#I feel kinda bad doing this to the journalist though

[edge-oftheworld]

Luke Hemmings Is a Fountain of Existentialism on His New Single — And He Doesn’t Want to Turn It Off 

In an exclusive interview, the 5 Seconds of Summer singer tells Rolling Stone about "Shakes," planning for the future, and exploring childlike wonder on his upcoming solo project Boy, out April 26

BY LARISHA PAUL

MARCH 6, 2024

IT’S NOT OFTEN that Luke Hemmingsfinds himself on his own. For the better part of the past 12 years, the 27-year-old singer and songwriter has shared the stage with his three bandmates in 5 Seconds of Summer. The Australian pop-rock band has built its career around being a relentless touring act, playing to thousands-deep audiences on nearly back-to-back runs in support of five studio albums. Four years ago, when that cycle was interrupted for the first time, Hemmings retreated into himself. 

His first solo album, When Facing the Things We Turn Away From (2021), was a meditation on a decade’s worth of experiences he didn’t have time to process as they were happening. That kind of self-interrogation would continue as he sought to understand himself more deeply on an individual level, and recently, he realized he felt inklings of isolation while deeply immersed in crowds. He felt it while glancing out of car windows in Los Angeles, his home away from his native Sydney; touring the world with 5SOS; and walking the streets of New York, where he wrote most of his second solo project, Boy, out April 26.

“It has this loneliness and this yearning to be home again, but in different ways,” Hemmings tells Rolling Stone over Zoom from L.A. “I’m surrounded by people all the time. I’m in hotels and planes and playing shows and all this stuff, which obviously has great parts in that. But for some reason, I’ve found it more difficult to be on tour recently, just mentally and within myself as a person.” During those stretches of time away from home, the singer found himself transfixed on watching his world change in real time. “People are having kids, people are getting married — or they’re not and they’re stressed about it,” Hemmings, who is married to songwriter Sierra Deaton, explains. “Life starts happening whether you’re checking in or not.” 

“Shakes,” the first single from Boy, sifts through this sense of wonder. Reuniting with producer Sammy Witte (Harry Styles, SZA, Halsey), Hemmings moves through a haze of perspectives marked by different distortions of his own voice. Even when he’s alternating between narrator and protagonist — like when his yearning for comfort is interrupted by the whispered realization “the city tends to move on all the same” — it’s all still him. “Whenever I try and write from other perspectives, I’ll get across some things and some details will come in,” he says. “But then eventually, particularly with the nature of this as a solo thing, it always ends up being autobiographical to some extent. If I try and run from that, it always seems to catch up to me.” 

Here, Hemmings tells Rolling Stone about exploring existential, childlike wonder on Boy, challenging the boundaries of his anxiety while becoming more confident outside of 5SOS, and what he’s most excited about exploring musically and visually as a solo artist.

“Shakes” essentially being a love song is such a contrast to When Facing the Things We Turn Away From, where you were mostly sitting with and interrogating these dark and complicated feelings. What made you want to lead with it? It initially started in New York as one of the earliest songs that was written for this. I was experimenting with writing from other people’s perspectives and observing. Almost in a Lost in Translation way, where you’re observing the world and real life seems a bit intense. That’s where the chorus came from. The chorus was written a year and a half ago, and then some of the verses were written two months ago. The story sort of changes, and it becomes this mix of different feelings because over those nine months since you wrote the first part, you’ve obviously lived even more. Songs take on new meanings even as you’re writing them, which was really cool to experience. It still has the feeling of the first album, but it is different and I wanted to lead with that, which I think is really a bit braver.

How did that inform your creative direction? Because it’s a short album, or a long EP — whatever way you look at it — I really wanted to make it [cohesive]. We went down to Bogota in Colombia and worked with a director there. There’s going to be a “Shakes” video, but there’s going to be other videos along with it. It’s all tied in together. I tried to do that on the first album and we did a good job, but I think on this one it feels like you’re getting lost in it a bit. It feels like more of an all-encompassing world, and I really was striving for that. Even before the songs were fully finished, we had a good idea of what they felt like and I made a big deck of my references, which pulled from all different places. It was a lot of Lost in Translation and Paris, Texas — things where, obviously, I’m the protagonist, but the background is also a star in it. The landscape is very much a part of it.

Your first album emerged almost subconsciously from a time of stillness and reflection. What was it like exploring this new project more intentionally? I’ve been thinking about that a lot. When you write all these songs, you forget that you’ve got to relive it again and be like, “Why did I write these? What are they about? How did we get here?” And I think you’re right, that first album I didn’t really plan it to happen until it was like, “Oh, this is an album.” I really fell in love with having a different outlet, musically and emotionally. It was really fun this time to dive into the things that I loved about the first album and just expand on them. Even small moments like “A Beautiful Dream,” which was kind of an outlier on the first album.

With this new one, there’s an emotion I can tap into within myself to write songs for this project that I found really freeing, and I’ve understood way more about myself as a person from doing this. It has this loneliness and this yearning to be home again, but in different ways. I’m surrounded by people all the time. I’m in hotels and planes and playing shows and all this stuff, which obviously has great parts in that. But for some reason, I’ve found it more difficult to be on tour recently, just mentally and within myself as a person. I can still tap into that same emotion from the first album, but it seems more refined in a different way because it’s that same feeling, but in a new environment.

Was that a linear process for you, having to get something out on that first album in order to settle into the mindset of this one? Yeah, 100 percent. I think the first time, I needed to do that in general in my life — whether it was putting it out, or just making it. It just needed to happen because whatever was going on with me needed to be put into song form. It’s how I deal with things. I wouldn’t have put out this next batch of songs as a first album. I needed to ease into it. The first time was like: It needs to sound exactly like this, and it’s exactly these stories. This second batch of songs, “Shakes” included, is a bit more up for interpretation, which I really like because I’ve been leaning more towards artists that have songs and lyrics you can make your own story to. Obviously there’s moments that are very personal to me, and there’s stories that are mine, but I write them over different periods of time.

You’ve always seemed to be deeply protective of your relationship, keeping those really meaningful moments as insular as possible. What has your experience been navigating that public and private life balance? Me and Sierra are very, very private. Songs and the music I make are windows into moments in my life. If you’re looking to understand more of me, that’s definitely the way to do it. Because the band started so young and it was all very public, naturally now I’m such a homebody and such an introvert. Getting older, I understand more about myself and what makes me happy. I love the fact that the band and myself can put out music and people will listen to it. That’s such a blessing and a gift — playing big shows, and we can talk to you at Rolling Stone. I’m so thankful for that.

But I think I’ve just gotten better at setting boundaries for myself. I’m such an emotional person that anything anyone says, I really take to heart. So separating myself from that a little bit is super important. And Sierra is the same; it’s a big influence from her. We have our own little world. There’s moments where you let people learn, but we just protect some of it and keep some of it for ourselves. Some of my favorite artists are like that. It makes me a bit anxious to be sharing everything.

The first proper album you ever made,5 Seconds of Summer, came out almost 10 years ago. What do you remember about experiencing that process for the first time? When I think back to it now, it was like there was no overthinking at all. There was a buzz around the band, but we hadn’t put out an album yet. I didn’t really know what that meant, exactly — putting out an album and then going on tour. All these things were very new. It’s crazy that it’s been that long, but it feels — I mean, it feels like 10 years ago. It feels honestly like 20 years ago. I still come back to some of those songs now. We play them live and people are transported to another time. I remember it being so much fun. It’s fun now, but when you’re doing something for the first time, you’re sort of like, “I don’t know what’s going on right now.” It’s a really exciting time. I just remember being really naive and having lots of fun. As lame as that sounds, it was so childlike. There’s no jadedness yet or anything like that.

It’s jarring how fast that jaded feeling comes on and replaces that carefree feeling, especially being in your twenties now. I started writing this when I was just turning 27. And when you look around, you look at your friends and you’re looking at family or people around you and you’re like, “OK, shit’s getting real now.” People are having kids, people are getting married — or they’re not and they’re stressed about it. Life starts happening whether you’re checking in or not. It’s funny you bring that up because that’s such a big theme across the whole album.

Why was Boy the most succinct title to capture this particular record? It comes up a few times on a couple of songs. It’s existential, childlike wonder. It has that feeling to it of trying to understand the world around you and why I am the way I am. A lot of it is questioning, why do I feel like this? Why do I interact with the world like this and see it this way? I think there’s a certain point where you have to decide whether you’re going to face life or just stay in the place you are. Boy is a really lovely way to simplify that.

Is this self-interrogation providing you with comprehensive answers, or are you coming out on the other side with even more questions? I’m always gonna have questions about it. I don’t know if there will ever be an end to it, but it’s certainly getting a bit closer every day, every time I write about it, or as the years go on. The things that I was emotionally chasing after on the first album, I’ve held onto those. And then you have a couple of years of wisdom under your belt to look back and be like, OK, I’ve done this. I’ve emotionally worked through these things. You’re always self-analyzing your life and as a songwriter, unfortunately, that’s just the way my brain works.

You’ve been on two tours with 5SOS in the past two years, but you also played two solo headlining shows in 2023. How did those songs change for you once you were able to play them to an audience for the first time? Going into making new songs, I think it was really important to play the first album live to see: Do I like this? Can I do this on my own? So much of my … self-worth is a bit harsh, but so much of my character is attached to being in a band for so long. But I think inherently when you do something on your own, even if you’re still in the band, it still is like, “Can I do this?” So it’s just a hurdle to get over mentally.

It was so cool to see people singing the words back. In Covid, I wasn’t going out and doing things, so I was thinking, “Did people even like this?” Having that when you’re playing shows, it felt good. It made me more confident in making more music. I was like, there’s a space for this — for me to make more tunes in this project and expand on it. It made me more excited to see how far it could go in its own little world and its own little bubble of melancholy.

