#I feel like I'm about to fall into a rabbithole

[melikes-reads]

I love that people saw this:

Adam Schürk: was a long time in Berlin

Victor Ross: comes from Berlin

Moritz Brenner: comes from Berlin

and literally went: AND THEY WERE ROOMMATES!

Schürk/Ross/Brenner WG!

[alongtidesoflight]

.

[hua-fei-hua]

even tho it sucked being a kid getting yelled at by fanfic authors who thought i was flaming them (bc i had no sense of tact lol), i'm at least glad i know better now

[ms-demeanor]

sorry if you've answered this before, and i hope you don't mind me asking, how do you know so much about computers and what seems to me like everything in the world? how did you become so knowledgeable? it's amazing

i just know a little about a lot of things and I probably have a fair number of things that I've dug into more than most people and less than people who actually focus on that stuff! It's kind of an illusion!

I do know a lot about computers and that's because I've worked at a computer company for 12 years and have been deep into a computery subculture for about 20 years - I do genuinely know a lot about consumer computers. That I'll own and that's experience.

I know a fair amount about literature because I've got a degree in it!

I know a fair amount about journalism because I've got most of a degree in it and I worked with journalists for a long time!

I know a fair amount about nutrition because I've got most of a degree in it and because I've been focused on reading a lot about nutrition for more than a decade because of my own food issues!

But mostly I'm just someone who falls down rabbitholes and has a decent ability to recall what I find when I run down them.

Also I get curious about things and will just go. Experience them.

Like at some point i came across a site for people who own and use RealDolls and I got interested in learning more. The site required an application because they didn't want people just trolling so I applied and I ended up reading through the whole site and reading the magazines they sent out for years after because it was just interesting. The way these guys bought clothes or compared repair techniques and cleaning techniques, the way they constructed identities for their dolls - it was all interesting! So now I know about the proper way to store a RealDoll and how their skeletons are put together and the best way to prevent rips or clean inserts.

Now imagine that with everything.

I got interested in quack medicine so I ended up reading the entire back catalogs of quackwatch and science-based medicine.

I got interested in the history of aspartame as a scare-word and I ended up reading a couple of books, SEVERAL entire blogs with decades-long runs, purchasing a military magazine from the 90s, and submitting a FOIA request.

But, like. I don't own a RealDoll or work in that industry. I am not a medical professional. I am not a chemist who works with aspartame. So I get these weird little collections of information where I know what *seems* like a lot to someone who hasn't looked into it but I know a lot less than someone who has taken the time to actually dedicate themselves to that topic.

And sometimes it's a years-long dive and sometimes it's a months-long dive and sometimes it's a few hours of me digging online until I feel satisfied with what I've learned and I never come back to it, but I've got three more talking points than your average joe at a party would.

(Also though I've attended various colleges at various levels for ten-ish years now and I've taken probably more college-level classes on a lot of subjects than most people have because I've now spent several years just kind of kicking around at community colleges and deciding that a cartooning class sounds fun or that a mesoamerican art class fills certain transfer requirements or that I might as well brush up on spanish, french, and german. Access to low-cost college classes in california is a big part of this, and having the time and money to take classes while i'm working is something that I've been very lucky with)

I've also worked pretty much continuously since I was 18, sometimes holding multiple jobs at once, and I know a lot of interesting people who do a lot of interesting things and I ask them about their interesting experiences and if they offer me a chance to go do cool shit with them, like launch a high altitude balloon or blow up some dynamite that's about to expire or join a band, I do it!

I was also one of those kids who had no friends and spent too much time at the library so I'd do things like read through medical textbooks or pull a book of home chemical formulas out of the trash and read it or take it into my head that I was going to read all of Shakespeare before I got to high school so I was a really annoying twelve-year-old and that kind of thing never really let up.

I don't know! I don't think it's that unusual and I think most people do this kind of thing I just happen to have less focus than a lot of people and talk a lot more.

[breathlesswordsbloodyknees]

Narrative Doom

Introduction

I've been playing around in and exploring this space where Sauron as Halbrand was genuinely seeking redemption, trying not to manipulate events but merely nudge them.

In my view, at this point he's in survivalist bed-rotting mode post-goo-form when he meets Galadriel. (I think he's more of an opportunist than a schemer in this era. Not that he doesn't have those schemes, but I think he's pushing those bad bad urges down. I have a web of scenes that I consider in this view for some other day)

I’m building much of this piece on these previous work: (link) (link) (link)

It's led me down some interesting philosophical rabbitholes, and I'd like to share.

Now, important to note, Sauron is a Maia—not a 'human' by any means. He's an ancient spiritual being who doesn’t feel the way us teeny tiny mortals do.

But on a broader scale: Tolkien’s work, like fiction as a whole, reflects and explores the human experience, so we’re riding that train.

All this with the framework of not absolving him for anything that came before or comes after. I plan on expanding into his evil alongside Morgoth and his actions in Season 2 at a later date.

But right now, we’re just exploring this blip of a moment where I consider Sauron could be genuine in repentance.

This is more an analysis of Sauron, but I feel like it has a lot to explore for Haladriel fans. There's some critique of Galadriel's choices here, but I want to make it clear: I'm not assigning blame. More just digging into the complexities.

And, well, I don't think this ship would be as compelling if it didn't have complexities.

Spoilers:

All of TROP S1

Vague themes/lines in TROP S2, mostly from S2E1.

The Good Place spoilers for overall theme and a few season 4 lines, but nothing outright about the plot.

Trigger Warning:

Be warned, I’m going to delve into some dark themes in a very personal way. Including but not limited to abuse cycles, personal trauma, harmful behaviors, and empathy within all of that.

I won’t lie, this work was hard for me. Painful to untangle. I would encourage you to have empathy and compassion for yourself, as well as me, while you read. I tried to put warnings before I go into these themes. Please take care of yourself.

---

To start

Sauron’s narrative, at its simplest, is a cautionary tale: If you let your ambition and drive for power go too far, you turn to evil. Higher values over sinful pleasures. Pride goeth before the fall.

But on a deeper level, being solely a cautionary tale, an overarching villain, a lesson to learn, what does that mean for the complexities of Sauron in The Rings of Power?

Charlie Vickers puts so many layers and so much emotion into his character. Yet he keeps it to a lot of imperceptible movements that, I found out last night, get almost completely lost in low resolution. I can see that being a part of some of the stricter interpretations of Vickers' Sauron. But there’s a vulnerability there that touches on some deeply raw thoughts.

—

So the relentless question in fandom: Does he mean any of it with Galadriel or is he just the Great Deceiver?

I'd like to ask, how much of it is just some deeply relatable ‘human’ behavior? Deflection, defensiveness. Half-truths, twisted truths, fibs.

Because as he says on the raft, he did tell her the truth, that he had done great evil in service of Morgoth. He never lied to her.

(An aside: I personally don’t give the “my ancestor” thing much weight as a true lie, I mean it’s his backstory and he had more reason for it than the Darkling did imho)

But really, who doesn’t try to hide and smooth over the worst ugly evil nasty bits of themselves and their past? We want to shine in the eyes of others—it's a fundamental desire to most.

—

On the other side, touching on influence and ambition:

Aren’t we all trying to sway events and leave an impact in whatever way we’re capable? Don’t we all attempt to sculpt the world like clay? Isn’t that really all we can do in this world?

And don't we often tell ourselves that we’re doing it for a better outcome? Even actions deemed ‘good’ and ‘heroic’ create ripples that have negative impacts, if only just for the orc babies.

