#I don't think he'd ever fully heal from what happened

[meownotgood]

i don't see anyone talk about aki's depression (from losing his family & partners, the obsession with revenge etc) so do you have any thoughts about it? and how he kind of heals towards the end of the series with the help of denji and power? i think it should be focused more because he's very emotionally exhausted & depressed for the majority of the series, for good reasons, but everyone kind of seems to dismiss at as "haha edgy black haired deuteragonist"

I think about this so much. aki must have struggled so terribly after losing his family, I believe he's suffered from depression pretty much his entire life. he feels so guilty, directly thinks he's responsible for his brother's death. he doesn't care what happens to him as long as he can kill the gun devil. when he says in the manga that he can't look at himself objectively because he wouldn't be able to go on if he did, I think he's also saying that he can't stop pushing himself, he has to keep fighting because he'll be empty otherwise.

also I just have a lot of personal headcanons about aki when it comes to this.... he's frequently seen staying up late and waking up early so I think he doesn't get much sleep, it's hard for him to fall asleep and perhaps he doesn't want to because of bad dreams.

he doesn't take interest in many hobbies, sometimes he reads or watches movies but it's just to pass the time, none of it has ever been all that compelling to him. he isn't really interested in romantic things either, doesn't care much for dating or sex, even if he had the time for it. he's a big fan of routines, sticking to them strongly because if he doesn't, it's easy for him to slip. he always wakes up at the exact same time every day so he won't have an excuse to stay in bed. he makes dinner every night at seven and prepares what he's going to make days in advance so he'll never forget to eat.

and his relationship to denji and power... the first important step for him is when he quits smoking, since it was something he clinged to for a long time. eventually all he cares about is keeping denji and power safe and happy... they gave him so much purpose in his life... uuggghh I need to explode like immediately

[ghoulfuckersincorporated]

Cooper realizing he's falling in love with his companion would be so weird for both of them.

I imagine it would be a long, awkward, painful (at least for Coop) road dotted with increasingly significant gestures, increasingly intimate moments...but there would also have to be a sort of "healing" from the way things have been so far.

I mean, he's only stayed alive this long by being ruthless, selfish, doing whatever he needed to do to look out for number one. Falling in love with someone, caring about them, fucks that M.O. up pretty badly.

If he wants you to stick around, he has to show you he can treat you well. We know that he loves so passionately and deeply when he does, that he has the capacity for it. But, at the same time, it's so difficult for him to be vulnerable enough to show that kind of tenderness to someone again. He's confident in himself when it comes to most things, but this is fairly uncharted territory. He's not even sure he fully remembers how to romance a lady.

He never sleeps, so he always sits up keeping watch overnight. You wake up one morning to find that he's cleaned your guns, sharpened your knives while you slept. Soon, that becomes a regular occurrence. Another morning, after a particularly cool night in the desert, you find that his duster is draped over you. Low-pressure gestures like this, ones he can perform when you aren't watching, are the easiest for him at first. You always thank him for these things, but for a long while you fail to truly realize their significance. As far as you're concerned, he's just demonstrating that he finds you tolerable, which is better than he's acted towards you in the past. Maybe he's even apologizing for being shitty in his own way.

But slowly, the gestures start to happen in the light of day. He'll slow his pace to walk side-by-side with you, instead of leaving you struggling to keep up with his long strides. He lends you his hat when the scorching sun roasts your face, at least, until he finds another one for you. One day you come across an expanse you'll need to cross, but it's up to your shins in disgusting muck and water. He offers to carry you across. You look at him like he has six heads, completely unsure if he's mocking you or not. You don't accept the offer...this time around.

If you're doing drugs together, he offers you the last hit, the last line, whatever. Funnily enough, this is what makes you start to realize that he may be trying to communicate something else; he's selfish about a lot of things, but his drug stash is undoubtedly the biggest. You were floored enough when he'd offered to share at all. When he makes that offer the first time, you look at him for what feels like a long while before you accept.

You also lean in and give him a kiss on his rough, pitted cheek when you take whatever it is from him, terrified that you're misreading the situation and he'll shove you away. But he doesn't; he smiles at you, a more genuine and relaxed smile than you think you've ever seen on him before. But then he looks away, almost shyly, and things are quiet again.

That night, you lay your head on his lap when he sits down beside you. He doesn't say anything, but as you're drifting off to sleep, you feel him start to play softly with your hair.

[surielstea]

Life Debts

Eris Week day 3: Healing

Pairing: Eris Vanserra x Fem!Reader

Summary: Eris comes to Reader for a sleeping tonic, but she has run out, so they find other ways to find enough exhaustion for sleep.

Warnings: Smut | 18+ | Minors DNI | Creampie | teasing | p in v | penetration | he’s so hot pls I need him so badly

A. Note: this wasn’t originally going to be smut but I love to spoil you guys soo 🎀🎀

4k words.

My heart pounded against my ribs at the sound of warriors preparing for battle. Mentally, I wasn't ready to watch all the soldiers lose their life, I didn't think I'd ever be, the male whom I could not save, no matter how much I tried.

I was in the midst of creating a basic salve used for deeper gashes that didn't require stitches, the ointment taking effect long enough to fight off any infection as well as numb the pain.

I was grinding different plants with magical properties into the mortar when a familiar red-headed general came into my tent, clutching his side.

I give the lordling a very disappointed look. "Don't start," He warned, holding up his other hand before I could begin complaining.

"Those stitches took me forever and you've already broken them? It hasn’t even been a full day.” I begin to complain anyway.

He walked with such a casual grace, even with a splitting wound in his side, he did not falter. He sat on my workbench silently. I sighed. "What happened?"

"Training with the others, we leave at dawn and some of my soldiers are paranoid. I was only trying to help them take the edge off." He argued and I shook my head, gathering my medical bag and plopping it down onto the desk beside him.

"You're too careless." I reprimand, beginning to unbutton his simple tunic that would usually have armor over it, slowly revealing more and more of his chest.

I steel my features. I've been cutting clothes off wounded soldiers my whole life, it was nothing to marvel at— but the blush on my cheeks said otherwise.

"Careless? Or did I just want an excuse to come and see my favorite healer in all the lands?" He suggests and I flick my eyes up at him, sending him a glare.

"You don't need an excuse to see me," I mumble softly, finishing with his tunic and pulling it off his arms. He was fully capable of doing it himself, and I probably should've let him, but I'd be lying if I said I didn't like the feel of his warm skin brushing my fingertips.

"No, but I did need an excuse for you to take my clothes off," He says in a snarky tone and I swallow thickly, rummaging through the medical pack for something to clean his wound with.

I hated him. Not because he was cruel to me, or because of who his father is, but because he made me feel so helpless. I've been patching men up with worse wounds than this for centuries, and yet he had me fumbling with a pack of gauze nervously like some novice.

Anxiety was a healer's worst fear because a single slip up or jerk of hand could cost a man his life. And yet he made me so damned tense every time he was too close.

I somehow managed to conjure a clean cloth covered in antiseptic that I could clean his deep wound with.

He'd be fine, but it'd be uncomfortable for a while. He hisses as the cloth comes to his wound and eases to the side.

I ignore him as I pull the cloth away and grab the sterilized needle and silk thread. My hand is perfectly steady as I begin restitching the wound. "Stop squirming," I grumble.

"Are you trying to make it hurt?" He gritted through clenched teeth.

"You're the one who went and opened your wound after I so graciously healed you." I snarl.

"Well it wasn't as if I asked to—" He was cut off by a particularly deep prick. "Gods, do you hate me?" He seethed and I smiled slightly. Good, it was easier if he hated me. "I do," I hum softly, almost weakly, tuning out all his hisses and groans as I focus on his torso, the suture coming together and helping meld his flesh back together.

I owed my life to Eris, he had saved me from his father's tents and the men he kept around. I had just healed one of the High Lord's commanders when he tried to repay me with what he thought I wanted, typical male pride leading him to believe that doing my job and caring for his wounds was coming onto him. Eris had stopped it and took me to where his battalion stayed, they were a lot kinder, for war mongrels that is. I hadn't expected it meant that I was now his personal healer, but here we were.

"I don't understand you," He mumbled out of the blue and I crease my brows, but don't look away from what I was doing. "You say you hate me, and yet you heal me with delicate hands." He mumbles, perplexed at my opposing sides.

I couldn't offer an explanation, because I too was often confused by my actions. I tried to say it was because I owed him but, I don't, not anymore at least. Then I tried to argue that it was immoral to let a man bleed, but even that didn't feel right. There was a foreign feeling in the pit of my stomach that only ever appeared when he was around, it was something like longing or reverence but it felt deeper than that, it felt like a connection, and seeing him hurt sent my blood boiling that my body willed no other choice but to heal him.

I shrug. "It's my job," I settle on saying. "You pay me, so I have to help you. But no one likes their boss," I say with a huff, not fully believing my own words as I tie off the silk thread and finish with his wound.

"No, no because you're worried about me." He shakes his head and I risk a glance at his amber eyes. "Of course, I'm worried about you," I swallow thickly, unwrapping a pad of gauze and wrapping it around his torso as an extra layer of protection, just in case.

"And if you die at dawn, if I find you on that battlefield I'll revive you," I finish tying off the gauze and look at him with a stubborn expression. "I'll find a way to bring you back, just so I can kill you myself. Understand?" I raise a brow at him and he smirks, standing from the workbench— which makes me crane my neck back.

"How romantic of you," His sultry smile doesn't ease as he tugs his shirt back on. "Perhaps I will die just so I can see the lengths you'll go to bring me back," He purrs and I frown at even taunting me about it, the idea made me so ill that I thought I might hurl.

I grip his shirt in my fist, silently begging. "Don't," I whisper. "Please, don't die." My voice nearly quivers but I will it to remain steady.

He gives me a sloppy smirk and he swoops down, pressing a soft kiss to my cheek and before I can even get the chance to process it he's pulling away.

"Have a little faith in your general, would you?" He arched a brow and the confidence in his voice makes me think he genuinely split his stitches on purpose, just so he could tell me not to worry.

"I'm sure I'll see you in here later," He says and I swallow thickly. I didn't want to, I never wanted him in these healing tents again because he was hurt. I wanted him to be rid of me and alive, rather than in pain and with me.

"Be safe." That is all I can reply with before he pulls back the flap of my tent and exits the space that now feels all too small without him in it.

The knock on my door makes me startle up from bed. I hadn't been sleeping anyway, the aftereffects of war had taken their toll on my mind, if I fell asleep I'd be reliving the bloodshed, seeing the faces of the men who I couldn't save, hearing the screams and pleads for mercy below the battle cries.

I swallowed down my nausea and slipped out of bed, padding on the cold marble towards the door. I swing it open, revealing a familiar redhead, shirtless.

"Don't tell me you split your stitches again?" I groan, looking at his abdomen where his wound was, bandages still intact and recently changed. I smile softly, at least he was taking care of it. My eyes flick back up to his.

