#I dont own the rights to this music!

[girlboygilliontidestrider]

“I think.

my friends, caspian, Karlach and Laezel, i love them dearly. i enjoy practicing music, yet the shame weighs on my shoulders, do i enjoy being out in land rather than following my own crafted destiny? is it my right to wish i wasn’t chosen? No, it is not, I smite these ideologies, I pray to be forgiven though i am not even sure I am being heard. “

[icewindandboringhorror]

I've referenced before how I have a big google document to keep track of every media I've ever seen in my entire life (just for reference because I like to track everything possible lol… I am the Data Collector), but recently as I was updating it, I thought of actually evaluating them to find out random percentages (like for example, out of Total Shows Watched, what percentage did I finish vs. stop watching, what percentage did I like or dislike, etc.)...

Evaluating these things is made easier by the fact that I already place everything on each subsection of the list into 6 broad ranking categories, so I don't have to go back and guess to figure out how I feel about them or anything. The categories are: Ranking 5 - overall best* (despite some criticisms of course because I'm too much of an Analyzer to ever find anything Perfect lol) Ranking 4 - more positive than neutral, but not good enough to be 5 Ranking 3 - either the good + bad negate each other, OR it's just not memorable/interesting in any way enough to be ranked higher or lower (this is the Default category ALL things are placed in if no other rank applies) Ranking 2 - maybe a few redeemable elements but largely more negatives than positives Ranking 1 - So bad that it circles around to being fascinating to observe in some way (not necessarily Funny, or Good, but just interesting somehow) Ranking 0 - Bad in a genuinely frustrating or obnoxious manner

*("best" primarily defined here as most interesting, rather than most good in a technical sense, or some other measure. I tend to value more highly whether there's something novel or thoughtful about the worldbuilding, tone, writing, base premise, etc - than about whether it's actually executed perfectly.)

And here's the amount of shows that have so far been placed into each category -

TV shows ~ Rank 5 (highest) - 20 shows ~ Rank 4 (mid-high) - 28 shows ~ Rank 3 (neutral/default/meh) - 114 shows ~ Rank 2 (mid low) -33 shows ~ Rank 1 (low low but intriguingly so) - 14 shows ~ Rank 0 (iredeemably low) - 2 shows

This would make for a total of 211 TV shows overall. However, there are 57 shows within these list marked as "didn't finish" (typically meaning I quit on the very first or second episode - but log them still to keep a record that I at least had a brief view of them).

So my total of genuinely fully watched shows would be more 154. 211 Total, but a More Accurate Total of 154.

Counting them all and using the Total Number Of The List (211) -- that means roughly 9.5% of all total shows I have ever watched (or at least attempted to watch) have been Mostly Good, 13% have been Moderately Okay, 54% have been either entirely Forgettable or some mix of good + bad that lands them right in the Neutral Middle, 15.6% have been Mostly Bad, 6.6% have been Bad (but in an interesting way), and 0.9% have been Terribly Bad.

Additionally, I didn't even get past the first two episodes of about 27% of the total.

Sooo, discounting ones I didn't finish, my total TV shows ever watched in my life would be about 154 (maybe give or take a few, assuming I might have forgotten some from very long ago).

But instead of entire life, let's just say this is the total for 'About 20 Years' (so, not counting very early childhood when I likely wouldn't remember things I saw/have no detailed recollection of them (like for example, I'm sure at some point when I was like 4yrs old I must have seen an episode of Spongebob or something, but I have zero distinct memories of it, can't quote anything of it, and barely recall the premise - so I don't count it on the list, etc.)).

In that case, 154 divided by 20 would be roughly 7.7 shows a year.

Which is actually surprisingly low considering that I often have stuff on in the background for hours whilst I make sculptures and do costumes and stuff (maybe I should have also marked some distinction between 'things I fully paid attention to' and 'things I kind of half listened to whilst sculpting', but that would further split the categories too much probably lol), but I guess a lot of that is youtube videos or random documentaries, so .. eh.. maybe I get it being lower.

