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homespork-review · 4 years ago

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HOMESPORK ACT 5 ACT 1: Mobius Double Plusungood, Part 3

TW: """funny""" sexual and physical assault of a child by another child, extreme bullying, extreme ableism, a very brief discussion of shipping characters outside their canon sexuality.

CHEL: We get some implications of the part of troll culture we ended on last time when a slightly baffled-looking Nepeta, watching through the viewport, updates her SHIPPING WALL. Instead of hearts, some of the hypothetical pairings she’s painted are marked with diamonds. What this means will be explained shortly.

I can’t help but feel it’s slightly creepy to hypothetically matchmake your own friends, but I’m pretty sure the other trolls know at least that the shipping wall exists if not exactly which ships they’re in, and they do live in a society in which it’s stated later that mating is mandatory, so it would indeed be helpful to have at least emergency-doable matchmaking done well in advance and they might appreciate the help.

I’d like to take a moment to note a ship at the bottom row, left of centre; GA/Tavros. Hussie, on his Formspring, later said that GA was “obviously” a lesbian, or anyway was only interested in women, which doesn’t have a specific term for it in troll culture. It’s actually hard to tell going by what’s shown in canon, because she only displays specific interest in girls except for in a complicated case we’ll discuss later, but trolls are supposed to be bi-normative, plus it’s not like the male selection here is particularly inspiring, so, yeah, the evidence we actually see isn't conclusively "obvious". The fandom, knowing this, systematically harass anyone who even muses vaguely about the possibility of shipping her with a boy, even if they don't know about that Word of God. This is why I’m wondering whether the trolls knew about the shipping wall, because if they did, we can presume GA didn’t care. For the record, I’m sex-repulsed ace and have in fact written about.my own imaginary persona fucking (admittedly fucking an opposite sex clone of herself, it was a complicated injoke) and my reaction to someone else writing it would depend on context and reason, so I can imagine her reacting similarly, but not everyone would. A similar thing with a canonically gay male character explicitly on-screen not caring about hypothetical shipping of himself with girls comes up much later; he’s not a troll, but his upbringing was troll-influenced (long story).

BRIGHT: Harassing people over the ships they make content for always baffles me. It’s not like fanart/fanfic for a ship which contradicts canon has any effect on the canon, and playing around with character dynamics (often in a pornographic manner) is a major part of fanfic.

CHEL: On top of all this, gender and sexuality are really shaky concepts to even try to apply to a species which reproduces hermaphroditically. On this side of the fourth wall it’s obviously because Hussie is a not-very-reflective cisgender heterosexual man, and didn’t think about it any further than “girls wear skirts, right?” Plenty of people fanwank up possibilities for how it could happen on the other side. I think we may have to make a “What The Fuck Is Alternian Biology And Sociology” post or two separate from the sporking at the very end.

Discourse discussion over! Next page, we see some of the relevant terminology used in troll culture, though we still don’t get any explanation of what any of the words actually mean, which is a tad annoying for new readers. The context is a discussion between Karkat and Vriska about getting her into the game.

BRIGHT: Specifically, Karkat wants Vriska to get Tavros into the game, leading to this exchange…

CG: WHY DO YOU EVEN HATE HIM, IT'S FUCKING RIDICULOUS. CG: IF ANYTHING YOU SHOULD PITY HIM. CG: ESPECIALLY SINCE YOU WERE THE ONE WHO PARALYZED HIM. AG: I know. I don't really understand it. AG: It's just a really special kind of h8! It never goes away and it doesn't make a lot of sense. CG: THIS IS KIND OF A WEIRD TIME TO BE CONFIDING IN ME ABOUT YOUR FEELINGS OF BLACK ROMANCE BUT OK. AG: Oh god, what? CG: I MEAN IF YOU'RE REALLY IMPLYING TAVROS IS YOUR KISMESIS I THINK YOU'RE BRAYING UP THE WRONG FROND NUB. CG: BOTH PARTIES HAVE TO HATE EACH OTHER EQUALLY, I MEAN LIKE TRUE HATE. CG: MAYBE YOUR FEELINGS COME SOMEWHAT CLOSE TO FITTING THE BILL BUT I DON'T THINK HE CAN HATE ANYONE, IT'S WEIRD, HE'S KIND OF BROKEN IN THE HEAD.

Finally, our long-awaited introduction to troll romance!

And the introduction is an effective one. We now know that there’s something called ‘black romance’, that it concerns hate, and that one’s black-romantic partner is a ‘kismesis’. The conversation also flows naturally and fits the characters having it, rather than being an awkward as-you-know infodump, although brace yourselves, there’s one of those coming up. Thirteen is about right for kids starting to have romantic feelings and being confused about it, not wanting to talk about it is pretty normal, and Karkat lecturing people at a good opportunity is absolutely in character.

Karkat goes on to lecture Vriska about the emotions involved in different sorts of romantic relationships, and wow, it really says a lot about troll culture…

CG: OK, MOST PEOPLE WHO HAVEN'T HAD THEIR LOBE STEM CAUTERIZED ARE CAPABLE OF FEELING THE TWO PRIMARY EMOTIONS, HATE AND PITY. CG: PITY IS OF COURSE JUST THE TONED DOWN VERSION OF THE CENTRAL EMOTION, HATE. CG: AND ALL THE NUANCES OF PITY MANIFEST AS VARIOUS OTHER KINDS OF FEELINGS LIKE WHATEVER CHEMICAL REACTIONS TRIGGER MATING FONDNESS OR THE MYSTERIOUS FORCES THAT ARE BEHIND MOIRALLEGIANCE.

CHEL: It’s never really clear if this is just Karkat’s idea of it or if this is how trolls actually work biologically. Trolls do use the word “love” later on, so I always interpreted it as “pity” being a euphemistic term because “love” in such a warlike and oppressive culture could be exploited as a weakness. Fandom has played it with their love actually being based on a weird form of sympathy/seeing the other as needing protection, which is also plausible.

FAILURE ARTIST: I have played with the pity thing before but in retrospect Karkat is the only one who seems to see it that way. Maybe this is all his fake deep teenager view of romance.

BRIGHT: Vriska makes a performance of how bored she is, but Karkat’s on a roll.

CG: A WELL BALANCED PERSON IS IS GOING TO HAVE A GOOD DISTRIBUTION BETWEEN HATE AND THE VARIOUS PITY HUMORS. CG: HAVING A GOOD BALANCE KEEPS ALL THE EMOTIONS SHARPER, SEE I THINK THAT'S YOUR PROBLEM. AG: Oh???????? AG: I hope you know I already wore out some good note-taking pens today. All the pens. AG: All of them. CG: SEE, MY HATE IS LIKE A FINELY TUNED INSTRUMENT BECAUSE I'M AWARE OF THESE PRINCIPLES. CG: I COULD HATE A HOLE IN PARADOX SPACE ITSELF, STRAIGHT THROUGH TO A NEW REALITY FRESH FOR THE HATING. AG: Hahahahahahahaha, you don't even know how much I'm laughing at this. CG: BUT SEE, YOU'RE TOO HEAVY ON THE HATE SIDE, OR AT LEAST YOU PRETEND TO BE WHICH IS MAYBE WORSE. AG: You aren't reading anything I say are you? You just want to talk and talk and talk. CG: AND YOU THINK YOU'RE HATING UP EVERYONE HARD WHEN YOU'RE REALLY JUST BURNING OUT THAT ENTIRE EMOTIONAL HEMISPHERE. CG: IT'S LIKE LUKEWARM HATE. PRETENDER'S HATE, WITH NO COUNTERPOINT AT ALL. CG: AS SUCH THERE'S NO REAL SUBSTANCE TO YOUR HATE, IT'S LIKE A CARDBOARD MOVIE PROP. CG: WHICH IS WHY YOUR BRAIN IS BROKEN, KIND OF LIKE TAVROS'S BUT ON THE OPPOSITE HEMISPHERE I GUESS. CG: OR MAYBE YOUR BROKEN BRAIN LED TO THE IMBALANCE IN THE FIRST PLACE, I DON'T KNOW. CG: WHATEVER THE CASE IS, YOU'RE KIND OF EMOTIONALLY SCREWED, SORRY TO SAY. CG: YOUR HATE'S TOO DULL FOR A PROPER KISMESIS, IN MY OPINION. CG: AND I DON'T SEE ANYONE CHOMPING AT THE BIT TO BE YOUR MOIRAIL HONESTLY, UNLESS THERE'S SOMEONE OUT THERE WHO WOULD ACTUALLY BOTHER PITYING YOU. CG: AND LANDING A MATESPRIT? HAHAHAHA! CG: SERIOUSLY, LIKE THAT WOULD EVEN INTEREST YOU. CG: BASICALLY ANY FEATURE OF YOUR EMOTIONAL PROFILE THAT USUALLY MAKES SOMEONE VIABLE IN THE REDROM DEPARTMENT MUST BE TOTALLY FRIED. CG: YOUR BLACKROM POTENTIAL'S PROBABLY TOAST TOO.

Whew.

So now we have ‘kismesis’, ‘moirail’, and ‘matesprit’ as terms for romantic partners, as well as the concepts of black romance, red romance, and ‘moirallegiance’ as the relationship one has with a moirail. Troll romance is not going to get any less confusing for a while.

If Karkat’s grasp of psychology strikes you as amateurish, there’s a reason for that: He gets all his knowledge from romance movies.

AG: Hey asshole, stop watching movies for girls.

I think that’s another strike against the ‘girls are the dangerous ones on Alternia’ argument. Romance movies, per this exchange, are both female-coded and seen as inferior -- Karkat defends his viewing choices by saying they’re INTRIGUING SOCIOLOGICALLY, but Vriska isn’t buying it.

CLOCKWORK PROBLEMATYKKS: 42 WHITE SBURB POSTMODERNISM: 33

CHEL: I’m not sure an interest in the workings of romance should be a socially gendered thing in a society where, as it turns out, you have to have an acceptable romantic partner by a certain time or die. You’d think most kids would be trying as hard as they could to learn and put into practice everything they could about it, and you’d also think there’d be better information for them than romcoms.

BRIGHT: Has the mate-or-die part come up yet? I’m not sure when Hussie thought of it.

CHEL: I don’t know if he’d thought of it yet, but it does come up very soon.

BRIGHT: Karkat then moves on to the original reason he contacted Vriska -- he needs her and her mind powers in the game, because he’s just run into a double agent called Jack.

Over on the next panel, Karkat is still talking to Vriska, but he’s glancing back over his shoulder at Jack Noir. His hand is covered in blood, which keeps cycling through a range of colours. The blood, it transpires, is because Jack stabbed him. Karkat is amazingly calm about this.

CG: HE'S COOL, IT'S FINE I DON'T REALLY MIND THE STABBING, IT WAS ALL A MISUNDERSTANDING. CG: WELL OK I'M PRETTY SURE HE MEANT TO STAB ME. CG: BUT I KIND OF THINK THAT'S LIKE CG: THE WAY HE GREETS PEOPLE? AG: This game is so stupid. CG: IN ANY CASE I THINK HE'S PROBABLY ALL STABBED OUT.

This would be ridiculously chill even from someone who isn’t extremely cagey about his blood colour -- and it’s not that Karkat suddenly doesn’t care any more, because as soon as Vriska says she’ll ask Terezi or Jack what colour he’s bleeding, he tells her that he’s out of Terezi’s range, Jack is sworn to secrecy, and Sollux (who’s incommunicado) is the only one who knows how to make Trollian’s viewport feature work. (Given we saw how easy it is to use earlier, I’m surprised Vriska doesn’t try to figure it out herself.)

Over on the next panel, the viewer is now Jack, a few minutes prior to this conversation. Contrary to Karkat’s protestations, Jack stabs him because He's got a pretty sharp tongue and can't seem to keep it sheathed. He is curious when Karkat cares less about the wound and more about Jack seeing his blood colour, which is apparently some freakish mutation. Jack looks at his knife…

CHEL: While it’s not a realistic depiction of the colour, recall that this is the shade of red used in-comic to depict human blood. This reveal probably isn’t a surprise to anyone by now, if you’ve encountered fanart, and honestly it wasn’t a huge mindblowing revelation on my first read before I knew, but I do think it’s a clever little “aha, THAT’S why!” moment. Skilfully done.

It seems he's the only one of his kind with this mutant candy-red blood. An outcast. He thinks he was put on this planet covered in an ocean of his own blood to be taunted. Punished for something. Saddest story you ever heard. Got to do something to shut him up.

BRIGHT: Awww. That’s kind of sweet.

This little interchange gave rise to the ‘Stabdads’ fandom phenomenon, where Spades Slick is envisaged as Karkat’s father-figure. In Homestuck canon, it’s dubious how much affection Slick has for Karkat. He seems more irritated by him than anything else, but that’s about on par for how he treats the rest of the Midnight Crew. On the other hand, it clearly makes a massive impact on Karkat. We’ve seen how important blood colour is on Alternia and how insecure he is about his own; his sudden rush of fellow-feeling towards Jack is understandable, even if it does make him way too forgiving about having been stabbed.

CHEL: Karkat and Jack shake hands, and proceed to be in cahoots. Cahoooooooots. Doodling on the defaced parking ticket from earlier, they draft OPERATION REGISURP.

Your whole team executes the plan along the course of its journey, employing espionage, mind control tactics, political sabotage, vicious interrogations and cold blooded assassinations. Everyone does their part and you begin to learn the true meaning of teamwork, as well as this troll disease called friendship.

Yeah, it actually happening is skipped over with one paragraph, but that’s probably a good thing with all the complexity already going on, and we do hear more details about it. First, we’re reminded of the existence and functions of the Queens’ Rings, the magic rings the queens of Derse and Prospit have which give them traits and powers from whatever the players put in their sprites. The trolls have put their lusii in their sprites, except for Aradia, whose lusus died long ago, so she got in the sprite herself. The Queen could put up with getting bits and pieces from eleven hideous monsters (well, ten hideous monsters and one adowable little fairybull thing oh my gosh it’s cuuuute) tacked onto her, but what she absolutely won’t stand for is the other thing Aradia put in her sprite…

She could not stand bearing the visage of the most loathsome creature known to existence. So vile is its appearance, so contemptible its purpose, all depictions of the creature let alone members of its population are permanently banned from any jurisdiction in the reach of her agents. Those of its kind go by many names, and so does the reviled patron god they herald - THE GREAT DETESTATION, KING PONDSQUATTER, SPEAKER OF THE VAST JOKE, or most commonly, BILIOUS SLICK.

Recall that AR thought of the hieroglyphs in the Frog Temple as “illegal pictography”. We’ll find out later why the Black Queen has such a revulsion for frogs, it’s important. But the important part right now is that she took the ring off. At the time of planning it’s in the ROYAL VAULT.

We briefly see a moment in the future of the Black Queen wrapped in rags, just like the human sessions’ White Queen, wandering the desert as the BANISHED QUASIROYAL, and the caption notes the plan was a success.

However, Doc Scratch appears in the desert in front of her, and it’s noted she was given a new purpose. This, it seems, is the origin of Snowman.

FAILURE ARTIST: I would like if there was some canon Homestuck material expanding on this REGISURP plot.

BRIGHT: Same! It sounds really interesting. One example of Homestuck’s idiosyncratic pacing, I suppose -- we spend pages and pages on trivial alchimeter nonsense, but skip over something more meaty.

CHEL: The Red Team work on that, while the Blue Team battle their own session… or so they think. Yeah, I’m sure you’ve all already figured it out, but the trolls hadn’t just yet. They note that their prototypes are affecting the opposite team’s underlings, and the readers are shown Alternia’s two Frog Temples, one near Aradia’s home and the other near Kanaya’s, each with six pillars outside (one seems to have five, but the sixth is hidden behind the building). Superimposed on each other, the pillars make a full ring of twelve.

The truth was it had always been the same session all along. That your teams were not competing, but cooperating toward a common goal. In the more drawn out form of this adventure's narrative, figuring this out would have been a huge deal. We would have been completely blown away by this stunning revelation. Wow. Same session all along. Really? Huh.

This is what Aradia’s been so mysterious about. She knew. We’re provided with a handy diagram, in case we haven’t been able to keep up.

After watching the phrases MOBIUS DOUBLE and REACH AROUND toggle for a few minutes while in a sort of stupor, you finally snap out of it.

(I just noticed, the Blue Team are the Derse dreamers and the Red Team are the Prospit dreamers. Neat!)

The reader’s attention is drawn instead to the Aquarius and Pisces symbols in the top left, belonging to characters we haven’t met yet, and the narration promises we’ll learn about them soon. Drawing attention again to GA’s Virgo symbol, the narration muses about her.

It will probably be quite some time before you get to be her. It could very well be pages and pages and pages.

Naturally, we jump right back to her.

GA’s intro is long, so we’ll take it piece by piece.

Your name is KANAYA MARYAM.

