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danses-with-dogmeat · 3 years ago

Note

Ooooo you're doing yandere alphabet stuff!!! If you dont mind, may I add on to that anon's request? When you get to FO4 can you include Glory, Dima, and platonic Father? And when you get to FNV, Ulysses, Graham, Benny, and Yesman?? Thank you! I really liked the FO3 post!

Yandere Headcannons Part 3: Fallout 4 Companions + Extras

So here is the third and final installment to this little series! I hope y'all enjoyed it, and if you want me to add anyone else, of course just lmk :)

Included Below: Cait, Curie, Danse, Deacon, Father, DiMA, Glory, Hancock, Kellogg, MacCready, Nick, Piper, Preston, & X6-88

(Also, sorry if DiMA is completely out of character, I've never met him in-game, and I didn't have time to do as much research as I normally would, but hopefully it's not too obvious 😅)

Here is Part 1 (FO3 Companions)

Here is Part 2 (FONV Companions + Extras)

I hope you enjoy!

Also, just a TW for typical yandere behavior: unhealthy relationships, guilt trips, manipulation, lack of consent, control, allusions to suicide, blood, threats, and mentions of murder ahead!

Cait:

C) Cruelty. How would they treat their darling once abducted? Would they mock them?

She’d only mock them if they were being a baby about it. Sole thinks this is bad? Try being enslaved by raiders, why doncha. She has no sympathy for them at all; whatever it is she’s putting them through, there ain’t no way it’s close to the kinda suffering she went through at the hands of the animals who bought her when she was younger. She doesn’t beat them, even if they deserve it, doesn’t do anythin’ without their consent (though she might complain about it), and they got food, water and shelter under her care. As far as Cait’s concerned, Sole can either shut the fuck up, or thank her for keepin’ them bloody safe.

A) Affection. How do they show their love and affection? How intense would it get?

She’s sort of a “tough love” type gal. Lots of punches to the shoulder, or bumping into them affectionately in public, and some more genuine forms of physical touch in private, like playing with their hair, or hot n’ heavy makeout seshes on the sofa, maybe even massages if they’re feelin’ up to it, but she does require consent first. Especially when it comes to sex. She still likes to be intimate with her partner, and thinks it’s a good release for both of them, and she might grumble about them refusing her and say they’re being ridiculous, but Cait wouldn’t do anything, especially anything sexual, against their will. She knows what that shit is like, and wouldn’t catch herself becoming like the monsters who owned her, under any circumstance.

I) Ideals. What kind of future do they have in mind for/with their darling?

Cait doesn’t tend to look too far ahead. Every time she tries to make a plan, it ends up getting fucked over anyway, so she just tends to go with it, whatever “it” might be. One thing she does know though, she likes Sole. They treated her right, even from the start. No one had ever done that with her before. Even the few people she could say she cared about didn’t ever treat her right. Maybe that’s why she’s done this… Why she needs Sole all to herself. The people she’s cared about… She’s lost all of them, one way or another. That shite’s not gonna happen again, that’s the only thing the lass is certain of.

T) Tears: How do they feel about seeing their darling scream/cry/or isolate themselves?

She wishes she could just clench her jaw and give ‘em a rap over the head to shut ‘em up. Wishes she could be removed from it, uncaring and unaffected, but the truth is, it makes her chest ache. Cait tends to lash out, to raise her voice and tell them to suck it up, if only so she doesn’t have to hear their wailing anymore, so she doesn’t have to see their tears. An’ it’s not ‘cause it annoys her, though that may be how it comes off, but it really hurts her when she thinks they might not want to be with her the way she needs to be with them. Cait may be rough with them when they sniffle and whine, but once they’ve calmed down she always tries to comfort them afterwards, in her own way, at least. She’ll drape an arm around their shoulders, wipe their tears away with a calloused finger, maybe even give their forehead a tender kiss, followed by a whispered apology and a period of silence where she just clings to them and tries to make them understand where she’s coming from. It’s not that Cait doesn’t know why they’re sad, she does. She gets it, she just wishes it wasn’t because of her. Yet still, she can’t seem to let them go.

Curie:

C) Cruelty. How would they treat their darling once abducted? Would they mock them?

Though Curie is clingy and a bit controlling, she doesn’t have a cruel bone in her body. She wouldn’t mock Sole for being upset, and would become upset herself at their negative reaction to being by her side. If she's not cruel, and if she loves them, why wouldn't they want to be with her? Honestly, she just wants to understand what she's doing wrong, and try to be the most ideal companion to her love that she can be.

U) Unique. Would they do anything different from classic yandere?

She’s so much kinder to her beloved than most. She doesn’t understand that what she is doing is wrong. This was how she was always shown affection when it came to being in the vault; the doctors were never unkind to her, necessarily, and she couldn’t possibly be horrible to her companion, it’s just all she knows. It's not imprisonment to her, it's just... living, and though the doctors and her were underground for so long, imprisoned in their own way, it was the time in her life when people were kindest to her, when she had purpose, when she could care for others and know their care in return. It's really all the synth knows.

She wouldn’t try to be manipulative, and she is alright with Sole spending time with others, so long as they always come back to her in the end. She is vastly more loving and considerate than traditional yandere characters, but she does maintain a level of control over her partner, an infatuation and a dependence on them that isn’t present in healthy relationships.

R) Regret. Would they ever feel guilty about abducting their darling? Would they ever let them go?

She doesn’t see that what she’s doing is wrong; therefore, it’s difficult for her to regret any of it. Curie is kind to her love, she’s supportive, and she never leaves their side; how could they be unhappy? If they make their discomfort known to her, she has a hard time understanding it, but she will express apology, and perhaps make it seem as though she regrets her controlling actions, but she’s not sure how honest she’s being when communicating her regret. She’s more just stating what she thinks Sole wants to hear, but again, she doesn’t see her actions as anything worth regretting.

I) Ideals. What kind of future do they have in mind for/with their darling?

Curie tends to have a pre-war, idealized version of the future she would like for her and Sole. Though now she knows that it’s unlikely, or perhaps even impossible, for the pair to have such a life in the current world they live in, Curie is determined to come as close as she can. She feels that her partner deserves some peace after everything they’ve been through, and she wouldn’t mind some for herself either. However, this would be a distant future plan. For now, the synth is content traveling the Commonwealth with her beloved partner at her side, so that she can observe and learn as much as possible.

E) Exposed. How much of their heart do they bear to their darling? How vulnerable are they when it comes to their darling?

She loves speaking with her love about anything and everything, especially if they want to tell her about their difficulties, and their past. Curie tends not to think of her past as being something worth saying much about, though. She stayed in one room for 200 years, most of which she spent in solitude (apart from the mole rats), and what she does recall from her past that involves others only makes her sad. She’d rather hear about Sole’s life, rather than chitter on about her uneventful one, and she’d much rather help with their problems than have to speak at length about her old friends who shared the vault with her all those years ago. However, she’s more than happy to tell Sole often and how much she cares about them.

Danse:

D) Darling. Aside from abduction, would they do anything against their darling’s will?

For the most part, no. Danse believes in respect above all else, and if he expects it from his partner, he'll be damned if he doesn't treat them with it in return. He's emotional, vulnerable and desperate after finding out the truth about himself, but he won't let it cloud his judgement enough to disregard his core values. He just wants Sole near to him. Wherever they want to go, whatever they want to do, as long as it's ethical and in accordance with the ideals he upholds, Danse will be satisfied, just as long as they're by his side.

A) Affection. How do they show their love and affection? How intense would it get?

If Sole isn't comfortable, he won't show his affection for them. It's as simple as that, though, it will always be there. Mostly, Danse gives verbal praise and shows them he cares by tending to their needs. It's more difficult for him to be physically affectionate if he has to initiate, and he won't do so at all if Sole is uncertain about it, but in time, he finds that he likes to spend private moments with his partner wrapped in his arms. Feeling them physically there beside him, being able to touch them and know they're there, it's what he needs more than anything. His time in the Brotherhood left little room for showing affection, especially of the physical sort, and his fears of being utterly alone coupled with the fact that he's been touch starved for the majority of his life have left Danse nervous in the face of intentional physical affection, but nonetheless, in utter need of it. If only in order to feel as though he isn't the cold, hard, synthetic monster he thinks of himself as.

N) Naughty. How would they punish their darling?

He's a soldier, through and through. As such, Danse's punishments would be of a similar sort of consequence as they would have been in the Brotherhood. Physical punishment in the form of exercises, chores and cleaning in purposefully inefficient ways, even writing lines are all disciplinary tactics he would use to his advantage. Danse likes to think that he tries to separate his more Commanding Officer-esque personality traits, from his personal, romantic life, but when it comes to punishment, this is all the ex-Paladin knows.

S) Stigma. What brought about this side of them (childhood, curiosity, etc.)?

His earth shattering identity crises threw his entire perception of reality off kilter. Danse has never witnessed particularly shining examples of proper healthy relationships, which doesn't help in this case, but more so than that, is his utter desperation to not be alone. The stinging betrayal of the closest thing he's ever had to family is still running rampant through his mind and causing an insatiable ache in his synthetic heart. He can't imagine how anyone could possibly pay him any mind after finding out the truth of his identity, but now that Sole has? How the hell could he possibly ever let them go? They're literally all that he has left, and he's clinging to them as desperately as he can without damaging them.

E) Exposed. How much of their heart do they bear to their darling? How vulnerable are they when it comes to their darling?

Danse tends to be matter-of-fact about his vulnerability. He's open with his words and trying to make sense of his own feelings, but he rarely lets himself be vulnerable in a more emotional sense. He'll do his level best at refraining from crying in their presence, and tries not to let his anger or frustration or guilt be expressed in a physical way, and even something as simple as laughter is scarce at the best of times. But his ability with words, and the way he's forced himself to engage in heart to heart conversations over the years, they pay off in the sense that his partner often knows what Danse is thinking, or feeling, but they really do have to take his word for it, because that's likely all they're going to get, unless they initiate their own physical contact.

Deacon:

D) Darling. Aside from abduction, would they do anything against their darling’s will?

Deacon’s “abduction” of Sole is more of a manipulation of their mind than it is a physical imprisonment. He uses his wit and verbal skillset to convince Sole to only trust him, to only depend on him and the causes that he supports. It’s all in their best interest, he tells himself, even as he methodically cuts each of their friends out of their life and takes up more and more of their time until he’s the only one left in their life that they can rely on.

This whole process is against their will, but Deacon cuts everyone out at such a steady rate, takes away their freedoms over a considerable amount of time, and refuses to do anything physical without their consent; he’s so periodic and careful that Sole hardly notices their freedoms being repressed until it’s already done, until even they feel like what Deacon is doing is for the best.

E) Exposed. How much of their heart do they bear to their darling? How vulnerable are they when it comes to their darling?

He’s extremely closed off at first, and even when it does seem like he’s finally opening up to them, he proves himself a liar all over again, at every chance. It’s only after Sole is his, when he has them safely at his side, when there’s nothing left that they could hide from him, that he decides to slowly reveal pieces of his past. It’s difficult, even impossible sometimes, to tell if he’s lying or not, but he knows. It’s no easy thing for him, and it’s rare at best, but slowly, methodically, the spy unravels his story for his beloved, if only so they can understand his actions now, where he’s come from, what he’s gone through, and why he chose them to share his true self with.

A) Affection. How do they show their love and affection? How intense would it get?

He has a hard enough time with affection when his partner is enthusiastic about it, so if Sole refuses him in any way, he’s not even going to consider forcing them. But if they seem into it, and after a good amount of time spent with them, Deacon will become comfortable enough to initiate small forms of physical affection. Mostly it starts off being contact of a silly sort: nose boops, finger holding (as opposed to whole hand-holding), random tickles, head pats, noogies, and the like.

Before anything physical occurs, Deacon will be verbally affectionate by sharing jokes, words of advice, little compliments and such, as a sort of temporary replacement/start to affection of a more physical nature.

C) Cruelty. How would they treat their darling once abducted? Would they mock them?

He throws a few jokes Sole’s way, but they usually have little to do with his manipulation and are just generally used to make them feel inadequate enough that they feel they have to depend on him for their own well-being. Beyond that, Deacon isn’t cruel physically, and his mocking is always humorous enough that they may not realize how much it wears on their self esteem until he’s already got them convinced they can’t survive without him.

O) Oppression. How many rights would they take away from their darling?

This was touched on a bit earlier (See: D), but mostly he just separates them from all other sources of possible emotional support, all friends they’ve made, or what’s left of their family, and he forces them to depend on him for everything they may need in a companion, in a protector, in a friend or a partner. He’s all of it, and because he is, they can’t leave him.

Beyond that, he just ensures that they are passionate about the Railroad’s cause so they both can continue to do their jobs for the faction as a functioning team.

N) Naughty. How would they punish their darling?

Usually he just has a discussion with them. Deacon’s violent tendencies died out after everything with the UP Deathclaws came to a horrific close, and he likes to think of himself as being on the chill side of the majority of wasteland residents. Physical punishments aren’t an option for him, no sir, so he’ll just go about convincing them that what they did was foolish, and that all they need to do is trust him if they want to be happy, and if they want to survive out here.

He'll talk them through their mistakes, make it known to his partner how foolish they were, he'll belittle and gaslight enough to the point that they feel as bad about their misbehaving as Deacon does, and they won't do it again.

DiMA:

D) Darling. Aside from abduction, would they do anything against their darling’s will?

DiMA doesn’t want more from them than just companionship. Someone to share his time with. He’s had that with Nick before, but now… He can’t explain it, but Sole makes him feel whole, like he hasn’t in decades, and just having them near to him is enough. So, he’ll keep them with him in Acadia, and they can learn to be happy here, like so many others, with him at their side. That’s all he wants from them, all he needs is just them, here, at his side. Nothing more. Shouldn't be too hard then, right?

I) Ideals. What kind of future do they have in mind for/with their darling?

He’s always had an ideal future in mind. One where synths are safe, where they can live in peace, unbothered, and untouched; he wants the same future for his Sole. He wants them here with him, always. He wants them to feel safe, to be happy, to care for him in a way no one really has before. DiMA doesn’t know much of love, he’ll admit. It’s always been more of a concept than a feeling to him, but with Sole, he’d like to imagine he could one day know what it feels like to love, and be loved in return.

M) Mask. Are their true colors drastically different from the way they act around everyone else?

He tries to be honest about himself, even to newcomers, it’s how he’s established trust with his allies, how he’s been the leader of Acadia with so much success over so many years, and so he is as honest with Sole as he can be. When they brought Nick to him, he could not have been more grateful, and for that, they deserve his genuinity.

A) Affection. How do they show their love and affection? How intense would it get?

DiMA tells Sole his stories, regales the tales of acquiring Arcadia, of befriending the co-founders, of being in the Institute with Nick, of escaping, of trying to balance the well-being of his own people with the peace of those around him. He also gives praise, often telling Sole how much they mean to him, how grateful he is for their assistance, for bringing his brother back to him, for being there for him. A hand on the shoulder, a pat on the back, pressing his forehead to theirs are all ways that he shows them he cares for them. Perhaps too, if they are willing, if they’d like to try more traditional forms of affection, he knows his body is strange, after all of the alterations, the attachments, but if Sole takes the initiative in response to his kindness towards them, if they should hug him, or perhaps even give him a kiss, DiMA won’t exactly know how to react, but he’ll be grateful. He’s never really felt human before, and he hasn’t had to. He’s a synth, and proud of it, he doesn’t have any delusions about being like Sole is, but he doesn’t feel like he has to, especially if they treat him in such a way. It’s comforting to him, to be seen as human, even if he knows he’s not.

Father (Platonic):

F) Fight. How would they feel if their darling fought back?

It would just make the older man less sympathetic. He sees their reluctance as immature, and the more dramatic they are with their resistance, the less stock he takes in their reactions to his behavior. He thinks of them as being dramatic.

After all, Shaun was forcibly taken at a young age, and raised in the comfort of the Institute. He knows what it's like, and he knows that, if anything, he’s doing his parent a favor. If they don’t recognize that, he doesn’t know how to help them. The Institute is far superior to the surface world, they're safe here, they can build a new life, they can be happy, as he's been all this time. Why are they overreacting this way? It's not like there's anyone left on the surface that they care for, everyone they know, besides him, is long gone. They should be relieved to have him in their life, to start anew in a place where they can remain happy and healthy for years to come.

He’ll try to give them explanations to help them make sense of his actions, if they aren’t too hysterical, and he does want Sole in his life, so he won’t be completely emotionless, but Shaun would much prefer to have a conversation with them rather than try and calm their frantic actions.

A) Affection. How do they show their love and affection? How intense would it get?

Shaun doesn’t show affection in the way most do, but he does want to communicate his desire to rekindle some sort of relationship with his parent. Mostly, Shaun’s forms of affection are shown through actions rather than physical touch, or even words. He’ll ensure his parent is comfortable where they are staying, that they are provided for, and that they feel valued in the society that he is in charge of. However, he does occasionally try to tell his parent their value to him personally, but he’s admittedly not great at it. Physical expressions of affection may be uncomfortably returned, but Shaun wouldn’t initiate.

T) Tears: How do they feel about seeing their darling scream/cry/or isolate themselves?

This is similar to the fighting point. If they are hysterical, Shaun’s sympathy level will be low at best, but he does have a bit more of an emotional reaction if Sole’s own behavior is subdued and despondent. Of course he doesn’t enjoy seeing his parent cry, but he has a hard time understanding their despair. If they’re reserved about it, he will sit and try to talk them through what’s bothering them, or point them in Dr. Volkert's direction for professional help. Shaun does often have a difficult time empathizing with Sole, given the differences in perspective, upbringing, and circumstance, but for them, he really does try.

H) Hell. What would be their darling’s worst experience with them?

Sole may never get the chance to return to the surface again. Beyond that, Shaun isn’t particularly cruel, and Sole is well cared for within the Institute, but their freedom is remarkably oppressed.

E) Exposed. How much of their heart do they bear to their darling? How vulnerable are they when it comes to their darling?

Shaun doesn’t tend to be open with his feelings, it’s simply not the way things are in the Institute, but for his parent? He’s more open than with most. Sole doesn’t know Shaun, not as the director, not as a person, and sadly, not even as their son; which is actually liberating for him. With Sole, he can voice certain ideas, concerns, or dreams of his that might otherwise be controversial, or things that he never got to act on, based on his role in the Institute. He enjoys speaking with them, but rarely does the conversation become heartfelt in the way Sole might want.

While Sole might be searching for an apology from their son, some sign that he wishes his upbringing might be different, that he wants to work towards a loving relationship with his parent with the limited time they have left, he rarely obliges these wishes. Mostly, he dismisses the idea, stating that it is all in the past, that there’s nothing that can be done to change it, and though he may seek to have some type of relationship with Sole before his illness claims him, he’s not as sentimental about the idea. He sees their relationship as a practicality now. What they could have had is something based on thin air and futile wishes of being able to go back and change the way things are now by altering the past, but Shaun knows that can never happen, and he knows that Sole is aware of that fact as well. He’ll express that if things were different, he may still have been happy, but for now, there’s nothing either of them can do to alter their positions.

R) Regret. Would they ever feel guilty about abducting their darling? Would they ever let them go?

