#I don't remember if I made this same choice when I first played his route (last year)

[tanukisurpreso]

I'm going to kill him, I'm going to kill him, I'm going to kill him, I'm going to-

[zorlok-if]

The new prologue it’s definitely AWESOME, I’ve played the game a few times to see different options, but I don’t know what determines the demon’s personality, because I got a friendlier? demon once but couldn’t figure out how to get it while I replay. 

Aw, thank you! Happy to answer your question but putting it below the cut since it's technically a spoiler, I guess :)

There are two different choices that Tommy makes which determine how the demon will present themself to him. They're always trying to charm and impress Tommy, and are just a charming person in general, but the demon chooses what side/version of themself to show to Tommy after looking into his mind and determining what they think will be most effective to make him sign a pact.

The first choice is how Tommy reacts to his friends when he says that the demon's name is Zorlok: Passive, Assertive, or Chill. The second choice (a little more indirect than the first one) is how Tommy leaves the conversation with Harlow. He can either leave the shop feeling Sure (believes in magic and knows that Harlow is a witch), Unsure (doubtful of Harlow), Grumpy (made Harlow mad and was assertive before), or Scared (made Harlow mad and was passive or chill).

Now there are 3.5 (technically 4) different ways the demon can act. Let's call them the Version 1, Version 2, Version 3, and Version 3.5:

VERSION 1 - A version of themself that plays up their sarcasm and seems to be more unbothered and chill. With this version they're trying to prove to Tommy that they can be the cool role model he's looking for. This version is apologetic, somewhat, for the mental invasion but will want Tommy to admit/see that he's in the wrong as well for intruding upon them. Tommy can ask for a proof of their power as long as they didn't leave Harlow's shop Sure that the ritual would work. (Probably the most common version players will encounter.)

To see this version choose either: Chill + Unsure, Chill + Sure, or Assertive + Unsure (there are slight differences in all three routes, but that's mostly flavor text)

VERSION 2 - A bombastic and unapologetic version of themself. This version of the demon is trying to appear like a classical demon, to impress Tommy with their prowess and power and be the exact kind of infernal force he needs to turn his life around. They will use more archaic words/phrasing and will want to demonstrate their power for Tommy.

To see this version choose either: Assertive + Sure or Assertive + Grumpy (there are differences between these two routes, in particular Assertive + Grumpy has one of my fav responses to the demon which is essentially "fuck you" but, you know Tommy, he doesn't swear)

VERSION 3 - With this version the demon will be deeply apologetic and really nice, getting Tommy back on their side after a rocky start. This persona's primary objective is to make Tommy think they can be the friend he's been looking for.

To see this version choose either: Passive + Sure or Passive + Unsure (slight differences between these two routes, maybe? I don't remember)

VERSION 3.5 - A variant of version 3 that's even more apologetic and flattering. This version's primary objective is to make Tommy think of them as human rather than demonic. When you encounter this version the game music also returns to Tommy's theme because they're trying to make Tommy think of the demon as the same as him. They want Tommy to feel completely safe with them after scaring him so much.

To see this version choose either: Passive + Scared or Chill + Scared (I don't think there's any difference between the two, but I could be wrong)

[lowkeyrobin]

Mcyt with an s/o who's a voice acter for video game characters? They mostly do voice characters in horror games n stuff(like until dawn, where the characters are also modeled after the voice after if I remember correctly)

I just think their faces would be hilarious if the choice they make in the game ends up with y/n getting killed lol

OH MY GOD YESSSSS ; also tried to use different games and not the same for everyone but I'm not the heaviest story game gamer LMFAO ; also don't talk about how timeliness wouldn't make sense shhhhhh

MCYT ; video game voice actor

includes ; tommyinnit, ranboo, badlinu, nihachu, quackity, & foolish gamers

warnings ; language & fictional violence and death/murder

masterlist

TOMMYINNIT

somehow the topic of mc story mode came up and how you actually voice acted a few characters + one of the Jessie variants (whichever you picked as a kid 🙏)

"WHAT? WHY DIDNT I KNOW ABOUT THIS?"

"I mean I was like, fourteen. I don't think I even knew you yet"

"absolute betrayal"

he literally speeds to his office, downloads the first game and proceeds to stream for three hours playing it (he selects whichever Jessie you voiced of course)

"OH MY GOD THAT IS MY PARTNER, HOLY SHIT, LISTEN TO THEIR BABY VOICE!"

the tweets never end

"spot the difference" and its an old/new pic of you compared to jessie

💀💀💀💀

once he gets to the save Petra or Lukas scene he straight up pauses and playfully yells at you like you made the game?? 💀🙏

he dies so many times it's not even funny

love him tho

RANBOO

Detroit become human

the moment he finds out you voiced a minor character he speedruns trying to find you

the character is also modeled after you, so he's begging chat to keep an eye out for you too

you're basically just some very friendly person trying to help Connor but no matter what route he/the player takes, you wind up dead for the angst

ouuuu the heartbreak, the angst

if it's by being shot, betrayed, or committing your own death, you're gone bro

"y/n why the fuck does your character die in the worst ways possible?"

you shrug

"that genuinley hurt my feelings. I don't wanna play this anymore"

"you didn't get to Connors possible death scene yet!"

"WHAT?"

FREDDIE BADLINU

TLOU 2 (I don't support the makers zionist views, I just thought this fit. free Palestine and do your daily clicks)

was literally cheering you on the whole time when you were bts for voice acting your character

you had to take like scream classes to upgrade your screaming abilities lmao

you gave the voice to a character modeled after you, an infected teen who runs into ellie on her way through the game

she/the player is forced to put you down because you're not immune

L

he plays through the game and turns to you like "dude do I actually have to kill you to progress?"

you just nod

"I'm sorry, I didn't wanna do this"

THE DESPERATE SCREAMING GOT HIM

literally looked at you in horror

"...are you okay?"

you smile and nod

NIKI NIHACHU

life is strange

mf you would've been like 16?? damn get ur bag, okay

she plays through and you va (whoever you choose) and everytime she hears your voice she smiles

"omg that's my partner! that's y/n, you guys!! :D"

the cutest

literallt cries at the end of the game

"y/n, were you in life is strange two?"

"why?"

"Cause I wanna play it but I don't wanna get my hopes up about you being there"

"just play it, just play it. trust me"

ALEX QUACKITY

twdg s4

basically clem/the player gets really close to your character and ends up having to kill them after they turn into a walker

the angst, the heartbreak

he's never done a full let's play / game play like that before and especially with a full game series

when he got to s4 and heard you for the first time he literally started jumping around and screaming

now when you die... it's jumping and screaming alright (in anger and sadness)

"ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME? I PLAYED ALL THOSE GAMES JUST FOR YOU TO DIE?"

"I mean there's an option to prevent me turning, you're just a dumbass"

"WHAT DO YOU MEAN? IM RESTARTING"

FOOLISH GAMERS

dead by daylight

you va'd multiple characters/killers

and the devs wanted to show appreciation by giving you your own playable character with your natural voice

when foolish finds out, he gets tubbo, quackity, tina & niki in a call to play dbd + stream for like 6 hours

loves seeing all the death animations you'd be given and all your voicelines

"OH MY GOD! guys this is my partner, they're so instantly talented at voice acting, holy shit!"

"we get it foolish, you love y/n"

"It's more than love, quackity, it's an obsession"

"my brother in christ, calm down"

[miraculouslbcnreactions]

I think part of the trouble with reading ML as a magical girl team is that it’s really written to be Marinette as the Lone Hero.

Sticking with Winx Club as an example (which I absolutely loved), even though Bloom was clearly the main character, the other girls got focus and attention and their own narratives unrelated to Bloom’s. Alya doesn’t have that; nearly the entirety of her scenes and focus are still for or related to Marinette’s story, which the writers have outright told us is always meant to come first.

As such, I think the more solid reading of ML is that it’s a poorly written superhero romcom that pretends to be a magical girl team, but only ends up offering crumbs. It’s why we’re shown the extra Miraculous and given a “core four/five,” only for it to be revealed that the new holders aren’t actually permanent team members. A decision I remember thinking at the time made absolutely no sense, but now in hindsight can be perfectly explained by how doing so would necessitate that attention/focus be taken from Marinette, which ML absolutely refuses to do.

In fact, I’d wager that’s the actual reason Chat Noir has a crush on Ladybug before Adrien falls for Marinette: it keeps his attention even as a hero focused on her. There’s plenty of salters who love to deride him for not focusing enough on the “job” and making LB pick up his “slack,” but that fits the show’s intentions perfectly. Chat can’t be written to (as) capable if LB is to shine. Hence why we had the whole Catwalker argument being nonsensically centered around “perfection.” 😭

(Post with the Winx club example for context.)

You're absolutely right. Miraculous is trying to be a loan hero show (or perhaps a serious hero and silly sidekick show) where Marinette is the only important character outside of the villains, a magical girl team show where female friendships are the most important relationships in the show, and a heterosexual rom-com all at the same time which leads to a ton of nonsense choices because those are three genres that really don't mix!

While I never outright said it, the post about rom-coms vs magical girl team shows was spawned by the fandom conflict over Alya's writing in the later seasons. I wanted to take a moment to point out why she keeps being given the roles that people expect Chat Noir to get and why both sides of that fandom conflict have very valid feelings given the way that the show is being written, so I didn't talk about the lone hero thing since that doesn't really play a part in Alya and Adrien's fight for narrative importance. If we're looking at Miraculous as a whole though, then it's 100% a piece of the puzzle when you're trying to figure out where the writing went wrong.