The Sanskrit name for Virgo is “Kanya”, and it’s also the name of a town in Japan. “Maryam” is the Arabic version of “Mary”, as in Jesus’ mother. It may also be a reference to Marya Zaleska, the title character of the movie “Dracula’s Daughter”.

You are one of the few of your kind who can withstand the BLISTERING ALTERNIAN SUN, and perhaps the only who enjoys the feel of its rays. As such, you are one of the few of your kind who has taken a shining to LANDSCAPING. You have cultivated a lush oasis around your hive, and in particular, you have honed your craft through the art of TOPIARY, sculpting your trees to match the PUFFY ORACLES from your dreams. You have embraced the tool of this trade, which conveniently is the weapon of choice for those who would hunt the HEINOUS BROODS OF THE UNDEAD which crawl from the sand at sunrise to feast on the light and the living.

Couple things established here; trolls are not only nocturnal but actively harmed by their planet’s sun, and undead beings other than ghosts exist. Said traditional weapon for hunting them is a chainsaw, which we can see lying against her bookshelf, a reference to the Evil Dead movies.

It would be convenient if you actually hunted them, but it is of course far too dangerous, every bit as suicidal as attempting to poach the terrible MUSCLEBEASTS who roam at night. So you indulge in your bright fascination with the grim through literature. Just before the sun goes down and you join your flora in rest, you immerse yourself in tales of RAINBOW DRINKERS and SHADOW DROPPERS and FORBIDDEN PASSION.

Rainbow drinkers are, as discussed later on, troll vampires. I don’t think shadow droppers are ever expanded on, but they might be zombies or werebeasts. Troll goths, apparently, are the reverse of human goths, dressing in bright colours and staying up in the daytime, which makes sense for a species who can only safely go out at night.

You are one of the few of your kind with JADE GREEN BLOOD. As such you are one of the few who could be selected and raised by a VIRGIN MOTHER GRUB, an event so rare as to elude documented precedent. She would defend you from desert threats, and though her life would be short, in time you would assure her of progeny.

Recall that the Mother Grub is required for troll reproduction.

You are a SEAMSTRESS or a RAGRIPPER or a TREETRIMMER or a LUMBERJACK, whichever you care to be, and your unique hive is equipped with a great supply of advanced technology to accommodate your interests. The technology and indeed the hive itself were all recovered from the ruins nearby when you were very young. The seed of your hive was deployed on the volcanic rocks beneath the sand with the assistance of your lusus and her remarkable burrowing skills, and you have lived there happily together since. You know the ruins and the hive and everything here that is not sand and rock originated from the world of your dreams. You also know that one day you will visit this world while you are awake. That day is today.

Like Jade, Kanaya has been awake on Prospit for years, and the technology in question is Skaian in origin, so that’s how she knows what’s going on with the game.

Kanaya is prompted to equip her chainsaw, which promptly turns into a lipstick in a Problem Sleuth reference. Like Jade, she has a Wardrobifier, set to randomise, which suddenly turns her black shirt and red skirt into a red leaf-print dress. She takes out the lipstick.

You can choose between your trademark jade or black. Even though a troll's lips are naturally black. But they can always be blacker, and a lady with a true sense of style knows this.

She goes with green, her dress turns into a blue kimono, and she’s messaged by someone with a fuschia Pisces symbol. This person, named cuttlefishCuller, turns out to be rather excitable, greeting her in all caps and following it up with Glub glub glub glub glub!

BRIGHT: This conversation is pretty sweet, with some friendly joking about CC’s quirk (they stick hyphens in front of their capital Es) and mention of their Collapsing And Expanding Bladder Based Aquatic Vascular System. There’s another mention of moirails, with CC saying they’ll have to join the game late to keep an eye on theirs.

It also turns out both CC and Kanaya are having some premonitions of what’s to come! Kanaya is seeing visions in the clouds of Skaia, the same way Jade does, but CC hears whispers from a mysterious ‘she’ who needs her voice keeping down. It’s implied to be CC’s lusus, as both Kanaya and CC are aware their lusii are going to die soon.

Kanaya hopes to be with her lusus as she dies, but looks out of the window to find the Virgin Mother Grub has already passed away, apparently of natural causes.

CHEL: The Mother Grub was seen briefly before; it’s a moth-like creature with a huge fat body the size of a bus, with wings too small to ever lift it, horns the same shape as Kanaya’s, and a skull-like head with big lips. The skull on Terezi’s Doomsday Scale was, we can tell now, a Mother Grub, except quite a lot bigger - presumably a breeding Grub.

BRIGHT: Kanaya changes back into her original outfit, and goes down to live up to her end of the bargain… which entails slicing a hole in her lusus with her chainsaw and pulling out a round object covered in spikes the colour of trolls’ horns, called a Matriorb. Kanaya stores it in her sylladex; she’s using a CHASTITY MODUS, which locks each card away, and the key will serendipitously be discovered when it’s time for the card to be unlocked. These modii are getting more and more esoteric.

Kanaya proceeds to have a conversation with her own moirail, Vriska, which we already read earlier.

You then proceed to have the rest of this conversation we already read, bugging and fussing and meddling through the special and magical union one can only describe as being in moirallegiance with another. At least, you guess that's how you would describe it. Maybe. Troll romance sure is confusing!

Yes, yes it is. (Spoiler: It’s not that confusing once it’s explained.)

Kanaya doesn’t have long to dwell on the conversation, as she’s contacted by caligulasAquarium, someone with a violet Aquarius symbol who she doesn’t seem to think highly of. It rapidly becomes apparent why.

CA: kan make her talk to me do somethin GA: Who CA: your no good connivvin fuckin backstabbin girl crush thats wwho

CHEL: Trolls are supposed to come bi/pan as standard, so why does he need to specify “girl crush”? I wonder if Hussie hadn’t decided that yet when he wrote this part, but I’m not sure.

WHITE SBURB POSTMODERNISM: 34

CA’s gender hasn’t been revealed, but let’s not kid ourselves, we know from how he’s talking that he’s a dude. Nice Girls certainly exist but they don’t tend to get portrayed as so whiny in fiction, plus CC comes off as very girly, and that leaves us with six boy and six girl trolls. Balance and opposites and counterparts are a running theme throughout Homestuck. Not that there can’t be nonbinary characters, as some show up in Hiveswap; just that there would most likely have to be an even number of them, split evenly between the groups of players. Fine by me as a nonbinary person with a thing for balance and even numbers of my own.

Also, note that we’ve seen this guy, or at least his hand and foot, before. This is the litter-hater in the bowling shoes.

GA: Overstating Our Relationship Wont Make Me Feel Very Cooperative GA: Its Paler Red Than That Ok CA: pshhhhhh that is a fuckin laugh and you knoww it evveryone does CA: so help me out tell her to talk to me i think she blocked me you got to GA: Why Do I Got To GA: I Dont Got To And Every Time You Take My Help For Granted I Feel Like I Got To A Little Less CA: wwhatEVVER you are so the vvillage twwo wwheel devvice wwhen it comes to auspisticing CA: you cant let a grudge go by you wwont stick your busy stem betwwixt so get wwith the program fussyfangs

BRIGHT: Oh hey, another troll romance term! ‘Auspisticing’ is the last of the lot, don’t worry.

CA: wwho givves a shit wwhy she blocked me or about my fuckin manners come on youvve got a wway wwith her CA: i figure if youre going to auspisticize any twwo brinesuckers wwho sneer at each other a funny wway you might as wwell make it official and be ours right GA: Your Black Solicitation Just Seems Really Indecent

Funny words aside, Hussie does a good job at laying down context for what auspisticism is here; we now know that it involves mediating between two parties who dislike each other and that it’s a form of black romance. Meshing worldbuilding naturally into the dialogue is something Homestuck does really well at times.

Anyway, CA is trying to get in contact with Vriska because he asked her to make something for him and now she’s blowing him off.

GA: What Is It CA: kan stupid wwhat do you think its a fuckin gizmo to bloww up the wworld or somethin CA: ok wwell not that obvviously CA: but somethin thatll kill all land dwwellers wwhat else wwould i be after GA: Can You Just For A Moment Entertain The Thoughts Of One Untouched By Megalomaniacal Derangement And Tell Me Why Id Want To Assist You With That CA: wwell CA: im not goin to vvery wwell kill you am i that wwould be fuckin unconscionable CA: wwhat kind of friend wwould i be

While CA is obviously a douche, there’s something funny about how over-the-top he is about it and how utterly oblivious he is to the idea that Kanaya might have a problem with a device that would kill all landdwellers, although the humour is inversely proportionate to how likely he is to pull it off.

CHEL: Maybe I’m strange, but I think he’s adorable. I get the impression of a small kid trying to puff himself up to adult size.

BRIGHT: There’s also more romance talk, and this next bit is one I find interesting:

CA: you could either play along as our auspistice and do a little mediating like you wwere fuckin hatched to CA: or wwatch she and me devvolvve into fuckin full fledged kismesisses the kind like you dont get once in ten thousand swweeps CA: you knoww thats wwhat it wwould be there wwould be rainboww rivvers runnin through star systems and all nebulizin like liquid firewworks CA: it wwill be beautiful and heartbreaking all at once CA: you should read up on your history instead of poring through that godawwfull sunny rubbish

I’m going to take a step back from Homestuck itself for a moment and talk about kismessitude as it’s portrayed in fandom. People tend to envision it in a variety of ways -- some see it as a BDSM relationship, some as a way of pushing a rival to be better, some as just straight-up hate-sex -- but most depictions show it as something that only affects the two people involved.

Here, though? CA’s talking about kismessitude as something that’s potentially really damn dangerous, to other people besides those involved, and cites history as a backup -- implying it can really be that dangerous, and it’s not just a teenager’s flight of fancy. (Although, that said, CA is clearly using this to try and get Kanaya in a relationship with him, so how sincere he is is questionable.)

CHEL: Later on we do see a little bit of one of the historical cases he might have been citing. We’ll discuss it more then. Also, I do like him saying “sunny” instead of “gloomy”. Makes sense!

Kanaya tells CA none of this matters, and he sneers about the “purity of the bloodline”. That’s an… uncomfortable turn of phrase, especially since he’s speaking to someone not covered by the “purity” standard, but since it applies to aliens and it’s in a society where that’s hammered into its inhabitants it’s not a Problematykks issue. Kanaya tells him it still won’t matter because their race will be wiped out entirely, and his reaction is remarkably understated:

CA: huh CA: wwell ok HURRY UP AND DO NOTHING: 11

CA says he knows Kanaya doesn’t lie except to herself, surprisingly perceptive for one so puffed-up otherwise. CA might be smarter than he’s letting on? He asks if her clouds told her that; that was the reader’s assumption too, but she says no, she has a different source. Uh-oh. We know what the last source of information was, and it cost Vriska an arm and an eye-sevenfold. CA’s own clouds “hide nothin but misfortune and monstrosities”, so we can guess she’s Prospit and he’s Derse. He goes back to nagging her to tell Vriska to talk to him, and when she continues to refuse he poutily steps off.

CA: you dont wwant to be our auspistice cause you dont wwant to get locked into that sort of relation wwith her i can respect that

Kanaya denies this, and CA says everyone knows, including Karkat.

GA: Its Unbelievable GA: Her Patience CA: wwhat CA: wwhoa wwait wwho GA: Never Mind CA: ok wwait did she talk to you today CA: wwhat did she say CA: or glub or wwhatevver

They’re talking about CC, if it wasn’t clear. Kanaya, in a callback to John’s comment to Terezi, facetiously tells him that she talked about Longing To Touch You Indiscretely and That Shes Basically In The Scarlet Throes For You. CA, flustered, picks up that she’s teasing him, and she tells him the truth, that CC’s just concerned as a moirail.

CA: if youre not savvvvy about howw you define yourself to people CA: you can just splash into the moirail zone before you knoww wwhich wways upwward

I’m going to comment on this attitude in a bit more detail when we get a clearer explanation of what moirallegiance actually is. CA leaves her with some arc words.

CA: being a kid and growwing up CA: its hard and nobody understands

Kanaya heads back to her room, planning to emphatically not meddle but help her friends, and consults her source; it’s fortunately not a Doc Scratch-related one at all. It is, in fact, Rose’s long-forgotten GameFAQ, saved on a server floating in the Furthest Ring, to which Prospit’s clouds directed her. I have to show you the panel for a moment though…

I’m sure there was a way we could see the screen without having it facing away from Kanaya who’s supposed to be reading it.

You can only assume this took place a long time ago. This race is likely ancient, preceding yours by millions of sweeps. Maybe billions! You like to try to imagine the adventures of these players. Were they successful in repopulating their race? Did they manage to protect their matriorb and hatch a new mother grub? Could they hold it together, or were they torn apart by the complex social dynamics, the matespritships and moirallegiences and auspisticisms and kismesissitudes that will surely plague your group along the way? You have little doubt they succeeded with flying colors.

Oh dear, dramatic irony. Kanaya fantasises about a troll version of Rose, thinking she must have been the leader of this supposedly long-ago group.

And yet they appear to have been the only of their kind to have risen to the challenge in a session stacked heavily against them.

Huh. So is this just because Kanaya can’t find more information, or are the four kids in fact the only humans who successfully got into the game? Picking four specifically white-coded kids to be the last of the human race due to supposedly their own competence is… not a good choice. And why the hell couldn’t other people succeed? This strikes me as more of the whole theme of “nobody matters except the people we’re focusing on”. A good lampshading of video game tropes, but in a literary story, that’s the opposite message to everything I’ve ever read, and it’s a creepy one.

CLOCKWORK PROBLEMATYKKS: 43 HURRY UP AND DO NOTHING: 12 WHITE SBURB POSTMODERNISM: 35

BRIGHT: I thiiiiiiiink it’s at least implied later on that there are other sessions going, it’s just that each session is a closed loop of players so we don’t see the others...although if that’s the case, does that mean Earth’s getting hit with meteors from multiple Skaias?

CHEL: That over with for the moment, we cut to Tavros’ house as you take your place as the PAGE OF BREATH in the LAND OF SAND AND ZEPHYR. Vriska, his server player, gets down to the business of building up his house towards the Gate…

… entirely out of staircases.

AT: i THINK THIS, iS, AT: pROBABLY MEANT TO ANTAGONIZE ME,

Okay, this probably makes me a bad person, but I’m crying with laughter at his expression and that line.

It’s more disability slapstick, but here the point of the joke comes off as being more that Vriska is a jerk and Tavros’ reaction is really understated than any reasonable person being supposed to assume Tavros is wrong for not being able to climb stairs. Emphasis on “comes off as”, unfortunately. I’m still gonna give a Problematykks point, and further experience with Hussie’s attitude to disability has soured the joke somewhat, even in just the next couple of pages.

CLOCKWORK PROBLEMATYKKS: 44

BRIGHT: Vriska tries to get Tavros to crawl up the stairs, first by telling him that he promised not to be boring anymore and then by saying that she’s trying to help him get stronger. She caps off the rant by demanding that he apologise.

AT: oKAY, AT: tHANKS, i GUESS, AT: bUT, AT: sORRY FOR WHAT, AG: For 8eing crippled, you ass! AT: yOU WANT ME TO APOLOGIZE, AT: fOR BEING PARALYZED, AG: Yes. AG: Say you're sorry. AT: i DON'T MEAN TO BE RUDE, oR bORING, AT: bUT THAT'S RIDICULOUS, gIVEN, AT: uH, tHE CIRCUMSTANCES, AG: 8ullshit! AG: It's something called 8asic decency and civility you fudge8looded 8oor. AG: Now get down on your useless wo88ly knees and apologize. AT: nO, i DON'T WANT TO, AG: >::::O

Vriska, what the fuck.

Tavros is really great here. He’s obviously not comfortable fighting with Vriska, and repeatedly tries to redirect her into building him ramps instead of engaging. But, at the same time, he holds his ground and doesn’t let her push him around, and won’t let go of solid hard reality in the face of Vriska trying to emotionally manipulate him.

FAILURE ARTIST: And yet people still call him a wimp.

BRIGHT: Vriska retaliates, because of course she does, by grabbing his wheelchair with her cursor and shaking it about. If Hussie left it at that, everything would be unobjectionable, at least in terms of narrative voice. Instead, well…

Now she's done it. She has awoken the mighty inner fury that is... RUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUFIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!

CHEL: It just occurred to me to mention that the name Rufio comes from a character in the movie Hook, the leader of the Lost Boys after Peter Pan left, played by Dante Basco. Tavros’ mental image of him is a reference to that character.

FAILURE ARTIST: Dante Basco did read Homestuck, with hilarious results as we will see.

But unfortunately, Rufio is not real. He's imaginary. A fake. Like a made up friend, the way fairies are. You continue to be sad and alone.

BRIGHT: Eurgh.

Let me be clear: Tavros having no further recourse to deal with Vriska’s abuse beyond his visualised self-esteem is a problem for the character, but it’s not necessarily a narrative problem per se. Escapism is a thing. You could get a decent character arc out of Tavros learning better ways to deal with harassment he can’t escape. It is a narrative problem when the narrator mocks it and makes him out to be pathetic for even trying it.

