#I feel bad for making people worry about me when I vent here but I promise I’m ok!! You don’t need to worry about me
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yuubakedthis · 2 days ago
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A Different Kind of Night ⊹ ࣪ ˖
⤷ Malleus x GN!Reader 1.5k words synopsis: You have a difficult time falling asleep as your mind wanders with all the trouble your four months at NRC has caused you. A moment outside should be the perfect escape. But an unexpected visitor shows to prove that even the smallest of gestures are enough. a/n: My first work! Yay! Sorta proof read but now I'm second guessing if I missed something... Comments are appreciated! <3
The night was similar to the one you first met him on. You couldn’t sleep over the sound of Grim snoring and sleep-talking. The ghosts seemed restless and although you knew they harbored no ill will, the atmosphere felt suffocating with their presence. Slipping out of the creaky bed you had learned to love for the past 120 nights, you carefully stepped downstairs and out the front door.
It was freezing. That’s what was different from the first night. Winter was amongst NRC now, and the wind would whip especially hard frequently, leaving you clutching at yourself in hopes to warm up by just a bit. Snow had piled up as far as your eyes would allow you to see. It was beautiful and serene. The silence that hung in the air was making for a perfect scene to gather your thoughts.
Carefully, you scattered the snow from underneath you to make a spot to sit. Closing your eyes, you let your mind drift off, letting every worry that had kept you up at night slowly retreat. It had been a tough four months here. You never asked to be thrusted into this magic-filled world. For you to deal with everyone’s unresolved trauma. You had to remind yourself that you were still human and for you to feel bogged down from the burden was completely reasonable. As much as you wished to stand strong in front of others and help as best you could, it was getting harder and harder recently.
Tonight was one of the rare moments you could allow yourself to fall apart. Most of the campus was preparing to return home for winter break. It was reassuring in a way, knowing that there was a very small chance someone would come across your breakdown, even if it was so late at night. Nothing but the snow, wind, and dying vegetation was around to witness.
Or so you had thought.
“Child of man? Why are you out here so late at night?” When did he even appear?
You quickly wiped your eyes with the back of your hand. You smiled weakly up at him, “Oh, Tsunotarou. Don’t you know it’s always night when we speak to each other?” The chill in the air caught in your throat, making the words that spilled out sound painful. Or was it from the crying? You couldn’t really tell.
He had caught on fairly quickly. “What seems to be the problem?”
You felt small under his gaze. Eyes darting from his face and off to the side, you replied, “Ehh, it’s really nothing. Just homesick, I guess.” It wasn’t entirely untrue. But seven above you weren’t going to vent to this poor man about the real trouble affecting you. About how his world was taking its toll on you. The people at this school becoming the most annoying obstacle course for you to get through.
You hadn’t caught his eyes narrowing at your words; you were too engrossed in a particular spot of snow. You had secretly wished he would make his visit quick and let you be alone again. It was embarrassing enough to be caught right after crying, but you felt more tears welling up and it was getting tougher to keep from sobbing in this man’s face.
Tsunotarou let out a sigh and moved to sit in the cleared spot next to you. It was surprising. He didn’t seem like the type to risk dirtying his clothes just in an attempt to provide comfort. Although he was an arms length away, his proximity still felt overbearing. Your throat tightened more. Swallowing hard, you turned towards him and offered a reassuring smile. “I’m fine, really. You don’t have to stay with me.” Did he feel bad for you? That was an embarrassing thought. You didn’t know Tsunotarou too well, hell not even his own name. It felt wrong to keep him with you in such a vulnerable moment.
“Who said I didn’t want to stay?” Well that was a little unexpected. Again, he didn’t seem like the type to want to voluntarily be in this sort of situation. You exhaled softly at that, another small smile appearing.
“Thank you.” You replied, glancing down at the cement between your knees.
There was a particularly long beat of silence afterwards. It wasn’t entirely awkward but not totally natural either. The wind was picking up now. Snow had scattered more around you both, making interesting patterns to stare too long at.
“Are you cold?” His voice had startled you out of your daze. You lifted your head to look at him and he laughed slightly at the flush on your cheeks. You were indeed cold.
“Is it that obvious?” Shivering now like your body had been reminded of the chill, Tsunotarou made a move towards the garden. He moved with such grace it was impossible to look away. He broke off some branches from a nearby tree, the brittleness of them making it easy.
“Oh you don’t have to go through the trouble Tsunotarou,” You reached out a hand to wave him off. He gathered the branches at the foot of the steps and bent down to them. “I don’t even have a lighter on me, it would take too much time to get the fl-“ You had cut yourself off at what he did next.
He had gently let out green flames to ignite the bundle. Your mouth held slack in shock. With as much as you’ve seen, seeing him breathe fire shouldn’t have surprised you. Grim breathed fire but you never let that shock you. You assumed it was different because it was Tsunotarou doing it. He was too human, even despite the horns, sharp ears, and scary lizard eyes.
You quickly collected yourself and shot him a grateful look. The flames worked incredibly well and you felt the chill leaving your system almost immediately. He had sat down in his previous spot, though you could swear he was a bit closer now.
“Better?” He questioned softly as you nodded in return.
“Much.” Your hands held close to the flames, careful of the wind still blowing through making small sparks fly wildly.
“I apologize that this is all I can give you as comfort. I’m not well versed in…” He trailed off to search for the right words. “Soothing others.” You had giggled at that.
“This is more than enough, Tsunotarou. Besides, you didn’t have to stay with me. But you still did. And just that means a lot to me.” Your voice shook a little on the last words. Since arriving in this strange world, you hadn’t realized how much you craved a calming presence like his own. It wasn’t overbearing, but also not apathetic. Despite barely knowing you, he had offered his own sort of support, even when in the dark about your true issues. It was refreshing.
It was his turn to look away from you. Your words seemed to stick with him as he stared off. After a few moments, he returned to look at you and smiled softly. “That makes me glad, prefect. Unfortunately, I’ll have to take my leave. I’d hate to keep you up much longer.” Tsunotarou stood up and wiped any lingering snow off his clothes.
“That’s okay! Will you be returning home for winter break?” You were genuinely curious about where he would be, but a part of you also didn’t want to burden him with another night like this in the future. You laughed inwardly at the thought.
“That’s right. I’ve got some business to attend to there. I am also…” His eyes conveyed a strong emotion. “Homesick.”
You nodded in understanding. Slowly getting up, cautious of the still burning flame in front of you, you bowed deeply in appreciation.
“Thank you again, Tsunotarou. It was nice seeing you.”
“And you, prefect.” At that, you returned to stand straight, noticing suddenly that he was gone as fast as he’d come.
You bit your bottom lip in a smile. He was the most intriguing thing you’ve come across in this world. You returned to sit down in front of the fire. By now, your body seemed impossibly warm given the environment around you. It made for an even more peaceful moment.
You stayed like that for a good while longer. The wind had died down and so did your thoughts. Sleep was slowly inviting itself in, multiple yawns assaulting you. As you stood and stretched, the flames that had still been burning well caught your attention. But before you made an attempt to snuff them, a strong gust blew through and did the job for you.
You stood stunned for a moment before shaking your head and smiling. Hugging yourself at the sudden cold, you quickly made your way up the steps. At the entrance, you turned to take one last look at the empty landscape. You swore you saw a flicker of green light not too far off, but it was all too fast to say for sure. You shook off the feeling and reached for the door.
The warmth of Ramshackle invited you in, and as you went back in bed, sleep came too easy. Not even Grim’s incessant whining could distract you now.
Thank you, Tsunotarou.
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savage-rhi · 9 months ago
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*insert pink color here*
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lemonynuggets · 7 months ago
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I keep forgetting I actually have followers so whenever I post something personal and people see it this is how it feels
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thecherrygod · 1 year ago
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#my posts#...........................................................................................................................................#............................................................................................................................................#is that enough i think that's enough#yeah that's how its going#everything's been getting worse and I've been feeling very bad but also very pathetic and like complaining almost makes me feel worse but#i can't do anything else about this so like. vent post lmao bc I'm a dumbass#i truly just want to(redacted)but one of those isn't an option and the other i have a drs appointment soon and i don't want to explain that#everything is just. bad. and what isn't i feel like it's getting bad and it's my fault. and I'm probably right.#just. i hate it here#the deserving mentality is truly getting to me and i fucking hate it. it's not logical. I'll still agree with it.#i truly don't deserve the food stuff i can't keep in my life and i deserve the shit that in getting and i can't stop agreeing with that#'oh this classmate wants to have lunch with me on Saturday after working on something! i should cancel before it's too late-#-so i can continue feeling bad for being an apple bc people should hate me bc I'm horrible and don't deserve kindness' like#it's. it's false. it's not logical. and yet#everyone else there's the fucking plexiglass wall and where it wasn't i think it's getting formed and it is my fault probably#i am annoying that one is true#.... I've been making posts like this all day and deleting them bc I'm pathetic also. it's.#... there's a little too much going on lmao#nothing's worth it and i feel like shit and anything i could try to do about it doesn't work and I'm just tired#... in case someone does read this i know it sounds worrying but nothing will happen tbh I'm just a pathetic coward who's sad and tired#and tired of being sad in a way that feels like it's getting worse#I'm not very sure when was the last time i felt. this bad in just. i don't know how to make it stop lmao#also in already annoying so this is all i can do i think lmao#i think I'm seeing now I'm just. being redundant and if i keep this up too much i will delete this. and i should but. i don't think i will#also without saying much this year the one thing™ has been worse than usual and that's not helping either so it truly is just.#that everything is kinda very bad#.... yeah. whatever. it's just.¯⁠\⁠_⁠(⁠ツ⁠)⁠_⁠/⁠¯#... i truly wish killing myself was still an option like when i was a teen bit it's not so i just have to deal with whatever this is#... i hate being aware this is all super illogical bc the logical post of my brain teams up making me feel worse somehow.
