#I even tried to keep myself short!

[im-the-queen-of-stardust]

Long ramble about Vax and that ending of season three under the cut because it kept getting longer and longer. (Spoilers for the end of the campaign!!)

The Matron of Ravens didn't kill Vax. None of Vax decisions led him to dying (well except like joining Vox Machina in the fight obviously). Vecna kill Vax. Vecna disintegrated Vax. The fact that it hit him, that he was the one to go down and not any of the others, was a cruel twist of irony. Of all the people in the party the champion of the Godess of Death was the one to die. So perfectly tragic that you think it must've been planned but it wasn't. That is the true tragedy of Vax's story. He didn't loose his life the moment he offered it to the Matron in exchange for his sister. That was never part of the bargain he struck that day even though he definitely was willing to do that. But that's not what happened. He became her champion instead. And he found purpose in that. And it was a beautiful and complicated relationship between them. One that wouldn't have stood against him leading a long and happy life if it wasn't for Vecna cutting it short.

I understand the standpoint of Keyleth who still after all these years makes it sound as if the Matron took him away. Because she's angry and grieving and she had the power to bring him back. But regardless of that Vax struck a deal - another one - before she could do that. And this time it was a bargain to return and help his family before joining her once again. And Vax wouldn't have wanted it another way.

And let's not forget, he's died before and came back. You can bend the strands of fate but True Resurrection, which is what he'd have needed to come back with his body being nothing but ash, is a step too far. That's playing with powers beyond what the Matron accepts in her weave. And of course you can argue about what does her opinion matter, if the power is there why shouldn't have Keyleth used it? Well because Vax believed in it too. As much as I love that whole part with Scanlan's Wish he had saved for Vax, I think it would be been tremendously difficult to find a way for Vax to stay, that he and the Raven Queen would've been okay with. Like a simple "release him from the Matron" wouldn't have cut it because he wouldn't have wanted to be free of her. He went willingly. Yes he went with tears in his eyes, but it was still his choice. It was his belief that his time was over. Because he'd died. Vecna killed him. And if his friends weren't insanely powerful nothing could've changed that.

All this is to say that I'm not sure what to think of that whole "consequence" of bringing back Percy in the last episode. I don't wanna jump to conclusions. Especially since I trust these people, I trust Liam with his own character that means a lot to him. But while Vax dying as a consequence of going against the Matron's will and bringing back Percy is a compelling storyline by itself, it is fundamentally different from what happened in the stream and takes away from the tragedy of Vax. It is still a tragic narrative but in a very different way. And I dislike that it plays into making it the Matron's fault which is a misreading of what actually happened in the stream.

[grimmweepers]

˚˖𓍢ִ໋🦢˚ 𝓻𝔂𝓾𝓱𝓪𝓲𝓽𝓱𝓪𝓶

there was an ache in my heart when i awoke in a strange, beautiful world that wasn’t my own. even as months turned to years, i still missed the familiar skies, the voice of loved ones and the home i had left behind. i wrote letters that went nowhere and whispered silent prayers that reached no one. it was like i was plucked from my own reality and placed in a world where i didn’t quite belong.

yet, as much as i longed for home, i was determined to learn in this new life. sumeru became my sanctuary and the akademiya, my solace. i learned their languages, customs, and secrets while sharing stories of the stars, landmarks, and beauty of my own world. the scholars listened, fascinated by the similarities and differences, but none more than al-haitham—a student assigned to guide me through this foreign land. he was a quiet presence. thoughtful and curious. he did not pity me.

and over time, he went from guide to peer to something more. over time, i wasn’t just seeking knowledge but also him. but what was the point? what was the point of falling for him if one day, i could just disappear—vanish back to my world, leaving him and teyvat behind? this could slip away at any moment. this might be as fleeting as a dream.

despite all reason, i still found myself loving him deeply. in a world that wasn’t my own, he had become my home.