"No, no I can't sleep," He muttered. "Do you have a tonic or something?" He scratched the side of his neck and I shifted on my feet, looking back to my room where all of my vials of sleeping tonic were emptied and discarded along my bedside table.

"I'm out, but I can make some real quick," I say, I was planning on doing it in the morning but he seemed that he might collapse without another night's rest. "Come in," I pull the door open wider.

He steps into my small suite, closing the door behind him.

I tiredly stumbled over to the window sill where plants and roots were lined in jars. "You can't sleep either?" The Lord asks, looking around my rooms curiously as if he's never stepped foot in the healers' quarters before.

"There's no point," I say while collecting the herbs and oils needed to make the tonic before dumping them all down onto my work table haphazardly. "It just results in night terrors," I confess, too tired to put a wall up.

His eyes flick back to me, and I can feel them raking up my figure. I hadn't realized I was in a short nightgown until I felt his gaze on my bare legs and arms, the fabric hanging high at my thighs. I ignore the feeling slinking up my spine and begin crushing dried leaves under my palm, then grinding them in a mortar.

He stalked closer, standing behind me now and peering over my shoulder. I could feel the heat rolling off of his shirtless body, but he didn't make contact.

"Have you tried any other methods, of trying to sleep?" He asks, his voice low with exhaustion. I dare a glance back at him, and immediately regret it. His amber eyes seemed to look right through me, to my soul.

I was suddenly very aware of the fact that we were alone in my chambers, both of us wearing far too little, and standing far too close. "Like what?"

His low laugh caught me by surprise, a deep and velvety sound that filled the room and lingered for a moment longer than it should have. He moved forward, leaning his hands against the work table and trapping me between his arms. He towered over me, so much so that I was forced to crane my neck up to keep his gaze. His scent filled me to my very core, cinnamon and clove and crackling campfires. "Well, a lonely bed certainly isn't helpful when trying to get some rest," He suggests and I avert my gaze and turn back around.

His breath was against my neck as I continued to work, quicker than before, my movements almost panicked.

He seemed to notice the shift in pace or perhaps scented my mix of arousal and tenseness. "Are you nervous, Fawn?" He asked and I swallowed down the lump in my throat. "I'm just— just tired," I shake my head, attempting to convince myself more than him. It wasn't a lie, but it surely wasn't the reason my hands shook.

His deep chuckle rang again and suddenly the room was freezing and he was the only warmth, my fingers ached to reach back and touch him. He leans closer, his bare chest pressing against my shoulder blades. I knew he heard my breath subtly increasing, my pulse pounding. "Is that why your heart is beating so fast?" He purred, the sound just beside my ear.

I didn't reply, focused on bottling the thick liquid in the small vial.

Before he can move any closer I whirl around to face him, plugging the vial with a cork and shoving it into his chest. "Finished." I smile gently.

His eyes don't leave mine as he takes the small bottle from me, his hand brushing mine. "Thank you," He said softly.

"You're welcome." I nodded, but didn't move, not that I could get far, I was still caged by his proximity.

Eris knew deep down he should pull away, and give you space during these trying times, but he's never been good at doing the right things, so instead he advanced and his hands moved to my hips.

"If this tonic doesn't work, there's surely another way we could find sleep, yes?" He arches a brow and I shift under his stare, the warmth of his fingertips seemingly burning through the silk of my nightgown.

"Surely," I whisper softly, looking up at him with only one intention being expressed in my eyes.

His eyes darkened at my reply, and one of his hands lowered, past my hip down to my thigh, to the hem of my nightgown. "And would you, my healer, be open to that second option?" He tilts his head, cocking it in a way that was more animal than man.

"In the name of science, or for our own selfish purposes?" I ask, attempting to ignore the way he was toying with the hem of my flimsy nightgown, and the heady scent of my need for him spreading throughout the room.

He smirked and leaned closer, breath mingling as his lips ghosted over your jaw as he said, "Can't it be both?" Into the shell of my ear. A shiver ran down my spine at the intense need that rocked through me. His hand on my waist moved, to my jaw, my chin in his hand as he angled his head up towards me.

"Or would you prefer only for our selfish, pleasurable reasons?" He suggests and my stomach knots. I willed myself to push him away, to tell him that he was a lord and I was little more than a servant. But I couldn't. He smiled at my lack of reply. "Go on Fawn, tell me," He prompts with a foxlike smirk that sent my insides fluttering with butterflies. "What do you want?"

He waited for my words to come, it'd be so easy to pin me to this work table and begin worshipping me, but he reeled in his most animalistic instincts and waited patiently for me to form my thoughts into words.

"You," I finally manage to get out. "I want you to touch me," I say, shame tinting my cheeks pink.

He smirks. "Where do you want me to touch you?" He tilts his head mockingly and my stomach coils. "Here?" He asks, his hand dipping beneath my slip and gripping my thigh. "Or," His thumb inches closer to my core. "Here?" He suggests, brushing over the seam of my panties.

"There," I plead, a gasp shuddering through me. His smile grows into something feral as he feels the way I was pressing my thighs together, wanting so desperately to have his touch.

"Yeah?" He purrs, adjusting so that his two longest fingers pressed into my clothed folds, just enough pressure to tease. It was an effort not to grind down onto the touch.

"You've ruined these panties, my girl, and I've barely touched you," He whispers, his lips ghosting mine. I let out a soft sigh when he rubs my covered pussy. I ached to get the barrier of my soaked underwear off, but he was enjoying this, seeing me restrain from writhing down on his hand.

"Please," I whimper softly. "Please, take them off," I say with a raw tenderness in my voice that sent the male into a spiral of lust and desire.

"You're sure? Once we start I doubt I'll be able to stop," He warns and my nerves set alight at that.

"I'm sure," I nod hurriedly.

The confirmation was all he needed to hear before his lips attached to mine, prying my mouth open and pushing his tongue in to taste me thoroughly. The hand that had been on my chin moved to the back of my head, pulling me in deeper as he claimed my mouth.

It was marvelous, all the tension that had been between us these past few weeks was breaking, finally snapping in two the moment his lips met mine.

I shivered as he pulled at my panties, the resounding rip of fabric echoing throughout the room as the cloth fell from my hips. He drank in every soft sound I made, devouring it and swallowing the noise down greedily.

"My girl," he whispers into my mouth and I let out a sultry moan as his fingers finally delved between my dripping folds.

"Eris," I sighed as his thumb pressed onto my clit. My hands came to his shoulders, digging my nails into the bare skin as he pushed my nightgown up my thighs, bunching it at my hips.

His middle finger traced lazy circles around my neglected entrance and I shivered. "No, no Eris," I panted out and his hand immediately retracted. I grabbed his wrist, not letting him get far.

"What's wrong?" He asks with furrowed brows and I shake my head.

"I want your cock," I beg softly and I swore for a moment his eyes went golden. "I don't want to wait, I need you inside of me," I say, my pleas falling from my lips shamelessly.

"Turn around then," He ordered and my heart rate fluttered.

I do as he says, hinging myself over the work table as he thrashes off his pants and everything else beneath them until we are both bare and needy for each other. He pushed up my dress higher, exposing my backside and I swore a growl rumbled from him.

He gripped my hips tightly, and when his hardened length pressed into my folds I let out a quivering moan, my slick dripping onto him as a natural lubricant. I roll my hips down onto his pulsing cock, my hips digging into the edge of the desk.

"Gods you're dripping," He said, his voice half a groan. "All for me," He smiles and I nod hastily, clenching around nothing as I impatiently wait for his penetration.

After a few more drags of his cock he aligns with my aching core, and without another word, slowly pushes into me.

I mewl loudly as the thick head of his cock stretches me wide, the rest of him filling me to the brim.

"You're so, damned tight," He grunted out as I took every inch of him into me with greedy pleasure. My back bows as he finally sheathed fully inside of me, his hips digging into the plushness of my ass.

"You— you can move," I nod after a moment of adjusting, struggling to form the words due to how he was forming my walls around him, molding me to fit him.

"Tap the desk twice if it's too much, yeah?" He says and I nod in understanding.

He then begins to slowly pull out, then thrust back in, stuffing himself back inside of me.

A soft moan escapes me with every roll of his hips, his speed steadily increasing. He grew faster and faster, rougher until the table was creaking breath the weight and my thighs were pressing into the sharp edges of it. But I barely felt the pain, too caught up in the pleasure of his thick cock buried inside of me.

He finally set on a brutal pace, his length dragging through my walls and toying with that sensitive spot that left me a drooling, whining mess. My body bounced against the cold table painfully, but it was all pleasure when it came to him. "Eris," I gasped and he threw his head back, his fingers digging into the skin of my waist, so possessive I wouldn't be surprised if I found marks come the morning.

"Fuck, say my name again Fawn," He groans and I do, with every thrust, it was his name coming from my lips. "Louder, I want this whole castle knowing who's making you feel this good," He drawls.

I screamed his name, my feet slowly lifting me from the ground as he lost control and began to push me up the table with his thrusts. My toes barely brushed the floor when he pressed my hips down onto the desk, preventing me from writhing any further.

I arched my back and he leaned over me, his sweat-slicked chest pressing to my shoulders. The new angle made him press into a spot deep inside of me that made my vision blur. I clamped down onto his pulsing length and he smiled against my neck, his teeth grazing over my pulse point. "That's it, squeeze my cock just like that," He instructs and I shakily gasp as I keep a leash on my building release.

"I'm close," I warn and he nips at my skin with his sharp canines, not enough to draw blood but enough to inflict pain.

"I know baby, me too," He confesses softly, fucking me wildly with reckless abandon.

"Come inside," I pleaded and his control snapped.

"You sure?" His voice bordered on a growl.

"It's okay 'm on a contraceptive," I murmur. "Just, fill me Eris." I plead and any sliver of restraint he had left disappeared at those final three words.

"Come for me, come on my cock baby," He grunts out through a clenched jaw, and as if by his command, my release crashed through me. My vision hazed as I reached my peak, my very bones singing with the feeling of ecstasy.

His climax quickly followed mine due to the way I convulsed and twitched around him. His cock pulsed violently as his warm come unloads into my womb, still thrusting and pushing it deeper into me, seeping into every crevice ensuring every last drop was nestled inside me.

Eris buried his face into the crook of my neck, his breathing hitching as my quiet moans filled the room. I slowly came down from my high and relaxed onto the work table, my fingers shaky as I planted them down onto the wood. He pressed a soft kiss to the bite mark he had most likely left, the gentle touch rivaling his earlier roughness.

"You did so well," He praised, kissing up to my jaw. My heart swelled at the intimate movement, the kissing somehow seeming more damning than what took place only moments ago.

Ever so slowly he pulls out from my overstimulated entrance. I press my thighs together at the absence of him and he guides me away from the desk, into his arms as he swoops me up bridal style. My eyes droop with exhaustion as I burrow into his warm chest.

