#I drew this at 3 am and now I am going to bed FAREWELL FRIENDS

[risto-licious]

one punch kiss (risto/oc)

[highonchocolate]

Take Two: The Guardian in Gotham Chapter 3

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Bruce sat at the head of the long oak dining table and waited for his children to make their way into the room for dinner. They came in as a staggered group; Jason arguing about some novel with Dick while Tim and Damian brought up the back as they discussed their patrol routes for the night. After Alfred and Damian helped serve the food, Bruce cleared his throat pointedly and waited for everyone to pay attention. 

Once everyone had looked up from their discussions he spoke. “Alfred has a friend named Gina; and she had called this evening to see if her granddaughter could stay with us. She lives in Paris; but her classmates were bullying her and her parents thought a change of scenery would do her some good. I have agreed to let her stay with us in the Manor.” Even before he had finished speaking the table erupted with different questions from his children.

“Bruce are you sure this is wise?” Tim questioned over Dick’s ecstatic squealing (“I’ve always wanted a little sister!!!”), and Jason’s grumbling (“Shut the fuck up Dickhead. I don’t know why the fuck B is bringing someone into this house to live with this dysfunctional family.”). Ignoring his siblings; he pressed on “I mean, how are we going to hide Batman and the vigilante stuff from her?” As Bruce paused to answer Damian stood up and scowled. “Tt. This is a moronic decision. Inform me of when this girl is to arrive and inform  her to stay out of my way.” He lifted his chin and crossed his arms before marching out of the room.

After Damian’s outburst, Jason looked over from where he was arguing with Dick and added his input “Timbo’s right, B. How are we going to hide that from her?” 

“We’ll have to make sure at least two of you remain in the manor each night so that she doesn’t get too suspicious.” He answered. “Now, the only reason I agreed to letting her stay here was namely for Alfred, and also because of what her classmates did to her” 

“What do you mean, Bruce?” Dick questioned. “Did they like assault her or something?”

“Or something” He responded grimly before sending the photo to all three of them. 

As they looked at the photo, he observed their reactions to the image. Dick was not smiling for once, and his sunny blue eyes had darkened to an icy frost. His whole body was tense; and his jaw was so clenched his teeth were grinding together. Jason was standing up with two guns locked and loaded in his hands. He had also managed to procure a knife from somewhere, which appeared as he leant forward and asked “What were the names of the people who did this again?” in a completely lethal tone. Tim, already hacking away at his computer responded “Not there yet, but from what I can find out, she goes to College Francois DuPont and she’s fifteen.” He briefly looked up and made eye contact with Bruce before asking “How fast do you think we can get our lawyers onto those kids B?” At the declarations of his children, Bruce closed his eyes and pinched the bridge of his nose between two fingers. “We can not file any lawsuits yet, not without Marinette’s permission.” He answered, sighing tiredly. “Marinette?” Dick questioned. “Marinette Dupain-Cheng,” Tim responded instantly. “That’s her name.” 

“She will be coming on Monday, and Alfred will be picking her up from the airport. She is also going to attend GA, so someone please tell Damian.” Bruce said as he stood from the table. “Now hurry up, we have patrol tonight, and there have been rumors about a drug ring near Crime Alley.”

---

After coming back from the hospital and having a sleepover Thursday night, Chloé and Adrien were completely sleep-deprived as they trudged into school the next morning. Settling into her usual seat beside Sabrina, Chloé silently thanked all the Kwami that she didn’t have to sit next to Lila. Halfway though class, Mrs. Bustier suddenly frowned and looked at the back row. “Does anyone know where Marinette is? She still hasn’t arrived yet!”

“Probably still sleeping at home! She’ll come in completely late as usual!” Alya cackled. At her words, Chloé felt her entire body heat up with righteous indignity. She opened her mouth to tell that wannabe tabloid reporter to get her facts straight, but then Adrien caught her eye and shook his head. He then pointed at his phone, and mimed unlocking it before pointing to her. Catching the hint, she checked her messages to see that Marinette had sent them a text.

FashionableBug: Mari said to tell Chloé and Adrien not to do anything to Lila or anyone else that starts making stuff up. (From Luka btw)

You’reUnderAgreste: Me-ouch, My Lady. I would never!

QueenofMean: shut it with the puns, Noir. Maribug, I will only listen to you because you’re injured and I’m not going to go against your wishes.

Putting her phone away, Chloé resigned herself to a miserable school day. 

---

After school, she walked into Marinette’s room and flopped dramatically onto the chaise, before letting out a long groan.

“That bad?” Mari chuckled as she scribbled sketched one-handedly in her design notebook. 

“You have no idea.” Chloé responded. 

Their conversation continued into mundane things, such as everyone’s patrol routes, and various theories on who Hawkmoth was. Totally normal topics for teenagers. As the day drew to a close, they made plans for everyone to come over to start packing the next day before Chloé left the bakery and headed home.

---

Come Saturday, Marinette, Chloé and Luka spent the morning playing board games one handed “to level the playing field” as Luka put it and eating lots of cookies and pastries-provided by Marinette’s parents of course. Adrien and Kagami were attending their various classes until afternoon, so the remaining three spent their time relaxing, and coming up with a list of things to pack for Mari’s stay in Gotham. Two o’ clock rolled around, and the bells over the bakery jingled to announce the arrival of the final members of the packing committee.  

Any plans to begin their assignment of somehow fitting all Marinette’s fabrics into the suitcase were cut short by an Akuma. 

They all transformed, even though Kagami and Luka has been  extremely reluctant to let Mari go even though the suit temporarily healed her injuries. Climbing through her roof hatch, they set out across the rooftops to defeat their latest villain.

---

Five hours later, the teen heroes dropped into her room, and detransformed in various flashes of multicolored lights. They collapsed onto the bed and chairs and silently agreed to just  sleep , and get the packing done the next day.

---

All of Sunday was spent throwing various clothes and accessories into Mari’s pink and black suitcase. There were several sweaters and hoodies (added by Chloé), as well as several leggings and many thick pajama pants (Sabine).

Adrien (with the help of Tom) had somehow managed to pack over ten different pun-covered t-shirts, and by the time they were discovered, they had been buried under piles upon piles of fluffy socks from Kagami. Luka also threw in some scarves before Marinette added some toiletries, her sewing kit, and her computer.

Picking up the backpack she had decided to use as a carry-on, Marinette rifled through it to make sure she had everything in there as well.

Spare change of clothes in case she loses her suitcase? Check. Phone, headphones, and charger? Check. Sketchbook and pencils? Check. Disguised Miracle Box? Check.

She turned to her family (Not her teammates, not her friends, but her family.) and smiled. It was small, and bittersweet, but it was a smile. “Alright guys, I guess I’m all set.” She said, before joining them all in a group hug. They offered her soft, tearful smiles before Tom carried her big suitcase down the stairs. 

That night, Marinette fell asleep surrounded by all the people she loved, and she couldn’t have been happier.

---

The next day, her Papa carried her downstairs and placed her into her wheelchair (since she had a broken foot, and couldn’t use her leg, they had given her a wheelchair) before wheeling her outside and placing her into the car waiting by the street. 

Her friends were all inside, and she gripped Adrien’s hand tightly as they drove to the airport. 

As she stood to board the plane, she turned back to catch one last glimpse of them all. Chloé was leaning into Kagami’s side who was holding her girlfriend’s hand tightly. Adrien was waving wildly, and Luka and her parents all raised one hand in farewell. Her Maman and Papa has some red rimming their eyes, but they smiled at her as she was wheeled into the plane. Next stop: Gotham, New Jersey.

Since her flight left Paris at 10 AM, she was set to arrive in Gotham at around 12 PM/noon. With that in mind, she decided to stay awake for the entire flight so that her body could adjust better. 

As they crossed the Atlantic, Marinette, sitting in first class thanks to Chloé and Adrien’s combined nagging; popped her earbuds in, and began to sketch. 

She stared out the window as she touched down, shocked by all the dog and darkness in the city. As she collected her bags, and wheeled her way outside to look for her host family, she couldn’t help but notice how everyone in this city was much more on edge than most normal people. ‘They act as though they are expecting an attack at any second of the day.’ She mused to herself. Her train of thought was cut off by the sight of an elderly man with a powerful aura standing next to a limo with a sign saying “Marinette Dupain-Cheng”. She wheeled her way over to him and smiled brightly. “Salut! My name is Marinette! What is yours, Monsieur!” She questioned, holding out her hand for a handshake.

“It’s lovely to meet you Miss Marinette, my name is Alfred Pennyworth.” Alfred responded, smiling gently down at her. “Now let’s get you and your bags in the car, shall we?” He reaches out to shake her hand, and the moment their fingers touched her vision was filled with dark blue and red. She laughed and smiled up at him. “It is an honor to meet you, noble Peacock.” She greeted him in the Guardian language, honoring his position as a True Holder. “And it is an honor to meet you as well, Ladybug.” He answered. She grinned and allowed him to help her into the back of the limo before he climbed into the driver's seat and they sped off to Wayne Manor. 

---

When he saw the young girl, Alfred was shocked to say the least. She was roughly 5’ 4” (162.5 cm), and was very petite. Her stature, combined with her wheelchair, wrist brace, and the cast on her leg, all strengthened his resolve to protect the young girl from any further harm. That was only intensified when their auras recognized each other. How could anyone place the responsibility of upholding balance on such a young child? 

As he drove to the Manor, she informed him that the Cat, Bee, Dragon and Snake were active on her team. Before he could ask her what the threat they were battling was, they had arrived at the Manor, and she had immediately tensed and gone silent.

Deciding that it was better to ask more questions later, he got out of the car to retrieve her bags and chair. Master Bruce and three of his children except for Master Damian were waiting in front of the doors to the Manor, and they all waited patiently for her as she exited the car. 

---

Marinette was nervous. Sure, taking to Monsieur Alfred was really fun, and she couldn’t wait to tell him more about Paris, but now she was meeting her actual host family! What if they didn’t like her? What if they decided to send her back?! Then what would she do?? A small cough interrupted her downward spiral, and she looked up from her lap to see Monsieur Alfred waiting in front of the open door with her wheelchair. Grabbing her backpack, she awkwardly maneuvered herself into the chair and allowed herself to be wheeled out in front so she could meet Monsieur Bruce Wayne.

---

Note: Alfred doesn’t know that Marinette is the Guardian. He just knows she’s a Ladybug holder.

[jloves-pp]

The Story of Merida and Hiccup part 3

Chapter 3-Dining with Royalty

Merida, Hiccup, Toothless and Angus had been travelling to DunBroch for what was feeling like hours. The sun was setting as the Merida and Hiccup had been chatting and questioning each other. Hiccup asked Merida what Angus was and she was surprised that he never seen or heard of horses.

"Didn't you have horses?" Merida questioned.

"No, we don't but our dragons more than filled that role", Hiccup stated.

"Well horses can't fly or breathe fire" Merida commented.

"True but when one accidentally sets one of houses on fire, then you can start to have second thoughts about a species", Hiccup said. He and Toothless were glancing around as they walked, he had to admit, the woodlands were beautiful and he felt like he was at home.

"Speaking of dragons, why do you call him Toothless?" Merida then asked, looking down at them from her horse. She watched as the dragon looked up at her and he's teeth disappeared into his mouth.

"Did I just..."

"Yeah, that's why I call him Toothless" Hiccup expected, "Yeah, I know very original", he added sarcastically.

Merida let out a small laugh. "Well it suits him", she then said. "Are there other kind of dragons or do they all look like him?

"Yes, there all sorts of different dragons, we still finding all kind of breeds" Hiccup said excited whenever he talked about dragons.

"Like what?"

Well, there's Gronckle they are big, like a boulder with little wings, one of my friends has one. Then there a Zippleback they have two heads, one can breathe gas and the other lights it, they are pretty cool. Deadly Naddder, they have great tails in to fight with. Monstrous Nightmare, can light their bodies on fire, it's not good to ride on them then as you can imagine and of course the Night Furry, that's what you are, isn't it Bud" when Hiccup mention Night Furry, his purred happily.

Merida was going to ask more about the Toothless when she noticed something in the distance.

"Hiccup look" she told him, pointed ahead. Both Hiccup and Toothless looked up and saw far across water, on a cliff stand a stone castle. A long wall circled the kingdom and Hiccup could see tiny figures of people, even knowing it was the home of his enemies, he really likes the kingdom.

"Wow, its amazing" Hiccup exclaimed, Toothless agreed with him with a purr.

"Aye, there no place like it" Merida said smiley at her home.

"Is there a Royal family live in the castle?" Hiccup then asked.

"Aye, there is" Merida answered.

"I wonder if there's a princess.

"Aye, there is one".

"I bet she's beautiful!"

Merida checks turned red, "Well maybe she not that beautiful, in my opinion, even though her parents tell her she is, I don't think she cares about her looks, sorry, I am rambling on... Well it's nearly dinner time and we have to go".

"Oh ok then", Hiccup replied. As they set off again, down to the path that led to the kingdom.

"We hopefully have some spare rooms for you and Toothless" Merida said as they could see the bridge ahead.

"Yeah, about that, do you know any good places around there for Toothless" Hiccup asked stopping his dragon, this brought Merida and Angus to a stop.

"Why?"

"Well, unless they don't enjoy fighting, hurting and killing. It better hide him to be safe", he heard his dragon complain with a grown.

"He doesn't like that idea", Merida said, smirking. Knowing what Toothless was thinking.

"We can't risk it, Bud" Hiccup said rubbing Toothless's head. They were drawn towards a noise in the distance as the noise drew nearer they could tell no it was the sound of horse hooves and the horse and rider could now be seen in the distance.

Before Merida realise it, Hiccup and Toothless disappeared behind a huge bush. She thought that Hiccup was hiding the dragon away from sight. She jumped off Angus as she recognises rider was one of the guards.

"Hello Jamie, are you off with the messages?" Merida said, noticing his satchel, that usually contained letters from the clans".

"Aye your highness, the Queen just gives me a last minute gift for young MacGuffin". He answered looking at the bag before saying, "Well I had better be off. Farewell Princess", and with that, he rode off. Merida made a simple wave after him.

"You're... You're the princess?" Merida jumped slightly when she heard Hiccup's voice. She nearly forgot about him and turned to see a stunned look for on his face. Hiccup had heard everything while hiding with Toothless. "Oh...I...I...I'm sorry. Forgive princess", he apologised and started bowing rapidly", if I'd have know, I won't have...ur what I'm trying to say...it just...I didn't know". He fumbled his words. The princess could only watch as the boy bowed. She glanced over to Toothless who was just as confused by Hiccup.

"Please don't", Merida quickly said holding out her hands, which Hiccup stopped mid bow. "Look, I'm sorry I didn't tell you but really have never liked all that fuss and people acting like fools around me, so..." Merida explained as she crossing her arms, She wasn't sure she was explaining herself properly.

"No, it's ok!", she turned back and saw Hiccup a few feet from her. "It's hard being yourself when everyone else expects you to be different".

Hearing these words, Merida felt comforted. Maybe there was more to this boy! She thought, they smiled at each other then they heard Toothless purring.

"Oh, right let's find a place from Toothless, I think there's a dark part of woods near here", she said as she pointed to her right.

As she started to head in the direction, Hiccup thought over what just happened. He knew being around a Scot was bad, but finding out that she is the princess of the kingdom was worst. If anyone found the truth. He would be put to death instantly, so now he had to be more careful. He told himself that he need to get the tail fin fix and get back home! But he wanted to get know more about this princess.

"Hey, Hiccup. Are you coming?" He heard Merida called and turned to see both her and the dragon were ahead of him.

"Yeah, hang on", he answered and hurried to join them. They soon reached a small cleaning that had a small cave, Merida explained to them it use to be a bear cave but it's been empty for years, she pointed out a and a small burn nearby and explained that maybe some fish could be caught there if they were lucky.

Hiccup and Merida made sure that the Night Fury was comfortable and remove the saddle and Hiccup's harness, they went back to get Angus and walked into the kingdom. The Viking was surprised when they walked toward the entrance gate. He could see tents, stalls and stables with people being busy, bustling around.

"So, when do the all the people live?" He asked as Merida led Angus to his stable.

"Some live in the castle but most of the people live near by. Some live out by the fields and the vegetables patches, and so out by the coast so they can catch fish", she explained as she feed her horse and then started brushing him.

"It's, well it's just different from my home" Hiccup said.

"Oh, what's your home like?" Merida asked. He hesitated, he knew he shouldn't mention about the whole Viking thing but he didn't know when to start.

"Ur, well...there so much, I don't know where to start", Hiccup admitted truthfully.

"Well, you can tell me at dinner, now come on".

Merida said smiling and then took Hiccup by the hand and pulled him along with her.

Hiccup couldn't get a word in as Merida led him to a door that connected to the kitchens, He saw mostly women preparing food. They all stopped and said "good evening Princess", as Merida past all of them noticed the strange boy with her. Hiccup waved politely in acknowledgement of them before him and Merida went up the stairs and he noticed tapestries covering lots of the walls as they made their way to the great hall. As they reach the hall they could hear voices, the voices getting louder as they got closer.

"Honestly Lass. How is it hard to tell one man sheep from another mans sheep? Truly they all looked the same", a man said loudly.

"Well, we need a solution soon or we'll have two farmers at war", the woman's voice answered.

When Hiccup and Merida entered the hall they could see a long table with five seats. At one end was a huge man with a red moustache, he was chewing a chicken leg. At the other end of the table was an elegant woman with long brown hair, surrounded by letters and in three of seats, were three little identical boys each had a mass of red hair. Hiccup instantly knew that they were Merida's family. Merida looked liked her mother, with exception for the red hair she had inherited that from her dad.

Merida let go of Hiccup before she walked up to them.

"Well I think...oh Merida", Fergus was clearly happy to see his daughter. "Your just in time to eat before the boys ate everything", he added chuckle.

"There's plenty dad, for all we know they could have a secret stash underneath their bed", Merida joked looking over to Hamish, Hubert and Harris with a sisterly smile.

"How was trip dear?" Elinor then asked, looking up from the letter, giving a warm smile to her.

"Oh just the usual, riding Angus and shooting arrows and a bit of bad weather!", Merida told them.

Hiccup watched the family as they chatted about their day, he hadn't expected to see the royal family interacting like this, and at home it was just him and his dad so he couldn't help but smile that this scene.

Out of nowhere, the boy heard a loud, angry noise. He then saw two strange creatures covered in fur heading his way. Hiccup backed off as his heart pounded.

"Oh. Leave the lad alone" Merida's dad yelled "chew on this", and he threw some chicken legs to the dogs, the greyhounds were distracted and they turned to eat the meat.

"Merida, who is this boy?" Merida mother question.

"Oh", she quickly came to Hiccup side and gently pulled him by arm. "I like you to meet Hiccup".

Fergus nearly let out a laugh but stopped and coughed when he noticed his wife gave him a warning look.

"It's nice to meet, your Majesty" Hiccup said bowed.

The queen softly smiled at the boy before asking "How long have you know my daughter?"

"Actually we just met today", Merida intervened "I found him injured and I had to make sure he was ok"

"Oh dear" Elinor said surprised, not only for Hiccup but also Merida's actions. "Are you hurt?"

"No, no. I have a few cuts and bruises but I'm fine", Hiccup reassured, waving his hands.

"Oh if you're sure", Elinor said, Fergus joined in and stated "You two must be starving, come and sit down".

"Oh no, I don't want to disturb you dinner ", Hiccup said quickly.

"No, I insist, we'll find a chair for you", Elinor insisted and had two servants fetch one and place it next to Merida's seat. The young boy wanted to say no as Merida took her seat but he reluctantly sat down.

"So, Merida, what happened out there?" Elinor asked her daughter.

"I was about to come back when there was a storm, that's when..." Merida began but then

"That's when her horse got scared and ran off", Hiccup told. Merida looked at him, confused but it clicked. He wanted to protect his dragon.

She showed a knowing smile before telling the story. "Aye, I chased after him and we ended up by the water edge. That's when I found Hiccup".

The rest of family was listening eagerly. "So what where you doing in DunBroch by the young man", Fergus asked Hiccup.

"Well, me and my friend were...Ur sailing when we were court up in storm and landed here", Hiccup answered

"Where is your friend? The Queen asked.

"He volunteered to stay with the boat. it's ok, he can take care of himself"

"Well good, he doesn't need to worry about Mor'du roaming around" Fergus commented.

"The boy has been through enough, he doesn't need to hear about our evil bear", Elinor told him.

As the grownups chatted, Merida got a plate and put some food on it. "Here, there more if you're still hungry", Merida said gently put the plate in front of Hiccup. It was the same food as they had in Berk. Chicken, pork, vegetables and haggis but they seem bigger and full of colour. Hiccup took a small bite of beef and vegetables and he paused, the taste was like fireworks in his mouth. He never had tasted flavours so strong and amazing in his life.

"Are you all right Hiccup?" He heard Merida asked.

"Oh yeah" Hiccup answered swallowing his food. "It just I never thought food could taste so good"

"What foods do you usually have" Merida asked.

"The same but my home, are food is a bit tougher and bland". Hiccup expected.

"So where do you live Hiccup?" The queen then asked.

Hiccup took a moment before he said "well it's on an island in the middle of nowhere, we have hunting. Fishing and a wonderful views especially of the sunsets"

"That's sounds lovely", Elinor said but her face dropped "But your parents Hiccup! They must be worried sick".

Merida notices Hiccup face drop, " It's just me and dad".

"Oh, I'm sorry" Elinor apologise to him.

"It's fine, really." Hiccup said reassuring them. He was used to people knowing what happened to his mum. Of course they wouldn't have known.

Merida could see an uneasy look at Hiccup's face. She thought maybe he never knew his mum, it make her think of when she nearly lost her mum. Merida didn't want this melancholy atmosphere over everyone.

"He'll be fine here" Fergus reassured. "He'll send a letter to them, saying he's all right and he'll be home in no time".

Hiccup and Merida could see Elinor's face relax. "Right we'll get a room made up for you", then she had two maids sent to set up a room. The rest of the dinner was really pleasant. Merida's parents asked Hiccup question about home but Hiccup was careful to avoid mention some details.

After they finished, Elinor told Merida where Hiccup his room. It didn't take long for Merida to find it, Hiccup had a good looked around. The room had a warm cosy feeling, it had a big fireplace, a four posted bed with green curtains surrounding it.

"So do you like it? Is there anything wron?." Merida began ''but...''

Oh no, no, no, it's really nice. It's a lot nicer than my room back home" Hiccup turned and explained, waving his hands.

"Ok" she said a bit relieved. Hiccup walked up the big bed, he was used to his wooden bed but this bed had a mattress that was so soft.

"My room is down the hall, my parents and brothers are a bit further down and if you need anything, let..." Merida had turned and pointed the hallway but when she'd look back, Merida found Hiccup lying on the bed, already asleep.

She was surprised but then realise that he been through so much today, he must be exhausted she thought. Merida smiled before she closed the door and went to bed.

The next day, in the woods. Toothless who was hanging upside down from a tree, he yawned and opened his tired eyes. He wondered how his best friend was doing when his stomach growled. He had eaten 3 fishes from the river late but he had gone to sleep hungry night. Even though it was a risk, the Night Fury decided to visit the kingdom. It was early in the morning so barely anyone should be around; Toothless managed hide and to slip toward the gate once the way was clear and he passed the guards without being seen.

When the dragon saw two humans, men on guard duty, Toothless thought they looked weird, he was used the Vikings, but their clothes were different, seeing men wearing pleated checked skirts was very strange. As he searched for Hiccup, he sniffed the air until he smelt that familiar smell of fish. He followed it before he reached a door that was open slightly, he pushed it open and found heaps and heaps of recently caught fish, his mouth had began to drewl, he licked his lips, he was very please himself and his find.

Maudie the head maid had finished mending a dress for the queen. On the way back to the kitchen, she heard odd noises coming from the fish hold. Without thing she found herself slowly pushing open the door to reveal a mess of knocked over baskets, fish bones and half eaten fish. The creator of this disorder was a giant black monster lizard with wings. Toothless looked up to noticed the shocked maid; he simply smiled to her, Maudie screamed and ran for her life. Toothless looked on confused, he thought she was an odd woman.

Hiccup was had had a peaceful sleep and when he awoke, yawned and stretch. He wondered why Toothless hadn't woken him, when he opened his eyes, he realised that he wasn't at home and Toothless wasn't with him as usual. Looking around at room, he remembered yesterday, it all came back to him. Him and Toothless flying in a huge black cloud and ending up in Scotland and now he had stayed in this castle of the enemy. He also remembered Merida finding them; Hiccup began to thinking of the princess but stopped himself. "I should get breakfast now".

Hiccup headed downstairs and was told by one of the guards where breakfast was to be severed. He found the King, the Queen and the triples were already eating.

"Good morning Hiccup. Do you have a good sleep?" Elinor asked as she waved her arm gesturing where to sit.

"Good, in fact it the best sleep I ever had", Hiccup said while putting some food on his plate. "Where's Merida?"

"Probably still a sleep, that's where she's usually is at this time of day!" Fergus answered.

"Where I am usually?" They turned to see Merida come in, grinning modestly.

"Oh there you are!" Fergus greeted her as she sat next to Hiccup. "We surprised you're up this early".

"Well, I wanted to show Hiccup around DunBroch while he is here", Merida explained then turn to Hiccup "If that's ok with Hiccup?"

"Yeah, I like to and...", but before he could finished. They suddenly heard someone scream for dear life. The sound got louder and louder and the door burst opened and Mandie ran in. Fergus had jumped up.

"Mandie, are you all right?" The Queen asked getting up and rushing the woman side. Elinor and Fergus began to calm her so she could catch her breath and be able to speak.

Mandie tried to talk but all that came out was "d...d...d...d...d"

"What is to Mandie?" Elinor asked the poor woman, she kept asked but no responses.

This frustrated king held his head, "Ock don't fash , spit it out Mandie".

"...DRAGON! Dragon…dragon!

Hearing this, everyone looked confused except Hiccup and Merida who exchanged worries looks at each other.

"What? You must be working too hard", Fergus said thinking she was just hallucinating but Elinor though otherwise.

"Show us where you seen it" she said nodding a little at her husband.

They encouraged Maudie back to the fish hold with some reluctance she lead the way. The redhead could see the fear and worry on Hiccups face, before she could say anything him, they reach the room. Fergus held his sword ready; he swung opened the door and found...Nothing, nothing but a mess of fish.

"Well, no dragon but something has definitely been in here", The King declared. Merida and Hiccup breathed a sigh of relief, knowing the Nightfury got away.

"But it was here!" Maudie protested as she sat on the floor "it was big and black with green eyes and...and...No teeth!"

"NO TEETH" Fergus repeated in disbelief ", what kind of dragon has no teeth".

Hiccup squeezed his eyes when he heard that. Merida did heard him murmured something under his breath, it sounded like "Nightfurrys had retractable teeth"

Elinor knelt down to the maid and patted her hand supportively "Maybe it was a bear that you saw".

"Well if it is, let's hope we go don't go through the whole the bear incident again", Fergus said before turning the guards and telling them to keep an eye out any suspicious.

Elinor asked her daughter to help Maudie to her room, Hiccup offered to help. What they didn't notice was Hamish had spotted something in the room; he motioned to his brother to see. Hamish picked up what look like a black flat stone but it didn't quite feel like one. The triplets soon found more and quickly left to investigate the stones.

Merida and Hiccup helped Maudie into bed while Elinor poured some water for her and told her to the rest as she drew her curtains and they left the room.

"There, with some peace and quiet, she'll be better soon", Elinor reassured Merida and Hiccup as they walked to the kitchen.

"Do you think what she saw was real?" Merida asked.

"Well, from what we all been through, nothing will surprised me", her mother answered.

"Ok, we better head out now" Hiccup then said. He and Merida began to head to the door...

"Wait, take this" Elinor called to them. She gave Hiccup a small parcel. "This is for your friend. He must be hungry being out there minding the boat and be careful there could be a bear about!"

"Well my friend does have a big appetite", Hiccup said which was true. Hiccup and Merida went to get Angus and headed to the forest. It didn't take long for them to find the dragon. Even though Toothless had his back to them, Hiccup knew what he was doing. "Toothless. What were you thinking?"

Heading towards him Hiccup yell, Toothless turned with a fish's tail was sticking out of his mouth. Seeing the evidence, he suck it up and swallowed it.

"Toothless, this isn't Berk. These people have never had seen a dragon. So if they found you, they won't think twice of hunting you" Hiccup explained to his friend. Toothless growled in understand of his meaning.

Merida watched them in fascination. Even know the dragon didn't speak, the two were having a conversation. She of course talk to Angus like that but she could feel a special connection between the two. Suddenly a loud growling sound, coming from the Nightfury.

"He still hungry" Merida thought allowed. She then saw Hiccup rubbing his face in frustration. A thought came to her; she just hoped Hiccup didn't mind her idea. "Well if your still hungry. I know where there is a well stocked burn at this time of year, so you should be able to feed to your heart's content", she told the dragon as she and her horse joined them. This had caught Toothless interest and purred happily.

[captainscanadian]

Better | Bucky Barnes x Reader (Part 9)

My Masterlist

Part 1 | Part 2 | Part 3 | Part 4 | Part 5 | Part 6 | Part 7 | Part 8 

Summary: Things are indeed better.

Word Count: 6165

Pairing: Doctor!Bucky x Doctor!Reader, Doctor!Natasha x Platonic!Reader, Matt Murdock x Platonic!Reader, Literally Everyone Else

Warnings: Swearing, Surgery, Organ Donation, Scarring, Stitches, Emotional Distress, Hospital Stay, Anxiety, Trauma, MENTIONS OF SEX.

A/N: YEAH, YOU’RE WELCOME! ;)

“I love you, Y/N Y/L/N.” Bucky finally said the words that he had been holding onto for years, his hands placed on top of yours as he tilted his head down so that your foreheads could touch. “I’ve loved you ever since that snowy night, when you called me by my name and thawed out my cold head heart with a single smile. I’ve loved you ever since I realized that you were a much better doctor and a much better human being than I could ever be. I’ve loved you because you never let life get the worst of you. You always made things better for yourself and everyone around you. You made me better, you make me better.” The never ending tears continued to stream down his face as he finally confessed his true feelings. “I love when you care for everyone around you. I love that you’re selfless. I love that no matter how bad life had treated you, you never gave up. I love that you always strived to be better. I love how much you care about your patients. I love how you treat the hospital staff as equals. I love you for who you are, because you are worthy of being loved. Even if you’ve never been loved by anyone in your whole damn life, even if you think that you don’t deserve to be loved, I want you to know this. You are loved, Y/N. You are loved so fucking much, by your James.”

Hearing his words only made the tears stream down your face. You shut your eyes, feeling his grip on your wrists as you drew a sharp breath. For the first time in your life, you understood what it meant to love someone so unconditionally. For the first time in your life, you understood how it felt to be loved by someone so unconditionally. For the first time in your life, you wanted to let your heart run free, because you knew that James Barnes was the last man on earth who would even dare to break it. After all, he fixed broken hearts for a living and he was better than you at that. He had fixed yours.

You looked back at that night, almost two years ago now, when he had walked you home after a hard day’s work at the shelter. It was calm wintry night, the snow was falling slowly, and the sound of it crunching under both of your feet with every step you took had brought you a sense of calmness that you had ever expected. Snow had always been a demon that took away your sense of belonging until then. But now it was something that reminded you of the moment you fell in love with Dr. Barnes.

When you stopped at your door and bid him farewell, you did have a slight change of heart. But you did not know what it was; you could not recognize that feeling for some odd reason. Perhaps, it was your inexperience with said feeling that had caused you to not identify what it was. Some people described this feeling as their heart skipping a beat. The medical term for it though, was premature ventricular contraction. But you now knew exactly what it meant. When you had called out to him to express your gratitude, you should have done this then. You should have done it at that moment. You should have felt the warmth of his lips before the cold had blanketed itself into the night. But it was better late than never.

As you pressed your lips against his, you had felt again that same feeling that you felt then. You felt your heart skip a beat and enlarge, maybe even burst with all of the love that you had for this man. You felt it all. You felt your heart racing to the speed of a mile a minute, the dopamine rush to your brain, or was it serotonin or even oxytocin?

Your hands gently got out of his grip to stroke his light stubble and your fingers laced into his soft long locks. When you pulled back to draw another breath, you felt your cheeks heat up meeting his twinkling blue eyes, making you drop your head low but your smile was so wide. “God, I’ve wanted to do that forever now.” You admitted, looking up at him with your eyes full of content. “That felt good.”

“You’re telling me...” James let out a nervous laugh, shifting from the edge of your bed to stand on his feet. “It did... feel good.” He agreed, certainly just as flustered as you were. That surprised you, for he had always been a confident, or rather cocky man. But you rocked his world. You had such an effect on him; you had effortlessly dragged him down from his high horse.

“I mean, when Professor Van Dyne first taught me about the effects of dopamine, serotonin and oxytocin in the brain... I always questioned it. I never thought I’d be able to feel the effects of them in my brain. I even told her that those three weren’t even a part of my brain chemistry at one point because I just believed that I can never feel happy about anything.” You noted, laughing as you remembered that moment with your professor at NYU, the same professor who had told you about Steve and Bucky, who had somehow led you to be right here in Brooklyn. “But look at me know...”

From the look on your face, Bucky just knew. You were genuinely happy at that moment. That was all he cared about. Even if he knew that he was the reason why you were happy, he did not let this knowledge get to his head. He was not going to boast about it or take credit for it, because he knew that you were happy because you wanted to be happy. You had opened up your heart and let yourself be happy.

He was not even surprised that you were talking about your hormones just moments after your long awaited first kiss. You were such a nerd and he loved you for it. “You must have scared the living crap out of poor old Janet.” He agreed, laughing softly. “But you’re human and you’re bound to feel these things, although I really don’t think you’re in shape to be dealing with all of the effects of oxytocin at the moment.” There was a cheeky grin that had plastered itself on his face as he said that and you gasped. How could he just let that slip so casually?

