#I don't wanna be associated with awful people -.- | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

hurtspideyparker · 3 months

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In a timeline where Civil War didn't end in divorce and everyone lives in the compound:

Steve, walking into the living room: Don't worry Buck I think you'll really fit in around here. Everyone is super nice

Peter: Oh my god you're living here too?! Can I please look at your arm? Please please please please please-

Bucky: *turns around and leaves*

Clint: So... wanna test if your spider-sense defeats my perfect aim?

Peter: Oh my god do I ever

Tony & Steve: NO.

Peter: Hi. Big fan. Y'know we're like a spider duo. Crime fighting spiders. Arachnid pals

Natasha, staring blankly:

Peter: Web friends? SPY-ders?

Natasha:

Peter: Spinneret associates?

Natasha: Leave.

Peter: Yes okay sorry ma'am

During a meal:

Bucky: *glaring at Sam*

Sam: Ay Rogers come get your dog

Steve: Bucky, leave it

Bucky: *glares down at soup instead*

Peter: Mr. Rogers could you help me with my homework?

Tony: What the hell kid, I'm right here

Bruce: I have... so many degrees

Steve: Hey I know a thing or two myself. Sure Queens, what do you got?

Peter: Great! I'm just gonna ask some questions for my essay. What would you say the role of war propaganda was in your decision to enroll in the military? Was being poor a factor? Actually, how was the Great Depression for you?

Steve: Less depressing than this conversation.

Steve: Take a jacket, it's chilly

Wanda: Okay thanks dad

Steve:

Wanda:

Peter: Ha! That's so embarrassing, it's like calling your teacher dad

Wanda: Shut up Peter, you call Tony dad all the time

Peter: Yeah but I do it on purpose so it's not embarrassing. I'm very open about my daddy issues

Tony: I wanna punch you in your perfect teeth

Steve:

Tony: Looking at me with your angelic blue eyes, like a freak

Steve:

Tony: Stupid Dorito ass build. Making me wanna take a bite

Steve: I feel harassed but I'm not sure what kind

Natasha: Hey bird brain!

Clint and Sam both turn:

Natasha: Hm, that's a problem. You have thirty seconds to decide who gets bird brain. The other will be feather head

Clint and Sam: *start arguing*

Tony: I can't believe they're fighting to be called an insult

Steve: She has that effect on people

Peter: Aw man, I wish the Black Widow gave me a nickname :(

Peter: Hey old man

Bucky:

Peter: I'M SO SORRY SIR MR. WILSON MADE ME DO IT PLEASE DONT KILL ME

Sam: *cackling in the background*

Bucky: *stands up and turns to Sam*

Sam: Oh shit- kid you're not getting the money if you're gonna snitch!

Peter: That's okay, I'd like to think my life is worth more than twenty bucks

Bucky: I need your... help

Tony: Sure, what's up?

Bucky: *glances back at Steve who stands in the doorway and nods approvingly*

Bucky: Arm.

Tony: Ok... this conversation is killing you isn't it?

Bucky:

Tony: Say please

Bucky: Nope can't do it-

Steve: Do I need to get out the get-along shirt?

*Bucky and Tony share a look of alarm*

Bucky: Please fix my arm

Tony: Yep of course no problem buddy

Read Part 2 here

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ckret2 · 4 months

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Ages ago I made a post about what Ford thinks about Bill (in a billford context), and I've had an infodump on what Bill thinks about Ford floating on discord for months, and an ask finally prompted me to post it, so here ya go:

If asked why he likes Ford, Bill himself claims that Ford overthinks everything, but in such fun, interesting ways, and Bill likes the way Ford thinks about things.

But really, Bill overthinks everything too; it's just he overthinks social things. He's always calculating how to persuade, control, manipulate people. He never has a conversation that isn't a chess game, it's exhausting and he won't even admit it's exhausting. When's the last time his top priorities weren't either "how do I convince some sucker to make a portal" or "ugggh I'm so SICK of the PORTAL I'm gonna THROW A PARTY and NOT THINK AT ALL"

Whereas Ford is guy who'd hear someone say something incorrect and bluntly go "no you're wrong" and accidentally offend the hell out of them because he's SO excited to share this fantastic information they don't know. The social world DOES NOT EXIST for him until he's reminded of it.

And so he's free to turn all his brainpower instead to. Like. The environmental impact of barf fairies on fern fertilizer or whatever.

Bill knows Everything™ but he's gotten tired of doing anything with that knowledge. They're all discrete points of information to him. He doesn't have time to muse over things, he's got an inventor to manipulate at 11pm and then a party to get to at midnight. He's never once in his life thought about the impact of barf fairies on the local flora. But he does happen to know the plants in that part of the woods are more acid-resistant and wow is that why???? He's never even thought to think about that before. Thousand year mystery that Bill didn't even notice has been solved.

(On the other hand "Ford doesn't think to think about the intricacies of social interaction" is also part of what makes him so easy to manipulate, he's so much more inclined to just accept at face value a friendly offer of assistance on a big academic project. Sure Bill's helping for the sake of scientific advancement in and of itself, why wouldn't he?)

Bill wants to just, fling random facts at Ford and see if he can think up connections between them. Go nerd boy go nerd boy go

"... So there you have it Ford, that's the problem you'll have to overcome with adapting alien machinery to human fuel sources, now I wanna hear YOUR thoughts on how to overcome that problem." "Well—" talks in an uninterrupted stream that by thirty minutes in has drifted over to the history of kerosene production, which he read an interesting book about between semesters in college— "... I've gotten off topic, haven't I?" "No no, I think you're on to something. This is how brainstorming works, free association of concepts. Keep going."

Ford in the morning: "... oh no I didn't let my muse get a word in edgewise for the rest of the dream, i didn't bore him did I?" Bill: "damn, I never noticed the patent process for hurricane lamps was so contentious. There's little dramas everywhere"

When things are going well, their relationship is,

Ford: "I just wanna hear Bill teach me things about the multiverse forever."

Bill: "I just wanna hear Ford think deeply on any topic that crosses his mind forever."

Both of them when they're in peak harmony: excitedly jabbering at each other at 200 words per minute about the stupidest topic you've ever heard, but you'd need a phd in at least two fields to comprehend it

That's love!!!

Ford, having historically been socially shamed: "... am I being weird?"

Bill: "💕❤️💓yeah❣️💖❤️‍🔥"

Sometimes I think about Bill watching Ford in his sleep and being in awe at this human-shaped genius: you with your beautiful electric mind, packed into this soft flawed uneven body. one would never know it from the outside—but you're in there. This genius with a mind like a galaxy. ... and he's like, growing hair and stuff. wild.

#billford #meta

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jemmo · 8 months

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Making sense of love for love's sake: the game

Despite all the things i absolutely adore about how the plot unravels and expands in love by love's sake, upon first watch, there's some things i couldn't piece together, which @lurkingshan echoes in their post:

'The way the author was messing with Myungha and forcing cruel choices on him really does not track with a desire to help him find happiness.'