"No sleeping yet, I'm going to get you cleaned up first," He ordered and I let out a low whine in protest and he chuckled, leaning down and pressing a soft kiss to my forehead, then one to the tip of my nose, then finally my lips. Weakly I kissed back, my hand coming up to kiss cheek. He bit my lower lip and I smiled at the sensation.

He pulled back and I looked up at him adoringly. "You keep staring at me like that and we're definitely not sleeping tonight," He said and I smirked but averted my gaze and leaned onto his shoulder, allowing him to carry me into my bathing chambers where he drew me a hot bath and cleaned me up.

We both slept in each other's arms last night, a deep slumber encasing us, and for the first time in weeks, I didn't have any nightmares, not when Eris's arms kept me warm throughout the night, reminding me I was safe now.

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[kerryweaverlesbian]

Here's a morsel of truth for you. If Dean ever became genuine friends with another angel, Cas would become so sick with jealousy he would NOT be able to keep it together even 2 sentences of Dean saying anything nice about them. In a way that he wouldn't with a human Dean got close to.

Oh, so they get to be a fully powered angel, AND have the esteem of angel society, AND have Dean's affection AND are probably more useful to him than Cas can be (due to point one) AND don't have the guilt of the ages. Cas would be SICK. He'd be as rude to their face as he can (until Dean goes 🥺 can't you just try to get along 🥺 for me? 🥺 👉👈 you know I like you better) and make a lot of pointed comments about how he and Dean have a profound bond and history and he'd find excuses to keep them away from Dean on hunts (which often backfires because then Cas has to hang out with them without Dean, and he can't stand them). He'd make a scene. He'd 'double check' if they ever healed Dean (which could only happen if Cas wasn't there bc Cas would not be shy about physically pushing them aside to heal Dean first) by holding his hand to Dean's forehead and staring deeply into his eyes for way too long, giving him so much Grace his skin gets a little magnetised for a week.

Dean. Btw. Would not help. He notices this early on and, unfortunately for Cas, thinks it's cute, funny, hot and harmless and also gratifying to have Cas get so protective and borderline stalkery over him. He'd absolutely egg this on by getting more touchy-feely with the other angel only when he knows Cas is watching, and feigns obliviousness ("but why would that bother you? We're just talking." And Cas barely understands his own negative reaction to the other angel and he and Dean aren't dating at all so has no rebuttal). Obviously if push came to shove and Cas talkes about how he feels like he needs to be Useful to be Family and that his place is being usurped Dean would reassure him and probably snog him but before that Dean would have a lot of fun.

However this would never happen because Dean hates all other angels specifically for how they chose to be part of the system Cas bravely rebelled against, didn't see it for what it was or did and didn't care, they value their power and status over all of humanity, AND they HURT CAS which is unconscionable to Dean. So he wouldn't be friends with a full powered angel, and Castiel would be infinitely less jealous of a fallen one. So. Phew!! Lucky on that count, Castiel!!!

[runningfrom2am]

cold nights // part nineteen

summary: you showed him colours he knows he can't see with anyone else.

pairing: coriolanus snow x fem!reader

wc: 3.3k

masterlists / nav / requests

tags/warnings: tribute!reader and mentor!coriolanus, r is very sweet (too kind for this world. literally.), sunshine x grumpy trope kinda, he falls first, violence typical for the source material, depictions of mental illness, also she's is very smart (as she should), district twelve!reader.

a/n: i'm sorry it took me so long to post this omg i am behind on writing bc i'm so sick but i'm also trying to get ahead on requiem BUT-

Important Announcement!!:

cold nights will officially have a season 3! i wasn't sure but i had a good idea for what the epilogue would be and then i realized it would be so much better as another fully developed idea. so, that will be coming soon!!

my asks are also open to talk about this series! (i do have emoji anons open now too!)

send me any and all of your thoughts! here!

series masterlist // playlist

Coryo smiles as you run up ahead of him, picking up his pace slightly and dropping his bag next to yours.

Some of the others are already stripped down to their bathing suits and running down the dock. It is beautiful here, not that he ever doubted you.

He watches as you peel off your dress, another short one similar to the one you had worn for most of the time he'd known you. This one wasn't sewn in at the middle, so you can slip it quickly over your head. Your bathing suit must have been homemade, too, and it allowed him to see how the bruises and scratches on your back were all but healed while you toss your dress to the ground. He notices quickly that it was exactly the same as Lucy Gray's, maybe your mother had made you matching ones. That's so sweet.

Your skin looked so beautifully soft- just like it should have the first time he saw it, spare for the scars on your calf and your arm, it was just what he imagined.

You kick your shoes off, and the wood of the dock is hot against your bare feet as you run down to the end, diving head-first off to the side to avoid jumping right onto any of your friends.

It seemed to Coryo that you weren't afraid anymore as you briefly looked back at him while you were running. The excited scream you let out when you lept from the dock made his heart flutter. This is exactly what he had wanted, from the very beginning.

When Coryo jumps in behind you, you can hear his shout and feel the water shift around you as his body breaks the surface. You turn under the water, its clarity allowing you to see where everyone is. You loved this. The memories of this lake kept you safe, almost. You can hear muffled laughter above the water, deciding to take your time before coming up for air. You didn't need it just yet.

You swim away from everyone deep under the surface, scanning the lake floor for anything interesting. Really, it was just sticks and rocks and mud, but one day you may find something else exciting, but not today.

"Where is she going?" Coryo comments, watching your body as you kick away deeper under the water.

"Wherever she wants." Lennox answers plainly, treading water as he stares at him.

"She's looking for secrets." Maude Ivory giggles, splashing him in the face. At least she gave him somewhat of an answer.

He quickly lifts an arm to block the wave, but it fails miserably. "What kind of secrets will she find at the bottom of the lake?" He coughs out, wiping the water from his eyes.

"Once we found a watch." Lucy Gray shrugs, looking from him to you. "Which is odd because we didn't know anyone else knew about this place. The secrets are what happens when we aren't here."

You hardly noticed the lack of oxygen until it almost felt too late, quickly swimming up and pushing your hair out of your face so you don't inhale it by mistake.

"Anything good today?" Lucy Gray shouts over to you as soon as she's noticed you've come up.

"There is nothing either good or bad, but thinking makes it so!" You pant, pushing yourself through the water back toward her.

"So, that's a no?" Sejanus asks and you laugh, shaking your head.

"Just rocks and sticks." You explain, joining them again and bumping shoulders with Lucy Gray. "Some weeds, if that's your fancy."

"Oh, yes, that's right up my alley." Sejanus chuckles, cupping his hands to block out the glare of the sun as he looks down into the water anyway.

"I've never been to a lake before," Coryo says, breathing heavily as the waves from the kids splashing keep coming up too close to his face.

"What? Really?" Lucy Gray and Sejanus ask in unison, and you smile at him.

He nods, eyes locking with yours. You feel the need to say something. "Is it everything you dreamt of?" You ask.

"Just about." He grins.

"Oh? What's missing?" You giggle.

Oh, only being able to hold you without retraumatizing you.

"It's not that anything is missing," He comes up with as an excuse. "There's just more birds than I expected."

"Oh, yeah. They like it out here." You hum, looking up at the trees while Lucy Gray whistles out a tune for them to mimic. You smile. "Why, you don't like birds either?"

"Never been the biggest fan, no." He chuckles.

The birds echo her song back to you repeatedly. Coryo turns around to watch as if there was anything to see besides these black birds flitting around the trees and above the cabin. "What kind of birds are they?" He asks. "I've never seen that before."

"We call 'em Mockingjays." Lucy Gray tells him.

"'Cause they'll mock ya if you mess up the song!" Clerk Carmine jumps in, climbing onto Lucy Gray's back under the water.

"Oh, I wouldn't know." Your friend teases him, gripping tight onto the boy's legs as he starts to shout. He knows what's about to happen, and clearly you do too as Coryo watches you and your brother quickly swim out of their reach and closer to him.

You laugh, watching as Lucy Gray takes a big dramatic breath in and sinks under the surface of the water, pulling CC down with her as he screams and splashes.

The sun dried you quickly after you decided you had had enough of the water, climbing back out onto the dock and deciding to just lay your blanket there to dry off on while you took the book and snacks from your bag.

Coryo had been sitting with Lucy Gray and Sejanus, but they were just talking to each other more than him. Not that he could have paid much attention. He was just watching you.

"Can I go talk to her?" He asks with little regard for the conversation that he was interrupting.

They both look over at him. "I mean, you could try. Would that be okay?" Sejanus answers, looking to Lucy Gray for confirmation.

"No. Let her have her peace and quiet." Lennox interrupts as he walks back up in front of them, pulling his shirt back onto his now fully dried skin.

Lucy Gray sighs."Just... Don't be stupid." She advises Coryo, nodding him on. "Len, we'll be right here."

Your brother shakes his head slightly, glaring between the three of them with nothing short of adamant disapproval.

Coryo nods slightly, taking the preferable answer by getting up and heading back down onto the dock.

Lennox looks back over his shoulder to where he just was with Maude Ivory looking for katniss, before taking Coryo's spot on the deck.

"Did she not tell you anything about him?" Lennox mumbles to Lucy Gray, eyes locked on his sister and her 'friend' as he stands over her. "No, she must have- because you were at The Hob last week. You saw it."

"I saw a girl with a lot of unresolved trauma have an episode." Lucy Gray explains, watching Lennox take Coryo's spot next to her. "He made a mistake, but he wouldn't ever hurt her."

Your brother opens his mouth to argue, but Sejanus interrupts. "I know it isn't my place, but Lucy Gray is right. He would sooner die than hurt her."

"Okay, well, explain how he's sitting right next to her when he's already hurt her so bad she may never recover!" Lennox whispers, gesturing to the dock as if they couldn't already see you there.

"I'm not defending anything he's done. That's not what I meant." Sejanus explains. "I just mean he would never do it on purpose."

"Accidents are clearly bad enough."

"Len, he just wants to make amends now." Lucy Gray insists. "And she wants that. I know she does, she's really trying."

"Listen, if it helps..." Sejanus starts, looking back out at you and Coryo on the dock. He can tell how nervous his friend is, watching you intently as he picks at the wood finish beneath him and listening to you talk. "He really loves her. I know it's not my place to tell you that, but it was bad when she was gone. He hardly spoke a word to anyone, he wouldn't put her book down- it was really hard on him. We weren't sure if she had been executed for cheating, and it was killing him to be left in the dark."

"That's not love, that's guilt." Lennox mutters, watching you closely.

"What's the difference between love and guilt?" Lucy Gray asks him rhetorically. "He wouldn't feel guilty if he didn't care."

"The difference is he wouldn't have come here and made the same mistake again."

Lucy Gray bites into her lip, slightly shaking her head. That was an honestly good point.

"I was in the arena, too. I saw what he did." Sejanus says after a moment. "He saved my life, it was my fault. It was shocking... you know, the overkill, but I can't say for certain I wouldn't have done the same thing. We were both pumped so full of adrenaline that I truly believe that's what it was." He explains. "I mean, I was behind him, so I don't know what she saw- but it looked like adrenaline to me."

