#I don't remember who the character on Roman's side was

[olderthannetfic]

Now I'm wondering how countries like Japan and China teach literacy.

Since kanji / hanzi don't really have that much in the way of phonetic elements, they kinda have to teach them by memorization and I don't think they have many reading comprehension problems over there.

(Although both countries do have supplementary phonetic writing systems in the form of bopomofo and pinyin for China, and the kanas for Japan)

--

FAVORITE SOAPBOX TOPIC UNLOCKED!

RELEASE THE KRAKEN!

It's a little closer to teaching vocabulary than spelling, but the same kinds of principles apply: You teach the building blocks, like the traditional radicals, which aren't so different from teaching Latin and Greek roots in an English class for English speakers.

And, as a matter of fact, lots of those radicals do predict pronunciation, just not in every single case. They can also be clues to meaning, but again, not absolutely consistently. Many characters have a sound-cueing radical on one side and a meaning-cueing radical on the other. It's just that only some are still useful in the modern day, while others are more like the English word 'plumbing' where knowledge of Roman lead pipes explains why this word comes from the one for lead, but the root probably wouldn't help a kid learn the word in the first place.

One similarity to teaching phonics would be teaching students to tell very complicated and similar characters apart: you want to help a student spot all the little building blocks of the character and then spot the ones that are different, not just glance at the whole character and get a general overall vibe. If you do a whole look-based approach, too many characters are too easy to mistake for one another.

Remembering a bajillion Chinese characters is hard if you're trying to memorize them in a year and not all of elementary school, but I think people who don't read them underestimate how many component parts there are and how approachable they can be if you start by learning fundamentals, not just memorizing a few individual characters as though they have no relation to anything else.

They're actually pretty systematic, just in the way that English spelling is with its overlapping systems and historical artifacts, not in the way that highly regular Spanish spelling is.

Having taken a lot of Japanese classes, I will say that Japanese as a foreign language textbooks often do a piss poor job of this and totally do teach kanji in a sight words-y way... But my Mandarin class started with important foundational concepts that served me well in Japanese later even if I bombed out of Chinese class at the time.

Can you tell how irritated I am by all the foreign language learners who think characters are sooooo hard when, really, it's just their crappy textbook? Haha.

They're moderately hard in the way that learning a full adult spectrum of vocabulary is hard, but people do that for foreign languages all the time. The countries that use characters do tend to make sets that are smaller for certain kinds of applications, same as we have things like simple English wikipedia, but a literate adult will always know lots more, whether it's from their career in engineering or their predilection for historical romance novels.

Uh... anyway, the answer is "Bit by bit in elementary school, just like in any other country".

[dead-inside-demiboy]

I still enjoy Sander sides a fuck ton, but I've been out of the fandom for years now. That being said, I've been rewatching it recently and here's a really cool thing I've noticed!

So while they are characters and all of the sides feel fully fleshed out and realistic, they are also aspects personified and it was done SO WELL

Like of course Logan would get very stuck up and controlling with certain stuff, that's how logic operates. Especially with adhd, logic is usually the voice of guilt in the back of your head when you do things wrong. On the other end, logic is also silly, you sometimes remember something random for no reason. And of course Logan gets ignored a lot! How often do you listen to your logic 100%?

Of course Roman is grand and has large ambitions too big for his boots, that's what creativity feels like. Yes, Roman will be self centered, because if you're an artist (like Thomas) creativity is a big source of pride for you, especially if you post online. Roman being insecure makes sense when you think of imposter syndrome and how popular Thomas is. Obviously Roman loves Disney and cartoons, they actively spur on creative juices.

Of course Patton is pushy and controlling with his beliefs, that's what morality does! Growing up religious would only make that more extreme. Of course he's commonly listened to and taken at face value, your ethics/morals are some of the heaviest driving forces when they kick in, and it takes a lot to shift them. Obviously he's the least mature, your morals are instilled when you're young and you never really grow out of them. But he's also a dad because older male figures are stereotypically the ones that teach you morals in the first place!

Of course Virgil is so rude in the beginning but gets an acceptance arc, anxiety is a bitch to live with that fucks with everything else, but you need to learn to work with it, not against it, similar to any other emotion. He used to be part of the dark sides cause when you don't know what to do with feelings like that, you end up pushing them down or hurting yourself. He hates not being taken seriously because when you completely ignore and blow off your alarm bells it puts you in active danger!

Speaking of, Dark sides tangent! First of all, they aren't really the "bad" parts, they're just the parts of Thomas that he bottled up or tried to hide from himself. And the name "dark sides" is so good, cause it's like the dark side of the moon! Just as important as the light side, just different, harder to see if you aren't actively looking, and often ignored or viewed as "worse"

Tangent over. So!

Of course Janus's main role is to hide the other dark sides! He's representation of what happens when somebody hides parts of themselves. He has a villian and snake persona cause of religious reasons and because deceit is viewed as one of those bad things that need to be bottled up! He is at the core of a lot of self preservation and caring of others because for Thomas, that is the only time he's used Deceit so it's all that he can do.

Of course Remus is equally as prideful as Roman, he has the same issues with imposter syndrome! Of course he has a bunch of gore and sex jokes/ideas, he's the creative parts that morals state are "bad". Unlike Roman who's usually on topic, Remus goes constantly off tangent because that is what your wilder/more experimental side of creativity does! It just spits shit out and you figure out what sticks!

Its very similar to Greek mythology and idk! I just love when personification is done super well while making the characters still feel human!

[zahri-melitor]

Have now met Minhkhoa Khan.

I honestly think he's the most interesting addition to the wider Bat lore since probably Damian's introduction, in terms of the fact he's actually filling an unoccupied gap in the setting and lore.

Part of the issue with the proliferation of new characters over the last 10-15 years has been that a lot of them are effectively redundant on arrival: they're not providing new storytelling opportunities. Characters like Harper Row (Bluebird) and Mary Turner (Strix) and Claire Clover (Gotham Girl) and Bao Pham (Clownhunter) and Francine Charles (Operator) and so on aren't really designed to have a long term existence or take-up. You know once a writer leaves a book that character is probably done, and going to fade into the annals of 'hey do you remember'.

They exist because a writer can't use the character they clearly wanted to use instead, or they wanted to run a trope in a story arc (the characters listed above are: 2x 'we actually wanted to use Cass'; 1x 'we wanted to use Oracle'; 2x 'we wanted a troubled kid for Bruce to help deal with their trauma').

And I personally don't have a problem with creating short term characters to tell the story you want to tell, though I do prefer it if writers actually check if there's a pre-existing character that fits what is wanted, especially if that character is well known. (We shouldn't have the 'this is just Cass, but the writers weren't allowed to use Cass' situation).

But what makes Khoa instantly compelling to me is that he fits straight into continuity without causing any issues, because he's a character that makes sense to exist, and could have existed in the background for decades.

He's part of Bruce's past training journey, but unlike Henri Ducard or David Cain or the O-Sensei, he's not one of Bruce's teachers; he's a fellow student and rival.

Unlike Thomas Elliot, he's someone Bruce has an active rivalry with and who can instantly draw Bruce back into acting like a petulant teenager. He's not from the Gotham society Bruce left behind like Tommy is (or Roman Sionis); he's part of the development of Bruce's code of morality in his world travels. And he's someone Bruce actually has a give and take relationship with, rather than being a character developing a terrible case of one-sided rivalry watching Bruce.

It takes genuine effort to look at the Bat canon and go 'hey, there's an unoccupied gap here where I can fit in a character that will add to the story, rather than just repeat it'. And Khoa's also a character that can disappear off panel for 5-10 years then pop back up when another writer wants to use him and that would make complete sense; he's not someone who should be getting called in and isn't, or whose only use after his initial story arc is to fill out the background of crowd scenes.

I'm honestly impressed. And interested to see where this goes.

(Also I want fic about David Cain, Minhkhoa Khan and young Cass very, very badly; or a story where Cass runs into him while she's working in Hong Kong)

[duchessonfire]

Savior Carl!AU re-read Part 2 Chapter 6

Follow-up of my re-read of Part 2 Chapter 5. If you're not interested and don't want to have your dashboard spammed, you can block the tags Duchess reads and Savior Carl AU reread.

Commentary for Part 2, Ch 6 below the cut (spoilers for part 2 ahead):

Work has officially started again and I'm swamped so I'm only getting back into this re-reading now. (Btw, I'm currently listening to "toxic till the end" by Rosé and my god it's so Savior!AU Cegan... Same for "number one girl" from her Rosie album)

So, chapter 6, the beginning of the heatwave. This is so funny because I still remember writing part 2 and being like, okay I have 2 more chapters and the Claimers plot is done, so what can I do to shake things up at Sanctuary? And at the time I was teaching a class on the short story "Roman Fever" by Edith Wharton and I was explaining to my students the whole stereotypes about southern Europe from the povs of characters from England or the north-eastern coast of America, how the warmer climate is associated with looser morals, promiscuity, how people used to cold climates start to act a bit erratically when it's too hot and they let go of some of their inhibitions. And as I was preparing for this class, I was like... wait a minute... *lightbulb moment*

Anyway, this is how the idea of the heatwave came about and it's crazy that it is still ongoing in part 3, but at the same time it feels very fitting. Right when Negan has decided he's going to be a good man and keep things platonic with Carl, I turned the oven on and blasted them with heat :)))) No regret.

This chapter is very much a pivotal moment in the story because a lot hinges on it. In the previous chapter, Negan showed Carl a surprisingly human and compassionate side of his personality, but everything that has been happening since the start of part 2 (the increasingly erotic tension between them, Negan's cruelty) is still there.

In the Savior!AU, it's very important to me that Negan never becomes too nice. I have nothing against fluff or nice!Negan (in fact, I'm currently writing the fluffiest, nicest Negan ever in my Strawberry Mama Cegan fic), but I started writing the Savior!AU back in 2021 because there was a lack of Cegan fics where Negan was still the sadistic, cruel leader from the canon. Back then, there was a plethora of fics where Carl was sexually abused by Shane, or assaulted by the Claimers, and Negan was the only one who understood/rescued Carl, as well as a lot of fics where Negan immediately became protective of Carl and put him above everyone else right after meeting him, basically 'love at first sight' fics. As much as I enjoyed those stories, I was chagrined at how few fics there were where Negan was still Negan, still cruel and sadistic and egotistical, even when he clearly favored Carl over everyone else (a great example of this, and to me still one of the best Cegan fics ever written, is Wildflowers by Gemjam).

So, to me, this what the Savior!AU is and should always be: a story where Carl and Negan fall in love, yes, but where Negan is still Negan, still monstrous and power-hungry just as much as he's loving and protective, and this is in fact is the main obstacle of their relationship: that Negan's cruelty and thirst for power will always get in the way for as long as he's the leader of the Saviors.

This is why it's so important to me to keep all those moments when Negan is canonically cruel and ruthless. And this chapter has a big one with Mark getting his face ironed off.

Carl is so absorbed by him, by his sheer presence, that it takes him a second to notice that Negan is inspecting him right back, unmoving from his spot by the stairway. His gaze trails along where Carl is slumped against the wall, from the top of his head to the tip of his toes, slowly, down and then up again, and there is nothing concealed about it, his appraisal plainly obvious. His lips are slightly parted, letting Carl glimpse at his pink tongue, the tip caught between his teeth. He can’t feel hotter than he already does, but the rolling knots in his stomach are both new and familiar. He’s reminded of that time in the parking lot, of Negan’s susurrating voice making him feel like he was on a rollercoaster. When their eyes meet, Negan’s hand tightens briefly around Lucille’s handle, before going lax again. He moves forward and Carl knows he should straighten up, knows he should kneel, but he does neither. Instead, he stays right where he is, never taking his eyes off of Negan as he gets inexorably closer, his footsteps an ominous toll that sends Carl’s heart careening inside his chest. Negan stops right in front of him, the tips of his boots grazing Carl’s own. His gelled hair is curling at the temples and his skin is shiny under his salt and pepper beard, a sheen of perspiration covering the bow of his upper lip and the slight curve at the top of his chin. Negan makes a low sound, between a laugh and a sigh, and Carl’s eye follows the movement of his lips with rapt fascination when he speaks. “Pheew,” he breathes out, sending an exhale of peppermint-sweet air in Carl’s face. “Even in here, it’s hotter than the devil’s asscrack.” Then, unexpectedly, he asks, “Wanna hold her for me?”

