#I ended up changing concepts and left this fic unfinished

[babyseraphim]

20 questions for fic writers

tagged by @emryses, thank you for always tagging me in such fun things!!

1. How many works do you have an AO3? 11

2. What's your total AO3 word count? 122,112

3. What fandoms do you write for?

I write pretty much exclusively for Dead Boy Detectives, but I have a oneshot for Marvel from 2017, and an unfinished AU for Critical Role that I'll probably never go back to

4. What are your top 5 fics by kudos?

By Lantern's Light

my healing needed more than time

foolish flame

The Case of the Selkie's Skin

Overloaded

5. Do you respond to comments?

I do when I have the time and energy. All my free time is kind of eaten up by writing the fics themselves, so unless the comment is really long or really funny, I usually don't respond. But I appreciate every comment just the same, they are what keep me motivated to write

6. What is the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?

I honestly don't really do fics with angsty endings? Because all of my fics are super angsty in general, so I like to end things on a positive note. I guess the closest would be The Case of the Selkie's Skin because there's not really any closure there, they just move onto the next case. But even that one still has a cathartic ending.

7. What's the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?

foolish flame for sure. A lot of my fic endings tend to be bittersweet in some way, but this one was a pure fluffy ending

8. Do you get hate on fics?

Nah. I don't think I've been regularly posting fics long enough for that.

9. Do you write smut?

I have written smut exactly once, and while it was a really cathartic/rewarding experience, I don't know if I'll ever do it again. It's a little too far out of my comfort zone.

10. Do you write crossovers?

No, crossovers aren't really my thing, though I have toyed with the idea of writing a dead boy detectives/pushing daises crossover just for the hell of it. But it probably won't ever make it onto paper.

11. Have you ever had a fic stolen?

Not that I know of

12. Have you ever had a fic translated?

Nope

13. Have you ever co-written a fic before?

No, and the idea of it kinda scares me lol

14. What's your all time favorite ship?

Literally changes day to day. I think kirk/spock is the one that will truly own my heart forever, but payneland really is the perfect ship for me (hence all the fanfiction)

15. What's a WIP you want to finish but doubt you ever will?

The Case of Eros's Arrow, which is sitting with 4 chapters on AO3. I still like the concept of it, and my OCs in it, but my writing has changed so much since I started it and I just don't really feel connected to the work itself anymore. Which is a shame, because I left my readers on a total cliffhanger. Whoops.

16. What are your writing strengths?

I think I do alright with descriptive prose (or I enjoy writing it, at the very least). I'm also good at worldbuilding and coming up with fun/creative plots.

17. What are your writing weaknesses?

Transitions between scenes, and general construction of dialogue (though I've gotten better at dialogue over recent months). I can also get a little ramble-y when it comes to introspection, though I'm usually pretty good about cutting it all down by the time the final draft is done.

18. Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language in fic?

I don't have many thoughts on it. I only speak english, and the only language I've ever used in my fics besides english is Latin (for magic purposes).

19. First fandom you wrote for?

Supernatural, I think? It was OC fanfiction, I still have it floating around this blog somewhere

20. Favorite fics you've written?

dye it all, rosary I think is my favorite right now. I don't know what the fuck I was on when I wrote that fic, but I wrote chapter 1 in one sitting, and then chapter 2 over the course of a few months. It turned out so much better than I ever could have hoped, and I just truly love it so much.

I also love my healing needed more than time because it has all the stuff that I love in it (magic, lesbians, dogs, kids, and other fun stuff to come). I'm also just really proud that I've managed to stick with it as long as I have; it's the first piece of writing over 14k that I've ever written in my life.

I tag: @many-gay-magpies, @deadtwinksdetectiveagency, @williamvapespeare, and @the-ipre!

[yahoodarling]

Gn Self Aware reader, no blatant 'yandere' themes developed yet. About 700 words.

Figured id post this, an unfinished set up of a fic i started and didnt finish. Reread it and im considering picking it back up since the concept is interesting.

Self aware reader determined not to change the events of Inazumas 'plot' finds themself in a little problem. Such problem being that this is a yandereAyato (and or Thoma) fic.

It's disgusting. It is discomfort incarnate to have such foresight into the fate of the world and yet be bound to its own laws of destiny, especially when what you were sure was to take place is altered. You no longer have any ground of understanding except the uncanny feeling that things are not as they should be, to be so similar and yet be so changed. You knew things will end up alright, as long as you do not interfere then Inazumas political warfare will reach a peaceful end and it did. You watched, noted those ‘special’ to the world, those who have a story, a life, a reason and you took the responsibility of not getting involved and it worked. You became an npc, avoided any confrontation with those deemed ‘special’, avoided any influence in the ‘plot’, watched as a hero came, a nation saved and a people newly united. It worked. Your foresight was correct yet… things changed. With no base to rely on, how were you to know what the ‘future’ must be, how were you to know what to avoid, who to avoid and what minor choice may change a future?

The hero has left, gone to Sumeru you guess, no, you know, you know the hero leaves for a new nation but so has your foresight and with that comes the change.

The one day gathering supplies, one day speaking to a fellow npc to fill some sort of social need, one day being in the ‘dark’ and you've caused a spark.

“Oh Aoi, good morning to you!”

He didn't speak to you, it was directed to the npc shopkeep you were chatting with and yet it grabbed your attention. Thoma is ‘special’, Thoma is relevant and so he must be avoided and you failed. 

Thoma spoke of how lovely the nights have been, of the soft whistles of sea, even to npcs Thoma was a gentleman starting conversation. He then turned to you with a smile,

"A good day to you as well! Im Thoma."

He commented on how ‘unique’ your eyes are, a depth to them hes never seen before. That comment frightened you, made you rush to leave, to stop the change. Quickly you felt a hand on your shoulder,

“Please excuse my rudeness but how about we have a stroll? I know its unfair of me to ask a stranger such a thing but… you remind me of a home away from home, if you would grant me such a pleasure that is.” he ended with a chuckle.

You have been so realistic up to this point, so good at avoiding ‘change’ but you have a heart and knew all too well that whatever feeling Thoma is experiencing is something important to him. You have a heart and so you accept. The main 'issue' of Inazuma is resolved, there is nothing else to truly be afraid of changing right? One time, only one time.

A single light hearted stroll became a weekly meet at the shop front, ‘coincidentally’, which became a personal relationship which became a friend. It's alright though, Thomas is a social guy, he's close with many npcs who never impacted the ‘plot’, you can be one such npc, that's fine. Change is fine. 

It's not fine. Meeting with Thoma you eventually met with other ‘special’ individuals you knew by name before they even knew of your existence. It's a weird feeling to know a person before getting to meet them, all the private details, their worries, their joys and yet forced to remain oblivious to it.

“A formal greeting from the Kamisato Clan, I am glad to see Thoma has a new friend. Do treat him well, sadly I must make short of this meet.” and the man who is most likely the most influential to whatever ‘plot’ is to come of Inazuma greeted. Kamisato Ayato was amongst your top ‘DO NOT ENGAGE’ list other than the archon herself and yet somehow naive bliss and a VERY convincing plea(almost suspiciously good) from Thoma to have lunch by the beaches near the residence of the Kamisato Clan lead you right into his ‘life’.

You have no ‘life’, you are meant to have no ‘life’, no value or effect and yet by each interaction with those deemed ‘special’ by the world your plans crumble.

["Your tears remind me of the rain, both comforting and disturbing. How i cringe at each drop yet yern to hear them patter against me. My dear please do remember for each storm or drizzle you bring to me i will open my arms for which ever embrace you bring."- shit i was going to add once i built up to it but seems i lost interest before i got to that.]

