#sober Stan my beloved

[1moreoffkeyanthem]

Every time I go through the OrangeJuiceVerse I start fucking sobbing thinking about Stan my sweet boy he’s been through so much mentally oh my fuck

[mrs-stans]

Sebastian Stan

Words Natty Kasambala

Beloved for Captain America, I, Tonya, and his recent Emmy-nominated role in Pam & Tommy, Stan reflects on a career shaped by diverse characters. Now, with A Different Man and The Apprentice, he’s exploring deep questions about identity, ambition, and the complexities of portraying one of America’s most influential (and controversial) men, Donald Trump

Sebastian Stan wears Rag & Bone throughout. Photography Jim Goldberg

The first time Sebastian Stan tried acting, he hated it. At 9 or 10 years old, he played a Romanian orphan in an Austrian film called 71 Fragments of a Chronology of Chance (1994). Between the waiting around, night shoots, and general pressure-cooker energy, the whole experience had been pretty anxiety-inducing. “I think the idea of a set was just really terrifying,” he recalls. The 42-year-old mainstay admits to being a Leo, but a rather reluctant one, he says, not that extroverted or hypersocial. “I know my mom always thought I was creative simply because I would impersonate the people in our family, or birds or whatever I would see around me.” Nowadays, when he does speak, it’s with the compelling ease of someone who’s spent equal time commanding impressive rooms and in their own head trying to crack the great questions of the world – sounding off passionately about the perils of social media (“there’s so much noise in today’s world”) or the last incredible film he watched (Sing Sing and it was “pure heart”).

Born in Romania and raised in Vienna until he was 12, it wasn’t until immigrating to America as a preteen that Stan found his way back to the craft at all. Attending Stagedoor Manor summer camp aged 15, in the Catskill mountains of upstate New York, his spark was reignited. “That place was really magical and made me fall in love with (acting again); I couldn’t think of anything else as exciting to me as performing was,” he says. “Some of it was about not ever being sure of what to be when I grew up. I kept thinking that you could be a lot of things if you did this.”

So far, he’s been a wayward socialite, a cannibal, a space surgeon, a ski patrol villain, a heavy metal drummer, a supernatural student and a World War II veteran turned brainwashed Soviet operative, to n ame but a few. He’s not an actor you’ll find in the same role twice. With that said, his name has reached household status through a decade-long Marvel stint, with the two films Stan finds himself at the helm of this year being his most ambitious forays yet. 33 years on from his awkward beginning, the actor’s commitment to film appears to still be very much in bloom. “I think I’m at a point in my life where I’m trying to understand things on a deeper level,” he explains. “I can’t say I know everything, you’re always growing, always having to explore. I think it’s important to stay curious, to stay in a certain degree of healthy discomfort… I want to be part of important storytelling that’s asking important questions and reflecting our time.”

In A Different Man, an A24 production directed by Aaron Schimberg, Stan takes on the role of an aspiring actor called Edward with neurofibromatosis, a genetic condition that results in the extensive growth of benign tumours. He undergoes a clinical trial that cures him of his physical symptoms, but his new life turns out to be far from what he dreamed for himself. It’s a winding surrealist investigation into the social impacts of disability, alienation, representation and self-image: its gaze is unflinching, its narrative self-referential and its humour pitch-black. Stan has already won the Silver Bear for Best Leading Performance at the Berlin Film Festival for A Different Man.

The second release, The Apprentice, follows a wildly different arc. Directed by Iranian-Danish filmmaker Ali Abbasi, it tracks a young Trump as he falls under the nefarious mentorship of infamous legislator Roy Cohn. Dubbed ‘an American Horror Story’, it’s a sobering yet deeply entertaining snapshot of the making of one of America’s most influential men. Yet even within the dynamic, prescient story, the actor’s take on Trump is subtle and human, and the tone of the film is less moralising and more matter of fact.

Though the narratives of these two projects are starkly different, you can’t help but find the common threads. Both are set in New York and document a transformation, and both centre a feverish pursuit of some ideal imagined self. A Different Man was filmed back in 2022, and The Apprentice only wrapped in February of this year, but Stan agrees it’s a curious double-header. “I’m weirdly finding parallels between them that I never thought I would. Identity, self-truth, self-abandonment. This idea that we’re always chasing in America, whether it’s image or status or an inability to accept failure and to take ownership over mistakes.”

For the Trump film, that real-life denial was almost the ending of their work of fiction. After years of false starts, Trump’s legal team attempted to block the film’s release in the US altogether and they struggled to find a distributor willing to take on the risk of pissing off a potential President. “For to edit it and get it to Cannes in some finished version itself in five months was just insane. There was no idea if the movie was going to come out,” Stan says. On an individual level, the task felt equally murky and intimidating at first. “You’re trying to tell a story about somebody that’s so famous, who everyone has an opinion about: either extreme love and adoration or hate and animosity. And everyone’s got a version of the guy, so you think, well what do I…” he shrugs, “how do I find my way into it?” Ultimately, they landed on this film as a means of peeling back the layers of one of the most polarising figures of our time. It’s less caricature and more character study as it explores his relationship with his father, his ambitions, the man he was before the slogans and affectations.

Executive producer Amy Baer has spoken about the choice to call on a non-American director to provide a new lens on the intricacies of American culture, propaganda and patriotism. With Stan’s own immigrant story, his perspective adds another dimension to that prism too. Memories of walking down Fifth Avenue in awe and wonder as a kid, staring up at all the big buildings – he tapped into a hunger and drive to portray early Trump as a young man desperately trying to be a part of The Club. “I guess with my experience coming to this country, it was communicated to me even from Eastern Europe that this is the place where you can make something of yourself, you can have a good idea… and you could just succeed,” Stan says. The Apprentice asks, “but at what cost? What happens to a person’s humanity?”

Throughout the film, you witness Trump espousing about “bringing back New York”, even remarking on Reagan’s campaign slogan ‘Let’s Make America Great Again’ towards the end, an ideology he would go on to repurpose for his own candidacy. It’s a fascinating yet depressing origin story of a nationalistic rhetoric that echoes today as a Trojan horse for corruption and greed. “It’s complicated. That’s why I think there’s value in exploring it,” Stan urges. “This American Dream idea is a really powerful driving force that also comes with consequences.”

Perhaps the most complex part was the toxic relationship with his sometimes-partner-in-crime played staggeringly by Jeremy Strong. “I think he was the best partner I’ve ever had in anything I’ve worked on,” Stan declares with a smile. “You know when you’re standing in front of a fire and you feel the heat of it and there’s crackling in the air? That’s how it felt.” Amidst quite a gruelling, isolating filming schedule, it’s the aspect Stan speaks about most fondly.

Clothing Fendi, Necklace & Bracelet Cartier, Boots Givenchy

Swinging between dominant and intimate, transactional and paternal, from comical to devastating, both stayed in character throughout the shoot and undertook a colossal amount of research to be prepared for infinite possible improvised routes. “Creatively, makes things interesting is when you’re not in control. You do all this preparation to be prepared to be surprised,” Stan says. Shot documentary-style in moments, Abbasi might give each of them notes in private to shift the tone of a scene, and they’d find themselves responding instinctively within their roles. “The only way you can achieve that is if, to some degree, you find that person in you. And I can certainly tell you,” he pauses briefly to consider his landing. “There is a version of Trump that existed in me. And I’ll make the argument that there’s a version of Trump that exists in all of us. And that part of our job, part of our interest, should be figuring out what that is. I think we have to acknowledge and expose the things in us that are not so easy to admit, in order to further protect the things we need to fight for. You can’t ignore it.”

In that moment, it’s clear that it’s an argument as true of our discourse on Trump as it is of Stan’s other role in A Different Man. His character Edward is driven to obsession and madness when he witnesses the thriving life of a person with the same disfigurement he was quick to shed, the very thing he believed to be the root of all his misfortune. Right before his transformation, Edward has been ignoring a leak in his ceiling for weeks, and the damage is getting worse. When he’s finally forced to call for a repair, the super arrives and is appalled at how bad he’s allowed it to get. He tells Edward frustratedly, “you should have fixed this sooner”. In that moment, it feels as though he’s talking about a hundred things at once. From Edward’s own issues with doubt and self-acceptance that cling to him even when he is no longer ‘different’ to our own society’s discomfort with, and the misunderstanding of disability altogether. We cannot be afraid to look.

“Edward makes a decision that he thinks is going to improve his life, but he’s not making it for himself. He’s making it because he’s watched other people and he’s grown up in a society that’s told him this is what works,” Stan explains. “Essentially, he abandons himself and he spirals down trying to further live with that painful acknowledgement. I think we have to be conscious of when we’re making decisions that go against who we are and what we truly want.”

In true indie style, squeezing in around the schedule of their makeup artist who was on another project at the same time, Stan had some hours to kill most mornings in prosthetics before filming which he’d spend navigating the city he calls home: “one of the gifts that I was given which I’m very grateful for was the experience that I had walking around New York City as Edward.” With reactions to him ranging from invisibility to hypervisibility, it shifted his entire understanding.

“I’ve been there like everybody else thinking, oh, if I had that. Or you see someone on Instagram and you’re like, oh my God, look at that life, they have the best life; you get caught up in these things.” It’s both reassuring and a little disheartening that, unlike his superhuman alter ego, a star like Stan is still not immune to the very human insecurities us civilians face of joy-stealing comparisons. “There’s this idea I’ve been thinking about a lot with my therapist actually,” he laughs. “He was saying ‘I am me and you are you.’ I was like… yeah! But you forget. We have to understand our own experience and then understand someone else’s. But we have to try to understand it not through our own emotional… vomit.”

When I ask Sebastian what he does for fun, to unbecome his characters and shed their existential weight, he cites reading (mostly non-fiction) and travel (to see other cultures). “I always feel like I’m not learning enough,” he laughs. You get the sense that this year is a juncture for Stan, always revered for being grounded and likeable, but perhaps waiting for opportunities like these to enrich and express other sides of himself as an actor and voice within culture. “Both of these films came at an interesting time where I’m thinking about if I’m at mid-life, this second half of my life. What is it that I want to be a part of and one day look back and be proud of?”

And that’s not to say fun is off the table for Stan. He’s passionate about laughter as a release in a difficult world. “I think it’s just as important, we have to protect humour,” he tells me with an urgency. “I love comedies, romantic comedies, action.” In fact, there’s a top-secret action movie passion project that he has in the works and hopes will come together in the right way. “There are also things in Marvel I want to do and explore with ol’ Bucky Barnes,” he smiles, presumably in reference to the new Marvel film Thunderbolts, slated for a 2025 release, in which he stars alongside Florence Pugh, Harrison Ford and David Harbour. “Otherwise I just want to keep learning how to be a human being. I’m telling you,” he laughs, “I feel like it’s pretty hard.”

Photography Jim Goldberg Styling Reuben Esser Production Hyperion LA Hair Jamie Taylor using Augustinus Bader Hair Erica Adams Represented by A-Frame Agency

[shanieveh]

back to december 🌙 !

scaramouche x gn!reader | genshin smau

SUMMARY: you were childhood bestfriends with scaramouche, and with many unanswered confessions and one sided goodbyes, you both meet again, but now he wears a cold glance even turning agressive when his eyes wander yours, and it all came down the day he became the top of your class, beating you and rejoicing in success. his smile was because of your pain. maybe you could turn back time where promises actually never broke, and love was a beautiful thing.

GENRE: enemies to lovers, academic rivals, mutual pining, angst, crack, childhood bestfriends, profanity, suggestive

STATUS: [05. 29. 23] on-going

TAGLIST: open

PROFILES— reading club | late night drinking buddies

FLASHBACKS — flashback 1 | flashback 2 | flashback 3

01: how dare him?

02: ocean blue eyes

03: jealousy, jealousy

04: drunken words, sober thoughts

05: selling nfts to billionaires (not a scam)

06: terms of services

07: online therapist

08: stan photomath

09: slaying in the pain

10. the truth is hard, thats what she said

11: x and y aren't the same

12: before you go (emotional)

13: gacha club for intellectuals

14: if bad, why hot?