There is SO MUCH happening here. Carl and Negan looking at each other and lusting after each other openly (the first time in the fic that it's mutual and not just one-sided), Negan's flex of the hand that shows he's barely restraining himself from grabbing Carl, Carl knowing he should kneel but staying standing because he's becoming aware of the fact that the rules don't apply when it's just him and Negan away from everyone else, Negan asking Carl to hold Lucille (the symbol of his battered heart and erect cock intertwined and wrapped in barbed wire) while he goes to have sex with someone else, so basically asking Carl to hold his heart while he fucks one of the wives...

Negan smirks, teeth flashing, and Carl should know better than to think he can hide the effect Negan has on him. “Thanks. Things might get a lil’ loud in there. Just a heads-up,” he winks. Carl swallows, hard. He is pretty sure the sweat rolling down his face must be sizzling, puffs of steam coming out from his every pore. As if on cue, he feels a plump drop of perspiration trail from his temple, along his chin and down his Adam's apple, before pooling in the hollow of his collarbone. Negan’s gaze, previously light and playful, turns dark and riveted as he gives Carl’s face a long once-over, slowly going down from his sweaty brow to his flushed cheeks and lips before settling on his neck, just above the soaked collar of his t-shirt. His gray eyes stay there for long seconds, transfixed, before Negan suddenly blinks, gaze flicking to the ceiling as he mutters under a raspy breath, “Je-sus.” Carl doesn’t have time to fully grasp what just happened that Negan is already moving, disappearing inside the wives’ apartment with a sharp exhale and a shake of his head. His warm and spicy scent lingers in the air around Carl, thick and heady.

This is one of my favorite moments in this chapter because it's really difficult to write a longing/erotic scene where in fact nothing is happening, especially when I have to tread the line of Carl's pov, of him still being mostly innocent and unaware of what Negan wants to do to him, while at the same time knowing it (as shown in the dirty dream that Carl has right after this moment).

I'm not going to quote the dirty dream, but I did want to have Carl explore his sexual attraction to Negan on his own before any smut happened between them. It felt important to me that Carl had at least some time to accept that he's sexually attracted to Negan, that this anticipation builds, before anything happened. A boy doesn't go from being sexually repressed for four years to jumping into bed with a man 3x his age out of nowhere. (Btw, Carl masturbating while thinking of Negan was inspired by this awesome fic Secret Handshake by Gonfalonier) (I'm realizing now that these re-read posts could also be a great place to rec some Cegan fics. If you like them, do show them some love!)

Now, the beer scene. Not gonna lie, I still have no idea where the inspiration for this one came from but I am SO PROUD of it. It's just the most devious interrogation technique. Negan knows very well what he's doing, that Carl probably never had a drink in his entire life, that he will be affected by the alcohol, less able to think and lie, all of this without touching a single hair on Carl's head.

And of course at the end of the scene is this awesome moment that will haunt Carl again and again:

He keeps his tone casual, but Carl doesn’t miss the dangerous edge in his voice when he asks, “And since when do you take orders from pretty boy Mark?” He opens his mouth but before he can answer, Negan snaps, “Drink.” The bottle is more than half-empty, its taste milder than before, hints of sweetness coating his tongue underneath all the earthy tanginess. It takes Carl a second to remember the question he was asked. “I don’t. I just… I didn’t want anyone to get hurt.” The crow’s feet around Negan’s eyes mellow for a brief instant, his expression turning understanding. But it only lasts just that, an instant, before anger takes over once more. He leans forward, towering with all of his height over Carl. His lips brush against Carl’s ear, but there is nothing seductive about it. It’s a warning, plain and simple. “Don’t be soft, it doesn’t fuckin’ suit you,” Negan growls.

It's not just the lie that bothers Negan, but the fact that Carl lied to protect *Mark*, young and fit Mark, who's already charming the pants off Amber and now Carl too. This is the first time that Negan is jealous of another man that Carl interacted with since Shane. After Carl killed Shane, Negan thought all the competition had been eliminated, that he was finally the only man in Carl's orbit, but now he realizes that it's not necessarily true.

The line "don't be soft" especially will come back in part 3 because Carl will never be able to forget it. Negan sees that Carl's lie was not done out of love for Mark but compassion, that Carl has a good heart, and of course it's something that Negan appreciates and admires, but at the same time, it's also something that deeply frightens Negan. Negan associates softness with weakness and, as his talk with Gabriel in the "Big Scary U" episode highlights, he is intent on eradicating weakness: the weakness that made him afraid of killing walkers in the "Here's Negan" flashback episode, the weakness that made him forget to turn the generator back on because he was afraid it would attract walkers and which led to Lucille's medication be ruined, the weakness that let him be captured by the Valaks Vipers biker gang, the weakness that made Lucille kill herself rather than fight cancer... Like Shane, Negan is desperate to turn Carl into a hardened and ruthless killer because they both think it's the only way Carl can survive: by being as merciless and cold as they are, because Negan and Shane have seen too many good and soft people die horrible deaths and they'll be damned if they let this happen to Carl. Negan, like Shane, knows that the real danger is not the walkers or other people, but it's yourself, your own kindness and morals and empathy. Those are the things that get you killed. It's tragic that so much of Shane and Negan's abuse toward Carl is driven by fierce protectiveness and absolute terror at the thought of anything happening to Carl.

This post is far too long already so I'll wrap it up with two scenes: the conversation between Carl and Dwight after Negan left the room, and Negan ironing Mark's face off.

I can't remember if I've said this before but the relationship between Carl and Dwight was really unexpected. I never planned on them bonding but, as I wrote the story and re-watched the episodes about Dwight from canon, it just seemed natural considering all the similarities between them: the disfigured face, the fact that they started as Negan's enemies, that their blind loyalty and devotion to Negan is underpinned by seditious rebellion (Dwight because he let Sherry get away and Carl because he freed Rosita). Dwight often acts as a sort of moral bell tolling for Carl. He's the one reminding Carl of the harsh reality of Sanctuary, of who Negan is. And for all that Carl likes to forget, he has to acknowledge that Dwight is right about everything. There will never be peace at Sanctuary, not in the long term, because Negan's Sanctuary is the product of his grief and anger and desire for revenge after the death of Lucille. The very inception of the place stemmed from the worst parts of Negan, and no matter how much Negan rationalizes it, no matter how many rules he creates to justify Sanctuary's relevance, it will never be freed of the ghosts that haunt it, of the blood and bones it was built on.

I know I talk a lot about the significance of Lucille the bat (Negan's heart and dick wrapped in barbed wire, the most vulnerable symbol of his past turned into his most brutal weapon) but I think Sanctuary holds the same place as an embodiment of the best and worst parts of Negan: the name itself promises refuge, peace, shelter and security, but Negan has fostered an atmosphere of ruthless violence and competition inside it, has kept the workers subdued and turned the Saviors into a feral pack of dogs lashing out against everything and everyone. Like Lucille, Negan's Sanctuary is fenced and weaponized, its boundaries covered in walkers to keep everyone at bay. There's little humanity in Sanctuary, like there's little humanity left in Negan. It's there, but it's faint and it's kept fenced in, tucked away inside an impenetrable fortress. It never ceases to amaze me that with all the resources at his disposal, Negan could have made Sanctuary a place worthy of the name. It's clear he knows how to make a place attractive (his room is glorious in a bachelor pad kind of way, and so are the harem and the room meant for Daryl). But he doesn't. Instead he keeps the factory gloomy and frightening. Because the Sanctuary, like Lucille, was created out of grief and fury. Negan doesn't want to make it hospitable. He wants it to be a punishment on himself and everyone around him.

I'll finish with this glorious line, which encompasses Negan's jealousy, his pettiness, and his reflex to lash out at the people he cares about because he's still, deep down, a wounded animal snapping at everyone who tries to help him:

“Since you like cleaning up after Mark so much, get a mop. Your boy made a mess,” Negan sneers before brushing past him.

Conclusion; tldr: This fic is an oven and I'm turning the temp all the way up. Carl and Negan are terribly horny for each other, but it's all part of the cooking process. Negan is marinating Carl in beer. Carl is having a dreadful time remembering that the man he jerks off to is still a monster. Negan is the most tragic character ever and the Sanctuary is basically the haunted manor in a Gothic Victorian story. Only one chapter left for part 2.

[gh0stbeeee]

Rise of the Guardians/The Guardians of Childhood is low-key my Roman Empire.

Like, specifically in the movie verse, there's just... so much that was never elaborated on. It's one of the unfortunate side effects of being kid's media, things get dumbed down for no reason.

Like, Jack Frost in general as a character. He died. DIED. He DROWNED in a pond saving his sister and??? Nothing. The entire moment when he remembered became "Oh I'm the fun guy that had a family and saved my sister!" AND DIED. Very important part that is completely glossed over other than the idea of sacrifice. Like, the other guardians were "chosen," did they not die too? Did Jack lose his memories because he died, but the others were chosen while alive, chose to leave their lives and remembered?

And just, what were his early years? For a very long time, at least a decade, he probably thought he was totally invisible, that he could never have a true conversation with another person, because I doubt that he stumbled upon another spirit/legend for a while.

Like, that would have driven him INSANE. There's no way he wouldn't be super socially awkward from the isolation, much less just totally mentally well. Are spirit's brains built different? They'd have to be, but I don't think they should be able to withstand that level. Like what was the mim thinking??? Seriously just abandoned a TEENAGER he resurrected with no memory or possibility of support, that's wrong.

And on that note, let me reiterate that Jack died. In front of his little sister. Who had to go back home and tell her family what happened. Did he have a father too? More siblings? Friends and family? They had a funeral no doubt, mourned him. Because he died.

The worst part? He was right there. The whole time. Jack came back to that pond and settlement for hundreds of years, even when it became Burgress. He probably watched his funeral not knowing what was going on, saw his family mourn him without knowing it was for him. He was there when they died, not knowing who they were to him. Did he realize later on? I can only imagine the devastation.

The worst part is Manny probably had to take his memories, because Jack would have been DEPRESSED. He would've tried everything to make them believe, and they probably never would. His parents would probably never see him again, they were adults. His sister was plausible, but she's still mortal. She would have died, Jack would have seen his little sister grow old and die while he stayed eternally young. He might've not ever recovered from that, mim taking his memories distanced him from the pain for when he remembered 300 years later.

But he also could have moved on, grown and loved her descendants and honored her. The mim took that choice away, and that's pretty fucked up.

Then yeah, 300 years of pretty much no acknowledgement. Going into live blind with no guidance or memories, trying to figure yourself out but being ignored by the once who brought you here. Jack would realistically be a little nutty, because wow. It's shown the even other spirits didn't really talk to him, he made them acknowledge him by playing pranks and pissing them off till they confronted him. Maybe it's in spirit's nature to be recluses, but it's not in Jack's. He wanted attention and to be seen, but no one wanted to or could give it to him.

That's why Jamie seeing him for the first time always makes me tear up. This is the first time for HUNDREDS of years that a human has acknowledged him, not an out of touch spirit, but a regular person Jack can connect with, that chose to see him, to believe. That's beautiful, and special.

There's just so many layers to this story that we never got to see, and I'm forever sad DreamWorks abandoned the franchise.

(If anyone has any good fics that explore topics like this, especially Jack's family, please share)

[sublimacje]

Things that made me happy (or sad) from The Chosen s4

Calling Simon Peter! – man, chills, literally chills.

And the Matthew and Jesus talk. I liked how Matthew was open with his emotions and then learned something from it.

Jesus' words: I make people what they aren't. Yes, Jesus, please make me what I'm not. Only You are able to.