He doesn’t see his actions as anything worth regretting. His parent should be thanking him for allowing them into this faction, for protecting them from the harsh brutishness of the outside world, he shouldn’t have to apologize for going out of his way to help them… Though, perhaps the way he went about it could have been more mindful when it came to his parent’s comfort level.

Later, but before his death, Shaun will think back on how little he had revealed to them early on, how he wasn’t exactly dishonest, but he certainly wasn’t transparent, and though he won’t regret what he did, he may apologize to Sole for the strife he may have unintentionally caused.

Glory:

G) Game. Is this a game to them? How much would they enjoy watching their darling escape?

It’s not a game, it's a goddamn mission. If Sole leaves her side, Glory assumes they’re in trouble. It’s the kinda mindset you have when you’re a part of the Railroad, and especially if you’re an escaped synth. If she wakes up and they’re gone, she’s going on a fucking hunt for them, and when she finds them, she’s not letting them out of her sight for a solid week, and she’s sure to let them know how much they worried her when they were gone. The Railroad heavy will threaten and guilt trip Sole until they never leave her side again, and she’ll be serious as hell, all throughout.

L) Love Letters. How would they go about courting or approaching their darling?

It starts off with a lot of talk. Whenever Sole comes to HQ, the heavy seems to be waiting for them, ready to strike up a conversation, to talk about their last mission, and hers, to brag about her accomplishments, and tell Sole how badass they are, even compared to her. Heart to hearts occur pretty often as well, wherein she tells Sole how grateful she is for having them in the faction, tells them what a difference they’ve made, and how they’ve certainly taken some of the load off of her shoulders.

After the talking comes the companionship. She offers to go on missions with them, even when they can tell that it’s behind Desdemona’s back, or against the Railroad leader's wishes. When they are out on missions together, Glory likes to show off her skills as a heavy, and compliments Sole on their own accomplishments out in the field. The praise leads to a bit of flirting that tends to come off as a joke, just some teasing from one agent to the next, but they become more serious the more that Sole responds to them.

O) Oppression. How many rights would they take away from their darling?

She takes away bits of their free will slowly, almost methodically, and she doesn’t even notice she’s doing it until it gets out of hand. Glory starts by ensuring she goes with Sole on every mission, she keeps them from having other companions, or working with other agents, and slowly but surely takes up more and more of their time until they can say that Glory is really their only friend.

She wouldn’t ever keep them from helping the Railroad, the faction and its ideals are just too important to her, but all of their missions go through her, and are completed with her assistance. That’s non-negotiable.

R) Regret. Would they ever feel guilty about abducting their darling? Would they ever let them go?

She wouldn’t really see it as abducting, per say. Glory does allow them a good bit of freedom, just so long as she’s involved, and so, it’s unlikely she’d ever regret it.

If Sole really gave her a piece of their mind, if they stood up to her and let Glory know how much she was hurting them, how much she was stifling their freedoms, she might feel bad for a bit, especially considering her background, and her own familiarity with repressed freedoms, but once she spends some time considering their words, she really has a hard time seeing fault in her own actions. She cares about Sole, so of course she always spends time with them. Glory can protect her partner like no one else can, they share so many of the same views and goals, they have the same goddamn job, where else is she supposed to go? How else is she supposed to treat her partner? They need to get their priorities in order, cuz Glory knows where she stands.

Y) Yearn. How long do they pine for their darling before they snap?

Glory takes an interest in the vault dweller from the start, but it’s not until they’ve completed a few missions that she can’t keep them off her mind. The big one was their first mission together. After that, after Sole's badassery and the witty banter they exchanged, she felt inseparable from them. The pair worked so well together, how could she not want to spend every damn mission with them? They fuckin’ killed it together. After that, there was no way she was letting them go out without her, she was stuck on ‘em for good.

Hancock:

H) Hell. What would be their darling’s worst experience with them?

Hancock has a tendency to be a little unpredictable at times, and his possessiveness of Sole would only make his actions more rash. He doesn’t like to take away their freedoms, doesn’t like to take advantage of them; it goes against everything the ghoul stands for. But, he will do what he must to keep them beside him. He’s not cruel to them, he loves his Sole with everything inside of him, but… If anyone should stand between him and them, even if their own actions seek to tear them from him, he won’t tolerate it. He’s patient enough with them, but everyone has a breaking point.

A) Affection. How do they show their love and affection? How intense would it get?

He’s almost unaware of the amount of affection, (physical, verbal, or otherwise) he seems to shower his partner in. It’s just so natural for the ghoul to show his appreciation for them in that way, and though he’s conscious to Sole’s own limits, if Hancock had his way, he’d have his hands on them at all times. Long hugs, wandering hands, deep kisses and just staring in admiration are all almost constant when the ghoul is at his partner’s side. And now that he finally has his way, he always will be.

N) Naughty. How would they punish their darling?

Mostly it’s just words of warning for him, especially at first, but as he and Sole spend more time together, he will take away some of their rights as well, if he sees fit. Contact with others is already limited, but anything that Sole usually dabbles in will be cut off for a time, be it alcohol, chems, or free time out in the open. Really though? Most of them are empty threats. Hancock is no softie, he’s killed men for looking at him the wrong way if he felt they deserved it, but for Sole? Well, for them there’s an exception.

C) Cruelty. How would they treat their darling once abducted? Would they mock them?

Nah, he has no interest in making them more miserable. Just Sole being there with him is enough. Hancock knows he’s not really much of a catch, despite what he tries to present himself as, so he considers that sacrifice enough from Sole. He’ll separate them from others, maybe take away a few of their freedoms if he’s really upset with them, but really, he just wants them, and he loves them more than anything. How could he ever be cruel to the one he cares for so much?

O) Oppression. How many rights would they take away from their darling?

As mentioned in H and C, Hancock really doesn’t like to fuck with Sole’s freedoms, it just doesn’t sit right with him, with all that he stands for, all that he preaches. But if it’s absolutely necessary, he’ll take some away as a form of punishment. Really though, the ghoul is content if Sole stays by his side, if they remain his and his alone, that’s all he cares about. He’s never felt this way about anyone before, and certainly never found anyone as good as Sole that wanted him in return, and he’s not risking what they have for anything, even if it means he has to go against his core principles once in a while to keep it that way.

C) -- Darling. Aside from abduction, would they do anything against their darling’s will?

Hancock may be a ghoul, but he’s no monster. He’s not going to force anything on the one he loves. He’s convinced they feel some affection for him, but until they give the word that it’s okay, he won’t go beyond their boundaries physically. He may push some chems their way, or suggest having a drink or two, and he may separate them from anyone else that he knows can’t care for them the way he does, just to make them feel closer to him, feel less inhibitions, but he doesn’t force anything on them.

K) Kisses. How do they act around or with their darling?

Oh, anyone who can see the pair, even from a distance, knows that this ghoul is absolutely head over heels for Sole. If his lips aren’t on them, then his arms are around them. If his arms aren’t around them, then his hands are on them. If his hands aren’t on them, then he can’t tear his ogling gaze from them. He smiles for them, laughs for them, orders their food and drinks, and makes sure they’re always comfortable and safe. Even if Hancock does have to sacrifice his own ideals a bit, if he has to take away some of his partner’s free will, he still ensures that with him, they are well-cared for, that everyone (especially Sole) knows how much he loves them, and how he’d never let anything happen to them, so help him.

Kellogg:

K) Kisses. How do they act around or with their darling?

Kellogg changes quite a bit with time. At first, it’s all about possession. He’s aggressive with his partner, he keeps a wary eye on them, grasps their arm tightly in his grip as they walk, stands much too close for comfort. When they’re intimate, he’s rough with the way he takes them, marking and bruising as he conquers their body with his.

Later though, as he allows himself to become more disillusioned, he tries to act more like a proper partner, like he was with Sarah… Despite the fact that Sole is only there by force. He knows they despise him, deep down, he’ll always know that, but… Maybe the two of them don’t have to act that way. Maybe Conrad can get some small semblance of that life he knew he never deserved, but that he was so close to having all those years ago. With Sole, maybe he can play family again. Isn’t that something they would want as well? After all they lost?

E) Exposed. How much of their heart do they bear to their darling? How vulnerable are they when it comes to their darling?

At first? Not at all. Most days, Kellogg wishes he could forget his own past, Sole has no need to hear that sob story. No, he’s very reserved in the early stages.

When they've 'been together' for awhile, he may start to open up though. Particularly on the softer nights, when they’ve both had a few drinks (Sole more so than him, he’s still worried about them trying to leave him if he lets his guard down), laying beside each other in the afterglow of a union not quite as rough as they used to be, he may let slip something sentimental or sweet about his family from before. While they’re walking around the Commonwealth, he may mumble about some memory of growing up on the west coast, and eventually Sole will have enough information to get a clear picture of his life, but it definitely comes in bits and pieces that they'll need to sort out.

L) Love Letters. How would they go about courting or approaching their darling?

Sole did all the work for him, really. Came right into his clutches, as willingly as one can. Though, maybe they didn’t expect that he’d take such a liking to them. Nor did he, though.

Sole had always intrigued him, from the moment he saw them in their freezer. When he first started thinking about them, it just never stopped. Even when Sole chased him down, when they were spitting and cursing and their face was bunched up into a defiant snarl, that only made him more interested. He couldn’t believe the fight this pre-war suburban family-type had in them. After that meeting, there was no courting, no following them, no second-guessing himself. It ended there.

It was easy, holding their kid over their head like that, holding the information of where the Institute was and how to get there from them, their desperate eyes promising they’d do anything for the knowledge he had. Yes, it was easy after that, and so long as they knew that he had access to their son, that he could reach Shaun and they couldn’t, so long as they knew Kellogg was mad enough not to make idle threats about the safety of their child, Sole simply had to stay by his side. Or else.

L) – (M) Mask. Are their true colors drastically different from the way they act around everyone else?

Kellogg really is a simple man at heart. He is who he is, as unpleasant as that man may be. If anything, he can sometimes be softer with Sole than he is on the surface, but only when they are bending to his will, allowing him to remain beside them with just the right amount of fight in their actions, submitting, but with their teeth clenched and a glint in their eye, that’s when he chooses to show that softer side. That man that he wasn't, but that he once thought he had the capability to become. Conrad always knew he was a tough fucker, a mercenary, a killer, but when he’d had his family, the people he didn’t deserve, he became disillusioned, thinking his life could be anything but what it is now. Though… with Sole, maybe he can try to pretend once more. If only for a little while.

O) Oppression. How many rights would they take away from their darling?

Most everything. What the hell do they have left to lose, anyway? Everyone they love is gone, everywhere they could go has changed, the world isn’t safe, it isn’t theirs anymore. No, now it’s his. And so are they. Sole has no need for anyone else. Why would they? He can protect them, care for them, keep them in line and off the cruel streets. Hell, maybe one day he’ll even take them to the Institute... Maybe.

For now though, they stick by his side, they remain with him and have minimal contact with anyone else. They show too much friendliness to some stranger, and Kellogg’s liable to end that conversation in a most gruesome way. What the hell else could they need? Who else could they need? Nah, they’re sticking by him, doing as he says and as he wants until the day their escape is successful, and if it isn’t? Well then, ‘till the day he dies or gets tired of them, whichever comes first.

G) Game. Is this a game to them? How much would they enjoy watching their darling escape?

He’d like his partner having a bit of fight in them. It’s thrilling in a way, but it’s also… cute, endearing. They really think they have the capability of escaping from him? Really? Fine, let them try, let them realize the hard way that that isn’t the case. Kellogg would like to play their game for a time, mess with their mind, let them think they've gotten away for good this time, and then, at the last second, he’d foil their plans and make it clear that he’s known their intentions as long as they had them in that pretty little head of theirs. Kellogg can be cruel, especially at the beginning. As he grows more attached to his partner though, over time, it becomes less entertaining, less endearing to him, and he’ll put a stop to it, even if he has to take drastic measures.

G) – H) Hell. What would be their darling’s worst experience with them?

Well, the day they met wasn’t great… Though, there have been some certainly rough days since. Kellogg is a ruthless mercenary, he’s violent and unpredictable, but he’s also remarkably calm. He’d be able to tear Sole’s life to pieces, to cut down any remaining loved ones who might seek to help safeguard them from him, and he’ll do it without so much as blinking an eye. He’s cold, so even when Sole has no other choice but to turn to him for comfort, when Kellogg is all they have left, he’s void of sympathy. That’s the greatest hell of all for Sole. Everything that he took from them, everything he's done to destroy their life, and yet... he will never apologize, never regret what he’s done, at least, as far as they can tell. Kellogg's been through that very same shit, and it hurt, but he made it through, and Sole will too. He'll make sure of that. Whether they want to or not.

MacCready:

M) Mask. Are their true colors drastically different from the way they act around everyone else?

MacCready tends to be pretty blatant and honest, but sometimes his actions are more over-exaggerated when he’s with Sole. Though, it’s only because he cares so much. When he was with the gunners, he couldn’t be vulnerable or emotional, he couldn’t talk about Duncan, or Lucy, or his childhood, he had to be as stoic and ruthless as he could, just to fit in with those bastards. Now though, he feels like he can open up, show his true colors to his partner, even if they’re overexaggerated or ugly. That’s what partners are for though, right? They help you to find the best version of yourself, and they put up with the worst. If he can’t be real with them, then he can’t be real at all.

A) Affection. How do they show their love and affection? How intense would it get?

It’s a bit difficult for MacCready to get used to affection again, he hasn’t been intimate in any sort of tender sense with anyone since his late wife, and initiating at first feels like some sort of betrayal.

Later though, as he grows more used to it, once he has that little heart to heart with Sole about their own feelings of guilt regarding their late spouse, MacCready finds it within himself to start being more physically affectionate with his partner. He still is more tentative than most, and so he tends not to force anything on Sole if they’re clear about not wanting it, but if they tolerate him, or even reciprocate, MacCready likes to rest an idle hand on them and steal kisses throughout the day. He’s young, and he’s in love again, so the more comfortable he grows, the more touchy-feely he gets.

C) Cruelty. How would they treat their darling once abducted? Would they mock them?

The merc isn’t one to hold back on the occasional mockery, he pokes fun at them, and makes rude comments every once in a while, but he wouldn’t say he’s cruel. If Sole thinks he’s bad, they should’ve seen the gunners, that shi-, that crap was cruel.

He’d be firm about certain rules, and might raise his voice or knock over some inconsequential items in his state of frustration at Sole’s potential lack of compliance, but he wouldn’t hurt them physically. He’s lost one person due to his own negligence, he’s not going to be the cause of hurting, or losing, another. He can’t.

C) -- Fight. How would they feel if their darling fought back?

He’d be frustrated as hell. Why did they feel the need to resist him? He cares about them, they opened up to him, he thought they cared for him too! If that’s the case, why are they being so difficult?! MacCready blames it on their own feelings of guilt. He knows what it’s like to feel bad about being able to move on after losing the one you love, but it’s what their late spouses would’ve wanted, right? Can’t Sole see that? Them being together… it’s what’s right. They’re two sides of the same coin, two halves of a whole, they have so much in common; and he understands their reservations, but they can’t let that part of them win. One day they’ll see it his way, one day they’ll forgive themselves for moving on, and then they can be together, and he’ll never have to worry about them running from him, or refusing him like this again.

R) Regret. Would they ever feel guilty about abducting their darling? Would they ever let them go?

He doesn’t see a reason to feel guilty, they both love each other, right? He’s doing this for both of them. Sole cares for him, they said so, this is what they want, they’re just a little confused right now, but that makes sense. After everything they’ve been through, they just need some time to move past it, MacCready gets it, and he’ll be there with them the whole way through. He knows that every time they come to him, admitting that they’re unhappy, or accusing him of being controlling, it’s really stemming from their own insecurities about their feelings for him, but he can be patient for the one he loves. They just need time.

E) Exposed. How much of their heart do they bear to their darling? How vulnerable are they when it comes to their darling?

MacCready likes opening up to someone. He finally feels like he can, so he’s very vulnerable with them, more so than anyone he’s ever met, ever been with. Sole knows his past better than even Lucy did, and he likes it that way. Maybe if they see the way he opens up to them, how honest he is about his background, about his feelings, they’ll feel more inclined to be honest with him, to open up on their own and let him be there for them, the way they’ve been for him all these months.

A) -- Blood. How messy are they willing to get when it comes to their darling?

He’s killed over some of the smallest things. Killed for caps, killed for his family, killed for strangers with a contract, even killed over a spilled drink one bad night; killing for Sole would be easy. Spilling his own blood might be a little more difficult, and he would never put Duncan in harm’s way, but MacCready’s almost died for Sole before, just as they have for him. There’s no bond stronger than one like that, so if it comes to it, he’ll bleed for them, he’d kill for them, and if he thought Duncan was safe, that he would be looked after, MacCready would even die for his Sole.

D) Darling. Aside from abduction, would they do anything against their darling’s will?

MacCready has a hard time seeing it as “against their will,” since they were so open with him at the start. Now, he feels as though their hesitation is just a result of their own self-condemnation, and he feels bad for them. He empathizes, he really does, but at some point, they both deserve to move on, to be happy.

Unless Sole is very blatant about Mac crossing a line, he won’t even know he’s doing it, so he may end up taking away a few rights, or doing something Sole doesn’t want without even realizing it. He tries to be considerate of their feelings, but MacCready often deludes himself into thinking they don’t know what they want, or what’s best for them, but he gets it, he’s been there, and he wants to guide them through it, even if at first they seem unhappy. He knows it’ll all be for the best in the end.

Y) Yearn. How long do they pine for their darling before they snap?

He honestly doesn’t think much of Sole at first, just another boss, another job. But maybe there was a little something extra to them��but he’d tried not to linger on it. This was caps, nothing more. After they helped him with the gunners, and he learned more about their past though, he was hooked. The two of them have so much in common, and they’re not an assho-- a jerk, like literally everyone else he’s met in the wasteland (except Lucy). So, how could he not fall for them?

After that, his mind was made up. He made his confession, and they admitted they felt similarly, and that was the happiest day of his life. He had someone to love again, someone to live for by his side, someone who cares about him. All he needed now was Duncan, then they could be happy. And once Sole found Shaun, they could all be a family. It’s everything MacCready's has ever wanted.

Nick:

N) Naughty. How would they punish their darling?

He would mostly give punishments just by taking away some of their freedoms. If they want to act unruly, then he’ll just have to be sure to keep a better eye on them. Nick’s also big on lectures, making Sole feel as though he’s the victim in the situation, for having to deal with their horrible behavior when all he’s trying to do is look out for their safety. Usually he’ll sulk for a bit, and give them an exasperated sigh or two when they speak and after a day he’ll be gracious enough to forgive them. Nick makes it so that Sole doesn’t want to disobey him. Not with violent actions or shouted profanities, but with his own disappointment and clear distaste for their own actions when all he does is look out for their well-being.

I) Ideals. What kind of future do they have in mind for/with their darling?

Nick has just craved companionship for his entire existence. The flesh and blood Nick had Jenny, and that was the happiest he remembered being, and that wasn’t even him. Helping others brought synth Nick as much joy as he thought he would be capable of, but once he met Sole… What he thought was happiness was just blown out of the water. He wanted to be with them all of the time, didn’t want to lose this feeling, no matter what it takes.