What do you remember thinking right before you walked out? I was very nervous. It’s so funny because I’ve played with the band so many shows, hundreds of shows. And it gets to a point, especially when you’re on a 100-date tour, where as soon as you get past the first couple shows, you’re not really nervous anymore. It’s still fun, but you’re not anxious or apprehensive or on your toes. You just are doing it. You’re onstage playing it. I’ve been trying to get better at this — because I’m such an inherently anxious person — doing things that are outside of my comfort zone. So that was a big hurdle to be like, “I’m really, really anxious for this, but I know after I do it, I’m gonna be so glad I did that.” As soon as a few songs went by I was like, OK, this is cool.

Instead of existing in silos, it feels more like you’re creating a universe where your own music and some of the sounds and content of the band’s music are in conversation with one another. Yeah, definitely. We’ve been a band for 12 years, which is so crazy. I was 15 when we started; now I’m 27. I know solo projects can be scary for fans of bands, but for me it’s the way that the band can live on forever. In my eyes, that’s the way I see it. And I encourage everyone else in the band to follow whatever they want to do — if they’re having time off, having a kid, mowing their lawn. Whatever makes you happy. I’m just always writing songs, and at this point in time, I feel like I have so much to express and so much to say. I just feel so lucky to be able to put these songs together and have people want to hear them.

[hearts-4-vicky]

can you do quarterback minji x shy cheerleader reader? i literally just thought of this and i think it’s adorable

ty baby<3

warnings: kissing, fluff, swearing…, minji is cringe…(shes a loser to me) kinda short😭and um thats it😜

i only know a few things abt football so 🫠

(not proofread…)

The championship football game was already in its fourth quarter, with 50 seconds on the clock. To say Minji was stressed was a HUGE understatement, being the quarterback was cool and all😵‍💫 but when her team’s losing by 3 points its gonna get to her🥺The pressure was getting wayy too much for her since the school has been winning for 9 consecutive years. If they lose, not only will she be failing her school and her teammates, but also you🥺🥺🥺You were the reason she started playing football in the first place, her good luck charm, her cheerleader 🎀 Co-Captain and one of the flyers (someone thrown and lifted in stunts) in the schools cheer squad, y/n l/n (basic asf but shit thats the only option 😭)

Calling a timeout was the best option, all they needed was one touchdown and boom, win😝 though its gonna be harder since their best wide receiver, Yunjin, had suffered a bad shoulder injury just a few minutes before (idk who to put on this team😭) Minji had no game plan since it all relied on Yunjin’s speed and agility, she needed to think of something😵‍💫 Getting in a circle with her team, she speaks up “Okay guys! Just one more push and we win the whole thing right?” Minji flashes a grin, trying to be optimistic “how are we gonna score? Yunjins out and Yujin can barely run without staring at the cheer captain.. Look! She has heart eyes right now!” Haewon was right, Yujin wasn’t even listening to the team but staring at Wonyoung🥺(i love them) Minji noticed you were there too, talking with wony, laughing at something she said🎀 She unconsciously smiles at you, your smile brought light to the dark skies of the night and your laughter made her feel warm🥺 “Fuck.. I forgot you’re both down bad…” Ryujin mentions, the whole team starting to tease those two😭”Alright alright! Yujin, lets do this for our girlfriends… Everyone make sure no one is guarding her!” “Gotchu bro, but I think we need your pretty girlfriends to cheer us on real quickkk” Yuna pokes both Minji and Yujin🎀 “Suck my- “LETS GO BEARS!” (idk man😭) You and Minji make eye contact, “You got this” is what she reads from your lips. A fire lit in her heart as she saw you throw her a kiss, she’s ready for the game.

“HUT HUT! HIKE!” Minji scans the field for Yujin, seeing her in the open, she throws it to her. Caught it. Yujin sprints with everything she had as both teams were after her. One of the opposing team members came out of no where, making Yujin trip. Minji winces at it, must’ve hurt bad. She only thinks of one think,

We fucked it up. We lost.

“HOLY SHIT I DID IT?!” Yujin’s piercing shout got the attention of everyone, she got the ball past the goal line🙏

The stadium erupted into cheers as people started running to the field to celebrate😍😍😍 You full on SPRINT to see your girlfriend, pushing everyone out of the way (r u the football player now or what😭🙏)

Smiling brightly as you spot each other. Minji throws her helmet to the floor to catch you😵‍💫

“YOU WERE SO GOOD OUT THERE BABY!!!” You said as you jumped into Minjis open arms, kissing her face between every word🥺(me when) “I’m all sweaty babe! hol-“”don’ttt care!” Minji stifles a snort as you pepper her face so more, “couldn’t have done it without you, my sunshine” accepting your soft lips against every inch of her face while spinning you around had you both in your own world🥺🥺🥺 Both of you were giggling like teens in love (duh) as your lipstick stains her still sweaty face😛 you guys are taken back to reality as the school journalists come to interview you guys “Who would like to thank for this win Kim Minji?” the camera pans to you guys, still in her arms as she replies,

“My gorgeous girl right here!!”

you hide your face in her neck, blushing at her words

“And those marks on your face?”

“M-minji wait-“

“Also from this gorgeous girl!”

She’s never seen your face as red as it was before😭

with annyeongz

“but I scored the touchdown…”

“Let them have their moment love”

ive been wantin to write fluff again omg 🙏🙏

im sorry i havent been doing many requests lately, ive gotten a bit busier than usual😭 I need to get my grades up or else im out☹️Ive only been writin for school this week im so sorry if this isnt that good😭😭😭

Im really sorry my loves❤️ Stay safe and love you guys!!

-Vicky💋

[dnpanimationstudioclone]

Rewrite Ideas for Lila Rossi

I know there’s been a lot of criticism about Lila’s lies and how Marinette’s friends and other people trust Lila’s word over hers, especially Alya her best friend and journalist. What if Lila wasn’t just more careful with her lies(telling more believable lies with fake proof or atleast have benefit of the doubt, more cautious about threats and frame ups), but instead of telling negative lies about someone people should know better about, she instead uses already known truths against them. Does still manipulate certain things but also make those are unto her or see as a threat, dig their own graves, expose their own issues.  Ex, Like how Lila made Aya think the issue was just Marinette having a crush on Adrien and being jealous.

I think it would’ve worked more if Lila actually played into this more. Not just using Marinette’s crush on Adrien but her and the other’s biggest flaws(overthinking things, insecurity, digging herself deeper into her problems, etc) Using their issues and past mistakes to manipulate things in her benefit or atleast make people consider past issues that would make people have to also consider.

Marinette if she decided to just come out and say why she doesn’t trust Lila when she comes back as a new classmate, similar to when she talked to Alya and Nino.

Lila-I really dont get where all this skepticism’s coming from. I was only here one day and I don’t think we even got to meet, let alone talk, so how could you know anything I did-

Marinette-BECAUSE I FOLLOWED YOU!

Class-What!?

Lila-I’m sorry, what?😈

Marinette-I said I…oh boy. Realizes how bad that sounds and can’t really tell them the stuff she’d have to known as Ladybug.

Adrien-Wait I don’t get it, why follow us?

Class knowing Marinette’s huge crush on Adrien and the crazy things she has done involving him-…nervous coughs.

Ayla who also knows this and who Marinette told she was gonna follow them-Oh boy.

Later

Ayla-Listen Lila I’m really sorry, I should’ve stopped her. Are you gonna bring this up with the teachers?

Lila- Hey, don’t worry about it. I mean you’re her friend, not her mom, it’s not your responsibility to watch what she’s up to. I’m just happy this was simply because she likes Adrien and not because she really thinks I’m some “evil manipulative mastermind”, this doesn’t feel like anything I need to involve a teacher with, not like anyone got really hurt. I’ll be honest I have a problem sometimes being fully honest, I may exaggerate or tell a few white lies just simply to fit in, I’m not trying to hurt anyone. But seriously, we've only hung out like only a few times, he really is just a friend to me at this point. I’m sorry for all the trouble.

Alya- Don’t worry about it, honestly this isn’t really ur fault.

Lila-Well thanks and seriously, this isn’t really your fault either. Alya- Thank you. Still, maybe I should’ve been more concerned.

Lila- I mean these things happen, We’re teens, sometimes we might let our hormones get the better of us but I doubt this stuff happen all the time, she seems like a good person. Besides if she did do something that really crossed the line, as her best friend, I’m sure you def would call her out or atleast make it clear u don’t support it, right?

Ayla-…

Lila-Do you think I should talk to Marinette?

Alya- No, no don’t worry about that. Maybe I should though.

Lila-Yeah, I’m sure you’re right. she’d probably listen better to a friend anyway 😈

and doesn’t just do this kinda stuff with Marinette but can pit the whole class against eachother If she plays the cards right, full on Mean Girls Watch The World Burn🔥🔥🔥. All while, looking completely inconspicuous and whatever she could’ve done would be seen as simply indirect or unintentional and certainly no way she could’ve known it would lead to such an outcome…right?

Lila-As such a great designer Marinette, I’d figure you’d understand that rather try to make something completely new, better to make the best out of the materials you already have! And there is just so much to work with, especially with you😈

And rather Marinette not trying to expose her because of Adrien's advice but rather her own self doubt. “What if I really am just jealous and overthinking this whole thing”, “I technically was in the wrong first for following them, granted I had to for the book but I didn’t know that at first”, “what if I make things worse and Alya…won’t be my friend anymore”…”she’s probably right, maybe Lila’s just harmless and it really is all in my head”…”maybe it is just me”.