This being said – Matthew apologizing to Peter and then Simon Peter forgiving Matthew. A m a z i n g. The hug? Te relief on Matthew's face? The Peter's growth? I can see him being a leader.

Jesus always noticing the rejected ones – the blind man. Sure, he had friends (they were talking with Jesus) but the way he was sitting on stairs to the Temple and nobody gave him a second glance, but Jesus did.

I've never been to a wedding banquet, but I'm on my way to one. and then You wouldn't get it. These are your last words?

Some comic relief scenes: poor Matthew not understanding some things (and I get it, believe me, I do) as Andrew telling him he should write request on paper to speak with Peter or lifting his hand when pharisee asked who's writing Jesus' words down. Or Nathaniel? This man is hilarious. Not wanting to be chaperon for Thomas and Remah but telling John he won't be reliabe one to do it himself. Or questioning other followers' skills with pomegranates. Idk, I was laughing so hard.

Gaius. Oh my. I don't even know where to start. I loved his story. I loved how big his faith was. I loved how he cared about Matthew from the very begining. And he wanted to go to Jerusalem for Passover! I wonder how he'll react to news about Jesus dying... I know we don't have some things in The Bible, but do you think Jesus is going to reveal Himself to Gaius after resurrection? I hope He will.

Also I liked how the side characters of the story (like Yussif and Jair) were willing to protect Jesus even when they knew that He was Almighty God. They were sweet. They really loved Jesus.

Jesus with Romans!!! Oh my- This was His teaching in a nutshell. And Romans faces when Jesus told them they go further with them and how they started to take their things back form the disciples.

Matthew being ever the gentleman and taking heavy bacpack, so Mary won't have to carry it. I loved it. Also, can we talk about their meeting after years? And Matthew brave: still unusually pleasant to look at. That was very cute.

Showing Jesus as a human (His words to Mother Mary: also a human) and His frustration, anxiety and fear. I think it's very important to remember that He was a God as He was a human. And this is such a mystery to me? That God decided that He wanted to be one of us. Oh how much He has to love us!!!

PAUL MENTIONED.

Judas, ah, Judas... I think he really loved Jesus, but he didn't truly understand His teaching... I'm really sorry for Judas...

Grieving Thomas. As I already wrote once: I liked that writers decided to show us that following Jesus doesn't mean we always get what we're asking for. And this is sad and hard, but this is how it is. I don't always understand God's timing, too. But I think that following Jesus never ment to be easy peasy lemon squeezy. As in this meme, you know: it's difficult difficult lemon difficult.

I laughed when Yussif said that pharisee were furious because of Lazarus coming from the death and Lazarus' respond: Oh, I'm sorry. I'll try not to die next time.

Matthew confused: Do you REALLY want us to steal a burro for you?

Quintus. Do you think he's gonna be centurion with a spear? I mean, on the The Chosen s4 poster we see spears behind Quintus...

[boneyspades]

i remember telling my best friend about the plot of sanders sides and how C!Thomas has different versions of himself that make up his personality but only he can see them and my best friend's just like "oh so he's got schizophrenia" lmao but I was like "nah they just imaginary"

but honestly now I'm just thinking what IF he did have schizophrenia? what if in the series finale Thomas just does a complete fucking plot twist on us where like- hold on I'm doing this in a fic format I just gotta- (I'm not good at writing so it might be a lil shit )

_

TW: MENTIONS OF OD (OVERDOSING)/MEDICATION (idk if that needs a TW but just to be sure)

Thomas let out a small sigh as he stared up at the stars, holding his new lover, Niko's, hand. everything just made a little more sense now. there was peace, for the first time in what seemed to be a decade. a decade of never ending dilemmas, a decade of fighting with himself constantly over things that may just seemed like small issues to everyone else, a decade of finding new things about himself, the good and the bad, at least that's what it felt like. Thomas and the sides, who watched from a distance, watched Niko as he let go of Thomas's hand and stood up to stretch before his eyes landed on his lover.

"It's getting a bit late.. we should head to bed" Niko spoke softly, a warm tone escaping his mouth.

Thomas sat up, letting out a stretch himself before nodding in agreement. they both grabbed at each others hands once again before heading back inside into Thomas's apartment, Thomas shutting the door behind them.

"You go up ahead, I just need to go to the bathroom for a sec.." Thomas rubbed his thumb against Niko's fingers softly as he spoke. Niko laughed in response, "Ok, don't take too long, like usual."

Thomas could only laugh with Niko softly as he watched him head upstairs. he lingered the feeling for a moment, staring at the stairs where he saw Niko leave to. it felt nice feeling loved like this after so long. he snapped out of his semi trance before heading to the bathroom, a small smile etched on his face.

he didn't even get to touch the door before he heard a different, but familiar voice.

"Thomas?..."

Thomas turned around to see Patton, Roman, Logan, Virgil and even Janus and Remus all standing there looking at Thomas, Patton standing in front of everyone else with Logan having his hand on his shoulder in a comforting way. as Thomas looked at the others, his smile began to slowly fade as he noticed the expressions on each of their faces.. they were washed over with melancholy but with a hint of determination in their eyes. it was out of character for alot of them, especially Remus. Why wasn't he spewing out horrifying ideas as Thomas? why wasn't Roman celebrating the new love they had received?

Before Thomas could even ask any of the questions he was thinking about, Patton gently grabbed a hold of Thomas's hand, turning it palm side up before placing something in his hand and pushing Thomas's fingers to close his hand around the object. Thomas looked down and opened up his hand to see the a small prescription container filled with medication that he'd refused to take for so long. his stomach weighed heavy.

"It's time to let us go."

Patton's soft voice ringed heavy around everyone. Thomas's head snapped up to look at Patton. he could feel his heart pound heavier and heavier as the realisation sank in of what Patton meant.

"n-no.. n-no I can't! I can't do that I-"

"Thomas, we've done all we could've done. there's nothing for us here anymore."

Logan added to Patton's words, "He's correct, Thomas. We all have completed our functions and it is safe to say that you don't require us anymore. it's finally that time."

Thomas's eyes darted to Logan. he couldn't believe it. the fact that Logan was agreeing to something as crazy as this. no one was even arguing about it. were they really right about this? Thomas tried to choke back on his tears.

"Will I ever see you all again?"

"Sure ya will, kiddo! when the times right.."

Roman took a few steps closer to Thomas, placing a hand on Thomas's shoulder in a means of comfort.

"Don't worry about us, Thomas. As I've always said, The adventure never ends, and besides, it's not easy to get rid of THE prince Roman... and the others I guess"

Thomas couldn't help but laugh softly and appreciate Roman trying to lighten up the mood. He could tell Roman didn't want to disappear. he wasn't sure if he'd ever come back, he just told that to not only Thomas but also himself to make himself feel better. Thomas looked over at Janus and Virgil who'd only gave a small singular nod, telling Thomas to take the medication. Thomas's eyes landed onto Patton again, soon bringing him in for a long embrace. Patton returned the hug as Roman and Remus joined in. Logan, virgil and Janus only placed a hand on Thomas's back for comfort since they weren't really one for physical contact.

once they all let go of eachother, all the sides could see the singular tear rolling down Thomas's cheek before he'd turned his back towards them to grab a pill from the container. "Don't overdose~" chimed in Remus, his voice breaking. Thomas could only scoff and whisper a "shut up" before he placed a pill in his mouth, grabbing a near by glass of water that had been sitting there from before and taking a big sip. he swallowed. Thomas could feel the unpleasant sensation of the pill sliding down his throat, like his body refused it, like it knew it would take the sides away from him. he looked down in the glass for a moment before realising he forgot to say something.

"Guys i-"

once he turned around. there was no one there. No Patton, no Logan, no Roman, no Virgil, no Janus, No Remus. no one. he was alone. the tears only got more intense as the realisation settled in. they were gone for good. Thomas hiccuped as his crying got more intense.

"Thank you."

_

and then it'd cut to black. end of the series. pardon my shitty writing but like if it were to end like this I'd just end up dying honestly

[ijustwannadraw0716]

Twins separated at birth, with Roman and Remus.

Remus was raised by his dad, Ethan Reyes. A man who is rough around the edges, likes a cold beer at 11 A.M., and works as a mechanic. He tried his best with the kid, and he taught him that the world would give him nothing, and he had to work for everything he got. Never let yourself be the prey, always the predator. (And remember that Dad is the Apex predator, so don't piss him off).

Roman was raised by Catalina Mendoza, She's a fashion designer and much more successful than their father, who owns a local car shop. It makes decent money, but they live in some apartment in a dodgey neighborhood while Roman lives in a two story house on the Upper East side with a swimming pool. He was raised with the softness of his mom, giving him everything but always away for work. She's very loving and spoils him rotten to make up for her absence.

So, as Roman relocates once again so his mom can work in Florida, he attends a public school for a few courses, as the charter schools in the area have waiting lists far too long to bother. Roman didn't mind. It wasn't a bad school by any means, though. His first day is odd. When he arrived, it seemed like people were staring at him...confused.

He didn't understand and concluded that it's because he's the new kid so far into the year. He was used to it, he supposes. Either way, he went about his way, questions peeking up his throat as he walked into the office, and the front desk attendant looked him up and down, that same puzzled look on her face.

"Remus?"

Roman frowns, pinching his eyebrows together. "Uhm...no ma'am, I'm Roman, Roman Mendoza. I transferred-"

"Ah, yes," She interrupts, still eyeing him oddly. "Your papers arrived early this morning. Here's your schedule, I apologize, you have a...striking resemblance to another student."

Roman blinks a little. "Oh, well, that's alright," He says, taking his schedule as it's handed. "Have a wonderful day ma'am."

And as Roman walks through the halls, he hears whispers, the name Remus continuing to spread. He ignores it, heading towards his locker and opening it with ease, emptying a few items of his inside when it's suddenly slammed shut. Roman jumps, staring into a pair of mismatched eyes, a large scar trailing down the left one. He's awfully intimidating, a black turtle neck pulled all the way up over his adams apple with a yellow trenchcoal over it, draping all the way down to the floor. Roman frowns as his lips curl into a smirk.

"Boo." He sings before leaning against his locker, blocking his way. "Why do you look like you just crawled out of some preppy golden gated community? I know people say you're scary but this is a new low."

Roman flushes, his frown deepening as he glances between him and his locker. "I don't know who you are. Could you please get off my locker?" He huffs, rolling his shoulders back, wanting to appear taller and more intimidating against the stranger. While he's quite short in stature, something about him rubbed him the wrong way. The others' eyes flash with confusion, his eyebrows drawing in, and he stands up a bit straighter and looks him over.

"Huh." He murmurs. "You're not Remus."

Roman was beginning to get really sick of being compared to this Remus character. "I could have told you that." He huffs out, moving to open his locker again, snatching his bag out before closing it again. "My name is Roman. Roman Mendoza."

The other teen hums and looks him over once more before turning on his heel without another word. What an odd place.

It continues on all day, people avoid him like the plague. Even teachers seemed to sag in relief once he's proven not to be this "Remus" person. At lunch, to no surprise, no one wants to be near him, and he ends up at a table alone. It was a strange, lonely experience. He can't remember the last time he ate lunch alone. He's used to being popular, always having people around him. And yet, everyone's so caught up in thinking he's this some other guy!

He sulked at his spot, stabbing at his lunch forcefully when someone sat across from him.

"You're not gonna kill it anymore than it is Rem, it's already dead."

The new voice snickers, and Roman groans, tossing his fork down. "For the last time my name is not-" He pauses mid sentence, his heart quickly pulsating far too quickly at how cute the person is sitting across from him is.

He's kinda scrawny, long damaged black hair and deep purple tips that fall over his shoulders a little in a messy, mullet like cut. His eyeshadow is dreadfully dark and far too emo but God, his sharp jaw and dark, cold blue eyes make up for it. Roman felt every ounce of frustration die on his tongue and he choked a little while kid eyed him weirdly, his shoulders having tensed up as he began raising his voice. He looked him over once, twice, and then a third.

"You're not Remus."

Roman scrunched his face up, the frustration quickly bubbling to again. "I'm aware." He complains.