And to preface, this is not something i fully get yet either. I think i'll need a good month and a sizeable reading list of relevant resources to understand just what/who this author/sunbae is and what his role is and how he is associated with myungha. But as always with the best shows for meta (aka bad buddy), as a plot unfolds, you can always find a better understanding by looking backwards and re-contextualising what you've already seen. so i watched ep 1, specifically the scene between myungha and his sunbae at the bar. And i will talk about how everything said in this scene has a whole new meaning now we know the full story, but for now i wanna focus on that question that they keep coming back to; "Then... will you change it for him?".

When you watch the show for the first time, your brain follows the simplest, most obvious version of the story you're being told, one where myungha has been pulled into the world of his sunbae's novel that's being turned into a game and given the opportunity to fix the thing he didn't like about it; making yeowoon happy, and thus you just think the rules of the game are imposed by the author, and so when these cruel choices first come up, you see them as the difficult roadblocks that are nevertheless necessary to any kind of game, forcing the player to make an impossible choice so that the game can continue in a certain direction and its only after that you learn whether it was the right choice or not, or there is no right choice, it simply changes the game you are playing.

And when its revealed what this game actually is, at first i tried to interpret these cruel choices, namely the choice between yeonwoon and myungha's grandma, and at best i could come up with the concept of this being a choice between staying stuck to the past aka choosing his grandma, even though he knows that choice doesn't mean she's safe bc he knows the future where he loses here, its an inevitability, but thats the small happiness he knew before it was taken away and thus that happiness is known and safe, theres no risk, versus choosing to pursue a new happiness, a love of yeowoon and thus himself, which he doesn't know, he hasn't experienced yet, and could be risky. Its a happiness that isn't guaranteed like his grandma, but its a happiness that looks to the future and has hope in it that he can find a new happiness to pursue despite what has happened in his past.

And that fits nice, okayish. But then i watched ep 1 and heard that question "Then... will you change it for him?" And watching through the rest of the eps, we come back to this scene at the bar and each time we get a new run up to the author asking this question, either new dialogue is added or we hear a different piece of the conversation entirely. It starts at the beginning of ep 1 as:

"Because Cha Yeowoon is the only one who's miserable." "It can't be helped that some people's lives are like that" "The fact that some people are destined to live that kind of life is what's vile."

Then a bit later in ep 1 we go back and its expanded.

"It can't be helped that some people's lives are like that" "The fact that some people are destined to live that kind of life is what's vile." "Why? Do you think you'd write it differently?" "Yes, definately. Someone like Cha Yeowoon, or someone like me with an awful life, can also be happy."

And then all the way on in ep 6, we get this new dialogue.

"I don't like talking about destiny." "Why?" "Because it means everything is predestined." "Then do you not believe in fate?" "Fate and destiny are the same. My grandma likes to say that. She said life is like a written book, and how you'll live and die are written in it. (...)I don't like things like this. Even if fate is already destined, I think it can still be changed. Otherwise, there's no point in trying." "Really? Then Myungha..."

And while we don't hear the author ask the same question, I feel like him getting cut off like that insinuates that the conversation leads to that same ending point. All that is to say, every time we hear this question being asked, its like we learn more and more about what this whole thing is, what the game is, what myungha is saying he will do by agreeing to do what the author asks. And every time, we see myungha being more defiant against the idea of yeowoon being resigned to his miserable ending. He starts off thinking that kind of life is destined, and while it's miserable, its not something he can fight. Then he says he'd want to write the story differently, bc yeowoon, or even him, could be happy. He challenges the idea that yeowoon, and thus himself, is fated to be miserable, and opens up the possibility for happiness for them both, but doesn't yet have the means or resolve to do it, its like he knows its possible on a fundamental level, but doesn't see it as something he can actually achieve. But then we circle back to the idea of destiny and books, both of which came up in the previous quote, and seems incredibly pertinent seen as this whole thing is about a novel this author has written. Myungha talks about how he hates the idea that life is a book where everything written is predestined to happen, from the moment you live to the moment you die. He says "Even if fate is already destined, I think it can still be changed. Otherwise, there's no point in trying." That vile way of life he described before that he said was destined, he is now saying it can be changed, and that possibility is now something he's holding onto, its what he sees hope in so that he can keep trying, bc now he finally is trying, he has the resolve, he's trying to realise this thing, this impossibility of rewriting the life he thought was destined through the way he loves yeowoon.

And coming back to those cruel choices, given this fresh context, it made me think. bc this isn't actually a game that myungha has been put into where the rules are dictated by an author completely separate from him. He said himself, he'd rewrite it, he'd change things for yeowoon. And when you start to think of it less as him fighting against a rigid, removed system and more like him being a character in a story he is trying to rewrite himself, that has both the author and his own limitations, or just his own if you're in the school of thought that the author is some figment or part of myungha himself or his conciousness, then you can start to see where these cruel choices might come from. They could be myungha, the author making edits to this new story, imposing his own doubts and limitations on himself. When he says he has to pick between Yeowoon and his grandma, what if that's the new author myungha seeing this story unfold and thinking no this isn't right, he can't have it all, i'm not deserving of this much happiness.

And what makes me like this idea even more is that when we get that second choice between ending after 14 days or getting 100 days back at the cost of resetting Yeowoon's affection to 0, that whole conversation happens in what I think the bar actually is which is this frozen moment in time where myungha is in the water with this extension of a voice in his head that is talking through these things. That conversation in itself needs its own post, but when you look at it both as a decision to break up or not or a decision to hold onto life or not, you can see how the author is just this soundboard relaying the decisions myungha is going through in his head. The author's voice is his own, weighing up his decisions. And if he is the author here, it only reinforces that the person making the rules of this game is him. You can even extend it further to the idea of the debuffs, where he puts in place this thing that makes it so he causes harm to yeowoon when he's around, and its only by garnering affection that he can prevent it. He gives himself a reason from the get go to stay away from yeowoon and reason it as him doing it for yeowoon's safety, when in fact the only way to make yeowoon safe is to increase his affection, which he can only do by being near him. Its a system that at first gives myungha a reason to stay away aka not like himself, but ultimately says the only way you're going to make yeowoon like you, or the only way you can like yourself, is if you accept risk. And that in itself screams to me of a myungha writing in these game systems that are trying to encourage his own-self love while falling at the hurdle of his own lack of self-worth.

The idea is still messy in my head even for me, but i just really like the idea that myungha could be trying to fix this thing both as a character and game master, and that both these versions of him have these flaws that manifest in their different ways to cause the events we see. It kinda is the definition of being your own worst enemy, the idea that in order to work towards loving yourself, the biggest obstacle you have to encounter is yourself, bc we are the ones holding ourselves back, making all these rules that make it harder to like ourselves and pursue our own happiness. The voices in our head telling us that we aren't good enough and aren't deserving are our own, and while the things that happen to us can inform what they say, we're the one's reinforcing those words. And what this show teaches us is that, if we're the one holding that pen all along, we can choose to change what those words are. If we make the rules, you don't have to create a game with concrete ultimatums, you can create a game where rules don't control you. Instead, you make the decisions, and you can make the ones that make you happy.