15: bermuda triangle

16: call it what you want

17: i can never give you peace

18: unsaid actions

19: i feel you forget me

20: i think i've seen this film before

21: how long can we be a sad song?

22: you're losing me

23: whispers of the wind

24: paint me a blue sky

25: letters to my beloved

26: maybe this time

27: long story short

28: memories bring back you

29: september night

30: you held your head like a hero

"dark clouds and stary skies, it was and have always been you... please don't leave us like this."

[we-survive-endlessly]

K-Pop Recap Of 2023!

Tagged By: @toxicrevolver Thanks friend 💚

Groups You Started Stanning?: Most obvious would be my beloved Peak Time groups, but also AB6IX, CIX, and The Boyz!

New Ult Biases?: Hongjoong got promoted from bias to ult bias, so now he’s keeping Taemin and Taeyong company 😂

Idol(s) Who Got The Most Of Your Simping?: Definitely Hongjoong and D1 lol

Most Streamed Group(s): Kingdom, Ateez, DKB, NCT Dream, AB6IX

Most Streamed Soloist(s)?: Taemin, DPR Ian, Woodz, Key, Kang Daniel

Top K-Pop Song(s) Of This Year (Opinion Or Streaming, You Choose): I’m gonna list my most streamed to make it easier on myself. Choosing is hard 😅

Turning Point by DKB (Peak Time Soundtrack)

Bouncy by Ateez

Doesn’t Matter by Sevenus (Peak Time Soundtrack)

Meos (The Real) by DKB (Peak Time Soundtrack)

SOS by Kang Daniel

Long Live The King by Kingdom

Prime Time by Vanner (Peak Time Soundtrack)

Halazia by Ateez

Sober - Remix by DKB

Performer by Vanner

Top Debut This Year: Picking one is too hard 😭 I really loved EVNNE, Hori7on, Lun8, N.ssign, Primrose, Sevenus, Xikers, Xodiac, and Zerobaseone’e debuts!

Choreographies You Learned: I don’t dance, but the choreo for the chorus of Bouncy by Ateez plays in my head every time I hear it. Same with Shalala by Taeyong.

Albums/Merchandise You Bought: Jesus, probably close to 150 albums and I don’t even wanna know how many pcs because it was WAY more than that 😅

New Kpop Mutuals You Made?: Quite a few, and I adore each one of you 💚💚💚

Tagging (no pressure, I have no idea who has already done this): @ambivartence @sunminshine @sunmisbf @onmywayv @the-sunshine-dragon @dkbtho @dakbees @apencilandpen

[wavesoutbeingtossed]

idk if you’re a john mulaney fan or not, but i have to say a lot of the furor surrounding taylor for the past year or so gives me so many similarities between them. both ended publicly beloved long term relationships (that contained some degree of creative collaboration) and entered new higher profile ones that received backlash from their fans towards their new partners (seriously, people still call olivia munn a homewrecker in her insta comments three years after they got together (1)

even after she publicly revealed her battle with breast cancer) and ultimately dispelled these myths their fans wanted to believe about them (for him, that he was happily sober and childfree), and then the art they created in the process (ttpd/baby j) ended up rejecting the tabloid gossip people in exchange for genuinely deconstructing the personas they built for themselves in order to survive (watch his colbert interview from 2020 pre pandemic, he basically calls himself a mirrorball) (2)

I'm casually familiar with John Mulaney (and with the gossip around his breakup with his ex-wife) as in I've seen some of his specials and see him on talk shows but I don't especially follow him.

It's interesting because my first reaction was to say I don't know how similar the situations are (his going to rehab, the allegations that he cheated on his wife with Olivia, the quick rebound, etc.) but I kinda see it now. No matter what, their human foibles end up used as tabloid and gossip fodder and these very human situations (whether they're "mistakes" or not) end up as ammunition against them as people and they all become avatars instead of actual human beings in the eyes of commenters online.

Idk, I used to be extremely cynical of celebrities (and still am to a certain degree) which prevented me from "stanning" anyone (including Taylor for the longest time), and generally with few exceptions my stance was all celebrities were assholes unless proven otherwise. But in the last few years, seeing all the vitriol and absolute brain rot online, I feel for them to a certai point, even if they are assholes lol. People absolutely dehumanize these public figures and for the most part, they're all just some guy or some girl. They may be rich and well known but like... they're made of the same flesh and bone as anyone else and that doesn't make them any more special -- or despicable -- than your average person. Except of course for those who really are terrible people lol. I don't have to agree with their life choices for my own life (e.g. infidelity or whatever) but their lives are theirs and their choices are theirs and it's their mess to untangle.

[qnewsau]

Absolutely Fabulous cast confirm new TV project

New Post has been published on https://qnews.com.au/absolutely-fabulous-cast-confirm-new-tv-project/

Absolutely Fabulous cast confirm new TV project

The cast of Absolutely Fabulous have confirmed they’re reuniting for a TV special over in the UK.

Jennifer Saunders, Joanna Lumley, Jane Horrocks and Julia Sawalha will all appear in the new two-hour project, titled Absolutely Fabulous: Inside Out.

It’s the first time the quartet – who play Eddie, Patsy, Bubble and Saffy – have filmed together since the 2016 film based on the beloved UK sitcom.

The new special will air on British channel Gold later in the year.

Ab Fab creator, writer and star Jennifer Saunders said, “I loved making Ab Fab but I can’t remember a great deal.

“So much of this retrospective is a revelation to me. Thank you Gold for this kind and helpful program.”

But Joanna Lumley said, “It was a fabulous wander down memory lane by actresses who only have the faintest grip on reality.

“Really thrilling, and I hope vastly entertaining. I loved every second.”

Gold’s Ben Wicks said the show “rejoices in all that was wonderful about Ab Fab”.

“[It’s] the most riotously funny show which satirised the era like nothing else whilst taking home more BAFTAs than Bolly in the process,” he said.

“Also it somehow predicted the future: now the whole nation’s parents are drunken embarrassments to their sober and politically enlightened Gen Z kids.”

Jennifer Saunders talks future of Absolutely Fabulous

Absolutely Fabulous debuted in 1992 and became a queer favourite over its run for five series and multiple specials until 2012.

After that, serial procrastinator Jennifer Saunders and her longtime comedy partner Dawn French famously bet £10,000 on whether Jennifer would finish the script for the film.

She did, and Absolutely Fabulous: The Movie came out in 2016.

On French and Saunders’ podcast Titting About in October year, the duo addressed the future of Absolutely Fabulous.

Dawn explained to listeners that she often challenges Jennifer to work when she needs a push to get projects done.

Jennifer Saunders revealed she wanted to finish an initial draft of a new project by the end of 2023.

“I need to write a film or a series based on Ab Fab, because everyone wants another Ab Fab movie,” Jennifer explained.

But she added, “I can’t do that. I just don’t have a thing. I want to do something related.”

Jennifer and Dawn then shook hands, committing Jennifer to work on a “first draft” of something that “includes some Ab Fab-ness, but not totally Ab Fab,” she clarified.

Joanna Lumley touring Australia in October

Meanwhile, Joanna Lumley will embark on her first ever live tour of Australia, Me & My Travels, this October.

She’ll take to the stage in five Aussie cities, sharing stories from her acting career and her global travels as a documentarian.

“Nothing like this has come my way before, and I may have to be dragged off with a hook at the end of each show,” Joanna said.

“This is especially for you from me, with masses of love. I think it will be fabulous.”

Absolutely Fabulous is streaming in Australia on Stan and Binge. Absolutely Fabulous: The Movie is streaming in Australia on Disney+.

For the latest LGBTIQA+ Sister Girl and Brother Boy news, entertainment, community stories in Australia, visit qnews.com.au. Check out our latest magazines or find us on Facebook, Twitter, Instagram and YouTube.

[uwuowotf2waslife]

and enjoy the fic , please im a slut for feedback <3

tw: alcohol cosumption, people being dicks , all platonic like bros do

Notes: English isn’t my first language; this one-shot is based on this tumblr post

Blood, guts & glory can splash on your eyes and hide the reality of living the mercenary lifestyle of Teufort.

Actually, it’s pretty damn monotonous. It’s like an office job, except you actually get to let your frustrations out in a much more healthy way than binge drinking at weekends. Sure it gets messy and quite life threatening, but Medic is always in the run to make sure your bones do in fact stay in their skeleton. It does have a fair share of paperwork, but nowadays what job doesn’t have paperwork...

This particular holiday season, by some grace of unknown ancient god, the Administrator decided that there should be an extended ceasefire, to boost morale and make sure people don’t start demand raises (they already are paid like millionaires, but Spy would like a raise for psychological damages).  Some gossips around the town claim that the Administrator got wooed by a certain Australian business & power man for a very romantic date of hunting and grilling Yetis on the barbie, but it also happened that the gossipers were found buried in shallow graves the next day, so we will never know.

Now before you ask, Christmas is the one of the guaranteed holidays the company actually provides, and quite frankly most of them barely get out of the base during the holidays.

Some exceptions are of course Heavy who will go by rafting to his mom and sisters even for 10 minutes, maybe Engie that in all fairness is pretty close to Bee Cave so he just  gets in his semi and hauls his ass a pretty chill 5 hour drive. Maybe Pyro who may or may not go to some Christmas Raves with their loops in cause rave girlies have some of the best plush game you’ll ever see. Demo prefers to get wasted and call his mom for their beloved sloshed phone call. Sniper makes sure he is very shaved, sober and pumped up before doing a zoom call with his Ma and Pa ( I refuse to accept they died, I can’t see him sad.) Soldier quite frankly is a fire hazard and he is banned from most bars and their Christmas party hour special event, he mostly chills at the Medbay with Medic who is all giggly on Gluhwein. Scout is a big boy and can handle being alone but mostly stays up all night doom scrolling pinterest ( secret Tom Jones stan account) and Spy beside being a major asshole, actually volunteers as Santa ( he can have a mean southern twang if he really wants to).

All was going great until Scout suggested they threw a New Years Eve party, after all they are all stuck in Snowycoast and somehow the power isn’t down yet.

 I mean, they usually just chill around just do a small group chant and go the fuck to sleep, but they never actually celebrated it. Pyro are already out by 9 pm, because dancing and vibing without enhancing substances is a workout worse than a triathlon preparation and in the first years Heavy suffered really bad jet lag.

 For the others New Years Eve stopped being a rager once they hit 30 and unrelenting alcohol consumption and bar crawling. All is peaches and cream, until you wake up in the middle of the dessert so unholy high on peyote without your undies or car keys, or so Sniper claims (his parents will never let it down, the sight of their adult professional unaliver son on stolen tidy whiteys is an image carved like fiery red metal on a fresh chuck of meat). 

But they can wing it; what’s more challenging? Bank heists or making mid Hawaiian punch? 8/9 mercs say the second.

A game plan was easy to be made, they are military men at heart (mainly soldier) and order is second nature to them (they did it to mainly shut up soldier). Heavy and Medic were responsible for the cooking, chicken tendies and mac’nd cheese is great but a hardy Russian stew or some extra spicy german wurst makes the game start rolling better. Spy decided he will be the decorator and Demo the florist…yes he is the barman, much creativity here. Scout and Pyro are just dicking around and pretty much everyone else pretty much acted like a goth tween being forced to go to their family gathering while wearing a bright pink Santa beanie. Except Soldier who is already ranting and raving victorious plans on how this specifically party will be worthy of the president while munching on chalk. Engie is the one tidying up the conference room and making sure the generators are ready for Showtime if the snow cuts them off from civilization.

After some bickering, especially because the wine & whiskey Demo has in his hand-made bar aren’t the cream of the crop, I know shocker, the food is fresh, ready and warm and the punch is fully loaded and ready to be ladled to thirsty sad men & nonbinary DDR destroyers.