The others cheeks start to tinge Pink and he quickly moves to stand up. "Ugh- uh- fuck sorry," He stumbles out, grabbing his tray but Roman's has had quite enough and stands as well, grabbing his wrist.

"Wait! Ugh please introduce me to this Remus character! I've been compared to him all day and it's driving me insane!"

"Aw, well I am so very popular!" Comes a nasally voice from behind. A rough hand is placed on his shoulder, squeezing hard enough to make Roman hiss. "Now why don't ya let go of my friend there huh?"

Roman immediately let's go of the other, and he tucks his arm away in his hoodie pockets, rolling his shoulders forward to hunch into himself, his eyes darting from Roman to behind him. Roman yips as he's grabbed and turned and oh.

It's like...staring into a fun house mirror.

His doppelganger has the exact same facial structure, same eye color, hair color (though his has some Grey streak in it). Though, his eyes are accompanied by some purple eyeshadow and black eyeliner, a crazed look in his eye and he's slightly paler. Not to mention, he's clearly growing out a mustache and a bit of stubble.

He seemed to realize the same thing as Roman did because his eyebrows furrowed a bit and he let go of him.

He looked him over and raised an eyebrow. "Who the hell are ya?"

Roman swallowed a little and glanced around. The cafeteria grew much more quiet now aside from some chatter and hushed whispers. He caught a few stares and they quickly looked away. He stood tall anyway. "Roman. Roman Mendoza. And you are?" He demands, crossing his arms.

Remus snorts a bit and mirrors the action. "Remus. Remus "none of your fucking business". Now listen here Romane-"

"Roman."

"Whatever," He waves his hand. "Ya ever put a hand on this bitch over there," He points a finger over to the adorable emo who rolled his eyes at Remus' protectiveness, shying away from the attention. "I'll fuckin' kill ya. Got it?"

Roman scowls. "Who do you think-"

"Oh well hello kiddos!" Chirps a new voice, chipper and sweet, a taller fellow right on his tail with a dark blue sweater vest and rectangular glasses on the tip of his nose. He's holding a few different things in his arms, a book, a notebook, a folder, etc. He stands tall behind the chipper one, who's wearing a masculine cheerleader outfit, his curly hair bouncy and his eyes bright behind his circular frames.

"We doing okay over here?" The sweetie chirps, looking between Roman and Remus. Roman opens his mouth to voice that no they were not doing okay, but Remus swoops in before he could.

"Course' we are toots." Remus grins, his teeth a bit yellow and he dips down a little to Pattons Height. "Just a fun discovery ya know? Never knew I had one of those doppelgangers. Can't say we're anything alike though, this ones too prissy."

Roman grits his teeth a little. "Why you-"

"Well," Patron interrupts once again, taking a step away from Remus and one towards Roman. "I'm going to be showing our new student around! Explain a few clubs and whatnot if you're done here?"

Remus smirks, smug as he looks Roman up and down before lazily strolling over to Virgil. "Yeah, we're done here."

[mars-barsz]

In this essay I will talk about how Rick could have made Jason a more interesting character to more people

Im not joking, Drews is next and why she really wasnt that bad of a person, just a traumatized teen

CW FOR MAJOR SPOILERS IF YOU HAVENT FINISHED ALL THE BOOKS!!!!

Starting off I fully believe most people didn't like Jason because he was a random new guy, like we were expecting Percy and got some amnesiac and didn't get to see out hero happy and living his life for the entire book, and he was so confused most the time, because he fully didn't remember anything, he wasn't even given the same fake memories to try and act normal, he didn't know his own name when he woke up on that bus, we had to personality to go off of at the start, because HE DIDNT KNOW WHO HE WAS! People always say Leo was the best out of the lost trio and that's because so many people could relate to him, he used humor to cover stuff up, like everyone's favorite mc did (Percy). Piper had her own struggles, like finding out who she thought was her boyfriend, didn't know who she was, she was being manipulated and her dad was being held hostage as she was told to kill her friends, and she AND Leo were in a WILDERNESS SCHOOL. A. WILDERNESS. SCHOOL. I got off topic, sorry, but piper had so many of her own stuff she was working through in the way she thought was correct, by lying and hiding things. Jason had nothing, he knew he didn't remember anything and he was sad. Leo had a personality and was content separate to them, obviously he had issues but he was the most similar to Percy, so fans liked him the most (imo)

Now, onto how rick could have made Jason better

made him actually an awesome fighter, he killed monsters with his bare hands and was raised by wolves since two, he should have been equal to or even better than Percy with muscle memory and all, which yeah he had but he still should have had a more feral side to him, he was said to climb the ranks at camp Jupiter and was a bit more wild than other romans, I think it would have been interesting to see Jason use his instincts more and be a little feral when he lost his memory, not having his camp Jupiter training but muscle memory and instincts to guide him and keep him going

He should have been more separated from Percy, he was not a comparison to Percy and I don't like that was how he was written, I don't have much to say about this but I really didn't like when they both sat at the head of the table

He should have gotten his memories back like percy did, He never got to learn who he was or what he stood for in the past because he never got to get those back, even after the war ended hera/juno didnt return them, which I think would have made a really interesting ending to TLH, or getting them during the quest or something, but he dies without knowing who he was, only a pawn for the gods

Have had mention of him previously, like a picture thalia had and thats why she even agreed to bring annabeth, because she reminded her of jason, or just that she even HAD a little brother so readers could have had a fun plot twist and even more of a heart warming reuniting scene

Adding to that a bit i think thalia and jason really should have had more time together, like maybe in toa mentioning that thalia had been visiting jason when she could to catch up on lost time, to be siblings again and try to live as normally as possible. (off topic but i think the jason/luke comparisons are 50/50, i like others seeing it and Thalia at first but removing the idea immediately because at one point she liked luke and jason is her baby brother)

Let him be awake during fight scenes

I think jason could have grown more, and adapted a mix of fighting, a bit roman, a bit greek, and a bit feral, to match how his life was

when we see him in toa i think it would have been fun to see how much he had grown, experimenting with new styles (maybe a bit more alt considering his older sister, but he was at a boys school so maybe outside of it?) Just, growing into himself and not focusing on the gods as much, he lived and died for them, without much in return

Let us know who his friends were before he lost his memories, like have percy seens people asking around or being asked if he had seen a blonde gut about yae high, named jason, just stuff like that to show he had a community or at least someone who truly cared he was gone

Ik it was more of a list but yk, also sorry for the lack of punctuation, i forget it exists unless its an excessive amounts of commas, i like commas, and forget to capitalize my I's

Thanks for coming to my ted talk

[mar3ggiata]

professional help, finale. All's well what ends well.

simon riley x original character.

'Nothing's gonna hurt you, not while I'm around.'

'You know, I still think about that day a lot.'

'You do?'

He shifted beside her, making the covers shuffle and move on her body. He grabbed the hem of the sheet, pulling it on her naked shoulders, he knew she was always cold in the morning.

'Sometimes.'

She kept her eyes closed, she was still sleepy, and at the same time she didn't really want to remember. The fact that he still thought about that time frightened her. It was guilt, what she felt. He pulled a hair from the pillow, a long blonde curl, 'This yours…' He felt her cold feet trying to fit in the space between his calves, he welcomed them to warm them up.

Me and Simon never went on that date. I'm Alba, by the way. Me and Simon never went on that date, after the bar or whatever. A lot has changed since then and we really just forgot about it. You best believe we had other problems. If everything happens for a reason, I sometimes still struggle to see it. I lost everything. I lost everything and I don't know what I gained. Well, that's wrong, Simon's what I gained. Simon is all I have. I look back at who I was when this mess started, hell, I look back at who I was when I got my job as a therapist and I just… I don't recognise myself. Sometimes I envy the times when I was so clueless. Life's more painless for the brainless. Sometimes I even wish I could go back. Simon is the only real reason why I choose to stay. Simon is the reason why it all went to shit, really. Me and him, we played a pivotal role in each others lives, his life changed too when he met me. And when, well, the whole thing went down. The beginning of the end. Here's what happened that night.

We drank some more, I was tipsy and so was everyone. It was nearly two in the morning when Roman offered me a ride home. Truth be told, I don't really remember what I said, I have very little memories of that part of the night. I think I might have looked at Simon, who asked me if I needed a ride, if I drove there, to which I said no, that I was gonna get a cab. He spoke to me like the others weren't there, he spoke in a protective way. No way he was gonna let me get a cab, or go home with Roman for that matter. He claimed me. Roman didn't insist when I told him I was with Simon. We left together, as everyone suspected. They had been saying it since he walked in, they're gonna go home together. Nothing happened, if that's what you're thinking. I was way too drunk and he was respectful. He walked me to my door and said hi to the dog. I thanked him for the ride and he looked at me with those gentle, deep, brown eyes I love so much. He said to sleep tight, with a confidence he didn't have within himself at the bar. It made me giggle and I almost invited him to come inside and spend the night. I'm kinda glad I didn't.

'I don't like that you bring that up', she murmured, she turned her back to him, rolling to her side and hugging the pillow under her head. Embarrassed. He sighed, 'Why, cause you know you messed up?' She felt burning in her chest. She felt his arm, firmly wrapping around her waist, was like poison. A trap. She tried to resist his force, he pulled her towards him, his chest against her back, both arms around her to keep her in his warm embrace. One of his legs swung on her to keep her from escaping him, he was always afraid she wanted to run away from him. Even if he woke up beside her every day.

He told me everything that happened and how things went not long ago, I waited a year to know, maybe more. Again, a lot has happened, so we forgot about some parts of our story. He told me how happy he was and how weird he felt that night, driving to base. Good things didn't really happen to people like him, and I was a good thing. I was good, I treated him like he was good. He drove to base, went to bed and thought about me all night. He thought about our date, the dress I was going to wear, my eyes, my neck, the skin of my hands. He thought of us eating, talking, maybe bringing Jinx along with us. He fell asleep wondering where to go with me, he hoped to dream about me in his bed. Silly.

She huffed and whined at him, trying to free herself from his grasp. 'Where you going?' He whispered and she scratched his arm. 'You're always wrong.' She commented. They had that talk a million times, he never failed to make her feel miserable. 'You're selfish.' He pinned her down in a swift motion, his body on top of hers, one hand brushing her hair away from her face. Her breasts were pressed against his chest, out of habit, she had spread her legs to welcome him. Her feet rested on his calves. 'I'm selfish because I love you'. He nuzzled his face in the crook of her neck, breathing in her scent. She circled his shoulders with her arms. 'You would have done the same thing, if not worse.' She pushed him back away from her, her hands pressed as firmly as she could on his pecs. He was smiling.

The day after, he woke up groggy from the alcohol. He told me he couldn't be bothered with the briefing for the next mission and debated skipping it. His mind was somewhere else. Little did he know. Ruining his mood, that is the thing I'm most sorry for. I like my man happy. He sat down in a room full of soldiers, Price in front of them, his computer screen projected in the wall like he had prepared some kind of presentation. He told me the captain looked tense, or rather sad. It was a day he never really thought would come, he had news he didn't really want to share, or believe. Seeing him like this, made his heartbeat increase, he started to sweat. Something was going on.

'I would have done worse, yes…' His words were spoken into her cheek, he left a trail of wet kisses on her jawline, making her sigh loudly, her legs firmly wrapped around his waist '…you broke my heart.' She scoffed and let her hand travel down his back, scratching the skin of his lumbar muscles, 'So dramatic…' He cradled her face with his hands, forcing her to look at him. He liked teasing her about that time, and he knew how bad she felt. It was cause he craved reassurance that she would never do anything like it, ever again.