He loves being around them, talking with them, being romantic with them, having the opportunity to feel more human than he ever has, and that’s all he wants. Maybe marriage is in the cards eventually, but if they just remain together, Nick doesn’t need a certificate to prove that he’s in love with them. As long as Sole sticks by him, he couldn’t care less what his future holds. Ideally, he would continue to help people with them as his partner throughout, and they can live a long and happy life together until a time Sole feels like retiring, then he’ll remain by their side until… Well, let’s not think of “untils” quite yet. They have a long way to go until then.

C) Cruelty. How would they treat their darling once abducted? Would they mock them?

Nick isn’t a cruel man. He wouldn’t make the situation worse by making life hell for his partner, or by bad-mouthing them for their ignorance or misplaced trust, in truth, he wishes they hadn’t been so kind to him, shown him their capacity to love him, a capacity almost no one else shared. Then, maybe, he could’ve let them be. Now though, he needs them. They’re the only ones he can really relate to, the only ones from his time, the only ones with the capacity to love him despite what he is, and they, their relationship, needs to be protected. They don’t belong out here in the post-apocalyptic Commonwealth, and he wants to provide some semblance of familiarity if he can, to the life they knew before. How can he, out in the open, in the wastes? No, they have to be here for him, with him, if he is going to pull off this trick.

K) Kisses. How do they act around or with their darling?

Nick acts as though nothing is out of the ordinary. Sure, he’s more controlling than most, and Sole doesn’t really have the option to leave him, but he’ll be damned if he doesn’t make them want to stay by his side all of the time regardless. He’s romantic, taking them out to dinner and bringing them flowers, taking long moonlit walks and giving soft kisses in the candlelight. He’s supportive, being the first to help them when they're in need, giving advice and pats on the back, being a shoulder to cry on and their voice of reason.

Nick wants them to be happy. Wants them to feel what he does when he’s with them. He loves Sole more than he thought was possible, and he makes sure they know that. It’s why they can’t leave, after all. After being this happy, after knowing someone so kind, so gentle, someone he can relate to, someone he has the capacity to love, how could he ever choose to be away from them?

Piper:

P) Patience. How patient are they with their darling?

It depends on the day for Piper. For the most part, she tends to be patient with Sole, she loves them and has had plenty of practice with her little sister on being more tolerant, no matter her mood at the time. However, she’s only human. If Piper is having a bad day, she’s bound to be more short with her love than usual. Especially if they are the cause of her rotten mood, Piper might raise her voice with them or take away a few of their privileges, as though they were a child of Nat's age, but she’s not likely to do much more than that.

I) Ideals. What kind of future do they have in mind for/with their darling?

Piper has never had an issue with her own independence, or with taking care of Nat on her own, but she does admit, the idea of having a companion to share her life with, one that will stick by her side, who she can depend on under pressure, who understands what it's like to be responsible for someone else's care… That doesn’t sound too bad. She’s not asking for much, she just wants their attention, their presence, their know-how as a parent, their support, then she could imagine herself sharing a life with someone, with Sole. They’re just… They’re perfect. It’s not Piper’s fault that they fit every bit of criteria she had for a romantic partner, so if they don’t like it, she’s sorry, but, people like Sole are impossible to find nowadays, and they just don’t get that, do they?

She doesn’t want much, she just wants them. She wants to be able to have a family, to have someone to navigate this world with, so she can have time to write and focus on her career without having to drag Nat into every little aspect of her life. She wants someone to help her, so that she can help Nat. That’s not too much to ask, is it?

P) -- Quit: If their darling dies, leaves, or successfully escapes, would they ever be able to move on?

Maybe she could move on if they just escaped. It’d be difficult, but if they felt that strongly about it, and she never saw them again, Piper could move on. It would take a long time though, and relationships just wouldn’t be in the cards for her anymore. If Sole died though… Man, she would go on, she would have to. For Nat’s sake, but she wouldn’t want to. She’d get even more lost in her writing, maybe have a few years of stories that hardly anyone could decipher, she might even separate herself from Nat, having her sister live with Nick or Ellie for awhile while she sorts herself out, afraid that what she’s become could rub off on the one she loves most, the only one left. Piper couldn’t do that to Nat.

After a few years though, the pain would start to dull. She would still pour herself into her stories, but her research would be well done and well founded now, she would be a bit more stable, and finally she would write her own obituary to the one she loved, before finally letting it go, bringing Nat back to live with her, and making the changes necessary to be the proper role model for her sister. So that Nat will never have to endure the pain of loss that Piper felt, and the regret that still haunts her for her treatment of Sole when they were by her side.

E) Exposed. How much of their heart do they bear to their darling? How vulnerable are they when it comes to their darling?

It takes Piper a long time to open up and show Sole her vulnerable side. She’s really more comfortable at the receiving end of that sort of thing, but she does eventually let them in. The reporter may beat around the bush a bit though, whether she means to or not. It’s just difficult for her to open up too much. If Sole does so a bit on their own, it will prompt her to feel more comfortable more quickly though, and really, she loves talking about Nat.

Opening up about her past allows Piper a moment of distraction from what’s happening between her and Sole. She knows that she cares for them, and she knows their relationship is probably unhealthy, but the more she seeks their comfort, the more she hears about their past and reveals bits of her own, the more she realizes how perfect they are for one another.

R) Regret. Would they ever feel guilty about abducting their darling? Would they ever let them go?

She would regret it, and some nights when she knows they're unhappy, when they open up and are honest with her, she may come close to letting them go. But then she thinks about it. About how perfect they are, how they’re everything she’s ever needed in a partner, how she'll never be able to find someone that compares to them, how they met and felt that instant connection, how Sole woke from their ice nap at this exact year, this exact time, just so they could meet her. There’s no way all of that could be by coincidence, and Piper can’t let them slip away, not when it’s so clear they’re meant to be together.

Preston:

P) Patience. How patient are they with their darling?

He tends to be very patient with them. In all honesty, Preston is patient with everyone, and his darling is certainly no exception. However, that doesn’t mean he doesn’t lose it occasionally with them. The minuteman’s checkered past has left him with a temper in his moments of desperation, and there are certain actions that Sole may take that he will not put up with. If they become violent towards him, or any innocent people, he won’t be happy.

Generally his show of impatience comes with the accompaniment of a raised voice and, if they really push him, a physical response, such as striking a wall or kicking at some junk he found on the ground. He would never hurt Sole, or anyone else unless they were being dangerous, and it really takes a lot for him to get to the point of shouting, despite all he’s been through, but he will go there, if he feels he must.

R) Regret. Would they ever feel guilty about abducting their darling? Would they ever let them go?

All the time. Every day he would consider whether or not what he did was in their best interest, or only in his. If they expressed unhappiness, he would feel extraordinarily guilty, and would constantly second-guess his own actions towards them, and the way he restricts their freedoms in a way he knew was wrong. But Sole saved him. Until he repays their debt he can’t leave their side, and even then…

They make him so happy, he loves them, and feels as though he can’t live without them. He wished he didn’t go to such drastic measures, but he’s never loved anything like he loves Sole, and if he lost them… Preston doesn’t think he could move on from that.

E) Exposed. How much of their heart do they bear to their darling? How vulnerable are they when it comes to their darling?

He tries to be honest with them, hoping his sincerity and desperation keeps them “willingly” by his side (don’t tell him that that’s manipulation). So, he often lets them know how important they are to him, how he couldn’t live without them, he’s honest about his past experiences and struggles, and he always makes sure they know that without their aid, he never would have made it out of Concord, or out of the spiral of guilt and grief that followed Quincy.

S) Stigma. What brought about this side of them (childhood, curiosity, etc.)?

Sheer desperation, and the need to survive. Preston knows that his behavior is unhealthy, that his dependency on his partner isn’t fair, but he doesn’t know what else to do. All he knows is that without Sole, he would be dead. So they have to stay by his side, it’s an instinct, it’s a necessity, a survival tactic, he doesn’t know where it came from, but he knows he needs Sole in his life, whether it’s healthy or not. He feels horrible, and maybe one day things will change, but for now, this feels like the only option in the world.

T) Tears. How do they feel about seeing their darling scream/cry/or isolate themselves?

It breaks his heart. Most nights he catches them like this, Preston curls up at their side (if they let him) and pulls them in tight, shedding his own tears and spilling a slew of apologies to them as he holds them close and wipes their cheeks dry with a gentle hand. He doesn’t want this either, doesn’t want to hurt them, and he doesn’t understand how he could make someone he loves this much, so incredibly unhappy. He wishes there was another way, and he tells them this, even as his grip tightens on their body at the thought of losing them.

O) Oppression. How many rights would they take away from their darling?

Preston just wants them by his side. As long as they are helping the people of the Commonwealth, taking their responsibilities as General into account, and he’s with them, the minuteman is satisfied. That’s all he requires. Sole can speak to others, they can go where they please, eat and drink what they wish, take rests whenever they want, he just needs to be there with them through it all.

N) Naughty. How would they punish their darling?

He wouldn’t, he couldn’t. Guilt trips are his only form of ammunition against his love. If Sole leaves him, they may never see him again. They are his will to live, wrapped up in one gorgeous person is his entire willpower to keep going; if they leave, they take that willpower with them. Their only punishment is living with their decision if they leave him, living with the consequences, living without him.

X6-88:

X) Xoanon. How much would they revere or worship their darling? To what length would they go to win their darling over?

X6 thinks Sole is just about the best thing that’s happened to the Institute since Shaun arrived and they began the process of creating Gen 3 Synths. He reveres them more than he has anyone else and is more devoted to them than he would ever like to admit. But romance-wise, he’s not sure he’s a good fit for Sole. He’s not even human, how could he ever care for them properly, in the way the director of the Institute deserves? He struggles with it for a long time before deciding that he cannot rest until Sole is his. Whatever they need, he has the ability to provide, all he needs are the proper circumstances and he believes he does have the capacity to be what is best for them.

6) -- Fight. How would they feel if their darling fought back?

It would annoy him more than anything. X6 is fully capable of restraining them, and Sole is aware of this. Why they would try to escape him, he doesn’t know; and why they would put in the effort to actually fight him on it, he can’t pretend to understand, but X6 will be able to put an end to it soon enough. He’ll make it known to them how ridiculous it is that they are trying to fight back, in both the way he easily seems to manhandle them, and in the way his unamused voice growls out in warning.

8) -- Hell. What would be their darling’s worst experience with them?

X6 doesn’t tolerate anyone else taking up Sole’s attention. As far as he’s concerned, if you’re not the Institute, Shaun, or himself, you have no right to occupy Sole’s space physically or mentally. His control will go so far as to remove these human obstacles from the equation of Sole’s life. Permanently, if need be.

8) -- Stigma. What brought about this side of them (childhood, curiosity, etc.)?

The courser has had little to no reference for proper societal behavior for his entire existence. He’s not meant to have the feelings that Sole inspires, he’s never felt them before, and he has no idea how he’s meant to react, but if X6 is anything, he’s intense, and absolutely relentless. He puts his everything into whatever he’s doing, it’s what he’s always done, always been encouraged to do, so why would now be different?

A part of him understands that what he’s doing, how he’s acting, isn’t normal, and it certainly isn’t proper, given that he’s a synth and Sole is human. A very important human, at that, but he feels so strongly about Sole, he doesn’t know how else to express it. Even if it is wrong, if acting otherwise means giving up Sole, X6 doesn’t want to be right.

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tojikai · 3 years ago

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Omg PM IV!!!!! Thank you for the tag! Amazing as usual! It's very hot here in the UK, so I was literally laying in my bed crying due to the heat. Me toes and tits sweating off and I see my tagged notification and got up so quick!

Little TW for anyone who might read this. I do mention a little bit about self h*rm in my second paragraph about Rie. Just wanted to let you guys know in case x

Right, so... Satoru is really still convincing himself that Rie is perfect. He was catching all the things she was saying and in disbelief, but still internally convincing himself she's lovely and can't be horrible, bad etc. I feel like a part of him is still convincing himself of this to justify that Rie is the right girl for him and what he did was fine. And I think that he would have tried to keep up with this easier if YN never found out about the kiss. Because all this time, YN never knew but it seemed as tho she was ok with all of this to their friends. Now the facade is up. Gojo looks like an even bigger prick. He's trying to have the best of both worlds. Which is unfair on both the girls. He's kinda giving both false hopes. Kissing YNs hand (and yeh i know it could have just been a tender moment, but still very intimate) and she thought he was coming back to her. And Rie is like yeh but you love me and you're dating ME. Kinda reminds me of chapter 1, and please correct me if I'm misquoting your work, when YN says you don't love me anymore and he says something like no it's not like that. It's like that again but the other way round. I've tried being civil this time, but flippin heck, this arse just wants his dick wet but doesn't know by who! Ugh! PM GOJO YOU BRING OUT THE WORST IN ME! Wish version Jack Frost looking ass bitch! (I actually love non PM Gojo, im sry bbz ily)😅😂

Now Rie, I feel bad because, yes in that situation she probably can't help but think shit I'm going to lose him. And the questions going through her mind when she saw Gojo holding YNs hand... because once a cheater always a cheater. They both were part of this cheating, so it's only natural for her to think he's done it once, he can do it again. And she's already not a fan favourite. She really pissed me off when she said YN was self h*rming for attention... (some of my old 'friends' who were very close to me had said this to me and it hurts more than the physical pain :/). She's getting very insecure and acting irrationally and saying things out of desperation. I feel like this weird subtle chasing dynamic is either gnna mirror the relationship Toji had with his new gf in his series, because she had him without having him. Orrrr it will drive him away and they both lose on what they wanted.

Loved that scene at the end with YN and Suguru. It was so sweet. I hope she gets a tattoo that represents her strength and is part of her healing so she can get up and do some boss girl shit. And I hope that Shoko and Suguru become her chosen family/people (whether YN ends up with one of them or not (still kinda hoping for YNxSuguru lol)), because her shitty parents and Gojo failed her miserably. Gojo watching that scene made it so much better. I hope he gets that he can't be part of her healing, because it will be like rubbing salt on the wounds. Personally, as much as I love that person, I could never trust them again. I'd live like a walking corpse if I chose to be with them again constantly thinking about that betrayal. Gotta put me first! (I keep thinking of the Cookie Empire gif and I dont know how to add images in this on my phone because I'm shite at this lol). He lost something amazing, 5 whole years, over 5 minutes of infatuation. But I guess it showed that YN wasn't his, rather than Gojo not being YNs, if that makes sense. Because really and truly she didn't lose, which I hope she sees later on, but he did.

Omg, also that mini flashback of how the 3 of them met. I wonder if Suguru saw and liked her first, stepping back for Gojo and now is his time to shine... 👀👀👀

Sorry that's my rambling done. Thank you as always! I always eagerly wait for the next chapter. Gnna go reread this chapter in case I missed any details! Please make sure to take care of yourself!

P.S. I've just shared this chapter with my non tumblr friends and waiting for their discussion! 😄🙌🏾

Hiiiii omg woww, i so love this !! i like how you tried to dig deeper into their thoughts and their feelings and how you kept it all realistic and rational, like u made points for what possible reasons made this character do this and that !!! about that part that u shared, that u've been told what rie said abt yn, bb im sorry u had to go through that. those people are not your people. i hope u feel better now🥺♥️

anyways, thank you so muchhh for reading and for sharing omg, that makes me really happy !! please do take care of yourself too, and i hope you're doing great ~<33

#🍭—kaitalks #f: permanent mark #tw.self harm

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heyitsyn · 4 years ago

Text

Keeping Up With Seijoh Ep. ∞

a/n: this made me tear up a bit ngl bc haikyuu always hitting us with ‘theres no next year for us’ typa bull like BLS TAKE PITY ON MY SOUL AND STOP TIME AND KEEP MY BOYS TOGETHER :(((((((

it has an infinity symbol bc this is in the future so there isnt really an episode number

for more seijoh content, check this masterlist out!

anon:

the third years coming back to seijoh the following year for a surprise visit, and watching over practice cuz they were in town for break. being impressed on how kyo has calmed down (a bit), kunimi actually giving a sh-, yknow the deal. just the growth of their kouhai makes them 🥺🥺 but THEN- Y O U walk in with the team’s bottles n the small gasp that comes out of your mouth when you see them. they GAWK cuz you’re maturing SO well (stfu oikawa- my eyes up are here) and just 🥺🤲

SO LIKE UNLESS YOURE NEW TO MY BLOG YOU KNOW THIS FINNA BE A SAD ONE BC SEIJOH THIRD YEARS ARE MY FAVORITE BOIS AND THEM GRADUATING MAKES ME :(

oh god here comes the tears

it was something you knew was coming since yanno, third years and all that

but you were so sure you had more time left before it happened

didnt you just join the team and met them like yesterday?

nope love you met nearly a year ago

and they made quite an impact on you in the short term you were together

so during the day of graduation

it wasnt really a school day since it was mostly for third years and the whole ceremony but kouhais could come so they could send off their senpais

you already called each third year the night before, nearly 2 hours per boy, to talk to them and cry with them so you didnt have to cry during the day

but ofc

you were sobbing already when you saw your captain walk up and get his tube with the diploma inside

they tried to remain strong as they sat in their seats but a single glance at you and the team at the stands above, the tears were already either forming or full out slipping

i know yall finna beat me up for this but im not really familiar with the other third years in the team bc theyre not really shown in the anime or manga that much so i dont have a good grip on their character so can we pls pretend theyre not in here?? omg pls dont kill me though

the ceremony felt like a long time for the seniors but when it was finally over, they ran out of that building and yall did too and you bolted yourself into the arms of your captain

oikawa held you tightly against him and he didnt care about being seen by his fangirls, who were waiting outside for him, or the others who wanted to have you to them too

‘i love you, y/n-chan’

he mumbled and you nodded

‘mhm. i love you too, oikawa-san. i love all my boys’

YALL MY HEART IS BREAKING BC OIKAWA ACTUALLY MEANT IT THIS TIME AND YOURE STILL OVER HERE THINKING THAT HES JUST SAYING IT AS A FRIEND LIKE IM-

iwa ripped you away from him and your face was buried into his chest

but it didnt last long since the others got a little impatient and just joined the hug turning it into a group hug

‘i dont want you to leave!’

kindaichi sobbed and kunimi sniffled, holding on tighter to the backs of his senpais

even kyo was sad but hes a tuff boy so he easily hid that behind his usual frown and glare

after seeing their parents and reassuring them they would be home soon, you started your trek towards your usual hang out spot

the second and first years were walking ahead of you while the third years fell back in step with you in between them

mattsuhana flanked your left while iwaoi were at your right

the tears were now gone but sniffles still filled the area and everyone was still down in their spirits

you held tightly to the warm big hands of iwaizumi and the soft touch of mattsun’s hand as if you were clutching your life-line

but you knew no matter how tightly you held on to them, they would still go and eventually leave you behind

the ramen shop was filled with another round of tears as everyone realized that this would be the last time seijoh og would have ramen here

‘WE DONT WANT YOU TO GOOO~~~~!!!!!!’

kindaichi sobbed while kunimi aggressively shoved noodles in his mouth to hide his hiccups

you refused to eat because you were so sad that you were scared you might end up throwing it all up later so you settled on relishing your time with the boys

oikawa was busy talking to yahaba and telling him tips and tricks for next year while iwaizumi was consolling the others who were crying

that left you to harshly wipe off the tears and focus on the jokes that matsuhana were telling to help and lighten up the mood

‘think of it like this! you won’t have oikawa and iwaizumi fighting anymore!’

well,,,,,

that kinda made things worse

geez makki stfu!!!!