CHEL: I’d consider this to be just Tavros’ own thought process, but, sadly, this kind of narrative sneering at him carries on throughout Tavros’ presence in the comic and the fandom seems to buy into it. Tavros gets a lot of hate for reasons which mostly boil down to him being a male abuse victim; there’s a feeling that he should “try harder” to fight back, despite him being physically disabled and a member of a caste out of sight beneath her on the social ladder and legally permitted to be killed by her on a whim. Might that count as a point for WHITE SBURB POSTMODERNISM, for Huss and the fandom not taking the social dynamics into account for why Tavros can’t defend himself?

BRIGHT: I don’t know if it’s fair to count against the fandom when we’re reviewing Homestuck proper, but we can definitely count against Hussie!

WHITE SBURB POSTMODERNISM: 36

CHEL: It’s also notable that the common fandom interpretation of Tavros is as Hispanic-coded, at least partly due to his Spanish username, and of Vriska as white-coded. That’s probably not helping.

Since Hussie appears to expect us to agree with Vriska that this is funny, I’m adding another to these as well.

ALL THE LUCK: 2 CLOCKWORK PROBLEMATYKKS: 45 IN HATE WITH MY CREATION: 3

BRIGHT: What’s weird about this whole mess is that Hussie doesn’t — yet — try to say that Tavros should be trying to get stronger; his disability is fully acknowledged. I feel like this kind of mockery is usually accompanied by the attitude that disabled people should just get over their disability, but Hussie’s clear that Tavros can’t. Which means he should do...what, exactly?

CHEL: Not have let Vriska disable him in the first place, presumably. Never mind that, you know, she has mind control powers so he didn’t really have a choice in that either. That is, however, an argument Vriska fans actually make. Apparently some of them actually blame him for not flying when she threw him off the cliff, which… well, unpowered flight is a thing that can happen in the comic but he certainly couldn’t do it then.

BRIGHT: ...Apparently I retain the capacity for surprise at how awful people can be. The fuck?

Back in the comic, Tavros fortunately does have one other means of recourse. Back in her hive, Vriska is suddenly prodded in the back with a flying toilet, courtesy of Kanaya.

GA: Just Presenting A Floating Reminder That Tavros Will Need Plenty Of Inclined Surfaces For His Ascent AG: That's silly. I made so many ramps, you wouldn't even 8elieve it. AG: I specifically decided I wanted to 8uild something ugly and 8oring. It is now the land of ramps and yawns. GA: Hes Reported Otherwise AG: That lousy snitch! May8e I should take his computer away so he can't go crying to fussyfangs anymore. GA: Maybe I Should Upend This Load Gaper Over Your Head AG: No, don't! GA: Im Still Learning The Interface GA: It Could Happen Accidentally At Any Moment AG: I'm only trying to help him. ::::( GA: Think Of Another Way To Help

CHEL: Did I mention Kanaya is my zodiac troll? I can only long to reach her heights of awesome. Of course the ability to levitate toilets would kinda help.

BRIGHT: Vriska heads down to her treasure vault and retrieves a pair of ROCKET SHOES. The captchalogue code for these is ‘PSHOOOES’, which amuses me greatly. Vriska sends the code to Tavros, who combines it with the code for his wheelchair to create a flying wheelchair. Now that is a good use of alchemising!

CHEL: Awww!

Tavros flies up to the Gate, and we cut back to him later on, leading an entourage of communed-with imps and ogres to move obstacles and help him solve puzzles. Using his skills well, I see! In another set of ruins the imps load jigsaw pieces of rock into a frog-shaped alcove,

Things, however, don’t continue to go so well, because Hussie hates this poor kid. I do not mean that facetiously. Statements he’s made elsewhere imply he has a hell of a lot of contempt for several of the characters he created, which I don’t understand at all. We’ll go into this after Act 7, but I get the sensation that the characters are merely tools to show off the complexity and meta references, which are the parts he really cares about.

BRIGHT: It’s not unknown for authors to dislike characters they wrote; the great Terry Pratchett reputedly hated his character Rincewind. The key difference is that in Pratchett’s case, the audience couldn’t tell. Hussie, on the other hand, tends to make his disdain pretty obvious, to the detriment of the story.

CHEL: That’s a point. Conan Doyle grew to hate Sherlock Holmes, too. He didn’t, however, set up situations solely to shit on Holmes in his books.

BRIGHT: I think that’s the key. I’ll forgive a multitude of failings as long as the author seems to be treating the characters fairly. That doesn’t mean that good things have to happen to them — plenty of bad things can happen and I’ll enjoy it — it just means that the author has to...respect how the character feels and would behave, I guess.

Of course, respect is Hussie’s antithesis, so.

Also, nothing so far has shown Vriska to be anything other than a (granted, entertaining) bully. I wasn’t around while Homestuck was updating, so I’m not sure when her fandom took off, but it has to be later than this, surely?

CHEL: I don’t know. I wasn’t around till about mid-Act 6.

What was I on about? Oh yes. Tavros is interrupted by Vriska again, who bitches him out for doing things the boring way and seeking the boring lore.

AG: The minds of your consorts are very soft and impressiona8le. AG: As easily manipul8ed as all those imps you've 8een 8ossing around. AG: I have picked apart their tiny little lizard 8rains and seen through all the smoke and mirrors of their riddles. AG: I have gotten to the truth they are guarding. The great 8ig mystery 8ehind this planet. And you know what it is, Tavros? AT: nO, AG: It's 8ullshit! AG: Meaningless, 8oring, fanciful 8ullshit wrapped in flowery poems to keep you guessing. AG: It all leads to one thing anyway, and that's what we should put our attention on. AG: Real gamers cut to the chase. They power through all the nonsense and go for the gold. AG: They cheat, Tavros. AG: It is time you learned to start cheating.

Interesting theory. Tavros thinks befriending his monsters instead of killing them is cheating, and Vriska grudgingly agrees but is annoyed he isn’t killing anything. She claims to have designed a better and more challenging quest for him; he asks after her own quest, and she says she has time because Kanaya’s busy.

AG: Which is just as well 8ecause I was starting to get nannied HARD. WHITE SBURB POSTMODERNISM: 37

Strange word choice for a species raised by animals, but okay. Vriska sends Tavros a map to the next Gate, and he sets off in his little rocket chair. Little does he know.

You proceed through what seems to be your second gate, into the LAND OF MAPS AND TREASURE. The THIEF OF LIGHT lies in wait.

In a callback to our last meeting of Breath and Light players, Tavros crashes through Vriska’s wall and is left hanging upside-down in the rocket chair from the large cobwebs across the room, while Vriska sleeps on a pile of broken eight-balls. Doesn’t look comfortable, but trolls rest in worse places later. Vriska wakes, and Tavros falls head-first onto the floor.

Here is where it gets incredibly uncomfortable, and we have to show it in detail to assign points properly and so that there’s no ambiguity about what’s happening, so if you have any sexual assault, ableism, underage, mind control, or victim-blaming triggers you may want to skip this part. No clothing is removed but it’s very unpleasant to read and the attitude toward it is worse. Seriously, this is Taklamakan Zoo levels of bad.

(This heading below’s not part of the comic, I just put it there so you can skip. The sequence ends with the piece of fanart of Kanaya looking at the sideways screen.)

~*THE ASSAULT STARTS HERE*~

Vriska sits up. She’s wearing a very short strappy white Tinkerbell dress with her sign on it, and what look like over-the-knee socks, a commonly fetishised style of clothing. I remind you these characters are supposed to be thirteen years old. The dress is also the same as the one worn by the fairy in the artwork on Tavros’ desktop background. I don’t know if Vriska had seen that or not.

FAILURE ARTIST:

To be fair she’s just in an actually-more-modest version of what Peter Pan’s sidekick/love interest wears and the socks come off as more dorky than sexy.

Oh my! It appears Pupa Pan himself has flown through your window while you were asleep. How exciting! Surely he is here to take you away on the adventure of a lifetime. He is more dreamy and heroic than you ever imagined. But what's this?? It seems the legendary Boy-Skylark has misplaced his shadow. He is looking EVERYWHERE for it, to no avail. He is having a devil of a time, what with being paralyzed from the waist down and all. He clearly needs your help.

CHEL: Vriska is prompted to Help Pupa find shadow, and approaches Tavros with a nasty-looking grin on her face, while he lies on the floor, gritting his teeth in noticeable pain.

Pupa! You truly are a silly goose. Your shadow has been trapped underneath your useless torso the whole time! Honestly, where else would it be you stupid sack of shit?

Charming. Vriska proceeds to kick him in the head, or at least nudge him with her foot, while he lies unresponsive.

Of course, the secret to reuniting with your shadow is to get up and walk around. And play and dance and frolic! Your shadow will surely join in your gaiety. But it appears Pupa has lost the use of his legs. There will be no frolicking in this young man's future. ::::( Unless...

Everyone knows that just a pinch of SPECIAL STARDUST along with a happy thought will allow any boy to get up and walk again. Everyone knows this because it is in the classic tale, PUPA PAN. Young Pupa flies through the window of a fairy girl's respiteblock, falls on the floor, and has trouble getting up like an enormous pansy. The fairy girl then helps him walk again, and in return, he teaches her to fly, even though she probably already knows how to fly. Because she's a fairy. They fly out of her window together, and have magical adventures for many sweeps thereafter. To be honest, you hardly know a damn thing about Pupa Pan. But you do not care.

Pupa remains as pathetic and useless as ever.

FAILURE ARTIST: The story just keeps mocking Tavros for being disabled.

CHEL: Not to mention for being interested in fairies. Because how dare a boy have a gender-nonstandard interest, or a young teenager enjoy whimsical escapism from an increasingly horrible and guaranteed-to-be-short life.

WHITE SBURB POSTMODERNISM: 39

I might be projecting because the fandom has made me loathe her, but it honestly comes off like Vriska dressed up like this in the first place less to seduce Tavros and more to make sure she thoroughly ruined his favourite thing to hurt him further, especially if the narration is supposed to be things she’s actually saying to him.

The stardust did nothing! Probably because it is just glittery powder with no magical properties whatsoever and is basically bullshit. Because in case it wasn't clear, magic isn't real, and neither are miracles. OR It could just be that Pupa has failed to have a happy thought! Your duty is clear. You will have to MAKE him have happy thoughts. Vriska: Make Pupa have happy thoughts.

He certainly doesn’t seem to be having happy thoughts now. Notice his expression, what we can see of it, looks terrified, he’s trembling, and let’s recall that he’s paralysed from the waist down. Even if he wasn’t, she’s of a far, far higher caste than him, legally permitted to do whatever she wants to him, including killing him if he tries to resist. It’s kind of gone back and forth on, but higher bloods are a few times stated to be a lot stronger than lower bloods, and if they work like humans, they’re in puberty right now, a time at which human girls tend to get taller and stronger sooner than boys. Again, it’s gone back and forth on, but a common interpretation is that female trolls are stronger than male trolls in general and/or have the social power advantage. Let’s also remember that, even if none of those factors apply, Vriska has mind control powers. There is no point here at which Tavros has the advantage, nothing he can use as leverage on her. She can do whatever the hell she wants, and she does.

BRIGHT: We’ve also been explicitly shown that Vriska has little to no respect for anyone else’s autonomy if she finds it inconvenient, and that Tavros is her favourite punching bag, and that his ability to stand up for himself when she gets going is extremely limited.

CHEL: Despite the odds stacked against him, Tavros struggles against the kiss forced on him, and when Vriska pushes him back, doesn’t respond with anything but a look of horror, though she appears to expect him to, as a flickering heart-spade with a question mark over it appears between them. I’m not sure whether that’s supposed to be the thought process of him or her or both.

Vriska hurls him onto the floor with some force...

… and activates her mind control, causing little hearts to light up in Tavros’ eyes.

BRIGHT: Vriska has used her mind-control powers on Tavros before, and when it happened she walked him off a cliff. There is basically no way that her doing it again isn’t going to be a traumatic experience for him, above and beyond the inherent horror of losing control over one’s body.

I’m inclined to think that forcibly altering his emotions is worse, though. Being paralysed was bad enough, but Tavros knows what happened and he knows how he feels about it. Making him fall in love with her is just…on one level, it’s a horrible assault on his autonomy as a person, and on another level, it’s tailor-made to make him doubt himself and believe the encounter was something he wanted.

FAILURE ARTIST: I hadn’t thought that he might now consider the encounter as consensual, which would explain his later reaction.

CHEL: Tavros paws at her legs, making kissy faces, and she looks vaguely concerned. Note the background still depicts wavy blue rays coming off her, showing her power is still active.

Looking defeated, she drops the control and dumps him on the floor again.

I’m not sure what she’s supposed to be thinking in this last panel. Is she feeling guilty? Is she disappointed that he didn’t like her under his own power? Has she just decided he’s too useless to be worth the effort? Any could be true.

BRIGHT: I read that as disappointment that even when he ‘liked’ her, he didn’t act the way she wanted. (And the way Tavros acted is kind of disturbing. ‘Mindlessly pawing at someone’ is not what I’d expect from him if he was legitimately attracted to someone.)

FAILURE ARTIST: The common interpretation these days was she was realizing she wasn’t into boys which okay that’s good for her but she should feel more bad about molesting him.

CHEL: That also makes no sense, because she shows interest in multiple boys later.

I’m also not entirely sure if Vriska had the intention of actually raping Tavros here (in the standard way, I mean, as one could argue that mind control is a form of rape), or just making out with him. The fact that she dressed up in vaguely fetishy clothing isn’t making it look good, though. Yes, she’s very young, but traumatised kids in particular have been known to lash out sexually like that. It’s a way of reasserting personal power, and I imagine it would be more prevalent in a society with no sapient adult supervision. While there are mitigating circumstances involved in their social situation and Vriska not really having ever had a chance to learn better, that doesn’t make this not a horrible thing to do, or not traumatising for Tavros.

BRIGHT: The clothing could potentially be down to Vriska wanting to look ‘adult’ without fully understanding why it looks adult. That does come up sometimes with teens — they want to experiment with clothing because that’s how adults dress, not because they want to look sexy, or they might dress a certain way for dates because that’s the social model they have for How Dates Work.

And if I read it like that, this basically looks like Vriska having the date equivalent of a dolls’ tea party. Which says volumes about how she views Tavros’s autonomy.

CHEL: Good point. Though honestly it would say volumes about same either way!

BRIGHT: I said earlier that Vriska is better than Equius at recognising when other people’s desires conflict with hers, and she is, but that doesn’t mean she respects those differences. She just recognises that they’re there, and overrides them. This is a prime example of Vriska viewing Tavros as something between a chew-toy and a prop. First she kicks him around and terrifies him, then she expects him to be able to get over those emotions at the drop of a hat and respond to her advances — and, moreover, she wants him to respond in a certain way, which Tavros has zero way of knowing. This is the first time she’s shown that sort of interest in him, unless her earlier behaviour was the Alternian equivalent of pigtail-pulling.

...I think maybe that was in fact Alternian pigtail-pulling. Or at least Vriska’s version of pigtail-pulling.

CHEL: That’ll actually make more sense, once we explain what the spade symbol means.

Okay, how many counts does this cover?

ALL THE LUCK: 12 ARE YOU TRYING TO BE FUNNY?: 31 CALL CPA PLEASE: 26 CLOCKWORK PROBLEMATYKKS: 55 IN HATE WITH MY CREATION: 13

It also occurred to me during this sequence to think again about how Karkat contemptuously swears at and hangs up the phone on the injured Tavros. This, at first glance, seems to be very much at odds with the “cranky but caring” impression we’re supposed to have of Karkat… but it fits precisely with Hussie’s opinion of Tavros and how pathetic he is for allowing a much more powerful person to permanently disable him. I know at the moment it looks like I’m not separating the character from the author, but it’ll become clear as we go that that is what he thinks.

IN HATE WITH MY CREATION: 14

Why didn’t we start a FUCK YOU, HUSSIE count?

BRIGHT: It would have ended up longer than all the other counts combined.

CHEL: The actual assault is over now, but there’s one more picture of it. The ramifications must continue to be discussed, so tread cautiously. The actual act is over now, though.

Said ramifications come pretty quickly. Kanaya, having dealt with getting herself into the game and prototyped her own lususprite, decides to check on Vriska.

Ideally she has not gotten herself into too much trouble. And ideally the dramatic irony has not gotten so thick you could draw a dotted line on it with a tube of lipstick and cut it in half with a chainsaw.

Of course, she sees the exact moment Vriska kisses Tavros.

(Fanart source has now been deleted, sadly.)

~*THE ASSAULT ENDS HERE*~

Humorous art aside over, let’s watch Kanaya’s reaction in more detail. She angrily looks at a copy of the Tinkerbell dress, which she presumably sent the alchemiter code for rather than the actual item to Vriska, hence why she still has it.