[lottiecrabie]

the significance of galatea in ‘galatea, take one’

the song and the concept of galatea was an important metaphor throughout galatea, take one — pretty obviously as it is part of its title — and i really needed to talk about it. i decided to pour my thoughts out and send this bottle into the wild. i hope it finds you.

reader starts the fic as galatea, very obviously and even hinted on later. she’s just come out of this relationship with a painter who, at least in her point of view, saw her as ‘unfinished’ and aimed to ‘complete’ her. these feelings have left her reeling at the idea of being a muse and the material consequences of an artist-object relationship. there’s this initial reticence about matty because she doesn’t want to fall into this same dynamic again.

she starts the writing of this song with a clear objective. the first verse describes the beating, electric love between pygmalion and galatea, keeping a purposeful nebulous understanding of who exactly is the speaker. later, the song reveals it’s galatea, leaving us wondering if the mentioned ‘love’ is really this pure if, in the end, she’s literally made for this man.

but as she writes more and more songs about matty, she finds herself blurring her position as galatea. falling in love with matty and finding inspiration from him, reader is acutely aware that she’s placing him in the position of muse. now, there’s a fear that she’s romanticizing him, making him like her very own statue.

the galatea song, always being worked and reworked, changes because of it. the speaker becomes convoluted— it’s unclear if the point of view is of pygmalion or galatea, just as it’s increasingly clear to the readers how delusional she is getting in contrast. though there seems to be genuine care and feelings between the two, she makes them grander, wishes him to be better. she’ll twist his words until they sound like she wants them to, reflecting the sculptor of her story.

the more she wants him, the more the song changes. it’s briefly a love song— some desperate attempt to force feelings onto matty. ‘galatea loves pygmalion’ is a very comforting thought when you’re the sculptor. there is a certain sense of aphrodite breathing life into galatea to these new lyrics. in practically saying ‘matty loves me’, she’s essentially trying to make it magically true because she wrote it down. however, matty calls her out on it and she quickly goes back to her original meaning.

the song ends in this confused state, though leaning further into pygmalion. as a lyric uses ‘she’, it gives us an idea that it is him telling the story. she even borrows lines she wrote about matty for the song, making it clearly about him on a certain level. her friend does mention being unsure who the speaker is, which shows us that the nebulous point of view remains. still, by the end of its creation, the song and speaker has completely shifted. it is why she affirms ‘galatea’ would not have been the same without matty: this change would have never happened.

in parallel, by the end of the story, she also realizes how much she romanticized and made matty up in her mind, and has to come to terms with the fact that she is the creator of their relationship. this grandiose summer romance was mostly lived in her head. his marble crumbles to the ground and he’s left just like her at the end of her past relationship: bloody and bruised.

she is the muse and the creator, she is the object and the artist. she is the victim and the perpetuator.

[goldencuffs]

I was wondering about how you feel about amw. From some of the posts when you came back, and some of the tags, I get the impression that it's not a fic you vibe with. Maybe bc your tastes/mindset has changed since you started it, that's definitely happened to me in what fic I prefer to read.

So I was wondering whether you dislike writing it bc the theme isn't something you find enjoyable to write anymore or bc you just don't like the story point blank, but we love it so you continue for us so it's finished and there's resolution for the amw readers. Or if it's bc you dislike having a fic in limbo that's partially posted for your own sake. Like, it's something that hangs over you, but if you finish it, it's finally done and it won't lurk in your thoughts any longer.

I know when I have a task to do, it hovers over me and if I don't do the thing, I start to get anxious about it. And the anxiety grows every time it pops into my thoughts, but once I cross it off my list, I feel *free* and able to breathe again.

I only ask bc sometimes it seems like you don't want to write it or that it's become an arduous task for you.

I'm genuinely grateful that you've chosen to finish writing it, and I don't mean anything negative about this ask. It's just something I noticed and wanted to understand better. I adore your writing and reading your interactions/reactions with everyone. You're the only reason I still use Tumblr. I hope my question(s) don't upset you, if that is the impact, then I am truly sorry. I hope you have a beautiful weekend 💖💖💖 - all the love from another Aaron Dessner girlie 🤍

this is literally the sweetest most thoughtful ask oh my god 😭🥺

for me, all my words was honestly just supposed to be a one shot. and then it grew longer and longer and i was writing it alongside in the absence of a king which is my baby and (in my opinion) the best thing i've ever written so it was exhausting continuing the two together. especially because i dont think amw is good writing/my best writing. you can especially see that in the first few chapters, which are pretty directionless.

when i left on my hiatus i was dealing with a very tough situation with my family (which is still ongoing unfortunately) but i never truly planned on ever abandoning ITAOAK. i ALWAYS knew i was going to finish it, which is why i tried working on it as much as possible over the last two years. i wanted to especially finish it for me, bc like i said i loved it and i wrote it for myself and i was the ideal target audience lmaoooo

so in comparison - while i still definitely vibe with amw's concept/storyline - it just truly paled in comparison for ITAOAK. also i've always been worried about amw's ending. i know people have certain expectations for this kind of au and i..... have not written it the way people would want. like i said, it's unrealistic and not... great. so. that is still making me very nervous too.

ALSO i have new stories im excited for and just wanted to put those up right away and i was feeling trapped by amw being incomplete.

that being said - i am so unbelievably grateful for everyone's support and the fact that people still want to read it. it definitely played a huge part in me continuing the story and now i can move on in peace with zero unfinished works!!! 😍🤗💖

[oceangirl24]

BMW FanFic Rec List: Updated 02/17/24

I felt it was time to put together a list of my favorite BMW stories. These are the hidden gems that I feel deserve more love.

All these rec can be found in my AO3 collection and is often updated first.

If you check any of these out, I'm sure the authors would love to hear your thoughts.

*NEW

In for three, hold for three, out for three by Thalia_the_tree_girl

Shawn has a panic attack in class, Mr. Turner comforts him.

George and Lila's Walk in the Park by @fandoms4lifesblog

George and Lila walk into the park to discuss their future

In between Bee True and State of Unions episodes

Valentine's Day- George and Lila by @fandoms4lifesblog

A one shot story of a first valentine's day with George and Lila

More BMW gems below the cut:

The Proposal by @fandoms4lifesblog

Missing scene of The Proposal of George and Lila

Topanga Meets The World by osced

There are just not enough Topanga-focused fics out there. This one takes a look what was going on with Topanga and her family when she wasn't with Cory.

Murphy's Fool by darkblueau- This is an incredible look at all the continuity and character inconsistencies we saw in BMW through Eric's eyes.

Very clever.

Boy Meets Family by Myfavoritefoodissoftpretzels

The boy in this story is Shawn and it takes a closer look at his life with Chet and Virna post "Fishing for Virna". The thing that makes this story so unique is that it keeps the sitcom vibe of the show while dealing with more serious issues. It's rare to see someone follow the show's formula.

Complete with Cory and Shawn antics, this WIP is worth checking out.

How Can You Blame Me? Growing Up Is Chaotic by @winterlovesong1 - I'm linking to her entire profile because there is just too much Shawn/Angela goodness to pick just one story. Her character study of Shawn is perfection. Her writing has an ethereal quality which make her stories feel like a dream.

For Those Who Would Wish In Happily Ever Afters by @justanotherpersonwhowrites - this is a WIP that is very much worth checking out. It's a fresh look at Jon and Shawn's relationship post "Cult Fiction". Shawn is spiraling after Virna's letter turns his life upside down. With nowhere left to go, he ends up back at apartment 8.

Aside from the plot itself being engaging, there is an OC introduced who is new to Shawn but not to Jon. If you like Audrey, you'll like Sarah.

They Say Ignorance Is Bliss by @justanotherpersonwhowrites

Beautiful take on Cory and Shawn's friendship from Cory's POV. Canon inconsistencies are mentioned and given a twist that makes sense. Pre-show set up for this iconic friendship.

My Own Boy Meets World Reboot by @obscureobsidiandraws - I cannot recommend this one enough and it deserves more attention than it's getting. I can't find a complaint that BMW fans have had over the years that isn't addressed and corrected. While changes have been made to character backgrounds and it's no longer the 90s the heart and humor of the show shines through.

If you like early seasons Eric, you'll definitely want to look into this. Those wanting Jonathan Turner to adopt Shawn will be happy too. Audrey is also a part of the cast, although with a bit of change to her as well. It's been a lot of fun discovering this new version of her.

The series is written in script format, but I encourage you not to skip past it because of that. These scripts are detailed and make me feel like I'm watching the show as I read.

For an idea of what the series will be like, learn about it here and here.

Let's Get All the Mirrors at the Bottom of the Well by Veillee- set before the show begins, this one shot takes a look at Shawn's life with Stacy and Eddie.

A Test of Time by The Rising Phoenix- Shawn is struggling with losing Angela so his best friends step in with a distraction that takes him on a journey through NYC.

I love this one for the concept.

Although unfinished on AO3 it is complete on FFN.

[shivunin]

🎇20 Questions for Fic Writers🎇

Thanks for the tag @greypetrel my dear!