"How do you think she felt?" Lennox asks, eyes wide. "She was in there for three days! You and him were there for what, ten minutes?"

"Wait..." Lucy Gray backpedals, looking at Sejanus. "Sejanus, what do you mean you thought he was executed for cheating? Like, in the games?"

Sejanus swallows, nodding. He looks over at you but quickly looks away. "Yeah, uh... Coryo told me that she used rat poison to kill two of the others. And he did something to keep the snakes from biting her, but I don't think he was caught for that."

Your brother and best friend look at each other like they'd just seen a ghost before their eyes simultaneously track to you. You were laughing.

"She didn't... She didn't tell me that." Lucy Gray says quietly. "Did you know, Len?"

"No."

"That doesn't surprise me." Sejanus shrugs and they both look at him, shocked and confused. "Well, she doesn't know either. I don't think, definitely not about the snakes, but she told the Dean it was salt. That I gave her." He laughs slightly at the end, but they don't find it funny. "By the time she left, she was fully delusional about it. She knew what it was, Coryo gave it to her to protect herself because he needed her to win. She was really upset by the insinuation that it, in fact, was not salt."

Lucy Gray and Lennox look at each other again, unsure what to say. It must have been worse than they thought. Regardless, they knew it must be eating you alive.

"Can I join you?" You hear Coryo's voice above you after about ten minutes of listening to the mockingjays sing Lucy Gray's song back to her as she sat on the porch of the cabin. The sun was so warm on your skin that you could have fallen asleep here if you weren't reading your book.

You squint against the sun as you look up at him. "Yes, you may." You agree, and you feel him sitting down next to you as the wood creaks below him.

You find yourself holding your breath, even as you return to your book to try and remain relaxed.

He's not going to hurt you.

"What are you reading?" He asks after a moment, thinking your arms must be asleep for using them to hold the book and support your weight for so long.

"It's called 'Much Ado About Nothing'." You answer. "Another Shakespeare piece."

"Do you like it?" He asks, lifting his leg to rest his elbow on his knee while you sit up, crossing your legs and letting the book fall into your lap.

"I do." You smile down at the page. It is much more lighthearted than Romeo and Juliet, as much as you would have loved to come home and drown yourself in your favourite book- the boy next to you unintentionally made it impossible. God, you were so embarrassed by the letter you wrote to him. Your cheeks flush just think about it. All you did by surviving was make everything weird.

"Another tragedy?" He inquires, attempting to read some of the words on the page as it's opened on your lap.

"No." You chuckle, shaking your head. "It's a romantic comedy, actually."

"Oh, wow. You changed it up?" He asks, only somewhat shocked. It would only make sense that you couldn't handle much more tragedy since you've been home.

"I did." You smile. "It's quite funny."

"Will you read me your favourite part?" He suggests, watching your eyes as they light up with excitement from the request.

"Okay, so..." You quickly flip back through the pages and into the first act, scanning for the lines you're looking for. "Okay. Here." You pretend to clear your throat.

"In our last conflict four of his five wits went halting off, and now is the whole man governed with one: so that if he have wit enough to keep himself warm, let him bear it for a difference between himself and his horse; for it is all the wealth that he hath left, to be known a reasonable creature." You recite, dragging your finger along the page so he can track what you are reading. You remembered it, but it might have been easier for him to follow that way.

Coryo watched you the whole time, and by the end, you were a giggling mess. You thought it was absolutely hilarious, and he smiles at that.

"What does that mean?" He chuckles.

"So," You laugh, a hand pressed to your chest. "Basically, she's talking about how she was arguing with Benedick and won. The punchline is that she let him keep one of his wits, because if she didn't no one would be able to tell him from his horse."

Coryo laughs at that, shaking his head. "That is good." He agrees.

"Isn't it?" You smile. "It's a welcome change of pace."

"Yeah, Romeo and Juliet was... yikes." He says, ticking his jaw and peeling up some of the wood from the dock between you.

"You read it?" You ask quietly, eyes widening as you look over at him. It shouldn't shock you, he told you he would, and that he even looked forward to it. "What did you think?"

"Of course I did," Coryo nods. "I really enjoyed it."

"It doesn't seem like it..." You laugh nervously, looking down as you flip back to the page you were on before closing the book.

"No, truly. I did." He insists. "Just... for lack of a better term, it was tragic."

"Yes, well..." You chuckle, shrugging slightly and tucking your book back into the bag next to you.

"It was heartbreaking!" He laughs suddenly. "And that's your favourite?" He looks at you then, head tilted as he slightly shakes his head.

"Okay, so," You laugh, rolling your eyes. You were used to defending this to others who have tried reading it. "That's what makes it so beautiful. It's so touching, they died for each other thinking they were in love, but they also hardly knew each other. It forces you to wonder what could have been, and I like that."

"Okay, well, you're right." Coryo agrees. "I didn't like the ending, but that's the point, I suppose. The rest was good, it reminded me a lot of you."

"I think I forced a bias onto you. My apologies."

"You didn't force anything on me." He smiles, shaking his head. "All I knew is that you loved it, and that made it so much better."

Your cheeks flush as you busy yourself by pulling out the bag of cherries. "Would you like some?" You offer the bag to him and he reaches in, taking just a couple out and popping one into his mouth.

"I finished it all before you left." Coryo tells you, and you hold him out another empty paper bag to spit the pits into.

"That good?" You smile and he nods.

"Can I..." Coryo starts, and you tilt your head at him. He doesn't want to ruin your day by bringing this up. Everything on your face shows hope, even excitement for what he is going to say. "If you can't hear this stop me, but the book made great company in the mentor hall."

For a moment, he saw nervousness flicker behind your eyes, but still, you nodded. You wanted to hear anything he had to say- you just hoped you could stomach it.

"Oh, that's fine. I'm... I'm glad." You try and smile, distracting yourself by popping a cherry into your mouth.

"I was alone most of the time. I didn't go home." He tells you, trying to say what he wanted but still be as vague as possible.

"It must have been so horribly boring." You laugh nervously, swallowing the cherry pit as you reach for another of the small red fruits, picking the stem from it and flicking it into the lake.

"I wish it was." He replies, watching you closely to see if and when he's crossed a line. You nod in understanding, and he takes a nervous breath in. "I... The alternative was that I got sent home like some of my classmates. I wasn't going to leave until I had to."

'Until I had to.'

So he was forced to go in for Sejanus. Why on earth would they not send peacekeepers? Why another child?

"I... I appreciate that." You stammer out, looking down at your lap, noticing for the first time that your hands were trembling. "That must have been uncomfortable. I apologize."

Coryo furrows his brow at you. "No, I'm sorry. Why would you apologize to me?" He asks. "I'm sorry I couldn't do more for you. That I couldn't get you out."

"You did more than you had to." You say, voice quiet with your honesty.

"No." He shakes his head. "I had to do everything I did. I couldn't let you die."

"You saved my life, and... and-" It happens very suddenly when a tear falls down your cheek; you didn't even notice you were starting to panic.

"No, wait, I'm sorry, hey, don't cry..." Coryo says quickly. He wants to help, to do something, but he feels helpless. Again. He feels sick with the knowledge that he always says the wrong thing.

"I'm sorry... I'm sorry..." You mumble, trying to wipe your eyes but you're finding it hard to speak.

"Don't be, please don't be sorry." He pleads with you, shifting so he's kneeling next to you, placing a hand on your back.

You almost jump away, head flying to look at him. He's just rubbing your back. He's only trying to help.

Instinctively, your eyes search for his. They aren't hard to find, and all you can see as you search them is worry. Nothing malicious. "I... Do you want me to get Lucy Gray? Or your brother?" He offers, grabbing your shaking hands in his free one. "Just take deep breaths."

You nod, scared to look away for even a second. So he has to.

Coryo turns back, swallowing his pride. "Lennox! Lucy Gray!" He shouts, drawing their attention quickly.

He accepted the berating he was about to get from your brother before it even came.

"What did you do?" Lennox asks him, forcing himself between the two of you.

"We were just talking and I think I said something- I don't know, I'm sorry. I didn't mean to..." Coryo answers honestly, standing up and taking a step back.

You're watching him, intently, despite Lucy Gray taking over holding you and talking to you in hushed tones, trying to ease your mind.

"I'm okay." You tell her, nodding. You don't look at her, only watching him. Watching his eyes- but nothing changes. Baby blue. Worry. More worry.

taglist: @soulessjourney , @that-veela-girl ,  @dreamyysouls, @rockstarbfs , @maysileeewrites , @baybieruth , @kitscutie ,  @fratboyharrysgf0201 , @totallynotkaibiased , @stelleduarte , @secretsicanthideanymore , @bejeweledreverie , @drewsandsebastianswife , @niicole-87 , @queenofshinigamis , @innercreationflower , @nallasstuff , @iovemoonyy , @thatmarvelchick19 , @wearemadeofstardust0 , @regulusblackcore , @puredreamagination , @fantasticchaosthing , @becauseseaotters , @secretsicanthideanymore

okay suddenly tumblr isn't letting me tag more people than this so i just made some cuts unfortunately :') i just left the max amount of people i could whose users i recognized and see in my notifs all the time :) if you're not on here and you should be i'm so sorry!

also this taglist is closed now!! if you’d like to get a notification when i update, turn on my post notifications!! i promise i won’t spam y'all :,)

[justporo]

My new bestie, I honestly would love to see you write Father!Astarion 🤤🤤

How would he react to the news? Would he want a little girl or boy? How would he react when they are born, and they look just like him, but pre vamp eyes?

(Vampires can sire babies, with the highest chance after they are fully well fed)

Hello my tadpole bestie and thanks for the request! Astarion as a father really seems to be on people's minds, hm?

I get it, I like it too, but let me put this out there (yeah yeah, I know it's all fictional, but let's be real for a second): I would much rather imagine this when Astarion has done some much needed healing. This man hasn't had autonomy in two centuries and really needs to find himself again and work through trauma - with Tav on his side of course. And children are a huge responsibility - mentally, physically, emotionally, financially - I imagine (I wouldn't know, I'm not a parent...). I'd really wish for him to be ready for something like that.

But the thought is incredibly sweet, so let's go:

Headcanons about Astarion being a father

When Tav tells him she's expecting, he's truly speechless for perhaps the first time in his life; and then he can't sit still: swinging from delusionally happy to overthinking and being worried; but Tav takes his hand and reassures him that they'll be in it together

Has he thought about having kids? Yeah sure, but he'd never thought of it being possible until it happened, although when Cazador forced him and the other spawn to behave like a family he'd sometimes thought about what could've been

He's absolutely overprotective when Tav's pregnant: "Oh no, no, darling, you are not carrying that around, think of the baby!" "Astarion, it's A MUG OF WATER!"

Also he adores her body that is creating such a miracle: "You're glowing, my heart. You are truly a goddess!"