𝐭𝐫𝐨𝐩𝐞𝐬: very slow burn, mutual pining, friends to lovers

𝐀𝐁𝐎𝐔𝐓 𝐔𝐒: 22.10.22 | playlist | genshinverse ryu

𝐂𝐎𝐌𝐌𝐒: modern au | season of love

[venriliz]

Portia Montez for @rainymoodlet's Rock of Love Bachelor Challenge! <3

in depth info + full wardrobe below the cut! ↓

✮ Portia was born and raised in Evergeen Harbor, an industrial port town known for it's huge import/export businesses and even more so - it's heavily polluted environment especially at the shores of the sickly brown-ish sea. The early death of Portia's mother directly caused by the affects the bad air had on her health has instilled somewhat of a love-hate relationship towards Evergreen Harbor into the then 8 year old girl.

✮ Her father tried his best to raise his daughter by himself but despite his long working hours in a local shipyard the money was barely enough for them to survive, the possibilty of moving away far out of reach.

✮ Early in her youth she found her talent and passion for skateboarding, winning many prizes in junior competitions all over the country. After barley graduating from highschool (some ppl just aren't made for the educational system lol) she became a promising professional and quickly made a name for herself in the skating community all over the world. Her biggest successes were two back-to-back street skateboard world championship titles and several self-invented tricks where named after her. Life was good for Portia not only professionally but personally too after meeting Davide Montez who became not only her manager but als her husband.

✮ Sadly, as the saying goes though - nothing lasts forever and about a year ago, Portia found herself forced to retire from competing professionally because growing up in the bad environment of Evergreen Harbor finally started to catch up with her own health. Her retirement caused her marriage to suffer as well and soon after she announced the end of her career as a professional, Davide called it quits and they agreed to divorce on good terms.

✮ Now with her financial stability and free time to pursue new things, Portia took the chance and applied for the bachelor challenge to win Jackson Roth's heart. This is mostly thanks to her friends pressuring her to try after catching her gawking at one of the billboards with Jackson's photo on it (i mean HELLO?! he's hawt! °-° she just... doesn't like the music lol). Portia is (somewhat) ready for a new adventure and maybe, just maybe she'll find love again! <3

likes:

colors: orange, red, black music: electronica, hip hop, latin characteristics: family-oriented, hardworking, idealistic convo topics: flirting, deep thoughts, affection, talking about hobbies fashion: rocker, streetwear activities: fitness, dancing, wellness, rock climbing decor: industrial, mid-century

dislikes:

music: metal, cottagecore, ranch characteristics: egotistical, argumentative, ambitionless convo topics: evil interactions, arguing, gossip fashion: polished, country activities: fishing, cooking, mischief decor: farmhouse, cute

wardrobe:

[guppygiggles]

.

[toytulini]

if you draw enough monster ocs, when you go back to drawing a human character, it feels like "sameface syndrome" everytime, by virtue of their face being. human.

[stormyoceans]

what's the meaning when talay asked "are you asking me or yourself" in sunset orange

hello, anon!!!!

OKAY SO. to understand that particular line, we first need to understand what’s going on in puen’s and talay’s head in that particular moment. basically by episode 7, these two fools are pining after each other, but they’re both convinced that the other doesn’t feel the same way

puen has been flirting with talay non-stop since the very beginning and just upped his game after realizing he fell in love with talay at the beginning of episode 4, but he’s having a hard time understanding talay’s feelings: talay says stuff like “whatever happens, i’ll go through it with you” and “do you have any idea how long 12.960 minutes i waited for you felt like?” and “what i fear the most is that it [dying] happens to someone i care about. especially you”, but then he goes and pushes puen towards pang, refusing the idea of the two of them being portkeys. it feels like a rejection, but he’s not sure, because there are just too many mixed signals. even later, when it’s just the two of them around the fire and they’re having a Moment and talay closes his eyes, waiting to be kissed, puen is still NOT SURE, but he NEEDS to be, he NEEDS to have that final confirmation from talay, because the last time he was too forward (still in episode 4) he messed everything up and almost ruined their friendship, and so he asks talay: “this time, i can kiss you, can’t i?” except talay reads that in the wrong way

