You had a bad case of carpet burn.

‘I will be in touch very soon, my dearest follower.’

You would await his call. Anything for your God.

[phynali]

Season 6 supernatural re-write

keeping the seasonal plot points the same but tweaking the specifics so it flows more cohesively and sets up the next few seasons better.

we start with bobby phoning dean. it’s been 7 months since sam fell into the cage, dean’s looked for/at every possible way to get him out. he’s mourning still, but the days are getting easier.

then the call. a demon, or a shifter, or something. dean meets up with him. bobby has a photo - it’s definitely, unmistakably sam.

(because wtf there’s no universe bobby wouldn’t tell dean that sam was back from the dead if he knew, so - )

they track sam down. silver, holy water, everything. sam just laughs and goes for a hug, effectuating his best I Have a Soul impression for dean’s sudden appearance. he’s been out of the cage for months, running with this other crew now. 

(not sam campbell because him coming back from the dead was dumb. another hunter group, maybe one that sprung up around or as a result of the apocalypse. remind us of the previous season’s plot and the fact that sam was hunted by other hunters. remind us how dissonant and disjointed it is that he’s working with them now). 

no, he doesn’t think it’s odd that he didn’t go and get dean. dean was happy, sam was happy to leave him to it.

dean and bobby are O.O 

it is Immediately obvious that Something is Wrong. any pretense otherwise is dispelled very quickly and sam gives up the game, shrugs. tells it like it is. he didn’t go get dean back because dean might hold him back, because dean cares so much about coddling him and sam’s fine, he’s great, awesome, actually. he’s strong and solid and doesn’t feel burdened. he’s light. he doesn’t sleep.

he doesn’t sleep?

okay, so something might be off, but he’s not looking a gift horse in the mouth. dean can be his partner again though, sam likes having him around. it’s nice, they work well together. it’s good.

(is it the blood, sam? what? no, no, haha, i tried that. didn’t even take. it doesn’t work for me anymore. how weird is that? you did what? yeah, i wasn’t craving it, but i thought it might help me get stronger. it didn’t do anything. weird, right?)

(sam doesn’t need sleep but dean hardly can sleep after hearing that)

bobby is researching like mad to figure out what’s wrong with sam and sam is like...yeah fine whatever i think i’m supposed to care about you so i guess this is fine.

sam and lisa do Not get along. sam’s smile is razor sharp and she feels uncomfortable to have him in her house. we get the distinct impression sam let dean get vamped to spite her, and possibly egged dean on to her house. it doesn’t take a truth spell for dean to call in the big guns after that.

cass finally answers the phone prayer. he hadn’t considered the amount of danger dean might be in around Soulless till now. cass soul-fists sam and tells hm he has no soul. oops. 

and he doesn’t remember anything about hell? about how he got out of the cage? nothing at all?

sam smiles placidly. nothing, cass. i have no clue how i got out. 

(he knows. cass knows he knows).

sam agrees to get his soul back because why not. then he finds out how unpleasant that will be. he blackmails cass into helping him stop it from happening. (angels can’t get that far into hell without an army or an ally, cass. what did it cost for crowley to let you into hell? you his bitch now, cass? is that it?). 

cass and Souless as feral energy and restrained violence with each other. (”i dragged you out of that cage and i will throw you back in.” and “you dragged me out wrong and if you didn’t fuck this up the first time this wouldn’t be an issue now would it?”)

dean figuring out death can get sam’s soul. sam like ‘oh shit’ and trying to stop that, not by attempting to kill bobby (because this is my re-write and i hated that). except cass double-crosses sam and gags Soulless so he can’t spill the beans on him before the soul gets shoved in his body and the wall goes up.

in this version, cass puts up the wall (not Death). it’s not even clear if it’s necessary because the audience Does Not Trust cass at this point in the season after all the lies and talks with Soulless. Death gives us important exposition about the scarring on Sam’s soul and how deep it goes, how his soul is in literal tatters. it can repair itself, but it’s going to take a long damn time. this is gonna be relevant for the next three seasons.

note: his soul being in tatters is unrelated to the psychological trauma that the wall is keeping at bay inside his mind.

sam gets his soul. the wall goes up. sam remembers nothing. 

cass like :))) this is fine :)))

cass’s lies are spiralling. season plot happens, meg, demons, etc. mr. not-sam-campbell betrays them, crowley is an asshole, raphael, etc.