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im-boned · 1 year ago
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aaaooughhh. cook for me fictional other. fictional other. cook for me
#skrambles#or just. get me food. pleeeeeeeease im asking so niceys#i didnt. get any food today Cause they freaking forgot me#which. shoulnt be a problem because im almost 19 i should be able to make food for myself#but. as it turns out. i canttttt#and anyway i like to imagine papyrus cooking for me because he loves cooking and i think making food is how he shows he cares 4 ppl…..#or one way at least#blegh. anyway im not gonna go full vent mode on here because who give a shit but. it also makes me feel so STUPID 4 not being able to do#like. basic stuff like feeding myself#so. i think papyrus would like making me stuff to eat and also encouraging me about it#also. hed be good at forcing me to eat in a way that doesnt make me feel bad#ive talked about this before but i feel guilty when i tell people i havent eaten in awhile so i lie and stuff…..#like ‘oh i ate not too long ago so im fine’ and then#‘not long ago’ means like. 3 days.#and it makes me feel guilty and makes other people worry and then THEY feel guilty cause they cant really do anything#but papyrus is cool and awesome and smart so he doesnt make me admit it out loud and he makes me eat stuff even when i dont wanna#but. in a way that doesnt make me feel bad either. hes a master of psychological manipulation But like good#like. i tried a new recipe and you HAVE to taste it and tell me what u think or ill look sooo sad and dejected ^__^#blarfgh. anyway -_-#i wish my cool awesome bffsie papyrus was here to make me awesome food
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angeltism · 3 months ago
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school is pissing me offffff really bad and i am getting overwhelmed reaaaal bad too
#why would you sit where i usually sit i need to charge my shit i alwayssss charge my shit and i sit there bc the outlets are there#WHY would you leave ur stuff by the outlet so someone else can't sit there. if you are. NOT HERE.#and he even took his laptop and left BITCHWHERW ARYOYGOING INEEDTO CHARGEM Y LAPTOP SO ICAN DOMY FUCKIN ONLINE CLSASASJHJDHSJF#im gonna crash out. people are pissing me off so bad#i need to just. hang out w people who are niceys to me! but. they. are not. in. my. class.#i actually feel awful rn ihate this#i wanna gohome and not worry about this i wanna just study and finishmy fucking project without being in an environment#that BY FUCKING DEFINITION FOR SOMEEE REASON makes me feel like i am on fight or flight WITHOUT ANY BREAK#im gonna come home tired and annoyed AS ALWAYS and sleep until 5pm and still feel like shit and then spend the rest of my night#studying and literally fucking hating everything. icannot fucking do this why is school so fucking ass i hate this#➳ valentin vents#this weekend i should try to plan going to the mall w someone or something#so i can. do a social thing. and feel less as though people dgaf about me ON TOP OF ALL OF THIS#school stresses me so bad already idont also need to be a shut-in who doesn't hang out w anyone ever#i honestlythink it's too late for me to make any more friends in highschool like. i have my bestie and thank god forthat#and i have long lost bestie who i really wanna try to talk to again bc i miss him :(#and i have. acquaintances. whoi barely talk to At school much less Outside of school. i don't think any of them careabt me enough to#anyways. so. like. 2 friendsis probably what i'll finish highschool with. i doubt any more and i PRAY it's not less.#sighjfhgjshjgh can people just Like Me and ask to hang out w/o me having to do anything <- wishful thinking ik it's not good#to expect that of people blablabla it just feels IMPOSSIBLE to be interesting in convos or have ppl care abt what im saying or want#to talk to me??? like even when i try it's like i join a convo and it's like. i am trying to talk to ppl but nobody is talking to me. they#are all just talking to each other even if isay something to them. they look at me blankly as if they're#confused on why i've opened my mouth and i never say anything funny or interesting enough to make them stop#and actually react in any positive way ever.#why am i such a social failure it's like there's 2 people at this school i actually know how to talk to and it makes me wanna cry
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sparklecur · 1 year ago
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heehee hoo i love anxiety i love being anxious over people not reblogging my stuff
#BTW LIKE IF YOU DONT REBLOG SOMETHING I MAKE JUST BECAUSE YOURE NOT INTERESTED IN IT THATS OK!!!!!#i post stuff that I Like and thats good enough for me and i dont wanna force anyone to reblog my stuff if they dont wanna!!!!!!!!!#i just. sometimes get really nervous like what if they arent reblogging it because i did something wrong what if i drew the character wrong#and now everyone hates me and thats why they arent reblogging...............#[uh it gets kinda rambly/vent-y past here feel free to ignore idm]#what if i drew or said something wrong and it means im racist/ableist/what have you#*posts cute doodle* haha what if i accidentally promoted ableist stereotypes#WHAT IF I HAD A BAD TAKE ABOUT The Character AND IM ONE OF THOSE FANS THAT PEOPLE VAGUEPOST ABOUT LIKE#not to point any fingers but ughhh#some people in this fandom really get on my nerves (tumblr wont let me use quotation marks???)#its even more nerve racking when the fandom is small like#if you have a Cringe Take in a fandom like sonic or pokemon its such a big fandom you might not get as much attention for it because theres#so many other people but when the fandom has like 5 people its way harder to ignore#thinks.#when i think about it a lot of my worries are centered around fae actually#what if the way i draw her is infantilizing!!!!!!!!! what if im being annoying by drawing her so much!!!!!!! what if i only have a surface#level understanding of her character!!!!!!! and most of how i perceive her is just headcanons and projection!!!!!!!!!!!#same goes with almer like i dont really talk about him much although im less. anxious about it? because i just dont talk about him as much#ecause i havent really studied him as a character in depth and stuff#HEY SUPERGIANT GIVE HIM MORE SCREENTIME GOSH DANG IT#um anyways#oh yeah what if i have a bad take about the character and im accidentally ableist or something!!!!!!!! aaaaaaaaaa#and like like like i am guilty ofthe not fully grasping her character thing or at least like for some reason i either forget or ignore her#interest/connection with the scribes despite that being like. an Important Part of her character and i feel kinda bad about that#same with almer and cur culture/tradition and stuff#YOU FOOL!!!!!!!!!!! YOU ARE IGNORING MAJORLY IMPORTANT ASPECTS OF THEIR CHARACTERS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! YOU BUFFOON!!!!!!!!!!!!!#YOU DONT DESERVE TO HAVE THEM AS YOUR BLORBOS IF YOU DONT UNDERSTAND THEM/APPRECIATE THEM PROPERLY!!!!!!!#NOW THE MOB WILL COME FOR YOU#hhhhgggggg#hm. uh that was way more words than i expected !
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solxamber · 4 months ago
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'Elloo! :D I saw your requests open, can I request some hcs or short imagines for the first, second, and third years, separate characters?? Or you can just do it as a single scenario with all the characters. They're (Their??) reaction when they've realized the things reader/Yuu had to go through starting from the very beginning ,when they first got transported to the school. Like, the shock of not being able to go home, new environment, the fear-- just the emotional and mental turmoil reader/yuu went through starting from the beginning.
Also, as time goes by it just gets worse and worse along with all the overblots and stuff that got reader/Yuu over the edge. And now the students kind of help?? Or at least try to soothe or comfort the reader I guess??
Does this make any sense?? I dunno :'D
I want me some angst hehe >:]
But if this is kind of too much then it's okii if you wanna skip this one, I love the effort you put into your writings! <3
I kinda just wanted to ramble and yap about this idea I had hehe
Toodles!
thank you!! and i'm sorry it too so long, but i hope you like it <3
They realise what you went through - All NRC + Rollo + Neige + Grim, Staff
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Riddle Rosehearts
Riddle doesn’t realize the extent of your struggle until much later, likely after witnessing you reach your breaking point. The way you bottle up your emotions reminds him of himself before his own overblot, and it fills him with guilt. He prides himself on upholding order, but he feels like he failed to notice the chaos within you.
“Why didn’t you say something?” Riddle asks, voice trembling as he stands before you, his normally stern expression soft with regret. He places a hesitant hand on your shoulder, unsure if he has the right to offer comfort after overlooking your pain for so long. “I… I should have noticed. I’m sorry.”
Riddle dives into a methodical plan to ease your burdens. He takes on your academic concerns, ensuring your assignments are manageable and offering personal tutoring. When you’re overwhelmed, he insists you take breaks in Heartslabyul’s peaceful rose garden. While he’s not good at openly expressing affection, he’s steadfast, always by your side with words of encouragement and warm tea.
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Trey Clover
Trey picks up on your struggles sooner than most, his observant nature allowing him to notice the small cracks in your demeanor. He doesn’t pry but stays close, offering quiet support until he realizes you’re beyond your limit. His heart aches knowing you’ve been carrying so much without asking for help.
“Hey… you don’t have to pretend everything’s fine,” Trey says softly, kneeling beside you as you sit slumped in an empty classroom. His usual calm demeanor is tinged with concern. “I’ve seen you pushing yourself too hard. You’re not alone in this, you know.”
Trey becomes your sanctuary. He’s the type to cook comforting meals for you, often sneaking you your favorite desserts. He encourages you to talk at your own pace, listening without judgment. Trey also ensures you’re surrounded by people who care, gently urging you to spend time with friends so you never feel isolated again.
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Cater Diamond
Cater doesn’t fully realize how bad things are until he catches you breaking down when you think no one is watching. The sight hits him hard—he’s used to wearing masks himself, but seeing you put on a brave face while falling apart reminds him of his own struggles.
“Whoa, hey, hey…” Cater’s voice is unusually soft as he crouches in front of you, the playful lilt replaced with genuine worry. “You’ve been holding all this in, haven’t you? Man, that’s not healthy… You should’ve told me!”
Cater becomes your cheerleader, using his energy to lift your spirits. He takes you on spontaneous outings, distracting you with fun activities and selfies to remind you of life’s lighter side. When you need to vent, he’s surprisingly patient, letting you talk without interruptions. His go-to phrase becomes, “No filter, just let it out. I’m here.”
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Ace Trappola
Ace is the last to understand the depth of your pain, brushing off your struggles as stress until you finally snap. Seeing you cry or lash out leaves him dumbstruck—he’s not used to serious emotions and struggles to process it at first. But beneath his awkwardness, he genuinely cares.
“Whoa… I didn’t think it was this bad.” Ace rubs the back of his neck, guilt clear in his expression. “Look, I’m sorry if I made things worse. I didn’t mean to. I just… didn’t know.”
Ace sticks close to you in his own Ace-like way. He cracks jokes to make you laugh and distracts you with playful banter, but he’s also there for the serious moments. If you’re feeling overwhelmed, he drags you outside to play a quick game of basketball or to look at the stars, insisting, “You’ve gotta clear your head, or you’ll go crazy.”
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Deuce Spade
Deuce notices your struggles but doesn’t know how to approach you about them. When he finally sees you crumble, it makes him feel like he’s failed as your friend. His protective instincts kick in, and he becomes determined to help you in any way he can.
“Wait—you’ve been feeling like this the whole time?” Deuce’s voice is thick with emotion as he looks at you, his fists clenched at his sides. “Why didn’t you tell me? I could’ve done something! I’m supposed to have your back!”
Deuce takes your well-being seriously, to the point of overcompensating at first. He insists on walking you to class, carrying your things, and defending you against anything he perceives as a threat (real or imagined). Over time, he learns to provide quiet support, sitting with you during tough moments and saying, “We’ll get through this together. I promise.”
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Leona Kingscholar
Leona is a perceptive man, even if he acts otherwise, but your struggles slip under his radar for too long. It isn’t until he notices how you’ve stopped rising to his teasing or how the light in your eyes has dimmed that the gravity of your situation hits him. It reminds him of his own sense of isolation, and the guilt gnaws at him.
“Tch. You think you’re the only one who has to deal with this crap?” Leona’s voice is gruff, but there’s no malice in it. He sighs, sitting beside you under the shade of a tree. “You should’ve said something sooner, herbivore. Doesn’t mean you have to carry it all yourself.”
Leona doesn’t coddle you, but his actions speak louder than his words. He offers his presence, silently inviting you to nap in the botanical gardens with him when you need a break. If anyone dares to make your life harder, Leona handles it with a quiet, lethal efficiency. “Rest up. You’re not falling apart on my watch.”
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Ruggie Bucchi
Ruggie notices your struggles quickly, but his initial reaction is to brush it off as normal stress—until he sees you genuinely hit your breaking point. It stuns him; he’s used to dealing with hardships himself but hates the idea of you enduring the same without support.
“Oi, don’t do this to yourself,” Ruggie says, his usual playful tone replaced by something softer. “You’re not alone, y’know? I don’t let my people suffer in silence. That’s not how we roll.”