talay has been very confused about his own feelings for puen, and only between episode 6 and episode 7 he finally comes to realize that he has fallen in love with him. however, despite all of puen’s flirting, talay is pretty much convinced that puen does not feel the same, for a lot of different reasons: 1) he thinks portkeys = soulmates = meant to be together, and since he no longer believes he and puen are portkeys (“if you were, we’d be back by now”), he doesn’t think his feelings are reciprocated; 2) when he pushes puen towards pang, puen goes; 3) from talay’s point of view, puen flirting with him in episode 4 was just puen messing with him. even after clearing up their misunderstanding, every time puen flirts with him talay believes puen is just teasing him, but part of him is also (understandably) confused. when talay closes his eyes around the camp fire, waiting for puen to kiss him, in talay’s head that turns out to be a sort of test. it’s like he’s thinking ‘if he kisses me, then he’s actually serious’, because if he were, why wouldn’t puen take that chance, when talay is basically offering himself to him? well, we know why puen wouldn’t, but talay obviously doesn’t. so when puen not only does not kiss him, but also asks him that question, talay reads that as a rejection. when he says “are you asking me or yourself (if you can kiss me)”, it’s like he’s saying “are you asking me because you don’t know how i feel (even if i was just here with my eyes closed literally waiting for you to kiss me), or are you asking yourself because you don’t actually feel the same as me?”, and then he doesn’t wait for an answer because he thinks he already knows it (which is why the end of episode 7 is so important, because that's talay realizing that yeah, puen actually feels the same)

SO YEAH BASICALLY THEY'RE BOTH IDIOTS (AFFECTIONATE)

[conanssummerchild]

fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck

[shimp-heaven]

[dandelionjack]

revolutionary optimism ... wish i had an ounce of it. wish any of it rang true

[nervocat]

NO NOW I'M SPIRALING

[screampied]

✧ ⁺˳ cw. fem! reader, inexperienced choso, unprotected, missionary, praise, he’s very whipped, premature ejac, mdni.

pussydrunk choso who’s well over a hundred years old yet still doesn’t know where the clit is.

not until you show him,

as he’s already starting to feel himself pathetically bottom out, his bottom lip quivers and gets tugged underneath his teeth. he whines at your loose grip that wails out a ring through each of his sensitive pointed ears. through murky blown irises, you stare at him whilst tears of sweat race down each side of his sheeny slick forehead. while choso’s ensnared with the help of your plush thighs keeping his torso secure—he’s panting out puffs and puffs of air breathlessly.

with the way you’re like this—underneath him, locking your legs around his waist, making love to him with your eyes, he’s so weak. “gonna make you feel so good, baby,” and of course, there’s a tremor of a crack in his voice. you and choso both knew he wasn’t gonna last. already, you start to feel him mercilessly shudder above you. your warmth alone was enough to make him a twitching, stammering mess. the fattened girth of his cock stretches you whole and it’s never felt more snug. slinging weak arms around his tensed up shoulders, your wet lips press a chaste kiss against his tapered chin. “ngh, please—baby,” he choked up, your feverish touch and your viscid walls making his brain short circuit. the smooth flats of your ankles runs up and down his back before he slowly tries to start up a stroke or two. but your grip, his eyes widen and his jaw dangles open at your warmth from the inside. the minute sloppy friction introduces itself to your insides, he buries his face into the crook of your neck. “baby, think ‘m gonna d- die.”

“no choso, you’re just about to cum.”

“o- oh.”

you feel him stiffen up out of embarrassment—

a vermillion hue of heat flushes up from his ears and sprays down to his neck before he nibbles at your neck.

nip after nip, he’s savoring your flavorless taste before he achingly pistons his hips forward. even still, he’s trying to thrust forward but your soaked walls were no match for him. there was a fuzziness in his ears and his heart raced quicker and quicker from each individual stroke. “f- fuck,” he swears, leaning into your tender touch once your palms cup his face. choso’s hair was unkempt—instead of darkened raven ponytails, his hair was freely down and flowed down the tips of his conic sculpted shoulders. “baby, am i doing it right?”