“Oh God, James...” You blushed harder, covering your face with your hands as you felt it burning in embarrassment. “You’re... the most... flirtatious nerd I’ve met in my whole life.” You certainly had that in common though.

Bucky let out another laugh as he wrapped his arms around you, placing a kiss on top of your head as he took a seat next to you. He kicked off his tennis shoes to put his feet up on the bed, letting you rest your head against his shoulder. “I’m glad I didn’t have to use any corny pick up lines on my girl.”

“Good thing I’m not a sorority sister.” You let out another laugh, ignoring the slight pain in your side. But this was not the pain that one would suppress. This was the pain that followed a hearty laugh, like the tears that one would shed out of joy. You had not laughed this genuinely in a really long time. But being in his arms like this, you felt safe. You felt happy. You felt better. “You know what I realized, Dr. Barnes. Under this paper thin, possibly see-through hospital gown that Wanda Maximoff had been kind enough to get me changed into this morning, I am completely naked.”

“Feeling scandalous, are we?” He teased, wiggling his eyebrows down at you. “Naked and exposed on a sunny afternoon.”

“...In bed with New York’s most eligible bachelor.”

“...And with several tubes attached to your body.” He added, laughing. “I must say, that makes you much more attractive with this whole gown situation.”

“Hey, Nat said that they can come out tomorrow.” You told him as you laughed. “But she’ll probably kill me if I pull another suture.” There was a hint of tease evident in your voice. But you were also a little shy about talking so intimately with him. As much as you had been wanting every moment of this for a while, it was very unlike you and you knew that. But you had also come to accept that things had changed for the better. You were going to let your heart let out its deepest desires.

“Not if she finds out how you managed to do it this time. I think she’d be proud.”

“James!” You felt out another laugh, feeling yourself tear up because of how much you had been laughing. You rested your head against his shoulder once more, continuing to laugh as you reached to wipe away your tears. “Oh my God! I can’t believe it. I’m talking to the Dr. James Barnes about... sex.”

“There’s a first time for everything, doll.” Dr. Barnes remarked, his brows furrowing for a moment. “But I’m willing to wait for the right time... you know, until your liver regenerates.” Even though it was merely minutes after he had confessed his love to you, he knew that this was going to last forever. He could not imagine life without you now. He wanted it all with you, after all. He wanted everything that life could possibly give him with you. “I mean, if that’s what you also want. I’m not going to force you, I... you know what, forget that I even said that.”

“How thoughtful of you, Bucky...”

“Did you just call me Bucky?” He asked, perking up with his eyebrow raised at you. “I’d prefer that you don’t call me that, Y/N.”

“Why not? Isn’t that what everyone calls you? That’s your name. All of our friends and even your little patients call you that. You always tell people to call you Bucky when they call you James. But why haven’t you... yeah, why don’t I get to call you Bucky?” You asked him, raising your eyebrow at him. “How come everyone in this hospital gets to calls you that except me?”

“...Because you’re not like everyone else, Y/N.” He told you with a sigh of contentment, his charming smile still beaming upon his lips. “Everyone calls me Bucky but you... you get to call me James because the only other people who call me that are my parents. I want you to have the honor of... being after my mother and my father. I’m Bucky to everyone else but to you, I’m always your James and I want to be your James.”

“My James. You’re my James.”

“And you’re my Y/N.” James agreed.

“I’ll be honest with you, James.” You bit down on your bottom lip as you looked over at him. “I’m not the best person to be in a relationship with. I’m not saying that because I’m insecure or because I think I’m undeserving. It’s just that I’m an emotional wreck sometimes and therefore, I tend to become... emotionally unavailable, perhaps. There are years’ worth of trauma and abuse lurking in the back of my mind. As much as I want you to be there for me, as much as I love that you want to be there for me, I’m not going to expect you to be there all the time. If you ever feel like being with me is emotionally draining, if you do want to set boundaries now, then I would do my best to respect them. I understand that my emotions are not your burden to bear.”

His lips quivered at your words and he shook his head. He had said these exact words to Natasha the other day. “Oh honey, no... you can’t put that kind of pressure on yourself. We’re all complicated, messy and bound to our emotions. I don’t want you as in I want your body or the space next to you in bed. I want you, as a person, as a doctor, as a friend... I want you for who you are. If your past and your pain had a huge part in you becoming who you are now, then I want that too. I want it all.”

“I’ll keep talking to Rhodey. I’ll work on myself. But I won’t let you suffer vicariously for whatever I’ve been through.” You promised. “I’ll be better.”

“Hey, I know you will. You don’t have to worry about that. If things get difficult for you, I’ll be there. I’m not going anywhere. As long as you need me, I’ll be here. I’ll be right by your side and I’ll do right by you. I promise you that.” He placed his hand on top of yours, sighing.

You wondered if you should tell him about Margaret, but you decided against it. She was in the past now. It was about time you moved on. You did not need that one best friend you thought you would have for. You had much better friends now. And you had him. “I love you so much, James Barnes.”

“I love you more than life itself, Y/N Y/L/N.”

You could not say for sure if it had been a few minutes or a few hours that had passed, or how your conversation had come to an end. But you had dozed off to the sound of Bucky Barnes’ heart beating at your ear, your head resting against his chest, his arms wrapped gently around you.

It was the hint of orange against the dark blue sky that marked the start of dusk. As Wanda Maximoff had found herself returning to the post-op ward to begin her night shift, she left her belongings at the nurses’ desk to do the first thing that she always did when she came into work nowadays: check on you.

When she walked towards your hospital room, what she would have expected was for you to be in yet another drug-induced slumber. Perhaps, Bucky would have been sitting by your bedside and reading another book. If you had been awake though, she hoped that you and Bucky would have talked things through. She hoped that he would have at least told you how he felt about you. But what she had instead been greeted with was a surprise to her own eyes. It was truly a beautiful sight. It was better than anything she could have ever imagined.

For as long as the nurse had known Bucky, she knew that it was such a rarity for him to sleep so peacefully. She knew just how difficult it was to convince that man that he needed his sleep. He was a workaholic by nature and forcing him to go home and get some sleep after every excruciating shift had always been a chore of its own. But seeing him in your embrace, the way he snored softly against you, she knew that things were just right in this world. She had done her part in caring for him for all these years and he was your problem now.

As her eyes glazed over, her heart filled with joy. This was her brother from another mother and her good friend, having finally found the comfort that they were in pursuit of in each other. She was careful not to make any noise though, for this moment was just too pure for her to ruin. But the moment she exited your hospital room, she sprinted down the hallway to the nearest stairwell and down the stairs, not even stopping to catch her breath as she reached the doctors’ lounge. “You guys... he... he... he...” She crouched down as she tried to catch her breath, holding onto her knees as she tried to find the words to say. “He...” But Wanda could not get herself to speak, so she leaned over to pull Sam into a tight hug. “You... you lost... the bet, Wilson.” She managed to say in between her inhales and exhales. “

“I couldn’t be any happier for those two.” Steve admitted as he wrapped his arm around Peggy, giving her a smile of relief and contentment. It felt as though they had just survived hell fire with that whole meeting with your mother. But he was glad that Bucky had finally found the courage to spill his true feelings to you and that you had finally found the courage to open up your heart and let him in.

“OH THANK GOD, HE DIDN’T CHICKEN OUT!” Natasha exclaimed, mumbling something in Russian that sounded quite triumphant before holding her hand out towards her friends. “Alright Clint, Sam, you two better pay up!”

Clint Barton let out a groan as he reached into the pocket of his lab coat, grabbing his wallet and handing the woman a hundred dollar bill. “In my defence, this was a win-win situation. Our kids are in love and I’m more than happy to lose.”

Pulling back from his hug from Wanda, Sam let out a chuckle before pulling out his wallet. “In my defence, I may or may not have done some meddling when he was having a little breakdown in the bathroom. I was kind of the one who told him to go tell her how he really feels. So, you’re welcome, Dr. Romanoff.” He told her as he handed her a hundred dollar bill.

“Meddling is fun, isn’t it, Peggy?” Tony gave the attorney a cheeky grin.

“Oh buzz off, Tony! You lost the bet too.” She rolled his eyes at him before laying her head against her husband’s shoulder, holding onto her daughter who was fast asleep on her lap.

“I may have lost the bet but I’m so glad that love won in the end.” The Chief of Surgery turned over to look at his wife, handing her a mug of tea and taking Morgan from her arms. He gave her a cheeky smile, his hand gently rubbing his daughter’s back as she wrapped her arms around his neck. “Plus, I made a bet that I’ll chaperone Morgan’s school trip to the farm next week and Pepper will be Chief for a day!” He announced with quite the enthusiasm, only to earn a few silent cheers from his audience who were careful not to wake up the toddler who was asleep.

“My first order of business as Chief of Surgery is to give Barnes a raise for being the reason why I won this bet.” Pepper joked, laughing softly as she took a sip of her tea.

“What’s your second order of business, Dr. Potts?” Sam asked her, curiously.

“Teaching Parker how to deliver a baby. He’s been dodging my service for a while now and that’s going to change.”

“Can you also put him in matching pink scrubs for the entire week he’ll be working in OB/GYN? Because that’s something I’d pay to see.” Dr. Wilson admitted.

“Y/N would be so pissed at how you much you plan on bullying her favorite resident when she’s gone.” Wanda reminded him with a playful eye roll.

“Nah, I think she’s got her hands full with her lover boy.”

 ***

“I should have been here.” Matthew Murdock let out a sigh of disappointment in his own self as he held onto his former roommate’s hand. As the only person who had known you longer than anyone else in this hospital, he knew just how hard the last few days all must have been on you. A part of him felt guilty for having been on vacation with his wife and son while you had been going through this. It was not until he had returned to work that morning did he hear of the whole fiasco from Peggy. The moment his colleague had told him about your parents and the drama that they had brought along with them, Matt had rushed to your bedside in a heartbeat. “God, I wish you would have called me when you found them here at the hospital in the first place.”

“No, Matt... it’s fine. I’m fine now. I’m better.” You told him, really not wanting to talk about your parents. Talking about them and even thinking about them was a waste of your precious time and energy. “Besides, I got to live the whole pound of flesh and jot of blood experience so I’m not complaining.”

Matt let out a chuckle at your remark for he had been a frequent listener of your analysis of that certain Shakespearean play. As a lawyer, he understood why you had felt the need to share those with him. His eyes were shielded by his signature red tinted shades as he turned his head away from you for a moment. “How do you always manage to get yourself hurt, Y/N?” He asked as he recalled your years of co-habiting in that shoebox of an apartment in Hell’s Kitchen, with you being in medical school at NYU while he was a law student at Columbia.

“What’s that supposed to mean?” You asked him, feigning offense before letting out a giggle.

“The number of times you managed to fall off that rusty old bicycle of yours during your extensive commutes to NYU speak for themselves.” He responded, holding back a snicker that managed to force its way through his lips. “Not to mention the number of scratches and bruises you had to patch up every night.”

You rolled your eyes as you thought of those times rather fondly. You had been a walking disaster back then, accident prone and untrusting of anyone in general. Hell, it had taken you a few months to warm up to Matt himself. Your first few months of living together had consisted of you barely speaking a word to each other. It was a time when all your anxious self could handle was non-verbal communication, and Matt certainly did not do non-verbal communication. It took a while to break the ice, but once you did, the two of you had learned to depend on each other for certain things. “I’ve fallen quite a lot, Matt.” You agreed with him. “But I’ve always gotten back up.”

“I still remember the last time you fell off. You couldn’t get up that time.”

You let out a laugh as you thought of that day. “I scraped my knee pretty bad that day. I still have that scar.” You admitted. “I remember hitting the ground and thinking this is it, I’m going to die. I called out for you because I knew you wouldn’t have gotten that far. I kept screaming because I wanted you to be able to hear me. It took you a while to find me but you did. I heard your cane against the pavement and you calling back to me. I swear I felt like I had died and come back to life when I saw you. You asked me if I could get up, I said no so you held out your hand. I took your hand and got up; you let me put all of my weight against you. You told me to give you directions while I limped and you dragged me right to the ER somehow. I still don’t know how we did it but I’m pretty sure you’re the reason why I’m even alive right now.”

“We were the perfect team that day. I was your legs and you were my eyes.” He told you, smiling fondly. “I’m glad you let me help you that day because you rarely ever spoke to me until then. You were always cooped up in your room and when you did come out, all I could hear were the pots and pans clashing and then I could smell the food you cooked. I often heard you cry yourself to sleep during the nights but I didn’t want to bother you. I didn’t even know you. But then eventually, you came out of your shell. You always put a plate of food in front of me when you cooked for yourself, touched my hand gently to let me know that I can eat. It became our little thing.”

“It felt good to be useful to someone else for once, Matt.” You admitted. “But yeah, I’m sorry I wasn’t really good at dealing with roommates back then. And thank you, for being so patient with me and for helping me out whenever I needed help.”

“Is this your way of saying that you won’t need any of my help anymore?” He asked you, his lips curling into a smirk as he gave your hand a gentle squeeze. “Have you finally found yourself your own Karen?”

“Peggy told you, didn’t she?” You asked as you laughed softly, feeling your cheeks heat up at the mention of your James.

He let out a chuckle before leaning back in his chair. “She told me what she knew. But I’d like to know everything from you though.”

“Well, you better buckle up, Matt. Because it’s about to be a wild ride from start to finish...”

 1 WEEK LATER

Your bare feet were cold as they came in contact with the tiled floor of your hospital room, both Wanda and Sharon holding onto you on each side as you stood up from the bed that you had been confined to for much longer than it was required for a normal liver transplant donor. You were certainly going to miss that comfortable bed of yours.

You did not need to put your entire weight against Sharon as Wanda moved to close the curtains in your room, the duffel bag that MJ had dropped off that afternoon sitting at the edge of your bed. “Are you sure Nat didn’t forget about me?” You asked her, jokingly. You had been holding onto your discharge forms all day, waiting for your surgeon to sign off on them. Even though it was nearing the evening, she still had not shown up. As much as you loved this hospital, it sucked to be there for as long as you had. You could not wait to get home, or in this case, your temporary home for the duration of your next eight weeks of bed rest.

“Nat? Forget about you?” Wanda shook her head with a soft chuckle, reaching into the duffel bag to grab the button down maxi dress that MJ had managed to pick out for you to wear.

To your eyes it looked like a much more glamorous version of a hospital gown, though it a lot was less depressing than the gown you were currently wearing. The dress covered much more skin and had a pop of color that complimented the summery weather that had been peaking through the blinds of your hospital room all week. You could not wait to get a breath of fresh air after being cooped up in the hospital for so long.

“She got pulled into a trauma and so she’s taking a little longer than expected.” Sharon replied as she began to undo the strings behind your paper-thin hospital gown. “She’ll be here, Y/N. If there’s anyone in this hospital who really wants to see you go home, it’s her.”

Slipping out of the gown that you wore, you quickly fixed the straps of the loose bra against your shoulder, looking down at the gauze and bandage taped at the right side of your abdomen. Your wound had remained closed since Natasha and Sam patched you up, your sutures and stitches still in place with no signs of an infection. “But I’m not going home, Sharon.” You reminded her as Wanda helped you into your dress, buttoning up the front of it from the neck to the ankle.

However, what you meant by that was that you were not going back to the loft. Before your surgery, you had planned to return to your loft apartment when you would be able to leave the hospital. You had all of your friends on speed dial, in case you needed anything. But you did not want to bother anyone as much during your recovery. You had assumed that staying put at home and binge-watching whatever was available Netflix would be the perfect way to spend your time off from work.

But now, you had been left with no other choice than to not go back to your loft. You had Dr. James Barnes to blame for that. Ever since he confessed his love to you and asked you to be his girlfriend, every single day had been spent with him stopping by your hospital room at least once. Seeing his face made those dreadfully long days seem so much shorter. It felt strange to you. You had been alone your whole life and now you had that one person whom you can call yours. Your boyfriend. Your James. He was all yours.

When you had been talking about what you were going to do after you got discharged, he was strictly against having you go back to the loft. “That whole place is a safety hazard, doll. The stairs are too narrow and you won’t be able to make multiple trips up and down just to be able to take out the trash. It’s a tripping hazard as it is. All it takes it one wrong foot and you might get hurt again.”

You could have argued with that. You wanted to. But with the way one harsh turn had cost you a few jots of blood, you knew that you would be in to lose that argument. You could not help but agree with him. “I mean, Steve offered me his guest bedroom but I turned it down. He and Peggy are as busy with work as they are. And with Sarah, I don’t think it’s fair for them to have to deal with me.” You admitted. As much as you loved and appreciated your former mentor for being your real family, you could not be a burden to him for eight whole weeks.

“Well then...” Bucky’s lips curled into a smirk as he looked over at you. “If you turned down his offer, does that mean I can make another one?”

“James, no...” You shook your head, knowing exactly what he was about to say.

“Come home with me.” He told you, his hand reaching over to grab yours. “I live closer to the hospital, you know, in case of an emergency. I don’t have any children or pets to take care of. It’s just me and... it could be just you and me. I’m not saying this because I want to jump to the next step in our relationship. I’m not asking you to move in with me, Y/N. I’m saying this just because I want you to be safe. I want you to be comfortable during your recovery.”

You opened your mouth to protest but he had managed to cut you off before you could even speak.

“You said so yourself that you don’t take up that much space, doll. You can take the guest bedroom.” With a pout of his soft pink lips and a pleading look on his face, he wrapped his arm around you ever so gently. “Please let me take care of you, Y/N. Are you really going to break my heart by turning down my offer?”

You let out a soft chuckle as you ran your fingers through his hair, the dark strands soft to the touch as you moved them away from his face. “Baby, I love you but you can be really annoying sometimes.” You told him as you leaned over to gently press your lips against his forehead. “Fine, but it’s only temporary though. I’m not moving in with you. When my bed rest is over, I’ll head right back to the loft.”

“Deal.”

Natasha Romanoff signed off on your discharge forms before she handed Wanda the clipboard. “Go home, Y/N. You really need a break from this place.” She told you as she stepped over to pull you into a hug.

You hugged her back as tightly as you could, laying your head against her shoulder. “Thank you for everything, Nat. Thank you for saving my life, not once but twice. Thank you for being a good friend.”

Rubbing your back gently, she pulled back from the hug to give you a smile. “You take care of yourself, okay? I gave Barnes a list of the foods that you should be eating and detailed instructions on your meds and when you should be taking them. If he doesn’t follow them, I will give him hell for it. Your follow up appointments are already booked and you don’t have to worry about how you’re getting here for them. Someone would always be there to drive you over to the hospital. Wanda put up a schedule so that at least one of us can be with you at all times when we’re not working. I will see you in about two days when it’s my turn to spend the night with you. We can have that long awaited girls’ night in, just the way you like it.”

There was a hint of triumph in Natasha’s voice as she grinned widely at you, as her years of attempting to become your best friend had finally paid off. She was your best friend. She was the one whom you were going to spend one night a week with, baking the night away or ordering some take out, drinking wine and talking about your respective love lives. She was the one whom you were going to call when you stress out over what to wear on your first proper date with Bucky. She was the one you would be asking for advice on which lingerie to buy online when the time comes. She was the one who would be your maid of honor when you get married, the one who plans your bachelorette party with all of your girls. She would be the godmother of your first child. She was your best friend for life.

“I hope I’m not interrupting an impromptu girls’ night in here.” Bucky Barnes exclaimed as he walked into the room, having changed out of his navy blue scrubs and into a pair of his signature dark jeans and a blue button down shirt. “But I believe my girlfriend and I have a place to be...”

Dr. Romanoff placed both of her hands against her chest as he said that, turning around to face him with an over dramatic sigh. “Oh God, it’s been a whole fucking week and I am still not over this. I am so proud of you...” She leaned over to kiss his cheek, placing both of her hands on his shoulder firmly and giving him a nod. “I love you both, don’t ever change. Everything is finally right in the world and I hope it stays that way, thank god!” Giving you a nod, she turned around and walked out of the room.

Wanda Maximoff gave you one of her award-winning side hugs. “I’ll see you tomorrow, Y/N.” She told you before picking up your duffel bag and handing it to Bucky. “You take care of her, doc. And take care of yourself, please. You better not be looking for a reason to come into the hospital because I don’t want to see you until tomorrow night.”

He let out a soft chuckle and gave her a nod. “You don’t even have to threaten me with telling on me to the Chief to keep me away from the hospital anymore.” He admitted. “I think I have a reason to stay put at home now. Goodnight, Wanda.”

As she walked off, Sharon followed right behind her. “Goodnight, Dr. Barnes.”

Bucky gave her a smile before turning over to look at you. “So, shall we?” He held out your hand for you to take.

You gave him a nod as you stepped towards him, taking his hand and lacing your fingers together. “We shall.” You told him with a giggle, leaning in to kiss his cheek as the two of you made your way out.

There was no denying that the two of you were subject a few glances and cheers from several of the hospital staff. As Bucky helped you into his black Mercedes, you noticed Thor the security guard giving him a thumbs up.

You gave your boyfriend a look of confusion. “What was that about?”

“Nothing...” He told you as he got in the car and buckled up. “Alright, let’s get you out of here.”

[in-class-daydreams]

Parlay | (Kuroo x Reader) | Chapter 7

- Pairing: Kuroo Tetsurou x Reader (ft. Roommate Kenma)

Word Count: ~3,800

Genres: Fluff, angstiest chapter thus far, general buffoonery

CW: Swearing

Summary: (Y/N), a first-year student attending Tokyo U, is living with her best friend, Kozume Kenma. Little did she know, her life would be turned upside down after being exposed to Kenma’s volleyball teammate and close friend, Kuroo Tetsurou. One wrong move, and the parlay’s stakes only get higher each time.

Chapters: First | Previous | Next

Kuroo tried. He really did. For his best friend’s sake, he wanted to distance himself a bit from (Y/N) and her feminine wiles. Earlier that day, he’d lounged at home watching TV. The news reported that a serial mugger was at large around Tokyo U. Kuroo, being a rather large male, didn’t think much of it. Besides, all he had on him was his phone, his notebook, and a wad of gas station receipts, and a boatload of student debt that he’d love for someone to take off his hands. To him, it wasn’t really a big deal.

What was a big deal was that today was Tuesday, and it was also the first day he resolved to stop walking (Y/N) to work. She was a big girl, she had pepper spray, and he shouldn’t be giving people the wrong idea. But that plaid yellow skirt was making him nervous.

Despite his reservations, he managed to choke out that he wouldn’t be able to walk her to work that day, and (Y/N) gave no indication that she minded. They talked as normal before going their separate ways after class.

Kuroo Tetsurou was a weak human being. The girl hadn’t gotten more than 20 steps away from him before the memory of that god-awful news story got to him, and he was sprinting after her.

“Kuroo-kun? I thought you had somewhere to be?”

“I-- Uh, I have a little time?”

“But I don’t want you to be late! I can text you as soon as I get there?”

Kuroo hesitated. He really needed to put some distance between them, but could he really leave her to walk by herself? It was getting dark. Would he be able to forgive himself if anything happened to her?

“Look, a dog!” she excitedly pointed out a woman walking her corgi across the quad.

“He’s super handsome!” she called out to the owner, who offered to let her pet him. (Y/N) wore an expression of pure joy as she played with the little dog who was basking in the attention. Kuroo looked from her, to the dog, to her pretty yellow skirt, and he cursed himself for being so weak. Standing up, she thanked the owner, and brushed the nonexistent dust from her skirt.

“Please, Kuroo-kun, I’d never want you to be late because of me.” She was too sweet for her own good.

Kuroo meant to say either, “You’re fine, don’t worry about it,” but decided to say, “It’s a pretty short walk.” Then, he made the mistake of looking down at the tender look she was giving him.

The next thing he knew, he had mixed the two and said, “You’re pretty.”

‘Welp, I’m gonna curl up under than bench over there and never move again.’

“Oh! Ahh,” (Y/N) cupped her cheeks in her hands. Avoiding eye contact, she stared down at her shoes, “Well, ah, Kuroo-kun, you’re not bad looking, yourself… Okay, I’m walking away now! Come with me or don’t,” she squeaked and walked briskly in the direction of Chisai. On instinct, Kuroo got his legs to follow closely behind.

‘At least she’s flustered too. But that’s not the point! Come on, Tetsu. Fix this!’ he scolded himself.

“Sooo… about that test next week--”

“Yes! I meant to talk to you about that! Okay, so what I was thinking is--”

Kuroo was bewildered by the sudden shift in mood. She’d been passionate about school since day one, but right now she was… radiant.

“--and since your notes are so objective, I think it would be a huge help for me if we studied together!”

“(Y/N)what’syourmajor?” he rattled out.

The girl beside him quirked an eyebrow, “Pardon?”

Kuroo cleared his throat, “What’s your major? You just-- You just are so obsessed with--! Wait, not obsessed, I didn’t mean that! I just thought--”

“Kuroo-kun, it’s alright,” she chuckled. “I get what you mean. I know I can be a bit much when it comes to school.”

“It’s really--”

‘--endearing’

“--not a bad thing, though!” She waved him off with an easy laugh. They observed the setting sun over the horizon. The shining light of golden hour hit her just perfectly to give her face an angelic glow. She looked stunning against the autumn leaves.

“No, it’s not a bad thing, though it can be a bit troublesome sometimes. I’m undeclared.” That wasn’t the answer he expected. If she had said, ‘criminal justice’ or ‘neuroscience’ or ‘making people adore me,’ he would have accepted any of those answers as legitimate majors he could see her in.

“Undeclared? But you’re so… So…”

“So, what?” she looked up at him expectantly.

“So… passionate. About learning. I thought you’d thrive in whatever major.” In fact, her insatiable thirst for knowledge was one of the things that drew him to her.

(Y/N) gesticulated wildly with her arms, “That’s just the thing! There are so many things I want to do, I think I could be happy with anything! But there’s so much to worry about, like whether I’ll get a job after university, how long I’ll have to be in school, how much money I stand to make. There are a million things I have to take into account, but… I dunno, I don’t want to make the wrong choice. I don’t want to wake up one day, and wish I could go back to where I am now and make a different choice. Does that make sense?”

Kuroo stared at her with wide eyes. He never would have guessed that the sweet, caring girl who could make friends with a pebble would be feeling so uncertain about her future. Strangely, though, he quite liked it. The fact that she was having such a crisis made her more human, for lack of a better term. Right then, she wasn’t Kenma’s perfect sweetheart of a girlfriend. She was just (Y/N). She must have taken his silence for confusion, as she broke into his thoughts.

“Ahh, Kuroo-san, I’m sorry for going off on you like this. I think pre-finals week is frying my brain, and I’ve just been babbling like an idiot all day,” she recomposed herself.

Kuroo grabbed one of her hands and clutched it in both of his. The taller male looked deep into her eyes.

“No! Don’t apologize. I’m glad you shared this with me.” “That’s sweet of you, Kuroo-san, thank you for--” “And you don’t have to go back to calling me Kuroo-san. Use -kun or you can even just call me Kuroo. I don’t mind.”

Realizing the position they were in, he dropped her hand abruptly. Their walk continued in embarrassed silence. They bid each other farewell at the front steps of Chisai Tea House, and Kuroo made sure he saw (Y/N) get through the shop’s doorway. His amber eyes lingered at the spot she was standing for a moment longer. At peace from his time with her, he turned his back on the shop and decided he might as well be late for this one practice. Behind him, the front door jingled. He turned.

“Good, you’re still here,” (Y/N) panted, “I was serious about studying together. Are you free tomorrow?”

“All day,” he heard himself say.

She made a face like she was trying not to smile too wide, “Great. I’ll text you later this evening. Have a great night, Kuroo,” and she was gone. He ended up not being late to practice at all, and his teammates were commenting on the stupid shit-eating grin he wore the whole time.

~~

Kuroo’s eyes snapped open. When had he fallen asleep? The last thing he remembered, he was on (Y/N)’s bed poring over lecture notes and study guides reviewing the concept of binary fission and how DNA is read from the 3’ end to the 5’ end. If the pastel yellow walls were any indication, he wasn’t in his own bedroom, and the comfortable weight on his chest was definitely not normal. His heart nearly stopped when he looked down at his chest and saw a familiar head of sweet-smelling hair. The girl’s cheek was pressed against his muscular chest and she had one hand over his heart. One of their binders was wedged under her thigh and Kuroo felt a couple highlighters digging into his back. She was breathing softly, and Kuroo couldn’t help but notice how comfortable he felt in that position. Through the door, he heard plates and bowls being shifted around, but if (Y/N) was here, then who was out there?

It suddenly hit him, “Shit,” Kuroo hissed, ‘Oh my god, this isn’t Bro-Code, this is the exact opposite of Bro-Code. Crap, she’s so cute and-- No! This is my best friend’s girl! What happened to distance, Tetsu!? I fucked up I fucked up I fucked up.”

As gently as his haste would allow, he lifted the girl’s head and shuffled out from under her. Deciding he could come collect his stuff later, his mind went into overdrive, and he made a break for the door. He stopped mid-way and looked back at the girl’s sleeping form. Against his better judgement, he found himself removing his Tokyo U team jacket and draping it over her before making a swift exit.

“Hi, Kenma. Bye, Kenma.”

“Kuroo,” Kenma’s quiet voice stopped him from throwing himself out the front door. The middle blocker turned sheepishly.

“Yes?” he squeaked.

Kenma looked up from his breakfast, “Relax. Really, it’s not something to freak out about.”

“You saw that?”

“The door was open this morning.”

Kuroo sighed, “Kenma, I--”

“Stop,” his best friend cut him off, “You’re not a bad friend, Kuroo. Actually, about (Y/N)--”

It seemed the universe had a way of hitting Kuroo with the worst timing possible when the girl that was currently turning his emotions into a jumbled mess waddled down the hall sleepily, draped in his jacket with his name emblazoned on the back.

‘Nope. No, absolutely not,’ he could not have walked out the door any faster. It slammed closed behind him.

“Was that Kuroo that just left?” she yawned.

“Mhmm.”

“Thanks for your jacket, Ken-Ken, I was cold this morning.”

“(Y/N), that’s not mine,” he said through a mouthful of cereal, “It’s way too big.”

(Y/N)’s brow furrowed into her signature look. After a look of realization crossed her face, she raised her hand to her mouth with a quiet ‘oh.’ Her eyes drifted towards the door.

“But why would he--”

“Lately he’s been coming to practice sweaty and completely out of breath,” he told her.

“What does that have to do with me?”

“It’s only ever on Tuesdays and Thursdays.”

“Kenma… What time are your practices?”

“5:30.”

(Y/N) gasped.

“You mean he--?”

“He’s never actually late if that’s what you’re worried about. I just thought you might like to know. Can’t you see how much he cares about you?”

(Y/N) slid into the nearest chair. She sat in stunned silence for a long while, with his jacket still wrapped around her, processing what Kuroo had been doing for her. Kenma waited a while before bringing her back to reality.

“I think you need to tell him about the bet,” he advised.

His roommate nodded, “I will. He really did all that for me?”

“Honestly, (Y/N)? I think he’d give you the moon, if you asked for it.”

~~

“Do you need something, Tetsu-chan? Or are you just admiring my handsome face?” the setter asked. Kuroo’s stare had been burning holes in Oikawa’s back all practice, and it was really starting to get old, which is why the brunette waited until all the other guys had exited the locker room before rounding on his teammate.

Kuroo jumped in surprise. “Don’t-- Don’t be so full of yourself, bastard,” he grumbled. The boy hadn’t realized how long he’d been starting at his teammate.

Oikawa clicked his tongue. He waggled his finger at the taller male.

“Ah, is that any way to get the answers you want? You want to know about my relationship with (Y/N)-chan, don’t you?” Aoba Johsai’s former captain smirked evilly.

“Fine. Yes, I do,” Kuroo growled, “But I didn’t think it was any of my business.”

“That’s definitely true, my dear Tetsu-chan, but because I am a man so pure of heart--” Kuroo rolled his eyes, “--I can’t blame you for being curious about the ex-boyfriend of the girl you have feelings for.”

“I don’t have feelings for-- Wait, what? You two were together?” the taller of the two asked in disbelief. It just didn’t make sense. He understood how anyone at all could fall for (Y/N), but he couldn’t understand how (Y/N) could like the shallow, dramatic man-child before him.

“Yup! For a whole two and a half years,” Oikawa crooned. Two and a half years was a long time. Was it possible the two of them still have feelings for each other?

“I still love her, you know.”

‘Well, that answers that question.’

Honestly, Kuroo was disappointed, but not one bit surprised. If she and Kenma fell through, (Y/N)’s handsome and talented ex-boyfriend still had feelings for her. It wasn’t like he stood a chance when kind, doting Kenma and passionate, charming Oikawa were options.

“I hear you’ve been avoiding her lately. Is that true, Tetsu-chan? Because I know (Y/N) very, very intimately,” he purred that last word, “And I know for a fact that if you distance yourself from her, she will not chase after you. The choice to be in her life is one you alone have to make.” Oikawa’s chocolate eyes were dead serious, his tone was nothing like anything Kuroo had heard from him before. But he was right. After that disaster in her bedroom, Kuroo had been dead-set on cutting contact with her until he could keep his emotions in check. He ignored her texts, stopped walking to work, he even hung out with Kenma at his own apartment instead of theirs. Every minute of it made his heart ache. Her texts increased in frequency as she grew more and more concerned until one day: nothing.

“I can’t do that to Kenm--”

“Get your head out of your ass, Kuroo,” Oikawa snapped. “You wouldn’t be on this team if you didn’t have a good head on your shoulders. So tell me, has anyone explicitly stated that (Y/N) and Kenma were dating?”

Well, it was-- Wait. Kuroo cycled through a hundred different conversations with the two of them and could not come up with a single utterance of the words ‘boyfriend’ or ‘girlfriend.’

“You don’t know, right? Okay, have either of them hugged, kissed, or done anything that cannot be anything except romantic?”

Now that Kuroo thought about it… No. Not once. But what was he trying to say? Oikawa walked over and got right in the blocker’s face.

“If (Y/N) still wanted to be with me, she would be. But, she doesn’t look at me the way she used to. Now she looks at you the same way she used to look at me, so you need to stop acting like a middle-schooler with no problem-solving skills and actually talk to her!”