(can you imagine if Mr. not-sam-campbell was actually bela talbot? she was one of crowley’s contracts and maybe he resurrected her because he knows she’s the best and so she can keep an eye on cage-freed sam because crowley might’ve given cass permission to go down the cage but he’s not stupid enough not to keep his eye on this situation. gaaaah i miss bela so much, and the parallel of sam/bela and dean/lisa and dean’s memories of ruby but bela is Not a demon and she is terrified of Soulless because he’s a sociopath through and through, anyway don’t mind me).

when it all comes apart, when sam’s memories are slipping through and he starts to remember conversations with cass from when he was soulless, puts pieces together - 

cass breaks his wall. floods him with it. the “i dragged you out of the cage and i can put you back in” we had set up with him and sam earlier in the season is now actually coming full-circle in a metanarrative sense, and paying off cass first saying that to dean in s4 because sam’s pain is dean’s hell. chef’s kiss.

end of the season plays out the same. like i said, so few plot changes, just more cohesion and in-character.

next we’ll do seasons 7, 8, then 9 and how they will flow from this build-up better.

[creativitymouth]

The World Forgetting By The World Forgotten - Alternate Ending

A/N - Double Upload because I am a badass. And because I love you all so much that my belly hurts. I’m sad this is the last chapter of TWFBTWF and I hope you’ll all stick around for some more stories that I have planned. 

Summary - Ribs in the cage of a wild heart. We’ll be the stars. AgedUp!SlowBurn!Richie!TozierxFem!Reader

Trigger Warning - Depression Themes, Swearing, Ending Feels. 

Alternate Ending

“Leave,” Bill said his voice defeated, “I’m the one who dragged you all into this.” His gaze landed on Stan as he remembered what he said to him earlier, “I’m s-s-s, I’m s-s-sorry. S-s-s-sorry.”  No one moved as your eyes stayed on Bill, your fearless leader. Ready to make the ultimate sacrifice. Richie had always told you that you had a suicidal hero complex, today you were going to prove him right. “Go!”

“Guys we can’t.” Beverly whispered desperately. Pennywise’s jaw opened and you saw your opportunity. You loved your family, they had welcomed you into their ragtag group when you were just in 2nd grade. They loved you just as much and you knew that you couldn’t live without any of them. They were all stronger than you, they could take losing someone better than you could. They would heal, you would never get over it. Feeling responsible for the death of your friend. But before you could move to save Bill and lose your own life Richie opened his big mouth.

“Sorry, Bill.” Pennywise closed his jaw his eyes turning to look at Richie with amusement. “I told you, Bill. I fucking told you.” Richie moved from behind you, making his way to the front of the group pacing back and forth as he looked at Billy. You wanted to reach out and grab him by the arm into safety but you could see the wheels turning in his brain.

“Rich.” You whispered but he didn’t even spare you a glance.

“I don’t want to die. It’s your fault.” Your heart beat wildly in your chest, no way was Richie really going to leave Bill down here to become clown food. “You punched me in the face, you made me walk through shitty water, your brought me to a fucking crackhead-house. And now,” Richie stopped walking and it was then you noticed the bat behind his back. “I’m going to have to kill this fucking clown.” He raised the bat up a look of determination in his eyes. “Welcome to the loser’s club, asshole!” The bat came down roughly on Pennywise’s head and Bill scrambled away. You could have stared in awe of Richie all day but after a few stunned seconds Pennywise was advancing again.

“Mike!” You screamed when Pennywise turned to him, but Mike hit him in the head with a plank of wood. That seemed to be the Losers go to emergency weapon. Pennywise growled and turned to Stan as he shaped into the woman Stan had been afraid of earlier, but Stan’s face distorted in anger and he screamed at Pennywise before taking his own hit. Pennywise seemed to be lost with what to do when he turned to Eddie and barfed all over him.

“I’m gonna kill you!” Eddie screamed as he slapped Pennywise across the face with his casted arm. You blinked multiple times as pride surged through you. Eddie Kaspbrak was many things, a coward was not among that list.

“Fuck yeah Eddie.” You moved to the side away from Pennywise who was moving closer to Beverly who was facing down the image of her father.

“Hey Bevvie, are you still my little girl?”  Beverly smiled widely as she smacked Pennywise with a metal pipe. His head cracked to the side and he groaned in pain. That girl really could hit.

“Holy shit!” Richie yelled as the group crowded Pennywise.

“That’s why you didn’t kill Beverly, cause s-s-s-s-she wasn’t afraid, and we aren’t either. Not anymore.”

“Does that go for all of you?” Pennywise turned his eyes on you and your stomach plummeted.

“Oh shit.” You mumbled as Pennywise slowly transformed into you. Your friends all gasped at the sight and you backed away. Not now, not when you were so close to living. Richie wanted to run to you and beat Pennywise some more with his bat but he knew you had to conquer your fears alone.

“It isn’t real (Y/N)!” Stan called out.

“I might not be real, but your thoughts are.” Pennywise retorted. He knew the way into your mind.

“(Y/N)! Hit him!”

