#I dragging on posting for so long because I was sad it didn’t meet my expectations

[slyzia]

A walk around the streets

I know the perspective is kinda wrong but I already finished it, anyways! Lucrow people are you still alive? I have some food :DD

[steviewashere]

Pumpkin Pie

Rating: Teen and Up CW: Recreational Drug Use (Marijuana), Alcohol, Inebriated Steve Harrington Tags: Post-Canon, Canon Divergence, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Steve Harrington Has Bad Parents, Sad Steve Harrington, Insecure Steve Harrington, Steve Harrington is a Sweetheart, Eddie Munson is a Sweetheart, Eddie Munson Takes Care of Steve Harrington, Eddie Munson Loves Steve Harrington, Kisses, Cuddling, Sharing Food, The Intimacy in Sharing Pie From the Same Tin on The Same Fork, Sappy Ending For @steddie-spooktober Day 24 Prompt: Pumpkin (My probably only fic for spooktober because it got away from me)

🎃—————🥧 Eddie wakes up to a cold bed next to him and a bladder that’s screaming.

It’s not unusual for Steve to get out of bed in the middle of the night. Sometimes from a nightmare. Maybe because he needs a glass of water. Occasionally for the bathroom. But for his side to stay cold? That’s what’s unusual.

He pulls up his pajama pants, washes his hands, and makes it out of their ensuite bathroom. Well, it used to be just Steve’s ensuite and bedroom, but it’s theirs now that his parents have completely moved out of Hawkins. Leaving their too big house in a trust fund—the only thing that’s in the trust fund, it seems. Steve agreed that he’d pay the bills, so long as his parents didn’t fully sell it; surprisingly, they gave in.

The downstairs is completely dark. No life in the living room. No flushing toilet from the downstairs bathroom. Nothing. It’s almost as if Steve isn’t even home. Though, the back porch light is on. And in the light layer of autumn fog, glowing from the pool lights, is Steve laid back in one of the pool loungers.

Heaving open the heavy sliding glass door, Eddie chances stepping outside. The cold bites him—teeth marks, flesh missing. His t-shirt and fleece pants aren’t going to fend off the chill. And Steve’s outfit won’t do any better either. Considering the fact that he’s in nothing but some ratty sweatpants. How can he sit out here, Eddie briefly wonders. A waft of something skunky and earthy flares his nostrils alive. He shuffles over so that he’s in the adjacent pool lounger, sitting on the edge, arms wrapped tight around himself. Looking on at Steve’s profile, who is completely zoned out, bringing the joint to his lips mechanically. There are goosebumps on Steve’s shoulders, his cheeks bright red, the area under his nostrils a little shiny. He’ll get sick out here.

“Steve?” Eddie softly calls. Though, it startles Steve anyway. Hazel eyes meet his: bloodshot, glistening, his pupils expanded to their full extent from how dark it is. There’s dark circles under his eyes, heavy eye bags. His skin is pasty underneath the flush. Already looks sick. “What’re you doin’ out here, sweetheart? It’s warmer inside.”

A sniff. Shrugged shoulders. Steve looks back out towards the pool, but his eyes aren’t bouncing over the water—from where Eddie follows them, they appear to be mapping out the horizon line, a blue expanse coated with fog. “My parents called”—he takes a deep pull from the joint and the cigarette paper crackles into use, breathing it into his lungs, puffing it lightly from his nostrils—“they aren’t coming,” Steve croaks, the rest of that smoke billowing from between his chapped lips.

“They called at midnight?”

Steve gives a heavy nod. Another drag. Billowing smoke. “Motherfuckers are in London right now, livin’ it large with all their stupid business friends. Mom’s tryin’ to keep Dad from chasing tail.” He blinks slowly and lets out a longwinded sigh. “It’s whatever. Tried to keep in touch with my family, made them a bunch of nice food, and this is what I get. Fuckin’ whatever.” Steve’s smiling by the end of that sentence, this humorless, lifeless thing. He goes back to the joint again on autopilot, lips wrapping around the end, taking in another big hit, letting it settle, and blowing it out with his next sigh.

Eddie looks around Steve, the crumbles of burnt joint on the lounger, what looks like a near empty glass bottle resting near one of the legs, another smoked roll but it’s just the filter at this point. He purses his lips and furrows his eyebrows. Looks at that bottle again—Smirnoff. He takes a deep breath, oh boy. “Don’t you want to go inside, sweetheart? We can talk about all this in bed, y’know. It’s warmer,” he tries again.

“Nah,” Steve drawls. “I’m warm already”—another fucking hit—“’t’s fine.”

“How much have you had to smoke, Steve?”

He shrugs again. Nonchalant like none of this is worrisome. Whatever that phone call was must’ve shaken him up pretty bad. Especially for him to come out here and party like it’s 1983? Yeah, must’ve been pretty fucked.

A cloud of smoke. “Dunno,” Steve says, “put some money in your…your lunchbox. Gutted some of my cigs. Bada-bing, bada-boom, right?” He puts the roach out on the arm of his chair, leaving a shallow crater in its wake. Steve points loosely towards the leg of his chair. “Hand me the…the uh…the drink?”

“No, Steve,” Eddie responds firmly, “I’m not gonna give that to you. We should go back to bed. Talk about that phone call in the morning.”

Steve scoffs and hefts himself up enough to come off the back of the chair, just barely reaching over into Eddie’s space. His eyes are glossier than they were before, heavy lids, Eddie can smell the alcohol on his breath when he speaks. “What’s there to talk about? They don’ fuckin�� love me. ‘M not enough for them to stay and now they’re startin’ over without me.” He collapses back. A wet breath from between his lips. “It’s whatever,” Steve spits. Swallows and sniffles and—

The first tear rolls down his right cheek.

“Steve,” Eddie breathes.

“Nothin’ to talk ‘bout.” He wipes aggressively at his cheeks with the hilt of his palms. Mutters, so quiet Eddie almost doesn’t hear him, “Don’ fuckin’ love me.”

Eddie’s silent for a few minutes. Sour in his stomach from Steve’s soft sniffles, the tears he won’t admit are there. He looks out at the forest, the dark expanse of sky. Lets out a calm, solid breath. “Are you hungry?” Eddie asks quietly.

“Sorta.”

“You want some of that pumpkin pie I made?” Steve nods to that. “Okay,” Eddie whispers. “M’gonna get you some water, too, alright? Enough of the weed and alcohol for tonight.”

“But”—

“No, Stevie, baby,” he shoots down as gently as he can. “It’s not gonna help.”

Before Steve can protest again, Eddie swipes up the bottle of vodka and retreats back into the kitchen. He pulls the tin of pumpkin pie from the fridge, grabs a fork, a bottle of water, and heads back outside. Along the way, though, he snatches a hoodie of Steve’s and some socks for the both of them.

The water and pie are set in Steve’s lap, fork laying gently across its top. He scrunches up the hoodie and pulls it over Steve’s head for him, guiding his arms through, letting it fall loosely over his stomach. And he treats the socks with the same reverence, a pair for each of them. Finally, he digs a bite from the center of the pie tin—a hideous scrape of fork prongs in the center of what he made—and brings it to Steve’s lips, who takes the scoop gingerly.

Steve hums with his eyes closed. “You’re a good baker,” he mumbles with a full mouth, “best…best boyfriend in the world.”

He snorts. “Mmm…that’s funny, I was gonna say that you’re the best boyfriend in the world. My favorite person, too.”

“Really?” Steve looks to him with his eyes as wide as they’ll possibly go, pupils still dilated, still glossy, but surprised. “Am I really?”

Eddie combs his fingers through the front of Steve’s hair, swooping it back off his forehead. “Yeah,” he murmurs, “sweetheart, you are more than best to me. You’re everything, Steve.” He offers another bite to Steve, watches as it disappears behind his lips.

There’s a small, pleased smile on Steve’s face. The corner of his eyes crinkled lightly, sparkling. He looks down at the pie tin, a crease worming between his eyebrows. Gently concerned, “Are you eatin’, too? ’T’s your food.”

“Two for you, one for me. I’m not that hungry.”

Steve hums. Still watching Eddie, as he finally takes a bite for himself. And then watching with more intent as he gets another bit of pie. There’s a smudge of pie on the corner of his mouth. Eddie wipes it away reverently with the tip of his thumb. He receives a kiss to it for his efforts, which he chuckles at.

“I love you,” Eddie breathes—easy as pie. “Love you so much, it’s almost ridiculous.”

There are tears in Steve’s eyes again. When he’s inebriated, his emotions are practically free flowing. They always are. It’s a shame he only allows himself to be this vulnerable when he’s like this, but it’s all the same real. Wetly, “Love you, too. You know that? Don’…don’t forget that. That I…I love you, Eds. So much. Love you so much.” His next breath comes out as a little, weak sob. A hiccup, this gentle burble.

He pets his hand through Steve’s hair again, gently swiping it down the side of his head, and cupping his cheek. His face is warm and his eyes are shiny and he’s still so beautiful—so wonderfully Steve—even when he’s like this. “Shh,” Eddie whispers, “I know, baby. I know. And I’ll remember, promise. Because I’m gonna love you for forever, Stevie. Just you and me.”

Another soft cry—delicate. “Kiss?” Steve asks quietly, “can we kiss?”

Instead of answering verbally, Eddie deposits the fork into the well of missing pumpkin pie. He cups Steve’s face with both his hands and gently invites himself in. Steve isn’t very coordinated, his lips too pursed, and his whole face scrunching in Eddie’s palms, but he makes do. It’s a saccharine kiss all the same—no tongue, just their lips, more smear than anything. But when Eddie pulls back a few inches, Steve is still positively dazed. As if it’s the first time they ever kissed, in which Steve looked the exact same: in love, entirely surprised his tactic worked, and still completely pleased with the results.

“I love you,” Eddie murmurs against Steve’s lips, mingling in the same breath, “no matter what, I’m gonna keep loving you.”

Steve rests in Eddie’s palms, going lax into his left hand. His face is squished, he’s flushed and warm. There’s a goofy, lopsided, syrupy smile on his face. “You…you taste like pumpkin, Eds.”

“Yeah?” he laughs out through a breath. “You do, too. You’re my slice of pumpkin pie, Stevie”—he pets his thumbs over Steve’s temples, down at the corners of his eyes—“slice of heaven right here in my hands.”

“Mm,” Steve hums. He moves forward in his chair, coming up off the backing again. This time, though, he wraps his arms around Eddie’s waist and squeezes. Snuggling in as close as he possibly can with Eddie still holding onto his face. There aren’t anymore tears, on his cheeks or waiting in his eyes—the best thing Eddie could’ve hoped for. With the way he moved, Steve’s cheeks are pushed flush to his eyes. His lips are pouty. Eddie can't help it, he plops a kiss to Steve's forehead, right between his eyebrows. Steve's voice is distorted and mumbling when he speaks, “You make me happy, Eds. Make me so, so happy. Love you. Don’ forget, m’kay? Always…always love you.”

For a few minutes more, they’ll be sappy like this. Slow and soft in each other’s space, sharing bites of pie off the same fork, exchanging the same words. They’ll hold close, forgetting about that stupid phone call. And eventually, they’ll head back to bed. Fluttering against each other under the blanket, Steve nestled against Eddie’s chest, drooling onto the same pillow.

In the morning, Steve will wake up, hungover. But Eddie will be right there, a glass of water and some painkillers in his hands. The same words again, “I love you.”

🎃—————🥧

[chronic-escapixt]

Longing

post-merge!Kai x f!reader

content warnings/tags ~ Minors DNI, 18+ ONLY, Dark fiction, yandere, stalking, magical drugging, Kai's POV

summary ~ Kai develops an obsession with the first person to show that they care about him

Our story starts with the day that I died. Well - technically I didn’t ‘die’. But I almost did. I could feel it for weeks now: non-stop nosebleeds and night sweats turned into something much more serious than I wanted to admit. 

I could barely stand up straight when I finally dragged myself to my dear sister, Josette’s apartment. I had to swallow a lot of pride coming here. Since the make-shift merge granted me my own magic (sorry little brother) , I thought I’d never have to ask anything from any of them again, yet here I am.

Doubled over, clutching my abdomen, where every one of my failing organs fights over which can kill me the fastest, having rang the doorbell for the second time.

That’s when I hear a sweet voice behind me.

“Hey, are you alright?”

I don’t move or even respond at first because there’s no way she’s talking to me.

Then I feel her step closer, “sir..”

That’s when I turn and notice the micro-expression of shock on her face as she glimpses my sunken features and sickly pallor. Oddly enough, she doesn’t recoil away from me. She’s more concerned than anything.

“I don’t mean to sound like a stalker but I just saw you struggle the whole way up the stairs. Do you need an ambulance or could I call someone?”

She’s beautiful, okay.. like a major babe. Making it all the more embarrassing when I trip through my words. I should excuse myself because I feel lightheaded and socially deprived doesn’t even begin to describe the last two decades of my life, but I find myself flustered.

“Are you okay?” she repeats slower. She genuinely cared about my wellbeing even though it didn't benefit her at all.

I snap out of it. “yeah.. I’m fine.. just here to see my sister. She’s a doctor, so I’m hoping she can work her magic on me.. so to speak..” I try to straighten my posture, but my shoulders sag right back down pathetically. 

“Oh! You’re Jo’s brother?” 

“Yeah, we’re super close.. we’re twins actually.” 

She gives me a weird look then laughs out loud, “you’re funny.” I force a short chuckle at the expense of my aching ribcage.

It’s just like Jo to interrupt our conversation when she finally answers her door for me. 

“Kai?” she looks me over. “What’s going on?”

“Well, I thought I’d visit you since im not feeling the greatest and your neighbor here was kind enough to check on me.”

“Y/N?”

She greets Jo with a smile then turns to me.

“It was nice meeting you, Kai.” I could've died happy in that moment, watching her lips form the sounds of my name.

She continued, “I really hope you feel better and maybe I’ll see you around.”

I watched her disappear into that apartment of hers. Apartment B25, on the right side across from Jo’s. I’d learn it had a balcony that I could view from the storefront of the coffee joint across the street. 

My smile left my face when I turned back to my sister. For once in our lives, Jo actually helped me. It turns out I just needed her magic, the missing piece to complete the merge. 

Days went by and, my body felt better than ever, but my chest still felt achy. Like a weird gnawing right behind my sternum that bothered me at night and kept me up with sad thoughts. Ever since that weird crying fiasco, I started using the internet to look up these feelings I experienced based on my symptoms. Apparently, I was feeling longing.

I couldn’t ignore it for long, especially not when my memories of her face became hazy. I couldn’t remember if she had a beauty mark on her right or left cheek or that precise shade of hazel in her eyes. 

She became my obsession where all I could think about was the next time I could be around her. More and more I wanted to possess her. Keep her all to myself like a selfish child with their favorite toy. 

I learned her schedule and spent countless afternoons at that coffee shop across the street watching her come home after her classes. I found reasons, any reason at all to be in her building just so I could talk to her. 

I even told her I was a chemistry major just so I could finally get through the threshold of her apartment and smell the space permeated with her lovely cinamony scent. We’d sit together on her floor and I helped her study for her upcoming exam. Chemistry is surprisingly similar to alchemy and potions.

I’d watch her lips when she drunk her favorite cappuccino when we met up for coffee, my eyes never leaving the sight of the frothy milk left on her upper lip. 

I planned a murder when her out-of-state boyfriend decided to come visit her. Brock? Bruce? It doesn’t really matter because I made sure that asshole was out of her life for good. He was a douche anyway and she’s too pure for someone like him. It didn’t take me long to realize he was cheating on her. It wasn’t messy. I took a more refined approach and melted his brain with a simple spell before sending her every screenshot and the most brutal heartbreaking words I could think of sent from his cellphone.

Then I was her shoulder to cry on. I was the one that reassured her that she was enough. She was more than enough. She was perfect. 

I grew tired of watching her agonize over a shitty dead guy, making everything about him. So one night, when I got her drinks from the bar, I muttered a short spell to make a little potion to put her to sleep. I carried her home with me and tucked her into bed before climbing in next to her and pulling her into my chest. That gnawing was finally gone. No longer longing. I felt something else, but I didn’t care to google it because it felt so good I just wanted to enjoy it in the moment. I kissed her forehead and softly told my sleeping beauty that she was mine. 

And I’m never letting her go.

@daisy-renae @quinsly @ditzyzombiesblog

Taglist

[judesmoonbeauty]

Ghost House Report: A Requiem For You - Jude Jazza Premium End

Fan translation only. Not 100% accurate. Please expect grammatical errors. Cybird owns everything. Feel free to re-blog, but please do not post my translations elsewhere. If you'd like to be added to my translations tag list, please comment below.Thank you, for you support! ☾.

CW: Corpse, Death.

Anne: I couldn't keep my promise to my papa to be a good girl and wait for him...

Anne looked down at her corpse and muttered to herself.

Jude: Anne, ya turned into a ghost ‘n waited for him…….It was your father that didn’t keep his promise.

Anne: You’re wrong! My papa never breaks his promises!

Anne: I’m not lying to you, Cross my heart and hope to die,

Anne: stick a needle in my eye. ……that’s what he promised!

Anne: Someday, he’ll definitely come to pick me up……!

Kate: Anne……

Anne probably loves her father and wants to tell him that.

However, the mansion's investigation records did not contain any reports of girls going missing in the past.

Objectively speaking, her father did not come to pick her up, nor did he look for Anne, who died here.

Anne: But……I’m tired of waiting.

Kate: What……?

Anne: I’m talking about my papa, but I’m already dead and I can’t leave the mansion……

Anne: ……Since I’m tired, I think I should give up.

Kate: That……

Jude: …………

Anne: Miss Kate and Mister Jude’s coming here may be a good chance.

Anne: Now at the end, thank you for the fun memories……

Smiling sadly, Anne gradually disappears.

(Anne will disappear just like this……?)

(She waited and waited and waited for her father, but he never showed up……)

(….I can't overlook such a sad ending!)

Kate: Wait!

I stretched out my hand towards Anne as she disappeared.

Anne was surprised by my voice that held her back, and her transparent body gradually returned to normal.

Kate: I'll find your father and bring him to you, so please wait until then.

Judging from the condition of her body, Anne must have been dead for decades.

If it was that long ago, we wouldn't know if Anne’s father was still alive.

But, I couldn't leave Anne alone, who had kept waiting for her father.

Kate: Jude, quit being silent and say something!

Jude: …..? What?

Kate: I’ll let you meet your father. Jude, that’s what you promised.

For a while now, Jude hasn’t been acting like Jude.

Even though he usually places so much emphasis on keeping his promises,

When Anne grew tired of waiting and tried to disappear, he didn't try to stop her.

Kate: Are you willing to break your promise? Are you giving up before you take action? That Jude!**

Jude: ……What’s that, ya tryna provoke me by givin’ me a bad name?

Kate: Yes, I’m provoking you!

Kate: Usually, you’ve would’ve dragged the father over here.

(I don't know what killed Jude's spirit.)

(……But in order to find the father, I need Jude’s help.)

I thought I had to do something to get Jude motivated, so I went for it.

Jude: ……Ha. Seems like you’ve started sayin’ some pretty big things.

Kate: Sorry……but, I won’t take it back. Because right now these are the words you need, Jude.

When I finished speaking, Jude finally gave me his usual cruel smile.

Jude: —Anne. As she said, I never break my promises.

Jude: As promised, I’ll letcha meet your father.

Anne: ……Really? I’ll be able to meet my papa?

Anne: Ah! I’m a ghost, but I won't curse you two just because you broke your promise to bring my papa.

Kate: ……That’s not it. We’re not keeping our promise because we’re afraid of you being a ghost, Anne.

I didn't want Anne to cry, I wanted her to have hope, so I promised her that I would let her meet her father.

I simply wanted her to meet her father.

Kate: I’m keep my promise not because I'm afraid of being cursed, but because I want to do something for you.

Anne: …….,Thank you. Miss Kate and Mister Jude.

Jude: Now to set a date for the meet up.

Anne: ……date? .......

Jude: The point of when the promise is fulfilled.

Jude: Anne, remember. When ya make an agreement like this, ya hafta to be very clear ‘bout the terms.

Jude: Didn't ya hafta wait for years?

Anne: ……Yeah.

Anne: Papa said he would come, but it was really hard to wait for a promise that I didn’t know when it would come true.…..

Jude: ……I understand.

(Jude……?)

Jude: If ya can wait that long, be patient a lil longer.

Jude: I’ll definitely return, so be a good kid ‘n wait.

Anne: Yeah……!

Leaving Anne at the mansion, we finished the investigation and returned to Crown Castle.

Kate: Jude, let’s look for Anne’s father right away!

Kate: I'm going to ask Victor now for permission to view past records—

Jude: No, I’ve already found her father.

Kate: Huh…….already?!

Jude: The necklace hangin’ on Anne’s neck.

Kate: Ah, it’s Anne’s mother’s necklace.

Kate: She said she secretly took it from her Father……

Kate: …….Yeah? Come to think of it, you were also looking for a necklace.

Kate: Maybe it's the necklace that Anne was wearing.…..

Jude: T’was the same necklace I was asked to look for.

Jude: The wealthy ol’ man who asked me to find the belongin’s would be Anne's father.

Jude: Gonna leave ‘n see ‘im soon. Get depressed ‘n I’ll leave ya behind.

We traveled by carriage and arrived at the mansion of the wealthy man.

Wealthy Old Man: Don’t you think it’s rude of you to ask for me this late at night?

Jude: I finished looking for the belongings that were part of the conditions set for the land sale. I’d like you to check it out as soon as possible.**

Wealthy Old Man: You’ve found my wife’s belongings?! I guess it can’t be helped……

Jude: Here it is……Take it, and look it over.

Wealthy Old Man: Let’s see.

The old man takes the necklace from Jude, and carefully inspects it.

(This person is Anne’s father. ……He looks to be around 80 years old.)

(……Anne had been waiting for a long time.)

When I think about Anne waiting for her father in that gloomy mansion, my heart breaks.

Wealthy Old man: ……This is my wife’s necklace. You found it for me.

Jude: About that, there’s something I’d like to tell you.

Jude: I'd like to speak to you at the location where the necklace was found... Would you mind coming?

Wealthy Old Man: That haunted house... my wife's precious belongings have finally returned. I don’t mind if it’s just for a little while.

While occasionally lending a shoulder to the crippled old man, we brought him to the hidden room in the haunted mansion.

Wealthy Old Man: We’ve come this far. Can you tell me the story now?

Jude: Yes. By all means……talk to her.

Wealthy Old Man: Her……?

The old man looked up, and there stood Anne.

Anne: Papa……!

Even though he's gotten older and his appearance has changed, Anne seems to still recognize her father.

She happily jumped onto the old man.

Wealthy Old Man: C-could this be……Anne……?!

Anne: Yeah! You finally came to pick me up as promised……!

Wealthy Old Man: Promise……

Anne: I believed you! That you’d come for me, Papa!

The old man who had a look of shock on his face didn't hug Anne back.

Anne: ……Papa, I have to apologize for something.

Anne: The day I said goodbye to you, Papa, I had taken mama’s necklace. Can you forgive me?

Wealthy Old Man: Oh, oh, of course........I also have to apologize to you, Anne.

Anne: About being late to pick me up? That’s okay! After all, you came to pick me up properly!

Anne: Thank you, Papa. I love you very very much……

Anne: And then….Miss Kate, Mister Jude. Thank you for bringing my papa.

Anne smiled happily and disappeared with a light.

Jude: ……So? What on earth were ya doin’ waitin’ until ya were this ol’ to come ‘n get her?

Wealthy Old Man: Well, that's... I was looking for Anne, who disappeared after I sold her to the owner of this mansion.

Jude kicked a chair in the room as if to interrupt the old man's words.

Wealthy Old Man: Eek!

Jude: All ya asked me to do was search for your wife’s belongins’…...

Jude: Ever since ya sold Anne to the owner of this mansion, ya ain’t ever looked for her.

Wealthy Old Man: I-I couldn’t love that child.

Wealthy Old Man: My wife died after she gave birth to that child, and I thought that child had killed my wife. So……

Jude: Then ya sold Anne to the owner of this mansion, ‘n used the money to start a successful business.

Jude: Ya happy thatcha got rich by sacrificin’ your kid?

Wealthy Old Man: I-I let her go because I was thinking of that child’s happiness!

Wealthy Old Man: I didn’t think was good for that child to be raised without love.

Jude: ……So ya tryin’ to say it ain’t your fault.

Jude's earthy voice oozed with unconcealed murderous intent.

Jude: Ain’t no way a child can be happy if someone buys ‘em for a pittance.

Wealthy Old Man: That’s……

Perhaps out of guilt, the old man’s eyes wandered around.

He probably knew what would become of Anne, when he sold her to the owner of the mansion.

Kate: That’s too cruel…….Anne’s been waiting for you for a long time……!

Wealthy Old Man: I feel sorry..…. Let's bury the body next to my wife's grave.

The old man looked at the body resting in the corner of the room and quickly looked away, as if he couldn't bear to look at it.

(There’s no sign of mourning for the departed Anne……)

(……Anne’s been waiting for this type of person?)

I was filled with helpless thoughts, but there was nothing I could do..

The only consolation is that Anne smiled when she disappeared.

Jude: ……That’s ‘nough. My business is finished, I’m goin’ home.

Jude suddenly seems to have lost interest and turns on his heel. I followed after him.

Wealthy Old Man: Well, wait. I have a bad foot. I need you to lend me a hand when I go home.

Jude: It’d be nice is somebody came back to pick ya up.

Wealthy Old Man: …….You over there, lend me a hand.

When Jude refused, the old man tried to rely on me.

But, I didn’t want to help him because of what he did to Anne.

As I was wondering how to refuse, Jude grabbed my arm and forcibly led me out.

On the way back home in the carriage, Jude still had a grim expression on his face.

(There was something I wanted to ask Jude, but it didn't seem like I could ask him.)

Jude: ……What. Got somethin’ to say, then say it.

Kate: S-sorry……Um……

Kate: Jude you weren’t like your usual self, you were being lenient, so I wondered why……

Jude likes to make rich people who sit safely in high places to despair.

He’s said before that he’ll never forgive a contract defaulter.

Anne's father fits those two conditions perfectly.

However, Jude didn't push him into a corner or torture him any more than necessary.

Jude: Personally, I was so angry I wanted to kill ‘im.

Jude: But, Anne doesn’t want that.

Kate: Ah……

(……It’s true that Anne loved her father until the end.)

(No matter how angry we are, Anne doesn't want her father to suffer.)

(Instead of being consumed by anger, Jude was thinking about Anne's feelings……)

When I think about Anne, I’m not in the mood to chat.

A quiet moment passed without either of us saying anything.

I wondered how much time passed. Eventually, Jude began speaking to himself.

Jude: No matter how unreasonable it was, you wouldn’t hate it,

Jude: Waiting as a ghost for the day when the promise would be fulfilled.…..

Jude: ……Love is a curse.

After everything that happened in the haunted house was cleared up, I decided to write a report about it.

However, I quickly got stuck, so I went to the lounge for a change of pace.

Jude: ……Ya look gloomy. Still thinkin’ ‘bout the kid?

Kate: ……Yes.

Anne met her father and ascended to heaven with a happy smile on her face.

(Anne must have been happy with that, but…… I still can't get over the feeling in my chest.)

(“Love is a curse……”)

I recall the words Jude muttered in the carriage on the way home.

No matter how unreasonable and cruel her father was, Anne loved her father and kept waiting.

On the other hand, Anne's father was worried that he would be cursed because of breaking his promise due to having no love for her.

(I think what binds people together more firmly than the fear of punishment surely is...love.)

(Jude isn’t the kind of person who is afraid of punishment.)

(If that's the case, then the promise that Jude is trying to keep was also made out of love……?)

Curious about this I looked at Jude, and our eyes met.

Jude: ……Ain’t it better to just forget?

Kate: What……?

Jude: About Anne. Worryin’ ‘bout it is a waste of time.

Kate: ……No, I won't forget.

I will never forget the smile Anne gave me and the time we spent together.

Kate: I will make sure to record this incident in the report, and then……

Kate: I will do my best as a fairytale writer to ensure that such a tragic event is never recorded again.

Kate: I believe that if we use the Crown to defeat evil, we can nip these tragedies in the bud.

Jude: ……Ha. It’d be easier to forget, but I as I thought, you’re a masochist for choosin’ the thorny path.

Jude said in exasperation and left the common room.

Kate: This is fine……

After struggling for several days.…..I finished writing the report on the haunted mansion.

(When I finish writing the report, I always feel like the incident has come to a close.…..)

(.…..I don't think I'll be able to forget this incident any time soon.)

Her father will soon be tried on charges of human-trafficking for selling Anne to the mansion’s owner.

But he doesn't have long to live. Even if he does atone for his sins, it won't be for very long.

(Anne was made to suffer, so is it cruel to want someone to suffer just as much…..)

(……It’s no use. I can’t sleep while thinking about this.)

It felt like my thoughts were getting darker and more stagnant, perhaps because of the silence of the night.

When I headed to the kitchen to get something to drink to refresh my mood,

Victor was there humming while making sweets.

Victor: Oh, good evening Kate. Are you staying up late tonight?

Kate: Yes. I can’t sleep……

Victor: Jude had the same look on his face as you. It must be because of that haunted house mission you two recently did.

For the past few days, I've been going back and forth between the library and my room to finish writing my report.

I never met Jude, so I didn't know what was going on with him.

(I wonder if Jude feels the same way as me.)

Kate: ……Victor, I'm going to check on Jude.

Sorry for the delay. There were several lines that were quite a challenge to translate. Can't wait to see the EN version to be released and see how off I am. Anyway....

**Jude appears to be using proper English when addressing Anne's sperm donor at the start of their conversation, and then he appears to drop it after she ascends to heaven. ***For this line, 御託はええわ (Gotaku wa ewa), was placed before Jude said he was only told to look for the necklace, but I chose to drop this from the t/l. It seems to indicate pretentious/tedious/saucy speech to name a few. It would appear Jude is calling the donor's response tedious, however, this can potentially be translated another way, and I won't bore you with that. But, if anyone knows how, this is rendered properly, kindly let me know in the comments.

[Master Lists] [Bitter End] [Epilogue] Tag List: @theimaginativelyreticent @sapphire-323 Dividers: @/brokenbard

[technologyculturedneo]

Scented Poison. Final Scent

PAIRING. Jaehyun x Reader x Jaemin (ft Taeyong)

GENRE. Established relationships. Cheating. Office drama. Smut. Angst.

SYNOPSIS. What happens when a perfectly hidden affair becomes public? You feel almost petrified and exposed when Jaehyun (your husband) and Jaemin (the man you've been sleeping with) officially meet. Jaemin isn't afraid of twisting his words to get Jaehyun paranoid, neither is he holding back on the feelings he's grown for you. Meanwhile, you're so hell bent on securing and hiding this lie away from Jaehyun that it almost becomes impossible to tell him the truth. All the while Jaehyun grows more suspicious of your relationship with Jaemin that it strains your relationship. You find yourself left with no other option, but to come clean. The only problem now, is how to come clean to the man you've married, and the man you've been having an affair with.

WARNING. Slow burn (longshot). Office drama (mentions of inappropriate acts/unethical practices). Cursing (mild and soft). Smut (includes and not limited to cheating, consensual and non-consensual, rough/dominant, submissive, dry humping). Angst (has levels of tones). Betrayal (heartbreak)

WC. 34k

Disclaimer. I thought I posted this shot a long time ago (I'm talking 2 months back) but I didn't realize that I left it on post privately. And so for 2 good months, this amazing last part of scented Poison had been sitting in my Tumblr basement 👁️😭. I'm officially the saddest person on earth. But I digress, because this was absolutely a masterpiece to write ENJOY!

Masterlist: Part 1 | Part 2 | Part 3

The morning comes indicating and showing itself by shining through the curtains. Your eyes flicker open seeing the rays of light peeking through your bedroom windows. The windows are large, and so the light comes throughout the whole room. You sit up on your plushie bed surprised that you’re dressed in your white silk night dress and that you’re in your room. Last night you recall Jaehyun arriving home early and that you both drank wine and made love on the floor in one of the living rooms. However, you’re on the bed and Jaehyun's spot is empty and your heart gets sad. “Did I dream it all?”

Your head moves to the side when the bathroom door opens and your eyes make out the walking figure of your Jaehyun as he wears different styling of clothing- instead of the typical black work attire. "Wearing causal clothes feel so foreign," Jaehyun mutters as he exits the bathroom. A chuckle leaves your lips as you become happy that you didn’t dream it. He looks up to the sound of your chuckle, his eyes lighting up. “You’re awake. Good morning baby,”

You stretch your arms wide getting out of bed with a sleepy yawn as you flipper yourself to him, pulling him closer to you. He doesn't resist at all, even when you drag him onto the bed and continue hugging him and all you can do is tug him in an enormous hug wrapping one leg around him. He smells so good and he chuckles hugging you back.

"I thought I dreamt it all. I’m happy you’re here. Moring,” You mummer in a tired sleepy breath feeling his warmth against your skin. “Okay, I feel gross now." You get off him standing up and stretching your arms out. It’s upon standing that you feel your lower half being satisfied. Jaehyun meanwhile sits up on the bed watching you with a smile and happy eyes, especially when you turn back to him with a pleased smile. "You look like you’re ready to do something fun,”

“With you of course,”

“Well then, I'll quickly go and get ready and prepare a special breakfast for you then we can go out. Right?"

He stands up with his hair that's still a bit wet. "Anything you want,"

You lean back on your seat, with your legs crossed. The wind blowing gently while slightly carrying your flowy dress lifting it up lightly, you place your hand on your knee to not allow the dress to go higher, just as you sit opposite from your husband, a smile never leaving your face. You’re both sitting on a table of two as you ponder on whether to order the food inside the store or not. This decision is tough, because even though sitting outside of the cozy little brick building of a beverage and diner spot, you can tell how nervous your husband is to unveil his emotions.

He looks as though he should be doing something but he doesn’t know what, thus his eyes staring mindlessly into his drink and back at the inside of the store. You can only wonder what his thoughts are- but you’re sure you know what’s on his mind. Jaehyun leans back on his seat fixing the black sunglasses over his head as he sips on his wine again and breaths out looking at his drink. His face looking extremely worrying. Your eyes are stuck on him, finding him the most fascinating and amusing. Admiring his carefree, nervous yet charmed appeal, he slowly begins to look tense when noticing your eyes, sitting up straight and leaning over the table, he smiles at you while whispering. “It’s awful.”

You burst out laughing covering your mouth trying to lower your voice, but end up closing your mouth and your shoulders shudder in laughter. “I told you that they’ve changed in the weirdest of ways. Let’s just go eat someplace else,”

“No let’s stay, it can’t be that bad,” He continues smiling seemingly trying to convince you.

“You sure?” You ask your eyebrows raising in amusement. “I know you can’t handle your garlic well, and they’ve just began adding a lot of garlic to all their meals. I mean, I like garlic, but I don’t think you can handle it that well.”

“C’mon, it can’t be that bad.”

“Okay, if you say so,” You smile as you shrug your shoulders allowing him to have his moment. It’s seriously been so long, since the both of you went out and spent time together. Allowing him his time to express himself has you feeling like you’re back in the honeymoon phase.

He nods his head, before peeking to the inside of the store waving his hand once. In an instant, the chef of the store comes out with a polite smile. The chef being his old time friend. Moon Taeil. “Mr Jung, are you ready to order? We’re truly pleased to have you back here. How did you like the wine?”

You hide your face, knowing it’ll give away your jeering smile. Jaehyun hums out and nods his head. “Was it a new recipe drink?”

“Yes,” The chef smiles proudly. “We tried to create a brand new taste for this opening mouth, the wine festival is in a few weeks so we need to prepare. How was it? We’ve added a hint of garlic,”

“I think I can grow into it,” Jaehyun has a plastered smile on his face, looking up into the man’s face. “I’m ready to order,”

His grin enlarges yet again. “Don’t forget, it’s all on the house today. So get as much food as you like,”

“You’re very kind Mr Moon Taeil, I’ll eat and enjoy this meal. So yes, we’ll have the large pack of chicken breasts seasoned with everything except garlic, if it’s possible. Think we could do it separated with extra mild sauce for the madam and hot spicy for myself. Would you like garlic in your chicken?” Jaehyun asks you.

“I don’t mind,” You reassure as he looks over the menu.

“Alright, garlic for the madam. I would love some Italian styled spaghetti while my madam wants your soft slurping special noodles. A medium side tomato salad dish for me, without garlic again, a small avocado salad for the madam, I presume with garlic?”

“Yes, and a lot of paper and lemon,” You direct to Taeil before turning back to Jaehyun. Having him by your side, ordering your food makes you happy because really- it feels certainly real that he’s here with you, and that you’re not eating all alone (like all the other times).

“And lastly two full baskets of fries will do, is that okay?” He turns to you and you nod your head smiling at him. “The fries should be seasoned with minor salt. Oh, can I get the same beverage, and my madam?” Jaehyun turns to you with a little smile, asking you what you want to drink, just as he hands the menu to the chef.

“It seems like we’ll be eating a full meal,” You sit up with a charming smile. “Just water will do,”

“No problem madam, I want you to eat to your hearts content today. Enjoy yourself here, I’ll make the best full meal you’ll adore. Are you sure you want just water, not even with strawberry rizz the way you like it?”

“I’ll get full really quick if I keep drinking, but I want that strawberry rizzed water, I love how you make it,”

“No problem Madam,” Mr Moon Taeil, the chef walks back into the store and you turn to Jaehyun with playful wide eyes.

“You’ll grow into it?” You mock from how he commented that he’ll grow into the garlic flavored beverage.

“What?” Jaehyun smirks and elegantly speaks highly of his friend. “Mr Moon is the only man I can trust when it comes to eating outside. I trust that I’ll truly grow into it. He’s the best. Plus we’ve known him since college, so relax bae. I’m sure maybe it was just the beverages, he’ll come through with the food,”

“I can’t complain, because I only came here once without you and the food left my mouth in a garlic taste, and I never came back again. Anyway, you were saying?”

As you and Jaehyun simply chat on about a new fragrance he wants to launch, as well as the types of food and cravings that he has missed, your eyes do a double take when right behind Jaehyun- a whole street away, you see a face that you’re not too sure if you should be seeing. Your heart beats faster and you tilt your head to be in direct line with Jaehyun, hoping that you won’t be seen from the couple that seems to be approaching. However, it becomes difficult when Jaehyun quickly announces he needs the rest room. You sink your head down pretending to take interest on the table utensils. You hold onto them gulping down the bile bitter taste in your mouth.

Your eyes notice their stilettos stopping by the entrance of the diner and you hear a very irritated Haera. “Seriously Jaemin, you want to eat here? Why?”

You make the mistake of peeking up, because instantly you catch Jaemin slightly pointing at you. He smiles when you simply stare at him. You hold in your breath when he walks forward with his hands in his black sweatpants and matching black hoodie with a black cap inside. Your cheeks heat up when he moves forward and instead of coming to you, he moves past you. You see Haera folding her arms shaking her head with a strong disapproval look.

You turn your head around when hearing a strong scrapping sound- coming from Jaemin dragging another table. Aligning it with your table, his slanted head turns to you and he looks cheerful. “Hey,”

“Hi?” You utter out in confusion as you watch him take the two chairs that were once on the other table. “Jaemin you can’t do that, you’ll block the whole side walk,”

“Don’t worry, I’ve done this before at another restaurant. If the tables are outside, you can do anything with them,” He mummers after placing a chair for Haera. “Sit,”

Surprisingly, he takes a seat next to you breathing out gleefully, but when looking up at Haera he sighs as if challenging her. You’re unsure of the gaze they share, but it looks intense with Jaemin having a strong glare on his face while Haera looks really angry and her tongue poke her cheek before she sits opposite from Jaemin. “Fine. We’ll eat here. Anything for my so called love who got promoted as his worthless job,”

“Thank you to my dear ungrateful wife. So,” Jaemin breaks your gaze away from Haera and unto him, where you meet his pumped smile. You wonder why he’s smiling so much. Of course it could be because you had sex with him twice yesterday, but otherwise, there’s this strong happiness radiating out of him. “I wanted to thank you again for your gift, it lit up the house,”

“You’re welcome,” You meekly respond, trying not to make eye contact but feeling warm when he’s eyes don’t leave your face. You don’t know when, but there’s a friendly vibe around the two of you. Of course you don’t want to give in to the friendly vibe but you reciprocate his smile feeling hesitant knowing Haera’s sharp eyes are on you.

“Are you here alone?” He asks. “Thought we could join you. Did you already order?”

“I’ve told you one too many times Jaemin, she eats alone for a living. As if she doesn’t have a husband,” Haera articulates, yet instantly looks up when hearing someone clear their throat. Her eyes widen upon the figure of a person she hasn’t seen in years. “No way. You’re really here?”

Jaehyun’s eyes distastefully turn to her, blinking once. Seeing her only perks a spite of anger in him. It was only yesterday whereby he warned her that if she ever angered you again, then he’d blacklist her.

Haera is simply stunned seeing Jaehyun. Honestly, the last time she saw him was in his prime chubby years. Even though he became successful years later, Haera couldn’t care any less about his image, only that he was a millionaire making money and cheating on his wife. But now seeing him, her eyes take in his toned, bulky, slim yet firm features all over his body. He looks truly like a millionaire bachelor living the life. There’s no way, the fat chubby Jaehyun turned into a hunky piece of meat in under 2-3 years. Not only his figure, but his whole presence- and aura.

Being too stunned to speak Haera simply blinks and looks at Jaehyun up and down, but Jaehyun’s nonchalant cold stare turns to the man who’s sitting close to you. Jaemin is up on his feet in an instant bowing his head and body until his cap almost touches the table. Jaehyun is fazed when the bowing man gets up straight and smiles. If anything Jaehyun’s stone cold yet serious face wavers when blankly staring at Jaemin, especially after hearing Jaemin addressing him. “Good day sir,”

While your ears as well as Haera’s eyes are equally shocked upon Jaemin addressing your husband as sir- the both of you gasp out with different reactions. Jaehyun’s eyes go from Haera to you wondering why you’re gasping, before he speaks to Jaemin. “You’re the new replacement for Jungwoo right? Jaemin, is it?”

Haera’s eyes marvel in huge orbs. “Wait-” She gasps and turns to Jaemin in shock. “You know him?”

“Haera, this is my boss,” Jaemin’s words causes your forehead to heat up and your chest to tensely rise and fall. They know each other? “The Fragrance owner-”

“I fucking know that you dick head!” She whisper yells through clinched teeth seemingly joyful. “Babe! Why didn’t you tell me that he was your boss? You fucking work for-” Despite not liking Jaehyun and having the assumption that he always cheats on you, she envied his riches and money, a man making money was like the doorway to her soul. For Jaemin to be working- wait for Jaemin to have gotten promoted could really be a big game changer for her. Especially since Jaehyun knows his name. So this is why Jaemin was so excited yesterday. He was excited because of this promotion and not some flumsy workplace promotion- this was the big deal! Haera instantly feels this pride and joy in her husband. Finally, he stepped up. “I love you so much right now babe,” Haera whispers.

In the midst of Haera hushing out praises to her husband, your heart still thuds and drops all the way down when hearing Jaehyun say Jaemin’s name again. They know each other? How do they know each other? Jaehyun surprises you again when he addresses Jaemin. “Mr Na, is this your partner? Are you two, joining us?”

“Yes sir,” Jaemin is still respectful and controlling himself, even taking off his hat to show his respects. You can tell his in high awe of his boss, respects Jaehyun and seems slightly timid when politely smiling all the time, and that crushes you. Not only does Jaehyun know this person, but you’ve been having an affair with this person.

“Honey?” Jaehyun calls calmly and you jump when seeing he’s got your hand in both his big warm hands. Your heart scrambles and you can hear the beating in your ears but you try to calm down and smile hesitantly. Jaehyun is sitting down now, and so is Jaemin. And they’re both looking at you. You keep your eyes firmly on Jaehyun who tries to soothe you by rubbing your hand. “If you’re not comfortable being here we can go-”

“Honey?” Jaemin mumbles to himself. Slowly leaning back in his seat as if Jaehyun’s sudden odd presence makes sense. “Honey as in… husband?” Jaemin’s eyes are left in astonishment, his eyes never leaving Jaehyun.

You don’t even need to speak for Jaemin to quickly piece the pieces together. Instead of surprise, or terror for sleeping with his boss’s wife, a deranged proud leer sets on his face as he sinks in the background upon realizing that he’s been fucking the boss’s wife, you all this time. Jaemin is in absolute shock that he can’t even comprehend the livid details that his boss looks caring when holding your hand and smiling gently with you while caressing your hand, on top of that he’s dressed in the most normal of clothes and isn’t in his usual black suit that terrified everyone. The image is so defying and contrary to the ‘Jaehyun’ he knows within the workplace. Jaemin wants to laugh at the misperception, but he’s still fazed of being before his boss that he doesn’t know whether to act civil and professional, or relax in the same manner that his boss is doing.

Inside of work, Jaehyun is vicious and ferocious, he is demanding and makes it clear to everyone that they work for him only to get his money. He doesn’t seem like the type to be tamed or even held down, by a petite woman like you. Jaehyun strives in competition and is wrathful and egotistical and can do anything to get what he wants, Jaemin analyzes how Jaehyun got to the top. That same man seems more like a man of high social bars who sleeps around to relieve stress…he doesn’t give off the impression that there’s someone at home who he’s looking after.

Jaemin low-key watches your interaction with your husband and is surprised by the whole ordeal. Jaehyun’s eyes at work seem ready to kill and attack with just one stare, yet here with you, he’s being attentive and his eyes don’t seem at all harmful. He looks enticed by you. Jaemin can even see it, that Jaehyun is head over heels for you with the way he’s eyes go all over your face and whispering in such a soothing manner that makes his voice angelic.

Jaemin can only lean back in his seat in pure amusement of what he’s seeing. Jaemin doesn’t feel too intimidated by this form of his boss.

So this is the husband in which Haera has been spreading rumors that is sleeping with his secretary? The husband which is rarely around to satisfy you? Your husband, his boss? Your husband is his boss, that Haera has lied about? Jaemin can only look away with an amused smile. “What the actual fuck?” He mummers.