By some stroke of luck Spy is feeling extra pezzazy and has sat his royal ass on the piano and softly plays totally classy, elegant music (he is playing wonderwall, he is the fuckboy after all). This night is really looking up. Being the macho manly men they are, Heavy and Soldier decided to play some poker, with beans of course as chips, because it’s silly to take friendly games as a competition.  The spirits got a bit heavy (pun needed here) soon though. Soldier might have the IQ of a feral cat, but he has one hell of a poker face, Heavy is a close second on that ,but he becomes livid fast after gulping down some liters worth of punch. Sooner or later you could hear loud swears in more European languages than expected, while Solly is grinning like a madman with a bed worth of cash in his side. Before even 10 pm our favorite soviet heavy weapons specialist was quintessentially skinned. He is so closed on betting his clothes and earthly possessions but Soldier will laugh at him until the day the sky turns into glue and plop down on unsuspecting souls.

Sniper joined for bit with them, but he is a sore loser when it comes to poker so he took his beans (his cash was gone faster than a deadbeat pressing the get out of state pedal while going out for some milk,) and left the room mumbling swearwords so foul, Engie started blushing. You could find him later, all saltier than a canned tuna in saltwater clutching his trusty RGB keyboard and mouse while blasting the most annoying Christmas songs known in humanities history. He got banned and kicked so many times he had to use a different account, but this is proper New Years Eve to him, finally being the public nuisance he creams to be. Scout at some point came in to pester him; after all there are extremely second hand quality movies on the TV and vomit inducing cheesy segments to watch sober.

Until he got a glimpse of a jar with a certain kid’s toy inside and the scooter-man decided he doesn’t need to fill his mind with whatever filth Sniper is doing. So he did set up camp in the rec room and softly bawled his eyes while clearly soul-empty news broadcaster showed off kitties setting up parties and babies doing barrel rolls.

At some point Pyro entered the room and coaxed scout off the normie entertainment industry for some good old DDR. Although Scout is and will always be a top tier gymnast and marathon runner, Pyro is the one who knows how to dance the Rasputin as hypnotic as the animations. All was going grand until 10.30pm when a very soft but audible ‘pop’ sound broke the instrumental music trance and Pyro saw painful white stars. Medic was called and he openly cackled while he zooped them up with the Medic Gun. With Pyro still sore, they just sat down, munched on some stew and second grade questionably made Gluhwein. Medic being the sentimental gilf of the base actually enjoyed the bland TV program , whilst Scout trying to nurse his crystal fragile ego he made guy noises when something particularly cringe happened.

 Solly was left to his own devices enough that he had a panic attack and as the one man army he is, he made a stable hideout in the corner of the rec room while muttering how Santa is a code word , Christmas is a ritualistic when souls and ghosts come to life and are out on the prowl , how he failed as a soldier and his dad was right for calling him his biggest mistake. Thankfully, Engie heard the commotion and successfully sweettalked his way into Sollys secret military bunker ( three chairs on each side and a desk on top with pillows for sound proofing, and  even more successfully comforted Solly enough to stop eating chalk and drink some water.

 Demo (you bet he was wasted, you are wrong) actually had some quiet time skyping his mom and actually enjoyed hearing about how his cousins had like a bunch of kids, or how the very little ones completed their fist life achievements ( speaking, walking, detonate enough stuff to be in the terrorist registry).  He even cried when mom sent his new nieces baby pictures, she looked so cute! All wrapped up like a garlic sauce kebob fresh out of the kebob mans magic hands.

Spy who we all thought he was still moonlighting as pianist, actually drank some and some more punch and got absolutely bogged. He started having zoomies , running all animalistic up and down the base until the gods of alcohol had enough. Soon he was found vomiting inside a potted plan and was promptly locked up and tied up tight on the rails in the disabled bathroom , Scout wanted to take pictures but he actually fell pretty bad for Spy and even brought him some water and took off his balaclava (with his eyes shut, boy scouts honor). He wanted to ask Engie where the baby monitor was, ( yes they bought a baby monitor for the bread monster baby), but the countdown started and hhe completely forgot about.

Everyone who was not completely cazooted , joined Pyro & Medic while they started the countdown. Heavy was sulking but happily lifted them all up when the clock hit midnight, even throwing the scout high enough to smack his head on the ceiling. At the end of all, no matter red or blue, support or defense, they all share the same joy of living the Gravel War life surrounded with men & man-things that make their life a rainbow’s worth of color and happiness.

Even Medic got moved by the comradery and actually went off to help Spy before he vomited a kidneys worth of humanities worst and best invention.

Happy New Year simps

[cebwrites]

Not X drake angst and the cry of author bringing this x drake stan over ;A; auqhaa my fragile heart can't take angst either gfrvvmpp

A request where x drake, buggy and sanji's s/o asks them "would you still love me if I was a worm" and them actually eating a zoan type worm fruit later on. Pls & thank youuu

us holding hands keeping the dino baby away from the angst and paaaaiiiinnn 😭😭

see now my first thought was one of those 'worm on a string' things, and i know you probably meant like the garden variety worm, but if you go to the circus don't be surprised if you get greeted by a clown, anon <33 (BUGGY STANS RISE UP) the kind of “worm” i'm referencing

"would you still love me if I was a worm" (X Drake, Buggy, Sanji)

gn reader, crack?? yeah this definitely crack words: 0.6k

Drake

Poor, poor Drake

He’s confused when you wake him in the middle of the night with your conundrum, trying his best to console you when you turn away from him and ‘ueeuueee--’ yourself back to sleep after he took too long to process the frankly absurd proposition, he’s trailing question question marks when you’re huffy at him the next day for not taking it seriously, and the man is flat out astral projecting out of his body when the devil fruit incident happens months later

He’s not scared or put off by your transformation, really as a someone living on the Grand Line he should know to expect worse by now, but honestly Drake is so???

This is taking him out at the knees

Drake loves you babes, he really does, he just has NO idea what’s going on and at this point he’s too scared to ask

Buggy

He’s lifting up his head from half a hangover against the table and staring at you like you already had turned into a worm then and there, just-- 

“Babe, what the fuck??”

Buggy isn’t sober enough for this right now, he’d drained his working braincells in a drinking competition with Shanks earlier (he lost) and at best, he’d drag you to bed with him to avoid the conversation

He does find himself coming back to the thought over the next few days though, more consideration than anyone should really be giving it

Not that you’d hear it, but he’s devising a little enclosure for your worm self to live happily and care-free for the rest of their worm life, being tended to by Buggy and Buggy alone

When the actual fruit of the matter comes into play, Buggy is floored, reacting with his usual gusto and loud, overblown gestures at your massive transformation - literally

It’s with no contempt or judgement, of course, but his biggest worry first and foremost is how he’s going to make room for a giant worm (his beloved partner) on the Big Top, even as spacious as they’ve renovated it to be

Once you get a reign on your powers and it’s established that this is something that can be pulled out at will, there’s a resounding sigh of relief across the deck

But still - Buggy lifts you by your waist and spins you around with hands that float away from him; this was great! With a fearsome beast (said with all the love in his goofy little heart, muah muah) at his side, along with all the ‘goons’ he’d recruited along the way, Buggy the Star Clown Emperor was sure to be unstoppable!

He’s a getting a little carried away with it all, but rest assured you can at least take solace in the fact that his opinion and love for you hasn’t changed; whether this is an insult or a testament to your relationship is up for you to decide

Sanji

To be fair, Sanji is the most likely out of the three characters here to ask you that question first - it’s the insecure soggy little meow meow in him

Being asked, he’d shower you in dozens of compliments and reassurances, how you’d still be the most gorgeous worm in the world to him, oh how he’d shower you with the same affection he does day to day, twirling you in his arms and holding you close to ease your worries

In practice, however, he has trouble delivering on those promises

Apparently his fear of creepy crawlies do extend to worms, especially of hulking, 23ft ones with protruding feelers and tusks

Sanji can’t help the reflexive shriek that leaves him when you first transform, his sweet mon chéri now some lumbering eyeless creature from his nightmares

That said, you are still his beloved creme tart, but it’s going to take a long, l o n g while for Sanji to get used to this additional Zoan form of yours

[gaelic-symphony]

For the ask game!

Favorite thing about Tara and Emily? Individually and as a ship?

For Tara:

favorite thing about her: LITERALLY EVERYTHING SHE IS PERFECT but also if I had to pick just one it's probably her emotional intelligence.

least favorite thing about her: the fact that she joined the team when the show was already starting to go downhill in terms of writing quality and storylines, so we didn't get to see her during some of the best CM episodes and arcs.

favorite line: "Brian, hi, I'm SSA Lewis. I guess you could say I'm the woman behind the woman, if you know what I mean."

brOTP: LUKE AND TARA!!!!!

OTP: TEMILY TEMILY TEMILY obvs

nOTP: There aren't really a lot of popular Tara ships, so I don't think I really have one, but the fact that her character was originally conceived as a love interest for Spencer makes me gag a little bit.

random headcanon: Her birthday is April 22.

unpopular opinion: Her wig in seasons 12-13 was actually really cute. It wasn't as good as her hair in 14-15 or in Evolution, but it was a good look for her, and it framed her face really nicely.

song i associate with her: Put Your Records On by Corinne Bailey Rae

favorite picture of her

AISHA KNEW EXACTLY WHAT SHE WAS DOING HERE

For Emily:

favorite thing about her: Her fierce loyalty and desire to protect the people she loves

least favorite thing about her: In canon, the fact that she dates men. In fanon, interpretations of her that turn an intelligent, competent, multilingual Yale graduate into a bumbling idiot who just exists to cause chaos.

favorite line: "I've got a Glock leveled at your crotch. What's to stop me from taking you and the little ones out right now?"

brOTP: her and Morgan

OTP: TEMILY MY MOST BELOVED

nOTP: Any time Emily is shipped with a man it is a lesbophobic hate crime, but Hotchniss is by far the worst. The very existence of that ship makes me violently ill. I need a stronger term than NoTP to describe just how egregiously terrible it is.

random headcanon: Her two tattoos are a Vonnegut quote on her ribcage and a flower on her hip.

unpopular opinion: Most of the fandom simply doesn't deserve her. Outside of our little circle of Emily stans, fanon interpretations of Emily are almost always OOC and usually rooted in misogyny.

song i associate with her: Galileo by the Indigo Girls

favorite picture of her

For Temily:

favorite thing about them: The way they are both exactly what the other one needs. Tara gives Emily safety and stability to feel like she never has to run or put up walls, and the way Emily thrives and flourishes with Tara helps her take herself a little less seriously, heal from the trauma of her marriage, and realize that Daryl's self-destructive tendencies and inability to get sober with her were not in any way her fault.

least favorite thing about them: The fact that they are technically not canon

favorite line: "I really wish I could clone you." "Well, that's because I'm so delightful."

random headcanon: Emily's side of the bed is the left, and Tara's is the right.

unpopular opinion: Temily is a much better ship than Jemily.

song i associate with them: At Last by Etta James, which was their first dance at their wedding

favorite picture of them

[milf-harrington]

hii i was tagged by @sifutoph and my beloved @zukkaoru to spell out my url with song titles! <3

C - crazy rap, afroman

A - abcdefu, GAYLE

P - tennessee whiskey, stan walker + parson james

T - two minutes, the amazing devil

S - september, earth wind & fire

N - not havin a blast, demi the daredevil

O - outmatched, reinaeiry

O - orgasm addict, buzzcocks

Z - zero zero, gerard way

L - let it out, tgwdlm

E - everywhere i go, hollywood undead

S - sober, fidlar

i deadass just scrolled through my liked songs and grabbed the first songs with the right letters lmao

uhh i dont know who's been tagged so im just going to tag people and you don't have to do it!! @dalloweenmp3 @that-was-anticlimactic @matcherry @boomerang109 @hella1975 @/ anyone who also prefers the show version of 'whoreson prison blues' over the studio version eventhough the studio version is also excellent @/sword enjoyers @/bisexuals (hii)

[et-lesailes]

nice & tight

pairing: mobster!steve x virgin!reader

word count: 4283

summary: you are best friends with steve’s stepdaughter, but you’ve had a crush on steve for as long as you can remember-- despite his notorious reputation as a gang leader.

themes: smut, age gap

taglist:@evanstush, @tanyam93, @bval-1, @wonderwinchester, @patzammit, @rohaintahquil, @deidrashouseofpain, @sammyslonglostshoe, @jadedhillon, @bohemian-barbie, @whysparker, @sebastian-i-stan, @sebabestianstan101, @lille-kattunge, @teller258316, @peach-acid, @allsortsofinterests, @xoxabs88xox, @heyiamthatbitch, @cptn-sgrogers, @heyyouwiththeassbutt, @bangtan-serendipity, @troublermalik, @beardburnsupersoldiers, @hannie-stark, @bookish-shristi, @kind-sober-fullydressed, @whores4thor, @gingerninjaprincess16​, @straightforwardly​,  @denisemarieangelina​,  @frencchfries​, @xlanawriter​, @littlemoistcarrot​, @pottxrwolff​, @arianatheangelworld​, @ifuseekamyevans​, @southerngracela​, @nsfwsebbie​, @rororo06​, @savemesteeb​

notes: patreon saw it first! be sure to join if you’d like early access to my one shots as well as unreleased ones as well ~ i hope you guys like this, i know it’s been a while since i’ve posted a good ol’ smutty fic! graphic creds go to @thewritingdoll​!