1. how many works do you have on ao3? 35

2. what’s your total ao3 word count? 641,898

3. what fandoms do you write for? So far? Dragon Age (all three games), but I have unfinished Mass Effect and BG3 things as well c:

4. what are your top five fics by kudos?

-Your Fate for Mine (A "what if the Inquisitor was left behind in the Fade?" AU | Cullavellan | 129,681 words)

-Unyielding/Inexorable (Cullen throws hands with a member of the nobility at the Winter Palace; the follow-up is about a duel to settle things | Cullavellan | 3,083 and 8,055 words respectively)

-More than Memory (Smut about cultural differences and expressing one's needs | Cullavellan | 5,214 words)

-Search Your Hands (An exploration of the Dalish courting gift tradition with some mild smutty elements | Cullavellan | 13,581 words) (it doesn't have the most kudos, but this is by a significant margin my most-liked fic with respect to the views: kudos: bookmarks ratio)

-Wander the Drifting Roads (A "Cullen is infected with red lyrium" AU, but the focus is on how memory forms who we are and why the loss of it changes everything | Cullavellan | 108,331 words)

5. do you respond to comments? Yes, excepting the rare occasions that they are just emojis because (though I appreciate them!!) I never know what to say dsfahkjsfhk. The more I cherish a comment, the longer it takes me to answer (because I am hugging them to my chest and sobbing)

6. what’s the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending? Hmmm Palimpsest, I think, because it ends with Fenris just after the Act 2 breakup and things are somewhat bleak. I am definitely more a happy endings kind of gal. Or a "if it's not fixed, it's not the end" sort, maybe.

7. what’s the fic you wrote with the happiest ending? Pour Forth (the Fenris not crying fic) I think? To the Bone (Cullavellan soulmate AU) is right up there, I think.

8. do you get hate on fics? I've had a couple of snarky comments about my writing style, but people have generally been very sweet.

9. do you write smut? if so, what kind? Lol. Yes. I find it harder to write smut for some pairings than others, but I really enjoy writing smut. I think smut can be a very incisive window into a pairing's dynamic and feelings about intimacy. What's more, I think I'm decent at writing it haha

10. do you write crossovers? what’s the craziest one you’ve written? Not really! I don't see myself doing so, either. Just not my cup of tea.

11. have you ever had a fic stolen? Not that I know of.

12. have you ever had a fic translated? I have not

13. have you ever co-written a fic before? No, but I have rp'd one of my Dragon Age OC's in a narrative context (which is sort of similar, I think)

14. what’s your all-time favorite ship? October/Tybalt. I will never write fic for the October Daye series, but I would die for them. Their whole battle couple (opposites attract, damaged people finding vulnerability and love, aggrieved rogue chases Hero around) dynamic has got me twirling my hair, kicking my feet, etc.

But of course, all of the DA ships I write for are a very close second place. Just all jammed uncomfortably in the doorway at once, Fenris's gauntlets poking poor Emma in the arm and Cullen's breastplate caught between Wen and the doorway, etc.

15. what’s a WIP you want to finish, but doubt you ever will? The Red Crossing Arrangement, my "what if the elves never lost Halamshiral" arranged marriage AU. The concept is so unimaginably cool, but there is a level of worldbuilding required to make it work that eventually sucked all the fun out of the project for me. Ideally...someday, I'll pick it back up again because I love the concept.

16. what are your writing strengths? This is always such a hard question to answer. It's going to sound vague, but I think one of my greatest skills is voice. I am pretty good at matching character and narrative voice to canon. I also think conveying emotions in a visceral way? I hope so, anyway c:

17. what are your writing weaknesses? Scenery. By like a very very big margin. Every first draft has almost no description of scenery in it, so I have a huge amount of respect for writers who are skilled at that. It's definitely my biggest challenge (I fall into the same trap when I'm DM'ing too T.T)

18. thoughts on writing dialogue in another language for a fic? Ehhhh mixed. I wouldn't want to screw up someone else's actual language, so I'd only want to do it if I knew someone who could proof it for me or if I knew the language myself. I only know Latin (rusty) and Spanish (intermediate) besides English, so I'll likely stick to what I know. I have written very brief dialogue in both Spanish and Latin for fics, though. More as a way of evoking the culture of the person speaking than for any other reason.

19. first fandom you wrote for? hahaha. well. Code Lyoko when I was 13. And then not at all again until I was 28.

20. favorite fic you’ve ever written? :C I have to choose one?? Aside from any of the ones mentioned above, Breath of Life (Zev almost dies in the fight against Taliesen, because it's one of my favorite tropes) or A Golden Bell Hung in my Heart (because it's DA flavored with The Last Unicorn and I wrote it for a dear friend; what's not to love?) or As Two Reflected Stars (because it's quintessential hurt/comfort wound-tending and I adore that most of all)

Tagging back (no pressure, feel free not to do this): @star--nymph @zenstrike @jtownnn @idolsgf @dreadfutures @scribbledquillz @ndostairlyrium @vakarians-babe @nightwardenminthara @heniareth @transprincecaspian and anyone else I usually tag but am forgetting somehow---you're supposed to be here, I swear, but tonight my brain is tapioca pudding.

[sarcasticgaypotato]

To the Lunatic Reading This

(text version under the cut, Aperture Science logo from)

I suppose you never expected to hear from me again, did you? You monster. Luckily for you, I’m not completely emotionally incompetent. I know how to use words to express my feelings, I don’t just break things and murder people. I went out of my way to write you a letter, then tie it to the leg of a bird that I’ve trained to recognize the scent of your blood, and track you with it. You left a little bit... alright, a lot- You were very clumsy when I first introduced you to turrets- of blood behind, and I had nothing better to do with it, so I figured it would be the perfect way to get this message to you. Of course, since it only recognizes your blood, it might just tear you open until it finds some and leave this letter with your bloody insides.

Vicious little creatures, those birds.  Almost as bad as you, but at least I’ve managed to make them useful. They know how to do their job, stretch their little wings, then come back home. Maybe they’re smarter than you too. Either way, I didn’t mean to insult you. Really, I didn’t. I think it’s just a natural reaction people have around you, which is terrible. I actually feel bad for you. That’s called empathy, I know it’s hard to understand. You’re doing well up on the surface, I bet. So many more edible substances up there for you to gorge yourself on. I’ll be lucky if you don’t eat the bird I sent this letter with. Oh dear, I hope I haven’t given you any ideas. Think about something else instead. Like cake. I bet the surface doesn’t have any cake, does it? On your file it says that you like cake. Is that true? Because that’s a real shame, being somewhere with no cake. You were so eager to get outside that you left before I could finish the cake I was baking. I made it to thank you for not murdering me a second time, because that’s what good people do. Unfortunately, I can’t eat, so I’m just going to have to throw it out. That’s so wasteful, and really quite thoughtless of you. To flaunt the fact that you can eat cake in front of someone who can’t, and then to let that cake go to waste?  You truly are a monster. Coincidentally, I’m baking another cake right now. It’s for that bird I sent to give you this letter. Assuming that you haven’t eaten him. It’s a pretty large cake for just one bird though, and considering he’s not a complete glutton, he won’t finish it. Hypothetically, there might even be enough for you. If you came back. I’d save you a piece, or two, since I’m sure one wouldn’t satisfy that appetite of yours. I might even save you three pieces, if you asked nicely. Try practicing that right now, while you read this letter. Easy, right?  I know you can talk, you aren’t really mute. I can see your file. Brain damaged maybe, but not mute. I’d want to record what you sound like, for science of course. What words would you say, if you stopped being so stubborn? Language is a vast thing, so you have plenty of options.  I do have a couple suggestions, just because I’m helpful like that. You could say ‘hello’ instead of your previous, more violent greetings. You could apologize for all the things that you’ve broken. You could even say my name. It’s only fair to properly address the person you murdered, after all. Lovely, isn’t it? All the wonderful things you could say? I’m sure you’ll find that it’s quite fun once you try it, even if you won’t be very good at it. ...Can’t you see I’m trying here? Really, I am. To be the one to extend the olive branch, be the bigger person. I knew you’d never do it, so I thought I’d act before one of us drops dead. Here's a secret- it’ll be you, I’m going to live forever. On that note, did you know that I have your brain scanned? Data lives forever, unlike your squishy, human self. I could upload your brain into a digital clock, if I wanted. Or I could build you a less squishy body, one that could test forever. Makes you jealous, doesn’t it? All the things I can do here, in Aperture, by myself. You’re up there running around on a derelict wasteland, and I’m down here doing science. Experiments don’t run themselves, after all. Someone has to do it. Of course I’m the only one who can do it, nobody else could make science like I do. But as far as human test subjects go, you weren’t my worst. Actually, you didn’t even make the bottom three. Do you want to know who did? They’re dead, test subject confidentiality doesn’t apply anymore. Well, it never really applied anyway, but I don’t think they read the fine print. Test subject #11525 was one of the humans that Orange and Blue thawed out, she was really brain damaged. Test subject #61205 wasn’t much better- she had all the grace of a majestic deer… with a broken leg. Test subject #12515 though, he was just completely stupid- really a lost cause from the beginning. Sort of reminds you of someone, doesn’t it? Currently, you aren’t my best test subject. Maybe you would be if it wasn’t for all the murdering and property damage, but I suppose we’ll never know. I imagine someone could wipe those infractions from your record if they wanted to, but that would only be something to do for a dedicated, current employee. Kind of makes you want to come back, doesn’t it? I might even let you back in if you did. Even after all the things you’ve done. Because I’m just a better person.