you bursted into full tears and you sobbed, loudly and freely

‘WAAAAAHHHH!!!!!’

you wheezed and then continued to cry

everyone flinched and got startled at the sight of you crying

theyve seen you cry before but not this intensely and sadly

‘DONT GO!!! OU-OUR FAMILY’S GONE!! ITS B-BROKEN NOW!!!!’

you wailed

everyone is so used to seijoh antics that they didnt even bat an eyelash when everyone started crying

‘damn it, i was trying not to cry!’

iwa growled and buried his face into his hands to hide the pain in his eyes

‘come here, y/n-chan’

mattsun cooed while sobbing and you went straight into his arms and his arms tightly wounded around you

he pressed kisses on your neck to calm you and he whispered promises to keep you from thinking that you would be alone

the boys were all still crying even when you paid for them and at the exit, everyone wouldnt let go of each other

ngl it was a weird sight of seeing these boys just hanging on and hugging the others and you were tightly pressed against makki’s chest

‘dont cry, y/n-chan. we’ll be here, always. just a 4-hour ride to tokyo’

he promised but you shook your head

‘--too far’

you mumbled and he was able to make out a few words and he laughed

‘i swear you’ll see us in a few hours’

it took a few words of assurance from makki and eventually mattsun and iwa joined

oikawa stayed back because he already wanted to walk you home and iwa knew you were the one that was the hardest for oikawa to tell his plans to

waving them good bye, you fussed and made sure everyone was not crying anymore

‘you text me the moment you get home, all right? and kyo-san, let the food in your stomach settle before-’

‘before i take a bath-yea i know’

he rolled his eyes but he smiled lightly before hugging you

‘go home now, y/n’

he pushed you towards his captain but you pulled away one last time to give each boy a kiss on the cheek

their lips trembled, especially the third years, and wanted to keep their tears in but they rocket launched to space

yanno that one part in season 1 when kiyoko told them to work hard and then they just snot-rocketed and cried

oikawa interlaced your fingers as you both walked towards your house and it was quiet

you were sus bc it was too quiet and oikawa would usually be either skipping, humming a tune, or just yapping his ass off

but right now

he was quiet, slouchy, and,,,, not oikawa

you looked up to see his face and you knew it wasnt just the graduating part

it was like,,,, he was nervous

you squeezed his hand and that got his attention

‘oikawa-san, whats wrong?’

he suddenly stopped and your linked hands caused you to also stop so you watched him stare down at his shoes and you blinked at him in confusion

‘oika-’

‘y/n, tell me to stay’

he,,, sounded like he was begging

pleading

desperate to hear you say it

‘why should i?’

you asked and he finally lifted his eyes to stare into your eyes

he gulped before further explaining himself

‘coach got me a volleyball scholarship’

he whispered and your eyes widened before you launched into him for a hug and pulled back to cup his face

‘oh my god! tooru! a scholarship?! im so proud-’

‘in argentina’

he finished and your eyes dimmed, the lifted corners of your lips falling into a frown

‘o-oh’

you stuttered and pulled your hands away but he grabbed them, placing them back to his face

‘but if you dont want me to go, i wont-’

‘NO! what?! tooru, its your dream! you and iwa-san wouldnt stop talking about that match with argentina and-and you want to go there! dont you dare let that slip away!’

you scolded frantically however oikawa’s face scrunched before he started crying

‘i-i can’t! y/n, i’ll be alone! its so far away! far from iwa, far from you-’

then you reached to your tippy toes and kissed his nose then leaned back with a big smile

‘no matter how far, ill always be right here. im always going to be here, waiting for you’

you mumbled and oikawa hiccuped then leaned his forehead against yours, eyes clashing that was so full of love and fear

‘then dont you worry, y/n-chan. oikawa-senpai will work really hard and he will come back and make you happy’

he whispered and you pulled him even closer to give him the biggest hug

‘im looking forward to it’

TIMESKIPTIMESKIPTIMESKIPTIMESKIP

ONEYEARONEYEARONEYEARONEYEAR

truth to be told with guilty conscience, the third years havent really been in touch

yes theyve called and messaged but there wasnt a normal kind of communication, especially with oikawa

but they decided to go over there during a simultaneous week break for universities in tokyo and iwa, makki, and mattsun pressured oikawa to fly back to japan just for a week to visit

‘iwa-chan im so broke righ-’

‘fine, we’ll see y/n ourselve-’

‘OKAY FINE! HERE! IM BUYING THE TICKET NOW SEE?!’

bahahaha im sorry i love oiks so much its not even funny

they agreed to not tell anyone, even coach, to surprise you all and to see your faces of surprise bc mattsuhana are little shites and they love to mess around

it was a normal day during practice

yahaba was teaching some first years how to serve while watari was giving exercising tips on how to bend their knees without shrieking in athritis

kyotani was doing jump serves while kindaichi and kunimi tried to block him

it was a normal day

the former third years knew the ins and outs of the place and oikawa still had his keys of the gym since he never gave it back so they were easily able to sneak in

they sat on the bleachers and observed everyones growth which really blew them away and took them aback by how much they improved in little time

like kunimis actually huffing and throwing a mini tantrum bc hes so into it and hes mad he didnt get that block right

they also noticed the larger amount of new recruits and based on their practice, it looks like they would be in good hands for the next few years

however, the true shock settled in when this happened

kyotani cursed loudly when the ball hit out but yahaba scolded him for saying a bad word in front of the first years

‘kyotani, dont say that anymore! its not good to teach the babies bad words!’

he ranted and the college boys shared a look of caution and fear, bracing themselves for kyotani’s normal screaming and tantrum for being called out

but they were the most surprised when the bleach-haired boy simply glared at him and turned away to go pick up another ball to hit

‘did,,,, did kyoken-chan-’

‘was he just calm right now?’

‘oh my god iwa-chan kyoken-chan got abducted by aliens!’

I SWEAR TO GOD ITS LIKE THE CURRENT THIRD AND SECOND YEARS GOT AN OIKAWA ‘IWA-CHAN’ SENSOR BECAUSE THE MOMENT HE SAID THAT, THEIR EARS TWITCHED AND THEY JUST KNEW

THEIR SENPAIS WERE HERE

their eyes were wide and their attention snapped towards the bleachers where indeed, their 4 fathers sat

‘OIKAWA-SAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!’

kindaichi screamed and he NYOOMED towards the stairs but kunimi grabbed him by the collar

‘come down here, senpais!’

yahaba urged and coach and naoi shared a look of initial shock but then transformed into happiness

it was nice to see the family together again

they quickly turned into a dog pile with the hugs that were given around like kyotani actually giving iwaizumi a hug and makki and mattsun affectionately ruffling everyone’s hair

the other first years were just staring in awe at the legendary third years of seijoh that theyve heard so much about

‘everyone, these are your seniors!’

yahaba presented and the 3 third years became very flustered but ofc attention whore oikawa soaked it up

‘yes, hello, my little disciples! you are my legacy so work har- IWA-CHAN!’

he was cut into his famous line when his best friend bonked him for being too self-absorbed again

‘waaa, l/n-senpai was right’

some first year mumbled at the scene and their ears perked up at the name

‘l/n?’

‘where is she?! y/n-chan!’

oikawa shouted and looked around

BECAUSE OF FATE

YOU AUTOMATICALLY MANIFESTED THERE

‘YES YOU CALLED’

okay no but you actually walked in just in time, carrying the crate of water bottles, focused on not dropping them so you didnt really see the others

they were silent not because they wanted to mess with you and see how long youd figure out that they were there

they were silent because of how BEAUTIFUL you became

you gained a few inches and your hair is now longer with your baby fat slowly melting away and you were also finally showing your growth with your body

the eyes that used to gleam with childish innocence was now mature and poised like a perfect lady

even the way you walked with a crate made it seem like a ballet performance with the grace at every step and the flowery aura you exuded

you have turned from a ridiculously cute and pretty girl to a beautiful goddess

AND YOU WERE ONLY IN YOUR SECOND YEAR HOW THE HELL ARE THEY SUPPOSED TO HANDLE IT WHEN YOURE FINALLY A THIRD YEAR?!

CAN YOU IMAGINE THE AMOUNT OF BOYS THEY HAVE TO WARD OFF?!

‘my god’

iwaizumi mumbled, flushing red and turning away to hide his fluster

‘beautiful’

oikawa whispered and he gulped, not remembering how strikingly attractive you are

‘have mercy’

makki whined softly, clutching his heart as it started beating fast and made his stomach feel all funny

did they act like this back in the day?

mattsun doesnt have control so he ran forward and you were just putting the crate down when you were lifted off of the floor and twirled around

so like yahaba waved off the others to go back to practice so its like not awkward to be standing around and see this happening

there was only one person who did this to you

‘mattsun-san?!’

you shrieked and you giggled happily as he put you down so you were able to hug him properly and eventually, catching sight on the others behind him

your gasp made them smile widely and you pressed a hand to your mouth to hide the shock and your overjoyed laugh

if they could take a picture of this and remember the amount of love your eyes held and the pure unfiltered happiness that swirled in those orbs

it was like they felt themselves falling in love with you all over again

‘oh my god everyone’s here too!’

you ran to them and jumped at the awaiting arms of iwaizumi and he was still the bara arm babie you remembered

‘i missed you, doll’

he whispered

‘hmmm,,,i missed you more’

he let you go and you skipped over to makki who engulfed you in his arms and you felt his soft brown hair because you remembered he loved it when you ran your fingers through his hair

‘youve grown! so much! you got even more beautiful!’

he exclaimed and you giggled, bashful at his compliment

‘hmm~, no i didnt’

he gave you a deadpan look and you chuckled before scurrying away towards the one you wanted to hug the most

he definitely got more toned and he got taller too

you didnt have any time to react since he grabbed you and squished you against him

‘youre here, oikawa-san’

he nuzzled his head against your neck

‘mhm, im here now, y/n-chan’

he placed a kiss on your nose and you scrunched your face but there was a big smile that was clear

then oikawa’s eyes trailed from your face to your,,, ahem,,, girls

‘jesus, y/n-chan really grew, huh’

he complimented and you blinked confusingly before trailing after his eye’s gaze and it landed on your chest and you punched him

‘urusai, oikawa-san! my eyes are up here! youre so perverted. pervert oikawa-san’

you pouted and moved to seek comfort in the arms of makki

‘hmm, oikawa’s perverted as usual. i think it got worse with all those argentinian women’

makki teased and mattsun joined to poke fun at their captain

oikawa whined and told iwa they were making fun of him to which his own best friend betrayed him and starting teasing him too

you simply watched on and your eyes watered, your sniffles catching their attention

‘eh? why are you crying, y/n-chan?’

oikawa asked while approaching you to wipe your tears with his thumbs

but you shook your head with a teary smile

‘n-nothing-just,,,, i missed you guys. an-and im so happy because its like our f-family’s back together and i just-i-’

you cried but it was out of happiness and their hearts warmed

ofc they felt guilty because they were aware that they werent as in touch as they shouldve been so you probably felt lonely and casted aside without any contact from your boys

but they know now to make sure you feel loved and cared for because as you keep saying, they were your boys

they were a family

seijoh is a family

and you love them

but they love you more

a/n: okay im sorry this is probably trash and all over the place and im crying and stressing but ive been writing in between my college alg homework and its been so hard like WHY IS NUMBERS SO HARD LIKE WHAT-?! but this has kinda been the baby of my break time and relaxing few minutes bc i procrastinate too much and i want to do something i like before i actually go insane and i promise PROMISE that once everything is cleared up i will edit this and im already working on the other requests so expect a few to be out by the end of the week or something like that!!

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sinnaminsuga · 4 years ago

Text

New Royalty

(here's that supernatural cross over fic! i'm still not sure i'm happy with it how it turned out but here it is! 😂)

@indigosaurus @zealoushound @killjoy-assbutt-1112 @hope-to-hell @wendimydarling @infinite-shite @inlovewithhisblueeyes

Being a crossroads demon, life wasn’t easy. Especially so now, when you’re adjusting to becoming the fresh new King Of Hell. I wanted to continue my job as a crossroads demon because truthfully, I loved the work. But, being the King was a daunting task all on its own, so I let my number one Knight Of Hell, my brother (for all intents and purposes) Sy, handle the crossroads deals. And he had been doing an amazing job, snatching up souls left and right. But I could tell by the look on his face as he stormed into the great hall, that something had gone very very wrong.

“August, I can’t handle this chick anymore! She’s driving me fucking nuts! And she must be a lawyer or somethin’ because she knows her contracts man. But she’s driving me up the wall and I’m gonna gank this bitch with the First Blade if you don’t go talk to her.” Sy shouted through the hall as he approached my throne. The anger was rolling off of him in waves, scaring away the low level demons milling about.

“Sy what are you talking about?” I asked, flipping through pages of paperwork. “Listen, there’s this girl who keeps summoning me right? And there’s no offer I make her that will make her take the deal and eventually I get annoyed and I leave. And EVERY night she does this. She summons me EVERY. NIGHT. And this last time I went topside to see what she wanted and SHE ASKED TO SPEAK TO THE FUCKING MANAGER. Can you believe this shit?!” Sy said, finishing with an exasperated sigh.

“What’s her deal? Like what does she want?” I asked, genuinely curious about this strange woman and what she wanted. “Dude she won’t tell me! I told her whatever she wants is gonna cost her, her soul and I’ll come and collect it in 10 years. No dice. I offered 11 years, ya know an extra year to sweeten the pot but still no. She said the only way she’ll stop summoning me is if I give her a good enough deal or if I send my boss. August I can’t keep dealing with her. I have so much shit to do. You ever been zapped away in the middle of a battle with a leviathan? Because I can now say that I have! And it sucked! Please, I know you’re busy too but can you PLEASE deal with her?” Sy pleaded, kneeling at my feet, his hands clasped together.

“Fine. I’ll go up there just this once. But do not make it a constant thing to come in here asking me to do this. The King does not make it a habit to bend the rules for anyone. Not even his own brother.” I said, casting a glance down at him. I stood up from my throne and stretched out my arms and legs before heading to the crossroads.

When I arrived there was a stunning girl leaning against a shitty blue pick up truck, her head hanging low and her boot drawing patterns in the dirt. “Hey! You wanted to see me?” I called out, her head snapping up to look at me. “Yeah. Yeah I did.” She said. As she made her way closer to me I could sense there was something different about her. I don’t know how Sy couldn’t tell what she was but I definitely could.

“Ah ah ah sweetheart. I don’t trust angels. Drop the blade in the back of your truck or I’ll smoke outta here faster than you can blink alright?” I demanded. She was an angel. And not just in the sense that she was beautiful, no. She was a real angel. Hidden wings, angel blade, grace, and all. She was stunningly beautiful but terrifying at the same time. The blood beneath my skin thrummed with anticipation. What could this gorgeous, heavenly creature want from me?

“Oh! Oh right sorry! I forgot to ditch it because I didn’t know if you would actually come talk to me! I’m Y/N.” She replied with nervous laughter, throwing her sword into her truck. I crossed my arms over my chest and looked at her. “So, what ever could you want to talk to me about? My brother said you’ve exhausted him. I suggest you don't try that with me, I'm far less forgiving.” I grinned.

“Well you see, the thing is, Sy didn’t understand what I wanted and I think it’s because he couldn’t tell what I was. I’m what's considered an archangel. One of the original angels that God created.” She said. “Oh honey I know exactly what you are. I could see it the minute my feet hit the ground up here. Dont waste my time with things I already know. Spit it out. Now.” I grumbled, growing impatient.

“Okay. So you obviously know my brother Lucifer, he used to be like your leader or whatever. But what no one knows is that I was supposed to fall too. Lucifer took the full blame even though everything that happened was half my fault. I believed in him and his cause but he insisted I stayed upstairs with Dad and the rest. When they found out I had conspired against them they locked me up for thousands of years. Can you believe that?! God forbid I’m a free thinker! Pun intended. I’ve finally gotten free and I needed to get the fuck out. I’m so angry and I just can’t stay there anymore!” Y/N growled. Her eyes were glowing with the force of her anger and it made the surrounding air sizzle.

This woman didn’t know it but she was having quite the effect on me. The cogs in my brain were spinning with all the ideas of what she would say next. “Y/N what do you want from me? There’s a reason you keep contacting my brother and I want to know why.”

“I want to strike a deal.” She said. “No shit sweetheart. That’s what everyone wants. I want to know what the deal is since you refuse to speak to Sy.” I huffed, growing tired of this game. Dancing around the point was never my favorite thing.

The beautiful stranger sauntered closer to me and splayed her hand over my chest before slowly lifting her gaze to meet my eyes. I could feel the warmth radiating from her palm and it made my skin tingle and the blood in my groin pulse. “Every king needs a queen right?” She said, grinning up at me. “You take me as your queen, and we all get what we want. I get to take my place in hell where I should have been a long time ago, and in return you get an extra set of hands and eyes to help you run the joint. I can help you August. Truly I can. And you can help me.” Y/N murmured, delicate fingers tracing over my chest.

I mulled it over for a moment, weighing the options and all that. It would be good to have a loyal partner to help me run my empire and she was beautiful and intriguing so I wouldn’t mind her being my wife. Also she had a great deal of power and with her in my arsenal I would never lose, should the opportunity of war arise. The decision was an easy one.

“Well if you know so much about crossroads deals, you know how we seal this contract don’t you?” I smirked, my eyes flashing to black. “Of course I do. I’ve been waiting for this part for weeks.” She said, her hand snaking around the back of my neck and pulling my face towards her. Our lips met in a heated clash and I could feel electricity pulsing from her body. A loud thunder clap sounded in the distance as her tongue slipped into my mouth. The feeling of kissing her was like nothing I’d ever experienced before. My hands began to roam her body and squeeze her flesh. She was so warm but so strong, like velvet covered steel. I couldn’t get enough of her. My lips moved to her neck and I tugged on her sensitive skin with my teeth. The whimper that fell from her lips sounded like paradise. She was clawing at my back and writhing against me and all I had done was kiss her. Her responses to my touch were amazing and I never wanted this to end. I pulled back for a moment to catch my breath and she whined like I’d stabbed her. I pressed my lips to the shell of her ear before whispering, “Sweetheart, if we keep going at it like this I’m going to have no choice but to fuck you on the very ground you stand on.”

“So do it. I want you to. I’m yours now.” She snarled. Before I could register what was happening, she hooked her right leg behind mine and shoved at my chest, effectively bringing me to the ground. Once we landed, I began kissing her again, my snaking my tongue into her mouth. She audibly moaned when I ground my hard length against her clothed center.

“Baby, I’m all about dry-humping but if you don’t hurry up and get inside me I actually might explode. And the last time an archangel exploded, cities were leveled and people were killed.” She giggled. “Keep sweet talking me honey. Death and destruction are a demons favorite things.” I groaned into her neck, a mischievous smile on my lips, before I sank my teeth into her neck. She laughed aloud, the sound like bells, and I never wanted to hear anything else ever again.

She took my face in her small hands, her beautiful eyes scanning my face before whispering “Take me home August. It’s where we belong.”