You were sitting at the pool with your legs dangling in the water, though you weren’t interested in the partying going on before you. While everyone was drunkenly dancing around the massive yard or engaging in a huge chicken fight in the water, your eyes were casually flickering towards the windows of the mansion, teeth tugging on your lower lip.

You practically grew up in the Rogers’ household. Your own parents were often away on business trips, and your best friend Ciara Rogers basically ended up becoming your sister when her mother and stepfather extended their home to you whenever your parents were traveling for long periods of time. However, Ciara’s stepfather was not any normal working man. 

Steve Rogers was a mobster, and a damn good one at that. He was the head honcho of his crew of men, hence the reason he had the money to buy and maintain such a huge home. Even the police in the area wouldn’t dare mess with him, and it wasn’t as though they had reason to- whatever Steve did, he was clever about doing it. He’d leave not one piece of evidence or reason to be suspicious, and so he got away with pretty much… anything.

You didn’t know exactly what he did. He wouldn’t particularly be sharing these details over a family dinner with his young stepdaughter and her friend. Whatever it was, he wanted his family out of it, and that was understandable. Still, no matter what his occupation was, you couldn’t help yourself- you had had a crush on the man since you were practically twelve, finding him to be exciting yet gentlemanly at the same time. You followed him around like a little puppy, and he simply found it cute and amusing. Ciara wasn’t even fazed; she had been raised in the gang life ever since she was a baby. She had seen relationships and sexual endeavors much worse and far more messed up- her own parents’ marriage was actually an open one, and so she had been used to each of them having other partners her entire life. Whenever she’d catch you staring at her dad, she’d simply laugh, roll her eyes and shake her head to herself. 

Now, however, you were nineteen. A nineteen-year-old virgin, to be exact, and there was only one person whom you wanted to fix that. The kitchen lights turned on and your own eyes lit up as well. You stood up, looking down at your body. You had worn your skimpiest bikini, and it certainly wasn’t for the college boys who had been ogling you all night. Glancing around and seeing that Ciara was busy making out with someone clearly at least ten years older than her, you shook off the water from your feet before making your way to the door to the kitchen.

There stood Steve wearing nothing but a black wifebeater and jeans, rubbing his bearded jaw as he opened the fridge-- probably looking for a beer, no doubt. He grumbled something incoherently and you made a point of closing the door behind you for him to hear, a light smirk upon your face. “Sorry, the boys probably got to ‘em. There’s more bottles in the fridge in the garage, though, Ciara and I made sure to keep the garage door shut so your cars wouldn’t get ruined.” He turned to you, eyebrow raised in slight amusement. “Am I that much of an alcoholic that you knew I was looking for a beer?” he spoke in a naturally gruff tone, and you shamelessly nodded your head-- this was someone you had practically lived with for years, you didn’t have to try to be polite. “What can I say? I know you pretty well.” You murmured, making your voice as silky and airy as possible. Your eyes couldn’t help but wander over his muscled arms; even his pecs were practically rippling through the thin piece of clothing covering his chest. Could Ciara really blame you for being so attracted to him? The man could snap you in half with one hand, and for some damn reason, you loved that.

“Wanna walk with me?” you asked before he could respond, smiling innocently. “I was gonna get a drink too.” You took the opportunity to go ahead first, blatant about wiggling your ass in your tiny bikini bottoms for him as he followed behind. It would be too obvious to look back and see if he was staring, but God, you hoped he was. You wanted him to see you as an adult. Not the little girl who rushed to sit next to him at dinner or asked him about a million questions a day just for the purpose of talking to and being near him. The two of you entered the large garage and you switched the lights on, revealing his several prized luxury vehicles. You weren’t even the type of girl who was attracted to materialistic things, but you’d be lying if you didn’t think it was sexy that Steve had so much money. 

“You didn’t seem like you were having too much fun out there.” Steve noted, leaning against the wall as you opened the fridge. “Mm? Were you watching me?” you asked nonchalantly, though you were secretly delighted. Was he finally coming around to the fact that you were a woman now? If not, you now had the opportunity to prove it even more-- his beloved beer was on the bottom shelf, and so you did not hesitate to bend over to reach for two bottles. 

A scoff escaped his throat, his blues lingering on your ass shamelessly. “Bit hard not to when you’re strutting around in nothing but a few strings holding everything together.” He replied boldly, and you barely widened your eyes though couldn’t help but feel triumphant. So he did notice your body. You straightened back up and turned to face him, your demeanor cool and slightly seductive. “Would you rather me wear a turtleneck to a pool party?” you teased, handing him the bottle. He smirked, nodding for you to follow him back into the kitchen. “Maybe if it’s a party of horny, inexperienced boys, yeah. I don’t think they even know how to handle themselves around you, sweetheart.” 

The word “inexperienced” stood out, suddenly making you feel a little self-conscious. What would he think when he found out you were, too? Sure, you had done other stuff with boys in the past, but would he think it was lame that you were a virgin? He was a gang leader, for Christ’s sake, he probably had perfect, sexually talented girls all over him every single week. However, you quickly shook the thoughts away. Ciara had once told you that men loved virgins. They loved how tight they were, and they loved the idea of taking away their innocence. You hoped this applied to Steve.

“What do you mean?” you asked, curious nonetheless; he took a bottle opener from a drawer and motioned for you to hand yours over, and you obliged. “I mean they probably think squeezing a girl’s tits like a goddamn sponge or practically scooping her vagina out with their fingers makes her orgasm.” He answered bluntly, opening your bottle and sliding it back over the marble island before opening his own. “Those schoolboys wouldn’t know what to do with a girl like you even if you gave ‘em a fucking manual.”

You took the bottle, taking a sip before nonchalantly leaning to rest your elbow on the counter, purposefully squeezing your chest together in your bikini. “A girl like me?” you repeated, your voice a little softer as you looked up at him with a small smirk. “And what kind of girl am I, Steve?” He studied you for a few moments, his eyes slightly darker as he stepped closer to you. Your heart was pounding now. Were you finally going to get your chance tonight? No, you couldn’t get your hopes up. You had been trying for this ever since you turned eighteen, and nothing yet. You were starting to think Steve simply wasn’t into significantly younger women, or perhaps he saw you as too much of a daughter figure.

“The kind of girl that’s been a little fucking tease, and clearly trying to get me in trouble with my wife.” Steve replied, his voice an octave lower as his eyes locked onto yours-- you almost had to look away from how intense they were. “Oh, please,” you whispered, trying to sound as confident as possible. “I know you guys have an open marriage. I’ve literally seen her giving head to your damn pool boy.” You retorted, straightening your body but remaining close to his. “She wouldn’t care.”

“Mm. You’re different.” He hummed, his voice still low as he took a sip of his beer, though kept his eyes on you afterwards. “You’re her daughter’s best friend. Which, I see, doesn’t seem to be of any concern to you…?” he remarked; at first, you felt a pang of guilt, but as you looked up into his eyes, you didn’t see any disgust or sense of reprimanding. 

If you were reading him right, he was... turned on by this.

“It’s not.” You murmured straightforwardly, reaching for your beer and taking a large gulp before stepping even closer to him, boldly reaching out to run your fingers over his muscular biceps. Your heart was still racing, but your gut was telling you that this was going to work. “She doesn’t have to know. And even if she did find out, we both know she’s seen and done a lot worse.” To be honest, you weren’t quite sure how Ciara would react. Sure, she tolerated your crush on her father, but she probably didn’t think you’d ever act on it. The guilt came back for a second, but when Steve suddenly leaned down close, every thought in your brain disappeared. “As her father, I should probably be more concerned about what exactly you’re referring to when you say that, but you’re so fucking naughty you’re distracting me from even that responsibility.” He growled into your ear, and you had to physically force yourself to breathe normally. “Yeah? And do you have a problem with that?” you whispered, slowly turning your head to face his. Your lips were now inches apart, and at this point, if he didn’t have his way with you, you’d be mad. His eyes were practically boring through your own, almost as if testing your confidence and boldness to go through with this-- and you weren’t going to fail. You stared right back, even slowly running your tongue over your lips. “The only problem I have right now, darling,” he drawled deeply, “is that I’m rock hard because of you and you’re not doing anything about it.”

Before you knew it, he was scooping you up into his arms, lips on yours in an almost violent kiss as he easily carried you towards the staircase. You gasped in surprise but did not hesitate to kiss him back, happily allowing him access when his tongue pushed its way into your mouth. You slid one hand down to rub his bulge, and you almost squeaked in the middle of the kiss; he was certainly not lying about being hard, and he already felt big. You were starting to wonder what you had gotten yourself into, but you were immensely turned on at the same time.

He carried you into his grand master bedroom, kicking the door shut behind him and locking it. “You know,” he murmured as he tugged on your lower lip with a devious smirk, “my wife has a rule about bringing other partners into the bed, but I’m going to make you an exception.” You couldn’t help but giggle breathlessly, letting out a squeal when he suddenly tossed you onto the bed. You sat on your knees, looking up at him with flushed cheeks. “Oh? What did I do to deserve such an honor?” you teased, slowly playing with the strings of your bikini top. He watched hungrily, eyes remaining on your breasts as he muttered, “Oh, I don’t know, persistently tease the fuck out of me for the past year?”

You blinked, looking up at him hopefully. “You noticed?” He scoffed as he stepped closer, unbuckling his pants and palming at his bulge through his briefs with a low grunt. “Of course I fucking noticed. The way you’d wiggle that perfect ass just for me to see, or how you’d change with the door wide fuckin’ open. You were only being a little damn obvious.” He lowered his underwear and you couldn’t even respond to his observations-- you were too focused on being utterly shocked by his large, throbbing erection. It was safe to say you were a little intimidated.

He noticed this and smirked proudly, cocking his head as he suddenly tangled his fingers in your hair. “What’s the matter, sweetheart? You’re not too scared now, are you?” he teased with mock sympathy, his other hand pumping his shaft. “No!” you instantly exclaimed, a little too fast. He barely lifted a brow and you cleared your throat. “N-no, no, I’ve just… never seen one as big as yours before…” You mentally cursed to yourself; you needed to tell him you were a virgin, especially if he was using that thing-- there was no way you wouldn’t bleed. He didn’t seem to catch on. “Of course you haven’t. You’re so used to those scrawny boys too busy spending Mommy and Daddy’s money to pleasure a girl instead of knowing how to use their damn bodies. Has anyone even been able to make you finish before, princess?”