“y- yes,” you nod, entrapping his slim waist with your legs. your hold was firmly secure, he’s vigorously rutting into you—mashing his pearly mushroom tip against that spot repeatedly before you whimper. balmy tepid pants ghost against your skin before you feel your cunt starting to constrict around his length. “right there, ‘cho. mhm, just like that.”

choso swallows, tasting a lingering concoction of sweetness on his tongue before his head throws itself back, and oh it’s a sight.

as he’s grinding his hips into you, his pectorals flex, showcasing just how built he really was.

perfectly sculpted abs, he’s got a bit of a few mole marks near his hip.

his body, he steadily rolled his hips inside of you through and through - so good, he’s basically humping you. he’s hot, but to him, you’re hotter.

choso’s eyes flicker back until all that’s shown for a few seconds were pure white. gnawing on the by inside of his cheek, his ears twitch—feeling the individual pulses of your cunt kiss against the swollen crown head of his cock. “please,” he whimpers out a beg. slumping into your chest, sticky bodies sway against each other in sync. “i can finish inside, r- right baby? please, ‘s so much to give you. i don’t wanna be a mess just by myself . . please.”

and every few seconds, he purposely grows quiet just to hear the repetitive sloshes of your pussy. you’re so wet - putting literal faucets to shame.

“you can cum inside, baby. ‘s okay,”

as those angelic words pour out of your lips, he can’t help but lean in—getting rid of the distance between you both. moaning into your mouth, his lips roughly crash onto yours and his hips concur into its final snap.

the bed grew more and more rickety from both amounts of weight - so much so that it’s crying, creaking in pleasure as both bodies mirror each rhythmic movement. his pace was relentless, and by now he’s just unapologetically stuffing you full of inches.

he’s drooling, he can’t help it. all down your neck, it’s a puddle of glossy saliva dribbling down your collarbone and he licks it right up.

“s- sorry, ‘m sorry. don’t mean to be messy,” he babbles into your neck, already broken from how whipped your cunt made him. it’s as if you had some sort of nectar, he was addicted just like that. he laps up his own saliva that dribbles down your neck and he feels your back arch in debleating rapture. your heart quickens it’s irregular thumps as you hold onto his bulky arms, moaning from his thoroughly precise angle. it’s sloppy, but regardless, he was hitting each crevice of your cunt rigorously, not missing a spot. he couldn’t afford to, not when you felt this good. “so sorry, ‘m sorry.”

his broken whispers coo into the shell of your ear as a whiff of peppermint breath wafts against your nose—and finally, he cums.

it’s so much, choso officially loses it the moment he shoots a thick satiny ropes inside of your weeping walls. fervently, your knees buckle and his potent makes him collapse against your gentle hold. it’s hot, milky creamy strings of cum fill into your gummy walls and he’s speechless for a moment. his base gets coated with a sloppy ring and his eyes go half lidded.

black lashes flutter and his face scrunches up in awe - the darkened slanted mark that paints all over the bridge of his nose curves up. it’s so cute, he’s weakly trying to plummet further into your cunt but instead falls right into your chest.

“c-choso,” you huff out a airy moan, feeling his tongue flick up against your tender exposed nipples. a hand of yours rake through his hair, tickling against his undercut before his hips buckle. the half curse silences you with a needy kiss, rocking his body against you even still, wads of cum pour deep down your thighs and he can’t help but fuck it right back into you. with a swift motion, his hips reel back in and his tongue delves into your mouth — craving access. as strands of saliva mix and mash with each other, he sucks on your tongue. “mhh,” and he’s still cumming hard, barred rough hands with a added gentle touch creeps down to hold onto your waist.

choso was hesitant, his big hands slowly roam down your body, calluses fingertips brushing up against the curvature of your beloved physique.

he pulls away and there’s heart eyes forming in his pupils - not literally, but with his lust filled gaze, it just might have. a plump thumb pulls down your bottom lip, and he remains still inside of your sloppy cunt, plugging you full entirely.

with a sheepish expression, he grabs the back of your hand and kisses it. “s- so, um. what are we?”

he’s definitely in love. pussy drunk, but definitely in love.

[bravewolfvesperia]

/ Since I mention in my pinned post that this blog has some changes from canon, I'm going to make a rundown post that I'll be linking in my muse info on my blog. My timeline post covers some of this too and has other things canon to my muse that aren't here because they're timeline based and not direct changes based. I'll update this as needed.

