#I feel like a character in a narrative
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#I feel like a character in a narrative#this year just isn't letting up#it's amazing how suddenly and drastically one's fortunes can change#but —#that precise fact is just as much a cause for hope as it is for dispair
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Learning that fans hated Applejack and called her "boring" is crazyyy to me because I genuinely, unironically believe AJ's the most complex character in the main six.
Backstory-wise, she was born into a family of famers/blue collar workers who helped found the town she lives in. She grew up a habitual liar until she had the bad habit traumatized outta her. She lost both her parents and was orphaned at a young age, having to step up as her baby sister's mother figure. She's the only person in the main gang who's experienced this level of loss and grief (A Royal Problem reveals that AJ dreams about memories of being held by her parents as a baby). She moved to Manhattan to live with her wealthy family members, only to realize she'll never fit in or be accepted, even amongst her own family. The earlier seasons imply she and her family had money problems too (In The Ticket Master, AJ wants to go to the gala to earn money to buy new farm equipment and afford hip surgery for her grandma).
Personality-wise, she's a total people-pleaser/steamroller (with an occasional savior complex) who places her self worth on her independence and usefulness for other people, causing her to become a complete workaholic. In Applebuck Season, AJ stops taking care of herself because of her obsessive responsibilities for others and becomes completely dysfunctional. In Apple Family Reunion, AJ has a tearful breakdown because in she thinks she dishonored her family and tarnished her reputation as a potential leader –– an expectation and anxiety that's directly tied to her deceased parents, as shown in the episode's ending scene. In The Last Roundup, AJ abandons her family and friends out of shame because believes she failed them by not earning 1st place in a rodeo competition. She completely spirals emotionally when she isn't able to fulfill her duties toward others. Her need to be the best manifests in intense pride and competitiveness when others challenge her. And when her pride's broken, she cowers and physically hides herself.
Moreover, it's strongly implied that AJ has a deep-seated anger. The comics explore her ranting outbursts more. EQG also obviously has AJ yelling at and insulting Rarity in a jealous fit just to hurt her feelings (with a line that I could write a whole dissection on). And I'm certain I read in a post somewhere that in a Gameloft event, AJ's negative traits are listed as anger.
Subtextually, a lot of these flaws and anxieties can be (retroactively) linked to her parents' death, forcing her to grow up too quickly to become the adult/caregiver of the family (especially after her big brother becomes semiverbal). Notice how throughout the series, she's constantly acting as the "mom friend" of the group (despite everything, she manages to be the most emotionally mature of the bunch). Notice how AJ'll switch to a quieter, calmer tone when her friends are panicking and use soothing prompts and questions to talk them through their emotions/problems; something she'd definitely pick up while raising a child. Same with her stoicism and reluctance at crying or releasing emotions (something Pinkie explicitly points out). She also had a childhood relationship with Rara (which, if you were to give a queer reading, could easy be interpreted as her first 'aha' crush), who eventually left her life. (Interestingly enough, AJ also has an angry outburst with Rara for the same exact reasons as with EQG Rarity; jealous, upset that someone else is using and changing her). It's not hard to imagine an AJ with separation anxiety stemming from her mother and childhood friend/crush leaving. I'm also not above reading into AJ's relationship with her little sister (Y'all ever think about how AB never got to know her parents, even though she shares her father's colors and her mother's curly hair?).
AJ's stubbornness is a symptom of growing up too quickly as well. Who else to play with your baby sister when your brother goes nonverbal (not to discount Big Mac's role in raising AB)? Who else to wake up in the middle of the night to care for your crying baby sister when your grandma needs her rest? When you need to be 100% all the time for your family, you tend to become hard-stuck with a sense of moral superiority. You know what's best because you have to be your best because if you're aren't your best, then everything'll inevitably fall apart and it'll be your fault. And if you don't know what's best –– if you've been wrong the whole time –– that means you haven't been your best, which means you've failed the people who rely on you, which means you can't fulfill your role in the family/society, which makes you worthless . We've seen time and time again how this compulsive need to be right for the sake of others becomes self-destructive (Apple Family Reunion, Sound of Silence, all competitions against RD). We've seen in The Last Roundup how, when no longer at her best, AJ would rather remove herself from her community than confront them because she no longer feels of use to them.
