#I feel like a sack of shit
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Depression showers and sinus infection showers are eerily similar. Both consist of sitting on the shower floor and letting scalding hot water rain down on you while contemplating your will to live.
#personal#still sick and it keeps getting worse#I can't even properly take care of M#can't eat#supply tanking#whine whine whine#I feel like a sack of shit
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buh
i just don't know how to explain it, I just feel useless, dumb, and so many others. A few my father's called me before, which, hah, he's the main reason I feel this way
I don't know what to do anymore, I feel so sick. The only thing that brings me joy is interacting with you guys, and im struggling to make time. It's not okay in my eyes
I just don't know how to explain anything how I'm feeling. I feel like throwing up right now
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skunk gotta go to the vet
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the only thing worse than creating art is not creating art
#ray's tag#keys' art#undescribed#YO WHATS UP its another low effort psuedo art piece comic about dealing with mental disabilities while creating things from ya boy#i have such low esteem in myself and the things i create it's crazy. like what am i doing. i work my ass off for like eight hours and get#a stupid low quality video from it. And for what. It's all just shit. i go between stubborn optimism and depression i jsut#.#yeah i feel like a sack of shit right now#im gonna go get a shower
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another thing that i just noticed is that the dwarves have now had done to them by the elves what we’d thought the elves had done to them by humans, at least before inquisition. cut down in their peak and permanently ruined, left to scrabble for the broken pieces of their history
not to say it’s an inherently bad choice because oppression isn’t that straightforward, but it sure was an interesting choice to shift the “they destroyed our way of life and fractured our society and we ARE allowing ourselves to feel angry about it and reclaim our history and maybe use that to rebuild what we once had” narrative from the elves to the dwarves. like if that’s the story you really wanted to tell, you could have also given it to like. bellara
#the fall of the titans feels very similar to what we had originally thought the sacking of arlathan was#so there may be more there to uncover. and i dont lnow that i trust them like that again lmao#and it feels especially. i dont want to say insidious but tone deaf at the very least#to shift that from elves (long history of racial coding and marginalization in this series) to dwarves (much less of that)#AND it being told from harding’s POV when she’s not really part of any dwarven society and never has been#feels very much like. white person whose family has been in north america for a few generations reading about european traditions and#trying to incorporate them into their life. anger over how their ancestors were coerced into abandoning their culture to be considered white#so youre left with nothing and are trying to reclaim That. listen it’s also a valid desire i guess but very telling that youre choosing#to tell this story while actively destroying the chance to tell the other kind of story#and also there’s something about how culture doesnt exist in a vacuum#i know some europeans accuse americans of cosplaying their culture and while on one hand that might just be refusal to acknowledge that#culture isnt a monolith and might evolve differently somewhere else. there is a bit of truth to it imo#anyway what im saying is this is absolutely what underground dwarves think of harding#we dont know enough about stalgard#kinda got the impression he was just a guy who lived there rather than part of kal sharok’s government or shaperate#he’s one guy and his opinion doesnt reflect kal sharok. i dont think orzammar is necessarily wrong for not cooperating#they are famously a very closed society and also this is someone from outside that trying to instruct them on their shit#same as when solas tried to ‘’’reason’’’ with the dalish#mine#datv spoilers
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So not only does Jane flirt with a few dudes in her story, she also flirts with two ladies, one from her story and another in her trailer.
I don’t care; she’s not beating the bi allegations.
#zenless zone zero#jane doe#I FUCKING LOVE HER#I really feel like she’s a bi icon and you can’t stop me#but I’m just saying that one bitch in Jane’s trailer?#*slams fist on table*#IT SHOULDVE BEEN ME NOT HER#IT ISNT FAIR#Apple should really add some more Pride flags on their keyboard…#I’m so excited to pull her…#WEDNESDAY COME FASTER YOU SACK OF SHIT#I GOT 100 PULLS FOR RAT LADY AND CAT BOY FUCK#I NEED THEM IN MY ACCOUNT
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#personal#not to sound like an edgy sack of shit but like#there is a certain amount of peace in accepting that no one’s ever going to love you the way you want to be loved#it’s sad but at least there’s no anger in it. like yeah. there’s something fundamentally wrong with me.#no clue what it is. people like me when I’m around them. but there’s just something…wrong. and i’d change it if i knew what it was.#but i don’t. so there’s no use being actively upset about it.#I’m upset about enough things already. At least all that isn’t another thing on the list of things I’m angry about.#like i’ve basically accepted that everyone leaves eventually and that i’ll probably die alone. it’s kind of whatever atp.#i didn’t even think i’d make it past 18 so really…who cares? i’ve already been here longer than i feel I’m ‘allowed’ to be.#so what does it matter?#me: yeah I’m a super chill guy#the chillness: comes from an inability to be fucking bothered#like. I’m tired man. idk.#the only things I’m excited about are tfs and st5.#anyway.
