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#I don't think my... me? really fits that label
triciaisonline · 2 days
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I have a crazy theory, based on literally nothing - just something I think would be wild to do... IT INVOLVES KNOWLEDGE OF THE ALLEGED FUNKO LEAK (which we don't know the validity of yet) so do not read if you want to remain unaware of it
This is just a theory, and it's probably totally wrong - but I was just thinking of all these pieces and a way they could fit... this is also going to bounce all over the place as I type in a stream of consciousness.
Okay, so it's not fully formed yet - and it connects to another theory that has been circulating. This is just being written off the cuff, so it's not going to properly formulated but....
The alleged leak, shows two pop figures: Rio as Lady Death (just labeled as Death) and Teen as Wiccan. Now these things are not entirely shocking as people speculated these for a bit.
SEE HERE
Now, I had a mini theory that Teen was so obviously Wiccan that it would be really funny if the character took the Wiccan mantle but then wasn't Billy. I'm not saying I think that's what's going to happen - just that it would be a good twist because it toys with out expectations and would remind audiences of the twists with Pierto and Agatha in WandaVision. So, this sort of follows that - but in a different way.
My new clown theory is: Teen is Nicholas Scratch - but leaning into the villian background of the character, is trying to make Agatha think he's Billy. Wild to say, I know - but my crazy clown theory goes as follows:
I think there's more symbolism in the Agnes of Westview part than we believed. When "Agnes" is first seen in her house, she's having the end of a terrible day and is pissed off at the appearance of Rio. She goes to a bedroom that's meant to symbolize the loss of her son, and that's when Rio shows up at her door. It's in the scene that follows that Rio asks her: do you remember why you hate me?
I think this line got forgotten a bit in the fight scene that ensued - because it seemed to imply that Agatha had done Rio wrong at some point, which may be true - but perhaps it was in response to something Rio did first. Why would Agatha hate Rio if Agatha was the only one at fault? We see Agatha interacting with other witches while she's not the most friendly, there's something deep there with Rio.
I am positing that Rio is the one who caused Agatha to lose Nicholas - not Agatha. Now, I'm not saying this to remove Agatha's agency in her wrong doings - but that's something that could justify that hatred. I also think the timing of that initial scene makes me think we are meant to connect subconsciously the two events. I think Agatha's response is what somehow led her to getting on Rio's bad side and perhaps led to her gaining the Darkhold (or book of the dead, I'm forgetting atm if they are one and the same in this version of things). Which Agatha has tried to use to get her son back/get revenge... and as it's want to do, it took Agatha preexisting flaws and exacerbated them in its corruption as we saw with Wanda.
Now, how does this connect to my bold guess? Well, we assume that her son is dead - like a child sacrifice, as that's the comments others have made. But there's more than one way to suffer loss. Nicholas is an antagonist in the original comics, he even frames his mother at one point for horrific crimes. Is it possible that Nicholas was offered up not for death, but taken by whomever is at the center of this to and turned against her?
Teen's comments in the Agnes of Westview interrogation about the homelife she lives are very interesting and seemingly out of character for the rest of his portrayal as an Agatha fan boy. Teen has clearly done a lot of research, and the events of Westview are implied to be public knowledge. Could Teen be Nicholas - either of his own volition or working for someone else (put a pin in this part) - intentionally trying to trick her? The sigil, was it placed by himself or someone he's working with, in order to not be recognized?
"Okay, but how about the Wiccan pop figure leak?" --- okay, so the show is being so obvious about who Teen is possibly.... but the team has done this bait and switch before in WandaVision. Maybe it's obvious because it's meant to trick us and the characters? Maybe Teen is trying to invoke the idea of Wanda's kids - someone Agatha has complex history with, but also knew the kids of. The pop has Teen in very Wanda looking costume pieces. Could it be that it's meant to be on the nose on purpose?
What about Rio? Well, the leak depicts Rio as Lady Death. We have also seen the Tarot card promotional images that back this. Now, if Rio is a fake identity or becomes possessed by Death- no way of knowing. Lady Death often is an antagonistic figure as well, could this plan of Teen's be connected or guided by Rio/Lady Death? Perhaps in some sense of vengeance? It's implied Agatha has killed many in her long life - that could be a connection as well. Plus, it's a small note - but the trailers have that line from Rio focusing on how the bodies are piling up.