“And who are you to tell me all this?” Kuroo bit back. “I thought you still loved her. Why are you telling me to go after her?”

Oikawa took several deep, shuddering breaths and looked up determinedly. Kuroo was taken aback by the tears shining in the Grand King’s eyes, “I promised I’d do anything to make her happy. Apparently that involves you now. So, what’ll it be?”

The shorter male backed off first, “Are you going to face whatever the hell you’re so afraid of, or will you keep ignoring her and punish her for your own insecurities?”

With that, the brunette snatched up his belongings and stormed out.

~~

The bonfire burned brightly and it felt like the entirety of the Tokyo U student body was there. After that conversation with Oikawa, Kuroo wasn’t sure what to think. Were Kenma and (Y/N) dating or not? Did (Y/N) have feelings for him? Did he have feelings for (Y/N)? He had spent so much time either being freaked out by her general existence or vehemently denying that he thought about her very much at all, that he hadn’t been able to work out his own feelings.

From: Kenma [9:36 pm]: Where r u? (Y/N) wants to talk to u

Kuroo wasn’t quite sure what he wanted. If he entertained the idea of being with her romantically, all he could picture was him giving her his heart and her deciding she doesn’t want it. Now, he was at this dumb bonfire watching (Y/N) party it up with her friends while he sat at the water’s edge getting sand all over himself. He felt the sand shift beside him and taking the drink offered to him, he said, “Whatever it is, I don’t think I’m in the mood right now, Kou.”

“Oh no, Bokuto-san’s been over there doing keg stands with his frat brothers,” said the absolute last person he was ready to talk to right now. Glancing over, he was met with moonlit eyes and a gentle gaze.

“Hey.”

“Hi.”

(Y/N) set her drink in the sand beside her. Leaning back on her hands, she tilted her head backwards and stared at the stars. They sat silently in the cool night air for several minutes, each waiting nervously for the other to make the first move.

“Kuroo-kun? Did I do something wrong?” she asked quietly, as if she hadn’t meant to speak aloud.

He sighed. This wasn’t what he wanted at all.

“No, it’s-- It’s not you. You didn’t do anything wrong.”

“Then why have you been avoiding me? It’s been three weeks, Kuroo-kun.”

The boy beside her ran a hand through his unkempt hair and exhaled harshly through his nose.

“I know, I know, it’s just. I thought we needed some distance. I was just thinking about you and Kenma, and I don’t know what the hell is going on with that confusing mess of a relationship, and I recently found out that you and Oikawa were together for fucking two and a half years.”

‘That’s enough.’

Kuroo couldn’t stop. All his confusion and frustration was coming to a big, ugly head.

“We were getting close and Kenma is smart and basically internet famous, and Oikawa could have whoever he wants on this campus and he’d get back with you if you just said the word.”

‘Why am I saying this?’

"Every single one of my teammates has commented on how cute you are at some point and I just-- I didn’t want to be involved, you know?”

‘(Y/N), I don’t mean that, I swear.’

Beside him, he heard a loud crunch of plastic. (Y/N) had her red solo cup clenched tightly in her fist. The ripped plastic had cut into her palm and cheap beer was mixing with blood and dripping all over her exposed legs. Her jaw was clenched tight and the girl was shaking with rage.

“What the fuck, Kuroo?!”

“Huh?”

“You got all that crap about me and my relationships with Tooru and Kenma, and you’ve made all kinds of assumptions about me from shit your teammates say about me? Are you kidding me right now? You haven’t bothered to ask me shit! You’ve been skirting around me, asking the men in my life all about me and my relationships, and you say that I’m soooo cute and soooo smart, but apparently not cute and smart enough for you to come to me about stuff that concerns me!”

‘I didn’t know you felt that way.’

“And you know what? You should be fucking confused about me and Kenma because we’re not dating.” (Y/N) snapped to her feet and glared down the bridge of her nose at Kuroo.

“What, you broke up?” Kuroo asked, bewildered.

‘Shut up, shut up!’

“No, it was a bet, okay? Kenma and I made a bet that if we didn’t correct you, you’d never notice we weren’t actually dating.” It was Kuroo’s turn to stand up.

“I-- What-- You--? (Y/N), you made a bet over me?” he fumed.

“Yes, we did, and I admit, it was sort of shitty, but you know what? It wouldn’t have been a problem if you didn’t think you were so damn clever and actually ask me instead! If you were so confused, then why didn’t you just ask, Kuroo?”

He threw his hands up and huffed.

‘You’re right. I’m sorry.’

“I didn’t think it was any of my business!” he yelled back.

“Oh yeah? But my relationship history is your business? I try to be kind and friendly and keep out of people’s way, and my kindness somehow gives people the impression I’m like some shiny handbag that someone may-or-may-not ‘deserve’ to have, but guess what? I’m a human being, and you know what else? I can make my own damn choices.”

If Kuroo was in his right mind right then, he might’ve thought she was right. He might’ve said so and the argument would have been over. Sadly, his mind was reeling from the anger and betrayal over a bet that had him in emotional turmoil for months now. He couldn’t stop now.

“Well, if you hadn’t--”

“I’m not done. I thought you liked me, Kuroo-san, and I can’t believe you think I’d run back to my ex at the drop of a hat. You think I’d go back to Tooru, what, because he ‘could have anyone on this campus’? It fucking blows my mind that we could spend so much time together and, you still think I’m that shallow?”

‘No, you’re not. I’ve never once thought that. I don’t know what I’m saying right now. Why? Why? Why can’t I stop?’

“Well--” he began.

‘Please don’t. Just apologize.’ Kuroo hated feeling so trapped in his own body. It was like he’d been possessed.

“--you were with Oikawa Tooru for over two years. You know what they say about birds of a feather.”

‘No. Anything. Anything but that.’

The (Y/N) he knew, or thought he knew, was gone. She’d completely lost her composure and she gaped at him, wide eyed at his audacity. He thought since she was subdued most of the time, that meant that she only had one layer to her personality, and that was a mistake. The girl in front of him was all fire and passion and burning hot rage.

“How fucking dare you? You barely know him. You just know him by the mask he shows others and the way they treat him. Just like me. You don’t know either of us.”

(Y/N) stormed off towards the parking lot. Her friends tried to intercept her, but they soon pulled back after seeing the irate expression on her face. Kenma reached for her hand, which she snatched back. Looking over at where she was coming from, the dyed blonde locked eyes with his childhood friend. The setter shook his head in disappointment and took off after his roommate.

~~

Taglist: @joyful-jimin @nekomas-kuroo

[kiwi-stan]

Southern Belle

Evelyn has always done exactly what her overbearing parents want, until she meets Harry, their new gardener. I’m a little nervous to post this because I’ve never written OCs in fics before, but I wanted to describe her appearance more and didn’t want to do that with a self-insert so I figured I would give it a shot. There’s probably two more parts to this but I didn’t want it to get too long. 

Eve woke up to the sound of the lawnmower roaring right below her window. She rolled over to see the clock on her nightstand to check the time. It was just after 7 am. In the 19 years he’d worked for the family, Gavin had never mowed the lawn this early. He saved it for the middle of the day so he didn’t risk waking anyone up. She burrowed herself beneath the covers and tried to sink back into sleep, but gave up after about ten minutes. She crawled out of bed and started getting ready for the day. It was her first full day back from college for the summer, and she’d been looking forward to sleeping in and catching up on all the sleep she’d lost during finals week. After breakfast she would go outside and have a word with Gavin. 

Even though it was early, it was a weekday, with Eve knew meant that her father had already left for work and that her mother was at yoga, followed by tennis, lunch with friends, and meetings for her charitable cause of the month. She was alone for the day. Or at least, as alone as she could be in a house so huge it required live-in staff to keep things running smoothly. Eve pulled on an outfit her mother would never approve of, cutoffs and a Barnard T-shirt both purchased when she’d been away at school, and made her way down the spiral staircase into the marble floored entryway. She could smell maple syrup and bacon coming from the kitchen and entered the spacious room to find Joyce standing at the stove making breakfast. 

“Good morning.” Joyce smiled up at her and slid a plate of waffles, eggs, and bacon into a place at the counter. Eve pulled herself up onto one of the barstools and waited as Joyce set a glass of orange juice in front of her. “How does it feel to be back?” 

Eve smiled up at Joyce. With her father always working and her mother always off with friends or getting her hair done, Joyce has basically raised her. She’d been hired as a live-in housekeeper, but once Eve had been born her duties had shifted to being more like a nanny. Now that Eve was older, she was primarily a housekeeper again, but Eve still considered her as a close friend and confidant. “Alright.” Eve said carefully. “A lot has changed though. Since when does Gavin cut the grass this early?” 

Joyce studied her. “Your parents didn’t tell you? He retired. Your father hired someone else. A young man. He’s been here for about a month. He likes to do it first.” 

Eve had spent a grand total of 20 minutes with her parents the previous night before her parents headed off to some dinner fundraiser and she collapsed into bed after a long day of traveling, her father spent 10 minutes criticizing her for finishing the semester with a 3.8 instead of a 4.0 and her mother manager to insult her appearance 3 times, so it wasn’t surprising that there were things they hadn’t told her. Seeming to sense that she’d touched a nerve by bringing up her parents, Joyce quickly changed the subject and began peppering Eve with questions about what college had been like. 

Eve finished her breakfast and Joyce swept the dishes away. The lawnmower was still roaring outside and she found herself growing increasingly annoyed with the sound. She tugged on shoes and headed outside with the intention of telling the new gardener to knock it off. The yard was so expansive that even though he’d been working for an hour, he was still only about halfway done. Eve tried yelling a few times to get his attention, but when that didn’t work she marched toward him and positioned herself directly in his path. He swerved around her. Eve watched him for a few moments to determine his path, then positioned herself so she was blocking his way again. He swerved around her again. This went on a few more times until he finally gave in and turned the lawnmower off. 

“Can I help you?” He asked. Although she’d lived in Atlanta her whole life, Eve’s parents and most of their social set had been educated in the Northeast. No one she knew had a true southern drawl (they’d kept Eve from developing one by hiring a nanny from the Midwest and docking Eve’s allowance anytime she dropped a g). His accent was straight out of Steel Magnolias. 

It took Eve a few moments to get her bearings. Now that he’d stopped moving and she could get a good look at him, she could see that he was much younger than Gavin had been, probably about her age. And cute. Very cute. Messy dark hair covered by a ballcap. Tall. Great body. And he was working without a shirt on. She tore her gaze away from his toned arms to look him straight in the eyes, which turned out to be a mistake since they were startlingly green and kept her tongue tied for a few seconds more. Finally getting a grip on herself, Eve drew herself up to her full height of five foot two and crossed her arms, trying to look as imperious as her mother did when dealing with “the help”. Then she realized she didn’t really want to resemble her mother in any way and she let herself slouch. “Um yes. I live there,” She pointed to the massive house. “And I don’t know if Gavin, the old gardener trained you or anything, but he always used to wait until the afternoon to cut the grass. You know, so people can sleep.” 

A smile slowly spread across the gardener’s face, which of course just made him look even cuter. “William mentioned that he had a daughter,” Eve bristled. Everyone who worked for her family called her parents Mr. and Mrs. Montgomery, and she was Miss Montgoemery to everyone but Joyce. It felt weird to hear someone calling her father by his first name, and she wasn’t sure if she liked the blatant disregard for authority it showed. “He didn’t mention she was hot though.” He continued, letting his gaze slowly rake along her body. 

Eve felt her jaw drop. She knew that, in theory, she should be flattered. One of the best looking guys she’d ever seen in her entire life was hitting on her. But this wasn’t the kind of flirting she was used to. After attending a private, all-girls school her entire life, most of her interaction with guys had been at formal dances and parties, where even the teenagers properly asked women to dance, avoided wandering hands, and grinding was strictly forbidden. “My name’s Evelyn. Or Miss Montgomery.” Eve rarely used her real name, but something about this guy made her want to act more formal, to put more distance between herself and him. 

“Harry,” He waved a hand to indicate the yard. “Anyway, I’m trying to get this done before it gets too hot. It’ll be boiling by the afternoon.” 

“I was trying to sleep.” 

“It’s,” Harry made a big show of checking his watch, a big ugly Timex. “8 am. Most people have to work and they’re up by now. We can’t all just live off our parents, Miss Montgomery.” He said, giving her the look-at-this-spoiled-little-rich-girl look she’d been getting her whole life. 

Eve felt like she’d been slapped. Even though most of her friends had parents who were just as wealthy as her, she’d been judged as the spoiled rich girl her whole life. And yes, she did have just about every material thing she wanted. But she would have traded that for a less lavish lifestyle and supportive parents any day. Being misjudged by people she didn’t even know and who never would understand her life never stopped stinging. 

She knew that he was just waiting for her to threaten to tell her father about the interaction. He probably had a joke about running to daddy when things went wrong or throwing a tantrum to get what she wanted at the ready. Eve refused to give him the satisfaction. She whipped around marched back into the house without another word. 

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Eve spent the next few days avoiding Harry, barely seeing her parents, and waking up before 7 am to the sound of the lawnmower (he started it earlier and earlier every morning. Eve suspected it was just to annoy her). When she had been home for a week and had spent a grand total of twenty minutes with her parents, Eve walked downstairs one morning to find her mother standing in the kitchen, correcting Joyce’s omelette-making technique. Eve glanced down at her cutoffs and tank top and wondered if she had time to run upstairs and change. Her mother saw her before she even had a chance to make a move. “Evelyn! There you are. I’ve got to run to breakfast with the girls, but I wanted to tell you that we’re having a welcome back dinner for you tonight. We’ll eat out on the patio.” Her mother looked at Eve’s outfit and wrinkled her surgically-corrected nose. “Please wear something appropriate.” She said in place of a farewell before breezing out of the house. Joyce gave Eve a sympathetic look as she slid the omelette in front of her. She’d been witness to enough family dinners to know that they were rough for Eve. 

Eve spent the morning sulking and started getting ready for the dinner around 1 in the afternoon. She went through a complete self-care routine, shaving, exfoliating, moisturizing, then blow-drying and curling her hair. While both her parents had perfect golden hair, Eve’s had somehow come out a more reddish-blonde. Her mother had been trying to convince her to bleach it for years, but Eve refused. By the time she’d finished her makeup and dressed in a black shift dress and black heels, Joyce was tapping on her door to summon her down to dinner. Joyce escorted her out to the patio, which Eve had to admit looked beautiful. Harry was good at his job and the flowerbeds nearby bloomed and the hedges were neatly trimmed. The table was situated near the in-ground pool, which gleamed beneath the safety lights. The table was settled beneath a string of Christmas lights and a vase full of red roses sat at the center of the table. Her parents were already seated around the table, her father in a suit and tie and her mother in a long black dress, looking like Barbie and Ken.

Eve had only been sitting for a few minutes and Joyce hadn’t even brought out the first course when her father started talking. “I hope you’ve enjoyed your first week back at home, Evelyn.” 

“I did, daddy.” She said, sensing that the conversation was about to take a turn. 

“Good.” He nodded approvingly. “Now that you’ve had a little time to relax, you’ll need to start preparing for the next school year. We’ve hired a biology tutor who will come every day to help you.” 

“Daddy,” Eve began to protest but was interrupted by Joyce arriving with the salad. She knew better than to argue with her parents in front of “the help”. 

“Give Evelyn a little extra please.” Her mother spoke up. Joyce shot Eve an apologetic look, but knew better than to argue with her employer. “And no dressing for her.” 

“Mother-” Eve began. 

“Evelyn.” Her mother countered, with a look telling her not to argue. Eve bit her tongue. Once Joyce had walked away, her mother continued. “I think you gained weight while you were away at school. You’re not eating that dorm food are you?” 

“Only when I don’t have time for anything else.” Evelyn admitted. Truthfully, she’d spent most of her days eating in the dining hall on quick breaks from studying. She was grateful that her parents didn’t really keep an eye on her meal plan. “But I’ve mostly been using the food budget you gave me to find places in the city.” Eve had spent most of her weekends eating her way through the city. She realized pretty quickly that since her father paid the credit card bill, her parents could see where she was eating, but not what. She had to be careful to find places where there were lots of options, knowing that eating a place that exclusively served burgers would earn her a phone call from her mother and a lecture about her eating habits. But aside from that, she’d been having a good time with her parents not controlling her diet for the first time ever. She’d been careful to keep working out to keep her weight fairly static to keep her mother’s comments at bay, but evidently that hadn’t been enough. 

“While you’re here I’d like you to get back down to a two. Maybe you can start coming to yoga with me. We can’t buy you new clothes if you keep going up a size.” 

Eve caught herself before she rolled her eyes. That gesture was the thing her mother hated most in the world and it would surely earn her a lecture. Her family owned the largest house for miles and the residence itself employed more people than a few local small businesses. She could walk into Neiman’s and buy the entire store if she wanted to and not even make a dent in her father’s bank account. “I still am a two mother. We bought this dress three years ago remember? It still fits.”

“It looks tight.” 

“It’s not.” Eve said, though she’d had a bit of trouble getting the zipper to close and she could feel the fabric straining a bit at her hips. She flashed back to hitting up some thrift stores in New York over the winter when she’d found that some of her clothes didn’t fit (paying cash of course). Maybe she had gained weight. But it wasn’t that much. 

“Yoga sounds like a good idea,” Her father spoke up suddenly. “You could go with your mother then come home and work with your tutor.”

“Daddy, it was a high A minus in one class. I was just a few points away from an A but the professor wouldn’t bump me. She told me she never does. I told you that in my email.” 

“Evelyn, I know, but I want to see all As next semester. A tutor can help with that.” 

“Daddy, it’s summer.” Eve knew she sounded a bit whiny, even she recognized that. But she’d been the last 8 months free from her controlling parents. Slipping back into being the obedient daughter she’d been before wasn’t going to be easy. 

“Evelyn, eat your salad. We’ll talk about this more later.” Her mother broke in, making it clear that the discussion was over for now. Eve ate her dry salad in silence while her parents rattled off a list of events and activities they wanted her to attend with them during the summer. 

It went on like that for another hour and a half. Eve’s father spent the soup course rattling on further about boosting her grades. Her mother spent the whole main course (after instructing Joyce to give Eve a smaller portion than normal) telling Eve how should could fix her makeup, and how to dress in more flattering styles now that she was a little bigger, and if she was sure she didn’t want to bleach her “awful red” hair. By the time Joyce brought out dessert for her parents (her mother had said that Eve didn’t need any) Eve was looking to make a quick escape. 

“Joyce,” Her mother said before she could walk away. Eve watched longingly as her mother stabbed a piece of chocolate cake with her fork. Joyce’s chocolate cake was legendary. 

Joyce whirled around. “Yes, Mrs. Montgomery.” 

“Be in the kitchen at five thirty tomorrow morning. Evelyn will be going on a diet and I need to discuss meal preparation with you.” 

“Yes, Mrs. Montgomery.” She hovered for a few moments longer, shooting Eve an apologetic look.

“You’re dismissed.” 

Before Joyce had even entered the house, Eve spoke up. “Can I go to my room now?” She was feeling drained from two hours of being criticized by her parents and being unable to retaliate. 

“Evelyn, you know it’s rude to leave the table while people are still eating.” Her father said. 

If she’d had more energy, Eve might have commented that it was also rude to eat in front of people, but she was too tired to fight back. She zoned out as her mother rattled on about the city’s eligible young men that were back from college for the summer and how Eve should try to make plans with some of them. If she was lucky, her mother said, she could go off for her sophomore year in a relationship, date for three years, and be in the perfect position to get married right after graduation. Eve made little humming noises of agreement, though she’d secretly promised herself that she would get married before 30 over her dead body. When her parents finally finished eating and said that they were ready to retire for the evening, Eve was up in her room almost immediately. She kicked her shoes off and threw herself down on the bed, too tired to bother with showering or undressing, though she knew if her mother could she her she’d say something about Eve getting a face full of makeup on her clean white sheets. Thinking about her mother made her head hurt, so she rolled onto her back and tried to push that thought out of her mind. 

Eve was just starting to feel some of her strength come back when she heard something tapping on her window. She ignored it, figuring it was just the wind or a bird. When it happened again, she sat up. Her room was on the second floor, meaning no one should be able to reach it. She got up and walked over to the window to investigate. Harry was standing just below her window, illuminated by the pool’s safety lights. As she watched, he threw a pebble at her window. She waited for the little stone to tap the glass before pushing the window open. “What are you doing here?” She didn’t have the energy to chase him away. 

“I just wanted to see if you were okay. I heard some of what your parents were saying and-” 

“You were eavesdropping?” She whisper-yelled down to him, fully aware of the fact that everyone else in the house was asleep. “Hold on. I’m coming down there.” She said, aware that this was probably heading into argument territory and not wanting anyone to overhear her arguing with the gardner at almost 10 pm. Eve closed her window and opened her bedroom door. As expected, the entire house was quiet and dark. Not bothering to change out of her dress or put on shoes, she slipped out of her room, down the stairs, and into the backyard. Harry was standing there waiting for her, somehow looking even cuter than he had when she’d first seen him. His hair was tousled, like he’d gotten out of bed just for this, and he was wearing basketball shorts and a Hawks T-shirt (Eve’s mother had forced her to learn about all the area sports teams as potential conversation starters with local boys). 

“I wasn’t eavesdropping.” He said before Eve could even question him. “I’m living in the guesthouse,” He pointed to the small structure not far away. “I had the windows open and y’all were talking kind of loud. I was going to close them, but I-” He cut himself off. “Can you sit down actually? This is kind of a lot to explain.” 

Eve settled herself on the edge of the pool, dangling her feet in the water. She was annoyed that he’d been listening in a private conversation, and a little humiliated that someone had witnessed her parents berating her. But she wanted to hear his explanation. And, a tiny part of her was happy he’d come to check in on her. No one had ever done that before. “Okay. Explain.” 

Harry sat down next to her. “Okay. So this is kind of personal but my family, it’s just me and my mom and my sister. We don’t have a ton of money. It’s why I’m working here right now. I should be starting my second year of college.” Eve smiled a bit in spite of herself. Her assessment of him being about her age had been right on the money. “So when I got the job here and I saw this big house and a couple living there and they look like Barbie and Ken and she’s the perfect socialite and he’s some super high up guy in business and they have this daughter who also seems perfect, I just think everything in their lives must be flawless. So when I heard you fighting with your parents tonight it was just like of like ‘Okay things are kind of fucked up with them too.’” Eve cringed a bit. She wasn’t used to people swearing freely like that. Her mother didn’t think it was proper and had once actually washed her mouth out with soap when she’d used a curse word. “So I kind of liked seeing that, the whole everyone has problems thing. And because I liked it I kept listening. But I guess the conversation was personal. I mean, I know it was. I shouldn’t have listened. I’m sorry.” 

Eve shrugged. Most of her friends had similar relationships with their parents, but for some reason they all always pretended like they came from perfectly happy families. She tried to keep up the charade too. It would be kind of nice to have someone she didn’t have to pretend around. “It’s okay.” She bit her lip nervously as she looked at him. “You heard everything though?” 

“From when you sat down to when y’all left the table. Sorry.” He said, looking at her sheepishly. 

Eve sighed. “I just, can you not-” 

“I won’t tell anyone.” He finished for her. “And the whole thinking your life’s perfect thing, I guess that’s why I was so mean to you the other morning. I wanted to apologize for that too. You stormed outside of that huge house and were complaining to me and I just thought ‘This girl has everything in the world she could want and she’s still whining’ so my first instinct was to be a dick. But I realize that’s not the case now. I’m sorry.” 

“It’s okay. I was kind of overreacting..”

Harry got to his feet. “Stay here for a second. I have something for you.” 

Eve sat alone for a few moments, swirling her feet in the pool and watching the water eddy around her toes. Harry sat down next to her again, this time carrying a box of Twinkies. He held one out to her. “Since you didn’t get dessert.” 

Eve accepted it. “Thanks.” A Twinkie didn’t really measure up to Joyce’s cake taste-wise, but it was almost as good. Eve had almost never been allowed to have Hostess snacks when she was a child, so she associated them with more lenient relatives and her roommate back at school. She tore it open and bit into it, feeling the sugar and artificial preservatives hit her system. It tasted like heaven after the rabbit food dinner she’d eaten. 

“I’m a twenty year old single guy living alone so my house is basically junk food city. If you’re ever craving something, just come to the guest house. I can hook you up.” 

“Thanks.” Eve said again, half thanking him for the offer and half thanking him for not directly bringing up her diet. She took note of how he’d conveniently mentioned the fact that he was single.

“So,” Harry tore open a Twinkie for himself. “You never answered my original question. Are you okay?” 

“Oh!” Him first appearing beneath her window seemed like it had been forever ago. “Yeah. I guess. I’m used to it.” She said truthfully. She was so used to her parents’ insults that she’d grown almost immune to them, like she’d developed an exoskeleton. 

“That happens a lot?” Harry asked, frowning. 

“Oh yeah.” 

“Your whole life?” He sounded upset now. 

“Since I was like twelve maybe.” Eve said, thinking back. Her parents had never exactly been nurturing, and her mother had always fussed over her looks, but middle school was when the real pressure had started. She felt a little on edge. She didn’t talk about this with anyone really, and she hadn’t planned on talking about it with anyone. Talking about it with a virtual stranger who was not a licensed psychiatrist was unprecedented. “From how you’re reacting I’m guessing that’s not what your family is like.” 

Harry shook his head. “No. Not at all. Like, when I was a kid I would fail a spelling test and my mom would still put it on the fridge. When I brought home Cs in high school she would just smile and say that she would help me so I could do better next time. She felt awful that she couldn’t pay for me to go to college even though I probably wouldn’t have gotten in anywhere good with my shitty grades. When I told her I got his job she was ecstatic and I was like ‘Mom it’s just cutting some rich guy’s grass.’”

Eve laughed, which felt good after the night she’d had. She felt Harry watching her, letting her know that had probably been his goal all along. She was careful not to let her face fall when she thought about how different his life was from hers. She wondered what had happened to his father, but knew that despite the bonding they were doing they weren’t to that level. She’d been raised not to pry into people’s personal lives until you had a close relationship with them, and certainly not the second time you had a conversation with them. 

They were both quiet for a few moments until Harry spoke. “Evelyn?” 

“Call me Eve. My parents are the only ones that call me Evelyn. And you can guess how I feel about that.” 

“Eve, you know nothing your parents said is true, right? I mean, a 3.8, my mom would throw a party if I got grades like that.” He hesitated for a few moments and Eve could see his cheeks turning pink even in the dim light. “And I like your hair how it is right now. And your body looks really good how it is now. Not that I was just like staring at you, but you look great in this dress. You don’t need a diet or to lose weight or anything. I meant what I said that first morning about you being hot. Though I wish I hadn’t phrased it that way.” 

Eve smiled, letting the compliments sink in, feeling like rinsing the salt out of a wound after a few hours of being insulted. “Thanks. I think deep down I know they’re not right, but I hear it so much sometimes I start to question that.” She said slowly. She hadn’t even realized that until Harry had brought it up. 

“If you ever need someone to talk to I’m here,” He pointed to the nearby guesthouse. “Literally. In addition to being a junk food connoisseur I’ve been told I’m very good at giving pep talks.” 

“I might take you up on that. Thanks for listening to me. And thanks for checking in on me. No one’s ever done that before.” 

A sad look flickered across his face and Eve got the feeling that things were done very differently in his household when someone was upset. “Do you want another Twinkie? You can hide it in your room somewhere and eat it the next time you need a pick me up.” Eve accepted one gratefully. “And I meant what I said. Anytime you need to talk to someone just come bang on my door. Or come throw rocks at my window or something.” He said with a little smile. He pressed a quick kiss to her cheek before getting to his feet. “Good night, Eve.”

f“Night.” She said, watching him walk back to the guesthouse as her cheeks turned red.

[darkficsyouneveraskedfor]

Surprise

Warnings: Spanking, choking, breeding, oral, sexy sex.

Summary: Sam's girlfriend has a surprise for him but there are even more in store for the happy couple.

Note: Okay, This is my first Sam fic and it's not even dark! Wow is this for real? And it's all thanks to @mcu-bucky-barnes

<3 Please like, reply, and/or reblog if you read. <3 Love you all.

Sam returned in the evening. As usual, Bucky wasn't far. Their last mission was a success. You had a surprise for both of them. 

Bucky's birthday was during the mission. As an intelligence officer, it was your job to know. As a friend, it was just as important. You revealed the layered cake as they sat at the long island. Sam sang along with your out of tune Happy Birthday and Bucky shook his head embarrassed. 

"You really didn't have to," He said as you handed him the knife. He smiled at the vanilla icing and sprinkles. "How'd you know vanilla was my favourite?"

"A lucky guess," you lied. You wouldn't mention how you noticed how he opted for the lighter desserts at Tony's parties. "Me and Sam also got you a little something."

You pulled out the small box hidden in the cupboard and placed it next to the cake. 

"Well, it was really Sam's idea."

"Hey, I wouldn't have even remembered it was your birthday if it wasn't for her. What is this? 200 years now." Sam kidded.

"Be nice," You jabbed Sam and he grabbed your hand. He pulled it to his lips and kissed it.

"Forgive me, my queen." He rubbed the back of your hand with his thumb and let go reluctantly. "Go on and open it before my mouth gets me in any more trouble."

Bucky chuckled as he finished cutting the cake. He set the knife down and took the wrapped box. He tore the paper from the hinged leather box. He turned it in his hand and pushed it open.

He smiled. He lifted the pocket watch by its chain and it dangled before him. The light gleamed off the J.B.B. engraved into it. He opened it and watched the hands tick.

"You...thank you." He snapped it shut and tucked it back on the cushion.

"The initials were her idea. I just knew an old man like you would appreciate a nice antique." Sam snickered.

Bucky squinted at Sam dangerously. You tutted and grabbed a stack of small plates from the cupboard behind you.

"Alright. Let's dig in before you two ruin the moment." You intoned.

"Thank you," Bucky set the box aside. "Both of you."

-

Sam's surprise had to wait til you were alone. Despite their antagonistic banter, the two of them shared everything. Well almost. Some things were better kept private. 

When you finished your cake, you excused yourself. They had to report back to Tony and you had to seal off the mission file. The time sloughed by like molasses. You were growing impatient as the underwire dug into your chest. The panties chafed along the top of your thighs. That was only part of the surprise. 

You and Sam shared a room in the compound. It made little sense for you to have your own when you spent all of your free time in his. Even when he was away, you liked to sleep in his bed. You could smell him. It was almost like he was there. It made the loneliness a little easier.

You got back first. No doubt he and Bucky had gotten distracted after their meeting with Tony. They always managed some sort of mischief. It was a wonder Tony even let them work together anymore.

It was late. He’d be back soon. A few minutes to freshen up yourself and the place. In his time away, you had left candy wrappers on your nightstand and some clothes on the chair. Tuck those away, light some candles, dim the lights. All was ready.

You pulled the chair up and waited facing the door. The armchair was cushy. It would be easy to fall asleep, especially after such a long day. You pinched yourself and sat up. You heard voices in the hall. The handle wiggled and you listened to the farewells on the other side.

Sam finally entered. He blinked a few times as he closed the door behind him. He looked around, scarves on the lamps, bed made up, smooth music on low. He liked these welcomes. His smirk said as much. 

“I see you missed me,” He teased as he entered. He slung his jacket over the bench by the door. 

You stood and neared him. His hands were on your hips in a moment. You kissed him and pressed your body to his. He was always gentle. At first.

You pulled away and looked into his warm eyes. You traced along the thin line of his goatee. A low rumble rose from him. He was ticklish. “I missed you too, my queen.”

“Well, this isn’t your surprise. Know that.” You grinned and placed your hands on his. 

You backed away and pulled him with you. You turned and guided him back to the chair. He sat as his legs hit the cushion and beamed up at you. You touched his shoulders and leaned down to kiss him. He kissed you back. Tender at first, then hungry. He leaned forward as you drew away. You held him back and shook your head.

“Patience,” You reproached. “You’re surprise is twofold.”

“Uh-huh...I mean, I’ve seen it all before, haven’t I?” He winked.

“Have you?” You challenged with a tilt of your head. “Well if this all so boring to you, I am rather tired.”

“I didn’t...Please, my queen, don’t leave me like this,” He begged. “I’ll shut up.”

“Oh, you do know the way to a woman’s heart,” You keened. “Sit back. Relax.” 

He did as you bid. He gripped the arms of the chair eagerly as you gripped your hips provocatively. You kicked off your shoes and socks. The least sexy part of your little routine. With that out of the way, you reached to your collar and slowly unbuttoned your blouse. His eyes followed you fingers. A twinkle in his warm brown irises.

You pulled the striped cotton down your arms and revealed the dainty pink bodice hidden beneath. The cups were speckled with little flowers, your nipples barely visible through the sheer fabric. The boning stretched down your stomach and just beneath your pants.

You unclasped your fly and shoved your trousers down your hips. The matching panties hinted at your neatly shaved vee. He hummed and he spread his legs wide in the chair. You dropped your pants and stepped out of them. You flung them away with your foot and licked your lips. 

You slinked over to the chair. You ran your hands along his arms and to his shoulders. You leaned in and rubbed your nose against his. His breath was hot, dusky. You hovered your lips just away from him.

“You want the next part of your surprise,” You asked. He nodded and his fingers caressed the thin lace at the top of your hip. “Babe…” You smiled as your hand slipped down to his chest. “I’m ovulating.”

You kissed him as he smiled. He groped your ass and squeezed. You pulled back and snatched his hand away. You twined your fingers through his as he bit his tongue. 

“So…” His voice was low; intoxicating. “You gonna get daddy ready?”

You turned and wiggled your ass at him. He purred. You reached behind you and gripped the arms of the chair. He pulled his hands away as you leaned back and rubbed your ass along the front of his pants. You felt his cock twitch. His hands traced the curves of your sides and he held your hips as you grinded on him.

“Mm-mm-mm,” He ran his hands along your back and slapped the top of your ass. “You know I can’t handle all that.”

