#I dont have to know his work to appreciate all you stellar beings

[thebisexualwreckoning]

If anyone ever wonders about what im like in real life just know that instead of studying for my math exam I am reading Ophelia/Juliet fanfiction despite the fact I've read Romeo and Juliet all of once in my entire life and have never even touched a copy of Hamlet

[where-does-the-heart-lie]

GOD chapter 59 was SO GOOD n i have a lot to say so sending an ask instead of leaving it on the post.

i /love/ when you make things hyper detailed, because your shading techniques are so much fun to sit n stare at and soak in for a while. that being said, the coloring of the wine spilling is what does it for me this time. it still would have been really cool in bw, but not as cool as seeing all the shades of red over the dark blue bg. you did the glass really well too!! I don't think there's a noticeable difference between the wine color inside and outside the glass which is fine bc it's clear, so it RLY makes me appreciate the lighting you have around the glass rim to show the edge in contrast. that tiny little detail makes the image for me. stellar work. i love it

also i do wanna throw in appreciation for the handwritten serif. super well done at first glance it did look like you'd jus typed it out. idk what texture you have on the brush you use for words but it's rly nice to look at up close.

i think the color kinda tipped me off but i waffled bc i couldn't remember if either of his parents spoke in serif font and was a bit daunted to dig thru 50+ chapters to confirm who it was if it didn't turn out to be them. i'm glad i looked at your tags tho haha saved me the trouble. what a way to end the act too!! i read this one on my phone and was scrolling thru the images at full size and after four or so i kept expecting it to cut off. it was a very pleasant surprise to have it keep going, worth the wait to have a longer chapter :)

maybe it jus wasn't meant to be a la sabo getting the letter from sally. it might have to be stelly after all tho there are things that come before then. what a bad time to have one or both of his parents speak to him for the first time that night. oof can't wait for the next act lets goooo

Oh wowww what a beautifully long review!

Thanks so much im glad you like how it turned out, i’m really happy with it, too! Ive never drawn fluids like this before, but i really needed this page to have that extra kick because it was such a short one.

Because i couldnt figure out how to make this moment look slow mo with multiple different panels on one page, I really wanted to make a piece that is like,, frozen in time instead.

A page like this, you can keep on it as long as you’d like. You can make it as slow mo as you want it to be.

The serif lettering is that of outlook’s!

I dont know if you can see the difference between this and my usual handwriting, but it’s supposed to look taller. Higher up. Neater. Cleaner. (Still my handwriting though so like so actually neat or clean, but you know like,,, in comparison to the norm.)

His dad only talks in one scene, and his mother has never said anything yet, so i dont blame you if you couldnt find it. In my. Large repertoire of chapters ive accumulated.

I definitely felt the same about the pages when drawing them. But probably the opposite feeling lol. Mine was more like “ugh i forgot theres so many. How many more of these do I have to get through??? How did i do this the first act ending with 11 pages???”

Im so glad you guys are on the edge of your seats with the letter :)

Thanks for the ask!

[megumimania]

AOT LONDON BOY HCS PT 2

featuring: reiner, onyankopon, armin

a/n: this is part two of these hcs, part one is here! thanks for tuning in its kinda rushed my bad 😪, likes and reblogs are greatly appreciated!

ARMIN

-armin would be from islington or finchley maybe even south, but I don’t see him living in like bougie areas such as kensington or chelsea or like richmond

- him and eren went to the same primary and secondary together

-armin was literally his get out of jail free card because of his stellar reputation in academics

-he always gets free stuff from the corner shop or the chicken and chip shop

-doesn’t own a car, he either bikes or takes the tube because he cares about the environment and doesn’t want to add onto the extra pollution in london

-his dress sense is very casual like a t shirt, a pair of loose fitted trousers and some trainers but when he cant be bothered he’ll wear a tech fleece

-he has a very good sense of direction, like he knows the fastest routes for anything, like when eren and connie dragged him to carni (if you went this year im saur jealous 😩 but anyways) and it was time to get home armin found a quicker route that got them back pretty fast

-knows all the best secret spots in london for anything! which makes hanging out with him more fun because you experience a new part of london when you’re together

-he isnt a fan of eren’s scamming ways but when eren asks for help he always answers as long as he’s not a part of it

-london men i feel like are terrible with their feelings but armin is the exception, he would be very open with you about his feelings and such

-reads so much, you’ll catch him at hyde park or greenwich park reading till the sun sets

-he smokes cigarettes but he’s trying to cut it out for you

-his playlist would be very diverse since he’s been brought up in a multicultural area, like it would go from bashment, to rnb, drill to pop

-unlike his unserious counterparts *cough cough* eren and connie, he’s very loyal!

ONYANKOPON

-my ghanaian king, shoutout to my ghanaians!!

-he speaks twi so well that people forget he was brought up in the uk

-he would be from peckham or lewisham for suree, he’s deffo been dragged around by his mum round rye lane market on a saturday morning carrying that trolley with him

-he goes to a pentecostal church, he’s always leading youth service and helping out at church events.

-the aunties love him for this because he’s the perfect son that they don’t have and they just love him in general

-ony can cook and im being for real, so you guys never eat out unless ony wants to show you to a new niche restaurant somewhere

-he has snap but doesn’t have a bitmoji because he thinks it’s immature 😕 but eventually he caves and makes one because you ask him too

-hes always promoting his boys stuff whether that be music,

-he deffo went to an all boys secondary and then he went to a mixed sixth form after, he gives me those vibes

-he used to go to the library to link girls after school 😭 he had a big playboy phase but hes calmed down

-he used to be one of those people at stratford westfield trying to sell you magazines before you enter

-hes not stingy with his money, hes always spoiling the people he loves

-he has a bunch of caps and grills that he likes to rotate out weekly, he has great style

-he works in corporate london so its rare that you dont see him outside of a suit and tie but he always makes time for you

-ony is always holding your bag for dear life when you go to bait areas like oxford street or westfields or like the tourist spots because people be getting their shit stolen loool

-he loves late night tesco trips anything that he can do at night i.e late night walks, drives etc

-bossman is always giving him discounts on stuff because ony is loyal customer.

REINER

-look at that man and tell me he wouldnt be from essex tell me!! like thats pure dagenham material right there

-if you search up a typical person from essex, he would come up

-he probably owns those skintight chinos with those ugly polos with the church shoes

-he tries to downplay his accent a bit since sometimes its hard to understand him but when hes upset his accent comes through in full force

-always at spoons or at the club till early hours

-reiner gives me bricklayer vibes so thats what im gonna roll with

-when he comes home from work in summer hes like hot and sweaty but it makes his biceps glow so its kinda sexy idk

-has a bunch of tattoos, most of them are birthdays of family members and a picture of his grandma who passed away

-has a british bulldog called belle, the dog is fucking scary but reiner thinks the world of her and thinks she can do no wrong

-listens to mainly dnb, garage, techno

-downs pints at the pub like it’s nothing, he has a high alcohol tolerance

-proper geezer that’s all i have to say tbh!

[legacyshenanigans]

Hello Again! I hope you’re doing well!😊

I just had a rather interesting idea,

So recently I have gotten into this Anime called “The Duke of Death and His Maid”, I’m not sure if you’ve seen or heard of it, but basically the main character is cursed so anything he touches will die and (obviously) he falls in love with his maid and cannot touch her in fear of accidentally killing her dispite how badly he wants her.

So it got me think, what if Marvolo or Rowan endured the same thing, cursed with death’s touch yet wanting to touch and love the MC more than anything?

How would it work? You obvi don’t have to but I thought it would be hella interesting,

Thank you again and keep up the Stellar work B, you’re the absolute best!✨❤️

Hey! I'm OK thank you, hope you are too.

I'm not aware of it, but I ADORE that idea! I hope you don't mind but I can totally see this more for just Marvolo and MC, so I'll do it about him, im in a sweet mood with this though for some reason💚

(Also, thank you so much, I appreciate that 🥹❤️)

Marvolo, with Deaths Touch🐍🖤

(If Marvolo suffered something like this but found himself falling for MC, it was crush him and irritate him. He would constantly be wanting to feel her skin on his own, to feel her hand in his. it's all he would long for. He would still talk to her, get to know her. She would perhaps think he just wasn't "that kind" of guy and didn't want to overstep any boundaries, but she would want him just as much)

●●●●●●●●●●●●●●●●●●●●●●●●●●●●●●

Marvolo: *Sat in front of the fireplace at Gaunt Manor*

MC: *walking into the living room* Hello *smiles*

Marvolo: *looks over at her and gives her a small grin* Hello, you..

She approached him, sitting in the seat next to him, she could sense him tensing up. The pair chatted for a while, he told her sweet things, how she made him feel over these past couple of months she'd been at the Manor. They'd spent a lot of time together, just being in each others company. MC took the opportunity to reach out her hand to touch him, making him move away from her and stand, he sighed.

Marvolo: I..I'm sorry.

MC: *concerned* No no, I'm sorry, I thought you wouldn't mind..

Marvolo: I want nothing more, truly. But..*sigh* I can't..If I were to touch you, or if you were to touch me, you would perish, and I can't have that..

MC: W-What? What do you mean?

Marvolo: I have deaths touch.. A curse *frowns slighlty, irritated by this curse* You have no idea how much I wish to hold you, feel you. But we can't. I need you here with me, though it pains me deeply to have to exist with you in a world where I cannot feel your touch.

He approaches her, dangerously close, but not touching, her breathing hitches, wanting to grab him but she now knows she can't, and will never be able to.

Marvolo: I can feel your warmth. It's torture to not hold you...Its all I want.

MC: I want it too, like nothing else. But I adore you enough that it doesn't matter. *small smile*

Marvolo: (???)

MC: I would still be with you..If you let me? We may not be able to touch, but as long as I still get to see your face, talk to you, love you..Then I dont mind if you don't.

Marvolos gave her an endearing smile. Feeling a warmth run through him at her words. He looked down into her eye's.

Marvolo: That would mean the world to me.

The months would turn to years, the two of them just being together, loving each other without touch, it was hard at times. But they found ways around it when it came to intimacy. Touching themselves while across from each other, whispered words of want and desire, making the experience all the more intense for them. Though they always longed for each other's touch.

The day would come when they would grow old. He would wait for her to be ready, and once she was, he would finally be able to embrace and kiss her.

For the first and last time..

~

[cutekittenlady]

Tumblr Plays Pokemon White 2 - Part 7

Oh. ohhhh god. Oh it stinks.

Ew. Ew. Ew.

Screw you Hugh. Its a sewer. We'll be lucky if we dont see a dead Patrat getting eaten by a Rattata or a wild Krookidile jumping out at us after getting flushed.

Thats a thing right? Krookidile in the sewers?

Look man I only have a few potions and pokeballs. Are you sure we're ready for this?

Well if you think you have enough healing potions and stuff to heal both our pokemon then I guess its okay. But I'm warning you, if I see even one rage candy bar floating in that water...

Huh... so its true what they say about death, taxes, and Zubat.

Look Hugh I know we're hunting for Plasma but just let me catch a couple of these guys for the dex. I really dont wanna have to come down here again for the entries.

Thanks to fighting through the horde of zubat. Molly learned flame wheel. That'll come in handy.