I’ve been thinking a lot about orc babies.

—

Galadriel, from their first conversation on the raft in S1E2, backs him into a corner. She’s relentless in her quest for revenge against him and he’s whoops—sitting right there, doing the side eye meme. He’s gotta be self-preservational. And that rings true to me more than outright deceit. (At this point)

But I think over the course of the season, playing as Halbrand, “Lost King of the Southlands”, he’s trying. Trying to be “the hero she seeks”. Trying in the only way he knows how, which is…well, not great, he really toes the line. But he’s trying to ‘choose good every day and choose it again tomorrow’, while he’s on the path she set him on. So it’s a step by step journey towards the light, but the path is ever slippery.

And inevitably, as we know, he fails.

—

TW

So what does that mean for those of us who feel like we’re trapped in the narrative, hurtling toward a doomed end through harmful behaviors we can’t escape? Tied onto the train tracks, staring down what feels like an inevitable fate.

When all you’ve known for ages is subjugation and torment and abuse, what do you become? (Which makes Mairon even more painful, with his origin of beauty and light. Like a whisper of I was once admirable too)

I keep coming back to the image of grooves, well worn. And well, under the influence of an abuser and beyond, I too have done evil.

Holding the good you’ve aspired to and the evil you’ve done in one space; it’s a sharp, heavy feeling like holding coals, like touching a hot pan, something to run and hide from. And looking at my deeply ingrained behaviors from childhood, along with trauma that’s happened throughout my life...I see those grooves echoing in jagged bloody ways that feel comforting, even natural.

For a long while, it’s been the only way I knew how to self-soothe, these behaviors that can cause harm to myself and others. So I’ve been twisting around the question: Can we ever truly be free of the evil we’ve done? If it’s all we’ve ever known, baked and beaten into our bone marrow?

In Sauron’s case, the answer is no. His story unfolds the way it was written. The bad guys perish, the good guys win.

(though there’s the “they meet in Valinor” after canon theory, hope ever shines through)

—

That all brings me into The Good Place and that show’s moral thesis.

Spoilers for The Good Place:

More or less, the show states “people improve when they get external love and support. How can we hold it against them when they don't?” and “What matters isn't if people are good or bad. What matters is if they're trying to be better today than they were yesterday.” (S4E8)

Scanlons’ What We Owe to Each Other and the rabbithole of contractualism that I haven’t fully delved into.

I resonate deeply with what The Good Place says. All with the understanding that you have to put on your own air mask before you help others, don’t set yourself on fire to keep other people warm.

But I do believe we should help each other in what ways we can, rather than writing people off entirely.

So, I struggle with Galadriel’s moments of “shutting the door” being considered wholly empowering. Light prevailing, resisting the allure of darkness and the draw of power. It is indeed all those things, especially for her journey. Don’t get me wrong, I don’t blame her.

But there’s an itching here for me and I have to scratch it.

—

In S1E8, if we’re assuming he’s genuine, he put it all out there in the raft illusion. It was his biggest, his all, his hope. A leap of faith. Real vulnerability with an internal truth that was like holding coals.

He did what was ‘right’. He reached for support, for understanding, for community, What We Owe to Each Other.

(though we can’t ignore the scene before that where he’s wearing Finrod’s face. But I haven’t followed that thread yet).

He made a play for a better future.

And she—light and goodness and holiness in her hair, denied him.

“You are Morgoth’s friend”, “There is no such future.” Boiling him down to his worst parts, reinforcing his worst fears.

Is that all we ever can be?

---

TW

When do we write off people like Sauron, with all his history of wrongdoing? People like my abusers or even myself? When does the potential for redemption become irrevocably lost?

How much empathy should we show, and what are we obligated to offer? What do we owe to each other? All of this while carefully balancing the line of not condoning or becoming an apologist, along with taking care of yourself first.

It’s mind-boggling.

---

The answers are out there: self-compassion, self-forgiveness. Change comes from within. Balance. But it's the same way people say go outside, exercise more, drink more water to fix depression. When you're in the throes of darkness, those words feel hollow, trite. And that glossy sunlit path is more than treacherous when you walk it, especially alone.

So again, I say, I scream: Should we not still help each other?

It's not just internal and external separately, we need both. I have to believe that. Internal change and external support.

—

Conclusion

In the end, I'm really only left with more questions. This barely scratches the surface of what I've been brewing on, I could go round and round for days. I mean, that’s what I’ve been doing this week.

Regardless, all the typical takeaways feel hollow. Choose light, choose hope, every single step, no matter how hard.

It’s never quite that simple, on a very visceral level. And for some of us, like Sauron, it never materializes.

It all just eats and scratches and twists inside me. Ultimately though, I think Caitlin Seida said it best about hope and redemption and the struggle in her poem, Hope is Not A Bird, Emily, It’s a Sewer Rat. Which I greatly hope you’ll read and find what I have in it. (link)

So I guess we keep being scrabbly little sewer rats, hoping to claw our way out of the dank dark cave. And y’know, it may not mean much, but I’ll be here, down in the muck. Right there with you.

Maybe that’s all we owe to each other.

Follow-up

[thebramblewood]

That moment you find out the girl you’ve been seeing is famous - for being a 130-year-old missing persons case with an entire "theories and speculation" section on Wikipedia.

Previous / Next

Yes, I made Lilith a Wikipedia page because I'm just that extra. If you want to read it (I threw in some new information), you can find the whole thing following the transcript below the cut.

Real-time footage of Helena researching:

[Snippets of Caleb's letter echo in Helena's mind] I will put it to you bluntly: Lilith and I have been vampires for some 100 years. Faced with your otherwise certain demise, I chose to make you one too. You may not believe me. It will feel like a bad flu for a day or two; then it will feel like the heat of 1000 fires blazing inside. I very well knew it would turn you into a monster against your will.

Helena, thinking: It's just a hangover, Helena. It's just a hangover. Yeah, that crazy bitch bit you, and her crazy brother wrote a dumb letter to scare the shit out of you. But vampires aren't real.

Thank god Ulrike left all these fucking tarps. This sunlight is murder on my eyes.

Several internet rabbitholes later... [Helena scanning Wikipedia page on computer screen] Last seen alive March 16, 1918... disappeared under mysterious circumstances... seemed to fall ill... Tangled Vines... immortal vampires... This can't actually be her. It's impossible...

Lilith Violetta Vatore (December 2, 1891 – last seen alive March 16, 1918) was an heiress and socialite who disappeared under mysterious circumstances at the age of 26 along with her brother, Caleb Vatore, 24. Before vanishing, the siblings were poised to jointly inherit the Vatore fortune, home, and 100-year-old vineyard and winery. This was considered unusual for the period, as family property, wealth, and business interests were often only passed to women in the complete absence of a male inheritor.

Despite societal expectations, Vatore reportedly had little interest in courting or eventually marrying. She was said to have rebuffed dozens of engagement offers, much to her parents' dismay. However, she rarely turned down an invitation to a ball, and her baldly flirtatious escapades were frequently reported on in society columns. One such columnist wrote that she "bandied about in a bold and bawdy manner most unbecoming of a respectable lady, laughing uproariously, drinking excessively, and making coy conversation with every handsome man in sight." Some historians suggest based on a series of candid letters from Vatore to fellow socialite and confidante Prudence Crumplebottom, donated to the University of Britechester by Crumplebottom's daughters, that she may have preferred the company of women in private.