TAROT PROMO HERE
Lilia had the vision/hallucination that expressed a desire/need to Protect Agatha. Why? Because she's being played. Rio sets the Salem Seven on Agatha, which makes her desperate enough to go on the Road. The thing Teen wants to get her to go on. Rio also seemingly has interacted with Teen while Agatha was Agnes. Since so much of that was happening in Agatha's house - and she didn't react to them at all? That's strange, unless she already expected him to be there. The Salem Seven are Nicholas' kids in comics, turned against their Grandmother Agatha as additional antagonists. Now, they might not be his kids in this version, we don't know yet - but there might be a connection. "But the Seven attacked Nicholas?" Well, either it was an act or his sigil has him blinded to them as well. So, they could all be working on the same team to sell it.
Teen was also strong enough to break Wanda's spell. Something we've only seen Agatha do in this specific corner of the MCU. Similar magical power, perhaps because of powerful influence and/or being related to her.
Another note - how does Rio end up on the Road? She's not with the coven. If Rio is Lady Death - the death of Sharon Davis might be an opening for her to arrive...
This is all over the place, but I feel there's a possible link here. It's likely not, but it was fun to think about !!!
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I'm not an anime style catgirl but I'm also not a furry. I am a secret third thing (catgirl but change more of the body than usual)
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themthistles · 1 year
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i think that while micro labels can seem useful and affirming ultimately they're isolating and kind of an obstacle to your understanding of self. that's because you can never find a word specific enough. there will never be a label or two labels or even ten, twenty of them to perfectly capture and describe all of your thoughts, feelings, experiences, preferences, needs, interests, identities, etc. because you learn more and more about yourself every day and then you change and your wants and needs change with you. having to hop between labels, fearing that you don't 'fit' into a label anymore (both in your own and others eyes), worrying how soon your current label will wear out, questioning if you'll ever fully fit a single one. all that causes a lot of uncertainty and anxiety which could be avoided by just picking a more general thing and molding it according to what it means to YOU. because words will always mean different things to different people, you will never be understood immediately and maybe never completely by anyone but yourself and that's fine
#another thing is that micro labels often feel like they fracture the community unnecessarily#idk how many times i've seen fighting over hyperspecific ace labels and what they mean and if people described in them even belong#and honestly i think this discourse wouldn't be so vile and neverending if people accepted the idea of falling under general umbrella#and accepted that you can't describe complicated weird and wonderful act of human existence with a couple of words#you don't need to explain yourself to anyone#i know in our present pronouns/sexuality/gender in bio carrd era it feels like you have to but you really don't#people aren't entitled to a short summary of your inner world and you can't speed run connection#also feel the need to say: i have nothing against people who use micro labels#if you feel like your micro label describes you perfectly? i'm really glad and happy for you#i'm just expressing my own thoughts and feelings that come from personal experience with exploring these things#at some point i started doubting if i could call myself a lesbian#i thought oh i'm not exactly what a lot of people generally think of when they hear that word#oh they'll misunderstand and i'm not being my 'true self' i'll find a word that fits me exactly if i just keep looking#and then i found out being aroace is a thing and boy did that add a lot of anxiety and confusion to the pot#i didn't feel like i fit in with both communities wasn't lesbian enough wasn't aroace enough#but at some point i just got tired of trying to justify myself to others and to myself#identities aren't houses you live in they're more like seas or rivers flowing into one another#and spaces where they intersect are vague and hard to define and they shift and change and this metaphor is getting away from me#basically#words are complicated#but they're the only direct way we humans can communicate#it is what it is#so make art#a lot of it#oh also unrelated but if you ever tell older queer folks that they're using wrong words to describe themselves i am going to jump you
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the-eclectic-wonderer · 3 months
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I always think about how in multiple episodes it's basically canon that Blanche is bi but considers dating women to be more hassle (which is a whole rabbit hole to go down - does she struggle with societal homophobia when she's with women? Has she only been with fellow high maintenance femmes when shes really after a Dorothy type? Has she internalized the idea that her attraction to women isn't 'real'? Her reaction to Clayton adds to these questions). Not to mention how this goes together with her relationships with the girls; making to kiss Rose that one time (and Rose multiple times seeming very aware of Blanche's proclivities), begging Dorothy for 'relief' and being convinced she's attracted to women too.