Jaemin’s attention is snapped back to reality when your chair screeches back. You feel your body heating up by both male figures staring at you. Your legs suddenly giving into the guilt of what’s been happening behind closed doors as they shake. “I’m a bit lightheaded. I…. I… I’ll be… I need to use… I….” You don’t finish your hesitant sentences as you let go of Jaehyun’s hand and slip out of your chair rapidly going inside the diner feeling your hands shaking. Haera with quick senses follows you- fearing that you might cause a scene resulting in Jaehyun and you leaving, and that would be bad because she wanted Jaemin to have this moment to become ‘friends’ with your husband.

“Y/n you’re being selfish right now-”

“I’m being selfish?” You turn to Haera in heavy shock as you blink at her.

Of course she doesn’t understand that you’ve been screwing her husband behind her back. You don’t know if she’d care that you’ve been sleeping with her husband. Jaemin has said that his relationship with Haera is just a hoax, not serious, only as a means for Haera to use him as a rebound- but still, she’d completely flip if ever coming to the truth that you have been…. That you as her best friend have betrayed her, that you as the one that she cried to for several months about Donghyuck (her ex), have been playing behind her back laughing and smiling with her husband. Donghyuck may have left her with spots that will never be filled again, but you were there to always assure her that her next husband will never disappoint her- but yet what do you do- you screw her husband.

“Haera, you’re the one being selfish right now. I just wanna spend time with my husband and not have to see you or your husband and have the both of you ruin-”

“Babes you won’t even hear a word from my mouth. I promise I’ll be quiet, please my husband just got a promotion and I’m so proud of him. He’s finally making it and-”

“No!” You shake your head with your heart beating fast. With the way Jaemin was secretly smiling, you don’t trust that he won’t cause a scene. “I can’t risk anything.” You mention making a straight beeline for any waiter.

Meanwhile outside, Jaehyun’s ears perk up right after his eyes follow Haera who’s chasing after you before he turns his head back to Jaemin who speaks. “I didn’t know Y/n was your wife sir,”

Hearing that comment makes Jaehyun mobile, he’s wondering why Jaemin is on first name basis with your name. “And I didn’t know your wife is fairly loud.”

Jaemin chuckles lightly. “Are you afraid she might corrupt your wife?”

Jaehyun gives Jaemin his best uninterested stare before replying. “Personally I’m not a fan of your wife.” Jaehyun’s about to get up to attend to you, yet Jaemin speaks again.

“Why is that? Is it because of the things she’s said about you?” Jaemin doesn’t know where the confidence comes from, but it makes him feel empowered in some twisted way that he’s been inside you many times to have a say in the relationship he shares.

Jaehyun has a twisted face. “Pardon?”

“I hate Haera’s lies too,” Jaemin has a secret smile when having Jaehyun freeze for a mere second before sending an all too familiar stone stare in Jaemin’s way. Jaemin goes on to filling Jaehyun in on the little drama. “I mean no disrespect sir, I didn’t know she was your wife so back then I had no say, but now… For a while now, my wife has been speculating that the only reason your wife is with you is because of the money, and she also has reason to believe that you’re cheating on her with your secretary.”

“What nonsense-”

Jaemin quickly raises his hand in surrender looking amused and pretending to be stunned by the news. “I know right, I’ve been telling her that it’s rubbish, she shouldn’t say things like that. Working under you, I know you’re an ethical man with high principles and morals. And I don’t think you’d cheat on Y/n. She’s beautiful.” Jaemin feels a bit hot headed when pouring the juicy details unto Jaehyun. He can’t help it, he just wants to understand why Jaehyun doesn’t satisfy you. “But also being around your wife a lot frequently I know she’s not after money, but something more traditional, something like love. She already has everything she needs except a solid foundation of trust. I don’t know why my wife does that to her,”

Jaemin’s words cause Jaehyun to breathe in once before leaning back on his seat not as eager to check up on you anymore. “Are you their mediator? Making sure your wife doesn’t get out of hand? Because if so, you’re not doing a good job. I might step in because if you must also know, she’s demoralizing my wife.”

“That’s why I’m simply there to comfort your wife sir.” Jaemin adds very calmly with an assuring smile. Which only makes Jaehyun stop in uneasiness. Comfort? “There’s only so much I can do to my wife, but her mouth runs on her own. I hate seeing your wife sad because of mine, so I apologize there. Knowing now that she’s your wife, I’ll make sure to keep Haera in line. Because your wife is remarkably wonderful. You know actually, after getting my promotion she treated me to something special, so it adds onto her charm of how loving she is, and I wouldn’t want to hurt her.”

“She got you something special?” Jaehyun’s brow raises slightly as he listens to Jaemin.

Jaemin smiles innocently and looks to the side upon realizing that Jaehyun has never cheated (merely being because everyone in the office believes that they’re boss is in a relationship with his work as he hardly ever mentions anything outside of work, and when he does it’s mostly about his competitive business partners. Jaehyun is married to his work). “Yes, nothing big. We went out to celebrate. Afterwards, uh she got me some flowers?” Jaemin chuckles lightly upon remembering when he got home after ‘massaging you’ and he saw the gift you got for him. “A congratulatory card, fresh vintage wine- that was expensive, and some striking polaroid pictures of her new album collection.”

Jaehyun can only think of how he saw the latest bit of your work, and they were erotic collections. To think that Jaemin got a sneak peek into your new collection makes him wonder how close you too are. Usually customers buy pictures, but somehow you’re giving it away to him. How close are you with him? And not only that, but Jaemin seems fond of you in a light way, but there’s something in Jaehyun that doesn’t sit right with the way Jaemin smiles.

Jaemin thinks of how he caused you, a loyal and faithful yet needy woman to go behind your husbands back and commit-

“For how long have you known her?” Jaehyun asks, when remembering how ‘Haera’s Husband’ called late at night on your phone. Late at night. Was that a normal thing between you and him? Did he normally call at that time, or was it unexpected also for you?

“Well your wife and my wife have been friends for a long time, but I recently met your wife. I’d say we hit it off well, in a platonic way. So that’s like a few weeks now, I’m practically damage control. Every time she’s in need, she calls me,” Jaemin chuckles looking back to Jaehyun hinting to the damage he caused. The choice of Jaemin’s words don’t sit well Jaehyun, especially if he’s only there to ‘comfort’ you. “She likes it rough…”

“Pardon?” Jaehyun gets ticked.

Jaemin’s head snaps up and he clears his throat shaking his head. “Hm? I said she has it rough, constantly being nagged by my wife. Always being alone and lonely.”

Jaehyun’s jaw locks when he hears Jaemin say the word ‘horny’ but it comes off as ‘lonely’. He could’ve sworn he also heard Jaemin say that you like it rough, before saying otherwise. It’s either his ears are messing with him or he’s not understanding Jaemin. “My wife has always been a tough woman. I trust that you’re misunderstanding your role as the husband to Haera. For all we know Haera may be projecting her insecurities of having a rough and lonely time unto my wife, so it’s best to check her instead of my wife. Now, if you’ll excuse me, let me check on my wife.” Jaehyun gets up without saying another word knowing all too well that he didn’t like the feelings arising in him. Heading for the diner door, Jaemin is left with one last glare from Jaehyun, the glare itself is filled with tension and Jaemin can feel it.

“Sir,” Jaemin clears his throat lightly. “Would you fire me for having a friendship with your wife?”

Friendship is harmless. But the one Jaemin is hinting at it, going about it subtly, only ticks Jaehyun off. He doesn’t look at Jaemin, but instead tries to calm himself down. “I don’t like mixing my work with my personal life. I’d fire you if you didn’t measure up to the high standards of my company. However,” Jaehyun turns his head around to meet Jaemin’s anticipation stare. “I’d appreciate it if you’d tend to your wife’s act of scandal and tamed her and you left mine alone. I’m here now, so you don’t need to be around to ‘comfort’ her anymore.” His words are firm and serious.

He’s here now. You don’t need to seek comfort in the arms of another. He won’t make the mistake of leaving you alone anymore. Taeyong was right in some way when he said that leaving you alone is scary. What types of people do you meet when he’s not around, and what the hell do they fill in your head?

Before he can pull the door open, you’re already pushing it open with four large brown paper bags of the diner’s logo. You’re holding 4 large brown paper bag takeaways looking surprised upon seeing Jaehyun by the door. He doesn’t waste a second longer, and instantaneously gets the load off your hands not minding the stern eyes of an angered Haera in the background. He’s so closed off and hooked on Jaemin’s words that he doesn’t notice the worry passing through your eyes when looking at him.

“I thought of getting the takeaway for us instead, was that okay?” You ask carefully.

“Good thinking.” Jaehyun holds the bags all in one hand and his other hand going down your spine resting at the beginning of your waist. “We should go,”

You draw closer to him, not making any eye contact with Jaemin nor Haera. Jaemin stands and bows his head noting that you guys weren’t gonna stay anymore. “Have a good day sir,”

Jaehyun’s jaw tightens but he tries not to show his slight irritation. “I want to see you. First thing tomorrow, in my office. In the morning.”

“Yes sir.”

And just like that, you fear that whatever Jaemin and he spoke about made him this way. As you’re both walking hand in hand around, you feel that the atmosphere has shifted completely. Whereby you and Jaehyun were practically talking about anything, it’s left with you talking alone while he glares wholes at anybody staring too long at you. You feel awful. You truly do. And when taking several rounds around the city you can tell that going home will be followed by some sort of discussion. Which is why you prepare for it by calming Jaehyun down by talking. You haven’t seen him angry or pissed in so long, but slowly as you sink into his arms when the Uber is going back home- you can feel his tight clutch on your arm. You can only wonder what thoughts are going through his head.

He’s so deep in his head that he doesn’t realize that you’re already home. Getting home, you notice his car along the curb of the mansion and can only guess that Taeyong has brought it back. Entering the house, you warm up the food preparing to eat the food from Taeil.

“What do you want to listen to?” Jaehyun asks bringing out his records. “Made the rounds around the basement and found these,”

“I hid them with the hopes that you wouldn’t find it,” You giggle just as he has a mischievous face.

“I’ll play this one. Let’s see what else you hid in the basement,”

Jaehyun seems to be in a (slightly) better mood because when he returns back to you in the kitchen, he begins chatting as if he wasn’t pissed off outside by Jaemin and every other guy that looked at you. He talks about how he should take regular breaks from work so that he can rest with you more often instead of leaving you alone and lonely. You don’t know where most of the topic is going but you go along with it, laughing, joking and eating and not trying to bring the tension. “You wanna take regular breaks from work?”

The question remains in the air for a long time. The silence, aside from the background music, has you worrying that you’ve probably said something wrong. Jaehyun continues to eat and drink on his wine and not even looking at you as if you didn’t say anything.

“Jae?”

“Mhm?”

“You said you’ll start taking regular breaks from work right?” You ask again, thinking he didn’t hear you. But just like before, he doesn’t say anything, he doesn’t answer. You blink several times and watch him devour the food. You let out a low chuckle and continue eating. “The food is really good,”

“It is,” He responds to that.

You’ve known him long enough to know that when he behaves extra clingy and doesn’t respond to certain questions that he somehow feels guilty- so you wonder why he’s feeling guilty all of a sudden, and about what.

For some reason thinking about how you left Jaemin to chat with him gives you chills that Jaemin could’ve said something to irk him. Because he looked angered when deciding to leave the pair at the diner. You’re curious to know, but not curious enough to turn the mood down, or cause an unnecessary argument.

So you ignore it.

The whole afternoon, Jaehyun doesn’t retreat to check on his work, instead he’s attached to your hip, literally. His hands in your hair when you’re not busy, his arms hanging around your waist when you’re working around, his head close to you at all times while he responds, listens and comments to everything you say.

You both end up being outside on the balcony of your room watching the sunset. Jaehyun rests his head against yours rubbing your sides humming to the songs playing in the background.

"I love Nakamoto Yuta so much. I'd do anything to have him play a private concert for me,"

Jaehyun laughs. "I still find his music weird,"

"You don't know music like I do," You laugh and roll your eyes.

"No, your music taste is weird," Jaehyun smiles and kisses your forehead suddenly. "I actually went to high school with him,"

"You keep saying that, but I don't believe you," You scoff. When the sun is no longer in the sky and the tiny little twinkling stars appear illuminating the night sky with extra wonder, you smile when a memory pops in your head. “This reminds me of our first date ever. Do you remember it?”

Jaehyun bites his lip with a smile forming on his lips. On that night, you were out camping with him (your ideal first date) and wanted to see the stars. He went out his way, to search for the best view just for you, which led the both of you standing above the mountain on an edged cliff whereby the stars were in arms reach. Jaehyun remembers how happy he was to have made you happy.

The view of your smile, of you opening up to him about your life, about moving out to peruse your passion for photography, because you always felt inspired by him and how hard he worked. It was on that night that he cherished you the most and made it his own person promise that he’d like to make you happy because you deserved the world.

Sadness comes upon him upon remembering Jaemin’s words. His arms slowly remove themselves from your waist in shame. He’s failed to keep you happy, and that makes him distant. You’ve been lonely and enduring so much all on your own. While he was out working, thinking that you’d enjoy the freedom and luxury he’d spoil you with… you were actually being comforted in another man’s arms while his wife spread disloyalty speech against him. Why did he lose track of his promises to be by your side?

His eyes humbly look up again and you both stare at the night serene peaceful view while hanging on the rail, you breathe out and turn your head to him when his smile is no longer on his face. You tilt your head and rest your arms on the rail watching him as his gaze on the view of the city lights below doesn’t seem to be in his mind, he seems preoccupied. “You okay?”

The silence that looms the atmosphere makes you stand up straight as you turn to him totally. He doesn’t say anything, nor does he look at you. He simply nods his head, his gaze now on the ground, with his hands in his black sweats as well as his head hanging down.

Not wanting to push him to talk you, you lay your hand on his bicep and walk in your room going to the joined bathroom. No sooner than later he slowly enters, meeting your eyes when looking into the mirror as you perform your night routine. He simply watches you, his eyes with hearts as he takes you in. You smile feeling flattered before mocking him for being hypnotized.

Walking into your room with him following behind after you’ve washed your face, you feel kind of relieved for Jaehyun not bringing up the inconvenient encounter with Haera and her husband and that the night will end smoothly. For you that’s a win.

Even better because when you sit on the edge of your bed, Jaehyun follows you. He bounces once, just as you bounce as well before you both chuckle. His hand carefully runs down your face, tucking your hair behind your ear. “I’m mesmerized by you again,” He shifts close to you. Your eyes sparkle with incredulity when he holds your face in his hands, his eyes, his dark brown eyes going over your face. Why is he always so mesmerized by you? “You’re so beautiful,”

“And you’re handsome,” You smile waiting for him to kiss you.

His head dips closer to you, his lips briefly touching yours once. He’s not in a rush, so you don’t attempt to quicken it. He tilts his head to the other side getting your lips in between his lips yet again. You close your eyes kissing him softly. No tongue, no force, just gleams of his soft peck. “I wanna ask you something,” He says between the kisses. “Who’s Jaemin to you?”

Your heart flutters causing you to instantly stop kissing Jaehyun. You clear your throat and move your head back trying to maintain your breathing from the harmless question. “He’s Haera’s husband,”

“I know that, but who is he to you?” His question presents itself as the first step to understanding what Jaemin’s parables meant.

“Why are you asking that?” You ask calmly. “He’s just Haera’s husband.” You answer again, feeling your tongue heated and heavy.

Jaehyun sets a hand behind his head while looking at you. “Has he come to our house before?”

“No.” You answer in a heartbeat before clearing your throat and shaking your head. “Why’re you asking?”

“Does he comfort you when you’re feeling lonely?” Jaehyun asks ignoring your question.

“Jae? I barely know him.” Your eyes reveal your confusion but you try to remain calm. In Jaehyun’s eyes, he picks up on all your little nervous reactions. He doesn’t want to draw conclusions on the relationship you have with Jaemin, but your reactions are causing his head to think otherwise. At first, his questions were to see if Jaemin was telling some sort of truth, but with your reactions he’s confused about your relationship with Haera’s husband.

“I just wanna know who you’re hanging out with,” Jaehyun speaks carefully with his eyes on you. “I’m barely around, so if you’re not getting comforted in your loneliness by me, it means you have a good friend in Jaemin. Right?”

You take a moment to understand the question and watch his reaction. “Honey, you can’t be jealous now.” You lightly smile, hoping to remove the fear in your heart. “But… I’m telling you now, whatever Jaemin said, don’t listen to him.”

“Okay,” Jaehyun gets his hand up lighting cupping your neck and massaging your neck. He gets close to you, his lips briskly kissing on your neck. “Do you feel distant with me?”

“No, honey never. I don’t even care how absent you are, as long as I’m with you, I always have a smile on my face,” You moan when his mouth is wrapped on a spot on your neck kissing, licking and biting all your well-known sweet spots. You hold onto his shoulder feeling, that his kisses are a little bit too hard. “Jae,”

“Are you after money?”

“Jae-ah,” You moan out when his hand gets on your covered boob and he squeezes on it causing you to gasp. His lips lingering over your open lips, touching, but not kissing, and it takes one glance of his eyes on you that you move in close to get a feel of his lips, but he moves back.

“No, you’ve always liked it traditional right. Just love, and my presence,” he gulps when looking into your eyes. They still look the same to him, your never ending eyes that were only for him. Glancing down at your body with his eyes, he lets’ go of your neck feeling hot after taking such actions without asking you. “Do you remember those days that you used to come over at my workplace?” He whispers but still gets close to you and kisses your lips. His lips are hot, soft, settling, nibbling and gasping- you find yourself in the same state pulling onto each other for more and when you stop, you have his eyes closed, heavily exhaling, hair ruffled, and he looks like the prettiest mess ever.

But if you look closely, you see some form of insecurity laying over him. So you plant your lips on him. “Can we talk about you acting strange?” You whisper between the kisses.

“Why’d you stop coming to visit me at work?” He asks, regardless of your question. You hum in remembrance parting from the kiss when he slowly moves back.

You lay your body sideways on the bed, while he lays flat and turns his head to you. His lips are slightly puffy and his hair is slowly forming into curly messes with your hands running over them.

Your eyes wander around his dainty analytic face. He’s got bags underneath his eyes, but they’re not heavy as before. His eyes remind you of the times when your hands were always on his hair to make him feel better, of the times he’d spend so much time with you, and attend to work during the late hours and would wake up with a headache but still go to work and then come home and instead of finishing up on work, he’d spend all his time with you before doing his work late in the night.

You shrug your shoulder when making your eyes move back to his. “You’re working at work. I felt like I was distracting you. Day in and day out, I was too clingy. You stopped sending me messages too, so I felt like a bother. I didn’t want to get in between you and work…” You mumble getting quieter, knowing that the truth would not be nice to be said out. “You practically started living in your office.” You say. It hits a nerve inside of you to say this, but you know that this is the discussion that you were waiting for in anticipation. Besides, when else will you get the time to talk to him like this when he starts going back to work again. “I didn’t want to disturb anymore,”

“You’re my first priority at all times. Not work. If you say you want me here, I’ll be here,”

You try not to roll your eyes knowing that even if it seems true, it’s not. “Jae, I just don’t want to disturb you-”

“I made a vow to you. It’s not like I would ignore you and continue working. All that I do-”

“Yeah, I know. All that you do, you do it for me.” You mumble out kind of bitterly but still keep a calm demeanor. “But clearly, work comes first because for you to do anything for me it would require money right? Hence the trips you make me go on, the brand deals designer collections you always get for me, or even always filling up my account, to show me that you’re doing all this for me,”

“Are you upset about that?” His eyes squint in hurt.

“No,” You instantly say assuring him you’re fine. You breath out through your mouth. “It’s just, I wish that you didn’t…you didn’t put me in such a position whereby I’d be a motivation for you to work harder. I mean, don’t get me wrong honey but… I mean, it's not like I cared about all of those things in the first place. I only wanted you.”

“And I’ve given you me-”

“No, you’ve spoilt me with your riches and success. I guess it’s okay, but it’s the fact that I’m doing all those things alone and you’re working. Jae I need you, not all those promises you made me. I needed you, not the vows."

Jaehyun's eyes that are on yours seem so hallow yet you can tell that your words are hitting him. He leans on in his elbow, his eyes never leaving your saddened eyes. “Were you really lonely?” He asks softly.

You flatter your eyes to the wall behind, not wanting to fight even a little. Your ears go back to him and you nod your head. “What kind of question is that? You know I’ve been missing you like crazy. And I know you're working extremely hard, but why did it always have to be so hard even to see you? I hardly saw you during the days and on the weekends you were either on a business trip or in the office. So of course I’ve been lonely. This house is so big and I’m always alone when I wake up,” You whisper looking into his eyes. “I don’t know how you do it, but no amount of work can make me get over how lonely I’ve been feeling for years. Feeling you at night when you come back is reassuring to me, but waking up without seeing you feels like a constant loop of loneliness. Did you really think I'd be okay?"

"I honestly thought you'd be." His hand comes on top of your shoulder and he lightly massages it. He pulls himself closer so that you’re both close by an inch. Jaemin was right, you had it ‘rough’. “Y/n, I promised you a good life, vacations, world tours, the biggest events, the whole world at the palm of your hand. I promised you that you’d be smiling whenever, I promised tha-"

You shake your head and exhale out. "No more promises Jae, no." He looks in between both your eyes, and you can see the fear in them. You breathe out showing a little smile even though it doesn't reach your eyes. "You're going back to work tomorrow. Just kiss me for tonight, be here right now with me. Let me feel you, let me cherish you. Kiss me Jaehyun. Just kiss me, I’ve missed you and I want you,"

He kisses instantly and deeper at that request- as if all the talking was just a hindrance and all he wanted was you. However in Jaehyun's head, the guilt sips into his conscious and he asks himself if really he took it too far. Working instead of being with you.

The thought itself angers him because he upset you. Remembering Jaemin's words about how you liked it 'rough' - his hand slides down to grip your thigh, spreading your legs a bit wider so that he can settle fully between them. And as all of him is lined up with you, you're left gasping for air by the kiss that gets rougher and rougher. He's licking, sucking, messing with your tongue before he leaves one big lip pulling kiss and sloppily downs on your neck leaving you panting and breathing. Jaehyun tears himself away from the continuous hickey he’s been giving you, his mouth treading kisses to your jaw, your neck, your ear.

You're trembling, not with fear but with want as Jaehyun breathes your name over and over onto your skin. Like a prayer, that emits how your name sounds on his lips. The fast paced kisses tagged with Jaehyun's equally fast moving hands as he unclips your bra from underneath your shirt, he removes your bottoms and sits up (still with his lips attached to your neck, leaving you moaning at the forming hickey) dragging your body close to him as he spreads your legs wider pounding you straight to him.

You gasp and open your eyes, your hands immediately take his face into your hands. Finding his eyes blazing, his breathing ragged as your own- you try to catch your breath wondering why's he being so rough with you? You just asked him to kiss you and be with you…not dominate over you.

He dares to run his fingers from your back all the way up to removing your shirt and bra in the process. You're flustered when seeing your nearly naked under his grasp. You slide your hand down his check, right beneath the collar of his shirt. His skin is like heated silk, he shudders at the touch, head bowing so that his inky black hair spills forward blocking your view of his face.

Jaehyun always asked.

But this time when he grips your ass and stares back into your eyes while strutting his sweats down a little before parting your thong and his hips drive into yours just enough that a lewd gasp comes out of you. It's the more, you realize, that you want more of him… More of him when he doesn't ask but takes it from you.

"Jae," you throw your head back and moan out the more he thrusts into you. His thrusts are a bit slow but each one is impactful. When he sees how you're enjoying it and not worried about if he's hurting you or not- something comes over him, be it anger, disappointment that he can't get Jaemin's stupid words out his head, whatever comes over him causes him a low growl as he pins your body into him and does as you say.

He takes from you in the roughest way possible when all of a sudden his thrusts are on fire and his speed shots rocket high his skin pounding into you mercilessly. He figures it's the anger he felt at the diner with Jaemin. He grips onto your flesh and bounces you in an insane way onto his cock that gets rougher causing your clit to tighten as you feel your stomach bubbling with release. "Jae, slowly-" You stop talking shutting your eyes heavily. Your words hardly reach his ears. Jaehyun wants you to stop talking and in a flash his lips are on you again. Your hands that are tight on his biceps squeeze on tightly when he seems hypnotized by the lust.

His other hand runs up you back pressing you harder against his chest. You taste like the wine sunrise that you came from drinking and the sweetness that makes his head swim with thirst. He sucks into your tongue dictating over you. Your mouth opened up, lips parted as you try to catch up with him, but you're unable. He was never one to explore, but you're astonished in shock how he doesn't leave your mouth unexplored.

Every part of him wants to wrap around you. It's like all the dirty desires he once had about you begin to enlighten in this moment that he doesn't hear a word you say. "You like to rough don't you." Is the only words that leave his lips when his thrusts are never gentle, like before.

Jaehyun closes his eyes burying his head on your chest tightly holding onto you. He couldn't believe how you really liked it in the beginning and urged him to go on. You were never like this so what corrupted your thoughts? Could it be because he hasn't been home for so long that now you were sex deprived and wanted it rough? And that you were never really lonely but instead horny… And Jaemin comforted you by-

"No!" Jaehyun's cock is deeply into your belly even though you've long cummed and are now begging him to stop he doesn't hear and they're tears by your eyes. "Jaehyun please!"

Your hands are now in his hair trying to pull him away. Now you know that Jaemin definitely said something and messed with his head. Because when your thighs are sweaty and shaking against him again when you erupt in cum squirting he still doesn't stop gaping at your whole with his steel like dick.

You wanted to make this a special kiss, make every touch from him be as one that you'd crave, because you didn't want to think of Jaemin. You scream when the fourth orgasm comes and Jaehyun doesn't stop.

"Jaehyun stop!" You cry out holding onto his shoulders. "It hurts!"

Jaehyun's head snaps to yours immediately stopping Jaemin's thoughts from his head when he sees you crying and panting with your pulse pounding in your veins. He looks into your eyes. You look back into his, shell shocked like he just dropped a bomb in the center of the room. Neither of you say anything as you stare intensely into each other’s eyes. Yours with tears and his with much distress.

Jaehyun's thoughts are foggy when watching the cum pool from your cunt and onto his hard dick. He's instantly up on his feet- his member as hard as a rock and your legs trembling with your pussy egging out and dripping in cum.

You can only hold in your tears and stare up into his eyes filled with horror. You try to collect your legs but they're straining in pain from how Jaehyun turned rogue. He doesn't look into your eyes again as he turns to the washroom and locks himself inside.

Another type of guilt sips into him. He turns on the cold water and removes his clothes getting inside groaning out by the coldness of the little droplets of the ice cold water the moment it touches his dick. What the hell did he just do?

Meanwhile, you're swarmed in guilt for perhaps pushing him too far. What was that? Regardless after composing yourself and the pain in you lower abdomen and legs are manageable, you clean yourself up with some wipes that are on your bed side and you ignore that you have no bra on or shirt when you work around your room.

You remove the bedsheets that are stained with your pools of sticky cum and you go into the laundry room a few doors down and place the sheets into the washer leaving it to wash. You also remove your thong tossing it inside and are now left naked and guilty.

Upon returning to your room you still hear the shower go on. You put on your silk night dress and get out a new set of layers of sheets and tuck them on the bed, before getting on it and resting your body down. You close your eyes and sigh out.

“No more promises,” Your eyes snap open by the whisper in your ear. You realize you fell asleep and the room is now in darkness. A pair of arms are on you and you know it's Jaehyun as he sips his warmth into you. He continues to whisper. “From now on, drop by whenever you want. Send me messages whenever. I’ll always answer. Stay with me at the office longer, tell me to come home immediately when you need me, pressure me to leave everything behind for you- because I’m telling you the truth when I say I’m here now. I won’t leave you alone ever again. I won't let you be lonely. I know I’ve been an absent husband to you, but I can promise… No promises, so I'll make sure to get it right this time. C-can you forgive me?”

You lay your head back on his chest closing your eyes. You cling onto his arms around you tightly.

"I'm sorry for tonight… I was out of it. I'm sorry I didn't mean to hurt you."

You quietly breath out and nod your head.

Jaehyun wants you to say something, you don’t speak at all. He sinks down when remembering your words. "You're not a distraction to me honey. You’re my wife, I shouldn't have ignored your desires."

“Jae, it’s okay.” You hum out lightly. “You’ve got work in a few hours. You need to rest.”

•

"Sir it's 12 o'clock, you've got an appointment with the factory production manager at 12h45."

Jaehyun snaps out of his thoughts when glancing up to his secretary Chae-won who stands by the door.

"If you leave now you'll reach there in about 30 minutes."

"Are they already finished making the test samples?" He asks quietly going over the papers on his desk wondering why he's not focused- they did tell him that they'd be finish before the afternoon. Everything on his table looks like a blur of work and he clears his throat feeling uncomfortable by his unkempt desk and non-professional like behavior. He gets up and searches around his desk. "Where are they?"

"Sir are you looking for the factory documents?" Chae-won asks finding it strange how Jaehyun is so out of it. "You gave Mr Na Jaemin the documents to be processed this morning." She looks to her watch just as Jaehyun remembers his faint discussion with Jaemin. "He should be here by… There he is."

Jaehyun picks up his phone and tells his driver to get ready for him downstairs. "Chae-won stay here for today. I think my wife might come in. If she doesn't come just stay in my office until I get back. Oh yes, in case she comes before I’m back, there are some roses I bought this morning on the couch with a card. If you could hand it to her and make her feel comfortable, I’d be glad." The little smile on Jaehyun’s face comes out naturally when talking about you, that his heart hurts all over again thinking about how he went overboard and your silent treatment to him. “I’ll be going now.”

"Yes sir." Chae-won watches Jaehyun walk out his office with nothing but his phone. Jaemin stops with a smile and then follows Jaehyun towards the elevators.

-

Chae-won prior to what Jaehyun said is seated in her office typing out the rest of Jaehyun’s completed task on the company portal. Focused on her work not bothered by anything else, she’s alert a little when her desk phone rings. Picking up the call, she waits for the caller. “Ma’am, there’s a lady here claiming to be Mr Jung’s wife.”

Hearing the words Chae-won’s eyes marvel. “Oh, yes send her up.”

“Are you sure?”

“Mr Jung informed me of her presence himself, yes send her up.” Chae-won ends up cutting the call seemingly finding herself getting excited. She quickly gets up and fixes her attire making sure she looks presentable. Fixing the perm on her hair she quickly walks into Jaehyun’s office, walking through the large space and going down some steps before reaching to the little set area where there are four large couches and a table in the center with the view being the city being displayed by the top to bottom glass wall.

Her eyes marvel at the little set up when noticing that Jaehyun prepared for his wife’s arrival. She picks up the bouquet of white and pink roses wrapped in a beautiful black drape with card multiple of hand written cards, she walks out his office and makes her way to the elevators. She waits and prepares her best smile. When Taeyong spoke about Jaehyun’s wife he had such high admiration for her and words filled with love that Chae-won was jealous at how Taeyong seemed to talk about Jaehyun’s wife for an entire car ride. Not only Taeyong, but her own boss is head over hills for her. From the little that she’s seen, Jaehyun is easily flattered by his wife not only by phone calls, but also at the mention of her name. So of course she has no high expectations but she wants to see the lady that’s captured her boss’s heart. The lady who made the little ‘holiday’ possible for the entire company.

Meanwhile, downstairs when waiting for the elevator you’re enchanted by how everything in Jaehyun’s whole company has changed. The last time you were in the company, it only had 20 floors- but now it’s stacked up high with 40 floors. The exterior of the whole company is designed in such a sophisticated and elegant black view with the logo of a perfume bottle being the main visual. The interior is even more jaw dropping that you get lost just upon entering. “Wow,” Not only is the renovation impressive with cyberpunk aesthetics and classy modern day color themes of black and white, brown and white, grey and white, silver and white, blue and white, but the dress code and fashion of the workers and people in the company is to die for. All the colors and proud workers walking around make you feel intimidated. They walk with poise and stern confidence, they’re dressed in elegant colors, all the ladies in heels and tight fitting work attires, all the guys in suit pants of dark colors and buttoned up shirts or even blazers and shirts. It’s absolutely stunning to see how much has changed, you last remembered everyone wearing jeans and a simple theme of blue was the highlight of everything, however now, everything is classy.

Jaehyun really did this? At this point, you believe that even if Haera had to bad mouth Jaehyun, you wouldn’t believe it. Because really, he’s been working at his hardest.

The front desk lady tells you to press the last floor to head straight to Jaehyun’s office floor. Getting in one of the transparent elevators by choice, your eyes are large in astonishment and awe that you don’t mind the people that enter and leave the elevator. You’re confused though when you notice that the elevator stops at the fifth floor- the fifth being the last on this elevator. Upon getting out, you look around to the fifth floor which is almost like a garden as it’s plastered in such green serene vegetation. Of course it’s barricaded by large glass walls that encase the indoor garden with sun radiation lights and sprinkles of rain water from above. Not wanting to waste time, you pick up your basket and walk closer to the walls trying to find another elevator.

Your ears perk upon hearing your name being called, but you remain frozen in spot when you know exactly who’s calling you. You ignore the voice and continue walking hoping to get far without an encounter from the-

“Hey,” You feel your wrist being held forcing you to turn and face Jaemin. “What’re doing here?”

His face brightens up when seeing you, that his thumb on your wrist begins to carefully caress your hand. You pull your hand out gently and tuck your hair before clearing your throat, focusing more on your hands then his face. “I’m here to see my husband. If you don’t mind,” You promptly walk passed him taking slightly bigger strides.

“What’s with the attitude?” Jaemin charismatically scoffs before gripping your hand again and pulling you towards him. You stop yourself from colliding into his body by placing your hand on his bare chest…well his shirt is unbuttoned revealing just a piece of his crafted chest. You clear your throat

“Jaemin get out of my way please,” You hold your ground strongly giving him one serious stare.

“I don’t want to,” Jaemin playfully chimes.

“I’m not here for you,” You try backing up, but he steps closer holding onto your wrist tightly.

The pleasantly playful smile doesn’t leave his lips as his eyes are fixed on yours. “What’s got your panty in a twist? Are you pissed off? Do you want some relief?”

“Fuck, Jaemin.” Your eyes snap up to his as you shush him by placing your finger over his mouth getting upset. “Can you not do that here? Please.” You beg in frustration through your teeth.

Jaemin, not hearing a damn word you say, holds onto your finger that’s on his lips and kisses it. “Why’re you so mad? Did something happen?” His eyes go over your black fitting pants and large black buttoned shirt. “Are you really here for your husband?”

You break out of his grip stepping back in annoyance. “Yes.”

“Okay,” He smiles and places his hands in his pocket. “Where are you headed? To his office?”

“Yes.”

“I’ll take you there,”

Instead of using the glass elevator you’re led to a row set of elevators. Jaemin looks behind to make sure that you’re following behind him. Upon reaching the 4th elevator that opens up Jaemin’s fingers double taps on the 40th floor. Once the doors close, you keep to yourself, your eyes on the number board above counting up as you go up each floor.

“You brought him lunch?”

You nod your head not turning to him.

Jaemin looks into the basket again noticing you brought a bunch of treats and packet sized lunch. “Damn, he eats a lot doesn’t he?”

You ignore him, internally sighing that the elevator is going fast but is still around the 10th floors. “How long till we get to the 40th floor?”

Jaemin chuckles. “An hour.”

You pray that he’s joking, but nonetheless you don’t engage in his sarcastic comments.

“I’m finding it hard you came here for him. I think, after finding out I work here you came to see with your own eyes,” Jaemin mumbles out again, you can hear him getting off his corner and moving softly towards you. You don’t budge, even though you really want to. You remain in place when he gets in front of you and pats your head. “I could be tooting my own horn, but I’ve never really seen you here before. Mm, you smell good. Now it makes sense why you always smelt like the boss. You use his perfumes don’t you.”

20th floor. You internally groan.

“I guess I should be thanking you for the free meal. The chef Moon Taeil, allowed us to eat for free,” Jaemin whispers with a low smile, before his smile disappears. “Why’re you so upset? Did you piss off your husband? Is that why you’re here, to make up?”

You shake your head but stop mid-way and face him. “Actually, now that you’re on the topic. What the hell did you tell Jaehyun yesterday?”

Jaemin thinks for a second, a smile growing on his face. “What do you mean?”

“He wasn’t himself when we got home.” You barely go further in explanation but Jaemin reads your face.

“What, the sex wasn’t good?” He asks out of a hunch. “If anything, I didn’t tell him how to satisfy you- so you can’t blame me if he was bad at pleasing you. Did he fuck you the wrong way-”

“Shut up.” You roll your eyes. “Now tell me, what did you say to him?”

Jaemin’s hand reaches for your waist and by an instant, he gets both his hands on your waist spinning you around and lightly backs you up against the elevator. Your eyes widen wide as your basket drops from your hand. He smiles when he has you trapped in him. With his strong grip on your wrist, his other hand pins both your hands above your head leaning down with a smirk as he kisses your neck. “What the hell Jaemin-”

“You’re stressed and I’m trying to make you feel good- I can make you feel better then him. Even after giving him a hint that you like it rough, he still makes you so tight?”

Gathering your pent up frustrated strength- you push on him with all your might and glare at him. “Don’t touch me.” You blurt out through clinched teeth. “Just because you and I fucked doesn’t mean that you’re suddenly my husband. How dare you? You’re just a man I had sex with while my husband was away, stop acting as though you’re mine. You are nothing to me other than my best friend's husband. Know your place.” You warn.

In all your out bursts Jaemin's solely lifts up his eyebrow with a stern face. "Is that so?" His head tilts to the side as he loses his smirk and his tongue pokes against his cheek. "You’re right, I'm just the husband to your best friend." As if not believing your words he replays the whole conversation in his head before he clinching his jaw. "Okay." He sighs out and adjusts his clothes and stands back into his corner, his eyes going away completely from you and to the elevator wall.

The rest of the elevator ride is silent. If you knew it'd take putting your foot down to get him to shut up then you would've put your foot down a long time ago. You don't say anything and he doesn't say anything, he retreats to the side and faces the elevator door now watching the floors, you pick up your basket and try to calm down from your heated anger.

It takes a really long while, but once the floor reaches the 40th floor you find yourself praising the heavens. The door opens and Jaemin stretches his hand out. You don't look at him but step out minding your own business. Your own business being met with a lady in a black beautiful knee dress holding a bouquet of white and pink roses. A smile lights itself on your face when an instant memory comes to your mind.

The white and pink roses reminding you of the day you got married. The theme was cream and a faded pink. Back then Jaehyun wasn't as heavily pocket rich and barely had enough to host an entire wedding, but you made ends meet by getting a really charming wedding planner who made everything work. Everything was plastic, second hand and fake, yet it all came out to beautifully. Nobody could tell the difference except you, the wedding planner and Jaehyun.

The most memorable part of your wedding night were the rare type of roses. Jaehyun had picked them out and on each and every rose stem he wrote such pure and heartfelt words that made you cry.

So seeing the roses again, you're reminded of all his wonderful messages. Come to think of it, everything he mentioned in the cards come to life, not only the prosperity and riches but how his feelings never changed from you. He's still so hell bent on pleasing you.

Taking in the flowers with such warm and loving hands, you coo and giggle as though the bouquet is a little child. "It's so beautiful," You hum out in bliss and turn to greet the lady before you.

"Good day ma'am. My name is Chae-won. I'm Mr Jung Jaehyun's secretary. He apologized for his late coming, however he did say that you should make yourself comfortable. If you can please follow me here," Chae-won bows her head before leading you along the corridor into office- all the while as her brain works at rapid speed to try and match your face to someone she's met before. She swears she's seen you before, but where…

Getting in the office, you can't stop staring and being so impressed by every little inch and detail of architectural work as well as the placement and digest of each ornament. Not to mention how spectacular the view is.

"He's such a dummy." You smile sadly. "Now, I'll definitely feel like I'm disturbing him. Where is he by the way?"

And that's how she manages to get a whiff and look at you. It's when you look down with a sad smile does she remember a lunch break she had with Mark -who invited two strangers to eat with. You're the lady who has a CEO husband who cheats on you! Her eyes widen and she covers her mouth. As she's about to defend her boss, her mouth completely seizes when remembering how Jaemin had his hand underneath the table somehow pleasing you.

Your reactions.

She can't forget your face and how you looked. Erotically pleased. You were almost squirming in your seat the same way she squirms when Taeyong touches her in his car. You could barely speak, you kept your head down biting your lip as you flinched in your seat from time to time letting out low sounds- Chae-won remembers how disgusted she was because you were seemingly doing it in public with your best friend’s husband, with no shame.

However, upon looking at you, you look daring and fierce yet so fragile and innocent like you’d never ever take advantage of Jaehyun’s kindness. If Chae-won had seen Jaehyun perhaps when he was in his chubby youth days then perhaps she would say that you looked out of his league- but, knowing what she knows now about how you and Jaemin could’ve been entangled in something she feels almost disappointed in you.

You on the other hand can’t read minds, but you watch as her face falls from happiness to shock to confusion all together being dissatisfied. She shakes her head and clears her throat. “Uhm, Mr Jung said you could lounge here until he got back. He’s gone to the factory producers to smell some test sample scents. Hopefully he should be back around 2pm.”

You nod your head looking at the clock on the wall. “It’s quarter to, so that should be soon enough. I should probably open these,”

You turn around and squat down by the table level begin to unpack the basket filled with different types of snacks. Seeing as you’re working, Chae-won notes to herself that she never sees Jaehyun eating when he’s at work.

“So, what does he normally eat when here?” You ask. “I warned him about his blood pressure and salt and he tells me he just drinks his protein shakes.”

“To be honest,” Chae-won folds her arms not wanting to talk about Jaehyun to you who is a cheater. But knowing that she has no say or right to make such accusations she speaks. “I’ve never seen Mr Jung eat or drink anything. He’s practically working on his desk all day, all afternoon, all night. He only gets up to stretch his legs or use his personal washroom or ever make phone calls. But I’ve never really seen him eat,”

Your eyes widen and you turn your head back to Chae-won in shock- who points to the frequent places that Jaehyun is at. When she points to her office that’s in another room, the glass wall show that if he moved off his desk to a certain spot she’d be able to see everything he’s doing in there. You shake your head.

“Can I ask you something Mrs Jung,” You get flustered by that name but still hum out, still setting up the table of different meals and the treats you know he likes. “Does he eat when he gets home?”

You breathe in and nod your head. “I make sure to prepare a big meal for him when he gets back.” You shrug your shoulders. “Of course I’m always asleep when he gets back home, but I leave his food in the microwave covered in bowls. I know he eats them all because he never leaves a single bowl full- he finishes everything and washes his plates after.”

“You sleep when he gets back?”

Feeling judged, you take a seat on the chair next to the secretary and look out to the view of the city that’s heavily adorned by towers of different shapes and sizes and lengths and logo’s all being so radiant. “I used to wait up for him…in the living room or my room. But me being the heavy sleeper I am, I’d always wake up when the sun would be up again, but instead of being in the living room where I last slept, I always find myself in our room. Sometimes I find that I’m changed and covered in the blanket. So I sleep in the living room and find myself in our room. At some point he gave me the green light to just sleep and not wait up for him because he joked that I’m heavy when going up the stairs,”

“Oh that’s cute,” Chae-won laughs a little and you smile. Judging by the size of your house she can imagine how long the stairs are. Not only does he finish late, but he’s probably starving and sees his wife passed out on the couch. “If you ask me, I never knew Mr Jung had a soft spot. He was always my highly intellectual superior boss, one wrong move and he’d threaten to demote me. But after that day where he finished early to get back home to his wife, you, I started seeing him differently. Almost like a family man,”

Chae-won’s words make you stop for a second as you try to think of when he’s come home early- you visibly freeze in your seat remembering that it was the first encounter with Jaemin. You shake your head and gulp going back to organizing the table while Chae-won talks about how amazing Jaehyun is. About how focused he is, how he’s a perfectionist and wants nothing less than perfect. You’re even shocked when Chae-won mentions that he’s never smiles in the work place, and that the only time she’s seen him smile was when talking about you.

That even makes you feel all the worse about what you’ve done behind his back. Sitting down on the long couch keeping you company, Chae-won watches as you set out all the little foodie items before assisting you in making it look presentable. You're very sharp and detailed orientated. She's kind of jealous of how you look and how you emit such radiant energy….but behind closed doors you’re a cheater. Hearing her work telephone ring, she snaps back and stands. “I should get back to work, I’m sure Mr Jung will be back.”

“No problem, I’ll wait here for him,” You smile nervously. “I hope he won’t be mad,”

Chae-won shakes her head with an honest gleam in her eyes. Aside from your dirty habit with Jaemin, you did look like you loved and appreciated the man you love- it’s what Chae-won sees. “Trust me, today he was really spaced out and simply looking out the window. I think he’s really motivated to have you here,”

“You’re so kind,” You bow your head and quickly pick up a little sealed bag with some pastry that you baked this morning and present it to here. “Here, have this. For your hard work and assisting him. Thank you very much.”

Feeling touched by your generosity and kindness Chae-won accepts the little bag and smiles. “Thank you Mrs Jung,” It’s not long before she walks up the few steps and walks towards the door.

She wants to say one more thing, but looking through the glass door she notes the elevator door opening up and seeing Jaehyun walk out all poised and stern with Johnny and Taeyong walking beside him. Shoot. She breathes out and quickly looks back to you, hoping to get one more saying in- before she attends to her boss and his guests.

"One more thing Mrs Jung." Chae-won turns her head to look at you. "I know it’s not my place to say this but… Please don't believe your friend and everything she says about Jaehyun. He's never once cheated and I can testify on that. So, with all respect, I ask on his behalf, that you stop fooling around his back. He’s a good man. He doesn’t deserve you screwing behind his back." Chae-won's words are final and sharp, yet her stare is empathetic leaving you feeling as though a ton of bricks has fell on you.

You don’t react but simply stand still and watch her walk out. How did she know?

You can't even be in shock when a few seconds later the door is opened up and in walks your husband- whom you feel so guilty towards- and two-

"Y/n?" That's Taeyong, who's eyes blossom at the sight of you. "You're still banging like this? How have you been?" Taeyong with smiles makes his way towards you just as Jaehyun grips the back of Taeyong's blazer pulling him back.

"Goodbye Taeyong." Jaehyun can't even contain the excitement he's feeling when seeing you that he clears his throat to compose his serious face when looking at Johnny. "I think you can go ahead in the negotiation room with Taeyong. Make sure they don't accept the proposal to start investments. I can't have Mr Zhong win the bidding wars."

"Wait but what if they bring the money in cash-"

"Then bid higher." Jaehyun, still holding onto Taeyong's blazer tightly so that he can't escape, now begins to push Johnny out his office. "You know the drill."