You giggled and stood straight. You spun around and bent to touch his legs. You dragged your hands up his thighs and felt along his crotch. He was hard. You got to your knees and unzipped his fly. You tugged on his jeans with a helpless murmur and he grinned.

He leaned back and lifted his ass. He forced his jeans and briefs down and sat back down. You pulled his pants lower and carefully took his cock from his briefs. His pants restrained him as you shimmied closer. You took his dick in your hand and stroked it lightly. He shivered.

He was thick. You relished the feel of him. In your hand, in your pussy. He was everything and more. Your core sparked and you licked your lips with a hum. You stroked his length and he sank against the chair with a groan.

You bent forward and watched your hand play with him. You swirled your thumb around his tip and he hissed. You tickled along his pelvis with your other hand. He shook and grabbed your wrist. 

“You know I’m ticklish,” He snickered. “Please.”

“Oh, you like it,” You wriggled out of his grasp and caressed him again. 

He held his breath and grabbed the arms as you tortured him with your fingertips. You delighted in his struggle. You bent closer and licked the head of his cock. He moaned and you repeated the little flick. You slicked the tip with your tongue and wrapped your lips around it. He gasped at the sudden warmth of your mouth.

You took him an inch at a time. You pressed your tongue against him and dragged your nails along his thigh. You moved your hand along his cock in time with your mouth. He groans were like a symphony, as smooth as the jazz in the air.

You slipped your hand down and cupped his sack. He shuddered and you pushed until he was in your throat. You forced yourself to your limits before you pulled back. Your drool shone on his dick. You swallowed him again and again and again. You kept your hand in play as you devoured him, your lips gliding faster and faster along his length.

“Oh fuck,” Sam touched your cheek and you removed your mouth with a pop.

You smiled up at him and stroked his dick with your hand. You batted your lashes at him and bent over him. You licked along his sack; you could taste the spit that had gathered there. You kept your hand in motion as you lapped at him.

“Mmm, don’t waste it now,” He warned and you slowed your pace. 

You pulled your mouth away and looked up at him. “Tell me what you want, daddy.”

“You know what I want,” He growled. 

You removed your hand from him and leaned back on your heels. You could feel how wet you were against the lace panties. You backed up just a little and ran your hands along the thin lingerie. You turned and swayed your ass at him.

“You know I hate it when you tease me,” His hand surprised you as he smacked your ass. 

You trilled and bent over. He slapped you again. You moaned and he did it again and again. Your ass stung as he spread his palm over it and slid it down until his thumb was against your panties.

“You’re fucking wet,” He marvelled. “Fuck.”

He pushed two fingers beneath the thong and dragged them along your slick pussy. He pulled them away and you shivered. You stood and turned to him. He held up his fingers and licked your juices away with an exagerrated mmmm. You nibbled your lip and stepped closer.

You pushed him back in the chair and climbed up in his lap. You kept yourself up on your knees and reached below for his cock. He moaned as you gripped him and rubbed his tip along your damp panties. You shoved aside the lace and angled him along your entrance.

You eased onto him with a sigh. “You gonna fill me up, daddy?”

“Oh, you fucking know it.” 

He grabbed the straps of your bodice and forced them down your shoulders. He pushed the cups of the lingerie past your tits and cupped them in his hands. You rocked atop him and he groaned. He bowed his head and took your nipple in his mouth as he tweaked the other with his fingers. You whined and he suckled harder.

You tilted your pelvis against his and his other hand grasped your ass. He guided your motion as he buried his face in your chest. He lifted you so that each thrust was deeper than the last. Your flesh slapped against his and added to the sting in your ass.

You kept the motion as he let go and smacked your ass every time you dropped your hips. You trembled as you clawed at his chest. You brought them up slowly and wrapped your fingers around his neck. He leaned his head back and nodded. You squeezed and he grunted in delight.

You rode him as you tightened your hold on him. His breath grew quicker and rougher. You mewled as his cock plucked at your core. You slammed your ass down as you chased your orgasm. It rose from you shrilly and you hung your head back as your thighs tingled.

“You want daddy to fill you up?” He rasped and you nodded. 

You choked him even more as you felt him near his peak. “Yes, daddy, please. I want you to fill me up.” You cried. “I want you to give me your baby.”

He purred but it caught in his throat. You loosened your grip afraid you had gone too far. His brown eyes rounded as he looked behind you. You slowed and looked over your shoulder. You stopped dead as your eyes met Bucky’s, his metal hand on the door as he gaped at you.

“Hey bro, maybe knock next time,” Sam cleared his throat and kneaded your ass. “Thanks.”

He lifted you and Bucky dumbly stepped back and pulled the door closed. You looked back to Sam, a crooked smirk on his face. “Well, where were we?” 

Soon, he had your hips rocking just as fast as before. Your cheeks were on fire as you thought of your unexpected visitor. You bit your lip to muffle your moans and let him guide you. It wasn’t long before you were swept away in his touch.

“Mmm, yeah, I’m gonna cum,” He grunted as his fingers dug into your hips. “Ah, shit.”

You felt him burst inside you and basked in his warmth as you slowed. You sighed and fell against him, your arms around his neck as he hugged you to him. He kissed along the top of your chest and pushed his hand down along your ass. He felt around until his fingers slid through the cum seeping out around his dick.

“I think that was the one, babe,” He tilted his head and you kissed him. He hummed into your lips and drew away. “But I think we should try again...just to be sure.”

-

Bucky was tired. He waited all day to go to bed. The mission had been long. He never really slept when he was on the road. If it wasn't for Sam’s girl and Tony’s pestering, he would’ve napped the minute he stepped into the compound.

The thought of the cake made him blush. The pocket watch too. She didn’t have to do that. Neither did Sam. Sometimes he felt like a burden. They always went out of their way for him. Always made him feel included even when he was so obviously a third wheel.

His room was just down the hall from Sam’s. He shared it with her. Bucky bid him farewell just outside. He strode to his own door as Sam disappeared behind his. He had the leather box in his hand. 

The door clicked shut and he opened the box. He flicked on the light and held it up to admire the watch beneath it. He left it open as he placed it on his dresser.

He sat on the side of his bed and began to unlace his boots. He thought about the mission; the day behind him; that ahead of him. His foot slipped, his boot loose around it, and he stomped the floor without thinking. 

Shit, he forgot to tell Sam about the ring. Shit. He couldn’t keep forgetting this shit. He made a promise.

Bucky stood and dragged his feet back to the door. He tramped down the hall to their door. He raised his hand to knock but his knuckles never touch the wood. He could hear voices from the other side. Uneven and laboured. 

His chest filled with heat as he leaned closer to the door. His fingers were around the handle before he could think. Before the dots connected in his head. He opened the door and stopped dead.

The room was dim and low horns crooned along with a tinny drum beat. The voices mingled with the jazzy tunes and his eyes widened as they clung to the source. He held onto to the door to keep himself steady.

Sam was beneath her in the chair. Her hands were around his neck as she rocked in his lap. Bucky could see Sam’s cock as it slid in and out of her. The pink thong was crooked along her ass as it slapped against the dark thighs below.

“Yes, daddy, please. I want you to fill me up.” She begged. “I want you to give me your baby.”

Bucky’s mouth fell open and he found it hard to breathe. He couldn’t believe it was her. The same woman who baked him a birthday cake. The shy intelligence officer who fidgeted everytime he was near. His best friend’s girl who was too sweet to be sour.

Sam’s eyes met his and a grunt caught in his throat. She slowed as she sensed the change and peeked over her shoulder. She blanched as she spotted Bucky. 

“Hey bro, maybe knock next time,” Sam cleared his throat and squeezed her ass. He looked back to her unbothered. “Thanks.”

Bucky slowly stepped back and closed the door. He gulped and finally caught his breath. He couldn’t remember why he had gone to their room. Something he probably could’ve told Sam tomorrow.

He could still hear them. He couldn’t move away as all he could feel was the twitch in his pants. He grew harder as he listened. He leaned in so that his ear was to the door. 

They stopped but only for a moment. He could just make out the words through the wood and jazz music. “...I think we should try again...just to be sure…”

Bucky’s metal hand rested against the door and he closed his eyes. He pictured the scene. Imagined how she was now starting once more to ride Sam. The sound of her moans and his; the slickness of her pussy as it clung to his dick. His own groan surprised him. Brought him back to reality.

Bucky pushed himself away from the door. He looked down at the bulge in his jeans and rubbed it without thinking. He held his aching cock through the denim and turned away. He walked slowly back to his room; almost limping as his erection rubbed against his pants.

He closed the door behind him and leaned against it. He took a few deep breaths and looked at his empty room. He unbuttoned his fly and pushed down his zipper. He pulled his cock out and shut his eyes.

He stroked himself as he thought of her ass bouncing up and down. As her voice filled his head and urged him on. He imagined her wetness along his length; glistening and warm.

He had never dared to think of her this way but now he couldn’t think of anything else.

[ladywynneoutlander]

Heart’s Abundance

More sweet times on the Ridge as William finds his place.

Part 2 Hearthside

Part 1, Part 3, Part 4, Part 5 , Part 6

After our harvest meal the afternoon passes in pleasant repletion. The adults scatter to various corners to doze and chat. Jem, Germain, and Fanny disappear outside. I can hear them laughing as I lay a quilt over a sleeping Mandy. She took to John Quincey immediately, and is now curled up beside him on the settle.  

This state of peaceful repose lasts approximately an hour. Then Jamie stands and stretches himself, back popping. He looks at William, “Will ye walk wi’ me? I can reacquaint you with the place.”

William stands as well, nodding, “Yes, of course.” He remains a bit formal, and I wish I knew more about their last meeting.

I watch them from the kitchen door as they go, boots crunching the fallen leaves with each step, so alike in gait and height that no one could fail to see them for what they are, a father and his son.

When I turn around Ian is there with his baby in his arms. He stares thoughtfully at the door for a moment before sitting down at the table. He says nothing and I wait patiently, taking the baby and feeling his warm heavy weight. Finally, Young Ian turns to me, “Ye know Auntie, I don’t know why yon man has come, but I think maybe it’s to do with you as well as Uncle Jamie.”

I shake my head. “I don’t think so Ian. Whatever would William want with me?”

Ian gives a small smile, “Maybe he needs ye.”

I gently rock the baby, not looking up as I say, “No. What use could I possibly be?”

Ian touches my arm to draw my attention. His brown eyes are soft. “Ye can be kind. Ye can be a comfort.”  

His voice becomes more matter-of-fact. “The Mohawk do say women are great healers of body and spirit. They provide strength and consistency to all.” He smiles at me, “Maybe William needs to find his strength just now.”

I nod, but I’m not convinced. “Maybe.”

We sit a moment longer, enjoying the peace. I smooth the baby’s soft downy hair, then give him my finger, watching in fascination as the tiny hand closes around it even in sleep.  

Finally, Ian moves to go. “Just think on it, Auntie, aye?” He takes the little one and leaves to find Rachel.  

I stay by myself for a time, and it comes to me how much William has been through. The loss of two mothers (three if you count me) and Jane. Consistency indeed. Also, the loss of his very identity. He had been loved, that much I knew, but must feel very alone and confused just now. I remember how difficult the same situation was for Brianna. She felt heartbroken and torn, betrayed. Compassion wells in me, and as the sun sinks behind the trees I feel a tear slide warm down my cheek.

                                                            -o0OOO0o-

That evening, lying close and warm next to Jamie, I hear how their meeting went.  

Jamie took the boy to the White Spring, that place of truth. William was quiet on the trail, turned inward. When they arrived, Jamie broke the thin scrim of ice and took a cold mouthful. William did the same, wiping his mouth on his sleeve.  

Jamie settled himself on a boulder and smiled at the boy.  “So, if ye’ll forgive my asking, what brings ye to the Ridge?”

William didn’t answer immediately. He sat as well and drew in a deep breath before speaking. “First, I should like to thank you for your assistance in the matter of Jane, and also for the care you’ve given her sister.”

Jamie waves his hand in dismissal, “’Twas nothing lad. Any decent man would have done the same.”

William gave a mild snort, “I take leave to doubt that. Still, not any man did. You did, and with barely a thought. I knew M--,” he hesitated, then went on, “Mother Claire, both she and my father say you are an honorable man. Apparently, they are right.”

They sat with this for a moment, admiring the slant of golden sunlight through the yellow of chestnut and birch. When William didn’t say more Jamie ventured, “The thought had occurred to me that ye may be in some trouble?” He made the last into a question.

William shrugged irritably. “No. Not trouble exactly. I have someone to find, my cousin Ben, but I cannot continue in that search until spring. That’s not why I’m here.” He stood up suddenly, and paced a bit before taking a deep breath and facing Jamie squarely. “I have come to ask if I might stay for a time. Here,” he adds, as if there were doubt, “on Fraser’s Ridge.”

Jamie was surprised, but quickly brought his face back to neutrality. He still thought William likely needed help in some way, but maybe it isn’t the kind he needed before. He stood and extended a hand, grasping the lad’s shoulder. “Aye, of course, ye’re always welcome.”

Wiliam takes a step backward, away from him, but not in a harsh way. “Thank you. I don’t require anything. I can sleep in the barn or wherever is convenient.”

Jamie smiled at him, “Aye, that’s good, but we can likely find ye a bed.”  

They made their way home in the last light of the day. Jamie felt as though a new path had opened before him, unknown and steep, but one that led to a bonny place.  

                                                             -o0OOO0o-

The next day we bid farewell to John Quincey, off to overwinter with the Cherokee. William stays. He gradually fits into the routine of the Ridge; hunting, doing farm chores, and joining Roger or Bree whenever they venture out. He is beloved instantly by the children, playing with the boys, talking with Fanny, and carrying Mandy perched high on his shoulder. Still, he is mostly quiet, listening and observing.

I can tell Brianna is pleased, eager to embrace this new brother. William seems equally in awe of her, and they seem to find joy in each other. More than once I catch Jamie watching them, a look of quiet happiness on his face.  

One day I come into the study to find Jamie looking out the window. Outside Brianna and William are exercising the horses, walking them in circles and brushing their shaggy winter coats. He doesn’t turn, but he must have sensed me, because he holds his hand out toward me, inviting. I take it and he draws me against him. I circle my arms around his waist, and feel his arms come around me in turn, the warmth of him a comfort and a blessing.

Jamie is still engaged in the scene outside, “I never thought to see such a grand thing, Sassenach.”

I give him a squeeze of acknowledgement and laugh. “Neither did I! I nearly fell off the porch when I saw William.”

Jamie smiles as well, “Aye, and ye weren’t the only one.”

He holds me for a while longer. I look up at Jamie’s face, happy now, but with tiny lines framing his striking blue eyes. I can feel the scars on his back beneath his shirt, and it comes to me how many hardships he faced to bring us to this moment. I am moved with love for him, and lay a hand over his heart. “Jamie, I want you to know. I’m glad he’s here. We all are.”  

Jamie takes my hand and turns to face me fully, “I know ye are. You are a wonder, truly. He isna yours, and it isna right that he should be here to torment you. Thank ye Claire, for welcoming the lad.”

“Posh,” I say gently. “He’s yours, Jamie, for that alone I would love him. But also…” I pause, looking outside while I gather my thoughts. “Also, I love him for himself. He’s a fine boy and he was very kind when I spent time with him in Boston.” I know Jamie doesn’t like to recall my marriage to John Grey, but it matters here. “I think- maybe, I can be there for him, maybe be a sort of mother to him.”

Jamie doesn’t answer and I glance up. I am surprised to see unshed tears glimmer in his eyes. “He couldna have a finer one,” he says huskily. He pulls me close then, bends his head, and kisses me. His mouth is soft and his arms are strong, and all is warmth and hope between us.

                                                            -o0OOO0o-

The evenings are long in winter. It is the time for songs, and fires, hearth and home. When the family gathers late in the evening, the children tucked in bed, we often tell stories. We hear Highland tales of kelpies and fairies, farmers and lairds. We hear personal stories about family and friends, also C.S. Lewis, E.B. White, Louisa May Alcott, the lives of Saints, romantic poetry, and Greek heroes. And in each telling, regardless of the subject, we reveal a bit more of ourselves to one another.

It is nearly a fortnight before William tells a story of his own, venturing forth with a story about Sergeant Cutter that has laughter ringing from the rafters, fit to wake the entire Ridge. He speaks more often after that, sometimes tales of adventure, and rarely, of his boyhood. Once he even mentions a groom named MacKenzie.  

Tonight we are up particularly late, and the room has grown quiet. The air is heavy, and I know we will wake on the morrow under a blanket of white. Into this expectancy William speaks. Quietly, his elbows on his knees as he watches the hearthfire, he begins a story of Isobel.  

“Mother Isobel loved Christmas. She festooned every railing and mantel with greenery. The whole house smelled grand. Even if it were only the two of us, as it often was after we lost grandfather, we sang carols, and had pudding and candies. She made it special every year… magical. To a boy.” He pauses and we wait, listening to the gentle crackle and pop of dried pine wood.  

“One year there was a terrible storm. I remember the wind howling down the chimneys and causing the yule log to flare up and wave about. I was frightened and began to cry and whinge. I was a little devil truly. I was really crying from loneliness though, and from being left behind. Mother Isobel somehow knew the truth of it. She took me onto her lap and stroked my hair. ‘Willie, my darling, sometimes those we love cannot be with us. We may wish it fervently, but circumstances cannot be changed. Absence doesn’t mean they love us less, or we them. Indeed, it is often their care for us that keeps them away. They must do what is necessary. But remember love, they are never gone from our hearts.’”  

William looks at Jamie. “I thought those words ridiculous then. I felt abandoned, and I let my grief turn to anger at those who left me.” He takes a deep breath, “Now though, I think I understand, and I find Mother Isobel was wise indeed.”

“Aye, that she was,” Jamie says kindly.

We sigh collectively. Roger pulls a guitar into his lap, strumming a chord. “Let’s have a tune. A song to love’s sacrifices,” he says in his rough voice. He turns to Brianna and smiles. “They are always worth it.”

As Roger plays my mind wanders. First to William and his story. Yes, maybe healing of a kind is needed, hopefully has begun already. I will do all I can to help, and the peace of the Ridge will be a balm if William lets it. There is no outside world, no war here. Not yet. Not in winter.

The sacrifices of love. I remember Frank and dear Uncle Lamb. Then further, to Geillis, Dougal, Rupert, and Colum. They all loved, whether people or causes or places or things, and made their choices accordingly. And where were they now? I shudder and Jamie pulls me closer against him, a buttress against the past. I lean on him gratefully. We two know better than anyone the heavy sacrifice that true love can require, and times like this are all the more precious for the knowing. So I return to the present, put my head on Jamie’s chest, and simply listen.

Thanks for reading!  I promise family fun next week!

[chinguwritings]

A 3RACHA Fan-Fiction

|| Ch 1 || Ch 2 || Ch 3 || Ch 4 || Ch 5 || Ch 6 ||

A/N: Even though this isn’t doing well, this is the first time in years that I’ve written something for myself and for that reason, I’m gonna keep posting. For any of you who are reading and enjoying this, I hope you like this next chapter! ~ Admin Kay

Chapter 2 - Him

Genre: Angst, Smut, Hanahaki AU

Rating: R (swearing, mentions of depression, suicide, & death, sexual scenes)

Word Count: 3.7k

“Jisung…” Changbin addressed as he lightly nudged him, trying to wake him up. “Jisung!” he said louder, this time shaking him, “You gotta wake up, or else we’ll be late.”

“Ugh,” Jisung mumbled as he shifted in his bed, still refusing to open his eyes, “What time is it?”

“9:45, and we’re supposed to be there at 10. Hurry up and get ready,” Changbin demanded as he rushed out of the room.

“Ugh… dammit,” Jisung complained as he forced himself out of his bed, quickly finding something to wear before heading out.

“Why are you so tired?” Changbin asked as the two boys quickly made their way to the studio.

“I uh- couldn’t sleep last night…” Jisung stuttered, thinking of something on the fly.

“Why? I finished practicing pretty early.”

“It's just… it was one of those nights, y’know?” he replied, hoping Changbin would buy it. Thankfully, it seemed as though he did, considering he put a sudden halt on the questions and just continued on their rush to get to the studio on time.

As they walked, Jisung couldn’t help but reminisce about the emotional experience he’d shared with Chan the night before. It ended up going a lot better than he expected, well, the confession part at least, and now, Jisung valued it as a very special moment in his life that he would cherish forever.

~

“Chan… I’m gay.”

For a moment, there was silence, a shocked expression on Chan’s face as Jisung nervously anticipated his reaction. His heart began to sink the longer the silence drew out, worries filling his head that maybe Chan didn’t agree with such a lifestyle… or maybe he was just worried about Jisung’s career. Afterall, being an idol is tough, and the crowds are always judgemental… maybe something like this really wasn’t good for him… maybe he should’ve kept his mouth shut. Jisung gulped hard, his eyes stinging as he fought back tears.

Maybe this was all a mistake…

Finally, after what felt like forever, Chan rested his hands on each of Jisung’s shoulders, a proud and emotion-filled smile appearing on his face, “Jisung… I’m so proud of you. Coming out… is an incredibly difficult thing to do.”

Jisung let out a huge sigh of relief, the tears that were once filled with worry quickly becoming tears of joy and relief.

“Come here,” Chan spoke, quickly pulling Jisung into a tight hug, “I support you, one hundred percent… and I know the right guy is out there for you somewhere. But if you manage to end up with someone who isn’t treating you right along the way, make sure you tell me so I can kick his ass.”

~

When Jisung planned on coming out, he had hoped that Chan would at least be accepting of his sexuality, but he never imagined he would be that supportive. He was grateful though, knowing that Chan’s positive reaction was a step in the right direction, despite the fact that he might not necessarily share the same sexuality as Jisung. He decided to hold on to the hope that maybe Chan really was gay too, but he just hasn’t yet come to the realization.

“What are you so happy about?” Changbin questioned, noticing that Jisung had been dozing off and was now smiling like an idiot, “Are you high?”

“H-happy? Am I happy?” he chuckled nervously, trying to save himself, “I think it's just the lack of sleep making me go crazy.”

Although he let it slide, yet again, Changbin wasn’t really buying Jisung’s excuses. He knew Jisung was hiding something from him, but he didn’t really want to dig for it; he wanted Jisung to tell him himself since he wasn’t the type to butt his nose into other people’s business.

To no surprise, they arrived at the company five minutes late, so quickly the two boys waved to each other and they parted ways, Changbin rushing to the recording room while Jisung made his way to the dance studio.

“Hey, Binnie,” Chan greeted as Changbin walked through the door.

“Hey,” he replied dryly and took a seat next to Chan at the soundboard, “Sorry I’m late, Jisung wouldn’t wake up this morning.”

“No worries, it’s all good. We still got a lot of time,” Chan shrugged it off as he flipped through the lyrics papers of the song Changbin was recording today, “Warm up your voice, Bin. We’ll start recording in ten minutes.”

* * *

“It’s sounding good, Changbin,” Chan praised as he finished listening to the final recording for the day, “There’s a few rough patches, but for the most part it’s pretty good.”

“Thanks, I’ve been practicing…” he muttered quietly, trying not to engage with him too much.

“Definitely sounds like it, keep up the good work!” Chan smiled, throwing him a thumbs up.

As much as he tried to hide it, Changbin couldn’t fight the little smile that crept onto his face. Most of the time, he would avoid being influenced by anything Chan said to him, not wanting to take any of their conversations to heart, but every now and then, Chan would be extra nice with the compliments and praise. Those were the times that he’d find it extremely difficult for him to just ignore; so before he could dwell on his feelings any longer, he decided to take his leave, quickly snatching his phone out of his pocket as he bid Chan farewell and headed towards the door.

“Changbin, wait!” Chan blurted as he jumped up from his seat and chased after him.

“Yes?”

“You uh… this fell out of your pocket…” Chan spoke awkwardly as he held out a braided bracelet that he’d retrieved from the floor when Changbin took out his phone. Tension suddenly filled the air as Changbin quickly recognized the item and snatched it from Chan’s hand, a slight blush forming on his cheeks as his eyes darted to the ground.

“You don’t wear it anymore, huh?” Chan spoke in an almost sad tone, mutually breaking his gaze at Changbin.

“Neither do you,” Changbin mumbled under his breath before turning and finally storming away from Chan.

He still carries it though… Chan thought to himself as he stepped back into the recording studio to close up.

“Hello?” Changbin spoke through the phone, clearing his throat as he walked down the long hall to the practice room to meet Jisung, “I just finished, I’m on my way.”

“Okay, I’m almost done too. See you soon.”

After hanging up, he let out the cough that he’d been holding back while on the phone, his eyes widening as he was met with an unwanted acquaintance that he was luckily able to avoid for quite some time now. In his hand, rested a couple of flower petals… petunia petals, yellow in color.

[Stage 3, Yellow: Anger ~ petunia // symbol of anger and resentment]

It’d been at least a month since his last flare, and he really thought maybe this time, he’d gotten over it… but no, of course he hadn’t. Any time he had a close interaction with Chan, typically unintentional, it would always come back. He could feel his chest starting to ache the more he thought about it, his symptoms always seeming to worsen when he got into his head about the situation. Tossing the petals into a nearby trash can, he took a seat on one of the benches in the hall and took deep breaths to clear his mind.

It would be bad if he vomited a shit ton of petals right outside of the practice room, considering he never told Jisung about his condition and he had absolutely no intention of doing so. He decided after a few minutes of breathing that he’d better just go back home and apologize to Jisung later. Although the breathing exercises helped him relax and slow his heart rate, he wasn’t able to shake the uneasiness he was feeling in his lungs; he felt it was too risky to be with Jisung in such a state considering they'd be walking home together. Even though they were best friends, the burden he carried still felt like a fresh wound and he just wasn’t ready to open up about it to anyone yet; he couldn’t handle the pain that came with thinking about it.

Once he got home, he locked himself in the bathroom and let himself sink into his thoughts again, the pain in his chest and lungs quickly returning and worsening. In front of people, Changbin always hid behind a mask, bottling his feelings and putting on a happy face… he didn’t want anyone to know he was suffering, but behind closed doors, he was anything but happy, fighting depression that sparked from his unrequited love and the dumb disease that came with it. He always asked himself what was even the point of feelings or love? It’s never like the movies where two people just happen to fall in love and it works out perfectly… So why was he even trying?

Changbin’s eyes stung as he continued to dwell in his thoughts and that’s when the pain he felt earlier suddenly intensified. Hunching over the toilet bowl, flowers petals agonizingly spewed from his lungs, the same yellow petunia petals from earlier that day now floating delicately on the clear water. He could also make out a few petals that were different; they were white but brushed with green, the next color of the rainbow and likely, the next stage of his disease.

[Stage 4, Green: Depression & Reflection ~ lily // symbol of sadness]

His body felt heavy at the thought of a new flower blooming in his respiratory system but he could only laugh at himself in response, out of sheer pity. How pathetic was he? Getting so sick over some guy that couldn’t care less about him? Romantically anyways… He was beyond halfway through the stages now and if he couldn’t accept it or have his love returned, he would die. It was true, a part of him did want to die because he thought it wasn’t worth it anymore if he had to continue living this way. Being locked in the bathroom, he knew he was only a few steps away from the medicine cabinet if he was really desperate… or he could wait for the slower, more excruciating route, letting the flowers grow and accumulate in his body until their roots were embedded into his lungs, asphyxiating him to the end of his long, dreadful suffering… but for reasons he couldn’t understand, another part of him held on to a small sliver of hope, which is what kept him going all this time. He couldn’t understand why he was still giving himself false hope and how he was even gullible enough to keep himself convinced. Not only was he pathetic, but he was also an idiot, hoping for a fairytale ending that he knew would never happen.

“Changbin…” Jisung addressed with concern in his voice as he knocked on the bathroom door, “You okay in there?”

“Yeah,” Changbin replied, forcing himself to get his shit together as he flushed the toilet and hurried to the sink to wash up, “Just food poisoning I think. Probably the take out I had last night.” He feigned a smile as he opened the door and came face to face with Jisung, who looked extremely worried despite Changbin’s attempt to assure him he was fine.

“Do you need me to take you to the doctor?” Jisung asked, noticing how pale and drained Changbin looked.

“I told you it’s just food poisoning. Don’t worry about it.”

~

“Some Christmas party, huh?” Chan chuckled as he looked over at Changbin, the two sitting on the balcony of the guest bedroom which Chan had led them to to escape the noise of the party downstairs.

“Yeah, it was pretty crazy down there,” Changbin smiled, staring up at the stars rather than at Chan, “How’d you know about this room?”

“JYP let me sleep here a few times when he had to drive me to important events early in the morning.”

“Ah, I see… that’s convenient”

“Yeah…”

Silence soon fell upon the two boys, however, it wasn’t awkward; it was simply quiet… though, the lack of noise had Changbin worried that maybe Chan could hear his heart pounding against his chest.

Nervously clearing his throat, Changbin pulled a tiny drawstring bag out of his pocket and held it out to Chan, “Merry Christmas, hyung… it’s not much, but I hope you like it.”

“Changbin,” he whined, grudgingly taking the bag from him, “You didn’t have to.”

“I know… but I wanted to. I mean, like I said earlier, it’s not much anyways.”

Opening the little baggy, Chan pulled out a black, braided bracelet, very simple in design and it looked like it was handmade.

“Did you make this?” Chan smiled as he slipped it onto his wrist.

“Mhm…” Changbin replied, holding out his own wrist and pulling up his sleeve, “I made one for myself too. We’re matching.”

“I love it,” Chan chuckled, slyly taking the opportunity to take Changbin’s hand into his own and hold it in his lap.

Changbin shied away in response, trying to hide the blush that crept on his cheeks as a result of Chan’s intimate gesture. Chan couldn’t help but find Changbin’s response cute, a little laugh slipping from him as he adoringly stared at the clearly embarrassed boy next to him.

Butterflies filled Chan’s stomach as he debated whether or not he should make a move, but seeing how vulnerable Changbin looked, all shy and flustered, he just couldn’t help himself. Sliding a hand up to Changbin’s cheek, he turned his head to face him and connected their lips before Changbin could even process what was happening.

Changbin was definitely startled by Chan’s bold move, but he didn’t have to think twice about kissing him back. Wrapping his arms around Chan’s waist, he pulled him closer, deepening the chaste kiss with their lips moving together in perfect harmony. Their pure moment however, was soon cut short when Chan invited his tongue into Changbin’s mouth, immediately eliciting a moan from him as he swirled his slick muscle around in his wet cavern.

Changbin’s stomach tingled thinking about the situation he was in, finally able to somewhat process what was going on; he was really sitting on a balcony, making out with his crush of a few months and possibly… could be doing more with him. It was already hard enough to believe Chan liked him back, but the fact that he made the first move and things were escalating so quickly made it even crazier.

Before he knew it, Chan was on top of him, lips now pressed against his neck, peppering it with soft, wet kisses.

“Chan,” he moaned, fisting the back of Chan’s shirt as he continued to kiss down the full length of his neck.

“So hot when you say my name like that,” Chan mumbled against his skin as he moved back up to nip at Changbin’s ear, his hand slowly sliding down his body until it landed on the stiff bulge in his pants.

“Yah...” Changbin blurted, his cheeks flushing a bright red as he grabbed Chan by the wrist to stop him, “W-what are you doing?”

“Oh shit… I- I’m sorry,” Chan apologized awkwardly, worry apparent in his voice as he sat back up and regained his composure, “I got carried away.”

“N-no, I… liked it…” Changbin mumbled under his breath, “It’s just… don’t you think it’d be better to continue this inside? Y’know, on the bed… maybe…?”

Glancing back at Changbin, Chan smirked, coming to the conclusion that they must’ve had the same thing in mind all along and that Changbin was just being shy. “Yeah, good idea,” Chan smiled, standing up before offering a hand to Changbin, “Don’t know why I didn’t think of it.”

They’d barely just stepped foot back into the bedroom when Chan pushed Changbin onto the bed, his lips crashing down into Changbin’s for a messy kiss. Without pulling away, Chan quickly unbuttoned his shirt and flung it aside before his hands found their way back to Changbin’s body. It didn’t take long for his touch to wander back down to the stiffness in Changbin’s pants, gently palming it to elicit the sweet moans he’d been dying to hear more of earlier.

“Feel good?” Chan smirked, finally breaking away from their heated make out session.

“So good,” Changbin exhaled as his head rolled back against the soft pillow.

“Mind if I go under?”

Chills ran down Changbin’s spine at those words, his strained member twitching at the feeling of Chan’s hands fiddling with his belt buckle.

“Please…” Changbin begged, a bit whinier than he intended, but at that point he didn’t care; he just desperately craved Chan’s touch.

“Well,” Chan chuckled almost devilishly, “Don’t mind if I do.”

Without any hesitation, Changbin’s belt was undone along with his pants and once Chan had enough access, he slid the waistband of his briefs down just enough to free his throbbing hard-on. Changbin could almost see the lust glowing in Chan’s eyes as he wrapped his fingers around him and slowly began to pump him.

The amount of pre-cum Changbin wept was almost embarrassing as it revealed just how desperate and horny he was, but Chan didn’t fail to take advantage of it, circling his thumb over Changbin’s slick head before spreading the substance down the length of his shaft.

“Have you gotten head before?” Chan smirked as his hands reverted back to a slow stroking motion, the newly added lubricant allowing his palm to glide more smoothly along Changbin’s length.

“N-no…” his voice hitched in his throat, his brain struggling to form words as Chan continued to pleasure him, “H-have you?”

“No,” Chan chuckled, “But I’ve been dying to try giving it.”

Changbin instantly knew what Chan was thinking, his cock twitching involuntarily at the thought of being sucked off by his long time crush. Of course, it didn’t go unnoticed by Chan, the smirk plastered on his face somehow radiating a new, more sinful aura compared to before as he shifted himself towards the lower half of the bed.

“I take it that means you want to be my lab rat, huh?”

Changbin was now at a complete loss for words, too overwhelmed to really process anything at that point, though he'd be lying if he denied Chan’s comment. Positioning himself between Changbin’s legs, Chan looked up at him for some kind of confirmation before proceeding, “I’m not gonna do it unless you say yes.”