Yes, anon! It’s really interesting to delve into Blanche’s psyche about all this stuff!
I started writing down my thoughts and ended up with a long ramble -- allow me to place it all under a cut, so I don't clog up anyone's dash, haha.
Personally, I think she has some strong mental blocks when it comes to her sexuality because of the way she was brought up. I mean, she grew up in Atlanta approx in the 1930s/1940s — I’m sure I don’t have to detail the kind of casual bigotry she must have seen around her during her formative years! Just look at the story she recounts in S1E13 A Little Romance:
“Now, you have to understand that in those days in the South a lot of things were still taboo. Certain people were not to mix. So Benjamin and I had to meet in secret. Oh, we knew if any of the bigots in town found out about us, there’d be a terrible scandal.”
And all of this because Benjamin was a yankee… can you imagine what ‘the bigots in town’ thought about homosexuality? Yeah, I’m pretty sure Blanche learned to suppress that part of herself very early on. We know she turns to denial when she’s faced with uncomfortable truths and emotions she can’t deal with, so I think she likely just refuses to acknowledge that part of herself most of the time, and it only comes out (pun intended!) when she’s not paying much attention to things, or when there’s something more important going on. See the two examples you point out: when she tries to kiss Rose she’s concerned with not being kissed at midnight, and when she propositions Dorothy she’s, well… she’s desperate to get some, if we can be frank.
When she’s in a more rational state, her reactions tend to be more measured… but not by much. She does advise Rose not to date women (S3E10 The Audit):
“Oh, no, honey, don’t do that! No job is worth having to date women!”
But she’s also really flattered at receiving lots and lots of phone calls from women, after her appearance as a ‘lesbian’ on TV (S7E15 Goodbye, Mr Gordon):
“By the way, Dorothy, if I were a lesbian, I sure would be a popular one. Look at this, 20 calls.”
And of course we can’t forget her reaction to finding out that Jean has a crush on Rose in S2E5 Isn’t It Romantic?:
“Jean has the hots for Rose? I don’t believe it, I do not believe it! […] To think Jean would prefer Rose over me? That’s ridiculous! […] Now you tell me the truth: if you had to pick between Rose and me, who would you pick? Who?”
All of these are (likely) intended to be jokes about her vanity and her libertine nature (in the same way as Rose’s observations are), but considering a lot of the writers of this show were queer themselves, it wouldn’t seem strange to me if they were intentionally peppered in to suggest that Blanche might be a bisexual in denial. It certainly fits her character!
I haven’t spoken about her reaction to Clayton’s coming out yet, but that’s immensely interesting too, of course. I think Blanche has the same attitude towards homosexuality that I see in a lot of (mostly older) people in my Country nowadays: it’s fine as a general concept, but when it comes to her family (or, God forbid, herself) then the problems come out. See for example what she says about Jean:
“Well, I’ll never understand what Jean doesn’t see in the opposite sex, but if that makes her happy, that’s fine by me!”
Which isn’t a homophobic attitude at all! If anything, if you take her upbringing into account, it’s pretty accepting. But then, when Clayton comes out to her (S4E9 Scared Straight) and tells her he wants to get married (S6E14 Sister Of The Bride), this is what she says:
“Oh, Clayton, please be serious. You're just saying that so I won't set you up with any more women. […] Well, then you're saying it 'cause you're trying to get back at me for something. Clay, I know you too well for this. After all, I know it can't be true. You're my brother. […] Clayton Hollingsworth. You look me in the face and tell me you really are… what you just said you are.”
“I'm having a little trouble putting this all together. Clayton, I just feel like I don't know you anymore.”
“[…] Dorothy, that's different. We're talking about going out in public. Oh, what are people gonna say?”
“Will you tell me why you want to put yourself and Doug through this? You know how people can be.”
“Oh, look, I can accept the fact that he's gay, but why does he have to slip a ring on this guy's finger so the whole world will know?”
Quite the difference from her attitude towards Jean, wouldn’t you say? I think there’s three elements at play here.