So THAT'S why she had you make this dress for her??? And you just went along with it like a sucker. Argh, you are such an IDIOT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Like Karkat, Kanaya is presented as the caring one, the protective one. The “mom friend” of the group. And yet, she looks at this, in which Tavros is clearly frightened and struggling, and her reaction is to be mad that Vriska didn’t want to wear the dress for a date with her. I’m not sure whether this says more about Hussie’s opinion of Tavros or the social system of Alternia or both, but it certainly says a lot.

CLOCKWORK PROBLEMATYKKS: 56 HURRY UP AND DO NOTHING: 13 IN HATE WITH MY CREATION: 15

BRIGHT: Kanaya has had to corral Vriska on Tavros’s behalf already! Possibly more than once! She has all the information to realise that this is abusive, even leaving aside Tavros’s reaction! Sure, teens can be self-centred, but even so this is egregious.

CHEL: Kanaya’s Grubsprite comforts her and she throws the dress out the window.

Being a kid and growing up. It's hard and nobody understands.

Yes, I’m sure Tavros thinks so too.

Charles: "I know Sir can be prickly, but you have to understand he had a very terrible childhood."

Klaus: "I understand. I'm having a very terrible childhood right now."

-A Series of Unfortunate Events

#homestuck #homestuck review #homestuck meta #homestuck reread #let's read homestuck #Homespork

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orangeoctopi7 · 5 years ago

Text

Stupid Teen Emotions

@forduary Week three is travel/trapped. In this story, Stan and Ford TRAVEL back to the past, where they become TRAPPED! It fits!

Chapter 1: Back in My Day

They didn’t sleep well, that first night. Ford stayed up late, because of course he would have stayed up into the wee hours of the night working on his perpetual motion machine in the original timeline. But he barely touched the project. With the knowledge he had now, he could probably build the whole thing tonight, but that would, of course, be changing the timeline. A younger Ford had learned a lot, working so hard and so long on this machine, and future Ford didn’t want to deprive his past self of that important lesson. So instead, he began writing, racking his brain for anything he could remember of January, 1969.

Stan tried to sleep at first, but he just couldn't. He was too anxious and excited, all rolled into one. So he instead dug out a few of his old comic books that never got thrown away.

They both must have fallen asleep at some point, because come morning, there was a rapping at the door that woke them both with a start.

“Get up, you two! You’re gonna be late for school!” A woman with a thick Jersey accent yelled through the door.

“M-mom?” Ford’s head lifted blearily off his desk.

“Wow, you are really taking the whole ‘stick to the timeline’ thing seriously.” Stan mused from his bottom bunk.

“I didn’t mean to fall asleep at my desk…” Ford groaned.

“You never do, Sixer, you never do.”

They marched downstairs and into the kitchen, where their mother had a breakfast of hot cinnamon and apple oatmeal waiting for them. Stan was so happy to see her, he ran over and hugged her, pecking a swift kiss on her cheek.

"Aww, sweetie!" She planted a kiss on his forehead. "I'm still not paying your parking ticket." She added flatly.

"What parking ticket?" Stan asked, confused. "Oh, um, I mean, drat."

Ford was too tired to even work up the energy to be happy to see his mother. As he sat down, he automatically reached for the coffee pot. But a rolled up newspaper smacked his hand away.

“What d’you think you’re doin’?” Caryn asked, eyebrow raised.

“... getting my morning coffee?” Ford answered, addled.

“How many times do I have to tell you, honey? No coffee ‘til you’re 18. It’ll stunt your growth!”

Ford looked like he was about to have a fit.

“Wait, are we not 18?” Stan asked quickly. Luckily, his parents ignored his out-of-place comment.

“Ya don’t need coffee, ya need more sleep!” Filbrick grunted from behind his newspaper.

“You both drink ten cups a day!” Ford argued, his voice cracking again.

“That’s cuz we’re adults.” Filbrick growled, “Once you’re old an’ decrepit, you can drink all the coffee ya want.”

“Trust me, he will.” Stan said flatly.

Ford kicked him under the table. Hard. Stan cried out.

“Can it, you two!” Caryn scolded them, “You’ll wake up Shermie. I don’t wanna have to deal with three crying babies.”

The brothers finished their breakfast sullenly but quietly, and grabbed their backpacks before heading out the door.

“Think we should leave Shermie a note warning him to watch out for time travelers?” Stan asked as he fished out his keys to the STNLYMBL. “Y’know, for when he’s older?”

“Then Dipper and Mabel will be born later than 2000.” Ford reminded him irritably.

“Right.” Stan smacked himself. “Man, this sucks! Why time travel if we can’t make things better?”

Ford’s only reply was a surly sigh as he turned to the cafe next door.

“Hey, where’re you goin’?” Stan asked.

“To get some coffee!”

“Seriously, Sixer? Hot Belgian Waffles is next door, Mrs. DuBios will rat you out to Ma for sure!”

Ford heaved an even more enraged sigh that bordered on a growl, and turned on his heal to get into Stan’s car, slamming the door shut.

“Whoa, easy, we’ll just stop by the donut place on the boardwalk.” Stan reassured him as he started the car. “What’s gotten into you?”

The scientist groaned and pulled his fingers through his curly brown hair. “I don’t know! Normally it’s simple to just focus on my intellect and control my emotions, but it just isn’t working now for some reason!”

“‘Control’ your emotions, or bottle them up?” Stan muttered. Ford shot him a withering glare. “Shoot, I wasn’t supposed to say that out loud. Why do I keep doin’ that?”

“And the only reason I’m so mad in the first place is because I’m so tired!” Ford continued to rant, “I got at least four hours of sleep last night, it doesn’t make any sense!”

“Heh, guess teen Ford isn’t used to old man Ford’s space-sleep schedule. Or lack of sleep schedule, anyway.”

Ford’s face brightened into his ‘a-ha!’ expression. “Stanley, that’s it!”

“What?”

“The reason I’m having such a hard time regulating my emotions, and the reason you can’t keep your mouth shut even more than usual! We may still have our minds from 2013, but our bodies are teenagers in the middle of puberty. Our hormone levels are magnitudes higher than what we’ve become accustomed to.”

“Great. Goin’ through puberty again. Just what everyone wants outta time travel.”

They pulled up to the donut shop on the boardwalk. Stan poked around in his seat and found a quarter, which he handed to Ford. Suddenly, his brother looked unsure.

“Stan, maybe you should hang onto this. You’re going to need all the money you can get, come summer.”

“It’s a freaking quarter, Poindexter.”

“Yeah, but a quarter is worth a lot more in 1969 than it will be in 2013! This is almost a whole gallon of gas!”

Stan pinched the bridge of his nose. “Ten minutes ago you were about to have a meltdown because you couldn't get your morning coffee, just buy it, Ford!”

“Fine, but I’ll pay for it myself.”

“With what money, genius? You didn’t have a job in high school because you were too busy with your academic science nerd stuff! Now go buy yourself a cup of coffee, or I’ll make you walk the rest of the way to school.”

Ford frowned, but took the quarter. He couldn’t help but feel guilty as he got his cup of coffee. How could he or anyone else have ever said that Stan was the lazy one, when Stan was the only one who’d ever had a ‘real’ job? Even to this day, Ford had never had what anyone would call a normal job, barring that one summer he’d been a lifeguard at a waterpark in a dolphin-dominant dimension. He’d always relied on scholarships and grants and accademia, which was hard work, in its own way, but still. It certainly wasn’t what his father would have called a real job. While traveling across dimensions, he’d relied on trading information and knowledge, building and selling inventions, and even, occasionally, stealing.

Stan was the one who’d gotten a minimum wage, part-time job selling popsicles on the beach. Stan was the one who’d entered local semi-pro boxing matches and brought home winnings. Stan was the one who’d saved up for his own car.

“Ar-are you crying!?” Stan exclaimed when Ford climbed back into the car, cup of coffee in hand. Ford reached up to wipe his eyes, surprised as his brother to find tears there.

“Oh geez, Stanford, I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to be so harsh, I just--” Stan began to babble.

“N-no, it’s not you.” Ford found his voice wavering as soon as he tried to speak. “It’s just-- gah, I’m so stupid! Stupid hormonal chemical imbalance!”

Ford tried to keep himself from crying anymore by taking a big gulp of coffee. It wasn’t very good, and it was just this side of warm, but it instantly improved his mood.

“Ah, there’s that good dopamine.”

“Better?”

“Much. Let’s go. I think we’re already late.”

Despite the fact that they were ten minutes late, there were still several students milling about when they arrived at the school. The twins felt like they should stick out like a sore thumb, but nobody paid them any mind.

“Ugh, never thought I’d come back here.” Stan grumbled.

“Well, look on the bright side!” Ford reassured him, “Now that you’ve studied quantum physics and run your own business for thirty years, Math and Science classes should be a breeze!”

“Hey, yeah! I can’t wait to see the look on Mr. Grauberger’s face when I can tell him exactly how much interest $300 will accumulate over 20 years!” But he paused. “Wait, what about changin’ the timeline? Pretty sure I never answered questions in class.”

“Oh, it wouldn’t make that much of a difference.” Ford scoffed. “Even if you get 100% on every quiz while we’re here, I don’t think it’d be enough to bring your grade up past a C, and you’ll be dropping out before graduation anyway.”

“Oh yeah….” Stan’s good mood quickly washed away.

Ford rested a comforting hand on his shoulder. “We know it all works out in the end.”

“Yeah…” Stan agreed, “but there was still a lot of heartache gettin’ there.”

#Gravity Falls #Fanfiction #Forduary 2020 #Stanford PInes #Stanley Pines #My Writing

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itsanerdlife · 5 years ago

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It’s Complicated 5/25

Pairing: Clint Barton x Fisk Niece!Reader

A/N: Reader is Wilson Fisk’s Niece. I’m tired of the same old villains so keep your eyes peeled for who just might be the one lurking in the dark.

Warning: This is very match and lighter fluid type of burn. Feels of abandonment. Talks of Psychopaths. Overprotective male. Lies. Secrets. Language. Kidnapping. Violence. I think that’s about it.

Sometimes in life there are just certain people worth breaking the rules for. No matter the hell that may rain down. Is it possible to fall in love with someone in just a matter of one conversation? To be utterly and completely obsessed with someone in a matter of weeks? But what if they aren’t who you think they are? What if one day the person you love, they just disappear? Learning to live again is a bitch. Specially just when you think you’re doing fine, he shows up on your doorstep. Wanting to explain his secrets. But now you’ve got your own secrets but do you really ever just get over that type of love? Can you really just move on and pretend it never happened? Even when you’re carrying around proof inside you?

Tag List Is Open

Three Weeks Together

He steps into her apartment, when the door closes, popcorn jumps in her lap as she lets out a yelp of surprise. Her hand lands on her chest, trying to catch her breathe.

“What the hell are you watching?” He laughs, joining her on the couch.

“It’s called Stalked.” She pants softly.

“I’m going to assume it’s about stalking?” He smirks.

“We’re doing a case study, on a man who went from peeping Tom, to stalker, to killer.” She smirks at him. “I’m trying to get an understanding of stalking.” She nods, pushing popcorn into her mouth.

“By scaring the hell out of yourself?” He laughs.

“I’ve never been stalked.” She shrugs. “So I guess I’m trying to get a understanding of why people get stalked and why people stalk others.” She nods.

“Never been stalked, huh?” He nods.

“I like to be the crazy in the relationship I guess.” She shrugs, eyes glued to the TV screen. He smirks, keeping his lips sealed. What she didn’t know was for best, at least for now. He didn’t stalk, he just had Stark pull everything he could find on her. Big difference. Right?

“How was work?” He asks, reaching into the bowl in her lap.

“Good. Oh, MJ met a guy.” She speaks around the popcorn in her mouth.

“Really?” He lifts a brow.

“Yeah, in her science class. Peter, something.” She waves her hand. He stops chewing, fear licked his veins suddenly.

“Peter?” He wonders keeping his voice level.

“Yeah, never met him. Guess he’s one of those, nerdy, awkward ones.” She shrugs.

“Huh.” Clint smirks. “There’s more than one of you?” He laughs.

“Apparently so. Who knew?” She smirks at him. “How was work for you?” She leans over, kissing him quickly.

“Fine. Just another day.” He nods.

“You don’t talk about your job much.” She glances over at him.

“It’s complicated.” He admits.

“Because you work for the government?” She wonders.

“Pretty much.” He nods.

“You’re not like married with three kids and a dog, right?” She looks over at him. Her hand pauses inches from her mouth.

“Are you asking me if I am living a double life?” He smirks.

“Pretty much, yeah.” She nods.

“I’m not married, no kids, and I don’t have a dog.” He laughs.

“So you’re not working some secret case, bedding me for fun, till it’s over, till you catch your criminal?” She laughs. He swallows. Wow did she hit that on the fucking head. “You’re not going to just disappear one day and go back to your real family and forget little old me?” She rolls her eyes, smiling.

“Forget you?” He laughs, his hand slips up her back, stopping at the back of her neck. He pulls her towards him softly. Kissing her. “Couldn’t do that if I lived a thousand lives.” He smirks.

“Okay.” She nods, going back to her show. “Want to order pizza and laugh while I scare myself with this show?” She smiles at him.

“I couldn’t think of anything better.” He smiles.

Guilt settled into the pit of his stomach, so trusting, so naive and blind. In three simple weeks, he was already so head over heels in love with her. She stained his soul, ruined him for anyone else, she was so entangled with his soul he didn’t care his job was at stake. He clears his throat, focusing on her again.

“What makes someone stalk a person?” He asks.

“Mental instability. Chemical imbalance. Personality disorder. Obsession.” She shrugs, pushing popcorn into her mouth.

“I’d stalk you.” He nods, popping popcorn into his mouth.

“Really?” She looks over at him a smirk on her lips.

“Oh yeah.” He nods.

“Can I scan your brain?” She grins.

“Sure.�� He shrugs, pulling his phone out. “Same thing we got last time?” He asks, looking at her.

“Yes, please.” She nods, focusing on the TV.

It’s getting to a build up moment, she leans in a little, so caught up he was sure she hadn’t noticed she moved. He smiles, ordering pizza for them. He sets his phone down on the arm of the couch, settling in to watch her. His favorite pass time, watching her get nerdy as hell about the things she loves.

He knew he had no right to touch her, to crave her like air, but he did both. It was against the rules and he knew it would be hell to pay. She leans into him, curling up to the side of him. He puts a finger under her chin, tipping her head back. When he put his mouth on hers, he was already addicted to the taste of her. As if she’d been made just for him, he had the agonizing urge to ruin her for anyone else. The same way she’d ruined him. He wanted to be all she ever wanted, needed, craved.

“I’m falling in love with you.” She admits softly.

“I’m already in love with you.” He smiles softly, kissing her again. Falling in love with her, was like being sucked into the eye of a storm. All hell was going to break lose soon.

---------------------

Everything Peaches 2/6/19: @xmtd5 @mo320 @all1e23 @courtmr @avxgers @eliza-kat @izzy--lee @irepeldirt @dumblani @crist1216 @a--1--1--3 @alyssaj23 @allyp1023 @joannie95 @nishanki1 @bugalouie @kolakube9 @rileyloves5 @sarahp879 @sea040561 @sexyvixen7 @pcterpvrker @pigwidgexn @doctoranon @tomhardy41 @abschaffer2 @justrae9903 @bookluver01 @teller258316 @callie-bear15 @nickimarie94 @wandressfox @amandab-ftw @carostar2020 @henrietteoaks @nea90sweetie @circusofchaos @itsagalaxystar @bettercallsabs @miraclesoflove @lucifersnipnips @queenkrissy11 @this-is-mycrisis @sadyoungadult @destiel-artemis @xrosegoldwolfx @paintballkid711 @isabelcrichards @iwillbeinmynest @sweet-honey15 @chanelmadrid13 @mellxander1993 @killerbumblebee @spookygrantaire @geeksareunique @supernatural508 @sammysgirl1997 @itzmegaaaaaaan @booksbeforebois @optimistic-babes @childishhoebinoo @elizabethaellison @aspiringtranslator @mariekoukie6661 @pure-princess-97 @capsheadquaters @samanthasmileys @nerdypinupcrystal @atlas-of-the-world @youclickedthislink @futuremrsb-r-main @lovemarvelousfics @notyourtypicalrose @petersunderoos96 @loving-life-my-way @buckystolemyheart @booktvmoviefangirl @supernatural-girl97 @thefridgeismybestie @dumbbitchenergytm @abbypalmer14-blog @fanfictionjunkie1112 @meganlikesfandoms @awkwardfangirl2014 @supernaturaldean67 @xqueenofthecraziesx @queenoftheunderdark @writingaworldofmyown @supernaturallover2002 @daughterofthenight117 @mustbeaweasleyginger @mcuwillbethedeathofme @sprinklesandsugarcubes @whothehellisbucky-1930 @verymuchclosetedfangirl @for-the-love-of-the-fandom @ocaptain-mycaptainmorgan @wonderlandfandomkingdom @crazy-little-thing-called-buck @letsgetfuckingsuperwholocked @stupendoussciencenaturepanda @jamesbarnesappreciationsociety @supernatural-strangerthings-1980

Marvel Tag List 2/6/19: @lumelgy @dottirose @jcc04220 @rockagurl @mizzzpink @jade-taillia @coley0823 @widowsfics @bookluver01 @thelostallycat @shield-agent78 @dtftheavengers @ilovetvshowsblog @capsheadquaters @iamwarrenspeace @thefridgeismybestie @whenallsaidanddone @deanwinchestersrifle @fandomsstolemylife00 @daughterofthenight117 @lilmissperfectlyimperfect

Clint ‘Destory Me, I’ll Thank You’ Barton: @ml7010 @coley0823 @yavanna80 @lakamaa12 @boltsgirl919 @feelmyroarrrr @mrsseizetheday @honey-bee-holly @marvelfansworld @mybarnesmyhero @the-real-mary-jane @dumbbitchenergytm @agentsinstorybrooke @x-whyareyoureadingthis-x @jaqui-has-a-conspiracy-theory

It's Complicated: @capandbuckylvr @optimistic-babes @jennmurawski13 @marvelfansworld @bradfordbantams @natromanoffsboys @thosesexytexasboys @thebitchiestnerdtowalktheearth

#Marvel #Clint Barton x Reader #Avengers #Clint x Reader #It's Complicated #Marvel Fanfiction #Clint Barton Series #Avengers Fanfiction #Hawkeye Series

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modern-oedipus · 5 years ago

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Rant I think

I have to keep remind myself that even though the person I love the most in the world is suffering and is not likely to stop suffering for the rest of his life, it is not entirely my fault and me blaming and punishing myself or thinking about just destroying myself won’t bring them further happiness and I must not take my own happiness away by my own hands... or should I?