If he was handsy before there are now no moments where his hands aren't on Tav's body and on her belly

When he feels the first movements, he cries, and then Tav cries and then there's just a fountain of happy tears and lots of "I love you"s

He's taking such good care of Tav; especially when she doesn't feel well or when she's exhausted - she'll get all the herbal teas and massages

Birth though is scary - for both of them; but I'm sure he'll have some friends by his side (because think about the adventure troupe waiting with him while he's pacing the room like a panther: Karlach's biting her nails off, Gale's just blabbering to distract himself, Shadowheart is praying for everything to go well, Wyll tries to calm Astarion down (unsuccessfully), Lae'zel is unusually silent with crossed arms hoping everything will be okay, Halsin's keeping the group fed and all because "Nature will make it all right")

Boy or girl? Doesn't matter at all, all that's important is that Tav and the baby are healthy and ready to receive all his love

First time holding his child - he can't even cry because it's such a miracle; "This... this is the best thing I've ever had and created!"

The tears come later when you're alone - just the three of you

He's absolutely a very loving father, caring so much about his kid - and also equally taking on responsibilities and care with Tav

When the kid's eyes become their real colour and it sparks a memory Astarion had long forgotten, he's too stunned to acknowledge what he's seeing: the kid has his eyes - the way they were before he was turned

Later, when the child's already a little bigger he loves to show them stuff, teach them, read to them; also inciting them to go and annoy Mom - which makes Tav want to push him off a cliff but also hug him to death - because who'd have thought it would ever be possible?

Alright alright - I've gotten almost off the rails with this one. Because honestly, there's a lot to imagine there. Also maybe I wasn't prepared for the things that would make me feel (and I don't mean baby fever).

Alright, hope you enjoyed this headcanons, time for me to go to bed!

[crimsonhydrangeavn]

I got a question for Garrett, what would happen if MC decided pamper him

Like complimenting him daily

Telling him to rest and spend time

Reminding him he's enough and that perfection isn't always the answer and that MC fell in love because who he truly is and not the one he shows outside of Saint Anne

Instead of going out to dinner, making home cooked meals and etc.

And also help him get the proper help he really needs. That poor baby needs a hug ;-;

Oh my, this is literally the sweetest ask ever! Just the thought of you taking the time to try and heal Garret warms my heart! So much so I'll can't help but share a few little spoilers about his past. I'll make sure to mark them so you don't accidentally spoil yourself if you don't want to!

Honestly, I think Garret's initial reaction would be to happily accept the compliments, home cooked meals, and quality time chalking it up as what a "healthy" relationship should look like. That being said, he would absolutely spoil you and reciprocate all of those sweet and loving gestures.

When it comes to the positive affirmations and being told that he doesn't need to be perfect... well it'll take some time for him to fully believe your words.

At first he'd think your just being kind and saying what expected of wonderful life partner. However, once it sunk in that you were being genuine and you actually meant it... He'd have a really difficult time accepting it.

SPOILER STARTS BELOW

Garret was raised to be his parent's golden only child. That being said, nothing he did was ever enough for his parents. Straight A's? Why not straight A+'s? You won first place in a race? Why aren't you competing in the nationals? What's that? You won a national competition? Why didn't you beat the previous record? Oh you did? Well you need to focus on other extracurriculars if you want to get into the same Ivy league school your father went to. Nothing he did was ever enough for them, however he was far better than his classmates when it came to nearly everything. Grades, athletics, extracurriculars, looks, body, social acumen, etc. All of the girls in his private school wanted to be with him and all of the guys wanted to be him.

However he never saw any of them to be worthy of his time, not until you came along that is...

END SPOILER

The thought of someone like you, the object of ALL of his affections, believing that he's worthy? That he doesn't have to run several miles a day and practically starve himself to maintain his model-esque figure? That he doesn't have to spoil you in riches beyond your wildest dreams?

It'll be a lot for him to understand and accept. However, once he finally believes your sincerity, the poor guy cling onto you and will break down into heart-wrenching sobs.

Finally, finally someone accepts him. Not for the perfect mask he's been trained to wear from a young age, but actually loves and accepts him for who he is on the inside.

And it's not just anyone. It's you. The one he adores, the one he's been completely and hopelessly devoted to since he first saw you, the only one that truly matters.

He would be a completely wreck, but with your patience and kind words he might actually have a shot at healing himself and actual redemption.

Of course, that'll all depend on your actions in and outside of game. ; )

[fabricated-misslieness]

ᴘᴀɪʀɪɴɢ: lo'ak x male reader

ꜱᴜᴍᴍᴀʀʏ: It seems no one gets to know anything about Lo'ak—no one except you.

ʀᴇ𝐐: no ~ ᴡᴏʀᴅ ᴄᴏᴜɴᴛ: 1563 ~ established relationship

ᴡᴀʀɴɪɴɢꜱ: swearing, injuries and blood - little suggestive

ᴍᴀʏʙ'ꜱ ɴᴏᴛᴇ: i will tell y'all i like neteyam better but i wanted to write this one first

☾⋆☆⋆☽

"Lo'ak, what happened to you?"

Said Na'vi winces, not at his background pain, but at the disappointment in your tone. To think he'd come to you specifically too, because he knew you wouldn't judge him... or at least, not as hard as anyone else. He wasn't entirely wrong. "I..."

He only pauses for a little while, just to think, but you find the silence too long. "You what?"

"I was riding on my ikran, like always."

"Uh-huh?"

Lo'ak closes his eyes, awaiting the barrage of scolding that will surely follow his words, "I was doing circles."

The reckless action, simply named "circles", had become something the two of you were used to talking about. It entailed riding your ikran in, well, circles, but it was a bit more complicated than that. They weren't horizontal, level circles per say; they were fully vertical. For many moments, he'd fly upside down, leaving him to clutch onto his ikran for dear life (the sort of thing that gave him a thrill) as it was the only thing keeping him from falling.

Instead of teaching him another lesson he won't listen to, or slapping him upside the head, you give him one single word, his name. "Lo'ak." The way it is said displays shockwaves of disappointment, but nothing more follows. "Sit down."

Lo'ak behaves obediently, regardless of his lingering anticipation. He still, however, has the guts to ask. "What, is that it?"

"Do you want me to say anything else?"

Your viper-like, sharp response shuts his questions up quickly. "No."

You laugh at it, though, at how easily you can shut him down. The sound interests him, makes his eyes follow you curiously. "I suppose you came here so I could patch you up?"

Shame burns in his cheeks, knowing that he's disobeyed your previous pleads for him to be more careful yet he still seeks your help. "Yeah."

"You know I'm not as good at this as, say, your sister."

"I know, but she can't know." He says adamantly with a gesture of the hands.

"Why's that?"

"Well, I–" His eyes continue to watch each of your moves intently, even as you turn your back to him in order to collect some things that may help. As such, he sees you cease in your actions when you don't hear his response. He moves to fill in the gap of silence afterward, "Dad would know. She'd tell him." And she's much rougher on him than you would ever be.

"And he can't know?"

"Of course not."

You catch his eyes once you make your way back to him. They don't back down, anyway, even when you challenge them with your own. He holds your gaze, watches your face retain its passive look. He can only imagine how his own looks right now. Probably stupid.

He's forced to stop looking at you when you move behind him to work on his back injuries. Even so, he tries dumbly to catch a glimpse of you. It's cute.

He stops, however, when you slap his shoulder lightly. It forces him to straighten up and look ahead stiffly.

The tips of your fingers, which feel ghostly against his skin, apply healing salve onto his back. The solution stings a little, its pain a reminder that this comes after he injures himself, that pain doesn't stop after all the wounds are made. But your gentle touch helps soothe him, in a way, helps him forget.

He doesn't notice, but he leans into your touch. You chuckle at it.

"What?" He turns towards you curiously.

"Nothing, Lo'ak." You slap his shoulder again and he straightens up.

"I mean, it's got to be something." He mumbles with the roll of his eye, not that you could see it.

Lo'ak barely registers the sound of you shuffling forward even closer until you press a kiss under his ear. He tilts his head in your direction, hoping for another. "I wouldn't lie to you."

You wouldn't lie to him. "About that..."

You can already hear the shame in his tone, and concern raises in yours. "About that...?"

Lo'ak turns towards you entirely, showing you his wrist. He unties his necklace from it. Its beads, slick with blood, nearly slide off his fingers.

"Lo'ak..." He bites his lip and averts his gaze. "How are you supposed to hide this from your dad?"

The necklace had been hiding a particularly ugly gash on his wrist. It looked really painful. You're not sure how Lo'ak even managed to cope with it.

You hadn't asked for explanation, but Lo'ak provides one anyway. It helps keep his mind off the pain. "I fell off. My ikran tried to catch me, and well, this is the result. I don't blame it. Just please," He groans, turning to meet your eyes again. "help me hide it."

"Lo'ak, I don't have two-hour healing shit."

Shit. Shit? His eyebrows furrow, and the revelation that comes to him helps distract him from his impending dad-ly doom. "Who taught you shit?"

His confusion spreads to you and you mirror his expression, "What do you mean?"

You don't let it deter you, though, as you stand up to gather more healing supplies, as well as plants stronger than the ones used to heal the chafe wound on his back.

Lo'ak just then realizes that what he said probably does not make any sense, like, whatsoever. "The word "shit"."

"Oh, well," You chuckle, "you did."

"Fu–" He cuts himself off before you can learn that too. "I mean–Dad can't know about this."

"Oh, is that another thing he can't know?" You ask playfully.

"Yes." He replies without a thought. If he had thought about it, he would've realized that you were just joking with him. It only serves for more amusement on your part. "If he knows, he's going to kill me."

You turn back to him, solution in hand. "Worse than knowing you've been doing circles again?"

"Yes." He only thinks about it after he's said it. "I mean, well, maybe! Probably. He doesn't like the idea of giving us more swear words."

"Well, we have Spider to blame for that." You settle down next to him again, grabbing his arm carefully and preparing to apply the new salve.

"Wha–?" He's interrupted by his own groan as you squeeze his cut skin as close as possible. He almost curses again but abates the urge when he sees you mouth an apology, Sorry, should've warned you. He shakes his head and continues on. "How do you know that?"

"I figured your dad was never going to teach you any of those words and Spider spends much more of his time around human language."

You were right, and now that he thought about it, so was your reasoning. "Mom cannot know about that."

"Tewti!" You snicker, "Your parents can't know anything about you."

"Oh, come on," He groans dramatically. "my mom already hates Spider. What do you think? Dad doesn't like the idea of us cursing, and mom detests it! If she finds out, she's gonna gut him!"

So maybe he was exaggerating a little but seriously, something was going to happen for sure and Lo'ak wasn't taking any chances.

The small banter allows him to be distracted, which helps him to ignore the even harsher sting that comes with the application of a stronger salve. He thinks that, perhaps, it was part of your plan. "Besides, it's better if others don't know some things about me."

"Oh really?" You question, leaning forward interestedly. Heat begins to rise up his cheeks.