1) When Clayton comes out to Blanche, she feels disoriented because this is life-changing information Clayton has never shared with her before. While her reaction as a whole isn’t ideal, personally I think it’s understandable. Clayton is her baby brother; she’s known him as straight all his life, he’s been married to a woman for years before his divorce, and she recounts an episode from their adolescence when he was on a date with a woman and very clearly implicated having a physical encounter with her. He's done everything in his power to pass as straight until this point in time -- I don't find it strange that Blanche would be shocked at his coming out, especially given her upbringing (and the fact that this is set in the 80s! We can't expect modern sensibilities from the characters!). Once again, her reaction isn't the best (she can't even bring herself to say the word 'gay' at first...), but the shock per se isn't that surprising, imho.
2) Blanche is scared because of societal implications above all. She doesn't necessarily see being queer as something wrong, but she's been taught it's not socially acceptable and acts accordingly. Notice how she's worried about what people are going to say, and she struggles to accept that Clayton wants the whole world to know about his relationship with Doug.
Societal expectations in general are a big theme for Blanche's character, and often drive her development; another big example of this is her attitude towards Rebecca's decision to get artificially inseminated, but it's a bit of a baseline issue for her, I feel. She has this whole thing about her beauty and her (supposed) youth and her attractiveness that has some inherent elements, but it's mostly an issue of how other people perceive her, I think, and her response to her brother's coming out is easy to relate to this theme. I mean, she even says it to Rose in S7E15:
"Well, I don't mind being labeled a lesbian, honey, but since I'm not, you just ruined my social life."
So yeah. I think it's safe to say her main concern is societal disapproval of queerness: she wants to be accepted and celebrated by the people around her, and she thinks that being openly queer will destroy her place in her social circle (and she's worried about the same happening to Clayton too, of course).
3) This is sort of related to point 2, but it felt distinct enough to treat it separately. I think she might have reacted so badly to Clayton's coming out (and especially to his showing up with a partner) because he's open about his sexuality, and she's not ready to face what that means for her. My lovely mutual @\hecatesbroom recently published her latest amazing work the odd one(s) out, on the relationship between Dorothy and her brother Phil and how Phil's open queerness might have impacted Dorothy; I think a similar situation might have occurred between Blanche and Clayton after his coming out.
Blanche has a sort of advantage on Dorothy because of her bisexuality, in the sense that she has 'passing privilege' (I really dislike this concept, but allow me to use it to make a point): it's painfully clear that she loved her late husband with all her heart, and she's obviously attracted to men as well, so she can pretend not to like women without too much of a hassle (whereas, if you believe Dorothy to be a repressed lesbian, her situation is much more complicated).
The issue with this is that this 'advantage' is a double-edged sword: she might have the comfort of being socially acceptable, but she's had to suffocate a big part of herself to obtain that comfort. And so, what happens when Clayton -- her baby brother Clayton, the one who's always been just like her, who's grown up with her same environment and influences -- begins openly living as a gay man? I'm sure the situation must have had a strong impact on her, even if just on a subconscious level; I've always found it curious that she seems to have a harder time accepting Clayton in S6E14 than she does in S4E9 (she even calls his sexuality a phase), and while a part of it may be attributed to the higher social exposure Clayton's commitment to Doug brings, I think this may be a result of her inner conflict, provoked by watching her brother live openly while she's been suppressing a part of herself all her life.
Here I'm assuming she's never acted upon her attraction to women before, but there's some space to believe she has done so and has decided it's too much of a hassle, as you say -- likely because she'd for sure do it in secret, given her fear of societal condemnation. If she has been with women before, and decided to give up on it, I still think she'd be greatly impacted by Clayton's coming out: it means her baby brother is a) braver than she is, and b) going to openly face (and likely suffer because of) the same social issues she's run away from. In this lens, I find it interesting that she cautions him about how people can be, almost as if they've both experienced it.
Whew. Wow, this was a lot more than I'd originally meant to write, haha! Seems you sparked a big train of thought, anon! I think all of the Girls (with the possible exception of Sophia) are really fascinating to analyze with a queer lens, and Blanche is always interesting to me, of course. As a final note, I'd like to point out that she does come around to Clayton's sexuality and his relationship, in the end: as often happens, she just needs the Girls' help to put things back in perspective, understand she's hurting someone she loves, and correct her actions. I'd like to think living with the Girls might lead to her becoming more accepting of herself, too.