I've mentioned a couple of times that they're putting way too much on Marinette's shoulders. The main reason that I feel that way is because they also decided to give her a full team of heroes to work with which is deeply confusing. If they really wanted to go the Marinette-is-the-only-real-hero route, then we should have never gotten any additional heroes beyond Ladybug and Chat Noir. Keep Chat Noir as the comedy sidekick and let Ladybug use all of the other miraculous as powerups without ever handing them out.

After all, when it comes down to their actual role in the narrative, most of the team feels like nothing more than a powerup since they basically just do whatever Ladybug tells them to do. Outside of Viperion and Bunnyx, there's no reason why Ladybug can't just dual, triple, or quadruple wield. This is extra true because they took the time to tell us that Marinette is able to wield more miraculous than most people and then... never really did anything with that. Why have a line like this one from Kwamibuster if you're never going to have Marinette do more than the occasional dual wield?

Master Fu: No Miraculous owner in all of history has ever been mentally and physically strong enough to use that many Miraculous at the same time. Wayzz: Marinette truly is special, Master.

Switching from a team back to a duo would also fix the awkwardness of Adrien's writing as that really wasn't a problem back in season one. The hero who does all the cool stuff and their wacky comedy sidekick who keeps things fun is a classic setup for a reason!

[velmashaircut]

I played Caleb's route and myth a while ago and here are my thoughts/ theories/ predictions about him and the story (long af):

I reread my prediction post I made a month ago about Caleb, and I feel bad for painting him as some sort of villain. This man has been through the ringer, I thought the other LI's had it bad, Caleb somehow has it worse, he's been through so much and this is just in one lifetime. I both anticipate and dread his second myth, although the story will be good, it'll also be sad af

His main story branch update was the best of the main story in my opinion. I found it really engaging, not that the other chapters suck or anything. The same goes for his myth story; it felt like a continuation from the main story and the plot of the myth was enjoyable. If you want to understand Caleb and what's going on with him, read his myth! I would say his myth story is one of the best in the game.

MC's emotions and inner conflict were executed perfectly in this story branch. The emotion in MC’s voice when she’s face to face with Caleb was so touching, and the way she hugged him as soon as she could...it was sweet, her VA did a great job depicting her emotions! I really liked seeing MC so overjoyed to see an LI; in her initial meetings with LI’s she's either annoyed or neutral, so seeing her over the moon to be reunited with Caleb was refreshing and just solidified how deep their bond runs. Caleb naturally has an advantage compared to the other LI's in that sense, in this timeline, even if MC doesn't love Caleb, she'll always be warmer to him and he'll be her first choice.

Playing the main story and witnessing MC’s joy to be reunited with Caleb slowly turn into suspicion and eventually morph into frustration and anger was so good to read. The player and MC both bare witness to Caleb's transformation in character and it's heart wrenching to discover, both the MC and player don't fully understand what's going on to cause this switch in behaviour.

The ending for the main story was very solemn; MC failed her mission, Kevi was taken away and Mia died. Her short reunion with Caleb turns bittersweet. I thought that would be the end, but then it was revealed Caleb's been tangled in EVER's schemes and Caleb is making himself look like the perfect weapon to spare MC from this fate - he’s trading his life so she can keep hers. And his myth ending makes this all the more heart wrenching - the chip has taken away most of his memories, and he's doing whatever he can to preserve the memories he has of MC not only to keep his sense of self, but to still resist EVER's control of him.

Despite the lack of transparency and control Caleb exercised over MC’s life, I didn’t think he went too out of line. Caleb seems to believe he needs to amass power to protect MC and himself, Tainted Cuts seems to prove this ideology. Skyhaven is dangerous and Caleb knows it; despite being influential, he can't control over Skyhaven the way Sylus does with the N109 zone, he has to keep MC under lock and key to ensure she's out of harms way. He knows there are people after her, he works for them! He's not safe either. And in the end, Caleb was proven right to keep her under surveillances; MC nearly died twice in Skyhaven. When MC and Caleb get into an argument towards the end of the story, and she says she doesn't need his protection, instead of possession I think he felt more frenzied despair. He knows what lurks ahead, and he knows he can't hide her away forever and protect her from the danger.

...

In my theory post about Caleb, I suggested Caleb orchestrated the explosion, clearly that was not the case. I still think he wasn't clueless about what was going on behind the scenes though, his behaviour was still weird before the explosion. Unlike MC he remembers the past experimentation - I wouldn't be surprised if he was keeping tabs on EVER in case they made a reappearance in their lives. I used to think he didn't like the granny because of this, but I've changed my mind. He arranged for her to be moved to a nursing home that was remote and of good quality, he was remorseful when he told MC he couldn't save her in the explosion. Maybe he grew to forgive her for her past experimentation, or was just glad she gave them a roof over their heads.

I also believe Caleb failed to save Grandma in the explosion because he instead chose to protect MC. That could explain why his necklace was left behind. I also think the explosion was meant to target all three of them, kill the granny and take MC and Caleb back to EVER headquarters, but Caleb somehow managed to prevent them from taking MC. Or they were after MC only and Caleb convinced the raincoats to take him instead. It tracks with Caleb's intentions to have EVER focus on him rather than MC.

My theory post was mainly wrong, but I was right about one thing; Caleb wants to return to a place where it felt as if it was only himself and MC in the world; the secret/ abandoned garden he visits (in his mind?) at the end of his myth. In my post, I speculated this may be a reference to the Garden of Eden due to commissioned fanart of the game representing MC and Caleb with the forbidden fruit. Now I'm not so sure; What does the apple represent for MC and Caleb, their blurring relationship? And what about the serpent? I think it's no coincidence we meet Viper in this branch, who is some sort of snake cyborg...

I've seen speculate that this timeline is the first lifetime Caleb and MC have shared with one another, and as much as I like the theory, I disagree with it. The main reason being this:

I think this is how Caleb dies in the end of his next myth... question is what the hell happened for this to occur.

As well as that, Caleb and MC have the whole Adam and Eve thing going on, 100 years, space/nebula's surrounding their characters... the scene in the main story in which they watch the shooting star...that must link to a different timeline somehow. I personally believe in another lifetime, Caleb was banished from somewhere, maybe the heavens, or was sentenced to death, and MC decided to go down with him. I think this is a nice parallel to their current relationship, MC wants to be in the loop, wants to stand alongside Caleb, but he won't allow her to do so for her own sake, and instead shoulders everything on his own. Maybe he doesn't want to be the reason for her demise again. Whatever it is, like Zayne, I don't think Caleb has any recollection of their shared past.

Also, I believe Caleb surviving multiple instances of near death is no coincidence. He claims its because of MC, he needs to persevere to return to her... a part of me thinks he's being literal. Maybe he's been afflicted with some sort of curse, and he cannot die until MC does, or they are each others life source or something crazy like that.

Last but not least I want to say this: I hate EVER for what they did to Caleb. They have been fucking up his life since day one. Putting that chip in him and making him lose a part of himself was toooo much. I just mourn for Caleb now; he just wanted to fly and protect his loved ones, he was so beloved by those around him, and now he's been turned into a war machine. Free Caleb! If the 6th LI is the EVER ceo I'm throwing hands.

[cidylee]

So, I've been playing Ikemen Sengoku for a bit more than one year (I paused for two or three months but then came back). It's my favorite game among the Ikémen series. I love all the routes, with the exception of one or two being boring. I didn't play all the routes, but I've read one route of every guy. I decided to make a ranking because why not? I just don't remember half of the stories...

I've ranked the guys based on if I love them or not and on how interesting I found their main routes. It's my personal opinion.

I'm doing this ranking mostly for myself, but I'd like to get other people's opinions.

Mitsuhide. Best love interest with the best story. Nothing to add.

2. Yoshimoto. I love him, but not enough romance in his route. At least, the story makes up for it.

3. Ieyasu. I was surprised to love it so much. Good story all along, good love interest. I just didn't like how Mai tried to... I don't know how to say it, English is not my first language. There's just a time where Mai thinks that Ieyasu goes against his convictions but it comes from nowhere. They are not his convictions, but hers.

4. Kicho. He's well ranked because he's my second or third favorite suitor, but his route was not that good? It was slow. After reading all the routes, I was a bit disappointed to not see that Ashikaga Yoshiaki bastard. I wish he was a bit crazier, like in Motonari's route.

5. Kenshin. Better than Kicho's, but I love him less. A good surprise nonetheless. The beginning was really good, but then it got less interesting.

6. Yukimura. Good surprise too. Could be ranked in fifth position. Same thing really, it started strong but got less interesting after a few chapters.

7. Nobunaga. His route is all over the place. It's like the people writing it didn't know what trauma he could have. Interesting nonetheless. It just works somehow.

8. Keiji. I'm not a fan of him. He's definitely not the type of guy I would go after in real life. However, the action made his route interesting and the relation between him and the protagonist was beautifully portrayed. They go well together even if it takes time. Keiji didn't need someone to fix him, but someone to be himself with. Another good point about his route is that it grew better and better.

9. Motonari. He could've been in eighth place, but sometimes you have to make choices. Not a bad route at all. Maybe better than Keiji's? I'm not a fan of him in the... mmh... let's say, first nine or ten chapters. I like his character development. It was slow, but in the end he is good to the protagonist? The story grew better and better. For more than half the route, I just felt it was a one-way friendship. I still don't understand what the protagonist found in Motonori, except for the fact he's hot.

10. Sasuke. This route is really showcasing each guy. I really liked it when we were with the Oda. It grew less interesting when we went with the Usuegi-Takeda. At least there's Yoshimito. Sasuke is really not the star of the show. I like him as a friend, less like a love interest.