Lo'ak knows that what he's about to say is so smooth that he would absolutely fall for whoever said it to him. "Well, all except you."

Though he knows it, he's not quite prepared for the outcome. One of your legs stretches in front of him, causing his knee to meet your inner thigh. Your other leg, behind him, keeps you stable on the log, pressing slightly against his side. He was hardly coping with you simply leaning a little closer to him, but now your touch is driving him nuts.

"That's sweet of you."

The proximity leaves him dumbfounded; and like the gravitation between planets and moons Lo'ak does not care for, he leans forward mindlessly to catch your lips.

He had hoped that those words would make you fall in love with him even more. In that, he was successful. What he failed at was keeping himself calm in order to look smooth—but he knew either way that you would always think of him as that totally not cool (in behavior) pretty boy.

When you part, he keeps leaning forward, chasing after your lips, and it is so embarrassing that he makes up an excuse to go immediately. "I think I should head back to the village."

He finds himself watching you intently once again, particularly at the way your lips move. "With the very clear healing salve on your aching injuries?"

"Oh." He gulps, seeing your tongue dart out to wet your lips. "You're right."

[twost3ps]

Hello! Just wanted to say that I really like your Adamangels content! They are just so cool and cute!!!

But I have a question: What would archangels react if they learned about the death of Adam and how their brother and niece beat him?

AAAA THANK YOU SO MUCHHH!! They are my sillies

This is likely not to happen ever because they’d be so panicked to let Adam even step a foot in hell, I think I’ve said this before, but if Adam was allowed to go down with little surveillance from them and adam dies, the fallout would be catastrophic.

In short: They would have some HEAVY mourning and then hell would have a full on cleanse and rebuild as come back

A blood bath the equivalent of the first fall/the first uprising against heaven, if not worse. (I am using stuff from paradise lost where Lucifur leads a rebellion against god. After his fall, he comes back up to heaven to convince his old colleagues to an uprising leading into a harsh and bloody battle of angels and fallen. Of course heaven wins this one but there is a LOT of blood)

So goodbye Charlie’s dream. You had a good run. 🏃

Foreword- at this point Adam's relationship with the archangels has reached marriage point. It's been CENTURIES of marriage. They are all completely head over heels so if they sound coo coo because Adam's death do not be surprised

Clutch your pearls now cuz this is gonna be CRINGE

Again this is main four

Starting off with Micheal. He'd go catatonic for a bit. At the news he stumbles, vomits, and kinda goes into a depression coma. When he wakes up he super unresponsive. After a few visits from Gabriel he gets better but- he's now out for blood. He was made as a weapon for heaven but his purpose had been redefined with he help of Adam and his family. Years of character development are kinda smashed right then and there and he goes back to just being a weapon against evil. Micheal has other titles such as the angel of War, and thats all he wants now. Any love and mercy he's held for Lucifer is wiped, now replaced fully with vengeance. Anything reminiscent of the golden age is now stripped from him because of his brother. His first and only love is now dead, not directly, but partially because of him. So with Gabriel, he's gonna shut down hell for good and make sure pride becomes so inhabitable that nothing like this will ever be able to happen again. He botta serve that heavenly justice LMAO. From then on, he's very robotic. I mean, he was stoic before but he's not gonna listen to anyone anymore about being merciful. Cringe but I want him to be petty, like an eye for an eye thing-he goes after Lilith and sends like, a loc of her hair down as a warning but to also rile up Lucifur. He wants Lucifur aggravated and despaired before he goes down to fight

Gabriel is picking up the pieces and becomes in charge while Micheal is down. He's equally as devastated. He's going through all stages of grief till his emotions settle on anger. As I've said before, he's number one Lucifur hater core. He'd go down there to wipe Hell himself if not for how stupid the idea was and how much of a scene it would make. So instead, he goes like Mike and buries himself in work and planning. He's already planning on revenge by merging exorcists and heaven's army. Heaven's army is separate from the exorcists as it was intended to be used way later for the prophesied Armageddon. But this act, of not only killing Adam, but also going against heaven is already rebellion. It's not full rebellion, because that would involve all seven rings, but its close enough that he has some of his soldiers merge with the Exorcists for a planned battle to smash Lucifur's pride and ego.

Raphael is the most level headed out of the bunch. He's the most mentally stable- and is the glue that's keeping them from blowing over. Don't mean he's taking this well. In the fallout of Adam is taking a lot of strain on him. After the fight, he's healing all the girls and wishing that they were Adam he was healing. He gets really aggravated when he finds out that they don't have Adam's body (I mean all the siblings are but Raph gets emotional, thinking that there may be a smidge of a chance at saving him but by then Adam might have been devoured or something happened to his body once the news comes up.) He gets really fatigued with all the emotions swirling because he's connected to it and just having to absorb and heal all the physical pain from the girls.

Uriel is clocked out. He's burying himself in his studies for knowledge of weapons and materials. Knowledge that angelic steel hurts angels comes to him and he out trying to find counters. He goes full hermit mode and feels like he failed in some way. I do want to think he had heavy involvement in the creation of angelic weapons and he regrets not thinking further as in terms of more protective armor or how the weapons could hurt the angels.

As for the rest, it stays pretty undetermined but for sure they would go with the mega purge.

All do heavily regret that they failed to protect Adam before they he went down and that guilt ways heavy.

This mind sound off the walls but then again, they are Archangels. Michael is equally matched to Lucifur in terms of power, with added other 6 I don't think he has time to divert attention to help Charlie and whatnot :/

Mike's loony rn so I think he'd make Lucifur watch as he destroys everything he's worked for. He won't kill Charlie either, he'd make her watch her dream crumbles infront of her as well. Again, this man is not himself anymore. He is quite literally Doomguy

I mean, hell still has to be a thing, but it becomes more reminiscent of hell in scripture rather than being Las Vagas with a red filter

Do not take this seriously, this is just me reliving out my old middleschool dark emo goth slay girl dark sigma, everything must die stuff HAHAAHH

[yorshie]

Scars

SFW Blurbs with the songs that I listened to

Leo (Oh Children by Nick Cave and The Bad Seeds)

Leo pulled you closer against his plastron, face tipped up and eyes closed as he slowly allowed himself to relax.

Your fingers were soft on his scales, tiny points of connection that he was hyper aware of as you slowly mapped your way across his skin.

The tip of one nail scored along the side of his pectoral scute, and he shivered underneath you, letting out a low hum at the feeling.

"Sorry." You whispered, pressing a kiss to his shoulder in apology.

"S' alright." He said softly, not moving when your palm pressed flat agaisnt his bicep. "It's doesn't hurt, not anymore."

He was aware of how your expression had crumpled upon seeing the almost surgically clean crack up on side of his top left scute, though your expression and scent when his whole shoulder had been covered in bandages had been far worse. In a way, he's morbidly thankful that the blade had been so sharp and well maintained. Now that the wound was fully healed and filled with ceramic epoxy, there were no harsh edges to scrap against you, barely any sign of how deep the wound had been.

It hurt though, to watch you touch him so hesitantly. He loved it when you let your fingers travel over him, had lost count of the hours you'd gently explored his tattoo or the whorls on his shell.

And now...

He reached down, palmed the back of your head, held you close while you stared at the scar on his shoulder.

Now, if he could go back in time, he wouldn't have hesitated to gut his opponent when he had the chance.

Your head tilted upwards towards him, brows drawn up in the middle and lower lip quivering, and he blanked on what to do, had no idea how to make it better.

Slowly, so slowly, the very edge of your finger traced along the healed crack, and he fought not to let his breathe stutter at the feeling, chills erupting along his limbs.

"I love you, Leonardo." You whispered it against his skin, but he heard the words you were really saying.

I almost lost you.

"I'm here." He answered, and knew from the warmth of tears slipping across his collar that he was right.

Mikey (Another Love by Tom O'Dell)

Mikey was sure you thought he was asleep, the way you moved so slowly, your touch whisper soft as you pet over the curves of his arm, tracing the orange flowers and shaded dots, running your finger over and over the carefully ink lines. It felt so nice, and he was content to let you explore for as long as you wanted, until your finger whispered over to rest on the scar tissue right at the edge of his plastron.

You gasped when he moved, when he pulled your hand off the damaged, raised scales and tucked your appendage around the far edge of his chest. His heart twinged at the sound, so he pulled you closer so you wouldn't think he was pushing you away.

"I'm sorry." Your whisper was small, and the regret in those two words had him rubbing a hand soothingly up and down your back, internally cringing once more.

"Don't have to be sorry, baby." He said softly, pressing a kiss into your hair. "It's just a little sensitive when I'm not expecting it."

You were quiet against him for a moment, and he silently hoped that you'd drop it, that you wouldn't ask...

"What happened, Mike?"

He breathed out slowly, hope dashed, and tried to decide what to say. Some time had passed, he technically should be ok to acknowledge the wound, but whenever his thoughts trended towards that night, the hurt bubbled up once more.

He didn't want to spoil his time with you bringing up old ghosts. Didn't want to make you wonder if he had ever accessed you as a potential threat despite the length of your relationship.

"I love you." He said instead, giving you a squeeze and pressing his mouth once more to your hair.

Your arm tightened around him, holding him close, hoping one day he'd be able to tell you. That one day he'd let you help soothe whatever wound he hid.

Raph (Dangerous Man by Little Dume)

Raph could feel you, barely, draped over his carapace, your soft hands rubbing that coconut scented lotion across his scutes and making sure the various cracks across the surface were still filled with ceramic epoxy and smooth to the touch.

"Feels good, sweetheart." He rumbled, relaxing into the sweet treatment, letting a churr come out when you finished and simply splayed across the width of his shell.

"You'll have to let me do the front in a little bit, big guy."

He grunted at the thought of your soft fingers ghosting across his chest. "Not all the ones on the front are filled in yet. Don wants to give 'em another week."

You gave a little sigh at his words, and his heart twinged heavily at how weary the sound was. When you remained silent however, he shifted one arm back, letting his fingers curl around your ankle in silent askance.

"You always have new cracks, Raph." You whispered, voice almost breaking on his name, and something slimy curled up under his plastron, stifling his throat.

He had to swallow twice before he could gruffly say. "Sometimes it just happens, sometimes it's just the only way."

Your foot twitched in his grip, your next words pressed against the central scute on his shell. "No one else has this many cracks, Raph."

He let spark of anger in your sentence boil under his skin, tried to breath it back down before giving a little tug on your foot. He rose up and tipped to the side, sliding you off his carapace to land with a huff on the mattress.

"No one else has this many cracks because I take 'em for them." He said, trying to sound serious, knowing you probably saw through to the ire beneath. "These cracks could be on Mikey, on Don, hell a few even got Mr. Perfect Ninja's name on 'em. So don't-" He broke off, suddenly aware of how your face had done deathly still and red.

You were trying not to cry. He sighed heavily, letting his head hang and brush against the bed, taking a deep breath of the combined scents of you and him to calm himself down.