#this was so much fun!! you helped me pass the time on about two and a half hours of train rides anon :)#this is... Long lmao. but are we surprised? i always end up talking at length#and this subject is Very interesting to me for obvious reasons so...#there's a lot more that could be said i think. all her homoerotic moments with the girls?#dancing with rose? playing pretend with dorothy?#and all the times sophia jokes about them? 'you couldn't stay in the closet for one more day'?#all fascinating stuff no matter how you look at it#i really think her homophobia stems from societal expectations honestly. she *never* expresses the opinion that being gay is wrong per se#she doesn't think it's unnatural or against god or anything like that. the worst thing she says is that 'phase' comment imho#she thinks it's *socially unacceptable*. which is a whole different thing#and considering blanche's whole thing with being accepted by society i feel like a queer in denial storyline really fits her character#like. think of even just this:#blanche devereaux. known for being libertine and unashamed of her sexuality (to the point of being labelled 'a slut').#often described as 'selfish' and 'self-centered'. focused on satisfying her desires and wishes at all times#this woman? having to deny a part of said desires for her entire life? the contrast is DELICIOUS to me#this big fear of societal disapproval was the angle i went with for my blanche/rose fic! it was set at the end of s2#so this was really all i could explore. but it would have been fun to throw clayton into the mix#i really think seeing him be so open about himself had a profound effect on her#oh look at me rambling in the tags too haha. excellent observations anon! thank you for sending this ask!#if you have any more thoughts i'd love to read them!!#oh and also -- when does blanche say she thinks dorothy's attracted to women?#i don't remember it and i'm *very* curious about it#the golden girls#blanche devereaux#golden wives#ask
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have decided that I will not be reducing people to their current life phase, relationship status, religious affiliation, age, or any other exterior trapping. you are a person. I care about you. that's basically it. this is how I'm going to see the world from now on.
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pathetichoney · 1 year
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[Image description: a detailed outfit reference for Kirika from my mha/dp crossover fanfiction locked out, with five different styles. The styles are labelled "warm weather outfit", "punk outfit", "cold weather outfit", "work uniform" and "formal attire". There is also a drawing of two golden rings on a chain with the annotation of "dead parents' wedding rings on a necklace wears constantly under clothes". There is also a small bio in the bottom right corner.
Watanabe Kirika / 23 / female symbol / june 3rd / 183cm/6 feet / aro ace
never wears heels or wedges
refuses to use bags and will complain when she needs to
steals @ every opportunity mostly for fun but mostly due to habit
fluent in many languages due to landing in many places
experiments with hairstyles often
End image description.]
i finally finished this. i'd been meaning to have this done since i first posted locked out, but nah i had to redo it a bunch of times and i was late getting to it in the first place. but please know that kirika has a lot of different hairstyles and the only constant is her fringe and how she doesn't let her left side of her hair free. she'd likely shave that side if her hair didn't take forever to grow (she's had like two proper haircuts her whole life outside of trims).
some other facts about kirika's style that i think is important but i didn't manage to showcase it here nor write it in the bio:
her parents rings usually end up being tucked between her boobs, not for a sexy reason mostly just to keep them secure and out of the way
she would have a tattoo (previously pictured) if she wasn't worried she'd get sick of looking at the same image constantly. if she sees something too much she'll get annoyed by it. temporary tattooes are her best friend.