Ruggie uses his resourcefulness to lighten your load however he can. He sneaks you snacks, takes care of tedious tasks for you, and even makes you laugh with his sharp wit. When you’re overwhelmed, he shares stories of his struggles to show you that it’s okay to lean on others. “You’ve got me, okay? I’ll make sure you’re okay, promise.”
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Jack Howl
Jack notices the signs of your stress early on, but he hesitates to bring it up, unsure if it’s his place. When he finally realizes how deeply you’re struggling, it stirs a protective instinct in him, and he immediately resolves to do whatever it takes to help you.
“You should’ve told me,” Jack says, his voice low and filled with regret. His ears twitch as he glances away, guilt etched across his face. “I could’ve helped. You don’t have to do this on your own anymore.”
Jack becomes your steadfast support, encouraging you to exercise or go for runs to clear your mind. He’s a calming presence, offering quiet companionship when words aren’t enough. “You’re strong, but you don’t always have to be. Let me help carry the weight, okay?”
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Azul Ashengrotto
Azul prides himself on noticing vulnerabilities in others, but your ability to mask your pain throws him off. When the cracks finally show, it shakes him deeply, reminding him of his own insecurities and the times he felt powerless.
“I didn’t realize…” Azul murmurs, his hands wringing nervously as he looks at you with uncharacteristic vulnerability. “I should have seen it. I’m sorry—for everything. Let me help you now.”
Azul’s approach is practical and calculated, but it’s rooted in genuine care. He offers to take over responsibilities or negotiate solutions to ease your stress. When you’re overwhelmed, he’s unexpectedly tender, sitting with you in his VIP room and reminding you, “Even the strongest need someone to lean on. You’ve been there for others; let us be here for you.”
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Jade Leech
Jade notices your struggles early but refrains from intervening, assuming you’ll reach out when you’re ready. When he realizes how much you’ve been bottling up, he’s surprised and slightly guilty for not addressing it sooner.
“My, you’ve been carrying quite the burden,” Jade says, his usual calm tinged with regret. “It seems I underestimated just how much you’ve endured. Forgive my oversight.”
Jade is a master of subtlety, offering comfort in ways that feel natural and unintrusive. He invites you on quiet walks through the woods, using the serene atmosphere to help ease your mind. When words are needed, he listens attentively, his soothing voice offering reassurance. “Do not hesitate to lean on me, should you need support. I’ll always be here.”
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Floyd Leech
Floyd doesn’t realize how bad things are until you completely snap, and even then, it takes him a moment to process that your outburst isn’t just a temporary mood. Seeing you so broken flips a switch in him, his usual playful demeanor replaced with a rare seriousness.
“Shrimpy, why didn’t you say anything?” Floyd’s voice is uncharacteristically quiet, his sharp eyes scanning your face. He pouts, but there’s no mischief in it—just genuine concern. “You don’t gotta handle everything alone, y’know?”
Floyd sticks to you like glue, his unpredictable nature becoming a strange source of comfort. He drags you out for spontaneous adventures, insisting that fun will help you feel better. When you’re feeling low, he’s surprisingly gentle, wrapping you in a tight hug and muttering, “I gotcha, Shrimpy. Nobody’s messin’ with you while I’m here.”
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Kalim Al-Asim
Kalim is always full of energy and positivity, so it takes him a while to notice the depths of your struggles. When he does, he’s devastated, blaming himself for not seeing it sooner.
“Wait—you’ve been feeling like this?” Kalim’s eyes widen, tears threatening to spill. “Why didn’t you tell me? I could’ve done something to help!”
Kalim does everything in his power to brighten your days. He showers you with gifts, invites you to lively parties, and insists on spending time together to lift your spirits. When he realizes that quiet support means more than grand gestures, he sits with you, holding your hand. “You’re not alone, okay? I’ll always be here for you.”
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Jamil Viper
Jamil is highly observant, and while he notices your struggles early on, he assumes you’re managing on your own until he sees how much you’ve truly endured. It reminds him of his own bottled-up frustrations, and guilt eats at him for not acting sooner.
“...I should’ve known,” Jamil mutters, his voice low and filled with regret. He rubs the back of his neck, avoiding your gaze. “I’ve been through this too. I know what it’s like to feel trapped. I’m sorry I didn’t step in sooner.”
Jamil’s care comes in quiet, thoughtful gestures. He prepares your favorite meals, arranges peaceful moments away from the chaos of NRC, and ensures you never feel overwhelmed alone. “You’ve done more than enough. Let me take care of things for a while.”
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Vil Schoenheit
Vil’s sharp eyes catch the signs of your struggles quickly, but he initially brushes them off, believing you’ll overcome them like any challenge. When the full weight of your burden becomes clear, he’s horrified and deeply regretful for not intervening sooner.
“I failed to notice something so glaringly obvious,” Vil says, his tone laced with self-reproach. “That’s not acceptable—not as your friend and certainly not as someone who should’ve supported you better.”
Vil approaches your comfort with precision and care, determined to help you regain your footing. He insists on self-care days, encourages you to vent your frustrations, and teaches you grounding techniques. “You’re stronger than you think, but even the strongest need rest. I’m here for you, no matter what.”
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Rook Hunt
Rook is attuned to the emotions of those around him, and your pain does not escape his notice. He marvels at your resilience but is deeply saddened that you’ve been enduring so much without seeking help.
“Mon cher trésor, your suffering… it pains me to think I let you endure this alone,” Rook says softly, his gaze earnest. “You’ve carried a weight that no one should bear by themselves. Allow me to lighten your burden.”
Rook’s support is poetic and heartfelt, crafting moments of beauty to remind you of the world’s wonders. Whether it’s a bouquet of flowers, a handwritten letter, or a quiet moment under the stars, he ensures you feel cherished. “You are not alone in this grand stage of life, and I shall remain by your side as your steadfast ally.”
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Epel Felmier
Epel is initially too caught up in his own frustrations to notice the extent of your struggles, but once he sees you falter, his protective side kicks in. It reminds him of his own insecurities about being underestimated.
“Aw, geez, why didn’t ya say somethin’?” Epel frowns, his voice uncharacteristically soft. “You’re always lookin’ out for us, but ya never let anyone do the same for you. That ain’t fair.”
Epel takes a straightforward approach, offering to help however he can. He sticks close, ensuring you never feel alone, and encourages you to vent when needed. “You’re tough as nails, but that doesn’t mean you gotta do it all by yourself. We’re a team, remember?”
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Idia Shroud
Idia is slow to notice your struggles, being so wrapped up in his own world, but when he realizes the extent of your pain, it hits him hard. He sees a reflection of his own struggles in you and feels immense guilt for not seeing it sooner.
“This is my fault, isn’t it?” Idia mumbles, his voice trembling. His hair dims as he nervously fiddles with his tablet. “I should’ve… I don’t know, paid more attention. I’m sorry. I—I wanna help, if you’ll let me.”
Idia comforts you in his own awkward way, creating a safe space where you can relax without judgment. He shares his favorite games, shows, and quiet moments, offering you an escape from the chaos. “You don’t have to be ‘okay’ all the time. Just… take it easy for now. I’m here if you need me.”
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Ortho Shroud
Ortho is one of the first to notice your struggles, his advanced sensors picking up on changes in your emotional and physical state. His concern is immediate, and he wastes no time in seeking to help.
“You’ve been so sad for so long, haven’t you?” Ortho’s voice is soft, as he hovers close. “I wish I could’ve made you smile sooner. I’m sorry you’ve been hurting.”
Ortho’s comfort is warm and reassuring, filled with optimism and boundless energy. He’s always ready with encouraging words, small gifts, or simply a cheerful presence to brighten your day. “You’re not alone! I’ll do everything I can to help you feel better, okay?”
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Malleus Draconia
Malleus has always sensed something amiss about your emotions, his acute sensitivity to auras making it impossible for him to overlook your struggles. However, he hesitates to approach, fearing he might overstep or worsen your burdens. When he finally understands the depth of your pain, he is both heartbroken and determined to help.
“You’ve been enduring this in silence?” His deep voice is laced with regret as his green eyes soften. “If only I had been more attentive, perhaps I could have eased your pain.”
Malleus ensures you feel his unwavering support. He invites you for peaceful strolls under the stars, shares his favorite quiet spots, and reassures you with his calming presence. “You are precious to me. Whatever darkness surrounds you, I will remain by your side until the light returns.”
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Lilia Vanrouge
Lilia has lived long enough to recognize the signs of emotional turmoil, and it pains him to see you suffer. While he often masks his seriousness with cheerfulness, he doesn’t hesitate to step in when he sees you reaching your breaking point.
“Oh, little one, you’ve carried such a heavy heart all this time.” His playful demeanor fades into solemnity as he places a gentle hand on your shoulder. “You shouldn’t have to face this alone.”
Lilia comforts you with wisdom and warmth, drawing on centuries of experience. He shares stories to make you laugh, cooks (albeit questionable) meals to distract you, and offers sage advice when you’re ready to talk. “Life’s trials are harsh, but you’re stronger than you know. And if you need someone to lean on, I’ll always be here.”
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Silver
Silver is observant despite his drowsy nature, and he’s one of the first to notice your growing exhaustion. When he realizes the extent of your suffering, he feels deeply remorseful for not acting sooner.
“I should have seen this sooner,” Silver says quietly, his tone filled with regret. “You’ve always looked out for others… I should’ve done the same for you.”
Silver stays by your side, offering silent, steady support. He doesn’t push you to talk but is always ready to listen when you’re ready. His calm demeanor helps ground you, and he often sits quietly with you under a tree or by a calm lake. “You’re not alone. I’ll protect you—not just from danger, but from this weight you’re carrying.”
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Sebek Zigvolt
Sebek’s initial reaction is frustration—not at you, but at himself for failing to notice your struggles while being so focused on Malleus. His loyalty shifts into overdrive as he becomes determined to help you.
“You’ve been struggling this much, and I didn’t see it?!” Sebek’s voice is loud, but there’s a rare softness in his expression. “That is… unacceptable. I failed you as a companion.”
Sebek’s attempts to comfort you are a bit clumsy but heartfelt. He insists on helping you with daily tasks and loudly declares his commitment to your well-being. Despite his rough edges, his sincerity shines through. “Know this: I will not allow you to suffer alone any longer. You have my loyalty, now and always.”
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Rollo Flamme
Rollo’s disdain for magic only deepens when he realizes how much you’ve suffered due to the chaos and overblots of NRC. His concern for you is genuine, though it’s laced with anger toward the school and its culture.
“This place… It’s a cesspool of disorder and harm,” Rollo says, his voice cold yet trembling with suppressed emotion. “You’ve been caught in its web for too long. You deserve better.”
Rollo’s comfort is practical and protective. He tries to create a sense of normalcy for you, offering quiet, structured moments away from the chaos. His words are sharp but sincere. “You deserve a life of peace and stability. If you can’t find it here, I’ll do what I can to give it to you.”
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Neige LeBlanche
Neige is quick to notice your distress, his naturally empathetic nature making him keenly aware of your struggles. He’s horrified to think of you enduring so much alone and wants to do everything in his power to make you smile again.
“Oh no… You’ve been feeling like this?” Neige’s voice is soft, his eyes brimming with concern. “You don’t deserve to carry such sadness by yourself.”
Neige’s comfort is gentle and uplifting. He sings for you, offers kind words, and encourages you to express your feelings without fear. “You’re so strong, but you don’t have to be strong all the time. It’s okay to let someone take care of you for a change.”