The Vatore siblings were said to be so close that one was rarely seen without the other. The society columns were not kind to Caleb Vatore, calling him a "poor chap" who seemed "nothing more than a playmate, servant, or lapdop, his role at any given moment wholly dependent upon his dear sister's whims." Little is known about his personal life.

In the days preceding the siblings' disappearance, Vatore seemed to fall ill. She sequestered herself to her bedroom, allowing no one but her brother to enter. On the morning of March 16, a maid found Caleb's chambers undisturbed, and Vatore's locked bedroom door was forced open, whereupon she was discovered to have absconded in the night, along with her brother and her finest jewels.

Various court battles ensued over the fate of the Vatore estate, and interest in the siblings' disappearance was briefly renewed when their alleged children materialized in the mid-1950s. However, the entire ordeal all but disappeared from public consciousness until the recent publication of Tangled Vines: A Complete Investigation of the Vatore Disappearances by journalist Salim Benali. Benali posits that the Vatores are immortal vampires who still live today, and though some scholars find elements of his research intriguing, others dismiss his argument as an elaborate, attention-seeking hoax.

[alexjcrowley]

Just realised Simi has the same vibes of DinLuke I'm distressed

Young blond twink who's an actual factual menace he's all smiles and sunshine until he gets down to business, he brought down legends, the moment he steps on the field people are TERRORISED by him but he's also just some cute guy from a small town and has the determination of 1000 suns and sass to spare

paired with

gruff old man who just want to Do His Thing (you could say he just wants you to "leave him alone, he knows what he's doing"), chillest guy in the universe he is content with his job he doesn't need anybody he doesn't talk to anybody to everyone he is a mystery, people trying to tell him he is this Big Fucking Deal for Ferrari Mandalore and he's just like no. Can't I just do my job. He sort of cares about two (2) people.

And then they somehow end up together raising a child a grid and unlikeky bestfriendism ensue.

I don't know how to explain I feel you need to be really deep in the Simi lore and in the DinLuke rabbithole but it's there. Sebastian has the talent, determination and attitude of a Luke Skywalker who has accessed his full potential and Kimi has the stoic attitude and that "I care about one person and one person only the rest of y'all I don't fuck with" mentality of Din Djarin. To me.

Something about Luke and Sebastian being living legends and being burdened to carry the future of Ferrari/The Jedis and falling (damn you, sequels trilogy!) and Kimi and Din stumbling through becoming idols of the masses (Kimi being the last Ferrari champion still and winning in his first year like no big deal/Din accidentally becoming the king of Mandalore)

[moongothic]

Re-analyzing Crocodile in Marineford

So when I started falling down the Crocodad rabbithole, I did start by rereading Marineford to doublecheck the claims about whether or not Crocodile's behaviour truly was odd during the arc. And I did go into it with a good amount of scepticism, trying to find holes in the theory after having just learned about it. Well, it's been like a year now. I do feel like I've formed a strong idea of the Crocodad theory in my head, what we need to assume for it to be a viable theory, what supports it and where its weaknesses lie.

The thing about storytelling though is that you can read into things in truly wild ways if you want to find a way to support a theory, while also failing to understand/forgetting the pre-existing lore and what we know about certain characters.

So I want to reread Marineford again, but this time, having an understanding of the theory, I want to rethink how the Crocodad theory actually applies to this arc, and compare it to a more neutral reading, based on what we know about The Man of the Hour and what Oda actually (probably) wanted us to take away from the events of the story. So we're re-analyzing Crocodile in Marineford, but from two angles. The Normie Neutral Angle and the Crocodad Propaganda Angle.

Is this partially because I want to just prove to myself that I am actually delusional about Crocodad and been reading into things in the completely wrong way? So that when Oda finally debunks the theory I will be emotionally ready for it because otherwise the disappoinment will shatter my heart into a million pieces? Yes. Yes, that is why this post exists. But also I have wanted to do this for a while now because I did think it would be fun to return to this arc now that I'm MORE than familiar with the theory. Point is, I'm not here trying to ruin the fun for my Fellow Crocodad Truthers. I'm here to lower my own expectations and give myself a reality check.

So immidiately after arriving in Marineford in Chapter 558 Crocodile makes his way to Moby Dick to kill Whitebeard. Luffy forces him to back off for a second so the two can have a chat before he storms off to get to Ace. At this point, Sengoku gives everyone orders to kill Luffy because he is Dragon's son, making sure everyone on the battlefield knows too

Propaganda: The lack of Crocodile's reaction here is incredibly suspicious. So much so I wrote a whole metapost about that subject on its own.

The lack of Crocodile's reaction however could be just chalked up as his reaction not being important in this moment. Crocodile doesn't care about Luffy, he's only here to get Whitebeard's head and thus has more important things to worry about in this moment than that rubbery idiot.

Next time we see Crocodile is in Chapter 560. He's been blown away and off the Moby Dick. And while he is trying to get back on the ship so he can fight Whitebeard, he is failing miserably at it (being hindranced by mere goons) and is clearly fucking annoyed about it

Propaganda: His gloomy expression and hidden eyes are suspicious, considdering this is soon after hearing Sengoku's announcement. If Crocodile just learned Luffy is his son, then in the past few minutes we haven't seen him he has gone from learning that truth, to realizing he nearly killed his own son with his own hand (three times), to knowing Luffy has ran off straight into the lion's den and most likely certain doom, and understanding that even if he wanted to help Luffy, Luffy fucking hates his guts and wouldn't want his help anyway (+Luffy wouldn't know about their blood relation, now would not be the time to break the news, if ever). Luffy does have help in the form of the rest of the WB Pirates, Jinbei and Ivankov, so it may be for the best to Crocodile to try to focus on what he came to Marineford to begin with; getting his petty revenge and taking WB's head. But still, that shocking revelation could be getting under his skin, he might be having a bad time digesting everything.

Croc's petty revenge gets distracted by Jozu blasting Crocodile off and Doflamingo joining the fun by annoying Crocodile even more, until Crocodile sends the pink bastard flying out of his sight. He seems to continue trying to reach Whitebeard without any progress until WB gets stabbed by Squard, which causes Crocodile to burst out with a shocking amount of emotion

We know Crocodile has trust issues. We don't know what caused them, though a likely assumption might be that he may have been betrayed by someone (if not multiple people) in the past. Although impossible to confirm, if that is the case then watching Whitebeard get betrayed by one of his own could be a bad reminder of what may have happened to him in the past, not helped by Whitebeard immidiately choosing to forgive his son, something Crocodile might not be able to accept as easily.

Additionally, we know that Crocodile lost to Whitebeard when WB was in his prime. In this moment Croc would realize and have to face the fact that Whitebeard is an old man, he's not the same as the Primebeard who crushed Croc so long ago. Meaning, whatever catharsis Crocodile may have yearned for, he would not be able to actually get. There is no satisfaction to killing a weak, dying man.

Propaganda: This moment may have forced Crocodile to reflect on his weird relationship with his extranged son. Whitebeard forgave his foolish son for stabbing him, and while Crocodile may have no lingering grudge against Luffy for thwarting his plans in Alabasta... would Luffy ever forgive him for all the things he did? Could Luffy forgive him?

Crocodile then proceeds to stop Ace's premature execution attempt, and when confronted about it by Doflamingo, Crocodile confirms he has not taken Whitebeard's side.