Gulping nervously, Changbin stared blankly at Chan for a second before finally parting his lips to speak, “I-I… want it.”

“It’d be my pleasure,” Chan smiled, wasting no time before pressing his tongue to Changbin’s base and licking all the way up to the tip. After swirling around his head a few times, Chan finally sealed his lips around Changbin’s girth, taking in as much of his length as his throat would allow.

“Oh my god,” Changbin muttered under his breath, the unfamiliar sensation presenting a new level of pleasure that he could’ve never achieved through his own means; Chan had only just started, but he already felt like his end was near. Changbin’s hands quickly found their way into Chan’s damp curls, trying not to pull too hard as he fought against his orgasnm that threatened to burst at any moment now. “Chan…” Changbin barely managed to say between choppy breaths and throaty moans, “I-I… I’m so c-close…”

Chan hollowed his cheeks as he pulled off, his actions accompanied by a loud ‘pop’ while his hand temporarily took the place of his mouth to stimulate Changbin, “Cum then. Don’t be shy.”

With that, he took Changbin back into his mouth, his tongue pressed up against the underside of his cock as he bobbed his head, urging Changbin to release. Not even a minute passed before he had Changbin trembling beneath him, face scrunched as his climax drew dangerously close.

“Chan I ah-” Chanbin started, but before he could finish, he was interrupted by an explosion of pure bliss radiating through his body, his head thrown back as his essence seeped down the back of Chan’s throat. Chan licked his lips as he swallowed every last drop, a look of satisfaction etched onto his face as he got up and straddled Changbin.

“That was fun… but I hope the night isn’t over yet,” Chan spoke as he undid his own pants, unwrapping and rolling a condom over himself before hooking his fingers into Changbin’s pants to pull them down, “Shall we go further?”

~

Changbin sighed as he stared up at the ceiling, struggling to fight back tears that were induced by the painful memory of Chan that he’d been holding onto for the past few months. That night at the party, he never thought that doing it with Chan… that losing his virginity to him, would end up being just a worthless one night stand; had he known, he definitely wouldn’t have agreed to it. His feelings for Chan were just too strong to be okay with sharing an extremely intimate moment with him knowing it was just for a night; he wanted to spend an eternity with him.

He could feel his lungs tightening again the more he thought about his unrequited feelings for Chan and how he’d been used and simply tossed aside… how even despite that, he still gets butterflies in his stomach when Chan gives him even the tiniest, most meaningless compliments… the fact that he still liked someone who’d been putting him through constant emotional pain for months and he probably didn’t even have the slightest clue...

Shooting up from his bed, he darted to the nearest trash can and fell to his knees as he hurled up yet another bundle of yellow and green flower petals, clutching his sides in pain as he groaned between labored breaths. With his head still hung over the bin, the petals scattered among his mounds of trash starred back up at him, mocking him about his dumb, one-sided love.

“Fuck…” he muttered under his breath, cupping his face in his hands as finally he let out all the tears he’d been holding back the entire day. Why him?

|| Ch 1 || Ch 2 || Ch 3 || Ch 4 || Ch 5 || Ch 6 ||

[merakiaes]

One For Sorrow - Sandor Clegane

Pairing: Sandor Clegane x Stark!reader, Ned Stark x daughter!reader, Catelyn Stark x daughter!reader, Stark!siblings x sister!reader

Requested: Yes

Prompts: None

Warnings/notes: Violence, cursing, death, changes in the timeline.This is reeeeally long so I haven’t been able to check for grammar and/or checking mistakes before posting, but I will once I get time. I also may have changed some details without realizing, so sorry for that if that’s the case! Also, Azar is a new character that will be introduced again in part 3!

Wordcount: 10438

Description: Prequel to ‘It’s Not Always True What They Say’. Takes place before and when meeting Sandor. 

“Tell me again why I have to wear this Gods forsaken dress?” You asked, glaring into the wall as your mother pulled at the strings of your corset. 

“You know why. The king is arriving anytime now and you are the only one who is not dressed and down in the courtyard.” She told you sternly, pulling the strings roughly causing you to curse. “And you will have to watch that mouth of yours during their stay, too. Do you understand me?”

You huffed a piece of your long hair out of your face. “You don’t have to act all strict with me, I can hear you just fine without that bitterness in your tone.”

“I tried being not stern.” Your mother remarked. “Three times. And yet here I am, dressing you like a five year old.”

You only rolled your eyes, letting go of the wooden pole you had been grabbing onto as your mother finished the last piece of clothing. 

You shifted uncomfortably, raising the right side of your upper lip slightly in distaste. “I don’t know how you walk around in these all day. The’re horrid.”

“Less horrid than those over sized breeches, I’d say.” She commented back as she started tugging on your hair from behind. 

You cursed as the comb got stuck in your locks, your direwolf whining from the bed, feeling his master’s pain. 

You gave him a glance, before turning back forward. 

“It’s not my fault you won’t get my clothes my own size.” You scoffed. “I have no other choice but to wear Jon and Robb’s old ones.”

“If you act like a lady during the King’s stay, I will give you clothes. Would you agree to that?”

Your face instantly lit up and you turned around to hug your mother, jumping slightly. “Yes, yes, a thousand times yes!”

“But you have to act like a real lady!” She repeated. “No cursing, no snide comments to any of the royal company, no matter how much they vex you. No pants, and most importantly, NO fighting!”

“I’m not wearing dresses for this whole week.”  You glared, letting go of her immediately. “The rest I can agree to.”

Your mother looked at you for a moment, before giving a curt nod. “Very well, no dresses. But if you misbehave in any other way, you can bid those new clothes farewell. Now come here.”

And with that, Catelyn turned her daughter around and went back to her hair, rushing it into a quick but beautiful northern hairdo, before they had to hurry down to welcome the King and his company. 

Unfortunately, your direwolf pup had to be left in your room, much to your dismay. 

You just about managed to get down and take your spots as the King rode through the gates. 

Your father gave you a look as you took your place between him and Robb. “Giving your mother a hard time as usual, I presume?” He snickered.

Before you could answer, your mother scoffed from his other side. “Would you expect anything else? She’s not my daughter, I’ll tell you that.”

You smiled widely, taking pride in having grown up to, truly, be your father’s daughter. 

Your conversation was short-lived as the king soon stood in front of you, causing you to put on a big smile and straighten your posture. 

“Your Grace.” Your father greeted his friend, bowing his head slightly in respect.”

Robert looked him up and down, face red and puffy from the cold. “You’ve got fat.”

Your father raised an eyebrow at this, looking the king up and down like he had done him only moments before, and you watched with a chuckle as they started laughing, embracing each other. 

“Nine years.” The king started. “Why haven’t I seen you? Where the hell have you been?”

“Guarding the North for you, Your Grace.” Your father responded. “Winterfell is yours.”

“Where’s the Imp?”

“Will you shut up?”

You heard Arya and Sansa bickering from the other end of the line, causing you to snort quite un-ladylike.

This in turn, caught Robert’s attention. He turned to you, the big smile on his face faltering for a moment as he laid eyes on you, only to widen even more than before. 

“My…” He whispered as he came to stand before you, reaching out to touch a strand of your black hair. “You look just like her.” 

You smiled sadly, knowing in an instant that he was talking about your late aunt Lyanna Stark. It was no surprise that you were a spitting image of her. 

“Your Grace.” You bowed slightly, only to be pulled into a hug as you came back up. 

You wrapped your arms around his thick torso in an embrace, smiling into his shoulder. You had always been very close to Robert, closer than the rest of your siblings, seeing him as a second father. 

He held you at an arm’s length. “Look at how much you’ve grown.” He enthused, before looking at you with a teasing grin. “I assume you’re still ignoring your sewing lessons and playing in the mud.”

You laughed, smile reaching all the way to your eyes as you nodded. “Yes, Your Grace.”

Robert smiled one last time at you, before moving on to your twin. “And who have we here?” He asked. “You must be Robb.”

As he went on to your siblings one by one, you let your eyes fall on the Queen who was just now exiting the carriage with her cubs, coming forward to let your mother and father greet and welcome her. 

Not being interested in the slightest of greeting her, you let your eyes wander along the crowd that had traveled with them, spotting soldier after soldier, one of which was the infamous Kingslayer. 

But, true to Arya’s word, the Imp was nowhere to be seen. 

The King and Queen’s oldest was, however, already complaining about the cold to his own personal guard dog. 

Only then did you allow yourself to look at him. The big man was towering over most of their company, dog helmet held under his arm and looking like a giant next to the whiny prince. 

You had heard many horrid stories about the man that was The Hound, many of which told about his horribly scarred face, but as you watched him from your spot, you couldn’t bring yourself to think of him as ugly. 

He was rather handsome, actually. But the scowl he wore on his face completely took away from that. 

He had this look in his eyes that made you wonder how many people he’s killed, but then he had this… scowl that made you realize he’d probably lost count.

As if feeling your stare, Sandor suddenly turned to look at you, half expecting you to look away when he did. But much to his surprise, you kept your eyes on him and offered him a smile and a curt nod. 

“Take me to your crypt.” Robert came back to the front then, talking to your father. “I want to pay my respects.”

You noticed the queen’s face hardening at his words, coming to stand behind her husband. “We’ve been riding for a month, my love. Surely the dead can wait.”

But Robert only ignored her. “Ned.” 

Ned glanced at the queen, before nodding his head and walking off with his friend and king to bid to his wishes, leaving you all to your own business. 

“Well, then.” You spoke, turning to your twin who had now been joined by Theon and Jon. “Now that this horrid experience is finally over, I’m going to my chambers to change into more… fitting, attire.” 

You threw a distasteful look to your dress, before looking back up at the boys. “Sparring in ten?” 

“I need to practice my shooting.” Theon nodded, agreeing to your idea. Robb and Jon mumbled out responses of their own, saying they needed to practice their swordplay. 

Rolling your eyes, you picked up your skirts, throwing a look Theon’s way. “As if you need practice. I do, however.” And with that you were off towards your chambers. 

But it wasn’t all that easy as Sansa and your mother made it out to be. Being used to walking around freely in pants and tunics, the skirts were for the time being your worse enemy, causing you to trip over your feet more times than you would admit. 

But you managed to reach your destination eventually, quickly changing out of the dress to your usual clothing, wasting no time in running back outside to meet with the boys. 

As you arrived, you found them all coaching Bran as he practiced his shooting. Noticing his stance, you called out. “Your legs are to wide apart.” 

The boys all turned to look at you as you reached them, Theon shooting an arrow to his own board right before. 

Bran frowned, letting his bow sink slightly. “I’m never going to learn how to shoot.”

You walked up to him, a comforting smile resting on you pink lips. “Of course you will, Bran.” You then proceeded to slap Jon and Robb’s ‘helping’ hands away from the younger Stark, taking their place beside him. “Here, I’ll help you.”

Bran nodded, raising the bow again and drawing the string back. 

“Good.” You praised. “Now, the first thing you have to think about is to not think at all. If you keep your string held back for too long, your aim will get ruined. The trick is to shoot at once when you’ve gotten the aim in.”

You pushed his bow down again. “Now, try again, and this time release at once.”

Bran frowned, skeptic to what you were saying but following your orders nonetheless. 

Raising the bow, he drew the string back, aimed, and released, watching as the arrow hit the board just outside of the ring that was the second away from the edge.

“See!” You called, ruffling his hair. “I knew you could do it!”

The boys all clapped and Bran’s face lit up in a big smile. He turned to Robb. “I did it!”

“I saw.” Robb chuckled back. 

Theon gave him and Jon a teasing smirk. “She’s a better teacher than both of you combined, I’ve always told you.”

The two brothers waved him away, and the five of you, later also joined by Arya, played around outside until the sun went down and signaled that it was time for the feast. 

You once again found yourself in your chambers, Bone, your direwolf, resting by your feet as you tried your best to braid your own hair at the end of the bed. 

Sansa had joined you for a short while at the wishes of your mother to make sure you got into your dress like promised, before running back to her own chambers to “fancy herself up for the dreamy prince”, as she had so nicely put it. 

Of course, you had done what you did best and called him a bitch, but Sansa was too high up in the clouds to even hear what you had said. 

You shook your head at the thought. You weren’t against love, you didn’t deny its existence like your family believed, but you weren’t overly fond of it either. 

During the time being, you could’t see yourself ever falling in love. The lords you had met were all spoiled and horrible, and the ones who weren’t lords were still horrible. 

To sum it up, most men you had encountered were either horrible to look at, or horrible to talk to. The men you had met and actually liked were either your brothers, your father, or Robert. 

“You are never going to find a suitable husband by being sarcastic and vulgar.”  Your mother had said to you once after meeting with a potential suitor. 

You had only glared, not being fazed in the slightest, and responded: “Alright, no husband then.”

You might have been very controversial, being adventurous but cautious and careful, logical but also a dreamer, fierce and outgoing but sensitive, mysterious but trustworthy, childish but wise, sweet but moody, charismatic but quiet, bubbly but a pessimist and ambitious but lazy. But one of the things you would never be, was a liar. 

Changing yourself to get a stranger to like you, was simply something you would not do. Not today, not in a million years. In other words, never. That’s just not who you were. 

You would never be able to put your hair into fancy styles like Sansa or your mother, but after an hour of cursing and tugging, you decided it would have to do, despite being completely oblivious to how it looked. 

Luckily, it looked alright to the outside world. You figured, anyways, taking it as a good sign that no one had looked at you when you walked down the corridors and to the feast. 

The people were already eating and drinking like there was no tomorrow once you finally arrived, meaning you had taken longer than you had thought to get ready. 

As you walked through the door and Robb spotted you from his seat, he voiced your thoughts, confirming your suspicions. 

“Finally!” He called out over the chatter and music, moving slightly to the side to make room for you between him and some man. “Where have you been?”

You huffed as you sat down, having a hard time keeping your skirts intact. “I had to put this on by myself, fix my hair too.”

Theon laughed from across you. “For taking such a long time, you didn’t do much with it.” He motioned to your hair with his chicken. 

Glaring at him, you reached over and snatched said piece of chicken, taking a bite. “I don’t usually do my hair up like Sansa and mother, though, do I?”

He held his upp in surrender at the heated glare you were giving him. “Fair enough.”

You didn’t say anything more after that, only pitched in once in a while to answer when Robb or Theon or somebody else spoke to you directly. 

Now, in any other situation, you would have been thrilled about all the food. But seeing as you in this moment was, in fact, stuck in a hot, itching dress, the glare never left your face as you ate and drank. 

After a while, Theon left with some girl, and Robb left to take Arya to bed after she had made a shot at Sansa with her food. 

Both you and Robb had laughed at the sight, but with a stern glance from  your mother, Robb had taken off and you had shut up. 

But seeing as your only company had now left you, you were bored out of your mind. 

You grabbed a flagon of wine quickly from a passing server, and stood up from your seat, proceeding to walk outside to find your half-brother who, as per usual, had been cast out by your mother. 

A dick move of her, if you got to say so yourself, but nothing you were bothered to argue with, seeing as she in the end always won. Them Tully’s never were good at listening. 

“It’s always summer, under the sea, I know, I know, oh, oh, oh. The birds have scales, and the fish take wing .” You sang quietly to yourself as you wandered outside, skirts and flagon in hand, seeming to be a little more intoxicated than you had thought. 

“I know, I know, oh, oh, oh. The rain is dry, and the snow falls up, I know, I know, oh, o-”  You  cut yourself off as you stumbled slightly when going down the steps of the castle. 

“Fucking dress.” You cursed, looking down as you tried your hardest to sort out the fabric with one hand to make clear way for your feet to walk, however seemingly failing miserably. 

“Your mother never teach you that women shouldn’t curse?” A voice suddenly came from in front of you, causing you to stop in your tracks which in turn caused you to bump into the chest of said person. 

There, before you as you looked up, stood Sandor Clegane, watching you with a hand on the hilt of his sword. 

You took him in, before remembering his words, going to narrow your eyes at him. “Fuck off.”

The man scoffed. “Are you sober?” He asked, voice clear of any emotion whatsoever. 

“I’m moderately functional.” You sneered quietly, going back to mess with the dress, not daring to take another step until you were sure you wouldn’t fall. 

“I’ll take that as a no.” The much bigger man grumbled in response, going to grab your arm. 

“Hey, mister, what do you think you’re doing?” You protested as he dragged you forward. 

“What’s it look like?” He grumbled again, keeping his hand on your arm so that you wouldn’t move as he bent down to pull your skirt from underneath your feet. 

“There.” He said, coming back up. “Now you can walk without falling on your face.” 

You glared at him. “I would have been fully capable of doing that myself.” 

“Didn’t look like it to me.” He fired back, clearly starting to grow more irritated by the second. 

“Well, you don’t look very well then, do you?”

This time it was his time to stare at you, eyes dark and emotionless. “Do you know who I am?” 

“Of course I know who you are.” You snorted. “There’s not many men in Winterfell with burns all over their face.”

“Aren’t you afraid?”

You raised an unimpressed eyebrow, leaning backwards to take a better look at him, although regretting it as you stumbled. 

You steadied yourself and moved your eyes back to his face. “I’ve had worse nightmares about my mother finding out I’ve been skipping my sewing lessons.”

He showed his teeth from behind his beard as he looked down at you. “You should be scared of me. If you would have known where I’ve come from, you would be.” 

You rolled your eyes and glared at him, something you found yourself doing a lot when under the influence of alcohol. “I don’t doubt for a second you’ve done horrible things, but the only people I’m afraid of are the ones who make me wear these damned dresses against my will.”

Sandor narrowed his eyes, truth be told shocked that you weren’t even flinching under his gaze, and that you would willingly have a conversation with him, despite the fact that the conversation in question was not rather pleasant. 

“Do you regret it?” You leaned forward slightly, staring into his eyes in a way you thought to be intimidate, but in reality was making you look like a fool. 

Sandor looked you up and down, lip slightly raised in distaste at the look on your face. “Regret what?”

“The things you’ve done?” You answered without missing a beat. 

“There’s no sweeter thing than killing.” Sandor responded without batting an eye, and even though you wouldn’t admit it, a chill ran down your spine at his words. 

“So you don’t regret it.” You confirmed, raising an eyebrow in question. 

Once again, the man bared his teeth in annoyance. “The only thing I regret, is having this conversation.” 

You scoffed. “You don’t have to be rude.”

“Don’t like me?” He asked. “Take a seat with the rest of the bitches waiting for me to give a fuck.”

“So dramatic.” You pouted mockingly, before moving to walk past him. “Well then, Ser, I’ll leave you to dramatically brood in your lonesome and go find someone else to converse with. Have a good night.” 

And with that, you started walking away, raising the flagon over your shoulder in farewell. 

Sandor watched as you walked away, but you didn’t get very far, the dress coming to tangle beneath your feet in less than a minute. 

“Dammit!” You yelled out, throwing the flagon on the ground to attempt fixing the mess once more. 

“Oh, for fuck’s sake.” Sandor cursed from behind you, and before you could even think of a response, he had taken you by your arm and heaved you up into his arms. 

“Let me down!” You ordered, wriggling about. 

“If you keep moving around like that I will, and it won’t be pleasant.” He snapped at you, causing you to glare and still in his arms.

“Fine, but at least let me get on your back. I’m not some damsel in distress who needs saving.” You huffed.

“Fucking hell.” The man cursed once more, letting you down on your feet and getting in front of you so that you could jump onto his back instead. 

“You happy now?” He snarled, putting his hands behind your knees so that you wouldn’t fall off. 

“Happier than before.” You muttered, letting your arms circle around his neck, causing him to mutter something under his breath. 

The walk was quick thanks to Sandor’s long strides, and you soon found yourself being let down from his back in front of the door that would take you to your chambers. 

You wasted no time in pushing open the heavy wood, Bone jumping at you almost instantly. 

“Hi!” You gushed, bending down to pick him up into your arms, letting him lick your face as you walked inside. 

“Will you be able to undress yourself without falling or do I have to do that, too?” Sandor’s snarky voice came from the doorway. 

You put Bone down on your bed and walked back over to the door, skirts held up to your knees now that you were inside and wouldn’t freeze to death. 

“If you think you are getting your hands anywhere near my underclothes with that attitude, you are terribly mistaken.” You scoffed, grabbing a hold of the door. “Good night, Ser.” 

And with that you slammed the door shut, leaving Sandor alone to mutter in the corridor. “I’m no Ser.” 

After getting out of your gods forsaken dress and putting more wood into the fire, you had gotten beneath your furs and fallen asleep the second your head hit the soft pillow. 

You slept peacefully, thanks to the wine, but your waking was a little less pleasing, also thanks to the wine. 

Your mother had, true to her word, gotten you the promised clothes as you had fulfilled your end of the deal. Well, apart from the swearing to the Hound, that is. But she didn’t need to know that. 

But although you were happy about finally getting to wear a pair of pants that wouldn’t fall off when you moved, you were less pleased with the way you were awoken. 

The second Catelyn had waltzed into your room to see you lying face down with a pillow over your head, she had only shook her head. 

She had taken no regard what so ever to your headache and nausea from the night before as she pulled off your furs and forced you to get into a bath to ready yourself for breakfast. 

But at least now you could wear clothes of your own choice, thank the Gods. 

To say you were in a foul mood after last night’s amount of wine was a big understatement. As earlier mention, food was something you appreciated greatly, but today, you didn’t even feel like eating breakfast, instead opting to go for a ride in the woods. 

Being used to your morning-after changes of moods, no one in the castle dared to look at you as you walked down the corridors and outside. 

Bone, sensing your mood, or lack there of, took it on himself to show his loyalty to his master by taking on the same mood, growling to anyone who looked at you. 

Someone who didn’t seem to have gotten the hint by your terrifying stare or Bone’s low growls, however, was the very Hound who had made sure you got back to your chambers safely the night before. 

The man looked up as he noticed you entering, only sparing the not so little pup at your side a glance. 

“Who ate your bowl of sunshine this morning?” His voice came as you walked inside the stables. 

You didn’t answer, and for a second Sandor thought you might have been too drunk to remember your little encounter. But when seeing the familiar glare on your face, he knew you did. 

“What?” He grumbled as he saddled a horse. “No snarky remarks?” 

“Piss off.” You snapped finally, grabbing a saddle from the wall and going over to open the gate to one of the horses.

Sandor snorted, taking great pleasure in seeing you suffer after how you had irritated him the night before. 

“Don’t you have a breakfast to go to?” He voiced as he watched you get your horse ready, only getting a grumble in return. 

As you finished saddling your horse, you wasted no time in sitting up and steering the stallion out of the stables, speaking no more words to the prince’s guard dog, wanting to get out of there as quickly as you could knowing that the prince in question would have probably arrived any second. 

And while you weren’t really in the mood to deal with breakfast, or Sandor Clegane, you were not in the mood to deal with Joffrey Baratheon. Emphasis on the “not”. 

You’d never spoken to the prince before and you intended to keep it that way, while you hadn’t directly talked to him having heard him whine from a distance more times than you would have wished since his arrival the previous day. 

“Come on, boy.” You mumbled to Bone as you got the horse into a slow trott, letting him speed up into a galopp on his own, Bone running ahead. 

As you rode through the gates, the guards gave you a short hello, being used to you running away from gatherings like this to explore the woods. 

You’d think you would have covered the whole woods by now, but the woods that surrounded your home seemed to be endless. 

Not that you were complaining, riding alone through the thick trees being your absolute favourite activity on tired and pissed off days like these; it was your place to escape. 

As you trotted through the forest, you closed your eyes for a moment and breathed in the chilly air, just soaking in the moment. 

Bone was walking in front of you, sniffing on the ground and looking around. He was relaxed, in his natural habitat, but still ready to attack should you feel threatened. 

Almost a month had passed since you had found the direwolves on the way back to the castle, and Bone had already gotten so big. But despite him being the biggest out of the seven, you still called him a pup and took him into your arms every time you had the chance. 

But he didn’t complain, not that he could, anyways. You would never see him get as excited as when you’d gush him and give him that kind of attention. 

He was your baby. You had never realized that something was missing in your life until you got him. Now you couldn’t imagine a life without him. And if anyone even thought about hurting him, you’d kill them before he got the chance to do that himself. 

Two hours passed, and you had stopped in several places to check things out, whether it was animals, plants or simply admiring the landscape. 

But this time, you had stopped for something far more exciting than anything else so far. 

As you had been trotting around, Bone had stopped to smell something like he always did, but this time he hadn’t let it go. 

Getting down from your horse, you had found him pushing on a broken egg, a dead nestling hanging out of the shell. 

Your heart had broken at the sight, and you’d instantly started looking around for the nest, figuring it couldn’t be too far away as the egg looked to have fallen. 

After minutes of looking, you had finally found the tree with the bird’s nest. Luckily, it was a tree on which the twigs and branches started close to the ground, giving you easy access to safe footing. 

Less fortunate, the branches got sparser and more scattered after a while, leaving you less and less to climb on the further up you got. 

This left you not so far up at all, stretching your body as far as you could without falling, grabbing into the air to be able to reach the nest. 

But to no avail. 

You groaned in frustration as you gave it another go, reaching out with a strained sound leaving your lips, tip of your tongue peeking out. 

“The fuck are you doing up there?” You suddenly heard from beneath you, causing you to slip on the branch and come falling down. 

“AH!” You grabbed at the air desperately as you fell, trying to grab on to anything that could save you from a painful landing. 

But the feared landing never came. Well, not for you, that is. 

A grunt came from underneath you as you landed on the person who had dared sneak up on you, both of you falling to the ground with a thud. 

“What the fuck are you on?” The voice shouted as you stumbled to get up, them doing the same. 

Only then did your brain register the voice, and you quickly realized the victim of your rather rough landing was the one and only Sandor Clegane. 

“What are you doing here?” You huffed out as you managed to scramble to your feet, brushing off your pants. 

“What am I doing here? I’m heading back from a hunting trip to the castle with your father’s deer and I find you climbing a tree like you’re some kind of bird. What are you doing?” 

You crossed your arms, noticing Bone moving behind the man in front of you. You sent the direwolf a glare, pissed that he hadn’t made any sound to warn you. 

“That’s none of your business.” Turning back to look at Sandor, you keeping the glare on your face as you looked at him for a moment before going back to the tree for a second attempt. 

“You’re going up there again? Are you clinically insane or just incredibly annoying?” He called as you stepped onto the first branch, pulling yourself up. 

“Take your pick.” You snapped back, going to grab the next branch, however finding that it broke during your fall. 

“Damn it.” You cursed under your breath, before looking at Sandor. “Come here.”

“What are you on about now?” He asked, irritated. 

“Let me stand on your shoulders.” You responded. You pointed to the ground closer to you. “Now.” 

“Fuck that. You can do whatever you’re doing yourself.” He snarled, moving to go back to his horse. 

You scoffed. “Fine.” You shifted your eyes back to the tree, looking for a good branch to climb. You reached up when finding one who looked thick enough, only to find that it was too dry, it snapping off as soon as you put weight on it.  

Sandor watched you with an unimpressed expression, and you could hear him grumble from where his horse stood, before your foot was suddenly grabbed and put on his shoulder. 

You glanced down at him, coming face to face with an annoyed glare. “Get on with it.” He snapped, and you did as told, pushing yourself up on his shoulders all while holding on to the tree for support. 

Sandor’s hands went to your feet to hold you in place, only letting them go when you pushed yourself onto a branch. 

This time you had managed to come further up than you had without Sandor’s shoulders, allowing you access to the higher branches, which in turn let you climb all the way to the bird’s nest. 

“Yes.” You cheered to yourself as you sat down on a branch beside the nest. 

In it laid one single egg, white with black specks all over it. It was bigger than the one on the ground, about as big as your hands put together if they were clenched. 

You furrowed your eyebrows. You had never seen an egg like this before, the one on the ground being slightly different. 

Picking it up, it was cold and heavy in your hands, but as you held it you could feel warmth coming from inside. 

You knew you weren’t supposed to take the eggs from their nests, but it didn’t look to have been built on for a long time, giving you the suspicion that this was one of the species where the mothers left their chicks in the nests to fend for themselves. 

“What the fuck are you doing up there?” You heard from below you suddenly, causing you to jump slightly in your seat, but thankfully not enough to drop the egg. 

“I’m coming down now.” You called out, carefully putting the egg in your hip bag, hanging it on a branch and moving it along as you climbed down. 

You reached the bottom in no time, the bag now hanging from your shoulder as you bent down to let Sandor lift you down. 

“It takes a very special kind of idiot to pull off what you just did.” Sandor commented gruffly. 

You panted as you were placed on the ground again, swaying slightly. After steadying yourself, you grabbed the strap of the bag and put it around your shoulder properly so that it wouldn’t fall off. 

Sandor watched you from the tree as you went to your horse without a word, Bone at your heels. 

“What did you find that was so important you fell down a tree for it?” Sandor grumbled as he followed your lead, getting back onto his horse with the deer hung across the back. 

“I found a dead chick, so I wanted to look in the nest.” You answered, lifting the top of your back to expose the egg. 

He looked at you, aggravated. “I let you fall on me for an egg? A fucking egg?” 

You glowered at him. “It was no one’s fault but your own that I fell on you. If your head tells you it’s a good idea to sneak up on someone in a tree, you’re not very smart.”

He scoffed. “Blame that beast of yours, he’s not doing a very good job keeping you out of danger’s way.”

You rolled your eyes, looking at Bone who was walking calmly between you. “He likes you for some reason. Is it a dog thing?” You asked, earning yourself a glare.

“Shut your mouth.”

“That’s no way to talk to a lady. Don’t your spoiled prince discipline you before going somewhere?”

“Somehow you don’t even have to open your mouth to make my head hurt.” 

“I usually have that effect on people.” You let yourself smile for the first time that day, mocking him. 

Sandor noticed, scowling at you. “What are you smiling about?” 

“I think the better question would be why you give off the impression that you want to murder everyone you look at.”

“Killing is the swe-”

“Sweetest thing there is, yes, I remember.”

He sneered, going back to look at the ground in front of him. 

The rest of the ride back home was quiet, just the two of you being annoyed with each other’s presence, so why you would willingly walk alongside each other, you didn’t know. 

But you guessed it was because you were, even though you wouldn’t admit it in your moody state, fascinated by him. 

You had always loved things that the rest of the world forgot. Snails and slugs and broken flowers; birds high up in the trees. 

That was the reason you had gotten along with Tyrion so well during the feast te night before, and you figured it was also why you felt so drawn in by the Hound; they were both broken things that the world had left behind.

However, they weren’t much like each other in the slightest. 

While Tyrion preferred to use his wits as a defense mechanism, the Hound was known for fighting and killing anyone who dared to look at him in the wrong way. 

And while you didn’t doubt that he had many lives on his back, you didn’t believe the stories of some of the things he had supposedly done. 

In your world, everyone has a story. A background. And if you looked deeply and closely enough, you could find meaning to anything.

And while you were in a foul mood this day, you felt attracted to the Hound, you realized, as you watched the side of his face. 

He was a handsome man, one of the most beautiful people you had ever seen, you’d say, despite also being the most complicated one. But you didn’t mind. The second you managed to calm your headache and the temper with it, you would make sure to get to know the strange man. 

He was a tangled mess of silky string just waiting for you to sit down cross-legged and untie the knots.

You crinkled your nose as the thought ran through your head, disgusted that you would actually think something so soppy. You were starting to sound like Sansa, and it was making you nauseous. 

No. That’s the wine from the night before. 

Sandor looked at you as he noticed you stopping your horse in the corner of his eye, watching as you fell down from you horse and vomited in a ditch, a disgusted look coming to rest on his face. 

“For fuck’s sake.” 

“It’s a Sweetling fowl.” Maester Luwin spoke as he inspected the egg. 

You had returned a little while ago, after emptying your stomach’s content in the snow and yelling at Sandor for bitching about it. 

No matter how many times you told him to go back to the castle, he wouldn’t, instead staying to complain about you slowing him down. 

Some piece of work, that man was. The thoughts you had been having about him only moments before throwing up, were gone in an instant as soon as he opened his dirty mouth. 

Leaving you annoyed with him. Again. 

Your mother had been waiting for you by the gates as you returned, and had of course, not let you hear the end of the fact that you had been associating yourself with the Hound. 

You had only walked past her, hurrying to the kitchens to grab an apple before running off to the Maester. 

Which left you where you were now, sitting in a chair opposite of him as he inspected the egg you had found under a candle. 

“A what?” You asked, eyebrows furrowed. You had read every book in the Winterfell library, and you had never heard about such a bird. 

“A Sweetling fowl.” Maester Luwin repeated, turning the egg around in his hands as he inspected it closely. “And the embryo seems to be intact.” 

“I’ve never heard of it before.” You confessed, coming to sit beside him to inspect the egg with him. A small shape could be seen on the inside as he held it up in front of the candle.

“It’s been extinct for hundreds of years, and even when they were alive, they would never be found in Westeros.” He spoke, not taking his eyes of the black and white shell. “Where did you say you found it?”

“In the woods east of the Godswood.” You told him, repeating what you had told him when coming to find him. 

“Strange.” He wondered out loud, looking at it for a second longer before handing it back to you and standing up, fetching a book from a shelf. 

“They’ve always been quite rare, especially in Westeros. They used to live in Essos, but they’ve been thought to be extinct for centuries.” He put the book down on the table, opening it up and bringing up a page that showed a drawing of one of the most majestic creatures you had ever seen. 

“You see its tongue and claws?” Maester Luwin pointed into the book. You nodded. “It uses its claws to open wounds in his enemies, and use its bristly tongue to insert Sweetling Blight into the wounds. The deadliest poison known to man.”

You took in the information all while you let your eyes run over the drawing to register the bird’s appearance. Its beak was long, and the tongue peaking out was just as long, if not longer, and you could see clearly the rough flaps of razor-like skin on it, liquid dripping from them. 

Next to it was a horse to give you an idea of its size, looking to be about as big as the horse, only a little bigger. It’s wings were big and folded onto its back, clad with thick, long feathers, and on it’s head sat two long horns on each side. 

“They’re usually a dark brown, bronze or yellow, and is known for their use in battle. But the last time anyone saw one in real life, much less in battle, was a long, long time ago.” Luwin spoke, letting his hand turn over the pages slowly so that you got a chance to skim through the information. 

