#I don't want to go out again tomorrow

[bronzewool]

I just had the most stressful hour of my life.

Work can only help me out so much with this move. They were nice enough to put me up in a hotel and get a hire a car for the first two weeks, but I need to find my footing quickly and get my own apartment and vehicle. Unfortunately there is only so much I can do when I have no credit score in this country and have only my savings to keep me afloat.

I went to a car dealer to look at a car I saw on the website that was fairly cheap. The guy goes to get the keys but can't find them, which means its either at a different lot or its already been sold. Since I'm already here I agree to walk around with him and see what else I might like. He asks for my budget and I give him an honest answer. I can spend exactly X amount on a car. But as I quickly found out cars are expensive over here and nothing is really in my budget.

We eventually go back inside and he introduces me to his manager. The manager recommends another vehicle and we go out for a test drive around the neighbourhood. I'm not thrilled with it, but I'm short on time and I need something quick so I figure this is the best I'm gonna get. We go back to the office and he starts throwing numbers at me, some stuff I expected with additional hidden fees, but it just keeps going and the final price is $5000 more than my limit. Feeling embarrassed, I explain to him why I can't buy the vehicle, and his jolly demeanour quickly drops and he asks me how I expected to drive away with a car that costs X amount. I don't. You suggested the car and dumped a whole bunch of fees on me. I told you what I could afford.

Keeping in mind I'm already out of pocket on the down payment for the apartment, buying a phone sim with a US number, the opening deposit for my American bank account that I can't access yet, the fuel for the hire car, and all the food I'm eating. I won't get paid til next month so my savings is all I have and its practically gone within the first week.

I don't have a credit score in this country so I can't just lease a vehicle which would be the cheapest option and save me a lot of anxiety.

He tries to haggle and I'm feeling even shittier because its just not gonna happen. I didn't go out expecting to spend my max limit in the first place. He still wants to make a sale though and tries to show me some other vehicles, but by this point its 8pm and I've been running around all day and I just don't have the mental energy for this anymore. They both eventually let me leave but only if I see another car on the way out and you know what, I actually liked it. But my mood has hit rock bottom I didn't want to be in that office for another hour finalising the paperwork.

I don't know what I did wrong or what I said, but I felt like I was speaking a different language and wasting everyone's time. I'm not hiding additional savings you can strongarm out of me. I went to you as a customer asking for help and you made me feel bad for not being able to afford more than what I had. If I could afford more I would have told you. I was trying to help you make a quick sale by eliminating what was out of my price range so we could focus on what was in stock. Not present you with a challenge to charm more money out my ass.

[areyoudoingthis]

i oscillate between feeling devastated that ofmd doesn't get to end like it was meant to and so very grateful that it happened at all, that we got two wonderful seasons and that i get to hang out with an amazing fandom full of lovely, talented, crative people

[albatris]

I was not built for work I was built for drinking 1.5L of iced tea and watching the x files

[cerise-on-top]

could you write about Laswell and Farah having a s/o that loves to cook/bake?

Hey! Yeah, sure!

Farah and Laswell with an S/O that Loves to Cook and Bake

Farah: She can be a pretty big eater, actually. She can’t always be, and she doesn’t need too much food either, having learned fairly early on how to get by with very little food, but if she found something really good, and there was plenty of it as well, then she could just dig right in and eat two plates full worth of food. She loves the fact that you know how to cook, and cook well as well. Considering her past, there wasn’t always an abundance of food in her life, and fairly often the food she did get to eat wasn’t very good, so she can definitely appreciate you cooking her a good, nutritious and healthy meal. Will eat your food right up and tell you just how good it is every time, telling you how grateful she is to have you as well. While she won’t always be able to conjure up all the necessary ingredients, you can count on her to bring you some of the things she finds, knowing fully well that you can make something incredible with it. Although she isn’t too big on sweets, she will eat the occasional piece of cake or cookie you make. It won’t happen too often, since she can’t afford to gain too much weight, but she’ll eat it. She’s more likely to take your baked goods and distribute them to her fighters as a small morale boost. All of them know you by now and that you’re a great cook and baker, so everyone always looks forward to what you make. Either way, even if she doesn’t often have the time to do so, Farah loves helping you out whenever she can. Sometimes, when nothing urgent is going on, she might play around with you in the kitchen as well. Putting some flour on your nose, for example, while laughing a bit at your reaction. She won’t waste resources like that often, but she is down to clown around with you when she can.