This reinforces our understanding that Crocodile loathes the World Goverment so much he'd rather spare one of Whitebeard's own than let the WG get what they want. This is not a pro-WB move, this is just an anti-WG move

Propaganda: For one, Croc's hate of the WG could support to the idea he may have been involved with the Rev Army at some point, even if just temporarily. But most importantly, indeed, he did NOT spare Ace for Whitebeard's sake, which leaves us with only two other options; he did it for his own sake (=spite against the WG), or for Luffy's sake. He has seen the desperation and the efforts Luffy will go to for his loved ones, so Crocodile could only imagine the heart break Luffy would go through if he lost someone dear to him. So, even if his son hates him, he can't just sit by and watch Luffy get shattered right in front of him

As he is rushing to reach Ace, Luffy uses his Conqueror's Haki by accident to stop another execution attempt, which leads Whitebeard to order all his men to back up Luffy. As he runs, Luffy is almost cut down by Mihawk, only slowed down by Daz Bones and then finally stopped by Crocodile

Considdering Mihawk's earlier comments about Luffy's terrifying power of bringing people together to follow him, this is meant to be just a call back to that; not even Sir Crocodile is immune to Luffy's draw, much to Croc's own annoyance. Which isn't great, considdering he's already in a horrendous mood over Whitebeard, who had just now given his approval and acknowledge'd Luffy's value on the battlefield (after having ignored Crocodile nearly this entire time)

Propaganda: If Luffy is Croc's son then of course he would not let Mihawk kill him right in front of his face. Crocodile's foul mood and solemn expression is also explained by the realizations that hit him after Sengoku's announcement (as I explained earlier)

The war continues, Ace is freed and then killed by Akainu, causing Luffy's brain to shut down out of shock. Crocodile seems to watch Whitebeard's final stand though where he is and what he's doing exactly is vague during this time.

Jimbei however announces he has chosen protect Luffy with his life and is on the run with Luffy in his arms, while Akainu pursues them, eventually catching them and wounding both, severely.

Crocodile jumps in at last second, cutting Akainu in half and blasting Jimbei+Luffy out of his reach, allowing the two to finally escape.

Crocodile's comments here are calling back to two things. The latter is about his hatred of the World Government and not wanting them to have what they want, especially after WB finally kicked the bucket and they took Ace's life. Not wanting the WG to get the third bird with the same stone, Croc is making it his personal duty to be the biggest thorn in the WG's side right now. But the former, "if you want do protect something, do it right" calls back to Alabasta. Crocodile made it clear then and there that weakness is a sin, and only the strong can afford to have idealistic views (like Vivi wanting to save her people and her country). Crocodile berating Jimbei here is a lecture; if Jimbei claims he's going to protect Luffy with his own life, then actually put your money where your mouth is and do it. Jimbei, a (former) Warlord just like Crocodile, should be able to do better than this.

Propaganda: Crocodile''s comments at Jimbei are a confession; he has someone he wants to protect no matter what (and that's his son). Also, the phrase "love is always a hurricane" has been repeated over this Saga numerous times, and while it has been in reference to romantic love... What did Crocodile save Luffy's life with if not a sand twister, a hurricane?

The war ends and we see Crocodile looking solemn over everything that has transpired.

Maybe he is quietly paying his respects to Whitebeard and taking it all in.

Propaganda: The last Crocodile saw of Luffy was the unconcious, wounded boy being taken into a submarine that vanished into the waves, followed by Kizaru and Aokiji's attempts to sink the ship. Crocodile has no idea if the ship survived the attacks or has already sunken, but even if they managed to escape, between the grave wounds Luffy had recieved and the trauma of Ace dying, the boy's survival was not quaranteed. The war could break Luffy, forever. And there'd be nothing Crocodile could do about it. It was out of his hands now.

After taking some time to recover, Luffy, together with Jimbei and Rayleigh go have some fun in Marineford and pay their respects to Whitebeard, ending up on the news that even Crocodile gets to read about.

(Sidenote but Viz's official translation here is a bit off, "The cheeky rascal" isn't about Luffy but is directed at Daz, so it should be "You cheeky rascal")

He has recovered from his wounds and the frustrating disappointment of Whitebeard dying (and not by his hand), but is ready to set out into the New World, Luffy's infectious energy seemingly having inspired him once again to see what the seas have to offer.

Propaganda: Daz's comment here is strange, as he makes it sound like Crocodile had been like... what, moping? Sulking? For the past few weeks after the war? Crocodile's reaction to Daz's comment ("Are you sassing me you little shit") doesn't help either. It certainly makes it sound like Croc had been in the dumps, but considdering he would've had no idea what fate fell upon his son until now, yeah, him being worried and depressed would make sense. As would the way he immidiately perks up after finding out the idiot son is just fine

And that's it, that wraps up Summit War.

It's kind of sad, really, how when you get down to it Crocodad does make perfect sense in all of these scenes (maybe some more than others). But the Crocodile acts during this arc isn't weird when you get down to it, his behaviour is completely reasonable considdering everything else that is going down around him and the little we do know about his view of the world. And that fact makes Crocodad so easy to just brush aside as looking too deep into things when it's not meant to be that deep

But also, Oda is insane, and you can never fucking know when something WAS meant to be that deep from the begining until he gives out the full truth and spills the beans

Did I come here trying to debunk Crocodad for myself? Yes. Did I succeed at doing that? Not really. Did I have fun regardless? Yeah, and I hope this was at least vaguely interesting to some of you

[justporo]

Heya lovelies!

Short update: I know you've noticed this probably but it's gotten a bit silent on here. I've had and still have a lot going on irl - and frankly, I'm just exhausted.

Secondly, I've come to the realisation that I need to switch up what I create. I've done a lot of similar stuff for most of a year and I need to find ways to keep it fresh for me. I've started to draw again which you might've seen. But I also want to and do write different stuff which is mostly stuff for OCs still and something I majorly enjoy. Though this is also stuff that is sometimes stuff that is only for me or for friends - sorry about that.

In general I really just don't feel like writing atm and I'm in dire need of a vacation (which thank god, will happen at the end of October).

All that being said, I still keep creating and I just wanna see where the creative spark takes me (once it's recharged a bit). Maybe I'll fall down the Dragon Age rabbithole in October/November let's see!

Also - it's been a while now: but I reached 3k followers on here - like???? OH MY GOD?? Thank you guys so much! I hope you stick around as I explore new things and enjoy stuff I share - especially when that hopefully picks up again in the future.

Thank you, I appreciate you all, mwa!

[sunflowerquill]

Most Underrated Writing Tip

So in the past I've talked about how falling down a rabbithole of writing advice (especially online) can lead you to refrain from actually writing because you feel the need to be 'fully' prepared (which is impossible, since advice on the internet is infinite and everyone has their two cents). In the end, we came to the conclusion that practice is the best medicine and that you should go create art without the fear of it being 'imperfect' or 'flawed'. Check out the full post about the Writing/Art Advice Rabbithole to read more about it.

So now it may seem hypocritical of me to suddenly come here with writing advice, but it's something quite important that I didn't mention in my original post. And this time, I also have an example based on my own writings and how this 'tip' helped me.

So my advice is this: Read more books.

Pretty anticlimactic, right? It's something so obvious, and something that's been definitely said before. And yet, between the popular 'show don't tell's and 'said' alternatives, it's pretty rare to come across.

I'm going to use my own books/writing as example because A) it's easier and B) you never stop learning and improving. My writing isn't perfect either of course.