I manage to catch a Zubat I dont intend to use, but catching a rattata proved shockingly difficult cause everytime one popped out Hughs pignite slaughtered it. Guess Bentley wasn't the only starter with a dark bone in his body. Eventually did manage to catch one though. Ugh Juniper had better appreciate all this work I'm doing.

There are supposed to be grimer down there to but... no. Just... just no.

As we're going along Hugh does apologize for getting me mixed up in this whole mess, so I opt to forgive him for being so gungho about this. He is trying after all...

Huh...well that was both shockingly quick and excrutiatingly long.

Okay Hugh they haven't noticed us yet. If we stay far enough back and listen in maybe we can find out where the rest-

Dammit Hugh!

Yeah your just good Semaritins cleaning up the sewer. In front of a really suspicious hole. In matching uniforms.

Come on man.

Over my dead body.

Bentley show them the meaning of words "Your ass is grass."

Hugh and I face of against the Plasma grunts. Its my Bentley and Hughs Pignite versus their sandile and scraggy. I opt to have Bentley use Leaf Tornado on the Sandile. PIgnite hits Sandile with a flame charge before i can though, taking it out.

Dang Hugh you've been leveling these guys up! Bentley used Leafe tornado on the Scraggy instead. It doesnt do nearly as much damage, but it lands. I opt to back Hugh up by having Bentley use wrap on the Scraggy. Trapping it and letting Pignite land a solid blow.

Maybe it was seeing how much Pignites grown, maybe it was just that this last battle was the last push he needed, or maybe the stinky sewer air activated something in his genetics, but once the battle was over...

Bentley evolved into Servine!

Heck yeah we are!

After that the plasma grunts take off. These guys sure like running away. Hugh wants to go farther in, but just as i was about to dissuade him (theres only two of us, we have no idea how many more there might be, we only have a limited number of healing items) someone else beats me to it.

And just like who should pop out but Gym leader Burgh!

Evidently Burgh had already gone through the furtherest parts of the sewer looking for team plasma but found no one. After making a stellar pun, Hugh brings up about how Burgh and the other gym leaders fought against Team Plasma two years ago.

Hugh then gives me the HM for Strength and takes off.

I think Burgh made him feel a little... inadequete. Just when burgh and I were about to follow some other weirdo pops out of the hole in the wall.

He says some gibberish about how interesting out battle with plasma was and then just... walks off.

I haven't the foggiest idea Burgh.

After that Burgh takes off. I could follow after him and beat his gym but... well after seeing how strong Pignite i think it might be best if I tried training in the sewers awhile.

But right now I need air. THeres a stair well across the way. Maybe it leads up to the street.

Wow its... A little park?

Maybe I'll jusst chill here a bit and sip some lemonade before going back down into the stinky sewer.

((Going ahead and posting this. Eevee won the catching poll for this area and finding one is going to take... awhile.))

[bonesandthebees]

hi sorry just speaking up on account of fun personal knowledge regarding the ask sayinng ypu should get a typewriter and your tags on said post . my personal favorite beginner level typewriters are smith-coronas, theyre user-friendly and relatively easy to maintain in my eyes. id honestly recommend looking for an electric rather than a manual for your first typewriter - its very different from writing on a modern day computer keyboard, and electrics do a relatively good job of easing you in . the keyboards are more similar to your blocky, 90s-tech keyboards you see out in the wild . my first electric was a smith-corona coronet super12 and honestly its one of the best typewriters i own; the quality is stellar, shes comfortable with me, she actually Likes Being Typed on .

manual typewriters are beasts. theyre often angry if you are not the owner theyve always known (speaking of this - a good place to look for typewriters are estate sales . usually you're lookjng at 20-50usd for a functional typewriter at an estate sale, compared to 100+ at an antique shop or online). but yes manual typewriters are angry creatures . they fight you on everything. my first manual was a hermes3000 in a light powder blue and honestly this typewriter does not like me i think. most typewriters you find out in the wild are going to need a little work - new ribbon, a nice deep clean - but will be relatively functional (esp, again, at estate sales. ppl dont usually keep broken shit). manuals are fussy and will probably want a little more out of you . my hermes needs a full realignment and more than a few of the keys stick . not optimal for your first typewriter .

most importantly - and something they dont tell you when you first start using typewriters, cough - manuals take A LOT OF FORCE TO PRESS THE KEYS. more than you are expecting. it is not like your hp or your mac or dell or alienware or whatever - you have to WORK to type on a manual. i was typing with just my index fingers for the first few months i owned my hermes because i physically couldn't 1) get a feel for the keyboard and 2) press down on the keys comfortably with my other fingers. it hurt after a little while .

that being said, owning a manual is an extremely fun little knickknack to show off. double points if its functional and you actually put it to some use . typewriters are one of those things that get better the more you use them ; you kind of have to break them in, and more use means theyre easier to work with. electrics are similar but are often more forgiving . all this to say that a manual is worth it if youre willing to make the commitment. theyre fun to use . make you feel like a 1940s office worker .

as far as actually writing goes, all manuals and early electrics are not going to have any sort of backspace functionality. honestly i think its rlly helped with being deliberate about what words im using. you can get correction tape (obviously) but it feels a little bit different . i think it helps with just getting ideas onto paper concisely .

no matter what kind of typewriter you get (if any at all) the most important thing is going to be the user manual, whether you actually have the original paper copy or a scanned version youve found online. understanding your typewriter is like reading a recipe. its important to know what each button does and how to use it . if you grew up learning typing on a computer you do not know how to use a typewriter ; youll be able to type but probably not much more . instructions are your best friend . your typewriter is an animal .

typewriters need a little more love in the world . i highly recommend looking around at garage sales, estate sales, thrift stores if youre interested in owning or using one, theyre honestly such an efficient and modernly-under-appreciated piece of technology that really revolutionized the world . thanks for allowing me to ramble i hope this isnt too unwanted

oh this is so informational thank you!! I know next to nothing about typewriters except what they look like and that they make the nice clicky noises. I don't know if I'll ever get one, but if I do it's not gonna be for a few years just because money + I'd wanna set that up and have a nice space for it once I'm living in my own place, and atm I'm still in the 'post college graduate living with parents' phase of my life.

that's really good to know about electric vs manual typewriters though!! I'd probably get an electric for my first one because I rely so heavily on my typing speed. typing stuff on my laptop is muscle memory at this point so I'd be very annoyed if my typing was super heavily impaired on a typewriter. I do know the manual ones take a lot more effort to push down. I've encountered them at antique stores before and have tried to type a tiny bit and it's definitely a challenge

this wasn't unwanted at all it was super helpful!! I love the way you talk about typewriters too. I can definitely imagine that manual ones are like beasts you have to figure out how to work with lol. I'm gonna be saving this as a reference note for if I eventually start looking into getting one for myself

[the-kneesbees]

this is the 1st half of my thoughts, i'm working my way through the back half now-

Tulsa '67 - wasn't expecting Ponyboy's voice to be so freaking strong, I like the softness to the background music, feels very floaty and story telling, gets very upbeat and jazzy sometimes, I kinda dig it, JOHNNY MY LORD, the ending was sooooooo good

Grease Got A Hold - why was the intro kinda sexy- I feel like Dallas would never ever do this, but I appreciate the voice he's got, the acronym and rapping??? hello????? okay cool kids- STOP AND SMELL THE MOTOR OIL, two is as always my baby boy, i feel like i'm being hunted down by a grease monster

Runs in the Family - ohhhhh the darry feels, loveeeee the beat on this one, very eldest child syndrome, i feel like i will definitely be learning the words and singing along to this one in the future, his voice is so damn smooth I just wanna sit on a wooden box and snap along to the tune

Great Expectations - the FEELS at the beginning, i'm very sad, ponyboy always assumes he's the main character and yet i will listen to whatever he sings because i'm floored by their voices, i like how it builds up at the end, it's very dramatic, very very very breaking the fourth wall vibes

Friday at the Drive-In - HOLY SHIT WE'RE GETTING INTO IT NOW, i was soooo into the beginning and it's very very vibey, great way to set the scene, I can practically see the whole set up in my mind

I Could Talk to You All Night - hate the love song vibe. hate it. cherry has a stellar voice (they all do) but i don't like the way i can feel the crush-y vibes bleeding from the song. maybe this dislike comes mainly from my dislike of cherry. who knows.

Runs In The Family (Reprise) - damnnnnn the beat at the beginning. down on my knees once more for darry's voice. am sat. love the banter between sodapop and dare, love that the whole song is darry snapping back. in love. one of my favorites, hands down easily, love the way the beat gets stronger as they fight and fight and fight. THE SLAP.

Far Away From Tulsa - once again, we are main character moment-ing but his voice is so damn silky i don't even mind. very floaty, i like how mellow it is. johnny sounds very kid-like here, but this feels odd to me, the whole song feels odd, and we of course bring back dickens, much drama. many feels.

Run Run Brother - oh my god- oh my god- this really makes pony's voice shines, i love the desperation, the quick pace would probably make it a nightmare, but i love the pacing, in LOVE with the way it brings in the other songs, the vibe is very rushed and spooky and swirling and overwhelmed and i dig it

WOOO

Tulsa '67- I KNOWWW his voice is so beautiful NOT what i was expecting for some reason - very good opening song

Grease Got a Hold- I def agree that dally wouldnt act like this- i feel like hes quite different in the musical than in the book and movie, but its not necessarily a BAD thing, and plus we all have different interpretations of the character etc etc. i do really love the actor though hes got a nice voice. ALSO about the acronym thing youre so real for that i love it so much. two is also a real cutie <3

Runs in the Family- I LOVE HIS VOICE SO FREAKING MUCH STOP- literally every word he sings is like holy gospel to me i dont even care im so okay with being entirely annoying about it. i also fully agree w you as an eldest child myself- felt this one in my soul fr

Great Expectations - real good song but not my fav actually? i do love the part where he talks about everyone else too yk. i do really appreciate he emotion the actor puts into it though i mean he really has me hanging on every word

I Could Talk to You All Night - yeah definitely a bit too lovey dovey- i do like it as a song though yk? like its a good song on its own. and i also thought it was a bit weird how cherry spoke to pony? like the whole 'i never thoight i see hope in your eyes' and the thing about assuming he didnt read? that was really strange to me and definitely NOT how i interpret cherrys character (love her sm though) and i totally agree they all have phenominal voices theyre a really amazing and talented group of actors/singers/whatever

Runs In The Family (Reprise)- literally just exactly what you said- this is probably my favorite in the whole album, and the slap is SO FUCKING FUNNY for some reason lmao

Far Away From Tulsa - yeah this one definitely captures pony in that scene- he was being kind of a drama queen in that bit where he was crying to johnny lol but we still love him. ALSO i dont even really ship pony and johnny (like ig i kind of do but its not something i really care about much) but WHAT were those boys on about in this one. with their feather bed and shit oml-

Run Run Brother - once again, you said my words exactly- this song is PERFECT for what its about and their VOICES ohmyGOD