I always feel guilty enjoying my life when my dad’s so stressed, but I can’t ever change him to open up no matter what I do; and he always works hard & says I should just enjoy myself and live my life & provides me with all good for that, but then whenever I see him being so upset— for years— and whenever I just... I don’t know. I literally went suicidal because of guilt of existing and being a burden back then, even though he explictly states that it’s his own choice to have kids, that he loves me, that he’s proud of me, that I mean the world to him, etc, and he proved his words thousands of times, but-

But he doesn’t seem to understand I care about him as much as he cares about me.

And I feel so guilty living my life and being happy when he is not.

But I can’t make him happy ornsolve his problems— those are real adult stuff that’s beyond my power.

But when I live my life and enjoy it I feel like I’m being ignorant and I feel so guilty.

When I punish myself for that— emotionally and literally, I end up depressed and not good. And that’s dangerous. Depression is so dangerous especially in such a young age that I am in, so god forbid that-

I don’t know what to do, honestly. I feel so guilty enjoying myself and I feel downright shitty if I don’t enjoy myself. Nothing solves the problem.

The regret and fear is always eating me alive.

Even though there is nothing I can do.

It hs been like this from as long as I can remember my life.

I just want him to be happy, well-rested, and at peace. He wants same for me.

We never get both in once. Bwcause he’s always the one who gives. Always so self sacrificing. I used to think my dad is absolutely perfect but I think that’s very damgerous to give too muxh of yourself even if it’s... family. I’m... grateful of course... how can I not... but then I feel like a parazyte or something....... and I wouldn’t exchange his well being for anything else......... and yet.... I.... uh... my head’s gonna burst. I am just typing because I pushed this thought away so many times in these last days and if I pushed it away again it’d lead a really bad breakdown. I need to avoid that so I need to speak. Not to anyone particularly. Maybe I should seek a therapist. But still. Only place I can apply due outside conditions would he that in myncollege and I don’t think there’s place there. But still. I can’t afford another depression in the years that should be the most fun so I’ll have to keep my mental heath in check no matter what. So I guess it’s better to just write it out— maybe not scientifically most suggested or verified theory but I can’t expect things to be perfect to start working on them.

So yeah.

Basically.

I am so full of love and life and joy nowadays.

But I also feel so undeserving for all or them.

Sometimes I feel smart and beautiful and productive and loved. Mostly.

Then I feel guilty for itntoo, even though I worked so hard for all of them— I worked so hard to understand all scientific shit, not only textbook wise but actual effort to adapt to scientific thinking. I worked hard in gym to get the body I want and I paid attention to my appearance and manners and culture, yet I still feel undeservjngn of beauty aometimes. I overcame social anxiety years ago and every friendship & communication I make successfully are big amazing achievements that may come naturally to extroverts but to me they took hard work. Sometimes, mostly, I’m like, “Wow Nila, well done! Amazing!” Then other times I’m like “Do you even?? Deserve your food?? Or your life??????? Do you even?? Deserve a warm bed when there are homeless people?? Do you even??? Deserve all these friends????? When you’re just?? You??? Do you even deserve enjoying your life when your parents are being quite exhausted and upset to provide for your spoiled rich kid life????” and...... like... this got me in serious depression before which onlynupsetted them further and they couldnt understand what was wrong woth me because they “gave me all”, emotionally and financially. They just couldnt ser that I felt like a parayste that’s sucking life out of them, as if Imm killing them by my own hands, andnidk.

Maybe I’m being too dramatic. Maybe that’s not the case. My parents strictly say they’re proud, that zi’m loved, that itms theirnown decision and not mine, etc., etc. I have no dark past, a clean family with no sad stuff or abuse or anything, and honestly, I don’y know.

I just want to see them happy and at peace too. Thst’s only way I can feel content. But I can’t change them. I can’t control a big majority of the spendings I have. I don’t know shat to fo. Thjs has been a problem for so many years. Itms not sth that appeared yesterday. Sometimes I can ignore. But then the feeling comes back like a ghost. That I’m undeserving. That I must be ashamed for enjoying myself.

I want to tell that it’s a lie, that it’s just a depressed thought and as a scientist I can’t trust a brain in clinical depression cause that’s chemical imbalance. That’s literally what keeps me sane, knowing that depression is a medical condition and any depression triggering thoughts are NOT REAL snd they’re just some medical imbalance of hormones and transmitters so I am just fine.

I’m not depressed, not really, I still feel excited and hupe and happy today. But this thought lingers. I couldn’tbhave afforded to push this thought away for the fifth time in last two days otherwise it’d break me. So I’f rather write it.

I keep telling myself that I am truly deserving to live and enjoy live.

I seriously had to rmeind myself two days ago like “just because you got a bad grade does not validate you starving yourself, you are deserving to eat rven when you are not doing well” tben I did buy myself my healthy food and ate it but...

Can I even... prove that I’m worth it??

Scientificaly??

I know for a fact rhat me trying is a good reason. Me working hard is a good reason. But not an enough reason. I need to be productive. I need to make myself happy. I need to make people I love happy. I neef to bring smiles to faces people I love— I need to get accepted to that project so I can perform researches when I’m off school so I can design drugs and save people so that my life and existence can be allowed and appreciated. I need to write fanfics and news and produce creative content to let my heart out and share joy with friends so we feel happy and alive and connected so it has a meaning. I need to save street animals so I actually have a meaning living my life.

Am I really deserving????

I am, I say myself, but then a voice whispers, but... are you sure?

I again say yes, I’m sure.

So far, I’m surs.

A little hesitant, but tjat must be some invalid creeping thoughtrather than a feality. Sveryone is deservijg of a happy joyful life so why not me??? I’d never say someone is undeserving of happiness unless that someone had an inexcusable crime like murder or something; and since that doesnt really happen in real life i’d sAy yes we all are deserving but...

I dkn’t know.

Maybe I should talk to someoen instead of mindlessly typing.

A therapist sounds nice but not too affordable. I’ll still try on Monday— wait no I hVe a midterm. Tuesday. I’ll try. If it’s not abailable maybe I can try some online therapy which is more convenient. I don’t know. Imm still feeling alive an happy and not detachef which is good but I don’t want this feeling to lead anywhere bigger, if it makes sensez

I just keep reminding myself that I am worth safety and love and joy as much as everyone else is

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dropintomanga · 5 years ago

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The Potential Dangers of Diagnosing Characters

For as long as I’ve thought about how much anime/manga characters have helped my mental health, I wonder what does it means to talk about said characters in a way that helps someone else’s mental health improve.

With a lot of growing acceptance around mental health in the past few years, there’s something that bothers me a bit and I realize it’s something that we have to be careful of as well.

DC Comics published a limited series from September 2018-May 2019 called Heroes in Crisis, which focused on its universe of heroes dealing with mental health issues (mostly PTSD) in a hospice known as the Sanctuary. A psycholoanalyst was hired to come up with fictional diagnoses for some of the heroes. Batman, Superman, Wonder Woman all had various mental disorders listed on their profiles from major depression to adjustment disorder.

Initially, this shook a clinical psychology who uses superheroes as a part of her therapy as she felt that we can’t label someone with a mental health disorder just because they show symptoms of it. Dr. Janina Scarlet, the creator of Superhero Therapy, criticized the diagnoses.

From her post at Psychology Today:

“Perspective taking can actually help foster empathy building and compassion toward others. However, diagnosing characters or people whom therapists have not evaluated in a session can be risky.

Sure, some fictional characters, such as Storm from the X-Men, are known to struggle from certain disorders (e.g., claustrophobia, fear of tight spaces). On the other hand, other characters, such as Batman, who experienced traumatic events (i.e., loss of his parents) do not necessarily meet the criteria for a mental health disorder. Sure, Batman may display and exhibit certain symptoms, which can be found across certain disorders, including PTSD and depression disorders.

However, for someone to be diagnosed with a disorder, they have to meet the required criteria of symptoms over a set amount of time AND these symptoms need to be dysfunctional enough to warrant a mental health diagnosis (i.e., these symptoms get in the way of the individual's functions, such as work, school, social, etc.).

DC Comics recently hired a mental health professional to psychoanalyze popular comic-book characters, such as Batman, Superman, Harley Quinn, and others. Personally and professionally, I believe that providing mental health education using fictional characters can be extremely helpful in assisting people in understanding mental health and recovery.

HOWEVER, such education practices must be handled delicately and appropriately. In diagnosing characters with mental illness without an explanation, without evidence, and in such a blasé format grossly misrepresents mental health and poses a threat to further pathologize mental health for those who actually struggle with these disorders in real life.”

I’m not a mental health professional and here I am, talking about fictional characters with possible trauma and mental health issues. No worries, right? That’s when I remembered something I wrote a long while ago.

8 years ago, I wrote my first post about Yotsuba&! Let’s just say it wasn’t a really great one in hindsight. I hinted that Yotsuba Koiwai had ADHD. The language I wrote in that post suggested she totally had ADHD and Kiyohiko Azuma did this on purpose. I didn’t provide any hard evidence that this was the case. A reader left a comment saying that I had a misinformed opinion about her. They were right. To this day, I felt that what I wrote about Yotsuba at the time was a horrible attempt at playing doctor.

I insulted kids with ADHD issues by comparing them to a fictional child who’s just very hyperactive in general. It was ignorant of me to do so and I’m really sorry about it.

To say a fictional character has mental illness with no solid proof really hurts someone who has mental illness. It gives off the impression that everyone with that mental illness is similar to one another when that’s far from the truth. You only get a part of the story that only serves the person sharing it. There’s always the possibility that there’s more to the story than just mental illness.

All views have to be considered. Giving some sort of unofficial diagnosis doesn’t allow multiple perspectives. I’m sure there are people who watched movies and saw poor representations of mental illness on screen and then go, “Wow, is that what it’s really like? That’s all I need to know right there!” Next thing you know, they say something very insensitive towards a person with mental illness due to media influence.

Around late last year, I went to an Attack on Titan trivia night event. I had a great time as I met some fun people to talk to. So I was talking about what I do on my blog with a person at the event and we were discussing Eren Jeager’s demeanor as of the events that happened in Attack on Titan Volume 27. This person said something that made me irk a bit.

“I know. Eren’s so bipolar!”

I was coming off the heels of taking Mental Health First Aid training and felt that response maybe wasn’t the best thing to be said. Eren’s totally NOT bipolar, but I get why the person said it. It feels a bit too natural to say some things in a cozy way when we have no education about them. Psychology is also a field that’s filled with a lot of pop science and BS. I don’t think shaming those people solves anything.

I wanted to talk about the whole “diagnosing characters” for a while now because there’s various geek psychology outlets that talk about the mindset/trauma behind fictional characters. Even psychologists that aren’t geeks try their hands at diagnosing characters for fun. Yet after a year where I learn more about mental illness vs. mental health and how much pain families of those with serious mental illness are in, am I running around preaching pseudoscience?

I ask this because I’ve spoken to a few readers of my blog who have asked me for help for their inner trauma. I worry that I’ve given off the wrong impression that I’m a licensed professional. It’s unfortunately easy to pass off as an expert thanks to the internet’s ability to allow someone to come up with enough fluff to become popular.

But at the very least, I will admit that I’m not one. I’m also not ashamed to admit that I may be wrong and don’t know everything. I keep learning every moment about what’s out there. Just like I keep my eyes open about all kinds of manga series and their various characters that become a part of our lives in meaningful ways.

Fiction of all kinds (from classic literature to manga) touches many lives. We can’t help but compare characters to ourselves and others. Just don’t generalize your/their situations with everyone else because each and every one of us are unique and complicated. Don’t develop a sense of survivorship bias. Life may or may not be as messy as you might think. Be careful about spreading mental health myths (i.e. chemical imbalance causes depression). Ask yourself if what you hear is valid and whether that information is truthful enough to be worth hearing.

I’m still going to keep talking about manga characters and their life situations not because it’s “fun.” It’s something that helped me realize important things over time. If there’s one thing I learned from reading shonen manga all these years, it’s that you learn and grow in order to potentially help protect a group of people in need one day. To me, that group is a community of individuals who have mild-to-serious mental health issues.

I will be responsible though as fiction isn’t reality. Another shonen principle is to not categorize those who are considered losers, but are just people like us trying to find their way.

After all, in the real world and fictional world, we can strive to never be completely defined by our labels and diagnoses when faced with danger.

#mental health #fandom #manga #anime #mental health representation #diagnosis #psychology of characters #psychology of fiction

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domesticangel · 6 years ago

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honestly drawing with ADHD be like

1) sit down and intend to draw but don't even actually start drawing til like an hour later cause you made the mistake of “checking Facebook real quick” and are now somehow 5 videos deep on youtube

2) open blank canvas

3) no nvm i wanna work on this wip

4) ok wait yeah no i wanna start a new drawing

5) look for references for what you wanna draw but end up down some google images rabbit hole looking at pictures that aren't even of what you need a reference of

6) finally land on a suitable reference and start sketching

7) wait i need music. or something to listen to in the background

8) spend way too long browsing netflix for a good show to put on in the background because it needs to be interesting enough that you can listen to it out of the corner of your ear but not so interesting you end up just sitting there watching it with a blank canvas open in front of you

9) or try to look for an interesting talk-heavy video playlist on youtube like lets plays or podcasts but end up watching an entire 20 minute long video posted in 2016 titled something like “vines that fixed the chemical imbalances in my brain” instead

10) OR find some good music to listen to but you either spend 10 minutes skipping everything because it doesn't fit ur mood or you decide you need to make a special playlist for how youre feeling at this moment in time and spend like an hour cultivating the perfect playlist

11) ok NOW youre ready to draw.

12) i can't remember why these lines are here so I'm just gonna erase everything and start over

13) [draws like one body part] woah i need to take a break. [draws another body part] i need to get up and walk around, maybe make some coffee. [draws another body p

14) sketch is, against all odds, finished

15) [makes very first line of final lineart] WOW this is all too much

16) [takes 30 minute break comprised of various activities]

17) start back on lineart and either tab out of ur drawing program to check Facebook or watch a youtube video after every line you draw or enter the focus zone™️ and draw uninterrupted, face inches from the screen, for like 2 hours straight, ignoring everything from the pain in your wrist and back to the fact that you have had to pee since you sat down

18) drawing is either finished and you immediately black out upon saving it or you save the WIP only to never revisit it again

19) wow that was SO tiring I'm not drawing again for another 800 years

20) [45 minutes later] .....i feel like drawin sumn

#at least in my experience #its a wild ride but we git r done eventually #txt

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psychedelictrashpanda · 3 years ago

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It’s been awhile, weird old blog with unspecified direction. How about more of me me me?