My book series is YA High Fantasy™, and I finished writing/editing the main trilogy some time ago. Now that I'm in the final stages before going "yes, it's ready for me to find a way to publish it", I've been fixing some things in the beginning chapters of the books. Since the series is High Fantasy™ and has quite a bit to digest when it comes to the world, its lore/mythology, species, etc, I've been trying to make it as easy as possible for the reader to have the basic knowledge without me being confusing or too direct.

As a victim of the 'Show, Don't Tell' extremism, I went through quite a bit of my writing journey thinking of SDT as the eleventh commandment. That did not help me in the long run, because no one was there to tell me that "hey, sometimes telling is necessary!". It was only when I read The Hobbit for the first time this summer that I realised that telling is sometimes 'required', especially when you have a complex High Fantasy™ world and you need to get the basics across to the reader. If I had never started reading it (and generally other books in my genre, since by then I had only been reading classics of completely different genres), I would've never thought to change up the first few chapters to make the world more clear to the reader. And if the reader were to get confused from the first chapter, it would've been a disaster.

Same thing about the editing process. Reading books from both self-published authors and traditional publishers has made me realise that just about every book you meet will have one mistake in it; whether it be a typo, a margin, an extra space, etc. This fact made me worry so much less about my own books. Of course I've read through them a thousand times and made sure there are no mistakes; but if there is, then that's okay! It happens. To err is human.

So yes, read more books, and not just for enjoyment. Try to find what you like about an author's style and find how and why they do it (it'll also expand your vocabulary!).

Toodles <3

[sixtynineinchnails]

I've been wanting to make this post for months and in light of the recent ex-presidential ear piercing now seems as good a time as any.

As a non-usamerican, as someone who is pro Palestine, as an anarchist: I am begging you with every fibre of my being to go to the fucking polls this fall and

VOTE.

Disclaimer: I don't live in the united states and I never have and I probably never will. I can never truly understand what it's like to be a usamerican and I'm not going to pretend like i could. I fully expect to get called a fascist or some shit for saying your should exercise your right to vote but at this point I don't care. I'm scared, we're all scared, and news like we've just gotten tonight is only going to compound the fear and chaos and conspiracy thought and fearmongering and hopelesspilled doomerism we’re all dealing with rn. I don’t want to make anyone’s day worse. I'm not looking to debate you. I just want to say some things that i’ve been thinking about for a long time now while a couple people might actually stop to listen.

The united states of america is the most powerful country in the world.

What happens in the united states government this fall will affect every single person on the planet, in some way, for better or worse.

You aren't just voting blue to avoid trump turning the united states into an alt-right theocratic dictatorship (which on its own is bad enough). You're also voting to avoid the right from gaining power (where they haven't already) in of other powerful democratic countries. You're voting to stop Palestine (and let’s be real, probably a handful of other places) from being wiped off the face of the planet with nuclear bombs. You're potentially voting to avoid a third world war. I'm not saying this to spread fear of these things happening. I'm saying this because if you're not already aware of how huge the scope is here: you're not voting to save your country, you're very likely voting to save the entire world.

I can't speak to how people feel everywhere (if you’re also a non-usamerican please feel free to share how this is/has/will affect your country in the notes) but I want to speak to my own for a bit. I can confidently say that what happens in america heavily affects the political and social situation here in canada. We would not have had a convoy of thousands of people drive across the country (which takes days to do) to occupy our capital city for a month and halt almost $4 billion in trade to protest, i kid you not, wearing a mask during covid, if trump supporters hadn't paved the way (and directly influenced canadians to follow in their footsteps). We wouldn't have had "concerned parents" protesting against sex-ed and LGBTQ+ inclusivity in schools (protests full of armed+mounted police which they brought their young children to during school hours) if trump supporters hadn't paved the way. There are people waving flags and signs around on street corners along major roads every single week everywhere from the largest city in our country to small towns of under 5000 people. I’ve heard of people who’ve spiraled into such severe conspiracy rabbitholes that their entire lives and personalities have changed in just a few years. Despite being canadian nationalists, these people and their patterns of behaviour are all a direct result of donald j trump and his followers. And no matter your political leaning, pretty much everyone hates our current prime minister, our economy is bad, even people with decent incomes can’t afford to eat, and everyone is frothing at the mouth for something to happen. If america votes trump this fall, I see very little hope that our country won't vote conservative (our main right-wing party). They will backpedal decades of LGBTQ+ rights and Indigenous peoples' rights and climate action funding and children's education and a whole pile of other important stuff. They have made it very clear that they will follow the exact same path as right wing america and there are a scary amount of people here who want that. And even if canada remains centre/left while sharing the largest land border in the world with a trump dictatorship....well I for one can’t see that going over very well either.

And that's just my country. I know a lot of other countries have been battling a similar spike in alt-right groups and conservative ideologies following the last trump presidency. I don't think any of us are truly prepared for what will happen in the event of another one.

Look. I hate biden too. In general I disagree with the very concept of colonial government and money and the division of countries/states/etc and the legal/carceral system and a whole whack of other shit that we have to live with right now. Someone’s said this before but if any of us thought that telling you guys to blow up a walmart would save your country from a fascist dictatorship I for one would encourage it. But none of us are actually going to blow up a walmart, and it wouldn’t solve anything at this point anyways. We all have to take action in whatever ways we actually can and will. Voting is one of many small, simple steps you can take, should take, fucking better be taking. It’s easy, it’s legal, if you mail in you don’t even have to go to the polling station, and if you really can’t vote for whatever reason, encourage everyone you know who can to do so. Hell, if I could vote on november 5th I would crawl my ass over the border on my hands and knees to do it. I'm sorry that the two options are a fascist police state and an even worse fascist police state run by a man who thinks he's a god, but not voting won't fix that problem. You're not going to establish a revolution by purposefully not taking part in social change, and encouraging others not to either. Not voting against trump = voting for trump. If you don't vote and that orange nukefucker takes over your country it is your fault. And we’re all going to pay for your inaction, especially the people in places like Palestine who will be in significantly more danger than they already are if trump gets his fake tanned hands on the situation.

Anyways. Keep fighting. Stay safe. Do what you can. Don't give up. There is always hope for a better future. And for fucks sake go vote.

Oh and if we do end up in the worst timeline this november and I see you anti-voting fuckers making "lmao time to move to canada" jokes...count your fucking days.

-

TLDR: usamerica is not the only place in the world affected by the actions of usamerica. If you’re still railing against voting at this point you’re pro-trump lmao.

[7grandmel]

Rip of the week: 19/08/2024

Ascension to Apotheosis

Season 8 Featured on: The Joke-Explainer 7000™'s Highest Quality Rips: Sunrise

Ripped by Neofall

Requested by eg_9371! (Request Form)

Tentative rip name: Apotheosis to Heaven

A big part of why I opened up the Request Form, and why I continue to use it for ideas for the blog, is to give me inspiration in areas of SiIvaGunner to which I'm less well versed. There are some games and some rips by extension where I feel completely unable to write anything of substance, because I just lack the needed context for the rip to hit for me - but other times, the form opens my eyes to rabbitholes which I'm all too happy to delve into, through rips like Plantasia 2, mlp racism anthem (comix zone arrange), guess what​?​?​?​?​?​?​?​? and more. I've learned to trust eg_9371's judgement on quality as a requestee, and many parts of his massive catalogue of contributions have shown me quality in areas I'd never thought to look, through rips like kris gaming and Plasmaseeker. And so, I said, you know what? Let's give his endorsement one more shake, and approach a rip I'd initially looked past as not being for me. With that, I hit play on Ascension to Apotheosis - and was met with one of the biggest surprise hits I'd yet heard in the season.