11. Kennyo. I liked the beginning with Ranmaru, but then he was less present and it got less interesting. Once the heroine started to spend time with Kennyo, I just thought it was so boring. I understand why he would not show his interest in Mai, but it still was doing nothing for me. By chapter 8 or 9, it got interesting again. I really like his dramatic route. Kennyo is so sweet.

12. Kanetsugu. Good action, I guess? I didn't really like his route to be honest. He's known to be a romantic and he is, it's just didn't work for me.

13. Mitsunari. I don't even remember his route... just that I liked it better than Hideyoshi's.

14. Hideyoshi. I don't remember his route either. In his own route, he's not my kind of guy, but I adore him in the other guys'. I'm thrilled to read his sequel though.

15. Masamune. It was not bad, but I think I continued to play Ikemen Sengoku to at least try Mitsuhide's route. I didn't understand Masamune, but from what I've read on Tumblr, his sequel goes more in depth into his character. I'm currently replaying his route, and I like him more since I can read his POV.

16. Shingen. I like Shingen in the other guys' routes and was excited to finally read his but... it was so boring! I didn't like him and he was portrayed as a too good of a guy. At least, Nobunaga is portrayed with serious flaws that make him more interesting.

[bonearenaofmyskull]

Hi there! I need your thoughts on the Dolce head-sawing scene. I have read different analyses, and the most recent one I read was saying that the reason Hannibal wanted to eat Will was because Will rejected him and eating him is the only way they could be together. Also, some say that he decided to kill Will only after Will tried to stab him. Additionally, was he slowing the process and waiting for someone to show up and stop him? What are your thoughts on this theory?

My thoughts about this can be more or less represented as, Well, yes, kind of, but also not really, and also definitely not. All these pieces are disjointed from the development of the relationship in the context of the season itself, as well as the series as a whole.

First off, I don't think Hannibal was super excited about the decision to eat Will in the first place because the expression on his face when he's talking to Bedelia about it looks pretty sick to his stomach. In the scene itself he has kind of a mournful tone--tender sometimes, cruel others: a little angry, a little bitter, a lot regretful. He talks about it, how he's sorry to be leaving Italy because he would have liked to do some things for himself there, but mostly that he would have liked to show it to Will. So it's not a stretch to believe that Hannibal didn't really want to eat Will very much (except insofar as he's probably curious about eating most people just as a general rule of thumb, and ofc since this is Will eating him would probably be omg so much better than eating anyone, so there is that).

But the decision had been made. After all, he did have the location prepped with a bone saw all ready to go. He made the decision all the way back in "Secondo" when Bedelia helped him draw the connection between how his sister influenced him in ways he could not control to the way that Will influences him in ways he cannot control: from love, to betrayal, and thence into forgiveness. That Will, through his interactions with Chiyoh that reflected Hannibal's interactions with Bedelia, had come to his own version of the same conclusion that Hannibal came to--that each's influence on the other was so sufficiently out of control that the only way to end it was to kill (and in Hannibal's case, eat) the other--was of no particular consequence to Hannibal's choice, at least not in a cause-and-effect fashion.

Thus it is not a rejection on Will's side any more than it is for Hannibal: it is a gesture of their forgiveness. "You dropped your forgiveness, Will," remember? "You forgive how God forgives," he complains, in his usual hypocritical fashion (which Will turns around on him with the comment about God gloating, which of course Hannibal approves of, since they are each God in his mind). This is, God-like, forgiveness through retribution. Seeing it as rejection is far too sane and rational--and certainly far too conventional--for these two delicate creatures. Hannibal eating Will and keeping a part of him inside forever in the Hobbsean style of cannibalism, as he did with his sister, is an acceptance of how important Will is to him. On Will's side of things, choosing to kill Hannibal is the exact same gesture of acceptance: Will cannot reject Hannibal through the choice of killing, of all things, which is exactly what Hannibal influences him to do. As we see later in "Digestivo," Will can only reject Hannibal through choosing not to kill him. What happens in "Dolce" or any other point in time in S3 isn't ever a rejection (including the hug, I might point out)--not as long as Will is playing their zero-sum game. Not as long as violence is involved. Never forget that violence is love and sex and all things in between on Hannibal.

Thus they each must attempt to kill the other simultaneously because they are one, not in spite of it. Bedelia observes that "Will Graham is en route to kill you, while you lie in wait to kill him" as an extension of the conversation about the reciprocity inherent in Hannibal and Will's relationship. Everything they do, they do reciprocally, at least at this point. This is why they can have such a tender meeting below La Primavera before getting down to business: all the deceptions are gone, and they're both seeing each other with not just truly clear eyes, but truly appreciative eyes. They each can see how much they mean to the other just as much as each thinks the only path forward is to subsume the other in order to regain self-control. They each offer the other "understanding and acceptance," Jack explains to Pazzi, right as Hannibal and Will are coming to same conclusion to off each other. Will can no more reject Hannibal in this moment than Hannibal can reject Will because they are the same.

As for whether Hannibal was slowing the meal process to wait for someone to show up and stop him, we have to look at the evidence of both what Hannibal knows and whether what he knows observably influences his choices.

Hannibal may have been able to deduce that Bedelia would give him up to the Polizia just as he would count that she'd give his location to Jack, but he might not have--Bedelia's kind of a wild card in that fashion, and her choice to give him up seems to have been made specifically in exchange for the investigator telling her that he'd let her off the hook for her and Hannibal's crimes in Italy. If she had not been able to solicit that commitment for whatever reason, then there's no reason to think that she'd have betrayed their location. She wouldn't play her card without getting her win. So it seems unlikely to me that that could be something that Hannibal would be able to know confidently one way or another.

Even if he did, it's hard to see it in the scene itself. He does wait for Jack initially, but that's because Jack has an important role to play. Hannibal doesn't seem to be in any particular hurry in the scene even after Jack shows up, but then he never is, so that means nothing in itself. He doesn't really waste any time once Jack is there, either. He incapacitates Jack and drugs him (he needs to do that to ensure Jack will eat), finishes his mise en place while he waits for Jack to become coherent-ish, and then to be fair, it's pretty minimal conversation before breaking out the bone saw. Just a couple minutes. So there's no evidence in the scene itself to suggest delay, and a certain amount of evidence to suggest otherwise. If the show had wanted to demonstrate delay, it would have been prudent to write Jack getting to the table earlier in the episode, and then use their conversation to emphasize the delay, with more than one scene in the episode. They could cut the elevator scene without any significant bearing on the plot. God forbid they speed up a scene with Bedelia in it. xD

But I think the real reason I reject the notion that Hannibal was delaying is because Jack was there. Hannibal is the devil, his punishments are symbolic retribution, the three of them are literally there in Florence acting out their own version of the Inferno. Hannibal may have been eating Will's brain to try to regain his own peace of mind, but he was absolutely involving Jack in the action because Jack deserved it. He played: it's his time to pay. And it isn't like Hannibal to half-ass a murder dinner, especially if he has a guest. How rude that would be!

I think these analyses that you've read tend to fall apart in kind of the same places as a lot of analyses these days, wherein they seem to assume that because the Hannigram relationship is the heart and foremost hook of the show, the only things that are analyzed are the actions of the two men. Where their actions and words don't directly and explicitly explain something, then people fill in the gaps with their own imagination and values, when in fact the other characters' words and actions and the overall context of the show usually explain things pretty clearly. The other characters are important, as is the overall path of the relationship.

[the-bloody-sadist]

please I wanna hear more about your thoughts on sweet pool, it was such an odd vn to me but at the same time i'm so happy I played it

DUUUUUUDE!!!!!! THAT SHIT WAS SO WEIRD!!! (POSITIVE)

Lmfao so first of all, I'm a huge audiophile (and I say that to mean any audio, most of all voices and VA performances and sound design), and JESUS CHRIST THE CAST THEY GOT FOR SWEET POOL????? HELLO??? God, I adore Youji's VA, and I'll never NOT be impressed by his ability to play both the character for Sweet Pool as well as Doumeki in Saezuru wa Tori Habatakanai TO SUCH PINPOINT ACCURACY....

I'll ramble too much if I let myself. But the ART, the MUSIC, the ROUTE CHOICES, the PORTRAYAL OF CHRONIC DEPRESSION, the HALLUCINATIONS, the BODY HORROR...THE PSYCHOLOGICAL THRILLS!!!!!!!!! DAMN!!!!! It just had everything I hoped for, EXCEPT FOR LIKE ONE GOOD ENDING WITH TETSUO. CRIES EXPLOSIVELY. COULD I NOT JUST HAVE ONE. FOR HURT COMFORT'S SAKE.

It's been YEARS since I played that game but damn I was fucked up for weeks after finishing all the Tetsuo routes especially, and Sweet Pool I think was the only Nitro+Chiral game where I liked every character's route and enjoyed playing through them. Makoto a bit less so, but he made up for it in the end because WOW WHAT A BANGER on his bad route.

Again, it was my first Chiral game, so everything I played after was like "oh...this is just a copy of Makoto's type in a new setting. Oh....this is the same outcome as Zhenya with a new face. Oh...Chiral just really likes these tropes and uses them over and over again....okay." BUT HEY, I LIKE THOSE TROPES SO AT LEAST THAT.

I think my favorite part about SP though is, ironically, the fake omegaverse rep. Since I'm such a hater of A/B/O, you'd think I'd hate SP, but it's actually exactly what I'd want instead of the real omegaverse stuff I see. Please miss me with that shit on slick and pregnancy and alpha scenting, I want blood and freaky organisms living in your stomach like parasites and hallucinogens from the weird stalker guy at school. IF ONLY ALL OMEGAVERSE WAS PSYCHOLOGICAL HORROR! AH....SO SAD.