I just like antagonists who make the protagonists consider their own moral character and actions, if they’re really as good as they think they are. Even if they’re manipulative liars who are trying to be dishonest, there’s always that certain part of what they say that can’t be fully brushed off as entirely wrong, sometimes even being the ones to call out the protagonists’s less moral actions and mistakes.  And I think Lila could’ve really had that sort of potential with Marinette. For better or for worse, her impact could make Marinette reflect on herself.

Lila-You’re the type of person who sees themselves as the hero in their own story and that everything you do is right, but truth is you can just as easily be the villain! You think my lies are bad? Half of what I say is just calling you out on your own mistakes. You just can’t handle the TRUTH!😈

what do u think? How’d u wanna rewrite Lila? I’d love to know💖

[hueberryshortcake]

paperinik week 12

this shit looks insane let's get going

MR PRESIDENT?

ok so i'm asking myself Where Is Uno

ooooh i like this thing where they're showing shots of the "normal" timeline because like. ok i got mild spoilers from reading the summary obviously but. it's Pink it's Glitchy and lyla is There. i really hope this one is more lyla-centered because i think she's super neat

angus fangus: donald do you think we would be enemies in every universe <3

wait lyla doesn't know he's pk... this is so sad

ODIN SIGHTING. is he... pretending to be biological

oh wait ok nvm

guys shout out androids (lyla and odin and nobody else probably) i love them

HELP ME HAHAAA

freak

ok i'm focused

yesss worldbuilding let's go

donald: SAY WHAAAT??

happy bisexual day to my favorite lesbian's favorite bisexual donald duck

donald's red sweater this is a sweater to me in my heart

i need like. journalist lyla lay superhero paperinik fake dating au so bad it's not even funny

lowkey wondering who's in the monk robes.... like are they just random monks or could this be someone important..... IMAGINE IF IT WAS LYLA AND ODIN AND THEY TIME TRAVELED BACK TO GUIDE DONALD

guys.

guys i guessed it.

guys i'm so smart.

guys i love lyla and odin.

i cannot express to you earnestly enough that i fully just guessed that out of random

hey girl

oh that's not my lyla with a bob cut it's a random droid ok

WHERE IS MY WIFE LYLA PK YOU HAVE TO SAVE HER SAVE HER PK

imagine he just like shows up guns a blazing to rescue her from wherever she's been kidnapped and she's just finished beating up all the bad guys and freeing herself like hey pk haha how's it going i'm fine

URETHRA!

OUTSIDE OF TIME AND SPACE IN THE ONLY PLACE WHERE IT IS POSSIBLE TO KEEP LYLA PRISONER?

i'm not sure how i feel about the philosophy of this issue because (keep in mind that i'm reading this during a lecture i'm probably not paying as good attention to it as i could) like "guys i don't like how droids are enslaved" is kinda fair [i still hate geena though she WISHES she was my best friend lyla] but also yeah maybe just don't touch the timeline please i think that's a really bad idea

what the fuck

what the fuck

what the fuck

what the fuck

what the fuck

what the hell

what the hell

what

what

what

what

i'm so upset

IT WASN'T SUPPOSED TO END LIKE THIS....

only machines can be reactivated...........

what the hell

mom come pick me up i'm scared what the hell

ODIN IS LYLA'S DAD????????

that's crazy. i'm going with that

that was crazy. oh my word. "hey guys i know we just watched geena complete her arc by trying to stage a violent uprising to achieve droid freedom but she fucked up reality so bad and ultimately sacrificed herself to save our heroes, dying onscreen to prove her own independence and autonomy as a living being.... anyway ANGUS TALES!!!! LOL!"

i skimmed angus tales tbh there's just humans in it i don't care i'm still devastated and shocked

second draft everybody. what the everlasting fuck.

[dimdiamond]

You know, what really strikes me with Tintin in Tibet is at the beginning, when Tintin gets Chang's letter, Haddock has no idea of who this boy is. Normally, we would expect, considering how important is for Tintin his friendship with Chang and vice versa, that Tintin would have talked about Chang at least once to Haddock and yet it seems like he hasn't. Understandably, our first thought is to be weirded out and kinda disappointed with Tintin and blame Herge for not handling his cast properly. But, I read this as how Tintin's character is.

I don't know how often Tintin and Chang exchange letters and how they keep in touch but it seems that it's not that often, or even if it is, Tintin doesn't get into the trouble to explain Haddock (hiding it from him is another explanation but I don't think it's that possible, considering Tintin's and Haddock's friendship and characters and how, if this was the case, Tintin wouldn't explain to Haddock from who the letter is and what it says). However, we see Tintin being really excited to receive Chang's letter and thrilled to meet him again after so long. So, the possibility of Tintin not cherishing or remembering his friend is nonexistent, especially if we take into consideration what happens to the rest of the book. Then why Tintin hasn't talked about Chang to Haddock? Has he even told him about his previous adventures, before meeting him?

I believe that this scene shows exactly Tintin's character and how he handles opening up to others. Simply he doesn't if he doesn't see any reason to do so. He tends to be secretive not from malice or anything bad, but because he isn't comfortable with being the centre of attention. Yeah, ironically, the famous journalist prefers to be a spectator and a listener than be on the scene and talk. Certainly this has helped to his job and his fame, as, even we, the readers, can't help but want to know more about him and see him. Tintin doesn't aim for this attention though and that's what it makes him appealing as a character.

Back to our topic, Tintin rarely talks about himself and when he does is because it just happened, not planning or intending to do so, and even then he gives so few information about him and his life (for example "I interviewed a pilot" and then never mentions it again). It is possible that Tintin has mentioned his trip to Shanghai or something of his adventure there but never went to the details. And this is the interesting part where Haddock hasn't asked for more details. More than once, Haddock has shown his respect to Tintin and his limits and never pressured him to anything. This is how their friendship, and most of their friendships with others, go. They accept each other for who they are now and their past won't change their opinion on them (actually they focus too much to the present but this is another topic). So, if this applies to both of them, why the need to say more?

My point with all this is that, instead of seeing Tintin's lack of mention of his friend (and any other irl person's to be frank) as something bad and mean, we should see it as how Tintin is and this doesn't diminish his feelings and his care and his bonds with others. For Tintin (and even Haddock) not talking about someone or something doesn't equal to dismissing it. He doesn't feel the need to say out loud something that he knows and feels already. If it happens to be mentioned he will talk and he won't lie. If it doesn't happen to be mentioned, then he won't initiate the talk. And for this exact reason I believe that Chang knows about Haddock and Calculus and maybe Nestor from Tintin's letters. Because Tintin's life and adventures revolves around them and he can't say something about him without mentioning them at least once (and probably after Tibet and staying home more the mentions become more and more).

Basically Tintin has the attention span of a cat (between other characteristics) and if something doesn't happen right in front of him he won't acknowledge it and that doesn't make him a bad person and friend.

[passerkirbius]

Rusty Quill Saga - 24 Hour Follow Up

Hi everyone! I appreciate all the new follows! Might actually get me posting more about stuff!

So, it's been about a day since I posted my response to the Rusty Quill article, and reading some of the tag comments I wanted to respond to a couple, again in the interests of helping those who aren't within the audio fiction community get a little context that you might not otherwise have had.

But I also wanted to put my cards on the table - why should you listen to me? Hi! My name is Lee Davis-Thalbourne, I'm Australian, and I'm one half of the Fiction Podcast Production team Passer Vulpes Productions. We're the creators of a number of fiction podcasts, including Love and Luck and Supernatural Sexuality with Dr. Seabrooke. I also have a reasonable resume of small VA roles with a lot of different podcast production teams, I have a history of theorycrafting around podcast production, and I'm currently engaged in some part-time independent research around fiction podcast production that, if people are interested, I might actually get around to finishing one day. Myself and my partner Erin were the founders of AusFicPodMakers, which was/is an informal group supporting audio fiction producers in Australia, and as part of that support, I currently curate a list of Australian Fiction Podcasts (which I encourage you to take a look at!). In terms of affiliations, PVP is not associated with any podcasting network (though a few have knocked on our door), and I'm not currently producing audio fiction right now - I have no projects on the boil, so to speak.

So, I think I can say, with some evidence, that I'm a part of the audio fiction production scene, that I care about audio fiction in general, that I might have some thoughts worth listening to about it, and that I'm a mostly disinterested party regarding this - I have no particular stake in Rusty Quill's fortunes one way or the other.

Tag Responses

Okay, so I wanted to quickly respond to a few of the tag comments that have popped up in response to yesterday's post, mainly because I feel like it's worth expanding on some of them:

#i also feel bad because i was always kinda wary on tma2#now it feels even more like a cash grab

Look - as a podcast producer, I can respect a cash grab. If you can grab that cash, I'm a strong believer in doing so, because making audio fiction without cash is kinda sucky. It's like any other big endeavour - when you get nothing out of it, it eats away at you. That's part of the reason why PVP isn't producing at the moment - We tried to scale up to multiple productions and it damn near killed us. We weren't really getting the income we needed to do more than just barely break even - we, as producers, weren't making a dime off of our podcasts, even with Patreon and crowdfunding. Rusty Quill is actually an extreme outlier regarding their ability to get cash from their audiences. How extreme? Well, before the TMA2 kickstarter, the most successful Audio Fiction crowdfunding campaign was Unseen, from the producers of Wolf 359, one of the seminal audio fiction shows of the modern audio fiction renaissance, and it hit a little over US$40,000. Which, just to note, was significantly higher than any other audio fiction crowdfund project before it - very few audio fiction crowdfund campaigns get more than around US$5,000-10,000.

So, sure, it's a cash grab. It might still be good anyway though! Don't disregard it just because they're making financially-dominated decisions.