Journey is a game that hits home for a lot of people, yet it was just outside of my periphery when it originally released back in 2012 - I was an 11-year old without a PS3. But even without attachment to Journey, Apotheosis as an ending theme to the game hits home to a degree I wasn't expecting, a swelling orchestral piece going through feelings of anticipation, sorrow, bittersweetness, acceptance, all throughout the span of a 7-minute long composition. The overall word to describe it, of course, would be grand. Yet much the same can be said, on the complete opposite end method, for the song with which Ascension to Apotheosis is being mashed up with, Ascension to Heaven by independant artist Xi. Like with the aforementioned Plasmaseeker, this is a song I know damn near nothing about, most prominently being featured in various Japanese rhythm games but seemingly also having a presence within the Geometry Dash community. Yet despite holding even less of an emotional connection to me than Journey did, it cannot be denied just how impressive of a piece Ascension to Heaven truly is, pairing a pounding electronic percussion with mellow strings and absolutely off-the-rails piano rolls - what feels like three entirely different forms of music and speed, mesh together for a piece with a sound I can only describe with the imagery of a lone bird flying toward the sun.

Loneliness, bittersweetness, strife, failure, perseverance - the emotions distilled into me through these two tracks are ones that were no doubt eons stronger for someone with attachment to either of the works from beforehand, and most definitely strong within ripper Neofall upon creating Ascension to Apotheosis. These are two songs that are both pulsing with emotion, yet accomplish it through very sonically different methods, one through swelling orchestral resonance, and the other through a pounding piano-driven rhythm. Yet that emotional core remains, and through some miracle and no doubt tons of love for the pieces featured, Neofall found a way to blend the two pieces into one grand feature - leveraging Apotheosis' atmosphere and grandure in order to use it as background scoring to Ascension to Heaven's insane melody. Even with one piece falling to the background and another to the foreground, however, it never feels as if one is overpowering the other - the two leverage one another's strengths seamlessly for a listen that manages to hit harder than just the sum of both's parts.

Without a thorough understanding of music creation or of either track's true sonic makeup, part of me does still feel uneducated, in a sense, to be writing about a rip of this quality in sound and scale - it's a mashup like many others, yes, yet every part of it feels ironed out and sandpapered to sheer seamless perfection between two tracks that would otherwise feel borderline incompatible. Yet...seeing such quality persist within areas of the channel that I remain uneducated on, feels like part of the magic of the SiIvaGunner channel. We are currently on SiIvaGunner's 8th year in the running, with its rippers having grown all the more able to express their passions and interests than ever before - and Season 7 and Season 8 have, in turn, given us some of the most ambitious, personal rips we've yet seen on the channel. Be it Luna, mi Amor, edge of a balcony, The Paragoomba and the Wiggler, or so many more, we've had an onslaught of rips still only made by one to three people that feel creatively driven and magical enough to be justifiably mistaken for months-in-the-making passion projects. And even without a direct tie to its source material, Ascension to Apotheosis gives me that very same vibe: Of one ripper seeing what can be done through utilization of two tracks close to their heart, and going absolutely hog-wild in ensuring the execution be up to the standards raised by so many other parts of the SiIvaGunner team.

It is a blessing that we can be eight years into this channel's life, and still have rips of this caliber slip entirely through the cracks as if they're nothing but everyday, average rips. Today, the hearts of the SiIvaGunner team is on full display at just about every day of its operation - and I am eternally grateful that such seemingly niche pursuits like Ascension to Apotheosis remain part of that.

[shortpplfedup]

Episode 10 has put me squarely in my Jeng feelings in a way I have not obsessed about a character probably since Teh Krittikorn Saetun. After watching him compartmentalize his way into a complete abdication of responsibility this week, and having read literally every piece of stellar meta the fandom has churned out, but especially from folks like @bengiyo and @nakasomethingkun about the corporate setting actually being the point of this story...I'm completely down the rabbithole, no way out guys. I vacillate between my optimistic and pessimistic expectations on how satisfactorily this story will wrap. @lurkingshan and @neuroticbookworm STAY on Tee's ass and I can't quite say they're wrong. But the thing I'm now 100% sure about is that the romance is not the point of this story. The romance is here in service of points Tee wants to make and themes he wants to explore around capitalism and queerness (second time Tee is going hard at this idea, after poking at it in Lovely Writer). Tee is using romance because it's the most effective way to make queerness legible for and saleable to a general audience, WHICH IS IN ITSELF A COMMENTARY ON CAPITALISM AND QUEERNESS BUT I JUST BLEW MY OWN DAMN MIND AND HAVE TO PUT THAT IDEA DOWN FOR NOW.

Jeng, Jeng is the character sitting at the intersection, at the tension point between capitalism and queerness. Jeng, who thanks to @waitmyturtles DRILLING Asian family dynamics into my head over the last few months, I have realised is incredibly unlikely to be able to escape his fate as the heir to Jian Group. Why does Jeng work TWO FULL TIME JOBS? Because he can only have the things he wants if he also accepts the things he never wanted. He can't abandon Jian Group, but he can build next to it an entire other life: Pearl & Oliver, queer speakeasies, doing his little part to minimize food waste and support a marginalized community, and Pat. COMPARTMENTALIZATION. For all Jeng's big talk about work/life integration, he doesn't even consider that he can mesh the things he wants with the things he's obligated to do until Pat points it out to him under that bridge. Shouts to the homie @wen-kexing-apologist for breaking that scene down and making me realise that moment is the closest Jeng got this episode to the shape of the relationship he actually wants with Pat. But I'm getting ahead of myself.

I say all that by way of preamble (I'm a long-winded bitch, strap in) on the way to one of my actual points: nobody actually KNOWS Jeng Kittiphong Atthachiranon. Even the two people closest to him in the story, Jaab and Tae, only know pieces. Pat barely knows him at all, because even though he desperately WANTS Pat to know him, the boss thing was a barrier to that, and now they've speedrun straight into a unholy mess when they should have been truly getting to know each other. You can see how, were it not for Jeng's slow motion rolling breakdown (of which his intense infatuation with Pat is honestly part and parcel) and Pat's role at Jian Group, these two could have spent a year at this pace, fucking and talking and falling in love and it would have been FINE. But the life Jeng never wanted broke containment and rolled over Pat, and now here they are.

@plantsarepeopletoo pointed out how the narrative punishes characters for going too fast or out of order (Jaab and Jen), and rewards those who take their time and stay the course (Chot). We thought Jeng would be the latter. That's the Jeng we're introduced to: calm, sensible, logical, responsible, in control. But that Jeng is a TOTAL SHAM, that Jeng is a façade built to meet the world's expectations of him, a carefully crafted and cultivated image of cisheteropatriarchal corporate masculine perfection. The Jeng who has been panting after Pat for the better part of a year and doing absolutely INSANE shit to get next to him, that's the real Jeng. This episode was Jeng trying to rebuild the wall between his two lives after having it collapse last ep and utterly failing BECAUSE PAT NOW IS PART OF HIS LIFE ON BOTH SIDES OF THAT WALL. He cannot neatly compartmentalize Pat into his Desired Life, because Pat also has to exist in his Expected Life. And Pat doesn't actually know Jeng, because this is all happening too fast and out of order, so he doesn't know that Jeng is in the middle of a full-on existential crisis as his two worlds collide.