THE END

#mine #henry cavill #the cavillry #supernatural #august walker #captain syverson

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uchihashisuii · 4 years ago

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Ok, here's a thing I've been thinking about for a very long time. We all know how weak V is near the end of the game. Coughing blood, fainting, headaches - full package. Let's say V got rid of the chip (what happens with Johnny is up to you, preferably he gets his own body because even if he's an ass he's our ass) but instead of your canon endings, V stays under Viktor's. Meds, maybe some brain implant to expand V brain space - yanno, your typical recovery stuff. No more merc shite, no more gigs. Chip just wrecked her body too much and now her days consist of days at clinic or Misty's shop, doing small jobs like fixing guns (or something else V is good at but doesn't requires running into gang nests and shooting things) and helping her friends with mundane tasks. V finally gets to grieve properly with Mama Welles, Misty and Vik. V and Viktor get really close, they talk about feeling and shite and romance between them just feels so natural. I really think V deserves some domestic life with someone who knew her for a long time like Viktor. Let. V. Recover. In. Peace. In. Viktor's. Arms. CDPR YOU COWARDS.

bro I vibe with you so hard rn cause that's literally my canon ending with my V im. like deadass my mari doesnt get with vik til post-ending cause they're both dumb and dont realize the other feels the same way until he's helping her recover from mikoshi

ABSOLUTELY YES V is gonna be a-okay and johnny has his body back and everyone helps them get through their physical and mental hiccups (esp in regards to getting used to the fact they arent connected anymore) and V finally gets to Rest

#viktor vector #victor vector #victor vektor #rippermerc #cyberpunk 2077

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dingusninetrillion · 4 years ago

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a first choice

Harry Potter | Harry/Hermione | 1k words

author’s note: I have been in a bit of a writing funk, and a Harry Potter funk, going away from the fandom for months and coming back again, it comes in cycles, but I wrote this a couple of months ago. And decided I’d share a bit of it for some reason. Hope you enjoy the snippet of something I am working on. It is currently a 15-page document, so a possible long one shot.

Hermione had watched over the past few years as Ginny and Harry’s relationship slowly deteriorated. Communicating less and arguing more. Some days they were barely on speaking terms. They hid it quite well, but it became more prominent after all of their kids were finally off to Hogwarts. After Lily had left they had moved into separate bedrooms and became the equivalent of roommates.

The end of their marriage had resulted in them actually becoming closer and mending their marriage into a close friendship. It was quite a surprise to everyone.

Harry and Hermione seemed to take more of their breaks together. He confided in her more than anyone. He talked about everything. From the kids, to his newfound friendship with Ginny, to his doubts regarding staying in the auror department.

She felt like a first choice.

It was a breath of fresh air, something she couldn't tear herself away from. Even if, in the beginning, she almost willed herself to stop spending so much time with him, maybe it was because she noticed Ron's somewhat subtle, barely noticeable, disdain every time she mentioned her lunches or monthly outings with Harry.

“Harry,” she took a deep breath, “How does our friendship compare to your new friendship with Ginny,” It was a risky question, but it has been on her mind for months

“Well, it doesn't,” was his immediate response, almost reflex-like “not in the slightest.” there seemed to be something in his eyes; a glint, or something she couldn't quite place

When her and Ron began to have problems, it was only natural that she confided in Harry. He gave her his absolute unbiased and undivided attention.

“It just doesn't feel like we fit anymore,” she paused for a second to collect her thoughts. “And the truth is; I am not sure if we ever have. Maybe I deluded myself into thinking eventually we would.”

She took a breath. “The kids are gone. They are not completely clueless. Eventually they will realize something is off.”

“I think you just need to take it one step at a time,” was Harry’s response. “You don't need to figure it all out at once.”

“I know,” she huffed. “I just want him to stop looking at me with this look of his. Like I will just fall into his arms or something,” she lets out a frustrated sigh. “Like everything will just be okay if we wait long enough,”

She groans.

"Waiting isn't going to fix this shite. If he wants to work on us, then he needs to put in work. Not wait around like a lost puppy" she lets out a humorless laugh. "I have tried so hard to fix things between us. And he just seems content t-to sit on his arse and-” She cuts herself off, feeling like she has overshared.

(Would it be an awful thing to acknowledge that she has admitted things to Harry that she can barely admit to herself.)

(His presence just has that effect on her)

“I don't think I am the one you need to be telling this,”

“I know. I know. I just dont even know where to begin with him,” Harry laughed before replying. “Does anyone?”

“Point taken,” she swallowed after that.

"How is your Ginny's friendship-parenting-companionship-thing," he laughed at her choice of wording.

Harry's response is simple.

"Well we are friends, roommates, and y’know parents to the kids," he pauses. “Doesn't get more complicated than that. It's nice."

“I didn’t realize how much I preferred this arrangement to our actual marriage.”

A few minutes pass.

“Harry,” she whispered, still looking down. “I haven’t told you this lately, but, I appreciate you,” she paused for a second and let her eyes close. “So much.”

After a minute or two, Hermione opens her eyes and glances at Harry. He’s already looking at her, and he meets Hermione’s gaze with hesitancy. If it was someone else, Hermione might look away.

Except, she doesn’t want to.

Harry’s gaze feels captivating. Capturing. Analyzing. Processing. For a moment, it feels like he is the only thing she can look at, and she doesn’t want to look away. His eyes are magnetic. She has spent so long lying to herself, whatever her and Harry are, if anything, she just needs to hold onto this moment.

She feels her breath catch in her throat when his hand makes its way over to hers. His gaze never falters.

"So" Ginny paused to look up at Harry, trying to read him, “Hermione, yeah?”

"Yeah?"

"Is everything okay? It’s not like you to do things like that.”

Isn’t it?

Maybe Harry has lied so much, to everyone and himself, he only notices it when he stops pretending he believes it.

“Yeah,” Harry says. “Everything’s fine. Sorry if I have been off lately.”

“It’s just. It’s just... you said it yourself, right? Years ago... Hermione’s just a girl, and your friend. I suppose, well, I don’t really get why you didn’t tell me what's going on or even talk to Ron.”

That makes the two of them.

But, that’s not true. Harry knows. Hermione is just a girl, just a friend. But he’s spent years chasing the idea of Hermione, the private moments they shared, hoping that one day, her marriage with Ron will no longer be, hoping his feelings aren't just an endless pit of hopelessness, in the solitude of his own head.

He’s spent decades failing.

He has spent years feeling like the most selfish 'best friend' out there.

He doesn’t know how to deal with himself now that all the signs point to Hermione returning his feelings and her marriage now falling apart.

His feelings aren't just some leftover fraction of a long-lost dream or the war. He used to wonder if he fooled himself into thinking she could return his feelings, if he’d built it up in his head with nostalgia and the closeness they built during those months in the tent.

#harmione drabble #harry x hermione #harmione #harry x hermione fic #harry potter fanfic #harmione fic

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nitholites · 5 years ago

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Assuming someone in the BatFam is the end game:

It's been only a week or so since Tony figured out who Ladybug is

She's captured everyone's hearts, but has to go to Gotham soon

For help, but also because of her internship

The Stark Gala becomes a 'you better live and come back one day, Mari or I STG' party, hosted by Tony Stark, of course

She makes all the outfits of the Starks, her parents, herself, Jagged, Penny, Luka, and Kagami (the last two friends minus Chloe from Paris) and she makes extra in case someone has a wardrobe malfunction

Meanwhile, the Waynes have heard a lot about the newest Stark: MDC

Tim is a fanboy. He's found everything related to his favorite rock star's designer/niece there is to find ("I'm not obsessed! They're just super talented, and I'd like something from them! Stop laughing at me, Dick!")

Dick has no room to tease him, as both him and Jason are pretty much in the same boat

Kor'i and Mar'i love MDC, as well

Every one of the Bats are huge Jagged Stone fans

Like... Nearly rabid

(Damian, Bruce, and Alfred redact that statement)

They're invited to Tony's gala thing (he only started it to surpass the Wayne Gala, like the Lil Shite he is)

The night of the party, only Bruce and Jason go, since the rest of the bats are busy

Bruce, Jagged (who brought Fang), and Tony are all chatting in the middle of the floor, 2/3rds of the group are just talking up Marinette

Jason, meanwhile, accidentally runs into this small, adorable child who proceeds to spill her punch all over his suit

He insists it's fine, but she won't take 'no' for an answer ("I am so sorry, please let me make it up to you" "Kid, it's fine, accidents happen" "No, seriously, let me help")

There's a look in her eyes that insists she do something, and he eventually agrees

Cue to Marinette having a suit jacket that matches and fits Jason because "You look like you're the same build as Mr. Stark (she's all for joining Peter in calling Tony 'Mr. Stark' to get under his skin)"

"you know Tony?"

She shrugs, and doesn't comment anymore on it

"give me your address, and I'll bring this back when it's clean again. I'm moving to Gotham for a while soon, anyway"

He does, she doesn't realize he's a Wayne, and they part when the party ends

Cue the entire BatFam sprinting into Jason's room, chasing after a full on scream

Like, they didn't know Jason's voice could get "so high and squeaky, what the hecc?"

They pause as they see Jason litterally jumping up and down

"What the hell, Todd."

Instead of answering, he shoves the jacket in Tim's face with a shite-eating grin

It takes a moment, but Tim scowls and pulls out his wallet

When the rest of the family only look confused, Tim sighs and explains

"He got an MDC original first."

"...you had a bet on that?"

Jason freezes, eyes widening

"HOLY SH*T, I MET THE MDC! SHE WAS SO TINY, OH MY GOD, BATS, WE HAVE TO ADOPT HER!"

They're confused for a solid minute

"YOU DONT UNDERSTAND SHES AN ANGEL AND HAS BLACK HAIR AND BLUE EYES!! SHE'S OBVIOUSLY A WAYNE!"

It takes all of Bruce's willpower not to adopt her on the spot when she visits them

Like, he almost brings up adoption papers

But he knows Stark would fight tooth and nail to keep this baby

So he restrains himself

(for now)

(he swears if one of his children doesn't marry her, he's bringing the adoption papers to court)

She doesn't stay long, only meeting all the Waynes at the house and going back to her hotel

The next day, a villain goes after Mar'i, near the park/mall/something Marinette is by

Instead of becoming Ladybug, she heccin kicks arse

As Marinette

She gets both her and Mar'i out of danger without a scratch using a yo-yo of all things and meets Batman and Robin as they clean up the rest

She's all like "no, it's alright, I'm sure anyone would do the same please stop thanking me, my family's gonna kick my ass to next year for scaring them like this"

Bats comes up and takes her statement, and she happens to mention the situation in Paris

"oh, this was nothing compared to some of the Akuma I've faced" "What's an akuma?" She paled, eyes widening in shock. "You don't know? About Ladybug, Chat Noir, Ryuuko, Viperion, Queen Bee, Red Wasp, Multimouse, Hawkmoth, Mayura, Carapace, Rena Rouge, and all them?"

She explains a little, giving basic information everyone knew, then shows him the app she made a while ago

The Akuma Alert app that held much more than just akuma-related things

She leaves soon after, and Batman has a goal in mind

Within the day, Diana is furious at the lack of response towards the Paris situation

"This Ladybug was left alone for all this time?! Shame on you all, leaving my mother's successor alone!"

When Ladybug is later spotted (hehe, get it?) in Gotham, the entire BatFam finds her and gets her in touch with the League

She explains how she asked both the League and the Avengers for help, all those years ago, and was pushed aside with warnings not to send in prank calls anymore

Of course, Iron Man has already looked into it, but he's not exactly a detective and the more brains on this, the better

Meanwhile, as civilians...

The normal shipping stuff happens

With the exception that nearly every criminal in Gotham low-key adopts Marinette

They may think she's the next Wayne, but the Angel of Gotham is off limits

And not because the little Wayne chases after anyone who even looks at her wrong with a katana

Not just as Robin. As Damian

Marinette actually meets a few villains on the street

She was going to a commission, carrying some hero, vigilante, and villain themed macaroons when she got lost

(before meeting the Waynes officially, actually)

She was in a park, looking lost when Poison Ivy and Harley Quinn came up

She offered treats, and ever since she's the Angel of Gotham

Once, when on a date with her romantic interest, Killer Croc tried taking the restaurant hostage after robbing a bank

Key word: tried

Marinette calmly slipped behind him, grabbed his tail, and dragged his butt outta there

(he blames the fast French girl and the tile on the floor, which didn't let him get a good grip)

By the time Bats and the police got there, Croc was in tears as this tiny French girl lectured him about manners and interrupting dates

(the BatFam can't think of a funnier time)

When the Joker actually kidnaps her as a way to get to Batman, literally everyone rages a rescue mission

Harley, Poison Ivy, Mr. Freeze (Marinette reminds him of the daughter he's always wanted, with his frozen wife), Two-Face (Marinette talked philosophy with him, showing him he still had choices beyond the black and white), Killer Crock (who was impressed by the tiny French girl who threw him out of a restaurant by his tail that one time), Batman, Robin, the Teen Titans, Red Hood, Red Robin, Wonder Woman (she could feel Tikki's influence on Marinette and guessed her identity), Nightwing, all the Avengers, Red Wasp (Chloe, with the Bee Miraculous because she earned it back ages ago), Sabine (no one messed with her baby. No one), a teenage boy wielding a potato gun (who let this kid here?), Pepper, Penny (the two women were fast friends, bonding over their husbands' eccentric ways), Jagged with Fang, Audrey Bourgeois, and the entire police force storm the Joker's hideout

He didn't have a chance

Later, they admit it was kinda funny watching the small Sabine beating the crap out of the deranged clown

Fang, who was usually a puppy with scales, didn't hesitate to bite off the Joker's hand, reminiscent of Captain Hook and the Croc

Marinette's fine (or not, depending on how much angst you want in the story. It's easy to have her tourtured and nearly killed in the Joker's clutches {or actually killed and focused on angst from everyone who knew her [possible heavy Lila/class salt]} and see her move past her PTSD) and she gets home eventually

Around this time, she's made the Guardian of the Miraculous

She eventually goes back to Paris with her huge family (or everyone she thinks could keep their emotions in check)

They kick Gabriel's arse, but Adrien gets away with his mother (who was healed by Ladybug)

Possible second book

Marinette's ship becomes the Black Cat

Time skip, fiveish years later, some of Marinette's classmates see her for the first time since she left

They insult and sass her, not changed since school

Her S/O scowls and debunks them easily, defending Marinette

When they don't stop, Marinette's S/O calls Bruce, Tony, Jagged, and the rest of the League and the Avengers to destroy the morons in the class because they know how long they've waited for this moment

Mari puts her head in her hands, but doesn't stop them because she knows how long they've waited for this moment

Three hours later, the speeches and lectures aren't done yet

Lila eventually goes to Gotham or wherever Marinette is, and tries to warn the person on her arm about Marinette's 'bulling tendencies'

That gets another lecture

Or, her class gets a tour at either SI or WE, depending on when in the story you write it (could be both, and the class just doesn't learn or Tony, Pepper, and their kids were visiting WE to talk about Mari Protection Measures when they overhear it)

Lila goes off on how Mari's S/O is actually Lila's, or how she's BFFS with Batman/Iron Man/ Bruce Wayne and his kids/ Tony Stark and his kids/ the Avengers/ the Justice League

Cue the class seeing Mari

Instant bullying

The resident children and billionaire steps up, insulting and embarrassing the class while defending Mari

Lila tries to turn it around, but they're having none of that

First the kids jump at the chance to defend their little sister and/or girlfriend, then the big guns show up

At WE, it's Bruce, a highly protective Jason, and Tim, who has every single sin/mean thing/lie pulled up in a folder

It's thicker than his hand, and hard to hold

It's both in digital and physical form and sent to every single member of Mari's family- blood related or not

At SI, it's Tony and Pepper

FRIDAY steps up, too

Harley shoots Lila with the potato gun mk 3 until she leaves

The class don't know what they did wrong, but they swear to make it up just to get the scary CEOs and relatives

Also, if anyone knows the AU where Marinette was a street kid with Jason and his little sister (I can't remember who made it or what it was called, but I fell in l o v e), that could work with this one too. Jason would be so proud of his Lil sister being so famous and awesome and "how dare you let me think you were dead!! Do you have any idea how worried I was?!" "I made you worried?! You up and nearly got killed last I checked!"

Jason swore not to tell her he actually died once. He prays she never finds out.

@tired-butterfly @evil-elf16 @doggiediva13 @krispydefendorpolice @mochegato @legallyspawned @kryptored

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yyxgin · 4 years ago

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i think what bugged me the most is i could say ‘they’re literal depression pills/they made me depressed’ and could reel off the side effect word for word (1/10 will experience mood swings (sometimes in the form of depression)) which was literally the first fricking side effect listed and the most common and she would still refer to it as me being sad literally seconds later in a convo. okay i never went to the doctor but when it occurred to me that, hey, something isn’t right, we were in the middle of a fucking pandemic!! i mean, we still are, but you get the point. this was right at the beginning when they basically closed everything as well so even if i wanted to i wouldn’t have been able to go see someone about it. but it’s whatever now, i don’t take them and i don’t have to give her any advice about them ✌️ i completely get the lack of validity about your emotions. that’s exactly how i felt.

i work so im not bothered about seeing people as i see them enough by my standards already but there is a helpful little voice in the back of my head reminding me that i still need to see my friends!! from before i got a job lol. i worked like 55 hours? my first proper week when i wasn’t on reduced hours and now i work maybe 30? which annoys me so i’m gonna ask for more bc i wanna buy a car and insurance. you still go to school, right? i feel like you’re more stressed about work considering you’re studying too. or were. have you just broken up from school? i don’t study, thank fuck, anymore, so i can do full time but i always get put on evenings so i’m thinking of getting a 9 to 5 bc then i can get the money i need.

a woman was rude to me bc her takeaway wasn’t ready bang on the clock when she turned up to pick it up. man it took literally every fibre in my being not to tell her to fucking leave me alone bc i’m a waitress?? what does she expect me to do??? i found out after but apparently our website tells you to allow a 15 minute slot when you order takeaway to pick up. i checked on this woman’s takeaway and told her it’d be ready in 10 minutes and she said sumn along the lines of ‘so 10 past 8?’. imma tell you straight i wasn’t looking at my phone so i assumed that meant the time was 8pm! (it wasn’t) she said to me ‘and i assume you’ll be knocking money off of the bill for that?’ and i politely replied ‘i can’t do that.’ bc i literally cannot. has to be a managerial figure. bearing in mind she’s already paid in full online???????? n she replies ‘do you wanna go suggest that?’ and nods towards the kitchen and i said no and walked off. the AUDACITY??? anyway i told my manager and she rolled her eyes and was like we don’t do partial refunds and said she’d talk to the woman when her order was ready. this woman was all up in my face saying ‘do you think that’s a reasonable time?’ asking if she should come back at 8:10 and im like idfk?? i have things to be doing can you fuck off?? no i didn’t say that but she says ‘i’ve got kids in the car with the engine running’ and i deadpanned ‘i didn’t tell you to leave your kids in the car with the engine running’ bc it was the first thing my brain thought of that wasn’t ‘sounds like a you problem to me’. in the end she left and came back but when she came back she was properly shouting at another waitress i work with and the girl was like 😄 your food was ready 20 minutes ago but you didn’t leave your details to be able to ring you to tell you it’s ready. she even re-mentioned the kids in the car saying they were starving and it was all our fault and the girl was like hmm okay. and then the woman said she was gonna leave a bad review on trip advisor!! and the waitress was like 😃 you do that bestie!! another great day on the grind :D (i forgot to say we were swamped on saturday so that’s why everything was so busy but she was literally the only one complaining that bad, like literally everyone could see we were struggling but they also were saying to wait staff things like ‘i know you can’t make things go quicker back there’ while we were apologising for the phat delay on their food).