'Sit down, please.' He felt his palms sweaty, he felt a sense of discomfort. 'We had a…', even the captain, he was struggling to find the words, he looked unease. What in the world was going on…

'We're talking mafia. Uhm… Italian mafia, from Naples. It's called Camorra, I believe.' He stopped to check some papers, 'Laswell and Shepherd have been keeping an eye on a specific clan from over there, they're dealing with prostitution and drug trafficking.' He sighed. This was no normal mission. He tuned towards his laptop, an image appeared on the wall behind the captain. A woman, in her fifties. She had blonde hair, she wore glasses, she had a stern and serious expression on her face. In the picture, she looked out a window into a busy street. She had blue eyes and a roman nose. 'This is Tania Dalla Rocca, she runs the Dalla Rocca family. In Italy, especially in the south, they have very patriarchal families, but her husband, the ex leader, died in prison. She's been in control of the business for over twenty years.' He went back to the laptop and a new image appeared. A man, maybe his age, a dark brown buzzcut. 'This is Carmine Caserano, he runs the opposing clan. They've been fighting with the Della Roccas for decades, over businesses, neighbourhoods… They're eternal enemies.' He cleared his voice. Simon began to feel a stinging pain in his left temple. 'We're in charge of dismantling both families, essentially.' He let his eyes wander inside the room and Simon could swear he let his gaze linger on him for a few seconds. Pitiful. I'm sorry, son. 'They've been in contact with Italian-American immigrants for a while and the situation is escalating quickly, they're terrorising citizens, we're gonna work with Italian special forces in Naples and try to solve the situation.' '

'What situation?' someone asked. He could not turn his head to look at who spoke, he was frozen in his chair.

'So… someone in the Dalla Rocca family is responsible for a… an accident, back in 2013. Explosives inside a car. One of the Caseranos died.' He was about to click on the laptop again, but stopped. 'The Caseranos, the other family, is moving for revenge, they want control over the territory, sure, but more than anything they want revenge. Many innocent lives are at stake.'

'So, are we protecting the other family? And the terrorist?'

Price shook his head. 'No one is worth protecting. No one is innocent over there. It's incarceration or death, for all of them. And the… terrorist, what she is is a terrorist, is someone many of you know, I'm afraid.'

Her eyelashes fluttered, a small whimper escaping from her parted lips. 'You broke my heart, Eva', he murmured into her mouth, he licked her lower lip, feeling her soft hand cupping his cheek. She replied by taking his face in her hands and kissing him softly, pulling him down towards her.

A click of the keyboard, a new picture appeared on the wall. As he leaned foreword, to better see the image, the ringing in his ears was becoming almost painful. He didn't need to lean in, he could see me perfectly. A young Jude was painted in the wall behind Price. My eyes, my mouth, the bridge of my nose, it was definitely me, younger and angrier. 'She's not even 18 in this picture'. Price's voice mixed with the murmuring and chatting of Simon's colleagues, who had recognised the girl on the screen. The terrorist.

She brushed her thumb over his lower lip, he kissed her hand and then her mouth again. His arms kept her still, his hand pressed firmly on her hipbone, scorching hot.

He felt like throwing up. He felt like an idiot. Like a fly in a spider's net, I had tricked him and everyone else into believing I was someone else, Alba. Him specifically, my special Simon. Without saying a word, Price skipped to the next picture. It was a classified FBI file. His eyes scanned the file, reading through the mountains of lies I had told him, reading the truth. The whole truth. He was being set up, it could not be real. His head was throbbing, his blood cold. It had to be a joke, a sick, sick joke.

His hips aligned with hers, he drank the soft gasp that left her lips when she felt him slip inside her.

'This is Eva. Jude. Some of you know her as Alba'. Price gave him a quick look, but he wasn't paying attention. His eyes felt like they were burning thought the wall. Eva. 'The woman I showed you earlier…' That's her mother, he thought. '…That's Eva's mother.' No… That's Alba, no? No, Eva. Eva Dalla Rocca, I wasn't born in the UK, I was born and raised in Southern Italy, by one of the most influential clans in Naples. I have a sister, I had a brother. 'She was hired here and given a fake identity, under the condition of cutting all ties and contact with her family…' Price went on. Eva. Not Alba, not just a therapist, what? Eva. Southern Italy, the fucking mafia? Naples, moved away when I was 18 after a major attack that let to the death of an infant, he read. My Alba? How? An attack? How? Why? It couldn't be, it had to… it had to be a mistake, I was with him the night before, so pretty, so sweet, I held his hand...

Her nails pressed on the flesh of his back and shoulders, while he rocked his hips foreword. Opening his eyes, he took in the sight of her, curled against him, clinging to him like she was afraid he was gonna vanish like a fever dream. Her brows furrowed, mouth agape sucking in a breath. He saw her in that state every single night, and yet it never failed to make him dizzy, the amount of pleasure he was able to make her feel. The necklace he bought her fell in the middle of her chest, a blue stone shining in the morning light.

'Since she broke no contact yesterday night, we have every reason to believe she's going back to her roots, possibly helping out her family. She's our first target.' Eva. Terrorist. He had just asked the terrorist on a date. Broke no contact, I was a criminal. I was hired and given a fake identity. Eva was hired and became Alba. Eva. God help him, so many lies, and he believed. Every. Single. Word.

He leaned down close, desperate to feel more of her, everything. It was never enough, he was never close enough, always needed more. She raised her hips from the mattress, reaching for him. He allowed himself to relax and lay his head beside her on the pillow. She had one arm around his neck, one hand pressed on his chest. Left side, his heart. 'Scusami', he said in her mother tongue. His hips lazily grinding against her, he moaned her name into her neck repeatedly like he was praying. Her legs straddled his hips, she was shaking.

'I'm sorry to everyone who considered her a friend.'

This is what happens when you let your guard down. Now Simon, Ghost, wasn't good with feelings, but he sure was good at war. Next target, did the captain say? Target. A job. Terrorist. Consider it done, then. War was what I wanted, war was what I was created for. Well, so was Simon. War was what he would bring me.

This is what happens when you let your guard down, this is what gets people heartbroken, killed, fooled, this is what happens to people like him. Betrayed. By me of all people, his sweet angel. It was absurd, but he let me do this, he gave me permission to ruin eveything, deep down it was his own fault.

Such an idiot.

On top of him, she intertwined her fingers with his, pinning his arms to the mattress, stretching them above his head. Her movements against him were erratic and desperate, back and forth, he whimpered like he was crying. Making him feel so good, it was her way of saying she was sorry. She kissed his eyes, she kissed his cheek and his mouth. She created a world from scratch just for him, a world where he was only hers, every hour of every day. Hers to love, to take care of. She reminded him every day, he was hers forever. He was safe everyday. Nothing's gonna hurt you. Not while I'm around. When his hands were freed, he circled her back with his strong arms, needed to feel her at all times, her belly pressed against him, her ribcage, her breasts. She run her hands through his hair that were starting to stick with sweat. ‘Sei l’amore della mia vita’ she whispered, like a hymnal. He believed her. He couldn't possibly do any different.

notes: happy professional help finale! I started writing this series after thinking about it a lot, I am new to all this. I wrote at least 27 chapters before even publishing the introduction, over a year ago. I am very very happy to have continued this project to the point of finishing part one. I still have a lot in mind and a lot of things that I want to explore with my characters. thank you so so much to all of you that liked, reblogged and commented such sweet things!! I really appreciate it so so much and I hope you'll continue to love Alba, or better, Eva and Simon as much as I love them.

I'm gonna go back to writing!

enjoy!

mare.

taglist:

@random-fandom-smoothie

@ghostlythots @sweetfemmefatal @natxpat @chavarriakeren647 @ravenmoore14 @farther-than-pleiades @internallyscreamings @hwromi @atoxicrat @cuti3maddi3 @deafeningkittenblaze @its-celeste @serene-hills @lexidoll12 @poohkie90 @lunatiquess

@warmedbythebody @katzykat @iristhemuse @azkza @keiraslayz @abbyandermine @jennyjencakes @dest-nai @corset-briefs @nutze-kekse @ilytsukiw @b3anspr0ut

@pondsblog @missyouzoe @fallenkitten @bigauthorrascalturkey @bethtay @angelynn-nicole @starluv @stargirlisworld @giyuuslittleslut @impossiblecupcakelight

@rkrivees-blog @ghosts-hoe @kam1snotverysmart @gauky76 @freyjaaasstuff @spicyspicyliving @scottpilgrimvsmyfists @courtney0-0 @shinchanboi @darling006 @my-therapist-hates-me @asteriadisera

[is-that-plural]

sander sides

-please ramble if you want-

[ click for better quality ]

[ artist : x ]

i was lowkey waiting for this hehe

Sanders sides is a web series created by (as far as we know) a singlet, Thomas Sanders !

he originally created it as a way to differentiate parts of his one personality, the "main" parts that make up his personality as a whole

one of the ex-writers of the earlier seasons of the show had actually mention how accidental the plural-coding of sanders sides is ! ( we cant actually find the post ourselves, the blog has been deactivated </3, but the tldr (as far as we remember) of it was; "we didn't make sanders sides as a way of being system-coded at all, but we appreciate the systems who can relate to it!" )

the main reasons why it could be read as plural is because at the end of the day each episode is thomas (the character of the creator, not the creator himself) speaking to "himself in his living room for twenty minutes"

the way the show is formatted is through youtube videos with thomas(actual guy this time) actually casted himself to play the 'sides' as they are aspects of him as a whole.

Whilst DID isnt a personality disorder; theres a lot of aspects of sanders sides ( a show about One Personality and the many aspects of One personality ) that many systems ( myself included ) can definitely relate to; "We have the same face" as a reoccurring joke, "talking to yourself" also, and of course the repeated mentions of the sides being in thomas's head

what makes them Not plural though: >the sides don't (in general terms) front or, 'take over' thomas's body*

*there is a caveat to this actually: roman and logan can each control one arm, but this is a reference to left/right brain capabilities (a persons left brain having control over the right side of a limb and vise versa)

>i went over this at the beginning but; each side is only a part of thomas as a whole, they are not their own people like headmates are; the sides are just "a side of thomas' personality"

So

Is that plural ?

Rating: there is many aspects of sanders sides that are relatable for systems but at the end of the day it is not plural

[burgendee69]

Frankly, Argo II should not have been their mode of transport. Not only does it make transport boring and uniteresting (when before it drove the plot forward a lot) it makes a lot of sideplots feel unnecessary? like we have a mission dedicated to finding supplies and then we have more random subplots which don't contribute to the plot and prolong the length of the books and reduces the tension because in the end they go to their own luxury rooms and state of the art technology rooms in a fucking flying ship??

That's just the ship because this makes leo so OP like this is not a struggle for him and it diminishes him as a charater which only gets worse as he discovers Archimedes' sphere which in the end disconnects him from the other characters and the plot because he magically comes up with the solution and ends up with all the pieces in his hands without anyone else's help b the time Gaia's battle comes around.

I don't think this is a problem with just his charcater either- Piper's charmspeak is so powerful it defies all of Rick's previously established rules, Hazel gains control of the mist for no reason while neglecting her actual powers which fulfilled the same purpose and Frank found out how to shapeshift but it's barely used because he has barely any plot significance.

They all seemingly have powers which are somehow even more OP than the big three kids while nerfing Percy's powers, blatantly writing Annabeth out and literally knocking Jason out of every fight to give the other fighters their spotlight.

IMO, the root cuase for this was that he trapped 7 incredibly poweful teenagers together forcing them to face the exact same conditions and therefore had to take out the experienced fighters so that the rest of the 7 would be relevant again. This literally would not matter is he had thought to spread out the seven and idk not had everyone experience the same plot on an OP boat and spend the majority of their time doing nothing?

The seven can still be main characters without ALL of them being on the quest. Hell have Gaia manipulate Percy when he doesn't have memories and coerce him to her side before he remembers his life, have Annabeth struggle with the pressure of being a leader during wartime and athena's quest, make Grover the one who tries to gather allies, stick Frank in the middle of roman politics while he tries to make peace, send Hazel of a desperate search for Nico and there you go! Leo, Piper and Jason are stuck trying to make their way to Greece because there's they're the only hope and get them to form an alliance at the end of the House of Hades so it drives the desperation and tension high as they all rush to save the world. and for Christ's sake let Blood of Olympus be at least half battle so Gaia and her children can be trated as an actual threat?