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Every time I go through the OrangeJuiceVerse I start fucking sobbing thinking about Stan my sweet boy he’s been through so much mentally oh my fuck
#i’m emotional#what else is new#this is from Sad Sack btw#which takes place a little before our boy stops drinking#sober Stan my beloved#south park#OrangeJuiceVerse#style#them#lmm voice: look at my son#it’s the lotr reference for me#OJV Kyle makes me cry too like precious sweet supportive dude asjddhkk#fic excerpt#idk what’s wrong with me#i don’t feel good#so I am posting random shit
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headcanoning a canon disabled character as ableist purely for the sake of angst for your uwu autistic gay boy is NOT cool or based 😕☝️
#I'm a Miles Edgeworth fictive so I feel like i gotta say this#yes canon edgeworth is autistic coded. and clearly gay. and canonically is neurodivergent.#but manfred is the exact opposite of “canonically abusive”#a despicable sack of shit who ruined everyone's lives over a petty delirium fueled murder yes#but he's not a bad father! and that's the point!#the fact that he's cruel and terrible and lowk insane yet still was an adoting father of three was why he's a good character!#making him a one dimensional abuser is LAMMEEEEEEE#anyways manfred von karma is lowk based tbh#rambles with miles#ace attorney#ace attorney fictive#ace attorney trilogy#miles edgeworth#manfred von karma#von karma#von karma siblings#turnabout goodbyes#aa trilogy#aa turnabout goodbyes
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curious how dav is going to treat a solavellan romance with an inky who does NOT want to redeem him
#obvi my first game will be with my canon worldstate which is not a solavellan one#but i wanna do my second with a solavellan playthru and my main solavellan girly (love u enan i miss u enan) is like#fully on the Solas Must Die Train#'oh no no no u do not get to use me lie to me dump me cruelly then STEAL MY ARM to destroy the world i love and then get#any measure of mercy you bald sack of shit'#trespasser's ending feels a little...hollow if u play as a romance inky who doesnt want to save him#so i hope dav has some interesting stuff there#nonsense.
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There's a plea hearing for my child welfare case (I am the education attorney and just observing the neglect petition, my colleague is handling that) today in a really inconvenient courthouse that I have to take a bus to and I feel like shit. my allergies are horrible and my stomach was upset all yesterday and the news about federal funding is making me nauseous.
#debating telling my colleague I can't make it so I can stay in bed or at least not shit myself on the bus#human crap sack tire fire#I'm probably fine but feel like I am about to cry#can't tell if bailing on this is reasonable or not#to be clear I am not participating at all today just sitting there
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i must not make a stupid vent post. making a stupid vent post is the mind killer.
#i feel they always sound like fishing for compliments and this isnt what i want frankly i just want things to be different#anyway its hard being just kind of ugly. thats it that was the vent.#everything i order looks like complete shit on me i should just wear nothing but potato sacks and a paper bag on my head and be done with it#ig i made the vent post after all here in the tags. cheers
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ugh, sometimes my body is just so dumb.
What do you mean I'm gonna be sick for a few days just because I gagged twice? I didn't even barf this time!
#i can feel it#I'm gonna feel like shit tomorrow#and because of lack of eating (out of fear of actually barfing) I'll be sick the next day too#vent#this meat sack I'm stuck in is too predictable#wish i could get possessed or somethin so someone else could deal with it
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[May have to update my rules on here.
That or explain myself ooc later cause I have been feeling bad this week and my muse is like a crushed pop can atm ]
#- - ooc#vent //#[I am a sad sack of shit and only getting sadder RIP]#[This isn’t an attack on any particular person just…bad habits I have allowed because I’m the new kid]#[And don’t feel like I can stick up for myself ]
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okay look i know i only just came back from the dead recently but i just wanna go on record by saying that dave defenders/apologists have no place on my blog and if you lead with "yeah what dave did is horrible but-" then gtfo i don't wanna hear your blatant dave worship
#bat insane ramblings#look man i'm not a dave hater by any means#but even i can obviously see from a mile away that dave is a heartless sack of shit and i still enjoy him as a character#it only becomes a problem and makes me want to bully him just to be spiteful when dave defenders are in the equation#you can like a character and not try to justify/defend every morally wrong thing they do#like i get why he did what he did but it doesn't change what he did#i don't feel like it should be glossed over that he destroyed several childhoods but idk thats probably just me apparently#honestly that goes for henry and jack too but i'm referring to dave here because i've noticed it's him who gets babied the most
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