Now, doing the same thing for movies-

Movies ~ Rank 5 (highest) - 4 movies (3.4% of total) ~ Rank 4 (mid-high) - 12 movies (10.3% of total) ~ Rank 3 (neutral/default/meh) - 91 movies (78.4% of total) ~ Rank 2 (mid low) - 8 movies (6.8% of total) ~ Rank 1 (low but interesting) - 1 movie (0.8% of total) ~ Rank 0 (irredeemably low) - none in this category (0%)

That makes 116 for a Total (Actually Remembered) Movies Watched In Lifetime (Or At Least In 20 Years).

116 divided by 20 is roughly 5 or 6 movies a year (I feel this has probably been skewed though by adding everything since like elementary school onwards, as I remember a lot more movies from child/teen years.. Whereas, the past 3 years I feel like I've barely seen maybe even 5 movies?? lol). I also have "Didn't Finish" marked on 18 of them. Which means I quit halfway through about 15% of the total movies.

So, a for broader summary stuff..

I seem to be less forgiving to movies than tv shows, by far. Which makes sense to me, I guess, because I love elaboration and details, so "short form" things that only last an hour or two are often lost on me a bit. My biggest complaint with movies is indeed usually walking away just wishing there had been more exposition, more scenes where characters are doing nothing, more "mindless bantering" conversations, more Quiet Downtime and Lore Elaboration and so on lol, so... of course most 1-2hr films end up feeling a bit Not Enough To Draw My Interest/Nothingy to me.

If you count 5 and 4 as "like" and rankings 2 to 0 as "dislike", then for TV shows I at least somewhat liked 48 of them, and at least somewhat disliked 47 of them.. So it's almost exactly the same lol. I'm just about equally as likely to find something bad as I am to find something redeeming about it. But overall, the largest chance is that I just won't really care much for it at all and it will be tossed into the 'neutral' pile, forgotten forever. Movies have a bit better of a balance, "liking" 16 of them, and "disliking" only 9 of them. So I'm slightly more likely to enjoy a movie than to find it annoying - though still VASTLY more likely to just not find it anything in particular, possibly not even finishing it.

ANYWAY.. this is vague and literally pointless, but like I said, I just really find information fun. Like my document where I've rated every apple flavor I've ever tried (like 40 of them now?), or reviewed every oreo flavor (32?), or ranking data from my entire 10 years of Trying To Make Friends process (out of 100 people, roughly 8% chance of a moderate compatibility, 3% chance of high), or etc. etc.. I love to have random pointless things to analyze I suppose lol.

I doubt anyone tracks things in their life in this same exact way, but I'd be interested in hearing any at least somewhat similar data !!! (like, how many TV shows you watch a year on average, and what percentage of those you like vs. dislike (if you keep track of that sort of thing), etc.)). I guess it might be easier with movies, since I think some people use those websites where you curate a list of movies you've seen and you can rate them or something, so maybe the numbers are already available on those places. :0

[dragon-subway]

so my present for christmas this year was a pc (my first one ever!!!!!), specifcally going half an half on the payments and its running super well, just has some bits like bluetooth n wifi that need to be handled externally (wifi works semi ok bc it has the driver but not the usb it needs to properly work) since its refurbished from a super old model (they stopped in either 2013 or 2017 i dont remember off the top of my head) BUT the main reason i got this was so i could do stuff like blender and drawing and animation on it with less worries about space and functionality (blender makes my laptop flicker after a while for example) so really really looking forward to starting on things

[sunkissedliterarylightofchrist]

sorry not sorry but its twisted that people take Christian media and try to twist it around to fit and affirm their gender ideology

[slutpoppers]

Visuals from Slot Pop Miami by Kim Petras

(part 1/2)

slot pop reprise

gig on it

Effin this effin that

Banana boat

Get Funked'

Rom Job

[privateerstudies]

.

[puppppppppy]

what if i snapped and made an oc carrd

[bellshazes]

bdubs' delayed realization and anguish at outliving cleo in 3L + bdubs "now it feels like home" when cleo shows up at the beginning of last life + cleo "i trust you because bdubs trusted you" in later last life + cleo being bequeathed the monolith if bdubs doesn't come back from his mysterious building adventure in hcs9 + bdubs saying 3L was his favorite season because of teaming with cleo + cleo the witch of time's crastle summoning in wcsmp + "i know we're divorced bdubs, but" from cleo in double life + nonrecording bdubs offering to do grindy tasks for the clockers & fighting for cleo's favor in it.

i think abt all this a lot even though i don't feel as compelled to make fanworks about it because the most gutpunching thing is that cleo moves on but still remembers, and bdubs is still obsessed with the same other things but is still fond and echoes their first team up. so how could i improve upon that. but oh my god it's there are we all seeing this

[plan-3-tmars]

something that I noticed while listening to the T2 instrumentals is that the instruments in cat are alot more dependant on the vocals

and I kind of just shrugged it off as a cool detail but then I remembered,, whats a lyric that shows up repeatedly in cat?