#wow look at me writing actual kinda thought out meta #also something something about how the pen being in his pocket wasnt a pen given to him by the author its a pen that was his the whole time #look even if this isnt the right interpretation as intended by the author i just kinda adore this headcanon ive come up with and i cant wai #to rewatch the show again through this lens and see if it holds up #i just adore the idea of this whole thing being this manifestation of a flawed doubtful person trying to navigate through their own messy #nonsensical thoughts to find their own happiness #bc yes thats what triggered me thinking of this whole thing. me seeing that post and thinking yeah that doesnt make sense7 #but then again when you tell yourself things an put your own mental blocks in the way they dont make sense either but you still have to fin #the ways to work around them in order to find happiness #like those things dont go away we just find the loopholes or the ways to overcome them that mean we can be happy #the game is your own mind - deal with your own existential crisis as you wish #anyway this is only part 1 in what i hope will be a very extensive meta analysis of this show - stay tuned #love for love's sake

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ryker-writes · 1 year

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damn that leech sibling post really made me wanna make them sad, so can i request a scenario where reader starts ghosting them? basically just dodging them and their attempts at conversation, and one day the leech twins hear reader trash talking them. perfectly okay if you can’t!

I'm actually glad I get to do another part to the Leech twins one. This branches off from the original post

For those who didn't see the original leech twins sibling angst, you can find it here

Request rules and Masterlists

Leech Twins as siblings (Broken relationship: No forgiveness ending)

the two of them were spending an awful lot of time around you today and insisting on doing whatever you wanted to do

there wasn't any teasing or insults either

it was very...suspicious

you knew of Azul's magic with making contract and how clever they were at luring people in

so you were a little concerned that they wanted you to sign a contract

deciding not to dance around it you asked

"Are you guys trying to get me to sign a contract or something?"

Floyd was very blunt with his response

"Eh? What would we even need from you? You already work for Azul"

Jade was more polite

"We simply wanted to spend some time with you is all."

he smiled, but it wasn't his menacing one

it was a more genuine smile

they genuinely wanted to spend more time with you

but it was far too late for that

after years and years of being cast aside by the entire family and being called the boring little sibling by everyone was already enough

but then they had you working yourself nearly to the point of passing out every other day, all while they continued to make fun of you

and after all of that, they wanted to try and spend time with you now?

you're too tired to deal with this

to deal with them

you just can't anymore

so, without a word, you just turned and walked away from them

from then on, you did everything you could to avoid them

for about a week after that, Jade made consistent efforts to try and talk to you

he would often try to create conversation during your shifts at the lounge

usually it was about orders or certain customers

each time, you never responded or even looked at him, and continued working

but he was persistent and kept trying every chance he got

it's because of his persistence, everything that happened, and their presence at all that you decided to quit your job with the lounge

no longer would you see them on a daily basis

that's what you hoped

not to long after that you noticed Floyd "coincidentally" passing you in the halls or needing something from your classroom

and of course, he had to try and talk to you while you were there

you made a point to leave the room or pass right by him whenever you saw him

as soon as you left you could hear him grumble and sigh behind you

you were beyond exhausted of them at this point

each day they tried to talk to you seemed to chip away at your nerves

it didn't take long for you to finally express how over it you were

they finally gave up after hearing you talk to one of your classmates

the classmate mentioned wanted help with some of the tougher homework from class

they thought you were still associated with the twins and the lounge, so they came to you asking if your brothers or Azul would be able to help since they seemed smart

at that, you laughed

"Smart? I wouldn't call them that. If they've convinced you that they're smart, then they've managed to manipulate you just like they do everyone else. Those two can't even tell when someone doesn't want anything to do with them. They're pests that don't go away."

sure it may have seemed mean from an outsiders perspective

but they heard it, and they got the point

after growing up being the outsider, constantly ignored in the family, and deemed the boring sibling, they got a little taste of what you went through

but of course, they would never be able to feel the full extent of pain you went through because of them

they completely stopped trying to talk to you after that and finally, you could be away from them

there wouldn't be any chance of them hurting you again now

#twst #twisted wonderland #twisted wonderland x reader #twst x reader #twst jade #jade leech #twst jade x reader #jade leech x reader #twst floyd #twst floyd x reader #floyd leech x reader

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bazpire · 2 months

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Rainy days and warm arms.

Cw: nudity, suggestive, fluff, like pure domestic bliss, Lasko goes into 1 (one) rant, neutral pronouns for dear.

Taglist: @professionallyyappin @jamieeeeee33333

The weather was awful. Dear never really understood that. People would say that and associate it with rain, but truly, they'd never met anyone who actually thought rain or cold days were awful. Bothersome, maybe, but everyone needed some from time to time.

As they sat in front of the window in only their robe listening to the pitter patter of the drops hitting the glass, the sound of keys turning invaded their ears, and Lasko entered the room. A smile crept up on their lips before even turning around to see him, recognising his steps, his smell, his core. They would always recognise when he entered the room.

"Hi, love." They finally leaned their head enough to meet his gaze, and what they found left them breathless. He was soaking wet, no glasses on, with a goofy smile looking at them like they hung the moon and the stars in the sky. "Wha- Lasko, darling, what happened? Are you okay?" They quickly got up, looking around their home for towels.

"Huh? Oh, yeah, t-that or-or well, i mean, this." He looked down at himself as if he forgot everything except their presence. That would've made their heart swell if they weren't worried about him catching a cold. "I- I don't know..." his face got beat red, and he averted their eyes. Quickly, they found a couple towels, leaving two on the couch and bringing the other two to him.

"You should probably take your clothes off." They whispered to him, pressing the towel to his head.

"Huh!?" He asked, looking at them with wide eyes. They just smiled, and quickly enough he became even redder (if that was even possible) "o-Oh, my clothes, r-right, they're all wet and s-soaked, I'm dirtying your floor too, shit, I mean, s-sorry, I'm sorry, I'll take them off right now." He quickly began to undress. They stepped back, leaving the towels by his side.

"I'll go prepare you a bath, is that okay?" They asked gently, looking back at him in his underwear. He looked so flustered. They wanted to kiss him until he couldn't think enough to feel any kind of embarrassment.

"Y-yeah, of course, t-thank you." He smiled, making their heart borderline burst in their chest. They loved his smile.

Quickly, they got everything prepared, the water warm, and they even lit some candles and incense. Maybe it was a bit over the top, but they just wanted to take care of him.

Once they were back on the living room, they found Lasko still by the door, covered with the towels. "What are you doing there, love? Come on in." They softly pulled him in, sitting him down on the couch.

"I didn't wanna m-make more of a mess than I already did." He whispered, looking ashamed. They crouched on the floor, looking for his eyes.