#Adding onto this while the evidence isn't conclusive (because as many people have said it is conjecture and opinions and stuff)#and also the author's credibility is...in question

So, first things first, Newt Schottelkotte is an extremely credible journalist in the Audio Fiction space - they've broken a number of big stories, and written a lot in support of the audio fiction production scene. Wil Williams, who helped edit the piece, is also a highly respected critic and journalist within the space, while Tal Minear is a very prolific audio fiction producer of good repute. Personally, I have absolutely no concerns about their integrity or credibility - they've all done incredible work.

But it is worth noting that Audio fiction is kinda odd, in that journalists, critics and producers all pretty much come from the same group of people. The honest fact is that Audio Fiction, as a beat, has pretty much no prestige, there are (currently) no publications that are dedicated to audio fiction coverage, and the whole sector is mostly considered an afterthought to the real podcast industry. So, the few people who do create audio fiction meta-content, even if they begin as separated from the industry, don't stay separated for long - they will start making contacts with producers, they may start finding people offering cameo roles in shows, and eventually, they'll consider moving into podcast production. If your requirement for a "credible" voice within audio fiction journalism is one that has absolutely no connections with any actual production, I'm sorry but that ain't happening - the scene is too small, and people move between production and commentary so often, that "true independence" isn't a thing.

With that said, these journalists do a lot to make their affiliations visible up front, which is the other way to manage conflicts of interest within the scene - by declaring them. I'd be a lot more suspicious of a journalist that doesn't put their affiliations up front, honestly.

The Rusty Quill Response

So, I wrote yesterday that I wasn't expecting a response from Rusty Quill for a good three days - they are a group, it takes time to coordinate a response, I figured I could relax for a bit. However, Rusty Quill has already produced a response, and that alone says something - it says that a single person has dictated this response. Considering the record speed, I also doubt that it has been looked over by anyone else. Knowing these things, I find it very likely that this is Alex Newall's response specifically, speaking for Rusty Quill, rather than one that that the leadership at Rusty Quill has worked on together.

I'm not going to go through the whole thing point by point - I don't have the time, and this post is already too long for most Tumblrites to consider going through it. But on a more general level, I find it interesting that the response contains not a single link, not a single pointer towards contrary evidence. Almost certainly this is due to the timeframe - were I in RQ's position, I would be going through our paperwork to find some boilerplate contracts to provide some counter-evidence to the article, or providing some financial details to show where the money is going, but finding, redacting, and publishing these things takes time. RQ has done none of this, and this isn't necessarily a point against them, but it does mean that Rusty Quill hasn't done much more than shout "Am not!" into the audience.

To talk about one specific point, I also find it interesting that, having been attacked on the subject of crew pay rates, they talk about how their cast have very good pay rates. This might be true, I don't have the resources to fact check that, and I hope it is - actors do deserve pay. But it is worth noting that actors are on a production for very little of the time - it's the editors, sound designers, musicians, transcribers, etc who put the most time on to a production. In general, you'd expect that the crew would be getting more money than the cast, because the crew is going to be putting in more time (although, fair's fair, the vast majority of audio fiction out there doesn't do this, because the only "crew" is the producer, who is usually financing the production out of their own pocket).

Questions?

So, I figure that if I'm putting myself out there, I might as well offer the opportunity for people to pick my brain. Have a question about Audio fiction production? Want to hear my explicit comments about something someone has said? My asks are open, I'll do my best to come back and answer any asks that come my way.

[louisisalarrie]

heyy, what relationship do you think louis has with F? I know you don't believe that's his son, but personally I have many doubts on the whole thing and one of the main reasons is that i think he genuinely cares about him. I mean the way he talks about him and everything, and i dont mean interviews only, for example that time after a show when he met a little fan and he asked them how old they were and then he said something like "my little F is 7", he just said that bc he wanted to, so why would he do if he doesn't care about him? and I'm not saying that proofs that's his son, I'm just asking bc most larries that I see they claim that lou doesn't give a fuck about F, but I think he really does

hello lovely! if you are having doubts and want more info, check out this tags page that has a heap of bbg content from over the years that may help you make your mind up. and thank you for being respectful of what I believe even if you’re not sure 100% where you stand on it. so thank you and great to have you here!

I’ve touched on something similar to this before, in which, we know how much louis loves kids. him and his little sisters and bro, young fans, his sisters’ kids etc. like every situation we see him with a kid in, he lights up. same with Harry

anyway, I think bbg got out of hand and when it became far more long term and he had to be pictured with this child, he probably felt very frustrated and shitty that it got this far. He probably feels bad for the kid that his family got him involved in this, and now this kid won’t ever have a normal life. and so, he’s hung out with this kid every once in a while, watching him grow up, and I can imagine he probably does care about him a lot. He’s a very caring guy in general, and so under the circumstances, he’s trying to make this work the best he can.

He’s not gonna sit there and be like “gross kid get tf away from me” lol, but he’s balancing this distance of not being too close to become such a permanent fixture in his life, and not hurting this kid’s feelings. Again, it’s hard to know what F believes as he’s only like 8 or so, so I’m not sure how much they’ve divulged with him, but I’m pretty positive he’d know louis isn’t his dad by now tbh. but louis probably just feels shitty and wants to at least have the kid spend time having fun with him, rather than miserable for a life he didn’t choose.

Re your comment about him talking about F to the fans… in my opinion, bbg is now at the level of pretty much a strictly fan service stunt, and has been for a while now. we get the little gap filler articles from bored journalists like “all about louis tomlinson’s son!” etc. every once in a while, but otherwise it’s not really gaining him much publicity these days. he’ll mention him when he does those random Twitter chats, interviews here and there, and we get our annual Christmas photo (nothing for Father’s Day this year tho cough cough), but the GP don’t… care about it. But we as fans who follow his sisters’ accounts and are more invested, bbg is brought up for us. So because it’s not shoved in our faces from the press all the time, it’s easier to keep going with it by doing a mention about it here and there.

they still have this stunt as a bombshell to drop when necessary, though. Louis could gain some mad publicity with the end of it and still come out looking good, so it’s kinda just there until they find a suitable time for it to drop, which I have a feeling will be soon since it is so fan focused now.

lining up the end of stunts with releases/other big press news etc. is also quite tricky. this one has to be delicate because it’s got a kid involved, too.

[shwoo]

I don't think this information is online anywhere, so here's each Bugsnax character's sidequest activation requirements, chat lines and requirements for each one, and schedule. Note that the character's interview needs to be done before they'll start offering sidequests, and they won't offer the next sidequest in the chain until the previous one has been completed.

I want to put this into a Gamefaqs type guide I'm walking on, but I want to do a lot of things so who knows when that'll get done. Putting it here so it least it'll be somewhere!

My source is datamining. Lizbert and Eggabell's shedule data isn't actually used, but I included it anyway.

Beffica

Sidequest 1 Requirements: Wiggle returned Sidequest 2 Requirements: Cromdo returned Sidequest 3 Requirements: Chandlo returned

Chat 1: (Before she returns to town)That Wambus guy is married, but his wife totally wouldn't come farm with him. So tragic. Chat 2: (After she returns to town, before the first welcome back party) Filbo doesn't even like Bugsnax, he just eats them cuz that's what everybody else does. Chat 3: (After the first welcome back party, before Ghost Stories) Bugsnax are totes delish. 10/10 would eat again. I could just sit here eating Bugsnax all day. So I do. Chat 4: (After Ghost Stories, before The Intruder) Gramble's so touchy cuz he never sleeps. Seriously, he just walks around at night like a creepy zombie. Chat 5: (After The Intruder) That monster Grumpus thing is still on the loose. Be careful out there, Bestie.

Morning (4am to 8am) -Wakes up -Stands near the centre of town

Day (8am to 4pm) -Takes pictures in Filbo's hut -If Floofty is back, takes pictures in Floofty's hut from 12pm on. Otherwise stays in Filbo's hut

Evening (4pm - 8pm) -Takes pictures in Lizbert and Eggabell's hut

Night (8pm - 4am) -Goes to bed

Outhouse: 12:02pm

-

The rest below! --v

Chandlo

Sidequest 1 Requirements: (none) Sidequest 2 Requirements: (none) Sidequest 3 Requirements: The Intruder complete

Chat 1: (Before he returns to town) Snorpy's my tightest bro, ya feel me? We've been together since before this whole adventure thing. Chat 2: (After he returns to town, before The Intruder) Filbo did a pretty good job keeping this place in good shape. Gotta give the little guy props! He could use a boost to his self-esteem… Chat 3: (After The Intruder, before Shelda returns) Beffica's smart, Bro, smarter than she lets on. She gets people, and that throws 'em off their game. I kinda like that about her. Chat 4: (After Shelda returns) What makes Shelda so wise? I don't pretend to understand it, Bro, but Shelda can see the future…

Morning (4am to 9am) -Wakes up -Jogs around the village on a loop

Day (8am to 4:50pm) -Stands out the front of the sawmill, near the logs, for 30 seconds, then moves near the Journalist's hut -Does pushups for 30 seconds, then returns to standing near the sawmill

Evening (4:50pm - 9:01pm) -Stands by the campfire

Night (9:01pm - 4am) -Goes to bed

Outhouse: 3pm

-

Cromdo

Sidequest 1 Requirements: (none) (Though it can't actually be completed until after The Intruder) Sidequest 2 Requirements: (none) Sidequest 3 Requirements: Shelda's first main quest, to give her cheese sauce, completed.

Chat 1: (Before he returns to town) Bugsnax are the cherry on this Grump sundae. If I can make it back with a pack fulla these babies, I'll be a bona-fide celebrity! Chat 2: (After he returns to town, before The Intruder) Friend, I haven't got a bad word to say about anybody here! *mumbling* Buncha Snak-suckin' ingrates. Chat 3: (After The Intruder) Listen up, Pal, I got a nose for phonies. Beffica? Wiggle? Feh! And don't even get me started on Shelda! She makes ME look like an honest Grumpus.