Anyway, Zhenya had my favorite route at the time I played it (I cannot escape the kidnapping trope...Shiki from TnC was why I played TnC and he's my favorite Chiral character aside from Youji....), but looking back, I think all of Tetsuo's are my favorite, now. Once I got over the crippling depression of how sad all the endings were, I remembered how fucking intriguing Tetsuo's character was to me. I really like the types that are freakishly alien with their emotional expression and you never know if they're trying to hurt the MC or harm him until several layers into the story. And even then, you still don't know, because they just come off as creeps either way. It's terrifying.

I think the only element I didn't like was the fact that made the meat babies and whatever ACTUALLY REAL. I didn't want the supernatural shit or the annoying ass priest or whatever he was (I wasn't listening to DOUKA....DOUKA!!! every scene) confirming the reality of what was going on with Youji, I just wanted the psychological insanity and for Youji to actually be experiencing all this because of mental illness. I just hate supernatural or religious shit in my horror, though, so that's my own pickiness.

ANYWAY. OTHER THAN THAT! Sweet Pool will always stand out for me because it was my first, and it truly disturbed me because I didn't know people could make VNs that catered to exactly what I wanted, and at the time I was a baby to yaoi, so imagine my surprise when I discovered there was a whole world of people making the exact content I thought only I wanted to see.

THERE, WAS THAT ENOUGH OF MY THOUGHTS FOR YOU??? YOU'LL NEVER WANT TO HEAR FROM ME AGAIN!!!

[broodwoof]

cole—spirit or human? 

this, like all my meta, is just my personal feelings or interpretation: I am not trying to claim any kind of objective correctness, or to dismiss those who feel otherwise. I remember conversations about cole being somewhat strained so I'm hoping ppl aren't going to be super weird on this post. 

so—cole. I've played both routes and I actually enjoy both of them, but I'm strongly inclined towards making him more of a spirit, and my reasoning comes down to three primary aspects: 1) respecting cole’s autonomy and his choices up to this point, 2) acceptance of an “other” way of being as equally valid to a “human” way of being, and 3) making him more human feels weirdly to me like asking him to replace the real cole in full rather than be himself

1—respecting his autonomy.

cole states early on that he became more of who he was and less human, and that it lets him help. that's a choice he made. on a personal level, even though he's just pixels, I find it deeply uncomfortable to unmake the choice he made about his nature. I understand that he's shown as happy and fulfilled regardless of which path you choose, which is part of why I like both, but this is why I prefer the spirit path: making him more human feels, to me, like the inky is making him more… palatable. or like the game is giving a “comfortable to the player” option. I felt this way when I first played dai when it was new, and I continue to feel this way now

he is happy in both and that's nice, and i like that there's no strong delineation of a right v. wrong choice. at the same time, i've always gotten the sense that cole wants to be more spirit—maybe not because it brings him joy or satisfies him, it could well be that he just believes he will be more useful/functional as a spirit, but even making "bad" decisions (which i don't think this one is, but for the sake of argument) is an individual's right and part of their autonomy

2—acceptance of an “other” way of being as equally valid to a “human” one

in a watsonian, in-text view (which does tend to be my approach), I think it's very important to accept the personhood of spirits, even when they're so fundamentally different. spirit!cole forgets things, can erase negative experiences, etc.—there's a lack of what we'd see as typical growth and maturity going on there, but I'd argue that we can't really effectively apply human (or “mortal” ig, bc elves, dwarves, qunari…) norms to a spirit. 

cole as a spirit of compassion is the way a spirit is supposed to be. the way a spirit is supposed to be is not the way a mortal is supposed to be. and to me, it does feel like his preference throughout the game is to act as a spirit. he stays "pure" and "clean," and that allows him to help without becoming corrupted or changed. it's tempting—and not wrong—to view this through a human lens and to find it unhealthy for him, but i tend to defer to solas' explanations of how spirits are in this case. they can easily be corrupted because they are a Single Thing. that is their nature. wisdom is wisdom; changed by perception, expectation, memory, or pain, it becomes something fundamentally different. spirits are malleable in a way mortals are not

3—replacing the “real” cole 

tbf, this one isn't really supported by anything in game, just a personal discomfort. but he “became” cole after the young man's death. honestly, I find that a little uncomfortable, but I can understand it: the textual “simplicity”/purity of spirits makes sense of that kind of reaction to compassion’s “failure,” its inability to help the real cole (according to its own standards where help=fix: it did help the real cole by being there) 

so, to me, it reads a little like you're confirming that direction when you have cole become more human. ik it's not presented that way, but yeah, personally just makes me uncomfortable bc it feels like I'm encouraging cole to view himself as a replacement of the real cole 

spirits can come back, but they are the sentiment that gave rise to it in the first place, not the individual being itself. compassion taking on cole's name in the first place feels like that to me, but becoming more human feels like it's taking it a step too far. bc then cole becomes a young man who's taken on the face and name of a dead man and it's… it's a lot. for him to grapple with down the line, for the people around him, for everyone. but as a spirit, that kind of behavior feels more like a way of recognizing and respecting the being that came before 

and of course, cole isn't 100% either—he's more human or more spirit. so it's fair to say that it'd still be a sign of respect and acknowledgement of the real cole even if he becomes more human, it doesn't turn automatically into a Bad Thing, and the complexity can honestly be fascinating to explore, bc i imagine as more-human he will develop some complex feelings about all of it

[theheartmold]

Kyr Farwhisper - The Dark Urge

"Everyone has unseemly thoughts. Being able to quieten them is what sets us apart from the beasts."

Sharing some screenshots from my Dark Urge playthrough, which has just about hit 21 hours. BE WARNED. EVERYTHING BELOW THE READ-MORE LINE IS SPOILERS FOR THE DARK URGE PLAYTHROUGH. There is spoiler content, gore, and violence beyond! I tag with "#durge spoilers" if you want to block.

[Narrator: *You have nothing in your skull, besides your name and a headache. But you are in danger.*

Curse whoever did this to you.

Say your name aloud. You have a part of yourself.

Take a deep breath, shake your head, and start anew.]

The Dark Urge, in my opinion, is an origin that is preferable even to the custom ones that a player can make. Like the origins we get from the other PCs, such as Shadowheart or Astarion, there are custom cutscenes, content, and dialogue options specifically tailored to the Haunted past that you bring to the party. The Dark Urge isn't a play-through I would recommend if you want the feeling of a Noble, Righteous Hero. In some ways, it can be very stereotypically "edgelord"; you have little memory of your past, and are prone to violent and grotesque proclivities.

I suppose if you wanted to truly run an evil route and see how many dear companions you could kill along the way, you could play this route as Indulgent, or giving into the Dark Urge. I chose to play Kyr as a hopeless struggle; he is frightened by himself, and does his best to resist his dark temptations and try to do good. Resistance. It's made for a delightfully fulfilling roleplay experience, especially because I have chosen to romance Wyll on this play-through.

Even recruiting Astarion can be a little frightening.

The intro runs about the same, except when you wake up on the Nautiloid, you are bloodied, frightened, and have no memory of how you got there. In fact, there are no real signs that there is anything wrong with you, at least not in the dialogue you get until after the crash. Everyone's a little nervous, on edge, and then you have the chance to recruit Gale from his little portal. If you give into the Urge... it goes poorly. Fantasize about chopping his hand off?

I didn't make this canon for Kyr's run, but I was curious what would happen. I don't know what becomes of Gale, if you can recruit him later--if you can, how strange. You did just remove his hand for seemingly no reason. Astarion, too, has something to say about it immediately after.

This is your first sign that the Dark Urge run is going to be, well.. full of dark urges. Kyr seems to have a strange and compelling urge to commit harmful, violent acts--but doesn't seem to be aware he's doing it. I went back and he recruited Gale normally, resisting the weird desire to fantasize about chopping a man's hand off. Things were quiet--for a little bit.

Lots of dialogue choices specialized for the Dark Urge present in one of two, maybe three ways--commit this horrible act, or be shocked by your perversions and resist. Along with all of the usual options, such as based around your skill checks and your class. You have fewer culture rolls--you don't remember your past, after all (but you can imply to be Baldurian later on in Wyll's conversations, which I did). The lack of backstory and the amnesia is meant to heighten the strange horror of your situation, but I like building on what Kyr could be missing. A father, maybe, and a mother he never knew.

You can even tell Withers that you don't think your life is worth very much--something that he has a sage rebuke for. It's implied that he might know a little bit more about your circumstances than he's letting on, but if he does, he doesn't deem it fit to share with you.

Back at the camp, you do have options to speak with your party members--even so early--about your concerning affliction. Two new choices are available to you: concern about your memory loss, and concern about your violent urges. So early in the game, I decided I would start to bring up the memory loss. They are... quite flippant! And quick to dismiss your concerns on having to do with the mind-flayer tadpole.

It's late, and I'm getting sleepy, so that's all I'll add for this post. More is to come.

Part 1 | Part 2

[raven-at-the-writing-desk]

Personal opinion but I feel quite a let down when Vil's new SSR card is just a bonus card for Jamil's hometown event, even if they made a slight change to the story to include him?? The last Vil's event SSR card is Halloween part 1 which to be fair all 3 SSR cards were barely focused or main character-ish. So I was expecting for a Vil focused event, like hometown or anything that would give him the spotlight more... So yeah, quite a let down, and the card doesn't even have a vignette. Guestroom furnitures are cool, but I still prefer vignettes 😔

[Referencing this post!]