[bananapuddingwithwhip]

ive got a cashier job cause the current IT job market can fuck right off and today this tall ass man who was probably thrice my age was trying to tell me about how horrible and awful it was working as a cashier thirty odd years ago in his crappy hometown. cause, like, people did drugs and shit

and he keeps going on and on about how scared id be cause 'kids nowadays' or something

he'd say things about how he'd bring in some self defence baton and how i (tiny ass bitch with tits) would be so scared, meanwhile i have a knife stuffed in my bag cause what closing/night shift person doesnt have a self defence thing

he kept going on and on and i had to stand there awkwardly cause ive encountered some less then stellar people before and i was pretty sure this big dude wouldnt believe me

some mf kept trying to take me places whenever he saw me outside at collage and some other fucks were staring in my dorm window at all hours of the night trying to see some skin and even went as far as to follow me when i left the building with a laser pointer, i started eating dinner way early and made a large sign telling them to fuck off and hung it up on the day of a collage wide sporting event. they fucked off

but no id be 'so scared' by the sight of drug addicts, like a number of my coworkers dont chain smoke all day while im on a register next to the part of the store that sells all of the addictive substances

some bitch complains at me at least once a week that her beer is supposed to be on sale while her kids scream in the background about hell knows what cause they wanna go home and she read the wrong sign and now requires the manager from the main registers to tell her shes being a brainless git

i get asked my age all the time cause people dont think im old enough to be in this register section and while i appreciate the compliments its very annoying when they scrunch up their entire face like im some pile of shit while doing so

sorry you had anger lines by 25 ma'am, but my resting bitch face is too strong for brow lines. i can be absolutely furious and look vaguely disinterested at the same time, hun

once i was at the main registers and some middle aged perv brought his items up while talking on the phone about seeing a girls nudes and how he was going to order her from some book. his eyes never reached my face and he never put the phone down

some old man who was clearly of the opinion that all people with tits are stupid got so mad at me that the reduced sticker on one of his items had fallen off that he had to jump right to yelling at me about it before asking why it had rung up full price. i tried to ask about the sticker but he kept yelling over me and worked himself up into such a rage i had hardly begun paging for a manager when one showed up cause he was so fucking loud the phone picked him up

i hope his grave is small and unremarkable

anyway, some pricks really need to learn how to interact with people who are just doing their jobs

[stagefoureddiediaz]

really its because of you that ive become sort of. not obssesed but like whenever i watch the show i just. keep looking at the costumes! trying to look for the patterns in your theories and its become one of my favorite parts of this hahahah anyway, the point is i was reading some of your check theory posts earlier today and now i started rewatching animal instincts (mind you i havent read your costume meta for that ep, i shoumd have done my homework!) and it was just really interesting to see it play out perfectly! specially in the scenes with buck + connor and cameron. like, in the dinner scene buck (buck's in black, i already read that disscusion) but also connor was in check! and cameron's shirt had like a big floral pattern and all i could think about was how that was sort of a reflection on what they would bring to buck after that scene! (which also like, reinforces the idea that the sperm donor thing is a Bad Idea), then connor wearing check to buck's loft later, aaaand my favorite, which i actually spotted during my first watch, was the stripes haha (i also think like half my dash was people going insane over that last monday), and the fact that buck wasnt the only one wearing the stripes, but i dont remember exactly what was the difference between vertical and horizontal stripes rn hahaha because ofc buck saying yes to the donation is supposed to be this big life change for connor and his wife, but i dont know what it all means! im just here chilling and spotting the patterns. idk, your costume theory is stuck on loop in my head and i cannot stop thinking about it!

(and im not even gonna get into the slutty black tanktop of it all and chris's new patterned pjs! thats a job for the professionals)

how did i do? did i get the assignment right? hahahaha anyway thank you for helping me and all of us actually to appreciate the art and thought that goes into costume design, its really interesting to me and i wouldnt have started to learn more about it if it werent for you 💛 have a great weekend and see you next monday!!

jj / babygirldiazz

JJ/ babygirldiazz

I'm so sorry its taken me an age to reply to this! real life got a bit crazy for the last 10 days or so - fighting literal and metaphorical floods and fires at work so I just haven't had the brain power to go through my inbox properly until now!

I adore that you are having fun playing spot the patterns and see if they fit the theory. I hope you're now read the Animal instincts costume meta and that you enjoyed it. you're pretty spot on with your analysis of everything and the thing with stripes is that my theory is about the horizontal ones we see on lots of characters - which Conor was the one wearing in that scene.

The vertical stripes is a specific Buck thing, and they tend to accompany him being emotionally compromised (and invariably ending up making a less than stellar choice). This is really interesting and I've only just fully put two and two together on this (so JJ you get all the praise and gratitude for allowing me to spiral and go on a little Buck costume trawl) but the shooting is the first time we see Buck in vertical stripes.

And thats big - really big - because that is the moment Buck becomes emotionally compromised in a way that he hasn't been able to come back from. Everything that has been and is going on with buck stems back to the shooting. The shooting lead to a host of other choices that were less than ideal - things that he wouldn't have done, choices he wouldn't have made, if the shooting haddn't happened - letting Taylor into his life, saying ILY to her, moving her into his apartment, etc etc etc. all stem from the shooting and all are times when Buck is wearing stripes.

The ones from Let the games begin fit into this pattern - the zip front denim shirt and then the cream shirt both tie into Bucks reluctance to get a new couch - and the questioning of who he is and what he wants - the fact that he's essentially in stasis - and hasn't fully moved on with his life - leading to him trying out self help books etc as a way of figuring out what he wants from life - this is a trauma response in so many ways and those shirts are our sign - a theme the costume designers are using to tell us, the audience, that Buck isn't doing great - that he is mentally unwell and it's why these vertical striped shirts are becoming more frequent in their appearance - because he's not getting better - he's getting worse - spiralling more.

Thats why I've only just been able to really get my head around their use on Buck in the last couple of episodes - it can sometimes take a little while to figure out what a designer is trying to say with patterns and styles, and this is no exception. I fully expect us to be seeing more Buck in vertical stripes going forward until he either fully breaks down, or until he is able to start healing properly - and I'm pretty confident we won't see him stop wearing them until the shooting has been talked about by Buck and Eddie. Its sitting there hanging over them and this show is all the levels of insane and clever for the way they are using all the tools at their disposal to provide clues and information for those of us who want to spend the time looking.

Just going to sit here and feel even more feral about the shooting of it all than I already was!

I hope you have an amazing week JJ and feel free to pop into my inbox whenever you like - you've made my day!

💜💜💜

[sugaftrm]

♡ sweet sope ♡

love notes for my mutuals hi everyone, this past week has been full of extra love and wanted to share my appreciation, not just for this joyful community, but for the people who brighten up each day with their presence! 

@blueandtaes - hi my sib, i love you. being in this fandom together is a godsend. through the weeping, the cackling, the impulse purchases, the city adventures and home dance parties, i’m so blessed to be doing it all with you. ​

@zmalik - sabrina shonaaaa you’re one of the first people i followed on this website (i legit think you were the second person after my sister), i dont know why you followed when you did since i was a chaotic mess back then but i am so so thankful that you did! i remember our early convos and i still fantasize about deshi food hangouts in the city, whether that’s yours or mine. you’re the kind of person who in many ways I aspire to be, because you say what’s on your mind without the fluff. I’ve been meaning to ask you why you hate ji changwook btw but I’ve been scared! one day let’s talk about it over chaa nastha? Love you, and sending all my affection to you and ur new kitten!! @yoonglet - hello angel aahana! I feel as though no matter how I try to word how I feel about you, it will always fall short. You are one of the most generous, strong-willed, friendly people I know. Your aura is bright and I am so honored to witness you, even if it’s through this limited window of armytumblr. thank you for believing in me, when I didn’t believe in myself! Your support means everything <3 @artsyjoons - anj! i distinctly remember an early convo we had where we were talking about namjoon doing an srk pose lmfao thank you for understanding what i was rambling about in the tags and initiating a convo with me! every morning i wake up and i see you enriching my feed with your thoughts, your humor, and your captivating energy! please share with me the secret to being so sweet and cool??  @rosebowl - my sweetheart Sharika, when I think about you honestly… I feel anxious and giddy! Because I wonder what luck I must have accidentally stumbled upon to find a desi army friend right here in New York, and that too someone who shares so many of my own values and interests!!?? Sounds like a dream, hope I never wake up! My adoration for you grows every day, please know that I am rooting for you and support you, just how you show up endlessly for all of us! Can’t wait for our future adventures xoxoxo @taefiore - hi my darling raabia! (I hope you’re resting and not stressing when you read this, but if you are stressed I hope this makes you smile) I feel like I have to thank run-on for bringing us together?? I have enjoyed every single one of our conversations and interactions, you’re easily one of the most clever and sweet people on this site! thank you for listening to my dreams, for all your kind/witty commentary on things I post, and for being an all-around incredible person! i know how hard you work and I hope your future is just as bright as you are, love you! @bibillyhillsbaby - lovely helena, are your legs tired? Cus you’re running through my mind oooooh! we’ve said this to each other many times, how fun it is to chat about shows, about our love for these men,™ and more! but have I told you about the times you’ve generated warmth and peace for my soul? your compassion has not gone unnoticed dear friend <3 you’ve made so many of us laugh and smile, lended kind words when we’ve needed them the most. I hope that when you see flowers and trees, you think of all our love blossoming for you!  @kithtaehyung - oh ryen! when you created the ‘still with you’ gfx you officially stole my heart! but then you went and kept it for good when you made the ‘magic shop’ gfx during a challenging time in my life. your empathy and your cheerfulness was a clearing for my foggy mind! you’re a stellar person and i get such a burst of joy when i see you on my feed. if i could handwrite notes for you everyday, i would! <3 @pinkjjoon - sara i can’t remember our first conversation, but i could’ve swore it had something to do with the term “namjaan” lmao! though we’re timezones apart, i am glad the internet brought us together cus i really need more desi army visibility! i appreciate your candidness, your humor, as well as your kind words during hard times. i hope bts gets their act together and holds a concert where you are cus you more than deserve it!  @hazeltae - allison, ive been trying to put to words why i feel so drawn to you and why you always make my day and i think it’s bc you’re a capricorn sun/pisces moon!!! no wonder you have this way of making people feel steady, held while also relating to them on an emotional level! i love talking to you about rj, about yoongi, about totally normal shopping habits <3 thank you for all that you are and for being such a sweetheart!  @gimbapchefs - hello nat!! even though we’re newer mutuals, there’s such a refreshing ease in our conversations that i truly appreciate! i find myself resonating with your thoughts and reactions, and cackling at things you reflect in the tags! i also admire your dedication to your studies, even when you get a little distracted ;) we need more people like you in the field, i’m so excited to see where your journey takes you!  @intronnevermind - hi raf! it’s such a pleasure to be connected here! we haven’t spoken much but your posts and content leave me with a great sense of joy/admiration! i am so impressed by your style and am looking forward to anything you create in the future. thank you for sharing sweet remarks about my amateur content and for being such a lovely part of this community! @ourownwings - wings :) i am so in awe of the creations you provide for the community and all the tender labor that goes into relaying the BU stories here! i can only imagine the time it takes to do that, but you’ve done above and beyond - and i’m so proud of your milestone! i was delighted to chat with your about your life outside tumblr, and wish you all the best in your future endeavors! thank you for being such a sweet, supportive presence in my orbit!  @jintae - padya, it’s likely you’ll see this if/when you return from your hiatus but you should know that i appreciate our exchanges and how excited i was to connect with another nyc bengali army! i hope you are taking care and finding enjoyment during your days <3 i think about your written piece about the impact bts has had on you as well as the publication you created for the community, and am so proud to know that you’ve spearheaded these meaningful spaces for others. i hope our bond can grow over time, universe-willing, and that you get every happiness you absolutely deserve!

to my lovely mutuals who amaze me every time with their creations & their talent, and have given me much laughter/much comfort, i am grateful for you. i have much warmth in my heart for you all and appreciate the conversations we’ve had about life, about bangtan, and anything in between. thank you for being here: @duckjinnie @ayosuuga @yoongisshadow @userjiminie @jinbestboy @mykrokosmos @marvelousbangtan @jimindelune @floraljimin @flowerseokjin @dinamitae @zhujieqiong @thegoddessly @kooseokss @dalbichigom @jinjagi @joonsrack 

[all-hail-the-witcher]

loving too hard

so at the last minute i put this in the spies verse although it can 110% be read as a standalone. im not sure when it takes place so dont ask.

by popular demand here's the playlist of songs i was inspired by:

la devotee thin white lies lose you too dying in la 8 letters the reason who knew this is gospel

______

genre: sad 

ship: platonic ralbert

words: some

editing: nah

warnings: its sad, one brief mention of a shootout and weapons, use of the word love, feelings of regret, emotions, albert is stuck in his head and he made a bad decision, race just wants his hot pockets, he was at walgreens

_____

What the hell are you doing here?