Sidenote: Pat accidentally hit on Jeng's compartmentalization tendencies early in the show I realize, when he drunkenly whinged about how he couldn't understand why Jeng felt like two different people, and he didn't know which one was the real one. I think that sort of bullseye targeting at the heart of Jeng is one of a host of reasons Jeng fell so hard and so totally for Pat: he thought Pat understood him on some level. It's why having to come out to Pat, having to explain himself when he thought he didn't have to, knocked him onto the back foot and things haven't REALLY been right with them since.

It's so sad, and SO QUEER that Jeng is living this double life and it's slowly breaking him. He's coming apart at the seams trying to hold it all and not lose any of it. Jeng talked a good game about work/life integration, but the flip side of that is bringing your whole self to work. And he can't do that, he can't even think of doing that, right? But he's gotta do something because now Pat has been dragged into the mess, and worse yet Pat has brought Jeng's Desired Life to the direct and un-ignorable attention of the key figure in Jeng's Expected Life: his father. And while I think Jeng's father is aware of his Desired Life (disapprovingly natch, but silently allowing it as long as Jeng continues to live his Expected Life), I think he's stood ready to stamp it out the minute it becomes a problem. And the problem has arrived. That's why Jeng looks so sick when he realizes that Pat went to his father to resign. The shit has truly hit the fan. Compartmentalization is over.

[magnetothemagnificent]

would it be ok if i asked for your perspective on ethel cain's forehead tattoo? apparently it's the names of ashmedai and gabriel in hebrew. her whole thing/image is based around an aesthetization of christian imagery (in a way that is pretty indistinguishable from that tumblr catholicism imagery people are so fond of, though in her words her focus is on southern baptism), so it seems strange, to say the least. but i'm not jewish so i can't tell if that feeling is unfounded and i'm just being nitpicky or something.

I had to look this person up, and yeah, your instincts are correct, it's............a chock-full of cultural appropriation. Gavriel is the guardian angel of the Jewish people, and Ashmodai is the king of the Shedim (demons). Ashmodai was captured by King Shlomo and was coerced into aiding in the building of the Beit HaMikdash, the First Jewish Temple. Both figures are deeply important in Judaism. Now, Christianity has already appropriated both of these a long time ago, and so in the context of explicitly Christian imagery and language (y'know, like in Greek or Latin or English), I'd just shrug and roll my eyes. But this.............yeah this is flat-out yet another example of Alt-scene ex-Christians treating Judaism and Hebrew like a ~spooky~ ~ancient~ aesthetic. It'd be different if it was in Latin letters, but no, she had to do it in Hebrew because the ~vibes~....

It's clear just by the way her fans talk about her......

From JankySmooth

After falling down a rabbithole learning about this person, I'm also suspicious about her entire aesthetic. It's a "reclamation" of the Preacher's (white) Daughter aesthetic...........but honey as a white woman you're not reclaiming anything by adopting an aesthetic associated with conservatism and white supremacy. I don't care if she's a trans woman, it's weird as fuck to read about her fans and their devotion to her, and the aesthetics she and her fans adopt.

And reading that she grew up Southern Baptist, I'm not surprised. They are notorious for appropriation of Judaism. I need white gentile trans people to understand that they are very much capable of and often do perpetuate antisemitism and racism.

TLDR: Yes, it absolutely is appropriation, and the more I read about this person, the more disturbed I am.

[id in alt text]

[aihoshiino]

I did some mathing in my brain about when is AI’s and the Twins birthdays since I’m trying to figure out with what we got in the prologue since Aka never gave anyone birthdays and the time line of seasons is a fuck here. but I’m thinking Ai just turned 16 around the same time she was discovered to be 20 weeks along(5 months) and it starts snowing when her death/20th birthday but the twins birth it also starts snowing with the reincarnation happens.Japan usually starts having snow around mid December til early April so I’m shooting that AI’s birthday is around December while the twins might be late march if im doing a ball park guess I know this is weird thing to bring up in a ask but if Akasaka doesn’t give us birthdays then the fans gonna have to do it with the context clues we get especially since she’s still 16 when the twins are like … 6 months. Idek I’m rambling and want to know of your take cause I love your takes

please undrstand i am saying this with nothing but love but this ask briefly sent me down a rabbithole of forbidden knowledge and insanity and i feel like a lovecraft protag who has seen too much. I THINK i have made sense of all this but.................... listen akasaka clearly didn't think about it the same way i'm doing here so really, i guess i'm the clown in this scenario. heehoo.

The most direct clue we get about when Ai's birthday falls is in Viewpoint B, during her conversation with Kyun. The flashback portion of the story is implied to take place in December (the framing device is set in December and Kyun's recent breakup happened 'right before Christmas') and Ai's upcoming fifteenth birthday is mentioned indirectly; she talks about being about to age out of the children's home she'd been staying in which would put her birthday either in December or January.

This is also supported by the fact that the the snowfall that occurs after her death is noted to be unseasonably early. Given that the series is set mostly in Tokyo which mostly gets its snow in January, December makes the most sense for her birth month. In addition, during the little happy memories montage at the end of the episode, we see the family celebrating Christmas in a space that has exclusively Christmas decorations — so Ai's birthday is not close enough to the 24th or 25th for those sorts of celebrations to overlap. With all that in mind, my best guess for Ai's birthday is late November/early December. I personally like to headcanon it as November 28th, as it matches the timeframe and is when the real life Strawberry Productions Fan Thankgiving event was held.

As for the twins birthday, my instinct was to try and guesstimate this based on the details of Ai's pregnancy. We're directly told by the text that it lasted the full 40 weeks (which is actually not as common for twins — Ruby and Aqua were a bit late!) and that a few months have passed by the time she returns to working as an idol; Aqua and Ruby are using walkers the day she returns from her hiatus and babies are not typically physically capable of using them until around six months old. Obviously the twins are a bit more mobile than a regular baby would be much earlier, but they do seem to be reasonably constrained by the physical limits of their bodies so I feel pretty comfortable saying around six months have passed by the time Ai comes off hiatus. This also makes sense in terms of Ai's health, since it takes about six months to fully recovery from childbirth.

20 weeks post hiatus pregnancy + six months postpartum recovery = ten to eleven months passed between Ai arriving at the hospital and returning from her hiatus. It's also worth noting that she may not actually still be 16 around this time? When Saitou talks about her age, he mentions her becoming a mother at 16 which is obviously the age she had the kids, but it does leave room for her to have had a birthday between getting pregnant and actually having them.

With that 20 week starting point in mind, though, we can use the remaining 20 weeks of her pregnancy to try and narrow things down a bit more.

Using the anime as reference, it seems to be around early/mid autumn when Ai arrives at the hospital. If you look at the greenery behind Gorou when he's up on the roof, you can see there's patches where leaves are starting to show their autumn colours.

Since the hospital is all the way out in Takachiho, where autumn typically lasts between November and early December (if I'm remembering right?), my best guess would be that Ai arrived at the hospital probably late November or early December.

With that in mind, the remaining 20 weeks of her pregnancy playing out in full, that means the twins' birthday must be in mid to late April. This is actually implicitly confirmed to be the case in the series itself: while Ruby's age (and therefore Aqua's by extension) is given as 14 at the start of volume 2, they are already sixteen by the time LoveNow starts airing, which happens not long after they start high school - and the Japanese school year starts in April.

I'm choosing to headcanon them on the earlier side of April, just because that places them smack dab in the middle of cherry blossom season for Tokyo, which both makes them spring babies in contrast to Ai and ties nicely into how cherry blossoms represent rebirth and new beginnings.

anyway watch me post this ask and then next chapter confirms the twins were born or october 5th or some shit.............