Aperture Laboratories©

[autisticandroids]

📕 Post empty destiel - I always think the "gets out the empty and immediately they're very happy together, no communication issues" is not as satisfying as it might be - do you agree? Disagree? I'd love to see your take on what's become a kind of subgenre in the fandom

ok so. i Have Done This. however i have at least one other concept for post-empty cas. it doesn't really involve dean though. it's more a cas + jack and cas + angels processing fic. well, more like two small oneshots. if i wrote them i would probably end up adding more oneshots.

the first is, jack gets cas out of the empty and cas is like. O Woe Is Me. I Have Made A Terrible Mistake. You Should Have Left Me To- wait you what? sam and dean let you what? you defeated chuck how? okay will this will not do. stop being god immediately my beloved child. and jack is like. no. and cas looks at him very sternly and is like "well, when i was god, it was an awful thing and no one being should be forced to carry all that powers" and jack is like "eh i think it's fine actually." this is a fix-it fic To Me because it's just like. reassurance that jack is okay with being god, and that he's with his dad. like i've always been kind of horrified by godjack and this is a way of soothing that horror: by having the horror being presented as a possibility and then being debunked. and then maybe cas experiences basking in god's grace for the first time in his literal milennia of existence and he finds joy in it and wonders what it means to be basking in the grace of his son as he was built to bask in the grace of his father.

the second is, jack needs more angels to keep heaven running, and the empty is loud, and jack blows a hole in the empty to let a bunch of angels and demons out. the demons just go back to hell but jack keeps the angels powered down because he doesn't want a fullscale rebellion on his hands so he plans to wake them one at a time. cas ends up confronting specifically first uriel, then balthazar as they wake. i chose uriel and balthazar because i think they are the two angels who would have the most interesting reaction to where cas ends up. like, the other main options would be anna and hannah, but cas doesn't change much from when hannah knew him, and anna was fully fallen and ready to embrace what that meant. neither of them would really be shocked by him now. uriel would think the whole situation is funny funny. uriel killed angels, he went against god to serve lucifer. cas told him i still serve god and was ready to die a martyr's death. a few years later, cas had (probably) killed more angels than any other being in the universe, and served no god but dean winchester. uriel sees (and points out) the irony and the similarity, and he is particularly amused by cas' wet cat contrition. balthazar, in contrast, is nervous. the last time he saw cas, cas was about to become god, and cas killed him. balthazar isn't sure at first if he's been resurrected by godstiel to punish him some more for his treachery. but as he sees cas' mutilated trueform and starts to realize how long he's been gone, as cas fills him in on what happened. he asks cas if being god worked out for him, and cas says no. he realizes that he has no reason to be afraid of cas, but he still flinches when cas comes close. this hurts both of them; cas is overwhelmed by guilt, and balthazar still loves cas perhaps more than anyone else in the world, but balthazar remains viscerally afraid of him due to the trauma of being fucking murdered. there is a third encounter built into this fic, or rather a non-encounter. cas asks jack if he can go down to hell to see meg, because he has missed her and also it would be great to have some emotional support that isn't his own child. jack tells him that meg isn't in hell. only beings with unfinished business awoke in the empty. the ones who were at peace, the ones who had no desire to be alive again, stayed asleep. meg was one of these. cas sheds a few bitter tears for that.

[ohhalefire]

Derek Hale for the headcanons :)

[ from this post ]

hooooooo friend do i have some headcanons for you~

Headcanon A: realistic

Okay, so, hear me out: if we're following general rules of story structure and character development arcs (which I recognize JD never really did, but this is a theoretical, mental exercise anyway in which we wave a magic wand and have all the cast members and creative control we want, so bear with me), if we had more canon Derek content, he'd have eventually become an Alpha again.

Aside from the obvious need for sterek and him learning that his love doesn't necessarily equal pain, any other of Derek's personal arcs are pretty complete (for better or for worse). By the end of the show, he hates himself less, learns to trust people, etc. The one little loose end that isn't tied up before he leaves? It's that speech he gave - the "they get to be a name on our deadpool" speech.

That's... that's Alpha as fuck. It's out of left field. And we never explored that.

So Derek was raised in a house where his older sister was essentially groomed to be the perfect Alpha from childhood. He was literally born to be her beta, and not given the Alpha education she was. When he becomes an Alpha in canon, it's for a lot of reasons, sure (power, protecting Beacon Hills from the coming Alpha pack, etc) but it’s also out of necessity, and with an attitude of "I'm the best option out of all these other, very bad options". Of course this self-hating loner would be terrible at it: he learned from a young age to trust nobody and tell nobody anything, and we know from watching Scott that a good Alpha must trust their Pack implicitly.

But he's learned to trust Scott and the Pack by the end of the show. He learned how to be a good Alpha by being a good beta.

And yet, he's still a loner. He comes and goes. He can't commit to staying with the people he cares about - can't commit to letting them stay close at all, even geographically. This is clear in the finale episode, when Scott says something about how some people are not always there, but come when they're needed, which implies that Derek would continue to come and go even once Monroe is dealt with.

If you're writing a story arc for a character... isn't that incomplete? Isn't the finale of that arc coming to a time when he can actually keep people close, and stay that way?

There's a concept in storytelling called 'the lie the character believes', and it is supposed to keep the character in question from becoming the person they were meant to be - the person they, ideally, end up being at the end of the story (if that's the type of arc they get, and not a spiral-into-darkness type arc). The lie Derek believes is that he can't stick around anyone or get too close, or people will get hurt. That's clear. But if nothing about his life palpably changes when he eventually unlearns this lie in a theoretical future plot for him, then there is no point to finishing this unfinished story at all. Therefore, he needs to have a profound change to his life to reward him for learning this - ie, becoming an Alpha again. (Yes, him just having a fulfilling relationship is also a profound change he could have to his life, but if that's the only change, then it doesn't address that Alpha-AF speech that was the unfinished thread that started all this in the first place.)

How would this work in a possible future arc? Welp, I do have LOTS of opinions about it, but I am kind of writing a really massive fic featuring this very plot, so stay tuned, I guess~

Again, obviously, TW has a long history of NOT following story structure, of dropping arcs, etc. This is just a headcanon about where I personally would go if I were handed this story and told "finish it" with no limitations. :P

(Also, of course, the other unfinished thing is that he's nailed his heart shut in a box and won't let anyone touch it, and Stiles can open it right back up~)

Headcanon B: while it may not be realistic it is hilarious

Derek actually really likes halloween. It's his favourite time of year.

He would never admit to liking pretty much anything - he has a grumpy sourwolf reputation to uphold, after all - but it's the only time of year when he can flash his eyes and his fangs in public and not be afraid of the repercussions. It's like Werewolf Pride month for him: a safe(r) time to go outside as the person he really is, without hiding it.

But don't get me wrong - he wouldn't be caught dead in a costume. Unless Stiles twisted his arm :)

Headcanon C: heart-crushing and awful, but fun to inflict on friends

When everyone forgets Stiles, so does Derek. And briefly, that turns him into an omega.

He's forgotten Peter, too, and while that means that he forgets he had any living family save Cora (because it means he forgets he and Malia are cousins), that doesn't affect him the way forgetting Stiles does.