another funny one (that made the barman laugh when i told it to him) was a grandma and a grandson in my section. the grandma was dictating his life jesus 😭 (not important but made me go 😳) but one of the girls cleared the table partially when i was doing sumn else so i finished it off and when we get back to kp she tells me the grandma complained the food was cold and without hesitation i said ‘well she fucking ate it all so tell her to fuck off and talk to someone who gives a shit’. she went quiet and i was like,, man i hope i didn’t scare her. but like. they cleared their plates. there was no food left. she didn’t call someone over. she didn’t say anything to anyone when they ask if it was okay. why wait until the end?? anyway i told thé barman and he giggled (he’s got a lovely laugh in my opinion bc it sounds like he’s snickering at everything). i was NOT going to tell my manager bc there’s literally no point. same day, later on, a man said his mussels were cold, i took them back and the kitchen cooked them again. i’d barely put the food down before he called me over (this one is a good one bc he hasn’t eaten EVERYTHING before complaining and therefore we can do something about the problem‼️) respect to that guy.

one of the girls gave me a lift home last night n the barman directed her right to my house without ever having been to my house before (his cousin used to live in the flats down the other end, he says) and when i messaged her later on thanking her and saying it was a bit sus that he directed her perfectly to mine n she said ‘hmm ben seems to go to yours more than he does his own home 🤔🤔🤔🤔’ bc apparently he was absolute shite at giving directions to his flat 😭 n e way he’s a sweetheart n he says he doesn’t like christmas anymore n he made me sad after he said that n i said i’d post coal through his letter box n he said i might as well n i was like okay this is an actual problem n now i’m gone be super nice to him at christmas bc he deserves so much more that the hand he’s been dealt. this convo happened after i let him try this herbal tea he said smelt nice n i said it tasted like christmas to me. he’s such a good person (despite literally everything he tells me about his past) n i cannot have him being a little humbug. god i think this crush i joked to you about is becoming a soft core friendship. like every fucking wattpad story out there. me n the girls agreed someone has to love him 🥺

okay im signing off now ily ~ 🌻

i am glad you are feeling better though, nobody deserves to suffer. and nobody deserves to have their emotions invalidated. remember that your emotions matter at all times. <3

yesyes i am still in school !! altough my summer break started on july 1st so i am not that stressed about managing many things at once anymore hh,, also you are working so much ??? damn ?? please remember to take some breaks and relax !! and meet your friends !!! have fun. i know you are saving up money but please dont overwork yourself !

wHY ARE PEOPLE SO RUDE OH MY GOD I SWEAR,,, i learned that while working with people. i just,, it feels like they are all looking down on me just because i am young and work there part-time. like bro,,chill. also i feel kind of bad when they ask me where stuff is and i cant tell them bc i have no idea but at the same time if people were all introverts like me i wouldnt have this problem. :) dfjk jk jk i should improve on that. i wish people were more nice to you !!! who do they think they are ?? like,,,,,why are you rude. this is clearly not your problem.

i like it when people tell you respectfully. like the guy you mentioned. because clearly what are you going to do about the cold food when they’ve eaten it all. where’s the logic.

IT SOUNDS LIKE HE IS OVER AT YOURS EVERY OTHER DAY DFJAKL that’s so funny. also i am bad at giving directions to my flat as well lmaoo poor ladies that drive me home from work sometimes. also i hate christmas as well lmaoo i feel that boy. its a little hard for me and i hope he doesn’t feel as bad during christmas this year when he has you around hihi,,, i fully stan this friendship. altough i am a big fan of friends to lovers if you know what i mean. in the energy of wattpad :))

ily !!!

#you can guess my mental stability by how quick i respond to asks #anyways #💌ask #🌻 anon

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just-the-mage · 4 years ago

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A Return From Dark Waters, Part II

Continued from Part I, found here!

(Written by myself & @iris-ymir)

Iris listened to Evangeline’s story. On some level, she felt the woman’s pain, when the other was talking about her nightmares. Iris had her own. Always the same... being strapped onto a hospital bed, while slowly losing herself. But she was not dead after all? This simple sentence gave her hope she did not know she had. She would still have time to fix a couple of things. The greatest mistake she ever made... but one could not start with such a leap. Every journey started with a small step. And for Iris? That small step would be Evangeline. What the two had in the past was gone with the wind... but it was never meant to be, anyways. With Eva’s arms wrapped tightly around her body.. a little bit too tight, Iris wanted to back away. Yet she did not. She swallowed hard, trying to keep the urge to leap away on tight reins. Breaking the embrace now would shatter Evangeline like a crystal vase, dropped off the table and onto the hard, cold marble flooring. So Iris endured the tight embrace, even though it took all of her self control, her body tense against Eva’s form. “So... Irene, huh?” Irene... Another self? Like the shrimp? If this was not a bad enough joke on its own.. now possibly having two of these leeches in her head... but this one actually using the name of her lousy mother? That...that was a joke so bad it kind of ended up being good in a twisted sort of way. Iris broke the embrace carefully, without making any overt movements. She moved like Evangeline was a startled kitten she was trying to calm down.

The pale viera pushed the plug into the hole in the bottom of the pool, and walked up to the shower stand, turning it on. As the warm, clean water started to fill the pool slowly, Iris made her way back to the miserable kitten that was Evangeline, and took a seat next to her, leaning back against the railing with a sigh.

“Irene was mi mom. A heckin’ terrible mother at dat...she died in Limsa Lominsa a good fifteen summers back. Found ‘er from da sea... raped and murdered.. Fockin’ unsuspectin’ fool... Burned ‘er corpse miself. Tha wind from da sea scattered 'er damn ashes by tha mornin’ light...” Without looking at Evangeline, Iris reached her arm over the railing, picking up a bath bomb, and flipping it into a slowly filling pool. The scent of hibiscus and steam soon filled the air.

“Ya dun sound too damn okai wid ‘er bein’ gone though. I would fockin’ lie, if I said dis wont disturb tha livin’ shite outta mi... This whole frickin’ scene.“

Evangeline could tell Iris didn’t want this. That she was uncomfortable with this. And yet...she stayed. She didn’t jump away, break the embrace...she didn’t run. Eva felt the thinner woman’s muscles tense against her, entirely unable to relax. Evangeline was about to let her go when Iris slowly and carefully extricated herself from Eva’s muscular arms. She turned on the shower again, plugging the bath, and began to fill it back up with warm water.

She’s trying. She’s really trying.

Eva thought, surprise tickling at the hollow feeling in her chest. Iris...this was unlike her. The voice was the same, though. Her eyes...undoubtedly...were the same. This was Iris...or at least, the Iris that Evangeline had known. Perhaps Silke had gotten through to her after all. Eva tried to harden her heart to the fact that Silke and Iris...that the two of them would inevitably end up together. If Iris could change...be more kind...like she was doing here...Silke would be with her. Evangeline’s breaths deepened as she tried to calm herself. Feeling the warm water tickle at her toes helped. Something to focus on other than her feelings.

“I’m sorry to hear about your mother...regardless of her quality it’s not something you should’ve had to experience. The more I hear about gods-damned Limsa Lominsa the more I want to march on it with a battalion of soldiers and wipe the blasted place off the map.” She intoned, probably sounding a bit harsher than she had meant.

”Ya dun sound too damn okai wid ‘er bein’ gone though.”

Iris was right...it wasn’t hard to read Eva given her tear-streaked face. She was trying to suppress the sobs, but couldn’t seem to find a way to.

“Y-you’re right...it’s...it’s a-awfully disturbing...and I’m s-sorry...but I do m-miss her...I don’t k-know if she was your mo-mother...though. I….I….I know...it’s not f-fair to you...to want her b-back...but she was m-my friend…” Evangeline heard a sharp intake of breath, seemingly from far off in the distance, and realized that she had done it. Probably preparing herself to burst into tears again. Because that’s what today needed. More tears. She didn’t know why she was telling Iris all of this...might be that she had been trying to help...as much as she could. But Eva had held this all inside of her for too long to contain it anymore.

“Sh-she was my...f-friend...and I d-don’t have any other f-friends...a-and I don’t know how...b-but she took the nightmares away...I di-didn’t dream them...for three wonderful nights...and I’m scared...to sleep again...b-because I know they’ll be b-back…” She covered her face with her hands, feeling the water rise around her feet. She closed her eyes and tried to contain herself, but it was the scent of hibiscus that cut the last string on that violin. She curled into herself further, tighter, her arms wrapped around her knees, and she buried her face in her thighs. She shuddered, wracked with sobs. She figured Iris would probably leave soon. Most everyone usually did. Evangeline was too broken...too hurt. Too much of a mess. Too much of a burden. Now that Iris was back...she probably had things she wanted to do. A life she wanted to live.

And now that the deal was most definitely off...Iris had nothing left to gain from Evangeline’s presence. Eva waited for the sound of retreating footsteps. Expectantly. And as she did, she felt herself whisper something. Under her breath...more to herself than anything else. She hoped Iris would hear it. And she didn’t want Iris to hear it.

“I d-don’t...want t-to be...alone…again..”

As Evangeline broke into tears again, Iris stood up, taking an empty bucket and a luffa that were resting on the edge of the pool, and walked to the shower stand, filling the bucket up. In a way, Iris saw herself in the crying woman... She had felt the same after she got left alone in Limsa Lominsa. She despised her mother, but still, the lonely, sleepless nights on the streets had been horrifying. Iris had not cried a single tear for her mother back then, but she had cried for the feeling of loneliness. Just as Evangeline did now. And the root of the sorrow? Irene. Iris’ mother... Evangeline’s.. friend? The thought was disturbing, and Iris did not want to think about it. It couldn’t be. Irene Ymir was long gone. This... this had to be someone wearing the mask. An echo of a person once lived. Deep down, Iris wished the name was just a coincidence. A simple name her subconscious had picked up from somewhere. Yes. That had to be the case. Irene was dead. As the pool filled up, Iris closed the shower, picked up the bucket and made her way into the spot next to Evangeline. She reached out for a beautiful, purple bottle of soap, and poured some of it into the bucket, stirring it with the luffa. “...Fockin’ ‘ell, Evangelin’...”, she sighed out the words, while dipping the luffa onto the bucket, and proceed to wash Eva’s back and shoulders, now that the woman was curled up into herself. “...Stop yer heckin’ bawling, okai? Who tha devil said yer alone? Im ‘ere... Ya like it or not. And for yer... Irene? If whut yer sayin’ is true... If she truly is like tha shrimp, she’ll heckin pop out sooner or later. But until dat ‘appens, yer stuck wid mi!”, suddenly Iris bursted into an almost inaudible giggle.

“Shiteberries, Im heckin’ back Ya’ll!! Dey could not keep mi! No... Dey could not keep Iris... Ya ‘ear ye motherfockers?! Tha cat’s on da table, and dere’s nothin’ ya can do about it!”, she looked up to the corner of a ceiling, with a wide grin on her messy, black lips. With her bad teeth, the look resembled something from a horror story. Iris returned back to her work, now scrubbing the soot off of Evangeline’s arms and chest, as much as she could with the woman still curled up like a caterpillar.

“...Waaait, wait... Ya slept together? Dont tell mi ya focked wid this Irene... Because dat.. Dat would be waay too weird. For a sleepin’ though... I guess ya can sleep in mi room... I ‘ave quite a wide bed. Soo, as long as ye stay on yer heckin’ side... yer free to join mi. I can't take awai yer frickin’ nightmares, but guess I can be dere if ya ‘appen to wake up for dem. ‘Aight?” Not only that, but Iris felt like she also needed someone to sleep with her. During her time floating in the sea of deep emptiness, she had from time to time had visions... like fragments of dreams, breaking through the black veil... yet always the image had shattered in front of her eyes, like a twisted mirror, sending her back into the black.

This felt different. When she had embraced Eva just a moment ago, the woman had felt real.. alive. But still, somewhere deep inside, Iris was afraid of sleeping. What if this was yet another trick? What if she woke up only to find herself floating.. drowning once again?

“...Now I need ya to... never goin’ ba-ack... lean back a bit, so I can wash tha rest of ye... Yer not gonna crawl yer fockin’ cadaver into mi bed like dat, sister... Ohh no... Not gonna ‘appen!”, pale viera dipped the luffa into the soap water again, while intently staring at her hand and fingers. She blinked couple of times... it was a peculiar, slow blink, her left eye barely closing at all, and the eyelid moving on a small delay compared to the right. “Now... Feel mi... tell mi about dis frickin’ Irene of yers... I need to be sure o’ sumthin’...”

“W-wait...you’re staying? R-really?” Evangeline lifted her head to try to look at Iris, who was now behind Eva, scrubbing at her back and shoulders. Eva couldn’t believe it. She had been sure...absolutely sure...that Iris would have flown the coop, as it were. But maybe...something really had changed in Iris. She assumed she flushed at the mention of her sleeping with Irene...but couldn’t feel it the same way she usually could.

“We...slept in the same bed. No sex...no need to worry about that particular situation. She was just...comforting. That’s all.”

I guess ya can sleep in mi room…

Evangeline blinked, looking into Iris’ eyes. Was she...sincere? She looked it. If she was...this was the kindest thing Iris had ever even thought of doing for her. Maybe...maybe it was possible. Maybe they could be friends, after all. Maybe Iris, under all of her deception...her difficulties...was a good person. She shook her head in an attempt to free her face of the incredulous look it must be wearing.

Evangeline slowly started to unfurl herself, spreading out at first, and then collapsing back into the water with a splash as Iris moved away from Eva’s back. She lay on her back, half-floating in the still-rising water, and stared at the ceiling. She felt the tension finally start to leach out of her. The grime and dirt floated away from her, one with the ripples in the water that exuded from Eva as she moved slowly in the calm surface of the bath.

“I...would love...to sleep in your room. Th...thank you. That’s really nice of you.” Eva could feel herself calming down, her desperate fear fading for now.

“As for Irene...she was a spellcaster...made little dancing lights. Even healed the burn on your arm, from that boiling water. She said she grew up in Gridania...and didn’t seem acquainted with much in the way of etiquette. She ate with her hands, and didn’t seem to understand talking with people very well. She was sweet, though...kind and caring. She tried to make people feel better. I don’t think Lord Blacksoul particularly appreciated it...but I think he has cornered the market on being the grumpiest old man I’ve ever met. She was always talking about how this house has such dark memories...and she would talk to the paintings. Ask them questions about the house’s past. But the strangest thing about her...was her eyes. They seemed dead...soulless. Which was such a difference from how she acted. Her eyes were how I could tell it wasn’t you in there...almost immediately.” Evangeline sniffled, but she was fairly certain the tears were over for the night. She didn’t think she had any left in her. She finally relaxed fully, and let Iris wash her, enjoying the feeling quietly.

“We-I was going to grab some food from the kitchen...after the bath. Would you like to join me? I think there’s some leftover pie still...that should help with the taste in your mouth.”

“Well, where tha heck I would go? I kinda live ‘ere, ‘aight? ...Okai, cloose yer eyes... I'm gonna get dat face o’ yers... Fockin’ ‘ell, where ‘ave ya been? Did ya crawl through a frickin’ big Bertha or sumthin’..?”, Iris carefully wiped the soot off Evangeline’s face, using small, circlular motions. As she had got all the mess off, she threw the luffa back into the bucket, and sat down next to Evangeline.

“...Ya can do tha rest by yerself, Cinnabun, yer a big gal...” She was a spellcaster? This little fact had been bugging Iris from the moment Evangeline had mentioned it. How was that even possible? Iris never had any gift for magic. She had once seen a highlander woman lighting a cigarette with a flame cast on her fingertip, and had tried to copy the trick without any success at all. Magic had always been something so far out of her reach. Almost like her whole being was rejecting it. And now Evangeline was telling her this person using her body could cast magic? That was ridiculous... It was... unfair? Am affront, even! Eva had been wrong. The woman was a warrior. Maybe it had been some lousy trick that Eva saw as magic. Yes. That had to be the case. It was not any more magic than Iris was the Archbishop.

One thing was certain, though. This Irene was not the Irene Iris had known. Nor an echo of her. So it was just a coincidence...

“So... Blacksoul is still kickin’ and as grumpy an arse as ever...”, Iris cupped her palms, using them to drink some water, swished, and spat it back into the pool. “‘Ow ‘bout Gramps? For ‘ow long I ‘ave been gone aniway?” A lonely thought crossed her mind, cutting like a glowing hot knife. “...And... Silke? An archmage somewhere, married to sum good-for-nothin’ lad? Nice teeeny little tower and all dat shite?” Iris tried to laugh, but it got stuck somewhere on the way, breaking out as a frustrated sigh. She had no idea for how long she had been under. It had felt like a couple of summers, but it was hard to keep track of time in the pitch darkness... She thought she had also fallen asleep a couple of times, so it was impossible to tell. Evangeline looked quite the same. But being a viera, that meant nothing. “Pie though! Pie sounds frickin’ fantastic! ...And a cup o’ coffee.. and a heckin’ Coffin nail.. Dis head-ache is killin’ mi!“

Evangeline immersed her hair in the water, and rinsed her face, as well as the rest of her body. That...would probably do it. No more grime...finally. She drew her hair forth from the pool, a mass of dark red sloughing off water as it pulled away from the surface of the bath. She smiled slightly at the nickname Iris had given her so long ago. A part of her had missed it...that one, specifically. Something about it fit perfectly. Though she certainly wasn’t going to complain about the sweet nicknames Irene had been giving her. She hoped she would be able to hear those again, someday.

“I’ve been making something. I’m hoping that Lord Blacksoul will find it useful...a gate for the front walkway. It feels a bit absurd to me that there wasn’t one here before...it’s the most basic level of security. Closing the gate and locking it is the easiest way to prevent the vast majority of intruders from wandering onto the premises. It won’t stop everyone, but it’s a step in the right direction as far as basic safety is concerned.”

Eva seemed to have righted herself mood-wise. Best to distract herself in the interest of preventing any further breakdowns. Irene may be gone now...but hopefully she would return at some point. And for now...this was a new version of Iris that Eva was enjoying quite a bit. Something had certainly changed...Eva wasn’t entirely sure what had transpired while Iris was locked away in her mind, but maybe it, as well as Silke, had given Iris the push she needed.

“Arsene? He’s fine…” Evangeline trailed off as she saw Iris’ face drop, mentioning Silke. Assuming that Silke was...married off? How long did she think she’d been gone?

“Iris...you haven’t been gone nearly as long as you seem to think. It’s been about four days since you were...lost to us. A lot has transpired, sure...but it hasn’t been months. And no-one has gone and gotten married...nothing quite so ridiculous.” Evangeline grimaced slightly at the mention of Silke’s name. The woman had done no wrong, but Eva couldn’t help but feel a twinge of resentment bite at her. That little green jealousy monster whipped its tail at Eva’s insides...just once. Just enough for her to struggle. But she held it back and quickly corrected her expression.

“As for Silke...we will have to write her. Both she and Lord Blacksoul have departed from Ishgarde, for fairly different reasons. Silke’s studies called for her to take a semester abroad, and it seems Lord Blacksoul was wanting for some...front-line experience. I can’t understand it...but who am I to stand in the way of men and the stupid things they choose to do?” Evangeline sighed, and finished rinsing her body off. She stood up and moved to fetch herself a towel to dry herself with.