Morning (6am to 10am) -Wakes up -Mans Cromdo Mart stand

Day (10am to 5pm) -Continues to man Cromdo Mart stand

Evening (5pm - 8:40pm) -Stands near the boat and the boombox

Night (8:40pm - 6am) -Goes to bed

Outhouse: 10:50am

-

Eggabell

Chat 1: (no requirements) I need some time to think.

Morning (4am)

Outhouse: 5:30pm

-

Filbo

Chat 1: (After he returns to town, before the first welcome back party) Just you watch, Buddy, soon Snaxburg will be good as new! I'm still repainting all the huts but it's taking a while cuz I don't have a lotta paint and the last batch made me pretty dizzy… Chat 2: (After the first welcome back party, before Ghost Stories) I wish I could be like Lizbert… She always knew what to do, what to say. When she made a plan, I knew I could just follow it and I'd be okay… …but now it's just up to me. Chat 3: (After Ghost Stories, before The Intruder) Every time I go home, all my stuff is moved around, and there are new paw prints on the floor. I'm starting to think… …maybe ghosts ARE real! Chat 4: (After The Intruder) Don't worry, Buddy! Soon everybody will be back in town and all our troubles will be over. A-and then I'll be able to throw a REAL welcome back party!

Morning (4am to 8am) -Wakes up -Moves to the campfire -Lights the campfire, which goes out at at 7:50am -Sits by the campfire

Day (8am to 5pm) -Walks in a loop around the village, greeting anyone he gets close to. He stops walking for three seconds while greeting Wambus, Chandlo, Cromdo, and Triffany, and while greeting Wambus, he also waves.

Evening (5pm - 9:01pm) -Moves to the campfire -Lights the campfire, which goes out at 8:40pm -Sits by the campfire.

Night (9:01pm - 4am) -Goes to bed

Outhouse: 8:20pm

-

Floofty

Sidequest 1 Requirements: (none) Sidequest 2 Requirements: (none) Sidequest 3 Requirements: (none)

Chat 1: (Before they return to town) I have a hypothesis that the substance leaking out of the volcano is not lava, but rather a superheated fondue. Unfortunately, my studies had to be put on hold when my sampling equipment melted. Chat 2: (After they return to town) If you see Triffany, ask her what the osteoblast said to the osteocyte. It's hilarious!

Morning (4am to 12pm) -Gets up -Goes to the research tent and stands near their lab

Day (12pm to 4pm) -Continues to stand in the research tent

Evening (4pm - 7pm) -Stands behind the research tent

Night (7pm - 4am) -Goes to bed -Gets up at 10pm, goes to the campfire, and looks in the direction of the barn -Watches Gramble once he starts sleepwalking at midnight -Goes back to bed at 3:20am, or once the player leaves the area

Outhouse: 5:30pm

-

Gramble

Sidequest 1 Requirements: (none) Sidequest 2 Requirements: Ghost Stories completed Sidequest 3 Requirements: The Intruder completed

Chat 1: (Before he returns to town) Have you talked to Wiggle yet? She’s real nice. Though, she can come off a bit *ahem* strong. Chat 2: (After he returns to town, before the first welcome back party) I've been tryin' to breed Bugsnax together. It's been real tricky cuz they don't have any, uhm, obvious bits to 'em. Chat 3: (After the first welcome back party, before Ghost Stories) Oh, that ol' coot Wambus. He thinks Bugsnax grow if you plant 'em in dirt. How's that make any sense? Chat 4: (After Ghost Stories, before The Intruder) Sometimes I wake up at night, and I see somethin’ out there. Like, a shadow watchin’ me from the tree line. I try callin’ out to it, but it disappears before I get a good look at it. Chat 5: (After The Intruder) You ever noticed how the real big Bugsnax break up into little ones? I been wondering why that is. Do the little ones stick together to make big ones? C-can I teach them to do that?

Morning (6am to 9am) -Wakes up -Unlocks the barn if it's locked -Stands near the entrance to the beach, with Wiggle if she's back.

Day (9am to 3pm) -Walks back and forth between Bugsnak pen and the bottom floor of the barn

Evening (3pm - 8pm) -Stands near the entrance to the beach. Wiggle joins him starting 4pm if she's back.

Night (8pm - 4am) -Locks the barn -Goes to bed -Starts sleepwalking at 11:50pm -Unlocks barn doors in sleep -Sleepwalks around the village. Can be woken up, and will stay in bed until the player leaves the area and returns. -Stops sleepwalking at 4am. If the player is in town at the time, he will wake up and just stand there, but if they enter the area between 4 and 6, he will be back in bed, with the barn doors locked.

Outhouse: 2:10pm

-

Lizbert

Morning (4am to 12pm)

Day (12pm to 4pm)

Evening (4pm - 7pm)

Night (7pm - 4am)

Outhouse: 5:30pm

.

Shelda

Sidequest 1 Requirements: (none) Sidequest 2 Requirements: One day after completing the previous sidequest Sidequest 3 Requirements: One day after completing the previous sidequest

Chat 1: (Before she returns to town) Bugsnax are not of the Mother. Not of this island…usurpers. Chat 2: (After she returns to town) Him that is called Chandlo teeters on the path, and yours is the wind that topples.

Morning (4am to 12pm) -Wakes up -Meditates in front of her hut

Day (12pm to 5:10pm) -Continues to meditate

Evening (5:10pm - 8:40pm) -Sits in front of the campfire, unless the first sidequest is available, but hasn't been activated. In that case, she stays where she is, and just looks in the direction of the campfire.

Night (8:40pm - 4am) -Goes to bed

Outhouse: 4:40pm

-

Snorpy

Sidequest 1 Requirements: The Intruder completed Sidequest 2 Requirements: (none) Sidequest 3 Requirements: Eggabell's main quests completed

Chat 1: (Before he returns to town) I've known Chandlo for ages. He does what he says and says what he thinks. In this mad, mad world he is uncomplicated, reliable, and…surprisingly gentle. Chat 2: (After he returns to town, but before his interview, and before The Intruder) The outdoors are dangerous, unpredictable, and smelly. Get me enough material, and I'll make us a roof over this entire island Chat 3: (After his interview, before The Intruder) Of all the unknowns in this world, one plagues me more than any other. How does Chandlo truly feel about me? Does he want us to be something…more? Chat 4: (After The Intruder, before Floofty returns to town) Bugsnax look like living creatures but they act more like tiny little machines. Tiny, little, delicious machines built explicitly to appeal to a mass audience. Chat 5: (After Floofty returns to town) Rest assured, Chum, I have my eye on Floofty.

Morning (8am to 12pm) -Wakes up -Stands in front of the forge downstairs

Day (12pm to 5pm) -Stands in front of the mill, near Gramble's yard

Evening (5pm - 8pm) -Goes inside and stands in front of the forge again

Night (8pm - 8am) -Goes to bed

Outhouse: 3:50pm

-

Triffany

Sidequest 1 Requirements: Chandlo's first quest, to put his balls in the basket, completed Sidequest 2 Requirements: Floofty's first Boiling Bay quest, to change their arm into a Red Banopper, completed Sidequest 3 Requirements: Eggabell's main quests completed

Chat 1: (Before she returns to town) You haven't run into Wambus, have ya? I swear that man has a head harder than granite. Chat 2: (After she returns to town, before Ghost Stories) I gotta admit, it's nice havin' Wamby around again. We'll just have to wait and see if he's really learned his lesson. Chat 3: (After Ghost Stories, before Cromdo returns to town) Ya know, we're the fifth major group to settle here. Looks like Grumpuses have been re-discoverin' Bugsnax for millennia. Chat 4: (After Cromdo returns to town, before The Intruder) I try to be nice to everybody, but sometimes that Cromdo just rattles my bones! I swear he'd sell off his own gramma if that'd make him a few bucks. Chat 5: (After The Intruder) Ya know, I've never seen any sorta cryptid mentioned in the ancient Grumps' writing. Means we're dealing with something new… isn't that kinda exciting?

Morning (6am to 9am) -Wakes up -Stands near the waterfall, past the barn and the mill.

Day (9am to 4pm) -Stands in the research tent, inspecting her desk.

Evening (4pm - 9:01pm) -Stands near the waterfall again.

Night (8pm - 4am) -Goes to bed

Outhouse: 10am

-

Wambus

Sidequest 1 Requirements: (none) Sidequest 2 Requirements: Ghost Stories completed Sidequest 3 Requirements: The Intruder completed

Chat 1: (Before he returns to town) Man…I'd hate Bugsnax if they weren't so darn delicious Chat 2: (After he returns to town, before the first welcome back party) City folk just don't get it. Chat 3: (After the first welcome back party, before Triffany returns to town) I only came out here for Triffany… but sometimes I wonder if she'd do the same for me. Chat 4: (After Triffany returns to town, before Ghost Stories) Stranger, I won't mince words. Thanks for bringin' Triffy home. Chat 5: (After Ghost Stories, before The Intruder) Y'know, I been callin' you Stranger, but you been around a while. Need a new name… Sorry, I'm not creative…Stranger. Chat 6: (After The Intruder) Island's lookin' mighty dangerous lately. I'm startin' to think I should build a taller fence.