almost always will choose a high waisted skirt or trousers over the low waisted option. she has wide hips and high waisted things tend to feel more comfortable to her
when she's in a universe that doesn't normally have bright hair colours she uses temporary hairdye that usually is black or brunette. she's rather adept at applying it quickly
wears a lot of jewelry and mostly rings. a fidget she'll often rearrange the rings on her fingers
has a variety of different surnames as aliases depending on where she lives at the time though watanabe is her birth name
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localvoidcat · 1 year
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still think it's funny that after about a year or so of stressing over labels and asking people for their opinions and trying to decide what percentages applied to me and all that, i got the most relief out of saying "well, fuck if i know, man"
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penumbralwoods · 9 months
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shoves open door covered in blood and bruises. i need to reevaluate my gender
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fearcicada · 1 year
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Jonathan Sims and Aromanticism as being disconnected from and unrelatable to other children, As never being romantically interested in someone during your school years because you don’t have time for that nonsense, you’re focused on your studies, you don’t like spending time around others. As no one being romantically interested in you until college – at that point, do you even know what romance is? What it feels like? As dating someone because they like you – You might as well date Georgie, she’s interested in you, and you like her well enough as a friend. Is this what love is? As not being interested in sex either. What is there to define the difference between romantic and platonic feelings that doesn’t involve physicality? As going into asexual spaces and always seeing the “we may not like sex but we still love people and want relationships like anyone else!!!” takes. As already being closed off, rude, an acquired taste for most. When it’s already hard for most people to want to be your friend - romantic relationships seem even more unrealistic. Already having a lack of personal relationships in your life - not exactly helped by not being interested in most people’s idea of “romantic relationships.” As being less aware of things like flirting and romance than most (because of said lack of personal relationships your entire life). As being completely unaware of someone else liking you for months/years even when it seemed like, really really obvious to everyone else. As having less and less people around you who don't hate your guts or are dead and having the one person who doesn't hate you, wanting to date you? Like romantically? As feeling inhuman. As questioning your humanity. As trying to define your humanity through romance. As being green themed and covered in eyes and becoming the lynchpin of the apocalypse<333
#words#LOL when writing about how i ciew certain tma characters and their aromanticism i sometimes get so caught up in being like#umm is it problematic to write about an aro character who like#fits into various 'misconceptions' and 'stereotypes' about being aro?...even though im literally aro#and a lot of 'misconceptions/stereotypes/whatever r things people tend to actually think esp while figuring out they're aro LOL. like#this is just what various aspects kf jon remind me of...like what i think he'd think at different points regarding hir aromanticism.#in my head. he never really ''figured it out'' and ever labeled himself as aro throughout the events of tma or before.#he went into the apocalypse to murder elias and then get murdered by martin being like#im weird. im a weirdo. i dont fit in. im just like that. and then died#LOOL some of this is stuff thar i thoufht that kept me from just realizing i was aro too at the time lol#but i mean#jon is also just like that. TO ME!!!#sorry don't know why i feel the need to defend my decisions regarding my own damn thoughts on jon and aromanticism LOL#teehee this sounds so serious but like it really isn't this is just how jon turns out to me in my head.#but in reality this post is like teehee to me in my head. jon is aro because he is green and covered in eyes and a monster#muah muah#oh shit almost forgot#Jonathan sims#the Magnus archives#tma#aro#aromantic#lol#im sorry but jon questioning his humanity bc of his descent into becoming the archivist -> romance and love always being used in our#society as defining features of 'humanity' -> jon trying to define his humanity through various things thst don't ACTUALLY define humans#and are mostly arbitrary..
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transwolvie · 1 year
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Makes me think of the hierarchy of sex discussion, because in order to uphold the hierarchy they must push the myth that letting anything over the boundary set between "normal" sex and "weird" sex would mean letting EVERYTHING over that boundary and a full societal collapse into degeneracy. That argument probably sounds pretty familiar. People who say that gay marriage will lead to sex with ducks, people who are insistent that the gays want to include pedophilia, etc.
You see an interesting turn of this too, where people are insistent that ANY censorship or limits would lead to everything that deserves to be normalized being pushed back into the realm of "weird" sex, too, which is fascinating, because I think most of us can fairly say that we can, in fact, ban things such as porn of minors (especially irl minors, looking at youuuu AO3!) without somehow going back to the days when all queer art was subjugated. A kind of knee-jerk reaction (mmm reactionary movements) to the fact that our overall society has always pushed this slippery slope myth, and thus the fact that the larger, controlling groups of society will in fact try to ban any and all queer expression as degenerate.
But here's the thing. It's a myth. We can let things over the line without descending into chaos, because the line is made the fuck up. Accepting furries does NOT mean accepting zoophilia. Accepting LGBT+ people does NOT mean accepting pedophilia. On its face that should be OBVIOUS, since these things are hardly related at all. The only thing that groups them together is that they are currently societally taboo. and the cool thing about society is that you can still keep certain taboos even as you move into a more progressive society. in fact you uh. SHOULD keep certain taboos (@ libertarians. stop being nasty.)