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Grim
Grim initially doesn’t notice your struggles, his focus often on his own ambitions and mischief. When he finally realizes how much you’ve been enduring, he feels both guilt and panic.
“Hey… You’re not okay, are ya?” Grim’s ears droop as he looks up at you, his voice unusually soft. “Why didn’t ya tell me? I—I’m supposed to be your partner!”
Grim becomes fiercely protective, sticking by your side at all times. He tries to cheer you up with his antics and insists on being your “emotional support boss.” “You’re stuck with me, got it? So don’t go actin’ like you’re all alone. I won’t let ya.”
Staff:
Crowley
Crowley prides himself on being the "benevolent" headmaster, but when he realizes how much you’ve suffered under his care—or lack thereof—he’s struck by a rare pang of guilt. While he’s not one to admit fault outright, he becomes visibly uncomfortable with the weight of his oversight.
“My dear, you’ve been carrying all of this on your shoulders?” His dramatic flair falters for a moment, his usual exuberance replaced with awkward sincerity. “I… suppose I may have been a tad neglectful in ensuring your well-being.”
Crowley tries to make amends in his own roundabout way, offering resources, extended accommodations, or attempting to be more attentive (though his efforts are often misguided). “Rest assured, I shall personally oversee that you are well cared for! You have my full support—within reason, of course.”
Divus Crewel
Crewel is not one to tolerate weakness, but when he sees the toll everything has taken on you, his stern demeanor softens. He’s the type to take immediate, no-nonsense action to ensure you’re taken care of.
“You’ve let it get this bad without saying a word?” His sharp tone is laced with frustration, but his eyes betray his concern. “Pup, I thought I taught you better than to carry burdens alone.”
Crewel’s approach is practical yet caring. He insists you rest, brings you comforting meals, and ensures you know you’re valued. “You’re stronger than you think, but even the strongest need support. Lean on me, pup. I’ll make sure you’re back to full strength in no time.”
Mozus Trein
Trein is a man of wisdom and observation. He likely noticed your struggles but respected your space, waiting for the right time to step in. When he realizes the full extent of your distress, he feels deep regret for not intervening sooner.
“I should have addressed this earlier.” His voice is steady but tinged with remorse. “You’ve faced more challenges than any student should. It’s a testament to your resilience, but it shouldn’t have come to this.”
Trein offers gentle guidance, providing stability and reassurance. He shares stories of his own trials and reminds you that even the hardest times pass. “Life is fraught with difficulties, but you’ve shown remarkable courage. Allow others to help shoulder the burden—you need not face this alone.”
Ashton Vargas
Vargas isn’t the most emotionally perceptive, but when it finally clicks that you’re struggling, he’s hit with a wave of guilt. He immediately shifts gears, trading his usual boisterousness for genuine concern.
“Whoa… I had no idea it was this bad,” Vargas says, his brows furrowed in concern. “Why didn’t you say something sooner? I would’ve helped in a heartbeat!”
Vargas focuses on physical activity as a form of comfort, encouraging you to blow off steam in healthy ways. He also offers constant positive reinforcement. “You’re tough, kid, but even the toughest need a break. Let’s get some fresh air and clear your head—you’ve got this!”
Sam
Sam has always been attuned to the emotions of others, so when he realizes the depth of your struggles, he feels a pang of regret for not stepping in sooner. His usual upbeat demeanor becomes tinged with quiet sympathy.
“Well, well… Looks like someone’s been carrying more than their fair share.” His voice is soft, his usual grin replaced with a concerned expression. “You’ve been through a lot, haven’t you?”
Sam provides comfort through small but meaningful gestures, like preparing your favorite treats or giving you space to talk. He reassures you with his calming presence and wise words. “Don’t keep it bottled up, friend. Whatever you’re feeling, it’s valid. I’m here to help you through it.”
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Masterlist
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sketchtastrophee · 3 months ago
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more old art!! featuring theo and my human harley fan design!! RUN THEODORE RUN (he's cooked)
im gonna talk about chapter 4 under here so only click if ur ok with spoilers! also its a huge yapfest. like HUUGE. i just want to voice my opinions about prototype because i've seen ppl sort of miss the point of what happened at the end of the chapter
I LOVED CHAPTER 4! IT WAS SO COOL!! i was sooo worried but im glad it turned out good. rip pianosaurus tho..
tldr (for the bunch of paragraphs where I talk abt prototype)
prototype being ollie is deranged because it means he was terrorizing the toys of safe haven on purpose for the fun of it when he could have killed them at any time. he also created an extremely close emotional bond with poppy for OVER A DECADE just to tear it all away from her at the end and tell her it was meaningless (he then proceeds to taunt her over the phone abt it). bro is LITERALLY TROLLING
you cant tell me that final scene w the "ive got something special in mind. i prepared it just for you, and this time you'll never want to leave." isnt some tom and jerry shit
ABT PROTOTYPE REVEALING HIMSELF AS OLLIE... (the long explanation)
we ALL knew he was ollie, but i don't think people are seeing the point of this reveal. it wasn't about revealing himself to us the player, it's about the implications that arise from it. he had been playing both sides for 10+ YEARS. that's deranged enough but not even CLOSE to the end of it
as ollie he had emotionally supported poppy in her lowest moments (as heard in the ollie and poppy tape). this tape also insinuates that (at least around the time it was recorded) the two of them called frequently, possibly every night. he wasn't just pretending to be everyone's ally, he was PRETENDING TO BE THEIR CLOSEST FRIEND THAT THEY COULD VENT TO 😭 he heard this poor girl sob into the phone and tell him about how she felt her humanity being taken from her, AND HE KEPT UP THE CHARADE AND COMFORTED HER, KNOWING THIS PATH HAD BAD INTENTIONS
what's worse than all of that, though, is that him being ollie means that at any time in the last 10 years he could have used the persona to force his way into safe haven. AT ANY TIME HE COULD HAVE KILLED THEM ALL. HE COULD SIMPLY USE THE OLLIE VOICE AND ASK THEM TO OPEN THE DOOR. why is this worse, you ask? because HE WAS LITERALLY TERRORIZING THEM ON PURPOSE.
think about the note in the cart/cave area. a toy from safe haven writes that prototype was right outside the door the night before, he'd gotten past the traps and was just tapping on the wall and staring. they said after he was gone they still felt they could hear it. HE IS LITERALLY BEING SCARY ON PURPOSE???? LEGIT TRAUMATIZING THEM AND FOR NO REASON. HE COULD GET IN THERE, HE'S SIMPLY CHOOSING TO MAKE THEIR LIVES HELL
so thats crazy.. BUT ALSO THE ENDING? in the poppy and ollie tape he says "im right here, poppy. for you. i'll always be here." AND AT THE END OF THE GAME, WHEN POPPY ASKS WHAT HE DID WITH OLLIE, HE SAYS THAT. you know what that means? that means he said that shit to her ALL THE TIME. clearly only the two of them would be familiar with the phrase which is why after he said it, she immediately knew he was ollie the whole time
i feel bad for poppy. she ran off but she was valid for that. all her friends from safe haven are dead, the only ones left are the player, kissy and ollie, but she soon realizes that ollie is WORSE than dead. he is LITERALLY HER ENEMY. the thousands of conversations they had, probably hundreds of times she vented and told him her plans and discussed her life with him? ALL FOR NOTHING. any time she thought she was winning the past 10 years was a lie, she was ALWAYS LOSING because he was GETTING ALL THE INFO FROM THEM. she genuinely never had a chance and i think she realized that
in her dialogue you can tell she's grieving ollie (obviously he IS prototype, but i think she's grieving the thought of him). saying "you lied to me" to the prototype of all people is absurd (considering he's done far worse than lie) but when you think about how she feels, it makes sense.
also the part where she said "this isn't right". again, a weird thing to say to him of all people, but if you put yourself in her shoes she's grieving the friend she thought she had, and she's struggling to grapple with the fact that it all meant nothing. somewhere in her mind she believes "ollie" as a personality is there somewhere, because how could someone be that close with you and mean none of it? she thinks that voicing this pain he's inflicted will change his mind, but it won't. and that's why it's genuinely really sad. that's why she asks if there was ever an ollie. i don't think she meant it literally, and i don't think his answer was literal either. she didn't mean "were you a mf named ollie once" she meant it like "was our friendship ever genuine?" which makes his response both heartbreaking and interesting.
so not only is her world shattered now, most of her friends are dead and the one who wasn't turned out to be her opp, but now he's TAUNTING HER OVER THE PHONE AND THREATENING HER. nice one... (loved the quip after she ran off btw. that shit was hilarious. like bro u made her crash out and went "some friend, huh?" YOU CANT SAY THAT BRO)
anyway think of it from her perspective: everyone you knew is gone, and soon the only 2 people that remain will be too. you can't run, or hide, or do anything. he WILL find you, and when he does he'll lock you away FOREVER where NOBODY WILL BE LEFT TO SAVE YOU. I WOULD RUN TOO.............. plus her running off probably led him away so.. she saved us sorta.
ALL THAT TO SAY THAT I REALLY LIKE THE OLLIE REVEAL FOR REASONS FAR BEYOND A SIMPLE TWIST. him being ollie for over a decade raises many many questions, and suggests very dark things.
hes crazy and the fact he did a monologue means he knows he won. he wouldn't have spilled the beans otherwise...
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cooliofango · 8 months ago
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SEBASTIAN SOLACE FLUFF you walk into his shop looking like death, at first he acts snarky as usual, but he feels bad. you were never flashing him with flash beacons or pissing him off. he gives you a med kit for free, and lets you stay to rest. he lets you sleep cradled against his tail, and doesnt want to admit it but he enjoys it.
Not So Expendable
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Pairing: Sebastian Solace x GN!Reader
Word Count: 1.2k
Synopsis: Reader has had a bad run and needs to catch a break.
A/N: NERVOUS!!! 😂 I want this to be a good start to the Pressure fandom so I hope I did well! Thank you for requesting to help me get started! (And so quickly too!) I hope I’ve portrayed Sebastian well! If anyone who reads this has any positive constructive criticism feel free to share!
TW: Mention of injury, slightly graphic but nothing incredibly gory!
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The familiar sound of someone pulling themselves through the vents pulled Sebastian’s attention towards it, the soft light blue glow of his three eyes settling on the rather ragged figure of the expendable making their runs for today. They breathed heavily through parted lips, a bloodied hand returning to their side to return to applying pressure to the deep red soaked material of their suit-- the right side, he noted.
“Oh my!” A baiting tone left his lips, sharp, pearly white teeth visible as he smirked down at them. “Aren’t you a sight to see?” A deep chuckle filled the air that quickly began to fill with the thick smell of iron. He’s seen wounds similar to the ones this expendable had on numerous occasions. This early in the run, they usually stem from a very specific monster here in the Hadal Blacksite. “I thought you would be smart enough to avoid such simple trickery. They’re only Good People, after all.” The emphasis on the monster’s name was spoken condescendingly, humming in amusement at his own play of words.
There was no response from the expendable. Their hand only pressed more firmly on their wound, limping towards him without so much as a glance in his direction. They only seemed focused on the items draped along the length of his tail. Sebastian frowned in slight annoyance, an emotion that showed vibrantly in his tone, “Fine, fine! Straight to business are we? And here I thought we had something special.”