[dootznbootz]

At this point i am so sorry Ovid for all the hate you are better than the author that wrote Tele-GONE-ny :')

Like makes no sense for Odysseus story like it's not even canon. I believe he wrote it because of the success of Homer and wanted to make a known book based on something

Hmm this behaviour is oddly familiar with something recently we experience 👀

Honestly, it's not Ovid's fault in a way, just most peoples' taking his work as GREEK mythology instead of Roman. I don't think it's bad to enjoy the Roman Mythology version as long as people KNOW it's Roman and as long as they leave sweet boy Perseus alone.

Tele-GONE-y? That is just a titan of its own and it's so frustrating.

Because if you look it up? That's technically part of the Epic Cycle!

One of these is not like the others~

And it really sucks because we can't just say "It's Roman, therefore technically not Greek Mythology" like we can with Ovid! Why, out of all the myths for Odysseus and Penelope, would you choose this one? Why would you finish such a lovely story with such a trainwreck?

It literally goes against Tiresias' Prophecy! The myth of Odysseus being turned into a horse would've been a better one to go with if people didn't think "dying peacefully, surrounded by loved ones, after old age" isn't "exciting enough". At least then it's kind of cute to possibly imagine Horse!Odysseus being pampered by his family or something.

It is so dumb and just WRONG to say that the Odysseus and Penelope that are in the Tele-GONE-y are the same ones we know and love in Homer's masterpieces.

Even to lump the Tele-GONE-y with the rest is laughable. Even without considering the extreme out of character-ness of it, its plot is just messy and almost overly simple. As even with just FRAGMENTS of the others, we can take so much of what is implied and see the beautiful web that's being woven!!!

One of my favorite arcs, for example, is with Palamedes and his effects along the way. He places Odysseus' BABY in front of the plow and ofc, Odysseus saves his son. His sanity is proven and he has to go to war now, after having a prophecy of being the only survivor and not seeing his family again for 20 years.

Odysseus' rage is just boiling under the surface and he frames Palamedes for treason, causing him to be killed. THEN Palamedes' father, King Nauplius, hearing of his son's death plans to get revenge against all the kings. He goes to their wives telling them that their husbands plan to replace them.

Almost all of them either killed themselves or took new lovers EXCEPT for Penelope. While we don't know the exact details, I believe it was likely that:

1.) "You're telling me, my husband, my Odysseus, is planning to replace me? That man is the biggest simp to ever simp, I've never heard such utter bullshit in my life. Get out of my house." 2.) When she realizes that he is Palamedes' FATHER? She's absolutely not believing one word that leaves his mouth. This is the father of the man who nearly got her baby killed and caused her husband to be taken away from her. She does not trust him.

(Silly side thing but Penelope's also probably making sure that Telemachus doesn't meet him lol "Remember that mean man who put you in front of the plow that I told you about? That's his dad. Don't talk to him. We don't know if 'Malice towards Telemachus' was inherited." 😂 )

It's so amazing and ironic that Nauplius got revenge against them all except for the man responsible!!! ALL BECAUSE PENELOPE IS THAT COOL AND SMART!

Granted, yes, he lied to Anticlea causing her heartbreak but still!

It's just such masterful and lovely storytelling!!! The rest of the Epic Cycle interweaves and connects lil stories into the big ones in such satisfying ways!!!

There is nothing like that in the Tele-GONE-y. No little seeds placed along the way to build upon. No "hey, this decision is actually monumental". Shit just happens.

It really does just feel like a young author being like "So, this is my new OC. His name is Telegonus and his dad is Odysseus! No, his mom isn't Penelope! And like, he has a special stingray spear and he kills his dad with it!"

I'm all for supporting and encouraging authors no matter how silly or cringy they get (I'm silly and cringy too!) but imagine from Homer's and the other authors of the Epic Cycle's perspective, that you write a book that you worked so hard on, only for people to take some FANFICTION as canon and therefore affecting how people see your work!

I got really rambly but I'm just genuinely mindboggled that people take the Tele-GONE-y as canon. It's not good. In general.

Another small thing but Homer usually tells us little details even when the characters don't know it. For example, with Helen not knowing her brothers are dead. (in Homer's works)

But I can’t see two of the men’s leaders,                                     Castor, tamer of horses, and Pollux, the fine boxer—they are both my brothers, whom my mother bore along with me. Either they did not come with the contingent from lovely Lacedaemon, or they sailed here in their seaworthy ships, but have no wish                                     to join men’s battles, fearing the disgrace, the many slurs, which are justly mine.” Helen spoke. But the life-nourishing earth already held her brothers in Lacedaemon,                             in their own dear native land.

(Book 3, Johnston)

Homer would have most likely said something in Book 12 of the Odyssey along the lines of "And so he left Aeaea for the final time, not knowing that he will have another son that grew up without his father." or something. HE DOESN'T SAY ANYTHING LIKE THAT. BECAUSE IT'S NOT CANON. It also never says that they slept together in Book 12. All she did was pull him away so that they could talk and she could warn him.

[fraudulent-cheese]

Consider talking about the parallel lines of roti. PLEASE this is literally my roman empire and I'd love to hear your take

Oh geez, hope i can do them justice then!

So generally when people talk about the parallel lines plot in roti, it's to criticize it in various ways - and it deserves it, mind you - but a common pattern i see in those critiques is trying to find someone who's in the categorical 'wrong'. While i have entertained discussions related to that sort of thing with the other love triangle, im not sure it really applies here if you try to look at it from the character's perspectives themselves.

This isn't to say they're all innocent, they still make mistakes and aren't good at communicating (they're teenagers. duh.) Yes, Zoey's overly possessive of a guy she isn't even dating. Yes, Anne Maria gushing about Vito to Mike's discomfort during one elimination ceremony isn't great. Yes, Mike trying to actually talk it out would've helped resolve their issues quicker.

However... You can't really pin the full blame on anyone involved here. Yeah Zoey and Anne Maria fighting over a guy was dumb, but it makes sense in character; Zoey's both judgemental and was previously isolated, so i can see Anne Maria affirming she knows the "real Mike" really getting under her skin and overriding her people pleasing tendencies, while the other girl doesn't take any shit and especially won't take it from a girl who seems to think she's dating the guy she's currently seeing.

in my mind, they've ALL been screwed over in this situation in some way and it somewhat makes sense! Vito's being screwed over because he's an alter in a system with a host who's determined to pretending he's a singlet and doesn't remember what Mike does with Zoey. On top of that, no alter in the system is actually communicating at this point, so there's no real way Vito would know or care about it. Mike's being screwed over because of past experiences of telling the ones closest to him about being a system and rejecting him for it (it's heavily implied in one of his confessionals), a lack of memory for what Vito does and not wanting to screw up his friendship with/crush on Zoey. Anne Maria and Zoey are being screwed over because from the former's perspective she's in the right and trying to romance a guy who only seems to be truly himself around her, while from the latter's perspective it's almost like she's been lead on since both parts of Zoke are not subtle about their mutual crushes. Neither girl knows what's truly going on either since Mike won't tell them.

And of course, there was probably already going to be friction between Zoey and Anne Maria due to Zoey's own issues with making connections and projecting at least some of her baggage on the other girl and Anne Maria (reasonnably might i add) not wanting to take that. And also because the roti writters wouldn't allow the girls to be friends despite the things they could've bonded over but that's a seperate tangent and a half-

NOW i haven't been very critical of this plotline so far, and that's for a veryyyy specific reason; my biggest issue with it is how the narrative treats it. IE, by desperately trying to place Anne Maria as being in the wrong and siding very obviously with Zoke as the end point; they're already set up by episode fucking 1, Anne Maria doesn't get an arc or story outside of being the romantic rival, the alters in general aren't focused on as individuals throughout their short time on screen, zoke is literally the canon ship AND the campfire couple TWO SEASONS IN A ROW... It results in a plotline that is both predictable and boring to watch (for me at least.) and it's the origin point for most of the things wrong with it, at least the parts of it that aren't linked with writing issues that already plague huge parts of the show (cough cough the misogyny)

The saddest part for me though is that half the parallel lines don't get closure in the end. Vito and Anne Maria never talk again after Anne Maria's elimination, they never clear things up (on screen) between eachother, or even have Mike clear things up with Anne Maria! It's just never resolved, and it's never brought up again.

I'd like to think, even if it's post canon or whatever, that Mike/Vito went to talk with Anne Maria alone and tried their best to explain what was going on. It would take some adjustment and good communication to work-out, but i'd like to believe that it could! In my little brainhole i think that Anne Maria and Vito could just end up as friends who kiss sometimes for fun or are just close in general. Hell i could even picture Anne Maria and Mike + Zoey and Vito being friendly after the show's over and they've actually had a conversation about things. But alas, this is Total Drama, so the best we have to deal with these things is fanfiction and spinning the characters in our heads like microwave. Sad! Or joyous? Depending on your perspective.

[lefaystrent]

Me, Myself, and These Guys Who Kinda Look Like Me Ch. 3

Fandom: Sanders Sides

Pairings: Thomas/The Sides

Summary: It starts with dreams. Then Thomas starts seeing the dream people in the waking world.

Thomas doesn't know how to bring it up to anybody or if he even should at this point.

AKA, Thomas has to acknowledge the six colorful characters in the room, much to their long-awaited delight.

AO3 Link: click here

Chapter 1, Chapter 2

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Thomas comes back to consciousness without realizing he left it.

The room is dark and the TV's volume turned down. A movie plays now, Harry Potter but he's not awake enough to decipher which one. He's seen all of them, loves them all. He owns plenty of merchandise to boot(probably too much merchandise). The familiar trills of music are a lullaby to his sleepy brain.

For a wonderful moment, Thomas can pretend he fell asleep on the couch and nothing weird or bad or potentially mind-altering is going on.

A hand pets at his head sending a jolt of awareness through him. Fingers slip under his bangs, and the coolness is a startling contrast to his heated skin. The rest of Thomas's body catches up and tells him he is freezing and this one thin blanket is not doing enough. He gives a pathetic whimper and a shiver wracks up his spine.

"I think his fever has come back," a low voice says. He's not sure who. The hand presses against his forehead more firmly. "I uh, I think his head feels hot. I'm not used to being able to touch things though, so don't quote me on temperature differences."

"Thomas? You awake kiddo?"

"Uh-uh," Thomas moans in spite. He'd very much like to be back asleep.

Someone snorts and the hand falls away from him quick as lightning. He opens his eyes to see Virgil in the dim light of the TV, blocking his view as he hovers over him. He's on his knees in the spot where Roman last sat, and he's chewing at his lip fiercely.

Thomas eyes his jacket, the thickness of the sleeves, the lines of patchwork sewn in... Would Virgil lend it to him if he asked pathetically enough? It looks very warm and bulky in a way that would be like wearing a cloud.

Virgil rears back a bit, catching his gaze and unable to look away. "You can still see us, right Sanders?"

"Yeah... You're Virgil."

That catches him off guard. It occurs to Thomas that Virgil never formerly introduced himself. Thomas had just picked up on his name at some point from the others talking.

Speaking of the others, he notices Logan, Patton, and Roman huddled over and around him, heads poking over each other almost comically.

"You're still here," he says, a little dumbfounded, a lot tired.

"And you can still see us," Patton says sappily. He's flapping his hands up and down in excitement.

Roman pushes through. "Quick, me next! Do you remember me too?"

Thomas resigns himself to them being strange about him saying their names. "Roman. And Patton and Logan. Where's the other two?"

"Stepped out," Virgil replies. Like last time, Thomas has no idea what that means. He imagines they're out on his front doorstep, just making a phone call. Highly likely. When he continues to stare at Virgil, the emo fidgets with his hoodie-zipper.

"How are you feeling?" Patton interjects before Thomas can gear himself up for a proper questioning.

"Not good," Thomas admits. "Very not good."

"Right, uh, medicine?" Virgil looks left and right as if a bottle of medicine will appear.

Logan pauses him. "First, we should check his temperature. It's important to monitor any major fluctuations."