"We know the drill, but the question is how much is the limit. It's reckless throwing all that money to a project that hasn't yet began," Taeyong comments.

You find it comical how Jaehyun frustratingly attempts to get the two out but they stand firm and question him. "Why do I have to be the brains of everything? Why the hell do you think I said you should make sure that no one in the high up committee should accept the proposal? Find loop holes in the project, pick on everything that looks remotely close to suspicion-"

"You know that's not even remotely close to our assigned positions. We're not good at picking holes with the higher up- that's your job." Taeyong deadpans before folding his arms. "Wait, are you leaving us two alone in that meeting? You fucking can't be serious, Mr Zhong and those Chinese and Japanese bidders always come fucking prepared to devour us-"

"Not only that, have you seen the launch of committee members? Sir you seriously can't leave us," Johnny looks stunned. "You're leaving the fate of this company in our hands? I mean I'm good at settling the scores between outside companies, but against Mr Zhong and his team? Sir sending us alone will be sending your company into the hands of the Chinese and Japanese."

"Exactly!" Taeyong agrees.

"Your heads will be on the chopping block if Mr Zhong so lays a hand on my company. I'll fire everyone in your-"

"With all due respect sir, but this fate is best left in your hands. You know Mr Zhong won't wait to tear us limb from limb, we practically sent him off the market with our recent new releases. He's not coming to play this time."

Jaehyun runs his hands through his hair and groans and peeks at you for a second. The look in his eyes says it all, he wants to be with you. But hearing the debate going on between the guy Johnny and Taeyong, you know it's really serious. "Babe, why don't you go with them? I'll still be here when you come back,"

That brightens up his mood when he mutters out apologetically. "Really?"

Johnny is stunned by the change of demeanor his boss has, from cold to soft in a matter of seconds. "Oh shit. Were we being cock blocks for you-"

"No, it's okay," You immediately assure and smile at them. "Uhm-"

"Wait outside." Jaehyun's voice is stern and seriously directed at the two men. "Now."

Taeyong smirks and chuckles lightly before winking at you. "It's a pleasure seeing you. You haven't aged a day since college. You still take my breath away-"

"Get out." Taeyong jumps a little by Jaehyun's words and laughs a little while walking out.

"We've barely got 5 minutes so make it quick." Taeyong winks and walks out with Johnny, who smiles in your direction before following Taeyong.

Jaehyun shakes his head passing one last irritated look at Taeyong before turning to you. Despite his smile being small, it still reaches his eyes and he almost gets shy when drawing closer to you. Standing right in front of you having his eyes being captivated by your beauty he slightly bends down to give your lips a light peck. “I was thinking you weren’t gonna come,”

You smile shyly and take a step closer just as his hands wrap around your waist to bring you closer to him. “It felt right coming to see you. I mean, I might not come next time because it’s evident that you’re working, but I’ll make sure to drop by occasionally. Especially if I miss you,” Your words fade to a whisper when you lean in and plant a kiss on his lips while holding onto his chest. “You should eat before going into your meeting, I heard you barely eat when you’re working.”

“Eat?” He smiles lightly peeking his head behind you to get a look at the table. “You really came prepared to spend time with me,”

“Come on,” You lead him to the presentable meal and you take a seat right next to him. “Oh yeah, I love the new construction you’ve placed around the building, they really stand out.”

Jaehyun rolls his sleeves up with a smirk as he picks up the chopsticks. “Modifications were needed at the time, and I didn’t want to purchase a new building and relocate, or even design and construct a new building because essentially this place is perfect in the economy, it’s literally close to the center. Besides, constructing a new building would mean consulting an architect, planning for designs and drawings, a lot of costs would need to be done from materials to be used to cement- not to mention it would be tough looking for any type of land without being too far from the busy city life and on top of that documentation takes a really long time, and getting it approved takes even longer. So enhancing and reforming the building suited my thinking back then. It would be a waste to sell this building and start from scratch, so might as well adjust it.” He plucks a crispy shrimp in his mouth and smiles at me. “It’s delicious, say ah,”

You open my mouth as he dips the fresh shrimp inside some sauce and places it inside your mouth.

Spending the little amount of time with Jaehyun feels really satisfying with your heart being content by how nothing seems awkward after the previous night. In fact, everything is going smooth with Jaehyun talking and leading the conversation engaging in how he wants you to broaden your business and make it more versatile and within an office block instead of virtual and online and at home. The way he’s talking, only brings you back to the days of how you’d admire him when he spoke.

He is undeniably an intelligent man, with a preserved mind. He takes care of all your needs with integrity and wisdom. He loves you so much and it’s evident in the way he talks to you and how he wants you to perform more and achieve your own goals. He even almost dumbs himself down to speak to you. Not that you’re dumb, but after hearing his business thoughts, you can’t help but wonder how much of an intellectual man he is outside of talking to you. He’s influential and has all the right rights in place…so how could you have possibly thought about cheating when he cares so much for?

You’re so overwhelmed with emotions that when he takes the last bites of the rice cake, your hand lays on his firm thigh getting his attention. “I just, want to let you know that I love you. I know I said a lot of things last night, but all that matters is that you matter to me. It still feels like we’re in our honeymoon phase, but really I still love you so much and love how you always think of me,” Your heart beats fast when there’s clarity and peace washing over his eyes. Unlike your guilty eyes, Jaehyun is imbedded into you.

“I love you more,” Jaehyun leans in and you hold the side of his face as you both dive in for a kiss. It’s supposed to be simple, yet Jaehyun doesn't stop kissing you and easily causes you to lower your body with his hand guiding you down onto the couch. You moan into the kiss tilting your head when he adjusts himself in his position getting you to open your legs and guide them around him.

"Babe, you have to go," You mutter in the kiss rubbing his shoulders calming down from the kiss. You sense a pair of eyes on you, but you try not to mind it only focusing your eyes on Jaehyun’s hair as he now has his head against your shoulder flattering little kisses.

"Just a little bit more."

You giggle when he switches your position getting you off the couch and onto his lap. He spreads his legs having his hands politely moving over your hips while you sit on him. "We're being watched Jae," You breathe out in his ear moaning when his hands squeeze your butt in his grasp. His tongue circling around a certain spot on your neck which he’s marked. You’re on edge when his teeth sink and giving you a hickey. Closing your eyes and controlling your breathing as he sucks your neck off as well as continuously groping your ass. While mounting you closer onto his manhood.

Unconsciously your hands run down his neck unbuttoning his shirt and unfastening his tie. It motivates him to ride his hands against your torso and going to your shoulders to easily unbutton the first few buttons and pull down your shirt and the strings of your bra, giving his hands something to grope on. He pants out when having his eyes fixed on your full chest, his hands probing tightly. You grin when he sinks his head in between your breasts rubbing his face on them. His fingers gently unbuttoning your shirt. You take it upon yourself to plant your hands on his shoulders as you rake yourself on his heavy poking bulge.

“Do you wanna make a baby with me?”

You’re stunned by the muffled question, but not entirely surprised… okay, no, you’re surprised. “Baby? As in infant depending on both parents to be present in its time of living? You wanna make a baby with me?” Your grinding becomes faster as you practically dry hump him feeling his member having its own heartbeat and poking uncontrollably. “Fuck Jae,” You moan throwing your head back.

A light buzz catches you off guard making you bounce in jitter on Jaehyun- earning a moan from him, with him bucking his hips up once in your core.

“I’m sorry sir to intrude.” The voice of his secretary plays on the little intercom on his table, causing your head to rise seeing past the glass wall. She’s looking back at you- but upon making the eye contact she’s quick in snapping her head in the other direction. “Mm, Mr Zhong and his team are in the meeting room, it’s been more than 10 minutes sir. Mr Suh-”

“Stay,” Jaehyun stops slightly and tilts his head to the side watching you with a smile, ignoring the voice that still speaks on the intercom as he continues to rub his face on your boobs while his hands travel to your ass rocking you against his boat. “Please stay,”

"What?" You hum getting your eyes on him running your hand across his cheek following the lead of his hands as he controls your movements against his shaft.

"Stay until I get back,” He says again laughing by how mind fucked you looked. “I’m not even in you and you’re already losing your mind?”

“Sir?”

Jaehyun’s eyes are quick when turning sharp, looking annoyed making you giggle a little. He tries to force himself to stop rocking you against himself, but it’s so hard when he feels his edge coming on- but it’s still far. “Jae,” You snap him out of his thoughts. “We can continue when you get back,”

“Or,” His member twitches. “We could do it now,”

“We can’t, your secretary-”

“In the elevator as it’s going down,” He mutters. “No one’s gonna know,”

Your ears hear him and recall how he mentioned how slow the elevator is while going down. But you shake your head, knowing his dick is the one thinking right now. “Baby,” You get off him standing up and fixing up the buttons. “Come on,” Upon buttoning up your shirt, your eyes watch Jaehyun trying to catch his breath while his member is firmly poking his pants making a tent form. When finishing buttoning up your shirt, you turn around and stride towards his door. You don’t even turn around when Jaehyun questions.

“Wait you’re serious?” He catches on and quickly gets up adjusting his clothes and following. You wish you were serious, but knowing him, he won’t be focused when he’s in that meeting if you two had to get it on in the elevator. At least with a hard on, he’d be focused at the meeting. Is your sick thought. So your plan is just to lead him to the elevator.

“Take whatever you need for the meeting, hurry up you’re going to be late.” You quickly open the door and begin walking watching him scramble on his desk for the things he needs. Before you can march to the elevator you notice the secretary waving her hand from her office. You head to the secretary’s office. You notice she’s on the phone, but when she sees you she presses the phone to her shoulder clearing her throat.

“It’s urgent Mr Jung gets there now, Mr Suh says the bidders want to leave and won’t wait for Mr Jung to waste their time.” She places the phone back down on its hook and gets her journal and starts walking out.

You turn back and see Jaehyun looking over a file, before you follow her. “Uh, are you also going with him?”

“Yes.”

“Good, because he’s not thinking straight right now.” You mention when she presses a button and the doors automatically open up.

She snickers a little. “I’ve never seen him like this,” When getting in, you both turn back seeing him with wide confused eyes looking at Chae-won and then to you.

“It’s good you’re going with him, he’ll be in shape.” You turn your head back to him and pat his chest. “Good luck okay,” You stand on your tippy toes kissing his fazed lips.

“You tricked me.” He mutters when you gently push his stiff body in the elevator and Chae-won closes the elevator doors.

You try not to laugh at his annoyed face, but once the doors shut you can’t help the little cackle that leaves your lips. Meanwhile Jaehyun in the elevator huffs and pokes his tongue against his cheek when feeling an irritating poking from his member. He doesn’t even bother to cover up his poking bulge as his mind tries to gather his thoughts into the right place.

Chae-won’s cheeks are red from spotting the visible bulge. As soon at the elevator opens up moments later to the floor their supposed to be in- Chae-won walks ahead of Jaehyun and enters the meeting room first leaving the door open for Jaehyun knowing all too well that he will be in no mood to mess around. He grumpily walks alarming the male faces on the rectangular table. Despite him being late, no one on the table looks like they’ll complain as they get up politely bowing to him even though he doesn’t acknowledge them. “Shall we begin.”

.

It evident that things have changed between you and Jaehyun ever since you’ve had that talk. Dedicated and diligently keeping to his word, Jaehyun comes back home much earlier than before. Whereas back then he came back home around midnight sometimes 3pm, these days he’s back by 6h30pm and latest being 7pm. As he keeps to his word and arrives home much earlier than before, you try not to slack off on your end by committing to your work (since he also offered his assistance) and brand as a business.

His proposal was to serve as a guidance to help shape and form your business. At first you weren’t that interested in developing more into your business, however upon engaging into another conversation (which seemed more like a negotiation), he encouraged you that working would keep you less ‘bored’. He made references to how being active and working would make you sharp, on your feet, you’d have sunlight contact and you’d actually talk more to people instead of being alone. As your business revolved around photography and selling your pictures, Jaehyun mentioned you could make your offer more of a service and take photography into another level.

You admit that after hearing Jaehyun, you realized that you were very lazy. He didn’t say it out loud, but you could tell where he was going. He worked out a brainstorming project whereby he analyzed his way around your ideas (ideas you used to have in college), he made the sacrifice to knock off early and get home to help you – all in the name to get you kick started on working again.

You put in the effort to work mainly due to the reason that he wouldn’t stop saying: “You mean to tell me that you’ve got a degree yet you aren’t utilizing it to its full capacity because I’m the sole provider? You stay home for hours on end and sulk around because I’m not home, and mope around because you’re lonely, but then you’re not really doing anything to pass the time? You aren’t doing anything productive except loom over my absence? They are 24 hours in a day and you barely do anything except cook, clean and lament? Really Y/n? Could you waste any more time?”

Of course that caused some arguments to pop up here and there, but as the weeks passed and you began actually being productive instead of being a “housewife”, new problems came along.

Firstly, with the assistance of Jaehyun, you sought out a business plan, marketing plan, service plan and all the other plans. As you were pretty good with advertising your work online (on your blog), you kept rising the hype for your mini pop up store. You managed to secure a decent modernly vintage yet aesthetically pleasing place which would be transformed into the likeliness and hopes of being your business’s spot. As soon as you bought the space and building for your business store, you knew that you wouldn’t be resting as much as you wanted.

You tried to step up your game levels when it came to making a lot of the important decisions about your business because as you soon came to understand that you disliked (sometimes hated) that Jaehyun involved himself in too deeply. So you made sure that before 6pm everything that was on your bucket list had been ticked off, so that when Jaehyun would come back home, he didn’t have to help you that much.

It irritated you that he didn’t even know your vision that well and would place his ideologies here and there. So you had to step up tremendously, and even if Jaehyun didn’t say it out loud he was/is proud that you’ve been working hard. At least you got a taste of what it’s like to be preoccupied with work so much that you actually begin to appreciate someone busting their ass for their ungrateful self. But mostly, he was satisfied that he didn’t find you relaxing and sitting around whenever he came home.

He liked movement.

And soon enough, your home somehow become lively with you moving around. At some point you were actually not that bothered by the fact that you spent less time with Jaehyun. You moved from your production room into his office to ask about some accounting balance checkups, you’d prepare food for him and then go back to your little production room and never went to him again.

Because at times you needed a break from him. He was annoying to be around when all he spoke about was work.

“I’m telling you, when he’s on work mode, he’s on work mode. And when he’s not, he’s focused on me like a guard dog asking me what I did, what progress I made, where I need help, how I can improve, bluh bluh. I’ve just began realizing that I kinda missed it when he wasn’t home,” You stress to Haera who’s laughing at your misery, while she helps you unbox your kit. Your mini pop up store was looking good and pleasant with its minimum style, yet enticing and eye catching work, but there still needed to be work done. “Like majority of the days, he’s not so stressful to deal with. He comes home, we eat and we spend some quality time together without talking about work. But other days, he comes back home stressed and passes his stress onto me,”

Haera busts out laughing and she’s failing to hold in her breath while you carry on talking.

“Just yesterday, when he got home, he asked where the food was. I told him I’m still working, but I’ll get it done as soon as I’m done working. I thought he’d wait, but man goes into the kitchen and fixes his own food, and he gets angry. But I wasn’t about to have him mad at him, and then we sleep being angry, so I tell him that the next time he comes home and he’s hungry and he sees that there’s no food, he should know that I’m also working and that I’m tired too.”

“What did he say to that?” Haera calms down, wiping on her tears. “Man, you’re now starting to sound like a normal married woman who’s got a husband that’s always present,”

You ignore her and continue talking. “He didn’t even say anything, he ignored me. And I still had to make my own food, because he didn’t make any food for me.”

“Trouble in paradise,” Haera shakes her head, when she’s done packing the box and moves onto another box. She gets out of the way, of the men carrying a shelf made of glasses.

“Where should we put this?” You turn your head and give the men instructions of where you want to the sets of customized shelves to be placed.

Getting back to your station, Haera speaks up again. “So, that’s what was on your chest. Anything else?”

You sigh and organize your photo’s on the table. “Not really, I’m just tired. I’ve been really invested in getting this load done and out the way.”

She nods her head. “It’s coming in clean and I can’t wait for the launch. You said you’ve made the announcement right? How many tickets have been sold?”

“I was honestly surprised at the amount of tickets that were sold within the first day,” You marvel with in enthusiasm. “I’ve always known that I’ve had a handful of people who view my work, as well as a number of people who buy my actual work. However, combined I didn’t think I had over 150 people. To be honest, I memorize my clients and even though others have bought once, I still memorize them. So it’s honestly shocking that the online sales went up to 250 sales.” You shake your head in delight. “According to Jaehyun, he said I should prepare for at least 200 guests, but honestly I don’t even think the 150 people will actually show up, so to keep it fair I’ll get set catering for 100, and if more people come they’ll just stand.”

“Don’t down yourself like that babes,” Haera laughs. “You know your shit when it comes to photography, your pieces are all I have hanged up on my wall. Besides, you should listen to your husband, because if you say he’s been helping you out with marketing, what are the odds that he prompted your name to some of his business associates looking for a photographer?”

“I’m a stock photographer encompassing skills in advertising as well as production.” You state while finishing with the last box and stare at her. “Jae, well he thinks I’m a nude and erotic photographer,”

“How come?” Haera snickers lightly coming closer to assist you.

You shrug your shoulders giving her another tired look. “A lot of the aesthetic shots I take I sell them off to influencers to post on their social media feeds. If I want, I accept to shoot staged photos of products so that businesses can use them on their websites and such. My money comes from the advertising industry, where I show products off in the most appealing way possible for the target audience. This includes a combination of flat-lay product shots and photos of people using the product in the intended way. However, my dear husband only sees the erotic photography’s I’ve recently taken. He acknowledges them as a lucrative beneficial type of photography, and says it’s certainly a niche market for boudoir or bedroom photography. I don’t think he’d promote my work to his business associates,”

Haera can only chuckle. “You sound like you’re starting to distaste your husband,”

“It’s not that I’m starting to dislike him, it’s just,” You shrug your shoulders huffing out. You don’t exactly know why you’re so irked by him these days, all you know is that it’s irritating when all you talk about with him is business. “I just miss us talking about everything else except work.”

“Well,” Haera suggests while leaning in your ear to whisper out. “How’s the bedroom talk?”

You shake your head. “What bedroom talk?”

“You know, a little manaconda entering your-”

“Honestly, I’ve been too preoccupied on work to focus on that.” You state. “I now know how he’s been abstaining himself while doing overnights at work. The stress is too much. Between work and him, I’ll choose to keep working.”

“Geez, why’re you being a buzz kill?” Haera asks. “No wonder you’re both so tight you need to relieve some stress.”

“I’ll consider it after the event.” You state now as you open up your tablet to tick off the items that have been placed inside. Walking around the store you begin to make adjustments and continue unboxing as well as placing items by in their respective shelves as well as places.

“It’s looking good babes,” Haera approves when the store looks crowded and more spacious with all the frames on display.

“As it should,” You remark. You crack your fingers after placing the last nature album back on its stand, before taking interest in your best friend who’s been on her phone ever since unpacking the boxes. She smirks while crossing her legs and rapidly types on her phone. Taking a seat next to her on the couch, you peek at her phone. Getting a glimpse of the text messages, you turn your head away when seeing your friend send a nude photo from her gallery. “Who’re sending those to?”

“Who else?” She asks rhetorically, knowing very well that you know who.

Lately you friend has shown no signs of shame in openly expressing how her sexual life is booming behind closed doors with her husband.

Ever since telling off Jaemin in the elevator, which was months ago, you can practically say that you’re life has sort of come back to normal. Without the exception of cheating, both you and Jaemin have hardly spoken to each other. As much as you were adamant on not committing that same mistake again with a man who was never your husband, you couldn’t help but miss the warmth between your thighs whenever you felt needy.

As tempting as it was to know that he was one phone call away, you held in your urges and maintained your dignity in being Jaehyun’s wife. With Jaehyun’s face being a face you’ve began seeing way too many times, it was almost impossible to think of Jaemin. Although they are those times when you visit Jaehyun in the office and spot Jaemin and him having tea, or other times you enter the building and Jaemin’s down by the clerk’s desk talking to some businessmen before directing them to some place in the building. In all those instances if you make eye contact, you both move past each other like you hardly know each other.

So seeing his number on the top of Haera’s screen you roll your eyes and cross your arms. “What? Are you jealous that you aren’t getting any?”

“Jealous?” You raise your brow ignoring her. “Any news on Baekhyun and his wife’s baby shower?”

Haera laughs. “Not you being salty. Is it that bad with Jaehyun?” She lays her head on the couch watching you.

“Haera I don’t know what you’re talking about,” You shake your head. “Nothing’s wrong with Jaehyun and I-”

“Yeah except the fact that you’re both stressed. Like I get you’re going through a phase of recommitting to each other but damn, is it that bad that you’re getting salty?”

“I’m not salty.”

“You don’t have to say it, but it’s so obvious. You’re so tight and stressed.” She says while standing up following behind you as you try to walk away from her. She jogs up the stairs behind you as you head into your office. “You know what, tomorrow is Friday, why don’t you come down with me to Faded Fantasies and together we can release some stress-”

“Haera please. I should honestly be working, I can’t be slacking off. The opening date is right around the corner and I don’t want to lose focus. I promise that right after the opening, I’ll come with you,”

Haera sighs. “Alright, I’ll be going now. Jaemin is waiting for me,” She answers her ringing phone. “So tense,” She mumbles before letting out a little laugh. “I know right, her husband hasn’t been giving her any that’s why.”

Your face grows red but you swiftly walk away from her not giving ‘Jaemin’ over the phone call the satisfaction of seeing how embarrassed you are.

-

Getting home around 6pm you find out that you’re earlier then Jaehyun, and so as the idea hits you, you decide to put yourself out of your misery and dress up in your black silk sexy fabric wanting to get laid. Maybe Haera is right, you need to be loose a little so that you won’t be so tense all the time. And as you put on your matching lace bra and underwear which highlight your perky boobs and show off your firm buttocks you already feel yourself getting in a mood and hope that Jaehyun won’t turn you down.

When talking to Haera about your sex life you didn’t mention to her how you’ve been turning Jaehyun down whenever he wanted to lay with you. Now that you think about it, it could’ve been the thing both provoking you guys. But as you wear your sexy silk night dress that reaches up above your mid-thigh, barely covering your ass, you smile at yourself while looking at the mirror. You do nothing much with your hair expect comb it to lay flat against your back. He liked it that way. You add the dramatic lace stockings that held your legs firmly revealing your juicy prompt thighs on display. Already getting so horny you slide your hands down your body while giving yourself a show in your mirror. You’re watching your face and the features it makes while twirling your hips and playing with yourself. You don’t go any further simply wanting yourself not to tease yourself too much that you combust.

Checking if you still have some time to cook, you turn up some music from Jaehyun’s record player ero erotic, and make a full meal for the both of you. That way after eating, you can tease him a bit while he rests up before you both go make soft love in your room. The ideas swarming in your head has you feeling aroused already and so once you’re done cooking and cover up the food you check the time- but you can already hear the door keypad sounding that someone has arrived, that he has arrived. Going up the stairs quickly you go into your room you touch up on your features and making sure that your body popped tonight.

Seconds later, you can hear the music being lowered almost to mute and you take that as your opportunity to appear. Leaving your room and making your way to the spiral staircase, your legs tip toe down the stairs in a sexy way. Seeing his stiletto in black attire, you smile as you reach the top of the stair case and pose for him. “Hey sexy,”

Jaehyun turns around- your eyes widen in horror just as the person you thought was Jaehyun turns out to be Jaemin who’s stunned to see you. His eyes go over your body and quickly you cover yourself up with your silk gown- knowing it’s not see through your face gets heated as you pent in frustration. Just in time to see Jaehyun walking from the other side of the house. “Oh there you ar- oh. H-hey honey.”

Breathing in annoyance you scurry away holding your down below your buttocks so that they wouldn’t see anything. Dashing up the stairs and into your room you slam the door just as furiously as you remove your gown and throwing it on the floor. The one time when you want to have sex, its when you see his stupid face. To think you saw him again only in your most revealing of self-wear has you angry.

Seconds later Jaehyun opens up the bedroom door, his eyes widening shyly when seeing you remove your silk dress and toss it on the floor revealing your round sensational ass being held by a G-string. Feeling your anger and understanding immediately what you had plans for tonight, Jaehyun approaches you cautiously. “I should’ve called and told you I was bringing a work partner over. Honey I’m sorry,”

“Weren’t you the one who nagged yesterday for us to no longer to bring work home?”

“Honey, this was important,”

You ignore him and sit on the bed while removing your lace thigh stockings and replace them with the skinny jeans you wore and find a shirt to put over your bra.

“Honey,”

“What?”

“I’m sorry,” Jaehyun is aroused seeing you, but he feels so bad that he invited someone over when you were ready to engage with him. He so badly wanted you, and seeing you conceal all your sex appeal by tying up your hair and removing your makeup makes him grunt in disappointment. Now he’d have a grumpy wife. “Look, I didn’t want to come home late. I had a few more things to do, but the time was already finished. I asked him to come home with me so that we could finish up the work-”

“So what do you want me to do about that? Should I prepare the table for 3 now?” You finish removing the makeup from your face with a wet wipe stand up while folding your arms. “You should go back to your date, I’ll get dinner plated-”

“Please don’t be mad,” Jaehyun gets you in a hug and kisses the top of your head. Being cranky about not having intercourse is normal and Jaehyun understands why you’re so upset. But he doesn’t know that the other reason you’re upset is because he brought the last person you wanted to see come over to your house. You didn’t like the fact that Jaemin saw you half naked and all purled up for your husband- you were hoping he’d never get to see you again in your slutty attire.

So after rolling your eyes and hugging Jaehyun back half-heartedly you put on your slippers and make your way down the stairs. Jaemin is still by the bottom of the staircase, and when he sees you coming down he attempts to bow his head at you but you barely spare him a glance as you strut away from his view. He wasn’t expecting to see you like that. Seeing you look so sexy and ready for a good fuck, he can’t even lie that he got turned on from the little he saw. Shit. His eyes follow your figure until you’re out of sight.

Looking up the stairs when he sees Jaehyun walking down the steps with his hand scratching the back of his head. Jaemin tries to lighten the mood. “I guess the Miss’s had other plans. S-should I leave?”

“No, it’s okay.” Jaehyun lets out a breath and gets his briefcase along with his laptop bag and nudges up the stairs. “Let’s get these documents out the way. She’s making dinner, hopefully we can finish up fast and have you leave before your wife starts calling.”

Going up the stairs following Jaehyun, Jaemin tries to cover his slowly forming bulge.

In the kitchen you begin to make another pot of food, seeing as they won’t be enough to plate up for Jaemin. Instead of placing the finished meal on the usual dining table, you set it in the four sitter dining room as they’ll only be three of you. When you’re done you make your way up until you reach Jaehyun’s office. The door is left adjured and you stick your head in. “Diner’s ready,”

Jaehyun’s eyes move away from his laptop to you before nodding his head. “I’ll be down.”

Your eyes move around his office seeing a variety of paperwork and another open laptop but you don’t see Jaemin. “Where’s Jaemin?”

“Restroom.”

You nod your head. “I’ll go ahead and start without you guys.” You don’t give Jaehyun time to respond as you head towards the staircase. Instead of starting without them, you simply take your plate and head on to kitchen to watch on the tv placed there. You can hear Jaemin and Jaehyun occasionally laugh from time to time, and you wonder how it is that Jaehyun actually became friendlier with Jaemin-whilst almost months ago he looked like he was about to throw hands with him.

Before you’re even finished with your food Jaehyun enters the kitchen with some plates in his hands. You peek at him getting off your stool. “You guys done?”

“Yes,”

“Let me remove the plates from the table, you head on to your date,”

“Babe-”

“It’s okay,” You sigh and let out a small tight smile. “I’m calmed down. Just needed to eat.”

Jaehyun checks to see if you’re really telling the truth, and then eventually drawing near to you to give you a hug. His arms wrap around yours and you lay your head on his chest. “Don’t go to sleep just yet, okay? Wait for me,”

“Sure,” You nod your head as he walks out the kitchen with you following behind. Jaemin is nowhere in sight, and that makes it easier for you as you pack all the plates and food together. You wash the dishes, give the kitchen a last minute clean up, wiping down all the tables where you ate as well as Jaehyun and Jaemin before heading up the stairs wanting to head to your room. On your way, you catch Jaemin leaving Jaehyun’s office. Ignoring his presence, you’re not expected to be called back. Your head snaps to him. “What?”

“Yikes,” He lowly chortles before drawing closer down the steps to you. “Thanks for the food. It was delicious. Best homemade meal I’ve ever had,”

In your head, you’re reminded of how much Haera hates cooking and prefers eating out. Not wanting to create conversation with him, you acknowledge the compliment with a little head nod before making your way past him- however yet again he stops you. This time by holding tight onto your wrist. “What?”

“Damn I get that we’re not…you know-”

“Jaemin I don’t have time for this-”

“Could we even just be friends? It’s not like all we had was sex-” You instantly shush him, and he cowers with acknowledgment before muttering a sorry. “I’m sorry. But you know what I mean. I missed talking to you,”

“Hate to burst your bubble, from my view it was only pure transactional intercourse. Now if you’ll excuse me-”

“Your pop up store was amazing.” He speaks, causing you to stop again and turn to him. “Really liked what you did with the place, it looks like it’ll have a long lasting business life span. I never got the chance to say that, but seeing as you’re not interested in building our friendship, I might as well say it now.”

You’re tempted to walk away again, but what he says strikes a daring nerve. “Building our friendship? Really now?”

“Pure friendship with no strings,” He mutters. “I just really hate passing you by in the hallways at work, or not being able to talk to you normally. It’s tense and you keep giving me this death glare. Look, I’m apologizing now for how I became too comfortable around you. We should’ve just started out as friends and not gone down the path we did. I messed up and I admit that. I’m sorry for tempting you and fooling around. And I know you said it was purely sex transaction for you, but for me it was more than that, I thought about the conversations we had. It was nice actually talking to someone else other than Haera, and letting out my business ideas or talking about my life and you showed interests of actually caring and I liked how you encouraged me and gifted me something on my birthday. I mean-”

As Jaemin talks, your closed off face begins to notice that his eyes are big and shining so bright while talking to you. He looks remorseful yet he seems content with the little attention you’re giving him. Your mind is fixated on his delighted face and diluted eyes, that it takes you a while to notice it…but he actually looks sad. And once your eyes catch onto the sadness replaced by the façade of the smile on his face, you gather up a question. Not minding that he’s still talking, you lightly interrupt. “Is everything okay?” Your tone is soft and almost worrying.

Jaemin’s speech halts just as his ears catch the question. For a brief second his face collapses into his true emotion, but after catching the sight of Jaehyun coming down the steps behind you, his fictitious smile comes back. “I was telling her that her store gives firm statistics that it’ll run for a long period of time,”

You jerk a little when Jaehyun suddenly appears behind you placing a hand on your hip. “That’s actually very genuine of you.” Jaehyun proudly smiles before nudging you a little. “She’s overflowing with work, works more hours than me, very soon she’ll be paying the expenses.”

“I could never beat you, you literally brought your work home,” You lightly kid when turning to Jaehyun. “So, I see your date went well,”

“Date?” That earns Jaemin a light chuckle. He really liked seeing you happy and making your light jokes, you really excelled in diverting attention. A graceful topic of work implores over the three of you, before ultimately Jaemin leaves and it’s left you and Jaehyun. Closing the doors and locking them, you allow Jaehyun to sweep you off your feet and take you up the stairs.

Telling him you’re too tired for any sexual activity makes him downcasted, yet he still has a smile on his face when you both drown in each other’s scents and sleep…

Or at least you try to sleep. Your mind is alive and buzzing with thoughts both on what Jaemin revealed and how he wants to rekindle the ‘friendship’ you both had. From what you recall when spending time with him, it’d always lead up to him whipping out his manhood and inserting it into your womanhood. You don’t recall any sentimental talks- aside from him talking about his desires and interests…and even talking about how much worth he feels as a man and ‘rebound husband’ to his wife… Okay, maybe he did pour out his feelings to you, and he trusted you enough to tell you what’s been going on in his life and how he feels. You think back to his eyes and how he looked at you like someone who’s receiving attention from a person they really like for the first time. For the time you’ve known him, you’ve only seen him as someone who allowed you to explore into the cheating territory, you never thought that he was using that same territory as a haven where he could let out his emotions.

The decision comes naturally to you when in the morning Jaehyun goes off to work. You wonder if really, this friendship between you and Jaemin might just work out. You feel awful that you never noticed him to have any other feelings, and simply mistook his feelings as a drive of sexual thirst. But after seeing his down casted face and eyes, you thought to yourself that maybe it wouldn’t be so bad to engage in a friendship with him.

And so, without a doubt, you’re walking into Jaehyun’s building with the motive to see Jaehyun, but alternatively see Jaemin too. And to your luck when the receptionist down stairs lets you up as usual, you’re surprised to find Jaemin already in Jaehyun’s office. He’s hunched over on Jaehyun’s desk arranging some papers. He gets surprised to see you, just as much as you.

“Hey, where’s Jaehyun?”

“Oh, him and Chae-won went to the factory to check on the samples.” Jaemin briefs you in. “Are you here to see him?” He timidly asks, as if testing the boarders of whether or not you’d ignore him.

“Yeah,” You answer him and motion to the lounge area. “I’ll just wait for him here,”

He nods his head with a faint smile. “Cool, I’ll be here then.” He motions to his own work that he was doing before you came in.

You nod your head and move over to the lounge area. Setting up the food and covering it in as you wait for Jaehyun, you make your way to Jaemin. He’s dead focused on his work, however when he notices you- his smile joins on his face. He’s happy that after some months, you’re actually not giving him the cold shoulder. “I know you’re busy, but I still wanna ask. Are you busy?”

“Uh,” His chuckle has you going over on Jaehyun’s chair and taking a seat on it. Feeling like a big boss, your arms rest on it as if you’re doing a proposal. “I need to finish arranging your husband’s tax invoice from the company’s personal invoice. It’s not as hectic as it looks. Why?”

“Just wondering,” You hum out. Watching him work, allows you to process in your head the types of questions and conversations you want to have with him.

“Aren’t you supposed to be at work right now?”

His question snaps your attention to the now and you nod your head. “I’ll head there after here. As a boss I can go in any time I want,”

He chuckles a little. “Make sure not to abuse your power. Your employees see and judge you without words,”

“I’m aware.” You shrug your shoulders leaning back into the seat. “It only took 1 week for me to realize how monstrous and cruel the unspoken environment of the workplace work feels like,”

“With a face and mind like yours, you look determined to get the job done. I have no doubt that you’ll keep it running for a really long time,” he comments kindly.

Meanwhile you scoff teasingly when remembering his words of last night. “Do you really think my business is gonna last long?”

“Yeah, certainly.” Jaemin answers truthfully looking into your eyes for a second. “I was there at the opening, and when hearing your speech and seeing the goods, personal services as well as public services you provided, I thought to myself how dynamically creative you are. Your vision came out perfectly and from the sounds of how Jaehyun describes your enterprise, it surely does manifest a success. I even ordered from your photography collection and bought a camera.”

“I saw you looking for one,” You nod your head with a proud smile. “Thanks for supporting. I can only keep my fingers crossed and hope to keep my business running for as long as possible. Oh yeah, isn’t your business like 4 months old now going to 5? How’s that going?”

“4 months old?” That makes him smile lightly. “How’d you know?”

“Haera might’ve mentioned you hosting a party for your business turning 4 months. She invited me but…yeah,” You try not to make it awkward and end of with a smile.

Jaemin nods his head returning your smile none the less. “The party went well, although I think your presence would’ve spiced up the night a little more,” His underlying tone has you feeling tensed for a second. You try not to think too much about his statement and listen to him talk on about his business. “It’s booming as always. You know with a club, it’s quite different from a business, because it all depends on the number of customers. Thankfully, my customers aren’t a number short, and it seems to be growing by night. It doesn’t have too much scandals, and by law it does everything right,”

“How do you handle working in the morning and at night?”

He shrugs his shoulders and takes a seat. “You’d be surprised that I actually have a lot of energy at night. Gives me freedom from my hell hole of a morning life,” He mutters out the last part. Judging from the fact that you heard it just shows how he wanted you to hear it.

“So,” You start when noticing he’s not as busy. “About what you said yesterday,”

He looks confused for a bit, yet he still nods his head. “About?”

“Us being friends,” You clarify, and his eyes briefly take yours in. As if anticipating what your answer or reaction would be. “I thought about it, almost the whole of last night. And I wanted to apologize to you.”

“You wanted to apologize to me?” The shock is evident on his voice. “What for? I’m the one who pushed you into-”

“I didn’t realize that you were actually pouring out your anxieties and thoughts to me. I only thought about sex and how you pleased me.” You mutter out. “So when I realized that you were genuinely expressing yourself to me, I felt bad that I couldn’t separate lust from reality,”

Jaemin nods his head after a while. His eyes go back to his work. You wait for him to say something, but when nothing comes out, you wonder if you said anything wrong.

“I don’t know about what type of friendship you had in mind but I was really hoping that we could start on a clean slate, if that’s okay with you?”

Whatever his answer is, you’re hoping that this won’t lead doors into another mistake between the both of you. He looks to you and smiles a little. “I don’t want you to feel forced.”

“This is me returning the favor. For every pleasure you gave me, despite it being out of context, I wanna be there for you the way you were there for me.”

Jaemin doesn’t say anything and it’s not long before you see Jaehyun and Chae-won appearing. You sigh when Jaemin doesn’t say anything and also get a little sad once Jaehyun walks in the office. You get off his chair and embrace him in a hug, while Jaemin goes on working and not minding the both of you.

The next couple of days are filled with work piling on top of each other. You focus on work while keeping time for Jaehyun, however that serves as impossible as the only time you see him is when it’s time to eat and when it’s time to sleep. Jaehyun stated that for the first couple of weeks and months work is tough, as you have to put all your energy into grooming it and making it grow. So while he understood your reasons for being preoccupied by work- you found it strange how at times you’d drift back into the state of barely seeing him. And to be honest you missed spending time with him. And when you get lonely, your mind turns to Jaemin. With Jaemin not giving you any proper answer, you don’t try to force anything but you can’t lie that he comes across your mind more frequently then often. And when Haera comes with a ‘work escape’ offer and it involves Jaemin’s club- you can’t help but become excited and immediately agree.

“So Haera and I are gonna go out this Saturday night,” You mention when laying down on the couch while Jaehyun flips through the tv stations seeking for what to watch.

“Where?”

“A club, Faded Fantasies,”

“I’ve never heard of that club,” He mutters, his eyes intensely reading the description as quick as possible. “Is it new?”

“Well if you mean new as in turning 5 months this Saturday then yes,”

“Do you have that sort of time to be wasting at some random club?” By his tone of disapproval, you get up from your side of the couch and move over to him.

“Come on babe,” You cutely impose. “It’s just for some fun, a little stress reliever, you can come to,”

“To some random club? I don’t think so.”

“Jaemin owns the club, so it’s not as random as you say,” You regret saying your sentence, as you watch Jaehyun freeze for a second. Your mind is quick in working out what next to say, however Jaehyun beats you to it.

“This Saturday?”

“Mhm,” you hum and give him a cute smile. “When was the last time we relieved stress together? I think it’d be a great chance for us to do so,”

You can’t tell what’s the look in Jaehyun’s eyes when he turns to gaze at you. There’s a bit of hesitancy and reluctance, but he effortlessly nods his head in agreeing, as if it’s something he needed to desperately do. You feel too content to even pay mind about his subtle confusion. You don’t even know why you’re too elatedly vibrant, all you know is that you might get to see Jaemin. Maybe it’s because you were once so used to having him balls deep into you that for the past few months of not getting any attention has set you a bit off.

When Saturday night comes and the hours roll by with Jaehyun going to work and coming home just in time to see you dressing up, you inform Haera that you’ll be tagging together with Jaehyun and that you don’t need a lift. She seems even more joyful at the news then you yourself- and you can tell that it’s because of selfish reasons but you don’t pay any mind to it. Your head is so wrapped around and fixated on seeing Jaemin that everything flies past your head. It’s almost as though you’re on cloud 9.

Perhaps if you paid attention to your surroundings a little more, you’d have realized that going to the club was a huge mistake. Firstly, while the location was still the same, a few modifications were done. It was no longer a first floor club, but now it had a double story, but the second floor was reserved for separate parties. As in Jaemin’s top customers who wanted a whole floor to themselves to do ‘god knows what’. Secondly, everything around seemed a little more hazy- as if it was a set up for trapping you into doing something you didn’t want. The lights were dimmed a little more, the music style changed and there was now a dj that set a tone for everything. While Jaemin was frequently busy as he still ran the drinks from time to time, he also had time to casually slide into the party and enjoy himself- it could be because he got himself a set of new workers who were really handy.

You and Jaehyun dressed up in club casual clothes, with you going with a smooth black tight dress that reached above your thighs, to Jaehyun matching with his standard black clothes, black suit pants and a white buttoned down shirt that had a few buttons missing at the top, allowing a part of his chest to be revealed. Come to think of it, you admired him and remembered all the reasons why he was sexy and could pull off anything. However, while your brain believed that you’d solely keep your attention on Jaehyun- once you reached the club and your mind adjusted to all the new changes, you couldn’t keep your eyes off Jaemin’s post.

Meeting Haera, who was already drunk, you easily joined her on the floor while Jaehyun found himself on the bar stool engaging in conversation with Jaemin. Jaehyun had his back to you, and Jaemin was behind the desk with his full view being in line with you. The dj toned the mood down into a sexual scenery and after a couple of drinks with Haera, you and her began dancing in such seductive manners that it just gets the attention of both your husbands.

Haera holds onto your waist and you drunkenly slide down her body letting your hands explore her figure and frame. She equally engages in the seductive dance as you’re both horny and thirsty on the dance floor, creating some form of attention to be on the both of you guys. But you both don’t mind as you’re half aware and half faded. All you care about is grinding on each other to get into a position of intimacy. At some point of your sexual thirst your tongues are entwined together and slither past each other wet and sloppy being the definition of you two. Fingers tracing every inch of her body just as she roams your body. You feel so hot, so bothered, so desperate for more that when you explicitly peer at Jaehyun- you except to see him looking back at you with lust- however you're met with Jaemin's dark pupils on you.

Which intensifies the moment you pull away from Haera and motion that you're going to the bathroom. Jaemin takes it as an opportunity to approach and follow you into the washroom. You intentionally wait by the door for him, and out of heat from all the make out with Haera, you don't wait a second to pounce on Jaemin's lips the moment he steps into the washroom.

Jaemin too doesn't stop you and attaches his lips deeper and his hands running up and down your body as he navigates you into one toilet stall. He mutters a little 'Are you sure?' but you're in pants and heaps of excitement when he hastily pulls up your tight dress over your bare thighs. Then he leans down and kisses up and down your leg, and then your inner thigh. Excitement reaches him when he meets your bare pussy in his face with no under garment. Your eyes close and his tongue traces down your center and to the slit at your apex, licking and sucking until you're ready to explode under his tongue. Jaemin being a master adds his touch by sliding his fingers just as his tongue move all across your sex.

Your fingers dig into his hair and hold on tightly to his head not wanting to let him go. Jaemin gets up and attaches his lips to yours again allowing you to taste your sweet and sour wetness. He slides a finger inside of you, caressing and teasing until you whimper in his mouth and arch your back trying to find more sensation with your own hand by placing it over his and helping him help you by rubbing you faster. His breath becomes ragged and his lips move away from your lips as he sinks on the floor again, but not before placing his tongue against the small hole he'd left and flicking his tongue across it. You moan and he continues to lick and suck until you're ready to come again. "Jaemin,"

He moans just as you help him unbuckle his pants. "Fuck, you're so hot. Your husband stepped out for a call and I couldn't help myself."

"Me neither," You position yourself over Jaemin's member just as he slams you against the door and thrusts himself up. It feels good and your head falls back on the wall as he pushes into you roughly. The feeling is amazing and you gasp loudly as your orgasm hits you harder than anything. "I've missed you so much," You wanna blame the alcohol, but a part of you really misses rough sex with Jaemin.

"Fuck!" Jaemin groans.

After that night with Jaehyun, he casually returned back to normal into intimate sex without all the roughness. And although it was nice, you barely had sex after that, and so now feeling how Jaemin's whole cock finds pleasure in your hole, you can't help but cry out in bliss as Jaemin thrusts harder into you, and your orgasm takes you. "Fuck!" You cry, clenching the sides of Jaemin's shoulders and burying your nails into them, digging in deep enough to draw blood.

"I love you so fucking much," Jaemin moans into your ear, holding onto you tighter to him.

His confession has you stiff. But you're equally panting from how rough that was. "Shit," You whisper out and blink a couple of times to get your vision back in focus. Getting off of Jaemin's cock, you ignore his confession and begin cleaning yourself up quick. "Shit," You curse again as you slowly come to realization of what you've just done. "I've gotta go," the light alcohol in your system has you tossing the used toilet paper into the toilet as you flush and quickly walk out the stall adjusting your clothes- you get a chance to see your reflection in the mirror and boy do you look drunk and fucked.

You walk out the washroom in time to see Jaehyun searching for you on the dance floor- once you make eye contact with him, your nervous smile comes on and you walk towards him.

You're not expecting him to kiss you, but when he does you halt only for a second before wrapping your arms around his shoulder and drawing yourself close to him.

Shit.

The sex you had with Jaemin was supposed to be for Jaehyun. The way he's kissing you and holding you tightly to him only shows his desire to be with you even if there was no actual physical activity between the two of you for months. As he's kissing you and his arms slide across your ass and gives it a squeeze- you only feel an intense amount of guilt spread over you. Fuck. If you'd just waited a little bit longer, it could've been Jaehyun's dick inside of you.

You're not even focused on the kiss as much as your mind is flooded with so much guilt- yet when the dim scenery of the club fades away and you notice you're in a bright place- you immediately realize it's the washroom that you were in several of minutes ago. Jaehyun is hot and bothered, needy and intense when his lips don't stop going down your neck, his hand squeezing your ass tighter than it already is. He starts kissing up the side of your face while you have to stand there with your legs shaking as if they've lost their strength. But you try to hold on. He's right here and he wants you, he'll never hurt you. Just like how he loves you.