You bit your lip. Sure, you had been fingered and eaten out, but you had never reached your climax. He was right; the boys you were used to were useless. “I’ll take that as a no.” Steve stated after simply seeing your expression, shaking his head to himself before suddenly nodding authoritatively. “Well. Looks like we’ve got to make up for lost time, then.” He pushed you onto your back on the bed, hovering over you as he moved his mouth down to your neck, sucking roughly. You gasped in pleasure, tilting your head and letting out little whimpers-- and then you suddenly felt his fingers brush up your bare thigh, reaching your bikini bottoms and rubbing at your entrance slowly yet firmly. You couldn’t help but moan, tilting your head back and gripping the bedsheets with curled fists. You were so damn sensitive as it was, and with how skilled he appeared to be with the simplest of movements, you had the feeling he was definitely going to stick to his word. “That’s right, baby. Moan for me. Tell me you like it. Are you all wet for me?” he growled into your skin, and you nodded desperately as you rubbed your thighs together. “Y-yes, yes Steve, I’m wet! P-please, I want your fingers…”

He chuckled deeply and moved the skimpy piece of swimwear aside, rubbing your clit with his thumb. “Patience, baby girl. Patience. I’m going to teach you how a real man does it.” You widened your eyes, moans becoming louder as he toyed with the highly responsive bundle of nerves, your breathing becoming airier. He pulled back to watch your face, clearly turned on from what he was seeing. “Damn. Those boys really had no idea what they were doing. How did they even fuck you, flop around on top of you like a dead fucking fish?” You were in too much of a daze to even feel nervous about the subject being brought up-- he soon pushed a finger inside you, pumping slowly as his thumb still flicked your clit. “Fuck. You are tight.” He noted with a low growl, his eyes studying your facial features as he moved his broad finger deeper. You could only reply with a whimper, barely beginning to rock your hips. He smirked and inserted another finger; you were only in discomfort for a few seconds before he began moving them expertly, letting you adjust. “Steve!” you gasped, instinctively reaching down to grip his wrist, though you were not trying to stop him. “Th-that… that feels good… m-more, please,” you begged, completely shocked; you had no idea that fingering could actually feel… nice. You really had been played by boys who had no idea what they were doing.

He kept pumping faster and deeper, fondling your clit even harder than before. “Mm fuck, you like that, don’t you sweetheart? You gonna cum for me, you naughty girl? Come on, let go. Show me how good that made you feel.” Your whines became more high pitched as you felt yourself getting close, your walls clenching around him and your back lifting off the mattress; you let yourself release with a loud gasp, completely breathless as you stared at him in awe. He simply removed his fingers nonchalantly, sticking them into his mouth and sucking as he looked at you with a cocky smirk. “Fucking delicious. I think I need more. But you know what I also need?” 

He moved to your side to lay on his back, grabbing you and pulling you on top of him. You let out a little squeal, breathing heavily as you stared down at his face. “Wh-what?” you asked, and he smirked, making a “turn around” gesture with his finger demandingly. “Your lips wrapped around my cock, baby girl.” You almost let out a sigh of relief, glad to avoid the subject of your virginity for just a little longer-- you were great at blow jobs, you could handle this. You turned around, your ass hovering over his face as you leaned forward to pump him with a little smirk. “Yes, sir,” you purred, delighted to already hear the little grunts escaping his lips. You leaned down and gave his bulbous tip small kitten licks, making a point to wiggle your butt for him as you slowly began to take him into your mouth. Fuck, he was thick, but you were desperate to please him as much as you could. You hollowed your cheeks, bobbing your head up and down fitting in as much of him as you could. He brought his hands up to your ass, lowering your bottoms to squeeze and grope hard making you moan along his shaft, sending vibrations up his length; he groaned as he bucked his hips upwards, muttering in an almost guttural growl, “That’s it, baby girl, fuck you’re so good.”

Thriving off his praise and noises of approval, you kept sucking him off, your tongue up the vein along his underside-- and then you suddenly felt him pull your ass down, your mouth releasing his dick with a ‘pop’ in surprise. “Ste-” you started to question, but you lost your voice as you felt his tongue swipe across your wet slit, your body shuddering slightly. “O-oh…”

“Keep going, baby,” he commanded, his tongue flicking at your entrance teasingly, “but relax your body. Ride my face like a good girl so I can have another taste.” You lowered your butt obediently, feeling somewhat bad to be smothering him, but you soon realized he was clearly not bothered by this. As you took him back into your mouth, he slowly pushed his tongue inside, moving it around lightly yet skillfully as he explored your wetness. His hands were still roughly palming at your ass, even slapping each cheek every now and then. You loved and hated it at the same time; you were the one who wanted to be giving him pleasure, and now you were very much distracted by that thanks to him. You did your best to focus as you pumped his base, playing with his balls as you sucked hard; when you felt his lips suck at your clit, though, you almost lost it. “Steve!” you let out a muffled moan, mouth half off his length, and he simply groaned in response, attacking it even harder. You came and you blushed feeling him lap it all up, your legs quivering slightly. You had never experienced anything like this before; he made you cum before you made him, despite the fact you were literally sucking his dick? You suddenly questioned your talents and experience, feeling nervous again. What if you were the worst he’d ever had? 

Almost as if he read your mind, he let out a little groan as he felt your hand work his base, your lips wrapped around his thick length. “Shit, sweetheart. As wonderful as your mouth is, I’m not interested in coming there. For now, anyways.” He sat up and you took your mouth off obediently, shifting to get back on your knees on the bed looking up at him breathlessly. The way he was looking at you was practically carnal- fuck, you had to speak now. He removed his shirt with one swift movement, then grabbed you and pushed you down on your back again, hovering over your smaller frame with a devious smirk as he pumped himself. “I’ve been waiting for this for a while now, you know that? You grew up to be so fucking sexy, it’s been driving me crazy.”

“Steve,” you suddenly blurted out, looking up at his face (which proved to be very challenging considering the fact his glorious abs were now revealed), “I-I’ve never… um… had sex before…” you practically whispered the last part, but he heard it. He blinked, his expression changing slightly, the smirk fading. “You’re a virgin, baby girl? Fuck.” He muttered, though he did not move as he stared down into your eyes. “Why didn’t you say anything?” 

“I-- I thought if you knew, you wouldn’t find me attractive,” you admitted shyly, slowly reaching up to hold onto his biceps. “But I want to do this, Steve, I swear, I want you to be my first. Please. You said yourself, the boys I know wouldn’t know how to handle me, right? So you do it, you show me how it’s done, I-- I know you’ll make me feel good.” He looked down at you somewhat incredulously, letting out a soft scoff. “You thought I wouldn’t find you attractive? Hm. Baby.” He shook his head to himself. “I can’t think of anything better than being able to fuck that sweet, tight pussy and have you cum over and over for me again, whether you’re a virgin or not. As long as you’re giving me the okay.” He reached over to the nightstand, opening the drawer and taking out a bottle. “But I think we might need this.” You watched him open the lube with wide eyes, whispering, “Is it going to hurt?”

He looked down at you honestly, nodding his head murmuring naturally gruff, “A little. But I’ll make it feel good, sweetheart, I promise. You trust me, don’t you?” You immediately nodded your head. “Yes. Yes, I do. I-- I want you to fuck me, Steve, please.”

He was right-- it definitely hurt. He had been generous with the lube, considering the size of his length, but it took a while for him to enter even slightly deeper inside you; you were extremely tight and sensitive, after all, but he managed to be patient. His teeth were grit and his jawline was tense as he watched you, moving his hand to wipe tears from your cheek. “Do you want me to stop?” he asked, and you shook your head immediately. “N-no, no, I’ll be fine.” You took a deep breath, just barely rocking your hips, letting yourself get used to his size.

It wasn’t long before you found out he was right again. It felt good. It felt great. He was soon moving his hips harder and faster and you were gladly rocking yours back against his, gasping and moaning in ecstasy as you tilted your head back. You didn’t care if anyone heard you, though you doubted it; his room was facing the front, and besides, the music playing for the party in the backyard was loud. All you cared about was him fucking you, making you feel euphoric with every thrust and groan that escaped from the back of his throat. “You’re so goddamn tight baby, fuck it feels good,” he growled, moving his hand to practically push up your bikini top and massage your breasts. “Shit, even your tits are perfect. I’m pissed at myself for not doing this sooner, you know that?” You could only moan in response, arching your back towards him as he toyed with your nipple in his fingers. He smirked weakly, pounding into you even harder. “God, I love watching you come undone just for me, baby girl… I don’t think I’ll ever get tired of it.” 

You were a breathless mess by the end of it all. Your orgasm ripped through you, your moans practically becoming screams, your nails digging into his bare back. He groaned loudly and pulled out, releasing his load all over your torso. You were panting as your eyes drifted along the thick, white streaks upon your stomach, slowly lying your arms down by your sides as you caught your breath. He moved to lay by your side, a smirk crossing his lips as he admired your features, clearly pleased you were so worn out because of him. “How was that for your first time, hm, sweetheart?”

You slowly turned your face towards him, your eyes staring at him in amazement as you tried to control your breathing. “I couldn’t have imagined it any better,” you whispered, smiling in excitement. “Thank you.”

[1moreoffkeyanthem]

Actually so fucking fr crying writing the dialogue between Stan and his AA sponsor like the everything about this man. He’s so damn cool. He’s like 60 years old, doesn’t know how technology works, knows Stan super well and how he operates, the older crew at their chapter calls Stan Superman which is probably the most adorable headcanon I’ve ever come up with, Moose is keeping Stan company while Kyle picks up his prescription, MAN IM READY TO FINISH THIS AND DROP IT BUT THERES SO MUCH I WANNA PUT IN

[lovecolibri]

Things that Spark Joy-3x06

HOW ARE WE DOING MALEX FAM?! This episode was so good and so much fun and it really felt like things were moving along! I’m so excited to flail over all the good stuff we got! As per usual, salt is over here, now, on to the good stuff!

I loved the opening starting with “nothing is ever as it seems” which tied into Tyler’s interview and into the theme of the episode.

Isobel continues to make alien jokes and it cracks me up every time. 🤣 Plus as much as I am over the vision plot, having the “spooky” scene and Isobel making a ouija board was fun. I also liked getting to see her and Rosa together again, as much as story wise it’s an odd choice, Amber and Lily work well together, and Isobel giving an “alien puberty” talk was hilarious. But we also got that great interaction of “I thought when I got sober life would get easier”, and “It never does, we just get stronger.” We also got a little closure on Noah which was nice.

Rosa’s little earmuffs!! She’s such a great character and I’m glad we’re getting to see so much of her this season. “I’m not the girl I was a year ago.” Girl, yes! We see that growth, and we love it! I’m so excited to see her working with Michael on controlling her powers which honestly should have happened last season, but I’m happy to be getting it now. And after 3x05 we know Vlamis and Amber can work so well together! I’m loving Rosa getting new and interesting powers too, and Mimi referring to her as an alien was interesting to say the least! Especially since there was no connection to her when Max was killing both Liz and Kyle. I’m enjoying the show giving us all this alien lore and I can’t wait to find out more!

Liz swearing at lab equipment is such a mood and one of the things I love about her character that makes her seems so real. We got a glimpse of Science Bros Liz and Mikey and I can’t wait for them to get the whole team (which includes Kyle) back together! I also loved that Liz was picking up on things not being quite right and how she can tell the “Max” is lying to her. Her figuring out it was Jones was so fun because WE knew (or were pretty darn sure) but it was still exciting to be proven right.

Speaking of, Nathan is kinda killing it with Jones! He is such a fascinating character! I was so disappointed we didn’t get any mistaken identity shenanigans when Jones was out the first time so I was thrilled to get a second shot that that. He also keeps getting the good lines! “Who are you?” “Now that’s a complicated question.” and “You say never bring a knife to a gun fight. We’ll see about that.” He’s just so much fun in an evil way and I’m loving this plotline and I’m happy that it’s finally starting to ramp up. I thought Jones was using Lucky to track down more bad men for him to drain with his power but he just killed them with the sword (not suspicious at all my dude) so I wonder if he can absorb the power through the sword or if he just wanted to kill some people. I can’t wait to get more alien info. Leaning into the sci-fi part of the show has been such a good choice and is really helping make this season fun, fresh, and interesting.