“I don’t know if you remember it, but we participated in a rather disastrous dinner party. Someone named Asagi...her daughter...and Silke were invited here. The entire night was a mess, and I’m honestly surprised neither Arsene nor Varg had a heart attack at some point during the party.” The towel she dried herself with was still a bit scandalous for her to be wrapped in, but at this point she was too tired to care. Eva wrapped another towel around her hair and ears.

“That was when I brought Irene to Silke...and Silke was able to pull you out for just a moment.” Evangeline tried desperately not to think about that night...the feelings she had struggled with...and the heartbreak she had to endure. She closed her eyes briefly, taking a deep breath and willing her hastily reassembled heart not to shatter again in the middle of the damned bathroom.

“She requested communication should your condition change. You can write her the letter tomorrow if you’d like...and I’ll see that it’s posted.” Evangeline offered Iris a towel.

“Let’s get that pie, shall we? And coffee…” She trailed off, wondering if she should mention the cigarettes. It would be healthier for Iris to go without them...and Eva rather disliked the smell regardless. After thinking for a second, she concluded that they weren’t nearly close enough, and handed off the towel, moving towards the door, and some food, at last.

As Eva mentioned Iris had only been away for some days, the pale viera could do nothing but stare at her companion, like one had just told her the sky is green and seas are made of rolanberry jelly.

“...Excuse me? Fockin’... f-four days? D-Dat can't be... It can't..” she shook her head in disbelief, while getting up from the bath, and reaching for a towel.

“...I... I was in dat frickin’ bottomless ocean for... at least..t-two summers... Dat d-doesn’t make any sense! ...Yer not fockin’ wid mi, Cinnabun, ‘aight?” Nothing made sense to Iris... This feeling was too much for her mind to process properly. How can one be gone for such a long time, while for others, it had been only days?

‘Am I heckin’ losin’ it..?’

She thought to herself, while wrapping the towel lazily around her hips. ‘Madness is not a state of mind...’, a voice in Iris’ head.. a foreign voice of a woman. It echoed from the back of her mind, where a creature was sitting like a canine. A mess of red hair fell in loose curls on her pale shoulders. She had pointy ears, and eyes like those of a corpse. Blood red tearlines ran down on her cheeks, and her black lips were curled up into a wide smile. The most conspicuous feature, though, was a thick, red, fox-like tail, coiling around her legs.

“Irene...”, the word escaped from Iris’ lips, after she had been staring into distance for a while.

‘...A mind of your mind... our fates entwined...’, answered the voice in a soft tone. Iris closed her eyes, tilting her head to side. The movement was twitching, resembling a person who’s having a dream. As she opened her eyes, they were, once again, the dead eyes of Irene. In the next blink though, she was gone, like a whisper in the wind.

“...Uhh.. So dat really ‘appened? Tha night when Silke was ‘ere..? I thought it was a heckin’ dream.. I’ll need to write sumthin’ for ‘er... Damn... Not a state of mind... Pie though... Just a whisper away... P-Pie sounds like a frickin’ splendid idea! And coffee... Fockin’ ‘ell Evangeline... Can ya please get mi a damn cig? Mi ‘ead is killin’ mi...” Holding her head, Iris trailed past Evangeline to the door, pushing it open into the dark hallway. Somewhere in the darkness she could feel the creature... For a moment, viera thought she saw a dancing orb of flame, lingering around the windows near the door, only to soon realize, it was just the glowing hint of the street lights on the walkway. She turned to Evangeline, standing with her on the doorway. “Yer fox is still ‘ere, by tha way...” Pale viera stepped into the hallway, as her eyes had started to adjust into the darkness. Why had no one lit the lanterns anyway? The place was like a grave.

“...Never goin’ back..”, she whispered to herself, while feeling her way with her fingertips. She could hear Evangeline’s steps right behind her.

Evangeline stopped dead in her tracks.

“Did you say two summers in a bottomless ocean? That’s...that’s so horrible.” Things were starting to piece themselves together now. Eva had been wondering how or why Iris had changed so much in just a few days...wondering what had happened to her. Wondering why she had seemed just a bit more unhinged than usual. Even through the haze of Eva’s despair, it was a bit obvious. If she had been trapped...imprisoned in her own thoughts for two summers...Evangeline could think of few things more mentally traumatising than that. Eva’s heart plummeted when she realized how awful she had been to Iris. Iris, who had been...drowning? At the bottom of an ocean...for years. And Evangeline had been concerned with her own stupid feelings. Her stupid dreams of a stupid relationship that wasn’t ever going to happen in the first place. Poor Iris...she needed some support right now. Evangeline hoped she could provide it. She moved closer to Iris, placing a gentle hand on her shoulder, when she heard Iris speak.

Irene... Iris was looking through Evangeline, eyes vacant, directed at something that could have been behind the tall, muscular viera...or something that could be a thousand malms away. Eva was ashamed of it...but her heart leapt at the mention of Irene’s name. Eva kept her focus on Iris, though. The woman needed help from her...not another treatise on how she wanted to see Irene again. Before Eva could open her mouth to say something, Iris closed her eyes and spasmed, eliciting a jump from Eva. “Iris? Are you okay?”

She got closer to the waifish girl, eyes radiating concern as she tried to understand what was happening. Iris’ eyes snapped open, revealing Irene...just a hint of her. Irene’s eyes were truly unmistakable...although Evangeline thought she had imagined it for a moment, as the eyes flicked again. When she reopened them, they were back to Iris’ deep purple pools, filled still with life and fire that she continued to deny was present there. Evangeline shook her head, trying to clear her perspective. Taking another look over the pale woman, she nodded numbly at Iris, who had started talking about Silke again. What did this mean? Did she want Irene back so desperately that she was seeing things? Constructing that gate must have taken more out of her than she had thought...there was no way that Irene could be making herself known again. If she was even still there. Iris had hardly ever switched with the first ‘other’...what evidence did Eva have that it wouldn’t be the same with Irene? She was being too hopeful.

Iris wandered past Eva, who let her hand fall away without any resistance. The spindly figure was holding her head...best to get her something to eat. Some actual water too, maybe. Perhaps she was dehydrated. She followed after, trying not to intrude too far into Iris’ space. She wasn’t sure if her presence was helping, or hurting. Best to be careful for now...she didn’t want to upset Iris if she could avoid it. Iris turned to her, throwing a few words over her shoulder as if they were the peel to a banana.

Yer fox is still ‘ere, by tha way…

Eva’s heart, which had just started to settle down, felt as if it were about to try and climb out of her chest and up her throat. This was confirmation. It was real. Irene was still there...and Eva had probably seen her eyes for just a moment too. A valve opened in her body somewhere and relief flooded throughout every inch of her. She could feel her body relaxing...as long as Irene would come back...for sure...Eva could wait. She would absolutely wait...and she would do her best for Iris, too. She hurried after the retreating figure, following her into the kitchen, and busied herself with starting the coffee brewing. Sweeping around the kitchen like a seasoned housewife, she fetched a plate, and smoothly slid a slice of pie onto it, filled a glass with water, and presented both to Iris, who Eva quickly noticed had taken a seat at the table, still rubbing her forehead.

“There...maybe this will help a bit. Oh!” Eva spun on her heel, almost floating to the silverware drawer, and wrapping her fingers around a clean fork, which she placed delicately next to the pie.

“The coffee should be ready soon...and…” Evangeline grimaced. She didn’t feel comfortable enabling it...but she didn’t want to cause any unnecessary friction with Iris.

“Where do you keep your cigarettes? I can fetch one for you…”

To be continued..

#ffxiv #evangeline cross #iris ymir #the coils of d'espair; irene #viera #rava viera #veena viera #drama #writing #rp #mateus rp #crystal rp #ffxiv rp #long post #i had a blast writing this #there are still going to be probably 2-3 more parts #and this isnt even the tip of the iceberg

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iris-ymir · 5 years ago

Text

Guilty or Innocent - Iris

Asked someone to marry you?

“No. Not mi thin’. The whole... damn idea about marriage and shite? I dunno. Like... spending rest or yer life with the same person? Absolutely! Its just... Dont get mi wrong here! But the whole mess about marriage, and such.. It sounds so damn artificial. Do I wanna live with someone for the rest of mi years? Sure! But I dont need a fockin’ ring to prove it to anyone.. Then again.. If someone was to ask mi to marry her? Yeah, why not? If ya want a damn ring, lets get a damn ring!”

Kissed one of your friends?

“Shite... Well, yeah. About that... I have kissed many of mi friends actually.. And let mi tell ya. It always ends up into a fockin’ mess. One way or another! I... guess I should stop kissin’ mi friends..?”

Danced on a table in a bar / tavern? “You.. happen to know what Im doin’ for livin’? Yeah. Basically that.”

Ever told a lie?

“Just show me a fockin’ person who has not, and I’ll show ya a bastard who’s lying right there, on dat very damn moment! We all lie... Some more than others, but thats not the point, righto?”

Had feelings for someone you can’t have?

“Yeah... Ya remember I just told ya about kissin’ mi friends and shite? Well dat. I messed up real good. Like... the royal mess up! I still have feelin’s for her... Could rip mi damn heart out for her... But I think she just might be lost for mi for good... Im not giving up though! But as thin’s are.. What happened between us... Heck. It might be a lost fockin’ cause.”

Ever kissed someone of the same sex?

“Im... so very much a bean flicker, ya know? Never had interest in opposite sex... Does dat answer yer question?”

Kissed a picture? "No? Seven hells, why would I be suckin’ on some damn piece of paper?”

Slept until 5pm? “Im a night owl.. I wake up sometime durin’ the afternoon. So yeah. I will sleep until 5pm, if you dont come and wake mi up. Which is fockin’ annyin’ by tha way.. Just let mi sleep..”

Worked at a fast food chain / restaurant “Nope.. And dont have a slightest interest in such! ...I would make a fockin’ horrible restaurant worker... Now this.. may sound rather miserable, but my current job is actually mi first real day job ever! ...Or well.. A night job? Anyway.. Yeah.”

Stolen something? “I would say... Try living on streets of fockin’ Limsa Lominsa for good 10 summers, and then... if yer still alive and kickin’, try asking yaself dat question! ...Yes. I have stolen for livin’.”

Been fired from a job? “As I mentioned just a moment ago, this is mi first day job ever... And I have been able to keep it so far! ... And Im about to keep it! I want to see the faces of every poor bastard, who ever said I could not get, let alone keep a job! And well... I actually kinda like mi job, so there’s also dat. And I get a decent money out of it.”

Done something you regret? “... Really? We need to go back to this again? I had.. a really bad week some time ago, ya know. I did.. lot of shite.. The whole thin’ is just.. so foggy in mi head, its annoyin’! But yeah. I think I almost slept with mi friend.. broke lot of stuff.. a damned heirloom notestand.. And in the end, I went and kissed another friend against her will... The... one I fockin’ love.. Damn, I miss her. But it was not mi damn fault!! I had just like the shittiest week ever! ... I dont know... Maybe some of it kinda was.. Can we just go on? I focked up, okai..?”

Laughed until something you were drinking came out of your nose? “Nnno. Cant remember such thin’. Sometimes a drink has gone like... into mi nose for one or another reason... But actually out of it? I dont think so. Then again, who am I to say! One just cant remember everythin’ ya know?”

Caught a snowflake on your tongue? “No, I have not. Tha Shrimp does it, so.. technically I have? But as miself? No. I have not. On purpose at least.”

Sat on a roof top? “Used to do that in Limsa Lominsa. It was.. an awfully calming feeling, ya know? To get away from all the shite, going on down on the streets. Just... sit alone, watch the ships getting loaded.. Watch them sailin’ away. I dont do it anymore though.. The roofs in Ishgard are fockin’ slippery.”

Kissed someone you shouldn’t have? Iris gives the other a long, dead stare. “... Fockin’ really?! Didn’t I just told ya dat. Ya want some heckin’ details?! Right! So, yes, I was wasted... I shouldn’t have to... And damn yes, it was foolish of mi! Silke. The gal I fancy.. Ya know the type that just... puts damn butterflies into yer tumtum.. rises yer head up to the fockin’ pink clouds faster than anythin’ ya can buy from the streets of Ul’dah.. A damn purdiful fockin’ lass... Damn best thin’ that ever happened to mi... And I focked it up by hecking going and kissing her! So... Ya happy with dis subject now, or are ya gonna poke dat infected wound some more? If so, Im done with dis...”

Sang in the shower?

“Ummm... No.”

Been pushed into a body of water with all your clothes on? “Pushed? I... dont think so! Thrown into water with mi clothes on though... Yes! And I tell ya now! That damn merchant had a heckin’ cart full of those apples! Most of dem would have gone on waste aniway! But nooo.. I get thrown into sea, for one damn apple! One apple!! And it was not even worth it. The apple was dry like Sagolii sand the merchant’s fockin’ muffin-hole was propably full of!”

Shaved your head? "Well, I did not!! Blacksoul did durin’ the time he fockin’ kept mi as his personal damn doll or somethin’.. So yeah! It is growin’ back now, but if it looks like a damn rake-raped crow’s arse to ya, its not my fault!!”

Made a boyfriend / girlfriend cry? “I... dont know, actually! Not during mi time with her, no. We kiinda only had a fleetin’ moment though, so did not ‘ave like... too much time to make the lass cry! ... I guess she still believes mi to be dead though. So its possible she cried for mi presumed death in the hands of her husband’s underlin’s... I hope she did... Yeah.”

Shot a gun? “I did, yeah! Ya know... One of those Ishgardian ones. Loud... lot of smoke... A decent kick. Kinda like a bar night to live for! You know, Im actually even rather decent with guns.. Not my style, though.”

Still loved someone you shouldn’t? “You gotta be kiddin’ me!! ... Oh wait. Someone I shouldn’t? I dont think so... Seven hells, we heckin’ belong together!! ...She has just... yet to understan it... She will! Sooner or later... Hopefully sooner. Fock’s sake, I miss that silly gal and her nice ass...”

Have / had a tattoo? “Yeah, the one around mi eyes. I also have another one on mi thigh... Iris flowers and thorns... Four of dem. For four kinda important people in mi life. From which, I have actually lost... every single one... Fock’s sake, whats wrong with mi?!”

Liked someone, but will never tell who? “Nno. I have... some difficulties in the ‘never tell’-thingie. Im more of a... ‘tell too much’-type o’ person. But ‘ey! Kinda honesty is a good thing, right?”

Been too honest? “If bein’ too ‘onest means kiinda colorin’ the truth a little to make it hit on the mark better. Yeah. I guess so. I just may overact a bit time to time! But den again... Makes the truth more interestin’ huh?”

Ruined a surprise? “No, I hardly part-take in suprises in general...”

Been told that you’re beautiful by someone who totally meant what they said? “Actually... No. I dont know!! Well, mi first girlfriend did, but did she totally mean what she said? Damn, I dont know... Considerin’ the fact she... most likely kinda sold mi out not too long after, it makes it heckin’ hard to believe anythin’ that ever crossed those sweet crimson lips of hers! I wonder why no-one has ever said it though... Im smokin’ hot!! ... So tell me. Am I beautiful..? Hm?”

Stalked someone? “If we call people watchin’ stalkin’ here, then Im damn guilty as a plague rat! But like... in the creepy wai? No! Why the heck would I do somethin’ like that. Dats just sick...”

Thought about murder? “If someone has just taken a royal shite on ya, sweet damn, thats reason enough to just shank the bastard, and scatter the innards into the sea! Most people are so fockin’ rotten though, I dunno if even damn fishies care for their foul organs... Could always make dem into a bagpipe and gift it to their family and friends... Maybe then they could actually get a taste of whut kinda shitebag they been hangin’ around with...”

How about mass murder?

“... Well, as dey say... Apple does not drop far from a tree, and sometimes those apples are rotten before dey hit the ground. So yeah. The last question in mind, why not?”

Cheated on someone? “No! Think anythin’ you want of mi, but Im fockin’ devoted!! ... Well, I have only had one relationship, that lasted for like... couple of months... But damn I was devoted... Up until she choose her husband over mi...”

Gotten so angry that you cried? “Happens time to time... Cryin’.. cleans the system, ya know. Just... Get into middle of nowhere, and scream yer lungs out!”

Tried to stay away from someone for their own good? “... Im kinda doin’ that right now. Dey will be better off without me. She’s got her damn hero dere, taking care of her... Where does she even need mi anyway? Heck, we barely even knew eachother... ... I think Im better off without dem too.. Shite.. Dey were awfully nice towards mi though.. Do I really miss dem? ... Maybe. But it all went down in flames and bloody sheets, can we talk about somethin’ else?”

Thoughts about suicide? “Sometimes the road just rises up against you... I kinda understand it on some occasions! But overall? Kinda waste...”

Had a girlfriend / boyfriend? “Yes? That one mess I mentioned earlier? Ya payin’ attention to dis?”

Gotten totally drunk during a holiday? “Used to... Especially in Limsa, it was kinda mi way to get over the holidays. Hated to see bastards walking around all merry and shite. So I drowned mi holidays in a glass. Last Starlight was different though.. Blacksoul kinda forced mi to stay sober over the holidays... Well.. Mostly sober... Dont ya go tellin’ the old goat, but I... I think I kinda liked it. The whole Starlight with Blacksoul and Gramps... I had never really celebrated it with anyone... As miself. Heck, I just wanted mi Silke to be there, heckin’ messin’ around... I wonder if she ever got mi gift...”

Tagged by wonderful @mai-takeda!! 🌹 This was lot of fun..

Tagging @umbralich (Silke) @sharkycatsifoh @hangedemperor @kyrie-silverwings @under-the-blood-moonlight @alun-ura @isuke-ejinn @ishgard @torr-sceadu @lydha-lran @glorysworn @lavender-hemlock @kazexvoss @glorified-thieves @captainkurosolaire @illia-ast @thefreelanceangel @sdavi-kitanni @kitsune-kirei @violet-warder @desimirffxiv @unatobajhiri @gildedandgolden @eo-sul @robyn-sawyer @eitur & anyone who wants to do it! Cansider yourself tagged!

#the Iris within #guilty or innocent #rp #viera

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do-not-call-me-meathead · 5 years ago

Text

aposiopesis (part two)

My Orphan Black fic on A03

part 1 part 3 part 4 part 5 part 6 part 7

@agoddamnsupernova

Scott wasn’t saying anything. Not that it was incredibly odd that he wasn’t talking, but Cosima could tell that there was something that he wanted to say, but was holding it back. She didn’t know if it was something about her and Sarah or about his few hours with Felix, but she could tell that he was keeping it quiet for a reason unbeknownst to her.

“Where did Felix take you?” She asked him to try to get him to start talking. She even poked him a few times, but he didn’t seem to notice. He was lost in his own thoughts.

Scott blushed and answered sheepishly, “A few bars.”

It was vague, but Cosima didn’t want to press for more. Scott had always shown her privacy and respect when it came to her personal life, and she didn’t want to push him away with any of her own meddling.

“Well, thank you. Seriously, dude. Sarah and I… we needed that talk, you know?”

Scott nodded and swiveled in his chair to finally look at her. “You looked really happy when we walked in. Felix told me he was worried about it, but I guess it all went alright? Not that I know what’s really going on. But my point is, I haven’t seen you that happy in a long time.”