[loorain]

Sims 4 Fontenot Legacy - Saturday Night Studies

While the adults are out on their date, Alma and Audrey are having a different kind of Saturday night.

Audrey is hard at work on her presentation for the first day of school. It's a simple book report just to introduce the kids to each other and get to know everyone, but Audrey takes it very seriously. She even asks Auntie Scarlett to use her desk in order to fully concentrate.

Of course, that doesn't stop her sister from making an entrance.

Alma: Hey, Auds! What are you doing in here?

Audrey: Just finishing up my homework. That way I can enjoy Sunday stress-free! It's the last day before school starts, after all!

Alma: Ah, school schmool. It's just a rabbithole. How hard could it be?

Audrey: Well I still want to be prepared. How far have you gotten with your work?

Alma: It's coming along.

Audrey: Is it? You know Mom's gonna check it tomorrow.

Alma: I'll get it done! You doubt me?

Audrey: I doubt you'll concentrate long enough to finish it.

Alma: Dang! You could've at least lied a little!

The two laugh.

Audrey: Just don't put it off. You know Mom won't be happy if you do.

Alma: Sis, you really overreact! This homework is a piece of cake! I can get it done in my sleep.

Audrey: So you say.

Alma: I mean it! I'll go get some done right now!

Audrey: Well, go find somewhere else to work so I don't have to hear the cogs in your head turning.

Alma: Ha ha.

Audrey: Good luck!

Alma does indeed find a quiet spot to try her hand at the work.

Alma: Okay, let's see what's this all about. Eight of Grim's pets aren’t cowplants, five aren’t crows, and seven aren’t axolotls. How many pets does he have? Hmm...

The moments tick by. More. And more. The words seem to all mush themselves on the page. Alma does really try to work through it.

Alma: Maybe if... no. Oh, what if.... no.

The longer she sits there staring at it, the harder it seems to be to understand.

Alma: I need a break.

And there's a perfect companion to enjoy a break with.

Alma: Okay, buddy. Let's try to teach you some skills, yeah? Now, sit.

Ziggy, surprisingly, responds to the command on the first try.

Alma: Wha- that worked?! Alright, Ziggy! You might just be the smartest dog on the planet! Now let's see if you can do it again, yeah?

After some time, Audrey successfully finishes her own work. She feels really confident about herself and looking forward to enjoying the rest of her weekend the way she wants to. Of course, she can only imagine what her sister's progress looks like. Still, she has to know for herself.

Audrey: This doesn't look like doing your homework.

Alma: I'm taking a break. Ziggy's doing some learning right now. Show her boy! Sit!

Again, Ziggy does manage to obey the command.

Alma: See? He's a genius! Just wait until I can get him jumping through hoops! Maybe we can start a circus!

Audrey: There's no circus DLCs. Did you read too much about the Sims 1?

Alma: Aww, come on, Auds! Have a little imagination!

Audrey: I do! It's what helped me finish my book report!

Alma: Ugh, did you come down here just to annoy me?

Audrey: Alma, if you need help I can give you a hand. It's no problem.

Alma: I don't need help! I'm just... taking a break. I'll get it done.

Audrey: If Mom finds out--

Alma: Mom won't find out unless you tell her. You gonna be a tattletale?

Audrey sighs. For as much bickering as they do, it's obvious that Audrey cares for her sister deeply. She doesn't want her to fall behind and she doesn't want her to get in trouble. Alma loves Audrey too, she just expresses that love differently.

Alma: I'm gonna keep working with Ziggy. Come on boy, let's do it again, kay?

Audrey doesn't say anything more. After a while, she hears the front door unlock and soft chatter. Sigrid and Robin are back from their date.

Robin: Man, what a night, huh?

Sigrid: Definitely. Bed is callin' me, for sure.

Robin: Let's go see what the girls are up to first.

Audrey greets them.

Robin: Well, hey there missy! Were you waiting up for us?

Audrey: I heard you coming in.

Sigrid: It's a little past your bedtime, but since it's your last night before an official school night I'll let you bend the rules a bit.

Robin: Good to see you, sweetpea. Missed you.

Sigrid: So how was your evening?

Audrey: I finished my book report.

Sigrid: You did? Wonderful! I'll be sure to check it out tomorrow, okay? I'm sure it's wonderful.

Audrey: I worked really hard on it. I think it turned out well.

Robin: That's awesome, honey. Where's your sister?

Audrey: Um, she's training Ziggy.

Robin: Training?

Audrey: Teaching him how to sit.

Sigrid: Wow! How's that coming?

Audrey: She got him to do it a couple times.

Robin: So awesome to hear. Now you girls can start splitting up the chores for him. Walking him, cleaning up after him, filling his food bowl...

Sigrid: Well that's a chat for another day. For now, it's late, and it's up to bed with you.

Audrey can't hold it in.

Audrey: Mom, Dad... I think Alma's having some trouble with her work.

Robin: Oh?

Audrey: Yeah, and she won't let me help her. She didn't me to tell you, but I don't want her to fall behind, and she keeps saying she's going to finish it, and--

Sigrid: Okay.

Robin and Audrey: Okay?

Sigrid: She has one more day to work on it. We'll discuss it. Don't worry, Auds.

Audrey: Okay... just don't tell her I told you, okay?

Sigrid: Of course, honey. Now, bedtime.

After getting the kids into bed, the two adults retire to their bedroom.

Robin: Ah... well, that was interesting.

Sigrid: Tell me about it.

Robin: Are we really not going to talk to Alma about her homework?

Sigrid: We will. I just want to give her a little more time. If she's not done by the afternoon, we'll step in.

Robin: You sure?

Sigrid: It sounds like she's begun. I want her to have the freedom to get it done on her own timeline until it's obvious she needs the extra support. I don't want her to feel embarrassed. She's so proud. She won't ask for help easily.

Robin: That is very true.

Sigrid: Let's not worry just yet. At any rate, I want to enjoy the rest of our night off as much as possible.

Robin: Right. Speaking of which...

Robin pulls the classic move. Sigrid seems to be into it.

Sigrid: Ah, just what I needed.

Robin: I really did have fun with you today.

Sigrid: Same. You looked good behind that turntable.

Robin: I always forget how much you admire my creative side.

Sigrid: You're the talent between the two of us. I'm sure I sounded like a screaming banshee during karaoke.

Robin: Aww, come on, you weren't that bad.

Sigrid: You're in love with me. I don't trust your judgment.

Robin laughs.

Robin: Shouldn't you trust my judgment more since I'm in love with you?

Sigrid: So you're not lying to me?

Robin opens his mouth, but he can't get himself to say it. Sigrid laughs.

Sigrid: Figures.

Robin: I still love you, even if you can't sing.

Sigrid: Gee. Thanks.

Robin: I can't believe Sabrina and Beau just ditched us like that, though.

Sigrid: I can. They're so in love, Juno's at his dad's, and Beau's got his own apartment. Perfect recipe for a salacious sleepover.

Robin: What a concept. I like how our night's going.

Sigrid: So do I. Can't wait to slip into bed, hold hands, and knock out. I'm exhausted.

Robin: So am I.

Sigrid: I love you. I love this life. Just being a simple, married couple, taking care of our girls. There's no place I'd rather be than right here.

Robin: I feel the same way.

Sigrid: Good. Now let's get changed and go to bed.

Robin: Yes ma'am. But first, a quick goodnight kiss?

Sigrid: I think I can manage that.