LUCKY!! I was so worried something had happened to him and I’m glad he’s okay but like...Maybe get him away from Jones? He shouldn’t have to see violence like that, he’s just a sweet little boy! 😭😭😭 You know who could use a dog? Alex. Or at the very least Michael. I’m sure the junkyard could use a pupper around!

SANDERS!! Grouchy old man, my beloved! I love that he called Michael out on his BS deflecting about Alex and he’s clearly been in the know for quite some time. We love to see it! Also the fact that he makes it clear it was obvious? Teasing Michael about his love life? Also being smart and helping Michael calm down and focus so he can get answers? Being a zoologist apparently? We have no choice but to stan.

 The Alex and Liz talk was SO GOOD! They definitely need to interact more and them taking the time to talk about how great Kyle is and how when they are struggling they turn to him for advice?! 😭😭😭 I’m hoping we get more of that dynamic because it’s been sorely lacking, but also, they really need a Kyle buffer to make sure they don’t both become evil geniuses and take over the world! 🤣 Liz imitating Kyle was hilarious too. I’m so happy she’s moving more to the forefront of the season (finally).

This episode gave us some great sassy and BAMF Alex moments as well and I am LOVING it! It’s a shame we had to wait so long to really kick off this Deep Sky plot but man did it kick off this episode! I caught that glimpse of the alien symbol from that sneak peek picture of Alex in a barn so I’m excited to see where that leads! Alex handling the lab tech was great, and his little “I hacked the medical database. And the Department of Defense” said with that cocky smirk?! We LOVE to see it! We are getting confident, sassy, bad ass hacker Alex back and I’m SO excited.

Also, the sheer number of delightful memes to come out of Eduardo asking Alex if he believes in aliens is *chef’s kiss*

NGL Ramos had me thinking he was a good guy with all his talk about wanting to start a conversation with aliens and not being afraid of the mysteries of the universe and telling Alex he’s not his father and not to lose faith in himself. I also think it’s fascinating that he mentions at this point that he joined for personal reasons, just like Alex. He could be talking about Jesse and the family legacy, but I’m sure he knows more about aliens than he’s telling just yet. Now we all saw the gun moment, but we also know he’s supposed to open up and share some info with Alex and with that big reveal (My notes here just say “UNCLE EDUARDO?!” 🤣 Poor Kyle, he has GOT to stop learning about relatives this way), I’m wondering if Eduardo is a good guy and is concerned Alex is more like Jesse and wants to hunt aliens, and once they get past that hurdle he won’t be so bad. I just want Alex to have ONE (1) good father figure in his life, is that too much to ask?!

Michael “Not a zoologist” Guerin my beloved!!! We got Soft!Michael, Sassy!Michael, Genius!Michael, Heart Eyes!Michael, Soft Sweater!Michael, Nerd!Michael, we got ALL of the Michaels this episode! I am honestly flabbergasted Alex was able to look at Michael being all nerdy and adorable and looking SO good, and making eyes at him without jumping his bones! He is so giddy and excited and working so hard to find answers and I just love him so much. Him lifting the pieces of the radio up and putting them back together with his mind?! Following the bat trail and finding Deep Sky all on his own?! Calling Alex just to gloat about being right?! I am loving what we are seeing for Michael this season and letting him be smart and use that brain is exactly what I’ve been wanting and this episode delivered. Also we got Michael being like, “Oh noooo! something vaguely related to technology? I’d better call Alex right away!” Girl, we all know you just want an excuse to call Alex, and that’s very valid of you.

This deserves it’s own bullet point because did you see Michael in that sweater?! His arms look so buff? And his hair is so wild and soft looking?! If him and Alex don’t get at least one hug when Michael is in a soft sweater I’m going to riot.

OKAY, now that everything else is out of the way, lets talk about MALEX!! I have some other thoughts about their scene that will be in the not-sparking-joy post but that’s (as always) down to the writing. But GOD did Vlamis and Tyler deliver as always! I love that we got to see Michael having to explain how radio waves work to Jones!Max, but Alex leads with that information and you can just feel the way Michael lights up at that.  We also got Michael reaching out, and then when Alex arrives asking directly and clearly for help. The growth we are seeing in that alone is so wonderful. And then poor Alex, thinking he killed all those bats messing around with the machine and thinking Michael will follow HIS trail instead of Kyle’s, only to realize that the two might be connected and the sheer panic that Michael is going to stumble on something dangerous. I am READY for them to be friends and to stop talking in circles (maybe a life or death situation will help things along next week?!), but I think we’re getting there. Slower than I think all of us would like, but it’s coming, I can feel it! Also, that phone call at the end was shot so well, with Michael leaving the message and switching to Alex listening to it and now I’m soooo excited to see what happens next week! 

[eliana-dreams]

Okay sis, what are some newsies fanfics that have messed you up (like in a good way)? I need some angst inspo for a fic I’m writing, so please drop some stories below that I can go read. Like dark, emotional-rollercoaster types, either from the broadway musical or the ‘92 movie. I trust your opinion!!

love your blog’s aesthetic 💗

Hi love! I’m not the best person to ask about fanfics, because I’m the worst at reading, like my attention span is nonexistent. But the few that I have read in the Newsies fandom have stuck with me. As I’m more familiar with fanfiction.net than ao3, that’s where the majority of stories I read are from. I’ll list the stories, authors, and a brief review:

on fanfiction.net:

No More Random Goils - by foreverkneeld - So, this was one of the first ones I read, and this story put me through it. It’s so well-written, and the main character (Jeans) is one of the most likeable OC’s I’ve come across in a while. And if you’re a big Spot Conlon stan, and want to read a story where he falls for someone who enjoys challenging herself and won’t put up with his bs, this is right up your alley. This story had a lot of layers, and I found myself blazing through it in only a few sittings, it was so good. It’s been a few years since I’ve read it, and I’m really tempted to go back and read it again. Angst rating: 4.5. This had its angsty moments, but it was overall light, and I loved every minute of it!

A Wonderful Caricature of Intimacy - by Glimmer Conlon O’Leary - Aw, this one hit me right in the feels when I first read it. All about girlsies in Queens struggling to hold onto their turf, resorting to diplomatic games and strategic moves involving a notorious Brooklyn newsie ;) The author did an amazing job with developing multi-dimensional characters, and I became attached to all of them by the end. Again, it’s been a minute since I’ve read this one, but I remember the plot being really creative and immersive and I’ll have to go back and read it! Angst rating: 5. There were a few intense scenes, but nothing crazy. Very good writing!

Subtle Like - by skinflint - This story only has 3 chapters (plus an introduction), but those chapters are powerful. Without giving anything away, I’ll just say it paints some of our beloved newsies in a very different light, sort of a ‘what if they were capable of bad things,’ and the author does a very good job with little material. Talk about effective writing. This one was gritty. Angst rating: 8. Though very brief, it got dark real fast.

Time To Go Slumming - by bexlynne - Alright, this one hasn’t been updated for a while, but it’s definitely worth checking out! I was so invested in this story (still am), and the author does an incredible job making you care about the characters. It’s another Brooklyn-centered story, but it’s not your typical Spot Conlon characterization. Big props to the author for creating such cosmopolitan OC’s, so realistic and dynamic. It takes place a little before the strike (so far), and it shows how different the Brooklyn newsies have it compared to the ones over in ‘Hattan. Definitely more bleak. Angst rating: 7.5. I genuinely cared about what happened to the characters in this story.

Through Thick and Thin - by Emador - Ahhhh this is one of my favorites, truly. This story was heart-wrenching, and a good one to read if you want to cry. It follows a girl who is very important in Skittery’s life, she’s Tumbler’s older sister, and she has an unsettled past that catches up to her. It’s so realistic and period-accurate, and honestly it feels like an actual novel. She faces a lot of hard decisions, and throughout the whole thing manages to win the sympathy of the reader. The writing is above and beyond, and the author knows how to put you in your feelings. Angst rating: 9.5. Bonus points for all the dramatic realism! Someone did their historical research :)

on ao3:

Hell is a Sober Crawl - by glitter_ink - Damn, when I say this one hurts, this fucked me up. It’s about Jack’s first time in the refuge & leaving his sister behind. He meets all these prisoners ranging from lost souls to cold killers. The author incorporates themes like drug addiction/withdrawal & mental illness & what it’s like to deal with that in the refuge. For example, one of the guys Jack meets is an opium addict, another gets tuberculosis, another is a sociopath. Jack learns what it is to be a leader. It jumps between then and 1899, showing how his sister is affected by Jack’s past. Very depressing, but very well-done. Angst rating: 10. Another period-accurate one. Will make you want to throw hands with Snyder.

I hope this helped, and good luck with your story-writing!!

[extremelyblackandwhite]

i wanna know what love is - 07

Pairing: rockstar! sebastian stan x writer!reader

Warnings: fertility talk

A/N: sebastian is in his early 30′s in this fanfic, idk if i’ve ever mentioned it before but i felt i should say it so no one’s confused. let me know what you guys think, i love receiving your feedback always warms my heart listening to your opinions xx

Last Chapter // Next Chapter

Y/N woke up to a different yet pleasant environment. The bus had stopped and there were no bumps that could wake her up and the sun was shining into the bus and all she could hear were people on the outside laughing following for some movie. She raised her torso from the bed where she was covered by yellow papers and walked over to the window, pulling the curtains to come to sight with what she had heard and seen for years in pop culture. Las Vegas. 

The lights were off as it was daytime but she could see the grandeur of everything. Y/N had only been to Vegas when she was a young girl with her father who was accompanying her mother to a writing gig and stuff seemed to remain the same. 

Sebastian took zero time to wake up once he felt the bright light hit his eyes. No matter what people said, waking up sober to bright daylight was somehow worse than waking up hangover to bright daylight. He lifted his head to stare at what he thought was his brain playing tricks on him. Y/N was looking out the window, back turned to him in the shortest, tightest shorts that enhanced her backside. This had to be his mind playing tricks on him. 

    - We’re in Vegas. - she rushed to his side. - C’mon, we gotta go out.

   - No. You go out, I’m tired and too important. - he turned to the other side, grabbing her fluffy white to cover over his head and try to stop the light from hitting his face. Y/N however was determined to get him to wake up, after all the boys and Sherrie had left already so she had no one else to go with her and going out by herself sounded like trouble. Y/N pushed the cover off him and onto the floor. - Go piss off someone else. 

   - Put a shirt on and let’s go. - she crossed her arms, one foot on top of the covers so he couldn’t push it over himself again. Defeated, he lifted his torso, rubbing his face and eyes to stare at the woman in front of him. - C’mon, don’t you wanna see Sherrie before she goes back to her work place?

   - I already had sex with her and said goodbye. - he groaned, looking at her with hatred in his eyes. There was nothing he hated more than having his precious sleep interrupted. But yet again he was fighting Y/N over going outside and she really wanted to. - Go meet the boys at the venue, they’ll take you. 

  - I’ll pay for breakfast. - she said, poking his cheek with her baby pink painted nail. Sebastian could not refuse free breakfast, specially when he was in Vegas and everything was over the top. 

The rockstar got up from his bed, looking at the mess of yellow papers and polaroids. He didn’t exactly remember if they had finished compiling them but he sure hoped they had because there was no way it would be possible to organise everything once again. He heard her say thank you as he walked to his own room to get dressed.

Y/N on the other hand was jumping around in her room like a little kid, grabbing clothes out of her closet and deciding what to wear. She lived in New York most of the year so she normally had little to no summer clothes but she found a nice short white summer dress. She grabbed her bag to check if she had her wallet, fully knowing he’d only gotten the rockstar to wake up due to free breakfast, and walked outside her room to find him in his usual dark jeans and a white shirt, cap and sunglasses on. 