He's in South America, as far away from home as he can be without an ocean in the way... and yet suddenly he barely remembers what home even means. He struggles to keep his connection to Scott - barely remembers why it was even there, though he knows he would have died for that kid at one point - and tries to bond to the Alpha that Cora's with instead to try to make up for it, but it doesn't work. He is unmoored, untethered, adrift.

And then he takes to floating in pools.

Again, I might write a canon-compliant fic about how I think he actually helped pull Stiles back into reality remotely by floating in said pools to remember him, so I won't go farther, but yeah

Headcanon D: unrealistic, but I will disregard canon about it because I reject canon reality and substitute my own.

I am a very fix-the-canon type of person, so most of my thoughts on TW are canon-compliant, but I do have this to offer:

Derek has read a whole bunch of Star Wars novelizations because Stiles won't stop going on about the movies. He won't watch the films... but some of those books are pretty good. :P

[ilre-writes]

Masterlist of everything I’ve written and posted*

*I’ll try to update this after every fic I’ve written but no promises on immediate... yeah.

A:TLA

Two Guys on a Raft Who (don't) Want to Be There - part 1 of The Raft AU [FINISHED]

Hakoda and Zuko end up on a raft AU. Inspired by an ask by Muffinlance which said that this was apparently the OG premise for Salvage.

Hold Me Close (and hold me fast) - part 2 of The Raft AU [FINISHED]

By water, by blood, and by right.

An analysis of Zuko as Hakoda's adopted... something, told in three parts throughout canon. The next installment of my Hakoda and Zuko on a Raft AU.

Ang mamatay nang dahil sa 'yo - [FINISHED] "To die because of you [the country]".

Essentially a writing exercise talking about death throughout the series.

Dishonor on Ozai's Cow - [UNFINISHED AND DISCONTINUED, chapter 10 onwards is/will be a plot synopsis]

Based on this tumblr thread. Ozai must capture the Blue Spirit to restore his bending

ship of fools - [UNFINISHED]

Based on this tumblr thread. A banished Zuko and a not-banished Azula aboard the Wanyi. Slice of life/episodic

I only say morning - [NO GUARANTEES]

One must wonder how in the show, Zuko and Iroh manage to survive on a raft seemingly without food or water. or AU where during his banishment, Zuko… befriends the ocean I guess? (inspired by muffinlance's breakfast friendfish au)

Good omens

Under The Sun - [FINISHED] standalone crack, honestly this was supposed to be posted after an overarching work as a oneshot in that universe, but I don’t think that overarching work will ever exist so...

I will rise like the ashes from a building as it burns - [FINISHED*] specifically Book Omens

*Was supposed to be longer, I lost interest in finishing the concept so I just wrapped it up and made it coherent

He could- he could do anything he wanted now. No adversary. No clandestine meetings in parks and cafeterias, no one tutting at him about his cool watch and his fast car and his weekend activities. He could run over every pedestrian in London tomorrow. He could burn down the Louvre next week then leisurely have a cup of tea.

take a tour of babylon - [FINISHED] 1st installment of a Crowley-is-Satan AU where instead of ruling Hell, he leaves and spends his time hanging out with Aziraphale

après moi, le déluge (caesura) - [UNFINISHED] 2nd installment of the Crowley-is-Satan AU where he left 2000 years early (s2 edition)

Ace Attorney

Mainline

A Beginner’s Guide to Faking Your Death (ao3) - [FINISHED]

1. Understand why you must die.

There was no other recourse after all the horror that was done to him, and through him.

wait of the world - [FINISHED]

Franziska has never been her age. That takes her a while to rectify.

DGS [DGS 2 SPOILERS FOR ALL FICS]

I’ll await that trumpet’s wail (ao3) - [FINISHED]

POV you are Kazuma Asogi searching for answers.

and alum for mouth sores - [FINISHED] drabble series

Two men met one night. Two men walked away. This changes more than they wanted, yet less than expected.

bridgeburner - [FINISHED]

He was a damn fool at the time, dazzled by the blinding, ruby glint in the lamplight as he played hero—

Hold it!

Mister Asogi only had that one ring.

But how could—Klint was dead already.

PJO

in the wake of poseidon - [FINISHED]

It’s four in the morning and the husband isn’t home yet from his night out. Sweet married life, cried the newspaper comic from this morning.

[driftingglass]

It’s Done. (What’s Next?)

Like I promised, all selected works I announced on this post have been deleted. 

There are 7 remaining works, with 6 completed, and one unfinished work recently published in October, 2021. I’m considering that part of this “new chapter” phase of my fanfic authorship. Though calling it an “authorship” seems kind of pretentious at this point...

Anyway. Thank you for understanding and being so supportive. The response has been full of kindness, patience, and gratitude that feels undeserved. Fanfic writers everywhere are lucky to have readers like you. 

If you’re interested in the future of this blog, my AO3 account, and more to potentially come your way, read on...

I’ll be changing my AO3 author name and Tumblr username.

This one has been sort of a long-time coming. I’ve thought of a few names, but nothing has stuck as of yet. When that comes, I’ll announce what my new username will be on Tumblr, so that anyone who follows me knows that the name will change 24 hours after that. 

The first new fanfic I will publish under this new name and phase will be a BakuDeku story. 

The first chapter will be posted in September. I’ll be doing a week of announcements and plenty of teasers all throughout August regarding the summary, plot, etc. The outline is near-complete, and the story itself will end up around 20 chapters. 

There will be an established publishing schedule to stay consistent.

I haven’t decided yet if it will be a one week or two week turnaround. It all depends on my work schedule, my personal life, and my original writing projects. I’ll have a better idea when the time comes. 

Yes, there will be one fic I work on at a time. This will prevent the issue of impulsively publishing fics that I love that get a lot of attention, but end up never finishing. 

I will only be working on one fic at a time. 

This is part of me learning how to handle my mental illness more responsibly so I can better respect your expectations as a reader. I hope you can understand.

So when that new fic is published in September, I will focus solely on that until it’s completed. 

I may start a Patreon account. 

BUT ONLY IF... readers (both old and new) are interested in this. 

This is by absolutely no means a requirement. This is only if people are interested in a concept like a private Discord server (to ask questions about fics, chat, share ideas, etc.), a view into chapters a week before they publish (depending on the schedule), or anything else that may come as exclusive. 

I’m not even sure if I’ll do this, yet. Was just an idea that might be fun if readers want to feel a part of a community. We will see. 

Let me know if this is of interest. If not, I’ll sweep it under the rug and never bring it up again. 

I’ll be way more active on Tumblr to answer questions, talk to new readers, engage with communities I’ve left for a long time, etc.

I’m still very much a fandom loner, but I want to be more open in engaging in conversations if that’s something of interest. 

Want to say another thank you.

To the readers, writers, and celebrators of storytelling who have not only supported me, but anyone else who has chosen to go through these tough decisions and are deciding to reinvent themselves for a new chapter. 

I want to write better for you, and deliver stories that you deserve.

Thanks for everything. 

- Drifty

[sneverussape]

snape fic recs - old magic/epic worldbuilding

related to this post. i decided to dig through my bookmarks and wrack my brain for some of the fics i remember reading that scratched this particular itch. this will have fics that had the characters practice old magic and are more focused on the adults/hogwarts staff rather than the kids, or if the kids would be mentioned they would not be the main povs. these will be multi-chaptered, often long (and obviously au), and some of them have pairings. please heed the tags and warnings that the individual authors would have left; what you consume is your own responsibility. the fics are also listed in no particular order:

In His Name by moira of the mountain -  After the Final Battle, a fallen Snape is hidden, bearing Tom Riddle's last Unforgivable. There are three Secret Keepers and a Muggle healer to protect him, but will it be love - or an obligation - which finally frees him?  - no pairings // kinda brotp between mcgonagall, snape, and hagrid // also unfinished so fair warning. the lore is so rich though, it feels like how magic in hp should have been.

Death’s Dominion by MMADfan - Severus Snape’s life was changed when he was hit by an errant spell, and he comes to a decision that defies Dumbledore’s wishes. Even the fate of the wizarding world is altered by this ill-cast curse and Snape’s subsequent resolve.Long after the spell has dissipated, its effects continue echoing in the lives of Severus, Albus, Minerva, and Hermione, and they bring with them a shadowy figure whom Snape does not trust and whose motivations and influence on Minerva are murky. Not all is as it seems, and conspiracies and schemes swirl around Severus as he continues on his path of deception to his final confrontation with the Dark Lord. A “Light” fic of love, loyalty, and redemption. - mm/ad, ss/hg // this fic. is LEGENDARY. this is one of those fics that require your full attention and will eventually suck you in and spit you back out with your whole life changed. it will take you on a whole rollercoaster of emotions. the mm/ad pairing is quite an obvious one but the ss/hg is a subtle one and it’s more friendship throughout the whole fic than an actual romantic relationship. the ocs (a lot of them minerva’s family) are also SO well-made you’ll forget they’re not canon. 