"You're already shaking, damn I didn't even do anything,"

Jaemin's who's in the stall simply sitting down and regreting his whole decision to have sex with you again, is alerted when hearing Jaehyun's voice. His brows furrow before he stands up from the toilet seat and peers out of the door. Jaehyun's frame is over yours and your hands are around his neck. In a swift move Jaehyun picks you up as you spread your legs around his torso still in a steamy make out session with his tongue still invading your mouth. Your legs fall open wide feeling his boner and his hands roam down your body pressing you into him while they find their way beneath the fabric of your dress and onto your breasts and kneading them lightly as he continues to kiss your neck. "No panties hm?" Jaehyun laughs into the kiss.

A random guy walks into the washroom and cusses out before exiting when noticing how you're half naked and Jaehyun has you pinned up the wall against his body. That doesn't stop Jaehyun from continuously gnawing at your lips.

The first thing Jaemin notices from you and Jaehyun's make out is how passionate Jaehyun is.

Jaehyun isn't rough with you, he caresses your body, compliments you softly, has you moaning in such a soft voice- and it stings his heart because despite just cheating a few minutes ago- you look so safe in Jaehyun's arms. You hold him extra tight when you're moaning, you run your hand over his hair, you maintain eye contact with him- you're literally looking into his eyes as he's making love to you. That's what it is, it's sex but from your intimacy with Jaehyun, it looks so much like love sex.

Jaehyun is not in a rush and is taking his time with you, even when he asks if you're okay with doing it in the bathroom, Jaemin stays back in his own toilet stall and hears you. You're moaning as Jaehyun's gentle hands massage and dip into your wet pussy. Your legs around Jaehyun's waist don't flatter as you hold him tight while he takes off his belt and now holds you with both hands holding your thighs as he pumps his hips back and forth slowly but so deep. It hurts because you're overly sensitive, but as quick as the pain comes — with how gentle Jaehyun is the pain fades away and it's replaced with pleasure.

"Ah," You moan and throw your head back. Jaehyun's thrusts aren't rough and fast like Jaemin, but there are deep and so slow- hitting on all the right spots. He pulls out and in with such precision that you keep your eyes on him as he fucks you with passion.

"You're so pretty," Jaehyun says leaning in for another kiss. Jaemin watches you and his heart takes in the sight of how beautiful you look when locking eyes with your husband. With every hit of Jaehyun's cock you reach your climax, with each pull on your nipples you scream louder, but in all that Jaehyun's care over you has Jaemin in how passionate you both look.

For a while now, it's all he's been looking for. Passion in love. With Haera, it's never passion, it's always a give and take. While he enjoyed rough sex, a part of him also wished to enjoy the intimacy in holding and caressing and staring so deep into each other’s eyes that you fall in love all over again. Even though he can't see Jaehyun's eyes, your eyes on Jaehyun are so profound and intense that it has him feeling something in his heart. You love Jaehyun. And even though you had sex with Jaemin, he can clearly see where your heart lies. Your eyes are avidly and keenly engraved on Jaehyun.

And just for a little while, as Jaehyun pounds into you and you forget all about Jaemin, the guilt and shame return when Jaehyun pours out his seeds inside of you and you clean yourself up before throwing the tissue away. While you stand by the sink with your gaze on the mirror, Jaehyun stands behind you and leans into you whispering in your ear. “That was fun,”

Fuck. You should’ve really waited a little bit longer for Jaehyun, instead of getting it on with Jaemin.

2 Weeks later

You try as hard as possible to avoid Jaehyun’s work place, Jaemin, Haera and even the Faded Fantasies club. While Jaehyun was highly impressed after being there for one night, your experience had you wishing you never went in the first place. You can’t believe you slept with Jaemin. Again. Now you were all the way back in level 1. It didn’t help that even if you avoided Jaehyun’s work place, Jaehyun occasionally brought Jaemin to your home- sometimes he even brought Jaemin back home to assist him as well with his own Club Business Project.

You couldn’t look Jaemin in the eye knowing that you shamefully had sex with him again, and you can tell that he felt the same way, because whenever you somehow locked eyes you both looked away and walked in opposite directions.

“So,” Haera starts while taking a seat across from you in your office. “What is the deal with you and my husband?” You choke on air looking up immediately at her- only to see her startled by your reaction. “Calm down girl, what’s wrong?”

“You asked me what? About your husband?”

“Oh,” Haera runs her fingers through her hair. “I meant it in a simple way, not an accusing way babes, relax. He speaks so highly of you as if you did something for him. So I’m asking, what spell have you casted on him?”

You sigh out, breathing out in relief. “I’m still not sure what you mean by that, so I’ll ignore the question entirely.”

“The other night we were having sex, and all of a sudden he asks me how you and I became friends. He’s balls deep inside and he asks me this, I tell him we met in college. And then he goes on to asking different questions about you, such as your favorite band, taste, attractive qualities you like and so on. Imagine this, but he’s fucking me hardcore.”

Your face naturally gets red because you feel like you're caught, but after hearing the types of questions he asked Haera you stop writing for a while and look up to her. "Well, did you ask him why?"

"I did," Haera scoffs a little and avoids your eyes. "He said some dumb excuse, that he wanted to get you a birthday gift," While Haera says this, she's reminded of Jaemin's actual response to her…

"I think I might be in love with her." Jaemin pounds deeper into her before taking a different approach and begins pounding slowly and with all his force. "Fuck, she's the type of woman I love, she's so passionate and dedicated to something so small as love. Ah- You should see how she looks at Jaehyun. Fuck, I wish you could look at me like that." As Jaemin says that, his eyes change when looking at Haera. And even though he's having sex with her, Haera can just tell that the lustful eyes her husband is giving her is actually meant for Y/n instead of her. "I would've loved you more if you were her–"

"Fuck you. Are you drunk?" Haera's face turns into disgust and in anger she grabs Jaemin's shoulder while his eyes enlarge and she switches position now being on top of him. Leaning back she begins to ride him in a fast manner, quickening the pace trying to stop Jaemin from how he was pounding into her slowly. "Don't you ever compare me to her. You don't know what I've been through, so don't you fucking dare try to judge me. Hell if I wasn't so into men I'd have left you for her. You think you're worth the love? Fuck you, fuck me, ah,"

Haera looks up and watches you working. "I think I love him… Jaemin I mean."

That makes you stop writing for a bit, in fact it bursts you out of your thoughts. When Haera mentioned that Jaemin spoke about you because he wanted to get you something for your birthday, all you could think about is how to politely cut of the sexual transaction you guys have imposed on yourselves again. However hearing Haera's confession makes an explosion occur in your heart- because just weeks ago, you heard Jaemin confessing to you. Your eyes peer into Haera's eyes- and for the first time since you've known her, she actually looks sincere. She's never looked like this while being with Donghyuck and surely whenever she'd cry to you she never exposed her real emotions and always played it off as as some little thing. But now, her eyes are bit bigger, there's a glint of light that reflects her sincere emotions.

She chuckles faintly and leans back on her seat and stares ahead. "It sounds deluded, I know right. I love him more after that night we had sex. I think, a part of me realized how much he cares about me and how much I've taken him for granted. First of all, coming home to a partner waiting for you is truly the best thing any woman could ask for. He's always there for me. Listening to me rent, always trying to cheer me up with wanting to do something new or having sex in different ways- I mean even if I'm a bitch to him and treat him like crap, he's faithful and loyal to making me always feel good. Maybe I've been too harsh on him, but hearing him talk so fondly of you kinda made me jealous." She scoffs and looks at her wedding band on her ring finger. "I know I have nothing to be jealous of, but I love you babes, so much. And if I love you, and Jaehyun loves you, I'm afraid that Jaemin will start loving you… Jaemin has started to find reasons to love you too and it's making me anxious because…I want him to love me too…the way he loves you- God what am I even saying."

And just like that, you watch Haera shut down from voicing out her thoughts. Her unconscious thoughts. Hearing Haera implode such profound details of her love life has you shocked. It may have been a little peek but just hearing it makes you feel guilty. You heard Jaemin say he loves you and hearing your best friend being vulnerable makes you feel bad. "I love you too Haera." You confess as you get up on your feet and round the table to get to her. You stand right in front of her and she gets up and comes in for a hug. The ability to tell whenever she needed a hug still surprises you.

As she hugs you tightly you can feel how she's shaking. "I love you too babes, and I love him too,"

You can only hug her as she pours out her soul.

-

Later on in the evening when you return home you've got a lot on your mind. Aside from work, Jaehyun and Jaemin, at the top of your head is now Haera, your best friend who you have betrayed. You feel incredibly pitiful when thinking you've lusted over man, you've had sex with her man and overall you think her man might love you. To think that even though you don't feel an romantic feelings for Jaemin - Jaemin feels a lot for you. Not only did he remember you birthday but he's been curiously asking about you. What's worse, is that your best friend who doesn't have a heart has suddenly found a heart and wants to use it to fall in love with Jaemin. The only problem though, is you.

While Jaehyun has reduced his expansion of going to work from morning till night, you feel as though you've put him in a dark corner by sneaking around his back whenever you've been with Jaemin. Jaehyun has done nothing but give himself to you, he's devoted countless of hours into helping you with your business as well as being the present husband you've always wanted. It sucks because your present husband knows who Jaemin is, and Jaemin seems to have gotten a special trust from his boss after knowing that the both of you are friends. Jaehyun speaks good words about Jaemin, and it doesn't help that you've slept with him- because now it seems as though you've not only crossed a relationship line, but you've crossed a business line too.

For crying out loud, your wedding vows are ringing loudly and clearly whenever you think about how you betrayed Jaehyun too.

Jaehyun doesn't deserve your betrayal, and neither does Haera. Come to think of it, not even Jaemin deserves the feelings he's gotten for you. Somehow you've led him on. Perhaps you were both thinking of sex that night, but maybe it wouldn't have gone that way if you weren't so eager to have him lips locked from the moment he entered the door.

With so much thoughts in your head, you get out your phone and make a rash decision to text Jaemin.

You: What we did that night… mistake right? you don't really love me… do you? becuz if I'm being real we can't take back that night, but we can take back our words. You don't love me Jaemin. I love my husband. We should stop having sex becuz it's not looking good anymore. Please respond… say something, anything…

You begin to prepare food for both you and Jaehyun as you wait for him to come home, while at the same time waiting for Jaemin to text back.

Jaemin doesn't text back and after a whole hour passes you're done making food. Your mind is elsewhere when you're alone in he living room waiting for Jaehyun to come home. The moment your phone dings, you jump and attended to your phone immediately.

Jaehyun: I'm drunk babe. Fetch me

Your anxiety simmers down when reading the text and realising it's from Jaehyun. You get a little confused when reading the text again. Standing up you make your way to your room as you double check on Jaemin's message. You're fresh your screen hoping that your phone glitched when he texted. But instead there's no glitch and there's no text from Jaemin. Getting a set of car keys from Jaehyun's drawer you put on some shoes and check a safe car to go with. Your not much of a driver and prefer your driver to drive you around, but for a long time (probably months) you've let your driver go because you enjoyed walking with Haera or alone.

So getting a white BMW from the set of cars, you prepare yourself to start driving as the sun has set leaving darkness to fill up on the sky above. As you start driving under the dark purple sky, you love as it turns into a navy blue before it's complete darkness by the end of your journey. Parking outside of Jaehyun's company. You lock the door and head up the stairs leading into the entrance of the company. The lobby secretary isn't present but the security and cleaner greet you and let you in easily leaving you enter the elevator and heading on upstairs.

"So slow," you mutter when the elevator finally reaches the top after several minutes. You exit the elevator but stop when seeing the whole hallway leading to Jaehyun's office is dark. The only light emitting is from his office. Taking a few steps you walk calmly when sensing some movements after hearing some papers rustling.

Quietly entering into the office you're surprised when seeing the familiar figure of Jaehyun not inside the office but instead it's Jaemin. Jaemin is seated by the down step of the lounging area. He stands up and moves towards the couch. He takes a seat nonchalantly muttering out some words.

"Jaemin?"

His head snaps up and his eyes widen. He removes an ear pod and clears his throat. "Hey, what are you doing here?"

"What are you doing here?" You emphasize.

"Doing a last minute fact check before tomorrows board meeting. Your husband wants me to introduce the concept of the Class scent to tomorrows bidders. The Chinese are coming, and Japanese, but we're mostly marketing to the European board members." Jaemin answers and clasps a bunch of papers into his hand before propping then nicely on the table. "It's going all well, I'd say I'm doing well."

"Why are you in his office though?"

"Like I said, fact check. He's got the papers and projector that I need. It's under close supervision so that no mistakes can happen. Which is why I can't take it out and lose anything by accident, so I'll just have to be here,"

"Oh," You nod your head. "So you're busy." You mutter when getting that out of the way and look to Jaehyun's table. "So where's Jaehyun?"

"He went home?" Jaemin raises his brow. "He left, so I assumed he's going home,"

"But.." you take out your phone, just as Jaemin stands up and cautiously moves close to you. "He sent me a text saying he needed me to pick him up,"

"Pick him up?"

"Said he was drunk,"

"He looked perfectly fine when leaving the office, sober even." Jaemin tilts his head. "Did he say you should come here?"

Finally getting another look at the message, you notice that he sent another message after that.

Jaehyun: I'm drunk babe. Fetch me - I think I'm at Fantasy Faded👁️ it's Jaemin's club that one yeah

You sigh and shoe Jaemin the message. "What's he doing at my club?"

"By the text, it seems like he's drinking," You put your phone on your pocket but stop halfway when remembering your message to Jaemin. "Hey. Do, you have, a minute to spare?"

"Mhm," he nods his head, and the nervousness comes back to his face. "It's about the club right?"

Your eyes squint a little. "Did you read my text?"

Jaemin's eyebrows raise and he gets out his phone inspecting it. "What text?"

"My text message, that I sent you?"

Jaemin looking down and scanning his messages shakes his head. "I got nothing,"

"Nothing?" You go to his message to check if you hit sent when sending the message. "But I sent… Anyway Uhm, here,"

You give Jaemin your phone to read the message…

You: What we did that night… mistake right? you don't really love me… do you? becuz if I'm being real we can't take back that night, but we can take back our words. You don't love me Jaemin. I love my husband. We should stop having sex becuz it's not looking good anymore. Please respond… say something, anything…

Jaemin's facial expressions change evidently going along with how unstable, uncomfortable and restless the message is. "I didn't get this," he mummers and bites his lip before looking at you.

You don't say anything, and simply look at him waiting for his response. You've already allowed your thinking to cloud your mind, now you wanna hear him.

His eyes are tranquil as if he's regretted nothing. It's weird because when reading the message he looked distressed but now looking into your eyes, he looks calm. He opens his mouth to speak, but when nothing comes out and he puts both phones away in his pocket, he takes a step close to you and places his hands on your cheeks and before you can retreat his lips are pressed lightly and moist your lips.

Your hand goes on his bicep and you squeeze it a little before moaning back and stepping away removing your lips from his. You're breathing a lot and clear your throat. "Jaemin –"

"I saw how you made love to Jaehyun," Jaemin's hands find their way to your neck again as he's looking down into your fearful eyes. "Can't I just try it? Just the tip?"

"Jaemin…" You can only breathe out in shock with no words.

"He was so slow, but he put his all into it. It wasn't even sex anymore, that was love,"

"Jaemin please," you get your hands off his bicep and pull yourself away from his hold. You turn around and walk away from him. You go down the step and face the open view of the night city. Your head buzzing instead of enjoying the view. "Jaemin, I don't want to lead you on anymore. I don't love you-"

"I don't care about that. I know you don't, but if we really wanna end this affair. Can't I just try it once? Make love to you instead of having sex?"

You can't even look back at him as your face is in shock. You gasp and your body jolts a little when the warmth from his sips into your back. His hands find your arms and he goes up and down making you feel warm. "Jaemin please don't make me do this,"

"I won't kiss you ever again after tonight," Jaemin whispers in your ear. His fingers run down your waist and he begins to undo the buttons on your shirt from the bottom up. Just the little warmth from your stomach has him attaching his lips to your neck. The tongue and kiss pecks can be heard and your shallow breath is all it takes for Jaemin to feel fully engrossed. You want to stop him but once he's finished with all the buttons, you reach behind your back and undo your bra.

"We're never doing this again right?"

"Right-" Jaemin is breathless and his eyes are needy with eagerness when finding your lips. You kiss him in the same way you'd kiss Jaehyun and that makes Jaemin grunt in bliss. "Make love to me as you'd do with him,"

Unlike the needy look in his eyes, Jaehyun lusts after how soft and smooth this is going. You back him up trying to get to the chair without looking. Once on the couch, you straddle him and roll your hips over his poking member and be helps you remove your shirt and your lingering bra. His warm tongue sucks on your nipple and you through your head back moaning while you dry hump him. Your shaking hips over his covered member has him squeezing his hands over your thighs.

"Should I be this needy right now?"

You smirk and take care of him rounding your hips slowly and making sure to graze him with your pussy.

"There's nothing sexier then a woman who knows to ride," Jaemin let's go of your hips and watches how you ride him and waistline moves in such a seductive way. "This is killing me, fuck,"

"You like it,"

Jaemin's eyes peer up when hearing your voice. You're not looking at him the way you did to Jaehyun, but it's close enough. This is lust to its peek.

As you ride Jaemin slowly, and you both take your time in exploring each other's bodies by removing your and his clothes, you truly don't know what comes over you when you have sex with him in the same way that Jaehyun would have with you. It's raw yet so passionate- if anything you think you've made Jaemin fall more in love with you, but you're too caught up to care. While you're riding Jaehyun drunkenly drives himself to Taeyong's house.

Due to Jaehyun being drunk he's unaware of Chae-won's confused face when seeing her boss. "Tae? It's sir,"

Taeyong is shocked to see Jaehyun but spotting his best friend looking fuzzy, he does the most rational thing and gives Jaehyun the spare bedroom to sleep in. Long time ago, perhaps at the start of Jaehyun's business, whenever Jaehyun would feel overwhelmed by work, he'd come over to Taeyong's place and talk it all out.

So as Taeyong assists Jaehyun on the bed, he's surprised by the mumble that leaves his best friend's lips. "What did you say?"

Jaehyun mumbles and gets under the blankets before speaking in a slow manner ready to sleep. "You told me that leaving her all alone and her spending time alone was scary. But I trusted her… I trust her Taeyong. It was a mistake right? Fuck… sleepy.. she didn't sleep with him… She couldn't have-" Jaehyun's eyes close and he hums out as his voice becomes more and more difficult to hear as he fades into whispers. "Shit…when was this? That fuck… Slept with my wife… fucking Jae…Min…"

While Jaehyun is drunk, you and Jaemin after having had sex in his office, retort to touching each other in the elevator when going down and even in your car he can't stop fingering you while you drive on the dark deserted streets of the night. As soon as you get to his house, your sexual drive kicks in and you and Jaemin enter into his dark home and pounce for the guest room. Haera is asleep but it doesn't stop you and Jaemin from continuously touching each other.

The room is pitch black. The only light illuminating your figures on the bed is from the open curtains of the moon light. Jaemin wraps his arm around your waist, holding you tight to him as if he feels that you might reject him. Something has changed. You can’t see him, however, you can feel that the air tonight is different.

How did you get here? Yet again, how did you end up here? No seriously, how?

You can’t see him, yet you can feel the bareness of his warm nude body sipping into your own nude backside spooning you. Yet again, you find yourself here indulging in this filthy unfaithful act in his room, with him that’s not your husband, on his bed, naked and fully collided into him allowing him to caress your figure carefully. You find yourself yet again (even after you’ve told yourself that you’d never do it again) here. In his grasp…In his arms….In his warm loving hold.

“Do you love him?” His voice is just below a whisper, between raspy and breathless yet it sounds so full of anxiety as if your answer will determine his next words. His question doesn’t make it any better, and you’re reminded that you’ve kept this unfaithful practice for more than 7 months. That’s why, he’s so attached to you. That’s why this suddenly feels all wrong. His arm pulls you closer to him, as your eyes remain fixed on the open window. Jaehyun could be home right now. The guilt you once felt for every time that you’ve left him alone, sips into you like a regular feeling that’s become normal. “Do you love your husband?” Jaemin whispers into your ear again.

No seriously, how? How has this little one time thing, led up to this moment? How did you end up here again?

End up in a bed that’s not yours, but yet feels so familiar to you. End up with a man that you’ve allowed to stretch your legs wide open and dip his head in your glory hole one too many times, knowing all too well that he’s not your husband. How did you end up agreeing to letting him lap at your dripping core with such drive and thirst, knowing all too well that neither of you should be doing this? Neither of you should be craving each other. Neither of you should be lusting after each other.

How did you end up here?

End up allowing a man you’ve hardly known to be your constant dick call and to be your escape. Night after night, either at your place or his place as your voice, moans out blissfully while you’re being riled mercilessly from behind- allowing him to grip your hair back forcing you to arch your back into his chest- where he grips his arm underneath your bouncing breast colliding your back into him so that there can be no space in between. Whispering softly into your ear, “I love you and I want you so much,”

How did you end up here?

“Do you love me?”

You snap out of your thoughts, by the new question. Thinking of how he’s been so chatty tonight. He not only confessed his love, but now he’s asking of your devotion to your husband… as well as to him. You breathe out and turn around, his arm never leaving your waist, simply adjusting as you turn to face him. His face looks different. This isn’t the face of the cocky man who prided himself about sleeping with a billionaire’s wife. This is a man who has stars in his eyes, love blinded by lust and how he wants you.

As if it can’t get worse, he’s Jaemin, the husband to your best friend.

Looking into the eyes of your best friend’s husband that you passionately fucked moments ago, you can’t believe how messy everything has gotten. It started out as a onetime thing, it turned into a constant night hook up for whenever your husband was not around- but now, after the conversations you’ve had… even you can’t deny that you’ve gotten into a deeper relationship with him.

He doesn’t seem to care about the consequences anymore as his words are true and evident in his hopeful eyes as they search your own eyes. He calls your name gently. “I want you.”

How did you end up here?

"Jaemin," You moan as he pounds you from behind. "We're never doing this again."

•

After you drop him off at home, you're devastated when going back home. You get shocked when Taeyong is seated in the living room. "Where the hell were you?"

Your face is coated red and your hold your heart. "Jaehyun asked me to come and pick him up from work. I was there but he wasn't, I looked around and just decided to come home," is the only lie that pulls up the top of your head.

"Apparently he was drunk. He's upstairs." Taeyong gets up and walks past you towards the door. "Night."

You look at the clock and see the time. 03:34.

1 month later

"Oh my god!" You cover your mouth in pure happiness when a familiar man steps onto the built stage in your backyard, and he points his hand at you. "Oh my god Jae! Is that- Jae you didn't! Oh my god! It's Nakomato Yuta!"

You as well as all the other ladies in your backyard cheer and squeal for the famous heartthrob Japanese singer.

"Happy birthday to the lovely Mrs Jung Y/n," The famous celebrity, Yuta charmingly smiles in your direction. "When Mr Jung Jaehyun called me and told me he's got a beautiful wife who loves my music and records, I was touched because I didn't think he could get a wife firstly. He was a geek in high school and knew nothing about the type of music I made. So hearing that my music has influenced your wife, you Mrs Jung, truly enticed me into believing your husband has extraordinary taste. Seeing you Mrs Jung, seeing your beauty that radiates into him and into everyone here makes me happy because this is the type of songs I write about. You always need someone in your life. And I'm especially happy for you, to be a part of this birthday special. Thank you for having me this afternoon, in your beautiful backyard, my prayer is that your birthday may bloom into one of prosperity in all aspects of your life. Your beauty is captivating me, so I prepared this song especially for you, dedicated to you, and requested to you. Thank you to the crowd as well, for joining in on this special day, to this special woman. Sing along if you know the song, t's called All worn out,"

Already by the break of the first piano chord has all the ladies screaming and abandoning their dates/husbands/boyfriends and racing to the front. The soft violin mixes well into the speakers around and the mic is placed beautifully as Yuta sings the lyrics.

You and Haera hold onto each other while swaying side to side and singing. "Hold me down. I'm not the one to stay around. I'm lost again. It's getting kind of turbulent. Pull the roses out. The stems look sad and wilted now. You need a friend. In the heat of it. Heat of it!"

When the soft rock plays you and Haera bang your heads softly before laughing and looking to each other giving warm hugs around. Looking around the crowd you're happy when seeing your friends and family all in the backyard enjoying the moment just as much as you. You're grateful that for each and everyone of them. You'd never expect to see them on this day, but when Jaehyun took you out early in the morning as a special birthday morning, you were completely clueless to come back home and the whole house was packed with your family as well as friend's who all came to celebrate your birthday.

Yuta sings a couple more songs, and listening to his voice is so cosy- and being out of character for your rich friends, the crowd listening to Yuta's smooth and soft voice, begins to sit ok the grass just listening to him sing. It's like a private concert for the ladies, and some of the guys who enjoy the song.

For the other guys, they're watching football on TV and cheering on the team that's winning. For Jaehyun though, he can't get his eyes off of your elated face that looks like it's seconds away from breaking from how jubilated you are. The skies turn dark as the twinkle lights scattered in the backyard light up and create a blissful ambiance. Jaehyun's heart breaks a little when he sees Jaemin leaving the other groups of man and walk over to the ladies on the ground. Jaehyun watches as Jaemin scoots himself in between Haera and you a d sits close to you but has his attention on his wife.

Jaehyun still doesn't know whether he dreamt it all or not, whether he was too drunk to pull reality away from his dreams, but seeing you turn to look at Jaemin and then smiling makes Jaehyun feel bad all over again.

"Come on Jae, I don't think she'd do that to you," Jaehyun turns his head slowly to Taeyong who takes a position next to him. That night when he drunk his pain away and made it to Taeyong's door, Taeyong was surprised by all that Jaehyun said.

Jaehyun faces Yuta again and listens to the lyrics he sings. "Why are his heartbreak songs so successful? And true." Jaehyun breathes out and shakes his head before getting his eyes back to you and Jaemin… Thankfully Jaemin has his arms wrapped around Haera, because if they weren't then it would've played with Jaehyun's mind some more.

"Jae," Taeyong sighs and pulls Jaehyun away from the scene. "This is depressing. You haven't once smiled truly ever since that day you waltzed in drunk into my home,"

Jaehyun finds himself in the kitchen with Taeyong taking a glass of water. "I'm not trying to be negative and unrealistic, but what if it wasn't a dream? Then what would I be smiling for? My wife is cheating on me with-"

"She's not cheating." Taeyong immediately cuts and looks around lowering his voice hoping that nobody heard him. "Damn. Get a grip on yourself. It's her birthday for hell sake. Have you caught them being intimate together?"

"No but-"

"No is the final answer. With the amount of work pressure she's under, and the amount of work Jaemin's been doing, you really think they'd go behind your back? No man. Besides you said that he's a mediator between his wife and yours. Why would he cheat on Haera? That fucking bitch gives great head and I doubt he'd leave her."

"Great head?" Jaehyun furrows his brows. "Am I missing something?"

Taeyong grunts and looks displeased. "Got head from her once or twice when you and Y/n were still in the dating phase,"

"I'm not even going to comment on that," Jaehyun drinks the water and immediately speaks on something different to avoid going back on the topic of his relationship. There's absolutely nothing that Taeyong can say to sway him from his suspicious nature between you and Jaemin. The only proof Jaehyun has…is the text message. The only problem is that he's not quite sure if the text message was real, because after drinking a whole bunch of things made the text message a bit incoherent and Jaehyun doesn't know what he read. But he knows he read something that upset him. He remembers:

You: What we did that night… mistake right? We should stop having sex. Please respond… say something, anything…

It's a bit unclear which parts of the message was fake and what was real, but Jaehyun surely remembers reading something along those lines.

"You and Chae-won seem to be getting it on. What happened to your playboy record?"

Taeyong's smile makes Jaehyun smile. It's crazy what the honeymoon phase of couples who want to commit to each other can do. "I feel like I'm on cloud 9 with her. She's great in bed yeah, but she's great as a person too. Smart, dedicated, persistent, and she's so pure and lovely. I'm the second guy to ever have sex with her. The first time she had it, was with her uncle, he molested her. And then me. Technically to her I'm her second, but to me I'm her first. I won't ever allow herself to think of that disgusting man as her first. Either way, she's got a good heart. And I don't know why, but it's healing being with her. I love- wow." Taeyong breathes out and smiles a little.

"That's TMI for me," Jaehyun lightly smiles. "You love her?"

"Is that weird to say? It's been 6 months with her. Love is way too fast right?"

"I feel in love with Y/n on day 2 of us saying hi for the first time." Jaehyun chuckles modestly. "It's not too fast, just make sure she's not boarding her traumas on you and you're not boarding your fuckboy ways on her,"

"I don't mind boarding her traumas, as long as it helps her heal then I don't mind,"

Like all epic nights, it finally comes to an end with Yuta playing his last song, the guests singing a little happy birthday song, cake and eating time before they start leaving by the strike of 10pm. Thankfully with a few workers over, they clean the house spotless and by 11pm everyone is out the house, only leaving you and Jaehyun together alone in bed.

For some weeks and days, something has been off between you and Jaehyun. You don't know what it is, you wish you knew, but you don't. Jaehyun doesn't seem like himself and it's bothering you. You keep trying and prompting him to open up, you give your all in trying your hardest to get him to even talk to you, but yet he zones out or quiets down.

He doesn't kiss you anymore, and if he does it's the weakest thing ever light as a feather. He doesn't hold you anymore, if he does it's only when someone is around. He doesn't even talk you a lot like he used, and talking was always the base of your relationship. To have him coming back home and ignoring you purposely is something that surely has gotten you worried.

Tonight is no different when you finish washing your face up in the bathroom. You enter the dark room to see him already sleeping with his bed side lamp off but yours is on. You sigh and get closer to the bed. Laying on it, you close the lamp and face his broad back.

"Jae," You whisper in a tiny voice.

He doesn't respond, but you know he's awake as his back stiffens a little before he breathes normally.

"Thanks for today. You made my entire day special, and I love you for bringing Yuta over,"

He nods his head. "I love you too,"

"Can I..hold you?"

Jaehyun sadly sighs and nods his head. He hears you moving closer before your tiny arms wrap around him. It hurt him a lot at the mere thought that you were cheating on him. With your beauty that was enticing to anyone who met you, he never worried that one day you'd cheat on him because you've always shown how devoted you were to him. Cheating was never something that ever crossed his mind, because he trusted you a lot to believe that you wouldn't cheat on him. But now, he doesn't even know what to think.

"Are you mad at me?" Your tiny voice fills the quiet dark night air again.

Jaehyun shakes his head. "No." His hand goes over yours that's on his abdomen. "Are you mad at me?"

"Yes," you respond in a heartbeat still with a whisper voice. "Because you're mad at me and I don't know why,"

Hearing you say that only makes Jaehyun clinch his jaw and huff leaving your hand alone. In fact he gets so bothered that he pulls your hand away from him. "Just sleep. It was a long day." It bothered him at the thought that really you could be lying to him every time you sleep with Jaemin and he wouldn't even know.

Jaemin was in his office that day. If Jaemin hadn't left to use the test room then maybe Jaehyun wouldn't have know that you and Jaemin had been texting. When Jaemin left he left his phone, and just in time his phone lit up. Jaehyun was going to ignore it, until he saw that it was a message from you. Furrowing his brows he looked again but the screen went off. Feeling paranoid of seeing your name, Jaehyun wanted to make sure that he didn't see your name and that it was someone else instead. But when he sneakily picked up the phone, he was surprised that there was no password and that it instantly opened up to your messages. His eyes widened when he read the message. His jaws clutched and he couldn't keep his raging emotions in check. He deleted the message immediately and just before he could open up the images that Jaemin sent you- He heard Jaemin flushing in the bathroom.

Setting the phone down, Jaehyun calmly packed up his things. Not even caring that he wasn't done with the work and helping Jaemin he got up just as Jaemin came out.

"Are you leaving sir?"

Hearing Jaemin speak only made Jaehyun want to throw Jaemin out the window in rage. But instead he shook his head and packed up. "I think you can handle without me. I'll head home."

Jaehyun didn't know what he read. Did his mind play a trick on him? Or did he really read… Instead of going home he called Haera. It's a number he rarely called, but it was an emergency. Haera was at Jaemin's club. Turns out he appointed her to management position to handle it while he was at work. He went there with the intentions to find out what Haera knew, but the moment he got there and they offered him a special- he said: "Fuck it" and began drinking. Shot after shot, bottle after bottle, Jaehyun didn't want to think at all.

Did you cheat on him once? Or was it an occuring thing?

"Jae?"

Jaemin snaps out of his head and hums.

"What's wrong? Please tell me," your voice sounds so broken and it hurts him that you sound that way, but it hurts to know what you did. "I want to know what I did wrong,"

"You really wanna know?" Jaehyun's voice is gruff and he clutches his jaw and whispers. "Okay." He turns and his back is flat on the bed while his gaze is up on the ceiling. "1 month 3 weeks and a day ago, you put on a tight dress I'd never seen before, you had no underwear on and we went to a club owned by Jaemin. In fact, it dates back to 6 months ago when we made love on the living room floor and you got a call from Haera's husband, Jaemin. No, not only that, but the first time I stayed home for a full day we went out to eat and we were met by Jaemin and his wife. I remember you being startled and looked uneasy, I thought it was because of Haera, but…" Jaehyun's jaws tremble in annoyance, he pinches his forehead and squeezes his eyes shut and breathes out. All incidents with Jaemin flood in his head. "You had no underwear on when we went to that club, Jaemin called you late at night after we made love, he said you liked it rough and I fucked you out of anger that night- I hurt you because I was insecure of my own husband skills, but yet you… He knew you liked it rough because he fucked you didn't he?"

The room falls into a deafening silence.

"Taeyong said when I arrived at his house drunk, he took me home and you weren't there. You came back around 3 a.m. Where the fuck were you at 3 fucking a.m.? Hm?" Jaehyun can't open his eyes and it hurts saying it all out loud. Hearing your silence Jaehyun grunts. "Fuck it. I shouldn't have said anything."

"Jae-"

"Did you sleep with Jaemin?"

"Jaehyun please-" your voice gets ruffled up in emotions of sorrow. "Listen-"

"It's all I need to know did you sleep with Jaemin? Yes or no."

"Jae-"

"Answer the damn question. Did you have sex with Jaemin? Did he fuck you? Did you allow him to fuck you? To see you naked? To have you all to himself while he fucked you roughly? You and your horny body. Did he sleep with you? Just answer me!" Jaehyun is off the bed and glaring at you while you kneel down on the bed and ruffle your fingers together. Jaehyun's eyes get teary and he pants out in frustration seeing you like that. "Answer it." Jaehyun whispers.

You sniff back and you blurt out. "I did."

Jaehyun's teeth sink into his bottom lip. "How many times?" He whispers. "If it was once I'll get it. I wasn't around when you needed me. If it was twice…three times ….four times ….how many times did you guys fuck?"

"Jaehyun-"

"How many times Y/n?"

"I- I don't know, I can't remember but-"

Jaehyun's hands go all the way up to his head and he runs his fingers through his head. He can't believe how ears and he doesn't want to hear you anymore. He gets his slippers on and walks out the room blocking your words as you 'try to explain' the casual words of: it meant nothing. I love you. It didn't mean anything. We stopped. Jaehyun doesn't want to hear any of it.

He remembers watching movies where the characters would face this situations and he'd think to himself that he'd forgive you if you did cheat on him, but reality is often disappointing when it hits. He can't forgive you, not now at least. You slept with Jaemin one too many times. And even as you're holding him and begging him not to go Jaehyun gets out the door and walks off leaving you crying in hysterically on the ground with no shoes. Just in time they both spot Haera also in a nightgown and getting out of her car looking pissed. Taking a few steps to your crying figure Jaehyun watches as Haera slaps you across the face.

"I'm pregnant Y/n! How could you do this to me! How could you sleep-" Haera drops to the ground and weeps out causing you shock. "How could you sleep with my husband. You bitch!"

-

"Taeyong's not home sir." Chae-won nervously says. "He went to pick up some papers at work sir,"

"Can I come in?" Jaehyun's voice is bleak and broken and Chae-won has never felt more bad for her boss.

"Of course sir," She moves aside and let's Jaehyun enter the house. "Is everything alright? We just came home from Y/n's party and you looked okay, what's wrong?"

Jaehyun says nothing and makes it in the kitchen. He sits on one of the stools and sinks his head in his hands. By chance, Chae-won begins making some coffee. "How do you know he's not cheating on you?"

Chae-won's ears perk up when hearing Jaehyun. "Pardon sir?"

"He's out at this till this time, getting so called paperwork? So how do you know he's not cheating on you?" Jaehyun repeats again before looking up into Chae-won's bewildered eyes. "He was notorious for sleeping around. I even warned you that he's the type of guy to love one night stands. So how do you know he's not cheating?"

"Sir-"

"She's beautiful right? My wife. I never thought…she's beautiful so I should've known,"

"Sir-"

Jaehyun gushes out grieving in his head. "I should've never read that text,"

"You found out she cheated on you," Chae-won says. "She stopped though. Or I'd like to think that she stopped,"

Jaehyun's eyes look up deadly into Chae-won's eyes.

"I saw her once, but when I found out she was your wife I told her not to do it again. And I believe she didn't."

"The world is not as innocent as you." Jaehyun's huffs when remembering how Haera slapped you. If his secretary knows, chances are that Taeyong knows and it's why he kept playing the denial game even though all the evidence was in front of him. "I wonder how she felt." Jaehyun gets up.

Surprising Chae-won, Jaehyun walks forward and corners her against the counter with his arms on each side of her.

"When you kiss Taeyong how do you feel?"

"Sir?"

"How could've been kissing another woman before you, but you still kiss him,"

"Sir I don't think-"

"You're a woman so tell me," Jaehyun's eyes get dark, clouded in rage, sadness and frustration. "Tell me how does this feel. When another man who isn't your man touches you here,"

Chae-won gasps when Jaehyun places his hand over her breast and palms it. "Sir-"

"Does it feel good?" He dips his neck down and his lips brush her neck before his tongue sucks on her. "Does it feel good?"

Chae-won nervously trembles and whispers. "Sir please don't-"

Jaehyun's ears go deaf when his other hand goes down her body and his two fingers sink inbetween her legs covered in pajama pants. He rubs over he clothed pussy and she trembles. She moans out in pure fear and her hands hold tightly onto his bicep. Jaehyun gets turned on by your heart and continues to kiss you. "Would it feel good if I called you baby?"

"Sir-"

"What the fuck?"

It takes one hard punch to get Jaehyun off of a tear filled and trembling Chae-won. Chae-won blurts out a cry just as Taeyong immediately holds onto her and hugs her. Like a baby, he carries her and gets out the kitchen leaving Jaehyun bleeding out through his nose and mouth. Jaehyun touches the bruised part of his cheek and chuckles. "Feels good doesn't it," He gets back on the floor and covers his eyes. "Is that what you felt Y/n? Scared? Or where you like me…and enjoyed it just a little?"

•

3 months later

The new secretary is devoted to her job, just as much as she's devoted to her wardrobe and appearance. From wearing thee most tight and short dresses to puffing her face in such seductive make up and her fragrance always gets Jaehyun's attention that he can't help but just look at her. Every time she bends over, purposely sprays the new collection of perfume on her chest and moves closer for Jaehyun to smell sets him on fire. The way she ties her up and looks at him like she's undressing him with her eyes turns Jaehyun on every time. In fact he loves going to work and spending the longest of hours there just being with her. But despite the advances from her corner, Jaehyun doesn't respond back even though he wants to. Even though he wants to smell and kiss her, and hold her body tight while he undresses her just makes him hard - and he gets frustrated because it's just all in his head.

He wants to know how long will it take for him to finally break and give up on being faithful to you. How long did it take for you to come to a conclusion to sleep with Jaemin? Did you put up a fight or did you willingly allow Jaemin to just touch you?

He wonders how long it took for Taeyong to find a heart and love another person with it? And how long will it take for him to give up on Chae-won if she had to cheat? Because Taeyong was once a heartbreaker, would he be heartbroken when his lover cheats too?

Once Haera got pregnant, did it sink in Jaemin's head that he no longer was allowed to sniff outside? And have lustful eyes elsewhere? How long did it take for him to realize that his family is all he needs to know that he should've never slept with another woman?

In Jaehyun's knowledge: he and you were a couple, Jaemin and Haera were a couple and Taeyong and Chae-won were a couple- that means there were 3 lovers, but Jaemin cheated on Haera, you cheated on him- that means there were two affairs and then in the end there was a betrayal. He knows for sure that he was broken, Haera could've been broken too and Taeyong hated his guts for what he did to Chae-won. But in all that, who broke first?

Was it you? And then Jaemin? Who broke who first? Was it Jaemin or was it you?

Because as damage control Taeyong, Haera with her unborn child, Chae-won and himself were damage control to the affair of Jaemin and you and they all had to suffer one way or another. Whether it was by loss of friendship, or cutting ties - the damage was done and everyone was left heartbroken.

Even though Jaehyun was still together with you, and Jaemin still with Haera and Taeyong still with Chae-won — Taeyong and Jaehyun lost their friendship because(1) Taeyong couldn't trust Jaehyun (2) Jaehyun hurt Chae-won (3) He didn't feel like working with Jaehyun as Jaehyun was in an "off" phase. He also made Chae-won cut all ties with the Fragrance company as it didn't seem that Jaehyun was in the right mind.

Haera cut all ties with you and because she cut ties with you, Jaemin too cut ties with you for good and thus resulting in the loss of friendship.

So while Jaehyun lost Taeyong and you lost Haera, it was hard to face each other. Jaehyun couldn't stand to look at you. You were now really lonely. Without Jaehyun sharing his business details as well as personal emotions, he bottled up so much and became a changed person, in a negative way. Without friendship in your corner or even a husband to pay mind to you, you felt absolutely hopeless and it got you feeling depressed. You've been trying for the past months to get Jaehyun attention back to you and for you both to speak but…the damage created a wound inside of both of you.

Jaehyun wants to know what changed inside of him for him to become this way?

He abandoned coming home early because he couldn't stand the sight of you. He slept on the couch because he didn't feel comfortable sharing the same bed knowing that Jaemin could've slept with you there too. He sent you money regularly but you guys hardly spoke to each other. After that night, work became his refuge camp once again. He stayed longer merely because his new secretary was an eye candy and her advances would increase by the hour and she got more bold.

Could it be that because you cheated on him that Jaehyun found no reason to feel bad to cheat too?

Or was it because of Jaemin? Jaemin was still in the company and he still worked with Jaehyun but there was a strain.

"Will you fire me?" Jaemin once asked when they were in the elevator.

Jaehyun merely even looked interested. "It hasn't affected your work so why should I fire you? We're in the third quarter and that wouldn't be a smart move. With Taeyong gone, your skills have improved vastly."

Because of breaking up with his best friend, because of violating another woman, Taeyong wanted nothing to do with Jaehyun at all and that affected his business greatly. With Taeyong gone, Jaemin proved he was worth the keeping. But since it bothered Jaehyun, he asked: "So you had sex with Y/n."

Jaemin's heart feels tugged. After Haera told him she was pregnant and he confessed that he had been sleeping with you, he never had the courage to face because so much tension had built and relationships had been ruined. So talking about you makes him feel bad, you didn't deserve this. He can only imagine what you're going through.

Jaehyun unconscious asks when Jaemin doesn't answer. "If you want her, you can have you know."

Jaemin's brows furrows and he peers at Jaehyun. Jaehyun has no emotion and looked dead inside and outside, especially his tone of being nonchalant like be doesn't care anymore. "I can't do that, she's your wife. I shouldn't have-"

"I don't care of what you shouldn't have done, I can't stand being in my own house knowing you and best had sex there."

"I've had her in other places, you know." The bitter smirk spreads across his lips. "All over your precious billionaire office, in the company elevator where you're standing, in a outdoor cafe in public, in my club in the bathroom- double times, I've even had her at my place twice and even in your car. So will you stop coming to work, or stop riding in the elevator and stop using your car all because we had sex there too?"

The conversation happened weeks ago, but it's Jaemin's words that always rile Jaehyun up in pushing the border between himself and his secretary.

So when Eunha enters the office in her tight and short body con red dress with a buttoned down blouse, she smiles at Jaehyun before walking down to the lounge area and bending down all the way till her ass cheeks are exposed revealing the red thong- and Jaehyun's mind filled with Jaemin's words prompt him to tell Eunha to stay a little while. "Why don't you have lunch with me?"

"I'd love to sir," Eunha takes a seat on the couch and turns her eyes to him. "Aren't you coming?"

Lust is in the air and just as Jaehyun is about to join Eunha on the couch he writes down in his notebook:

Scented Poison

That could be the name of his new fragrance launch. And when he sits down next to Eunha and moments later has his head wedged in between her core- he knows how the scent will smell especially when enjoying the scent of Eunha.

Jaehyun thought he'd feel bad for sucking Eunha's breast and fucking her raw without a condom, especially when he thought about you. But he was surprised that he found himself smirking and chuckling. Haera always told you about a businessman sleeping with his secretary. "I guess that came true,"

Taglist: @markleelately jddky notevenheretbh1 bellamendoza evepsycheandbluebirdswife fadingyouthunknown idkbutlukpop tattedhyun svtdose hyacinth-tree galorehearts f4irynono momwwndmxmff dalivanmagritte jovilymalfoy synnocence pieberry00 ohbrooke prettywoojae jaeminfication sehoonsworld haeuniee jccv svtf1lms vsszn aegablog dyndlpn starlightwish fashion-addictedd v3rtexx seamlessheart emvrd milkisgod weiyingsgoldencore moa-carat-addict akkindless pjw04 starillusion13 funkycatbruh entertainmentnabi baobeirenchin032313 hendowie mahm00n15 fullsunld twilightwei r24priv05 yutazen27 6-ucci yuneeeee glitterybarbarianwitch jaeminfuture

[fatallyfalling]

Darling ~ ♆

“ C’mere Darling, “

{{ Finnick Odair x Reader }}

warnings: pure fluff, little bit of ptsd if ya squint, reader is gender neutral but has rlly short hair

{{ prompt }} the night is too hard to bear alone, so you seek out the one person who can make everything feel safe again

{{ a/n }} because i’m a liar and can’t post consistent updates for Bitter Water here is a drabble because i’m sad and dysphoria is kicking my ass <3 this is 100% self indulgent i’m so sorry, i also didn’t run this through my normal editing software so please be nice aaaaaaaaaaa

You didn’t like sleeping alone, in fact you despised it.