“Nothing. You’re nothing.” Your decaying face was taking one step forward each time you took one step back. “They don’t love you.” You gasped with embarrassment your eyes flickering to the confused faces of your friends. Richie’s eyes visibly twitched and you had to look away. “They don’t even know you.”

“He’s lying (Y/N).”

“They’re just telling you that because they want this to be over.” You shook slightly, looking back at your friends once more. Your eyes landed on Beverly and she looked back at you. Love reflected in those eyes and though it may have been platonic it was the strongest kind. Pennywise was wrong, if anyone loved you it was Beverly Marsh. She knew about your thoughts and about your struggles and she hadn’t run.

“I love you (Y/N)!” Richie yelled out and your heart stopped “I love you and I always will.” Your friends followed suit with declarations of love and caring. Stan called you his bluebird and you felt your stomach fluttering.

“They’re liars.” You looked down and away from Pennywise causing him to smirk, he thought he had won. Even if It was only one meal. He wasn’t expecting you to look back at him with a smile. A Tennis Racket in your hands.

“You lie.” You smacked your image across the head and it flickered. “You cheat.” Another hit. “You cheat.” You screamed. “You steal. You steal.” He was Pennywise again and you were now advancing on him smacking him with the flimsy tennis racket. “You do anything.” He leaped away from you. “You’re wrong Pennywise, you might be able to see inside my mind, but my friends can see my heart.” He screeched as he ran to the well. Your friends all followed him weapons in hand ready to smash him in the head.

“Now you’re the one that’s afraid, because you’re going to starve.” Billy aimed the gun at Pennywise’s temple that already had a hole in it. “He thrusts his hands against the post and still insists he sees the ghost.” Bill chanted as Pennywise hung from the edge of the gaping hole ready to drop. “He thrust his hands against the p-p-p-post.”

“Fear.” Pennywise whispered as he let go and faded away.

“I know what I’m doing for my summer experience essay.” Richie said, you turned on your heels and faced him. There was Richard Tozier standing next to his friends with a bat in his hands. He was panting as his hair stuck to his forehead. Your heart was still pounding in your ears from fighting yourself and conquering Pennywise. So many near death experiences, battles inside of your mind but he stuck by you. You knew what Richie meant when he told you he loved you and you were tired of being too scared to express your emotions. He looked back at you with a small smile on his face. Beverly and Eddie watched the both of you, waiting to see if this was finally the moment. You walked up to Richie and threw your arms around his neck before crashing his lips against yours. Unlike the last time you had kissed him he kissed you back. He put his hands gently on your sides pulling you closer.

“I love you too Trashmouth.” You said as you pulled away. “I love you too.”

“All it took was murdering a clown to get you to admit that.” Richie smirked at you. You hadn’t died on him today and he was eternally grateful. Maybe he would do all this again if it meant hearing you say that at the end of it all.

“Hey guys,” Mike said, you didn’t move away from Richie instead switching positions into his side as he wrapped an arm around your waist, “The kids are floating down.” Billy looked up into the missing kids and didn’t see one who resembled his brother, but he did see his brother’s raincoat in a pile of dirt. He walked over to it yanking at it until it freed. He looked at the coat, smothered in blood and he knew. Georgie wouldn’t be coming back. He collapsed on the ground holding the small rain coat to him and crying silently. The losers made their way over to him and put their hands on his shoulder, some even hugging him. You guys had won the war but lost the battle.

“I don’t know, I guess my mind has always had some fucked-up level of darkness too it. I got to bed at night sometimes and I have these horrible thoughts that I can’t shake off. It becomes all I can think about.” You shook your head, sitting with your friends at the Quarry. “I guess my fear wasn’t only my thoughts but that you guys would realize I wasn’t happy all the time.” The group nodded.

“I think we all knew kind of.” Eddie said. “You would smile so much, even when it was obvious something was hurting you. We just figured you’d say something to us when the time was right.”

“Like i-i-i-in 6th grade.” Bill remembered as he looked at the group. “R-R-Richie had said something really h-hurtful. We knew you were c-c-c-crying but when you turned around t-to face us, you just wiped your eyes and s-s-smiled.”

“I remember that, that’s the day Richie called me a slut.” You announced sitting up straight and staring pointedly at your boyfriend. “That was so mean.”

“Hey!” Richie yelled in defense his hands risen in the air. “I was really fucking jealous, confused, and crushing. Cut me some slack.”

“You’re the poster kid for boys who are mean to girls just because they like them.” Beverly chuckled smiling at you both. She was happy that you were now officially a couple, she didn’t think she could handle the angst anymore.

“Point is,” Stan cut in “We’re glad you said something at all.” He smiled at you, his head bandaged from the wounds that Pennywise had given him. “We all love you regardless.”