When people present it as some weird zero-sum game they are lyingggg to you. It is not a slippery slope, it is a clear decision we can make and a line we can set as a society that LGBT+ people are normal, that kink is normal, that something as simple as furries are NORMAL, without somehow letting the big bad boogieman of "evil" and "wrong" sex in
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rainbowvamp · 2 years
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this weekend I had several sobbing revelations about my (undiagnosed) ADHD and actually I'm proud of me for that.
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ohara-n-brown · 10 months
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As a late diagnosed autist I will say one of the most damaging but transformative experiences I've ever had was being misdiagnosed with BPD.
Everyday my heart goes out to people with BPD.
The amount of stigma and silencing they face is astonishing and sickening.
I took DBT for years. Therapists use to turn me away because of my diagnosis.
I would be having full blown autistic meltdowns, crying for help literally - but because I was labeled as BPD ANY time I cried I was treated as manipulative and unstable.
As if the only reason I could be crying was if I was out to trick someone.
95% of the books out there with Borderline in the title are named shit like 'How to get away from a person with Borderline', 'How to stop walking on eggshells (with a person who has BPD)'
I was never allowed to feel true pain or panic or need.
That was 'attention seeking behavior', not me asking for help when a disability was literally inhibiting my ability to process emotions.
There were dozens of times where I had a full meltdown and was either threatened with institutionalization or told I was doing it for attention.
My failing relationships weren't due to a communication issue, or the inability to read social cues. No, because I was labeled borderline, my unstable relationships were my fault. Me beggong nuerotypicals to just be honest and blunt with what they meant was me pestering them for validation.
Borderline patients can't win.
And the funny thing is - I asked my therapist about autism. I told her I thought I was on the spectrum.
BPD is WILDLY misdiagnosed with those with autism and I had many clear signs.
Instead - she told me 'If you were autistic we wouldn't be able to have this conversation'. She made me go through a list of autistic traits made clearly for children, citing how I didn't fit each one.
And then she told me that me identifying with the autism community was the BPD making me search for identity to be accepted - and that I wasn't autistic, just desperate to fit in somewhere.
I didn't get diagnosed for another ten years. For ten years I avoided the autism community - feeling as if I were just a broken person who wanted to steal from people who 'really needed it'.
Because of my providers - I began to doubt my identity MORE, not less.
Ten years of thinking I was borderline and being emotionally neglected and demonized by a system meant to help me.
To this day, I still don't trust neurotypicals. Not fully.
I know I'm not borderline now - but my heart aches for them. Not for the usual stuff. But for the stigma. And the asshole doctors. And the dismissiveness and threatening and the idea of institutionalization hanging over their head.
I love Borderline people. I always will. I'm not Borderline but if you are I love you and I'm sorry.
You're not a bad person. You're not a therapists worst nightmare, you are a human with valid feelings and fears.
Borderline people I'm sorry.
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beeribas · 6 months
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Fuck it, I'm gonna use the label "Bi Lesbian" and I'm not going to worry about justifying myself.
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medicinemane · 6 months
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You know, capitalism is another one of those words that sadly is like problematic in that it's functionally useless because people just toss it out and then everyone gets so hung up debating the meaning of the word capitalism that the whole point is lost
That's why I don't ever really use it. It doesn't really matter if it's capitalism or if it's cronyism or... whatever, I think it's bad when companies make record profits while prices go up up up
I think there's probably an issue and it probably needs to be solved (and I'm afraid you can't convince me less regulation is a magic bullet)
I like currency and exchanging currency because it seems like a good way of moving goods and labor around, but I also strongly support welfare and think that any group of more than 50 people is probably starting to get corrupt
Don't trust the government, but sure as hell don't trust corps...