"Hey... I don't care about that. We can clean it up. A mess is just a mess. I care about you being comfortable." Lasko looked at them with that lovely gaze again, like they hung the moon and stars in the sky. Truly, they wanted to blush and squeal, but they took a deep breath in and kissed his exposed knee. "So why were you out in the rain, love?"

Again, his eyes shifted to shame and embarrassment, this time, they reached for his hand and rubbed the back of it with their thumb.

"I- um... I wanted to c-come over, I don't know why, honestly, I just suddenly felt this sudden need of coming over and I would've told you before hand and I know its so rude that I just come on over without invitation or even t-telling you about it but it's like I just needed to be in your presence and it's not like a-anything was wrong! Like I wasn't, I mean I'm not in a sad mood or anything, i wasn't sad but I was missing you and I know i could've called but it was like the rain was saying your name and I wanted to be with you and, and I didn't think about calling in the moment which is so dumb because my phone was right there b-but nope, i just got up and came straight over without even getting an umbrella which thinking it over of course it's dumb for various reasons and- and I'm sorry. For m-making a mess and coming over unprompted." It was like he finally remembered to breathe.

He was everything they wanted to see at all times.

The rosed, just a bit, to kiss his forehead.

"You can come over anytime you want, Lasko. You don't need to let me know you're coming over. You just do it, and my door will be open for you. That's why you have a key."

He blushed even harder, looking like he was about to go into another rant, but they took a deep breath. As much as they loved to listen to him, the water was getting cold.

"You ready to take that bath now, love?" They asked softly, standing up and still holding his hand.

"Y-yeah! I'd - I'd love that. " he smiled while getting up with them and letting them guide him to the bathroom. Once there, he gasped, looking at the dim-litted bath, the nice smells hitting his nostrils and almost immediately relaxing him before even getting in the bath.

He heard the door close and turned around, seeing them looking at him with a small smile and their eyes filled with love and care.

God, they had him in the palm of their hand.

"O-oh? You're, ejem, you're staying?" He asked, feeling himself go red. His blood had gone to his head so many times in such a short amount of time that he was surprised he didn't pass out earlier.

Their smile grew and stepped closer to him. "I'd like to... if you want me to."

"Of- of course! I mean, sure, um, yes, absolutely, I'd love that." Lasko hit himself mentally for answering so eagerly, but the reply made them look all the more happy, and they giggled.

He loved the sound of their giggle.

They got rid of their robe, and that was about it.

Lasko blushed and looked away. "You were naked the whole time!?"

"Yes, hun." They giggled, bending over and testing the water. It was nice, warm, hopefully not too hot. They felt his eyes on them. They liked feeling his eyes on them. "Enjoying the view, love?"

"I- uh, I- I'm sorry, I mean, of course I do, but I'm-I'm sorry for staring, I didn't mean to, I was just..." Dear turned around, holding his gaze with a playful smirk on their lips. "Yeah, I was e-enjoying the view."

They chuckled, throwing their head back and then leaning forward. "Why don't you let me enjoy the view of you as well, Lasko?" They tilted their head, looking down at his towel covered body.

"O-oh! Yeah, right." He laughed as he took them off. "I- I didn't even realise I still had them on. They're very comfortable."

They nodded and tilted their head towards the bath. Lasko quickly moved, getting inside and immediately relaxing when the warm water enveloped him.

"Is it alright?" They asked, and he couldn't stop himself before replying - "it's perfect. You're perfect."

Even in the dim lighting, he could see the faint red decorating their cheeks, making his heart race. They giggled and stepped inside, turning around and sitting down, their back against his chest. "Is this okay, love?" They whispered, resting their head on his shoulder.

"O-of course it is," he stroked their arms up and down, turning his head and kissing their temple. "My dearest."

#redacted asmr #redacted audio #redactedverse #redacted lasko #redacted dear #redacted fanfic #redactedaudio

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some-pers0n · 1 year

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I've got a couple messy feelings on Cleril and how the fandom treats it, so here. Take this rant.

TL:DR: Cleril is good you guys. Trust me.

Maybe it's a sign that the brainrot from writing murderers and people who are so far gone from the general norm being able to be soft and sweet is killing the last remaining sense of reason in me, but I don't think Cleril is as bad as people make it out to be.

Yeah, obviously at first glance this should never work. Saying that Peril isn't the most stable character in the series would be a massive understatement. She is constantly characterized as reckless, clingy, emotionally dependent, and always puts herself down as a monstrous dragon only capable of hurting others. Clay has never shown any sort of romantic interest in her, only being passive and sweet with her in a platonic sense. Peril on the other hand loves Clay to the point of obsession. She practically makes him her moral compass. That sort of idealization isn't healthy.

And...you'd be correct. In that state? There isn't too much of a connection there to begin with. If it were to happen right now, I think it would mostly be out of Clay feeling pity towards Peril. He wants her to be happy and is kind of self-sacrificing like that, but, I don't think he could handle being the dragon who she puts all of this pressure on. To be somebody who she centers everything around.

But, Peril isn't really that dragon anymore. It's like people read Escaping Peril, get to the end, and then think: "Oh wow she sure developed. Not enough to be a healthy character!!" as if Escaping Peril didn't end with her burning Darkstalker's scroll and thinking to herself that she didn't mind if Clay wouldn't approve of it. She was acting on her own volition. She knew that burning it was the correct thing to do. She's moved on from treating Clay like this centerpiece in her soul. This dragon who she treats more like an idea of her conscious to keep her on the right track. She's improved. Getting better.

Peril is a character I think is misunderstood by a lot of people, especially ones that aren't really in her position. I don't wanna be an arm-chair psychologist and spout nonsense, but Peril is heavily traumatized and reminds me a lot of people who get out of these horrible situations and are trying to adapt to a new and scary world all on their own.

Peril had an awful childhood. She was raised to be dependent on Scarlet. Scarlet was the only dragon who was keeping her from being thrown off a cliff by an angry mob. She was manipulated and gaslit into believing that what Scarlet did was good. That Scarlet was the only one who cared about her. That these kind of horrible and unhealthy relationships are something she thinks is normal. When Clay comes around, she does the exact same thing. Puts him on a pedestal. The concept of being treated as anything but a monster is completely foreign to her, so she instantly grows attached. She thinks he loves her. Why else would he be so kind? She associates basic compassion with love because that's what she's been raised to believe.

But, she's healing. Throughout Escaping Peril we see her come to terms with her childhood. She understands that she is not a monster, but rather a dragon who was a victim of her circumstances. She is not the same, volatile, unpredictable dragon she was in TDP. People still think of her as that, when she certainly isn't anymore. She's so much better.

Her arc is one about bettering yourself. That, no matter how hurt you were, you deserve to be loved. You deserve to be treated with respect and kindness. You are not a monster. You are capable of love. You are not a heartless being. There are people who care about you. There are people who will stand by your side and help you. There are people who love you.

People never talk about Clay's side of Cleril either. People barely even discuss about Clay for that matter. He's so much of a nothing character in the eyes of the fandom, reduced to little more than Peril's partner who can give big hugs.