Repede had another owner before Yuri got him in the game. I'm combining this with FS. Thus, Repede would have been basically an infant when he and Lambert ended up with the knights. From there he took to Yuri as he did in the FS drama CD so Yuri was primarily in charge of Repede during his stay with the knights, but he and Flynn raised Repede together as is in line with the game. This means they continued raising him together even after Yuri left.

In the JP version of the game, Yuri says he was with the knights for a short time but doesn't specify how long that time was, so I'm completely yeeting the "three months" dub aspect from this blog. I can't reasonably assume he signed up, took the exams, went into training, went from errand boy to battle status, then went on normal missions and left in the span of three months. So as usual, we're following the JP timeline. Generally anything the dub makes up or actively changes from the original context/tone gets yeeted here.

In the FS drama CD, Flynn is extremely repetitive about Yuri quitting the knights and with his nagging. At least with @mistralxsoul and anyone else who prefers it the following way in threads with my muse, we're toning it down because it just feels absolutely batshit to us how bad it is in the drama CD (it's worse than even the movie itself).

Since the timeline for Yuri and Flynn's knighthood conflicts super horrendously between the novel, FS/FS drama CD and the game, I'm mixing all of it together (primarily because I consider the novel more canon than the FS drama CD). Basically (for my muse), they signed their names and didn't take the exams immediately, but when they eventually did it was at least a couple years later, due to Yuri still having his teen appearance when he signed his name to join in the novel. This is because otherwise, if I average my muse's teen age out to be fifteen/sixteen and his age to be about eighteen/nineteen in the knights, it would mean he'd been with the knights (including training, etc) anywhere from 2-4 years if his sign up was immediately after the novel's events. If they were to sign up and join immediately after the novel timeline, it also makes even less sense because Flynn's attitude in FS and his relationship with Yuri (and remember, the FS drama CD comes before the movie's timeline and Flynn was even worse about Yuri's attitude in the CD) would seem like it literally 180'd overnight.

So basically, to avoid all this insanity, a short summarized timeline for my muse would be: they signed up but didn't join right away, Flynn moved away and was gone for a couple years or so after the events of the novel, both of them changed in personality/behavior drastically in that time, they met up at the exams, they went into training, they got sent to Niren's squad, they were more errand boys than actual knights when they were still super fresh newbies and Yuri was extremely annoyed with that, they were actual knights for a while (I'm going to say Yuri was a knight for at least six months or more, especially if I consider the trajectory of Flynn's behavior toward him in the drama CD through the end of FS), the events of FS were not one straight timeline and things happened between the days etc etc, then Yuri left.

Following the game's drama CDs, Yuri hesitated a lot more when Flynn was injured at Zaude. If not for Flynn nudging him to go after Alexei even while wounded, Yuri wouldn't have left him there.

Following the same drama CDs, it's Raven and Repede who find and look after Yuri when he wakes up after Zaude. That is to say, Repede was already with Raven and lunged when he sniffed out Yuri in his room (super doggo powers). Raven followed Repede in a panic, who ran to Yuri's room upon realizing Yuri was there, and Raven finds Yuri awake but right in the middle of passing back out (the sound is basically Raven's voice being distant with some ringing, so it's from Yuri's point of view that Raven is trying to get him to steady himself but he passes back out). Raven takes care of him from there until he's recovered properly enough to go back. In this time, Rita did investigating and eventually, with the others minus Raven, went to Zopheir after deciding they couldn't dawdle and just wait in their grief. While they're there, Yuri and Raven have headed out after them and show up together and reunite with the rest of the group. Raven has already been updated on what Yuri knows from Duke at this point (Duke saved him as usual, but the drama CD changes come in after that), so the two of them update everyone else.

In the game, there's a skit with Yuri, Flynn and Karol where Yuri mentions "playing in a river", but in the novel, they were actually getting water at the river and the other kids were playing in the river when they got attacked by a monster, fell into the river (Yuri also mentions (I thiiiink in another unrelated skit) that just falling into "a river" was enough to panic him), and Flynn grabbed onto a merman. For my muse, I'm just going with Yuri simplifying the situation to Karol while keeping the novel's event as my muse's canon.