I don't know, my original point is that sadly capitalism gets tossed around too much to mean anything anymore... but I just see too many argumentative people online so I'm tossing out my stances to avoid getting side tracked debating what I mean
What I really really mean is just fucking say what you're saying and don't bother saying capitalism cause you'll just make people argue and miss your point
#this is about me reblogging a post the mentions the word capitalism#and I sometimes do that and have people get in and argue about if something is or isn't capitalism#and it's like yeah mate and honestly I hear you; I'm not sure that it fully 100% fits here and if it does it's so broad it's meaningless#but like... read the bit before they said capitalism and have a think on that instead#like let's focus on the description of the situation and how we feel about that description more than a single definition#I honestly don't really care what things are called half as much as the actions being taken and how effective they're likely to be#don't really care if something's called hatemurderdeathism if it's making things better with no policies I hate#obviously there's some things where I'd be like 'hmm... let's not call it that; cause that implies some specific bad stuff'#but like broad strokes shit... capitalism socialism libertarian... what the fuck ever...#is there a strong social net while people are free to trade goods and services?#then I probably am mostly for this plan#fight about the name but leave me out of it#...that's another big part of why I don't call myself anything#takes too long trying to explain your definitions and get people to agree that it doesn't actually mean fascist murder#(cause whatever label you run under I bet I've seen someone call it a fascist murder)#nah; I'm not any this or that group... given up on that a long time ago#I'm just a stupid idiot with various ideas I'd like to talk with people to see how we can move the needle more in that direction#like the less people starving and being homeless direction#and the more worthwhile and productive work and less busy pointless work for megacorps direction#which I think means a shift to more small businesses... which is actually part of why I'm for a UBI#pretty sure I know at least one person on here with a business idea (and knowing them it's a good one)#but they just lack the financial stability to start the business#so I actually want a UBI cause I think it would be good for the economy#never gonna say I can't be stupid or wrong; but that is one of my motives#...whatever... none of this matters; really ought to hurry up and die but I procrastinate that as hard as everything else
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ratspider · 7 months
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i hate that thing i do where i prioritize drawing/painting/sculpture above like every other form of art. like if i fill a sketchbook that's more of an accomplishment than this cool hat i made. maybe the equivalent to that is crafting an entire outfit down to making the pattern myself. or filling a box with Stuff I Sewed. idk, i think drawing is just valued so so so much online and i watch all those sketchbook tours and i'm like Wow! these people are so motivated and these sketchbooks are so cool and filled with personality and just. so dense with creativity and I Wish I Could Do That but i already do. i just don't do the 'one sketchbook a month' thing. i have The Yearning but not the drive to draw that much and i need to just value what i'm already doing that's easy for me to do right now.
#i (and i think a lot of other people) are definitely not meant to stick to one thing their entire lives#and ESPECIALLY not one artistic style. it PISSES me off when kids are like 'how do i Find My Art Style??'#it's like. when you find a label and you try to fit yourself into that label instead of doing self exploration and finding a label that fit#YOU. or just doing away with labels entirely#it doesn't piss me off in a Kids These Days kinda way but in a Don't You Know It's A Trap kinda way#humans crave variety!! fuck#dude you don't have to stick to one thing forever. branch out!! hold my hand. come with me. i will show you#sketchbook tutorials are so. inspirational to me. like they make me feel good. it feels good to look at peoples' art and it's a bonus#that it's such a personal thing they're sharing. but they're all the same and they also make me feel endlessly hopelss#so i avoid them like the plague. i think my problem is that i hate art school and being told what to do with my art#guidance with a specific thing you're working on is one thing but so much of it is like 'you need to develop these skills to do art good'#and like. you really don't. if that's boring and you hate it and it makes you wanna die then don't do it#fuck around with ms paint and 'perfect your craft' on there and like#find people who like your art and whose are you like and collaborate because community is a part of it also#make a quilt. follow a pattern. make your own fucked up pattern and then realize there's an easier way to make a pattern#do. mud sculptures. buy some dollar store clay.#don't spend more than you have to on art supplies. use a mouse to draw for goodness sake it's so freeing#i'm mad about nothing if you couldn't tell. i'm very sleepy and i want to make art but i don't have the energy#gonna make another hat later
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littleteacupdragon · 1 year
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Guys please don't tell me I'm going to figure out that I'm aro, I got lucky with not going through the "I'm straight - bi - ace" sequence, i don't wanna admit that this exact thing happened to me with romantic attraction
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