But, Clay is like Peril is so many ways. That was one of the many reasons they both got along. Clay and Peril were brought up as unfeeling monsters. Born killers who cannot change their fate. Clay believed in it. That no matter what he tries telling himself, he's a murderer. That at his very core he wants nothing more than to tear out somebody's throat.

But, he learns. He is kind. He is compassionate. He is patient, earnest, sweet, loyal, and above all: loving. He is not a monster. He is more than the labels placed upon him. Only he can define himself through the actions he makes in the present. He is more than the mistakes of his past. He is Clay. He is not Clay the Killer, or Clay the Destroyer, or Clay the Monster. He is Clay.

Him and Peril are alike in so many ways. Clay is the final result of Peril's journey. She's still struggling, but she's making progress. She's developing and changing into somebody better. She's making amends for her mistakes. She's going to be somebody bigger than the labels that were placed on her. She will no longer be Peril, Scarlet's Champion. She will be Peril, known for her fierce loyalty, undying love for her friends, and being the one to burn brightest in the darkest of times.

I believe they can love each other. I believe that Peril can love another dragon and not be extremely clingy or dependent. I believe that Clay and Peril can help each other.

Call be a hopeless romantic or a optimist, but I believe in love. I believe love can help others through their struggles. I believe in people being able to change and grow beyond who they were. Above all, I believe in hope for a brighter future for anybody who has been hurt in the past.

#wof #wings of fire #Really putting the 'rant' part in that #Peril wof #clay wof #cleril #cleril wof #sp-rambles

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d-8tober · 16 days

Text

Announcing the D8Tober Dimension 20 fan event/prompt challenge!

Select 8 of the 31 prompts to make a fanwork based off of during the month of October! Prompts are each loosely inspired by a horror movie, for the spooky October vibes, but none of the prompts necessarily need to be horror based and many are on the sillier side.

The prompt list will be revealed in two separate posts tomorrow on Friday the 13th of September, because that's appropriate!

FAQ:

Q: Who's running this event?

A: Running is a STRONG word, but the person behind this account is @remidyal. I debated whether to make it a separate account or not but decided to split it out.

Q: Are the prompts associated with specific dates?

A: Nope! I just did 31 to have one for each date but do them in whatever order strikes your fancy. Creation often takes multiple days, and there shouldn't be the added stress to try to have it out on a specific date for this relatively light thing without feeling like you missed your shot. Wanna jam out all 8 on one sunday? You do you, bud!

Q: I want to do less than eight of the prompts. Or, alternatively, I want to do more than eight of the prompts. Or, alternatively, I thought of something that doesn't quite fit one of the prompts.

A: Go for it, I'm not your mom. The whole purpose of an event like this is to inspire some fun fanworks; this is a super casual thing and I'm not going to stop you from doing whatever suits you.

Q: Is there an event discord or anything?

A: No, but I'll be using the tag D8tober for my own postings, and as usual I'll be around on the fic discord server or a lot of the other community servers if you have questions.

Q: Do I need to watch a single one of the movies on the list in order to participate?

A: Absolutely not! The prompts are just, themselves, inspired by a selection of horror movies. The long-form version of the prompt list will include some information about and a brief review from me of each movie, but spoiler alert there are a couple on there I don't recommend to anyone to watch. Not because they're horrific or problematic or whatever - I'm not including anything very far off the beaten path, really - but because they're bad. (Don't watch the original Friday the 13th, for example. It's awful and you can do better with your limited time on this planet.)

Q: If you had to recommend a single movie on this list, which would it be?

A: If you've somehow never seen a single one of the movies on the lists, then I'm going to have to recommend one of the true classics not just of horror but of movies generally and tell you to watch Alien. Sometimes things are classics for a reason. If you've seen some of the really well-known stuff but not gone all that deep, I think I'd push you towards Ready or Not, which is a lot of fun and not that many people saw.

Q: Are these questions really frequently asked, or did you just try to cover things you thought people might ask with something you wrote in advance?

A: This press conference is over.

There will be two versions of the prompt list posted, one with just the prompts and one with some fun info and opinions on each of the movies on the list.

#dimension 20 #fanfic #fanart #fan events #d8tober

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kcokaine · 1 month

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hi :')

about your last answer. I'm a bit fed up with people characterizing others by their fav characters/ships. what do you think about this stuff?

also, a bit complicated thing with proshippers, what do you think about them or their opponents?

Oh yeah, people think when u like a character its cuz u support their values. Hell fucking no. I don't think they are a good person, they can be iredeemable monster, i will like them for their writing and design not cuz i support what they do. ITs such a stupid view on things oh my god. I will not defend Sukuna, Naoya or Toji for the shit they have done, they are all awful. I do love them though I just avoid proshippers, i dont wanna associate with that, i dont enjoy seeing it. Do what you want, if police checks ur harddrive thats your problem

#iba asks

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frecklystars · 28 days

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I have no idea if I should come back online or not. I've been offline since. my god, what. fucking April? May?? My queue only has like 10 posts so I should refill that but tbh I don't see a point if I don't really feel anything. I am just a husk, I can't enjoy anything, I am just so numb all the fucking time. I have been doing so bad and nothing is helping and I am so fucking miserable when I can't self ship. I'm in pain all the time and I need my F/Os to help me get through the day but that's so hard when I look at them and watch the movies and feel absolutely nothing. I tried watching a bunch of ryan interviews/movies/shows for the last couple of weeks and there is just. nothing

September is my bday month and every year I try really hard to be extra gentle with myself. and I originally planned to stay offline for the entire month bc I just, I don't wanna fucking be here. I hate being on this hellsite. I hate feeling pressured to get back to so many people when my energy is so low. I don't find any joy scrolling through my dashboard. I don't find joy in making edits or drawing anymore. I don't enjoy my time on here anymore bc I cannot find joy in self shipping anymore. But I don't go a day without going into fight or flight mode, or having a nightmare or a flashback, or stress vomiting, there is always something, and my Ryan F/Os were really helping me get through it for at least a year, but now it's like... the last 4 months I've just felt nothing and I feel so utterly miserable

I can't afford a cptsd therapist anymore but I try to see my regular therapist once a month if I can afford it, and she said it's best for me to try to get back online at least once in a while, bc I'm just... rotting in my room and then going to work at both of my jobs and then coming home and missing my F/Os, unable to cope with triggers since I'm not able to self ship, and just rotting again. My sleep schedule is so fucked up bc of my nightmares/panic attacks I've had every night for nearly two years. I get zero to three hours of sleep every night for the last two years. I'm exhausted all the time and! it makes sense that I'm doing poorly bc your brain makes serotonin when you're sleeping! and if I'm literally never sleeping then ofc I'm not gonna have the stupid happy chemical in my stupid brain. and I'm not eating every day since I am trying so hard to save money, and skipping meals is obviously bad for your brain too, and I'm not socializing as regularly bc I'm so goddamn depressed. so my therapist said I should try to be online again even if it's just once a week, just to make F/O edits or something. fake it til you make it, try to build that habit again. but that feels so hard! I am so numb here! and I have so many bad memories associated with the abuse I've endured that I can't log into this hellsite without just feeling so fucking awful.