“It’s beautiful.” You said as you let your fingers trace the drawing. 

“Truly majestic creatures. Their eyes is the most mesmerizing part, looking like a night sky. But they’re blind from birth, they depend on their hearing and horns. The horns work as a sort of a motion sensitive vision, letting them know what happens around them and allowing them to get around.” 

Maester Luwin turned to look at the egg again, shutting the book once sure you had gotten the chance to read everything. “It descends from the warmer parts of the world. It’s very unsure if it’s going to survive this weather.” 

“So the mother is probably dead.” You thought out loud, getting a nod in return.

“Yes, most likely. The weather of the North is harsh to a creature like the Sweetling. But there’s nothing wrong with trying, if you manage to get it to survive the cold, this could be the beginning of their rebirth.”

You nodded, looking at the egg in your hand with fascination overtaking your every feature. “How do I get it to hatch?”

“Like any other egg. Keep it warm, if it survives the development process, it will hatch.”

“Thank you, Maester Luwin.” You thanked the old man, standing up to kiss him goodbye, before walking out the room. 

The following days you had done exactly what Maester Luwin had told you, keeping the egg by the fire when you and Bone warmed up after being outside for a whole day, and wrapped in a blanket every time you weren’t able to take it with you. 

Arya had been just as fascinated as you were, but as she had been close to breaking the egg several times, you had started locking your door when you left. 

A lot happened after your adventure in the woods. 

Bran was pushed out of a tower, and had been in a deep sleep ever since. You had had your first personal encounter with Joffrey, and had been tormented by him on a daily basis ever since, something that was making you have a hard time controlling yourself, but your brothers to have a good laugh every time they were reminded. 

To sum it up, it was getting on your nerves. 

But luckily, as everything was going wrong and you were on the edge of exploding, the egg hatched, preventing this from happening. 

You couldn’t say that the chick was cute, because it wasn’t. It’s skin was naked and wrinkly, and its eyes were, despite being stunning, bigger than its head. But you knew that once it grew feathers and horns, it would look even more majestic than the one in the book. 

But of course, with your luck, the happiness was short-lived, your father soon telling you he would be taking the position of Robert’s new hand, and you would be going with them. 

You, Theon, Robb and Jon had burst into your parents’ chambers that evening, catching them stark naked in bed. 

But none of you were able to care about their lack of clothing or the probable activities they had been partaking in the moment before you stormed in, too busy yelling their ears off in a desperate attempt to get you to stay. 

But Robert had insisted. 

Forcing you to leave the home you loved more than anything behind alongside your father and sisters. 

Sansa was, seeing as she was completely head over heels with Joffrey, getting on your nerves just like everyone else. 

The only people not stomping all over your nerves as you rode down the Kingsroad, were your animals, and Arya and Sandor Clegane, seeing as you were still angry with Robert and your father for forcing you along. 

You had named your sweetling Azor, after the legendary hero Azor Ahai, who in the faith of R’hllor, the Lord of Light, thousand of years ago forged the sword Lightbringer to defeat the darkness of the Great Other.  ​

You hadn’t come up with the name yourself, of course, Arya being slightly more obsessed about warrior heroes than you. But it was a nice name, and it fit good to the dark bronze feathers he grew to get, reminding you of fire. 

You were currently sitting with your back against a tree with Arya, Bone and Nymeria curled at your feet and Azor perched on your shoulder, eating small pieces of chicken you were feeding him. 

Arya had moments before been crying as the Hound had killed her friend for offending the prince, and you had comforted her until she no longer cried. 

But of course, she was still heartbroken. The boy having been her first friend other than yourself. 

She sniffled as she chewed at her bread, patting Nymeria’s head and watching Sansa and Joffrey from afar. “I can’t believe she didn’t defend him.”

You grabbed Arya’s hand carefully in a comforting manner. “There was nothing she could’ve done, none of us could.” 

Arya turned to look at her. “But you stood up for me, at least you took my side. She just stood there.” 

You frowned. “Sansa is… in a phase, right now. You can’t take her actions, or lack there of, to heart.” 

Arya glared at her red headed sister from afar. “I never want to get married.”

“Then don’t.” You said. “I sure won’t.” 

“Father says I’m to marry a high lord. I want to be as strong as you, maybe he’d listen to me if I was. Or if I was a man.”

“You’re stronger than I ever will be.” You told her as Azar climbed down your arm to pick at the grass once there was no more chicken left to eat. 

“You’re young.” You continued. “You still have time to decide who you want to be. You can be that girl who wakes up with purpose and intent, who shows up and never gives up, who believes anything is possible and is willing to work for it. Those are the things you have to do to become greater than any man, and you certainly don’t need the help from one of those men in question to be able to do it. Because you’re Arya Stark, and you can do anything.”

Arya turned to look up at you, eyes sad. “Do you really think so?”

You smiled at her, squeezing her hand. “I know you can.” 

As the two of you turned your heads to look forward again, you spotted Sandor coming your way. You turned to Arya, seeing her put on a glare as she stood up. 

“I’ll see you by the horses.” She told you, giving you no time to respond before walking away with angry steps. 

As Sandor came closer, you stood up as well, brushing the dirt from your pants and straightening your doublet.

As Azar climbed back up your body to sit on your shoulder, Sandor reached you. 

“Your father sent me to take you to bathe.” He grumbled out, seeming to be even more cranky than usual. 

You raised an eyebrow at this. “Why did he send you?”

“Fuck do I know.” He snapped. “But he did, and we’re leaving soon. So you better hurry up.”

You rolled your eyes, saying nothing as you started to walk towards the woods where you knew the pond was. 

Bone went ahead of you like he always did when you went somewhere, taking the lead. As you walked, you glanced at Sandor, finding him sporting a frown instead of his usual scowl. 

“Are you alright?” You couldn’t help but ask as you turned your face back forward, despite the fact that you were beyond pissed at him for running down the boy and killing him, and despite the fact you knew he would probably do everything in his power to avoid the question. 

“I’m fine.” He muttered, voice gruff. 

“You don’t look fine.” You commented as you took another glance at him. 

This time, his scowl returned, eyes hardening. “Then stop looking.” 

You kept quiet for a moment, pondering whether you should keep pressing it or not, this being the first time ever he had slipped out any other kind of feeling than pure anger. 

You came to the conclusion that should you keep pressing, he would most likely turn back to his usual gruff self, but if you let it go, he might become more comfortable with you and finally open up in his own time. 

Being the impatient girl you were, you, of course, did not go for the latter.

Smacking your lips, you spoke up again. “Do you want to talk about it?” 

“Do you never know how to take a hint to shut the fuck up?” He turned to you suddenly, causing you to stop in your tracks. 

“I do. I just usually choose to ignore them.” 

“You better stop ignoring them before I rip out your tongue.” 

“I don’t talk that much.” You scoffed. 

“No.” He agreed. “But the times you do, you always find a way to dig into my head. You’re always in my fucking head.” He roared, knocking on his head for extra effect. 

You stared at him, eyes wide, not at all having expected the word spilling out of his mouth. You knew he probably meant it as an insult, but you couldn’t help but feel a tingly feeling shoot through your entire body as he spoke those words, staring you down. 

You were both quiet for a minute, before Bone came back panting, shaking his now wet fur all over the two of you and causing you to snap out of your trance, reminding you that you still needed to get cleaned up. 

“Get on with it.” Sandor told you bitterly, although much more quiet than usual, as you reached the water. 

You wasted no time in pulling off your clothes as he went around a few trees to give you your privacy, getting into the water as soon as you had dropped your last piece of clothing to the forest floor. 

It was cold, but not even close to how close it would have been had it been the North. You hated being in the water and hence had no problem with being quick, rushing to wash your body and your hair before getting out and drying off with the cloth your father had sent with Sandor, getting into your clothes as soon as you were dry. 

You didn’t say anything else to Sandor as you walked past him to let him know you were done, figuring he needed time to think alone seeing how abnormally much you had seemed to vex him this time. 

You got back to the party quickly, got on your horses and continued the road to the Capital. 

The second you arrived, chaos started breaking out as your father and yourself were dragged into the Game. You discovered some information and dug up secrets that turned out to be very threatening to the crown. 

During the time your discoveries were still secret, you managed to spend more time with Sandor, the man having a very fun time seeing you walk around being cranky about the dresses you had to wear all day. 

It was horrid, and you missed home more and more for every passing day. Luckily you had Azor and Bone to keep you company when Sandor and Arya weren’t around. 

Arya was mostly off practicing her water dance, and Sandor was off following Joffrey around. 

When he wasn’t though, you were always finding ways to keep the two of you busy. 

“Do you trust me?” You asked Sandor with a wide smile, looking down at him. 

“No.” He grumbled at you, waiting to see what you would do this time. 

“Smart man.” You sent him a teasing smirk, before speaking again.“Catch!” And with that, you flung yourself from the branch you were perched on and let yourself fall, skirts fluttering in the air. 

“Fucking bitch, why do you have to pull stunts like that all the time?” He yelled as he barely caught you, knees bending slightly at the force but not enough to fall. 

You only laughed. “I have to keep you on your toes, somehow, don’t I? What fun would it be if I didn’t?” You asked as you hurried to scramble out of his arms, running off, only looking back briefly to yell out, “Are you coming or are you going to stand there and brood all day?” before turning forward again. 

Sandor shook his head, with a glare but started walking after you nonetheless, armor shining in the sun. 

It had gone slow, especially with the Game being in full play, but eventually the two of you developed feelings. Or well, the feelings had probably been there ever since you first met, but it took a long time for any of you to act upon them. 

It started slowly, with small, lingering touches as you passed each other in the hallways or after dinner, and soon developed into stealing small kisses whenever you were left alone in the same room. 

The first kiss had been interesting, to say the least. You, being the way you were, had just gone up to him and kissed him one day like it was nothing. 

And him, being the way he was, had pushed you away and cursed at you, wiping his mouth as he yelled. 

But as you had kissed him again to shut him up, despite not yet kissing you back, he hadn’t pushed you away. And a few days after that, he had started easing into it, slowly but surely starting to respond to your movements as you pressed your lips to his. 

Then he started distancing himself from you, leaving you bitter and impatient as he avoided you to every cost. 

When you had finally been able to catch him alone and dragged into your empty chambers, you had had your first fight. 

“I don’t see the problem! I thought you wanted me as I wanted you!” 

“That is the problem!” He yelled. “You want me. I’m sworn to serve the Lannisters until the day I die. I’m the Hound, a killer, I’m no man for you to be with! You should be married to some lord by now!”

“It’s not like I can just shut of my feelings, Sandor! I don’t want a high lord, I want you!” 

“See, there’s the problem again! Why do you keep saying that sappy shit? You just had to be your stupid little self and fall in love with a killer, didn’t you?!”

“I am not sappy! I never thought I’d be in love, I never thought I’d have the same thoughts about somebody like Sansa did about Joffrey, but I was wrong!” You began, not letting him get another word in as you ranted. 

“And I didn’t fall in  love with you, I walked in love with you, with my eyes wide open, choosing to take every step along the way. I don’t believe in fate and destiny, but I believe we are fated to do the things that we choose. And I’d choose you; in a hundred lifetimes, in a hundred worlds, in any version of reality, I’d find you and I’d choose you!”

The second you were done, Sandor had for the first time taken the first step to kiss you, capturing your lips heatedly and roughly. The kiss let you both get out every single feeling your were feeling in that moment. 

That was the first time the two of you slept together. 

And although you might think it was as rough as the front Sandor put on, it wasn’t even close to it. Every single minute of the time you spent together that night was filled with one thing and one thing only; complete and utter infatuation. 

After that, Sandor started being more outgoing about his feelings towards you, one of those moments being when a man had approached you during a feast, trying his best to talk you up and cup a feel. 

Sandor, having had enough when the man finally managed to get a feel of your bottom through your dress, had marched up to him and yanked his hand so hard you were surprised it didn’t pop out of its socket. 

“Put your hand on her one more time and I will rip it off and beat you to death with it.”

He had said to him, sending the man away with fear shaking his body. Sandor wanted to stay with you, so bad, but as he was still on duty, he returned to his post at once to avoid anyone seeing the exchange. 

Luckily for the two of you, none of the Lannister had witnessed the scene, but your father had. 

And ever since, he had been less cautious around the Hound. He hadn’t seen a smile on your face since before you left Winterfell, and it pained him deeply that he was part of the reason why. This led him to give Sandor reasons to leave as often as he could so that he could go be with you. 

You knew your father like the back of your own hand, as he did you. You didn’t need to speak of it for you to know what he was doing, and for him to know that you knew. 

Just like the situation with Jon being an actual Targaryen. 

Your father would always glance at you in a certain way when planning to send Sandor out on his own, and every time you waited outside the throne room, catching Sandor’s arm and dragging him away as soon as he was out of view of the people inside. 

Sansa witnessed you running off with Sandor on multiple occasions, and although she had to admit she was quite skeptic at first, she soon seemed to realize the same thing that your father had: you loved each other. 

Arya knew this, of course, the little girl being the only one you had told willingly, knowing you could trust her. She didn’t like it one bit, having hated the man ever since he had killed her friend. But she accepted it, because she had never seen you this happy. 

But the Game evolved. 

The crown found out of your father’s discovery and locked him up for treason. 

Eventually, they found out that you had been apart of it, and was about to send you to join him, when Joffrey changed his mind and wanted to have you married to his Hound instead, seeing it a more torturous punishment. 

But it was the only good thing that came out of it, as you now got to spend every night with the man you had grown to love. 

In the same span of time as your father was locked up, and you were married to Sandor, Joffrey and Cersei sent out goldcloaks to search for Arya, who had luckily managed to get away with Nymeria and Azar, both the wolf and the bird having grown quite lot by this point. 

You had begged Sandor to come with you and Arya once you started your plan to escape, but he refused, saying this was the reason why you shouldn’t have fallen in love with him. 

The night you were planning your escape, you found out you were with babe. And that only made it harder to leave him behind. 

But even though it pained you greatly, you did what you saw was best in that moment and wrote Sandor a note, leaving it on the bed, before changing into your beloved pants and tunic, and sneaking out of the Red Keep.

You tracked down Arya in Flea Bottom, finding her in the far back of the crowd as your father was about to be executed. 

You had looked at him as he was lead up to the stage, and as if feeling your gaze, he had turned to you. 

“Winter is coming.” He spoke as he looked into your eyes, giving you a nod as he was bent down by the guards. You heard him loud and clear even though the crowd’s yells should have prevented you from hearing anything at all. 

You couldn’t look on any longer, and advised Arya from doing so as well. Yoren showed up only seconds later, and you sent Arya and the animals with him as you noticed the goldcloaks coming for you through the crowd. 

You had just barely managed to get away with your life intact, thanks to Bone. 

Managing to steal a horse on your way out, you had hit his sides with your feet once in the saddle, sending him off, away from the castle. 

As you rode down the road and into the woods to shake off the guards, you spotted one lonely crow sitting on top of a rock, looking straight at you, leaving you to think about an old poem Old Nan had told you all your life, as you left your sister and love behind. 

One for sorrow

Two for mirth

Three for a wedding

And four for a birth

Five for silver

Six for gold

And seven for a secret never to be told.

(SEND ME A DM IF YOU WANT TO BE TAGGED WHEN I POST IMAGINES)

[padfootagain]

Stranded (III)

Part 3 : Dreams And Realities

You have asked for a part three… you have been heard. Here's part three, my lovelies! And as it's May the fourth today, I had to post something SW related to celebrate. May the Force be with you all.

I'm taking liberties concerning canon architectures but… I don't care at all.

I hope you all like it :)

Fluffy fluff and angsty angst haaaaa!! Did I make myself cry with this? YEP!

Gif not mine

Word Count : 4778

You were there again. In his dream. You, your eyes shining in the dim light, the clouds left by your breath drawing surreal patterns in the cold air, the way you looked at him… Tears in your eyes and yet he could read in this gaze the truth in the words you had just spoken. He could see you meant it. You did love him…

It was just the same moment playing over again and again. You were there, before him, in that cave. Just a few seconds later, and you would be kissing his lips and…

He washed the thought away with clear, cold water, before looking back at his reflection in the mirror.

He heaved a sigh, leaning against the sink in his personal room. He hadn't put on a shirt yet, instead, he was trying to shake the dreams off his eyes. For now, it wasn't much of a success.

His room was like any other Jedi room. A few personal belongings, a simple mattress, a desk and chair, a little more room to meditate, and a window that for him faced plain East. And as dawn burnt through the sky of Coruscant, the sun shed its first rays right into his chamber. At this hour, the light fell on a part of his bed. He could have asked for curtains to avoid being bothered by the sun every morning, but he actually enjoyed being woken up with the nearest star. It was a warm way to emerge from the dark slumber of dreams.

He looked down at the bandage that still encircled his abdomen, the light of the morning giving it a golden shade. He passed his palm against the sensitive wound, and felt a little sting cross his body. For some reason, he almost wanted to press his hand harder against the cut, he didn't know why. But he didn't. Instead, he let his hand fall in the water gathered in the sink while his eyes travelled to the waking planet before him. Some light remained alit in the highest towers, he could see them glimmer a little more than the rest of the orange sky. Speeders, Jedi shuttlebuses and other civilian transportations were already flying through the sleeping city. Others seemed to be early birds like Obi-Wan, after all.

But of all this beautiful scenery he had made a habit of admiring in the morning, he now couldn't see a single thing. Even the sky that was so particularly colourful that morning, Obi-Wan could barely notice any of its beauty. His mind was too unsettled.

What was he supposed to do?

You and he had come back from Hoth a few days before. He had spent a couple of days in bed, recovering from his wound, and had been allowed to walk around the temple on his own again only the day before. You had been more than busy with your duties as a Senator for your homeworld. But now that he was able to move around again, was he supposed to go and see you? Or should he give you time and space?

You had not talked again of that kiss… and the couple more that had followed. You were both too exhausted during the trip back to Coruscant to do anything but hold hand and sleep. And then, once you had landed, you were both taken into two different medical centres: you were taken to the Republic centre, and he was taken directly to the Jedi temple. And you had been apart ever since.

He heaved a tired sigh, and put more cold water on his face, washing away exhaustion and worry. Or at least… trying to do so.

The Jedi code was clear. The Jedi Order was his life. How could he even think about doing this? How could he even see you that way?

And yet he did. It wasn't the first time his feelings made him doubt himself and his place in the Order, but this time, it was different. He was not as young as he was the last time such doubts had shaken his reality. And yet, there he was…

He pushed the thought away. He had to face one problem at a time.

First, he needed to decide if he would go and see you. He reckoned that it was what he ought to do. The matter had to be discussed. It required a conversation and more importantly, a decision on what to do next. He couldn't simply act like nothing had happened. The two of you had basically confessed your true feelings for each other. He couldn't just run away from this.

For once though, he wished he could have simply run away. It would have been much simpler, to act like nothing had happened. If he took the decision by himself to stop it all, to forget about the whole ordeal, perhaps it could be enough. Oh, how less painful it would be…

But he wasn't that man. He couldn't abandon you. He loved you too much for that.

If indeed, you and he decided to stop seeing each other, if you both decided that it was better to act like nothing had happened, then it had to be a decision taken by both of you.

What other end was there to consider, besides bidding you farewell? He didn't even know.

He felt guilty for his next thought, but he couldn't help but wish… for another way to exist.

 --------------------------------------------------------------

 Obi-Wan had not left the Temple yet. He almost went in the upper levels of the Temple to find some tranquillity and meditate, but he didn’t. Instead, he took a walk through the gardens.

It was a peaceful place, but it was also much more buzzing with life than the meditation rooms. The sun was warm on his face, sun drops caught on the hair of his beard. Some younglings and padawan were training or chatting in different corners of the area covered with grass. Several knights seemed lost in a passionate debate on one of the benches. But all in all, there wasn’t so many people around at that time in the morning. After all, dawn was barely gone.

Obi-Wan walked through the dusty paths leading him towards the large fountain in the centre of the large gardens. Sun mingling with the droplets falling from the fountain drew tiny reflects full of colours, much like little rainbows.

Around the path, he passed before the green grass and the blooming bushes. Strange-looking flowers drenched in colours exploded in their blossom, and under any other circumstances, he would have enjoyed the sight before him. But his mind was too much troubled for that.

He walked for a moment in circles around the garden, but soon felt a tension through his wound, so he went to sit on the edge of the fountain instead. The water made the air a little cooler in that area, and he welcomed the breeze with a soothing sigh.

He had to go and see you, but how could he? It could be the end of it all, and actually, it ought to be. He would have enjoyed lingering for a little longer in a dream though.

He didn't hear his former Padawan approaching behind him. He didn't sense his presence either. It wasn't in his habit to be so distracted, and before he could even see his face clearly and the worries that made him frown, Anakin knew something was bothering his master. And he was far from stupid enough to be unaware of the cause for his friend's worry.

He sat by Obi-Wan's side on the edge of the fountain. The Jedi Master faked to not be surprised, but he wasn't very good at hiding his reaction.

"How are you feeling?" Anakin asked his friend, nodding towards his torso.

"Much better. Thank you. Still sore, but I'll soon be able to fight again."

"It's good to hear."

"Well, I don't really have a choice. Who else could keep you from getting killed or destroying the Temple?"

They exchanged an amused laugh, but Anakin here again was not fooled. He knew Obi-Wan better than he knew himself. There was something off in his laughter, something forced.

"Senator Y/L/N is safely at the Senate delivering her speech," Anakin spoke in a casual tone.

"She is right where she belongs."

Anakin studied his friend's behaviour for a moment. Obi-Wan was trying to remain stern and cold, but his former Padawan had learned to see through the knight's mask a long time ago.

"I wonder though… what happened in that cave exactly?"

"I already told you and the whole council what happened," Obi-Wan faked ignorance.

"Well… the official version, yes. What about the whole truth?"

"I didn't lie to you nor to the council, Anakin," Obi-Wan replied with a proud glint in his eyes, his stature taller all of a sudden.

"That's not what I meant," Anakin soothed his mind. "But you and the Senator were quite… close when Snips and I found you."

"It was unbelievably cold, in case you didn't notice," Obi-Wan defended himself, but the tip of his ears turned crimson.

"So… you were merely applying the basics of survival…"

"Indeed."

"And I guess this was also why you and the Senator were holding hands in the ship when we left."

Obi-Wan's cheekbones turned the same shade as his ears.

"We had both been through a very difficult time, Anakin. I was merely helping her to… feel safe."

"I see…"

But Anakin soon let out a chuckle.

"Well, you're lucky I'm not Master Yoda. In the future, you should learn to better work on your alibies."

"Anakin!"

But humour left his young friend's tone as he spoke once more, resting a hand on Obi-Wan's shoulder.

"I am not judging you, Obi-Wan. She is one of a kind."

"This kind of feelings are forbidden in the Order."

"I never truly understood that rule."

"A Jedi must love all, not only one. It's the feeling of possession, the feeling of dependence that are to avoid. Your mind must be settled on all people, not only focused upon one being."

"But you said it yourself once, that these feelings are only natural."

"But the final decision must be the right one."

"So… you're going to remain sad and alone all your life, and condemn her to the same fate, just because you refuse to bend a rule?"

"I am not sad and alone. Neither is she. And the decision is not only mine to take, although I am certain that she sees things this way as well."

He was trying to defend himself, but in his heart, he lacked conviction as he spoke. The words came out but there wasn't emotion in them at all.

"If you do love her, then what difference does it make?" Anakin argued. "You speak about not focusing upon only one person… but if the situation was to present itself, and you had to choose between saving Senator Y/L/N and anyone else, wouldn't you make the choice to save her anyway? The fact that you may be with her or not… would it change anything? Wouldn't you do anything to save her anyway?"

Obi-Wan tried to find arguments to fire back, but he failed. He hated to admit it, but Anakin was right. He heaved a sigh.

"You are supposed to be the reckless one here, not the wise one," he merely replied with faked annoyance.

"What can I do? My Master taught me well."

"Too well, clearly."

"Have you talked to her yet?"

"How could I have done so? I was trapped in here. Remember the wound?"

"But now you can walk just fine."

"I was about to go see her before you arrived and kept me here, actually."

"Were you?"

"I was."

"You still didn't tell me what happened in that cave though."

The two men chuckled.

"Another time perhaps," Obi-Wan laughed as he stood, and he had a tender glance for Anakin, before turning on his heels and leaving the garden.

Anakin was right. Obi-Wan hated to admit it, but Anakin was right.

He hated it when Anakin was right like that…

 -------------------------------------------------

 You were back in your personal chambers, alone. Finally. The session of the morning had been a tensed one. Padmé had brought a lot of attention to herself in her plea to help neutral systems that suffered from Separatists embargo. You agreed with her, of course, but her direct phrasing had forced you to defend her often.

It was only the middle of the day, but you were already exhausted.

You couldn't solely blame your friend's reckless words though. Obi-Wan didn't seem willing to leave your thoughts…

You couldn't stop thinking about him. About what had happened in that cave. About the way he held you close, how his fingers felt around yours and… that kiss…

If you closed your eyes you could almost feel his lips on yours all over again.

You lifted up your eyelids again, blinded by the warm sun shining through the large window of your apartment.

Perhaps it was the feeling of his lips that lingered upon yours, or perhaps it was just the sun…

You should have gone to see him already, but you didn't dare. You were so deeply worried about him, you tried to find any piece of information about his health that you could. If news were reassuring, you still would have enjoyed to see it all by yourself. But you didn't dare.

You didn't want to compromise his status in the Order. And you didn't want to have this talk with him, the one that would have to take place whenever you would see each other face to face again. The one that would most certainly break your heart.

You already knew how he would go. He would be gentle and sad and he would mean every word of it.

He would explain how he meant it all that day, in that crevasse. How he did have feelings for you. But also that he was a Jedi, that he had responsibilities, duties, and that such feelings were forbidden. And he would always choose the Jedi Order over you, he had to. You knew it. The Order was his life, his family… it was him on so many levels. And you could never let him sacrifice such an important part of himself for you. You loved him too much for that.

You already knew perfectly how it would all go, so why suffer even more by hearing it for real? What was the point in that?

You walked onto your balcony, the sun even warmer outside. You watched the flying transports moving through the city, the sunlight glistening on the tall buildings, the lazy cumuli peacefully floating high in the sky…

And you closed your eyes just to feel him holding you again…

"Senator Y/L/N, there is a visitor to see you."

You didn't move a muscle, you didn't open your eyes, you didn't stop the memory from washing over you. Instead, you merely asked your protocol droid a very simple question.

"Who?"

But his answer had your eyes open wide.

"Master Kenobi is at the door. He asks to see you."

Your heart was suddenly pounding. Your palms were wet. Your throat tightened. You lost your gaze on the traffic again, but couldn't see anything but the blinding sun…

There was no way out though… it had to be done.

"Make him come in please, and then, leave us alone. And make sure we are not interrupted, please."

"Of course, Senator."

You heard the droid walking away. You heard the door closing. You guessed the quiet steps of the Jedi Knight too. But all the while, you kept your eyes on the city laying at your feet.

You were waiting for Obi-Wan to reach you, but it took longer than you had expected.

The reason was simple: the Jedi was standing before the glass door leading to the balcony that you had left open in your wake, and he was staring at you. His heart wore such a crazy pace, he was short of breath all of a sudden…

You were so beautiful like this, bathed in sunshine.

He took several seconds standing there, motionless, merely taking you in. Eventually, he did move onto the balcony and stood a couple of steps behind you in a respectful, chaste demeanour.

"How is your wound?" you asked in a voice you tried to prevent from shaking.

"Much better. Still a little sore, but… nothing that time and rest will not mend," he answered in a soft voice, but a blank tone.

"I'm glad to hear it. I was worried about you… I thought my favourite bodyguard had been broken."

"It takes more than a shaky landing and a snowstorm to get rid of me."

"I can see that."

You fell silent, and for a moment, Obi-Wan didn't really know what to say. He found himself uncomfortably at a loss for words all of a sudden. Unusual fact for him, he always was so prompt for sassy remarks as well as soothing wise words. But not this time. This time his mind was working as fast as it could but remained blank all the same.

But he didn't have to speak, you broke the heavy silence first.

"I know what you're going to say. I know it all already. But before you say it all, can you do one last thing for me?"

Your voice was calm. Soft. Soothing even. There was such a grace in your tone, something almost royal in the sternness that your voice wore.

"Of course," he merely answered. "Anything."

Finally, you turned to him.

He was lost in your eyes in a second. An instant was enough for you to capture his soul and heart all over again…

It was painful, the way he loved you. It was a weight on his heart that didn't seem to slow its crazy pace. It was a punch in the stomach that left him breathless. It was a fire coursing through his veins and leaving him endlessly burning and yet he had never felt more alive. It was this piercing truth shattering his heart and yet, he knew that no matter how this conversation would end, he would never regret loving you. Even if it meant losing a part of himself with leaving you, even if it meant breaking his heart, even if it meant dying a little… loving you was the best thing that had happened to him, and no matter how badly he would be hurt in the end, he would never regret this moment with you in this cave. And he would never stop loving you. Even if he could only love you from afar, his feelings would not falter.

He realized as you spoke again that barely a second had passed since your stare had caught his.

"Can you hold me? For just a moment?"

You sounded so fragile now. Your voice was shaking, a little more high-pitched than usual. He didn't say a word, and merely nodded and opened his arms for you.

You slipped in his embrace like you had been made to rest there. It felt so natural, so right… how could this be a bad thing, if it felt so right?

You wrapped your arms around him, losing one of your hands in his short hair and burying your face in his shoulder. He was holding you tightly again him, the same way he had on Hoth: a strange balance between a delicate embrace as if he was afraid to hurt you, and a tight hold that revealed how much he wanted you there, in his arms.

Your eyes just like his were closed. You breathed deeply his soft scent of candles and sun, memorizing everything all over again, just like you had in the cave. And he did the same.

For how long did the two of you remained like this, standing motionless in the sun? You had no idea. And he didn't know either. None of you could feel time flying by, this embrace was all that remained in the whole galaxy.

Eventually, you tightened your hold on him, lifting your chin just enough to bring your lips closer to his ear.

"Alright. Go ahead. Say it. Say it all…"

He cleared his throat before being able to speak again.

"How can you know what I want to say?" he asked back.

"Because I know you."

How could he argue with that statement?

"Y/N… I…"

It was his turn to tighten his hold on you and bury his face in the crook of your neck. But he did speak anyway.

"Y/N… what happened in that cave… I meant it. I really did mean it. All of it. I…"

He almost said the words, but couldn't.

"I do feel this way," he chose to speak instead.

Slowly, you nodded.

"I know, Obi."

He heaved a sigh, and detached his face from your neck, looking at you again. He raised his hand to cup your cheek, and you leaned into his touch.

It was exactly how you knew it would happen. First, he told you he meant it all. Then…

"I'm a Jedi, and you're… you're a Senator… We… we are not supposed to fall in love and be together. These things don't happen to people like us. We are supposed to live a lonely life while being surrounded with people."

… then he told you he was a Jedi and he couldn't be with you. And finally…

…finally he broke your heart.

He took a moment to collect his thoughts though. To gather the right words in his mind before speaking them. He needed to say it all the right way.

"I'm not allowed to love but I…"

He stopped mid-sentence, his eyes leaving yours to rest on your lips and jaw instead, and he seemed to change his mind. A small smile appeared on his features.

"Anakin told me something very wise earlier this morning. And I hate to admit it, but his logic was quite convincing."

He looked up at your eyes again, and this time, his stare didn't falter.

"I'm a Jedi and my duty lies in Peace. In protecting those who can't protect themselves. In the defence of the Republic and what it represents. It has been so all my life. But I can't do only that anymore. Not since I met you. No matter if we are together or not, my heart will always be beating for you, and I will always do whatever it takes to keep you safe. And by doing so… I'm already breaking my vow, in a way."

He took a sharp intake or breath, before speaking again.

"I am not the only one who has to take a decision, of course. And if you don't want me to stay, then I won't. If you don't want me to stay, I'll…"

You could see tears shining in his eyes as his voice broke. There was something desperate in his gaze, something passionate and yet calm. As if by taking a decision, he had found peace, but the confession stirred something inside him that he had never dared to act on until now. But there was so much truth in his eyes, and his hold on your cheek was such a tender caress and… you could barely breathe at all…

"If you don't want me to stay," he went on with a voice a little lower and deeper than usual, "I'll leave. I'll walk back to the Temple and leave you alone. And I won't try to see you again unless our duties call for our paths to cross once more. I'll go back to my room and in a few weeks, I'll leave for another world to fight while you are busy in the Senate. And our lives will go on unchanged and I will act as if nothing happened in that cave. Or…"

He paused for a second, moving his fingertips to rest in your hair, his thumb brushing across your cheekbone, making your heart pounding even more. You watched as he moved his head ever so slightly to the side, the sun caught in his hair and beard in a slightly different way through this angle, and you noticed every reflect of it. You were suspended to his words in such a way that you couldn’t move or speak or even think.

Because for now, all these words he had spoken, you were expecting them. But there was this 'or' that you had not foreseen, and all your crazy hopes relied on this single word. His voice a was little more fragile as he went on, a little more uncertain and yet you could see hope glimmer with the tears in his eyes now.

"Or you can ask me to stay and… I could stay for lunch. We could have a walk this afternoon and talk about your homeworld, and how Anakin drives me crazy, and the war, and peace. And when twilight arrives, we could have dinner together, and we could part for the evening with a little more than a 'good night'. And I could come back tomorrow and we could do that all over again. And on and on until I'm sent to the front again. And for a while we'll be apart, and I'll fight as a Jedi while you fight as a Senator, different battles but for the same goal. And once this war is over, and I am not as needed as I am now as a Jedi, and your duty as a Senator is over as well, perhaps we could… leave Coruscant for a while. Or forever."

You felt the tear run down your cheek but you were too shocked to react to it and brush it away. You tried to make sense of his words, but you weren't sure of their meaning yet. You had heard them, but could you believe them?

"You… Obi… You would leave the Order…?"