Mmm, I think the thing with the first Halloween event is that the three featured SSRs did play a somewhat more significant role than the others, but they were also bogged down by having to compete with EVERY other main cast student, NRC Staff, and even the Ramshackle Ghosts also appearing in the event. (If I remember correctly, it was Cater who informed everyone about the Magicam Monsters, Jade who encouraged everyone to fight back using scare tactics, and Vil who headed the Halloween planning committee.) Considering all of this, I get why the importance of Vil's first event SSR may have seemed to be minimized. It felt like a mainly “Cater” event of the SSR trio. I do think Vil is an odd choice to give a SSR for Jamil's hometown event of all things 😅 I mean, it has been years since Vil last got an event SSR, but in terms of context this just seems... out of nowhere?

I guess Vil can technically be easily thrown in with the excuse of "oh, he's there on an acting/modeling gig", but then that would work for any event?? And it isn't really justified with a change in the story either (it sounds like it will be 100% the same; Vil doesn't even come with vignettes but with furniture recipes so we won't ever formally get an explanation for why he's in Yasmina Silk). It's a CRIME that Vil won't get to hang out with best girl Najma 😭 LET THEM TEASE JAMIL TOGETHER-- I would have thought the natural new SSR to come for this event would be Kalim (who already has a presence in the event, but not a new outfit, so you wouldn't even have to write much new dialogue for him; this would be similar to what was done for SSR Suitor Suit Idia and SR Suitor Suit Lilia). Even Lilia would work, as he was originally intended to go with Malleus as his +1 (although this route would have warranted considerable new chunks of story to incorporate Lilia into the narrative). Like… are those two not the Obvious Choices???

Maybe I just feel this way because I prefer story and character to how something looks (although nice aesthetics are always a bonus)?? Honestly, I don't really care for decorating the Guest Room or making furniture, I find it very annoying and time-consuming to gather the materials especially since you usually can't auto the Extra battles and the Guest Room isn't all that interactive anyway 😂 I also just don’t see a point in releasing a new card when there’s no story at all associated with it??? That’s probably why Yasmine Silk Vil and his lack of event presence seems more egregious to me... It is what it is, unfortunately 💦 I'm sure there are people who love decorating and are excited that Vil is finally getting a new (non-obligatory, non-birthday) card regardless. I'm happy for them and hope that they enjoy him when he releases!

[sweet-cynical-writer]

Can I request a Chuuya X Fem!Reader with prompt 10 with the flower lilacs?

Author's Note: Hello again~! Thank you for requesting & I hope you enjoy this fluffy event!

Prompt 10: "Opposites attract when two characters pretend to be dating and fall in love!"

Chuuya x Fem! Reader + Lilacs

Word count: 1,338

The two of you somehow got roped into quite the mess. Mutual friends of yours were both dating someone and both of you were constantly invited on couples dates. Of course this wouldn't be an issue if the two of you had partners. But you didn't. So, to save yourselves face, you and Chuuya agreed to pretend to date.

He waited for her at the door after ringing the doorbell. She emerged in a sleek, elegant light purple dress. “What do you think, Chuuya?” Her hair was down in soft wavy curls that framed her face in a flattering way.

Chuuya had to clear his throat and fix his jacket. “Yeah, it's very convincing. Come on, we'll be late.” He didn't really give much response since they weren't really dating. This was all a front to just keep their friends from teasing them.

She was used to this of course. It didn't hurt her in the slightest the way he would give her short and cold answers.

They had dinner and it went perfect as planned. Chuuya was a completely different man when he was pretending to be in love with her. Stealing kisses from her lips and holding her close to him when they sat next to each other.

They had their friends completely fooled. “You two are so smitten, I must admit I'm a little jealous!” One of the friends would laugh and playfully nudge their partner.

It would all go back to normal when they parted ways. “How much longer do we really need to keep this going?” She sighed when Chuuya took her back home.

“Look, I'm still trying to find someone then we could go over the whole breakup phase. Are you sure you don't want to find another guy? It might look weird if you don't at least have someone to fall back on.”

She had the same reaction every time Chuuya would bring the subject up. “No way. I'm happy being single anyway. I just can't wait for this to end so I can focus on me again.”

Chuuya would shrug his shoulders and leave it at that. “If you say so.”

There would be times that Chuuya would gift her flowers, edible arrangements, and even doves holding love letters. They made it painfully obvious how much they doted on each other.

It was easy for them to play it up then walk away. Little did both of them know, that even if they were pretending to be in love, Chuuya was catching some feelings even when they weren't around their friends.

She didn't pick up on it at first. Chuuya would brush her hair behind her ear. She would look around, expecting their friends to be around to witness it but there was no one.

“I can fix my own hair you know,” She didn't understand why he was suddenly being so voluntarily soft around her.

“I saw a leaf in your hair, that's all. It was bothering me.” He turned away from her and his ears would feel hot. Even Chuuya was questioning his own choice of actions.

The two of you would walk the same route along the park and Chuuya's hand brushed against hers. Instinctively, he grasped her hand in his.

“Chuuya?” She turned her gaze toward him, confused. “No one is around. You don't have to hold my hand. We're just here to take photos to post on our social media, remember?”

He let go of her hand and brought it up to fix his hat. “Of course! I just thought you were trying to hold my hand, that's why I grabbed yours.” Again, he couldn't bring himself to look at her.

Though, she was thankful for him not looking at her since that interaction even made her blush a little. She shook her head trying to brush off her silly feelings for Chuuya. They weren't real.

The two of them took a photo on a bench with the trees and a small pond in the background. “Wow, your hair flowed flawlessly with the wind before you snapped the photo.” Then Chuuya coughed with a slight tut. “Cause you know, it's good for people to see you at your best if we're going to be a convincing couple.”

“Yeah, yeah.. because we're just pretending to date, right? This isn't serious or anything.” She would laugh and shrug it off. But something in her weighed heavily on her chest. A small part of her didn't really want it to be fake.

They ended up walking back together and she turned to say goodbye like usual when they parted ways. Except she wasn't really anticipating for Chuuya to embrace her out of the blue.

“Chuuya—” She tried to protest but Chuuya tightened his grip around her. “Shut up.. I just wanted a hug. You know. To just… reinforce our performance. It feels like you've been pulling away and I want to make sure they don't find out we're faking you know?”

It was a little odd, but she humored him anyway with the hug. Her heart was racing and it didn't help with Chuuya's body being flush to hers. It felt different from all the times they pretended in front of their friends. This felt… real.

When Chuuya finally pulled away, he quickly turned and walked away. “See you tomorrow.”

That night, as she lay in bed, staring up at the ceiling, she couldn't get Chuuya out of her head. Was she actually starting to fall for him? Did he reciprocate those same feelings?

You asked to meet up with Chuuya early before the double date. When he showed up with a puzzled look, you took the initiative to grasp him by the collar of his shirt and pull him close. “Look me in the eyes and tell me the truth, Chuuya. Why have you been acting all out of sorts lately?”

It took him by surprise because, first of all, she wasn't typically assertive like this. Also, with her face being so close to his, it had him blushing furiously. He had to firmly pull away to take a moment to gather himself.

“It's nothing. I just wanted us to stay on the same page.” He tried to sweep it under the rug, but she wasn't having it.

“You're a terrible liar. Spit it out Chuuya.” She crossed her arms over her chest. “Are you developing feelings for me?”

He felt like his heart was in his throat as he swallowed hard. “Well..” He trailed off then gritted his teeth. “Okay fine! So what if I am a little attracted to you? I even stopped looking for someone else because there's no one like you.”

This came to her as a big shock. Even if she had a hunch he developed feelings for her, she wasn't expecting her guess to be correct. And even more, he stopped looking for someone because of her?!

“Really..?” She felt her face heat up. It was so much to process that she just left Chuuya hanging there for her response.

“Well? Don't keep me waiting! Do you feel the same way? Or even just a little bit?” It was killing him on the inside. Deep down, Chuuya wasn't one to express emotions that made him vulnerable.

She bit her lip then opened her mouth to speak in a low voice. “Maybe.. a little.” Her cheeks were burning up and Chuuya could see it clear as day.

“Just a little? Your flushed cheeks tell me otherwise.” Chuuya approached her face to face. His hand cupped her cheek and it became too much for her to deny it anymore.

“O-okay yes. I do like you. But this was supposed to be temporary.. I mean..” She didn't really know what to say. He tilted her chin to look at him. “Is it so bad that our fake relationship is becoming a real one?”

She laughed with a smile and pressed her forehead to his. “I suppose not. Let's give it a try… for real this time.”

[caernua]

PLEASE drop the Arcana opinions

WHY THANK YOU FOR INDULGING ME ANON i will drop some of my hot takes

under the cut bc i went a lil crazy and this is very long (sorry)

i don't really like how much they sanitized the game, i feel like they just made an effort to make everyone much much nicer and agreeable than they initially were especially in the prologue, which is okay (don't get me wrong we love positivity and growth), but at the same time there were moments where i felt like. it was a lil much and a little juvenile. like... it's okay for the main cast to have dislikes between eachother and i was kinda feeling like they eliminated that at one point? it was okay for asra and julian to be bitter, it was okay for nadia to be more hard-hearted and commanding. it was okay for lucio to be liked by his people and not the butt of every joke, it got to a point where he's not believable as a villain or a threat (but tbf muriel's route kinda fixed that) and i definitely think they did that bc of the backlash. a lot of people were saying asra is shady and toxic to julian and nadia is too commanding but ... so what? they looked sexie while doing it so what's the problem??? oh and come to think of it the magic system kinda played into that? i'm not a huge fan of the magic system in the arcana it's very wishy washy and oh everyone can do magic now actually it's within ✨all of us✨. i think it's just not well done

i actually think the earlier chapters and the prologue are overall much better than the last few ones for the main 3 and that includes the cgs. the first few cgs are so beautiful??? the later ones look so weird and uncanny to me?????? i know they had different artists on the team obviously and i think the earlier cgs i'm referring to were moreso done by dana rune and veronica liwski (who by the way deleted their artstation. wild. this is what i mean when i say this is a WASTELAND) and it's a shame how little that is out of the full no. of cgs. dana rune the way you draw asra aaaaaaaaa

i think the way they went about the endings is so, so CLEVER. the choices you have to make are quite subtle, i remember we were wracking our brains as the chapters were coming out to discover what exactly were the good/bad choices and what they could lead to. i like that some of those choices are so subtle that they're pretty much impossible to catch. (for instance. in lucio's first chapter when he tells you to hurry up with the spell you can reply with 'shush/be patient.' those answers are almost the same but they lead to two different endings!!! wild!!) and i think there's a very good balance between 'hard to catch' and 'pretty obvious' choices! and the fact that they went about creating bittersweet endings rather than 'bad' endings is wonderful. i think it's ten times more impactful to have an ending where yes, you are with you love interest and all is well, but not quite. that gnawing feeling of 'what did i do wrong?' sticks to you and urges you to analyze the main characters and it's such good characterization!! i just adore how they went about the endings, it's not too obvious, not too subtle, not too heartbreaking, not too drastic, it's just RIGHT!