That line was said tauntingly, though his frown softened. The expendable before him was definitely different from the others he has come across- special is quite the stretch, though, no? The first time you came with a group was a memory that stood out to him in that moment of reminiscence. A large and rowdy group of eight came in to purchase what they wished, with a rather infuriating kid thinking it was a good idea to use the flash beacon right there in the room with him. The sudden bright light stung his eyes harshly. He was about to lash out at the kid, a hand raised to rub the stinging sensation away. But a certain expendable’s voice beat him to it.
“Come on! Is that really necessary? You’re wasting the uses on it anyways!”
While it wasn’t necessarily a direct defense for him, there have been many other occasions where you would put your little group in line whenever you went out as a team. Likewise, you would remain courteous when interacting with him when you would make runs alone as well- no matter how much he would try to tease and annoy you.
A slight tug against his tail brought him back to reality, watching as your face went from relief as you placed a hand on the medkit settled dead center of all of the wares he had up for offer, to a heavy sense of worry as your hand moved to grab the price tag set above it. “Something not to your liking?” Though his tone still held a bit of mockery, it waned into something a little softer.
The expendable quickly shrugged off their bag, struggling for a moment to pull the zipper open with their free hand before digging through its contents frantically. Their face grew paler as an empty flashlight and old keycards toppled out the sides of the open bag. A few files were tossed onto the ground, as well as a couple of DNA samples- but they weren’t even half of what the medkit cost.
Sebastian cringed at the sight, an unpleasant feeling bubbling in the pit of his stomach. Sympathy? His jaw locked in place at the thought. No way. Sympathy for an expendable who will only be sent back once again when they’re on the brink of death, only to be healed to be good as new for the sole purpose of doing all again until the people of UrbanShade were satisfied? Absolutely not, was what he decided. It was nothing more than a slightly sick sense of pity.
The expendable in question dropped onto the ground, seemingly too weak to keep themselves up anymore. Their chest rose and fell with each heavy and shaken breath they took, leaning against an empty spot on his tail.
God, they looked pathetic..
Sebastian scoffed irritably, that same awful feeling that started within the pit of his stomach now crawling up his spine. They looked pathetic. He ripped the medkit off of its hook, tossing it in the expendable’s direction. It clattered loudly when the plastic box made contact with the stone floors, only stopping when it had hit the expendable’s leg and bounced off of it, landing it a few inches away from them.
Tired eyes moved quickly to the box and then to him, leaving only a second to wonder before it was hastily scooped up into their hands. Their hands shook from how weak their body was, and their hands slipped from how bloodied they were- but they managed to open it with an audible pop. The gauze wrap was in their hands in mere minutes, struggling to unzip the scuba suit they wore in order to make their most life threatening wound more accessible.
It was then that Sebastian was able to get a clearer view of the wound you so desperately were trying to keep from draining the expendable completely of their energy. He’s unable to tell if the wound was as deep as it looked, or if the wound was just large, causing the blood loss to make it appear deeper than it really was. It was definitely way worse than the smaller cuts littering their arms- most of which have already healed on their own- as well as the large bruise on the left side of their jaw.
Relief caused Sebastian’s shoulders to relax momentarily, his shoulders dropping with each second he watched the expendable patch themselves up to the best of their abilities. He scoffed at himself upon realization. He shouldn’t be feeling that way towards an expendable. He shouldn’t have helped them to begin with! He keeps telling himself this. And yet, here the both of you are.
The gentle pressure against his tail pulled him from his thoughts once more. The expendable rested against his tail again, eyes fallen shut and breathing more evened out than before. They looked far more relaxed than they were mere moments ago. They appeared almost too relaxed.
“Hey, now! Who said you could get some shut eye?” He initially began to tease, moving his tail to start wrapping around the expendable’s body with the intent on lifting them up to wake them. But he stops himself. His tail is wrapped completely around them, but it hadn’t tightened enough to safely lift them up without the risk of dropping them. The relaxed state, in comparison to moments earlier, eased his nerves. Much to his own dismay. A feeling of defeat washed over him, sighing to himself in slight annoyance as he crossed two of his three arms across his chest.
“Very well..” His voice was soft as to not awaken them, watching over them carefully as the room rumbled with the passing of an Angler just outside the room.
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amazinglyashy · 7 months ago
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Hi hello!!! I saw tons of your work and I'm very impressed with your skill! If I may, may I request the LaDS Men with Reader who sometimes stare at kids who are having fun with their parents or spending time with each other because Reader doesn't have a good relationship with her family and felt envy to those kids who got to spend time with their parents.
I wanted to know how would they react and do! If my words are confusing, feel free to DM me! Thank you for your time!!
Everyone keeps yelling at me in the tags about me personally attacking them with some of my posts, yet YALL ARE ATTACKING ME WITH PROMPTS AS WELL, POT MEET KETTLE! Thank you so much for this prompt <3 I felt this one personally :'D So I had fun writing it!
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LaDS men when you get emotional in public seeing parents and their kids in public
Zayne -
It's… difficult for Zayne to watch.
He knew you when you were both younger, but old enough to know that what was happening to you was… not good. But still too young to do anything about it himself.
It hurts to see you look at families and know exactly what's going through your mind in that moment, but he does his best to quell his own emotions and keep them in check. You don't need to be worried or feeling any kind of guilt for making him feel hurt on your behalf. He wants you to express things in a way that'll help you, without being conscious about how he might be feeling.
Zayne stays quiet though. Sometimes it's good to get you away from the bad thoughts wracking through your mind, he knows that. But other times? You have to process it. You have to get through the painful and the ugly in order to start healing, and you have to do the fighting on your own. Inside your head, where he can't help you.
But out here?
He'll do anything for you.
Anything you ask, anywhere you want to go after you snap out of your envy and thoughts, you can consider it done.
He might not be able to help you- might not be able to stop those feelings of envy and sadness from even entering your mind before they make a home there, even if for a little while-
But he'll help you in any other way he can.
Sylus -
"The people closest to you might be the ones who want to kill you the most."
Sylus keeps so many tabs on you, even prior to your eventful meeting, that he knows good and well what the relationship with your family looks like. And there's more than one reason to why he said this to you, gun in your hand and legs straddling his lap. He may not believe they want to kill you, or may be he does depending on the circumstances, but what he does know is that you're safe with him regardless.
That doesn't solve the whole 'emotions' aspect of it, however.
He'll place a hand on the small of your back, ushering you forward. It's not that he doesn't want you to watch the family, it's just he can see the clouds forming in your eyes, and he'd rather you get emotional somewhere more private, for your own sake. He didn't need you feeling humiliated for getting misty-eyed in public on top of the already complex emotions you were already feeling.
Even if you're not close to tears, it's still better to him to get you away. He wants you to feel safe enough to do so, if your feelings bubbled up unexpectedly and you suddenly needed to cry, he wanted you to be somewhere you could.
And he knows you know you're already with someone you could cry around, as well.
Sometimes, he'll ask about it, just to allow you the space to vent. Oftentimes, he just keeps quiet, letting you process the thoughts going through your mind.
He's right there though, no matter what you may need.
Xavier -
"That looks good, would you like one too?" He'll ask, referencing the ice cream cone the kid is holding, knowing fully well why you're staring.
He has his own generous share of family and parental issues, so he knows how you feel. And after hearing some of your childhood memories, whether they were about your feelings or if he just gathered that information from in between the lines- he can relate to you well.
But... he'd rather not let you dwell too long, if he can help it.
The way he sees it, is you already spent a long time in pain. Years upon years of it, wondering if you would ever get the approval- love, care- from your family that was never going to come. Your own forever waiting and hoping and trying to make a relationship work that was always destined to fail, because the deciding factor on it's success or failure was not on you. It was never on you.
And he doesn't want you to waste more time feeling sorrow over something you've already dug a knife into your gut over, so many times already.
But if you need to- feel what you're feeling, be a little wistful, or even cry- he's here for you. He's here for you no matter what you need.
A shoulder to cry on, a big hug, a favorite movie on the couch later that still reminds you of a time where you chased after affections that were sadly never meant for you- but the happy parts that made you laugh alone in a room raised on a television-
He's got you.
Rafayel -
Rafayel's heard the stories.
Whether it's about your babied little sibling getting a bike after asking once when you spent years begging and saving to buy your own, being treated to the bare minimum of care by your parents, or something more insidious-
Rafayel has heard all of the stories from you by now.
So when he sees you looking abnormally long at a family, when nothing particularly funny is happening- the kid isn't saying something insane, the parents aren't trolling the kid, etc- and he sees your far-away expression, it's like he's pulled up a chair in the recesses of your mind to join you in your melancholy.
It's better than you suffering alone.
"Hey cutie. How's it going?"
He'll ask you after a while, having been with you the whole time, so he knows exactly how it's going. But his words are less out of concern for you and more to snap you out of the daze you're in. He doesn't mind if you feel sad, he's here for you no matter what, but he just doesn't want you to start and spiral.
He knows there's not really anything he can do. It's just a part of you now, the pain of the relationship you'll never get to have, that's nearly there but just an inch away from your fingertips every time you reach for it, no matter how much you try and strain yourself to grasp it. And he knows he can't exactly fill that hole.
But damn if he's not going to be with you throughout every bad thought, bad day, bad experience.
You're stuck with him, and he'll love you through it all.
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existence-is-a-pain87 · 24 days ago
Note
HIIII!!!
Idk if this is where you get your requests-
If it’s not, delete this and sorry!
Anyway! I wanna request for the Self-Aware Cosmo and Sprout! Or just one of the two! Maybe one or both could actually meet the reader?
I LOVE YOUR WRITING!!😭���❤️
Guys I have so many requests now. Don't get me wrong, I'm thrilled to have people want me to write more, but I'm a wee bit startled by all of this, lol.
So this one is gonna be a bit shorter, lol. (Don't worry I love fulfilling requests! Feel free to send in more!)
Anyways, here's a drabble on Sprout and Cosmo in the self-aware AU from They Hear You!
Friends You Never Knew
Yandere!Self-Aware!Sprout x Reader; Yandere!Self-Aware!Cosmo x Reader
Warnings: Obsession and other general yandere behaviors
--☆☆☆☆☆--
Both were skeptical of you at first. Especially Sprout.
After all, hearing a player speak was completely new. Sure they could see the dialogs sent in the chat, but they never heard anyone's voice.
And when you played as Cosmo? Sprout was not happy.
But then you kept being so happy to play as Cosmo, occasionally rambling about how you'd like to bake with him and Sprout sometime.
So you baked? Hm... maybe you weren't that bad.
And you seemed to adore Cosmo. You called him 'a cutie of a cake roll' and made that poor Toon turn beet red when you weren't looking at his face.
Cosmo didn't know if he could trust you. Especially when Sprout was initially so skeptical. But... he heard how loving you are.
Is it surprising he was the first to warm up to you?
To love you?
--☆☆☆--
Sprout was surprised at how easily he gave in to the urge to love you.
It was so sudden. He was in his Twisted form, skeptical of you even as Cosmo insisted on going onto this floor to show you a medkit as you played a Scraps who was accidentally brought to one heart.
He just wanted to make sure Cosmo would be fine.
But then he heard you crying. Letting out choked sobs as you vented to Scraps about the struggles wearing down on you.
You weren't venting to him, he knew that.
But it sure felt like you were.
And it was in his nature to be nurturing, was it not?