Albert stared down at his hands, the light from the setting sun bathing them in gold, accentuating the purplish bruises scattered across his knuckles. Half moons of dried red framed his nails and dirt streaked his forearms. The gentle breeze stung his cuts. But no part of him was compelled to clean off the remnants of the work day. He’d fought willingly, hell it was his job after all, but suddenly it seemed so strange and weird and...wrong. Normally the last day of a case was thrilling and crisp with satisfaction, but all he could bring himself to feel was hollow regret.

It couldn’t be his job. Albert had known exactly what he was signing up for: long nights of research, stakeouts, codenames, fake identities, tailing criminals, not being seen, broken bones, scars, fights, shootouts, outrunning the inescapability of death time after time again...the endless prospects gave him goosebumps. He was a danger seeker. If he were told to take down a criminal with his eyes closed and hands tied behind his back he’d say well bring it the fuck on already!

And yet here he was, contemplating going back inside and opening his laptop to type a very half assed resignation letter. Why?

The view from the cheap hotel room was nothing special (the parking lot of a run-down strip mall mostly populated by a flock of crows) but he found himself leaning forward against the rickety hotel balcony railing to get a better look. Part of him knew that there was a very real chance it could snap and he would plummet 3 stories, but he found himself not caring. He’d fallen from higher places before. If anything, Race would yell at him for being stupid and reckless.

Race. Where was that bastard anyway? He’d left 45 minutes ago to go get first aid supplies or something, Albert hadn’t really been listening. Still, he was pretty sure that it didn’t take 45 minutes to run into Walgreens and grab some rubbing alcohol and gauze. He should have been back by now and Albert couldn’t bring himself to care.

Race was the whole reason he had this job. Why he had left home. Why he had seen so much of the world. Why he knew how to carry on half decent small talk in Russain (thanks Duolingo). Why he was one of the best field agents in the country. Why he could order meat-lovers pizza in 15 languages and counting. Why he had become such a better person than he had been in high school. But then again, Race was also the reason he had nightmares. Why he had nearly died countless times. Why he felt as though he was stuck in a life he wasn’t sure he would pick for himself if he had had the option.

Everything he had done had been for Race. Every bullet he’d taken, every scar he’d gotten, every panic attack he’d had, every time he’d hid his doubts and his fears about the mission...that had all been for Race. To protect him, to make sure he was happy.

Not like that plan had worked anyway. He knew that every time he so much as scraped himself Race panicked. And then they would ignore it until it became too much and Race would end up revealing just how much it hurt him that Albert was doing stupid shit behind his back and why can’t you just think about how this will affect me for once!?

But Race always came back, always tried to mend the rift. He made sure Albert was comfortable and he wasn’t pushing any boundaries. And what did Albert do in return? Kept fuckin hurting him. Race didn’t deserve that. Hell, no one did, but certainly not Race.

Race was too good for him. He had always been too good for him. Albert didn’t deserve a friend as good as Race, he never had and he never would.

The light’s clicked on in the parking lot below. It was no surprise that the lights, much like the strip mall, were shitty and flickering. Still, he was able to make out one lone figure holding two Walgreen’s bags. Only Race would be able to justify spending an hour in a Walgreens. Even from the balcony Albert could tell that Race’s hair was still coated in a thick layer of dirt and that he hadn’t bothered to change out of his mission clothes yet. Seeing him walking calmly back lifted a weight in his chest.

Are you sure you wanna leave this?

Albert turned swiftly, wrestling with the near-broken door for a moment before bursting back into the hotel room. Blindly he grabbed his backpack and threw random clothes and weapons in. Race was safe. He didn’t need to be here anymore now that he knew that Race was safe. Race was smart, he’d be fine, he didn’t need Albert.

He was in the middle of scribbling Race a half assed note when the door opened, bringing Race in with it. Shit.

“Hey Albie, sorry it took so long, I decided to get us food also but then couldn’t decide what to get and also Walgreens doesn’t have the best food options so I got hot pockets and chips and salsa, which, now that I’m saying that I realize that those are essentially the same thing, I hope that’s okay…” He finally looked up, noticing Albert. “Are you going somewhere? Is everything okay?”

“I’m so sorry Antonio.” Albert kept his voice low, knowing it would break if he spoke too loudly. “I can’t do this.”

Race dropped his bags on the bed and stepped closer to Albert, reaching out to grab his arm. “Do what?”

Albert flinched, stomach tightening as he stepped back to avoid Race’s touch. He felt guilty, but he couldn't do this, he couldn’t do this, fuck why couldn't he- “This,” he waved his hands as if in explanation.

“What Albie?” Race asked gently. “Stay in the hotel? The mission-”

“Us!” Albert blurted out. “I can’t do us.”

“What?” Race’s voice was small and broken as he stepped back, eyes suddenly glassy. Instant regret swelled up in Albert’s throat, but he forced it down. He couldn’t keep doing this anymore. It wasn’t right of him.

“I’m sorry. You’re too good for me Tonio. You’re too good for me and all I do is hurt you. I can’t be friends with you knowing that. I loved you too hard. I need time.” He picked up his backpack, unable to look Race in the eyes. Once his back was turned he tried to wipe at his own tears subtly, but winced when he remembered that he had too black eyes.

“Will you be back?” “I don’t know.” Albert picked up the note he had been writing and held it out to Race.

Race took the letter gently, looking at Albert thoughtfully. “I love you Albert,” he whispered finally. “You can always come back.”

Albert reached for the doorknob. “I-” his tongue stuck in his throat like sandpaper. He couldn’t say it. “Thanks,” he mumbled instead before stepping out into the hallway.

What did you just do?

_____

feedback is always appreciated hmu to be on the taglist

tag list

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@sun-kissed-star

@racetrackcook

@ughwaitwhat

@aw-jus-let-em-try​

@voice-foundshoe-lost​

@stopthe-presses

@pinecovewoods

@i-got-no-clue-what-im-doing​

@getchapapes

@be-more-chill-evan-hansen​

@stellar-alpaca

@saxoph-ella

@smolcanadiankid​

@disney-princess-sized​

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@have-we-got-news-for-you

@thatfancyclam

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@panpervinca

[trislosherfan25]

Radiohead Fun Facts <3

Fun fact about Radiohead: I know none of the names of the guys and i only know what the one singer guy’s face looks like bc i saw it once somewhere

Fun fact 2: I should probably learn about the individual guys but I don’t because I dont really care that much

Fun fact 3: i should learn abt the bassist tho bc im a bassist and he’s a pretty good bassist so maybe i could learn a thing or two (like this guy is a REALLY good bassist)

OKAY NOW IM GONNA TALK ABT THE ALBUMS IN CHRONOLOGICAL ORDER BUT ONLY THE ONES IVE LISTNED TO

Pablo Honey (1993) - this one is Radiohead's first album and tbh it’s not very good. even if you don’t listen to this band or care about them you probably know the song Creep which is on there. tbh that’s probably the best song on the album and the Radiohead guys themselves don’t even like it that much. They were like “Creep? more like Crap!” (tbh the song isn’t *that* bad, just nowhere near as good as their later music) I’ve tried to get through this album a couple times but i could never do it bc it’s just not that good!!! It seems like it was riding off the grunge wave that was really popular at the time. This means not only did the album not have that much of an original sound but also there were tons of other bands doing this sort of thing and doing it better. Creep is probably the song that has the most unique sound compared to the rest of that album. Also grunge (while more of an era than a genre) is mostly known for who it was sparked by, Nirvana, and Nirvana is punk rock through and through. The Radiohead guys are way to big of nerds to do punk rock. The Bends (1995) - this is Radiohead’s second album and I like this one a lot. It bares some similarities to Pablo Honey in terms of keeping with a little bit more of a rock sound but it doesn’t feel like it’s trying to copy anybody. The lyrics on this album are WAYYYYY better. Like a vast vast improvement. The guitar solos are much better too. The most popular songs on this album I’d say are High and Dry as well as Fake Plastic Trees, these also are probably my least favorite songs on the album because they’re slower and I don’t like the vocals in them as much as other songs. My favorite songs from this album are Just, My Iron Lung, and (Nice Dream), these ones all have more of a rock element than the ones I mentioned previously and the instrumental parts are So Good! Even though I think this album is a vast improvement from the first it still doesn’t completely have it’s own unique sound just yet. I don’t see that as much as a hinderance on this album, just something that puts it below some of the later albums.  OK Computer (1997) - THIS ALBUM! This is the album where Radiohead really comes into their own sound, it still has that rock element but it feels different. All the little details and textures in their sound come together in this great album and puts Radiohead on a clear track for where the rest of their sound ends up in later albums. This album seems to be *The* Radiohead album that most people would know them for beyond knowing them for the song Creep. This album also is pretty special/nostalgic to me because it was the first Radiohead album I listened to. Deadass I spent most of my middle school years listening to that album on and old hand-me-down mp3 player my dad gave me that just had his old music saved to it. I don’t know if i have a least favorite song on the album, all the songs on this album are really good if I’m being honest. If I had to pick a few favorites I’d say they would be Exit Music (For A Film) and Paranoid Android, I like these songs because they feel like they’ve got a lot of story to them just shown through the instrumentals and everything. Also fun fact! I know the bass part to Paranoid Android, it’s still difficult at some parts for me to play but I still love it.  Kid A (2000) - Okay ngl I still haven’t given this one a good listen just yet. I’ve listened to the thing in full maybe once or twice but I don’t remember it well. I have listened to the songs Everything In Its Right Place and How to Disappear Completely quite a few times tho and these songs are amazing. From what I’ve heard from this album/remember from it it seems like a pretty logical next step sound wise from the last album going into the next one. It’s not completely different from OK Computer but it’s definitely it’s own unique thing. The songs on this album are a bit more depressing and more of them seem to be slower and more experimental. You also see a stronger ambient element enter Radiohead’s music here. Amnesiac (2001) - DREAD!! DEVESTATION!!!! This album is really good, I wouldn’t say it’s my favorite album but by god it is a good fuckin album. I’ve listened to this one in full quite a few times in full but it’s been a while since I’ve done that (I’ve just been listening to a song or two from it every so often) because when I first gave this album a full listen I was at a pretty low place. This album has the strongest ambient element Radiohead’s music has had so far, the sound is slower, darker, and heavier. It feels like you’re sitting in the cold rain just soaking wet and not moving at all. The songs are even more depressing too tbh. Once again I don’t have a least favorite song on this album, at least not one that I can remember. My favorite songs would probably be Knives Out, I Might Be Wrong, and You And Whose Army? Top 10 bangers to listen to while absolutely falling apart imo 10/10

Hail To the Thief (2003) - This album is also really good, I actually own this one on vinyl. This album sees that distorted rock element come back a little but this album does have some of the ambient vibe to it as well. It feels a bit more experimental and emotions wise it feels angrier than other albums, not in a punk rock kind of way but just in feeling. I think this album starts to have some crazier rhythms, I’m not sure how to describe it. It feels more advanced than some of their previous music. Some of the songs on this album I’m not the biggest fan of but they’re still good songs it’s just some of the other songs on this album really outshine some others. My favorites from this album are 2 + 2 = 5, Backdrifts, There, There, and Myxomatosis. If I’m being honest while I do like this album a lot I don’t have too many strong feelings about it.