I am so tired of living in fight or flight mode and getting shaky from adrenaline rushes all the time and i'm so tired of not feeling like I can trust the people around me because of how much bullshit I've had to go through in the last two years of people purposefully being kind to me in order to betray my trust and manipulate me. I really wish I could publicly talk about what happened to me. I really wish I could publicly tell you all every single little thing that I have been put through in the last 2 years. I wish I could tell you who's doing it and I wish I could post everything... obviously not for witch hunt purposes, but just so people can know what's going on and idk help me, send me support, tell me "hey it's gonna be okay" literally anything, or at the very least just so I can warn you how fucked up a group of people are and say "hey don't interact with these people I've had to actually call the police on them bc they're Fucking Insane". but I refuse to talk about my situation publicly because it won't do anything but cause drama, it will make things worse in the long run, so I stay in my own lane, I just fucking sit here, I never talk bad about anybody anywhere even in private, I never name drop, I am just trying so hard to exist and stay in my corner.

I've been so paranoid for 4 months now bc of all of the stalking I've been put thru in the last two years. I don't trust people, and it bled into self shipping so I feel like I can't trust my F/Os. I know F/Os aren't real yeah yeah I know they're fictional, but idk how else to explain it. Think of the worst possible thing someone can do to you. anything you can think of; I have been thru it. online abuse and offline abuse. my F/Os got tied into that. I was conditioned to believe that these things that were happening to me would be my F/O's desires as well. that they'd want to abuse me the same way because they love me. that I am their "most special person" and that they'd feel an "urge to hurt me". especially if I was in a skirt. especially if I looked scared. blah blah blah all this shit I was told for months and months. endured in real time and then told my F/Os would want to do the same exact thing to me because they love me. that I am only loved through violence and manipulation. because of all of this I've been put through, I genuinely believe I am only capable of being loved if it's through violence whether this is IRL or with F/Os, and anyone who is being kind to me is secretly out to get me. this is such an awful way to live and I don't know how to stop thinking like this. I don't know how to shake it off. I'm so tired.

I want to stop having an immediate stress reaction, my brain spiking my blood with adrenaline saying "you're in danger!! you're gonna die!! you're gonna die!! you need to run!!" every time I see a stupid fictional robot, or certain clothes, or colors, or. whatever. I am so sick of it. It is exhausting dealing with so much stress and anxiety every single day!! every second that you're alive!! I cannot put into words how fucking terrible it feels!!! it isn't just a "eh this happens every once in a while if I just see my trigger" thing, it's a "I feel this every goddamn second that I am awake and even when I am asleep bc I'm having nightmares about it" !!! it's hard!! it sucks! it's hard!! I can't function if I don't have my F/Os and I don't have my F/Os anymore, not in the same way. I don't feel anything for my Ryan F/Os at all right now. Barbie doesn't make me feel safe anymore bc I don't feel anything when I look at her. I can't look at pink and think "ooh barbie pink" and try to get over that trigger. I just see pink and feel tense and like I wanna throw up. I don't see Barbie as a protector anymore bc I'm so numb. I don't see Barbie as a girl's girl who would look out for me, I see her as a potential abuser. I hate this. I miss her so bad. I miss feeling safe with F/Os. I am trying really hard to get that Ryan/Barbie hyperfixation train going again but I don't know how to do that when I am so miserable. I don't know where to start. am I supposed to fake it til I make it? draw and edit and listen to music and just try?? or do I just?? watch the movies? it's not working. but even if it's not working do I just keep doing it anyways? it's like there's a brick wall in front of me and anything throwing love/joy in my direction just hits the wall and I can't absorb it.

So anyway I'm sorry to rant. I've only slept 6 hours total in the last 7 days so my brain is like. suffocating. i'm probably almost done talking. being offline hasn't helped me feel better. I think isolating myself is, uh. not good. but I really don't have the energy for dms. I can try to answer maybe like... 3 asks a week if I push myself. I feel so bad that so so so so so many people reach out to me and I just don't answer. I don't do it on purpose I just genuinely have zero energy, or if someone sends a nice ask, in the back of my head I'm always thinking "nope this is a trap. I shouldn't engage with this" and like, what if it's not a trap? what if it's genuinely just someone trying to be nice to me? I don't trust it. i hate walking on eggshells. i hate that someone can send me "hi keri have a nice day :)" and my brain is like "ah this person is spending one whole entire year pretending to be my friend so they can betray me. they're secretly on the side of [abuser] so they can try to hurt me. don't trust!!!" like. hello. i hate that i've had experiences like that, so now any person who contacts me is automatically a "possible threat" ??? it is exhausting living like that. it's hurting me. i don't think this way on purpose! i am not trying to feed/fuel these thoughts. i have a literal stress disorder. this is part of the stupid complex post traumatic stress disorder. i am! stressed! to the point of this hurting me and i am unable to function! and! idk how to fix it. it's like someone planted poisonous seeds in my brain for 2 years that have sprouted into ugly huge trees and I can't cut them down. because the bark is too strong. or something. and now there's just poison in my head that I don't know how to get rid of.

ok sorry for rambling, I don't know if I am coming back online or not. I am supposed to! I should! I really should! but I really genuinely hate this hellsite after everything i've been put through. i never enjoy my time here anymore. but also my birthday is coming up and I deserve to enjoy my birthday. I want to enjoy it. I want to get better so bad, and if being online and making edits and drawing pictures is supposed to help with that then I will try. at least a little. I want to enjoy my birthday so bad dude. i hate my birthday, I have hated my birthday for years, but this year I am so... hurt, I feel like an open bleeding wound that cannot heal, and I want to be so gentle to myself this year. I want to eat apple pie at a diner and wear my drive scorpion jacket even if im numb the whole time. I want to go to the movies and bring my barbies with me even if im numb the whole time. I want to go rock climbing. I want to eat soft serve ice cream and not feel guilty. I want to learn how to watercolor paint even if i'm gonna suck at it at first. I have 3 F/O anniversaries coming up. K on the 1st, Driver on the 18th, Lars on the 26th. I should enjoy these days. I am not looking forward to any of it. I am just. numb. but I need to try. I cannot just sit here and tell myself it's hopeless. but then again I don't have energy to do anything other than that. but whatever, I will try even if it's just, like, one single day this month where I post art or answer one (1) ask. like literally anything I will push myself to do anything I want to get better SO bad

I'm gonna fill up my queue now, I'm sorry if it seemed messy the last month, I haven't checked it. I used to always organize my queue every day to post certain amounts on certain days, time it accordingly, make everything look all nice and pretty, but I haven't done that. I don't even know if ppl notice that kind of thing or not, I think it just makes me feel better personally when I know my blog is organized. I want to try to answer one or two inbox messages every once in a while. if I don't get to your asks or dms, I'm sorry, it is nothing personal I swear to god I literally am just a zombie right now barely alive and I am trying so hard to just. survive 😭