[branmuffins22]

If you write fanfiction, how do you get people to care about you as a person as well as your work? What do you need to do? Also, how do you make writer friends for the fandom you're in and meet really cool people who treat you like a celebrity?

um. what

[sapsolais]

-

[the-froschamethyst4]

Young Gf and Older bf

————

Simon Ghost Riley Headcanons

SFW & NSFW

————

————

SFW

Older bf! Simon who didn’t know how he felt about having a younger girlfriend

Older bf! Simon who was getting called “old man” by his girlfriend

Older bf! Simon who learned the hard way that some girls have expensive taste

Older bf! Simon who doesn’t talk much about his girlfriend to his mates, he feels like they’ll get on his ass about dating a young girl

Older bf! Simon who did most of the chores around the house

Older bf! Simon who stopped caring what he wore in front of people because his girlfriend is his little hype-man

“Does this work?” Simon asks coming into his shared bedroom with his girlfriend, she rolls on her side to look at him.

“They don’t match your shoes, Si.”

“What?” He looks down. “I thought they did.”

“Here, go try this on and come back at out.”

Older bf! Simon who told his girlfriend about his time in the military

Older bf! Simon who forget how young his girlfriend is, so when he makes jokes or says a movie reference she doesn’t know what he is talking about

Older bf! Simon who was honestly scared to meet his girlfriend’s family. She told them about Simon being older but not how old he was

“And how old are you, Simon?” Her dad asked leaning forward.

“I’m…40”

“40!!”

“Y/N?!”

“What?! He treats me good, he respects me, guys my age want that trad wife, Simon doesn’t, I can do or say what I want around him and feel good about myself.”

Older bf! Simon who knows everything about you. How you like your coffee, what time you’re suppose to be up for work, and he even knows when you’re about to start your period, you know when he shows up at home with bags full of pads and tampons and her favorite foods and drinks

Older bf! Simon who starts watching shows with you but complains about them but deep down he actually likes to watch them with his girlfriend

NSFW

Older bf! Simon who woke up to you in t-shirts and no shorts or pants, he likes seeing you in a t shirt and panties

Older bf! Simon who has woken up to morning wood before and needed help to get rid of it

“Love,” he kisses the shell of her ear. “Love…wake up,” he coos.

“Hmm~ Simon, not now please.”

“I know, love, you don’t have to do anything,” Simon lines himself up at her entrance and pushes himself into her

Older bf! Simon who like after argument sex

“Fuck you!”

“Oh yeah? Fuck me?” Simon carries a smirk on his face.

“Back up, Simon,” Y/n says putting her hand up on his chest to keep distance.

“Fuck me right? Fuck me?”

“Wait, wait,” your legs didn’t work for a few weeks

Older bf! Simon who tries different things with you, like BDSM you both hated it because it’ll be painful for you and Simon didn’t like you hurt

DDLG, he knows the age gap between you two but he hates the word ‘daddy’ makes him cringe

Mask kink, you both loved it, giving the illusion you were being fucked by someone else and he liked feelings your hands in his face

Voice kink, you liked it because of his deep voice already, he was on the fence, not saying your voice is annoying or anything he just didn’t get it

Knife play, you got scared when he accidentally dropped the knife and it was very close to your hand, it was the same thing with gun play you were afraid something wrong might happen

He tried to be a sub but you could barely take it seriously

Older bf! Simon who has fucked you when you were doing your work, you worked in a private office and all he had to do was shut and lock the door and bend you over your own desk

Older bf! Simon who is handsy when he’s horny

“Simon what do you want?”

“I want nothing,” he says as one of his hands were on your waste and the other snacks up to your breasts giving you a gentle squeeze and you gave him a soft moan.

“Just do it already, Simon,” she moans

Older bf! Simon who has kept a pair of your panties in his pockets and has forgotten about them before, he remembers when he accidentally sticks his hand into his pocket and feels the lace

Older bf! Simon who bought a motorcycle and takes you with him as his backpack, he found a abandoned place were no one comes to and you two had a good fuck on his bike

[bookishdiplodocus]

The Neurodivergent Writer’s Guide to Fun and Productivity

(Even when life beats you down)

Look, I’m a mom, I have ADHD, I’m a spoonie. To say that I don’t have heaps of energy to spare and I struggle with consistency is an understatement. For years, I tried to write consistently, but I couldn’t manage to keep up with habits I built and deadlines I set.