But I guess it is kinda weird that AJ has "masculine" traits and isn't interested in men at all. It's totally justified that an aggressively straight, misogynistic male fandom would characterize her as a "boring background character." /s
At the time of writing this, it's 4:46AM.
#mlp#yeah i wrote this last night during insomnia.#yeah i know an embarrassing amount of crap about this kids show#but whatever it's my hyperfixation i'll store as much useless information as i want!!!#i'm gay and neurodivergent i have an excuse#in case you needed more proof that aj's my favorite character#personal#delete later#unless you like this analysis stuff#i get why they didn't reveal aj's parent's death until way later and why they didn't do much with it but i wish they did#cuz narratively there could've been so much material with aj's grief. like. i feel like we gloss over the fact that she lost her#mother and father as a teenager#i tried keeping my personal hcs out of this to keep it unbiased#but i'll put some in the tags#involving rarijack –– i think aj can be (but not always) very self-conscious about her relationship with rarity#anxieties that she's not the right fit or that rarity will move away and leave her some day or that another woman will take her attention#(like in rollercoaster of friendship?? nudge nudge??). basic seperation anxiety stuff#long post#regarding applebloom whenever i think about her and her parents i think about that scene in steven universe where steven looks up at#a portrait of his mother and openly wonders what kind of sack lunches she would've made for him. that episode still fucks me up
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Juno’s champion
#uhh spoilers cough cough#had some deep Jason thoughts#rlly feel like he was missed potential tho 😔#actually fun fact I didn’t know heroes of Olympus was a sequel#so I started it as my first book into the Percy Jackson series and was really confused the entire time lmaooo#anyway my favorite characters are the ones doomed by the narrative#pjo hoo toa#pjo#pjo fanart#jason grace#percy jackson#percy jackon and the olympians#heroes of olympus#trials of apollo#pjo spoilers#my art#art#digital art#fanart#illustration#procreate#haliai art#toa spoilers#the burning maze spoilers
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hopeless time loop. the way out isn’t to save everyone. the way out isn’t to save even one person. the way out isn’t to change anything. the way out is accepting how it happened the first time is how it always will be. that’s how you acted, that’s how they acted, that’s how you would have acted every time if you weren’t given the curse of hindsight. the way out is accepting you can’t fix the past; you can only forgive yourself for it.
#there's this game i love called little hope that plays with these ideas (though not with a time loop)#i do love time loops narratives that explore how a person is confronted with their life and their choices#when forced to live the same day over and over again#and i LOVE time loops that try to reverse mistakes made and lives lost#but to see a character put themselves through loops upon loops upon loops#trying to rectify past mistakes (especially in the case where people died) only to be confronted with the reality it isn't working#and even in a loop where they save everyone the loop just resets#because the universe is essentially saying 'no that isn't how it happened and you know that's not how it happened'#it compels me!#i feel similarly about time travel where time 'fights back'#like this idea that there is a central timeline that time does not like being diverted from#so it will try to course correct itself#you save lincoln from an assassination only for him to die in a train crash#it's a cool way to confront the idea of fate#anyway all tragedies are hopeless time loops thank you for coming to my ted talk#a shout into the void#1k#5k#10k
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(breathing into a paper bag) FRALIO....
can't believe they gave us another guy. oh my god. so I guess Kelka is more, uhhh, more OOO then, and Fralio is Ankh? not that it matters too much, although they do seem to be doing something with the connected Riders so. who knows. anything goes! or if I may, anything gOOOes! god. of course they're the Ambition parallel. of course they are. oh my god.