Laswell: While she may not be the greatest cook out there, she can make some decent meals. She used to have a better feeling for it while she was studying at university and didn’t have the money to just buy some fancy food. Back then she would cook for herself fairly regularly, but these days she doesn’t have the time or energy to cook for herself anymore. She never was into baking either, though. Laswell can appreciate you, who loves cooking and baking, a lot. While she won’t always let you cook on your own, she does love helping you out when she can, there might be times where she can botch just how much of a specific spice goes into the meal. It’s better if you do it. However, you can tell her to do just about anything else, though, and she will. Doesn’t complain about it either, it’s the least she could do when you’re preparing such wonderful meals for yourself and her. Always compliments you on your cooking since it’s always a treat. Like Farah, she will also help you out while baking. She has even less of a clue how to make a good cake, but she can stir the mixture until it has a nice texture and add some ingredients according to you. As she doesn’t have the best feeling for how much goes in, she always uses a small scale you have lying around. When the cake goes into the oven, she usually stays behind a minute or two to watch it for a bit. However, she’s also the one who usually checks up on it to see if everything is going well or if the heat needs to be readjusted. She won’t do so without your okay, though. Once the cake is done she’ll always be the one to take it out, afraid of you burning your hand. Laswell is more inclined to eat sweets than Farah, so she’ll always eat a piece of cake or maybe a cupcake if you’ve made some. Gives you a kiss afterwards if your sweet good turns out especially good, which is almost always in her eyes.

[capn-twitchery]

i need to get over my NPC syndrome (idk what to call it. the 'doesn't feel like i can/too shy to share ideas out of the blue, need to be prompted or invited first' syndrome)

i have so many things in my brain,,,i have lots of idea snippets that i'd like to share!! but there is a wall in the way, and it doesn't help that i'm bad at verbalising things

very annoying!!!

[loopdile]

transcription under the cut!

The worst ship chart ever.

Ship name: Loopdile

[insert very tiny math] Ages: 43 and 31? Age difference: 8?

Portrait of Odile with an eyebrow raised saying "I'm not telling." Name: Odile. Gender: trans woman (maybe nb but idrc rn). Sexuality: Aro lesbian.

Portrait of Loop with a finger raised saying "I'm not telling~" Name: Loop. Gender: Nonbinary (??? what is identity). Sexuality: Ace bi

General sliders. "Relationship starts quickly vs the slowest burn you can possibly imagine" is marked fairly close to slowly and trails off towards slow burn. "They'll be together forever vs They'll break up after 2 months tops" has two marks, one at 2 months and one really close to forever. "Cute couple vs dear god they're ugly" is marked a quarter slider away from cute. "Reasonably healthy and normal relationship vs They're dying and getting killed and hurt man" has a wide mark all the way from the halfway point to a quarter away from healthy. "Extremely popular ship vs literally no one ships this but me" is marked fairly close to no one.

Specific sliders. "Giddy and happy to be in love vs they just killed themselves 40 times in their head at the idea of being in love" has loop at died and odile fairly close to died. "The madoka vs the homura" has loop at homura and odile a third of the slider away. "Telling anyone who will listen about their partner vs rarely brings up that they're in a relationship" has loop a quarter away from telling anyone and odile fairly close to rarely. "eats and/or encourages a healthy diet vs eats dry instant noodles only" has loop at noodles and odile a third away from healthy. "crazy ass vs truck freak" has loop at crazy ass and odile fairly close to truck freak.

Tell me why your ship is interesting... go!

What draws them together? Odile is the only motherfucker that can handle them; Loop is weird and intriguing.

What stands in the way? Poor communication skills; Loop is clingy but Odile often needs space; Loop lashes out and self-isolates.

What are their good traits? They're both hilarious and dedicated to the bit; they're both devoted to their loved ones.

What makes them hopeless at romance? Odile is aro-spec and uninterested in romance; Loop both hates/fears and craves romance; Luckily they can just be something stranger!

Describe them with one trope: found family, deadpan x emotional, secret third thing, I'll protect you from yourself.

[sylvies-kablooie]

i sigh deeply and for a really extended period of time, to the point where you're like wow, where are they getting all of that air to exhale in such a dramatic fashion from? i mean, lungs can't really hold that much... can they? you try to subtly google the capacity of human lungs but i'm still sighing so extensively i don't even notice. and i wouldn't be offended if i caught you either way, because i am just as surprised about the whole thing.

[cranberrymoons]

.

[nenelysian]

Just watched "I Saw The TV Glow" in cinemas and boy did I get chest kicked all the way back to my derealisation episodes when I was like 6 years old.

[fictional-worlds-are-exquisite]

was watching my mum responding to text after text getting frustrated because she wanted to make lunch but people wouldn't stop texting her

and i was like just. ignore them? just ignore the texts? i will ignore texts for hours until i feel like responding sometimes it's fine?

anyway my dad called me shallow for that one lmaoooo

[lovesodeepandwideandwell]

All is well, I'm once again convinced that I'm right about everything

[kirby-the-gorb]

[crossbackpoke-check]

Why I Am Not Coming In To Work Today [abridged], Jess Zimmerman

part one | part two

[iero]

Was so proud of myself yesterday because I didn't have a panic attack for the first day in easily a month to immediately have one as soon as I got back to the place today... When will this end?

[froggyrights]

are you leaving? sorry for asking :/

Not sure yet :') being in this fandom takes such a huge toll on me when shit hits the fan that i cant really justify to myself staying and being invested in the same capacity as I have been. However I love my mutuals and this community too damn much to just up and leave completely 😭 for now im gonna take a break from tumblr and just give it some time. I could never leave tumblr fully though I fear I'm a yapper at heart so maybe I'll just end up posting about whatever. I really don't know ! I'll figure it out !!

[piplupod]

pretty sure i just got a spider bite while trying to fall asleep 🧍