I love u. I'm sorry my tone in this whole thing comes off very bitter, I am genuinely just fighting to stay alive one day at a time for years and years and years and the cptsd made everything so unbearable and i feel like every single second im alive is such a struggle. I hate being so negative all the time I promise I am clawing my way out of hell to try to fix it even though it hurts the whole time. i want to get better not just for myself but also because i feel so bad that i make vent posts so often. i miss self shipping. im gonna stop here or im gonna spiral even worse. goodnight/goodbye ill touch base later

#vent #i didnt proofread this im sorry your girl is going through it #an update but also a vent but also a. i dont know. whatever

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barrenclan · 3 months

Note

went absolutely nuts one night at 4 an and stsrted absolutely screaming about how you could have been anyone by roar is rainhaze coded before i just passed out before i could finish writing this

Sell off the licensing rights to your mind

(Very easy to pin this line on Rainhaze, he gave his mind to Defiance whole-heartedly, before he himself had even realized.)

You'll sit through some ads before you can see the light

(Can be interpreted as his heel-digging to embrace the Defiance beliefs, not only the resistance he presented but the gradual process and conditioning he went through. Depending on the perspective this line it can be interpreted as him finally understanding the gift of slaughter, or in a metaphorical sense the light at the end of the tunnel, repesenting the death of the old Rainhaze and the birth of a Defiance broken tom.)

Life doesn't mean a thing until you've almost none

(Can align with the beliefs of Defiance directly, so many animals take their lives for granted, submitting to the roles relegated to them and labeled solely as hunters or prey. Only until you understand you can be so much more and see the beauty in killing can you then understand you have power.)

You could have been anyone

(Very fitting lyric, if only he hadn't gone this path, perhaps a mate would have lied away from him, maybe even kits. A loving uncle who helped support his nieces and nephews through their struggle to unserstand their identities. A brother who could provide care to his deeply scarred sibling. A cat who above all else loved his family, instead of the grotesque, twisted love his mind was warped into believing.)

You can find Jesus in every thrift store

(In every single Defiance member lay a fragment of Deepdark.)

And you can catch hell, condemned by the Lord's billboards

(And when he wills it, he can tower above you as the almighty jury he is and damn you.)

Wildfires opalize the skies

While they try thinking of ways to monetize

Ways to monetize

Life doesn't mean a thing until you've almost none

You could have been anyone

I love it when people do all the analyzing work for me!

youtube

Well, I wouldn't blame you for just the name. I like it with her, though! I don't think I've ever gotten a song suggestion for Rosey.

And I've seen the way the seasons change when I just give it time But I feel out of my mind all the time In the night I'm wild eyed, and you got me now

youtube

What a sweet and romantic song for such a pair of weirdos! Deepdark is always associated with "paleness", though, and I think Prowl being sappy is pretty funny.

Good morning, how's the weather dear? My feelings are so clear I just wanna be with you Doing what you do, always Show me how to live <- big darkprowl energy

youtube

"Death Thrice Drawn" has the word 'pining', automatic Pinepaw song. Haha, but I also like it as a song for both Pinepaw and Cormorantpaw, musing on their relationship.

Hotshot, have you got a clue how long I've been pining for you? Spent so many sleepless nights in unbaptized decline

The awful truth has eluded you for too long Uh-oh, everything you know is all wrong

youtube

Oh, more vocaloid! Songs about barren, abandoned wastelands always fit PATFW.

youtube

I can imagine this song being sung by a young Pinepaw.

I'm missing a house That I've never called home I'm missing a time that I've never known I remember a tree, had a whole leaf of my own But now we're reaching spring Was it just a dream? I don't know

The children hum a hymn And I'd like to run away But to leave would be a sin

A distant memory that itches my brain Now it remains a dream

youtube

I am always here for more Kate Bush! This song is really beautiful, and I'd definitely apply it to Asphodelpaw, though I think Mallowstar is a bit too old for the relevance. Perhaps more young cats throughout BarrenClan's history?

But he didn't have the money for a guitar (What could he do?) (Should have been a politician) But he never had a proper education (What could he do?) (Should have been a father) But he never even made it to his twenties What a waste Army dreamers

Give the kid the pick of pips And give him all your stripes and ribbons Now he's sitting in his hole He might as well have buttons and bows

youtube

My mom is a big fan of Eurythmics, thanks for suggesting it. I can imagine Slugpelt walking through the warm spring rain of BarrenClan, thinking about her past with Cashew.

Here comes the rain again Falling on my head like a memory Falling on my head like a new emotion I want to walk in the open wind I want to talk like lovers do

Want to dive into your ocean Is it raining with you?

youtube

I think I've been suggested this song before, yes! I agree, though perhaps this would fit Saltburn's Clan even better. PATFW is not set in a desert after all.

When the last light warms the rocks And the rattlesnakes unfold Mountain cats will come to drag away your bones

She twines her spines up slowly Towards the boiling sun And when I touched her skin My fingers ran with blood

youtube

I don't believe it has! I haven't even heard this Mitski song before.

I better ace that interview I better ace that interview I should tell them that I'm not afraid to die

I wanna see the whole world I wanna see the whole world I don't know how I'm gonna pay rent I wanna see the whole world

youtube

#ask #anon #music #rainhaze #wild rose #darkprowl #pinepaw #cormorantpaw #slugpelt #cashew

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whistlebrox · 1 month

Note

i saw that you posted (or reblogged tf if I remember) Geto w/ top surgery scars and now I want to hear you infodump to me about it because I'm all for this hc/au/crack crazy idea now

(I need to be asleep rn but idg2f's)

Youdont understand how insane I am about geto being trans. It makes sm sense 2 me with him constantly questioning his morality and allat is so me coded. As a trans person, u always gotta question why everything is, everything needs an answer. It's mostly 2 confirm and validate urself and the world around u. Another thing, didn't bro kill his parents? Js sayin....kinda a mood for trans characters.... even tho ik he ain't canonically trans I still think about it alot. I have alot of hc and ideas but for the most part I wanna keep em locked up for a fic I'm gonna write. Geto as a character is rply important 2 me, so I'll give him the highest honor I can bestow upon him

....

FAG SHIT.

Alr tho but on a real note, hcs i have relating 2 geto being trans is....

Geto had 2 work his ass of in his 1st year 2 rid of his dead name and being assigned 2 lady dorms and uniforms. The first person he told about being trans was yaga, and yaga being as based as he is helped him get reassigned 2 male and all things associated with it.

He's allowed 2 use male changing rooms and bathrooms no problem, but he still avoids using em at all costs. He changes in the men's room and not in the lockers, and he doesn't use the bathroom unless ABSOLUTELY NESSESARY.

He worked out alot alot 2 get the body he wanted, but I like 2 think that he's insecure about his waist being so snatched, so that's why he wears baggy pants. Best way 2 cover curves is baggy clothes and hard work.