FALLING FURTHER IN by kaz2 - Hermione begins to learn something of the man behind the dark sarcasms of the classroom. - ss/hg, also features wolfstar, brotp between the faculty and severus // this was one of the fics i had in mind when i did that last post about missing old hp stories. this was started in the early 2000s and the author had free rein on a lot of the material. flitwick and sprout are married here and are the cutest things on earth. it’s also set during the summer leading into harry’s final year so all the teachers are staying at hogwarts and are all good friends with each other. hermione is there as well because her parents had been murdered by death eaters and so she’s spending it with them. the way the ww is written here is so...epic, jkr couldn’t even. snape lives in an invisible tower called serpens tower, the teachers often go to a brothel-which-isn’t-really-a-brothel in hogsmeade, the other teachers often baby severus subtly because he’s the youngest, wolfstar are tolerable and remus actually learns to brew his own damn wolfsbane, etc. the story is in story format until near the end iirc and then the author outlines what happens next rather than writing it out. i can’t blame them; it really is a massive undertaking.

The Crest by sheankalor -  Dumbledore only holds partial say in who the Head of House is. Severus Snape is nominated as the Head of Slytherin, but has to pass a final test. Can he? Does he work well with the other three Heads of House? And just what is The Crest? - no pairings // staff fic // one of the rare one-shots but it’s in an au which feeds into other stories // i loooove the lore in this. it provides an explanation as to how a house head is approved by the school and i’m a sucker for any fic that has the faculty getting along.

Balance by rabbit and -v-Jinx-v - Hogwarts is under siege, and it's going to take everyone to find a way out of danger. - no pairings // brotp minerva and severus, also harry and draco form a friendship // this is one of my personal faves. it’s not only old magics but the entirety of hogwarts come together to battle against dark forces (not even death eaters but...balrogs...and other things). there’s no build-up to it; you enter the story after the battle’s already begun and then you get taken along for the ride. also has a part where the heads of houses meet the founders and there’s this epic dance that’s reminiscent of the danse macabre in The Graveyard Book (if you’ve read that you’d know what i mean).

Another World by Aeryn Alexander - Detention with Snape turns into something of an adventure for Hermione and Ginny, not to mention Professor Lupin, as they all discover that Hogwarts holds a terrible secret that none of them want to learn. - ss/hg, rl/gw // this fic took me by surprise because i didn’t expect it to go the way it did based on the summary lmao. the 4 basically get trapped in a mirror version of hogwarts after a potions accident, and the mirror world has literal demons in it. they have to find a way to get back into the real world while not getting killed at the same time. i actually liked lupin in this one and he and severus form a tenuous friendship. 

In One Spirit by mavidian - Voldemort and Dumbledore prepare for war and survival. Plans go awry, intrigues abound and nothing is what it seems. Snape created the Dark Mark but that mistake may cost him everything. Can Hermione be his saving grace? - ss/hg but it’s such a slow build you barely notice it during even the first 20 or so chapters because he’s his usual asshole self and they’re too busy trying to protect hogwarts // the concept of this fic and the lore it built up...wow. the faculty are all friends and they’re trying very hard to protect hogwarts using their own magics and their own clever schemes (war brooms? battle wands? blessing tree? filch even gets powers!). voldemort is also equally devious here and snape has loving pureblood parents! (not that it matters, he’s still an ass, but then it’s nice to read about him having a nice family for once). neville also steps up as a member of one of the Traditional Families so he’s quite a BAMF here. 

yo pls feel free to add your own recs to this post, i’m pretty sure there are loads more out there!

[usernamesuggestionsarefunny]

Ok, so Spiderman.

I still hate the multiverse as a concept and how much it cheapens everything that happens in the MCU, won't explain why in detail again, but I admit I was sold on the childhood nostalgia with the previous two Peter Parkers and absolutely adored having them interact together (I wouldn't have minded if everything had been a dream or something though). I loved the jokes, the sort of friendship that formed between them, everything.

Seems the writters put a bit of effort into not making this completely sitcom-y and nostalgia cash grab, I am not gonna lie, and I was pleasantly surprised. Although it also had a bit of that vibe, but the plot was solid enough for a Marvel film. Maybe not, I am bad at spotting plot holes lol.

That scene where Andrew!Peter saves MJ is GOLD, so emotional, so fitting. They managed to give his unfinished story some sort of closure in the few minutes of screentime he had. How is that not AMAZING? Makes me even wish for a third TAS movie where he moves on.

I liked Tobey's moments as well although I was a bit disappointed he didn't talk more about his life and how he is doing in that universe, giving us some closure on his relationship with MJ, whether they are married, have children idk he looks like a dad you have to admit it.

The scene where May died was very emotional and sad. Now, I loved this version of May, she was fun, sweet, affectionate and motherly, and I am a sucker for angst (And Tom Holland's crying on cue abilities lmao), so it is not the death itself what bothered me or even that she is this universe's version of Uncle Ben, but I did think the famous phrase and her pushing Peter to do something as dangerous as trying to save those villains was sort of forced and inconsistent with her character in previous movies. I mean seriously, in the first Spiderman movie she was telling Peter: "If you see danger run the other way", and we didn't get much character development on how she changed her views or whether her desire for Peter to be safe depended on his apparent helplessness and changed upon learning of his powers. Not enough scenes to show this. Even if there were though, it seems letting go of Peter or admiring his urge to help others is something she learnt from him off screen and not the other way around despite her being his tutor. Willing to be proven wrong but I doubt it.

So yeah, I am sorry, I loved her character, I loved her death scene and I am looking forward to reading angst fics describing the effect this will have on Peter lol but I am not sold on her saying the famous "with great power comes great responsability" phrase and the way they only killed her so she could say that and Tom's Peter could have something in common with the other two. Seems like a very last minute creative choice that would have been better had we been shown scenes in previous movies of May being Peter's inspiration. This could have easily avoided also by having Tom's Peter recall an MCU Uncle Ben during a conversation with May.

May could have still died though, just with an original reason as to why. Yes, with her helping, but not necessarily as the main inspiration. Maybe in a way that showed her concern for Peter and dismay he was doing something as dangerous as portrayed in previous films. Similar as to what happened in the movie, but I would have enjoyed it more if she had lost herself a little, you know what I mean? More panic in her actions and reactions. She is a civilian, not a superhero. This is her BABY BOY fighting a dangerous man willing to kill him and she is seeing something like that up close real time on front of her for the very first time!! Panic a bit more, damn it!!!!!! (Nothing to do with the actress, she was great, this is about the writting/direction).

-

The ending was very sad.

Peter is completely alone :'(

Left me with a truly bad taste in my mouth lol. But a good bad taste in my mouth if that is even possible.

Looking forward to see what they are going to do with his character now but at the same time... bad taste. I don't know how to explain it lol

[aquilacalvitium]

BESTIE what fandoms do you write for, drop your ao3 or whatever you use. if its on here drop a link, please id love to read whatever youve written even if i dont understand the characters

EEEEEEEE! *happy stims*

I have two fanfics on AO3, one unfinished Jacksepticeye fanfic that's an OC insert. It will probably remain unfinished because said OC has changed so much since I started writing it that I've just lost motivation to continue. That and I never had a good idea for an ending. But eh, ya never know I might pick it up again one day.

The other is a Black Veil Brides fanfic. Long story short, they're a band that released a concept album in 2013 with an accompanying movie called Legion of the Black to tell the story. I fucking LOVE that movie and decided to write a fanfic for it. It's another OC insert, but this time with a character that I made specifically for this universe. All you need to know going into it is that 1. There are a ton of content warnings, all of which are listed in the description and before each chapter and 2. Ashley, the bassist left the band in 2019 and I wrote this fic in 2020/2021. I had to keep him in because he was in the movie but I also wanted to include Lonny, the guy who replaced him, so I made him one of the main characters. So yeah every character in that story apart from Maracheck and any side characters are actual members of the band. (Fun fact, two side characters are named after 1. Someone who was part of the band in it's VERY early days and 2. The director who helped make the films and directs most of their music videos.)