The bed felt too big and too cold. The dark shadows in the corners near your wardrobe were too ominous to look at for long periods of time as well. You barely wanted to close your eyes, fearing the vivid night terrors that lurked in the trenches of your memories after the sun had set. You tried to comfort and self soothe by keeping a small string of warm lights curled around your headboard but it wasn’t enough to keep the poltergeists in your head away tonight.

With a shaky sigh you pulled yourself from the soft bedding and tugged on a familiar too-big ivory, cable knit sweater that smelled of sea salt with a faded almonds and honey aroma. Pausing to deeply inhale the comforting scent for a moment, the tightness in your chest uncoiled itself a smidge. Blinking away the exhaustion in your eyes, you picked up the comfort item you couldn’t bear to sleep without, threadbare seams from years of love and all, and hugged the plush close before padding out of your bedroom and downstairs towards your front door.

The dusty blue walls and white baseboards had always been too ornate for your liking, and the house you’d been gifted in the Victors Village was too creaky and empty to be alone in all the time. Without caring to slip on a pair of shoes, you left the large empty house and crept across the quiet street towards a house that felt more familiar and safe. It didn’t matter that all of the houses more or less looked the same, what mattered was what lay inside this one, that made it different. The lights weren’t on but you administered a hesitant knock, sucking your bottom lip between your teeth while an anxious crease formed between your brows.

No answer.

You waited a beat before trying again, knocking a bit firmer. The crisp air was chilly, sending a shiver up your spine despite the thick sweater and having wrapped the too-long sleeves over your knuckles to mimic mittens. Your overactive mind started to wonder if you should bother him at this hour, it was indeed very late and he very well could be asleep. Holding the plush in your hands a bit closer, you felt the small flicker of hope in your chest go out after no inference of an answer appeared in the dark windows of the home. Maybe you should go back to your house, even if the idea of doing so churned your insides. Releasing a defeated sigh through your nose, you had turned and started back down the steps of the wooden porch when a small click sounded behind and an all too familiar voice rasped your name.

“What’s wrong…?”

Your head whirls, meeting groggy sea-green irises with eyelids dragged down by sleep. The male’s hair was tousled more than usual, clear evidence he’d been dozing off before your interruption. “I-I’m sorry, I just- my house was too uhm… a-and-“ your stumbling sentences trail off as your cheeks flush, ears burning red as your gaze falls to your socks.

“C’mere Darling,”

The sleepy drawl in the victor’s voice was enough to shut your mouth and set your legs moving to melt into his warm embrace. “mm sorry Finn,” you murmur into his chest as strong arms wrap around your shoulders and waist. A comforting weight rests on your head from Finnick’s chin and the vibrations of his voice are felt against your cheek on his shoulder. “Don’t apologize, it’s okay. Let’s get inside,”

You simply nod, allowing him to lead you in, with your fingers gently interlaced. The calluses on his hands from seafaring and training with his trident were rough, but you didn’t mind. Finnick was always gentle in his touches, careful not to startle or press too harshly. There were few people you allowed to touch you after the traumatic events of your past, and combined with Finnick’s own touch aversions the two of you found peace in the gentleness of each other’s company.

You’re led upstairs into Finnick’s bedroom, his hand never leaving yours while guiding you over to the bed. The two of you comfortably settled beneath the covers as he pulled you close, your head resting on his chest listening to the steady cadence of his heartbeat, while soft featherlight touches drew lazy circles on the bare plush of your thigh hooked over his hip with calloused fingertips. Finnick’s other arm lay under your head, fingers traveling over the buzzed scruff at the nape of your neck and threading through the longer, soft and fluffy mess atop your head. He didn’t mind your shorter hair, rather enjoying playfully ruffling it every chance got and the way you melted into the touch when he threaded his fingers through it.

A content hum emits from your chest as the two of you tangle together in a pleasant embrace. “Home too scary again?” Finnick whispers into your hair. The dim lighting in the room from his bedside lamp gave everything a soft, golden glow that invited comfort and stability to your aching chest. “Yea…” you meekly respond, meeting those sea-green eyes and only finding compassion mixing with hints of worry. A small smile crosses the victor’s lips, dimples pressing into tanned cheeks, as he leans down to press a kiss to your forehead. “s’okay Darling, I’ve got you, you’re safe here.”

You can’t help melting further into the male’s touch. Another content hum leaving your lips as you press ever closer to his chest. The warmth all but lulls you into a gentle sleep, Finnick’s ministrations through your hair adding to the welcome comfort. “m’ love you,” You murmur, words smothered by sleep and your cheek pressing to the male’s tanned chest. You felt safe again, perfectly content and relaxed in the victor’s arms, his almonds and honey aroma soaking into your senses in a pleasant warmth that had you nuzzling closer to his chest.

“I love you more Darling ~”

Finnick’s voice rumbles against your cheek through his chest, and he gives a gentle, reassuring squeeze to your thigh before the two of you settle into a comforting slumber.

It felt good to be home with him, to be safe, and cared for, and loved.

“m’ love you most,”

{{ tags }}

[bronx-bomber87]

Happy Friday everyone! Doing today cause I shall be doing 5x01 On Sunday like I mentioned before to not be posting on Christmas. :) Holy crap we’re on the S4 finale. I remember when I watching it when it premiered thinking is this real life? Thought I was in a fever dream haha Made some long gifs to fit everything in LOL This one is super packed also this ep doesn’t need much more of an intro. So let’s get this party started.

4x22 Day in The Hole

Our fav patch work family gets the cold open. This moment truly is Tim and Lucy in mom/dad mode. Makes me so damn happy. Tim complaining because Tamara is late to meet them. Moaning on and on saying they have to go... but makes no effort to actually move or leave. Because the both of them have Tim wrapped around their finger. That man isn't moving but will complain the whole time about it LOL Lucy going into wifey mode calming him down saying she’ll be here. Relax. ha

Tamara pulls in and almost hits someone. In a police station parking lot... Their reactions I’m dying. Just a couple of concerned parents watching their kid almost cause an accident. Lucy is a proud mom as she pulls up. Clapping her hands. Tim looking like the stern father. He glares at the car wanting to see if this car is safe enough for her. This is a glimpse into them as parents. I’m liking what I see. Also can I say how cute it is Lucy wants Tim to look at her car in first place. Of course he said yes.

Tamara comes out and says isn’t she pretty? Saying it’s her first car. Lucy correcting her saying actually her car was her first. Tamara makes a joke about it being her fifth if they’re talking stolen. Tim has such a dad moment. ‘What?’ She loves to push their buttons it’s hilarious. Telling Tim it's a joke. Just loves messing with her pseudo mom and dad. Lives for it really. This is a fantastic way to start this episode off.

The family energy in this scene giving me all the feels. Lucy telling her to get it checked by the mechanic first. That you never know what cars from seized police auction go through. Tamara says Tim set her up with his guy already. Lucy is beaming about this. Says ‘Awww you do have a heart.’ ha Tim can't be seen as soft so he deflects.

But you are soft for both your girls Tim…This much is obvious ha You're a soft little puppy for them. I mean it's only for them but a marshmallow none the less. His reply is sassy af. Saying it’s purely out of self interest. He didn’t want to deal with Lucy being a drag with her dying in a mangled fireball of metal on the 405. The scoff/look Tamara shoots his way is hilarious. Tim fires back ‘Joke.’

Like Father like daughter and I’m dying with the cuteness in this cold open. Also Tim mirroring her posture from when she said 'Joke' to him. LMAO Unfortunately a drug sniffing dog starts barking at the car. Tim opens the hatch back and searches it. Find kilos of drugs hidden in the compartment. Tamara looks so sad. ‘I’m not getting my car back am I?’ Hahaha Sorry my dear you are definitely not…

Lucy looks up who the car is registered to. It's ‘Jake Butler.’ Lucy pulls up his mug shot and is confused as hell. Ahhhh the beginning of Dim it’s glorious. They pick up his doppelgänger and it's pretty amusing. Didn’t have room for that portion but his ‘Yo, why you looking like me?’ LOL Kills me. They get him into interrogation and the girls are having a field day with it. Enjoying Tim's discomfort so very much. Tim isn’t about this whatsoever of course.

Lucy says maybe they were separated at birth? Tim replies he’s a year older than him and was born in FL. You can see how unsettling he finds this. Tim tries to brush this off. Saying he doesn’t look that much like him. Ok honey… Angela saying he’s not the brightest bulb. Lucy gets excited and says ‘Tim and Dim’ LMAO Enjoying herself far too much with this. Angela and Nyla are joining in on it laughing with her. They aren't helping tamp down her excitement about this at all.

Tim calling Jake 'Dim' is hilarious. Lucy's face when he does is too cute. Also It cracks me up the minute they enter interrogation Dim hits on Lucy. Doesn't waste any time. I’m dying. Also you know Melissa and Eric had a blast filming these scenes. They’re so funny. The cockiness on Dim saying she would remember ha! Man isn’t lacking in the confidence department that's for sure. They tell him they found his car. He gets all excited saying someone stole it LOL

They inform him it was towed cause he parked by a hydrant haha Tim confronts him about the drugs in the car and Dim denies having it. Because of course he does. His fingerprints are all over the bags. Tim says he helps them and they’ll keep him out of prison. Dim gets offended and says he thought they had a bond ha.

Lucy asks where the drugs came from? He tells them Mexico that he was supposed to drive them over the border. But then he wanted to see his girl first before he dropped them off. I.e. Juicy heh When he came back out the car was gone. Tim asks for the name of the guy they were going to. He tells them Ray Hajek. Lucy gets a look in her eye and asks if his crew ever met him? He tells them no but why? We watch Lucy light up and Tim is confused why she is so excited haha

It’s here we see Lucy’s excitement go into hyperdrive. I love this portion because she is like a kid in a candy store with this. The sugary high to go along with it LOL Grey and Angela are no help to Tim whatsoever. They are beyond amused by Lucy’s antics. Like to note how easily Tim gives into Lucy’s demands here btw. You're married you just don’t know it yet.

Once he agrees Lucy gets ultra hyper which has me cackling. I love how she stops him with her hands. Because she’s too excited to walk now. Saying all the things they need to do to get him to look like Dim. Tim pointing out she is enjoying this way too much. Duh. I love her excited speed walk to catch up to him and say he needs tattoos. Lucy was a little too excited for those tats heh She sure loves the idea of a clean cut Tim Bradford covered in tattoos.

We pan to Lucy being on the team watching Tim’s OP. Part of the rescue team if needed. Kinda nice to see her on the watching end instead of him. Being just as much the worried wifey as he is the husband for her when she does UC. He gets taken up to the boss and does a damn good job of it. They’re pissed at him first because he disappeared with their drugs. Tim saying he went to ground because he didn’t want to get caught. Trying to avoid jamming him up.

He then asks why Wisco his heavy shouldn’t throw him over the balcony? We watch Lucy and Angela tense up. Tim has this handled with his reply above though. He is shocked with his intelligent reply. Saying he heard he was dumb. Tim continues on saying he wants people to think he’s dumb. Means they underestimate him.

That answer is enough for him. Tell Tim get his cash on way out. Or he could do another job for him and triple it. Tim asks what kind of job? He won’t divulge that portion just yet. Only that it’s heavy and tomorrow. They’ll need a driver. They heard his old lady is fast. Tim makes a crack 'Sometimes too fast.' He laughs and tells him they’ll be in touch with him.

Angela catches Lucy and tells her she had Dim’s GF picked up. Lucy is like 'Ok…Wait why are you being weird?' Angela says she needs to see for herself. She is enjoying this far too much. It’s Juicy! Haha Having AU Tim and Lucy makes my soul happy ahahah Now Tim is the one enjoying himself. Lucy is in shock when she sees her doppelgänger. Angela adding in ‘I guess we know who’s going undercover with Dim.’

Tim’s taunting is funny I’m rolling. ‘Yeah Juicy.’ ‘No’ ‘Mmhmm It’s Juicy’ LOL I’m dying this is so hilarious. Not so funny when it’s your double eh Lucy? Also you know Angela was enjoying this way too much as well. Lucy’s ‘I don’t like that…’ cracks me up. She is so disturbed by having her own double. She was having fun before and now she doesn't like it. Also probably stirring some stuff up there is an AU version of them out there. Not only that but they're together.

We’ve arrived at THE scene for the episode. Tim is over at Lucy’s for OP prep. Saying the backstory has to be airtight. Lucy agrees with him and asks how they met? Tim's answer of a BBQ is vanilla as it gets. This is why she’s the UC babe LOL Lucy telling him that’s lame. I love her just being so upfront with him. She always is but there is a confidence here I love. This is her wheelhouse and Tim is just along for the ride. This is her show really and she proves that in this scene.

Tim is such a stubborn turd saying ‘You think you can do better?’ Oh Timothy you’re about to have your mind blown and your brain broken…She starts out strong saying ‘Watch me.’ Lucy rubs her hands together. Saying they met because he was on the run from the cops. Tim nodding along but not totally sold yet. Lucy continues on with he ended up in her building frantic.Looking for a place to hide.

That she was the one who opened up the door for him. That she lied to the cops for him. It's here we see Tim starts to be impressed with her backstory. That sweet smirk of his in the second gif. You know he is in awe of her right now. That smirk and head tilt is a dead giveaway. Look at how soft he looks gazing at her. Fooling no one sir.

Lucy’s confidence continues as she finishes up their backstory. It's the smug smile and direct eye contact she gives him as she delivers that line above that gets me. I watch this scene and I’m still in shock we got it. That Lucy is talking about their alter egos hooking up while the cops search for him. Thus his brain malfunctioning. Tim’s reaction is glorious. It will always make me laugh no matter how many times I see it.

Kudos to Eric for crushing it like he always does. Lucy short circuited his brain and it shows. He is having an repeated error message and failing to reboot. You can tell he’s trying to hide the fact she turned him on a little. She achieved this with her confidence through out the story and just blowing his mind right at the end. The man will never recover. He is legit speechless.

Tim was not expecting her to go there at all. She floored him while simultaneously turning him on LOL His professional brain came to a screeching halt when she finished. Also I'm sure he wasn't expecting to be turned on by just her words either. His body was not ready for such things. Good thing he’s sitting cause I’m sure his pants just got a little tighter….

Tim then remembers he has to reply to her plan now haha Trying to gain his wits about him. Telling her ‘Ok….that..that's pretty good actually.’ Pretty good? She just blew your backstory out of the water. Then proceeded to make your brain stop working. You know he’s a mixture of turned on and impressed as hell with her. Won’t say so but his face said it all for us didn’t it? He legit had his jaw drop like a cartoon hahaha

Tim is seeing she truly is a force to be reckoned with when it comes to UC holy crap. She is also basking in the fact that she crushed his plan with her own, made him speechless, and then got a compliment out of him. Lucy is feeling pretty proud of herself when she says 'Thank you.' I love seeing this confidence on her. It's a good look. Just like I'll never over Tim's growth same goes for her. To see the confident bad ass woman she is now. How far she's come. I love it seeing it.

Once Tim has some semblance of a brain back he mentions the elephant in the room. That if they’re gonna sell they're together. They’re gonna have to...You know…. Lucy knowing exactly what he’s talking about but giving him a hard time. Trying to get him to say the words. Pretending like she has no idea what he’s talking about. He continues to get flustered and stammers around. Poor Tim. He struggles with his words and stutters. He’s shocked she doesn’t know what he’s talking about.

Lucy is enjoying herself far too much. Look at her face. Letting him dangle and trip over his words. Knowing talking about this is making him so very uncomfortable LOL So mean to do to your soulmate Lucy ha She finally throws him a lifeline and says we might have to PDA? Tim gets frustrated she strung him along and says never mind. Lucy stops him and says he’s right. If they’re going to kiss it shouldn’t be for the first time.

Then the awkwardness that is them pre-kiss ensues. They’re not sure what to do now…So Lucy suggests they stand up. No one does awkward better than these two. They’re so out of their depth right now. It's hysterical. I love a nervous Lucy Chen she is beyond adorable right here. The way Tim starts to lean in and she bails LOL Saying ‘No’ with a nervous giggle ejecting far away from him I’m rolling.

She totally chickens out at first and I don’t blame her. After last episode I'm sure her emotions are going haywire in this moment. Being shy because she already knows of the feelings there. That this was going to bring them out even more. Tim is about to find out himself what this kiss will reveal. Tim is exasperated and not understanding what’s going on here.

He's got a let's do this and get it over with attitude. The thing is Tim is nervous too. Look at him in that first gif. Takes a deep cleansing breath before trying to give her a kiss. He is just as nervous as she is. One thing to banter and flirt with your partner. It's another to kiss them. They’re both buzzing with nerves and it’s adorable af. Hats off to Eric and Melissa in this scene. I can feel all their anxiety and giddiness in this moment. They do an amazing job in this portion.

Tim get frustrated again and says ‘Oh, you know what? We’re professionals. Let’s just get this over with.’ Lucy’s reaction is the best part LOL Telling him 'Whoa! that’s romantic.' His childish reply of saying he wasn’t trying to be romantic LMAO OMG it’s a good thing you’re about to kiss. Because I wanna yell at them to kiss and get a room already.

Their banter is primo in this scene. Legendary really as is this entire scene. We talk about them being married a lot but never more so than before this kiss. Lucy telling him he’s succeeding and he replies with his pouty face. It’s all so hilarious to watch unfold. Lucy’s nervousness continues to shine through. Trying to reset herself as she psyches herself up to kiss him.

Tim never fails in making me laugh with his expressions and reactions. Telling her in an sarcastic tone to ‘Take her time...’ LOL Lucy trying to give herself a pep talk while Tim stands there exasperated af with her. He is so very done at this point. Just waiting her out at this point. Because he’s used to his wife antics. I love his annoyed deep sigh he let outs when she’s ready to rejoin him. The way he swings his arms in impatience lol

Tim finally leans in and gives her the most pitiful peck on the lips. He’s so proud of himself when he pulls back though. It’s pretty damn adorable if you ask me. He is expecting praise from his girl only to be demolished by her. Lucy was definitely expecting way more than what he just delivered. It's almost like she has to hold back a laugh at his lack luster attempt. Also that he thought he did a good job with it. Saying ‘I'm s...Sorry, is that it?' After all that build up just an innocent peck on the lips? Tim is so offended about her critique till she lays one on him. Effectively silencing him with a kiss. Also like to note how I love how this season started with an almost kiss and ends with an actual one. Lovely bookend.

I’ll never be over her cutting him off with her lips and grabbing him by the face. Pulling him forcefully towards her lips. *phew lord* Has his whole face in her hands while she has her way with him. I love how he stumbles into the kiss at first. If you watch him in the beginning of this gif you see him fall forward into the kiss. Wasn’t expecting that show of force from her. He needs a second to readjust his body into what’s now happening. Both of their frustrations with each other melting away once their lips touch. Takes them a moment to find their rhythm. Then it’s all about melding into one another. Fitting like the perfect puzzle pieces they low key always knew they were.

How Lucy’s right hand drops to his chest as she gets comfortable in this kiss. In his arms. Doing what comes naturally while in them. She keeps her left hand firmly on his face though. Keeping those beautiful lips of his directed at her. We watch Tim start to melt into Lucy as well. See how his body begins to relax against hers. His hand has made it's way up to her shoulder. Had this continued I have no doubt they would've swapped places from where they started. His hands continuing their journey upwards. Tim encasing her face in his hands as he continued to kiss her as if his life depended on it.

We see them start to get lost in their kiss. That argument of their's a moment ago is long forgotten. It’s such a sexy first kiss sweet lord. Tim has quickly adjusted from the beginning of the kiss. He's eased into it now and is ready to go for more. We saw him begin startled then quickly relax into her as the kiss goes on. Seems so natural like they've done this before. Reminds me of Chandler and Monica. When Joey/Rachel ask Chandler what he felt when he and Monica kissed after being friends for so long? Telling them felt like 'Why haven't we been doing this the entire time?' This kiss represents that line IMO.

Look at the way he is melting into her as he looks to deepens that kiss. He’s attached to her upper lip. We can see a little tongue too. Don't think I didn't see you slip that in Timothy heh. He is ready to take this further when their pseudo daughter walks in….I love it being Tim who deepened that kiss. Making that all important first move once again. Lucy wasn’t complaining one bit btw. Cracks me up how Tamara's first solution is to go. Let them have more time alone. I'm sure she's thought of them getting together before.

She doesn't seem terribly shocked by this so much as incredibly amused. How could she not with how they are? Then the awkward hilarity begins. I’ll never be over Lucy’s ‘Oh!’ As they fly apart from each other. Both trying to put a continent between them. It’s so damn funny. Went from hot and heavy to insanely embarrassed. The music stopping abruptly as well. Never fails to make me laugh my ass off. There is so much to love after the kiss as there is with it.

The way they scramble to explain why they were making out is priceless. Stumbling over their words and each other. Lucy trying to explain that this is 'Work' Uh huh. Sure let's call it that. Tim adding on they're going UC. Tamara is bemused to say the least. Telling them they don't have to explain themselves to her. Tim then starts looking desperately for items he didn’t bring LOL Then realizing he has nothing to gather up.

'You know what? No. I didn't bring anything...' LMFAO Flustered Tim Bradford is a joy to watch. Lucy already broke his brain earlier and then destroyed it with that kiss. You know he’s in love because that man doesn’t get flustered easily. He legit doesn’t know what to do with himself. Other than awkwardly retreat from Lucy. He is shook and it’s showing big time.

I love that he’s a complete disaster just from kissing Lucy. This entire scene is iconic and makes me so happy to watch. They awkwardly point at one another. For what reason I couldn't tell you. Other than they don't know what to do with themselves right now. The height of nervous awkwardness has arrived and I’m joyful Haha They’re both so embarrassed and flustered it’s glorious.

Lucy is flaming red after she tells Tim 'G...Good work tonight'. She is mortified she just said that to him after they made out. Tim replies in kind because he is also nervously awkward as he leaves. She can’t even look at him as he makes his hasty exit. Her back is turned to him as he departs and does another dorky finger point. Saying bye to Tamara as he does. Lucy's facial expressions are legit killing me. She then she turns around to face Tamara and it only gets worse.

Lucy has no idea what to say to being caught making out with Tim. Tamara's face in that second gif is hilarious. It's like she's giving Lucy a chance to explain herself further. Wanting to see what she'll come up with. She notices Lucy isn't in the right state of mind for answers. So Tamara saves her further embarrassment and says she’s headed to her room…Bless you. Your pseudo mother needed that LOL

We join Tim in the hallway post all of that mess haha. I once again must commend Eric and his wonderful expressions. He conveys so very much in this moment. It’s the range of emotions he expresses that is so impressive. He just nails it. This is the moment where Tim realizes his feelings for Lucy. Yes she short circuited his brain 100 percent here. But there is far more to this expression than that.

4x21 was Lucy’s epiphany episode. This is Tim’s 'Oh shit I’m in love with Lucy' moment. It’s like he finally has the answer to why he’s always felt the way he’s felt. Why he fought so hard for her not to wash out. Why he said and did things he didn’t totally understand for her. Explaining why he was so protective with her in UC. Why he was ALWAYS happier around her. Just like Lucy it’s hitting him like freight train. His feelings coming sharply into focus.

He goes from broken brain, to realization he’s in love with her, to oh shit I’m in love with my best friend...what am I going to do? The way his eye bug out a little as he comes to this conclusion is everything. That kiss cleared the skies in his brain. He can see clearly now and it scaring him a little. Everything was muddled before and now it’s clear as day. He looks back at her door before he is able to unroot himself from that spot. Tim Bradford is in love with Lucy Chen and it’s just hitting him ❤️

The awkward cuteness continues the next day. Tim is sitting in his truck with his thoughts. Probably having an existential crisis in the process tbh. I bet you he didn't sleep a wink last night either. Probably trapped in his thoughts the entire time. Also he is clearly just waiting for Lucy to appear. Which is pretty damn adorable.

He perks right up when she arrives. Makes me heart so happy actually. Giving me all the feels. He is so adorable waiting on the girl he loves so he can talk to her. They’re both so smitten at this point my heart is gonna implode. She spots him waiting in his truck. Then does her adorkable wave at him when he notices her looking at him. It's so cute I cannot. They’re both so nervous it’s beyond precious.

First off love them matching in colors. I feel this was intentional both being in light blue. Once they reach each other the air is rife with unresolved tension. They cut each other off both wanting to speak. Lucy tells him to go first. You can see Tim desperately wants to clear the air. Be vulnerable about the kiss. We see the hope on Lucy’s face as he struggles to find the words. That he is going to say that kiss unlocked something, that it was more than just a practice kiss etc.

That does seem where he is headed when he started this convo. Then our boy loses his nerve completely. Says they should work more on their backstory …You can see the sheer disappointment on Lucy’s face that he said that instead. Probably wishing she had gone first and not him. It’s ok Tim you’ll gain the courage in 5x08 don’t worry. My little awko tacos. How I love thee.