In Rainbows (2007) - OH MY GOD!!! THIS ALBUM!! OH MY GOD!! I love it so much it’s so beautiful. It really encompasses everything I love about Radiohead it’s almost hard to describe. The rhythms are hypnotic, the lyrics are great, the vocals are stellar, the instrumentals- just oh my god I love it to death. I own this one of vinyl and it puts me in a trance whenever I listen to it. There are different emotions in each song on this album but it never falters. It reminds me of something my dad said once where we were listening to a song and he said “just ride the wave” - this is that type of music, the kind of music where you just sit back and ride the wave. I love every single song on this album but Weird Fishes/Arpeggi and Jigsaw Falling Into Place are my top picks for this album. I’ve been working on learning the bass part to Jigsaw Falling Into Place and while I’m not musically literate enough to express exactly what’s happening in this song because I’m not a fucking nerd but I can say that playing this song is like riding the wave, it’s not exact or repetitive but it moves and flows perfectly with the song. Learning music like this as a bassist has taught me to think differently about my own playing. It’s hard for me to pick a favorite Radiohead album for many reasons but if you put a gun to my head and made me choose one I’d say this one is it. 

A Moon Shaped Pool (2016) - There’s a big time skip here because I haven’t listened to The King of Limbs which came out in 2011 but the sound of this album is definitely something that seems like a more evolved version of what Radiohead did on In Rainbows. Holy shit though, this album. THIS ALBUM. This album fucking knocks it out of the park it’s one of the most beautiful things I’ve ever listened to. A lot of people like to say this is Radiohead’s most depressing album, they’re wrong, I can’t speak to albums I haven’t listened to but I can say that Amnesiac is much more depressing than this album. I would call this Radiohead’s saddest album, it has that feeling to it but it’s not draining to listen to in the way that depressing music can be. While the album is sad it also brings me a feeling of peace when I listen to it (though this could be in part because of the associations I have with this album from the first time I listened to it). While In Rainbows is like riding the wave I’d say this album is like floating in dark water, its got that sense of flow while being more gentle about it. The first song on the album, Burn the Witch, doesn’t seem to fit in perfectly with the rest of the music but it’s not a completely jarring difference from the rest of the songs either so I don’t see it as any sort of hindrance on the quality of the album. Once again I love every song on this album, they’re all beautiful and ethereal, but my top picks would have to be Decks Dark and Present Tense. One of my most favorite things about this album is how every song seems to flow into the next, it really is the sort of album that’s meant to be listened to in order and as an entire piece of art. I really appreciate albums that do that sort of thing.

Alright those are my Radiohead thoughts for the time being. I haven’t listened to In Rainbows (Disk 2) or The King of Limbs in full, I haven’t really listened to Kid A much either but I figured it was important to mention anyway bc people talk about that one so much. I also didn’t mention any singles or EPs just bc I haven’t listened to all of them and didn’t feel like talking abt the ones I have listened to. 

IF YOU READ THIS FAR WE CAN MAKEOUT!!!!!!! I LOVE YOU THANK YOU FOR READING!!!

[coalitiongirl]

ive been watching your scenes to rewatch and ive been crying at literally all of them. out of curoisity, what are your favourite ouat scenes? either sq or general? also side note, i love your latest fic, such an interesting premise. i get so scared every time someone says an order and emmas forced to comply, that scene with the trolls had me on edge. and the fact that cora must suspect something about emma now - im so scared but excited ahah :D have a nice day :)

OH I super dropped the ball on those omg, i have so many others!! but i haven’t been able to rewatch in a long time, it hard 😩

of course i LOVE almost every swan queen scene!! it’s hard for me to pick favorites because nearly every one pings something else inside me omfg. I don’t think there’s a single sq scene I couldn’t write an essay about WHOOPS. so lemme try to answer this with just some of my favorite non-sq scenes 😅

Emma in True North: hoo boy, this is probably in my scenes to rewatch but that scene on the road, MAN. there’s so much careful buildup with emma’s abandonment issues and how much she sees herself in nick and ava. and they have a chance she never does and dammit, she fights for them!! she fights for two kids just like her and they get their moment and jmo turns that realization into agony with sheer artistry in emma’s FACE in their final moment. god.

Regina in We Are Both: this was the episode that sold me on Regina! tbh i’d marathoned s1 as soon as they announced mulan was going to be in s2 so i hadn’t been focusing much on thinking before that?? and then suddenly there’s Regina, in all her rich and layered stories, and i fell hARD. the whole narrative of the episode- Regina resisting parental abuse until she becomes what she’s always feared to be free!! and that translating into her saying ‘no, this isn’t going to continue to the next generation. even if i lose the only thing that matters to me.’ do u ever stan!!! I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE VERY WELL. END ME.

Emma in Firebird: listen. never follow ur idols to ur next fandom or you’ll suddenly realize they actually hate women and then get ‘’’muted’’’ for ‘’’yelling at her too much’’’ but jane espenson did a GOOD with the flashbacks in this one (present day still literal and figurative hell tho!!). The concept of Emma’s jacket as armor isn’t an original one, but the execution was honestly stellar. Emma forging this connection with an older hardened woman who can’t let go of the past either!! emma destroyed and remade into the lady we met on her twenty-eighth birthday. GOD. SHE FINDS HER DAUGHTER. and i gotta say, the vulnerable-tearful-young thing jmo was doing w emma in s5 didn’t work for me in terms of what present day was trying to convey, but it’s a perfect fit for that flashback, i WEPT.

Regina in Quite A Common Fairy: Lana OWNS the cave scene with Tink, god. The depth and breadth of emoTION. The episode and the narrative itself builds it up from episode one! because this regina on the road to redemption but finally giving us a glimpse into the emotional and mental state she was in as the young queen- she has all this rage and she’s SUSTAINED by it, it’s her only real truth and constant and she’s terrified of what might happen if she lets it go for even an instant and chooses hope instead. (Lana’s voice when Regina says she’s afraid that without rage she might just ‘—float away’ is something that has stayed with me for a long, long time.) REGINA PULLING OUT HER HEART TO MAKE A POINT. far from the last time she will, but how affecting!! god!!

Emma and Snow in S1: There are a few moments i’m thinking of (and i’m literally writing this on the treadmill so pls forgive the lack of episode names) and all of them are so stellar, god. The moment when Snow finds Emma living out of her car early on. Snow and Emma sitting at the table at the loft holding hands. Emma lying down next to a crying Snow. Snow yelling at Emma for being so selfish when she tries running off with Henry?? EMMA SHOWING UP AT MARY MARGARET’S DOOR SEARCHING FOR A ~PERSON~ AND MARY MARGARET SILENTLY LETTING HER IN. Snow and Emma work best in S1 in the silences and the fights, where they’re allowed to just care and be family, and I treasure each of those moments as much as they do.

Regina and Zelena in the Kansas: There’s a lot of effort put into this dynamic right near what seemed like the end, playing with how exactly Zelena perceives her happy ending to go- and then Regina strikes it all down by being different, by changing, by being someone Zelena hadn’t believed either of them capable of. And then Regina goes to Zelena’s cell and offers her!! sisterhood!! my god. i instantly fell in love with the dynamic in that moment and i’m forever pressed that the ‘it’s nice to have family in town’ line was cut. because you can tell that regina craves family and craves unmaking this second monster of her mother’s and zelena was going to TAKE that second chance and hey! this seems the perfect time to go off-message and

Belle in Family Business and Heroes and Villains: imma be honest, i like belle just fine in the early seasons but i have zero interest in rumbelle, which means a lot of fast-forwarding through her scenes. But these two scenes were ENCHANTING. Mirror Belle preying on Belle with the truth that she’s afraid to face! Emilie does such a fantastic job conveying so much cruelty in that scene, I was gaping and enthralled and hoping shattered sight was going to work exactly like that (and tbh props to ginny for doing a hella creepy snow at the start of Shattered Sight). And that town line scene!!! What a stunning, evocative scene. Belle reclaiming agency and taking action in such a 100% cold-blooded but necessary way!! that’s my ravenclaw babe!!!

Mulan and Aurora: I was young, and I Believed, and I Believed for a very long time. I am appalled at my naïveté too, don’t worry.

Regina in Enter the Dragon: LOOK it’s not about the leather but it’s a lil about the leather!!! I really appreciate both Regina in the past and present in this one and also how gay it is, and I’m most charmed by lil evil pep talking nugget Regina who just wants you to be the very best villain you can be! It’s such an artful melding of the exuberance of young!Regina and the delight in chaos of eq!Regina and i, for one, am a fan.

Emma (and Henry) in The Stranger/An Apple Red as Blood: my gOD. Okay I think one of the first times I cried while watching this show was in Emma’s desperate, hysterical denial to August about the curse. She’s so clearly hit rock bottom and she’s TERRIFIED of believing and it’s breaking her. SHE DIDNT ASK TO BE RESPONSIBLE FOR EVERYONES HAPPINESS. SHE DOESNT WANT IT. THAT IS CRAP!!!! i love her!! i love emma swan!!! i do!!!!! and then moving into the end of the next episode when she tells henry she’s leaving and just!! ‘henry! life isn’t a story!’ man this show had some incredible early work. sigh. emma kneeling in front of henry begging him to listen! my god.

Regina in the Cricket Game: so i’m leaving out all my fave sq moments which severely limits the number of regina and emma scenes i can talk about here but the flashbacks in this one SURE ARE SOMETHING. regina has hit rock bottom in this set and you feel it in every moment, in her REGRET THAT I HAVE NOT CAUSED MORE PAIN and frickin stABBING snow and that dark scene with the candle oh god. this is a regina who doesn’t think about looking back anymore but who doesn’t think about looking forward, either, and she’s terrifying. it reminds me a lot of the scene later this season in Welcome to Storybrooke where she takes out snow’s heart and ‘see? i can have everything’ but there are tears sliding down her face. regina in enraged despair is something to behold!!

Henry (and Emma and Regina) in Operation Mongoose: Henry doesn’t often get lengthy times to shine that aren’t about other characters, but he was literally a YA hero in the author’s universe! man! what a kid! and his scenes with bandit Regina are some of my all-time favorites, as is that heartstopping moment when he reaches the top of that tower and flings the door open and Emma KNOWS him. reader, i wept. i wept hard. talk about your earned moments!!!