fortunately there's nothing else they can throw at me right now that could possibly --
AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH
#art#ride kamens#ride kamens spoilers#OKAY i am caught up through show my cards so i feel more confident about going into main story part 2#unless there's some absolutely wacky lore thrown into the fun rollerblades event WHO KNOWS AT THIS POINT#extra excited for these guys now! can't wait to meet them properly :D#gosh though i am so afraid for jou in part 2#he's grown on me so much and i can't help but think getting backstory so soon is an ominous sign#especially for a wisdom guy i mean COME ON#i'm getting kiriya vibes and i don't like where this is heading#on the one hand if they legit kill off a character in their joseimuke gacha game...i mean. respect.#but also i want jou to be okay :(#i want everyone to be okay except maybe taiten because what is even going on with him#me yesterday: oh i don't think he's straight-up evil :) now let me just finish up the space event...#taiten: let's talk about plan DOMINATE PLANET#damnit taiten#tangentially i do think it would be EXTREMELY funny if the whole soun thing was a fakeout and murakumo was just some other dude entirely#soun's soft spot for uryuu and dislike for taiten is entirely coincidental#(probably based around the fact that taiten is INCREDIBLY evil) (or is he) (i mean yes)#he's multilayered he doesn't need a narrative reason to have opinions about other characters what are you his MOM
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"I shouldn't even be here" 💥✨
#Finished my 3rd rewatch of this season. Rust... My guy....#This line makes me wanna SCREAM. Man's was for sure gonna Commit after this was done. And then he gets his chance and comes back.#He is trapped in this never ending cycle of trauma and violence. Stuck in a loop. Repetition in narratives GETS ME#I love rust cuz he doesn't feel like he should be a part of the world. He's passing through.#True detective#Rust cohle#rustin cohle#true detective s1#True detective season 1#matthew mcconaughey#fan art#art#sketch#character art#Blood
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what if i Entirely made up another relationship but with the express intent that they Don’t get together actually. this started out as a lol an lmao even but honestly i think i needed this. cathartically
based on the tags of my post here
👍if you ship scc go away
#like even from a non-aro perspective i think we should have more ‘friends who don’t feel the same way abt eachother’ that doesn’t nece cen#necessarily centers the one w the romantic feelings#like yeah i bet it sucks to have feelings for someone who doesn’t and won’t ever feel the same#but speaking from personal experience it is fucking Harrowing to know someoen wants ‘more’ from their relationship with you#and you don’t feel that way. and now that you know now that you’ve been told. your relationship will never go back to how it was#and for me i had a lot of doubts afterwards! i was scared!#sure he was scared to tell me he wanted to date me but i was scared to tell The Kid He Sent To Ask that I didn’t want to date him !#deltarune#the art gallery#honestly deltarune probably isn’t the story to Have this narrative considering Evrry Thing Else. especially not with these characters HDHSJ#but what can I say. I like the them#scc#vomit mention
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me whenever i see people write off annabeth as an annoying and controlling and crazily jealous girlfriend with anger issues. understanding that the foundation of the rhetoric is based off of annabeth's behavior toward percy and rachel is tbotl and tlo. except annabeth's behavior in those books is soley due to the surplus amount of traumatic experiences she's had. ranging from her parents neglecting to care for her well-being when spiders attacked her in the middle of the night as a seven-year-old. to watching everyone she's ever dared to care for die, abandon, or leave her for a better option. so it's much more likely than annabeth was expressing great mental and emotional distress during a period of her life where it was uncertain if the boy she loved would drop dead on his sixteenth birthday. on top of having to uphold a reputation as the best strategist at camp half-blood and devise a plan to fight in a war and save the world before she's a sophomore in high school. so the notion that annabeth is an abusive and toxic individual lacks the consideration that maybe she was just a child forced to carry the weight of the world on her shoulders at all times.
#why must people insist her values be based on her mistakes and imperfections?#to not acknowledge the nuances of annabeth's life and write her off as abusive is incredibly inconsiderate#particularly since that narrative is based of the behavior she present as a literal child#sometimes it feels people fail to consider that her familiarity rests in close relationships doomed to fail#that she only knew how to fight to survive before she knew how to love#and that she's a growing individual who actively works to improve herself#to reduce this annabeth to bounds of the narrative and deny her a positive character arc portrays a lack of empathy for her circumstance#you don't have to like her as a character#but to ignore her upbringing while praising other characters for overcoming their is incredibly biased#percy jackon and the olympians#pjo text post#pjo#annabeth chase#we stan the daughter of athena#we stan a legend#we stan annabeth chase#forever and always#annabeth#annabeth is a legend#annabeth is incredible#annabeth is amazing#i love annabeth chase
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I think Nico's ability to survive is less so about his will to live and more so about his refusal (less so personal and more so narrative-wise) to die. Nico, for the lack of a better word, is like a cockroach: you cannot kill him in a way that matters so he survives and keeps haunting the scene.
There was once a marvelous post on Nico's function as a narrative tool and it was so beautifully pointed out that he's a near-omniscient deus ex machina (to simplify) which cannot be overlooked when characterizing him. Nico carries so much narrative weight on his back (which arguably could be an example of either good or bad writing depending on your perspective) that he cannot just go and die.