“Me more than the others.” Richie smiled kissing your hair. Eddie made a sound of disgust.

“We could probably argue about that.” Beverly joked, though you knew she was right. “Hey guys,” She said her face serious once more. “When I was floating in the sewers that day, I saw us.” You looked at her as she scrunched her nose to concentrate. “Saw us together, back in the cistern, but we were older.” She paused to breathe. “I mean our parents ages.”

“W-w-w-what were we all doing there?” Bill asked as his mind conjured up a plan.

“I just remembered how we felt, how scared we were, I don’t think I can ever forget that.” You shuddered not wanting to have to see pennywise ever again. Bill nodded standing up and facing you all, ever the fearless leader.

“Swear,” he spoke with authority bending down to pick up a sharp rock, “swear if IT isn’t dead if IT ever comes back we’ll come back to.” You glanced at the rest of your friends, then at Bev, and then at the love of your life. You all nodded sticking out your palms as Bill went around and slit them each. He tried to be as gentle as he could, but it still stung a lot. Richie patted Eddie on the arm twice when he winced. You all held hands after the slicing was done, blood meshing with blood. Making a promise. You knew you would come back if something ever went wrong and you knew you would have Richie there with you if it came to it.

“I gotta go,” Stan said once the process was over, “I hate you.” He smiled widely. “I’ll see you later.”

“Goodbye Stan.” You said, though you knew you would see him tomorrow.

“Goodbye guys.” He continued to smile softly as he waved at you with his clean hand. He turned around and walked away. The rest of the Losers carried on with their conversation, discussing things from Pennywise, to parents, to the colleges they all wanted to attend. Mike was the next one to leave and you laughed as he said

“See you later, loser.” He was officially a loser’s club member now, and he was taking it so well. There had been a time when Michael was afraid of new friendships but with your guidance and the acceptance he received from the losers he was glad that he had joined. Ben had left next, looking longingly at Beverly she hugged him tightly to her and then returned to Bill’s side. That girl was a mess, your mess. Though you loved Bill greatly you hoped Beverly would someday realize just how much Ben was head over heels for her. Then it was Eddie, he hovered for a moment too long as he began to walk off.

“I’ve lost blood for all of you, suffered a broken arm, and walked through gray water.” You chuckled. “But I would do it again.” He shook his head at his own realization as he walked away leaving you, Richie, Bill and Beverly. You four talked for a while having the least active adults in your life but soon everyone was growing tired.

“Well,” You stood up along with Richie. “I’ll see you at home later.” You said to Beverly. After finding out that Beverly had disposed of her Dad you had offered your home to be her permanent home. There was no life outside of your dynamic duo, and there was no way you were going to let her move all the way across the country to be with her Aunt.

“Definitely.” She smiled, happy that she now had you forever. “Where are you two off to?”

“First date.” Richie shrugged, and you slapped him in the shoulder your cheeks turning crimson.

“First date should have happened in the 8th grade Tozier!” Beverly called after you both as you yelled goodbye to Bill.

“Where to Trashmouth?” He had one hand on your knee, and the other on the wheel. Your hand flicked the necklace on your neck. Now you had your grandmother’s locket and an R for Richie. Two things you were sure you would never take off. He had gifted it to you not long after announcing your love for each other. He was afraid he was going to scare you off, but you reassured him that you had a lot of lost time to make up for.

“Diner and then a movie?” You nodded happily. Though the both of you still had nightmares, and you still struggled with your dark thoughts and failed attempts to see the light, you now had someone to rely on. Someone you knew wouldn’t leave when you couldn’t get up in the morning. Things would never be perfect, and they would never be great. But they were good enough to live with. A genuine smile on your face. You had Beverly, you had Richie, and you had your whole group of Losers. Pennywise couldn’t take you now and if he decided to show his ugly mug in 27 years, he wouldn’t take you then.

“Then what?” You asked him as he pulled into the Diner. He got out of the car on his side coming around to open the door for you. He held a hand out to and you took it, allowing him to help you exit the car. He smiled at you, watching the necklace move against your chest as you walked. Richie leaned down pressing his lips to yours so passionately that your back hit the car. He was in love, you were in love, and maybe that was good enough to pull you through the darkest of times. He pulled away from you, messing with your hair as he stared at you with love struck eyes.

“Then we experience the rest of our lives.”

Though this is the last piece of writing that comes with TWFBTWF I would love to answer any questions you have about the series. Like things that you didn’t see in the story but wondered if it would happen. Also, i have some short stories coming soon after this. They will probably be poster earlier than I posted TWFBTWF. Thanks for accompanying me on this journey everyone. Ily sm. I do have a playlist and some art coming out. OOOOO IF ANYONE DRAWS I WOULD LOVE TO SEE CONCEPTION ART FOR THIS.

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