Another thing

Gojo don't know he's trans. He's completely clueless. And yeah six eyes does alot and all that, but he can only see the flow of CE around the area and others. It's not like he has x ray vision and can see that geto don't have a dick. So, for the most part, geto is in the clear. Geto goes great lengths 2 avoid anything relating being shirtless or talking about his body when it comes 2 gojo. The 1st ine for obvious reasons and the second one in fear he'll say something that might give him away. He's clear since gojo doesn't have a lot of interest in working out or perving on people in the first place. It's not like gojo wants 2 see him naked or anything so yk.

Ofc at some point during 2nd year he told shoko about being trans only bc he forgot his pad and all the sudden it was THAT TIME OF THE MONTH. randomly in class it started but geto had totally forgot 2 prep and that he got periods in the first place. Shook didntcare and that didn't really suprised him, but he was still scared bc he thought "a pretty girl like shoko might be stuck up, and she's not one 2 soften up her opinion just because she's talking to a friend." (Objectively pretty girl = probably the most rude lady he'll ever face, and gojo also has this fear with women but times 10000)

I like 2 think that the higher ups are kinda bitches about the whole trans thing so they try and stop people from being able 2 have a smooth transition unless they have parental support. (Which for geto was awful but he alr had done all the shit before they started enforcing that rule. It didn't end up applying 2 him but it stressed him out a shit ton.)

He also prefers 2 deal with his injuries alone since it's easier for him 2 get undressed and deal with it himself without prying eyes. Gojo hates this since I like 2 think he wants 2 help geto with everything (in an annoying insufferable way).

Ok yap over lemme know if u wanna hear more hc. This is extremely unstructured yapping so none of this is in order dawg 🙏💀

#jjk #jujutsu kaisen #geto suguru #trans geto suguru #jjk headcanons #WHISTLE yap hrs

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joesalw · 5 months

Note

TW- swearing (for anyone uncomfortable with it)

hi so uh. sort of an ex swiftie here? Idk but I need to rant (??) and I feel like you’re the best person for it…

so essentially when I was in middle school ALL of my friends were swifties, and so I thought I’d become cool by liking ts! So I sorta forced myself to listen to her music for those three years and eventually I became kinda fond of it?? Idk I think it’s because I associated those songs with particular fandoms or smth

but anyways now, I’m almost 18 and those swiftie friends have become the most god awful and ykw?? I feel like it all went downhill after she broke up with Joe, because then MH came in and then tk…

and now those songs with resonated with me while I was in middle school make me wanna puke! I’ve unliked almost all her songs, I’ve removed her songs from playlists and I skip her songs whenever it plays

and I’m really pissed because SHE is the reason I’ve had to lock away some of those relatively good memories. Because now all those songs do is make me realise what kind of bullshit people I know online

sorry I really don’t fucking know what’s the point of this rant, I just needed to get it off my chest.

Don't say sorry y'all. I really love reading your ex swiftie rants more than anything

#anti taylor swift #ex swiftie rants #ex swifties

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darkficsyouneveraskedfor · 1 year

Text

Can't Go Back

Epilogue for Sweet Treats AU: by character | chronological | epilogues

Warnings: these drabbles will include dark elements such as noncon, control, intimidation, and other stuff that may not be specified. Take this as you chance to scroll by.

Note: yall wanted this man.

Please let me know what you think <3

🍑🍑🍑

Lloyd drags you away from the wall, his hand latched around a clump of your hair. Your temples pound and your ears ring. How could this happen? No, how could you do this?

Candy's right. You said too much. It's all your fault again. You didn't want to believe Lloyd was bad but you should've. Just like Steve. What is it they say about when people show you their true selves?

You kick out as you try to stop him. Coco hollers from the next room and your heart leaps into your throat. No, no, they can't hurt her. Not because of you. You close your eyes and sob. You see the blood that stained Candy's jacket and her drawn face.

"Let me go!" You whine and writhe as you claw at Lloyd's hand, "please, please, don't let them hurt my friends. Lloyd," you twist around despite the tension at your roots, "Lloyd, please, I thought... I thought you liked me."

"Now, sweet cheeks, I do," he taunts as he swings you away from him. You hit the wall and collapse to your knees. "I like the way your pussy squeezes me like it's never gonna let go."

"Please," you croak as you look up at him, cheeks hot and wet, "please, you can keep me. But my friends, they don't deserve this--"

"What? They don't deserve what, sunshine? That knife you stabbed between their ribs?"

"No, no, I didn't mean to," you crawl to him, "please, I'll do anything. I just... they saved me, Lloyd, they saved me. Let me save them."

He kicks you away from his boots and snorts, "too late for all that, Birdy. Shoulda thought about this before you came to suck my dick goodbye."

"Lloyd," you gulp as the ice in his voice flows into your veins, "you can't... I didn't..."

"Hell, if I played you a little longer, I may have convinced you to actually help me out, huh, baby girl? You wanna be loved so bad, you'd sell more than just your holes, wouldn't you?"

"Stop, stop," you cover your ears as you shake your head, "STOPPPPP!"

You shriek and it erupts from you uncontrollably. You can't take it. You're pathetic. You've let down the only people who ever showed you love. You fucked everything up and why? Because you're stupid and desperate, just like he says.

"Aw, baby, come on, don't be so sad. My associates are gonna treat your friends just as nice as I treated you," he bends down to touch your arm and you bat him away, "hmmm, sweet little ladies like you need someone to take care of them. Well, someone who can keep you in line. It's too bad about those morons down in New York."

"What? Steve...?" You sputter and hear Candy grunt from the next room. You look over but Lloyd catches your chin and makes you face him. He pulls you close as there's a clatter in the next room amid a murmur of grunts and groans.

"That's the one, doll face. So what was it? Did the serum not work on the cap's star spangled dangle?"

"N-n-noooo," you squirm and latch onto his wrist, "stop. Stop."

"Stop what, baby? You're acting like you weren't begging for it. Come on, let's have some fun."

"I don't... I don't want you. You're mean," you sniffle and shove against his shoulder, "you're....you're... you're evil!"

"And you fell for it. I'd rather be the big bad than some dimwitted slut," he lets you go, pushing you onto your back before he stands. He rolls his head on his neck and squares his shoulders as he paces a circle around you, "it's always a bit more fun when they fight."

You glare at him. Down there, on your knees, weak, beneath him. As low as low can be. You deserve this. You deserve to suffer.

You watch him unbuckle his belt. He snickers as he comes closer, mocking you as he gropes the front of his pants. He pokes his tongue out lewdly and you sink down into your pit.

A shell of numbness encases you. You hear Candy snarling and Coco thrashing from either side of you. You're not like them, you're not a fighter.

You dragged them into this. Your only friends. How they must hate you. You hope they do. You hope they hate you as much your despise yourself.

#lloyd hansen x birdy #lloyd hansen x reader #dark lloyd hansen #lloyd hansen #dark!lloyd hansen #au #the gray man #sweet treats #series #drabble #drabble series #dark!fic

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