Phew lord that was daunting to write about and tackle haha The sheer volume of gifs out there for this one are immense. But damn I love their slow burn so very much and adore writing about it. Can’t believe we’re done with s4 what a trip.

~~~

Side notes-non chenford

Nolan had a SL but meh.

The only parts worth mentioning are Nell/Elroy being adorable. And how hilarious it was Pete slept through the entire fight scene for Bailey LOL

Thank you to all the readers been with me on this especially those from the very start. You know who you are :) Your likes, comments and reblogs have been a bright spot in my day shall see you all in S5 woo.

[mal3vol3nt]

Hey first of all, I love your blog. In a world full of Anti-Aang nonsense. Aang, Kataang and (real) Katara positivity is refreshing to see.

Secondly, Kataang is one of my favorite ships, I love the friends to lovers trope and I think they’re peak friends to lovers. However someone argued that that they don’t work as friends to lovers for a bunch a reasons, namely because we supposedly don’t see much of the friendship part of it and because of Aang acting entitled in EIP.

I personally think that (aside from maybe two episodes) Aang and Katara’s more than friendship feelings for each other were able to exist quite comfortably within their close friendship, namely because they had a strong sense of mutual respect, admiration and appreciation for each other and neither demanded that they like the other back.

What do you think?

This is the post BTW:

https://www.tumblr.com/ecoterrorist-katara/753864289132134400/kataang-friends-to-lovers?source=share

awe thank you anon <3

it’s serious business being out here defending aang and katara from ridiculously shitty fandom takes but somebody’s gotta do it 😮‍💨

——

the claim that kataang doesn’t work as friends to lovers because their friendship wasn’t made obvious enough is INSANEEE. the only way you could possibly come to that conclusion is if you didn’t even watch the show and formed all your atla opinions by reading fandom discourse on tumblr or twitter or tiktok, because the literal first 3 episodes of atla are the set up and build of their series-long friendship

BOOK 1, EPISODE 1: “The Boy in The Iceberg”

Aang: “Will you go penguin sledding with me?”

Katara: [Awkwardly] “Uh, sure… I guess.” -> they end up penguin sledding. it becomes the first thing they do together and it’s literally just them having fun and making each other laugh and smile

—

Katara: “Why are you smiling at me like that?”

Aang: “Oh I was smiling?” [Flattered, Katara smiles back]

—

Aang: “Appa and I can personally fly you to the North Pole. Katara, we’re going to find you a master!” -> knew her for a few hours at this point and was already offering to take her across the world so she could accomplish her dream of being a waterbender

—

Katara: [Happily] “I haven’t done this since I was a kid!”

Aang: “You still are a kid!”

—

Aang: “A hundred years!” [Saddened by his new discovery.] “I can’t believe it.”

Katara: [Squats beside him.] “I’m sorry, Aang. Maybe somehow there’s a bright side to all this…”

Aang: [Cheerfully.] “I did get to meet you!”

Katara: [Smiling warmly at him while offering her hand.] “Come on, let’s get you out of here.”

BOOK 1, EPISODE 2: “The Avatar Returns”

Katara: [Protesting.] “Aang didn’t do anything! It was an accident!” / Aang: [Sorrowfully.] “Don’t blame Katara. I brought her there. It’s my fault.” -> selflessly defending each other

—

Katara: [Pleading.] “Grandmother, please. Don’t let Sokka do this!”

Kanna: [Gravely] “Katara, you knew going on that ship was forbidden. Sokka is right. I think it best if the airbender leaves.”

Katara: [Outraged.] “Fine! Then I’m banished too!” [Drags Aang away.] “Come on Aang, let’s go.” -> she’s only known him for a few hours at this point

—

[Zuko fires another blast at Aang, who twirls his staff once again to ward the attack off. Cut to a shot of the villagers, who cower as the flames stream through the air over their heads. Aang widens his eyes in horror at the sight of the frightened villagers and immediately ceases to defend himself.]

Aang: “If I go with you, will you promise to leave everyone alone?”

[After a brief moment of hesitation, Zuko erects himself and nods in agreement. Aang is apprehended by Zuko's men, who take his staff. Katara runs forward as they lead Aang away.]

Katara: [Sadly.] “No! Aang, don’t do this!”

Aang: [Surprisingly calm.] “Don't worry, Katara. It'll be okay.” [He gasps when he is shoved on the walkway. Katara's face contorts with sadness and fright.] “Take care of Appa for me until I get back.”

[Cut to a shot of the villagers looking up at the ship, Aang standing at the top of walkway. Switch to a more up-close shot of him smiling weakly, surrounded by Fire Nation soldiers.]

[Cut to shot of Katara who looks up, tears in her eyes, before changing back to a shot of Aang who now frowns as the bow rises and closes. The screen blacks out as the bow is locked into place with a thud.]

now why do yall think these shots focused specifically on katara’s reactions to aang being taken away rather than sokka’s or literally anyone else? could it be because her and aang had an already formed connection at that point, making her reactions much more pivotal? i think soooo

and i’ve seen people argue that katara was more so worried about her waterbending progress being interfered with rather than worrying for aang himself. and i have a question for the people who think that cause what??

is katara a compassionate and selfless person, or is she someone who is purely motivated by her own gain? is she someone who yearns to see the good in everyone and offers them her kindness, or is she someone who only judges others based on how they can serve her goals? cause she can’t be both

from what canon shows us, she is an insanely compassionate and selfless person. she holds so much anger yet is still able to see the human and hurt in people, even those who have wronged her and done horrific things [re: offering to heal zuko’s scar]. so when she is watching aang—the boy who has simultaneously brought her a taste of fun and hope—be taken away by the same nation that killed her mother, why would she only be worried about her waterbending progress?

BOOK 1, EPISODE 3: “The Southern Air Temple”

[In the background, Sokka is hunched over his rock, clenching his teeth together. Katara shouts calmly with a sad expression on her face. The camera slowly moves in on her.]

Katara: “Aang! I know you're upset and I know how hard it is to lose the people you love. I went through the same thing when I lost my mom.” [Diverts her eyes. Shot switches to a frontal view of Aang, his tattoos glowing and wind swirling around him; his clothes flutter in the storm. Sokka runs over to his sister in the background.] “Monk Gyatso and the other airbenders may be gone,” [Close-up of her as she looks up at him.] “but you still have a family. Sokka and I!” [Sokka opens his eyes and glances at his sister.] “We're your family now!”

this. this is the moment where aang and katara (and sokka—mind you) are permanently intertwined. they were initially able to relate on them both being benders, then it was the realization that they didn’t want to leave the other (katara protesting aang’s banishment and aang remorsefully leaving / katara going after zuko’s ship to rescue him), and now it’s their ability to relate to devastating loss. katara can relate to his grief at finding gyatso gone, and she can understand his turmoil at realizing the other airbenders were not given a more merciful fate. she does what she can to lessen his pain, at least for the moment, and tells him that despite his loss he is still not alone. he still has a place in the world with her and sokka

it is this moment that acts as the foundation for the deep connection her, aang, and sokka have throughout the entire series. they are friends and they are a found family. they care for each other on such a deep level. kanna says it herself in episode 2, “You both found him for a reason. Now your destinies are intertwined with his.”

and this connection does not lessen throughout the rest of the series, if anything, it gets stronger as they go through harrowing misadventures together and are forced into life-threatening situations where one or two of them have to work quick to save another’s life. if yall seriously think that them arguing/disagreeing or not being on the same page regarding emotional moments in their journey is a sign of their friendship not being strong then you’re actually just intentionally being obtuse

——

ive touched on my thoughts on the ember island players episode before and the whole interaction that went down between aang and katara during the intermission, but i don’t mind reiterating and maybe expanding on it a little

before i can dive in, we all gotta be in agreement that the eip play was yes, a satire meant to poke fun at the fandom, but was also an in-show racist and propaganda-filled depiction of the characters

outside of the show’s canon, aang was played by a woman to make a joke about how women always voice little boys in media. but in the show’s canon, aang being played by a woman was… say it with me, RACIST!! think about it, a play made and created for a fire nation audience chose to cast the sole survivor of a genocide their nation executed as a woman—fire nation sexism coming through hot—and portrayed him as ditzy. (and yes, i know that some male characters are often played by women because women are lighter and therefore easier to lift to portray flight—take peter pan for example—but this is clearly much more than that and i beg yall to not act obtuse in my replies/reblogs.) let’s not pretend like this casting choice wasn’t also an intentional slight at aang as not just the avatar but as an airbender. this is further emphasized when people laugh at aang being revealed as a woman. when colonizers decide to portray their victim as ditzy and incompetent in a play, don’t you think that’s a tell of the racist propaganda they’ve been fed by their nation? hmmm… i certainly think so. so when yall get mad at aang for his clear displeasure at being played by a woman, i beg yall to apply some critical thinking before just deciding to label him a sexist

katara’s character was also a racist portrayal. colonizers depicting their victim as a busty, sexualized crybaby who enters a relationship with their banished prince, and then having her vocalize that she could never be with the avatar, another victim of their colonialism, because he is like a brother to her. why do you think they would portray katara like this and have her say that specific line? could it be propaganda and some sort of racist fantasy to see a water tribe woman dress so provocatively and behave so helplessly? and then, in an effort to take another shot at aang’s legitimacy as a male (because again, aang and the airbenders did not follow normal gender conventions that were clearly present in the fire nation), they have the helpless water tribe character deny she could possibly have feelings for the likes of him and fall into the arms of fire nation royalty. hmmm, now why would colonizers perform a play where a colonized, marginalized woman enters a relationship with her colonizer? probably because it would be more entertaining—and dehumanizing—for their audience to witness a fetishized version of her entering a relationship with their prince. because regardless of his banishment, zuko is still of fire nation royalty and is, compared to aang and katara, of superior blood. give me a fucking break

i implore yall to use critical thinking when discussing why aang would have such a large reaction to a play that is consistently taking a shit on him as the avatar and, more importantly, as an airbender. cause yall do such a disservice to yourselves when you downplay aang’s reaction to him just throwing a jealous tantrum cause his character didn’t get to kiss katara’s character in the play

now onto their interaction:

BOOK 3, EPISODE 17: “The Ember Island Players”

Aang: “Katara, did you really mean what you said in there?”

Katara: “In where? What are you talking about?”

Aang: “On stage, when you said I was just like a ... brother to you, and you didn't have feelings for me.”

Katara: “I didn't say that. An actor said that.”

Aang: “But it's true, isn't it? We kissed at the Invasion, and I thought we were gonna be together. But we're not.”

Katara: “Aang, I don't know.”

Aang: “Why don't you know?”

here, aang is wanting some kind of clarification as to where katara stands on their relationship. he isn’t demanding that she feel the same as he does. he just wants to know for sure if there’s anything there considering they’ve kissed and nothing has risen from it. yes, he is obviously sad and dejected, but he is not demanding that katara return his affections. he just wants to have the conversation

(also, note how when aang brings up the actress saying that aang is like a brother to her and she has no feelings for him, katara chooses to deny that she ever said that rather than to simply take that as an opportunity to let him down had it been the actual truth. likely because it isn’t true—she does have feelings for him—but doesn’t want to take that jump yet)

Katara: “Because, we're in the middle of a war, and, we have other things to worry about. This isn't the right time.”

Aang: “Well, when is the right time?”

Katara: “Aang, I'm sorry, but right now I'm just a little confused.”

[Aang tries to kiss Katara.]

Katara: “I just said I was confused! I'm going inside.” [Exits the balcony.]

Aang: [Frustrated.] “Ugh, I'm such an idiot!” [Puts down his head on the balcony railing.]

here is where them being on two different pages becomes very obvious. aang wants clarity on their relationship whereas katara is unable to and hesitant to give him that because of everything going on around them. she is worried about the outcome of the war and doesn’t want anything to distract either of them from the bigger picture. a valid concern to have, mind you

allow me to bring up the crossroads of destiny for a moment. we all know what happened there: aang unlocked all his chakras and katara watched in awe as he, in the avatar state, rose above them all. she then watched in absolute horror and heartbreak as he was struck with lightening and fell—dead. she, in a hurry, created and rode on a large wave above the dai li to get to aang quickly, catching him in her arms and sitting brokenly on the floor, tears falling down her face. azula and zuko approached them and katara made no move to fight against them, her arms being preoccupied with aang’s body and her mind all over the place after watching her best friend die. had it not been for iroh’s interference, i’m sure it would have been the end for both aang and katara

outside while on appa, katara holds aang delicately to her as she gives him the spirit water and then proceeds to let out a sob as she hugs him to her. when aang groans, she gasps and pulls from him slightly, laying him down against appa’s fur so she can see his face. he opens his eye briefly, smiling at the sight of her and katara beams. her face is the definition of pure joy and relief

now what was the reason aang had to master the avatar state midst battle? why were his chakras not fully unlocked at that time? he left to go save her. he had been in the process of letting her go before he got distracted by the vision of her in danger and had promptly turned away. it wasnt until the battle with zuko and azula was coming to a defeat that he knew he had to master the avatar state now. which led to azula shooting him while rising in the avatar state

obviously, katara wouldn’t be aware that this happened, but the message was still clear. aang’s feelings for katara had gotten in the way of him mastering the avatar state at the safety of the eastern air temple, interfering with his destiny and leading to him mastering it whilst in the midst of battle—resulting in the death of the avatar. katara refusing to enter a relationship with aang or even to have that important conversation with him before the end of the war due to her fear that it’d be a distraction was real and valid

not only that, but katara had already watched him die before and was lucky to have the spirit water at hand. if aang were to get fatally injured anytime between then and during the battle with ozai, there’d be nothing to bring him back. he’d be gone permanently. it’s no wonder why katara was choosing to put all her energy and focus into ending the war because any distraction or moment of weakness could’ve meant the end for aang, who was the one destined to either stop the war or die trying. it was truly life or death for him, so of course katara chose to put anything not pertinent to the war ending on the back burner

aang, on the otherhand, had died during the crossroads of destiny without telling her how he felt. he was so close to leaving the world without letting her know how much he cared for her that he didn’t want to make the same mistake again. therefore, he thought it better to reveal all his cards to her which she obviously wasn’t ready for. he wanted to be in love and bask in whatever time he had with her left if the worst case scenario became reality

unfortunately, this disconnect in their approaches to what happened back in ba sing se resulted in them stepping on each other’s toes and behaving awkwardly around each other, with aang dejected at the lack of clarity on her feelings and katara avoiding the conversation due to her own confusion at the mix of her feelings—having feelings for him but also being fearful of being with him for the reasons stated above. this culminated in aang misreading the situation, as they’ve kissed spontaneously before, and kissing her during this interaction. katara gets rightfully upset, leaves, and aang groans in frustration at himself for being such an idiot

aang made a stupid, stupid mistake and no longer pursues her after this interaction. their difference in approaches to their feelings has met its culmination and now they’re at a standstill. aang does not demand—nor has he ever demanded—that katara be with him. the conversation about where they stand with each other is dropped, as now both of them must focus on sozin’s comet.

at the end of “Sozin’s Comet, Part 4: Avatar Aang”, katara and aang share a final kiss. before that, aang goes outside the jasmine dragon by himself to gaze upon the setting sun. katara follows after him and aang gives her a smile. the two embrace each other, opening their eyes to gaze longingly at the other before separating to look at the setting sun together. katara then turns to aang, aang turns to her in return. she leans in and kisses him, cupping his face, and aang kisses back. he leans into the kiss and katara wraps her arms around his neck

katara was the one to take the initiative in their final kiss. she was the one to start their post-series relationship, which we all know resulted in marriage and 3 children

——

kataang does fit the friends to lovers plot line since they started off as friends with intertwined destines and became more. it just so happened that they developed feelings for each other during the course of their adventures, and these feelings clashed with the realities of the war they were at the frontlines of, resulting in miscommunications and mistakes

now, you don’t have to like kataang. that’s completely fine, but to suggest that they don’t fit a trope that they’re literally the definition of is crazzyyyy. cmon, please just watch the show before forming your opinions

[howlsofbloodhounds]

Alright so the post about the idea of Delta being severely depressed and attempting su*cide by sneaking into a battle between the Stars and Nightmare, and tries to kill Nightmare by giving it his Whole Ass Everything has been living in my head rent free and makes me ask two questions.

1. If the "good ending" happened and everyone lived, how would Color and Epic react to Delta's attempt? (Especially knowing that Beta would have had to allow the body to die as well, meaning that the poor kid was ok with death?) How could they (Color and Epic) possibly attempt to cope with the fact that their best friend(s) was going to commit suicide and didn't want to tell anyone because they didn't want to be any more of a burden than they had to be, in their (Delta/Beta's) view?

2. If the "bad ending" happened, how would they react to his death?

(I was also thinking about how Zorox would be affected but then I decided it was too sad to put a dog through that lmao, so we're gonna leave him out of this one)

Zorox paws at delta’s bedroom door. sleeps in front of the door. will sleep on the bed if anyone opens the door, drags delta and beta’s old clothes out of the drawers and closet and whimpers when anyone tries to take them back (likely to clean them.) he whines all night at the closed door of delta’s workshop/garage.

whenever taken to their gravesites he just slumps down on the ground nearby and whines like hes been stabbed. He barks and panics whenever epic and color are gone too long and probably develops separation anxiety. he probably keeps trying to constantly linger around color and do specific things he only did for delta and beta (like lying on their lap or chest for deep pressure) and color suspects its because of the bravery soul he absorbed.

dogs cats and animals in general are said to be sensitive to the supernatural and the like. perhaps he sense the bits of colors bravery soul and its familiar.

can see a scene where zorox can sense epics pain and grief despite how epics constantly doing everything to pretend that hes not in as much pain as he is. hes constantly making his jokes and memes and trying to focus on avoiding the topic and changing the subject and avoiding sleep more often than not and forgetting to eat.

and zorox keeps doing his old alerts that he used to do for beta and delta for epic and color now and he keeps pushing and pushing epic to eat or sit or drink and color may be too simply because he shifted gears into full caretaker mode and is trying to avoid feeling the anguish—both his and epics—that he can feel building in his chest.

and I don’t maybe there’s a scene like from mockingjay, the one with Katniss and buttercup. This scene. with zorox and either color or epic.

as for if delta and beta survived (especially if they’re injured) I feel like colors gonna immediately turn on that therapist/mother henning instinct. i feel like hed be treating their injuries and hed have tears in his eye because the thought of how much pain they must’ve been in to make that decision, how he “didn’t notice,” is fucking painful.

and i feel like beta and delta are going to feel so guilty and ashamed and constantly avoiding looking color in the eye. (honestly i like to think that colors just the type of person no one really likes making or watching or listening to him cry (except for nightmare) especially delta and epic and beta.

especially not in this situation, where he could’ve lost two more friends to the likes of nightmare. fighting and struggling to save and protect killer from him was traumatic and stressful on its own. the thought of losing anyone else to nightmare is terrifying and makes him so angry.)

i feel like delta and beta might have an easier time meeting epics eye, if only because he has that ability to make people laugh. and because they dont have the added feeling of guilt of having made him cry (they did epic just knows how to hide it).

epic would probably try to hide any pain from this under a joke and a meme, expressing his worry and concern and care of course.

but i feel like he wouldn’t allow the two to see how deeply it effected him and colors probably the one who’s aware of it and holds him whenever he allows himself a cry or wants to have a serious talk about it. (please feel free to chime in and add more onto this i feel like my brain stuttered to a stop near the end 🙏)

(side note but do yall think killer would call color pretty and beautiful whenever he cries. and like when hes wiping away colors tears and probably nuzzles or kisses his cheeks. like hes a sadistic little freak would he find colors crying pretty in certain situations.)

[livesonthebside]

A couple of months ago, my penpal asked me if I had any favourite poems/quotes that could be read over the graves of men from the FE. He didn’t find any this year, but in honour of Fitzjames, I thought I would post some of my selections:

Terror & Erebus by Gwendolyn McEwan:

This is the end of science.

We left it behind us,

A graph in the snow, a horrible cipher, a desperate code.

And the sun cannot read, and the snow cannot either

Franklin's Passage by David Solway:

We know differently.

Ice is meant to be grappled with,

broken through,

trudged over,

listened to,

died on.

We know this, too.

The Northwest Passage

is where it always was.

It is here right beneath our feet.

Northwest Passage by James Pollock

When you set out to find your Northwest Passage

and cross to an empty region of the map

with a headlong desire to know what lies beyond,

sailing the thundering ice-fields on the ocean,

feeling her power move you from below;

when all summer the sun’s hypnotic eye

won’t blink, and the season slowly passes, an endless

dream in which you’re forever diving into pools,

fame’s image forever rising up to meet you;

when the fall comes, at last, triumphantly,

and you enter Victoria’s narrow frozen Strait,

and your Terror and Erebus freeze in the crushing floes;

in that long winter night among the steeples

of jagged ice, and the infinite, empty plain of wind and snow,

when the sea refuses to be reborn in spring,

three winters pass without a thaw, and the men,

far from their wives and children, far from God,

are murdering one another over cards;

when blue gums, colic, paralysis of the wrists

come creeping indiscriminately among you;

and you leave the ships, and set out on the ice,

dragging the lifeboats behind, loaded

with mirrors and soap, slippers and clocks,

into the starlit body of the night,

with your terrible desire to know what lies beyond;

then, half-mad, snow blind, even then,

before you kill the ones who’ve drawn the fatal lots,

and take your ghastly communion in the snow,

may you stumble at last upon some band of Inuit

hauling their catch of seal across the ice,

and see how foolish you have been:

forcing your way by will across a land

that can’t be forced, but must be understood,

toward a passage just now breaking up within.

Some pro-explorer poetry was On First Looking Into Chapman’s Homer by Keats

Much have I travell'd in the realms of gold,

And many goodly states and kingdoms seen;

Round many western islands have I been

Which bards in fealty to Apollo hold.

Oft of one wide expanse had I been told

That deep-brow'd Homer ruled as his demesne;

Yet did I never breathe its pure serene

Till I heard Chapman speak out loud and bold:

Then felt I like some watcher of the skies

When a new planet swims into his ken;

Or like stout Cortez when with eagle eyes

He star'd at the Pacific—and all his men

Look'd at each other with a wild surmise—

Silent, upon a peak in Darien.

and The Imitation of Christ, because it’s the origin of the title of the Edwin Landseer painting:

According to our resolution so is the rate of our progress, and much diligence is needful for him who would make good progress. For if he who resolveth bravely oftentimes falleth short, how shall it be with him who resolveth rarely or feebly? But manifold causes bring about abandonment of our resolution, yet a trivial omission of holy exercises can hardly be made without some loss to us. The resolution of the righteous dependeth more upon the grace of God than upon their own wisdom; for in Him they always put their trust, whatsoever they take in hand. For man proposeth, but God disposeth; and the way of a man is not in himself.

And my personal fave, I'm Going Back to Minnesota Where Sadness Makes Sense by Danez Smith:

Have you ever stood on a frozen lake?

The sun above you, the snow & stalled sea - a field of mirror

all demanding to be the sun too, everything around you

is light & it’s gorgeous & if you stay too long it will kill you

& it’s so sad, you know? You’re the only warm thing for miles

& the only thing that can’t shine.

[asirensrage]

Hindsight (Rewrite) - Haitani Ran x Reader

Title: Hindsight (the rewrite)

Rating: Explicit

Fandom: Tokyo Revengers

Pairing: Haitani Ran x Undescribed!Female Reader (side of Takeomi x OC)

Warnings: Dark!Fic. Sex. Oral sex. Dubcon in terms of forced relationships. Obsession. Swearing. Manipulation. Mention of illegal activities and threats. Mention of proposals and pregnancy. Being used as collateral. Unbeta’d.

Word count: ~3800

Summary: You were always going to end up here. She was never going to be allowed to leave and you were just lucky that he saw you as more than just collateral. Based on the prompt: “It doesn’t matter what you think. You’re mine. You always have been.”

Notes: My friend read the original and offered suggestions, including actually writing the sex scene. I couldn't decide if I wanted to just edit the post with the original version or delete it completely. It was recommended just to make a new post. If you've read the original, a fair bit of this will be familiar.

Original notes: The idea of being used as collateral for someone else, especially to keep them in a relationship, has been in my mind for a while and I wanted to write a oneshot for Ran. So put them together and this is how it turned out. It’s a bit sad when you actually think about it…so be warned.

Heed the warnings!

You can’t help but wonder if your sister looks at the events that have led you both here and regrets it. After all, the only reason you ended up here was because of her. You were the good one. You were trying to do things right but it didn’t matter. She was your sister and no matter where she went, you ended up following. 

An arm lands on your shoulders, pulling you in against a chest. You feel his lips press against your hair. “Not hiding from me, are you?”

You force yourself to try to relax, even as you wrap your arms around your waist. You’re not used to the dress you’re wearing and despite the warmth of him, you’re still cold. “Just getting some air,” you finally say. 

“Come. Takeomi’s here.”

You look at him at that. With Takeomi came your sister. How long has it been since you’ve seen each other? She tried to escape the last time, tried to plan a distraction to get you as far away from Bonten as possible. It didn’t work. You don’t know what happened except that her punishment was more severe than yours. The two of you had been barred from seeing each other for weeks. 

“See? I can be nice,” he says, turning you back and leading you into the building. 

“I know.” You say it because that’s what he wants to hear. 

The party is still going strong when you go inside. Thankfully it’s not one of the clubs he likes to drag you to. Instead, you’re playing arm candy as he charms some of the important people of Japan who are already neck-deep involved with Bonten. Most of them made that choice freely. It makes you a little sick if you think about it. Your gaze slides over the crowd until you see the one person you’re searching for. 

“Can I go see her?” you ask. 

He doesn’t say yes but he does wrap his arm around your waist and takes you toward them. When you get close, you can see her properly for the first time in months. Yua looks terrible but the only reason you can tell is because you know her so well. Her makeup is perfect and the dress fits her like a glove, but she’s a little thinner than she used to be and you can see how her eyes are less vibrant. Takeomi has an arm wrapped around her, his other hand holds a cigarette and drink. It looks casual and flirty but you know that it’s a chain. A sign of ownership as clear as the necklace you wear. 

Takeomi had fallen for your sister when you were young, promised that he’d take care of her, of both of you, and then never let her go. As much as she tried to keep you a secret, you found yourself dragged in front of the Executives to officially meet them. Yua couldn’t meet your eyes that night and Ran hadn’t left you alone since. 

Your heart clenches at the way your sister looks to Takeomi for permission and you move forward before she can ask him. You couldn’t bear to hear it. Ran lets you out of his grasp and you hug her tightly. She clutches you back just as hard. 

“You okay?” you ask softly. 

“Yeah, you?”

“Yeah.”

You let go, stepping back into Ran’s embrace and leaning against him. A small price for the favour he’s granted you. He holds you as tightly as Takeomi holds her. 

“Didn’t think you were coming,” Ran says, smiling at Takeomi. “Didn’t you say these things weren’t your scene?”

“Someone’s gotta keep you in line,” the other man answers. “Especially since your brother is otherwise…occupied.” He glances at you. “We have news for you too.”

“Me?” You blink and look between him and your sister. She straightens and smiles. It doesn’t look forced, reminding you of what she was like when they were first together. Before she found out how deeply involved he was. Before she was forced to introduce you to them all. 

Yua reaches out and touches your hand. “Not here. We’ll plan something soon, okay? Get together just the…four of us. Then we can talk, okay?” 

“Okay,” you agree. There’s no new ring on her finger so it can’t be that. Besides, you’re the only one left in the family and Takeomi seems old-fashioned enough to ask for the family’s blessing before he proposes. You hope. Not that saying no would make any difference. 

“Come on, darling,” Ran says, pulling you away. “Let’s continue our rounds.” 

When you get home, you’re exhausted. Your heart aches. Mingling with people who praise Bonten, as if they don’t know half the shit these men have their hands in, wears you down. It’s partly why you hate going to them. The other half is having to play up being Ran’s loving partner. At least at home, you don’t have to pretend. 

You go through the motions, placing your heels in your shoe closet, removing your jewelry and attempting to undo the zipper on your dress before giving in and searching for him. Ran is in the bathroom, already running the bath and undressing himself. His eyes meet yours in the mirror and despite knowing why you’ve come to him, he waits until you ask. 

“Can you get my zipper? Please?” 

His reflection smirks before he moves behind you. You grab your hair, pulling it out of the way. His fingers brush along the collar before he holds one edge and slowly pulls down the zipper. Fingers trail softly along your spine before he leans down and kisses your neck. “You were so good tonight,” he murmurs. “So beautiful. You know how many of those men wanted to take you home? To fuck you?” 

“No,” you say softly. His words are nothing new. He loves being the center of attention and having other people’s jealousy just adds to it. That’s why he dresses you in the most fashionable clothes he can buy. He thinks you’re sexy and wants everyone else to see it too. 

“And only I get that honour.” He tilts your head back so he can kiss you. You lean into it, opening your mouth so he can deepen it like you know he wants. “Come on,” he says when he finally breaks it. “The water is just the way you like it.” 

He helps you out of your clothes and motions you to the bath. It’s hot, but just as hot as Ran can stand. It’s not enough to burn him out of your skin. You sink into it, closing your eyes as you lean back. You can hear the soft sounds of Ran undressing, his clothes hitting the floor before he picks them up and folds them. The two of you are the same in that way, taking care of the things you have because you know what it means to not have any of them. 

“You gonna give me some space?” he teases and you open your eyes, moving forward automatically. The water splashes as he moves in behind you. It takes some positioning before the two of you are comfortable, but the bathtub is large enough to fit both of you. He made sure of it once you told him how much you prefer them. 

Ran moves you to lean back against him. You’re warm and comfortable and tired. His fingers follow maps against your skin that only he knows. You close your eyes and try to relax, but your mind replays the image of your sister. 

He kisses your neck. “What are you thinking about?”

“My sister. Just wondering what they want to talk about.”

“Maybe they’ll get married.”

You try to look at him. “You think so?”

“That or he finally knocked her up.” 

You freeze. A child would be permanent. You know Yua. There’d be no leaving with that. Not that either of you were ever getting away from these men. They had a chokehold on both of you. 

“You like that idea?” He murmurs against your skin. “Want one of our own?” 

“I–” you swallow tightly. “I don’t know. I never thought of kids.” It’s a lie. You don’t want one. You don’t want his. “Have you?”

His hand moves to splay his fingers across your stomach. “You’d look fucking hot pregnant.” It’s not an answer. “But then, you’ve always looked hot.”

You lean back against him. “You think we’re going to be together forever?” you ask softly. 

“Yes,” he answers with complete self-assuredness. He stills though when you don’t answer. “What? You don’t agree?” There’s a tension in his tone that warns you. 

“I don’t know. I haven’t really thought about it.” 

“It doesn’t matter what you think. You’re mine. You always have been.” The words come so easily, like he doesn’t condemn you every time he says it. 

“Always?” You can’t help but ask. You remember meeting the Executives and the way Yua whispered to you to stay quiet and not noticeable. She said to let her do the talking. She was going to introduce you and then you’d leave and she’d take you out to lunch in payment. 

You already knew Takeomi from her dating him. You liked him well enough, he occasionally took both of you out and made his own younger sister join so you’d have someone near your age to talk to when Yua brought you over. 

He introduced you to his coworkers. They weren’t that much older than you at the time, mid-twenties to your early twenties, but Ran flirted with you the moment Yua was distracted. You tried to keep your promise, to stay silent and uninteresting, but he flustered you and you both knew it. You couldn’t help but wonder if Yua was overreacting about it with they way they all spoke to you and by the time you left, it was too late. Nothing your sister could do protected you from his interest. You were so fucking stupid. 

“I knew you before we met,” he says. “Takeomi was always happy to go home to his long-term girlfriend and one day, he showed us pictures of some outing he took you both on when you were younger. Before Bonten was a thing. You were so cute,” he reaches up and pinches your cheek, laughing when you swat him away. “When he said your sister was thinking of leaving him, adamant to keep you out of it, well…we were all interested. I just got there first.” 

You frown at that. It’s likely not the complete truth. He never tells you the complete truth, but there’s enough in it for you to decipher. Takeomi was the one who gave you up. Likely in an effort to control Yua, especially since she had admitted she was considering breaking things off. It was getting too dangerous. But once Ran had you in his sights, you got swept into their current and there was no escape for the two of you. There never would be. 

“Let’s wash up and get to bed. Unless there’s an emergency, I don’t have to go in tomorrow. You get me all to yourself,” he teases. 

“Just what I wanted.” If he hears the sarcasm in your voice, he ignores it. You reach for the soap and hand it back to him.

Despite all his flamboyance and desire for fame, the one thing you know you can appreciate about Ran is his desire to sleep. He keeps your bed as comfortable as possible, including the highest quality sheets he can find. It’s tempting to sink into it, but once you dry off, you sit on the edge of the bed and grab the lotion. Ran takes it from you and kneels. You watch as he rests one of your feet on his leg and lathers the cream on. He does it carefully, even though you can see the exhaustion in his eyes. He takes his time to make sure you're taken care of. It would be sweet if you had come into this relationship more naturally, if you didn’t know that there was always going to be the threat hanging above your head, waiting for the final wrong move you make. 

You don’t move as he sets the cream aside. You know that look in his eyes, the way his pupils are starting to get blown out as his hands slide up your thighs. He leans forward, kissing you gently before tugging at your bottom lip with his teeth. He grins when he hears you whimper.

“You were so good tonight,” he says. You know that he means the way you interacted with your sister, the way you came back to him over and over. Violet eyes meet yours and your breath hitches at the promise in his next words. “Think you deserve a reward.” 

“Aren’t you tired?” you ask just as softly, trying to dissuade him from what you know he’s trying to do. “It’s been a long night.”

His lips move to your neck, still too soft for your liking. He’s trying to tease you, to build up the tension and praise you for something you only do out of fear. It’s so fucked up but it doesn’t stop you from letting him push you back to lay on the bed. 

“Not long enough,” he murmurs. 

“Ran.”

“You’re so beautiful,” he says. One of his hands takes yours, lacing your fingers together as he presses it down against the bed. He uses his other one to shift your thighs open wider so he can rest between them. “You know you’re mine, don’t you?”

“Yeah,” you breathe. It’s the only thing you know he wants to hear. “Only yours.” You tie yourself tighter to him every time you say it but you’re starting to feel like you deserve it. Another nail in your coffin.

He kisses you again, this time harder, slightly more desperate and demanding. “So fucking good,” he mutters. 

You’re not sure if it’s relief or regret that settles in your stomach. He’s being kind, doting on you because you came back to him and didn’t make a scene at the event. The way your heart flutters at the praise makes you a bit sick. He’s always been good at making you focus on him, promising that no one else could take care of you like he can. 

His lips trail down your chest, leaving wet kisses until he reaches your breasts and takes a nipple in his mouth. Heat flares in your stomach. You arch into him without thinking, chasing the sparks of pleasure that race down your spine as he sucks a mark into the side of it. His free hand, the one not still laced with your fingers, squeezes your other breast. You close your eyes, wanting to lose yourself in the feeling. The weight of him is oddly comforting and familiar, even as you catch traces of smoke and cologne that have settled in his unwashed hair. 

“Ran, please…” He likes it when you beg. He’s told you over and over. The same way he loves hearing his name on your lips. 

“Hmm?” He breaks away from leaving marks on your skin to look at you. “Begging me so prettily already?” He smirks, knowing exactly what he’s doing to you. “You already wet for me, darling?” He shifts slightly, moving so he can place one hand up between your legs and curl his fingers in. “You are!” He grins at that. “You know exactly who you belong to, don’t you?”

You don’t even hesitate in answering. If you give him what he wants, he’ll give you more. You can escape into the pleasure he brings, if only for a moment. “You.” 

He doesn’t respond. He moves, shifting your legs wider before he kneels before you and buries his head between your thighs. He finally lets go of your hand, yanking you closer to him as his tongue licks its way in. Ran knows exactly how to make you crumble, how to beg for a release only he’ll give. It’s not long before he’s demanding you keep your eyes on him, while he brings you to the brink of your orgasm before pulling back just enough to stop you from reaching it. He does it again and again until you feel like you’re going to cry. 

“Please, Ran. Please, please please don’t stop.” You shouldn’t want him at all and you know you’re just going to feel awful after, but you’re breathless and begging and it somehow makes it ten times better and a thousand times worse. You don’t even fucking care. Not when you’re so close. 

“You want to cum, pretty?” 

“Yes!”

“Tell me what I want to hear.” He’s demanded it every time since you got caught trying to run, since your sister attempted to steal you back from him. Ran likes you like this, under him and remembering exactly where he thinks you belong. He likes to hold you on the brink until you swear that you’re his, only his, and you’ll never leave. Right now, you don’t care. 

“I’m yours! Only yours!” 

He pulls away, resting his head on your thigh as he looks up at you. His purple eyes are dark with arousal and the promises you’re sprouting. “Only mine?”

“Yes!”

“You ever gonna leave?”

“No! Never,” you tell him. “Never again!”

“Promise?” he sounds like he’s teasing you. He turns his head and nips at the skin of your leg. 

“I swear!” 

“Then cum.” He uses his fingers, curling them up and leaning forward to flick his tongue against your clit. Your legs and stomach clench as you try not to scream, lost in the feeling of him as he forces you headfirst into the orgasm he’s been denying you. 

He pulls back to let you breathe, but it doesn’t last long. He moves so he’s leaning over you again, grinning at your blissed-out expression as he smoothes back any hair that clings to the sweat on your face. “See? I can be nice,” he repeats his words from earlier, driving in the reminder of why he’s doing this tonight. “Love seeing you like this.” 

You reach for the back of his neck and pull him down into a kiss before he can tell you that he loves you. He returns it enthusiastically, before helping you adjust yourself further back on the bed. His kisses are possessive and demanding and enough to remind you that he’s not unaffected. You like hearing him swear when he presses himself into you, burying his head in your neck and telling you how good you feel, that you’re “fucking made for me, aren’t ya?” 

It doesn’t take long before you both break. His grip tightens as he groans and you hold him closer, trying to breathe to come down from the endorphin high. You ignore the way he presses his forehead against yours, how he exhales into your mouth before kissing you again. It’s softer this time, calmer, taking his time to make you feel him. Remind you how he convinced you to let him this close the first time. 

You can forget everything when he touches you like this, especially the weight of the chain he holds around your neck. It never seems that bad when you are panting for breath, when you feel like he is breaking at your touch and the two of you are just lost in each other for that moment. 

Time stops for that instant before regret curdles in your stomach at the way you’ve given in to him. Again. 

“Can you move?” you ask softly. “You’re kinda heavy.” 

“Calling me fat?” he teases, kissing you quickly again before he pulls out and away from you. You wince at the loss of him, at the way you feel empty now. He helps you stand before leading you back to the bathroom so you can both clean up. “Should have fucked you before the bath,” he muses. He looks tired now, slouching against the sink as he waits for you to finish. “Or in the bath.”

“Think of the mess,” you point out. Neither of you would want to clean up the water you know would spill on the floor.

“That’s true.” He watches you with half-lidded eyes and a pleased look on his face. He’s won again. You both know it. He moves behind you, pressing his chest against your back before leaning down slightly and curling a hand around your throat. You pause from washing your hands and meet his eyes in the mirror. He squeezes slightly, just another reminder that he holds you, before letting go and kissing the side of your neck 

“Come on,” he says. “Let’s get some sleep.” 

You crawl into bed on your side and once you’re both settled, he pulls you into him, curling around you so that he can hold you. Ran inhales softly, murmuring how good you smell before he buries his face in your neck. He seems to fall asleep instantly but you know from previous experience that the moment you try to get out of bed, he’ll wake up. He always does. 

You can feel sleep pulling on you, dragging you down, but reality creeps back into your thoughts. Shame settles with every movement that Ran makes trying to get closer to you. You know you shouldn’t regret it, that you have little choice when it comes to the man, but it’s so easy to give in. Even when you know you shouldn’t. That every time you do, he’s chipping away at your resistance, that one day you’ll stop needing to choose your reactions carefully because the ones that please him will come naturally. You’ll be twisted to be what he wants. 

Maybe it would be easier that way. Maybe that’s what’s happening to your sister…and then you’d be allowed to see her again. Properly. Without chaperones who are half there to protect you and half there to report on everything the two of you do. Maybe the threat of either one of you being killed or punished because of the other wouldn’t matter. 

The realization settles in you. If either of you had known that this was what your future held, Yua would have never accepted that date with Takeomi. Just to keep you out of it. After all, that was the problem when you got involved with gangs. It was never just you. You get in deep enough and it takes everything you love with you. If only to hold it against you. 

But it doesn’t matter. You can’t change the past. Even if you could rewrite history, you know these men. It would still play out exactly how they wanted it to. No matter what either of you tried. Every path she’d take would have ended up here and you were always going to follow. They’d make sure of it. You are always going to be lost in their promises, in his touch, in the reminder that you’ve always been his, whether or not you’ve known. 

You let yourself sink into Ran’s warmth and the sound of his breathing, and fall asleep in his arms, cradled between your regrets and the man who claims you.

gen taglist: @raith-way @chickensarentcheap @residentdormouse @themaradwrites @kingsmakers @far-shores

[startrekfangirl2233-writes]

Catfish and Dog Cemeteries

Chapter Nine of Sweet Home Alabama

Jake ‘Hangman’ Seresin x OC (Linley Mitchell/Floyd), Bradley ‘Rooster’ Bradshaw x OC (Linley Mitchell/Floyd)

Description: The Annual Pigeon Creek Catfish Festival is always your favorite event of the summer. Being back here after seven years feels different. It should be a consolation that you're only going to be in Pigeon Creek for a few days more. But instead, another encounter with an old friend makes you question everything you thought you knew about your soon-to-be ex-husband. A chance encounter with the man himself makes you question everything else in your life, too.

Themes: love, attraction, angst, sex, cheating, lying

Warnings: discussions of grief, discussions of miscarriage, discussions of animal death

Word Count: 2665

A/N: This chapter is one of the saddest in this entire fic. I know, I know. It's awfully hypocritical of me to say that when most of Sweet Home Alabama (the movie) is really really sad. This is the chapter I sobbed while writing. It's also the first time Jake and Linley address the pain they have put each other through. I hope you love it!

Thanks to the gorgeous @desert-fern for reading over this chapter and smacking my imposter syndrome demon when it refused to give up.

AO3: Cross-posted here!

Wattpad: Cross-posted here!

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Pigeon Creek's Catfish Festival is busier than you've ever seen it when you pull up and park your rental car on Main Street the next day. The festival used to be your favorite day of the summer, the one day during summer vacation when you could run free and eat as much candy and fried things as you wanted. You walk through the crowd on autopilot, walking down the line at the buffet until your plate is filled with all of the things you never actually let yourself eat anymore, and slip a twenty into the donation jar at the end of the table. The fried fish and steaming french fries had looked so good that you couldn’t stop yourself. 

But as you stand in the grass with your plate in your hand, it reminds you of something else. Nobody in Pigeon Creek likes you very much. Everyone you know is chatting and laughing and enjoying the good food. Yet you’re still the outsider. Like you were before Jake became your best friend like you have been every minute of every day since you left town. Not a single person wants to meet your eyes. A part of you understands why. Jake was the golden boy of the town. Jake is still the town hero. You’re just the girl who threw him away.

Of course, what you don’t expect to see is Dorothy sitting at one of the tables with a baby in her lap. She’s the only person who doesn’t glare at you as you walk up.

“D’you mind if I sit here?” Gone is the confident Linley who took New York by storm. In her place is the four-year-old with a lisp who used to get pushed off of picnic tables because she was too different.

“Sure.” You sit silently, gratefully, smiling at the chubby-cheeked baby in Dorothy’s lap.

“I, um..” You’re captivated by the shocks of tiny dark hair and big eyes and the way the little sweetheart is waving their fists around. “I didn’t know you and Mickey had a baby.”

“Aww, yeah. When you came around the bank the other day, there wasn’t much time for us to catch up now, was there?” She hums to the baby for several long moments before turning all of her attention to you.

It occurs to you at that moment that maybe you were more than a little prejudiced yourself as a kid. You have more fun with Dorothy than you’ve had in years. Getting to eat good food and just be yourself probably helps, too. Every time you see her snuggle her daughter, it feels like your heart breaks a little more. You can’t turn back time or change history. Seeing the baby squeal as a calf licks her hand makes you smile.

“Y’know he went up there?” There’s a secretive smile on Dot’s face as she rescues the baby from having her frock eaten by a goat.

“Who?” You drag your eyes away from the kids playing in front of you and focus back on Dorothy. “Dot, who went up where?” When she just looks at you, the lightbulb goes off in your head. “Jake? When?”

“About a year after you left.” That little tidbit of knowledge hits like a dart hitting a bullseye on a dart board. “He doesn’t know that I know, but Mickey let it slip once.”

“Jake was in New York?” You sound like a stuck record, but you can’t believe that Jake ever went to New York. Jake has always hated the idea of the big city, much preferring the country to the city. 

“He told Mickey he'd never seen anything like it.” Your heart is six feet under the earth.

“He realized straight off…” You’re leaning in despite yourself, some sick sense of curiosity expecting you to know, “That he'd need more than an apology to win you back. He needed to conquer the world first. He's been tryin' ever since.”

You didn’t think that you were so cruel a few days ago, standing in the middle of that fashion show back in New York. But now? Now, you feel like the worst person on the planet. 

“That's why he kept sending the papers back.” Is the world spinning off of its axis, or is that just you? How is it that you can know someone for most of your life and that they still surprise you every time?

“Yeah, it's funny how things don't work out.” The baby starts fussing in Dot’s arms, and the sweet burble of sound puts a smile on your face.

“It’s funny how they do.” 

You spend the rest of the day hanging out with Dorothy, smiling and laughing like a fool while playing with the baby. But it’s as night falls and the kids all go home to bed that excitement starts to course through your veins. The first twang of the guitar sets your feet tapping. For the first time since you came back to Pigeon Creek, you feel like you’re at home. With good music and even better alcohol in your hands, you finally feel free. 

Of course, what you’re not expecting, even though you totally should be, is Jake and Bob walking up to the small gathering you’ve found yourself in. It’s almost like once Dot approved of you, everyone else did, too. He looks like sin, his worn jeans clinging to his thighs and a soft red flannel clinging to his broad shoulders. His eyes and hair glisten in the soft light, and if you were a younger, less encumbered woman, you would have climbed him like a tree. But as it is, your soul feels heavy, and your left-hand feels even heavier. The worst part isn’t just how you lost the love of your life. It’s in how you’ve lost your best friend, too.

You can’t look at his smiling face, not when it hurts to see him happy when you’ve never been sadder. So, instead, you fixate on the glass your beer is in. It’s crystal clear and gorgeous, and well, it’s glass like you’ve never seen in New York. Is it any wonder that you lift the glass to see if you can see the manufacturer? Of course, just as you lift up the glass, it’s Dot who notices what you’re doing.

“Oh, honey, you…” She giggles, looking at you, “You drink that from the top.”

“I know that, Dot. I’m just lookin’ to see who makes this Deep South Glass. I wonder if you can get it in New York?" You take a sip of your beer and sigh. "It's beautiful."

"D'you hear that, Jake?" There is mischief in Dot's voice. "Lin wants to know where she can find that snooty-faluty glass." Why's she asking Jake, of all people?

"Why ask me?" See that? That's why Jake Seresin was your best friend. He always knew exactly what you were thinking and had the courage to express the thought, too.

"Oh, I dunno. Maybe it's because…" You've only had a few sips of your beer, so you don't miss the glare Jake shoots at Dot. You don't know why he's keeping secrets, but you have a feeling it isn't for a good reason. "You're all spiffed up and all."

"Wait, y'all." You probably look as confused as you feel. "Am I missing something?"

But all of a sudden, the familiar tones of Sweet Home Alabama by Lynyrd Skynyrd echo across the dance floor. You can count on one hand the number of times you've passed on dancing to this song - and all of them have been when you were in New York. It's a right of passage, a way of life. A part of you is sure every 'Bama baby has been put to bed at night with a crooned-out rendition of this song since it came out. Already, you can feel the beat tapping your toes, but a part of you isn't sure if anyone will ask you to dance. You smile vaguely as Dot marches off to the dance floor, Jake in tow, leaving you standing at the edge of the dance floor yearning.

"Y'know, she says that I've got two left feet, but the truth is she's got no rhythm." You startle just a bit at Mickey's voice, though you smile when you hear the pure love in it for Dot.

"Why don't we show her just how well I can dance, then, Miss Linley?" 

"It would be my pleasure, Mr. Garcia." 

You're smiling from ear to ear as Mickey twirls you around on the dance floor. Your eyes flutter closed as you feel the beat in every hummingbird thud of your heart. But when you open them again, it feels like the world's standing still. The music is gone. There isn't another person on the dance floor other than Jake and you. He's got his hand on your waist, and your heart's not beating in time anymore. Your palms grow clammy, and your tongue feels like it's swollen in your mouth.

There is something unreadable in Jake's gaze as he twirls you once, twice, and then one final time before applauding for the band and walking away. You spend the rest of the night as far away from Jake as you possibly can. You know where he is; you always have. But it's different going out of your way to avoid him. Everyone's cleared out for the night when you finally see the sign for the dog cemetery.

Bear used to love clear nights like this, and something about it makes you remember him. His little plot is the newest, and it hurts to think of the puppy you bottle-fed lying six feet under the ground when you never even got the chance to tell him you loved him one final time.

"Hi there, boy." Your hands shake as you clear away a couple of twigs ensnared in his grave marker. "Sorry, it took me so long. I would have come sooner if I'd known you were sick."

Sitting here tonight, you don't think you can lie. Not to Bear. "Actually, that's probably not true. I've been pretty selfish lately."

Tears track hot down your cheeks as you remember the dog you loved with all of your heart. "Dogs don't know anything about that, do they, though? You were always like a big old pillow. Like when everything went pear-shaped…" Your voice cracks on the words because pear-shaped is an understatement for how your life splintered. "You never left my side. And then I just left you. I bet you sat there wondering what you'd done wrong."

"I told him it was my fault." You stand up so quickly that you nearly fall over. It's Jake because who else would it be when he's so close that you can smell his cologne and feel the heat radiating off of his skin?

"Quit bein' so nice." 

"It's the truth." It's not. Not in the slightest. It was your fault. Your body, your mouth. Your fault. But you can't verbalize your words or how sorry you were for everything that you did.

"How come it has to be so complicated?" You sigh the words even as you wipe your tears away.

"What?" Despite his hatred for you, his voice is gentle, a melodic hum over the buzz of a summer night out in the country.

"The truth, life…" Finally, you trace your fingers over Bear's name. "This."

"He was one hell of a good dog, wasn't he?" You can only nod, moving to sit on a stone bench nearby. It's quiet for several moments, just you and Jake staring at the graves.

"You looked like you were having fun out there tonight." It's true, you did have fun. But it wasn't quite as easy as he thought it was to let loose.

"I'm happy in New York, Jake. But then I come down here and…” You gesture around you to all of Pigeon Creek. “This fits, too." Who are you trying to convince? Him? Or yourself?

"Since when does it have to be one or the other? You can have roots and wings, Lin." Not possible, not with your all-or-nothing life.

"Maybe I could just fly south for the winter." As if the Honorable Carole Bradshaw would ever let you do that.

He sits down next to you suddenly, warming the left side of your body as he gets close.

"Look." It takes you a bit to figure out what you're looking for, but when you see it, it makes you feel like a kid again. "There. Do you see 'em?"

"Only you. Lightnin' bugs." There's a childlike wonder on his face. This close, you can feel each exhale and can see the specks of amber floating in the green of his eyes

"You know, I still go out there sometimes. I see those big thunderheads rollin' in. It's like a religion." Of course, he still goes out on the beach in the middle of lightning storms.

But his confession has you spilling one of your own. "I had a dream about it the other night." You watch the lightning bugs track pinpricks of light through the dark night.

"It had me thinking, Lin. You ever wonder what would have happened if we hadn't have gotten pregnant?"

Your heart falls to your feet at his words. Please let him regret you, but not that sweet baby. Please, not your sweet baby. Your throat barely pushes out the sound as you whisper, "Jake."

"Just," His eyes are pleading, and the sight of the pain in his eyes blanks all the thoughts out of your mind. "Let me get this out before I can't. I thought that baby would be an adventure."

"And it took me a while to realize that it would have been your only adventure." Yup. The sound you hear despite the blood pounding in your temples is your heart shattering into infinitesimal pieces. "I just guess Mother Nature knew better, huh?"

Your hands make abortive movements in your lap. But you can't reach for him, not with the ring weighing your left hand down. "I was so ashamed, Jake. 'Cause I felt relieved. How selfish am I, huh? I lost our baby, and I felt relieved. I felt relieved. And I couldn't handle that. All of a sudden, I just needed a different life. So I left."   

Your voice is so quiet you're not sure Jake can actually hear you.

"You’ve done really well for yourself. I'm proud of you, Lin." He's so close all you want to do is fall into him. But you can't. You can't.

"I'm just sorry I never danced with you at our weddin'." How does he make your heart feel so full that you're sure it's going to overflow?