His road towards healing (though definitely not walked alone/individually) is his own, that's his choice to make as a character, but his disposition as a guy that perseveres resides more within his function, in my opinion.
He's not the tragic prince doomed for self-destruction people often draw him out to be but his capacity for survival is also not a product of his continuous work as a character, at least not just that — but is rather a result of his narrative function. Simply saying, you cannot, narratively, kill off Nico di Angelo.
#🌞#Hi I'm obnoxious!#But I also don't like when the supra-character narrative plain is ignored. Because a book is not just what characters do and say.#It's often /less/ about the characters and their (presumed dare I say Gods bless media analysis) feelings and more about their function.#Nico has a very specific role assigned to him that was covered in a marvelous post I'm sure I still have somewhere. Saved.#But. Yeah. Characters of the 'deus ex machina' kind that are often keys to narrative (cough) plotholes are almost never killed off.#They persevere bc without them the plot does not happen.#If you want a character whose whole self is about hope survival and better tomorrow? Titular character of the Percy Jackson series.#Percy survives as a CHOICE he repeatedly makes. He does not contain Nico's ability to leave and enter the narrative at will.#rrverse#pjo#nico di angelo
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the thing is, i love The Narrative, but i also absolutely adore a truly character-focused tragedy where everyone’s downfall is caused not by larger narrative forces, but by hundreds of tiny decisions made by characters who, despite their best efforts, just suck.
#like. The Narrative is inherently a factor in every story because that’s how fiction works#there is ALWAYS a writer pulling the strings#but sometimes characters are written SO well that you legitimately forget#and you can just focus 100% on them and their choices#most characters can’t make choices but some characters are so good that they can#i can only think of a few examples of this - but it is real and i stand by that#there are stories that were created plot-first#where the author had a plot in mind and then made up characters to play it out (who are controlled by The Narrative they were forced into)#and then there are stories that were created character-first#where the author made up some fucked up characters and then let them loose to see what they would do#and THAT is some good stuff#and like. tbf i have ABSOLUTELY no idea if the story i’m thinking of was created that way - but it just feels like it#because the characters feel so much like real people#it’s fucked up. i love it
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not nearly enough people are talking about how snarky luke is in that video like:
"don't luke me!"
"yeah.....about that"
"my phone's actually out of power so it's gonna have to be you there"
"FUCK!" *mouthed*
"i'm not calling ANYBODY after this"
#please i feel insane about this#this narrative is so CRUNCHY in a good way#luke hughes#his character accuracy to my tie fic >>>>>>#UNMATCHED#ugh unfortunately i get it like nobody else gets it#q speaks
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the sun shines after every storm (like clockwork, hope, and maybe fate too)
#akia art#olba#baxter ward#olba mc#exposing my cheeseball narrative tastes 🤣#i don't usually feel strongly abt fate in stories#but there's smth abt a character rediscovering whimsy after life had worked it out of them#balms the heartache!!#ik i've bbgirl-ed him too liberally but i think he did it himself that scene#anyway i like to think his 14 yo mental image of maggie resembled the teletubbies sun baby#if he ever told her she'd laugh until she cried
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I've been following you for years, and I love your art. Seeing you repost your older art pieces reminded me how much I loved the angry, bitter, miserable Machete art and how it resonated with me... but a part of me is also so happy to see the current art of him being happy. Cute art of him as a unicorn, or chilling in a bathtub with Vasco. Like, we're all growing and healing :')
#thank you!#he's been angry and bitter and miserable for so long it feels nice to give him an ounce of happiness for a change#some reasons to live besides spite and sense of duty#answered#anonymous#I always saw him as a character who's unsalvageable corrupted and doomed by narrative#and that the only way out of his miserable existence was a well deserved death#it sounds extremely cliche but I genuinely had no idea it would be so cathartic to view him through a lens of like#hope and healing and being worthy of love and saving despite your evident flaws and failings#unplanned redemption arc kapow#Vasco really just sauntered in and flipped the whole situation on it's head#sorry folks he has a boyfriend and gets regular pets and hugs and kisses now
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impromptu comic about agott and her art
#witch hat tag#i drew this..SO randomly. i guess i didn't feel like leaving the modern au there just yet..now back to orufrey world i go#i relate more to the journeys of coco riche and qifrey rather than agott or oru but that makes me love them#putting adina in a kimono felt appropriate..#i'll find you and go through the same equivalent character arcs and narratives in every world with you because i love you
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*sigh* thoughts on Nintendo's botw/totk timeline shenanigans and tomfoolery?