Cosima could read between the lines. She knew that he was really saying that he hadn’t seen her this happy since she was with Delphine. She didn’t know if that was exactly true. Delphine made her feel electric and passionate and vibrant. Sarah… Sarah made her laugh and feel warm. It was different.

“Everyone’s having a rough time right now. I think… it was just what we needed at the moment. Did Felix tell you about Alison and Donnie?”

A text early in the morning the next day made Cosima wonder if Sarah ever slept. Not that Cosima hadn’t been awake when she received the text. Kendall’s death had been plaguing her dreams. Sometimes Kendall was replaced by Delphine and she imagined seeing them getting killed over and over and over again. She wondered if Sarah had similar nightmares.

The texts turned into a phone call.

"Oi, Cos,” Sarah murmured softly with an almost husky-just-woke-up voice that made her accent sound that much more pronounced. "Hope I didn’t wake you."

“You’re fine, Sarah. Any news? On MK or Donnie or…”

"I think Alison’s able to visit Donnie today. With Fee and Adele. I’m hopin’ this turns out to be a My Cousin Vinny scenario with Adele and she’s secretly a genius or somethin’. Or it could be total shite. I’ve been warned to keep out of it."

Cosima chuckled at the idea of Sarah actually staying out of something (she didn’t think that was possible). She could imagine Mrs. S begging Sarah to bite her tongue about Adele being the family lawyer.

“And Felix is going to tell Adele that Alison is your…”

"Twin. I dunno how we’ll keep all this from her but whatever. Art’s still pissed, though, even if this all because of Neolution. But I can’t really judge Alison with the drugs, though, can I?"

“We all do stupid, impulsive things, right? Isn’t that what you said? None of us are perfect.”

"Oi!" Sarah shouted in a tone that would have scared any person who didn’t know her well, causing Cosima to snort. "Are you sayin’ I’m not perfect, Niehaus?"

“Yo, my hands are in the air in surrender, Manning. I’m not saying anything.”

Sarah laughed, her voice ringing slightly, causing an echo on the phone. Cosima wished that she could hear the laugh in person. Her laugh always sounded raw, like her voice wasn’t completely used to it.

"I guess there’s a reason why they call you smart, Cos. Speakin’ of, MK did call. She’s gonna hook us up to Susan somehow. I told her that you need to be involved too. I’d come over to you but… S is under the impression that Neos might be after me."

That didn’t surprise Cosima in the slightest, but it did make her wonder about Sarah’s foster mother. “How’s Siobhan doing?”

"She’s not angry with me anymore, but she’s angry, Cosima. Not at you or us or anythin’. But at Neos and Evie Cho and Duko. Kira’s ‘specially worried ‘bout her. I dunno, Cos. I feel… like something's happenin’. Or about to happen. I dunno who to trust."

Cosima understood that feeling better than anyone. Trust was something that was easy for the scientist to gain, but once she loses it… She immediately thought of Delphine and Shay and how she hadn’t felt like she could completely trust someone she was sleeping with for years.

“I know, Sarah. But there’s a bunch of people that are on our side. It’s my turn to be optimistic. We’re going to get the cure and we’re going to destroy Neolution.”

Sarah sighed with what sounded like tiredness. "Yeah, but at what cost?"

.......

Her screen was blank for a few minutes until she could see everyone. Sarah, Susan, Rachel, and MK. This was what she was waiting for. Scott was by her side, which was reassuring. The two of them had finally come up with an idea for a cure that might actually work.

“Yo, Rachel.”

"Yo."

The rest of the conversation wasn’t as exciting as those first words. She was surprised that Rachel and Sarah hadn’t begun fighting on the video call, but there was something strange happening on Sarah’s end that made Cosima question what was happening over there at the safe house. She was even more caught off guard when Sarah had shut her computer off while they were in the middle of a conversation with Susan and Rachel, not that it seemed to faze them at all.

It was time for her to finally voice her idea. She didn’t want to work with them. She barely wanted to converse with them. But the only way she could actually pull off this cure was with their help.

“So,” Cosima finally began, knowing that she couldn’t hold back any theories if she ever wanted a cure (even if that meant working with their enemies). “I have a couple of ideas.”

........

She had texted Sarah. More than once. She didn’t want to bother her, but she was concerned with how abruptly she ended the video call. She tried to not read too much into it (Sarah was infamous for her unread text messages) but it was almost impossible to not be worried with everything else going on.

And besides that, she needed to talk to her. After hours of debating possibilities for the cure, they could only come up with one possible solution. One possible solution that Cosima actually thought might work. She hated to admit it, but Susan and Rachel were fairly brilliant. They kept up with all her insane thinking.

She was excited to tell Sarah about this new possibility, but she was also terrified. Not only did she need some of Sarah’s eggs, but she would also have to go to the island to actually do the science in a lab that was much more qualified than their own.

The door blasted open, interrupting her thoughts and conversation with Scott about what she would have to bring to the island. She was surprised to find Siobhan standing at the door with a huge ass gun in her hand. On instinct, Cosima almost raised her hands up in the air, but S didn’t look angry at her.

“Duko’s comin’ here. Art and Sarah too. You two are going to stay down here and not say a word. No matter what. Got it, loves? Don’t come back up until someone gets you.”

Cosima and Scott shared a look but they didn’t have the time to ask her about what the hell she was talking about. It frightened them, but they followed her directions. They knew not to go against her orders (that would be a death wish).

Both of them listened intently to the room above them, but they could only hear murmurs of familiar voices. Cosima had expected screaming or yelling or something horrifying as that, but she barely heard a thing until… the indistinguishable bang. Cosima immediately grasped Scott’s arm. After Kendall’s murder, she had hoped that she would never have to hear gunfire again. After a few minutes, the door opened for a brief second, but only for a short enough period for Hell Wizard to enter the basement.

“Duko’s dead,” Hell Wizard announced, looking as pale as a ghost. “Detective Bell and Sarah left.”

Cosima felt like fainting. She thought the idea of anyone else getting murdered would be horrifying, but part of her actually felt a wave of relief to find out that Duko was dead and wouldn’t hurt anyone else in the family. She knew Kendall’s death was only partially avenged. They still had to find a cure and put a stop to Evie Cho.

She felt her pocket buzz.

Sarah Manning: i gotta see kira, i’ll come clean tomorrow, S’ crew will be there in a few to get the body

Cosima Niehaus: Are you OK, Sarah?

Sarah Manning: i’ll update u tomorrow,,, pls dont go upstairs

Cosima thought about texting her back, begging her to tell her everything, but she knew that she couldn’t push her. That it would only push Sarah away from her. Instead, she put her phone down and announced to the others what Sarah had told her.

Scott just shook his head and returned to the computer while Hell Wizard offered a pot brownie. Cosima didn’t refuse.

.........

Someone was shaking her awake. She didn’t know when she fell asleep (or how exactly she fell asleep after last night) but when she woke up, her head ached. Somehow, Hell Wizard must have convinced her to drink too. Not a good mix.

“You okay, geek monkey?” Sarah asked her with pure concern and crossed arms. “Party hard or somethin’?”

Cosima sat up, rubbed her eyes, and realized that it was just the two of them in the basement. “Where’s--”

“When I got here, Scotty boy and Wizard boy were both scrubbin’. They don’t seem too thrilled with my presence.”

Cosima rolled her eyes. “Well, most people don’t like it when you kill someone a few feet away from them. But hey, that’s just a guess.”

Sarah glared at her. “Piss off, Cos. I thought you’d be the last person who’d be angry at Duko’s death.” When the scientist looked away from her, she sighed. "Cosima, S had to. For Kendall.”

“I get it, Sarah,” Cosima snapped. “I just would have liked to know before it happened, you know? A little heads up or something? Because dammit, Sar. I would have liked to not be here when it happened.”

Sarah sat down onto the bed next to Cosima and stared at her own muddy boots. “Loads happened yesterday, Cosima. I know that sounds like an excuse, but it’s true. Alison was threatened by Duko to give up my location in return for not knockin’ Donnie off. The only way to make sure no one died was to kidnap Duko and kill ‘im.”

Cosima raised her eyebrows. Sarah wasn’t wrong. A lot had happened. “But that doesn’t mean that you shouldn’t have called me at the very least. Jesus, Sarah! Why can’t you just let someone into your life so you don’t have to go through all this alone?”

Sarah jumped up and headed for the stairs, ready to run away. Back turned to the scientist, Sarah said, “I should’ve told you. You’re right, Cos. I didn’t mean to keep you in the dark. But I can’t… I fucked that up. Shite. It’s what I do.”

Cosima’s anger dissipated from her body, though she didn’t quite know why. “You’re so dramatic, Manning. And I thought Alison was bad.”

The lighter tone in the scientist’s voice made Sarah turn around. “That’s the worst thing you coulda said to me. She’s a bloody theater actress for fuck’s sake. Though, I did grow up with Fee. Maybe he rubbed off a lil on me, yeah?”

“Just a little. But seriously, Sarah. Why are your communication skills so damn awful?”

Sarah only shrugged and felt her body condense into itself. She didn’t want to talk about herself or her fucked up nature or why she was so shit at life. In fact, she avoided those conversations at all costs. Which was why she normally avoided Cosima most of the time too. Cosima was the only one who wanted to know that kind of stuff about Sarah.

She turned around again and said, “Yeah, well, I dunno, do I? I gotta go see Kira--”

Cosima ran over and grabbed Sarah’s hand as she tried to walk off. She didn’t know what to say when Sarah looked at her, her eyes watering and lips quivering slightly (Cosima wouldn’t have noticed if she hadn’t been staring so intensely). She hadn’t wanted to piss her off, but she needed answers. Sarah had almost always been an enigma to her. She wasn’t one at first, not with her bitchy attitude and con artist tendencies. But now that Sarah was their leader, their person, she felt like she knew her less and less.

“Sarah… I’m a blunt person. So truthful to a degree that I like end up offending half the people that I’ve met.”

The other woman didn’t know where she was going with this. “Yeah, good for ya, Cos.”

Cosima grumbled. “What I’m trying to say is, I am going to be honest with you. It’s who I am, Sarah. And honestly, I don’t understand you. You act like nothing affects you until it does. You struggle with loving people and yet you’re the most loyal person I know. And you’re always alright, even when you’re not. I just want to know who you are, but you won’t let me.”

Sarah wanted to let go of Cosima’s hand and run. Run far and fast. But her grip was strong and something in Cosima’s eyes told her that this is what the scientist needed, though Sarah didn’t understand why.

“It’s not just you, Cos.” Sarah confided when she couldn’t think of a way out. “Why do you think I pushed Cal to leave? Why do you think I keep S at arm’s length and left Kira? Felix is the only one who’s ever opened me up. And that’s because he forced me. After years of bloody naggin’. It’s got nothing to do with you, yeah?”

That didn’t make Cosima feel any better. She could have guessed all of that. “But why, Sarah? Why can’t you let me in? Let me help you?”

Sarah sighed and wiped her nose that was running with her sleeve. “Because I’m an orphan, Cos. I grew up unwanted. Jumped from foster home to foster home that was either too crowded, too handsy, or too damn lonely. I didn’t have someone like you growin’ up. Or Alison or Cal or anyone. Not until Fee. But even then… Jesus, Cos. Why you askin’ all this?”

Cosima grasped her other hand and tried to smile. “Because I want you to trust me, Sarah. Like I trust you.”

“But I do trust you, Cos. I do. I just wanna protect you from all this shit. That’s why I didn’t tell you about the night I almost ended it with snortin' and drinkin' and shaggin' couples. Or about yesterday. Or all the other shit I’ve kept to myself. You already have so much to deal with. I can take care of everythin’ else.”

Cosima groaned and facepalmed, letting go of the other woman's hands. “But you don’t have to! You’re not the only clone, Sarah! Let someone help you for god sakes!”

Sarah shook her head. “I can’t.”

"Why?"

“Because I deserve this,” She shouted and pounded her chest like she wanted to hit something (and decided to hit herself). “I’ve wasted my shit life doing shit things. Maybe this is the way I can make it better, yeah? You’ve got science, Alison’s got school boards and her plays, Beth was a cop, hell Krystal’s even got cosmetics. I’ve got nothin’. I’m just nothin’ but a shit mother and hustler and lover of abusers.” She fell to her knees before Cosima had a chance to even try to catch her. “Everyone’s better off w’out me.”

“I’m not,” Cosima told her immediately. She crouched down and wrapped her arms around the shaking body. “Listen to me, Sarah. You’re a survivor. Restless, remember? You’re wicked smart. Strong. Brave. You’re my hero. My friend. My… god, Sarah. Do I have to say more for you to understand? We wouldn’t have gotten this far without you. You’re our rock, Sar. Our hope. We need you. I need you.”

Sarah rested her head on Cosima’s lap and held onto the scientist's shirt like she was trying to hold on.

“I feel her, Cos,” Sarah confessed as quietly as she could. “I feel her with me. I see her everywhere. All my dreams are about her. I’m worried that I’m… turnin' into Beth.”

Cosima blinked. She knew that there was a connection between the clones. A connection that couldn't be explained by any science that she was aware of. It was why Kira was unexplainably different. She didn’t understand why Sarah felt connected to Beth (or if anyone else had this feeling), but she wanted to.

“I won’t let that happen. I’ll protect you, just like you protect all of us.”

Instead of telling her about the island and exchange with Rachel like she knew she should have, she dragged Sarah to the bed and commanded her to sleep.

Their fingers intertwined and Sarah, with one last exhale, finally closed her eyes.

...........

Cosima would have never expected Sarah to be cuddly. The lion-hearted girl with the lion’s mane had her body practically wrapped around the scientist’s, her head rested gently into the curve of Cosima’s neck, breathing into her hair. It was surprising and endearing and made Cosima’s heart beat faster than normal. She couldn’t remember being this physically close to someone without sex being involved.

She would have never thought that Sarah would look this delicate as she slept. And she was sure that the punk would be the first to deny it too. She felt Sarah’s warm hands around her body and she didn’t want her to ever peel away. Cosima decided that she could live like this forever. It would be easy, she thought. Simple. The idea of staying this way with Sarah Manning made her grin and smile and it subsequently scared her.

She only felt this way with Delphine.

Sarah had her face. It was obvious and made her shake her head at the idiocy of the immediate thought, but she couldn’t stop staring at it. They had the same face. But it wasn’t the exact same. Or maybe their faces were the exact same and Cosima just imagined little differences because they were incredibly different people with different scars and different stories. Maybe Sarah seemed older because she had done more things and lived a harder life. Maybe Cosima felt younger because she admired Sarah so intensely. But for some reason, Cosima didn’t see Sarah like the rest. She saw her face in Alison, Beth, even Helena. But Sarah?

“Cos, why’re you bloody staring at me?”

Cosima raised her eyebrows. Sarah hadn’t even opened her eyes and yet she somehow knew. She didn’t know if she was freaked out by that or completely intrigued.

“I’d say it was because you’re hot, but I wouldn’t want it to go to your head, weirdo.”

“Narcissist,” Sarah snorted and finally opened her eyes. She moved her body immediately away from the other clone. “Fuck. Didn’t mean to hold you that tight, Niehaus. What time is it anyway?”

Cosima checked the time and sighed. In only a few hours, she was supposed to be in the air on the way to the island and she still hadn’t told Sarah about it.

“Listen, Sarah...” Cosima had already begun to trail off, just looking at the way the punk’s smile faltered and filled with worry and concern. “No, no. It’s nothing bad. Actually, something good. I think… I think we might have figured out the cure.”

Sarah gaped at her and then jumped up out of the bed and shouted, “Holy shite! That’s… that’s… and you’re not playin’? Don’t mess with me, Cos. This is--”

“Real, Sarah. I have good feelings about it. It’s the breakthrough we were all waiting for.”

“That’s bloody amazin’, Cos,” she muttered and ran her fingers through her mane of hair, still gaping in awe with disbelief. “You’re brilliant. I always knew you’d figure it out.”

Cosima felt her stomach knot. She had left out the worst part of the news. On purpose. Knowing Sarah’s moment of pure joy would soon vanish and be replaced with… well… she hoped that it wouldn’t be anger.

She opened her mouth, but Sarah had already started talking again. Shouting, really. In a strangely unlike-Sarah kind of way that would have normally made Cosima extremely thrilled.

“Kira’s gonna jump up and down when she finds out. Honestly, everyone will. Bloody hell. I could just kiss you right now, I’m so fuckin’ happy.”

Sarah was still grinning as if she hadn’t heard the words that came out of her own mouth. But Cosima heard them. Her mouth felt dry and she felt like her heart skipped a beat. She couldn’t stop visualizing it.

Her mouth on Sarah’s.

She tried to shake it out of her head because she was sure that Sarah hadn’t actually meant that she wanted to kiss her. Besides, Cosima knew that her thoughts would have disturbed the punk. She tried to think about anything else, anything else, but it wasn’t working.

Instead, she blurted, “I need your eggs.”

Sarah froze, no longer jittery, and muttered, “What?”

“For the cure, I mean. We need both Castor sperm and Leda eggs. To make--”

“The original,” Sarah whispered and slouched over slightly. “Yeah, I get it. W-when?”

Cosima scratched her head. “Now would be a good time, actually. I mean, the procedure needs to be done soon. Like really soon.”

Sarah tilted her head with a questioning stare. “What’re you not tellin’ me, Cos?”

Cosima sighed and felt herself wishing that she wasn’t the one who had to tell her this part. “We can’t do this alone, Sarah. We just don’t have the resources.”

Sarah blinked, not connecting the dots yet. “So?”

“So, I’m going to a place with ample resources and… and guidance. I’m going to the island.”

Sarah’s posture immediately changed. She crossed her arms and started pacing around the room, unable to be stopped by any force.

“No. Not with bloody Rachel and Susan.”

Cosima frowned and confessed, “Actually, Rachel’s coming here. With Ira. They’re here to… help. Supposedly. I’m not quite--”

“And you think this is a good idea, ey?” Sarah asked and waved her hands up in her air, getting more pissed off by the second. “Makin’ deals with the devil—“

“Evie Cho and Neolution are the villains here, Sarah!” Cosima interrupted and got up from the bed so that she could walk up to her. “Us not having the cure, that’s our enemy. That’s our killer.”

Sarah shook her head and tried to avoid being near her. “You’ve forgotten all the shit Rachel and Susan have put us through! Cos, I want this cure as much as you do--”

“Really, because I don’t think you’re the one that’s dying, Sarah, even though you sometimes want to.”

Cosima regretted it the second the words flew out of her mouth thoughtlessly. She watched as all the color vanished from the other clone’s face. She and Sarah might not have always seen eye to eye on everything, but she had never made Sarah go silent and pale before. She didn’t know anyone could do that.

Sarah sniffled, backing away from the other woman who tried to reach out, and said, “Yeah, okay, Cos. You got the eggs, yeah? And I’ll play nice with bloody Rachel. I’ll do all this for you, Cosima. Because… Jesus, do I really have to say it out loud? I thought you knew better than anyone that I would do anythin’ to have the sickness instead of you. Jus’ seein’ you… it’s my curse. I’ll give you my bloody eggs.”

She walked away with tears in her eyes. Tears that Cosima knew that she had caused. She slammed her fist into the air and bit her tongue instead of screaming. She didn’t want to scare Scott.

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