So fuck neurodivergent guides on building habits, fuck “eat the frog first”, fuck “it’s all in the grind”, and fuck “you just need time management”—here is how I manage to write often and a lot.

Focus on having fun, not on the outcome

This was the groundwork I had to lay before I could even start my streak. At an online writing conference, someone said: “If you push yourself and meet your goals, and you publish your book, but you haven’t enjoyed the process… What’s the point?” and hoo boy, that question hit me like a truck.

I was so caught up in the narrative of “You’ve got to show up for what’s important” and “Push through if you really want to get it done”. For a few years, I used to read all these productivity books about grinding your way to success, and along the way I started using the same language as they did. And I notice a lot of you do so, too.

But your brain doesn’t like to grind. No-one’s brain does, and especially no neurodivergent brain. If having to write gives you stress or if you put pressure on yourself for not writing (enough), your brain’s going to say: “Huh. Writing gives us stress, we’re going to try to avoid it in the future.”

So before I could even try to write regularly, I needed to teach my brain once again that writing is fun. I switched from countable goals like words or time to non-countable goals like “fun” and “flow”.

Rewire my brain: writing is fun and I’m good at it

I used everything I knew about neuroscience, psychology, and social sciences. These are some of the things I did before and during a writing session. Usually not all at once, and after a while I didn’t need these strategies anymore, although I sometimes go back to them when necessary.

I journalled all the negative thoughts I had around writing and try to reason them away, using arguments I knew in my heart were true. (The last part is the crux.) Imagine being supportive to a writer friend with crippling insecurities, only the friend is you.

Not setting any goals didn’t work for me—I still nurtured unwanted expectations. So I did set goals, but made them non-countable, like “have fun”, “get in the flow”, or “write”. Did I write? Yes. Success! Your brain doesn’t actually care about how high the goal is, it cares about meeting whatever goal you set.

I didn’t even track how many words I wrote. Not relevant.

I set an alarm for a short time (like 10 minutes) and forbade myself to exceed that time. The idea was that if I write until I run out of mojo, my brain learns that writing drains the mojo. If I write for 10 minutes and have fun, my brain learns that writing is fun and wants to do it again.

Reinforce the fact that writing makes you happy by rewarding your brain immediately afterwards. You know what works best for you: a walk, a golden sticker, chocolate, cuddle your dog, whatever makes you happy.

I conditioned myself to associate writing with specific stimuli: that album, that smell, that tea, that place. Any stimulus can work, so pick one you like. I consciously chose several stimuli so I could switch them up, and the conditioning stays active as long as I don’t muddle it with other associations.

Use a ritual to signal to your brain that Writing Time is about to begin to get into the zone easier and faster. I guess this is a kind of conditioning as well? Meditation, music, lighting a candle… Pick your stimulus and stick with it.

Specifically for rewiring my brain, I started a new WIP that had no emotional connotations attached to it, nor any pressure to get finished or, heaven forbid, meet quality norms. I don’t think these techniques above would have worked as well if I had applied them on writing my novel.

It wasn’t until I could confidently say I enjoyed writing again, that I could start building up a consistent habit. No more pushing myself.

I lowered my definition for success

When I say that nowadays I write every day, that’s literally it. I don’t set out to write 1,000 or 500 or 10 words every day (tried it, failed to keep up with it every time)—the only marker for success when it comes to my streak is to write at least one word, even on the days when my brain goes “naaahhh”. On those days, it suffices to send myself a text with a few keywords or a snippet. It’s not “success on a technicality (derogatory)”, because most of those snippets and ideas get used in actual stories later. And if they don’t, they don’t. It’s still writing. No writing is ever wasted.