  - You do realise that wearing a cap and sunglasses doesn’t exactly count as a disguise, right? You still look like you do cocaine on Fridays. - she looked over everything on the kitchen to check if the guys had left the stove on, which wouldn’t be the first time. She swore that living in this bus was a constant “when will I die” contest. 

  - I don’t do cocaine, that’s for newbies. 

  - I’m sorry I don’t know what’s your favourite dying poison. 

  - Poison would kill you so why add dying before poison, that’s just redundant. You’re a writer you should know that. - he grinned, happy he had corrected miss perfect but instead of getting the sweet satisfaction of watching her explain herself in fluster, she just opened the door and started walking straight ahead. - Hey sweetheart, do you know where you’re going?

  - I’ll google it. - she kept walking like a child whose mother told them no candy at a shop isle. Sebastian smiled to himself and started walking behind her as she asked Siri what cafes were close by. She shifted to the left as they walked into the centre Vegas. 

Sebastian always hated Vegas, it was loud and showy. He had enough to entertain himself with in the city but if he was asked to do a forever tour in one of the casinos that would be a no for him. The only good thing about the Vegas stops in all of his tours were that his bandmates wives would come to visit them so everyone would be off his back. Besides, the other good thing was that Sherrie would finally be off his back to go back to her job at the Hard Rock cafe. He wasn’t a fan of having the same girl next to him for longer than a week. 

He was so lost in thoughts that he didn’t notice the young writer stop in front of a smallish cafe. Once she stopped, he woke from his thought filled mind and looked at the building in front of him. It was small, homey, not like his style but he guessed there was a smaller chance of people noticing him. She leaned against the door, opening it and making the bell sound calling for the attention of some of the customers who had disgusted looks on their faces. Y/N gave them a shy smile, once again feeling embarrassed by the fact that she had interrupted someone’s meal. However, Sebastian was having none of that.

 - Isn’t this a lovely cafe, honey? - he wrapped his arm around her, gaining a confused look from her. - Sorry fellas, we’re a bit late in our honeymoon schedule, late for breakfast.

A bunch of the people who had given her dirty looks, immediately started to apologise making Sebastian grin to himself. There was something he knew for sure and it was that people loved not to stop a newly wed couples plan with their dirty looks, besides, if someone was gonna berate her for going for breakfast at 11 AM it would be him, not a bunch of lazy people. 

They got into a table by the window and Y/N took one of the laminated menus, her hair falling in front of her face as she studied what she could have for food. Sebastian found himself looking at her, the way her face twitched every time she saw something she didn’t like.

 - I found a typo. - she said, a huge smile in her face. - They wrote ceasar salad instead of caesar salad. 

 - You’re such a nerd. - he rolled his eyes, a small smile on his face as he returned to pick what to have for breakfast. An old lady reached their table, holding a small waitress pad. 

 - You two are such a beautiful couple, how long have you known each other.

 - We are ... - Y/N was about to come clean, she hated lying, but Sebastian was having the time of his life making people fell bad about giving them dirty looks, so he was not ready to let this go.

 - Five wonderful years, isn’t it so babe? - he reached his hand to touch hers but she still gave him the “touch me again, you’re dead” look. - Gotta enjoy our honeymoon before we start trying for a little one.

 - What can I get you two, sweethearts? - she asked and Y/N smiled at the mention of finally getting some food.

 - I’ll get a full English and Buck’s Fizz, thank you. - Sebastian handed her the menu as Y/N finished looking at the menu.

 - I’d like some Eggs Benedict with a Diet coke, please. - she handed her the menu too, putting her hands on top of her lap. The old woman gave her a puzzling look. - Is there something wrong?

 - Soda is not good if you’re trying for a little one. - she said making Y/N immediately shot a look that only translated into his death sentence.

 - You heard her babe, better not have that diet coke. - he tapped her hand, trying not to burst out laughing at the devastated look the writer had in her face. 

 - Freshly squeezed orange and grapefruit juice is better for fertility, sweetheart. I’ll add that to your order. - the old woman turned and walked back to the kitchen leaving Y/N to cross her arms at Sebastian who was wheezing in silence at her face. 

 - Damn daddy, I sure hope that juice makes me magically pregnant. - she mocked him, looking at the table next to her being served the nicest coldest glass of Diet Coke. Sebastian, on the other hand, grew flustered at her words, looking out into the window. - I can’t believe they would believe I would marry you, much less try for a baby.

 - Look, there is a lower chance of people thinking I’m me if we keep pretending we’re married and trying for a baby. 

 - That makes no sense. Besides, I’d rather die slowly than have to carry your offspring. - she mumbled as the lady came back with a tray containing their order and lacking her beloved Diet Coke. Y/N adored Diet Coke which was a controversial choice but back in university she used to down two cans of it per day while revising in the library. Cut to present day and she still enjoys a nice cold glass of Diet Coke with a slice of lemon. Instead, replacing heaven in a bottle, stood the freshly squeezed orange and grapefruit juice. She didn’t even like grapefruit, it was too sour for her. 

She placed the metal tray on the table, placing Sebastian’s order in front of him and Y/N’s in front of hers along with a bowl of wild berries. She looked up to the old woman, quizzing if she had ordered it or if it was a mistake.

   - Berries are good for the baby, sweetheart. It’s on the house. - she gave them a kind smile and left them to their food. Y/N shrugged, a gut feeling of guilt but yet again she loved berries and free berries sounded good to her.

  - So ... - she burst her egg yolks using her fork, her question stuck in her head and failing to come out. She didn’t want him to get annoyed at her, not when they had spent more than an hour without bickering. - Do you wanna get married and have kids? 

  - Too late for that. - he chuckled but it wasn’t his normal chuckle, it wasn’t that chuckle she had gotten used to.

  - You’re in your early 30′s, Sebastian. Besides, men are technically fertile until the end of their lives. 

  - Men like me don’t get married, we continue our life until no girl wants to lay down with us and then we disappear into oblivion. 

  - Is that what you want? Oblivion? - she questioned, one of her eyebrows raised at his comment. 

  - It’s not about what I want anymore. What about you, kids and engagement in the cards for you?

  - I used to want it but I don’t know. I don’t know if I want to get married if love is something that’s not everlasting. Besides, I do have to work. - she gave him that sweet smile of hers. - Why are you leaving the band? For real, why don’t you wanna be part of it anymore?

  - Just felt like it. 

  - You know, I don’t believe you’re a “just felt like it” type of guy so you gotta lie better to me. 

  - Anyhow, we’re moving into a hotel for the rest of the week so I won’t be annoying you during the nights anymore. 

[thelastspeecher]

Pirate AU - Ford Gets What He Wanted

So, the other day, I got an ask about what Ford is up to in the Pirate AU.  Essentially, he accidentally became a pirate hunter, captaining his own ship, the Orion.  His main target: the Pirate King, as he believed that Stan had been kidnapped by the Pirate King (aka Captain Sully aka Captain Sally aka Angie McGucket).  In actuality, Stan joined the pirate crew of his own volition, and even started up a relationship with Captain Sully Captain Sally Angie.

And this...is what happens when Ford finds all that out, after he finally catches up to the Pirate King.

——————————————————————————————

              Ford marched past the pirates that were already tied up by his crew, heading straight for the captain’s quarters.  He was filled with triumph at finally catching up to the Pirate King, Captain Sully, the man who had taken his brother hostage, forcing him to work on his ship.  The moment he tore open the door, however, his eyes widened.

              He had expected to see Sully bound and gagged on the floor, Stan beaming at his rescuers.  Instead, a woman lay on the captain’s bed, surrounded by soiled blankets, two infants in her arms.  Stan stood in front of her protectively, glaring at Ford’s men.

              “Stanley!” Ford said happily, moving towards his brother. Stan let out a low snarl.  Ford didn’t see the left hook coming.

              “Get off me, you fucking bastards,” Stan snapped as Ford lay on the floor of the cabin, reeling.  Ford rubbed his cheek.  No doubt it would bruise.  He got to his feet.  The men were already subduing Stan.

              “Stanley, what the hell was that for?” Ford demanded. Stan tried to break free from the men holding him back.

              “My wife just gave birth, dumbass,” Stan spat. “And you swarmed the goddamn ship.” Ford’s jaw dropped.

              “Your…”  Ford looked at the woman on the bed.  A fierce fire sparkled in her blue eyes.  She held her infants close to her chest, but Ford could see one had the distinctive Pines nose.  “What- the last thing I heard, you were in a relationship with Captain Sully,” Ford said weakly.  “Where is he?”

              “You’d be hard-pressed to find Sully,” the woman said, baring her teeth.  She tugged down the collar of her shirt, revealing a long, jagged scar on her neck. Ford’s heart stopped.  “He doesn’t really exist.”

              “I- you-” Ford stammered.

              “I stopped going by Sully ages ago and started using my actual name, Sally.  Why are you so behind the times?”

              “I…”  Ford stared at the floor.  His mind stuttered.  “Captain Sully is a woman?  And your wife, Stan?”

              “Yes,” Stan growled.  Ford swallowed.

              “Take him to the brig,” he commanded.  Stan’s eyes widened.  “And take the Pirate King to- to-”  Ford looked at Captain Sully- Sally.  She was shaking, despite her vicious demeanor.

              Presumably from blood loss.  Many of the blankets packed around her were drenched in red.  Captain Sally met Ford’s eyes.  Exhaustion had replaced her anger.  Ford caved. I can’t send a post-partum woman to the brig.

              “Take the Pirate King to the infirmary,” Ford said softly.  He didn’t miss the way Stan slumped slightly in relief.

              “And the babies?” asked one of the crewmen. Ford winced.

              “I suppose they can stay in my cabin while their mother recuperates.”  He held his breath, ready for Captain Sally to scream at him.  No such thing happened.  He looked at the Pirate King again.  She’d passed out.  “Get her to a doctor right away,” Ford snapped.  “And…”  He swallowed. “Bring the infants to my cabin once they have been checked over.”

              “Yes, captain,” murmured one of the crewmen. Ford turned on his heel and stormed out of the cabin, trying to quiet the panicked shouting in his head.

-----

              There was a timid knock at the door.

              “Come in,” Ford said tiredly.  The door opened, revealing his beloved first mate, Fiddleford McGucket.  Ford let out a long sigh.

              “That bad, huh?” Fiddleford asked.  Ford put his head in his hands.

              “You have no idea,” he groaned.  “I’m so glad you’re here.”  As the only known man to have survived a duel with the Pirate King, Fiddleford was moved from his ship to Ford’s.  Ford’s ship had the specific goal of tracking down pirates, after all. Fiddleford had taken a slight demotion from captain to first mate as a result, but never complained about it.

              Ford would be lost without him.

              “I was interrogatin’ the pirate crew, I don’t know what happened in the captain’s…cabin…”  Fiddleford trailed off, staring at the infants sleeping in a makeshift crib by Ford’s bed.  “Uh…”

              “Oh.  Yes.” Ford looked over at the babies as well. “Meet my nieces.”

              “Your…?”

              “Apparently, Stanley married the Pirate King, who is actually a woman, and sired these two children.  They were born shortly before we boarded.”

              “And the captain?” Fiddleford asked quietly.

              “She’s in the infirmary, recovering from giving birth.”  Tension left Fiddleford’s shoulders.  “Why are you worried about the safety of a woman that tried to kill you?” Ford asked. Fiddleford walked over to Ford’s bed and sat on it, peering at the infants with a gentle smile on his face.

              “I don’t like the idea of children growin’ up without their mother, that’s all,” he said.  One of the babies awoke, yawned widely, and stretched tiny arms out. “Aw, come here, sugar cube.” Fiddleford removed the infant from the crib.  “What a precious lil bean!” Fiddleford cooed.  The infant giggled.  “So sweet.” He looked up.  “What are their names?”