"lie, until it gets better, follow the king of the masquerade"

the instruments in cat are leaving kazui room to speak and then mimicking what he says, they're FOLLOWING HIM!!! BECAUSE HE'STHE KING OF THE MASQUERADE!!!!

[onlyfangz]

why are all of my based on your likes! posts speculating about famous lesbians not really being lesbians? i checked my likes, theres nothing in there. you all need to stop being fucking weird about lesbians tho. especially lesbians who have dated/fucked men in the past. you look like a toddler with your gold stars.

[icantalk710]

🤔

[margueritestjusts]

tbh the musical does one of the worst jobs adapting marguerite's character and i think that's because wildhorn and knighton misunderstood the purpose of marguerite's character and her motivations. there's a lot of internal emotional angst that she has (which gets neglected when the focus is shifted on percy imo lmao) but there are ways to balance them out, as seen in tsp '34.

i think this fault with the musical is shown the most is in the fact st. cyr barely gets any coverage? besides like. the opening number, the wedding, and the one off mention in the garden scene, when that is basically one of the most important aspects of her character in the novel. it's the source of her guilt and the cause of the estrangement, and also taking away armand's part in the st. cyr thing. him being beaten almost to death is the whole reason why margot denounces st. cyr and he ends up getting executed. in the musical it seems like she's done it for no reason (which, i mean... understandable from percy's pov) but then in the footbridge scene she doesn't give ANY explanation besides "chauvelin made me do it" and instead the main conflict is "will my husband slutshame me because i slept with another guy before i married him?" ??????????!?!?!?!?!?!?

i know that it would be a valid worry in this time period, but frank wildhorn HIMSELF said he doesn't want to write a 1905 story. so WHY would you make the fear of being slutshamed a main component of marguerite's character—and have chauvelin slutshame her in the process ("what would your husband think if he knew what sort of woman you are?")—when that wasn't in the novel????? it's just extremely distasteful and gross imo.

[pastellmochi]

non paralive moots im begging yuo listen to my wife singing

[mishy-mashy]

*COUGH*

The Resistance has PTSD of AFO using Cynthia's piano theme

*COUGH*

[welcometoteyvat]

society moved on too quickly from furina's demo

[loverboybrightsideghost]

it's always good to have a break. i don't know how non-music college compares, but music school is A Lot Of Work, constantly practicing, rehearsing, playing. lots of homework. there's also the mental and emotional aspect; being an artist you need to separate your art from your sense of self and self worth, and it's pretty difficult sometimes. not to mention, it is a competitive field, so there's always wondering about how you measure up to others, auditioning, if you'll even get the job or into the festival or whatever.

the past two semesters have been rough for me, even though i had a great summer in between, it was a lot of change (not just bc of first/second year of school) in a short amount of time and a lot of that change was bc i wanted it and it was on my shoulders to work to practice to prove i can do it. and i did! i can! i still have a long way to go, but i can do it. i often think or worry i don't deserve to be here, but it's reassuring to know that 1) lots of other people, even people i look up, feel that way too and 2) i AM here, so enough people who know what they're doing think i can do it, and who am i to argue?

however, to my original point, it is good to have a break. i love music, and i would not be doing this if i didn't. but i think i really burned myself out this semester, and as soon as i was on break, i stopped practicing at all for like a week and a half, and then after that i practiced only a bit at the end of the day just to play my instrument.

what i've been doing instead is sleeping in a lot, watching a lot of tv and reading lots of comics, and also just Reading and listening to music. i've also been drawing a lot.

it's good to take a break. i am a musician, and always will be, but i am also a person who likes to sleep and eat and who is obsessed with superman and likes hanging out with my friends.