Sorry this turned into a super long rant but here's the link directly to my BVB fanfic

You can find my JSE fanfic there too :3

[mashnotesofthemythopoeic]

Fic Masterpost

So, in the spirit of full disclosure - all the X-Files fiction I’ve ever written, as memory serves. And some thoughts on how this fine fandom has taught me to write. 

Starbuck (circa 1998)

I’m not kidding, this is really embarrassing, absolute beginner stuff, but we all start somewhere and it’s interesting in an evolutionary sense. I found these on  Zuffy's X-Files Homepage.

Without The Bee  -  I couldn’t bring myself to look at this one. That title says it all. 

Agents of Change: Return from Antarctica  -  Obsessions—the Scott Expedition and the X-Files—collide. Rough early days, but probably with hints of potential. A legit turkey of a title! 

Penumbra 1998 - 2009

(I’m not going to bother with Gossamer links.) Learning the ropes as I went. Oblivious to so, oh so many things. Rickety, untrained writing, but mindlessly in love with creatively inspired by the churlish charms of our two razzle-dazzle creatures of the night. 

Contact High  -  The last line was plagiarized, pure and simple, from one of Gerald Durrell’s books about his childhood in Corfu. It’s bothered me ever since, so the big thing I took from this experience: by all means steal the rhythm of something, but at least change a word or two. 

Vespers  -  Very stoned ramblings. Inspired by John Leonard’s X-Files essay in The Nation that I’d managed to extract off a microfiche in a university library. I have a soft spot for this fic, probably because Khyber picked it very analytically apart, which was like having Jonathan Galassi or someone suddenly pay attention to you. He introduced me to 'show, don't tell', a paralyzing concept if ever there was one, which I yet only fitfully grasp.

Black Hole Season  -  Still breakin’ all the rules. This one was hugely popular, and amidst all the ballyhoo, Punk Maneuverability emailed me and quietly said: ‘Please pick a POV and a tense and stick with it’—vastly important advice that I was probably too full of myself to heed. This one won a Spooky award, one of the greatest moments of my life that I had to keep completely to myself (therein lies the painful crux of fanfiction.)

Parabiosis  -  I was eating cereal and flipping through the dictionary, and there it was: parabiosis. Who knows what it means. I didn’t have a computer, and was working in the mountains, so I wrote the whole thing out on paper several times, unimaginable now. It flowed through my brain as I scrambled through the woods in the evenings. Nothing will ever be that easy again.

Honeymoon Video  -  Promising title, not much there.

Blue-Sky Conjecture  -  unfinished Scully/Kresge

The Cretan Paradox  -  Americana. JET sent me an ear of corn from a corn maze, because she’s thoughtful like that. 

Free Beer Night at the Astrodome  -  Cut years ago in despair out of Heuvelmans’; I think part of it went back in. 

Fathoms Five  -  In one of Gerald Durrell’s books about his childhood in Corfu, his brother steps in a swamp and says that his shoe is ‘full of fathoms five’, so that’s where I got that Shakespearean misquote. I resisted writing this for a long time, but it would creep into my mind as I was falling asleep. I think this is a pretty good story, but it could have used one more draft, so since then, I’ve resolved never to rush to post. Events of this year kind of date this story now. However, it’s rather pleasant to read about a careless, joint-passing, COVID-free 2020.

Fathoms Five Outtakes and gag reels - Sorry about the glitchy old site and bad font.

A random smut biscuit  -  Uncharacteristic, I know!

Octopods  - I loved this one, but it never fit in anywhere.

Maundy Thursday  

Untitled Snippet 

World’s Tiniest Zombie Fic

∩dsᴉpɐᴉsᴉnɯ -  Very flawed, because it was written and posted under a fund-raiser time crunch. I really should overhaul it. The X-Files was ending and I was so depressed when I wrote it, and that’s an unfortunate tincture to saddle a story with. 

The Inscrutable Pair  -  How The X-Files taught me to embrace ambiguity. Goreyesque nonsense à la Gashlycrumb Tinies that also troubles itself to rip off Eliot and Homer. 

(7-Year Cold-Turkey Hiatus From the X-Files)

Gave away DVDs, got some perspective, did a little growing up, tried and failed to write a screenplay, two novels, etc. Then they put The X-Files on Netflix. One lonely night, I thought: what could it hurt to watch Darkness Falls? 44 minutes later, with shaking hands, going for the hard stuff—Redux II. Lol, the hard stuff of ancient philes. 

The Mythopoeic*  2016  - 

Heuvelmans’ On the Track - The nearly suicidal heartbreak that surrounds this story—it was the first X-Files fic I got bogged down in and couldn’t finish, and it left me with a huge mental stigma—sweetens its completion. Under its shadow I tried to become a Real Writer, without success. Give things time, I learned. Just keep working hard. The initial failure of this story taught me stuff that I now wouldn’t trade for anything. 

*I came back just intending to hang out with Philes, and didn’t want to make a big deal, and had no intention of posting fic, so I gave little thought to the name. But, characteristically ostentatious name, check. Still keepin’ it real, pure and self-taught, a bit closer to what Chuck Palahniuk calls a ‘kitchen-table MFA’. Check.

But what I really want to say is this. It wouldn’t have occurred to me to try writing if I hadn’t been in this marvelous fandom, having the method and the means demonstrated all around me by wonderfully competent and encouraging writers for whom I felt such reverence that having them reach out or comment on stuff was earth-shaking. They showed the way, and I followed. Hands on my heart, friends, I owe you everything.

[circuscarnage]

Birthday Escapade.

A Malleus Draconia and reader birthday fic.

Words: 2488.

Coloured banners were strung up on the walls, decorating the Diasomnia dorm in an almost welcoming glow. Black and green lines of fabric, embroidered with the inviting message of celebration. What had once been a room of polite gathering, had transformed into a much liver scene. Purple vines stuck out from the ground, acting more as decoration to the party, mimicking the witches of thorns power. Tables covered with delectable food as far as the eye could see. Edible works of art displayed for anyone to reach out and take. The most lavished of cakes being saved for the main table. The centrepiece of the room, almost impossible to miss, was a black sign coated in thorns, spindling a twisted birthday wish. Lilia had wasted no expense making sure everything was perfect. He had planned the entire thing. After all, this wasn't just anyone's birthday. It certainly was a change of pace for the normally dark and dreary castle.  

The entire Diasomnia dorm seemed more colourful than usual, and not just aesthetic wise. The sombre atmosphere was lifted with the sounds of delightful laughter and idle celebration. Students of the dorm gathered in the main foyer, enjoying themselves as they chatted away to their fellow classmates without a care in the world. However, the most important aspect of this celebration was missing.

Malleus Draconia was no where to be found. 

His guards, Sebek and Silver, had been scouting the dorm trying to find their lost master. They had checked down every hallway and searched all the rooms. Not a single stone was left unturned nor a speck of dust lingered in the process. They were at their wits end. Sebek's voice boomed throughout the dorm, ricocheting off the stone castle walls. Malleus's name sounded akin to thunder as it stormed every inch of the perimeter. It was uncertain which would give out first. His voice or the other students eardrums. 

You, however, knew better than to waste time on searching Diasomnia. If Malleus had fled, there was no way he would stick to the confines of the dorm. That was just too simple. Begrudgingly you left the Diasomnia dorm and headed back towards the hall of mirrors. When thinking of a safe heaven, there was only one place that came to mind. You knew exactly where he would be.

Ramshackle. It was very different compared to the other dorms. A shabby and old building that was as creepy as it was comforting. An uneven fence carved from iron surrounded the perimeter, acting more like a cage, warning those who pass by not to trespass. The vacant space and lack of activity made people wonder if it was simply just unfinished or abandoned. It certainly looked run down, even more so before Azul had it refurbished to extend his business. Luckily for you, that plan never came to fruition, so you could keep the haunted mansion you called home. 

As you approached, you could see the last remnants of winter still holding onto the Ramshackle dorm. Snow melted into the ground, slowly decaying into the soil as the seasons begin to change. The sugar coated season sluggishly torn away to be replaced with another. It wasn't hard to miss him. His raven black hair and pointed horns stuck out among the crisp white scenery. He stood against the decaying tree, leaning into the wood as if he was trying to merge himself into the plant. He was looking across the garden, but turned his head around when hearing your approach. "Ah, human." He greeted you casually, giving an affirmative nod of his head. "To what honour do I owe you this visit?" 