"I'm sorry I-" The feel of your foot on his plastron cut him off once more, when you used the leverage to push away from him and slid to the edge of the bed. You stood, turned to look at him, eyes red.

"You're more than just a protector, Raphael." When he opened his mouth to retort, you held up the empty bottle of lotion. "I'm gonna go get that disinfectant lotion from Donnie."

And then you were gone, and he slumped fully on his shell to wait for your return.

Donnie (Hey There, Delilah by The Plain White Tees)

Donnie doodled away one-handed on the notepad balanced on his thigh, his other hand softly rubbing back and forth across your lower back where you were tucked in close, snoozing away to the point a gentle snore burred in your nose.

The Lab was relatively quiet, only the sound of soft classic rock playing from his main computer around the bend and the gentle ping of the Atari game still on standby where you'd fallen asleep halfway through the game an hour earlier providing the background noise Donnie needed to sit still.

He didn't pause writing when your snore caught, and you sleepily turned into his hand, a secret smile ticking the corner of his mouth when you grabbed his hand with gentle pressure and moved it so he was palming the soft swell of your stomach.

"Time?" You asked, voice sleep laden and raspy, and he hummed back, letting his thumb press against your flesh in acknowledgement.

"Only an hour later." Donnie assured you, eyes flicking over briefly when your soft hands started trailing up and down his arm, over the bubbly texture that even after all this time he knew you didn't expect.

"S'cold." You said, nails gently scratching over his ruined scales, and Donnie twisted his hand, the stretch a burn in his wrist, to trail the rough texture of his thumb over your own, conscious of the pressure he was exerting against you.

"That hand's always colder." He could go into detail, explain restrictive blood flow and damaged, seared nerves, but the press of your lips against his palm quieted his mind, let him focus instead on the pressure and tingle that shouldn't be there instead.

You sighed, tucking his hand into the neck of your hoodie, and he huffed out a laugh that could have been a snort, returning to his notes, his half ruined hand slowly warning up inside your clothes.

"Are you doing your exercises?" You asked, sounding closer to sleep once more, and he nodded before remembering you couldn't see.

"I have to," He clicked the pen, set aside his notes, and sighed heavily, rolling over to spoon against your back. "If I wanna keep being able to grip my Bo."

He flexed his hand inside your hoodie, and you grumbled, hiking up his arm so the both of you could lay properly, trapping his misbehaving hand in a position that hopefully would keep it from falling asleep.

Donnie smiled against your hair, snout whispering over the soft texture, drifting off to the soft pressure of your thumb on his arm, high enough where he could truly feel the sensation.

[satureja13]

Summer Solstice - Part 2 It starts -> here

After Jack and Sai returned from their walk, they all gathered around the fire and Jack, Jeb and Ji Ho played a few songs. No Siren's Songs this time to influence the feelings of his friends so they are able spend time together - despite their quarrels.

Jeb sang 'Fast Car' (for Saiwa obviously)

'So, I remember when we were driving, driving in your car Speed so fast, I felt like I was drunk City lights lay out before us And your arm felt nice wrapped around my shoulder And I, I, I had a feeling that I belonged I, I, I had a feeling I could be someone, be someone, be someone'

Ji Ho feels they will have a great evening without the Siren's Songs and it's too dangerous anyway until they find out how to protect themselves, should the Council and Ji Ho's grandfather try something. It's better they do without them. They'll have to learn to live all together again anyway. Jack sang 'Ring of Fire' (links leads to the version from Blondie (from one of my favourite movies of all time, Roadie)) He would never admit that he sings it for Kiyoshi so we don't dive any deeper in that ö.ö

'The chase of love is sweet, when hearts like ours meet I felt for you like a child, oh my heart went wild

I fell into a burning ring of fire I went down down down the flames they went higher and it burns burns burns that ring of fire, that ring of fire, that ring of fire'

The cute birds are back again too! That's such a sweet interaction <3

And Ji Ho sang 'Livin' on a Prayer' for Vlad. They're almost there.

'We've gotta hold on to what we've got It doesn't make a difference if we make it or not We've got each other and that's a lot for love We'll give it a shot

Whoa, we're half way there Whoa oh, livin' on a prayer Take my hand, we'll make it I swear Whoa oh, livin' on a prayer Livin' on a prayer'

Aouwww

Ji Ho was right, they managed to have a nice evening together without his spells. They were grilling and telling stories and having a good time. Somehow their therapies seem to work. There'd been no great aha effects, but they already prospered a lot. (I think that's important too, not to expect too much too early from a therapy/healing. It needs time and it goes slowly. Healing and prospering needs time. But when you look back from a distance, you'll notice the little steps you've made and you'll see the difference.) And time also heals. Saiwa is relieved. He'd feared much worse because he'd been so upset about Jeb and Kiyoshi - and his own stupidity that he agreed to have a fake relationship to bring Kiyoshi fully back after he'd spent decades into that tree. Over the last months they'd been apart from each other, Saiwa not only calmed down but also came to the conclusion that it had been not really anyones fault. And each of them would do exactly the same again to help each other. There are no excuses to be made and there's no real reason to be angry or jealous. But he still is. He's jealous that Jeb and Kiyoshi live together now even tough he rejected to move in with Jeb when he asked him. And angry at the universe that they have to go through all these crazy madnesses all the time! And what Saiwa just still doesn't know: Is it possible to have a relationship under these circumstances? Will he ever be able to be the leader of the Boys and a worthy partner for Jeb? How will they deal with it when such things happen again? Even though they live in solitude in the Otherworld now, there is still so much going on. Jack even died during his Therapy Game! One day, they will have to return to the Muggle World and then they'll have the Council at their heels again...

Here, Kumo told Bunny the story how Kiyoshi became a diety and how Kiri, Little Goat and him watched over Kiyoshi all the decades he'd spend in the tree. Bunny listened with big eyes Ö.Ö Little Goat was already sleeping, he'd heard this story a million times before ^^'

They soon all got tired and went to their tents. Ji Ho and Vlad first, since teleporting the TukTuk around is draining them. But not as much as last time when they had to port two times to Tartosa and back plus Noxee and Greg to Tomarang and back home to Moonwood Mill.

It's so cute with all the wildlife around, even the birds stayed after their songs ended 🐦

Early next morning, Jeb dragged Vlad and Kiyoshi out to go for a run. Jeb goes jogging almost every morning and he even kept on doing this all the months while Ji Ho, Saiwa and Jack left to live at the Beach House after Saiwa's breakdown. Despite his heartache. It helped him to stay sane. Just running without thinking and worrying too much.

The little ones were already awake too and chatting with the Bunnies. Henford gossip holds a lot of new ideas and inspiration for their stories and the game! ^^'

True story! (I found out about the following last November when Lavina asked Francine's (Jeb's grandmother's) boyfriend out for a date 'casual friend time' and never posted it lol) Who said life in the countryside is boring?

Such a wonderful morning!

Before they return back to the campsite, they took a short break. Henford is just so beautiful. Jeb to Vlad: "You noticed too that Kiyoshi feels so much better since Jack is back, did you?" Vlad sighed. Yes, he noticed it. Kiyoshi is still far from his old self and doesn't talk much because he's absent and far away in his divine/demonic/whatever spheres his mind roams, but there is a significant improvement. There is a deeper connection between Jack and Kiyoshi, even though Jack declines it - and never felt it. But what are they supposed to do? Jack and Kiyoshi tried to be together but it just didn't work out and Jack almost died (twice) because he worked himself up during their (secret) relationship. They'd all promised to not keep any secrets from each other anymore. So they'll have to talk to Saiwa about this. Which will make him angry again because he's worried about Jack and he still hasn't fully recovered from his own breakdown... Jeb and Vlad sighed from the depths of their souls.

to be continued...

The Therapy Game Master Post with the sessions and places so far is -> here

From the Beginning  ~  Underwater Love ~  Latest Current Chapter: 'Who killed Jack?' from the beginning ▶️ here Last Chapter: 🕹️ 'The One' from the beginning ▶️ here 📚 Previous Chapters: Chapters: 1-6 ~ 7-12 ~ 13-16 ~ 17-22 ~ 23-28

[msmargaretmurry]

I honestly think Matthew came back too quick from his injury and struggled physically and psychologically way more than he'd ever let on through December of this season. I don't know WHAT happened over New Year's, but whatever it was, if he keeps up his 2024 pace, he's gonna beat his regular season points record. We love to see a rat boy thriving in his own time.

i definitely agree that matthew's slow start to the season was due to his injury — he clearly put a lot of pressure on himself to be "100%" for the start of the season and i don't think that was actually possible! he was obviously medically cleared to play, and i really don't think the team would have taken a big risk rushing him back for opening day if it was dangerous. not that hockey teams won't do that in general. but like. extremely stupid and useless to do it for the beginning of the season, and i think matthew + the team both know the value of him being starting the season healthy so he can STAY healthy. so i DO think he was "healthy" from a medical standpoint. but that doesn't change how little training and conditioning and bulking up he got to do over the summer (remember those pictures of him looking downright scrawny in his golf clothes? 😭), or how long it takes the body to truly FULLY heal from an injury that traumatic, and, like you said, there's definitely a psychological element to it — being in that much pain fucks with your head! the slow recovery process is tough, mentally! i think it is SO reasonable and understandable that he had a slow start to the season. i don't know if something specific happened to get him going or if it was one of those things where everything finally just clicked but i'm so happy to see him back to his old self on the ice <3 we DO love to see a rat boy thriving in his own time!!

[crossdressingdeath]

pssst - useful Durge information here youtube

/watch?v=V5LHGZBoilQ&t=289s

Ayyyyyyyyyyy it's my good good hat man! So sad he dies if you reject Bhaal, it makes sense but still. But he's so proud of Durge for being a good little murderer, I love it.

Obsessed with him calling Durge a demiurge, by the way. Sceleritas a demiurge's job is the exact opposite of what Durge is supposed to do. I guess the creator of a dead world has still technically created a world...?

Interesting that Sceleritas was apparently sent to guide Durge when they reached their "age of majority", given we hear his voice in the pre-Orin Heal cutscene. Is that just him connecting to Durge in the present, or does he consider their age of majority being their first killing spree? Also, one thing I find very interesting is that apparently despite fully committing themselves to Bhaal they still need Sceleritas, which with the way he talks about it suggests that even at this juncture, having taken back the mantle of Bhaal's Chosen and agreed to their given task of ending the world, they still aren't totally loyal. There's still reason for Bhaal to think they need to be managed. (Also "I shall be sick, fetch the Bucket of Bhaal" continues to be an absolutely golden line.)