He'd be nurturing to you, helping you grow and eventually be able to move past these struggles with ease.
And so he loved you.
He loved you so much.
--☆☆☆--
It didn't take the two too long to finally accept you were going to be a regular occurrence.
And it didn't take long for them to start to like you.
You playing became a regular occurance. You talking became a regular occurance.
And boy, did they listen.
They listened to every word you said.
And when Vee learned a strange amount of information about you and figured out how to go elsewhere on Roblox? To leave the app and see everything else you fuss about with? And when she told the other Mains?
Sprout was quick to tell Cosmo, and the two left the app.
And promptly read your search history.
They didn't know that wasn't a normal thing to do. If Vee was able to access your phone's microphone to hear and learn more about you, what's the harm in seeing the things you searched up?
They mostly focused on the recipes you searched up. And asked Vee what your favorite food was.
If Dandy was going to actually follow through on his plan...
They learnt how to make you favorite food. And your second favorite food. And your third. And they kept learning how to make foods you liked. Foods you loved.
The way to the heart is through the stomach, is it not?
Cosmo was worried you wouldn't like them. Sprout opted to disagree.
You already spoke of them highly. Why would you suddenly hate them?
You would never hate them, right?
They thought of you as their friends.
You were their friend, yes?
And they loved you.
So, of course, you loved them too!
They're the friends you never knew you had.
They love you.
<3
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thecloudsaremyhome · 3 months ago
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✧Yandere platonic omega emperor x teen beta reader✧
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Summary: you’ve always have been having to look out for yourself no parents to comfort you or protect you no pack to vent to and to feel loved it’s always been just you. Well until you accidentally decided to pick up a job to steel from the feared emperor of your nation that is. How did you end up like this?
Tw: mentions of neglect and abuse, bad parenting and abandonment, yandere behavior and kidnapping and nesting, forced infantization.
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You've always been alone. Even when you were living with your parents they never treated you like their kid. They where never the best parents but it could've been worse, that's what you've had to constantly tell yourself.
Growing up as a beta in this society was never easy either, you have to constantly prove yourself to everyone is has never been easy to be a beta while alphas and Omega's are looked at very highly
betas are at the bottom of th food chain constantly have to fight for survival an proving themselves to people who just don't give two shits unless your a noble and a alpha or Omega people just don't care.
Half of the commoner Population is betas yet your still looked down upon by everyone for being a beta for not having Omega or alpha traits.
It's sad really I guess your whole existence in this world is to be a disappointment at least that's what your parents used.
To say they were very greedy people guess that's maybe why they sold you off to a strange to make some extra cash because they have no need for you which hurts really badly, you remember it like it was yesterday.
“Mama! Papa! Please don't leave me with them please! Come back!”
You struggle against the grip holding you back from running to your parents who are casually walking away not even sparing you a second glance as Your taken away against your will.
They didn't even seem to care for your cries for help as you put into a large carriage restrained as the people who bought you start the carriage but just before they could ride away your break free From your restraints frantically as you make Break for it out into the open streets away from the dark alleyway you were just as you run down the streets frantically trying to Lose your captors.
But before they could get any closer to your running form your captors accidentally knock over an alpha noble which results in your captors getting scolded, thankfully you managed to get away from them and loose them.
That memory till this day makes you shiver will anxiety. You've always been on edge especially years after that incident hoping they won't find you again.
Even after you were able to escape from your captors you were never able to find your parents it's like they took the chance after they sold you to flee the Capitol you grew up it.
Pathetic well you honestly wouldn't especially anything else from them they where drug addicts and gamblers but still they were your parents and the only family you had.
You didn't have any other family members or pack members well you didn't really have a Pack at all your parents were too conservative and disapproved of the thought which made you feel even more lonely than you already were.
But over time you didn't have to worry about them because they aren't here right now and you have to do everything you can to survive or try to at least.
That's why you resorted to stealing, sadly many jobs accept a 14 year old especially a inexperienced beta at that so you had to resort to stealing to survive,
you removed when you first stole from a shop vender at a market in the more busy parts of the Capitol it felt Exilirating having the wind in you hair an the adrenaline pumping in you veins as guards chance after you.
It felt amazing, so you started to steel more valuable objects for you and some neighbors you live with who can't afford much.
It felt nice helping the people you care about because they are all that you have besides yourself that is.
That was until a Strange man approached you one day while you carried your bah full of stolen gold and food you froze in your tracks as you inspected him caustiously.
He then introduces himself as Ethel a noble man from the South part of the Capitol
he proposed a propersition for you to steal the emperor's crown in exchange for a fortune of gold that you thought could last you a life time.
and it could help the people in your building so you excitedly agree to the offer unknowing of the dangers ahead that will cost you your freedom.
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You got this you think to yourself as. You. Anxiously look in the dusty mirror glancing back at yourself. This should be pretty easy right?
And he offered you a fortune to do it so you can't really turn it down now. But what if they catch you? What if they execute you?
The emperor has known to be ruthless every since he killed the previous emperor and empress he has been know to rule with a iron fist and him being an Omega, is even more of a surprise to a lot of people but.
That doesn't make him any less deadly. Snap out of it (name) we don't need to focus on the what ifs just sneak in and sneak out right? Easy?
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This is far from easy once you sneakily entered the palace grounds near the entrance.
It was littered with guards stationed from left to right. Luckily Ethel gave you a map of the palace layout.
You didn't want to ask him where he got it nor did you want to know. You sigh in relief as you were able to avoid the first set of guards near the palace garden.
It looks like they are about to switch shifts soon, a perfect chance to sneak in.
You examine the guards placed at the front entrance of the palace. You can’t go through the front that would be to risky. What if you just climbed up? Yeah that could work you could climb uo the palace walls and use your grappling hook!
Then you could break through one of the palace windows and head straight for the royal fault! Perfect plan! But their is a problem their also must be guards, guarding the vault so you’ll have to knock them out which won’t be easy on your part but it’s better to at least try than do nothing.
So with your plan set in motion you grab your grappling hook from your back pack and swing it up towards one of the windows making sure it’s hooked on and steady you start to slowly climb up making sure to make a lookout for any gaurds passing bye just in case.
You grunt in exhaustion as you finally make it up to the windows edge. You grab a screw drider and try to open the window from the other side thankfully it works.
it’s better than breaking the window because you’ve tried that before with a previous robbery and it did not turn out so good so you’ve learned to use the screwdriver for fear rain windows to unlock.
You carefully jump down from the window onto the marble floor taking notice of the surroundings.
Luckily for you it looks like you broke into one of the many spare bedrooms in the large palace. With a large king size bed with a golden headboard and a very soft carpet.
Wow is this what it feels and looks like to be living in royalty. You’d admit you're very jealous but not time to ponder right now you have a mission to complete!
So you exit the spare bedroom and quietly make your way down the hallway making sure to avoid any passing servants or guards patrolling the area.
You sigh as you luckily was able to hide behind a curtain as another passing gaurds walk past you, you grab the map Ethel has gave you as you scan it trying to double check if you are even remotely close to the royal vault, sadly you aren’t.
You don’t even know how the heck Ethel got this map and you don’t want to know when or how it’s really none of your business you're just here to get the job done and that’s all.
Sadly the royal vault is on the other side or the castle which is heavily guarded and you also have to pass the emperor's chambers which is also heavily guarded! Great! So fucking great. You are totally not going to make it out alive.
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You rush through the hallways trying to be as stealthy as possible. You finally made it to the other side of the palace havung accidentally allerted the gaurds when you passed the emperors chambers.
you have to do this quick and fucking fast before they alert the emperor and their is a whole fucking search party to capture you.
You pant as you finally make it down an empty hallway as guards rush past you.
You sigh in relief as you take another glance at your map, you just have to pass this hallway then you’ll be the at the royal vault. Hopefully no one will be guarding it since your little mistake.
Thankfully for just your luck no one was guarding it which causes you to use you Bobby pin to pick lock the huge lock on the door. Finally you get the door open but you accidentally trip a wire which sounds off an alarm.
you jump in suprise fearful of your outcome as you quickly grab the crown and rush out the door only for it to be blocked off by gaurd surrounding you blocking your path towards the door. You whimper in fear as you try to hide the crown you stolen. The gaurds glare deadly at you.
Finally the captain of the gaurds a tall and imposing alpha with dark brown hair flowing down his back and a tall structure. He steps forward glaring deadly at you. “What exactly is going on here?”
He states as another more nervous gaurd then says “we caught this beta here tripping the alarm to the vault and stealing the crown captain we already alerted his highness.”
“I see. Apprehend them now and hold them down we need to secure the crown.” The guards nod in approved and pin you down taking away your bag with your supplies and the crown.
You try to fight against their hold but to no use you fail to get them off of you. You feel tears streaming down your face. This is it isant it? Your going to either be executed or rot in jail for the rest of your life?
Just for some fucking stupid fortune you should’ve never taken up this job. Maybe you are a failure like your parents use to tell you.
Unbeknownst to you your upset pheromones reach Eugene the omega emperor he quickly enters the royal vault with two guards standing behind him he takes a look at the situation at hand and his eyes soften. “What exactly is going on here?”
The emperors imposing voice breaks you out of your crying fit as you look up at him in awe at his beauty from his talk muscular built to his long dark black hair to his violet sharp eyes that can represent the stars themselves.
He looks down at you as he speaks eyes soften just a bit as you look at him in suprise. The captain of the guards then speaks
“our guards caught this young beta tripping the wire and stealing the crown your majesty. What shall we do? Shall we execute them or throw them in the dungeon?”
Eugene looks down at you softly, how could anyone hurt someone so precious your scent gives off a sour taste but smells like fresh baby pounder and cherrys.
Oh you look like a baby in his eyes so precious and small he just has to keep you.
“No.” He states firmly glaring at the guards holding you down
“bring then to my chambers in one peace if I see any scratches or bruises on them your heads will be off do you understand?”
The guards nervously shake their heads “yes your majesty!”
The captain of the guards looks at the emperor in shock but shakes his head dismissively. Eugene exits the room swiftly leaving you alone with the gaurds.
You stare in shock at the scene that just occurred.
You can feel your anxiety rising, oh fuck your going to die aren’t you he’s going to kill you himself and there's nothing you can do about it.
You cry frantically trying to get out of the guards grips frantically, you can’t die! No you can’t! You have to get out of here.
Your fight or flight kicks in and you start to slowly have a panic attack as you're crying. You don’t even notice the sterilizer being injected into you before it is too late.
You fall limp on the ground as your struggles cease, you pass out in the arms of one of the guards you vision going black as you finally pass out.
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You groggily wake up to the feeling of a soft mattress under you, and a soft pillow-like feeling surrounding you.
Your bed has never been this soft before, wait this isn't your bed. You slowly open your eyes looking around as you take notice of the sunlight peeking through the extravagant window.
You quickly sof uo looking anxiously around the room as you notice you're in a king size bed with pillows and blankets surrounding you to form a nest like structure.
You start to panic trying to get up and out of the nest. But before you can exit the bed a strong force pushes you back down you look up to see the emperor holding you down.
“Shhh it’s okay pup lay back down I know your very sleepy don’t worry daddy will take care of you.” He coos at you looking at you with an obsessive glint in his eyes, you struggle trying to get out of his hold.
but he shushes you as you whine lifting you up into his lap as he lightly brushes his calloused hands through your hair, trying to release calming pheromones to calm down your panicked state
which unfortunate for you it works causing you to unwillingly relax against his hold, which causes him to coo at you.