tbh. my maybe-unpopular opinion is that the timeline is only important when a game's place on the timeline seriously informs the way their narrative progresses. the problem is that before botw we almost NEVER got games where it didn't matter. it matters for skyward sword because it's the beginning, and it matters for tp/ww/alttp (and their respective sequels) because the choices the hero of time makes explicitly inform the narrative of those games in one way or another. it matters which timeline we're in for those games because these cycles we're seeing are close enough to oot's cycle that they're still feeling the effects of his choices. botw, however, takes place at minimum 10 thousand years after oot, so its place on the timeline actually functionally means nothing. botw is completely divorced from the hero of time & his story, so what he does is a nonissue in the context of botw link and zelda's story. thus, which timeline botw happens in is a nonissue. honestly I kind of liked the idea that it happened in all of them. i think there's a cool idea of inevitability that can be played with there. but the point is that the timeline exists to enhance and fill in the lore of games that need it, and botw/totk don't really need it because the devs finally realized they could make a game without the hero of time in it.
#i really do have a love-hate relationship with this timeline#because it's FASCINATING lore. genuinely. and i think it carries over the themes of certain games REALLY well#but i also think it's indicative of a trend in loz's writing that has REALLY annoyed me for a long time#which is this intense need to cling to oot#and on a certain level i get it. that was your most successful game probably ever. and it was an AMAZING game.#and i think there's definitely some corporate profit maximization tied up in this too--oot was an insane commercial success therefore you'r#not allowed to make new games we need you to just remake oot forever and ever#and that really annoys me because it makes certain games feel disjointed at best and barely-coherent at worst.#i think the best zelda games on the market are the ones where the devs were allowed to really push what they were working with#oot. majora. botw. hell i'd even put minish cap in there#these are games that don't quite follow what was the standard zelda gameplay at their time of release. they were experimental in some way#whether that be with graphics or puzzle mechanics or open-world or the gameplay premise in its entirety. there's something NEW there#and because the devs of those games were given that level of freedom the gameplay really enforces the narrative. everything feels complete#and designed to work together. as opposed to gameplay that feels disjointed or fights against story beats. you know??#so I think that the willingness to allow botw and totk to exist independently from the timeline is good at the very least from a developmen#standpoint because it implies a willingness to. stop making shitty oot remakes and let developers do something interesting.#and yes i do very much fear that the next 20 years of zelda will be shitty BOTW remakes now#in which botw link appears and undergoes the most insane character assassination youve ever seen in your life#but im trying to be optimistic here. if botw/totk can exist outside the timeline then we may no longer be stuck in the remake death loop#and i'm taking eow as a good sign (so far) that we're out of the death loop!! because that game looks NOTHING like botw or oot.#fingers crossed!!#anyway sorry for the game dev rant but tldr timeline good except when it's bad#asks#zelda analysis
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⭐🌛🌞 november trick or treating... spooky season can be anytime if you aint a scaredy cat!!! flynn, terence, nate - from my series Lost & Found Children
some WIPs!
^ some theatre costume designs that inspired Flynn's outfit. originally I wanted more of a pierrot motif, but I went with a sortof celestial angel to match nate's fiery devil. I do want to draw them all as pierrots one day...
my friend asked about the "costume" part of this - terence is not wearing a "halloween costume" per se, because he thinks he's too mature for costumes (haha). hence the star moon and sun theme to unify all of their outfits. he IS a piano player in the story, who wears a similar outfit to concerts, so you can see him as being a sort of astronomical musician for the occasion. i think these designs turned out pretty rad and since they're not "stereotypical" halloween fare, i would like to use them again...
tumblr killed my drafts... and unfortunately I am too tired to type out more of the description that got lost.
#oc#halloween#illustration#character design#my ocs#artists on tumblr#my art#flynn#nate#terence#i dont usually put so many 'generic' art tags but ive been wondering if it works!#tardy to the party as always. i debated not finishing this but i felt i had so little oc works in my repertoire so i wanted to change that!#moving on i want to put more narrative into my works so i made that short comic :)#i also want to change my art style more lately! my art became very clean in the last 2 years and i feel like people didnt really favour it#lost and found children
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