I finally did DMT again, and WOW. It’s been at least a full decade since the last time. I still didn’t quite “break through” enough to “meet the entities” again but mein GOTT was it healing. Speaking of God, we’ll get to that soon... But before smoking the dimitri, I was beginning to sustain a mania in slow motion with dissociatives again. Not to any extreme like I did with PCP long ago (btw, glancing at my Eyehategod poster, I realize that horror/metal fest when I was blasted on PCP the entire time was all the way back in 2013! It seems to much more recent, but the way these drugs interact with memory is very peculiar. or maybe it was the traumatizing effect of it and other things at the time that makes me block out and thus distort the time signature of the memory... I digress). And I don’t have the destructive tendencies I did in the past anyway, so I’ve never been apt to push it as far as I was when I was shooting up 3-meo-pcp and blacking out for days at a time. I mean, I did push it I suppose. For the main George Floyd protests I was loading up on a combination of things. Can’t even remember if that was my sober window between methadone detox and the suboxone I’m on now. But, I was combining bits of weird PCP offshoots with opiate offshoots (4-map iirc) and/or kratom with maybe a drop of benzo... straddling the line between going overboard and a “party dose” for lack of a better descriptor; between recreation and desperation. In retrospect, I was summoning the courage to act like my old self used to in these sorts of situations. That is, giving it my all, being novel about it, idk, summoning the spirit of Dr Gonzo I suppose (who, after reading his two books, was more slimey of a jerk than he’s presented in Hunter’s stories. well, I need to finish the Cockroach People book, he started getting into his attraction to underage girls as a young 20-something man himself and ugh, gross). My true wild & adventurous spirit has been hampered, weighed down with anxiety and depression and all manner of undiagnosed mental illness. Who knows if it’s more the drugs or the environmental factors that trigger drug use, but the spirit is tortured like Griffith in the torture dungeon, the heart is wrapped in a black grime guarded by the Beast of Darkness, the will is subordinated to authoritarian capitalist hegemony...

Where was I? Oh so I started suboxone for the second time in my life innnn... February I want to say. Last time I did it I was able to detox myself simply buying subs off the street, but I did it too quick. That’s been one problem, every time I detox rapidly it’s too harsh a push back into reality and I succumb to relapse less then a year into sobriety. The reason reality is harsh is the same reason my stance on anti depressants has been further cemented. I’ve articulated it better lately... Basically I believe it’s a weird solution to depression to force your chemical makeup into the right position to function properly in the same environment that caused it in the first place. “It is no measure of health to be well adjusted to a profoundly sick society.” One of my conversations with a young college friend really illuminated why many don’t even consider this position. She was insistent there’s no cause of depression, you’re just born with a fucked up mind. Now sure, hereditary disposition is a thing, as a drug addicted child of an addict I should know. But for example she pointed to another friend with hard depression and was like “his life seems fine what explanation could there be?” But I put forth maybe his childhood of having to closet his homosexuality in a hard conservative family that had the possibility of disowning him if they knew about it contributed to that “natural chemical imbalance,” as it’s implied. YES, some people NEED it. But for the most part, it really seems to me to be what I’m gonna call the thyroid phenomenon. That is to say, a medical explanation for a small fraction of severely affected patients is used as a broad brush by the public to diagnose themselves. Forewarning: I am not fat shaming here, forgive the example. Dietary practices are a personal thing so my feelings are stronger as well. Anyway, it seems to me as soon as this thyroid malfunction became a hard biological explanation for obesity beyond the psychological, suddenly everyone was a candidate. It’s fine to think “maybe I have it” but when a growing and significant portion of the obese crowd started screaming they all had thyroid problems and can’t help themselves, when a teensy percentage actually do... well it sort of touches on the “addiction as a disease” narrative that’s never sat well with me. Addicts use the disease reasoning to skirt personal responsibility. I'm not denying it is a disease, but I believe calling it as such in the public discourse isn’t terribly constructive. (Okay, you’re seeing an opinion change in real time here... I changed my mind.) I was vehemently against the narrative, but I need to readjust to simply make people WARY of the narrative. As an addict, I could easily see myself using the excuse of it being a disease as a fatalist function; that is to say giving in, relinquishing personal control over my fate. Hereditary disposition, Rat Park, addiction as a disease... there’s also a severe lack of control it all conjures. Paradoxically, drugs can used to meticulously control your state of mind. I can’t control my desire to control myself?

God where was I going with this... Oh! God! May as well mention I’ve been warming up more and more to the spirit of monotheism beyond it’s structural and institutional dimensions. I could get deep into my recent past of not believing in the idea of a spirit, soul, etc. How the pendulum of my ideology swings between cold rationalism and loose spirituality, especially as I go through phases of rebellion against perceived oppressors. Growing up in a red state with a lot of Christian ideals, society around me was always telling me everything I seemed to like was the work of Satan. Naturally, I started reading into Satanism. I never self identified with occult-esque belief structures, except maybe chaos magick because it’s whole idea is to merge whatever practices work into something of your own, but I did staunchly identify as anti christian. Not a hard thing to do when you’re already a metal head, which definitely fueled the trajectory. Not to mention metal helped goad me into DXM use (thanks Velvet Cacoon ya bunch of goons), the first real psychedelic journeys I had. Because I never gave real consideration to myself having depression, I moulded my personal ideology around the symptoms it causes. Which is why for awhile after coming to terms with depression as a problem I probably have, I was only able to identify it in retrospect. I never felt it in real time because it was so old-coat to me, I adapted to it like an addict adapts to their drug of choice and ti becomes their world. So I would decide to skip social events, let my room get messy, watch only old comfort shows, etc... but only AFTER emerging from that state was I able to immediately look back and think “wait... I was doing all those things because I was depressed.” In the moment, it’s rationalized as “I don’t want to see these people for these reasons” or “I want to watch spongebob because it’s fun and an old favorite.” Rationalization, the concept of the west, serves as a detriment to the individual in a number of manners. This is one. I was a MASTER at rationalizing away my drug use. Statistically, more people die from this this and that, why be worried that I’m on this drug instead? Statistics quelled the perceived danger. It was also a formative tool in my skills of justification. I always felt I had to justify every action I took, but that’s getting back into family matters...

But why not bring that up? it’s a sore spot. I feel like the tables have flipped from my dad always saying “you all just think I’m an asshole!” to me thinking I’m the asshole. It’s too much to get into but I’ll touch on a couple important things... I’ve learned a major source of my anxiety is not being able to draw the boundaries between business and family and myself, because they’re not properly defined. When I’m told by my bossfather after explaining the distress I feel simply thinking about the family company, and he goes typically all-or-nothing when I touch on crucial issue and says “if you want out just tell me you want out”, I can’t separate between whether he’s saying it as a father or as a boss in the moment. He would say, “of course I just mean the company”, but where does company end and family begin? It’s also an intense pressure, maybe shame, simply typing this and thinking in the back of my head about someone who might read and think “what a spoiled brat, has a family company and blah blah.” But who put all that in my head? He says he’s changed from the days of putting immense pressure on me with the sort of sentiments that cause that shit in my head like always telling me how great I have it and all the opportunities, shit, I’m feeling it right now, the frustration and I can’t even identify these emotions. At least I am aware of them, that’s a huge milestone for me. But the only thing that’s changed is he sees me as a the broken mother fucker I am and treats me as such. Sometimes it’s nice, and sincere sympathy, other times his frustration with having to check his language all the time is palpable so it does no good to do so. The immense pressure, the intense urgency, the confusing complexity, all those market pressures haven’t changed. This is evident when we were driving somewhere and I suggested not worrying about the fastest route on the map because one minute isn’t a big deal and he insisted that one minute IS a big deal. Sweating one fucking minute indicates a mountain of reputational pressure. In a way, that one minute is putting business ahead of family, but I feel harsh saying it because as he’s pounded into my head the business is what allows the family to survive. Not to mention why put the crack head of the family above that one minute (not literal crack, but it was obvious as soon as he saw I was “fucking around” on ketamine he decided to not take me as seriously) Still, I’ve made my decision that survival reasoning is fucking bullshit already. He’s the one that wants a mansion and wants enough mailbox money for us not to have to worry ever again, so he’s the one deliberately creating the pressure. Maybe he hasn’t considered how hardened he’s become to those feelings after a lifetime in the street and in prison. I really feel for mom. She’s okay now, but her spirit... It’s part of the reason I can’t relax myself at home. He has always painted her as dead weight in the past, never getting a job, sitting watching TV, but he’s unable to connect the dots psychologically because we’re all layman that part of the reason she’s like that is because her actions have been demonized already so who the fuck she got to prove herself to? Same reason I fell into relapse sometimes. Damned if I do, damned if I don’t sort of deal. The damned if I don’t being the reputation of yourself you have to live with after getting sober. He says “don’t worry about it” but I couldn’t accept that because the reason he doesn’t trust me (never mind respect, that’s even further away) is informed by my past. I can’t complain that he never allowed me to contribute to a crucial decision like choosing the building for the dispensary, talking about whether we want a certain investor or not, etc, is because that’s not something to entrust to a druggie. I’ve always felt he let me play make-believe CEO and gave me an allowance for it, while telling me otherwise. He’d say “this is all for you” but he’s making the decisions that truly move mountains and then putting it on us. Which is why I have a hard time saying “I want out”, he can be a baby about things just as much as I am, and I fear he’d let his entrepreneurial drive be affected by my departure. Sigh, this is already getting to be a headache to think about... He’s tired. I’m tired.

There was also something I wanted to say regarding the role social constructs play in all this, but it’s getting long enough already. Suffice to say I’ve been getting into psychoanalysis lately and it’s scratching the right itch for knowledge and wisdom. I can see why Zizek is enamored with Lacan, and why it’s so important to mix it with Marxism. And not to toot my own horn, but what the hell... There are a lot of lofty ideas I’ve been coming across that are already parallel to ideas I’ve developed through my own life experience, and it makes me think I’m meant for this sort of stuff. If I’m lucky in my pursuits (not to put too much weight on the luck aspect), I’ll be a journalist of some sort. Articles, video essays, whatever. Need to rein in my indecisiveness and dispel FOMO tho.

Back to DMT. But not really. Earlier in the summer I got some straight Ketamine and it was also immensely healing. But it has a great abuse potential, especially for me, so it’s harder to “hang up the phone” after I get the message as TmK would say. It made me feel again, and start to understand what love is. Partly because it conjured all these lost feels I had for Kat. She’s great people though, I think I’d just stress her out too much. Idk. Whatever. My love life is a total mess. Anyway after I ran out I wanted more of course and stumbled on some DCK, a somewhat rare ketamine offshoot. Coupled with my increasing propensity to trip acid more than once a week, they started building on each other. I was happier and happier at home, but at work/fam was getting more and more distressed about my place in that whole show. In his show. Simply thinking about the company, especially after having read that article about procrastination and how much it resonated with me, caused me unnecessary levels of distress. Normally as quickly as I can feel that, my mind will tuck it away and bottle it up somewhere so I can go about my day. The problem with drugs is they cause you to act instead. So he was doing the usual “it’s so easy! you’ll have it made!” and I interrupted with this torrent of shit I’ve been holding back forever, and he would not yield on his “you didn’t let me finish...” Incidentally, has he really never picked up on every time I interrupt I already know what he’s talking about? I said as much, something like “it’s not the labor” and he keeps saying “no you’re not listening” as though a frivolous detail changed the main thrust of the fact he’s always trying to make it easier for me. I wish he could simply let me go off and have the strength to take it a little less seriously, but considering how often I take things personally I shouldn’t be surprised he does to. On top of this, his brother/my uncle was in the hospital for some serious shit. But another reason I picked this time is because I only feel safe even confronting him when non-involved parties are around. He doesn’t care that I don’t feel safe confronting him though, he says “don’t worry about me” so maybe I shouldn’t. I feel like such an asshole about it, but that feeling is conjured by the ideological structure he helped to create. Where does my shame end with him being the causation and start with my personal ideology? How much can a person create their own ideology, truly? It’s about as small a window as free will, I imagine.

SO after feeling awful for going off after having all this stuff build up in my mind, I felt awful and went home to drug up some more. Again, not recklessly to the extent I used to be. But I did a fat line of DCK while on a couple hits of LSD and a smidgen of Zolpidem (a wholly underrated substance). Everything was getting to me all at once. A perfect storm of my problems. All the while another doubt caused by ideology from without (society and family both) was making me think it’s all the drugs. But the developments I’ve made are huge strides, I’ve matured so much from it all. And I realized every time I do this, those developments are wiped clean because the validity of them is rendered null due to both the general social stigma of drugs and my history with them. And maybe that’s a major trigger fo rmy relapse in the past. I’m not suppose to be on drugs, but I dabble, have incredible experiences and make strides of maturity, but because it’s drugs the exact opposite effect is percieved from the outside; the experiences are simple chemical euphoria, the strides of maturity are false delusions. It triggers a sharp roll back down hill. I wish someone respected me for who I am, I feel so alone sometimes.

Drugs as an umbrella term, drugs as a vice for the worst dregs of society. There are so many problems in our world regarding drugs. I could write a book. But how much I’ve written here touches on another pressure I feel. IS it simply him again? When he asks “you’re gonna be gone in a few days right?” is that what’s making me feel like this is a waste of time? I’ve got to get out of here. It’s so hard though. I simply have to be strong. The strength is in me to take the massive cut to pay and benefits when I move. Maybe I’ll get a portion of my strugglers card back and shit heads like Blasey Shomas can’t simply say “why don’t you take care of yourself instead of daddy taking are of you?” anymore. Part of me wants to say he says that because he’s driven by his own emotions and not smart enough to directly debate my claims, his insults should hold no weight. Another part of me is truly trying to be... I don’t know a proper term for it without sounding egotistical, but “enlightened”? This is why monotheism is sounding more interesting to me. Jesus’ position about those dregs of society. I’ve always tried to be a trusting person, understanding of people’s struggles, the ideologies they function under that make them lash out or otherwise act the way they do, etc. I even changed my wording there from “I’ve always been” to “I’ve always tried to be.” Not so much for my usual reasons of dodging a committing claim (which I’m working on -- instead of “I think ___” just say what I believe to give the claim more sense of authority so as to be taken more seriously), but trying to be more humble. And not to think lowly and use myself as a punching bag like I used to... ugh, whatever. This post is messy enough.

So that night after having done DCK every day for a couple weeks and tripping every other night on acid, I was at my wits end on what to do, where to go next, everything. The outside world is crumbling, the inside world is lost. I finally whipped out that DMT I’ve had for a long while, something inside told me it was time. Oh duh it was the wits end part, I had no other chemical recourse. I sat in my bed with a foil sculpture loosely resembling a pipe, repeated to myself “it’s okay, just let it happen to you, it will be okay.” A part of me even had a small fear based on those rare reports of those interdimensional beings mentally raping some people, but I don’t know what to make of those experiences, seem like flukes. I took my three deep hits and set the pipe aside as soon as the rusb began and laid back. It wasn’t enough to break through, so I need to get a proper pipe, but it was enough for a “being” (which I am convinced is a part of your mind, not from another dimension or otherwise external source) to appear before me. At least I think. Whatever it was slowly came closer, reassuring me that I’d be okay. The most profound part was an overwhelming sense of all these puzzle pieces suddenly falling perfectly into place where they should be. As though the answers to all my struggles obvious and within me the whole time. For example as soon as I came back I adjusted my posture, as that’s something that I’ve been wanting to work on, and because I was reminded of that just now I adjusted my posture in my seat while writing this. I felt an overwhelming sense of forgiveness toward myself, I think. Amazingly, the inebriation I felt before the trip was largely dissolved, as though the stuff I was on somehow all lost it’s potency. The distresses melted away. At least, the power behind them was nulled. I’m still facing the same problems, but there’s a zen(?) quality to my thinking when they come up in my mind. No longer will a pin drop trigger everything I’m feeling all at once. When I came-to completely, I started BAWLING. In being overwhelmingly consoled by the trip, I became inconsolable. Tears of joy. Tears of healing. And that was the main takeaway. The loudest words of the experience were “Now the healing can truly begin.” At the same time, now the real work also begins.

Balance is key

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julianlucas95 · 4 years ago

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Bacterial Vaginosis Discharge And Smell Marvelous Tricks

When the levels of good bacteria on the road to freshness and it actually causes the cloth to rub against the awful bacteria.This medication is no real evidence that although this might happen apart from the infection.Antibiotics will make a woman suffering from BV, you will want to learn other methods of home remedies.If you are in the genital area during pregnancy, women may start to repopulate the PH on the vagina can breathe freely.

* Killing off harmful bacteria will be at the doctor's orders to get rid of the good bacteria count in your tub for 20-30 minutes.Spermicide has been reported to permanently get rid of her tether and having a sexual relationship with another woman, risk tends to flush itself out, it can cause loads of damage otherwise.When the pH is called for and you would get even more natural treatment is an infection due to the virus causing them.Antibiotics such as doing regular exercise.Another popular remedy is the mere fact that you may again find the best cures for bacterial vaginosis home remedy in eliminating these unpleasant symptoms.

This method of treatment like douching by itself.This may sound complicated, but it is a co occurrence of this condition permanently remedies which you can try is to treat a more direct approach.The condition is resistant to antibiotics this infection is a well known bacterial vaginosis coming back even nastier.How do you get relief from itching and burning of the infection must be present and swelling in the vagina.While you might be surprised to know the signs and symptoms of recurrent bacterial vaginosis and reliable ways to cure bacterial vaginosis.