Emma as Dark Swan: posture! clothing! positioning! voice work! dark swan was a revelation i’m still rightfully bitter about, because she was EVERYTHING in those early episodes. the way she caressed snow’s face in first episode of 5a. the faux-innocent with the calculating eyes on the ship with whats-his-name. every interaction with henry where she was trying to be a PERSON. the way she moved! the way she felt more reptilian than human! i wanted to know everything about her!! (then i did and quit the show lol) honestly some of jmo’s best acting to date, i’m forever in awe.

That Still Small Voice: look, this is an episode about a cricket and it remains one of my favorite quality ouat episodes. Archie sells it best as an adult influenced by his past without quite knowing it, and Archie and Henry make for a really engaging dynamic in here. There is nothing about Archie’s professional behavior that doesn’t make me want to scream but this remains a very, very good episode.

Emma in Sympathy for the De Vil/Lily: okay this is cheating a little because so much of this is also Regina but!! Emma individually shines in this narrative and throughout 4b. From the moment she finds out about what her parents had done, you can watch it slowly draining a part of her?? yes her eyes got redder but there was also this kind of apathy about EVERYTHING. And tbh the Cruella episode is pretty awesome on its own (I love the slow revelation that Cru is the villain, what a stellar execution of a fave trope) but WHEN EMMA KILLS HER. In the exact moment that Cruella says ‘heroes don’t kill’. that’s what pushes emma over the edge!! and then emma ready to kill again the next episode because she feels like she’s sliding into an abyss, i couldn’t BREATHE. emma is incredible when the narrative lets her be angry, and i wanted So Much More. Speaking of which, Emma getting angrier and angrier and almost losing it in The Snow Queen was more of that anger!! i am HUNGRY for it.

Regina and Snow in The Evil Queen: This episode is messy af but damn did my heart skip a beat when a hooded hero saves Regina and tears off her hood and it’s SNOW. This episode does so much of what makes Snow/Regina so fascinating and frustrating, both in the present and the past. Their interactions in the woods moved me! changed me! and Regina had already crossed the point of no return but oh man, oh man, the way they’d almost gotten somewhere for a minute there.

Regina and Henry in Save Henry: A classic, a work of art, and I’ve said so much about it in the past that I’m exhausted just thinking about expressing it all again now. But what a STORY of an evil queen who falls in love with a little boy. What a narrative!! The promo pictures from this episode came out when I was sitting in the hospital for a checkup while I was expecting my daughter, and I was tearing up and the nurses thought it was about the ultrasound. I’M NOT PROUD. This is a love story!!! And it culminates again in A Curious Thing, by the way, which put another ten years on my life, an Epic !

Emma and Henry in New York City Serenade: boy was this a journey, but I was absolutely spellbound omg. This was a love song to a fantasy but it’s a fantasy that never unmakes Emma– she’s afraid of commitment and happiness and everything permanent in her life that isn’t Henry, but she’s still going to take that leap despite herself. It’s a wonderful character study that captures Emma’s essence in a new world, with a new past.

Snow in The Miller’s Daughter: Snow is at her best when the show isn’t painting her with rose-colored glasses and we get to see her darker side, and I don’t think she ever gets quite as dark in the first three seasons as she is when she’s standing there, smiling earnestly at Regina as she tells her that the key to Cora loving Regina is in the poisoned heart she holds. My god. It’s so incredibly cold-blooded and vile, and it’s absolutely the kind of manipulative pragmatism that suits Snow best. I am enthralled and horrified.

Neal and Emma and Henry and Gold in Manhattan: This is one of those really cool scenes where even though I don’t particularly care for half the characters within it, everyone acted the hell out of it and it’s so GOOD. There’s so much tension and you’re holding your breath through the squabbling, and then Henry shows up and you KNOW. You know what’s going to happen and you’re terrified for Emma and it’s so visceral, right up until the instant when Neal demands Henry’s age and Henry shouts ELEVEN and my god, my god. What a reveal. What a scene.

There are more!! so many scenes and moments i’ve loved over the years. Emma and young!Lily! Snowing in Snow Falls! Anna of Arendale!! Snow and Emma in Lost Girl!! Ruby in Red Handed! The David/Emma dragon fight in A Land Without Magic! Regina tearing out that heart in The Doctor and meeting Daniel again?? Regina and her father in hell. all of Hat Trick. i think twenty is a good place to stop, but hoo boy, when this show was good, it was GOOD. alas.

[eludum-a]

(scheduled to post this around noon on thursday my time.)

as we head into this (american) thanksgiving, a lot of us are gonna be dealing with some Grade A Bullshit: retail work, bigoted relatives, etc. i wasn’t actually gonna do this originally, but then i realized what holiday was coming up right around the time of my blogiversary and i was like... welp. alright. guess we’re doing this then. things lined up too perfectly NOT to, and things can be kinda shitty for people around this time of year, so let’s put a little positivity back into the community! or something like that.

(yes i realize some of the people here are not american. no reason to deny my love tho.)

anyway, onto the callouts!

@ultimatetalentless have i talked about how much i love sin’s hinut lately? his and nanami’s friendship/rivalry (and his and chibot’s unresolved romantic tension) is so much fun to write and it’s so great having an Angst Partner to shoot terrible ideas at. on top of that i love talking to sin out of character and sharing some of the things we come across that remind each other of our muses. 

@mideoku​ julie followed me and the following day, snakes started manifesting physically in my house. i get no peace from them. they follow me home every day and beat me down with a two by four while yelling down with cis. but if we’re being real here julie’s shitposting lights up my dashboard every day for better or worse and theyre actually a really cool person. we’ll fight in pokemon when u catch up to me binch

@steinways​ sarah’s one of my oldest mutuals from all the way back when she just had her mahiru and i?? love sarah?? she’s such a sweetheart and all of her characterizations are so absolutely stellar. 10/10 would sarah again and also she made my theme so. yknow. amazing all around

@ongakuvoices rio’s a special brilliant soul w so much love for their muses and it shows in everything they write... i adore both their ibuki and their nagisa to pieces!! i know theyre gonna go places in life and ill be over here cheering them on from the sidelines, probably holding up some signs with memes on them

@jrco-disd actually i hate seth. nevermind. i’m not doing this

@nullverum​ boss was like one of the first ndrv3 blogs i interacted with long before the game had its official english release. i remember i made a post a while before saying that i thought ouma/nami would be a strange but cute brotp and hell! i was absolutely right in every way. its even funnier upon finding out ou/ma kind of plays the na/nami role just as much as the ko/maeda role in actuality (he’s gotta do both since a CERTAIN SOMEONE gets fridged at the beginning), so they’re surprisingly good (bad, actually) for each other. 

@ayatsurii sparkle’s peko is great ok? best sword girlfriend, would shower her in love and affection and cute things. nanami apparently has a thing for taller, stoic individuals with red eyes who could kick her ass one-handed. (don’t we all tho??) ahem. anyway. would recommend sparkle’s pekpek.

@kibouzuru i know we were mutuals for a while before i got involved with truth syndicate stuff? i feel silly not having interacted with u before because i rly should have. im really glad i got a chance to bc u and ur egg are cool (well, naegi’s a total dork) and now i can have nanami tease leggy and eggy about their relationship. she’s gotta get back at hinata for all those years of short jokes somehow, too bad naegi’s just collateral

@hikaup i remember i was on the lookout for pokemon blogs a while back and i stumbled across ur blog and was like... what the heck, this hikari seems way too cool... and wow!! i was totally right!! i love ur portrayal so much it’s such good shit and chiaki and hikari already have such a good dynamic. i hope chiaki gets to do Spooky Shit with hikari someday (and maybe even hold hands???? lets not get ahead of ourselves here) btw i get whiplash from how often u put out amazing themes

@kibcu

and yes, im gonna be at your basketball game tomorrow. stop telling me about it

@cantalazarus u know how i feel about u. ur smart and funny and talented and ur take on ur muses is So Good and 

@malchancevilain​ watchy is another one of my oldest mutuals and its always great to see their togami on my dash! we’ve been in a few group verses together now and i love seeing how he handles different situations (always with a great degree of salt) and just hanging out ooc! also: greg grimaldis wherever you are you better believe im getting those fifteen dollars back *mic drop*

@seineijashu​ oh.

hey nerd. we havent rly spoken much in a while but im still out here 100% in ur corner and i love everything u do. i know i dont know like anything about Boruto’s Dad like i said (im more a hunter x hunter guy myself,,,) but even if roleplaying opportunities are scarce im still totally down to talk like any time. now if only our time zones would line up. ps theres a secret message hidden here did you see it

@hopefromtheordinary​ it’s so great to see you back in the dr rpc! i loved your komaeda and your kamukura way back when. i love the twin shenanigans you and sin get up to (serious or crack) and i really can’t wait to get more chibot/kamukura stuff going! im excited i hope ur excited too

@gamblingqueen ANOTHER person i’m so glad to see back over here!! u were one of the first people to rly plot with me to any extent ooc and i am very excited to get right back into it! chiaki and celes are such an odd pair, but it’s wonderful to see them interact after they’ve both been brought so low. im over here rubbing my hands together at the speed of light in anticipation

@mxssias if naegi tries to get nanami to watch sword art online with him one more time shes gonna kill him and hide the body in the reserve course grounds. ahem. anyway. alex you’re such a little shit but you’re funny and i love your egg boy even if he’s constantly getting himself into trouble and sacrificing himself like he doesnt have anything better to do. get that boy a better hobby? thanks

and sorry if i forgot anybody! doing these is kind of exhausting for me and i might have gotten a little lazy, but i tried to hit most of the people i’ve been in contact with ooc at least a bit (who have been active within the past week or so).

...

...

.........................

@jrco-disd ok fine fuck you. seth was one of the first people in the fandom to reach out to me and even if he’s often belligerent at me for no good reason (ok, fine, maybe i deserve it) i still really appreciate his friendship and am glad that we can exchange shitty sonic memes with each other. the day we get that sonic forces monster factory is the day we both can die happy, probably after strangling each other

[sadrien]

goodbyes & hellos

on ao3

im so so so late but hey this is for first day of prompt week for @thinkoutsidethelovesquare​!!!! day one: wrong number

this was a lot of fun tbh and ive been dying to write this ship. alyas texts are italicized, adriens are underlined on ao3, just bold here bc tumblrs a butt. shoutout to @reyxa​ for the title <3

enjoy!

Alya narrows her eyes at the new message that lights up her phone. It’s an unknown number that she doesn’t recognize — not that she’s given her number to anyone recently — and it’s also seven in the morning . Anyone how knows her at all should know that she doesn’t wake up before at least nine on the weekends. (And that has nothing to do with the fact that she doesn’t sleep during the week and tends to go to bed after two in the morning.)

She groans as another message shows up on the screen. She squints and lets the messages flow in, figuring she can tell the person they’ve got the wrong number after they’ve finished whatever they have to say. Or she can decide that it’s unimportant and ignore it and go back to sleep.