i'm really gonna try not to make this next one a novel but asra's route is one of the most beautifully told, gut-wrenching, soul-crushing, utterly devastasting love stories i came across in any media ever. i'm moreso referring to the set-up itself so the prologue + the earlier chapters + everything that happened beforehand. i think his route is underrated just in the sense that. the prologue itself is comically superior when it comes to asra's route, and yea that's bc he's the only one the mc has a preestablished relationship with. but UGH! the fountain scene is probably my fave scene in the game, i love how they mirrored it later on with the roles reversed, it was PERFECTION. they said 'let's take idiots in love' but make it actually make sense and a tragedy. and let's make it the most devastating reason we can think of. it's amazing. the pining, the heartache, the suffering. the mystery being revealed to you little by little (because otherwise the mc goes catatonic, so asra has to be patient, patient, patient) and being flooded by the questions of what were they like before all this?? so interesting to think about. i think it's very important in games like these to stimulate the player into trying to think of a backstory and let their creative juices flow and asra's route does that so well! paradoxically it's also true that they take some of your freedom away as a player because you do find out that there's a bit of history there whatever route you are playing but. the fact that it hardly matters bc he loves mc so much that he would never take their freedom away is amazing. just realizing the amount of love he has for mc, the restraint he has had all those years and how painful it must have been, holy shit. GUT-WRENCHING!! this is why everytime i play another route the second asra shows up and says something even remotely tied to the past i gotta close that route and go back to him kfdhgkjfhdg. this quote in lucio's route is particularly making me scream shit vomit: 'he looked like my first memories of him. kind, but weary, and so very sad.' bitch what the FUUUUUCK

and just. the vibes and the writing of this route overall hoooo bitch. 'why must he go where i can't follow?' 'do i remember? how could i ever forget? i love him, i have to tell him, even if it kills me'. when they kiss for the first time and asra doesn't even dare move because he has held back for so long, and he's physically shaking (bitch me too the fuck). 'i feel it radiating off of him. i want you. i need you. i miss you so much' that insane orpheus and eurydice parallel in the early chapters which also serves as foreshadowing!!! 'i dug until my fingers bled'. 'i try to stay away from you but my heart keeps pulling me back' THE WHOLE DREAMS AS A VESSEL BETWEEN LOVERS TROPE (this shit kills me personally everytime) 'everyday my love for you grows brighter and brighter until it consumes me'. just. this idea of 'a thousand life-altering things happened to part us, but even when i have no idea who you are, i will sooner or later fall in love with you, simply because you are you and i am me and it's bound to be like this, you are my home and i am yours'. INJECT ITTTTTTTTTTTTTTTT 💉💉💉 I PLAYED THIS GAME WHEN I WAS 19, NOW I'M ALMOST 25 AND I'M STILL READING HIS ROUTE CRYING SHITTING THROWING UP AND KICKING MY LEGS IN THE AIR. i'll be a senile 90 year old lady in the old folks' home playing this stupid mobile game on my home crying and thinking 'damn bitch i need to get myself a gemini like that what the fuck'

not that it's a hot take but dorian sucks ass

[jhilsara]

It's totally up to you if you want to put up the notes! I think it would be cool but no pressure. Same anon who asked about Tie me to You <3

Also, do you plan on doing Sam's route since he's cannon? You may have already established this but I don't remember.

I've actually been waiting for someone to ask n*v*

Putting it under a read more, but fair warning this is probably filled with typos. It's also not finished, but I'm still working it and anything can change.

I'm writing for Sam's romance, cause I'm bias and it's canon. :p

SMtO- rewrite/AU

This first half is what I have written for Chapter 3.

3. 

Mika feels like a train hit her when she wakes up. She’s groggy and her heads fuzzy. She opens her eyes and is confused she isn’t in her bedroom. She realizes she’s in her grandfather’s room and the events from yesterday hit her hard and fast.  

The funeral, the lawyers, her father…how her father hit her. She remembers falling asleep on the couch after coming in but she doesn’t remember going to the bedroom.  

She must have just woken up in the middle of night, probably after that strange stress induced dream. 

She rubs her forehead and pulls her hair back, she’s still thinking about the dream. Why would she dream about five strange men who were sex demons? It’s so out of left field. It felt so real too.  

She tries to will it away from her head, as she flops back down onto the bed. As she stares up at the ceiling she does realize she’s in her grandfather’s room…with all of his possessions and clothes. 

God, the bed hasn’t even been changed probably from when he last slept in it.  

Tears are brimming at the edge of Mika’s eyes. She’s so tired of crying. The emptiness in her heart overwhelms her. She stares at the ceiling fan above her head spin and tries to not think about the missing piece she feels in her heart. She tries to go back to sleep.  

Then a soft knocking at her door has her rapt attention. Mika’s eyes are wide as she looks towards the door and her heart beats wildly in fear.  

“Can I come in?” a soft male voice comes from the other side of the door. 

She panics for a moment her body seizes up. The men from her dream were not a dream at all. It was real, and a demon was at her door… a very polite demon.  

She doesn’t know what to do as her brain runs through a million different scenarios.  

“I’m not going to use my powers, I just wanted you to know we’ve made breakfast for you.” He tells her softly.  

She releases a breath she was holding in before letting her guard down, “Come in.”  

The door slowly cracks open and Damien peaks his head in and keeps a respectable distance away from her.  

Her brain is running different questions through her head. She doesn’t even know which one to ask first. Or if she should at all.  

Before she can keep spiraling in her head Damien speaks up, “I can answer all of your questions. Everything last night was real and we are incubi. We will not use our powers on you again, it was uncalled for last night. I can unfortunately read minds and that doesn’t turn off. I wish it did. We all went to our rooms after putting you to bed. The entryway has been cleaned and there is no more blood. If you want us too, we will leave.”  

Damien’s is soft-spoken but clear and direct in his words. Mika appreciates it.  

He just unloaded a lot of information for her and she sits in the bed, playing with the covers, trying to process it all. Damien waits by the door patiently, knowing that she’s in deep thought. 

She takes a deep breath and looks up at him, “I… against my better judgement, want you guys to stay here. I don’t want to change that my grandpa gave you a home. I’ll stand by his choices, but I need everyone to take care of this place. Chores and jobs. Like help for paying any bills and groceries. Also, if powers get used I need to be warned and absolutely no more kissing me without my explicit consent. I don’t like feeling that I don’t have a choice with my body.”  

She’s clutches the bedding so tight her knuckles are white as she tells him this. She doesn’t know how he’ll react and that’s scary enough.  

“We can do that.” He tells her in a soft voice.  

She just nods to him in acknowledgement.  

“If you want, we made breakfast. If not feel free to come downstairs when you like. We can sit together for lunch to go over your expectations for us.”  

She gives him a small smile and Damien leaves her be.  

Mika doesn’t get up to go eat, instead just stays in bed. She also wants to crawl out of the bed because it feels gross to her mentally. It makes her stomach churn.  

She can’t look around the room without knowing all of his belongings surround her.  

She squeezes her eyes shut trying to block out the heavy thoughts. Her heads pounding and all she wants to do is sleep.  

Mika goes in and out of consciousness for an unmeasurable amount of time. It’s not a refreshing sleep. She tosses and turns and finds herself waking up from nightmares that have her sobbing.  

The noises she makes are gut wrenching.  

When she finally decides its time to crawl out it’s roughly one in the afternoon. Dragging herself into the bathroom to shower takes a lot of her little energy.  

When she finally makes it downstairs she hears murmurs of conversations. 

It's dinner and they are all in the dinning room and it’s a w k w a r d. 

Damien leads them in  the right direction.  

“So, if we’re all going to live together we need house rules. MC owns the home know so she should set her boundaries first.”  Erik Matthew, and Damien give her their full attention. Sam and James couldn’t side eye her more.  “I’m asking for very little. Before we get into living together I need to know why you all were covered in blood and beaten to hell.”  Boys all side eye each other.  “We were on our way back here and some, unsavory territorial devils found us. We were already running low on energy.” James  She just assumes they mean other demons-not understanding devils are different. Or assuming James is using a turn of phrase.   “They won’t try to find you, will they?” MC  “If they did we’ll kill them.” Sam grunts   Damien sighs, “This home is protected and so are you. Don’t worry about it.”   “Okay…well besides that, right now, I’m just trying to adjust to the house and grandpas passing…I just want help around the house with chores and that you guys have jobs to help with the house. I’m getting my degree right now and working part time too. I would like everyone to contribute. I would also like not having incubus powers being used on me or I will throw you out the god damn window.”   Erik who was on edge with her at first. Drops his guard for a moment. “That seems reasonable. Most of us are used to doing work around the house for your Grandpa.”  Sam just stays quiet arms crossed as the other brother nod in agreement.   “Okay…What about you guys? You’ve been here for a while is there anything you don’t want me or that you need me to do?” MC  Sam quirks his brow   “Stay out of our rooms. We will never enter yours unless you ask us to so please respect that as well for us.” James  “What will you do around the house if we have chores?” Sam   “I thought we could just make a chore chart and we can pick at least one we like.” MC  “Oh! I love that idea! I hate doing the laundry but can-do dishes all day long.” Matthew  “Okay then let’s make a chart and we’ll all have chores. We can all go grocery shopping together too if you want. I know the fridge is pretty empty right now.” Damien   Sam scoffs but his stomach growls in protest  MC cracks a smile for the first time  “Yea we should do that. Grandpa had a minivan that can fit all of us. I’m driving though.”  