"I'm sure this next one's gonna go better for ya." His hands are strong and warm and perfect as they cradle yours. But every press of his hands rubs the ring, Bradley's ring, into your hands. It feels like a brand, the guilt turning into a five-ton weight sitting there. And it's that itchy, heavy feeling that has you yanking your hands from his own. 

"Jake, I can't do this." Who are you trying to convince as you walk away? Like so much of this conversation tonight, you're not really sure.

"I know."

Something about those words has you turning around. It's not a feeling or an expressed desire, but you still stand on your tiptoes and kiss Jake. Just once, you promise your traitorous heart. Just once. But he feels like home and tastes like it and smells like it. The electricity ricocheting through your veins makes you feel so good that you don't break the kiss until Jake does. Your lips are swollen, and you can barely breathe. But Jake? Jake just looks angry.

"Go home." Is it any wonder that you do so with your tail between your legs?

I DO NOT CONSENT TO HAVE MY WORK POSTED, TRANSLATED, OR PUBLISHED ON ANY SITES OTHER THAN HERE, ON WATTPAD, OR ON AO3 BY ME. IF YOU SEE MY WORKS ANYWHERE OTHER THAN HERE, ON WATTPAD, OR AO3, THEN THEY HAVE BEEN POSTED WITHOUT MY PERMISSION AND I WILL BE WORKING TO TAKE THEM DOWN.

Taglist:

@atarmychick007 @the-romanian-is-bae @lt-spork @buckysdollforlife @blackwidownat2814 @praline357 @seitmai @cheyrenee @trickphotography2 @abaker74 @marrianena-library @angelbabyange @temptest13 @kmc1989 @im-an-adult-ish @chaoticassidy @inkandarsenic @lynnevanss @shanimallina87 @khaylin27 @mizzzpink @emma8895eb @hookslove1592 @leahnicole1219 @djs8891 @sarahsmi13s @desert-fern @horseshoegirl @dakotakazansky @teacupsandtopgun @footprintsinthesxnd @thedroneranger @cherrycola27 @roosterforme @mak-32 @beyondthesefourwalls

[gracie7209]

Sin With A Grin - Frankie Morales x f!Reader Oneshot

WC: 12.3k

Summary: You’ve always been on the run. Never having the desire to stay in one place for too long, what you did with your life was up to you and no one else. You didn’t live with regrets and that suited you just fine. But what happens when you meet someone who makes you consider staying?

Warnings: 18+ Minors DNI, reader is/was a stripper, reader used to be a sex worker, smut, angst, sad Frankie, angry Frankie, mental health issues alluded to, but nothing in detail, reader had a rough childhood, childhood trauma though not described in detail, anxiety, brief descriptions of a panic attack, Santi being a little shit, in being a little shit I’m putting dub con, not really, but Frankie does get tied up 🤷🏼‍♀️ alcohol mention, kissing, dirty talk, oral (m & f receiving), fingering, unprotected PIV sex (although they discuss beforehand. Be safe y’all), talks of therapy, reader has no physical description, but has a nickname “Len”… No particular reason and doesn’t affect the story in any way. POV changes quite a bit, and there are a few flashbacks throughout… Ummm I think that’s it, but if I forgot anything please let me know!

A/N: So this thing came completely out of no where…. I have 2 WIPs I’ve been working on for over a year and I wrote this in like 2 days 🤷🏼‍♀️ Any mistakes are mine, I looked over it briefly, but it’s not beta’d. I also kind of just went with it in terms of where Reader has been etc. no particular places mentioned aside from the State of Florida and only because I believe it’s where the guys in TF are from…. This is the first full story I’ve ever posted, so I would deeply appreciate any and all feedback. Just be gentle ❤️

“What are you doing???” There’s a slight desperation to his voice, visibly on edge by what he thinks is about to happen…

You continue moving closer, not breaking eye contact with him. Your hands slowly move over your torso, languidly feeling yourself up until you reach the button of your jeans.... you slowly tease your thumbs underneath the waistband… inching that much closer.. “What do you think I’m doing?”

Your hands never stop their descent, and your top button pops open…. The zipper comes down even slower as he takes in your question.

“I, uh…. I’m not…. Why are you, your your…. “

“My what Frankie?”

“Your hands….” He finally chokes out.

“What about my hands?” His eyes are glued to them as you play with your fly, the tiniest peek of your lace panties showing through. You see him swallow, his shoulders straining against the ropes as his own hands desperately try to get out of their current predicament.

As you lean in close, you feel his stuttered breaths against your cheek.. you steal a glance at his face and his eyes are clamped shut, trying to regulate his breathing.

“You know what you’re doing— Why??”

He sounds almost upset, but you can hear the longing in his tone….

“I missed you…..” you take the opportunity to step behind him and place a tiny barely there kiss to the side of his neck. He takes a sharp inhale with slow stuttering breaths as you pull away to move in front of him again. You stand back, just taking him in and he huffs an annoyed breath…

“Oh, don’t be that way Francisco. We had fun didn’t we?” The tone in your voice is almost taunting. You’re not sure why your first instinct is to bait him… YOU dragged him here.. YOU were trying to make amends, yet you couldn’t help it..

Frankie keeps his head down, but looks up to you through his shaggy bangs..

“Is that what you’re calling it then? Fun? It’s been two years….. “ He drops his head, letting it hang between his shoulders in defeat.

You take pity on him, knowing that you were the one at fault and reminding yourself that this was to be expected. You cautiously move forward and begin stroking your fingers through his hair. Frankie tenses immediately at the contact, but makes no move to stop you. Your fingers reach the back of his neck and you’re suddenly overwhelmed with the warmth radiating from him. The easy familiarity of just being in his presence making your heart swim, something you hadn’t allowed yourself to do in two years.

It had been two years. You had justified the gap initially by making yourself believe that Frankie should have seen it coming. That you were just passing through. They were flimsy excuses, but this had never happened to you before… You just wanted to make it right. You weren’t good at this, but you were going to try.

“I know. It’s been a long time — I….”

You’re shaken by the rush of emotion that runs its way through you. The only thing that had ever made you feel regret in your life was sitting right in front of you. The stripping paid what little bills you had and afforded your interests. And it was just easier to move on, jump from place to place rather than set down roots. No place had ever actually felt like home and you were content with the way things were. Until Frankie… It’s the reason you’re here now. You tell yourself to keep it together…. The lies that would generally roll off your tongue with ease weren’t welcome, but old habits were hard to break. Even though this was Frankie, the easy way out was right there…

Frankie was a good person. And for him, what the two of you had, was real. You had eventually come to the realization that it had also been real for you— too real. Which is why you hadn’t come back until now.

You weren’t lying when you said you missed him.

Your hand lightly grabs for Frankie’s chin, pulling his face up to look at you. His warm eyes full of all the pain that the last two years had caused him when you up and left without a word.

“I — I’m sorry. Frankie. I truly am. I never meant to hurt you… I”

“No—“

Frankie cuts you off…

“I thought…” he shakes his head.

“I guess I didn’t know what to think. I kept running it through my head over and over. What happened? What did I do wrong? For so long I just didn't know.”

Frankie looks down to his boots, trying not to let his emotions get the best of him.

“Ha,” Frankie gives an annoyed chuckle.

“You know I actually waited? I had hoped, like some love sick dumbass, that you would come back.” He looks to you then, with a wild glare that tells you he’s fucking pissed.

“And then you fucking show up out of the goddamn blue after two years… because you missed me?? Tied me to a fucking chair because I wouldn’t give you the time of day?”

“You wouldn’t have talked to me otherwise.”

“That’s the point sweetheart!”

You had never heard Frankie yell before, at least not in any way directed at you. His voice was loud, causing you to back away slightly, but you could hear the hurt laced in his tone.

“You don’t just get to do whatever the hell you want at someone else’s expense… I’ve spent enough time feeling sorry for myself over you.”

His words hit you in the gut, but you knew that this wasn’t going to be as simple as reuniting with a lost love, if you could even call it that. You never thought yourself capable of actually loving someone. You had enjoyed your time with Frankie on every level and when it was time for you to get on your way, you hesitated. The fact that you had considered staying scared you, so instead of just leaving, you ran, without a word —And now? You had made a lot of mistakes in your life, but you tended to live with a “no regrets” mentality, rather utilizing your mistakes as lessons to build on. But you did have one regret. One you were trying, as best you could anyway, to recompense.

You literally have him tied to a chair because your prior attempts at civility were made in vain. You couldn’t blame him for being angry though… you expected the anger, thought you were ready for it. What you hadn’t bet on was how emotional you would feel. You had clearly done a number on him, that pain still sitting just beneath the surface. Which is what drove you to close the distance between the two of you, grabbing the sides of his face and putting everything you had into the press of your lips against his…

—

Frankie’s breath is lodged in his throat…. He missed this. Missed you. He hated you. Or, he thought he had. But the second your mouth found his, he was back to before. Back to when he could taste you any time he wanted, rather than holding onto only as much as his memory could serve him… He needs more. Your scent is everywhere and he needs to taste you. His earlier anger seems to completely dissipate as he begs for entry into your mouth with his tongue.

He parts his lips and in a way that is surprisingly soft, he laps at the seam of your mouth…. You open almost immediately, letting him in. Letting his mouth devour yours as you completely submit to him.. well almost—

His greedy kiss is only amplified when you decide to pull his bottom lip between your teeth.

“Fuck,” Frankie pants… “untie me.” He quickly mumbles between kisses… his lips tracing every inch of skin within reach.

“What?” You whisper, your own breathing picking up as his kisses become almost frantic..

“I said,” he presses his forehead to yours so he knows you can hear him, “untie me —“

You’re halfway straddling him on the chair… your chest brushing up against him, your arms encircling his head.

“Please, Querida. Let me touch you—“

You don’t break away from him, instead you reach behind his back and blindly feel for the ropes… the knots having been made loose by his earlier attempts at freeing himself…

As soon as his hands are free, Frankie pushes up, not breaking your kiss, and hauls you into his arms as he backs you against the wall…

You were still so small… he was towering over you, one hand against the wall, and one at your waist. He wraps your legs around him, but holds you firmly in place.

“Why did you leave?” — It comes out amongst the kisses he’s currently littering across your neck and chest.. The question not affecting his intent in the slightest….

“Not right now, please…” You huff out quickly, your mind being completely clouded by Frankie and his massive shoulders. “Fuck, Francisco I missed you…..”

“I missed you too….” Frankie’s reply comes out quick as his hand makes its way up your side to gently grab your breast… his thumb lightly rubbing over the peak.

His mouth is still on your neck, your chest, your lips, he’s everywhere and it’s completely overwhelming and simultaneously not enough as you unconsciously grind against his jeans.

“Answer the question bonita…..” His voice is rough, but quiet…. There’s an edge to it that you can’t identify. He doesn’t sound angry, but he doesn’t sound altogether pleased either..

You knew by coming back here that you would have to answer these questions…

You thought you had prepared yourself, but you were very wrong. His overwhelming presence was making it hard to think, let alone the fact that he was able to pull your shirt down enough to envelop your nipple in his warm mouth. His tongue teasing circles around the peak, making you clench on nothing as you continued to grind into him.

“Answer me,” He growls against your sensitive chest.. “You owe me that.”

Your hands are in his hair, holding him to you. He doesn't stop his assault on your nipple.. his words, again, not getting in the way of him taking what he wants.

“Please,” he whispers against your chest. You can hear in his voice the turmoil behind the question. You’d give him anything right now.

“I was scared. I… I cared about you too much. I couldn’t stay.”

That gets him.

He leans back slightly… still holding you up, but no longer using his mouth.

“What do you mean? You cared too much? And that’s why you couldn’t stay?”

“Frankie…..” He slowly releases you from around his waist and you stand on wobbly legs…

“We need to talk.”

You’re leaning against the wall for support as he stands back a bit. Hands on his hips, lips swollen and red from his earlier assault. You’re sure you look much the same.

“I’ll tell you everything you need to know. I came here to try to make things right with you. I don’t even know if that’s possible, but the more time went on, I realized I couldn’t stay away. I had to make sure you understood. Everything.”

“Ok….. Let’s talk then. I had tried to make peace with the fact that you weren’t who I thought you were. I tried to move on. But you being here now? What don’t I know? Please….”

He steps forward. He’s back in your space and you want nothing more than to pull him into you. But instead you say nothing. You were afraid. Afraid of his rejection if he couldn’t get over your past and the hurt you caused. The tingly sensation still present in your lips tells you that the latter at the very least was still possible.

He chuckles, “I tried to imagine what seeing you again would be like. I’d thought about all the ways I could possibly make you feel an ounce of the pain you left me in. I tried to hate you…. “

Frankie’s gaze is sad, with just a hint of hunger etched around his eyes…. He brings his thumb to your bottom lip, dragging the rough pad against it…

You breathe out against his hand, and his palm comes up to your cheek.

“Tried?” You squeak out. He nods.

“I wanted to. Even had myself convinced I did. Until you decided to come back to town and I immediately knew I was fucked. Because I didn’t. I couldn’t even if I wanted to.”

“Then why wouldn’t you talk to me? I tried to reach out to you. To talk to you, but you refused.”

“I knew I didn’t hate you, but I was still angry. I didn’t have it in me to talk to you yet. And then you decided to take things into your own hands.”

You felt slightly guilty at the way you had tricked him. How Santi was your partner in crime and lured Frankie to where you were currently.

Initially, Santi’s method made you slightly uncomfortable, the pretense that this was a private lap dance that his friend had set up to assuage his moping. Frankie didn’t generally do things like that and you knew it, your initial meeting being the one and only time that you were aware of, but Santi assured you that he could make it happen.

….

Earlier that day….

“Indulge me pendejo…. It was a buy one get one…” As if that were a normal thing?

“You and I both know Will is too straight an arrow to enjoy it, and Benny would just end up trying to take her home. The lucky bastard would probably get away with it too I’m sure.”

“Pope, I haven’t done anything like that in a long time. Not since… you know what I mean…”.

“Yeah yeah yeah, the GIRL, I know. It’s been long enough man. You gotta just let it go.”

“She was your friend too, Santi. So not just some girl.”

“And? She was a friend, but I wasn’t ‘in love’ with her. We all knew she had her own issues… They probably just got the best of her.” Frankie isn’t sure how to take Santi’s sudden coldness toward you. He was usually understanding when it came to you.

“Look, all I’m saying is how long are you gonna hold a torch for her? She’d be here if she still cared.” He was putting it on thick for Frankie, knowing when all was said and done it’ll have been worth it.

“But she IS here, Santi. She keeps trying to talk to me and I just can’t.”

“You’re serious? This girl you’ve been pining over for the last two years is here? And you don’t want to talk to her?”

“No. Not… not yet anyway. I don’t know what she wants and every time I think about it I just get pissed off… “

“Well, here’s the perfect opportunity to just blow off some steam. I’m not saying you gotta sleep with this one, although I think if you played your cards right she might just”—

“POPE! Just shut up!”—

Santi knows he’s got him now. He thinks he should probably feel bad for this, but he knows Frankie will thank him later.

“Alright alright, calm down cabron, I’m just sayin’.”

“Yeah, whatever. Let’s just get this over with.”

“Atta boy Fish!” Santi claps him on the shoulder… Frankie shrugs him off…. This whole thing just felt strange… he hoped Santi wasn’t getting him into anything he was going to regret.

-

They arrive at the location, a little upscale for his liking, but it’s on Santi’s dime so he isn’t altogether surprised nor does he particularly care.

When they go to the room, there are two chairs set out invitingly, the suite large enough to house a giant 4-poster King sized bed, a couch and sitting area, with a full kitchen etc

Santi announces their arrival and makes himself right at home in one of the chairs…. It seems a little out of place, but it’s not like he can say much… he just wanted to get this done with so he could go home.

A woman then emerges from the bathroom, black lace lingerie only slightly hidden by a see-through black robe that falls just above her garters… He forces himself not to think about how you looked very similar when the two of you had met…. Circumstances eerily similar to now.

“You alright Fish?” Santi can see how Frankie’s comfort level is dropping by the second, hoping that he can hang on for just a bit longer until the real show begins.

“Yeah. Just a long day is all.”

The woman makes her way over to Santi, whispering something in his ear.

“Oh yeah? Well I can’t say that I have sweetheart, but I’m willing to do just about anything once.” Santi tries not to over play it, just needing to get the ball rolling so you two get the chance to talk.

“Hey, Frankie… You up for something a little different?”

“What do you mean?”

“Well, this beauty here is wanting to expand our horizons a bit. You up for it?”

“If it involves me having to touch you, I’m out pendejo..”

“Nah nothing like that. She has some props she’d like to try out.”

“I thought this was a lap dance not an escort service!” Frankie’s on edge and he wants nothing more than to beeline for the door and go home.

“Mierda, no!… Sweetheart”— Santi’s attention is focused on the beautiful woman in lace —“would you just go ahead with what you were telling me?”

Now back to Frankie, —“It’s nothing like that, she just very much enjoys her audience, however sometimes they get a little handsy. She likes to make sure she can do her job without having to break anyone’s fingers.”

The woman walks out of the room and comes back with some type of rope and makes her way to Frankie.

“Don’t worry baby, I’ll make sure it’s worth your while” — She gives Frankie a wink and slowly starts to wrap the ropes around his shoulders. Pulling his hands behind the chair, she delicately wraps them individually, securing them in an impressive knot that isn’t too tight, but completely limits his mobility.

He’s not sure what to think, but Santi is seated in the same way he is, presumably waiting for his turn. However, Santi’s turn never comes.

When the woman finishes tying him up, Santi instead gets up, walks over to Frankie’s chair and tests the strength of his binds…

“What the fuck Pope?”

“Calm down Fish. You’ll thank me later.”

Reaching toward the woman Santi wraps his arm around her shoulders — “Trust me Pendejo…. You won’t want to miss this.”

Santi gives him a wink and with that he and the woman leave him in the now completely empty room.

“Pope!!” Frankie yells at the door, Santi ignoring his friend as he continues down the hallway.

“I’m going to fucking murder him,” Frankie says under his breath. He perks his head up at the sound of light music coming from what he assumes is the master bathroom.

“Hello?” He genuinely has no idea what to expect. “Goddamnit Santi, the fuck are you getting me into man?”

“Don’t blame Santi. It was partially my idea…..”

You take that moment to step out of the bathroom. Regular clothes still on, with a surprise hiding underneath. Frankie’s jaw is on the floor and his eyebrows are up to his hairline.

“Hi Frankie…” He starts shaking his head,

“I know, I know, I’m sorry. But I had to talk to you,” you quickly try to explain.

Frankie looks down at the ropes holding him to the chair.. “and you thought THIS was the best way to do that? What the fuck?”

“No…. I tried getting you to talk to me. Several times and you wouldn’t. I don’t blame you, you know?” Frankie gives an annoyed huff. You do your best not to roll your eyes. Reminding yourself that this was to be expected.

“But, I had to figure something out. And then I ran into Santi a couple of weeks ago and he agreed to help me.”

“And why would he do that?” You can hear what sounds like betrayal in his voice.

“Because he was my friend too. And all I wanted was the chance to talk to you. To, I don’t know, explain myself??”

“Little late for that, now don’t you think?” You look down and Frankie decides to add fuel to the fire. The hurt still so fresh even with the amount of time that’s passed. Seeing you just brought it all right back. “What? I’m not sure what you expected, but did you ever stop to think that maybe I didn’t want to talk to you?”

You deserved that. The words still sting even though you know he’s being kind in comparison to how he must’ve felt. Of course he didn’t want to talk to you. Why else would you have had to convince Santi to get him here? It took him literally being tied to a chair, to finally talk to you.

“I know you don't. And after this, if you never want to speak to me again, I’ll understand.”

Frankie doesn’t speak. He just trains his eyes on you. You wish you could tell what he was thinking. He’s still very much the Frankie you left behind. But there’s a sadness in his eyes now that wraps around your throat and you hate yourself for the part you played in it.

The silence stretches to an awkward crescendo before you decide to go about this a different way… after all, he came here expecting a lap dance. It was how you met in the first place after all… It was no longer your lifestyle of choice, but maybe you should go back to where you both started….

……

Present….

“But what if… what if what you don’t know makes you hate me?”

“Look, when you left, I had no idea if you were even ok. I went crazy trying to find you…. I even..” He puts his hands on his hips and looks down, a flush of embarrassment touching his cheeks.. “I uh, hired someone to look for you. I just didn’t know. You fucking left. No word, no call, no note, just nothing.” He sounds defensive even though you have yet to say anything.

“I had to know if you were ok. And well, I found out…. My guy found you after about a month….. Said you were doing just fine in his opinion. Showed me pictures of you. Gave me your new stage name and an address where I could see for myself if I wanted to. So I did.”

“You what?” You couldn’t believe it. After you left, you wanted to go back to the same routine, to try to bring some normalcy or whatever you could call it, back into your life after having Frankie pull the rug out from underneath you. Stripping gave you that outlet. It was good money, and you could be anyone you wanted to be. Different hair, makeup, clothing, new name… you had no restraints and it made you feel alive.

Or it had.. before. This time, it didn’t have the same effect.

“I went to the address he gave me. I needed to see you. Needed to see with my own eyes that you were in fact OK. I don’t know what I expected, honestly. But, you were. Ok, I mean. You hadn’t been kidnapped, or murdered or hurt in any way. You were still you…. And, when I finally saw you, with your tits out and your ass in the air, I realized he was right. You were just fine.”

“Frankie,” you try to move toward him, but he backs away.

“I’ve never judged you for what you chose to do for a living. You were good at it. And had it not been for that, then I don’t know that we even would’ve met.”

“Then why—“ but he cuts you off..

“But seeing you back there…. I still don’t understand why you left, but it was clear that you had moved on.”

“Frankie, please listen to me…. “ he doesn’t say anything but he takes a few moments before he nods telling you to go ahead. His arms are crossed over his chest and his eyes give away his hurt even though you can tell he’s doing his best to keep himself in check.

“Ok, I’m just going to come out with everything and we can go from there, ok? I’m not going to try to make excuses for myself. I know some of the things I’ve done are less than stellar and in hindsight I do sometimes wish I had made better choices. I try not to regret anything, rather just learn from my mistakes and move on.

Before I met you, the last few years prior had been a bit of a rebellious time of self discovery. I, um… ugh ok…..”

You take a deep breath. Just get it out, consequences be damned.

“I came from a small town, but had been moved around throughout my childhood. My parents were together, but their relationship was toxic. They were so codependent and obsessed with each other that I was pushed to the side. They were teenagers when they had me. They weren’t ever married, but claimed to be. Nevermind the drugs, but neither one could hold a steady job. So we lived with other people. Jumping from home to home based on who was willing to take us in at the time. I spent the majority of my childhood taking care of my siblings because my parents were just too fucking lazy to do it themselves…..”

You take a deep breath to realign your thoughts. This was a rabbit hole that you could drown yourself in if you didn’t pull back.

“Why this matters is because as soon as I was of age to leave home, I fucking ran. I didn’t know where I was going, but I couldn’t take another minute with them. The biggest problem was that I didn’t exactly have many life skills to utilize out there on my own. I became dependent on other people also. I would crash at different friends’ houses, acquaintances really. But I never stayed in one place for very long. It’s like it was hardwired into my brain to never get comfortable enough to stay. Along the way, I met people who showed me how I could make decent money without having to work a day job. Something I could do at my own pace and anywhere I wanted. It also allowed me to try on different identities as I didn’t even know who the hell I was then..”

You realize you’ve been talking for quite a while and Frankie hasn’t said a word. He’s listening though. His eyes are on you, although he’s shifted back into the chair he was tied to. You continue when he still doesn’t say anything. Just letting you tell your story and you appreciate his willingness to do so when you never afforded him the same courtesy. You brush off the thought and carry on.

“I was nervous at first as I had obviously never done anything like that before, but I enjoyed it way more than I thought I would. The money was way more than I ever imagined, and for only a few hours a night? I could do anything I wanted to. The dream, right? I felt free, no one telling me what to do, I was responsible for myself and that’s it. I would move on after so long, once I felt the itch to run again, but I would just go wherever, sometimes with friends, sometimes on my own, but I never really cared where I ended up. I had no intention of staying anywhere in particular. I had been forced to go here and there and back again by my parents so many times that I needed that control. I’d stay where I felt like staying and then I’d leave.

I ended up in the City, and that’s where things took a different turn. One I hadn’t anticipated. The club I was working for had additional “services” available to clients that I wasn’t aware of originally. I had only been there a few weeks before one of my bosses asked when I would be ready to add those services to my resume.”

Frankie wasn’t a fool. He knew what you were talking about. You looked down as you said it because you didn’t want to see the look on his face. You hadn’t ever regretted how you did things, but you don’t think you could handle seeing him look at you with the disgust so often associated with those who chose to work in that profession. So you continue while looking down at the scratchy carpet. Avoiding his gaze until you could finish your story.

“I’d never done anything like it before, but the other girls were encouraging and said the money was well worth it. It wasn’t a brothel, I got the choice of who and when, so I was willing to try it. Just another act of rebellion I guess….” You take in a shaky breath— Why is this so hard? Just spit it out. Everyone has a past. Frankie deserves to know yours.

You're quiet while you try to give yourself a pep talk and Frankie notices your hesitation, “You ok?”

You nod and power through.

“So, remember when I asked you ‘what if the parts you don’t know make you hate me?’” Frankie nods… “Well here it is. I’m not proud of it, but I refuse to be ashamed of it. It’s something I did to get by and —“

“You don’t have to explain yourself to me…. I’m not gonna judge-“ Now it was your turn to cut him off..

“Frankie.” You look up to his face then, this was it.

“Look at me and tell me that you’re ok with the fact that I used to sleep with men for money.” Your gaze hardens by the overflow of emotions swirling inside of you. You’ve never felt this before and you’re just trying to brace yourself for his reaction.

You can’t read his expression. He’s stoned faced. “Well? Are you?” Your voice takes on a slight edge of desperation. This part came on way too quickly and now you’re just waiting for the bubble to burst.

“Am I what?”

“Are you ok with it?” He leans forward in the chair, eyes never leaving you.

“Continue with your story Len… You’re not done telling me and I want to hear everything. Just like you asked me to.”

Well, you hadn’t expected that. How much was actually left in your story? You were an escort for about a year before you came to Florida…. Then you met Frankie only a few months after arriving.

—

Two and Half Years Ago…..(roughly)

You had met him one night at the club you were working at. His buddy had paid for a private lap dance as he had just gotten his Pilot's license and wanted to celebrate his friend with a ‘guys night out’. He was shy. It was the first thing you noticed. Most of your regulars were ballsy, asking how far they could go, telling you what to take off, how to move etc etc But Frankie was endearing to you from the beginning with his flushed cheeks and a dimple that became very prominent when he smiled.

He kept his hands to himself, so when you placed them on your hips as you were grinding your barely clothed center into his groin, his breath caught in his throat and he growled. You were used to just about everything when it came to clients; moans, grunts, even squeals from some, but this? You had never been so affected by a sound in your life. Your back was to his front and you could feel the rumble through his chest and you broke out in goosebumps from the vibration alone.

You leaned your full body weight into him and continued moving your hips, reaching behind you and running your fingers through his hair, bringing his mouth to your neck. This wasn’t part of your normal routine, but it was unconscious on your part. You were just caught up in the actions that when you felt his tongue peek out against your skin, you moaned, gripping his hair hard enough to be painful. Frankie didn’t seem to mind as he got lost in the taste of your skin, and once you moaned, he was gone. He started kissing your neck with fervor and you let him.

This was bad. These private lap dances would normally include a little hands on, but just barely. Enough to rev their engines and leave them with a smile on their face, but things were going too far and fast.. This specific club didn’t have an escort service. You had purposely chosen one without it when you decided to come here. You enjoyed stripping, the feeling of greedy eyes upon you was exhilarating, and you wanted to let yourself have that freedom without the extra weight that came along with being an escort. You never had any horrible experiences, but the lifestyle just wasn’t YOU so you took your time in the profession for what it was and you moved on.

“Baby, you gotta stop doing that,” you say with a sly smirk. You’re trying not to ruin the atmosphere, but you can’t let this go any further….

“Fuck, sorry, I’m sorry.” He pulls back from your neck, hands still on your hips. He sounds wrecked and when you look over, his eyes are closed.

“That’s ok, your buddy only paid for the dance…..” you say it with a sultry voice, still grinding on top of him.

His eyes open at that, “Oh shit, are you uh, —I wasn’t trying to…. I just got caught up in it. God, I’m sorry….”

“No, no this is as far as it goes for me, don’t worry. But I figured I’d let you know before it got out of hand.”

He looks beyond embarrassed, but you still want to make this good for him. You turn in his lap and wrap your arms around his neck, whispering in his ear, “let me take care of you baby.”

He nods and practically melts into the chair. You pull off of him and walk around behind him, your hands find his shoulders and you give a firm squeeze. His tense muscles are stiff under your fingers, so you dig in a little deeper until you hear him groan in relief. Your hands run up his neck, into his hair and back down and then move to his chest, feeling his breathing hitch at the contact.

You’re not sure what comes over you then, but you lean into his neck and lay a kiss in the same place he had kissed you. This was also not part of your routine. Kissing is like, rule number fucking one of things NOT to do and yet, that unconscious pull has your own tongue licking a stripe up the side of his neck. He tastes like sun-drenched skin mixed with sweat along with a hint of his woodsy cologne… your mouth is actually watering.

“Fuck…. I thought we couldn’t do this sweetheart?” He sounds confused, but makes no move to stop you.

His words bring you back to earth and you know you have to stop this now. You’re not sure what the hell has gotten into you, or what it is about him in general, but you were about to take it too far so you stop yourself and back away from the chair.

“Sorry, I um, this isn’t normally part of the show.” You seem slightly panicked, but recover quickly.

“I guess we’ll just call it a freebie to top off your special night. Couldn’t let you beat me at my own game now could I?”

“Yeah, again, I’m sorry about that. I really don’t know what came over me.”

“It’s ok, you’re very good with your mouth I must say.” You were hoping to ease the tension, but the words that spill from you just make it so much worse. As soon as they leave your mouth, you instantly think about what else he could do with his own. Fuck.

He’s standing up now, looking shy as hell again, and you just want to go wrap him up in a hug. Before you throw all caution to the wind, you decide to walk him out instead, running your fingertips across his broad shoulders as you show him to the exit to the hallway where he can meet back up with his group of friends. You blow him your signature kiss, and see his cheeks flush again before he turns to leave.

That night was the first time you let a client’s name fall from your lips, with your hand between your legs and the feeling of his mouth on your neck replaying over and over again. Your orgasm making your toes curl as you thrash under your sheets and bite into your pillow to dampen the sound of your cries. Holy shit….

—

Back to present……

“Ok then,” You take a deep breath and continue.

“I um, I spent about a year or so doing what I normally did while also working as an escort. It was good money like I said and I had a lot of input as to what was allowed etc. I was getting by just fine, but then that same urge to leave had me looking for a new place. That’s when I moved here. I had decided then also that I wasn’t interested in doing it any more. So I just found something else where it would no longer be an issue and just made my way like usual.

And then I met you.”

“And then you met me. What happened next?”

“Well, after we first met, I noticed you. You uh, you came to the club a lot after that. You never approached me though, but I could see you. You were there for every new set, and you’d leave as soon as I was done. Sometimes I would add things… just for you when I knew you were watching. I actually tried to meet up with you when my set was the last one of the night, but you were already gone. I should’ve asked you before, but why was that?”

Now it’s his turn to look guilty…

“Um. I didn’t know you saw me there. I just… I couldn’t get you out of my head after that night. I didn’t know what to do, so I did the only thing I knew wouldn’t get me thrown out, or slapped across the face….” He gives a chuckle, “and just came to see your show.”

“You could’ve approached me. It’s not necessarily against the rules.”

He seems almost agitated, his words surprising you.

“I didn’t want to scare you. I’m sure you deal with a lot of creeps who think they’re in love with you because you make their dick hard….. I wasn’t in love with you, at least not…..” He stops himself. “I just… wanted to see you.”

“So what made you decide to send Santi in to talk to me then? Hmm?”

Shit. He had forgotten about that.

—

Two and a Half Years Ago….

After a few weeks of acting like a stalker and showing up to the club just to watch you and leave, he couldn’t stand it any more and asked if Santi would help him try to approach you. Santi went in by himself one night and caught you after one of your sets. You had remembered him from before when he was with Frankie. You hoped Frankie would be with him, but were just as surprised when he brought him up to you. He asked if you were seeing any one and if you would be willing or if it was allowed for you to have drinks with his friend; the one who “hadn’t shut up about you since that night.”

You were eager to see him again so you accepted. You weren’t sure how it would go, but you also hadn’t stopped thinking about him since that night either.

***

When you finally got to meet up with him, that pull was instantly there again, drawing you to him and you knew you were in trouble.

How much though, you never could’ve expected. You’d had flings over time of course. Then your time as an escort made up for what you lacked in a normal sex life, but you had never been in a real relationship before. You had never felt the need to. You and your partners were on the same page always…. You would have your fun and part ways.

This was the first time you were actually kind of hoping for more with someone. Normally, you would just meet someone to spend a few sweat soaked days enjoying yourself with. No strings whatsoever. You didn’t want a boyfriend per say, you didn’t want to settle down, you didn’t want attachments, but you wanted Frankie and you were excited to see where it led you despite the prickling feeling of unease when it came to meeting someone new.

That first night, after drinks, Frankie was an absolute gentleman. He offered to take you to the place you were staying, but you mentioned that you weren’t ready to go home yet. So he offered to take you to his place for another drink. He was still so shy, even in his own space. He wasn’t sure where the night was headed and you could tell he didn’t want to make any assumptions.

He told you to make yourself comfortable while he made you both a drink, so you sat down on the couch and waited patiently until he joined you.

You and Frankie talked for what seemed like hours… talked about his job, about being a pilot and what that was like. You talked about the different places you’ve lived and different things you had gotten to see. He would ask you silly questions, things that you would ask someone you truly wanted to get to know. Not someone you were just looking to hook up with.

You answered honestly and asked some silly questions of your own, like “how long have you lived in this town?,” or “what are your thoughts for the future?” You don’t know why you ask him that. Your own future you rarely thought about much further than the next week… But, as had been the normal when it came to Frankie, you felt different with him. You ignored the flare of worry that accompanied those feelings. The little voice in your head telling you that this wasn’t you. This wasn’t what you did…

You ignored it because you were invested, but you couldn’t give that a conscious thought. All you knew was that you weren’t ready to go home yet. So you kept going.

Before long, you both had slowly gravitated closer to each other on the couch. His arm resting across the back while his torso faced you. You were sitting in a similar way, but with both legs underneath you, leaning against the cushions.

His hand came down while he spoke, almost like he didn’t realize he was moving. He gets so animated when he talks sometimes, he would use his hands to emphasize something. This time, his hand landed on your knee, and he clocked it instantly, however he didn’t pull away. He looked up to you, silently asking if it was ok. You put your hand over his and nudged it higher on your thigh. Your intent was crystal clear. This whole time, you couldn’t look at him without imagining how his lips and facial hair had felt against your skin. The alcohol continued buzzing in your system, making you feel bold, so the moment you felt him touch you in any way, all bets were off.

Once his hand reached your waist, you couldn’t help it anymore but to lean forward and finally, finally feel his lips on yours.

Frankie immediately squeezed your hip and returned your kiss, slipping his tongue in your mouth, tasting you, his free hand coming up to your face and cupping your cheek. Holding you to him as he lost himself in you.

He may have been holding you, but you needed to be closer to him, now. You continue to push forward until he practically falls back on the couch, head just shy of the armrest. He never breaks your kiss as you climb on top of him, straddling his waist. The hand on your cheek moves down to join the other one on your hips, slowly moving down until you feel him grasp a handful of your ass. He moans into your mouth and you swallow it down.

“Fucking Christ— You... Are so fucking Beautiful.” He utters between kisses. His breathing picks up significantly and you can feel the outline of his cock in his jeans beneath you.

You grind down, and he grunts out a breath, “fuck baby, don’t… don’t start something you can’t… can’t finish….”

“What, you think I can’t finish you Francisco?”

“Jesus, baby, you’re gonna fucking kill me, you keep talkin like that.”

“Well let me just occupy my mouth with something else then.” And with that you move down his torso, evading his wandering hands that try to keep you in place. You’ve been dying to see his cock, the impressive outline in his jeans has had your mouth watering since you felt him get hard beneath you.

“Holy shit… Fucking dirty girl, huh?” You’re used to being called all sorts of things, but in this moment, the surprise in his tone when he calls you that has your core throbbing.

You get to the waistband of his jeans and you start undoing his belt buckle. You slowly work your fingers around the leather, pulling it free. Frankie’s stomach jumps with every brush of your skin against his. You can’t help it but to lean forward and run your nose through the trail of hair that leads from the bottom of his navel down below his jeans. As you pop the button free and start on the zipper, you keep your face level with his stomach, nuzzling into each bit of newly exposed skin as you undo his fly.

“Fuck, pretty girl, look at me.” Frankie sounds desperate… you make eye contact with him, but you don’t stop your hands as they work to free him from the confines of his jeans. You reach a hand inside, under his boxers, feeling his cock for the first time as his expression goes from desperate to almost feral. You hold his gaze as you slowly pull him free, you hand grasping him tightly, your fingers not quite able to meet around his girth.

Fuck he’s big. You think to yourself and you actually lick your lips in anticipation of feeling him on your tongue. Frankie’s pupils are blown wide with desire and you waste no time as you guide his cock into your waiting mouth. His mouth opens as soon as his tip makes contact with your tongue and he is watching you with total fascination.

You sink down on him, enveloping as much of his cock as you can into your mouth. Your hand holds firm to the remainder that won’t fit. You come back up and lav your tongue up the underside of his cock and rest it, just underneath his tip. A spot that you find is the most sensitive, so much so that you’ve actually been able to make a guy come just from attention to that spot alone. But Frankie’s cock is like no other that you’ve ever seen. He's big, and long, but not obnoxiously so. The skin is golden brown, with his hair neatly trimmed. And he tastes phenomenal. He smells the same as he did when you first met and you feel saliva pool under your tongue as well as your slick leak into your already soaked panties.

“Pretty girl, God you’re so fucking pretty.. put it back in. I wanna see my cock in your mouth..” You do as he says and he throws his head back once you take him all the way down, opening your throat for him this time as your nose reaches his curls and he cries out, “fuck, fuck fuck……..”

He snaps his head back to you, his jaw clenching as he takes short quick breaths in and out of his nose, trying to keep himself from coming down your throat before he’s ready.

You begin to bob your head up and down, and your hand takes its place at his base. You keep the pressure along his entire cock with your hands as you swirl your tongue around his tip and gently tongue his slit making him buck his hips up and utter curse after curse as he desperately tries to drag it out.

“Fuck, stop stop….” You quickly pull off of him, worried you did something wrong..

“You ok????” Your lips are spit slick and swollen and he pushes up to kiss you, while urging you onto your back on the opposite side of the couch. Your hands are still on his cock, but you pull them away as soon as his own hand finds you clit over your jeans…. The material is completely soaked through as he rubs you. His fingers moving up and down, your jeans so tight he can practically feel your lips parting beneath. He moves his hand up to start undoing the button on your jeans.. “Gotta put my mouth on you beautiful.” And just as quickly as he started, he stops to pull your pants and underwear down just enough for your pussy to peek out and he immediately brings his face down to taste you.

“Oh fuck!” His tongue urges your lips apart as his hands continue pulling your jeans down your legs. Exposing more of you to him and as soon as you’re free of the offending pieces of clothing, he’s on you. He throws them across the room, landing with a thud who knows where and he parts your legs, making room for his broad shoulders between them. He runs his palms up and down the inside of your thighs, lightly tracing over your pussy with one hand, he leans down and licks a broad stripe from your entrance to your clit, before burying his face completely in your folds….

“Fuck Frankie!” His facial hair tickles your sensitive skin, but you can’t think past the feeling of his tongue lapping up your slick as his nose bumps your clit in time with his movements.

Your taste has him drunk, and he growls his praise directly into your pussy… “Goddamn, so gorgeous. Letting me taste your pretty pussy….. Fuck! So sweet…... You’re so fucking sweet…. Taste yourself beautiful…” Frankie leans up to your face and you open your mouth.. He brings his lips to yours, but doesn’t close the gap completely. Instead, he lightly drips your essence from his tongue to yours, then closes his mouth, kissing you hard as you swallow what he gave you. He goes back down and laps at you again, suckling your clit between his lips as he takes two fingers and gently pushes them into your throbbing cunt… as soon as he enters you, the moan you let out is obscene… “Yes, fuck. Tell me beautiful. You need me to fuck this pussy huh?”

“Yes, Frankie, fuck… yes!” He starts thrusting his fingers in and out, his other hand pushing down on the top of your mound and his thumb swipes at your clit while he finds the perfect rhythm with his fingers… He feels it the moment he finds your squishy little center and he grinds his fingertips into it as he draws a pool of saliva and spits on your clit, licking it up before taking it between his teeth. You could almost cry with how good it feels… You can tell your orgasm is fast approaching and you grind your pussy against his face. He doesn’t let up, instead he goes that much harder as he feels your walls begin to clamp down on his fingers.. “God yes, come for me baby…. Then I’ll fuck you ok?”

You’re so far gone, you just nod as your vision goes white and you come on a strangled cry… you were trying not to be too loud, but it's all forgotten as Frankie fucks you through your orgasm while firmly sucking on your clit, not letting up until you lightly push his head away when you become too sensitive.

Frankie surges up to meet your lips, his face thoroughly soaked in your slick, but you don’t care. You want his tongue in your mouth when he enters you for the first time… only problem is his jeans are still in the way, but you reach down and start helping him pull them down. He’s not graceful, but he gets them off in a hurry and returns between your legs…

You run your hands down his sides to the hem of his shirt, lifting it before he takes over and pulls it over his head and tosses it to the ground. He’s Fucking beautiful. He’s all golden skin, with some scars and a small soft tummy.

He wedges between your legs again and this time, he looks into your eyes as he asks “you ready?”

You nod your head up and down before logic rings true and you remember something. “Wait, wait, do you have a condom?”

“Fuck…. Uh, I wasn’t exactly planning this pretty girl… I don’t…shit…”

“It’s ok, um, I’m clean…. And I have an implant so we’re good if you just want to… “

“You sure?”

“Yeah, I'm sure…”

“Fuck, ok….” Frankie closes his eyes as he reaches down to line himself up, giving himself a few firm tugs to get himself back up after the sudden panic about the condom subsided.

He opens his eyes and meets yours. Never breaking eye contact as he pushes forward, his cock slowly filling up your aching cunt until his pelvis is flush with yours.

“Oh God, oh fuck!”

“I know, I’ll go slow….”

“No, no fuck, Frankie, I need you to move….”

“Yeah?” He gives a sharp thrust and you cry out. He’s hitting the exact spot he had with his fingers and you brace yourself for what you know is going to be the best sex of your life if his first thrust is any indication of what to expect.

“Yes Frankie,” You look back to him and nod your head.. “Do it, I, I, I want it…”

“Fuck yes gorgeous.”

And that’s it.

Like an explosion going off, it’s dead silence in your head until he starts to move and then BAM! All you can think is fuck fuck fuck! As he hammers into you at a relentless pace… spouting praises and obscenities, you can’t even think straight so you just hold on while he fucks you.

He feels so fucking good… you’re holding on for dear life, but with the way he’s moving you effortlessly it’s as if you weigh nothing. He reaches behind your back and pulls your hips into him as he thrusts his cock into you over and over again. The slap slap slap of your ass on his thighs, the sweat building along every inch of skin between you, and you still haven’t even taken your shirt off yet.

I’m gonna come. You think, but you don’t want to break the bubble that surrounds you both. So you keep it to yourself as he will definitely know when you get there.

“Fuck pretty girl. You feel so Fucking good.”

“Fuck, fuck don’t stop, please God don’t stop.”

“You gonna come for me?” It’s something about the way that he says it… like he’s genuinely in awe of the fact that he was about to get you off with his cock inside you.. The man has said the most lewd things to you and is currently balls deep in your pussy, yet still self deprecating enough to wonder?

“There we go, I can fucking feel it,” his pace never lets up…. “Come on, give it to me, I want it baby. Please?”

You were gone before, but his words, his pleading, tips your right over the edge and you bite the skin of his shoulder so hard you worry that it was too much, but it doesn’t seem to bother him. You’re clenching him so tightly that he speeds up, letting the pressure of your cunt trigger his own orgasm and he comes, hard, hips stuttering against you, finding your mouth so he can kiss you while he paints your walls with his come. He continues to thrust lightly until the feeling becomes too much and he stops. Panting into your mouth as he comes down….. he doesn’t pull out of you, but just rests his head on your clothed chest, listening to your heart beat wildly as you both try to catch your breath.

After what could’ve only been minutes or even hours, you look down at him and he looks up to you at the same time. His bangs are sweaty, so you swipe them to the side. He smiles up at you and that fucking dimple makes your stomach do little flips. Even with his cock still fully sheathed within you, the effect he has on you has you blushing with a stupid looking smile on your face, but you could care less. The little voice in your head is screaming at you again, but you refuse to acknowledge it and decide to ignore its warning, leaning down to capture his lips with yours instead.

You are completely fucked.

—

Back to Present…..

“Does it really matter now?”

“No, not really.” The atmosphere seems to have shifted… you’re not really sure what to say. You realize though, that you both breezed past the point in your story where you thought Frankie would surely draw the line with you.

“For what it's worth, I’m glad you did. Do you think you ever would’ve come up to me eventually?”

He smiles to himself, then he meets your eyes…. “Honestly? Probably not. I was way too chickenshit, but I like to think that I would have. I don’t like thinking that had it not been for Santi, that uh, this,” he motions between the two of you, “wouldn’t have ever happened. His head is too goddamn big as it is. Don’t need to give him any more reason to feel like a big shot.”

“Well it can just stay between us then.”

“I guess it can.”

You’re smiling, genuinely smiling…. You could feel that easy peace you used to have with him fall back into place and you were beyond grateful.

Neither of you say anything for a few minutes, the silence beginning to get awkward as you weren’t sure how to carry on the conversation. He eventually breaks the silence.

“So.” He starts…. A beat goes by so you add to it, “so….”

“So, we meet after I sent Santi to talk to you. We both know how that went so we don’t need to recount our time together if you don’t want to… although, there’s still the question of why…. You still haven’t told me why you left. Or what you’ve been doing since then…. “

There it is. The pit in your stomach opening back up, but you asked him to listen to your story, so you owed it to him to finish.

“I told you that I think it’s hardwired in me to run, right?” Not a question, but you need to emphasize your point.

“Yes, you might have mentioned that a few times so far,” comes his snarky reply. You don’t take offense to it, you just need to make sure you’re on the same page.

“Well, normally I wouldn’t stay in one single place for more than a year at best, or that’s what my track record looks like anyway. I don’t know why that is exactly, but if I had to guess, it all goes back to my parents.” The list of things that could be attributed to the bullshit your parents put you through continues to grow and grow….

“Anyway, I just want to start by saying that it was nothing that you did ok?”

“But it doesn’t make any sense Len. You said you cared too much… what does that even mean?”

“It means that we were getting serious and that had never happened to me before. I’d had boyfriends in the past I guess, but I’d never wanted anything more than that.”

“Ok, but we weren’t doing anything different were we? We were just ‘having fun’ right?” Your words thrown back at you hurt more than you thought they would.

“Yes, we had fun Frankie. It was the future that scared me.”

“I get it, commitment and all that is scary, but what in particular made you feel like you had to leave without a Fucking word? We never even talked about it. The future? None of it. We were just… Together.”

“I know. I know. Like I said, it was nothing that you did.”

“Then please, Len, please explain it to me.” He’s getting frustrated.

“You ripped my fucking heart out….. I never would’ve pressured you into anything.”

“I know that, Frankie…”

“I had thought things at times, sure….”

That gets your attention. You don’t say a word, but let him continue.

“But we’d only been seeing each other for six months and neither of us were anywhere near ready for that. Things were GOOD. And then you just left…

“When I said that I cared too much, I meant that I DID want those things.”

“Ok….. You’re going to have to dumb it the fuck down into terms that I understand sweetheart. Because that makes not one bit of sense.”

You’re trying to figure out how to put it into words. You didn’t have a justifiable reason. It’s always just been a feeling.

As is always the case when you up and leave you just get the feeling that it’s time to go. The problem though was that this time, you hesitated. You felt for the first time like you wanted to stay put. You weren’t ready to leave. Weren’t ready to move on to the next thing. And THAT scared you. You had lived your entire adult life up until that point with literally no end goal in mind. Just taking life as it came. You figured you’d just know when you got there and allowed yourself the freedom to change your mind at a moment's notice.

But with Frankie, you had purposefully blocked out the part of you that kept your walls up and let him in. You refused to listen to your own fucked up voice of reason because you wanted to be selfish. You had always listened to it, always left when your mind decided it was time to go. But you unconsciously fought it this time… ignored it, shushed it, pretended like it wasn’t there until one day it became too much.

—

Two years ago…

It was a day where nothing crazy happened, no drama, no fighting, no scraping by…. You were just… there. In Frankie’s house, where you had been spending a lot more time as of late. That day, just like several others, he was at work and you were just hanging out. Flipping through the TV channels, just thinking about what you and Frankie might do later on.

Then the feeling hit you out of no where, like a shit ton of fucking bricks. It took your breath away, and you started hyperventilating…..

You were WITH Frankie. He was your boyfriend. You were in his house, where you had stayed with him the night before and many other nights before that. He was at work, and you were looking forward to what he might want to do later.

You didn’t do this. You didn’t tie yourself to anything. To anyone. You lived for YOU and you alone.

You felt like the walls were closing in on you. Like you were trapped suddenly. You had to get out of his house. You needed to breathe. So you grabbed your bag, threw in a few items that you could find real quick and were heading toward the door when you passed the fridge.

On it was a photo strip of pictures you and Frankie had taken in a Photo Booth when you had gone to the pier a couple of months ago. He had taken you on the giant Ferris wheel and fed you funnel cakes for the first time.

There were four different poses.. One with silly faces, one with serious faces, one with you both smiling brightly at the camera and one where you were laughing with your eyes closed, and Frankie was smiling, but he was looking at your face and not at the camera.

Your tears came unbidden now, seeing Frankie’s face, knowing what you were about to do broke your heart, but the feeling was so strong that you couldn’t contain it. You couldn’t put any coherent thoughts together, your mind just screaming at you to go go go… You couldn’t stop looking at the last picture. It was your favorite one… So instead, you took it and stuffed it in your bag and left. You would realize later on that that was why you couldn’t go back. The picture alone almost made you stay… If you saw him again in person, you wouldn’t be able to leave him.

—

You never went back. You never called, you never went and got the rest of your things. You just did what you always did, and you ran.

—

Back to Present…..

He’s still waiting on a response from you. Anything really at this point. Words. Something…. The silence was deafening.. so you try it from a different angle to see if you could figure out how to get there.

“You asked me about what I’ve been doing since leaving….”

“I also asked why you left but you haven’t been able to tell me that yet…”

“That’s true. But I don’t have an answer that makes sense. So I’m going to tell you what I’ve done since, which might help it all make sense at the end.”

He looks exhausted…. The confusion is evident on his face, but God bless him, he is trying so hard to understand, even though you don’t deserve it. You decide to just throw it all out there, now that it seems like he is at least not put off by your past…

He’s still here after all?

“After I left, I tried to go back to living the way I always had. But I was hollow. What normally fed my soul and brought me life, just didn’t really do anything for me anymore. I tried, Lord I tried. So hard, but I just couldn’t. I missed you. Frankie. I fucking missed you, and I regret now, every single day that I was gone. I wanted to go back, but my mind,” you put your fingers to your temple for emphasis, “my own mind wouldn’t let me. So dead set on never living like my parents… never giving someone that hold over me…” You wait a moment before moving on.

“I started seeing a therapist. One of the girls at the club I had been working at recommended that I go see one. From her own experience, she said it helped her learn things about herself and that she generally felt better overall. It was worth a shot at the very least. So I went. In the process, I learned a lot about myself. Am still learning a lot about myself. About my trauma as a child. About that feeling of abandonment.. About how I had forged this iron wall around myself that prevented anyone from getting in. I was in control and I wasn’t going to let myself be hurt.”

You think you see it the moment it clicks in his mind. He doesn’t say anything, but the confusion on his face is replaced with something you can’t quite recognize.

“It took me two years to come and find you. Before then, I never had the tools or the knowledge to even understand what I was going through. But I spent those two years learning. Learning about myself, about my family, my past, my feelings and what they meant. All of it. I also spent that time trying to heal wounds that I didn’t even know were there. Gaping wounds that had basically been covered with really shitty bandaids my whole life, because I didn’t know any better.

But they’re healing Frankie. I came here, because I realized, well I had always known, I just never allowed myself to believe it.”

You wait a moment. This was big. You take a deep breath and just go for it.

“I’m in love with you. I’ve been in love with you this entire time. I just didn't know how to let myself accept that I could.”

His jaw is hanging open slightly, his eyes betraying so many different emotions. He still hasn’t said anything. So you continue, hoping that what you were saying made sense to him.