She likes her second plan the best.

unknown number: Hi!

unknown number: Just wanted to let you know the start time for today has been moved from 10 to 9:15

unknown number: My father has a meeting at 1300 so he wants to get it all done as soon as possible

unknown number: And I know you mentioned wanting to have him on set yesterday

unknown number: I hope it’s not too much of an inconvenience! Your agent should be calling you soon, but I thought I’d give you a heads up

Alya squints at the screen. She doesn’t want to care but she’s curious. And curiousity killed the cat and all that but she’s used to letting her nosiness get the best of her.

unknown number: agents???

unknown number: 1st of all srry u have the wrong number

unknown number: 2nd of all were u talking to a movie star or smth???????

unknown number: book writer??

unknown number: what kinda person needs an agent

unknown number: Oh I’m sorry! I must’ve gotten the wrong number from someone

unknown number: I’m really sorry if I was bothering you

Alya rolls her eyes.

unknown number: u woke me up but its chill cause now im curious

unknown number: Curious? About what?

unknown number: way 2 keep avoiding the question

unknown number: ???

unknown number: u said the person u meant to text has an agent

unknown number: how fancy r they

unknown number: Oh! She’s a model!

Alya’s eyes widen. The most famous person she knows is that thirteen year old that was in her school who has ten thousand subscribers on YouTube because she makes lyric videos. The second is a boy who has a few thousand instagram followers because he has nice abs and lots of white boy clothing and muscle shirts.

unknown number: u kno a model????????

unknown number: Uhh

unknown number: I’m not sure how much personal information I should be giving to a stranger

Alya sighs. So close.

unknown number: its fine dude (dude? u good w that? lmk if u arent) i getchu

unknown number: u can just stop responding if u dont wanna talk

She locks her phone and slides it back under her pillow. She stares at the ceiling for a few more minutes, wondering if she’ll be able to fall back asleep. As much as she’d like to take the train back to dreamville, she can’t. Because now she’s awake and now she’s wondering. And once she stops wondering, she doesn’t stop.

She’ll probably stop thinking about this random wrong number in a few days and in a few months, she’ll forget about them entirely but…

Ugh.

Sleep definitely isn’t an option anymore.

Leaving her phone in her bed, she pads to the kitchen, twisting her hair up into a messy bun as she does so. No one is up yet — of course they aren’t, it’s seven on a Saturday and everyone is taking advantage of every precious minute of sleep they can get — so she has the run of the house to herself.

So she makes herself some coffee and a bowl of cereal and turns to television on. Her initial plan is to just leave it on whatever channel that’s playing when she first turns it on, and luckily the twins were the last ones to use it. Saturday morning cartoons. Score.

Alya stirs sugar in her coffee as Cyber Chase plays in the background. It’s not much more than background noise, it’s the middle of an episode and she doesn’t really know what’s happening, but she does snort at a few of the bad jokes.

“You’re up early,” her mom says before dropping a kiss on the top of Alya’s head.

Alya hums. “Got a few text messages and they woke me up.” She notes how her mom purposefully avoids eye contact as she opens a cabinet. Alya rolls her eyes and eats a spoonful of cereal.

“School friends?” her mom asks carefully.

“Yes,” Alya lies. Better than her mom asking more questions. The biggest one being why were you talking to a complete stranger?

“Are you going to see them before we leave?”

Alya glues her eyes to the TV. “If they’re around.”

Her mom makes an unimpressed sound and Alya resists the urge to roll her eyes. She texted a few of her friends the other week, but the conversation was awkward and stilted. They all had the same sort of idea about cutting ties.  

Alya sighs and puts down her spoon, twisting around in her seat to face her mom. “I promise I’m talking to them.”

Her mom gives her that look— the one where her lips purse and a crease between her eyebrows that’s becoming more and more permanent; the one that says she wants to push for more details, but won’t unless they’re volunteered first. Which Alya is not doing, thank you very much. “If you say so, honey,” her mom says, turning her attention to the breakfast she’s making.

Alya stares down into her cereal bowl.

Time to evacuate to her bedroom.

She finishes her cereal as quickly as she can without choking and dumps her bowl and spoon in the sink as she passes it, taking her coffee with her to her room. New plan: curl up in bed with her laptop and hope her mom just leaves her alone until they move.

Alya’s almost forgotten about her phone by the time she flops onto her bed. It vibrates almost as soon as she opens her laptop. She frowns as she pulls it out from under her pillow.

unknown number: Dude is fine for me

unknown number: He/him pronouns please

unknown number: Thanks for asking I really appreciate it, actually

unknown number: People don’t always ask

Plan trashed. This is a better plan.

unknown number: she/her for me

unknown number: and no prob man

unknown number: i wasnt gonna assume ur gender

unknown number: ok that mightve sounded bad but i didnt mean it in a bad way like the ‘lol dont assume my gender’ way jerks do sometime i meant it in like a genuine

unknown number: if u have smth u wanna say u should say it because i am very tired and i can go on for a while

Whoops.

Alya can’t say she’s known for her stellar first impressions but she usually doesn’t ramble her way into an awkward corner. She mindlessly flips through apps as she waits for a response.

unknown number: Don’t worry about it! I didn’t take it the wrong way or anything

Alya smiles to herself as she responds. He keeps leaving her openings which is nice. Based off his initial reaction, she thought he’d shut this down as fast as possible.

She realizes this is probably a little weird. But it’s the most exciting thing to happen to her since school let out so…

unknown number: so whats up stranger??

unknown number: b4 u ask im just sitting in my room doing nothing but text u so thats my morning

unknown number: I actually have work soon, so that’s fun

Alya raises her eyebrows. She forgot age was something else she didn’t know yet.

unknown number: oo work that sounds fun

unknown number: what do u do???

unknown number: I work for my dad, it isn’t anything special

unknown number: But it gives me something to do with my time so I don’t mind that much

unknown number: If I randomly stop responding without warning, that’s why

unknown number: good 2 kno

unknown number: can i ask what u do 4 ur dad or is that 2 personal

unknown number: I uh… I just do whatever he needs me to do

unknown number: I don’t get paid or anything but

unknown number: ay it still works as a resume builder

unknown number: Yeah exactly!

unknown number: thats cool that ur dad can get u a job!! my mom and dad could never w their jobs so i just suffer

unknown number: not that thats any different from what i would do anyway as a teenager

Alright, perfect. She’s brought up the age question in a really clunky and awkward way. Better than nothing.

unknown number: Oh how old are you?

unknown number: I’m 15

Alya lets out a sigh of relief.

unknown number: ayy same!

unknown number: just ur fav teenage superhero blogger

unknown number: doing nothing with her life

unknown number: You like superheroes?

unknown number: yeah!! i love comic books. you??

unknown number: I don’t have time to read many but yeah! I’ve always loved Spiderman

unknown number: wonder woman is my g i r l

unknown number: superheroes are just so cool

She waits a few minutes before she decides that he must have gone off to work. Bonding over superheroes, that’s good. A shared interest. She scrolls through their conversation, rereading some of the earlier messages before she creates a contact for him. She makes the name ‘stranger’ and leaves it at that.

It’s not like they’re meeting up or anything. Even if he is an ax murderer, can’t kill her if she never sends him her location.

Alya spends the next couple of hours avoiding her mom as much as possible. She takes her sisters to the park and then goes to the library after she brings them home.

She doesn’t want to talk about it.

She’s clicking through a webcomic that she missed a few weeks worth of updates when her phone buzzes. She glances down, expecting it to be a text from her mom asking if she has any plans or to do chores or something, but is pleasantly surprised to see a message from her stranger.

stranger: Sorry about that, work ran long

stranger: Admittedly, I don’t know very much about Wonder Woman, but she looks very awesome

unknown number: !!!!

unknown number: when ive got more time remind me to tell u all abou t her

unknown number: and to rec some comic books even if u dont have time

stranger: Is she your favorite?

Alya sits back in her chair. This conversation is going to be a long one.

Alya finds herself randomly texting her stranger for the next few days. He doesn’t always respond quickly, but he responds eventually, no matter how weird her original message.

That’s more than she can say for most of her friends.

She texts him as she’s sitting on the counter in her kitchen, stirring a pot.

unknown number: hey stranger whats up

stranger: Just reading, you?

unknown number: making box mac n cheese

stranger: Sounds fun

unknown number: yeah im gonna eat it straight from the pot

The three dots bounce on the screen as the stranger takes his time with the next message. Alya snorts and turns off the stove, straining the pasta and moving to the fridge to find butter and cheese. He’s found his words by the time she’s letting the butter melt in the pot.

stranger: Straight from the pot? Why?

unknown number: because i live life on the edge

unknown number: and also because im too lazy to clean the dish later

stranger: You know what? That’s fair

Sometimes, Alya thinks that she probably shouldn’t think about someone who she doesn’t even know the name of as often as she does, let alone text him as much as she does. But sometimes she’ll see something, and she’ll immediately think of him. Or she’ll just be randomly upset and feel the strong urge to pick up the phone and see if he’s available to vent to.

She knows it’s kind of weird, but she can’t help herself.

One night, at around two in the morning, she finds herself messaging him.

unknown number: hey did i ever mention i was moving

She’s almost asleep, slightly more okay than she was before she sent the text, when he responds.

stranger: You haven’t but we also don’t talk about where we live

Alya stares at the screen for a long moment, the bright light in the darkness making everything on the screen blur into nothing. She just feels kind of numb.

unknown number: yeah

unknown number: like 8 hours away from where i live now

stranger: Wow that’s a big move

unknown number: yeah

stranger: I’m guessing you don’t want to go?

unknown number: not really

unknown number: did u know ur my only friend right now

stranger: I am?

unknown number: me and my other friends sort of cut ties

stranger: The internet exists

stranger: Phones exist

stranger: FaceTime and Skype both kind of suck, but they exist

unknown number: yeah i guess

unknown number: i guess its just too hard for any of us to try

stranger: I have no idea how far apart we live

stranger: We’re doing just fine

unknown number: yeah

unknown number: yeah ur right

One of Alya’s small comforts that comes to mind whenever she thinks about moving is the fact that she’ll have her phone on her and a portable charger. Her stranger will be with her every step of the way.

He’d managed to get her to talk to some of her friends. She doesn’t really think it’ll last once she’s in Paris, but the attempt is nice. And it gives her other people to talk to for the rest of the summer.

It’s too early in the morning when they leave for the last time for her to get really emotional about moving. All she has the energy to do is to take a picture of her old apartment, caption it ‘one last goodbye to marseille’, and save it before sending it to her friends over Snapchat. Before she falls asleep against the car window, she texts it to her stranger.

She wakes up to a new text among the goodbyes from her friends.

stranger: Have a nice car ride! I’ll let you know when I get back from work <3

Alya hides her smile from her sisters and screenshots the text for later.

She texts him from the floor of her new bedroom while her dad starts moving boxes. They’ve been in the process of moving for a while now, shipping most of their things to Paris beforehand. Now all that remains is the actual unpacking.

Alya doesn’t have the energy for that. She just lays on the floor and stares at the ceiling for a while. Then she picks up her phone and sends him a text.

It’s been about an hour since they last talked. She’d talked to him for a good majority of the car ride, only stopping when he was busy and ending the conversation when they arrived so she could get her things out of the car and help her sisters with theirs. She’d sent him a picture of her empty bedroom and said ‘let the unpacking begin :P’. He’d responded with a ‘Good luck!!’ and ‘I’ll let you get to work!’

Alya’s thumb hovers over the send button for a few seconds. She’s never really pushed him for any sort of personal information before.