“it’s okay baby you’ll be okay daddy’s here to take care of you now and forever.” What exactly have you done…can you even make it out? You don’t know but you don’t want to find out…
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Authors note: hey y’all I hope you like this one shot I hope its to your liking I tried to make it as long as I could I kinda lost motivation at the end but I wanted to at least give you guys something I’ll defiantly make a part 2!
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darlingdaisyfarm · 4 months ago
Note
You know I've been meaning to ask.. is everything okay? I mean your pfp is blank. I understand you're uploading, but I also want to make sure you're okay
idk if i have some mental connection with you, anon, because how else i can explain that you sent this ask right when i felt so bad??? but yeah i should really put a pfp, i just can’t choose the right pic and at same time im lazy….
honestly i promised myself i wouldn’t vent online and irl because i don’t wanna be annoying or be the kind of person people get tired of. but i guess i just feel emotional rn sorry again
well 2025 kinda kicked me in the face already LMAO, it already reminded me that some people will always pick someone else and some things are just not meant to be yours. i just got reminded once again that i’m super replaceable to person i really loved and cared about. so now im realising that i was just there to pass the time until they found smth better, someone better. and they did, they did and that’s just unfair for me, i literally loved this person for 10 years and that's how i ended up
not exactly the fresh start i was hoping for lol
been feeling like a ghost in my own life lately so i guess i made this blog to just be somewhere, to talk to people, to share things i love, to feel like i exist in some small way. to find friends? idk. sometimes i wonder if i’m just taking up space here, but deleting this blog feels dramatic so whatever. although i thought bout this a lot and still think about it, but i guess im just being... yeah, dramatic, i mean i am, ive been told. so, i don't know, deleting feels rude ? and i don’t wanna be rude, i hate being rude :( i still hesitate every time i post though. and i don’t want to be that person who craves reassurance but damn, it gets lonely and im embarrassed to even say that rn
+ last year drained me so much that i couldn’t even start anything for a whole month. its about my work, i just felt stuck, exhausted before i even tried. things are getting better now with my work, though. it’s actually tied to people and honestly, i love that?? i mean, i love people very much. in general. so whenever i meet someone kind or understanding in my work, it lifts my mood
but when it comes to writing or fics, i feel like i’m always fighting myself. actually i enjoy writing, ive been writing since… 14? 13? so i try, i push through, but nothing ever feels right lately. i don’t know if it’s just a phase or if this is how it’s always going to be. why i always feel like i could’ve done better or that maybe i shouldn’t have posted at all
anyways….. i don’t usually post stuff like this. i really don’t want to be like this, i hate sounding so negative, i really do. i promised myself i wouldn’t. i usually just keep things to myself, but you seemed like you genuinely cared, sweetheart and i figured i might as well be honest, i appreciate your worry! thank u sm angel! ♡
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ryusuisloveinterest · 1 year ago
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henloo ‼️ how has everything been lately? i hope you're alright and having a nice day/night <3
can i make a request for Ryusui, Sai, Ukyo and Tsukasa with a dyslexic s/o reader? nothing too fancy, just them being comforting because it is actually a very frustrating condition most of the time, haha
that would be it, tysm 🫶
hi anon (you’re now 🐳 anon)! I tried my best because I’m not that familiar with what people with dyslexia go through so if anything so insensitive or offensive I’m sorry and please let me know🙏 I hope you like it💗
Ryusui, Sai, Ukyo, & Tsukasa with a dyslexic s/o🫶
Ryusui:
I don’t see Ryusui really noticing at first lol. If anyone were to ask him if you have dyslexia he’d probably just shrug and be all like “idk but who cares?”
When he sees the red on your face when he points out you’re sentence is missing some words he feels so bad
“Love I didn’t mean to offend you! I’m so sorry I just want you to make a good grade that’s all!”
“I know Ryusui… it’s just so hard dealing with this…”
“With what?”
“Ryusui you know I’m dyslexic right? Ryusui?”
Immediately goes to Senku💀
He wants to know how he can help you
If you want a professional to help with your words and/or writing than bet Ryusui will have like 10 of the best at your doorstep in 10 minutes 
If you just wanted some encouragement than Ryusui’s got plenty of it!
“Hey love it’s alright. Take your time I’ll be here to listen.”
He’s always here for you to vent and to listen no matter what
Sai:
Sai is more likely to catch on, but doesn’t want to say anything because he’s worried he’ll offend you if he’s wrong
He does bring it up though when he sees you having a hard time reading a menu at a restaurant 
“Darling do you want me to read it for you?”
With a blush you nod, that’s all he needs to know
He has no problem helping you 
He makes sure that if you spelt something wrong or need help reading something to whisper it so you’re not embarrassed 
If you ever get frustrated he’s definitely someone to go to. He’s not good with words but while hold you and let you vent
Ukyo: 
He heard you mumbling to yourself when he found out 
“Damn this stupid dyslexia…”
He never brought it up to you but definitely helped a lot
When he talks to you he always waits with a smile for your response 
“Sorry Ukyo, it just takes some time for me to find my words…”
“Hey don’t ever be sorry! Take all the time you need.”
If you ever misspell something he’ll either whisper it to tell you and give you a small sign like gently tapping your shoulder or motioning his head towards the word
He wants to help you in anyway you can, so if you wanna read to him to help yourself then he’s gonna listen
If you wanna write him little notes he’ll read them and identify any changes if needed
“Take deep breaths baby, we’ll get through this together!”
Tsukasa:
He found out when you went to one of his matches
You help a sign that read I love you Tuskasa!! 
He didn’t say anything to you after the match, but Mirai did 😀 kids are so bold I swear
“Big sis that’s not how you spell Tsukasa’s name!”
Your face immediately reddens as you look at the sign again. You didn’t recognize it at first but after slowly reading it you found the issue
“O-oh…my bad. I didn’t mean to-“
“It’s alright princess. No harm done, in fact I love the sign.”
After that Tsukasa asked you about it and told you Mirai didn’t mean any harm in what she said 
“It’s alright my prince, I’m just embarrassed. The whole arena saw that stupid sign.”
“Hey I told you I love it so don’t talk bad about it!”
His next match it was hanging on his side of the ring❤️
He’ll help you in anyway he can 
He also talks to Mirai so she understands of course she gives you a big hug and apologizes
God forbid someone else gives you crap for it cause he’ll knock them straight out without hesitation 
Random dude: “you spelt this wrong. What’re you a kindergartn-“
Tsukasa smacks the shit outta him know he’s knocked out
“Come on y/n let’s go.”
No one messes with his girl
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ariathelamia · 8 months ago
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Hellhound HRT - Day -???
Little note at the start: Hellhound HRT is being written by Arynia, who is a alter... the only alter in this system ^^ Since she is unable to front so far, we decided to have her write the story~ well she tells me what to write and i do that~ Don't worry, Lamia HRT is going to continue! It's just a bit of a drawing rut on my end^^..
Thank you @dawning-mars for the cameo and help writing this~ it was a lot of fun working with you!! Anyway~ on to the story!!
“That FUCKING asshole!” 
I shout while kicking the empty can of soda down the alleyway, hitting a trash can and accidentally spooking the Racoon that was currently inside of it away..
I just happened to leave the clinic of this gigantic egotistical asshole doctor Erian, my tail all the way along my back and fur all over the place. Shit, getting ahead of myself here.
‘Sup, Names Arynia, but people just call me Nia. I’ve been on Wolf HRT for a while… probably what.. 4 to 5 months now? Well let me just paint a picture. Think about an average height punk girl, with a body mostly covered in a mix of orange and gray fur… Got a nice long undercut for hair, and an otherwise still pretty human face, if you discount the slight elongation that would become my snout one day.  Got me a pretty neat tail though! Doctor was quite surprised when he saw it, usually they don’t get that tall so quickly? I guess I lucked out on that one. Legs are still humanoid though… no signs of paws yet… they do ache a little but i guess i traded the Tail growth for the leg restructuring.. Well none of this matters now cause that fucker just cut me off the meds anyway because i accidentally let slip that “being a normal wolf might not be as fulfilling as i thought… that i wanted something a little… extra.”... Guess that was enough for that idiot asshole bastard to say “If you are not happy with the current progress then continuing from here on out won’t be in your best interest.” And something about coming back when i know what i actually want and if this is the right thing and- URGH!! I should have kept my mouth shut but that's just not my style… 
Anyway back to the here and now. Feeling kinda bad for the Racoon… well can’t say sorry now that it’s gone. But what the fuck do i do now? Well first things first, checking the messages… Lot’s o’ new people sending in their first dosage posts… pretty neat. Some new faces joined the support group-... ah shit gotta make the news that i probably gotta leave now.. since i don’t really have an ongoing prescription anymore… ACTUALLY- maybe someone has an idea what to do… yeah thats a better outlook, after all that asshole Theodore isn’t the only doc around. 
I ended up sending a lengthy text in the vent section about my situation.. At first people sent some pleasantries but then also some neat ideas on where to go. I did mention my wish for something more… extravagant and low and behold, someone heard of a library in Hypercity that I should check out. Something about a Mysterious worker there that spooked some customers away with her… “monstry aura”? Sounds neat. Just gotta find the place.
Good thing the Maps app on the phone works in Hyper City.. otherwise this place would become a maze… It’s been neat just exploring new areas though, seeing all kinds of people on different stages in their HRT. Cats… Bats… a freaking DRAGON… pretty sure saw some cyborg too but not sure if that’s HRT or just them wearing prosthetics.. either way looked pretty neat. Ever since this stuff hit the market, and more people managed to grab the formula and distribute it, new kinda therians pop out by the day. Good thing I got a spot in that support group when they still had any. Although things do be a bit hectic in the chats.. but that’s alright. Anything major and important is learned in the group sessions anyway.
After another half an hour of walking and listening to the instructions on my phone, I finally made it to the library…  Pretty normal looking place from the outside if you think about the worker here that everyone is making mysteries of is apparently supposed to be some kinda… space monster.. though the descriptions do shift from mention to mention. Anyway I decided it’s enough waiting around… time to go in.
The SECOND I stepped into the lobby, my instincts fired alarm signals. I don’t know how to interpret that but god damn, my fur was standing upright and my ears clenched backwards. What the fuck is going on? Despite my body telling me to run, I go forward… this wolf ain’t no quitter i tell you that! My hand slowly reaches for the bell at the reception, after three deep breaths I finally manage to ring it. The body is making one last attempt to try to make me run away, now that I have given away my position to whatever predator it was so afraid of. But I won't. I gotta know what the hell this place is about now.
As the bell rings, the library quickly goes cold. The lights seem to be weaker, trying to fight against a layer of darkness that wasn’t present before the ring. The air is heavy and the sounds of footsteps can be heard from book stacks. Through the Darkness emit 5 bright eyes, their pinkish purple hues fluctuate and pulse. 
“Hello Deary, Welcome to the Thayer Library. My name is Mars, how can I help you?” 
Her voice vibrates with an unnatural distortion. Emerging into view is a 7 foot tall creature. Her skin is an unsaturated purple that resembles that of a shark's skin. She wears a black 50’s style dress with a ribbon tied at her waist. A large black sun hat covers a portion of her feature lacking face.