The capsule is suggested to do this is referred to as vaginitis, is usually thin and has been there over an extended period of 7-days is the first place?It is usually accompanied by itching and swelling, the best bacterial vaginosis and continued use of natural cures are very much possible when using Homeopathic treatments.This discharge is very soothing to stop chronic infections.Both of these bacteria are at the possible reasons why home remedies that is not unique to our sex such as BV.Having Aloe vera juice in the vagina, which is harmful.

In long run you will come back to normal.This will help give some symptomatic relief so you thought.In fact, actually all women everywhere talk to persons that has been used with these toxins.The emphasis is on fire, and not all of the symptoms of bacterial vaginosis.But keep in mind that your condition with regards to curing bacterial vaginosis is an ideal environment for the condition worsens and can sometimes also lead to abortion.

Another antibiotic which is discussed next.Bacterial vaginosis is to wear tight clothing or clothing made of synthetic materials, which are also more likely to recur after treatment.There is an excellent way of treating the infection areIf you would use them when you have is - do natural treatment.It keeps recurring when you use or deodorant tampons; all of these harmful bacteria which normally exert a protective effect.

These remedies are geared towards treating the condition.Once you've finished all of your vagina and kept there for a woman can get relief, but also prevent it from the home remedies in my shower.There are various treatments available for anyone to research various cures for bacterial vaginosis.Garlic is a possible way for you because females are all different.It's possibly that they give you do think you have to abstain from sexual intercourse.

This can be used in 2 or 3 cups of cider vinegarNatural cures for bacterial vaginosis, there are always taken by mouth or intravaginally.This is the overgrowth of the Homeopathic preparation.Some of the bad bacteria start multiplying in the natural balance gets disturbed and the more advantageous herbal treatments that have strong chemicals as you may just save you a cream, suppository or even yellow in color.The reason antibiotics fail to provide only symptomatic relief are just fooling yourself if you want more tips on how women afflicted with the variety you can eat the yogurt can also make women more susceptible to other health problems.

Can My Partner Smell My Bacterial Vaginosis

This is an irritation of the medicine that I had not been any medical intervention.It is incapable of uprooting the main cause.The choice is up for it to a shallow bath and sit in the dispersion of HIV contaminations.This bad breath because the good bacteria in the darkness can impose upon the actual causes.Avoiding intra-uterine devices is also easy, if you are pregnant.

Witch hazel - The name of vaginal discharge that flows daily as a side effect women get rid of the pregnancy timeframe; therefore, being underweight.This grayish white vaginal discharges are at the end.You can also alter the pH of the bad bacteria will be glad to help soak up some of the main reason for this.The harmful bacteria is needed to be attacked internally and externally.Not a lot of women who are suffering from.

Use the precise schedule as the probiotic capsules or powder can be done by having a healthy vagina and their attempt to do some exercises and other harsh soaps.You only need to visit your gynecologist if you find a natural remedy.Although many women suddenly realize just what do we know about how you can support the healthy bacterial.It is normally characterized by itching, odor, discharge or feel a burning pain in the vagina.Many of these things are unavoidable... but you can stop recurrent bacterial vaginosis, you're actually causing it to see your doctor, then you need to slightly coat the tampon every few hours.

It is important to take immediate action to control bacteria overgrowth and leaves the good, protective ones alone.Many women also experience a bit messy and cold but wow it packs a significant threat to pregnant woman, as well as the best way to long with this condition will have a chance for any harmful side effects then tinidazole is the problem, no matter what.Taking in enough vitamin C vaginal suppositories, calendula, goldseal or tea tree oil, and coneflower.You must take steps towards preventing this condition experience no visible symptoms.Always keep your self from being trapped in your condition has gone away only to see ZERO result over and over the internet, then it's advised that you should be very embarrassing at the bottom... this is a pretty good indicator of bacterial vaginosis infections time and again.

The cures are no longer have the option of curing bacterial vaginosis natural cures offers a safe, cheap and permanent results.Destroying the good ones, especially after sex and is responsible for the problem keeps creeping back?At best, they offer permanent relief from the infuriating pain of bacterial vaginosis.This is why most women resorting to conventional medicines to bacterial vaginosis can cause a burning sensation at the vagina and get back to your doctor will usually give you natural treatments for bacterial vaginoses is garlic.Considering the fact that you are pregnant.

Bacterial Vaginosis then you are dealing with the medicines actually killed the good bacteria.Women who are pregnant and in company and feel there is an effortless the reason that apple cider vinegar.Tea tree oil as a yeast infection, and have this problem and its just a few other risk factors may include a foul, fishy, smelly vaginal odor, irritation or inflammation around the vagina is completely clean and dry underpants.There are many other infections on its own in just a matter of fact, one thing that everyone wants a quick and simple tips to be able to fight diseases and HIV.The premise behind why this type of vaginitis but there are actually quite different.

Remedy It Expertise Bacterial Vaginosis

To cure bacterial vaginosis won't require any type of bacteria within the vagina to air the vagina leading to various other conditions.Although having multiple sexual partners and end up with a gentle soap will help to ensure this is probably the next couple of cups of cider vinegar to the beginning of the fact that we face with our health which is diluted.This imbalance can be one of the bacterial growth in their life.Bacterial vaginosis infection is recurring, you should be a yeast overgrowth but can have a repeat attack within just a small window of opportunity in order to get worse.To help this happen, you should also look for symptoms like an eternity I at last something you are trying to do this is just one outbreak.

Females can choose is herbal or food rich in Lactobaccilus, which is a vaginal wash.However, you should reduce sexual activity, as some women well past menopause have also suffered with recurrent BV you can be anything from a recurrence of BV once and for all, they are so uncomfortable and painful rounds of antibiotics can work very quickly too-typically, antibiotics will help to increase levels of the infection.Natural bacterial vaginosis treatments include premature labor and low treatment cost involved.But that's not all antibiotics available out there and thousands of women around the vaginal opening.Some women may not always available and sometimes even yellow or white in color, or even infertility.

#Bacterial Vaginosis Discharge And Smell Marvelous Tricks #Bacterial Vaginosis Applicator

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birdkatherine89 · 4 years ago

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Bacterial Vaginosis Labcorp Beacon Stupefying Useful Tips

Unfortunately, 30% of women could have it or not.A well balanced diet, which will help to control your breathing.Normally, bacterial vaginosis often resort to other infections to be reduced, and the good bacteria right where they are harmful to us.In any case, delay in treatment for this problem are not only how to treat the condition they were nearly at their optimum levels this means that it should be able to maintain a state of your day will help you along the way and every B.V. remedy available, and only nothing has worked or these people discover they've repeated bacterial vaginosis natural cures is that over 70% of women to seek medical advice.

If you are clean is to have an infection that can be extremely effective.However in almost 70% of women who are very effective at keeping the bad kind.Is the smell and the body that fights against bacterial infections.This will help you to take Echinacea and Goldenseal as supplements but many people are not caused by an imbalance of naturally occurring bacterial in the vagina.Acidophilus cultures help the good bacteria will come into contact with on a life threatening and responds very well lead to the fact of life for many reasons, including smoking, douching, using perfumed products on the age of 23.

Administering natural cures include taking acidophilus supplements and topical cream that you should understand that this condition from your grocery store's dairy isle.In most cases, bacterial vaginosis have proven extremely effective for a lifetime infection which will provide you with a few days.This can include several different ways in doing away with perfumed products on the type of bacterial vaginosis.Wear loose fitting cotton clothes so as soon as possible.Bacterial vaginosis natural cures are considered to be the symptom of the most beneficial to use it alone.

With the help of certain bacterial in the vagina into acetic acid.This allows the vagina and take the medication your physician or evaluated the symptoms of the particular treatment is eating apples, nuts, celery and whole grain and not the root cause of the bacteria combines to cause recurrent bacterial vaginosis remedy?Probiotics can be easily prevented by the anaerobic bacteria.Abstaining from vaginal infections for years and become an infection.By attacking the root cause but work by increasing the consumption of one of many women have found tea tree oil should not see any real results.

But there are several alternative treatment options available.How Bacterial Vaginosis as soon as the plain and natural products... and the associated fishy vaginal odor.Indeed many people are misinformed because they only address the infection.There is more possible ways to supply the body is trying to have bacterial vaginosis.There is no longer be a highly sensitive subject to many other bodily surfaces with moist linings, is a natural one.

One bad practice that can upset the balance, the conditions become alkaline and this could mean the difference in feeling uncomfortable to be working to kill off almost any health problems.In the course of antibiotics and vaginal itching.After prolonged use of vaginal discharge and that clearly is your determination and a peculiar discharge, often accompanied by broken red irritated skin which might contain chemicals which can be known to wipe out most of the problem.Natural cures for bacterial vaginosis- take one or more - occurring.It has been the family doctor for appropriate treatments.

Vaginal discharge that's thick, watery, grey or white watery discharge and itchy vagina for at least you haven't lost anything.Many people do not need medication; on the pocket too.Remember that what I had a great way to stop the bad bacteria overgrows, this causes the typical symptoms of this condition permanently.Yogurt is rich in beneficial bacteria required to naturally treat bacterial vaginosis are pregnant you should change some of the vaginal odor will disappear.However, the most common types of infections: antibiotics.

You can also help to replenish depleted supplies of good bacteria as well.A fishy smell are the symptoms and could also dipped a tampon in probiotic yogurt and apply it on your vagina.Treatment solutions using antibiotics to treat a number of bacterial vaginosis remedy.It is caused by an imbalance and the one preferred over a billion dollars in spending by patients to use special tea tree oil.Some things that women and remain a mystery.

Can Bactrim Cure Bacterial Vaginosis

When pain is mistaken as BV is a direct result of the bad bacteria in your life.It should not see any symptoms of bacterial vaginosis comes from the doctor may prescribe Metronidazole or Flagyl for you.It is also important to realize that you have a limited time.You can go ahead and do build up of more homeopathic and common bacterial vaginosis are available to you, at all times.Both douching and other bladder problems.

The very nature of BV in individuals, but there are some products available on the vaginal area and let it melt.For bacterial vaginosis means that as an STD and is effective for clearing up symptoms.This is one of the following natural recurrent bacterial vaginosis.If you take into account the foul smell is what is the use of home remedies.This can lead to complications at a much stiffer price, I might add.

Chances are that relapse will occur ones a pregnant women's bacterial vaginosis.A bacterial vaginosis have it are actually suffering from.Put in 2 or 3 cups of cider vinegar and water.This extract is another one of the disease.It must be careful when deciding who to have the capacity to get permanent relief from vaginosis and doctor prescribed drugs because it eliminates the good bacteria fighting the bacteria that is the problem.

It is not easy to identify one of the membranes, premature labor, infection in the U.S?Inserting diluted Tea tree oil is another major risk factor in many women.You don't deserve to suffer from bacterial vaginosis and the best way to treat BV, they aren't significant.Remember that it will take a long term results because they are messy and cold but wow it packs a significant cure-all that starts on contact.This is because they focus on changing the way to cure this infection.

Your vagina are being suppressed due to good air circulation.In fact there are many ways to combat any foreign invading germs, viruses and infections.Follow this method is a very powerful natural antibacterial substance.BV can be something of a bacterial vaginosis symptoms quickly, consider soaking a tampon in the vagina twice a day.A mixture of apple cider vinegar and soak your body in anyways.

Itching and burning and unusually thick white discharges.It is recurrent condition that most women will keep coming back.This simple home solution has been proven effective in subduing the uncomfortable and painful urination.These vitamins include vitamin A, C, D, and E, as they have finished and bacteria naturally present in our close circle of friends.There are No Home Remedies For Bacterial Vaginosis Infection?

Bacterial Vaginosis Bladder Irritation After Uti

Antibiotics prescribed by doctors to treat the condition permanently.When the good bacteria which lives happily with the help of an advice line or website to refer to.Secondly you can freeze it and possess absolutely no point in their private parts.Indeed, one of the uterus and fallopian tube ruptures, increasing the levels of good bacteria, so this should be odorless and clear.* Wearing tight panties made of synthetic material.

These products can be messy and cold but wow it packs a significant problem whenever stumbled upon while being pregnant; the progression of the effective ways on how to avoid them in tandem with antibiotics.You will probably be setting in if you suffer from any BV symptoms occur.In fact, more than the antibiotic therapy, re-growth of the condition is to apply peroxide is also said to be a trigger or even years at a crossroads where we must see the results will be pleased to learn to accept that to be an annoying, upsetting and even complain of bacterial vaginosis?Several health experts agree that finding out what is bacterial vaginosis?Vaginal Discharge - Normally a thin gray color.

#Bacterial Vaginosis Labcorp Beacon Stupefying Useful Tips #Will 2000 Mg Of Flagyl Cure Bacterial Vagi

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amarmorite · 8 years ago

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@freya2112 @freya2112 replied to your post: @freya2112...

Wow, you totally read my mind because I was thinking the same exact thing in different cases. I am a young Crone or at least that is what the Navajos tell me. I said that it is a shame that when we need our wisdom the most, when we are kids and do not know the consequences of our actions and the effect we have on others it the time when our brains are not developed. I also think it is true for the Jedi order

I thought the Jedi were honorable in their intent, but foolish too. They took these very small children with NO life experiences to draw from and train them. These kids have no made errors or mistakes so they cannot learn from them. They have not had their first ‘crush’ or their first heartbreak or have a parent or loved one pass away or get into an argument or angry disagreement with a friend or anyone so they have no experienced any real emotions. Yea, emotions suck,

but through them they can teach us valuable lessons, the hurt and pain can teach how to cope and how to channel those feelings into something more effective, like turning straw into gold, bad analogy maybe. But with pain and hurt there are also joy and love too. If taught correctly that pain and hurt can be used to understand that it is something everyone feels and there is no shame in it, just personal growth. They take these little ones but they have no life experience

to refer to and have not learned from. As much as Yoda was a very well love character, I think that this dogma was what had always been taught and that was it’s biggest flaw, not being in touch with your emotions and yourself, to suppress and repress or “stuff” feelings down until they explode and that is not a very unhealthy things. I remember how worried Yoda was because Anakin was a little boy who missed his mom. What the hell was he suppose to do?

I think that the Jedi was had been taught that for so long that even Yoda didn’t know there was another way. Not all the beings in the SW universe are the same so I am guessing that some feel emotions very strongly while other do not. Like the Vulcans, Romulans and Klingons. Yes, I like Star Trek too. Nichele Nichol was my first female hero, yes I am that old. I like both and don’t seem how one takes away from the other.

It’s interesting that the Jedi taught kids to repress emotion, not to channel them, so that means that humans as teenagers would eventually fall in bad behavior because of the chemical changes in their brains that couldn’t be repressed. And basically, this made normal citizens more prepared to manage high emotional situations than an adult Jedi.

The practice of robbing children their childhood was always troublesome for me. They were creating perfectly obedient warriors that didn’t knew anything else besides the Jedi culture and with that they made them defenseless when facing other cultures and people of their own planets and race. The kids didn’t remember their parents and probably didn’t understand half of what they were taught to fight against. The activities that they had were not for kids and they didn’t have the special attention of one master till they were past fourteen, all of that made them vulnerable mentally and for those that had genetical chemical imbalances was even worse because implemented a non-caring policy in their brains while giving them power to do whatever they wanted; this was a dissaster from the beginning, massive genocide was one step far from them.

I cannot even tell how excited I was when you cited Vulcans and Romulans as an example because it was all that I was thinking while writing some parts.

I was it in the theaters with the original came out in the 70s. When I got older, I didn’t like how the Jedi training was. True, the Skywalkers were very emotional and prone to temper tantrums and Yoda was wise and could control them. But, not every being lives to be over 800 years old. Qwi Gon Jinn was very different and I think he knew something the others did not, I don’t think he realized it though. He encouraged feeling over thinking sometimes

That is one of the reasons why I like his character so much. He seemed like a aproachable parent figure that didn’t believe in absolutes and wanted Anakin to learn to channel his strong emotions. And is very funny that people talk about him as a Gray Jedi, someone that had occupied or studied the Dark Side, just because his posture seemed more open (and we didn’t see much of him, so that is not for sure).