First week goes by with little events in the home. MC going to school, work and home.  

She interacts the most with Damien and Matthew. Erik, James, and Sam keep their distance. Air of distrust.  

The interactions she has had with either 3 boys haven’t been… great. 

Erik gave her less then stellar critics on her doing laundry. Demanding he handle the more delicate items.  

James half the time is in her grandfathers’ private study or cooking. She doesn’t want to disturb him but she needs in that study. She has to go through some of her grandpas’ stuff. She doesn’t want to do that with James there though.  

The last time she paced by the room to check if he was still there he called her out.  

Sam is… the most evasive one. She doesn’t see him a lot. She thinks she saw him sneaking onto the roof once. So, he probably hides up there.  

When she does interact with him it’s always setting off a bomb.  

She ran into him, literally, as he was coming around the corner. Making her drop what she had in her hands.   He helped her pick it up but not without commentary.  “Watch where you’re going. What a klutz. Humans are so oblivious.”   “…You also didn’t see me.”   Sam glares at him and shoves her belongings in her hands and storms off.  

He also glares at her… a lot. When they have dinners or lunches together he tends to either selectively only talk to his brothers, or glare at her.  

Damien said to not worry about it… she doesn’t know if she should believe that or not. 

Most of the boys are out of the house and Erik comes across MC cleaning some of her grandfathers’ things in the study. She’s crying. 

He bristles… He’s been cold to her so he’s not sure how to comfort her. But his mother hen personality steps in.   He knocks before he enters, so he doesn’t scare her.   “You okay love?” He asks and gets eye level with her like he would a child.   She’s at the desk with scrapbooks and journals spread out.   She just shakes her head no. She can’t talk. Her body is shaking.   “Can I hug you? So, you’ll calm down to talk.” He asks her.  She nods yes and grips onto him. Sobbing into his shoulder. He rubs circles into her back. Now he feels like a dick for the past week.  Once she calms down she talks to him.   She’s rubbing at her eyes aggressively, “Sorry- I just. I didn’t expect going through his stuff to be this hard.”   He pats her back and looks at the items on the table.   It’s filled with scrapbooks of her as a kid and personal journal from Howard describing his estranged relationship with his own son and now granddaughter.   There’s also notes on his magic.   “Do you want to talk about it?” Erik  “He… he really really loved me. My dad,” she chokes for a second. “My dad’s not great. He hated grandpa. Kept me away for a long time until I could drive myself and just started visiting him. He was so excited for me to come around.”   “He talked about you a lot. Howard did.”   She looks up at Erik tearing up again.   “He would brag on you, like all the time.” He laughs, “I think he wanted to introduce us to you but couldn’t find a way to explain the 5 of us living with him.”  She nods.  “I just,” she sighs. “I just thought I’d get more time with him. I don’t understand what half of this stuff is and I know he would have told me eventually about magic and what he knows. I just… I have to figure this all out on my own now.”   “Not alone. We’ll help you.” Erik  She scoffs. “Yeah well Damien, Matthew, and you will. I don’t think James or Sam are fond of me at all, or even my existence.” She pulls her hair back.  Erik sighs, “They aren’t- well, we aren’t used to humans. None the less humans who seem to carry empathy.”  “The demon worlds not like that?”   He bristles, “It is. It’s different. Our lives, our father… well he’s a real monster.”   MC doesn’t pry but is insanely curious.   “We left a terrible place where people always were trying to use one of us to gain power. So, we’ve all acclimated to distrusting people first. Your grandfather was a first. He talked about you a lot but none of us had met you. So, you’re this odd bridge between us and Howard… but no one knows how to navigate it.” Erik  “You guys feel like that. You knew my grandpa… and I, I didn’t really get to.”   “It’s not your fault though. I think that’s were James and Sam are confused. They assume you never wanted to be around Howard. I did too… but this-” he gestures at her looking through everything. “It’s evident you care.”  Erik  “Is that why James has been territorial over this room?”   He laughs, “Probably. I’ll talk to him. Sam’s a different story though. He’s like a hit dog. He’ll bite you before he realizes your safe.” Erik  She slumps a little. “Gee that sounds great.”   “You’ve already met his energy… just keep doing what you’re doing. He’ll come around.” Erik 

After the interaction with Erik, James observes her. She can feel his critical eye and it puts her on edge. He hasn’t talked to her much and this behavior lasts a week. 

She’ll be lounging on the couch, on her phone, looking through her grandpas’ photobooks, and she just feels the calculating stare from a distance.  

Surprisingly Sam points it out during dinner one night. 

“James stop creeping her out. Staring her down won’t tell you everything you need to know. It’s weird.” Sam   “Oh, and you’re not constantly glaring?” James  “… that’s my resting face dick.” Sam  “…” Mc awkwardly acting like she can’t hear them whisper fighting.  “Why don’t you both just talk to her?” Erik   “…” “…” 

James finally talks to her, while she’s gardening.  

He sits next to her outside and puts on some gloves to help.   “Sorry about… well behaving like I have.” James  She quirks a brow, “Oh? What changed?”   “Erik told me about you in the study. It’s clear you’re grieving like we are. It was just overwhelming and out of our control with Howard dying and then you showing up.” James  “Well, to be honest I wasn’t planning to live here for a while. Or go through Grandpa’s things so soon.” She pulls a weed aggressively.   “What happened if you don’t mind me asking?” James  She sighs and pulls aggressively again, “My dad’s a dick. He was mad that Grandpa left me everything…including the company. Which, he always said it was the plan for me to go into the family business.” She scoffs. “The second he hears that he gets nothing from a man he never even talked too! I’m the bad guy!” She stops pulling weeds and rubs her face. “He made us bury grandpa almost immediately and had the shortest funeral service. Then when his attorney came and told us he left me everything, he got so mad. We got into a yelling match and he hit me. So, I left.” MC  “He hit you?” James   She can feel the spike in anger from him.   She just nods and goes back to trying to plant her bulbs.   “…I don’t know a lot about your family. I just know Howard always talked about you. Your father sounds like a foul man, and if he can’t see he made this hole he’s in, you’re better off without him.” James tells her.   “Thanks… I just- I don’t even know if I want this company. I’m getting a business degree but I don’t want one. I hate it…”   “What do you think your grandfather would tell you?” James   She sighs, “I know what he would tell me. He wants me to follow my heart… I don’t even know what my heart wants.”   James smiles, “What a very Howard thing to say.”   She laughs, “Yea just like him huh?”   “You don’t need to know what your heart wants yet. If you know you don’t want the company then don’t take it. You have time to figure out your life.” James  “If I don’t take it my dad will flip. It would also go to him, but he wants to keep it in the family. Our legacy. I can’t escape it.”   “…What if I did it?” James  She eyes him. “Really?”   “Howard talked to be about it all the time. Honestly human work sounds so much easier than what I was doing before. You also have let me and brothers keep our lives in this home. It’s a way I can give back to you and him. I can take care of your grandfathers’ legacy.” James   She sighs, “I’d actually love nothing more than to do that… We’d have to go through a process though. And announcement.”   “We can do that. It doesn’t have to be now. When do they expect you in the office?” James asks.  “After I graduate in a month…”   “Then we’ll do it before graduation.” James   “What do I do though? I’m just gonna have a business degree I don’t want…” MC  “You could-” James gently grabs a bulb to plant next to hers, “look at majors at your school that interest you. Get a different degree, something you like.”   “… I did get great scholarships for this degree. I don’t have a big student loan. I only had to take out $10,000.” She hums in thought.   “Don’t worry about the money. Your grandfather left you a lot and I can pay for it. Just find something you think your grandfather would know you’re happy with.” James  Her eyebrows raise. “Why would you do that for me?”   He shrugs, “I’m repaying my debts… besides, it’s what Harold would want for you.”   She turns her head away rubbing tears away, “Thank you James.”  

She’s bonded with all the boys in one way, except Sam.  

Like I said it's just notes for where I want to go with it. If you want more please let me know I will happily provide it. n*v*

[codradin]

It's been a long day for a lot of reasons, and a long couple weeks for every more reasons. Guess I decided to vent it all into my take on a creepy pasta.

TW: FIRE, DEATH IMAGERY

I've always loved pokemon. Course I have, it's a massive franchise. Probably will be one of the biggest in the world some day, even with only a few games out.

Smoldering Silver

I don't really remember a lot--it's never really been a bother, though. I just go to school, forget it, and come home to play pokemon. Nothing else really matters. It's almost nice--every playthrough is fresh.

I know I've played red and blue to heck and back--but I do own silver, too.

I've been meaning to play it. Maybe I have. Doesnt really matter.

I decide to pop it in the old Gameboy one school day, sitting in my dirty room on my bed. It's very warm out today, even inside, but what're you gonna do.