New city, new Alya. Or something.

unknown number: hey just wondering

unknown number: what do u have me in ur phone as??

unknown number: i have u in here as stranger

stranger: Your contact name?

stranger: Uh awkward but you don’t?

stranger: You’re the only one I just have the number for, so I know who you are that way

Alya reads his texts a few times before she responds. She doesn’t know what she expects in return, but she figures she has nothing to lose.

unknown number: im alya

unknown number: in case u were wondering

stranger: Hi Alya

stranger: I’m Adrien

[journeysintowebcomics]

Homestuck Liveblog #171

UPDATE 171: Like Punching Your Own Face

Last time Roxy had managed to create the matriorb out of thin air, and Dave and Dirk were finally having a much-needed conversation, Dave unloading everything he had in his head regarding Bro’s way of raising him. It was raw and made me sympathize a lot with Dave, but it’s not over yet. Let’s continue.

The first thing I read in this update is Dirk apologizing. Huh. It wasn’t your fault, Dirk, Dave simply had the bad luck of being raised by a sucky version of you. Then again, as it was pointed to me: Dirk himself admitted long ago that he has no business raising anyone. He’s not wrong, if this was the result. Roxy didn’t do a stellar job, but she wasn’t a complete disaster – the ocean-sized gap that’s the lack of communication between the Lalondes was the problem. All in all, maybe not having to raise them by themselves would have helped.

DAVE: you had a completely different life full of like  DAVE: different choices and actions and stuff 

He’s not wrong about that, environment shapes people a lot. I wonder how alternate Dave would have raised Dirk if there wasn’t the slight problem of Dirk being a few centuries in the future...and also if alternate Dave hadn’t been killed. That can’t have been of help either.

Dirk continues feeling responsible of what Bro did, saying he needs to take responsibility for all the splinters that are him. It’s hard to understand, a bit. I honestly can’t even start saying how complicated it is to feel like that – but somehow I have the feeling that a lot of people in the world would feel responsible for what their alternates do. I don’t know if I would.

DIRK: I've felt...  DIRK: Haunted by them.  DIRK: And what that really means is, I'm perpetually haunted by my own bad qualities. 

You literally made glasses that are filled with some of your own bad qualities, Dirk. You kinda brought that one to yourself, just saying.

Dave appreciates Dirk’s apologies, even though it feels weird to hear it from someone that isn’t the Bro he knew, which in turn makes Dirk confess that he isn’t even happy with his relationships with his peers – especially with Jake. Well yeah, no surprise there, everything is still a fresh wound. It was just a day ago or so that Jake was telling to other people that he felt suffocated. Who knows, maybe in the future that’ll change! Don’t give up, Dirk.

It’s nice to see that Dave and Dirk are trying to give support to each other despite the trouble they have to connect. It’s clumsy, it’s distant, but they’re trying. It’s more akin to pulling teeth than a heartfelt conversation, buuuuuuut it’s the best the Striders can do.

DAVE: you dont actually seem like a bad person to me though  DIRK: No?  DAVE: nah  DIRK: Why not?  DIRK: We did just meet, after all.  DAVE: because  DAVE: i dunno if truly bad people wrestle so much with whether theyre good or bad 

Dirk is not a bad person. He can be extremely difficult to deal with, but he’s not bad. I’m sure hearing it from Dave will make it resonate more than if he had heard it from anyone else, even if everyone else would be more energetic about telling him that he’s a good person. Dirk isn’t even accepting it from Dave at face value, although he is grateful about it. Everyone else idolized him, after all.

DIRK: She meant well, but was so enamored of me, and seemingly everything I did.  DIRK: Which I think was the last thing I needed.  DIRK: To be idolized in some form by other people I respected.  DIRK: I had enough of that feeling coming from within, particularly when I was younger. 

No wonder Bro ended like that. I really don’t think anyone dared to tell him about his flaws. I suppose that maybe this could be interpreted as a sign that Bro respected Dave, but I’m not going to think that’s correct. That relationship was pretty messed up, after all.

Dave sounds genuinely floored to hear everything his alternate self did in Dirk’s universe, including killing clown presidents and somehow managing to make a million Statues of Liberty. I’m still wrapping my head around that one. Could that have been how things would have gone if the world hadn’t ended horribly? Hm...no. The movies and all were a way to give the Condesce a sucker punch, no Condesce means those concrete movies wouldn’t exist. It’s hard to say what would have happened. Maybe Dave really would have gone into the fields that study dead stuff.

Dirk tried to follow Dave’s perceived good traits. Golly, Dave must have never seen that coming.

DIRK: You get to apply all that potential you showed in one reality to something much bigger and more existentially critical.  DIRK: Whatever strength you showed in trying to save a dying planet, the fact is, I think we need that more here.  DIRK: And the trials inherent in being a part of something like this, I think they bring more out of you than a relatively pedestrian life on Earth would. Make you face more things about yourself. At least, that's been true for me. 

Oh hey, I just realized that this alternate Dave pretty much did everything that’s expected of the Dave we know: fight, resist, and pretty much be a cornerstone of the rebellion against the Condesce. He’s everything Dave doesn’t think he can be. Think about that, Dave.

DIRK: I hope it doesn't come off as overly sentimental garbage, but it seems to me like you turned out to be a really good dude.  DIRK: Like, really, a better sort of dude I ever imagined talking to when I pictured meeting the legendary guy I idolized.  DIRK: I pictured him as probably being "too cool" to be the type of guy you are.  DIRK: But you know what, fuck being too cool for that.

Congratulations, you pretty much punched Dave’s hopes from when he was thirteen years old. It’s for the better. Somehow hearing that Dave is not the “cool” person Dave had once hoped Bro would see him as catches him off-guard. Here we go! This’ll be the turning point for Dave, won’t be it? Things are going to change for him – hopefully! Dave certainly had the big character arc in Homestuck, even if he says people don’t have arcs.

And here we go!

DAVE: its really fucked up of me  DAVE: what im presently doing  DAVE: so  DAVE: sorry about that  DIRK: Oh, y-  DIRK: Yeah.  DIRK: Man.  DIRK: This is some fucked up shit alright.  DAVE: i know

This is much more than I expected. Of all things that could happen, a hug wasn’t even close to the top of the list. This is actually a pretty sweet moment, I’m glad it actually happened. Part of me was sure Hussie wouldn’t show them talking, but he did. I’m glad I was proven wrong about it.

So! There’s only one conversation left before things may kick into overdrive straight towards the last part of Homestuck! Roxy is going to meet Kanaya, surely to give her the matriorb. Things are winding down everywhere else, it won’t be long now!

Roxy appears from the skies with a ‘heeeeeey’ and repeats it a few more times, preparing the surprise by telling her to guess what she brought. I can guarantee that the matriorb is not going to be a guess here, hah!

KANAYA: Is It The Thing Behind Your Back  ROXY: yup but u gotta be more specific  KANAYA: Is It A Little Piece Of Paper That Says Hey On It  ROXY: hahahahaha no but that would be SO FUNNY! 

I won’t lie, I wouldn’t have been surprised if it hadn’t been that. Wish you had thought about it before. Maybe there’s still time to write “I.O.U one (1) matriorb” on any random rock and give it to her...or maybe that’d be cruel. Shrug.

Not wasting any more time, Roxy presents the matriorb, much to Kanaya’s astonishment. She’s so surprised she can barely express her surprise while Roxy tries to explain in vague terms. Look at that, Kanaya has tears in her eyes! It must be hard to describe, the feeling of hope in seeing the way the troll race is going to be resurrected. Keep it away from the Condesce and everything should be fine.

Nobody would have thought that the way to revive the trolls would just be given to her like this, but she can’t complain. There’s a lot of work to do, the mother larva isn’t going to raise itself. There’s a life of duty and work ahead of her.

Where’s Karkaroni, asks Roxy? “Meditating”. With his face deep into the dirt. You’re so lucky you’re telling this to someone Roxy doesn’t know very well, nobody else would believe such answer.

Roxy gets into her role of Rose’s mother and tries to know Kanaya better, asking about the meteor tri, where everybody formed small groups and only convened like twice of three times. It wasn’t the social jamboree Roxy imagined. Could have been worse, Roxy. It was worse once. At least now everyone is more or less getting along and Kanaya is aware she needs Karkaroni’s help so trolls aren’t like in Alternia.

...having doubts about fighting? Well I can understand Kanaya would want to protect the matriorb and that she believes her skills are not as good as everyone else’s, but if the Condesce isn’t defeated that matriorb will only be good as a paperweight. Roxy points all that and tries to give Kanaya encouragement about her skills. Well not many things can beat a chainsaw in power. That’s all enough to convince Kanaya to go with her and prepare for the fight.

Now that all the dialogue options are over, the point of view returns to the dream bubble where Vriska has gone to harass herself. Yeah, don’t ask me why she’s bothering to do this.

Okay, I read one page and I’m already feeling a bit sick. I don’t know how Hussie is doing this, managing to make me dislike Vriska after I spent most of her appearances liking her. In just a few hundred pages he’s managing to make me not want to read her anymore. It’s going to be difficult to write something that isn’t constant grumbling. Well, there’s one thing...

VRISKA: Remem8er when you used to care a8out that sort of thing?  VRISKA: No, o8viously not.  VRISKA: All you care a8out now is 8ullshit hipstery fashion trends, feeling "happy", and... whatever the fuck it is you're doing here?  VRISKA: Frolicking with some horses in an ugly field or some shit. VRISKA: Just a8solutely disgraceful.  VRISKA: How could I have 8ecome so selfish??  VRISKA: You do know this is selfish, right?  VRISKA: This isn't having some fucking "epiphany" or like "growing as a person" or whatever self-serving spin you might 8e putting on what's happening here.  VRISKA: It's just plain narcissism, the worst kind you're capa8le of. A total renunci8tion of any responsi8ility for contri8uting to the gr8ter good.  VRISKA: And it makes me FUCKING SICK. 

...I have no words. Yeah, looking for personal happiness is selfish, but there’s nothing wrong with being reasonably selfish. I just...I can’t say anything about this that isn’t some sort of circular argument that in the end isn’t worth typing here. I just can’t say anything.

VRISKA: Contrary to your lazy fakey "happy" shit, I've ACTUALLY GROWN AS A PERSON.  VRISKA: What do you think of THAT, you frivolous, dithering 8ITCH???????? 

Like hell you did!

Just...agh.

Looks like the dead Vriska wasn’t wrong, the horses really is a bad omen for her. Meenah is leaving her and going with the Vriska that is alive. At least Meenah has the decency to be conflicted about what she’s feeling and all, but damn, what a way to punch someone that’s already down, Hussie.

Meenah likes dead Vriska a lot, and she admits it, but she’s bored of having an idyllic life with dead Vriska. She wants to fight Lord English and here’s the chance to do it. Dead Vriska may have changed, but Meenah is the same than before, and that one isn’t content with sitting on the sidelines. That’s why she’s leaving – more or less.

I feel bad for dead Vriska. It’s almost hard to believe that the end for the character I knew for so long is this – or at least this seems like the end. It feels...weird. I feel really bad for her. I wish this hadn’t gone for this. Heck, Meenah deciding to go fight Lord English would have been understandable. I just wish this whole thing hadn’t needed to happen.

Hm. I think I should be stopping here for now.

Next update: next time