Morning (4am to 12pm) -Wakes up -Hoes his garden

Day (12pm to 5pm) -Continues to hoe his garden

Evening (5pm - 9:01pm) -Sits by the campfire

Night (9:01pm - 4am) -Returns to his hut -If Triffany isn't back yet and Beffica is, he will stay up, and talk to the cactus when the player approaches. This event will be available for the player to see until 2am. (Needs a little more testing, but I think this is how it works) -Goes to bed

Outhouse: 9:10am

-

Wiggle

Sidequest 1 Requirements: (none) Sidequest 2 Requirements: Ghost Stories completed Sidequest 3 Requirements: Floofty's first Boiling Bay, to turn their arm into a Red Banopper, completed

Chat 1: (Before she returns to town) Ah, Gramble. Such soulful eyes! Such a caring heart! Such a collection of Snax… Chat 2: (After she returns to town, before Ghost Stories) You have no idea how hard it is for me to write these songs. My lyrical genius is driven by my muse. An adorable muse with skittering legs and a juicy center. Chat 3: (After Ghost Stories, before The Intruder) Hold on, Darling, tell me what you think of this - THE QUEEN OF BUGSNAX! SHE'S REALLY BIG, SHE'S REALLY BIG AND SHE'LL EAT YOU! Chat 4: (After The Intruder) Shelda is delightful, Darling! The way she speaks is captivating, even if I haven't the faintest idea what she's saying.

Morning (4am to 9am) -Wakes up -Stands near the entrance to the beach, playing the banjo. At 6am, Gramble gets out of bed and joins her.

Day (9am to 4pm) -Walks around the village playing the banjo

Evening (4pm - 9:30pm) -Joins Gramble back near the entrance to the beach, still playing the banjo.

Night (9:30pm - 4am) -Goes to bed

Outhouse: 1:20pm

[ihateapbiology]

The Bolter

part 3

Yeah kinda inspired by the Taylor swift song but part 4 to enemies to lovers WARNING- not really smut but making out

It was fabulous. You had to often force yourself to pause and appreciate that you were dating Julien freaking Baker, the sweetest, most interesting person you had ever met. After that initial date you and her continued to go out. On the third date she kissed you, tasting like coffee and chapstick. As you held hands walking back from a dinner date you felt so blissful. You were at your best in relationships when there wasn’t a label, when you felt like you still had some control and weren’t going to fall hopelessly into love and then get hurt bad. You had nearly forgotten about all your usual reservations with Julien…nearly. Julien opened up your door for you and smiled “m’lady.”

You laughed and faked a curtsy. Julien went to give you a goodnight kiss but you paused “do you want to spend the night.” It was impossible to not think about how damn good she looked in the short sleeves that hugged her taut muscles.

She brightens “really! I mean I don’t want to intrude but I’d love to.”

You laugh “I suggested it it’s not intruding come in.”

You briefly remind her of the layout of your apartment, the bathroom, kitchen etc etc she had been in before but never spent the night. In fact you couldn’t remember the last time someone had spent the night in your apartment who you actually cared about besides physical. She goes up to grab some water for the both of you, it being a steamy July night. You gently hug her from behind leaving soft kisses on the side of her neck, grazing her ear with your teeth.

“Mmm baby be careful” she laughs forgetting all about the water.

You give her a suggestive look and start to pull her to your bedroom. The second she sees that you’re in the mood, she lets herself go as well. She backs you up to your bedroom wall and her hand makes it down to your butt giving it a little squeeze. You smile and gasp slightly into her lips. Your hand finds its way into her hair slightly pulling, not hard enough to hurt though.

You pull away for a second to catch your breath and look at her. She seemed so deep in thought, not like the Julien who was just leaving hickeys on your collar bone two seconds ago. “What’s wrong?” You ask concerned.

“Nothings wrong” she smiled “absolutely nothing.”

“Then why are you so deep in thought.” You pry.

She takes a breath “well ok I’m not the type to you know get super physically intimate without being with that person. And so well I thought I’d take this opportunity to ask something I’ve been wanting to ask. I’ve deeply enjoyed our time together despite the rocky start that was all my fault. You’re funny, an amazing person, an amazing journalist with the best stories and you just get me.”

Your heart picks up in excitement yes. You really liked this girl, no matter how hard your mind tried to fight it, you wanted her in your life. But also nerves. What if this was all some ploy, she really hated you so much that she wanted to get you and break your heart. You knew the next words out of her mouth.

“So will you be my girlfriend.” She shyly asks.

The anxiety rushed into your mind first. Nearly filling it to the brim but the earlier thought you had pushed through. You want this person in your life. That’s all that mattered. If she was playing you for a fool that was on her. But as you had gotten to know her you really doubted she’d have a malicious bone in your body. So you beam “yes I would love to be.” You’re swooped into a hug and kisses all over your face and all you can do is giggle like a teenager in love.

“thank you for your kind words Julien I don’t open my heart up to a lot of people but you’re amazing and I’m really happy you really like me too.” You shyly say, your mind screaming at you for even slightly talking about your feelings.

You spend the rest of the night chatting happily. You felt happy and blissful. You felt like you finally knew you deserved to open up to someone. You guys fell asleep in each other’s arms.

It was 2 AM why tf were you awake. You thought confused. You smiled at the sleeping girl next to you and looked for the source of the thing that awoke you. You saw Juliens phone lighting up like crazy. You grabbed it just to power it down assuming it was nothing. But you couldn’t help but slightly look. It was an instagram DM, a girl named Maria. “Julien please I need you so bad baby” “I miss you” “I love you” “Come back over please when you get this.” “you looked so hot yesterday.”

Your mind didn’t even think about thinking logically. You had looked for a reason to bolt and you didn’t need to look far. You mused to yourself “8 hours fastest relationship I’ve ever had and that’s saying something.” You let her sleep the rest of the night but at 6 you shook her awake.

“Morning honey.” She grinned with a sleepy smile.

“Aw morning baby wake up you don’t wanna be late for Maria” you snapped.

“Wh-???” She said confused immediately awake.

“Don’t even, get the fuck out” you said. You yourself even left your apartment with that. Hurt. Confused. Embarrassed and you hated yourself for it. Heartbroken.

[ohshy]

Feelin kinda down so fuck it- how about some burnt bread hcs if you got any?

If not, how about disco kid?

~ fan-mans

hope u feel better soon bro ! also HELL YEAH BURNT BREAD !!!!!!!! one of my favorites :3

so where does it all begin? well.... (under the cut bc its Long)

aran didnt actually have to use any of dirty tricks to take joe down, so they didn't start off on that bad of a foot, or a bad foot at all. (fighting is par for the course for this sport, of course.)

that being said though, you still see n hear things ab eachother, and have assumptions as a result. Aran initally sees joe as a snobby, wimpy man, and joe aran as a scary, unpredictable brute.

eventually, however, aran starts looking at joe... a little differently. he pranks him a lot because yknow. its funny. but joe doesnt seem to mind it at all... in fact, he takes his pranks really well, and it makes aran see strong joe is in a way and how much of a sense of humor he has.

joe at the other hand, noticed that aran, outside the ring, was actually fairly tame, outside of his pranks of course. it helped a lot with mellowing his perception of him. combine this joe's many hobbies and aran's try-everything attitude, and youve got the start of a click !

news of their little budding relationship spreads around the minor- and world circuit, and kaiser begins to take notice ab how joe talks ab aran, how hed normally b horrified at the prospect of him being anywhere NEAR him.

so one day, in all his eternal german grace, he says...

''well if you love him so much, why don't you two kiss, hm?''

and joe hadnt gotten that thought out of his head since.

as for disco kid hcs, ive already told most of them so ill talk ab how the minor circuit reacted to joe wanting to confess to aran instead !!

disco, albeit kinda scared of aran, is ecstatic for joe, wishes him luck and wants to know EVERYTHING about how it went afterward

i imagine hippo would be pretty whatever about it. guy isnt too concerned ab peoples love lifes. wishes him luck like disco tho.

meanwhile kaiser? ''Eh, it is your funeral''

I imagine the world circuit wouldn't be as close with eachother seeing as how theyre busier n likely more hounded by journalists, but they do know in broad terms what goes on in the lives of eachother.

so macho catches wind of aran's crush, and he basically shittalks joe to arans face

''I know everyone's standards are too high for you, but joe's just a sad bar, even for you.''

Aran, not even reacting to the dig against him, starts ranting to macho about how joe is admirable as all hell for getting back up after 99 losses, and how that must mean he has a real love and respect for the sport. He even boldly exclaims that joe arguably works harder than macho, the victories who seems to come so easily to him.

macho eventually leaves, deciding aran's not worth his precious time.

aran then turns around, and OMG HE SEES JOE STANDING THERE !!!!!

anyway he heard all about what aran said (thats right, overhearing ooc conversations and miscommunication happening is OUT, overhearing conversations and gaining respect for someone is IN), and confesses right there and then. aran, hearing prolly the most romantic speech thats ever been directed to him in his entire life, is at a loss for words. He can't say anything other than ''of course, joey.''

and thats the start of their relationship :3

as for other misc hcs that dont fit anywhere else...

one time, when cleaning out aran's jacket pockets (joe's a bit of a neat freak), he found... a bunch of lint. But also !! he found a ton of crumpled up notes. They included phrases for the ring, comedic poems... but they also had affirmations for himself, about his family, but also about joe. joe, sans the lint, left the pockets as is. ever since then though, he's felt closer to him than ever.

joe will often try to pick up aran like a princess. considering hes still decently muscled, he can do it succesfully.

joe loves baking, especially bread, but aran will ALWAYS manage to set something on fire. think spencer from icarly.

they infodump to eachother ab their respective countries histories and folk tales, joe esp ab the former n aran ab the latter.

one time, joe and aran set out for a night walk. then, they (or rather aran) thought he heard a banshee screech. what they actually heard prolly was a car tire screeching in the distance. aran, however, was never the less scared SHITLESS and ran tf home, screaming highpitched. He had to be comforted by joe all night after they got home.

aran loves going to theme parks. he loves the rush. joe, however, hates the tall rides like the rollercoasters, n prefers the calmer rides like the teacups. They have a ''goes onto the rollercoaster alone'' x ''holds the persons stuff while theyre gone'' dynamic.

they rly like singing duets together, especially after a couple drinks. wine in joe's case and beer in arans case. theyve sang at macho's parties before as well, and needless to say they make for great entertainment.

aran often sends joe cursed memes n selfies that joe just Does Not understand

''aran, i will Not hold feet with you, zat's disgusting''

''come on joey..... do ye love me or not......''