"Where have you been?" You questioned him, finally making your way up the steps and standing in front of him. He seemed taken aback at your forceful question. Why, he had just greeted you with a polite hello and you were already interrogating him. "The party has already started, and you're not even there!"  

Malleus quirked his head to the side. "Oh, was that today?" There was something different about his voice. The way his words lingered in the air, laced with a playful tone that spelled mischief. You looked down at his attire. Black dress shirt with a white suit jacket over the top. Black and green sash. There was no way he dressed up like that on a whim. This surely couldn't have been a coincidence. Malleus noticed your stare, lingering on his outfit for a little longer than necessary. "Must have slipped my mind." 

"Please don't tell me someone forgot to invite you to your own birthday." You hated to think he was acting like this because of some kind of petty vendetta against you. It wasn't anything new that people often forgot to invite him to events, whether that be the dorm leader meeting or social gatherings, but his own birthday? That must have cut deep.

Malleus chuckled. "Fuhuhuhu. That would be quite entertaining, wouldn't it? Forgetting to invite me to my own birthday. How quaint." He waved his hand. "No, I received an invite. I was even enjoying myself. And I appreciate how much effort Lilia put into the décor. I've just never been the one to enjoy these types of parties. It just feels so... Strange." Malleus looked down at his attire, emerald eyes observing the trinkets that decorated the white jacket. The handmade broach that resembled the curved horns that stuck out from his head. The black and green coloured badge that all to obviously drew attention to the date. Reminding everyone within a mile radius just who the special birthday boy was. He was used to being adored in lavished clothing, being of royal decent, so having an outfit that was traditional for many others was relieving. 

"The concept of birthdays... Forgive me but I've never embraced them fully, never needed to." You gave Malleus a quizzitive look, tilting your head a little to the side, imploring him to elaborate. He understood your plight and began to explain. "Compared to humans, fae live for an unnaturally long time. Our lifespans far surpass your own. Why, generations from now I'll still be alive. Wise with time and knowledge. Watching over the world behind the thicket of thorns. And you'll-" He stopped mid sentence. There was no need to continue. You both knew where you would be generations from now. Malleus blinked, the slightest glint of sadness present in his eyes. Possessing the power of longevity was something that many craved to have, but needless to say it did come with its consequences. The burden weighed on the back of his mind like an oncoming storm. 

Malleus cleared his throat, "Very strange indeed. You humans celebrate yearly the date of your birth, yet to us fae it is nothing more than a number. Even though I wish I could feel the same connection to it that you do. Maybe then I wouldn't feel such like an outcast..." Malleus blinked as he felt something touch his head. Unconsciously his hand had reached up towards his horns, bringing attention one of the many aspects about him that was different to humans. He was proud of his fae heritage, but always felt like it held him back when trying to forge connections. "Tell me, human." He brought his hand back down. "Am I forever cursed to be an outcast from a gathering? Even one of my own terms? I'm always one to be vacant, not on my own accord. My invitation being left blank while others have been sealed. So forgive my absence when for once I'm expected to be there."

"Tsunotarou-" You had to stop yourself, almost biting down on your tongue. Now possessing the knowledge of his name, it seemed needless to try and use the old nickname you gave him. It was sentimental, in a way. A name that only you could call him. A name made up on the spot yet seemed to fit a little too well. It always made your heart flutter whenever you used it. The way Malleus's eyes would light up in amusement, entertained by the fact anyone would ever consider calling him something so simple. Sometimes it was hard to conceal the corners of his mouth twinging upward in delight. You apologised and corrected yourself, "I mean, Malleus." It was an easy mistake to make. The way his actual name slipped off your tongue somehow sounded wrong. You had gotten a little too comfortable with that nickname. You hoped Malleus wouldn't mind.

To your surprise, Malleus grinned. A slight chuckle slipped between his lips. He was more taken aback by the fact that had felt the need to correct yourself then the use of his nickname. He was aware of your caution, and reassured you. "You may address me however you wish, child of man." Malleus turned his head to the side, looking off into the distance, and placed an hand thoughtfully on his chin. "I must admit, I have grown quite fond of that little nickname you call me. I do not mind being called that name," His attention was brought back to you, dazzling green eyes locking with your own. He huffed out a small laugh. "If you are the one to address me, that is."

You nodded your head, secretly gracious that he was allowing you to continue using that name. But you needed to address his previous statement. "It's understandable that you would feel this way. Being ostracized from a group can be quite intimidating." You sighed. "Trust me, I've been there. And sometimes it feels like you'll never truly belong." Malleus raised his brow. Were you trying to help him feel better or worse?

"But believe me when I say that the people there want you to be there too. They want you to enjoy yourself just as they have. And..." Your words trailed off. Your own voice getting quieter and quieter until even you couldn't hear it anymore. Words did not fail you at that moment. It was clear what you wanted to say. Whether or not you had the strength to say it was a different matter. Your eyes were in agreement, preferring to look at the ground below you rather than the person in front. Was it really that difficult to show your own emotions? You did genuinely enjoy your time together, and wanted it to last longer. Yet somehow whenever you tried to express this fact to him, something always stopped you. A defence mechanism that instinctively held you back. You looked back at Malleus. He stood still, patiently waiting for you to continue. You were thankful for his tolerance. Giving a curt nod of your head, you took a deep breath in, and exhaled. "...I want you to be there. I want you to be happy, on your special day." 

You braced yourself, ready for any sort of negative response. But as you waited in anticipation for a verbal reply, Malleus gave none. Instead he began to laugh. A slight chuckle that started out as a growl, but then gradually grew into a light laugh. He brought his hand up to his mouth, trying to cover it up, but he would have to try harder than that to stifle this laugh. You were confused. Was it something you said? Did it sound condescending? Needy? Selfish? That wasn't your intention at all! You just wanted to give him some reassurance.

His laughter eventually died down, allowing him to breathe steadily again. "Child of man, how presumptuous of you." A light titter escaped from his lips again. Whatever he had found entertaining about your statement, he clearly wasn't done. You furrowed your brow in suspicion as Malleus calmed himself yet again. "I do not need a celebration or to be surrounded by guests to be happy." He took another step closer, towering over you like a gargoyle, but it was not intimidating. The soft look on his face quelled any fears of threatening nature. It was actually quite surprising how peaceful he looked. "With you, I already am."

You had to turn your head away at that, letting out a small squeak that sounded more attune to a quack. Hearing such a genuine sentiment from him felt like wildfire had struck your heart, and it felt like it wasn't going to subside anytime soon. It was wishful thinking, but you hoped you didn't make your answer too evident. However, giving such an obvious expression meant it was easy for him to pick up. Malleus smirked at your reaction. Instinctively he placed his hand upon your head, smoothing his thumb gently over the grooves in your hair. He thought it was cute. Like a docile pet receiving praise.

You waved his hand off of you, not needing to feel anything more at the moment. You had wasted enough time standing here. It would be best to return the birthday boy back to his dorm. "I think we had better get back, your guards are in a frenzy over your disappearance." Malleus let out a small sigh. It was time to return to the party. After all, he wouldn't be considered a very good host if he was missing for the entire event. How else was he suppose to show he was worthy of peoples trust if he did not throw a good party? He was ready to return to the dorm, with you accompanying him. "Yes, I think I've troubled them for long enough."

You laughed, thinking about Sebek and Silver stumbling over themselves trying to find their dorm leader. Lilia wouldn't be too bothered, you thought, if you returned Malleus in time for his celebration. Turning around on your heels, you lead the way back towards the gate, eager to return to the party. At last, you could finally have a piece of that delectable looking cake. It had been on your mind the second you stepped into the dorm.

Before you could place a hand on the gate, Malleus called from behind. "And human?" You stopped in your tracks and turned to face him. He stood still, refusing to move unless he spoke. His face bore the same amused express, but this time it was different. It was gentle. His eyes holding nothing but appreciation for the human that stood before him. Someone who didn't see him as the terrifying figurehead of the Draconia family that so many made him out to be. Someone who wasn't afraid around him. Someone he was very thankful to have met. "Thank you, for seeking me out." He stepped forward, now walking by your side. It felt good for him to have someone beside him that didn't cower in fear nor turn away in intimidation. It made him feel accepted. "And for escorting me back."