I turn it on, excited, faintly surprised to see no save file. Maybe I keep forgetting to play it. Whoops.

Oh well! New adventure starts now.

Professor Oak talks to me, tells me my name is Red, which is a little odd--isn't that the red and blue protagonist? Maybe they brought him back for a new adventure. That's fun. I liked Red.

I never liked Blue, though. He was always mean to red. I didn't get it. It made me scared.

Oak goes to release me on my journey, before the game seems to freeze, audio pausing.

Eh? Did the game freeze already? I know red and blue were kinda funky sometimes, but--

The Gameboy let's out a horrific scream, a human scream, and I jump as Oaks face seems to melt--

I panic turn off the Gameboy, heart racing. What the heck?-

I stare at the dead screen, confused and scared, but so unbearably curious at the same time. That's not normal, I know that.

I slowly turn the Gameboy back on.

No intro plays--the game boots up, and reds sprite is standing in a new town, a town I don't recognize, but that's not super surprising.

I amble up to the biggest house in town, a nice tune playing. There's a different sprite staring into the side of the building. Oh, like the guy outside my window! Okay.

I walk into the big building, and get to choose a pokemon! Exciting!

The choices are new and different, especially considering I've apparently never played this, so this'll be cool.

I've never liked fire types, though.

I go with Chikorita. Silly little guy.

I accidentally forget to name them, but when I go to examine my new friend, they already have a name.

Chrysanthemums? That's a big word I don't know. It's silly. I'll call her Chrys.

I walk outside the lab after being told something or other, I dunno, it doesn't really matter.

The man in the window is still there, and I look at his sprite a little more closely.

It's all monochrome, so colors are a little weird, but they seemed "tall", with a yellow hat and beige clothes, something covering their face, and in the low quality pixels, it's hard to tell what they're holding in their hands, but it's long and straight.

Huh. Thats a funny character design.

I take Chrys and go out onto the first route! I destroy some silly rats and birds, considering I have no pokeballs, but that's okay.

The first town I enter seems normal. I heal up, I talk to an old man, but his dialogue is kinda weird.

"I don't think they meant it to go this far."

What?

Man, my game is corrupted as heck, isn't it? I wonder what happened.

Oh, well, the battling seems to be working, so I quickly get distracted again. Away I go.

Up to the house I guess I was supposed to go to, woah, egg?? I have egg. Egg is exciting, and I guess the guy who gave me Chrys wants it. Cool!

I walk back to the second town-- no one is around. It's weird--I thought npcs had just been around? Eh. Memory probably is wrong again. Silly me.

I walk back to the first town. I haven't encountered any trainers yet. I wonder why.

I go to cross the line into the first town--

The game crashes.

Aw, cmon! I haven't saved. I debate just giving up right then and going back to my actually working games, but something urges me on.

I sigh and restart the game. Again. Man, this game is worse than the silly missingnos.

I load back in--oh, it...saved on its own? But wait, where am I?

I'm in a completely new town. What?

I check my pokemon--Chrys has, apparently, evolved, into a long necked flower dinosaur. It's almost giving me a sad look.

It's level 39.

What kinda memory black outs am I having? I was just...okay. this is weird.

The town is large, with a railway track running through the middle of it.

I must've gotten badges to get this far, right? I check my trainer card.

I have 3 badges, now. But my trainer doesn't look like Red...they're familiar, in a way. Long ish hair, a dirt smudged face, a strange look on their smiling face, hatless, almost vacant yet carefree.

Their name is Nina.

Huh. More corrupted cartridge nonsense, I guess.

All the npcs in town are wearing all black. It seems to be raining. None of them talk to me--I can't interact with them at all.

Okay. Uhm.

I walk north for a while, before walking through a transition tunnel.

It's a lovely park, and I think the music should be peaceful and soothing, but it's distorted into sadness, somber and...disturbing.

My skin prickles with uncomfortable goosebumps, and I continue forward.

There's a large gathering of npcs, all wearing the same black in the now pouring rain, the pixels blocking the screen solidly.

I walk up to them, but they don't move. They don't talk. They don't do...anything.

This is stupid. I just wanna play some pokemon. Why is it all creepy and sad?

I accidentally press forward--and can step through the npcs.

Oh, what? I'm the invisible man!

I walk forward to the two pixels their surrounding--a brown pixel and a grey one.

I can't move over the brown one, but I can interact with the grey pixel.

NINA GREY HAWKINS

DEC 7 1992

NOV 22 1999

I stare at the Gameboy picture of a gravestone.

A face stares back at me.

My face.

My tomb.

The heat gets worse and worse and I look up as the room fills with smoke and ash, I can hear screaming, at the window is a man with a strange protective helmet, a gas mask and heavy clothes, an axe shattering my window.

I scream, and he shouts something at me as the entire house rumbles.

I run to him--

--

I've always loved Pokemon.

[minkahsieh]

Episode 7: The Weight of Loneliness

14,000 km Back Home: A Woman's Silk Road Journey By Min Hsieh

---

Part 1: The Plan Chapter 2: Toward the Alps "Let go of the extras you want, and you'll find you can carry everything you need."

---

The Weight of Loneliness – Austria, DAY 3

After dinner, I returned to the attic, took a long, hot shower, and slipped under the covers. There was no heating here, but compared to the freezing air outside, it still felt much warmer.

I picked up my phone, wanting to send a message to my boyfriend, Kamil, in Beijing— Something I had promised him before I started: to check in every day. From the beginning, this journey had been planned as a ride from Germany to Beijing—to reach him. But now, there wasn't even a single bar of signal.

With no other choice, I set my phone on the nightstand to charge and picked up my journal instead, jotting down the events of the day.

For the first time in two days, my tense nerves finally relaxed—only to be immediately replaced by a deep sense of emptiness.

Loneliness crept in.

Here, in this foreign country, I had no one to rely on.

Downstairs, the old woman still wanted me out of this house.

Would it even matter if I simply disappeared?

It felt like no one would notice.

In that moment, I felt like the loneliest person in the world.

Maybe, I realized, what I feared about the night wasn't just the darkness—but the fear of being unseen.

For some reason, a memory from when I was four or five surfaced in my mind.

“Min, do you want to go for a ride?”

My father called out to me from the doorway.

Whenever my dad wanted to sneak out, he would ask if I wanted to come along—giving him an excuse to leave the house.

And every time, I said yes.

Every time, I would happily climb onto his motorbike, thinking it was a rare chance to go out with him.

Every time, he would take me to the same park, tell me to play on my own, and promise to pick me up later.

And every time, I would wait until dusk, then walk home alone, feeling heartbroken.

Sometimes, when I was too tired to walk, I would look for an adult who seemed trustworthy, someone with a motorbike, and pretend to be lost, asking them to take me home.

My father would disappear for two or three days at a time, then return as if nothing had happened.

And every time he asked if I wanted to go for a ride, I would still say yes.

Then I would walk home alone again.

To this day, I still don't know where he went.

But the most vivid memory he left me with was the sensation of riding on the back of his motorbike, the wind rushing past us.

I remember feeling so happy.

People often asked me, “How did your parents let you take this journey alone?”

The truth was, my father never spent much effort trying to control me.

He passed away when I was eighteen.

My mother, on the other hand, had long been exhausted. She had spent years caring for four children and my chronically ill father.

When I tried to convince her, I gave her a reason I knew she would accept.

“Sixteen hundred years ago, the Buddhist monk Xuanzang traveled to India to bring back sacred scriptures. The route he took will be part of my journey when I reach China.”

Upon hearing that Xuanzang had once walked this path, my mother's face lit up. “I don't really understand where that is,” she said, “but as long as you know what you’re doing.”

But the truth was, I didn't know exactly what I was doing.

I just knew I had to do it.

There were a hundred thousand reasons pushing me forward, but I couldn't find a single one that I could clearly explain to my mother.

So, I chose the one she could accept the most.

I framed my journey in a way that made it impossible for her to stop me.

The strongest opposition, however, came from Kamil and his mother, Maria.

Kamil’s family had immigrated from Poland to Germany when he was five.

When I first arrived in Germany, Kamil was working in Beijing, so I had spent three months winter living with Maria.

Kamil’s parents had taken great care of me, but Maria strongly opposed my plan to cycle across Eurasia.

A few weeks before my departure, Maria called me, pleading with me to give up the trip. Her voice grew more and more urgent, until, in the end, she broke down in tears.

She told me she had been so worried she couldn’t sleep.

At first, Kamil didn’t take my journey seriously. “If you can even get visas for Iran and the Central Asian countries, then go ahead,” he had said dismissively.

But when I actually managed to secure those visas, he began to panic.

Every time we talked about my trip, he would say, “This is basically a suicide mission. You really want to go to Iran and get yourself killed?”

Thinking about this, I closed my journal, set it on the nightstand, and glanced at my phone as it charged.

Actually, if I were to disappear, my mother, Maria, Kamil, and the friends who had tried to stop me would notice—because they were waiting for my call or message to make sure I was safe.

That thought lifted the darkness that had settled over me, replacing it with a gentle warmth.

I turned over, amazed at how a simple shift in perspective could change everything. Human connections are truly reciprocal—if I stayed trapped in self-pity, unwilling to open my heart and step beyond the protective wall I had built, I would never be able to let others' care and love in.

---

Closing Remarks

✨ Your Turn: Have you ever found that when you bravely let down your guard, the world outside is much warmer and kinder than you expected? I’d love to hear your experience—please share it with me!

📅 Time Frame: This story chronicles my journey across two continents between November 2013 and October 2014. Published independently in Taiwan in 2021, it is now shared as an English serialized novel through AI translation, connecting with friends worldwide to share this journey of personal growth.

📅 Next Episode: "The Freezing Spell"