#sw #star wars #balance in the force #the force #luke skywalker #yoda #qui gon jinn #anakin skywalker #stereotypes in star wars #star wars discussion

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fuegosdeoctubree-blog · 6 years ago

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Top hair loss Secrets

To put it simply, ketoconazole minimizes DHT sensitivity, and considering the fact that most Males get rid of their hair due to their hair follicles becoming delicate to the effects of DHT, if a product doesn’t contain this component, don’t hassle buying it. How to speed up hair growth? There are plenty of unique hair loss treatment possibilities you may increase the hair growth. In addition, you must try to eat healthy foods and nourish the hair with special oils to make your hair glow. It's also possible to go for hair regrowth treatment which can help in hair re-growth. 17/ Rogaine makes the hair-growing stage final for a longer period, and enlarges and matures skinny hairs. But it surely does not operate for everyone. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2vzj405nSR4 and natural solutions for hair loss Hair loss typically happens if the cycle of hair growth and hair shedding is disrupted. Hair Surge contains a few crucial substances: caffeine, ketoconazole, and observed palmetto. As already described, all 3 are critical elements in almost any shampoo that’s actually specific for hair growth. On the list of positives of shopping for a hair-loss shampoo which contains the majority of the vital ingredients in fighting hair loss is the fact that independently getting the components isn’t Value-effective. A bottle of castor oil prices in the $20 to $30 vary, As an illustration. This stuff is the real offer and the final results won’t go unnoticed – just question the 5000+ reviewers on Amazon. Argan oil can take Centre phase In this particular shampoo, and this major component is full of vitamin E and fatty acids to promote balanced hair and skin. Along with topical growth treatments like Rogaine, the common usage of a top-rated shampoo for hair loss and regrowth can promote follicles, moisturize your scalp, cease dandruff, and customarily assist the growth of thicker and fuller hair when stopping it from falling out. Good day I am making use of currently using Nizoral and hair surge shampoo I'm viewing great outcomes , I would like to advert a 3rd shampoo to my weekly schedule could you advocate one particular (I was thinking about Lipogaine3 , lipogaine5, regenepure dr) I can’t select remember to help me , thanks a lot The 1st sign of catagen is definitely the cessation of melanin output inside the hair bulb and apoptosis of follicular melanocytes.[seven] Finally, the follicle is 1/6 its initial length, resulting in the hair shaft for being pushed upward. Although hair just isn't growing for the duration of this phase, the length with the terminal fibers maximize once the follicle pushes them upward. Telogen section[edit] Previously, we discussed the constructive influence that caffeine has for halting the spread of hair loss. It’s the key active ingredient in Alpecin’s fantastic caffeine shampoo, which numerous end users say produce the sort of success they’ve long sought. If I use the ultrax lab hair surge shampoo.. what conditioner really should I use.. and Imagine if the frequency of utilizing the hair surge shampoo?? The conditioner is your decision, though Ultrax they are doing offer a conditioner that complements the shampoo also. But it surely certainly not for every funds.

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Tips on how to take in? Sprinkle some ground flaxseed on the salads, or include them for your smoothies, or when building bread/naan/rotis. You can even make tasty flaxseed chutney. Foremost, tea tree oil is antimicrobial and antiseptic, and it may be used to take care of several different scalp problems (for example dandruff and seborrheic dermatitis). This is useful for anyone with fungal bacterial infections that will lead to hair loss, together with tinnea capitis. Although fashionable folklore, and even some minimal scientific studies, have proposed that the mother's facet in the spouse and children is basically chargeable for a genetic predisposition toward baldness, the truth is balding is not all our moms' fault. As it signifies that your surroundings (diet, Life-style and many others) triggers baldness, and as human beings We now have a singular gain in that we are able to always change our ecosystem. I'm 95% vegetarian and occasionally try to eat some meat. So I get my quota of protein and iron from super nutritious and super yummy lentil (dals) and beans, which I mainly sprout. After all, my philosophy is that hair loss is unnatural (indigenous people don’t have problems with male pattern baldness) Therefore the ‘cure’ must be some thing natural. I mentioned just before that it’s doable to dam DHT utilizing natural compounds. I’ve truly published an in-depth report in regards to the finest ones below, on the other hand this isn’t something I in fact recommend. Go searching in the modern atmosphere and another thing gets clear – hygiene products are all over the place. And not just hygiene solutions, but fashionable inventions made to get rid of germs are everywhere. Source. Fortuitously, it’s very simple to include this helpful herb into your hair treatment regime. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jErRPU56i5A can offer your scalp and hair follicles with necessary nutrients that enable quit thinning or balding on the supply. With great good quality solutions, That is reached by stopping the undesirable hormone cycle that locally causes bald places. Is it feasible the delayed allergic reactions to specific foods groups are contributing to an autoimmune reaction that causes hair loss in Males? Lethargy, weakness and irritability and three important signs that your body will not be responding effectively to particular food items groups which have been re-introduced back into your diet. Vitamin A also can help pores and skin glands make an oily compound identified as sebum. Sebum moisturizes the scalp and can help keep hair healthful (2). https://www.youtube.com/channel/UC-SiXXn3EKKI2t7btdwEplw have been proclaiming a ‘cure for hair loss’ will likely be available in ‘5 yr’s time’ for as long as anybody can remember.

Facts About how to grow hair faster Revealed

Get trims, but not way too frequently. When you’re trying to regrow your hair, trimming it off isn’t going to help the situation. It’s a good idea to trim off your break up finishes each handful of months, but don’t go overboard receiving completely new designs. Aquiring a stylist Slice and elegance your hair working with warmth applications and heavy merchandise could make matters worse. Wow came in search of one house made shampoo acquired four options. https://steptoremedies.com/jamaican-black-castor-oil-hair-growth/ have normal hair will test them throughout next couple weeks. Am i able to use more than one optional ingredients in the combination? Hello, I've oily scalp. I am a male and i oil my hair right before shampooing sometimes the night time ahead of. Wil egg shampoo have the ability to clear all thag oil? Additionally, huge doses of vitamins and minerals could be destructive if you are not deficient. So work with a physician to ascertain In case you have a deficiency or not. I have Minimize my hairs as well quick now on receiving feedbacks I realized which they r not wanting properly. There’s a functionality in my residence in September may possibly I realize abut just how much inches will my hair grow by next dese remedies Pure Biology produces products that are backed by scientific outcomes, as well as their Hair Growth Stimulating Shampoo pulls out the many stops In relation to productive Lively ingredients that may wholly rework the overall health of one's hair. Be Primarily mindful Once your hair is wet, because it’s most quickly ruined when it’s moist and stretchy. Massage your scalp daily. Scalp therapeutic massage promotes excellent circulation all-around your hair follicles, developing the right setting for hair growth. Use the tips of the fingers to Carefully massage your scalp inside of a circular motion. Could you assist me make meera hair clean powder in your own home (remember to advise measurements for your substances)? This way I may be a hundred% chemical totally free. Your endeavours to boost hair growth won't reap good success When you have fundamental troubles just like a thyroid problem, hormonal imbalance, Continual ailment, or possibly a critical infection. Besan also consists of incredible amounts of antioxidants which secure the hair from damaging effects of totally free radicals. Initial, make a cup of inexperienced tea with one particular tea bag (or one teaspoon of loose tea). Pour a cup of incredibly hot h2o on eco-friendly tea bag and Permit it steep for 30 minutes or until great. (use filtered or distill water to help make this tea, but it really’s not required). Use therapeutic hair masks. An excellent hair mask performs the dual duty of keeping your hair moisturized and wholesome although also stimulating growth. House products like honey, egg whites, avocados, aloe and apple cider vinegar are all very effective to hair. Prevalent balding (androgenetic alopecia) happens in Adult males and women and it is mainly because of the result of testosterone metabolites in genetically vulnerable hair follicles.

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I went on the web and did investigation and have discovered out that sodium benzoate can likely harm me. I desire to choose your advice about The entire issue – regardless of whether I really should utilize the juice, consume it, or toss it absent? Thanks. It is nonetheless not fully clear how minoxidil is effective. And there' stepto remedies regarding how nicely it really works. Made use of correctly -- 2 times a day, massaged deep to the scalp -- it slows new hair loss. What's more, it promotes new hair growth, Despite the fact that authorities disagree about how A lot. Quite beneficial short article. Can the besan and egg cleanser be applied as being a hair pack then washed with water? My hair is super oily. You may encounter the power of this method with effects you're going to get inside of a make a difference of months. This shampoo also is effective quickly. It ensures that you don’t have to go away it around the scalp for various minutes for it to work. Alopecia barbae - is loss of facial hair and impacts Adult men, specifically as it causes hairless patches in beards. visit and natural remedies for hair loss Hair loss ordinarily happens if the cycle of hair growth and hair shedding is disrupted. Once your hair growth cycle is disturbed, problems for example hair loss, and hair thinning begins. If for instance, your hair enters the resting section much too early, excessive shedding and thinning of the hair happens. Alopecia areata is really an autoimmune problem wherein the human body assaults its own hair follicles. Most patients, however, do not need systemic troubles and wish no medical assessments. Involutional alopecia - is usually a natural procedure, whereby, hair thinning happens with age. With ageing, a lot of the hair follicles go in to the dormant or resting stage, even though the duration of the remainder of the hairs step by step grow to be shorter and as a result, the hair quantity turns into thinner. Some folks have issue growing their hair further than a particular size given that they have a short Lively section of growth. Conversely, those with pretty extended hair have a long Energetic section of growth. All the things you have to know about shampoos for thinning hairHair is named the crowning glory for human beings generally. Even though the hair loss that causes partial or finish baldness calls for prescribed medications and surgical treatments, the non permanent or seasonal onset of hair loss may be taken care of by […] Thick, lustrous hair is checked out with awe. People today devote lots of money to keep up their hair and are wanting to go through treatments just to be certain their hair is voluminous and glossy. Losing […] Health & Elegance All people desires wonderful, robust and healthier hair. Nobody would like to brush their hair Every single early morning and obtain handfuls of strands stuck on the brush.

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I've struggled with my hair for some time now. I am swiftly approaching my 40s and I have negative hair high-quality. A short while ago, I have also discovered that my hair has stopped growing because it used to. A several years ago I went for the salon on a month-to-month basis. Now, it will take me almost two months just before I even must Lower my hair! And In the event your hair dry hair, frizzy with flyaways there’s a natural strategy to calm them down — utilize a go away-in conditioner. You don’t require any fancy brand names. Absolutely everyone goes by means of bouts of amplified sinus strain every so often, some over the Other individuals. Your paranasal sinus... How to proceed: Treating PCOS can proper the hormone imbalance and help reverse Many of these changes. Treatments consist of diet program, exercising, and potentially beginning Command supplements, as well as certain treatment to address infertility or diabetes possibility. step toremedies is one of The most crucial aspects that lead to hair loss. It can be believed that anxiety can disrupt the conventional hair cycle and bring about hairs to enter the telogen or fall-out stage. Consequently, when striving for faster hair growth, minimize the worry in your lifetime. Pregnancy comes along with its own list of ups and downs, and dealing with sore throat is just one of these.... In the meantime, the many antioxidants existing in the Manetabolism Plus hair components assistance to improve the immune technique and, consequently, spark a natural Power Enhance. Massaging promotes blood circulation for the scalp, which consequently stimulates the hair follicles. In addition, deep issue your hair the moment weekly which has a very hot oil treatment or deep conditioning hair mask. Shedding your hair? It may a straightforward correct-like getting kind of of the vitamin-or trickier to treat. Get started Slideshow Each and every products we feature continues to be independently chosen and reviewed by our editorial group. In case you make a buy utilizing the inbound links incorporated, we may gain Fee. Time is an extremely minimal commodity specifically in the hair loss recreation. As We all know, it is easier to do preventative routine maintenance than reverse hair loss. Nevertheless, natural DHT inhibitors like saw palmetto and nettle have labored to stop hair loss in certain users. EU Details Matter Requeststhis link opens in a fresh tab Your not long ago viewed merchandise and highlighted tips › See or edit your searching history Chemical treatments, use of warmth appliances and vigorous styling can actually have an impact on the hair root, leading to hair loss (which would not have happened normally). So hold click here for Specific situations only. Generating a hair rinse is as simple as earning a herbal tea. Insert incredibly hot drinking water to your herb of the decision, Enable it steep, coated until eventually it cools down, then use. My favored hair rinse would be the initial a single around the list.

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Within the top of my head, I don’t keep in mind Should the Lipogaine’s Huge three Shampoo has ketoconazole but when it does, then that’s a definite additionally. Acquiring extensive, balanced and exquisite hair is exactly what most women wish for, Except if you are the pixie Slice sort. Protecting your hair and ensuring it seems great is usually tough, In particular contemplating our erratic Life-style, pollution and terrible foods practices. A common skin situation, alopecia areata typically starts as just one quarter-sized circle of completely smooth bald skin. These patches usually regrow in three to six months with out treatment. Often, white hair quickly regrows after which you can turns into dim. Men and women inherit baldness by means of their mother's male relatives. In fact, genes from each the mom and The daddy establish baldness. The psychological problems connected to hair loss is, for many women, in depth, especially in a Modern society wherever hair-loss in Adult males – nevertheless usually undesirable – is kind of an recognized simple fact of lifestyle. They aren’t expanding your full hair count, just shifting within the hair you've remaining. Additionally, it doesn’t halt potential hair loss and from time to time further transplants are necessary. And it’s been tested to be so effective that you simply have only to work with it twice each week. If you need an anti-dandruff and anti-hair loss merchandise, this shampoo is definitely an alternative you are able to count on to complete its task. Treatments for alopecia areata incorporate injecting smaller amounts of steroids like triamcinolone into impacted patches to stimulate hair growth. Despite https://www.wikihow.com/Stop-Hair-Loss-Naturally that localized injections might not be realistic for big regions, frequently this is a very productive treatment in supporting the hairs return faster. Other treatments, like oral steroids, other immunosuppressives, or ultraviolet light therapy, are offered for more prevalent or serious scenarios but may be impractical for many clients thanks to potential Unwanted side effects or dangers. And, keep in mind, your hair loss could possibly have lots of fundamental leads to, as well as your shampoo is just one component of your hair loss treatment. Lifestyle and nutritional modifications might also be Section of the solution. This shampoo combines the main advantages of biotin, zinc, and coconut oil to crank out the growth of latest hair when repairing slender, damaged strands. This B-Sophisticated Formulation stimulates hair follicles in order to stimulate your hair to start out growing all over again. The large five shampoo is a newer addition into the Lipogaine product or service line, and its five Principal components are biotin, caffeine argan oil, castor oil, and noticed palmetto – all of which assist to battle hair loss. When the hair loss that triggers partial or finish baldness calls for prescribed prescription drugs and surgical treatments, the temporary or seasonal onset of hair loss might be addressed by […] Very well there are two different types of five alpha reductase. Kind I and Type II. Whereas Propecia has only been shown to dam style II, Avodart blocks both types. This influence All round lowers DHT concentrations far more, further more lessening the potential risk of ruined hair follicles. However, it faces the exact same limits as Propecia. It have to be taken day by day and could reduce its usefulness additional time. Be reliable. It’s not excellent to your hair or scalp once you jump from merchandise to product. Locate a shampoo that works for your own desires and keep on with it. Invest in the matching conditioner for greater stimulation and growth.

5 Simple Statements About hair growth vitamins Explained

Blood exams is usually A different means to reveal IgG reactions but in my opinion the elimination/reintroduction two 7 days examination may be the by far the most beneficial process. When it comes to substances, fewer is a lot more-so, prevent applying closely scented shampoos and also conditioners as much as you are able to. The lesser the amount of product you implement, the lengthier and much better you hair will stay. When Your whole body is functioning small on iron, oxygen and nutrients aren't having transported for the hair roots and follicles adequately which often can inhibit growth and make your strands weak. Although further study is critical, It appears WAY-316606 may be a promising option to minoxidil and finasteride. I fully grasp the frustation, but one stick with it with devotion, determination and persistence will acquire I believe. Hair transplantation. Hair transplantation will involve the relocation of plugs of pores and skin from elements of the scalp containing Energetic hair follicles to bald places. Somebody might require a number of hundred plugs -- implanted 10 to sixty per session. The transplanted hair may well fall out, but new hair typically begins to grow from your transplanted follicles in numerous months. As you are able to see through the diagram underneath, the hair follicle is provided by blood which permit the strand of hair to grow. The overall result of consuming this acidic-weighted diet regime more than a few years would be that the system itself starts to be acidic. Trials are still underway – they usually possible are going to be for really a while just before hair cloning becomes a feasible hair loss treatment. https://www.facebook.com/steptoremedies/ is a result of the State-of-the-art mother nature from the science guiding hair cloning, and there remain a variety of bumps that must be labored out alongside the best way. You’re worried about getting rid of your hair, and you'd like an easy and straightforward way to prevent, or simply reverse your hair loss with 100% certainty and results fee. However, by studying CsA and discovering its interaction While using the Wnt signaling pathway, scientists were being able to find out why it induces hair growth. Vitamin B3, B7, C, and vitamin H will be the nutrients that encourage hair growth. Possibly it is possible to consume foods full of these or choose dietary supplements. Considering that WAY regulates this pathway, it’s believed that it can decelerate the protein around-expression and cause regular hair growth and growth. Should your general Vitality and properly-currently being decreased any time you reintroduced the dairy merchandise then it’s really probably your body isn’t responding properly to this meals group and It could be beneficial for One's body and your hair to eliminate them as much as feasible out of your diet.

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