"When the war is over and the danger is passed and…"

But he interrupted himself, and merely nodded instead, running his finger through your hair.

"If you ask me to stay, I will."

"But it's your life! The Order is your life, you can't abandon it all! I can't let you throw it all away!"

"But you are my heart. I can't abandon it so easily either, can I? Unless… unless you don't want me to stay. And then I'll leave. I've made my choice by giving you this offer. But you have to choose as well. And whatever your choice might be, I will respect it."

You kept on staring at each other, but no words would pass your lips. Your fingers had gone numb with all the shock, resting on his shoulders but unable to hold on the fabric of his shirt anymore.

And you remained silent. For endless seconds, that turned into minutes, you were speechless and he was going mad…

He held you against him more tightly again, moving his lips towards your ear…

He wanted to ask you to tell him to stay. Just a few words that he wanted to ask so badly. He wanted you to choose him. He shouldn't, and guilt was a feeling he knew he would have to struggle with, but he loved you too much to act any differently. He just wanted to ask you to do one thing, one simple thing, just to stay…

Tell me to stay…

How he wanted to speak the words on the tip of his tongue. But he didn't.

Instead, he gave you a few more seconds, but you didn't make a sound. So, he closed his eyes as his heart shattered. Despite the pain, he didn't regret anything. It was worth all the pain.

He moved to drop a chaste peck on your temple, taking your silence for an answer, and he slowly released his hold on you.

"Farewell then, my love."

He took a step towards the door and away from you, turning around in a slow movement. But you didn't let him take another step. You took his hand in yours before he could move away again, and he turned to you once more.

"What about Koyo Melons for lunch then?"

You exchanged a bright grin.

And the next second, you were back in his arms and when you closed your eyes again, his lips weren't on yours in a dream, but in reality.

*********************

Taglist : @ponycake27 @horsesreign @xinyourdreamsx @jbluevelvet @notkeppeki @daynigt-dreamer-stuff @fudgeflyss @stuckupstucky @snek-shit @suchatinyinfinity @i-padfootblack-things @redhairedlady @yana-versio @goldenor5 @madamrogers

[thewriterwithnoplan]

Half Way (Part 3)

Summary: She knows who she is, but they don’t. To them, she’s the runner, the lone wolf who somehow, against every odd survived. They don’t know the half of it. Y/N L/N isn’t like them, she doesn’t belong at Camp Half-Blood but then again she’s about to discover exactly what belonging means. Pairing: (Eventual) Leo Valdez x Reader Word Count: 1717 Warnings: None.

"How was dinner with the Hermes cabin?" Will asked plopping down beside Y/N at the campfire.

The blonde boy had introduced her to the Stoll brothers, saying that since she hadn't been claimed by any of the gods she would have to stay in Cabin 11. The Hermes kids had been welcoming enough, if not a little put out that they'd have to take yet another undetermined camper. However, Travis Stoll had explained that things had gotten less crowded after they'd build several new cabins for the minor gods. Y/N would believe the 'less crowded' part when she saw it, there were more kids at the Hermes table than any other.

But perhaps it was the fact that there were so many kind faces that Y/N found herself saying, "It was nice, it felt like home."

"Ah, well don't get too comfortable," Will warned. "You're what, fifteen? Demigods are supposed to be claimed when they turn twelve, it's only a matter of time for you."

Y/N shifted in her seat but nodded none the less. If only he knew. However, neither had time to dwell on those thoughts as more and more campers began sitting before the roaring hearth. Huge banners embroidered with different godly symbols were set among rowdy groups of siblings. Most were seated with their cabin mates or beside their significant other, but some had deigned to mingle with friends.

It was an odd sight seeing hardened warriors with scared bodies and permanent frowns. Where Y/N was from there had only ever been one group of warriors and even they were always smiling. But for all their faults the Half-blood Campers were - if not a smiling bunch - nice enough. They sat together around that roaring fire of flickering colours like a group of old friends. She supposed they probably were just that.

A centaur stepped forward a speared marshmallow held toward the fire. Will had introduced her to the half-white-stallion man. Chiron, the activities director if memory served. Apparently a highly respected figure too, she observed several of the campers smiling and waving.

"Ah, good evening children," He smiled kindly at those around him. "Firstly, a special welcome to our new arrival. I expect you'll all make her feel very welcome. Second, it is my pleasure to announce that as of next Sunday, Capture the Flag will resume its bi-weekly schedule."

The teenagers gathered around a blood-red flag of a boar, cheered loudly and began shoving one another jovially. Chiron rolled his eyes good-naturedly and cantered off with a small farewell. The laughter and joking continued for a few more moments before a group of instrument wielding kids stepped forward, immediately silencing them.

To say that Y/N had never heard something like it, would be a lie. In fact, she herself had composed music both on her own and in large groups like this. But there was something else that weaved among the notes, a sort of brutal sorrow that only came from warriors trained together since birth.

She'd once met a pair of twins who played like that, she hadn't known their names or where they went but she kept their music in her heart. It was that young boy and girl that she heard as she listened to the ballad. Y/N half expected to spy them among the crowd but alas, she knew that she'd never hear their songs again.

Y/N had been so wrapped up in her own world that she didn't realise that the music had stopped until a hand was offered in front of her face. She followed the arm up to a smiling Will. Apparently, her face betrayed her confusion because a soft chuckle escaped the boy before he held out that hand again. Very much aware that the whole camp was now eyeing her, Y/N slid her hand into Will's.

"Sing a song for us?" He waved for one of the kids to offer her a guitar.

She'd told Will earlier that morning that she could play, she severely wished she hadn't now. But taking a look around the gathered campers Y/N knew there was no way out, so after a half-assed attempt to talk Will out of it, she had the instrument in hand. If it wasn't bad enough that Will had forced her into this position he - and the other children - all sat. Leaving Y/N as the only one standing. Gods, this was embarrassing.

The girl scrambled feebly for a song, any song. She swept her gaze across the expectant campers and then up to the skies. Finally, the girl gave a small sigh out of her nose and began strumming out a soft tune.

"This one," she pinned her gaze on the large banner depicting a staff entertained with two snakes. Hermes' caduceus. "Is for all the lost children, those without a place in the world and those stuck between two."

Weep for yourself, my man, You'll never be what is in your heart, Weep little lion man, You're not as brave as you were at the start, Rate yourself and rake yourself, Take all the courage you have left, Wasted on fixing all the problems that you made in your own head.

But it was not your fault but mine, And it was your heart on the line, I really fucked it up this time, Didn't I, my dear? Didn't I, my dear?

Tremble for yourself, my man, You know that you have seen this all before, Tremble little lion man, You'll never settle any of your scores, Your grace is wasted in your face, Your boldness stands alone among the wreck, Now learn from your mother or else spend your days biting your own neck.

But it was not your fault but mine, And it was your heart on the line, I really fucked it up this time, Didn't I, my dear?

But it was not your fault but mine, And it was your heart on the line, I really fucked it up this time, Didn't I, my dear? Didn't I, my dear?

But it was not your fault but mine, And it was your heart on the line, I really fucked it up this time, Didn't I, my dear?

But it was not your fault but mine, And it was your heart on the line, I really fucked it up this time, Didn't I, my dear? Didn't I, my dear?

Y/N took a shuddering breath and lowered the guitar but didn't dare open her eyes. She wasn't sure if the silence was awe or if she'd made them in comfortable. Probably the latter, though she dearly hoped that at least some of them had enjoyed the song. She loved it, in fact, it had been the first thing she'd learnt to play.

But then a familiar voice had her eyes flying open, "Hello Sweetheart."

Someone in the crowd uttered a plea for mercy. One by one the warriors around her fell to their knees and bowed so deeply their foreheads touched the earth. The god before Y/N chuckled and waved for them to rise. He seemed oddly amused with the display of utter respect, especially from a camp of his nieces, nephews, children, cousins and in some cases siblings.

Chiron trotted forward nervously and lowered himself to his front knees, "My Lord Apollo, I-"

"No need for those shenanigans," A brilliant smile of stark white teeth stretched across his face. "I'm only here for a small chat with my daughter."

Those instrument wielding children stepped forward again, nervous and sometimes reluctant expressions etched onto each. But the white garbed god waved them off and motioned Y/N to step forward. She did so cautiously, a look of reproach passing over her face but she made quick work of masking it.

"Father," She curtsied deeply, "I do hope you bring good tidings."

"Ah, well." Apollo clicked his tongue. "That depends on your version of good. I am here to first, claim you as my child. But most importantly to talk to your Oracle, Rachel?"

A redhead ran forward on silent feet. Rachel, who Y/N recognised as one of the Dare family, bowed deeply and began speaking in a whisper too quiet for Y/N to hear. Y/N took the moment to examine the stunned campers around her. Apparently, gods descending from Olympus to claim their children and have a casual chat wasn't a common occurrence. Which was odd considering... No, this place was different.

Apollo once again drew his daughter's attention from her thoughts as he straightened with a grin. The god cleared his throat, a glint in his eye that Y/N knew would result in a terrible Haiku. She knew thanks to years of listening to terrible mortal poets. Y/N caught the sun gods eye and sent him a scolding glare as if to say; What are you really doing here?

"Erm, yes." He caught himself and addressed the entire camp. "My daughter, Y/N, shall have her own quest. I have foreseen it and the Oracle shall foretell of it when Y/N is ready to accept it. Until next time I suppose."

Y/N sat down as the god turned to leave. That was a mess. Why couldn't Apollo have simply produced one of the little holographic suns his other children got? Scratch that, she knew exactly why. It was because she was born different, to this ridiculous destiny and this dumb quest and her stupid responsibility. But apparently, the fates hadn't finished humiliating her because Apollo turned back to his newly claimed daughter and gave her the dad look.

"And remember the rules Y/N," She knew exactly what the almighty god meant but she knew he wouldn't leave until she recited them. So she murmured them quietly in defeat, fiddling with the guitar strings, a brilliant pink blush gracing her cheeks. Apollo merely chuckled, "What was that sweetheart?"

"No going into the Hephaestus forges," Y/N huffed and only then did the sun god disappear with a smirk.

Chiron dared stand and gave a forced laugh, "Well children, I think that's enough excitement for one night. Off to bed!"

Yeah, that's about when all hell broke loose.

[bat-besties]

On Impossibility - 5

Chapter 1   Chapter 2   Chapter 3    Chapter 4    Chapter 6   Chapter 7   Chapter 8  Chapter 9

A popular!Logan and loser!Roman high school AU based on @2pointomg’s idea with eventual Prinxiety. 

impossible 

ɪmˈpɒsɪb(ə)l

adjective

·       not able to occur, exist, or be done.

Eg. It is impossible to fund both the sports and drama programmes with the school’s limited budget.

·       very difficult to deal with.

Eg. The situation which Logan Sanders, Student Body President, is in after he convinced the school board to cut the unsuccessful drama programmes is impossible.

·       (of a person) very unreasonable.

Eg. Roman Prince.

To Roman, nothing is impossible. Not following his older brother Patton to acting college, not being a loser taking on the school’s popular Student Body President and definitely not writing and performing an epic school play with no money and six cast and crew members.

Edited by @alpacasarethegreenestanimal, who has an amazing fanfiction on AO3! If you like superheroes, sarcasm and Virgil angst then you'll love this

@toolazytothinkofcreativename

@entitydark

@romanasanders

@barclays-sides

@cashmeredragon

@jughead-is-canonically-aroace

@immacrazyfangirl

@narniasfinestavengingsociopath

@featuredfander

@what-a-catch-joe

@mightaswellenthuseaboutbooks

@candiukas​

@whatamessofwords 

Logan had never been more productive. He was ahead on homework, debate preparation and extra credit work, more invested than ever in running the student council and had recently taken over running the accounts of Elise's band. Cutting out lunchtime as a break had greatly improved his efficiency, which was doubly true when he followed a traditional meal structure of seven or eight meals throughout the day, skipping the need for a proper lunch altogether. His parents had always tried to understand their unique son, so when he explained his new regimen to them they let him take a smaller dinner at his desk as well, providing that he promised them he wouldn’t work himself too hard. Logan wasn’t working hard enough – he taught himself basic ASL and studied Hamlet, watched Bill Nye on his laptop as he read essays on Cicero, then took up jogging every morning before school so he could join the track team. It may seem counter-intuitive, but two weeks on Logan had confirmed the hypothesis that losing Virgil was the best thing which had ever happened to him. 

Virgil leant against Logan's bright red locker, looking as though he was the fulfilment of the collective hopes of Simmons High and had fallen back to sleep. The position was much less comfortable than it looked, and the currents of conversation swirling past him were unnerving, but if he couldn’t see Logan coming then he would be engaged in conversation before he could run away.

There they were – those tapping soles in their regular rhythm cutting across the scuffles and pounding feet of the rest of the student body.

‘Virgil.’ succinct for once in his life, the single word from Logan was both an inquiry and an accusation.

Virgil forced himself to open his eyes slowly. God, Logan looked awful. He had lines under his eyes and his polo shirt had a tiny crease on the shoulder. To the outside eye he seemed fine, but Virgil knew that for Logan this was like rocking up to school in a dressing gown clutching a beer bottle. Why was he like this? Had Elise not checked he was fine after the fight, and had Joan not seen how exhausted he looked, and had the people constantly asking him for help not noticed how overburdened he was? He was with all these damn people the whole time, why hadn’t he asked a single one for help? Virgil hated that he couldn’t stand on his moral high ground when he saw his friend floundering in the waves beneath him.

‘Virgil?’ Logan’s forehead was creased with concern.

'Um, yeah. Well, I was just going to ask you something, but you look really bad man, is everything...Are you okay?’

'I am fine, not that it is any of your concern. What do you want?’

‘Well, I’ve joined Roman’s play thing and we really need money for costumes, so I was wondering if you could, you know find some to, you know, fund it.’

Logan stared at him wide-eyed, ‘Virgil – there is no money. I looked. I don’t know if anyone else but me has realised, but the school has to spend a lot of money ensuring standard of learning is maintained, and its extra-curricular fund is not infinite.’

‘OK, look, man, let’s do this another time, what time were you up last night?’

‘Don’t patronise me, Virgil. Let’s do this right now.’ Logan folded his arms and somehow managed to stand even straighter, ‘I have agreed to help a small group of people from my Spanish class go over verb endings before a pop quiz, and I do not want to keep them waiting.’

‘Fine – what about the debate team trip to New York, could that be made less expensive?’

‘No. And we can’t cancel – all five of us are counting on a national win or at least placing high out of the finalists for college.’

‘Well, the theatre kids need stuff for college too.’

‘I am fully aware of that.’

‘Well, then can we- ‘

‘There is no money!’ Logan quietened his voice after people looked round at his outburst, ‘I have checked, and re-checked, and checked again, and we can run debate, sports teams, bands and choir and assorted student-led societies. Nothing else. Now, if you’ll excuse me, I have to get to Spanish.’

‘See you around.’

Something in Logan went slack at that smallest of amicable farewells. Then he drew himself up again. ‘Goodbye.’

Time to wade into the fucking river. ‘Logan, wait.’ The boy turned, ‘Um, we’ve been using lunch to iron out small details to maximise rehearsal time. It’s a good plan – I got it from you.’

Logan smiled a little, ‘Using dead time to work. It does sound like a good plan.’

Virgil cupped a hand at the back of his neck. ‘Would you like to join us? No big deal, just so you’re not sitting alone anymore.’

So, Virgil had noticed him – he had seemed too caught up in stirring up the theatre kids to louder and louder shouts of laughter with his little comments and observations. It was a nice gesture, but when Logan had spent so long as one half of a pair it was hard to be tacked onto Virgil’s new group: all loud, all weird and all on the outskirts of the social structure of the school. Besides, they wouldn’t want him there. He doubted Roman wanted him on the same continent as him, let alone the same lunch table.

‘Sorry, Virgil. I too have been maximising lunchtime efficiency. I – I am glad you at least learnt something from me. Well, I must be going.’

Virgil stood for a moment, watching the crowds rush past him and swallow up Logan. In that moment, he wished he could just let it go, ignore Roman and his crazy dream and Talyn and their beautiful designs trapped on the page, and Dahlia and her corny puns, and Terrence’s dancing, and Valerie’s evil laugh, and Kyle’s love of monologues. He wished he could let go of the memories of green plastic and blood rushing to his head, of the imagined scenario in which he could no longer paint and how much having that taken from him would hurt.

He didn’t want to dramatically run after Logan or tell him he was right and abandon his principles. All he wanted was to be lying on his bed, scrolling through Tumblr and to have Logan flipping through a book on his bedroom floor. Every now and then one would read out something interesting or amusing to the other, mostly they were silent. They might have film music on in the background and there would be a plate of Mint Oreos halfway between them, so that they could both reach. Perhaps later they would brainstorm ideas for Logan’s project, or come up with silly names for emo bands, or watch Cosmos for the fifteenth time and have twin existential crises afterwards. Perhaps they would have dinner with Virgil’s parents and tap Morse code on each other’s chairs beneath the table in one-word inside jokes. Perhaps they would just stay there forever, preserved in the golden afternoon sunlight as though in amber.

The school bell rang shrilly, and Virgil jumped, cursed, and ran to his first lesson.

-----------------------------------

It was ironic, really – Logan working on his Macbook in a comfortable suburban house worrying about money. It wasn’t impacting whether he’d eat or what he could afford to spend his weekend doing. It wasn’t part of his job at all to look at the school’s accounts, but Logan could not just stick to ‘salad bars’ or ‘laptops’. He had gotten this job (twice) to change things, and it had given him power and popularity, so he would do it properly. He had negatively impacted the lives of the theatre kids, and now he had to rectify that. Before, he had decided to follow logic: money for football, track and swimming meant college scholarships for the athletes and prestige for the school, which came at the expense of only fifteen people, and only six of these were really hurt by the decision. But now he would try something different – he couldn’t do the impossible Roman wanted him to, but for Virgil he would try his best to examine what he could do to help the play.

At least he had somewhere to start from: there was no money. How could he get some? Borrowing from a bank wouldn’t work, even if money could be made selling tickets. Fundraising, then. He knew enough by now to know that selling rainbow T-shirts to raise money for theatre may be seen as a slight. Moreover, those free T-shirts were part of a project which would be his legacy to the school which had accepted him: compassion, equality and empathy.  Fine, at $3 each if he could sell 50, then that was $150. It was a start.

He stared out of his window, down the darkening street. Bake sales? Eight people could make a lot of cake, even if two of those had baking skills so disastrous they had vowed to never try having any snacks but Mint Oreos ever again. Logan pushed away his laptop to lie on his bed instead. He closed his eyes. There was a calculus test tomorrow, and he had an essay due in he really should rewrite. However, his priority should be to help the people he was elected to represent.

--------------------

Mariana Sanders tried. She tried to tell her son he didn’t have to do everything himself, she tried not to feel hurt when he corrected her grammar or brushed aside her view on science even if she held a chemistry degree, she even tried to take his textbooks away from him when he stayed up at night working until he began to plead with her and she relented. His father was happy to let Logan do what he wanted, provided he seemed happy and in control, but she just wanted to understand what was making him happy and if he needed help staying in control. She stopped outside his bedroom door and knocked softly. ‘Honey?’

‘Vinegar.’ He sounded tired.

She pushed the door open and threw some papers at him.

‘`Sweet Pea' and `Pussy Cat': An Examination of Idiom Use and Marital Satisfaction Over the Life Cycle’’ he read, then smiled up at her. ‘We’re not married.’

‘Same principle.’ She was glad he was lying down, and his school stuff was away on its shelf, ‘Are you going to bed soon?’

‘Soon.’

‘Sleep is incredibly important- ‘

‘I know.’

She sat down on the bed and tugged on his tie. Sighing dramatically, Logan loosened it, then at a look from his mother removed it completely.

‘Everything alright with you?’

‘There’s a lot on. Still, you know me, perfectly in control of it all.’

‘Invite Virgil over tomorrow, you need a break and I miss his confusion whenever I slip an MCR quote into general conversation.’ She rubbed his arm, ‘I’ll get you guys Oreos.’

‘Mmm.’

Mariana frowned. ‘Logan, is everything alright with you and Virgil?’

That look. He had that look and she was knocked back years. ‘How did you lose your new astronomy book?’, ‘Are you sure that everyone is away on your birthday?’ and once, terrifyingly, ‘Where did you get that bruise?’

‘No. Just a slight disagreement, both he and I are men of principles…’

She pulled him into hug, and he broke off. There was a beat before ugly, racking sobs began to shake his body and he clung onto her desperately. ‘There, there.’ She stroked his back.

A single tear wended its way through Logan’s hair, though he was too upset to notice it. Mariana tried to blink it back. She was the mother, and she was meant to sit and be a rock, not break down alongside her son! But – she was upset for him and angry at him, and goddammit she was human too.

Logan couldn’t even think straight. ‘Mom.’ He had soaked the back of her top, ‘Mom.’

‘I’m here, Lo.’ She was crying openly now, ‘Lo, you idiot, I’m here. I’m here.’

[imaginekpoplikethis]

7 Years - BadBoy! Jeon Jungkook X Reader - Part 16

Part 16 already!?

This came out kind of late because I got a little bit carried away with writing. I can't help but cringeeeeee at the end. Omg please tell me if you do too because I will actually change it if I have to.

Thanks for reading and supporting too! Love you guys 💗

Part 1  Part 2  Part 3  Part 4  Part 5  Part 6  Part 7  Part 8  Part 9  Part 10.1  Part 10.2  Part 10.3  Part 11  Part 12  Part 13  Part 14  Part 15  Part 16 - Here  Part 17  Part 18  Part 19  Part 20 - Final

Taehyung would have to remain in hospital for at least two more days so you decided to somehow make his stay more bearable. Your initial idea was to bring some game consoles like your Nintendo which in the end you went through with since Jungkook had informed you that Taehyung enjoyed playing action games a lot. You took it upon yourself to search for games you knew he'd be able to enjoy to the fullest and although it took most of your afternoon, the joy that spread across his face was completely worth it.

Obviously, you couldn't stay with him as you had to return to school the next day so after bidding him farewell, you started on your way home. As you were coming to the end of your walk home, you noticed two boys hanging around on the other side of the street, both beaten up quite badly. It took you a few seconds for you to realise there was a girl with them too, shamelessly flirting with the taller of the two. It wasn't hard to connect the dots and make out that these were the two boys Taehyung had gotten into a fight with, whom later got their revenge.

You couldn't stand to look at them whilst knowing what they had done to your friend and all the grief they had caused. The group was a mess when Taehyung was admitted into hospital and to see these two boys laughing and having fun made your blood boil. Maybe it was because you didn't fully understand how gangs worked but that didn't matter to you when someone who was trying to help, although maybe in the wrong way, had ended up getting seriously hurt.

Your eyes followed the movements of the girl who was now flicking her hair over her shoulder. Did she perhaps not know how dangerous these boys could be? Or was she the type to uselessly get involved with danger and bring a bad name to herself?

Anyhow, You were sure she looked familiar.

-

Arriving at school the next day, you walked straight to Areum's class. You hadn't had time to meet her in person since you arrived back in the country. Entering her classroom, you spotted her sitting beside the window and mad your way over.

When you reached her, you placed your hands over her eyes and leaned down beside her.

"Guess who?" Areum gasped in joy whilst removing your hands from her face and you shared a brief hug before you sat down on the desk in front of her own.  

"How was your trip Areum? Did you take loads of pictures?" When her hobby was mentioned, her face brightened even more and she nodded enthusiastically.

"Loads! I ran out of space halfway through though and had to delete a lot." You were in the middle of replying when a certain student caught your eye.

It was the girl from the day before, the same one who had been flirting with the two boys who ended up putting Taehyung in hospital. So that's why she seemed familiar, she attended your school.

"About a month ago there was another problem with a girl getting harassed. She goes to our school and she was begging me to help her, to pretend I was dating her or something"

But it can't be her, why would she be blatantly flirting with the same boys she was supposedly getting harassed by? Unless...

"Maybe she's the wrong girl..." Areum looked back and forth between you and the girl before deciding to snap you out of your thoughts.

"Why're you looking at Na Young? Wrong girl for what?" Slowly drawing your gaze away from the girl you now knew as Na Young, you decided to fill Areum in on your thoughts.

"Tae is in hospital because he was attacked as revenge for protecting a girl that goes to this school. I saw her yesterday with the same boys Tae got into a fight with. Am I jumping to conclusions or is that weird to you too?" She seemed shocked at your explanation and you realised that you hadn't actually told her anything about what had happened. Areum didn't press for details however and instead began to sneak glances at Na Young.

"I don't know... she's a great student like you but she gives me weird vibes. Doesn't seem like anyone else feels the same though." In all honesty, Just looking at her made you feel cautious. She suddenly turned her attention to both you and Areum, shooting a kind smile. Your mouth twitched into a smile out of politeness and you glanced at Areum who was mirroring your expression.

You wouldn't have been all that bothered if Na Young's smile didn't seem more forced than your own.

-

Taehyung had somehow managed to call you during your lunch break, claiming that your Nintendo had ran out of battery and requested that your being your charger. A charger is something you should have brought in the first place but your thoughts were scattered and it completely slipped your mind.

You had ended up agreeing to bring it after school which was why you were currently searching your drawers for it.

"Looking for this?"

You spun around to find your sister swinging the charger, a blank look on her face.

"I'm not even going to ask how you knew I was looking for that." A slight smile graced her lips and she walked into your room, handing you the charger before looking up at you with the most innocent look she could muster.

"You're sixteen now, that's just creepy to look at... what do you want?" She dropped her innocent expression and stood up straight, attempting to come across as confident.

"I want to go visit Jungkook's friend Taehyung at the hospital too."

You blinked once. You blinked twice.

Your younger sister had only ever met Taehyung once and that was when he came over to your house to pick you up and hang out with the boys. Then you suddenly remembered how he had left a lasting impression on your sister. She practically looked up to him and it wasn't a surprise since most of the time she acted childish and loud. You supposed she bonded with him quite quickly once she noticed how he had a similar mentality to her.

In other words, you believed she had a slight crush on him.

"Oh... if you want to I guess." A grin quickly spread on her face and she raced back to her room to get ready.

What had you just agreed to?

-

The hospital reception was exceptionally empty this particular day and you headed straight for Taehyung's room, your sister in tow.

Upon arrival, you knocked a couple of times, entering when you heard a reply from the other side of the door. Inside you found Taehyung sitting up against the headboard of the bed and a smiling girl sitting on a seat beside him. It was only when you drew closer that you realised said girl was Na Young.

"Y/N! My guardian snack angel is here!" You couldn't help the smile that creeped onto your face as a result of Taehyung's own contagious smile. Na Young meekly smiled from her side of the room and you stopped yourself before you furrowed your eyebrows.

So you were right then. She was the girl Taehyung stood up for. But then why was she with the two boys who she 'oh so desperately' wanted to stay away from?

"Hello Y/N. It's nice to finally meet you. Taehyung is always talking about you and how your his favourite girl friend." You sensed poorly hidden bitterness in her tone and by the way Taehyung's eyebrows shot up, he sensed it too.

Brushing it off, you walked further into the room and placed your bag down on the table beside his bed before deciding to reply.

"Well, I am technically his only girl friend aside from Areum." The smile never dropped from her face but you noticed a slight twitch on the corner of her lips. Turning towards Taehyung, you leaned down to give him a hug which he returned with joy.

"I brought you the charger and some snacks too. Wait, I won't get in trouble for feeding you all these snacks, will I?" He shrugged his shoulders as he dug around the bag you handed him, pulling out a packet of crisps and the Nintendo charger.

Finally remembering you brought a guest, you glanced at the sort to see your sister peeking her head around the side of the door.

"Oh Taehyung, S/N wanted to visit you." Once again, a grin appeared in his face and he enthusiastically beckoned you sister over. She too smiled and walked forward before presenting her own bag of snacks and games.

"I promised that I'd lend you this game, so here it is." She whipped out a game case and Taehyung clapped his hands in excitement, cheering.

"Yes! I was waiting for this, thank you so much!"

The next hour was spent making conversation although Na Young didn't contribute as much as the rest of you. When your sister suddenly stood from her seat, she declared that she was going to buy a drink from the vending machine on the ground floor and left the room. You conversed for a couple more minutes before Na Young claimed that she needed some fresh air and took off.

You took this as your one and only chance to make sense of your thoughts.

"Tae, when did Na Young approach you about her situation?"

He paused the game he was playing and looked up in contemplation before replying seconds later.

"I guess the week before you left for Japan."

Maybe that wasn't the best question to ask.

"Well, when you confronted the boys was she there and if she was did she act weird?" It seemed your questions had made him curious since he furrowed his eyebrows in slight confusion.

"Yeah she was there and I'm not really sure but what's with all these questions? Is something wrong?" You really didn't want to be the one to tell him but you were the only one who actually saw Na Young the day before with the boys who attacked Taehyung.

"I... I don't know, it's just weird. Are you sure Na Young was actually in trouble? I saw her yesterday with the same boys you confronted. There was no way I could mistake them for anyone else."

Taehyung's eyebrows dipped even more and he shifted in his bed.

"Wait, what? You mean Na Young lied to me?" Taehyung didn't sound all too hurt, if anything he sounded shocked that someone had actually approached him and lied straight to his face. He wasn't the type of person you would willingly approach. He may have a bubbly exterior but many students had heard of his notorious fights and they didn't tend to end well.

"We shouldn't jump to conclusions. All I'm saying is you should be cautious because it seems like she knowingly put you here. God knows what for." Taehyung stared down at his sheets for a few moments before his expression reverted back to its carefree look.

"It doesn't matter anyway, she's not important to me." You sighed in relief at the fact that Taehyung seemed to remain unaffected by what was most likely the truth.

"Where is S/N? She's been gone quite a while." It was only when Taehyung mentioned your sister that you realised it had in fact been fifteen minutes since you last saw her. Buying a drink definitely doesn't take that long.

"Hold on, I'll be back." Pushing yourself up, you walked out into the hallway and climbed down the nearby stairs. When you reached the ground floor, you spotted the vending machine your sister had supposedly gone to. She was nowhere to be seen so you decided to search the hospitals garden. As soon as you stepped out, you were grabbed, dragged to the side and pushed done onto your knees.

A glance to the side revealed that it was your sister who had pushed you into hiding. Not wanting to make any noise, you raised an eyebrow at her and she tapped her ear, silently telling you to listen.

"He's leaving the hospital tomorrow. I don't want to get involved again! Why didn't you finish him when you had the chance? I'm not doing that! Well, tell Gun Ho to go fuck himself!" It wasn't hard to figure out that the voice belonged to Na Young and you weren't even half surprised at her side of the conversation you just eavesdropped in. You could almost say you saw it coming.

That didn't stop you from feeling immense anger at her and your sister could practically see that too. However, you knew she wouldn't stop you from doing what you felt you needed to do. Getting into your feet, you brushed your knees off and stood behind Na Young, waiting for her to finish her phone call. When she finished yelling into her phone, she placed it back into her pocket and spun on her heel, jumping slightly when she came face to face with you.

"Oh, hey-"

"Cut that shit out. I heard your conversation and I saw you yesterday. What the fuck do you think you're doing." She didn't even flinch when you revealed that you knew everything, she just readjusted her bag straps.

"Just doing what I'm told to." You could have body slammed her at that exact moment. You couldn't believe she had the audacity to say that to you without the slightest hint of remorse.

"Oh, I guess messing up the lives of kind hearted people is normal for you then? Because Taehyung only had the purest intentions in mind when you came running to him for 'help' even if he did end up beating the shit out of your little boyfriends." She rolled her eyes at you and stepped to the side, trying to walk around you. Before she could do so, you blocked her path once again.

"I don't even want to know why you're doing this, I just want you to leave Taehyung alone because trust me, it's not going to end well for you." She scoffed and crossed her arms, placing her weight on one foot and giving you a quick once over.

"Are you threatening me? Do you know who you're messing with?" You let a slight smirk cross your lips and Na Young's eyes narrowed at you.

"I'm not threatening you. I'm looking out for you. It wouldn't be nice if Taehyung's friends found out that you caused all of this. They're very protective of each other, you know?" She held your stare for a few more moments before she let out a deep sigh.

"I'm going. I never wanted to be a part of this in the first place."  She stood up straight before mumbling a goodbye and walked straight out of the hospital.

"That was kind of cool but you could have made it less cheesy." Your younger sister stood beside you, watching the doors Na Young had just left through.

"Well I didn't exactly plan it, did I? But I'm surprised it ended the way it did."

Your sister switched her gaze to you before placing her hands on her hips, breathing out through her nose.

"If I'm being completely honest, me too."

You hoped that would be the last time you had to interact with Na Young.

[all-exo-imagines]

My Past, Present, and Future (Baekhyun)

Genre: Angst, Fluff

Pairing: Baekhyun x Reader

Words: 5004

Request:  Can you please do a scenario where you and baekhyun are best friends,(but you have a secret crush on him) and you two became stranger after his debut. After 3 years, you two meet again as you got a job at SM. But for your bad fate he's in love with someone. (at last he realiazed it was you he love).. I need a happy ending.. sorry for my bad english...

A/N: I’ve been sitting on this for the longest time, but I finally managed to get it done. There are some parts that I’m a little annoyed with, but it can’t be helped. I hope you enjoy.

The rain drizzled on the concrete outside my open window and the smell sent an almost euphoric feeling to the pit of my stomach. I rested my head against the windowsill and smiled at the gray and dreary weather that was displayed out for me to enjoy.

“You seem to be enjoying yourself,” A groggy voice said from behind me. I turned my head and smiled as I watched Baekhyun sit up from my bed with his hair sticking out in all directions. He rubbed his eyes with the back of his hand and gave me a sleepy smile.

“Well, I would be enjoying a nice movie with my best friend had he not fallen asleep on me,” I said, laughing slightly. He lowered his head and his smile changed to a sheepish grin.

“Sorry, Y/N. I’ve just been up late practicing for my audition,” He sighed, pulling his knees to his chest and resting his head against them. I smiled and swung my legs off my window seat and made my way next to him. I took a seat on the bed and smoothed down his hair.