Quite the contrast in style compared to my black tank top, skinny jeans with ripped sides and black and white sneakers…
Mars passes me, walking back to the front desk. She looks down and gives me a monstrously happy grin. 
I take a moment to take in this surreal sight… I’ve seen my fair share of therians and otherkin before… Hell, one of my friends is a freakin’ Lamia… but THIS?! This is something entirely different. Feel like I just got transported into a whole different world, even though my actual position did not change…
“Uhm- name’s Arynia.. I was told this place could help me out with a predicament I found myself in. You see i uh-... just got cut off from my HRT for wanting something more… “Special” than a normal wolf and uh-... yeah-... here I am. Is there anyone you can introduce me to? Or how does this work?...” 
I stop myself from just babbling on and wait with baited breath for the answer of Mars. Trying to figure out WHAT kind of otherkin she is…
“Hm, what exactly do you mean by ‘special’?” She asked, looking me over and giving an inquisitive glare. She didn’t have pupils to track, but the way her brows shifted and glared. I felt myself being scrutinized, like I was being dissected. I struggled to find the words, the eye on her forehead looked deeper than the rest. It’s unblinking resolve pierces through me to my very being. I felt afraid, angered, lost. She must’ve noticed how I felt as she reached to the lid of her hat and pulled it down to cover the fifth eye.
I looked at her with an unsure expression… What DID i mean by that? God, his words about being not sure what I even wanted came back to my head… I didn’t want to be just a wolf… although being a Wolf isn’t bad I just needed something more… “... demonic…”
I suddenly said quietly.. my own thoughts bubbling out of my mouth involuntarily.
“Not… like a demon-demon but like… I don't know… a Demon Wolf? Fur that is almost like smoke but also… solid? ... heat that burns in my chest…
That kinda special…”
Mars' expression changes and sits down at her computer. As her attention turned to the screen I felt a weight ease off me. I nervously watched as the being before me tapped away on her computer. As she typed up something she looked up.
“I think I understand” 
Mars says, not looking up from the computer screen.
“There are ways to be… ethereal, cosmic, existing both in the mortal realm and the outer realms. Technically speaking, what you’re asking fits the description of the Abrahamic Hellhound. But I feel that’s not what you're looking for. It’s hard to explain the unexplainable… trust me..”
Mars hits the enter button as she looks back up at me. A kinder smile on her face as she looked for my response. The pressure of her presence once more weighed down on me as I stumbled to respond.
I scratch the back of my head and nod. 
“Y-yeah. Kinda hard to find something that describes the kind of thing I am looking for. A Hellhound sounds not bad, maybe some kinda different version! Maybe something with a bit more… fur hehe.. I guess you would know what it’s like. I don’t want to sound mean but I have never seen anything like you either.”
“Well my transition is a bit… different than the rest.. it’s hard to explain and it’s harder to understand. Frankly I’m still trying to figure out what I am and what’s going on…”
I notice her grab something from behind their desk. She looks down as I hear her scribble something out before standing up once more.
“I think I have something of interest to you, within the archives we have a selection of old reproductions from the Library of Alexandria. It was there where I found a way to become what I am. I believe I know something in the vault that might help you”.
She walked past me, her back appendages stretching outward and then falling back to a rest state. Her tail sways as she walks past the stacks and to a glass door saying ‘Employees Only’.
“Stay here and I’ll have the item brought down for you, feel free to look around while I’m gone.”
It was then that I first noticed how freaking exhausted I was from all the tension that was constantly in my body. I slumped against the desk and felt like I could breathe normally for the first time in my life, even when I didn't notice me breathing abnormally before. This entire situation is beginning to make me feel… somewhat… no… not somewhat.. REALLY excited! When I first started my transition into a Wolf, I felt a slight excitement with it.. not nearly as strong as it is now.  I was sure, this is it! I am at the right place, whatever comes next is what I really wanted!! 
I didn’t start looking around, my feet were almost stuck to the ground, my body still somewhat on edge. My fur definitely needed a brush now with how much it keeps shifting from the adrenaline that keeps shooting through my body in waves. I can’t wait to see what Mars is going to bring back from that employee section… figures that the good stuff is being held back from the general public but hey, who am i to complain. It’s not like the things are not being used for others outside of the employees, guess there is a genuine reason.. if it is able to “produce” beings like Mars, maybe that’s for the better to keep it somewhat detained.
There’s a ding from behind the door and the sound of something rolling. As the employee door unlocks Mars steps out, pushing along a small cart. The second she’s within eyesight I feel her presence once more as I find myself frozen with anxiety. 
“Here we are, the Alexandria Chronicles.”
She says with a pleased chirp. She sets the book between two angled pieces of foam. She gently flips through the pages, being extra careful with her sharpened talons. She settles on a page with incantation circles and text written in some ancient language. She moves her head and runs her claw along the text before turning back to me.
“Arynia, what I have here is a book that contains the remnants of the Library to Alexandria. Within these pages contain the history of the old gods, the ones who continue to influence us in secret. If you want to be like me, you will be made aware of these old ones. You will endure immeasurable pain and psychosis. I say this not to scare you, but to warn you.. to prepare you..”
Mars ushers me forward with her hand. I feel myself walk towards her, but not on my own volition. I approach the book, seeing the inscriptions up close and find the page overwhelming with information. 
“Do you have any questions?”
I take a long look at the writing. Nothing I could ever understand… but still i feel the weight of Mars’s words on my entire body. “I was ready for the pain of the HRT. I saw how much it weighed down on people I care about so that point I am sure is not going to hold me back. As for these old ones…” I took a determined look at Mars, as much as I felt afraid when simply in her presence… There was also the resolve to continue.
“I guess my only question would be when we can start. I can worry about the rest later. Right now my heart tells me that this is the right thing for me.”
Mars smiles and gestures back to the book, her clawed finger gently pointing at a scribble written in the margins. The blurb appears to be an old attempt at translating the chant. The combination of consonants and vowels made it difficult to read. 
“If you need assistance, never be shy to reach out. With that said, let’s begin”.
I nod, but then raise an eyebrow. “So-  I just read out the stuff written on the page?”
“We’ll need to set up a ritual circle, but try reciting this till you feel confident. I’ll get the circle set up.”
Mars steps back and walks to the front door. I hear the latching of the front doors and her footsteps walking to the front desk. I turn my attention back to the few lines of translated text. I reread the text a few times working on the exotic letter combinations. Once confident I try saying it out loud in a hush tone. Tripping over a few words but finding it not as difficult as I initially thought. 
Would have never thought I would end up in a library, practicing ancient texts in order to get some medicine that turns me into a hellhound! Not to mention this being connected to eldritch gods? Wonder if i should give this maybe some more thought… but then again.. it’s this or going to that asshole Erian and beg him to put me back on the hrt… yeah no this is definitely the better option. 
I ended up practicing for, what felt like an hour, managing to no longer stumble over the words. I pick up the book, still mumbling the text while walking to where Mars is probably either still setting up, or is waiting for me. 
I reached a clearing and found a large summoning circle matching the one from the book. Another circle filled the center as well as a ring of the ancient language. She smiled at me as she stood and handed me a candle. 
“Set this where you like and light it. Once that’s done we’ll be ready”.
I nodded and turned away as I was handed a candle and a match. My mind raced with thoughts and feelings. I couldn’t stop contemplating if this was the right choice. If this would truly make me a hellhound. I felt drawn to a certain part of the circle and placed the candle. As I lit it I felt the air shift, my breath could be seen and as I turned back Mars sat just outside the circle with the book. She ushered me forward and like earlier I felt myself moving at her command. I kneeled next to her and looked at the book, sweat racing down my cheek as Mars placed a hand on my shoulder.
“It’s ok hun, I’ll be here to help you”.
I felt comforted by that and gave a gentle smile. I turned down to the book, nervously grabbing the edges and looking back at the translation. I grew worried that I would mess this up, that I flub the pronunciation. I felt like I was drowning and gasped for the biggest breath I’ve ever taken. And then, I began reading.
“Ph’nglui Mglw’nafh Cthulhu R’lyeh.. Wgah’nagl fhta-“
I felt a pit in my stomach, the last syllable seemed impossible to say, the ease and confidence was gone. Now I fought against some external force to finish the words.
“FHTAGN!!!!”
Then there was a flash, my eyes began to tear up as I felt a rush of surging energy. The circle illuminated, the ground shook, I felt my face being pulled in all directions. I wanted to shut my eyes but I couldn’t. I couldn’t do anything but witness waves of images and voices. My vision began to split, I could see more than just the library. I could see pillars, a cracking moon, a hall draped with yellow banners. These images flooded my mind and soul and then nothing. I was floating in a vast void, I felt a moment of ease before the realm began splitting, an eye larger than anything I’ve ever witnessed glared at me… through me? I tried avoiding its gaze, but I wasn't able to… I tried to speak up but my instincts clenched my mouth shut. 
I felt another rush as I was pulled away and then, finally, I blinked. My eyes celebrated the release of the tension as they began to refocus. I felt control regain in my mind and arms as I reached up and wiped the tears. I took a moment to recover, my mind still reeling from what I witnessed.
“Harsh, isn’t it?”
I turned to see Mars who looked relieved. She smiled and placed a hand on my shoulder. 
“You seemed to handle that very well. It’s something to have every sense we have to be overwhelmed. It’s crippling, and when we have that control it feels so foreign..”
Mars reached for the now closed book and took it in her arms. She cradled it like a child and stood up and offered me a hand. I wasn’t sure I could stand yet, my legs felt like they were still trembling. I could tell Mars read my expression as she pulled her hand away. 
“Sorry, why don’t you relax a bit while I get this all cleaned up.”
I nod to the best of my ability. Still trying to come to terms with what just happened. My eyes went from Mars towards the ground as my mind tried to make sure that I was back on earth… and not in whatever place I was before… It is at this very moment I start to realize what I just signed myself up for. And the fact settles in that this is not going to be the last time my very foundation of reality is going to be shaken. I look up at Mars one more time.
“Di-” I cough.. damn spit must have gotten in my throat at some point…
“Did it work?”
Mars turns her attention to the center of the circle and sees a small orange bottle. And smiles and turns back to me and nods.
“It did, welcome to family”
I looked back to the center of the circle when Mars did, turning back shortly after with a smile. 
“Thanks~ I guess I’ll be visiting this place more often now~” 
I slowly stand up, my legs still shaking from the ordeal and pick up that small orange pill bottle. It has my name on it… hades-lupusitine… bit on the nose name but hey, ain’t gonna complain as long as it does the job. The name of the prescribing doc was left blank though… then again that makes sense… don’t think you can fit whatever that eyeball's name was on the small tag of a pill bottle… IF that was the one that heard my call from the ritual… 1-0-1… so guess two of them a day… mornings and evenings huh?
I turn back to Mars with a smile as big as I can manage, and a wagging tail swishing behind me.. 
“Thank you so goddamn much for all of this Mars!” She smiled back at me. No more words needed to be spoken… not that I was really able to speak much after that mental strain anyway.. She kindly walked me out of the Library after putting the book back where it was safe. We waved each other goodbye, promising to stay in touch. I took my walk home, caressing the small pill bottle in my Jeans pocket and just itching to take the first pill in the evening. I just hope the next cosmic horrors at least knock first…  
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Definitely check out Mars's Eldritch HRT series!!
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