"I don't have a thermometer," Thomas mumbles. "I had one, don't know where anymore. It probably ran away. "

"Your life is in shambles, man," Roman muses.

"I know."

"Then we will have to use means by comparison." Logan sits on the edge of the coffee table. During Thomas's sleep, he had stretched out on the couch and taken a lot of the room to sit. No, he will not feel guilty about that. "Thomas, how do you feel now on a scale of one to ten?"

"Negative zero."

"By definition, zeroes cannot be negative. Besides, the numeric rating scale is traditionally an ascending test of pain or illness, with zero representing perfect health and ten suggesting intolerable or dire levels of symptoms."

"Did he fail the test?" Patton asks in concern.

"Shoulda studied," Virgil quips.

"Negative one then," Thomas grumps. "I feel negative one."

"If you must remain obtuse about this and reverse the scale, zero would then mean near-death. Tell me Thomas, do you feel close to death right now?"

"I'm not good with numbers, but does dead inside count?"

Logan adjusts his glasses. Twice. Then he holds his hands palms upwards and stares beseeching at the others. There is an unsaid, "What do I do with this idiot?"

Roman pitches in, "Thomas, on this negative scale of badness, how did you feel last night?"

Thomas hums and thinks about it for a moment. "I guess like a solid negative nine?"

Roman smirks at Logan. "There you go, comparison point made. He feels bad but not as bad."

"Bad is still bad though," Patton says. "Do you feel like you're running a fever?"

"Uh-huh."

"Would you like some more medicine?"

"Uh-huh."

"Okay, sweetheart, let's get you taken care of."

Taking medicine, as it turns out, involves sitting up. He could swallow a pill sideways. Drink some water while horizontal. He doesn't have to get up for that and leave his meager nest of warmth.

Virgil points out that he could choke and die and that it'd be really embarrassing if his friends or family found his body like that. Thomas commits to the horrible process of becoming vertical.

"I feel icky. And whicky. And all forms of sicky." Thomas is just being petulant and needy at this point. He's almost forgotten that these are dream people and not his friends who he's used to bantering with. It feels...scarily natural for him to be this way with these guys.

He blames the fever.

"Alright Mr. Icky Whicky. Bottoms up."

Thomas takes the glass of water from Patton and drinks down the pills.

Thomas pouts. "It didn't work."

"Ibuprofen generally takes about thirty minutes to take affect and reduce symptoms."

"He's not serious, Dr. Pill."

"I'm so serious that I'm black," Thomas says.

There is a solid five seconds of everyone staring at him uncomprehendingly. Finally, Roman snaps his fingers.

"Ah, Harry Potter! It's a reference, not a confused caucasian."

"I'm always confused." Thomas wants to drift back into the embrace of the couch cushions. He wants to close his eyes and will away the low throbbing sensation in his temples. He wants to ask for them to bring him another blanket and let him go back to sleep.

He wants to pee, most of all.

"I'll be back," he tells them.

They part for him. Patton calls after him as he climbs up the stairs, and Roman asks if he needs a battle buddy, but Thomas waves them off. He just needs a moment to himself and feel like he's in control of his own space.

***

He finishes up his business and wanders into his bedroom in search of his robe. He knows he has one somewhere, the blue one...

Remus sits primly on his dresser, one leg crossed over the other and hands daintily placed on his knee.

"Don't mind me, I've only been up to devious schemes while you were gone to Snore-ville." Remus smiles, very cheshire-cat like. This close, Thomas can see the purple tint of his eye-shadow. Paired with the mustache and ruffled costume, he looks like a dramatic villain. The kind that tie up damsels to train rails while busting out into a musical number.

Thomas glances around the somewhat messy room. Nothing is out of place, but all of the pictures and posters he has on the walls have been turned upside down.

"But why?" he asks.

Remus cackles, "Whys are only for why-ners! Maybe you should think more 'why nots' instead. It can open a lot of doors for you, you know. And windows that you can jump out of."

"Did the other guy jump out of the window? Is that where he went?"

"Sure, why not?"

Thomas shifts on his feet and glances towards the window, still out of sight behind his curtains and presumably closed. Out of all of the dream people, Remus makes him feel the most uneasy. He shares Roman's bold flair, but none of the others' tact or restraint. There's a real possibility that Remus threw Bowler Hat out the window. Or Thomas. He could throw Thomas out the window. It'd be like tossing a limp noodle.

"It's not that I just can't see him again, is it?" Thomas asks. He doesn't know how any of this works. If this is temporary, or if they'll fade in and out. Or if they're setting him up for...something.

Thomas had seen a lot of movies. Lots of TV shows. These guys could be angels, or devils on his shoulder.

Devils that swoop in and make him oatmeal and watch Harry Potter while he's sleeping. How dastardly.

Remus hums and shakes his head. "Not like you're thinking. I can't see him either, if it makes you feel any better. He sunk out a bit ago."

Sunk out. Not 'stepped' out.

As much as these people claimed they didn't fully understand their existence or tie to Thomas, they were definitely hiding things from him.

Thomas shivers and it's not entirely the fever to blame. "Can you guys... are you guys... Can you leave when you want? Do you go elsewhere at times? Like away from me or- or different realities?"

Remus slinks off the dresser, the material of his gaudy sleeves rustling like a titled moracca. There's no more smile on his face, but there's a smugness in the way he tilts his head back to stare down his nose at him. In exaggerated movements, he opens the nearby closet door, arm braced against the door frame. He's almost posing, or leering.

"There's no denying that we're tied to you Thomas. We're all sewn together in your silly string, tangled and knotted. But you're starting to think 'why not'. Keep it up, Tommy Boy."

He falls backwards into the rack of clothes, slamming the closet door behind him.

When Thomas throws the door back open, no one is there amongst his shirts and pants. But he does find his blue robe hanging off the door handle where once it hadn't been.

Why him. That's what he's been thinking the entire time.

"Why not," Thomas mutters and throws the robe on.

***

Following Remus's over-the-top exit, Thomas goes downstairs. Roman and Logan have migrated to the kitchen and are fussing over a boiling pot on the stove-top. From the sounds of it, they're fighting over the nutritional value of ramen (it has none). Patton sits on the couch with an arm slung over Virgil's shoulder while the other bites at his nails. They perk up when they see him.

Virgil jumps to his feet. "Everything...good?"

Thomas smiles bitter-sweet. "I don't think so."

The two in the kitchen have stopped in favor of listening to him.

"Oh..." Virgil says, and it's so damn crestfallen. In an instant, the discontent wars with empathy.

He grew up with brothers. Lord knows they had plenty of disagreements. The one thing that would break them every time was when one of them showed they were sad or upset. How many times had Thomas cut himself off mid-sentence to go give his brothers a hug? They'd do the same for him too, enough that their mom had gotten into the habit of telling them to "hug it out" whenever their disputes became too heated.

Thomas hugs himself in measly consolation. It's nowhere near the same. "Everything isn't bad either though... It's... I don't know what everything is."

"You don't have to do that," Patton says. His fingers are twined in his lap, his gaze focused on them. They all appear to be around Thomas's age, give or take. And by their accounts, they've only been conscious of their existence for, what? Ten years tops?

Patton though, he seems old right now with his honey eyes and crow's feet.

"None of us will think any less of you Thomas, if you're having a hard time with this. I think we'd be more surprised if you found this easy. You don't know us. We know you, but you don't know us."

No, he really doesn't. They have him at a complete disadvantage. "You guys have been watching me for a long time."

"We have," Patton agrees. His eyes are warm, if tinged sadly.

"Not in a creepy way!" Virgil blurts out. Then he immediately slaps a hand over his mouth, embarrassed. He grabs at his jacket several times before flipping his hood over his head. "God, I'm just making it sound more creepy. I swear we don't watch you all the time. We're not- it's not like that."

All the quiet moments he thought he was alone.

All the private times, the intimate ones.

The times he closed his doors and drew his blinds, and he let himself relax with no expectations. No one to please, and no one to see him at his lowest.

All those times he hadn't truly been alone.

Distantly, he's been aware of this fact since they showed up. But putting it into perspective...

"What is it like then?" Thomas asks, and it comes out surprisingly much more stable than he feels. "If it's not like that, what is it like?"

Virgil turns to Patton and mumbles, "I'm just messing this up."

Patton scoots forward to perch on the edge of the couch so he can pat at Virgil's arm. "No one's messing anything up. To answer your question, Thomas, it's like a one-sided friendship. We've hung out with you, watched you play games, watched you cook–"

"Try to cook," Roman intercedes. Logan elbows him to shut him up. "Right, sorry, not the vibe."

Despite the sass, Patton smiles, "Yeah, we've seen you try to cook. But we've also seen you practice lines and write songs. We've been to your performances, and we've seen you interact with the theater community and your fans. Your family and friends. And we've seen you do a lot of good kiddo. You're really amazing! And inspiring! You're able to inspire all of your friends to be better, because you do better for them. And I think that affects us too."

Patton stands up and approaches Thomas. His hands are clasped still and he makes no sign that he'll touch Thomas if Thomas doesn't want him to.

"It's been like a privilege," he says. His eyes don't water, yet the emotion is there all the same. "We've been rooting for you this whole time."

Thomas has to look away. His face feels like it's on fire. He's a total sap for mushy sentiments, and he's a melting puddle when they're directed towards him.

He just can't see why it's deserved.

Why not, Remus's voice whispers in his ears.

Thomas shuffles. He busies himself, retying his robe.

"Okay."

"Okay?" Virgil asks.

"Okay." Thomas nods. "But I want to know more. Like about you and where the others are right now. What does sinking out mean?"

That throws them for a loop. Patton and Virgil pause to stare at each other. They go on a journey of silent conversation through a serious of facial expressions.

"Perhaps I can explain."

Logan comes around the kitchen archway. His hands are behind his back and he stands sure of himself. Paired with the tie and glasses, Thomas thinks he wouldn't be out of place in a classroom setting. He's got the tone for it too, speaking more clinically.

"We are not corporeal, or wholly so. We can move through walls and objects, and until recently, we were able to touch or move inorganic material only rarely."

Thomas remembers Remus disappearing in his closet. He could have went through the floor or walls. Oh God, were they just- hanging out in the walls right now? Was that hurting the insulation?

Wait.

"Is that why sometimes I can't find things? Like my keys?"

"Mostly no. That would be more attributed to you being incredibly disorganized and absent-minded."

"Ah, I suspected, but thank you for confirming."

"Indeed. To demonstrate," Logan lifts his arm to touch the back of the couch. Except his fist goes into the material. His hand is simply gone up to the wrist, as if there is a hole he had stuck it through.

"Hah, okay," Thomas exclaims. He holds a hand to his face, mouth open. "Okay, okay, okay."

Patton shrugs innocently. "Can't really cushion the blow on that one."

The exasperated expression Logan gives him is enough to startle a choked laugh out of Thomas. Especially when Roman chimes in with a, "Sofa, so good!"

It's honestly the little jokes like that, that have kept him from becoming entirely unhinged. It's not unlike him to crack jokes to cover up the bad feelings. These people so get him that it's hard not to like them.

"As I was saying," Logan says with a clear tone of disdane. "We have the ability to pass through inorganic matter or interact with it. Save for last night, we have never done so efficiently, and we certainly never were able to interact with organic matter."

"Can you talk any less like a textbook, Bill Nye the Science Tie?"

"Can you boil water properly, Roman?"

Roman realizes at that point that the pot is bubbling over. He curses and rushes to turn down the heat.

"We've never touched people. Real people, I mean," Virgil offers. "They just walk through us like we're ghosts."

"But we can touch each other!" Patton proves this by hugging Virgil. He acts like he doesn't notice the other's grumbling.

"So you feel real to each other?" Thomas questions, peering forward. It doesn't look off or anything. It's just two people hugging in his living room. Or one being assaulted with hugs, rather.

"Real enough!"

"So...not real?"

"Have you ever imagined touching someone?" Roman calls over while he's busy pouring in squares of ramen.