[findafight]

Idk if you’re the person to send this to but like

The whole thing with Murray’s comments and Nancy and Jon getting together…. It is set up in such a way that it can be read as a situation where an ambitious teenage girl was pressured into what she was “supposed” to be. Nancy was told by a man that she respected and who took her seriously (and was the ONLY one to do so, so Murray gained an untold amount of trust from Nancy immediately, and the show just brushing off their relationship is such a loss but ok), that in order to be her real self she must dump Steve. Now Murray was just poking at two teenagers with a metaphorical stick to see what would they do. Understandable position, as a younger sister haver love doing that also (not with romantic feelings though but Murray was never meant to be ethical). I doubt that what the comment meant for him can be easily translated into what it meant for Nancy (let alone Jon, who thinks that he is better than most people and that he is definitely better than Steve, so I imagine he was nodding along). But he did influence her into becoming an investigative journalist. Like Murray with him taking Nancy seriously influenced her into two major life altering decisions (career and significant other). Like wow. And they never interacted again! Fucking hate st continuity.

Like Nancy dumping Steve because Murray told her to do so is a major thing. It’s BAD for jancy. Before s4 I thought that they were not mentioning it because jancy happened and was the endgame. But with them toying with stancy and likely knowing that they might toy with stancy all along??? Why did they not leave it open to interpretation. It’s such a juicy storyline, it shows the magnitude of the influence that you can have on a teenage girl, it’s beautiful, it’s painful, it’s the stuff of a real love-triangle (which is hard to make interesting but that would make it interesting!!!). Why did they write it then??? Whyyyyyy?????

oooooh that's so interesting anon!

I am much more of a murray fan when he is being a weird gay conspiracy uncle guy and isn't matchmaking, it must be said.

He and Nancy have the potential for a really interesting dynamic! It really is a shame we don't get to see more of it tbh. and you are so right in what his comment meaning to him and what it meant to Nancy and Jon separately would be so different! I don't know if Nancy would necessarily feel pressured by it, (though I wouldn't say she wasn't, either) but maybe it would vindicate something of how she was feeling about her relationship with Steve at the time and her feelings for Jonathan? Like a "oh this man I respect and who takes me seriously also thinks Jonathan is better for me, thinks I should go for it. Maybe I will..." kind of thing?

And lol yeah so true Jon just had his own conception of himself and Steve and their relationships with Nancy confirmed by Murray. he just kinda got...permission? I guess? to make a move on Nancy even though he was the one bringing up Steve both times he's mentioned on the road trip.

Totally see where you're coming from of Murray's influence not being mentioned because you figured Jancy was endgame, makes sense (if boring) to not question it if it doesn't need to be addressed as an issue because the pairing is canon for the rest. But now the teen love triangle has been brought back.... you're so right it is bad for Jancy. It brings up stuff about them that a lot of people (especially the Duffers!) don't want to deal with or acknowledge. Though I don't think they were planning the whole time to bring stancy back I think that sort of happened because the duffers unfortunately don't know what to do with Nacy if she doesn't have a boy to look at and Steve when he isn't pining over Nancy.

There's not enough time left to fully and satisfyingly delve into the issues between the original older teens, especially since some of those issues aren't treated as issues. It would be interesting to see, and also so so juicy, the complicated relationship they have with each other because of the UD etc, but I don't think a whole lot of interesting canon material will come from it (though that doesn't mean fan content can't!!) just based on how other romantic relationships and their dynamics with each other have been treated through the show. tbh I think maybe s5 will tease the love triangle but ultimately either end up with them all single (my preference) or with Jancy still together.

[snakxreader]

in a scenario where Eggabell went back to town, could I request something with the reader getting a lil hurt ( nothing too serious ) and having to visit Eggabell who’s just like “you’ve gotta stop being so wreckless”?

A/N: I actually did this with one of my ocs a bit back. Never publicly posted it though, but this was nice to revisit! Hope you don’t mind a pinch of angst though ^^’

Eggabell and Reader (Reckless)

“You are the reason I wish I brought acholol on this expedition.”

“Damn??? Brutal, Eggabell.” You gasp dramatically, swooning with your free arm. This ends quickly when the sting from the peroxide stings the cuts on your other arm, making you hiss. Eggabell scoffed.

“It’s not even that bad.” She dismissed, and you resisted the urge to state that doctors were supposed to care about patients' health, and not brush off their pain. But also you didn’t want to get kicked out of the medical tent.

“How did you even manage this?” She asks. You shrug. What had happened was nothing more than a bad run-in with a Spuddy on a cliff, sending you tumbling off and rolling down. Thankfully, Triffany was there to find you and even more thankfully, Eggabell had returned from her apparent escapade to find a sign of Lizbert. Which thank Grump. Not for you, but the Journalist who had kinda taken Lizbert’s place, who got hurt daily.

“Bad luck.” Is the response you settle on. Eggabell groans.

“You have got to stop being so reckless, you know that?!” The doctor retorts, having moved onto bandaging cuts on your thighs. “You could of avoided that entire mess had you been more careful.”

You clicked your teeth. You never did like doctors that much. “Doc, with all due respect, I’m fine. It’s just a stupid few cuts from a stupid fall.”

“It wasn’t stupid! Do you know how easy it is to perish from that height?!”

“But I didn’t, so you can take your opinions and shove up your-”

Eggabell slammed the table, growling slightly. “Would you just listen?! Heights are nothing to play with! What if one of your bones broke, I wouldn’t even know if we had away to fix that properly. O-or if you had straight gotten buried in the snow? We wouldn’t have found you for ages!”

“Eggabell-“ You sputtered, surprised at her outburst. But she didn’t even let you finish.

“What if there was someone with you? W-what if you were messing around in the mountain a-and it led to someone’s death! And no matter how hard you try, you can’t find even a trace of them! What if their death was all your fault!”

Silence washes over the tent as Eggabell pants, lungs more strained than her voice towards the end. You must look as shocked and afraid as you feel because she blinks with a startled clarity and wipes her tears.

You get the feeling she wasn’t talking about yourself in that speech.

The rest of your procedure goes on without word, quickly and quietly. When Eggabell finishes, she clears her throat. “You, uh, look alright. Good to go.”

“Right.” You hop off of the cot. “Uh, thanks. I…I promise I’ll stay safe, alright?”

Eggabell nods. But as you leave her tent, you wonder just what happened at the top of that mountain that changed her that much.

[disabledstraydogs]

OMG BSD SAW AU....pls infodump if u wish. Sawtism twinsies

(Shakes your paw) Sawtism.....

The details of the AU are as follows

TW for typical saw things ie gore (although we haven't described anything), death, and some weird dynamic relationship stuff between Dazai and Chuuya (by this I mean they have complex feelings and have tried to kill each other miltiple times)

Natsume is the OG Jigsaw... Kinda? He had the idea while killing someone and was like 'wouldn't it be fucked it this happened on a regular basis' and Mori took that way too seriously

So I guess the OG jigsaw is Mori (everything in this AU is his fault) but he claims that it's Natsume who 'inspired him on the divine path of righteousness' (he's a shitty jigsaw though and claims to have morals but like. Doesn't. As in he punishes Chuuya for setting up the bathroom incorrectly but also does inescapeable saw traps for people he really doesn't like).

Mori's first victim was possibly Tachihara? I'm unsure about the characer but the trap was successful in killing him so Mori kinda rolled with from there. Next is Chuuya, who is put into the reverse beartrap, survives and becomes an apprentice.

Dazai is next. He's been poking around as a journalist and getting a bit too close to Mori for his liking so he has Chuuya kidnap him and put him in the bathroom trap alongside Fyodor, who's role I'm not too sure of. He's probably killed someone (or a few people) and Mori is all 'killing is distasteful' type of thing.

The trap goes like saw does and in the end Dazai and Fyodor have this scene (which could happen in canon if Asagiri wasn't a fucking coward)

Dazai makes it out, fully intending on saving Fyodor and killing himself in the process. But in the end Fyodor dies on the bathroom floor and he survives, then is recruited by Mori as a jigsaw apprentice.

Dazai accepts (he has no other choice) but doesn't know at first that Chuuya is the one who set up the bathroom trap 'insufficiently' which leads to Fyodor dying (which he heavily blames himself for- Idk if he knows about Fyodor's crimes or even cares about them at this point because like. Killing a few people normally is better than torturing them).

It's only during one of Mori's other games that Dazai finds out Chuuya's role and then sets up a trap for them (although Dazai has feelings for Chuuya but they're very deeply messed up because it's like 'you killed my homoerrotic bathroom buddy but not me. Why? Why do I deserve to live? Why do you deserve to live? I'm good you're bad and need to be punished. You're sick but so am I.' type of thing)

Anyway Dazai kills Mori and becomes the next Jigsaw (Chuuya survives but probably only with one eye and less limbs than before) and because of this Dazai goes onto recrut Akutagawa (who was probably a cop working on the case) and then stuff happens with Atsushi (idk what. Maybe he's Aku's first 'project').

That's where we're at with the AU so far... Thinking of killing a few more BSD characters (specifically Nikolai who's arc probably ties into Fyodor's) but the details are not fully fleshed out yet.... If you have any imput then feel free to lmk.