“In short, Frankie, I spent the last two years getting help. I’ve made a lot of progress, but I still have a long way to go. Those feelings that forced me to leave, will always be there. Hardwired, remember? But I have the tools now that I can use to try and push through them.”

He speaks. Finally.

“What did you expect when you came here Len?”

“Nothing. I didn’t, I don’t have any expectations. I just had to make sure you knew. That’s why I’ve been so desperate to talk to you. But then I saw you in person and, well, I lost my composure in a manner of speaking.”

“Where are you staying?” He motions toward the room, “this your hotel?

“Yeah,” you wait for him to continue, but he doesn’t say another word. So you continue.

“Well…. That’s it. That’s the story. I don’t expect you to just forget about the way things happened. I’m also not here to ask you to blindly let me back into your life. I just…. I had to make sure that you knew. Had to make sure you understood the full truth. I came here to tell you in person because you deserved that much.”

He looks pensive… like he’s just taking it all in.

“This doesn’t have to change anything. Hell, I was halfway expecting to find out that you had settled down with someone. I tried to prepare myself for every outcome, I just needed to tell you.”

“Before this,” he clears his throat to start, having not said much in the last while. You’d been talking pretty much nonstop since the beginning.

“Like I said before, I had convinced myself that I hated you. I’ve never felt like that after a breakup before. Sure, they all hurt in their own way, but after you, I felt like I lost a part of myself. Santi is the only one who knows how deep it goes, but I haven’t um, I haven’t been with anyone… I couldn’t. I tried, though. I went on a couple dates Santi tried to set me up with… it was awful.”

“How so?” He looks up to meet your gaze.

“None of them were you.”

“Oh.” Your stomach does a little flip.

“You didn’t have to…. I don’t know Frankie. I’m sorry. I'm so sorry, I… “

“I know….”

“You don’t have to decide anything, if you don’t want to. We can just leave things the way they are and I would understand.”

“What would you want?”

“This isn’t about me… I have no right to decide anything after what I did to you.”

You hope he can feel your sincerity. You truly want whatever happens next to be his choice.

You can practically see the gears turning in his head. He was thinking. If he was anything like you, then the sheer amount of thoughts would become overwhelming. You were still learning how to tamper them down. How to breathe and refocus your attention so your mind didn’t spiral.

“Can we maybe just try to get to know each other again?” You feel tears immediately well in your eyes. You had hoped, but never expected the outcome that you so badly wanted would actually come to be. “I’d really like that Frankie.”

“Ok.” He’s smiling now. “Ok.” You nod and that stupid smile is back on your face.. You’re not sure what to do… he’s still sitting in the chair, and you’re still standing in front of him.

The awkward silence just sits between you momentarily while you both work up the courage to do or say something else, until a loud banging on the door makes you both jump.

“Hey guys, it’s been hours! I better not be getting charged extra for this!”

“Fuck off Pendejo!!!” Frankie yells back.

“You guys kiss and make up yet?”

“Yeah, yeah, yeah….” He looks over to you, then back to the door. “I think we did.”

“Hoooooooo you dog!!! I’m just gonna leave you to it then!” And with that Santi leaves…. The man was frustratingly annoying at times, but you have to admit that without his interference on three separate occasions, you wouldn’t be here with Frankie now.

You look at each other, and you walk over to him. He stands and meets you halfway…. When you reach him, he grabs your hands, rubbing small circles with his thumbs. His palms are warm and you lean your forehead on his chest. He drops your hands as he wraps his arms around you, pulling you into a hug that makes warmth spread throughout your chest and down to your fingertips.

It feels right.

For the first time in your life, it feels like home.

—

A/N: Thank you so much for reading! I’ve tagged some of those who have shown interest in some of my other WIPs or who I think might be interested etc but if you’d rather not be tagged or would LIKE to be tagged just let me know!!! 😊

@boliv-jenta @just-here-for-the-moment @wildemaven @sunnysidekit @harriedandharassed @foli-vora @heythere-mel @iamskyereads @quica-quica-quica @queridopascal @autumnleaves1991-blog

[ladydorian05]

A Home for Broken Hearts ~ Chapter 2

Co-written with @made-ofmemories (she also made the header)

What's this!? Two chapters in one day!?

Yup, two chapters in one day!

You can expect one chapter per week, we'll most likely be posting on Saturdays. And last but not least, we'd love to read what you think of this fic! ❤️ Enjoy!! :D

Word count: 2,810

Master Post

AO3

Chapter 2: Of broken hearts and healing ideas

Robin thinks she’s stealthy, sneaking into Steve’s room, but she might just be the clumsiest person in the entire city and she is not as quiet as she thinks she is, creeping around the admittedly cluttered space. He wakes the minute she opens the door. 

“Rise and shine, Stevie!” She sounds far too chipper, ripping the curtains open and sending him burrowing under the covers when the sunlight hits his squinting eyes. 

“Go away, Robin.” His voice is muffled by the comforter bunched up around his face. It’s too early, his head is pounding and he would very much like to go back to sleep. 

“Not until you tell me what happened last night.” 

He must have woken her when he stumbled into the apartment last night. He doesn’t remember much after passing the threshold, but he must have been loud because Robin sleeps like the dead.

The bed dips as she flops down beside him. He lets out a sigh then rolls over to face her. She’ll drag it out of him one way or another, she always does. Steve had never believed in soulmates, until he met Robin and it was like staring at a part of himself that he hadn’t even known was missing. 

Steve peeks his head out from beneath the blanket and sees Robin’s blue eyes staring back at him expectedly. Laying like this reminds him of the sleepovers they’d have as teenagers, staying up too late talking about everything and nothing. He misses those days, back when all they had to worry about were highschool grades and their shitty part time jobs at the ice cream parlor in the mall where they met.

“I had a date with Heidi. Well, I thought it was a date, turns out she only invited me there to dump me.” He contemplates hiding under the comforter again when he sees the expression on Robin’s face morph into sadness, “Please don’t look at me like that. I’m fine, Robs.”

“Sure you are,” she says, but her tone doesn’t match her words. Damn her and that ability she has to see through every last one of his lies. They do this a lot, Steve pretending he’s unaffected by everything even though they both know he’s got a much bigger heart than he lets on, “So where were you until 3am?”

“Some dive bar downtown.”

“Alone?”

“Alone.”

“How did you get home?” There’s concern creeping into her voice now and he hasn’t even gotten to the best, or maybe worst depending on the point of view, part of his story.

“Some random guy from the bar gave me a ride in his van.” He deadpans.

“What?”

“Yeah, we actually stopped at this- I guess you could call it a construction site?” Steve contemplates without a hint of sarcasm in his voice.

“Please tell me you’re joking.” 

“Will it make you feel better if I say I am?”

“Oh my god. How have you even survived this long?” Robin asks, tangling one of her hands in her hair the way she always does when she’s stressed. She’s taking it better than he expected in all honesty. She’s always been a bit of a worrier. 

“Dumb luck mostly.” He shrugs the shoulder he isn’t lying on, “Now that we’ve established that I’m an idiot, can I please go back to sleep?”

“No. You’re going to drink a glass of water, the biggest one we have. Then we’re going out for lunch and I want to know more about van guy.”

“Lunch? What time is it?” It feels early, too early, not time for lunch. Though that could be down to his pounding headache and the fact he didn’t go to sleep until long after 3am.

“12:30.” He feels the mattress shift again, this time when Robin gets up. She grabs his discarded shirt from the floor and it hits him in the face a second later, “Get dressed I’ll meet you in the kitchen.”

“I hate you,” He says into his pillow, there’s no venom behind it. He looks up just in time to watch her flipping him off as she leaves. 

Robin is sitting on one of the counter tops when he wanders into the kitchen 10 minutes later despite the perfectly good chairs a few feet to her left. She tosses a bottle of tylenol at him, he catches it and mumbles his thanks as he grabs an empty glass from the side of the sink.

Robin’s socked foot pushes into the soft flesh of his side, “That’s not the big one and you know it.” He sets the glass back down and pulls out another from the cupboard, holding it up so she can see it and awaiting her nod of approval before he fills it.

“My car is still at the bar, so you’ll have to drive,” He explains to her, suddenly very thankful for all those driving lessons he gave her over the years. They can pick his car up later, he doesn’t think he’s in any fit state to be driving right now anyway.

“Alright, you ready to go?” She asks once he’s shaken 2 pills from the bottle and swallowed them with a gulp of water.

“Yeah,” He pats the back pocket of his jeans and frowns when he finds it empty, “let me just grab my wallet.” 

He finds his keys on the table by his bedside where he set them after stumbling in earlier that morning, he was sure he’d dumped his wallet there with them but it’s not there. There’s no sign of it after he’s turned the rest of his room upside down either leaving him scratching his head as he sits amidst the pile of laundry he’s dragged out from the basket under the assumption he must have left it in a pocket somewhere. 

“Have you found it yet?” Robin calls. He’d tasked her with searching the couch in case it had somehow ended up wedged between the cushions, it wouldn’t be the first time.

“No.” He sticks his head out of his room to check up on her progress.

“I’m starving,” She whines, “let's just go. I’ll pay. We can tear the place apart looking for it later.” 

“Just, let me check my room once more then we can go I swear.”

There’s a knock at the front door and Steve’s pretty sure that’s the only reason she doesn’t argue with him.

“Make it quick, Harrington!” She calls and he darts back into his room whilst she goes to deal with whoever is knocking at their door on a Saturday afternoon. They hadn’t been expecting company, at least none that he was aware of.

He abandons his laundry theory and turns instead to rifling through his drawers. It’s got to be in here somewhere. He’s onto the second drawer when he hears Robin’s voice ringing through the apartment.

“Hey, Stevie! I found your wallet.” 

She’s holding the front door open, a smirk on her face as she watches him come barreling out of his room then freeze in his tracks when he sees none other than Eddie standing in the doorway holding up what appears to be Steve’s wallet. 

He’s wearing an outfit similar to the one from the previous night, only this time there’s a leather jacket over his t-shirt and there’s a different yet still unfamiliar logo on the front of it. The only major difference in his appearance is his hair, it’s untied today, falling in loose curls down to his shoulders.

“Figured you might be missing this.” He’s smiling as he holds out the Wallet in Steve’s direction, “Found it under the passenger seat this morning.”

“Thanks, man, I appreciate it.” 

He tucks the wallet into his pocket and thinks that’ll be the end of it, but Eddie lingers, twirling one of his rings around his index finger. Steve doesn’t know him well enough to tell whether it’s a nervous habit or just something he does.

“There’s actually something I wanted to show you,” Eddie says, “if you’re not busy.”

“We were just heading out to get lunch.” Steve explains, jabbing his thumb in the direction of Robin.

“Oh Lunch can wait, I want to see this.”

“What happened to ‘I’m starving, Steve, I’m going to waste away if we don’t get lunch within the next 10 seconds, Steve’.” 

It’s a poor imitation of Robin’s voice, one that has her curling her lip at him in disgust. It makes Eddie chuckle though, a sound Steve finds himself really liking, which is maybe a little concerning given the fact they’ve known each other for less than 24hrs. That’s an issue for future Steve to unpack. 

“Come on, what’re you waiting for?!” She throws both of her hands up in frustration, the keys in her hand jangling with the movement. She’s already halfway down the hallway while Steve and Eddie haven’t moved.

Steve and Robin take her car, a modern, bright yellow vw beetle that she had started saving for since before she even knew how to drive, and Eddie leads the way in his van. 

Hellfire looks pretty much the same as Steve’s slightly fuzzy memory of it. There’s a little sunlight streaming through the cracks in some of the window coverings and a lot more people milling around, but it still looks just as much of a construction site. 

“Eddie? Is that you?” It’s a feminine voice, cheery and light. At first Steve can’t determine where it’s coming from until a head of strawberry blonde hair pops up from behind the bar.

“I brought some visitors,” Eddie says to the mystery woman who is making her way over to them, then turns his attention to Steve and Robin again, “This is Chrissy my…”

“Business partner,” She supplies when he struggles to find the words.

“Nice to meet you, I’m Steve.”

“Robin.”

“Chrissy helps me out with just about everything.” He pulls her into a one armed hug and she pushes him away playfully with a smile. It’s clear they’re close, but Steve can’t quite figure out what the story between them is. He is, however, sure there’s more to it than simple business partners, “She’s pretty much the only reason anything gets done around here.”

“Yes, I am, which is why I need to get back to work,” She shares a glance with Eddie that Steve can’t quite decipher, it’s the same type of silent communication he and Robin have perfected through many many years of friendship, “It was lovely meeting you both,” She says, her face morphing back into something more open and friendly when she addresses Steve and Robin.

Chrissy leaves them, navigating through the mess of covered up furniture and construction equipment with so much ease Steve is sure she could do it blindfolded.

“Ok, it’s just over here,” Eddie explains, returning to their original task and the whole reason they’re here in the first place. 

He leads them to the wall where Steve had left the scrunchie last night, but now there’s something beside it, two tickets pinned to the wall with messy handwriting scrawled next to them.

‘James skipped town 3 days

before this concert

and didn’t bother to tell me.’

“Heidi?” Robin questions, ignoring the tickets entirely and looking at Steve’s message from last night, “Steve, did you do this?”

“Yeah,” Steve waves her off, he’ll catch her up on everything over lunch, “but who left those?” 

“Don’t know.” Eddie shrugs, “Found them when I got here this morning. Could’ve been anyone there’s people in and out of this place all the time, construction worker, delivery guy, who knows.”

“Holy shit,” Steve says, running his fingers over the edge of the tickets.

“Yeah, holy shit,” Robin echoes, “Do you know how long I’ve been trying to get him to lose some of the ex memorabilia?” She asks Eddie, “Seriously, you should see his room, it's like a mausoleum in there. He once kept a gum wrapper, with a wad of chewed up gum in it for over a year.”

“Alright, thank you very much for that Robin, but I think that’s enough.” Steve cuts her off with a stern glare.

“A mausoleum for broken hearts,” Eddie muses.

Robin’s face lights up with an idea at Eddie’s words. She grabs the marker from the table they had passed on the way over here, the same pen Steve and presumably whoever left the tickets had used to scrawl on the wall.

‘The broken hearts gallery, leave your heartbreak here’

“There,” She says, stepping back to admire her work, “It could be like a community project, maybe there’s more hoarders like Steve out there who need a place where they can learn to let go.”

“I am not a hoarder,” Steve protests, indignant at the mere suggestion, “It’s a good idea though, maybe it’ll help people.”

“Wait, wait, wait,” Eddie interrupts, waving his hands in front of him as he steps between them, “as much as I’m all for self expression. Maybe a literal construction site isn’t the best place for your little art project?”

“It’s the perfect place,” Robin insists, “I can set up some social media accounts, start spreading the word.”

“We could ask for tips for each donation too,” Steve suggests, “You can put the money back into this place.”

“And Steve can help out with the labor, you guys look busy, an extra pair of hands would be good right?” Steve’s glaring at her again, but she’s unphased, “Oh what? It’s not like you’ve got anything better to do.” 

She’s right, she usually is, it’s annoying.

“It would,” Eddie confirms, taking a moment to consider the offer before he says “alright, deal.”

They agree to meet again on Monday at 8am, Chrissy seems thrilled with the news when Eddie calls her over to let her know about their newest volunteer and they share another one of those silent conversations passed through a series of unreadable expressions. 

Chrissy and Eddie are an unusual pair, it was evident the moment Eddie had introduced her to them, and it continues to be evident now. Chrissy is wearing a pair of light wash jeans and a peach t-shirt with a white ribbon tied into a bow holding up her slicked back ponytail, meanwhile Eddie is all dark denim and leather. They couldn’t look more different if they tried. And for all her caution, Robin seems to have taken to them both rather quickly, so much so that he’s surprised she doesn’t invite them to lunch.

They eat at their usual haunt, a little cafe they frequent so often because Robin insists they sell the best apple pie in the whole city. Steve is just glad to have a good cup of coffee placed down in front of him.

Robin spends most of the time with her nose buried in her phone, occasionally passing it across the table to ask Steve’s approval on whatever social media page she’s setting up now. Should it be the broken heart gallery or the broken hearts gallery? Does he think this picture is better or this one? 

“Sure,” He agrees despite not really knowing what the question was. She frowns at him, wrong answer, “Sorry.” 

“I know I kind of just sprung this on you,” Robin starts, her voice is soft a tone she reserves only for serious conversations, “but we don’t actually have to go through with this whole gallery thing if you’re not into it. I just thought it would be good for you to have something to focus on that isn’t...” She stalls, making a few vague gestures with her hands.

“My failed love life or my non-existent career?” He says and she cracks a smile at his bluntness. 

“Yeah, that.”

“I think it’s a good idea, and you’re right. I can’t just mope around the apartment for the rest of my life.” Oh how he wishes he could. 

“Eddie is kinda hot too.”

“Robin!” He scolds.

“What? I’m gay not blind, Steve.” 

“Alright we are not having this conversation,” Steve decides, hurrying to change the subject. 

It’s not like he hasn’t noticed. Maybe if circumstances were different he’d even consider making a move, but he’s in the midst of yet another failed relationship and the risk of making things awkward with Eddie is too great when the guy is letting them use a space in his property for Robin’s idea free of charge.

She holds up her hands in surrender, “I’m just saying.” 

“Show me those pictures again.” 

She obliges, passing her phone over to show him the two very rough drafts of a logo she has put together. 

“One on the right for sure.” 

“That’s what I thought!” She beams, excitedly taking the phone from him and continuing to tap away at the screen. 

What has he let himself be dragged into?

<Chapter 1 ~ Masterpost ~ Chapter 3>

[ac-goddess-of-destruction]

LOOK OUT FOR THE LITTLE GUY

I've read the book (it's a really nice read, if you have the time and interest to read it, do it. You won't regret it.). Anyway, I've decided to compile all the mentions of Scott and Hope's relationship present in the book for those who won't read it for whatever reason. Warning: This is a LOOONG post (there are two full chapters of the book in here!). ALSO, all the credit goes to the writer(s) and all the people involved in its making. I literally just copied chunks of it and put it.

DEDICATION

TO MY TWO FAVORITE PARTNERS: HOPE AND CASSIE, THIS ONE’S FOR YOU!

INTRODUCTION

(Scott fills the readers in on all the events he was present from the first Ant-Man to the Civil War and then Endgame)

“That’s when—thanks to Thanos—half of all life in the universe disappeared. So no, no peace on Earth or anywhere else. I wasn’t around for those five years of missing people (you’ll find out why soon), but I came back just in time, jumped to a different timeline, fought, like, every bad guy in the universe on a field in upstate New York, helped the Avengers stop Thanos, and put all the people back where they belonged. Including, last but not least, putting my precious Hope back together with me!”

REDOS & REDON’TS

“I was five years behind the rest of the world just trying to process it. Then it suddenly got super-personal. As I soon came to learn, my newly adopted family—Hank, Hope, and Janet—were also no more.”

MAKING YOUR HOUSE ARREST…A HOME ARREST

“One advantage of having a house decorated “bachelor-style” is that there’s just about nothing for you to break or stain, and even if you do, no one will care. I didn’t have Hope around to disapprove of my mess (which, I have to admit, gave me a slight twinge of sadness every time I made one). So instead, I leaned in to the other “special girl” [Cassie] in my life and gave her every inch of grubby floor I could.”

[THE FREEDOM PARADOX]

“Under normal conditions, all day long I have nothing but options. I can basically fly (well, at least while riding an ant or catching a ride with Hope).”

Q: Besides having wings, is the Wasp suit the same as the Ant-Man one?

A: First of all, I’m going to pause on that “besides,” because I’ve still never gotten agood explanation from Hank about this obviously glaring injustice! He always mumbles some tech gibberish about “lift/drag issues,” and then suddenly he “has a meeting.”

But there are two main differences between the Wasp and Ant-Man suits that I’m aware of. One are these wrist- mounted gauntlets that can fire powerful blasters, which Hope has used in some key battles. The other difference, which I admittedly don’t fully understand, is a more intuitive—as opposed to manual—control system. Basically, I have to use buttons to change size, whereas Hope can just control this feature with her mind.

This allows her to amplify her strength. And, considering how strong she is at normal size, let me just say: Do not mess with the tiny Wasp!” - FAAMQ [Frequently Asked Ant-Man Questions]

ANT, INC.

(Scott is recounting the events of the 1st Ant-Man)

“So Hank started me on regular training sessions with my tiny future colleagues. (For the record, this was already on top of daily, physically exhausting combat training sessions with Hope. But that I didn’t mind as much, because, you know, getting to be with Hope!)”

“To really get through to ants, Hope and Hank had taught me that you have to maintain this extreme, almost meditative level of focus on precisely what you want to say to them.

Easier said than thought!

(...) Fortunately, Hope got to the heart of my problem. She helped me figure out that I couldn’t focus because ultimately I kept thinking about Cassie. So, like the martial- arts master she is, Hope showed me how to turn that from a weakness into a strength: to use that burning concern as a laser beam to focus my intentions, and block out everything else.”

“I climbed out of the mound, dejected and feeling like a failure. Definitely letting that mind of mine wander again, back to all the usual places. Hank is going to send me back to jail. Hope will never love me. I’ll never get to see Cassie again!

When I walked back into the lab, full-sized again, Hank as always had the perfect words for my current state of mind: “What the hell are you doing here?”

Fortunately, Hope was a little more sympathetic. Even though she still had her doubts about me, she also reminded her dad of how his early experiments with the EMP were huge fails.

(...) She counseled me on how to present myself as more than just not a threat—as someone who they willingly followed because I “got them.” Ants, just like people, respond better to direction from someone capable of seeing their perspective.

I hit the shrink button again and climbed back into the Hill, pondering Hope’s challenge.”

ANT-MAN & THE WASP: SECOND DATE, OR SECOND CHANCE?

(Entire chapter)

SOME COUPLES HAVE A “meet-cute.” Some meet online. Many more meet at a bar than is really advisable.

Hope and I had a meet-weird.

And I don’t mean just how, the first time we laid eyes on each other, I was waking up in her father’s bed, surrounded by a brigade of sentry ants prepared to devour me like a giant bread crumb. Or that we got to know each other’s “vulnerabilities” through weeks of brutal martial-arts training. Or that the first time we shared a tear, it wasn’t after an argument or a sappy movie. It was over the death of a half-inch-long insectile colleague named “Ant-thony.” (RIP wherever you are, little guy!)

And the way we originally met…? Let’s just say, how many relationships have you had that began with you breaking into your (future) partner’s dad’s basement to steal a piece of secret technology?

At least there was one way in which our relationship was typical: We had a little “difficult patch” and broke up for a while. But even then, the way we got back together was…okay, once again, weird. I want to share the story with you, because it kind of leads to later events with the Avengers. But one thing I’ve learned about being in a relationship (sometimes the hard way!) is that two different people can experience the same thing together…in two entirely different ways. So to make sure I’m getting the story straight, I’m sitting down with Hope to hear, and share, her take on what happened.

It all started right after our Pym Tech heist, when I was recruited by some Avengers to go fight some other Avengers. (See? It’s not just couples who have breakups.) Unfortunately, in doing so, I kind of borrowed the Ant-Man suit and took it to Germany without asking permission.

Hope has quite a different take on this. As she recounts it, “My father and I had just begun to trust you, and to think of you as someone who could possibly join the tight- knit circle of what we Pym/Van Dynes had devoted our lives to. In my mom’s case, what she’d sacrificed so much of her life for. And besides trust, I was starting to develop some…non-professional feelings for you, too. And then you went and betrayed everything.”

That perspective explains why Hope (and Hank) cut off all ties to me for the next two years while I was put under house arrest for acting as an “unregistered Super Hero” in that intra-Avenger fracas.

Still, you know me! I prefer to focus on the positive. Like Hope’s and my emotional reunion when she came to spring me from house arrest to help her and Hank.

But as before, Hope says she experienced somewhat…different feelings during that reunion. In her words: “Disgust. Did you spend the entire two years in that bathrobe? And also, disgust on a deeper level. Seeing you again, remembering you in Dad’s suit, and what you had done with it, it brought up all kinds of complicated feelings I’d been trying to put behind me.”

Fortunately for both of us (and eventually, the world) Hope doesn’t let any feeling get in the way of a mission. Especially one involving her mother. Janet Van Dyne, wife of Hank, formerly known as The Wasp, had been trapped in the Quantum Realm for decades, but she had recently found a way to contact us. And now we were going to try to find her by going back into Hank’s Quantum Tunnel.

Except to do that, we needed a key component, and the only way we could get it was from this sleazebag underground tech dealer named Sonny Burch. So we set up a meeting with him to buy it. Only, during that meeting, Burch figured out who Hope was and double-crossed her to steal Hank’s lab, which had been shrunk down to the size of a suitcase.

Hope, again, remembers this a bit differently. According to her, “There was no ‘we.’ It was me alone at that skeevy hotel bar with Burch and his cronies, then suddenly I was fighting them off alone, then you showed up too late, then you let that glowing woman named ‘Ghost’ run off with the lab!”

I’m not sure this is a completely fair assessment. But I can see why Hope felt that way, because at that point, she was still very untrusting of me. Our first meetup in two years, and the first thing I do is put her dad’s life’s work in jeopardy—for the second time.

Scott “glass half full of Pym Particles” here again: We got the suitcase lab back!

However, Hope reminds me, “Actually, before that, we got captured by Ghost—who was only going to let us go if we healed her quantum energy problems by killing my mom!”

Obviously, that was unacceptable, so we managed to escape, got the tunnel working again, and even, finally, got into direct communication with Janet Van Dyne. What a relief!

Again, though, from Hope’s POV, “relief” wasn’t what she was feeling. She reminds me that it wasn’t exactly direct communication, as—thanks to a bizarre property of the Quantum Realm—Janet was actually speaking through me.

As she puts it, “Can you imagine anything more disturbing than hearing your long-thought- to-be-dead mother’s words coming out of your ex-boyfriend’s mouth?”

Honestly, I can’t. And I’d really rather not try.

But still, we’d actually found Janet! And now the only challenge was figuring out how we could get into the Quantum Realm to rescue her.

Here, too, Hope remembers a few more complications. “There was also the fact your prison buddies had ratted Dad and me out, getting us arrested by the FBI. Plus Ghost still had my dad’s stolen work.”

Of course, she’s right, and that was a really rough road. I don’t mean to downplay it. I think it was just that, because Hope and I had survived tougher scrapes, my confidence in us—a confidence that I understand she wasn’t quite feeling at that point—was keeping me going.

And this is where I’m really glad I asked Hope to join me for this, because what she says next is a bit of a revelation to me…

“Scott, you don’t know what it was like growing up with Hank Pym as a father…seeing how important all of this was to him…feeling how he lived and died over every breakthrough and setback. And here we were, on the cusp of losing all of it.”

She’s right. I really had no clue about how deeply all this cut for her until now. Both Hope and Hank play things so close to the vest, sometimes it’s hard to see how hard the disappointments hurt them where it counts.

But to get back to the story, I definitely owed Hank Pym a “Get Out of Jail Free” card, so I used some of my old ex-con skills to bust us out of FBI custody. Then we took on Ghost, endured a seemingly endless series of car chases, and battled back and forth for possession of that shrunken lab all the way to San Francisco Bay. That’s where I used the suit to go giant and snatch Hank’s lab back once and for all.

As I talked about briefly before, using Pym Particles to turn gigantic takes a toll. Although I successfully grabbed the (then, to me, minuscule) lab, I also lost consciousness and plunged into the bay—where the World’s Greatest Super Hero rescued me from a watery grave.

Hope seems okay with this description.

Then, after a tiny-hair-raising expedition into the Quantum Realm, Hank managed to get Janet back out. Whew! All’s well that ends well.

Right?

At this point, Hope remains silent for a minute. Then, slowly and carefully, she speaks. “I spent that day in absolute terror about my mom.”

She continues, “And that was on top of all the tough stuff we’d been through. Someone always going to prison. Multiple sociopaths trying to kill us, sometimes at the same time. And then, having my mom come back from what we thought was the dead after three decades? I know I act like nothing fazes me, but it was a lot.”

She’s right. It was. And here’s what I’m telling Hope, and what I also want to tell you, about whatever you’re going through—on the inside or outside. Whether it involves glowing quantum ladies or not:

You don’t have to deal with this alone.

In a strange way, I think that insight might be part of how Hope and I eventually managed to patch things up. I had broken her and her Dad’s trust, massively. But during all this we found a way of connecting again.

You see, Hope didn’t share a lot of what she was going through at the time. In fact, I’m just finding out about a lot of it right now, as I write this!

But as the two of us dove back into the fray together, part of me was working twice as hard to show her how dedicated I was to her and her dad (and mom)—to prove how much they meant to me. I’d like to think that just enough of that “being there 200 percent” got through to her.

And since I don’t see Hope shaking her head “No,” I’ll keep going and conclude with one more thought:

“Being there 200 percent” is something we all can do for each other, no matter what kind of relationship we’re in. Or what relationship we’re trying to mend. I managed to prove to Hope that she wasn’t alone, because I was there—and not going anywhere.

And on this point, Hope says our stories are in perfect alignment.”

SIDE BY SIDE SUPER HEROING WITH YOUR SIGNIFICANT OTHER

(Entire chapter)

“OKAY, SO NOW HOPE and I were back together, for what seemed like the long haul. Which meant we were now facing one of those paradoxes of life: Sometimes you fight the most with the one you love. But what if you’re also simultaneously fighting Super Villains?

Clearly disregarding the time-tested maxim “Don’t date at work,” I’ve come to appreciate both the perks and pitfalls of this lifestyle.

Confusingly, though, those perks and pitfalls often go hand in hand. To illustrate what I mean, imagine working, very closely and on a daily basis, with the person you’re most attracted to in the world. And then, during that work, seeing them at their very best: strong, steady, steely under even the most terrifying conditions. Always cool-headed and mission-focused. And to top it all off, bringing all those qualities to the service (and usually, life-saving) of others!

Sometimes it takes more than Super Hero strength to not feel overwhelmed by a gusher of love and admiration.

And when you do find yourself with them in a moment of respite, especially if it happens to be in a beautiful location (hey, Super Villains like to get outside sometimes, too), it can get very confusing. Part of your brain is screaming, “Remember why you two are here together,” while another part is murmuring, “Hey, couldn’t we just steal a moment to enjoy this nice place we ended up together?”

To say nothing of those situations when you’re trapped with them in a very small space and are reminded of just how darn good she always smells.

And that’s one of the good problems!

A larger complication in this perpetually unbalanced work-life balance is what I call fighting other battles. Perhaps this rings true in your relationships as well? You’re yelling and screaming at each other over the stupidest thing, and often it’s not until later that you realize that all that rage was not even truly about that thing! It was about a completely different stupid thing that you were annoyed about earlier, but which never got resolved.

The dangerous part is when that pent-up unfought fight spills over into the actual life-or-death one you’re currently engaged in. “Oh, so you can aim that reducing disc right at an oncoming military transport vehicle, but you can’t toss a T-shirt into the laundry hamper?” “Oh, so you’ll take three punches to the head from a mercenary but you’re afraid to try one bite of my world- famous ‘Chili Dog Meatloaf’?”

The good news is, there’s a quick way out of any of these intertwined battles. It’s by reciting a set of words so devastatingly powerful, even Doctor Strange has nothing that competes.

Those magical words? “You’re right, I’m sorry.”

Another anxiety I’ve felt in all my relationships, but which takes on a sharper hue on the battlefield, is one I call exposing your true self.

And I don’t mean that alter-ego/secret identity game. Let’s face it: Ever since Tony Stark straight-up announced to the world, “I am Iron Man!” that whole move has lost its subversive cool factor. Nowadays, the only reaction I get from clearing my throat, retracting my helmet, and proclaiming in a deep, rich, dramatic baritone, “I am Ant- Man,” is, “Noted. And would Ant-Man like curly fries with that?”

No, what I’m talking about is revealing your worst traits to the last person you’d ever want to think any less of you.

For me, that worry comes up around the issue of showing fear around Hope. Which I know, on an intellectual level, is just silly. Maybe it’s a hero complex (yes, even actual heroes get them). But for me at least it’s real, and it’s a constant struggle.

And what’s odd is, it’s not really even my biggest problem. I’m fairly proud of the fact that—whether facing down one half of Earth’s Mightiest Heroes or the Universe’s Biggest Threat—I don’t scare that easily. But Hope doesn’t even seem capable of fear. It’s like the woman was born without an amygdala. Or maybe she’s just trained it out of herself, with that same steely drive and determination that first made her a hero and now has made her a business leader.

Either way, the upshot is, when I get even just a little bit scared, I get more scared of Hope seeing me scared. If that was confusing to follow, imagine trying to keep a handle on it in the middle of a fight.

Sometimes in the heat of battle, I can’t help but stop and think, “She likes me?” This usually happens right before I get knocked unconscious.

Another challenge to my sense of combat-time couple zen is temper. When all your senses are locked onto defeating your foe, you don’t have a lot of mental gas left in the tank to choose your words carefully. So what happens when the two of you have a plan, but it’s swiftly going wrong? Or even worse, when the plan is still good but one of you forgot or screwed up their part? And the bad guy is using that advantage to close in!

There was this one time when the two of us were cut off from out resizing controls, a set of mechanical gears were getting to chew up, and Hope felt, correctly, that we could have escaped the situation more easily had I loaded in the magnetized grappling hook rather than the unmagnetized one.

However, Hope chose to express this sentiment in language… so colorful, it informed me that she indeed know a four-letter would besides “can’t.”

Now, in even the most benign situations, the tendency in a couple is to lash out, because you know the other person can “take it”. You feel, as it were, safe.

But in battle, you’re literally the opposite of safe.

And you know that expression “Watch out or you might say something you regret”? In the civilian world, that’s of course great advice, along with “Never go to bed angry.” You really do never know with 100 percent certainty if you might never see a loved one alive again. But for romantically connected Super Heroes, there’s a very high statistical chance this is the very last thing you ever say to them!

Long story short, Hope and I obviously survived that near-metal mastication, as did our relationship. It just takes some getting used to, that idea that you have to fight to preserve both at the same time.

Another layer to that self-consciousness, which might be unique to me but I suspect really isn’t, is that additional meta-fear of letting her dad down. Nowadays I think I’ve proved myself to Hank Pym as a proper heir to the Ant-Man suit. But in a funny way, having earned his approval, now I feel even more anxious about losing even a drop of it. Maybe because it was so hard-won, or maybe because I’m starting to see him as a role model for the kind of hero I want to be.

Now obviously, Hope is in every possible way her own person who makes her own decisions. But somehow, subconsciously, there’s still a part of me that feels like I’m living on a borrowed time. Like one day, I’m going to screw things up too much, and Hank is going to swoop in (likely ferried by a river of ants) and say, “Nope. This phase of the ‘experiment’ is over.”

So that, along with the other stuff, translates into a kind of perfectionism I try to hold myself to all the time, which is completely unrealistic. And going completely impossible to remove from the ongoing soundtrack of “You don’t really deserve this, Scott” that lives in my brain 24/7. Even though I’ve bounced back countless times, there’s a still a live, burning piece of me that sees myself as no more than convict/divorcé/absentee dad. It takes more mental energy than I’d like to quiet that voice, or at least convince it that others don’t see me that way. And when things sometimes go south with Hope, as they do in all relationships, I can hear it shouting, “You see? She knows you’re still no go at the core.”

It also doesn’t help when I remember how happy my ex Maggie is with her new guy. That accusatory voice now switches over and starts asking, “Are you just standing in the way of Hope being much happier with another guy?”

Now the good news is, having lived and loved through this rocky terrain, I’ve found some bright spots as well. One is that Hope and I—like most couples who’ve been together for a while—have a secret language. Shorthand, absurd names, shared references, and inside jokes that can be as helpful in situations with no time to spare as it is annoying when we play Charades with friends. Cracking those jokes can also be critical to boosting each other’s morale in moments when all seems lost. On the other hand, an inopportune but uncontrollable snicker can also be the thing that fatally gives away your position.

Along these lines, we’ve also developed a pretty keen talent for anticipating the other’s move. No, not the way you’re undoubtedly thinking—on the dance floor. There’s no hope for me there. But when we’re locked in combat, even a telepath couldn’t keep up with the speed of our nonverbal communication.

And as unbelievable as it sounds, taking on evil can be a really helpful form of relationship building. Love experts say that for a couple to stand the test of time, they should have an “indoor hobby” and an “outdoor hobby”. Fortunately, when you’re going on high-stakes missions, you often get both of those things in one afternoon.

Heroing it up together also helps with your sense of relationship chill. Put simply, after a long day or week or quantum half-decade of battling baddies, the two of us just come home and collapse of the sofa. Which is heaven. We get to do normal couple things, like disagree over who’s killing the plants faster. Hope gets to let guard down and get extremely, almost frighteningly passionate over who needs to go home from Dating-Show Island. I get to see her actually, atypically, be bad at something. (For example: When we play a video game together….well, let’s just say that Hope would probably better mowing down zombies in real life—not like that would ever happen!)

But the main saving is, we’re just too exhausted to argue about anything. Which I admit doesn’t help with the “unresolved issues” point I made above. But it’s a nice feeling to come home and settle into. It makes out humble, slightly stained sofa feel more secure than even the Raft prison.

And that feeling is just one example of how what Hope and I do together helps us appreciate couplehood. There are soooo many “troubled loners” in our profession, on both the good and evil side, it almost seems like a job requirement.

By contrast, Hope and I balance each other.

She’s calm, I’m alert. She’s sky, I’m earth. She commands, I obey.

But all these perks of being “heroes with benefits” pale next to the biggest one of all. The greatest advantage to being lovers and fighters is that it gives you a true sense of life’s priorities. A lot of the time we Super Heroes don’t exactly see the people we’re saving; we have to just to hold the idea in our heads, abstractly. In our case, we see what’s at stake every moment, and then Hope races me into the house, wins (of course), flashes me that incredibly hard-won half smile, and a light in my heart comes on and recharges all my batteries at once.

Put simply, every day the two of us come back home together, in one piece, is a miracle, a precious gift. The most precious gift, to which no super-power granted by serum or gamma ray or technology could compare.

And when you’ve got that, you are the most literal definition of invincible.”

FROM BEGINNING TO ENDGAME

“Okay, so as I was just recounting last chapter, I wasn’t actually around for the Blip myself. But I got filled in on what had happened by Nat and Cap. And now our next move was to go crash Tony Stark’s cabin in the woods with my idea for fixing things: using the Quantum Realm to bring everyone back.

(…) Then again, what if it didn’t work? What if I unleashed the cruelty of getting everyone’s hopes up in an already unbearable time, only to squash them for good? What if I failed the Avengers—and Hope?

(…) I made a final emotional plea to Tony: “I know you have a lot on the line. You have a wife, a daughter. But I lost someone… very important to me. A lot of people did. And now—now we have a chance to bring her back, to bring everyone back, and you’re telling me that you won’t even—

Tony interrupted, “That’s right, Scott: I won’t even. I can't.””

(Scott is recounting the Battle at the Avengers Compound after Thanos and his Army raid —post Smart Hulk Snap)

“And… could it be? My giant heart skipped a beat at the sight of a very familiar pair of mechanized wings.

Wasp wings.

Our second snap had brought back millions.

And yet at this moment, it took only one of them for me to finally feel like my world had come back. Hope and hope together, a sight so beautiful it seemed to gleam straight into my tinted helmet.”

“To Cap, though, that was just my next assignment. He told me to get the van tunnel working, and they’d get the Stone to me.

(…) And then I felt a hand on my shoulder. Hope was by my side. As always. And suddenly the path felt completely clear.

We gave each other a look, a with one mind we went tiny, and we went for it.”

GO BIG, THEN GO HOME

“I hit the regulator button and BOOM! Big Me. (…) What I didn’t expect was that I would suddenly feel off-balance. I began to teeter, which is the last thing you want when you’re in a position to squash tens of millions of dollars’ worth of equipment plus an amazing woman you really, really want to love you.

Even worse, on the inside I was flailing for emotional balance.

(…) what if I let down Hope, and Hank?”

REGRETS? I’VE HAD A TON

“A lot of people have asked me how I managed to ruin a perfectly good marriage with Maggie. Well, I’ve given this a lot of thought over a lot of time, and I’ve finally come to understand what my biggest mistake was in this case.It was sharing with my life partner everything. Not just my own “plans” regarding VistaCorp. That was more like the final straw in a lot of “strategic miscommunications” on my part.

(…) But then of course I wouldn’t be with Hope.”

“Another bad move buried inside a good move was how I handled the big airport fight in Germany.

Nor—and this is still painful—do I completely regret doing this in secret from Hank and Hope, with equipment I stile from them. In fairness, there was just no way I could have told them. If they were caught and questioned about it—and admitted they knew what I was up to and didn’t stop me—they’d be liable as accomplices. Which would extra piss off Hope because she prefers to think of me as the accomplice.”

ANT ON THE WALL

“Q: Will you marry me?

A: What a sweet note! I’m so flattered, but I’m also still definitely with Hope.

However, I will print this out for the next time we have a fight and she makes me sleep on the Ant-Couch.” – FAAMQ [Frequently Asked Ant-Man Questions]

FROM ANT TO MAN

“Q: What was the Quantum Realm like?

A: (…)  to be fair, I only spent what felt like five hours there, most of them focusing all my attention on trying to escape and screaming, “HOOOOPE!””  – FAAMQ [Frequently Asked Ant-Man Questions]

SUNDAY IN THE LAB WITH HANK

(Not LangDyne but so wholesome)

“And then, only then, did Hank Pym drop his ultimate bombshell:

“Actually, son, seems like you’ve picked up on it [using the suit] pretty well, too. Other than Janet or Hope, there’s no one I trust more with my tech.””

“Q: Would you be willing to auction off a date with you for our charity?

A: How flattering! I do like to help out whenever I can for a good cause. I’d love to.

However, just some fair warning: Beyond the fact that I’m still with Hope, I am lousy on a date!”  – FAAMQ [Frequently Asked Ant-Man Questions]

SIZING IT ALL UP

(The bit Scott is reading at the beginning of Ant-Man and The Wasp: Quantumania)

“What can I say? Sometimes you just get lucky. I’m lucky I met Hope Van Dyne. I think you know who she is by now. She’s taken back her dad’s company. Now she’s using the Pym Particle for global change. A lot of people say they want to save the world. But Hope—she saves it every day. Reforestation. Affordable housing. Food production. She’s not wasting a second.

I still can’t believe it; none of this should have happened. But it did.

One thing I admire most about Hope and her work is how she’s not sitting back, wondering how bad things could have gone differently. She’s taking charge and making change. Hope is racing ahead to fix future things now. She’s moved on in a way that I’m still struggling to do.

And don’t get me wrong: It’s not that I’m trapped in negativity. Sure, our planet will continue to face threats and problems. But on the whole, it’s a pretty good world. I’m glad we saved it.”

(Not LangDyne stuff or references but really nice bits that some people need to hear from someone, even if it is from a fictional character)

“You are in this place and time for a reason, and no one else is. And so—when that next uncertain, unlikely, “impossible” step is revealed to you—I urge you with every particle in my body, Pym or otherwise, to turn that “Why me?” into a “Why not me?””- Chapter “Introduction”

“Well, you know the old cliché “When life gives you lemons, make lemonade”?

That cliché wants to force you to create your next move out of what you’ve been given. But there’s one very important word in there that’s often ignored: YOU.

In other words, forget the lemons. Life has already given you a you that’s like no other. And that’s what you’re better off making stuff out of.” - Chapter “Redos & Redon’ts”

“Tears are acidic, which means they dissolve stuff. But not just chemically—spiritually. They don’t dissolve your strength. They dissolve the glue that keeps you sealed into an earlier version of yourself.” - Chapter “Redos & Redon’ts”

“You are so much more than who you “were.”

Especially as you get further away from what shaped you in the past. You aren’t limited by who you are. Or at least the way others describe you.

You are what you can do. To rebuild is to take what you know how to do—no matter how unconventional or questionable that skill might seem to you now—and figure out how to do it differently. How to use it to take your life in a new direction. A better one.” - Chapter “Redos & Redon’ts”

“Maybe this was just the quantum physics talking, but I saw that I was always a different me, depending on when I was observed.

And that—more than any of Bruce’s devices—gave me the clarity to find my way to the right me.

But take it from me: You don’t need to experiment with quantum physics to get that insight for yourself. You already contain so many more versions of you than you can imagine. You just to locate them, accept their benefits and liabilities, and turn those into the best mixture of yous possible. Because that’s the you that the world needs now.

You’ve got it all inside you. You just need to learn to let it out.” – Chapter “Ages Of Lang”

“(…) regret traps us. Introspection frees us.” – Chapter “Regrets? I’ve Had A Ton”

“I want to tell you something important: You, in the exact life you’re right now, can be a hero, too.

(…) you may not have super abilities, but you definitely already have two incredible powers: a heart to care, and a voice to speak out. All you have to do is learn to use them.

First, heart.

(…) A little friendly human interaction—even something as simple as a smile or a compliment on their funny T-shirt—is a way of saying, “I see you, and I don’t take you for granted.”

(…) The good news is, you don’t need Pym Particles to instantly make someone feel bigger. Just like you can use your heart to join forces with the little guys, you can use your voice to join them on the battlefield.

To be clear, I’m not necessarily saying suggesting you jump in and meddle in someone’s life! People’s boundaries are critical and fragile, and they need to be respected.”

(…) We humans have gotten used to ignoring, overlooking, or flat-out denying the signal that says, “I’m in a bad place”, but it’s often in our faces. And there’s no hiding it.

So when you detect that signal, that’s your time to move.

(…) Don’t just go for the “is everything okay?” because that’s the megaphone problem again. It might just trigger them to redouble their emotional armor and retreat further into their lonely smallness.

Instead, try something like, “I’m here if you need me.” Nine times out of ten, they won’t actually take you up on the offer. Honestly, what they’re most likely to pick up on are just those two powerful first words: “I’m here”. Just that reminder, that they’re not alone, can make someone feel like they’re giant enough to the challenges ahead.” – Chapter “Look-Out-For-The-Little Guide”

1.TIME MATTERS

“(…) There is no time but the present! Everything you want to do, everyone you want to be, and everyone you want to be with—chase all that down today!

Don’t wait, because trust me, none of it will wait for you.” – Chapter “A Letter To My Daughter (That For Some Reason You People Are Also Reading)

2.SIZE MATTERS

“(…) We spend so much of our time operating in fear of other people—their judgment, their regard, their powerful emotions. But at the end of the day, they really don’t have the power to make or break us—no matter how they may act when we’re all the same size.

(…) Seeing the world at tiny scale makes a person truly appreciate all the tiny things—the things we too often overlook. It makes me mindful of the infinitude of miracles holding everything we care about together. It’s enough to make me truly grateful.

And trust me: Gratitude can give you more strength and energy than any power source in the galaxy.” – Chapter “A Letter To My Daughter (That For Some Reason You People Are Also Reading)”

3.SIZE DOESN’T MATTER

(…) Never let yourself get defined by anyone else’s notions of how “big” or “small” you are in their eyes. You alone decide your size, with or without a fancy red size-changing button.

And that also means you—and nobody else—are in charge of deciding when to make yourself “big” or “small” in any given situation. Be big when speaking up against an unfair boss, a disrespectful partner, and an unjust government or corporation.

And also: Be small enough to admit fault, as well as what you don’t know or need to learn.” – Chapter “A Letter To My Daughter (That For Some Reason You People Are Also Reading)”

“You never really know which moments of your life will turn out to be the best ones that mean the most. So you might as well embrace all of them!” – Chapter “Sizing It All Up”

“(…) we humans—all humans—have been given this very unique power to mentally liberate ourselves from our present moment. So what do we do with that? That’s the cool part. We’re all ultimately the authors of our own story. Of course I don’t mean we get to determine our own outcome. But we do get to decide something ultimately even more precious:

What every beat of our story means.” – Chapter “Sizing It All Up”

“You might say we all have an origin story, and that story is always being told.” – Chapter “Sizing It All Up”

“Now just to be clear, having our lives mean something isn’t the same as having it all make sense.

(…) Because what I’ve learned is, it’s not up to other people or forces to “make sense” for us. We have to make it ourselves.” – Chapter “Sizing It All Up”

[emimiiibakery]

Love at the Arcade

──★ ˙ ̟ Synopsis: Kantaro and Kenta are having a date at Akihabara and decide to go to the arcade.

──★ ˙ ̟ Pairing: Mikoshiba Kenta x Misuji Kantaro

──★ ˙ ̟ Genre: Fluff

──★ ˙ ̟ Word Count: 1,331 words

──★ ˙ ̟ A/N: I revived just so I can cross post a fic from my AO3 ? Yeah. Super busy with CETS, so I can’t really write anything huhu. Have fun reading this tho!!

The streets of Akihabara were bustling with people. So many different things to see condensed into one district of Japan. It’s an amazing sight to behold, but the two teens weren’t here to watch the crowd or sight see, no, they were here on a date.

It wasn’t Kenta and Kantaro’s first date, but the multi-colored hair boy couldn’t help but get excited as if it was their first time going out with each other. Everytime they decided to spend time with one another, a lovey dovey happy feeling would always bubble inside both of them. Although the shorter boy would always be more open about it while the taller one opted to keep it to himself.

The two lovers were having snacks at a cute cafe just a little bit off from the center of Akihabara, when suddenly an idea popped into the shorter boy's head. "Ken-chan! Let's take a pic! We look super adorbs!", Kantaro cheerfully said as he reached into his pocket to grab his phone. "You know I don't like taking pictures, right? You could take one of our food instead, it would practically be the same thing", Kenta said not interested in taking any photos whatsoever. "Awh c'mon! Just one! Please? Pretty please!", the shorter boy pleaded using his very best puppy eyes. All the taller boy could do was look away and focus on something else because he knew that he couldn't say no to his boyfriend's pleading eyes. "Tch, fine. Just one though", the green haired boy feigned annoyance. "Yehay! C'mon! Pose like this! And angle your head just a bit higher." the shorter boy said practically bouncing off his seat. Kenta could only snicker at his boyfriend's childish nature when it came to taking pictures.

After the two had finished their snacks and impromptu photoshoot for a single photo, they were off wandering the bustling streets. The lovers walked around hand in hand, not really knowing what to do next. Kantaro considered going to one of the malls located in the district, but they went shopping together not too long ago. As the two were walking the shorter boy suddenly stopped causing the taller one to look at his lover in confusion. "Ah! Ken-chan, I have no idea what to do for this date. Augh! I'm so mad I didn't come up with something before we went out! I'm a failure of a boyfriend!", the multi-color haired boy sighed in utter defeat. "Not really, we ate out didn't we? That's already a good date, but if you want to do something before we go home. Let's go to the arcade? We haven't been to one in a while", suggested the green haired boy to his significant other who's eyes practically sparkled at the idea. "You're right! Ken-chan you're the best! C'mon let's go!", Kantaro said, dragging his lover towards a nearby arcade.

The establishment was like any normal arcade but with the added aesthetic of colorful lighting that changed every few minutes. They had crane games, rhythm games and more scattered between the three floors of the building. The short boy looked around already thinking of the many ways he could use the arcade as his personal photo studio. Before anything could happen, he had to remind himself that his significant other hated taking pictures. Maybe, he could convince him, but he's already used his daily lifeline a while ago. Perishing the thought of taking any cute couple pictures he let out a depressed sigh. "What are you looking so sad for? Anyways, here don't go spending them all on one plushie because you think it's cute", Kenta said snickering as he handed his pouting boyfriend a handful of coins. "I won't! I have self control! Anyways, meet up after an hour?", Kantaro said, stuffing the coins in his pocket. "Sure, I'm gonna head up to the rhythm games. See you", the green haired hacker said as he walked up the stairs to where the other games were located.

"What to play? I'm not really good at arcade games", the multi-colored hair idol said to himself as he wandered the rows of different arcade machines. "Ah, a cute plushie! It looks just like me, but a bunny", Kantaro squealed at how cute the plush bunny was. Ignoring what his boyfriend said earlier he tried his hand at getting the plush. After a couple tries and a helping hand from the kind staff, he was now in possession of the stuffed bunny. "Are there one's that look like Ken-chan? We could get matching ones! That would be so cute!!", he giggled to himself as he skipped through the aisles trying to find a plushie that looked like his boyfriend.

After a few minutes, he found a cat plushie that had the same smirk that Kenta usually wore. "It's. perfect.", Kantaro said as he eyed the stuffed animal. He had his eyes set on that cat plush and he won't be leaving the arcade without it. He kept trying and trying but to no avail, even after the staff helped him. It's almost like it doesn't want to come home to him! How rude! "Hey, didn't I say not to spend all your coins on a plushie?", a familiar voice spoke. "Ah! Kenta, you're back so soon! Well, in my defense it's my second plushie, so!" the shorter boy argued with an innocent smile. "I was looking for you because all the games here are for normies and noobs", the taller boy shrugged. "Anyways, you want this little guy, but you suck at crane games? Lmao '', Kenta said as he leaned on his significant other's back. "I'm not bad! It's just that this cat plushie is so stubborn like you, hmph!" the multi-colored hair boy whined and puffed out his cheeks. "Then, I'll do it. I'll get him for you because you look like you'll cry if you don't get him lmfao", the green haired boy said as he took his lover's place in front of the claw machine.

"WAH! YOU GOT HIM! Thankies!" Kantaro yelled as he held up the cat plush like you would a child. "Here Ken-chan! I was getting him for you! So now we have matching plushies! Adorbs!!", the shorter boy smiled as he handed the stuffed toy cat to his lover and pulled out his own bunny plushie. "Uh huh, yeah thanks. I guess I can see the resemblance", the tall hacker said as he held up the plush. "Ken-chan, face it towards me! I'm gonna do something", the multi-colored hair idol said with a grin. "Okay, but why?", Kenta asked, but still did what his partner told him. "Because! Chuu!!!", Kantaro said as he pushed his bunny plush towards Kenta's cat plush making it look like they kissed. The tall green haired boy could only turn red at his lover's actions. "Hehe we basically kissed!", the short idol said as he repeated the action once more before he got stopped by his boyfriend. Without warning Kenta kissed Kantaro's lips in a chaste kiss. "Ehh?!?", was all the idol could say. "Wouldn't you rather have actual kisses?", Kenta said as his face turned a hue of red reminiscent of a cherry. "You, you! You're so cute! If you wanted kisses you could have said so!", Kantaro said, returning to his cheerful attitude. "It's- it's embarrassing! So get off my case would ya?!?", the young hacker said covering his face from his teasing lover

As the two walked home, the young idol kept teasing his boyfriend about how cute and innocent he is under all that rudeness he shows online. "This date was a success! Not only did we get matching plushies, but I got to see Ken-chan's cute side too!", Kantaro said giggling as he squished the bunny plushie he held in his hand. "Would you let that go already?", Kenta said clearly annoyed at the teasing. At least the date went well, at the expense of Kenta's pride.