A side note on high expectations, imposter syndrome, and perfectionism

Obviously, “Setting a ridiculously low goal” isn’t something I invented. I actually got it from those productivity books, only I never got it to work. I used to tell myself: “It’s okay if I don’t write for an hour, because my goal is to write for 20 minutes and if I happen to keep going for, say, an hour, that’s a bonus.” Right? So I set the goal for 20 minutes, wrote for 35 minutes, and instead of feeling like I exceeded my goal, I felt disappointed because apparently I was still hoping for the bonus scenario to happen. I didn’t know how to set a goal so low and believe it.

I think the trick to making it work this time lies more in the groundwork of training my brain to enjoy writing again than in the fact that my daily goal is ridiculously low. I believe I’m a writer, because I prove it to myself every day. Every success I hit reinforces the idea that I’m a writer. It’s an extra ward against imposter syndrome.

Knowing that I can still come up with a few lines of dialogue on the Really Bad Days—days when I struggle to brush my teeth, the day when I had a panic attack in the supermarket, or the day my kid got hit by a car—teaches me that I can write on the mere Bad-ish Days.

The more I do it, the more I do it

The irony is that setting a ridiculously low goal almost immediately led to writing more and more often. The most difficult step is to start a new habit. After just a few weeks, I noticed that I needed less time and energy to get into the zone. I no longer needed all the strategies I listed above.

Another perk I noticed, was an increased writing speed. After just a few months of writing every day, my average speed went from 600 words per hour to 1,500 wph, regularly exceeding 2,000 wph without any loss of quality.

Talking about quality: I could see myself becoming a better writer with every passing month. Writing better dialogue, interiority, chemistry, humour, descriptions, whatever: they all improved noticeably, and I wasn’t a bad writer to begin with.

The increased speed means I get more done with the same amount of energy spent. I used to write around 2,000-5,000 words per month, some months none at all. Nowadays I effortlessly write 30,000 words per month. I didn’t set out to write more, it’s just a nice perk.

Look, I’m not saying you should write every day if it doesn’t work for you. My point is: the more often you write, the easier it will be.

No pressure

Yes, I’m still working on my novel, but I’m not racing through it. I produce two or three chapters per month, and the rest of my time goes to short stories my brain keeps projecting on the inside of my eyelids when I’m trying to sleep. I might as well write them down, right?

These short stories started out as self-indulgence, and even now that I take them more seriously, they are still just for me. I don’t intend to ever publish them, no-one will ever read them, they can suck if they suck. The unintended consequence was that my short stories are some of my best writing, because there’s no pressure, it’s pure fun.

Does it make sense to spend, say, 90% of my output on stories no-one else will ever read? Wouldn’t it be better to spend all that creative energy and time on my novel? Well, yes. If you find the magic trick, let me know, because I haven’t found it yet. The short stories don’t cannibalize on the novel, because they require different mindsets. If I stopped writing the short stories, I wouldn’t produce more chapters. (I tried. Maybe in the future? Fingers crossed.)

Don’t wait for inspiration to hit

There’s a quote by Picasso: “Inspiration hits, but it has to find you working.” I strongly agree. Writing is not some mystical, muse-y gift, it’s a skill and inspiration does exist, but usually it’s brought on by doing the work. So just get started and inspiration will come to you.

Accountability and community

Having social factors in your toolbox is invaluable. I have an offline writing friend I take long walks with, I host a monthly writing club on Discord, and I have another group on Discord that holds me accountable every day. They all motivate me in different ways and it’s such a nice thing to share my successes with people who truly understand how hard it can be.

The productivity books taught me that if you want to make a big change in your life or attitude, surrounding yourself with people who already embody your ideal or your goal huuuugely helps. The fact that I have these productive people around me who also prioritize writing, makes it easier for me to stick to my own priorities.

Your toolbox

The idea is to have several techniques at your disposal to help you stay consistent. Don’t put all your eggs in one basket by focussing on just one technique. Keep all of them close, and if one stops working or doesn’t inspire you today, pivot and pick another one.

After a while, most “tools” run in the background once they are established. Things like surrounding myself with my writing friends, keeping up with my daily streak, and listening to the album I conditioned myself with don’t require any energy, and they still remain hugely beneficial.

Do you have any other techniques? I’d love to hear about them!

I hope this was useful. Happy writing!