“Don’t worry about it. Get some more rest, you have a big day tomorrow!” I grinned and placed my hands on his shoulders to push him back onto the bed. His lips jutted out in a pout and whine escaped his lips. He grabbed my shoulders and pulled me down with him. I felt like my stomach had joined Cirque De Solei with the twists and knots that were going on inside. My mouth formed an ‘o’-shape as Baekhyun moved my head to rest on his chest.

I was so in love with him. My best friend. The guy who would rather see me in a stained sweatshirt of a college I didn’t go to and some tights than a skirt and cardigan. The one who could read me like a book and knew my every thought even before I did.

Well.

Almost every thought.

He didn’t know that I loved him. More than a friend and more than family. I loved the way he smelled. I loved the way he laughed. I loved the way his eyes brows furrowed and his mouth opened when he concentrated. I loved how he bit at his fingers when he was focused. I loved him. I love him. I will love him.

“Do you think things will change if I make the audition?” His soft voice drew me from my thoughts and I tilted my head to see him staring at the ceiling with a far off look in his eyes. I reached for his hand and intertwined our fingers.

“Of course things will change, Baek, but that doesn’t have to be a bad thing,” I said, running my thumb over his knuckles. He pulled his lip in between his teeth and I watched as he moved his gaze across the dozens of glow-in-the-dark stars that decorated the ceiling of my bedroom.

“I meant with us. Do you think we’ll be different?” The hand that wasn’t held in my own moved to my hair as he began to run his fingers through it. His chest heaved a big sigh causing my head to move along with it as I contemplated my answer.

“I-I mean we don’t have to,” I whispered bashfully. Baekhyun adjusted his head on the pillow and stared down at me. A small smile tugged at his lips as he looked at me.

“Can you promise me something?” He muttered. I raised my eyebrows in question and he continued.

“Don’t leave my side. Promise to always be my best friend.”

“I promise.”

__________________

That was three years ago. That was my last day with him as his best friend. After he made his audition, he went off to Seoul and our daily video calls turned into sleepy phone calls and then half-hearted texts until eventually all that was left was silence.

The first year was okay. He made an effort to stay in contact, but by year two, I was just another name from his past. It hurt, definitely, but by year three, I came to terms with it. At least I think I did. And that closure that I convinced myself so heavily that I had found led me to where I am right now.

I was currently staring up at the SM building to start my new job, willing my legs to move inside. He was inside this building. I was bound to run into him eventually and no matter how many times that my brain screamed at me telling me that I was ready to see him again, my heart still pounded against my chest in anxious haste. A deep inhale and exhale later, I was pulling open the door and walking inside.

The décor around the entrance felt stiff and suffocating with the only color being the pink logo that flaunted itself on the information desk.

“Ah, you’re here early!” A perky voice pipped up from behind the desk, drawing my focus from the logo to the petite woman that had addressed me. I gave a hopefully confident looking smile and nodded my head slightly.

“I thought it’d be best to be early on my first day rather than late,” I said with a small smile etched onto my features. She nodded her head and laughed a bit as she motioned me with her hand to follow her. I obeyed immediately and she lead me to a room with a sign marked “Song Composition and Production.” She opened the door for me and I stood in awe as I looked around the room. It was big and open, filled with all sorts of instruments that lined wall. In the middle sat a big conference table with a plethora of comfy looking chairs situated around it.

“A meeting with the group you’ll be working with will start in a few minutes, but don’t be too nervous. You’ll have another composer here to guide you through your first meeting,” She said with a matter-of-fact tone as she gestured for me to sit.

“You’ll be helping with NCT Dream’s next comeback to start. At four, you have another meeting with EXO for some non-title tracks on their next album. If you have any questions, let me know,” The woman smiled and my heart dropped into my stomach at her second statement.

“I’ll be your assistant by the way,” she spoke again. “My name’s Ah Rin. I hope we can be close.” I gave her a smile and nodded my head before she made her exit. I didn’t even have time to gather my thoughts when the door opened once again. I stood up briskly and greeted my fellow composer and the three members of NCT Dream that I would be working with for the day.

__________________

The meeting went by quickly and by noon we had a few verses written for yet another cute, boy-in-love concept for the members. My stomach rumbled and I bid farewell to my colleague who I now knew as Kim Young-hu. I decided to walk to the café next to the building to replenish my energy and prepare myself for my meeting with EXO. From what I understood from Ah Rin, I was only meeting with the vocal line. That meant Baekhyun. My chest tightened at the thought and took a deep breath to avert my mind as I entered the lobby of the building.

What I saw when I entered my entire body freeze up. Baekhyun was standing there, smiling down at a pretty girl before giving her a chaste kiss and waving goodbye to her. His eyes followed her as she walked past me. She greeted me with a polite smile which I returned half-heartedly. When I returned my eyes to Baekhyun, he stood just as frozen as I had just been with his mouth agape.

“Y-Y/N?” He asked in awe as he slowly walked towards me. I smiled sheepishly and nodded my head slightly. The action caused a blinding smile to spread across his face before he gathered me up in a bone crushing hug.

“What are you doing here? I’ve missed you so much! Did you come here to see me?” He practically yelled as he jumped around excitedly with me still in his arms. I couldn’t help the laugh that escaped my lips at his antics. He pulled away from the hug, but kept his hands on my shoulder. He stared at me, the excitement still prevalent in his eyes.

“I work here now,” I said in between light laughter. I saw his smile falter slightly and the excitement leave his eyes, but he quickly recovered by giving me yet another dazzling smile, however, this one was different. This one didn’t reach his eyes. I had known Baekhyun long enough to know that something was bothering him.

“So, uh, where were you going? Let me take you out to lunch or something,” he said, trying to be casual. He retracted his hands from my shoulders and played with the hem of his shirt. He always did that when he was uncomfortable. Why was he uncomfortable? Did he only ask me to lunch to be polite? A frown formed on my face and I looked anywhere but him, desperately trying to figure out how to read this situation.

“Hey, Baek,” A voice interrupted our awkward silence and I looked up to see Chanyeol making his way towards us. I talked to Chanyeol a few times when him and Baekhyun were trainees, but once our video calls stopped, so did all interaction with Chanyeol.

“Did you just drop Taeyeon off?” The tall boy asked cheerfully, clapping a hand on Baekhyun’s back. I could see the color creeping up Baekhyun’s neck as he nodded nervously.

“Uh, yeah. You remember Y/N, right?” Baekhyun asked with a slight shake in his voice. Chanyeol averted his eyes to me and looked me up and down before a look of recognition crossed his face.

“Oh, yeah! You’re Baek’s best friend! Sorry to say, but I think I’ve stolen the position from you,” Chanyeol joked with a grin. I ignored the slight twinge in my chest at his words and awkwardly laughed along with him. He was right. I wasn’t Baekhyun’s best friend anymore. My Baekhyun had moved on to bigger and better things. Baekhyun’s eyes flickered down to my tense shoulders and pulled his lip between his teeth, a nervous habit he hadn’t broken in our time apart.

“Our meeting doesn’t start for a while, why don’t we all get some lunch?” Chanyeol suggested with a raised brow as his eyes moved from me to Baekhyun in question. “You two can catch up and I can properly meet Y/N.”

“I’m not hungry,” I suddenly blurt out even though the gnawing at my insides told a different story. Baekhyun’s eyes returned to mine and his lips parted in surprise before his eyes slightly narrowed on my obviously anxious figure. A growl rumbled throughout my stomach and I silently cursed my body for betraying my words.

“Nonsense,” Baekhyun said in a soft voice, his hand moving to rest between my shoulders as he gently pushed me towards the door. Chanyeol followed with curious eyes and I felt my muscles constrict at the feeling of Baekhyun’s fingertips lightly pressing into my shoulder blades.

__________________

I was pushed down into a booth by Baekhyun grabbing both of my shoulders. He tapped my arm and gestured for me to scoot in towards the wall and I hesitantly obliged. The warmth of his body heat next to mine and the heat of my own embarrassment made me feel as if my body was moments away from bursting into flames. Chanyeol slid in the seat in front of me before giving me a kind smile. The gesture made my body cool slightly, but not enough to be considered comfortable.

“So, you said you work at SM now,” Baekhyun started, curiosity filling his eyes. I played with the ends of my hair and nodded.

“Yeah, I’m a composer and lyricist,” I avoided Baekhyun’s eyebrow raise and trained my eyes on the tall man in front of me. “I’ll be helping you guys out with your next comeback.” Chanyeol’s eyes widened as did his smile.

“That’s awesome! I have a lot of ideas I want to run by you. Maybe if you’re free this weekend, we can get together and work on some songs,” Chanyeol said as he slightly leaned over the table in excitement. I felt my lips slowly turn upward in a sincere smile as I gave him a small nod.

“I don’t think that’s a good idea,” Baekhyun cut in abruptly, voice slightly harsh. The words made me jump slightly in my seat before I turned my head to glance at my former friend. I saw his jaw slightly tense, but his eyes remained neutral. Chanyeol’s brows furrowed.

“And why is that? Is it a crime to spend time with her without you?” Chanyeol said in a voice that was suddenly defensive.

“Your flirting is making her uncomfortable.” Baekhyun’s words made me snap my head in his direction and I felt him reach for my hand under the table. I pulled my hand to my side and I saw his fist clench in his lap.

“What makes you say that? The only person she seems uncomfortable with is you.” Chanyeol’s tone turned accusatory as his eyes hardened and trained themselves on the smaller man in front of him.

“You don’t know her like I do,” Baekhyun practically spat. That was it. That’s what made the heat of my body erupt like a volcano. The lava of my emotions seeping out of every crevice it could find. How could he say that?  After everything?

“You don’t know me anymore, Baekhyun,” I said in a low voice, keeping my eyes on him. His head slowly turned towards me with shock so painfully evident on his pretty features. His eyes were wide and his lips parted as they trembled slightly.

“W-what?” He basically whispered. I sighed and avoided his eyes once again. I glanced over to the witness of this whole exchange and saw him nervously twiddling his thumbs as he stared between the two of us. A sigh left my lips and I closed my eyes in hopes of escaping this encounter. When I opened my eyes, Baekhyun was staring at me expectantly with hardened eyes.

“Chanyeol, please leave us be for a bit. Y/N and I have some things to discuss.” His tone was almost threatening and I felt a shiver ran down my spine. Out of the corner of my eye, I saw Chanyeol nod quickly before shuffling out of his seat and stumbling away.

“I have to go,” I said quietly as I nudged his leg with my knee in hopes he’d get the hint and move out of my way. Instead, he placed on hand on the seat beside my head and the other on the table, caging me in my seat.

“No, you’re going to sit here and talk to me. What do you mean I don’t know you anymore?” His voice and eyes softened as he stared at me, searching my face for the answers he wanted. I scooted back against the wall and my eyes flitted around the café around us. A few baristas stared at us over the counter. Some looked concern, but more seemed confused.

“This isn’t exactly the place to have this conversation, Baek…” My voice was shaking slightly with nerves. Before I could utter another word, Baekhyun was grabbing my hand and pulling me out of the café and towards the SM building. He practically dragged me inside and pulled me into the elevator.

“Baek, stop pulling it hurts!” I whined. He shot me a look before releasing my wrist and moving close to me. I pushed him away slightly, but he reclaimed his position at my side.

“You’re not allowed to run away, okay?” He raised his brows, giving me a warning look and I pouted slightly but nodded. The elevator dinged, opening to reveal a common area with doors to other rooms lined along the walls and he placed his hand on my back. He led me to one of the doors before ushering me inside the room. It looked like a smaller version of the conference room you occupied earlier that day. He pointed to a chair and placed one hand on his hip and I suddenly felt like a small child being scolded by their parent.

“Sit.” The word was clipped and he sounded authoritative. I lowered my head and obediently sat in the rolling chair he pointed to. He sat in the chair next to mine and gripped the bottom of my seat, pulling me closer and forcing me to face him.

“Talk to me.” He said softly as if not to scare me. I sighed and ran my fingers through my hair as I carefully thought of my response. Then, it hit me. Why was I nervous? I should be angry. I should stand up and scream in his face for acting so oblivious. He knew exactly what he did to cause this rift between us and to act as if I was crazy for even insinuating that we were no longer close infuriated me.

The thoughts fueled my anger and I looked at him with a scowl on my face.

“Why should I?” I said crossly. He looked taken aback by my words and opened his mouth to say something, but I cut him off.

“You suddenly want to talk to me after forgetting my existence for two years? That’s rich.” I let out a humorless laugh and shook my head before getting up out of my seat. Baekhyun followed my movements. His forehead creased in worry and his mouth moved wordlessly as he desperately raked his brain for an explanation.

I turned my back to him not wanting to hear whatever excuse he was going to conjure up. I felt the tears pricking the back of my eyes but I refused to let them fall. This was my workplace. My fresh start. I couldn’t taint it with whatever lingering feelings I had for Baekhyun. I couldn’t let him be my downfall. The door was approximately five steps away. I can make it.

One step.

Two steps.

Stop.

I felt two arms tightly wrap around my waist from behind. A soft sniffle sounded behind me before I felt Baekhyun bury his face in my hair.

“P-Please, wait.” His voice was small and slightly muffled by your hair, but I could hear the desperation behind his words. I closed my eyes, trying to keep the tears at bay, before rotating my body and returning his embrace.

“Why, Baekhyun?” I whispered, burying my own face into the crook of his neck and letting the tears finally escape. He started rubbing soothing circles into my back and swayed us slightly.

“Sh, sh, it’s okay. Please don’t cry. I’m sorry, okay? I was selfish a-and,” his voice cracked. I felt him swallow and I knew exactly what he was doing. He was holding back. He wanted to be strong in front of me. He tightened his arms around me and left a kiss on my hair. The smack of his lips against my scalp sent an unsettling feeling to the pit of my stomach as I remembered the exact circumstances that led me to running into my first love.

The girl in the lobby.

The girl he kissed so sweetly as he bid her goodbye.

The girl that would definitely have a problem with me in her boyfriend’s arms as he shushed my choked sobs.

I tried to step out of his grip. I wriggled and pushed but with every attempt, he remained unfazed.

“Baek, let me go,” I sniffed as I struggled in his arms. My only response was a shake of his head and a pout.

“Baek, stop it,” I whined. He let go. His hands trailed from the small of my back to the sides of my arms until he stopped at my own hands, intertwining them.

“I’m not letting go of you again,” he said seriously as his eyes bore into mine. I averted my gaze and his thumbs ran along the skin of my knuckles, giving me the most pleasurable of chills down my spine. I just stared at him. What else could I do in this situation? I felt like I was, once again, slowly spiraling into the blackhole that was Baekhyun. I had just barely managed to rear my head out of it, but he sucked me back in without a second thought. Without thinking about how I felt.  Without thinking about how his girlfriend would feel.

My silence must’ve set something off within him.

He’s never been one for silence.

He lurched forward, cupping my cheeks, and pressed his lips to mine. His mouth moved fervently against my stagnant one. Do I give in and kiss back? Or do I pull away and stop him? The battle between my heart and my mind had begun to shut my body down as Baekhyun desperately tried to get a response out of me by leaving quick pecks against my lips.

He stopped.

Eventually.

“Y/N, please kiss me back,” He begged in a soft, almost pitiful voice. He pressed his forehead against my own and I watched as the tears slid down his cheeks.

“B-Baek, stop this,” I whispered as I stepped out of his embrace. “You have a girlfriend…” My eyes moved to the floor.

“Oh…yeah,” he sighed.

My eyes ticked upwards. One of his hands was tangled through his hair and the other sat on his hip.

“I should go,” I mumbled, stumbling towards the door. His hand gripped my wrist once more, but this time it was to steady me.

“Y/N, c-can we meet up for dinner or something this weekend? I need some time to sort things out, but I want to see you. Is that okay?” He asked, voice soft and unsure. I turned towards him and gave him a small nod. I needed to sort some things out, too.

He released my room and exited the room as fast as I could. I raced to the elevator and entered inside, fumbling with the buttons before the doors slid to a shut. I leaned against the wall and let out a long sigh.

I didn’t even know my heart could beat this fast.

__________________

The week went by a lot slower than I had hoped it would. Our meeting was spent with a lot of nervous glances and mumbled replies. Seeing each in the hallway was bowed heads and half-hearted greetings. But now it was Saturday evening. I was standing outside of Baekhyun’s dorm deciding which instinct I wanted to choose right now.

Fight or flight?

I sucked in a breath as the door swung open. Baekhyun stood there with a sheepish smile and the action warmed my insides. This was still my Baekhyun. Just a more popular and fit version of him.

“I was worried that Chanyeol forgot to tell you where to go,” he smiled, opening the door wider for me to step inside.

Ah, Chanyeol.

Our middle man.

Chanyeol’s the one that’s been texting me and calling me all week to keep me updated on the plans I had made with our best friend. He told me Baekhyun wanted me to be more comfortable, so he decided to go with one of our old weekend traditions for dinner instead of going to some fancy restaurant. So, that’s exactly how I ended up here. Standing in EXO’s doorway, fulling preparing myself to eat the burnt pasta Baekhyun was most definitely gonna make.

“Are you okay?” He asked in a worried voice, snapping me out of my thoughts. I nodded and he shot me a shy smile before reaching for my hand and pulling me inside. He led me to the living room and I saw two plates of nicely made pasta set on the coffee table.

“Did you make this?” I asked in shock. I gave me a proud grin and nodded.

“After I moved, you weren’t here to make it for me, so I had a lot of practice in making Saturday night pasta.” I smiled at him and he moved to sit on the couch and I quickly followed him.

“So…” I said softly, staring at the plate in front of me. I saw Baekhyun’s fingers twitch and I knew he was fighting the urge to touch me. I let out a sigh and turned my body towards him. His eyes were focused on my hands that were rested in my lap.

“I love you,” his voice broke through the uncomfortable silence that had built in the last thirty seconds. His eyes flickered to mine, sincerity swimming through his deep brown orbs.

“W-what?” I whispered as I stared at him in disbelief. Did I hear wrong? He couldn’t have just said what I thought he said, right? His fingers twitched once more before giving in and grabbing my hand, intertwining our fingers.

“I love you. I’m so in love with you. I-I can explain everything just please listen.” One hand moved to cup my cheek and I leaned into it absent-mindedly.

I should say no. I should get up and leave. But I couldn’t. The way he looked at me made my head spin. His touch was addictive and if I was going to overdose on something, I want it to be on him.

“I’m listening.” The stability of my voice surprised even myself. Baekhyun’s lips parted and he nodded, closing his eyes and sighing as he did.

“Okay, well, how do I start this?” I gave his hand a reassuring squeeze and he gave me a small smile.

“I love you.”

“You’ve said that already,” I smiled and looked at him through my eyelashes. His smile widened and he scooted a bit closer to me.

“I’m sorry. I didn’t want to stop talking to you, I promise. I just thought…” His voice trailed off and he looked away.

“What is it, Baekhyun?” I tilted my head and frowned.

“I thought not talking to you would make you miss me enough for you to come here. It’s stupid, I know, but I just couldn’t take it anymore. It was too much! Seeing you every day, but not hugging you. Not being able to properly hear your laugh. I just-,” His breathing was becoming erratic and his eyes were nervously flitting around.

“Hey, hey, breathe. It’s okay,” I cupped his cheeks and they were warm to the touch. He wrapped his arms around me tightly and let out a strangled sob. I shushed him and ran my fingers through his hair before leaning back so that Baekhyun’s head was resting against my chest.

“When I realized how stupid I was being, I thought you’d never want to see me again. I thought you’d hate me. You don’t hate me, right? You’re so precious to me. I don’t know what I’d do if-,” I shushed him again.

“Sh, baby, slow down. Just take a deep breath.” I did my best to soothe the frantic boy that laid atop me and after a few minutes, his breathing slowed.

“I gave up,” he whispered. “I tried to move on. I started dating someone, but when I saw you in that lobby, I thought that maybe it finally happened. That you came to see me.”

“It was part of it,” I mumbled. “I’d be lying if I say that I applied to that job without the hope of running into you. I feared it though, I thought you’d moved on from your old best friend. I thought I was just someone from your past.” Baekhyun lifted his head and stared at me, his lip jutted out in a pout.

“That’s my fault. I’m sorry I made you feel that way,” He sighed. “I could never move on from you. I don’t think I can leave you in my past either.” He sat up on his elbow and leaned his head down to connect his lips with mine. His kiss was soft, a great difference from the intense kiss we shared inside the conference room. Why had that one ended? It felt just as right as this one but…

Oh wait.

Baekhyun still had a girlfriend.

I pulled away quickly and wriggled my way out from underneath him. He sat up and his eyebrows furrowed in confusion.

“A-are you okay? Did I do something wrong?” His hand reached out to touch me but I jerked away.

“Baek, stop it. You have a girlfriend,” I mumbled, tears forming in my eyes as I stood up to leave. He was on his feet and wrapping his arms around me before I could even take a step towards the door.

“Wait, please,” he begged as I squirmed in his grip.

“Baek, stop.”

“I broke up with her, okay?! I broke up with her.” I stilled in his arms and stared up at him with my mouth agape. “I wasn’t about to miss my chance again. It was probably a dick move, but I love you.” His eyes were desperately searching mine for a response and I felt my heart clench.

“I-I love you too,” I looked away as a blush crept upon my cheeks. A smile broke out on his features and he squeezed me in his arms.

“So, does this mean you’re my girlfriend now?” He asked in a playful voice that was all too familiar for me. I peered up at him through my eyelashes and gave a shy nod. He did an excited jump and a giggle escaped his lips.

“I really missed you,” I mumbled moving to rest my head against his chest.

“I missed you too, Y/N.”

[paranoid-fighter]

Original Fiction: Rowan talks to Brother Carano

Meet the priest of the Three Faced God

Author’s Notes: 1) This is a direct continuation of this: http://paranoid-fighter.tumblr.com/post/161145992513/original-fiction-rowan-talks-to-a-priestess  2) I’m building out the town that Rowan lives in, as well as his character and Maylee’s.  3) Please let me know what you think; this story and the characters are becoming near and dear to my heart and all feedback is appreciated.

Word Count: 2845-ish.

Rowan awoke to the sensation of lips pressing against his shoulder. He did not move as he felt the kisses trailing over the ragged scars; instead, he fought to control his racing pulse. Rationally, he knew Maylee was kissing him and that he was not in danger, but the sudden wake-up had jarred him.   "Stop trying to kiss them better," he grumbled as he pushed his face back into the soft pillow. "I'm not." She kissed another scar. "I'm giving my thanks to him. He deemed you worthy and spared you." "He is just an old wives' tale." Rowan groused. "Nonsense." Maylee's hand came to rest on his chest, her fingers tracing over the raised tissue. "Old Man River spared you. You know he only kills evil souls." "He is a myth." He finally pulled his head out of the pillow and looked over his shoulder at the woman. "He is not real. He is not the crocodile that bit me. And, moreover, no one passed any sort of judgement about me on that day."

  Maylee sighed as she curled up against him. "Remind me to never wake you up with kisses again." Rowan closed his eyes and mentally counted to ten before placing his hand over hers. "I apologize. You know that I do not like to think of that time." "I know..." She closed her eyes as she basked in the warmth of his body. "But regardless of if it truly was him or not, you were spared. Hardly anyone who goes into the river makes it out alive. And the ones that do normally are missing limbs." Rowan pulled her arm a little closer; he tried to quell his unease at the memory of the massive crocodile that had nearly ripped him in half. "Maylee, please; let it go." "Sorry," she whispered. "You are not sorry." He glanced over his shoulder at her and winked before rolling over to face her. He placed a hand on her cheek and drew her closer. He kissed her forehead before sitting up. The blankets fell to his naked waist when he stretched; the room filled with the painful symphony of his popping joints.

 The priestess winced. "You should really see someone about that, Rowan. That can't be healthy or good for you." "It is merely the price of being an old soldier." He said as he climbed out of bed and began to look for his pants. "Try by the dresser," Maylee took her robe from the bedpost. She crawled out of bed and drew her robe over her naked body before she straightened out the bedding. "Thank you," Rowan said as he found his simple breeches. "And thank you for ensuring the curtains are closed. I did not want a repeat of last time." He didn't think he'd ever forget the amount of catcalling Sister Oiriana had done upon seeing his naked form. "We wouldn't have these issues if you wore something to bed..." He turned and gave her a dry look as he fixed his belt. "You have no room to talk, Maylee." "I am a priestess of a goddess of love," she said as she draped herself across her bed. "I must always be ready to serve my Goddess; it's in the job description!" Her laughter filled the room. Rowan fought to keep a dour expression on his bearded face but he found himself laughing as Maylee threw her legs into the air.

  "You are a fool," he said as came to stand beside her bed. "Ah, but I am a holy fool!" She grinned up to him. Her hands were held under her knees. "I suppose that is one way to say it, yes." He held out his hand to her and helped her back to her feet. "Is there anything you need of me?" "No, not that I can think of. Everything's taken care of for now. All I need to do is prepare for this evening's sermon, but I have plenty of time. It is still early enough in the day." "Alright." "Will I see you tonight?" "For worship, yes, but I will stay the night in my own home." "You could stay here again..." He did not miss her quietly hopeful tone. "I know, Maylee, but it would not be proper." "Proper be damned," she said glumly, "I don't like being alone and I know you don't like it either." Rowan ignored the comment directed at himself, just as he had done for over a year. "You could have any man or woman that you wanted. They would be happy to be your lover." "I don't want a lover, Rowan." Her voice was quiet. "I want a friend. That's all." Rowan opened his mouth to speak but she stopped him with a shake of her head. "I want a friend, Rowan, a real one. I want someone that I don't have to be Sister Ambrosia with. I want someone who knows who I am. I want someone who knows that my real name is Maylee Smith, that I collect used to ladybugs and butterflies as a child and that I once hid a skink in my mother's shoe." She turned to face him, her hands taking his. "You know no one else here will give me that. You know I have been trying for years to find that. And you know that no one will, because I am the chosen one of Goddess Amorosa. I am her Beloved. I am Sister Ambrosia, the speaker for the Goddess. We both know that outside of this room, Maylee Smith doesn't exist; only Sister Ambrosia remains and her life is dedicated to Goddess Amorosa. Sister Ambrosia is a conduit for her Goddess' will upon this earth and if anyone touches the hand of Maylee Smith, they will contaminate the Goddess' chosen. No one listens, though, when I say otherwise. This is how it's always been done here in Renaissance. The priestess lives for her goddess and her goddess alone without a care for her own wants... But I'm selfish." She met his gaze. "Please, Rowan; stay here with me."

  He blinked as he tried to find his voice. He had known that Maylee was lonely and he had known it for years, but he had never realized it was to this extent. She was always so happy, so quick to smile and laugh and dance in the town square. It was painful for him to see her openly begging for him to stay. She was offering him a home and her company; he would have a warm bed to come back to each night after he worked in the fields and someone to greet him each morning. In his heart, he knew that he wanted exactly that. And yet...

  "I am sorry, Maylee, but I cannot give you what you are asking of me." He held her hands a little tighter as his heart sank. "At least, I cannot give you that just yet. I want it, I truly do, but I need more time." "How much?" She frowned. "How much time do you need? It's been years, Rowan! You have been hiding away in your little shack because of him and your aton--" Rowan pulled his hands away sharply. "No, Maylee. No. You know why I cannot--" "Stop it," her voice was a low whisper. "He is gone, Rowan. He is gone and he has nothing to do with you anymore. With your life. With us." She hugged her arms. "With me." Maylee shook her head before she met his gaze. "Please, I want to help you. I want to give you a real home." Maylee did not notice Rowan's incredulous stare as she hugged herself. "I've watched you for years, you know. You've lived in your self-imposed isolation for years now, ever since you were healthy enough to walk. I know you say you're repenting for your sins, but at what point does your repentance turn into torture?" Her sad eyes met his. "You're hurting yourself. I can see it, plain as day. You're still hurting and all the years of being alone are making it worse. I can see how your heart still bleeds, even after all of this time, and I know it still bleeds for him. He doesn't deserve that and you know it." She sighed. "Even after all of this time, you still mourn--" "I mourn for what I lost and for what I have done." His eyes were as firm as his tone. "I do not mourn for him. I mourn for everything that I had lost when he betrayed me. I mourn the loss of my family, of my home, of the life I once had. I mourn for what I did in that life." He held her gaze. "That is why I mourn and that is why I must repent." "I see. So you say you are missing your old life, but yet, you must force yourself to be alone to atone for what you did during that life? Rowan, my dearest friend, I think you are deluding yourself." She reached out to him again, her hand seeking his. "I don't think you really want to return to your old life. I think you're just afraid to let go of the past and to start living your life for yourself." Her fingers laced with his. "It's time to move on, Rowan. It's time for you to be happy in your own life..." She met his gaze with a soft, sad smile. "So please, stay here with me."

  Rowan blinked as she squeezed his hand. He knew that she was right - and worse yet, she knew that she was right. For all of her smiles and laughter, there was a fearfully sharp mind behind those blue eyes. It was something that he loved that about her, but oh, how he hated having that same wit used upon himself! "I..." He lowered his gaze. "I will think on your offer." He finally said. "I promise." "Thinking means nothing," she mumbled as he pulled her into a hug, "at least, it doesn't mean anything coming from anyone else. From you, though..." Her cheek came to rest against his bare chest. "I know you'll actually think about it." "Indeed." He kissed the top of her head.

    After a simple breakfast, Rowan left Maylee's home within the temple. The conversation they shared over their cold cereal and berries had been banal, at best - a welcome change after their earlier discussion. She bid him farewell as she drew on the white silk robes of Amorosa and lit the brazier that sat in the middle of the temple. He breathed in the scent of roses and made the sign of his goddess before stepping out into the town proper.

  He tried not to notice the stares that followed him as he made his way through the town of Renaissance, but he could feel eyes burning holes into his back. He knew the rumor mill would be in overdrive today. He wouldn't let himself worry about the stares; they meant nothing to him. He ignored the stares of Brother Augustus as he made his way down the dusty thoroughfare, refusing to even acknowledge the anger of the spurned priest. His attention was focused on the round building made of blackened wood as he tried to steel his nerves. He knew it would do him no good; there was nothing he could do to prepare himself for a meeting with Brother Carano inside the temple of the Three Faced God.

    The inside of the temple was dark, lit only by candles that burned within their sconces. They threw dancing shadows across the wall, filling the temple with the three faces of the god. Rowan knew the names, but he did not know which face belong to which name. The differences between Augur, Academia and Arcana were known to everyone within Renaissance - well, to everyone except Rowan. Try as he might, he never could remember them.

  The heavy incense of the temple crashed over him like a tidal wave. It was so overpowering that it was staggering and, worse yet, it was intoxicating. The temple-goers said it mimicked what the Majii felt as they cast their spells, but Rowan had no way to prove the accuracy of their claims. All he knew is that if he spent much longer in here, he'd swear that even he could cast magic.

  He stepped into the sanctuary and made his way up to the dais to where Brother Carano stood. He bowed to the priest and flinched as the man turned to meet him; he hated the black robe he wore and the mask that circled his entire head - he could never tell which way Brother Carano was truly facing. "Greetings, Rowan," his voice filtered through the three mouths of the mask, "what brings you to my temple this morning?" "Greetings, Brother Carano," he hid his unease as the shrouded man silently descended the dais. "I have been told to come to you about something that I saw last night. I spoke with Sister Ambrosia but she said that you and your god," he drew a circle in the air with three spread fingers, "would be the better ones to ask." "Wise, she is." The mask spun around his head, stopping to show him the wizened face of Academia. "Come, let us go to the sitting room. My pulpit is hardly appropriate for a conversation." Carano drifted away from Rowan as his mask began to slowly rotate about his cloaked head.

  Rowan didn't know where Brother Carano's eyes were, but he somehow knew that the man had seen him shudder.

  The priest held open the door to a small sitting room. Rowan stepped into the room but did not sit until the other man had done so. He settled himself down onto a couch and looked to the masked man, wondering how he was able to move without having his robes reveal his body. "Now that we are in a place better suited for conversation, please tell me what you saw." Brother Carano's voice was pleasant - and was still coming from each mouth of the mask. "Yes, of course." Rowan sat up a little straighter. "Last night, I was awoken to the sight of a skull floating over my bed. It was like the skull of a deer, but there were jewels and silver chains strung between the prongs of the antlers. It had no eyes, but I could feel it staring at me." "A jeweled deer skull?" He half-asked as the mask stopped its spinning, once again showing Rowan the ancient, bearded face. "How very interesting. What did it do?" "It... did not do anything." Rowan admitted almost lamely. "Or, rather, I did not give it the chance to do anything. I struck the skull with my blade and split it in half." "What happened to the skull?" "It vanished. I thought it would fall to the bed, but it simply vanished into the air." "How very interesting." Brother Carano nodded slowly; his mask had not moved. "And why did you think to come and see me about this?"

 The man frowned. "Because I have no idea what it means and it appears that you do." Brother Carano laughed at that. "Indeed, I do know something. However, I am afraid that the entire truth of it would be damaging to your mind." He did not question that, for fear that Brother Carano was telling the truth. "I see. What can you tell me, then, that will not harm my mind?" Brother Carano smiled an unseen smile. "The skull that you saw is not real but it itself is real." "What?" "It belongs to someone but what you saw was not them." Rowan's brow knitted in confusion. "I do not understand." "I did not expect you to." The bearded face met Rowan's gaze. "What you saw last night was, indeed, magic. Someone was watching you." "Who?" He felt the hairs on the back of his neck starting to rise. "A majii?" "No. That was no majii." "Then what was it?" "It was many things, several of which are not important. What is important, though, is that you saw it. This is an omen, a sign of things to come." Brother Carano stood up. "I cannot tell you more, Rowan, but soon you shall see more than the world before your eyes." Rowan's frown deepened. "Brother Carano, I--" "I cannot tell you more." His tone left no room for argument. "...I understand." Rowan, too, took to his feet. "I thank you for your time. Good day, Brother Carano." "Good day, Rowan. Be well." The priest bowed his head as the man left the room.

  Had Rowan known the faces of the God, he would have known that it was the face of Academia that had spoken to him... and not the blinded face of the Augur.