Sceleritas insisting that Durge's memory loss is purely brain damage makes sense, but it does contradict Omeluum saying that you don't remember because someone doesn't want you to if you ask him about it back in act 1. Possibly he was wrong. Possibly Sceleritas is wrong. I have some suspicions, but I'll get to that in another post. Him assuring Durge he still thinks they're very clever is precious, though. It doesn't seem like Orin's digging around damaged anything aside from Durge's memory, but it's still cute that Sceleritas feels the need to assure them. Sceleritas saying the worst thing Durge ever did was giving a beggar some coin without kicking or spitting on him is very sad, although given it happened while they were en route to the Devil's Fee I do have to wonder if Gortash was there. I bet he'd tease them about going soft. I also like that one of the things making Durge better than Orin is the fact that they experienced life outside the Temple; it's unclear when exactly they showed up, but given you can be any number of classes that require certain experiences that you wouldn't be able to get in the Temple (a cleric or paladin Durge can serve gods other than Bhaal and bard Durge must have gone to a bardic college at some point) they were presumably an adult by the time they arrived. Also once again we hear about Durge being sculpted from Bhaal's own gore, which is just all sorts of concerning. And confirmation that the Urge is unique to Durge! Which is fun. Also interesting that Orin's bloodline is so far below Durge's in terms of connection to Bhaal's; she really never stood a chance at gaining Bhaal's favour as long as Durge lived.

I assume if you ask Sceleritas about if you'll be able to spare your lover his answer changes depending on the lover in question. I'll have to keep an eye out for that when I do my evil run, since Kyvir is Gay As Fuck and so has zero lovers he could create more Bhaalspawn with. Although given Bhaal in general seems to give approximately zero shits about his kid or their comfort that has some very uncomfortable implications... And it sounds like the Urge is at least sort of gone if you take on the mantle of Bhaal's Chosen? Which kind of makes sense, if Bhaal assumes he's got your leash wrapped so tight around your neck you won't step out of line again. Also, very interesting that Sceleritas refers to the tadpoling as a rebirth for Durge; he's sort of right, but it's still interesting.

[nicoleanell]

By POPULAR DEMAND (a couple of people said "hey Nicole I care about your Renfield 2023 meta")

Ever since I made this gif set of something that's grown to be one of my favorite moments in the movie, I was a little wary of responses to it? Not just whether the source or my highlighting of it would be interpreted as victim-blamey, but that some might actually use it as a jumping-off point to say something more insensitive and victim-blamey themselves in the comments/tags. (Which thankfully hasn't happened! But the first thing is a take I've seen from a couple of people.)

Now, I feel pretty strongly like "victim-blaming" or being anything but 100% on the side of the abused is the LAST thing Renfield (2023) is trying to do, considering [GESTURES AT THE ENTIRE MOVIE]. But I do think it needs to be unpacked a little bit.

This idea of having partially gotten yourself into a situation and that means you can get out and get better… that's not going to relate to EVERYONE'S experience. (Certainly not, for example, a person whose abuse started in childhood.) It's not a universal truth and I don't think it's meant to be. See that tumblr post going around about how fiction that's harmful (or just lightly off-putting) for some people can be healing for others, and vice versa.

But for this character it IS really important that he's not a perfect innocent victim but not an irredeemably bad person either. And it's also important that any Redemption he's capable of is not through shame and punishment, something he's had quite enough of already, but being alive and happy as the person he wants to be.

They have him acknowledge before the end of the movie - in a way that is framed as correct and honest - that he bears responsibility for where he ended up, on a very literal in-canon level. Although Dracula is manipulative and he's implied to have some degree of hypnotic power to influence/charm people, what did not happen (contrary to some versions of the story) was Renfield having his sanity and/or free will magicked away entirely. He made CHOICES. He continued making them!

But… there's something about the fact that he gets to own that without hating himself. He has to own it without hating himself. A not insignificant thing for him is to be able to say that he made mistakes and bad choices, and he takes responsibility for that, but that doesn't mean he deserves to suffer for those choices forever. He's allowed to move forward and be happy.

It's such a huge and weirdly nuanced take for this movie's version of Renfield to be fully accountable for his actions AND extremely sympathetic AND go basically unpunished.

Relatedly, I love the fact they acknowledge shame as a motivating influence on him, which is so fucking dark and sad and complicated coming from this movie?!?!?! A lot of people took that line to be specifically a queerness/attraction thing, and I think that's there and valid. But I also just took it to be like over time the primary way Drac manipulated him was through his shame over what he'd done & become.

Which is such a heartbreaking thing to throw in there, because everything else on that list (dreams etc) is a positive reinforcement -- the devil on your shoulder appealing to the things you want -- but then it crashes into this understanding that he didn't want to want some of those things, and that was also a button to push. There is something equally powerful to Dracula knowing what shames him and the exact ways he hates himself, maybe to take it away, maybe to just keep pressing it until he agrees he's worthless and deserves to suffer. That is MOST of the dynamic we actually see between them in the timeline of the movie, regardless of what their earlier relationship was like.

So the answer to that is not to say he's totally good and has done nothing shame-worthy, but it's also not to say he should be more ashamed actually, it's just… knowing all this and still believing he deserves to be alive and free.

IRL it's not uncommon for there to be a self-blaming factor within abusive relationships and some guilt and shame that goes along with that. It's not always incorrect to realize like: some of this was in my control, I gave a lot of power to this person willingly. I emotionally relied on them, I let my identity get wrapped up in them, I should've known better or stood up for myself or put up stronger boundaries earlier, and the fact I didn't just reinforced how hopeless I felt. It hits the same way for anybody struggling with addictive or self-destructive behavior. The flip side of all that can be understanding and forgiving that version of yourself and reclaiming that power rather than feeling ashamed and trapped by it.

And again! That's not necessarily the story or mindset that resonates with everyone, and it could be perceived badly if one feels it's speaking for all survivors. But if it resonates, it really does.

Last note: The movie also says very firmly that it is NOT as easy for everyone as simply "loving yourself, standing up for yourself, accepting responsibility etc." Like, I actualy think they made a pretty loud point that when your abuser is violent and vengeful and threatning to hurt you and others, you actually fucking CAN'T get out so easily and the self-help affirmations are kinda bullshit. HE NEEDED ALLIES AND SUPPORT IN A VERY REAL AND TANGIBLE WAY. Without Rebecca and also Tumblr he would've been fucked several times over. :) But the bullshit affirmations were still something that mattered to him emotionally, and something he drew strength from, to even get the belief it could get better into his own head.

[hollowed-theory-hall]

hi!

i reread your meta about Harry's feelings of women and his interactions with him. im also hc him as gay with society oppression and trying to feel and act normal normal (as straight, yk) but i also noticed that he describes his feelings like traumatic kid/teen (as he is). he's projecting both Cho and Jinny and not know they out of candylove period on starts what a man...

i like it bc he has a lots of trauma, his relationship with people is pretty toxic, but im also struggling with it. i can't imagine how he can grow out of it in canon complicate fics when he's not rest at least 3 years in woods with personal healer and how for sakes he can build healthy relationships? 🤔 (not full healthy but yk at least not fully toxic or just as normal as ok for him to feel safe, love and other pleasures)

it's pretty psychological question but i love your opinions 🖤

Hi, thank you! 💛

I'd like to think Harry could have a mostly healthy relationship in his life. Like, sure, him and Sirius are a bit off from how their relationship would've been without the trauma, but they still care about each other and I wouldn't call it toxic in any way. Like, maybe it's just me, but I like to think people who suffered can get better and form healthy relationships and live happy lives. I think Harry deserves it and I'm an optimist at my core.

Like, Harry shows many signs of PTSD throughout the books, especially after the graveyard in book 4. Like, if we go over the symptoms list from the DSM, Harry fits a classic PTSD diagnosis pretty well (might write up a post to diagnose him and show evidence for each symptom). But, we know people with PTSD can improve, their lives aren't over because of their trauma, and saying otherwise, I think, defeats the purpose of Harry's narrative a bit.

And I think 3 years in relative solitude aren't what Harry would need, probably. I think Harry would need to feel a sense of normalcy, of some rutine, and being around people he likes. So, I don't think 3 years in the woods is a good solution for him, actually the opposite.

I also don't think wizards have therapists. Like, with everything we see of their culture, I heavily doubt they have therapists. They might have healers for mind damages caused by obliviation or legilemancy, but I don't think they have actual psychologists. They'd only know how to treat spell damage. And Harry couldn't really go to a muggle therapist with all his issues, so I don't see it happening. (Maybe later in life, he could talk to someone about the Dursleys, but Hermione would have to bring it up because no way would Harry consider it on his own).

But, even without a therapist, I think he could get better and form strong and healthy relationships. I don't think he'd ever heal completely, and I think he'd always be a bit haunted, but time cures a lot. Being around friends and people who make you happy helps a lot. Going out in the sun, for Harry, riding a broom is probably more therapeutic and freeing than almost anything else. There are a lot of things that can mitigate and help even without fully processing everything in therapy.

Don't get me wrong, I think therapy would help Harry a lot, I just don't really see it happening if we take canon as is, but I think that wouldn't stop him from forming good romantic relationships like we see he can with freindships (it's not that different, both are about connection and trust). Just give him some time to process things, a good support network, and the right person, and I think he'd be alright.

[gatorboys22]

What role and character would they main?

{☆} For the Streamer AU I did a while back! And if they ever play Overwatch. These are just my thoughts!!! If you think differently please tell me what you think they'd main!!!

{☆} Also might do Timmy's parents if I have the time later! (Also sorry for not posting much)

Bodie

This man is a TANK. So I feel like he'd love to be a tank main, where he'd take most of the damage for the team. He makes sure that everyone on the team is protected from flankers and in the front.

Don't think you can get his supports bc he turns around so quick gets you and turns away like nothing happened. Lots of supports have added him bc of this!

I feel like he'd main Reinhardt. Bodie likes how Reinhardt is the embodiment of cheverly. Also really connects with his lore, how the captain of his team sacrificed himself so everyone can stay safe. (I think that's what happened need to check up on lore)

Timmy

This lil shit is a damage. Right behind Bodie making enough damage for him to kill the people in front of the group. Bodie is very thankful for this but it does get annoying when Timmy is too far into the other team and dies.

The team is 50/50 with Timmy since he is the one (if Bodie isn't tank) to push forward if tank is too scared too. Timmy is a good dmg sometimes, but there is those off days so like I said 50/50.

I feel like he likes the flank characters for example; Tracer, Sombra, and Reaper. He likes how he can get into the enemy team and quickly get out. Timmy likes how sneaky the characters he plays, got a lot of tbags bc of it.

Marco

I feel like he's a support main, Marco is a bit of a healer. Don't get me wrong support may seem easy but if you fuck with Marco he'll 100% said oh? Your not getting healing bet. And will NOT heal you until you apologize, he is the reason your alive remember that or he'll fuck with your experience.

Marco likes how he can fully support the team by healing. But also while doing damage, there will be points where he will be like you DONT NEED HEALING, when someone pings. Only to turn around and see they DO, he apologizes and heals them quickly.

The characters he likes is where he can defend him held and his other support. But I feel like he's played at least all of the supports at least once. But the ones he really likes playing are; Moria, Lifeweaver, Kiriko, Lucio and Mercy. Marco would like playing supports that can immediately get back into the fight after respawn.