"He was once a teenaged boy. It's only natural with heightened hormones–"

"Not like that, Logan!" Roman is so flustered he doesn't bother with a nickname. He swipes a hand through his hair. "Sheesh, platonic touching! Platonic!"

"Well you didn't specify–"

"I'm specifying now! Thomas, have you ever daydreamed of holding someone's hand? Of embracing your friends, or leaning against a shoulder? Have you thought about fingers tracing your skin, or hands cupping your cheeks?"

"I'm not sure where this is going, but yes. Touch is nice and I think about it a normal amount."

"That is how we feel to each other. The sensation is there, but only almost."

That...sounds fairly close to ghost territory, or what he'd imagine it would be like to be a ghost.

It's also incredibly depressing. He thinks back to that morning after his shower when he came out and Roman kept touching him.

"Is it different with me?" Thomas asks, holding up his hands as if he can see a difference between them. "When you interacted with me?"

Logan shuffles and stills himself just as quickly. "There is a noticeable tangible difference, you are correct. As Roman has described, touch between ourselves has a detached quality. Our limited experiences with you have involved a startling substantial quality."

"It's nice," Patton agrees.

Thomas takes a step back from them all. He pretends not to see the hints of hurt. He plays it off with grabbing his abandoned glass of water and takes some sips.

"So, how does this have to do with my question though? With where the others are?"

Logan again takes the reins. "Our metaphysical bodies are not bound by the same laws of physics as yours or other people's are. We are able to pass through walls as well as what I believe to be this dimension as we know it. Tell me Thomas, are you familiar with String Theory?"

"As in I have heard that it's a term that exists?"

"You know the Marvel movies?" Virgil throws out and Thomas brightens immediately.

"Oh yeah! Like with the multi-verse!"

"You gotta cater to your audience," Virgil explains to Logan's askance look.

"So the multi-verse is real?!" Sickness begone, Thomas has new priorities now. He can and will leap around the room. He nearly drops his cup in excitement.

"Why wouldn't it be!" Roman says. He's waving around a pasta spoon like it's a sword and Thomas wants to join him. Where's the TV remote?

"No, no, not like you're thinking," Logan attempts to settle them down. Then reevaluates. "Well, maybe, but it can't be proven as of yet. I don't wish to burst your figurative bubble, but the evidence we have accumulated, while suggesting more is plausible, is limited to smaller scale dimensions. Each of us have a fold in space that we 'sink' into that is specific to each individual."

"So Remus and Bowler Hat are in a tiny dimension right now?"

"Bowler Hat? Who– oh, he never did introduce himself, did he?"

"Don't you dare hijack his introduction too, Microsoft Nerd!"

"We can just keep calling him Bowler Hat," Virgil suggests in an amused lilt. "I'd like to see his reaction."

"Maybe Janus is the spy, you guys! He's pretty sussss, if you know what I mean!"

"This isn't Among Us, Popstar."

"So they're in a tiny dimension?!" Thomas yells over them.

Virgil shrugs. "Like a pocket dimension."

As if on cue, both Patton and Roman start singing "Pocket Full of Sunshine". It's incredibly good actually. Like they do harmonies and riffs in perfect sync.

If they've had years to themselves, stuck around Thomas, and unable to interact much with the world around them, they must have gotten awfully bored. If it were Thomas, he imagines he'd comfort himself with singing. A lot.

Or no, they weren't stuck around him?

"So you guys aren't attached to me? You can go to different dimensions?" Thomas asks, feeling like he's getting mixed signals.

"Just the one," Logan answers. "Think of it like walking into another room, but that room is a reflection of the previous room without any outside influence. Our 'rooms' are personalized to ourselves. To compare, my room looks like this living room but the art work is inspired by the De Stijl movement, there are more bookcases, and everything is neatly organized. Meanwhile, Patton's room is a veritable pile of stuffed animals."

Patton nods while grinning. "It's a com-pile-ation of all the best things."

"So like a literal pocket dimension," Thomas says. He sits the glass back down so he can move his hands in the air to elucidate. "Here we have my living room. And then underneath that, there's Logan's room. And underneath that, there's Patton's room. And when you sink out of...this reality, you go to your own rooms?"

"Well done, Thomas!" Logan beams, and whoa. That's weird to see him excited. And proud. These guys are way too encouraging to his need for validation.

"Freaked out yet?" Virgil asks.

The mood shifts. Underneath the jokes and conversation, there's a tension to them. Thomas sees it in Virgil's bitter smirk, how Patton tugs at his collar. Logan's momentary smile disappears and the gaze left behind is anticipatory. Roman has stopped watching him, eyes burning holes in the noodles he stirs.

They're waiting for the other shoe to drop.

They're waiting for Thomas to panic and reject them.

"Maybe," Thomas concedes. "I won't lie, it's probably going to hit me later. Um, if you guys see me having an anxiety attack, I apologize. Please don't take offense."

"Aw, kiddo-" Patton gasps, hands flying to his chest.

Thomas bulldozes over him and the pin-prickling sensation of being perceived as a person. "Not that it's a new thing, or anything! Which you guys probably already know because you've been watching me for years, and wow, that's embarrassing. I've had some really ugly ones, but that's not the point! It's all a part of the processing process!"

"Compartmentalizing," Logan summarizes.

"Yes, common tex-tiling!"

"No, compartmentalizing. It is a form of psychological defense mechanism in which thoughts and feelings that seem to conflict are kept separated or isolated from each other in the mind. Its purpose is to avoid the mental discomfort and anxiety caused by a person having conflicting values, cognitions, emotions, beliefs, etcetera within themselves."

"That makes me sound smarter than I am."

"It sounds like repression," Virgil comments.

Logan waves a finger. "Not quite. It can be the precursor to repression, but it is not inherently an unhealthy habit. Psychologist Tara Swart posited that compartmentalizing can be useful when dealing with difficult issues that cannot be prioritized in the moment. In fact, it can even be healthy when one needs to carry on daily tasks or work and is not in the proper environment to process their thoughts and emotions about a particularly troubling matter occurring in the background. It is only unhealthy if you avoid the matter with the intention of never returning to it."

"Um, where did all that come from?" Roman asks.

"As I said, psychologist Tara Swart-"

"No, we got that part. Since when have you been reading up on psychology enough to cite sources?"

Logan's mouth opens briefly, only to close again. His eyes narrow in thought. "I... must have remembered it from a text Thomas read. Perhaps during his college education?"

"I don't even remember college, and I was the one who went," Thomas says. His brain hurts just thinking about it. Not that his head ever stopped hurting. He's starting to feel tuckered out. Second-wind done blown away.

"It must have been something that stuck with me," Logan explains. "I happen to have an excellent memory."

"That means he never let's go of anything," Roman stage-whispers loudly.

"Falsehood."

Thomas collapses onto the couch. He debates keeping score on how many times Logan and Roman will dissolve into spats. He'd need a hefty notebook.

"Have they always been like that?" Thomas asks quietly to the calmer two who refuse to be drawn in. Patton does appear to be tempted to say something to them, if the way he bites his lip is any indication. He chooses to leave them to it in favor of flopping down on the couch beside Thomas.

"It used to be worse," Patton admits. Virgil gives a little, "You have no idea," under his breath, making the bespectacled man giggle. "They used to lash out at each other often back then. They're both pretty strong-willed. Remus used to be the only thing that could break up their fights."

"Yeah, by causing more fights," Virgil huffs. He climbs onto the coffee table and hunches there over his crossed legs. His black pants have artistic rips in the thighs, and he picks at them.

"Mm-hm, but it worked. They would stop yelling at each other and would team up against Remus instead."

"Remus would make them mad on purpose?" Thomas asks. He knows there are people like that, attention-seeking, but it doesn't sound very healthy.

Patton smiles like he knows what he's thinking. "It was fun for him, though that's not why he did it. And eventually he didn't have to do it as often."

"What about you guys?" Thomas asks.

"What about us?"

Thomas doesn't know what he's asking. He's looking at Patton with his cardigan-clad shoulders and wearing his Sunday best, and he's staring at Virgil with his painted fingernails and purple dyed bangs. There's a draw to them. Thomas stands over a well and the world is tilting him on its axis, beckoning him to fall in. He wants to fall in.

At length, Thomas wipes at his face. He sighs, "Nothing, never mind."

Worry etches lines into Patton's forehead. He frowns and gives a tentative pat to Thomas's knee. "How are you doing?"

"Tired?" Thomas says, and that about sums it up. His stomach growls and it's loud enough that he knows they hear it. "And hungry?"

Just like that, Patton's smile returns. "Okay, kiddo. Let me go hurry dinner along."

He leaves him with Virgil to go wrestle the others into shape.

Virgil doesn't say anything, giving him some room to breathe.

Thomas is infinitely grateful.

[sunsets12]

i learned about gladiators today and since the hunger games are very similar to gladiatorial fights, maybe you can use some of these :)

When a gladiator was freed (they were all slaves), they were given a wooden sword to show their freedom

Spectators decided if someone lived or died by either throwing their arm up like waving a white flag (you live!) or pointing a thumb to their chest, yelling the latin word for jugular (you die)

Anyone could go, but seating depended on class. Senators sat in the front, equestrians (part of the roman military) right behind them, regular people behind them, and then women, slaves, and foreigners up in the nosebleeds.

Most gladiators were slaves, but some freedmen joined simply because the gladiator schools offered free food and housing and medical care.

People were trained on one type of weapon and one style of fighting in order to make fights more interesting. Like “oh my god, this sword guy is fighting against a spear guy! this has never been done before!”.

Former gladiators were the ones who trained the new ones

They didnt wear all that much armor, so they would be faster.

The ground was covered in sand to soak up blood

Pulley elevators lifted gladiators onto the floor, so it would be more of a spectacle to the Romans.

Amphitheaters were also used for animal hunts, animal vs animal, man vs animal, and public executions (if you commit a crime you might be put into an arena completely naked and mauled by a leopard in front of a ton of Romans. so dont commit a crime.)

Exotic animals were brought to show the size and mightiness of the Roman empire to the people.

The games started out as stuff you‘d have at your funeral to show how wealthy you are, but people enjoyed them so much they became a more regular thing.

I hope this is at least a little helpful. i’ll probably have more once i remember more

The Hunger Games isn't just similar to gladiator fights--they're based on them! For those of you who don't know Susan Collins is, like, obsessed with Ancient Rome (hence the names in the Capitol pretty much all being roman/greek + the name of the country itself) (Side note: when a district character has a roman/greek name, it tends to emphasize that the character or, at least their parents, like the Capitol. Hence why District 2--which has the strongest ties to the Capitol--has roman names. Leda's name also shows that her father is sympathetic to the Capitol.)

Anyway, Susan Collins actually incorporated a ton of these already:

6. Former gladiators were the ones who trained the new ones

The Victors are forced to mentor the tributes.

7. They didnt wear all that much armor, so they would be faster.

As a rule of thumb, tributes don't wear armor, just clothes made for the arena's environment. In the 74th games, Cato receives armor in the District 2 package at the feast (presumably, it also could've been a very expensive sponsor gift)

9. Pulley elevators lifted gladiators onto the floor, so it would be more of a spectacle to the Romans.

The Launch Room/The Stockyard (as Katniss lovingly calls it)

10. Amphitheaters were also used for animal hunts, animal vs animal, man vs animal, and public executions (if you commit a crime you might be put into an arena completely naked and mauled by a leopard in front of a ton of Romans. so dont commit a crime.)

Muttations! Also, the 75th hunger games were specifically chosen to make an example of Katniss + the other Victors who were causing trouble

11. Exotic animals were brought to show the size and mightiness of the Roman empire to the people.

Once again, mutts. Some of which were made specifically for the games (the wolves at the end of the 74th games) and others were old mutts made during the dark days (tracker jackers and jabberjays)

One of the really interesting things about the Hunger Games is trying to draw parallels from the Capitol to Ancient Rome. One of my favorite things was when someone said they thought Cinna might have been inspired by Perpetua, a Christian martyr from Ancient Rome, which was really interesting to look in to. Idk, really interesting stuff