              “I didn’t think to ask,” Ford said, still a bit blindsided by how casual Fiddleford was being.  “Fiddleford, why are you taking this so well?”  Fiddleford shrugged.

              “Don’t rightly know.  Maybe it’s ‘cause I don’t really have a horse in this race.”

              “Hmm.”  Ford got up. He joined Fiddleford on his bed. “She really is adorable,” he said softly.  Fiddleford nodded, beaming.

              “She’s got yer nose.”

              “Heh.  Yeah. The other one has their mother’s nose. Here, I’ll show you.”  Ford removed his other niece from the crib. “And she’s a polydactyl as well.”

              “Really?”  Fiddleford looked at the infant.  “She must be somethin’ special, then.”  Ford nodded. He smiled weakly at his niece. The smile faded as he recognized the nose she’d inherited from her mother.  It was the same nose on his first mate.

              “Fiddleford…” Ford croaked.  Fiddleford looked at him in concern.

              “What’s wrong?” Fiddleford asked.  Ford stared at his first mate’s kind eyes.  They were the same blue as the fierce gaze the captain had levied upon him.  “Stanford?”

              “Why are you so concerned about the Pirate King?” Ford asked.

              “I- I just told ya.”  Fiddleford sounded bemused.  “I don’t think lil ones should grow up without their parents.”

              “You know her,” Ford whispered.  Fiddleford sobered.  He deposited the infant back into the makeshift crib.  “You know the Pirate King, Captain Sally McGowan.”

              “…Yes,” Fiddleford said softly.

              “How?  How do you know her?”

              “She’s my little sister,” Fiddleford whispered, his eyes closed.  Ford’s heart leapt into his mouth.  He swallowed it back down.

              “So these aren’t just my nieces.  They’re yours, too.”

              “Yes.”

              “I-”  Ford took a steadying breath.  “How long have you known that your sister is the Pirate King?”  Fiddleford was silent.  “How long, Fiddleford?”

              “Since the first time I came across her, back when she was still goin’ by Sully.”

              “All this time,” Ford whispered.  Fiddleford looked away.  “All this time, you knew who the Pirate King was, and you didn’t share this information with anyone?  Even though we were chasing her down?  You didn’t even- you didn’t even correct Toby’s information on who she- who she-”  Ford froze as the truth of the matter dawned upon him.  “You’re the one who tells me the information Toby collects.”

              “Yes.  I am.”

              “Toby’s information wasn’t wrong, was it?  He collected accurate information, you turned it inaccurate.”  Fiddleford was silent.  “How could you?  How could you betray this ship, this country, me?” Ford demanded.  His voice rose, startling the infant he was holding. She began to cry.

              “Stanford, please, put her back in the crib,” Fiddleford pleaded.  Ford held his niece closer.  “She’s scared.  She’s-”

              “How could you?!” Ford roared.  Fiddleford’s eyes filled with fire, emphasizing further the familial resemblance between him and the Pirate King.

              “She’s my baby sister!” Fiddleford snapped. “She’s been through hell and back. If I’d been there to support her when her life fell apart, maybe she might not have turned to piracy.  But I wasn’t!  No one- no one in my fam’ly was.  She was scared and alone, and I just want to protect her the way I should’ve, years ago.”  Ford’s heart pounded in his ears.  He got to his feet and threw open the cabin door.

              “Tad, take First Mate McGucket to the brig,” Ford commanded.  The crew on deck stopped what they were doing to stare.

              “Uh, why?” asked Tad.  Ford glared at Fiddleford.

              “Treason against the crown.”

              “Treason?”

              “He was helping the Pirate King this whole time,” Ford spat out.  Fiddleford bowed his head, accepting his fate.  Ford watched Fiddleford make his way to the brig without a fight.  He closed the door of his cabin.  His niece’s crying increased in volume. Tears slipped down Ford’s face. He hugged his niece tightly.  “I know, my dear,” he choked out.  “I- I feel the same way.”

----- 

              There was a knock at the door.  Ford took a steadying breath.

              “Enter,” he instructed.  The door opened, revealing Stan, his hands tied behind his back, held by Tad.  “Tad, you can leave Stanley in here.”

              “Are you sure, captain?  He’s a dangerous pirate.”

              “He won’t hurt me.”  Ford stared into Stan’s eyes.  “Not when I have the authority to remove his wife from the infirmary to the brig at any moment.”  Fear flashed across Stan’s face.  “He’ll cooperate.  Won’t you, Stanley?”

              “Yes,” Stan ground out.

              “See?  You can leave us.”  After watching Stan take a seat in front of Ford’s desk, Tad left.  “Your daughters are here,” Ford said, nodding at the makeshift crib.  Some of the stiffness in Stan’s posture left.  He stared at the crib longingly.  “I’ve been referring to them as Marina and Regina.”  Stan rolled his eyes.

              “Like I’d name my kids something like that,” he snorted.  He froze. “Wait, they’re- they’re both girls?” His voice was small.  Ford blinked.

              “You didn’t know that?”

              “No, I-”  Stan blinked furiously, trying to hold back tears.  “I knew one of ‘em was a girl, but I didn’t get to look at the other before your crew raided us.”

              “I suppose that you won’t be able to tell me their proper names, then,” Ford said softly.

              “No, I can’t.  We didn’t get a chance to name them.”

              “I see.”  The infant Ford had been calling Regina began to fuss softly.  Ford got up and gently removed her from the crib.  He sat back down at his desk.  Stan stared at Regina with an expression akin to hunger. His eyes shone with unshed tears. “They’ve been given the best of care,” Ford reassured his twin.

              “I figured,” Stan choked out.  “You wouldn’t- you wouldn’t hurt your own nieces.” Ford nodded.  “Are you gonna adopt them, once you’ve hanged their parents?” Ford winced.

              “Your wife asked the same question,” he murmured. The Pirate King hadn’t been aggressive towards Ford in the slightest when he checked in on her earlier.  Ford knew better than to think it was because she respected his authority.  He’d brought her the babies so that they could be fed.  The combination of her children’s presence and the fact she was still weak from giving birth was the more likely reason she didn’t yell at him or attack.

              “You know the punishment for piracy is hanging,” Captain Sally said idly, stroking her daughter’s hair.

              “Yes, I am aware.”

              “Once we arrive at port, Stan and I will be led to the noose.”  Captain Sally looked up at Ford.  Her body occasionally trembled from exhaustion, her hair looked like a bird had tried to nest in it, and she desperately needed a bath.  But there was a vicious intelligence in her expression that, despite the rest of her appearance, chilled Ford to the bone. “These little girls will be without parents.”  She cocked her head.  “Are you willing to orphan two newborns?”

              “You and Stan were the ones to commit high crimes.”

              “Yes.  We did.”  Captain Sally’s mouth curled in a cruel smile.  “But you’re the one to allow the execution of your twin brother.”

              “It’s not- it’s not like I’ll be the executioner,” Ford protested.

              “Hmm.”  Captain Sally kissed the top of her daughter’s head. “Are you going to take in your nieces? Or will you have them be raised in an orphanage?”

              “We’re worried about our daughters,” Stan said. “Like good parents would be.”  His voice cracked halfway through his sentence. Ford’s heart sunk.  He’d picked up on Stan’s unsaid fear.

              “I’m gonna be a shitty dad, just like I had. But worse.  At least Pops was around.  I won’t be.”  Ford stood. He walked over to Stan and, onehanded, cut through the rope tying his brother’s hands.

              “Here,” Ford said softly.  He held Regina out.  “Hold your daughter.”  Stan took his daughter.  He stared at her wordlessly.

              “Hi, princess,” Stan whispered, stroking her cheek. Regina giggled.  Stan let out a strangled laugh.  Tears began to stream down his face.  Ford looked away from the tender, intimate scene.  “You’re so gorgeous.  Just like your mama.”  Ford could feel his resolve wavering.

              Am I willing to allow my nieces to be orphaned?  Am I willing to let my twin brother be hanged?  I don’t think I am.

----- 

              Stan was awoken by the sound of singing. Familiar singing.  He looked over at Fiddleford, in the cell next to his. Fiddleford nodded silently.

              “Those ‘re merfolk,” Fiddleford confirmed.  Stan got to his feet.

              “Something’s going down, isn’t it?”

              “Yes.”

              “What?”

              “I don’t rightly know,” Fiddleford said softly. Footsteps sounded.

              “I do,” Ford said solemnly, stopping in front of his twin and former first mate.  Fiddleford scrambled to his feet.  “A colony of merfolk that was allied with the Pirate King heard she was taken, so they rescued her, her crew, and her ship.”  Ford took a key out of his pockets.  He unlocked the doors to both cells.  “My entire crew, including myself, was powerless in the face of their magic.  In the chaos, my former first mate disappeared.”

              “Ford-” Stan started.  Ford met Stan’s eyes squarely.  They were glistening with unshed tears.

              “My greatest regret, however, is that the two children found on the Pirate King’s ship were also taken.  I wish I could have kept them from growing up with pirates. And I wish I could have discovered who their parents were.”

              “Stanford,” Fiddleford whispered.  Stan’s mouth went dry.  Ford turned away.  Fiddleford and Stan followed him to the deck.  Sweet Viola was waiting nearby, a bridge already set up between Angie’s ship and Ford’s.  And waiting by that bridge was a woman Stan hadn’t seen in over a week.

              “Angie!” Stan croaked.  Angie looked up.  Her blonde hair whipped in the night wind, her eyes were wide with fear, exhaustion, and sorrow.  Stan ran over and scooped her into his arms, enveloping her in a warm embrace.  Angie sobbed.  Stan’s heart broke.  His wife so rarely allowed herself to display any sort of emotion that could be interpreted as weakness.

              “I- I was so terrified I’d lose ya, and lose the babies,” Angie hiccupped.  Stan squeezed her tighter.  “I love you so much, darlin’.”

              “I love you, too,” Stan whispered.  He gently released her from the embrace. “The babies?”

              “Already on board.  Dan’s got ‘em.”

              “Good.”  Stan turned to Ford, standing nearby, his hands clasped behind his back and face stoic. “Stanford…”

              “This night will ruin my career, everything I’ve worked towards,” Ford said.  “But my crew wasn’t prepared to handle an assault of merfolk.  And I…”  Ford’s facial expression broke.  “I wasn’t prepared to lose my twin, sister-in-law, and first mate, as well as orphan my nieces.”

              “If ya ever want to give up the straight and narrow, my ship is more than happy to take ya on,” Angie said softly.  Ford merely nodded in response.

              “Thank you,” Stan said.  Ford nodded again.  His mouth quivered.  “I won’t forget this.”

              “There’s nothing to forget,” Ford said.  His voice shook.  “After all, this never happened.”  With that, he turned on his heel and marched back into his cabin. Angie took Stan’s hand and dragged him over to the Sweet Viola.  Fiddleford followed.

              “Set off, men,” Angie instructed the gathered crew. “We’ll celebrate once we’ve crossed the horizon.”

              “Aye, aye captain,” the crow intoned.  Angie headed for her cabin.  Again, Stan and Fiddleford followed.  Dan was inside, holding both of the babies.  He wordlessly handed one to Angie and one to Stan.

              “Thank you, Dan.  Go resume your duties,” Angie instructed.  Dan nodded and left the cabin.  Angie stroked the hair of the infant in her arms.  “Lord, they’re so beautiful.”

              “They take after their mama that way,” Stan whispered.  Angie smiled at him.  “Did Ford tell you he named them?”

              “Oh?”

              “Marina and Regina.”

              “Huh.”  Angie gazed down at her daughter.  “I kind of like those names.”

              “What?  Really?”

              “Yes.”  She held her daughter close to her chest.  “And even if I didn’t, it would be wrong to not honor Stanford fer what he did fer ‘em.  They should know.”  Stan looked down at the baby in his arms.  She yawned and stretched, flexing six fingers on one hand.  He swallowed the lump in his throat.

              “Yeah.  They should.”