[slashingdisneypasta]

So I clearly missed some things due to my severe lack of activeness on this hellsite (derogatory) but I'd very much like to know more about Then He Got Rough if you feel comfortable sharing.

If not though, that's totally okay!! Either way, hope you're doing well, my friend 💜🙏🏻

!!!! Thats my Original Work!! I occasionally mention it on here, but I do need to be quite careful about what I say cuz theirs a lotta stuff in it that is meant to be a surprise XD But goddddddddddddddd I love talking about it, so thank you for asking!! ^^

Basically it is a small town murder mystery, but using Slasher Movie Tropes. Its also got a lotta platonic love and other more complicated kinds of relationships because I'm, of course, aro and I need that shit XD Here's a basic blurb I made up for someone else who asked one time ^^

Hallie (the virgin) meets Edward Brown (the killer) and they hit it off- she's exactly the kinda girl he likes; friendly, kinda reserved, and they have... err- certain things from their pasts... in common, it turns out. And to her, Edward's the perfect guy, too! He's a young English teacher at the high school and he's got this skinny Clark Kent thing about him?? Awkward, and funny. She doesn't realise he's a part of the little town's most powerful (and tight-lipped) family, the Bamford's (He was adopted into it- Edward Bamford-Brown), until she tells her best friend and roommate Maggie (the whore) about him. Maggie immediately develops a bad taste in her mouth when it comes to Edward. She goes rogue and decides to investigate, employing Hallie's family doctor, Arthur (the scholar), and his old friend/new roommate combo; anxious ex-con Rodney (the fool), who just so happens to be Edwards adoptive aunt Carla Bamford's ex husband. Doors are opened for Maggie into the world of the Bamford's through Arthur and Rodney, and Winnie Bamford (the athlete) later on, and she uncovers some bone chilling secrets about everyone in this family, and everyone a r o u n d them, too, that make her determined to save her friend before its too late.

**You might also be interested to know that, in my head, Rodney (Who is a very charismatic, but very anxious man who used to do some pretty bad things but feels terrible (he knows his behaviour had everything to do with self-loathing) is really truly trying to clean up his act these days post-divorce; rooming with his old friend Arthur and working at the grocery store as its the only job he could get) is played by a more middle-aged Robert Englund XDD (Closer to Professor Wexler in Urban Legend then Inkubus) . Arthur is played by Brad Dourif XDD (so yes- freddy kruger and chucky XD Of course.)

Some little tid-bits I can/want to share also:

The Bamford Family Line-Up:

Mrs Emily Bamford: The matriarch. A cold-hearted snake woman. She pretty much only loves Edward.

Mayor Richard Bamford: He and Em were highschool sweethearts back in the day but broke up when he left to pursue politics in a big city-- but mysteriously came back and married Emily a few months later despite everyone knowing he was doing so well in the city?? Took the Bamford name and everything. Its rumoured that Emily's parents blackmailed him *cough*. Everyone knows Emily is in charge. Richard always looks kind of like a show pony next to her, despite being actual Mayor.

Carla Bamford: Emily's adopted sister and town journalist. She's kinda lily-livered. The only thing she really stood against the family about was her marriage to Rodney (They didn't approve. He was a damn con), but even that fell apart eventually.

Rodney Hawk (Formally Bamford. They made him take their name but he's got his back, now): I already talked about him XD

Edward Bamford-Brown: THE MAIN VILLAIN. Edward is Emily and Richard's adopted son, the same age as their biological daughter (Winnie. up next) who... well, its no secret- is the favourite. Emily would let him get away with anything. She would help him get away with anything. He can do no wrong, in her eyes.

Winnie Bamford: Emily and Richard's biological daughter. She's an insane freak- they sent her away to boarding school in Georgia but she came back worse, and there are s o many rumours about her in town; Orgies and deviant sexual activity, mostly (most of it is true, too). She has a major thing for 'Uncle Rodney' and makes him very very uncomfortable. On the bright side though?? She's more then happy to fuck things up for her spiteful mother by assisting Maggie to uncover some dark secrets (: She wont make it easy, though 😅 That would be no fun.

Unnamed Bamford Family Member: I cant tell you anything about them, whoops.

And Tom Manning: Richard's best friend, and the town lawyer (Edwards lawyer). So close with Rich and Em (And Winnie and Edward) that he's practically part of the family. I have described him as 'a hot dill pickle in a sharp suit if he was a harvard law graduate'. He's slimy, charismatic and seemingly perfect.

Here are the main characters Looks, if you're interested 😅

(Also another little thing that is really just a convoluted blink-and-you'll-miss-it kind of inside joke- Maggie, who has a huge thing for Arthur and constantly describes his eyes as 'brad dourif-blue', is a major Childs Play fan.

... and hallie loves a nightmare on elm street *cough*. she doesnt really interact with rodney, but during the few times they do, they totally have Something. and when she describes her perfect guy?? its the opposite to edward. its rodney. anyway- )

Anyway, thank you for asking! And reading, if you made it this far XDD Sorry for the word-vomit!! I just really really love this story and I really hope one day I can finish it ^^ <3<3<3<3<3<3

I hope you are doing well too- better then before at least ^^ I hope the time away from Tumblr is doing you well! You're right, it can be a very harmful atmosphere and I'm so proud of you for knowing when you need to take a step back!! 💛💛💛💛💛

[ivycopper]

This was abt Teller at first but escalated into lgbt+ discourse, soz. Hear me out though, bc I feel like this is important?? Kinda???

Honestly getting on my nerves how journalists keep calling Teller by his deadname. Like, that's not his name. You know his name. Use that.

It's worse when ppl do it to trans folks bc then there's dysphoria on top of the disrespect, but it's still not cool to deadname anyone. You don't know their reasons, and they don't owe you an explanation.

Even if the reason is just that they like it that way, nothing more, it's still significant enough for them to change something so integral as their name. It doesn't have to be traumatic to be personal.

Also, you quite honestly don't even know how a person's deadname could interact with their gender identity without that person having to be trans - there's other dynamics within gender identity that might interact with their name, even if the person is on the cis spectrum.

The fact that Teller refuses to tell ppl his former first name should be enough of an indicator for ppl to treat it like a deadname, if they haven't realised it's a weird question in the first place. Like,,, drop the topic, dude. He doesn't need to tell you why he doesn't like it. He doesn't even need to tell you whether he doesn't like it.

Like, we get it, you're a journalist. We know you want to get something out of him that's quirky and interesting. But there's ppl out there who aren't trying to be quirky with their names, and whether Teller is one of them or not, they're just trying to feel like themselves. Most ppl, actually. And if you ask your interviewees intrusive questions abt their names, you're at risk of making someone like that deeply uncomfortable.

Now, I don't know Teller personally. But from the fact that he hasn't ever given a reason abt his name change and doesn't want to tell his deadname to ppl, I'm fairly sure it goes deeper than trying to be interesting. And then there's the fact that even his parents called him Teller since the 80s!

And another thing we kinda should talk abt, bc it ties into it: As a society, we're slowly learning to treat sensitive topics respectfully and interviewers have got less pushy abt things that could potentially relate to disability, health, self image, queerness etc. Journalists are slowly realising that forcing a celebrity to out themselves or give away something they later regret or discuss things that aren't easy for a broader audience to relate to isn't good journalism, it's bad style. But for some reason, they seem to think this doesn't quite apply to old ppl.

I think that's bc of an underlying assumption that Old Ppl (tm) are all more or less conventional in terms of views, lifestyle and identity. And that sucks.

[Adding more general tags bc this really isn't just abt Teller.]

[snowangeldotmp3]

robin's ptsd has been discussed and stuff.... but what hcs do u have relating to nancy and her ptsd? ehehehe

oh boy i've been WAITING for this one!!!

nancy doesn't go swimming for a while. everything just reminds her of barb and steve's pool. so she just, doesn't. not at the hawkins public pool, not at the lake. nowhere.

nancy cuts her hair after the events of s1 and keeps it relatively short/shoulder-length because if it gets any longer she sees That version of herself. the one who left barb to die.

nightmares. every night. nancy doesn't remember the last time she had a good dream. they're all tainted. have been tainted since november 1983. they're all so vivid. so real, that she has a hard time distinguishing what's real and what's not real. especially after that first encounter with the demogorgon. she eventually gets to a point where she can bring herself out of it when she needs too, but when starcourt happens they come back twice as hard and twice as vivid.

we've seen her zone out in canon, and i don't think that ever really stops with her. i think when she's not in Monster Fighting Journalist mode, and she's just nancy, that she's constantly zoning out. ESPECIALLY after vecna messes with her mind.

i hc that nancy's birthday is the day that will came back/barb didn't (we know her bday is in november, just not the exact day lmao) but nancy doesn't celebrate it anymore. not since Then. a few people know it. her family, jonathan, steve, and eventually robin (who found out on accident) but there's no big celebrations or anything. nancy stays home, alone, wrapped in one of barb's old sweaters.

some days, nancy just shuts down. she's had a really bad nightmare or she's just had a bad day with her trauma in general so she just. kinda wanders. both physically and mentally. it's during one of these bad days i think that she takes down the pictures of her and barb that she had in her room.

speaking of that; i think having the pictures in her room was too much for her, reminding her of everything she could've done differently or should've done differently, so she just can't look at them anymore. (she doesn't get rid of them though, she jsut keeps them in a box under her bed. sometimes when she's feeling too lonely she'll pull them out.)

nancy is also one who doesn't like it if someone sneaks up beside her without seeing who it is first. she likes being able to have eyes on everyone, all the time. just in case.

nancy feels like she has to be the one to protect everyone. i think the trauma + guilt of everything leads to that mentality. it's her responsibility.

these are just a few i have at the moment! i probably have more that i've forgotten/overlooked, but!!! hope u enjoy :)